TNT Magazine / Issue 1506

July 9-15 2012 Issue 1506 tntmagazine.com

GOING DEEPER UNDERGROUND Crawling around the catacombs of Paris

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT...

WIN!

AN ION AIR P RO DIGITAL CAM ERA WORTH £250 WITH BOB BOOKS

And other top theatre shows coming to London

007: STYLISH, NOT STIRRED James Bond’s 50 years through art and design

Y C U A S G N I GETT

d fight? o fo t s e g ig b ’s for the world y d a e r u o y a time – are in t a m o T a L It’s

+ 48 HOURS IN ZURICH SURFING IN NEWQUAY

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER La Tomatina is a brilliant explosion of action-packed colour, a festival on every traveller’s to-do list. This week we give you the lowdown on how to survive it, plus how to get the most out of your journey into the Valencia region of Spain (P84).

For something a little closer to home, find out what makes James Bond such an international icon of style at a new exhibition devoted to 007 at the Barbican. Our writer takes a tour on P30. Or at least pretend summer actually exists, and head to Newquay for a surfing lesson (P62). Enjoy!

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

19

LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22, 25

COMPETITION

24

CHATROOM MARCUS BRIGSTOCKE

27

LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

Photos: © 2002 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation. Cover: Getty

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62

28-29 34

LIFESTYLE

37-45

SHOPPING

37

FEATURES TAKING CENTRE STAGE

8

HEALTH & BEAUTY

38-39

Put the Olympics aside for a moment.

London’s culture is gold-medal standard

CAREERS

40-41

STYLISH, NOT STIRRED

LIVING

44-45

NEWS & SPORT

46-57

A new exhibition examines the style and enduring appeal of James Bond

TRAVEL

59

A FAMOUS SALUTE

DIARY

60

NEWS

61

With the Olympics upon us, an Australian hero from Games past is remembered

LATE DEALS

64

COMPETITION

24

TOP FIVE

70,73

TIPS & STUFF

74,76

HOTSHOTS

67

48 HOURS IN...

82

CLASSIFIEDS

91

DESPERATELY SEEKING

114

STAND AND DELIVER

78

30

50

62

Head for a surfing lesson in Newquay, the UK’s undisputed capital of wave-riding

SKULLS AND BONES

78

We scramble below the streets of Paris, exploring the city’s ancient catacombs

PAINT THE TOWN RED

84

Your guide to surviving survive Europe’s messiest festival, La Tomatina in Spain

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Oliver Jones Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke

LONDONDIARY

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Shhh... SECRET LONDON INTRANSIT

KENSINGTON AND CHELSEA Kensington and Chelsea hosts its sixth annual contemporary arts fest, the glamorous and posh borough playing host to a free culture festival that boasts a ‘competitive picnic’ and an interactive 3D experience comprising footage shot on the rooftops of the borough by a gravity-defying freerunner. There’s cabaret, music, dance and theatre, with the globally renowned Portobello Road becoming the home of the largest street theatre around on July 14, as the street comes under the spell of 3D street artist Edgar Mueller.

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July 13-27. Times vary Various locations Westbourne Park

rbkc.gov.uk/intransit

GREENWICH COMEDY FEST

BROADGATE ART TOUR

CHRISTOHER NOLAN SEASON

Baldy Andy Parsons, Andrew Maxwell, Chris Ramsey, Danny Bhoy, Dylan Moran, Jerry Sadowitz, Jarred Christmas, Reginald D Hunter, Rich Hall – the list goes on, this south London comedy fest snagging the finest stand-ups out there for its week of laughs in the Big Top, and this year’s new addition, the ‘little top’.

This 32-acre estate in The City is home to a diverse array of free and publicly located, modern art. To the Faberge eggs and phonebox-riffing ArtBoxes, you can add a self-guided tour round the indoor and outdoor offerings, seeing works such as sculptor Danny Lane’s Colour Eclipse, and the 100,000 LEDs of Finsbury Avenue Lit Floor.

The BFI is intent on ramping up everyone’s anticipation for this summer’s event movie, The Dark Knight Rises, with this season screening its director’s previous work, including Al Pacino thriller Insomnia, dream-stalker Inception, and Nolan’s two previous Bat-films to date.

Could we get anymore excited? Possibly. Not.

July 13-20. Times vary Greenwich SE10 9NN greenwichcomedyfestival.co.uk

Daily EC2M 7PP Liverpool Street broadgate.co.uk/art

July 14-22. Times vary BFI Southbank, SE1 8XT Waterloo bfi.org.uk

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‘Now watch me turn this cigar into a wife’

A DOUBLE BILL OF DECEPTION The Magic Circle

Aussie magician Bruce Glen, the self-styled ‘gentleman magician’ (above), performs a special one-off show with English mind-reader Oliver Beech at the headquarters of The Magic Circle, the esteemed organisations of magicians and conjurers who number but 1500 worldwide. Dodging the perils inherent in a Friday 13, you get two Edinburgh shows for the price of one, and a look inside the ‘house of 10,000 secrets’. £15+

July 13. 7.30pm The Magic Circle, 12 Stephenson Way, NW1 2HD Euston Square magiccirclevenue.co.uk

RIOJA TAPAS FANTASTICAS

FACE TO FACE: SOLO THEATRE

This two-day fest celebrates all the food and wine of Spain’s famous Rioja region. There are cooking demonstrations from famed chef Jose Pizarro, tapas treats to sample, tasting workshops hosted by wine experts Olly Smith and Susy Atkins, not to mention loads of red wine to try, too. Get along for a taste of Spain.

Theatre has tried to challenge the silver screen with epic production design and spectacle. This season does the opposite, putting the emphasis on the intimate, personal, and the imagination, with more than 100 performances, 11 solo acts, 17 special guests and Minifest, a fest-within-a-fest of one-to-one performances.

FREE

July 14-15. Times vary Potters Fields, SE1 2AA Tower Hill riojatapasfantasticas.co.uk

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£15+

July 9-22. Times vary 208 Wandsworth Rd, SW8 2JU Stockwell solotheatrefestival.co.uk

5/7/12 14:08:21

LONDONNEWS DAPPY SORRY FOR ‘KNIFE KILLER’ VIDEO

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A procession of 100 ‘pandas’ arrives in Trafalgar Square last Wednesday for Tai Chi to promote Panda Awareness Week

Perma-capped N-Dubz singer Dappy has apologised after his new video pledged his support for a convicted knife killer.

The pop singer’s new video called for Learco Chindamo, who killed Maida Vale teacher Philip Lawrence in 1995, to be freed. “I wasn’t aware that he did that,” Dappy said on Twitter.

Chindamo was released in 2010 after serving 12 years of his sentence, but was jailed again last year for breaching the conditions of his licence.

I don’t think a lot of local people will be going up to the viewing platform at that price Bermondsey Village Action Group’s Russell Gray hits out at the steep prices – £24.95 for an adult – charged for visits to the top of the newly opened Shard

‘STRAIGHT FIGHT’ ANGERS TORIES A leaflet in south London for a Lib Dem candidate has resulted in the party facing accusations of homophobia.

The election leaflet supports Lib Dem candidate Rebekah Moll and promises a ‘straight fight’ against an unnamed Conservative candidate. The Tories, though, have fielded gay barrister Adrian Amer for the Kingston by-election.

“Talk of a ‘straight fight’ in such a campaign is at best insensitive and at worst a poor veil for blatant prejudice,” LGBTory chairman Matthew Sephton said.

ON THE TUBE

Rush hour trains are busier But it’s investment that has made them so appealing to so many Does it feel as if your commute to work in the morning is getting busier?

Is it more difficult to find a seat on the train? That’s because, as new figures reveal, overcrowding on the capital’s trains has increased.

Overcrowding on peak time trains rose from 3 per cent in 2010 to 3.2 per cent in 2011, proving that trains are busier than ever before. Department for Transport figures show that nearly half a million people arrive in London in the morning, but that this is 4 per cent above the official capacity the city’s trains can carry.

There are 90,000 fewer people travelling for the peak evening return journey as people travel across a wider time period. However, the level of overcrowding during the evening rush hour has risen

emphatically from 1.9 per cent to 2.3 per cent over the same period.

The reason for this train overcrowding is not that there aren’t enough train carriages, or enough services, to cope with the demand placed by the public during these peak rush hour times. In fact, the reason, apparently, is that improvements to trains and services means the railway has become an increasingly appealing method of transport.

“Faster trains and better services are attracting record numbers to the railways,” a spokesman for train operating body Atoc said. “The flipside is overcrowding and we understand passengers’ frustration at being unable to find a seat.”

There’s just no arguing with that sort of logic, is there?

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEKEND’S CLOSURES/WORKS

METROPOLITAN: No service between Wembley Park, Uxbridge and Northwood this weekend. Rail replacement buses operate.

NORTHERN: No service between High Barnet and Camden Town until 08.45 on Sunday.

VICTORIA: No service this Saturday.

WATERLOO AND CITY: Closed on Sunday.

Especially for Kylie, and us

Photos: Getty

6

Kylie and Jason are set to take to the London stage this week for a very special duet – one that has not been performed in 23 years.

Forever known as Charlene and Scott to a generation of soap watchers, Kylie and Jason will perform the special duet at this week’s Hit Factory Live show in Hyde Park on Wednesday.

Quite what song they are going to perform is being kept closely under wraps, but you probably don’t have to look too far outside of the box, or from their 1988 UK number one single, Especially For You, for clues.

They’ll be joining the cast of a pop-tastic concert, which features a wealth of Eighties and Nineties talent, including Rick Astley, Dead or Alive and 2Unlimited.

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Pressure’s on: Curious Incident actors Luke Treadaway and Niamh Cusack

Taking centre stage Danny Boyle might have artificial rain clouds, but outside London 2012, there’s a technicolour cultural downpour WORDS REBECCA KENT There’s an Olympic-sized blot on the horizon, but for the non-sports inclined, the alternative is a seriously appetising array of theatre. We wouldn’t wish anyone break a leg over in Stratford, but in the West End, you can count on it, with everyone from Danny DeVito to Welsh funnyman Rob Brydon making turns on stage. There’s gold-medal worthy experiences, too, such as tarot cards coming to life, and sleepovers in the Hayward Gallery.

Who needs the Games? These are the hottest tickets in town.

One of the most ambitious plays of the summer will be the theatrical adaptation of the best-selling novel The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night Time. Penned by British author Mark Haddon, the bleakly humorous story follows the daunting journey of Christopher, a 15-year-old with Asperger’s syndrome, who takes it upon himself to investigate the death of his neighbour’s dog.

Reproducing such a successful tome for the National Theatre is nervewracking, explains playwright Simon Stephens. “Like most people, I had read the book and fallen in love with 8

it,“ he says. “So, it was with a curious combination of combined terror and flattery that Mark should trust me with his baby.”

However, the tale is in good hands: Stephens is one of Britain’s most highly regarded playwrights, and the director, Marianne Elliott, is a key player in the stratospheric success of War Horse at the National Theatre. (“She never does anything shit,” Stephens says.)

The pair have a unique challenge in manifesting the thoughts of Christopher, who has an extraordinary brain for maths, yet struggles to handle everyday life – as evidenced when he escapes on a terrifying excursion from Swindon to London.

“For me it wasn’t about re-writing or re-imagining the tale, it was about finding a dramatic language for the world in which he told it,” Stephens says.

“You do get the feeling you’ve adapted the country’s favourite book and everyone will have already decided in their mind how it will look on stage, so in that sense, we will have let everyone down, but I have faith in Marianne and faith in the actors. What

will be tricky is how quickly we can get people to forget the book and enjoy the theatrical experience.”

A month later, and a world away from Christopher’s monochrome universe, the Old Vic Tunnels will spurt to life with visions of the future.

Carnesky’s Tarot Dome will take over the subterranean recesses beneath Waterloo station. Visit and you may discover your future is far from what you expected. The show will feature a dreamscape, with giant penny arcades, slot machines and laughing policemen along the way, plus contortionists and rock ‘n’ roll rollerskaters to keep the dream alive.

So there’s proof that London’s cultural bric-a-brac is in full force. And, while the Olympics opening ceremony is a headline-grabber, it’s not the only thing that will make you go ‘wow’.

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MORE WEST END SHOWS ›› Curious Incident. National Theatre. Aug 2 to Oct 27. From £12. Also shown in cinemas nationwide Sep 6 as part of National Theatre Live. SE1 9PX Waterloo nationaltheatre.org.uk; ntlive.com Carnesky’s Tarot Dome. Old Vic Tunnels. Sept 4-13. £20. Station Approach Road, SE1 8SW Waterloo oldvictunnels.com

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CHARIOTS OF FIRE SOHO

1936 ISLINGTON

An adaptation of the legendary Oscarwinning movie about the joint quest of British athletes Eric Liddel and Harold Abrahams to become the fastest men on earth at the 1924 Paris Olympics. It’s an exciting triumph-over-theodds tale, based on a true story, and lathered with sacrifice and victory – a fitting way to get psyched for London 2012.

The bubbling cauldron of power and politics preceding the 1936 Berlin Olympics is played out by a nine-actor cast in this Tom McNab production. German jews were being persecuted, the US toyed with the idea of a boycott, and black American athlete Jesse Owens won five gold medals at the event which in Hitler’s eyes, was supposed to showcase the superiority of the Master Race. This play captures the greed and ethics of the time.

£29

Until Nov 10 Gielgud Theatre, 23 Shaftesbury Avenue, W1D 6AR Piccadilly Circus reallyuseful.com

£25

VIVA FOREVER! PICCADILLY CIRCUS You’ll see less cheese at a dairy farm than at this longawaited musical that everyone’s been talking about since Posh, Baby, Ginger, Sporty and Scary met for the launch a fortnight ago. Comedian Jennifer Saunders has penned the script, which is a mother-daughter story with the backdrop of a TV talent show. It’ll be one helluva singalong at least. £20

Jul 18-Aug 5 Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery Avenue, EC1R 4TN Angel sadlerswells.com

From Nov 27 Piccadilly Theatre, 16 Denman Street, W1D 7DY Piccadilly Circus vivaforeverthemusical.com

HOTEL MEDEA SOUTH BANK

AFTER THE PARTY PICCADILLY CIRCUS Serge Cartwright’s play follows two thirty-something lads from Stratford who are relying on the Olympics to revive their DJ careers. The show is part of the Criterion’s Playing The Games Showcase.

A WALK ON PART: THE FALL OF NEW LABOUR LEICESTER SQUARE

£7.50

£20 This is no ordinary theatre experience, as the audience is fully immersed in a retelling of the myth of Medea and Jason (above) to a soundtrack composed by Brazilian DJ Dolores. There’s performing of rituals, a cabaret show – which you become a part of – videos and, at bedtime, attendees are tucked in with a toasty mug of hot chocolate. At dawn, they’re roused to encounter ‘a harrowing voyage through the landscape of Medea’s mind with paparazzi chases, burning brides and a twisted game of hide and seek’, before breakfast. It sounds absolutely bonkers, but hell, give it a go.

July 19-Aug 11 Hayward Gallery, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX Waterloo southbankcentre.co.uk

10

July 26-Aug 12 Criterion Theatre, 2 Jermyn St, SW1Y 4XA Piccadilly Circus criterion-theatre.co.uk

Michael Chaplin has adapted the trenchant diaries of former Labour MP Chris Mullins into a fleeting tour through Westminster Politics, African flashpoints and Mullins’ former Sunderland South constituency, all with decency and a dash of humour. This is brain food.

RED VELVET KILBURN

Until July 14 Arts Theatre, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JB Leicester Square artstheatrewestend.co.uk

Olivier awardwinner Adrian Lester stars in this true story of Ira Aldridge, a young black American actor who takes the stage in London in 1825 when prejudice is rife. £10

Oct 11-Nov 24 Tricycle Theatre, 269 Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR Kilburn tricycle.co.uk

£15

SPORTS PLAY CHELSEA THEATRE £10

Austrian playwright Elfriede Jelinek confronts our romanticised ideas of sport and athletes.

Jul 30-Aug 4 Chelsea Theatre, 7 World’s End Pl, SW10 0DR Imperial Wharf chelseatheatre.org.uk

OUR BOYS COVENT GARDEN Matthew Lewis (above), better known for his role as Neville in the Harry Potter series of films, joins the cast of this play, which follows the camaraderie, tribulations, and terror of five young war-wounded soldiers. The play is based on the personal army experiences of the writer, Jonathan Lewis. £18.75

Sep 26-Dec 15 Duchess Theatre, 3-5 Catherine Street, WC2B 5LA Covent Garden nimaxtheatres.com

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A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL PICCADILLY CIRCUS

CABARET SAVOY Pop Idol contestantcome-good Will Young (below) takes to the West End for the first time in this Kander and Ebb stage classic, revived by Rufus Norris. Young stars as the enigmatic Emcee in this musical, set in a Berlin nightclub during the rise of the Nazis. Former EastEnders actress Michelle Ryan will also make her West End debut in the role of Sally Bowles. The show arrives in London after embarking on a four-week national tour. £45

A treat for Gavin And Stacey fans.

Comedian Rob Brydon, who plays affable Uncle Bryn, will make his West End debut in this comedy (below) centred on an amdram performance that goes off the rails. Brydon plays the theatre company’s overzealous director, Dafydd, who gets more than a little excited about a widowed newcomer Guy (played by Nigel Harman). As it turns out, all the best action happens offstage in this Trevor Nunn-directed play. £10

Sep 17-Jan 5, 2013 Harold Pinter Theatre, 6 Panton Street, SW1Y 4DN Piccadilly Circus atgtickets.com

SUNSHINE BOYS STRAND You’ve only got a few weeks left to catch Hollywood’s favourite shorty, Danny DeVito, in this moving comedy, with one of England’s most respected actors Richard Griffiths. DeVito, in his West End debut, and Griffiths play a pair of vaudevillian stars reunited for a one-off television special. It’s laughs all round, as old rivalries prevail. £20

From Oct 3 Savoy Theatre, Savoy Court, Strand, WC2R OET Charing Cross savoytheatre.org

Until July 28 Savoy Theatre, Savoy Court, Strand, WC2R OET Charing Cross savoytheatre.org

PLAY WITHOUT WORDS ISLINGTON

JULIUS CAESAR LEICESTER SQUARE RSC artistic director Gregory Doran draws parallels between African and Roman politics, and puts Shakespeare’s work of tyranny and coup into the backdrop of subSahara. Interestingly, the play will be staged with an all-black British cast. £26

There’s no dialogue in this dance drama about sexual desire and class conflict, but don’t let that put you off. It’s a winner, from choreographer Matthew Bourne. £12

DEMOCRACY WATERLOO This gripping spy thriller, from the pen of Michael Frayn, explores the world of political intrigue, espionage and betrayal in the final months of Nobel prize-winning West German chancellor Willy Brandt’s term in office. It emerges that a Stasi spy has infiltrated his coalition government and what ensues is a snapshot of the racy world of democracy, as acted out by an ensemble cast, including Andre Bridgmond, David Cann and Patrick Dury. £10

Until July 28 The Old Vic, The Cut, SE1 8NB Waterloo oldvictheatre.com

July 12-Aug 5 Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery Avenue, EC1R 4TN Angel sadlerswells.com

AND WE WILL LAUGH AT GILDED BUTTERFLIES LEICESTER SQUARE

Aug 8-Sep 15 Noel Coward Theatre, 85-88 Saint Martin’s Lane, WC2 4AU Leicester Square rsc.org.uk

THE COMPLETE WORLD OF SPORTS LEICESTER SQUARE

Two women on death row share their bleakest moment.

Proceeds go to the charity Amicus, for US prisoners’ legal representation.

Everything from the validity of darts to the curious game of curling is covered in briefbut-madcap fashion.

July 22 Leicester Square Theatre, WC2H 7BX Leicester Square leicestersquaretheatre.com

Jul 17-Aug 15 Arts Theatre, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JB Leicester Square artstheatrewestend.co.uk

£10

£17.50

BUSH BAZAAR SHEPHERD’S BUSH An array of performers takes over the theatre and, as you roam among them, you decide which acts get your cash, and how much.

It’s a kind of buskers’ souk.

Be warned, though, haggling, bartering, begging or stealing will be all par for the course in this very immersive theatre experience presented by Theatre Delicatessen. £10

July 31-Aug 18 Bush Theatre, 7 Uxbridge Road, W12 8LJ Shepherd’s Bush bushtheatre.co.uk

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MYLONDON

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The most interesting person I’ve met is the landlady at Jazz After Dark in Soho with her tales of Amy Winehouse; and my flatmate Lucile who knows everything that’s important to know about life, love and London.

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For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat a doorstop-sized cheeseburger from Balans in Soho at 4am always hits the spot.

What gets me up in the morning? During the week, the thought of a vanilla latte/hot chocolate from somewhere suitably overpriced on my way in to work. At the weekend, the thought of scrambled eggs, a cup of tea and Keeping Up With The Kardashians before leaving the house.

My perfect weekend starts with after-work drinks on Friday in Soho; on Saturday, brunch in the Bluebird in Chelsea or the Electric in Notting Hill, followed by a film in Leicester Square (expensive, but I love how big and brash they are) and then dinner in Clapham – The Rapscallion on Venn Street is amazing. Sundays I’d be sprawled out on Clapham Common in the sun.

