TNT Magazine / Issue 1513

August 27-September 2 2012 Issue 1513 tntmagazine.com

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TICKETS TO THE LONDON DO UBLE HEADER AT TWICKENHA M

GET HIGH IN LONDON The capital’s best above-ground haunts

LOVE AND BRUTALITY John Hillcoat on his new movie Lawless

HOOK UP ON HOLIDAY The lowdown on getting lucky abroad

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CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER ArcelorMittal Orbit, the Shard, the cable car and heaps of roof terrace bars: if you’re looking to get above the daily grind, London is the place to do it. Flick to P8 for our pick of the capital’s high-altitude attractions. Talking of natural highs, our writer gets her kicks in Panama, braving a 4x4 death drive up a volcano and going extreme kayaking.

Read all about it on P84. Don’t forget to subscribe to have TNT delivered to your door – see tntmagazine.com/emag

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

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MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

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@TNT

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SPOTTED

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LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22, 25

COMPETITION

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CHATROOM TOM CONTI

27

LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock Cover: Thinkstock

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8

28-29 34

LIFESTYLE

35-45

SHOPPING

35

FEATURES HOW HIGH?

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HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

We take you above street level to explore London’s best sky-high attractions

CAREERS

38-39

KISSES AND VIOLENCE

LIVING

44-45

NEWS & SPORT

46-57

John Hillcoat on how he came to add a contrast to the brutality in Lawless

TRAVEL

61

HEADY IN HERE

DIARY

62

NEWS

63

Behind the Unlimited Festival, showcasing the art of the disabled

LATE DEALS

66

HOTSHOTS

69

TOP FIVE ...HOOK-UP HOLIDAYS 70 TIPS & STUFF

72, 75

48 HOURS IN...MARRAKECH 80-81 CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

89-113 114

THE TOP DOG

30

30

50

56

Harlequins’ New Zealand star Nick Evans on succeeding in British rugby

BASQUE IN THE GLORY

76

How to make the most of Spain’s Basque Country gem, San Sebastian

RUGGED AND RAW

84

Extreme kayaking and death-defying driving in Central America’s Panama

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FINAL 1513 CONTENTS.indd Sec1:3

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social Media Dan Thorne DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke

LONDONDIARY

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Grab some grub: foodie fest comes to town

Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

Shhh... SECRET LONDON WATERLOO QUARTER FOOD FESTIVAL WATERLOO

This culinary celebration takes in talks, cookery demonstrations, dining events and a grand food fair to cater for all tastes. With bars and restaurants around Waterloo joining force, there will be: cookery theatre and a food fair opposite The Old Vic (Sept 6), with three local chefs showing off their skills ahead of a street market; Cubana’s cocktails and smoothies taster nights; an Indian summer BBQ (Sept 20); cake decorating (Sept 25); butchery demos (Sept 12), and a Bollywood night (Sept 20), too. Spice up your life.

VARIOUS

September 1-30. Various times Various venues Waterloo wearewaterloo.co.uk

DELOITTE IGNITE AFRICA WEEKEND

TERROR DOWN UNDER DOUBLE

RISE OF THE NONCONFORMISTS

Artist Yinka Shonibare (famed for his Nelson In A Bottle plinth offering) curates this weekend of African flavoured festivities that includes screenings, talks, debates and performances.

There’s also a drumming workshop, and a perfomance by Afrobeat cofounder Tony Allen.

Part of the Scala Beyond season, these consecutive double headers look at horror from Down Under. Outback terror Night Of Fear, which predates The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, kicks things off, followed by psycho-thriller Bad Boy Bubbly, cult classic Next Of Kin, and ‘Poms-inperil’ film Wake In Fright.

This exterior street art exhibition, part of the Whitecross Street Party, has but two weeks to run, so get down while you can and spy some of the eye-catching offerings transforming the street.

There’s everything from billboard-sized paintings to apocalyptic skull cyclists and all manner of sculptures.

Aug 31-Sept 2. Various times Royal Opera House, WC2E 9DD Leicester Square roh.org.uk

Aug 29-30. 7pm Roxy Bar and Screen, SE1 1LB Borough roxybarandscreen.com

Until Sept 9. Open 24 hours Whitecross Street, EC1Y 8JL Old Street wxstreetparty.co.uk

FREE

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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It’s time to rock out!

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Sat, Sept 1. 7.30pm Hackney Empire, 291 Mare Street, E8 1EJ Hackney Central hackneyempire.co.uk

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Single malt scotch whiskey Auchentoshan and top London male grooming outfit Murdock London bring you this pop-up barbershop.

Sign up early for a free barber experience (wet shave, hot towel facial), and complimentary cocktails and whiskey tasting alongside the grooming talks.

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2012’s ‘best of British’ vibe gets a novel spin with this night of laughs looking back on the years of the UK’s first female PM, as well as at the success, or lack thereof, of the current country-runners.

Arthur Smith hosts, with Tony Slattery, Hardeep Singh Kohli, and Terry Alderton providing the gags.

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Do you find the normal karaoke choice is too pop, too bland, too weak and lacking in six-string action? If so, then you are not alone, and Rockaoke, taking up residency at Madame JoJo’s on the last Wednesday of every month, can put this right. The ultimate backing band, they’ve worked with more than 30,000 lead singers, as well as the odd celeb, too (Michael Schumacher, Justin Lee Collins, er, James Corden).

So get ready to rock out to your fave tunes!

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LONDONNEWS LONDON TAKES BIKING TO A NEW LEVEL It would look like something out of a futuristic movie, but elevated bike lanes could be introduced in London.

The number of people cycling on the capital’s roads doubled between 2000 and 2012, according to Transport for London.

Mayor Boris Johnson said: “There is a proposal, which is very interesting, to hook up mainline stations in London along the side of the raised railway tracks, with a new cycle path. So from Clapham Junction to Waterloo – around town like that.”

The mayor is said to be inspired by the High Line in New York – an old railway through Manhattan turned into a park.

One would have thought Prince Harry, with his privileged upbringing, would have been a better billiards player Nairn Lawson writes to the Telegraph after those naked pics

RACIST RANT ON BUS, WOMAN ARRESTED A racist rant carried out by a woman travelling on a London bus has gone viral on YouTube.

More than 140,000 people have watched the clip, which shows a passenger shouting: “I’m so glad I’m black. I can’t stand you white people. When day end day, you’ll fucking go with your people and I’ll go with mine.” Police said a 34-year-old woman from Hackney had been arrested and bailed in connection with the incident.

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Cool venue: GB women’s wheelchair basketball team performing inside St Paul’s Cathedral

Let the Games begin ... again More than 40,000 tickets go on sale as Paralympic cauldron lit If you’ve been having withdrawal symptoms since the end of the Games, worry not, as the excitement beings to build for the Paralympics.

Kicking off proceeding on Friday, the torch was carried to a number of London landmarks – Royal Opera House, Houses of Parliament – after lighting the ceremonial cauldron in Trafalgar Square.

Claire Lomas did the honours. The 32year-old was left paralysed from the chest down after a horse riding accident in 2007.

She became the first person to finish a marathon in a bionic suit this year.

The Agitos, the official symbol of the 2012 Paralympics, was on Friday suspended from Tower Bridge, where it

will remain until September 15. PM David Cameron and London mayor Boris Johnson were at the lighting of the cauldron on Friday. Johnson, bolstered by a surge in popularity since the Olympics, said: “With just five days to go London is ready to make history and host the most successful Paralympic Games ever seen.”

Locog has released 140,000 more tickets to the Paralympics that open on Wednesday. After selling 2.3 million tickets, the London 2012 organisers made 40,000 sport tickets and 100,000 tickets to the park available. All tickets to the park, where people still can watch sports such as boccia, wheelchair basketball and goalball on a giant screen, cost less than £5.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

Olympic opening ceremony

THIS WEEK’S HOTSPOTS Expect Tubes to be busier than usual (although that’s what they said during the Olympics) for the Paralympics. See getaheadofthegames.com for a full list

CENTRAL: Stratford, Mile End, Bethnal Green, Liverpool Street, Bank, St Paul’s Chancery Lane

NORTHERN: King’s Cross, London Bridge DLR: Canary Wharf, Custom House, Prince Regent, West Silvertown,

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Photos: Getty

JUBILEE: Southwark, Bermondsey, Canada Water, Canary Wharf, Stratford

Sure, there are other things happening in London, but it’s the Paralympics that should be topping your list.

The Opening Ceremony starts at 8.30pm on Wednesday, August 29 (fortunately, it is scheduled to end at a more reasonable 11.30pm). Directed by Bradley Hemmings and Jenny Sealey, the event will be broadcast live at Trafalgar Square, Potters Fields Park and in Woolwich and Walthamstow (see tntmagazine.com/paralympics).

The focus is on perceptions of human possibility, opening with a fly-over by Aerobility, a British charity that trains disabled people to become pilots. More than 3000 volunteers will be taking part, with Hemmings stressing his desire for it to be “both spectacular and deeply human”.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Above it all: the view from the Heron Tower

Touch the sky The Shard is having an impact: London is looking up, Here are our tips on where to test your vertigo this summer WORDS ZOE CRAIG Compared with the likes of New York and Hong Kong, London doesn’t really do skyscrapers. But with the arrival of the Shard, Londoners have started looking up. High altitude attractions are on the rise, but far from the ubiquitous, pricey lift-plus-viewingplatform combo found in NYC, this is vertiginous excitement London-style: a high-rise pop-up restaurant here; a unique monument there; a tranquil tucked-away roof garden over there.

It doesn’t get much more individual than London’s newest tower, the singularly peculiar ArcelorMittal Orbit.

Designed for London 2012 by artist Anish Kapoor, the 115m sculpture is Britain’s tallest piece of public art.

Looking like a melted helter-skelter, the looping red steel dominates Stratford’s Olympic Park.

Kapoor’s aim was to create something unstable, “never centred, never quite vertical” and he’s certainly achieved it. Queuing under the huge trumpet-like structure hanging over the entrance builds a sense of excitement, heightened by travelling the 85m up in the metal lift and getting tantalising glimpses of the red spaghetti structure 8

swirling through tiny portholes. But once at the circular viewing platform, memories of the monstrous tower outside fade away.

Out of the floor-to-ceiling windows, it’s easy to spot Canary Wharf, the Shard, and other familiar landmarks; it’s fun, too, to be able to see the different shapes and structures that create the Olympic Park. You can even look down into the stadium itself. Further afield, to someone used to looking down at London from the centre, it’s a new thrill to view the city from the east.

The winding trip down the 455 stairs feels like a journey back to earth, to a place where things conform; have symmetry; are comfortingly linear. Orbit is a tantalising mix of many things: it’s both playful and pointless, a hybrid of abstract art and architecture; a feat of engineering that somehow also manages to be entertaining.

‘Hybrid’ could be the new buzzword for experiences in London in 2012. For Londoners with adventurous tastebuds, a new breed of fusion cooking is emerging from the kitchens at newly opened restaurant, Sushisamba.

As the name suggests, Sushisamba

offers a blend of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian food (stay with me).

The US chain has been serving its unique tropical taste sensations to New Yorkers since 1999, and in July, a branch finally arrived in London. Not content with wowing your tastebuds, Sushisamba is also out to impress with the views from its tables on the 38th and 39th floors of one of London’s newest skyscrapers: Heron Tower.

Before you even get to the Brazilian churrasco and moqueca, Peruvian anticuchos and seviches, and Japanese tempura and sushi, there’s the “scenic” elevator ride. Then, there’s the freshly muddled cocktails, premium sake collection and exotic spirits to choose from, best enjoyed along with the view from one of the two outdoor terraces that flank the restaurant.

Sushisamba is yet another notch on London’s diversity bedpost. And it certainly adds truth to the mantra that not all highs are the same.

THE BEST HIGHS IN LONDON ›› Sushisamba EC2N 4AY Liverpool St sushisamba.com Orbit. £15 E15 2DU Stratford lndon2012.com

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Great views: Orbit

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BOUNDARY SHOREDITCH

PIZZA PILGRIMS’ FORZA WIN TOWER HAMLETS

Sit in bespoke furniture around the open fireplace, and make sure you take time to admire the garden, before checking out the panoramic views of London. There’s a unique Cuban humidor with a full cigar menu. This could well be the London’s most luxurious rooftop.

Street food masters Pizza Pilgrims prepare their wares in a secret rooftop location, somewhere around Brick Lane. The three-course meal is washed down with plenty of British craft lager Saint, or the classic Italian aperitif, Aperol Spritz, plus live music.

Daily. 12pm-sundown E2 7JE Shoreditch High St theboundary.co.uk

Thurs-Sat. Times vary Secret location Aldgate East forzawin.com

FREE

£25

DALSTON ROOF PARK DALSTON This funky space, four storeys up, offers yoga classes, comedy nights, spoken word and foodie events, live gigs and film screenings. If you prefer horticulture to culture, you can get involved in the management of the garden and allotment space on the roof. Or you can just grab a drink and soak up the views of Dalston Kingsland. £2

Until Sept 30. Mon-Fri 9am-11pm. Sat 1pm-12am. Sun 1pm-10pm E8 3DL Dalston Kingsland bootstrapcompany.co.uk

UP AT THE 02 GREENWICH

GO APE TRENT PARK ENFIELD

Wear flat shoes with a good grip, as the climb up to the top of the arena’s roof is pretty steep.

Once you’re at the top, 52m up, walk around and enjoy the views of south east London, Docklands and the Olympic Park.

Escape the city on a 600m-long assault course set 16m up in the trees of Trent Park. You’ll tackle Tarzan swings, rope bridges and zip wires on your journey around the course. Look out, too, for the Skateboard Zips: a combo of boarding and zip wire.

£22

QUEEN OF HOXTON HOXTON Part bar, part club, part art gallery, the Queen of Hoxton (above) comes into its own in summer with a gorgeous rooftop garden, complete with hanging baskets and a fountain. Don your best hipster threads and tuck into some of east London’s best jerk chicken from the rooftop barbecue. There’s scrawling wall art and a tempting list of delicious cocktails. Whether the roof garden is open depends on the weather: follow the team on Twitter for the latest updates.

FREE

Sun-Wed, 12pm-12am; Thur-Sat 12pm-2am EC2A 3LT Liverpool St queenofhoxton.com

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Mon-Fri 12pm-8pm, Sat-Sun 10am-6pm SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk/upattheo2

MONUMENT CITY

£30

Unitl Oct 31. 9am-4.30pm EN4 0PS Cockfosters goape.co.uk

XSTRATA TREETOP WALKWAY KEW

The world’s tallest isolated column, Monument stands 62m from the site of the baker’s where the fire began in 1666. There are 311 steep spiral steps to the caged viewing platform.

About 200m of walkway winding between the crowns of lime, sweet chestnut and oak trees, 18m up. Spot birds, insects, lichen and fungi.

Daily. 9.30am-6pm EC3R 8AH Monument themonument.info

Daily. 9am-5.45pm TW9 3AB Kew Bridge kew.org

£3

£16

KENSINGTON ROOF GARDENS KENSINGTON One of London’s longest-standing rooftop oases, The Roof Gardens is the biggest of its kind in Europe, 30m above Kensington High Street.

It features three themed areas: a Spanish garden, with fountains and palms, based on the Alhambra in Spain; a Tudor garden with hanging wisteria and sexy secret corners; and an English woodland garden with a pond, complete with fish, pintail ducks and four flamingos.

FREE

Mon-Sat 12.30am-2pm, 7pm-10.30pm; Sun 12-2.30pm W8 5SA High St Kensington roofgardens.virgin.com

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WEMBLEY ZIP WIRE WEMBLEY

SKYROOM LONDON BRIDGE

Shoot 30m above the iconic sports stadium on a 200m long wire strung over the pitch.

Punters are promised they can reach speeds of up to 25 miles an hour as they race along the high-density zip wire. Then, take a more leisurely tour of the stadium, where you can sneak into the England changing rooms, emerging pumped and ready from the tunnel.

Nibble on tapasstyle dishes as Skyroom teeters on the London skyline, one of its four rooms hanging over the street below. Through the leaves of the resident Black Tupelo tree, you can glimpse brilliant views of the More London estate, the Shard, the Thames and the Tower of London beyond.

£40

Days vary. 10am-4pm HA9 0WS Wembley Park wembleystadium.com/tours

£5

Wed-Sat. Times vary SE1 2TU London Bridge platterform.com

EMIRATES AIRLINE GREENWICH Get great views of London’s Docklands, Canary Wharf and the Olympic Park with a trip on the new cable car across the Thames, the Emirates Air Line. At the highest point on the five-10 minute trip, the cars dangle 90m above the river, enough to make even the most stable stomachs wobble a little bit. £8.60

Mon-Fri 7am-9pm. Sat 8am-9pm. Sun 9am-9pm.

SE10 0FJ North Greenwich/ Royal Victoria emiratesairline.co.uk

GALVIN AT WINDOWS BAR PARK LANE

WALKWAY AT TOWER BRIDGE SOUTHWARK

Prices for a drink on the 28th floor of the London Hilton with accompanying 360-degree views of Hyde Park and Buckingham Palace are at a premium, so maybe keep this for a special occasion.

Tower Bridge’s highlevel walkways span the Thames 42m above the river. You can see St Paul’s and Monument to the west, and spy on the surprisingly chic boats of St Katharine’s Dock to the east.

Daily. Times vary W1K 1BE Hyde Park Corner galvinatwindows.com

Daily. 10am-6pm SE1 2UP London Bridge towerbridge.org.uk

PARAMOUNT BAR OXFORD STREET

ST PAUL’S CATHEDRAL CITY OF LONDON

You’ll need to book and adhere to a dress code, but once in, you’ll sup on beers, ciders, whiskeys and some funky cocktails while enjoying fantastic views across the city. Top class.

On the external Golden Gallery, you’ll be 85m from the cathedral floor, having climbed 528 steps. Take in views of central London, the Thames, Shakespeare’s Globe, and the Tate Modern.

Access through Peckham’s disused multi-storey might be less than salubrious (the stairs smell just as you’d expect a car park stairwell to), but it’s worth braving the climb.

The roof (10 floors up) offers spectacular views of the whole of London; there are quirky art installations from the Bold Tendencies project for some thought-provoking culture; and Frank’s serves the perfect accompaniments to both: a variety of Camparis and cocktails, plus interesting snacks and mains.

Daily. Times vary WC1A 1DD Tottenham Court Rd paramount.uk.net

Mon-Sat, 8.30am-4pm EC4M 8AD St Paul’s stpauls.co.uk

Thurs-Sun, 11am-10pm, until Sept SE15 4ST Peckham Rye frankscafe.org

FREE

SELFRIDGES ROOFTOP OXFORD STREET For summer 2012, British food architects Bompas and Parr have recreated the crazy golf course that used to adorn Selfridges’ roof in the 1930s. Test your putting skills on a London-themed cake-based nine-hole course, six floors above the Oxford Street traffic. If all that swinging around the sweets makes you peckish, you can indulge in a traditional British afternoon tea from the 100 per cent organic Daylesford Cafe. £6

Until Sept 2. Mon-Sat 12pm-7pm.

Sun 12pm-6pm WH1 6HB Bond Street style.selfridges.com

FREE

£8

£15

FRANK’S CAFE AND CAMPARI BAR PECKHAM FREE

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FINAL 1513 LONDON LISTINGS.indd 11

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MYLONDON

&

HUW STEPHENS

WIN

RADIO ONE DJ What baffles me about London is where are all the Londoners?!

London’s best-kept secret is its pubs. The old, traditional, unchanged pubs are absolutely beautiful.

When I want to chill out I head to Hampstead Heath for a long walk, which is pretty much always in the rain, all-year round.

My favourite place for a drink is [hip musos pub] The Social on Little Portland Street, Soho.

Travelled in 2012?

For when you’re hungover in London there’s nothing better than a flat white. It’s the coffee of choice.

Want to win an iPad?

What gets me up in the morning? The supermarket next door’s squeaky garage doors. I’m going to buy them some oil for it one of these days.

Register your vote now

The first thing I think of in the morning is how much I love sleep!

My perfect weekend is … I present a show on BBC Radio1 on weekend afternoons, and I absolutely love doing that. Before the shows, my ideal situation is to chill out with my wife for a bit, then walk through the parks on the way to work. Then food in Soho afterwards, followed by a gig or going to see something good in the cinema. Easy! More often than not, though, I’m on a train to Wales or off to DJ somewhere.

The 2012 Golden Backpack Awards are taking place on October 25. Your vote counts!

Go online and register your votes and you /00 XXXXXXXan could win yourself iPad.

XXXXXXXXXXX /00

The biggest faux pas you have made? Recently, I told uber-cool producers Disclosure that I really liked their album, when they haven’t actually released an album yet. I was thinking of Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs’ album, Trouble. Obviously!

tntmagazine.com/vote tntmagazine.com/vote

The last naughty thing I did was had some chocolate, and I was supposed to be having a healthy week.

Huw Stephens is building a band of unsigned musicians for O2 Think Big o2thinkbigband.com

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Photos: Ed Miller

Five words that sum up London ... Big, exciting, beautiful, busy, confusing.

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FINAL 1513 My London Huw Stephen12 12

24/8/12 17:55:44

T N T as

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WHITE HORSE

@tntmagazine

Makeover after-shot: hip in Hampstead

PUB

Once the very model of an ‘old man pub’, the White Horse has undergone a makeover in what seems very much like an attempt to compete with its hipper Hampstead counterparts. Now bang on trend, the interior is all mismatched shabby chic (chintzy wallpaper, knackered fireplace, dripping chandeliers), and there’s a free jukebox bearing the hand-written plea ‘not too much Jimi’. As a result, the clientele now comes off a little confused, with lairy older women excitedly accosting trendy youngsters when we visited.

THE GRUB Standard, but satisfying, pan-European pub grub. We enjoyed the antipasti selection, salmon with braised fennel and corn-fed chicken served on moreishly buttery bay lentils. The pulled pork looked tempting, too.

THE SCENE

BEHIND THE BAR The signature White Horse ale is brewed exclusively for the pub at Caledonian Brewery and is a refreshing, lightly floral affair, perfect for summer drinking. If you’re not a craft beer fan, try it in the Gold Medallist cocktail, which blends the brew with spiced rum and fresh peaches. You won’t be sorry.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails from £6; wine from £4.10/ £16; pints from £4.10. Starters from £4.50; mains from £9.50; desserts from £5.50.

