TNT Magazine / Issue 1512

August 20-26 2012 Issue 1512 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

A PRIVATE SCREENING O F A FEW BEST M EN FOR 30 MATE S

HELL ON WHEELS Ryley Batt gets ready to storm the Paralympics

HUNGOVER IN PARADISE Rum tasting and sailing in Barbados

50 SHADES OF SHOCKED How to recreate the best bits of that book at home

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Y T R A P O T TIME

ank holiday b e th r e v o do of things to k ic p r u o d Carnival an + TOP 5 QUIRKY HOSTELS Notting Hill

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Our campsite atmosphere is second to none PLUS our Topdeck cooks will provide a fully cooked hot breakfast Stay in spacious, two person, pre-erected dome style tents Air mattresses are provided Return transport between campsite and Oktoberfest grounds Stay at the closest campsite to the Oktoberfest grounds Services of Topdeck Crew Oktoberfest information booklet

August bank holiday

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*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Notting Hill Carnival is expecting its biggest crowd this year, hoping to top one million dancing revellers for the two-day extravaganza. Turn to P30 for our map of what’s going on, where – as well as to find out which attractions you can’t miss. To pack even more into your long weekend, flick to P8, where we’ve got four pages packed with top events. Thinking of escaping? As ever, we’re packed with ideas. Turn to P61 for inspiration.

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

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MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

12 14-15

@TNT

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SPOTTED

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LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22-25

COMPETITION

26

54

CHATROOM STEPHAN ELLIOT 27 LONDON SCENE

28-29

Photos: Getty; Matt Risley

SPARE TIME

34

LIFESTYLE

35-45

SHOPPING

35

FEATURES LONG WEEEKEND ANTICS

8

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

From burlesque to horror, we’ve got your party-filled bank holiday sorted

CAREERS

38-39

CARNIVAL TIME

LIVING

44-45

NEWS & SPORT

46-59

We chat to some of the movers and groovers behind the Notting Hill Carnival

TRAVEL

61-86

DIARY

62

NEWS

63

LATE DEALS

66

HOTSHOTS

69

TOP FIVE

70,73

TIPS & STUFF

74-75

48 HOURS IN...BIRMINGHAM CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

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89-113 114

HELL ON WHEELS

30

30

54

Australian wheelchair rugby exponent Ryley Batt is aiming for a gold medal

IN THE AIR UP THERE

64

Take to the skies above Kent as you enjoy a spot of paramotoring

MAKE IT SCHNAPPY

76

Strap on a motorised propeller and get high in the skies above Kent

THE REAL RUM DIARY

82

Party among the locals in Barbados, just mind the hangover – it can be nasty

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social Media Dan Thorne DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke

LONDONDIARY

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Remember when Madonna was awesome?

Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

Shhh... SECRET LONDON GUILTY PLEASURES CINEMA PARTY THE TROXY

As Madge continues to piss everyone off – from Deadmau5 and President Putin, to those grumpy, soggy souls watching her strut and preen across the stage at Hyde Park a couple of weeks ago – remind yourself of the Material Girl’s heyday, with this twonight cinema party celebrating Desperately Seeking Susan, and all its shiny-gloved, New York City-styled, Eighties-fashion glory. There’ll be fancy dress, cabaret, live groups, dance-offs and one hell of a lot of audience participation in this Madonna movie party mash-up. £18.50

August 24-25. 8pm-2am 490 Commercial Road, W1 0HX

SPARE PARTS Originally on show in Brisbane in 2010, Priscilla Sutton’s prostheticsturned-art exhibition arrives in London in time for the Paralympic Games.

Originally conceived when Sutton gave limbs to her friends to design so she could hang them on the wall as decoration, this new show features 43 artists from across the world.

FREE

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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August 25-Sept 9.

Rag Factory, E1 5LJ Aldgate East ragfactory.org.uk

Limehouse

guiltypleasures.co.uk

BRITISH TEA PARTY

RITUALS URBAN OASIS

There’s only a couple of weeks left to enjoy the decidedly British tea party atop the glamorous Selfridges store. On the roof terrace, you can sup Earl Grey (or builders’, depending on your tastes), scoff sandwiches (with the crusts cut off) and, should you desire, indulge in a round of crazy golf. Fore!

Dispose of all that London stress with these free yoga, meditation and tai chi sessions in The City courtesy of Rituals. You can sign up for an hour-long session – or shorter, if you can’t get away from the rat race that long. Feel all that pent-up aggression just ebb away and return revitalised.

Highly recommended.

Until Sept 2. 12pm-6pm Selfridges, W1A 1AB Bond Street selfridges.com

Until Aug 24. 7.30am,12.30pm, 6pm Broadgate Exchange Square, EC2M 2QS Liverpool Street rituals.com

£6

FREE

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THE ULTIMATE PORK BBQ EXTRAVAGANZA The Leather Bottle

So what constitutes a pork extravaganza? Well, as the kind folk at Dingley Dell and this south London boozer are showcasing, it’s a six-course pork-tasting menu that includes, among its platters, a 14-hour hickory and cherry wood-smoked pulled-pork shoulder, cherry-smoked St Louis-style ribs with black-treacle glaze and a fantastic spit-roast pig. There’s special guest chefs, too, including World BBQ Championship finalist Andy Annat, drink pairings, and a live farmhouse band. £25

August 21. From 7pm 538 Garratt Lane, SW17 0NY

OUTDOOR THEATRE Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing gets a run out at 19thcentury Lauderdale House as part of the national tour of the Bard’s comedy by the Shooting Stars Theatre Company. The tea lawn provides the perfect setting for a picnic, and you can watch the sun set over Waterlow Park. £12

August 22-26. 7pm Lauderdale House, N6 5HG Archway lauderdalehouse.org

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Earlsfield

leatherbottlepub.co.uk

LIVE VIENNA ART Nine internationally renowned artists set up a studio in Grosvenor Gardens to create live works of art inspired by Vienna artist Gustav Klimt, to mark what would have been his 150th birthday. A giant screen will show their progress, and the creations will be on display from August 23 at Soho’s Lazarides Gallery.

FREE

August 21. 12pm-8pm Victoria SW1V 0BD grosvenor-gardens.co.uk

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LONDONNEWS

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OUCH! LONDON RENTS REACH RECORD HIGH It’s the news you’ve been dreading.

Rents in London are rising faster than anywhere else in the country.

Tenants’ monthly payouts soared to a staggering new high of £1057 last month, statistics show.

The increasing figures, released by lettings network LSL Property Services, were blamed on the “summer peak”. A spokesman added prices would continue to rise, adding: “Fierce competition for properties is enabling landlords to increase rental prices to new highs.”

The government needs to stop pussyfooting around Bolstered by his rise in popularity since the London Games Boris Johnson tells the government to make a decision over plans for a third runway at Heathrow airport

Dad dancing: TNT got a surprise visit from Robbie Williams (almost) when he turned up round the corner from our offices in Spitalfields, east London, to record his new video. Shame about the sweat patches

Support for Pussy Riot

Hundreds gather outside Russian embassy as band is jailed

ASSANGE HOLED UP IN LONDON EMBASSY Police surrounded the Ecuadorian embassy in Knightsbridge on Friday, after WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was granted political asylum.

Aussie Assange is wanted in Sweden over sexual assault charges, but claims it is politically motivated to ensure his extradition to the US where he is wanted for releasing diplomatic information. Police were on guard to stop Assange escaping.

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for freedom, and the women’s lawyer said she would appeal the decision.

The band’s supporters gathered around the world in solidarity with the women.

In London, Yana Melkumova, 30, from east London, told the Evening Standard: “It is all about freedom of speech and freedom of expression but as much as anything it is about the unlawful charges that they face.

“They have not done anything particularly criminal, I do not particularly love the piece they sang in church but it is not about that.”

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

London sites including the Beatles’ Abbey Road crossing, Lord’s Cricket Ground, Piccadilly Circus and Tower Bridge are some of the landmarks that will be visited by the Paralympic Flame.

Before then, each of the UK’s four capital cities will put on events to get people involved in the torch relay.

The English Flame will be used to light the ceremonial cauldron in Trafalgar Square on August 24.

The flames will rest at Paralympic celebrations in London, Belfast, Edinburgh and Cardiff before heading to Stoke Mandeville, the spiritual home of the Paralympic movement, where they will be united during a ceremony on August 28.

Get ready: British Paralympic basketball player Ade Adepitan

Photos: TNT; Getty

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It was the verdict they had been waiting for but didn’t want. More than 100 Pussy Riot supporters gathered outside the Russian embassy in London on Friday as the band were sentenced.

Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, Maria Alyokhina and Yekaterina Samutsevich were convicted for holding an anti-Putin “punk prayer” in Moscow’s Christ The Saviour Cathedral and were each jailed for two years, found guilty of “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred”.

Outside the court, protesters chanted

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Birds Of Paradise

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Weekend warriors It’s 2012’s last bank holiday. Leaving the house is mandatory, so peruse our line-up of London’s most life-enhancing events WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN The feathery mash-up that is Notting Hill Carnival and Clapham Common’s electro party, South West Four, are not your only options for the bank holiday. In fact, if you venture off the weekend’s traditional routes of mayhem, London will reward you.

Verbalesque, an all-day party at The Lexington on Monday, August 27 (2-11pm; tickets £5), is undoubtedly the most rock’n’roll way to spend your Bank Holiday. Hosted by post-punk legend of the Eighties and Nineties, hellraiser-turned-poet, Lydia Lunch, the party will be a mad whirl of performance, music and booze.

Downstairs in the Bourbon bar, the Tin Tone Army, a 15-strong squad playing handmade tin guitars, will cause a absolute ruckus on their converted biscuit tins.

Upstairs, French-Australian female trio We Are Birds Of Paradise and New South Wales’s Steve Smyth will perform while a man in a diving suit hands out shots of rum. Drifting around the animal-skull-covered, flock-wallpapered venue, curator Lunch will be master of ceremonies, announcing bands,

performing songs and spitting out spoken word.

Lexington owner, Stacey Thomas, who hails from Perth, has no qualms about recommending Verbalesque as the best way to spend your treasured long weekend.

“I’d avoid Notting Hill Carnival at all costs,” she says. “This will be a lot cooler. It’ll be really different to Notting Hill, though; much more rock ‘n’roll with a burlesque-indie vibe.”

With rumours of some big names dropping in to play with the Tin Tone Army, a mouth-watering choice of American craft beers and, if the weather hold out, a BBQ, who are we to argue? Get amongst it.

Under the radar in another sense is the UK’s biggest horror festival, Film 4’s FrightFest, which takes place over five days (Aug 23-27; weekend day passes £54), with the Empire Cinema in London’s West End invaded by worshippers of all things horror. Backto-back screenings jostle with personal appearances, signings and talks as zombified patrons queue for popcorn.

FrightFest organiser, author and

connoisseur of cinema’s darkest realms, Alan Jones, is eagerly anticipating this year’s festival. “Saturday will be the world premiere of the neo-giallo [a genre of mystery-paranoia-slasher horror] Tulpa,” he says. “I adore director Federico Zampaglione and his superstar wife Claudia Gerini and can’t wait to introduce them on stage.”

The festival will be chocka with hardcore horror film fanboys and girls from all walks of life, aged from 18-80, about half of whom will have weekend passes to sit through several days of terror. It’s a welcoming scene, though.

“When you get the horror bug, it clings to you forever,” Jones says.

“Someone told me that they wish they could see every horror release with their FrightFest family because it enhances the viewing pleasure. I took that as the best compliment ever.”

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MORE LONG WEEKEND EVENTS ›› Verbalesque, The Lexington N1 9JB Angel/ King’s Cross thelexington.co.uk Film 4 Frightfest Empire Cinema, WC2H 7NA Leicester Square frightfest.co.uk

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Lydia Lunch will appear at Verbalesque

Before Dawn at Frightfest

Cockneys vs Zombies at FrightFest

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RONNIE CHIENG: THE RON WAY SOHO

EGYPTIAN AFTERLIFE AUGMENTED TRAIL HOLBORN

Melbourne-based comedian Ronnie Chieng is still buzzing from winning the Melbourne Comedy Festival Best Newcomer Award this year.

Now he’s bringing his show to the UK and you can begin your Bank Holiday with some cerebral laughs.

Use your mobile phone to follow an augmented reality trail around the museum and solve clues about the ancient Egyptian Book Of The Dead, a 1550BC text that contains magic spells to assist a dead person’s journey through the underworld. You never know when this knowledge might come in handy.

£15

Aug 13-Aug 25. 9.15pm Soho Theatre, W1D Leicester Square sohotheatre.com

FREE

BOOKSTOCK: LEONARD STREET PARTY SHOREDITCH

Sat, Aug 25. 11.30am-3.30pm British Museum, WC1B 3DG Tottenham Court Road britishmuseum.org

Don’t let the slightly worthy name put you off, the Bookstock street party, put on by The Book Club, will not be the least bit studious. During the day, the street will be taken over by DJs, bands, food stands, cocktails, fancy dress and more. After dark, head to the basement for a glow-in-the-dark neon Nineties ping-pong rave.

FREE

Sun, Aug 26. 12pm-8pm The Book Club, 100 Leonard St, EC2A Old St, Shoreditch High St wearetbc.com

ZOMBIE SOUNDSYSTEM SHOREDITCH

FESTIVAL OF FLOWERS SOUTHWARK

If a Bank Holiday for you means an extra day of debauchery, then this all-dayer may fit your bill.

Deep house and techno will be pumping and, in the unlikely event you are hungry, there will be a BBQ.

Need a break from hedonism? Take a tranquil drift around Southwark cathedral, which will be filled with flowers in designs overseen by top florist Mig Kimpton. Money goes to a Leprosy Mission.

Sun, Aug 26. 2pm-2am Cargo, EC2A 3AY Old St, Liverpool St cargo-london.com

Aug 23-26. 10am Southwark Cathedral, SE1 9DA London Bridge tlmewfestivalofflowers.org.uk

THE TANKS: ART IN ACTION SOUTHWARK

CARNEGIE CUP FINAL WEMBLEY

Have a gander at Tate Modern’s new space, The Tanks. For 15 weeks, these huge, industrial spaces offer a line-up of performance and events.

This noisy event is one of the biggest dates on the rugby league calendar, so if you haven’t had your fill of sports with the Olympics, get yourself to Wembley Stadium.

Europe’s biggest celebration of Mauritian culture will attempt to capture the atmosphere of a Mauritian party, albeit without the palm trees. Mauritian musical stars will perform and there will be traditional food and cocktails galore.

There will also be a huge funfair, if you feel like being a kid. Last year, more than 10,000 people attended and organisers are expecting this year to be even busier.

July 18-Oct 28. 10am Tate Modern, Bankside, SE1 9TG Southwark tate.org.uk

Sat, Aug 25. 2.30pm Wembley Stadium, HA9 0WS Wembley Park thechallengecup.com

Sun, Aug 26. 12pm-8pm Down Lane Park, N17 9EY Tottenham Hal mauritianopenair.com

FREE

BRIXTON WINDMILL OPEN DAY BRIXTON A totter off busy Brixton Hill, the Brixton Windmill, set in its own gardens, has something surreal about it. In 1816, the mill was powered by wind but was later adapted to steam to accommodate the public’s growing desire for white bread. Even in 1917, this was a rural area and the mill was described at the time as “approached by a small roadway over which nods acacias, limes and lots of fowl.” Find out more on the windmill’s open day.

FREE

Aug 26. On the hour and halfhour from 1pm to 3.30pm Windmill Gardens, SW2 5BZ Brixton brixtonwindmill.org

10

FREE

£14

£21

MAURITIAN OPEN AIR FESTIVAL TOTTENHAM HALE £6.50

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BACK TO THE FUTURE TRILOGY SCREENING LEICESTER SQUARE Hang out with Marty McFly all the way from his 1985 meeting with Doc Brown and trip back to 1955, through to his 1855 rescue of Doc from Buford ‘Mad Dog’ Tannen.

Pile in popcorn, wear your high-tops and revel in nostalgia. The UK’s only non-subsidised repertory cinema, Prince Charles is independent of all film distribution companies.

Great for both blockbusters and indies on a budget.

PLANT IDENTIFICATION AND EATING FINSBURY PARK

£20

Mon, Aug 27. 4.45pm 7 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BY Leicester Square princecharlescinema.com

Ever wished you could wander into your garden, tear a bunch of fresh salad from the earth and devour it? If so, pop along to this class and get acquainted with 18 easy-to-grow edible plants, which you will eat later, along with samples of preserved local foods, including pestos and fruit leathers. As an alternative to paying the cover fee, you can volunteer for a day at a Transition Finsbury Park project. £13

FLOATING MARKET LITTLE VENICE Barges and narrowboats line the canal that cuts through picture-postcard Little Venice. Selling food, antiques, books, vintage clothes, jewellery and many more wallet-emptying temptations, the Bangkok-meets-London floating market moves to Little Venice as the Paralympics begin. Great if the weather’s nice.

FREE

Fri, Aug 25. 11am Edible Landscapes, N4 2NQ Finsbury Park, Manor House transitionfinsburypark.org.uk

Aug 20-Sept 2. 10am-8am Regent’s Canal, W9 2PB Warwick Ave floatingmarket.co.uk

PROM 59: THE BROADWAY SOUND KENSINGTON

JAPANESE-STYLE TAPAS COOKERY SHOREDITCH

A high-octane orchestra presents a tribute to the composers who created the Broadway Sound. Musical fans will recognise excerpts from Show Boat, On Your Toes, Kiss Me, Kate and Annie Get Your Gun.

Learn to make delicacies, such as seared tuna with avocado and ponzu jelly, topped with garlic chips and chili.

At the end of the class, you can taste your creations with a complimentary glass of wine.

Mon, Aug 27. 8pm Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP South Kensington bbc.co.uk/proms

Fri, Aug 24. 7pm-9.30pm The Grocery, E2 8DP Old Street atsukoskitchen.com

KNOCKOUT KNICKERS ISLINGTON

HURLY BURLY SHOW WESTMINSTER

Make your own fancy pants at this knicker-sewing session.

Choose your fabric, learn to measure your booty, then embellish those bloomers with ribbons, roses and more.

Bawdy musical fun with burlesque acts, speciality variety artists and fabulous costumes. Directed

by William Baker, who’s worked with the likes of Kylie and Rihanna.

Apparitions and optical illusions are presented in this series of story-telling black and white photographs. Sanges’ work is a dream-like imaginary cinema in which voyeurism, sexuality and costume, danger and play are explored. The exhibition includes installations and a collaboration with Agent Provocateur. Sanges’ work is dramatic, disturbing and probably fun on acid.

Sat, Aug 25. 10.30am-1pm 41½ Barnsbury Street, N1 1TP Highbury & Islington, Angel themakelounge.com

Until Sept 22. Times vary Duchess Theatre, WC2B 5LA Temple, Holborn, Leicester Sq duchess.official-theatre.co.uk

Until Sept 30. 11am-5pm Proud Galleries, NW1 8AH Chalk Farm proudcamden.com

£13

GAY SPORTS DAY VAUXHALL Let the Handbag Toss, the 50m mince and the Space Hopper relay commence. Sandwiched between the Olympics and Paralympics, Gay Sports Day promises “those with pitifully little training the chance to walk off with a champion’s cup”. Don fancy dress and join in or go along and lend your support from the sidelines. Money raised goes to GMFA (the gay men’s health charity) and Vauxhall community projects.

Photos: Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

FREE

Mon, Aug 27. 1pm Pleasure Gardens, SE11 Vauxhall gmfa.org.uk

£49

£55

£30

PHANTASMAGORIA: PHOTOGRAPHS BY MARCO SANGES CAMDEN FREE

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MYLONDON

K E E P MISSING YOUR

TNT?

NICK CRISPINI OWNER OF ANTICO RESTAURANT & BAR What baffles me about London is there are lots of people here that don’t want to be here, the people that only come for work and don’t take advantage of the constant buzz of excitement the city has to offer. If you’re sick of London, you’re sick of life.

London’s best-kept secret is Bermondsey Street!

When I want to chill out I go to Wandsworth. I have a few friends in the area and the pubs are very laidback.

The most interesting person I’ve met is my ex-employer Theo Randall – he has such a passion for what he does and I strive to keep that same amount of passion in my restaurant.

My favourite place for a drink is Callooh Callay, in Shoreditch – amazing cocktails in a bohemian atmosphere that never ceases to amaze me. For a simple beer, I’m very loyal to my local – Woolpack, in Bermondsey Street.

For when you’re hungover in London, have another drink. No, but really – you can’t beat a spicy Bloody Mary from the Riding House Café, in Great Titchfield Street.

What gets me up in the morning is the thought that my restaurant might be on fire or something ridiculous … (it never actually is. Knock on wood!).

My perfect weekend would feature dinner and cocktails with friends on Friday evening. A nice lie-in, then a bite to eat from Borough Market and a live game of football, preferably Arsenal, on Saturday. On Saturday night, it’d be a bit of a dance party. A lazy lunch and a film on Sunday.

The last naughty thing I did was flirt with customers to increase business!

Five words that sum up London ... Vibrant. Contradictory. Layered.

Surprising. Home.

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SEND DAD THE GIFT HE REALLY WANTS THIS FATHER’S DAY. Remember your Dad back home in Australia with our Online Gift Guide.

Featuring a huge selection of hand-picked beer, wine and spirits, our Father’s Day Online Gift Guide is the perfect way to find the perfect gift for Dad. And what’s more, any product ordered from our Online Gift Guide will be delivered free in Australia.

Visit danmurphys.com.au and place your order by Sunday 26 August for guaranteed metro delivery† in Australia.