What are you looking forward to during the Olympics? Possible flexihours and an influx of sexy international visitors — but not much else!

The last naughty thing I did was get so drunk in a restaurant and can’t even remember what I had to eat.

Five words that sum up London ... The love of my life.

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Open recruitment days are being held daily from Monday 9th July until Friday 13th July between 10.30am & 5pm at Sports Bar & Grill Marylebone, Marylebone Station, Melcombe Place, London, NW1 6JJ. Bring your CV, personality & the ability to /00 XXXXXXX /00 provide 2 references.

XXXXXXXXXXX All candidates require good spoken English along with immaculate appearance, sense of humour, energy & passion

Email:info@sportsbarandgrill.co.uk www.sportsbarandgrill.co.uk

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Classy: inside Artesian

HOTEL BAR THE SCENE Just because this posh, luxurious bar is situated inside the five-star Langham Hotel, it doesn’t mean you have to fork out a fortune for a room in order to enjoy it. Simply ask the hotel staff to point you in the right direction once inside the revolving doors. So long as you’re dressed smart-casual, you’ll do – it’s not all suits and gowns. The bar oozes opulence, with elegant sculpted timber chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and shades of mulberry and lilac running throughout. Sit on a stool at the impressive marble bar, described as ‘Chinese Chippendale’ in design, and chat to the friendly mixologists, or relax on one of the embossed leather sofas where you’ll be waited on.

THE GRUB Nibble on the never-ending supply of crisps and nuts when you order a drink. Or stop being stingy and fork out for quirky snacks including caviar, dim sum and lobster gratin, or stick to chunky chips and samosas.

BEHIND THE BAR As you’d expect, the cocktail menu is extensive, with the usuals as well as bespoke mixes. If you’re still unsure, tell the bar staff and they’ll create a concoction for you. There are also top-class spirits, wines and beers on offer.

BILL PLEASE Food from £3.50; cocktails from £14; beers from £7; wine from £7.25.

VERDICT Remember where you are, this place isn’t cheap. But for a special occasion, it offers a touch of class in stunning surroundings. CAROL DRIVER

Photos: Chris McIntosh

1c Portland Place, Regent Street, W1B 1JA

3 OF THE BEST IMMERSIVE EATS

14

artesian-bar.co.uk

Oxford Circus

BONNIE-ON-SKY

ANNEX EAST

STREET FEAST

Platterform brings the seaside to London Bridge at Skyroom, with a Bonnie Gull shellfish feast, plus designer light and sound, and amusement pier telescopes for kicks. Three courses, £33. Until July 21.

Pop-up veteran Jimmy Garcia hosts a one-month Olympicsinspired supper club in Stratford, featuring feasts with themes like Dodgeball And Dinner and Sunday Brunch Club Sports Day. And that’s just the start. £32.

Look out for the ‘hangar’ style venue, just off Dalston Lane, and you’ll find anything up to 20 food vendors, ping-pong tables, live art installations and comfy sofas to sit in, every Friday from 5pm.

bonnie-on-sky.eventbrite.com

annexeast.co.uk

streetfeastlondon.com

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BITE SIZE

A brilliant evening: The Gaslight Grill

THE PERFECT BLEND Sometimes even the most exhaustive cocktail menu can’t offer a drink that really suits your mood. That’s why the new menu-less cocktail concept at the Purple Bar and Billiard Room in the Sanderson hotel is a wonder. Tell the mixologists how you’re feeling and what you’re craving and they’ll discuss drink options with you, then whip you up the perfect blend. That’s creativity at its best. Bespoke cocktails are served at the Berners Street hotel every day from 6pm and cost about £12. imaginationseries.com

GRUB GOES GLOBAL St Martin’s Courtyard in Covent Garden is laying on a treat for gourmands this weekend, with its free Global Food Festival. There’ll be a popup tequila bar serving free cocktails, a hog roast from Jamie’s Italian, Bombay chip butties from Dishoom, Thai street food, Mexican brownies, cream teas, and a whole lot more – all to the sound of a ska band and Indian dhol drummers. It’s on Sat, noon-5pm. stmartinscourtyard.co.uk

SPICE UP THE BARBIE All those steaks and snags grilling on the barbecue this summer require some saucy new condiments. Gourmet burrito restaurant group Poncho 8, in St Paul’s and Spitalfields, has just released some that will put a kick on the tongue. They range from Garlic Chilli (£3.50) for lightweights, to Smoky Medium (£4.95), for marinades, and Fuego sauce, which is 200 times spicier than Tabasco (£9.95). Game?

Get them at Harvey Nichols or online.

THE GASLIGHT GRILL British THE SCENE The Gaslight Grill, part of the stable responsible for Clapham’s excellent Blind Tiger and Powder Keg Diplomacy, indulges in the same esoteric decor of its siblings. More than 200 chains hang from a skylight in the centre of the ceiling, caged lightbulbs provide artful illumination, trombone parts protrude from the walls, and the room’s focal point is an attention-grabbing piece of steampunkinspired art (above) by London graphic designer James Piper. If you’re looking for a spot to impress someone, this warm, sophisticated restaurant is your place.

THE GRUB Gaslight’s aim is ‘to redefine the modern steakhouse by pushing the boundaries of creativity’ and chefs Marek Novak and Jindra Vbrka certainly succeed. My partner’s starter of slow-roasted pork belly, scallops and roast balsamic onion puree with pork crackling is an outstanding combination of tastes, while my Loch Fyne smoked salmon with pea and mint sorbet tempts me to order a repeat. However, I want to leave room for the main, a 200g slab of fillet steak, complemented spectacularly by my choice of sauces – smoky Bowmore whisky, Hoxton stout sauce (with honey undertones) and the Beefeater gin with juniper berry. There’s 18 to choose from, each adding another element to the rich meat and well worth experimenting with. It’s all washed down with a bottle of Cantina Tramin Pinot Noir. My date’s smoked duck breast, marinated in chilli and orange, with roasted sweet potatoes more than satisfies her yearning for a hotter dish, providing such a filling meal that she doesn’t want dessert. However, I twist her arm and we share a rhubarb and crumble tart tatin with rum and raisin ice cream, finished off with an espresso martini. Our French waiter’s service is spot on all evening.

As the Gaslight Grill joins on to the equally outstanding Lost Angel Bar, there’s plenty of options for superior cocktails, both before and after your meal.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £6.50; mains from £15.25; desserts from £6; wine from £19; beer from £3.90; cocktails from £7.95.

VERDICT The Gaslight will illuminate your evening – and your life. JAHN VANNISSELROY BEHIND THE BAR

poncho8.com 339 Battersea Park Rd, SW11 4LS

gaslightgrill.co.uk

Clapham Junction

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Ban smoking in public?

Text TNT and your message to

81707*

troubled actor Charlie Sheen’s nostrils are so snotty and full of coke, he calls them the Hilton sisters.

Bubba My wife left me because i’m ‘unnecessarily mysterious’. Or did she?!

Tom a Scotsman mistook me for a Native American the other day. He greeted me with the name “Hawkeye the New”.

Nicole What do you call a French footballer in a Duracell shop? Batteries Evra.

Gooner I bought my wife a vibrating lipstick the other day. She said it was the best make-up sex she’d ever had.

Penelope I only take advice from people who like big butts.

Because they cannot lie.

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Kelly I get a bit of stick occasionally, being a glue sniffer.

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Jahn Vannisselroy’s column (‘Still more to extinguish’, TNT 1505) was bang on the money.

It’s sickening walking past a crowd of smokers and copping a lungful of tobacco. When someone’s habit starts affecting others in a detrimental way, it’s time to attack it. The state must look at banning smoking in public places. Then, those of us who make a conscious choice not to fill our lungs with crap can all breathe a little easier.

GAME ON People say the Olympics are good for England, but all I see is greed. Most of my friends and colleagues are not looking forward to trying to get into work; we had the experience of trying to get home after the Jubilee and London does not have the infrastructure to cope with the many tourists that will descend on the country. And I don’t agree with the idea that the country will benefit from revenue – very few countries that have hosted the Olympics have made a profit. But perhaps it’s just sour grapes: I wasn’t able to get any affordable tickets to see any of the Games.

M. Rowan, via email

SPEAK EASY Carlton Blues’ treatment of Brock McLean (Sport, TNT 1505) is indefensible.

So is the AFL’s fines for comments made by players on Twitter. Footballers in Britain have also been fined for ‘homophobic’ posts. Have

the authorities ever heard of free speech?

Mark Taha, via email

POOR DAVID It’s a tough break for Becks. They selected Micah Richards, a man who point blank refused to join the England squad at the Euros as he was not guaranteed a first-team slot, while Beckham would have done anything he could to be included. It’s a bad message to send. We should have players who want to represent us.

Clint Heine, via Facebook

Luciana wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventures

YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @HeyMyNameIsSEAN: So, Adele’s pregnant? #RollingInTheSheets @jennyandteets: The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself. @Aspersioncast: Thought time away from my phone would be good, then thought of a tweet & had to write it on a Post-it like some fucking savage.

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LAUGH A MINUTE Thanks for your story on Rhys Darby (TNT 1505).

He seems like a genuinely great guy and it’s great he’s remained humble, but is still ambitious. What an absolute legend.

Elise, via email ACTON /44 ZURICH /82

The Larrik Inn | Fulham: Booze is great!!! When consumed responsibly, of course.

Frank Marr: Pembrokeshire, Wales is a great place to visit.

My trip there was one of the best weekends I’ve ever had ...

Jason Borthwick: I read your guide to Brighton. The lanes of independent shops in Brighton are fantastic, especially all the vintage shops

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I’m sure you could teach the men in Iraq a thing or two ...

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Become an egg donor and give hope to others…

Nurture Egg Donor Program is looking for young, healthy, responsible women to join our egg donor program.

Egg donation is a safe and rewarding process which gives others the chance of realizing their dream to become parents.

For more information or to apply online please visit www.nurturedonors.com or email info@nurturedonors.com

Requirements: • Women between the ages of 20 – 33 years old • Healthy BMI (body mass index) • Regular menstrual cycle • Free of hereditary illnesses NOTE: Egg donation in the UK is non-anonymous and must be done for altruistic reasons only. Egg donors are compensated a set amount of £750 for their time and effort.

OCEANIA STAGE OLD ROYAL NAVAL COLLEGE, GREENWICH SATURDAY 21 JULY AND SUNDAY 22 JULY A weekend of FREE music from all of Oceania featuring:

THE BLACK ARM BAND COMPANY / GURRUMUL / 9BACH / FRANK YAMMA /NARASIRATO / WANTOK MUSIC’S SING SING DIRECTED BY DAVID BRIDIE / SUNDOG / THE BARONS OF TANG / CROOKED FIDDLE / GREEN FIRE ISLANDS / COASTAL VOICES For full details and tickets go to

and many more

www.btriverofmusic.com

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Book now to the ultimate hospitality Package

at the London Broncos Competitions and Giveaways throughout the day!

London Broncos Vs Wigan Warriors Twickenham Stoop Stadium

Langhorn Drive, Twickenham, Middlesex TW2 7SX Train: Twickenham Station

+ After Party @ Kings Bar (Twickenham Stoop)

Saturday, July 21st, 3pm Tickets for both the BIG BIG DAY OUT + THE AFTER PARTY are just ÂŁ10 - see www.tntmagazine.com/BigDayOut *First 100 people to purchase tickets, and quote Big Day Out, will be in with a chance of winning A TABLE FOR 4 AT A HOME GAME OF YOUR CHOICE, SET IN THE LEGENDS LOUNGE + A SIGNED BALL & SHIRT.

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SPOTTED AT THE BRONCOS VS RHINOS Twickenham Stoop Saturday, June 30 Photos by: Chiara Palazzo/TNT For more Spotted like us on facebook/tntmagazine

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Sure to empty the tank: Bruce Springsteen

festival

watch

CAMP BESTIVAL

HARD ROCK CALLING Hyde Park, W2 4RU JULY 13-15 | DOORS AT 12PM | £50+

The reformed Happy Mondays, electro-disco-indie poppers Hot Chip (below), Kool And The Gang and TEED are just a handful of the acts performing at this four-day fest in the eye-catching surrounds of Lulworth Castle. It’s more than just about the music, though, as this Bestival spin-off has plenty of DJs, theatre productions, talks, spoken word and literary goings on among its family-friendly approach. If you fancied it, you could go and catch The Gruffalo (live) while you’re there, as well.

Lulworth Castle, Dorset, BH20 5QS July 26-29. £175+ Wareham

Hyde Park becomes ‘Guitar Park’, the setting for rock gods, returning titans, reformed axe-masters and punk icons, along with a healthy dose of up-andcoming talent. If you have even a passing interest in the six-stringed instrument, then you’d be a fool to miss out here.

Soundgarden were once the classic rock-meets-metal stalwarts of the Nineties grunge scene, but split in 1997, before regrouping in 2010. With the original fourpiece line-up – Chris Cornell, Kim Thayil, Matt Cameron and Ben Shepherd – this is the ‘Garden as they were, and are, and anyone who saw them destroy Download a few weeks back will know the boys have a classics-laden set of Superunkown and Badmotorfinger hits up their sleeves. Support comes from none other than street-walking cheetah Iggy Pop and his Stooges, and, playing their first show in the northen hemisphere for more than 30 years, Cold Chisel, Australia’s proud torch bearers for powerful pub rock ‘n’ roll writ stadium size.

Saturday welcomes the Boss to town. After battling the mood of the stormlashed Isle of Wight festival last month (and winning), where he pulled out the stops for a three-hour set, Bruce Springsteen will be hoping for a bit of sun this time. We’ll be hoping he nails it as he did on the UK’s little island in the channel, delving deep into his remarkable back catalogue of true rock ‘n’ roll classics.

Paul Simon closes the show on the Sunday, performing his groundbreaking 1986 album Gracelands, complete with Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

campbestival.net Queensway

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MADONNA

NEW BAND

GIG TUES, JULY 17. £70+

She may have lost her crown to Lady Gaga, and found herself fumbling to maintain her relevance to the kids (her ‘mandy’ babbling from a few months back was especially cringe-worthy), but she’s still one of a kind. It’ll be a hit-laden set with classics and newbies alike. For such a steep price, though, you’d expect as much.

Hyde Park Close to Black Lion Gate, W2 4RU Queensway royalparks.org.uk

PUSHCA RETURNS TO SAVE THE WORLD

BACK TO 95

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, JULY 14. 9PM-4AM £20+

SAT, JULY 14. 10PM-5AM £17.50+

Pushca brings the glam back to London for its first party in two years. New York house legend David Morales leads the celebrations, with DJ-cum-fashionista Scarlett Etienne joining the extravagance. In London’s newest club venue, the East End’s Pleasure Gardens, this promises lavish indulgence aplenty.

This retro-flavoured bash takes it old skool, with the sounds of the Nineties. DJ Spoony, Matt Jam Lamont, alongside Mickey Simms, Ray Hurley and Andy B, will be on hand to spin the house and garage classics, with diva queen Rosie Gaines popping in to perform her 1995 chart smash Closer Than Close.

Village Underground Shacklewell Lane, EC2A 3PQ Shoreditch High Street villageunderground.co.uk

Proud 2 Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich backto95.com

HIT FACTORY LIVE

JAM HOT PRESENTS: DJ YODA AND DJ VADIM

THE TEMPER TRAP

GIG

CLUB

GIG

WED, JULY 11. 3.30PM £48.50

FRI, JULY 13. 10PM-4AM £8

WED, JULY 11. 7PM £27.50

Pulling together a number of the pop stars from the Stock Aitken Waterman stable, this (mostly) Eighties throwback event features the likes of Bananarama, Dead Or Alive, Rick Astley and 2 Unlimited. The real treat, though, is, for the first time in absolutely donkey’s years, a live duet between Kylie and Jason.

Mash-up master DJ Yoda – hailed as “one of the top 10 DJs you have to see before you die” by Q Magazine – and hip-hop and electronica legend DJ Vadim headline the intimate surrounds of Brixton’s Jamm for this one-off, very special night that will venture from roots, to hip hop to soul, house and techno, and everything in between.

The Melburnians play this seductive London location as part of Somerset House’s Summer Series of shows, which also sees the likes of Jil Scott (Jul 9 & 10), Anna Calvi (Jul 12), The Enemy (Jul 13), Tindersticks (Jul 15), M83 (Jul 16), Paloma Faith (Jul 17 & 18) and Charlotte Gainsbourg take to its impressive stage.

Hyde Park Close to Black Lion Gate, W2 4RU Queensway royalparks.org.uk

Brixton Jamm 261 Brixton Road, SW9 6LH Brixton brixtonjamm.org

Somerset House The Strand, WC2R 1LA Charing Cross somersethouse.org

POLARSETS THE BUZZ SO FAR Indie sounds

mixed with dancefloor beats and a big helping of Ibizan euphoria – that’s the flavour schoolfriends Rob (vocals/guitar), Mike (keys) and James (drums) mine, and boy do they do it well. New EP Exotica takes the indie-pop template laid out through early singles Sunshine Eyes and Morning and throws into the mix a laidback chill-out vibe across four sun-drenched cuts of danceable, catchy synth-laden pop perfection.

Like a sunnier, smilier Hot Chip.

THE CRITICS SAY “They deliver a club-friendly punch heavier than most DJs could replicate” Artrocker THE PLUG Exotica is out July 9 through Euphonios Records.

Fieldview festival East End Lane, Wiltshire, SN15 5JX Chippenham, Aug 4. £45 polarsets.com

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MONDAY 9 I Love Mondays DJ Victor and guests spin disco, dance, funky house, R‘n’B and reggae.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £2, NHS staff free.

The Gallery Marco V, Kyau & Albert, Lisa Lashes, My Digital Enemy, Gavyn Mytchel, Ben Young, Cesar Ruiz, Teddy Voxhall, CTRL, Lewis Duggleby, Areen Voskanien, Matt Van Driver & My Cool, Asa Mikel, Vic Light and Arvydas Petrikas spin electro, house, techno and trance. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £14.

BOOK NOW!

Popcorn Resident DJs play dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Rehab DJ Haley, Zoe Demonette, Dan Udy and Malarky supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/ w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 9.30pm.

Service Industry Night Colin Russell and Donald Sweeneey provide R‘n’B, hip-hop and chart.

Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, w/payslip free before midnight.

Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, alternative and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040).

9pm-3am. £5, £1 before 11pm, free before 10pm, NUS £3.

TUESDAY 10 Balearic Deep, vocal and Balearic house from Amir Groove and Nick Tcherniak. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, guestlist free.

No Quarter Resident DJs spin rock, indie and electro.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £8, w/flyer £6.

Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop.

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/flyer free before 10.30pm.

Stupid Tuesday Resident DJs play funky house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus supply electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

WEDNESDAY 11 Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist/NUS/w/flyer £3, NUS £4.

Jam Hot Presents DJ Yoda, DJ Vadim, Khalil, Chris P Cuts and General Knowledge spin house, hip-hop, funk and electro.

Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537).

10pm-4am. £10, adv £8.

UP ON THE ROOF Brixton Clubhouse. Sun, July 22. 2pm-1am. £8+ Legend Norman Jay (above) and the Sancho Panza crew bring the good-time vibes to this rooftop party. Fingers crossed for some summer sunshine.

SW9 8HH

Brixton

brixtonclubhouse.com

Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £5, £3 before 11pm, free before 9pm.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin dance and pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

Work Lee Harris, Niyi Maximus Crown and Big John Freeman spin house, pop, electro, R‘n’B, funk and dancehall.

Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

11pm-5am. £5, £4 before 1am.

THURSDAY 12 Bad Sex Mayton DJs and Fin Munro spin electro and indie, plus burlesque and cabaret performances. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-2.30am. £7, £5 before 10pm, guestlist/NUS £5, NUS free before 10pm.

Gravity DJs Alan K and Fat Tony spin electro, house and disco, with hosts Mauricio and Danny Boyce. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

2pm-late. £10, concs £5.

I Love Fwd Resident DJs and guests supply house, funk and electronica. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 9.30pm-2am. £7.

Clubbing London & Max Parties House and electro. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). Midnight-6am. £10.

Sonic Router Wattville, Braiden, West Norwood Cassette Library and Oli Marlow provide deep house, techno, minimal and electronica. The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511). 9pm-2am. Adv £5.

Death2Disco Danny Watson, Nigel Thomas and BlagSound DJs spin indie, punk and rock, plus Fridge Magnets, Born Blonde and Humanizer perform live.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £3, free before 11pm.

Sounds Of The Underground DJs Pioneer, Mighty Moe, Truce, GGB, Haigan, Naughty and guests provide underground house music and dance beats.

East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

9pm-3am. £5, free before midnight.

22

Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm.

Yoyo Leo Greenslade, Seb Chew and guests supply hip-hop, dubstep, garage, grime and bassline-heavy music. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7.30pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

FRIDAY 13 CTRL The Australian DJ supplies dance beats, house and electronica. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Danceable Experiments Max Cooper, D/R/U/G/S, Rival Consoles, Enjoyed and guests supply electronica, house and techno. Electrowerkz, Torrens St, EC1V 1NQ (020 7837 6419).

10pm-6am. £15, adv £12.