VERDICT Swing by for the flagship drinks, but this pub, early on in its reinvention, lacks the personality to keep bums on seats. Still, there’s time yet to find its feet. LC

154 Fleet Road, NW3 2QX

whitehorsehampstead.co.uk

3 OF THE BEST LIVE MUSIC BARS

14

Hampstead Heath

BIRTHDAYS

PASSING CLOUDS

BIG CHILL HOUSE

This super-trendy bar and music venue is located on Dalston’s main strip in east London. It’s inside a former retail unit, boasting a stage, pretty lights as well as craft beer on tap. Expect to dance to ecletic bands and DJs.

Also in Dalston, funk up your weekends listening to bands with a message.

This venue is run by locals who don’t make a profit, simply providing a service to the community, giving a platform to art. Good work.

Dub, reggae, house, drum ‘n’ bass, r’n’b – whatever your taste, there’s something for you at this King’s Cross venue. Housed inside a huge Victorian pub, it’s open during the day for breakfast, lunch and cocktails.

birthdaysdalston.com

passingclouds.org

bigchill.net/house

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BITE SIZE

The bar at The Old Frizzle

t

MADE IN BRITAIN ol

s

g ly e

Head to Central Saint Giles Piazza, a two-minute walk from Tottenham Court Road station, home to the Made in Britain food market every Friday and Saturday. Get your fill of top British produce, from the finest quality charcuterie and smoked salmon, to bread and cheese; from brownies and cheesecakes, to wine and cider. The food is all totally fresh, natural cuisine direct from only British producers. centralsaintgiles.com

AN EARLY TASTE OF RIO In keeping with its Brazilian roots and in honour of both London 2012 and Rio 2016, Las Iguanas is hosting a pop-up ‘Rio Botequim’ in its restaurants. Akin to a Brazilian pub, a botequim is a place to eat, drink and be merry. With this in mind, Las Iguanas has created a special menu highlighting traditional dishes, as well as staging a number of culinary, cultural and sporting activities. Get in! iguanas.co.uk

e nu

VIVA MEXICO Benito’s Hat is flying the flag for Mexico independence day at its flagship Goodge Street store on Saturday, September 15. Get stuck into a traditional feast of tamales (Mexican dumplings) and posole (spicy pork stew). There will also be a burrito-eating competition on the night, where the top scoffer wins free Benito’s Hat for a year. Anyone with a Mexican passport will receive a Tres Leches cake absolutely free in the week leading up to the party.

THE OLD FRIZZLE British THE SCENE The site of the former Wimbo Billabong boozer has kept its Antipodean sensibilities and top-class staff in its new guise, only that’s about all it has in common with its previous incarnation. Stylish, classy and thoroughly welcoming, the restaurant occupies the front half with large wooden tables and natural lighting, with the bar lurking at the back, a darker wood design and more subdued lighting offering a more sultry, post-meal atmosphere.

THE GRUB Quickly establishing itself as a fave among locals, the Frizzle offers a twocourse fixed-price menu, as well as brunch (full English and veggie brekkie options, eggs benedict and so forth) and express (sandwiches, fish and chips) options, plus a three-course dining menu for evening luxury. For starters, we sample the panfried tiger prawns, which are quite superb, and the ham hock, pea and mint salad, the latter proving a lower key but no less impressive option. Mains feature the Frizzle’s trademark steak and oyster pie, cider and oregano marinated pork chops and daily fresh pasta, as well as seasonal chef’s specials. We plump for the pan-fried mullet, – a hearty and tastebud spiking delight served on a bed of new potatoes – and the spatchcock chicken marinated in Tunisian spices, served on orzo pilaf with harissa dressing – perfectly cooked and full to the brim with excitingly diverse flavours. For dessert, we opt for the double chocolate cheesecake (delicious but not for those watching the calories) and the butterscotch panna cotta (exquisitely palette-refreshing).

An impressive array of lagers and ales is complemented by a wideranging wine list (the Alasia Sec comes highly recommended) and some winning cocktails, the Colonist (a Rittenhouse rye wonder) and Cucumber Martini especially.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £5.45; mains from £8.75; desserts from £5.45. Wines from £21 per bottle; cocktails from £7.50.

VERDICT A fantastic Wimbledon addition we can’t recommend highly enough. AM BEHIND THE BAR

benitos-hat.com 74-78 The Broadway, SW19 1RQ

theoldfrizzle.co.uk

Wimbledon

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Thank you for sticking up for me.

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I’m a fan of Prince Harry, but if he is going to cavort naked in front of people with cameras, then he has to take what’s coming to him. He should know by now that anything he does that’s considered out of the ordinary will be splashed across the media. Any attempts to ban the pics on the internet will set the royal family’s new cooler image back a bit. Harry should embrace it. No one really cares and it made people like him even more.

Siobhan, via email

ROB’S A KNOB?

LOOKING GOOD

I saw the photos TNT Magazine took of Robbie Williams at Spitalfields (tntmagazine.com). What, the same Robbie who couldn’t be arsed coming back from the US for the Olympics to help out Take That cause he couldn’t leave his pregnant wife?

Poor old Gary Barlow managed it. Now here Robbie is, swaggering around London a mere few days later. What a twit.

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If General Pants Co. Australia only wants to hire good-looking people (tntmagazine.com), I guess it’s their choice. If it works, then they were right; if they fail, they’ll re-evaluate their procedures. I’m more interested in the product than who sells it to me.

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ASSANGE FAN Why should Wikileaks chief Julian Assange give himself up when he’s done nothing wrong? There is no way the UK would risk diplomatic suicide just to hand him over to Sweden for questioning. The whole saga is politically motivated – why can’t Sweden question him from inside the embassy or via videolink? Why won’t Sweden guarantee he won’t be extradited to the US? Victoria Buckland, via Facebook ISLE OF WIGHT /64 PANAMA /82

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Bowled Over The sun’s come out and we figured it’s time for a barbie, some tunes and a roll on the lawn

lawn bowls tournament Grab a bunch of mates and head down for an afternoon of barefoot bowls

bodeans BBQ

For the rib-licious experience, we smoke it low cook it slow

dj live entertainment All day entertainment till late

Our first ever Barefoor Bowls event Tickets

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When: Sunday Sept 9 - From Midday Southwark Sports Bowls Club, SE21 7EU

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The spirit of indie-pendance

festival

SUNDOWN

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THE 1-2-3-4 SHOREDITCH FEST Shoreditch Park SAT, SEPT 1 | DOORS AT 12.30 | £20+

A smaller entry in the festival calendar, this Norfolk weekend comes towards the end of the season. Saturday is pure pop with the likes of Olly Murs, Katy B and Pixie Lott. Sunday goes for a dance slant, with Chase and Status (live) headlining, alongside Sub Focus, Zane Lowe (below) and Labrinth.

There’s a Friday opening party, as well as Saturday and Sunday after party bashes as well, so see the summer out with style.

September 1-2. £55 weekend ticket Norfolk Showground, NR5 0TT sundownfestival.co.uk Norwich

Purging the London festival landscape of its homogenised, alt-MOR leanings is Shoreditch’s leftfield quirkfest in the heart of the city’s cauldron of cool.

Celebrating the types who love their DIY individuality over pandering to mainstream acceptance, the likes of Leeds hardcore group Eagulls rub shoulders with headliners Dutch punk outfit Savages, and grunge rockers Arrows of Love share a stage with noisesmiths Iceage, with a plethora of musical styles on show.

Indie dancers Coastal Cities bring a spot of sun-drenched shape-throwing to the show, along with pop saviours Citizens! and indie rockers The Neat. Perennial oddball and prolific workman Steve Morell joins the bill, with The Duke Spirit (above) sure to be received like returning champs, and the Buzzcocks occupying the prestigious original innovators slot. Public Service Broadcasting, whom we championed in these pages back in March, embodies the festival’s spirit as live and sampled beats clash, set to old public service broadcasts, with instrumentation laid over the top (everything from a mandolin to crunching guitar riffs), yet without sacrificing a pop sensibility. It’s music that’s confident of its place and purpose, with something to say, yet shorn of any nonsensical, style-first posing.

If you want to see some of the hippest acts and artists working out there right now, or want to see someone you’ve never even heard of before (and probably won’t see again anytime soon) this unpredictable line-up is a sure bet. There’s also a host of local after parties (Shacklewell Arms, Underbelly) to choose from, too.

Old Street

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NEW BAND

JOSS STONE GIG WED, SEPT 5. 7PM £25

The breakout star, who smashed the charts with her debut album at the grand old age of 13, is already up to album number five, Soul Session Vol 2, by the age of 25. She’s taking her latest collection of pop-soul-ditties out on the road, with support from Brighton’s funk rockers Yes Sir Boss and Leigh Coleman.

Photos: Getty

O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT She Bu o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

WE, LIKE YOU ALL-NIGHTER

WAREHOUSE PRESENT: NICK CURLY, STEVIE T

CLUB

CLUB

FRI, AUG 31. 8PM-6AM £8+

SAT, SEPT 1. 10PM-7AM £10+

Electro, bass, and even the odd moment of jazz conspire to hit the spot at this eclectic-andproud night. It features performances from The Correspondents, Extra Curricular and London Afrobeat Collective, alongside the likes of basshead Deboa, Black Tie DJs, DJ Marky, Novice of Genius, Beats in Abundance and more.

The refurbed Warehouse celebrates its third party with this tech-house indulgence that boasts none other than German DJ, producer and Cecile Records boss Nicky Curly. After rising through the ranks from promising talent to genre heavyweight, he’s recently been honoured with his own residency at Space, Ibiza.

Jamm 261 Brixton Road, SW9 6LH Brixton brixtonjamm.org

Warehouse Unit H9, 35 Harbert Road, N18 3HT Tottenham Hale warehouseldn.com

DEER TICK

FOUR WEDDINGS AND A DISCO

GRANDADDY

GIG

CLUB

GIG

WED, SEPT 5. 7.30PM £13

SAT, SEPT 1. 9.30PM-2.30AM £5+

TUES, SEPT 4. 7PM £20

The Rhode Islanders eschewed the folky, soulful tunings of their earlier output for this year’s fourth record, Divine Providence, a long player that aimed to capture their riotous live sound.

It succeeded, serving up a cornucopia of tracks of cacophonous, bar room rock-outs, primed for small, intimate shows like this.

Australia’s number one wedding DJ, Bruce Dunny, brings his own his bag of rock‘n’roll, pop and disco to town for this night of nuptial tuneage. The first 25 through the doors get pineapple and cheese on a stick, there’s a photographer on hand for the night and no shortage of fun and nonsense to be had.

They’ve been on a six-year exile that most, with little word to the contrary from the band, interpreted as an end-of-the-road split. The California indie rockers, though, have returned and bring their juxtaposing electronica-meetsAmericana tunes to town, alongside the vinylonly reissue of their first three albums.

Scala 275-277 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL King’s Cross scala-london.co.uk

The Phoenix 37 Cavendish Square, W1G 0PP Oxford Circus fourweddingsandadisco.com

O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT She Bu o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

TAFFY THE BUZZ SO FAR This Tokyo-bred four-piece are in thrall to the jagged, indie fretwork of Graham Coxon and honeyed vocals of Nineties Britpoppers such as Elastica, Echobelly and their ilk. As cycles go, the Nineties are retro-hot right now. Even if the decade wasn’t in vogue, though, Taffy embrace their genre of choice with such reckless enthusiasm, conjuring infectious harmonies into the bargain, that it’s impossible not to be swept up by their energy.

THE CRITICS SAY “Smile-inducing bubblegum pop.” NYLON THE PLUG New single Flower Chain is out Sept 3 through Club AC30.

They play Brixton Windmill 22 Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ Brixton, Oct 24, £6.50 windmillbrixton.co.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS MONDAY 27 Garden Party & Paradise 45 Presents DJs Pete Herbert, Severino, Guy Williams, Ashley Beedle, Diesel, Dave Jarvis, Lindy Layton and Ben Jamin spin house, garage, reggae and disco, plus a live set from Dub Pistols. The Masons Arms, Harrow Rd, NW10 5NU (020 8960 2278). 2pm-2am. £12.

Heatwave Vs Meltdown - Official Carnival After Party DJs Quincy, Larizzle, D Tee, Live Linq, Invasion Crew, Mad Influence, Neptizzle and Mr Silva spin reggae, hiphop, R‘n’B and bass tracks.

Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ (020 7820 6613). 9pm-late. £10.

Jaded Raymundo Rodriguez and guests spin house, techno and electronica. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

5am-1pm. £12, concs £8.

Rompa’s Reggae Shack & This Is Underground Presents Marcus Visionary, Brockie, Wookie, DJ Profile, Hijak, Rattus Rattus, El Matadore, Carnival Kids, Positive Vibes Crew, The Farm Yardies, Kongo Sound, Daddy Nature and Lofty spin drum ‘n’ bass, garage, reggae, dub, dancehall, dubstep, jungle and house.

Garden Bar, Bramley Rd, W10 6SZ (020 7229 1111). 1pm-late. £15.

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FIRE: IN SESSION - MIXMAG LIVE Fire, Sept, 15. £12.50+ Fire launches a season of leading brands-hosted events, with Mixmag Live – Steve Aoki (above), South Central and more – in charge of this launch bash.

SW8 1RT

Vauxhall

firelondon.net

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus supply electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

WEDNESDAY 29 Aquila Resident DJs spin house, hip-hop, electro and dubstep.

Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm1.30am. £12, guestlist £8.

Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, alternative, rock and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland.

Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm, £1 before 11pm, £3 before 1am.

Choke Resident DJs play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist NUS/w/flyer £3, NUS £4.

Staunch Carnival Special DJs Loefah, Zed Bias, Animal Youth, Dusky and Klose One spin dubstep, techno and electronica, plus A Guy Called Gerald performs live.

Supperclub, Acklam Rd, W10 5QZ (020 8964 6600). 5pm-1am. Adv £10,

Latin Zouk DJs Onda Amor and Mishka Zouk supply R‘n’B and Latin sounds, with zouk dance classes available. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 7pm-midnight. £8, classes & club £10, first timers free.

TUESDAY 28 Balearic Resident DJs spin deep, vocal and Balearic house to evoke the spirit of Ibiza.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, guestlist Free.

Marbella Reunion Party Resident DJs spin house, R‘n’B and pop, plus host Sam Grierson.

Aura, St. James’s St, SW1A 1JT (020 7499 9999). 10pm-3am. gents/ ladies £20, ladies free before 10.30pm.

Midnight A Go-Go 80s pop, rock and hip-hop courtesy of Kotki Dwa. The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511). 9pm-late. £5.

Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop.

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/flyer free before 10.30pm.

Stupid Tuesday Resident DJs provide funky house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

22

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Smile Resident DJs play funky house, club classics and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £4, £3 before midnight.

Wednesday DJ Gringo Da Parada spins Latin, funk, samba and swing. Floripa, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228). 5pm-2am. £10, £5 before 11pm, free before 9pm.

THURSDAY 30 I Love Fwd Resident DJs and guests supply house, funk and electronica. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 9.30pm-2am. £7.

Invader Compilation Lp Launch Invader DJs, Ben Morris, Benjamin and Jacksun Fear DJs spin house music, hip-hop, garage and electronica. The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618). 8pm-1am. Free.

Love Present DJs Rob Bailey and Chris Dale spin 60s club soul, ska, Motown, R‘n’B and boogaloo. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482).

10pm-late. £5, free before midnight.

Radio The Radio DJs play 80s pop, indie and disco. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, free before 9pm.

Society John Brooks spins funky and uplifting house and dance anthems. Lo-Profile, Wardour St, W1F 0TQ (020 7734 3444).

10pm-3am. £8, £5 before midnight.

Wah Wah 45s Presents DJs Dom Servini and Scrimshire spin Afrobeat, Latin, house, rock ‘n’ roll and soul, plus a live performance from They Say Jump. Floripa, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228).

5pm-1am. £4, free before 8pm.

FRIDAY 31 Electric Fridays AK Steppa spins deep house, garage and electronica. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Friday Nick Grimshaw and guests supply funk, soul and party classics.

Paradise By Way Of Kensal Green, Kilburn Ln, W10 4AE (020 8969 0098).

8pm-2am. £5 after 9pm.

The Loft: No Diggity DJs Donna Sasa, Vaitea, Wildcut and Saz spin hip-hop, reggae, electro, soul and funk, plus MC Vaitea. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706). 10pm-3am. £5.

The Silver Bullet Presents DJs Lipgloss, Richey Rose, Julia Justice and Joe Atari spin indie and disco, plus live sets from Strangedays and Goodbye To Romance. The Silver Bullet, Station Place, N4 2DH (020 7619 3639).

7.30pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4 Tonker Resident DJ Tim Jones and guest play house, chart and dance. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903).

9pm-3am. £6, free before 10pm, mems £5 after 10pm.

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Uplifting Trance DJs Neill Moore, James Rae, DJ Erc, Rascal Van Russ, Adanessi, Lorenzo Barrero, Ed Lynam and Carl Rowlinson spin psychedelic and euphoric trance. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm7am. £10, free before midnight.

London Largin’ It! DJs Lawrie Immersion, Jerome Hill, Liberator DJs, Sterling Moss, Zebedee, Darc Marc, Gizelle, The Geezer, Ant, Agent Rackitt, DDR and Tiddles spin techno and electronica. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-6am, Adv £8

We, Like You All Nighter DJ Deboa, Donewrong, Black Tie DJs, Marky, Novice of Genius and Beats In Abundance spin drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep, plus live sets from The Correspondents, Extra Curricular and London Afrobeat Collective. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537). 8pm-6am. £10 & £12.

Theo Parrish The Detroitbased veteran DJ plays disco, house and techno. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 10pm-4am. £10.

Whip It Resident DJs spin rock, pop, indie and soul. Amersham Arms, New Cross Rd, SE14 6TY (020 8469 1499). 10pm-3.30am. £3, NUS £2, mems £1, free before 11pm.

Songs Of Praise: Praising Summer Rites Indie, pop and rock courtesy of DJs The Sugalow Boys, David Oh, Neil Prince, Noise DJ and Laurence And The Machine. East Bloc, City Rd, EC1V 1JN (020 7253 0367).

10.30pm-6am. £7, £5 before midnight.

Wild Life! Alex Warren and Kev Kev play R‘n’B and hip-hop classics upstairs, while DRM RLL PLS spin techno, bass and electro in the basement.

The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958).

8pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

SATURDAY 1 Cohesion:The Reception DJs Baby K, Pan, Djane Dee, Djane Sati, Thallom, Aza Dee, Sachin, Prozak and Spunky Lobster spin psychedelic trance. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-7am. £10, free before midnight.

Different Circles DJ Mumdance spins grime rave and techno house tracks with guest DJs Eastwood, Brackles, Tom Lea, Temple, Chris Yaxley, French Crops and Guitars Have Ghosts.

The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958).

8pm-2am. £6, free before 9pm.

Future Disco DJs James Murphy, Pat Mahoney, Hot Chip Vs The 2 Bears, Juan Maclean and Sean Brosnan spin electronica, disco, house and indie. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760). 10pm-6am. Adv £20.

Ghetto Lounge Autumn Special Koichi Sakai & MC Clapper Priest and Kay Suzuki spin dancehall and soul in room one and in room two D.Vyzor and Siclano Silva play samba funk and Afrobeat.

With live performances from Ozi Ozaa and Minn Diarabi.

Passing Clouds, Richmond Rd, E8 4AA (020 7168 7146).

8pm-3am. £8, £5 before 10pm.

House Clique Resident DJs play house and dance.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Labrynth Presents RatPack, Ellis Dee, Skie, New Kru, Squirrell, G Magikal, Merlin, BackLash, Colin Dale, Vinyl Matt, Swifty, Miss Monday, Reevo, Mystque, Ped and Johnny Fat Boy spin old school rave and acid house across two rooms. Crucifix, Crucifix Ln, SE1 3JW. 10pm-6am. £20, concs £12, see www.residentadvisor.net for details.

Punk Saturday DJ Ollie Humphreys plays dance, pop and house. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004).

10pm-4am. £20, guestlist/concs £15.

Synopsis Part 2 Dan Ghenacia, Rainer, Greg Brockmann and Sami Daik provide drum ‘n’ bass and dance beats.

The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339).

10pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

We Fear Silence Present DJs Black Sun Empire, Calyx, Teebee, Audio, Gridlok, Blokhe4d and Inside Info spin drum ‘n’ bass and jungle, plus MCs Ryme Tyme, 2Shy and MC XL. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

10pm-6am. £14, adv/NUS £12.

SUNDAY 2 Horse Meat Disco Residents Jim Stanton, Luke Howard, James Hillard and Severino spin disco and house on rotation.

Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 8pm-3am. £6.

Later D’Johnny, Paul Martin, The Oli, The Sharp Boys and Jamie Head spin house music.

Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 11.30am-8pm. £6, w/flyer £5 before 1.30pm.

Pause Resident DJs spin house, disco, hip-hop, chart, funk and Latin. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-6am. £10.

Shaka Zulu Sunday DJ Fenomeno spins funky house and hip-hop.

Shaka Zulu, The Stables Market, NW1 8AB (020 3376 9911).

8pm-2am. gents £10, ladies £5.

Soulvolution Terry T-Rex, Jeffrey Hinton, DJ QBee, David Rosen and Johnny Rogue play soul. Zen Sai, Inverness St, NW1 7HJ (020 7424 9527). 9pm-2am. Free.

Star Life!! Resident DJs spin chart, R‘n’B and hip-hop.

Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715).

10pm-3am. gents guestlist £7, ladies guestlist £5, gents £5 before 10.30pm, ladies free before 10.30pm.

Tutti Frutti Soul, disco, and raw house music courtesy of DJ Squeaky. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 9pm-2.30am. Free.

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MONDAY 27 Africa Unplugged A showcase of African music featuring 2Face Idibia, Zahara, Femi Kuti, Cabo Snoop, Fally Ipupa, R2bees, Sarkodie, Flavour, Iyanya, Zakes Bantwini, Chameleone and Winky D. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £25-£150.

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Jon Boydon, The Wondersmiths The London-based singer and stage actor performs light-hearted rock and pop with his backing band in support of his debut Three Four. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £16.

