TNT Magazine / Issue 1508

July 23-29 2012 Issue 1508 tntmagazine.com ne.com

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OLYMPICS SPECIAL Top 10 athletes to watch Interview: Steve Hooker Golden girl Casey Eastham

AVOIDING THE GAMES Yes, it is possible. We tell you how and where

BEER WE GO! BEER WE GO! How to have the most epic Oktoberfest ever

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E R E H E R ’ THEY

we meant? k in th u o y wn. What did to in e r a s r te e Bondi Hips th t, h ig r s t’ Tha

+ TOP 5 DANGEROUS DESTINATIONS LATE DEALS

DARK KNIGHT RISES REVIEW SURVIVE IN THE WILD TNT 1508 Cover.indd 1

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“The best way to travel.

Great guides, service and a fantastic experience.

It was awesome!”

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER So, they’re finally here. The Games have arrived, bringing with them an estimated one million extra visitors to the capital. If this sounds like your idea of hell, flick to P8 for the top 21, non-sports-related events in London.

Or, if you’re ready to dive into the Olympics head-first, we’ve got everything in this issue you need – from the Games schedule to the top 10 athletes to keep an eye on. Let us know if we’ve missed your favourite. Email carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4

LONDONNEWS

6

LONDONLISTINGS

8

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

12 14-15

@TNT LONDON SOUND

24-25

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

26-27

SPOTTED

23

COMPETITION

28

CHATROOM LUCY PORTER

29

LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

30-31 36

LIFESTYLE

37-45

SHOPPING

37

58

OLYMPICS FEATURES SO HIP RIGHT NOW

32

Australia’s YouTube sensations, the Bondi Hipsters, are here for the Games

HEALTH & BEAUTY

38-39

A HARD ROAD

CAREERS

40-41

LIVING

44-45

Australian pole vaulter Steve Hooker has had to fight his way back into form

TRAVEL

61

DIARY

62

NEWS

63

LATE DEALS

66

TOP FIVE

68,71

TIPS & STUFF

72-73

SHORTBREAK

74-76

HOTSHOTS 48 HOURS IN... NAPLES Photos: hot otos: G Getty tty ty

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CLASSIFIEDS CL C LAS AS DE D DES DESPERATELY SPER SEEKING

67 78-79 89-113 114

GAMES SCHEDULE

48

52

50

Keep track of when and where your favourite athletes are competing

GOING FOR GOLD

52

Ten athletes to watch, from weightlifter Holley Mangold to hurdler Lolo Jones

OLYMPICS NEWS

54

The latest developments as we enter the final week of London 2012 countdown

STICKING IT TO ’EM

58

Hockeyroos golden girl Casey Eastham on what it’s going to take to finish first

48 48 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Oliver Jones DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke

LONDONDIARY

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Booze and balls: how sport should be

Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad Social Media Coordinator Dan Thorne SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair | Marie Smith Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com WHERE TO GET TNT

Shhh... SECRET LONDON NO SWEAT SPORTS DAY QUEEN OF HOXTON

Training six days a week to tone your body into peak physical condition does sound like a lot of hard work. If you favour competition done with a beer in hand, then this silly sports day, hosted by The Social Athletics Club, is a must. There are 10 teams comprising 50 competitors in 15 sporting events including the world series of pong, tiddly winks, a staring contest, exotic-fruit bowling and the slippery slide. A BBQ and summer cocktails will keep the energy levels up. Sportswear is mandatory, though.

FREE

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Sat, July 28. 12pm-8pm 1-5 Curtain Road, EC2A 3JX

Shoreditch High Street

BEER TASTING FESTIVAL

BOB MARLEY WAY FEST

JIMMY’S SUPPER CLUB

Are you bored of the same lager and ale selection (or seeing Brits chugging away on Foster’s)?

This fest (held on the last weekend of each month) has 15 British beers to sample, with booze experts offering advice and dispensing knowledge, at this riverside venue and its sun-drenched terrrace. We’ll drink to that.

This community street party, held on the titular Bob Marley Way in Lambeth, honours Jamaica’s famous son, as well as celebrating 50 years of Jamaican independence.

The line-up includes Devlin, Gappy Ranks, Sway and Lady Leshurr, with an emphasis on community spirit – the tickets are free, but you need to be a local.

This month-long pop-up restaurant specialises in five-course banquets boasting the best of British produce, all in themed evenings including ‘Dodgeball And Dinner’ and ‘Sunday Brunch Sports Club Day’. As well as the exquisite grub, there’s movie screenings (Cool Runnings!), DJs, art exhibitions, cocktails galleries and more.

Mon, July 29. 1pm-5pm SE24 0LP Brixton marleyway.com

Until Aug 20. Times vary Annex East, E15 2JE Stratford annexeast.co.uk

£24

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

00 4

queenofhoxton.com

July 28: 12pm-5pm, 6pm-11pm July 29: 1pm-6pm Terrace Bar, W2 1NB Waterloo TheCraftBeerSocialClub.co.uk

FREE

£32+

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The Tang is strong with this lot

BT LONDON LIVE

Hyde Park and Victoria Park Sod the rain and get involved with some outdoor Olympics fun. Running for the duration of the Games, there’s music (including New Order, The Barons Of Tang and The Temper Trap, as well as the Olympics Opening Concert), the action on big screens, and participatory sports, such as badminton and tennis. You can enter a virtual race with Rebecca Adlington at Hyde Park, and go zip-lining or water-zorbing at Victoria Park, where there’s also a 55m tall observation wheel.

FREE

Hyde Park, Jul 28-Aug 11. Victoria Park, July 27-Aug 12. Times vary W2 2UH; E3 5SN Hyde Park Corner; Mile End btlondonlive.com

LAST MILE FESTIVAL

PROJECT X

If you fancy watching the Games while being entertained by top music, theatre, cabaret and more, while also feasting on sublime food and guzzling cocktails made for the summer sun (or English rain), then get along to London’s newest venue.

It boasts all the above and more (the odd event is ticketed, keep in mind).

To uncover the secrets of this twohour immersive theatrical experience, you’ll run around Covent Garden’s surrounds (with a guide) in this “killer concoction of time travel, murder and cryptic clues”. Still unsure exactly what to expect?

Count us in there, too, but not knowing is part of the fun, right?

July 28-Aug 12. Aug 29-Sept 9 E16 2BS Pontoon Dock DLR londonpleasuregardens.com

Weekends until Nov 4. 10am & 4pm WC2E 9DD Covent Garden ltmuseum.co.uk

FREE

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£30

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LONDONNEWS TAXI DRIVER TURNS CAB INTO HOTEL A cabbie has come up with a novel way of solving the Olympic hotel dilemma: visitors can sleep in his cab for £50.

Londoner David Weekes feared busy traffic during the Games and special road lanes only for VIPs would mean fewer taxi fares. So he’s converted his traditional black taxi into a cosy single bed with a Union Jack blanket.

Weekes said some taxi drivers in the capital think working throughout the Olympics will be “a total waste of time” because of the congestion. But others like himself will be on duty.

I’m not allowed to publicly admit that I will be singing at the closing ceremony.”

Russell Brand addresses rumours he’ll be performing at the Olympic in London

ATHLETES GET LOST EN ROUTE TO PARK Getting lost in London is easy to do if you’re new in town.

That was the lesson learned by US and Aussie athletes when they went on a fourhour mystery tour getting from Heathrow to the capital. Untrained bus drivers took in the sights as they made their way to Stratford, via Buckingham Palace.

The lost drivers were meant to follow the new M4 dedicated Olympics lane but instead drove through the back roads.

ON THE TUBE

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Flying high: Performers entertain the New Zealand athletes at the welcome ceremony

Sex And The Village...

Competitors reveal London Olympics could be raunchiest yet If you thought competing at the Games was all about hard work, think again.

Tales of shenanigans at the living quarters for 10,000 competitors have always abounded, and London doesn’t look as if it will be any different.

US women’s football goalkeeper Hope Solo has dished the dirt about serious partying at the Beijing Games.

“There’s a lot of sex going on at the Olympics,” she told the Daily Mirror.

“I may have snuck a celebrity into my Beijing room without anybody knowing and snuck him back out. But that’s my Olympic secret.”

British beach volleyball player Shauna Mullin agreed sexual appetites run high while competing: “The Olympics is the

height of your career, so you might do some things you don’t usually do.”

Most, like Mullin, will restrain from going too far, aware they’re in the international spotlight. Still, there’s no need to be prudish, according to the man overseeing the health of the Brazilian team. “(Sex) is common at the Olympics. It’s necessary. It’s natural,” Dr Joao Olyntho Machado Neto said.

“If you are going to be healthy people, why not make sex? ... Brazil is very tolerant with sex as a country. We don’t have Victorian minds and we’re not religious.”

A record 150,000 condoms have been made available to the athletes – working out to 15 each and 50,000 more than were given to competitors in Beijing.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEK’S WORKS

WATERLOO: Trains will be running until 1am until Sunday, August 12, to meet the extra demand during the Games.

ALL OTHER LINES: The Tube and DLR services will run until about an hour later during the Olympics. Last trains from central London will leave around 1.40am.

STATIONS: TfL will close stations at certain times during the day to cope with overcrowding. Check before you leave.

WEBSITE: For the latest Olympic travel

6

Photos: Getty

news, log on to getaheadofthegames.com

Hmmm. This week in London ... let’s think what could possibly be in town ... Of course! The Games are finally here – get ready to get squashed on the Tube.

Something to listen out for is the new Olympics track by The Chemical Brothers, released on July 30.

The duo, who have sold millions of records since their 1995 debut, composed Theme For Velodrome which will be the soundtrack to the track cycling events.

Tom Rowlands (pictured right with Ed Simons) said: “I have always made a connection between electronic music and cycling repetition. We’re really excited to hear it in situ.”

It is one of five official songs which will be played throughout sports sessions at official venues.

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Not all fun and Games For some, the ‘O’ word is a dirty one. But there’s plenty more in London to keep you entertained. And not an athlete in sight WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

ito ”

It may seem as though the entire city is about to drown under a tsunami of Olympics- and Paralympics-related events, but if you yearn to avoid riding that wave, there are alternatives to barricading yourself indoors and throwing your TV out the window.

Take, for example, another showcase of human endeavour – but light years from the Olympics – The Royal Family Of Strange People, bringing its collection of freaks and horror to the Southbank Centre until September 29.

The show, part of London Wonderground festival, is hosted by Byron Bay’s Space Cowboy and features the likes of Gary Stretch, who can pull the skin of his neck until it covers his entire face; Australian Zoe L’Aore, the Princess of Pain, who will cover her body in animal traps; and the clawed, greenscaled, split-tongued Lizard Man. Icing the freak show cake is Space Cowboy himself, who lists among his talents the ability to swallow 27 swords at once and drag weights with hooks in his eye sockets. He will, at the Southbank show, swallow a 65cm 2000w neon tube that will illuminate his body from within, allowing the audience an appetising look at his insides.

”We’re people just like anyone else and this show is a celebration not only of strange people, but of fantastic performers,” Space Cowboy says. “It’s rare that people get to see anything this bizarre and we’re aiming to bring together the biggest collection of human oddities ever seen.”

Also comfortingly un-sporty is the new Pop Spot Festival, a celebration of London’s ever-fashionable popup events, from garage galleries to teahouse theatres. The festival, which runs in August, will be the first time these diverse one-off events have been brought together under one umbrella.

“The highlight won’t be a single event,” WeArePopUp CEO Nicholas Russell says. “It will be that more people than ever will experience a cultural evolution that has, in the past, been slightly inaccessible.”

So far the line-up so far includes a sustainability exhibition by Aussie Ben Disney and Brit Liam Muckelston and a supper club by Jimmy Garcia of Wild And Foraged Food Kitchen fame.

“Pop-ups turn the everyday into the unique,” Russell says. “The Pop Spot Festival is a chance to see a hidden London; more rooftop restaurants and

shipping container shops than billboards and stadiums.”

Meanwhile, foodies should start salivating over a new project by the team behind the hugely popular food nightmarket, Long Table. Launching on August 3, Feast will serve gourmet street food in unusual locations, and will feature bands, DJs and art installations.

It all kicks off with food scenesters such as St John’s (expect pig’s head stew), Yum Bun (Taiwanese street food) and Big Apple Hot Dogs creating a gastronomic orgy at Guy’s Quadrangle in London Bridge.

Organiser Lottie Campbell says Feast will further improve on the creativity and colour of Long Table. “We want the same kind of feel, but the sites will be bigger and the food more experimental,” she adds.

Better than the Olympics? “So much more fun,” Campbell promises. “And you get fed.”

Ta

MORE NON-GAMES EVENTS ››

The Royal Family Of Strange People SE1 8XX Waterloo southbankcentre.co.uk The Pop Spot Various location thepopspot.com Feast SE1 9RT London Bridge wefeast.co.uk

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Don’t sneeze: The Space Cowboy

Tasty treats: Feast

Reptillian: Lizard man TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TÊTE À TÊTE OPERA FESTIVAL RIVERSIDE STUDIOS The Tête à Tête opera festival aims to push the boundaries of the genre with productions such as Mike The Headless Chicken, based on the story of a US chicken who lived for 18 months after his head was chopped off. If you take the plunge and decide you still aren’t an opera fan, at least you’ll be in a pleasant riverside location with a bar.

Dress as a princess or frog to get in free.

SPITALFIELDS INTERNATIONAL FOOD FESTIVAL SPITALFIELDS

£6

Aug 2-19. Times vary Riverside Studios, W6 9RL Hammersmith tete-a-tete.org.uk

A showcase of the market’s diverse restaurants, bars and cafes.

It’s all part of a wider series of events put on by Alternative Arts, also behind Spitalfield’s Alternative Fashion Week and puppet festival.

FREE

July 21-Sept 9. Times vary Brushfield St, E1 6AA Liverpool St alternativearts.co.uk

NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL NOTTING HILL Europe’s biggest street festival is a hectic, noisy celebration of Caribbean culture and is something every Londoner should experience. The streets will be transformed as steel-drum bands, befeathered dancers and colourful floats wind their way from Great Western Road to Ladbroke Grove. In addition, there are more than 40 static sound systems and food and drink stands galore.

FREE

Aug 26-27. 9am-7pm Through Notting Hill, Westbourne Grove and Ladbroke Grove thenottinghillcarnival.com

ROLLERSKIING HYDE PARK

ROOFTOP CRAZY GOLF SELFRIDGES

What better way to avoid the Games than by taking up a nonOlympic sport? Rollerskiing is like cross-country skiing, except you don’t need snow, and your skis have wheels.

Be warned, though, it’s hard work – be prepared to sweat.

If the sun shines, head to Selfridge’s roof for an eccentric British tea party, complete with a cake-based nine-hole golf course designed by Bompas and Parr. Each jelly, icing and fondant-clad hole represents a London landmark.

Thurs 6.15pm, Sat 11.30am Hyde Park, Battersea Park Richmond Park rollerski.co.uk

Until Sept 2. 12pm-7pm W1A 1AB Bond St style.selfridges.com

£24

THE TROJAN HORSE, ARMAGEDDON, ORESTES THE SCOOP

£6

POP! FASHION AND TEXTILE MUSEUM

Greek tragedies The Trojan Horse, Agamemnon and Orestes have been turned into three one-hour plays as part of The Scoop’s ‘10 years of free theatre’ celebrations.

If you think Greek tragedy is over your head, be heartened that these performances include musical numbers, dancing and lots of bad puns.

INDIAN SUMMER POP-UP GARDEN CAROM, SOHO

YOKO ONO: TO THE LIGHT SERPENTINE GALLERY

Escape the dismal weather in this exotic indoor garden in the middle of Soho. Sip cocktails and try Indian snacks amid flowers, floating candles and jewel-toned drapes.

This is Ono’s first London exhibition for 10 years and will include installations, performances and film. Some pieces require undertaking physical or mental tasks. Trippy, man.

The Pop! Design, Culture And Fashion exhibition examines the impact of music, art and personality on fashion. Take a style journey from the poodle skirts and embellished leathers of the Fifties through to Seventies kitsch and the punk era. Highlights include items from Elton John’s wardrobe and originals from Vivienne Westwood’s and Malcolm McLaren’s Sex store.

July 5-Aug 5. From 6.30pm More London, SE1 2DB London Bridge, Tower Hill morelondon.com

Until Aug 31 W1F ODN Tottenham Court Road meza-soho.co.uk

Until Sept 9. 10am-6pm Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA Knightsbridge serpentinegallery.org

July 6-Oct 27. Tues-Sat, 11am-6pm 83 Bermondsey Street, SE1 3XF London Bridge ftmlondon.org

FREE

10

FREE

FREE

£7

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SOUTH WEST FOUR FESTIVAL CLAPHAM COMMON

SUPERHUMAN WELLCOME COLLECTION

The giant electronic music festival is this year headlined by Chase & Status, Carl Cox, Skrillex and Public Enemy.

It’s now a two-dayer and sound systems will be turned off at 10pm instead of 9pm. Recently awarded DJ Magazine’s ‘Best British Festival’ award, SW4 is promising a messy party, come rain or shine.

This exhibition looks at how we take for granted human enhancements, such as glasses, lipstick, false teeth and the contraceptive pill. It explores how, in the future, cognitive enhancers and medical nanorobots may be commonly used to increase our beauty, intelligence and health. Items on display include an ancient Egyptian prosthetic toe and there are contributions from those working at the cutting edge of this often-feared area of modern science.

£52

Aug 25-26. 12pm-10pm SW4 9DE Clapham Common southwestfour.com

FREE

DESIGNING 007: FIFTY YEARS OF BOND STYLE BARBICAN CENTRE It’s 50 years since James Bond seduced his first femme fatale and saved the world. This exhibition explores the processes behind his iconic image, including costumes, set and production design, cars, motion graphics, exotic locations, stunts and props. A highlight will undoubtedly be the gadgets and weapons made for Bond and his assorted opponents by special effects experts. £12

July 19-Oct 16. Mon to Sat 10am-6pm; Sun 12pm-6pm 183 Euston Road, NW1 2BE Euston wellcomecollection.org

July 6-Sept 5. 11am–8pm (Thurs until 10pm) Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS Barbican barbican.org.uk/bond

SALSA LESSONS SPITALFIELDS

SPAMALOT HAROLD PINTER THEATRE

Maria, a professional dancer from Brazil, guides even novices through the basics of salsa in the open air. The lesson is followed by free-style dancing. For the unselfconscious only!

‘Lovingly ripped off’ from Monty Python And The Holy Grail, Spamalot is a new version of the musical that tells the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

Satisfyingly gory, but impressively educational, the latest offering from the team behind Gunther von Hagens’ Body Worlds gives animals the under-the-skin treatment.

One hundred specimens, including giraffes, octopuses, elephants and ostriches, allow you to explore the biology and physiology of some of the world’s most spectacular creatures.

Exhibits are real carcasses, their fluids replaced with a hard polymer.

Selected Thursdays until Aug 31.

6.30pm-8.30pm Spitalfields, E1 6AA Liverpool St spitalfields.co.uk

July 25-Sept 9. Tues-Sat 7.30pm; Wed and Sat 2.30pm; Sun 5pm Panton Street, SW1Y 4DN Piccadilly Circus spamalotontour.co.uk

April 6-Sept 16. 10am-5.30pm Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD South Kensington nhm.ac.uk

FREE

ANIMAL INSIDE OUT NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM £9

£15

LONDON MELA FESTIVAL GUNNERSBURY PARK

ABIGAIL’S PARTY WYNDHAM THEATRE

SNORKEL WITH SHARKS SEALIFE

Mike Leigh’s play about the pretensions of the British middle class achieved cult status with the 1977 screen version. However, Abigail’s Party is equally enjoyable, in an awkward way, on stage.

Neither sand tiger, black-tip reef nor Browns sharks have any interest in the Olympics, so you will be spared such conversation when you encounter these creatures at London’s aquarium.

This celebration of Asia marks its 10th year as a London festival with a carnival, mechanical menagerie, a concert by the Philharmonia Orchestra and a fireworks finale. Also expect DJs, street art, dance, comedy, food and a massive funfair, all spread across nine zones. Mela is very familyfriendly, so don’t plan too much debauchery, though.

Until Sept 1. 7.45pm Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0DA Leicester Square delfontmackintosh.co.uk

Ongoing. 6.30pm-8.30pm County Hall, SE1 7PB Westminster, Waterloo visitsealife.com

Sun, Aug 19. 1pm-9pm Gunnersbury Park, W3 ELQ Acton Town londonmela.org

FREE

£39

£125

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MYLONDON

MARK JANKEL CHEF & CO-FOUNDER, STREET KITCHEN What baffles me about London is why there is so much bad quality fish for sale and why we export all of our prawns to Europe. Pretty much any prawn on the menu in a restaurant in London will come from Asia.

London’s best-kept secret is Tong Kanom, Kensal Green. At Street Kitchen we’re exploring a new Asian streetfood concept using 100 per cent UK meat and vegetables. This place is inspiring, as it makes really authentic Thai food.

When I want to chill out I go to Primrose Hill Village, from café to café.

Lanka has a nice patisserie and Pink Café makes delicious apple cake.

The most interesting person I’ve met was an Italian waitress who dreams of opening her own place; her passion and personality are astounding. .

My favourite place for a drink is the Cock And Bottle in Notting Hill. It’s a good old-fashioned boozer!

What gets me up in the morning? The market run! We pick up our vegetables from our farm suppliers at the crack of dawn. I love collecting the amazing sustainable UK produce.

