TNT Magazine / Issue 1509

July 30-August 5 2012 Issue 1509 tntmagazine.com magazine.co ne.cccom co om m

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TICKETS FOR YOU + 19 MATES TO WATCH THE BRONCO S

CALIFORNIA DREAMING Paddleboarding and craft beer in San Diego

HAVING A LAUGH Camden Fringe and London’s best comedy

TALKING BULLSHIT Funnyman Mark Little on his new stand-up gig

R E N N U R E BLAD Pistorius r a c s O to t a We ch

on no legs ld r o w e th man in – the fastest

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26/7/12 12:15:37

CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Should a man who runs on blades instead of feet be allowed to compete at the Olympics? That was the question Oscar Pistorius was hit with – and one that has been asked ever since he was given the green light. Let us know what you think after reading our pre-Games interview with him on P58. Talking of controversy, Mark Little is in town, aiming to take the bullshit out of life with his new stand-up routine. Read more on P30.

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

19

LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22, 25

COMPETITION

24

CHATROOM RICHARD SANDLING

27

LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

64

28-29 34

LIFESTYLE

35-45

SHOPPING

35

FEATURES FRINGE BENEFITS

8

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

CAREERS

38-39

LIVING

44-45

NO BULLSHIT

NEWS & SPORT

46-59

UK-based Aussie comedian has a new show designed to make you think

COMPETITION TRAVEL

Photos: Getty

12

54 61-86

DIARY

62

NEWS

63

LATE DEALS

66

HOTSHOTS

69

TOP FIVE

70-71

TIPS & STUFF

72, 75

48 HOURS IN ... AMSTERDAM 80-81 CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

88-113 114

The Camden Fringe is back with nonstop entertainment – all on your doorstep

THE BLADE RUNNER

30

30

58

Sprinter Oscar Pistorius is aiming to set the world alight at London 2012

CULTURE CAPITAL

64

The lowdown on the not-to-be-missed events at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe

KEEP IT UNDERGROUND

76

A little local knowledge will help you tap into the secret bars of Sofia, Bulgaria

JUST CHILL

82

Sample craft beer, ride the waves and stay mellow in laidback San Diego

82 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social Media Dan Thorne

LONDONDIARY

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Twelve hours of the undead!

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com WHERE TO GET TNT

Shhh... SECRET LONDON AMY GRIMEHOUSE PRESENTS ZOMBIE FETE ISLINGTON METAL WORKS

Alt film club Grimehouse is set to unleash this undead spectacle – it’s just like your regular English summer fair, only it replaces the goldfish in plastic bags and Morris dancing with a zombie tombola and beauty pageant. Amid the flesh-munching and bloodletting, there’ll also be a 12-hour zombie movie marathon (think Romero, Shaun of the Dead, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and the ace Zombieland), and a ‘Back From The Dead’ disco.

Zombie royalty will be on hand to open the fete, too. The living need not attend, though. £15

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

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MONOREX – LIVE GRAFFITI

ENDURE: A RUN WOMAN SHOW

RIO OCCUPATION LONDON FINALE

East London design boutique Monorex bring their creativity to the Book Club for a spot of evening ‘live graffiti’. A concrete backdrop in the Basecamp will provide the canvas for a work of street art, using local artists. Try making that Olympic-themed without contravening sponsorship laws.

This show considers the isolationism and obsessive-compulsive aspects of sport, and takes the inner mind of an athlete as its launch pad. The twist: Melanie Jones’s show is an immersive dance theatre performance in Holyrood Park with the audience participating through loaned MP3 players.

Three days of Brazilian artistic extravaganza comprising 30 artists and their works, including installations, cinema, performance, theatre, dance and music, such as the Endless Poem and ‘guerilla banana’ street art. Each day ends with a Latin American-flavoured party, as well.

Thurs, Aug 2. 7pm EC2A 4RH Shoreditch High Street wearetbc.com

Thurs, Aug 2-5. 7pm Riverside Studios, W6 9RL Hammersmith riversidestudios.co.uk

Aug 1-3. From 3pm V22, Biscuit Factory, SE16 4DG Bermondsey bac.org.uk

FREE

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

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FINAL 1509 Lon Diary.indd 4

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Looking to escape the congested tube?

Greener pastures await you in New Zealand.

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Their mums never told them about the ‘no feet on the table’ etiquette

Are you feeling confined by the tube? Suppressed by the concrete jungle? Are the massive crowds getting you down?

Longing for the greener pastures, and fresh opportunities… think of New Zealand!

That’s right - Wide open spaces, vast native forests, clean flowing rivers, Marmite, Buzzy Bees, Tiki’s, Haka’s, Rugby and thermal pools – all await you back home!

So ditch the Tube, give the concrete jungle the flick and leave the crowds behind. Come back home – to the Soho of Auckland.

GLOBAL FEAST

RECRUITMENT CONSULTANTS - AUCKLAND

Stratford

Cuisines from around the world jostle for position at this Olympic-themed food fest, in which chefs attempt to dazzle with their culinary skills. All the grub’s served up at a 15m x 6m map-of-the-world table, so you can swig champers while enjoying curry off the Thai coast, or down some ales while sitting on the US eastern seaboard. The world’s your oyster! £50+

July 25-Aug 13. 6.30pm-9pm Stratford Old Town Hall, E15 4BQ

Stratford

DESIGNED TO WIN

STREET TABLE FOOTBALL

As the Games get into full swing, this exhibition investigates the relationship between science, sport and design.

It’s not just training and hard work that makes champions, but also the finest tech designs that help athletes become faster, stronger and better, year upon year. £11

July 26-Nov 18. 10am-5.45pm Design Museum, SE1 2YD London Bridge designmuseum.org

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globalfeast2012.com

Graffiti, tequila and table football combine, at a cost of nada, across east London. Copa Futbolito, in conjunction with el Jimador tequila, provides six specially designed Mexican tables. It all kicks off with a ‘Footbolita’ fest at Vibe Bar in Brick Lane on the opening weekend. It’s like snooker: you always play better after a few drinks.

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27/7/12 13:33:50

LONDONNEWS BELLS ACROSS THE WORLD RING IN 2012

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Shame about the rain: the torch by Tower Bridge

If you thought your ears were ringing on Friday, it wasn’t tinnitus, but bells marking the start of the Games.

Churches across the UK and British embassies around the world got into the spirit of the extravaganza, devised by artist Martin Creed as part of a 12-week programme of cultural events.

Churches, cyclists, doors and mobile phones rang out, as well as Big Ben – the first time it has rung outside its regular hours since 1952. Creed said: “I thought maybe if I did something with music or making a noise, it could go out across the city, you know, and across the country.”

The excitement is growing so much I think the Geiger counter of Olympo-mania is going to go zoink off the scale London mayor Boris Johnson can’t contain his enthusiasm

THUMBS DOWN FOR GAMES MASCOTS The one-eyed Olympic mascots have been greeted with mixed views as tourists pour into London.

‘Creepy’, ‘frightening’, ‘sinister’ and ‘disturbing’ are just some of the words used to describe Wenlock and Mandeville.

The duo are popping up across the capital during the Games. Actor Ewan McGregor tweeted: “With this country’s artistic heritage this one eyed joke made me sad.”

ON THE TUBE

And the Games begin...

After 70 days and 8000 torchbears the flame finally ends its journey It may seem as though the Olympic torch has taken forever to reach its final destination, but on Friday it worked its way across the capital to the Olympic Park.

It’s climbed mountains, sailed down rapids, been on a gondola, braved the Underground, travelled by helicopter and been carried by 8000 torchbearers.

About three million people will have taken to the streets of the capital to cheer on the Olympic flame in the past week, bringing the total to about 13 million during its 70-day tour of Britain.

The relay began its final journey at Hampton Court Palace, made famous by Henry VIII, where the torch successfully

negotiated the winding hedge maze. It then boarded the royal barge Gloriana to ride down the River Thames.

On Friday, it arrived at Tower Bridge, which is decked with huge Olympic rings, before reappearing later at the Olympic Stadium in east London for the Opening Ceremony where it set alight the cauldron to signal the official launch of the Games.

“Are we ready? Are we ready? Yes, we are,” mayor of London Boris Johnson said to 60,000 cheering people at a concert in the capital’s Hyde Park on Thursday.”

He added: “I think people are going to well up with hot tears of patriotic pride when they see this [the Opening Ceremony].” Let us know if he was right.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

OLYMPIC SCHEDULE

WATERLOO: Trains will be running until 1am until Sunday, August 12, to meet the extra demand during the Games.

ALL OTHER LINES: The Tube and DLR services will run until about an hour later during the Olympics. Last trains from central London will leave about 1.40am.

STATIONS: TfL will close stations at certain times during the day to cope with overcrowding. Check before you leave.

WEBSITE: For the latest Olympic travel

6

Photos: Getty

news, log on to getaheadofthegames.com

We’re not going to insult your intelligence by telling you the Games are on this week. Instead, we’re going to highlight the inflatable, bouncy Stonehenge now open.

The installation, known as Sacrilege, is by Turner Prizewinner Jeremy Deller, will be visiting parks around London as part of the London 2012 Festival celebrations.

Deller has said it’s “a way to get reacquainted with ancient Britain with your shoes off”. What better excuse do you need?

What’s more, it’s free and open to all ages.

Boris Johnson said: “You don’t have to be a specialist in ancient British history or an acolyte of the summer solstice ritual to be aware of the unending fascination that Stonehenge continues to inspire around the world.” Quite.

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FINAL 1509 LON news PIX.indd 6

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Camden becomes even more colourful when the suburb’s fringe festival swings into action

R

Fringe benefits Forget Edinburgh as Camden serves its own colourful treat of cultural indulgence … and you don’t even have to leave town WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

In a year in which it really does pay to be in London, the Camden Fringe launches its seventh annual assault on the cultural senses, with a jam-packed programme of comedy, theatre, cabaret and music, sometimes all at the same time, and on the same stage, too.

“There are so many great festivals now, it’s difficult to stand out,” Fringe co-director Michelle Flower says.

“But Camden is a great place to have a festival – it’s a real hive of creativity and is an interesting borough that includes lots of different people and areas: from leafy Highgate to the edge of the West End.” The festival’s line-up this year lives up to its diverse surrounds, thanks to what Flower calls “a very open policy”. Anyone can apply and CFF now allows acts to find their own venues. This means there are shows in unusual locations, such as the Jewish Museum (Much Ado About Noshing, Aug 5).

As well as the regulation pubs and theatres, other venues making their Fringe influence felt are The Forge, 8

a concert house designed for sublime acoustics, and The Pirate Castle, a venue that serves as a base for all sorts of activities, from canal boat hire, cayaking and canoeing as well as, of course, cultural performances.

“The big random factor this year is the Olympics, which they unwisely decided to run up against the start of the Camden Fringe,” Flower jokes.

“We can’t predict what effect this might have, but each year, as word about the Fringe spreads and the companies that have grown with us return, the festival gets better and better.”

Kicking off in 2006 with just one venue, the Etcetera Theatre, and 57 artists and performers, the CFF has now blossomed in to a veritable feast of goings on, with 16 venues and no fewer than 126 different productions.

With so many shows to choose from, Flower is unfazed about competition from the other Fringe festival taking place north of the border during August, though, nor the sporting events going on in London.

In fact, she’s more concerned about people not knowing what to see, so to help festival-goers out, we’ve picked her brain for the acts she’s itching to unleash on the public “Get Over It Productions have been stalwarts of the Fringe for many years,” Flower recommends.

“Usually they do Shakespeare adaptations, but this year they are doing a modern play called Deathline [a dark comedy about second chances, the afterlife and fallen angels], and I also really like the look of War Of The Wales, all about the disintegration of Charles and Diana’s marriage.”

So, if the Games gets too much for you, and you have enough of watching sports you have never played or followed before, then get to Camden Town, and take your pick.

You are guaranteed to be surprised and entertained in equal measure.

MORE FRINGE & STAGE EVENTS ›› Camden Fringe. July 30-August 26 Various venues Camden Town camdenfringe.com

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Red Girl: a Lynchian take on the Riding Hood tale

Gap Year: a truthful account of the ‘year out’ myth

10 Days Earlier: what to do if zombies attack

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THAT THING IN AUGUST: A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIMELESSNESS KENTISH TOWN This ambitious comedy-theatre show has none other than the goal of proving to the audience that time does not exist (presumably within the running time of an evening stage show). Quite a tough sell but, as host for the evening Matt Welcome explains, even Einstein thought time might be just a ‘persistent illusion’. Prepare to have your grey matter (and funny bones) tested.

ANDY ZALTZMAN’S POLITICAL ANIMAL LEICESTER SQUARE

£10

Aug 1-6, 9-11 & 13. 7.30pm.

Aug 12. 9pm Lion and Unicorn Theatre, NW5 2ED Kentish Town giantolive.com

JAMES MULLINGER: THE MAN WITH NO SHAME CAMDEN A man who has no shame about what he does or has done, taking to the stage to entertain, and perhaps shock, with his misdemeanours and truthful approach to stand-up, life on the stage, and existence in general. Mullinger promises to bring you an evening of shocks and laughs, so go along, be surprised, and walk away wondering whether shame is indeed a vice or virtue. £7.50

Aug 3-13. 9pm Etcetera Theatre, NW1 7BU

Camden Town

etceteratheatre.com

CHRIS NEILL: LIFETIME ACHIEVER CAMDEN TOWN

Musical melodies and pop music parodies from this harmonious trio in a show that promises to make you smile from ear to ear.

Melody La Rouge sings this tribute to Broadway and, in particular, Kander & Webb, the songwriting duo behind some of musical theatre’s greatest hits. Chicago, Cabaret, New York New York, they’re behind them all. They’re doing a week in Camden before taking off the Fringe north of the border.

Aug 6-11. 9.15pm Tristan Bates Theatre, WC2H 9NP Covent Garden tristanbatestheatre.com

This cabaret show is a love letter to the age when cabaret was black and white, full of innuendo, and, above all, intended to entertain. Bettie Burlesque is your host for this evening of variety, that includes burlesque, magic, music and comedy. It will leave you wide-eyed with wonder.

Rosie set out six years ago to have swingball introduced as an Olympic sport by 2012, she failed (only 32 signatures in support). She‘s back with a new hour about summer sports and her misadventures of the past half a decade.

A Fringe regular, Chris arrives in Camden to tell of the year in which his life fell apart.

As the comedian explains: “The age of 41, freshly single and weeping like a little girl, it was the worst year of my life.” To add to his bad luck, it was also the year in which he died on stage in front of the prime minister, got himself sued by a multinational bank and played a depressed owl to boot. This tumultuous 12 months forms the basis of this new show – two years on from the Chrisapocalypse – in which he considers how it all went a bit wrong, and how he managed to claw his way back from the brink of ruin to find success again.

Aug 5, 6 & 8. 8pm The Black Heart, NW1 0AP Camden Town ourblackheart.com

Aug 1. 7pm Camden Head, NW1 0LU Camden Town thecamdenhead.co.uk

Aug 11-13. 6pm Etcetera Theatre, NW1 7BU Camden Town etceteratheatre.com

£7.50

10

Aug 6. 6.30pm Soho Theatre, W1D 3NE Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

SCALES OF THE UNEXPECTED CAMDEN £12

CABARET OF POTTINESS CAMDEN

The political satirist is joined by a host of special guests for this topical news and current affairs show in which the modern world gets the analysis it sorely needs, and not before time. With the planet going crazy for people running, jumping and throwing things while wearing tightfitting branded clothing, London’s quest to not drop the ball will surely come up for discussion. Maybe, too, the fact the logo still really looks like Lisa Simpson indulging in a spot of fellatio. £10

July 30. 7.30pm Upstairs at the Gatehouse, N6 4BD Camden Town upstairsatthegatehouse.com

SWINGBALL CHAMPION CAMDEN £7

£6

KISS OF THE RED MENACE COVENT GARDEN £10

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HOW NOT TO MAKE IT IN BRITPOP CAMDEN

ROBIN INCE IS IN AND OUT OF HIS MIND CAMDEN

Fringe regular Rosie hits the fest with two shows this year, this second one recounting her attempts to make it in the heady days of Nineties indie-pop (she failed again) – a time when she supported Bob Geldof and mimed on children’s TV. How not to get ahead in showbiz.

The lauded comedian performs this work-in-progress show for one night only at the Fringe, in which he considers the human mind – or it could be about theories of the brain … or even Charles Darwin. He’s not sure yet.

£12

Aug 3, 9pm. Aug 4 & 5, 7.30pm Upstairs, Gatehouse, SE14 5PL Highgate upstairsatthegatehouse.com

£7.50

Aug 23. 6.30pm Camden Head, NW1 0LU Camden Town thecamdenhead.co.uk

WILL YOU HOLD MY HAND CAMDEN John Hunter is the father of modern medicine, a revered individual whose name is celebrated and who has his own statue in Leicester Square. However, duo We Are Goose want to expose the man behind the myth, the man involved, or thought to be, with robbing graves and a collection of murders no less. An hour-long, grisly tale through history at its most lurid. Top stuff! £8

Aug 10-12. 8pm Camden Head, NW1 0LU

Camden Town

THE UNEXPECTED ITEMS – OLYM-PICS AND MIX HIGHBURY

thecamdenhead.co.uk

10 DAYS EARLIER CAMDEN

A two-man rock £5 opera about why the dinos died, and why they are coming back.

The sketch group turns their attention towards the Games, with sporting-skits and songs celebrating – and mocking – those for whom winning is everything. Losers!

Aug 13. 8pm The Camden Head, NW1 0LU Camden Town thecamdenhead.co.uk

August 2-4. 7.30pm Hen and Chickens Theatre, N1 2NA Highbury & Islington unrestrictedview.co.uk

THE BOAT SHOW EMBANKMENT

STATUS UPDATE CAMDEN

East End geezer Lee Hurst leads the lineup at this evening’s boat laughs. Admittedly, the craft is moored, but it has ace views over the river, from its vantage point opposite the South Bank.

This modern-life analysing show looks at how technology – the evil interweb! – shapes every waking moment, move and decision of our lives. Prescient stuff. Big Brother’s never been bigger.

This one-man play has lofty ambitions – it tells the story of an amateur scientist who finds out that there is going to be a zombie apocalypse, and recounts the 10 days between his life-shattering discovery and Z-day. Writer/director Lizzie Milton says of the show: “It’s an exploration of loneliness, how actors relate to an audience and the normalisation of tragic events in our lives.” This comedic performance, revolving around doomed protagonist Harold Grimhold, sees our antihero, or just non-hero, struggle to deal with life, whether zombies are on their way or not. Sketch actor and stand-up Andrew Goddard stars.

Aug 4, 11, 18 & 25 Tattershall Castle, SW1A 2HR Embankment boatshowcomedy.co.uk

Aug 1. 7.30pm Webber Douglas Studio Swiss Cottage camdenfringe.com

Aug 3-12. 3.30pm The Camden Head, NW1 0LU Camden Town thecamdenhead.co.uk

DINOSAUR PLANET CAMDEN

£13

£13

£7

£7.50

COIN-OPERATED GIRL CAMDEN Escort-turned-stand up Melody (above) reveals the answers to “all the questions you wanted to ask” in this anecdoteladen performance. £6

Aug 6-8. 9pm Camden People’s Theatre, NW1 2PY Camden Town cptheatre.co.uk

STAFFROOM CAMDEN Every wondered what the teachers say away from the classroom and parentteacher night? This new show spends a year in the company of Parkview Behaviour Support Unit as it battles gruelling Ofsted inspections, arson, and its challenging young wards.

An eye-opening look at today’s youth and those tasked with educating them. £8

Aug 20-25. 7.30pm Tristan Bates Theatre, WC2H 9NP Covent Garden tristanbatestheatre.co.uk

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MYLONDON

K E E P MISSING YOUR

TNT?

SEAMUS RYAN FOUNDER AND OWNER OF BOOTHNATION What baffles me about London is how traffic wardens can just appear from the ether and drain all humanity from a street. I’m sure some of them are adorable people, it’s just that I haven’t met any of those yet.

London’s best-kept secret is cycling the Grand Union Canal. Starting in central London, it winds its way through east London into the countryside.

I got as far as Stansted last time I did it.

When I want to chill out I go to the South Bank – to feel like a tourist again.

The most interesting person I’ve met was playwright Tom Stoppard. He strolled into one of my Sunday Shoots. I’m a huge fan and had just seen his play Rock ‘n’ Roll. I was uncharacteristically nervous. I am happy to say the portrait’s now part of the National Portrait Gallery’s collection.

My favourite place for a drink is The Royal Oak on Columbia Road, Bethnal Green – where I occasionally sort out most of the world’s problems.

For when you’re hungover in London head to Breakfast at Clicia in Stoke Newington – it’s a Mediterranean take on the English version.

What gets me up in the morning is the audacious belief today could just be the day I take the best photograph I have ever taken. I’m a hopeless romantic.

My perfect weekend? A relaxed Saturday, pottering in my garden, followed by a Sunday morning photoshoot with the public in my Flower Market Studio.

Are you looking forward to the Olympics? I’ve always loved it, no other sporting event seems so vital and important. I was very lucky to shoot a number of Team GB Olympians for the National Lottery campaign. Sadly, I don’t have a ticket, so will be watching it from home, a mere two miles away.

The biggest faux pas I have made was at one of my Sunday Shoots, I complimented a woman on what a loving son she had. She calmly informed me then that he was her boyfriend. I died a thousand deaths.

Five words that sum up London ... Vibrant, creative, frustrating, inspiring, home. boothnation.com; sundayshoots.com 12

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THE UNDERDOG

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Let the light shine in

BAR THE SCENE Plenty of space at this cosy Clapham neighbourhood bar, right across the road from the common. There’s ample room to enjoy the sunshine on tables outside or to lounge on the comfortable sofas that line the exposed brick walls inside. Concert artwork advertising the likes of The Beastie Boys and The Scissor Sisters adds hip decoration, as do photos of icons of cool (look for Jim Morrison defiantly sucking on a cigarette). The industrial feel is continued with steel girders in the bar’s centre and (inoffensive) fluro lighting. Huge windows at the front of the Underdog allow a welcome dose of natural light to enhance the lives of patrons as they enjoy their beverages. TVs show sport, and Thursday nights welcome the popular Bogan Bingo evening. Be quick – it sells out fast.

THE GRUB Self-described comfort food, taken from the diners of the US, there’s a great selection of burgers, nachos, sandwiches and wraps. Veggie options, too.

BEHIND THE BAR Heineken and Underdog on tap, plus a good selection of bottled beer, new-world wine and 21 different cocktails, including six made with specially selected jams. Try the Apple, Spice N’ All Things Nice.

BILL PLEASE Pints from £3.50; wine from £4/£15, cocktails from £7.50.