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Options aplenty at the Exhibit

BAR THE SCENE A stone’s throw from Balham station, this trendy-yet-unpretentious bar packs a host of alternatives into its three-floor layout. Downstairs is a spacious area with a long-stretch bar, high-rise tables, as well as a number of more cosy and intimate booths; the first floor houses the American diner; and the second floor has the cinema, which shows a range of current and cult movies across its diverse programme.

THE GRUB As well as steak, ribs and chicken mains, the diner has 17 burgers to choose from, our pick being the truly epic Juggernaut, a double beef bonanza with extra emmental cheese, bacon, and onion rings.

BEHIND THE BAR In keeping with the ‘American experience’, there’s a range of cocktails, including five alco-free ones, too. Cocktails are available by the glass or pitcher, and feature the usual (Mai Tai) alongside the more salaciously titled (a pitcher of Porn Star!), with wines and draught beers and lagers, too.

BILL PLEASE Appetisers from £3; mains from £6.50; desserts from £3.90; lagers from £3.50; wine from £5.50 a glass; cocktails and shakes from £7.

VERDICT With a decent array of drinks, it’s a lively venue on a Friday night, but also has scope for those seeking a quieter night. The cheesy-but-satisfying diner means you can eat first, then move downstairs for some late-night drinks. AM

12 Balham Station Road, SW12 9SG

3 OF THE BEST ROOFTOP BARS

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theexhibit.co.uk

Balham

DALSTON ROOF PARK PROUD CAMDEN

VISTA TRAFALGAR

Looking more like a garden than a bar, this summer pop-up has plenty of grass, plants, and brightly coloured chairs to help you step away from London’s hustle and bustle. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Located right in Trafalgar Square, this rooftop bar offers stunning views of the London Eye, Big Ben and the National Gallery. Drinks run a little on the pricey side, but they’re worth every penny for the incredible, er, vista.

bootstrapcompany.co.uk

Proud Camden mixes its original stable décor with a modern, artistic flair.

Changing from a restaurant during the day to a livemusic venue at night, it offers spectacular views of the markets from its terrace. proudcamden.com

thetrafalgar.com

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BITE SIZE

Gilgamesh: quality

HEAD TO THE NORTH POLE If you’re hankering after a decent craft beer, you’ll need to head to the North Pole ... the newly opened pub in Islington, that is.

The venue also specialises in real ale and ciders with 22 on draught and 30 by the bottle, from independent suppliers.

The stylish and contemporary interior features an intimate alfresco courtyard and a retro games room.

Look out for quirky collectables, sourced from Kempton Park Fair, including a seven-inch jukebox. thenorthpolepub.co.uk

GILGAMESH PAN ASIAN

DON’T BE A HAS BEAN

THE SCENE

Forget all this fancy dining and go back to your roots. Celebrating all things beans, Heinz is launching a popup restaurant for one day only.

In celebration of a new beans product, they’re hosting a ‘Tea Party for Grown Upz’, where you can experience a new take on beans on toast.

Inviting you to “re-embrace and relive the tastes and memories of childhood”, the event takes place on Thurs, Sept 6, at 5pm and 7.30pm at the Observation Point, South Bank.

THE GRUB

heinz.co.uk

TUK CHO SUMMER DEAL Tuck into two Southeast Asian meals for the price of one at Ealing’s Tuk Cho until Sept 4.

Boasting Thai, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Malaysian, Japanese and Indonesian dishes, relive your travels on the cheap.

Simply visit the restaurant’s website, print off the voucher, and present it when you dine there. Easy.

Gilgamesh was the fifth ruler of modern day Iraq, and this opulent Camden restaurant would have certainly been more than fit for him – or any king for that matter. Low lighting, candlelit tables, sofas featuring rich red fabrics and carved scenes of ancient Babylon lend an air of romance to this massive establishment.

There’s also a fully retractable roof, enabling guests to dine beneath blue skies in the afternoon and starry skies in the evening. It’s an impressive scene.

It’s often hard to find excellent gyoza, but Gilgamesh’s chicken foie gras offering is perfect: soft, filling and not too oily. The garlic chive mushrooms and prawn har gau dim sum are equally excellent. However, it’s not quite enough, so we order the chef’s selection of sashimi, which arrives atop a bowl of dry ice that coats our table in a fine mist. It’s a nice touch to a fresh and satisfying dish. For the main course, the beef bulgogi is cooked to perfection – no need for a steak knife here, the meat peeling away at the slightest carve, complemented perfectly by a Japanese chive mash and a sweet bulgogi sauce. My date plumps for the moreish free-range chicken poached in masterstock and smoked with Lap Song Souchon tea. It’s a massive dish and despite her best attempts, she can’t complete it.

That’s not a bad thing, though. Dessert brings the exceptional banana and toffee crumble with cinnamon ice cream, the perfect end to a perfect meal. Our waiter is a true professional: always attentive, never annoying. Leaving here is tough.

A huge list of traditional and custom cocktails created by skilled mixologists. There’s also a good selection of both old and new world wines.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £4.95; mains from £15.50; dessert from £7.55. Cocktails from £10.50; wine from £5/£19.50; beer from £4.20.

VERDICT Gilgamesh provides an evening fit for royalty, but doesn’t demand a king’s ransom for it. Treat yourself, you won’t be disappointed. JAHN VANNISSELROY BEHIND THE BAR

tukcho.co.uk The Stables Market, NW1 8AH

gilgamesh.com

Chalk Farm

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‘What do you mean you never really liked The Mars Volta?’

festival

watch

GREENBELT

AT THE DRIVE-IN Brixton Academy, 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL TUES, AUG 28 | DOORS AT 7PM | £35

Asian Dub Foundation, Charlie Simpson (below), Frank Skinner and Speech Debelle are just a handful of the acts at this arts, faith and justice festival that has been going for more than 40 years. It has a vibe unlike most other festivals you’ll encounter this year, with a healthy line-up of musical acts rubbing shoulders with comedy and theatre acts, and talks and debates to challenge the mind, too, instead of just getting off your head for three days straight.

Cheltenham Racecourse, GL50 4SH. £120. Aug 24-27 Cheltenham Spa greenbelt.org.uk

They were one of the most influential, ground-breaking bands of the past 15 years, their legacy coming to define the post-hardcore landscape, as well as land the band on various ‘best albums of the last year/decade/all-time’ lists for their swansong Relationship Of Command. After an 11-year absence, and much speculation, the El Paso five-piece are back for this highly anticipated reunion.

Peaking critically and commercially with 2000’s Command, Drive-In were a law unto themselves – a cacophonous, speaker-stock leaping ball of energy, tunes, and searing self-confidence. It was a recipe never captured by any of their post-breakup units; guitarist Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and singer Cedric BixlerZavala ventured forth into the prog-dementia of The Mars Volta, with sets filled with no more than a handful of extended jams, and the others into the more formulaic Sparta. Since Drive-In disbanded back in 2001, just three albums to their name, none of the various side projects was ever viewed as anything more than stop-gaps until they all got back to their day jobs.

Despite this reunion, though, there’s no official word on new material, with various members saying it will definitely, not in a million years, ever, ever happen.

Then again, several of them said the likelihood of them sharing a stage again and tearing through One Armed Scissor and the likes was equally far-fetched, so you never know. At The Drive-In have just this one UK show ahead of their Reading/ Leeds festival appearances next weekend, so catch them while you can.

Brixton

o2academybrixton.co.uk

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NEW BAND

BUSH GIG THURS, AUG 30. 7.30PM £27.50

No matter how hard they tried, selling millions of copies of their debut in the US never translated into credibility for these grunge-apeing west London boys. Frontman Gavin Rossdale and the odd surving original member are back, playing Nineties classics and tracks from 2011’s The Sea Of Memories.

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

WAREHOUSE PRESENTS...

BASS HEAVY

CLUB

CLUB

AUG 25-26. 11PM-7AM £10+

SUN, AUG 26. 9PM-6AM £20

The launch night for this newly refurbed venue – which puts light and sound atop its priority list to ensure an unsurpassable experience boating warehouse energy without the usual drawbacks – is headlined by Kerri Chandler, with Colin Chiddle, Jaxx, Alex Champman, Rob Charles and Ollie Gibson in support.

One Nation and Innovation present London’s biggest drum ‘n’ bass night this summer with Hazard, TC, Original Sin, Magistrate, Sub Zero, Grooverider and more. There’s a kick-ass sound system, too, as well as a vibrating dancefloor and stunning light shows to make this an even bigger night than last year’s full-on event.

Warehouse Unit H9, 35 Harbert Road, N18 3HT Tottenham Hale warehouseldn.com

Proud 2 Peninsula Square, SE10 0DY North Greenwich proud2.com

STARLIGHT THEATRE THE BUZZ SO FAR Like Jimmy Eat World in their softer moments, giving you a great big hug, with an emo hoody pulled snug over their head, Brisbane’s Starlight Theatre are an indie-rock group in touch with their emotions. They channel this into the genuinely affecting and touching three-minute nuggets that make up their soon-to-be released EP, Castles, Clocks And Cathedrals, which was recorded with famed producer Magoo (Powderfinger, Midnight Oil).

THE CRITICS SAY “An emerging Brisbane rock band to watch.”

ReviewedMusic.com

Photos: Getty

THE PLUG EP Castles, Clocks and Cathedrals is out September 10 through Universal.

THE GUILLEMOTS

WE FEAR SILENCE: JEFF MILLS & JAMES RUSKIN

LESS THAN JAKE

GIG

CLUB

GIG

TUES, AUG 28. 7PM FREE

SAT, AUG 25. 10PM-6AM £15

THURS, AUG 23. 7PM £20

Fyfe Dangerfield and his cohorts have decided, ambitiously, to shun the record-tour merry-goround in favour of relocating to rural Norway to write not one, but four records – each one inspired by the changing of the seasons. Their second LP from this endeavour will be available to buy at this free in-store gig, too.

Cable gets the bank holiday weekend off to a bang with this night of ‘future-facing techno’, featuring two of its biggest stars: tech-legend Jeff Mills, who is celebrating 20 years of his Axis label, and Blueprint’s James Ruskin, on hand for a night of extended sets and uncompromising techno genius.

The ska-punkers, who started touring the globe together back in 1992, are less a household commodity than they once were, but their desire to create top skanking tunes has not dimmed.

Favouring EPs over albums now, their latest being February’s Seasons Greetings From Less Than Jake, the boys hit Camden tonight.

Rough Trade East 91 Brick Lane, E1 6QL Aldgate East roughtrade.com

Cable 33 Bermondsey Street Tunnel, SE1 3JW London Bridge cable-london.com

Barfly 2 Haverstock Hill, NW3 2BL Chalk Farm barflyclub.com

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CLUBLISTINGS MONDAY 20 Frenchkiss Resident DJs play soul, reggae, R‘n’B, hip-hop, funky house and dance. Storm, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7LE (020 7839 2633).

10.30pm-2am. Free guestlist.

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Night Life In London Resident DJs spin funky house and dance.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

BOOK NOW!

Rockit Science Balearic Bank Holiday Balearic house and disco courtesy of The Cosmonauts, Steve Brennan, The 101Connection, Ryu Rockit and Souledge. The Lockside Lounge, West Yard Dock, NW1 8AF (020 7284 0007). 6pm-3am. Free.

Jam Hot Resident DJs play reggae, roots, Americana, R‘n’B and dub, plus live performances from Two Steps Twice and CanYouFelix. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. Free.

Rehab DJ Haley, Zoe D emonette, Dan Udy and Malarky supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 9.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk, salsa and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028).

9pm-late £7, concs £4.

Service Industry Night Colin Russell and Donald Sweeneey provide R‘n’B, hip-hop and chart. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm3am. £7, £5 before midnight, w/ payslip Free before midnight.

TUESDAY 21 Aquila Resident DJs play house, hip-hop, electro and dubstep. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. £12, guestlist £8.

Balearic Resident DJs spin deep, vocal and Balearic house to evoke the spirit of Ibiza.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, guestlist Free.

Spangulation 10th Birthday Party DJs play hard dance and trance. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm7am. £10, £8 before midnight.

DEVIATION 5TH BIRTHDAY A secret London location. Wed, Oct 3. £15 Detroit house icon Moodyman heads this bash, which also features electro hip-hop star Hudson Mohawke and Benji B (above), at a secret location.

TBC

TBC

residentadvisor.net/to/brokenanduneven

WEDNESDAY 22 Cheapskates Resident DJs and guests supply indie, electro and old-school vibes.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3.30am. w/flyer £4.50.

Cheezy Thursdays DJs Watty Jnr OBE and Back 2 Basic Sound spin R‘n’B, chart, dance and retro. Porky’s Wine Bar, Sternhold Ave, SW2 4PA (020 8671 3424). 9pm2am. £5, free before midnight.

Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist NUS/w/flyer £3, NUS £4.

Disco Paradise Jo Public plays rare groove, disco, soul and rock ‘n’ roll. Joiners Arms, Hackney Rd, E2 7QL (020 7739 9397). 11pm-2am. Free.

Canvas Wall EP Launch Rock, pop and indie courtesy of resident DJs. The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993).

7.30pm-11.30pm. Free.

Punk On Wednesday DJ Hugo Allon provides electronica and dance beats. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004).

9pm-late. £5, free before 11pm.

Distrikt Paul Barkworth and HowYin supply retro dance, re-edits, disco and house music.

Bar Music Hall, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AR (020 7729 7216).

9pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.

White Leather Viper Club Italo disco and obscure classics courtesy of PoP Campaign and White Leather Viper. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 9pm-3am. Free.

Electric Resident DJs play reggae, rock, folk and R‘n’B, plus live performances from Anti-Babylon 5, Tin Palace, Rangoon, Don Robson And The Lyrics and Angela Ashby.

Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). 8pm-2am, 7pm. £5.

Forro Resident DJs spin Baile funk, house, urban Latin, reggaeton and pop, plus live music.

Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 9pm-late. £5.

Model Party DJ Joel Corry spins house, R‘n’B and pop, plus host Chloe Goodman. Aura, St. James’s St, SW1A 1JT (020 7499 9999). 10pm3am. £20, ladies free before 10.30pm.

Ruby Tuesdays Pop, R‘n’B and 1980s hits from Sandra D and Joe Grohl.Ku Bar, Lisle St, WC2H 7BA (020 7437 4303). 9pm-3am. Free.

22

THURSDAY 23 Globetronica Resident DJs and guests spin house, dub, broken beat, and world beats. The Player, Broadwick St, W1F 8HN (020 7494 9125). 8pm-2am.

Road To Nowhere Psychedelia and electronica courtesy of Rhys (The Horrors), plus a live set from The Skywalkers. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 9pm-2am. £3.

Vibe DJs including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, garage and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm.

Whatever Happended To P-Rock?

Resident DJs spin punk and ska, plus live performances from Saves The Day, Crazy Arm and Tellison. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 7.30pm-late. £10.

The World Famous Beat Junkies DJs Babu, J.Rocc, Melo-D and Rhettmatic spin hip-hop and rap. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). 7pm-late. £12.50.

Young Offenders Institute Funk, soul, hip-hop, classic rock and electronica courtesy of Young Offenders DJs, plus ping pong.

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). 7pm-11pm. Free.

Your Mum’s House Resident DJs spin pop and disco. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). 9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight. Free before 10.30pm.

FRIDAY 24 Bodymove DJs Dave Angel, Omid 16B and Tim Cullen spin house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm-7am. £20, mems £13, NUS/Adv £10.

Fort Augustus Dub Reggae, dub and roots courtesy of Jah Youth, Iration Steppas and Aba-Shanti-I. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 10pm-6am. £12.

The Gallery Box, Hardwell, Robbie Rivera, Kryder and 103 supply trance and electronica.

The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010).

10.30pm-6am. £14, mems £11.

London Vs Rio: Summer Carnival DJs D Vyzor and Moishe spin samba, Latin, funk and house, plus a live performance from Paraiso School Of Samba. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £10 after 9pm.

Musiq Concrete Presents DJs Alex Tepper, Leftwing And Kody, David Bevan, Du Bois and Shardai spin house and techno. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 8pm3am, doors. £10, free before 10pm.

What Happens Next? Carnival Weekend Special DJs James Zabiela, NiCe7, Alex Arnout and Jolyon spin house and techno. 12 Acklam Rd, Acklam Rd, W10 5QZ .

11pm-4.30am. Adv £15 & £20, see www.residentadvisor.net for details.

SATURDAY 25 Dc7 & Angles Of Love Presents Wow! DJs Francois K, Carlo Lio, Uto Karem, Gianni Scotto, Tony Dee, Anderson Noise, Chase Buch, Joe Le Groove, Diego cK Family and Antonio Pepe spin house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-11am. mems £15-£20, adv £13-£15.

G-Spot Events 100th Party! DJs Guy Hennigan and Corrina Greyson spin soul, funk, Latin and R‘n’B, plus live performances from The Fantastics, The Coalminers, New St Adventure and Strutter.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). 7.30pm-3am. £10.

Legends Garage and old skool courtesy of DJ Luck And MC Neat, Wesley Jay, Benny Major, Garmzie, Jay Enna, Tuesday, Sponge, Mendy and Bouncy B, plus live performances from Crazy Cousinz, Flirta D, Maxwell D, Coldsteps, Funky Dee, Gracious K and Gods Gift.

The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). 10pm-4am. £10.

South West Four 2012 Saturday’s line-up for the dance music festival includes Chase & Status, Carl Cox, Knife Party, Benny Benassi, Erick Morillo, Paul Van Dyk, Markus Schulz, Gareth Emery, John Digweed, Joris Voorn, Ame, Guy Gerber and Robert Babicz appearing across various stages, while Skrillex, Public Enemy, Skream And Benga, Diplo, DJ Fresh, 2 Many DJs, Eric Prydz, Simian Mobile Disco, Erol Alkan, Green Velvet, Pete Tong, Sasha, Seth Troxler, Maya Jane Coles, Andy C, Flux Pavilion and Jack Beats perform on Sunday.

Clapham Common, SW4 0AA. noon-10pm. Also Sun, day ticket £45, weekend ticket £85, see www. southwestfour.com for details.

Summer Slam 2012-The Carnival Special DJ Spoony, Booker T, Matt Jam Lamont, Mark Radford, Lady T and guests provide garage, house, R‘n’B, hip-hop, ragga, soca and Afrobeats. Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613).

10pm-6am. £10, adv £8.50.

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SW4 Official After Party The Real Tony Montana, Gavyn Mytchel, Hilton Caswell, Olivier Garth, Adio-Vita, Smash Box, Filipe Neves and Southern Kaos play house music. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 1pm-2am. Free.

Urban Nerds Breakage And MC Wrec, The Heatwave, Sunship And MC RB plus guests supply drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 10pm-6am. £10.

Vagabondz Carnival Warm-Up Party DJs Congo Natty, The Bug featuring Flowdan And Daddy Freddy, Channel One, General Levy, Lady Chann, Tenor Fly, Nanci And Phoebe, Congo Dubz, 2nice and Marf spin reggae, dub, dancehall and drum ‘n’ bass. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 9pm-3am. £12.

Work The Box Deep house music courtesy of Giom, Steve Mill, Toni C and Manish. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-7am. £5-£8.

SUNDAY 26 Bass Heavy 2012 DJs Hazard, TC, Original Sin, Majistrate, Subzero, Grooverider, Sly, Phantasy, Ruffstuff, Randall, Bryan Gee, Brockie, Frost, Nicky Blackmarket, Uncle Dugs, Devious D, Kezman and Dribz spin drum ‘n’ bass and jungle, plus MCs Skibadee, The Ragga Twins, Navigator, Moose, Element and Sloffee. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070). 11pm-5am. £20.

The Hot Caribbean Carnival Reggae, dub and dancehall courtesy of Sun Bailante, plus a live performance from Lil Rick.

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). 11pm-6am. £10.

Promised Land Best Of British Summer Closing Party DJs Mr C, Fabio, Evil Eddie Richards, K-Klass, Kid Batchelor, Arkoss, Special K, Mario Cee, Jon Russel, Shaff Batch, Twisted Underground and Marek Laban spin house, old skool, jungle and hardcore. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

2pm-7pm. Adv £18, £15 before 10pm.

Secretsundaze Go Bang! DJs Matthew Herbert, Four Tet, Motor City Drum Ensemble, Brawther, James Priestley, Giles Smith, Arkist, Sei A, Ill Blu, DjRUM, Al Tourettes, Citizen and Photomachine spin house, techno and electronica, plus Sven Weisemann and Wbeeza perform live. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). noon-10.30pm. Adv £22.50.

SW4 Official After Party House and dance courtesy of The Wallaci Bros, Justin Haywood, Hilton Caswell, Garth Hill, Dean Grittiths, The Real Tony Montana, Marcus Wallace and James Blackmore. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 1pm-2am. Free.

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FINAL 1512 Club Listings.indd 22

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Bowled Over The sun’s come out and we figured it’s time for a barbie, some tunes and a roll on the lawn

lawn bowls tournament Grab a bunch of mates and head down for an afternoon of barefoot bowls

bodeans BBQ

For the rib-licious experience, we smoke it low cook it slow

dj live entertainment All day entertainment till late

Our first ever Barefoor Bowls event Tickets

£5

Book N

ow!

When: Sunday Sept 9 - From Midday Southwark Sports Bowls Club, SE21 7EU

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MONDAY 20 Dru Blu, Davinche, English Frank, Stylo G, Al Hip-hop, rap and urban music by the London-based singer, Don Strapzy. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £5.

Less Than Jake, Apologies, I Have None The American sixpiece plays ska-punk. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £20.

BOOK NOW!

Mick Thomas And Squeezebox Wally Contemporary folk by the Australian singer-songwriter and accompanying musician.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £12.

Clare Free Band The singersongwriter and band play country-tinted blues-rock.