Where will you be watching the Olympics from? Luckily, we have huge screens at our original Airstream on Broadgate Circle and at our second pitch at The Book Club Basecamp on in Shoreditch. It looks like we will be watching the Olympics from the Airstream hatch!

My perfect weekend would involve heading down to one of our farm suppliers, going for a long walk in the fields, stopping off for a pub lunch and a couple of pints and then staying the night in a cute B&B.

XXXXXXX /00 XXXXXXXXXXX /00

The biggest faux pas I’ve made was during my time at Notting Hill Brasserie. I used to walk around the tables in the restaurant and talk to the customers every night. One night I said “nice to see you again” to a customer that had come to dinner two nights in a row. I hadn’t noticed that he was with his wife on the first night and his lover the second!

Five words that sum up London ... Diversity, culture, progress, energy, contrast. streetkitchen.co.uk/ wearetbc.com At The Book Club Basecamp pop-up. July 27-Aug 12

12

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Magical: the rooftop bar

BAR THE SCENE Peckham may sport its fair share of upwardly mobile young go-getters, but this south London enclave is far from ‘gentrified’ – a state of affairs neatly encapsulated by Frank’s Cafe and Campari Bar, which has just reopened. Since 2007, this ungodly popular drinking hole, atop a carpark just off Peckham’s busy Rye Lane, has gone from pop-up to annual institution. Small art installations line the route to the roof, the view from which is bordering on magical. A red canopy covers about a dozen tables and the bar area, but there is plenty of concrete for patrons to spill out across, weather permitting. The crowd is a mix of catalogue models, cyclists and twee primary school teacher types.

THE GRUB Frank’s rotating menu offers fittingly rustic fare for reasonable prices.

Think English fusion tapas, and then stop being so judgemental.

BEHIND THE BAR Frank’s Cafe and Campari Bar is, cunningly, pretty big on campari; there’s a plethora of campari cocktails from the mysterious Red Russia to campari classics such as the Americano. There’s also non-campari cocktails, and draught and bottled lagers and cider.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails and pint from £4; bottled beer from £3.50; wine from £3.20 per glass, £16 per bottle.

VERDICT Frank’s longevity is breeding a sense of comfort it has lacked before. OLIVER JONES

SE125 4ST

frankscafe.org.uk

3 OF THE BEST SPORTS BARS

14

Brockley

Peckham Rye

FAMOUS 3 KINGS

BAR KICK

With 13 screens, pool tables, leather couches and cheap drinks and food (check out the two-meals-for-£10 deal), this Fulham bar is perfect to meet mates at and shout about the Olympic Games in true sports-fan fashion.

Have a competitive side?

Play some foosball in Shoreditch while sampling some of Bar Kick’s unique cocktails and drinks from around the world, and watching the Olympics on its many TVs.

f3k-london.co.uk

cafekick.co.uk

SPORTS BAR AND GRILL With an extensive British menu that hits all of your cravings (and has reasonably priced drinks), this Farringdon bar has a great atmosphere that caters to boisterous sports fans and families alike. sportsbarandgrill.co.uk

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BITE SIZE

Minimalist: warehouse chic decor

SMELL THE COFFEE When you’re hankering for that morning cup of coffee, add a little Columbian culture with your cream and sugar. A pop-up Coffee Hacienda, with the black stuff being imported straight from Columbia, is brewing in Victoria Station, in honour of the Olympics. So, grab a sample of Columbian caffeine on your way to work and find out more about the country itself, courtesy of the Columbian Tourist Board. Until July 26. colombia.travel

JAMAICA MARKS 50 YEARS Celebrate 50 years of Jamaican independence on August 5 at Hideaway in Streatham. The venue will be screening live the Olympics 100m final – hoping Usain Bolt, pictured,, will hold on to the Jamaican title of world’s fastest man. Either way, dance the night away listening to mento, ska and reggae tunes from “one of the UK’s leading good-time bands” Jazz Jamaica. Doors open at 7pm and tickets cost £20. hideawaylive.co.uk

DINE AROUND THE WORLD To celebrate the Games, Global Feast is offering a four-course meal every night for 20 days. Tuck into dishes prepared by British chefs at the temporary Stratford location on July 27, while sitting around a giant sculpture of the world. Each banquet will serve up different cuisines – ending with Brazilian to mark the 2016 Olympics on August 13. From £55.

DABBOUS EXPERIMENTAL THE SCENE This is the brainchild of chef Ollie Dabbous – revered for his experimental cuisine – and has become one of the most talked-about restaurants in London. The interior boasts minimalist warehouse-chic decor – uncovered lightbulbs hang from ropes; there’s a bare concrete floor; and exposed ducts run along the ceiling. There’s a masculine-styled area on the lower floor, with leather chairs, wooden benches and a concrete bar. The venue is like something you’d find in the meatpacking district of New York, and although it may sound pretentious, it’s actually very cool.

Dabbous is not the preserve of the super-trendy, though – there are young couples, groups of friends, old marrieds – and not a pair of skinny jeans in sight.

THE GRUB If anything, the understated design means our attention is focused on the food. This is an upmarket affair, and, fittingly, there’s a sommelier on hand to help choose our wine. We order the tasting menu – eight courses of tiny works of art unlike anything that has passed our lips before: alliums in a chilled pine infusion (sweet onions in a delicious broth); coddled free-range hen egg with woodland mushrooms and smoked butter in a shell on a bed of straw; braised halibut with lemon verbena; and barbecued Iberico pork. We finish off with the chocolate ganache basil moss served with sheep’s-milk ice cream, which is amazing, and designed to look like a small piece of forest. The entire evening, from food and drink to service and atmosphere, is faultless – this is a proper dining experience.

A funky cocktail list offers bespoke drinks, including a beer mix that works incredibly well. There’s also reasonably priced champagne, a spot-on selection of top-notch wines, and all the usuals on offer.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £6; mains from £12; desserts from £4; cocktails from £8.50; wine from £5.50 a glass; champagne from £7 a glass.

VERDICT After dining here, going back to burger and chips will seem incredibly dull.

Just go and try – you won’t regret it. CAROL DRIVER BEHIND THE BAR

globalfeast2012.com 39 Whitfield St, W1T 2S

dabbous.co.uk

Goodge Street

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LETTER OF THE WEEK At last, it’s here. I’ve been waiting for the Olympics for the past three years. The hype has been incredible, but I’m sure London will more than live up to all the expectation. This is it, the main event, the big show and we’re right amongst it. Some Londoners may complain about Tube crowding, annoying tourists and bad traffic, but, really, is there anywhere else in the world you’d rather be right now?

Omar, via email

MONKEY BIZZ I really hate the Games logo. It’s like London’s Olympic swastika. It reflects the vibrant artistic skills of a dyslexic colourblind chimp. But I shouldn’t say that. It’s a bit insulting to the chimps.

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GET SECURE RE: NZ prostitutes damaging road signs by pole dancing (tntmagazine.com): Get some better poles!

Galvanised 48mm scaffold pole costs about 50p per foot depending on quality and thickness. For extra strength, fill it the bottom few feet with cement or concrete. Not exactly rocket science, is it?

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NAKED WORDS Re: the naked rambler (tntmagazine.com): he gets given more time in jail for being naked than criminals charged with vicious assault, drug

dealers, fraudsters hacking into bank accounts, rapists, paedophiles and those who were charged with the violence, vandalism and looting that made London a dangerous place to be during the riots ... a lot more worrying than someone who doesn’t care about us having to endure seeing his bits hanging around the place.

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LET’S JUMP Thank you for the informative article on the top five must-dos in South Africa (TNT 1506).

All fabulous things to see and do! I would add the challenge of bungy jumping off Bloukran’s Bridge – the highest bungy in the world at 216m! Exhilarating, exciting and ever-sobloody-terrifying, but totally worth the buzz and the adrenaline rush (after you are successfully hurled safely back up, of course).

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Clockwise: The Irish; the 02; African Rythym; Kiwi muso Hollie Smith

Caption 18

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Around the world in Olympic parties Competing countries are vying for your attention during the Games. We check out the best WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

If you haven’t got tickets for the London 2012 event of your dreams, don’t fear. Across the capital, competing countries will be battling not only to win medals, but to wow you with lavish entertainment that will go a long way to compensate for not being at the Olympic Park.

As opening ceremonies become increasingly elaborate, so, too, do the displays put on by national hospitality houses.

This year, London will be populated with a pan-African village, a Russian ice park, New Zealand music nights, a Brazilian arts extravaganza and Holland’s Heineken House, among other multicultural showcases. These hospitality hubs are there in part to act as a media base for Olympic teams, but PR teams will also be aiming to dazzle visitors with their country’s desirability. Lots of it is free, so don’t miss out.

A taste of New Zealand, King‘s Cross New Zealanders can celebrate their nation‘s Olympic efforts at Kiwi House, a plant-filled party venue. If the weather plays along, you’ll be able to sit outside, drink a Moa beer and scoff BBQ food prepared by top New Zealand chef Peter Gordon. To remind you what this is all about, NZ‘s Olympic events will be shown live on a big screen.

“The environment is right for us to have some spontaneous guest appearances from famous Kiwis who are well aware of the huge effort the New Zealand community here in London have gone to to pull this together,” Melissa Gilmour of event producers Lily & Piper says. “It is important, because London is a second home for New Zealanders.”

Apart from meeting the athletes, who will visit to greet fans and, possibly, partake in a sly beer or two, a highlight of Kiwi House will be the music and entertainment programme.

It includes singer-songwriter Hollie Smith, stand-up comic Jarred Christmas and Auckland DJ/ producer Scratch 22. You should also prepare for some off-programme wildcards.

1 Granary Sq, N1 1FA

Mornington Cres

the eyes of the general public and the eight million visitors expected during the Games,“ ANOCA president Intendant Lassana Palefno says.

Highlights include Ethiopian drumming, an Algerian singer, bands from Morocco, and a Senegalese guitarist.

You can watch the sporting events live and any triumphant medallists will make their way straight to a stage in the village to give interviews, sign autographs and soak up the admiration.

W8

High St Kensington

africa-village.com

The Russians are coming, Kensington Gardens Russia is on a mission to ramp up enthusiasm for the country ahead of its hosting of the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics.

Taking over Kensington Gardens, the nation is creating a 10,000sqm Russia Park in Perks Field As well as a frenzy of traditional music, craft, dancing and food, the venue will host the biggest Russian contemporary music festival ever in London and will feature rock and pop stars, DJs and jazz groups.

While Russia Park celebrates summertime, the country is also creating the adjacent Sochi Park, transforming the ››

olympic.org.nz

Africa arrives in London, Kensington Gardens The first ‘continental house‘ in Olympic Games history is a joint venture from the 53 National Olympic Committees of Africa, including South Africa. An entire Africa Village will feature stands highlighting the culture of each country in a series of free music, dance, fashion and theatre performances “This will be an exceptional showcase for our continent in

Contemporary Brazilian art TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise: Bob Marley; The Big Chill bar; Dutch supporters; The Russians

Albert Memorial into a Russian winter wonderland. Sochi Park will boast a multi-purpose sports zone containing a mini ice rink that converts to a football pitch, a snowboarding simulator, ice curling tracks and much more.

“There‘ll be a pretty sweet 4D chairlift ride simulation up the Sochi Mountains and down again; as though you‘re skiing the Olympic tracks,” Seraphima Onofrei from Eventica, which has co-organised the parks, says.

“Also, there's the ice show at Sochi Park Ice Arena, starring 25 Olympic and World Ice Skating champions.

It’s going to be pretty spectacular.”

W8

South Kensington

russiasochipark.com

Gotta love the Irish, King‘s Cross

N1 9NL

King‘s Cross

irishhouse-london2012.com

Best of the rest • Holland: More boozy hospitality is promised by the Holland Heineken House, based in Alexandra Palace. Here, giant orange tents will house places to eat, watch the Games 20

Wood Green

N22 7AY

hollandheinekenhouse.nl

• Brazil: Over at Somerset House at the Strand, Brazil’s Casa Brasil will be the culmination of hefty programme of events from the country that will host the summer Olympics in 2016, and will include an exhibition of contemporary Brazilian art.

Brazil’s ‘Rio Occupation London’ is already in full swing with 30 Rio artists putting on performances in arts and non-arts spaces across London.

WC2R 1LA

Temple

somersethouse.org.uk; riooccupationlondon.com

• Jamaica: The Caribbean nation is serving up back-to-back entertainment, taking over The 02 in Greenwich peninsula with food, fashion and music during the day and live acts and dancing at night. Jamaica-themed exhibitions – including Messenger: Bob Marley – run concurrently in the arena. If Usain Bolt takes home a medal, this will be the party to be at. Better be quick, then.

North Greenwich

SE10 0DX

jamaicahouse2012.com

• France: There’s more international food, drink and music to be had at the French House, Old Billingsgate, which is open to the public during the day.

EC3R 6

Monument

lubfranceolympique.com

• Germany: The German House is hosting a Fan Fest for visitors to mix with athletes at the Museum of London Docklands, while German VIPs hang out on five-star cruise liner in nearby West India Docks.

E14 4AL

West India Quay DLR

london.diplo.de

• Italy: Casa Italia, the Italian House, at The Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre, in Westminster, will be out to impress visitors with displays of the country’s food and wine.

SW1P 3EE

Westminster

qeiicc.co.uk

Photos: Ana Mokarzel; Getty; Stephen Langdon, James Gifford; TNT

Housed in The Big Chill bar, Ireland House is within staggering distance from the Kiwi celebrations and is also promising an Olympic-size party.

“The Irish House is going to be the centre of Irish celebrations and, we hope, the number one party destination during the Olympics,” a spokesman says. “Everyone knows how welcoming and friendly the Irish are and the whole atmosphere of the house will be one of welcome and celebration. It will also act as an ‘out of competition’ base for Team Ireland and we are expecting lots of the athletes to join us and party once their sporting endeavours are over.”

If it’s sunny, you’ll be able to hop from the courtyard of Kiwi House to the roof terrace of the Big Chill House. Screens will show the action throughout the Games and there will be live performances during the day from Irish folk musicians, dancers and singers. A surprise performer will hit the stage each night.

and consume vast amounts of beer. Keep an eye out for performances by some top Dutch DJs.

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JOIN IN THE FUN AND GAMES OPENING CEREMONY Friday 27th July THE EPIC AND ALMIGHTY QUIZ QUIZ,,

FANCY DRESS PARTY! Dress as your sporting hero, prizes for best dressed.

Saturday 4th August

with a slightly athletic feel… Wednesday 1st August

THE EPICALLY ATHLETIC ALMIGHTY QUIZ MKII!

THE GRAND PUB GAMES! All manner of silliness and challenges in the pub setting – find out who will be the ultimate Pub athlete this year… Saturday 11th August

Wednesday 8th August

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/thelarrikinn facebook.com

Cycling Charity Day Saturday 28th July On the day of the Men’s Road Race, we’ll be racing the distance ourselves on exercise bikes! Please join us and support the riders, or get involved yourself!

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RUGBY LEAGUE ON YOUR DOORSTEP Catch the last few home games at the Twickenham Stoop

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Best-ish of British: Snow Patrol lead the charge

festival

watch

V FESTIVAL

OLYMPICS OPENING CONCERT Hyde Park, W2 4RU FRIDAY, JULY 27 | DOORS AT 4PM | £60

Initially Richard Branson’s twin-site festival offshoot, this has become a Brit-fest mainstay and frequently, as this year shows, attracts some of the top acts around. 2012 headliners are The Stone Roses and The Killers (below), with the likes of Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Snow Patrol, David Guetta, Friendly Fires, Tom Jones and, err, Olly Murs.

Indie-pop-rock, at one big summer weekend party. By mid-August, there might be some sun, too.

Hylands Park, Chelmsford, CM2 8WQ. August 18-19. £180 Chelmsford Weston Park, Staffordshire, TF11 8LE. August 18-19. £180 Stafford

vfestival.com

The four corners of Great Britain are represented in this best-of-British show to celebrate the opening of the Games (they’re right here in London, had you not heard?). England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales show what they’re made of, with one band chosen to represent each nation, although perhaps the less said about the English entrant the better.

Snow Patrol continue to show why they are a favourite, festival mainstay act, by adding this glossy show to their summer 2012 resume. It’s indie-pop skewed – more so with each album – towards the latter, but, like Coldplay’s Fix You, when Chasing Cars kicks in, and the mass singalong, too, it’s hard for even the most cynical muso not be moved.

Sterephonics hold up the Welsh end, and are sure to belt out classics from their surprisingly wealthy back catalogue (10 top 10 hits, and a number one).

And where many would have bet that The Proclaimers were a natural shoe-in for the Scottish leg of this show (500 Miles is a jukebox classic the world over), the responsibility for reminding us all about whisky and shortbread falls to pop mumbler Paulo Nutini, and his new shoes, too, probably.

And England? Duran Duran are hardly everyone’s (anyone’s?) ideal band to represent at this best of the Isles of Wonder gig (not now, not even in their Eighties heyday), but here they are. Still, Hungry Like The Wolf and Rio have gone full circle and are fun again and not just in a retro, post-modern, ironic way.

Queensway

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NEW BAND

EDDIE VEDDER GIG JULY 30-31. 7.30PM £37.50

The mane-haired Pearl Jam frontman survived the mud and rain at the Isle of Wight festival, and showed Springsteen’s not the only one who can do epic sets of grandeur. He holes up here, sans-band, for two solo shows, and is set to draw from his Ukulele Songs album and prettydamn-ace Into The Wild soundtrack.

Hammersmith Apollo 45 Queen Caroline Street, W6 9QH Hammersmith hammersmithapollo.net

A LOVE FROM OUTER SPACE

EAST VILLAGE PRESENTS MARK FARINA

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, JULY 28. 2PM-2AM £8+

SAT, JULY 28. 9PM-3AM £7+

Slide presents this terrace-based bash and promises an all-day party, with the likes of producer, DJ and all-round superstar Andrew Weatherall as special guest. Promising to never knowingly exceed 122bpm, this Love will be “an oasis of slowness in a world of increasing velocity”.

San Francisco house legend Mark Farina drops by to play a three-hour set, and in such intimate surrounds, too. Support on the night comes from none other than Faithless’s Maxi Jazz (who presumably ‘still can’t get no sleep’).

He’s playing a rare DJ set, along with Greg Belson and Tim Keenoy, as well.

Brixton Clubhouse 467 Brixton Road, SW9 8HH Brixton brixtonclubhouse.com

East Village 89 Grat Eastern Road, EC2A 3HX Old Street eastvillageclub.com

RESPECT JAMAICA 50 FESTIVAL

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WED, JULY 25. 7PM £15

Celebrating 50 years of Jamaican independence, this week-long fest boasts musicians, film, comedy, special one-off exhibitions and artists of all kinds. Jimmy Cliff, Lee Scratch Perry, Toots and the Maytals, and Damian ‘son of Bob’ Marley, who’s added an extra date, are some highlights at this multi-venue extravaganza.

Electro, hip-hop, breakbeat producer/DJ Krafty Kuts hits this south London DJ bar for a special show. He’s out on the road this summer in support of his second long-player, Let’s Ride, out earlier this year, which assauged any fears its two-year gestation had given fans, who adorned it instant-classic status.

New York indie-poppers bring their razor-sharp tunes to town (with former Razorlight drummer Andy Burrows sitting in the sticksman role – a far better job than tub thumping for his still-trying-to-keep-it-going former band). We Are... will be hitting the tracks from last album Barbara, as well as the odd live classic.

Various Various Various respectjamaica50.co.uk

Gigalum 7-8 Cavendish Place, SW4 9DW Clapham Common gigalum.com

The Garage 20-22 Highbury Corner, N5 1RD Highbury & Islington venues.meanfiddler.com

COASTAL CITIES THE BUZZ SO FAR A group of teens singing about youth, both how ace it is and also the constraints that make it simultaneously the best and worst time of your life – this could well be the soundtrack to your summer. Funky rhythms jar with an angular new wave aesthetic and a dance-infused, indie-pop bent. These five school friends from Buckinghamshire have but a clutch of songs and a handful of shows to their name, but they have big name followers like The Drums and Rob Da Bank already.

THE CRITICS SAY “Eighties revival funk molded together with indie rock elements and a bit of groovy sway.” IndieShuffle.com THE PLUG Second single Relief is out Jul 30 through Once Upon A Time records.

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 23 Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich provides Latin house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £7.

FRIDAY 27 Circus London Circus DJs supply house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

11pm-7am. £20, adv £10 & £15, mems £13, NUS £10.

BOOK NOW!

The Detroit Series Part 3 Derrick May, JD Twitch, Waifs And Strays, Jon Rust, Nic Tasker and Dollop DJs provide house, techno and electronica. Netil House, Westgate St, E8 3RL (020 3095 0900).

10pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

Detention Weekly student night featuring house courtesy of Doug Silva and guests.

Ku Bar, Lisle St, WC2H 7BA (020 7437 4303). 10pm-3am. Free.

Jam Hot Duke Etienne, Darren Judge and Cal Jader supply reggae, global underground sounds and electronic bass. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. Free.

Rehab DJ Haley, Zoe Demonette, Dan Udy and Malarky supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/ w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 9.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk, salsa and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028).

9pm-late. £7, concs £4.

Service Industry Night Colin Russell and Donald Sweeneey provide R‘n’B, hip-hop and chart. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm3am. £7, £5 before midnight, w/payslip free before midnight.

Swing Cats Jam Resident DJs spin swing, jazz and retro, plus dance lessons with Robert and Claire Austin. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). 9pm-11pm. £6.

TUESDAY 24 Balearic Amir Groove and Nick Tcherniak supply deep, vocal and Balearic house to evoke the spirit of Ibiza.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, guestlist free.

