TNT Magazine / Issue 1520

October 15-21 2012 Issue 1520 tntmagazine.com

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GET HIGH AS A KITE We learn the ropes kitesurfing in Egypt

A MAN’S BEST FRIEND Comedian Richard Herring talks c*ck

MORTAL COMBAT Try Israeli martial art Krav Maga

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LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Could Halloween be the best event on the annual calendar? You don’t have to buy anyone a present or attend dull family dinners. The only demands put upon the reveller are fancy dress and having a rollicking good time. So don’t let this one pass you by – flip to P8 for our pick of London’s best frighteningly good nights out on Oct 31. On a more serious note, it’s 10 years since the Bali bombings. We remember the victims and survivors on P52.

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

19

LONDON SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22&25

CHATROOM JAMES WALSH

27

LONDON SCENE

28-29

LONDON FOCUS

30-32

SPARE TIME

36

LIFESTYLE

37-47

SHOPPING

37

8

FEATURES SCARY SEASON

8

HEALTH & BEAUTY

38-39

We scoured London for the most weird, wacky and wicked Halloween activities

CAREERS

40-41

COCK AND BULL

MONEY

Photos: Sin Bozkurt, Thinkstock, Photobat/ Alan Moyle

12

45

Comedian Richard Herring explores how both sexes view a man’s best friend

LIVING

46-47

NEWS & SPORT

48-60

BALI BOMBING TRIBUTE

TRAVEL

63-84

It’s been 10 years since terrorist attacks in holiday haven Kuta killed 202 people

DIARY

64

NEWS

65

LATE DEALS

68

HOTSHOTS

69

TOP FIVE

70-71

TIPS & STUFF

72-73

48 HOURS IN... BUDAPEST

78-79

CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

86-113 114

30

30

UK’S BEST SNOW

52

66

It doesn’t have to be a trip to the Alps – Britain has some superb slopes, too

GOING GDANSK

74

The historical Polish city has it all for a fascinating break, without the crowds

FLYING HIGH

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Egypt’s El Gouna guarantees a kitesurfing adrenaline rush… with strings attached

80 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub / Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Features writer Jade Bremner

LONDONDIARY

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Immortal: sci-fi dance from Chunky Move

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Acting picture researcher Ruth Board DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad

SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Eddie Clinton Donovan Smith | Michael Fair Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh TNT MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Multimedia Limited DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 16 Brune St, London, E1 7NJ tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

PHONE 020 7989 0567 EMAIL sales@tntmagazine.com

Shhh... SECRET LONDON CHUNKY MOVE: MORTAL ENGINE QUEEN ELIZABETH HALL, SOUTHBANK CENTRE

The Melbourne-based dance company hits London with a spectacular show as part of the 2012 Ether Festival. Mortal Engine goes to stunning lengths to prove humans are anything but mortal in this dance-video-laser performance that illustrates how the body’s limits and finite abilities are an illusion. It features jaw-dropping visuals and choreography

by Gideon Obarzanek, and an accompanying score by musical inventor extraordinaire Ben Frost, who’s worked with pop and electronic music visionaries such as Bjork and Brian Eno. £15+

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Oct 19 & 20. 7.30pm Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX

Waterloo

BLOOMSBURY FESTIVAL

southbankcentre.co.uk

W FILM CLUB

NATIONAL BAKING WEEK

All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

This central London arts fest is looking to stake a claim to east London’s crown as the capital’s centre of cultural cool. There’s a packed weekend programme of dance and drama, poetry and performance, and more as community groups and organisations in the area take to the streets to celebrate, err, themselves.

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Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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Oct 19-21. Various times Various locations Holborn bloomsburyfestival.org.uk

This new movie club opens the doors to its state-of-the-art 39-seater, HD-kitted, comfyas-fuck screening room in which you can watch the latest releases in luxury. First up at this fortnightly event is On The Road, followed by Looper, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower and Killing Them Softly. £15+

From Oct 16. 8pm W London, W1D 6QF Tottenham Court Road wlondon.co.uk/film-club

It’s time to get in the kitchen, strap on that novelty pinny someone bought you for Christmas once – which you promptly shelved never to see the light of day – as NBW sees the nation go cake crazy. There are recipes to try, cake sales to sample and competitions for the competitive to win £700 of kitchen grub and gear.