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

Aiden Grimshaw, Dub Ratz, PW, Macca, Jacob Banks The singersongwriter from Blackpool and finalist on the 2010 series of the X Factor performs pop Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £12, guestlist £8.

Damien Jurado, Megafaun The singer-songwriter and guitarist from Seattle, Washington, plays laid back and ethereal indie and folk-rock in support of his album Maraqopa.

Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). £14.

Kasabian, Band Of Skulls, KAV The award-winning Leicesterformed outfit plays attitudedriven indie-rock with electronic influences. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £30.

Trembling Bells, The Magnetic Mind, Hidden Masters The Glasgow-based four-piece performs contemporary folk and country. The Victoria, Queensbridge Rd, E8 3AS (020 7275 1711). £10.

Frank Turner, Billy Bragg, Friendly Fires, Miles Kane, Steve Craddock The singer-songwriter from Meonstoke and former frontman of post-hardcore band Million Dead plays folk-punk in support of his album England Keep My Bones. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £30.

TUESDAY 21 Blades, File Under Fiction, The Mojo Filters, MoCara The band plays post-punk and alt rock.

Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £6, concs £4.50.

Mike Brightley Acoustica from the London-based singer-songwriter.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £5.

Allman Brown, Andrew Long, Hattie Whitehead, Richard Burrel The London-based singersongwriter plays soulful pop.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

The Wailing Souls Contemporary reggae from the Jamaican duo with an album called Bread And Pipe to promote. Hootananny, Effra Rd, SW2 1DF (020 7737 7273). £20.

FRIDAY 24

THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM Brixton Academy. Mon, Oct 15. £21 New Jersey Boss-loving punks bring their latest, Handwritten, to town with Brighton’s own Blood Red Shoes in support for a night of rock‘n’roll.

SW9 9SL

Brixton

o2academybrixton.co.uk

Electric Giants, Willowen, LowZNoise, The Peregrines, The Alleys, Whistleblowers Dance music outfit from London.

Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Elephant 12, In Search Of, Rozen Child, The Dark Tides Electro-punk and rap by the London-based three-piece outfit.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £3.

The Joy Formidable Alt rock from the band originally from Wales and now based in London.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £15.

Parade, Velvet Stream, Mercedes Commercial pop by the London-based vocal group.

The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). £6.

WEDNESDAY 22 Alex Berger, Emily Baker Americana and folk by the award-winning singer-songwriter from London.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8.

Cheering For Zero, Ic1s, Ragweed, Ming City Rockers Alt rock by the London-based band. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £5, adv/w/flyer £4.

Madison Violet Contemporary folk by the Canadian duo. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £11.25.

Merciless Fail, Naked Remedy, The Skeleton Kid, Raw Deal Classic metal by the band from Southend-on-sea. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £6, concs £4.50.

Cloud Nothings American singersongwriter and musician Dylan Baldi leads his group in playing lofi powerpop and indie-rock in support of the album Attack On Memory. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). £10.

Of Monsters And Men Folk and indie-pop by the band from Reykjavik. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £15.

Eagles Of Death Metal American alt rock band fronted by Jesse Hughes and featuring Queens Of The Stone Age singer Josh Homme on drums. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Paper Beat Scissors Indie and experimental folk using loops and electronics by the singersongwriter, Tim Crabtree, from Halifax, Nova Scotia. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £6.50.

That F*cking Tank, Guns And Knives, Hex Noise-rock by the duo. The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £5.

David Toop, Seymour Wright And Steve Noble, Daichi Yoshikwa, James Dunn, Roberto Mozzachiodi And John Chantler Experimental and avant-garde music from the multi-instrumentalist and composer, the saxophonist and the London-based drummer and percussionist. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £7, concs £5.

THURSDAY 23 Big Hat, Liv & The Lionhardts, White Money Contemporary rock by the band from Nashville, Tennessee. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £10.

Big K.R.I.T. Hip-hop from the American rapper and producer.

Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). Adv £12.50.

Bitter Sweet Kicks The band from St. Kilda, Australia, plays raw, blues-infused garage-rock. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706). Free.

Black Russian, Protobaby Hard rock by the Worcester-based band. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Joe Cang Soul and blues by the London-based singer-songwriter.

MAP Studio Cafe, Grafton Rd, NW5 3DU (020 7916 0545). £10.

Renny Field, Tom Figgins Acoustica from the Australian singersongwriter. The Bedford, Bedford Hill, SW12 9HD (020 8682 8940). £8.

Glen Matlock & The Philistines The London-born singer-songwriter and former Sex Pistols bassist leads his punk-rock outfit. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £18.50.

Hot August Fringe 2012: Bastian Korff The radio host, actor and singer performs cabaret and German renditions of pop and disco hits. Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). £7.

10th Anniversary Carnival Concert Caribbean music showcase featuring performances from Bunji Garlin And Fay Ann Lyons-Alvares, Lil Rick, Swappi, Skinny Fabulous and many more. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £30.

Apples, Mammoth Sound Alt and world music by the band from Israel. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777 /cc 0844 847 1678). £12.50.

James Hunter R‘n’B and soul by the London-based singer.

Islington Town Hall, Upper St, N1 2UD (020 7527 2000). £17.50 & £20.

The Pretty Things Blues, R‘n’B and rock ‘n’ roll from the London-based group, including founder members Phil May and Dick Taylor. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £20.

Stanley Odd, Kids Unique The outfit from Edinburgh plays alternative hip-hop. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £6, w/flyer £5.

Thabani, Future Groove, Farmers’ Roots, MC Baco, Antonio Testa A mixture of lively and energetic Afrobeat, funk and soul from Zimbabwe-born and Londonraised singer songwriter Thabani Nyoni. Passing Clouds, Richmond Rd, E8 4AA (020 7168 7146). £8, £5 before 10pm, free before 8pm.

SATURDAY 25 Dopefight, Gurt, Steak, Alunah, Shebrew, DKH, Profane And The Sacred, Desert Storm, Crumbling Ghost Down-tempo and sludge metal by the band based in Brighton. The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £6.

The Dream Machine AllStars, One Unique Signal, Fulangchangandi, The Lightshines Psychedelic rock by the Londonbased outfit. Fiddler’s Elbow, Malden Rd, NW5 3HS (020 7485 3269). £5.

The Dream Machine All-Stars, One Unique Signal, Fulangchangandi, The Lightshines The Londonbased outfit performs its blend of psychedelic rock.

Fiddler’s Elbow, Malden Rd, NW5 3HS (020 7485 3269). £5.

Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, Good Riddance The American outfit performs playful punk-rock and pop-punk. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400 /cc 0844 477 2000). £22.

Nabucca Festival A one day soul, R‘n’B, reggae and hip-hop event.

Artists appearing include Riya Adel, Anae, Aquablakk, Joe Jury and Mark Weaver. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £7, £5 before midnight.

Out Of The Woods, Like Spinning, Ay Ducane The Swansea-based four-piece plays indie-folk and Americana. Jamboree, Cable St, E1W 3HB (07713 867881). £6, NUS £5.

24 Pesos The London-based outfit performs alternative blues. Colour House Theatre, Merton Abbey Mills, off Merantun Way, SW19 2RD (020 8542 5511). £10, concs £8.

The Strangers, From A Cry, Echo Park A blend of indie, rap and rock from the London-based band. Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137). £8, adv £6.

Tokyo Blade Classic heavy metal by the veteran band from Salisbury. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £10.

SUNDAY 26 Amputated, Basement Torture Killings, Flayed Disciple, Decrepid, Engorgement, Hades Lab Brutal death metal by the Bristol-based outfit. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). £12, adv £10.

Ballyhoo Eventide, Steel Trees, Hope Through Hostility Indie and dance-rock outfit from Bradford. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

Saffire D’Soul, Jordan London, Shizzio, Raggo Zulu Classic soul by the singer-songwriter based in London. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £12.

The Hot Soles, Little Victor The guitar and drum playing duo from Rotherham and Sheffield perform light and upbeat blues-rock. The Blues Kitchen, Camden High St, NW1 7JN (020 7387 5277). £5, free before 9pm.

Frankie Paul, Sharon Tucker The Jamaican singer and musician plays reggae and dancehall.

Hootananny, Effra Rd, SW2 1DF (020 7737 7273). £20, adv £15.

The Perch Creek Family Jugband Australian bluegrass jug band.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £6.

Pocket Satellite, Danni Nicholls, Giles Likes Tea Alt folk and rock by the five-piece outfit from the Sheffield area. Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). Adv £4.

Turbogeist Powerpop and thrash by the London-based outfit.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £6.

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© 2012 Buena Vista International, UK

A PRIVATE SCREENING OF A FEW BEST MEN This summer, prepare to meet the worst best men ever in the outrageous comedy A Few Best Men. When David heads to Australia to get hitched, he invites his three best mates along - Graham (Kevin Bishop), Luke (Tim Draxl) and Tom (Kris Marshall). A carnage-filled stag night ensues, followed by an even rowdier wedding day complete with a deranged drug dealer, a crossdressing sheep and possibly the most offensive best man’s speech of all time! Also starring Bridesmaids’ Rebel Wilson and Olivia Newton-John, as you’ve never seen her before – as

David’s man-eating mother-in-law-tobe. A Few Best Men hits cinemas August 31.

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Stephan Elliott The Aussie filmmaker on his latest, A Few Best Men, why the world needs cheering up, and shocking Olivia Newton John INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

When did you get involved with the movie A Few Best Men? I’d lived in the UK for 14 years and had just moved back to Sydney when the script found its way to my desk. But it was set in England when I got it, so I relocated it to Australia, which was a good chance for me to have a go at the English and also the Australians. We like to show ourselves as the nice guys next door, but don’t often portray the other side of Australia, which is wealth – there is a lot of money in Australia, a lot of people with nice houses and clean teeth.

Was it fun making a comedy when a lot of contemporary Australian cinema is quite bleak?

Yeah, I deliberately went against it – have you seen Snowtown? It is an amazing movie, but I wanted to kill myself at the end of it. At that time, the world was just falling apart and I thought, ‘Can we try and cheer it up?’. One of the rules on set was we are here to have a good time, and it worked like a treat.

Was there a lot of improvisation?

I usually stick to the script, but because I didn’t write this, I found it difficult. For the last take of the day, I let the cast do what they want, but I didn’t realise the whole history with [stars] Kris Marshall and Kevin Bishop, who had worked together since they were kids – once they went off, they were unstoppable! As I learnt working with Robin Williams, the best way to deal with them was to just let them tire themselves out.

Photos: Getty

Did you have to persuade Olivia Newton John to star in the film?

I have known her for a long time and wanted to find something for us to work on. The role had been written as an uptight mother-in-law, so I twisted it round to make her the one that drinks too much, takes too many drugs and loses control. When I gave it to her, she nearly died.

She said: “You have got to be kidding? This goes against everything that I stand for!”

Did you shoot in London as well?

Lots of it is set in London, but it was actually shot in Sydney. Under the Harbour Bridge there

The original wedding-ographer is a lot of architecture from the same period, but we had to block the sun out and make it look like it was raining. Months after we’d finished the film, I was in London while the boys were re-recording their voices. I gave them their clothes and said: “Go stand in Piccadilly Circus and hail a cab.” So there’s one shot that was filmed in the UK. It was the summer, though, so we had to shoot at 3am when the sun was coming up, but I forgot about the 300 drunk shirtless people wandering around the city!

You had a serious accident in 2004 ...

I skied off the French alps and broke my back, pelvis and legs. I shouldn’t still be here, basically.

I was told I wasn’t going to live, then that I was not going to walk. It was pretty bad, to the point where I just pulled out of the world for a while.

It took me three years to learn to walk again. But thank god for morphine, that is all I can say.

What have you been up to lately?

I have turned into a reality TV show judge.

Somebody offered me a gig I thought would be fun – they wanted me to be the bad guy and Jason Donovan, who’s also on the show, to be the good guy – but it turned out the other way.

Does being the good guy come more naturally for you?

As a director, people don’t know what you do for

a living. When people see me, I’m doing press, and being a loudmouth, but my job is working with people. They wanted me to scream and shout, but I said: ‘I don’t work like that.’

You came out earlier this year. Why is legalising gay marriage not as high on the agenda in Australia as elsewhere?

It is such a complicated one. I have been with my partner for 20 years and we got a civil union in the UK about five years ago. The Australians are very, very open-minded people, but underneath there’s a conservatism that has emerged in the past few years. I don’t think it’s going to happen for the next two to three governments.

What’s your weirdest wedding moment?

I was the world’s first wedding-ographer [Elliott filmed weddings from the age of 13] so I have done about 3000 of the fuckers! My favourite has to be the one where the mother was taking control and making every decision. Her daughter was in tears the day before and said: “Mum, it’s not your wedding”, which I used in the movie.

But the next day the mother got out of the car behind the bride in exactly the same outfit.

This poor girl walked down the aisle sobbing as her mother walked ahead of her in the same wedding dress!

A Few Best Men. Out Aug 31 via Buena Vista

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Saving suburbia: a star cast fails to shine

THE WATCH FILM review by Dan Thorne STARRING: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn | 15 | 102mins | On general release from Aug 24

THREE STOOGES FILM STARRING: Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos | PG | 92mins

It’s old meets new as the Three Stooges – Moe, Larry and Curly, made famous in the short sketches from the early 20th century – are given a contemporary spin by the brothers that spunked Cameron Diaz’s hair and made Gwyneth Paltrow a big rubbery fat girl.

With a cast of relative unknowns as the bumbling brothers, this could be a surprise return to form for the Farrellys.

On general release from Aug 22

28

A promising cast of star players come together for this amusing suburban bromcom about a neighbourhood watch group that gets more than they bargain for when investigating the mysterious death of a shop security guard.

Store manager and community-minded good guy Evan (Ben Stiller) pulls together a gang of oddballs – Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade – to get to the bottom of a grisly skin-removing murder at his branch of a warehouse discount store. The group quickly establish themselves as the town joke, getting an egging from a gang of teens and harassment from the local police.

Director and SNL alumni Akiva Schaffer (helmsman for the underrated Hot Rod), working from a script by Seth Rogen, Jared Stern and Evan Goldberg, is happy to let his cast take control. The IT Crowd’s Ayoade doesn’t quite gel with the US cast, despite having his moments playing a geeky pervert who’s more interested in meeting lonely Asian housewives than solving crime. Vaughn, as overprotective man-child-dad Bob, is granted room to shine, though, as he goes off on wild tangents and rants that see him back to his rapid-fire Wedding Crashers best.

With as many laugh-out-loud moments as there are awkwardly mistimed gags and half-baked cock jokes, the action gets funnier when the mystery of the town’s deadly invaders is revealed. This is an enjoyable bit of light-hearted entertainment that attempts the goofball small-town vigilantism of Eighties classics, such as The ‘Burbs. But the promising cast and misguided script don’t always deliver the goods.

GOOD FOR: Fans of Stiller and Vaughn, even when they’re on bronze, rather than gold, form

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GIVE US A

A SLICE OF FAWLTY TOWERS

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

This half-scripted, half-improvised unofficial show invites you to a very special dining experience, one where you are greeted on arrival by the cast of Fawlty Towers – Basil, Sibyl and Manuel – who guides you through three courses of farcical, hotel-running entertainment. An essential for all Towers fans.

Ha ha!

Photos: James Penlidis; Royi Tan

Bangers Bar and Grill EC2M 2TE. Aug 22. £44.95 Liverpool Street thecuttheatrecompany.com

DAMIEN HIRST

THE GREAT GATSBY

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Dots, butterflies, severed heads: Hirst is a man who divides opinion in the art world unlike many others. This retrospective has but a few weeks left to run, so get yourself along, take in his diverse, eclectic work and make your mind up for yourself about modern art’s poster boy – and which side of the Hirst debate you’re on.

A couple of months after a visiting US theatre company gave us every word of Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 novel in an eight-hour marathon, homegrown company Ruby In The Dust slims it down to two, with a lavish sprinkling of songs. There’s a sacrifice of subtlety, but the story sucks you in until its tragic climax.

Tate Modern Bankside, SE1 9TG. Until Sept 9. £14 Southwark tate.org.uk

King’s Head Theatre Upper Street, N1 1QN. Until Sept 1. £10+ Angel kingsheadtheatre.com

What’s The Hedgehog Dilemma about? When I stopped being an alcoholic, left my fiancé and moved back with my mum – but funny.

Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? I once saw my grandma take the coconuts out of the boot after food shopping, and she started juggling and singing, “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts”. We’re not a well family.

Who is the funniest person you have ever met and why? My dad.

Sometimes it’s intentional, but sometimes not. He barely speaks English he’s so Australian; he has a Yin & Yang tattoo on his chest and an earring, but is a builder who loves sport. He’s the most paradoxical human being I know.

KEITH LEMMON: THE MOVIE

SOHO CINDERS

FILM

THEATRE

If Ali G can have a film all of his own – to stink up, admittedly – then why can’t Keith Lemmon?

Leigh Francis’ comic creation, the Leeds-based entrepreneur Lemmon, has his eyes on apeing his hero, Richard Branson, as Kelly Brook features in his rags-to-riches tale. How much you like it depends on how much you like Lemmon’s sleb-obsessed routine.

This contemporary new musical, loosely based on Cinderella, gets a short Soho run. Instead of a demure Cinders, we’re given rent boy Robbie, funding his studies through extracurricular services. The songs are a happy mix of the catchy, poignant, clever and raucous, and this is an immensely enjoyable evening.

On general release August 24

FELICITY WARD

Soho Theatre Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Until Sept 9. £12.50+ Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

What was your first gig? Before my first gig, I was certain I’d kill myself afterwards. I thought nothing I’d ever said was funny. Then I realised that’s what I was supposed to be doing for the rest of my life.

The Hedgehog Dilemma. Soho Theatre, Aug 30-Sept 1. £10+ W1D 3NE Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com Edinburgh Fringe. Until Aug 27. £12 EH8 9AL

edinburgh

edfringe.com

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The sounds of summer We chat to the masterminds behind three of the Notting Hill Carnival’s biggest sound systems WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY To get amongst it at Notting Hill Carnival is to truly realise what it’s like to party in London. Wandering the capital’s streets, part of an untamed orgy of peacock colours, livewire entertainers and inclusive, spontaneous celebrations is one of the highlights of the year. This weekend, west London wakes from its polite slumber to serve up its annual two-day feast of unbridled hedonism. It’s the 48 hours Londoners reclaim their streets, not worrying about cars or about disturbing others, but concentrating solely on having fun.

The Carnival, Europe’s biggest street party, attracting more than a million people over the August bank holiday weekend, is led by the city’s West Indian community, its roots stemming from celebrating the abolition of 19th-century slavery in the Caribbean. Today, nothing seen on the streets of Chelsea, Kensington and Notting Hill should surprise any carnivalgoer.

But after shoulders have hosted snakes, bellies have been stuffed with jerk chicken/ goat curry and eyes have been nourished by the miles of colours making up the event’s showpiece procession, feet will want to move and booties will want to shake. That’s where carnival’s sound systems come into play. More than 40 of the beasts, each spewing forth a diverse range of vibrations, will be in action this year.

If there’s a musical genre with a bass and rhythm, it’s likely to heard in west London this weekend.

“I love the fact you just wander round and you can hear some mad dubstep, really sort of cutting-edge stuff that you’ve never really hear before, and you walk another block you’re into some proper old-school roots/ reggae“ says Sancho Panza sound system founder, Jimmy K Tel. “And then around the corner, Norman Jay’s Good Times is playing funk, house, disco house and a bit of anything. Then come to us and everyone’s smiling and jumping to house.“ K Tel’s outfit is back for the 19th time, this year hosting deep house/ disco maestros Crazy P; tech house DJ Craig Richards, of Fabric fame; and dancefloor dynamo Pete Herbert among its artists. They’ll play to crowds of up to 10,000 each day at Middle Row, W10.

And while K Tel may be nearing two-decade presence at carnival, he’s got the enthusiasm of a first-timer, a man with a party fever for which there’s no cure.

“The thing that’s going to catch you is the music,“ he warns.

“You might end up following a float and end up with a

headdress on, blowing a whistle, then bumping and grinding with someone you’ve never met before. Next thing you’re in a jumped-up dubstep trance going mad. What a time.“ Over at Wornington Rd, another veteran, Keith Franklin, manager of the KCC and the Rocking Crew, is also champing at the bit to unleash his serving of soulful club classics and

“

The thing that will catch you is the music

”

house on the masses. This is KCC’s 21st appearance, and this year the sound system will host DJ Spoony, Paul ’Trouble’ Anderson and a host of guest international DJs. “We’ve got a strong crowd, a nice party crowd, and we host a great party,“ Franklin promises, buzzing at the thought of faces both old and new bobbing up and down ››

People from all walks feel the vibe TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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The funk is strong with this lot

to his vibrations. “Everyone’s on about how the Olympics brought people together, but Carnival’s been doing that for 40-odd years.

“The real beauty of it is that lots of people come together that might not normally come together. And it’s not just Londoners; it’s people from all over the world. That’s the main thing. That’s the thing I love.“ Franklin’s sentiments are echoed by Rapattack manager Alistair Roberts, who will help turn All Saints Road into a bubbling cauldron of beats with the help of 40,000 watts of speakers. He says that during the 28 years Rapattack has performed, as the crowds change, so has the music.

“The Carnival sound has now progressed to something that’s a representation of the UK and London as well as Caribbean art,“ Roberts says. “Across it, the British elements are really important because the underground party scene and the clubbing scene, in which sound systems were heavily used in the 1980s, had their own particular cultures as well.“ Roberts, whose DJs all spin vinyl, rather than MP3s, still remembers the Carnival days where all an artist had to do was turn up with a speakerbox and go for it. Nowadays, though, bureaucracy abounds. Licences for premises, alcohol and street distribution, and meetings with police mean it’s a very different party than it was 30 years ago

“It’s worth it for us because we’re known as one of the best around and get sponsorship from Red Bull,“ Roberts says. “But some of the sound systems don’t get any funding from arts councils or government to put on a showcase.