Havana Club Resident DJs supply Cuban beats, with dance classes available.

Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609).

7.30pm-1pm. £4, mems £3, classes and club £8, NUS £6.

TTGUM DJs PDP, Rage and Mack Spitta spin R‘n’B and hip-hop, plus live performances from Jasmine Knight, Frizz, Skob and Gizmo. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 7.30pm-late. £5.

No Quarter DJs Maz and TV Nights spin rock, indie and electro, plus live performances from Lloyd Yates, Dan Croll, Islander, Dominic Youdan and Matthias Harris. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £8, w/flyer £6.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus supply electro, techno and indie, plus live performances from Parakeet and Novella Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

26

URBAN NERDS CARNIVAL SPECIAL Scala. August 25. £8+ This Notting Hill warm-up party brings the bass, with Breakage & MC Wrec, Mala & Coki, Jackmaster, True Tiger, The Heatwave, Native and more.

N1 9NL

King’s Cross

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WEDNESDAY 25

THURSDAY 26

Cheapskates Resident DJs and guests supply indie, electro and old-school vibes.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3.30am. w/flyer £4.50.

Cheezy Thursdays DJs Watty Jnr OBE and Back 2 Basic Sound spin R‘n’B, chart, dance and retro.

Porky’s Wine Bar, Sternhold Ave, SW2 4PA (020 8671 3424). 9pm2am. £5, free before midnight.

Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist NUS/w/flyer £3, NUS £4.

Contact Steven Geller and guests play dance and chart hits. Barcode Vauxhall, Goding St, SE11 5AW (020 7582 4180).

10pm-3am. £5, NUS £2.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am, £10.

Faded Residents and guests spin hip-hop, dubstep and electronica.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 11pm3am. £5 before 11pm, guestlist £8.

Death2Disco DJs Danny Watson, Nigel Thomas and BlagSound DJs spin indie, punk and rock.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £3, free before 11pm.

Hidden Depths Of Hospital Photek and High Contrast join Hidden Depths Of Hospital to spin trance, house and electronica.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 9pm-late. Adv £5.

Hobson’s Choice Electro, drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep. Release Nightclub, Lewisham Way, SE14 6PP (07543 543597). 9pm-3am. £5.

Hot Rocks Resident DJs spin rock ‘n’ roll, R‘n’B, punk-rock and ska. Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). 10.30pm-2am. Free.

Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave spin bashment and dancehall, plus a live performance from RoxXxan.

The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 7pm-1am. £7, £5 before 10pm, free before 9pm.

Metrolatina Resident DJs mix jazzy salsa with Cuban sounds.

Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 9.30pm2am. £4, free before 9pm.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Filthy Lucre Promotions Presents O Children, The Funeral Suits, Inca Gold and Southern supply indie, rock and electro.

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). 7.30pm-11pm. £5.

Party & Bullsh*t 2 Jungle VIP, DJ Jamurai, Manik, Waffle-King, Grizzle and Mungo spin hip-hop, R‘n’B and jungle. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/cc 020 7428 5929).

9pm-late. £4 & £7.

Encoded Nrg 3rd Birthday Andy Farley, Adam M, Pierce Rooney, Dave Curtis, Wayne Smart, Jake Martin, Gary O’Connor and Boca Byrne spin house and electro.

Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613). 10pm-7am. £10 & £12.

Fabriclive DJs Hype, Pascal, Goldie and guests supply techno, house and electronica.

Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £17, adv £16, mems £12, NUS £10 before midnight, £7 after 3am.

The Gallery Cosmic Gate, W&W, Orjan Nilsen, Dada Life, Damian D Costa, Cole Jonson, Cesar Ruiz, Tom Frampton, Audio Fusion, Ed Smoove, Cal Flynn, Lewis Smith, Alex Zander, Aaron Carter, Stephen Booth, J Nova and Jon Paris spin electro, house, trance and techno. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £14.

Ginglik’s Friday Shakedown Puncture Kit, Jake The Sax, Boom Boom Becker and guests supply electronica, Brazilian street percussion, broken beats, funk, jazzy Latin house and Afrobeat.

Ginglik, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH (020 8749 2310). 9pm-4am. £8, £6 before 10pm, adv £6, mems free.

Hot Wuk Skibadee, The Heatwave and Sticky play dancehall and bashment. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

9.30pm-2.30am. £15, adv £7 & £10.

Huntley & Palmers DJs Ivan Smagghe and Tim Paris mix house and electro. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471).

10pm-4am. £12, adv £10.

Prick Up Your Ears John Sizzle, Dave Kendrick, Juancho & Rob and Kevin Clash spin electro and robot rock on rotation. East Bloc, City Rd, EC1V 1JN (020 7253 0367).

11pm-4am. £5, free before midnight, w/flyer £3 after midnight.

Lost In London Cesar Ruiz, Rachel Harvey, I Am Santiago, DJ Masa and Niroshan spin house, Latin, funk and techno. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

11pm-6am. £15, adv £10.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pmmidnight. £10 inc skates, £7.50 bring your own skates, NUS £6 inc skates.

Soulberries DJs Oliver Garth, Mr Maick and The Gemini Bros spin electro, funk and breaks.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 3pm-11pm. Free.

Vibe DJs on rotation spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, garage, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm.

Vinyl DJ Screwpulous spins pop hits from the last three decades.

Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 6pm-2am. £3, free before 10pm, mems £2.

SATURDAY 28 Afro Acid DJ Pierre, Marshall Jefferson and guests supply house and electronica. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500).

10pm-7am. £15, adv £10.

Connected Audiojack, Deepgroove, No Artificial Colours and guests provide electronica. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

10pm-6am. £15, adv £12.

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East Village & Nice Present Mark Farina, Stuart Patterson and guests spin house, soul, reggae, disco and funk. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3.30am. £10, £8 before 10.30pm, adv £7.

Education R‘n’B DJs provide R‘n’B, hip-hop, bashment, new jack swing and 1980s grooves.

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000).

10pm-6am. £12.50, adv £10.

Fabric Taimur Agha, Terry Francis, Alex Jones, Cedric Maison, Ste Roberts and guests play house and electronica. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, mems £13, NUS £12, £10 after 4am.

Fact Ldn Satoshi Tomiie and Danny Howells supply deep house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-11am. £20, adv £15, mems £13, NUS £10.

Labrynth Presents Residents and guests spin old-school hardcore and classic house. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-6am. £10.

Mellophonik DJs Louie Cut, Minitse, Carl Phill, DJ Linkz, Alex Hutch and Red Wolf mix minimal techno and house.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 5pm-midnight. Free.

Saved Nic Fanciulli, Dennis Ferrer, Deetron, Andrea Oliva, &ME, Mark Fanciulli, Gary Willis, Jack B, Lee Everall, Luminaire, Dav3 Bradshaw, Daine Haughton and Tempo Eterno spin electro and house across four rooms, plus Clio performs live. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £18.

Scandalism Presents The Magician and Mighty Mouse supply electro and alt disco.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 10pm-late. £12.50.

SUNDAY 29 Jaded DJs Raymundo Rodriguez, Unai Trotti and Alex Cliche supply house and techno. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

5pm-1am. £12, concs £8.

Orange The Oli, Paul Martin and The Sharp Boys spin house in room one, while Gonzola Rivas, David Jiminez and Hi Fi Sean provide minimal techno and tech-house in room two.

Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040).

10pm-late. £12, £10 before midnight, w/flyer £5 before 1am.

Pause House, disco, hip-hop, chart, funk and Latin. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-6am. £10.

Star Life!! Chart, R‘n’B and hiphop. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 10pm-3am. gents guestlist £7, ladies guestlist £5, gents £5 before 10.30pm, ladies free before 10.30pm’.

Sunday Krafty Kuts provides house and electronica. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 3pm-11pm. Free.

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MONDAY 23 Africa Utopia: The Vocal Ensemble Of Africa Harmonybased world music the group.

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £15, concs £7.50.

Mika Colourful pop from the flamboyant Lebanon-born singer-songwriter in support of the album The Origin Of Love.Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £22.50.

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Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Damian Marley Jamaican reggae singer and son of Bob Marley. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.

All Eyes On Korea: Yi-MyunGong-Jak The ensemble plays traditional Korean music.

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £10, concs £5.

Arthur Beatrice, Great Waves Indie-rock by the Londonbased band. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £6.50, adv £4.

From The Desert To The Sea World music group from Australia.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £12.

KRS-One The MC performs powerful hip-hop with a political and social bent. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). Adv £20. Also Tue. Mighty Boss Cats Old style blues from guitarist Richard Townend and his band. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

Angie Stone, Omar The American singer-songwriter performs R‘n’B and soul. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.

The Tubes Satirical and shockrock by the San Francisco-based veterans. Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX (0844 873 3433). £25.

TUESDAY 24 Roxanne De Bastion, Tom Rhyland Anti-folk and blues-rock from the singersongwriter. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £6.50, adv £5.

Camber, Sam Monaghan, Jake Watson, Liam Burke, Edwige Folk-rock duo from Philadelphia and London.

Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Dog Is Dead Indie-rock by the Nottingham-based band. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). Adv £7.50.

Excepter The Brooklyn-based band plays semi-improvised experimental electro and noise music. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). Adv £8.

Catherine Feeny Folk singersongwriter from Portland, Oregon. Brunel Engine House, Railway Ave, Rotherhithe, SE16 4LF (020 7231 3840).£12, adv £10.

Gabi And The Whoremoans, The Milkmen Hard rock band from Kenley. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £6, concs £4.50.

Micachu & The Shapes The outfit plays experimental pop with electronic and punk influences. Arcola Tent, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7503 1646). Adv £10.

London Irish Village 2012: The Undertones The five-piece from Derry performs pop-tinted punk hits. Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £17-£34.

FRIDAY 27

AZEALIA BANKS O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. Oct 12. £15 The trash-mouthed Harlemite will have her debut album out by then (hopefully), so it will be make or break time for the former NME cool-list topper.

W12 8TT

Shep Bush

o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

Monae Stacks, Tom Kane, Johnny 10 & Substance, Michael Carpenter, The Lying Kind Hip-hop and rap from the London-based performer.

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). £8, adv £5.

Phreeda Sharp Rap from the London-based performer. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £5.

Soul Rebels Funk band from London. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15.

Yi Loom, John Wean, Vlks Experimental indie from the London-based band.

Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191). £6, adv £5.

Yukon Blonde Alt rock by the band from Vancouver.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £8.

WEDNESDAY 25 Blink 182 The San Diegobased three-piece plays pop-punk in support of the album Neighborhoods.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £35. Also Thu. Nanci Griffith Country and folk from the Texan singersongwriter. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £29.

Holy Mountain, Gum Takes Tooth, Negative Pegasus Contemporary metal by the Glasgow-based band. The Black Heart, Greenland Place, NW1 0AP (020 7428 9730). £6, adv £5.

Pearl And The Beard, A Blossom Fell, Lula Folk-pop and Americana by the New York-based group.

Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 3589 5983). £8.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Lee Scratch Perry, Junior Murvin, Mad Professor Jamaican reggae and dub musician and producer.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£40.

Beth Rowley, Luke Sital-Singh Americana and blues from the Bristol-based singer-songwriter.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). Adv £12.

She Keeps Bees Alt and bluesrock by the New York-based outfit. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). Adv £10.

We Are Scientists The New Yorkbased trio plays indie-rock and post-punk. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

The White Album Folk from the Copenhagen-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £5.

THURSDAY 26 Claudia Aurora The Bristol-based Portuguese singer-songwriter performs Fado music. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £15.

Cornell Campbell And The Soothsayers Roots-rock and reggae from the singer and the band. Hootananny, Effra Rd, SW2 1DF (020 7737 7273). £20, adv £15.

Golden Fur The Melbourne-based experimental and contemporary classical duo performs Morton Feldman’s Patterns In A Chromatic Field. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £7.

Jehst London-based songwriter William G Shields performs hip-hop and rap. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £12.50.

London 2012 Olympic Torch Relay: Olympic Torch Relay Finale Dizzee Rascal headlines this celebratory concert, which also features a performance of the Olympic single by Mark Ronson and Katy B. Other performers include The Wanted, You Me At Six, Eliza Doolittle, Rizzle Kicks, Wretch 32, Morning Parade, Loick Essien and Little Comets. The Olympic Flame is due to arrive in the park shortly before 7pm. Hyde Park, W2 2UH (0845 267 2012). £15.

Ard Adz And Shallow, Jaja Soze, TK, Three Dedicated Brothers, Sara Bleta, Ashleigh K, Desire McNeish, Samira, Rita Ortiz, I Am A Lemon London-based rap and hip-hop duo. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £10.

Deborah Bonham Rock and blues songs from the younger sister of the Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £15.

Dels, Infinite Livez, Offshore Hiphop by the London-based rapper, Kieren Dickins. The Vortex Jazz Club, Dalston Culture House, Gillett St, N16 8JH (020 7254 4097). £10.

Festival Jamaica 2012: Desmond Dekker’s Aces Classic ska from the Jamaican veterans. Maryland Complex, Gurney Rd, E15 1SL (020 3137 3055 ). £15.

Honey Ryder Pop-rock by the London-based band.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £8, adv £7.

London 2012 Olympic Games: Opening Ceremony Celebration Concert Snow Patrol, Stereophonics, Duran Duran and Paolo Nutini celebrate the opening of the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Hyde Park, W2 2UH (0300 061 2000). £60.

London Irish Village 2012: Nanci Griffith Country and folk from the Texan singersongwriter. Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £30-£60.

Drew McConnell, Molly’s Lipps, The Tuts Indie-rock by the Babyshambles member.

The White Lion, Streatham High Rd, SW16 1BB (020 8677 3341). £12.

SATURDAY 28.

The Cruxshadows, AlterRed, Kommand & Kontrol, Global Citizen The Florida-based band plays gothic electronica and darkwave. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £14.

Exhibition Road Show 2012 A celebration of music, art, science, literature and acrobatics with performances from Chris Difford, Eliza Carthy, Josephine Oniyama, Dave Swarbrick, Jason Singh, Patrick Wolf, Iain Sinclair, Leo Abrahams & Leafcutter John and The Exhibitionists.

Exhibition Rd, SW7 2DD. Free.

Until Aug 5, see www.exhibition roadshow.co.uk for details.

The Pretty Things Blues, R‘n’B and rock ‘n’ roll from the Londonbased group, including founder members Phil May and Dick Taylor.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £10, adv £8.

Priceless London Wonderground: Tom Thum Australian multivocalist, beatbox addict and star of Tom Tom Crew. The London Wonderground Spiegeltent, Jubilee Gardens, off Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). £15.50 & £20.50, concs £12.50. Also Sun. Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Tappa Zukie, U-Roy, Yellowman, Dennis Alcapone, Winston Reedy Reggae deejay and producer from Kingston, Jamaica.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£45.

Rust, Sick On The Bus, The Vile, Barnyard Masterbator Hardcore punk outfit from Australia. Bridgehouse 2, Bidder St, E16 4ST (020 7474 3200). £8.

Transition Bristol-based indierockers. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £20.

SUNDAY 29.

Blaze Bayley, Thomas Wijssen Classic metal from the exWolfsbane and Iron Maiden singer. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). Adv £10.

Satoko Fukuda, Ute Kanngiesser, Tania Chen, BJ Cole, Leon Michener & Steve Beresford Experimental and improvised music by the violinist and accompanying musicians.

Dalston Boys Club, Boleyn Rd, N16 8JG. £6, concs £5.

Good Hookers, The Blackhand, Black Mesa, Fly By Nature, Acid Portal Milton Keynes-based groove metal band. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Hans Raj Hans Punjabi folk and Sufi music from the Indian singer.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £25-£65.

Robb Johnson, I Am A Pilot, All The Queen’s Ravens, Phillious Williams Folk-rock singersongwriter from Brighton. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £5.

London Irish Village 2012: Aslan The Dublin-based veterans play acoustic rock.

Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £25-£50.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Ernest Ranglin, Sly Dunbar, Robbie Shakespeare And Tyrone Downie The reggae musicians from Jamaica perform as a group. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£45.

Will And The People, Stray Dogs, Foe, Cave Painting Skapop by the London-based band.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £10.

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Lucy Porter The stand-up comic on her first Edinburgh show in two years, how motherhood has changed her, and Gollum INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

People Person is your first Edinburgh show in two years – how come?

My last show was in 2009. Last year I went up as a punter – I was pregnant and had a nice relaxing time. So I have had a rest, which has also reinvigorated me. I feel like a new woman now, with two years of material to talk about.

It’s about your party animal sensibilities and social anthropology ...

Stand-up comedy is essentially social anthropology, but with laughs. It’s about observing people – and I am a nosey person.

There are, however, only glancing references to anthropology.

There is no powerpoint presentation?

No, any social anthropologists coming to it would be very disappointed. You have to be a bit of a social anthropologist for comedy, as well as a psychologist – a keen observer of life.

Where did the initial idea come from?

It’s about how I met my friend Sophie – friendships in your twenties are easy and fun and then you hit your thirties and it’s all downhill.

The days when you could go out and get drunk for three days on end are long gone. Organising getting together with your mates becomes like organising the Olympics. That makes it sounds quite depressing, but it’s not.

What does depress you?

Daytime TV, that depresses me.

Photos: Steve Ullathorne

Any shows in particular?

Dom Littlewood, who does Don’t Get Done, Get Dom, and Saints And Scroungers. He is a little Gollum. I also talk a lot about shopping in Argos, which doesn’t sound very glamorous either.

There are some showbiz anecdotes, in there too.

Do you miss your child-free party days?

I look back with nausea – Edinburgh used to be a month-long Bacchanalian orgy of drinking and misbehaviour, tremendous fun. But now, I am going with the family and will be in bed by 9pm.

Has becoming a mother softened your comedy outlook?

Not at all. I am still just as silly and childish.

Lucy, not being depressed by fantastical Tolkien characters It hasn’t matured me at all, I now just have other childish chums to knock about with. My obsession with vulgarity has got worse because that is all that children do.

Well that’s it, it is all about celebrity – it’s what star you can get attached to a project, not what the script is like. So I’ll just have to make friends with lots of famous people – that is my plan!

Will the Olympics affect the festival?

It’ll be interesting. The people interested in sport and in stand-up and theatre – I would like to see that Venn diagram, see what the overlap is.

And you’ve also been working on a new sketch show, too…

Yes, it has been part of my gradual, creeping return to work. It’s funny – I have been writing the show with a friend of mine, Catherine Shepherd, but there’s been a slight hiatus as we have both been off having babies. If only I could work out what was causing it…

Surely it appeals to people wanting to get away from London and the Games?

For all the people terrified about their journey to work in London, come to Edinburgh, where you can walk everywhere. You’ll get thighs like powerlifters, though, because of all the hills.

I have been trying to lose the baby-weight and failing, but I am not worried, as I know I will be going there soon and lose a stone in the first week alone.

You’ve been working on a film with Green Wing writers Fay Rusling and Oriane Messina, too?

It looks like it might not be happening now, though. That is the world of film: you work hard on something and then can’t get the money together. If anyone wants to buy a screenplay ...

You should cast an American star, like Andie McDowell in Four Weddings

You’ve done lots of benefit shows, including LiveStock for Friends of the Earth – what are you especially passionate about?

When I do benefit gigs, I get very passionate about the cause at the time, and then find something else to be passionate about. I’m fairly socially active – I did go down to the Occupy Camp at St Paul’s for a couple of hours. I didn’t stay the night, but I had a cup of tea. I’m saving the world one benefit gig at a time.

Piccadilly Comedy Club, July 27. £10 SW1Y 4EE piccadillycomedy.co.uk Leicester Square People Person, Aug 3-26. £12.50 Edinburgh Festival Fringe edfringe.com

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LONDONSCENE

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‘This is what happens if you make fun of my silly bat-ears!’

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman | 12A | 165mins | Out now

SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN FILM STARRING: Sixto Rodriguez | 12A | 92mins

As uplifting a tale as you’re likely to see, and all the more astounding because it is true. Detroit singersongwriter Rodriguez was tipped to be the next Dylan back in the Seventies, his albums stiffed in the US, though, but found platinum success in South Africa (unbeknown to him), where two fans set out to find their hero.

On general release July 26

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The movie event of the year has a lot to live up to. It’s predecessor, The Dark Knight, was the highest grossing movie of 2008, and was as critically lauded as it was financially successful. Does Nolan pull off his third and final bat-film?

It’s as epic a conclusion as you might expect, a tale of caped-crusader redemption – in more ways than one – and of a city, and culture, under siege. New villain Bane (Hardy), a muscled, masked adversary who outguns his Bat-foe (in one bonecrunching encounter especially), leads an uprising against Gotham’s privileged elite, this nihilistic showdown forcing Batman out of retirement.

If the Joker was an anarchic terrorist, Bane’s a politicised revolutionary, yet still no match for Ledger’s iconic portrayal. While he carries a brooding menace, Bane is less memorable, and his croaked-up voice (the cause of much online consternation) still flaunts elusive diction at inopportune moments. Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman proves a worthier addition, injecting a feisty and morally scattershot femme fatale quality, with Bale relishing the downward spiral into which Wayne has descended.

Nolan keeps the tone portentous as characters dispense philosophical speeches (destiny, courage, sacrifice for the greater good), and takes his time setting up where Gotham’s at eight years on. He orchestrates an epic scale as Bane storms the city and new-gadget ‘The Bat’ takes to the skies, and builds to a crescendo that satisfies emotionally, as Bruce and Alfred’s relationship underscores the disaster movie-sized perils. It doesn’t raise the bar, but closes the franchise in fitting style.

