TNT Magazine / Issue 1518

October 1-7 2012 Issue 1518 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

TWO SEASON PASSES TO T HE RAINBOW CL UB WORTH £500

PICK OF THE FLICKS What not to miss at London Film Festival

POUNDING THE POWDER ’Tis the season to get winter sporty – here’s how

BANGIN’ BEATS IN BERLIN We go inside the world’s most notorious club

D E F F U T S GET

t Festival n a r u a t s e R e London h t t a e g n a h mall c Big eats for s

+ LATE DEALS ABU DHABI WHAT THE HELL IS BELLYBOARDING?

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Oktoberfest

Last Seats

4 DAY Make your own way

5 DAY Prostmeister

6 DAY Steinmeister

7 DAY Grossmeister

Camping

Camping

Camping

Camping

4-7 October 2012

– FROM SEATS L A ST

!

HURRY

£109

4-8 October 2012

– FROM SEATS L A ST

!

HURRY

£229 Includes return coach from London!

3-8 October 2012

FROMO AVAILAB N

ILITY

£249 Includes return coach from London!

3-9 October 2012

FROMT SEATS – H LAS

URRY!

£289 Includes return coach from London!

Oktoberfest Reunion Thursday 11th October Shepherd’s Bush Walkabout 6pm onwards + Catch up with and meet new friends + First 50 people get a free drink + Prizes to be won on the night + Plan your next Topdeck adventure and get discounts on all trips booked on the night

CALL 0845 257 5211 Open 8am-9pm

*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Flights not included.

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LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s functional eating.

I know a handful of perverse people who consume food purely for fuel; they’d happily take a pill to do the job instead if they could. The London Restaurant Festival makes an excellent case for why these folks deserve a severe flogging. The city we live in is home to an embarrassment of world-class, moan-worthy eats. Turn to P8 to find out how you can munch more of it for less.

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

12 14-15

@TNT

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SPOTTED

19

LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22&25

LONDON FOCUS COMPETITIONS

30 24&26

CHATROOM TIM FREEDMAN LONDON SCENE SPARE TIME

28-29 34

LIFESTYLE

35-45

SHOPPING

35

FEATURES THE BIG EAT

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HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

A fortnight of feasting on the city’s best food at the London Restaurant Festival

CAREERS

38-39

TIM FREEDMAN

MONEY

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, Stephen Baccon

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The Aussie crooner on his first London show in five years and love for Rolf Harris

LIVING

44-45

NEWS & SPORT

46-58

MOVIE MARATHON

TRAVEL

61-84

This year’s London Film Festival promises to be the best yet. Here’s what to see

DIARY

62

NEWS

63

BELLYBOARDING

LATE DEALS

66

Check out the wackiest sporting craze in Cornwall at its world championships

HOTSHOTS

67

TOP FIVE

68-69

TIPS & STUFF

70&72

48 HOURS IN... ABU DHABI 78-79 CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

86-113 114

27

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INSIDE BERGHAIN

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We join the queue at Berlin’s famed club and find out what all the fuss is about

WINTER WONDERS

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’Tis the season to get sporty. TNT hits the slopes without skis for a real adventure

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EDITORIAL Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Features writer Jade Bremner

LONDONDIARY

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@tntmagazine

Al Murray at last year’s east London Oktoberfest

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

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Shhh... SECRET LONDON OKTOBERFEST

OLD STREET AND TOWER HILL This five-week celebration is now in its ninth year. There’s all manner of German and Austrian beers on hand to sample, plus waitresses in dirndls and ‘Oompah’ music, too. Last year the fest steered its way through 264,000 pints of beer, 15,000 pork schnitzels, more than 40,000 sausages and nearly 900 kilos of sauerkraut. Entrance is free on Wednesdays and Thursdays with a £14.50 weekend fee including a stein of lager to get you going. Time to get your drinking face on! £14.50

Until October 27. 7pm-1am Bavarian Beerhouse, EC1V 2QH/ EC3N 2AU

Old Street/ Tower Hill

bavarian-beerhouse.com

PONGATHON

ADVENTURE FILM FESTIVAL

PHOTOMONTH

If it’s raining outside, then duck into the shelter, drink in hand, for some indoor sports. Take the Pongbot Challenge, in which you face off against a ping pong robot, with wall-to-wall ping pong tables spread out across two floors in this east London table tennis haven.

Grab a bat, and a glass, and get crackin’.

Forget the Olympics, this film festival puts the focus on extreme sports – kayaking over waterfalls, mountain biking down the sheer drops of the Himalayas, that sort of thing. This national festie is spread over three themed nights – Endurance, High Altitude and Adrenaline – featuring the most bonkers athletes you can imagine.

Two months of eye-catching photography comes to east London, bringing together the finest photographers working today and giving them a platform to reach as wide an audience as possible. Among the exhibitions are Pages Of Hackney and Travellers’ Children, as well as a series of talks and workshops, too.

October 2. 5pm-11pm Richmix, E1 6LA Shoreditch High Street richmix.org.uk

October 8-Nov 1. Various times Various adventurefest.co.uk

October 1-Nov 30. Various times Various photomonth.org

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

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Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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African culture at this month-long event

AFROVIBES

Locations across London This biannual festival celebrates the very best in performance from South Africa and beyond. Theatre, art, dance, music and spoken word comprise the programme, with the Township Café on hand to serve up authentic South African fare. As well as all this, there are post-show talks, late night music and workshops, so you can get involved and pick up a few skills along the way. £10-26

October 1-20. Various times Various afrovibes2012.co.uk

Photos: Simon Rawles

COMING SOON

FEMMES BY THE THAMES

AUSTIQUE KNICKER SALON

An evening of female comedy and cabaret headlined by Zoe Lyons, who’s played around the world, was a hit at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and has been seen on Mock The Week and Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. Joanna Neary, Ada Campe and Bunnie Morethan provide support.

This exhibition is quite literally pants, but pants of only the most high-end designer variety.

London store Austique holds a knicker salon at its two London stores in Chelsea and Marylebone. Go for a selection of the most luxurious and sought-after undies out there.

£6

October 4. 7pm Royal Vauxhall Tavern, SE11 5HY Vauxhall rvt.org.uk

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SUNDAYS

FREE

October 1-30. 10am-8pm 330 Kings Road, SW3 5UR/ 40 New Cavendish Street, W1G 8UD South Kensington/ Bond Street austique.com

OLIVER LANG PENDULUM (DJ SET) STONEBRIDGE KAMUKI

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7-8 CAVENDISH PARADE - 100METRES FROM CLAPHAM SOUTH TUBE

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LONDONNEWS

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FALLING BRANCH KILLS KIWI WOMAN Friends of a woman killed by a falling branch in Kew Gardens have described hearing “a loud crack like thunder” before she was hit.

New Zealander Erena Louise Wilson was crushed by a 12-inch-thick branch that snapped off a 60ft tree in high winds.

The 31-year-old was walking around the Royal Botanic Gardens in southwest London last Sunday with two friends.

They said they ran after hearing the crack, but turned back to see Wilson lying on the ground. Tributes have been paid to the media account manager, calling her “beautiful inside and out”.

I think he was only pretending. It was a brilliant move Boris Johnson makes excuses for PM David Cameron, who didn’t know what Magna Carta meant or who composed Rule Britannia while being grilled on The Late Show. Tut

AUSSIE BOAT RACE PROTESTER ‘GUILTY’ An Australian man who stopped the Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race by jumping into the Thames has been convicted of causing a public nuisance.

Trenton Oldfield, 36, could face jail for his antics, which the prosecution said put his life at risk. It was the first time in the annual race’s 158-year history that it’s been interrupted by a swimmer. Oldfield, who appeared at Isleworth Crown Court, is due to be sentenced on October 19.

ON THE TUBE

Taking action: protesters outside Downing Street

‘Sluts’ reunite for city walk

Protesters march semi-naked demanding justice for rape victims Provocatively dressed and waving cards and banners emblazoned with the word ‘slut’, protesters gathered outside Downing Street demanding increased support for rape victims.

The semi-naked campaigners, part of the controversial SlutWalk movement, called on the British PM to take assault cases more seriously and put more rapists behind bars.

Women, including some dressed in shorts skirts and in their underwear, marched for justice for “rape survivors who were told by the police and courts they were dressed too provocatively”, a spokesman said. As well as the Downing

Street protest, thousands were expected to line the streets of the capital on Saturday, in the second wave of walks.

The first demonstration in June saw up to 5000 people march from Hyde Park to Trafalgar Square for the campaign.

“By marching again this year, we are letting authorities know that we will not go away until they take rape seriously by thoroughly investigating and prosecuting,” a spokesman said.

The SlutWalk movement began in 2011 after a Toronto policeman told a group of female students they shouldn’t dress provotactively in order to avoid being sexually assaulted.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

On display: MJ’s outfits

THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES

CIRCLE: No service all weekend.

DISTRICT: No service between Earl’s Court and Edgware Road or between Aldgate East and Upminster all weekend.

Rail replacement buses will operate.

H’SMITH & CITY: No service before 10.30am on Saturday – replacement buses will operate. No service between King’s Cross St Pancras and Barking on Sunday.

JUBILEE: No service between Stanmore

NORTHERN: No service between Charing Cross and Camden Town.

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Photos: Getty

and West Hampstead all weekend. Rail replacement buses will operate.

MJ fans: wave your hands in the air! Your time has come.

A collection of the King Of Pop’s personal and concert outfits is on tour, and it’s hitting London town this week.

Get to see what Michael Jackson lounged around in while he was surrounded by his kiddie friends at his Neverland Ranch; gawp at what he donned while recording hits such as Smooth Criminal; then marvel at the number of sequins it took to create some of his concert attire. It’s mind-boggling.

The Collection Of Tompkins & Bush: Michael Jackson Wardrobe will feature dozens of iconic costumes and fashion artefacts – including that glove. You’ll get to see it all if you wander to The Getty Images Gallery, The Street, Westfield Stratford, E20 1EJ, between Oct 5 to Nov 4. Shamone!

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ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

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FREEPHONE 0800 151 3511 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

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Foodie fortnight Eat top-end nosh without emptying your wallet and find dining’s next big thing at the London Restaurant Festival WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN London is banging its knife and fork on the table in anticipation of 2012’s most foodie-friendly fortnight. The London Restaurant Festival is a feast for all the senses, mainly the taste buds, with some of the city’s most celebrated eateries hosting events showing why they’re the créme de la créme, but at prices we can actually afford, and hundreds of up-and-coming restaurants proving they’re ripe for success.

Showstoppers will include ‘Gourmet Odysseys’, in which diners pack into Routemaster buses and tour along a trail of restaurants, eating a course in each.

Other establishments have compiled special menus, starting at a very reasonable £8.95pp for two courses and a bevvie. There are also tapas tours and Sunday lunch spectaculars.

At the festival’s ‘Eat Film’ evenings famous foodies such as TV host Michela Chiappa, writer Tom Parker Bowles and chef Russell Norman will create dishes based on their favourite flicks – diners will watch the movie before tucking into the meal it inspired.

Restaurateur Norman, who owns Soho’s trendy Venetian hotspot Polpo,

among others, is hosting his night in the Sanctum Hotel with a menu based on 1987 cult black comedy Withnail And I. “Despite the fact it’s a film that’s remembered mostly for booze and drugs, there are actually quite a lot of great food moments,” Norman says.

“When Uncle Monty is preparing the lamb at [the cottage] Crow Crag he talks about only being able to handle meat once it’s cooked, saying: ‘As a youth, I used to weep in butchers’ shops’. And I love the way he punctuates ‘garlic, rosemary, salt.’”

Festival events director Adam Coghlan flags ‘Graze’ as an unmissable concept. It will shine a light on London’s favourite foodie strips, including Exmouth Market, Bermondsey Street, Marylebone High Street, Brixton Village, Charlotte Street and Soho, each on a different night of the festival. A Graze keyring (£12.50) will get diners a free glass of wine when they buy a dish from any of the participating restaurants.

“Everyone always wants to have the best of all worlds when they’re on a street with so many good restaurants,”

Coghlan says. And now they can.

Event prices vary: costlier options offer one-off menus designed by worldclass chefs served in top restaurants.

But there are plenty of great events that don’t break the bank, as well as food markets, sushi lessons and a cake bake-off, making the festival accessible to all food-lovers. And keep an eye out for ‘Side Order’ events – last year’s included the transformation of The Old Vic Tunnels into a subterranean maze

by Pret-A-Diner and a ‘cockney dinner’ in London Fields’ Prince Arthur pub.

“Foodies, hipsters, families and City boys all rub shoulders at the London Restaurant Festival,” Coghlan says. “It doesn’t pinpoint any one demographic because everyone loves food!

“The London restaurant scene, in terms of diversity and ambition, is the best in the world,” he adds. “It offers more affordable options than Paris, more variety than Tokyo and is now in the same league as New York.”

OUR PICK OF FESTIVAL EVENTS ››

Un

The festival runs from Oct 1-15. Tickets at londonrestaurantfestival.com

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Saturday 27 October Business Design Centre Islington 9.30am - 5.30pm

Street eats: dine at the best markets

Free if you pre-register at tnttravelshow.com Unlikely foodies: Withnail And I wasn’t just about booze

DON’T MISS OUT! #TNTtravelshow Light bites: book on the Tapas Tour

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KITCHEN INFLUENTIALS: PHILIP HOWARD AND MARK KEMPSON KENSINGTON

HENRY HARRIS AND VALENTINE WARNER AT RACINE KNIGHTSBRIDGE TV chef Warner and Racine owner Harris create a Sunday lunch. If Racine’s mainly French menu is anything to go by, expect lots and lots of butter. £85

Chefs team with their protégés and friends for a series of deluxe Sunday lunch events, including double Michelinstarred maestros Howard and Kempson. £85

Oct 7, 12.30pm 11-13 Abingdon Road, W8 6AH High Street Kensington kitchenw8.com

Oct 7, 12.30pm 239 Brompton Road, SW3 2EP South Kensington, Gloucester Rd racine-restaurant.com

GOURMET ODYSSEY (CLASSIC): HIX MAYFAIR The London Restaurant Festival is bundling diners onto a Routemaster bus for a series of gourmet odysseys: this one includes a journey through the city’s classic eateries. Elegant and British will be the order of the day, with a course each at Hix at the Albemarle in Browne’s Hotel, Wiltons, and L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon. £105

Oct 6, 11.45am 33 Albemarle Street, W1S 4BP Green Park, Piccadilly Circus thealbemarlerestaurant.com

CEVICHE SOHO THE BIG DEBATE NOTTING HILL

Ceviche, one of London’s only Peruvian eateries, is doing a two-course lunch for a tenner. Menu choices range from Amazonian to AfroPeruvian in style. £10

GOURMET ODYSSEY (NEW): BRASSERIE ZEDEL SOHO £125 This tour in the gourmet odyssey series (see above) takes in hot newcomers including Brasserie Zedel, Novikov and Banca.

”The more we look, the less we cook: too many TV chefs are spoiling a domestic craft.”

So says the motion that will be the subject of this heated debate. Jonathan Meades and Matthew Fort will support the premise, arguing that we’re lazy sods who sit and watch others cook feasts on TV as we chow down on ready meals.

Grace Dent and Oliver Peyton, meanwhile, claim that our culinary skills are enriched by a diet of TV cookery programmes. Booze and snacks will be on hand as the matter is decided.

£49 Buy a ‘Tapas Passport’ to flit between bars, eating a dish and drinking a glass of wine in each. Try Fernandez & Wells’ melting cured meats.

Another stop on the Tapas Tour, Pix serves dishes inspired

by San Sebastian’s pintxos.

Basque Country delicacies come on a skewer, in a shot glass or piled on bread.

Oct 8, 7pm Tabernacle, 35 Powis Square, W11 2AY Notting Hill, Ladbroke Grove, Westbourne Park londonrestaurantfestival.com

Oct 6-14, Mon-Fri 11am-10pm; Sat-Sun 12-10pm 43 Lexington Street, W1F 9AL Tottenham Court Rd, Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus fernandezandwells.com

Oct 6-14, Mon-Thu 12-11.30pm; Fri-Sat 12-12; Sun 12-10pm 16 Bateman St, W1D 3AH Tottenham Court Rd, Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus pix-bar.com

£50

10

Oct 1-15, Mon-Thu 12-3pm; Fri-Sun 12-5pm 17 Frith Street, W1D 4RG Tottenham Court Road cevicheuk.com

TAPAS TOUR: FERNANDEZ & WELLS SOHO

Oct 13, 11.45am 20 Sherwood Street, W1F 7ED Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Sq brasseriezedel.com

TAPAS TOUR: PIX SOHO £49

DUCKSOUP NATURAL WINE TALK AND DINNER SOHO Ducksoup takes inspiration from France’s neighbourhood restaurants, changing their menu of seasonal food daily.

They also specialise in natural wines. As part of the festival, Ducksoup has invited Guillaume Aubert of specialty wine shop Aubert & Mascoli to talk about natural wines. They’re more environmentally friendly, but do these vinos taste as good as the conventional ones? Aubert & Mascoli believe so and promote biodynamic wines from independent winemakers. £55

Oct 8, 7pm 41 Dean St, W1D 4PY Tottenham Court Rd, Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus ducksoupsoho.co.uk

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TASTE BY APPOINTMENT AT DABBOUS FITZROVIA

GRAZE: FRENCH AND GRACE BRIXTON VILLAGE Experience the best of Marylebone High Street, Bermondsey Street, Exmouth Market, Charlotte Street, Brixton Village and Soho, each on different days. Buy a Graze keyring and you get a free glass of wine each time you buy a dish from one of the street’s participating restaurants, such as French and Grace, which began as a monthly supperclub but now sells its Mediterranean dishes from a home in Brixton. £12+

£75 Swanky venues offer one-to-one cocktail tasting sessions and ‘taste experiments’ for this Grey Goose-sponsored event. It also takes place at Bread Street Kitchen and Hakkasan, but if you choose Dabbous, 25 per cent of proceeds go to the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

Oct 13, 1-4pm and 5-8pm 39 Whitfield Street, W1T 2SF Goodge St, Tottenham Court Rd dabbous.co.uk

STREET THEATRE WATERLOO Street food collective Eat St has teamed up with The Old Vic Tunnels to create a day of eating and entertainment in the darkened catacombs under Waterloo station. Expect stalls serving eclectic food from New Yorkstyle hot dogs to oysters. Chow down and feast your eyes and ears on music, performance art and puppets. Free entry.

FREE

Oct 11, 12pm Unit 19, First Avenue, Brixton Village Market, SW9 8PR Brixton saladclub.wordpress.com/ french-grace

Oct 13, 12-9pm The Old Vic Tunnels, Station Approach Road, SE1 8SW Waterloo, Waterloo East Waterloo, Southwark, Lambeth North londonrestaurantfestival.com

EAT FILM III & IV AT THE GARRISON BERMONDSEY Hosted by local foodies Lady Velo and The Faerietale Foodie, The Garrison will screen classic films in conjunction with a three-course dinner.

THE SCONE CLUB FOR ACTION AGAINST HUNGER MAYFAIR

£25+

INAMO SUSHI CLASSES SOHO ‘Interactive’ sushi restaurant Inamo is gimmicky, with its food and drink menu projected onto the table, from which you order directly at the same time as setting your surroundings’ ‘themes’ and ‘moods’. But sushi is Inamo’s main business. For Restaurant Week, Inamo will host two sushi and sake masterclasses. Learn to make Japanese specialites from the in-house sushi chefs and try a selection of sakes.

Photos: Natalie Tkachuk, Getty, Thinkstock

£40

Oct 2 & 9, 6.30pm 134-136 Wardour Street, W1F 8ZP Tottenham Court Rd, Oxford Circus, Piccadilly Circus inamo-restaurant.com

Oct 11, 6.30pm 99-101 Bermondsey St, SE1 3XB London Bridge, Bermondsey London Bridge thegarrison.co.uk

HIX OYSTER & CHOPHOUSE STEAK DINNER FARRINGDON Mark Hix hosts a meat feast with beef expert Peter Hannan and wine guru John Hutton.

Chomp your way through their favourite cuts. £50

Oct 1, 7pm 36-37 Greenhill Rents, Cowcross Street, EC1M 6BN Farringdon Barbican hixoysterandchophouse.co.uk

British tea company Lalani & Co is hosting an afternoon tea with top UK chefs and food critics to raise money for Action Against Hunger. £25

Oct 6, 3.30pm Pret-A-Diner, The Burlington Social Club, W1S 3ET Piccadilly Circus, Green Park londonrestaurantfestival.com

THE WALLACE GAME DINNER MARYLEBONE A seasonal threecourse game dinner, washed down with biodynamic wine. The meal will include dishes such as wild boar and foie gras terrine with candy capers, and a brioche-crusted loin of hare with rowan berries and black trompettes. The restaurant is set in the Wallace Collection museum. £35

GASTROPUB QUIZ AT THE WELL CLERKENWELL Do you know your pestle from your mortar? Get a team together and put your minds to the test. The Well is one of a number of pubs that will be hosting quizzes.

FREE

Oct 2, 7.30pm 180 St John Street, EC1V 4JY Farringdon Angel downthewell.com

Oct 12, 7.30pm Hertford House, Manchester Square, W1U 3BN Bond St, Marble Arch peytonandbyrne.co.uk

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MYLONDON

K E E P MISSING YOUR

TNT?

ADRIAN DIXON DJ – THE DIXON BROTHERS What baffles me about London is the cost of travel. I remember when you could travel on the bus for 40p, now it’s more than £2 even just for one stop.

London’s best-kept secret is that Londoners secretly like the crap weather.

When I want to chill out I go to Richmond Park – it’s a good place to detach yourself from the daily grind and it feels amazingly peaceful.

The most interesting person I’ve met in London is [radio presenter] David Rodigan MBE. The man is a living legend and epitomises what we’re trying to do with our career. He’s 60-plus years old and doesn’t look like slowing down or letting any of the young pretenders take his spot!

For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat the 20p ice pops from the local sweet shop! Go in with a couple of pounds and proceed to dig around for the best flavours. My personal preference is bubblegum and cola, if anyone is feeling flush and wants to buy me a present.

What gets you up in the morning? My curse is that I come up with some of my best ideas and business moves late at night, so by the time the morning comes my brain is like: “Dude, come on, time to get up and chase the dream.”

My perfect weekend would start off with a bit of Formula 1 on TV followed by a couple of drinks with friends and family in the sun. Lunch at somewhere like Mark Hix’s Tramshed in east London, then maybe if there’s time a quick stop off to pick up a new pair of trainers/sneakers/creps. Then onto the club to show them off whilst rocking a crowd from the DJ booth.

The last naughty thing I did was earlier in the year when we were performing at a well-known festival. This might be naughty or a stroke of genius, but when it came time to take down the tent and trek to the car, we thought it would be best to disregard what the stewards were saying and drive our car straight through the campsite, pack up without breaking a sweat, then drive off smugly to the sounds of the opera on BBC Radio 3.

Five words that sum up London ... fast, eventful, nostalgic, opportunistic, multicultural.

Every Friday at Proud Camden, NW1 8AH proudcamden.com facebook.com/dixonbros; follow on Twitter @dixonbros 12

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C E NT RAL SAINT M A RTINS C OL L E GE OF ARTS & D E SIG N

SHORT C OUR S ES 2012 –13 E V E N I N G, DAY T I M E , S AT U R DAY, W E E K E N D A N D O N L I N E C O U R S ES C H R I S T M A S, E A S T ER A N D S U M M E R S C HO O LS

OV E R 1 0 0 0 C R E AT I V E C O U R S E S F O R B E GINNERS THROUGH TO PROFESSIONALS: ANIMATION ARCHITECTURE BUSINESS SKILLS CERAMICS CREATIVE PROCESS DANCE DIGITAL DESIGN

DRAWING FASHION FILM AND VIDEO FINE ART GRAPHIC DESIGN ILLUSTRATION INTERIOR DESIGN

JEWELLERY JOURNALISM PAINTING PERFORMANCE PHOTOGRAPHY PORTFOLIO PREPARATION PRINTMAKING

PRODUCT DESIGN SCULPTURE TEXTILES THEATRE DESIGN WRITING

P LU S T H E S E C O U R S E S : 13 – 15 YEAR OLDS / 16 - 18 YEAR OLDS / FULL-TIME PORTFOLIO PREPARATION / DUAL CITY SUMMER: MILAN, BARCELONA, PARIS, NEW YORK / ONLINE SHORT COURSES / SEMESTER STUDY ABROAD PROGRAMME / PROFESSIONAL TRAINING SHORT COURSE WEB LISTINGS AND SECURE ONLINE BOOKINGS

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LONDONDRINKS

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THE HART’S BOATYARD

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Sink drinks by the river

BAR THE SCENE An idyllic spot alongside the Thames in sleepy Surbiton where thirtysomethings gather for grazing. Boat carcasses and nautical knick-knacks adorn the tastefully decorated wooden slat walls of the enormous bar and restaurant, while dazzling display cases are packed with a wide range of wines.