The Doctor’s Orders TDO, J-Rawls, DJ Vadim and Ashley Beedle supply hip-hop and dance beats.

East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

9pm-3.30am. £10, adv £7.

Fabriclive Jacques Lu Cont, Jaymo & Andy George, Miguel Campbell, Roska, Raf Daddy, The 2 Bears, Seiji, Foamo, Brackles, Doc Daneeka, Shox, Jamie George, Alexander Nut, Eclair Fifi, Johnny Dub and Jon K spin house, electro and techno.

Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £17, adv £16, adv £21 inc CD, £7 after 3am, mems £12, NUS £10 before midnight.

Flush Scrag, Stylus Manley, DJ Vice, Deranger, Cell Suicide, Cloudbreak and Lojam supply drum ‘n’ bass, electro, dubstep, house, breaks and dance. Brixton Clubhouse, Brixton Rd, SW9 8HH (020 7326 4455). 10pm-late. £5.

London Legends Special Jeff Amadeus, Jerome Hill, Aaron Liberator, Acid Steve and Nirinight supply house, techno and electro.

Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-7am. £10.

Lost In London Cesar Ruiz, Rachel Harvey, I Am Santiago, DJ Masa and Niroshan spin pop, house, Latin, funk and electro.

Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). £10 & £15, adv £6.

We Are Lizards Scroobius Pip, Pete And The Pirates, Push and guests supply hip-hop, electro, soul, funk and indie. The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618).

8pm-2am. £5 after 9pm.

SATURDAY 14 Back To 95 Spoony, Matt Jam Lamont, Mickey Simms, Ray Hurley, Andy B, Jerry Rankin and Listener spin old-school house and garage. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070).

10pm-5am. £17.50, adv £12.50.

Dirty Dutch Chuckie (DJ set), Gregori Klosman, Genairo Nvilla, Gifted, James Murray, Lewi Five 0, Dirty English, O-Twins, Sam Dowling and Matt Dominguez spin electro, house and techno.

The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £20.

Fabric Craig Richards, Mr C and guests supply techno and dance beats. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, adv £23 inc CD, £10 after 4am, mems £13, NUS £12.

Heroes Bastille Day Special Sebastien Leger, Yakine and Djebali supply techno, house and electronica. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-11am. £20, adv £15, mems £13, NUS £10.

Kompakt Michael Mayer, Reinhard Voigt, Kolsch, Blond:ish, Okinawa 69 and Matt Sawyer provide techno, house and electronica.

Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 10pm-7am. Adv £15.

Lasermagnetic Bastille Day Special Perseus Traxx, Tim Paris, Johnny Hiller and Neil Thornton supply electronic dance. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

8pm-3.30am. £8, adv £5.

Mooch Quenem, Natalie Coleman, Ed Jones and Nick Walters supply house, electro, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass. The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339).

10pm-4am. £10, concs £8.

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The Official Sunbeatz Ibiza Warm Up Party Micky Finn, DJ Hazard, Logan D, Majistrate, Darren Jay, RuffStuff, Trigga, Shabba D, Harry Shotta and Drumatics spin garage, drum ‘n’ bass and electro. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). 9pm-late, doors. £13.

Overcooked Records With Switch & Loefah Switch, Loefah, Last Japan, Peo De PItte, HeavyFeet, CRST, Birdee and Hint & Pedestrian supply dubstep and dance beats.

Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £13, adv £10.

Regenerate The resident DJs spin house, techno and electronica. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Supatronix The Freestylers, Warrior One, Jurassik, Reveal, Se7en Deadly Breaks, Final Conflict, Elite Force, Loops Of Fury, Peo De Pitte, Zodiac Cartel, Resistance and B-Roll spin dubstep, electro, jungle and drum ‘n’ bass across two rooms.

Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537).

11pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

SUNDAY 15 Beyond Afterhours DJs Steve Pitron, Mikey D, Alan K, Sharp Boys, Gonzalo Rivas, Paul Heron, HiFi Sean, Paul Christian, Ariel and Fat Tony spin house, electro and techno across three floors. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

6pm-1am. Adv £12.

Hi-Frequency Summer Slammer Chris Ruffstuff, Brad Clark, Skol and guests supply house and trance beats. Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613).

7.30pm-late. £10, adv £7.

Jaded Raymundo Rodriguez and guests provide house and techno. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

5pm-1am. £12, concs £8.

Kaiserdisco The DJ duo supplies house and electronic dance music.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Orange The Oli, Paul Martin and The Sharp Boys spin house in room one, while Gonzola Rivas, David Jiminez and Hi Fi Sean provide minimal techno and tech-house in room two.

Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 10pm-late. £12, £10 before midnight, w/flyer £5 before 1am.

S.L.A.G.S / CHILL-OUT Sundays Simon Le Vans, Andy Almighty and Sean Sirrs spin disco, electro and house, plus The D E Experience performs live.

Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222).

2pm-midnight. £8, £5 before 7.30pm.

WetYourSelf! Renato, Cormac and guests supply techno, house and electronica. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-6am. £10, NUS £7, adv £5.

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TICKETS TO RAZORLIGHT AT EPSOM The chart-topping, indie-rock band Razorlight will grace the stage at Epsom Downs Racecourse this summer when they hit the stage on Thursday, July 19 as the second act to play the Epsom live! summer series of music nights.

Formed in London back in 2002, lead singer Johnny Borrell and the band have gone on to sell four million albums, performing to sold-out arena tours, headlining festivals and appearing on the front covers of magazines from NME to Vogue.

Their debut album, Up All Night, reached number three in the UK Album Chart which included number

two UK Chart Single, Somewhere Elsee in June 2004. However, it was Razorlight’s 2006 single Americaa which turned the band into an international phenomenon, going straight to number one and securing two nominations to the BRIT Awards in 2007.

Epsom Downs Racecourse are offering five lucky winners a chance to win a pair of tickets to watch an evening of horse racing followed by the performance from Razorlight. The tickets will include a free racecard, £12 bet and a drink and wrap voucher.

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MUSICLISTINGS

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MONDAY 9 Marc Almond The former Soft Cell member performs pop and electro. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £19.50 & £27.50.

FRIDAY 13 Alejandro Escovedo And The Sensitive Boys The Texan singer-leads his roots-rock and Americana outfit. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £15.

BOOK NOW!

Kimya Dawson The American anti-folk singer-songwriter performs songs from the album Thunder Thighs. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £12.

The Enemy The Coventry-based band plays indie-rock from the album Streets In The Sky. Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £25.

Groove Warriors The Londonbased band plays funk and R‘n’B. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

Incubus Brandon Boyd leads his Los Angeles-based band in playing epic alternative rock in support of the album If Not Now, When?

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £29.50.

Carey Murdock, Abby Ahmad, Tom Copson Americana by the Nashville-based singer-songwriter.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £5.

Priceless London Wonderground: Melodica, Melody And Me, Bard The London-based folk and reggae-roots six-piece headlines with support from house band Bard, plus a special guest. The London Wonderground Spiegeltent, Jubilee Gardens, off Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). £10.50.

Jill Scott Soul and R‘n’B from the Grammy Award-winning American singer-songwriter.

Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £37.50.

TUESDAY 10 Faith No More Experimental rock from the American fivepiece fronted by Mike Patton.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £33.50.

I Killed The Prom Queen Metalcore band from Adelaide, South Australia. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £14.

Eric Johnson Rock from the American virtuoso guitarist and songwriter best known for the instrumental hit Cliffs Of Dover. Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX (0844 873 3433). Adv £30.

Municipal Waste Thrash metal by the band from Richmond, Virginia.

Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). Adv £13.50.

Carey Murdock The Nashvillebased singer-songwriter performs Americana and roots rock from the album Baby Don’t Look Down. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). Adv £6.50.

Jo Schornikow, Scott Rudd, Barbarossa The Australian singer-songwriter and member of The Shivers plays soulful folk, rock and pop. The Workshop, Old St, EC1V 9EY (020 7253 6787). £7, adv £5.

Sun, Aug 19. Koko. £22.50 Greg Dulli’s Cincinnati alt-rockers are back, 10 yers after they first split, to show why they’re one of the most underrated bands out there.

NW1 7JE

Mornington Crescent

Jill Scott Soul and R‘n’B from the Grammy Award-winning American singer-songwriter.

Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £37.50.

Yaaba Funk, Dai Price The Londonbased band plays Afrobeat and funk. Floridita, Wardour St, W1F 0TN (020 7314 4042). £10-£20.

WEDNESDAY 11 Cold Chisel Heavy rock by the Adelaide-formed veterans. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £35.

Dawes Los Angeles-based countryrock band. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). Adv £14.

Hit Factory Live Hit pop tunes from the Stock, Aitken and Waterman production team, that were popular in the 1980s and 1990s.

Featuring performances from Steps, Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, Banaanarma, Rick Astley and Dead Or Alive. Hyde Park, W2 2UH (0300 061 2000). £54.25.

The Irrepressibles, Noblesse Oblige Eccentric alt pop and electronica from the Londonbased ensemble. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £12.50.

Kast Off Kinks Former members of The Kinks team up to perform the band’s hits. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £10, adv £8.

Queen & Adam Lambert The veteran rock band perform their hit songs with singer 2009 American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100).

Also Thu & Sat. £70 & £75.

Sweet Billy Pilgrim Experimental rock from the London-based three-piece. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £9.

The Temper Trap The Australian quartet plays melodic indie-pop songs from their album The Temper Trap. Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £27.50.

koko.uk.com

Betty Wright The veteran singer performs soul, R‘n’B and gospel from the album Betty Wright: The Movie. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). Also Thu & Fri. £30.

THURSDAY 12 Baroness Indie-rock and metal quartet from America. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). Adv £10.

Bermondsey Joyriders, Urban Voodoo Machine Punky bluesrock by the London-based band.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £8, adv £6.

Daryl Hall, Natalie Duncan Pop and blue-eyed soul by one half of the successful duo, Hall & Oates. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £32.50.

Josephine, Elia And The Low Tears, Cellarscape Hip-hop and rock fusion singer from London.

Underbelly, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7837 4412). £7, adv £5.

Of Monsters And Men Folk and indie-pop band from Reykjavik. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £11.50.

Robert Plant The rock luminary, Grammy Award-winner and former Led Zeppelin singer performs rock with his band the Sensational Space Shifters.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £40-£45.

Spider John Koerner Blues from the American singer and guitarist.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £12.50.

Average White Band Soul and funk from the veteran outfit.

Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £30-£50.

Iron Cross Heavy rock band from Myanmar. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). Adv £35.

Olu Maintain, Cabo Snoop, Atumpan, May7ven, Vibe Squad Hip-hop and Afrobeat from the Nigerian singer. Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £25.

Faith ‘N’ Fury, Follow You Home, Shouting Signals Hard rock band from London.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8.

THE AFGHAN WHIGS

Assemblage 23, Cybercide, Das Fluff, Analogue Angel Electronica by the Seattle-based outfit. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £14.

Stefano Giorgini, Hollywood Tramp, The Edenites, The Shoreditch Surf Club Pop-rock by the Los Angeles-based singersongwriter. Underbelly, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7837 4412). £8, adv £6.

Hard Rock Calling 2012 Rock showcase featuring performances from Soundgarden, Iggy & The Stooges, The Mars Volta, Cold Chisel and Skindred on Friday. Saturday’s line-up includes Bruce Springsteen And The E St Band, Amy MacDonald, Lady Antebellum, Tom Morello and John Fogerty. While Paul Simon, Alison Krauss & Union Station, Big Country, Guillemots and Christina Perri take to the stage on Sunday. Hyde Park, W2 2UH (0844 847 2502). Fri £50, Sat £60, Sun £55, Sat & Sun £110.

Gordie MacKeeman & The Rhythm Boys Bluegrass and country by the band from Charlottetown, Canada. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £10.

Nina Nesbitt, Antonio Lulic, Kirsten Powell Indie-folk by the Edinburgh-based singer. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £7.

Sham 69 Jimmy Pursey reforms the veteran punk band to play their hits. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). £20.

Shag Nasty, Menace, Criminal Brainstorm, Lowd The veteran London-based outfit plays punk.

Hope And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £5.

Shrag, Orca Team, Joanna Gruesome Indie-pop band from Brighton and London Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). Adv £6.

This Is The Kit, Rough Fields, Ambrosia Contemporary folk by Kate Stables and her colleagues.

The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £8, adv £6.

Alex Metric House and electronica from the DJ and producer. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). £7.

SUNDAY 15

Dave Swarbrick Folk from the veteran singer-songwriter.

Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). £15.

Wu Legends Rap and hiphop collective made up of Wu-Tang Clan members Method Man, Ghostface Killah, Raekwon and GZA. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £27.50-£50.

Lloyd Yates, Thomas J Speight, Jasmine Kennedy The American singer-songwriter performs acoustic folk. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £6.

SATURDAY 14

Teebs, NosagThings, Eskmo Electro and dub from the Los Angeles-based musician.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £9, adv £14.50.

Acoustic Strawbs Folk and prog rock by Dave Cousins and colleagues. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £10.

Bobby Womack The American singer-songwriter and musician plays soul and R‘n’B in support of his album The Bravest Man In The Universe. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £22.50.

Arnocorps American punk and metal from the five-piece that performs songs featuring lyrics based on the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). Adv £10.

Neneh Cherry & The Thing Alt hip-hop and jazz from the Swedish singer-songwriter and the trio.

Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). £15.50.

Jon Oliva’s Pain, Max Pie, Never A Hero Prog metal by the Floridabased combo. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £18.

The Koolaid Electric Company, Bonfire Nights, Dark Bells, Dark Moon, Dead Rabbits, Lola Colt Psychedelic and shoegaze rock by the London-based band.

Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). £10.

The Mars Volta The American band plays prog rock in support of the album Noctourniquet.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £25.

Salim-Sulaiman The Indian brothers perform music from well-known Bollywood musicals.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £25-£70.

Tindersticks The group plays dark chamber pop and reflective alternative rock in support of the album The Something Rain. Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £25.

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Marcus Brigstocke The comedian and author on fixing society, the meaning of life, saving the planet, and why laughs come first INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

How’s the new Edinburgh show doing?

It’s called The Brig Society. If you pretend for a second that the big society idea proposal is more than just a veneer painted over an ideological mush, but instead imagine that it was a good idea and we took control of society and made it, and us, more accountable – what would we achieve? It veers from the mundane – why do people buy cheap plastic shit for a quid – to the renationalisation of the railways … It’s a nice catch-all, the ‘big society’, because we are being asked by the government to do ‘something about something’ without any specifics.

How has Edinburgh changed?

It is bigger than it ever was – the biggest arts fest in the whole world and it is right here. There is a fair amount of crap on, but there are also such remarkable, incredible shows. Comedians have become more and more high-profile in Edinburgh, there’s a lot about the big comics with new shows, but it’s good for new comics to get good at what they do, too.

Is it daunting taking a new show there?

Many times I have snuck off for a quiet cry after the first performance of a new show has gone well. I have always taken Edinburgh as a place to push yourself and do new things, and that is what it is about. All the best comedians invest the audience with the thought that if they weren’t there laughing, the comedian would never think of what they say, and that is the sort of comedy I like – comedy that feels as if it is being plucked out of the air.

Who is particularly good at that?

Everybody who is any good at it works at it, nobody does it naturally. Ross Noble and I used to share flats together, and I watched him grow into the comedian that he now is, saw him get more and more confident. The greatest trick that he has pulled off is making so many people think he hasn’t any material – he has loads, he just makes it look like he is making it up.

Your last show, God Collar, tackled some pretty big topics ...

That was the best show I have ever done. It sprang out of a conversation I had with Daniel Kitson about religion, saying I have all these

The king speaks things about religion written, but I don’t have a specific conclusion. He said the interesting thing about religion is it would be better to have no conclusion and instead ask some serious questions. I didn’t want the audience to be made up of some atheist rabble to be cheering it, though. This show will be interesting, too, in that I think some fairly extensive cuts need to be made to the way we spend our money in the UK, which is at odds with my liberal politics. But I know enough people who know a lot about economics who have explained it to me in such a way that I realised ‘we need to spend less money!’. It’s not a dialogue, it is a monologue … but I don’t expect everyone to agree.

You’re also doing Spamalot …

I have been touring with Spamalot for a year-and-a-half. I have time before and after Edinburgh to do it, it is such a pleasure, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do it again.

How does it differ from the previous version of the show?

It originally came to the West End as the Broadway show – very big, full of dancers – but it wasn’t very funny. This is a revue show and all of the emphasis is on the funniest way of doing it – the musical theatre services that aim!

When we do it people are absolutely helpless with laughter.

How does doing your own shows differ to the comedy circuit scene?

By the time I finished on the comedy circuit, there were too many gigs where my ideas were at odds with the clubs – I was playing Jongleurs talking about Euro politics! I like something with an argument behind it.

Is that how you became involved with environmental campaigning?

That happened a few years ago, when Channel 4 Four showed that doc The Great Global Warming Swindle. I ended up being very involved: I did a few research trips to the Arctic, to see first hand, and became involved with various climate activists, who are almost as frustrating as the deniers! There are full-on eco-warriors who have no idea how to sell a set of ideas. I have tried, as a comedian, to sell it to audiences, but now, just a mention of climate change and their eyes roll back in their head – ‘last year’s news’. More than 97 per cent of climate change scientists believe it’s happening and that it’s manmade. But Johnny Vaughan and David Bellamy don’t think it is happening and they’re on the TV, so they must know what they are talking about!

Spamalot. July 25-Sept 9. £15+ Harold Pinter Theatre, SW1Y 4DN atgtickets.com Piccadilly Circus. The Brig Society. Aug 2-25. £12.50+ Edinburgh Festival Fringe edfringe.com

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It’s the end of the world as we know it and we feel like moping

SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Steve Carell, Keira Knightley | 15 | 101mins | Released July 13

DETACHMENT FILM STARRING: Adrien Brody, Christina Hendricks, James Caan | 15 | 97mins

The premise is one of those ‘hero teacher inspires troubled teens’ movies; the approach, though, is serious and observational, casting its eyes over not just the children, but the teachers and adults in the education system. It’s the third from American History X helmer Tony Kaye, and stars Oscar winner Adrien Brody, atop an ensemble cast, as the campaigning teacher.

On general release from July 13

28

The opening to Lorene Scafaria’s apocalyptic finding-meaning-in-life comedydrama sets the stage: upon hearing on the car radio that the government has failed to prevent the massive asteroid Mathilda from destroying earth, the wife of Steve Carell’s Dodge, sitting adjacent to him, opens the car door and takes off, fleeing a relationship she should have abandoned long ago.

Mixing the laughs and quirks with the weightier moments, the balance here is skewed towards the latter – less comedy, more drama – as loner Dodge sets off on a cross-country trek to find his high school sweetheart (the ‘first one that got away’). Keira Knightley’s free-spirited neighbour, Penny, tags along as part of a deal to aid each other’s final wishes to reunite with loved ones.

Carell can play this role in his sleep, but that doesn’t make him any less engaging to watch – a bag of repressed emotions, sincerity and warmth, he’s the heart of the film. Knightley goes for cutesy-kooky, but never fully sells this damaged girl with a heart. While the two share chemistry, it is Scafaria’s script that stars. Throwing familial strife, a roster of unpredictable supporting characters and some genuine surprises in with the refreshingly downbeat ending, it’s closer to indie-flick sensibility than the gigglesome rom-com-ish look would have you believe. And all the better for it.

GOOD FOR: Fans of Melancholia who wondered how it would work with Steve Carell in it

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GIVE US A

EALING COMEDY FESTIVAL

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Five nights in west London see some of this year’s top names take to the stage – there’s headline shows from the likes of Essex voicehearer Terry Alderton, southern stand-up Rich Hall, the oddball Milton Jones and half Aussie/ half Brit Mark Little. With more than 25 acts, this fest is sure to bring the funny for everyone.

Ha ha!

Walpole Park W5 5EQ. July 13, 14, 18-20. 6.30pm. £18.50+ Ealing Broadway ealing.gov.uk

BOB HOPE WORLD OF LAUGHTER EXHIBITION

THE DRAWER BOY

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Mr Hope was born in south London and went on to become one of the most beloved comedians of all time, who made a name for himself in film and TV and hosted no fewer than 199 USO Shows for the US Armed Forces. His life and career is remembered here through vintage photos, videos, and assorted collected artefacts.

Back in 1972, a group of actors from Toronto visited the farmland communities of Ontario in search of material for a devised work – The Farm Play – based on their experiences. Canadian playwright Michael Healey’s touching 1999 three hander pays tribute to those who took part, and is a beautifully played production. LK

Greenwich Heritage Centre SE18 4DX. July 13-Oct 28. Free Arsenal greenwichheritage.org

Finborough Finborough Road, SW10 9ED. Until July 14. £12+ Earl’s Court finboroughtheatre.co.uk

Woolwich

VINTZ FLUKE What’s your latest show all about? Letting loose and enjoying one of the funniest nights in London.

There are two great stand-ups, Rob Collins and Rudi Lickwood, and we’re going to see how five-man improv group Noise Next Door can fit on that stage.

Photos: Johan Persson

Strangest gig you’ve done? A toss up between a funeral in Texas and a fetish ball in Brighton. Some places you don’t expect comedy to go down well, but it finds a way through.