GOOD FOR: Seeing Nolan dial his Bat-saga all the way up to 11

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GIVE US A

EDDIE IZZARD: WORK IN PROGRESS

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Ahead of his new arena tour next year, Izzard road tests some new ideas and material at this run of intimate Soho shows. So to see one of the world’s finest, most popular comedians in a lowkey venue, get yourself down. It’ll be a damn sight more personal than straining your eyes to see him on the stage at the O2 next May.

Ha ha!

Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Until Aug 11. £15 Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

THE TANKS

MACK AND MABEL

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

The Tate Modern’s latest endeavour is the opening of this new Tanks space, an industrial exhibition venue comprising three massive oil drums, used for, firstly, this festival of live art, performance, installation and film. It’s opened with, among other events, a special commission

by Korean artist Sung Hwan Kim.

The book is as unsatisfactory as the on-off love affair between movie director Mack Sennet and his one-time leading lady Mabel Normand, but the songs, the staging and the choreography in this tweaked version of Jerry Herman’s 1974 fact-based musical could hardly be bettered. A classy production. LK

Tate Modern Bankside, SE1 9TG. July 18-Oct 28. Free Blackfriars tate.org.uk

Southwark Playhouse Shipwright Yard, SE1 2TF. Until Aug 25. £10+ London Bridge southwarkplayhouse.co.uk

TIFFANY STEVENSON What’s the show about? It’s about getting older and everything that involves ... body changes; not becoming your parents; becoming middle class, but not wanting to.

There should be a handbook on this shit – teenagers get advice for their raging hormones, people in their Thirties should have help with how to extricate yourself from boring dinner parties.

Weirdest on stage moment?

I crowded surfed at Bestival once... that was pretty surreal.

Photos: Johan Persson

Funniest thing you have seen this week? A lady with ‘go faster’ stripes on her mobility scooter.

THE MAN INSIDE

A DOLL’S HOUSE

FILM

THEATRE

Ashley ‘Bashy’ Thomas stars as a young boxer struggling to find his path in life, his destiny haunted by an abusive father whose shadow hangs heavy as he fights for his own life.

Co-starring Peter Mullan (excellent in Paddy Considine’s directorial debut Tyrannosaur last year), and former EastEnder Michelle Ryan, this looks a worthy new urban-Brit-drama.

Young Vic associate director Carrie Cracknell elicits a mesmerising performance from Hattie Morahan in Simon Stephen’s convincing new version of Ibsen’s 1879 classic, about mother and wife Nora, who has been hiding a secret from her husband that is now under threat of being exposed. LK

On general release July 27

Young Vic The Cut, SE1 8LZ. Until Aug 4. £10+ Waterloo youngvic.org

How do you deal with hecklers?

I drown them out like a sack full of unwanted kittens. Or I just go out with them.

Most embarrassing onstage moment? I once fell over on my way to the mic stand, that still gives me nightmares.

99 Club, WC2H 7LE, July 28. £15 Leicester Square 99clubcomedy.com Uncomfortably Numb at Underbelly Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Aug 2-26 Edinburgh

edfringe.com

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'Oh please, let me come to Queen of Hoxton, Dom...'

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Straight outta Bondi Shoreditch won’t ever be the same again after Australia's totes rad Bondi Hipsters carve it up during the upcoming Olympsies WORDS TOM STURROCK

Since their YouTube series went totes viral, the Bondi Hipsters – Dom and Adrian, to the uninitiated – have become a pop culture phenomenon. These guys have turned their hands to everything – fashion designing, a bit of rapping and DJing – wherever the zeitgeist is headed, Dom and Adrian are already there, without even trying. Even though they’re the toast of Bondi Beach, they’re still keeping it real and underground. Still, they’ve made the trip to London for the Olympics, which, for the record, is probably the most tryhard thing ever.

We caught up with Dom and Adrian ahead of the Olympics to chat about their incredi London adventure.

Are you excited about arriving in London?

Dom: Why would I be excited about visiting a place that I have already spent several weeks in?

Adrian: Dom spent a bit of time in London back in his male modelling days ... He was totes all over the London scene back in the day.

Dom: Yarh, at the time I was signed to Vivien’s so they had me on the door list of literally every club in London, every night. But I never went to clubs because everyone at nightclubs are total tryhards and anything that you have to line up for isn’t worth going to. My favourite venues were these secret underground clubs in the London Tube tunnels, where you could just get off your face on pingers and watch guys in fluorescent jackets fix trains. It was so underground.

There was literally nobody there, just me, and these guys working on the trains. And I would get so fucked up – I dunno how I would categorise their performance style, but I suppose it was kind of percussive.

Adrian: Totes jealo.

Your fans might not expect you to be that keen on sport – what persuaded you to head over for the Games?

Dom: Yarh, London is going to be like a giant orgy for three weeks. I read somewhere that condom sales go up by like 40,000 units in the Olympic Village alone, which is pretty cool.

Adrian: Think of all that good stock just going to waste. It’s the stock of champions. I mean, people would pay good money for that stock, and it all ends up on the inside of a rubber. They should collect it and distribute it to poor African

women so that they can have unbelievably talented children to support them and their entire villages in the future.

Dom: That’s actually a great idea, brah. We should set up a collection bucket or something.

Are there any athletes whose style or look impresses you?

Adrian: From a physicality point of view, I’m impressed with all of them. I like the shapes their bodies can make. Most of them look like they are covered in ropes – it’s amazeballs.

But you know what? If I was a tryhard, I could probably have the same body, too.

Dom: Sorry for having more important things to do than run around in circles and try to jump far.

Adrian: I think that the Chinese female swimming team are pretty impressive. I mean, they always have such big shoulders and such masculine builds. It almost looks unnatural. Almost.

Dom: I think Mark Spitz was the coolest sports guy ever. That merman used to get more tail in two laps of the Olympic swimming pool than Shane Warne used to get on a threeweek bender in Bollywood. It’s rumoured that, at the height ››

'Don't take a fence, Aids. It happens to all the fours ...'

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'It's lucky we're both so naturally athletic, brah'

of his Olympic swimming career, he was having sexual relations with as many as 60 fit birds a week – that doesn’t even include the ugly ones that surely he would have had every now and then, just to mix it up.

Adrian: Would he have had a dude every now and then?

Swimmers often swing it both ways.

Dom: Probably.

Where will you be hanging out?

Dom: We’ll be staying in Shoreditch, so gonna spend a lot of time there, and hit up Camden whenever we can. I hear it’s pretty cool there.

Adrian: We’ll be doing Shoreditch House for sure, bending it like Beckham. We’ve also got a couple of mates who play in a little synth act at a cafe down there every second afternoon, so we’ll probably go down there and do some spoken word poetry to go along with their set, mix things up and clear our minds of all the sports.

How do you expect from London in terms of hipness?

Dom: This question is a bit lame, and it sounds like it’s referring to ’hipsters’. We are not hipsters.

Adrian: Yarh, hipsters are so lame.

Dom: Hipsters don’t even know when they are hipsters.

Adrian: They all go around laughing at hipster parody videos on the internet and think that their friends are all hipsters, but they don’t even realise that they themselves are hipsters.

Dom: Please, I mean, WAKE UP! YOU’RE A HIPSTER! Adrian: And London is pretty much the birthplace of the modern hipster, so I’m assuming that there will be lots around.

What about all your fellow Aussies living in London?

Are they cool or not?

Adrian: They would all inherently be missing their vitamin D, and they are all in danger of being affected majorly by the Heathrow Injection.

Dom: Yarh, the Heathrow Injection is a very dangerous problem for fit young Aussies. They get over there to 34

London, start smashing starchy carbs and then put on like 10kgs in a matter of weeks.

Adrian: Yuck. That’s so disgusting. Why would you eat carbs?

I honestly don’t know why you would live there.

“

Spitz was shagging 60 fit birds a week

”

Dom: Then again, I suppose there is the power of the 9/10 rule. in Sydney, the average population is about an 8 out of 10. Sydney people are hot. Sorry bout it, but it’s true. So for anyone that is below that 8 mark, they really struggle to find decent-looking sexual partners. It’s the laws of the jungle, pretty elementary stuff really. But when they go to London, where the average population is about a 4/10, they automatically go up to a 9, hence increasing their opportunity to have sex with more attractive partners. So I’m looking forward to seeing Adrian go through that transition, and be with him on his journey to becoming a 9. He’s owed it. Life hasn’t been too kind to Adrian.

Adrian: Yaarh, I can’t wait. Dom’s already a 10 anyway. Hey what do you mean life hasn’t been too kind to me?

Dom: Nothing.

Adrian: No, I really want to know what you meant?

Dom: Seriously brah, nothing. Forget about it.

Adrian: I can’t.

Dom: Can we just not answer any more questions? I’m getting uncomfortable and this is starting to feel like we are talking to a journalist or something.

Adrian: Totes. Sorry man, we’ve gotta go. Been nice chatting.

Dom: Laters brah. ❚ at

Keep track of Dom’s and Adrian’s amazeballs adventures tntmagazine.com/bondihipsters

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2002

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ten years of active holidays together in Europe!

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SPARETIME

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The Gaslight Anthem: Handwritten

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Inversion Xbox

This third-person shooter feature an cool ‘gravity manipulation engine’. £24.99 play.com

CD

New Jersey ‘Boss’-rockers return with their hotly anticipated new LP. £12.99 play.com

Brave: The Video Game Plan B: Ill Manors

Wii

Spin-off from the forthcoming Pixar, Scottish highlandthemed movie. Och aye! £19.97 asda.com

CD

Ben Drew’s third album, and the soundtrack to the film he wrote and directed, too.

Clever fella indeed. £8.97 amazon.co.uk

Cocktail Flow App

Search by type of drinks or by ingredients, to find the cocktail that matches your mood. £2.29

Dr Pierre Dukan: The Dukan Diet – 100 Eat As Much As You Want Foods

windowsphone.com

Ebook

Quite possibly the best diet ever, and it’s scientifcally proven by Dr Dukan himself. £14.99 amazon.co.uk

Flag iPhone cases Accessory

Wear your allegiance on your phone, wherever you’re from. £25 speckproducts.com

Monica McInerney: Lola’s Secret

Mini Swingball

Book

Game

Aussie author’s tale of a young woman’s Xmas family discoveries. £7.99 play.com

A desktop-ready version of the iconic summer time ‘sport’. Includes a ‘windicator’, too. £9.97 amazon.co.uk

Bel Ami DVD

Countries Quiz

Robert Pattinson cements that lust-object status as a 17th-century French womaniser. £11.99 amazon.co.uk

App

Test your knowledge so you know who everybody is in the Games, with this world flags challenge.

Free itunes.apple.com

Wild Bill Blu-ray

Brit flick with cockneys, gansters, fist fights and, above all, humour and heart. £9.99 asda.com

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App of the Week BBC Olympics Multi platform

The Beeb is the Olympics broadcaster and this app keeps you abreast of the Games, with streaming, news, highlights and more.

Free appworld.blackberry.com

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Union Jack T-shirt Dress up this patriotic bad boy with skinny jeans and, of course, a gold chain.

Sacoor beach shorts Look like a winner when the sun eventually makes an appearance in these trendy UK-coloured shorts.

People Tree Dress Team this funky T-style design with chunky heels for maximum effect.

harrods.com

ethicalsuperstore.com

sacoor.com

£59

.50

.00

£28 .00

£36

POP-UPWATCH LONDON 2012 SHOP

The more cynical might suggest London’s biggest pop-up shop is only so big because London 2012 has failed to shift as much merchandise as it had hoped.

This just-open-for-the-Games store flung wide its temporary doors last week, with Sir Steve Redgrave cutting the ribbon.

If you fancy bagging a piece of Olympics memorabilia to look back on in years to come, this is officially the place to go.

However, it might set you back a pretty penny – a London 2012 cushion is £85 and a water bottle is £12. Although, you can find a few bargains if you search hard enough – a vintage art print of the London 1948 Games is £10, and a duvet and pillow set (if you’re that keen on the Games that you want to wake up next to the logo) is £30. These items might be worth money one day.

Or not. Also head down to meet athletes and compete in sportsrelated competitions.

OPEN Until September 16 london2012.com Rotton Row, Hyde Park, W2 2SB Lancaster Gate/ Paddington

Adidas sweatbands Look like a Team GB pro down the gym with these tidy accessories.

Games chic

shop.lond.jpon2012.com

.00

£54

Adidas Men’s Hoody Feel right at home in east London with this grey, official 2012 hoody. london2012.com/shop

0

0 £7.

£50

.00

Men’s Padded Gilet Wrap up warm to watch the athletes going for gold.

.00

£45

london2012.com/shop

.00

£70

Brittania Bonita Go all red, white and blue with this cute, handmade design. jinkksy.com

£15

.00

California 78 Vintage Put your best foot forward and aim for silver in this Games-inspired design.

Fulton Brollymap Never get lost again with this map of London on a funky umbrella. fultonumbrellas.com

ontisukatiger.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

HORSE RIDING

This is your chance to learn how to outrun an Olympic triathlete – or, more realistically, just to have a fun day exploring. Hyde Park Stables offers guided riding tours around the stunning surrounds of Hyde Park – and you’ll get a unique view of the Olympic events taking place there.

For research purposes (of course), I mounted a fine, blackand-white-patched horse called Teddy, and the experienced, funny guide led us around the Serpentine and through the winding park in a group of two.

Others went alone with a guide – I brought a friend so I’d have someone to compete against.

Everyone, from the seasoned to the beginner, is made comfortable and given all the gear they need. The trail horses are incredibly sweet and well-behaved – so don’t expect them to rear and go chasing after the nearest commotion. Although, my predominantly dependable horse, Teddy, did seem to have an irrational fear of lawn chairs. Prices do run a little steep at £64ph, but it is definitely well worth the experience to do at least once with your family, date or friends.

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Get Games fit From shooting to fencing, if the Olympics has you geared up to learn a new sport, read on WORDS SARAH KURANDA & SHEA ROLL

If you didn’t quite make the cut for the 2012 Games team, you still have four years left to pick up a new sport for Rio de Janeiro Olympics in 2016. And London is the perfect place to learn a new skill – there’s everything on offer to make sure your fitness levels rival the best athletes. Here, TNT gives you the lowdown on what you can learn, where. You just need to add the commitment and willpower.

Fencing, Pimlico, west London WHAT: Take a stab at learning to dodge a blade and strike with a sword at the Central London Fencing Club. Bring along a mate (better if it’s someone you don’t really like) to learn impressive techniques, tactics and traditions. The fast-paced combat moves will strengthen thighs and increase agility. The moves are taught slowly and repeated often to ensure you grasp each move and understand when to execute it.

Think of how impressive you’ll look doing that Luke Skywalker lightsaber fight routine.

BENEFITS: Tightens buttocks and stomach, reduces weight and sharpens the mind.

HOW MUCH: £75 for a six-week course, or from £66 for non-members for an hour.

SEE: londonfencingclub.co.uk

Shooting, Northolt, west London WHAT: Voted the best shooting ground in the country, West London Shooting offers classes for novices, as well as the more experienced triggerperson. Lessons vary along the 100-bird course; there’s a simple pre-season zero through to a complete course of lessons. The clay will be flying and all eyes will be pointed toward the sky, just make sure you wear bright colours.

BENEFITS: Improves reaction time and agility.

HOW MUCH: From £78pp for an hour’s lesson for two or more people.

SEE: shootingschool.co.uk

Sailing, Kingston, west London WHAT: Want to feel the wind through your hair? Albany Park Canoe & Sailing Centre

W2 2SB hydeparkstables.com Lancaster Gate

En garde! Learn fancy moves fencing 38

Underwater love: look good in the pool

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TEAM COLOURS

Mavala Olympics Trio Let your nails do the talking £11.00 mavala.co.uk

Serve it up: learn table tennis moves offers special taster classes for adults looking to give sailing a try. The classes run every Saturday from 10am-12pm, and are only £20.

If you’re hooked, you can have the full twoday experience for £190. If sailing isn’t your thing, you can still get out on the Thames and learn to canoe or kayak for £18.

BENEFITS: A good aerobic workout – improving flexibility and agility.

HOW MUCH: From £20 for a taster session.

SEE: kingston.gov.uk/albanypark

Synchronised swimming, Walthamstow, east London WHAT: Want the shape of a swimmer, but hate doing laps? Well, Aquavision offers synchronised lessons to get you in tip-top condition and look good doing it. For halfan-hour once a week for 12 weeks, you can be coached how to get acrobatic in the water for £75; £100 for a full hour.

BENEFITS: Increases lung capacity, improves flexibilty and leg muscle tone.

HOW MUCH: From £75 SEE: aquavision.org.uk

Violent Lips The Union Jack Pucker up for your country £7.99 boots.com

Table tennis, Highbury, north London WHAT: Could you be the next Forrest Gump?

Here’s as good a place as any to start.

Beckton Table Tennis Club offers the chance for all people of all levels to try their hand at ping pong. For only £3, between 6pm-9pm on Tuesdays, you can wander in to practice your hard-hitting serve that would make an Olympian wince. Feeling a bit shy, ladies?

Opt for a girls-only lesson.

BENEFITS: It’s a good cardio workout.

NEXT WEEK HOW MUCH: £3 per session.

Lunchtime SEE: highbury workouts tabletennis.co.uk

Gold Medal Soap Be a winner, even if it’s just in the shower £5.99 find-me-a-gift.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

TOP TREATMENT: MEDAL-WINNING HAIR Celebrity stylist Daniel Galvin’s salon is offering Olympic-sized discounts for the extent of the Games at his George Street salon. The ‘Olympics Menu’ has deals on all of the best summer salon treatments: colouring, manicures, pedicures and haircuts. Six packages from the ‘Opening Ceremony Blow-Dry’ to the ‘Synchronised Swimming Discount’ offer huge discounts on top-of-theline salon treatments. Available until Sept 9.

Go for bronze

George Street, W1U 7ET

danielgalvin.com

Bond Street

Davidoff Champion Smell like an athlete (post-shower) £39.10 escentual.com

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Behind the scenes: staff get to work at the Olympic site

Working it It’s been a long time coming. But who are the people on the ground making the Games happen? TNT finds out WORDS CAROL DRIVER The spotlight of the Games is firmly on the athletes – and rightly so. But while you’re watching Usain Bolt race for glory, spare a thought for the 10,000 people who will be descending on London as of Thursday, working to deliver the Olympics and Paralympics – no doubt in the rain.

For those involved in serving, sweeping, volunteering, ticketing, catering, it is the opportunity to be part of an event of a lifetime.

Aside from the G4S security staff blunder which resulted in 3500 Army personnel being drafted in, everything seems to have gone to plan (we’ll find out if not this week). Here, TNT locates the workers on the ground – the people making the Games happen – to find out how they made the grade.

40

Tim Baros, The volunteer Baros auditioned for the opening ceremony after applying online last year. Having worked in banking and finance for about 20 years, performing dance moves in front of Olympic officials with clipboards for the opening ceremony was “daunting”.

But he was called back for a second audition, then offered a place in Danny Boyle’s top-secret production.

Baros, from Santa Fe New Mexico, says: “Without giving too much away, for the past three months I have attended dozens of rehearsals – over 100 hours of my free time to perfect the scene I have been chosen to do.

“I think this will definitely look good on my CV – it’s something I will brag about for the rest of my life. And,

I’ve already been asked to be part of the Paralympic opening ceremony as well, as an athletics marshall.”

Richard Hudson, Comms manager After leaving uni two years ago with little idea about what he wanted to do, Hudson, 24, joined a BT graduate scheme in its online consumer department. He was then accepted on a secondment at London 2012.

“I’m working at Horse Guards Parade and The Mall where the beach volleyball and road events take place,” Hudson, who lives in Chalk Farm, says.

“We’re putting in all the comms that will carry all the TV, radio and internet coverage. My role involves providing management support for the team and venue managers, and it can be very

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ON THE JOB RACHEL LOWE CAREER Director, She Who Dares AGE 34 LIVES Portsmouth

How did you get into your line of work?

While driving a taxi, I got the idea for a game featuring a car as a playing piece. I took it to Dragons’ Den and came away empty-handed, but I continued with it anyway. In 2004, it was the best-selling Christmas game in Harrods. I now have a new Olympics game called Destination London 2012.

Hard graft: the final touches time pressured. In the run up to the Games there is very little margin for deadlines to slip as the events have to start on July 28.

“With so many important customers and suppliers on venue that can be tricky.

“From a career perspective, having worked at the Games will be a great addition to my CV, but it’s the experience and the skills I have learnt which I’ll really take away from my Olympic involvement.”

WEIRD OLYMPIC JOBS FALCONER: Jason Keddie’s job involved flying birds of prey around the London 2012 Aquatics Centre when it was under construction – to stop pigeons from nesting.

“We train and work together every day,” he says of the birds.

PLANT DESIGNER: Yes, someone is in charge of choosing the plants and designing the 2012 gardens – and that person is Sarah Price. “This is going to deliver parks and gardens that people will be really impressed with,” she says.

Check out her work when the London 2012 Gardens and Great British Garden open to the public.

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

Emily Brett, The athlete service manager Brett, 32, from Clapham, looks after all the shops and services in the Olympic Village – making sure the athletes have everything at their disposal. She’s also behind booking the entertainment.

“I started out in the live events side of the music industry. My degree is in biological sciences, but I was on the committee that helped to organise parties and balls at university.

“The main pressure of my job is the very fixed deadline. We want to host

a great event – and I’m confident we’ll deliver.

“I can’t wait for the opening and closing ceremonies – they’re going to be amazing.”