Dbanj, Davido, Sina Rambo, B-Red Nigerian singer-songwriter Dapo Daniel Oyebanjo performs Afrobeat and reggae fusion.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £20-£50.

Elliot Canavan Doyle, Tom Pound The Meath-based singersongwriter and guitarist plays soulful acoustic pop and indie.

New Cross Inn, New Cross Rd, SE14 6AS (020 8692 1866). £3.

Lydia Lunch & Cypress Grove, We Are Birds Of Paradise, The Amusiacs, Tin Tone Army, Mika Doo, Captain Steve Smyth Alt and experimental blues by the New York-born singer in combination with the guitarist and songwriter, Grove. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £6, adv £5.

Damo Suzuki, The Dream Machine Allstars, Micky Gloss, Umez Psych and experimental rock by the Japanese musician. The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £8, adv £7.

TUESDAY 28 At The Drive-In, Mmoths A reunited line-up of the American post-hardcore band featuring The Mars Volta members Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and Sparta frontman Jim Ward. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £30.

Au Palais The London-based duo performs gloomy and Gothic electro-pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). £5.

Dog Eat Dog, Mumcuss, CB6 The American three-piece plays hardcore punk and rap metal.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £15.

The Effect, Mouth Of Ghosts, From The Cry Alt rock by the fourpiece band originating in Swansea.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £5.

HAPPY MONDAYS The Roundhouse, Dec 19 & 20. £32.50 The baggy lads are back to bring their kinky afros, bellyaches and general geezerness to the Madchester reunion train.

NW1 8EH

Chalk Farm

roundhouse.org.uk

Priceless London Wonderground: Camille O’Sullivan: Changeling The singer and actress airs her latest album, performing reinterpretations of Arcade Fire, Radiohead and Snow Patrol alongside her favoured songwriters, Jacques Brel, Nick Cave and Tom Waits. The London Wonderground Spiegeltent, Jubilee Gardens, off Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0844 545 8282). Also Wed, Fri & Sat, £19.50 & £24.50, concs £17.50.

Tinchy Stryder London-based charttopping garage, hip-hop and R‘n’B rapper. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £5.

The Whitest Boy Alive Electrodance outfit featuring Erland Oye. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). £25.

WEDNESDAY 29 Martin Alvarado Argentinian folkrock and tango singer-songwriter and guitarist. Lauderdale House, Highgate Hill, Waterlow Park, N6 5HG (020 8348 8716). £12, adv £10.

The Deep Dark Woods, Jackie Green The Canadian five-piece plays indie-folk from its album The Place I Left Behind. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £10.

Dive Bella Dive, Proxies, The Hype Theory, Maycomb The London-based alternative pop band, with members from London and Seattle, fuses bass riffs, chants and big dance rhythms.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £7.

Mutefish The Dublin-based band plays a blend of folk, punk and reggae. Power’s, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 2QN (020 7372 4598). £5.

The Low Anthem The American five-piece plays melodic and world-weary indie-folk in support of the album Smart Flesh. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £15.

The Pre New, Chips For The Poor, All We Are Synth pop, glam rock and punk courtesy of former members of Earl Brutus, with an energetic London-based fourpiece and Liverpool-based trio in support. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). £8, adv £6.

Emilia Martensson, Barry Greene Trio, Maddy Whitney The Londonbased Swedish singer-songwriter and accompanying musicians perform mainstream jazz and folk from the album And So It Goes...

The Spice Of Life, Moor St, W1D 5NA (020 7739 3025). £10, concs £8.

Memoryhouse The Toronto-based two-piece plays dream pop. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8.

The Wishing Well Folk-rock by the Melbourne-based band. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £5.

Patrick Wolf, Abi Wade The singer-songwriter from London plays indie and folktronica.

Old Vic, The Cut, SE1 8NB (0844 871 7628). £10-£30.

THURSDAY 30 Bush Alt rock four-piece led by singer Gavin Rossdale performs in support of the album The Sea Of Memories. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £27.50.

The Cranes The Portsmouthformed band plays dream pop and indie. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £13.50.

Defiance, Ohio, Martha, Some Sort Of Threat, Slow Science, Sonic The Comic DIY folk-punk by the band from Bloomington, Indiana. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191). £7.

Done By Sunrise, The Stags, Bad Cartoons, The Farrows, Escaping Juliet The Midlands-based band plays acoustic pop.O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £6.

The Fleas, The Kubricks, JJ Symon, Katang Allstars Indie folk-rock by the London-based outfit.

New Cross Inn, New Cross Rd, SE14 6AS (020 8692 1866). £3.

The Glendale Family, Jennifer Left Contemporary folk by the band from the North West of England.

Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137). £7, adv £5.

Hot August Fringe 2012: Andi Fraggs The electronic musician and producer from Merseyside performs songs touching on the subjects of homophobia, addiction, love, suicide, abuse and governments from the album Always First. Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). £7.

I Am Harlequin Singersongwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer Anne Freier plays classically-influenced alt pop with an electronic twist. The Black Heart, Greenland Place, NW1 0AP (020 7428 9730). £6.

Karma To Burn, Desert Storm, Diesel King, Beer Vs Manero Stoner rock and desert rock by the three-piece from Morgantown, West Virginia. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £12.

Never The Bride London-based pop-rock five-piece led by singer Nikki Lamborn. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.

Mostly Autumn Classic Celtictinged prog-rock from Bryan Josh and his band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

Nimmo And The Gauntlets, The Promenade The five-piece with members from London and Brighton play catchy indie-pop and rock. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £5.

The Soothsayers The Londonbased collective plays Afrobeat, roots, reggae and funk. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

Kate Simko, The Caulfield Beats, Lookleft & Bearight, Kristoff Axelson, Pawtraits, Kali Electronic music by the Chicago-based musician, composer and producer.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £10.

FRIDAY 31 City Yelps, The Stanley Blacks, The Inconvenience, Zerocall Punk band from Leeds. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 1773). £7.

The Hosts, Veins, Imperial Leisure The Sheffield-based band plays alternative rock and indie. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). Adv £15.

Jeff The Brotherhood, Bo Ningen Grunge and psych-rock, blended with indie, punk and garage, by the Orall brothers from Nashville to promote the album Hypnotic Nights. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £10.

Kool & The Gang R‘n’B, funk and pop by the hit-making band from New Jersey. Boisdales Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £10-£40.

Nations Afire The Los Angelesbased band plays rock, punk and hardcore. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £12.

Observing The Ghost, Kentish Fire, Know Your Rights, Komla, Franklyn, Amy Wyke Experimental and prog rock by the Portsmouthbased band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £7.

Polar Bear Club, Into It. Over It The US outfit plays punk-rock and post-hardcore.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.

SATURDAY 1 Dave & Ansell Collins The Jamaican vocal and keyboard duo performs reggae. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). Adv £20. iTunes Festival 2012: Usher The chart-topping US singer performs R‘n’B and pop from the album Looking 4 Myself. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 4828008 ). Free, tickets allocated by ballot, apply for tickets at www.itunesfestival.com.

Swingin’ Utters, Our Time Down Here Punk-rock by the band from California. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £13.50.

The 1-2-3-4 Shoreditch 2012 Contemporary music showcase featuring Savages, Iceage, Holograms, Buzzcocks, Gabriel Bruce, Antlered Man, Gross Magic, Let’s Wrestle, The Neat, The Proper Ornaments, Bo Ningen, The Duke Spirit, Citizens!, Deap Vally and many more. Shoreditch Park, New North Rd, N1 6TA (020 7324 5098). £25, adv £20.

SUNDAY 2 Bruce Cockburn Folk-rock from the veteran Canadian singer-songwriter and guitarist.

Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £20. iTunes Festival 2012: Ed Sheeran, Charli XCX Soulful acoustic pop from the Halifax-born singersongwriter. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 4828008 ). Free, tickets allocated by ballot, apply for tickets at www.itunesfestival.com.

Charlene Kaye, Rebecca Zoe Indie-rock, pop and soul, with a retro feel by the Hawaiianborn singer, now resident in New York. Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). £12.

The Masonics, The Nuns Garagerock and punk with a flavour of R‘n’B by the Londonbased, three-piece band. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £6, adv £4.

Andy Muscat, The Blue Carnation, Doll Rates, Black Shark, The Tied London-based indie singersongwriter. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10.

The Sweetback Sisters, The Henry Brothers, Troubadour Rose Retro-country and rockabilly by the band from New York. The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £6.

Woods The New York-based band performs campfire indie-folk and lo-fi rock in support of its album Sun And Shade. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). Adv £10.

You & Whose Army, Go Out With A Bang, My Favourite Everything, Victims Of Reality Metalcore outfit from Milton Keynes.

Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5.

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Tom Conti The British actor on the perils of the legal system, battling injustice, and why film sets can be a tiring waste of time INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Your new play Rough Justice is about a journalist who finds himself charged with murder. Did its attitudes towards the law provoke debate?

My character’s a big media figure, he presents news and current affairs programmes, like Panorama, but suddenly he is in the dock where the judge is the boss, and he is nothing. It is interesting how the law doesn’t make a distinction between legal and fair, it’s just ‘the law’ that matters. The fact it can be grossly unfair cannot be considered.

It’s a very contemporary play...

Very much so. The hope is you go away arguing about it – about the verdict, the motives, the law and whether it treated the defendant properly.

Are legal injustices common?

There are sometimes the most appalling injustices and the reasons are, frequently, lying coppers. But even if people know that, the only thing that the court has to go on is the evidence in front of them. They can’t go: “I think whoever’s not telling the truth.”

You’ve been outspoken about local councils before. Have you considered running in a political capacity?

No, it would drive me nuts, because you can’t get anything done – committees always fail and that’s why governments fail. Common sense is put on the back bench in favour of political experience. The only thing governments want is to stay in power. It’s clear what’s happening at the moment isn’t working, but the only thing you can do to get the country going again is to radically slash income tax. We can’t hope the country to move financially when no one is allowed to have any money. It is so obvious!

Photos: Getty

Does government need to change?

I don’t think any of them are any good or have any imagination. And they are all too young, you shouldn’t allowed in cabinet until you have run a bun shop for a year, and successfully so, too.

How’s acting changed over you career?

There’s a lot of talk about the rise of the digital age, and how theatre is ‘outdated’. Despite this, theatre’s popularity has never changed. Since

‘Hurry up and wait’ just won’t do people have been on earth, we’ve been making up stories for others. There’s something about listening to live storytelling that fascinates.

Are you happiest on stage?

That’s where the fun is because you are working all the time – you go in in the evening, you are on the stage for two hours and then you leave.

If you are making a movie you’re up at 6am, you get home at 8pm, and you’ve spent a lot of that time waiting around, reading a book.

Was that the case on your most recent film, The Dark Knight Rises?

When I am at work, I like to be working. It’s been great fun, but as I get older, I get more irritated by the waste of my time, especially if I’m sitting in a motor home. And TV’s the same.

TV’s critical fortunes have changed in the last decade. Has this pleased you?

Certainly in the US, where the quality of writing is so great, it has. But the British TV industry has a way to go. It needs courage! It has been in the doldrums for the last 15 years. Even if we’d had the money, I doubt very much that you would have had The West Wing or The Sopranos, or Six Feet Under here.

We get Doctor Who instead…

Yes, and Sherlock bloody Holmes.

Do you still love theatre’s ‘anything might happen’ nature?

That’s the best thing about it. Being out there in front of however many people every night makes anything that goes wrong a phenomenal drama.

Any bad experiences recently?

I went back in a play called Art a few years ago.

I had done it before and [actor] Judd Hirsch had to return to New York before the end of his stint.

They called me and said: “Do you remember it?”

It had been a year, but I thought: “I know this.”

I did two runs, on a Tuesday and Thursday, then opened the following Monday and dried up.

How so?

I couldn’t remember a thing, so looked to the guy beside me. He’d been doing it for five months, but he looked back blankly. I wandered off stage to find the prompt, but she was reading a magazine, so I tried to find where we were. Even though the audience were watching an empty stage they still thought there was a reason for it.

My wife, though, was bleeding from the ears.

Do you still get first night nerves then?

Oh god yes, it doesn’t get any less terrifying!

Rough Justice, Richmond Theatre. Sept 3-8. £15+ The Green, TW9 1QJ atgtickets.com Richmond

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‘It’s not what it looks like!’

A FEW BEST MEN FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Xavier Samuel, Kris Marshall | 15 | 96mins | On general release Aug 31

TOTAL RECALL FILM STARRING: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel | 12A | 118mins

The Arnie classic is retooled with a pre-teen rating, meaning much of Paul Verhoeven’s icky Eighties sensibility (arm-severing, the threetitted woman, the brutal and bloody fighting all the way through!) will be left on the sidelines. Farrell’s going to have his work cut out besting Arnie in what was one of his signature roles from his action heyday.

On general release from August 29

28

Sydney-born filmmaker Stephan Elliott takes the helm for this farcical wedding comedy that mixes equal parts American Pie: The Wedding and The Hangover with an element of Four Weddings And A Funeral’s Brits coming a cropper.

David (Samuel) has been off travelling round the world only to return to rainy London with news for his trio of mates – he’s marrying Aussie Mia and moving to Australia. A trip Down Under for the nuptials, though, ends up a drug-and-drinkfuelled disaster as David’s best men prove themselves anything but.

Mixing a camp sensibility with gross-out humour, the edges here are a little uneven, but there are enough laughs to maintain things through the snappy running time: a drug dealer with paternal issues; spiking a sheep with laxatives; a stag night with debauched results; and Olivia Newton John’s coke-crazed motherin-law in particular are just some of the obstacles David has to contend with.

There are some decent performances, Marshall and Kevin Bishop in particular as the troublemaker mate and his Hitler-tached accomplice, with supporting turns from Steve Le Marquand as a trouser-phobic dealer, and Aus stand-up Jonathan Biggins as the politician father-in-law whose son-to-be threatens his image.

It’s good natured enough, even though it does become ever more hysterical by the third act. For every set piece that nails it, there are a handful that fly wildly off the mark, too, all of which makes for enjoyable if not exactly necessary viewing.

It’s fun and frothy while it lasts, and has the knowledge not to outstay its welcome.

GOOD FOR: Those who don’t demand too much from their romantic comedies

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The Pajama Men lose their bedtime costumes and rock up in their street clothes for this short run in which the entire show is improvised. No two nights will be the same, and the US duo will have a slate of special guests for the shows, too. A rare treat to get to see this highly praised sketch outfit surviving on their wits alone.

Ha ha!

Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Sept 3-15. £15+ Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

BT ROAD TO 2012: FACING EAST

JULIUS CAESAR

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Students from the University of East London embarked on a 12-week project to capture the spirit and heart of the East End of London in the run-up to what’s been one of the biggest years yet for the capital. The 65 photos on display feature Gamesmakers, commuters, landlords and locals, in a true portrait of East End life.

Updating and relocating Shakespeare’s historically based tragedy yields powerful dividends in Gregory Doran’s vibrant production, set in a modern African state where Brutus and his co-conspirators convince themselves Caesar, like his immense upstage statue, has turned his back on the ideals that saw him elected.

Four Corners 121 Roman Road, E2 0QN. Until Sept 9. Free Bethnal Green npg.org.uk/roadto2012

Noel Coward St Martin’s Lane, WC2N 4AU. Until Sept 15. £15+ Leicester Square rsc.org.uk/caesar

SHARRON MATTHEWS What’s the show about? Solid gold pop hits! Solid gold diggers — namely those useless Kardashian Wenches! And fabulous solid gold sequin dresses! So, there is a lot of gold, really.

Photos: Robert Workman

What’s the funniest thing you have seen this week? Oh my lord in heaven, I just arrived back from the freaky event that was A Night With David Hasselhoff. There were beach balls, feather head dresses, Berlin Walls being kicked over, tired copacabana. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Sadly, a number of times it was during his Jekyll And Hyde ballad.

THE POSSESSION

CAROUSEL

FILM

THEATRE

Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Losers) and Kyra Sedgwick (TV’s The Closer) star in this psychooccult chiller as two parents who fear their daughter has been possessed. Co-produced by horror icon Sam Raimi, its premise calls to mind other possession flicks – chiefly the daddy of them all, The Exorcist – but seasoned pro Raimi should keep the shocks coming thick and fast.

Crammed full of memorable melodies, Rodgers and Hammerstein’s 1945 musical – about the marriage between a womanising fairground barker, Billy, and mill girl Julie – still stirs the heart strings. Jo Davies’ production is irresistibly romantic while giving the darker issues (wifebeating; murder; unemployment) full weight, too.

On general release from Aug 31

Barbican Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS. Until Sept 15. £12.50+ Barbican barbican.org.uk

Where was your first show?

A night of cabaret in Toronto at a gay bar called JJ’s. I rocked the crap out of it, but passed out during my ballad and woke up looking at Judy Garland and Marilyn Monroe.

Judy said: “Don’t worry, sweetie, you aren’t dead ... we are just guys in dresses.” I had to be taken away by paramedics and firemen... who barely made it out of the bar alive.

Sharron Matthews Superstar: Gold Tristan Bates Theatre, 1A Tower St, WC2H 9NP. Aug 31. £8 Tottenham Court Road tristanbatestheatre.com

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The Bondurants: Howard, Forest and Jack

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Kisses amongst the violence John Hillcoat’s new movie, Prohibition Era-set Lawless, brings a new level of emotion to the brutality and alpha males of his previous work WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

Australian filmmaker John Hillcoat has, in the space of five directorial offerings, become known as a purveyor of vivid, visceral yet emotionally honest movies. The Proposition and The Road were both heartfelt but unmistakably brutal, and his latest offering, 1920s-set outlaw thriller Lawless, is no exception. However, it was not the violence of Lawless that attracted Hillcoat, but the chance to make a film in one of his favourite genres.

“The appeal was wanting to do a gangster film,” the 51-year-old Queenslander says. “I love gangster films and Westerns, but the problem with those genres is keeping it fresh. But then coming across this book, it felt it was a Western that became a gangster and I realised, historically, it was almost the tail end of the west and the birth of the gangster period, so that attracted me, too.”

The book in question is 2008’s The Wettest County In The World, a part-fictionalised tale of the notorious US trio of Bondurant Brothers, written by their grandson Matt Bondurant. The siblings were purveyors of an in-demand moonshine in Depression-era Franklin County, Virginia. They were a hard bunch who found their business under threat with the arrival of Chicago mobster Floyd Banner (a sparingly used Gary Oldman – “it’s best to leave you wanting more,” Hillcoat says) and brutal Chicago lawman Charlie Rakes (an almost unrecognisable Guy Pearce who’s “usually so invisible, but here brings a James Cagney-type energy”), sent to quash the brothers by any means necessary.

Hillcoat cast Shia LeBouf as the youngest, physically weakest yet intelligent and highly ambitious brother, Jack; Tom Hardy as Forrest, the bruising, protective yet maternal middle son, “a wound-up force of nature, lethal like a snake”; and Jason Clarke as eldest Howard, a disturbed war veteran.

“We felt because Forrest was the matriach and the patriach of this family, we should make him the oldest,” Hillcoat says. “But in those days, it was tradition for the eldest to be given the respect, and Jason Clarke made a compelling case to restore their ages to how they were in the book, with Howard as the oldest. He was absolutely right.

“You have the older brother with his war memories he’s not been able to deal with, he drinks a lot and is unreliable.

He hasn’t got the control whereas Forrest has got too much because he was left with the family when his brother was

overseas. It made it more dynamic.”

Upsetting the expected dynamic was something Hillcoat and screenwriter Nick Cave (in his third collaboration with the director) gunned for from the start.

“

He’s a wound-up, lethal force of nature

”

“Traditionally in gangster films, these characters go out in a blaze of bullets, we go on the adventure, and we feel good that they’re punished for their sins,” he says. “We wanted to subvert that.”

Indeed, the film is full of contradictions, both in terms of genre expectations and for Hillcoat aficionados. The Australian’s films aren’t known for their female characters: The Road was a post-apocalyptic father-and-son tale and The Proposition was an Aussie western centred around a band ››

Hardy’s brutal yet motherly Forrest, in trademark cardigan TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise from top left: Nick Cave and John at Cannes this year; Gary Oldman; the cast on the red carpet; Guy Pearce’s brutal lawman Rakes

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on urchins intent on harming them or their business, and Guy Pearce’s Rakes is especially nasty. Hillcoat remains unapologetic, citing a responsibility to portray life as it is.

“I prefer to make violence the disturbing, scary thing it

“

Violence is a scary, disturbing thing

”

is,” he says. “To see the physical toll, whether it’s a bullet, knife or a fist, and then the emotional aftermath. For me the key is to make it very messy and chaotic.”

With Lawless, Hillcoat is hoping for a smoother route to the screen, after the infamous wrangling that saw The Road sit idle on the studio shelf as the suits pondered how to sell an end-of-the-world tale lacking CGI-spectacle.

“I am always anxious at this stage. I am very happy with the film, but the marketing campaign can be unpredictable.

I have had a rocky road with my past work on that front,” he reveals, seemingly unaware of the pun.

While Lawless is sure to find deserved commercial and critical success, it seems to have left an impression on Hillcoat that may shape his future work. “Nick and I are now looking for a story that has a female lead – we’ve had our fill of alpha males!” Prisoner Cell Block H, may we suggest?

Lawless is out September 7 through Momentum Pictures

Photos: Getty

of outlaw brothers. ”What me and Nick loved here were the things that turned the genre on its head, one being the female characters,” he reveals. “In gangster films, they’re usually the throwaway molls that hardly get a look in. In this story, the strongest person is Maggie [Jessica Chastain].”

Mysterious big city girl Maggie is stronger than the awkward Forrest and ends up taking over part of his role in the family. “He doesn’t know how to deal with women, especially strong women, and she ends up protecting the whole family and bearing harder truths than they do,” Hillcoat explains. “We loved that the brothers start believing their own legend but that she sees right through it.”

Mia Wasikowska’s Bertha, an Amish girl who catches Jack’s eye, is another female to have an impact, albeit of a different kind. “The innocence and sweetness of their first love was a great contrast to the brutality and complexity of the mature Forrest and Maggie relationship,” he says.

Humour, too, is a new addition to the Hillcoat canon.

Anyone who’s seen The Road will know respite of any kind was in short supply. However, Lawless’s tonal complexity gave Hillcoat the opportunity to branch out.