ELECTRICK CHILDREN

BIRTHDAY

FILM

THEATRE

Julia Garner’s Mormon girl hears a rock tape (the music can be used for evil, she is warned) and has a revelatory experience, believing herself to have conceived a child at God’s behest through the cassette, before then fleeing her prohibitive life for Las Vegas to track down the voice that sang to her. A subtle, but finely judged, US indie from first-time filmmaker Rebecca Thomas.

In a neat bit of role reversal, Joe Penhall’s highly amusing new play sees Ed heavily pregnant and about to deliver a full-term baby while his highearning wife Lisa looks on. If you’ve ever given birth or held the hand of someone in the final stages of labour, you’ll recognise this ‘natural’ process’s indignities. LK

On general release from July 13

Royal Court Theatre SW1W 8AS. Until Aug 4. £10+ Square royalcourttheatre.com

Sloane

Funniest thing you have seen this week? During summer solstice at Stonehenge, the police were checking people on entry for narcotics. While being frisked by the Bill, my mate Miles took the time to pose for a picture of the pat down, sniffer dogs and all, while holding up a container of liquid LSD for the camera. I guess it’s true that the best place to hide something is in the wide open, because they didn’t notice the acid and let him on through. There were countless funny moments from then on, I just don’t know which were real!

Bedroom Bar Comedy Cafe 68 Rivington Street, EC2A 3AY. July 11. 6pm. Free Old Street

comedycafe.co.uk

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Photos: © 2006 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation and Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. © 1964 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation.

Gruff and surly: Craig offers a new take on the iconic Bond

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LONDONFOCUS

Styling a screen legend A new exhibition lifts the lid on the craftsmanship and creativity behind the design and appeal of Britain's secret agent 007 WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

Photos: © 2006 Danjaq LLC and United Artists Corporation and Columbia Pictures Industries Inc © 1964 Danjaq LLC and United Artists Corporation

James Bond turns 50 this year, the world’s most famous (cinematic) secret agent still looking pretty sharp for a middle-aged bloke. And, half a century on, audiences still hold a special place in their hearts for 007 (and his women).

The enduring appeal is part sexy style, part reinvention.

Ever since Ursula Andress emerged from the surf in a striking white bikini in the ’62 franchise starter, Dr No, the Bond story has captured the public’s attention. From the swinging Sixties and conspiracy-laden Cold War Seventies to Eighties extravagances and reinvention in the Nineties and Noughties, the films have remained sharp and current. Not even newbie Jason Bourne has been able to come close to matching the franchise’s onscreen charisma.

This cinematic majesty is no fluke, however. No matter how suave the actor playing 007 has been, Bond would be nothing were it not for his dapper dress sense and the stylised gadgets Q tools him up with. As times have changed, fashions have too. Forget the actors for a minute; it has fallen to the bods behind the scenes to ensure Bond stays in his prized place ahead of the rest. Years of tireless behindthe-scenes planning and design have gone into the 23 films, the latest of which, Skyfall, is due out this October.

In honour of all this hard graft, an exhibition, Designing 007: Fifty Years Of Bond Style, is currently being showcased at the Barbican in London.

“It’s a retrospective,” co-curator Bronwyn Cosgrave says.

“Because, designing James Bond, from the get-go, the films have always been ahead of contemporary. This is the only Eon production where James Bond is a supporting character.

“The sets, costumes and gadgets are now considered as iconic as the man himself. And that is what we hope to illuminate.”

Co-curator and Oscar-winning costume designer Lindy Hemming points out that Bond has become more international with time. “When [the films started] they were an English phenomenon, which spread across the world so it made sense to dress Bond in an English wardrobe,“ she says.

“But tailoring has changed immeasurably, and the suits that people wear have changed, so it would be strange if you didn’t let Bond change with the times.”

From those bespoke outfits and the eye-catching wardrobe of the numerous Bond babes to Scaramanga’s penfor-a-barrel golden gun and the famous Aston Martin, Bond’s

styles, fashions and iconic invention is the focus here.

There’s Oddjob’s deadly decapitating bowler hat and the bikini Halle Berry’s Jinx Johnson wore in a homage to Andress in 2002’s Die Another Day. Latest Bond Daniel Craig’s similarly lusted-after blue trunks are also among the wardrobe and costume offerings.

Taking an immersive audio-visual approach, there are props aplenty, as well as commentaries, HD screens with various behind the scenes anecdotes, and sketches, storyboards, and props from the movies. Terri Hatcher’s £140,000 diamond necklace from Brosnan era Tomorrow Never Dies, even features in this painstaking procession “It’s about the people underpinning the film process,“ Barbican managing director Nick Kenyon says. “This show is a fitting tribute to the artists, craftsmen, technicians and the cast, too, who make these movies possible.”

DESIGNING 007: FIFTY YEARS OF BOND STYLE REVIEW ››

Connery's Bond was the first and, for many, best TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise: The Spy Who Loved Me; Halle Berry in Die Another Day; Ken Adams art; Christopher Lee's Scaramanga

DESIGNING 007: FIFTY YEARS OF BOND STYLE Exhibition review

Bond Films have always carried a futuristic air, a spy-fi sensibility with OTT action and the designs in this extremely thorough exhibition reflect this. Ken Adams’ famous cavernous set designs (see above), imbued the series with a kitsch forward-looking view of how the yet-to-be might look (an aspect mocked in the Austin Powers movies).

No more keenly is Bond’s ahead-of-the-curve’ sensibility felt than in his gadgets, from the downright escapist Lotus Esprit submarine (models here only, sadly, and little ones at that), to the far more grounded (literally) knife-shoe.

The exhibition opens with the Gold Room, a shining den that features Auric Goldfinger’s gilded jacket and the couldonly-be-named-thus-in-a-Bond-movie Pussy Galore and her incredible waistcoat from Goldfinger.

These cinematic treasures sit alongside sketches and designs from that film’s Fort Knox raid, and the room itself is lined by a series of prison-style bars behind which gold bars delicately sit (you can even buy your own from the Bond gift shop if you are so inclined).

In the centre, a half-naked lady lies, covered head to toe in gold paint in tribute to the third, and series-levitating, Bond movie’s deadly despatch of a Bond babe.

There’s a dramatic selection of the series’ wardrobe choices, from Dr No’s Sylvia French dress to the Egyptian

Golden death: iconic moments fill the exhibition 32

attire of Octopussy, and a ‘tuxedo-lair’ centrepiece staging of the poker scene from Casino Royale (thankfully minus any Tussauds-esque Daniel Craig waxworks).

Viewers are also given an expansive look at the franchise’s villains, including Christopher Walken and Grace Jones’ Max

“

An ahead-of-the-curve sensibility is prominent

”

Zorin and May Day from A View To A Kill, the stupendously named Xenia Onatopp and her skintight leather getup from 1995’s GoldenEye (named after Bond scribe’s Ian Fleming’s Jamaican home), and the Star Wars-influenced Moonraker’s Drax, the adversary truly set on world domination. There’s and even a glass case with moulds of the teeth the Bond-foeturned-ally Jaws made famous.

While the attention to detail astounds, and the presence of real props (not replicas) generates a sense of behind-thescenes magic, the The Ice Room disappoints – its focus on Bond’s snow-capped action escapades is a welcome reminder of the series’ stunt stand-outs, but it’s based primarily around Die Another Day, quite simply Bond's lowest point and a film we could best do without being reminded.

James Bond remains a superb British icon and this exhibition honours the man in a specific and studied manner, with a depth and detail that will impress casual fans and MI6 aficionados alike. With a global tour lined up after the exhibition ends in September and October’s Skyfall, starring Craig alongside Javier Badem, Naomie Harris and Berenice Marlohe, this showcase remains a fantastic addition to the ’best of British’ theme categorising the nation in 2012. ❚ Designing 007: Fifty Years of Bond Style. July 6 - Sept 5. £12 Barbican Centre, EC2Y 8DS barbican.org.uk Barbican

Photos: © 1977 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation. ; ©2002 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation.; © 1967 Danjaq, LLC & United Artists Corporation.; ©1974 Danjaq, LLC and United Artists Corporation.; Getty

Xxxxxx

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VOTE NOW &

WIN Travelled in 2012?

Want to win an iPad? Register your vote now The 2012 Golden Backpack Awards are taking place on October 25. Your vote counts! Go online and register your votes and you could win yourself an iPad.

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SPARETIME

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Dead Island: Game Of The Year Edition Xbox 360

Escape from a holiday island gone mad with zombies. £14.95 zavvi.com

CD

The Aussie dance duo reinterpret some of John’s original recordings for this unique composition. £8.00 amazon.co.uk

Harvest Moon: The Tale Of Two Towns Nintendo 3DS

Nicki Minaj: Ghetto Barbie

Take the role of a farmer torn between two feuding factions. £24.95 thehut.com

CD

A compilation of unreleased tracks from the crafty rapper. £9.00 amazon.co.uk

Facewatch app

Help police catch a suspected criminal by identifying faces captured on CCTV. Just enter your postcode.

Free facewatch.co.uk/cms/

Asa Larsson: The Black Path Book

A grisly torture-murder from the queen of Swedish crime writing. £13.44 overstock.com

Spotify for BlackBerry App

Got a BB? Want music at your fingertips? Get this app!

Free

Joseph Mitchell: Up In The Old Hotel Book

appworld.blackberry.com

The complete collection of urbane masterpieces from the former New Yorker journalist. £8.30 amazon.co.uk

Bottle opener/ iPhone case Gadget

An iPhone case with a builtin bottle opener – plus an app to track your drinking. £19.99 avanquest.co.uk

Trishna DVD

Freida Pinto stars in this beautiful tale of love and tragedy in Rajasthan. £11.99 play.com

Aqua iPad Case Gadget

Keep your gadget wizardry safe from sand and water. £34.99 gizoo.co.uk

Contraband DVD

Mark Wahlberg takes the lead role in this pacy smuggling thriller, set in New Orleans. £13.95 base.com

App of the Week Street Art London iPhone app

If you’ve ever stumbled past an intriguing piece of urban art in London and wondered what it is, this is your handy reference. £2.99 itunes.apple.com

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Bamboo print trousers Team with heels and a white blouse for a very cool look. next.co.uk

Amy Childs Elizabeth dress Slinky and form-fitting.

This is for women who mean business.

Men’s beige chinos With a fun quirky turn-up detail and in 100 per cent cotton, so no sweaty legs.

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MARKETWATCH STYLE PILOT There’s no longer an excuse to wear a lumberjack shirt with Crocs anywhere – not even at home. Men who don’t have any style sense, or a woman to dress them, now have a saviour.

The Style Pilot solves clueless men’s fashion dilemmas in the privacy of their own home.

Pilot calculates every man’s unique ‘Style DNA’ when they visit the site to enter in their body shape, complexion and hair colour. The site then spits out suitable suggestions, from jeans and jackets to cummerbunds and coat tails, to buy from online retailers.

And, while Pilot works around every bloke’s personal style by giving the option of a ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ button, it won’t always agree, continually encouraging a smarter look.

Every occasion is covered, from ‘relaxing at home’ to ‘black-tie on a budget’, and the site even takes into account a personal preference for brands, colours and fabrics. So, don’t keep throwing on the closest clothes balled up on the floor – get yourself a suave new style.

Fan & rose necklace Beautiful and understated, makes for a perfect accessory.

Summer in the office

All conditions watch A handsome timepiece to top off your new summer look.

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White elbow patch shirt Set yourself apart from the suit brigade with the chambray elbow detail.

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Vintage inspired doctors bag Structured for sophistication and in a shade of lovely summer orange.

Bow slingback shoes Nude heels are the new little black dress. debenhams.com

chinadollboutique.com

stylepilot.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

GOODGYM “Enjoy your scouts session,” my boyfriend says, waving me off as I head to my gym session with a difference. During the lowdown on my evening venture, his mind races back a good, ahem, 30 years, to when he wore a neckerchief and a woggle and did good deeds for pensioners. He wasn’t far off.

Goodgym is a throwback to those community-minded days, but rather than khaki-clad boys, it’s fit and physical Londoners who run together to a specific destination and carry out a manual task that benefits the community.

This time, we break into a pacy 4km run from Reebok Gym in Canary Wharf, eastward along a route of flyovers and dual carriageways (with views of Olympic Park) to New Shoots allotment, off the Victoria Dock Road. We’ve barely arrived and already we’re tugging at tangles of weedy undergrowth, but within 40 minutes we’re hurtling off again, scratches and nettle pricks to show for our graft.

Failed attempts at a scenic route extend the run to a lung-busting 7km via, rather unexpectedly, a hotel staircase. The runs aren’t usually so long nor the route sterile, but they’ll always be a good deed.

And an option for solo runs, too.

Highly recommended. Free, or a £20 donation for a CRB check and shirt.

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Get covered The last thing you want on your travels is a huge medical bill. TNT explains how to avoid disaster WORDS CAROL DRIVER

Travelling can be an expensive hobby, so cutting costs and finding bargains are usually at the fore of the adventurous mind.

One obvious temptation is to skip buying travel insurance, saving a few hundred pounds for protection against actualities that may never happen.

But that may prove to be even more costly. The Foreign Office travel advice pages make clear that travellers shouldn’t risk going abroad without cover. As further warning, it includes potential emergency costs for medical treatment – £35-£45,000 to be returned to the UK from the US’s east coast; and £12-£16,000 from the Canary Islands. Not the sort of loose change carried around in the back pocket.

Ben MacFarlane, author of Holiday SOS and former full-time repatriation doctor, says medical cover is vital.

“If you don’t have travel insurance, you’re going to have to pay for a doctor or a nurse to come out to you,” he explains. “Another good thing about travel insurance is you get a helpline with English-speaking people.

“You might find yourself alone, in a hospital where English isn’t the first

language. Having that connection to home gives you people who are on your side.”

But with so many policies vying for our attention, how do you choose the best? The key is to research and shop around. Often the mega-cheap deals are too good to be true, and won’t give you enough protection.

Check the small print. Make sure you’re covered for things that could disrupt your journey, such as flight cancellations and strikes. And ensure the activities you’ll be doing are included – if you’re off jet-skiing or scuba diving, make sure your company will pay out in the eventually of an accident.

Cath Millman, 27, a journalist living in London, was travelling with a friend from Gatwick to Dubrovnik a couple of years ago when the flight was cancelled.

“We were only going for a week, so we booked the only seats left that day, which were first class. They cost £600 – about twice as much as our return flights,” she says.

“We weren’t covered by our basic insurance – it was a relatively short plane ride to a well-trodden tourist destination, so we just didn’t think we’d need very comprehensive insurance.”

goodgym.org

Don’t go diving without insurance 36

Does your policy include adventure activities?

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Don’t get stuck: make sure you’re covered for flight cancellations

WHAT’S NEW

Lauren’s Way Wash Off Glow So you can tan and go £15.95 debenhams.com

As well as the small print, check the company’s alcohol rules – more firms are taking a tough stance towards booze. Many policies are void should a claim arise from excessive alcohol or drug intake. But some firms are taking an even stricter view.

MacFarlane says: “If you had a moped accident, but were found to have had a beer at lunchtime, you might not be covered.

Likewise, if it says you must wear a helmet when on a moped, and have an accident without one, it might not pay out.

“Even if it’s unrelated to the incident, travel insurance policies might not pay, so be really careful. Say you were involved in a bus accident, but had taken drugs or been drinking and the hospital checked this, you might not be covered.

“I don’t want to be a killjoy, or for people to worry too much, but it’s something they need to be aware of as it can be tough.”

According to a survey by Santander, we

are more likely to take risks with drinking when we are on holiday. So, for example, one in four people have been skiing the day after a big night out, and 17 per cent while under the influence from lunchtime boozing.

London web editor Oli Jones, 25, agrees.

He was at the Benicassim festival in Valencia, Spain, when he decided to try rock climbing.

“I had been drinking and was showing off to a girl and climbed up an outcrop of rock, but my foot slipped and fell down between two rocks – my whole leg disappeared,” he says. “I managed to pull it out, but it was cut to shreds. There was a six-inch gash on my foot and there was blood everywhere.

“I ended up in hospital, had 18 stitches and had to pay about £500 NEXT WEEK because I didn’t have insurance. It was a Get fit during your lunch break phone call my dad didn’t appreciate.”

Milk by Michael Klim Face Moisturiser Swim in it £19.45 boots.com

Sanctuary Youth Boosting Facial For Miranda Kerr skin £17.35 boots.com

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

TOP TREATMENT: COLOURED HAIR The singers Pink and Katy Perry have been in on this movement for some time, but now the trend for brightly coloured hair is bigger than ever. There’s no one style either, so the creative license is yours. The at-home trick is to apply bold eye shadow on to the hair and fix it with hairspray. Or, you can go to the pros. Shaded locks are a specialty of Bleach salon, which does spray stencilling (£20), temporary colours on light hair (£55) and dip-dyeing (£120).

Katy: feeling blue

420 Kingsland Road, E8 4AA

bleachlondon.co.uk

Dalston Junction

Moosehead Dirty Boy Hair & Body Wash Grime to sublime £2.49 sainsburys.co.uk

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Up-to-date? Make sure your visa is in order before you enter Britain

Get the all-clear Thousands of Londoners will be affected by far-reaching changes to the UK visa system. Check you’re not one of them WORDS REBECCA KENT The UK Home Office is making it more difficult for non-EU citizens to settle in the UK with a raft of changes designed to curb immigration. For some, adjustments to the Family Migration Route will put the mockers on love relations, and your bank balance will have to be plumper than before. Besides being slightly more out of pocket, the changes will have a limited effect on the many Aussies and Kiwis who are working in the capital via the Youth Mobility Scheme, or with a British passport, but it’s still a good idea to swot up.

These updates come on the back of reforms introduced in April 2011.

To refresh, the key ones included: Tier 2 Skilled migrants losing the right to work in Britain if they are earning less 38

than £35,000 a year (unless they have a PhD or work in a shortage occupation); releasing only 1000 high-value Tier 1 Visas for entrepreneurs, investors, sports stars and scientists and the like; the abolition of the Tier 1 Post Study Work Visa that allowed graduates to work in the UK for two years following graduation; the cost of applying for Indefinite Leave to Remain by post raised to £972; and the cost of applying for British citizenship raised to £836.

The latest changes are as follows:

Heart on hold If you are a non-Brit or not from the European Economic Area (EEA) getting it on long-term with a Brit who earns less than £18,600, you might have to rethink your relationship. The threshold

has increased from £5795. If you’ve got a child, your British partner needs to earn £22,400, increasing by £2400 with every other sprog.

Guy Taylor, of the Joint Council for the Welfare of Immigrants, believes the change is highly discriminatory. The council is currently lobbying parliament to have the laws relaxed.

“Young people, women, disabled and older people are going to be disproportionately affected by this rule,” Taylor says. “UK citizens’ rights to love who they choose to love is being undermined.”

According to The Migration Observatory, 29 per cent of Londoners will not qualify to bring a loved one to the UK due to the rule, and 61 per cent of women will not qualify.

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB KATHARINE HIRST CAREER Joint MD DropGifts UK AGE 27 LIVES Notting Hill FROM America

[Caption]

JUST A LITTLE BRIT MORE The Life In the United Kingdom test, introduced in 2005 and compulsory for those applying for British citizenship and settlement to sit, will be overhauled. The revised handbook excises sections heavy on the practicalities of daily living in favour of information on cultural figures like Byron, the Duke of Wellington and Shakespeare.

Not only that, applicants will have to know the first verse of God Save The Queen. The test takes 45 minutes and can be sat at 60 test centres around the country at a cost of £50 to sit. For information, see

cost you more. Tier 2 (Sponsored), plus Another change to the Tier 5 (Youth Mobility Family Migration Route Scheme) migrants will dictates a minimum now need to show probationary period funds of £900, rather of five years, rather than £800 before than two years, before getting the all-clear, settlement is granted and applicants for Tier to the non-EEA partner 1 visas will now need of a British citizen. to show £3100 for This is to “test the entry clearance (was genuineness of the £2800) or £900 (instead relationship”, and is of £800) to apply for also subject to the leave to remain. And partner passing the no shifty bank transfers, ‘Life In The UK test’ either; the dosh has (see box), and an ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk to have been sitting English language test, in your account for at intermediate, rather at least 90 days. than beginner level.

John Dunn, of 1st Contact (1stcontact.com), says the changes are No cheating a real blow. “It is sad to see the After October 12, 2012, if you overstay youth unable to take advantage of any visa by more than 28 days, you experiencing life in the UK like so many will have to spend at least 12 months before them could,” he says. outside the UK before you get clearance “The wider implications are that to reapply. So, if you have an Ancestral fewer people will qualify, due to the Visa and want to apply for Indefinite high-maintenance requirements, Leave to Remain, you’ve got another four- and those that do year wait before qualifying, if you cheat. qualify have less NEXT WEEK room for error Greater costs once they are on Child’s play: If you plan to stay, or arrive in the UK a visa to remain work as a nanny on a student or working visa, it’ll now in the UK.”

Stop, in the name of love

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock; TNT

How will the changes affect you?

How did you get into your line of work?