There are also log fires on hand for getting cosy after sitting by the river gets a little too nippy.

THE GRUB Fish is a popular choice, and they do chunky steaks and a decent burger.

Vegetarian options are limited to pasta and exotic oddities such as grilled watermelon salad – but, be warned, the prices are on the steep side, so this escape from the city might well be a choice for special occasions only. However, there’s the option of a set menu and a bar bites selection for sharing.

BEHIND THE BAR A cocktail menu for the post-work commuter crowd (on weekdays the drinks are just £4 during the 5-7pm happy hour). Go posh with The Flirtini at £6.95, which combines Smirnoff Black, pineapple and Moët Impérial. There are some interesting guest ales and decent continental lagers as well as the biggest range of rosé wines you’re ever likely to find.

BILL PLEASE Beers from £3.75; cocktails from £5.95; wine from £3.95; mains from £10.95.

VERDICT Staying classy in suburbia with fantastic riverside views. DAN THORNE

Portsmouth Road, KT6 4HL

hartsboatyard.co.uk

COFFEE TASTING

14

OZONE

COFFEESMITHS

THE SUNDAY CLUB

This New Zealand roastery hosts 90-minute tasting events on the first Wed of the month at 6pm in Shoreditch. You’ll even get to take home a bag of beans matched to your personal flavour profile. £25pp.

Monthly coffee-making classes at this shop collective’s venues across central London. Learn the science of the espresso, latte art and how to ‘brew for taste’ in a small group.

One lesson costs £45pp.

The legendary coffee geeks teach weekly classes on cupping (tasting to the uninitiated) and homebrewing in Bethnal Green. Sessions last two hours, are limited to six people and cost £35pp.

ozonecoffee.co.uk

coffeesmiths.co.uk/coffeeschool

df.studio-subsist.com

Photos: Thinkstock

3 OF THE BEST

Surbiton

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BITE SIZE

Surprisingly tasty

MALAYSIAN FOOD MARKET If you fancy a taste of the exotic, head to Trafalgar Square on Friday for Malaysia Night, a free event of arts, fashion and, most importantly, cuisine. There’ll be a raft of stalls serving up authentic treats from 20 of London’s leading Malaysian restaurants, which you can munch on while being serenaded by traditional musicians. If you find you’re really getting a feel for it, you might be in luck – two visitors will win free flights with Malaysia Airlines at the end of the night. From 12pm-10pm. malaysiakitchen.co.uk

SWING AND SAUCE Pretend you’re sophisticated at the Arch Bar’s monthly ‘Gin & Jazz’ evening in Mayfair on October 18, celebrating classic cocktails and the golden age of jazz. Entry is free but you have to reserve a table in advance.

Sample from the 35 different types of gin (though, for health reasons, we wouldn’t recommend trying them all) or sip on a cocktail created especially for the night. Acts on stage include swingin’ band The Shirt Tail Stompers.

Say it with us: niiiice. ginandjazz.com

GET HIGH Head to rooftop venue the Skyroom at London Bridge this week and you’ll find a market serving up London’s finest bites. Indie producers, local growers and gourmet scenesters from Borough Market and Maltby Street will be dishing out cuisine from around the globe, taking in such farflung corners as Peru and Sierra Leone.

SLURP CHINESE/ JAPANESE/ THAI THE SCENE The vibe here is laid back and chilled out, the emphasis on good food and, just as importantly, good times. Long tables with benches make up the majority of the dining, with larger round tables available for big parties. The minimal decor is light, airy and adds to the spacious feel – which is just as well, because when it fills up on a Friday night, the room can be booming, and you’ll be bumping elbows with the person next to you.

THE GRUB Usually, these ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’ menus would have us running for cover, but Slurp circumnavigates this untoward expectation of ours and emerges a tasty, varied treat. We opt for some chicken satay skewers (succulent and cooked to perfection) with chicken gyoza (surprisingly filling), taking in both Japanese and Thai aspects of the menu. For mains, we plump for the seafood ramen, the strong ginger themes complementing the king prawns, squid and greens, and a green chicken curry which is fragrant, layered with aubergine, bamboo shoots and green beans, and which can be cooked to accommodate your palette’s predilection for spice.

Wines are available by the glass and bottle, and are at the affordable end of the spectrum. Sake adds to this breadth of choice, and there’s an impressive bottled beer selection (Sapporo, Asahi, Kirin, Singha, Tiger, Tsingtao). Freshly squeezed juices are also on offer – the Slurp (pineapple, apple, orange and melon) is a refreshing alternative to alcohol.

BILL PLEASE Starters from £3.50; mains from £7. Wine from £2.50 by the glass; sake from £3.95; bottled beer from £2.90; juices from £2.90.

VERDICT The minimal design and bench set up make for a winning and vibrant atmosphere, ideal for groups and parties but just as accommodating for smaller one-to-one evenings. The food, though, is simply superb, full of flavour and with no skimping on the portions either. Heartily recommended. ALASDAIR MORTON BEHIND THE BAR

platterform.com 104-106 Streatham High Road, SW16 1BW

slurprestaurant.co.uk

Streatham

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@TNT GET IT OFF YOUR TEXT

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

Brian May: friend of badgers

Text TNT and your message to

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I hear Megan Stammers’ teacher wooed her into going to France with the promise of a new Dora the explorer pencil case

Hannah Dating a single mother: like continuing ON from someone’s saved game

Declan all the stuff a modern JOGGER has to do beforE LEAVING THE HOUSE: Get changed, stretch, set up a Just Giving page...

Dan I Could never cheat, that would require two people to find me attractive

Liam RIDDLE: It’s a 10-minute walk from my house to the pub. SO WHY IS IT a twohour walk from the pub to my house?

Kevin can’t find Middleton’s boobs anywhere. And I’ve got the pictures!

Marky Mark I hate it when parents ask me who their new baby looks like. It was born two days ago, it looks like a potato

Sally What’s PINK, WRINKLY AND HANGS OUT YOUR PANTS? YOUR MUM

Louise What do pop star Gareth Gates and teacher Jeremy Forrest have in common? they’ve both been fucked by stammers

EMAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO LETTERS@TNTMAGAZINE.COM TEACHER’S PET RE: Teacher Jeremy Forrest and schoolgirl Megan Stammers go on the run in Europe (tntmagazine.com): I hope these two are found and forced to pay the legal and security fees they are costing taxpayers for their incredible irresponsibility.

It’s sad this man was part of the education system, he doesn’t seem to have a single brain cell!

Lara Jones, via Facebook

WHO’S THE PLEB? RE: Andrew Mitchell ‘plebs rant’ (tntmagazine.com): We all have bad days, but we don’t earn a huge salary like he does and we’re not in the public eye. Sack him, he’s a disgrace, he needs to learn his place, and I’m hoping that he will be joining the ever-growing dole queue.

Paul Day, via Google+

jumping into the tiger pen (tntmagazine.com): I sincerely hope the tiger wasn’t harmed because of this stupid individual.

There’s a rumour that this idiot is suing the zoo for not having a sign warning about jumping into tiger cages being hazardous.

Richard Winnington, via Google+

PIGS AND PINTS Enjoyed your real ale article (TNT 1517). Good to hear there’s an Aussie in charge of making London’s beer drinkable. Can’t believe you missed out The Pig and Butcher on Liverpool Road, though. They stock a lot of Camden Town Brewery beers, a bunch of IPAs, and their Sunday roast is the stuff of very, very naughty dreams. Go and check it out now. That’s an order!

Benj, via email

HEALTH HAZARD RE: Man mauled by tiger in the Bronx zoo after

BERLIN /74 LONDON FILM FESTIVAL /30

Megan wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventures.com

YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @sixthformpoet I live every day as if it’s my last. Under a blanket with my eyes closed. @mountain_goats My revisionist Snakes on a Plane movie is just some snakes going on vacation and having an awesome time. @LeeB243 Terry innocent until proven innocent until proven guilty. confused.com

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Nicholas Symes: Re: London clichés (TNT 1517): Wimbo is full of Saffas, Clapham is full of Aussies and Dalston hipsters wearing glasses with no lenses.

Kate Ash: Re: Western Union converts UEFA passes to funds for education (TNT 1517): Excellent.

Lovely to see that footballers can behave as proper role models.

Sam Cooler: Re: ‘plebs rant’: He only shot his big mouth off because our policemen don’t carry guns.

Photo: Getty

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I was shocked to read Frankie Mullin’s article about the badger cull (TNT 1517). It never really occurred to me before that England is so short on wildlife. Not a problem in Aus! But while it does seem mean that so many badgers are to be shot, I have to wonder whether their lives are more important than cows? Seems like an impossible situation, really. No wonder Brian May is so upset. He should write a song.

Megan, via email

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SPOTTED AT THE CHURCH The Clapham Grand Sunday, September 23, 2012 Photos by: Brandt Hurley/ TNT For more Spotted like us on facebook/tntmagazine

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LONDONSOUND

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TEED, the polar opposite of tedious

festival

watch

ALL TOMORROW’S PARTIES 2012

TOTALLY ENORMOUS EXTINCT DINOSAURS O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, W12 8QE

The summer festie season is gone – long gone if you look outside – but there are plenty of events coming up over the next few months to appease fest-loving music-heads. The ATP crew bring this three-day show to Camber Sands in East Sussex this winter, with Brooklynites The National curating.

The line-up includes Wild Beasts, Deerhoof, Menomena, Tim Hecker, Sharon Van Etten and loads more, not least of all a headline performance from the curators themselves (pictured).

Camber Sands Holiday Camp, TN31 7RL. December 7-9. £180 Rye atpfestival.com

WED, OCT 10 | DOORS AT 7.30PM | £14

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, it’s one of the daftest names out there, but main man Orlando Higginbottom’s love of an eye-catching moniker pales in comparison next to his drive for a show that simply stuns.

On record, as this year’s debut Trouble LP showed, the bloke affectionately known by the rather less eye-catching name TEED is a purveyor of song-shaped electro-pop. In the live arena, though, he is truly something else.

Taking to the stage in all manner of outlandish headgear (including, but not limited to, his epic dinosaur spines), TEED favours putting on a show rather than just letting the music do the talking. A typical gig involves dancers, costume changes, confetti and the sort of eccentric exuberance that would leave the likes of The Flaming Lips bowed in admiration.

So far, TEED’s remixed Lady Gaga, worked with Damon Albarn in the Congo, played a vertiginous set from the top of London’s Millbank Tower, and generally wowed everyone with his showmanship, dancefloor nous and striking pop sensibilities.

With a slew of fan fave singles already – Trouble and Garden are not the time to hit the bar – and the kind of devoted following that usually takes longer than one album to build, TEED is a phenomenon in the making.

Shepherd’s Bush

1518 FINAL Lon Sound.indd 20

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28/9/12 16:18:54

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TIM FREEDMAN

NEW BAND

GIG FRI, OCT 5. 7PM £18

The Whitlams’ frontman hits these shores for his first London show in five years, and it promises to be a corker. With last year’s solo album Australian Idle under his arm, he brings his Fireside Chat Tour to town, with plenty of piano-led pop tunes, a healthy dose of cynicism and between-songs storytelling.

Union Chapel Compton Avenue, N1 2XD Highbury & Islington unionchapel.org.uk

LAYO & BUSHWACKA! ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY

TEMPO TANTRUM

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, OCT 6. 10PM-6AM £15+

SAT, OCT 6.10PM-6AM £8

The esteemed duo’s fourth LP Rising And Falling is out later this month and they’re going to get things kicked off in style with this album launch party. Expect new tunes, not to mention a few of the old ones as well. House purveyor and very special guest Richy Ahmed will be joining in with the celebrations, too.

Embracing its new dance and electronic music focus, The Garage plays host to this night of UK bass, beats, dubstep and jungle.

Acts confirmed include Appleblim, Hyperdub’s Cooly G, bass merchant Altered, Natives and dubstep pioneers Horsepower Productions, as well as residents Reza and Xerxes.

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

The Garage 20-22 Highbury Corner, N5 1RD Highbury & Islington tempotantrum.co.uk

THE WINTER OLYMPICS THE BUZZ SO FAR Pieced together bit by bit over the last decade, The Winter Olympics’ debut album, Profit And Loss, is a dance-punk rocker packed full of 10 stadiumready singalong stompers. In this day and age of manufactured instant-slebs and talent show whiners, TWO’s dedication and distinctly DIY approach to their unabashedly ambitious output is something to be celebrated.

THE CRITICS SAY “The entire rock and roll dream in three-and-a-half minutes” – John Kennedy, XFM THE PLUG

Camden Monarch, Oct 4.

40-42 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8BG, Free Camden Town monarchbar.com Profit and Loss out Oct 1 on Freakscene Records.

FLUX PAVILION + DILLON FRANCIS

CARL COX: MENCAP’S BIG NOISE SESSION

RADIOHEAD

GIG

CLUB

GIG

WED, OCT 10. 7PM £14.50

THURS, OCT 4. 9PM-4AM £10+

OCT 8 & 9. 6PM £47.50

Dubstepper Flux Pavilion brings his loud, bombastic and impressively ace show to Camden. After scoring hits with the likes of Bass Cannon last year – Chris Moyles loves it but don’t let that put you off – and finding himself on the BBC’s Sound Of 2012 list, it seems the big time is finally beckoning.

Superstar DJ Carl Cox headlines this charity bash for Mencap. A professional on the decks since his teens, Cox is more than just a DJ – he’s an electronic music one-man institution famed as much for his celebration of life as for his ace tuneage. With a host of hand-picked special guests, this will be a night to savour.

Two things will happen at this rescheduled show: the Oxford-bred indie rockers will challenge you with their defiantly artistic and singular vision for the band, showing they’re creative types intent on pushing guitar music into more abstract territories. Secondly, they will not play Creep… no matter how much you want them to.

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

Electric Brixton Town Hall Parade, SW2 1RJ Brixton electricbrixton.com

The O2 Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 1 Frenchkiss Resident DJs play soul, reggae, R‘n’B, hip-hop, funky house and dance. Storm, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7LE (020 7839 2633).

10.30pm-2am. Free guestlist.

Daphni Album Launch DJ Dan Snaith launches the new album, spinning electronica and psychedelia. The Bussey Building, Rye Ln, SE15 4ST (020 7565 5000). 10pm-6am. £15.

BOOK NOW!

Electrobashy Fridayz Drum ‘n’ bass, hip-hop and R‘n’B courtesy of Orange Hill DJs, The Heatwave, Toddla T, Walshy Fire, Gravy, Seani B, Fonti & Bushkin, Kaptin, Silver Star and Robbo Ranx. The Flyover, Thorpe Close, W10 5XL (07956 406913).

8pm-late. £7, free before 9pm.

Glamorous Afterparty Deep house and electro courtesy of DJs Kaos Kid, Marlon K and Francko Harris. Covert, Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP (020 7820 6757).

5am-11am. £7, w/flyer £6.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

7pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor and guests provide disco, dance, funky house, R‘n’B and reggae.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £2, NHS staff free.

It’s Britney Bitch! DJ Tuomo Fox and special guests spin pop, R‘n’B and chart hits under the watchful eye of MC Patrick Lilley.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5.

Monday Resident DJs provide pop, dance and R‘n’B . Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

Monday Madness DJs Bruno and Jimmy Jam spin pop and carnival classics. Walkabout, Temple, Temple Place, WC2R 2PH (020 7054 8033). 8pm-midnight. £5.

Pacha Rocks Resident DJs supply funky house, dance and pop.

Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 10pm-late. £5, adv £4.

TUESDAY 2.

Candy Boys DJs spin dance and pop. Candy Bar, Carlisle St, W1D 3BJ (020 7494 4041). 7pm-3am. Free.

Chocolate Tuesdays DJs play Latin soul, Kizomba, salsa, reggae, samba and groove to accompany dance classes. Gem, Beak St, W1F 9RA (020 7437 0239). 9pm-1am. £5.

Juicy London DJs Oscar Wildstyle and Wiggie Smalls, Grandmaster Flash, Biz Markie and Just Blaze play a mix of bass, classic R‘n’B and hip-hop tracks. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.15pm. £3, guestlist £2.

Riding High DJ Abi Clarke spins a selection of rare groove, 1980s and 1990s soul, boogie, rock and dub. Vibe Bar, Brick Ln, E1 6QL (020 7247 3479). 7.30pm-11.30pm. Free.

True Tiger, Nu:Tone, Reeps One The five-piece DJ and producer collective provides hip-hop, grime, electro, dance and R‘n’B, with support from Nu:Tone and Reeps One. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/cc 020 7428 5929). 9pm-late. £10, adv £8.

Tuesday Marco and Elle Tiyo spin deep house. The Roadhouse, The Piazza, Covent Garden Market, WC2E 8HB (020 7379 6132).

5.30pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.

22

ADAMSKI PRESENTS NEO-WALTZ Chats Palace, October 6, November 3 and December 1. £10 Rave legend Adamski (above) is behind these nu-waltz club nights – that’s 18th-century waltz music given a 21st-century electronic/punk twist.

E9 6DF

Homerton

chatspalace.com

WEDNESDAY 3 Absolutely Lucky Bengee spins house and techno. Storm, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7LE (020 7839 2633).

10.30pm-2am. Guestlist free.

Cheapskates Indie, house, electro and old-school vibes.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3.30am. W/flyer £4.50.

Factory Afterparty DJs play house, nu-disco, electro and techno. Covert, Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP (020 7820 6757).

1am-8am. £6, w/flyer £4.

Jon Hillcock Presents NME and XFM DJ Jon Hillcock spins rock, indie, post-punk, pop and garage with support from Two Inch Punch.

The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511).

10pm-late. Phone for prices.

Sleaze DJs play pop, disco and dance. The Lockside Lounge, West Yard Dock, NW1 8AF (020 7284 0007). 9pm-late. £3.

Smile Resident DJs play funky house, club classics and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £4, £3 before midnight.

White Leather Viper Club Italo disco and obscure classics courtesy of PoP Campaign and White Leather Viper. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 9pm-3am. Free.

THURSDAY 4 Copperline Alternative, folk, blues and rock ‘n’ roll courtesy of Cook And The Case, Phillious Williams, Like Spinning and Sea Stacks. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706). 8pm-1am. Free.

Cowabunga Presents DJ Billy Clark spins indie, rock and electro. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). 7.30pm. Free.

Detente Resident DJs spin soul and psychedelic music from the 1950s to the 1970s. The Player, Broadwick St, W1F 8HN (020 7494 9125). 8pm-2am. £5, free before 9pm, £3 before 10.30pm.

Love Present DJs Rob Bailey and Chris Dale spin 1960s club soul, ska, Motown, R‘n’B and boogaloo. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482).

10pm-late. £5, free before midnight.

Mencap Presents DJs Carl Cox, Jon Rundell and Charlie Hedges play house and techno. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290).

9pm-4am. Adv £15, early bird £10.

The Moon Hop DJs Colin Young and Chris Martin spin Jamaican, calypso, ska, rocksteady and reggae. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727).

8pm-1am. £3, free before 9.30pm.

Nah Forget The Hill Rise Resident DJs mix dancehall, reggae and bashment. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482).

11pm-late. £5, free before midnight.

Through The Floor DJs Marcus Hjoberg, Christopher John Stancill, Oliver Johnson, Jade Mortimer and James Pogson spin Northern soul, funk and R‘n’B. The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618). 8pm-2am. Free.

Vinyl DJ Screwpulous spins pop hits from the last three decades. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 6pm2am. £3, free before 10pm, mems £2.

FRIDAY 5 Age Of Panic Nineties rock, metal, punk and hardcore with resident DJs. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). 10.30pm-3am. £5.

Cable Presents: Osiris Music Heavy drum ‘n’ bass and garage courtesy of DJs Kryptic Minds, Toast, Biome, North Base, Districts, Sleeper, Thelem, Killawatt, Chahta, C-Side and Levo. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £13.

Circus Records DJs Doctor P, Funtcase, Cookie Monsta, Roksonix, Brown and Gammon spin dubstep and electronica, plus Krafty MC. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). 10pm-5am. £15.

Funkyzeit Present House, dance, techno and electro courtesy of resident and guest DJs including Shlomi Aber, Agaric, Oli Low and Mikali.

Crucifix, Crucifix Ln, SE1 3JW .

11pm-6am. £20, concs £10-£15, see www.residentadvisor.net for details.

Funkin Good Fridays DJ Steve Butcher spins old skool and dance classics. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

The Gallery Presents Hernan Cattaneo, Luis Junior, DJ Tash, Warren East, Paul Pure And Erny N, Owen Westlake, K-Tec Roadshow, Levi Hibbert, Kevin Clash, Subbass and House2House supply house and drum ‘n’ bass. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £14.

Gottwood DJs Rebel, Charlie Banks, eLDOKO, Real Nice, Tristan Da Cuhna, Archie Hamilton and Nixwax spin progressive house, electro, dance and club classics across two floors. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706).

9pm-late. Adv £8 & £10.

The Paris Invasion House, minimal techno and electro courtesy of DJs Popof, Anthony Collins and Greg Brockmann. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm-7am. £20, adv £15, mems/NUS £13.

Plex Techno and electronica courtesy of Arpanet, Donato Dozzy, Mike Parker, Tom Dicicco, Konx-om-Pax, Jimmy Bolus, GluttonFunk, Skunkrock, Luke Handsfree and James Tec. Corsica Studios, Elephant Rd, SE17 1LB (020 7703 4760).

10pm-6am. £15, adv £5-£12.

Rumpus DJs Dr Malaka, CousCous and Fluffy Logic Crew along with resident DJs spin dance, electro, blues, indie, jungle, R‘n’B, hip-hop and rock music across eleven circus and adventure themed rooms. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500).

10pm-6am. Adv £15 & £20.

SATURDAY 6 Bedrock Anniversary DJs John Digweed, Mark Fanciulli, Apparat, Rory Phillips, Al Tourettes, Edu Imbernon, Maxime Dangles, Electric Rescue and John Barber spin house, techno, electronica and dubstep, plus a live set from Amirali. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 10pm-7am. Adv £20.

Be Social The WMK, Luke Currell and Charlie Lawrence spin house, techno and funk. Vibe Bar, Brick Ln, E1 6QL (020 7247 3479).

7pm-1am. £5, free before 8pm.

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Disco Bloodbath Guest DJs Nick Anthony Simoncino, Ben Pistor and Damon Martin spin underground house, nu-disco, electro and dance music. The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511).

10pm-5am. £8, adv £6.

Raindance Meets Moondance Over 75 artists and DJs spin old skool rave, techno, trance, electro and chart classics as part of an epic 10 hour set. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 8463 3070).

9pm-7am. £22.50, adv £20.

Resident DJ Party Funky house and dance courtesy of the residents.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Ride DJs Bruce Wayne, Mayton, Tom Lunn, Sophie Lloyd, Cat Lovers, Million Way, Automation, Arp Attack, Birthday Sex, Tiny Dragons and Stickman Cartel spin house, dance and electro. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-2.15am. £10, £8 before 10pm, guestlist free before 9pm.

Rising And Falling Album Launch Party Layo And Bushwacka spin house and techno with Richy Ahmed, Leading Astray, ElekFun, L Tete, Adam Bloy and Luis Pedregosa. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

10pm-late. £20, adv/mems/NUS £15.

The Ultimate Summer Of Love Old Skool Experience Ibiza Reunion DJs Terry Farley, Philgood And Ram, Huck Hinn and Kenny Redz spin house, old skool and 1980s classics, plus live sets from CeCe Rogers, Tyree Copper and Bridgett Grace. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). 10pm-late. £10.

SUNDAY 7 Brasil Brasileiro DJ Bruno Camargo and Ailton ET spin funk, Latin and house, plus a live set from Zeu Azevedo And Forrodaki. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £5 after 8pm.

Disco Loco DJs Earl Gateshead, Toby Kidd, The Lovely Emily and Reverend Milo Speedwagon spin reggae, plus MC Chu-i and hosts M. Johnny Southside and Daddy Cool. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727). 3pm-6pm. £3.

Filth And Splendour The DJ duo spin house, techno and electro.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Pause DJs spin house, disco, hiphop, chart, funk and Latin. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-6am. £10.

Remote Recordings Jane Fitz provides house and soul. The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339). 6pm-midnight. Free.

S.L.A.G.S / CHILL-OUT Sundays Simon Le Vans, Andy Almighty and Sean Sirrs spin disco, electro and house, plus The D E Experience performs live. Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). 2pmmidnight. £8, £5 before 7.30pm.

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1518 FINAL Club Listings.indd 22

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A SEASON PASS TO THE RAINBOW, BIRMINGHAM Legendary clubbing complex The Rainbow in Birmingham has just announced its autumn and winter line-ups, bringing together the biggest acts in electronic music, including SBTRKT (pictured), Annie Mac, Magnetic Man, Matthias Tanzmann and more.