“Despite the public perception of Nick, he has one of the best senses of humour of anyone I have ever come across, and Tom was very audacious in trying to tease out more humour to Forrest.” One scene, in which a dose of harsh realism is dealt to him by Maggie, is particularly memorable, for his monosyllabic shrugging and grunting response.

This is a Hillcoat film, though, and the lighter moments are counterbalanced with sporadic but exceptionally harsh violence. The Bondurants mete out a furious punishment TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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ARE YOU A FUN, BUBBLY, SOCIABLE PERSON WANTING TO EARN EXTRA MONEY? We require professional, motivated men and women of all ages, who enjoy socialising and meeting new people. We are looking for friendly, bubbly, open minded individuals who pride themselves on being adaptable and getting along with others.

Although hours are normally during evenings and weekends, they can be made flexible to fit around an existing work schedule or adapted to those wanting to work part time.

So whether you work full time and are wanting to get out and meet new people or simply hoping to take a new career direction, this could be the perfect opportunity for you.

Contact us now for more information on 0203 432 8177 or at info@premierevents.biz www.premierevents.biz

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SPARETIME

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Pumped Up!: Summer Running mix

@tntmagazine

Camping Manager 2012

CD

PC

House, electro, drum‘n’bass and trance anthems £5.99 play.com

Eschewing the usual beat-em/shoot-em-up formats for, err, managing a campsite. Really. £19.99 play.com

Elbow: Dead In The Boot

Transformers: Fall Of Cybertron

CD

The closing ceremony heroes’ long-awaited B-sides collection. £8.99 amazon.co.uk

PS3

The battling robots bash the shiny shit out of each other. £38.99 amazon.co.uk

Lee Child: A Wanted Man

The Art of Rap Android app

Movie tie-in that allows you to record and upload your own raps on the go.

Free play.google.com

Book

Otherwise known as Jack Reacher 17, and he’s still kicking ass. £18.99 amazon.co.uk

Football Manager 2012 Kate Grenville: Sarah Thornhill

Android app

Do you need football all the time? Look no further than this addictive game. £6.99 play.google.com

Book

A story of love and families in The Secret River sequel by Aus’s best-selling author. £8.99 play.com

Surprise mugs Gadget

The Walking Dead

Good for a laugh at someone else’s expense. £5.99 findmeagift.com

DVD

Enjoy the second season of this nail-biting (and flesh-biting) zombie series. £25.99 play.com

Audiobot Gadget

A mini ‘beanie-bot’ that’s actually a portable speaker for music in the park. £20

The Lucky One DVD

Zac Ephron stars in this weepie from the pen of best-selling formula-fan Nicholas Sparks. £9.99 tesco.com

urbanoutfitters.co.uk

App of the Week My Travel Cash App

Designed to help you manage your cash, accounts, and exchange rates wherever you are in the world. Numbers just got easy.

Free mytravelcash.com

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LIFESTYLESHOPPING

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Ingenue London Team this Pitot dress with a chunky necklace for a classic style.

Ruby Belle empire dress Glam up your day look with this floaty red number.

Retro Levi’s Go all cowboy chic in this top-notch denim jacket.

brandalley.co.uk

shopdownandoutvintage.co.uk

ingenuelondon.com

£25

.00

.00

£89

.50

£28

SHOPWATCH BOUTIQUE SALE

Of course, rummaging around piles of clothes for a bargain isn’t everyone’s idea of a fun day out. But, if you relish the madness – akin to Primark on a busy Saturday afternoon – then a sample sale is the way forward.

For four days at the beginning of September, you can get your hands on knocked-down priced designer goods which otherwise, realistically, you wouldn’t be able to afford. The Boutique Sale’s quarterly pop-up sample sale includes up to 90 per cent off top names and the latest styles. Expect to see the likes of Peter Jenson, Goat, Tucker, Acne, Mother Denim, Winter Kate and Mara Hoffman. Times vary, so check out the website below for full details, but we recommend getting there earlier to maximise your chances of finding the steal of the century.

OPEN Sept 6-9, times vary boutiquesale.co.uk The Old Truman Brewery, Hanbury Street, E1 6QR Shoreditch High Street

Keds trainers Slob about in style with these casual blue shoes.

Geek Chic Go back to the 1950s with these Buddy Hollyinspired frames.

Vintage fashion

keds.co.uk

opticalise.com

.00

£35

99

£49. .25

£14

Kali brown boots Team these with an over-theknee skirt for on-trend style.

Vintage clip-ons Marcasite and sterling silver gems for a touch of class.

linzishoes.com

.00

£35

houseofbath.co.uk

£12

.50

£30

.00

£39

.99

BB Designs Marvel The Avengers Take your kit to the gym in this retro, comic-themed bag. schuh.co.uk

Kookai silk scarf Wave goodbye to summer with this cute number.

.00

£20

brandalley.co.uk

Lovable Vintage Couture Undress to impress with this 1950s-saucy set. johnlewis.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

SWIM FIT If the Olympics have got you all geared up for improving your fitness, why not start off by splashing around in the water?

There are lots of lidos in London, but this one at London Fields is the capital’s only Olympic-size, 50m heated outdoor pool. You’ll also be following in the athletes’ strokes, as the US Paralympic team will be using it for their training.

London Fields Lido holds a daily Swim Fit class, which means you’ll be able to get your workout out of the way before you head into the office for the daily grind. Running from 6.30am-8.30am Mon-Fri and 8am-10am Sat-Sun, it’s a lane environment so you can pit yourself against the gold medallists by timing yourself. It also means you can take your time if you’re more of a beginner, while the experts do their thing. Who knows, you could be heading to Rio in 2016.

Maybe. After you’ve practiced your breaststroke and honed your front crawl, grab a few snacks from the cafe, head on to the sun terrace, and relax in the sunshine. What better way to start your day?

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Wacky workouts Ditch the treadmill and lose the lunges, there are more exciting ways to exercise WORDS CAROL DRIVER Staring at the TV, pounding away on the treadmill with your headphones in can only be motivational for so long. You’ll first notice you’re losing your workout mojo when you find any excuse not to go to the gym: I really must tidy my room; that paint really does deserve to be watched as it dries.

But rather than stop altogether and pile on the pounds as you console yourself with the myth that you’ve increased your metabolism with all those years of exercise, find something that’s fun and burns calories.

London is full of weird and wonderful workouts, where you’ll be so caught up with the madness of it all, you’ll forget it’s actually good for you.

Here, we showcase our top three.

Great Gorilla Run WHAT: This is not your average fun run. Don a gorilla suit and join hundreds of others who make the 7km trek from the City, taking in sights such as Tower Bridge, the Thames and the Tate Modern. And it’s all for a good cause. You’ll be sweating your bits and pieces off to raise cash to help save wild mountain

gorillas – and you’ll get to see Adam Garcia in the process, as the Aussie actor will also be running. The Great Gorilla run kicked off in 2003, and has so far raised more than £1m for biodiversity conservation and poverty reduction projects in central Africa.

COST: You’ll need to pay £80 to register, which covers the cost of your gorilla costume, which you get to keep, and commit to raising £400 – easy money if you badger your mates on a night down the pub.

WHEN: September 22, at 10.30am (registration from 8.30am) SEE: greatgorillarun.org WACKY RATING: 5/5

Go Ape WHAT: Continuing the monkey theme, Go Ape offers an outdoor workout with a difference – you’ll be swinging through the forest on zip wires, crossing wooden walkways and bridges and climbing treetop ladders. The adventure company has conducted a health and fitness study, revealing that, based on an average of 100120 minutes in the park, women will burn

London Fields West, Hackney, E8 3EU londonfieldslido.co.uk London Fields

Disco on your bike and, right, Go Ape 36

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WHAT’S NEW

Palmolive shower gel Smell like bergamot & verbena £1.99 superdrug.co.uk

On the run: dress as a wild gorilla and go on a 7km jog

about 510 calories, while for men it’s 660 (equivalent to a six-inch pepperoni pizza) during the above-ground fun.

COST: £30 for gorillas (adults).

WHEN: Throughout the day. Trent Park, near Enfield, is a short walk from Cockfosters Tube SEE: goape.co.uk WACKY RATING: 4/5

BOOM! Cycle WHAT: Get out your spandex and your legwarmers for a trip back to the Eighties in this fast-paced, 60-minute spin class with a difference. With classic sing-along tunes blaring in the background – think Abba and Bonnie Tyler – you’ll pedal away, working hard to keep cycling to the beat.

“We’ve seen all sorts of outfits, from leopard print leggings to neon head bands and glitter leotards,” instructor Gerard Luis

says. The class offers a great cardio workout, during which you could burn off up to 1000 calories. You’ll shape up your legs and bum as it uses large muscle groups in your legs – and the music will keep you motivated.

“People ask what the most effective cardio workout is and I always tell them it has to be something that you enjoy – there’s no way anyone will stick to something that don’t like,” Luis adds.

“We make a point of mixing things up a bit to add extra excitement to the classes so you’ll find live DJs and themed classes popping up regularly.”

COST: £9 WHEN: Classes run NEXT WEEK every few weeks at its studio in Shoreditch.

Volunteering SEE: boommybody.com in London WACKY RATING: 4/5

USculpt cream Get abs just like Jessica Ennis. Maybe. £39.50 ultimobeauty.co.uk

Scottish Fine Soaps Keep your soap in this Pop Art tin £4.95 scottishfinesoaps.com

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

TOP TREATMENT: MAROCCAN HAMAM RITUALE This isn’t your average steam room. Porchester Spa – reportedly the oldest in London – boasts this ancient Maroccan ritual. Kicking off with a steam bath, your body will be cleansed and exfoliated. You’ll then lie back for a Rassoul Clay mask body wrap, which is rich in minerals. After all the properties sink into the skin, shower and opt for a massage to soothe away the pains of the working week. Sounds alright to us. £48 Queensway, W2 5HS

gll.org

Bayswater

Slider Lip Balm Pucker up in style with this funky brand £2.95 newlook.com

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Man’s best friend? Learn how to be a profesional dog walker

Virtual careers Fancy learning a new trade and switching jobs? Go online where there’s a host of intriguing distance learning courses WORDS CAROL DRIVER There’s nothing worse than clockwatching; sitting at your desk, waiting for the hours to pass so you can go home to do something more interesting. Do you daydream about running your own business? Or about changing careers? Before you quit your job on a whim, without any safety net, get on the web – there’s online revolution going on.

Distance learning is the new college course. The beauty is you can study in your spare time, when it suits you, without having to commit to an amount of hours every week.

And, what’s more, there are a wealth of courses online that might just help you to sidestep into the job you’ve always wanted.

Here, we highlight our favourites.

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Private investigator WHAT: Of course you’ve always wanted to be a private eye. All that snooping around, surveillance work, tracking people – it’d be just like the movies.

Alison Cole, course administrator at The Academy of Professional Investigations, says: “You could end up surveying a cheating wife or husband; or travelling the world.

“You could be working undercover for a company, working as a cleaner, finding out what goes on behind the scenes; or you could be going into the local pub, surveying a member of staff who’s on long-term sick leave at another company.”

The company offers a 260-hour distance learning course, the BTEC Advanced Private Investigation Level

3 Diploma, which you can study at your leisure, usually taking candidates between three and six months.

You don’t need any previous experience, and will learn how to trace missing persons, criminal investigations, and accident reporting.

COST: £560 for the hard-copy course; £499 for the CD version.

SEE: pi-academy.com

Journalist WHAT: Fancy yourself as a bit of a hack?

Then CTJT is a good place to start. Its freelance journalism course will equip you with the skills you need to earn cash from writing in your spare time.

It includes how to sell your articles to editors – and, most importantly, how to get paid for them. You’ll also learn

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ON THE JOB GUY WILMOT CAREER Manager at Marley Coffee AGE 21 LIVES Islington FROM Fulham How did you get into your line of work?

I used work in the City and had some experience of trading, but got bored very quickly. I joined a company that specialised in importing rare coffees and the work quickly turned into a passion for coffee from bean to cup.

New career: become a private detective or an English teacher about human interest stories, feature writing, interviewing and writing for the internet.

CTJT director Cleland Thom said: “I’ve lost count of the number of people who have used our courses to change careers or to go self-employed.

“Distance learning means you can study when and where you like. It’s completely flexible, so you can fit your coursework around your lifestyle.

“You don’t have to give up your job, so it’s financially viable.”

The course takes between three to six months, and you’ll also be able to Skype with your tutor.

COST: £199.95 SEE: ctjt.biz

Photos: Thinkstock

English teacher WHAT: Fancy teaching English abroad?

Then make sure you know your past from your present tense and have a good grasp of apostrophes with the Grammar Awareness Course run by International TEFL Training.

“The online course will introduce you to all the essential grammar knowledge you need when teaching English,” a spokesman said.

“The grammar covered is what you will find in text books used in language schools from low levels through to higher levels.”

It’s a great addition to the company’s

weekend TEFL course, required when teaching English as a foreign language.

COST: £80 (weekend course £150 for TNT readers).

SEE: i-tefl.com

Dog walker WHAT: You may have thought walking dogs was as easy as holding a lead, but you’d be wrong. Nowadays, owners don’t want to leave their precious pooch with just anyone.

Animal Jobs Direct runs a Professional Dog Walker Diploma, helpful if you’re considering setting up your own business.

Learn about canine body language, first aid and how to handle aggression as well as the laws surrounding dog walking, such as how many pets you can take out at a time.

“Any dog owner employing the services of a dog walker will be reassured the walker knows what they are doing and that their dog is in safe hands,” the website says.

You’ll have a tutor and it’s coursework only, no exams. It’s six modules and takes six months.

COST: £350 or £150 and NEXT WEEK three monthly payments of £85.

Working abroad: SEE: Northern Territories animal-job.co.uk

What do you do day-to-day?

Speaking to producers, retailers and the press, doing paperwork. It’s 24/7, never boring, but also a hell of a lot of work!

What’s the best part of your job?

Marley Coffee UK has just joined forces with charities Crisis and Switchback to help local young people back into the workplace to re-skill. It’s very rewarding to know you are helping people.

What’s the most challenging?

Having enough time in the day to finish everything you want to do. marleycoffee.co.uk

HOW TO... BOOST

YOUR CAREER

It’s where you spend most of your life, so you may as well make the most of it.

• Have a long-term strategy.

Decide where you want to be in 10 years and find people in similar roles for advice.

• Improve your communication

skills. If you’re no good at presenting or getting your view across, take steps to address it.

• Improve your experience by

volunteering for jobs that are outside of your role. It’ll also help to get you noticed.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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tntjobs.co.uk SHANTI INTERNATIONAL T: 020 7561 5295 shanti-international.org.uk We are a UK charity based in London, working in some of the poorest regions in the world

PEACH NURSING T: 01582 635 149 peachnursing.com • Good rate of pay & regular income guaranteed for the right people • In-House / External Training Live Out positions • Daily Travel subsistence

THE FOLLEY T: 0845 468 0102 thefollybar.co.uk Drake & Morgan, a young and dynamic bar and restaurant group that prides itself on delivering customer-focused bars, quality food and drinks, are looking to recruit for The Folly.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Street Fundraiser Location: Holloway, London Salary: £200-£400 per week The main role of a Street Fundraiser is to raise funds using a bucket collection method. We are looking for passionate individuals who are dedicated to making a real difference, hard working and target driven.

020 7561 5295 | hr@shanti.org.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Carers and Qualified Nurses Location: Central and North London Salary: Good Rate of Pay Peach Nursing are offering good rates of pay for Carers and RGNs to work in Central and NW London. We spacialise in Domiciliary Care for the discerning client who wishes to be cared for in their own home. If this is something you can do and you have the relevant experience, please forward your CV to info@peachnursing.com 01582 635 149 | info@peachnursing.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Bartenders and Floor Staff Location: City of London Salary: hourly rate plus service All applicants should have outstanding product knowledge, restaurant and bar experience, attention to detail and an ambition to redefine the service industry. Excellent english verbal and written communication skills are essential as we are looking for applicants who are able to interact freely with the team and delight customers in service.

0845 468 0102 | foni@thefollybar.co.uk

CENTURY 21 ESTATE AGENTS

JOB OF THE WEEK: Sale Associate Location: London Salary: £20k to £60k

T: 0203 3936999 century21uk.com

Century21 are seeking highly motivated sales associates to join our new offices opening soon in South West London, Offering unlimited earning potential and flexible working hours.

Century21 Estate Agents The Worlds largest estate agency network opens in South London

Tim Purnell | 0203 3936999 | timpurnell@century21uk.com

PHYLLIS COURT CLUB

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef de Partie Location: Henley on Thames Salary: £19-20K per annum

T: 01491 570546 phylliscourt.co.uk Lively busy country house club on the banks of the River Thames offering first class dining, accommodation for over 3000 members

NEW ZEALAND HIGH COMMISSION LONDON nzembassy.com/uk

THE VICTORIA T: 020 8876 4238 www.thevictoria.net The Victoria has 7 hotel rooms and serves critically acclaimed food in the dining room and the pub bar.

TNT_1513_JOTW.indd 40

At least 2 years high quality restaurant or hotel experience. The role is responsible for fine dining. You will have responsibility for ensuring the highest standards of food preperation and presentation are achived.

Please send C.V’s to barry.eaton@phylliscourt.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Foreign Policy Analyst Location: London Salary: On application If you are skilled in undertaking policy research projects and are looking for interesting employment, see www.nzembassy.com/uk for a position description.

Applicants must be able to obtain a New Zealand Government security clearance.

A CV and covering letter can be emailed to property@newzealandhc.org.uk Applications close at 5pm on 7 September. Only shortlisted applicants will be contacted.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Full time Breakfast Waitress/Waiter/Barista Location: East Sheen, Richmond Salary: Hourly based on exp.

Must have previous experience in a similar role and be able to communicate effectively in English, have a warm and positive attitude and be able to interact in a professional manner with guests and employees bookings@thevictoria.net Reply with full CV & contact details. References will be requested

24/8/12 18:06:14

Calling South Africans abroad to help

Build the Cloud!

What do we do?

What do we need?

We play a central role in building the Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud (Amazon EC2). AWS Support provides global technical support to a wide range of external customers as they build mission-critical applications on top of AWS services such as Amazon S3 and Amazon EC2

Exceptional Engineers with very strong technical skills and experience. You should be obsessed with customer satisfaction, have a background in computer science and be passionate about cloud computing.

We have open roles available in Cape Town for: Software Development Managers Software Developers Software – Web Development Systems Engineers

Cloud Support Engineers – Linux Product Managers Technical Program Managers Technical Writers

Cool job with a global company who is changing the world of cloud computing, blue skies, white beaches, warm sunny days …… thinking of coming home yet?

If you’re ready to work hard, have fun and make history with us, send your CV to cpt-jobs-tnt@amazon.com or check out all our available roles and apply online at http://bit.ly/aws-cpt-jobs.

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TNT_1513_edit.indd 41

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2012 KEEPSAKE Were you one of the only ones who enjoyed the Olympics Closing Ceremony? Then get your hands on this keepsake.

The SEO-friendly titled A Symphony Of British Music – Music For The Closing Ceremony Of The London 2012 Olympic is available for £8.99 while stocks last from sainsburys.co.uk.

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HOW YOU SPEND IT! pay, but it keeps you from spending money on Fridays and Saturdays and gives you contacts for cheap drinking.

PETTER LARSSON, 24 JOB Intern/ student FROM Höör, Sweden LIVES Seven Sisters How do you budget?

I compare activities to my hourly income, so if I earn

£8/hour I can, for example, drink two £4 pints per hour and feel good about that.

Any money-saving tips for when you first arrive?

Get a job in a bar. It might not give you a lawyer’s

Last big blow-out?

I decided to do a semester in Hong Kong as an exchange student. I ended up buying 10 pairs of new shoes, 10 shirts, two tailor-made suits, and a lot more. I now need to buy a new wardrobe!

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

I pay £30 a month for free calls and internet but my phone has broken, so I can’t surf or call with it – only text, and that costs extra.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! A moment on the lips ... … a lifetime in debt. BBC Travel has unveiled the world’s most expensive foods. If scoffing on luxury delicacies sets you back this much, hand us street food any day

❚ At 3676 dirhams (£630) and made from 23-karat edible gold sheets and organic strawberries, the Golden Phoenix Cupcake in Dubai’s Bloomsbury’s cafe tops the expensive list.

❚ Fancy a nice bowl of soup?

Worth it? The £630 cupcake

London Mayfair restaurant Buddha Jumps Over The Wall’s dish – shark fin, abalone, dried scallops, Hunan ham, pork – is £108.

❚ If you like a tipple, why not fork out $168,000 (£111k) on Australian fine wine Penfold’s 2004 Kalimna Block 42 cabernet sauvignon?

There’s only 12 in the world, so you’d better get in fast. ❚ We all know caviar is expensive, but this takes the biscuit. Buy 50g of farmed sevruga with traditional garnishes and blini for $425 (£280) in Sydney.

Photos: TNT; Bloomsbury’s UAE; YouTube

CHEAP SHREK TICKETS Book to see Shrek: The Musical at Theatre Royal Drury Lane from just £10 with TMDeals from Ticketmaster. Visit ticketmaster.co.uk for details. The offer is valid mid-week, and tickets must be booked at least two weeks in advance for performances between Sept 1 to Oct 12.

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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Out of the smoke: (clockwise) Walthamstow station; Hammersmith and Clapham Common

You may have fallen asleep on the Tube, only to wake at the end stop, seemingly miles from anywhere. Despite first impressions, there are some decent places to live outside of the city centre. And, what’s more, it could save you a bomb in rent, too.

agent, Clapham, says it’s great for active types, adding: “The sprawling common provides the outdoorsy aspect.”

RAIL: Clapham Junction, North, Common and South; Zone 2 RENT: Average flatshare is £650pcm

Hammersmith, west London

Walthamstow, east London

WHAT: At the end of the Circle and Hammersmith & City lines is this thriving area, which locals have loving nicknamed Hammertown. You’ll find plenty of Antipodeans here – as well as more than a handful of decent pubs, including The Distillers on Fulham Palace Road. Head to Hammersmith Broadway to find Tesco, Accessorise, WH Smith and a Disney Store.