I started off in research at Accenture, writing about globalisation and technology, then worked on a mobile project. I got completely hooked on how mobile and social networks are changing the way people interact and shop, and so when I heard about the opportunity to co-run DropGifts – sending presents to friends via Facebook – I jumped at the chance.

What do you do day-to-day?

Everything from pitching to retailers to dreaming up PR ideas.

What’s the best part of your job?

It’s knowing every single present sent in the UK through DropGifts is down to our team.

What’s the most challenging part?

Having to decide which ideas to pursue now, and which others – often great – ideas, must wait ‘til later. dropgifts.co.uk

HOW TO... KNOW THE TIME TO QUIT YOUR JOB The average person will have seven to 10 jobs in their lifetime.

Know when it’s time to move on to the next one.

• Understand it is not the norm

when your job takes over your life. Employers should provide a work-life balance. If it’s not there, address it or move on.

• An unhealthy hatred for your

boss is unlikely to change. Save yourself the heartache.

• Consider having no work to do as a warning flag. You’ll be the first out when cuts come in.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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tntjobs.co.uk SKI JOBS FRANCE www.skijobsfrance.com.au

JOB OF THE WEEK: Ski Jobs in France Location: French Alps Salary: Competitive Package

Ski Jobs France supports travellers to organise a working holiday in France.

Guaranteed job or your money back.

Ski jobs available in hotels, bars, restaurants, chalets, airport transfers & ski shops.

Dec to May. French speaking not essential, but helps. Assistance applying for French visa for Aussies & Kiwis. Escape the grey British winter.

T: 07824 68 1228

www.skijobsfrance.com.au | info@skijobsfrance.com.au

PITMAN’S PEOPLE T: 020 7749 0605 www.pitmanspeople.com We are an event staffing company, who supply a vast range of staff to events all around the UK.

LIVING ASSISTANT / CARER I am a disabled woman living with my Husband, Father & Labrador dog, by assisting with my Personal, Social & Domestic needs you will enable me to lead an individual, independent & active life in my own home & my community

MR TOPPERS T: 020 7734 3831 / 020 7434 4088 Busy Central London Salon

JOB OF THE WEEK: Professional SIA Supervisors Wanted Location: London Salary: Starting £9.50ph for SIA, £10.50ph Supervisors Looking for experienced security personnel, with traffic management experience, ability to read maps, clear communicators, able to listen and act out instructions and manage a small team of staff Hettie Tetteh | eventstaffhr@pitmanspeople.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Independent living Assistant/ Carer Location: Greenwich SE London Salary: £213 pw (30 hrs) Open to female applicants only as amongst other tasks you will help with personal Care. You must like Dogs & be flexible, reliable, trustworthy, punctual, friendly, outgoing and able to take instruction. Experience not essential.

Own transport desirable. rebekah.brown@greenwich.gov.uk | 020 8921 2112 | Quote Ref DPTL01

JOB OF THE WEEK: Hair Cutters & Hair Stylists Location: London Salary: £300-500 p/w Mr. Toppers central London salons require top hair cutters and hair stylist.

Must be fully experienced and speak English. £300-500 p/w immediate start.

To apply call Lucy 07787 807782

LITTLE ACRE B&B T: 01844 281423 www.little-acre.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Great Summer Job Location: Near Oxford Salary: On Request

A small bed and breakfast in rural Oxfordshire.

Enthusiastic person for temporary position required for 8 – lO weeks maybe longer.

Some organising needed to assist with car boot sales, cleaning, grass cutting and other general duties. Lots of variety. Ideal for backpacker. Live-in situation. Nr. Oxford.

.

Julia | Ol844 281 423 | Mobile 07798 625252 | Julia@little-acre.co.uk

ANDERSPLUS HORTICULTURE

JOB OF THE WEEK: Production Manager & Despatch Manager Location: Uxbridge, London Salary: 24 - 35k doe

T: 020 7793 7825 www.andersplus.com Andersplus is a specialist recruitment agency, supplying permanent and temporary staff to the horticultural and landscaping industry.

tntjobs.co.uk TNT_1506_JOTW_DPS.indd 40

Production Manager and Despatch Manager to work in award winning nursery.

Will require horticultural qualifications and experience in these types of roles.

Andrea Lane | andrea@andersplus.com

JOBS 6/7/12 15:28:26

tntjobs.co.uk IPG

JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, South Africa, NZ, Canada Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £10,000 by end of Summer

T: 07716 376 408 www.ipgvip.com IPG is an international promotions company with over a decade of experience marketing leisure events. We have established our credentials as the world’s largest Paintball promotions agency by opening over 20 offices worldwide.

We’re looking for fun, bubbly, confident, self-motivated people. You can work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise of 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Enjoy trips away to Vegas, Ibiza, Pamplona and free drinks every Friday night.

CHEZ BRUCE

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef de Partie Location: Wandsworth Common SW17

www.chezbruce.co.uk Multi award winning, Michelin starred restaurant (part of the small group which includes Michelin starred establishments La Trompette and The Glasshouse).

SILVERBACK EVENTS T: 0844 5617939 07595 021939 www.silverbackuk.com Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

07716 376 408

Chez Bruce is recruiting its kitchen brigade. We are looking for a CHEF DE PARTIE. The successful candidate would work 4 days per week. This is a rare opportunity to join a team of like-minded professionals with excellent working conditions.

Experience is essential.

Please send CV to: mattchristmas@chezbruce.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner. jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

T: 01865 881885 www.ricospizzashack.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Pizza Chef / Operator Location: Between Oxford and Witney in Oxfordshire Salary: POA

We are a new concept in UK street trading and pride ourselves in being the best.

Love pizzas, think Rico’s.

Relocate to Oxford and be part of the new wave of innovative street traders.

Pizza chef/operator required, all training provided. UK driving licence or equivalent a must and be able to legally work in the UK.

RICO’S PIZZA SHACK

Hugo Cumming or Erik Muller | 01865 881885 | info@ricospizzashack.com

GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

ANDERSPLUS HORTICULTURE T: 020 7793 7825 www.andersplus.com Andersplus is a specialist recruitment agency, supplying permanent and temporary staff to the horticultural and landscaping industry.

JOBS TNT_1506_JOTW_DPS.indd 41

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew.

You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude.

CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Seasonal Landscaping Staff Location: Central London Salary: £6.50 - £12.00 variable Landscaping staff required for seasonal assignments across London.

You should enjoy the outdoors, have a solid work ethic and be reliable.

Experience preferred but we welcome those with a desire to learn & work hard.

Sarah Ronan | sarah@andersplus.com

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

6/7/12 15:28:30

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HOW YOU SPEND IT!

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TRAVEL LIGHT Take a travel spree without the heavy fee, with up to half-price on Eurostar breaks to eight cities, including Lille, Paris, Bruges and Brussels.

The offer includes return travel, three nights’ bed and breakfast and local rail connections from £139 if you book before August 31. aagetaways.co.uk

few days, because then the novelty would have worn off and I would have seen so many different things and know what I really want.

MANDY SOHANEY, 20 JOB Intern at CBS FROM Texas, USA LIVES South Bank How do you budget?

I just try not to spend a lot.

When I go to the store and see something that I want,

Photos: Getty

which is usually everything, I summon all of my willpower and walk away.

Any money-saving tips for when you first arrive? I told myself I couldn’t buy any sort of souvenir until my last

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Everything. I like to go shopping, but I have a lot of clothes already. If it is not food, then it is probably a non-essential.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Delivering the costs Beyonce and Jay-Z renovated an entire hospital wing for the January birth of their baby Blue at a cost of US$1.3m (£830,000). It gives new meaning to birth pains

RICH FOOD, CHEAP PRICES There is no reason to pay for full-price meals when you’ve got restaurants like Chez Gerard in Bishopsgate doling out deals, such as the whopping 50 per cent it’s offering now. To snap up the deal, log on and print a voucher. It applies to the a la carte menu until Aug 1.

❚ Jessica Simpson spent US$2800 (£1791) this year on a private birthing suite for the arrival of her daughter Maxwell Drew, but security cost her even more – a cool $50,000 (£32,000). ❚ The Beckhams leased

chezgerard.co.uk NEWQUAY /62 LA TOMATINA /84

Last big blow-out?

My trip to Paris. I tried to cut back by taking the Megabus instead of taking the train, but getting there, staying there and eating there all added up.

‘This is going to hurt’

a US$27m (£17m) Malibu mansion last year for the purpose of ‘quality family time’ just after the birth of new daughter, Harper Seven.

❚ Jennifer Lopez splashed more than US$1.4m (£90,000) for her twins’ birth in 2007, with more than $300,000 (£200,000) spent on private doctors and nurses alone. ❚ Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes shelled out $1.3m (£800,000) in 2006 to prepare for the birth of their daughter Suri, which was shrouded in silence, under the stars’ instructions.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

0870-898 8996 tntforex.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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HOME

STYLE

Green living

.99

£45

Quilt cover and pillowcases Work the dotty look on your bed ikea.com

Acton, W3 WORDS REBECCA KENT

Leafy: Acton Park

00

£4.

Aussies and Kiwis have been gravitating toward this rather large swathe of west London for years, but other cultural communities have also cottoned on, making this leafy pocket not just a lovely, but also a lively, place to call home.

Wooden ring toss game Master the art of hoopla tigerstores.co.uk

.50

£21

Why Acton?

Criss-crossed with wide leafy streets, and long considered one of the capital’s heartlands for antipodeans, Acton is far enough away from the extreme activity of large urban centres, yet close enough to hubs such as Ealing and Shepherd’s Bush to be convenient. It straddles the boroughs of Ealing, Hammersmith and Fulham, plus Hounslow, and has more railway stations than any other area in London.

office, so with the other communities, you get an idea of the diversity.”

Where to hang out There are a smattering of decent pubs, including the 17th-century George And Dragon on High Street (a section of uberbustling Uxbridge Road), with its high ceilings, art nouveau statues and decent food.

Station House is another popular drinking hole adjacent to Acton Central station. On a sunny day, the beer garden gets packed out with punters (thestationhousew3.com).

For some excitement in your life, knock over a few pins (and beers) at Tenpin bowling alley in Park Royal (tenpin.co.uk), or kick around at Acton or Gunnersbury parks.

Also, there’s a market in the Acton

The people Owl bookends Keep your novels tidy, you wise old things driftliving.co.uk

.00

£14

Sprillow With mini springs inside, so it always stays in shape tesco.com

44

Acton is home to a wide cross-section of nationalities, including those from Down Under, who pack into the sharehouses of converted Victorian terraces and flats.

Jessica Hector, of Bushells estate agent, Hammersmith, (bushells.com), says: “Small families and young professionals love Acton.

They just get so much more value for their money in terms of bigger properties and larger bedrooms.”

Acton’s population is becoming increasingly multicultural, too, with expanding Japanese and Arabic communities on account of international schools. Jack Hamilton, of Ludlow Thompson estate agent, on High Street (ludlowthompson.com), says: “There are six Polish shops within 100 metres of my

Going places: East Acton station Town Centre from Thursday to Sunday, with fashion, food and local handicrafts (actonmarket.com). It’ll all keep you away from the chaotic jumble of pound stores and betting shops on High Street – though it does have one mega-big Morrison’s supermarket, which is very handy.

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MY AREA JASE

ELLIS Student, 24

“People with so many different beliefs and faiths co-exist here and in harmony, too. You’ll find numerous communities even within a square kilometre.”

GILDA

YARRANDI Bartender, 22

The connections There are four Tube lines (North, East and West Acton served by the Central line, and Acton Town on the Piccadilly and District lines), and three national rail stations (Acton Central, South Acton and Acton Main Line). There are also plenty of bus routes.

Hamilton says: “You’re right at the A40 so getting in and out of London is easy, plus it takes five minutes to get to Westfield [Shepherd’s Bush].”

What can you rent?

The quality of housing stock is on the up, says Ledian Kuci, of estate agents Orchards

of London, based in Ealing. “Rental property prices are increasing because there are some amazing new builds on Gunnersbury Lane and Uxbridge Road, as well as the period conversion properties.”

Poet’s Corner and West Acton are the most desirable sections. Hamilton adds: “The fact you can buy a freehold three-bedroom house at about £400,000 really appeals, especially considering west NEXT WEEK London is regarded as the most Living around Olympic venues prosperous area in the UK.”

“I definitely recommend going to the Station House and The Rocket. The guys who run them are incredibly hot Italians and attract the best bands.”

TAMARA

IVANOVIEC Student, 18

“Because it’s so multicultural, the area has lots of amazing food, and it does eastern European cuisine especially well at a number of quiet family restaurants.”

W3 INFO Ealing £1366.65 Band D TRAVEL TIME TO LONDON 7mins TUBE Tube: North Acton, West Acton, East Acton (Central) and Acton Town (Piccadilly and District).

Overground: Acton Central, South Acton and Acton Main Line.

AVERAGE ROOM SHARE 1 BED £120 AVERAGE RENTAL 1 BED £250 pw AVERAGE FLAT 1 BED £150,000 BOROUGH

COUNCIL TAX

HOUSESHARE £120pw

ONE-BEDROOM FLAT £300pw

TWO-BEDROOM FLAT £320pw

If it’s space you want, it’s space you’ll get in this double room in a converted Victorian terrace, near Acton Town tube. There’s a living room, dining room, a sizeable kitchen and front and back gardens.

This is an attractive period conversion in quiet York Road, with laminate wood floors, carpet in the bedrooms and a breakfast bar in the kitchen. It’s right by the amenities of Horn Lane.

Live on the first floor of this imposing period building, with two double bedrooms, wood floors and cosy, modern decor. Acton Town Tube and Acton Central Overground stations are nearby.

spareroom.co.uk

foxtons.co.uk

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WORLDVIEW

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Heady times for Virgin

HOUSEWORK FOR HUBBY OF HEAD CASE AUSTRALIA A woman hit on the head by a falling suitcase on a Virgin Airlines flight is suing for US$500,000 (£330,338) because she can no longer do housework.

Azadeh Laghai is claiming the damages for suffering and loss of earnings, as well as because her husband has to do all the chores. The incident happened when Laghai, 46, was flying from the Gold Coast to Melbourne. The 7kg bag fell out of the compartment opened by an attendant above her where she was sitting.

Some $36,720 (£24,259) of the claim is because her partner has to do the cleaning and grocery shopping. The airline is expected to file a defence shortly.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Ka-pow: It’s just as well Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych didn’t show at this opposition rally in Kiev on July 5, as, judging from this kick in the gonads to his cardboard self, he’s not particularly liked. Protesters are responding to a law elevating the status of Russians in Ukraine, which has sparked hunger strikes and violent clashes

@hipstermermaid: Nothing says ‘no’ like RSVPing ‘maybe’ to a Facebook invite. @liamgallagher: SH*TBAG. @Aspersioncast: You could be on your deathbed but as long as you’ve got a slight fucking tan people will still comment on how well you look.

STUDENT NOT QUITE TOP OF THE CLASS AUSTRALIA A private school student has lost her appeal against scoring 99.95 out of 100 in her university admissions rank.

Sarah Wong, 21, said she has a wrist problem, which wasn’t taken into account during her exam at the elite Abbotsleigh school in Sydney.

Even though she beat 99.95 per cent of other students, Wong is adamant she 46

would have received the top mark if she had been given a computer, plus rest time.

Wong said she accepted her result was good for a “normal person”.

MERMAIDS JUST THE STUFF OF FANTASY UNITED STATES Mermaids do not exist, the US government has sensationally declared.

The National Ocean Service made the announcement in response to enquiries from the public, prompted by a TV show on the mythical half-woman, half-fish.

It is reported that some viewers may have mistaken the programme for a documentary.

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the service wrote

in an online post.

The discovery Channel’s Animal Planet network screened Mermaids: The Body Found in May. The channel has since conceded that some viewers believed the fictional show was a science education programme.

National Ocean Service spokesman Carol Kavanagh told the BBC that at least two people had written to the agency asking about mermaids.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 33

Millions of pounds in damages Glennroy BairFord seeks after becoming paralysed in a welly-throwing contest

Silly sausage: Jaws bites another one

YANKEE PROVES TOP SAUSAGE SCOFFER UNITED STATES A man known as Jaws has won his sixth consecutive Coney Island hot dog eating contest – bagging US$10,000 (£6437) in winnings.

Joey Chestnut scoffed 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes to win in Brooklyn. The 28-year-old also takes home a fetching mustard-yellow champion’s belt. It tied his personal best and the record. Last year, Chestnut won with 62 hot dogs. Second place went to Tim Janus with 52 hot dogs, who took home US$5000 (£3218). Sonya Thomas downed 45 hot dogs to win the women’s competition.

The Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest has been an NYC tradition for 97 years.

CRAZY CAT LADIES DOWN TO POO GERM

Photos: Getty

DENMARK Scientists have discovered why women with so many felines go a bit mad, turning into ‘crazy cat ladies’.

Researchers in Denmark found a bacteria in the pets’ shit that makes the people it inhabits more likely to go insane and commit suicide.

Apparently, about a third of the world’s population is infected with the Toxoplasma gondii (T.gondii) parasite.

It hides in brain and muscle cells, often without producing symptoms like those of Eleanor Abernathy, The Simpson’s resident crazy cat lady.

The T.gondii parasite is spread through oocysts, which are passed in cats’ faeces.

Humans most commonly get affected emptying their infected cats’ litter boxes,

The age that Katie Holmes, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz and Mimi Rogers were when they split with Tom Cruise

6 Sniffing around: crazy cat

as well as eating unwashed vegetables, undercooked or raw meat infested with cysts or by drinking water from a contaminated source.

POLICE SWOOP OVER CIGGIE DEVICE UNITED KINGDOM

A fake cigarette triggered an M6 antiterror swoop, causing travel chaos on one of England’s biggest motorways.

A passenger on the Megabus coach headed from Preston to London raised the alarm after seeing a “vapour” coming from a bag.

Armed police were called to the scene and the bus was evacuated, forcing the closure of a large stretch of the M6 near Lichfield, Staffordshire.

Sniffer dogs were sent to the scene and the Megabus passengers were searched on the roadside as the area was cordoned off.

But police have now concluded that the terror scare was down to a “health improvement aid for smokers” that was emitting a vapour from a passenger’s bag.

A Staffordshire police spokesman said: “The significant concerns reported to us were unfounded.”

5

Age of destitute boy Chotu Kumar who was filmed suckling from the teat of a stray dog in Jharkhand, India

Cubic centimetres of silicone in the breasts of Chantal Marshall and her four daughters, Britain’s most plastic family

2800

QUOTE OF THE WEEK Instead of life throwing me a curve ball, it threw me a sperm ball

Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi, of Jersey Shore, announces to the world, with a rather strange turn of phrase, she is pregnant to fiance Jionni LaValle

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OURVIEW

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On her tail? Reports suggest Scientologists are stalking Katie Holmes after Cruise split

Watch your back, Katie: this religion does not forgive

Photos: Getty

Divorcing Tom Cruise pits actress against ‘shady’ Scientology

Among the reams of stories that have flooded the web in the wake of the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split, one sticks out as more sinister than most. Gossip website TMZ claims Holmes fears she is being followed by Scientology goons, with unnamed sources citing the presence of mysterious men and lurking SUVs outside her home. The Church of Scientology’s lawyer, Greg Soter, has categorically denied that the Church is tailing the star.

Big celebrity divorce battles can be entertainingly bitter, but leaving Cruise inevitably entails taking on the Church of Scientology – and that could mean Holmes is squaring up for the fight of her life. It also takes a good chunk of light-hearted entertainment out of it. (And I mean light-hearted in the sense that we all enjoy the catastrophic collapse of a wealthy, attractive person’s personal life.)

The religion – founded by a science fiction writer in 1952 and based on the idea that we are immortal beings who have forgotten our true identity – has been the focus of repeated accusations concerning merciless harassment of its enemies. In 1976, several arrests were made around what was reportedly the Church’s covert plot to see an antiScientology journalist committed to a mental institution; more recently, ex-member and public detractor Marty Rathbun filmed a pack of Scientology foot soldiers who, among other things, moored boats in the canal outside his home, rented properties nearby, carried placards denouncing him and stalked his wife – for four months. The Church denies being behind their antics and claims Rathbun is a delusional anti-Scientologist.

And hey, maybe the headlines have got Scientology all wrong. Few things are impossible; perhaps countless reports of creepy dealings and intimidation are inaccurate.

For Holmes’ sake, let’s hope so. Otherwise, she could find herself in a Hollywood thriller without a happy ending. » Agree or disagree? Is Scientology misunderstood? letters@tntmagazine.com

LIVING IN BRITAIN = BEATLES AND BARDS The government’s revised ‘Life in the UK’ immigrant test has thrown out questions focused on laws and rights in favour of cultural queries on the likes of Shakespeare and The Beatles.

The move comes after Home Secretary Theresa May reportedly requested more emphasis on patriotism.

Call me crazy, but I reckon there might be a stronger argument for understanding the laws of the land in order to function as a UK citizen, as opposed to demonstrating that you can hum Norwegian Wood.

“

How many Brits know the sonnets?

”

How many people born in Britain to first-generation British parents nowadays could tell you anything about The Beatles’ back catalogue and the sonnets of Shakespeare anyway?