“It can cost up to £20,000 for a system, plus all the work that goes into it. Many have to find those funds themselves.“ Still, he says, on the day, it all becomes worth it. “The crowds are great fun. They just go to have a good time. We play right across the board – everything from James Brown to Beyonce – so it’s a very mixed crowd and one that know how to really enjoy themselves … and they do.“ If all that’s not an invitation to get yourself out in the streets of London this weekend, then perhaps your life needs examination; perhaps the roaring fire that once fuelled your sense of fun has been reduced to a smouldering pile of embers. But if, like K Tel, Franklin and Roberts, something about the sight and sound of open-minded and openhearted individuals getting lost on a musical journey excites you, you’re in the right spot. Notting Hill Carnival will take you places. One million party people can’t wrong. ❚ Notting Hill Carnival. Family Day: Sun, Aug 28. Adult Day: Mon, Aug 29 rapattack.co.uk; sanchopanza.org; bassline.org/ KCC Check with TfL

FOUR OF THE BEST NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL AFTERPARTIES GENERATOR

SANCHO PANZA

DAVID RODIGAN

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Dress in Carnival gear as Generator Hostel serves up cocktails, karaoke and dance comps all weekend long. Daily happy hour until 9pm.

The Sancho crew provides a post Carnival top-up featuring Leftside Wobble and Crazy P anong the bill. These guys just keep on giving.

Legendary reggae DJ David Rodigan keeps the party going until. until 5am. He’s joined by Toddla T and the Deathly Rhythm Soundsystem.

Musical tastemaker Gilles Peterson will supply world rhythms from the rooftop of Brixton Clubhouse. Give your ears an ongoing musical treat.

Aug 23-27. From 6pm each day 37 Tavistock Place, WC1H 9SE generatorhostels.com Russell Square

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Saturday 27 October 2012 Business Design Cente - Islington 9.30am - 5.30pm

DON’T MISS OUT! w.tnttravelshow.com

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SPARETIME

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The Darkness: Hot Cakes

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Madden NFL 13 PS3

The NFL superstar series’ new entry boasts new tech FX. £39.99 amazon.co.uk

CD

The return of the unlikeliest pop rock success story, ever! £8.99 amazon.co.uk

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Messi-inspired football smash, with five gamechanging innovations. £34.99 play.com

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There are four of them, they have put aside their bickering, and have a new record to prove it. £9.99 play.com

Asphalt 7 App

Fifteen tracks ‘based on real cities’ are the backdrop for this breakneck racer. £0.69 itunes.apple.com

Barney Simon: A Singing In Every Moment & Inch of Me Book

The true story of celebrated SA playwright, actor and director, Barney Simon. £15.99 amazon.co.uk

Translator App

A voice-, camera- or type-controlled language converter. Travel-handy.

Free windowsphone.com

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A history of anti-Nazi jokes, from the Twenties through to current German Hitler jibes.

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Celebrating 20 years of MoS, these ace cans deliver crisp beats and punchy bass, with a sleek urban cool look. £39.99

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Spectacular nonsense as Transformers combines with the classic board game. £12.99 tesco.com

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The inside skinny on where to go, what to do, who to see, and where to eat in east London.

Essential for Londonites and newbies alike.

Free stratfordlondonapp.com

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Cream funnel neck coat Go back to the swinging Sixties with this class design. bonprix.co.uk

Walk Up shirt Try a smart-but-trendy style and wear this shirt buttoned up to the top.

Sixties shift dress Step back in time in this two-tone number. bonprix.co.uk

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Every now and then, a girl needs a little luxury in her life. So check out this new Chanel pop-up in Covent Garden. The iconic brand has opened a beauty boutique in the main Piazza, and offers the classics that we all drool over. Chanel No 5, anyone?

Beauty consultants are on hand for makeup consultations (£25) and manicures (£20), and the prices are redeemable towards the product of your choice.

Of course, you won’t be hard pressed to find something you want in this store. We’re particularly fond of the Dragon nail colour, a classic red that makes you feel almost as powerful as a good pair of stilettos. Give your wallet a break and check out the outdoor area with facials and other wonderful ways to pamper yourself. For the fashionista out there, new Chanel products will be released at this pop-up weeks before they reach their high street location.

OPEN Until December 31 chanel.com/Covent_Garden Covent Garden

Alpinestars Parka Make sure you wrap up, even if it’s not cold outside.

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Converse Player A trendy man-bag for things you can’t be without.

Lambretta Rebel watch Be fashionably late with this cool time-telling machine. watchshop.com

usc.co.uk

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

BOLLYWOOD

DANCING

Raise your hand if you’ve always wanted to be a Bollywood dancer?

Well, you’re in luck. As the Bollywood film industry celebrates its 100th year, this class is a nod towards the high-energy, colourful dancing for which the movies are famed. Luckily, you don’t need to have a background in dance – just the enthusiasm to get on the floor, and strut your stuff. A teacher will help you choreograph a movieperfect routine of twists and turns, shakes and shimmies, which will keep your heart rate up and your waist size down. Head along to one of the drop-in classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And, if you like what you see, book in for the five-week course. As Bollywood is all about group performance, together with your classmates, you’ll learn some impressive moves that you’ll be bound to pull out on the dancefloor after a couple of beers. It’s also a great way to meet new people.

Classes are held at a variety of locations throughout London, including Pineapple Studios and Danceworks. Costs start at £11.

Various locations bollywooddancelondon.com

@tntmagazine

Going all Fifty Shades Of Grey Reenact the naughty bits of the best-selling book at home with your partner. Holy cow! WORDS CAROL DRIVER My inner goddess is sulking. I’m at women’s sex store Sh!, which is holding a step-bystep DIY Fifty Shades Of Grey workshop.

As the UK’s best-selling book of all time, it’s hard to ignore EL James’s trilogy. After weeks of holding out, I give in and read the first one – pissing off my inner goddess completely – devouring the clumsily written pages in just a few days.

According to Joanna, our corset-clad bossy dominant for the evening, it’s had a profound effect on the sex industry, with 10 times the number of requests from men looking to buy their partner a sex toy – sales of gags are up 300 per cent and cuffs up 200 per cent. Holy crap!

In response, Sh! in Hoxton, east London, is running Fifty Shades Of Kinky Sensuality (next one is on Aug 29), where you can find out about the toys featured in the book and mind-play involved in the games.

The room is filled with women, and a token guy, who sits quietly in the corner, shifting nervously in his seat. Reenacting scenes from Fifty Shades with Leala-Rain,

Sex shop: inside Sh! 36

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her subordinate – or ‘bottom’ as its weirdly known – Joanna shows us the paraphernalia Christian Grey uses on Anastasia Steele.

First things first, don’t just whip out a ballgag (holy cow!) on your unsuspecting other half – discuss everything, and get consent, for what you’re planning to do in advance.

“It’s important to talk about your ‘no-go’ areas. BDSM is not just about the physical, but also the emotional journey,” Joanna says.

Next, agree two safe words, one for when the sub wants the dom to ease up, then the second for when things go beyond the sub’s comfort zone. Obviously this shouldn’t be something such as “yes” or “god”, but a word out of context, such as a colour.

And make sure you’re coherent before the fun begins. Joanna says: “Don’t drink and spank! Being drunk or high can dull the sensations of pleasure.”

Next, get into character – high-heels and lots of makeup, apparently, for the women, or use a different name. Doms, demand your sub doesn’t make eye contact, and whatever you do, don’t bite your bottom lip.

Spanking: pleasure or pain?

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WHAT’S NEW

Jack Black Beard Lube Odd name but conditions skin. £18.00 boots.co.uk

Sub or dom? Remember your safe word Love balls, £15+ Despite her coy persona, Ana falls in love with these in the book. “They’re fun and good exercise,” Joanna says. “Pop two balls in your lady garden, rubbing against your G-spot as you wander around.” Oh my!

Blindfold, £12+ Covering your sub’s eyes will make sure their other senses are on full alert. And will mean the dom has full control during the scene.

Nipple clamps, £15 These prompt one audience member to ask whether they could permanently change the shape of a woman’s nipples. “Pulling up instead of down hurts more,” Joanna adds.

Vibrators An almighty speed wand (£60) is passed around – the woman next to me looks

horrified before Joanna explains it’s for “external pleasure only”. There’s also an ice vibrator (£12), which heightens the senses.

Pattie Stripes & Sparkle Twoin-one colour nail polish. £3.99 superdrug.com

Spanking, £40 “It’s a great way to release endorphins. And it’s not uncommon for your bottom [sub] to burst into laughter or tears as it’s a pure release of tension,” Joanna says. She passes around a fur-lined, heart-shaped paddle, while explaining what the ‘safe’ areas are – tops of arms, thighs and bum.

Crops, £15+ Don’t hold with your finger out, or it’ll hurt. Give flicky hits, light taps or sensual NEXT WEEK strokes. Can also be used down there! – Try out London’s if your inner goddess weirdest workouts can handle it.

Weapons Of Mass Grooming Everything a lad needs. £34.99 argos.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock; Sh!

TOP TREATMENT: SALT CAVE Step into this man-made salt cave and you’ll be surrounded by, you guessed it, salt – on the walls, on the floor and even diffused in the air. The Salt Cave claims this natural, drug-free treatment will cure respiratory problems, skin conditions, allergies, and even snoring. Just step into the room for an hour, grab a lounge chair, and relax as all of your health problems melt away. The first hour session is free to try and £35 for each one afterwards.

320B Earlsfield Road, SW18 3EJ

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Structure glue Sculpt your hair into a firm hold style. £11.95 structurehair.co.uk

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Ga ga for radio Fancy ripping up the airwaves with your comical banter, top taste in music and lively personality? Check out how WORDS CAROL DRIVER Have you ever flicked on your favourite radio station, listened to the DJs chatting away and thought you’d be able to do a better job? And even if you don’t have the confidence to get on the mic, what about being part of a team producing a show?

The bad news is that with increasing syndication in the world of radio – celebrities presenting shows, which are sold to or aired on other stations – there are fewer chances of rising through the ranks. (This is how Chris Moyles, Zane Lowe and Scott Mills started their careers.)

However, this means the emphasis is on you to be creative and get noticed if you want to work on national radio.

And don’t let that rule out local and hospital radio stations, which, although 38

not as glamorous sounding as the big brands, can offer you experience.

Here, we talk to three experts about their career paths.

Martyn Lee, presenter/ producer, Absolute Radio network Lee is on air every day, plying his trade behind the mic or bringing together the music, features and interviews.

But he’s earned his unique position (most people are either presenters or producers), having a more unconventional introduction to radio.

He says: “I wrote to my local station when I was 16 but got rejected. I called the programme manager to ask again but she didn’t have any jobs. So I travelled to the station and sat in reception until the boss came

downstairs. Luckily I ended up with a job rather than a restraining order.”

Lee, based at the “pretty sweet” address of One Golden Square, Soho, works on Absolute Radio, Absolute 80s and Absolute Classic Rock, but says there’s something for all interests.

“There’s a reason nearly everyone in the country listens to radio,” he says.

“Whatever you’re into – music, sport or culture – there’s somewhere you can get involved in radio and broadcast to like-minded people.”

And if you’re thinking a lack of qualifications might set you back, you’d be wrong. “The best people I’ve worked with have been the least qualified in the academic sense,” Lee says. “Be the most compelling person for the job ... having had some sort or

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB KATY BELL CAREER Creative director of Lost Property of London AGE 27 LIVES Kent FROM Islington

Photos: Thinkstock

Spinning tunes: Giannini, and, right, play only your favourite tracks

a life or experience is ROLES IN RADIO involved with SS Radio also really important.”

Reporter; interviewer; researcher; (ssradiouk.com/ And be prepared script writer; presenter; journalist; tuffandtwisted), one to work for nothing in producer; studio assistant; of the largest online the beginning. “The programme scheduler; audio radio stations. salary starts at zero,” engineer; editor; station manager; “Day to day I he says. “That’s what airtime sales; community training; juggle between preI did for a year just to volunteer support. production of the get experience at a big show, working as an LOOKING FOR WORK As well radio station.” engineer for a TV postas recruitment websites, check out If you do manage to production company in the radio stations where you want get a foot in the door Soho and also working to work, as often they’ll advertise and make it to the as a resident club DJ,” positions on their own site. To interview stage, make he says. get a foot in the door, do work sure you’re enthusiastic. experience either after work or at Giannini backs “It’s all about finding the weekends.

Lee’s claim about the ones who want qualifications, adding: to create something “Being a great DJ isn’t amazing that other people will love,” about exams or what’s on your CV, it’s he says. “I never wanted people who a combination of knowing your music would be out of the door at 5.30pm. It’s inside out (to the point of passion), an attitude where people love the job being able to present a good show and think about it 24/7 rather than just verbally for your listeners and also a way to pay the bills.” pulling it all together so that your listeners feel that you’re playing a DJ Umberto Giannini, DJ set just for them.” To get noticed, use the internet. Giannini adds: “It’s a great Giannini started in the music industry tool to get yourself heard, so use it to as a club DJ, playing house music showcase your talent.” nationwide before making guest appearances on Ministry of Sound Where to look Radio in 2003.

NEXT WEEK He was quickly offered his own See bbc.co.uk/ Saturday night show, which ran for five careers/home; How to learn a years, boasting the highest audience radiocentre.org; new skill online figures on the station, before getting radioinlondon.com

How did you get into your line of work?

I studied textile design at Central Saint Martins and went straight into a design studio after university. A year or so creating someone else’s designs was the perfect incentive to get my own out there.

What do you do day-to-day?

I’m starting to design the next season while chasing up all orders placed in March during Paris Fashion Week and planning my New York trip.

What’s the best part of your job?

The travel? Ha. I really enjoy surprising people when they learn how I source my materials. I up-cycle a lot of materials. Unfortunately there can be a huge stigma attached to eco chic… in that it does not exist.

I think that’s changing, though.

What’s the most challenging?

Learning how to switch off at the end of a very intense day. lostpropertyoflondon.com

HOW TO ...

CHASE A CV So you’ve emailed your CV off into the abyss of an HR account.

What do you do next?

• Don’t panic. If it’s sent your

end, chances are it’s reached them. There’s no need to email four times to check they got it.

• A week after the closing date of

the vacancy, send a polite email asking whether you made it through to the interview stage.

• Don’t ask for feedback on your

CV if you don’t make it, it’s up to you to make sure it’s spot on in the first place.

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tntjobs.co.uk THE GCD BOUTIQUE CATERING

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef Manager/ Site Manager Location: EC1, The City Salary: Up to £22,000 based on exp.

T: 020 3222 0668

We are seeking a proactive, enthusiastic Chef Manager to work at one of our City locations managing a team of 4. You will be responsible for running a busy coffee and deli bar along with hospitality for our high end client. You will have exceptional cooking skill, be proficient in site paperwork, stock, closing and admin

We are a vibrant contract caterer working with a cross section of clients within The City and UK.

CV to scott@thegcd.co.uk

SHOPFITTING AND JOINERY CO.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Shop fitting carpenter capable of supervising full shop fit Location: UK and Europe Salary: Top rates for the right people

T: 01293 823633

Must speak good english and be prepared to work away from home; be fully qualified and have own tools.

Email your CV to pat@moorhurstinteriors.com | 01293 823633

ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week

Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses!

Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

FAIRTRADES LTD

JOB OF THE WEEK: Self Employed Field Sales Agents Location: Work from home Salary: Commission Based Salary

T: 0151 6093508 fairtrades.co.uk

John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

FairTrades /HomePro, started in 1983, are one of the UK’s largest providers of vetted tradesmen and insurance across the Home Improvement Sector.

You will be a self motivated individual, customer focused with experience in self employed field sales. You will be able to source and close your own generated leads

THE ONE GROUP AND ME LONDON

JOB OF THE WEEK: : Cocktail Servers, Restaurant Servers, Host, Server Assistants, Bartenders and Bar Backs Location: Covent Garden Salary: Based on position

togrp.com • me-by-melia • stkhouse.com ME London, design led, contemporary hotel.

STK London, Steak, atmosphere, temptation.

Cucina Asellina, meet our version of Italian

THE VICTORIA T: 020 8876 4238 www.thevictoria.net The Victoria has 7 hotel rooms and serves critically acclaimed food in the dining room and the pub bar.

Warren Stiles | 0151 6093508 | warren.stiles@fairtrades.co.uk

Arriving in London this summer, the ‘fashionable and dynamic’ food and beverage operator, The ONE Group premieres its European operation seamlessly partnering with one of London’s most luxurious five star hotels, ME London by Melia hotels.

MEMELIA@HOTMAIL.CO.UK

JOB OF THE WEEK: Full time Breakfast Waitress/Waiter/Barista Location: East Sheen, Richmond Salary: Hourly based on exp.

Must have previous experience in a similar role and be able to communicate effectively in English, have a warm and positive attitude and be able to interact in a professional manner with guests and employees bookings@thevictoria.net Reply with full CV & contact details. References will be requested

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

TNT_1512_JOTW.indd 40

JOBS 17/8/12 15:55:32

OPENING SEPTEMBER 2012

AUDITIONS POSITIONS AVAILABLE

Sub Editor TNT Magazine is looking for a talented sub editor to join its fast-paced offices in east London.

Working for the UK's oldest free publication, you'll be turning around copy quickly and efficiently.

TOGRP.COM

COCKTAIL SERVERS RESTAURANT SERVERS HOSTS SERVER ASSISTANTS BARTENDERS BAR BACKS CONTACT US AT MEMELIA@HOTMAIL.CO.UK For consideration, please send us your CV with headshot

A natural at writing attention-grabbing headlines and hilarious captions, you’ll also have hawk eyes when it comes to spotting grammatical and spelling errors, and are pedantic about details.

The ideal candidate will be mad about Aussie and Kiwi sports and is keen to write features across a range of topics including, but not limited to, entertainment, news, sport and travel.

You'll also be producing news articles for tntmagazine.com, so experience of news writing and knowledge of SEOs and social media is preferable.

The ideal candidate will be brimming with ideas for fun, quirky and informative features, and will bring a wealth of contacts to TNT. You'll be trained to NCTJ level or equivalent, be proficient in inDesign, and understand journalism isn't a 9-5 job.

To apply, send a CV and cover letter detailing your current salary, along with five examples of your work, and a 200-word critique of this week's magazine.

Applications to: Carol Driver, Group Editor, carol.driver@tntmagazine.com by Tuesday, August 24.

Calling South Africans abroad to help

Build the Cloud!

What do we do?

What do we need?

We play a central role in building the Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud

Exceptional Engineers with very strong technical skills and experience.

(Amazon EC2). AWS Support provides global technical support to a wide

You should be obsessed with customer satisfaction, have a background

range of external customers as they build mission-critical applications

in computer science and be passionate about cloud computing.

on top of AWS services such as Amazon S3 and Amazon EC2

We have open roles available in Cape Town for: Software Development Managers

Cloud Support Engineers – Linux

Software Developers

Product Managers

Software – Web Development

Technical Program Managers

Systems Engineers

Technical Writers

Cool job with a global company who is changing the world of cloud computing, blue skies, white beaches, warm sunny days …… thinking of coming home yet?

If you’re ready to work hard, have fun and make history with us, send your CV to cpt-jobs-tnt@amazon.com or check out all our available roles and apply online at http://bit.ly/aws-cpt-jobs.

Please reference “ ” on your application

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*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

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CASH-SAVING TIPS ONE MAN. CHEAP RATE Xxxxxxxxx If you haven’t seen the hilarious One Man. Two XXXXXXXXX Guvnors, now’s the time.

Xxxxxxxxxxx Visitlondon.com is selling discounted tickets for XXXXXXXXX just £12 for Mon-Thurs Xxxxxxxxxxx performances until Aug 29. Having gained fiveXXXXXXXXX star reviews and taken Xxxxxxxxxxx comedian James Corden to Broadway, it’s one for XXXXXXXXX the must-see list when Xxxxxxxxxxx you’re in London.

Photos: Getty

25 PER CENT OFF AT ZIZI Pig out on pizza and pasta at a branch of Zizi and get a quarter off the bill with a special voucher.

Log on to zizzi.co.uk and print off the code, or show it on your smartphone when you dine Sun-Thurs.

Make sure it’s valid, as it varies depending on the restaurant. Get in fast, though, as the deal expires on Sept 2.

A LA CARTE DISCOUNT Dine on posh nosh for half the price at Chez Gerard. Tuck into the a la carte menu, safe in the knowledge that 50 per cent will be coming off the bill. Print off the voucher at chezgerard.co.uk and hand it to staff at the end of your meal. Offer is valid until the end of August.

LIFESTYLEMONEY

HOW YOU SPEND IT! something, make sure you look in the sales first. That said, don’t just buy things because they’re going cheap in the sales. Make sure you really need them first.

Last big blow-out?

I bought a pair of shoes for £100 from the Paul Smith shop in Notting Hill.

RASMUS RIKTERSVENDSEN JOB Student FROM Norway LIVES London How do you budget?

I make sure I don’t spend

too much by only buying essential items when I need them. It’s hard though!

Any money-saving tips for living in London?

Don’t buy unnecessary items. If you need to buy

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

I buy a lot of video games, which can be an expensive hobby once you add them up. The most recent one I bought was called Skyrim.

It cost about £40.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! It’s all about the money Beyoncé and hubby Jay-Z have been named the highestearning couple in showbiz, raking in £49m in the past year. These other celebs didn’t fare too badly, either ...

‘We be money’

❚ Gisele Bundchen and footballer Tom Brady were paid just a little bit less at £45m, with the supermodel bringing in more than £28m.