The high street in the area is King’s Road, home to Primark, TK Maxx, Argos and Marks & Spencer. There’s also a Sainsbury’s here, and a Tesco superstore is about 10 minutes walk on the way to Shepherd’s Bush.

RAIL: Hammersmith & City, Circle, District, Piccadilly; Zone 2 RENT: Average flatshare about £400pcm

WHAT: At the top of the Victoria line, this town may seem like it’s out in the sticks, but it has great transport links to central London.

Named by spareroom.co.uk as London’s best place to rent this year, it’s becoming increasingly trendy, and boasts Europe’s longest outdoor street market. Choose to live near the town centre to be in the thick

Clapham, south west London

Milk bottle top plates 20s-50s style paxtonandwhitfield.co.uk

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WHAT: If you like your nightlife fast and furious, this is the place to be. Found at the end of the Overground line, and dubbed cosmopolitan Clapham, it’s got trendy bars and restaurants galore (spent a night at The Loft in the high street for warehouse chic).

Again, it’s another spot popular with Aussies, as they drift away from overpriced Earl’s Court. Ed Hulme, at Winkworth estate

of it – with trendy bars such as Eat 17, which serves ethically sourced British food and ales.

Or, set up home close to the marshes and Lea Valley for countryside and activities.

Huseyin Sem, of Kings Group estate

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LIFESTYLELIVING MORE FOOTAGE FOR YOUR BUCK JAMES DAVIS CEO OF ONLINE LETTING AGENT UPAD.CO.UK

agent, in Hoe Street, says the Warner flat, unique to Walthamstow, offers the best value for money. “They are one-, two- or three-bedroom maisonettes, a majority of which can be found in the Lloyd Park area and around Blackhorse Lane,” he explains.

More expensive, and smaller, are the Victorian Terraces, found in the Village area.

RAIL: Walthamstow Central overground, Victoria line; Zone 3 RENT: Average flatshare £400pcm

New Cross, south east London

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

WHAT: Stuck at the end of the Overground, this area may have a reputation as a bit of a dive, and there’s also a lack of Tube, but New Cross is super-cheap. And, if you don’t mind a bit of scuzz, it’s actually got plenty going on thanks to its student population – the area is home to Goldsmiths University, where Britpop legends Blur formed. You’ll find a night out lasts a lot longer as your cash will stretch further in the arty bars. And you can also satisfy cravings for jerk chicken as there are plenty of top-notch Caribbean eateries. For hip burgers, head to Meateasy, which opened in the unlikely location of New Cross Road last year.

RAIL: New Cross; Zone 2 RENT: Average flatshare £430pcm

Ealing Broadway, west London WHAT: Way out west, at the end of the Central and District lines, Ealing Broadway is a thriving area, with lots of pubs, bars and cafes in which wile away the evenings. Here

you’ll find your usual chain pubs, as well as a few trendy, hidden gems, such as The North Star, in The Broadway. But you’ll have no problem finding a different place to eat at every night, as well as venues offering cheap drinks, pool and karaoke. In terms of accommodation, it’s more affordable than trendy east London, with rooms and flats inside Victorian townhouses on offer, attracting young professionals.

You’ll also see a huge influx of Aussies, Kiwis and South Africans, as well as Irish.

Into keeping fit, or like picnics in the sunshine? Head to Osterley Park and Gunnerbury Park – the latter hosts sporting events during the summer.

RAIL: District, NEXT WEEK Central; Zone 3 Spotlight on RENT: Average Wimbledon flatshare £400pcm

“There are many good reasons to live outside of the centre of London.

“When it comes to property, you can get at least double the square footage for your buck. Living outside of central London means that you can often get something bigger. With this in mind, having outside space for that impromptu BBQ or just relaxing in the garden can make all the difference. Bear in mind, you are more likely to get (and be able to afford) a garden outside London.

“One of the great benefits of living outside of the capital is you can escape the rat race in the evenings and weekends. Taking a break from the daily grind and hustle and bustle of central London can be good for your mental and physical wellbeing.

“As well as this, you’ll often find that communities outside of central London have a greater sense of ‘togetherness’ – community spirit is stronger and having a local high street and friendly neighbours can be invaluable. Crime rates are often lower also.

“Reaching central London is very simple. You can often be in the centre within 30mins, so living in zone 1 isn’t a necessity. Great transport links to and from London means there are also plenty of opportunities to living outside of the capital if you’d prefer.

“Another benefit is it’s easier to escape to the country. You can pursue outdoor activities whether that’s walking or cycling with a greater sense of freedom and space.

“It might also be easier to travel to have weekends away if you can avoid living in the centre. Plus, if you have a pet (especially a dog), being close to green spaces will be better for your furry friend.”

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WORLDVIEW

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Good look: mullets at Bogan Bingo

SEARCH IS ON FOR THE BEST MULLET UNITED STATES Are you proud of your scraggly locks?

Then Billy Ray Cyrus wants to hear from you. The country singer has launched a bizarre competition to find the world’s worst mullet haircut.

Cyrus, father of Miley Cyrus – who is now engaged to Aussie Liam Hemsworth – shot to fame in 1992 with his hit single Achy Breaky Heart, but has become more known for his hairstyle.

He’s told his Twitter fans that in celebration of the 20th anniversary of his career, he their pics of mullets for a chance to win flights to Chicago.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @jonnot If you only get 1D in your GCSEs, at least you can pretend you’re a One Direction tribute band @Prince_Harry What happened to, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? @LouiseEyes What’s all the fuss about with Harry? Could have been worse.

Could have been the Queen

ORAL SEX MAKES WOMEN HAPPIER UNITED STATES Women who swallow during oral sex with men are happier and more intelligent, according to a US study.

Scientists at the State University of New York have proved that semen contains a wide range of sleep-improving, moodrising and affection-increasing chemicals.

The study, quizzing 293 females about their sex lives, also claimed regular unprotected sex helped women getting higher scores on cognitive tests. How happy women are catching STDs or getting 46

The great weigh in: every species at London Zoo was measured and weighed in an attempt to monitor the breeds. Meerkats, penguins, giraffes and this giant tortoise were among the animals taking to the scales to make sure they were all healthy. Awww

involuntarily pregnant from non-protected sex wasn’t shown in this study.

American sex columnist Michael Castleman commented the result on Psychology Today: “I’m not advocating that reproductive-age people shun condoms to elevate women’s mood at the risk of unplanned pregnancy. But this effect might come in handy for women over age 50, who are experiencing menopausal blues.”

SHOPWORK? UGLIES NEED NOT APPLY AUSTRALIA Aussie clothing company General Pants has been accused of ‘lookism’ – hiring only beautiful sales staff.

Much like US firm Abercrombie & Fitch, it seems General Pants has a ‘no uglies’

policy. The company was not available to comment, but could be sued for discrimination if it was established it did hold that policy.

Victoria is the only jurisdiction outside of the US where employees can sue their bosses for discrimination based on appearance. Since the law was introduced in 1995, there have been 1800 lookism inquiries ... by ugly people like him on the right, maybe?

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 1000

Miles a man drove in a minivan around Southern California before finding a terrified kitten hiding in the engine

‘Only Smarties have the answer’

AUSSIES DISCOVER MEANING OF LIFE

30

AUSTRALIA Scientists from the University of Melbourne have found an alternative theory to the Big Bang – the theory of how the universe star formed.

The physicists suggest instead of thinking about a singularity of matter exploding, we should visualise the start of the universe as water freezing into ice.

“Think of the early universe as being like a liquid,” lead researcher James Quach said. “Then as the universe cools, it crystallises into the three-spatial and one-time dimension we see today.

“Theorised this way, as the universe cools, we would expect that cracks should form, similar to the way cracks are formed when water freezes into ice.”

Well, that’s crystal clear then. A crystal buried under 10 feet of mud.

FRANCE TOPS RUDE AIRPORT LIST

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

FRANCE It comes as no surprise, but Paris’s Charles De Daulle has topped the list of the rudest airports in Europe.

It seems France is missing the friendly gene, with its transport board launching a campaign to end the rudeness.

The survey by travel booking website Skyscanner placed Heathrow airport second, blaming rudeness partly on the recent Olympic rush.

“Customers travelling in and out of Heathrow faced quite a few problems

FINAL 1513 World news.indd 47

Amount, in pounds, visitors to Edinburgh Zoo are charged to meet and feed two pandas. Well, they are adorable

25

Per cent increase in enquiries into travelling to Vegas after Prince Harry’s naked antics.

Maybe he’s getting a cut

Cost, in pounds, a mum of two was forced to pay by Ryanair after forgetting to print boarding passes before checking in. Ouch

236

Bed bugs: watch out, they bite during the Olympics with ex-employees being drafted in, many of whom had only completed basic training,” a Skyscanner spokesman said.

Meanwhile the friendliest airport in Europe was Copenhagen, followed by Amsterdam and Stockholm.

Across all airports, check-in staff were rated at the bottom of the list.

DON’T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE...

UNITED STATES Two women have filed a lawsuit against Marriott Hotels for £160k, claiming to have been bitten by bed bugs.

Arizona Pamela April and Char’o Safford said a “significant” bed bug infestation attacked them and their children in a Hickory Ridge Marriott hotel room in August 2011.

April says she woke to find dried blood on her pillowcase, as well as bumps and bites all over her son’s body.

The hotel has now closed.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK Money ey Actor Larry ry Hagman, who o plays JR Ewing in Dallas, when asked what motivated the return of the former TV hit sereis.

At least he’s honest

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: COMMENT: LAURA OLI JONES CHUBB laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com oliver.jones@tntmagazine.com

[Caption] Prince Harry: king of the lads

Las Vegas strip billiards is not amoral, it’s awesome

Photos: Getty

Traditional media woefully misjudges public’s perception of Harry The ‘furore’ over Prince Harry’s Las Vegas nudey billiard snaps seemed a little slow to get going, didn’t it? With the news breaking mid-morning Wednesday, we’d all logged on to TMZ to check out the (very tame) photos before lunchtime, while the papers had to wait until Thursday to throw their weight behind the story, by which time, it was ostensibly over. The Sun’s decision, rightly, to publish the pictures on its front page was less about the undoubted news value of the story and more a vital test of press freedom post-Leveson.

The predictably excoriating editorials that, hilariously, labelled the prince’s behaviour ‘shameful’ and ‘unbecoming’ seemed to run counter to the broad swathe of public opinion whose consensus perspective was more or less: ‘So?’ At the core of the criticism was a false dichotomy; a binary that contests that the statesmanlike image the prince has done well to foster after a plethora of youthful pratfalls – some serious (Nazi uniform, racist language) other less so (toking) – is at odds with having a game of strip billiards in Las Vegas.

That’s simply untrue. The public’s response showed admirable instinctive morality; it’s a testament to the strength of liberalism in this country that we know there is nothing amoral about a game of strip billiards. We remained divinely unscandalised. If there’s anything vaguely peeving about the situation, it’s that Harry’s in a position to do it at a time when, economically, more of us are in a position to do less.

But that’s hardly his fault. It’s the fault of the flag-waving serfs who lined The Mall during the Jubilee, the people who long for the security of subservience to demigods.

Harry is a young, single man, who happens to be a prince. He carries out his state duties with integrity and humility. He is as entitled as any of us to relax on holiday. Oddly, it’s a far more comforting sight than David Cameron’s torturedly awkward holiday snaps. » Agree or disagree? Was Prince Harry out of line? letters@tntmagazine.com

THE MASSACRE OF MINERS IGNORED The British commentariat has made a mistake. While it was festering in a pit of hypocrisy over the disgraceful treatment of Pussy Riot, it missed the week’s most telling news story: the massacre of 34 striking South African miners by police.

It’s understandable columnists felt more comfortable wheeling out their Oxbridge Debating Society free speech diatribes, but the silence was deafening on the altogether more abhorrent events in Marikana.

Why was this? Was it because this country has a long and colourful history of

“

The West still thinks African lives are cheap

”

persecuting striking unions? And indeed shooting unarmed miners – at the behest of this nation’s most lionised prime minister, Winston Churchill, no less?

The short answer is that the lives of people in Africa are still considered cheap by the West. That explains both these deaths and the disgraceful paucity of coverage.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Breaking barriers The Unlimited arts festival is here to change the way we think WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

The Paralympics kick off this week, giving disabled athletes the chance to do Team GB proud as Mo and Jess did during the Olympics. To honour the sporting event, disabled artists from around the world are kicking off their own celebration of achievement in Unlimited, a new festival at the Southbank Centre, that’s set to challenge expectations and prejudices as much as its track and field cousins.

“With the Paralympics in London, Locog and Arts Council England wanted to provide an opportunity for deaf and disabled artists to achieve their personal best,” Unlimited’s head of programming Wendy Martin says. “So they invited artists to submit ideas and to dream the biggest dreams for the art projects they wanted to make.

“As part of the Cultural Olympiad, they commissioned 29 new works with a budget of £4.5m.”

A celebration of disability, arts and culture, Unlimited provides a platform for disabled artists from around the world, and it challenges people’s attitudes through work that “opens doors, changes minds and inspires new collaborations”. Worldwide programmers have been invited by the Arts Council to ensure the work has international life past its London one.

Different disabilities across many art disciplines are represented – deaf, visually impaired, physically disabled – as are the non-disabled, contributing works covering dance, theatre, music and art. “We had a commitment to present the work of as many artists as possible in a programme that has a broad appeal,” Martin explains.

One of the shows she added to Unlimited’s initial commission is Graeae’s Reasons To Be Cheerful, a musical drama that’s toured the UK driven by the greatest hits of the late outspoken disability campaigner Ian Dury and his band Ian Dury And The Blockheads.

Pushing beyond that which has been achieved before has been a key festival component, as illustrated by Sue Austin’s 50

Creating The Spectacle (above), an underwater wheelchair performance, and Claire Cunningham’s 12.

Solo performer Cunningham, choreographed, with the support of disability dance company Candoco, a group theatrical performance that plays with ideas of what supports us in life, often with surreal humour.

“It is a huge leap to go from being a solo performer to choreographing for 12 dancers,” Martin says. “But the project she has created is just phenomenal.”

“

The model is a social one involving all of us

”

Challenging people’s expectations of what disabled art can, and should, be is the cornerstone of much of the work – and Kate O’Reilly’s In Water I Am Weightless is an especially ambitious project. Examining human difference, it’s performed by a cast of deaf and disabled artists but draws on the lives and experiences of disabled people across the UK, with O’Reilly projecting their words across the stage throughout the performance. Incorporating people’s experiences was not unique to this project, though.

“A lot of the performances have embedded this idea of disability into their performances,” Martin says. “O’Reilly’s projections are not just add-ons but they have been seriously considered as part of the show and that has been central to a lot of the work – the artists have thought about making accessibility an aesthetic consideration.”

Another project which tackles head-on people’s expectations is Mat Fraser’s burlesque show. “There’s a strong burlesque movement within disability arts, in which Mat

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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24/8/12 17:55:38

Photos: Alison Baskerville; Racel cherry; Martine Cotton

Clockwise from here: Dean Rodney; Escape From The Factory animation; Reasons To Be Cheerful; Claire Cunningham’s 12

is a key figure,” Martin explains. “We invited him to put together a performance that he called Crip Tease. By taking ownership of language that’s been employed in a particular way in the past, using it by choice, it says ‘this is my show’.”

Physical disabilities aren’t the festival’s sole focus, though, one of the most interesting projects being The Dean Rodney Singers, an interactive multimedia project that’s the brainchild of autistic Londoner Dean Rodney.

A passionate artist and rapper, Rodney, 22, envisaged a world-spanning band of 72 members, disabled and abled alike, and set about bringing this vision to life with the support of music theatre group Heart N Soul.

He travelled the world, meeting prospective collaborators and working on music and videos, the iPad and a cornucopia of apps acting as the creative tool to bring the disparate elements – traditional Chinese music, tribal Brazilian beats, Kraftwerk-esque electro-tunes – together.

Presented through seven fantasy dimensions that help illustrate Rodney’s vision of the world, DRS personifies Unlimited’s scope, ambition and power to challenge. A wholly immersive experience, for those creating it and experiencing it on the South Bank, it breaks down barriers and notions of ‘difference’.

“Disabled people have been fighting for their rights for a long time,” Martin says. “They were seen as a problem for society, the ‘medical’ model of disability, but now the model is very much a social one, that involves all of us.”

While attitudes have moved on from this misguided ‘medical’ model, there’s work still to be done to counter the ignorance about disability. Unlimited’s breadth of talent on show will open eyes, and is a welcome step forwards. It’s our responsibility to become part of this journey, too.

Unlimited at Southbank Centre. Aug 30-Sept 9. Times/ prices vary Waterloo unlimited.southbankcentre.co.uk SE1 8XX

Prosthetic sculpture

CELEBRATING SPARE PARTS AUSSIE ARTIST’S EXHIBITION Unlimited is not the only show in town to be celebrating disabled art. Australian Priscilla Sutton has brought her prosthetics exhibition Spare Parts to London to coincide with the Paralympics, too.

Debuting in 2010 in Brisbane, the show calls on artists across the world to use their prosthetic limbs as the canvas for their works of art. The pieces range from sculptures by Dorset-based artist Charlie Tuesday Gates, including a Dali-esque piece envisaging a below-theknee prosthetic as the base for an erupting head, all influenced by the childhood subconscious, to Australian Erica Gray, a mainstay of the 2010 exhibition, who has designed a new art work for this 2012 collection.

Sutton has been an amputee since 2006, when she decided on surgery to remove a bone condition. Spare Parts aims to celebrate prosthetics, but also to kick start a conversation about what can be achieved with them.

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SPORTNEWS

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BIG DEAL, PLAYERS WANT THEIR CUT RUGBY LEAGUE A new five-year broadcast deal, worth more than £666m, is being hailed as the greatest ever done by NRL. Nine Network and Fox Sports have retained the TV rights to NRL games, with Nine keeping all representative games and three free-to-air NRL matches each weekend. Fox Sports will continue with five games, including Monday night football.

The AU$1.025bn deal is worth $925m in cash, with the balance to be made up in advertising. Under the deal superstars such as Greg Inglis (above) could earn more than £650k a season.

Now though, NRL bosses face another tortuous round of talks with players and clubs over how the spoils should be shared.

“I don’t know too much about figures and how that’s going to get divided up, but as players, we just want to get a fair share,” Wests Tigers skipper Robbie Farah said.

HENRY BACK AT THE BLUES RUGBY UNION World Cup-winning coach Graham Henry just can’t stay away from the game. After a short stint as technical director for Argentina, he’s back as an adviser for the Blues.

Henry forms a powerful team with head coach John Kirwan and All Blacks skills coach Mike Byrne. Their task will be to revitalise the franchise after it suffered a season to forget in this year’s Super 15, finishing in 12th place.

“This does several things,” Henry said. ”It brings me home; it cuts down the travel; and it fulfils the disease I’ve got to still be involved in coaching. This is where I grew up. The Blues are my franchise.”

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It’s a long way down: Japan’s Manami Mitsuboshi goes big in the FIS Freestyle Ski Halfpipe World Cup at Cardrona, New Zealand. Athletes from 24 nations competed, with the US’s Torin Yater-Wallace and Devin Logan taking the big prizes in perfect conditions

MCGUIRE DEFENDS BOLT’S AMBITIONS

BIG WEEK FOR ...

CRICKET

After competing at the Olympics, Oscar Pistorius is the highest-profile of the Paralympians and, as such, big things are expected of him. He’ll carry South Africa’s flag at the opening ceremony, before preparing for the first of his qualifying races in the T44 100m, his showpiece event. This will be the largest Paralympics ever and Pistorius is the star of the show.

Will the all pressure be too much?

Unlikely, as the 25-year-old is an extremely determined individual with something to prove. As he said recently: “I’ve got two disabilities and hundreds of abilities.”

Melbourne Stars president Eddie McGuire has hit back at naysayers who criticise Usain Bolt’s cricket dream.

McGuire said the Stars were having ongoing talks with the sprinter about his potential involvement in this summer’s Big Bash League. Meanwhile, some cricket followers have questioned Bolt’s ability.

“If he comes out to Melbourne, has a bit of fun and is involved in our team, that’s great,” McGuire said. “Usain Bolt has provided as much marketing impetus to the Big Bash League probably only behind Shane Warne.

“It won’t be the worst thing that will ever happen to Australian cricket.”

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Leigh Halfpenny Sprint Session. His way...

This Autumn. Our land. Our way Millennium Stadium

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Gav has had three or four years of fannying around and not being serious about his rugby London Welsh coach Lyn Jones pulls no punches when describing Gavin Henson’s recent playing history. Probably spot on

The sight of an ageing lady chewing gum with bright red lippy on is not acceptable

Cowdrey: focused

PREVIEW Cowdrey swims for greatness PARALYMPICS ALL WEEK. LIVE ON CHANNEL 4 Swimmer Matthew Cowdrey is on mission to become Australia’s most decorated Paralympian in London. The eight-time champion is set to contest up to eight events in his quest to leapfrog compatriot Tim Sullivan, who won 10 gold medals in athletics.

Cowdrey will also attempt to achieve the rare feat of winning the same event at a third straight Games. He won both the 100m freestyle and 200m medley titles in

Athens and Beijing. Watching superstar Michael Phelps defend two of his four individual Olympic titles in London only reinforced to Cowdrey the difficulty of staying on top in the pool.

“You have to be lucky to hit your peak on the first one and then still be on top of your game for your second one and then hold on for your third one,” he said.

Cowdrey is part of a 161-strong Aussie team, which will have plenty of support. A record 2.2 million tickets for the Games have been snapped up, with organisers expecting that to rise to 2.5 million.

THE CHAT | Who will coach the Warriors?

We can always rely on Joey Barton to tackle the big issues via Twitter. Or tackled opposing players on the pitch

An executive made a comment like: ‘It’s all getting messy’ ... this somehow translated into: ‘Get Messi’. An offer was made for £30m. It was rejected Former Man City CEO Gary Cook reveals how the club accidentally bid for Lionel Messi in 2008. True story, apparently

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

CRICKET New Zealand Warriors look to be in all Q The sorts of trouble. What the hell has happened?

Warriors, who finished second in the NRL in 2011, A The have been woeful in 2012. They’ve blown 18-0 leads more than once and lack structure and vision at crucial junctures.

