TNT Magazine / Issue 1519

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October 8-14 2012 Issue 1519 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

A HIGH-TECH OLYMPUS CAMERA AND 10 NIGHTS IN SCOTLAND

WINTER WARMERS Escape the gloom at our fave hotspots

IS MODERN ART SH*T? This year’s Turner Prize is a pile of poo

WEIRD-ASS LONDON The strangest ways to spend your time

! Y E M I L B E GOR the capital s it h y a D ie orld Zomb W s a d a e d e of th It’s the dawn

+ MEET UFC’S AUSSIE HARDMAN LATE DEALS HAUNTED HOLIDAYS 48 HOURS IN JERUSALEM

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CHRISTMAS IN EUROPE SEE OUR FULL RANGE OF CHRISTMAS TRIPS ONLINE!

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LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Probably the greatest thing about living in London is that you can find something to entertain you any day of the week, no matter what tickles your fancy. As if to prove it, this issue is one of our most eclectic yet. Fancy going on a zombie pub crawl (P30), jumping over the ropes to fight a bout of chessboxing (P8), or visiting a gallery to view a big pile of poo (P48)? Or maybe you really need to escape the Big Smoke for some sun (P78)? TNT at your service ...

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON

12

DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

19

LONDON SOUND

20

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22&25

CHATROOM MICHAEL BIEHN LONDON SCENE

28-29

LONDON FOCUS

30-32

SPARE TIME

34

LIFESTYLE

35-43

SHOPPING

35

30

FEATURES STRANGE DAYS

8

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36-37

Oddball is the new normal in London, with chessboxing and Cosplay big hits

CAREERS

38-39

ZOMBIELAND

MONEY

Photos: Getty, James Bartosik

27

41

The undead are set to invade the city for some extreme World Zombie Day action

LIVING

42-43

NEWS & SPORT

44-56

CRAP ART

TRAVEL

59-82

This year’s Turner Prize proves once and for all that modern art is shit … literally

DIARY

60

NEWS

61

LATE DEALS

64

HOTSHOTS

65

TOP FIVE

66&69

TIPS & STUFF

70-71

48 HOURS IN... JERUSALEM 76-77 CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

84-113 114

8

30

SPOOKY UK

48

62

TNT discovers the best destinations for a haunted holiday this month. Boo!

HIDDEN HOTSPOTS

72

Venture beyond Italy’s big three to find beauty and wonder without the crowds

CHASE THE SUN

78

Beat the gloomy weather blues with our tips for the world’s best winter warmers

78 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Features writer Jade Bremner

LONDONDIARY

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Rocking the rooftops

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad

SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com

Shhh... SECRET LONDON LIVE AT THE ROOF GARDENS THE ROOF GARDENS

The Kensington Roof Gardens kicks off its autumn and winter programme of al fresco gigs and shows this week. Friday nights will see performances from the city’s rising, up-and-coming bands and solo stars in the making, who are battling it out X Factor-style to win a professional video shoot, the winner being decided at the end of the run in the new year. Adding to the Gardens’ live music season are Smooth Saturdays, hosting the very best soul and jazz artists. Grab a cocktail and enjoy top tunes in one of the city’s finest venues. £15

WHERE TO GET TNT

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004

Fri and Sat, Oct 12-Nov 24. Various times 6th Floor, 99 Kensington High Street, W8 5SA

High Street Kensington

SINK OR SHPIN

CRAZEE GOLF

The most surreal spinning class you will ever be a part of, this Edinburgh debuting crowdwinner sees you join instructor Clement, a newly trained ‘shpinner’, who’s seeking refuge from his recent divorce and shambles of a life. It’ll be your sides sore from laughing, not aching legs, at this class.

Forget about windswept, rainy, dilapidated crazy golf courses, this ‘crazee golf’ exhibition celebrates the pastime in all its weird, wonderful, eccentric – and often naff – glory. There are paintings, films, installations, and also William Cobbing’s photos of old courses that have been left to rot.

Oct 10-27. Various times. Boom! Cycle, EC2A 4RT Shoreditch High Street sinkorshpin.co.uk

Until Oct 27. 10am-6pm Tintype, EC1N 8UN Farringdon tintypegallery.com

roofgardens.virgin.com

APHEX TWIN: REMOTE CONTROL

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

£10

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

00 4

FREE

The man who made his name in the Nineties with boundarypushing electronic music that scared the shite out of everyone – Google the video for Come To Daddy and see what we mean – takes on this project in which he conducts a fortypiece orchestra remotely. It’s either inspired genius, or gimmicky nonsense. We’re not sure. £25

Oct 10. 7.30pm Barbican, EC2Y 8DS barbican.org.uk

Barbican

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Fancy venues go loco for cocoa

The EPIC JOURNEY

CHOCOLATE WEEK Various locations

Fact fans: chocolate comes from an Aztec word meaning ‘bitter water’; it was first brought to Europe by Christopher Columbus, but first made into a bar by the British who added cocoa butter. The syrupy, belly-busting, diet-quashing goodness is celebrated in this week-long festie of sugary gorging. There are chocktails at VoluptĂŠ, a chocolate tasting menu at Clos Maggiore in Covent Garden and a whole host of other tooth-rotting goings-on. Enjoy. ÂŁ8-35

October 8-14. Various times. Various chocolateweek.co.uk

LONDON COCKTAIL WEEK

CITY SHOWCASE: LONDON 2012

London celebrates cocktails with this week-long festival centred around Covent Garden’s Seven Dials. There will be pop-up bars, tastings, parties and master classes so you can hone your skills. There’s also a cocktail tour (£4) taking you around the city with a wristband, which entitles you to discounted cocktails across town.

This annual music fest, celebrating its 10th anniversary, gives a platform to the stars of the future. Previous artists to have played their first shows here include Laura Marling, Hot Chip and even Amy Winehouse, so their taste is spot on. This year’s newbies include Ash Graham (winner of City Showcase NZ), Robert Vincent and Yellow Wire.

Oct 8-14. Various times. Various Covent Garden diffordsguide.com

Oct 9-13. Various times. Various cityshowcase.co.uk

FREE

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LONDONNEWS WHITE CUBE GALLERY ‘TO SHUT AT XMAS’ It was where the likes of Tracey Emin and Damien Hirst exhibited, but famous gallery White Cube is to close. The venue in Hoxton, east London, will shut at the end of the year so owner Jay Joping can concentrate on his two other galleries in Mason’s Yard, Mayfair, and Bermondsey Street. No decision has been made on what will happen to the former industrial site. Tim Marlow, White Cube’s director of exhibitions, told the Standard: “Hoxton has been wonderful. I hope that we leave Hoxton in a much greater creative state.” The venue will shut on December 22.

Where’s my cat? Come on, come here What Welsh singer Duffy was heard calling out before rescuing her cat and dog from her £12m Kensington home, which had gone up in smoke

SO LONG SUSHI – BURGERS ON THE UP Londoners’ love affair with raw fish is turning sour as diners opt for good quality burgers for a fast food fix. Industry specialists say demand for sushi has fallen by 60 per cent in the past year. In comparison, searches for venues serving burgers, such as the Byron chain, have jumped by 40 per cent. Morris Greenberg, of restaurant leasing specialists Cedar Dean Gilmarc, told the Standard: “The burger is definitely back and is now a ‘destination food.”

ON THE TUBE

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Rain Room: it’s pouring but you won’t get wet inside this clever exhibition at the Barbican’s Curve gallery

Secret Olympic memorial

Family scatter medal-winning dad’s ashes on triple jump runway An Aussie family paid tribute to their former Olympic triple jump dad during London 2012 by secretly sprinkling his ashes at the Olympic Stadium. Robyn Glynn and her family made the gesture to father George Avery, who won a silver medal for Australia in 1948 when the Games last came to London. She said her father never kicked up a fuss about his win, but he had said he wanted to return to the capital after watching the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. “We decided this is where he would have wanted to come back to,” Glynn told ABC radio. However, her father died in 2006, so the family decided to bring his ashes to

London during the Games. “He really wanted to be here but he didn’t quite make it,” she added. During a call from the 2012 Games stadium, where the family had watched Usain Bolt win the 200m gold medal, Glynn said: “He’s here with us as we watch the triple jump.” However, Glynn confessed there was more to the visit. “Actually, we did more than sneak him in, we snuck ourselves down to the edge of the track and in the breeze we let his ashes go and they went right over the triple jump track!” she admitted. “So we just said, ‘Well, dad’s there, he was on the run-up and he was in the pit’.”

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEK’S WORKS

BAKERLOO: No service between Queen’s Park and Harrow & Wealdstone on Sunday. Replacement buses will operate.

CIRCLE: No service all weekend. DISTRICT: No service between Earls Court and Edgware Road and between Aldgate East and Upminster. Replacement buses will operate.

H’SMITH & CITY: No service between Liverpool St and Barking all weekend.

NORTHERN: No service between High

6

Truly Asia: Malaysian dance

Photos: Getty

Barnet, Mill Hill East and Camden Town. Replacement buses will operate.

Malaysia Week is heading to the capital until October 10, bringing with it captivating culture and colourful cuisines to banish the autumn blues. Dance, arts, fashion, music, craft markets and food will take centre stage at the Tourism Malaysia event, which London mayor Boris Johnson will officially open. Try spicy dishes, watch fashion shows, play games such as Congkak, Batu Seremban and Sepak Bulu Ayam, and buy traditional craft items while wandering the South Bank listening to authentic Malay music. And in a grand finale, the closing ceremony will bring the five-day event to an end with special guests including shoe guru and Malaysia ambassador Jimmy Choo.

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Chessboxing: London’s wackiest sport

A

Weird London Join the city’s oddballs and eccentrics this month to seek out the Big Smoke’s strangest corners and subcultures WORDS JADE BREMNER Two mammoth, completely bonkers events hit London this month – Chessboxing fight night and the EuroCosplay Championships 2012. In recent years, these competitive subcultures, linked only by the fact they’re utterly unique (and a bit nuts), have grown to epic proportions. Tim Woolgar, founder of London Chessboxing, has introduced the sport to over 8000 live spectators in only three years. Rounds come in three- and four-minute bouts, four minutes of boxing and three minutes of speed chess. “Playing chess demands a lot of attention and focus,” says Woolgar. “Try doing it straight after you’ve been in a boxing ring – it’s intense.” The sport has become so popular that this week’s fight night at the Royal Albert Hall has sold out, although one lucky TNT reader can win a pair of tickets to the event if they keep an eye on our Facebook page throughout Monday October 8. The not-so-lucky can watch live streaming of the bouts on London Chessboxing’s website. But if you’d rather get in the ring than sit on the sidelines, you can have a go at chessboxing yourself at the

Islington Boxing Club every Saturday. Sessions run from 10am until noon and include coaching and workouts for just £8. Woolgar claims the sport brings two “parallel universes” together, and it’s this offbeat marriage that has seen it really take off. Opponents not only have to out-thump each other, but they also have to out-think each other. He reckons it’s a great spectator sport: “People get as excited about a pawn as they do a punch. It’s stunning and hugely emotional.” Meanwhile, as left hooks and rooks are flying, cosplayers across town will be beavering away at their costumes to be ready in time for the EuroCosplay Championships. James Funnell has been organising cosplay events in London for three years. This year, 150 entrants will take part at the London ComicCon MCM Expo at ExCel on October 26-28. Funnell explains that costumes will be rated in categories such as accuracy (to the original character), creativity, quality of materials and performance. “Geek culture has expanded,” says Funnell. “The recent surge in fantasy films has made what we do cooler, but people still say ‘what the hell?’ because

they can’t get their heads around the fact it’s not football or EastEnders.” Professional cosplaying is expensive stuff. Neil Lockwood, the winner of the EuroCosplay Championships 2011, spent a year working on his costume (of Skeksis Chamberlain from fantasy film Dark Crystal). “It would have cost him at least £1000 to make,” estimates Funnell. “He even got tips from the original costume designers of the film. They said his version was better than the one they created in the Eighties.” While you may mock adults who play fancy dress at the weekend, Funnell simply loves the attention: “We can perform on stage and everyone takes our picture, it’s a real buzz.” Watching grown-ups parade around in their fantasy finery and chessboxing not weird enough for you? We’ve only just got started. Turn the page to discover more of London’s oddities.

MORE WEIRD LONDON ›› More on chessboxing classes and events at londonchessboxing.com ExCel E16 EuroCosplay Championships 1XL

Custom House

eurocosplay.com

W 8

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A cosplayer pays tribute to Manga

“Anyone calls me a smurf, there’s trouble”

Winning Dark Crystal-inspired costume in 2011

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HUNTERIAN MUSEUM HOLBORN Come here to see body parts – lots of them – in vats, jars and displays. Attached to the Royal College of Surgeons, the museum is the home to more than 3500 grisly anatomical and pathological specimens. Check out ‘Irish giant’ Charles Byrne’s 7ft 7in tall skeleton, and the tooth donated by Charles Darwin – from a huge extinct mammoth sloth. You’ll bump into biology students, who spend hours gawking at severed hands, feet, animal corpses, foetuses and brains. Just don’t tuck into lunch before heading here if you’re of a weak disposition.

OLD OPERATING THEATRE LONDON BRIDGE

FREE

Open Tues-Sat 10am-5pm 35-43 Lincoln’s Inn Fields, WC2A 3PE Holborn rcseng.ac.uk

THE WAPPING PROJECT WAPPING Tuck into modern European cuisine at an old hydraulic power station at this incredibly bizarre restaurant. Munching on sea bream fish broth and crab dumplings or a lavender panna cotta among the concrete slabs and old machinery really works as a concept. It’s even become a trendy hangout for architects and media types. £15

LONDON TAXIDERMY WANDSWORTH

PROJECT X COVENT GARDEN

Visit this unusual shop for an insight into the world of taxidermy. The place is filled with stuffed animals, some more obscure than others, from game heads and beetles to pickled specimens. Nice.

Mix murder, time travel, cryptic clues and mysterious strangers and you get this brilliant immersive theatre experience. Unravel the secrets of Project X while wandering Covent Garden as part of a team.

Open by appointment only The Factory, 265 Merton Road, SW18 5JS Southfields londontaxidermy.com

Am I in the right place? That’s what your mates will ask when they meet you outside this Mexican restaurant. You’ll find it tucked away behind a sex shop-esque facade (neon ‘Adult Video’ signs), in Soho’s kinky Old Compton Street. Be rewarded when you finally get inside with fresh guacamole and tasty barbecued octopus. For a sneak preview, check out the weird and wonderful images (spiders, churches and women in precarious positions) on its website.

Never heard of The Room? It’s billed as the biggest cult film since Rocky Horror, and its appeal is that it’s so bad, it’s good. Its status was made after audience members stormed out in disgust. Watch it at this niche venue – don fancy dress and take along plastic spoons (all will be revealed).

Mon-Sun 12pm-1am 10 Old Compton St, W1D 4TA Tottenham Court Road labodeganegra.com

Next screening: Nov 8, 8.45pm 7 Leicester Place, WC2H 7BY Leicester Square princecharlescinema.com

£15

10

Mon-Sun 10.30am-5pm 9a Saint Thomas St, SE1 9RY London Bridge thegarret.org.uk

Mon-Fri 12pm-12am, Sat 10am-12pm, Sun 10am-6pm Wapping Hydraulic Power Station, Wapping Wall, E1W 3SG Wapping thewappingproject.com

FREE

LA BODEGA NEGRA SOHO

Now a museum, this was the first operating theatre to open in Britain, first slicing people 150 years ago. Set inside the creepy roof space of a church attached to St Thomas’ Hospital, medical students would come to watch operations (such as amputations in less than a minute) done without anaesthetic. Today you can book a tour to explore these macabre surroundings. £6

THE ROOM LEICESTER SQUARE

£30

On various dates until Nov 4 WC2E 8RA Covent Garden projectx-london.co.uk

SMALLEST HOUSE IN LONDON KNIGHTSBRIDGE

£12.50

A weird sight to behold is this 3ft-tall 6in-wide building. It’s believed to have been built in 1805, between two other houses to block a passage through to St George’s graveyard to stop grave robbers digging up bodies. There’s supposedly a tiny corridor and miniature bathroom on the first floor. FREE

10 Hyde Park Place, SW1A 1LN Green Park

DANS LE NOIR THE CITY Be completely in the dark about what you’re about to eat at this quirky restaurant – all they tell you is it’s two courses of ‘international cuisine’. You dine in darkness served by blind waiters. It’s a strange but fascinating experience, which aims to heighten your taste and smell senses. And it’s also a giggle – try cutting up your steak when you can’t see your food. £42

Sun-Wed 6.30pm-10pm, Thurs-Sat 6.30pm-12am 30-31 Clerkenwell Green, EC1R 0DU Barbican danslenoir.com

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KITTY AND THE BULLDOG SOUTH KENSINGTON

ROLLER SKIING MAYFAIR When you tire of roller skating and it’s not yet time to strap on the skis, why not combine the two for this quirky workout? Just like cross-country skiing but without the snow, it means you can get a piste of the action without even leaving the Big Smoke. The boots are like the ones you use on snow but it feels like a cross between running, skating and skiing. Book for a beginner’s lesson or a fourweek course. £24

This kooky exhibition is all about how British fashion, namely the Victoriana, punk and Gothic periods, has influenced Japan’s oddball Lolita-esque and cutesy subculture (think brands such as Hello Kitty). Expect OTT frills, headwear and eerie dolly makeup. FREE

Sat-Thur 10am-5.45pm, Friday 10am-10pm Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL South Kensington vam.ac.uk

STAR TREK CONVENTION EXCEL LONDON Some people call them geeks, some call them weirdos, but one thing’s for sure, Star Trek fanatics are here to stay. They will be out in force this month at the annual ‘Trekkie’ convention at ExCel arena, with obligatory dressing up and interactive exhibitions based on the series. Guests lined up include superstars of the franchise, including William Shatner, Patrick Stewart and Scott Bakula. £29

Sat 11.30am-1.30pm Triangle Car Park Hyde Park, W2 2UH Lancaster Gate rollerski.co.uk

Oct 19-21, Fri 2pm-9pm, Sat 9am-7pm, Sun 9am-6pm Royal Victoria Dock, E16 1XL Royal Victoria startreklondon.com

PING EARLS COURT

NAKED IN PUBLIC KENTISH TOWN

This is not your regular bar – here leather sofas meet cocktails alongside ping pong tables. As you would expect, it attracts American collegetypes looking for a raucous game of beer pong.

Let it all hang out at Rio’s Naturist Club with a load of other folks in their birthday suits. Here you can take a dip in the hot tub, watch TV, go to the tanning room or do laps in the pool. If all the excitement leaves you hungry, you can head to the snack bar, naturally. Prices vary for men and women.

Photos: Getty, Jonathan Cullinane/manylemons.co.uk, James Bartosik, Wapping Project, whereisthewill.com , V&A, Wiki Commons

FREE

SWAP-A-RAMA RAZZMATAZZ SHOREDITCH Bored of your clothes but too skint to buy new ones? Then spend a few quid and swap your outfit at this monthly night out in east London, which takes place at various hipster venues, such as XOYO and Floripa. It offers a whole new take on the phrase: I’m going to get into someone’s pants tonight. £3

Oct date not yet released, check venue websites for details. 91-93 Gt Eastern Street, EC2A 3HZ Old Street floripalondon.com

Mon-Wed 6pm-11pm, Thurs-Sat 6pm-2am 180-184 Earl’s Court Road, SW5 9QG Earl’s Court weloveping.com

ARCHIPELAGORESTAURANT WEST END Dine surrounded by Buddhas, palm trees and peacock feathers at this surreal eating experience. The menu is suitably bonkers, too, with dishes such as crocodile, wildebeest and kangaroo. £46

110 Whitfield Street, W1T 5ED Warren Street archipelago-restaurant.co.uk

£21

11am-7am daily 239-241 Kentish Town Road NW5 2JT Kentish Town rios.co.uk

SMELLIEST STREET THE STRAND Next to the Savoy there’s a Webb sewer gas lamp. Previously it was ignited by sewer gases (courtesy of hotel guests). Historically the road is known as ‘farting lane’. FREE

Carting Lane, WC2R 0ET Temple

NIGHT SAFARI SOUTH KENSINGTON Wander around the eerily dark corridors of the Natural History Museum to witness the creepiest creatures at night. The next Night Safari checking out dinosaurs and creepy crawlies is a ‘Terror Tour’, where five scientists will surprise you with their favourite frightening creatures. Make sure you head to the bar after for a well-deserved drink. £28

Oct 31, 7pm-10pm Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD South Kensington nhm.ac.uk

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MYLONDON

PAUL HARDCASTLE PRODUCER & MUSICIAN What baffles me about London is the congestion charge. It has not made any difference in my view. London’s best-kept secret is the Roman ruins that are still underground near Blackfriars. When I want to chill out I go to Hyde Park, which is great. I also go for a drink at the Paramount Bar and Restaurant, which is on the top three floors of Centre Point on Tottenham Court Road. The most interesting person I’ve met in London is a saxophonist busker I saw playing on the Underground. I said: “Do you fancy playing on my album?” And he did! My favourite place for a drink is [Japanese restaurant and bar] Roka in Charlotte Street, Soho. What can’t you beat when you’re hungover in London? The fact that usually there are going to be lots of people all in exactly the same boat. What gets me up in the morning is the thought of creating something new in the studio. What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? Tea. And switching on the news. My perfect weekend is simple, all it needs is for Chelsea to beat a rival London team. What’s the biggest faux pas you have made? Walking into a Spurs’ fan pub with a Chelsea shirt on.

Five words that sum up London ... vibrant, cool, historic, entertaining and home, as I was born in Kensington. New album, 19 Below Zero, out October 15 12

paulhardcastle.com

Photo: Rebecca Cresta Photography

The last naughty thing I did was embarrassing a few friends live on my radio show on Time 107.5 FM – I told their wives where they really were the night before!