Brent Pope, The broadcaster

Pope is a former professional sportsman who trained as a broadcaster and will be commentating for the Olympic Broadcasting Services for 122 countries worldwide.

The 39-year-old says: “I’ll be covering hockey, water polo, basketball, volleyball, handball and table tennis.

“It’s going to be high pressure, but I’m looking forward to all of it – it will be like Christmas Day for three weeks!

“I hope to be a part of inspiring people around the world. People often do not remember what you say, but, rather, how you make them feel. My desire is to make the excitement, interest NEXT WEEK and global connectivity Tweet as: working relevant to in social media everyone!”

What do you do day-to-day?

Everything – from the ongoing product development, to the marketing and PR and, of course, the sales.

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Seeing a finished product that I have spent a long time developing.

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I am a perfectionist when it comes to my products, because I want my customers to be happy. destinationboardgames.com

HOW TO...

APPLY FOR JOBS The first impression you give an employer is crucial. Here’s how to make sure it goes your way.

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twice, paying close attention to tasks they want you to demonstrate, then include these in your cover letter.

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• Getting the person’s name

wrong in the initial email is a huge blunder. Don’t do it.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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tntjobs.co.uk SILVERBACK EVENTS T: 07712 829348 www.silverbackuk.com Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours, Applicants must speak fluent English. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner.

Jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

SKI JOBS FRANCE T: 078 2468 1228 www.skijobsfrance.com.au Ski Jobs France supports travellers to organise a working holiday in France. Guaranteed job or your money back.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew.

You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude.

CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Ski Jobs in France Location: French Alps Salary: Competitive Package Ski jobs available in hotels, bars, restaurants, chalets, airport transfers & ski shops.

Dec to May. French speaking not essential, but helps. Assistance applying for French visa for Aussies & Kiwis. Escape the grey British winter. www.skijobsfrance.com.au | info@skijobsfrance.com.au

SLATER BESPOKE JOINERY (LONDON)

JOB OF THE WEEK: Cabinet Maker/Bench Joiner Location: South West London SW18 Salary: £14/hr (40+ hrs)

T: 075 1585 0356 www.slater-joinery.com

Looking to employ a trade qualified bench joiner experienced in high-end finishes. Must be able to conduct site surveys, manufacture and fit. Fluent English/clean driving licence essential. Quote Ref DPTL

Slater London is a high-end bespoke joinery company working from a modern workshop in Southfields.

Joel Molinari | 07515 850 356 | joel@slater-joinery.com

AAB JOINERY LIMITED

JOB OF THE WEEK: Joiner/Cabinet Maker Location: Workshop based Croydon Salary: TBC

T: 020 8688 2826 aabjoinery.com

Production and installation of Joinery and Cabinets.

Bespoke joinerys and cabinet makers.

Must have good level of English. Site work will also be a part of the job.

Need to be able to operate machinery and work to drawings.

Aaron Mcdowall | 07944 192 625 | aaron.aabjoinery@gmail.com

ALBERT HALL DANCE FLOORS

JOB OF THE WEEK: Events Industry Labour Crew / Driver Location: Battersea, London Salary: £7per hour - £11per hour

T: 020 7819 9669 www.ahdf.co.uk

We need General Labour staff to drive, load and install our dance floors and staging – You must be a physically fit, hard-working team player - able to work evenings and weekends. English speaking.

We are London and the UK’s leading dance floor and staging hire company. We work hard, play hard & pay well.

ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

TNT_1508_JOTW.indd 42

PLEASE SEND CV / COVER LETTER TO: Ben Oliver | ben@albert-hall-dance-floors.co.uk | 0207 819 9669

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses!

Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

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Busy central/west london property management company /agency

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IMMIGRATION2OZ.COM T: 07974349937 www.immigration2oz.com Professional migration consultants providing personalised advice and assistance for people immigrating to Australia.

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Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

STYLE 99

£5.

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@tntmagazine

Living close to the Games

Medal Opener For when you’re winning iwantoneofthose.com

The lowdown on renting near where the action is happening

0

0 £6.

Clockwise: Greenwich Park; Victory Park; and Wimbledon

WORDS CAROL DRIVER

Olympic Tea Towel Do the dishes in style nationalgallery.co.uk

.00

£30

Billions of pounds have been spent on regeneration in areas of London associated with the 2012 Games. Up-and-coming locations have turned into the places to be, with improved transport links, new neighbourhoods as well as the obvious proximity to sporting venues.

And after the Olympics are over, landlords are going to find themselves with lots of properties on their hands as those in the capital for the duration return home – good news for those of us staying in London Here, TNT gives you the lowdown on the best areas to move to close to the action.

Stratford, east London

Olympic Mug Street-art cool for 2012 greenparrotgallery.com

.00

£56

Flag Skateboard Show off your true colours zazzle.co.uk

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AREA LOWDOWN: This concrete jungle was left for dead before London won the Olympic bid in 2005. Now, it’s been transformed and is home to the Stadium.

With a huge swathe of investment – Westfield Stratford pumped in £1.4bn – there will be new flats available as soon as the curtain falls on the closing ceremony.

TRANSPORT: It may be Zone 3, but Stratford has it made for transport. From Stratford station, there are the Central line, the DLR (links to Stratford International for Eurostar) and the Overground.

VERDICT: Shaswat Patel, from Letting International on Romford Road, says: “With the Olympics and new blocks going up, a lot more young professionals are moving here, so it’s becoming a bit more chic.”

COST: The cheapest houseshare you’ll find will be upwards of £80pw.

Wimbledon, SW London AREA LOWDOWN: The home of tennis will be hosting Olympics matches between July 28-August 5. There’s never a shortage of accommodation here, but steer clear of Wimbledon Village, unless you’ve just won the lottery. Instead, South Wimbledon is more affordable, and cheaper than nearby Putney. There’s a huge South African, Aussie and Kiwi contingent, so the nightlife is usually non-stop at the weekend. You’ve also got the added bonus of Wimbledon Common, where you can wander the woodland or head to Wimbledon Park for water sports and tennis courts.

TRANSPORT: Zone 3; on the District line, so not the best route to the city, as it’s often slow. Also on the Overground, and offers fast

trains to Waterloo and Clapham Junction.

VERDICT: Jane Cook, 26, tech PR account executive, who lives in Wimbledon, says: “Wimbledon is a fab place to live as it’s only 20 minutes from Waterloo by train and yet

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ACTIVE LIVING TWICKENHAM WHAT: With Twickenham Stadium – home to English rugby – and a university, this is a lively town that’s managed to retain some character.

It’s got a village feel, with events such as farmers’ markets and festivals springing up during the summer. And you’re on the Thames, with plenty of sports available, so water babies will feel at home. Plus, you get to walk home after rugby matches. Nice one.

TUBE: No Tube, but Overground will get you to Waterloo in 25 mins.

COST: £80pw for a single room.

still has a wonderful village vibe. You can spend your weekend supping pints in lovely country pubs around the common.”

COST: A flatshare will cost at least £90pw.

Photos: Visit London, Getty

Greenwich, SE London AREA LOWDOWN: The stunning Greenwich Park will be hosting the equestrian and pentathlon events during the Olympics.

And artistic and trampoline gymnastics, basketball, and wheelchair basketball will be held at Greenwich Arena. It’s a huge area, divided into east and west. The old town is where you’ll find tourist attractions such as the Cutty Sark, the Observatory and the National Maritime Museum. This is a leafy part of London so expect prices to reflect that – head out to Deptford and Lewisham for cheaper options. You’ll find City workers in the bars as the area attracts young professionals as well as families.

TRANSPORT: Greenwich is in Zone 2. There are Overground trains as well as DLR access from here and nearby Cutty Sark station.

VERDICT: Charlotte Cory, artist and owner of the Green Parrot Gallery (greenparrotgallery.com), says: “What’s good about Greenwich? The Thames and the view from Observatory Hill and the Royal Naval College that houses the university (a magnificent wren building); the dome which has become the most successful music venue in the world. But the truth is, the best thing about the area is all the people who live in and work in the place.”

COST: Upwards of £90pw for a flatshare.

FINSBURY PARK Earl’s Court, SW London AREA LOWDOWN: The beloved home of expats, Earl’s Court will host the volleyball for the Games. There are loads of hostels and hotels, and it’s heaving with tourists.

Plenty of Aussies and Kiwis pack out the area, although many just pass through, rather than stay as in the days when it was ‘Kangaroo Court’. You’ll find a few pubs and restaurants, but nightlife is limited. For parks, Holland Park is a 10-minute walk. And the posh streets of High Street Kensington are about the same distance away.

TRANSPORT: Here, you’re in Zone 1, with access to the District and Piccadilly lines.

VERDICT: Journalist Jahn Vannisselroy says: “There are a lot more tourists around, creating a vibrant atmosphere, but also causing crowding. Cafes, pubs and restaurants will benefit from the NEXT WEEK Games, but that will be the only legacy.”

Put down roots COST: Flatshares for close to a river about £70pw.

WHAT: You’re just a 10-minute walk away from the Emirates Stadium here – great for Arsenal fans. The city landscape is heaving with gastropubs, independent restaurants and pattisseries. The upand-coming area is attracting more professionals, with top transport links to central London. It gets a bit rowdy after matches – perfect if your team has won.

TUBE: Zone 2; on the Victoria and Piccadilly lines.

COST: As cheap as £60pw for a flatshare or double room.

LEYTONSTONE WHAT: With low-key Leyton Orient nearby, this cheap-and-cheerful area has received a boost thanks to the Games. With a few decent pubs and restaurants, and great transport links, it may be a little grotty in places but it’s attracting a more professional clientele.

TUBE: Zone 3; Central line.

COST: £50pw for a flatshare.

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How high?

Aussie pole vaulter Steve Hooker will need a miracle to defend his title WORDS TOM STURROCK

At the Beijing Olympics four years ago, Steve Hooker was one of Australia’s great surprise packets, coming from the clouds to win gold in the pole vault and break his country’s dry run in men’s track events. And, even for a period after the Olympics, Hooker looked invincible, winning at the 2009 World Championships and Commonwealth before being struck down by a dreaded case of the yips. His horror stretch started with a knee injury and reached its nadir when fear set in and he simply couldn’t jump.

Hooker, 30, hopes the toughest two years of his sporting life have a rewarding conclusion in London. But even he accepts that reward might not be an Olympic medal, let alone another gold.

The mental demons are clearing and the confidence is returning, but the defending champion seems resigned to just enjoying the experience of another Olympics.

“The last two years has been the toughest two years of my life in terms of my sport,” Hooker says. “That’s why I’m looking forward to London, that’s the outcome of all the effort and challenges I’ve had.

“I’m looking forward to enjoying the whole experience of going there because it’s going to be a big reward for what has really been a hard slog.”

That slog started with a knee injury in 2010 which kept him out of competition for six months and hit a low when he ran through his three attempts at 5.50 metres at the 2011 World Championships.

Australia’s athletics team captain hadn’t cleared a height in major competition for over a year and when he finally did, it was a lowly 5.00m off a short run up in Adelaide in January this year.

So, the man whose 2009 leap of 6.06m is the second highest in history pulled out of the Australian domestic season. After taking success for granted for so long, Hooker’s confidence was so shot he retreated to a specially prepared indoor 48

training facility in an old rail shed in Perth to start again.

Hooker insists he trained harder in the two months at that facility than at any other time in his career. He was buoyant when the work paid off; he cleared the Olympic qualifying height of 5.72m at a special event there in May. “I haven’t stepped on the runway and felt like I owned it like I did tonight for two years,” he said at the time.

With renewed confidence and a secure berth to London he immediately headed for Europe, where the progress has stalled dramatically.

Although Hooker says he’s training well, he hasn’t cleared anything higher than 5.42m in international competition this season, while his rivals are jumping beyond 5.90m. A month out from the Olympics, he says the thought of winning a medal is not a reality.

Indeed, Hooker’s showing at the London Diamond League meeting two weekends ago tells a tale. For years ago, he cleared 5.97m and, of course, went on to win a gold medal in Beijing. This year, he failed to clear a height, running through on two of his three attempts.

“It’s been hard, it’s been really hard,” he says. “Every day I turn up to training is a challenge.”

But, as tough as he admits it’s been both physically and mentally, he’s come a long way from feeling “lost on the runway” and is close to the mindset he had when he won Olympic, world and Commonwealth titles between 2008 and 2010.

“I feel like when I’m standing at the end of the runway I’ve got a lot more idea of what’s ahead of me,” he says. “I almost feel like I’m back thinking about similar things.

“And that’s the beginning. Getting that process right in my mind and getting the key messages I want in my head ead ad established and consistent. It’s probably more what hat att happens h ha happ ap appe ap after that, I’m building consistency but there e ca can an be an b sli slight sligh variations from one jump to another.

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Photos: Pho Phot s: G Ge Getty

Vault master: Hooker’s trained hard to get himself into medal contention

“Things are almost there, but at a slightly lower level.

I’ve got to work on the consistency to get that level higher and higher. It’s all about ticking off one session at a time. If I think too much about the Games themselves, that could be a bit overwhelming in terms of the amount that’s got to get done between now and then.”

Hooker’s first coach Mark Stewart says he’s seen many pole vaulters’ careers destroyed by a loss of confidence. At least Hooker has fought to ensure he hasn’t gone down that path and to qualify for the Olympics is an achievement itself after the depths to which he’d plumbed.

But now he needs to find 50 extra centimetres if he’s to be any chance of contending for a medal. He’s not fazed watching Frenchman Renaud Lavillenie clear 5.97m and German Bjorn Otto jump 5.92m at the European championships a few weeks ago. In fact, he’s gracious.

“One of the great pole vault comps of all-time today in Helsinki. Congrats to Renaud and Bjorn! Amazing to watch!!!,” he tweeted while watching his rivals gearing up for London.

Hooker’s focusing solely on himself as he builds toward using bigger poles, working on being more relaxed in his run up and easing his grip.

“The competition is the litmus test. Training’s going fine, what I want is a couple of better results in competition,” he says. “The answer is going to come as I move along the next month and as I go through these competitions.”

The ultimate answer will come on August 8 when Hooker lines up for the qualifying round at the Olympic Stadium, no longer invincible, but, in the tradition of all great Australians faced with adversity, not giving up either.

“I’m not giving up on it,” he says. “I’m going to go out and fight the whole time. I am going to continue to put in the effort. It’s just a matter of keep ticking it over, staying optimistic and anything can happen.” o

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE NOT SUCH A LONG SHOT If Steve Hooker can best be regarded as a dark horse in the pole vault, Australians can take consolation from the sparkling form of long jumper Mitchell Watt (above), who wasn’t even on the scene four years ago.

Watt was a freakishly talented schoolboy athlete, but lost interest in track and field during his teens, instead turning his hand to Australian rules and rugby union.

Eventually, the 24-year-old was coaxed back to track and field, and travelled to the 2009 World Championships, where, at his first major international competition, he came home with a bronze medal. Two years later, at the World Championships in Berlin, he claimed the silver medal and now heads to London as the man to beat in the long jump.

At the Diamond League meeting two weekends weeken eekend kends nds dss ago, ago ago,, Watt produced a season’s best of 8.28m claim .28m 8m m to c cl claiim m victory v vict vic victor ctory tory ory ry and remain undefeated in 2012.

012.

2.

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SPORTFOCUS

Going for gold The top 10 athletes to look out for at the Games The focus and discipline Olympic athletes summon puts the rest of us to shame. To see what the body is capable of, if conditioned properly, is an enthralling experience. The Games provides that opportunity, to reflect on what humans can achieve. In honour of our athletic counterparts, here are the top sportsmen and women to watch at London 2012.

The speed freak: Usain Bolt, 100m Achieving the status of ‘world’s fastest man’ hasn’t come easy to Jamaica’s Usain Bolt. The 25-year-old suffers from scoliosis, which has warped his spine and left him with one leg longer than the other. He has dedicated much of his training to stopping his left big toe scraping the track, a flaw that costs him hundredths of a second. Lucky for Bolt, he’s powerful (6kg heavier than archrival Yohan Blake) and takes only 41 strides to complete 100m, while competitors need at least 44.

The big girl: Holley Mangold, weightlifting Since age five, Holley Mangold’s dream was to be an Olympic gymnast. Her body, however, had other ideas. The American, 23, who stands at 5’8’’ and weighs 160kg, has always been ridiculed about her size. Instead of letting it get to her, it spurred her on to play high school football (she was routinely abused by opposing players’ parents for mauling their sons) before turning to weightlifting four years ago. She’s now the rockstar of her sport and a gold medal favourite.

The blind man: Im Dong-Hyun, archery What makes archer Im Dong-Hyun, 26, so outstanding is not that he’s won two Olympic golds with the Korean team, nor that he’s world number two. It’s that he’s blind. Im’s vision extends for only 20m, requiring him to aim at a series of blobs. “When I look at the target, all I can do is try to distinguish between the different colours,” he said.

He refuses to wear corrective lens, saying he shoots by ‘feel’.

The virgin: Lolo Jones, hurdles Forget the relentless training, for Lolo Jones, 29, the hardest thing she’s had to do is keep her legs closed. “Harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating has been to stay a virgin before marriage,” the American said. Away from the hype about her sex life, Jones is a top athlete, holding the US 60m record of 7.72 seconds. She was favourite for 100m gold in Beijing, but tripped and finished seventh.

Jones arrives in London with high hopes of redemption.

The Dream Team 2012: Basketball US president Barack Obama ranks the 1992 Dream Team the best basketball team ever, a call that no doubt rankles tthe current Team USA stars. They are, along with the men’s th

WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

100m finalists, the kings of the Games. Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, Deron Williams and Chris Paul will be eager to repeat their gold medal success of Beijing. They’ll want to win with such style it forces Obama to eat his words.

The golden Kiwi: Valerie Adams, shot put New Zealander Valerie Adams, 27, trains with a men’s shot put, her theory being that “if you can move with the heavy weight, it’ll be easier with the lighter [women’s] one”.

She’s proved it works, scoring gold in Beijing between two Commonwealth Games first places. As Adams also holds the current world and world indoor gold medals, it’s hard to see anyone stopping her at London 2012.

The party girl: Stephanie Rice, swimming If she wasn’t so successful, Aussie Stephanie Rice, 24, may only be known for partying and dating Wallaby Quade Cooper as well fellow swimmers Michael Phelps and Eamon Sullivan. Then again, she might be best known for tweeting, “Suck on that faggots!” after the Wallabies defeated South Africa in a 2010 rugby Test, losing a Jaguar sponsorship in the process. But, luckily for Rice, she’s a damn good athlete, determined to back up her 200m gold success in Beijing.

The gender bender: Caster Semenya, 800m South African runner Caster Semenya, 21, has endured ongoing prejudice about her gender, with 2009 headlines screaming: “Is she really a man?” She’s not, it turned out, but the year out waiting for the ‘diagnosis’, and subsequent injuries have meant the road back to the top has been long.

Semenya, though, is only looking forward. “I am not going to the Olympics for fun, I’m going there to win,” she said.

The blade runner: Oscar Pistorius, 400m Until a 2008 court ruling, double amputee Oscar Pistorius wasn’t able to run against able-bodied athletes, his bionic blades accused of giving him unfair advantage. He realises making the Olympic team is only just the beginning, as the eyes of world will be on his 400m performance in London.

“You’ve made the entrance to write the test, but now the test is in front of you,” the 25-year-old said.

The superfish: Michael Phelps, swimming When photos emerged of US swimmer Michael Phelps hitting a bong after Beijing, who didn’t think he deserved it? An unprecedented eight golds in 2008 afforded him leeway. eway. way.

But Phelps won’t have it all his way in 2012. Ryan Lochte is nipping at his heels, a spur Phelps, 27, 7,, who has the most ever golds (14), welcomes. Phelps needs three medals to top the 18 Soviet gymnast Larisa Latynina the record. a La Laty atyn tynin nina na a won. w wo on He’ll H He’l He e’ll ll tta take ake ke e th he rrec reco cor ord rd d TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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NZ CAME FIRST FOR QPR MAN NELSEN OLYMPICS FOOTBALL New Zealand Olympics football captain Ryan Nelsen’s says his recent signing with Shepherd’s Bush club QPR would not have happened if they hadn’t let him play at the Games.

“I said to them I refuse to sign any contract that wouldn’t let me go to the Olympics so I put it on Mark, he’s the manager, and said ‘no chance I’m not going to represent New Zealand’,” Nelsen (above) told Newstalk ZB. The New Zealand under-23 football team, known as the Oly-Whites, play their first match against Belarus on Thursday.

SEMENYA TO CARRY FLAG FOR SA OPENING CEREMONY Caster Semenya will carry South Africa’s flag at the opening ceremony.

The 21-year-old was given the honour for her first Olympics, three years after she was embroiled in a gender-test controversy that threatened her career.

South African Olympic committee chief executive Tubby Reddy said his body also considered double-amputee runner Oscar Pistorius, Swimmer Cameron van der Burgh and long jumper Khotoso Mokoena for the role.

Semenya is a former 800m world champ and was the 2011 world silver medallist.

STEFFENSEN MEDIA SPRAYS ‘MUST STOP’ OLYMPICS ATHLETICS After becoming a target of John Steffensen’s Twitter tirade himself, Australia’s Olympic team boss Nick Green has warned the athlete to tone down his public grievances.

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Know your Brits: With Olympic, world, European, Commonwealth and British titles to her name, Rebecca Adlington is already Great Britain’s most successful swimmer ever.

She’ll be out to win the 400m and 800m again after destroying her rivals in Beijing, and, in doing so, cement her place in the pantheon of international swimming legends

“If he continues to snipe away, we’ll have to deal with it,” Green said.