Coach Brian McClennan has been fired and the hunt for a new leader begins. Perhaps Melbourne’s Craig Bellamy (right) will be approached as the club’s owners vow to do ‘whatever it takes’ to create the best sporting franchise in Australasia. Bellamy knows how to get journeymen motivated, how to harness the natural talent that the champion Warriors juniors have in spades and, crucially, how to win titles. He’d be expensive, but create the culture of excellence the Warriors so sorely lack.

England v South Africa England will be out for revenge Tues, 12.30pm. Sky Sports 1

FORMULA ONE Belgian Grand Prix C’mon Aussie Mark Webber Sat, 12.10pm. BBC One

FOOTBALL Liverpool v Arsenal Can the Gooners challenge without RVP? Sun, 1.30pm. Sky Sports 2 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Reeling ’em in Nick Evans continues to star in English rugby WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

When Nick Evans finished the 2011/12 English rugby season, all he wanted to do was go fishing. The Harlequins flyhalf had sure earned his time on the waters of Whitianga, on New Zealand’s Coromandel Peninsula, helping lead his club to a historic Premiership title and being voted the player’s player of the year along the way. In addition, he had racked up 1000 points for Quins, chalked up his 99th cap and played in front of two world-record crowds. It’s an understatement to say the “mad-keen” angler deserved some rest.

“It was nice to go back,” Evans remembers. “The great thing about New Zealand is that it doesn’t change very much, so it just feels comfortable, playing golf with the old man and mum and going fishing.”

But while it may have been snapper, kingfisher and hapuka over the summer, Evans now has bigger fish to fry. A defence of the Premiership begins against London Wasps at Saturday’s Twickenham double-header and the former All Black expects the coming season to be far harder than the last.

“We’re no longer Quins, the team that wins a few big games here and there,” Evans says. “Sides are going to be coming for us and people, the media especially, are going to be expecting us to win most of our games. There’s definitely going to be a bit of pressure in that respect.”

Evans, a 16-Test international, is relishing being part of a competition increasingly showcasing an attractive brand of rugby. The Premiership’s 12 teams are realising that unless the rain is flowing heavily, it’s no longer enough to just kick the ball around, hoping for a penalty.

Such an attitude shift helped the northern hemisphere international teams push their southern counterparts close in June’s Test and the Harlequins superstar says such an improvement begins at club level. “There are more teams now that are trying to play a lot more rugby. Historically, it was Quins, Bath, London Irish, the Tigers, to a point, that tried to play the most rugby, but now teams are seeing they 56

need that flair,” he says. “Every side’s got a good goalkicker these days, so teams are realising they need to score tries.“ The English rugby public are responding; last season, 83,761 people watched Harlequins defeat Saracens at Wembley, just months after 82,000 fans filled Twickenham to watch the same teams do battle at the home of English rugby. It’s an exciting time to follow the competition.

“People are coming because the games are far more exciting now. They’re close, but at the same time players are scoring tries and it’s great to see,” Evans says, still pinching himself at the size of the audiences he performs in front of.

“We got 80,000 for the final – how good’s that? That’s something I never thought would happen when I came over here, I never thought that was even possible. It was just crazy.”

For the 32-year-old, who arrived in England in 2008, frustrated at his misfortune to be stuck behind once-in-alifetime player Dan Carter for the All Blacks number 10 jersey, the Quins experience ranks among his career highlights.

Apart from finally knocking Leicester Tigers, the Manchester United of English rugby, off their perch, he’s relished having a major leadership role at the club, working closely with the Harlequins academy players to ensure a legacy at the club.

“When I came over, the attraction to the club was that they wanted me to be leader, to be a guy to influence these young players, a role model and I’ve really enjoyed it,“ he says.

“They keep me on my toes and I’ve learnt a lot from them as well. I’m a fan of the system here. You’ve got these young guys, straight out of school some of them, who are picked up by the Quins academy and have been integrated straight into training with guys like [England captain] Chris Robshaw.”

Evans also can’t speak highly enough of Robshaw, his club captain, a man who wasn’t involved in the World Cup but less than 12 months later leads his country. The flyhalf even goes as far as drawing comparisons between Robshaw and All Blacks leader Richie McCaw.

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Photos: Getty; Twitter/ Nick Evans

Clockwise: Evans celebrates with the Premiership trophy; nailing another goal; fishing in NZ

“The thing is, like Richie, he does the talking on the field,” Evans says. “He’s been right on the money as soon as he’s been put in that position for England and I think the side has responded to that and they seem to have played for him.

“For us, he’s one of the boys, but he’s one of the senior guys who does what he needs to on the field. Very rarely does he have a bad game. He creates the perfect example of a captain who leads by example and he’s got a good core of senior guys who all help him out.”

With a great squad, goals of excellence and a title to defend, it’s not as if Evans needs any more motivation to perform this year. However, he draws more strength from the realisation he’s in the final year of his latest contract, that this may be his last chance in the multi-colours of Harlequins.

“If it is my last year, I want to finish on a high. Even if it isn’t, I still want to finish on a high. How good would it be to win back-to back titles? That would be amazing for a club that hadn’t won a title for 146 years,” he says.

Should he move on, New Zealand would not be an option, Evans saying a return home would be a backward step. He is 32, and the All Blacks would be a bridge too far, although only in the southern hemisphere would a player of his calibre struggle to make the national squad. He does, however, view the next move as crucial.

“I’ll do my research. If it’s not Quins, it could be Japan, France or elsewhere in Europe,” he says. “I’ll be pretty sure to pick the right place. I still want to play good rugby, I don’t want to be a guy that just cashes the cheque, so I have to make sure I go to a place where I’m going to be of use.”

Such an attitude will go a long way towards more success this season and beyond, wherever the game takes him. Evans may be the fisherman, but upon hearing his goals for the future, the CEOs of rugby clubs worldwide will be baiting their hooks in anticipation of landing what would surely rank among the catches of their lives.

DOUBLE THE FUN PREMIERSHIP KICKS OFF As Harlequins line up to begin their title defence this Saturday, the other London clubs will be plotting how to stop them. Wasps are first up at the weekend’s Twickenham double header. They’ve been bolstered by the arrival of 110-Test veteran Stephen Jones, of Wales.

His battle with Nick Evans will be one to watch.

In the day’s other game, London Irish, who finished seventh last season, will put in a big effort against Saracens. They’ve lost a lot of experienced players, but Irish international halfback Tomas O’Leary will look to spur his forwards on against a very physical opposition.

For Saracens, keep an eye on young England flyhalf Owen Farrell (above) and the extremely mobile Saffa hooker Schalk Brits. It’s going to be a great battle.

For a chance to win tickets for you and five mates, see page 26.

To buy tickets, call 0844 847 2492 or ticketmaster.co.uk

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TNT puts the world to rights

SPORTVIEW

COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

Doper? Armstrong

Armstrong giving up fight is a bad day for sport

Photos: Getty

Cycling joins the list of sports we can never fully enjoy again

So Lance Armstrong goes down as a drug cheat. The American will now forever be referred to as a doper, his records “obliterated”, according to the US AntiDoping Agency (USADA). It’s a sad end for the man once considered the greatest cyclist of all time. But while Armstrong haters worldwide will rejoice in the Texan’s downfall – having convinced themselves for years that no man is possible of winning the Tour de France seven times after beating testicular cancer – the real sadness comes from the damage cycling continues to suffer.

The Tour de France is forever tainted, with cycling to be always viewed suspiciously in the future. There’ll be those who now cast snide aspersions on Bradley Wiggins and on whichever future riders manage to break from the pelaton in their pursuit of excellence.

It took years and the emergence of cleanskin Usain Bolt (please, please, please) to put athletics back on track after the drug abuses firstly, by Ben Johnson, then by many others, including Dwayne Chambers and Justin Gatlin. Boxing, too, with its corruption, its bout fixing and its many different belts has suffered a similar fate – and let’s not forget the match- and spot-fixing that mean we often take upset wins in cricket with a grain of salt.

USADA did cycling no favours by making the announcement that Armstrong had given up his appeal, thereby making an admission of guilt (although he steadfastly maintains his innocence) without laying all the evidence on the table for the sporting public to pick through. As a result, the hearsay and conspiracy theories continued to flourish.

If Armstrong really is guilty, it’s a horrible end to what many perceived as a glittering career of a champion genetically blessed with an extraordinary cardio-vascular system.

If innocent, it’s terrible that a man who has fought to overcome cancer, fought his way through the French Alps, feels he can fight no more. Whichever way you look at it, sport was the loser on the day – and that’s the saddest thing of all. » Are you convinced Armstrong is a drug cheat? letters@tntmagazine.com

TRANSFERS: KEEP IT CLEAN, GUYS Tottenham manager Andre Villas Boas’s revelations that plans are afoot to shut the transfer window on the first day of the season are perhaps the most sensible footballing words we’re likely to hear all year.

Players should only play for one team a campaign. Imagine if Chelsea-bound Victor Moses had scored a winner for Wigan against the Blues on opening day. Now imagine if the points Chelsea dropped cost them a Champions League spot, or even the title. (Most football fans would laugh at such a misfortune befalling Chelsea, but imagine if it was your team).

“

Imagine if Moses had scored a winner

Australia’s AFL have recently instituted massive fines for clubs who sign a deal with players outside a ‘free agency window’ at the end of each season. With the money involved in football, a slightly larger window would be needed, but such a policy would avoid any murky situations and make the competition cleaner for all involved.

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

SAY A PRAYER Pakistani Muslims offer the final Friday prayers of the holy month of Ramadan at the Dada Darbar mosque in Lahore.

The prayers prefix Eid al-Fitr, a festival that marks the end of fasting.

Photos: Getty, theneedles.co.uk, Dan Imhoff/ TNT, Tranquilo Bay

INSIDE

TURN BACK TIME /64

BASQUE IN GLORY /76

RUGGED AND RAW /82

We find that the Isle of Wight, a county of England set off the southern coast, is an (old) world apart ...

Foodie heaven San Sebastian is among Europe’s most beautiful cities. We give you the lowdown on how to make the most of it.

Take extreme kayaking, untouched paradise islands and a 4x4 death drive up a volcano, and what do you get? Welcome to Panama.

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR

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Let me at the bargains! Prepare to fight for a deal at Largs’ Viking car boot sale

TRAIN SHAME Richard Branson swears his new London to Manchester flight route has nothing to do with taking on the trains (see P63). But the fact that in some cases it can be cheaper to catch a plane than a train to get across Britain is a damning demonstration of just how gallingly disproportionate the cost of train travel on this island has become.

LARGS VIKING FESTIVAL Largs, Scotland History comes alive for one week in Largs every year with this festival, which celebrates a Scottish victory over the Vikings in 1263. You’re 1-9 invited into a reconstruction of a 13th-century Viking village, populated by fancy dress enthusiasts, where you’ll see staged skirmishes, replica Viking ships and, somewhat incongruously, an aerobatic show. Weird.

SEP

WHY: To celebrate Scottish prowess in the face of the Vikings, as shown at the Battle of Largs, which ended with Norway ceding all claim to the Western Isles. Go Scots!

A re-enactment of the famous battle is scheduled for the last day and will climax with a massive fireworks display.

BURNING MAN Nevada, US

largsvikingfestival.com

MANCHESTER FOOD AND DRINK FESTIVAL Manchester, England

This year’s Black Rock City – a community of theme 3 camps dedicated to art and self-expression in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert – has an overall theme of ‘Fertility 2.0’. The freaky fest, which usually features a healthy dose of noclothes action, has hosted camps with names including ‘Fuck Club Pleasure Dome’, ‘Naked Hipsters’ and ‘Genital Portrait Studio’ in the past. Hopefully that about sums it up for novices.

UNTIL SEP

burningman.com

WINE FESTIVAL Budapest, Hungary SEP

12-16

Folk music, arts and vino in what promises to be a semirefined ode to the booze.

visitbudapest.travel

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DO IT BECAUSE: It’s easier to get to than Up Helly Aa in the Shetland Islands, the Viking fire festival that lights up in January.

Plus it’s probably the only time you can claim to have been to a Viking car boot sale, which appears in this year’s programme.

Head to the capital of the North for an orgy of food 21 and bevvies from around the globe, including airstreams and tuk-tuks dishing up the world’s best street food, craft beers, specialty whiskies, indie cheese and wines and a miniOktoberfest. We like.

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BESTIVAL

Isle of Wight, England Fast gaining a reputation as Britain’s best music fest, this 6-9 year’s stellar line-up includes New Order, Sigur Ros, Friendly Fires, Roots Manuva and more. The Boutique Campsite area offers tipis and yurts.

SEP

2012.bestival.net

Photos: Getty

A recent study by the Daily Telegraph found of all the journeys in Britain that can be taken by plane and train, it was cheaper to fly on half of them. What possible justification can there be for this?

Why, as the Telegraph’s research showed, should it cost an average of £63 to fly from London to Edinburgh in an hour-and-a-half, but £121 to take the train and suffer numb bum from spending four-anda-half hours in your seat?

No doubt we’ve all had that choke-on-your-latte moment when surfing nationalrail.co.uk. At Easter, I hoped to reach the northern wastelands of Hull (defence: a family do), but couldn’t find a train ticket for less than £100 return.

Meanwhile, easyJet will fly you off to a summer holiday in Nice for half that price. Could the coach be an alternative? Seeing as it takes six-hours-plus to breach the border of the Midlands, a weekend break means turning back for the return journey the moment you arrive.

The only reason I could accept the excessive prices would be if train travel in Britain was outstanding.

Should carriages decked out in La-Z-Boys pull up at the platform and whisk me to Edinburgh while champagne and canapés are passed round, £121 might seem reasonable.

But the closest you’ll get to this is a broken chair you can’t help but recline in and a swig from the neighbouring hen party’s stash of Stella.

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PLANE OR TRAIN?

Photos: Getty

Virgin has responded to the loss of its West Coast train franchise by launching daily flights from London to Manchester for £95 return, which could feasibly be cheaper than taking the train. A new study by the Daily Telegraph found of 24 journeys in Britain that can be taken by train and plane, it was cheaper to fly on 13 of them. Virgin’s new flight route pits the airline against British Airways, which charges about £97 for the same service.

Virgin said it had introduced the flights to prevent BA from claiming a monopoly after its parent company took over BMI, rather than it being an attempt to compete with the trains.

Bring it on: has this clever Dick outsmarted the train companies?

AIR FRANCE FARCE

TRAVEL-SIZED SCAM

Air France passengers were forced to chip in funds to refuel after their plane made an emergency landing in Syria, the airline has confirmed. The flight bound for Beirut was diverted to Damascus to avoid violent demonstrations near the airport in Lebanon’s capital. But owing to financial sanctions imposed on Syria by the West, crew could not use the Air France company credit card to buy more fuel. A whip-round raised £11,000, but in the end an agreement was reached with the airport that meant passengers didn’t have to part with their cash after all.

Travel-sized toiletries might seem like a good idea – especially in light of liquid restrictions on planes – but consumers are being charged a whopping 750 per cent more per millilitre for the convenience. A new study from travelsupermarket.com found smaller bottles cost significantly more than their normal-sized equivalents. A 150ml can of Dove anti-perspirant, for example, costs £1 in high street shops, but a 35ml version of the same product costs £1.99 in airport stores. Travellers intent on not checking luggage should just buy their toiletries once at their holiday destination, we reckon.

DON’T BOTHER BUDDHA Three French tourists were put on trial in Sri Lanka after being pictured pretending to kiss a Buddha statue. The two women and one man pleaded guilty to the crime of desecrating a Buddhist shrine in Kandy and have been handed suspended jail terms with hard labour, plus a small fine. The trio were reported to police by the photo lab that printed the offending photos. Sri Lanka’s laws around mistreatment of Buddha images are notoriously strict; R&B singer Akon was once refused a visa thanks to a music video in which half-naked ladies danced around a statue of the jolly guy.

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Isle of Wight icon: The Needles rock formation at Alum Bay

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Isle of Wight ENGLAND

ENGLAND

COWES

ISLE OF WIGHT

VENTNOR

GETTING THERE Return tickets from London Waterloo to Southampton Central start at £39.40 with South West Trains southwesttrains.co.uk Vehicle ferries and Red Jet Hi-Speed foot passenger services between Southampton and Cowes from £8.30 one-way redfunnel.co.uk

The Hambrough has given Ventnor a reputation as a foodie destination after earning a Michelin star. Serving up affordable fine dining (£60 for six sublime courses) in a relaxed seafront setting. robert-thompson.com Head to The Garlic Farm for an education in all things garlic and a changing seasonal menu. Round off the likes of fried chicken wings and garlic pickle with raspberry and garlic ice cream (surprisingly good). Mains from £8.95. thegarlicfarm.co.uk The Mill Bay Inn on the esplanade at Ventnor is a friendly local with sea views from every seat. Pints from £3.20. millbayventnor.co.uk Thatched pub on the beach Fisherman’s Cottage in Shanklin has a range of ales and great homecooked food. Pints from £3.20. shanklinchine.co.uk You can end an orgy of gourmet goodness at The Hambrough by flopping down in one of its luxury suites, set in a three-storey Victorian villa.

Comfy, contemporary design and a balcony overlooking the Channel make these rooms the stuff of ‘my apartment when I’m grown up’ fantasy. From £150pn, with the best English breakfast ever included. robert-thompson.com

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UKTRIP

Turn back time A county of England set off the southern coast, the Isle of Wight is an (old) world apart ...

Photos: Britainonview.com, theneedles.co.uk, Laura Chubb / TNT

WORDS LAURA CHUBB

“I heard there used to be a sign on the Isle of Wight ferry that read, ‘Set your watch back 30 years’,” Tom, a recent London escapee, tells me. We’re discussing his move from a PR career in the Big Smoke to building up a farm business in this southern county of England, five miles off the Hampshire coast. The Isle of Wight has long enjoyed the languorous pace typical of ‘island life’, and for Tom, a thirtysomething from the city, it’s taking some getting used to.

I’d assumed that the island’s growing vogue – thanks in large part to September’s Bestival festival, quietly usurping Glasto in the cool stakes since it launched in 2004 – had injected some vigour. But shortly after meeting the Isle’s new recruit, I’m staring at a bus stop that tells me the last service of the day left at 1.45pm. It’s a Saturday. And I’m stranded.

The island, measuring 23 miles across and 13 miles from north to south, has often been described as ‘England in miniature’. The landscape manages to incorporate as many quintessentially English emblems as it can – pretty pastures, country lanes, rambling woodland, chalk-white cliffs. You’d think the compact size would make this Isle quick to traverse.

But it takes me two hours to get from the middle of the island back to my base, Ventnor, in the southeast, first walking an hour to the nearest town, then flagging down a bus that has the courtesy to keep running into the evening.

This is as much a blessing as a curse. Though diminutive, the island has 500 miles of footpaths, including a 67-mile coastal trail, 200 cycle routes, and hundreds of miles of bridleways.

This vast network is the product of past farmers and labourers, who carved paths as and when they needed them.

On arrival, having taken the high-speed ferry from Southampton to Cowes, I’m greeted by painted pink seaside homes and more sailboats than I can count bobbing on The Solent, the strait that separates the Isle from the mainland.

Absorbing the sight, I can’t quite believe I was among the surging crowds at Waterloo only three hours ago.

There’s no tourist office or so much as a map at the ferry terminal, but I talk to a few friendly folks and find my way to Ventnor via a couple of buses. Once the place to holiday for fashionable Victorians, this hilltop town has the good fortune of experiencing a microclimate, supplying more sunshine and warmer temperatures than the rest of England.

After a few hours hiking the coastal route that leads

from Ventnor’s sandy beach up on to off-white cliffs – via a root-gnarled path through woods and the distractions of rope swings hanging from tree branches – the island’s public transport system intervenes again that afternoon. The staff at my hotel and I wrinkle our foreheads over a map for half an hour before I give in and order a taxi to the Garlic Farm.

The pungent bulb grows wild on the island and is so good, it’s even sold to the French. Unabashedly ga-ga for garlic, the folks on the farm insert the ingredient into everything from beer to fudge (handily, there’s a café here at which you can taste the results). On my visit, I sample black garlic (sweet like

“

Set your watch back 30 years on the island

”

molasses), learn the bulb was used as an antiseptic in the First World War, and hear how founder Colin travelled deep into Kazakhstan’s mountains to seek out ‘the mother of all garlic’.

Yep, these guys are serious.

On my final morning, I head out into the Channel for a spot of mackerel fishing. The Isle is great for seafood and, while there are bass, conger, pouting and rockling to be caught off Ventnor, I’m a novice and mackerel are the easiest to reel in (my teacher, Lucy, explains they’re “not too bright”).

Unfortunately for the mackerel, this turns out to be true. I’m not even using a rod, but hook a total of seven on my hand line within about 40 minutes. I suspect this has little to do with any skill, but feel a bit proud anyway.

At the end of a couple of days, I’m left with the impression I’ve barely scratched the surface of this tiny island. But if I’m ever to explore it further, I reckon I’ll hire a car. ❚

NEXT WEEK

Mackerel fishing from £15pp (for 1hr 15mins) at Ventnor. oceanbluequay.co.uk

Sweaty in Scotland: Biking and kayaking around Fort William

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DUBAI Three nights in Dubai is £489pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes B&B accommodation at the five-star Movenpick Ibn Battuta Gate and flights from London Heathrow. Book

by September 6, valid for travel between August 30 and September 10.

TURKEY A nine-day Essential Turkey Xmas tour is £299pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (00208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes accommodation, some meals, guide and more. Excludes flights, excludes local payment. Book by August 31; departs December 18.

MOROCCO A three-night trip to Marrakech is £475pp with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 2271038. Includes four-star accommodation at the El Andalous Hotel and flights. Book by August 31; valid for travel throughout September 2012.

> £500 SPAIN & PORTUGAL A 10-day tour is now £629pp (save 30 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Visiting Madrid, Grenada, Seville, Lagos, Lisbon and more. Includes hotels, nine breakfasts and guides.

Excludes flights and local payment.

Book by August 31; departs Sep 29.

SHARM EL SHEIKH A sevennight trip is £815pp (save £90pp) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 1241058. Includes B&B accommodation at the four-star Sunrise Tirana Aqua Park and flights from London Gatwick. Book by August 31; valid for travel throughout Sep 2012.

VIETNAM A 10-day tour is £824pp with On The Go Tours (020 73711113; onthegotours.com).