❚ Are-they-aren’t-they getting-hitched Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie earned more than £28m from movies, and her Louis Vuitton campaign.

❚ David and Victoria Beckham raked in a jawdropping £34m in the past year. She mainly from her design empire, and he from campaigns for Burger King, Samsung and his contract with LA Galaxy.

❚ And Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith took home a measly £25m, poor loves. He pocketed more than a wad of cash from Men In Black 3 – a box office smash at £395m and counting – and her from film and fashion.

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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STYLE .76

£29

Steepletone Brighton Radio Surf the airwaves qvcuk.com

Chill out in style Notting Hill Gate, W11

.99

£49

Young love and (below) Portobello Market

WORDS SARAH KURANDA

Mini Vespa As you can’t afford a real one joannawood.co.uk

99

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99

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44

With an eclectic mix of its poor, artistic past and its current trendy, expensive appeal, Notting Hill Gate has a laidback feel most of the year – when the carnival’s not thumping.

Despite being only a small area, it has plenty to explore. North of the Tube station will bring you to the more tourist-laden Pembridge Road and Westbourne Grove.

Head south, you can peruse the vintage shops and restaurants of Kensington Church Street and eventually come across the bright, rainbow houses of Hillgate Village and the route to Kensington Gardens. Or you can just wander up Notting Hill Gate, filled with bookshops, music stores and cafés.

anyone who wants tranquillity may want to look elsewhere,” says Nikki Jewitt, a letting co-ordinator at the estate agent Faron Sutaria. Full of life, Notting Hill Gate may not be quite the right place for someone looking to escape the city atmosphere after work.

Why Notting Hill Gate?

Most famously, there is the Portobello Market, a two-mile long market that draws

You’ll never be bored here – and, if you are, you’re confused. There are clubs, restaurants and shops at every turn. The streets are bustling with activity – and that’s without mentioning the annual Caribbean festival.

The area offers the convenience and high-style living of neighbouring Kensington and Chelsea, but with a more arty and less pretentious feeling. You still get all of your classic columned white buildings, but they have a quirkier edge to them.

There are plenty of private parks to escape the hustle and bustle, but the area really manages to hold on to its creative, cosmopolitan feeling.

Don’t move here if...

This isn’t for you if you’re looking for a quiet, peaceful place to live. “It’s quite busy, so

The people Families and young professionals are drawn here, though it also entices tourists and students. “It is very eclectic, and the vibrancy the area, especially Portobello, attracts people to live here no matter where they work,” Jewitt says.

Where to hang out

in locals and tourists alike with its giant selections of antiques, fresh food and clothing. This is a great place to check out on a sunny Saturday afternoon. If you’re looking for something a little more relaxing, head to the historic Coronet Cinema or get a more

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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MY AREA MANUELA MOOLLAN FOUNDER OF AHILYA

“I like a Sunday movie fix at the Gate Cinema. It makes the start of the week less daunting!”

EMMA SMART

CUSTOMER & CHANNEL PARTNER

international flavour at the Gate Theatre.

While there is no shortage of restaurants to choose from, we recommend checking out The Churchill Arms on Kensington Church Street, a stand-out from the street because of its spectacular wall gardens.

For something a bit sweeter, stop by the Hummingbird Bakery and grab a delicious frosted cupcake.

The connections Falling on four Tube lines, connections to the District, Circle, and Central lines are available at Notting Hill Gate, as well as

the Circle and Hammersmith and City lines at the Westbourne Park, Ladbroke Grove, and Latimer Road stops.

“There are so many great restaurants, pubs and coffee shops.

Portobello Road is another highlight – it is buzzing with so much to do and see!”

SARAH WATKINSON -HULL

What you can rent Most of the properties available are flat conversion to let. There is a mix of Victorian style and more modern accommodation, so whatever your taste, NEXT WEEK you should be able to find something Where to live at here that will the end of the line appeal to you.

OWNER OF YULL SHOES

“What I love most is that independent shops and cafes still exist and I love seeing the pastelcoloured houses on my way to and from the Tube.”

W11 INFO BOROUGH

Kensington and Chelsea COUNCIL TAX

£1079 band D TRAVEL TIME TO LONDON

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

15 minutes STUDIO £195pw

ONE-BED FLAT £395pw

ONE-BED FLAT £450pw

This property boasts wood flooring and high ceilings, as well as a private bathroom and kitchen.

It’s just a few minutes’ walk to Notting Hill Tube.

OK, this will set you back a bit more, but it’s a stunning apartment.

Set over two levels, with wooden flooring, it’s got a fitted kitchen, as well as original features.

Here, you’re paying for the location – just a short walk from Notting Hill Gate Tube. The property boasts high ceilings and has access to communal gardens.

faronsutaria.co.uk

faronsutaria.co.uk

TUBE

Notting Hill Gate, Latimer Road, Westbourne Park, Ladbroke Grove AVERAGE ROOMSHARE £80pw AVERAGE RENTAL 1 BED FLAT

£1868pcm AVERAGE STUDIO

£1148pcm

faronsutaria.co.uk

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WORLDVIEW

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‘Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you’

‘SORRY SIR, YOU CAN’T SIT NEXT TO MINORS’ AUSTRALIA An Aussie airline has come under fire for its policy of not letting single men sit next to unaccompanied kids.

Virgin Australia will review its rules after a man was forced to move seats on a flight from Brisbane after it was noticed he was sitting next to two young boys.

Johnny McGirr, 33, told how an attendant asked a female passenger to swap places with him, saying: “Can you please sit in this seat because he is not allowed to sit next to minors?” McGirr added: “I got really embarrassed.”

Virgin Australia said it will review the policy after the story sparked a backlash.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @rusty-rockets (Russell Brand) ALevel students, good luck – I didn’t get any and still ended up with a job as a psychedelic bus driver @Charles–HRH Mr Osborne on the phone. Has failed A-Level economics.

One could’ve looked at the current economy to guess that, Sherlock

MAN SPIES ON GAMES GIRLS IN POOL LOOS UNITED KINGDOM A peeping Tom has pleaded guilty to perving on the Chinese Olympic swimming team.

Declan Crosbie, from Leeds, lurked in a women’s toilet, but was snapped by the team as he peered over cubicles while they were getting changed.

When staff went to find the 25-yearold, he hid in a cubicle and tried to answer them in a woman’s voice.

He then emerged to beg staff not to call 46

All Shook Up: Elvis tribute artists climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge in Sydney, to honour the 35th anniversary of Presley’s death. Thirty-five suited, booted and quiffed lookalikes took part. Let’s hope they’re not lonesome tonight. Although they probably will be ...

the police before running away. Crosbie later handed himself in to police and pleaded guilty to trespass with intent to commit a sexual offence.

He has previous form, being jailed for three years in 2009 after being found standing over a sleeping student, whose trousers had been pulled down.

Crosbie will be sentenced on September 17 after being assessed for a sex offenders’ programme.

SHITTERTON IS WORST NAMED TOWN UNITED KINGDOM The picturesque hamlet of Shitterton in Dorset has been named Britain’s most unfortunate place name in a survey.

The tiny settlement between Dorchester

and Poole beat the nearby valley of Scratchy Bottom, near Durdle Door in Dorset and Brokenwind in Aberdeenshire in the study by findmypast.co.uk.

Shitterton is a very literal English translation of the village name recorded in Norman French in the 11th century Domesday Book as Scatera or Scetra, which means a little town that is on the stream of a midden or sewer.

Crapstone, a village in Dartmoor in Devon, came forth in the survey of 1773 people, ahead of Golden Balls in Oxfordshire, Ugley in Essex, Crackpot in North Yorkshire, Backside in Aberdeenshire, Great Snoring in Norfolk and Happy Bottom in Dorset.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 1

Number of extra wives Lisa Curran, from the UK, found her husband had after snooping on his Facebook page

Amount of cash, in millions, in bundles of £20 and £50 notes found by police hidden in a home in Shropshire

1.3

Wild: don’t send smoke signals when hunting

BOAR HUNTERS CAUSE FLIGHT CANCELLATION

6

TONGA A group of boar hunters caused an international flight to be cancelled after lighting a fire to flush out the wild animals.

The men were on the volcanic island of Tofua when they set fire to the scrub, sending an “ash cloud” into the sky.

A pilot flying in the region reported it, and when the image was seen on satellite, official advisories were issued by the Meteorological Service in Wellington.

The warning prompted Virgin Australia to cancel its flight out of Auckland to Tonga, leaving passengers stranded for 24 hours, while the hunters reportedly enjoyed themselves with wild pork.

POLICE SEARCH EXPLOSIVE FIND

Photos:Getty; AAP; Thinkstock

AUSTRALIA For officers conducting a Victorian roadside traffic search, it was a discovery that nearly blew them away.

Police in East Geelong pulled over a car and found a grenade sitting in the centre console.

A police spokesman said the army was quickly called in and after two hours it was determined the World War II-era explosive device was luckily no longer active.

Police then allegedly found cannabis in the car and later searched the driver’s home and found unregistered firearms, prohibited weapons and a quantity of drugs.

FINAL 1512 World news.indd 47

Cost, in thousands of pounds, of a ‘pig pod’ – holiday homes based on pig shelters, created by a Devon man

Compensation, in thousands of pounds, awarded to a Greater Manchester fireman who injured himself putting on gloves

Sorted A 33-year-old man, of St Albans Park, has been charged and bailed to appear in Geelong Magistrates Court on October 2.

MEN-ONLY SHELF TO MAKE SHOPPING FUN UNITED STATES A New York supermarket has just opened the city’s first men-only shelf stocked with products aimed solely at male customers.

The aisle is located right beside the entrance to the Westside Market, making it especially convenient for men who hate going shopping.

“If you’re going to have some guys over to watch a game, you can pretty much stand here without moving two feet,” said the store’s manager, Ian Joskowitz.

Joskowitz came upon the idea after reading about a survey that discovered that the number of men shopping for their families has gone up.

5

QUOTE OF THE WEEK Stratford’s finest Oasis tribute band Noel Gallagher has a dig at brother Liam’s appearance at the London 2012 Closing Ceremony, boasting he was asked to perform first, but turned organisers down

17/8/12 16:48:14

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: ALASDAIR MORTON alasdair.morton@tntmagazine.com

Bottoms up and fingers crossed for the lucky new millionaires

The modest millionaires show the value of money

Photos: Getty

Let’s hope their swimming pool doesn’t contain sharks

Becoming a millionaire overnight might change your perspective. Becoming a multi-millionaire to the tune £148m might change your life even more, you might presume. Not so for the Bayfords, who picked up this amount in last week’s EuroMillions jackpot, and who have remained defiantly and proudly grounded ever since, inspiring us all to see that money really does not mean everything.

What would I do with a million pounds? A question that can prompt most imaginations to run riot with lavish flights of fancy as to how they would live their life were money no obstacle. For the lucky couple, Adrian and Gillian, the answer is simple: take an easyJet flight to Scotland for a caravan holiday with the family. No caviar and no butler bringing champagne on demand. Sure, they got a private helicopter from their hotel to Stansted airport four miles away, but this was paid for by lottery organisers Camelot.

Far from being stingy, the Bayfords are determined this money, which posits them as the 516th richest people in the country, will not change them and, more importantly, that their two young children will not be spoilt and become monied materialists. This reason was, in part, behind their initial decision to keep their identities a secret. Hopefully their decision to change their mind won’t win them unwanted attention.

They have spoken of their modest intentions – a new kitchen, a trip to the Canadian Rockies. The money will benefit their friends and family, with children’s charities also high on their list to help. Gillian will quit her hospital job, but Adrian’s sticking with the secondhand record store he runs, ambitions to expand now a possibility. Yet with so much money – interest alone amounts to £8000 per day – it is hard not see vultures in their future.

A long-lost brother from Adrian’s father’s previous marriage has already emerged, swearing no interest in the windfall, just happiness to have new-found family. The Bayfords’ intentions are inspiring and noble – let’s hope no one seeks to take advantage of that. » Should the Bayfords have kept their identity a secret? letters@tntmagazine.com

LOCOG CAN’T GET TICKETING RIGHT After bungling the Olympics ticketing – the official website crashed as millions tried for tickets, only for oodles of seats to be left empty when the Games kicked off – Locog have found themselves in hot water again with the Paralympics.

Restrictions have stipulated that wheelchair users are only allowed one adult to accompany them in the wheelchair area at many venues, meaning families will be split, with parents unable to sit with their children in some instances.

“

It goes against the Paralympics essence

”

This discriminatory practice goes against the very essence of the Paralympics, but when the event is marketed as ‘the most inclusive and accessible’ Games, such an attitude becomes unfathomable.

The Olympics was a success for the UK, but it would be a shame were Locog to drop the ball now. Sort it out – make London’s Paralympic Games a spectacle to inspire the rest of the world.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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War on tobacco Court ruling paves the way for new packaging. But will graphic images put you off? WORDS CAROL DRIVER

It’s been hailed a tremendous victory for non-smokers around the world. Last week, Australia’s High Court dismissed a challenge by big tobacco companies to government plans to change cigarette packaging. It means, as of December 1, Australia will become the first country in the world to require packets to be unglamorous, with plain-olive colouring, featuring shock-factor graphic health warnings and no logos. Britain, New Zealand and South Africa are now considering similar measures.

British American Tobacco, Japan Tobacco International, Philip Morris and Imperial Tobacco Australia are the companies that were fighting the decision, and will have to pay the Commonwealth’s legal costs, which could run into millions. The High Court rejected their argument that the value of their trademarks will be destroyed if they are no longer able to display their distinctive colours, brand designs and logos on packs of cigarettes.

“Many other countries around the world ... will take heart from the success of this decision today,” said attorneygeneral Nicola Roxon, whose father, a smoker, died of cancer when she was 10. “Governments can take on big tobacco and win and it’s worth countries looking again at what the next appropriate step is for them.”

Roxon urged big tobacco to now “accept the decision of the umpire” and drop international efforts to curb plain packaging. “This [victory] will only improve the government’s ability to defend strongly any actions that are taken in international forums,” she said.

And Australia’s health minister, Tanya Plibersek, followed suit, dedicating the court victory to big tobacco’s victims.

“For anyone who has lost someone to smoking – this one’s for you,” she said.

Many see the move as another step towards banning smoking in all public places – although with smokers accounting for 17 per cent of the population in Australia, 50

and high taxes of $16 (£10) for a pack of 25 cigarettes, the question has been raised as to how the government would replace that income.

Australia has already outlawed smoking in restaurants and bars. And this week, New South Wales passed laws extending that to playgrounds, sports grounds, swimming pool as well as bus and train stations (see box, right).

But, while non-smokers celebrate, claiming it will save lives and prevent younger generations from picking up packs of ciggies in the first pace, pro-smoking groups say the new packaging, which will show images of cancer-riddled mouths,

“

Why not ban cigs if they’re lethal?

”

blinded eyeballs and sick children in hospital beds, won’t make any difference to sales.

Simon Clark, director of pro-smoking group Forest, which runs the Hands Off Our Packs campaign, said: “We support all reasonable attempts to discourage children from smoking, but putting cigarettes in plain packs is pointless.

“There is no evidence to support the claim that plain packaging will prevent children from taking up smoking.

“Putting cigarettes in standardised packs is tantamount to state-sponsored bullying. It is yet another attempt to denormalise a legal product and stigmatise those who consume it.”

Clark also urged the UK government not to follow the example set by Australia. “Over 235,000 people have signed the Hands Off Our Packs petition against plain packaging,” he added. “There is also opposition from retailers and shop

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Clockwise: the new packaging; will it encourage smokers to quit; attorney-general Nicola Roxon

Photos: Getty

workers, plus serving and retired police officers, who are concerned about counterfeiting and the sale of illicit tobacco, which plain packaging is likely to encourage.”

The High Court ruling comes after a survey revealed just 28 per cent of people believe plain packaging will deter young people from smoking.

Usurv quizzed 1000 people (36 per cent of which were smokers) in the UK, with 85 per cent saying it wouldn’t help smokers to kick the habit.

TNT opened up the debate on our Facebook page, asking whether the new packaging will stop more people from smoking. And asking if people should be allowed to make their own choices about their health.

“I don’t see how plain packaging will make much difference,” Bee At Mammalarocca wrote: “People should be free to make their own health choices so long as they don’t impact those around them and as long as they are prepared to pay personally for health consequences.”

Bianca R Vieira said: “Drugs will kill you and so will cigarettes. Why not make cigarettes illegal if they’re lethal, too? Or is it because cigarettes are a long-term killer?”

And Andrew Henderson summed up his views with the succinct comment: “Nanny state strikes again!”

With one in every 20 hospital beds in England occupied by a patient with a smoking-related illness, and 1260 adults admitted to hospital everyday due to the habit, officials are pushing for something to be done to unburden the NHS, and improve the health of younger generations.

But whether the new marketing requirements of plain packaging for cigarette packets make a difference to the number of teenagers smoking remains to be seen. » Will the plain packaging encourage smokers to quit? Should the UK

GAMBLERS ESCAPE LAW NO BAN IN GAMING AREAS Outdoor gaming areas and high rollers’ rooms at Sydney’s Star casino will remain exempt from antismoking laws coming into force next year.

In a “groundbreaking” move, from July 2015, smoking will be banned in outdoor areas such as bus stops, train stations, taxi ranks, swimming pools and within 10m of children’s play equipment.

However, clubs and pubs may allow smoking in gaming rooms if 75 per cent of the area is uncovered.

And a Labor amendment to include The Star casino (pictured) was voted down in state parliament.

A smoking ban would be a big blow to attracting wealthy high rollers. It would also damage the owner’s push to build a ‘six-star’ hotel on Sydney’s Barangaroo site. The government said it was assured no worker would be forced to work in the high rollers’ room.

However, critics said profits were put being health.

follow suit? Tell us your views – letters@tntmagazine.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTNEWS

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Quite the entrance: it seems everyone is aping the Yohan Blake/ Usain Bolt pre-event poses these days. Unfortunatley for Thomas DeCou of NFL side Atlanta Falcons, he looks more like a constipated oompa loompa as he’s intoduced to the crowd

NOT-SO-SUPER LIONS BECOME EXTINCT RUGBY The Lions have been dropped from next year’s Super Rugby competition to make way for new South African team the Southern Kings.

The Lions, who finished last in 2012, were relegated so the Eastern Cape side can join the 15-team competition.

SARU president Oregan Hoskins said: “The Kings franchise represents more clubs than any other region – apart from the Stormers – and contains numerous leading rugby schools. It has been starved of topclass competition.”

There has been ongoing political pressure to promote the Kings. Eastern Cape boasts the largest number of black players in the country and some officials from the ruling ANC party have expressed unhappiness at what they believed was the neglect of the sport in the region.

BUSTED BELARUSIAN LASHES OUT AT KIWI ATHLETICS

Drug cheat shotputter Nadzeya Ostapchuk has verbally attacked New Zealand’s Valerie Adams after being stripped of her Olympic gold medal.

Ostapchuk (an anagram of ‘A shock put’, incidentally) claimed doping was the real reason Adams was left off the start list at London2012, not an administrative error by the New Zealand Olympic Committee.

“She had a positive drug test in 2005,” the Belarusian claimed. “We will see how all of this will end, including for her.”

Adams denied the claims, requesting an end to what her management described as “slander”. Ostapchuk, meanwhile, vowed to work alone on an investigation to uncover a wide-ranging “conspiracy”.

52

PLAYER POACHING RULES TIGHTENED

BIG WEEK FOR ...

AFL

This weekend’s Bledisloe Cup Test (Sat, Sky Sports 1, 8am) will be Sonny Bill Williams’s final game in the All Black strip for some time.

It could be his last in Kiwi colours for a while too, with some pundits saying he’d consider playing league for Australia if it gave him a shot at Origin. Surely not, but you never know with SBW. Whatever, he’ll be aiming to play the game of his life and leave rugby with his head held high, and the door to a return before the next World Cup ajar. He’ll be willed on by a vocal Eden Park crowd, eager for a last look at a true superstar.

The AFL has warned clubs they face £66,000 fines if they breach new rules regarding poaching of players.

Previously, the only way a player could sign a deal with a different club while still under contract was in the ‘off-season window’, where offers could be made to players before the start of the final year of their existing deal.

Now, while clubs can still negotiate with players, no binding deals can be agreed outside a three-week ‘free agency window’ at the end of each season.

Clubs who are discovered to have made a binding agreement with a player outside that window face the hefty fine.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Since I taught Ronaldo in 2009, he has gone on to score 40 goals a season. I don’t think he would have scored them all without me Usain Bolt reveals exactly why Christiano Ronaldo has become one of the world’s top two footballers. Bolt to replace Fergie?

Brett Delaney on the charge

PREVIEW Challenge Cup final

LEEDS RHINOS V WARRINGTON WOLVES SATURDAY, 2.30PM, BBC ONE

This may the best British rugby league has to offer, but there are a few Antipodeans lurking round the field.

For Warrington, strike weapons the Monaghan brothers are a couple of class acts. Since Joel joined the club in 2011, he’s made 52 appearances for the Wolves, scoring 48 tries, and Michael grows as a senior player with each passing season.

At fullback, former Wests Tigers

player Brent Hodgson has maintained his excellence since leaving Australia, and scored 17 points in a man-of-the-match semi-final display against Huddersfield.

For Leeds, former Kiwi international Brent Webb will be itching to go after a rough time with injury and suspension.

And hard-tackling second-rower Brett Delaney, formerly of NRL’s Gold Coast Titans, feared his Cup dream was over after damaging his thumb. He should play through the pain, however, delivering big hits all over the field.

This game will be a cracker. Tune in.

THE CHAT | What’s KP all in a fuss about?