FREE

Oct 15-21. Various times Various locations nationalbakingweek.co.uk

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Easy on the eyes?

DJ Seth Troxler

THE UN-ESTABLISHMENT

Nicholls and Clarke Building, Shoreditch This week-long pop-up, hosted by Kopparberg cider, has workshops and events to help you subvert expectations and buck the trend. There’ll be innovators from music, film, design and fashion: learn about Doodlebombing with illustrator Hattie Stewart; create your own GIF with artist Margot Bowman; or join a field trip with the Pothole Gardener.

There are also talks from Crack magazine and Seth Troxler (above), plus a pop-up Polaroid Portrait Studio for retro fun.

FREE

Oct 20-25. Various times E1 6PG Liverpool St

THIS IS ENGLAND: LIVE

STEVE MCQUEEN: KING OF COOL

As London moves closer to being the centre of the movie world, production company Warp Films has a special screening of director Shane Meadows’ ace punk, reggae and soul infused coming-of-age flick, This Is England. For the first time, composer Ludovico Einaudi will perform a live score to the movie, which spawned two TV series.

Proof that they just don’t make them like they used to anymore, this exhibition of photos by Life magazine photographer John Dominis of Hollywood icon Steve McQueen and his then wife Neile Adams is loaded with cool cars, kickass shades and super-cool Sixties fashion. No amount of CG-tweaking and 3D nonsense can ever compete!

Oct 19. 9pm BFI Southbank, SE1 8XT Waterloo bfi.org.uk

Until Oct 27. Open 10am-6pm Atlas Gallery, W1U 7NF Baker Street atlasgallery.com

£11.50

Photos: Andrew Curtis

facebook.com/kopparberguk

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LONDONNEWS BOJO APPROVES DISPUTED DEMOLITION

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Is this the future of London travel?

Boris Johnson has approved the partdemolition of the historic Fruit and Wool Exchange in Spitalfields to allow development of office and retail space.

Opponents of the scheme shouted “shame on you” when the London mayor made the announcement.

Johnson said the project would restore the building’s facade and regenerate the surrounding Spitalfields area.

However, historians have argued that demolishing the 1920s structure would damage the unique character of the area.

He is extremely disappointed by the verdict Justin Lee Collins’ publicist makes a statement after the comedian was found guilty of harassing former partner Anna Larke.

He has been sentenced to 140 hours of unpaid work

SEX CRIME ‘HOTSPOTS’ WILL BE CLOSED Scotland Yard is planning to use licensing laws to shut down pubs and clubs which “generate” high levels of rapes and sex assaults, it is reported.

Detective Chief Superintendent Mick Duthie said that just as licensing legislation is used to shut down establishments where violent incidents occur, the police are for the first time considering applying the same practises with regard to sex crimes.

ON THE TUBE

Swim to work scheme

Design studio pitches the London LidoLine into your commute If you thought the Boris Bike was a nifty little addition to the London commute, get a load of this – plans are afoot to install swim-to-work canals across the capital.

Islington-based [Y/N] Studio has proposed transforming London’s canals into the ‘LidoLine’, a network stretching between Little Venice and Limehouse.

“The canals used to be functional routes for industry, but now they’ve become purely recreational,” [Y/N] Studio’s Alex Smith told the BBC of his and colleague David Lomax’s vision.

The project proposes inserting a threelayer tube into the canal that would allow people to swim alongside boats, while also filtering the water free of all the grub and grime – good news for anyone nervous

about swallowing whatever’s floating in London’s canals.

The studio’s plans also include changing facilities and lockers at ‘stations’ along the way, plus the option for introducing frozen lanes in the winter for ice skating. Hmm, seems plausible, no?

The LidoLine project is being entered into the Landscape Institute’s competition to find a London equivalent of New York’s raised High Line public park, an ingenious green urban space that runs along a disused elevated train line.

It might sound a little bit far-fetched, but should the project win the competition, we could find ourselves packing our Speedos/bikinis for work before long.