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THE NORTH POLE

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Find exotic beers, top nosh and Pac-Man at this Islington pub

PUB THE SCENE The North Pole is where the affable, Islington middle classes unwind with a choice of several pages worth of imported and artisan beers, 22 of which are draught. This is the place to sip away on a 7 per cent smoky Norwegian spiced ale or chug a four-pint jug of Dark Star in a cosy living room environment – think Chesterfield-style benches, an upright piano, jukebox and bookshelves, with real books on them. A jovial sign says, “Children unattended will be sold to the circus,” plus there’s an old-school games room, with pinball, Space Invaders and Pac-Man. THE GRUB These are bar bites done ridiculously well. A section of the pub is allocated especially for diners, as many punters come entirely for the restaurant-worthy food. The dishes are exactly what you’d expect in a boozer (classics such as mac and cheese, chicken pie and steaks), they’re done beautifully, plus there’s the odd mindblower, such as the herby, runny Scotch egg that’ll make you groan like a porn star. BEHIND THE BAR Innis & Gunn, Schneider Aventinus and Bacchus Framboise are just three of the dozens of tongue-twisters to try out. There’s also a three-page vino list, plus fancy Orchard Pig juices for teetotalers. BILL, PLEASE Beers from £3.80; wines from £3.50; starters from £4; sides from £3; mains from £7. VERDICT A solid pub with great food, atmosphere and a brilliant drinks list. JB

188 New North Road, N1 7BJ

COCKTAIL WEEK

14

Angel

Essex Road

HOT STUFF

CHEAP DATE

CHOCKTAIL PARTY

Be brave and sip a cocktail with one of the world’s hottest chillies in it at The Cinnamon Club. ‘Don’t Mess With Naga’ (£4) blends tequila, caramel liquor, green pear syrup and bourbon spiked with naga chillies.

The Seven Dials Club in Covent Garden is hosting the Angostura Speakeasy party as part of London Cocktail Week on October 12 (8pm1am). The £10 ticket price includes two cocktails and drinks cost just £4 after that.

For a fancy treat, try Choc Tales at 68 Dean Street in Soho on October 11, a night of chocolate and cocktail pairing with expert chocolatiers and mixologists tickling your taste buds. Tickets are £45.

cinnamonclub.com

sevendialsclub.com

chocolateweek.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock

3 OF THE BEST

thenorthpolepub.co.uk

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BITE SIZE

Apero: a brilliant discovery

CHARITY BITES Stuff yourself silly and do good for ‘charidee’ at the same time by dining out at Drake & Morgan bars and restaurants this month. The folks behind The Drift on Bishopsgate and The Refinery in Southwark (among others) are selling a selection of dishes in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness, including tempura sole fillets with artichoke salad and open crayfish ravioli with baby fennel and dill cream. Yum. Dishes cost £12.95 and £1 from each sold will be donated to the cause. drakeandmorgan.co.uk

TICKET TO BABYLON You can catch a bus to babylon every night this week for free courtesy of the launch of South African liqueur Lovoka. Routemaster buses will be leaving from Centre Point near Tottenham Court Road Tube and taking partygoers to the Beach Blanket Babylon bars in Shoreditch and Notting Hill to sample some rather girlie-sounding chocolate and caramelinfused vodkas. Buses leave on the hour 7pm-10pm. Once at the Babylons, enjoy Lovoka cocktails for just £4 each. londoncocktailweek.com

Photos: Ampersand Hotel

MONKEYING AROUND Check out this month’s selection of underground whisky-tasting events with Monkey Shoulder. These part-bar, part-installation pop-ups are running regularly until November, with a mixologist and booze-blogger geekoff with a nod to New Orleans’ French Quarter on October 12 and “a night of masks and wigs” on October 26. Tickets are £20pp or you can sign up to be in with a chance of winning free ones.

APERO MEDITERRANEAN THE SCENE Hidden in the basement of luxury boutique bolthole The Ampersand Hotel in South Kensington, new launch Apero is a real find. It’s trendy without being tryhard, cool while remaining casual. The Victorian brick arches and clinical white tiling giving it a dash of London-hipster edge in the vein of Pizza East, but that’s offset by enough leather upholstery and gold edges to remind punters they’re in the nice part of town. Service is the friendliest we’ve encountered in this city. THE GRUB The menu comprises small plate combinations, with diners encouraged to order three dishes per head and share. All too often this concept translates to ‘less for more’ in London restaurants, but at Apero it really works. My date and I sample a range of reasonably priced dishes, each of them excellent in their own distinct way. Expertly toasted gnocchi with rainbow chard and smoked scamorza is a super-naughty, cloggingly indulgent treat, while the cured mackerel with purple potatoes, fennel and pistachio is the polar opposite – light and refreshing, and lent an ingenious smattering of sweetness by surprise hints of candied lemon hiding beneath the odd leaf. Quail baked with paprika, garlic and parsley is the only so-so hiccup, but the luxurious whipped potatoes served on the side all but banish the disappointment. The pastry chef here has been poached from Zuma, so we do the decent thing and order an array of desserts, too. Standouts include the olive oil, pistachio and vanilla cake – a masterclass in sponge – and ice cream set inside a chocolate casing that is melted away with a theatrical pour of espresso.

A seriously involved cocktail list inspired by artists and thinkers at the neighbouring Victoria & Albert Museum. Try the Inigo J, which blends Earl Grey-infused gin, sherry, blackberries, raspberries and homemade spiced sugar. BILL PLEASE Starter plates from £2; main plates from £4.50-£15.50; desserts from £4.50; cocktails from £7.50; glass/ bottle of wine from £4.50/ £17. VERDICT Will impress friends with your ‘secret London’ knowledge. LAURA CHUBB BEHIND THE BAR

monkeyshoulder.com/foronenightonly 10 Harrington Road, SW7 3ER

ampersandhotel.com

South Kensington

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I just saw a sign in the pub saying, ‘No Drinks Allowed Outside After 11’. I’m ALRIGHT then, I’ve only had 10

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Since moving to London I’ve had nothing but dreadful experiences with estate agents. Does letting a flat have to be so hard and full of grief? Has ANYONE out there had a good experience? I would like to see them all mashed up and made into dog food. From my experiences over the last five years they are all two-faced wolves in sheep’s clothing. Can’t getting a flat be less hard work? It’s already tough enough in this crazy city. Dave Sharpton, via email

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HANG TOUGH

Re: Tapping into the bank of mum and dad for your gap year (TNT 1518): Totally cheating! I was 18 and I saved and worked my way through my gap year. I relied on my parents for nothing and it was amazing! (They did help me out when I got my bag stolen in Rome, but I think that’s justified). Part of the adventure was managing my own money and figuring out how to do everything as cheaply as possible, so I could save my precious pennies for the things I really wanted to do. Rosey Arnold, via Facebook

Something that’s making me mad this week is all of the people bailing out of London looking for more sun. Harden up people and embrace the cold! Please shout me a trip to Ireland TNT so I can hang with some good buggers who aren’t so shy of the winter! Ben Lind, via Facebook Sorry Ben, Dave sounded like he needed cheering up more! – Ed

THE LOCAL BANK My dad bailed me out a few times, but nowhere near £5000! It’s so easy to overspend, though. I was helped out by the locals a lot... slept on a sofa for three weeks. Seriously, god bless the amazing Australians I met! Kate McCarrick, via Facebook

MOGS VS MUTTS Re: Dogs more loyal than cats? (tntmagazine.com): I have a cat, had a dog in the past and there is no difference, simply two different species and both adorable. Cats are loyal to their owners if given constant attention. Dogs see their owners as alphas and want to respect you. Van M, via Google+

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Rebecca Hausler: Re: Dogs more loyal than cats? (tntmagazine.com): Yes! You get loyalty from a dog. Cats are fickle creatures – mine moved next door when they started feeding the fat little git. C Api: I have mixed experiences with my cat. Maybe it depends on how they feel on the day. Anon: Can we all agree that cats are ungrateful, selfish creatures, and that a dog would never consider such betrayal?

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18 – 20 OCTOBER EXCEL LONDON See the world’s top firefighters battle it out in adrenaline-charged rescue challenges and demonstrations. Which country will you be supporting?

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ARE YOU A FUN, BUBBLY, SOCIABLE PERSON WANTING TO EARN EXTRA MONEY? We require professional, motivated men and women of all ages, who enjoy socialising and meeting new people. We are looking for friendly, bubbly, open minded individuals who pride themselves on being adaptable and getting along with others. Although hours are normally during evenings and weekends, they can be made flexible to fit around an existing work schedule or adapted to those wanting to work part time. So whether you work full time and are wanting to get out and meet new people or simply hoping to take a new career direction, this could be the perfect opportunity for you.

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Who’s the boss? The Gaslight Anthem

ALASDAIR MORTON FOR THE RECORD Is it not time we stopped looking at female celebrities, such as Lady Gaga, and going on about how ‘fat’ they are? Gaga’s been on tour, showing off her two-stone-heavier physique, and the web world has giggled and pointed itself stupid. Image is just as much a part of pop as the music, but this ignorant notion of skinny-cool is embarrassingly outdated, and unwanted. Gaga reacted and hit back by posting pictures of herself in her skimpies with the caption, “Bulimia and anorexia since I was 15,” and urging her fans, the so-called ‘Little Monsters’, to “celebrate your perceived flaws”. Christina Aguilera then joined in, too, speaking out about battles with her record label over her weight. The era of size-zero supermodel chic has been resigned to the waste bin of former terrible ideas, a damaging, out of touch, nature-defying nonsense – a reminder of how society has moved on and evolved. Let’s not go back there.

THE GASLIGHT ANTHEM Brixton Academy, 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL MON, OCT 15 & WED, OCT 17 | DOORS AT 7PM | £21

What a double-header for alternative rock fans – New Jersey’s all-American rock ‘n’ rollers The Gaslight Anthem headline south London’s greatest live music venue, with support from Brighton’s grungy-fied alt-stars Blood Red Shoes. Brian Fallon and the east coast US boys hit back this year with their fourth LP Handwritten, and they had something to prove. They crashed the mainstream rock charts with their breakthrough sophomore album, The ‘59 Sound, laden with hulking riffs, sing-along choruses, and tales of escaping small town dead-end-ism through song and soul. All of which had more than a hint of fellow NJ alumni Bruce Springsteen. Their follow up, American Slang, was bigger, grander, more mainstream and scored chart success, but did little to dissuade critics from bashing their Boss-loving blueprint. Handwritten, and its back-to-basics tunes about love – losing it and finding it – didn’t ditch their open highway, transistor-radio E-Street Band escapism, but frontman Fallon brought back emotionally honest storytelling that truly affected; where American Slang’s gloss got lost, this was a triumphant return, and these shows are sure to reflect that. It’s been no small year either for BRS. Third long player In Time To Voices saw the duo – singer/ guitarist Laura-Mary Carter and drummer Steven Ansell – back with a point to prove, to their fans, the music world and each other, after interband tensions threatened to derail their career. A heavier, deeper record than before, it’s the perfect intro to Springst… sorry, The Gaslight Anthem. Brixton

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o2academybrixton.co.uk

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NEW BAND

SLASH GIG THURS, OCT 11. 7PM £35

The six-string god is the epitome of guitar cool – he has a name that means piss, yet he’s still the sharpest motherfucker to strap on a Gibson. With Axl rattling around the world with his renta-band of nobodies, destroying the gutter rock tracks of Guns’ past, Slash shows, on a smaller stage, how to rock out with style. Axl, take note.

Photos: Getty

O2 Academy Brixton 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL o2academybrixton.co.uk

Brixton

DEVIATION 5TH BIRTHDAY

SCANDALISM WEEKENDER

CLUB

CLUB

SAT, OCT 13. 10PM-6AM £20

FRI, OCT 12 & SAT, OCT 13. 9PM-3AM £12.50+

An impressively stellar line-up is assembled for this fifth birthday party for the Deviation crowd, held at an as-yet-unrevealed location. Favourites Moodymann, Dam-Funk, Glasgow genre-magpie Hudson Mohawke (above), Kode9, Alexander Nut and special guest Benji B are the acts confirmed for this eclectic, genre-spanning night.

This Friday-Saturday double-header at the newlook XOYO boasts Jacques Lu Cont headlining the first night, with Alan Braxe and Psychemagik. Remix star The Magician will be supported by French electro-head Yuksek and The Glimmers the following evening. Diverse and eclectic electronic music that spans the spectrum.

London warehouse TBC Location TBC residentadvisor.net

XOYO 32-37 Cowper Street, EC2A 4AP Old Street xoyo.co.uk

LIARS

HEROES FUTURISTIC BIRTHDAY BALL

SUBMOTION ORCHESTRA

GIG

CLUB

GIG

TUES, OCT 16. 7.30PM £14

SAT, OCT 13. 10PM-11AM £10+

FRI, OCT 12. 6.30PM £15.50+

The latest album WIXIW marked a change of direction for the Brooklyn three-piece, moving away from their shouty, guitar-ravaged punkiness to an electro-led assault that’s all mood and texture, where it was screams and howls before. They’re sure to be giving it some live, though, so don’t miss their current aural experiment.

The forward-looking Heroes bunch lay on this futuristic Birthday Ball. Spanish decks legend Oscar Mulero (above) leads the celebrations, with London club star Warboy and Hannah Holland, and a live performance by multimedia, art-fashion-music mash-up master Zebra Katz. Like we said, it’s all about the future here.

The epitome of cool, this Leeds seven-piece take the symphonic (not surprisingly) multi-layered approach of the Cinematic Orchestra and inject live dubstep-influenced beats. One of the most intriguing and distinctive acts out there, and highly atmospheric in the live arena. Touring in support of the latest LP, Fragments.

Scala 275 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL King’s Cross scala-london.co.uk

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

SONNYMOON THE BUZZ SO FAR Boston duo Dane Orr and Anna Wise are equally as madcap and mental as they are primed for mainstream success. Their looping beats, fuzzy electronica, psychedelia-tinged swirls and frequent ethereal touches make for songs that flirt with pop before disappearing into something altogether far more unique and interesting. The pair met at music college and their aspirations for experimentalism and sidestepping the expected make for scintillating tunes that take in pop, r‘n’b and trip-hop, with Wise’s sultry vocals. THE CRITICS SAY “A hip-hoplaced journey into space” potholesinmyblog.com THE PLUG Debut Sonnymoon is out October 8, through Plug Research Records

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 8 Cuban Hideaway DJ Rich plays Latin house, funk and R‘n’B. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). 9.40pm-late. £7.

Fabriclive Andy C, CMX, Mind Vortex, IC3, SP:MC, Fats and 2Shy spin drum ‘n’ bass in room one, while Calyx And TeeBee, Loadstar, Delta Heavy, Culture Shock, Wilkinson, Gorgon City, Hostage, MC Justyce and Bassline play drum ‘n’ bass and electronica in room two. In room three, A1 Bassline, Matt Jam Lamont, Hijak, Rattus Rattus and Purge spin R‘n’B, urban and jungle. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £21, adv £20, £25 inc CD, NUS £15 before midnight, mems £15, £10 after 3am.

BOOK NOW!

Hoxton Ukulele Hootenanny Resident DJs play ukulele inspired music, plus live performances. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 7.30pmmidnight. £20. Popcorn Resident DJs play dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip hop. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8. Service Industry Night Colin Russell and Donald Sweeney provide R‘n’B, hip hop and chart. Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, w/payslip free before midnight. Sound: Light: Innovation DJs Max Silver, Jamie Hammond, Alan K and Zach Burns spin funky house, electro, trance, techno and dance across four rooms. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £5. Stampede DJ Laurence Rene spins pop-punk, alternative, rock and ska, with hosts Oli Sandler and Matt Boland. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm3am. £5, £3 before 1am, £1 before 11am, free before 10pm, NUS £3 after 11pm, NUS free before 11pm.

TUESDAY 9 Balearic Resident DJs spin deep, vocal and Balearic house to evoke the spirit of Ibiza. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, guest list free. Desire DJs Steven Geller, Bruno Nouer and Sven Jon spin house and electro. Covert, Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP (020 7820 6757). 3am-11am. £8, w/flyer £6. Panic Max Panic, Gaz Panic and That Perfect Fumble spin indie, electro, retro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, guestlist w/flyer free before 10.30pm. Paradox Tuesdays Resident DJs spin house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm-6am. £15, £12 before 1am, adv/NUS/mems £8. White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus supply electro, techno and indie. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £5, concs/flyer £4.

WEDNESDAY 10 Aquila Resident DJs spin a mix of hip hop, dubstep, commercial chart, electro and house tracks across two rooms. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm1.15am. Guestlist £8.

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SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO – NYE SHOW XOYO, December 31. £20 The electro-duo headline this New Year’s Eve show to celebrate the Mayans being wrong and kiss goodbye to an ace year for the capital. EC2A 4AP

Old Street

Clubbing London & Max Parties Resident DJs spin house and electro. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). Midnight-6am. £10. Disco Paradise Jo Public plays rare groove, disco, soul and rock ‘n’ roll. Joiners Arms, Hackney Rd, E2 7QL (020 7739 9397). 11pm-2am. Free. Hot Wuk Wednesdays Residents play bashment, reggae, dub, dancehall, soca, one-drop reggae, grime and UK funky. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 8pm-1am. £7, £5 before 10pm. Redux Jungle, drum ‘n’ bass, dub and ragga courtesy of Congo Natty Crew, Tenor Fly, TopCatSticky and DJ Spoony. Plan B, Brixton Rd, SW9 7AY (020 7737 7372). 9pm-4am. £5, guestlist free. Seahawks Boat Party Jon Tye and Pete Fowler spin 1970s, rock and disco with special guest Tom Furse from The Horrors. The Big Chill Bar, Drury Walk, E1 6QL (020 7392 9180). 7pm-midnight. Phone for prices.

THURSDAY 11 101Klub And Depeche Mode London Presents Resident DJs play pop from the 1980s, 1990s and Depeche Mode classics. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537). 10pm-3am. £6. Bad Sex Mayton DJs, Fin Munro and guests play electro, house, indie and floor fillers. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £6.60. Caliente Explosion DJ Karlo Scarpelli spins R‘n’B, jazz and soul, with performances from Latin dancers. The Green Carnation, Greek St, W1D 4DD (020 8123 4267). Phone for times. £5, adv £3, free before 9pm.

Floating Projects 002 Monsieur Cedric, Gonzi, Jindy S and DJIvan6 play house, disco, funk, soul, garage and hip hop. Nomad, Old St, EC1V 9AJ (020 7253 4443). 9pm-3am. £6, adv £4.

Onyx: New Era Per QX, Terry Bryan, Matt Bogard, Lady Lloyd, Tasty Tim, James St James, Tuomo Fox, Kartel Brown and Maximus Crown spin house, pop, R‘n’B, garage and funk across three rooms. Area, Albert Embankment, SE1 7HD (020 7091 0080). 11pm-5am. Adv £6, adv £12 inc A:M Afterhours at Fire.

Hot Box Country, rock ‘n’ roll and R‘n’B courtesy of resident DJs, plus a live performance from Shea Seger. Floripa, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228). 6pm-1am. £5, free before 9pm.

Resident DJ Party Funky house and dance courtesy of the residents. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Radio The Radio DJs play 1980s pop, indie and disco. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, free before 9pm.

Scandalism Weekender Friday DJs Jacques Lu Cont, Alan Braxe and Psychemagik spin house, electro and techno. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 9pm-3am. £12.50.

Soundcrash Presents Guest DJ Kid Koala spins an eclectic mix of alternative hiphop, electro, drum ‘n’ bass and experimental tracks. With support from Adira Amram And The Experience. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). 7pm-late. £15.

Take It Back With Shola Ama Hiphop legend Shola Ama plays soul, UK funk, hip hop and urban classics with support from DJs Manny Norte, Wretch 32 and Toddla T. Paradise By Way Of Kensal Green, Kilburn Ln, W10 4AE (020 8969 0098). 8pm-2am. £4 after 10pm.

xoyo.co.uk

Choke Resident DJs play hip hop, drum ‘n’ bass, electro, indie and grime. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, guestlist £3, NUS/w/flyer £4.

Juno Plus 3rd Birthday DJs Ron Morelli and Will Bankhead spin electro, punk and hip hop. The Waiting Room, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0LH (020 7241 5511). 10pm-late. £7, adv £5.

FRIDAY 12 The Anokha Session Underground British Asian music courtesy of The Original Collective, Osmani Soundz and DJ Bobby Friction. Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). 10.30pm-late. £12.50, adv £9.50. Cherry Bomb Electro and swing courtesy of The Loose Cannons. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 8pm-2am. £10, guestlist £7 before 10pm, free before 9pm. Coma 1st B-Day Party James Ruskin, Doubleleffe, 65D Mavericks, Oliver Ho, Voidloss and Surface DJs spin techno, electro and dance. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). 9pm-4am. £5-£12.50. Egg Presents DJs Umek, Stefano Noferini and Ant Brooks spin electro and house with guest DJs TBA. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 11pm-7am. £20, adv £15, NUS £10.

Ubermax Residents Sigmund K and Eugene And Mortimer spin disco and house in the Basement with special guests Swedish DJ Adeline, Kais and Supermax, while Ed DMX, Pony-Girl and Ian Robinson spin electro upstairs. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 9pm-4am. £5, free before 11pm. Upfront Project Presents: Vagabondz Loefah, MJ Cole, Dark Sky, Deadboy, Hackman, Plana, Tessela, Lorca, Boyson and Barely Legal spin house and garage, plus a live performance from Anushka. Fire, Arch, 39-43 Parry St, corner South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1RT (020 3242 0040). 10pm-6am. £5.