If the government would rather create an army of bowler-hat-wearing, bardquoting folk than allow immigrants to become organically immersed in British life, fine. But that army is unlikely to fit in.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Summer of ’68 With the Olympics upon us, an Australian hero from Games past is remembered WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON “It’s not about race, it’s about the human race,” filmmaker Matt Norman (above left) says of his documentary Salute, about the black power salute given by US sprinters Tommie Smith and John Carlos on the 200m podium at the Mexico 1968 Olympics, and particularly his silver-medal-winning uncle Peter Norman’s role in the political protest.

With London 2012 around the corner, and issues of race and nationality high on the agenda after the recent European Football Championships and the media-furore over ‘plastic Brits’ competing under the Team GB banner at this month’s games, there’s no finer time for Norman’s film.

Indeed, the events portrayed make the 40-year gap between then and now seem awfully small, the progress achieved falling short of where we should be.

Back in 1968, the civil rights movement was in full flow, Martin Luther King Jr had been assassinated in April of that year, Mexico City had seen 200 students and protestors killed

by Mexican militia and there had been a proposed boycott of the 19th Summer Games by black nations – although this was not to materialise. Standing on the dais for the men’s 200m were Californian gold medallist Tommie Smith and Harlem-born John Carlos, with Aussie Peter Norman taking the silver medalist’s glory. Smith and Carlos, though, had plans, ones that would rock the world, the sport, and their lives for evermore.

As the US national anthem rang out through the stadium Smith and Carlos bowed their heads and stood motionless, with an arm each held aloft, one hand each adorned with a black glove in a Black Power salute. Norman stood proud, too. He was not just ‘the white guy’ in the middle, but an active participant in the protest, himself adorned with an Olympic Project for Human Rights badge to show unity, and equally as aware was he of the danger his actions would put him in.

“A lot of people think ‘Yeah, he stood there and wore a 50

badge, but it wasn’t a badge, it was a black badge. He was supporting American and Australian black civil rights, and for a white guy to do that in this country was dangerous,” Matt Norman says of his uncle’s actions.

“You have to think about how far we have come since 1968, though, and I don’t think we have come that far. We still have racial issues in the UK and Australia, and it wasn’t that long ago that we had the White Australia policy and the stolen generation. When you think that Aboriginal people were only allowed the vote in 1970, it is quite incredible.”

“

The real damage was when he came home

”

In 1968, the aftermath of the trio’s actions echoed around the world. Nazi-sympathising IOC president Avery Brundage wanted to see their medals rescinded, and the media was in uproar for, supposedly, the breaking of the Olympics’ cardinal ‘no politics’ policy. Peter, especially, faced a fallout that he could not, or perhaps at least did not, envisage.

“He was always proud of what he did. He knew he was going to be reprimanded as it was a protest at an Olympic Games,” Matt says. “It made life hard for Tommie and John, but Peter got a slap on the wrist in comparison. The real damage, though, was when he came home.”

Norman qualified for the 1972 Munich games 15 times.

Yet, despite being the world number five, he was not selected.

“On his times, he would have won the gold medal had he gone but Australia didn’t send any sprinters that year.”

Tired of being shunned by Australian athletics, Norman subsequently quit, yet his pride and steadfast moral compass

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Outrage back home in Aus

Photos: Getty

At home with the Normans: Matt and Peter

prevented him from becoming bitter. “I pushed him during interviews to say something bad about those who persecuted him, but he wouldn’t,” Matt recalls. “He said, ‘If they didn’t want me there, they didn’t want me there’. I was there and did my job, but I was also there as a human being and if anyone doesn’t want to take me to an Olympics because I stood up for the rights of real people, then I don’t want to go’. Remarkably, though, in 2000 when the Games were in Sydney, Peter was not called up like all the other past champions, which was a disgrace. The only people who cared were the Americans who invited him on their behalf.”

The photo taken of the famous moment has become one of the most iconic in sporting, and indeed social, history, and the camaraderie between the three men remained, so much so that Smith and Carlos delivered eulogies at Norman’s funeral when he passed away in 2006 from a heart attack.

Although history has focused much on the incident, Norman’s role has always been underplayed, or ignored, mostly out of ignorance, and this is what Salute, in part, intends to correct. For one, his actions had an impact on his young nephew, and this changing of one person’s perception of the world is the template for the way progress is, and still needs to be, made. “I always knew him as the fastest white man in the world [back then], but he would say that that was a racial slur and that he was just the second fastest man.”

Perhaps a sign that progress has been made was shown by the response of the International Olympic Committee when they saw the finished film. “I had to send it to the IOC for their thoughts and I thought we were stuffed,” Matt says.

“But they said it was a very good representation of the time.

While they hope they are not seen that way now they did see the film as documenting a part of history – we were totally shocked.” ❚ Salute is in cinemas July 13 and DVD July 30.

Standing tall: Norman, Smith and Carlos on the podium in 1968

Headed for the track?

SALUTING 1968’S HEROES FEATURE FILM ON THE WAY Matt Norman already has plans to produce a feature film that tells the story of the Mexico City Olympics.

“It will be called 1968, the budget is about US$50m (£32m) and we are looking to shoot it at the end of 2013 in Mexico City,” Norman tells us.

“We had looked at Heath Ledger to play Peter,” he recalls of their plans before the actor’s tragic death in 2008. “But now we’re looking at people like Will Smith, Jamie Foxx and Ewan McGregor for those main roles.

Matt quickly assuages any fears that such big name actors might compromise the film: “Fifty million is cheap! I want it to be an indie film that tells the true story, not the one that people think they know. It will be told from the point of view of a journalist, who returns from Vietnam, sees the Martin Luther King assassination and so goes to Mexico City for a break where he captures the city’s riots and then the OIympics.”

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CAMERON DEFIES ODDS IN KO WIN BOXING A brutal Shane Cameron right hand, eight seconds into the fourth round of his fight against fellow heavyweight Monte Barrett, allowed the Kiwi to reclaim the WBO Asia Pacific and Oriental belts.

“It was one of those shots you never see coming,” said Barrett, who needed to be helped to his feet more than a minute after being floored.

Cameron, who sparred with British boxer David Haye in the lead-up to the bout, hopes he will eventually be able to fight for the world heavyweight title.

“It was an amazing victory. I’d like to thank everyone who turned up here tonight to support me. It was an amazing feeling coming out and the ending was spectacular,” Cameron (above) said.

ALL BLACKS BECOME MULTI-COLOURED? RUGBY New Zealand rugby fans are up in arms that their national team may display sponsor’s messages in the near future.

New Zealand media reported US insurance giant AIG was in negotiations with the NZRU to place its logo on the front of the playing strip, which has been free of advertising since the 1880s.

The NZRU refused to confirm or deny the report that the AIG logo could appear on the jersey as soon as the Rugby Championship starts in August.

AIG had to be bailed out by the US government in 2008, borrowing more than US$250bn which it has since paid back.

The company was the subject of negative feedback after it used some of the loan money to pay bonuses to employees.

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Flipping right out: Chaz Ortiz competes in the men’s skateboard street final during day four of X Games 18 in Los Angeles, California. Paul ‘P Rod’ Rodriguez, who dominated from start to finish, was the eventual winner in a tough final, which featured fellow heavy hitters Nyjah Huston, Ryan Sheckler, Manny Santiago and Ryan Decenzo

AGENTS WARNED OFF SOCIAL MEDIA AFL The AFL Players’ Association is cracking down on player agents amid concerns about them using social media to lure young clients.

Players as young as 15 have received congratulatory letters from player agents, and one club complained of an agent organising and paying for a limousine for a potential client’s school formal.

Clubs in Victoria’s TAC Cup junior competition have also confirmed instances of players being approached by managers via Facebook and Twitter.

The AFLPA has changed its guidelines so that only accredited agents are allowed to initiate discussions with junior players.

through a formal letter to their BIG WEEK FOR ... club. xxxxxxxx The New Zealand Warriors’ blockbusting winger Manu Vatuvei will make a return to the NRL against the Brisbane Broncos this week. Vatuvei has been out of the game for three matches following surgery on his left knee. The Warriors, currently hovering in and around the top eight, will need the man known as ‘The Beast’ on his game as they face a hostile crowd at Suncorp. The Broncos have been going well this year and are in line for a top-four finish.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK He is an egotist, who thinks the world revolves around him.

Guys like Balotelli deserve lots of slaps Swindon Town manager Paolo Di Canio doesn’t rate Mario Balotelli. It’s doubtful Balotelli cares, though. Swindon who?

On the charge: the Chiefs will expect a big performance from Liam Messam

PREVIEW Super 15 round robin ends 14 MATCHES

SKY SPORTS, TIMES VARY It’s the final round of the regular season this week and there’s still plenty to play for. The two teams at the head of the competition ladder will want to retain those spots, thereby earning a week off as the remaining four top teams smash each other up in a sudden death quarter-final round.

The Crusaders showed last week they are title contenders by beating the Chiefs, the form team of the 2012 competition.

The Canterbury side travel to face the

Force, who they should dispose of easily.

The Chiefs, meanwhile, journey to face the Hurricanes as they will seek to maintain their number one position.

In Australia, the Reds, currently in quarter-final contention, enjoy an interstate derby against the Waratahs. The NSW side won’t make the playoffs, but will still go hell-for-leather to secure bragging rights in front of a fanatical Brisbane crowd.

The South African leaders, the Stormers, host the Rebels, as their big rivals this year, the Bulls, aim for a strong finish against the bottom-placed Lions.

THE CHAT | Diamond League Grand Prix

Without doubt, if we are comparing, the 1970 generation was better The ever-modest Pele refuses to relinquish the title of best-ever team to Spain. He says his Brazilian side will always remain number one.

I’m lucky to be sitting on the bus getting driven by some of the greatest players in the game Queensland’s State of Origin forward Nate Myles after being named player of the series. The Maroons beat NSW 21-20 in the decider.

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

RUGBY LEAGUE Diamond League Athletics Grand Prix is Q The in town this week. What’s it all about? Aren’t the Olympics soon? world’s best athletes descend on the capital as the A The star-studded event returns to the Crystal Palace on July 13-14. If you didn’t manage to get Olympics tickets, then this is your best chance to see champions, such as Mo Farah (right), warm up for the main event later this month. Unfortunately, Usain Bolt, the world’s fastest man, will not compete, but two of his greatest rivals, Tyson Gay and Asafa Powell will go head to head in the 100m. You’ll also have the chance to see world 400m hurdle champion Dai Greene, and get an early look at Christophe Lemaitre, the 22-year-old French sprint sensation.

Super League Warrington v Catalan Monday, 7.30pm. Sky Sports 1

MOTORSPORT World Cup Speedway Australia faces England Tuesday, 2.30pm. Sky Sports 2.

CRICKET One Day International West Indies v New Zealand Wednesday, 2.30pm. Sky Sports 2 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights COMMENT: TOM STURROCK

Sharapova: looks don’t count

Looks matter not in concerns of equal pay at Wimbledon Suggestions Sharapova’s ‘hotness’ is worth more are ridiculous

» Where do you stand on the prizemoney debate? letters@tntmagazine.com 54

BOGANS TERRORISE ENGLISH GENT According to John Fingleton, a posh old patron of the exclusive Marylebone Cricket Club, rowdy Australians have been lowering the tone at the cricket.

Fingleton was recently having a cry about the time an Australian he had been talking to stole his hat band while he visited the toilet. “I went to have a pee and when I returned my hat band had disappeared,” he said. “I wasn’t wildly impressed with that. I had no doubt in my mind at all that he’d nicked it.”

Fingleton also recalled a horribly traumatic experience at the SCG during the 2006-07 Ashes when he was seated in

“

I had no doubt that he’d nicked it

”

the Members Pavilion: “After about four overs, my Panama hat suddenly went flying and from behind me a bloke said ‘Take that f****** thing off, mate!”

In an increasingly mixed-up, homogenous world, it’s great to be reminded of the enduring differences between Australians and their British cousins.

Photos: Getty

Every year at Wimbledon the debate about equal prize money rears its head.

Duly, it cropped up again this year and, although there’s little to be gained by male tennis players wading into the fray, some of the responses from their female counterparts suggest they know they’re on shaky ground.

Frenchman Gilles Simon reopened the can of worms when he insisted women were not earning their slice of the pie, which, since 2007, is now just as large as the men’s, despite the fact that tournaments where the men’s and women’s tour come together rely more heavily on the men’s game to generate revenue.

“It’s just that I think that today men’s tennis is really ahead compared to women.

When Rome became a joint tournament it was to save the women because I remember a final with 20 spectators,” Simon said. “If women’s tennis is more interesting than men’s tennis, if the price of the women’s final is higher than the price of the men’s final, they will deserve to win more money than us. That’s just the way it works. This is nothing new.”

It’s not an argument about gender – it’s an argument about economic rent. Female gymnasts work pretty hard at their sport as well, but they earn a pittance because no one wants to watch them compete. Is that unfair? Maybe, but it’s the way it works. Is it sexist?

Absolutely not. And the responses from the female tennis players, faced with an argument that makes at least some intuitive sense, have been underwhelming.

“Definitely a lot more people are watching Maria Sharapova than Simon. She’s way hotter than he is,” Serena Williams said. “Women’s tennis, I think, is really awesome.”

World number six Williams may not have been serious, but she unwittingly hurt her own cause. Sure, Sharapova is photogenic, and that’s why she’s the world’s highest-paid sportswoman. But if that’s the best argument in favour of equal pay, it doesn’t say much for the product.

tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

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INTO NETBALL? Want to make friends and keep fit?

Then join the All Nations Netball

Mixed & ladies leagues Acton, Islington & Southfields

ACTiON Netball MIXED and LADIES THURSDAY NIGHTS IN ACTON 26th July - 13th September (8 weeks - Beginners Welcome!)

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One Netball UK would like to invite you to join us in

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at our tournament on Saturday June 30th 2012!

Time: Where: Grades: Format:

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Pimlico Academy, Lupus Street, London SW1V 3AT Ladies & Mixed A,B,C & Social Minimum 5 games per team in a round robin format;

Cost:

£25.00 per player (inc VAT)

9 minute halves/18 minutes per match.

There will be Sausage sizzle, amazing sponsor prizes, all your favourite Aussie and Kiwi treats, a lunch time shoot out competition and much more!

Get in touch now to grab the last few spaces- Single players, small groups and teams all welcome.

Give us a call at the office on 0207 828 1034 or contact Sophie@onenetball.com.

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Willing and able Dedication pays off for the world’s top Paralympians WORDS TOM STURROCK

The anticipation is building toward fever pitch ahead of the Olympics, which will, of course, be an all-consuming event, during which the eyes of the sporting world turn to London for two weeks of modern athletes competing in an ancient tradition. The stakes are impossibly high and for many of those arriving on these shores, London 2012 represent the culmination of a lifetime’s dedication.

With that in mind, it is worth pausing to consider the athletes who will arrive after the Olympics, but for whom the stakes, if anything, are even higher. The Paralympics, so often squeezed out by the limelight afforded to global superstars such as Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps, will be held toward the end of August and, unsurprisingly, there are some incredible stories in the Australian contingent and beyond.

than 70 world records and 125 Australian records over his short career – he set his first world record at age 13.

The Rollers The wheelchair basketballers have an enviable record to defend in London, having won gold in Beijing and again two years later in 2010 for the world championship title.

Wheelchair basketball is played with essentially the same rules as able-bodied basketball, with some modifications.

For example, “travelling” in wheelchair basketball occurs when the athlete touches his wheels more than twice after receiving or dribbling the ball. The individual must pass, bounce or shoot the ball before touching the wheels again.

The Steelers Kurt Fearnley The racing legend makes his fourth Games appearance in London, where he’ll be aiming to become the first athlete to win three consecutive Paralympic marathons. Fearnley was born without legs, but grew up fiercely competitive, trying his hand at rugby league and the high jump before turning to racing. Weeks before the Sydney Olympics, Fearnley was in a car accident and broke his sternum. He had three weeks off and then returned. Since the Beijing Games, Fearnley crawled 96km along the Kokoda Track in Papua New Guinea.

Matt Cowdrey The superfish was the best performing athlete bar none at the Beijing Games with five gold and three silver. Expect another medals burst and hopefully at least three golds to make an Australian record. Cowdrey was born without his left forearm, but grew up swimming against ‘able-bodied’ kids and made state teams throughout his teenage years.

Cowdrey swims all four strokes as well as the individual medley and, although still only 23, he has broken more 56

The Australian men’s wheelchair rugby team, the Steelers, have frustratingly been left with silver after meeting the US team in the finals of their past two big meets. Half the current squad will make their Paralympic debuts and be desperate to turn the tide. Wheelchair rugby isn’t quite like rugby union – it’s played on a basketball court and actually has more in common with ice hockey or European handball. It’s a brutal sport, though, in which physical contact is par for the course, earning it the nickname, murderball. The team is led by Ryley Batt, who, in 2004, became the youngest Paralympic rugby player at the age of 15.

Jessica Gallagher Gallagher attempted to become the first Aussie to win a medal at both the Summer and Winter Paralympics, having claimed bronze in the slalom at the 2010 Vancouver Games despite just 150 days’ experience on skis. She will contest the javelin and long jump in London. Gallagher began going blind while a teenager and continues to play netball and basketball against seeing opponents. Bizarrely, she was barred from the

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Clockwise from above: Kurt Fearnley; Natalie Du Toit; Justin Eveson of Australia’s Steelers

Beijing Paralympics just a day before the opening ceremony, deemed not blind enough. Whatever happens in 2012, Gallagher plans to be at the 2014 Winter Paralympics in Sochi.

Esther Vergeer Unbeaten since 2003, the Dutch tennis player (main image) has hinted this could be her last Paralympics after three straight golds in Sydney, Athens and Beijing. Vergeer, 31, has won her last 457 matches, amassing 42 grand slam titles and 22 yearend championships. It’s a record that gives her a legitimate claim as the world’s most dominant athlete. When she was eight, she underwent a risky surgical procedure to correct a spinal defect. The surgery saved her life, but left her paralysed.

Natalie Du Toit The Saffa swimmer plans on retiring with a bang by winning all seven of her swimming events and could top it off by beating any one of her 10 current world records. Du Toit began competing at an international level when she was 14, before she was hit by a car and had her leg amputated.

Three months later, she returned to the pool and has been dominating competitions ever since. Du Toit, 28, became the first amputee ever to qualify for the Olympics, where she placed 16th in the 10km “marathon” swim.

Photos: Getty

Dan Greaves The Brit is the overwhelming favourite to win the discus, having broken the world record three times in 2011. When Greaves was born, doctors said his feet were the wrong way round. He underwent 10 operations in his early years which left him with pins in his feet, reduced mobility and poor balance. At school, Greaves took up discus, but, because he was unable to pivot on the balls of his feet, like most discus throwers, he developed a technique in which he revolves comfortably on his heels.

South Africa’s Oscar Pistorius

THE BLADE RUNNER PISTORIUS TO COMPETE Arguably the most famous Paralympian of his era, Oscar Pistorius is known as ‘Blade Runner’ because of his carbon fibre legs and is currently a triple world champion in the 200m, 400m and 4x100m relay.

Pistorius has been the subject of controversy in recent years because of his quest to run at the Olympics, as well as the Paralympics. There were many dissenters who claimed the ‘fastest man on no legs’ in fact had an unfair advantage because of his prosthetic limbs.

Still, Pistorius is set to run in the able-bodied rack events in London, after being selected in South Africa’s track and field team last week, making him one of the men to watch once it all kicks off in a few weeks.

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

SACRED HIKE Hindu devotees make their pilgrimage to the sacred Amarnath Cave, one of the most revered Hindu shrines, near Baltal, Kashmir, India. Pilgrims hike over glaciers and high altitude mountain passes for months to reach the sacred cave.

Photos: Getty

INSIDE

STAND AND DELIVER /62

CITY OF LIGHT & DARK /78

PAINT THE TOWN RED /84

Make the pilgrimage to Newquay, England’s foremost surfing mecca, for a getaway of swell proportions.

Below Paris’s streets, the forces of law are waging a hidden battle against visitors to the city’s more extreme attractions.

Every year, 40 tonnes of tomatoes rain on the sleepy Spanish town of Buñol for Europe’s messiest festival. Here’s how to survive it.

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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Filthy fun in South Korea

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

NAME AND SHAME There was an incident that made me wince with shame while recently travelling in Burma.

MUD FEST Boryeong City, South Korea It’s time to get down and dirty. It’s name may be mud (hoho), but this festival is well worth diving into, celebrating everything slippery with 14-24 mud wrestling, a Mud King contest, mud sliding, mud massages and even a mud football championship. So grab your wellies and prepare to get gritty and gooey. Mudslinging encouraged.

JULY

WHY: The muddy madness was originally conceived as a marketing ploy for Boryeong mud cosmetics. The muck is considered rich in minerals and is used to manufacture various lotions and potions. For the festival, gunge is scooped from Boryeong mud flats and trucked to the pretty Daecheon beach.

DO IT BECAUSE: You’ll experience the childlike joy of being allowed to get filthy, indulging in the likes of mud dancing and mud skiing. Plus, it’s meant to be good for your skin, so you should step away from the revelry looking fresher than ever.