Though we may be well advised to seek out a thermal swimwear range.

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEKEND’S CLOSURES

CIRCLE: No service all weekend DISTRICT: No service between Earls Court and Edgware Road and between Barking and Upminster all weekend

JUBILEE: No service between Stanmore and West Hampstead all weekend

METROPOLITAN: No service between Harrow-on-the-Hill and Aldgate all weekend

NORTHERN: No service between Tooting

and Highbury & Islington all weekend

6

Photos: [YN] Studio

Broadway and Morden all weekend

VICTORIA: No service between Brixton

Last week we brought you the best of ‘weird London’, but if your appetite for the strange is still to be satiated, check out the Twin Peaks UK Festival on October 20.

Celebrating David Lynch’s bizarre cult TV drama – one of the top-rating shows of the 1990s, despite its rather niche saturation in the surreal – this fest at Riverside Studios in Hammersmith will feature screenings, performances, cabaret, burlesque and, perhaps most oddly, the chance to sip on official David Lynch Coffee.

A full day of events from 10am until after midnight ends with a quiz and costume contest at the in-house Fat Trout Trailer Park Diner. Tickets cost £60 and include doughnuts and cherry pies – obviously. See twinpeaksukfestival.com for more.

Relive the legend of Lynch’s Twin Peaks

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Less is more: The Last Tuesday Society

Halloween horror!

Photos: Sin Bozkurt

Take part in a séance, dance by candlelight or eat a cupcake that looks like an STD. It can only be... Halloween WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN Toenail fungus cookies, resurrected corpses and scary séances. If you thought All Hallows’ Eve was for kids, think again. From debauched, Kafkaesque gatherings in Satanic halls to an exhibition of anatomically correct desserts, London will be celebrating this spooky time in its usual darkly flamboyant style. Here, we highlight some of our favourite events.

For the uninitiated, The Last Tuesday Society is renowned for its elegant, exhibitionist parties – but, be warned, there’s always a twist. So expect things to go bump (and grind) in the night at its two Halloween extravaganzas.

Held in an abandoned picture palace, Satan’s Rout (October 26) will be recreating five infamous parties from the world of literature. Expect murder scenes, corpses, a gay orchestra and electric shock treatment.

The following night, those with a penchant for all things undead will find their cravings sated at The Halloween Masked Ball. Try to contact those in the after-world in the séance room, experiment with instruments of torture or dance the night away in candlelit hallways.

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“It wouldn’t be Halloween if it didn’t feel just a little like hell... strange beasts feasting on things and doing thoroughly nasty things to each other, but in a beautiful, drunken way,” event host Viktor Wynd says. “There will be dancing, there will be feasting, there will be blood, there will be corners to hide in, rooms to lose yourself in, people to meet, people to hide from.”

Mark our words, glamorous attire is a must and nudity is encouraged – these parties aren’t for wallflowers.

If that sound more like melodrama than a good giggle, how about tucking into a wedding cake decorated to resemble sexually transmitted diseases?

Chomp on frighteningly realistic melanoma cupcakes and swallow polycystic kidney cakes at a bizarre anatomy-themed festival at London’s Pathology Museum.

Curated by Emma Thomas, aka Miss Cakehead, Eat Your Heart Out (October 26-28) will attempt to educate visitors about anatomy and disease through the unusual medium of cakes, cookies and cocktails.

Baker Jeni Powell is creating a range of horrific-looking treats for the event

based on venereal diseases, one of which will be a five-tier wedding cake with each layer reflecting a different STD. “The process always starts with getting the idea and researching it – not for the faint-hearted in this kind of project!” Powell says.

“Then it’s just about playing with different techniques to get the most realistic effect possible. I tried quite a few ways to get a scab looking good, but crushed up cornflakes mixed with lemon curd and painted with edible paints was the winner.”

However, don’t think you’ll just be going down for a dose of Halloween horror – make sure you bring a ravenous appetite with you.

“There’s as much emphasis on taste as appearance,” Powell says. “If you can get over the fact that it looks like you’re eating warts or carbuncles or drinking stomach contents, you’re in for a real treat.”

Happy Halloween!