Steffensen accused Green of not knowing the facts when the chef de mission said he was disappointed with the 400m runner’s threat to boycott the Games, and allegations that racism may have been behind his non-selection for the individual event in London.

“Nick green if your so disappointed why dnt you call me to find out the problem!! U talk to the media like u no the facts!! I dnt even no u!!” Steffensen tweeted.

Earlier in the week, Steffensen told Triple M radio: “We’ve seen the AFL deal with [racism] this year. We’ve seen the NRL deal with it as well. You’d be very naive and ignorant to think it doesn’t happen in other sports.”

BIG WEEK FOR ...

Australia traditionally claims a lot of its medals in the pool and this Games is expected to be no different. Canberra’s Alicia Coutts has a big first day on Saturday, competing in both the women’s 100m butterfly heats at 10.26 and potentially the semi-finals at 7.40pm. At 8.50pm, she’ll be competing in the women’s 4X100m final. Because of her busy day, she’s been given a free pass straight into the final’s team, and will be hoping to still have the energy to propel her teammates to victory and start the games on a golden note.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK There’s two French handballers dressed only in socks, shoes, jockstraps, neckties and hats on top of a dining table, feeding one another lunch US soccer player Brandi Chastain tells ESPN about life in the Olympic Village

Main man: Patty Mills in action

PREVIEW Australia to open with a boom MEN’S BASKETBALL: AUSTRALIA V BRAZIL

SUNDAY, 11.15AM BBC ONLINE/ RED BUTTON The Boomers, Australia’s men’s basketball team, are the second seeds in a group that contains England, China, Russia and this weekend’s opponents, Brazil.

The aim is to finish as high as they can, delaying a meeting with the goldmedal-bound US until the last possible moment. Unfortunately, they’re missing their main man Andrew Bogut, who’s out

with injury, but keep an eye out for star point guard Patty Mills, who was part of the San Antonio Spurs run to the western conference finals of the NBA, and knows what big games are all about.

Coach Brett Brown, the assistant coach of the Spurs, has said Australia are aiming for a medal, so a top showing against Brazil, back in the Olympics for the first time since 1996 and who will trundle out NBA front-courters Nene, Verajao and Splitter, will be crucial.

Have no doubt, Brazil will be tough, but Australia, as always, will back themselves.

THE CHAT | The curse of the flagbearer

My last Olympics, I had a girlfriend – big mistake. Now I’m single, so London should be really good Swimmer Ryan Lochte is planning a fun Olympics for himself. Why not?

I’ve seen people having sex out in the open. On the grass, between buildings, people are getting down and dirty US soccer star Hope Solo remembers Beijing 2008. Let’s hope London doesn’t disappoint

GAMES ON TV

Photos: Getty

BEACH VOLLEYBALL all this I hear about the Australian Q What’s Olympic team being plagued by a curse?

Australia, carrying the flag in the opening ceremony is A Inapproached with a degree of trepidation. And rightly so.

In 2008, rower James Tomkin led the team out, but finished unplaced in the 8s final; sailor Colin Beashall finished 15th in the star class in 2004; 1992 had diver Jenny Donnet eliminated in the preliminary rounds; in 1988, hockey legend Ric Charlesworth was cruelly denied a medal as Australia were smoked by England in the semis; and in 1976, Raelene Boyle was disqualified after two false starts in the 200m. It could just be that they were all in the twilights, rather than the peaks of their careers, but special interest will be taken in whoever is out in front on Friday.

Group games The women’s rounds are always popular Saturday, 9am. BBC online/ red button

CYCLING Men’s road race Kiwi Greg Henderson is in action Saturday, 9am. BBC online/ red button

FOOTBALL Group games Tomkin in 2008

New Zealand aland and nd d takes take ta takes ess o on n Egypt Egyp Eg E gypt p pt Sunday, unday nday ay y 12pm.

12pm 12p 12 2pm m B BB BBC BC C Onli Onl O Online/ nline line/ e// red reed b butto butt bu button tton ton n TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: ALASDAIR MORTON alasdair.morton@tntmagazine.com

It’s the London 2012 Olympics, but only for some

Logo sponsorship rules leave us all on the sidelines

Photos: Getty

The Olympics in London should be an event we can all share

Olympics minister Hugh Robertson has popped his head above the parapet and called for common sense to be used when enforcing the draconian, and, quite frankly, farcically strict and debilitating licensing rules that have been imposed around the Games. Well done, Hugh, but your call should be taken further.

London 2012 (if it is still OK to call it that?) was billed as the Games of austerity after the bombastic Beijing demonstration of communist choreography. But it is more accurately described as the Games of corporate-yet-completely-unrelated sponsorship deals™.

McDonald’s – one of the chief culprits in sending humankind’s increasingly rotund shape towards a saturated, obese end – is a ludicrous sponsor for sporting activities. Anyone with even a modicum of logic can see that. But cash talks while logic and morals sit in silent subservience, this is the world in which we live. How can one supplier of bottled water be named as the ‘official water’ of the Games? Is this particular brand better, cooler, or sexier? Its consumption advantageous to those about to long jump?

So we hear of a Stoke florist who was penalised for displaying in their shop window rings and a torch made from tissue paper – the display apparently too closely resembling the Olympic logo. So, too, a Dorset butcher whose Olympic sausage rings impinged on the Games trademark. The logo, as the intertwining rings demonstrate, is supposed to be about unity and its synonyms, but all these words have little meaning anymore.

A total about turn of the role of big business and sponsorship is a naive, unrealistic goal, and it is as equally ludicrous to call for this as it is to emblazon a Big Mac on the chest of a 100m sprinter. Athletes, and indeed sportsmen and women from across the sporting spectrum, rely on sponsorship for income (or at least supplementation in six-figure ways). But a move to renew the Games’ sense of unity would be a noble and refreshing reshing eshing esh hing move. A celebration, in fact, of London, the UK and the spirit of the Olympics. ics. cs. » Agree or disagree? Has licensing gone too far? letters@tntmagazine.com com m

OURVIEW

GAMES ‘FASHION POLICE’ WARNING It’s not only shopkeepers that are subject to sponsorship crackdowns at the Games, it’s spectators, too – in what surely is a step too far.

When interviewed on R4’s Today programme, Lord Coe faced questions about whether spectators would be turned away if they wore clothing that didn’t fit with the official Olympic sponsors.

Overt political statements are banned, so don’t turn up in an Occupy shirt or you might feel the full force of the law. But turn up wearing a Pepsi cola T-shirt, and you might find yourself watching the games bare chested, as Coca Cola is the ‘official

“

Coke’s the only sugar water for you

”

cola sponsor’, not its sugar-water cousin.

Not being able to showcase the Games logo up in your delicatessen is bad enough, but restricting what spectators wear, in what is supposed sup suppose ppose to be a democratic country, is callous callous and and a threat to free speech. We should all a turn tu n up u in matching white suits with gaffer-taped gaffer ap d mouths, just in case.

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Straight shooter Casey Eastham is crucial to the Hockeyroos’ chances in London WORDS TOM STURROCK

Australia’s women’s hockey team was, for many years, one of the country’s safe bets for a medal at Olympic Games. The Hockeyroos – every Australian team needs a nickname – won gold in Seoul, Atlanta and Sydney, but it’s been slim pickings since. Now, in London, the Hockeyroos arrive, for the first time, as outsiders, a developing side with plenty of promise but for whom, according to the experts, these Games may come a few years to early in the learning curve.

Still, according Casey Eastham, the Hockeyroos’ star player, and one of the world’s top midfielders, Australia could yet be the surprise packet in a tightening field.

“Going into the Olympics, the Hockeyroos come to mind because we’ve had that success in the past, but more recently, we’ve been in a constant rebuilding phase,” she admits. “We slipped down to number nine in the rankings, to the point we’re probably consider an outsider. But you can’t pick it – any team in the top eight or nine can knock out any other on the day. That’s why the mental side of it is going to be so important – in London, anything could happen and then, I suppose, four years later, in Rio, we’ll have a really good, really strong side.”

What the Hockeyroos lack in experience, they make up for in athleticism – physically, they may be the best-prepared team in the competition, something Eastham attributes to them moving to Perth for the final months of the build-up.

“It’s an Olympic year, so all the squad has become fulltime, training six times every week, probably two sessions a day, spending a lot of time in the gym with extra weighttraining,” she says.

“We’ve been working really hard on our penalty corners because that can become really lethal if you do it well and developing that really helps us become a medal threat.

Physically, we’ve ramped it up – I’ve never played in a group where we’ve had this kind of strength, power and speed.”

Four years ago in Beijing, Eastham was the baby of the 58

Australian squad. Now, at the ripe old age of 23, she is one of the most experienced players. Eastham, then still a teenager, scored four goals in Beijing but it wasn’t enough to propel Australia beyond the group stage into the semi-finals, a heartbreaking draw in the last match against China, the eventual silver medalists, condemning them to fifth place.

“We missed out on making the semi-finals and I remember that experience – you don’t want to find yourself in that situation again and I suppose I’ve just been trying to help prepare some of the girls mentally for that,” she says. “It’s a big thing to be able to get over the line in a crucial game.

“Four years ago, it was a big thing for me just to make the team so I wasn’t thinking too much about it but, with any Olympic preparation, you hope to come home with a medal.

We’ve definitely got that in mind in terms of our goal-setting and what we’re pushing for.”

Eastham knows her younger teammates will increasingly be looking to her for leadership, for instruction, for a moment of individual brilliance when the going gets tough, and she is unfazed by the heightened expectations.

“That’s changed a lot, going from being the baby of the team to one of the most experienced players,” she says. “I’ve gone from being a first-year player to one of the leaders, so there’s a fair bit of added pressure. But that’s all part of it and I’m really excited about taking that challenge, although I don’t really consider myself an older player.”

On the back of her break-out performance in Beijing, Eastman was promptly tipped to become one of the world’s elite players. And, although among the top handful, Eastham admits the years following the last Olympics were a slog.

“The first couple of years after Beijing I was a bit disappointed – I didn’t feel like I was getting to level I wanted to be at and hit a plateau. I was pretty dow down ow o own wn about abo that,” she says. “But a new coach came onboard oard oar ard rd d and II’ve ve fe felt like I’ve made a lot of progress since then defi nitely n and a I’ve defin defini tely ely

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Photos: Pho Phot s: G Ge Getty

Clockwise: Eastham in action; attacking against Argentina; and singing the national anthem with the Hockeyroos

got a lot more confidence. I’m in the best shape of my career – there are niggling injuries but nothing major and I’m the strongest I’ve ever been.”

Eastman’s burgeoning confidence will be tested in the Olympics’ opening match, though, when Australia face New Zealand at the Riverbank Arena on Sunday morning. The Kiwis – or the Black Sticks, as they’re known – are ranked above Australia, and the loser of this opening clash will face an uphill battle to qualify for the final four.

“New Zealand are a good team – they always play better against Australia, which is the same story as in most sports,” Eastham says. “But I think if we get on top early then that’s the key – but certainly, having Australia v New Zealand first up in the Olympics is a pretty special way to start the tournament. It’s something we’re all looking forward to.”

And, despite the pressure, associated with Olympic competition, Eastham insists she will find a moment to enjoy it, to savour the thrill of participation, which, after all, only comes along once every four years.

“We normally don’t get a lot of people along to our hockey matches, but the Olympics is different – I remember, in China, having 17,000 people in the stadium and the atmosphere is awesome,” she says. “I remember trying to talk to one of my teammates and not being able to hear each other. It really makes you realise where you are and adds to your performance.

“The athletes’ village is pretty amazing – it can become a bit of a distraction and our programme runs for the full two weeks. But you’ve got the swimmers who finish after a week and they’re off partying after that – and you hear them coming home late. The food hall is just a freak show – all these amazing athletes and bodies, right at the pinnacle of their performance. And all the are very patriotic – no matter what sport, there’ll be athletes there to support each other, because we’re all in it together.” o

OUT FOR REVENGE AUSSIE MEN WANT GOLD If the Hockeyroos will need to upset the apple cart if they are to win a medal, their male counterparts, the Kookaburras, come into the Olympics as the world’s top-ranked side and hot favourites to take home gold.

After winning gold in Athens in 2004, Australia were expected to again face the Netherlands in the decider in Beijing but suffered a shock loss to Spain in the semifinals, eventually coming home with bronze.

The Kookaburras since made amends, winning the annual Champions Trophy four years running, as well as gold medals at the Commonwealth Games and d World Worl rld Cup in 2010. Don’t be surprised if it comess down own n to Australia – led by Jamie Dwyer (above), bove), ove), e), ), the th he world’s wo wor world world’s rld’s d’s ’s best b besst player – and the Netherlands. nds. ds.

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

FLAMING FESTIVAL This fiery procession celebrates the festival of Bonalu, a ritual offering to the Hindu goddess Mahakali in Hyderabad, India.

A feast follows the colourful celebrations.

Photos: Ruth Board, Getty

INSIDE

GIMME SHELTER /64

A SIMPLE PLAN? /74

GRIN AND BEER IT /80

Say goodbye to home comforts and find out how you’d fare in the forest. We discover the great outdoors is no place for the squeamish.

From cave paintings to quirky cider and kickass beaches, not even a landslide can ruin a good time in Spain’s Asturias region.

It’s almost time for the world’s most-loved beer festival to pitch up and start pouring.

Here’s your essential guide to Bavaria’s best.

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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Spectacular: imagine, all this for a tooth

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

LET’S GET WET Visit Cornwall boss Malcolm Bell has been moaning that the region is going to lose £60m thanks to the soggy summer, but this makes me think the tourists are even wetter than the bloody weather.

ESALA PERAHERA Kandy, Sri Lanka Elephants are clad from trunk to toe in silks and jewellery for a spectacular religious parade dedicated to – a tooth. The holy canine is 2 suspected to have belonged to Buddha and was brought to Sri Lanka in the 4th century. Costumed dancers spinning plates and blowing fire lead the procession, while devotees show their faith by piercing themselves with spikes.

AUG

WHY: According to legend, when Buddha was cremated, one of his teeth was taken from amidst the ashes. The religious relic was later smuggled into Sri Lanka in the hair of an Orissan princess disguised as a Brahmin priest. How better to reward these efforts than with an elephant parade?

TESTY FESTY Montana, US

Living up to its motto, “You can have a ball at the 1-5 Testicle Festival,” this event feeds over two-and-a-half tonnes of deep-fried bull balls to daring revellers.

While chewing on some ‘delicious’ testes, why not also try your hand at bullshit bingo or the wet T-shirt and hairy chest competitions?

AUG

testyfesty.com

BALLS OF FIRE Nejapa, El Salvador

lanka.com

TWINS DAY FESTIVAL

Twinsburg, Ohio

You’ll be seeing double at this event, the world’s largest 3-5 gathering of twins. And there’s no better place than Twinsburg to host it. The town is named after identical twin brothers who were lifelong business partners, held all their property in common, married sisters, had the same number of children, contracted the same fatal ailment and died within hours of each other. They are buried in the same grave in Twinsburg’s Locust Grove Cemetery.

AUG

twinsdays.org

Keeping with the balls theme, this rather alarming 31 event sees locals chucking balled-up rags that have been soaked in kerosene and set ablaze at each other. Only for the brave/ stupid.

JULY

tourism.com.sv

62

DO IT BECAUSE: The riotous procession is surrounded by smaller rituals, including a ‘water cutting ceremony’ with swords.

These smaller ceremonies give a rare glimpse into the varied religious rituals of Sri Lanka’s culture, so keep your eyes peeled.

MEDIEVAL WEEK

Gotland, Sweden AUG

5-12

This elaborately staged fest takes you back to medieval times. medeltidsveckan.se/eng

Photos: Getty

Just because it’s raining, it doesn’t mean you can’t get out and have a good time. It’s not acid falling from the skies, people – our faces won’t melt off if a few drops deign to hit our sun-starved cheeks.

Of course, it would be ever so jolly if we could skip about this green and pleasant land under the glare of a warming sun. And true, some places are infinitely improved by a balmy bask – why, our very own London transforms from a dank and dispiriting metropolitan horror into a giddy playground of parks and beer gardens with the simple addition of sunshine.

I can’t argue against the idea that the weather has a massive impact on how a holiday turns out. But what I can say is that, for me, crappy weather can add a quintessentially English air of silliness to proceedings.

Take the Diamond Jubilee, for example, when the street party I attended refused to be washed away by the unending downpour.

Instead, hundreds of us danced in the giant puddle that accumulated; the image of crowds of drunk Brits throwing shapes to Guilty Pleasures while dressed in emergency ponchos at four o’ clock in the afternoon still makes me smile today.

And hey, if you’re going on a British getaway, you may as well have the British weather to go with it. So don’t spend the season at home on the sofa cos you can’t afford any more flights outta here; just adopt the typically British stubbornness and stiff upper lip and go singing/ dancing/ surfing in the rain.

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HOLIDAY FORMULA It appears that there’s a science to having a great holiday, and it looks like this: ((N(d)µ(d)-40)(r))/ ( (b)((C(d)-µ(d) )N(d)-41/40 c) ) (41c.a)/ 40 ^2. The lengthy equation was ‘discovered’ by Dr David Lewis, a psychologist from Mindlab International.

Holiday Inn commissioned Dr Lewis to identify the exact factors that make a memorable getaway, and received this rather baffling answer.

Essentially, the meaning of the formula is this: for maximum relaxation and minimum stress, go away for three days, but don’t stray more than four hours from home. Dr Lewis explained: “Many people find breaks abroad so stressful that they return home worn out.”

MINISKIRT DISCOUNT

Photos: Thinkstock

TRAVELNEWS

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A theme park in southern China is offering discounts to women who turn up wearing miniskirts. The Merryland Resort’s ‘Love Miniskirts’ campaign awards female visitors discounted tickets if they wear a skirt shorter than 38cm. Deputy manager of the park Li Wenxing told the Shanghai Daily newspaper: “The stipulation aims to encourage female visitors to showcase their beauty in summer.”

The paper added that a local TV station captured footage of staff measuring arriving guests’ skirts with rulers. Well, we wouldn’t want any cheating.

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HASHTAG HORROR The Maldives has learned an important lesson about the flipside of social media campaigns, after activists used tourism chiefs’ new hashtag ‘#SunnySideofLife’ to tweet about police brutality and social unrest. Tourism authorities for the honeymoon paradise introduced the hashtag in the hopes it would start trending, but must have regretted the decision when tweets such as, “#SunnySideOfLife: Pristine white sandy beaches, crystal clear lagoons filled with blood of its citizens who are fighting for democracy” started showing up.

KUMUKA GOES UNDER Adventure travel firm Kumuka has gone into administration. The small company offered more than 600 tours to Africa, Asia, Australasia, Antarctica, North America, Latin America and Europe. It has confirmed that tours up to July 22 will still run. In the wake of the news, dissatisfied customers took to the firm’s Facebook page to complain. “There goes my honeymoon!” said one. On the bright side, On The Go Tours and Topdeck Travel are offering significant discounts to Kumuka customers affected by the company’s collapse.

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[Caption] Bushcraft skills: building a shelter is key to survival

ENGLAND

Woodland survival OXFORDSHIRE

Appleton

GETTING THERE Advance single fares from London Paddington to Oxford start from ÂŁ4. firstgreatwestern.co.uk

Oxford LONDON

Blazing: learn how to make fire.

Below: preparing a pigeon dinner

Grilling the catch of the day. Above: our writer constructs a new home 64

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UKTRIP

Gimme shelter Say goodbye to home comforts and find out how you’d fare in the forest. We discover the great outdoors is no place for the squeamish

Photos: TNT

WORDS RUTH BOARD

Spending a weekend in the woods with just a change of clothes and a sleeping bag may not be everyone’s idea of a great holiday, but this is no ordinary camping trip. During the next few days, I’m going to be armed with a set of bushcraft survival skills, courtesy of experts Woodland Ways, which means should I someday find myself lost in the wilderness, I’ll have the means to make it out alive. Although I’ve done my fair share of camping in the past, the absence of a tent this time around is making me feel apprehensive.

After a 20-minute car ride from Oxford train station, I’m abandoned on a road in the middle of nowhere and meet the rest of the group, some who are clearly diehard Ray Mears fans. Backpacks in hand and waterproofs ready, we’re led into the forest by instructors Adam and Ruth, arriving at a clearing housing a roaring fire and hot water ready for tea.

It’s all quite civilised until the bashers (rectangular tarpaulins) and bungee cords are produced. This is our home for tonight.

My partner and I pool resources to make something that at least resembles a tent. After much to-ing and fro-ing, with a bit of light bickering for good measure, our shelter is up and the sleeping bags are rolled out. Sorted.

A short walk from camp, we find Ruth surrounded by 16 dead wood pigeons. This will be our dinner – once we have removed the meat from the bird. I’m taken back to A-level biology when I had to dissect a pig’s heart, and start to feel light-headed. But I pull it together and fight through the retching to rip the breast from the pigeon, blood and guts flying about. Preparing food without the help of a supermarket is not for the faint-hearted.

Once dinner has been devoured, it’s off to our sleeping mats for a night in the open. I’ve got my fingers crossed that it doesn’t rain. In the morning, it becomes clear that the damp weather has brought with it an abundance of slugs. One woman declares over breakfast: “I found a slug in my sleeping bag.” Next time, I promise myself, I’m packing a tent.

As if reading my mind, Ruth tells us we’ll be building more permanent shelters today. “The rule of three is your key to prioritising tasks for survival,” she explains. ”You can survive for three minutes without oxygen, three hours without exposure, three days without water and three weeks without food.”