LA DANZA DE LOS ZANCOS

LOTO QUEBEC INTERNATIONAL FIREWORKS COMPETITION

Anguiano, La Rioja, Spain Men twirling around in yellow skirts on stilts are the 22 star attractions of this 17thcentury festival. The cobbled streets are difficult enough to navigate for the nonstilted, so give these dudes some credit for the skill they exhibit as they dance along a 40m stretch, before collapsing into the crowd at the end.

JULY

typicallyspanish.com

DA VINCI DAYS Corvallis, Oregon

A celebration of creativity and experimentation in 20-22 honour of Leonardo Da Vinci, check out crazy inventions and, um, a dog frisbee contest.

JULY

davincidays.org

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mudfestival.or.kr/english

Quebec City, Canada

Pyrotechnical companies from around the world put 23 on a fiery show to compete for Gold, Silver and Bronze. More than 6000 fireworks are set off during each dazzling display.

JULY

lesgrandsfeux.com/en

DARWIN LIONS BEER CAN REGATTA Mindil Beach, Darwin, Australia

Save up your cans to build a boat for the Beer Can 15 Regatta. Just don’t drink all the ale right before assembling it, or you may be the only thing floating.

JULY

beercanregatta.org.au

Photos: Getty

The policy of the tour company was to stay at locally run hotels and guesthouses, maximising the positive impact of our time in the country. Supporting businesses at a local level is the most use we could be in a nation ruled by a brutal military government.

With this in mind, the last stop on our journey was a cute inn run by two sisters at one of Burma’s biggest draws, the stirring Inle Lake.

We’d been warned it would be ‘basic’, which struck crippling fear into the hearts of a number of my companions – all folk who otherwise enthusiastically held forth about their many travels in the wilds of all the world’s corners. (Sample quote from one: “Ah, now it’s time for my favourite intrepid rain story.”).

Once at the inn, I was pleasantly surprised – clean, comfy beds, fresh towels. But no hot water. Intrepid Rain Story was outraged. She was going to let the tour company have it. Two others moved to a different hotel down the road – people I’d witnessed handing out soap and reading glasses at a poor village only a day earlier.

This means that despite an acute awareness of living conditions in Burma, these travellers couldn’t bear a cold shower for the sake of a fledgling business. Indeed, they would even risk offence to the proprietors in order to scrub themselves in the steam – an experience probably not afforded the people they so earnestly plied with soap.

What marvellous fun these heroic fairweather travellers have adventuring and meeting locals, eh? As long as there’s hot water at the end of the day …

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VALENCIA ON FIRE Three thousand people were evacuated from pumping tourist hotspot Valencia last week as forest fires spread across eastern Spain. The area’s beaches were reportedly engulfed in clouds of smoke after temperatures of almost 40˚C hit many parts of the country. Two large blazes that raged along the eastern coast not far from Valencia City have reportedly destroyed 45,000 hectares of land. However, Valencia airport remained open as TNT went to press and the emergency services insisted the majority of people in Valencia were not at risk. The region hosts travel calendar essential La Tomatina each year. More on the messy festival from page 84.

Photos: Getty

NO KIDS ALLOWED Travel giant Thomson has had its knuckles rapped over misleading claims about adults-only hotels. A customer contacted the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) after checking into a resort she had booked for its promise of “total tranquility in a resort free from the bustle of families and young people”, only to find crowds of snotty sprogs staying there, too. Thomson argued that it could not prevent customers from booking kids in as adults. The ASA, however, said that “’exclusively for adults’ and ‘an adults-only hotel’ were absolute claims”.

TERRORISTS BEATEN Two men who allegedly attempted to hijack a plane in China were beaten to death by passengers and crew, state media has claimed.

A regional government spokesman said that a pair of aluminium crutches were broken into pieces by the suspected terrorists and used as weapons. However, passengers and crew tussled with the hijackers and were able to tie them up with belts. But a German-based rights group has challenged the claims, arguing that the incident was not a hijacking attempt, but rather an in-flight brawl over a seating dispute.

TRAVEL TO TRIPOLI Flights from London Gatwick to Tripoli in Libya have resumed, despite the Foreign Office’s continued warnings that British citizens should not travel to the country. Afriqiyah Airways will begin operating a service on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, while British Airways relaunched flights back in May. Gatwick’s head of airline relations, Matthew Wood, said: “We are delighted to welcome Afriqiyah Airways and its passengers back to Gatwick today and [to be] working together again to provide what we expect will be a popular route.”

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What a ride: seven mile of coastline means space for all levels of ability

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Newquay CORNWALL

ENGLAND WALES LONDON Newquay

GETTING THERE First Great Western has trains running daily from London Paddington to Newquay from £52.50 return. The journey takes approximately five hours. firstgreatwestern.co.uk

Be sure to get a meal at Kahuna Restaurant And Beach Bar at Tolcarne Beach. The establishment has upmarket charm and style, and is a genuine suntrap with views unimpeded by anything more than passing birds and boats.

Mains from £10. kahunatolcarne.co.uk Set above the cliffs of Pentire Headland The Lewinnick Lodge serves modern British food hospitalitycornwall.com On The Rocks Bar, set over Towan Beach, prides itself on its affordable drinks, from £1.50. There’s a sun deck from which to enjoy panoramic views. ontherocksbar.co.uk Reef Surf Bar has been voted the best bar in Newquay two years in a row. The bar becomes the place to party when the sun goes down. Pints from £2.50 reefsurflodge.info Nestle into Tolcarne Apartments at Tolcarne Beach. A two bedroom apartment costs from £100-200 per night (sleeps four) and surf shacks cost from £60-£100 per night (sleeps four). tolcarnebeach.com

Perfection: Tolcarne Beach

62

Reef Surf Lodge offers packages from £44pp for a weekend stay. reefsurflodge.info

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UKTRIP

Stand and deliver Make the pilgrimage to Newquay, England’s surfing mecca, for a feast of swell proportions

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty

WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

A rush of panic disturbs the warm glory of the afternoon sunshine at Newquay’s Tolcarne Beach as the splash of the ocean’s surface being breached leads to instant thoughts of ‘shark?’, followed by ‘sealion?!’. It’s a surfer’s nightmare.

However, ‘dolphins’ emerge the culprits; five, travelling 20 metres apart, each taking its turn to leap energetically above the waterline and thrill the hundreds of beachgoers lazing and playing along the one-mile stretch of lion-coloured sand.

The sight of these sleek marine mammals is the ideal start to a wave-riding lesson in England’s surfing capital.

Newquay’s title stretches back to 1928, when Australian swimmer Charles ‘Snow’ McAllister passed through for a wave on his way home from the Amsterdam Olympics; the Australian connection then reinforced at the conclusion of World War II, when members of the country’s airforce held a ‘surf carnival’ that drew 5000 curious locals to watch the athletic antipodeans tame the town’s mighty breakers.

Although Newquay’s seven miles of coastline, comprising 11 beaches, welcomes consistent swell to its host of beach breaks, most of which work best in south to easterly offshore winds, today’s waves at Tolcarne and neighbouring Fistral are unusually small, almost frustratingly so. However, they’re perfect for the absolute novice accompanying me, my girlfriend Leanne. Having tired of being left at home during my adventures on the beaches of Europe and Northern Africa, she has finally decided to learn to surf.

After the obligatory ‘how to stand up’ lesson from our instructor, Peter, a New Zealander far from his homeland, but very much at home in the ocean, Leanne is set her mission: to catch a wave and, at the least, get to her knees.

As she sets about the task with vigour, Peter and I chill a little further out to sea and he points out the landmarks surrounding Tolcarne, many of which I will later visit.

There’s the cliffside lift of the Hotel Victoria, in which a party of stags plunged 100ft to the ground when it failed in 2010; the harbour wall at nearby Towan Beach, where only locals in possession of a password are welcome to ride the break; the white 14th-century heur’s hut, from where a watchman would alert townsfolk to shoals of pilchard; and the home of Lord Long on Towan Island, accessible only by a 100m suspension bridge, and recently put on the market for £1m.

Further out to sea, a couple in kayaks tracks the dolphins,

and a lone stand-up paddleboarder makes his way across the bay, while a jetskier makes the most of the atypical lack of swell, tearing across the smooth ocean, scattering seagulls as they scavenge for food.

For the surfers, patience is the order of the day, and eventually it pays off; I manage to latch on to some of the sea’s more generous offerings, coaxing my way to the shore along rare two-foot glassy faces, working hard to tease a ride from the shy swell. Leanne looks on, her face a mixture of admiration and jealousy, although the next wave affords her the opportunity to improve. She scrambles aboard it, sliding

“

I work hard to tease a ride from the shy swell

”

down the face and getting to her knees, and then her feet, her balance that of a newborn foal. Then, tired after a journey of countless miles, the wave’s energy dissipates, and Leanne tumbles into the whitewater, emerging from the froth with that glow every waverider will recognise: stoke.

An hour-and-a-half later, her intoxication yet to evaporate, she gently protests as Peter and I decide to call it a day. At the surf shop, Steve, an old, bronzed sea dog, his deep tan testament to the fact he’s no weekend warrior, listens intently to her tales, surely having heard thousands similar, but indulging her in that laidback manner all Cornish folk seem to possess. And as he does, the dolphins, those graceful acrobats of the sea, frolic their way back across the bay, no doubt cursing today’s small swell, but, like us, making themselves a promise to soon return to the UK’s surfing NEXT WEEK capital for another dose of sunshine and stoke.

The Jurassic Coast: Jahn was hosted by Newquay Business Non-stop thrills Improvement and the Tolcarne Beach at this heritage site Surf School

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VENICE Two nights is £245pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights. Departs August 8.

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AMSTERDAM Two nights is £145pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Southend. Departs July 19.

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AN ION AIR PRO DIGITAL HD ACTION CAMERA WORTH £250 TNT and Bob Books have teamed up to offer one lucky reader the chance to capture some amazing summer adventures and show them off in style!

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HOT TIPS: On the road If you are planning to photograph as you travel, it can be helpful to be prepared before you go.

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than one situation, flash, tripod, cleaning equipment and a durable carry case or bag. Carry spare memory cards, a card reader and a portable hard drive for backing up your images. Keeping your equipment covered with adequate insurance can be a life saver. If the worst should happen, you want to be able to replace your gear.

RUNNER-UP

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RUNNER-UP THE HIGHEST SAND DUNE IN THE MOROCCAN SAHARA Jarrod Spurrell, Melbourne, Australia

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A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

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TOP FIVE

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MUST-DO SOUTH AFRICA

@tntmagazine

CAGE DIVING

NEXT WEEK Getting floral with it: Our top five English country gardens

70 00

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Meeting a great white face-to-face is top of the list for many thrillseekers.

These beasts inspire both awe and fear – remember how scared you were watching Jaws from behind a pillow? Well, multiply that adrenaline by a thousand and you still won’t come close to the rush on offer here.

Thankfully, travellers can take on this activity safe in the knowledge they’ll live to tell the tale.

And Shark Alley is one of the best places in the world to get close to these stunning creatures.

A two-hour drive from Cape Town to the small fishing village Gansbaai, Shark Alley is a deep channel between Dyer and Geyser islands where great whites come to feast on the islands’ 40,000 fur seal inhabitants.

Your heavy, metal enclosure is attached to a tour boat, and bobs along on floats. Divers breathe through an air pump, snorkel or hold their breath while underwater, so scuba experience isn’t necessary.

It doesn’t take long for the guests of honour to arrive, as the guides

attract them with a liquid fishy mix.

Sharks can smell blood from more than a kilometre away, so they’ll be keen to find out what’s on the menu.

Measuring about six metres and weighing 2000kgs, the great whites get so close, you’ll be able count all 300 of their lethal serrated teeth, aligned in rows, while staring into its dark, piercing eyes.

As well as cage diving, most companies offer tours to watch breaching (sharks jumping out of the water), predation (sharks hunting seals) and surface viewing, where you can see these magnificent beasts from the comfort of the boat if you’re a bit too chicken to get into the cage.

The peak season runs from April to October, when sharks are particularly active in their feeding behaviour and so are more likely to be spotted.

As well as the thrill of a lifetime, you may even come away with a new-found respect for sharks, far from being the man-eating monster sensationalised in Steven Spielberg’s film. vilanovageltru.com

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Breathe deep the peace of the rural Wild Coast.

Enjoy the natural beauty of green hills, forests, secluded beaches and pristine rivers. Experience the culture and lifestyle of the amaXhosa. Make friends with locals and travellers over good food and beach parties.

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From N2 take Coffee Bay road (70km). Turn towards Umdumbi. Follow signs for 25km.

Pre-book Mthatha and Coffee Bay shuttle.

Camping –R65 pp. Dorms—R115 pp.

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Surfing is our passion at Coffee Shack and we want everyone to give it a go!

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

Well located

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SURFING IN DURBAN

Surfers the world over flock to South Africa’s ‘Surf City’ Durban, where the beaches are golden, the vibe laidback, and the waves are consistently good, all year round.

The sophisticated seaside port has a subtropical climate, meaning you can ditch the restrictive wetsuit and hit the surf in comfort.

Newbies can take their pick from the surf schools and camps aligning the beaches – just compare prices first. durban-venues.co.za

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, White Shark Diving Company.

4

LOCAL VILLAGES

Get into the heart of South Africa and its peoples, with a tour to one of the many rural villages, tucked away from the bright lights of the cities.

Learn about Zulu, Xhosa, Basotho, Tswana, Shangaan and Ndebele tribes, to gain an insight into SA’s heritage.

Don’t expect just to be a bystander – get involved in dancing, brewing beer, moulding clay pots, hut decorating, and tending cattle. Take some cash to buy some of the arts and crafts on sale and support the local community. southafrica.net

3

WALKING SAFARI

Where better to spot the Big Five – black rhino, buffalo, elephant, leopard and lion – than on foot in South Africa’s world-renowned Kruger National Park?

It’s one of the largest game reserves in Africa, covering more than 7500sqm, and extending 360km north-south.

With wilderness trail options, including guided overnight walks as well as vehicle safaris, you may also spot cheetahs, hippos, giraffes as well as other species of smaller animals. krugerpark.co.za

5

TABLE MOUNTAIN

The best way to experience Cape Town’s majestic, flat-topped Table Mountain is on foot – and there are a number of trials of varying difficulty to choose from.

At the 3558ft summit, take in the rugged landscape and sprawling views of the city 1000m below. Feeling brave? Choose to abseil down the cliff edge, or explore the rare sandstone caves nearby. If you don’t fancy the hike up, sit back, relax and take in the view from the cable car.

HOTEL LEIFUR EIRIKSSON OVERVIEW This is a basic, three-star hotel in the old centre of Reykjavik, so you don’t need to wander far to find the action. Although it does have modern comforts – TV, wifi, private bathroom, room service, complimentary breakfast – it doesn’t have any of the fancy extras, which means guests aren’t paying for facilities they’re not going to use. Plus, Iceland is an adventure playground, so you’re hardly going to spend much time in your room.

WOW FACTOR It’s in a prime location, on one of the most sought-after streets in Reykjavik. Situated on the corner of two streets, opposite the city’s main landmark, Hallgrim’s Church, there’s also a convenience store close by. The hotel is less than a 10-minute walk from the city centre, and all the attractions – galleries, restaurants, museums, clubs, etc. – on offer.

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If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

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husband and I were hoping to Q My travel to India through Nepal via Tibet from Beijing. Seeing as travel through Tibet is practically impossible, can you suggest an alternative overland route to India from Beijing? We would have about four weeks to get to India. Tanja, via email

74

journey between these two areas A Your should be reasonably straightforward.

To do the Malaysia to Indonesia crossing by land, you can cross at the Entikong land border from Sarawak into West Kalimantan. Some of the highlights of the island include the river communities at Sungai Mahakam and the orang-utans at Tanjung Puting National Park.

For the second leg of your journey, travelling from Kalimantan to Sulawesi, ferries run regularly. Pelni (pelni.co.id) operates a number of services, including between Nunukan and Makassar. While you are here, it would be almost criminal not to check out the incredible diving and snorkelling – Pulau Bunaken in the north has some of the best.

In terms of safety, the Foreign Office has no travel restrictions for Malaysia, but it is worth noting that should you go, they suggest that you exercise caution when travelling around the islands east of Sabah (including Semporna and the islands of Mabul and Sipadan) where the threat of kidnapping does exist. Furthermore, in Indonesia you are also advised to exercise caution in Tarakan (east Kalimantan) and the central Sulawesi area (particularly Palu, Poso and Tentena). See fco.gov.uk for more.

WEEK

GO GREEN Green Market in Cape Town is incredible. Don’t get your hair braided, though – it will be a mistake!

Teresa Curran, via Twitter SHUTTLE IN Avoid being ripped off taking an expensive taxi trip into Cape Town from Cape Town International Airport.

There is a very affordable shuttle service that runs every 30 minutes outside the airport terminal – ask at the information desk where to buy a ticket and where to wait for the bus. It will drop you outside the main train station in the centre of Cape Town, but be warned: this area is not safe at night or in the very early hours of the morning.

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This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

is incredibly tricky, as of any of the A This most direct overland routes between India and China involve passing through either Tibet or Myanmar (Burma), both of which would mean trying to cross borders which have political difficulties and are usually closed to foreign visitors. Having considered all manner of routes, my advice would be to make the most of your time within China and then hop on a flight to avoid complicated border and visa issues in the neighbouring countries.

You can fly from the laidback city of Kunmíng in China’s fascinating Yúnnán province to Kathmandu, Nepal in just under three hours with China Eastern airways. From Kathmandu, you will find buses running throughout the day and night into India, and can also pick up an Indian visa should you need one. This means it should be plain sailing from here to India.

The most popular route is through the crossing at Sunauli/ Bhairawa, which is eight hours by bus from Kathmandu to the border.

From here, you can catch a variety of onwards buses to India. Just for an example, Varanasi is 10 hours by bus.

Good luck!

going to Malaysia and Indonesia Q I’m and was hoping to travel from Borneo into Kalimantan by land and then catch a ferry to Sulawesi. How practical is this and are any ‘must-sees’ that you’d recommend?

Adam, via email

READERS’ TIPS ON ... SOUTH TIP AFRICA OF THE

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Been somewhere good lately?

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KAJANG, SULAWESI ISLAND, INDONESIA Eva Cmorejova, from Slovakia

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

LUKE CARTER, 22

MICHELLE MARTIN, 23

London, England

Alberta, Canada

BEST I went on a 10-hour mountain climb in Scotland.

I watched the sun set on the Black Cuillin. Everything was so beautiful.

Most memorable travel experience?

I went to Iceland during the summer solstice.

There was never any complete darkness. You could watch the sun set and, one hour later, watch it rise.

Essential travel item?

I take a photo of my Australian Shepherd with me everywhere. It’s comforting.

Scariest travel experience?

When I was in Amsterdam, a lot of men were very forward with me. A group of them hung outside my hostel.

WORST I was in India and had my bag stolen on the train. My passport was in there, so I knew I was in trouble.

I was in such shock, I wandered into the street and my foot got run over by a passing car.

» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

LUXURY CAMBODIA PACKAGE Explore the temples of Angkor, stay at a private island resort and end your adventure at Raffles in Phnom Penh.

An eight-night break is £3795pp with Bamboo Travel. Includes B&B accommodation, four lunches and five dinners, house drinks and fully stocked minibar, private tours, guides and drivers, and return flights from London. bambootravel.co.uk

76

THE INSIDER

MATT TOOHEY UK Sales Manager Busabout, Haggis and Shamrocker

My first ever big trip was to the US for a summer. It was eight weeks of skateboarding, wakeboarding and basically being a big kid. What’s not to love?

My most challenging travel experience was when I walked solo from Biarritz in France, through the Pyrenees mountains and to the Med. It took 28 days and I had to carry everything I needed. I packed way too much and my pack weighed a ton. I ended up trading all my excess stuff for food. It was a brilliant trip, though!

My favourite place in the world is Thailand. The people are lovely and it’s cheap as chips.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is to take a year off work and walk the whole length of the Great Wall of China – all 3500 miles – to raise some money for a few charities.

My guilty travel pleasure is buying random percussion instruments and filling my spare room with them.

Photos: TNT; Thinkstock

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£1305

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CALL 0845 257 5211 *Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

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Clockwise: deep underground; the Louvre; some of the six million skulls; the hunt for trespassers [Caption]

Paris FRANCE

UK

GETTING THERE Take the Eurostar.

Trains leave London St Pancras daily from 6.22am. From ÂŁ69 return. Journey takes about two hours, 15 minutes. eurostar.com

LONDON

PARIS

FRANCE

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City of light … and dark Below Paris’s streets, the forces of law are waging a hidden battle against visitors to the city’s more extreme attractions WORDS CHARLIE HAMILTON

Trudging through a dark, humid labyrinth of passageways below one of Europe’s most famous capitals, my guide scours the walls, her headtorch searching for signs of activity. Suddenly, she stops and picks something from a crack in the 200-year-old hand-carved tunnel wall.

It’s a note. I hold my breath as she passes it me to read.

A centuries-old prophecy or an ancient warning?

“Hi to everyone who reads this!” I turn the paper over to find it is written on the back of a nightclub flyer. Far less profound than I had hoped.