There’s about as much chance of re-signing DJ Campbell as there is of me wearing high heels and calling myself Sheila Ian Holloway won’t be welcoming DJ Campbell back to Bloomfield Road. Thank the stars – no one wants to see that

I tried to bounce back and recover; I’ve done great, I have to say A few recent losses don’t seem to have bothered Serbian tennis star Novac Djokovic, even if he does say so himself

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

FOOTBALL one of England’s cricketing Saffas Q Ithasappears gone a bit rogue. What’s got up Kevin Pietersen’s nose these days?

Pietersen, who’s always fancied himself, sent a A Outspoken few text messages to the South African squad, bagging out his England teammate Andrew Strauss and coach Andy Flower. To make matters worse, a fake Twitter account – KP Genius – was set up in his name to mock him, tweeting such gems as: ‘Which cricketer in your view would have made a great Olympian and in which discipline? KP – in all of them #genius.’ A friend of bowler Stuart Broad admitted responsibility, although Broad denies feeding him anything. A united dressing room for the Poms, then ...

Real Madrid v Barcelona Time for the El Clàsico Thursday, 8.55pm. Sky Sports 1

RUGBY Argentina v South Africa Can Los Pumas do some damage?

Saturday, 4pm. Sky Sports 4

FOOTBALL Liverpool v Man City ‘I know it was you’

The champs arrive at Anfield Sunday, 4pm. Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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17/8/12 15:06:03

The hardman Wheelchair rugby player Ryley Batt is on the hunt for glory WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

In full flight, Ryley Batt is an impressive sight, a human wrecking ball of aggression, speed and skill propelled by powerful, tattooed arms and with no compunction about slamming into his opponents in order to impose himself.

And when he does, it’s his adversaries who come off second best. On the wheelchair rugby court, Batt’s fierce competitive spirit stands out, a beacon of determination and domination. It’s this that makes the Australian 23-year-old his sport’s most captivating player.

The Port Macquarie local, in London hoping to lead Australia to gold at the 2012 Paralympic Games, which start on August 29, is the lynchpin of his side, striking fear into opponents’ hearts wherever he plays. Batt has no legs, but he’s not afraid to tip out of his chair and land on the ground if it means securing victory for the green and gold.

“I am an aggressive player,” Batt admits. “When I’m off court, I’m a nice guy, but when I’m on court, I’m just a totally different person. I just want to have the ball and be the most dominant player out there.”

It wasn’t always like this. Born without lower limbs, Batt resisted the use of a wheelchair for the first 12 years of his life, instead preferring to get around via prosthetic legs and a skateboard. “I didn’t like the idea of being in a wheelchair, thought it was for ‘disabled’ people,” he remembers. “I was born like this, so I don’t really know what it was like to walk and I’ve adapted fine.”

A wheelchair rugby demonstration at his school piqued the then 12-year-old’s interest. He decided to abandon his prejudices and give it a go. Three years later he was representing his country at Athens.

“Getting into the sport was fantastic,” he says. “It opened a new life for me, to train everyday and keep motivated and know that you’re playing for your country in a sport is an unreal thing.”

54

While being the star in the Australian side, Batt is the first to admit he wasn’t in the best shape for the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, where his team was beaten to gold by the US. There’s been no chance of shortcuts leading into London.

“Look, I don’t think I’ve trained as hard in my life as I have this year and I’m feeling good and I’m ready and I’m excited and mentally strong for it,” he says. “I can see the excitement of the younger players around the team and I just can’t wait for it to begin, actually.”

That’s good news for the Australians. In wheelchair basketball, each player has a classification, based on their disability. Batt is rated as a ‘high pointer’, his 3.5 points forming the bulk of the combined eight a team can field at any one time.

However, his unparalleled power and manoeuvrability has attracted criticism, most notably from former Great Britain wheelchair rugby athlete Justin Frishberg.

Frishberg is something of a Paralympics purist, preferring to see wheelchair rugby remain the preserve of those with spinal injuries, those unable to compete at the Paralympics’ other popular sport, wheelchair basketball.

“I think he is probably too good to play wheelchair rugby,” Frishberg said of Batt earlier this year. “Obviously he’s expensive for the Australian team, but it takes more than 3.5 points to nail him down. Sometimes it takes three players.

“Come London 2012, if Ryley is dominating games on his own, then it takes away from the team element of the sport which is so important to us.”

Batt diplomatically says he takes such criticism as a compliment, pleased that his presence is creating doubt in his opponents’ minds. However, it won’t affect his performance. rmanc mance mance. man ance.

“Every sport’s got their politics and people justt wan want wa wa antt to t stir the pot, I guess. I’ve been classified, I’m in n the th the h game,” gam game, game ” he says. “A lot of other players have the same ame me e function, func functio if no not ott

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Photos: Pho Phot s: G Ge Getty

Ryley Batt: wheelchair rugby’s most dominant player is ready to take gold

more function than me. I think people are worried about the game style we pay, Other countries don’t necessarily play like that. Some teams do manage to contain me, so other sides will just have to work it out and do it for themselves.”

Batt is confident of taking gold in London, describing the Australian side as a ‘tight-knit, determined’ bunch who also know how to have fun. But he also remembers the lessons of Beijing, and remains wary of all opponents, singling out one in particular for special attention.

“Over the last decade, America has been the team we’ve struggled against. They’ve got the depth over there. Their national league has about 36 teams, but in Australia it’s five or six teams,” he says. “Every other team we’ve beaten consistently over the past five or six years, but not the Americans. But look, we have to get that final first.”

The three-time Paralympian is more than aware of the significance of his high profile. As the Games grow in stature with each passing four years, Batt becomes more of a role model, not just for those in a similar situation to himself, but also for able-bodied people, who are inspired by his attitude.

“I do school talks a couple of time a week now. I try and do as many as I can,” he says “I talk to the kids about the ability of people in wheelchairs. I give them the rundown and show them what we can do and can’t do. They really love it and so do I.” His own role model is motorcross superstar Travis Pastrana, and true to his skateboarding roots, Batt keeps it extreme when he’s off the court, taking part in motorbike and quad bike riding. He’s hopeful that one day, he’ll get to showcase his skills in that area in a competitive environment.

“If there was a Paralympic X Games, I’d be the first one in there,” he says. “I love that extreme adrenaline rush sort of stuff. It really suits me, but, for now, it’s just wheelchair rugby … and winning in London.” ru

COOLEST MAN ON WHEELS? MEET DYLAN ALCOTT Ryley Batt has a competitor for the title of ‘coolest guy in a wheelchair’. Basketballer Dylan Alcott (above) was just 17 when he was part of the gold medal-winning Australian team in Beijing. Two years later, he was named in the sports World All Star Five at the World Championships as the Aussie took the title.

Alcott, cemented his national fame status in Australia when he crowdsurfed in his wheelchair at a 2011 Queens Of The Stone Age concert in Melbourne.

Lead singer Josh Homme saw the 20-year-old and invited him to watch the rest of the set from the stage, describing Alcott as “one badass motherfucker.”

For the moment, though, Alcott’s focuss is strictly stri stric strictl rictly ctly ly y on o retaining gold for his team as he showcases howcas howca wcases ases sess his hiiss range rra rang ange nge ge of skills at London 2012 – the stage he biggest bigg bigges ggest gest stt sta sttage age ge eo off his his llif life life. ife. e.

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: OLI JONES

oliver.jones@tntmagazine.com

What, no monochrome striped trousers? Boo!

Arsenal fans need to grow up, RVP owes them nothing Reactions to Van Persie transfer will overshadow season opening

» Agree or disagree? Are Arsenal fans right to be angry at RVP? letters@tntmagazine.com 56

We all knew London 2012 was going to be an outrageous success, didn’t we? Deep down?

We all played it cool before the Games, we all pretended it was going to be a disaster, but that’s what we Brits do.

The classic collective ruse where we tactically subdue everyone’s expectations, before smashing it out of the park.

And while the Games themselves were, to speak frankly, the absolute nuts, the notion on which we sold the London Olympics, that of a sporting legacy for kids, has been shown to be little more than a cynical marketing ploy.

“

Talk of legacy shown to be just lip service

”

This week it was revealed that Michael Gove, going against expert advice five times, authorised the selling off of 30 school fields across Britain.

The Games showed that sport is for everyone. But as usual Michael Gove’s everyone, means everyone who can afford it. And everyone else? Who cares?

Photos: Getty

They’re an odd bunch Arsenal fans. Not quite on the Scientologists, Moonies scale, but with a similar persecution complex. Seeing their histrionic, self-pitying response to the transfer of Robin Van Persie to Manchester United really made me question a long-held personal belief, a maxim I turn to every time I hear about the unsavoury behaviour of football fans: the belief that fundamentally every football club’s fans are the same.

There was something genuinely sad about the raft of videos that hit YouTube showing Arsenal fans burning their Van Persie shirts after RVP’s £23m swap to United was confirmed. The bile spouted on Twitter about and towards the Dutchman was enough to see people imprisoned: death threats, threats to his family, rape fantasies, the lot. I’m not saying any of the cretins behind this shit, and it is shit, had any intention of carrying out their threats, but it’s these kind of thoughtless witterings that help to shape the backdrop of hostility and casual violence that taints the game for so many of us. Arsenal fans aren’t at fault for that. Football’s antisocial problems are more deep-rooted, and have, in fairness to the FA, been well-combated during the last two decades.

More mature Arsenal fans proffered the view that Gunners ought not go too hard on RVP, they had, after all, received £23m for a player of 29 with a significant history of longterm injuries, who only had a year left on his contract. And while that is certainly a more rational response, it is still an attempt at mitigation where none is required.

Van Persie owes Arsenal nothing. Their fans should frame his shirt and demand a commemorative RVP DVD, lest they forget the multitude of belters he’s scored for them.

The negativity surrounding Van Persie’s departure could overshadow what should be the best start to a Premier League season for Arsenal for years. Arsene Wenger has recruited superbly this summer. I hope Arsenal start strongly – if only to stop their incessant whining.

OLYMPIC LEGACY HYPOCRISY

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Clockwise: Nathan Smith in training; in June this year; Gunner and Mask 58

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Time to shine A new generation of New Zealand Paralympians descends on London with their sights set on podium-placing excellence

Photos: Getty

WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

The London 2012 Paralympic Games are the biggest yet – more tickets have been sold than for any other Paralympics, with a record number of competitors from across the world travelling to the UK to compete. With the recent Olympics considered one of the best ever, all eyes and expectations will be on the Paralympians. No pressure, then.

“We actually have a team psychologist that has been discussing that with us,” New Zealand Paralympic cycling medal hope Nathan Smith, 34, reveals of NZ’s preparations from his north Italy training camp. “He’s just been to the Olympics and the Velodrome and he said: ‘I can’t tell you to shut out the crowd, you’re just going to have to realise it’s out of your control. Focus on what you can control, your training, how you’re going to approach the race and trust what you’ve been doing the last few months’.”

For Smith, as well as the other 26 members of NZ’s Paralympics squad, the last few months have been a slog of hard work to give them the best possible chance of achieving their London 2012 goals.

“Since we had the [UCI Paracycling] World Champs in February in LA, it’s been six days a week, with monthly velodrome camps. Fitting in a full-time job too is tough.”

Paralympics New Zealand’s ‘Xcellerate 2 Xcellence’ project, launched in 2009 after Beijing, identified and shepherded promising talents towards London 2012, Smith among its protégés. The months of preparation, and the two-week Italian training camp, have given him a platform to launch for medal glory, London providing a better opportunity for the 34-year-old than Beijing did four years ago.

“I missed out [then] as I had a few crashes on the track, and I also found out that my wife was going to have our first baby on the week of the Games,” he recalls of his decision not to put himself up for 2008’s Olympics.

“I am a lot more confident now than I was then. Leading up to Beijing, I wasn’t going to have a shot at the medals.

But this year, I am a good shot to get on the podium in the C3 pursuit, and also in the time trial and the road race, too.”

Smith, like many Paralympic competitors, came to his sport after an accident. In his case, a 2006 road collision in Oxford left him an above-the-knee amputee. “I needed a sport to compete in after I couldn’t play rugby anymore.

After riding with some friends, I found out I was just as fast as them so I joined a club back in New Zealand. I’d always ridden a bike but this was a chance to take it more seriously.”

Sharing Smith’s drive for competition and continuing with sport after a life-altering injury is Anthea Gunner, 30, making her Paralympics debut as part of the team’s twin-pronged

equestrian charge with Rachel Stock. “I didn’t know anything about para-equestrian until I broke myself,” Gunner tells us from her UK training base. “It was one of those freak things.

In 2006, I was leading my horse back to the paddock when he flipped and we both fell. I landed on a rock and damaged my spinal cord.

“Riding was the one thing I was determined not to give up. We found the website for Canadian rider Lauren Barwick, who had a similar injury. She was aiming for Beijing then and I realised that was possible. It became my new goal. I started

“

I was determined not to give up riding

”

riding at the Riding for the Disabled Association and got my horse, Mask, in late 2007. We had our first competition three months later and now here we are in London.”

Gunner was selected in April to compete, and confesses getting to the starting line has been an achievement alone.

“I thought we were a couple of years behind the level we needed,” she says. “So I’m happy to be here. I want to give my best, and do well to secure some government funding.”

Funding for many Paralympians remains a hard-fought battle. Combining full-time jobs – Gunner’s a PA, Smith a pharmacist – with fundraising and clocking up the training hours means there’s precious little time left in the day.

Starting out, most training and competition is self-funded, too, and for Gunner this was a challenge. There’s not much money for para-equestrian yet, nor any qualifying events in New Zealand either, forcing the 30-year-old to self-finance £10,000 trips from Christchurch to Australia to get started.

Smith, too, faced a similar situation. “My first world event in 2010 was all self-funded,” he says. “But because I got in the top six in the time trial, [sports foundation] High Performance Sport New Zealand started to help out with travelling to events and equipment.”

London 2012 marks the culmination of years of hard work for Smith, Gunner and the team. With 17 of NZ’s athletes making their Paralympic debut, too, it’s time for a new generation to shine.

The London 2012 Paralympic Games begin August 29 and will be broadcast on Channel 4

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

MEXICAN MOVES Hundreds of traditional Mexican dancers perform for the annual International Mariachi Fair in Guadalajara, Mexico.

Photos: Getty, Matt Risley, Austrian Tourist Board, Mount Gay Rum

INSIDE

GET HIGH /64

MAKE IT SCHNAPPY /76

THE REAL RUM DIARY /82

Strap on a motorised propeller and a parachute, cross your fingers, and prepare for take-off. This is paramotoring 101.

The Austrian mountains aren’t just for snowbunnies. We hit the peaks for summer action and something to steady the nerves.

From rum shops to hangovers and sailing, there’s more to Barbados than its luxury resorts and endless beaches.

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb

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Joust! Get medieval in East Sussex

ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

JUDGE AND JURY I was going to start this column by saying I don’t like being judgemental.

But that would be like Hugh Hefner professing an indifference to bigchested blondes. I judge people – constantly – on their travel habits.

The way a person holidays says more about them than their clothes, hair, music collection, or, most emphatically, star sign. Whether you go all-inclusive, five-star or hostelling indicates far more than your budget.

MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL Herstmonceux Castle, East Sussex Get your geek on at this merry medieval gathering, where you can watch archery and jousting tournaments, and check out a re-enactment 25-27 of a 15th-century siege with more than 1000 knights, men-at-arms and bowmen. Then wander the medieval markets selling wares from gaudy goblets to battle armour and indulge in medieval feasting (think beer taverns and hog roast).

AUG

WHY: To celebrate English history in all its glory – by fighting, eating and drinking.

That might sound very much like modernday Britain, but a year of preparations are put into making this fest as authentic and action-packed as possible, with costumes and parades aplenty.

TEUILA FESTIVAL

mgel.com

ROODHARIGEN

Samoa

Breda, Netherlands

A countrywide celebration of Samoan culture, with 2-8 knife-dancing, longboat racing and tattooing on display. The biggest and best of the fest will be on in the Samoan capital of Apia.

Gingers of the world: unite!

More than 5000 people 1-2 will travel to Breda to celebrate their flaming barnets this weekend. Whether it be shoulder length, spiky, a ‘tache, or a beard, all come to show off their tresses at this ‘Ginger Pride’ parade. There are even open-air screenings of movies starring famous redheads. Note that blondes and brunettes are also welcome – but it’s red locks that are truly hot at this event.

SEP

samoa.travel

LISDOONVARNA MATCHMAKING FESTIVAL Lisdoonvarna, County Clare, Ireland

The small Irish spa town of Lisdoonvarna will welcome 31 more than 20,000 singles looking to find their perfect match at what is billed as the largest singles festival in Europe. Along with love, organisers promise “five weekends of craic”. On throughout September.

AUG

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DO IT BECAUSE: Sure, there are some people here who take it all waaaaay too seriously (run far, far away from anyone who says “hail and well met!”), but it all makes for a fun and photogenic trip back in time. If there’s mead on offer, take it steady.

SEP

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STEAM SHOW

Isle of Wight, England AUG

24-27

Ride the Isle of Wight’s steam railway and check out a collection of vintage motors.

iwsteamrailway.co.uk

Photos: Getty

Which is why I’m judging the entire British public this week, and ruing the absence of a generously proportioned mallet with which to dole out some well-deserved whacks to the head.

According to a survey of 2000 people by YouGov, the holiday rip-offs that piss off Brits most are mobile roaming charges, the cost of hiring sun loungers, and overpriced food at tourist attractions.

These were not small portions of people complaining. Six in 10 cited the roaming charges, more than 25 per cent the sun loungers, and more than a third the costly grub.

This does not inspire me to commiserate with hordes of harddone-by holidaymakers. Instead, it leads me to conclude that most Brits abroad are to be found either on the phone, among pink-bodied regiments colonising packed-out resort beaches, or paying £25 for a floppy burger and a watery Coke at whichever uninspiring tourist trap is closest to the Eiffel Tower/ St Mark’s Square/ Coliseum.

This drives me nuts. It also demonstrates that the wilful waste of a holiday on the part of so many isn’t down to just ignorance, but a determined dollop of stupidity, too.

Because really, how hard is it to solve these problems? Leave the phone at home. Take a towel. Don’t eat at the tourist attraction.

There, judgement passed.

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“Suckers this way, please ... “

FLIGHT RECRUIT SCAM An investigation has been opened into a ‘fake’ airline that is advertising for staff and asking new recruits to pay a £75 training registration fee upfront. The website of Fair Airways, which bills itself as a ‘Royal UK airline’, claims its corporate address is in Taunton, Somerset. The man who lives at the stated address, however, said he knew nothing of it. The Civil Aviation Authority also reported it had never heard of the airline, prompting trading standards officials to begin an inquiry into who is running the website. Team manager Andy Fowler told the BBC: “The thought of basing a UK Royal Airline ... in a market town in Somerset is not perhaps a realistic one.”

Photos: Thinkstock

IKEA DESIGN HOTELS Who better to open a new line of budget hotels than Scandinavian furniture-mart Ikea? The flatpack peddler has announced plans to open 100 low-cost hotels across Europe, billing the proposed properties as affordable but with a boutique feel. However, holidaymakers are unlikely to find themselves checking in to bright blue buildings with the signature banana-yellow Ikea sign – the retailer will enrol the services of an established hotel operator to run them.

Ikea is also reportedly considering building student residences. Well, may as well cut out the middleman and Ikea them up from the off, eh?

CONCORDIA TOURISM Giglio, the site of the sinking of the Costa Concordia, is experiencing a tourism boom thanks to visitors keen on photographing the submerged ship. The wreck of the cruise liner, which sank in January and killed at least 30, can still be seen off the coast of the island, near Tuscany. Giglio mayor Sergio Ortelli said: “There has been a rise in the number of tourists coming for the day, with curious people taking photos of the giant sprawled on the rocks.” But he added the island would “prefer tourism that’s based on the sea and the environment”. Any worse than the disaster tourists cruising the Titanic route?

TASTE A BRUM ‘BOLT-I’ We’re not the only people extolling the virtues of Birmingham this week (see P80). Olympic legend Usain Bolt has given Brum a boost after praising the city in which he was based ahead of the Games, prompting a restaurant to create a twist on Birmingham’s signature balti dish – a ‘Bolt-i’. The tribute to the gold medallist, created at Imran’s Restaurant, features Jamaican jerk chicken, rice and peas along with the balti’s standard spice. Bolt said of the Brummies: “The Birmingham people were extremely great to us. Thank you guys – you helped us come out here and do our best.”

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Wind power: you have to parascend before you can paramotor

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Paramotoring

Le Petit Poisson is Herne Bay’s premier fish joint, using fresh local ingredients.

Salivate over the likes of panfried skate with nut brown butter and capers. Steak is on hand for fishphobes. Mains from £14. lepetitpoisson.co.uk

HERNE BAY, KENT

For not only the area’s best Indian, but possibly the county’s, don’t miss out on Shad Restaurant. Mains from £6. shadhernebay.co.uk Find a warm welcome and maritime feel, right on the coastline, at Victorian-era The Divers Arms. Look out for the old brass diving helmet. Pints from £2.50. diversarms.co.uk

ENGLAND

LONDON Herne Bay

GETTING THERE Trains run from London Victoria to Herne Bay every 30 minutes. Return tickets from £25.90 when booked in advance. southeasternrailway.co.uk

The Wine Bar offers wine and nibbles in comfy, intimate surroundings. Glass of wine from £5. (85 Mortimer Street, Herne Bay, tel. 01227 368388) For those looking for a swankier approach to B&Bing, try The Priory B&B. Rooms come with free wifi and Sky TV as standard. Rooms from £65pn. thepriorybandb.co.uk The Bayview Hotel offers front-facing seaviews galore, plus free wifi. Double rooms from £45pn. (86 Central Parade, Herne Bay, tel. 01227 741458)

A big fan: the writer gives paramotoring the thumbs up 64

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UKTRIP

Get high Strap on a motorised propeller and a parachute, cross your fingers, and prepare for take-off ...