MORE HALLOWEEN EVENTS ›› Last Tuesday Society thelasttuesdaysociety.org Eat Your Heart Out evilcakes.wordpress.com

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Tu pa

Saturday 27 October Business Design Centre Islington N1 0QH 9.30am - 5.30pm

Tuck in: treats made to look like body parts are on offer at Eat Your Heart Out

Free if you pre-register at tnttravelshow.com*

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CHILLS IN THE CHAPEL ISLINGTON

HALLOWEEN HIKE HYDE PARK Hyde Park has an enjoyably ghoulish past. During a night-time stroll with a guide, find out about the tragedy of the drowning of Percy Shelley’s first wife, the 18th-century executions at the Tybern Gallows and the criminals that were imprisoned in the Old Police House. Although there’ll be kids at this event, it’ll be spooky enough for adults as well. £8

Union Chapel, the allegedly haunted music venue, will transform into Frankenstein’s Castle for one night only. Classic 1974 comedy-horror Young Frankenstein will be screened and Flying Fleas Productions will put on a freaky sideshow that will include real-life characters from the movie. This vibey venue is worth a visit in its own right. £10

Oct 27, 7pm Compton Avenue, N1 2XD Highbury & Islington unionchapel.org.uk

DAY OF THE DEAD FESTIVAL WATERLOO The spooky tunnels running underneath Waterloo will be transformed into a secret arts venue and Mexican street kitchens for Wahaca’s four-day fiesta. The ticket price includes food and two devilish cocktails made from specialty tequila. There’ll also be visual arts screenings, installations, performance, photo exhibitions, DJs and live bands playing everything from metal to jazz. £51

Oct 31, 5.30pm-7pm Isis Education Centre at The LookOut, Hyde Park, W2 2UH Lancaster Gate royalparks.org.uk

Oct 31-Nov 3, 7pm-late The Old Vic Tunnels, Station Approach Road, SE1 8SW Waterloo oldvictunnels.com

ALICE COOPER: NIGHT OF FEAR WEMBLEY

THE WATER POET LIVERPOOL STREET It wouldn’t be Halloween without camp, technicolour horror.

Head to this beloved hipster pub for screenings of Beetlejuice and Hocus Pocus.

Come dressed in your best spooky outfit and enjoy a slug of ‘Beetlejuice Punch’. £4

Scary on so many levels, haggard rocker Alice Cooper will be bringing his black-eyed, high-energy performance to Wembley Arena, along with Loaded and Ugly Kid Joe. There will be goths and gore galore. £42

THEATRE OF THE DAMNED ALDGATE Immersive theatre show The Horror!

The Horror! will take you on a promenade through the backrooms of the elegantly dilapidated Wilton’s Music Hall. Watch saucy and sentimental singers, magicians, comedians and performing animals. But the renovations have dug up something ancient and evil, and, as the evening winds on, expect terrible things to start to happen ...

Oct 24-Nov 7, 7.30pm & 9.30pm 1-4 Graces Alley, E1 8JB Tower Hill wiltons.org.uk

£17

10

Oct 28, 7pm Wembley Stadium, HA9 0WS Wembley Central alicecooper.com

Oct 31, 7pm 9-11 Folgate Street, E1 6BX Liverpool Street waterpoet.co.uk

BELLE EPOQUE HALLOWEEN PARTY SHOREDITCH

House beats and dancing mayhem will take over this latenight club at Cargo. Spooky costumes are encouraged but may get sweaty.

If you like the sound of a fancy dress boat trip down one of London’s canals, or a ghost story telling session, don’t let your age hold you back! Boat trips set off regularly, so book your place.

Dress in your vintage finery and sink into a world of opulent decadence. Lined up for the Belle Epoque Halloween party are treats such as an absinthe fountain, acrobatic performers, velvet-draped balconies and live bands.

With jazz and rock ‘n’ roll as your soundtrack, this night will be all about old-school glamour, so indulge.