So shelter-building is high on the list of techniques for

survival. If you’re caught out in the open, getting away from the elements is essential to avoiding death by exposure.

My partner and I decide to try the ‘leaf-debris hut’ option.

We start with a triangular frame made from branches scavenged from the forest floor. The next stage is cutting down bracken and fern to cover the top, and then finding a good five or so inches of leaf litter to form the roof, all scooped up with our hands. Once everyone’s shelters are finished, the camp resembles a hobbit village.

With lunch playing on my mind, we’re put to work gutting and deboning rainbow trout, and then the next stop

“

Slugs trail across my face in the night

”

is how to make fire. Adam talks us through a brief history of techniques. One method that blows me away is setting fire to wire wool by using a 9v battery – cool! Adam then makes the traditional techniques, such as a bow drill and flint, look effortless. When it’s finally my turn, it all comes to an abrupt end as we are deluged by rain.

After an uncomfortable sleep, thanks in no small part to snails trailing across my face in the night, I awake dry and surprisingly warm. It’s time to dismantle camp and head back to the outside world. I’m looking forward to a change of clothes and a shower, but am sad to leave the simplicity of the woods. I may be exhausted, but the skills and tips I’ve learned are definitely ones worth hanging on to. Still, next time I head into the woods for a holiday, my promise to myself of bringing a tent will definitely not be broken. ❚

NEXT WEEK

Woodland Ways weekends from £219pp. Available in Oxfordshire and Derbyshire. woodland-ways.co.uk

Edinburgh Festival: The weirdest ways to get involved

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LATEDEALS

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Escape for a week to the Algarve for £239pp with lowcostholidays.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK DO THE DAM

£185

Three nights in Amsterdam is £185pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes fourstar, B&B accommodation and flights from London Southend.

Departs August 21.

< £250

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EGYPT A 10-day tour is £412pp (was £485pp) with Topdeck (0845 2575212; topdeck.travel). Includes accommodation, some meals, guided tours. Excludes flights and local payment.

Departs August 12.

SAIL GREECE An eight-day Bodrum to Mykonos tour is £449pp (save 40 per cent or 2-4-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes seven nights on a private boat, some meals, tour leader and crew. Excludes flights, port tax and local payment.

Book by July 31; departs August 5 and September 2.

CAMBODIA A six-day tour is £439pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 4998487; intrepidtravel.com).

Explore Phnom Penh and Siem Reap.

Includes hotel accommodation, internal flight and some meals; excludes international flights. Book by July 27; departs July 30.

> £500 CZECH REPUBLIC A seven-day tour is £520pp (was £650pp) with Topdeck (topdeck.travel; 0845 2575212). Includes ferry crossing, seven nights’ accommodation, some meals and sightseeing tours. Departs August 29.

LAS VEGAS Three nights is £599pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Book by July 27; valid for travel between October 29 and December 12.

TURKEY A 19-day tour is £599pp (save 40 per cent or 2-4-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Istanbul, Gallipoli, Troy, Cappadocia and more. Includes accommodation, gulet cruise on the Mediterranean, most meals and guide. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by July 31; departs August 4, 11 and 25.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

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PRAGUE Two nights in Prague is £218pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com).

Includes five-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Stansted.

Departs August 28.

EGYPT A nine-day Felucca Odyssey tour is £175pp (save 20 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Cairo, Giza, Pyramids, Sphinx, Sakkara, Egyptian Museum, Aswan, Komombo Temple, Edfu Temple and more. Includes accommodation, breakfasts, some lunches and dinners, guides and more.

Excludes flights and local payment.

Book by July 31; departs on August 18 and 25.

ALGARVE Seven nights in the Algarve is £239pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star, selfcatering accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Departs August 29.

MADRID Two nights in Madrid is £200pp with easyJet Holidays (holidays.easyjet.com; 0843 1041000). Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Departs August 8.

MALTA Seven nights in Malta is £220pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes three-star, half-board accommodation and flights from London Stansted. Departs September 17.

£250 – £500

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RUTH ROXANNE BOARD

HOTSHOTS WINNER

Talks travel photography

LONDON EYE AND WESTMINSTER Jari Vipele, Helsinki, Finland

WHY IT WORKS The title tells us what the scene is, but there are subtleties in the black-and-white image that add something more. The traditional symbol of Big Ben’s tower has been eclipsed by the modernist structure of the London Eye. Fun and leisure looms over the stuffy parliament building, reflecting the people’s quest for escapism.

RUNNER-UP WANDERER, THERE IS NO ROAD Irene Herrero Canencia, Madrid, Spain

WHY IT WORKS You would think from the architecture that the castle is straight out of a Disney fairytale. The grey tones show off the pattern and texture of the Episcopal Palace’s granite stone in Astorga, Spain. Eliminating colour brings out the glorious architectural details of Gaudi’s work.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER HOT TIPS: Black and white Photography was initially monochrome, but just because colour is a more recent development doesn’t mean black and white should be abandoned. Removing colour from an image helps concentrate attention on the subtle patterns and textures. You will need to place stronger consideration on the form and shape of your subject as you won’t have colour to use as a reference. You can create

depth in an image by using contrast and a variety of grey tones instead of coloured hues. Many subjects and compositions will have patterns within them that are drowned out in a colour image. Shooting exclusively in black and white pushes patterns to the front making them more obvious. Finally, use the best light you can to make the most of the elements mentioned here.

A THREE DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

WIN

Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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TOP FIVE

1

DANGEROUS DESTINATIONS

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PAKISTAN

There are some countries that immediately translate in the mind of the traveller as ‘out of bounds’.

Suggest a holiday in Pakistan or Afghanistan and the majority of mates would seek to have you committed before you do yourself any harm.

But while the names of these nations inevitably conjure the notion of danger – and visions of violence – there’s something about their very otherness that invites curiosity too.

However, we all know where curiosity got the cat. So how sensible is it to visit one of these so-called ‘dangerous destinations’?

There is always an element of danger to travel – as there is crossing the road on your way to work every day – but it’s true this element is far stronger in certain places more than others. Ultimately, the decision about whether to visit somewhere must be the individual’s, and it must be an informed one.

Travelling to a country such as Pakistan can be endlessly rewarding.

For many, it is the highlight of a 68 00

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lifetime of journeying, offering an opportunity to see incredible landscapes and meet welcoming locals. But this should also be balanced alongside the latest advice from experts – the Foreign and Commonwealth Office currently warns of a significant danger of kidnapping in Pakistan.

The diamond in the country’s more troubled rough is no doubt the Karakoram Mountains (pictured).

Trekking to 5098m-high Rush Peak is a ‘popular’ (relatively speaking) option, taking you over glaciers and through gorgeous valleys before reaching what is an unbeatable viewing platform for peaks that include the world’s secondhighest mountain, K2.

While on the Karakoram Highway, a must-not-miss is Baltistan. Home to people of Tibetan descent, it is often referred to as ‘Little Tibet’, and possesses more than enough natural beauty, world-class trekking opportunities and back-in-time villages to justify the name. travelpak.co.uk

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Maybe not dangerous Just

WILD

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We are also about 5 minutes walk to the beach.

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THE APARTMENTS Staying in any of our apartments not only gives you access to the stunning views but also avails unmatched serenity.

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APARTMENTS INTERIOR Every apartment accommodates two people, having a spacious bedroom, bathroom with shower, and a spacious living space with an open plan kitchen area. The kitchens are fully fitted with every amenity. The living areas come complete with satellite TV, WiFi internet and we also have a residents only bar, restaurant, swimming pool and guarantee safe

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Kenya Expresso Tours and Safaris Find your dream holiday destinations in Kenya.

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DANGEROUS DESTINATIONS

TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

2

KENYA

3

IRAN

Central location Trouble on the Somali border, some resulting in the kidnappings and killings of tourists, has turned a tide of travellers against Kenya; recent terrorist attacks in Nairobi have given more cause for taut nerves.

However, the FCO only advises against travel to a sliver of the country.

Kenya is rich in rewards for visitors, with big game safaris just one point on a long list that includes Indian Oceanbordered beaches and sweeping deserts. tourism.go.ke

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

4

LIBYA

Law and order is still a work in progress in Libya. Elections earlier this month were accompanied by a number of violent incidents, while a British Embassy convoy was attacked in Benghazi in June.

Probably the biggest draw in this chaotic country (it was hardly placid pre-revolution) is its Roman ruins: Leptis Magna boasts what are among the most impressive and least-visited remains of a Roman city in the world. Still, probably best to leave this one for a few years yet. fco.gov.uk

Ah, Iran. Posters bear hysterical anti-US propaganda (a favourite is Ayatollah Khomeini bursting through the flames of a burning Stars ‘n’ Stripes). All women, including tourists, must wear the hijab.

And then there’s the religious militia …

But you won’t find a bigger disconnect between people and politics than here.

Most Iranians are liberal, friendly folk – a highlight, along with the beauty of Shiraz and romantic, historical Yazd. The FCO advises against all but essential travel. tourismiran.ir

5

AFGHANISTAN

To say that Afghanistan is troubled would be an understatement. Make no mistake: the FCO advises against all travel to most of it and all but essential travel to the rest.

And yet there are pockets of serenity to be found in this ravaged land. The Wakhan Corridor is so remote that it is relatively secure. Here, you can expect tough trekking, rewarded with views seen by few fellow travellers.

Considering the Hindu Kush, Karakoram and Pamir mountain ranges meet here, these are some serious views.

SPA HUSA JARDINES DE ALBIA OVERVIEW This four-star hotel is located right in the heart of Bilbao and boasts fantastic connections to all the tourist sites and beyond.

The rooms are simple, but kept to a high standard, and all the usual services are on hand: room service, TV, (admittedly quite slow) wifi, and complimentary breakfast.

The latter offers continental fruits and bagels and cooked grub, so there’s something for everyone. There’s a spa and pool, too, although an additional charge is made for the use of these.

WOW FACTOR The central location means you’re two minutes from the underground, not more than five minutes’ walk from the city centre and its impressive shopping, bars and cafes, and 10 minutes from the jaw-dropping Guggenheim.

City boat tours depart from a mere two minutes’ walk away.

ROOMS Standard, with private bathroom, and a decent size.

BILL PLEASE From £55pn.

San Vicente, 6, 48001 Bilbao hotelhusaspajardinesdealbia.com/en

secretcompass.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

got engaged and I’m about Q Itorecently plan the hen-do. I love adventures

heard that Bruges is nice for Q Iahave weekend break so I was thinking of

and so do many of my girlfriends. Where to go and what to do? Ann, via email

taking my girlfriend. Do you have any top tips for while we’re there? Josh, via email

Ann! I’m going to work A Congratulations, on the assumption that hen dos tend to

72

biggest drawcards, and it’s easy to see why.

Historic streets lined with Gothic architecture and market-filled squares, all in a canalside setting, make it a quaint and romantic weekend.

Virtually a living museum, this tiny city has worked hard to maintain its historic charm while creating a pleasant atmosphere of arty, café culture. Top sights include Belfort, the Unescolisted 13th-century belfry in the main square (also home to some great markets) and Onze Lieve Vrouwekerk, the 13th-century church containing Michelangelo’s Madonna Of Bruges.

To escape the crowds, take a wander around the northeastern side of the city where you will find Bruges’ four remaining windmills, two of which now house museums.

Once you’ve had your fill of architecture, indulge in some great Belgian traditions – chocolate and beer. The Old Chocolate House (oldchocolatehouse.com) stocks every chocolate product imaginable, from pralines to gingerbread. Working brewery Brouwerij de Halve Maan (halvemaan.be) offers 45-minute tours (£5), which take you through the intricacies of the brewing process and finish up with a tasting session and views over the city.

A perfect weekend!

PANTS IN THE PIG PEN If you’re game enough to go into the pig pen [the standing-only and unofficially ‘anything goes’ part of the Hofbrauhaus tent], be smart and wear two or three pairs of pants – or up goes the skirt and down goes the underwear!

Aly Moffat, via Facebook BEST CAMPSITE Thalkirchen is the best campsite by far and super-fun for an after-party until the early hours, with German beer vending machines and just a few stops from the O-fest. The Wombat’s is in my opinion the best hostel, but is sold out about four seconds after they make bookings available. You can still get half the fun, though, if you sneak into the Wombat’s bar to party with them all.

Nicholas Symes, via Facebook

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

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Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

be short haul, so that most of the invitees can join in without being burdened with a huge cost. I would suggest considering Iceland as a possibility as you can have an action-packed break with lots of variety.

Reykjavik is a great base for your trip as the cosmopolitan capital is renowned for its nightlife. To cure the hangover, head to the thermal baths of the Blue Lagoon (entry £27-£31). Explore the natural wonders of the impressive waterfall at Gullfoss and the regularly erupting Strokkur geyser, which will take your breath away. It currently erupts around every six minutes. EasyJet, Iceland Express and Iceland Air fly reasonably priced routes to Iceland from London (between £100-£200 return depending on departure date).

There is good budget accommodation available if you know where to look. Airbnb has some great flats to rent in the city (airbnb.co.uk) or consider the centrally located campsite (from £pppn).

If you prefer something warmer, consider Morocco, where you can head out into the desert to try some camel trekking or 4WD adventures.

Arrange this independently or go through a tour group, such as mountain-voyage.com.

more charm than Brussels or Antwerp, A With historic Bruges is one of Belgium’s

READERS’ TIPS ON ... OKTOBERFEST

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

PALM MAR, TENERIFE Cidy Souza, from Brazil

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

ROSS CUNNINGHAM, 24

DAISY MARTIN, 18

Leeds, England

Hampshire, England

BEST I loved Guatemala, because there weren’t a lot of tourists there. It has a bad reputation, but it honestly doesn’t deserve it. It was nice to get lost in local culture.

WORST I was travelling through Tanzania with seven of my friends, and we all realised too late that we didn’t bring enough money. We had just enough cash to get bus tickets out of there. It was really stupid of us because the buses are known for getting hijacked. If ours had been, we would have had no way to bribe our way out.

Most memorable travel experience?

In Spain there was a dog that looked a lot like a rat … or maybe it was just a large rat. Either way, it kept going up to people at cafes and humping their legs. One little boy couldn’t kick him off fast enough and it jizzed all over his pants. He kept asking his mum what the goo was and she was so horrified, she was lost for words.

Essential travel item?

Hand sanitiser. As long as my hands are clean, I am fine.

» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: Getty, TNT

BIG IN BHUTAN The Kingdom of Bhutan boasts some of the world’s most spectacular and unspoiled mountain scenery. A highlight is Tiger’s Nest monastery, pictured.

A 15-day/ 13-night escorted tour is £3595pp with Dragon Kingdom. Includes flights via Delhi, permits, transfers, excursions and full-board accommodation. coxandkings.co.uk

THE INSIDER

ANDREW POOLEY General Manager Dartmouth Steam Railway & River Boat Company

My first ever big trip was when I spent three months in Kenya after university. I travelled the length and breadth of the country, seeing all the sights and sounds of Africa, backpacking to eke out my meagre budget. It was an incredibly memorable trip.

My most challenging travel experience was sailing a 50ft catamaran from Southampton to Barmouth in west Wales.

It later sank in the Irish Sea! My favourite place in the world is Devon. It has the moors and the sea, and the north coast of Cornwall is only an hour away, so you can go surfing at the drop of a hat. Plus, there’s no noise from aeroplanes and no light pollution.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is New Zealand.

My guilty travel pleasure is sailing or skiing at speed.

My top travel tip is keep an open mind and always try to speak the local lingo.

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[Caption] Basque in art: the colourful Cubes of Memory

Asturias SPAIN

Oviedo

Asturias

MADRID

SPAIN

GETTING GETTINGTHERE THERE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Flights from London Stansted to Oviedo start around ÂŁ159 with easyJet. easyjet.com

A bronzed Woody Allen 74

Scenic routes, here and above: try mountain [Caption] hikes and coastal paths

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A simple plan?

From cave paintings to quirky cider and kick-ass beaches, not even a landslide can ruin a good time in Spain’s Asturias region WORDS DAISY CARRINGTON

I struggle to keep my cool as a ticket agent makes indecipherable hand gestures at me. It’s 8am, and I’ve hoofed it over to the bus station in Oviedo, capital of Asturias, so that I might get in a full day’s hike at the Picos de Europa, a 2500m-high mountain range renowned for its scenic walking trails. It’s meant to be the highlight of my trip.

“Why can’t I get a bus?” I repeat. Like all of the locals I’ve come across in Asturias, the agent is exceedingly friendly, offering warm smiles in place of articulated explanation.

Finally, I’m able to decipher what she’s trying to tell me.

“There’s a bus strike?” I ask. She nods vehemently.

I’m travelling with a friend here in Spain’s northernmost reaches. Her mindset is much more Spanish than mine, and she seems happy to go with the flow. “Let’s see where we can get to by train,” she suggests. I nod. A vacation should be about flexibility, a lesson Asturias is eager to teach me.

When we arrived in Oviedo the previous evening, I learned that I had to abandon my fantasy of walking the Garganta del Cares, a 12km-hike that’s meant to be the prettiest within the Picos, and indeed, all of Spain. It cuts through two giant mastiffs, winds through caves and passes underground waterfalls. Alas, a landslide has made it impassable. In response, we charted an alternate route to other key hikes within the area. Now I’m abandoning those as well. However, as I soon learn, this is no bad thing. A change of plans means access to scenery no less pretty, just more off the beaten path.

We find ourselves on a train headed to the tiny coastal town of Llanes. A former fishing village with medieval roots, Llanes is the type of small, friendly, untouched town one imagines only exists in films (the type where the American or British protagonist wants to escape their mundane life for a little rural romance). Granted, in the summer months, the tourists still file in, but the place is intimate enough to retain its character even then. The town is made up of narrow, cobblestone streets that weave around the main fishing port.

One of Llanes’ most distinguishing features is the Cubes of Memory, a series of concrete blocks that pave the harbour and were recently painted in a variety of swirls, shapes and patterns by Basque artist Augustín Ibarrola. Floral and fruity themes abound, linking these now-colourful blocks to Llanes’ agricultural history, while the more figurative forms represent the artist’s personal memories. It’s a surreal work that invites exploring, and at times I’m so eager to lean in for

a better look I almost lose my footing and sink into the sea.

Scrapping the Garganta del Cares, we instead walk the 7km Sevda Costera, or coastal route, which stretches west from Llanes along the beach – or beaches, for there are dozens of gorgeous ones from which to choose. En route, we’re stopped by a middle-aged backpacker with a peeling face. He asks us for directions back towards Llanes. We oblige, and he enquires whether we want to skinnydip with him. “I have wine.” He ventures towards a large box in his

“

Asturias is eager to teach me flexibility

”

hand. My flexibility has limits, and we politely demur.

The next day, we head back to Oviedo for a proper explore. The city featured prominently in Woody Allen’s ››

Giving it froth: pouring cider in Oviedo TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and as a result, a bronze sculpture of the neurotic director sits opposite the central park.

Later Oviedo’s sidrerias, or cider houses, beckon.

Asturias is responsible for about 70 per cent of Spain’s cider production, and the drink can be swilled along Calle Gascona, a street lined with bars dedicated to the local brew.

The cider’s not carbonated, and to make up for this lack of fizz, the locals hold the bottle high above their heads and the glass down by their knees; by pouring from this great height, they are assured to give the drink a pleasant froth.

Halfway through our second bottle, we try pouring our own.

Some liquid hits the glass, but most seeps into my sandals.

Ribadesella’s Tito Bustillo Cave, a Unesco World Heritage site containing paintings dating back as far as 22,000BC, is our final day’s destination. Stupidly, we hadn’t anticipated the tour would be conducted in Spanish. While I fail to actually learn anything about the cave art, the surrounding stalagmites are a sight to behold, as are the millennia-old equestrian sketches that litter the walls. I smile dumbly as our guide explains everything, then lean over to my friend and whisper: “You know, I think I’m getting the hang of this flexibility thing.” ❚

Ribadesella: find ancient cave art

NEXT WEEK Clandestine Bulgaria: our favourite hidden hangouts in Sofia

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

La Maquina is set in a farmhouse 6km outside of Oviedo, but for those with a car, it’s worth the trek.

Fabada, a bean stew with chunks of chorizo, is a regional specialty, and La Maquina dishes up some of the best. Finish off with an arroz con leche (rice pudding). Mains from £8. lamaquinadelugones.es

In Llanes, Sidreria El Almacen is perched handsomely under the 13th-century Castle Tower (now home to the tourism office). The convivial eatery packs out with locals in the evening, who come for the stellar seafood and local cider.

Mains from £12. sidreria-el-almacen.com

Casa Fermin, in Oviedo, has been in operation since the 1920s, but you wouldn’t guess it from the sleek design – the place is covered in plants and boasts its fair share of skylights. The menu is Asturian cooking at its best. Try the roasted octopus with creamed potatoes and garlic. Mains from £18. casafermin.com

DRINK

From 8pm onwards, the locals can be seen sipping the regional drink (yes, cider) at various sidrerias.

Tierra Astur in Oviedo attracts a particularly lively crowd, and waiters pour cider the traditional way (from above their head). Bottles of cider from £3. tierra-astur.com

Sitting on the beach at Ribadesella is pretty little Sidreria el Carroceu.

Like other sidrerias around, it serves food (and good food at that), but it also makes a nice little spot to enjoy a glass before dinner. Bottles of cider from £3. (Calle Marqueses, Ribadesella, tel. +34 985 861419).