Photos: Matt Risley

WORDS MATT RISLEY

I may not be too keen on the over-the-trouser Y-fronts and skintight spandex, but if there’s one thing I’ve always envied about Superman, it’s the way he can fly like an easily mistaken bird. So it’s no surprise that, in pursuit of the airborne buzz, I now find myself plummeting 30ft towards the ground, flailing to control my parachute and avoid crashing into the giant motor-powered fan beneath me.

Welcome to Paramotoring 101.

Take parascending (float through the air using a parachute and thermals), add a giant motorised and caged propeller on your back, and ta-da! You have an airborne sport that can allow take-off even when you have no wind, and a full tank of gas to take you further – and at added bird-splatting speed (the motor I’m training with is a ‘smaller’ model, at a not insubstantial 80ccs).

The birth of paramotoring can be traced back to the SAS; variations on the ‘giant fan-propelled parachute’ design ushered in the bonkers sport in the early Nineties. Since then, pioneers have attempted flights from the UK to Timbuktu, and even Bear Grylls gave it a shot back in 2007, with a televised attempt to paramotor at the height of Everest.

As I sign away my life, I ask my instructor Jon if it’s totally legal. “Completely,” he assures me. “There are laws in place to ensure you don’t hit planes and such, but as it’s a deregulated sport, there are few cast-iron, law-breaking rules.”

Yep, paramotoring is one of the few airborne sports that has no official licence – anyone can do it. Taking that to mean it’s easy, I confidently strut after Jon as we head out on to the rolling green hills of the Kentish countryside, in the idyllic rural hideyhole of Hoath near Herne Bay. The first day of training is primarily theory, ensuring you’re able to get to grips with the basics of parascending (you have to learn to walk/ parascend before you can run/ paramotor). During the next 90 minutes, I learn the importance of wind strength and direction, practice the PLF (parachute landing fail), and brush up on the basics of the theory of flight (get up in the air, try not to plummet).

As we prepare for my first take-off technique, Jon waxes lyrical about the appeal of the sport: “It’s the closest to flying you’ll ever get. The British countryside doesn’t lend itself to parascending, but with a powered propellent that can be kickstarted at the touch of a button, you can get up in the air

anytime. Once, I remember flying around and noticing that there was a 747 beneath me. Sure, it was coming into land, but that was a bit nuts.”

It makes my feeble attempts to simply get off the ground feel all the more pathetic. I don’t often like to admit I can’t get it up, but as I stand on the slope of a hillside trying my first ever launch, I realise it’s undoubtedly harder than it looks. However, practice eventually makes, well, passable.

In between parachute-tugged impromptu cartwheels and roley poleys, I enjoy bursts of floating above the ground – at

“

I remember flying with a 747 beneath me

”

one point quite unconsciously screaming “wahoo!” when I manage to float 30ft in the air.

We move on to front-facing launches, and spend the next couple of hours perfecting ‘top to bottom’ runs (a gentle run at the top, a glide down, and back again), before progressing on to ‘bunny hops’ (run, fly, land and repeat).

The theory is that after two days’ training, you’ll get to cap off your intro course with a go on the Tandem Paramotor. Like skydiving, you’re in a double harness that allows you to experience the buzz with none of the responsibility. Alas, the weather’s against me this time, but Jon slaps the paramotor on my back, and lets me feel the force and pull of the motor spinning at top speed.

With the motor whirring behind me, I feel my feet start to lift off the ground.

I may not be flying through the sky like Superman just yet, but I’ve finally found something that makes me feel like I could. ❚

NEXT WEEK

Paramotoring lessons from £110 per day with Flyhigh Sky Sports flyhighskysports.com

Isle of Wight: Exploring England in miniature

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SPAIN A seven-day round trip from Madrid is £329pp (save £140) with Busabout (08450 267576; busabout.com). Visiting Cordoba, Seville, Lagos, Granada, and more.

Includes guide, accommodation, orientation walks in each town.

Excludes flights. Departs September 8.

MOROCCO A 10-day Christmas & New Year tour is £339pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (020 80998852; traveltalktours.com).

Visiting Marrakech, Casablanca, Fes, and more. Includes accommodation, some meals, tour guides, and more.

Excludes flights and local payment. Book

by August 31. Departs December 25.

KEFALONIA Seven nights is £339pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes half-board accommodation at the four-star Apostolata Island Resort & Spa and flights from London Gatwick.

Departs on October 13.

> £500 EUROPE A seven-day trip from Split to Prague is £359pp (save £89pp) with Busabout (08450 267576; busabout.com). Visiting Croatia, Slovenia, Austria and Czech Republic. Includes guide, multi-share accommodation, breakfasts, wine and cheese tasting, orientation walks.

Excludes flights. Departs September 1.

GREECE An eight-day Bodrum to Mykonos tour is now £524pp (save 30 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes seven nights on a boat, some meals, tour leader and crew. Excludes flights, port tax and local payment.

Book by August 31; departs Sept 2.

SRI LANKA A seven-night, allinclusive trip is £799pp with Bridge the World (0800 9886884; bridgetheworld.com). Includes accommodation at the Mermaid Hotel and flights from Heathrow. Book by August 27; departs November 30.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

MONEY TRANSFERS Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa.

TRANSFER FEES FROM £1 For live transfer rates, visit tntforex.com or call 0870 898 8996

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AMSTERDAM A two-night August Bank Holiday package is £169pp with PP Travel (020 79309999; pptravel.com). Includes return coach to Amsterdam, two nights’ B&B accommodation, canal and bike tours.

Departs August 24.

EUROPE A Hop on/Hop off pass from Paris to Rome is £239.50pp (2-4-1) with Busabout (08450 267576; busabout.com). Options to visit Florence, Cinque Terre, Nice, Barcelona, Valencia, Madrid, Pamplona, San Sebastian, Bordeaux, and more.

Includes an every-second-day service from May to October, the choice to stay as long as you like in each destination, guides on all departures, and more.

Excludes flights. Departs anytime.

BUNOL Three-day packages for La Tomatina on August 29 from £145pp with PP Travel (020 79309999; pptravel.com). Includes accommodation, transfers to Bunol, preand post-Tomatina parties and T-shirt.

EGYPT A 15-day Ultimate Egypt Christmas & New Year tour is now £249pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Cairo, Pyramids of Cheops, Mount Sinai, Dahab, and more. Includes accommodation, some meals, and more.

Excludes flights and local payment.

Book by August 31; departs on December 18.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Captive Capturing captive animals, whether at the zoo, safari park or at home, can prove to be a challenging experience. The subject will probably move a lot and the light may be less than perfect. Before you go, try to research where the animals will be. It is also advisable to go to an attraction at quieter times, avoiding the weekends and

WINNER

school holidays, providing you with more options for places to shoot from and fewer distractions. At the zoo, try to capture your subject in as natural a place as possible. If your animal is tame enough, you could try to get close and shoot at eye level to capture an essence of their personality and gain some sense of emotion.

LOYAL GUARDIANS Marcin Gwizdon, Poland

WHY IT WORKS The white husky peers from between the weathered yellow bars of a doorway in the Colombian town of Salento, looking expectantly for its owner. A huge tourist attraction due to its traditional architecture and high altitude, Salento is the place for day-trippers to escape the heat of the cities. The peeling and worn paint gives a rustic look, but this hasn’t been distressed by an interior designer – these are the actual homes of the town’s inhabitants.

RUNNER-UP JULIET’S LOCKS Nick Vaiente, Gold Coast, Australia

RUNNER-UP

WHY IT WORKS Metallic blues and pinks mingle with the brass engravings of the padlocks located close to Juliet’s balcony in Verona, Italy.

The locks are placed by newlyweds, the keys thrown into the water, as a symbol to show their dedication for each other with a love that is locked forever. It’s a tribute of perhaps the greatest love story ever told.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

1

NOVELTY HOSTELS

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HOSTIVAL, WORLDWIDE

You’re in safe hands at the Hangover Hospital ...

At Hostival, the party is 100 per cent guaranteed. Why? Because, just like its backpacker clientele, Hostival is a nomad with an insatiable appetite for the world’s biggest and best festivals, and follows them around the globe.

The mobile hostel sets up at bucketlist events for the duration of the party, then packs up and heads off to the next fest. And no, this isn’t just a fancy way of saying ‘campsite’ – guests stay in 12bed dorms (admittedly under canvas), and there’s free wifi and a 24-hour reception desk.

However, the folks at Hostival are keen to point out that their temporary party digs are not five-star establishments with ensuites. Nor are they suited to “a romantic, quiet weekend away with the missus”.

“It’s basic,” the Hostival masterminds concede. “Bed. Toilet. Shower. What else do you need?”

Well, quite. It’s true that travellers spending their days chugging sangria in the streets of Pamplona or lighting the flames at Las Fallas are hardly in need of silk sheets at the end of the night.

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Hostival is a place to meet like-minded party animals and crash land when the adrenaline gives out. There are no butlers or chocolates on the pillow. But what this pop-up hostel can promise is fun, fun and more fun.

With that in mind, anyone hoping for a good night’s sleep is best off booking a B&B as far away from Hostival as they can possible retreat.

This is the stuff of organised pub crawls and club nights, set close to the centre of the action (never more than 15 minutes from the festivities, they promise). It’s capable of cramming in up to 500 up-for-it festival-hoppers a night. And at European fests, there’s a ‘Hangover Hospital’ theme, with staff dressed as saucy doctors and nurses.

Anyone looking to feel warm and fuzzy about their stay long after the booze has worn off can delight in Hostival’s claim that all furniture – newly procured before each pop-up – is donated to charity after the events.

Find Hostival at Rio Carnival, St Patrick’s Day, World Cup 2014 ... and more. hostivalonline.com

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LIVE OUT EVERY KID’S DREAM TO SLEEP IN A REAL TREEHOUSE OR SPEND A NIGHT IN OUR WELL APPOINTED BUNGALOWS

+ EXPERIENCE A VARIETY OF ACTIVITIES FOR THE ADVENTURER

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TheTreeHouse BACKPACKER HOSTEL

The TreeHouse Backpacker Hotel is a comfy bed and breakfast - youth hostel just 100km from Salzburg and 70km from Linz. Because it is located off the beaten track, The TreeHouse Backpacker Hostel is still one of the best kept backpacker secrets.

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Simply click go to www.tntmagazine.com/subscribe, fill in your details and we will process your subscription - job done! You should start to receive your weekly issue of TNT shortly. Don’t forget to answer one of the ABC questions at the bottom of the form otherwise we will be unable to process your subscription. *In order to comply with ABC (Audit Bureau of Circulation) terms of control, we must restrict free subscriptions to the above criteria.

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN Fit for a king

2

JUMBO STAY, STOCKHOLM

We love a silly gimmick here at TNT, which is why the chance to sleep in dorms on a converted 747-200 jumbo jet has us giddily gagging to spend a night in the cockpit.

Just 10 minutes from the checkin counters at Stockholm’s Arlanda Airport, two- and four-bed dorms have been squeezed into every available corner of the craft, with a luxury suite on the flight deck offering a surreal view over the airport. jumbostay.com

Photos: Getty, Lioba Schneider, travellerscave.com

4

EASTERN COMFORT, BERLIN

Climb aboard this hostelboat for a few nights on the river Spree. There are 25 cabins set over three decks, ranging from private doubles to six-bed dorms.

For the ultra-frugal, you can bring your own tent and camp on deck.

The boat is moored close to the East Side Gallery, a stretch of the fallen Berlin Wall that has been painted with works by artists from all over the world. The bobbing backpacker den is also close to Kreuzberg, the capital of cool’s most happening district. eastern-comfort.com

3

DORM CAVE, CAPPADOCIA

In the otherworldly town of Göreme, in the middle of Cappadocia’s fairy chimney rock formations, this hostel blends into the surroundings with its stone walls and cave-like arched rooms.

You’ll feel like you’re staying in one of Cappadocia’s underground grottos in this unique arrangement, although there’s a sun-drenched roof terrace on which to enjoy your traditional Turkish breakfast if things get too gloomy.

Hiking tours can also be arranged. travellerscave.com

5

HEDONISIA, HAWAII

This hippy-esque hostel in a volcanic rainforest invites guests to stay in an array of tents set on platforms or in barns. If you’re feeling flush, you can even stay in a campervan hidden in a grove of native Ohi’a trees.

Hedonisia also offers one of the most scenic toilet experiences a backpacker is ever likely to enjoy, with its open-air eco-loo set in a private tropical garden.

There are also outdoor ‘pee gardens’ without toilets – apparently a number of tropical plants “love to be peed on”.

HARTWELL HOUSE OVERVIEW This stately home in the Buckinghamshire countryside was formerly the home of King Louis XVIII of France when in exile here in the 19th century, and its rebirth as a hotel honours this regal lineage. The towering Grand Hall, cavernous drawing rooms, and 90 acres of gardens and parkland, with adjacent spa facilities (pool, gym, saunas) make it a destination in which to be lavished with luxury.

WOW FACTOR The rear terrace, on which you can sup bubbly while marvelling at the rolling fields and fastidiously manicured grounds, has a touch of the ‘secret garden’.

ROOMS Twin and double standard rooms (all wifi kitted, usual mod cons) as well as a truly stunning set of royal rooms and suites in each corner of the building.

The Royal Four Poster room, for example, boasts views of the grounds, armchairs, a sofa, ensuite bathroom, and is decorated with antique furniture and paintings.

BILL PLEASE Standard double rooms from £217pn, with use of spa facilities and breakfast.

hartwell-house.com

hedonisiahawaii.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

considering going to Venice for Q I’m a long weekend, but am concerned that it might be quite expensive. Have you got any advice on how to visit cheaply?

Paul, via email take advantage of the attractions A Firstly, you don’t have to pay for. Three of Venice’s

74

a holiday of the trip too. I’m visiting for just over a week and wondered what you recommend I should do while I’m there?

Michelle, via email is a gorgeous peninsula city set on A Helsinki the edge of the Baltic Sea, with numerous islands to explore. There’s a cool vibe with a great music and art scene. This year, it’s been named World Design Capital, and to mark this there are a host of events taking place in the city, including innovative design exhibitions. One of these is the Turn Table, an urban farm and restaurant set among railway engine sheds.

Helsinki’s top sights include Tuomiokirkko, a neoclassical bright-white cathedral, and the central market square of Kauppatori, where you’ll find the main quay for ferry services to the city’s islands. The island of Suomenlinna is a must see, just a 15-minute ferry ride away. In the 18th century, the island was fortified with walls, cannons and bunkers, which you can now explore. Bring a picnic if it’s a nice day, as there is plenty of green space on the island.

To explore the city, use the historical tram system or the city’s bike hire scheme. Easy-to-use and free, just deposit a €2 coin to release a bike from the stands, which you can reclaim when you return the bike. HSL (hsl.fi) operates the extensive network of buses, metros, trains and the Suomenlinna ferry. You can buy tickets for use across the network for as little as £2 for an hour.

MEN AND MACHINES When in Salzburg, if the Sound Of Music isn’t your thing, head out to Hangar-7. It’s about a 20- to 25-minute bus ride out of town, just before the airport. Check out everything from fighter jets to Formula 1 cars. And it’s free entry!

Ben Holt, via Facebook CHOCO LOCO In Vienna, go with the sachertorte (sinful Austrian chocolate cake and Viennese specialty) at Cafe Demel just down from Michaelerplatz. Awesome and so much better than the touristy versions, guaranteed!!

Rhys Armstrong, via Facebook

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This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

main sites have free entry, including the enormous cathedral in St Mark’s Square – the Basilica San Marco, the Rialto Market and the Ghetto (Jewish quarter). A number of art galleries offer free entry, including Galleria Traghetto (breakthrough local art) and le5venice (contemporary art). Shun pricey gondola rides for a traghetto, a public gondola that travels only a short distance across the canal, but is also a fraction of the cost of a private gondola at about 50p.

When it comes to food, never eat in the main tourist squares. The prices can be four times that of backstreet cafes and restaurants. Eat cicheti, Venetian tapas, found in bars at lunch and between 6pm-8pm. It is cheap (only a couple of pounds per serving) and a great way to fill up.

Accommodation prices can be high. Make sure you don’t time your visit during any of the city’s major events, such as the Carnevale in February, as prices will soar. Renting through home owners can be a cheaper way to the visit the city (airbnb.com), or check out some of the city’s budget accommodation a short walk from the tourist areas, such as hotel Locanda Sant’Anna, where prices start from as little as £35 per night for a double room.

off to visit a friend who lives in Q I’m Helsinki, but would like to make

READERS’ TIPS ON ... AUSTRIA

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

FETHIYE, TURKEY Laura Ramsay, from Australia

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

SHERINA ZAIN, 26

LINA MACEDO, 27

London, UK

Salvador, Brazil

BEST Santorini, Greece. It’s beautiful, wherever you go.

I saw the most amazing sunset in the world there. The locals are a bit rude, though. You don’t go there for the people. I think they’re fed up with tourists.

Most memorable travel experience?

New Zealand for a year. I’m from Brazil and it’s quite different. The Kiwis preserve the parks and nature more than us, and the people were kind and patient. In Brazil, the people aren’t so polite.

Worst travel experience?

Bolivia is beautiful, but the cities are dirty and the people are suffering. Because of that, I didn’t feel so comfortable.

Top travel tip?

Wear comfortable shoes.

WORST Going through immigration in Minneapolis. The customs officials accused me of being a suicide bomber and a hooker. They held me for about two hours and I almost missed my flight. » Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT

LUXURY LANGKAWI Save over £1900pp on a luxury break in Datai, Langkawi, and stay in a beach villa secluded in a tropical rainforest.

Ten nights in Datai is £1999pp with Premier Holidays (premierholidays.co.uk; 08444 937444). Includes B&B accommodation and return flights from London Heathrow, based on two sharing. Book by Sept 30; departs Dec 11.

THE INSIDER

FRANKIE HARRIS Cabin Service Supervisor Virgin Atlantic

My first big trip was to New York. It was exactly like it is in the movies. The hustle and bustle, the lights, sounds and sights. Definitely the city that never sleeps. I love it!

My most challenging travel experience was my first time to Delhi in India. Seeing the poverty and the children begging was heartbreaking.

My favourite place in the world is San Francisco. I love how much there is to see and do – from the amazing shopping and sights at the Waterfront to hiring a bike and cycling over the Golden Gate bridge.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is Thailand. It’s somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. The culture and food intrigue me.

My guilty travel pleasure is spoiling myself in the hotel spa.

Our crew hotel in Johannesburg has an amazing one.

I always pack a travel kettle. I can’t start my day without a good cup of tea.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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GERMANY VIENNA Innsbruck

AUSTRIA Mayrhofen

ITALY

GETTING THERE Flights from London Heathrow to Innsbruck, via Frankfurt, start from about £197 with Lufthansa. lufthansa.com Gatwick Express return tickets (leaving from London Victoria) cost from £21. gatwickexpress.com

Where the nature’s at: get out amongst it.

Left: climbing Tyrol’s network of iron rungs

Tyrol AUSTRIA

[Caption] Rough and ready on the river

Bavarian Mountain Tours

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Make it schnappy The Austrian mountains aren’t just for snowbunnies. We hit the peaks for summertime action and something to steady the nerves WORDS CELIA TOPPING

“This is the root of the Meisterwurz. It’s very good for making schnapps,” explains Andrea, my guide. We’re 20 minutes into our walk on Ahorn, one of the two biggest mountains of the Zillertal Valley in Austria’s Tyrol, and every flower, plant, stem, grass and root Andrea points out seems to be good for making schnapps, the seriously strong spirit merrily chugged by Austrians everywhere. “We drink it for health reasons,” insists Andrea, with a sly grin. “It’s a great digestion aid and can cure many ailments.” I can’t help wondering which schnapps can cure the headache caused by drinking so much schnapps.

Tyrol is gorgeous. Think of Maria, wide-armed and fullskirted, dancing on a mountainside in the Sound Of Music, and brown cows with tinkly bells munching on alpine flowers against a backdrop of craggy mountains topped with snow.

Vienna may claim all the cultural kudos, producing masters such as Mozart and Schubert, while other regions of Austria boast international heavyweights including Sigmund Freud, not to mention everyone’s favourite beefcake-cum-politican, Arnold Schwarzenegger. But it’s here in Tyrol where the nature happens, in all its glory.

Mayrhofen, about an hour from the Tyrolean capital of Innsbruck, is probably better known for its winter season – it’s home to the awesome Snowbombing Festival, where once a year the quiet, unassuming valley is turned into a rave, with snow. However, I’m here in midsummer, to discover what this picturesque idyll has to offer when the snow melts, which is why I’m clinging to an iron rung fixed in the side of a rockface, about 200m above the valley, with the River Ziller thundering beneath me.

Via ferratas, or ‘iron roads’, were first used by the Italian infantry in the First World War to manoeuvre around the Dolomites. But now these iron veins run all over the mountains of several European countries, including Austria, Germany and even Scotland, a sort of ‘rock-climbing-lite’ for the uninitiated. Guide Willi tells my group: “The great thing about via ferratas is that you can do them alone, you don’t need anyone to belay.” As the steel cable and iron rungs are already in place, all you need to do is clip on.

I struggle, inelegantly, to get to the top, having realised early on that I don’t have a head for heights. But I’m determined not to fail. On reaching the top, the rest of the group are ebullient with the thrill of the climb and we

reward ourselves with a hearty meal of traditional wiener schnitzel, huge glasses of beer and, of course, schnapps – just to steady the nerves, of course.