SATURDAY 13 Cable Present Planet V & Samurai Music DJs Roni Size, DJ Die, Bryan Gee, JJ Frost, Artificial Intelligence, Serum, Savage Rehab and Ruffstuff spin drum ‘n’ bass and jungle, with MCs Deefa, Moose and AD and live performances from Dr Meaker and David Boomah. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm6am. £15, adv £11 & £13.

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Dirty Dutch Chuckie, Zane Lowe, GLOWINTHEDARK, Mastiksoul, Genairo N’villa, Shane Patrick, Nick Christoforou, Wade Kadir, Good Souls, Dougie C, Simon “Love” Groove, Just Geo and Subprime spin dance, drum ‘n’ bass, and hip hop across four rooms. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £20. Heroes Futuristic Birthday Ball DJs Oscar Mulero, Hannah Holland and Warboy spin house and techno, plus a live performance from Zebra Katz. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-11am. £15-£20, adv £15, NUS £13. Paul Van Dyk: Evolution Four hours of trance and techno courtesy of the veteran German DJ plus special guests First State, Stoneface, Terminal and Eddie Bitar. Room two welcomes Hilton Caswell, Lucas Maully, Alvin Saal b2b Craig Daniels, Bradshaw Jooste b2b Marcello Dickson, Scot Mochan, Ben Yong b2b Lee Howe and Momentum DJs. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). 10pm-6am. £20. SJM Concerts Presents DJ Annie Mac spins dance, electro, house and indie with Star Slinger, Angel Haze, Bobby Tank and Monki. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 10pm-late. £16.20. Tempo Eterno Resident DJs play house and techno. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SUNDAY 14 Beyond 3am DJs Steve Pitron, Sharp Boys, Rob Sykes, Paul Heron, Fat Tony, HiFi Sean, Paul Christian, Jamie Head, The Oli, Jonny M and DJs Steve Pitron Sharp Boys, Rob Sykes, Paul Heron, Fat Tony, HiFi Sean, Paul Christian, Jamie Head, The Oli, Jonny M and guests spin house, electro and techno across three rooms. Area, Albert Embankment, SE1 7HD (020 7091 0080). 3am-noon. £10. Fela Kuti’s Birthday Tribute Concert DJ Koichi Sakai and the Dele Sosimi Afrobeat Orchestra play Afrobeat, reggae, dub, jungle, jazz, funk and soul in tribute to Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/cc 0870 060 3777). 7pm-late. Adv £17.50. Jaded Raymundo Rodriguez, Roberto and Rich Jones spin house and techno. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 5pm-1am. £12, concs £8. Kubicle Richie Ahmed, Louis Guilhem and Antonio De Angelis spin house, with a live performance from Remi Mazet. The Basing House, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AA (020 7688 0339). 2pm-3am. £10, 2pm-3pm free. Shiva House and old skool courtesy of the Shiva residents. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

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MONDAY 8 All Time Low Upbeat and catchy pop-punk and pop-rock from the Baltimore-based four-piece to promote its fifth album Don’t Panic. Under The Bridge, Fulham Rd, SW6 1HS (020 7957 8261). £17.50, phone for availability.

Marina And The Diamonds, Foxes Indie and electro-pop from the Abergavenny-born singersongwriter, Marina Lambrini Diamandis and her accompanying musicians. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £20, phone for availability.

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Hazel O’Connor New wave poprock by the Coventry-born singersongwriter and actress who starred in the film Breaking Glass. Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX (0844 873 3433). £20 & £22.50.

Inspectah Decka, Colt Seavers Hip hop and rap from the New York-based singer, producer and member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Jason Hunter. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £15. Kim Ismay The vocalist and West End actress performs her take on songs from theatre and film, interspersed with anecdotes and recollections. The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £20. Judy Kuhn Songs from the shows by the American singer and actress. The Hippodrome Casino, Cranbourn St, WC2H 7AJ (0844 248 5144). Also Tue-Sat. £25-£35. Majid Al Mohandes Arabic music from the Iraqi singer. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £35-£95. Alison Moyet The singersongwriter and member of the duo Yazoo performs pop and pop-rock. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). Also Tue & Wed. £45-£60. Radiohead The award-winning fivepiece, featuring lead singer Thom Yorke and multi-instrumentalist and composer Jonny Greenwood, performs a mixture of guitar driven experimental alternative rock and electro music. The O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £47.50 & £65.

Alan Price Soulful pop-rock from the former member of the Animals. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £14.

ROBYN Brixton Academy. Thurs, Nov 3. £20 The Swedish popstress brings her oddball, enlivening, wholly diverse, original and catchy-as-fuck tunes to town. SW9 9SL

Brixton

o2academybrixton.co.uk

Eliza Gilkyson Folk from the Californian singer-songwriter and daughter of the musician Terry Gilkyson. The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). Adv £15. Tyla Guy, House Of Wolves, The Tax, Daisy Vaughan, Dewi Griffiths Australian pop singer-songwriter now based in London. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £5. Chris Isaak The American singer, guitarist and occasional actor performs rock and rock ‘n’ roll from his album Beyond The Sun with his band alongside his hits including Wicked Game. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £35.

Soulfly, Incite, Lody Kong Brazilian singer and guitarist Max Cavalera, formally the frontman of Sepultura, leads his Arizona-based thrash and groove metal outfit as it plays songs from the album Enslaved. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £17.

Tonight Alive, LostAlone, Blitz Kids The Australian five-piece plays pop-punk from the album What Are You So Scared Of? The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £12.

Angus Stone, Luke Sital-Singh Folk and soft rock by the singersongwriter originating from Sydney, Australia. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £15.

Van She The Sydney-based fourpiece performs electro-pop and neo-psychedelia with elements of shoegaze to promote its second album Idea Of Happiness. The Old Blue Last, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3ES (020 7739 7033). Free.

Sud Sound System, Nicola Conte, Emma, Erica Mou The Salentobased outfit plays reggae, dub and dancehall. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £15.

TUESDAY 9 The Carolina Chocolate Drops Rootsy Americana by the North Carolina-based combo. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20. Ether 2012: Tyondai Braxton And London Sinfonietta The former frontman of Battles performs his experimental post-rock album Central Market along with other contemporary works accompanied by the orchestra. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0871 663 2500 /cc 0844 875 0073). £15-£25, concs £7.50-£12.50.

WEDNESDAY 10 Sam Carter The Midlandsborn singer-songwriter and fingerstyle guitarist plays contemporary folk from his second album The No Testament. St Pancras Old Church, Euston Rd, NW1 2BA (020 7388 1461). Adv £10. Jon Cleary Funk, R‘n’B and soul from the singer-songwriter and pianist who originated from New Orleans. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £15. Cold Specks, Grass House Dark contemporary blues by the Canadian London-based singer-songwriter, Al Spx. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). Adv £13.50.

Ether 2012: Iamamiwhoami The outfit, led by Swedish singersongwriter and musician Jonna Lee, performs electronica with touches of experimental music, dream pop and ambient to promote their debut album Kin. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (0871 663 2500 /cc 0844 875 0073). £15 & £17.50, concs £7.50 & £8.75. Flux Pavilion Dance and electronica by the London-based DJ and producer. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £14.50. Louise Golbey The young, up-andcoming singer-songwriter and musician showcases her own style of neo soul. Boisdales Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £4.50-£25. Jo Burt Experience The ex-Black Sabbath bass-player performs a fusion of hard-edge rock and alt-country rock ‘n’ roll. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12. Katie Melua Emotional pop and sultry acoustica from the Georgiaborn singer-songwriter. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £37.50. Plan B, Django Django, Sam Lee Contemporary soul and hip hop from London-based rapper, singer, actor and director Ben Drew to promote the chart-topping soundtrack to his film Ill Manors. LSO St Luke’s, Old St, EC1V 9NG (020 7638 8891/cc 0845 120 7591). Donation £10, phone for availability.

THURSDAY 11 The Blackbyrds The group reforms to play its rhythm ‘n’ blues and jazz-funk fusion hits including Walking In Rhythm and Flyin’ High. Islington Town Hall, Upper St, N1 2UD (020 7527 2000). Adv £22.50 & £27.50. The Dark Lights, Coroner For The Police, The Recusants, Christa Vi, Jimmy Button Upbeat and catchy indie electronica from the Londonbased four-piece, originally from Australia, to promote the album The Boy Who Saw Through Walls. The Lock Tavern, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AJ (020 7482 7163). Free.

Slash The iconic former Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver guitarist, born in Hampstead, plays hard rock and metal from the album Apocalyptic Love with his band, featuring Alter Bridge vocalist Myles Kennedy. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). Also Fri. £35.

Seth Lakeman The Dartmoorborn singer-songwriter, multiinstrumentalist and member of The Lakeman Brothers performs contemporary folk to promote his album Tales From The Barrel House. Cadogan Hall, Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ (020 7730 4500). £21. Leona Lewis The 2006 X Factor winner and pop-soul singer promotes her album Echo. G-A-Y Bar, Old Compton St, W1D 4UR (020 74942756). £6 wristbands. George Michael: Symphonica: The Orchestral Tour The charttopping pop singer and former Wham! frontman performs a selection of his hits as well as some of his favourite covers, with orchestral accompaniment. Earls Court, Warwick Rd, SW5 9TA (020 7385 1200). Also Sun. £51-£91. Ed Sheeran Soulful acoustic pop from the Halifax-born singer-songwriter. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). Also Sun. £24, phone for availability.

SUNDAY 14

FRIDAY 12 The Beat Ska and 2-Tone hitmaking outfit. Islington Town Hall, Upper St, N1 2UD (020 7527 2000). Adv £20 & £25. Eliza Carthy Band The awardwinning singer-songwriter and fiddler leads her folk outfit. Blackheath Halls, Lee Rd, SE3 9RQ (020 8463 0100). £18, concs £16. The Fontanas Latin, funk and ska originals and covers by the London-based combo. Ginglik, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH (020 8749 2310). £8, £6 before 11pm. Marty Friedman, Yossi Sassi, Stephan Forte Hard rock and metal from the American-born guitar virtuoso and one-time member of Megadeth who now resides in Tokyo, Japan. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £17. Ellie Goulding The awardwinning indie-pop, electropop and folktronica singersongwriter and multiinstrumentalist promotes her second album Halcyon. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25. Michelle Shocked Alt country and folk by the American feminist singer-songwriter, Michelle Karen Johnston. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £20.

SATURDAY 13 Azealia Banks Hip hop and dance by the New York-based singer. London Aquarium, County Hall, Westminster Bridge Rd, SE1 7PB (0871 663 1678). £25. British Reggae Industry Awards Reggae awards show featuring performances from acts including Tippa Irie, Christopher Ellis, John McClean and Lady Lex. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£120.

Beres Hammond, Tarrus Riley The Jamaican singer-songwriter performs reggae and lovers rock. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £22.50-£67.15. Jacko Hooper, Ed Prosek, Cook And The Case, Josh Flowers And The Wilds Acoustica from the singersongwriter and guitarist from Brighton. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). Adv £4. Michael Jackson Spectacular The world’s best Michael Jackson impersonators and tribute acts including Navi, Signature, MJ Eternity, John Moabi and Urban Jokers performing on the same stage In aid of Great Ormond St Children’s Hospital. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £19.50-£40. Van Morrison Soulful rock and jazz-blues from the veteran Belfast-born, Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter, whose hits include Brown Eyed Girl, promoting his album Born To Sing: No Plan B. Grosvenor House, Park Ln, W1K 7TN. £330-£600, inc meal, dress code: black tie, see www.vanmorrison.com for details Stian Westerhus, Ben Vida The Norwegian guitarist play experimental music. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £10, adv £8. Ben Williams, Zoe West, The Glue Ensemble, The Calamity Jacks, Roberta & Band The singersongwriter from South Birmingham, based in London, plays atmospheric alternative acoustica. New Cross Inn, New Cross Rd, SE14 6AS (020 8692 1866). £3.

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Michael Biehn The actor-director on James Cameron, being punched by Danny Zuko and the DVD release of his film, The Victim INTERVIEW ALASDAIR MORTON

Horror flick The Victim was your directorial debut – what prompted the move behind the camera? I was inspired by Robert Rodriguez when I worked with him on Grindhouse. I loved his attitude of, “Go and do it! You can do it.” He and Quentin Tarantino tried to give us the experience of what it was like to go to a double feature back in the Sixties, which was something we had all enjoyed as young men. Also, though, my resources fit perfectly for the budget I was given. Tell us about working with your wife, Jennifer Blanc, on the film. She’s a great actress and a hard worker. We had worked on other projects together before but this was different as we both did so much on this one, not just acting. And we’re very passionate and intense people, too, so that was all part of it. What sort of director are you? A crazy, intense director. I thought I might be mellow, but that is not the word. I’m more like a drill sergeant mixed with a screaming maniac! You were co-director of The Blood Bond, your debut behind the camera – what did you bring to that film? Well, I was involved but I never got to really make that movie – I started it, they finished it. The Victim, though, is mine until the end.

Photos: Peter Kinerko

Last year’s apocalyptic The Divide, which you starred in, was brutal. Does director Xavier Gens run a relaxed set? No, it wasn’t a relaxed set at all. It was one of the most unrelaxed sets I’ve ever been on! But Jen and I love Xavier and his work – he’s a true talent. You’re producing four films at the moment. Is this where your future lies? Yes. I am an actor and always will be. I just started an MMA film called Tapped [directed by Allan Ungar] in which I am just acting, but we want to keep producing and making movies. I’m really excited about the BlancBiehn Productions slate, working with [horror filmmaker] Patricio Valledares, and also Xavier Gens again on The Farm. And to continue working with Jennifer – we’ve got [ensemble thriller] Treachery in postproduction right now.

Tough guy: ‘I dare you not to like The Victim’ Which performance out of all your 80-plus roles are you most proud of? The Terminator [in which he played Kyle Reese]. Did you know at the time that it would be such a groundbreaking movie? No, I had no idea. I knew Jim [Oscar-winning director James Cameron] was a huge talent, but I didn’t know what that movie would become. Was it the most memorable to work on? Yeah, but Aliens [playing Corporal Dwayne Hicks] was fun at Pinewood Studios in London. You said that Rodriguez inspired you to become a director, but you’ve also said you’d take a bullet for Cameron – what were your first impressions of him? He impressed me right from the very beginning of production on The Terminator. He is a very talented guy, very smart and also just a lot of fun to work with. He has a reputation for being a hard taskmaster on set... Yeah, but I’ve never had that experience with Jim. He’s always been amazing to work with. Was it frustrating that your role in Terminator 2: Judgement Day was cut? It was in there until the very last moment!

I wish it was in there for my residuals, of course, but I understood they had to support the story. Have you and Cameron ever been close to working together again? We have been very close to it on a few different occasions, yeah. Was Avatar ever on the cards, then? I was close to doing it. I waited 10 months to hear about a role before I found out it was going to Stephen Lang, and I have not heard any word about sequels or prequels. Of course I would love that, but we haven’t discussed it. What has been the biggest regret of your career? There are a few decisions and movies I wished I’d done. Eight Men Out [1998 baseball movie about the Boston Red Sox match-fixing scandal of 1919] was a mistake not to do, and Internal Affairs [Mike Figgis’ 1990 LA crime thriller] was another one I should have accepted. Your first role involved you getting punched by John Travolta in Grease – did you look to continue in musicals? No. The Victim is out on DVD now courtesy of Anchor Bay Entertainment

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Their own beat: Sam Riley and Garrett Hedlund in On The Road

ON THE ROAD FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Sam Riley, Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart | 15 | 124mins

RUBY SPARKS FILM STARRING: Paul Dano, Zoe Kazan | 15 | 104mins

Paul Dano, the man whose milkshake got proper drunk by Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood, stars in this quirky rom-com by the Little Miss Sunshine team. Dano’s aspiring writer Calvin’s work gets especially real when his book’s central character, Ruby (Zoe Kazan), comes to life. How will he deal with a make-believe girlfriend that is actually very, very real? On general release from October 12

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On paper, there was no one better than director Walter Salles to take the helm of the big screen adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s highly revered beat generation epic On The Road, the partly autobiographical, state-of-the-nation, travel journal-cumnovel that occupies a spot among the upper echelons of American literature. Salles took Che Guevara’s The Motorcycle Diaries and made it a humorous, insightful, politically astute road movie, a tale of awakening of the soul and the mind. On The Road captures the same sense of changing times, as aspiring writer Sal (an excellent Sam Riley) crisscrosses 1950s America with Garrett Hedlund’s Dean Moriarty, a free-wheeling, responsibility-shirking drifter whose unshackled view of life and the world chimes with Sal’s longing for escapism. It is a beautifully shot film, Salles’ carefully chosen cinematography wistfully portraying the beauty of nature, of urbanity and of the sheer technicolour luminescence of life in all its shades. Dean and Sal indulge their hedonistic excesses in Mexico, dance and party in New Orleans, and travel the country with all kinds of hangers-on – including Kristen Stewart’s druggy tag-along. It is a tribute to the experimental, inquisitive spirit in all of us. Yet while its meandering narrative captures the unpredictability of life on the highway, in society’s hinterlands, it struggles to capture an affecting emotional journey. Sal’s growth from smitten boy to wise young man, and Dean’s journey from object of envy to sympathy, is subtly performed yet regrettably understated. GOOD FOR: Seeing a literary classic transposed to the screen with too much fidelity.

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GIVE US A

DANNY BHOY: DEAR EPSON

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Edinburgh comedian Danny Bhoy reads letters he has written moaning, complaining and telling others, often large multinational companies, how he knows better than they do. Irreverent, irrelevant, yet sure to strike a chord with anyone who has ever wondered about those little annoyances that mean so much.

Ha ha!

The Bloomsbury Theatre 15 Gordon Street, WC1H 0AH. Oct 10-12. £15 Euston thebloomsbury.com

TURNER PRIZE 2012

LET IT BE

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

The Turner Prize returns to Tate Britain, with four artists’ work shortlisted for this year’s award: performance artist Spartacus Chetwynd, filmmaker Luke Fowler, painter Paul Noble, and Elizabeth Price, for a trilogy of video installations. This year’s winner of one of visual art’s top gongs will be announced on December 3.

There’s barely a dozen lines in this tribute show, basically a chronological string of more than 20 of The Beatles’ hits. The songs are ageless and the cast does a thoroughly decent job of demonstrating the talented Liverpudlians’ versatility, while background projections recall the moments that shaped the era.

Tate Britain Millbank, SW1P 4RG. Until Jan 6. £10 Pimlico tate.org.uk

Prince of Wales Coventry Street, W1D 6AS. Until Jan 19. £20+ Piccadilly Circus letitbelondon.com

JEFF INNOCENT Tell us about the show... Comedy For Grown Ups is designed to attract an audience of a certain age who want comedians whose attitude reflects their own. It’s in response to the cult of youth contaminating entertainment – young people can come but they’ve got to behave themselves, or else!

Photos: Mike Eddowes

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen? Tramps dancing. It is sadly a dying art, a lost part of our British heritage. Mind you, dogs that get stuck together while humping comes pretty close.

HIT AND RUN

BULLY BOY

FILM

THEATRE

Dax Shepherd (Employee Of The Month) stars as a former getaway driver who is under witness protection. His past catches up with him in the shape of Bradley Cooper’s former crim-pal, who’s freshly out of jail and seeking revenge. A chase movie mixing The Hangover with Road Trip, also starring Kristen Bell as a misled girlfriend, this will soar or crash on its eccentricity.

Sandi Toksvig’s heartfelt two-hander brings an inarticulate squaddie accused of gross misconduct (Joshua Miles) face-to-face with an educated, wheelchair-bound Falklands veteran (Anthony Andrews). This short and thoughtful production is a reminder about the internal conflicts men serving overseas can bring home.

On general release from October 12

St James Theatre 12 Palace Street, SW1E 5JA. Until Oct 27. £20+ Victoria stjamestheatre.co.uk

Who’s the most unintentionally funny person you’ve met? My grandad was the embodiment of a modern day Magwitch [from Dickens’ Great Expectations]. He took me to watch The Jungle Book and marvelled at how they got the animals to act. Where was your first show? My first show was in a community centre in Stratford. It was a long, long time ago. I stormed it with my anti-Roman occupation routines. An Evening of Stand-Up Comedy for Grown Ups Leicester Square Theatre, WC2H 7BX. Oct 18. £10+ Oxford Circus leicestersquaretheatre.com

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Clockwise: zombies fill London’s streets; don’t mess with the law; cult film Shaun Of The Dead; “go on, give us a kiss!”