In Oviedo, Danny’s Jazz makes for a lively (and different) spot. The room is decked out in LPs from jazz greats, and if you’re lucky, you’ll even get a spot of live music. Mixed drinks from £4. dannysjazz.es

SLEEP

Housed on the Playa de Santa Marina in Ribadesella, Albergue Roberto Frassinelli youth hostel offers clean two-, four- and six-bed rooms for a fraction of what other accommodations are charging. Beds start at £10pn. albergueribadesella.com

A few kilometres outside of Llanes, in the neighbouring village of Celorio, Hotel Miracielos is set on a beautiful estate within walking distance of many of Asturias’ most picturesque beaches. The staff is exceedingly friendly, and quick to offer guidance on the area. Rooms start from £35pn, breakfast included. hotelmiracielos.es

Design fiends should definitely check in to the newly built Ayre Hotel Oviedo. Set in a recently finished conference centre practically made of windows, it offers stunning views over Oviedo. Guests can even fall asleep with a neon lightshow operating over their bed. One for wow factor. Rooms start at £75pn. ayrehoteles.com/ayrehoteloviedo

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

It’s amore This is Naples in 48 hours WORDS KELLY GRIFFIN

DAY 1: 10:00 Naples is a charismatic mix of gritty and chic, with its tangle of shabby streets and polished piazzas. Begin your wanderings in Centro Storico, Naples’ historic centre, which dates back to ancient Roman times. Here, you’ll discover the city’s most handsome attractions, including religious complex Santa Chiara, known for its monastery, tombs and archaeological museum, and the beautiful churches of Gesu Nuovo and San Lorenzo.

11:30 Make sure you visit the Piazzetta Nilo to gawk at the statue of the Lactating Man. Rumour has it the Greek statue was unearthed, sans head, in the 12th century, but its 17th-century restorer popped the bonce of a bearded man on top, ignoring the rather obvious fact the body is that of a female nursing a baby.

12:00 Eccentric ‘Dolls Hospital’ Ospedale delle Bambole (San Biagio del Librai 81) is where once-loved dolls come to die. It’s a fourth-generation toy repair shop crammed to the rafters with antique doll’s parts. A little creepy, yes, but worth a look.

13:00 If that odd sight didn’t curb your appetite, L.U.I.S.E (Piazza dei Martiri 68) is a decent little deli where you can grab local fare to go (breads, meats, cheeses) or dine on the likes of gnocchi and risotto in the back. Meals from £12.

14:00 The National Archaeological Museum (Piazza Museo Nazionale, 19) houses one of the world’s most impressive collections of Greek and Roman artifacts, excavated from sites in Pompeii, Herculaneum and Stabiae.

Stop off at the museum’s not-so-secret ‘Secret Cabinet’ and look through the collection of ancient Roman erotica.

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17:00 With a big night still ahead, get caffeinated at Caffe Mexico (Piazza Dante 86). Take your coffee like a local: a short, strong and black espresso.

19:00 Naples is the holy grail for pizza lovers and there’s an overwhelming choice of pizzerias to eat at. A steady row of locals lined out the door tends to be a sure sign that the nosh is top notch. We recommend Di Matteo (94 Via dei Tribunali) for its cheap-as-chips creations that keep Neapolitans coming back for more.

20:00 Rather pricey, but certainly an experience you won’t forget, take in a show at the opulent Teatro di San Carlo (teatrosancarlo.it), the oldest working opera house in Europe. Designed in 1621 and rebuilt in 1816 following a fire, the interiors are a sight to behold – red and gold decor with a lavishly painted ceiling.

22:00 That’s enough culture. Reward your efforts with cocktails at the stylish S’move (Vico dei Sospiri, 10) and get your groove on with a live DJ set.

23:00 Madison Street (Via Sgambati 47) is Naples’ biggest and most popular night club, pumping out chart and dance music to a young and hedonistic crowd. We hear Thursdays and Saturdays are the busiest if you’re out to make some new friends.

DAY 2: 11:00 Join the locals for a Sunday stroll along the seafront at Via Caracciolo, a picturesque pedestrianised street beginning at Santa Lucia and ending at Mergellina.

With the fresh sea breeze, the sun on your skin, and the sight of couples linked arm in arm, slurping on sweet gelato, there’s really no better way to start the day.

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Flippin’ marvellous: Naples is a pizza lover’s heaven

13:00 Wander into Galleria Umberto, opposite the Teatro di San Carlo, to see one of the grandest interiors in all of Italy. Near-doppelganger of the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele in Milan, its glass-roofed arcade and mosaic floor are the height of 18th-century style.

15:00 Renowned chocolatier Gay-Odin (gay-odin.it) serves up the best sinful treats in all of Naples. Don’t be deterred by the line out the door – the service is quick and the mind-blowing chocolate is definitely worth the wait.

Gay-odin also does a delicious line in gelato.

16:00 The small port of Borgo Marinaro is where the Greeks first settled the city in the 7th century BC. It’s an idyllic setting in which to unwind with a cocktail or glass of wine, as you watch the bobbing boats in the ocean near majestic 11th-century castle Castel dell’Ovo, Naples’ oldest. Legend has it that Borgo Marinaro is where the siren Partenope washed up on the shore after failing to woo Ulysses with her song.

18:00 Enjoy fresh seafood on the beachfront at Ciro al Borgo Marinaro where, although not cheap, service is faultless and the ocean view spectacular.

21:00 End your weekend by toasting the city with its cheapest glass (well, plastic cup) of wine, found at A Pigna d’Uvao (Vico Lungo Teatro Nuovo 31). Don’t expect to pay more than £1 for a cup.

Fly direct from London to Naples from about £209 return with easyjet easyjet.com More info on Naples at visitnaplesitaly.com

Castel dell’Ovo: the city’s oldest, and most impressive, castle

Shop til you drop: Galleria Umberto for gorgeous browsing TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Prost! Say cheers to Bavarian culture

Oktoberfest BERLIN

MUNICH, GERMANY

GERMANY Cologne

GETTING THERE Direct flights from London Luton to Munich start from about ÂŁ143 return with Monarch. monarch.co.uk Alternatively, book an organised tour with coach travel included.

Munich

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Grin and beer it It’s almost time for the world’s most-loved beer festival to pitch up and start pouring. Here’s your essential guide to Bavaria’s best EDITED BY LAURA CHUBB

WHEN TO GO: This year Oktoberfest is on from September Oktoberfest is the stuff of legend. The 202The 16-day event began innocently 22 until October 7. year-old tradition – beginning on September enough – when Crown Prince Ludwig 22 and chugging on blearily until October 7 married Princess Therese of Bavaria on CURRENCY: £1 = €1.27 this year – is a do-before-you-die essential October 12,1810, the people of Munich ACCOMMODATION: and the world’s most notorious piss-up. thought it only appropriate to party.

Room prices skyrocket over But while glugging down the good stuff A festival has run annually since, morphing Oktoberfest, so you’ll be lucky to is undoubtedly a fundamental part of the from a stint as an agricultural show to get a bed in a dorm for £20pn. festival, it’s also a brilliant chance to soak a super-sized celebration of Bavarian beer.

It is possible, however, to do just up some traditional Bavarian hospitality Today, the world’s biggest fair has more that at clean and friendly and enjoy mixing with the locals. than seven million litres of beer guzzled, Jugendherberge Possenhofen.

And steins aside, it would be a crime to 90,000 litres of wine consumed and nearly possenhofen.jugendherberge.de visit Munich and not see anything of the 120,000 pork sausages eaten.

Probably your best bet to save city. From river surfing to naked sunbathing, The party officially kicks off at noon on on accommodation is to book an it’s easily one of Germany’s most exciting the festival’s first day, when Munich’s lord organised tour, on which hostel or metropolises, and deserves to be explored. mayor taps a keg of beer and cries: “O’ zapft camping accommodation is more Here, we give you everything you need to is”, or, “It’s tapped”. Only then can visitors often than not included. make your Oktoberfest a (at least partially) quench their thirst. oktoberfest.de/en memorable one. Read on for what to expect Each tent has its own character, from in the beer tent, essential sights to see in Munich, and our the funky celebrity-packed Hippodrom and the youthful top tips for making it through an entire booze-fuelled day.

Löwenbräu, to the displays of yodelling in the Braeurosl and traditional roasting oxen in the Ochsenbraterei.

Bring on the beer, by Inger Smith We opt for the Löwenbräu and, by noon, my husband is A minor scuffle breaks out as a line of excited beer lovers slumped against a table. Well, he did knock back the beers senses the brew is near. Such a scene is commonplace in any a little faster than everyone else. What he should have pub any night of the week, but it’s only 8am in Munich. known is this is marathon drinking, not a sprint.

Already, the masses are congregating outside Oktoberfest’s After a powernap, he catches a second wind and knocks Löwenbräu tent, ready for another day of solid drinking. back another four steins, the equivalent of what I drink Inside, getting your bum on one of the sought-after in one day. Although we attempt to explore all of this wooden benches is the most essential step of procuring mammoth festival – aiming to visit each of the 14 beer ` a stein – if you don’t, you won’t be served. Once you’ve halls, festival houses and Schnapps stalls – the absence found a seat, though, you’re sorted for the rest of the day of a Bavarian-standard liver means we fail miserably. and can focus on downing, singing and dancing.

However, it’s not only the amber brew tempting today’s Seated, my friends and I – dressed in traditional lederhosen Oktoberfest visitors. The tents are surrounded by a large and dirndls – are waited upon by buxom Bavarian barmaids. fairground with rides – rollercoasters, bumper cars, carousels These ladies shuttle staggering amounts of beer-filled steins and games means there’s plenty of entertainment. all day (the Guinness world record is 19). In comparison, my In fact, not only will you be entertained, this will most hands ache from grasping just my one-litre mug. likely be the biggest – and best – party you’ll ever attend.

Beer is served from 9am on weekends and 10am on So put on your drinking boots (along with a pair of weekdays. It’s a tad earlier than I normally crack open my lederhosen or a dirndl), and let the fun begin. Prost! first drink of the day, but I’m caught up in the raucous EXPLORE THE WONDERS OF MUNICH ›› atmosphere of the festival, this ‘Disneyland for drinkers’.

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Top: catching rays and river surfing in the English Garden. Bottom: what to expect from the notorious fest

There’s more to Munich The capital of the state of Bavaria and Germany’s thirdlargest city, Munich has battled more than its fair share of adversity to become the fun-loving locale it is today. The city suffered heavy bombing during World War II, with widespread damage wreaked by 71 air raids during just six years; post-war, tragedy at the 1972 Munich Olympics added yet more trauma to the city’s history.

Today, the only major structures to survive the Allied bombing are the Glockenspiel and the twin domed towers of Munich’s famous cathedral. However, despite many of the city’s buildings clocking in at less than 60 years old, many have retained pre-war architecture: the Nazis took steps to record the streetscapes and facades of the city, knowing it would be a target for aerial assaults.

As well as retaining its looks, the city has held on to the Bavarian tradition of having a damned good time. Here’s our pick of the best of Munich. Take it in on a beer break.

• RIVER SURFING: Packs of wetsuit-clad dudes toting boards may seem a strange sight in a land-locked metropolis.

However, Munich is home to one of Europe’s most notorious surf spots, more specifically a gnarly wave on a manmade river in the city’s Englischer Garten (or English Garden). The Eisbach – German for ‘ice brook’ – has attracted river surfers since the early Seventies, but riding the 1m-high wave only became legal in 2010. It’s not for novices, though; signs warn the wave is for skilled surfers only – people have drowned while swimming in the river, courtesy of its forceful current.

If you’re not quite ready to queue up with the pros (the spot is always a busy one and you’ll often see lines of surfers waiting their turn), you’ll enjoy some great spectating. The 82

English Garden is also worth a visit in its own right – the grassy sprawl is bigger than both Hyde and Central parks, and makes a particularly pleasant place to picnic to the sound of street musicians. Keep an eye out for the fields of naked sunbathers.

• OLYMPIC PARK: The Munich Olympics in 1972 are forever synonymous with the so-called ‘Munich Massacre’, when athletes from the Israeli Olympic team were abducted from the Olympic village, held hostage and subsequently

››

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murdered by members of Palestinian terror group Black September Organisation. Today, the Olympic Park has transcended its dark past to become a popular public venue, hosting major concerts and sporting events. Perhaps its most impressive feature is the 290m-high Olympic Tower, the top of which you can reach via a lift. Here, soak up a panorama of Munich, and a series of signs guides you to the finer points of the city’s skyline. If that’s not quite thrilling enough, why not take a stroll on the Olympic Stadium’s roof?

An impressive ‘tented’ cover, constructed from steel and plexiglass, allows you to roam over the top while hooked up to a steel cable. It’ll give you a whole different perspective, but is best avoided by the vertigo-prone. From about £30.

“

It’s the best party you’ll ever attend

”

• SIGHTSEEING: Most people might spend their time in Munich inside a beer hall, but there are plenty of sights to stumble around if you care for fresh air. One of the most popular is the Rathaus-Glockenspiel, essentially a giant cuckoo-clock on the town hall that enacts stories from Munich’s 16th-century history, with the help of 43 bells and 32 life-size figures.

The Frauenkirche – or Cathedral of Our Dear Lady – is Munich’s spiritual masterpiece, an imposing church said to house the devil’s footprint. There are a few versions of the legend that attends it; either it marks where the devil stood as he ridiculed the church, or the builder duped the devil into funding construction of the cathedral, leading the hoofed and horny one into a foot-stamping rage when he discovered he had been hoodwinked. Take a peek at the footprint and make your own mind up about its authenticity.

Leopoldstrasse is the place to head for people watching.

This once-bohemian area has now gentrified into a catwalk for Munich’s most glamorous residents. Take a beer at an outside table and watch this wonderful world go by – just ›› try not to drool.

Dale Cotton: an Oktoberfest veteran

The Insider's guide Dale Cotton, aka Dax, is a senior guide with Busabout and an Oktoberfest expert. He tells us his top tips for having the best Oktoberfest ever.

Dress up. “While not compulsory, I can’t recommend wearing lederhosen or dirndl highly enough. You feel more part of the event, look more part of the event – as more people are dressed in them than not – and at the end of the day you have a great souvenir to take home.”

Pace yourself. “Remembering to eat and having a regular stein of water are great ways to last the day.

Dancing on the tables and singing along with the live bands ensures you’re not constantly drinking.

The word ‘radler’ could also be your best friend. It’s a shandy (half beer, half lemonade) in German and is hard to spot with the naked eye. Just whisper it to the waitress and no one will suspect.”

Take along the right spirit. “I have been to five Oktoberfests and I have never seen a drunken brawl.

Everyone is there to have a good time and if there is someone who is not quite entering the spirit of the event or causing problems, the massive security officers that patrol each tent will escort them out pretty damn quick.”

Try tent-hopping. “Every tent has its own unique atmosphere. You should experience as many of them as possible. I recommend staying put in one or two tents for your first day to get a feel for the place, and then once you feel confident, tent-hopping can be a great way to spend your second day.

Eat Bavarian fare. “All the food at Oktoberfest has been developed over its 202-year history to soak up alcohol.

Pork knuckle and half a handl – which is chicken – are particularly effective.”

Sing along: oompah bands abound

busabout.com

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The world’s largest museum dedicated to technology and science, the Deutsches Museum, on a small island in the Isar river, displays an intimidating 28,000 items for your perusal.

There are few inventions that have escaped the halls of this comprehensive collection. Especially awesome-in-a-geekyway attractions include mini models and a demonstration in which a volunteer is zapped with a bolt of lightning.

Who said science was boring?

• NEUSCHWANSTEIN: An easy day trip from Munich, Germany’s ‘fairytale castle’ is widely held to be the inspiration behind Disney’s signature fantasy fortress. Built by 'Mad King Ludwig' in the 19th century, and overlooking a misty-eye-inspiring spread of Alpine valleys, it’s one of Europe’s most iconic sights, reeling in 1.3m tourists a year.

To really get into the spirit of things, take a horse and cart up the steep road that leads to the castle high in the hills. Keep an eye out for the fort’s myriad swan motifs – Ludwig was obsessed with the regal bird from childhood, and the castle’s very name translates to ‘new swan stone’. ❚

Top to bottom: the Munich skyline; don your beer goggles; [Caption]the mayor officially opens the festival

Go east: art on the Berlin Wall

BEST OF THE REST GERMANY’S MUST-SEES BERLIN This world-class city marries a disturbing history with a vital present, and no visit to the hip heart of Europe is complete without a generous serving of both. Feel the Cold War chill at Checkpoint Charlie and check out contemporary art on the Berlin Wall (known as the East Side Gallery); then don your skinny jeans for the artbars of Kreuzberg and do your darndest to get into ‘the world’s best club’, Berghain. visitberlin.de/en

Photos: Getty

COLOGNE Most famous for its beer-soaked carnival in November, Cologne makes a great weekend getaway. Find your culture fix at the ghostly twin-spired cathedral (said to house the bones of the Three Kings from the Bible) and by browsing the postmodern art at Ludwig Museum. Come nightfall, rack up the local Kölsch at the city’s myriad beer halls and end up in the dive bars of student district Luxemberger Strase. cologne-tourism.com HAMBURG A city of light and dark, Hamburg is best known for its Red Light District, in which The Beatles got their start (playing gigs, that is). Today, there’s still plenty of sleaze, but the gorgeous Alster Lake and pretty waterside cycling paths offer up some clean living, too. hamburg-tourism.de/en

NEXT WEEK California dreaming: San Diego’s sublime beer and beaches Beer absorbant

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It might seem like a long way of but we all know it comes around quickly. We have a host of Xmas Tours to suit time and budgets, from our 5 day Berlin Tour to 2 weeks in Eygpt . See our website for full packages. and itinearies.

Coming Soon - SNOWMAD 2013 Full itineraries and tour information can be found on our website or by calling our office. First Festival Travel, 68 North End Rd, London W14 9EP Closest Tube: West Kensington TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EGYPT

& MIDDLE EAST UK Golden Backpack

NER WIN vourite Fa M iddle East Operator A s voted by you!

9 DAY Jordan & Israel

Dep. 5 Aug 2012

Dep. 24 Aug 2012

Dep. 18 Aug 2012

WAS £650

WAS £605

WAS £975

OFF

£550

Includes US$240 local payment

FESTIVALS

£530

Includes £110 local payment

Oktoberfest

& SHORT BREAKS

5 DAY Prostmeister Camping 21-25 Sep, 28 Sep-2 Oct, 4-8 Oct

FROM

£229

24 -27 August 2012

ONLY

£279

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Make the most of the Summer Bank Holiday!

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FROM

£249

4 DAYS Amsterdam

7 DAY Grossmeister

August Bank Holiday

Camping

24-27 August 2012

L8291 / Y2992

TNT_1508_travel.indd 96

Make your own way Camping

£109

Central hostel multi-share

£249

4 DAY FROM

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CALL 0845 257 5210

FROM

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TRAVEL

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SAVE UP TO 20% OFF!

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NOW

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ly Ju f o th 4 e th n o n r o B North America Introducing Topdeck

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*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.642, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. North America discount and “Win your trip for free” details available at www.topdeck.travel - See online for full terms and conditions.

TNT_1508_travel.indd 97

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europe

we

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

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08450 267 514 TNT_1508_travel.indd 98

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info@busabout.com 20/7/12 09:53:21

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COMPASS BUSTER DAYS (WED) £415 NOW £355 (STUDENTS NOW £335) Orkney, Western Isles, Isle of Skye & Loch Ness

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WAS £215 NOW £175 (Students Now £165) GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY, DERRY & BELFAST Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

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TRAVEL IN LESS STYLE great britain

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FROM europe escape

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TRAVEL

OKTOBERFEST

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13-22 AUG 13-30 AUG

£529 £989

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ISLANDS

GREEK ISLANDS

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■ Prague + Buda Fest 8 Days fr£329 ✔ Prague ✔ Budapest ✔ Salzburg / Vienna Thu-Tue fr£229 ■ 6 Days Coach Tours ✔ Return coach from London ✔ Camping or hostel Fri-Mon fr£129 ■ 4 Days Camping ✔ Twin or single tents ✔ Coach shuttles Fri-Mon fr£179 ■ 4 Days Hostel ✔ Choice of Munich’s top hostels Fri-Mon £329 ■ 4 Days Hotel ✔ Munich’s #1 Oktoberfest hotel!

Mid week camping & hostel options also available fr£99!

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TRAVEL

Get amongst it!

STRANDED??

Support offered for Kumuka customers: range of overlanding and adventure travel holidays â&#x20AC;˘ Wide weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll strive to find the best alternative Many trips already cheaper than Kumuka - or weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll â&#x20AC;˘ price match truck network - we will pick up stranded â&#x20AC;˘ Extensive customers, with on-the-road discounts available

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Customers should call Dragoman or Imaginative Traveller on 01728 888018 Both brands now sit under the same umbrella company Dragoman Overseas Travel Limited, which holds an Air Travel Organisers License (ATOL 4157), issued and bonded by the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) to ensure customers are protected.

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THJIHJRWHJRLYZ JVT

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TRAVEL

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS WEEKEND BREAKS PARIS BY EUROSTAR from £225

Departs every week ( Friday - Sunday) throughout the summer.

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EGYPTIAN EXPRESS Ancient Egypt at its very best in 9 intoxicating days!

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egypt

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DAY TRIPS

-15 days

¸ Sat 4th Aug Cambridge from £32 ¸ Sun 5th Aug Warwick Castle from £32 ¸ Sat 11th Aug York from £45 ¸ Sat 18th Aug Cotswolds from £40

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Turkey - 12 day tour Croatia Sailing - 8 days Russia - 6 day tour Morocco - 15 day tour

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