TNTT has teamed up with Brum’s beloved club to offer one lucky reader two season passes (worth £500) to all of The Rainbow’s events until the end of the year. Applicants must be over 18. More info on line-ups on the web.

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MONDAY 1 Bethlehem, Secrets Of The Moon, Dordeduh Black and dark metal by the band from Grevenbroich, Germany. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £16.50.

BOOK NOW!

The Dead Famous The Londonbased four-piece plays pop-rock and indie. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £7.

Suzie Higgie, Trish Young The Australian singer-songwriter and musician plays acoustica and alternative rock. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £10.

Lady Leshurr The Birminghamborn singer and MC performs a melodic range of hip-hop and R‘n’B with dancehall, pop and soul influences. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £6.

Nas The New York-based rapper performs hip-hop to promote his album Life Is Good. Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £32.50.

Nickelback, Daughtry The Canadian band, known for the hits How You Remind Me and Rockstar, plays hard rock in support of the album Here And Now. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £39.50.

Real Adventures, These Days, Night Life, Swimgood, Apollo Survivor The Guildford-based five-piece plays pop-punk and rock. Surya, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JL (020 7713 6262). £6.

Rival Sons The California-based four-piece plays soulful, bluesinfused hard rock, promoting the album Head Down. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £12.50.

We Are Augustines Indie-rock with an alternative slant by the New York-based three-piece to promote its debut album Rise Ye Sunken Ships. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.50.

Royal Wood, Maeve O’Boyle Pop by the Toronto-based singer-songwriter. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £8.

TUESDAY 2 C2C The turntable group from France performs dance music to promote the album Down The Road. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). Adv £13.50.

The Cranberries Celtic-tinged indie-rock from the group, known for hits including Zombie and Linger. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £35.

Electric Guest The Los Angelesbased duo and its live touring band performs pop-rock and indietronica from the album Mondo. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £10.

Lisa Marie Presley, Ed Harcourt The Memphis-born singersongwriter performs Southern American folk, blues and rock ‘n’ roll. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £29.50.

Electric Empire Funk and soul by the Australian three-piece with connections to both Melbourne and Sydney. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). Adv £10.

Ice Prince Hip-hop from the award-winning Nigerian singer, Panshak Zamani. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £10.

The Enemy, The Clones, Decadent Few Indie-rock by the Coventrybased band. The Grosvenor, Sidney Rd, SW9 0TP (020 7733 1799). £7.

SBTRKT Electronica from the musician. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). Also Fri. £15.

THE KILLERS The O2. Fri, Nov 16. £35+ Solo albums out of the way, the boys are back with new LP Battle Born, and bring their Springsteen-esque US rock to town. Tegan and Sara support.

SE10 0DX

North Greenwich

Fun Pop-rock by the New York-based group, known for the hit We Are Young. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

Aiden Grimshaw The pop singer-songwriter from Blackpool and finalist on the 2010 series of X Factor performs to promote his album Misty Eye. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). Adv £13.50.

Jim Lockey And The Solemn Sun, The People The Poet The Cheltenham-based singer and guitarist leads his group in performing alt folk and country-rock in support of the album Death. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £7.

WEDNESDAY 3 Tori Amos The American singersongwriter and pianist plays classically-influenced alt pop and rock in support of her album Gold Dust. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £42.50 & £55.

Bitter Ruin Alt rock by the Brighton-based outfit. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). Also Thu. £8.

Carmel Alt pop by the band formed in Manchester by Carmel McCourt, Jim Parris and Gerry Darby Islington Town Hall, Upper St, N1 2UD (020 7527 2000). £19.50 & £24.50.

Karima Francis Alt pop from the Blackpool-born singer-songwriter and guitarist. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £9.

Richard Hawley, Lisa Hannigan The Sheffield-born singersongwriter, who was formerly a member of Longpigs and Pulp, plays alternative pop and country from his album Standing At The Sky’s Edge.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £22.50.

theo2.co.uk Vince Kidd Pop and hip-hop singer from London. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £12.50.

Korekyojinn, Charles Hayward, Ruins Songs Ex-Ruin’s frontman Yoshida Tatsuya performs experimental electro rock and psychedelic metal with the Japanese rock band.

Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £12, adv £10.

Lets Talk Daggers The Eastbournebased three-piece plays posthardcore and alt punk. The Black Heart, Greenland Place, NW1 0AP (020 7428 9730). Phone for prices.

Man Like Me The Londonbased two-piece blends dance, pop and hip-hop. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £10.

Triggerfinger The Antwerp-based three-piece plays rock. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). Adv £11.50.

THURSDAY 4 Claudia Aurora The Bristolbased Portuguese singersongwriter performs Fado music. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). Adv £15.

Blu & Excile, Spin Doctor, Kutmah, Chris P Cuts The American rapper and producer join forces once again to play underground hip-hop tracks from their latest album Give Me My Flowers While I Can Smell Them. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £10.

San Cisco, Mt Live Indie-pop by the group from Fremantle, Australia. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £8.

Ray Davies And Band The veteran singer-songwriter and Kinks frontman performs his hits.

Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £45.

English Sporting Defeat Dual guitar-led indie-pop with close harmony singing by the four-piece from Sevenoaks.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £5.

The Temper Trap The Australian quartet plays melodic indie-pop from its self-titled second album.

HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £20.

FRIDAY 5 44 Fires Politically charged and aggressive metal and hard rock four-piece from Middlesex. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £8.

Iggy Azalea The hip-hop artist and rapper from New South Wales, Australia, real name Amethyst Amelia Kelly, promotes her debut album The New Classic. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £14.50.

Charlie Boyer & The Voyeurs Lo-fi, fuzz drenched alternative rock by the singer-songwriter, guitarist and frontman of Electricity In Our Homes with his backing band.

The Sebright Arms, Coate St, E2 9AG (020 7729 0937). £8, adv £6.

Tim Freedman The Australian singer-songwriter and former frontman of The Whitlams plays rock and pop from the album Australian Idle. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £25, adv £18.

Ellie Goulding The award-winning indie-pop, electro-pop and folktronica singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist promotes her second album Halcyon. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/cc 0870 060 3777). £20.

The Lovely Eggs, Shrag, Giant Burger Alt pop by the Lancasterlocated twosome of David Blackwell and Holly Ross.

London Palladium, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (0844 412 2704). £12, adv £10.

While She Sleeps, Bleed From Within, Crossfaith, Polar Hardcore metal from the Sheffield-based five-piece. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £13.

SATURDAY 6 The 2 Bears, Todd Terry The Londonbased duo, which features Hot Chip’s Joe Goddard with musician Raf Rundell, performs electro, indie, garage and dance. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £13.50.

AxeWound British-Canadian metal supergroup, featuring members from Bullet For My Valentine and Cancer Bats. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £15.

Ether 2012: Ghostpoet, Soap & Skin Singer, MC and producer Obaro Ejimiwe performs reflective, electronica-infused leftfield hip-hop. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0871 663 2500 /cc 0844 875 0073). £12.50-£17.50, concs £6.25-£8.75.

The Mend Pop, hip-hop and R‘n’B from the popular Manchester-based fourpiece and Britain’s Got Talent 2012 finalists. Two 8 Six, Lewisham High St, SE13 6JZ (020 8690 7648). £8, adv £5.

Mika Colourful and catchy pop from flamboyant and charttopping Lebanon-born singersongwriter Michael Holbrook Penniman Jr, now based in London, in support of the album The Origin Of Love.

G-A-Y Bar, Old Compton St, W1D 4UR (020 74942756). £5 wristbands.

Maverick Sabre, Ms Dynamite, Daley Contemporary soul, R‘n’B and hip-hop from the London-born Irish singersongwriter, real name Michael Stafford, and his band in support of his debut album Lonely Are The Brave.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £18.50.

SUNDAY 7 Cheryl: A Million Lights Tour Girls Aloud singer and former X Factor judge Cheryl Cole performs pop and dance-pop to promote her album A Million Lights. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £35 & £40.

Da Endorphine Pop-rock by the award-winning actor and lead singer of the successful Thai rock band, Endorphine.

HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £35-£55.

Andy McKee, Preston Reed, Jon Gomm Rock and folk by the Topeka-born guitarist. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £18.50, NUS £16.

Overkill The head-banging fivepiece from America plays thrash metal. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £18.

Serj Tankian The singersongwriter, musician and System Of A Down frontman plays experimental hard rock in support of his album Harakiri. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £24.

Voivod The seminal Canadian outfit plays thrash, progressive and experimental metal. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

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1518 FINAL Music Listings.indd 25

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VIP UK RUMFEST TICKETS & DINNER FOR TWO COURTESY OF RON ZACAPA TNT T has teamed up with Ron Zacapa® to give away two VIP tickets to UK RumFest on Saturday, October 13, and two bottles of Ron Zacapa®, one of the world’s finest and most celebrated spirits which is distilled at altitude in the Guatemalan mountains.

UK RumFest is a tropical paradise for rum lovers at London ExCeL, where visitors can sip, savour and buy the world’s most exclusive rums, taste Caribbean street food and delicious food infused with rum, attend workshops, and much more in an incredible carnival atmosphere.

After RumFest, winners will be whisked away to the lavish Zuma restaurant in Knightsbridge, where they’ll enjoy a special set menu for two and a Zacapa-paired dessert.

For more information or to purchase tickets for UK RumFest from only £20 visit the website.

Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions rumfest.co.uk

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28/9/12 18:00:29

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Tim Freedman The Whitlams’ frontman on his solo tour and new album, Australian Idle, mixing with politicians, and Rolf Harris INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

It’s been five years since your last London show...

I booked this tour three times and pulled out because some things got heavy in Australia.

I can’t believe it’s been so long. I did seven days at Ronnie Scott’s and I should have kept coming over to build it all up, but life got in the way. I have a new album now to add to the old Whitlams’ stuff, so long-term expats will get both. I’ll love the 30 per cent Brit accents at the merch desk.

What sort of show can we expect?

I’ll play songs from all seven albums and I’ll also tell some racy little showbiz vignettes about getting songs on the radio in Australia. One of those involves stumbling into Gough [Whitlam, former Aussie PM after whom the band was named] and [his wife] Margaret’s 65th wedding anniversary with a radio programmer, which was the greatest luck of my lucky, lucky life.

Will your recent solo album Australian Idle be a focus, too?

Absolutely. The engineer of the album just got nominated for Engineer of the Year in the ARIAs [Australian Recording Industry Association Music Awards]. It’s between him and Gotye apparently, so I’ll see how the songs sound without a wellengineered soundscape – just me and the piano.

Photos: Stephen Baccon

How about your Two Little Boys cover?

I was asked to do a version when Rolf [Harris] was inducted into the ARIA Hall of Fame a few years ago. My version is so different to his that I hope it stands on its own. Rolf is a force of nature – I love him and everything he’s done.

How will the show compare to your recent seven nights with an orchestra at the Sydney Opera House?

The Union Chapel show will be just me on stage. The [Opera House] Concert Hall under the sails was 90 people [the Sydney Symphony Orchestra], some of whom had been playing their instruments since they were in the womb.

Composer Peter Sculthorpe’s arrangements were lavish and surprising and there was a grand piano in the dressing room. I got to annoy all these classical musicians, and sit in the middle of that grandiose sound. It was like being hit in the head with a velvet hammer.

Pop and politics: Tim chills out

What are the benefits of taking to the stage as a solo performer?

There’s a better margin. Less and better wine.

Better company. It’s all good.

Eternal Nightcap has also been voted the 17th best Australian album of all time – how does this recognition sit with your early aspirations as an artist?

No one dreams of such recognition, but luckily, life can surprise. I am indeed proud of the accolade, it means the songs moved people.

Triple J in Australia played so many songs from the album that it became a soundtrack to an era for many people.

Does it feel like an album from a different time now?

The album was about how much friends mean to each other. I still write about that, but when you’re in your twenties it has so much more drama than later in life. It all seemed so damn irrevocable.

What has been the strangest gig you have ever done?

Gough’s 85th birthday party, though that was strange in a good way. I got a loan from [Australian politician] Graham Richardson, a threat from [former Prime Minister] Paul Keating and a kiss from [Leader of the House] Anthony

Albanese. There was the 1972 cabinet, youth, truth, beauty, red hair, no hair, awkwardness and impunity all in one room [he paraphrases his hit No Aphrodisiac]. Unfortunately [former Deputy PM] Dr Jim Cairns had already left the building.

What has been your weirdest on-stage moment?

Half the stage collapsed once. Stevie [Plunder, original Whitlam who died in 1996] emerged from the ruins and said: “It’s just a bad stage I’m going through.” We had to give him that one.

What’s the most common misconception about life as a musician?

They ask: ‘What do you do all day?’ They seem to think it’s the only trade in which you don’t need to do research and development. Also, they think we get laid a bit. It’s actually all the time.

Which new artist has most impressed you recently?

Alpine, a new Melbourne band, and Kimbra’s solo stuff away from the big Gotye song, too.

[Folk and blues singer-songwriter] Emma Russack is extremely impressive – she’s assured and silky. Very silky.

Tim Freedman: The Union Chapel. Oct 5. 7pm Compton Avenue, N1 2XD unionchapel.org.uk Highbury & Islington

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Elizabeth ‘the talented’ Olsen and Josh ‘Ted’ Radnor

LIBERAL ARTS FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Josh Radnor, Elizabeth Olsen, Richard Jenkins | 12A | 97mins

TAKEN 2 FILM STARRING: Liam Neeson, Maggie Grace, Famke Janssen | 12A | 91mins

Liam Neeson is back as the world’s most intimidating father, a one-man CIA-trained army who you definitely do not want to cross. Sadly, yet another group of kidnap-happy foreigners learn this the hard way and end up feeling the wrath of Ireland’s famous son.

Seriously, this is a man who punched a wolf – in another movie, admittedly – but still, don’t mess with him!

On general release from October 4

28

Ted from How I Met Your Mother’s sophomore filmmaking outing – as writer and director – is a decidedly sweet and astute comedy-drama.

Radnor is Jesse, an academic and bookworm struggling with how his life has turned out as a college admissions clerk. Asked by his favourite professor to return to the grounds of his educational enlightenment for the teacher’s retirement, Jesse finds himself smitten with Elizabeth Olsen’s 19-year-old student Zibby, who reinvigorates his lust for life and opens up a few home truths for him, too.

An acting-your-age rather than coming-of-age tale, it offers insights into the anxieties of the teen finding themselves in the world, the 35-year-old wondering where his youth, and all its promise, has gone, and the retirement-facing academic (Richard Jenkins), who’s worried he may have become institutionalised and won’t have a place in the world outside of academia.

The performances are top notch: Radnor is subtle but with depth, perhaps resulting from an obvious personal affinity with the story, and Olsen is stunning, proving herself an adept, engaging actress with real screen presence. Jenkins, too, excels as the professor having second thoughts about calling time on his career.

But for all the solid writing and performances, it lacks a little creative sparkle behind the camera. Radnor emerges confident and assured with his actors and the script, but he’s a little less effective in bringing it all to life visually. When the aforementioned are both so strong, though, this is a minor gripe.

GOOD FOR: Learning how to act your age, whatever age you might be.

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GIVE US A

TONY LAW: MAXIMUM NONSENSE

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

This Canadian surrealist brings his Edinburgh Comedy Award-nominated show to London for a brief, whatever-you-do-don’t-miss-it run.

Oddball, obtuse, deliriously unconventional, yet accessible and, most importantly, very funny, Law’s take on stand-up and what it can and should be is truly unique. Don’t miss out here.

Ha ha!

Photos: Johan Persson

Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Oct 4-6. £12.50 Oxford Circus sohotheatre.com

MARILYN MONROE: A BRITISH LOVE AFFAIR

THREE SISTERS

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

The world’s most famous blonde – sorry Madge and Gaga – is the focus of this photography exhibition that pulls together portraits of Norma Jeane by British photographers. As well as images of Monroe from 1947 to 1962, there are also rare film stills and magazine covers from her time as the biggest star the world had seen.

Aussie Benedict Andrews’ unorthodox adaptation of Chekhov’s 1901 classic – about three sisters longing for a return to their beloved Moscow – is moving, different (this production boasts a remote controlled helicopter and the symbolic dismantling of a set that takes over a whole scene), but engrossing.

National Portrait Gallery St Martin’s Place, WC2H 0HE. Until Mar 24.

Free Charing Cross npg.org.uk

Young Vic 66 The Cut, SE1 8LZ. Until Nov 3. £10+ Waterloo youngvic.org

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER

HEDDA GABLER

FILM

THEATRE

Emma Watson continues life after Hogwarts with this US-set high school drama, about three kids struggling with life, love and belowaverage grades. It’s not a massive move away from Hermione, although set in a very different school, but with roles in Seth Rogen’s upcoming apocalypse comedy and Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, she’ll be past these characters soon.

Faced with a future of relentless tedium in a joyless marriage, Hedda’s (Sheridan Smith) destructive instincts resurface – initially in spiteful insults and then something far more tragic in this darkly humorous 19th-century domestic drama. Legally Blonde star Smith is on impressive form.

On general release Oct 5

Old Vic The Cut, SE1 8NB. Until Nov 10. £11+ Waterloo oldvictheatre.com

PETE SHENTON What’s the show about? It’s about building a community spirit in order to engage in war, specifically about a petty conflict between two villages over the re-naming of a train station, which is very loosely based on a true story we found out about in a village newsletter.

What was your first time on stage like? In a school play at the age of 12, I played Prince Charming in the style of Adam Ant. I led the audience in a rendition of the hit song of the same name. My recollection is that it was truly excellent, though there is no proof either way. I wore makeup to school the next day and was sent to the headmaster’s office by the PE teacher, where I made an impassioned and fruitless plea for boys to be allowed the same rights to self expression through the appliance of cosmetics as girls.

Smash the state, etc…

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen this week? A zebra trying to drown a lion.

New Art Club: Quiet Act Of Destruction Soho Theatre, 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Oct 2-13, 9.15pm (not Sun/Mon) £12.50 Oxford Circus

sohotheatre.com

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(Clockwise from top) Argo; Great Expectations; Hyde Park On Hudson; Rolling Stone´s Crossfire Hurricane

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London’s reel party With a new Aussie director and a superstar line-up, the London Film Festival is making a pitch to attract a broader audience WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

The 56th annual BFI London Film Festival will launch next week with a few improvements courtesy of its new director, Aussie Clare Stewart, who’s been in the UK for a year after heading up the Sydney Film Festival for five. The LFF is looking to flaunt its shiny new style and appeal to a wider audience than ever before based on Stewart’s shake up of the programme, venues and target audience. She tells TNT the festival is also eager to capitalise on the momentum brought by the Olympics over the past year.

“One of the things I love about what we have just seen happen in London is this incredible, galvanising energy – the idea of success has become fashionable again, and that’s really good for festival culture and for the film industry,” Stewart says. “We are looking forward to riding the curve of that glorious wave.”

Rather than setting up camp in the West End, as in previous years, the LFF has widened its focus to the city as a whole, with events and screenings throughout London and even further afield.

“We’re taking two extraordinary films out to audiences,” Stewart enthuses. “We’re opening with Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie, which has its European premiere at Leicester Square, before going out via satellite across the UK to 13 screens and the BFI IMAX.” Burton will also be in London to walk the red carpet and give an extended introduction to the film.

“We’re doing the same with Crossfire Hurricane, which marks 50 years of the Rolling Stones,” adds Stewart. “And we’ve got the Stones on the red carpet, quite a coup after they were rumoured for the Olympics closing ceremony.”

London’s cultural heart has moved east in recent years, and the Games brought the sporting world‘s attention to Stratford. The LFF has mirrored this eastwards sprawl with its new line-up of venues.

“London is a very unique city and the festival has always enjoyed a terrific axis between the commercial movie-going heartland of Leicester Square and the hub of the BFI, Southbank, but this year we are expanding out to more venues across London,“ Stewart says. ”For a number of years there has been a cultural growth in London’s East End, and so it’s timely for us to be introducing new east London venues, such as the Hackney Picturehouse and Rich Mix.” As well as opening its doors to the city, the festival’s

programme has seen a shake up, too. One of its unique selling points has always been its public screening programme, which shows new films – some not out for months – to the movie-loving public as well as the industry.

A new way of labelling film genres will make it easier for punters to choose what kind of movie they’re walking into – Love, Dare, Laugh, Experimental, Thrill, Cult, Journey, Family and Sonic are categories that now shape the event, along with a new Debate banner for issues-based titles.

“Film festivals are a context in which to discover films that create controversy and debate, which is why it’s good we have a section highlighting works doing just that,“ Stewart says, adding that along with the festival’s mainstream and art house sensibilities, it aims to provoke conversation.

Calls of ‘biggest festival yet’ are hard to argue with.

“

We’re expanding to venues across London

”

Other gala premieres include Ben Affleck’s Argo, the new adaptation of Dickens’ Great Expectations and Bill Murray’s Hyde Park On Hudson. There will also be 12 flicks in official competition for best film, and works vying for documentary and first feature awards. Add to that the short films and talks, featuring Marion Cotillard and Salman Rushdie, whose screen writing debut Midnight’s Children is showing.

Leading the charge for Stewart’s home country is the audience-wowing Australian musical The Sapphires.

“I was fortunate to see its premiere at Cannes, which was really exciting as it got a standing ovation,“ Stewart says.

“I’ve just celebrated a year in London and there couldn’t be a more perfect film for me – great comedy man Chris O’Dowd brings the UK side, then there’s the supremely talented [Australian] Jessica Mauboy, and I’m so proud to be introducing it.”

OUR PICKS OF THE FESTIVAL ›› The 56th BFI London Film Festival. October 10-21.

Various venues bfi.org.uk

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(Clockwise) Beasts Of The Southern Wild; Sightseers; The Reluctant Fundamentalist

LONDON FILM FESTIVAL: TNT’S MUST-SEES Gala pick: Frankenweenie

First feature pick: Beasts Of The Southern Wild

Tim Burton was dismissed from Disney as a twentysomething animator because he was too weird, his then Frankenweenie short in particular displeasing his mouse house bosses. Now, though, they’re falling over themselves to work with him.

This feature-length black and white, goth-horror tale about a boy who reanimates his dead dog is Burton and Disney’s first full collaboration. It’s loaded with horror homages, coming-of-age highs and lows, and Burton’s own brand of oddball eccentricity – its small town Americana setting echoes that of his breakout hit Edward Scissorhands.

The universally celebrated debut from Benh Zeitlin is a visually arresting, emotionally charged and wildly creative movie that is, truly, unlike anything else you’ve seen before.

It tells the story of a six-year-old girl living in poverty in a remote southern village in the US, who has an absent mother and a booze-hound father. Her life is thrown into further disarray when a storm ravages her home town and floods everything she knows (and unleashes a slew of the title’s beasts, released by the melting of the ice caps, obviously).

Australian pick: The Sapphires

British filmmaker Ben Wheatley’s hitman thriller Kill List, about one man’s ‘final job’ and his descent into madness, was one of the most devastating flicks of recent years – a bit of a downer, you could say. His next installment keeps the violence and bloodshed going but throws in some genuine chuckles, making an unlikely marriage of horror and comedy.

Put it this way: a pair of brightly dressed caravanners embark on a relentless killing spree.

A standing ovation greeted this crowd pleaser upon its May premiere at the Cannes Film Festival. With the hottest funnyman around in Chris O’Dowd and Aussie singing sensation Jessica Mauboy, this musical drama – about the titular girl group who start making waves in the 1960s before being sent off to Vietnam to entertain the troops – has heart, soul and humour. It’s based on a real life story and if you’re after a film that will leave you giddy with glee and sporting a massive smile wrapped across your face for days, then there’s no need to look any further. Happiness guaranteed.

Laugh pick: Sightseers

Debate pick: The Pervert’s Guide To Ideology

Dare pick: The Reluctant Fundamentalist

Already a hit: The Sapphires

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This challenging film follows the path of a young man as his life veers between his current glittering career as a monied New York stockbroker (everything his father and family despise) and the cultural pull of his home thousands of miles away in Pakistan. Set both before and after the events of September 11, 2001, and exploring the ensuing hate, fear and prejudice that altered the world, Mira Nair’s film stars Riz Ahmed (Four Lions), Kiefer Sutherland and Kate Hudson.

Photos: Johan Persson, Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc, Cinereach Ltd

Angry and impassioned intellectual Slavoj Žižek gets a follow up to his A Pervert’s Guide To Cinema and takes a look at how movies can support and, just as readily, trash prevailing ideologies about the world we live in. John Carpenter’s They Live, Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight, James Cameron’s Titanic and old-time classic The Sound of Music, naturally, all come in for consideration and criticism. The modern world as seen through the prism of Žižek’s incisive mind.