VERDICT Relaxed and cool, the Underdog will fast become your new hangout. JV

SW4 7AB

theunderdogbar.co.uk

3 OF THE BEST BEACH BARS

14

Clapham Common

CAMDEN BEACH

KANALOA

SUGAR CANE

Grab your best beach novel, towel and sunglasses and head to Camden Beach.

It comes complete with a Tiki bar, Margarita shack, real sand, and lawn chairs – you can practically hear the ocean.

Tropical cocktails served in coconuts? Piña coladas poured out into a pineapple?

Little drink umbrellas? This St Paul’s Tiki bar will make you think you’re on a tropical vacation – and, no, it’s not just the alcohol.

Aloha! This Tiki bar in Clapham serves up extensive menus of cocktails, from the classic Piña Colada to the deadly sounding Zombie, in a party atmosphere straight out of the tropics. Grab your hula skirt and head on over!

designmynight.com

kanaloaclub.com

thesugarcane.co.uk

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BITE SIZE

The new ‘Where’s Jedward’ book was a bit too easy

A TASTE OF HOME The country is coming to the Bedford Square. Open until mid-August, a pop-up at myhotel Bloomsbury will offer tastes of local beef, homebrewed beer and ice creams sure to satisfy any sweet tooth. This farmer’s market opens every day at noon, so pop by for variety in your lunch break or just for some all-around fantastic food in a community atmosphere. myhotels.com

FOOD WITH A CONSCIENCE Stuff your face for a good cause as part of The Supperheroes Series, running every month in London until October. Three chefs will conjure magical menus, with all profits going to Action Against Hunger, which fights child poverty. Kicking off proceedings will be Cherry Smart with a Cantonese menu on August 25 (chefs below); Roberto & Fabio will take over on September 16 with a Mediterranean affair; while a tantalising Indian feast will be on offer on October 28.

Minimum donation is between £30£45 and it’s BYO. See edibleexperiences.com

COLD BALLS, PLEASE Italian restaurant and bar Antico has added the homemade Campari gelato to it’s menu. But there’s a catch: diners will have to prove just how much they want it by whispering to a waiter: ‘Have you got cold balls?’

Come September, it’ll go on the menu at the venue near London Bridge. The concoction is made from the famous red Italian aperitif and is the brainchild of owner Nick Crispini and head chef Nicholas Schizas. Costs £4.50. antico-london.co.uk

FORBIDDEN TEMPLE BRITISH/ THAI THE SCENE This unassuming bar-cum-restaurant on the border of Clapham and Battersea stakes a claim to being both a night-time drinks spot and a provider of food. Lavish reds and oranges are the colour palette of choice, and bring a seductive vibe to the bar the further into its lair you go. Lounge among warm wall cushions and A Clockwork Orange-styled round egg-pod seats (which look cool, but are, unfortunately, a little uncomfortable).

THE GRUB British staples combine with a Thai influence on this bi-polar menu. To start, we opt for chicken satay sticks, which are a little dry and overdone, and the home-made Thai fishcakes – a crisp-but-creamy treat. Steaks sit alongside the likes of Thai red fish curry for mains – the former hearty, warming and reasonably sized (no meat slouching here), and the latter an enjoyably spicy dish. Beef burgers, cod and chips and veggie stir-frys round out the mains menu, making the Asian offerings a little sparse. The dessert line-up includes chocolate brownies (sickeningly indulgent in all the right ways), banana pancakes (just as much so) and banoffee tart.

There are all manner of beers, bottled and draught (Peroni, Aspalls), and a well-stocked choice of wines, catering for all tastes and budgets. Cocktails are also in abundance, with 38 jostling for attention. The Mai Tai’s a syrupy treat, the Mojito enlivening, and the Red Lotus a fruity vodka concoction par excellence. Our tip’s the Lynchberg Lemonade – a perfect summer evening sup.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £4.75; mains from £8.50; desserts £4.95. Beers from £3.70; wines from £3.50 a glass; shooters from £3; cocktails from £6.50. Two-for-one burgers on Tuesdays, and free desserts with mains on Wednesdays.

VERDICT The disparate menu is filling, but lacks personality, athough this looks to be rectified with the forthcoming introduction of more pan-Asian dishes. Good, because the lively decor and spirited cocktails demand food to match. ALASDAIR MORTON BEHIND THE BAR

30-32 Queenstown Road, SW8 3RX

forbiddentemple.co.uk

Clapham Common

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Cheer up. This is what you wanted For the London 2012 Olympics, there has been a lot of planning admittedly, Most of it’s been by Al Qaeda!

Sama Rain. Official weather supplier to the London 2012 Olympic Games.

Harvey The Olympic flame did not pass through Norwich ...

They didn’t want to risk the TorchBearer being tried for Witchcraft.

Allan Bolt: “You wouldn’t catch me in a Team GB kit.’ Or anything in fairness.

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Unfortunately, it’s Iran versus Saudi Arabia.

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CITY COLOUR Let’s hope the new Banksy Olympic pieces don’t get painted over, but if they do, let’s all remember that street art isn’t supposed to live forever. That’s part of what makes it so special.

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WICKED GAMES To me, the Olympics are kind of like a rich neighbourhood putting on a firework display, but charging all the poor neighbours for miles around (most out of range

of the display). Then, only spending a bit of the money on the actual display, the rest of the cash disappearing who knows where? Then, telling anyone who’s left struggling to feed their kids, to quit moaning and get behind the event: ‘So what if you only get to watch it on TV? Look at the huge gazebo we built in our garden!’

T Hawcroft, via Facebook

GUNS NO GOOD The US really needs to tighten its gun laws in the wake of the Batman massacre. This guy wasn’t a criminal. If he had had to purchase these things on the black market, he would at least get involved with other humans, and maybe killed some bad guys.

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LONDONSOUND

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Meatloaf’s age-reversal pills were working splendidly

festival

BOOMTOWN FAIR

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MELTDOWN MUSIC FEST Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX AUGUST 1-12 | DOORS AT VARIOUS TIMES | £20+

Self-styled as the UK’s ‘maddest city’, this countryside fest upends the usual out-of-the-city festival convention, becoming a pop-up town in rural Hampshire. Asian Dub Foundation (below), Capdown and Reel Big Fish will play the main stage, or ‘the town centre’ as it’s called, with a secret headliner yet to be unveiled.

There’s also a Lion’s Den stage, the Bassline Circus and the Bad Apple Bar, which resembles a high-street pub in a field. A one-of-akind experience.

Matterley Bowl, Winchester, Hampshire, SO24 0H. August 9-12. £116

Winchester

Some festivals this summer will chime with similar line-ups: Skrillex and Chase & Status tearing up the dance tents and The Stone Roses bringing their indie-rock guitar noodling to various assembled throngs. Others will shape their schedules by genre (jazz, for example) or by theme (see Wilton’s global approach, opposite page). This Southbank Centre event is another story altogether.

Each year, it’s shaped by one person who curates it along the lines of their own personal tastes; DJ legend the late John Peel, indie hip-shaker Jarvis Cocker, triphop innovators Massive Attack have all taken responsibility in the past. This year it’s the turn of Antony Hegarty, from the operatic, touchingly angelic pop troupe Antony And The Johnsons.

As Hegarty has eclectic tastes, this diverse 11-day festival takes on a truly unique flavour, featuring music skewed with performance art.

Eighties talisman Marc Almond, who’s shifted no fewer than 30 million albums across the world during his career, lines up with the likes of politically charged singer/ performer Diamanda Galas. Electronic music producer and performer Laurie Anderson brings her new show Dirtday! to town, and Lou Reed performs with his band, promising to feature anything and everything from Velvet Underground’s back catalogue to his Metallica collaboration, Lulu.

Hegarty himself will be taking to the stage, as well. So if you want to see, and hear, something different to the other fests out there, look no further.

boomtownfair.co.uk Waterloo

southbankcentre.co.uk

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NEW BAND

XAVIER RUDD GIG WED, AUG 8. 7PM £20

Multi-instrumentalist Rudd brings his impressive rootsy, surf-songs-with-a-conscience vibe to town. His kaleidoscopic musicianship throws down the gauntlet to acoustic- guitarstrumming singer/ songwriters happy with only the one instrument. He’s here in support of his seventh record, Spirit Bird.

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

SHAKE IT PRESENTS ...

LAYO AND BUSHWACKA

HORSEPOWER

CLUB

CLUB

FRI, AUG 3. 11PM-7AM £10+

FRI, AUG 3. 9PM-2AM £8

The duo bring one of their infamous back-toback sets to this bash, hitting the decks from sunset to sunrise in room one. It’s not as if they need any support, but room two hosts none other than Spain’s minimalist maestro Paco Osuna, with Leading Astray keeping the party going out on the terrace, too.

This new weekly night aims to snatch the cool crown back from the East End hipsters, delivering some of the best deep house, dubstep and techno around. Dixon Brothers are the new residents, with Noise Kitten bringing the indie, rock and northern soul to the venue’s southern gallery. Check it out.

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AP King’s Cross egglondon.net

Proud Camden Stables Market, NW1 8AH Chalk Farm proudcamden.com

LAST DINOSAURS THE BUZZ SO FAR This Brisbanebred four-piece have found success Down Under, recently completing support slots with the likes of Foals and We Are Scientists. Their leftfield indie-pop (think Friendly Fires meets Bombay Bicycle Club) is instantly catchy, belying its loftier lyrical themes about human nature and our existence. First single Time And Place features the chorus ‘’Nikola, we’re going to make a difference”, in reference to famed 17th-century inventor Nikola Tesla. Not your runof-the-mill music at all.

THE CRITICS SAY “Proof that indiepop doesn’t deserve to be driven to extinction.” The Guardian THE PLUG

Single Zoom is out July 30 and debut album In A Million

Photos: Getty

Years is out in October.

WILTON’S MUSIC HALL: GLOBAL BEATS

STANTON SESSIONS

CONVERSE REPRESENT FESTIVAL

GIG

CLUB

GIG

JULY 30-AUG 4. 7PM FREE

SAT, AUG 4. 10PM-6AM £11+

JULY 30-AUG 10. 7.30PM Free

Five days of music from around the world celebrating London’s cultural diversity. Moroccan Simo Lagnawi kicks things off, with Guinea’s Mosi Conde the following evening, then Peru’s Kanti Qena, Nigeria’s Baba Adesose Wallace, Brazil’s Pe De Jurema and Planetman And His Friends closing it out with a truly global show.

We Fear Silence and Stanton Warriors present this old- and new-school garage rave. Scene stalwart Brackles and legend Hostage head up the beats, with garage dons MJ Cole and Wookie on hand as retro-flavoured special guests. The Stanton Warriors themselves take centre stage to complete the line-up. Should be a good ‘un.

The baseball trainers that emos wear bring a star -studded line up to this 11-day series of gigs in Oxford Street’s dingy-but-iconic 100 Club (the one Paul McCartney helped save) to celebrate music and cultural diversity. Blur are the surprise headliners, along with Plan B, Paul Weller, Sbtrkt, Best Coast, Santigold and lots, lots more.

Wilton’s Music Hall 1 Graces Alley, E1 8JB Tower Gateway wiltons.org.uk

Cable 33 Bermondsey Street Tunnel, SE1 3JW London Bridge cable-london.com

100 Club 100 Oxford Circus, W1D 1LL Tottenham Court Road the100club.co.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 30 Cream Revue DJs and performers supply 1950s-style R‘n’B, swing, jive, rockabilly, classic jazz and Latin boogaloo. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727).

8.30pm-2am. £8, adv £6.

FRIDAY 3 Fizzy 7th Birthday DJs Klute, Loxy, Fabio, Eveson, Mr Joseph, Andy Skopes, Madcap, Izzy and PMX spin drum ‘n’ bass in room one, while Von D, Cluekid, Soul Sinners, Mind, Mediahack, Stark Sound and Dimensions mix dubstep in room two, plus MCs Fats, Moose, Illmatika, Blackeye, Deefa, Cliche and PM. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £10.

BOOK NOW!

Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin house, funk and R‘n’B . The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £7.

Funky W12 Club The resident DJs spin pop, disco, house and reggae at this club night for people with learning difficulties.

Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). 7.30pm-late. £5.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor and guests provide disco, dance, funky house, R‘n’B and reggae.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £2, NHS staff free.

The Jump Off DJ Manny Norte plays hip-hop, garage and R‘n’B, with hosts Rap 6 and Charlie Sloth. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 8pm-2am. £12, £10 before 9pm, adv £7.

Popcorn Adam Turner, Alan K, Jamie Hammond, Harvey Adam, Terry T-Rex and Zach Burns play dance, electro, R‘n’B , pop and hip-hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, alternative, rock and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040).

9pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm, £1 before 11pm, £3 before 1am.

TUESDAY 31 Havana Club Resident DJs supply Cuban beats, plus dance classes available with teachers Lazaro Lopez, Hugo Cortes and Gabriel Sainhas.

Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609).

7.30pm-1pm. £4, mems £3, classes & club £8, NUS £6.

The Iko’s New Orleans Music Shop DJ Lil’ Koko provides R‘n’B , funk and soul, plus a live performance from Kenny Clayton & Paul Ryan’s Lush Life Jazz. The Alley Cat, Denmark St, WC2H 8LP (020 7836 1451). 7.30pm-late. £4.

GROOVE ARMADA AT HYPERCOLOUR Suffolk Street Warehouse. Aug 11. £17.50 One of the world’s biggest dance groups celebrate 15 years in the business with this DJ set, along with Todd Edwards, Maxxi Soundsystem and more.

SE1 0NR

Southwark

WEDNESDAY 1 Aquila Resident DJs provide hip-hop, electro, dubstep and pop, plus live bands. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. Guestlist £8.

Cheapskates Resident DJs and guests supply indie, electro and old-school vibes.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3.30am. W/flyer £4.50.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Latin Zouk DJs Onda Amor and Mishka Zouk supply R‘n’B and Latin sounds, with zouk dance classes available. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 7pm-midnight. £8, classes & club £10, first timers free.

Not Another Presents Dubstep and hip-hop courtesy of DJs Emily Rawson and Bakery Boys, plus live performances from X Factor contestant Misha B and Purple Ferdinand.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 7pm-late. Adv £7.

Punk On Wednesday DJ Hugo Allon provides electronica and dance beats. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004). Phone for times. £5, free before 11pm.

The Last Lap Superstar DJ Paul Oakenfold spins house and trance.

Chinawhite, Winsley St, W1W 8HF (020 7291 1480). 9pm-3am. Adv £90.

Smile Resident DJs play funky house, club classics and pop.

Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977). 5pm-3am. £4, £3 before midnight.

Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/flyer free before 10.30pm.

What Ever Happened To P-Rock? Resident DJs spin punk, rock and metal, plus a live performance from Vinnie Caruana. The Macbeth, Hoxton St, N1 6LP (020 7749 0600). 7pm-late. £8.

Ramshackle The Postman, Andy Tokyo and Finnerz supply drum ‘n’ bass, indie, hip-hop, party and dubstep.

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). 10pm-3am. £5.

XXL Wednesdays DJs Christian M and Alex Logan play funky house in the main room, while Joe Egg spins retro in the Fluff Bar. Pulse, Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF (020 7403 9643). 9pm-3am. £3, mems free, annual m’ship £10.

22

hypercolour.co.uk

THURSDAY 2 Bad Sex Mayton DJs play indie, rock, pop and electro, plus live music. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £7, £5 before 10pm, guestlist NUS £5, NUS free before 10pm.

Detente Resident DJs spin jazz, soul and psychedelic music from the 1950s to the 1970s.

The Player, Broadwick St, W1F 8HN (020 7494 9125). 8pm-2am. £5, £3 before 10.30pm, free before 9pm.

Gravity DJs Alan K and Fat Tony spin electro, house and disco, with hosts Mauricio and Danny Boyce. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040).

2am-8am. £10, concs £5.

Nah Forget The Hill Rise Resident DJs mix dancehall, reggae and bashment. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482).

11pm-late. £5, free before midnight.

Radio The Radio DJs play 1980s pop, indie and disco.

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, free before 9pm.

Society John Brooks spins funky and uplifting house and dance anthems. Lo-Profile, Wardour St, W1F 0TQ (020 7734 3444). 10pm3am. £8, £5 before midnight.

Uprawr Resident DJs provide indie, pop, punk and hardcore.

Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). 10.30pm2.30am. £5, NUS £4, w/flyer £3.

Vinyl DJ Screwpulous spins pop hits from the last three decades.

Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 6pm-2am. £3, free before 10pm, mems £2.

Young And Lost Club Indie, pop and electronica courtesy of YALC DJs, plus live performances from Left Of Manila, Just Handshakes (We’re British), Suzie Stapleton and Drag Your Heels. The Lock Tavern, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AJ (020 7482 7163). 8pm-late. Free.

Jungle Splash Presents Jungle dub, old school, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass courtesy of The Ragga Twins, Jumpin Jack Frost, Brockie, Nicky Black Market, DJ Ron, Uncle Dugs, Terry T and Potential Bad Boy. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-6am. £12.

KDMS Album Launch Party Alexis Taylor and Little Boots provide electro, disco and indie, plus live performances from KDMS, Willy Moon and Loverproof. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). 9pm-4am. Adv £7.

Shake It DJs Layo & Bushwacka!, Paco Osuna, Elek-Fun, L Tete, Adam Bloy and Luis Pedregosa spin house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm8am. £20, NUS/mems £15, adv £12.

Sin City Stevie C, Riyad, Tony Madball and Demonic play contemporary rock and metal in the main room, while Shuff and Vixen spin classic rock and metal in room two. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). 10.30pm3.30am. £7, NUS/mems £5 before 11.30pm, w/flyer £5 before midnight.

Tiki Friday Mr Lewis spins Latin funk, tropical and AfricanCaribbean music. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-midnight. Free.

The Upfront Project Appleblim, 2562, Darling Farah, Youandewan, DjRUM, Guy Andrews, Tessela and South London Ordnance supply dubstep, techno and electronica. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. Adv £8.

SATURDAY 4 Cohesion August Edition DJs Twina, Djane Deeh, Djane Sati, Thallom, Neutron and Oontz mix psychedelic trance, plus a live performance from Champa.

Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-8am. £10, free before midnight.

Eastern Electrics Festival Four tents of house, techno and electronica, featuring Azari & III, Jamie Jones, Damian Lazarus, Maceo Plex, Amirali live, Geddes, Andrew Weatherall, Crazy P, 2020 Soundsystem, Huxley, Greg Wilson, Danny Raper, Kerri Chandler, MK, Julio Bashmore, Joy Orbison and Bicep. Area 12, Greenwich Peninsula, between West parkside and Millennium Way, SE10 0BE (0871 220 0260). 11am-10pm. £40 & £45, concs £30 & £35, VIP £75.

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Eastern Electrics Festival: Eastern Electrics Azari And III, Jamie Jones, Damian Lazarus, Maceo Plex, Amirali, Geddes and guests supply house and electro at this afterparty event. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260).

10pm-6am. £25, adv £17.50 & £20.

Funk Farm Funkagenda, Sander Van Doorn, Jordy Dazz and guests supply house, techno and electronica. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010).

11pm-7am. £18, mems £15. ibringtunes Presents DJs GT, Ziaflow, Ray Gallea and Ehirro spin house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-midnight. Free Just Beats Afterparty DJs Micah Fish, Aaron J, Scholar Tee, Ore and Sesame Pressue provide hip-hop and R‘n’B .

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 11pm-late. £8.

Prism Dynamics Launch Party DJs Michelle Cade, Plastic Pippo Ceretti, Michelle Cade, Samantha Blackburn and Simone Gatt spin house and techno. Nomad, Old St, EC1V 9AJ (020 7253 4443).

9pm-4am. £5, free before midnight.

Pure Temptation: The Eros Reunion DJs EZ, Luck, Sparks, Kie, Wesley Jay and Supplier spin garage and old school, with a live performance from Treble & Remedy, plus MCs B and Neat.

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0844 477 1000).

9pm-6am. Adv £9.95.

SUNDAY 5 Horse Meat Disco Residents Jim Stanton, Luke Howard, James Hillard and Severino spin disco and house on rotation.

Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 8pm-3am. £6.

Later D’Johnny, Paul Martin, The Oli, The Sharp Boys and Jamie Head spin house.

Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 11.30am-8pm. £6, w/flyer £5 before 1.30pm.

Playback Re:loaded Atjazz, Marcia Carr, Johnny Reckless and Trevor C provide funk, Afrobeat, deep house and reggae. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

8.30pm-2am. £7, adv £5.

Summer All Dayer DJs Billy Daniel Bunter, Uncle Dugs, Brockie, Slipmatt, Jumping Jack Frost, Ruff Stuff, 2 Bad Mice, Phantasy, Jinx, Chase, Jamie G, Bubbler, Jono D, Kid Jay, Hatcha, The Heatwave, Digital Nya Binghi, Funky Flirt and Vibes spin drum ‘n’ bass, jungle, old school, hip-hop, soul and funk, plus MCs Creed, CKP, 5ive0 and The Ragga Twins.

Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537).

2pm-10pm. Adv £12.

Sunday Sessions Plump DJs spin breaks, house and electro.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 3pm-11pm. Free.

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READING FESTIVAL TICKETS We have a pair of guest tickets to give away for the world famous Reading Festival, which takes place on August 24-26, 2012 at Little John’s Farm in Reading.

Featuring the biggest and best names in music, and the hottest upand-coming artists, it is the only place to spend the bank holiday weekend.

The Cure, Kasabian and Foo Fighters headline this year, with other names such as Florence and the Machine, The Black Keys, Paramore, Justice, At The Drive In, The Maccabees, The View, Less Than Jake, Gaslight Anthem and countless others entertaining

thousands of fans. The Alternative Stage also has some of the funniest comedians, such as Reginald D Hunter, Lee Nelson, Jason Byrne and Stephen K Amos keeping the crowd giggling to the wee hours.

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MONDAY 30 Marjolaine Charbin, Ute Kanngiesser, Ross Lambert, Ed Lucas, Sue Lynch And James O’Sullivan Improvised experimental music from the band.Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £5, concs £4.

Exhibition Road Show 2012 A celebration of music, art, science, literature and acrobatics featuring performances from Chris Difford, Eliza Carthy, Josephine Oniyama, Dave Swarbrick, Jason Singh, Patrick Wolf, Iain Sinclair, Leo Abrahams & Leafcutter John and The Exhibitionists. Exhibition Rd, SW7 2DD. Free. Until Aug 5, see www. exhibitionroadshow.co.uk for details.

Ruthie Foster The American singer-songwriter performs blues, folk and gospel blues. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £11.

Kelly Pepper, Pro Dot, The Red Queens, Virgin To The Sun, Lolita London-based pop singer-songwriter. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £6, concs £4.50.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Mutabaruka Live And The Lloyd Parks Band Reggae from the Jamaican dub poet and the band. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£45.