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Day of the dead World Zombie Day in London will unleash hordes of the undead on the capital’s streets, as part of a rather high-concept pub crawl WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

You can do many things for charity – run a marathon, bungee jump or, as hundreds are expected to do in London this weekend, dress up like a zombie and partake in a pub crawl of the undead variety along with hundreds of other flesh-hungry monsters. Yes, October 13 is World Zombie Day and the shuffling hordes are set to take over London in the name of fun, filth and raising money for homelessness charity St Mungo’s. Since it’s 2006 birth in Pittsburgh – fittingly the college town of zombie movie master George A Romero and where he filmed his classic Dawn Of The Dead – World Zombie Day has taken over the world: this year zombie fans in more than 50 cities, from New York to Paris to Hong Kong, will take to the streets in honour of the brain-eating beasts. World Zombie Day: London will mark the event with a plethora of monstrous goings on, most notably a gory pub crawl around the city, plus film screenings, live bands and even a sexy zombie burlesque show. This year, too, sees a change to the programme, with the 2012 London version promising to be bigger and bloodier than ever before. The traditional zombie pub crawl shuffles off on Saturday at 1pm with a new route to allow those somewhere between alive and dead to menace a host of London landmarks. “We wanted to revamp the route,” says Stephen Uden, one of five co-organisers. “It had been the same for the last four years or so – it’s always started at Marble Arch, gone down Oxford Street and ended up at Piccadilly Circus. This time it’s totally different.” The new route kicks off at Tate Modern and moves, slowly, along the South Bank, before crossing Waterloo Bridge, passing Charing Cross and Piccadilly’s Statue of Eros. “The change was inspired by trying to combine some of the best sights of London with all the fun of World Zombie Day,” co-organiser Lauren Saunders says. “Some people travel here just for the day so it’s nice to have the whole London experience. It also mixes things up and provides something new for our seasoned attendees, too.” After winding its way across town the zombie crawl ends up at The Intrepid Fox pub near Tottenham Court Road for a night of drunken debauchery, but not before a number of hour-long pub pit-stops along the way. For those with the stamina, the undead antics carry on into the night with performances by steampunk band The Men That Will Not Be

Blamed For Nothing (which includes stand-up comic Andrew O’Neill as a member), burlesque stars Kitty Minx and Ruby Fortune, as well as comics Tiernan Douieb and Danielle Ward. Before you think it’s all blood, beer and brain skittles, though, there are rules governing this day for the dead. “We’ve always known that organising the public and keeping them under control is very important [more so when

Zombies – they’re us looking in the mirror

the public is dressed like the worst horror film frightmare you can imagine], so every year we wait until we have the majority of the masses gathered and then we go through the zombie rules,” Uden says. These rules include: using the ‘haunted house rule’ – don’t touch anyone; don’t attempt to frighten anyone who is not part of the procession; and no trashing the place. In other words, don’t go scaring the shite out of some poor kids, and bang on some unsuspecting sod’s house, leaving bloody ››

Fine day for shuffling across town TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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“Braaaaaaiiiiins .....”

trail marks down their living room window. Do, however, feel free to get as inventive as possible with your zombie dress. “People have been getting much better at doing the zombie look, much more elaborate,” Uden adds. “A lot are using prosthetics and contact lenses, and they’re getting more and more creative every year. Half the fun is seeing what people are going to come up with.” Since WZD: London’s inception in 2007, zombies’ status has grown. Once the much-mocked monsters of horror, their shuffling slowness limiting their power to petrify, zombies were given a shot in the arm, so to speak, by Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later in 2002 (although this was about the ‘infected’ and not ‘zombies’, as the Mancunian Oscar-winner points out) and the 2004 remake of Dawn Of The Dead – both films positing the flesh-munchers as fast-footed speedsters. Even Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s hit spoof Shaun Of The Dead, which will be screened late on WZD at Leicester Square Theatre, took zombies to a new audience. As vampires won fans thanks to the abstinence-preaching Twilight saga, zombies have followed, but they’re now set to inherit the crown from the pale-faced neck biters, with TV shows such as The Walking Dead and Brad Pitt’s upcoming film World War Z (out June 13, 2013) staking the vamps’ claim to the top spot.

“Zombies and vampires have always been popular – because they touch an innate part of our humanity,” Saunders says. “There are stories of the undead in every culture, because humanity has always been obsessed with its own mortality. We’ve been interested in death and beyond for as long as we’ve been able to question our own existence, so it makes sense the thought of returning from death, being undead, is alluring – be it as the superior sexy vampire or its terrifying flip side, the brainless walking corpse.” Fellow organiser Dave Beveridge believes zombies are a reflection of ourselves: “They’re us in the mirror, staring at our mortality and fallibility. They represent the monster of the ‘group’, the mass threat of humanity. “Being a zombie is a chance to get creative, to indulge your fears and become empowered through costume,” he adds. “Losing your human skin and surrendering to the love of the WZD community is what brings me back every year.” So join in – how often are you likely to not only see London become a living, breathing, horror movie, but also be an active participant in the zomb-ocalypse? ❚ World Zombie Day: London, October 13 Starts at Tate Modern, SE1 9TG worldzombieday.co.uk London Bridge

THE BEST OF THE GORY REST...

FRIGHTFEST ALL NIGHTER

LONDON HORROR FESTIVAL

13TH HOUR HORROR FESTIVAL

Danny Boyle’s 2002 movie brought zombies to a new generation and is the inspiration for this zombie chase event, as 2000 people participate in a mass orienteering game across London. Also in Birmingham and Nottingham. Where TBC When October 31-November 3 See 2.8hourslater.com

The August Bank Holiday screamfest heads up this nationwide all-night Halloween movie marathon. There are five UK premieres, including US horror Excision, The Tall Man (above, with Jessica Biel), retro flick Zombie Flesheaters, Bait 3D and The Helpers. Where Vue, West End When October 27-November 3 See frightfest.co.uk

This festival of horror in the performing arts takes the stuff of nightmares and makes them into a stack of ghastly (in a good way) new shows. Worst Case Scenario (above) takes a scientific look at how to deal with a zombie outbreak. Where Etcetera Theatre, Camden When October 15-November 7 See londonhorrorfestival.com

This two-week fest celebrates the macabre. Its launch party is WZD’s Shaun Of The Dead screening on Oct 13, followed by a fortnight of comedy (including Jonny and the Baptists, above), movie screenings, gigs and theatrical productions. Where Leicester Square Theatre When October 24-November 4 See leicestersquaretheatre.com

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Photos: AFP, Getty, Alex Lane

2.8 HOURS LATER

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GIVE LIFE TO A FAMILY THE CENTRE FOR REPRODUCTIVE AND GENETIC HEALTH The Centre for Reproductive and Genetic Health is one of UK’s top fertility clinics but we need the help of egg donors! As many as one in seven couples are affected by infertility and may require assistance in starting a family. In the past 21 years, CRGH has helped to conceive over 4,000 babies. Some of these pregnancies would not have been possible without donated eggs. If you’re a woman between the ages of 20 and 35, who would like to help a couple in need, then please call Joy Green (Head of Nursing) on

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SPARETIME

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Resident Evil 6 xBox

Sixth instalment in the longrunning kill ‘em all franchise. £39.99 tesco.co.uk

CD

Dating Skrillex made everyone worry Ellie’s latest would be a dubstep wubathon. Refreshingly, it’s not. £13.99 amazon.co.uk

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All 17 games in this real-time strategy series in one. £22.17 amazon.co.uk

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Tech legend mixes this best of the year compilation. £5.99 play.com

Cavorite 2 App

This devilishly tough and challenging puzzler will have you shrieking in frustration, but in a good way, right? £1.49 itunes.apple.com

John Grisham: The Racketeer Book

The legal thriller king returns with this, his latest page turner, about a murdered federal judge. £14.99 amazon.co.uk

Catapult King iPhone app

Ping stuff across the sky to knock shit over – simple, but fantastic fun, too. FREE itunes.apple.com

Colin Trevor Grey: Fifty Sheds Of Grey Book

An inevitable piss-take, with the full title continuing: “A parody. Erotica for the not-too-modern male.” £9.99 play.com

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Drinking and gambling, combined in one liverpunishing endeavour. £12.99 play.com

Ill Manors DVD

Plan B, aka Ben Drew, makes his feature filmmaking debut with this stunning musical drama about inner city life and the society it spawns. £9.99 play.com

Chalkboard ‘iWoody’ Gadget

With a chalk screen and ‘headphones’ for wiping it clean. Who needs tech? £12.99 urbanoutfitters.co.uk

Prometheus DVD

The Alien part-prequel brought Sir Ridley Scott back to science fiction. £9.99 play.com

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This neat, all-in-one app lets you book restaurants, hotels, tickets and taxis for the ultimate, hassle-free night out. FREE iceapp.co.uk

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If you’re a fan of arts and crafts, you’ll love this funky pop-up shop fair from the team behind Brighton’s popular design and craft fair MADE12, which has been running since 2006 and attracts up to 6000 visitors a year. The concept is finally coming to London for the three-day event, Made London, so expect a crowd. Tag along to the stunning venue of One Marylebone in central London, where hundreds of exhibitors will be showcasing one-off designs. Buy everything ranging from textiles and homewares, to jewellery and bargain-priced limited-edition pieces. The venue in a beautifully converted three-storey church will also have a food court in its double-height crypt for refuelling between picking up characterful clocks, handmade accessories, wooden furniture, trendy clothes and must-have accessories – perfect for Chrissie presents or as a treat for yourself. OPEN October 26-28 madelondon.org One Marylebone, NW1 4AQ Great Portland Street

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

EARLY SWIM

There’s possibly no better way to start the day. Squeeze in a quick swimming lesson at 7am with Immerse, whose instructors teach individuals of various abilities (from “scared to jump into a pool” to confident swimmers) how to hone their technique. They don’t bark orders from the dry sidelines, and there’s no horrible whistle to remind you of school. These instructors get in the water and monitor your moves, every step of the way. Swimming is great for all-round body toning. And these teachers reckon they can make you more “stretchy” and nimble in their classes, too. Plus, there are theories that swimming improves your breathing, sleeping and stress levels. If you’re still not convinced, it’s an ideal winter sport – learn how to swim properly then sign up for some spring and summer water sport next year. Call Immerse to get a lesson price quote (prices start from £65), and book in for an early morning lesson. Get the workout over and done with first thing, and you can feel virtuous for the rest of the day! One Aldwych, WC2; Old Broad Street, EC2; Leadenhall, EC3; London Wall, EC2 immerse.co.uk

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Fighting fit How to become a swashbuckler: sword in hand, TNT gives fencing a try. En garde! WORDS JADE BREMNER I’m getting kitted up, ready for battle. I’m wearing a boob protector, a white overcoat, a heavy metal-meshed helmet and holding a skinny sabre. No, it’s not for a kinky Star Wars fight, I’m trying my hand at fencing – which is enjoying a resurgence thanks to the 2012 Games. Weekly lessons with the London Fencing Club have attracted four times as many attendees since the Olympics finished. People have realised it’s a quirky way to keep fit while being entertained during the process. The classes are held in the basement of an east London leisure centre. I had expected to walk into a scene like the Three Musketeers doing battle with Zorro, but instead, there are about 20 people lunging back and forth wearing leggings, with one hand on a hip and the other pointing at themselves in a mirror. “Lunge! Lunge!” instructor Alex Bela barks in my ear as I struggle to hold the pose for a second longer. He pinches my back. “Stand up straight! After my class, you won’t be able to walk,” he bellows threateningly. I’ve been crouching for 10 minutes now with my hand on my hip, feeling like some kind of constipated queen. But if I can get past this stage, I’ll be allowed to battle with a real weapon, so I persevere.

At the sidelines, stern-faced fencers are waiting for the advanced class. Some are wearing leotards, white trousers and braces, while others have Ringo Starr-type moustaches. It all seems a bit Clockwork Orange. I’m worried that these shady looking chaps are about to be handed swords. “Fencing burns as many calories as running or swimming,” says Tim Gadaski, as he teaches us the correct fencing stance and how to advance, retreat and lunge. “It’s done in short bursts of activity rather than a continuous hard workout. Research suggests this is better for health benefits.” After what has been a terrifying warmup, I’m ready for battle. Fencing master Silviu Florescu leads me into my first duel. My opponent is fast. Too fast. I can’t keep up with him. I advance, advance, advance and lunge. Hit! I manage to get him. We carry on our fight for about five minutes, and I can feel the sweat dripping off me, but I’m already hooked. I assume the posture for battle again, ready for the fight – mincing around has never been so demanding but so much fun. Beginner classes 7-8pm on Mon and Thurs. £120 for six lessons. Finsbury Leisure Centre, londonfencingclub.co.uk Norman St, EC1V 3PU

Striking out: burn calories fencing 36

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AUTUMN BEAUTY

Neon Purple Superdry A lush, fresh coconutty fragrance £35 superdry.com

Lunges: they may look camp, but they’ll make you tough

MORE WEAPON-BASED SPORTS Archery WHAT: Archery has been around for centuries but is back on the agenda after the Games. Offering a target-hitting-buzz, it’s good for toning biceps and forearms plus increasing flexibility and strength. Join London Archers and shoot through winter. WHERE & WHEN: 6.30-9.30pm every Wed. Holy Apostles Church Hall, 47 Cumberland Street, SW1V 4LY. £5 per lesson. SEE: londonarchers.com

Sword fighting

Photos: Getty Images, London Fencing Club

WHAT: Learn how to get medieval on someone’s ass at the Schola Gladiatoria, a historical European martial arts group teaching longsword skills and defence

against daggers. Oo-er. WHERE & WHEN: 7.45-9pm (beginners); 9-9.45pm (advanced). All Saints Parish Church Hall, Elm Grove Road, Ealing, W5 3JH. Lessons from £7. SEE: fioredeiliberi.org

W7 Lashtastic Open your eyes with this big mascara £1.99 cosmetichouse.co.uk/w7

Nunchaku WHAT: Nunchaku (or nunchucks) instructor John Albury will teach you how to use this kung fu movie-style weapon in a one-to-one lesson. He’ll go easy on you at first, and use foam and pads, then he’ll move on to the real thing. Be prepared. WHERE & WHEN: Choose a location and book NEXT WEEK your lesson. Each session costs from £25. Israeli self defence SEE: More info at Krav maga neo-nunchaku.co.uk

Dove Men’s Care Guys, make time to care for your face £4.49+ dovemencare.com

TOP TREATMENT: CLASSIC RELAXATION Stressed? Make a beeline for Ajala Spa for pure and unadulterated relaxation. The express 30-minute classic massage does the business with your aching limbs after a day’s work in the office. Make a night of it: go early, get into your swimwear and robe and afterwards use the facilities (the spa is set in the five-star Grange St Paul’s Hotel) including pool, sauna and relaxation room (with free tea and cake). Then go home with silky smooth skin. £45

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Home from home: work as a live-in nanny in London

Real Nanny Diaries Working doesn’t have to mean a boring desk job – why not travel the world, get good pay and change a child’s life? WORDS JADE BREMNER It’s not all temper tantrums and nappy changing – being a nanny or live-in au pair can be hugely rewarding as well as fun. A career in childcare offers the chance to explore another country, get free rent and be paid to enjoy fun activities with the kids you look after. Tempted? We speak to two nannies and an expert to get the inside track ...

Stacey Johnson, nanny New Zealander Johnson is a live-in nanny in London. She’s been in her current job for five years, but only planned to stay for two. For Johnson, nannying was the obvious choice when she moved to the capital. “I grew up as a big sister and always enjoyed looking after the younger ones, so when I moved to London, I thought being 38

a nanny sounded like a great job,” she says. It’s work that has eliminated her living costs and also made a huge difference to her London experience. “I earn enough to travel and live life to the full,” she says, although Johnson admits the hours can be long – an element of the role that puts people off. But the 24-year-old explains her job is hugely rewarding, which compensates for the hours involved. “I love the genuine relationships I build with families and children. It’s just all so special to me,” she says. While most of Johnson’s friends are cooped up in an office all day long, she’s out in the fresh air, making the most out of her time in the UK’s capital. “There are not many jobs where you get to go out in the sun and introduce

children to new things, it’s fun.” In the current unstable economy, Johnson says nannying is a smart choice, as there will always be a need for childcare, so you’ll never be out of work. “There are lots of agencies out there and they all seem to have plenty of vacancies,” she adds.

Sarah Williams, nanny Despite being a nanny for the past eight years, Williams, from New Zealand, never planned for it to be her career. “I basically fell into it,” she explains. “I had a friend who was a sole parent and I was the only person she trusted to look after her children.” Now Williams says she’s so glad she discovered nannying. “Not long after I started working for my friend, I realised how much I loved it and it’s

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB MATT GARCIA CAREER Founder & CEO of Total Boxer AGE 38 LIVES Highgate FROM London

Playtime: have fun all day long. Almost

Photos: Thinkstock

FAMOUS NANNIES We look to our favourite fictional childcarers for inspiration ...

been my career ever a child from nursery since.” The 31-year-old and they are praised by is a full-time, livetheir teachers for how in nanny in central good they have been, Mary Poppins: This magic London and loves the it reflects on the work all-singing, all-dancing nanny fact there’s no financial I have done and I feel is enough to make anyone try stress in her life. fantastic,” she adds. childcare. Luckily, being able to “My salary is fly is not a requirement for the job. Nick Bowen, expert essentially pocket Nanny McPhee: Get some tips money,” she says. Bowen works for Little from this guru when the kids are Luckily for Williams, Ones, an agency that running rings around you. it’s an adult amount places nannies with of pocket money, with families in London. Mrs Doubtfire: We really positions starting at He explains don’t recommend men dress up as between £300-£350 there is a stringent middle-aged women to be closer to per week. While that recruitment process. children, but a few strange accents doesn’t sound like Candidates have to may win you fun points. much, you won’t have go through a Criminal any outgoing costs, and Records Bureau check all bills and food are paid for by as well as have at least three years’ your employer. experience in childcare or teaching. And, once you’ve been doing the When placing a nanny, it has to be job for a while, it doesn’t even feel like the right fit for both sides, but the most work, according to Williams. important qualifications required by “The kids keep you enthusiastic, the parents are usually language skills their energy rubs off on you. Every and a cultural understanding, Bowen day is a new day,” she says. “The says. If trips to the park, stimulating art hours don’t matter as it’s always an activities and lots of playtime sound adventure, and I love all the questions like decent ways to spend your the children ask me.” day, it could be for But Williams says the best part of you. “Being a nanny NEXT WEEK the job is seeing the progress of the in the 21st century kids while they’re in your care. is one of the most Working as a flight attendant “I love playing a key part in their appealing jobs development, and when you collect there is,” he adds.

How did you get into your line of work? I coached at Islington Boxing Club, and developed small businesses over the years then sold them off. Behind the scenes I’ve always been interested in boxing. Boxing is one of my passions, and I converted my photography studio into a unique boxing club. What do you do day-to-day? Setting up the gym for the day’s training, managing social media and communications, and I oversee the rest of the business. What’s the best part of your job? The people. We’re six months in so fairly new, but we already have 80 members. There are all sorts and it’s a pleasure to train them. What’s the most challenging part? The promotional aspect – marketing, organising and growing. And also, managing my ambition. totalboxer.com

HOW TO...

GET NOTICED Lack of response from your job applications? Get ahead of other candidates with these tricks ...

• If you work in a creative

industry, try sending a short introduction video of yourself with your application.

• Send a follow up email.

Sometimes applications do get lost, jog their memory with a note.

• Still no reply? Phone them

and ask if they have got your application and when you will hear from them.

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CASH-SAVING TIPS

LIFESTYLEMONEY

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

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BUY A HOOVER Apparently this is the ideal XXXXXXXXX season to get yourself all Xxxxxxxxxxx domesticated, as it’s cold, damp and rainy. So go XXXXXXXXX shopping in Comet – Xxxxxxxxxxx they’ve currently got an up to 40 per cent off sale XXXXXXXXX on everything from Xxxxxxxxxxx laptops to washing machines, fridges and XXXXXXXXX other electrical appliances. Xxxxxxxxxxx The best bit is that you don’t have to even leave the comfort of your sofa. Visit comet.co.uk.

Photos: Getty

TRIP TO SCOTLAND Tune Hotels in Scotland is offering up 1000 double rooms for only £5pn, so get yourself a highland fling on the cheap. Stays must be between Jan-Feb 2013. The budget hotel chain is also offering £35pn rooms in its King’s Cross hotel, valid for various dates. More details at tunehotels.com. THIRSTY? Don’t spend your hardearned cash on fluids, get them for free. This week premier-stores.co.uk are giving away vouchers for free Lucozade Energy. Just print it off and take it in store to redeem your tasty beverage. You’ll be wired at work all week.

finances, don’t overspend and don’t put anything on a credit card.

JOB University staff FROM London LIVES London

prioritise a few things such as food, drinks and going out every once in a while. I’m not a big spender.

How do you budget? With great difficulty. It’s quite hard to get by. I just

Do you have any moneysaving tips? Keep a close eye on your

JESS BARTLETT, 30

Last big blow-out? I just had to buy a new computer, as my old one gave up and died. I bought a £1000 Mac, which was a painful purchase. It’s working fine but I wish I’d bought it because I wanted to, not because I had to. What non-essential items do you spend money on? I love buying music and can’t go without getting my hair cut. Actually, I’ve just had my hair cut for £40.

HOW THEY MAKE IT! Rich celebrities rated Oprah Winfrey topped the Forbes highest paid celebrities of 2012 list – she earned the title for the fourth time in a row with an estimated $165m (£102m) from her media empire

❚ Movie producer/director Steven Spielberg is up there with Oprah. He earned much of his $130m (£80.5m) from residuals thanks to his hit films showing on TV, box office smashes War Horse and The Adventures of Tin Tin, and his various TV shows. ❚ Producer Dr Dre is fifth, Dr Dre is a god of rap, but is minted due to headphones

and not for music. Forbes estimate he’s made $110m (£68m) from headphones.

❚ Most of the $90m (£55.7m) George Lucas raked in last year was due to Star Wars royalties – he just had to wake up. He pumps a lot of that money back into his visual effects company. ❚ Not surprisingly, Simon Cowell is up there with the $90m (£55.7m) earners. The boy band One Direction, on his Syco label, has earned him the big bucks this year.

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

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London’s coolest villages Sick of living in a concrete jungle, but love the capital? Consider holing up in a quaint urban pocket WORDS JADE BREMNER

00

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Who could have predicted living in a village would be so cool? At the moment, if you reside in London, look like a farm boy and sleep in a cottage, you’ve probably never been so desirable. Sandwiched between office blocks and council estates are these bustling pockets of almost-country life. In them you’ll find independent shops, pubs, restaurants and a real community vibe. Here are our favourites.