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Tickets available online - tntmagazine.com/halloween

PARTY £10

Saturday October 27 7.30pm till late Venue in London to be confirmed.

Best Dressed Competition DJ Entertainment Drink Specials

Book your £10 VIP Travel Show Ticket now and your Halloween Party ticket will be FREE.

The Official After Party TNT_1518_edit.indd 33

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SPARETIME

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Various Artists: This Is BBC 6 Music Live

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Rocksmith xBox

Next-gen guitar game where you can plug a real guitar in and learn while you play. £54.99 play.com

CD

The Killers and Elbow are among the stars on this studio sessions compilation. £10.99 play.com

NBA 2K13 Muse: The 2nd Law

Wii

The latest basketball game in the long-running series. £27.99 amazon.com

CD

The Devon trio are back with their bombastic (probably) new album. £9.99 tesco.com

Fruit Monkeys App

Grab a bunch of fruit before your simian counterpart is pushed off the vines.

Free play.google.com

Miranda Hart: Is It Just Me? eBook

The comedian on the perils of adulthood, and whether she is the only one who is experiencing them. £14.49 play.com

Plants vs Zombies App

Zombies are about to overrun your house, so you defend it with ... plants. Dumb but spectacular fun. £1.99 itunes.apple.com

Jamie Oliver: 15 Minute Meals Book

With oodles of recipes for the short on time and hardworking among us, there are no excuses for not cooking anymore. £19.99 amazon.co.uk

Pac-Man and Ghost Racers Gadget

Radio controlled PacMan entertainment. £29.99 play.com

Snow White And The Hunstman

LED Umbrella

DVD

Gadget

The fairy tale adaptation that ended Stewart and Pattinson. £9.99 amazon.com

With light up LEDs so you can be spotted in the rain, and play Jedi, if you wanted. £15.99 iwantoneofthose.com

Moonrise Kingdom DVD

Quirky, surprisingly funny and heartwarming US indie comedy, with Edward Norton and Bruce Willis. £11.99 play.com

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App of the Week Art Studio iPad app

With hordes of features and editing tools for iPad image creation and manipulation.

Simple and detailed. £2.99 itunes.apple.com

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Buy pieces from LCF alumni D’Squared men’s shirt Are you man enough to pull off pink? This smart shirt is made from 97 per cent cotton – hence the price tag.

Numph @ surfdome.com owl sweatshirt You’ll be bang on trend wearing this feathery fella.

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Photos: Getty

The London College of Fashion is reviving its popular ‘College Shop’ pop-up this month. The cutting-edge style fest had a successful run last autumn and returns for two weeks to offer one-off creations by the LCF’s hotshot alumni. Launching on October 18, find it on the ground floor of Kingly Court, a hub of indie boutiques just off Carnaby Street. Seek out pieces from hot young designers including Ada Zanditon, known for her elegant womenswear, as well as edgy London Collections menswear stars Joseph Turvey and Domingo Rodriguez, and last year’s top sellers, celebrated womenswear designer Para Manko and fashion illustrator Rosie McGuinness. If you’re looking for pieces that will stand out from the crowd, you’ll almost certainly find them here – everything on the rails represents up-and-coming, unique style.

OPEN Mon-Wed; Fri-Sat 12pm-7pm; Thur 12pm-8pm; Sun 12pm-6pm facebook.com/lcfcollegeshop Kingly Court, behind Carnaby Street, W1B 5PW Oxford Circus; Piccadilly Circus

.09

Think pink

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Fuschia flats Pretty up your feet with these cute pumps. tribecashoes.co.uk

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Board Angels wedge wellies Bargain rain boots with a feminine feel. mandmdirect.com

Converse duffel Brighten up your next overnighter. usc.co.uk

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Pineapple glasses See the world through rosy spectacles. opticalise.com

Birdcage umbrella The rainy season has started.

Don’t get caught out. fultonumbrellas.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

SQUASH CLUB If you’re looking for an express workout that challenges your muscles, movement and speed – squash is it. Games are a mere 40 minutes long, but during that time you’ll be begging your opponent for mercy, as we were the last time we played. The rules are simple: use all four walls to hit the ball against, and when your opponent lets it double bounce, you get a point. Easy, right? Not so much.

This high-speed racquet sport burns an estimated 500 calories every 30 minutes and combines lunges with sprinting, powerful swings and core movement, plus the competitive among us will find it hugely addictive. Finsbury Leisure Centre offers four courts for ‘pay and play’ sessions, Monday-Friday 7am-9.20pm. Alternatively, amp up your game by getting some tips and advice on techniques, plus a fresh squash partner every week at their Club Night on Fridays 6-9pm.

A 40-minute game for two people costs £10.50 or £8.50 with membership (£50 per year).

Meanwhile, court bookings are discounted on Club Night to £4.50 for everyone. Bargain.

Norman Street, EC1V 3PU aquaterra.org Old Street

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Breast is best Dance around like a tit in London this month to help the cause of breast cancer awareness WORDS JADE BREMNER

The whole of October is entirely dedicated to boobs. Londoners will be looking at them, feeling them, and dancing around dressed as them, all in aid of a great cause – Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Perhaps most eye-catching will be the flash mob of dancers preparing to descend on St Christopher’s Place, just off Oxford Street, clad in boobie costumes – complete with giant nipples – on October 18.

CoppaFeel! is the brilliant charity behind the event, and it’s urging you to join them for a boobie boogie, with an instructional video online helping you learn the moves.

CoppaFeel! also has a lovely bunch of ambassadors on board (who similarly love boobies and want to spread breast cancer awareness). Dannii Minogue, Fearne Cotton and Dermot O’Leary have been involved with previous events and could well be hiding under a boob costume on the day.

The charity’s message is for 18-30-yearolds in the UK, and reminds us that checking our boobs is fun and could save lives. “I discovered a lump while moisturising and thought it was strange,” says Londoner Toral Shah, who was 29 when she got breast

cancer. “My GP didn’t take me seriously because I was so young,” she adds. “It took another six weeks for me to be diagnosed.”

Shah is one young woman who’ll be getting into the spirit of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. She’ll be supporting the cause by joining the millions around the country who are dressing up and donating £2 to the Wear It Pink Day. Shah says that while breast cancer is often thought to affect older women, our generation should be cautious and do regular checks.

Dee Momi discovered she had breast cancer at age 30 when she was travelling around the world and working on a boat.

“I put the news on Facebook straight away,” explains Momi, who was shocked and angry at the news. “My friends commented, ‘but you’re so fit and healthy’.” In Momi’s case there was a genetic link to the disease.

Her mother had suffered from the condition and died aged 37.

In a bid to warn others of the risks, Momi is taking part in the Breast Cancer Care Show at Grosvenor House this month. The spectacular event will feature 24 survivors

Campaign: Toral Shah and a Playboy bunny 36

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LOOKING GOOD

Sranrom Hair & Body Wash Perfect for on-the-go guys £12 sranrom.co.uk

CoppaFeel! flash mob mass boobie dance will turn heads modelling on the catwalk, plus performances

by Britain’s Got Talent finalists Flawless and singer Jonathan Ansell.

If the above events aren’t titillating enough for you, try the London Playboy Club in Mayfair. The venue is going pink for the month and raising money for breast cancer charity The Haven.

Bunnies will be changing their ears from white to pink for the cause and are serving up special ‘pink lady’ cocktails. That’s one way to enjoy a few jugs, eh?

Photos: Breast Cancer Care, CoppaFeel, Breast Cancer Campaign, Getty

PINK EVENTS THIS MONTH Breast Cancer Care Show: Oct 3, Grosvenor House, W1K 7TN breastcancercare.org.uk CoppaFeel!: Oct 18, St Christopher’s Place, W1U 1LT coppafeel.org Wear It Pink: Oct 26 breastcancercampaign.org Pink Playboy Club London: Open 24 hours during Oct. Old Park Lane, W1K 1ND thehaven.org.uk

Invigorating massage

TITTY TRIVIA ✓ The world’s biggest boobs are a whopping 38KKK. Sheyla Hershey from Brazil holds the, erm, gongs.

Back-Combing Brush Give your locks body and style £9.05 kentbrushes.com

✓ Men can get breast cancer, too. And although fewer men are prone to the disease, they should also check for lumps.

Even more surprising, however, is some men have the ability to breast feed, though they’re more likely to lactate if they’ve undergone hormone treatments. ✓ As women get older their bra size gets bigger. That’s because as they age, milk glands and collagen levels shrink and are replaced by fat. Nice.

Gold Crystal Face Mask 24k collagen mask with vitamin E £37.50 jamelaskincare.co.uk

✓ England as a nation has bigger boobs than any other country in Europe. Score.

TOP TREATMENT: TABLE SHOWER Get massaged, scrubbed and showered all at the same time with this new treatment from Red Lotus Spa. Using the concept of hydrotherapy to refresh, hydrate and give you energy, this relaxing session lasts for an hour. As opposed to regular massages, being sprayed down with soothing hot water should make you unwind a lot quicker than usual, and therefore maximise your massage.

A table shower costs £120 or £100 with a copy of this mag until October 8.

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Smiling in class: these cute kids didn’t get the memo

Teaching in China The superpower is screaming out for native English speakers and those who take on the challenge don’t regret it WORDS JADE BREMNER Let’s not entirely mislead you, rocking up in China does come with its quirks.

It can be a daunting place: the cities are jam-packed and claustrophobic; it feels like everyone is shouting at you (Mandarin is a tonal language); and if you can’t read what you’re ordering you’ve a good chance of ending up with stomach or intestines for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

However, get past China’s bizarrities and this fascinating culture, not to mention the stunning landscape, offers a wealth of opportunities. London may be cursed with a severe job shortage, but China is in real need of native English speakers. Smart graduates are combining their desire to travel with work experience in the Far East, and they’re getting paid… lots.

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Michelle Fawdon, 27 “I meet wonderful, gorgeous children with squidgy cheeks who want to learn,” gushes Fawdon, a 27-year-old Brit who is teaching for Kid Castle Educational Corporation in Shanghai and gets paid about CNY150 (£14.60) per hour.

She is one of hundreds of graduates who have found the UK’s job market hard to penetrate, but had no trouble when it came to finding work in a primary school in China.

“The requirements to teach in China are simple, experience is preferred but not entirely necessary, but you must have a degree or higher for visa purposes,” Fawdon says.

“There are gorgeous skyscrapers and endless business opportunities here,”

she continues, explaining that many people use teaching to get a foot in the door of the country before pursuing other careers (as, once in China, it’s an opportunity to meet and network with other professionals).

The intriguing culture and high standard of life for expats means teachers often stay. Fawdon explains: “As a woman, you can go out every night and get home safely. I have never felt threatened here.”

Adam Frost, 31 “Living here can be as cheap or as expensive as you like,” says 31-year-old Frost, from the US, who works at Shanghai Jiao Tong University and is paid approximately CNY30,000 per month (£2930). Frost finds his wage

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Teach English as a Foreign Language!

Join our Global Community of (TEFL) Teachers

ON THE JOB HAIKEL JAOUADI CAREER Butler with Evolve Hospitality AGE 40 LIVES Pinner, London

▼ ▼ ▼

Recruiting now for the following countries!

China Thailand Saudi Arabia

Great packages.

Call today!

01423 623300

****Join

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Keith Curran

as a uni teacher decent WHERE TO START Love compared with the cost TEFL offers a free teaching Curran, from the US, of living. qualification, plus free set up a private Public transport flights, accommodation language school 12 is cheap, between and a monthly pay packet years ago in China and CNY1-10 (less than 1p), of £600 (or £700 with places teachers all over and apartments start subsidised flights and the country. But while from around CNY500 accommodation). Anyone more and more people per month (£50) for with a degree is eligible are venturing to this something basic to fly out to an Asia-based compelling nation, he out in the sticks, to school including Chinese believes there’s still an CNY4000+ (£400) per cities Shanghai, Beijing, inaccurate stigma month for a bit of cityChongqing or Chengdu. It’s attached to it. based luxury. an experience that “builds “It’s not the However, Frost warns confidence and sets you up threatening place our against taking on your for a career in teaching,” media often portrays,” first teaching position explains Ian O’Sullivan from Curran, the CEO of in rural China.

Love TEFL. See lovetefl.com Journey East, explains. ”There’s more of a “It’s a rather peaceful culture shock in smaller towns, and nation coming to terms with the a likelihood you’ll be bored and get consequences of a rapidly developing the odd dodgy belly,” he says. “Plus, economy.” smaller city jobs will promise the world Teaching in this part of the world is and potentially not deliver. hugely satisfying, Curran points out.

“In a new country where you don’t “Teachers are well respected. Education speak the language or understand is very important to families, they will contracts, you can get bluffed or budget upwards of 80 per cent of their bullied into an uncomfortable work income towards their child’s education situation.” These contracts may include needs.” With a population of too many hours, not enough money or 1.3 billion people bad lodgings. all keen to get NEXT WEEK “Once you’re here for a while, you ahead, there are can venture out to lesser-known areas plenty of Working as a with a bit of experience and knowledge students to nanny or aupair under your belt,” he advises. go around.

How did you get into your line of work?

I helped my brother working in a cafe after school when I was younger, and I knew from the first day that hospitality was what I wanted to do.

I registered with Evolve when I was between roles. I’ve been working with them for nearly a year now.

What do you do day-to-day?

Usually my day starts with a big mug of coffee! I’m mostly responsible for setting up lunch functions for VIP guests, including celebrities. I work at venues such as The Ritz, where we sometimes receive royalty, so everything has to be perfect.

The best part of your job?

I love to see my guests delighted.

That makes me so happy!

What’s the most challenging?

The occasional early morning. evolvehospitality.co.uk

HOW TO...

GET A PAY RISE You reckon you deserve a pay rise. Here’s how to ask.

• Book a time to discuss it. Think about what time of day is least stressful so you can catch your boss in a good mood.

• Prepare what you’re going to

say beforehand. You’ll need to make a good case. In what ways are you indispensable?

What have been your key achievements?

• Research the going rates for

your role so that your request isn’t unrealistic.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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tntjobs.co.uk PINES AND NEEDLES T: 0845 458 2788 www.pinesandneedles.com London’s leading and friendliest Christmas tree company with stores across the Capital.

LIVE INNOVATIONS T: 07803 554971 www.liveinnovations.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Marketing and Logistic Administrators & Customer Service Administrators Location: Wembley HA9 7NE Salary: £7 per hour plus bonus We’re looking for outgoing and confident people with good IT skills and excellent communication to help us maintain outstanding customer service in our friendly office.

For marketing, experience of Twitter & Facebook is an advantage.

Adela Lyle | 0845 458 2788 | 07585 976 386 | recruitment@pinesandneedles.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Entry Level Advisor Location: Southeast, London Salary: OTE: Up to £350/week

Live Innovations, premier outsourced sales and marketing company.

We grow a client’s customer base without compromising on quality.

NEW CAREER? Outsourced marketing company needs people with great communication skills who can work in a fun, fast paced environment to help with all areas of our business.

THE CINNAMON CLUB

JOB OF THE WEEK: Waiter/ess - Award Winning Restaurant Group Location: Central London Salary: £16-17,000 per annum

T: 020 7628 4926 www.cinnamonclub.com In the heart of Central London, The Cinnamon Club opened in 2001, revolutionising the way Indian cooking is viewed in the UK and pushing the boundaries even further.

MJR TOM

Harley Adams | 07803554971 | info@liveinnovations.co.uk

Waiter positions have become available within an award winning restaurant group renowned for its innovative Indian cuisine. Enthusiastic individuals who have good command of English language, a great attitude and customer focused service skills are required. Successful candidates need to have previous experience in a similar role. jobs@cinnamonclub.com

T: 020 8944 9698 www.mjrtom.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Hawkers and Promoters needed!

Location: London & Nationwide Salary: £6.81-£15

MJR TOM is a full service catering & marketing agency who is always looking for great people to join our team!

The job involves: Serving draft & bottled beverages, food & ice creams from backpacks and mobile carts at major sports & music events and festivals. Brand promotions at pubs and clubs. Full training provided.

Cavell Henry | 020 8944 9698 | recruitment@mjrtom.com

SILVERBACK EVENTS T: 0844 5617939 T: 07595021939 www.silverbackuk.com Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Crew Member Location: London (All Areas) Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours, Applicants must speak fluent English. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner.

Jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

REDFIN

JOB OF THE WEEK: Finance Manager Location: Putney Bridge Salary: Negotiable

www.redfin.co.uk RedFin offers an extensive range of Finance, Human Resource, and IT advice to Media and Marketing Communications businesses.

PR agency in Putney is looking for an experienced Finance Manager with HR experience and excellent microsoft excel and word skills.

The position will be 3/4 days per week.

Please email your CV now for an interview | julie@redfin.co.uk

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tntjobs.co.uk RAINFOREST CAFE T: 020 7434 3111 www.therainforestcafe.co.uk How about a working environment that is literally ‘green’, where serving food is not just about getting plates from a to b, but about creating theatre and a little bit of magic for children of all ages .

ENZO T: 020 8896 0362 www.enzo-beauty.co.uk A winning formula of artistic and business flair, has helped us to build an enviable reputation for excellence in cutting-edge styling, creative colouring and customer care.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Waiting & Bar Staff Location: Shaftesbury Avenue, London Salary: TBA Your role will involve creating theatre and a little bit of magic for children of all ages.

If this appeals to you, don’t be misled we do want professional highly skilled waiting and bar staff, but with a difference, a fun and energetic personality is a must!

If you interested please come to our Open Day on Tuesday 9th October 2012, between 2pm to 6pm.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Senior Hair Stylist Location: London, Acton Town Salary: on application We are looking for senior stylist with great knowledge of colouring and cutting. This position would be ideal for someone who has experience in working in busy salons and has great understanding of excellent customer service. Good attitude towards working under stress. You must be able to maximise sales and performance of the salon, this role is an excellent opportunity to become a supervisor.

Shioban | info@enzo-beauty.co.uk | 020 8896 0362

ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week

Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses!

Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

RECOVRE

JOB OF THE WEEK: OT, Physio, Pyschologist, Rehab Counsellor Location: Various locations around Australia!

Salary: To be negotiated based on experience.

T: 0061 38689 4 www.recovre.com.au

John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

Recovre provides specialist solutions to help manage the health of workforces, businesses and injured persons throughout Australia.

Are you an OT, Physio, Psychologist or Rehab Counsellor & want to come back home to Oz? We have roles throughout Australia, and are offering successful candidates assistance towards flights home!

EVOLVE HOSPITALITY

JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Silver Service Staff, Waiters and Waitresses, Chef de Parties and Pastry Chefs Location: Central London Salary: £6.50 - £14 an hour depending on role

T: 020 7397 1265 www.evolvehospitality.co.uk Evolve Hospitality specialises in supplying staffing solutions to the Hospitality and Catering industry. We believe in evolving the standards of service, be it in a Michelin-starred restaurant, a 5* hotel or an events venue.

OIS REMOVALS LTD

www.recovre.com.au and go to careers page or email ppc@recovre.com.au

Evolve Hospitality is looking to recruit with immediate start.

Please send your CV to symmone@evolvehospitality.co.uk and specify in the subject line what job you are applying for.

T: 020 7274 7405 www.oisremovals.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Removal Driver Location: Brixton, London SE24 0AU Salary: £8.50 per hour

The Removals Company in London that takes care of you and the environment

Experienced removal driver/supervisor required to work between 24 and 48 hours per week, must have valid driving licence and experience packing, loading and customer service Oisin | 020 7274 7405

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

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Multi award winning, Michelin starred restaurant requires

CHEF DE PARTIE If you are interested in working with great food and in an energetic, friendly team please email your CV to mattchristmas@chezbruce.co.uk

We offer excellent rates of pay, but sound experience in similarly high class establishment is a must.

Design & Production Assistant TNT Magazine is looking for a talented designer to be based in its London office.

You’ll have a diverse portfolio demonstrating strong conceptual and typographic skills. Working under pressure, delivering on time and the ability to juggle projects will come naturally to you.

You’ll be working across our range of products and supplements, including TNT Magazine, tntmagazine.com and TNT Destinations.

Additionally you will be assisting the Head of Production in designing adverts, creating print-ready PDFs and handling all the production processes.

You will need to be disciplined and have the ability to work independently. You will work closely with the editorial staff, pictures and production but ultimately be able to work unsupervised.

All the usual high-end design skills (Creative Suite) are pre-requisites for this role.

Knowledge of the TNT market would be an advantage.

To apply, send a covering letter telling us why you’re perfect for the job, along with your CV, salary expectations and examples of your work to careers@tntmagazine.com.

Jobs back home Darwin

Are you returning from the UK and looking for work?

Why not consider employment with one of Australasia’s premium Energy Services companies. We are seeking qualified staff as HVAC, ELECTRICAL, BOILER specialists or experienced BMS engineers to join our operations in anyone of our 14 locations across Australia and New Zealand. Dalkia is the exclusive distributor of TREND and TRACER BMS Systems in AUS, and TRANE product in AUS and NZ. Come and join a dynamic group of industry leaders TODAY. For more info go to www.dalkia.com.au or contact us at hr@dalkia.com.au

42

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Dalkia is a global leader in the development, engineering, delivery, service and maintenance of advanced Energy Solution projects for customers in the HVAC, commercial, industrial, community and environmental fields. With over 52,000 employees worldwide in 40 countries, and as the energy services arm of Veolia; Dalkia in Australia and New Zealand, with nearly 400 employees, is expanding rapidly.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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CASH-SAVING TIPS

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

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Photos: Getty

BITE INTO A BURGER Burger King is doing a sweet buy-one-get-onefree offer this week. To be eligible to bite into a bonus burger, sign up for their newsletter and you can download a bunch of vouchers. Offer includes BOGOF on their Aberdeen Angus or Chicken Tendercrisp, Whopper or Chicken Royale burgers, plus a free coffee. See burgerking.co.uk/offers.

ARGOS DISCOUNT Spend £40 at Argos on any of their 45,000+ items in store – everything from kitchenware to furniture and electronics – and you’ll get £10 off. Just quote the code 24073 to bag the discount.

The perfect place to buy accessories for your iPhone5, perhaps?

ensure that you still have money left by the end of the month. Cooking at home is also a good way of saving money.

MANUEL ALBALADEJO, 32 JOB Advertising director FROM Spain LIVES London How do you budget?

I don’t really budget. I spend

money until my account is empty. Like most people my age, I guess.

Any money-saving tips for living in London?

Put some money aside when you get paid. That will

Last big blow-out?

On my birthday I took all my friends to a restaurant and paid for everyone. That was a bit expensive, but it was really good fun so totally worth it!

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

I splash a lot of cash on clothes and stuff – mostly branded shoes. I have bought too many Nikes.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Fast and furiously rich It was reported last week that Miley Cyrus, 19, bought herself a spanking new £125,000 McLaren sports car.

She’s not the only star with a penchant for motors...

❚ Nicolas Cage is another celeb with expensive taste in cars. He supposedly dropped £413,000 on a Ferrari Enzo, which goes a speedy 0-60mph in 3.14 seconds. There were only 399 of these models made. ❚ Rappers Birdman and

Cowell owns a Bugatti Veyron worth £1.2m

Jay-Z are said to have both bought a Maybach Exelero worth a staggering £4.9m.

This 2.66 tonne beast is bling.

❚ Simon Cowell is the proud owner of a Bugatti Veyron, priced at a whopping £1.2m.

This model reaches a top speed of 267mph – let’s hope Cowell’s bought a racetrack to go with it. ❚ P. Diddy gave his son Justin one over-the-top sweet 16 birthday treat: a £222,000 Maybach Zeppelin wrapped in a red bow. Justin didn’t even have a licence yet.

Do you want to start work immediately?

We can start you next day for full or part time, evenings or weekends!

• • • • •

Bar staff Waiters and room service Chefs - all catagories Housekeepers Hotel reception staff

Call us now on 02080904654 and start work today! or email your cv to tnt@supplyemploymentgroup.co.uk

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

1518 FINAL Lifestyle Money.indd 43

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LIFESTYLELIVING

follow us on

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HOME

STYLE .99

£79

Dimplex MicroFire Winter’s a-coming. Stay cosy with this stylish heater dimplex.co.uk

Room with a view Crystal Palace, SE19 WORDS PETTER LARSSON

.00

£38

Londonisms Wall art for your pad. samanthabarnes.co.uk

.99

£24

Lording over the London skyline, Crystal Palace may boast one of the highest points in the city at Sydenham Hill, but living here comes at a low price. “It’s like a cheaper version of Shoreditch,” says Calum Mason, director at Crystal Palace estate agency Winkworth. “You’ve got edgy people, vintage clothing stores, some cool 1950s-60s furniture shops, and high-end shops, too.”

Small, quirky stores, such as charcuterie and cheese purveyors Good Taste (goodtastefd.co.uk), cafes and restaurants are packed inside ‘the triangle’, where the main action is found along the suburb’s three main streets.