Eddie Vedder The American singer-songwriter and frontman of Pearl Jam plays rock. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £37-£50. Also Tue. Wiley Grime and hip-hop from the London-based MC and producer. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). Adv £10.

TUESDAY 31 London Irish Village 2012: Frankie Gavin & De Dannan, The Fureys The musician leads his Irish folk outfit.

Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £23.

Bitty McLean Reggae and pop by the Birmingham-born singer-songwriter. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £20.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: John Holt, Mighty Diamonds, Leroy Heptones Sibbles Veteran reggae singer from Kingston, Jamaica. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.

Rust, Monkish, Maximum RnR, The Derita Sisters The Australian band plays hardcore punk. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £5, w/flyer £4.

Laura Vane & The Vipertones Pop-funk by the Anglo-Dutch band. Floridita, Wardour St, W1F 0TN (020 7314 4042). £10.

Diana Vickers The smokey vocalist and 2008 X Factor finalist performs pop. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

FRIDAY 3 Antony’s Meltdown: Laurie Anderson The experimental music and art rock musician performs her piece Dirtday! Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £15-£30, concs £7.50-£15.

BOOK NOW!

Antony’s Meltdown: Joan As Police Woman, Julia Kent, Matteah Baim American singersongwriter Joan Wasser performs indie-rock. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £12.50 & £17.50, concs £6.25 & £8.75.

THE XX Shepherd’s Bush Empire. Sept 10. £TBC The return of the black-clad, atmosphere-generating electro-indie-sters in the run-up to the release of their hotly anticipated second LP, Coexist .

W12 8TT

She Bu

o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

Brett Winterford, Emma Jane, Renny Field, David Grout Indie-folk singer-songwriter from Australia. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £6.

WEDNESDAY 1 Antony’s Meltdown: Diamanda Galas The experimental singer, writer and artist performs intense, operatic, avantgarde works rooted in blues.

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £22.50 & £30, concs £11.25 & £15.

Antony’s Meltdown: Planningtorock, Light Asylum Electronica from Boltonborn musician and singer Janine Rostron. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £10 & £15, concs £5 & £7.50.

Boysetsfire, Off With Their Heads Post-hardcore by the band from Pennsylvania. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.50.

The Buzztones Classic rock and psychedelic band from Blacksburg, Virginia. The Bedford, Bedford Hill, SW12 9HD (020 8682 8940). £5.

Charli XCX The London-based singer-songwriter performs electro-pop. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £9.

Tom Paley The veteran singersongwriter from New York performs traditional folk. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £10.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Freddie McGregor, Marcia Griffiths, Maxi Priest, Johnny Osbourne The Jamaican singer performs reggae, ska and rocksteady. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.

Snuff, Victims Of Circumstance, The Human Project The Londonbased combo performs its blend of classic punk. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

THURSDAY 2 Bardo Pond, Rumour Cubes The American band plays psychedelic space rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £10.

The Bendal Interlude, XII Boar, Gurt Stoner and thrash metal by the Liverpool-based band.

Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). £5.

Fin, Bwani Junction Indie-rock from the London-based band.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £6.

Aziz Ibrahim The Manchesterborn singer and musician plays psychedelic rock and Asian blues. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). Adv £10.

Mr Hello And His Honesty Club, Harry Houseago, The Sloanes, Will Miles Post-punk group from the South West of England.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £4.

Mica Paris R‘n’B and soul from the London-based singer-songwriter.

The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £25.

Finley Quaye, The Crooked Empire, The Final Few, The Mercenaries The reggae and rock singer from Edinburgh performs his hits. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). £16, adv £14.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Toots And The Maytals, Junior Toots, Chantelle Ernandez Classic reggae and ska by the veteran Jamaican band. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £30-£50.

Scenic Life, Welcome Pariah, The Silver Factory, Desert Ships Indie from the band.

Fiddler’s Elbow, Malden Rd, NW5 3HS (020 7485 3269). £5.

Soul Trigger, Big Hat, Los Pelos Rizos, Pasco Tom The London-based band plays funk-rock and reggae. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

Melic, Howe, Jamie Martyr, Lupus Nensen Progressive indie-rock from the London-based band. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

James Spankie Alternative and experimental pop by the London-based singer-songwriter.

The Sebright Arms, Coate St, E2 9AG (020 7729 0937). £7, adv £5.

Mozez Soul by London-based singer-songwriter Osmond Wright. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £8.

Alejandro Toledo & The Magic Tombolinos, Wille And The Bandits, The Cracked, Fyah Sound Lively, uplifting world roots music from the Londonbased outfit. Hootananny, Effra Rd, SW2 1DF (020 7737 7273). £3, free before 11pm.

Ty Segall Indie-rock singersongwriter from California.

The Dome, Dartmouth Park Hill, N19 5QQ (020 7272 8153). £8.

The Velvetines, Wolfkang, Stingin’ Nettles London-based rock band with touches of pop.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £7, adv £5.

We The Committee, Kid Capola, The Lone Groover, Thomas Jackson Melodic indierock from the London-based group. New Cross Inn, New Cross Rd, SE14 6AS (020 8692 1866). £3.

E-Mute, The Dissidents, The Floor Below, Blind Penny Alt electronic rock from the London-based band.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £8, adv £6.

Fat Freddy’s Drop Ska band from Wellington, New Zealand.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £29.50.

Guardians Of Dust Alt and prog rock by the London-based band. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). Adv £8.

Le KKC Orchestra, Swing Patrol The French band mixes electro swing and hip-hop. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706). £12, adv £10.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Horace Andy, Johnny Clarke, Michael Prophet Roots-reggae from the Jamaican singer and occasional Massive Attack collaborator. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£45.

Shai Hulud, Reign Supreme Hardcore punk band from Florida.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.

Shakka, Rio Young, Marvin, Nita Pop by the London-based singer. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). Adv £8.

Watsky Hip-hop by the Los Angeles-based rapper. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). Adv £10.

London Irish Village 2012: The Saw Doctors The Irish quintet plays upbeat folk-rock. Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £20-£40. Also Fri

Old Man Luedecke Folk-rock by the singer-songwriter Chris Luedecke, of Chester, Nova Scotia.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £10.

Empire Affair, Petit Mort, Kypie Pop-rock from the Bournemouth-based band.

Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £7, concs £5.

SUNDAY 5

Volcanoes, The Kubricks, Steve Puddle & The Bivouac Band, Charlie’s Uniform Indie-rock by the Sheffield-based band.

Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £7, concs £5.

SATURDAY 4 Matteah Baim The Milwaukeeborn guitarist and singer plays experimental rock.

Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £10, adv £8.

Dignan Porch, Virginia Wing, Flash Bang Band, Spiritwo Alt rock by the London-based outfit. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191). £6, adv £5.

John Wort Hannam, Joe Innes & The Cavalcade, Blue Rose Code Folk and Americana by the singer-songwriter from Fort Macleod, Alberta. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £6.

The McTells, Cee Bee Beaumont, The Fenestration Hertfordshire-based indie band. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £5.

Please The Trees, Ali Warren Band, Crows, Renny Jackson, Yuri Indierock band from Prague and Tabor.

The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £4.

Respect Jamaica 50 Festival: Morgan Heritage, Shaggy, Raging Fyah Brooklyn-based reggae collective featuring the children of veteran singer Denroy Morgan.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£50.

Stormborn, No Closure, Vivid Nation, Caged, Disarm Goliath Heavy metal by the London-based band.

Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Hattie Whitehead Band The singer-songwriter leads her soul and folk combo. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £8.

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Richard Sandling The film fan and comedian on his favourite movie, why Sir Ridley Scott sucks, and cephalopods INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Where did Perfect Movie come from?

I took the advice “talk about what you know” literally. I had previously done shows about my love of VHS and was looking for a night that was different, so I decided on Perfect Movie, a standup comedy show about films that has become a multimedia event with games, sketches, trailers, interviews and movie recreations.

What’s your favourite movie scene?

The David Bowie bit from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. The whole film is incredibly flawed, but that four minutes is amazing. It’s baffling and unnerving, funny and preposterous, too!

What film have you best reviewed?

A big part of the show is talking to audiences to find out what their favourite movies are and, according to my audiences, the most popular film is Back To The Future. I’ve have never met anyone who didn’t like it.

Which classic do you disagree with?

Mostly anything Ridley Scott has directed apart from Alien. I find his work a bit boring.

Which film’s not given its due praise?

I really like Alien 3. It’s a brilliant movie, full of tension, visual flair, great characters, great horror.

And it’s full of brilliant British actors. I don’t understand why everyone hates it so much.

Are you an advocate of 3D movies?

It’s just an excuse to charge me £4 extra to wear glasses that give me a headache. It does go too far, there is talk about making the 3rd US Ring film in 3D – she’s already actually come out the telly, what more do you expect? Disliking 3D is not the same as not wanting colour film or talkies, because that was evolution and progression, not an ill-conceived attempt to stop people downloading films.

Jonathan Ross or Mark Kermode – which critic speaks to you more?

I am a huge fan of Jonathan Ross. I have no issues with Kermode, but Ross is a genuine enthusiast of the weird, wonderful and cultish.

Very few people would ever get a TV show and devote a whole episode to [cult filmmaker] Fred Olen Ray, but he did that.

‘If you don’t like Alien 3 please stand up’

Did you ever harbour ambitions to be involved in the movie business?

Of course. I think everyone that loves film would like to make them. Maybe one day ...

What was your first stand-up show?

It was at The Holyrood Tavern, Edinburgh, 2005.

Just five minutes, and it went well, but I was so nervous beforehand, the whole thing is a blur. It wasn’t awful, but I didn’t do stand-up again for 14 months, so it can’t have been life-changing.

Other than movies, what else features in your comedy?

I talk about the reality of being considered geeky, being from Essex and racism.

Who is your screen idol?

Jason Statham. The greatest actor currently working in motion pictures, and I’m not being ironic. The man is awesome. He’s his own genre.

What was the last film you saw?

The overly long The Dark Knight Rises. It is the most violent screen version of Wind In The Willows you’ll ever see.

Does the British film industry’s cul-desac output frustrate you?

There are a lot of exciting movies being made in the UK at the moment that don’t feature housing

estate junkies, gangsters or bonnets, so it is exciting to see newer talent moving away from stuff to sell to America and instead making films that are relevant to the UK. It’s always hard to get a flick made, sold and then seen, so it’s an uphill struggle for everyone. Hopefully, audiences will support low-budget British films and the monopoly of unrealistic middle-class romances, mockney nonsense and bland historical epics can start to come to an end.

Is it ever cool to be a movie geek?

Yes, as long as you keep the blogger mentality under control and understand it’s all about love and while debate is healthy, sometimes it’s best to hold back, let things sink in and evaluate in private within your own mind. The quickest, loudest or most obnoxious opinion isn’t by default the correct one. Remember: there is actually nothing wrong with someone disagreeing with you and neither of you have to be dicks about it.

Apart from movies, what are your other passions?

Comics, real ale, [Thirties fictional detective] Nero Wolfe, the Cold War, cephalopods and Forteana.

Richard Sandling’s Perfect Movie. Aug 1. 7pm. £10.

Leicester Square Theatre WC2H 7BX leicestersquaretheatre.com Leicester Square

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The Dark Knight finally faces his match

THE FLOWERS OF WAR FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Christian Bale, Ni Ni, Xinyi Zhang | 15 | 145mins | out August 3

TED FILM STARRING: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis | 15 | 106mins

Family Guy’s Seth MacFarlane makes his feature-film debut with this comedy, in which Mark Wahlberg’s childhood wish for his teddy bear to come to life comes true – only for ‘Ted’ to become a sleezy slacker that holds him back and jeopardises his relationship with Mila Kunis. It’s a Judd Apatow-alike bromcom, but expect the smut and gross-out gags to be dialled up here.

On general release August 1

28

Christian Bale stars in this China-US co-production, the largest film undertaken in China, to the tune of $90m. A war-torn epic set in 1937 Nanking as the Japanese invade, it is spectactular and harrowing, combining visceral set pieces with carefully drawn characterisation.

Bale is John Miller, a mortician who has the misfortune of being in town to take care of the funeral of a deceased Catholic priest just as Japanese forces invade the city. He takes refuge in a church (Westerners enjoy dispensation from the savage onslaught), along with a group of schoolgirls and a harem of prostitutes, where he is forced to put his boozy, self-serving ways behind him to save the girls and preserve some modicum of humanity amidst the surrounding barbarity.

As you’d expect from an Oscar winner, Bale is superb, giving a nuanced performance, revealing subtle layers as the film progresses, with Ni Ni, making her feature debut as the leader of the red-light district’s finest, a woman who has seen too much in her youthful years. Director Zhang Yimou, a respected pillar of Chinese cinema, delivers action that matches Spielberg’s Private Ryan (a single Chinese soldier’s stand-off with 20-strong opposition’s a pulse-quickening high).

He doesn’t turn away from the grizzlier moments, either, the sporadic violence conveying the imminent threat to all in this dark period of human history. Yet it is the subtle, solemn passages that affect most, as moments of humanity are found buried beneath mankind at its most brutal. An intimate epic.

GOOD FOR: A history lesson with action beats and involving characters portraits

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GIVE US A

THE COMEDY STORE

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Legendary comedy venue, which counts among its line-up this evening MC Rufus Hound, GPturned clown with the ‘shit neck’ Paul Sinha (right), former Joke of the Fringe winner Zoe Lyons, self-confessed pessimist Mike Gunn, and topical teaser Paul Thorne. Splitting of the sides is absolutely guaranteed.

Ha ha!

Comedy Store SW1Y 4EE. Aug 3. 7.30pm & 11pm. £20/ £15 Leicester Square thecomedystore.co.uk

HENDRIX: HEAR MY TRAIN A COMIN’

1936

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

This new exhibition marks Jimi’s 70th birthday and looks at his nine-month, star-making period in London (including his last show in June ‘67 at which Beatles McCartney and Starr were in attendance). It features more than 100 artefacts, including records, letters, photos and clothing, such as his famed Westerner hat.

During a pedestrian 80 minutes, Tom McNab introduces us to those involved in the run-up to the 1936 Olympics, as Hitler is persuaded the Games could become an Aryan propaganda exercise and American official Avery Brundage reneges on a US team boycott promise. The info’s here, but the dissemination prosaic. LK

Hospital Club WC2H 9HQ. Until Aug 31. Free Covent Garden thehospitalclub.com

Sadler’s Wells Lilian Baylis Studio, EC1R 4TN. Until Aug 5. £25 Angel sadlerswells.com

MICHELLE DE SWARTE What’s Unbalanced about? It’s about being bilingual, bisexual, biracial and basically by myself.

What is the strangest show your have ever done? A gig in Hazelmere at a state fair, where everyone was sat on bales of hay, mainly children. There’s nothing like talking about muff-diving to a tent full of 12-year-olds.

Photos: Simon Annand

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen this week? I was out in Essex when a bouncer stopped me and said he knew me from somewhere.

After a long back and forth, I suggested it might be from TV as I’d just done Chris Moyles’ Comedy Empire. He cut me back down to size by saying, ‘No, did you work in Sega World at the Trocadero in the Nineties?’ Haven’t lived it down since.

SOUND OF MY VOICE

PLAY WITHOUT WORDS

FILM

THEATRE

Peter and Lorna, a couple and documentarymaking duo, set out to investigate a strange cult led by the enigmatic Maggie (Brit Marling, last year’s excellent Another Earth) who claims to be from the future. It’s a superb premise, combining indie-flick characterisation with a distinctive thriller flavour, and observations of the danger inherent in group mentality.

Ten years after its premiere, Matthew Bourne’s sultry dance drama is as ambiguous as ever.

Inspired by Joseph Losey’s 1963 film noir, The Servant, it’s a wordless evocation of the period played out against Terry Davies’ atmospheric, jazz-based score. A witty, sinister account of swinging Sixties’ role reversal. LK

On general release Aug 3

Sadler’s Wells Roseberry Avenue, EC1R 4TN. Until Aug 5. £12+ Angel sadlerswells.com

Best thing about being a standup? Oh, the private jets and working with really hot, mentally stable men every night.

ROFL & LOL, The Finsbury. Aug 1. Free. 8pm N4 1BY Manor House ROFLandLOL/facebook.com Unbalanced, Belushi’s. Aug 4-25. Free.

Edinburgh 4.50pm EH1 1DE edfringe.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Don’t bullshit a bullshitter: Little’s out to set the record straight

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27/7/12 12:10:34

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A Little bit of honesty Australian Mark Little makes a return to the stand-up stage with a show that considers today, tomomorrow and all our futures WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

“I have always been an Aussie-Euro-Brit. Australia is where I come from, but I have a good sense of humour – you have to be able to have the piss taken out of you here,” Mark Little says. He’s been on this little island for more than 20 years, plying his trade as a comedian and actor, but returns to the stand-up circuit this summer after a 10-year absence, showcasing a new gig of political and social observations and suggestions. Little’s back where he belongs, doing what he started out doing, and, frankly, what he does best.

The Bullshit Artist is created by and for these times, a oneman performance shot through with sardonic observations, optimistic proclamations and a sense of the global. It’s brought on by the times in which we live, Little says.

“There was a new government, the coalition, the Occupy movement, police kettling, all of that,” he explains. “There was a groundswell of movement and I thought: ‘This is great, there is a new audience for my stuff.’ In the show, we look at generations and at how each one is affected, and how they differ.

“And then, I give this directive: ‘Hands up the smart people in the room.’ You get one or two people who put their hands up, because dumbing down has worked. But, by the end of the show, it turns out that people aren’t as dumb as they think they are. The reason the world is in a mess is because the smart people aren’t putting their hands up.”

If this politically and socially motivated spiel sounds surprising, it shouldn’t. For those of a certain generation, Little might still be Joe Mangel, the loveable loser he played on Neighbours (“It was like a Frankenstein’s monster, it fucked everything up, people only wanted to hear about Kylie and Bouncer, they didn’t want to hear about what I had to say…”), but the 52-year-old started out on the comedy circuit 33 years ago in Melbourne. Even then, he found himself blackballed for his political routines.

After arriving in the UK in 1992, disenfranchised with the comedy scene in his native land and keen to find fresh ground and audiences on his wavelength, Little made a name for himself in the ensuing decade with shows that combined his wit, intelligence, questioning, and passion for stand-up.

“I performed all through the Eighties in the pubs and clubs doing the comedy that I do now,” he recalls of his embryonic years. “It was hard work, and it got to the point

in 1990 when I’d had enough. I was sick of it and of the drunk audiences. I wanted to put my comedy in a theatrical environment, so I brought it over here and they loved it.

Then I moved to the UK and did this throughout the Nineties, going to Edinburgh every two years with a new show.”

He visited Scotland’s culture capital six times, covering

“

I’m looking for some sort of human truth

”

a variety of themes, topics and styles, including 1999’s critical and commercial knock out Spontaneous Human Combustion.

“It was all about the era of Quentin Tarantino, Prozac, and handguns,” he recalls. “All those shows were a little epoch of what was going on at the time.”

Times changed, though, with Blair and New Labour coming to power, 9/11 shaking the world, with Britain and ››

Caveman: Little’s 1999 West End debut won him an Olivier Award TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise from above: Little in Caveman; as Australian performance artist Leigh Bowery in Taboo; posing Kraftwerk-style.

32

guard to thrive. “All the old-schoolers are coming back out of the woodwork after the Blair and Brand era, and they are finding a new audience, too – the old school has something to say to the new school,” he says.

Dismissing some of today’s youth as ‘the Twits’, brought

“

It became a time of vacuous comedy

”

up on a diet of Facebook and Twitter and social- and minddistractions, it is clear he is not totally enamoured with this generation, nor his own, instead seeing people as those that think and those that don’t.

At the end of the day, The Bullshit Artist is still here to make people laugh as well, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem. “I know I’m still the funniest bastard out there,” he roars. ”You’d be a fool to disagree, but there’s no doubt Little would relish the argument – and the fact you’re thinking for yourself. ❚ The Bullshit Artist, Assembly George Square, Edinburgh. Aug 1-27. £15 edfringe.com. Then nationwide this autumn. The Bloomsbury Theatre. Nov 10. £16 thebloomsbury.com

Photos: Getty

Australia finding themselves knee-deep in a Middle Eastern conflict that essentially divided the nations’ populations.

“It became difficult to do political comedy. We were a country at war so it was not the best time for antigovernment sentiment, but it also became a time of very vacuous comedy, too,” he says.

“I call it the Russell Brand era: popular observation stuff – ‘my toaster, my girlfriend’, really bubble-headed stuff. My style of comedy was hard to place so I had [gender politicsbased one-man production] Defending The Caveman, which was a simple piece of human politics that people loved.”

Reinvigorated by the changing times, culturally and politically, Little now takes to the stage minus any of the theatrical distractions of previous years – it’s just one man, one mic and one mouth. Movie roles and TV appearances have formed a steady supplemental diet for years – Little had a bit part in Mel Smith’s lawn bowls comedy Blackball in 2003, and is a regular on The Wright Stuff, Channel 5’s weekday morning current affairs debate show, the live aspect forcing him to keep his wits sharp.

But it is his passion to re-engage both with the people and the fire that fuelled his career decisions in the first place that is most noticeable. “In the old days, we didn’t want to put things right, we wanted to tear it all down,” he says, his punk urgency now emboldened by a wisdom that comes with age, but untempered by this same passing of time.

Rather, Little sees 2012 and beyond as a time for the old TNTMAGAZINE.COM

FINAL 1509 Little focus.indd 32

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SPARETIME

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Blur: Blur 21 – The Box

@tntmagazine

Risen 2: Dark Waters PS3

Third-person RPG with a pirate theme where every decision shapes the game. £54.99 play.com

CD

The returned Brit-poppers collect all their albums, along with a host of live demos and rarities. £134.99 play.com

Hyper Fighters Wii

Hed Kandi: World Series USA

Furious shoot-’em-up with fourteen boss-laden levels. £12.99 tesco.com

CD

Top disco-house tune-age with a US flavour from the ever reliable ‘Kandi krew’. £11.99 amazon.com

Magnet Moo Lite Samsung app

Play as a cow that’s eaten a magnet and wound up in platforming peril. Yes, really!

Free samsungapps.com

Michael A Johnson: A 1980s Childhood Book

A look back through the decade of shellsuits, Rubick’s cubes and DeLoreans.