Stoke Newington, N16

95

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the most desirable areas to live right now. Arty-types playing on MacBooks all day long occupy the high-ceilinged, Victorian houses with vintage wooden floorboards. SHOP: HE Tidiman is an old-fashioned family butchers that has been here for more than 50 years. They’ll cut your steaks as thick as your fist, and the quality of the meat is incredible (57 Broadway Market, E8 4PH). DRINK: You can’t get more villagey than a proper tea shop. Gossip is a modern take on

WHAT: An organic haven, there’s probably more fresh produce in this area than on a working farm. ‘Stokey’, as locals say, is hugely multicultural and dotted with indie boutiques and gift shops. And there are community flea markets at the weekends. SHOP: Lucky Seven is one of the remaining few independent record shops in London. They sell tastemaker vinyl, carefully selected books as well as Marvel Comics (127 Church Street, N16 0UH). DRINK: Jolly Butchers (jollybutchers.co.uk) is a place where punters actually chat to one another, rather than giving that scornful London expression we all know so well. EAT: Restaurants range from Sardinian to Spanish with the odd kebab shop thrown in for good measure. The Keralan cuisine at Rasa (rasarestaurants.com) is well worth a try, and it’s exceptional value for money.

the UK’s fave brew. Here they sell funky cups, pots and shedloads of different flavoured leaves (62 Broadway Market, E8 4PH). EAT: Come to Market Cafe’s Fifties decorinspired interiors for truffled rarebit, squid salad and tagliatelle – all bloody delicious, though a tad more expensive than your average cafe (2 Broadway Market, E8 4PH).

Broadway Market, E8

Crouch End, N19

WHAT: The canals, ye olde shop fronts and a hip east London twist make this one of

WHAT: In Crouch End you’ll find high-end chains such as Waitrose, plus spas, nail bars

Chilled out: Walthamstow and, above right, Crouch End

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YOUR VIEW CATHERINE HILTON

Physiotherapist Lives: Enfield

“I have an uncle in Walthamstow and we would visit him to go to the village festival every year. It has a cool historical feel, like in Shakespearian times.”

SOPHIE BOITZ

Unemployed Lives: Whitechapel

Bustling: village life in Greenwich and indie restaurants, all of which are frequented by yummy mummies. SHOP: Vintage design store Scarecrow Boutique (scarecrowboutique.com) sells shoes, clothes, jewellery as well as petticoats, masks and feather boas. DRINK: Head to independent milkshake and smoothie shop Shake My Shake (shakemyshake.com) which scooped the British Smoothie Championships 2012 prize. EAT: Banners (bannersrestaurant.com) serves hearty portions of Jamaican goat curry in its warm hotchpotch setting of antique furniture and popcorn machines.

Photos: Getty

Walthamstow Village, E17 WHAT: It’s not all rude boys and rappers. In the leafy village, there’s a different ilk. An active Residents’ Association organises fetes, street parties and street theatre. SHOP: You’ll spend lots of time in The Village Store (spar.co.uk), with its fresh instore bakery. There’s also a pizzeria selling bases slathered in Napoli-sourced tomatoes, mozzarella and organic ham from Dorset. DRINK: The owners of the cosy Nag’s Head (thenagsheade17.com) let their cat roam around the pub like it’s a living room; they also love a Sunday jazz jamming session. The friendly place attracts beardy ale drinkers. EAT: Eat17 (eat17.co.uk) is all about UKsourced grub. The pork is from Surrey; chickens and eggs from the West Midlands; and juice from Devon. Dishes include piggy puffs and apple ginger puree, plus bubble and squeak cake.

“I love Greenwich Village, especially around Christmas time. It has a holiday-themed market and there are carolers everywhere. It’s great the rest of the year as well.”

BEHRAM ASKARI

Student Lives: Pimlico

Greenwich, SE10 WHAT: Nautical-themed Greenwich is where time began. Not only can you hop over to north London on the Emirates Air Line, but you can enjoy independent restaurants, offbeat shops and a rocking weekend market selling top local produce. SHOP: Joy (joythestore.com) is all about random gifts and ridiculously pretty outfits. Take home an emergency moustache, a ‘Gay Bar’ of soap, or a floral retro-style dress. DRINK: Sup decent local brews at Greenwich Union (greenwichunion.com), which only serves Meantime Brewery beers. Particular favourites are the Chocolate Porter and the Raspberry Wheat. EAT: Noodle Time is popular with students and locals, offering more than 120 dishes from Asia for just a NEXT WEEK few quid. Try a huge bowl of chicken soup Spotlight on living in noodles (10-11 Nelson Shoreditch Road, SE10 9JB).

“Brick Lane during the week has a great village feel. I like the atmosphere and the people. Go to Old Spitalfields Market and eat at Giraffe. The food is great.”

ANJE RICHTER

Student Lives: Bromley

“My friend just moved to Stoke Newington and she loves it. I can’t wait to visit. There’s so much going on there. It’s a really happening place with bars and cafes.”

FEYRE ADI

Student Lives: Bayswater

“I love most of the villages in London but my favourite has to be Wimbledon. I love the environment. I want to go back and go into all the shops. There are so many.” TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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WORLDVIEW

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Can you tell what it is yet?

KIWI BIRD SPOTTED ON MARS. NO, REALLY AUSTRALIA An astronomy geek following Nasa’s Mars exploration has spotted the outline of a kiwi on the Red Planet. Ned Walker, who originally hails from New Zealand but is now living in Australia, said the shape was unmistakable. “I have a huge interest in the Mars Curiosity Rover and I like to look at the raw images Nasa uploads onto its site each day from the Rover’s cameras,” he said. ‘‘I was amazed to find what can only be described as a kiwi.” Curiosity landed on Mars in August so has only just started beaming images. TWEETS OF THE WEEK @frankieboyle Limited edition scrotum flavoured Marmite #ThingsBetterThanTowie

When sports fans go too far: Alice Homer (left) and Dennis Homer (second left) in their Melbourne Storm NRL paraphernalia-adorned home along with fellow supporters during NRL Grand Final Week in Melbourne. Too much purple anyone? No? Just us then...

@LouiseStewart Romney looks like a guy you’d hire to act like a president in a US themed party you’re throwing @ObamaNews Mitt Romney’s debate performance: “mostly fiction”

FARMER EATEN BY HIS OWN PIGS UNITED STATES An Oregon farmer has been eaten by his own pigs in a case that sounds like something out of a horror movie. Terry Vance Garner went out to feed his animals and never returned. His remains, including his dentures and other parts of his body, were discovered hours later. The possibility that he suffered a heart attack is being considered, but a pathologist was unable to confirm. “For all we know it was a horrific accident, but it’s so doggone weird that 44

we have to look at all possibilities,” District Attorney Paul Frasier said. One of the pigs is known to have bitten Garner before, and it is possible that while feeding his animals, he could have been knocked over and then consumed. Pigs are omnivorous but are not as dangerous as their wild, feral counterparts.

KITTY IN A SPIN AFTER 55-MIN CYCLE NEW ZEALAND A family cat is one life down after being put through one hell of a spin. Adele Law put some clothes in the washing machine then went for a shower. After getting ready, she put on another load, then took the

family out for the day. They returned later to a shrieking sound coming from the machine, where they found Possum. Unbeknown to its owners, the moggy had climbed in between washes, and had gone through a 55-minute ordeal, which included a rinse and two spin cycles. “It was the most horrendous sound you have ever heard,” Law, from Gisborne, New Zealand, said. “I looked at the washing machine and said, ‘You’ve got to be joking’.” The cat emerged, looking like a “half dead skinny rat” but, remarkably, survived.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 55

Desperate times: Gray gets his kit off to sell homes

Size, in feet, of hole left in wall after four men in balaclavas used a stolen digger to break into an ATM in Lincolnshire

REAL ESTATE AGENT STRIPS TO SELL HOME AUSTRALIA A real estate agent is hoping to shift houses by getting semi-naked in promotional videos. Ray White Maroochydore’s Kieren Gray, who, it has to be said, is pretty fit, tells viewers in a YouTube clip: “This property’s so hot you’ve got to take your gear off before you go inside.” He then skips up the driveway in his budgie smugglers, through the front door, and past a bikini-clad woman on the couch, in a bid to plug the property in Maroochydore, Queensland. Gray reckons the three-bedroom, onebathroom townhouse on the Sunshine Coast, on the market for AU$257,000 (£163,161) is “so hot, this won’t be on the market for long”, adding the courtyard is so private, “you could even get naked”. Let’s hope he doesn’t start a new property trend.

NEW DINOSAUR FOUND IN ROCK

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock, Todd Marshall

SOUTH AFRICA Experts have identified a new, catsized dinosaur in a piece of rock from South Africa. Described as a cross between “a bird, a vampire and a porcupine”, the odd-looking species has been named Pegomastax africanus or “thick jaw from Africa”. It lived between 100 million and 200 million years ago, according to University of Chicago paleontologist Paul Sereno, who published the findings in the online

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Thousands of pounds a mother from Gloucester claimed in benefits by pretending her son had cancer over three years

13

12

Amount, measured in teaspoons, of sugar in the super-sized, 473ml can of Red Bull. That’ll definitely give you wings

Cash, in pounds, spent on an educational video advising foreign students at Cambridge not to binge drink like Brits

3000

New dino: the Pegomastax scientific journal ZooKeys. “I describe it as a bird, a vampire and a porcupine,” Sereno said about the creature, which stood less than a foot off of the ground.

HAIR TODAY ... 4LB BALL FOUND IN GIRL INDIA A ball of hair and chalk weighing 4lb was found inside a teenager after she wasn’t able to eat or drink for days. Doctors investigating the 19-year-old student’s case discovered she would chew on her locks while sitting in class. She would also chomp on sticks of chalk, and the combination built up inside her body. Dr Parvinder Singh Lubana led surgeons through the procedure at Maharaja Yeshwantrao Hospital in Indore. He said the hair and chalk had created a blockage between her stomach and small intenstine. Remarkably, it’s not the biggest ball of hair to be removed from inside a human. That prize goes to an 18-year-old American woman, after doctors removed a ball of hair weighing 10lb. Nice.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I’m smart Cameron Diaz is quick to respond when asked why she has never married

5/10/12 15:29:49


tntjobs.co.uk ORIGIN T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week

Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses! Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

CHANGE HOSPITALITY

JOB OF THE WEEK: Freelance Chef De Partie or Sous Chef Location: London Salary: £9.00-£15.00 per Hour / £450-£750

T: 020 317 63748 www.thechangegroup.com We Supply Freelance and Permanent Chefs to Top London Restaurants: Michelin / Rosette, Events Caterers & Band / Tour Catering.

COMMUNITY CASE MANAGEMENT SERVICES T: 01608 682522 www.ccmservices.co.uk We are a Case Management Company providing case management for our brain and spinally injured clients.

SLATER BESPOKE JOINERY (LONDON) T: 075 1585 0356 www.slater-joinery.com Slater London is a high-end bespoke joinery company working from a modern workshop in Southfields.

FINCHES SKI & SNOWBOARD T: 020 8699 6768 www.finchesemporium.com Well established family run winter sports shop.

John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

We are looking for chefs of all levels to work at a well known restaurant in central London. To work a rota working 50-60 Hours a week, 5 days a week, from October till December. You must have Rosette / Michelin /1-2 Hat Chef Experience. Oliver Townsend | 02031763748 | oliver.townsend@thechangegroup.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Support Workers Location: St John’s Wood, London Nw8 Salary: £13.00 per hour weekdays, £15.00 per hour weekends Enthusiastic, positive support workers for 32 year old man with acquired brain injury and profound needs for personal care plus socialising and accessing community. Working with family and therapists. 12.5 hour shifts. Driver essential. liz@ccmservices.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Cabinet Maker/Bench Joiner Location: South West London SW18 Salary: £14 p/h (40+ hrs) Looking to employ a trade qualified bench joiner experienced in high-end finishes. Must be able to conduct site surveys, manufacture and fit. Fluent English/clean driving licence essential. Quote Ref DPTL Joel Molinari | 07515 850 356 | joel@slater-joinery.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Ski Workshop Technician Location: Forest Hill - SE London Salary: To be discussed Training given but must be mechanical minded & ready to maintain the high standard of finish when servicing skis & snowboards using wintersteiger equipment. Angela Finch | 020 8699 6768 or email with cv to finches@btinternet.com

RE-HOSPITALITY T: 020 7736 0122 www.re-hospitality.co.uk London’s leading agency providing temporary and permanent staffing solutions to the hospitality and catering sector.

JOB OF THE WEEK: VIP Event Staff Required - Immediate Starts Location: Central London Salary: £8.00 plus p/h RE Hospitality have the enviable reputation of supplying ONLY the very best front of house staff to many of London’s most prestigious events and venues. With a hectic few months ahead of us, we are looking for well groomed, articulate, personable people who can deliver the highest levels of service with confidence and a smile. We offer flexible hours to fit in with your lifestyle. Previous experience is essential. londonjobs@re-hospitality.co.uk

THE GCD BOUTIQUE CATERING (LONDON) LTD Leading retail boutique caterer who believes in making a difference! we are committed to best practice in all areas of corporate, social and environmental responsibility.

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JOB OF THE WEEK: Barista / General Assistant Location: EC1, The City Salary: up to £7.50 p/h DOE Our exciting, modern City site requires a team member who is fun, hardworking and who has a passion for great food and drinks. You will be required to work with the team as a Barista/ General Assistant during our busy breakfast and lunch periods. You will have excellent spoken English skills, be adaptable and be flexible in your approach to work. CV to scott@thegcd.co.uk

5/10/12 17:29:27


TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: LAURA CHUBB laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

“Laugh it up while it’s still free, sucker”

Too many NHS scare stories are bad for our health

Photos: Getty

UK residents must start defending a system that is truly a lifeline

If I read one more sensationalised scare story about the NHS going out of its way to slice and dice patients into an early grave upon admittance, I’ll make it my mission to find the person responsible for peddling this damaging crap and force them to live in the US. I’ll then contrive some way for them to lose a few limbs and enjoy watching as they agonise over which one they can afford to reattach. The line in “so-and-so was denied water for days by cruel NHS doctors and nurses” stories will always generate lucrative clicks for certain rags that will remain unnamed. And yes, there was a shocking report last week about a 17-year-old girl who died during a routine operation, allegedly because surgeons bungled the procedure (though, contrary to the accompanying headline, it turns out this is just a theory and the NHS Trust hospital involved is “investigating”). If true, it’s a tragedy, and the family of the girl deserves to be angry. But it shouldn’t be taken to represent the typical experience provided by an incredibly important system that most residents of the UK would quite frankly be buggered without. At a time when the NHS is in more peril than it has ever been – thanks to nonsensical Tory reforms and the instalment of a health secretary who said he believes the system should be rejigged so patients can “purchase health care from the provider of their choice” – we need more voices championing the NHS, not baying for blood in cynical pursuit of a juicy headline. Take the American friend of mine who recently moved to London from New York and can’t quite get her head around not having to pay to see her GP. “So I make an appointment, and he sees me for free?” she keeps asking, bamboozled. To her, the NHS is nothing short of a miracle. It shouldn’t be miraculous that, in this day and age, a person can be treated for illness no matter how much, or little, they earn. But it is, and we had better not forget it. » Agree or disagree? Is the NHS worth saving? letters@tntmagazine.com

HARRIET HARMAN SEXLESS SHOCKER Harriet Harman set off a flush of blushes last week when she admitted in her Labour party conference speech to having read Fifty Shades Of Grey, and then added: “Let’s be honest, what most women want is not a man who ties you to the bed, but one who unstacks the dishwasher while you watch the Great British Bake Off.” In a perhaps vaguely admirable attempt to seem hip to popular culture, the deputy leader of the opposition strayed into what can only ever be a no-win situation – mixing sex with politics. Say you’d rather watch the box than break out the nipple

Talk mommy porn on your own time

clamps and you live up to the dry-as-abone, dull politician stereotype. Profess instead a fondness for pegging and no one will ever be able to look at you in the House of Commons again. The lesson? Just stick to the policies, love. You can talk mommy porn on your own time. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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A pile of shit? This year’s Turner Prize really is WORDS CAROL DRIVER The favourite to scoop the art industry’s most controversial accolade this year is a pile of shit. More specifically, Paul Noble’s Turner Prize entry includes black and white sculptures of turds copulating, on display in the same room as his incredibly intricate drawings – which feature human excrement having sex. The Turner Prize is no stranger to provoking reaction; in fact, it thrives on discussion, usually fuelled by purists outraged at the bizarre and unworthy pieces nominated for the £25,000 prize fund. But this year, as well as the critics’ cries of, “Is this art?”, the exhibition, which opened last week, has also prompted accusations of dumbing down, criticism that the usual shock tactics have become tired, predictable. While, in comparison, others have said it’s the strongest range of finalists for years. Controversy has followed the Turner Prize since its launch in 1984 (see box) – from Damien Hirst pickling a mother cow and her calf for In Mother And Child Divided in 1995, to Tracey Emin exhibiting My Bed, unmade, along with dirty sheets, fags and a bottle of vodka in 1999. Despite the poo, bookies William Hill has selected Noble as the favourite to win the 2012 prize with 5/4 odds. The artist began his elaborate drawing project in 1996, creating fictional city Nobson Newtown, which features drawings of a place where the words spell out the town. “There is no story or time in Nobson Newtown,” the 48-year-old Londoner says. “I consider it to be a play without acts or actors.” As well as Noble, who is the only artist in the traditional sense to be nominated, three others have made the shortlist, their work on display at Tate Britain until January, with a winner being announced on December 3. Spartacus Chetwynd has also raised eyebrows. The kooky 39-year-old from London is the only live performer to ever make the final of the Turner Prize. She said her carnivallike performances, which include inviting members of the audience to lie down while an oracle puppet whispers 48

predictions, such as “84 per cent of people have more sense than you”, and “beware of Dave”, were meant to celebrate political ineptitude. Chetwynd, who lives in a nudist colony and who changed her name in honour of a Roman gladiator, wore facial hair to the opening of the exhibition, saying: “I haven’t had time to find a dress so I thought if I put a beard on with an old dress it will be a scintillating combination.” In the next room is 45-year-old Elizabeth Price’s trilogy of video installations. Each one has taken the Londoner a year to make. The highlight is The Woolworths Choir Of 1979, in

It’s not faeces having sex ... it’s a turd motif

which Price expertly merges fiction with fact – a fire at a Woolworths store in 1979 in which 10 people died – creating “an imagined institutional structure where we are both consumers and consumed”. Asking the most from his audience is Luke Fowler, with a 93-minute video featuring Scottish psychiatrist RD Lang as his subject. All Divided Selves intersperses archive material with glimpses of footage that he’s shot himself in a compelling edit. Of his videos, Fowler, 34, who hails from Glasgow, said: “[They are made for] people who are prepared to enter into a deeper relationship with the film and its subjects.” So while the projects might be considered too quirky, too unconventional or too far removed from ‘art’, Turner Prize curator Lizzie Carey-Thomas says it’s important for critics to remember the finalists don’t reflect the art world as a whole. “It’s tempting to look at these four artists as completely indicative of what’s going on in contemporary art at the

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Is it art?: (clockwise) Noble’s drawing; Price’s Woolworths film; one of Chetwynd’s performances

Photos: Getty

moment, but it’s not representative as it’s only four artists, who’ve been selected by four jury members, so the shortlist always reflects their tastes and enthusiasms,” she explains. “The shortlist is always decided on who the jury think has done the best show over the past 12 months, and they’re careful to keep coming back to the criteria of the prize.” Carey-Thomas shrugs off criticism against Noble’s romping turds, saying his work has been misinterpreted. “I don’t know where the faeces having sex has come from,” she says. “That’s not true. There’s a motif that appears in his drawings again and again, which is actually of human turds, they have different functions according to the drawing. “Other times they’re elevated to the status of deities and presented on plinths like sculptures. It’s not a deliberate shock tactic, that’s not how Noble is approaching it.” Addressing the critics who grumble over whether the final projects constitute art, Carey-Thomas says: “The nature of art has changed. The art that everyone associates with the Turner Prize was art being made in the Nineties for a not very long period of time, people like Damien Hirst, Tracey Emin. “There was a very happy marriage at that time between the Turner Prize ambitions of wanting to make itself more accessible and the artists’ ambitions of wanting to get as much attention for their work as possible. “But before that period and subsequently, that’s not been the case. I don’t think artists do set out to deliberately cause controversy anymore, and I think art practice has shifted.” Whether the Turner Prize finalists have produced art is up to us, the audience, to decide. However, judging from some of the notes left on the display board at the end of the exhibition – “?” and “I’m taking a pencil” were two that stood out – not everybody is convinced. Turner Prize 2012 exhibition. £10. Showing until January 6, 2013 Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG Pimlico tate.org.uk

Winner: Grayson Perry

DON’T FORGET THE HYPE TURNER MOMENTS Every year there’s controversy surrounding the Turner Prize. When it first launched in 1984, championing art in Britain, the winner was painter Malcolm Morley, who had lived in the US for 25 years, causing outrage. Even before the likes of Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin got people talking with their exhibits of slicedopen animals and slutty beds respectively, the work on display had provoked people to the point of protest, with the Anti Turner Prize set up in 1993 – £40,000 was given to the ‘worst artist in Britain’, voted from the Turner Prize shortlist. Rachel Whiteread scooped both awards for House, a concrete cast of a house. Other memorable points include Chris Ofili using elephant dung in his 1998 works; Martin Creed’s 2001 installation featuring an empty gallery with two flashing lights; and 2003’s transvestite pottery artist Grayson Perry, whose works included themes of child abuse.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTNEWS

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Ear bite: James Graham got 12 weeks

BULLDOGS: BARK MAKES BITE WORSE RUGBY LEAGUE

It went from bad to worse for the Canterbury Bulldogs after losing the NRL grand final to Melbourne Storm – players were accused of verbally abusing a female TV reporter during ‘mad Monday’ and then prop James Graham was given a 12-match ban for biting Billy Slater on the ear. ARLC chairman John Grant ordered a full investigation from the club after Bulldogs players and staff were alleged to have made sexist comments to a Channel Nine journalist and told a cameraman to “fuck off” as players arrived at Belmore Oval in their traditional fancy dress. “I think it is fair to say and have heard it is a serious issue and it will be dealt with seriously,” Grant said. England prop Graham won’t play until round nine 2013 and will miss two England Tests, despite pleading not guilty after the incident, which left Slater’s ear bleeding.