Why Crystal Palace?

Waffle Stick maker Pancakes are so Noughties. lakeland.co.uk

99

£4.

It might have great connections to central London, but the area manages to retain a small town feel. Get back to nature and check out Crystal Palace Park, where you’ll find a lovely lake and plenty of opportunities to soak up the cityscape. However, there’s also a distinctly urban vibe thanks to the area’s myriad chilled-out bars. Perhaps even better than all of that, though, is this simple fact: it’s cheap. Mason says: “Most people coming to rent here are moving from Clapham and Balham, because they can get twice as much for their money.”

Don’t move here if…

Polka dot gloves Washing up made fun. bizzybee.co.uk

44

You’re averse to exercise. Walking home from the Overground station inevitably involves tackling a steep hill. If you like to throw your cash around, don’t bother here: it’s more suited to savvy penny-pinchers.

The people Crystal Palace is home to an invigorating mix of styles and nationalities. “We’ve got a lot of arty and theatrical people and quite a few folks from the public sector,” reckons Mason.

Where to hang out The massive park, site of the original Crystal Palace – a grand glass building erected in 1854, which burned down in 1936 – is ideal for sunny days. If walking up the high hill every day isn’t enough, the National Sports Centre – with gym, climbing wall, swimming pool, tennis court, badminton and squash courts and more – offers a great workout for everyone.

Once you’re fighting fit, treat yourself and enjoy the eateries along Westow Hill.

Joanna’s (joannas.uk.com), which dishes up top-notch international cuisine, is open 10am until late, seven days a week, and is one of the area’s most popular restaurants. Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that you can bag a three-course meal here for under £17.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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View from the top: Crystal Palace gives a great panorama over the city skyline

MY AREA DANIEL POMLETT GRAPHIC DESIGNER 30

“I used to live in Brighton and thought London was going to be a bit over the top. But here’s a bit further out, a bit more relaxed and there’s a nice community feel.”

BROOK KING TRAINEE

HAIRDRESSER

21

“Even the expensive restaurants here are within reach,” says Ben Bussy, a property consultant at estate agent Abode in Crystal Palace. “It’s all reasonable.”

In the evening the trendy people of ‘the triangle’ gather for drinks in The Sparrowhawk (thesparrowhawkpub.co.uk), which also serves up great gastro grub. At Westow House (westowhouse.com) you can sink local ales over a game of table tennis.

The connections Crystal Palace is at the end of the Overground line, but it takes less than

half an hour to travel from here to Shoreditch High Street. London Bridge is just 20 minutes away from Crystal Palace with National Rail, which also takes you to Victoria in 26 minutes.

“It’s always busy, there’s a lot of people around, and there are lots of restaurants and things to do at night. When it’s sunny it’s great to go to the park.”

DOMENIKA BARTOBICOBA

NANNY 26

What you can rent There are beautiful big Victorian houses in the area, but most are now split into NEXT WEEK apartments. Properties vary from studios to London’s best eight-room flats, plus a little villages handful of new builds.

“Restaurants and shops are close to each other here, and so are the people! It’s like a little village. It’s also nice that you can see the city centre from the top.”

SE19 INFO BOROUGH

Bromley COUNCIL TAX

£991.31 Band D TRAVEL TIME TO LONDON

Photos: Getty

20mins STUDIO £184pw

ONE-BED FLAT £220pw

TWO-BED FLAT £298pw

This big Victorian conversion flat is only moments away from the railway station. It comes with a newly fitted shower and a kitchen overlooking the communal garden.

This furnished flat has a modern fitted kitchen, reception area and storage shed, but best of all is the private courtyard garden for warm summer nights.

With a large master bedroom and a study, this is ideal if you want some space – but not in your bank account. Still, it costs the same as a studio in many parts of London.

winkworth.co.uk

winkworth.co.uk

winkworth.co.uk

OVERGROUND

Crystal Palace AVERAGE ROOM SHARE

£76pw AVERAGE RENTAL 1-BED

£875pcm AVERAGE STUDIO

£640pcm

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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WORLDVIEW

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No wonder this guy looks shocked

BUM DEAL FOR A BUMMED EEL NEW ZEALAND A New Zealand man had to have an eel removed from his rectum at Auckland City Hospital’s A&E. A member of hospital staff told the New Zealand Herald: “The eel was about the size of a decent sprig of asparagus.”

The unnamed man was discharged after having the creature removed from his bum. There are two well-known types of eel species in NZ, the shortfin and the longfin. It’s thought one of these got inside him, though it’s unconfirmed how the eel managed to find its way into his bottom.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @MrNeilB If 30yr old maths teacher takes 15yr old pupil 350 miles 2 France average speed of 40mph, how many years will he get in jail?

Clowning around: Shane Cuthbert, from Blacktown, Western Sydney, was almost held in contempt of court after he turned up to answer charges of damaging a taxi’s side mirror dressed in a clown suit. The judge at Parramatta Local Court was unimpressed with the rather colourful outfit, but eventually decided to let the landscaper off with a warning

@Joey7Barton I know loads of ‘plebs’.

I mean, who doesn’t? @EtonOldBoys Police plebs are telling lies, politicians don’t lie #votetory

GREAT BARRIER REEF ON GOOGLE ‘SEAVIEW’ AUSTRALIA It’s now possible to explore the Great Barrier Reef while surfing the net, as Google Maps Street View has been developed to take us under the sea.

Using a special high-res underwater camera, the map service paired up with Catlin Seaview Survey to make it happen.

It’s “the next step in our quest to provide people with the most comprehensive, accurate and usable map of the world,” Google Maps said.

Richard Vevers, project director of Catlin 46

Seaview Survey, added: “This will allow the 99.9 per cent of the population who have never been diving to go on a virtual dive for the first time.”

The updated service means we can also poke around other great reefs, including Apo Island in the Philippines, Maui’s Molokini crater and Hanauma Bay, Hawaii.

MAN’S LOST FINGER TURNS UP IN FISH UNITED STATES A human finger found inside a fish has been traced back to a wakeboarder who lost it in July.

Nolan Calvin, a fisherman in Bonner County, Idaho, discovered

the fishy finger as he was cleaning a trout he caught and called the police.

The cops were able to make out the fingerprint on the dismembered digit and matched it to Hans Galassi, a 31-year-old wakeboarder who lost four of his fingers after an accident on the same lake in June.

It’s not known how long the finger had been inside the fish, but it was in a good condition considering it had been missing for over two months. Local detective Gary Johnston said: “You fall asleep in your bathtub or hot tub, you come out and your fingers are all puckered up and prune-like.

It wasn’t like that.”

The sheriff’s office asked Galassi if he wanted his finger back.

He declined.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 10

Percentage of Brits who are too tired and stressed to have sex and consider making the beast with two backs “a chore”

Big mouth: scientists scare off Jaws

AUSSIES DESIGN ANTI-SHARK WETSUIT AUSTRALIA

A shark-proof wetsuit is being developed by researchers in Australia, with the aim of making surfers visually unappealing to sharks.

The team working on the designs hope to have a prototype ready by next year for the wetsuit, which they hope will make the wearer look unappetising: “Poisonous if you like, or unattractive to the shark, somewhat like a sea snake,” Professor Shaun Collin said.

Research by the University of Western Australia found sharks are colour blind. The designers hope to use this information to influence a shark’s behaviour based on what the predators can and can’t see. “[We’ll be] using a model which takes into account the different light levels that sharks move through and different seasons of the year and different times of the day,” Prof Collin added.

MICHAEL HUTCHENCE BACK ON STAGE?

Photos: AAP, Getty, Thinkstock

AUSTRALIA INXS have been approached to tour with a hologram of their late lead singer, Michael Hutchence.

Keyboardist Andrew Farriss is reportedly open to the idea, while the band’s manager Chris Murphy says it’s a possibility, too.

“I don’t think anything like that is out of the question,” Murphy said.

INXS have had several replacement lead singers – including JD Fortune, who won the honour on a reality show – since Hutchence died in 1997.

Dead stars returning to the stage as

1518 FINAL WORLD NEWS.indd 47

Value of compensation, in pounds, awarded to a woman by Tesco after she found a dead rodent in her sandwich

12

Hutchence hologram: the show must go on a hologram came to the world’s attention when rapper Tupac appeared with Snoop Dogg and Dr Dre at US music festival Coachella in April this year.

HOW TO LIVE LONGER: CUT OFF YOUR PENIS

33

Number of months to wait before Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson go on trial to face phone hacking charges

Cost, in pounds, of a jetpack bought by businessman Jeremy Paxton to speed up his commute up the Thames

115,000

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

SOUTH KOREA A study of genealogical records from the Korean Chosun dynasty (13921910AD) has revealed an interesting method of prolonging life.

According to the study, castrated males from the dynasty lived longer than other males – 14 to 19 years longer on average.

Of the 81 eunuchs listed in the records, three of them lived to the age of 100 or more – something that is rare even today, despite modern medicine.

Kyung-Jin Min, of Inha University in South Korea, said: “This discovery adds an important clue for understanding why there is a difference in the expected life span between men and women.”

On average, women live five to 10 years longer than males.

So there you go – having a penis in your possession is bad for you. Fact.

Movies saved me from shame, from guilt Steven Spielberg on his battle with dyslexia.

Didn’t work with Indiana Jones 4, though

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: COMMENT: JAHNOLI VANNISSELROY JONES jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com oliver.jones@tntmagazine.com

[Caption] ‘What this plane needs is fresh air’

Romney’s gaffes would be funny if it weren’t for nukes

Photo: Getty

The Republican candidate is a bulletproof global liability

When Mitt Romney was caught on film saying 47 per cent of Americans would vote for Barack Obama “no matter what” because they “believe that they are victims, who believe that government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it,” logic would have dictated that was it for his campaign. But, perplexingly, the incident doesn’t seem to have impacted his poll rating too drastically.

Mercilessly, for all, Romney was compelled to continue his run at the White House, and this week served up yet another golden gaffe. During an interview, Romney complained that the inability to wind down windows on a plane was a “real problem”. At this juncture, it should be stressed, this is a man potentially three months away from obtaining nuclear launch codes. And yet Romney is polling only four points behind Obama.

It seems as if Romney could get away with anything. Imagine for a second if he’d said that the hunt for Osama Bin Laden was a waste of money, or that he wanted to double the size of Camp X-Ray at Guantanamo Bay. Or if he’d said that in France, marriage is now contracted in seven-year terms, and that he didn’t care about his wife’s opinions. Imagine also that he belongs to a religion whose holy book claims black people were contentious objects in an intergalactic battle between good and evil angels, and were sent to Earth with dark skin as punishment. Would his poll rating change much? Apparently not, because he has done/ said/ is all of the above.

In a rather beautiful way, Romney’s campaign is crystallising a fallacy that lies at the centre of American Republican belligerence: that wealth is an indicator of a meritocratic standing. It’s not. But as we can’t do anything about the American election, we’ve just got to sit and wait to see if the Yanks give the Mormon who doesn’t understand why you can’t wind down the windows on planes the nuclear codes. Joseph Smith help us all. » Agree or disagree? Would you vote for Romney? letters@tntmagazine.com

FIRST SQUATTER JAILED IN LONDON Alex Haigh, a 21-year-old from Plymouth, last week became the first person in the UK jailed for squatting.

He’d come to London looking for work and was arrested in a flat in Pimlico.

Rueben Taylor, from Squatters Action for Secure Homes, said: “This marks a dark day for our country, as a young vulnerable person is being sent to prison simply for trying to keep a roof over his head.

“The real crime is the 930,000 properties sitting empty across the UK, not the people who are bringing these back into use. This crazy law is aggressively

“

Squatting is a London tradition

”

punishing the victims of our housing crisis, at massive cost to the taxpayer.”

Squatting is a London tradition. While abuses undoubtedly occurred before, it was the police’s laziness in properly assessing cases that led to the tabloid outrage that then bred this retrograde legislation, which will only increase homelessness in London.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

1518 NEWS Opinion THIS IS THE ON49 49

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Pathetic plebgate The country is up in arms over the alleged use of ‘pleb’. Are there any sillier political scandals? WORDS OLI JONES A fortnight ago, Andrew Mitchell was one of the lesser known privately schooled, flop-haired ministers, famed only for his school nickname, Thrasher. A week on and 1300 people were so moved by something he was alleged to have said, they called for his sacking.

On the face of it, Mitchell’s rant, at a policeman refusing to let him through the Downing Street vehicle gate on his bicycle, was a dopey lapse from a veteran politician. But, as with most political scandals, the devil was in the detail and the denial. Mitchell’s initial apology, a tour de force of mealymouthed obfuscation, didn’t rule out the key point, him allegedly calling police officers ‘plebs’ – a word surely banned in the Tory party as it represents a contempt for the working class – although he is now understood to have also denied that. Mitchell’s case is an example of the dichotomy of political scandals – they’re either appalling and immoral abuses of power or ridiculous. For Mitchell, it’s the latter, but where does it fit in the annals of pathetic vs serious political scandals?

Anthony Albanese: rubbish scandal In 2011, Australian Labor Party MP Anthony Albanese gave a speech which lifted lines straight out of an address made

by American president Andrew Shepherd (the fictional one played by Michael Douglas in the The American President).

Speaking in Canberra, the Minister for Infrastructure and Transport criticised Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.

“In Australia we have serious challenges to solve and we need serious people to solve them,” he said, in an almost verbatim rip-off of Douglas’s fake campaign speech.

“Tony Abbott is not the least bit interested in fixing anything. He’s only interested in two things, making Australians afraid of it and telling them who’s to blame.”

On Twitter Albanese said: “D’oh! Stuff up (for the record, that comes from another great American, Homer Simpson).”

Abbott, naturally, had a field day with the gaffe.

50

tntMagazine.coM

The Combe-Ivanov affair: real scandal Australian Labor PM Bob Hawke’s government was shaken in the early 1980s by the Combe-Ivanov affair. David Combe, a former Labor national secretary, was in Canberra when he met Valery Ivanov, the first Soviet embassy secretary in Australia and an alleged KGB spy.

Combe and Ivanov became good friends, too close for Australia’s security agency ASIO, which believed Ivanov was targeting Combe as a source. It turned out they were right.

Hawke ditched Combe and expelled Ivanov from the country, then launched an investigation into Australia’s security and intelligence services.

Bill Snedden’s death: rubbish scandal Billy Snedden was an Aussie politician who, in 1974, almost became prime minister. In his scandal, at least he didn’t have to face the music after dying mid-coitus… with his son’s ex.

The married man was in Sydney for the campaign launch for the 1987 election and dined with friends and a “mystery woman”. They retired to the Travelodge at Rushcutters Bay where, as a tactful policeman at the scene said, he “died at the peak of physical congress”. A less tactful cop added, with a “loaded condom”. The woman involved was a mystery until years later when Snedden’s son, Drew, told a reporter: “It was an ex-girlfriend of mine actually.”

Rinkagate: real scandal Former Liberal Party leader Jeremy Thorpe’s political career was effectively over when he was accused of hiring a hitman, former pilot Andrew Newton, to kill his one-time gay lover.

North Devon MP Thorpe was a rising star in the party when he allegedly had an affair with former male model and stable boy Norman Scott in 1961 (homosexual acts were illegal at the time). When Scott went public about the relationship in 1971, Thorpe denied it.

Femme fatale: Christine Keeler had an affair with John Profumo (above) while she was dating a Russian spy

Edwina Currie made some wacky claims

Newton said Thorpe hired him to kill Scott in 1975. The story goes that the two of them drove to Exmoor, where they got out of the car and Newton shot Scott’s great dane, Rinka.

He then attempted to shoot Scott, but said the gun jammed.

Newton was convicted of intent to endanger life, but on his release in 1977, made the claim that Thorpe had paid him to bump off Scott. In 1979, Thorpe was tried and acquitted for conspiracy to murder. He lost his seat at that year’s election.

Eggwina: rubbish scandal Where to start with Edwina Currie? Well, in 1986, the then UK junior health minister said, “Good Christian people who would not dream of misbehaving will not catch AIDS,” and that northerners die of “ignorance and chips”.

In 1988, Edwina then went on to expose her own ignorance when she claimed that most British eggs produced were infected with salmonella. This was, of course, nonsense.

But it still led to a dramatic drop in eggs sales in the UK and the government was forced to compensate farmers.

Photos: AFP, Getty

Profumo 1963: real scandal The Profumo Affair had it all – sex, drugs, spies, guns, murder plots and deception. Tory politician John Profumo lied to the House of Commons about having an affair with Christine Keeler, a model and mistress of Soviet spy Yevgeny Ivanov.

Profumo was Secretary of State for War in 1961 when he met Keeler. Their affair lasted only a few weeks. It came to light a year later when she was due to give evidence against another ex in a trial.

Profumo first denied the affair but later admitted he lied and quit. Former MI5 assistant director Peter Wright had interviewed Keeler, who he said had uncommon knowledge of nuclear weapons, and was sure that Ivanov had tried to get Keeler to extract information from Profumo, but the extent to which she succeeded has never been proven.

Andrew Mitchell will watch his ps from now on

four-letter word why is ‘pleb’ offensive?

What is it about ‘pleb’ that makes it so taboo? It’s not a swearword. It’s not overtly prejudicial, either, but it does deeply offend some people.

The etymology reveals that it is a modern derivation of the Latin word plebeian, which was used to describe the lower strata of land-owning Roman society or more generally describe the “common people”.

While free, plebeians were excluded from Roman institutions, such as religious colleges, and were denied knowledge of the law. But they could become wealthy.

The Oxford English Dictionary now says pleb, which has been in use since the mid-17th century, means “an ordinary person, especially one from the lower social classes,” which is why Andrew Mitchell’s alleged use of it as an insult rankles with so many people.

The person calling someone else a pleb effectively implies they are socially superior, and no one likes that.

tntMagazine.com

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JOBE WATSON TAKES BROWNLOW MEDAL AFL Like his club Essendon, Jobe Watson started the AFL season with a bang.

The difference between the two is that Watson ends the season with silverware after winning the Brownlow Medal.

Watson, pictured, polled 30 votes to claim the AFL’s top individual honour, his runaway win confirmed when he held a seven-vote lead with two rounds left.

He held out Hawthorn veteran Sam Mitchell, who showed up the All Australian selectors who left him out of their team by polling 26 votes to be equal runner-up with Richmond’s Trent Cotchin.

Watson is the first player to win the Brownlow in a team that didn’t make the finals since 1999, when Hawthorn’s Shane Crawford triumphed.

He is also the sixth Bombers player to claim the award.

MCCAW TO TAKE WELL-EARNED REST RUGBY UNION All Blacks captain Richie McCaw will sit out most of the Super 15 next season, plus three Tests against France, to rest for the 2015 World Cup in England.

McCaw is all set to enact a six-month sabbatical clause in his contract, but unlike teammate Dan Carter, who had an ill-fated sojourn in France in 2008, McCaw will stay away from rugby.

His manager, Warren Alcock, said the 110-Test veteran needed to “be anonymous” somewhere and gain mental refreshment.

McCaw said he hoped his leave would not be seen as shirking. “I want to make sure there is not a perception I’m just hanging in there and being around for the sake of it,” he said.

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Mud, sweat and smiles: a competitor in the Tough Mudder contest in Glenworth Valley on Australia’s Central Coast looks satisfied to complete the challenge. The unnamed warrior was among 25,000 who tackled the gruelling obstacle course, designed by British special forces and including flaming mud, electric shocks and slippery walls

SHEENS GETS THE AXE FROM WESTS TIGERS RUGBY LEAGUE Wests Tigers will appoint a new head coach in 2013, but the future of sacked coach Tim Sheens remains unclear as he considers remaining with the NRL club in a different capacity.

Tigers chairman David Trodden said they would embark on a restructure as a result of the side’s dismal showing in 2012, when it failed to make the finals.

Sheens is unlikely to take a noncoaching role, however, and has already been linked to the vacant New Zealand Warriors head coach job.

Also in league, former Knights, NSW and Australia player Andrew Johns has been named rugby league’s eighth immortal.

BIG WEEK FOR ...

It’s down to the business end of the season for Formula 1 and Australia’s Mark Webber sits in fifth place.

After finishing 11th in Singapore, due to copping a 20-second penalty, Webber needs a huge race at the Suzuka Circuit to narrow the gap on leader Fernando Alonso. However, with teammate Sebastian Vettel in second place, Webber could be told to play second fiddle to help the German take the title, which he won’t be happy about.

Red Bull is first in the team championship, so the Aussie has plenty to race for.

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BEER OF WORLD CHAMPIONS.

OFFICIAL ALL BLACKS

SUPPORTERS GEAR DS21162

Register and join the Steinlager mailing list at www.steinlager.com to go in the draw to WIN an Official All Blacks Puffer Vest or Polo Shirt.

You must be a resident of mainland United Kingdom (England, Scotland and Wales) who is 18 years or older to enter. The promotion commences on 24/09/12 and ends 28/10/12. To enter, simply register at www.steinlager.com/Register (selecting “UK” at the age verification gate) and join the Promoter’s mailing list. Prizes consist of 2 x All Blacks/Adidas branded puffer vests and 5 x All Blacks/Adidas branded polo shirts. Seven winners will be drawn on 30/10/12 and notified by telephone by 02/11/12. See www.steinlager.com for full terms and conditions.

The promoter is Lion - Beer, Spirits & Wine (NZ) Limited, 111 Carlton Gore Road, Newmarket, Auckland 1023, New Zealand.

Autumn season registrations at One Netball UK are

‘Now Open’ If you are looking for a fun alternate to the gym and keeping fit, a way to meet new people and reason for a week night social we have just the thing for you!

With something for everyone from Beginners to Pro Netballers, with venues across London get in touch now to get a space in one of our leagues.

All venues start the week of the 22nd October. Get in touch now if you are a single player, small group or team looking for a venue.

Pimlico, Camden, Waterloo, Wimbledon Indoor and Pimlico Indoor!

Give us a call at the office on 0207 828 1034 or contact Sophie@onenetball.com.

Proudly sponsored by

www.onenetball.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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AFTER PARTY

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK I’m too fast, too sexy and too talented to be blown away by a large, slow robot from the Ukraine British boxer David Haye doesn’t seem too frightened of rival Vitali Klitschko.

Hope his toe’s healed

Weapon: the Gunners expect big things from Spain’s Santi Cazorla

PREVIEW EUROPE’S BEST DUKE IT OUT UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TUES, WED FROM 7.45PM. SKY SPORTS 2 This week, Manchester City, schooled on how to produce a full 90-minute performance by Real Madrid in the opening round, face another stern test at home to German champs Borussia Dortmund on Wednesday.

Dortmund arrive on a high, after beating Dutch kings Ajax Amsterdam 1-0 two weeks ago. A loss at home will really hurt City in their first year in the Champions League.

Arsenal, hungry for another win, welcome Greek champions Olympiakos to the Emirates, and appear energised by the addition of midfielder Santi Cazorla.

Elsewhere, early favourites Real Madrid rock up to Amsterdam, and they’ll hope Cristiano Ronaldo’s head is in the right place. Also, keep an eye out for Amsterdam’s Viktor Fischer, the latest to be dubbed ‘the new Messi’. Manchester United want him, apparently.

Reigning champs Chelsea travel to Copenhagen to face FC Nordsjælland, while Man U are hosted by Romania’s CFR Cluj. They’ll expect a big win there.

THE CHAT | Obama talks football

Football has a small pocket of people who do not seem to be in tune with life on this planet, so tell them to go and annoy someone else Ex-Liverpool player John Aldridge calls for harsh punishments for those who crow vile chants at matches

Joe Hart should stay in goal and make saves.

I am the judge, not Joe Hart Man City gaffer Roberto Mancini says he’ll be the one to offer any criticism of the team, thank you very much

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

RUGBY UNION president Barack Obama has been weighing Q US in on NFL issues. What’s that all about? to a pay dispute, the NFL locked out its top referees A Due in June after their contracts expired. The league has been using replacements, who have come under criticism. “We’ve got to get our refs back,” the president said in the wake of a controversial call in the Seattle Seahawks’ recent win over the Green Bay Packers. The world’s most powerful man later tweeted: “NFL fans on both sides of the aisle hope the refs’ lockout is settled soon.” Obama, a Chicago Bears fan, isn’t one to wish the rival Packers well. However, he has stepped up his efforts to win in politically important Wisconsin, home of the Packers and rival Mitt Romney’s running mate, Paul Ryan.

South Africa v New Zealand Their final Four Nations hit-out Sat, 4pm. Sky Sports 3

RUGBY LEAGUE Super League Grand Final Europe’s best do battle Sat, 6pm. Sky Sports 1

RUGBY UNION Argentina v Australia Can Los Pumas force another tight one?

Sun, 12.10am. Sky Sports 3 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Why always me?