Nostalgia-tastic. £9.99 amazon.com

Great British Chefs iPhone

This summertime app has recipes for the warm season. £1.99 greatbritishchefs.com/ the-app

June Thomson: Holmes And Watson Book

Arcadie

This fictional biography looks at the finest bromance there is in period detective fiction. £7.99 play.com

Gadget

Retro arcade machines are cool, smartphone gaming is not – this turns your iphone into a joystick dream. £14.99 play.com

Salute DVD

The Mexico Olympics’ Black Power salute, and Australian Peter Norman’s role in it, forms the basis of this doco. £8.00 amazon.com

Man Apron Gadget

A utility belt, a detachable hood and more for the al fresco BBQ kings out there. £14.99 amazon.co.uk

Mirror Mirror DVD

Julia Roberts stars as the evil stepmother in this postmodern spin on Snow White. £12.99 play.com

34

App of the Week Food spotting Blackberry app

Titillation for the foodies out there, this is a social network for grub-hounds, with photos, advice, reviews and more. Yum! Free appworld.blackberry.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

FINAL 1509 Spare Time.indd 34

27/7/12 13:14:32

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Alpinestars T-shirt If you like your bling a little more understated, this tee adds just a touch of colour.

Mustard trousers Prove your masculinity is firmly intact with these traffic-stopping trousers.

Little gold dress Feel like a winner in this cute number and bag your prize at the end of the night.

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SHOPWATCH OPENING CEREMONY

How it got around the powersthat-be to launch during the Olympics is beyond us. But that’s exactly what Opening Ceremony (a shop, not the event) has done.

The American fashion brand has set up a temporary home in Covent Garden, and will be moving two doors down to its permanent home in October. It’s been running since 2002, but this is its first European base.

Split over two levels, it stocks a colourfully diverse range. Expect to find exclusive 2012 Olympicthemed ready-to-wear items and accessories, as well as Barton Perreira sunglasses in gold, silver or bronze, animal-print ponyskin Keds and Opening Ceremony own-label cat sweaters. And it’s decent if you’re on a budget, with items starting at just £2, but going up to a whopping £2000.

Go and check out what’s on offer before the suits at Locog catch on to them.

OPEN Until October 15 openingceremony.us 31-32 King Street, WC2E 8JD Leicester Square

Going for gold

Crystal studs 0 Wear these glittery £11.0 earrings for a subtle nod to the Games.

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Adidas Gold Tee Trendy tank top design by Stella McCartney. Nice. london2012.com/shopS

Wrap-around bracelet Coil this jewellery around your wrist to dress up jeans and add a touch of class.

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Star Player High Tops Slip on these white Converse, complete with metallic, go-faster stripes. brandalley.co.uk

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

BOOTY CALL

This two-hour intensive workout will see you shaking your butt, celebrity-style. Leave your inhibitions at the door as you get down to powerhouses Lady Gaga and Beyoncé belting out top hits, such as Single Ladies, Runs The World and Poker Face. While you’re body-popping, shaking those hips, and isolating, you’ll also be learning basic dance steps, turns and posture. It’s definitely way more fun than slaving your night away at the gym. The classes run just over an hour a week for six or eight weeks, or you can opt for the Beyoncé Diva Workshop for a twohour intensive workout. Everyone is welcome to come join in this ‘urban ballet’, from a Lady Gaga backup dancer to someone who more resembles a stumbling giraffe on the dancefloor. Class times are designed to work around busy work schedules, so there are no excuses.

The workshop costs £20 for the two-hour intensive class. Full class prices are £82.50-£99 for six weeks.

So grab a fellow diva-wannabe and in the words of Beyoncé herself: “Put your hands up!”

Various sites city-academy.com/streetclasses

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1hr workouts You don’t need to get up early or give up your evenings to get fit. Just use your lunchbreak WORDS CAROL DRIVER

How many times have you set your alarm for 6am, determined to get up before work and go for a run, but hit snooze as soon as you’ve opened your eyes? It’s a mission just to wake up early, let alone squeeze in a manic day at the office after getting all sweaty. And the resolution of going for an evening workout quickly falters, as soon as you start missing beer nights with mates.

But there is an alternative. Instead of sitting at your desk during that precious onehour lunchbreak, go out and do something less boring instead. Here are our top five, one-hour workouts.

1 The DIY workout WHAT: This only works if your office has showers you’re prepared to use. Bring your exercise gear (make sure you’ve got decent trainers) to work, then log on to Walk Run Jog and plot a route according to your ability – decide how far you want to go and how difficult you want it to be. Even a 3mph, onemile walk will burn about 85 calories. When you work up to a run, you’ll see the benefits – weight loss, improved sleep, stronger

immune system and increased happiness – and that’s just for starters.

HOW MUCH? Free.

SEE: walkrunjob.net

2 Get your groove on WHAT: Can’t wait for the weekend to start?

Now you don’t have to. Burn about 200 calories an hour, instead of stuffing your face, at this lunchtime disco. Held by the funky Drink Shop Do, expect some top-class DJs playing a mix of “always dance-worthy” party music. It’s held every month – in a former sex shop – and you can BYOS (bring your own sandwich).

HOW MUCH? £3 in advance, £4 on the door.

WHEN & WHERE? Last Friday of each month, 12pm-3pm. Caledonian Road, N1 9DX. SEE: drinkshopdo.com

3 Military Fitness WHAT: Now there’s a glimpse of sunshine, this doesn’t seem so much like hell. So if you relish the prospect of being barked at during your lunchbreak, this is for you. You’ll be put through your paces by a no-holds-barred

Calm before storm: British Military Fitness 36

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

FINAL 1509 Health.indd 36

27/7/12 13:35:49

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Work it: make the most of lunch

WINNING DESIGNS

Gilt’y eyeshadow Eye up the prize with this bling shade £12.99 myfacecosmetics.co.uk

instructor. All classes are outdoors and you’ll be part of a team, meaning there’ll be others to spur you on, should you lose your resolve.

Expect high-energy workouts.

HOW MUCH? First class is free, then membership options vary according to location and number of sessions per week.

WHEN & WHERE: City of London, Tuesdays 12.30pm; Canary Wharf, Wednesday 1pm.

SEE: britmilfit.com

4 The gym – Xtreme workout WHAT: Going to the gym doesn’t always have to mean pounding on the treadmill.

This 50-minute Xtreme workout assault will push you to your limits, with intense, short bursts of exercise – “double the fitness in half the time”, as the official burb says.

HOW MUCH? Bag a £30 a week membership over the summer.

WHEN & WHERE? Canary Wharf, E14 5ER.

Wednesdays in August 12.05pm-12.50pm.

SEE: reebokclub.co.uk

5 Empowering Yoga WHAT: If you’re a bit of a stresshead, this 50-minute (12pm-12.50pm) exercise class will mean you’ll return to your desk calmer and more composed. You’ll start with a warm up, then stretch yourself into dynamic poses which aim to build strength, improve flexibility and tone the body. This class fuses hatha and vinyasa yoga.

HOW MUCH? £64 for eight classes, or £12 per session .

WHEN & WHERE: Tues: Little Albany St, Regent’s Park, NW1 4DY. NEXT WEEK Thurs: Northwood, HA6 3AA. Sending Father’s Day gifts to Aus SEE: empowering yoga.co.uk

Paco Rabanna Lady Million Kick up a winning whiff £29.99 theperfumeshop.com

Baylis & Harding Shampoo with Argan Oil ‘liquid gold’ £6.00 baylisandharding.com

Photos: Thinkstock

TOP TREATMENT: GOLD FACIAL Cleopatra is said to have slept in a gold mask every night, as the soft metal is supposed to be easily absorbed into the face, leaving you a noticable younger-looking skin. Unleash your inner goddess and enjoy the rejuvenating effects with a 24-carat facial. Benefits include a deep clean, circulation stimulation, and it helps skin cells replenish at a faster pace. Allegedly. Find out for yourself with a 60-minute facial at depicool. £69 Various London locations

depicool.co.uk

Hairband Moulder Style your tresses with this hair shaper £13.50 lookmantastic.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Sharing is caring when it comes to social media

Tweetness and like Fancy getting a job in social media? We chat to the experts to find out how you can stand out from the crowd WORDS CAROL DRIVER Spending all day on Facebook may seem like a pretty cool job, but there’s much more to working in social media. It’s a modern career, involving improving company profiles online, interacting with customers, and engaging a community – and it’s incredibly fast-paced and reactionary.

But if you’re already active on social sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and LinkedIn, you’re halfway there.

Jobs come in all guises, from the exciting to the mundane. A couple in the former category include a social media guru for a Californian wine company, which paid $10,000 a month and included free accommodation among hundreds of wineries.

There was also ‘The Best Job In The World’ – a cunning marketing 38

campaign by Tourism Queensland, which employed British man Ben Southall for six months, paid him AU$150,000 and arranged for him to travel, blog and tweet. Not all vacancies are mind-blowing, though. You could find yourself working in a strategist role, as a community manager, in marketing or as a blogger.

Your potential employer will be looking for your presence on social media – so if your application says you’re active on Twitter, make sure you are.

Andrew Grill, CEO of Kred, a site which measures online influence, says: “When I look to employ people in social media, I only use social media to find them.

“If they are not using it and can’t be easily found, then I’m not interested.”

Grill, who grew up in Adelaide, but now lives in London, is an engineer by trade. He’s has been active online “since before it was even called ‘social media’”, starting a website in 1994.

“When recruiting, I also look for a broad and growing social footprint that proves they get social; attention to detail – social media runs at such a frantic pace, but you also need to know how be precise in your responses and messaging; and an inquisitive mind – the ability to go beyond the tweet and see what makes a person tick.”

Setting the tone When promoting a brand online, it’s important to find a tone that speaks to your audience – there’s no point adopting a cheeky persona if you’re

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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27/7/12 13:22:52

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB DAN THORNE CAREER Social media guru for TNT Multimedia AGE 33 LIVES Wimbledon How did you get into social media?

Through working in marketing (and previously in radio and publishing) – social media was on the up and it was something I gravitated towards.

Photos: Getty

Ben Southall: lucky bloke responding to NHS WHERE TO LOOK “For anyone looking to complaints on Twitter, The most obvious place to look for get into social media, for example. jobs in social media is on social attention to detail is One brand that media. Follow brands you would a must, as is great has got it right is the most like to work for on Twitter and organisational skills,” Facebook page for Facebook and interact with them she says.

Tourism Australia, – that way, you’ll be one of the first “You need curiosity simply called ‘Australia’. to see if there’s a vacancy. and a thirst for With more than knowledge, as it’s about WEBSITES Check out 3.3million ‘likes’, the spotting stories which bubble-jobs.co.uk; nma.co.uk; page only needs to might be working for socialmediaexaminer.com, which post an image, before your brand and talk offer creative and media jobs, as hundreds of thousands about them. And you well as loads of digital roles. Make of users start to interact. sure you join relevant groups on must have great social Jesse Desjardins, skills – it’s all about LinkedIn and update your profile to Social Media & include your social media presence. being social!”

Advocacy Manager, Follow companies such as social What you need says: “Keep it simple media site Mashable on Google+ and do it well; don’t Although there are try to make it no standard industry too complicated.” qualifications for social media, Nora Maki, 34, the social media recruiters will expect you to be able executive for VisitEngland, agrees. to prove your worth, to be able to “I want to make sure our social demonstrate how each of the different media channels as helpful as possible social media sites work. And you for visitors looking to explore England. can expect a starting salary of about We try to include varied amount £20,000 a year for a full-time role. of information, to ensure there is Grill says: “Simply put – to get something for everyone,” she says. into a role in social media Maki, from Finland, but who now you need to be lives in London, worked in B2B and doing it and be NEXT WEEK tech PR before getting involved in confortable with social media. She now sources content, the platforms, Working abroad: posts on Facebook and Twitter, as well jargon and UAE spotlight as organises activities and campaigns. tools involved.”

What do you do day-to-day?

I promote TNT’s awesome content from the mag and tntmagazine.com (as well as the silly stuff that gets us laughing in the office) through Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest and LinkedIn. What’s the best part of your job?

Getting reactions and feedback from our readers – it’s the simplest way to communicate directly with the people picking up TNT or visiting tntmagazine.com. It’s important for us to engage with them.

What’s the most challenging part?

Social media never stops moving – so tearing myself away from the iPad or my phone to interact with the real world is the biggest challenge! tntmagazine.com

HOW TO... WRITE

A COVER LETTER

This bad boy is your first impression to an employer – make sure it’s a good one.

• Do begin by explaining how your experience matches what they’re looking for.

• Don’t say that the position

will be beneficial to you – they already know that.

• Don’t ramble: keep it short, sweet and to the point.

• Don’t email it in a Zip file. Put

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TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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27/7/12 13:23:01

Live,Work, and Play in NYC. With the recent introduction of the E3 visa for Australian citizens, relocating to the USA has never been easier. Makosi is an International Consulting firm in NYC and looking for Project Managers, Business Analysts, Management Consultants and Accountants to work with our Investment Banking and Audit clients.

Flights, accommodation, competitive pay within a rapidly expanding organisation and everything you need to take your career to the next level in the greatest city on Earth. (Opportunities also available in other states.)

Visit www.makosi.com/careers for more information and how to apply.

Follow Makosi Consulting www.makosi.com/social

TNT_1509_edit.indd 40

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

Calling South Africans abroad to help

Build the Cloud!

What do we do?

What do we need?

We play a central role in building the Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud

Exceptional Engineers with very strong technical skills and experience.

(Amazon EC2). AWS Support provides global technical support to a wide

You should be obsessed with customer satisfaction, have a background

range of external customers as they build mission-critical applications

in computer science and be passionate about cloud computing.

on top of AWS services such as Amazon S3 and Amazon EC2

We have open roles available in Cape Town for: Software Development Managers

Cloud Support Engineers – Linux

Software Developers

Product Managers

Software – Web Development

Technical Program Managers

Systems Engineers

Technical Writers

Cool job with a global company who is changing the world of cloud computing, blue skies, white beaches, warm sunny days …… thinking of coming home yet?

If you’re ready to work hard, have fun and make history with us, send your CV to cpt-jobs-tnt@amazon.com or check out all our available roles and apply online at http://bit.ly/aws-cpt-jobs.

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CASH-SAVING TIPS GOLD-COIN TRAVEL Xxxxxxxxx Escape the Olympics hype by heading off to France.

XXXXXXXXX But don’t worry about Xxxxxxxxxxx the queues at airports; P&O Ferries is offering £1 XXXXXXXXX sailings to foot passengers Xxxxxxxxxxx travelling from Dover to Calais from Sunday to XXXXXXXXX Tuesday this summer. For Xxxxxxxxxxx travel from Wednesday to Saturday, day return fares XXXXXXXXX cost only £8.

Xxxxxxxxxxx poferries.com

COACHING PAYS OFF Whether you’re still trying to get to the Games or escape London during them, don’t pay in gold either way. National Express has released one million £4 fares for travel across the UK until September 8.

HOW YOU SPEND IT! items near the front. If you keep walking towards the back, there are some amazing bargains.

MICAH SMITH, 20 JOB Intern at NBC FROM Missouri, US LIVES Waterloo Road How do you budget?

I always go into a store with a set amount of money in

Any money-saving tips for living in London?

One word: sales. A lot of stores put the expensive

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Clothes. I absolutely love fashion and it’s all around – it is so hard to resist.

Oh, ‘lympic party time Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning a £60,000 Games party with guests including Kate and Will. Other celebrities are trying to compete for the gold-standard party

STAY NEAR THE GAMES Residing in the heart of the city during the greatest show on earth just sounds expensive.

However, Premier Inn hotels is offering 2000 rooms for £59 per night – Premier Inn’s cheapest ever London room rate.

Now that’s gold!

❚ As celebrity shindigs go, Elton John always makes his mark. With the Olympics in his favorite town, he is whipping up a party worth an estimated £50,000. ❚ Australian film star Nicole

premierinn.com Photos: Getty

mind that I will allow myself to spend. Once the money is spent, it’s spent.

Last big blow-out?

My trip to Barcelona. With the climates of Barcelona and London being opposite, I was in desperate need of some warm-weather wear.

I went to Oxford Street and bought a few ‘necessities’.

HOW THEY SPEND IT!

travelexpressuk.com

NAPPLES /80 OKTOBERFEST /82

LIFESTYLEMONEY

Only seeing gold

Kidman is planning a sweet teatime with 100 of her closest chums. Estimated cost of teas and cakes is a cool £1000. Wonder if Tom Cruise will show up?

❚ The Beckhams will try to spice up London with a secret celebration of their own. After the Games, they are reportedly planning to spend £55,000 fawning over the Olympic winners. ❚ Rihanna has her voice ready for her own Olympic after-after party following Brangelina’s. She plans to spend £12,000 on spirits to keep things rockin’.

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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Life by the river

Gold gnome This fella will jazz up the garden dotcomgiftshop.com

Put down roots close to the Thames for the luxury of waterside living WORDS CAROL DRIVER

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£40

Team GB cushion Use it to fight your flatmates london2012.com

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£17

There’s more to the Thames than dirty water.

Living alongside the second biggest river in the UK affords easy access to watersports, stunning views as well as a plethora of waterside pubs and restaurants.

And being close to the Thames often means good transport links, so you can whizz across town easier than you’d expect.

But the river can also be a minefield. With so many locations screaming out for your attention, how do you know which is best for you? Here, TNT picks four of our favourites. The rest is up to you.

W6, Hammersmith

Gold frame To put pics of your mugs in ayersandgraces.com

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£2.

Fabric paint Colour your clothes shades of gold hobbycraft.co.uk

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WHAT: In terms of design and architecture, Hammersmith is an odd area, boasting a concrete jungle as well as beautiful riverside views. Located between High Street Kensington and Chiswick, it’s renowned as a popular choice with Antipodeans, and has been affectionately nicknamed ‘Hammertown’. Here, you’ll find all the shops you need to satiate your fashion cravings.

Head to King Street for Primark, TK Maxx and Marks & Spencer. You’ll also find a bunch of decent pubs and restaurants. By the river, there’s The Crabtree (thecrabtreew6.co.uk), a refurbished Victoria pub serving fresh food and fancy wines. Get there early on sunny weekends to bag a table. And the Old Ship W6 (oldshipw6.co.uk) – popular with Aussies.

Grab a couple of beers and sit on the grass.

PRICE: About £70pw for a flatshare.

TRANSPORT LINKS: Zone 2; District, Piccadilly; Hammersmith & City

Clockwise: Putney; Borough; Hammersmith SW15, Putney WHAT: It’s in Zone 2, so close to the hubbub of the city, but Putney has a villagey atmosphere, and boasts a strong Aussie, Kiwi and South African community. Over the bridge to the north, there’s Chelsea, and you can dash into central London by Tube or rail in about 30 minutes. It’s proximity to the river means it’s a great spot if you enjoy rowing. There’s also a big rugby fanbase here, so pubs are chocka with people watching games at weekends. Putney High Street has a lot of shops, bars, restaurants and cafes. But the riverside is the place to be. Sue Johnstone, from Andrews Letting and Management on Putney High Street, says: “The river’s a big draw because it’s very

pretty and a lot of people here like to go rowing. All the restaurants are fantastic. And all along the bank you’ve got park land on both sides – it’s really green everywhere you go.” Try the Thai Square restaurant and bar

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LIFESTYLELIVING LAKESIDE Finding somewhere close to a lake is the next best thing for waterbabies. Not only do lakes make for stunning surrounds in the summer, but they’re often cleaner than the Thames. Here’s our pick of the best.

DANSON LAKE

BEXLEY There’s acres of green space here, so it’s perfect if you fancy more outdoors living. On the lake, you can go sailing, kayaking, canoeing, powerboating and windsurfing.

It’s south of the river, so a bit of a trek to get to central London – it’s not on the Tube, so you’ll have to ride the Overground. You’ll bag a double room for about £60pw.

by the river (thaisq.com), or the candlelit Boathouse pub with outdoor seating on Putney Wharf is also a hit with locals (boathouseputney.co.uk).

PRICE: Average room share £1200pcm TRANSPORT LINKS: Zone 2. District line and Overground.

BATTERSEA LAKE

Photos: British Tourist Authority;

SW8, Vauxhall Pierce the surface of this urban landscape and you’ll discover liberal Vauxhall has a lot to offer. With a lively atmosphere, the area is packed with 20-something professionals, and a huge gay community. Robin Sansay, of Moving Space estate agents, says: “Vauxhall is well-known for being tolerant and openminded.” Look beyond the shiny new flats and the big roads, and there’s a vibrant multicultural community. And there’s no shortage of fresh produce. The nearby New Covent Garden Market is the biggest fruit, vegetable and flower market in the UK. But wake up early as it starts in the small hours and finishes by 10am on Saturdays.

However, you’ll also find your preferred brands, with a Pret and a Starbucks offering the usual fare. Avoid the Tube and hop on a boat from St George Wharf and head to Embankment, Blackfriars or Bankside.

PRICE: From £60pw for a flatshare.

TRANSPORT LINKS: On the border of Zones 1 & 2; Victoria; Overground.

SE1, Borough Although not on the river itself, Borough is just a short walk from the Thames. Boasting

some of London’s greatest attractions – the Royal Festival Hall and Shakespeare’s Globe – the South Bank is a hive for tourists. And now it’s got another string to its bow with the astounding 310m Shard, Europe’s tallest building. Head to Borough Market for top quality produce. But Borough is not all shiny and new. Raj Tanna, of Williams Lynch estate agents, in Bermondsey Street, says: “Far from being ‘up-and-coming’, Borough is here now, with riverside walks, and virtually all of central London right at your door.”

Expect young and trendy locals hanging out on Bermondsey Street. And being on the Northern line – and a short walk to central London – it attracts professionals.

PRICE: From £100pw for a flatshare.

NEXT WEEK TRANSPORT LINKS: Zone 1; Northern Spotlight on line. Close to living in Pimlico Southwark Tube.

WANDSWORTH If it’s decent weather, you can hire a boat to row around the lake between July and September.

There’s also the 200-acre Battersea Park, located south of the river near Chelsea. It’s a mixed-bag area in terms of accommodation with a few rough estates (one of which was home to everyone’s favourite garage collective So Solid Crew).

It’s in Zone 2, but there’s no Tube, just Battersea Park Overground.

Head further west and you’ll come to the popular Clapham Junction.

TOOTING BEC LIDO

TOOTING BEC OK, so not a lake per se, but still somewhere you can get wet. It’s one of the capital’s best-loved pools, and is open until the end of August. Nearby, there’s Overground station Stretham or Tooting Bec Tube, which is on the Northern line.

Both areas have plus sides. Tooting Bec is trendy, where you’d pay about £90pw for a flatshare – and you can travel to central London in 30 minutes. Streatham boasts shops galore, as well as a huge park. Avoid the High Road, one of the ‘dodgy parts’.

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WORLDVIEW

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Oops: North Korea supporters react

MAJOR FLAG BLUNDER AT GAMES KICK OFF UNITED KINGDOM The North Korean football team walked off the pitch at their Games clash with Colombia, after the South Korea flag was displayed.

The image was broadcast next to photos of each team member, prompting the players to storm off.

They were coaxed back on to the pitch after both giant screens at the venue in Glasgow, Scotland, displayed the correct flag, and organisers issued an apology.