It’s only a few hours after dawn and I am with the three-person police team searching the vast network of underground tunnels in the heart of the City of Light, looking for illegal visitors.

The huge, almost 300km, network was quarried hundreds of years ago to provide stone for the city’s ornate buildings and monuments. Part of the network is also filled with the bones of some six million Parisians, whose remains were moved here, starting at the end of the 18th century, when cemeteries became full. Another such area, the Catacombes de Paris, is open to tourists.

However, the underground shafts that I’m walking through – hewn from limestone 20m below the city streets – have been off limits to members of the public for more than half a century. Not that you would know it from the colourful graffiti tags sprayed over the walls and ceilings, plus the occasional party leftovers: the empty beer cans, bottles, and even traffic cones.

After the 1955 entry ban, Parisians gave a typically Gallic shrug and carried on visiting them anyway. In the first weekend of June this year alone, police found about 30 people scattered among the catacombs.

The cops do their best to round up illegal entrants, but the one or two patrols a week, combined with the modest €60 (£50) fine for those caught, show exactly where the tunnels are on the list of police priorities.

Much of their job is helping inexperienced visitors lost in the maze of interconnecting tunnels. These visitors, known as ‘cataphiles’, are locked in a constant game of cat-andmouse with the cataphile cops, nicknamed ‘cataflics’.

“It’s all ages and backgrounds who make up the cataphiles,” my guide, brigade chief Sylvie Gautron, head of the police unit charged with patrolling the tunnels, tells me.

“The majority are students, and mostly men, but I have met older people down here, business people, too. Some people are fanatics. Some are just explorers. Some just come down here to smoke cannabis or drink.“ While some cataphiles use the tunnels simply as a party venue, others brave the dark for peace and silence, choosing to decorate the caves with intricate paintings and sculptures.

But the tunnels can be dangerous, and that is exactly why they are restricted. People often become disorientated and

“

Some come to smoke cannabis and drink

”

lose their way. They can fall and injure themselves. That is when they need the help of the cataflics.

Gautron and I descended through a metal street cover ››

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near La Prison de La Sante, in Paris’ 13th district and are now trekking, sometimes bent double, through the occasionally flooded shafts, eyes peeled for any signs of cataphiles.

Wandering through the underground shafts is a creepy experience. The airlessness, humidity and temperature rarely below 40 degrees means you can’t quite get your breath.

Claustrophobia has never featured on my radar before, but wandering through the stifling tunnels, I suddenly started to think of the hundreds of tonnes of rock above me. Cave-ins do happen at times, and the chambers of catacombs have always posed safety concerns for construction in the city. All the more reason to keep people out.

And, it seems, police may be slowly winning the battle; Gautron estimates that only about 60 fines were issued last year, compared to almost 350 the previous year.

A few days later, I track down cataphile Franck Palier, a computer technician from Paris. He’s been visiting the tunnels for more than 20 years and goes underground about four times a month to “explore, take photos, meet friends and because it is forbidden”.

Franck respects the police who patrol, even though he is constantly in danger of being met with a fine and an escort from his subterranean sanctuary. “They are just there doing their job,” he explains. “Without them the tunnels could become anarchy and if they were there all the time, that would stop cataphiles from enjoying their hobby.”

He is disappointed that a rogue few are giving the rest of the Paris’s cataphiles a bad name. It’s unfortunate for those who are genuinely passionate about a life below the footpaths.

“Some people who visit the tunnels don’t respect them.

UNDERGROUND ADVENTURE SEE THE CATACOMBS THE LEGAL WAY Although access to much of the tunnels is forbidden, a small 1.7km stretch, known as the Catacombs Of Paris Museum, is open to the public.

Combined, the tunnels house the bones of some six million Parisians, stacked floor to ceiling. The carrieres (tunnels) are principally made up of two unconnected networks; the first extends below Paris’s 5th, 6th, 14th and 15th districts, while the second smaller area of about 25km lies below the 13th district. During WWII, part of the tunnels were converted into a bunker with walls, electricity, running water and telephone lines.

In the final days of the war, the French Resistance used them as a headquarters. catacombes-de-paris.fr

Some go and break things and leave rubbish everywhere.

Others go there and clean up and make things,” he says.

“Personally, I love the tunnels, so I will continue to go, no matter what. Despite it being forbidden, I don’t think I am some kind of dangerous delinquent and I don’t damage things when I am there.”

Back to my night in the shafts, and after more than three hours, Gautron draws the hunt to a close without finding any snoozing cataphiles. But she will be back, to help the lost, and to continue the search for those who are intent on exploring or partying in the darkness beneath the City of Lights. ❚

CATACOMBS IN NUMBERS The approximate length in kilometres of the hidden tunnel network below Paris

1955

The year Parisian authorities made it illegal to tour the catacombs

The amount in euros that people found exploring the tunnels can be fined

The largest number of people discovered partying in the tunnels in the past three years

The number of entry points to the tunnels throughout the city

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60

250

Downtime: the almost 300km network winds 20m below the Paris streets

Photos: Tory Groman; Getty; Thinkstock

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280

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Swiss bliss Discover Zurich in 48 hours WORDS KELLY GRIFFIN

DAY 1: 09:00 Map in hand, get lost in the narrow and winding cobbled streets of the Old Town, Alstradt and discover medieval towers, Roman ruins, landmark churches, plus a cool mix of modern shops and cafes.

10:00 In particular, stroll to the top of Lindenhof hill for mid-morning views of the city. Don’t miss the neighbouring 13th-century St Peter’s Church, which boasts the largest clock face in all of Europe, with a diameter of 8.7m.

11:00 A stone’s throw away is Fraumünster (Minister of Our Lady), which you’ll recognise by its striking, slender, blue spire and sophisticated clocktower. Step inside and marvel at the stunning stained-glass windows by the great artist Marc Chagall, who was 80 when he crafted them in 1970.

Although the Fraumünster was extensively renovated in the 20th century, history enthusiasts will be interested to learn a small convent was founded on the site in 853AD and there’s evidence that a convent already existed on the site prior to that.

12:00 Cross the Limmat River and make your way to Zurich’s most famous piece of architecture, the twin-towered Romanesque-style Protestant church Grossmunster (‘Great Minister’, Grossmunsterplatz 8001). Through the lush interior of dark-wood and white plasterwork, take a brisk climb up the South Tower’s 187 steps for an incredible bird’s-eye view of the city.

12:30 Stop for lunch at ever-so-charming café Schobe (Napfgasse 4), where bouquets of flowers and fairy lights adorn the ceiling and – more importantly – the legendary Swiss hot chocolate is out of this world.

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13:30 Make your way to the eccentric Bürkliplatz Flea Market (flohmarktbuerkliplatz.ch). With 400-500 traders, it’s the biggest in town and takes place on Saturdays until 4pm. Scavenge through the vintage trash-and-treasure and you may score an antique Swiss Army Knife or maybe some second-hand jewellery. Whatever you find, it’s sure to be cheaper than shopping at the city’s expensive and famous fashion strip, Bahnofstrasse.

15:00 By now, it’s high time for some serious relaxation. Take a slow stroll around the banana-shaped Lake Zurich – you are on holiday after all. The picturesque Chinese Gardens, with fishponds and cherry-tree-lined pathways, is a must, as is the Skupturen Park, a crazy sculpture park where you can act like a big kid and climb Swiss artist Bruno Weber’s creations. Go on, we know you want to. Super popular on a summer’s day, Lake Zurich is the perfect place to go for a swim, cycle or boat ride. Jumping on the historic paddlesteamer for a sunset cruise is highly recommended.

19:00 The Cafe Du Pont (Beatenplatz 4, city centre) is a fun, kitschy restaurant and a favourite among expats. The mostly American menu offers meals named after classic films, and the interior is also movie themed. While not typically Swiss, this is a great place to unwind and get in the mood for the night ahead.

21:30 Get your party on at the go-to music spot Club Q (qzurich.ch), located in the former industrial-turned-ultrahip district of Zurich West. With so many trendy bars in this area to hop to, you could be in for a big night. (But remember, Zurich ain’t cheap.)

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Photos: Getty; Switzerland Tourism

Splash: take a dip in Lake Zurich

DAY 2: 10:00 Switzerland’s largest city has more than 50 museums, but The Kuntshaus Zurich (Museum of Fine Arts, kunsthaus.ch) is one of the biggest and best. It’s renowned for its rich 19th- and 20th-century art collection, including work by Alberto Giacometti, Edvard Munch and Marc Chagall, as well as Picasso, Monet, Rothko, Twombly, Beuys and Bacon.

12:00 Grab an early lunch at the city’s most famous sausage stand Sternen Grill (vorderer-sternen.ch), which offers more than 20 options, including vegetarian.

13:00 Take a short train ride to Zurich’s local mountain Uetliberg (uetliberg.ch) and walk or tram up to the top for spectacular panoramic views of the city, Lake Zurich and the snow-capped Alps in the distance. Then, spot native animals such as deer, squirrels, hares, foxes, woodpeckers and owls in the nearby Sihlwald forest.

17:30 Sip a drink at Cabaret Voltaire (cabaretvoltaire.ch), birthplace of the Dada art movement and hang-out spot for avant-garde writers and artists of the day. This vibrant culture centre hosts exhibitions, events and a bar.

20:00 With the weekend almost over, don’t go home without trying a Swiss fondue. For a mouth-watering melting pot of cheese with bread and potatoes to dip in (plus wine to wash it down), go to the cosy restaurant Raclette Stube (raclette-stube/ch).

Flights from London to Zurich start at £150 return with Swiss Airlines. Direct flights take 1 hour, 40 minutes. swiss.com

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La Tomatina BUÑOL, SPAIN

SPAIN Barcelona MADRID Valencia Bun˜ol

GETTING THERE Fly from London Stansted to Valencia from £219 return with Ryanair. ryanair.com Regular buses and trains travel between Valencia and Buñol. Alternatively, get all your transport included when you book an organised tour.

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Paint the town red Every year, 40 tonnes of tomatoes rain on the sleepy Spanish town of Buñol for Europe’s messiest festival. Here’s how to survive it EDITED BY LAURA CHUBB

“The world’s biggest food fight”, La Tomatina is a redsoaked ruckus that crams more than 40,000 people into the narrow streets of a tiny Spanish town for the most frenzied hour of their lives – a no-holds-barred tomato war where it’s every man for himself.

No doubt Tomatina is on your to-do list, but it can be tough to know exactly what to expect from the festival.

After all, how often do you travel about 850 miles for an hour’s food fight? Here, we give a first-hand account of this bucket-list bedlam, and a guide to everything else you should be doing in Valencia once the tomatoes stop flying.

Killer tomatoes Dawn is breaking over the tiny town of Buñol. For 364 days a year, the streets are deserted at this time – but not today. Already buzzing, a crowd pushes towards the central square, pints of sangria and beer in hands, an edgy energy simmering.

It’s 6am and the tomato battle proper doesn’t commence until 11am, but those who have made it here already are glad they peeled their hungover bodies from their beds this morning. Behind them, an ever-thickening crowd streams down the hill; the narrow streets are already packed and, believe it or not, some La Tomatina aficionados have been here for hours, staking out the prized spot in the centre of town where a traditional ham hangs from a greasy pole.

The fight doesn’t start until a cannon sounds – in theory, after a determined climber brings down the ham. In reality, this is a near-impossible task. As the minutes go by, an electricty emanates from the crowd. It might be smiles and camaraderie now, but everyone knows war is about to break out.

Anticipation of the carnage to come begins to bubble over as heat, booze and testosterone combine to boiling point. By now, it’s difficult to move on the narrow streets as 45,000 people await the delivery of the 40 tonnes of rotting tomatoes, destined to become their ammunition. A bloke with a map of Australia tattooed on his back has scrambled on to a balcony and is swinging his T-shirt triumphantly above his head. Below him, guys form a circle and begin whipping each other with soaked shirts while, holding hands, a group of friends pushes through the mayhem in as-yet

unsullied white. As beer is sloshed over feet, a cry of “Ole, Ole, Ole” goes up.

And then, suddenly, the cannon explodes. The crowd goes wild, baying for tomatoes, clamping goggles to heads, girls checking that their triple-layers of bikini, bra and sports-top are in place. At the end of the packed street a behemoth of a truck rumbles into sight, the facilitator of red oblivion.

Atop the truck sit La Tomatina’s dedicated generals, rallying troops with the call: “Tomatina! Tomatina!” As the vehicle edges onwards it seems impossible it will fit through the blockade of bodies, but a pathway is cleared and somehow the fight is prepped to begin.

With a swoosh, a gargantuan pile of tomatoes is dumped and, as though a switch has tripped, the world turns red.

Suddenly, those sharing an amicable joke a minute before are immersed in combat, each fruit slammed into a head retaliated ten-fold with handfuls thrown in faces, ground into hair, rammed down tops. Those wearing goggles find themselves blinded, windscreen wipers needed to clear an inch of red gunge from their panes. However, those without fare little better, peering between chunks of tomato that hang from eyebrows and stick to lashes.

But this is no time for wimps; new missiles must be gathered at every opportunity. Like lightning, new targets present themselves: a tempting back, a vulnerable head, a mate’s gasping face. With pure joy, this cavalcade of adults loses all shreds of dignity in a shouting, chaotic release from the restraints of everyday life. Then BOOM, the second cannon is sounded and, like overexcited but ultimately obedient schoolchildren, tomatoes are laid down and the fight is over.

Euphoric but dazed, the crowd shuffles slowly back out of the narrow streets, exchanging laughs and half-guilty looks as the destruction wreaked on Buñol – and each other – sinks in. Were it not for the smiles, the dripping red walls and limping, splattered humans would be straight from a Tarantino film.

As the Tomatinians stand under hoses, the gore seeps through the streets and I pity the locals. The euphoria may have been pure, but the aftermath is simply purée. ›› Words: Frankie Mullin TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Here and bottom right: Tomatina’s sea of scarlet.

Top right: wind down at the scenic Jardins del Turia Valencia: best of the rest On Spain’s east coast, the region of Valencia has much more going for it than simply chucking tomatoes. Valencia – the city, where you’ll likely be staying as accommodation is limited in Buñol – rivals Spain’s cosmopolitan and cultural centres of Barcelona and Madrid, with a vibrant nightlife, fantastic architecture and a rich heritage. Equally, the larger region – with two official languages, Valencian (Catalan) and Spanish – boasts fantastic whites- and beaches, picturesque landscapes and historic towns. Here’s our pick of what to see and where to see it when you’re done wiping tomato from your eyes.

Jardins del Turia Stretching 9km, this unique park is surrounded by ancient walls in the old riverbed of the Turia. The river was prone to flooding and in 1957, the city decided to divert it, leaving a fertile riverbed that was quickly converted into a lush stretch of greenery. The trenched nature of the river creates a peaceful refuge for Valencians to escape the city, losing themselves in the park’s gardens, sports pitches and playgrounds. valenciavalencia.com

Ciutat Vella Valencia’s Old Town is a labyrinth of stunning streetscapes and lively avenues, where Gothic, Renaissance and Baroque styles mix seamlessly. To the northeast is the trendy, thriving area of Barrio del Carmen, which has undergone several stages of regeneration and is the place to go to experience Valencia’s famed nightlife, with loads of restaurants, clubs and open-air drinking spots spilling over into the small hours.

Kick off your night with some drinks at the popular live music venue, La Bolseria, before hitting Piccadilly Club for some all-night dance music.

In terms of sightseeing, the Unesco-listed 16th-century La Lonja (silk exchange) is a fantastic example of late-Gothic extravagance. No expense was spared and the lavish building is made up of three main halls, filled with twisted columns and an intricately decorated ceiling. Also worth seeing are the Torres de Serranos, two 14th-century towers that used to form part of the city walls. aboutvalencia.com valenciavalencia.com/nightlife-guide 86

Dive in: clean freaks, beware

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Parc Natural de l’Albufera The centrepiece of this nature reserve is the enormous lagoon of Albufera. Surrounded by pine trees and rice fields, leave city life behind and stroll through its forests or relax on an empty beach. And be sure to take a dip in the invigorating freshwater lagoon. Perhaps more significantly, this is allegedly the place where paella was born. So head down to one of the inviting waterside restaurants in the fishing villages of El Palmar or El Perellonet, right in the heart of the nature reserve, and get stuck into a delicious seafood treat. At only 40 minutes by bus from Valencia city, it’d be rude not to. en.comunitatvalenciana.com

“

A switch has tripped.

The world turns red

”

Xàtiva Step back in time in this quaint little town, about an hour to the southwest of Valencia city. Set at the foot of a hill straddled by a massive castle, Xàtiva dates back to Roman times when it was famous for its silk fabrics. The local museum commemorates the moment King Philip V ordered the town to be burned by hanging his portrait upside down.

Explore the narrow, meandering streets before walking up to the well-preserved castle, its extensive grounds including gardens, prisons and lavish living quarters. Best of all, you’ll get some spectacular views of the town and surrounding countryside from this vantage point. xativa.es La devesa beach The Costa Blanca is famous for its fantastic beaches and there are plenty of resorts both north and south of Valencia. But it can be hard to avoid the crowds as most of the beaches are ›› easily accessible from the capital. However, few tourists

Corey Kirkham: expert in the extreme

The Insider's guide Corey Kirkham is a trip leader with Topdeck. He lets us in on his top tips for surviving La Tomatina.

Bag a spot at Plaza del Pueblo: “This is the main square, with the ham pole and where the tomatoes are unloaded first. Get there early or you won’t get there at all. The closer you are to the main square, the sooner you’ll be able to start throwing. It takes a while for the tomato trucks to make their way through the streets, so if you are further out you will be waiting impatiently, because you can hear – and catch glimpses of – the action closer to the square.”

Travel light: “Take as little as possible with you on the day. Just bring a clean set of clothes to wear after the festival, plus money in a small plastic bag that you can hide in your shoe. If you want to bring a camera, make it a disposable that you don’t mind losing.”

What not to wear: “Don’t even think about wearing flip flops. You’ll lose them and people will step on your feet.

Don’t go barefoot because of broken glass. Also, don’t wear any jewellery whatsoever, including piercing pieces. Women shouldn’t wear loose fitting tops; the Spanish boys will rip them off! In fact, it might be a good idea to wear two or three layers of tops, so you have a backup if one does get ripped off.”

Avoiding injury: “Wear footwear with good gripping soles. Avoid groups of young males – the pack mentality can make them aggressive. For women, it’s a good idea to have men in your group to help protect from wandering hands. If you are small in stature, it’s better to stand on the fringes where there is more open space, because you could get crushed in the thick of things, particularly when the trucks are rolling past.”

Don’t bank on staying in Bunol: “Stay in Valencia for a few days around the festival. It’s only about 40km from Buñol, and there are buses and trains that run between the two. There are plenty of hostels and hotels, and lots to do. It’s nearly impossible to get accommodation in Buñol. Don’t waste your time looking.”

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make the trip to La Devesa – also confusingly known as La Dehesa – which is a short bus ride or a half-hour walk from the city. Take the ‘Yellow Bus’, departing from the train station, to Perello; tickets cost €1.20 (about 99p). The walk, through a secluded pine forest and past a small lake, is worth the journey before you even reach the golden, clean sands and warm waters of the beach. Bordered by lush forests and near Albufera Lake, this is a truly stunning location. Head to the right at the beach and join the nudists, or stick to the left if you don’t fancy airing your wares. If you prefer a beach with a bit more life, just get off the bus slightly earlier at the well-served resort of El Saler. valencia.costasur.com Words: Azzam Alkadhi ❚

Beach life: a world away from the fest

Tarantino-esque: gallons of gunge

TOMATO TALES THE MEANING OF THE MADNESS Why exactly do 40,000+ people throw tomatoes at each other in Buñol every August?

The origins of La Tomatina are shrouded in mystery, with seemingly every local giving their own take on the festival.

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, turisvalencia.es

Some say La Tomatina began with a fight between some youths who overturned a vegetable cart, while others claim it started as a way to humiliate a bad musician.

Perhaps the most satisfying explanation is that the tomato throwing originated as an honest, if unsophisticated, political protest against unpopular councilmen.

Whatever the truth, La Tomatina was temporarily banned under Francisco Franco for having no religious significance, perhaps part of the reason for its renewed exuberance when first revived in the Seventies.

Nowadays, it is estimated that more than 40 tonnes of tomatoes are thrown at the festival.

The tomatoes have to be squashed before throwing to prevent too many black eyes.

Despite there being no fathomable reason for the food fight, it seems you can’t keep a good tradition down. Hurrah!

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Albufera lagoon: a pocket of peace and (below) local fare

NEXT WEEK Into the Amazon: With piranhas and giant anacondas

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COACH? CAMP? HOTEL? FLIGHT? The choice is yours!

JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIEST AND LARGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD! 28-30 Aug – great value tours from just £14 5! ✔ 3 or 4* hotels in superb central Valencia position ✔ Great breakfasts ✔ Welcome party ✔ Transfer to tomato fight Bunol ✔ Fully escorted by experienced PP guides ✔ Souviner t-shirt

We are the largest UK operator to Munich and cover the entire fest (22 Sept - 7 Oct) ✔ Coach tours from £229 ✔ Accom only camping from £99 ✔ Hotel packages from £219

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*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.643, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

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TRAVEL

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