Wallabies star Quade Cooper is in the headlines again for all the wrong reasons WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY Enigma. Mercurial. Plonker. Depending on which side of the Tasman you’re from, you’d probably use one of those terms to describe Australian rugby’s Quade Cooper. Perhaps you’d use all three. The 24-year-old – by turns brilliant, suspect, sublime and thuggish – is a divisive figure for rugby fans.

The Tokoroa, New Zealand-born fly-half was in the media spotlight again last week after letting his fingers do the talking. As is his wont, Cooper took to Twitter to criticise Australia’s set-up, stating he was only allowed to play his exciting natural game in Super Rugby for Queensland. To top it all off, he then strongly insinuated he might join close friend Sonny Bill Williams in the NRL next season. “I don’t want to be involved in the toxic environment, and that’s how it is at the moment,” Cooper said of the Wallabies.

But his Queensland Reds chief executive Jim Carmichael hit out at Cooper’s use of the microblogging site, saying: “I’m fed up, to be honest. Quade is making silly comments that do damage to our code.” And former Reds and Wallabies coach John Connolly said he suspected Cooper, currently out of the Wallabies squad due to a knee injury, had made his position in the national team untenable.

Seems like it’s just another crazy month for Cooper. So, in honour of this polarising figure, we’ve remembered some of his more controversial moments.

2009: Burglary charge Cooper first hit headlines for the wrong reasons when he was accused of burglary in 2009. Police alleged a Gold Coast apartment leased by foreign students had its door kicked in before being relieved of a couple of laptops.

Cooper, who’d been boozing at a buck’s night, told police his memories of the evening were hazy. There were suggestions he had been under the influence of Wallabiesapproved sleeping pills, but this was strongly refuted by the up-and-coming star. He pleaded not guilty and the charges 56

were eventually dropped. After earlier being disciplined for an altercation with a taxi driver and then fined for taking part in a St Trinian’s-like food fight at a team hotel, the Australian Rugby Union felt Cooper needed some help, so ordered him into counselling.

2010/11: The best of enemies Cooper’s war with All Blacks captain Richie McCaw began in the 2010 Hong Kong Bledisloe Cup Test. Mid-game, Cooper cleaned McCaw out of a ruck (legally), much to the NZ number seven’s displeasure. Then, when James O’Connor plunged over for the Wallabies’ winning try late in the game, Cooper arrived on the scene to single McCaw out. He shoved the prostrate All Black leader in the head as he tried to get up, and then delivered a tirade of abuse.

Fans figured it was a one-off, but the baiting continued into the 2011 Super 15 season. It came to a head that year in another Bledisloe Test, this one in Brisbane, when Cooper launched a well-directed knee into the face of McCaw, who was lying on his back. New Zealand lock and enforcer Brad Thorn immediately tried to dispense some justice, but the Wallabies number 10 was protected by his forwards. Despite the incident appearing to be deliberate to many, Cooper was cleared of any wrongdoing by a judiciary. With the World Cup looming, he was considered lucky.

2011: Villain in his own pantomine Due to his treatment of McCaw, Cooper endured a hostile reception from Kiwi crowds when he arrived in NZ for the World Cup. “Hide your laptops; Quade’s in town,” one banner proclaimed. The playmaker was branded ‘The Tokoroa Turncoat’ and then voted public enemy number one by the nation’s media. Such was the vitriol dished out by fans and media, Cooper’s NZ-based granny was forced to defend him. The player, though, was cocky and unrepentant.

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Never a dull moment: Cooper takes on NZ’s Richie McCaw; his tweets; the fly-half’s fans

“I hope so,” he replied to questions about whether he expected hostility from Kiwi crowds.

They didn’t disappoint, booing and jeering every time he touched the ball. However, Cooper was made to pay for his smugness in Australia’s group match loss against Ireland, exposed as a flat-track bully who couldn’t operate unless his forwards were winning the battle upfront.

Then, in the semi-final against the All Blacks, Cooper blew his lines completely. He began the game by sending the ball over the touchline from the kick-off, made a series of horrid blunders and was crash tackled into touch in the final play, all to the noisy delight of the home crowd.

Photos: Getty

2010-12: Drunken antics No one begrudges players a drink, but Cooper seems to go a bit crazy on the turps. In 2010, he and teammates Kurtley Beale and James O’Connor were allegedly involved in a drunken fight outside a restaurant in Paris. Cooper and O’Connor were believed to have ganged up on Beale in a late-night scuffle in the lead-up to the season-ending Test against France.

In 2011, despite supposedly looking after himself after injuring his knee in the World Cup third/fourth playoff against Wales, Cooper was in trouble again. He was banned for six months from all three bars in Amity Point, Queensland, after a scuffle broke out at Stradbroke Island Beach Hotel on December 30.

And, even after all that, Cooper was again investigated by the Australian Rugby Union in June after seemingly getting involved in another altercation. He was alleged to have grabbed the mobile phone of an onlooker to a fight between Beale and a Brisbane hotel patron, smashing it against a wall. No one was ever charged. Maybe going under the wing of Sonny Bill Williams, who’s teetotal, wouldn’t be such a bad thing for Cooper after all.

A DIFFERENT LEAGUE COOPER A CONVERT? Any code-switch rumours regarding Cooper have always been given weight due to him being managed

by Khoder Nasser, the man who also does business for league re-convert Sonny Bill Williams.

Last year, Parramatta offered a reported AU$1.5m (£965,000) over three years, however Cooper signed a one-year deal with the ARU. But Cooper has now delivered a one-fingered salute to his employer, who he is still negotiating a contract with, stating his desire to play rugby league. He said it would be a “massive achievement” to play with Williams, who encouraged his mate to switch. “We’ve definitely had a chat about it and it’s more about playing with each other,” Cooper said.

“It’s something I’d really like to do in the future.”

Kiwis coach Tony Kemp said he would be more than interested in luring Cooper to the Kiwis should he turn his back on the 15-man code.

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights COMMENT: ALASDAIR MORTON alasdair.morton@tntmagazine.com

Schumacher has been given the thumbs down

Sport pays little heed to triumphs of the past

For former F1 champ Michael Schumacher, it’s time to go

» Is Schumacher past his use-by date? letters@tntmagazine.com 58

John Terry is a twat – just my opinion, but I’d hazard a guess and say I’m not alone in thinking this. So imagine the bind I find myself in when having to give my sympathies to the man who has, essentially, been tried for the same crime twice, with different findings.

He allegedly shagged his best mate’s bird, was accused of offering tours of Chelsea’s Cobham training ground for cash, and has generally brought the England captaincy into disrepute.

After being charged for racially abusing QPR’s Anton Ferdinand, he was cleared in court in July – so how could he face the

“

Does the FA operate to different rules?

”

same charges at a Football Association hearing, and then get found guilty, and then, adding insult to injury, be banned for four games and fined £220,000?

Is the FA above the law? Does it operate to different rules to the rest of us? Terry may not be the most reliable bloke, but he, and his lawyers, have a fair case to make.

Photo: Getty

Youth trumps experience – that seems to be the reality as F1 team Mercedes show Michael Schumacher the door and Lewis Hamilton signs up.

Schumacher, lest we forget, is a seven-time world champion, a man who ruled the track and was the sport’s poster boy – one of its all time greats. Since he returned from retirement in 2010, though, he has been a shadow of his former self. Partly, he hasn’t had the car to compete at the very top level – technological superiority plays such an important role in this sport, more so than others, where podium finishes are as much to do with the chassis under the hood as the man at the controls. But questions have been asked about Schumacher’s personal role in results and, especially, in particular recent races.

At last week’s Singapore Grand Prix, Schumacher, for the third year in a row at this track, spiralled out of the race in a collision. This time it was a rear end crash with Toro Rosso’s Jean-Eric Vergne, an incident in which the fault seemed to be the driver’s.

Schumacher explained the collision as a result of the car failing to decelerate the way he had wanted, but Formula 1 supremo Eddie Jordan had other thoughts: “These things shouldn’t be happening in the way they are, he [Schumacher] will have to reflect and ask, are all these car problems or could any of them be his?” Schumacher later admitted the error was his and received a 10-place penalty for the forthcoming Japan leg of the season.

Ageing is unavoidable, but Schumacher seems to be getting sloppy with his advancing years; the 43-year-old German’s extensive experience is now outweighed by a lack of judgement. Mercedes have signed up McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton for next season alongside 27-year-old Nico Rosberg, with Schumacher ‘asked’ to make way. Former glory is quickly outshadowed by current form.

Sport can be cruel to the ageing. For Schumacher, though, while sporting history will be kind, it’s time now to hang up the driving gloves for good.

TERRY TRIED ONE TIME TOO MANY

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Shortlisted

VOTE NOW &

WIN

The shortlist nominees have now been selected

Travelled in 2012?

Want to win a NEW TG-1 Olympus Camera?

Register your vote now!

The 2012 Golden Backpack Awards are taking place on October 25. Your vote counts! Go online and register your votes and you could win yourself a TG-1 Olympus Camera!

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

LET’S GO TO THE PUB!

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, James Ram/westcountryphotographers.com

Members of a lederhosen-clad brass band parade through Munich, Germany, as part of the infamous Oktoberfest beer festival.

INSIDE

BELLY WHACKERS /64

ALL NIGHT LONG /74

SNOWY ESCAPES /80

The Cornish certainly are a ‘unique’ bunch, as TNT discovers at the World Bellyboard Championships. Yes, it’s a real event.

Brave an after-dark world of debauched clubbers and terrifying bouncers in Berghain, Berlin’s most notorious nightclub.

Skis or a snowboard not cutting it for winter inspiration? We’ve hand-picked the best heart-pumping alternatives for the slopes.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer

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The alien ‘Supremes’ in the Fantasy Fest parade

TRAVEL EDITOR

THE BANK OF MUM AND DAD Well we’ve all guiltily visited it now and again, haven’t we? Occasionally borrowing a tenner to top up your Oyster card and never paying it back.

Letting them pick up the restaurant bill… well… every time. But it is a recession after all. Haven’t you heard?

The youth are struggling! And uh, so are some of us not-so-youthful...

FANTASY FEST A-CONCH-ALYPSE Florida, US Like dressing up in outrageously daft costumes? If you do, you’ll love Fantasy Fest, a 10-day street party in Key West, which includes 19-28 a fancy dress parade, costumed balls, competitions and drag queen parties. Over 100,000 people attended last year – we calculate that to mean one heck of a lot of brilliantly silly outfits.

OCT

WHY: Pinking Of You, a ferocious bidding war for men’s underwear, is one of the festival’s wackiest events. But it’s not just any old grey pants that are on sale – local artists transform everyday unmentionables into works of art, which are then modelled during a live auction.

SHUKI TAISAI

Nikko Toshogu, Japan The highlight of this Grand Autumn Festival is the 17 procession devoted to all things Samurai, including warriors wielding traditional Japanese weaponry parading through the streets. There’s also a Yabusame performance, which combines equestrian skills with Japanese-style archery. Do not, under any circumstances, get in the way.

OCT

jnto.go.jp

ADE FESTIVAL

Amsterdam, Netherlands This is one hell of a dance party, which involves DJs 17-21 (including David Guetta), artists and musicians taking over practically every club in the ‘Dam. OCT

amsterdam-dance-event.nl

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DO IT BECAUSE: Deep down, there’s nothing you want to do more than dye your hair (or beard) blue and roam the streets in an outrageously camp number. It’s heaps of fun and the crazy-costumed competitions also raise money for AIDS charities. fantasyfest.com

BONN PCHUM BEN

Tonle Bati, Cambodia

Cambodian ladies dress up in bright silk clothes on this 14-16 national holiday, also known as the ‘Festival of the Dead’, held to commemorate long-gone spirits. It is also tradition for people to bring rice balls with pork to their local pagoda as a dedication to their ancestors.

OCT

camboguide.com

MASSKARA FESTIVAL Bacolod City, Philippines

Bacolod is known as the ‘City of Smiles’, so you can 1-22 expect this to be a rather upbeat celebration, including pigcatching sessions and disco king and queen competitions – it all makes for a mighty colourful spectacle.

OCT

themasskarafestival.com

Photo: Getty

But some parents are really going above and beyond, with one in 10 of them paying up to £5000 toward their kid’s gap year travels, according to new statistics. Five grand! What on Earth are they doing with it? How many containers of pad Thai can a backpacker consume?

Actually, I have a pretty good idea of what some of them are doing with their wads of cash, ever since I overheard half a conversation in a cafe in Sri Lanka last year. A British backpacker had called her mum and was howling down the phone, “But you promised I could do a skydive if I got here and still wanted to... about £300... hmm, better make it £500. Just transfer it, God!” She hung up, after sniffling out a hasty, “Yeah-love-you-toobye,” and spent the next 15 minutes showing off to her mate about how she’d managed to con a few extra hundred quid out of her stingy mum.

More than anything else, I felt a bit sorry for the girl. Backpacking in your gap year is meant to be a rite of passage – sink or swim out there in the big bad world. You come back boasting about how you survived on nothing but biscuits for a week after missing a flight – you’d got drunk with these crazy guys you’d met in the hostel bar the night before. If your pals breathlessly ask what happened next, and you say, “I called home and demanded an instant wire transfer,” well, that’s got to lose you a lot of points in the cool stakes, hasn’t it?

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HA LONG BAY BAN Fishermen from the floating villages in Vietnam’s Ha Long Bay have been making a quick buck from tourists for years – usually just through selling bottles of beer and snacks to passing travellers. But authorities are clamping down on the hawkers after tourists reported being hassled and scammed, according to The Telegraph. One holidaymaker claimed he was forced to hand over £340 for a 6kg fish after being told the tour boat would be tied up if he refused. All tour boats are now banned from stopping at the villages and a tourism inspection force has been established to enforce the ban. Captains that don’t comply risk having their licence revoked.

Photos: Thinkstock

SOS APP LAUNCHED You know those sticky times when you get lost in the rainforest, threatened by an orangutan or stuck at the top of a mountain in a storm?

Well an app has been launched with just you reckless, adventurous lot in mind. Distress Signal puts you in touch with the closest emergency services when abroad, sending them your location, name, blood group and any allergies – in the local language. It acts as a torch and can sound a distress signal, as well as giving you the locations of all the local hospitals and police stations nearby.

The app costs £1.49 on both iOS and Android.

BEACH BUMS A cheeky postcard featuring three girls wearing nothing but flourescent thongs has got Eastbourne locals all hot and bothered.

Police officers visited Ian Donald’s shop on Eastbourne Pier in East Sussex after a complaint that he was selling “obscene” postcards that were “damaging the image” of a town. Mr Donald said the souvenirs, featuring scantily clad women on the beach, were just part of the “seaside tradition”. He said: “People would see worse than these postcards if they just walked along the beach. They are not obscene, they are just cheeky humour.”

ADULTS ONLY Great news for anyone who hates children.

Well, anyone who hates the kind of screaming, kicking, obnoxious kids who single-handedly turn fairly comfortable flights into living airborne nightmares. Malaysian budget carrier Air Asia has announced plans to introduce a seven-row “quiet zone” at the front of its Air Asia X flights, that allows passengers to avoid them altogether. Any group including a passenger younger than 12 will not be able to use these seats. However, anyone else travelling blissfully child-free can book them at no extra cost, through airasia.com.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Devon, Cornwall and Dorset.

com . g n st. i r e th We u e o S t ases all over the o c o g venu

eering coast th, r o f es ou r venu , Plym opula r, Torquay . p e t v s o a e We home of our mewquay, Exeat nd Penzance fterwards a S N h t r u a t out or Falmo are ne a nigh or hen do, r o f l .

Idea our stag trip for y ight seeing Tel: 07973 137028 as

Into the beach, dear friends: Cornish bellyboarding madness.

Below: feeling the cold and braving coasteering in Newquay

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

St Agnes ENGLAND

CORNWALL WALES

London

St Agnes

GETTING THERE Train tickets from London Paddington to Bodmin Parkway cost from £31 each way with First Great Western, if booked in advance.

St Agnes is a 30-minute drive from here. firstgreatwestern.co.uk

The Railway Inn is a friendly nook in St Agnes with decent pub grub from £7.95.

(10 Vicarage Road, TR5 0TJ, tel. 01872 552310) The Beached Lamb Café in Newquay dishes up burgers, healthy salads, cocktails, great cakes and open mic nights.

Main meals don’t tend to push above a tenner. (72/74 Fore Street, TR7 1EY, tel. 01637 872297) The nightlife in sleepy St Agnes is far from buzzing.

But anyone who does fancy a night “on the town” should seek out The Taphouse. The bar is always rammed and drinkers spill out onto the street. Pints from about £3. the-taphouse.com Chy Bar in Newquay is reliable if you want to party.

Open until 3am. Cocktails from £4.50. thekoola.com/the-chy-bar Stay at The Aramay in St Agnes for a stylish take on B&B. Rooms are thoughtfully decorated and the breakfast is bloody good. Rooms from £105pn. thearamay.com Newquay International Backpackers is just a few minutes’ walk from surf-central Fistral Beach. Find dorm beds from as little as £12.95pn. backpackers.co.uk/newquay

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UKTRIP

Belly whackers The Cornish are a ‘unique’ bunch, as TNT finds out at the World Bellyboard Championships

Photos: Jenni Dennis, Francesco Carucci, James Ram / National Trust

WORDS LAURA CHUBB

“We’re all a bit mad,” Lisa Woodruff offers, gripping a steaming Thermos lid full of tea as the wind whips her blonde hair over her eyes. “Or just Cornish.” I’m on a breezy beach, peering out to sea in the half-light provided by an afternoon’s September-grey sky. Hundreds of incredibly cold looking people are plunging into the churning surf, each of them sans wetsuit, brandishing a plywood board, and with a colourful bathing cap pulled on. I couldn’t help but ask, why?

The official answer is that this is the World Bellyboard Championships. A local tradition since 2002, it’s dedicated to the late Arthur Traveller, a Londoner who regularly visited Chapel Porth beach here in St Agnes, Cornwall, to ride the waves on his belly using a piece of ply. His style of “surfing” might sound a bit odd, but “bellyboarding” on wood was all the rage in this part of England in the Fifties and Sixties.

Maybe that’s why the world championships gets such a good turnout; in among the younger folks are plenty of old-timers having rollicking good fun reliving their youth.

But there’s some truth to Lisa’s “Cornish” answer, too.

It seems appropriate that this county rests in the part of England that resembles a toe poking into the sea – the Cornish are proud of their surfing heritage, which dates from the early 1900s. Aside from this, though, is an even deeper sense of distinct identity. During the 2011 UK census, there was a campaign to have a Cornish tick-box in the “nationality” section, and it has long been argued that it should be considered an ethnicity. It’s true that the Cornish have more in common with Celtic culture than English; there are Cornish kilts, tartans and even a separate language.

The flag of Cornwall – a white cross on black, named Saint Piran’s Flag after a 6th-century Cornish abbott – is everywhere, too, displayed in front windows and fluttering on cars.

There’s definitely a unique up-for-anything attitude among the locals (you wouldn’t catch a glum-faced Londoner running into the cold, stormy waves with a smile on their face). Lisa’s mate, Alice White, is now prepping to dive in. Dressed in a spotty swimsuit, at 51, she’s about to enter a “Juniors” heat – the “Seniors” are reserved for those over 60. Why does she think it’s a good idea? “If you can catch a few good ones and avoid hypothermia, it’s great fun,” she replies. Winning is a bonus, but no one takes that too seriously – after all, “enjoyment” is a category on which competitors are scored.

Inspired by this carefree lust for fun, I decide to brave the chilly water myself and sign up for coasteering in Newquay the next day. On the way, my cabbie seems unimpressed. “Ooh, I’m not sure about that,” he disapproves with broad West Country inflection. “It’s dangerous, I hear.

Lots of people been injured lately.”

As if to prove it, when I meet instructor Ben at Fistral Beach, we pass a number of notices along the cliffside instructing people not to jump from the rocks to the sea.

Seeing as coasteering involves essentially just that, I wonder whether this could be bad for business? Ben looks a bit put

“

Avoid hypothermia, and it’s great fun

”

out. Seems some locals have taken to tombstoning around here – not a good idea, because if you don’t know the coastline intimately, throwing yourself from a great height into water without knowledge of its depth or where rocks are can be lethal. Coasteering, by contrast, is led by an experienced guide.

Ben’s easygoing manner – he’s a Bondi Rescue-type frosted-tip surf dude who says things like “let’s just cruise over here” without a hint of embarrassment – boosts my confidence when it comes to making a variety of faith-testing leaps. And there is something exhilarating about levelling your stare at the horizon and abandoning yourself to the sea. But going by my chattering teeth and saltwater-sore throat as I pull off my wetsuit at the end of the lesson, I reckon I’ll leave the full-time batshit craziness to the Cornish. ❚

NEXT WEEK

For more on the championships: bellyboarding.co.uk Laura went coasteering with Surfing is Therapy. From £45pp for 2-3hrs. surfingistherapy.com

UK’s most haunted: Top creepy capers for Halloween

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LATEDEALS

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Experience Dubai’s glamorous nightlife on a fournight trip for £485 per person with Flight Centre

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£289

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BALI A nine-day tour is £450pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 4998487; intrepidtravel.com).

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TURKEY A seven-night stay is £316pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays) All-inclusive package with flights and five-star accommodation in the Happy Elegant Hotel in Alanya. Departs London Gatwick on October 18.

DUBAI A four-night stay costs £485pp with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference number 2214056.

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IBIZA A seven-night stay is £115pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes flights and four-star accommodation at the San Remo Hotel in San Antonio Bay on a room-only basis. Departs London Stansted on October 17.

MADRID A two-night stay is £136pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/ holidays). Includes flights and B&B accommodation at the Mercure Santo Domingo hotel in Madrid.

Prices are based on two people sharing. Departs London Gatwick October 23.

BERLIN A two-night stay is £104pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/ holidays). Includes flights and fourstar, B&B accommodation at the Ivbergs Premium hotel. Departs London Gatwick on November 6.

AMSTERDAM A two-night stay is £178pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at the Ramada Apollo Amsterdam Centre in Amsterdam. Departs Southend on October 4.

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RUTH ROXANNE BOARD

HOTSHOTS WINNER

Talks travel photography

INVADER Jasmine Bronotte, Sydney, Australia

WHY IT WORKS A suited commuter travels through the urban environment by public bicycle, a mode of transport that is known locally as the ‘Boris bike’.

The giant space invader looms on the wall in the background, waiting to strike! The picture was taken

by Tottenham Court Road Tube station, and although you usually can’t see the pavement through the crowds, this image is minimalist and sparse despite its urban setting.

RUNNER-UP SMOKE ART Ashish Bajracharya, Nepal

WHY IT WORKS The simplicity of this image is what makes it interesting. The white smoke drifts upwards against the dark background. No other details are visible, apart from the patterns caused by the smoke circling and twisting in the atmosphere.

No gimmicks or post-production, just the smoke, light and the camera.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Composition Generally rules are made to be broken but there are a few key points to consider when composing your image. Try to balance the subjects within the frame. You don’t want one side to seem overloaded while the other is empty. The eye will naturally want to follow lines, so use these to guide the viewer through the image. Symmetry and patterns can really pay off when executed

correctly. You can also disrupt the balance by including an unexpected focal point.

The camera tends to flatten a scene so if your background is too busy, it might make your subject disappear. Try to use plain and inconspicuous backgrounds. Cropping is a skill that often gets missed when it’s time to shoot. Remember to crop in tight to avoid that unwanted extra space.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

WIN

Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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TOP FIVE

HOT SPRINGS

CHECKING IN

1

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JIGOKUDANI, JAPAN

Shanghai shines at night

CAPTAIN HOSTEL OVERVIEW This

was one of Shanghai’s first hostels, so it managed to nab a location that the more recently established backpacker haunts could only dream about. It’s a two-minute walk from the iconic and megawealthy Bund and even closer to the bright lights of one of the city’s biggest shopping strips, East Nanjing Road. Plus, a heap of bars and restaurants are a stone’s throw away.

The nautical-theme lobby is full day and night with bright-eyed, excited travellers asking for addresses to be written down in Mandarin, demanding cups of green tea and trying to log on to the maddeningly slow internet. The staff is pretty unhelpful on the whole, but that doesn’t put anyone off and the atmosphere is lively and upbeat.

WOW FACTOR The bar on the seventh floor of the hostel is renowned as the only place with a roof terrace and views of the Huangpu River that won’t set you back a small fortune for a few beers. The food is so-so – think doughy pizzas and fries – but it’s also inexpensive.

ROOMS The hostel offers rooms with varying levels of luxury, but the dorms are by far the best value.

They look and smell more like a hospital ward than anything else, but at least you can be confident that they’re sparkling clean – seriously chilly in winter, though.

BILL PLEASE Dorm beds from £4.80pn. captainhostel.com.cn

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Just look at that monkey’s face – he’s got things sussed. He knows there’s nothing quite like taking your achy, weary limbs (whether they’re human or primate) and easing them into a pool of steamy water on a chilly winter’s day.