“Clearly that (was) a mistake,” London 2012 organisers said. The two Koreas remain technically at war since a 195053 conflict ended in a ceasefire, with no formal peace treaty in place.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @lexcanroar Surely these aren’t the actual Olympics and we’re all starring in a Will Ferrell film about them @AndrewBloch 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, Steve Jobs.

Now we have no Cash, no Hope, no Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die @badbanana North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there’s someone for every un

DRUNK MP GOES FOR DOOR MID-FLIGHT SOUTH AFRICA It seems a South African MP had one too many on board a flight from Johannesburg to India on which he tried to open the plane door.

Dirk Feldman drew the wrath of his political opponents for his “drunken escapades” during an official parliamentary delegation visit to Mumbai.

The MP began to fumble with the 46

Poised for the Games: Matthew Mitcham, champion Aussie diver, poses outside the Olympic Village in Stratford. Mitcham is a Beijing gold medallist in the 10m platform.

The 24-year-old had said London 2012 might be his last attempt for another Olympic gold, but reconsidered after arriving. Wonder if the tortoise swayed it for him …

emergency exit after deciding he wanted to leave the plane.

Feldman, a National Council of Provinces MP with the opposition Congress of the People (Cope) party, was detained for hours by Indian security authorities, and then sent back to South Africa.

SIMIAN NICOTINE ADDICT HIT REHABS INDONESIA An orangutan with a penchant for cigarettes has been sent to an island in a lake to help her quit the habit.

Fifteen-year-old

Tori started smoking 10 years ago after visitors threw cigarettes into her enclosure at the zoo in Surakarta, also called Solo city.

“She was sent to the private island so that smoking zoo visitors won’t be able to throw cigarettes at her,” zoo director Lilik Kristianto said. Tori shares her new permanent home, a small island in the zoo’s compound, with her 16-yearold boyfriend, Didik.

Indonesia, home to 242 million people, ranks third in the world for the number of smokers after China and India, says the World Health Organisation.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 90

Leaving on a jet plane: 11-year-olds without a passport

HUBBY’S $15K STASH GOES UP IN SMOKE An Aussie man was left fuming when his wife cooked a stash of cash after he hid it in their oven.

Melted lumps of the plastic based notes were all that was left of the $15,000 taken from the sale of his Toyota Supra.

The hapless man, who, unsurprisingly didn’t want to be named, told ninemsn: “It was everything I had; I’ve got nothing to my name. That money was supposed to go towards my mortgage.”

His wife had decided to cook chicken nuggets for the couple’s two children at their home in Sydney. The man said he thought the bank notes would be safe in the oven, since his wife never used it.

BOY FLIES TO ITALY WITH NO PASSPORT

Photos: Twitter; Thinkstock; Getty

UNITED KINGDOM An 11-year-old boy who ran away from home, boarded a plane without a passport or ticket and flew to Italy said it was “easier than doing homework”.

Officials at Manchester airport and at the airline Jet2.com are investigating how Liam Corcoran somehow managed to get all the way from England to Rome.

He wasn’t detected until the cabin crew identified him during the flight.

“This is an unusual and serious breach and we are keen to find out what has gone on,” said the government’s transport secretary, Justine Greening.

The unusual incident took place amid

FINAL 1509 World news.indd 47

Time, in minutes, the £44m Emirates Cable Car broke down for over the Thames in London because of the heat.

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AUSTRALIA

Number of primary school children who are sent home from school every day in the UK for attacks in class.

Pounds, in thousands, of taxpayers’ money spent on art and statues by the UK House of Lords during the past year.

Number of Games medals Team GB is predicted to win. Aus is up for 43; New Zealand and South Africa didn’t make the top 15.

Cremated cash: what it looked like before heightened security concerns during the run-up to the Olympics.

Sarah Swayne, a passenger on the return flight, said: “He just sat there chatting away about how he’d been trying to run away from home.”

THIEVES STEAL MAN’S PENIS AS HE SLEEPS CHINA A man had his penis stolen in his sleep, according to police in east China’s Zhejiang province.

Fei Lin, 41, from Niqiao village near Wenling City, had been asleep when thieves broke into his bedroom.

Lin told police: “They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off. I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing – then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone.”

Rumour has it that Lin was having affairs with “several” women, which police believe could have been the motivation.

40

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK I like threesomes with two women. I’m a romantic. I am looking for The One. And I will find her more quickly if I audition two at a time Comedian Russell Brand sheds some light on his sexual endeavours

27/7/12 14:59:58

tntjobs.co.uk SILVERBACK EVENTS T: 07712 829348 www.silverbackuk.com Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours, Applicants must speak fluent English. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner.

Jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

GALLOWGLASS T: 0845 300 2468 www.gallowglass.co.uk Gallowglass is UKs leading crewing company to the sporting and events industry, working for TV, theatre, film and outdoor production companies.

SKI JOBS FRANCE T: 078 2468 1228 www.skijobsfrance.com.au Ski Jobs France supports travellers to organise a working holiday in France. Guaranteed job or your money back.

PK PORTFOLIO

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Location: London Salary: £8 - £11 per hour + skills payments Gallowglass is involved in many aspects of the 2012 Games as well as our on-going work, and has vacancies for friendly, enthusiastic and outgoing people to join our crew.

You will need to be physically fit, have excellent spoken English, be adaptable, happy to work anti-social hours and have a can-do attitude.

CV to hr@gallowglass.co.uk or fill in our on line form at www.gallowglass.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Ski Jobs in France Location: French Alps Salary: Competitive Package Ski jobs available in hotels, bars, restaurants, chalets, airport transfers & ski shops.

Dec to May. French speaking not essential, but helps. Assistance applying for French visa for Aussies & Kiwis. Escape the grey British winter. www.skijobsfrance.com.au | info@skijobsfrance.com.au

T: 021 438 2245 www.paranga.co.za

JOB OF THE WEEK: Head Chef for the Bungalow (as well as all other hospitality positions going into season) Location: Clifton Cape Town Salary: Head Chef = R25 – R35 k pm

The PK Portfolio is Cape Town’s Coolest Culinary Experience – comprising 7 upmarket restaurants, 1 trendy bar and 1 boutique hotel.

This Head Chef position will be responsible for running the beautiful Bungalow restaurant kitchen on Clifton’s beachfront. You will be able to run a high volume restaurant and serve utterly amazing food.

Pascale Hoare or Tracey Cronje | +27 21 438 2245 pascale@hoare.co.za or tracey@paranga.co.za

T: 079 5681 3612

JOB OF THE WEEK: Bar Staff Location: Marylebone Salary: Negotiable

Sloaney Pony is a new venture, formerly the Smugglers Tavern, specialising in Thai Food.

All candidates require good spoken English along with immaculate appearance, sense of humour, energy & passion.

SLOANEY PONY BAR & GRILL

Ajay | 07956813612 | ajaykhajuria@aol.com

T: 07716 376 408

JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £10,000 by Summer

IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).

Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country.

See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night.

IPG

07716 376 408

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

TNT_1509_JOTW.indd 48

JOBS 27/7/12 15:04:43

OURVIEW COMMENT: CAROL DRIVER carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

Off with a bang: fireworks light up the Olympic Stadium

A fantastic way to kick off ‘The People’s Games’

Photos: Getty

Danny Boyle takes us on a captivating magical mystery tour

By Monday morning, the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics will seem like a dream, such was the fantasy-meets-reality wonderland created by Danny Boyle. Kicking off with the most extravagant history lesson ever, using an epic Lord Of The Rings-style stage, he took us on a journey from pre-industrialisation to the present day.

Boyle really let his imagination run riot. From James Bond meeting the Queen, and a Maj lookalike parachuting into the stadium, to Rowan Atkinson in the orchestra playing Chariots Of Fire. It was a surreal combination of all-things quintessentially British.

There was a tribute to the work of the NHS, incorporating characters from children’s literature, with dancing nurses and Mary Poppins descending from the sky.

The ‘best of British’ was the soundtrack – from The Clash to Queen, from Tubular Bells and Tiger Feet, to Pretty Vacant and Bonkers (particularly apt) performed live by East End lad Dizzee Rascal. It was brilliantly bizarre and utterly memorising (except for the athletes’ parade, which was when most people went for a toilet break and topics outside of the Games started to trend on Twitter).

David Beckham roared to the stadium in a speed boat, Muhammad Ali was among the flag-bearers, seven young athletes lit the cauldron, and a house lifted off the ground to reveal Sir Tim Berners-Lee – the bloke who invented the World Wide Web. Yes, it was self-indulgent; that’s the point of an opening ceremony. Yes, the history lesson skipped the part where we invaded and colonised. And, yes, the Queen did seem to be picking her nails for some of it.

But what Boyle did was side-step the showmanship and grandeur of Beijing, to put on a display which had personality, which was patriotic, but also incredibly entertaining.

He celebrated the hard graft and achievements of the working class – and of the 15,000 volunteers who gave up hundreds of hours to make the show happen.

And he managed to deliver on the promise that this would be an Olympics for the people. Now, let the Games begin! » Agree or disagree? Was it the best opening ceremony ever? letters@tntmagazine.com

‘NAZI’ MPS: THINK BEFORE YOU TWEET You’d think after losing your job as a parliamentary private secretary for attending an allegedly Nazi-themed party, you’d be a bit more careful about what you say in public.

But it seems MP Aidan Burley hasn’t learnt that lesson after posting controversial tweets during the Opening Ceremony.

Under the handle @AidanBurleyMP, he wrote: “The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen - more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state!”

Then: “Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap.” Downing Street distanced itself from the views, Twitter went into

“

More leftie than communist Beijing

”

overdrive, and Burley was forced to apologise.

“Seems my tweet has been misunderstood. I was talking about the way it was handled in the show, not multiculturalism itself,” he bleated.

Oh, so he didn’t like black and brown people in the ceremony, but he’s fine with them in the country? Really? #truecolours TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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More human than human Man has always strived for more, but does our quest to better ourselves come at a price?

WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

Greek mythology’s Icarus developed wings so he could soar among the clouds, and was so overcome with his new abilities that he flew too close to the sun. The wax binding his aviation-aiding attachments melted, and he plunged earthwards, his new abilities rescinded with a cruel emphasis. Icarus’s tale, as highlighted at the start of the Wellcome Gallery’s exhibition Superhuman, epitomises the potential and the peril inherent in human enhancement as we constantly, and sometimes ill-advisedly, strive for more.

“Superhuman looks critically at our interactions with some technologies, how they are used to normalise our appearance or our function,” exhibition curator Emily Sargent says.

“The most advanced prosthetic hand available today taps into our love affair with technology. People who have lost function in their natural hand are electing to have it taken off and this bionic hand fitted instead.”

There’s more than 100 artefacts at the Olympic- and Paralympic-inspired showcase. Artificial limbs sit alongside wheelchairs and one of South African Olympian Oscar Pistorius’ running blades; while spectacles, the contraceptive pill and even extreme high-heeled shoes illustrate that our bodies, abilities and appearances are altered every day, in ways we don’t even notice.

There are considerations, too, of where bio- and nanotechnology might take us – and where it’s been. Body modification may sound very much like a modern-day concept but, Sargent says, it’s nothing of the sort.

“The idea of human advancement is something we have integrated in to our lives as long as history can remember,” she explains, pointing out a (used) ancient Eygptian artificial toe and the use of prostethetics for thalidomide victims of the Fifties and Sixties. “[Thalidomide] was the first time that the government invested in technology to compensate for the loss of the limbs, but it was done in an ill-advised way 50

– rather than prioritising function they prioritised form.

Children were slotted in to them, but they enabled their movement little.”

That drive for form over function illustrated our discomfort with disability, but the switched emphasis highlights our growing understanding and, currently, increased ambition for faster, stronger and better.

Consider sports. It has always been shaped by the pursuit of greater physical achievement, and not always through training and practice. Whether it has been isotonic energy

“

It’s mankind’s quest to be more than it is

”

drinks, the Seventies Nike waffle sole trainer, or the use of anabolic steroids, humans have always sought to improve in whatever way they can, the interesting aspect being the extent to which some methods are seen as acceptable or not.

Indeed, Pistorius (see P58) faced a slog to be accepted to compete against able-bodied competitors, requiring a multitide of tests to ensure he was receiving no advantage.

But University of the West of Scotland Creative Futures Research Centre director Andy Miah says we should not always fear such advances.

“A lot of people worry about a technological future, as if using biotechnology, or technological artefacts within our lives, could corrupt our humanity,” he says.

“It seems within elite sports, we see the opposite: technologies have enriched those sports. When we think about the Olympics or Paralympics 50 years on, there may

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Photos: Science Museum, London. Wellcome Images; Wellcome

Clockwise: man and machine in the wheelchair; Fifties prosthetic arms for Thalidomide babies; Icarus’s folly not be that division. We may just have one form of performance that reveals how capable we are at using our bodies in combination with technology.

“In that world, enhancement technologies will be so common that the need for anti-doping, and the value attached to preventing it, will be much less great. What will matter is using technology to demonstrate the best of our humanity.”

Looking forward, however, there’s no doubt moral questions will be raised about distinguishing between what is human and what is enhanced.

In 1998, Professor Kevin Warwick from Reading University declared himself the world’s first cyborg. His work on the interface between information technology and the human nervous system led him first to insert a chip in his arm, allowing him to do such things as turn lights on and off by clicking his fingers, and in 2002 to implant electrodes that connected directly with his nervous system.

This work has been undoubtedly controversial. Warwick the man may not be threatening, but his research was considered scientific heresy. “People with pacemakers and cochlear implants are getting a benefit from technology,” he challenged The Guardian in 2001. “What’s wrong with adding something that gives you extra capabilities?”

Let’s face it: mankind is constantly changing, and as our understanding has shifted from restoring natural function to embellishing it, our increasing acceptance of technological advancements is becoming subtle yet widespread and defined. If you believe the experts, it might not be as long as 50 years before the Olympics is cyborginclusive. Let’s just hope that as our technology accelerates, we remember Icarus, and don’t fly too close to the sun.

Superhuman. Until Oct 16. Free. Wellcome Collection, NW1 2BE wellcomecollection.org Euston Square

OLYMPIC DOPING SCANDAL THE WAY IT USED TO BE In 1988, Canadian Ben Johnson set a new 9.79s 100m world record and snatched the Seoul Olympic gold from Carl Lewis, only to be disqualified for taking steroids.

Today, we loathe dopers like Johnson and Dwain Chambers, but at the turn of the 20th century, taking drugs and chemical enhancements to aid performance was all part and parcel of competition.

Tom Hicks (above) won the 1904 Olympics marathon with a mid-race sip of brandy and strychnine to aid his endurance. His collapse hours later forced the medal ceremony to be postponed.

Strychnine and similar ‘aids’ were subsequently banned. Suspicions were raised in London, 1908, however, when the marathon winner entered the Olympic stadium’s final lap, delirious, and then proceeded to run the wrong way round the track.

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SUPPORT FOR ‘UNFIT’ AUSSIE JONES OLYMPICS SWIMMING Australia’s team chief Nick Green defended three-time Olympic champion Leisel Jones (above) after criticism about her condition ahead of the Games.

Unflattering photographs of triple gold medallist Jones were published by Australian media under headlines such as ‘Leisel is relaxed, but is she ready?’.

“I think you’ve got to respect that athletes prepare for four years for this occasion. And athletes come in different shapes and sizes,” Green said.

He dismissed constant media speculation that London was a farewell, holiday tour for Jones, a four-time Olympian, as “disgraceful”.

Aussie sprinter Cathy Freeman described the criticism as un-Australian. “It’s not very friendly or encouraging,’’ she said. “All of us need to be supportive of our athletes.’’

SAFFAS FORCED TO PICK BRIT IN TEAM

OLYMPICS EQUESTRIAN UK-based rider Alexander Peternell was selected for the South African team after winning his second appeal with the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

South Africa had originally selected lower-ranked Paul Hart for the Games, but the Court ruled that they had not applied the selection criteria properly.

“It forces upon the South African public an athlete that they do not necessarily recognise and one that they do not necessarily support,” SA Olympic committee chairman Tubby Reddy said.

“As we all know, this athlete [Peternell] has been based in the United Kingdom for the last 11 years consecutively.”

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Jodie Schulz of the Australian women’s hockey team trains ahead of the Olympic tournament. The Aussies played a trans-Tasman grudge match against the Kiwis at the weekend and this week take on Germany, the US and South Africa

WILLIS TALKS TOUGH AHEAD OF 1500M

BIG WEEK FOR ...

OLYMPICS ATHLETICS

Aussie swimmer James Magnussen has declared he’s in London to win gold and he’s been heading the right direction so far, clocking the year’s fastest time in 100m at the Olympic selection trials (47.10 secs) in March.

He’ll also appear in the 50m and the 4x100m freestyle relay.

The media are building up a battle between Magnussen and his Brazilian rival, Cesar Cielo, but the big Aussie is focusing only on himself. “My biggest competitor,” Magnussen said, “is myself and my head space.”

Kiwi runner Nick Willis is aiming for big things at the Olympics after smashing his NZ record time by 1.44 secs at last week’s Monaco Diamond League.

Willis clocked a time of 3min 30.35sec in a sizzling race won by Olympic champion Asbel Kiprop, from Kenya, in the fastest time of the year – 3:28.88.

“I will be one tough Kiwi to shake in the Olympic final. If the Kenyans think they can easily sweep the medals, they know I am here now, and have a history of performing in the big races,” Willis said.

“Hopefully I can raise my game to even another level and get New Zealand back on top of the prestigious 1500m podium.”

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Rugby League’s lighting up Wembley

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With something for everyone from Beginners to Pro Netballers, with venues across London get in touch now to get a space in one of our leagues.

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Yohan Blake’s the 100m form man

QUOTES OF THE WEEK I laugh a lot, just not in front of you guys, your questions aren’t funny British tennis gold medal hope Andy Murray defends himself against media accusations he’s got no sense of humour

PREVIEW Here come the glamour events OLYMPICS ATHLETICS COMPETITION BEGINS

FROM FRIDAY BBC ONLINE/ RED BUTTON Long gone are the Olympic days when a competitor had to swear a vow in front of a statue of Zeus as his lover vouched for his youth. Athletics, however, remains, and it starts this week at London 2012.

Friday features everything from the prelims of the women’s 100m, 400m and heptathlon (look out for GB’s Jessica Ennis and NZ’s Sarah Cowley) to round one of

the men’s 1500m (NZ’s Nick Willis and Australia’s Geoff Risely and Ryan Gregson will compete).

Aussie Chris Erikson will be in action on Saturday, walking for the 20km gold, while compatriot Henry Frayne will be hoping to feature in the long jump final.

Sunday has the men’s 100m final and a chance to see if Usain Bolt will be able to defend his title against Yohan Blake. Much has been made of Blake’s two victories over his fellow Jamiacan this year, but Bolt is determined to rewrite history. Stay glued to your TV at 9.50pm. Blink and you’ll miss it.

THE CHAT | Bradley Wiggins – convict blood?

I decided not to play that card – because of him, because of the crowd, and because the nation will cry Team GB athletics coach Charles van Commenee discusses his reasons for not punishing trip Phillips Idowu for a lack of communication

Gareth is young and physically a beast, so he was able to put the effort in Tottenham Hotspur manager Andre Villas-Boas explains why Garth Bale is back in club action. Why isn’t he fronting for Team GB, though?

GAMES ON TV

Photos: Pho Phot s: G Ge Getty

SWIMMING hear British Tour de France winner Bradley Q IWiggins, in Games action this week, has an Australian connection. What’s that about? father, Gary, was an Aussie, a pro cyclist in the A Wiggins’ Seventies and Eighties, who moved to Britain, where he met Bradley’s English mother. However, he abandoned his family, returning home and earning a rep as a hard drinker. Four years ago, Gary, aged 55, was found in the street with head injuries.

He died soon after, but no one was arrested. The Wiggins family hopes Bradley’s success may prompt new information, but when he was recently asked his dad would appreciate his achievements if alive, the second-generation cyclist replied: “I don’t know really. Depends if he was sober ... I’ve put that one to bed.”

Women’s 200m medley Stephanie Rice (AU) is in action Tues, 8.45pm. BBC Online/ red button

FOOTBALL Men’s group match NZ takes on the might of Brazil Wed, 2.30pm. BBC Online/ red button

BEACH VOLLEYBALL LL L Women’s group up p match mat matc atch tch Focused: Wiggins

Australia takes akes es on n Croat Croati Croatia Cro Croatia atia a Wed, ed d 10pm.

10pm 10 1 0pm pm m BBC B BBC online/ onli onl online/ ine/ e// red reed d butt bu button butto tton ton n TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

Out: Mariem Alaoui Selousi

Don’t be too hasty to discard the chemical brothers and sisters

Photos: Getty

Drug cheats could be put to good use outside the Olympics

Gotcha! Days before the Games began, the World Anti-Doping Agency (Wada) snapped nine athletes using banned drugs, delivering sentences ranging from two years out of the sport to Moroccan 1500m contender Mariem Alaoui Selousi’s lifetime of exile. And fair enough, too. But it’s to be expected; whether in marriage or on the sportsfield, humans will always cheat. They can’t help themselves.

However, rather than make drug cheats outcasts, their services to human science (and those of the coaches and chemists behind them) should be recognised in the form of a Drugolympics, a tournament where they gather to see how far they can push the human body with the aid of substances. Medals wouldn’t go to the athletes themselves, though.

They’d be paid well, of course, but merely figure in a racehorse-like context, the vehicle for a team of cooks to showcase their skills in taking humans to the next level.

Imagine it: “And entering the arena is Dr Hans Allova. He’s been using D. Wayne Chambers to streamline his Wunfasta supplement, a mix of HGH, steroids, Clenbutorol … with a bit of Valium for pre-race anxiety. Look at the veins on Chambers’ eyeballs and the biceps on his fingers. He’s a new breed.”

Or, the athletic guinea pigs could get ethical with their desire to fill their bodies with synthetic hormones. “Ben Johnson, through his work with Dr Mus Silmax, has successfully provided 30 barren women with children created from the stem cells of his regenerating spine. That the kids may have a propensity for chemical dependency is not something we should worry about right now – Johnson is a legend of the circuit.”

The problem the Drugolympics would face, however, would be the pesky ’cleanskins’, trying to cheat by entering the comp with fake drugs in their system, using the challenge of facing the superhumans to take their own performance to the next level and/ or to o prove pro ove that the drugs don’t work. Humans, eh? They just can’t help themselves. » Would you watch the Drugolympics? letters@tntmagazine.com

BE REALISTIC ABOUT WOMEN’S FOOTBALL It’ll be refreshing to learn a few new football names – it gets a bit boring hearing about Rooney, van Persie, Balotelli and Barton week in, week out.

Instead, for parts of the next fortnight, it’ll be about Steph Houghton (GB), Rebecca Smith (NZ) and Marta (Brazil).