OPEN BOWS TO PRIZE MONEY PRESSURE TENNIS Australian Open organisers can breathe easy after they announced a record £19m prize pool for the January grand slam, enough to keep Roger Federer, Andy Murray, et al from boycotting the Melbourne tournament. Players were protesting low pay rates for the event, especially for the players knocked out in the early rounds, and had threatened they would be no-shows. The £2.5m overall increase is the biggest pay rise in a year in the Open’s history. “We are supporting the lower-ranked players in their quest for compensation,” tournament director Craig Tiley said. 50

It was man-love all round following Europe’s miraculous comeback in the Ryder Cup, winning eight-and-a-half of a possible 12 points on the final day to overcome the US. No one was more delighted than team captain Jose Maria Olazabal, pictured kissing Lee Westwood, who used the death of his mate Seve Ballesteros as motivation for his team

Spanish champ Rafael Nadal has also told Tiley that he plans to play in the Oz championships despite injury troubles.

HARRY NOT SO KEWELL ANYMORE FOOTBALL Socceroo Harry Kewell – once a star for Leeds and Liverpool, and recently voted Australia’s best ever footballer – admits his playing career may be over as his search for a new club continues. Kewell, 34, returned to England from A-League side Melbourne Victory to be closer to his wife’s family. Links to Stoke, Blackburn and Middlesbrough have led to dead ends: “If something comes up and it is the right thing for me, I will have a look at it,” he said. ”But I am happy to move on.”

BIG WEEK FOR ... Silver Ferns GA Maria Tutaia, right, will be aiming to repeat her recent sublime performances against Australia when the Quad Series netball kicks off on Saturday. Tutaia’s been out injured with a minor knee strain, but will be raring to go. She’s arguably the world’s top netball player right now and her keen eye for goal will be crucial as NZ take on the Aussie Diamonds in the first outing of the series, which also includes matches against South Africa and England.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Shortlisted

VOTE NOW &

WIN

The shortlist nominees have now been selected

Travelled in 2012?

Want to win a NEW TG-1 Olympus Camera? Register your vote now! The 2012 Golden Backpack Awards are taking place on October 25. Your vote counts! Go online and register your votes and you could win yourself a TG-1 Olympus Camera!

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK There were Diana Ross wigs and a blonde one Francesco Molinari was wearing. He thought it made him look like Marilyn Monroe Nicolas Colsaerts’ review of Europe’s Ryder Cup party. Sounds like a hoot

Fullback Billy Slater will be keen to use his speed on the sizeable Kiwi line-up

PREVIEW TEST FOR TRANS-TASMAN BRAG RIGHTS NEW ZEALAND VS AUSTRALIA

SAT, 9.35AM, ONLINE You’ll have to head onto one of those live streaming sites to watch this match, but it’ll be worth it. Kiwis vs Kangaroos has always been the only great rivalry in international rugby league and has become better still in the past few years, especially since NZ’s shock World Cup win in 2008 – they’re often tight, always bruising affairs. Having lost the last four meetings between the two teams, the Kiwis are due

for a win. Bizarrely, they have seven players from the grand final to Australia’s five, so most of their starting 13 will be at their peak, plus they’ve been bolstered by the inclusion of Bulldogs prop Sam Kasiano, who was an each-way bet to pledge allegiance to Oz so he could play Origin. Coach Tim Sheens will be keen to impress 26,500 league-mad Townsville fans after he was dumped from the Tigers, where he coached Kiwi pivot Benji Marshall. The Kangaroos will rely heavily on their Storm holy trinity – Slater, Cronk and Smith – to prove they’re the world’s best.

THE CHAT | Boys vs girls in the pool

I don’t think it’s China. I haven’t really left the hotel in Guangzhou or here (Beijing) yet, apart from to go to Starbucks British tennis player Laura Robson tries to explain why she’s done so well in China this year. Umm … practice, perhaps?

You come from a council house and before you know it you’re playing Man United Liverpool’s Jonjo Shelvey uses his background as an excuse for abusing Sir Alex Ferguson. He’s since apologised

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

TENNIS What’s all this about men and women Q competing in the same swimming events? The mixed relay – two men and two women per team A – will be held at all eight World Cup meetings this season. Teams can choose who swims when, meaning plenty of lead changes and drama, as it’ll be hard to tell who has the edge. At a short-course World Cup meet in Dubai last week, Germany won a mixed 4x50m medley, with Britta Steffen holding off blokes from Hungary and Ukraine. It may show the speed difference between sexes, but it’s exciting and something FINA hopes will boost interest in the sport outside Olympic and Commonwealth Games.

ATP Shanghai 1000 Catch the big guns Mon, 7am. Sky Sports 1

GOLF Portugal Masters Day one action Thurs, 11.30am. Sky Sports 2

FORMULA ONE Korean GP Speedster: Britta Steffen

Can anyone catch Alonso? Sunday, 7am. Sky Sports F1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Warrior instinct Aussie UFC veteran George Sotiropoulos is teaching a new breed of his countrymen what it takes to make it in the fight game WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

George Sotiropoulos is breathing heavy at his Washington home. It’s 9am and he’s been training since 5am, mostly running. When he’s finished talking to TNT, he’ll enjoy (or endure) an afternoon in the gym, before allowing himself a rest ahead of another session in the evening. Such is life when your profession is beating other men into submission. Sotiropoulos is Australia’s premier mixed martial arts exponent, a Brazilian and 10th Planet jiu-jitsu black belt with a 14-4 professional record. He’s also the current Australian team coach on The Ultimate Fighter: The Smashes, a reality TV show where the best combatants from Down Under line up to destroy their British counterparts – The X Factor for hardmen, if you will. Coaching was a different challenge for Greek-descent Sotiropoulos, but it’s one he relished. After more than two decades of being in the ring, putting his immense boxing, kickboxing and MMA skills to the ultimate test, passing on his knowledge was a strange but welcome experience. “I really enjoyed teaching, because in the past I’ve been so focused on fighting that I haven’t really done those sorts of things,” he says. “It was a good opportunity for me to get out there and train with some good people. It was a great experience for me and I got a lot of good feedback, a lot of positive energy from it.” The US-based Victorian says he was proud of the way his eight Aussies, including big wave surfer Richie Vaculik, conducted themselves on the show. And he reckons the day that both nations are consistently challenging the American and Brazilian fighters, who’ve dominated the MMA rankings since 1993, isn’t far away. “Australia and the UK are very similar in many ways, not just sport,” Sotiropoulos says. “But in terms of MMA, they like their striking. Both countries enjoy boxing and kickboxing and that’s what they’re best at. In the US, they’re better at wrestling. Everyone’s getting better at the ground 54

stuff, with the growth of jiu-jitsu across the world, but in the US wrestling is the big differentiator.” He’s loath to single out any one of the Australian fighters for mention, but he says all eight of the competitors under his instruction are “really talented fighters”. “What tends to happen on this show is that some guys really stand out, grab people’s attention,” he says. “They go off and improve and start getting winning streaks and make a name for themselves.” Sotiropoulos should know, his big break came after making the semi-finals of the show’s 2007 series. Using the skills and exposure gained from competing in the pressurecooker TV environment, he launched a winning streak of seven professional fights and secured a coveted Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) contract. It was a remarkable achievement, but one Sotiropoulos never doubted would happen. The self-confessed martial arts fanatic began watching fight movies, such as those from Bruce Lee, as a young boy. When he came across MMA – and it’s pinnacle, the UFC – in his teens, he knew it was for him. “I was determined to do it,” he says. “Fighting was in my DNA. I’ve always loved fighting, but when I came across UFC, I basically decided that’s what I wanted to do. I started training: jiu-jitsu, boxing, wrestling, I saw what I had to acquire to get into it and just trained myself.” But make no mistake, we’re not talking to some street thug with a lust for violence. Despite having his eyes on the prize from an early age, Sotiropoulos realised that he may need a plan B, so he studied banking, finance and international trade. However, while he enjoyed crunching numbers, the allure of crunching flesh and bones in the Octagon was too strong. His heart belonged to fighting. “It’s a way of life,” he says of his journey among the hardest-of-the-hard pro athletes. “I live to train. The dedication [needed] is unparalleled because there are

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UFC boss Dana White

Photos: Getty, Josh Hedges/Zuffa LLC

Fierce: George is lightweight but he operates with a heavy hand

so many disciplines you have to master and be proficient in, as well as maintaining a high level of conditioning. Those characteristics boil over into other parts of your life. You can’t help but be disciplined, focused and dedicated.” However, not everyone is a fan of his profession. MMA has been banned in New York since 1997 and its existence has been strongly lobbied against by the US National Center for Domestic and Sexual Violence, whose executive director Deborah B Tucker claims the UFC “contributes to a culture of violence against women and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people”. Such statements are swiftly refuted by Sotiropoulos. “People have been fighting for thousands of years, since the caveman. Humans love it,” he says. “You can’t deny it’s a brutal sport – it’s a combat sport, so there is that brutality involved – but it’s no more brutal than rugby or NFL or those kinds of contact sports. It’s just a sport, and that ferocity, that’s why we love sport.” And the viewing public seems to agree. The past five years have seen an explosion in the popularity of UFC, especially with pay-per-view events, and the ratings figures now matching those of boxing. It seems even in 2012, humans have blood lust. “I have to quote [UFC president] Dana White: ‘Fighting is in our DNA,’ and he’s right,” says Sotiropoulos, who fights his rival Ultimate Fighter trainer Ross Pearson on December 14 on the Gold Coast, which will air as part of the show. “UFC is a superior product,” he says. ”Sports like boxing are one-dimensional, whereas UFC is multi-dimensional. It makes for more exciting fights. Fights can be fought with more than one way to skin a cat and UFC proved that. That’s why the sport is so popular.” The Ultimate Fighter: The Smashes airs in the UK every Wednesday at midnight on ESPN

GB vs Oz: The Ashes of the Octagon

Brutal: Mark ‘Super Samoan’ Hunt

UFC REACHES NZ KIWIS STEP UP Auckland is on the UFC’s expansion list, with plans mooted for a trans-Tasman version of The Ultimate Fighter in the near future with Australia. “There is a natural rivalry and a lot of camaraderie there,” UFC’s managing director for international development Marshall Zelaznik said. “With an event in New Zealand around that, or even bringing one of our fight nights or pay-per-views there, we have little doubt it would be a big success.” New Zealand is now among the top 10 markets for UFC, with pay-per-view sales rising 20 to 30 per cent each year in recent times. The Kiwis have two representatives among the UFC’s 350-strong stable of fighters now. Veteran heavyweight Mark ‘Super Samoan’ Hunt has recently been joined by up-and-coming light-heavyweight James Te Huna, 31, who has won four of his five UFC fights so far.

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

The All Blacks have run away from the pack

Can anyone catch the unstoppable All Blacks? World Cup hoodoo broken, NZ are freewheeling geniuses

» Are the All Blacks as good as the Aussies and ’Boks make them look? letters@tntmagazine.com 56

When was the last time you saw a hand ball, a proper one that FIFA’s laws would actually recognise as a free kick? They’re very rare, not that Borussia Dortmund’s Neven Subotic would believe it after having the ball drilled into his outstretched arm by Sergio Aguero, gifting Manchester City a penalty last week. ‘Deliberately’ is in there somewhere, not that anyone takes notice of it, especially every freaking referee in the world. Handball has become the thing refs blow up to minimise complaints, not a rule. There are clues to telling if the handling of a ball is deliberate – the arm moves to it, catching it.

Refs have given up on the actual rules

Or it’s Maradonna. But refs have given up on the rule and decide based on expectations. If they must blow the whistle every time the ball touches the arm, the rule has to change. Indirect free kicks for any arm contact and a direct one if it’s clearly blatant, yellow cards for breaking up attack and red for stopping a goal if it’s deliberate.

Photo: Getty

To answer the above question, no… not any time soon, anyway. Since that would be a really short column, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do about it. No, I don’t think I have the answers to the Wallabies woes. I mean, what do you do when your team’s so self-destructive that they suck to watch, but you need an excuse to go to the pub before lunch? The best I’ve got is to give the Kiwis their dues and support them as you would a band you didn’t want to like, but if really honest, you listen to them all the time. This won’t change my opinion that Dan Carter’s a pretty boy (but good) and Richie McCaw’s a cheat (but really good). But the All Blacks side that won the World Cup (finally) and have just made the Rugby Championship against Australia, South Africa and Argentina look like a training run may be a once-in-a-generation team. The All Blacks don’t dominate teams, they dismantle them, with skill around the park and discipline – as score lines such as last week’s 54-15 thrashing of a spirited Argentina suggests. It’s rugby cliche 101, but it’s true. The forwards live up to their name, they bring forward momentum. Richie McCaw’s almost always offside, but whatever, he gets away with it – if someone ever says they wouldn’t take him in their team, they’re full of it. Dan Carter’s backs make it look like touch footy. And when they create chances, they take them. Simple, right? It can’t be or the so-called powerhouses they’ve brushed aside over the past couple of months would have half a clue how to handle them. The weekend’s games were irrelevant as the All Blacks had already taken the trophy with 21 points and 95+ points difference, ahead of South Africa (12 points and 27+) and Australia (8 points and -42). With their likely win over the Saffas on Saturday they would have also matched the 17 wins on the trot of Fred Allen’s mid-Sixties ABs and the late-Nineties Springboks. The All Blacks come to the UK for tour Tests in November. The Kiwis will be out in force, and I reckon Aussies and Saffas should suck up our pride and find a way to see them.

GIVE THE RULES A HELPING HAND

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP HALLELUJAH!

IMAGE OF THE WEEK

A happy pilgrim from Brazil during the Jerusalem Parade, marking the Jewish Sukkot holiday.

Photos: Getty, TNT

INSIDE

IT’S A SCREAM /62

SECRET ITALY /72

FUN IN THE SUN /78

The time of year has come for us to find all things creepy, weird and gross a top source of amusement. Try these gory getaways.

There’s more to Italy than meets the eye: we get insider tips on the best of the lessvisited cities of Trieste, Cagliari and Genoa.

You could spend the winter miserable in the icy wind and rain, or you could escape to somewhere warm and exotic. Your choice. TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer TRAVEL EDITOR

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A bed sheet just won’t do at the Village Halloween Parade

HOLIDAYS WITH THE X FACTOR So it seems the British public are rather easily led. Or perhaps we’re all just a little sun-starved – surely that’s the only excuse for so many of us planning our winter holidays based on where The X Factor’s judges take their budding starlets.

On last week’s episodes, Louis Walsh took the groups to his ‘Judge’s House’ in Las Vegas to practice their singing and to ‘find out who they really are’ and all that jazz. Brits were so moved by the spectacle that they rushed online to book their own trips to the party city – no sooner had the TV show aired, than flight searches to Las Vegas soared by 236 per cent. Apparently everyone wants a holiday à la Louis Walsh. Personally, if I thought there was even the slightest chance I’d catch a glimpse of the pasty-skinned Irishman parading around in his swimming trunks on my holidays, I’d book a flight as far as possible in the opposite direction. Outer Mongolia? Reserve me that ticket! But it gets worse, much worse. After Gary Barlow’s over-25 gang were filmed in Boughton House, Kettering, hotels.com saw a frankly ridiculous 318 per cent increase in searches for Northamptonshire. I really feel I have to step in at this point. Now, I grew up very near Kettering, and can assure everyone that outside the confines of Gazza’s luxe pad, it’s really pretty grim – all I can remember is industrial estates, graffiti and Asda superstores. It’s so crap, in fact, that I think I’d actually rather spend a whole fortnight sharing a bunk bed with Louis in Vegas before booking a weekend break to Kettering. Yes, it’s really that bad. » Agree or disagree? Email TNT’s new travel ed Helen Elfer with your views:

This Halloween, join 50,000 costumed revellers at this flamboyant fright fest in Greenwich Village. There will be giant puppets, live music, 31 dancing, and creative outfits galore. Anyone not wearing a costume won’t be allowed in, and judging by the crew pictured above, wearing an old bed sheet and claiming to be a ghost just isn’t going to cut it. OCT

WHY: The Village Halloween Parade has been going strong since it was founded back in 1974. Since then, the event has transformed into a carnival, rather than the theatrical event it started life as. Over 60,000 costumed participants and two million spectators will line the mile-long parade this year.

AIRWAVES FESTIVAL Reykjavik, Iceland

Headliners at this annual five-day music festival will 31 include local Icelandic bands, as well as international music icons. This year’s Iceland Airwaves line-up is a stellar one, including Sigur Rós, Of Monsters and Men, Dirty Projectors and The Vaccines. It’s safe to say the hipsters will be out in force. OCT

icelandairwaves.is

OCTOBER SALON

halloween-nyc.com

BELFAST FESTIVAL Belfast, Northern Ireland

Hop over the water to get your culture fix at The 19 Belfast Festival at Queen’s, which is a solid two weeks of theatre, dance, literature, music and film. The comedy at the fest will also be strong this year, with Irish gagster Dara O’Briain making an appearance. OCT

belfastfestival.com

ORIENTAL DANCE FEST Cape Town, South Africa

Belgrade, Serbia

There’s everything from traditional belly dancing 25 to performances of modern styles and workshops at the 7th International Oriental Dance Festival, which is held in aid of abused women and children, until October 28. OCT

Belgrade’s contemporary arts festival is exhibiting 20 edgy artwork from both Serbian and international up-andcoming artists for its 53rd year. Open until November 4. OCT

oktobarskisalon.org

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DO IT BECAUSE: Those with the most creative costumes could find themselves televised to millions of spectators – it’s worth making an effort. This year’s theme is ‘Tick! Tock!’, which represents the end of the world. It’s bound to be a show-stopper.

iodfcapetown.com

Photo: Getty

helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

VILLAGE HALLOWEEN PARADE New York, US

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PROTECT THE RHINO A rhinoceros protection force has been set up in India after a surge in attacks by poachers. At least 11 rhinos have already been killed this year in Assam’s Kaziranga National Park. In one particularly horrible case last month, a rhino was wounded and had its horn removed while it was still alive. The government has responded by dispatching 50 troops to clear poachers from the park, and plans to send more soon. The rhinos are hunted for their horns, which sell for high prices in China and Southeast Asia, where they are falsely believed to have medical properties such as curing fever. Powdered rhino horn is also used as an aphrodisiac.

FINED FOR SNACKING Eating gelato while sitting by the marble fountains of Rome’s Piazza Navona might be top of your list of things to do in Italy, but it could cost you £400 – plus the price of your two scoops. Roman authorities have said that from this week onwards, anyone caught snacking around a number of the monuments in the historic centre of The Eternal City will be slapped with a fine. “It is forbidden to encamp or erect makeshift shelters and stop to eat or drink in zones which have a particular historic or architectural value,” said a statement from Rome council.

Located in the heart of Berlin’s young and trendy district of Prenzlauer Berg our hostel offers you the ideal mix of affordable accommodation and attractive ambience. Most of our modern and functional single, double and triple rooms are fitted with a customizable colour-lighting, securing a relaxed and individual atmosphere.

MET OFFICE SUED? The manager of a Devon tourist attraction is planning to take legal action against the Met Office for its “overly pessimistic” forecasts. Rick Turner, who owns The Big Sheep in Abbotsham, an animal-themed family attraction, told The Telegraph that the gloomy predictions of the weather service cause him to lose business. He said: “This year we saw several instances – including over the August bank holiday – when a few weeks beforehand, they predicted a washout, and we ended up with not even a drop of rain.” A Met Office spokesperson said forecasts are correct 87 per cent of the time.

BERLIN

AURORA HOSTEL Pappelallee 21, 10437 Berlin (Prenzlauer Berg)

Phone: +49 (0)30 46 99 55 30 www.aurora-hostel.com

LAZY LUGGAGE We’ve seen the future of travel – and it’s robotic. A young Spanish inventor, Rodrigo Garcia Gonzalez, has come up with a suitcase that automatically follows you wherever you go. A video on YouTube shows the prototype of the ‘Hop!’ suitcase in action. The clip shows the case following its owner along just like a dutiful little puppy, using the Bluetooth signal of a smartphone to guide it. If the signal is lost, the bag locks itself and tells the owner by making the phone vibrate. The invention may not be flawless (stairs and security issues spring to mind) but we still think it’s a pretty nifty idea.