Includes four-star accommodation, junk boat trip, guides and more. Excludes international flights. Departs Sep 15.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

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OKTOBERFEST A three-night camping package to Oktoberfest in Munich is £99pp with PP Travel (020 79309999; pptravel.com).

Includes transfers to the fest, daily breakfast and tours to Dachau and Andechs. Valid for any three days during the world’s biggest beerfest, which runs from September 22 to October 7.

EGYPT A nine-day Essential Egypt Xmas & New Year tour is now £194pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Visiting Cairo, Giza, Pyramids, Sphinx, Aswan, Komombo Temple, Edfu Temple and more. Includes four- and five-star accommodation, some meals, guides and more. Excludes flights, excludes local payment. Book by August 31; departs December 18 and 24.

BUDAPEST Two nights in Budapest is £98pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; holidays.easyjet.com). Includes B&B accommodation at the three-star Thomas Hotel and flights from London Luton. Departs September 27.

EUROPE A Hop on/Hop off pass from Paris to Rome is £239.50pp (24-1) with Busabout (08450 267576; busabout.com). Includes an everysecond-day service from May to October, the choice to stay as long as you like in each destination, guides, and more.

Excludes flights. Departs anytime.

£250 – £500

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The Apparthotel Veronika is just two minutes from town and in-between green fields in the summer and cross country skiing tracks in the winter.

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Luxurious and traditional style are combined in this small and excellent 4 star hotel. Tastefully yet comfortably furnished and you can relax and enjoy yourself at this charming place in the Alps.

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Transport Transport serves as a means for us to get from A to B, but remember: keep your camera handy as there are plenty of shots to be had en route. You don’t even need to travel abroad as your local waterway, airport, train and bus station can be perfect for a bit of train spotting or excellent people watching. To increase your

chances of getting a decent shot, turn on your auto focus and try to shoot fast-moving objects using a continuous-shooting mode. This approach will leave you more time to concentrate on getting the best composition and angle for your photo. Observe the scene around you for those fleeting, but highly rewarding, opportunities.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER BAJAU WATER WAYS Garyth Turner, South Africa

WHY IT WORKS The wooden sailing vessel, overloaded with people and groceries, travels along the waterway, leaving behind a stream of ripples.

The sea nomads of Bajau spend their lives on the water. The boat has been shot in a horizontal position, causing the rest of the scene to be composed at an unusual tilt. The world has rotated to fit with the trajectory of the canoe in a topsy-turvy lifestyle.

RUNNER-UP CYCLING IN THE DRY MANGROVE Toh Eng Chye, Malaysia

WHY IT WORKS A local man in Tanjung Sepat, Malaysia, cycles through the grey sands and twisted remains of what was once a vibrant mangrove swamp. The gnarled trunks rise out of the flat ground, looking out of place; it’s as though human hands have placed them in their current positions. If it wasn’t for the casual cyclist, the scene could be that of a harsh salt desert or the remains of a natural disaster.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

1

HOOK-UP HOLIDAYS

@tntmagazine

SPRING FLING SINGLES CRUISE, CARIBBEAN

Revved up for a holiday romance? We reckon single girls and guys deserve options, which is why our number-one choice for a hook-up holiday involves hundreds of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes aboard a city-sized ship cruising around the Caribbean.

Leaving from the US’s party capital of Miami, Best Single Travel’s Eastern Caribbean Cruise cuts through the crystal-clear waters of the Caribbean Sea to drop anchor at fantasy islands St Thomas, Antigua, Tortola and the Bahamas. Basically, it’s eight nights of pure holiday heaven – with heaps of available hotties included to ensure temperatures are soaring all day and all night.

Keeping the party pumping on the Carnival Breeze are regular singles cocktail parties (the cocktails are free, bonus) and single-mingle dining. There are onboard clubs, too, spinning tunes late into the night, every night, so you can bump‘n’grind to your heart’s (or other body parts’) content.

Guests will also get wet and wild on swimming and snorkeling trips, and hit 70 00

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the Caribbean’s hottest clubs while on dry land. Best Single Travel also offers a roommate matching service so you have a friend ready and waiting in your cabin – though we assume your roomie is intended as a wingman/ woman and not a love interest (just imagine if you didn’t fancy them, that would be dire).

There are also nightly Las Vegas-style shows, stand-up gigs and lavish buffets to keep you in the holiday mood.

These might also come in handy if you need cheering up or feel compelled to comfort eat when you see last night’s hook-up hitting on some fresh meat over breakfast the next morning.

Just saying.

One word of warning – all ages are welcome on this sexy spring fling voyage. While we hope this doesn’t mean you’ll have to bat away the advances of a dirty old man/ woman while at sea and, therefore, unable to escape, we cannot guarantee it.

All-inclusive rooms for this eight-day trip start at £637pp.

At what price love, eh? bestsingletravel.com

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

2

COPACABANA, COSTA RICA

If you like swinging and surfing, this adult-only resort on Jaco Beach in Costa Rica is for you. It might be for couples, but these are couples of an open-minded calibre – which means hook-ups are firmly on the agenda.

You can view the merchandise in the resort’s ‘clothing optional’ areas and, if you like what you see, take it to the adult Play Room (hint: jungle gym not a feature). Add in nude watersports and you’re in for one hell of a holiday.

Photos: Thinkstock, bestsingletravel.com, copacabanadesirehotel.com, totalsatisfactionadultholidays.co.uk, aegeanfobcruises.gr

copacabanadesirehotel.com; from £140pn

4

FRIENDS ON BOARD, AEGEAN SEA

If you don’t fancy trying to pick a mate from the masses on a city-sized cruise liner, try a seven-night sailing trip around the Aegean Islands on a smaller, more intimate boat for adults only.

While not specifically designed for singles, Friends on Board bills itself as a “young, dynamic company” and runs a roommate programme allowing travellers to meet online and select a cabin mate ahead of the trip.

Stopping off at the likes of Mykonos and Santorini, it’ll be a party. aegeanfobcruises.gr; seven nights £230pp

3

SEX VACATION, DOMINICAN REP.

Here’s one way to ensure you hook up: take an ‘erotic sex vacation with the company of stunning ladies’. This package includes a private hotel stay and a ‘sexy escort’ 24 hours a day, though the resort is at pains to insist it is not a brothel.

So what can you expect at this not-a-brothel? Well, it’s recommended that you bring double the amount of condoms you think you’ll need, and you can choose a different escort each day of your stay. It’s not a brothel though, OK? totalsatisfactionadultholidays.co.uk; from £1000

5

HANGOUTONHOLIDAY.COM

An instrument of the hook-up as opposed to a saucy break in itself, hangoutonholiday.com facilitates successful hook-up holidays by putting you in touch with people who are travelling to the same place as you at the same time.

“Ever met someone you really liked on the last day of your holiday?” the website asks. “How about finding them before you go?” And therein lies the genius. Vet the likely hook-ups before you book your ticket, thereby as good as guaranteeing your holiday romance.

IBIZA ROCKS OVERVIEW You can’t get much closer to the action than this party hotel, smack-bang in the middle of Sant Antoni, Ibiza. Its poolside is the venue of the Ibiza Rocks Gigs, which end on September 19. There are daily pool parties, silent raves, an Xbox room and two bars from where you can sink cocktails in the sun. If you want a peaceful break away from it all, this is definitely not the place to come.

WOW FACTOR The Ibiza Rocks parties – when you book to stay here, you’ll get gig tickets as well as passes to the official Ibiza Rocks after party at superclub Es Paradis.

ROOMS This isn’t a five-class hotel, so expect your room to be a dumping ground for your gear, or a place to bring new-found friends. Our onebedroom apartment is basic – bathroom, twin beds, tiny kitchenette – and, oddly, has sticky jam on the floor and walls, but it also has a balcony overlooking the main stage area, so you can check out the party while getting ready to go out.

BILL PLEASE Rooms from about £100pp for five nights, based on three sharing.

ibizarocks.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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Edinburgh Castle: one of many must-sees in the Scottish capital

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AIRPORT LOUNGE VOUCHERS WORTH £60

If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free Wi-Fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

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YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

like to visit the island of Pag in Q I’d Croatia next summer as I’ve heard there’s a great party scene. Is it easy to get to and find somewhere to stay?

Paul, via email

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suggest what we should do to make the most of the city? Neil, via email your day early on Saturday in the Old A Start Town district. Grab breakfast at Edinburgh’s Saturday Farmers’ Market in the centre of the city. Next, head to the weekend’s absolute mustsee, Edinburgh Castle. It’s a pretty pricey entry fee (£16 per adult), so only shell out if you have time to explore the wealth of historical rooms.

Then take a stroll down the city’s main historical street, The Royal Mile. Lined with souvenir shops, bagpipe players and pubs, this is touristy Scotland at its best. Other interesting attractions in the Old Town include Real Mary King’s Close, a spooky medieval underground street hidden beneath the old town and the Scotch Whisky Experience, which is a tour (in a whisky barrel shaped carriage) through a replica distillery.

Plan your evening around the lively bars of Rose Street. Try The Abbotsford, a popular bar that has managed to retain its Edwardian splendour. Afterwards, head to nearby Queen Street to dance the night away at Jools Holland’s Jam House.

On Sunday, get rid of the hangover with a hike up to Arthur’s Seat, the remains of a longextinct volcano which presides over the city. The view from the summit is fantastic and you can reward yourself with lunch in the picturesque Duddingston Village at the base of Arthur’s Seat, which is one of the oldest parts of the city.

PICK YOUR PINTXOS Don’t just eat the pintxos from the bar, where they’ve been sitting out for ages. Order off the menu behind the bar where they make it fresh for you.

My favourite was the beef cheek served in a tomato-based sauce: melt-in-yourmouth good. Also, if you’re fit enough, swim out to the island of Santa Clara along with the locals.

Jillian Worrall, via email PATATAS AT THE PORT My top pick for pintxos would be La Mejillonera near the port. They have amazing mussels in different varieties and they’re famous for their patatas bravas. It’s always crowded but it’s worth elbowing your way to the front– and it’s cheap, too!

Emma Bell, via Facebook

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

party island of Pag is incredibly popular A The in the summer months. The action is centred around the beach at Zr e on the northern half of the island, where international DJs play at clubs right on the sand. The season runs from late June to mid-September and you can expect to pay up to £30 entry at the main clubs, such as Aquarius, Calypso and Papaya. If you plan your visit for the end of June you can catch Hideout music festival, also taking place on Zr e’s beach. The beach is great for swimming and watersports, too.

Accommodation is mainly found in Novalja, just a couple of miles from Zr e beach. Novalja is a decent-sized town with all of the amenities you would need, including an internet café and cash machines. There is lots of information on the tourist authority’s website, tz-novalja.hr.

There is a range of accommodation here. Hotel Loža is right on the seafront and rooms start at around £20 per night. I’d recommend booking your accommodation in advance.

The island itself, which sits an hour north of Zadar, is easy to reach as it’s connected to the mainland with a bridge. Bus services operate to the major cities of Zagreb, Zadar and Split (antoniotours.hr). You can fly to Zadar (the nearest airport) with Ryanair from Stansted or Croatia Airlines from Gatwick.

planning a weekend break for me Q I’m and my mates in Edinburgh. Can you

READERS’ TIPS ON ... SAN SEBASTIAN

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Aralar

TOP

Aizkorri-Aratz

DONOSTIA SAN SEBASTIÁN

CES EXPERIEN Ordizia

TOLOSA 15’

ORDIZIA BEASAIN 25’

Tolosa

GOIERRI TOLOSALDEA

Discover the Heart of the Basque Country Its Tourist Offices, Visitors’ Centres and Museums organise guided tours, workshops, day trips...

What’s more, there is a wide array of fine restaurants and places to stay that will receive you with open arms.

www.goierriturismo.net www.tolosaldea.net

OFFICE OF TOURISM Sta Maria 24 20240 ORDIZIA 943 88 22 90 turismo@ordizia.org www.goierriturismo.com

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OFFICE OF TOURISM Andre Mari plaza 1 20400 TOLOSA 943 69 74 13 tour@tolosaldea.net www.tolosaldea.net

24/8/12 17:15:04

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

ST PETER’S BASILICA, VATICAN CITY Emma Tromp, from South Africa

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

MUIREANN BRENNAN, 18

CHRIS DYE, 25

Carlow, Ireland

London, England

BEST Interrailing around Europe a few years ago. It’s so easy to travel on the trains. I loved moving from place to place, city to city. I saw Berlin, London, Amsterdam and Venice all in the same trip. I took a lot of walking tours, which is a brilliant way to get to know a place.

Most memorable travel experience?

Chiang Mai in Thailand. I was supposed to be there for about a week and ended up staying for a month. I didn’t do a lot, really. I just hired a moped and bummed about.

Worst travel experience?

I’ve had some shockers. Bed bugs in Malaysia was pretty gross. Thing is, with hostels, you get what you pay for. If you pay the equivalent of 50p a night, you get a dump.

Top travel tip?

Don’t visit Arizona in summer. An error.

WORST When I came to London, I stayed in a six-bed dorm in a hostel. It was just awful. I spent six nights in a room with absolutely no personal space. » Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

Photos: TNT, Thinkstock

SPLASHING OUT

YOGA IN KENYA Stay at Kinondo Kwetu resort on Kenya’s south coast for health and wellbeing at the hands of its Swedish owners.

A seven-night yoga retreat at Kinondo Kwetu is US $3050pp (about £1932). Includes daily yoga classes, half-day safari, all food and drink (except champagne), a PADI diving lesson and more. From November 17-25. kinondo-kwetu.com

THE INSIDER

VIVIENNE HUDSONFINDLAY, Managing director Great Little Breaks

My first ever big trip was a cruise to Russia, Sweden and Denmark organised by my school. It was fascinating for a bunch of 14-year-olds who had never been away from home before. The trip made me realise just how exciting travel could be.

My most challenging travel experience was Kilimanjaro.

It was a week of very little sleep and extremely challenging conditions – not something I would like to repeat. I still struggle to believe I was talked into it!

My favourite place in the world is the Caribbean, the Seychelles and Namibia.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is my next holiday: sailing around the British Virgin Islands, followed by complete relaxation for a week on Biras Creek. I cannot wait.

My guilty travel pleasure is champagne at the airport to start a holiday, whenever possible.

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Bay of Biscay: pay a visit to Europe’s best city beach, La Concha FRANCE

San Sebastian

San Sebastian

SPAIN MADRID

GETTING THERE Return flights from London Heathrow to San Sebastian Fuenteraba, via Madrid, start at £243 with Iberia. iberia.com/gb

SPAIN

Donostia is made for romance. Left, top to bottom: surf the legendary Zurriola beach; hit Parte Vieja for the after-party 76

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Basque in the glory Foodie heaven San Sebastian is among Europe’s most beautiful cities. We give you the lowdown on how to make the most of it WORDS LAURA CHUBB

There are three things that San Sebastian can reasonably claim to do better than most of Europe: surf, food and beaches. This jewel of the Basque country, named Donostia in the native tongue, might be home to the proud Catalans – as fiercely passionate about fine food as their separateness from (and superiority to) Spain – but San Sebastian’s ego is borne of a perfectly accurate mirror. From the continent’s very best city beach on the Bay of Biscay, to the own-brand tapas (pintxos, pronounced ‘pinchos’) that line every bar in town and rival the most haute of cuisine, this northern Spanish beauty has most definitely got it.

As a result, the small city can require a big budget – hotel rooms are in demand and the myriad Michelin fare on offer rarely comes cheap. But it is possible to indulge in the decadent Donostia’s riches without having to part with too much of your own. First, book early and off-season – or bring a tent. Second, read on for our guide to a San Sebastian that will suit every taste and leave every bank account balanced.

Best for: surfers San Sebastian’s beaches border on the comically picturesque.

La Concha is widely referred to as Europe’s best city beach, a golden crescent of gorgeousness smack-bang in the centre of town. As well as swimming and sunbathing in the shade of historical buildings and churches, with the green peaks of the Pyrenees spreading Francewards in the background (San Sebastian is just 20km from the French border), there is some gentle surf to be had.

For more serious surfers, Zurriola beach is the stuff of legend. A mere hop and a skip from La Concha (you just have to cross over a bridge), the consistent beach break has good peaks and serves up a lefthander at low tide. The surf school/ surf camp trade is strong here, so if you’re averse to crowds and prefer not to share waves with the odd novice, avoid.

But if a beach break with long sunny days, great views, fast friends and decent surf do it for you, San Sebastian sure is where it’s at.

TOP TIP: Stoke Travel runs a surf camp in San Sebastian that offers surf lessons, 24-hour board hire, camping and all meals for less than £40 a day. Add on about £4 a day for unlimited beer and sangria. Happy holidays! stoketravel.com

Best for: hedonists Looking to party? Head into the Parte Vieja, San Sebastian’s characterful old town, which is said to boast more bars than any other neighbourhood in the world. Lively little lanes packed with people grazing on pintxos and chugging the region’s best beverages are equal parts romantically charming and let’s-get-on-the-lash buzzing. In typical Spanish style, the nightlife doesn’t really get going until the wee hours, so you shouldn’t hit up your first bar any earlier than 10pm.

Local specialties to look out for are txakoli – a slightly sparkling, pale-green wine best glugged with pintxos – and kalimotxo, a rather odd premise that combines red wine and a cola-based soft drink (hence the reason some call it ‘cocavino’). It might seem a bit wrong – hell, it’s a lot wrong – but when in Rome and all that. Locally made cider, or sidria, is popular, too.

TOP TIP: If you’re intent on getting horribly smashed, it’s a local custom to add a shot of Ouzo to your cocavino.

It sounds suspiciously akin to pouring sambuca in your ››

Pintxoself, you’re not dreaming

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snakebite and black down the student union to us.

But you’re in the ultra-refined Basque country, so it must be alright.

TOP EURO FOOD GREAT BREAKS FOR GLUTTONS

Best for: gourmands San Sebastian is hog heaven if you’re fussy about food.

Though the city is famous for its galaxy of Michelin stars – Arzak, for example, with its three sparklers, has retained its place in the top 10 world’s best restaurants for almost a decade – you can eat top-notch tucker for a fraction of the price at any average-looking bar in San Seb. Just plough into the scrum at la barra (the bar), where an assortment of pintxos are laid out, and stack them up in a sort of Spanish gastronome’s version of Yo! Sushi. Some places have their pintxos chalked up on a board, but you can safely play Lucky Dip, because whatever gets served up will be sublime enough to make an alpha male weep.

There are chorizos, cheeses, melt-in-the-mouth-hams, juicy peppers, wild mushrooms, caviar, crusty bread. Look out for a specialty, tiger mussels, which come drenched in olive oil, chili and bechamel sauce.

The best ploy is to embark on a pintxo crawl – so hit up a number of bars and order a dish and a drink at every stop.

This way you can try an array of dishes at varying prices.

TOP TIP: Pintxos generally cost about €3 (about £2) each, but it’s easy to get carried away and let the bill mount up. Decide how much you’re happy on spending before you start, and only take that much cash with you. The temptation to blow the budget will be too great otherwise – trust us.

Best for: couples

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San Sebastian isn’t the only city with a gourmet reputation. Here’s our pick of Europe’s top spots for great grub on the cheap.

PARIS The only European city to equal San Sebastian’s clutch of Michelins, Paris possesses plenty of expensive restaurants.

But what’s great about a culture so obsessed with food is that you can pick up high-calibre morsels in any old deli.

Fine cheese and wine comes cheap, and there are scores of little bistros dishing up decadent cooking at low prices.

Try Chez Germaine in the 7th arrondissement, where exquisite main meals cost from just £13. (30 rue Pierre Leroux; tel. +33 1 4273 2834) ROME Known for being a passionate lot, the Romans lavish this ardour on their cuisine as much as anything else. But while the city’s three-Michelin-star La Pergola restaurant might be on every greedy gourmand’s to-do list, there are plenty of cheap neighbourhood trattorias dishing up pizzas and pastas that’ll stay with you for life. For a really memorable taste of Rome, seek out Er Buchetto. This three-table hole in the wall serves one dish only – sandwiches stuffed with ecstasyinducing slowroast pork. Pair with a glass of red for about £3 in all. erbuchetto.wordpress.com BRUSSELS Chocolate, waffles, buns, frites … Belgium is renowned for its food, and the weight gain it inevitably portends. Foodies will find a galaxy of Michelins in the capital, but bellies on a budget can be filled at the cavernous Au Stekerlapatte bistro near the Palais de Justice. Sample some more offbeat traditional delights such as grilled pig’s trotters. Mains from £11. (rue des Prêtres 4, Upper Town, tel. + 32 2 5128681) TOLOSALDEA This region to the south of San Sebastian is just as crazy about cuisine as its more famous neighbour. Perhaps best known for the native (and mouth-numbing) Ibarra chili pepper, Tolosaldea holds foodie fairs year-round, offering free samples and discount dishes. The town of Tolosa hosts the most, including an annual ‘battle of the beans’ to show off the much-hyped Tolosa black bean – best served with Ibarra peppers and blood sausage – and a summer beer festival. Get in. tolosaldea.net

Photos: TNT, Getty, Thinkstock

San Sebastian is unabashedly romantic. The scenery – crashing waves on one side, soaring Pyrenees on the other – is made for a sunset. In fact, the whole vibe of the city is an elaborate lead-in to getting busy: sumptuous food, fine wines, beach-based frolics.

We suggest you stroll hand-in-hand up Monte Urgull for incredible views (there’s a path from Plaza de Zuloaga).

At the top, get your picture with the giant statue of Christ, then watch the sky’s light dim over the vista.

For the lazier Casanova, take your missus up the funicular (not a euphemism), which starts at Ondaretta beach in the west of town and stops at the top of Monte Igueldo, on the opposite side from Urgull. Couples can get misty-eyed over yet more heartlifting views across Concha bay.

TOP TIP: To really impress, book a session at beachside spa La Perla.

Right on La Concha, you can follow up a pamper session with sunbathing.