The next day brings more adventure as I go rafting on the River Ziller. Rudi Kroll, guide at Action Club Zillertal, exprofessional snowboarder, and all-round thrill seeker, takes my group out on the river, and we’re instantly paddling like mad in the rushing water. As we tumble along, I catch sight of several onlookers waving and shouting to us on the banks

“

We drink schnapps for health reasons

”

and bridges, and one kid tries, and fails, to keep up with us on his bike. Rudi encourages us to jump into the swirling ››

Winter rave: the Snowbombing Fest TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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water and hang on to the raft to be swept downstream before being pulled back in, spluttering, with racing hearts.

The next two days take me on a cross-country segway tour, along a high-rope garden, swinging in the treetops of Tyrol’s ‘lake village’ of Kramsach, and hiking on the steep, rocky outcrops of the 2127m-high Wiedersbergerhorn.

Speaking to local Markus Kofler, resplendent in his lederhosen, it seems I’ve only touched the surface of what the Tyrol has to offer. After I recount my adventures, he tells me that there are still hundreds of kilometres of mountain biking and hiking trails to explore. The rivers offer not only rafting, but kayaking, canoeing and canyoning; the skies can be paraglided; and under our feet, cavers are delving deep into the mountain rock. It seems there’s no part of this verdant landscape that can’t be used for some active purpose.

My suspicions are confirmed upon my return to the hotel, where I get chatting to 25-year-old receptionist Helen.

“I came here for the winter season, because I love skiing,” she tells me. “But I stayed because I realised it’s fun all year round. So I’m still here – five years later!” ❚ More on Austrian Tyrol at

tyrol.com

Off-season: who needs skis to have fun?

NEXT WEEK San Sebastian: a summer of surf, pintxos and sunbathing

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

The cheapest option in Mayrhofen is to pop into Gasser, the local butcher, for a meaty snack on the go, for as little as a couple of euros. There are also tables outside if you have time to linger. gasser.co.at

After a nerve-jangling climb up the Hunteraner’s via ferratas, you’ll be ready for a traditional weiner schnitzel and beer at the Zimmereben Gasthaus. The delicious kaiserschmarrn (a sort of light, caramelised pancake split into bits) are a tempting treat.

From about £4.50. zimmereben.at

Just a few miles away in nearby Hippach is the gourmet restaurant of Hotel Sieghard. Chef Sieghard Eder prepares both regional and international dishes to an excellent standard, and there is a great view of the mountains to enjoy while eating.

Expect to pay about £80 per head. sighard.at

DRINK

Enjoy a few ‘medicinal’ schnapps at the cosy cellar bar, Apropos. Their Happy Hour generously runs from 8.30pm to 10pm and the bar is open until 4am. Drinks from £2.35. apropos.cc

A fun, friendly place with a modern, easy-going atmosphere is Coup and More. There’s an outside sun terrace, too. Drinks from about £3. coup-more.at

Named after Mayrhofen’s suicidal skiing slope, Harakiri is a neon-lit bar/ nightclub that keeps punters happy until 2am, with a good range of cocktails from £4.75. harakiri-bar.at

SLEEP

Gasthof Zillertal is housed in an old lodge, on the banks of the River Ziller, a short walk from the town centre. Choose from dormitory, double room or spacious apartment accommodation from £8.55pn. gasthof-zillertal.at

Take a dip in the pool, then lie back on a lounger in Hotel Strass’s grassy grounds and watch the brightyellow cable cars leisurely make their way up Penken, just metres away.

From £525pppw on a half-board basis (including flights from Gatwick and transfer from Innsbruck). hotelstrass.com

The only five-star hotel in the Zillertal Valley is the Elisabeth, a charming, friendly establishment. It may be a little dated, but most rooms boast a four-poster bed and a balcony with great views up to the Hintertux glacier. From £130pn for a double room. elisabethhotel.com

EAT

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Photos: Celia Topping, Danny North, Austrian Tourist Board, tirolimages.at

BUDGET

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s Group Course n Private Tuitio rses Children’s Cou Snowboard rs Freeride & Tou

The Apparthotel Veronika is just two minutes from town and in-between green fields in the summer and cross country skiing tracks in the winter.

W el come to t

l hoo c ki S he S

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Luxurious and traditional style are combined in this small and excellent 4 star hotel. Tastefully yet comfortably furnished and you can relax and enjoy yourself at this charming place in the Alps.

Apparthotel Veronika | Dursterstrasse 250 b | 6290 Mayrhofen Zillertal | Tirol | Austria | Tel: +43 5285 63347 Skischule SMT Mayrhofen / Leitung Roland Rahm 6290 Mayrhofen 456 · T +43-(0)5285-63939 oder 63313 · Fax +43(0)5285-63007 info@mayrhofen-total.com · www.mayrhofen-total.com

www.apparthotel.com

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Bigging up Brum This is Birmingham in 48 hours WORDS LAURA CHUBB

DAY 1: 10:00 Known as ‘Brum’ to most Brits, this former industrial stronghold in the West Midlands has seldom struck holidaymakers as a must-see destination – until now. It may have induced a few sniggers when Brum was ranked on The New York Times’ top 20 holiday hot list for 2012, but with more canals than Venice, a revamped centre and growing arts scene, Britain’s second largest city has plenty to fill a few days’ exploring. Start at The Cube (thecube.co.uk), a building built to evoke a jewellery box (and consequently the city’s jewellery heritage), and head northwest into the centre, passing pretty canals, locks and old tollhouses as you go.

11:00 Finish up at the centrepiece of Birmingham’s makeover, the Bullring (bullring.co.uk), a shopping complex best known for its bizarrely designed Selfridges Building. Said to be inspired by a Paco Rabanne sequin dress, the futuristic-looking blob is covered in 15,000 aluminium discs and cost £60m.

13:30 After grabbing a bite in the Bullring at the Handmade Burger Company (handmadeburger.co.uk), which has a menu long enough to bamboozle the most determined burger connoisseur, head over to the Jewellery Quarter for a fix of history. Brummie bling dates back hundreds of years – the production of precious metals began to prosper in the city around 1660 and in the 18th century, there was huge expansion in this area to accommodate the ever-growing trade. Swing by the Museum of the Jewellery Quarter (75-79 Vyse Street, tel. 0121 5543598, admission free), set in a former 80

factory that has been preserved as it was when it closed.

15:00 Discover Brum’s contemporary culture at Ikon Gallery (ikon-gallery.co.uk; free). Once a Victorian school, the space is now given over to avant-garde art, with a mix of disciplines for you to gawk at.

16:30 Direct yourself towards Victoria Square for the obligatory snap with Iron: Man, a sculpture by artist Antony Gormley, reminiscent of his much larger Angel Of The North near Newcastle. The iron figure’s feet are buried below ground, and it’s set at an intentionally wonky lean.

18:00 Head to the Balti Triangle for another essential taste of Brummie culture. Spreading across the south of the city through Sparkbrook, Balsall Heath and Moselely, pick a likely looking joint and order the triangle’s signature dish, a Britified riff on a curry. We hear Ladypool Road has the best restaurants; most are BYOB. 20:00 Hit The Rainbow (therainbowvenues.co.uk) to start your night. With a complex that includes bar, warehouse, courtyard and two Victorian viaducts, there’ll be something to suit your taste. Next, salute Birmingham’s rock heritage (the city birthed Ozzy Osbourne, after all) and head upstairs in the Bull’s Head (bullsheadmoseley.co.uk) for live bands.

DAY 2: 11:00 The free breakfast at Hatters Hostel (hattersgroup.com; from £16pn) is available all day, so you don’t have to get out of bed too early. Take it easy on the grey matter and make your first stop Cadbury World (cadburyworld.co.uk; from £14.75, or 2-for-1 on Thursdays if pre-booked). Exploring the history and

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Photos: Visit Birmingham

Canalside: the city has more waterways than Venice

production of Britain’s best chocolate, try not to overdo it at the world’s biggest Cadbury shop at the end.

13:00 If you’re still hungry after all that, grab a table at the waterside for lunch at Canalside Cafe (35 Worcester Bar, Gas Street Basin, off Gas Street). Once an 18thcentury lock keeper’s cottage, it’s got more character than Brum’s myriad chain eateries and does healthy, filling fare (try the veggie soup at £3.95).

14:00 Now engage the brain at the Barber Institute of Fine Arts (barber.org.uk; free). Representing greats from the Renaissance to Impressionism (including Picasso), there’s also a good selection of Brit work from the likes of Turner.

16:00 Still going strong? Then try the Birmingham Tolkien Bus Tour (birmingham-tours.co.uk; £10), which takes you to parts of the city said to have inspired The Lord Of The Rings (Tolkien spent his early years in Birmingham).

18:30 Bid goodbye to Brum’s curry scene at Bollywood singer Asha Bhosle’s imaginatively named Asha’s (ashasuk.co.uk). Though a chain, this is the only UK outlet. The dal makhni here is the most sinfully buttery dollop of deliciousness we’ve ever been naughty enough to nibble. Mains from about £11-16.

20:30 End your weekend in style at the Gin Parlour (thejekyllandhyde.co.uk), a Victorian-style drinking den with a huge gin selection and various theme nights (film screenings, burlesque). Adopt Brum accent: “Class-oi”.

Single tickets from London Euston to Birmingham New Street can cost as little as £10 if booked in advance c2c-online.co.uk

“Part-oi”: dance with the locals on Brum’s ace club scene

Avant-garde: the Ikon Gallery exhibits contemporary artwork TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Bridgetown BARBADOS

BARBADOS

GETTING THERE Direct flights from London Gatwick to Barbados start from about ÂŁ615 return with Virgin Atlantic. Flight is about eight hours. virgin-atlantic.com

BRIDGETOWN

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BIGTRIP

The real rum diary From Rihanna and ‘wukking up’, to hangovers and sailing, there’s more to Barbados than its luxury resorts and endless beaches WORDS CAROL DRIVER

WHEN TO GO: Tropical ‘You’re not supposed to get sloshed’ rainstorms sometimes occur in “It’s the rum that invented rum,” the barman hurricane season, from June to The day before, our minibus whizzes through shouts over the music, handing me a drink October. July to November is the Bridgetown, the capital of Barbados on the with a wide, cheesy grin. I turn, and almost wet season, although most showers south-west of the island. Fred – who knows walk into a girl standing in front of me, her are over quickly. Dry season is everything there is to know about the city arse shaking hypnotically in time with the between December and May with – points out the influence of the British. It’s song – no mean feat considering the club temperatures reaching 30°C. everywhere, from the layout of the streets we’re in is blaring out Caribbean soca tunes and the colonial-style architecture, to the at 120bpm. Everywhere I look, there are CURRENCY: £1 = BB$3 gyrating couples; the small venue is heaving ACCOMMODATION: You can road names (Tudor Street, Trafalgar Square) and the fact cars drive on the left. with glistening bodies, the intense humidity do Barbados on a budget. House Brightly coloured traditional chattel making everything just a little bit sticky.

Annaliesa Dover in St Lawrence houses in every shade of blue, yellow, Crowds of dressed-to-the-nines locals are Gap has beds for about £11pppn. pink and red blur past, before we stop at kicking around outside waiting to get in for The Hill House in Christ Church has Kensington Oval. Unfortunately, the West a piece of the action. It’s Friday night, and, in a room which it rents to travellers Indies are away, playing against England Bridgetown, this is the place to be. There’s an for about £9.50pn on a three-night at Lord’s in London. “People come to almighty cheer from inside the bar as the DJ minimum basis.

Bridgetown just to come and stand here,” slaps on a Rihanna song.

SEE: visitbarbados.org Fred explains earnestly, as we stare at the We Found Love blasts from the speakers, empty venue. “Soak up the atmosphere. Cricket means so and beautiful Bajan women with too-perfect hair and ample much to so many people here. And this stadium has seen booties begin ‘wukking up’ – writhing their behinds in the some superb games.” shapes of ‘0’s and ‘8’s – losing themselves in the beat, as tall, We’re soon on our way up the west side of the 21-mileincredibly handsome, impeccably dressed guys dance behind long island, along a coast dotted with luxury villas and resorts. them protectively.

Boasting postcard-pretty beaches, pristine sand and turquoise Everyone’s here to party – and hearing the sound of their water, this is where the rich and famous come to play, and girl-next-door-done-good (Rihanna grew up in Bridgetown) where Rihanna’s family moved after she hit the big time. sends the crowd into a frenzy. (Although, mention the name Beyond the bling, in the north of Barbados, Fred pulls up “Chris Brown” to anyone, and it’s as though you’ve just alongside a never-ending field of sugarcane, which is being insulted their mother – the rapper is not welcome to set harvested for rum, filling the air with a fresh, sweet scent. foot in Barbados.)

He’s taking us to Mount Gay Rum’s ageing and blending Drink in hand, I make my way around the tightly packed facility. Rum is a huge deal in Barbados. And, having first venue, which by day is the Mount Gay Rum Visitors Center, started production in 1703, Mount Gay is considered “the near the stunning Brighton Beach. rum that invented rum”. Being the birthplace of rum is I can spot my group easily, not least because the men something the country is incredibly proud of – you’d be hard fail to display the same suave dance skills as their Bajan pushed to find a bar which didn’t stock it in Barbados. counterparts, their alcohol-fuelled moves instead looking Naively, I’d always considered the drink as something you awkward and clumsy as they enthusiastically attempt, but mix with coke – an act on par with blasphemy here, master fail miserably, to master the same sense of rhythm. distiller Allen Smith explains. It’s his job to blend the next “Let’s go,” Fred, our friendly Barbadian guide, shouts at award-winning rum. “I’m like a DJ,” he laughs in a broad us, probably out of embarrassment at the dad-dancing going Bajan accent. “I work off the cuff, there’s no set method.” on beside him. “Where to?” I ask. “It’s time I introduced you ›› Pre-empting our next question, he adds: “No, I don’t get all to the rum shops,” he replies.

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Clockwise: Allen Smith at work; sailing in the regatta; boarding on the east coast

drunk. In this business it pays for you not to. You can taste, but you’re not supposed to get sloshed.”

Keen to try Smith’s handiwork, we head back to the visitors centre in Bridgetown for a tasting session, where we’re served a small measure of Eclipse Silver, Eclipse Black, Extra Old and the revered 1703. I’m told each combines delicate notes of banana, almond, vanilla and moka, but, much to our guide’s amusement, the rum instead sends a burning sensation across my untrained palate and tastes like pure alcohol. I grimace like a child taking their first sip of beer – hand me a mojito any day.

However, it grows on me, and, a few rums later, and not yet lunchtime, we’re all a little bit merry. We pile, giggling, into Fred’s minibus and he ferries us to the Bridgetown harbour.

I can feel the bass from the Bajan music vibrating on the wooden slats underneath my feet on the boardwalk as I head for the catamaran that will be our party boat for a few hours. Although the west coast lays claim to the best beaches, it’s here and in the east that adrenaline junkies can satiate their cravings, with watersports such as windsurfing, kitesurfing and bodyboarding on offer.

But that all sounds far too much effort today, as I clamber on board. There’s a whoop from the bikini- and Bermuda shorts-clad crowd as we set sail, music blaring. The vessel is huge, with space to sunbathe at the front, and a bar with an area for dancing inside. I order a rum and I’m grabbed by a friendly Bajan with dreadlocks running down the length of his back, who leads me to the dancefloor, where the rest of my group are ‘wukking up’ with about as much grace as a startled kangaroo.

I’m handed over to a woman who attempts to teach me 84

how to move my hips, placing her hands on me and pushing my body around. Luckily, I get kudos just for trying, and then there’s a round of applause as the experts steal the limelight.

The men lap it up, of course, seizing the opportunity, bottles of rum in hand, to assert their authority, stomping around, singing loudly, in typical alpha male fashion.

Fuelled by alcohol, we dance away the next hour, the sun beating down upon us, before heading back to the dock to Fred, who sensibly takes us to get food to soak up the

Bajan tradition: a colourful rum shop

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booze, making a pit stop at Oistins. It’s a village close to the backpackers’ haven of Rockley that was, until recently, a fish market. Now, it’s a lively hub with food stalls selling every type of Bajan cuisine. We occupy a huge table outside, and a waitress brings us a selection of fried fish – ‘dolphin’ (actually dorado), barracuda, tuna – and a pile of sides. including a macaroni pie and cou cou (cornmeal and okra), and, of course, more rum.

Then someone starts the music. Local lads have brought a sound system, and create a makeshift stage, where they compete in a dance-off while a crowd gathers around, egging them on. None of us is brave enough to even try to rival their finely honed skills, but stand safely at the sidelines, drinking, as each dancer tries to outdo the one before.

The night before...

It’s about midnight when our guide suggests heading to a rum shop. There are more than 1500 dotted around the

“

I’m trying to keep my breakfast down

”

island and they’re unique to Barbados, in a tradition dating back 300 years. It is said that you always find two things in a village – a church and a rum shop. As the name suggests, these tiny bars, found in original Bajan chattel houses and often attached to the owner’s home, sell mainly rum.

Buffy’s is in Inch Marlow, smack-bang in the middle of a residential area. It’s open-fronted, with low lighting. The decor is minimal: bare yellow walls, white plastic chairs, and a grey concrete floor. There are pool tables where locals are playing, while drinkers sit at the tall bar stools.

Bolstered by too much Dutch courage, I make a beeline for the karaoke machine, performing an incredibly bad duet of You’re The One That I Want from Grease with an unsuspecting local.

The hits keep on coming, as do the drinks, long into the ›› night, and long after they should have stopped ...

The Insider's guide Ryan Adamson, 36, grew up and lives in Bathsheba, on the rugged east coast of Barbados. Adamson (pictured above) is the resident bar mixologist at the Mount Gay Rum Visitors Center.

What’s Barbados’s best-kept secret?

My hometown of Bathsheba. It is virtually untouched by development and has beautiful views.

Where’s good for adventure?

Scotland District, which is named after its Highlands counterpart. It’s also virtually untouched by development, and boasts Mount Hillaby – Barbados’s heighest peak at 1115ft. It has amazing scenery, with some of the rocks dating back 50 million years. If you enjoy getting off the beaten track, this is definitely the place to visit.

Where do you go to party?

Frisky Fridays at the Mount Gay Rum Visitors Center are the best – this party is only held once a month and attracts a nice, local crowd. Also, McBrides in St Lawrence Gap – which is packed with bars – offers a wide variety of entertainment with some of Barbados’ top bands performing.

Where do you go to chill?

Oistins, known for the freshest fish around at its Friday Night Fish Fry, is a nice quiet place to kick back any night of the week.

Where are the best beaches?

It all depends on what you are looking for at the beach.

For example: Paynes Bay is known for snorkelling with the turtles; Pebbles Beach and Browne’s Beach are known for their white sand and crystal clear water; The Crane was once ranked as one of the top 10 beaches in the world; Silver Sands and Bathsheba are known for their watersports; Accra is known to be a good hangout spot and also good for surfing. There are too many to name... mountgayrum.com

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The morning after...

I’m gripping on to the side of a lop-sided 78ft-long sailing boat as it cuts through the water, still cringing over my tuneless rendition the night before. About 15ft in the air, I’m acting as a weight, along with about 15 others aboard a vessel taking part in the Mount Gay Rum Regatta, and my head is pounding.

As the boat tacks and jibes, we scurry to the other side, pushing the yacht down to increase its speed. The skipper tells us to get ready, and I scramble across the deck, the wind and spray hitting me in the face, trying my best to keep my breakfast down.

I look across as one of the girls in my group throws up into the sea, her face pale green. Minutes later, at the back of the boat, another of my group vomits what was consumed the night before.

It’s day two of a three-day race, and we’re aiming to complete two 28-mile courses, hitting an impressive 22 knots.

It’s so fast, though, a rescue boat has to be called for another girl, whose sea-sickness is too much to bear. I plough on, stomach churning, and remember to look at the horizon.

After what seems like forever, the race is over. Back on dry land, and everyone’s in a jubilant mood, so we head to the Yacht Club for an after-party. The drinks start flowing, but tonight I’m feeling a little more hesitant.

Yes, Barbados is home to the rum that invented rum, but it’s also responsible for the rum that invented the mother of all hangovers. ❚

Sailing: less fun with a hangover

Carol was hosted by Mount Gay Rum, staying for four nights at the Barbados Hilton

hiltonbarbadoshotel.com The party boat was hosted

by Cool Runnings Barbados

coolrunningsbarbados.com

BEST OF THE REST TOP 3 CARIBBEAN ISLANDS JAMAICA There’s much more to this island than reggae, rum and relaxation. It’s also home to fantastic diving spots around Runaway Bay and Ocho Rios. Nature lovers should make a beeline for the wetlands for the chance to spot endangered crocodiles and manatees. Oh, and did we mention the jerk chicken? It packs a hot punch here. visitjamaica.com

Photos: TNT, Getty

DOMINICAN REPUBLIC With clear waters, white-sand beaches and year-round sunshine, it’s the archetypal Caribbean island. Perhaps that’s why it is the most-visited Caribbean country. There’s also plenty to do here, from whale watching to some of the best surfing in the Caribbean. What’s more, you’ll get bang for your buck, so you can enjoy yourself without burning a hole in your pocket.

Shake that booty

godominicanrepublic.com

PUERTO RICO Puerto Rico fuses elements of Latin and Caribbean culture with a cosmopolitan American-inspired outlook. Top beaches and colonial sites abound, while reggaeton (Latino hip-hop) and salsa provide the musical backdrop. The Spanish and English-speaking island is also home to gorgeous natural landscapes, including El Yunque rainforest, and a millionyear-old cave system in the northwest. seepuertorico.com

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NEXT WEEK Panama: We brave a 4x4 death drive up a volcano Don’t mention Chris Brown

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Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.639, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. North America discount and “Win your trip for free” details available at www.topdeck.travel - See online for full terms and conditions.

TNT_1512_Travel.indd 97

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

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TRAVEL

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