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A flesh-hungry zombie at Hop Farm’s Freak Week

Halloween holidays

Lancashire

ENGLAND

ENGLAND

Oxfordshire Surrey

London Kent

Lancashire

ENGLAND WALES

Oxfordshire

London

Surrey

Kent

There are 31 en-suite bedrooms, including 8 four-posters some with resident ghosts!

rs a roaring log fire, winter The Giants’ Fireplace Bar offe d. e and traditional English mea warming food, mulled win

The Mermaid Inn is situated on legendary, cobbled Mermaid Street, and caters for those who appreciate tradition and charm, coupled with the modern facilities required by today’s guest. The Mermaid Inn | Mermaid Street | Rye | East Sussex | TN31 7EY Tel: 01797 223065 | www.mermaidinn.com 62

Spine-chilling: (Clockwise) A chainsaw-wielding chap from Scare Kingdom; Oxford Castle, shrouded in creepy mist; a gruesome campsite at Scare Kingdom

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UKTRIP

It’s a scream Creepy castles and raging zombies come into their own this month – try these gory getaways WORDS HELEN ELFER

Stay at home at your peril this Halloween. It’s the spookiest night of the year, so you could be visited by all sorts of evil beings or horrifying sights. And we’re not even referring to supernatural ones. The truth about Halloween is that any weird noises in the back garden are most likely coming from your neighbour’s kid plotting to lob eggs at your windows while wearing a Scream mask. Otherwise, it could be the equally terrifying vision of face-painted, sheet-wearing children knocking on your door, complaining that pumpkin-shaped chocolates are shit and asking for a fiver instead. Honestly, it’s enough to send shivers down your spine. So don’t take any risks, pack up your wooden stake and garlic necklace, and head to one of these grisly UK sites for some frightfully good fun. Freak Week Hop Farm, Kent

Photos: Darryl Curcher Photography, Thinkstock

There are five haunted sites for you to explore at Freak Week, Hop Farm’s pop-up scare attraction. Each has its own terrifying story for you to get sucked into. Perhaps you will end up a victim of The Slaughterhouse, a factory that uses human remains in its sticky pies. Or maybe you’ll get stuck in Quarantine, where those who contracted a rather nasty virus are kept – poor things were turned into frothing, rage-filled zombies with an insatiable desire for flesh and now they’re being experimented on by the government with secret antivirus drugs. Some people have no luck at all. But even the zombies are probably better off than the school kids who got dragged into The Hatch, an old storm drain. Their bodies showed up a week later. Could you be next? PREPARE FOR YOUR SCARE: Hop Farm’s Freak Week runs from October 25-31 and entrance costs £25 on the gate or £19.50 in advance. hopfarmfreakweek.co.uk Oxford Castle Unlocked Oxfordshire Maybe you associate Oxford with scholarly robes and quiet, wholesome boating weekends. If that’s the case, you’d be very, very wrong. This ghost tour of Oxford Castle reveals a dark and sinister side to this historic city – a woman who survived her hanging only to end up almost dissected by a medical student, an 18th-century celebrity murderess and a notoriously cruel prison keeper are just some of the previous inhabitants of the castle.

PREPARE FOR YOUR SCARE: Ghost tours take place every Thursday throughout October and November. Tickets cost £8.95pp. oxfordcastleunlocked.co.uk Scare Kingdom Lancashire Fancy spending an evening with a family of serial killers in a Slaughter Shed? Not so much? How about keeping some rancid, half-human mutants company in a post-apocalyptic war zone then? Nah, us neither. But apparently we’re in a very wimpy minority. Scare Kingdom Doomsday Scream Park has launched four all-new attractions for Halloween, which combine ghoulish actors, special effects and blood-spattered rooms to create a terrifying night out. Possessed statues, Lockjaw (a demented cannibal) and Gorevinsky Guignol, a blood-crazed theatre impresario, are just some of the unfriendly characters that will be roaming the park. Does that all sound a bit overwhelming? Solution: you can beat a hasty retreat to the Fright Bar for a calming tipple. PREPARE FOR YOUR SCARE: Scare Kingdom Doomsday Scream Park is open October 13-November 3. Entrance fees start from £15 “per body”. scarekingdom.com

Thorpe Park Fright Nights Surrey Not one for the claustrophobic, the creepiest new addition to Thorpe Park’s Fright Nights is called The Passing, with you as a criminal, sentenced to death and destined for hellfire. The experience starts with you dying – sort of – when your head is covered with a hessian body bag. Then you’ll find yourself in a nightmare vision of the afterlife, and be punished for your sins. Not your thing? Then choose from any of the other four extreme horror mazes, including The Asylum, where crazed patients roam, and Saw Alive, which is based on the thoroughly twisted movie franchise. PREPARE FOR YOUR SCARE: Skiing in the UK: October 12-November 4. The best snow slopes Tickets £45.60. See web close to home for group discounts.

NEXT WEEK

thorpepark.com/frightnights

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LATEDEALS

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Find sunshine and serenity on a seven-night trip to St Lucia with Flight Centre for £669pp

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Nine days with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation and some meals. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by October 14. Departs November 24.

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JORDAN An eight-day Essential New Year tour costs £299pp (save 25 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852, traveltalktours.com). Includes three and four-star accommodation, some meals, airport transfers, Jeep safari and visits to Amman, Wadi Rum, Petra, Dead Sea and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by October 21, departs December 26. FLORIDA A seven-night stay costs £438pp with cheapflights.co.uk. Includes return flights and three-star, room-only accommodation at the Seralago Hotel and Suites. Departs London Gatwick on October 11. SHARM EL SHEIKH A seven-night stay costs £398pp with easyJet Holidays (easyJet.com/holidays; 0843 1041000). Includes return flights, five-star, all-inclusive accommodation at the Iberotel Il Mercato. Departs from London Gatwick on November 28.

> £500 ST LUCIA A seven-night trip costs £669pp (save £150) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference 2271389. Includes flights, three-star, room-only accommodation, based on two sharing. Valid for travel November 6-December 4. Departs London Gatwick. Book by October 15. BANGKOK AND PHUKET A 10night trip is £699pp with Bridge the World (bridgetheworld.com; 0800 9886884). Includes flights and three-star accommodation, some B&B and some room-only. Departs London Heathrow. Valid until October 31. EUROPE A 21-day tour costs £935pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (traveltalktours.com; 0208 0998852). Includes tour, threestar accommodation and some meals. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by October 21; departs March 30 in 2013.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail

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MAJORCA A seven-day stay costs £183pp with lowcostholidays.com. (0800 1116271). Includes flights and three-star, all-inclusive accommodation at the three-star Blue Sea Cala Guya Mar in Cala Ratjada. Departs from London Luton on October 12. ROME A two-night stay is £101pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 104 1000; easyJet.com/holidays). Includes flights and four-star B&B accommodation at the Roma Park hotel. Departs from London Gatwick on November 6. PORTUGAL A seven-night stay costs £219pp with Travelbag (0871 7034240; travelbag.co.uk). Includes return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at Quinta Pedra Dos Bicos hotel. Departs from London Gatwick on November 10. KRAKOW A two-night stay costs £96pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays). Includes return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at the Hotel Sympozjum. Departs from London Gatwick on November 21. BUDAPEST A two-night stay costs £104pp with easyJet Holidays (easyJet.com/holidays; 0843 1041000). Includes return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at the Atrium Fashion, a downtown boutique hotel. Departs from London Luton on November 14.

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: The beach Beaches are filled with natural wonders, especially when the light changes, creating inspirational conditions for shooting. There are challenges to photography at the beach, though, including pesky sand and the need to make large spaces look appealing. Keep an eye out for focal points that can be used to create a story, such as

shells scattered in the sand or waves crashing. Hitting the beach at quieter times may also be an advantage, as this means you’ll be able to concentrate more closely on the landscape itself. An essential piece of kit for taking pictures at the beach is a polarising filter, which can help you to reduce reflection and boost contrast.

WINNER WALKING ON WATER Stefan Bekker, St Francis, South Africa

WHY IT WORKS The two surfers head out to the water on Rote Island, Indonesia, as the sun lingers behind them. The dawn fills the sky with fiery yellow light, which spills over to the beach, giving everything the warm glow of a far off memory. The back line of palm trees and the vegetation converge in the distance, as if spectators waiting for the action to start. The tide has gone out, leaving the rocks and seaweed visible, like a miniature coastline, while the sea laps at the woman’s feet, tempting her in.

RUNNER-UP LANTERNS AT SUNSET Katie Mead, Woolgoolga, NSW, Australia

RUNNER-UP

WHY IT WORKS The three red lanterns, suspended by poles, hang on the darkening beach at Ko Lanta, Thailand, illuminating the sand as the sun sinks below the horizon. The reds and blues are the accent colours, and they create an interesting mix as the red sunset sits sandwiched between the sky above and the navy sea below. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

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HARBIN, CHINA

Close enough for comfort

HILTON IMPERIAL DUBROVNIK OVERVIEW This

pretty, city centre hotel is about as close to the action as you can hope to get in Dubrovnik. The famous medieval city walls are one block away, the beach is 10 minutes down the road and there’s a heap of great Croatian restaurants (and pretty wild-looking bars if that’s your thing) right on the doorstep. As Dubrovnik can get unbelievably hectic during peak season – it’s a very popular port stop for Adriatic cruises, and up to 10,000 tourists can disembark at once, crowding the streets and sights – having a base that’s close and peaceful to retreat to can make or break your trip. The Hilton Imperial Dubrovnik is relaxed and quiet enough to do just that – you can pop back there for an afternoon snooze, or have a giant piña colada at the lobby bar if you need a bit of respite from the chaos or sometimes fierce heat outside. WOW FACTOR Porat Restaurant, set in the hotel’s grounds, serves delicious Mediterranean food. The serene atmosphere and twinkling garden lights make it a memorable place for a feed. ROOMS A bit on the bland side when it comes to furnishings, as is typical of a chain hotel. BILL, PLEASE Standard doubles start from £125pn. Marijana Blazica 2, Dubrovnik, 20000, Croatia hilton.com

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Forget everything you thought you knew about ice sculpture – you won’t find a dripping swan or a lazily chiselled love heart in sight at China’s incredible Harbin International Ice and Snow Festival. Instead, you’ll find glittering, light-flooded palaces, glowing Buddhas, intricately carved dragons and much more, all shaped out of ice cut from the nearby Songhua River’s frozen surface. The Harbinese have taken what is otherwise, let’s face it, a slightly tacky and dated form of expression and party decoration to a whole new level using high tech lasers, dramatic lighting and a hefty dose of outrageously brilliant and over the top creativity. The exhibition is open from midDecember to February, but the 2013 festival formally launches on January 5. The main draw for visitors is Ice and Snow World, where you can wander about or take a tram past replicas of iconic buildings from across the globe and other full-scale monuments. Previous festivals have included sculptural tributes to London’s Tower Bridge, the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

and an icy version of Moscow’s Kremlin. This is definitely a visit best paid after dark, when the snowy structures are illuminated by colourful lights. The annual festival began in 1963, and was inspired by a fisherman from the 17th century who is said to have hollowed out ice blocks to protect his candles from Harbin’s fierce winds. You can see some decorative examples in the festival’s Ice Lantern Park. Given the romantic aesthetic of the setting, it was inevitable that the ice fest would become a popular wedding destination, and in recent years groups of couples have joined for ceremonies, donning heavy coats over their bridal finery to get hitched among the stunning sculptures. Once you’ve snapped photos of your favourite works, you’ll need a steamy cup of hot green tea. Temperatures drop to -30°C here during the winter, so plan your wardrobe carefully and limit your time outdoors – not even the giant frozen Sphinx is worth getting frostbite for. Fest tickets are £29.50. icefestivalharbin.com ››

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NORTHERN LIGHTS, SWEDEN

Camp out in the snow, book a hotel room with an illuminated view, take a trek – do whatever you’ve gotta do to see aurora borealis this year, as the lights are expected to be the brightest and most intense in half a century. Abisko has some of the clearest skies in the region and its Aurora Sky Station has a viewing platform, reachable by chairlift, that gives you the best chance of seeing this spectacularly coloured sky. It costs £62pp. auroraskystation.se

Photos: AFP, Getty

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SNOWY HOLIDAYS

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HWACHEON, SOUTH KOREA

A million Koreans and tourists hotfoot it to the Hwacheon Sancheoneo Ice Festival each January for an ice fishing extravaganza in a 150m-wide frozen river running up to snowy mountains. Here, it’s possible to reach through small holes in the ice and grab the mountain trout with your bare hands. But if you prefer not to spend a holiday groping around for wet fish, you can also go ice skating, sledding, play ice football and try a host of other wintry activities. Fishing passes are about £6. english.visitkorea.or.kr

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TOP FIVE

LAKE TAHOE, NEVADA

The cold, clear waters and snowy scenery of Lake Tahoe are appreciated best from Fannette Island, while nursing a Thermos of hot tea. You can take a kayak from the south shore to this, the lake’s only island. A quiet, pristine destination, it’s the perfect place to roam forests, gaze at the snowy Sierra Nevada Mountains and breathe in the crisp clean winter air. tahoe.com

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PLITVICE LAKES, CROATIA

Frozen waterfalls, ferociously spiky icicles and eerily blue-green waters – Plitvice Lakes have all the ingredients for an atmospheric winter adventure. Each of the lakes in the area has its own local legend, but particularly adventurous travellers can head to Gavan’s Lake, where the treasure of an old fisherman supposedly sits at the bottom. But given how bone-chillingly cold the water is at this time of year, you’ll probably be just as happy for it to stay down there.

NEXT WEEK Haggle hard: We visit the world’s top marketplaces

np-plitvicka-jezera.hr/en

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If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free wi-fi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

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considering travelling to Australia Q I’m next year and would like to take in parts of Asia, too. Is it wise just to book oneway tickets to various places or is there an option where I can pay a flat rate? Mark, via email will all depend on how many stops A This you’re hoping to include in your trip and

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recommend I celebrate? Michelle, via email most infamous of Thai parties is, of A The course, the Full Moon Party at Koh Phangan, which takes place monthly, and the largest of them all is on New Year’s Eve. This is a wild event, with tens of thousands of revellers taking over the beaches at Haad Rin, dancing and drinking from the ubiquitous plastic buckets of Thai moonshine and Red Bull. If you’re after something a little more laidback, consider the fishing village of Hat Bo Phut on Koh Samui, where the many local bars and restaurants will host parties, and at midnight there is a celebration with pretty lanterns and fireworks on the beach. My recommendation would be to see in the New Year in Bangkok. This is always an exciting city to visit, and New Year is no exception. Book accommodation in advance and arrive a few days before to check out where the parties will be held. Shopping hub Central World Plaza is likely to host the biggest public shindig. There will also be lots of fireworks displays, which are spectacular when viewed from one of Bangkok’s sky bars. January is also one of the best times to visit Thailand, as it has the lowest rainfall and isn’t too hot. Remember that it is also peak tourist season, so accommodation will be busier and more expensive – you’ll need to factor that into your budget.

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DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN WEEK Haggling is a part of life you can’t avoid in Egypt, especially in the resorts. Allow extra time on your journey for the inevitable taxi haggle, and when you find a taxi driver you like, take his number and call him whenever you want to go somewhere. He’ll be glad for the regular customer, plus you’ll build a rapport and won’t have to haggle with a taxi driver again! Jailan Yehia, via email TIP OFF It’s a bit of a racket, but lots of people demand ‘baksheesh’ for services in Egypt, which means a tip or a bribe. If it’s more than you want to pay, you can always refuse. Clara Davy, via email

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the length of time you would like to spend in Asia. You have three options: you could either book a number of single fare tickets to every destination; book an Asia-focused round the world ticket; or book a return to Australia and make use of the stopover. If you are looking to spend a large amount of time in Asia, visiting lots of destinations, you will find single fares by far the most expensive option. If you don’t need too much flexibility, you’re better off buying return flights to Australia that include stopovers. Check out Malaysia Airlines (malaysiaairlines.com), because they allow you to opt for a six-week stopover, giving you plenty of time to explore Asia. You can also find some great deals using stopovers, such as Singapore Airlines’ (singaporeair.com) Stopover Holiday, which includes discounted hotels and free tickets to attractions such as Singapore Zoo and Sentosa Island. For a large number of stops, I would advise looking at a round the world package – the Australia Deal from roundtheworldflights.com will get you to Australia and back with two stops in Asia for an £859 ticket.

planning to go to Thailand for Q I’m New Year. Whereabouts would you

READERS’ TIPS ON EGYPT

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Belgrade, Serbia

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BEST My absolute favourite trip was to Montenegro, with my best friend. The nature there was amazing. You can go to the mountains and then head to the sea, too – it’s beautiful.

Top travel tip? Don’t do only the generic things you see in the guidebooks – try to go off the beaten track a little bit. Weirdest travel experience? My mates and I stayed in a jungle lodge in Costa Rica with these random guys we met. We essentially stayed in the jungle with strangers, which was a bit weird. They were nice, so it wasn’t like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Scariest travel experience? We saw a lot of snakes in Costa Rica. They’re the only things I’m afraid of.

WORST There have been a few! I didn’t like Bulgaria, because I imagined the sea there would be different – it wasn’t very impressive. Another time I went on a trip with one guy and came back with a different one ... » Tell us your best/worst trips, email helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT Images

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AFRICAN SAFARI Explore Tanzania with a seven-night safari and beach adventure. The package costs £3004pp (saving £645) with The Selous Safari Company (+255 (0) 22 2128485; selous.com). Includes flights, four nights on safari at the Selous Safari Camp, plus a further three nights at Ras Kutani on a full-board basis, with game viewing drives and more.

NEVINE COUTRY Sales & Marketing Representative Orascom Hotels & Development

My favourite place in the world is El Gouna, Egypt, on the Red Sea. I really love the marina, the town, the hotels and the idyllic setting right on the water, not to forget the 365 days of sunshine! It’s just got the right balance of things that are important to me. My most challenging travel experience was a pretty gruelling 24-hour trip from Cairo in Egypt to Brussels in Belgium for a business meeting. I didn’t have any sleep – just travelling and working the whole time. I always pack a swimsuit, as I love to snorkel. It’s great to be able to see the underwater side of a destination and the marine life. The next trip on my travel wishlist is Cuba – the people, the place and the food look really good. My guilty travel pleasure is lots of partying – work hard and holiday harder! TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Cagliari: a scenic harbour city Trieste

Secret Italy Genoa

EUROPE

ITALY ROME

Cagliari

GETTING THERE Ryanair flies direct to Rome Ciampino from London for £104 return and Rome Ciampino to Cagliari from £14. ryanair.com Trains run from Rome to Trieste and Genoa (from £78 and £25 one-way). italiarail.com

(Clockwise) Even the bikes relax in Genoa; coffee culture in Trieste; boats await their next journey in Genoa’s harbour 72

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Italy’s unsung cities Sure, the boot’s usual suspects are hotspots for a reason, but venture further afield and you’ll find even more scenic wonders WORDS ROBERTO PRIOLO

Whenever someone tells me they’ve been to Italy, I always bombard them with questions about which cities they took in – I can’t help it, I love hearing about my home country. But the answers are always the same: Rome, Florence and Venice. I’ve been practising my approving smile for years, but what I really want to do is tell them that Italy has so much more to offer than this well-beaten path. Here’s a guide to three must-sees among Italy’s less-visited cities.

Trieste: the coffee capital Lighting up a cigarette just before starting to climb the steep alleys leading to the hilltop of San Giusto isn’t the best idea. I realise this as I pant my way up paths, cursing my nicotine addiction, but am rewarded with quite literally breathtaking views of the city below. A giant crane, symbolising Trieste’s naval heritage, is the most prominent figure in the harbour, while to the right, a grey dome stands out against the backdrop of rooftops and mountains. This belongs to the beautiful Serbia-Orthodox church, San Spiridione. A few steps away from here is the elegant colonnade of the Catholic church of Sant’Antonio Taumaturgo. Also nearby is one of Europe’s largest places of Jewish worship, the Synagogue of Trieste. This city’s diversity is in part due to its proximity to the Slavic world and its past as the Austro-Hungarians’ only port on the Mediterranean. I take a stroll to the charming Caffè San Marco (Via Cesare Battisti 18, tel. +39 (0) 40 363538) for an invigorating espresso. My imagination travels back to when this was a famous rendezvous for intellectuals and the literati, such as James Joyce. The Mittel-European ambience and its decor haven’t changed in almost a century, nor have the way cafès such as this are used as places for people to meet and discuss culture and politics and gesticulate over a cup of Joe. Trieste is known as the capital of coffee and locals even have their own vocabulary for the black stuff. If you want an espresso, make sure you ask for a nero – in the rest of Italy, it’s still an espresso. A macchiato is a capo, but if you want it served in a glass, ask for a capo in b. From here, I walk and admire the Neoclassical buildings of Piazza della Borsa, en route to Piazza Unità d’Italia, the main town square – the buildings’ golden decorations shine in the sun as passers-by stroll around the vast square overlooking the Adriatic Sea. From the tip of the Molo Audace, a pier

stretching from the waterfront, I look back at the city and realise it’s no accident Trieste has bewitched so many writers and travellers over the years. DON’T MISS: Trieste has it’s very own Grand Canal which is a more humble version of Venice’s famous waterways – perfect for an afternoon stroll as you check out the boats. turismofvg.it/locality/trieste

Genoa: city by the sea “Consider yourself lucky… in Genoa we have a reputation for being stingy,” says my Genoese friend Sara, handing me the oily slice of focaccia she just bought. The thriftiness of the people here is often more of a façade than genuine meanness, but when it comes to money, no one can take on the Genoese – banking has a long tradition here. The city’s Bank of Saint George was founded in 1407, making it one of the oldest in the world. We’re wandering the maze of narrow alleyways, called vicoli, that make up the medieval heart of Genoa. Young people on bikes and scooters dart by, old women ››

Trieste’s Grand Canal

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carrying bags full of groceries bargain with fishmongers and chatty students walk towards the university – Genoa really is the quintessential port city, bustling with life and filled with people from all corners. We take the Art Nouveau-style lift from Piazza del Portello to the Castelletto, a big esplanade that overlooks the city centre. From here Genoa looks like a tangle of stone and concrete, with the bell tower of the Cathedral of San Lorenzo rising above the rest, and the city’s most iconic landmark, the Lighthouse of Genoa (or La Lanterna) looming in the distance. On Friday evening, the alleys quickly fill up with people in the thousands getting ready for a long evening of al fresco drinking and dining. Sara takes me into busy Piazza delle Erbe for a drink. I quickly reach for my wallet and buy Sara a beer. She may not be one of the parsimonious Genoese, but I’d rather not push my luck. DON’T MISS: The famous architect Renzo Piano redeveloped the whole port in 2001, with The Bigo, Genoa’s beloved panoramic lift, as its centrepiece. This was originally a crane mounted on cargo ships, and now the 40m-high lift features a rotating see-through cabin, enabling visitors to get the best views over the harbour. turismo.comune.genova.it

Cagliari: the Sardinian capital

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BE THERE, DO THAT

Drifting down Venetian canals It’s great to see the lesser-known sides of Italy, but that’s not to say you should be avoiding the touristy big hitters altogether – they’re popular for a reason, after all. Make sure you fit at least one of these into your trip: ROME Famous for its unparalleled artistic heritage, The Eternal City has been capturing the imagination of travellers for centuries. Millions of tourists flock to the Italian capital every year, with the Colosseum and the Vatican Museums being the most popular attractions. Did you know? Starting in December, the Colosseum will undertake a 915-day makeover that will cost €25m (£20m). Hurry before scaffolding gets in the way! VENICE You don’t see a city entirely built on water every day. La Serenissima is one of the most romantic places on the planet… and one of the most crowded. But don’t let the hordes of tourists put you off. Its picturesque canals are well worth the hassle. Did you know? The Italian word ciao originates from the Venetian dialect once spoken here. They used to greet one another saying, “Sciavo vostro” (“I am your slave”), which became sciao and, finally, ciao. PISA The Leaning Tower of Pisa (left) is one of the most iconic monuments in Italy. It stands in the spectacular Square of Miracles (Piazza dei Miracoli), near the Baptistry and the Cathedral Sqaure (Duomo). Did you know? According to a Tuscan proverb, “It’s better to have a dead body in the house than a Pisan at the threshold.” Poor old Pisans. Maybe the Tuscans are just jealous of their wonky tower.