Hot springs occur wherever groundwater heated by geothermal energy bursts up through the Earth’s crust. They can be found all over the world, from England’s Bath to Japan.

Sadly, the snow monkeys of Jigokudani Monkey Park have claimed this particular hot spring paradise as their own. It’s not safe to venture in for a dip alongside them, but they don’t mind people visiting the park to take pictures, or watch their bizarrely human-like behaviour.

The monkeys live higher up in the Nagano mountains and make their way down the slope in the mornings to play, snooze, bathe and relax in the warm water, before heading back home to the forests in the evening, like pleasure-seeking day trippers.

A strict monkey heirarchy operates

within this bathing community – observers say there is a monkey “bouncer” who guards the hot springs to make sure only monkeys with the appropriate social status can get in.

Those without enough clout are left to shiver on the edges of the water.

If you want a piece of the ‘onsen’ (Japanese for ‘hot spring’) action, there’s a rustic spa at the Korakukan Jigokudani inn, with communal and private hot spring baths just down the hill from the Monkey Park (japaneseguesthouses.com). Sometimes one or two of the snow monkeys even pop in here, presumably just for a change of scene. If you’d prefer not to share your bath with the furry critters, it’s better to book one of the indoor pools instead. If you do find yourself up close and personal with one (and there aren’t many situations more close and personal than sharing a bath), just remember not to touch, smile at or make eye contact with them, as these are seen as acts of aggression in the wild. Admission is £4. jigokudani-yaenkoen.co.jp

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MÝVATN, ICELAND

While most tourists flock to Iceland’s more famous Blue Lagoon geothermal spa, the Mývatn Nature Baths are cheaper and often much quieter, too.

The water is a blissfully warm 36-40°C and rich in skin-soothing minerals. You have a choice of either swimming in the lagoon (pictured above) or sliding into one of two baths, where steam from 2500m below the Earth’s surface rises up through holes in the floor. icelandtouristboard.com

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty

4

HOT SPRINGS

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YELLOWSTONE, US

It’s the colours of the Mammoth Hot Springs in Yellowstone National Park – shades of tan, orange, yellow and bright white – that make it such a unique place to visit.

Feeding from Norris Geyser Basin, the water might look inviting, but it’s far too hot to swim in. Those desperate to get wet can head to the Gardner River, also known as The Boiling River, to take a dip during daylight hours – meanwhile, everyone else can follow the easy walking trails. yellowstonepark.com

3

TOP FIVE

ARDABIL, IRAN

These hot spring baths can be found near Iran’s northeast border with Azerbaijan. A dip here is considered to have great medicinal benefits, especially for skin conditions. Men and women bathe separately.

The city of Ardabil is also famous for the Unesco World Heritage-listed shrine to the original leader of the Safavid Empire, which ruled Persia from 1501 to 1722. itto.org

5

EL TATIO, CHILE

This geyser field in northern Chile is one of the world’s largest and is surrounded by volcanoes. To see it in the best light, you have to get here by 6am – it’ll be absolutely freezing but is definitely worth the effort.

At this time of day, each geyser is covered by a column of steam that condenses in the cold morning air.

There are over 80 active geysers here, that generally erupt to just under a metre, although the highest measured eruption is said to be 6m.

NEXT WEEK Snowy breaks: Ice fests, snowscapes and lots more

chiletourism.net

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TRAVELTIPS

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LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

the best place to go for a Q Where’s skiing holiday at Christmas time if you’re only a beginner and are on a budget?

Alison, via email

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to Colombia, and finally ending up in Venezuela, using public transport. Do you have any safety tips for travelling through Panama’s Darién Gap? Ross, via email should consider the Panama to A You Venezuela section of the route very carefully, due to the armed groups involved in the illegal drugs trade operating in the area.

I wouldn’t advise you to travel through the Darién Gap at all for this reason. Instead, you could travel to Panama City and then pick up a connecting flight to Bogota, thus missing out the Darién Gap altogether. The flight with Copa Air (copaair.com) takes just 90 minutes.

The Foreign Office advises against all but essential travel to the Colombian rural areas near Venezuela, but there is a safe and popular border crossing from Cúcuta, Colombia, into San Antonio del Táchira, Venezuela. As a general precaution, keep up to date with issues in the area as regularly as you can. Also, avoid travelling after dark, keep your valuables on you and out of sight, and don’t carry large amounts of money around with you.

Generally speaking, you’ll find public transport in Central America can be chaotic and knowing at least a little Spanish is a necessity. If you don’t, I would recommend looking into an organised tour, such as G Adventures’ Volcano Trail (£680 for 17 days taking in Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua; gadventures.com).

THE HIGH LIFE For the best views of Berlin, head up to the dome of the Berlin Cathedral, not TV Tower, as this gives you amazing views of the TV Tower, too!

Kirsten Milledge, via email BREAKFAST BLOWOUT Given the great nightlife, you don’t expect much of Berlin to rouse before 11am on the weekends. When they finally crawl out of bed, brunch is the immediate thought, and the place to get an outrageously good brunch is Café Anna Blume (cafe-anna-blume.de) in Prenzlauer Berg. Grab a seat on the large corner terrace and order a breakfast tower, which includes lovely cured meats (no mystery meat products here!), pastries, fruit and cheese.

Helen Teschauer, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

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If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum – TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

skiing and budget are not three A Christmas, words that are often associated, I’m afraid.

While low-cost flights in Europe are reasonably easy to find, it’s the limited accommodation options and pricey lift passes that really sting you. It is possible to save a few quid through package deals with operators such as Crystal Ski (crystalski.co.uk) – there can be significant savings if you are flexible. Also keep an eye out for resorts that offer first-timers’ deals. Cervinia in Italy, for example, offers discounted lift passes, while Alpe d’Huez in France is home to some free beginner lifts.

Look beyond the obvious ski destinations, too. The Bulgarian ski resort of Bansko, for example, might not have the choice of pistes or après-ski that the Alps can offer, but is a fraction of the price. It’s also outside the Euro zone, so costs within the resort will be cheaper.

You should book right away if you have your heart set on skiing during the Christmas period, as all the best deals will be getting snapped up already. But if you can arrange to take your holiday at another time, or at least not during the school break, you’ll save much more money.

The other benefit of going at another time, of course, is that if you go out of peak season the slopes will be quieter, which will make your first runs a lot less daunting.

planning a trip from Guatemala, Q I’m along the Pan-American Highway

READERS’ TIPS ON … BERLIN

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Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

NEW YORK, US Phil Clark, from New Zealand

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

IOANNIS PAPADOPOULOS, 23

SONIA SANTA MARIA, 36

Greece

Spain

BEST It was the first time I went to a techno party in London, in 2005, before I moved here. I came to visit my brother, who is quite a lot older, and he took me. It was really noisy and extreme.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Last year I went to Egypt with a friend. The way we travelled was great – sometimes we didn’t sleep and sometimes we didn’t eat, but we met a lot of people and had lots of fun.

Weirdest travel moment? One time when I was in Portugal, in a square near the beach, people started to criticise me because I wasn’t wearing any shoes. That was a bit weird.

Best travel tip? Don’t plan ahead and don’t be scared of anything. Just sleep on the beach and things like that.

WORST Riding a bike in Greece – it was so hot I almost died. I guess I’m not that much of a cyclist anyway, so it was really bad. I had to stop so many times I just said to myself, “Fuck it, I’m not doing it anymore,” and got off. » Tell us your best/worst trips, email helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

LARES INCA TRAIL IN PERU Trek from the city of Cusco, an ancient Inca capital, through the Sacred Valley into the spectacular Lares Valley.

The 10-day package costs £1994pp with Walks Worldwide (0845 3014737; walksworldwide.com).

Includes flights, most meals, accommodation and camping equipment, based on two sharing. Departs November 2, November 16 or December 1 2012.

72

THE INSIDER

JAMES THORNTON GM, Global Sales and Product Intrepid Travel

My first big trip was seven months travelling around the world when I left university, taking in Asia, South America, North America and Australasia.

My most challenging travel experience was getting stung by a jellyfish while diving on the Great Barrier Reef. I had to be airlifted to hospital where I spent 24 hours in intensive care.

My favourite place in the world is Easter Island. It’s unique and you get a real sense of being off the beaten track.

The next trip on my travel wish list is the Kimberley region in the north of Western Australia.

My guilty travel pleasure is taking long flights. It’s rare to get 12 hours where you aren’t disturbed by phone calls or emails, so I appreciate the downtime.

My top travel tip is to spend time talking to local people.

You’ll learn more about your destination than from any guidebook and it will make the experience more memorable.

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT Images

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT Images

SPLASHING OUT

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Ready to rave: clubbers get their groove on [Caption]

Berlin BERLIN

GERMANY

GERMANY

GETTING THERE Ryanair flies direct from London Stansted to Berlin Schönefeld from £103 return. ryanair.com

Reach for the lasers: Berlin clubbers dance all day and all night.

Left: The imposing Berghain building; hipsters ‘heart’ the club [Caption] 74

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All night long We brave an after-dark world of terrifying bouncers and debauched clubbers in Berghain – Berlin’s most notorious nightspot WORDS SIMON COLE

Inside a gloomy cathedral-like space, huge concrete pillars stretch up to a distant ceiling as a crowd of hardcore party animals dance wildly to yet another bass drop in the ‘capital of techno’. The music is industrial and relentless, but the crowd are loving it. Hands in the air, they’re lost in this nocturnal world of shadows and big beats. This is Berghain.

It’s hard to believe that outside, shoppers are mooching around the Ostbahnhof flea market in the Sunday afternoon Berlin sunshine. It might be the day of rest, but Saturday night’s party is still going on for the Berghain faithful, whose ethos is go hard, go long, or go home.

This city’s techno scene is world-famous, and Berghain is the leader of a pack of hardcore dance clubs serving up epic sessions that start after midnight and often continue until well past 6am the next day. Tresor (tresorberlin.com), Golden Gate (goldengate-berlin.de), Watergate (water-gate. de) and – for those with the stamina to party on through the following afternoon – Club der Visionaere (clubdervisionaere. com) are just a few of the venues in Berlin that, when it comes to serious clubbing, take no prisoners.

About 12 hours earlier, at 1am, I’m queuing outside the imposing grey monolith, anxiously watching as countless others are turned away. Berghain is as renowned for its sex ‘n’ drugs-related debauchery as its techno scene, and there can’t be a club on Earth with a tougher door policy.

“No photos!” is the command when they suss I’m not local. This rule is absolute: part of the mystique and a way of protecting privacy in an ‘anything goes’ sanctuary. Relieved to have passed the unspoken entry criteria, I nod obediently, pay my £10 and the giant bouncer thumps a big stamp on my forearm. I’m in.

I climb the stairs to the main dancefloor and see two men in the shadows below immediately disappear into a pitchblack ‘playroom’. Things happen fast in here.

The main dancefloor is packed and I feel my whole body vibrating with the insistent, abrasive electronic sound of industrial techno. It’s very, very loud. The crowd is predominantly gay and already many are shirtless; but all ages and orientations are represented in true rainbow Berlin style. Corridors lead to dark, smoke-filled rooms with couches where, after daybreak, the coloured light filtering through stained glass will be the only reminder that an outside world still exists.

Heading upstairs past heavy iron girders and old machinery (the building used to be a power station in 1950s Communist-controlled Berlin), I arrive at the top floor – the ‘Panorama bar’ – where everyone is high on house beats and various pharmaceuticals. Most are here to dance, but in unlit cubby holes, couples are getting intimate. One 26-year-old Berliner, Antonia, is taking a rest under a giant picture of a man showing off his anus. A regular, she still can’t figure out the unwritten rules for getting into this iconic otherworld.

“

My body vibrates with industrial techno

”

“I’ve seen 15 people in front of me get turned back at a time. The best thing is to come in ones or twos, but no one can say what the policy is,” she says, shrugging her ››

Tough door policy: Berghain’s bouncer, Sven Marquardt TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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shoulders. A shirtless guy with a pierced lip and a ripped torso leans over to tell us that confidence and “not dressing up” is key. Hence his barely getting dressed at all.

You need to eat when you’re going all weekend, and as Antonia says: “For a proper Berghain weekend, we party for a while, then we go outside for a couple of hours to grab some food and then we come back – and start again!”

Hours later, around 4pm, I bump into her on the dancefloor and she asks, “What day is it now?” But even she knows her limits. “You can’t do Berghain every week. And you need two days to recover. I’m not back at work until Wednesday.”

Winking, she asks if I’ve seen the darkrooms. “What happens?” I ask, feigning ignorance. “Whatever you want,” she says with German directness. “With whoever you want!”

Under red lights, she can’t see me blush. Suddenly the automatic blinds flash open for a split second and we’re frozen in the late afternoon daylight. “When do people go home then?” I ask. Antonia just laughs, throws her hands up and dances her way back into the fray. In Berlin anything goes; and it goes for as long as you want it to. ❚ More information at

Can’t stop? Party late at Club der Visionaere

berghain.de

NEXT WEEK Diamond in the rough: we explore hidden gem Gdansk

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

Sneak out from Berghain to refuel at the nearby Ostbahnhof flea market where £2 will buy you Berlin must-try currywurst, washed down with a £1.60 pint of fresh orange juice. (East of the Berlin-Ostbahnhof station, Koppenstraße 3)

In the Turkish quarter of Kreuzberg, Falafel & Falafel specialises in, you guessed it, falafel. Filling plates from £3.25. (102 Skalitzer Straße)

Outside tables and fairy lights give highly recommended Cuno a relaxed vibe. A tenner will buy you a Vietnamese or sushi feast on the Kreuzberg-Friedrichshain border. berlin-cuno.de

DRINK

Go native at Revaler Straße, which on a weekend is packed with twentysomethings hanging out on the street, drinking big £1.20 bottles of beer bought from nearby kiosks.

The perfect warm-up to a night on the town.

Revaler Straße is also home to good value bar CK-99, which has cocktails starting at £3.60 for early birds.

Happy hour is 6-9pm. ck-99.com

For a complete change of scene, head to ritzy cult cocktail bar Green Door in Schoeneberg for stylish £6.50 cocktails with the media set. greendoor.de

SLEEP

The quirky East German-themed Ostel is right next to Berghain.

Crawl back to a dorm bed from £12pn. ostel.eu

The Ibis Ostbahnhof is handily located for transport and is just five minutes’ walk from Berghain, with single/ double rooms from £57pn. ibishotel.com

Berliners are always keen to make an extra buck from short-term rental of their apartments. A swish Friedrichshain flat can be all yours for £65pn or less on Airbnb. airbnb.com

Photos: Simon Cole, Getty, Thinkstock

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Gem of the Gulf This is Abu Dhabi in 48 hours WORDS HELEN ELFER

DAY 1: 10:00 The capital of the UAE is often overlooked because of its more attention-hogging sister city, Dubai. But Abu Dhabi is starting to come into its own, with small but pretty beaches, excellent watersports and, of course, a healthy dose of Gulf glamour in the form of swanky bars and restaurants. Begin your trip with an Arabic breakfast – pitta bread, halloumi, yoghurt, olives and tea – at Shakespeare and Co. (£8, shakespeareandco.ae), which is inside the Souk at Central Market (wtcad.com). Inspired by old Arabic markets, the high ceilings and wooden latticed walls here mean cool air can flow through the building, even at the blistering height of summer. Not that it matters what season it is – the air-con is always ramped up regardless.

11:00 Hire a jet ski from the Hiltonia Beach Club (£30 for 30 minutes, hilton.com) at the Corniche for a giddy adrenaline rush and the chance to view Abu Dhabi’s skyline from the water. Jet skiing is the favoured sport of many of the wealthy twentysomething local guys, so the water often gets crowded at the weekends.

12:30 Time for one of the UAE’s greatest indulgences: brunch. These all-you-can-eat extravaganzas are almost always held in hotels (drinking alcohol elsewhere is largely forbidden) and you’ll find free-flowing booze and endless piles of food being served, from sushi to roast dinners. You’ll find good value in the Friday Bubbly Brunch at Crowne Plaza Abu Dhabi (£37pp, ichotelsgroup.com), which is on between 12.30pm and 4pm.

16:00 Abu Dhabi’s most magnificent sight is the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque (entrance free, szgmc.ae).

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The courtyard has a cool, white marble floor covered in intricate floral patterns, all made from colourful semiprecious stones. Ladies need to wear a full abaya to visit, but these are provided for free. Gents shouldn’t wear shorts.

18:00 If you fancy a few nibbles at this point, visit one of the many Lebanese restaurants in town for a selection of mezze. Usually served as a starter in Middle Eastern meals, these bowls of dips and salads are delicious and relatively healthy. For some of the best houmous in town try Awtar (Al Bahria Street, +971 (0)26 441 551, mains from £6) – if you’re really hungry, go for the mixed grill.

20:00 Smoking shisha somewhere scenic is one of the best ways to while away an evening in Abu Dhabi. At Le Boulanger (Breakwater Road, +971 (0)26 818 194, shisha pipes from £5) you’ll find families smoking, snacking and playing cards until the late evening. Get here earlier in the evening to secure a seat on the water’s edge.

DAY 2: 9:00 Fancy a ride on the world’s fastest roller coaster? Head to Yas Island’s Ferrari World (ferrariworldabudhabi.com, entrance £38). The car-themed rides here are great fun, but call ahead as they’re not always operating.

13:00 Stop at Saadiyat Island, where a handful of five-star hotels opened last year. The beach clubs here are pricey, but for now it’s the only way to access the island’s white sands.

Nab yourself a day pass from Park Hyatt Abu Dhabi (from £33.50pp if four share a private changing room, abudhabi.park.hyatt.com) and soak up some sun. Watch out for the hawksbill sea turtles that sometimes wander by.

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Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

Hands up if you wanna go faster at Ferrari World

16:00 For a real sense of the region, book a desert safari (eatours.ae, half-day desert safari £48pp), which includes dune bashing in a 4x4, a barbecue, riding on camels and belly dancing. There’s nothing remotely authentic about this trip but it’s a great way to get out and see a bit of the desert.

20:00 The enormous Indian and Pakistani expatriate population in Abu Dhabi means that some of the finest subcontinental food you’ll ever taste can be found in Abu Dhabi’s backstreets. Eating at one of these downtown curry houses, such as Ruchi (Hamdan St, mains from £5, +971 (0)26 333 434), is also a lot cheaper than dining at many of the more upmarket restaurants around town.

22:00 You can’t avoid a visit to the gilded Emirates Palace (kempinski.com) before you leave. The OTT opulence of this hotel might not be to everyone’s taste, but most people still can’t resist checking out the gold vending machine, which lives up to its name by dispensing pieces of solid gold instead of money. The lobby cafe serves “camelcinos” (cappuccinos made with camel milk), topped with gold leaf at £8.40 a pop.

23:00 There’s a branch of Hakkasan (hakkasan.com, from £8.40 a drink) at Emirates Palace, too. Stop in at the beautiful bar, which is flooded with blue water-effect lights, for a suitably exotic cocktail.

Etihad Airways flies direct from London Heathrow to Abu Dhabi. Return flights from £408 etihadairways.com

The lavish Emirates Palace sells gold-topped “camelcinos”

One hump or two? Your ride for a desert safari TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Snowsports THE WORLD

Rip through Russia on a snowmobile 80

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Winter wonderland So you think taking to the piste on skis is a bit passé? We’ve found the best heart-pumping alternatives for this snow season WORDS HELEN ELFER

Huddling around a roaring fire holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate is absolutely not, we repeat, not, the best way to make the most of the winter – unless you’ve really earned it.

So before you start hibernating, get out there to make the most of misty lakes, glittering ice rinks, white-tipped mountains and snowy forests. Don’t be afraid of the cold – you can always cuddle a husky, sip some vin chaud or bring a hip flask wherever you go to warm yourself up. And if that doesn’t work, then getting the blood pumping with some healthy winter sports certainly will – try out some of these and you’ll soon be as warm as a freshly run bubble bath.

Ice skating, Hungary You couldn’t ask for a prettier place to skate than the City Park Ice Rink, which sits between Budapest’s Vajdahunyad Castle and the Heroes’ Square. Ice skating in Budapest is a very, very big deal and the rink is a real place of pride for the city, particularly since its £13m facelift was completed last year. The reception building was restored to its original, 19th-century appearance, and the skating area expanded to a whopping 12,000sqm, with an ice hockey rink added, too.

The ice rink is actually a boating lake in the summer, but is frozen over and opened for skating in November. From then until February you’ll find the rink crammed with couples on romantic dates, wobbly kids finding their balance, showoff speed skaters and many more Hungarians who visit the park every year for a spin on the ice.

If you’d rather avoid the crowds choose a cool, crisp afternoon to go during the week, but for the best atmosphere it’s better to visit after dark, when the rink is floodlit and the surrounding buildings are illuminated to great effect.

DO IT: City Park Ice Rink is open daily 10am-2pm and 4pm8pm. Entrance is quite cheap at £3.60 per person and you can rent your skates there too at an additional cost. budapest.com

Tobogganing, France Perhaps skiing or snowboarding isn’t really working out for you, and you’re spending nine-tenths of your time on your butt anyway. Do yourself a favour and turn to tobogganing, a dream sport for anyone who wants to get some speedy

thrills on the slopes but hasn’t quite got the skills to manage this upright.

There are some great tobogganing options in the French Alps. Meribel, Courchivel and Les Arcs all have popular places to slide, but the longest tobogganing run of all is the epic 6km slide at Val Thorens – and you don’t even need any prior experience before hurtling down it.

What can you expect? Well, you start by grabbing your plastic sled and a helmet from the Chalet de Toboggan. You might experience a little tingle of regression at the point you get your thin plastic ride, but embrace it. Then you’re swept 3000m up the mountain in a gondola that takes you to the foot of the Glacier de Péclet, where the run starts. The first part of the descent is on the piste, but very soon you’ll find yourself sliding onto the toboggan run proper. This has banked walls for most of the distance, meaning you can’t go too wrong if you lose control of the sled – which is fairly likely for first timers. As long as you don’t crash too often, the slide down the whole run usually takes about 10 minutes, at a zippy speed of around 22mph.

Anyone feeling particularly daring can also take on the toboggan run in the dark, when all you’ll have to illuminate your path is a helmet with a torchlight affixed to it. You’ll be rewarded afterwards with a cup of nerve-soothing vin chaud, which is included in the ticket price.

DO IT: The toboggan run is open daily 10am-3pm and also Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings. A pass which includes rental of the sled and helmet costs £10 (or £15 if you don’t already have a Val Thorens ski pass). A nighttime tobogganing session costs £15.30. valthorens.com

Snowmobiling, Russia Is there any way to conquer Russia’s freezing, unforgiving terrain in winter? Yep, you can take it on with a snowmobile.

Karelia, in the northeast of the country, is a popular destination for those keen to look like a badass KGB agent as they tear through the snowy wilderness, and take in the picturesque vista of rural Russia. A day’s snowmobile tour can take you to the shores of the shimmering Lake Syamozero, ›› skimming over the snow through traditional Karelian TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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France: snowy scenery in Meribel; below, tobogganing in Val Thorens

After ice fishing, you can hot smoke your catch for dinner villages that look like something out of an old fairy tale book, and deep into the nearby snow-covered forests. If you’re lucky, you might get to see some native wildlife such as reindeer, elk, wolves, lynx and wolverine – although snowmobiles make quite a racket, so it’s just as likely you’ll only be catching a glimpse as they scoot off into hiding.

It’s easy to get the hang of driving a snowmobile – any tour company should give you full instructions before you set off, but most tourists feel confident after a few minutes. Just squeeze that accelerator and your snowy adventure begins.

DO IT: A one-day Winter Lakes of Russian Karelia tour with Russian Karelia Trails costs from £169pp, including transfers, two meals and all snowmobile equipment.

beginners often complain that they have aching leg muscles the next day, but it’s also excellent exercise, burning almost twice as many calories as if you were walking or running at the same speed.

There’s a fast-growing snowshoeing scene in Boston, Massachusetts – casual snowshoers in the area like to visit Weston Ski Track where there are 15km of scenic trails along the Charles River, pre-mapped for exploring. You can also hire a pair of snowshoes and take a lesson before you set off.

travel-to-russian-karelia.com

Snowshoeing, US If you can walk, you can snowshoe. That’s the general consensus about the complexity of this sport, so it’s not one to take on if you like to take a more macho, thrill-seeking approach to snowsports.

But there’s a lot more to be gained from snowshoeing than just setting out for a stroll in a pair of wellies. For a start, you get to go a hell of a lot farther than you would normally, thanks to the fantastic contraptions you wear on your feet. Traditional snowshoes looked a bit like wooden tennis rackets, but the new kind are very sophisticated. They work by distributing your weight widely so you don’t sink too deep into the slush, and stop the snow from building up at the sides of your feet, which would ordinarily slow you down. The result? You can actually trek a good distance, even in deep snowfall.