However, Games organisers could have helped them out a bit more. Women’s football isn’t exactly mainstream and holding the opening game between NZ and GB at Old Trafford was ill-conceived and too ambitous. A half-full stadium created only a hollow atmosphere, instead of the electric one a 35,000-seater would have whipped up.

It was up to Cameroon coach Enow

Trafford “wasOlda bit hollow ”

Ngachu to up make the competion a bit more exciting, suggesting the Brazilian team are too fat too win. tea Was W s he right? I don’t know, but there’ll Wa probably blokes tuning in to make p pro roba obab bly ly be be a few f And learn a few new up p their theeirr own o ow wn minds. min ffootball fo ottballl names, nam mess off course.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Speed demon The man known as the ‘Blade Runner’ hits London WORDS PIERRE DE VILLIERS

If ever there was any doubt that extraordinary South African athlete Oscar Pistorius has captured the imagination of people across the world, one need only travel to Kingsley St John’s Primary school in Cheshire. There, pupils have been so inspired by the first double amputee to compete at the Olympic Games, they have erected an effigy of the star runner – complete with blades – outside their classrooms.

“I received a letter from the school last week who had made an Oscar ‘scarecrow’ – they sent me a picture, it was really good,” says Pistorius, who will compete for South Africa at the Olympics alongside able-bodied athletes in the 400m and 4x400m. “It’s extremely humbling to get that kind of attention and I feel so blessed to receive such positivity from people. When I found out that I would represent Team South Africa at the Olympics, I had so many positive support messages that I was just overwhelmed.”

While Pistorius has faced much scrutiny leading up to the Games, it is nothing compared to tidal wave of hype that will wash over him once he takes to the track. Alongside Usain Bolt and Jessica Ennis, the South African will be one of the stories of the London Olympics, with controversy still raging over whether the athlete’s carbon fibre blades give him an unfair advantage during a race. The fact that he continually has to defend himself is something that clearly frustrates and annoys the 25-year-old.

“To me there is no controversy or debate,” he says. “It was proven four years ago by the best scientists in the world that there is no net advantage to me over 400m in the Ossur carbon fibre sprinting leg.” While the din of naysayers must be difficult to block out, Pistorius is determined to only concentrate of running fast times at the Olympics.

“All of the athletes taking part in the Games are facing a time of heightened attention and I think the main thing to do is stay true to yourself and remain focused. I have always been a very targeted person, I don’t allow things to get to 58

me. My main priority is to train, compete well and be the best athlete I can possible be.”

Pistorius is used to being told he can’t do things. Born with a congenital absence of fibulas, both his legs were amputated below the knees at 11 months, and doctors believed he would never walk. Pistorius proved them wrong, enjoying an extremely active childhood, quickly becoming mobile on prosthetic legs and tearing around his Johannesburg neighbourhood. Showing a fearless streak, he once jumped into a swimming pool with his prosthetics, causing his mother to leap in after him as he sank.

“I did a lot of things, with our without my prosthetics and have always taken a humorous approach to when things did not quite go to plan,” he recalls.

Enrolling in top school Pretoria Boys High really opened up the world of sport to Pistorius and he excelled at water polo, tennis and rugby. In June 2003 he shattered his knee during a rugby game, an injury that would dramatically change his life. As part of his rehabilitation, Pistorius did athletics training under coach Ampie Louw and discovered he had a unique talent for sprinting.

“I was disappointed when I suffered my rugby injury, but being at Pretoria Boys High shows that when one door closes another opens,” he says. “It is a very disciplined school with lots of opportunity and it’s as much the students that attend there as the teachers that make it so special.”

In 2004, Pistorius ran his first competitive 100m for Pretoria Boys High in 11.72 seconds. The existing Paralympic record was 12.20s. In June that same year, he trialed Ossur’s Flex-Foot Cheetahs running blades for the first time, and in November he won Paralympic gold in the T44 200m, setting a new world record time of 21.97 seconds. His outstanding nding ding din ng performance was the first of many at disability sports port ports orts orts ort ts e events eve e with the man nicknamed ‘The Blade Runner’’ also allso sso breaking brea breaki the world record in the 100m and picking gu up thre three g gold old

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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27/7/12 10:25:40

Photos: Pho Phot s: G Ge Getty

Clockwise: Pistorius in action; reflecting; jogging through London

medals (100m, 200m and 400m) at the Paralympics in Beijing in 2008 – titles he is desperate to defend in London.

However, it is Pistorius’ performance in the Olympics that will generate most column inches, especially given what he had to go through to compete against able-bodied athletes.

After managing to get an IAAF ruling that banned him from competing against able-bodied runners in 2008 overturned, Pistorius has battled hard to make the qualifying time for London. Last year, he won silver at the World Championships in Daegu as part of South Africa’s 4x400m relay team and, even though in the lead-up to the Games he failed twice to run inside the 400m ‘A’ standard qualifying time, he was still included in the SA Olympic squad.

“I have a phenomenal team behind me who have helped get me here,” he says. “I, along with them, will now put everything we can into the final few weeks of preparations before the Games where I am aiming to race well, work well through the rounds, post good times and maybe even a personal best time on the biggest stage of them all.”

Pistorius has certainly given himself the best possible chance to do just that, thanks to a torturous fitness regime and a diet that prohibits him from tucking into his favourite meal.

“If I was going to have a naughty day, I would have a big steak, jacket potato and sour cream,” he says. “But, I’m a big believer of what you put in, you get out, so I will eat a lot of proteins, nuts and seeds. It can be tough but these sacrifices are what’s needed to be the best.”

On the odd occasion Pistorius, who enjoys movies, fishing and architecture in his spare time, does venture out, his adoring fans are not too overbearing. “I’m very lucky that my supporters are all very respectful,” he says. “I don’t really get mobbed when I’m out and about.”

Once Pistorius becomes the first man with no legs to compete at the Olympic Games, in front of an audience of billions, that is sure to change. b

A RACE FOR THE AGES PISTORIUS V SINGLETON Oscar Pistorius’s big year doesn’t end when the Olympics do. He’ll still have the Paralympics to complete, including seeing off a challenge from rival Jerome Singleton (above) – a man who has described his rivalry with Pistorius as ‘Ali v Frazier’.

The American sprinter, 25, beat Pistorius at last year’s World Championships in New Zealand and will keep the pressure on in London.

“It is great to run against the likes of Jerome because that’s what you want in a race: good, challenging competitors, it’s what keeps you striving for perfection and gives you the hunger to win,” Pistorius says.

“There are also four or five other guys who o will wil w ill be b challenging for the medals and the e 100m 00m 0m mw wi will ill b be a an incredibly competitive race. e.. Itt won’t won wo on’t n’tt be be easy.” ea eas easy. sy.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

ON STRIKE Water is poured over a cobra during the Nag Panchami festival in Amritsar. Observed during the monsoon, the Hindu celebration sees prayers and tributes to snakes.

Photos: Getty, art-hostel.com

INSIDE

LIVING ON THE EDGE /64

ON THE DOWN LOW /76

BEER AND BEACHES /82

The Edinburgh Fringe is the world’s biggest art fest. Here are the weirdest ways for you to get stuck in.

Look closely between the Soviet remnants and onion-domed churches of Sofia, Bulgaria, to find Europe’s most secretive nightlife.

Head to San Diego for California’s best-kept secret, with beer to rival Belgium and a surf scene evoking Sixties cool.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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Tribes compete in Papua New Guinea

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

HEAD TO THE SHED Good on Tricia Jones, a savvy East Ender who is renting out her garden shed in Leytonstone for £40 a night during the Olympics.

MOUNT HAGEN SHOW Papua New Guinea Get lost in a sea of 50,000 locals at the largest cultural extravaganza staged by Papua New Guinea. On average, only 300 overseas visitors 9-15 attend this festival, so it’s guaranteed to be full of local flavour. The Hagen Show pits one tribe against another in a sing- and dance-off, a battle to gain status without bloodshed.

AUG

WHY: The show’s roots are in colonial times when the Europeans sought to reduce tribal fighting by channelling inter-tribal rivalry through competitions for the best cultural performance (crafty). Today, the tribal groups compete for cash prizes along with honour and glory.

BALLOON FIESTA Bristol, England

pngtours.com

IRELAND PUCK FESTIVAL Killorglin, Ireland

More than 100 hot-air balloons launch from the 9-12 plush estate of Ashton Court. The massive crafts take all shapes and sizes; in the past a UFO, beaver and kiwi have taken flight. The highlight arrives in the evening, when the balloons glow in time to music.

AUG

bristolballoonfiesta.co.uk

ELVIS WEEK

Memphis, Tennessee, US This year marks the 35th anniversary of the King’s 10-18 passing, with 2012’s Elvis Week anticipated to be the biggest ever. Expect Elvis impersonators in droves, plus an Elvis hologram performing live on stage.

AUG

elvis.com/elvisweek

62

DO IT BECAUSE: Aside from the spectacular dances, you can get a backstage glimpse into the dancers’ preparations in Paiya Village.

In this informal setting, visitors watch the performers apply their make-up and body decorations before the performance.

Together with events including the ‘Wobbly Circus 10-12 Walkabout’ (the mind boggles), a goat is brought into town and the Queen of the Puck Fair, traditionally the oldest virgin in the village (a bittersweet crown, then), crowns the beast ‘King Puck’. This eccentric fair is one of Ireland’s oldest.

AUG

puckfair.ie

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL

Edinburgh, Scotland

On until September 2, this is the world’s largest art 9 festival. The Edinburgh Fringe offers more offbeat, independent productions – check out P64 for more.

AUG

eif.co.uk

Photos: Getty

Before you baulk at the price, consider that Tricia has pulled out all the stops to make her shed cosy, decking it out in Union Jacks and throwing in a free breakfast.

Better, the Olympic Park is a mere 20-minute stroll away, so holidaymakers needn’t bother with the expense or the hassle of battling their way to the Games on the Tube.

I reckon any guests game enough to spend a night in the shed are getting a better deal than they would staying in some identikit chain hotel – a no doubt pricier prospect, with what I suspect amounts to a withered sausage and three cold beans offered for a supplementary charge of £15.

I’ve spent plenty of nights abroad where I would’ve given my right arm to sleep in the relative comfort of a garden shed. There springs to mind the hell-hole in Chile with an oversized mushroom sprouting shamelessly in the bathroom, or the room in Hong Kong where turning on the AC unit achieved little more than coating the place in big, black blocks of dirt.

A friend stayed in a ‘hostel’ in China that gave her no choice but to sleep on a mattress (no actual beds here) under mouldy sheets.

For the record, I had only good hostel experiences in China, even if opening my door one morning to be met with a neat line of yak hooves hanging outside was a bit strange.

Still, these jolly experiences all came at a cost of about £4 a night.

I’ve been charged tenfold for a darkened cell in Manchester that threw in the stench of old man and stale cigarette smoke for free. At least the shed smells of fresh pine.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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KEEPIN’ IT CLEAN

Photos: Getty

Cabin crew for Virgin Australia have been told to stop calling passengers “mate” as part of a new regimen aimed at brushing up Aussie staff’s etiquette. Flight attendants from Down Under will also be asked to learn about wineappreciation and take grooming classes (how rude), allegedly so Virgin can win more business customers from rival Qantas. Australia’s Daily Telegraph reported that Aussie crew had been told only to refer to customers as “mate” if they were frequent flyers who had given consent. The paper quoted one crew member as grumbling: “They want us to get away from that ‘sex’ look that’s been attached to the company.”

DANGER IN DORSET

TIGER TOURISM BAN

Visitors to the Jurassic Coast have been warned to be vigilant when walking in the area after a 22-year-old woman was killed by a landslide in Dorset. Charlotte Blackman died after part of a coastal path collapsed as she strolled in Burton Bradstock. Weeks of heavy rain followed by sunny weather has led to parts of cliffs along the Dorset coastline crumbling away. The region is a Unesco World Heritage site and a huge draw for outdoorsy travellers. Jurassiccoast.com warned people visiting west Dorset to avoid cliffs and beaches with a cliff backdrop.

Indian authorities have taken the decision to ban tourism in “core zones” of the country’s tiger reserves, prompting complaints from a campaign group extolling the virtues of responsible travel.

The ruling, which bans visitors in parts of more than 40 reserves, was accused of being likely to do more harm than good by Travel Operators for Tigers chairman Julian Matthews. “The best visited reserves have the best protection due to the revenue from entrance fees,” Matthews said. “Seventeen tiger reserves have few or no tigers left in them. Guess what? No tourism has ever been allowed in or near these reserves.”

SCRATCH AND TRAVEL Free On The Go tours and travel vouchers are now up for grabs courtesy of the ‘Travel Scratchies’ game, available via the firm’s Facebook page. Much like a scratch card, but without the pesky necessity of actually scratching anything, players must uncover matching symbols to win trips to the likes of Morocco and Jordan. Two tours had already been won when TNT went to print, leaving just eight still to play for, so get in there quick. On The Go has also unveiled its new India brochure, with some unmissable Delhi to Colombo and Colombo Caves and Kandy tours in the mix.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Edgy stuff: expect eye-popping scenes at the Fringe festival

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Edinburgh Fringe

SCOTLAND

SCOTLAND EDINBURGH

Glasgow

N. IRELAND

GETTING THERE Train fares between London and Edinburgh in August will be sky-high. Consider the coach instead; single fares from London Victoria start at about £14.50. nationalexpress.com

The two branches of bistro Urban Angel, on Forth Street and Hanover Square, are great for brunch or a light bite.

Mains from £6.90. urban-angel.co.uk Mosque Kitchen offers affordable, tasty Indian cuisine right next to George Square, home to several Fringe venues.

Mains from £4; samosas and veg from 60p. Talk about a result. mosquekitchen.co.uk Around the corner from the Gilded Balloon and Udderbelly, The Pear Tree House boasts a sizeable beer garden and Free Fringe events upstairs. Pints from £3.50 pear-tree-house.co.uk The Spiegeltent in George Square Gardens is a Fringe institution. Round off the night with a drink and a dance in this famous mirrored big top. spiegeltent.net Pollock Halls, part of the University of Edinburgh, is a good bet for a cheap stay, with single rooms from £56. edinburghfirst.co.uk

Clockwise from here: feel the fear at a fake job interview; go running with a triathlete; the poster for extreme show Hearts on Fire; order your lunch at a performance art cafe

64

With 620 beds, Smartcityhostels may offer a sniff of availability. Five-star facilities and ensuite rooms make this a step up from your average hostel. From £17 for a dorm bed. smartcityhostels.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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UKTRIP

Living on the edge The Edinburgh Fringe is the world’s biggest art fest. Here are the weirdest ways to get stuck in WORDS CAROLINE BISHOP

Finding yourself in unusual situations is par for the course at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the world’s largest arts festival. From eating supernatural cheese to getting sticky with fellow audience members in a sweat lodge, this year’s event promises some memorable experiences. It’s hardly surprising; on from August 3-27, and with 2695 shows in the programme, this year’s Fringe is the biggest ever.

And while top comedians and esteemed playwrights may garner the most column inches, for a truly Fringe experience, throw yourself into one of the festival’s interactive shows.

Entertaining, offbeat and often downright weird, these participatory productions are unlike anything else.

One Minute Birdwatching WHAT Claiming to be the shortest Fringe production ever (yes, it is one minute long), this free show asks you to spend that minute spotting birds – shouting ‘bird’ (or its name, if you know it) when you see one. Your instructor, Holly Rumble, records your efforts to create a rather amusing audio track. Suitable for twitchers and non-twitchers alike.

WEIRD? 5/5. Completely daft; inevitably funny.

WEB oneminutebirdwatching.com Endure – A Run Woman Show WHAT Running a marathon can be an emotional rollercoaster.

Performer and triathlete Melanie Jones invites you to share her own highs and lows as you follow her on a run, listening to her personal thoughts via an iPod audio track.

Surprises ensue.

WEIRD? 3/5. You may get some funny looks from passers-by, but it’ll certainly be different from your usual jog in the park.

WEB runwomanshow.com

Photos: Getty

Hearts On Fire WHAT Based on real events, Hearts On Fire recreates a sweat lodge in the Arizona desert where motivational speaker James Arthur Ray gathered 60 followers in 2009 – three of them died. Become one of Ray’s followers and immerse yourself in this claustrophobic experience created by the aptly named Peculius Stage.

WEIRD? 5/5. Not for the faint-hearted.

WEB heartsonfire2012.com

Would Be Nice Though ...

WHAT You arrive at an office to face a job interview. You’re nervous, scared of rejection, slightly sweaty. Would Be Nice Though... recreates this psychologically fraught atmosphere in a real working office. But who are the actors and who are the audience members?

WEIRD? 4/5. A surreal ordeal, and there isn’t even an actual job on offer.

WEB oddcomic.co.uk The Guild of Cheesemakers WHAT Cheese lovers rejoice. This show starts out as a cheesetasting session – complete with real experts proffering sage advice – before revealing the story of a mysterious supernatural cheese with amazing powers. But should you eat it? The choice is yours.

WEIRD? 4/5. Cheesy and profound – an odd mix indeed.

WEB summerhall.co.uk/2012/the-guild-of-cheesemakers Hunt & Darton Cafe WHAT Even having a cuppa in Edinburgh can be entertaining.

This pop-up cafe created by two performance artists promises surprises with every sip. From the menus to the food to the till receipts, everything is presented as art – even your waiters are in on the act.

WEIRD? 4/5. Expect bizarreness with your Battenberg.

WEB huntanddartoncafe.com Kemble’s Riot WHAT Fancy a good heckle? This show positively encourages it. Based on the true story of riots in a London theatre in 1809 – they were protesting against ticket prices – it casts the audience as a raucous mob whose role is to drown out the actors on stage.

WEIRD? 3/5. Sounds rather therapeutic, actually.

Floating hotel: WEB kemblesriot.com ❚

NEXT WEEK

More on the Edinburgh Festival Fringe at edfringe.com

Hop aboard Britain’s backpacker barge

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LATEDEALS

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Three nights in Reykjavik is £299 with Flight Centre

DEAL OF THE WEEK EGYPT TOUR

£250

An eight-day tour of Egypt is £250pp (was £299pp) with Topdeck (0845 2575212; topdeck.travel).

Excludes flights, entrance fees and local payment. Departs on August 5.

< £250

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MOROCCO Three nights in Marrakech is £325pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes five-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Luton. Departs August 8.

ICELAND Three nights in Reykjavik is £299pp (save £39pp) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 2291616. Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and flights from London Heathrow. Book by July 31; valid for travel November 1-30. Add on a Blue Lagoon tour from £52pp.

EGYPT & JORDAN A 16-day tour is now £391pp (save 30 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation, some meals, ferry between Egypt and Jordan, guide and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by August 5; departs August 11.

> £500 JORDAN An eight-day tour is £533pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 4998487; intrepidtravel.com).

Visiting Petra, Wadi Rum, Dead Sea, Jerash and more. Includes hotel accommodation, breakfasts, dinner at a Bedouin camp. Excludes flights.

Book by August 3; departs August 18.

USA A 16-day tour from New Orleans to San Francisco is £1062pp (was £1249pp) with G Adventures (gadventures.com; 0844 2722060). Visiting San Francisco, Yosemite, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Navajo, Roswell and New Orleans.

Departs August 20.

SPAIN & PORTUGAL A nine-day tour is £509pp (save 40 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation, some meals and guides. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by August 5; departs August 18.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

Unique Tours, Transfers, and Activities Famous BIG MONTENEGRO TOUR Budva-Kotor-Lovcen National ParkRoyal Capital City CetinjeMonastery Ostrog-Skadar Lake National Park-St. Stefan tour length 280 km, 12 hours €40

Popular DURMITOR NATIONAL PARK TOUR Budva-Kotor-Zabljak-DrumitorDjudjevica Tara Bridge tour length 300 km, 12 hours €40

Most Wanted RAFTING ON TARA RIVER Budva-Kotor-Scepan Polje- Tara Canyon includes: all transfers, rafting equipment, breakfast, lunch, 20 km of rafting €70

Brand New ONE DAY SAILING IN BOKA KOTORSKA BAY Kotor-Perast-Island Lady of the RocksHerceg Novi-Island MamulaTivat-Island St. Marko 30 nautical miles, 11 hours From €45

DAILY TRANSFERS TO ALBANIA

www.montenegrohostel.com TEL: + 382 69 039 751 montenegrohostel@gmail.com

Photos: Thinkstock

VENICE Two nights is £166pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes B&B accommodation and flights from London Gatwick. Departs August 7.

BELGIUM One night in Brussels is £99pp (save £45pp) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 1241679. Includes four-star, B&B accommodation and return Eurostar tickets. Book by July 31; valid for travel August 6-20.

MOROCCO An eight-day tour is £167pp (save 30 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Rabat, Fes, Midelt, Erfoud, Marrakech, Casablanca and more. Includes accommodation, some meals and tour guides. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by August 5; departs August 18.

AMSTERDAM Two nights is £125pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; holidays.easyjet.com).

Includes four-star, room-only accommodation and flights from London Southend. Departs August 29.

PARIS Two nights is £149pp (save £180pp) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 2196868. Includes three-star, B&B accommodation and return Eurostar tickets. Book by July 31; valid for travel August 1-20.

£250 – £500

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EUROPE SUMMER ON SALE! SAVE UP TO 30% OFF EUROPE ON SALE

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TNT Language School sponsored by

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DON’T MISS OUT Learn The Lingo courses, part of TNT’s Language School, are ideal for beginners or those who’d like to brush up on the basics

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Fish-eye lens If you are looking to shoot a panorama, then an ultra-wide or fish-eye lens could be the answer.

They are great for landscapes, extreme sports and architecture photography. They can also be used to shoot abstract images where an unnatural distortion can add interest. There are two types of fish-eye lens; the circular

and the full frame. An excellent characteristic both these lenses have is a large depth of field, leaving much of the frame in sharp focus. One ‘problem’ with the fisheye is that the centre of the frame appears to bulge outwards and lines at the edge have impossible curves. For many, this is the exact reason they are so fun.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER REFLECTIONS Anneke Verhoeven, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS The Monte Carlo Casino has been caught in the highly polished surface of the metal sphere that stands opposite. Slight variations in the surface create noise in the reflection, making it appear to ripple like a heat haze. The ultra-glamorous location has been distorted and squeezed into a curved space, as if it has been trapped inside a crystal ball; a tiny principality cut off from France caught in its own personal snow globe.

RUNNER-UP OXFORD THROUGH A FISH-EYE LENS Bronnie Spencer, Australia

WHY IT WORKS A quiet Oxford street scene has been warped into an impossible curve. The lens has distorted the light into an extreme wideangle view. The buildings are enveloped by the dark metal railings that hug the outside of the frame. A mist hangs over the image, obscuring the cobbled road as it reaches its vanishing point.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

1

BOOT CAMP HOLIDAYS

@tntmagazine

TRANSYLVANIAN FITNESS, ROMANIA

The summer holiday is a bittersweet proposition. On the one hand, it inspires giddy elation at the prospect of escaping to a far-off land. On the other, there lurks the terror of being forced to reveal your beach body.