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

I decide to get my bearings in laid-back Cagliari by starting my day with a walk up the grand stairs of the Bastion of Saint Remy to reach Terrazza Umberto I, a terrace known for having simply glorious views. I take my time here, looking out at the scenery which includes the harbour, ponds where flamingos feed and the mountain which is known as Devil’s Saddle, due to its shape. The temperature reaches a scorching 35°C outside, so I seek out some shade in the Cathedral of Santa Maria, admiring the stunning neo-Gothic façade and artworks inside, which include marble sculptures and grand 15th-century paintings. A few blocks from here is the medieval Tower of the Elephant (Piazza San Giuseppe, Viale Università, tel. +39 070 41108), an imposing limestone structure built by the Pisans in 1307 that represents the entrance to the Castello neighbourhood. White limestone was also used to build the city’s walls, and the striking effect of the bright sunshine reflecting off them once prompted DH Lawrence to describe Cagliari as a “white Jerusalem” after his visit here in the early 1920s. DON’T MISS: Cagliari has a vibrant nightlife, much of which takes place in kiosks (chioschi) along the 8km-long stretch of beach, Poetto. Try kicking the evening off at Emerson (emersoncafe.it) for a couple of aperitivo, before moving on to Fico d’India, an upbeat, gay-friendly bar that’s great for dancing and live music. (Viale Poetto, tel. +39 348 2749236). visit-cagliari.it ❚

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5/10/12 14:00:43


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TRAVELWEEKENDER

The Holy City This is Jerusalem in 48 hours WORDS HELEN ELFER

DAY 1: 09:00 Any taxi driver worth his salt should give you a bit of a heads up just before you get your first glimpse of Jerusalem. Coming from Ben Gurion airport, the city suddenly appears before you, the golden Dome of the Rock (Temple Mount) gleaming at the centre. It’s a thrilling introduction to a place that’s charged with symbolism and significance for a huge number of people. Start off your day with an Israeli breakfast of shakshouka, a spicy tomato stew baked with eggs and served with fresh bread, usually shared between two. Restobar serve their tasty version with a sausage (from £9.50, 1 Ben Maimon Street, + 972 02 566 5126). 11:00 Whether or not you have a religious background, you’ll be itching to get to the Old City as quickly as possible to see the holy sites that are worshipped by Muslim, Jewish, Christian and Orthodox faiths. The main entrance into the Old City is through Jaffa Gate (Jaffa Road) and from there you can wander through narrow stone streets, passing shops that sell religious souvenirs – think tea towels printed with Jesus Christ’s face and bottles of holy water. 12:00 Start in the Christian Quarter at Via Dolorosa, the steep road along which Jesus is supposed to have carried his wooden cross before being crucified. If you arrive at the same time as one of the many pilgrimage tours which run there, you’ll see the bizarre sight of tourists from all over the world carrying their own huge crucifixes. 13:00 Make your way to the nearby Church of the Holy Sepulchre, a pilgrimage site since the 4th century AD, which is believed to be where Jesus rose from the dead. You’ll see the devoted kneel to kiss his tomb with immense reverence. 76

14:00 Move on to explore the Jewish Quarter of the Old City, which is where you’ll find the famous Wailing Wall. Dating back to 20BC, this is all that remains of the sacred Jewish Second Temple, which was destroyed by the Romans in AD70. You don’t have to be Jewish to approach the wall, but you do have to dress modestly, and there are different sections for men and women. Some worshippers write prayers on paper and stuff them into the cracks of the stones – they leave the wall walking backwards so they don’t turn their back on it. You’ll also see plenty of visiting school kids having a whale of a time observing this tradition to a fault. 16:00 You’re now very close to Temple Mount, which is one of the most contested religious sites in the world. The iconic Dome of The Rock is said by Islamic scholars to be the place from which Muhammad ascended to heaven, as told in the Quran. Non-Muslims are not allowed to enter during prayer times or Muslim holy days. The Foundation Stone, which the temple is built on, is the holiest site in Judaism – Jews pray towards this landmark in the same way Muslims pray in the direction of the Kaaba at Mecca. 19:00 After such an intensely historical and spiritual day, it’s time to wind down with a few drinks back in the New City. Mike’s Place (drinks about £4, mikesplacebars.com) has cheap drinks and a lively buzz. There are often bands playing downstairs, too. This was the first in an Israeli chain. DAY 2: 10:00 Start the day with breakfast near Zion Square (Jaffa Street). This area represents the wealthiest, most modern side of Jerusalem and is a great spot for people watching, as you’ll see young students, professionals

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Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

shopping and Hasidic Jews going about their business, while buskers provide the soundtrack. Grab a breakfast bagel and coffee from Holy Bagel (220 Jaffa Street, +972 02 538 5806). 12:00 Do your own shopping in the fashionable, artsy shops and boutiques around Ben Yehuda Street. Many of the gift shops here sell beauty products made with mud from the mineral-rich Dead Sea – they are far cheaper here than they would be back home. 14:00 Head to the east of the city, where a large number of the population are Muslim Palestinians. It’s much poorer and more ramshackle in this area. Pick up a lunch of street food from stalls selling bread, vegetables, falafel and orange juice near the East Jerusalem Central Bus Station (Sultan Suleiman Street). 16:00 Walk on to the Mount of Olives, a mountain ridge east of Jerusalem’s Old City. This has been used as a Jewish cemetery for over 3000 years and holds about 150,000 graves. It’s a great place from which to view the city below. 18:00 Head to the west of Jerusalem for dinner at Village Green (mains from £8, 33 Jaffa St, +972 02 625 3065), which serves delicious vegetarian food, including giant stuffed peppers, healthy salads and vegan chocolate cake. This is also a good place to drink beer at the plastic tables outside until sundown. British Airways flies direct to Tel Aviv (Ben Gurion) from £470 return britishairways.com A taxi from the airport to Jerusalem will cost you approximately £50.

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Winter sun THE WORLD

What winter? A sunny stroll on Unawatuna beach, Sri Lanka 78

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Fun in the sun Why stick out the coldest months in the grey and gloom, when you could bask in the sunshine somewhere exotic instead? WORDS HELEN ELFER

The weather’s horrible. Just take a look out the window. Can you see a promising patch of blue sky in the distance? No, thought not. Fact is, there’s going to be nothing but grey skies, drizzle and biting winds for the next few months. So there’s only one thing to do – check your bank balance, book some time off work and get on a plane to warmer climes. Worried you’re too skint? TNT has you covered. No matter how tight your budget, we’ve found a bargain break that will suit every taste. If you fancy spending a few days lying by a picturesque pool, Dubai’s your best bet, or for the more adventurous, take an African safari in Malawi, trek through Thailand’s jungle or hit the waves of the Canary Islands. But perhaps you’d rather a laid-back escape that involves sunsets and cocktails? Head to Rio de Janeiro, another amazing shoestring getaway. Read on to find out how. Best for beaches: Unawatuna, Sri Lanka When it’s wet and miserable outside, you shut your eyes for a second and picture yourself lying on warm, clean sand, waves lapping at your toes, sun beating down on your face and palm trees for shade. That scene in your mind looks exactly like Unawatuna, Sri Lanka. This small beach town has a dreamy, who-cares-about-therest-of-the-world kind of vibe. Hippy cafes plastered with yoga class posters line the ramshackle roads and small shops selling silver jewellery and handicrafts. Drinks are ridiculously cheap here (about 50p for a bottle of Lion Lager) and there is a whole line of beach bars on Unawatuna’s sands that stay open late. Unawatuna was hit hard by the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami and in the chaos of reconstruction, many bars and guest houses were built right on the beach without planning permission – they were desperate to get back in business as tourism is a lifeblood of the community. So it’s clear many of these venues weren’t built to last and will likely see their foundations erode at some stage, but for now this oversight means cheap rooms so close to the sea you could leap from your balcony into the waves at high tide. What else might you need from a beach getaway? There’s good surf at Unawatuna, and even better waves a 25-minute drive away at Mirissa beach. If for some crazy reason you get

bored of hanging on one of the prettiest beaches in Sri Lanka, you can always take a 10-minute tuk tuk ride to the quiet, colonial town of Galle (srilankatourism.org). GETTING THERE: Emirates flies from London to Colombo from £559 return. emirates.com Best for safaris: Nkhotakota, Malawi Practically everyone has some version of ‘see the big five in the wild’ on their before-I’m-30 or bucket list – tick it off this winter. While everyone in Britain is shivering at bus stops, bumping umbrellas and muttering apologies to each other, you could be far away, adventuring underneath the hot African sun. Sounds like the better option, doesn’t it? These safaris are never cheap, but if you’re willing to forgo the deluxe tour options (which can be the same price as a year’s rent) you can get some good deals, especially in Malawi, which has only just joined the handful of African countries where you can see the famous five. Majete Wildlife Park has the lot – lions, rhinos, leopards, buffaloes and elephants. But if you can live without seeing all of these, try the beautiful Nkhotakota Wildlife Reserve, also in Malawi, which has just as amazing creatures, including giraffes, giant kingfisher, falcons and much more. It’s also possible to get by without spending too much on your accommodation, as Bua River Lodge in Nkhotakota (buariverlodge.com) lets you camp for as little as £3.70 a night. The adventurous among you can go wild camping here, too, pitching a tent a stone’s throw from Namndinga Pool on the Bua River, which is home to some generously sized crocs. GETTING THERE: Kenya Airways flies to Malawi’s Lilongwe International airport via Nairobi from £641 return. kenya-airways.com Best for pool lounging: Dubai, UAE Everyone loves swimming pools in Dubai. Elaborate swim-up bars, fountains, infinity pools, Jacuzzis, lap lanes, paddling pools – you name it, they’ve got 100 of them here, almost always on the rooftops of hotels and apartment blocks. When the mercury rises to the high 20s here (which is pretty much all the time between April and November) the city’s ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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(Clockwise) Swimming in Dubai’s Wild Wadi Water Park; a friendly elephant in Chiang Mai; hitting the beach in sunny Rio de Janeiro residents and many visitors can’t wait to slather themselves in sun lotion and seek out the perfect pool to plunge into. If you need a little more than a quick dip and a day on the sunlounger to keep you entertained, fit in a trip to Wild Wadi Water Park (jumeirah.com; ‘sundowner’ tickets about £30). You’ll find giant wave pools, a long lazy river that you can drift around on a rubber ring and some terrifying water slides, including the Jumeirah Sceirah, which sends you down at a stomach-churning 80kmph. The water throughout the park is kept at 28ºC; warm in most parts of the world, but a cooling relief in the UAE’s scorching heat. Keep the pool theme going into the night and dress up for evening drinks at one of Dubai’s sensational pool bars. The Address Dubai Marina’s (theaddress.com) infinity pool looks as if the water tips right into the cityscape, making it a scenic place for shisha and cocktails. Media One’s The Dek on Eight (medionehotel.com) has a spacious palm-tree-lined outdoor pool area, and there’s a happy hour at the hotel’s Z:ONE cocktail bar every night from 6-9pm, where drinks cost just £4.20 a pop. Shop around for package deals to Dubai. You can bag five-night trips with flights for under £500. GETTING THERE: British Airways flies from London to Dubai from £588 return. britishairways.com

in tremendous scenery and get stuck into epic tasting sessions of the Western Cape’s best offerings. South African wine tours are as popular with younger tourists as they are older ones – join the right group and you’ll find nothing highfalutin about it. The guide will drive you, tell you what you’re about to drink and someone will pour it… and then pour some more. Because many of the tours are targeted at a young clientele, they’re priced accordingly. Easy Rider Specialist

Adventure Cape Town

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Best for boozing: Cape Town, South Africa

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Wine Tours (winetour.co.za) are one of the cheaper operators, who offer an all-inclusive full day for £30, with four vineyards, a cellar tour, cheese tasting and lunch. This one’s more about spending a day drinking rather than developing your palette. If you’re prepared to pay a little more for Tsiba Tsiba Wine Tours (tsibatsiba.co.za) you get the best of both. You can haggle for a price when booking. GETTING THERE: Qatar Airways flies to Cape Town via Doha for £562 return. qatarairways.com Best for trekking: Chiang Mai, Thailand Hardy trekkers like to have a dig at Chiang Mai, complaining of phoney hill tribe village stays and ‘remote’ hiking paths that couldn’t be more well-beaten if they were tarmaced. Don’t listen to the haters. We think that for trekkers starting out, Chiang Mai is one of the most fantastic places in the world to explore the jungle. The province has been a staple on the Thai backpacker circuit for years, meaning that while you’re not exactly exploring uncharted territory, the tour operator and guest house owner’s experience make it a mostly stress-free process. Sign up to a tour and before you know it you’ll be climbing onto elephants, walking along jungle paths, bamboo rafting down gentle rivers and camping under the stars. It’s cheap, too, with day treks starting from as little as £30. Be sure to book with a reputable operator – seek out the opinions of other backpackers you meet before committing to anything – and ask plenty of questions about what the owners are doing to ensure the trek is sustainable for the local area. GETTING THERE: Emirates flies from London to Bangkok via Dubai from £533 return. emirates.com Best for watersports: Gran Canaria, Canary Islands Get wet and wild in Gran Canaria, where the steadily warm temperatures and light breezes make it a perfect destination for watersports. The coast is lined with sailors, surfers, scuba divers, bodyboarders and waterskiers, but it’s windsurfing that most suits the climate of this sporty isle. You can practise all along the east and south coasts of this Spanish-ruled island off the coast of Morocco. Excellent conditions can be found at Las Palmas’ Playa de las Canteras

The Scilly Isles are warmer than London

Britain’s hot spots If time or funding factors mean you really can’t get abroad this winter, then at least try to get away for few days in one of the UK’s warmer corners. Isles of Scilly A walk on the beach in November might seem like finger-numbing madness, but Britain’s coastline, where the ocean moderates air temperature, is the warmest area in winter. The Isles of Scilly only get frosty a couple of days each a year, and the waters stay at 11-12°C throughout the winter. Not exactly perfect conditions for jumping in without a wetsuit, but still... simplyscilly.co.uk Jersey Last year, Jersey went to war with the Isles of Scilly, with an advertising campaign claiming that the Channel Island was “the warmest place in the British Isles”. The Isles of Scilly were miffed, convinced this was their title (their tourism authority even went so far as to claim Jersey wasn’t part of the UK proper anyway). Jersey stood their ground. Nobody came out of this scrap looking dignified, but all you need to know is that Jersey’s winter temperature averages a top of 8°C, which, of course, is considerably warmer than London. jersey.com

Wet ‘n‘ wild: windsurfing is all the rage in Gran Canaria

Portmeirion Here’s a bit of trivia for you: over the last century in the UK, temperatures have risen above 17°C only eight times in January – and every one of those times was on the coast of north Wales. The cosy town of Portmeiron catches warm dry winds that blow down the sheltered side of the mountains, making it a very pleasant place to escape the chills of the capital. portmeirion-village.com

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beach in the northeast and around Gáldar in the northwest. Club Mistral (club-mistral.com) offer reasonable rates for beginners in the Bahia Feliz bay, starting from £40 for a twohour lesson. GETTING THERE: easyJet flies from London to Gran Canaria from £306 return. easyjet.com Best for partying: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Brits say, “Just my cup of tea.” Brazilians say, “È minha praia” (“That’s my beach”). What more do you need to know about their approach to relaxing? Possibly the only activity that Cariocas are as good at as parading their scantily clad bodies along the seaside is partying hard. And when a pint of Rio’s favourite Brahma beer rarely costs more than £1.50, it would be rude not to join in the fun. Of course we don’t doubt that you’re more than capable of finding your own sensational bar, but if watching the sun set with a cold bevvy in your hand is your thing, we heartily recommend Azul Marinho (Avenida Francisco Bhering, tel. +55 21 2513 5014) on Arpoador beach, which extends from the famous Ipanema. Go. Drink. Enjoy. GETTING THERE: British Airways flies from London to Rio from £797 return. britishairways.com ❚

Fruity: tour Cape Town’s sunny vineyards

[Caption]

TRAVELLING IN THE HEAT? TOP TIPS FOR COOLING DOWN When you spend all day soaking up the sun, it’s easy to do yourself damage without realising it. Follow these top tips to take care of yourself in the sunshine.

KEEP YOUR NECK COOL This is a clever little trick – if you wear a cap backwards or raise your collar, this keeps the back of your neck in shade. The sensor for our body temperature control is in this area, so if you keep it shaded you can make the rest of your body feel cooler than it really is. Magic. FREEZE YOUR PILLOW If the heat’s keeping you up at night, wrap a small pillow in a plastic bag and pop it in the freezer for an hour or two before you go to bed. Take it out and use it to keep you cool, as you would use a hot water bottle to keep you warm.

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Photos: Getty, Thinkstock

STAY HYDRATED Make sure you keep drinking water during a day out in the sun, even if you don’t feel thirsty. Don’t quench your thirst with beer, even if it seems like the greatest idea in the world. The alcohol dehydrates you and plays a key role in giving you the hangover from hell the next day.

Safari: find giraffes and a kingfisher (below) in Malawi

NEXT WEEK Kitesurfing in Egypt: We take on the waves of El Gouna

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XMAS AND NEW YEAR a, La Tom FFT to Pamplon ith w d lle ve tra “ I have stival Rock! “ re next? - First Fe he W . st fe er ob kt and O

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*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.618, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

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£439 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 5 DAYS

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ROYAL HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS £315 DEPART EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 3 DAYS INCLUSIONS:

As per 5 Day Mega Highland Christmas

HOGMANAY & HIGHLANDS £409 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 7 DAYS OPTION 1 – 27 DECEMBER Highlands then Hogmanay OPTION 2 – 29 DECEMBER Hogmanay then Highlands

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INCLUSIONS:

HAGGIS HOGMANAY

£125 (Students £119)

£349 DEPARTS LONDON 30 DECEMBER - 4 DAYS

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY & DINGLE

INCLUSIONS:

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

£315 (Students £299)

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TRAVEL

RUGBY UNION WALLABIES & ALL BLACKS COME TO EUROPE THIS NOVEMBER N AUS v FRANCE Paris SAT 10 NOV fr£189 N AUS v ENGLAND Twickenham SAT 17 NOV £85 N AUS v ITALY Florence SAT 24 NOV £139 N AUS v WALES Cardiff SAT 1 DEC £139 N NZ v WALES Cardiff SAT 24 NOV £149 ✔ Match tickets ✔ Accom ✔ Transfers ✔ Merchandise

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30 DEC-2 JAN £239/269 N 4 Day Coach/Hostel Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN £309 N 3 Night Hostel / Hotel

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DOUBLE TROUBLE: To my beautiful twin sister, I can’t wait to travel around America with you for five weeks. You are the best thing in my life and spending our 30th birthday in Vegas is going to be mayhem. Let’s party like a rock star and rip shit up! Love you to the stars and back. Now bring on our dirty 30s. WOOP, WOOP! Georjia FLATPACK FAIL: To the cute South African (?) woman with short hair I met at Wembley Ikea about a month ago on a Saturday, I made a big mistake to leave without giving you my phone number. Was great talking to you and helping you choose pot plants! Hope your wooden floor is OK. Would love to talk again – second chance? Get in touch. Kiwi guy in black polo shirt YOU GIVE ME FEVER: You sang “koo-koo katchu” when I offered you a tissue on the Overground between Hoxton and Haggerston. Anyone who can look so hot when so ill is surely worth finding? Jeanette (baseball cap) IT’S NOT THEM, IT’S YOU: Your name isn’t Claude, you’re not on the French freestyle snowboard team, you’re not 21, you’re not a budding poet, you didn’t meet Saul Bellow, but you were funny and I would like to get to know the actual you. Dannii GENIUS MATCH: Say a bat and a ball cost £1.10 in total. The bat costs £1 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? If you answered 5p, call me, and we can have some clever babies. Marcus LADY AND THE TRAMP: To the homeless man in the

114 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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