Two hours in the spa costs from £20pp. la-perla.net ❚

Picnic by the Eiffel Tower

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“DRY SAN SEBASTIÁN” BAR People from all periods have gathered in this bar in the hotel gallery. Its exclusive English-style atmosphere has turned it into a meeting point for gatherings, coffees, drinks and snacks and part of the day-to-day life of the inhabitants of San Sebastian.

www.luxurycollection.com/mariacristina TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Rock the Kasbah This is Marrakech in 48 hours WORDS LAURA CHUBB

DAY 1: 10:00 Marrakech is pure chaos, so be brave and dive in. Head straight for the centre of the action at Djemaa elFna – the city’s main square – and run the gauntlet of snake charmers and donkey carts, while doing your best to avoid the hawkers thrusting everything from orange juice and hash pipes to henna in your face. The square is one of the busiest in Africa and even the world. Call it culture shock therapy; you’ll be ready to face anything in Marrakech after this.

11:30 Make a beeline for the backstreets of the medina, or fortified old town. This warren of winding lanes boasts row upon row of shops selling trinkets and lines of donkeys bumping dawdlers out of the way. Wander the labyrinth of souks (markets) and do your best not to get dragged into a carpet shop.

12:30 Cool off by heading south of Djemaa el-Fna towards the Kasbah, a calmer part of the medina. It’s around here that you’ll find Badi Palace (near Place des Ferblantiers; entrance 71p), once a great 16th-century royal residence resplendent in gold, turquoise and crystal, and now a sandycoloured ruin. A must-visit here is Koutoubia Minbar (add another 71p), a beautifully crafted prayer pulpit with cedar wood steps and decorative designs created from gold, silver and ivory. Head high to enjoy great views over the medina.

13:30 Grab some lunch from one of the Kasbah’s food stalls, so that there’s a chance of eating in (relative) peace. Kebabs and cous-cous are perfect for filling up fast, and shouldn’t cost you more than a couple of quid.

14:30 Seek out the Kasbah’s Saadian Tombs (near Kasbah Mosque; entrance 71p). These restored resting places date 80

back to the time of sultan Ahmad al-Mansur (1578-1603).

The legendary ruler imported Italian marble and insisted on pure gold archways for the Chamber of the 12 Pillars.

15:30 For a major change of pace, wander the Jardin Majorelle (jardinmajorelle.com; entrance about £2).

A tropical garden filled with fountains, peaceful pools, bamboo forests and cacti, it’s a relaxing retreat from the mayhem outside. Rest and regroup.

16:30 An essential Marrakech experience is wandering the ramparts – the old city walls, made from mudbrick in the 12th century. There are ancient gates along the way, which look particularly pretty at sunset, when the fading light gives them a magical orange hue.

18:30 Head back to Djemaa el-Fna, which turns into a food market come nightfall. Indulge in sizzling barbecued meat and special tajines (a Berber stew cooked in a clay pot) for a few pounds. There’s dinnertime entertainment, with drummers, bellydancers and musicians vying for attention.

20:30 There aren’t many bars serving up alcohol in the medina as Marrakech is mostly Islamic, but if you’re pining for a pint, try the Chesterfield Pub in the Hotel Nassim (115 Avenue Mohammed V). Though intended as an imitation Brit boozer, it’s a touch more exotic than your typical spit n’ sawdust drinking den, with a courtyard boasting underlit pool and palm trees. Serves up decent Moroccan lager.

22:00 If that’s whet your appetite for a big night, queue up for international superclub Pacha (pachamarrakech.com).

Entry is about £15, but drinks are expensive.

DAY 2: 11:00 Staying in a riad is a must-do in Marrakech.

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HOSTEL RIAD MARRAKECH ROUGE Ridiculously bright, impossibly friendly backpackers hostel in the centre of the medina.

RIAD LAYLA ROUGE - The first edible riad for adventure hungry travellers in Marrakech.

Entering into the true spirit of family-run hostelling, you will be welcomed into a lively and soulful community of backpackers and travellers from all over the world.

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

Do come and have a glass of tea with us!

There are plenty of five-star establishments set in these traditional Moroccan houses, but there’s a handful of hostels, too. Wake up at Riad Iaazane (57 Derb el Gnayz, El Mouassine; from £4pn) in the centre of the medina, and take in the panoramic view from the roof terrace.

12:00 One of the city’s strangest sights is the High-Tech Souq (near Place de la Kissaria). Shops set into mudbrick walls hawk piles of flatscreen TVs while decrepit donkeys lug their loads of computers and digital cameras.

13:00 Now scrub the inch of Moroccan dirt off your skin at a local hammam. Treat yourself at Les Palais Rhoul Hammam (palais-rhoul.com; treatments from £47), a luxurious complex of pillars, pools, archways and courtyards that will make you feel like a spoiled sultan.

16:00 Return to the real world and head for one of the most impressive 12th-century gates in the city, Bab Agnaou (Kasbah, north of Bab er-Rob). The intricate craftmanship and inscriptions are worth a few photos.

17:00 End the afternoon in Marrakech’s Jewish quarter, the Mellah (east on Rue Riad Zitoun el-Jedid). While only a few Jewish residents remain in these narrow alleys, you can spot scores of Star of David symbols etched on to doors.

19:00 Nosh a posh last supper at Ksar Essaoussan (essaoussane.com), serving traditional set meals for about £25 in a romantic riad. Raise one of the restaurant’s cocktails to the city – and your survival.

www.marrakechrouge.com www.riadlaylarouge.com 00212 670760149 / 0044 7980416366

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Return flights from London Heathrow to Marrakech Menara, via Madrid, start from £284 with Iberia iberia.com/gb

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Panama CENTRAL AMERICA

Boquete

PANAMA

PANAMA CITY

GETTING THERE British Airways flies from London Heathrow to Tocumen International Airport, 15 miles outside Panama City, from ÂŁ700 return. britishairways.com

Bocas del Toro: a slice of Panamanian paradise 82

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BIGTRIP

Rugged and raw Take extreme kayaking, untouched paradise islands and a 4x4 death drive up a volcano, and what do you get? Welcome to Panama WORDS JENNIFER CARR

WHEN TO GO: Rainy season in Panama is from May to November.

I’m palpably, uncomfortably afraid. The water Banana Canal and seems intent on taking Dry season is December to March. of northern Panama’s Banana Canal hisses me out in a tropical slamdunk. I steady The rain can be cumbersome and with untamed energy beneath my kayak. myself and speedily lodge my vessel in some brings out more mosquitoes.

A storm is a-coming, and if I let it, the current reeds beneath a gnarly, bearded tree, which could swiftly coax me out into the open reminds me of a wise elder to keep me safe.

CURRENCY: £1 = PAB1.57 Caribbean Sea. Inches from my face, an army of leaf-cutter (Panamanian Balboa) The Banana Canal – a suitably bendy ants balance emerald leaves as they march ACCOMMODATION: Run backwater – leads out into the ocean through by knowledgable Americans and up the vines into the canopy above. Their the protected archipelago of Bastimentos kamikaze efforts to keep calm and carry local expert guides, eco lodge National Marine Park. Comprising dozens of on in the storm are commendable; one Tranquilo Bay in Bastimentos does lush, virgin-white-sand islands, more than 52 thick, fat rain drop is enough to send them brilliant kayaking excursions and cays and hundreds more islets, the region was lip-smacking food. Package deals plummeting to a watery grave. a key player in Panama’s Banana Republic Between April and September, monsoon available. tranquilobay.com heyday, when vast quantities of bananas Mamallena, in the heart of Boquete, season in northern Panama brings with were exported to North America via these it plenty of these climatic curveballs. One offers an outdoor garden and daily waterways in the 1890s. minute you can be reclining under the pancake breakfasts. Dorms from The dozens of plantations that flank exquisite Caribbean blue sky, only to be £7pn. mamallenaboquete.com the network today are a reminder of the shaken awake by apocalyptic lightning country’s former economic backbone. For a while, though, against Dante-esque clouds the next. An upside to these the epicentre of Panama’s financial prowess has been the extremities, however, is a splendid range of diverse capital city, thanks to a canal of such engineering triumph geography and wildlife, something that’s criminally that hundreds of thousands of tourists flock to marvel at the overlooked by those hotfooting it to the costlier, more manmade locks that link the Pacific and Atlantic oceans over crowded Costa Rica next door. an incredible 50-mile stretch. The creation of the canal in My Tranquilo Bay compadres catch up and we decide 1914 meant traders no longer had to sail all the way around to stop wimping out, instead engaging our biceps against the tip of South America to cross from one ocean to the the six-mile fetch that’s surging towards us from an angry other. Even so, after a day spent strolling the canal walkways Caribbean Sea. My embarrassing lack of upper-body strength and rollerblading paths feeling like a phoney shipping geek, means I’m wiped out in minutes; paddling against the I’m only too ready to swap the inescapable urbanism for current in sheet rain that’s the temperature of a bath is something a touch prettier. energy-sapping. My left thigh cramps up and my yelp is lost Fortunately, Panama’s northern archipelago is blessedly amid the waves of thunder that bellow in the distance. We free from oil tankers and freight cargo carriers. It’s hard to persevere, plunging our paddles back into the water, shifting believe that only 60 minutes north on a tiny 30-seater plane our weight in a bid to remain upright. Half a mile feels like lies a simpler, more serene Panama, a place vibrating with five. My fingers, arms and thighs ache more than any boot hummingbirds, bats, natural caves and lagoons, and perhaps camp fitness regimen I can recall. I begin to wonder if a the occasional pink dolphin plopping about in the shallows. beach excursion wouldn’t have been simpler?

Better still, it’s fast becoming a playground for kayak-loving Then, from nowhere, an almost biblical shard of light gringos looking for some heart-raising paddle power, which bounces off the water – the storm is leaving. Birds wail in explains why I’m here with a group of other travellers and appreciation, while an olive-hued frog high-jumps on to the our guides from wilderness lodge Tranquilo Bay. nose of my kayak: the first and only hitchhiker on the canal. ›› Back in my kayak, the threatening storm rolls down the Flanking the azure reef, my group and I rev ourselves TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Clockwise: skip breakfast before motoring up Mount Volcan Baru; paddling the Banana Canal; a spot of local colour; banana plantations line the waterways up for another bicep bashing as we tackle the open waves that buffer us on our journey towards the unapologetically gorgeous two islands of Cayos Zapatilla, just east of the larger Bastimentos Island. We gratefully run our kayaks aground and slide out on to gilded, untainted sands.

There’s not a sarong seller nor Coke can in sight.

After snorkeling in waters alive with swirling coloured fish and red coral clusters, we head back to the beach for a simple lunch of rice, beans, local fried green banana and the region’s signature spicy sauce. The latter is an attack on the tastebuds, a piquant yellow pepper creation that locals use to cure anything from coldsores to sinus infections. A plentiful supply of freshly fallen coconuts ensures my mouth doesn’t burn for long. I chug two in a row before I collapse on the sand, elated, exhausted and excited to find out what else this country’s got in store for me.

Some six hours and two bus rides away sits Boquete, a mountainous coffee town in the heart of the southwestern Chririqui highlands on the doorstep of Costa Rica.

Geographically, it’s a world away from the lush, tropical archipelago of Bastiomentos, but this caffeine-scented community is a huge draw for adventure lovers, offering canopying, whitewater rafting, rock climbing, hot springs, volcano hiking and rainforest zipwires for a start.

But my appetite for adrenaline is truly piqued by a brand-new 4X4 Jeep excursion up Central America’s highest volcano, Volcán Barú. It’s almost 12,000ft above sea level, with notoriously steep, unforgiving trekking trails, and you could argue a Jeep is the wimp’s way to the top.

Not so, according to local guide Stephen Dow, a longtime petrolhead who’s enhancing Boquete’s adventure scene with his customised Jeep tours (and a soon-to-launch high-speed 84

go-kart park). His tours are not for the faint of stomach, however – scaling enormous boulders and plunging down vertical ravines for three hours means you’re in for the ride of your life, but don’t expect it to be a comfortable one. I’m scared shitless, but sign up anyway for a 3am pick up.

Bleary-eyed, two fearless insomniacs and I clamber into the Jeep in the freezing pre-dawn. Mist swirls through a

The Banana Canal leads into the Caribbean

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sleeping, ghostly Boquete, but Stephen greets us like he’s just done a gym session. He’s buzzing from local caffeine and takes us through the Jeep’s souped-up credentials: US$7000 on suspension from leading off-road company Skyjacker; a solid metal bar on the Jeep’s underbelly (“so the back half of the truck doesn’t get ripped off”); reinforced roll bars on the roof. I’m momentarily reassured, until Stephen advises me to “keep your seatbelt off, this is a tactical adventure, not a speed-based one”. It does little to quell the mounting apprehension as we make our ascent.

A half-mile of pothole track is traversed smoothly – “this is nothing,” I smirk. Then the path ends. A sharp hairpin bend presents a wall of stacked boulders flanked by coniferous trees and a vertical drop. I think of the metal roll bars on the roof and a clammy pool of sweat forms in my clenched palms. But Stephen’s in his element, putting the Jeep into

“

The storm takes me in a tropical slamdunk

”

second and revving the clutch so we lurch violently up the rocky route. “I saw a gap in the market with this volcano,” the former racing driver casually explains, as we swing from side to side. “The hike up is hardly scenic. So I thought, why not fastrack people to the summit with a bit of fun?” Why not indeed, I think, and congratulate myself on avoiding breakfast.

At 4.30am, we disembark 8000ft up at Volcán Barú’s finest lookout, popping our ears and drinking sweet, strong coffee while appreciating the sky’s rapidly reddening hues.

It’s a sign we need to crack on and tackle the mountain’s notorious tricky spots to make what promises to be a staggering sunrise.

At one point we hit a spot known as ‘Magnetic Hill’, where plentiful ions in the soil enable the Jeep to move upward while in neutral. Could adventure be any lazier? ››

Stephen Dow: wacky racer

The Insider's guide Stephen Dow is the mastermind behind the stomachflipping 4x4 ride up Volcán Barú. Here’s his guide to a good time in Boquete.

Mi Jardin es Su Jardin “Hiking’s a great way to explore the surrounds and soak up the region’s laidback ambiance. Walking north out of town, just uphill from Café Ruíz, there’s a magnificent garden that surrounds a luxurious private estate. The residence is off-limits to the public, but you are free to stroll about the gardens unhindered and enjoy a sinful mocha coffee – made from local dark chocolate and Panamanian coffee in this quirky family-run cafe.”

Me Tarzan, you game?

“For those wanting to max out the adrenaline activities in Boquete, I’d rate the Tree Trek over all else for a guaranteed thrill. Located in a secondary forest about a 30-minute drive out of town, the trek consists of 14 platforms, 13 ziplines, a rappel and a Tarzan-swing. It’s definitely not for the vertigo prone! But it’s great for action junkies keen to pick up some serious speed on the line.” hablayapanama.com/ecotourism Crazy for coffee “If caffeine’s your thing, visit the Finca Dos Jefes for a really thorough tour around gorgeous farmland alive with the sound of hummigbirds. Better still, tour guides Rich and Carlos are fun, friendly and full of knowledge. They also speak great English and will take you through the entire growing, harvesting and roasting process of coffee production, as well as plenty of samples of different roasts as you walk around the finca. A real eye-opener into how high-quality organic coffee is farmed and a lovely place to learn about one of Boquete’s most important crops.” boquetecoffeetour.com

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Two near death-falls and a failed clutch later, we’re at the summit. It’s 5.10am and sunrise’s beauty is obscured by the reality that up here, it’s staggeringly, unforgivably cold.

Swirls of freezing fog encase the top of the volcanoes, whipping around pylons responsible for powering the still slumbering Boquete that sits below us.

We clamber gingerly out of the Jeep, using a weatherbattered outhouse for shelter against the freezing winds that whip off Baru. I’m stubborn enough to ignore my purple fingers and the -10˚C windchill, in favour of the photogenic ocean of clouds that billow across the skyline in a shades of red and ochre. Dawn, and the most apocalyptic vision I’ve seen in Central America. Yet again, I get to enjoy it with only three other people competing for the view. That’s the thing that really gets me about Panama: for now, it’s a playground you can enjoy pretty much to yourself. ❚ A four-night kayaking tour package, including private bungalow, kayaks, guides and excursions, is £960pp tranquilobay.com The Jeep tour is US$100 (£63) per person, with snacks and drinks provided. Call +507 6462 2080 for more.

Rural Panama: traditional dress

Desert island: have Bastimentos to yourself

BEST OF THE REST MUST-DO PANAMA

THERMAL SPRINGS, DAVID About 2.4 miles north of David – Chiriqui Province’s capital city – is a stretch of waterfall-fed river said to bring health benefits thanks to the region’s mineral-rich tectonic soils.

It’s even been outfitted with a bar so you can quaff your way to good health in the medicinal waters. david.chiriqui.org

Modern marvel: the Panama Canal

NEXT WEEK

Volcán Barú: at the top

Extreme bike ride: Pedalling from Georgia to Armenia

Photos: Jennifer Carr, Getty, Thinkstock, Visit Panama

BOCAS DEL TORO TOWN The prinicipal town in the Bastimentos archipelago, Bocas del Toro has earned itself a reputation as a party island for gringos wanting to take advantage of lapse laws on drugs and dance parties. But it’s also a great place to check out the region’s stellar seafood scene (where else can you eat lobster for £4?) and enjoy a pina colada, served up in a chilled coconut husk, while looking out over the Caribbean Sea. bocasdeltoro.com

JUNGLE LAND, PANAMA CITY Available as an overnight excursion or fun-packed six hours, this canal and city tour, hosted by convivial Captain Carl, takes you out of the capital to experience nature up close and personal. You’ll cruise into Lake Gatun by tranquil houseboat and get plenty of chances to swim in natural waterfalls, spy some alligators and iguanas, and enjoy homemade culinary delights. junglelandpanama.com; from £60pp

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EGYPT

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4 DAY Make your own way

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WAS £1230

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Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.639, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. North America discount and “Win your trip for free” details available at www.topdeck.travel - See online for full terms and conditions.

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TRAVEL

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TRAVEL

OKTOBERFEST

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NURSING

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To apply, send a CV and cover letter detailing your current salary, along with five examples of your work, and a 200-word critique of this week's magazine.

Applications to: Carol Driver, Group Editor, carol.driver@tntmagazine.com by Tuesday, September 3.

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* approach may be fun for a onenighter after the Walkie, but to move her in...? Man, her partying ways have turned you into a cokehead. You’ve changed, Marley.

Sort ya shit out. The Boyz SO LONG LOSERS: I’ve finally found a new flatshare, so farewell to you shitbags in 41B – you’ve made my life hell. Some of us have to get up for work, you know, so playing your crap music until 4am on a fucking Tuesday just isn’t on.

dinner sometime – from the ginger bloke with the blue bag TUBE STINK: To the sweaty bloke with the grey shirt on the train from Surbiton – your boots bloody stink. It’s like they’ve started their own fungus farm down there.

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#493 Hijack Keith Lemon’s movie premiere with a cute chick on each shoulder

And I’m well rid of the shit stains in the toilet and the food which actually had creatures crawling around on it in the fridge. I pity your future wives as you’re all useless wasters. Nicky B DATE NIGHT?: Blondey on the Central line getting off at Holborn every day at 8.35am. I know you’ve noticed me. Don’t be shy. Come for a drink with me after work one day.

It’ll be worth it. Man with pink tie HUMMUS HABIT: To the girl that eats hummus for breakfast most mornings on the District line – let me take you out for a proper

the girls will love it. Cheers, Al ANOTHER TIME?: You walked into the Plough in a blue summer dress and my heart stopped. I was a moment away from walking over and introducing myself when your boyfriend arrived. Why are all the good ones taken? Bob DOG’S LIFE: I was sitting in the park with friends enjoying the summer sun, when I saw you wander over. You looked excited, and were looking for something. A summer friend perhaps? And then you licked my face and found your ball – typical golden retriever! PP

KEEP IT DOWN: To the girl next door to me with the heavy Ocker accent. Every word you say, I can hear – even when you shagged that guy a few weeks ago... oh yeah I was right there with you. The walls are paper-thin in Hackney. You made me laugh though with “Don’t you fucking cum yet you bastard”.

Classy as ever! Daisy of Dalston OWLS ASSEMBLE!: Kate is back in town. Let’s show the dirty bitch London is better than Melbourne (and that she can pull boys her own age here). Who’s on for an owlstravaganza at Dalston Jazz Bar? They’ll play Return Of The Mack just for us. Snow xx AL: Sorry we haven’t had that pint yet, but it’s no reason to get all huffy like a massive girl. I’m not fobbing you off. Genuinely in the midst of a shitstorm. Here’s hoping you read this and feel better. Call me. Elsie x LYNNIE: Disappointed to see that you, who I have always considered my most sensible friend, are also incapable of naming your child kindly. Lucien? Really? Mrs C. MATERIAL GUY: To the hot guy in Topman, Oxford Circus, who served me at the weekend. I think your name was Brandt or Bernie or something but your smile made my day. Until next time hot lips! Steve WATER ROMANCE: Filling my cup at the water tower – the last place I expected my heart to flutter. I wanted to ask you out for a drink. Maybe next time I will be able to control myself and give you my name because as you may have guessed, it isn’t: Beer. Naked. Ben

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SEE YA!: Layno, Matty & Chrisso, 25A won’t be the same without you guys, we’ve had such a blast in a glass! From trashy Walkie and Elk nights, drunken rap battles and harmonica jamming sessions, the most M savers I’ve ever seen in my life and, of course, the ongoing chicken debate ... Cottage v Sammy’s. Enjoy your last few travels before hittin the shores back in Aus. 25A reunion for shiz!!!

P.S. Cottage Forever!! Luv Shae -XoXoXCITY ADVENTURE: Tan: the past seven years have been an amazing ride, thanks so much for the fun and memories. With our last days in London approaching I look forward to making many more with you. I hope you enjoy your 30th birthday. Happy birthday! G TUBE PUSHERS: To all the people who try to squeeze their fat arses into the train when there is clearly no space: fuck off, or I will dig my elbows into you. Just wait for the next train, which is only ever a minute or so away. Gezza MYSTERIOUS GIRL: In another world, we may have met, but in this one we are destined to be be strangers forever. That’s the way it goes sometimes. Have a nice life. Peter GEORGES: We know the washing machine’s broken, but washing your underwear in the dishwasher? Dude, that’s off. Not to mention the suds all over the kitchen floor. Wake up. Kilamanjaro MARLEY: You know that mad little Brazilian is no good for you. The too-short skirts, tits-out

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