However, the great minds at TNT have come up with the ultimate solution: a boot camp holiday that’ll whisk you away and whip you into shape. And with that, we present our five favourites.

First up is a destination that doesn’t immediately scream ‘get fit retreat’: Transylvania. But Dracula’s spooky locale will have you pouring sweat instead of sucking blood.

Combining traditional workouts (think yoga and gym) and outdoor activities with a mix of tourist attractions, Transylvanian Fitness gives you a great mix of a boot camp and a typical trip abroad – so you can look great on your holiday snaps.

Set in the region of Brasov, the camp is enclosed by the majestic Carpathian Mountains, forests and medieval castles. The sublime surroundings 70 00

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provide some comfort as you’re put through your paces.

The folks at Transylvanian Fitness first evaluate you and tailor a diet and fitness programme to your needs.

You will be fed organic foods from local farmers, giving you a taste of traditional fare, and the brochure promises you’ll feel full, not hungry.

Thankfully, every day is different, so you won’t get bored doing the same old exercises. You’ll be ‘enjoying’ everything from a beautiful hike through the mountains to sweating your butt off in a more standard boot camp set-up. Tourist excursions are included, with Dracula’s castle (pictured) an obvious stop.

At the end of the week, Transylvanian Fitness sets you up with a long-term plan for sticking to your new healthy lifestyle. A fit body for a lifetime?

Sign us up.

An all-inclusive week with Transylvanian Fitness costs £1700 per person per week, with options for oneor two-week stays. transylvanianfitness.com

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

2

TEXAS COWBOY FAT FARM

Don’t take offence at its name – the Fat Farm is just a no-nonsense dude ranch located in the sweeping hill country of Texas.

Everyone here is given the real cowboy treatment; in between gym work and hill hiking, you’ll be lugging hay and horseback riding. So, grab your cowboy hat and give it a “yeehaaaaaah!”. This ranch-style boot camp rings in at about £851 for the all-inclusive week.

Photos: Thinkstock, transylvanianfitness.com, ranchocortez.com, junglebaydominica.com, kayaklakemead.com, bikinibootcamp.com

ranchocortez.com

4

LAKE MEAD, NEVADA

Some of us just want to get down and dirty with nature – and if mountain biking, camping and kayaking are your idea of an awesome day off, check out this adventure-filled fitness holiday.

A typical day could include jumping on your mountain bike to race down a rarely used path, running a couple of miles through a desert canyon, and then paddling your kayak to a beach to set up camp for the night. Prices are startlingly reasonable; from £287 for a three-day adventure. kayaklakemead.com

3

JUNGLE BAY, DOMINICA

‘Extravagant’

Committing to the boot camp vacation doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be pampered as well. This jungle island holiday comes with three (muchneeded) 30-minute spa treatments.

The idyllic setting makes the exercise that bit easier to stomach. Between yoga sessions, hikes to secret beaches and waterfalls, plus snorkelling through local reefs, you’ll be fooled into thinking you’re not working out at all. From £1105 for a week in high season. junglebaydominica.com

5

BIKINI BOOT CAMP, MEXICO

Bikini Boot Camp fills your days with walks, yoga and hardcore fitness workouts, all to a backdrop of the beach.

There’s also the chance to race up Mayan ruins, go swimming in freshwater holes in the jungle, and learn kitesurfing in the Caribbean sea. You also get to enjoy great local food: freshly caught fish, pineapple and mango are just a few examples of the low-fat, chemical-free fare you’ll be dished up. A beachside massage and Mayan clay treatment are included. From £1245 for five nights.

ROME CAVALIERI OVERVIEW Though slightly removed from central Rome, the five-star Cavalieri (it’s under the Waldorf Astoria umbrella) easily has the best views over the ancient city.

Each room is fitted with floor-to-ceiling windows, which overlook the Vatican and surrounding countryside.

The décor’s got a touch of the baroque, and old-world style abounds (the designers weren’t shy about using marble). Dining is out of this world, thanks to two (very upscale) restaurants; try threeMichelin-starred La Pergola.

WOW FACTOR Two outdoor pools buried within 15 acres of Mediterranean-fringed parkland. The sparkling waters entice from a distance, and many guests can’t help but lunch at outdoor tables set up around the pools.

ROOMS Spacious and extravagant, with nifty extras including a pillow menu, a welcome box of Baci chocolates, and a confusing assortment of light switches.

BILL PLEASE Doubles £145pn.

Via Alberto Cadlolo, 101 00136, Rome, Italy romecavalieri.com Fly direct from London Luton to Rome from £126.99 return with Monarch Airlines monarch.co.uk

bikinibootcamp.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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You can travel between Jerusalem and Amman by bus

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AIRPORT LOUNGE VOUCHERS WORTH £60

If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

would like to travel to Gabon but Q Ican’t find any information about travel within the country (such as scheduled flights or bus routes). Just wondering if you have any tips for where to search?

Steve Weissburg, via email

planning on going to Jordan on Q I’m a tour, but was keen to add on a few days in Israel, in particular Jerusalem, at the start of my trip. The main issue I am having is finding out how I get from Jerusalem to Amman. Any advice? Matt, via email can travel directly by bus from Amman A You to Tel Aviv, which will save you the hassle

on lonelyplanet.com is a useful source (where you can find other travellers who are travelling within the country) and seat61.com is good for advice on train services. Visiting the Center Gabonais de Promotion Touristique (tourist office) in Libreville is a good starting point for information when you arrive in the destination.

Gabon has local transport known as taxibrousses, which are minibuses or 4WDs (often overfilled with passengers) that operate to most destinations. The capital, Libreville, on the northwest coast, will have a good selection of taxi-brousses routes available, which leave from PK8 (8km outside the city). If you decide to use regular taxis, only use taxis from recognised sources, such as hotels. Do not hail taxis on the street. There is also a limited train service, but it’s not up to Western standards, so expect delays and breakdowns. However, the trains are modern and clean. The operator SETRAG doesn’t have a website, so you will need to buy your tickets at the station. The train is certainly quicker and more comfortable than the taxi-brousses to cross the country. Gabonese-operated domestic flights are best avoided due to failing safety standards.

of getting to/ from the borders independently.

You will have to wait for all of the passengers to clear border control and it is more expensive than travelling with a combination of local buses, but it is certainly easier. You can travel by bus directly from Amman to Tel Aviv with Trust International Transport (six hours, approx £20).

This is your best bet as it is cheaper and easier than travelling by taxis. From Tel Aviv, you can travel to Jerusalem by bus. The journey takes one hour, costs around £3 and they run every 15 minutes (bus.co.il).

With regards to safety, Israel’s complex political history means there are a number of considerations for travellers. Tourists do visit northern Israel without incident, but it is vital that you are aware of the issues for travellers.

I would advise you monitor the Foreign Office’s website (fco.gov.uk). You must be aware that there are areas of Israel you should not visit, in particular Gaza and the Sheba’a Farms and Ghajjar along the border with Lebanon. In Jerusalem, the Foreign Office advises that visitors should be vigilant in all areas of the city – see the website for more details.

72

CRAFTY CARD You can save a bundle by buying a Go San Diego Card; you’ll get access to more than 48 attractions, including the San Diego Zoo and SeaWorld. When you buy and print online, you won’t need to waste time in a queue for tickets, either.

Raj Awasti, via Facebook NO ROOM AT THE INN If you’re visiting California in summer, book your accommodation well in advance. We just turned up in LA and San Fran the same way we had in South and Central America and could not find room anywhere. We ended up having to sleep in our hire car for a couple of nights until something opened up.

Hilarious, but not ideal!

Jenni Dennis, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

about transport in Gabon isn’t A Information easy to find online. Our Thorn Tree forum

READERS’ TIPS ON ... CALIFORNIA

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2002

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With the African specialists Absolute Africa 30 years overlanding in Africa

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Next Stop?

WALKING & CYCLING HOLDAYS IN EUROPE

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

CAPPADOCIA, TURKEY Emma Taylor, from Australia

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

HELEN ELFER, 29

BECS MORICE, 29

London, England

Aberystwyth, Wales

BEST Seeing Prince play in Abu Dhabi on Yas Island was brilliant. It was a massive gig in the arena, and he got lots of people up on stage. There was a surge forward and I ended up right up front, close enough to touch him.

WORST Spending Christmas on a bridge in Shanghai in terrible weather. My boyfriend and I were really skint, so we got a £5 bottle of beer from M&S and looked out at the view of the city, while the locals were yelling at us: “Those foreigners are drinking beer, get rid of them.”

Been to any good gigs abroad?

I went to a jazz festival in St Lucia and saw Diana Ross. She was very sparkly.

Scariest travel experience?

Hitchhiking in France. Someone picked me up right away, but started driving in the wrong direction. It ended up they needed to pick something up at their brother’s house, so it was fine, if a little scary at first.

Ideal travel partner?

I’ve only ever really travelled alone.

Um ... Eric Northman (True Blood)?

» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: TNT, Thinkstock

MEKONG CRUISE Sail down the Mekong in style, staying in private boutique cabins as you explore central Laos and northern Thailand.

A 15-night trip is £3999pp with Cruise Mekong (0844 8800985; cruisemekong.co.uk). Includes flights from the UK, accommodation in boutique hotels and lodges, six-night Mekong cruise, the Golden Triangle region and Luang Prabang in Laos.

THE INSIDER

MARGAUX DE ROOY Executive Director Robin Pope Safaris

My first big trip was travelling to Zimbabwe and Malawi.

This was in 1998 to celebrate my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. It’s a large part of why I’m now based in Malawi’s capital, Lilongwe.

My most challenging travel experience was when I was about 12 years old, travelling to Italy, where I was supposed to be welcomed by my parents. For some reason, I ended up in a different part of the airport and we only managed to find each other about six hours later. I thought I’d been abandoned – there were no mobile phones yet.

My favourite place in the world is southern Africa as a whole.

Working on safaris in Zambia and Malawi, seeing the landscapes I adore every day, represents a dream come true.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is Argentina. The diversity of landscape attracts me, as does the lively culture.

My guilty travel pleasure is pretending I don’t have a budget.

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[Caption] Art Bar: head underground to find this colourful watering hole ROMANIA

Sofia BULGARIA

BULGARIA SOFIA

GETTING THERE Direct flights between London Luton and Sofia start from ÂŁ133 return with Wizz Air. wizzair.com

[Caption]Left, top to bottom: the hidden Apartment and Candle Bar 76

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Keepin’ it on the down low Look closely between the Soviet remnants and onion-domed churches of Sofia to find Europe’s most secretive nightlife WORDS CATH QUINN

Go through an unmarked door, up an unlit stairwell, and you’ll find it – The Apartment, one of Sofia’s best bars.

Not taxing your navigation skills enough? Then how about Candlebar, a club entered via a disused shed? On the surface, Bulgaria’s capital might seem like a Soviet-style city with a few ordinary bars and restaurants. But in fact most of Sofia’s best venues require more than a little dedication to rooting them out. These underground hangouts don’t want to be found by the average passer-by, and take drastic measures to hide away. That’s why the most interesting places need not only addresses to track them down, but preferably a photograph of the entrance and a healthy dose of tenacity.

The reason for all this secrecy lies in Sofia’s history of occupation. The Russians invaded Bulgaria in 1944, quickly setting up strategic points of rule. During the next 33 years of Communist domination, the country’s architecture changed to Soviet Bloc and the politics were Stalinist.

Underground, however, several factions of dissent operated, some using locations that have evolved into colourful drinking spots. During Russian rule, these venues were a great deal more dangerous; nowadays, it’s more about mock-speakeasy cool.

“I’m taking you to Candlebar,” explains local expat Laura Emmet, as we wander Sofia’s Ul Sevtemvri, a popular street for drinking and eating. “I only found it because a local showed me where it was. Some people live here for years, have heard of it, but never find it.”

We stop suddenly by an alleyway, and I wonder if Laura has overshot the entrance. But then she points to a decomposing shed – a barely thrown-together few planks of wood resting uncertainly against a larger building. “Here we are,” she says, entering the alleyway. But I can’t see a bar of any kind.

It’s only when we enter the shed that an entire two-storey barn of a bar becomes obvious. Inside, there is no overhead illumination; instead, candles light every table and are lined up along the bar. “This used to house an anti-Communist printing press during World War II,” Laura explains. “The candles are so it can’t be seen from outside.” As I fumble for my camera, she warns: “Pictures are strictly forbidden.”

The tiny flickering flames add a decidedly clandestine edge to Candlebar, helped by the knowledge that a genuine resistance operated here, printing newspapers that brought a very real threat to the lives of their publishers and writers.

The in-the-know hush of the venue also makes a welcome change from the ubiquitous ‘turbo-folk’ that I’ve come to associate with Bulgaria’s nightlife. Traditional songs set to a frenetic backing track might have inspired head-banging euphoria at first, but tonight I’m relieved not to be at the mercy of the Bulgarian DJ’s decks.

Next stop is The Apartment, situated on Neofit Rilski, and no less easy to find. On the way, we pass several ‘squat

“

It once housed an antiCommunist printers

”

shops’, a concept unique to Sofia. The tiny stores selling drinks and cigarettes force you to stoop down to buy from windows at pavement level. They are a legacy of the city’s chequered past, when the fall of Communism prompted ››

[Caption] Symbol of Sofia: Alexander Nevsky Cathedral TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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a slew of new retail outlets. These openings simply made the best and cheapest use of the space available, leading to some creative manipulation of existing architecture. With squat shops, it was much cheaper to simply expand a basement window of one of the city’s many large-cellared buildings, than to develop a traditional shopfront at street level.

The Apartment, however, is several floors above the ground, and is accessed via an unmarked door, which, to the casual observer, looks like a domestic dwelling. Surely one of the most sophisticated hidden offerings in the entire city, Apartment is very deliberately in the style of a real (albeit beautifully adorned) domestic space. Without a proper bar, and comprising a medley of interconnected rooms made cosy by soft furnishings and low lighting, you’d be forgiven for imagining yourself the guest of a Bulgarian interior designer.

That’s not actually too far from the truth; the owner is a bohemian sort aiming to create a soothing space for ‘guests’ rather than customers.

As we help ourselves to drinks from the fridge, leaving money with a wandering barman, Laura explains why she thinks these secret spots have thrived. “During the Communist era, there was not much fun in the city,” she explains. “These spots have reclaimed that for the locals.” ❚

Best hidden bars The Apartment, 68 Neofit Rilski Strict attention to street name and number is the best way to find this bar. Although Apartment is unnumbered, the buildings on either side are, so simply match up the neighbouring even numbers.

Art Bar, 21a Ul Angel Kanchev If you’re a guest at Art Hostel, you could easily stay for weeks without knowing this bar was churning away beneath. Hidden down an unmarked grey stairwell, the bar suddenly breaks into a riot of colourful rooms, alongside a bar serving some of the cheapest beer and spirits in the city.

Khambara, Ul 6 Sevtemvri 22 Otherwise know as Hambara, The Grange, Candlebar, or The Barn in translation, and hidden behind a ramshackle shed, there is simply no way you would approach this bar without insider information.

BEST OF THE REST MUST-SEE SOFIA ALEXANDER NEVSKY CATHEDRAL Sofia’s most iconic sight is this Bulgarian Orthodox cathedral. Its jumble of green domes is topped by an extraspecial, gold-plated dome at 45m high. The interior is just as impressive, elaborately decorated with Italian marble. The first foundations were laid in 1882 to honour the Russian soldiers who freed Bulgaria from Ottoman rule in the Russo-Turkish War of 1877-1878. For a really memorable experience, try sitting in on one of the cathedral’s atmospheric, incense-filled sermons.

PALACE OF JUSTICE The palace’s huge columnated exterior is well worth snapping; the building’s remarkable edifice seems only fitting seeing as all the courts of the capital reside under its roof. Even better, a free walking tour of the city meets here twice a day. freesofiatour.com

BANYA BASHI MOSQUE This striking red-brick mosque dates back to 1576, when the Ottomans had taken over town. Its name translates to ‘many baths’, for reasons that no one can quite seem to agree on. Either it was built over hot springs, a bathhouse once adjoined it, or it’s simply because it neighbours the central mineral public baths, which have been (and continue to be) under restoration since the Nineties.

This bizarre monument – described as an “unloved monstrosity” by one guide book – is worth seeing for its very oddness. Created in 1981 to commemorate the First Bulgarian Empire, this mangle of concrete blocks looks to us like a mutant built from the detritus of a dystopian future. In case that weren’t strange enough, the whole mess is hemmed in by ugly, graffiti-coated walls. LC More on Sofia at

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Check out a Bulgarian Orthodox sermon. Above: bend down to buy at the city’s unique squat shops

Photos: Per Christian Frankplads, Cath Quinn, Getty

1300 YEARS MONUMENT

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

High times This is Amsterdam in 48 hours WORDS LAURA CHUBB

DAY 1: 09:00 No doubt most visitors to Amsterdam are keen to start soaking up the city’s café culture, but there’s a wealth of enlightenment on offer in the Dutch capital that doesn’t come courtesy of a cloud of smoke. Start your day exploring Amsterdam’s more high-minded offerings at the Van Gogh Museum (vangoghmuseum.nl; admission about £9) – there’ll be plenty of opportunities to actually get high later. The prolific Dutch painter, who created more than 2000 artworks over little more than a decade, was a colourful character who notoriously sliced off his own ear and, in 1853, fatally shot himself. Just as colourful are his seminal post-Impressionist paintings, the most famous of which you’ll see up close here, including Sunflowers.

11:30 Amsterdam is easily one of Europe’s best-looking cities, so don’t spend too long cooped up inside. A great way to admire its multifarious architecture – think gorgeous Gothic and Renaissance buildings nudging up against beautiful Baroque and Art Nouveau creations – is from its network of picture-book-pretty canals. Hop on a boat cruise (amsterdamcitytours.com; from about £11) and start snapping.

13:00 You’ve earned a treat, so seek out Buffet van Odette (598 Prinsengracht, tel. + 31 20 423 6034, mains about £8) for their doorstop-sized steak sandwich – and all with a view of the canal.

14:00 Time for some history. The perennially popular Anne Frank’s House (annefrank.org; admission about £7.50) makes for a thought-provoking trip into the secret space in which the Jewish Frank family spent silent days hiding in 80

Forties occupied Holland. You’ll even see Anne’s famed diary sitting in a glass case.

16:00 Lighten the mood with a self-guided tour around the House of Bols (bols.com; admission about £9).

Dedicated to the particularly potent Dutch gin from which later versions of the drink evolved, your journey ends with a cocktail mixed in the museum’s Mirror Bar. A great start to the evening ahead.

18:00 If you’re hankering after a coffeeshop before the much-dreaded dope card comes into effect (rumour has it you’ll have to be a Dutch resident to access coffeeshops in the near future), one of our all time favourites is Dampkring (29 Handboogstraat; tel. +31 20 6380705). The interior is a photo opportunity in itself; think of a trippy fantasy-alien forest and you won’t be far off. The smoking menu is one of the city’s best.

20:00 For a meal without pretension, head over to Forno (restaurantforno.nl), where the wine menu is divided into ‘cheap’, ‘decent’ and ‘special’. Filling pizzas and pasta should satiate the most monstrous of munchies.

22:00 It’s time to hit the town proper. Switch between equally rowdy scenes at karaoke-mad Casablanca (24 Zeedijk) and its cabaret neighbour Casablanca Varieté (26 Zeedijk), where you can expect drag queens and magic tricks. A failsafe combo if ever we heard one.

DAY 2: 10:00 Renew your energy with the killer English breakfast at The Bulldog Hotel (bulldoghotel.com; about £6). With a daily happy hour, a steady supply of Jagerbombs and greasy food, plus one of the Bulldog’s many coffeeshops

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11:00 You’re already in the Red Light District, so swing by the Erotic Museum (erotisch-museum.nl; admission about £5.50) for a little sex education. From a whole floor dedicated to sadomasochism, to a connoisseur’s collection of erotic art, it’s sure to broaden your horizons.

13:00 Another day, another booze tour. This time, hit up the Heineken Experience (heinekenexperience.com; admission about £12) for a bizarre range of interactive beer experiences – including an odd moment in which you find out what it’d be like to get brewed and bottled.

14:30 For cheap and filling fare, try Tomatillo (261 Overtoom, tel. +31 20 683 3086; from £5.50). This convivial venue serves up fresh Tex-Mex near to what will be your next destination, Vondelpark.

15:30 The park is the perfect place to spend a sunny afternoon. Wandering among the lawns and lakes, it’s impossible not to feel chipper, thanks to the vibe kicked out by guitar-strumming hippies and hipsters, not to mention the ever-present puffs of fragrant smoke.

19:30 Head to the Mellow Yellow (33 Vijzelgracht), one of the Dam’s oldest institutions (it dates back to the Seventies), for toasties on tap. Stay here if you’re in the mood to relax; to ramp it up, try Little Buddha (littlebuddhaamsterdam.com) for theatrical glam.

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California dreaming Head to San Diego for California’s best-kept secret, with beer to rival Belgium and a surf scene evoking Sixties cool WORDS LAURA CHUBB

WHEN TO GO: San Diego is sunny year round, though the “You stay classy San Diego,” Heidi Hageman narrating a novel accompanies a visit to the warmest temperatures arrive in July loo – I’m seated facing a wall lined with at mocks, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, every travel article I read about San Diego ends like and August. While the phrases ‘May least 20 local beers on tap. I’m also sipping grey’ and ‘June gloom’ have been that. I’m sure you’ll be more imaginative.” a beer cocktail: Negra Modelo blended with coined for the cloudy mornings that house-made sangria, lime, cayenne pepper Shit. There goes my closing line. tend to accompany those months, Heidi is a local who is treating me to and salt. dinner at one of San Diego’s best gastro pubs, skies usually clear by about 11am.

Summer Nixon, co-founder of Brew Hop so I owe it to her to go beyond Ron Burgundy CURRENCY: £1 = US$1.55 Tours, likes to call the phenomenon “beer for inspiration. Poor old San Diego; in many enlightenment”. Coming off as every inch ACCOMMODATION: The ways it’s had to put up with being the runt of Andaz is a party hotel for hot young the Californian, with her gold-blonde hair, California’s litter. While liberal, landmark-rich peppy temperament and habit of prefixing things in the Gaslamp Quarter. From San Fran and glam, celeb-saturated LA have £158pn. sandiego.andaz.hyatt.com every adjective with the word “super”, hogged the limelight, San Diego has long Summer isn’t your archetypal ale-chugger.

Tower 23 is a seafront hotel close been best known as a slightly insalubrious But you won’t find a more enthusiastic to the thriving student bar scene at military town and annual gathering place for proponent of the San Diego beer scene.