Snowshoeing is certainly a fairly exhausting activity – 82

Speedy sledding: drive a team of huskies in Sweden

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Keep an eye on the website below for free demo days.

DO IT: £20 buys you a beginners’ lesson and a trail pass at Weston Ski Track. skiboston.com/skitrack/events/specialevents.php

Ice fishing, Finland You’ve got to really be willing to embrace the subzero temperatures to go on an ice fishing trip, as, obviously, there’s a lot of sitting around in the chilly air, hoping for a bite. We’d strongly recommend bringing along a decentsized hip flask to warm your cockles on this trip (unless you’re responsible for drilling the hole through the ice, of course, then you should definitely stay off the sauce).

Once the ice is broken you just drop your line through the hole and into the water. Sure, it would be possible to venture out to the lakes around Helsinki by yourself, but unless you’re experienced it’s a far better idea to go with a reputable company with experienced guides to avoid the risk of falling through thin ice, or, potentially just as bad, getting lost. Perch, trout and rainbow trout are the most common catches in this part of the world, and you can hot smoke them on site after your fishing lesson. Delicious.

Time to head back home for a hot bath and change of clothes? Don’t count on it. As if the whole experience isn’t quite cold enough already, the Finns have a crazy tradition of jumping into the ice fishing hole for a blood-freezing swim.

They’re convinced it’s good for you. As reasonably sane people, we’re not so sure.

DO IT: A trip with Fishing Lords costs £311 for up to five people, and includes the loan of all the fishing gear you need, rubber boots and hot drinks. fishinginhelsinki.com

Dog sledding, Sweden If you really want to get a feel for a traditional way to journey through the snow, forget fancy shoes and the noisy snowmobiles. Instead, arrange a session learning how to drive a team of huskies – there’s a bit more to it than yelling, “Mush, mush,” at the dogs and hoping for the best.

In Idre Fjäll, near the Swedish border with Norway, you get to drive teams that include a range of dogs bred ›› specifically for this job, such as tough Alaskan huskies,

Shovelling snow? We can make a sport out of that

Weird snowsports Perhaps the below-freezing temperatures have addled the brains of the thrill-seekers and wackos who take part in these mad, bad and dangerous sports each winter. You wouldn’t catch us dead trying these bizarre activities, but death is certainly an option if you do…

1. Shovel racing This sport has got ‘broken neck’ written all over it. But that doesn’t put off the hundreds of crazy kids that descend on New Mexico to compete each year. They bring their snow shovels and wax the underneath to make them go faster – up to 70mph, in fact – then slide down the slopes on them. It’s so dangerous that the race was banned for a few years at Angel Fire Resort, the traditional home of the world’s biggest shovel racing contest. It’s now back on, although ‘modified shovels’ are no longer permitted. angelfireresort.com 2. Polar bear swimming Nothing to do with big white bears, sadly. This is a competition that takes place in Busan, South Korea, each January. Locals strip down to their swimmers, plunge into the icy waters of the Korea Strait and swim 80m to the finish line. Brrrrr. The Polar Bear Swim has been held at Haeundae Beach since 1988 and taking part is considered a traditional way of welcoming good health for the coming year. visitkorea.or.kr 3. Snow parkour This sport is a lot like bog standard parkour (if there’s anything ‘standard’ about extreme urban acrobatics), but those who do it seem to feel that the original sport isn’t quite tricky enough. Now they’re giving it a go when all the surfaces are slippery with ice and snow.

Extra pain is in store for when you can’t tell the depth of the pile of snow you’re about to land on. urbanfreeflow.com/snowparkour

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Siberian huskies known for their stamina and Greenland dogs, which are as strong as they are cute.

A typical dog sledding trip includes an introductory session, where you get to pet the dogs and become familiar with them, after which you get a quick lesson in how to drive and harness the team. Then it’s time to race through the snowy forests and slopes behind your furry friends, before bringing them back to the base camp for a well-deserved feed and a goodbye cuddle.

DO IT: Adventure Dreams runs reasonably priced husky driving tours that range from a few hours’ introductory session to full-blown week-long trips that also include camping out in the snow (go on, be brave). Prices start from £51pp for a two-hour dog sled tour. adventure-dreams.se ❚

BEST OF BRITISH TOP UK SNOWSPORTS Scenic slide: skating at Budapest’s City Park Ice Rink

Photos: Amy Adams, Damian Pointon, Thinkstock, Visit Finland, Getty, Henrik Trygg / Swedish Travel

Chilly thrill: sno-tubing is easygoing entertainment BEST FOR... ZORBING Want to climb inside a massive inflatable ball and roll down a snowy slope? Of course you do! Zorbing can be done on any hill but you get the best effect on snow – there’s less friction and you get a more intense feeling of weightlessness inside the ball. Head to Dorset Snowsport Centre on Saturdays 6-8pm and Wednesdays 10am-12pm, when the slopes are reserved just for zorbing. Make sure you book in advance for these sessions as they are very popular. Two goes in the zorb ball costs £10. dorsetsnowsportcentre.co.uk

BEST FOR... SNO-TUBING Arguably the easiest ‘sport’ there is, sno-tubing means clambering into a giant rubber ring and careering down the slopes. You can either go by yourself or link up your ring with your mates – the extra weight will make you go even faster. The Llandudno Ski Slope and Snowboard Centre in Wales offers a sno-tubing run that costs £6.50 for a half-hour session. jnlllandudno.co.uk BEST FOR... ICE CLIMBING Take on a terrifying-looking 8m-high wall at Vertical Chill.

The temperature is kept between -5°C and -7°C and the levels of difficulty range from an easy slab to a dramatic overhang. There are branches in Covent Garden and Manchester and prices start from £25 for one hour. vertical-chill.com 84

Winter explorers: snowshoeing is great exercise

NEXT WEEK Winter sun: Warm up in these balmy destinations Did someone say, ‘Mush’?

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ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS

GALLIPOLI TOURS ■ 3 Day Tour 24-26 APR £199 ■ 4 Day Tour 23-26 APR £239 ■ 5 Day Tour 22-26 APR £279 ■ 8/9 Day Tours 18-26 APR or 22-29 APR £399 ■ 15/16 Day Tours 11-26 APR or 22 APR-6 MAY £599 WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian Battlefields + Anzac Day Services ■ Eurostar Tour 24-26 APR £299 ■ Make Own Way 24-26 APR £279 ✔ Somme ✔ Villers-Bretonneaux ✔ Ypres ✔ Fromelles

SUPERIOR CATEGORY BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! JUN-SEP fr£349 ■ 7 NIGHTS WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Korcula ✔ Vela Luca ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac

JUN fr£389 JUL fr£379 AUG fr£399 SEP fr£349

PAMPLONA EARLY BIRD SPECIAL ON OUR 2013 TOURS ! ■ Camping Pamplona or San Sebastian 4 Days 4-15 JUL £159 ■ Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL £349 ■ Ibiza + Pamplona Combo 5-11 JUL £399 ■ San Sebastian + Pamplona 3-8 or 5-10 JUL fr £239 ■ Coach Tours 6,7 or 8 Days Depart 3 or 4 JUL fr £279

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st 98

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

10th

Annual

D THE ST AN E G G I B , THE GINAL I R O HE ST...T SKIFE

0m 18000m - 35 igh H de! u Altit

BEST!

2 1 0 2 S hristmas A c e it h w M X the ultimate NE W YE AR’S NYE higher than Kosciusko!

XMAS & NYE COMBO

NYE – COACH TOUR

■ SKIFEST XMAS + PARIS NYE

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

£649

@ Skifest Xmas Day

£489

(all-inclusive) 21 DEC-1 JAN ✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ 3 Nights Paris ✔ Coach London-Risoul-Paris-London

■ 9DAYTOUR 28 DEC-5 JAN (all-inclusive) ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ 6 days skiing

XMAS – COACH TOUR

NYE – FLIGHT TOUR

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

■ 7DAYTOUR 29 DEC-4 JAN ✔ 6 days skiing ✔ Book early!

£449

(all-inclusive) ■ 9DAYTOUR 21-29 DEC ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back SAT 29 DEC ✔ 6 days skiing

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS

£589 (all-inclusive)

XMAS – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY ■ 8DAYTOUR

22-29 DEC

£369

✔ Self-drive or train/bus to Risoul

UNBEATABLE VALUE SUPERB GROUP ATMOSPHERE! !

TOP QUALITY SNOW

l! ies!

Ris rtou

t Pa esin SkNifYE

(all-inclusive)

NYE – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY ■ 8DAYTOUR 29 DEC-5 JAN ✔ Self-drive or train/bus to Risoul

XMAS – FLIGHT TOUR ■ 8DAYTOUR 22-29 DEC

£649 £409

SKIFEST PRICE INCLUDES ✔ Return transport from London ✔ Optional b’fast & dinner daily in resort £80 ✔ Ski lift pass ✔ Ski/Snowboard hire ✔ Skifest merchandise ✔ Legendary Skifest parties & theme nights ✔ Amazing Xmas & NYE celebrations

Unbeatable skiing

OUR SKI RESORT & ACCOM ✔ Self-contained apartments (sleeps 2-6) ✔ Balcony, kitchen, ensuite bathroom & WC ✔ High altitude resort 1,850m-2,750m ✔ Top quality snow & over 150km of piste ✔ Ski runs literally at our door step ✔ Funky resort bars, shops & restaurants

Our apartments

Know before you go..... ✔ All Fanatics tours stay in self contained apartments ✔ We DO NOT use complexes designed for schools and youth groups ✔ We only use high altitude resorts with outstanding snow records

BOOK ONLINE NOW!

www.thefanatics.com

www.skifest.co.uk or call 0207 240 3223

COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon-Fri 9am-6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EGYPT 10 DAY Spirit of Egypt

19 DAY Ultimate Egypt

7 DAY Jordan Adventure

Dep. 11 Nov 2012

Dep. 13 Nov 2012

Dep. 27 Oct 2012

WAS £650

WAS £760

WAS £620

NOW

NOW

NOW

& MIDDLE EAST

£600

Includes US$270 local payment

£705

Includes US$345 local payment

£570

10% OFF

Includes US$200 local payment

DON’T FORGET! Book now for Christmas & New Year’s departures!

Oktoberfest Camping 4 DAY Make your own way

5 DAY Prostmeister

Camping

Camping

4-7 October 2012

– FROM SEATS L A ST

Y! HURR

£109

4-8 October 2012

– FROM SEATS L A ST

Y! HURR

£229 Includes return coach from London!

HURRY! L A ST CHANCE

6 DAY Steinmeister

7 DAY Grossmeister

Camping

Camping

3-8 October 2012

3-9 October 2012

FROMO AVAIL AB N

ILIT Y

FROMT SEATS – H LAS

£249

£289

Includes return coach from London!

L8291 / Y2992

TNT_1518_Travel.indd 100

U RRY!

Includes return coach from London!

Why camp with Topdeck?

Our campsite atmosphere is second to none PLUS our Topdeck cooks will provide a fully cooked hot breakfast Stay in spacious, two person, pre-erected dome style tents Air mattresses are provided Stay at the closest campsite to the Oktoberfest grounds Services of Topdeck Crew Oktoberfest information booklet

CALL 0845 257 5210

* a E t fl

Open 8am-9pm

28/9/12 12:43:02

OFF

TRAVEL

EUROPE IN WINTER

10%

Though temperatures are dropping, the charm and romance of Europe just keeps rising through the winter months!

Put your feet up by crackling fires, stroll through winter markets, warm up with mulled wine and take in the iconic sights all for a fraction of the summer price.

20 DAY Discover Winter

Dep. 8 Nov & 13 Dec 2012

Dep. 27 Nov 2012

Includes Paris, Venice, Munich, Rhine Valley, plus more!

Includes Swiss Alps, Venice, Budapest, Berlin, plus more!

WAS FROM £650

WAS £1730

£595

NOW

Includes £130 food fund

£1555 18 DAY Winter Getaway

Dep. 14 & 28 Oct, 25 Nov 2012

Dep. 15 Dec 2012

Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Venice, Salzburg, plus more!

Includes Paris, Rome, Salzburg, Prague, plus more!

WAS £1330

WAS £1250

NOW

14 DAY Winter Wonder

£1195

NOW

NOW FROM

11 DAY Winter Express

£1145

Includes £220 food fund

SEE OUR FULL RANGE OF WINTER TRIPS ONLINE!

*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.618, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

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we

europe

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

H EUROPE G U O R H T EL ACH TRAV UNTRIES O C E L B I X O S FLE L-FRIEND TIONS, M9AC A N I EW TRAVE N T Y S N E D 33 PASS & L TRAVEL 1 ESSENTIA

2 FOR 1 ON ALL PASSES *

SAVE UP TO £829 Vailid on all 2012 departures. Book by 14 OCT. Enter promocode ‘autumnsale’

Eastern Europe Treks

*

CAMPING OKTOBERFEST

SAVE £15

4 DAYS WAS £149 NOW £134 Departs Munich 3 OCT. * Enter promocode ‘getaway’.

20% OFF*SAVE UP TO £108

*Valid on selected departures. Book by 14 OCT. Enter promocode ‘autumnsale’

Prague to Budapest

RHAPSODY TREK 7 DAYS WAS £475 NOW £380 STUDENTS NOW £367 CZECH REPUBLIC, POLAND, SLOVAKIA & HUNGARY

SAVE £95

Istanbul to Split

CLASSIC BALKAN TREK 9 DAYS WAS £539 NOW £431 STUDENTS NOW £415 TURKEY, GREECE, ALBANIA, MONTENEGRO & CROATIA

SAVE £108

Athens to Split Istanbul to Ahtens

*

*

BALKAN TREK 5 DAYS WAS £319 NOW £255 STUDENTS NOW £243

SAVE £64

MINI BALKAN TREK 4 DAYS WAS £249 NOW £199 STUDENTS NOW £191

SAVE £50

*

*

CHRISTMAS IN PARIS 4 DAYS £349

FESTIVE PARTY TREK 11 DAYS £699

DEPARTS LONDON 24 DECEMBER

(STUDENTS £674)

INCLUSIONS: Busabout Guide, Return coach and

DEPARTS 22 DECEMBER CZECH REPUBLIC, AUSTRIA, SLOVAKIA, HUNGARY & POLAND

ferry from London to Paris, 3 nights accommodation, 3 breakfasts, Welcome dinner and drink, Paris by night tour by coach, trip to Palace of Versailles with picnic lunch, Christmas dinner, bike tour and river cruise, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

Egypt & Morocco One-Way Egypt

10 DAYS SAVE £128 WAS £638 NOW £510 CAIRO, PYRAMIDS OF GIZA, VALLEY OF THE KINGS & DAHAB DEPARTS 13, 27 OCT, 10, 24 NOV, 8, 22 DEC 20% * * Book by 14 OCT. Enter promocode ‘egypt’.

OFF

Marrakech & Sahara

8 DAYS £574 MARRAKECH, GORGE DU DADES, TODRA GORGE, SAHARA DESERT CAMEL TREK & OUARZAZATE DEPARTS 6, 13, 20, 27 OCT, 10, 24, NOV, 8, 23 DEC

Marrakech

15 DAYS £834 MARRAKECH, RABAT, MEKNES, CHEFCHAOUEN, FES, MILDELT, SAHARA DESERT CAMEL TREK , AIT BENHADDOU & ESSAOUIRA DEPARTS 20 OCT, 3, 17 NOV, 1, 23 DEC

Encompassed

08450 267 514 TNT_1518_Travel.indd 102

OPTION 1: Prague to Krakow OPTION 2: Krakow to Prague INCLUSIONS: All transportation with Busabout Guide, 10 nights accommodation and breakfasts, Tour of Auschwitz and Birkenau, Walking tour of Krakow, Christmas and Christmas Eve dinner, Vienna Schnapps museum, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

NEW YEAR IN AMSTERDAM 4 DAYS £369 DEPARTS LONDON 30 DECEMBER INCLUSIONS: Busabout Guide, Return coach

and ferry from London to Amsterdam, 3 nights accommodation, 3 breakfasts, 1 dinner, orientation walk of Amsterdam town and country bike tour, canal cruise around Amsterdam, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

www.busabout.com

info@busabout.com 28/9/12 12:43:25

Scotland, Wales, Cornwall & Ireland

3 DAYS SKYE HIGH & 5 DAYS HIGHLAND FLING

28

SAVE UP TO £

* Valid on all 2012 departures. Book by 14 OCT. Enter promocode ‘autumnsale’

DOING IT ONCE?

DO IT RIGHT

plu ENG s L & WA AND LES

PASSIONATE LOCAL SCOTTISH GUIDES

FREE

LONELY PLANET GUIDEBOOK

GUARANTEED DEPARTURES

“THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE” @adventurouskate

&HUWL¿FDWH RI ([FHOOHQFH

5

HIGHLAND FLING DAYS (MON ) £189 NOW £161 (STUDENTS NOW £152) Loch Ness, Isle of Skye & North West Highlands

3

SKYE HIGH DAYS (MON, WED, FRI & SAT) £115 NOW £98 (STUDENTS NOW £93) Isle of Skye, Loch Ness & Glencoe

7

ISLAND EXPLORER DAYS (SAT) £289 (STUDENTS £274)

TRAVEL

15% OFF

*

The Western Isles, Isle of Skye & Loch Ness

FESTIVE HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS & HOGMANAY Our Legendary Festive trips! Experience a Scottish Christmas in a Royal Highland Hotel.

2012

Haggis Day Adventures

MEGA HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS £439 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 5 DAYS

All accommodation and breakfasts / Packed lunches on 25th and 26th December / Mulled wine on arrival to the Royal Highland Hotel / Christmas Eve dinner and exclusive night club entry / Christmas dinner and wine / A traditional Scottish Ceilidh

INCLUSIONS:

STUDENT DISCOUNTS PREFERRED BY STA TRAVEL & FLIGHT CENTRE GLOBALLY

ROYAL HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS £315 DEPART EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 3 DAYS INCLUSIONS:

As per 5 Day Mega Highland Christmas

HOGMANAY & HIGHLANDS £409 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 7 DAYS OPTION 1 – 27 DECEMBER Highlands then Hogmanay OPTION 2 – 29 DECEMBER Hogmanay then Highlands

2 nights hostel shared dorm on tour and 4 nights hostel shared dorm Edinburgh / 3 day Skye High adventure / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night INCLUSIONS:

SLEEP WITH US FOR FREE

*

*Valid on all 2012 3 Day departures. Book by 14 OCT. Enter promocode ‘freebeds

WE’ll PAY FOR YOUR ACCOMMODATION ON YOUR 3 DAY TRIP

EDINBURGH HOGMANAY £349 EDINBURGH 29 DECEMBER - 5 DAYS

£215 (Students £205)

4 nights hostel shared dorm / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / Highland Day trip / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook

GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY, DERRY & BELFAST

HAGGIS HOGMANAY

INCLUSIONS:

ALL IRELAND ROCKER 7 DAYS (Mon)

FREE STUFF WORTH UP TO

€66

£315 (Students £299)

GIANT’S ROCKER 5 DAYS (Wed) Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY & BELFAST

SOUTHERN ROCKER * 3 DAYS (Fri)

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle, Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY & DINGLE

CELTIC ROCKER 5 DAYS (Mon)

£125 (Students £119)

WESTERN ROCKER * 3 DAYS (Wed)

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, KILLARNEY, INIS MÓR/CONNEMARA

INIS MÓR, CLIFFS OF MOHER & GALWAY

FREE LONELY PLANET GUIDE

TNT_1518_Travel.indd 103

Return coach travel from London / All accommodation / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

£215 (Students £205) Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

£349 DEPARTS LONDON 30 DECEMBER - 4 DAYS INCLUSIONS:

£125 (Students £119) Includes FREE entry to: Cliffs of Moher

TEL: 08450 267 507 INFO@SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM

WWW.SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM

TNTMAGAZINE.COM 103

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TRAVEL

Saturday 27 October

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS

Business Design Centre Islington 9.30am - 5.30pm

WEEKEND BREAKS PARIS BY EUROSTAR from £225 12th, 26th October, 9th November. Return Eurostar travel & transfers, 2 nights B&B hotel accom, guided city sightseeing tour, plenty of free time & Tour Manager.

HOLLAND & BELGIUM from £171 19th Oct, 16th Nov, 7th Dec. Return coach & ferry travel, visit to Amsterdam & Brugge, B&B + dinner & free bar hotel accom.

AMSTERDAM & BRUGGE from £170 2nd November. Return coach & ferry travel, sightseeing in Amsterdam & Brugge, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, visit to Cheese & Clog factory & Tour Manager.

DAY TRIPS ¸ Sat 6th Oct Cambridge from £30 ¸ Sat 13th Oct A Day in Wales from £50 ¸ *NEW* Sat 27th Oct Brugge in Belgium from £45 ¸ Sun 4th Nov Brighton from

£30

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £50 with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included!

LUXURY MINI COACH TOURS No more than 15 passengers with your choice of pick up anywhere in zone 1! From just £55pp

Free if you pre-register at tnttravelshow.com

Departing daily: * *NEW* Windsor, Stonehenge & Salisbury * Oxford, Stratford & the Cotswolds

Every Saturday & Sunday: * *NEW* Canterbury, Dover & Dover Castle

www.andersontours.co.uk or call 0207 436 9304 Follow us @andersontours

Anderson Tours is fully bonded

by Client Trust Account

Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR TOURS Christmas Market Day Trips York by train - Sat 1st & 8th Dec £49 Brugge - Sat 1st & 8th Dec £49

Christmas Breaks

DON’T MISS OUT!

Paris by Eurostar - Mon 24th - Thur 27th Dec £299

Post Christmas Break Paris & Disneyland - Thur 27th - Sat 29th Dec £199

#TNTtravelshow

New Year Breaks Paris By Eurostar - Sat 29th Dec - Mon 1st Jan £299 BOOK ON ANDERSONTOURS.CO.UK OR CALL 0207 436 9304

104 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVEL

Next Stop?

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CLASSIFIEDS To advertise call 020 7989 0567 or sales@tntmagazine.com

NANNIES | CARE | CHEFS/BAR/CATERING | TRADES | GENERAL JOBS | TAX | VISAS NANNIES + CARE

Hampstead Nannies POSITIONS AVAILABLE NOW FOR LIVE IN CARE AT £595 PER WEEK! DAILY WORK FOR HEALTH PROFESSIONALS TOO

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Tel: 020 7433 2525/26

LIVE-IN & DAILY CARERS JOBS READY TO GO! EARN £4760 IN 8 WEEKS!!!!

A major influx of new jobs means we have loads of live-in, weekend and daily assignments waiting to be filled. Register today and start work in less than a week!

Maximum support and top rates of pay, so try us first!!!

HOTS HIGHGATE, N6 : Live-in carer reqd. ASAP JOB HAMPSTEAD, NW3: Driver required for a GR8 lady

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CARE WORK

CLASSIFIEDS

ORIGINAL

PEOPLE We need positive people for young adults with a spinal injury. Whether it’s studying, working or partying all of our clients like to live a full life!

No experience is necessary, but a driving licence is ESSENTIAL § FREE comprehensive training & £504 PER WEEK § FREE Board & lodging whilst working with the client § Travel expenses REFUNDED Please visit www.origincare.com or call 0207 617 7894 to find out more

JOBS.CO.UK

Solving your recruitment problems!

TNTMAGAZINE.COM 111

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CLASSIFIEDS

CHEFS/BAR/CATERING

PROFESSIONAL CHEFS OF ALL LEVELS REQUIRED FOR FREELANCE WORK AND PERMANENT ROLES • £9-£16 per Hour Depending on Experience & Role • Weekly Pay • Flexible Hours • Day and Hourly Rates • Legality to Work and Health & Hygiene Certification Essential • Monthly Contracts • Self Employed and LTD Company Chef Welcome

Please send CV to: oliver.townsend@thechangegroup.com Tel: 0203 176 3748 www.thechangegroup.com We Do Not Use Umbrella Companies

ADULT SERVICES

Top London Escorts 0208 577 7713 / 0207 439 2223 Full security service transport to and from work (and interview).

First class facilities.

Start immediately earn upto £1000 a day.

Call us 24hrs 7days a week.

www.toplondonescorts.com Female Escorts Required

Professional Chef de Parties required for Event Catering companies within Central London. £9.00-£12.50 p/h. Weekly pay, flexible hours, 7 days p/w.

CV, Qual, Passport, Hyg Cert ess.

Tel: 0208 946 6342 or 0208 944 1609 Email: claire@claireschefs.com (Agy)

LIVE-IN JOBS Call Dee Cooper for immediate Bar/waiting live - in jobs across England & Scotland. Jobs in everyday for couples and singles plus great chef jobs too!

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