Pacific Beach. From £148pn. the socially inept (the city hosts Comic-Con Over a curry stout at Ballast Point’s brewery, t23hotel.com every year). Then came Will Ferrell’s comic the first stop on the tour, she tells me: “You SEE: sandiego.org tour de force, Anchorman, seemingly sealing could drink a different beer every day and never catch up. There are 20 to 40 styles coming from each San Diego’s fate by ensuring it would forever be synonymous brewery in the area per year.” with [adopt silly Ron Burgundy voice] “a whale’s vagina”.

Resultantly, beer tourism is a growing industry – hence Crafty culture Summer’s Brew Hop business. And it’s a different prospect from tasting the fruits of Europe’s older brewing traditions, But in recent years California’s second-largest city has been most notably in Germany and Belgium. The scene in San assembling a far more appealing reputation for itself. Thanks Diego is more “experimental”, Ballast’s head brewer Yuseff to the celebrated list of microbreweries and nanobreweries Cherney tells me. Just think back to that curry stout. based in San Diego, plus the fact that the World Beer Cup The next stop on our frothy odyssey is Stone Brewing – which pits the planet’s best brews against each other – takes World Bistro and Gardens – or “Disneyland for beer place here, it is widely labelled ‘America’s craft beer capital’. drinkers,” as Stone Brewing Company’s Randy Clemens ‘What does America know about beer?’ I hear you snort. calls it. As it offers 37 varieties of draught beer and 125 of But you’d be dead wrong to dismiss the US as a nation of bottled, a food menu boasting ingredients such as Mike’s Bud-swilling beer philistines. The ever-spreading fad for Stone Smoked Porter and Garlic Beer Cheese, and sweatshirts going local – the likes of ‘farm-to-table’ and ‘artisan’ are emblazoned with the moniker of one of the brewery’s bestinescapable when confronting a menu in the US – has twined loved ales, Arrogant Bastard, there’s little room to disagree. its tendrils around food and drink, paving the way for “[CEO] Greg has delusions of grandeur that would make a lengthy catalogue of brews to rival even those of Belgium.

Napoleon blush,” Randy half-jokes. “His motto is ‘act now, And while in the UK, beer geekery tends to conjure images think later’.” For that reason, the owners are in the midst of beardy blokes in socks and sandals, in the US, it’s very of building the brewery’s first boutique hotel. Looking much the territory of cutting-edge cool. about the bistro’s sun-soaked gardens with a glass of Stone’s Never is this more apparent than in Little Italy’s Craft & obscenely silky Imperial Russian Stout in hand, I can’t think Commerce, where Heidi has brought me. A low-lit, book›› of a better idea for a getaway. lined bolthole – in which the soundtrack of a posh Brit TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Stand-up paddleboarding is the fastest growing sport in the US. Left, from top to bottom: highlights Balboa Park and beer Going Downtown “Fucking wanker! One-on-one! Come on, one-on-one!” It’s 7pm on a Sunday, and I’ve been watching scenes more akin to Newcastle on a Saturday night unfold in San Diego’s Gaslamp Quarter. Outside Stingaree, a club famous for rooftop pool parties, a British tourist has clearly been hitting the booze hard and is now looking for someone to hurt. Not that the American partygoers are much better behaved. Inside, as girls dressed in nothing more than bikinis and ankle-breaking wedges dance around the darkened interior, a vacant-eyed shirtless man stumbles into the ladies’ toilets.

Perhaps I shouldn’t have expected anything less of San Diego’s party district, although I am visiting on the weekend of Cinqo de Mayo, which rowdily commemorates a Mexican victory of the 1800s. That might explain the ramped-up atmosphere (still, Heidi did tell me of the legend “Sunday fun day” in the Gaslamp). San Diego was part of the newly independent Mexico in 1821 and it took a few decades for the US to reclaim it; the city is just a 20-minute drive from the Mexican border. The influence of its neighbour is keenly felt, therefore, most happily in the food – fish tacos and breakfast burritos are San Diego staples.

The rejuvenated Downtown area has played a huge part in making San Diego more sexy, a fizz it had lacked thanks to dour military associations (the city is host to the largest naval fleet in the world). An influx of glam bars into the district, not to mention a raft of saucy hotels (my mini-bar at the Andaz offers a vibrator and ‘intimacy love kit’), could almost be considered a return to vice-friendly form. In the 1880s, the Gaslamp Quarter was a red-light district riddled with prostitutes and gamblers. Even renowned gunman Wyatt Earp ran gambling halls here.

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The Gaslamp is at odds with the rest of San Diego, however.

While there are examples of a more stereotypical Californian energy – the ‘see and be seen’ clubs; women ‘walking’ their dogs in strollers; eccentric vignettes, such as when I see a hardbody being pulled along on a skateboard by his dog, only to hit the kerb and do a somersault when the mutt dashes off, so that he is then harangued about his dangerous conduct by an angry tarot-card reader – San Diego is better known for its ‘retro California’ vibe.

Brewpub Neighborhood serves up craft ales

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Hitting the beach “You are an Indian warrior princess,” my instructor, Izzy Tihanyi, soothes, rather imaginatively. Standing up on my long board, paddling the Pacific’s still waters with big, sweeping strokes, I can almost picture myself as a kick-ass chick striking out across the ocean – well, if I didn’t feel nervous as hell. Blame the part of the disclaimer I just signed absolving surf school Surf Divas of all responsibility should I die from contact with a ‘carnivorous creature’. A couple of dolphins just tipped their fins to say hello, so now I’m searching the waves for signs of a more sinister dorsal.

“Don’t worry,” Izzy says, nodding towards a swimmer further out than we are. “If there are any sharks, they’ll go for him.”

We’re in much deeper than the surfers, who’ve been hard at it since even before I opened my curtains at 8am and spotted clusters of them catching waves along the coast. This

“

My mini-bar offers an ‘intimacy love kit’

Candice Eley says beer-drinking helps support the local community. Right on

”

is my first attempt at stand-up paddleboarding, so I need flat water to get a feel for it; there is, however, a more proficient SUP-er deftly navigating the surf closer to shore.

SUP is the fastest-growing sport in the US today. An ancient Hawaiian form of surfing, it’s attracting a wider range of disciples than its paddleless relative, probably because it’s easier to learn (I stand tall on my first try) and there’s no need to schedule sessions around high and low tides. It also provides a strong core workout – the balancing act coupled with paddling leaves me with no choice but to stay taut – and can be more versatile, as you are able to catch more waves in a set. Even better, the board is so long that Izzy also fits on it and catches some waves for me as we head back towards the sand.

A trip to San Diego isn’t complete without visiting its beach communities, where it seems Sixties California surf culture never died. Back in Craft & Commerce, Heidi tells me that “there’s just a very laidback mentality here – people ››

The Insider's guide Candice Eley is a public relations manager with the San Diego Convention & Visitors Bureau. She tells us her top tips for a visit to the city.

What is San Diego’s best-kept secret?

“Our beer! There are more than 40 craft breweries around San Diego County, and all the best bars and restaurants serve up as many local brews as possible.

In San Diego, supporting local beer is a way of life.”

What’s your top tip for anyone visiting San Diego?

“Consider getting a rental car for your visit. Downtown is very walkable, and the trolley system connects to a few places around town, but I definitely recommend exploring outside of the Downtown area, which will require a car.”

Where do you go to party?

“I love hanging out in the North Park neighbourhood after dark. Toronado is a beer-lover’s bar with 50 taps and 300 beers by the bottle! If you’re in the mood for a cocktail, Bar Pink pours them stiff, and you’ll be rubbing elbows with the artists, musicians and other hipsters that call the neighbourhood home.”

Where do you go to chill?

“I love soaking up the view of the Pacific Ocean from La Jolla Cove. Sparkling blue waves crash up against the rocky cliffs, and you can watch harbour seals frolicking in the surf. Even on a busy weekend, walking along the rocks and peering into the tidepools is wonderfully serene.”

Where’s good for an adventure?

“Surprisingly, also La Jolla – just head off the shore into the water. Kayaking from La Jolla Shores is super fun; you can paddle through gorgeous sea caves and get an up-close view of the seals. La Jolla Shores is also a great spot for learning to paddleboard or surf.”

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come from LA to San Diego to chill”. I feel this ‘vacation vibe’ first-hand after my SUP session, when I rent a bike and ride the boardwalk along Pacific and Mission beaches. Both are filled with the young, beautiful and bumming around – I feel like I’m on a movie set watching the washboard stomachs rollerblade by. Further down at Ocean Beach, there’s a more hippy feel; shabby bungalows with surfboards stuck in their windows decorate the seafront.

I breathe in the typical San Diego day of blue skies and sunshine (the last time snow fell here, it was 1987), then notice the tiny corner shop I’m headed for claims to stock 250 kinds of craft beer. No wonder this city’s sensibility is so mellow – with great beaches, great beer, and great bodies, the California dream is being lived right here.

So I’ll refrain from telling you to stay classy, San Diego.

You just crack open some brews and be chill. ❚ Tailor your own Brew Hop tour (prices vary) at brewhop.com Stand-up paddleboarding and surf lessons with Surf Diva start from £35 for 1.5hrs surfdiva.com

Craft & Commerce: gourmet snacks, taps aplenty

Top to bottom: the Gaslamp Quarter; paddleboarding in the Pacific; bike the boardwalk; beer mid-brewing

BEST BREWPUBS Photos: StudioSchulz.com, JoanneDiBona, SanDiego.org, John Bahu, Getty, Diane Rabin

DRINKING IN SAN DIEGO NEIGHBORHOOD, EAST VILLAGE In Downtown, East Village is more local than the touristy Gaslamp Quarter, with Neighborhood a favourite hangout.

While a great little brewpub in its own right, offering almost 30 beers on tap and bottled brews from local heroes including Alesmith and Greenflash, try getting into its hidden speakeasy, Noble Experiment. This small cocktail bar is concealed behind what looks like a wall of beer kegs by the bathrooms. neighborhoodsd.com THE LINKERY, NORTH PARK North Park is San Diego’s artsiest neighbourhood, where colourful murals cover apartment buildings and even electricity boxes are painted with bright patterns. Celebrated for its sausages, The Linkery also has a huge blackboard of ales and handily serves up samplers, which means you can try an array of beers in ‘taster’ measures. thelinkery.com CRAFT & COMMERCE, LITTLE ITALY Just off Little Italy’s main thoroughfare – confusingly called India Street – Craft & Commerce is a cosy gastro pub with a brilliant menu to help soak up its beer cocktails. We loved the bacon cracker jacks (pancetta, sweet popcorn) and mini corn dogs with spicy fondue. Choose the IPA Cocktail to wash down this gourmet twist on munchies – American IPA blended with grapefruit-infused aperol, orgeat and lemon.

NEXT WEEK Rickshaw Run: Taking a tuk-tuk 3000km across India

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l e v a r T l a v i t s e F t Firs

e c n e r e f f i d e th . . . e c n e i r e p Ex La Tomatina 27-30 AUGUST

Hotel Packages

£149

3 or 4 day option. City Hotel with roof top bar & pool. Return transfer to Bunol, wine and water festival option, welcome party, walking tour & more

Wine & Water Festival Specialist!

Oktoberfest 22 SEPT - 7 OCT

Packages from

£229

We cover all weekends of the festival with our tours and you can choose from our coach camping options from London, weekend flight tours or Hostel, Hotel or Camping accommodation only packages.

Don’t forget our 8 Day Coach COMBO which includes Amsterdam, Austria, Munich and Paris.

BeerHall reservations available for every Sunday Limited spots available

Hogmanay 30 DEC - 2ND JAN 2013

Hostel Packages £249 4 day option includes Return transport from London, City Hostel, welcome party, Street Party Pass, Loony Dook or Stirling Castle excursion, experienced tour leader and more..... Hotel Option also available

Loony Dook Specialist!

firstfestivaltravel.com 020 7471 6417 TNT_1509_travel.indd 94

27/7/12 09:28:15

TRAVEL

Festivals - Events - Tours Galway Oyster Festival 28 - 30 SEPT

Flight & Hotel Packages

fr £329

Our newest tour for 2012! Join us at Irelands outstanding food festival to celebrate the start of the oyster season. Includes: Flights, Hotel Accommodation, Airport Transfers and more.....

Gastronomic delights await us!

Rugby Tour NEW ZEALAND VS WALES 24 NOV

Packages from

£149

Day trip £149, coach transport, pre game party and match tickets.

Overnight Trip £179, coach transport, pre game party, match tickets and central hostel accommodation.

Contact us for details on New Zealand v Italy.

Belgium Xmas Markets 8 - 9 DEC & 15 -16 DEC

Packages from

£119

Join us in the beautiful Belgium cities of Brugge and Brussels as we meander around the wonderful Xmas markets, sip mulled wine, salivate over delicate handmade chocolates and finish the day with a blonde beer!

2 or 3 day options available. Hostel or Hotel

Xmas Tours 2012 BERLIN - EGYPT - RUSSIA

Packages from

£199

It might seem like a long way of but we all know it comes around quickly. We have a host of Xmas Tours to suit time and budgets, from our 5 day Berlin Tour to 2 weeks in Eygpt . See our website for full packages. and itinearies.

Coming Soon - SNOWMAD 2013 Full itineraries and tour information can be found on our website or by calling our office. First Festival Travel, 68 North End Rd, London W14 9EP Closest Tube: West Kensington TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TNT_1509_travel.indd 95

95

27/7/12 09:28:17

europe

we

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

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08450 267 514 TNT_1509_travel.indd 96

NEWS & VIEWS

FOLLOW US

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www.busabout.com

info@busabout.com 27/7/12 09:28:19

Scotland, Wales, Cornwall & Ireland

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Valid on all 2012 departures. Book by 6 August. Enter promocode ‘summer’

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WAS £215 NOW £175 (Students Now £165) GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY, DERRY & BELFAST Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

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TNT_1509_travel.indd 97

5

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T N T E V I S U L C X E alking tour ONLY 10

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FROM

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TNT_1509_travel.indd 98

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TNT_1509_travel.indd 99

99

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EGYPT

& MIDDLE EAST UK Golden Backpack

NER WIN vourite

10 DAY Moroccan Explorer

9 DAY Jordan & Israel

WAS £650

WAS £605

WAS £975 NOW

20%

13 DAY Nile & Beyond

NOW

UP TO

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Dep. 5 Aug 2012

OFF

£550

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& SHORT BREAKS

Dep. 24 Aug 2012

£530

Includes £110 local payment

Oktoberfest Camping

£279

Includes return coach from London!

6 DAY Steinmeister

Includes return coach from London!

20 -25 Sep, 27 Sep-2 Oct, 3-8 Oct

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FROM

£249

Includes return coach from London!

7 DAY Grossmeister

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21-27 Sep, 28 Sep - 4 Oct, 3 -9 Oct Our campsite atmosphere is second to none.

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Includes return coach from London!

TNT_1509_travel.indd 100

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4 DAYS Edinburgh Fringe Festival & Tattoo

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£895

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27/7/12 09:24:16

TRAVEL

EUROPE SUMMER

SAVE UP TO 20% OFF!

20%

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22 DAY Europe Unplugged Dep. 16 & 23 Aug 2012 Includes French Riviera, Vienna, Munich, Amsterdam, plus more!

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30 DAY Eastern Adventure

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Dep. 24 Aug & 21 Sep 2012 Includes Swiss Alps, Rome, Sailing in Greece, Rhine Valley, plus more!

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ly Ju f o th 4 e th n o n r o B North America Introducing Topdeck

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*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.642, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. North America discount and “Win your trip for free” details available at www.topdeck.travel - See online for full terms and conditions.

TNT_1509_travel.indd 101

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TRAVEL

Travelling to Europe on a Walkabout?

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102 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

OKTOBERFEST

SKIFEST AMAZING EARLY BIRD PRICES – DON’T MISS OUT! ■ Skifest Xmas + Paris NYE 21 DEC-1 JAN ■ Xmas Coach Tour 21-29 DEC ■ Xmas Flight Tour 22-29 DEC ■ NYE Coach Tour 28 DEC-5 JAN

£639 £439 £589 £489

✔ Accom on-piste ✔ Ski/snowboard hire ✔ 6 Day skiing

PALIO SIENA ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL ■ Hostel Package 14-17 AUG £149 ✔ Florence ✔ Pisa ✔ Siena ✔ Coach transfers

■ All Italia Rome to Pisa ■ Palio to La Tom Odyssey

13-22 AUG 13-30 AUG

£529 £989

CROATIA CATEGORY A & A+ BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! AUG-SEP fr£439 ■ 7 NIGHTS WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Korcula ✔ Vela Luca ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac ■ CAT A+: AUG fr£479 SEP £499 ■ CAT A: AUG fr£439 GREEK

ISLANDS

GREEK ISLANDS

GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 Days £399 ■ 11 Days £489 Tours start in Athens every Sat JUL-AUG ✔ Mykonos ✔ Ios ✔ Santorini ✔ Paros ✔ Athens ✔ High speed ferries ✔ Breakfasts ✔ Fanatics Tour Rep ✔ Parties

CIAO ITALIA CHECK OUT THE BEST ITALY HAS TO OFFER! ■ 7 Days JUL-AUG £349

✔ Weekly departures ✔ Express train travel ✔ Rome ✔ Florence ✔ Cinque Terre ✔ Pisa ✔ Venice ✔ Milan

BEERFEST IN MUNICH! 21 SEP-8 OCT Choice of Munich’s BEST hostels, hotel & #1 party campsite!

■ Prague + Buda Fest 8 Days fr£329 ✔ Prague ✔ Budapest ✔ Salzburg / Vienna Thu-Tue fr£229 ■ 6 Days Coach Tours ✔ Return coach from London ✔ Camping or hostel Fri-Mon fr£129 ■ 4 Days Camping ✔ Twin or single tents ✔ Coach shuttles Fri-Mon fr£189 ■ 4 Days Hostel ✔ Choice of Munich’s top hostels Fri-Mon £329 ■ 4 Days Hotel ✔ Munich’s #1 Oktoberfest hotel!

Mid week camping & hostel options also available fr£99!

LA TOMATINA THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT! ■ Ibiza + La Tom Combos pre or post-La Tom ■ Barca + Ibiza + La Tom 23-30 AUG ■ Barca + La Tomatina 25-30 AUG ■ 4 Days Beach Camping 27-30 AUG ■ 4 Days Valencia Hostel 27-30 AUG ■ 3 Days Valencia Hotel 28-30 AUG

fr£399 £469 £259 £149 £189 £179

RUGBY UNION WALLABIES & ALL BLACKS COME TO EUROPE THIS NOVEMBER ■ AUS v FRANCE Paris SAT 10 NOV fr£169 ■ AUS v ENGLAND Twickenham SAT 17 NOV £85 ■ AUS v ITALY Italy SAT 24 NOV £139 ■ AUS v WALES Cardiff SAT 1 DEC £139 ■ NZ v WALES Cardiff SAT 24 NOV fr £149 ✔ Match tickets ✔ Accom ✔ Transfers ✔ Merchandise

HOGMANAY EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY ■ 3 Night Hostel & Hotel 30 DEC-2 JAN fr£239 ■ 4 Day Coach Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN fr£309 ✔ Accom ideally located in the absolute heart of town ✔ Street party pass ✔ Superb pubs, bars & clubs

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Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM 103

TNT_1509_travel.indd 103

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TRAVEL

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS WEEKEND BREAKS PARIS BY EUROSTAR

£225

from

Departs every week ( Friday - Sunday) throughout the summer. Return Eurostar travel & transfers, 2 nights B&B hotel accom, guided city sightseeing tour, plenty of free time & Tour Manager.

EDINBURGH BY RAIL

£170

from

EGYPTIAN EXPRESS Ancient Egypt at its very best in 9 intoxicating days!

7th September. Return train travel, guided sightseeing tour with a local Scottish guide, 2 nights B&B hotel accom & Tour Manager.

HOLLAND & BELGIUM

from

£171

10th August. Return coach & ferry travel, visit to Amsterdam & Brugge, B&B + dinner & free bar hotel accom.

AMSTERDAM & BRUGGE

from

£170

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BRILLIANT BANK HOLIDAY BREAKS Saturday 25th - Monday 27th August

PARIS BY EUROSTAR

from

£225

Tour Includes: Return Eurostar travel and return transfers, Guided sightseeing tour of Paris, Two nights B&B hotel accommodation, Services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager.

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from

£215

Tour Includes: Luxury coach travel, Return cross channel ferry crossings, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, all rooms ensuite, 2 course evening meals provided at the hotel including free bar 20.30hrs – 23.00hrs, Excursion to Brugge Plenty of free time to explore, Services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager.

ISLE OF WIGHT

from

egypt from only

9 day tour

£199

Egyptian Express fr £199 days Pyramids, Felucca, Luxor, Aswan - 9

£205

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Pyramids & Beache s fr £359 Ancient Egypt + Dahab by the Red Sea

DAY TRIPS

-15 days

¸ Sat 4th Aug Cambridge from £32 ¸ Sun 5th Aug Warwick Castle from £32 ¸ Sat 11th Aug York from £45 ¸ Sat 18th Aug Cotswolds from £40

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £50 with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included!

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BOOK ON ANDERSONTOURS.CO.UK OR CALL 0207 436 9304

Turkey - 12 day tour Croatia Sailing - 8 days Russia - 6 day tour Morocco - 15 day tour

from £449 from £319 from £449 from £799

Ph: 020 7471 6400 thegobus.com

104 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

TNT_1509_travel.indd 104

27/7/12 09:24:45

TRAVEL

2 1 0 2 T S E F R E B OKTO is yours! ce oi ch e Th T? H IG FL L? TE O H COACH? CAMP?

ator to Munich We are the largest UK oper 2 Sept - 7 Oct) and cover the entire fest (2 29 ✔ Coach tours from £2 from £99 ✔ Accom only camping £219 ✔ Hotel packages from Join the

PERTS at Munich’s BEERFEST EX odation – coach tours and last accomm

famousThalkirchen camp 00 PP SEATS ALREADY SOLD! 20 ER OV – Y RR HU t. fas g llin places fi

la toma tina 2012

JOIN PP AT THE CRAZI EST AND LARGEST FO OD

HURRY

– PP’s 2012 La Tom Tou

r has broken all sales

28 - 30 Aug Great value tours from just £145!

IT’S PARTY TIME IN

AMSTERDAM

record!! Contact asap

FIGHT IN THE WORLD

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* carrying a tonne of shopping and a suit took the seat I had been eyeing up since Bank. Shame on you! Pissed-off Lisa LIGHTWEIGHT LOSER: DC – catching a plane at 6am is no excuse for leaving all that vomit in the bath. I even had to clean lasagne off the door frame. Not cool, compadre. Learn to handle your liquor. Granny Garnish. xx LOST & FOUND: To the man that found my phone in the

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