Oct 27, 8pm-5am (free pre-9pm) 83 Rivington Street, EC2A 3AY Shoreditch High St cargo-london.com

Oct 27-28, 3pm-9pm 12-13 New Wharf Road, N1 9RT King’s Cross canalmuseum.org.uk

Oct 27, 8pm-2am 54 Holywell Lane, EC2A 3PQ Shoreditch High St belleepoqueparty.com

SEDUKTION HALLOWEEN PARTY SHOREDITCH FREE

£20

CANAL MUSEUM ISLINGTON £10

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GOTHIC MAGIC LANTERN SHOW HACKNEY

PHOBOPHOBIA LONDON BRIDGE Revel in being made to jump out of your skin at the London Bridge Experience’s Halloween special, Phobophobia. As you make your way through the blood-soaked catacombs in near-darkness, you’ll be confronted by psycho doctors, twisted clowns, spiders, snakes and the rabid undead. It’s a proper fairground ride-style thrill fest, taking you through 2000 years of horrible history in one night. £10+

’Professional lanternist’ Professor Mervyn Heard will host this evening of ghost-raising entertainment. Watch in awe as he conjures the illusions of Phantasmagoria with his 19th-century magic lantern in two shows. Then watch skeletons waltz across the wall and nuns bleed to their death in a resurrection of this lost art, which was once used by magicians and mediums. £10

Oct 31, 6pm and 8pm 11 Mare Street, E8 4RP Bethnal Green thehendrickslectureseries.co.uk

TNT HALLOWEEN AFTER PARTY OLD STREET Celebrate bagging bargain holidays at the TNT Travel Show with our Halloween-themed after party. Don your fancy dress and enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails until 9pm. There’ll be DJs ensuring murder on the dancefloor and the bestdressed guest wins an awesome prize. Fancy queue jumping?

Buy a VIP pass to the TNT Travel Show (£10) and you’ll get free, fast-tracked entry to the after party and a goodie bag. £10

Oct 26-31, 6pm-9.30pm 2-4 Tooley Street, SE1 2SY London Bridge thelondonbridgeexperience.com

Oct 27, 7.30pm William Blake, 174-180 Old Street, EC1V 9BP Old Street tntmagazine.com/halloween

HALLOWEEN MASQUERADE FITZROVIA

HALLOWEEN SEASON PUB WALK SOUTHWARK

This costumed event at cocktail den The Lucky Pig is hosted by the warm-and-fuzzy sounding Doctor Death, who’ll be lurking in the shadows giving out shots of ‘blood’.

Book to avoid missing out.

London Walks have a new ghost tour for the scary season with this Spooky Southwark pub crawl. Meet your bubbly guide Bloodline (aka Katy) outside the exit from Blackfriars Tube.

Oct 31, 7.30pm The Lucky Pig, 4 Clipstone Street, W1W 6BB Great Portland Street theluckypig.co.uk

Oct 27, 7.15pm Queen Victoria St Blackfriars walks.com

FREE

SCHOOL OF SPOOKY SLAPSTICK SHOREDITCH Create and star in your own silent horror film. After a screening of classic silent comedy shorts, you’ll be trained in silent comedy acting skills, with props and costumes provided, and then filmed. Professional theatre tutors, cameramen and editors will be on hand and, after the session, you’ll be sent your creation on DVD. £20

Oct 29, 7pm The Book Club, 100-106 Leonard St, EC2A 4RH Old St schoolofslapstick.com

£9

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL BETHNAL GREEN

CLIMB OF THE CURSED GREENWICH

Rich Mix is putting on a show of ‘live music cult film fusion’ – we’re told to expect dead naked women in fridges, knife-edge erotica and giant eel wrestling – for this special Halloween event.

Up at The O2 gets a fearsome twist with both tricks and treats accompanying your climb to the summit. After-dark ascents are likely to be the spookiest – the last one leaves ‘base camp’ at 10pm.

Oct 31, 7pm 35-47 Bethnal Green Road, E1 6LA Shoreditch High Street richmix.org.uk

Oct 27-Nov 4, 10am-10pm The O2, Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk

£14

£22

TERROR 2012: ALL IN THE MIND SOHO Reassuring for those who like to be seriously frightened, this event has a suggested 18+ entry policy. The show is a collaboration between playwrights and cabaret artists, and claims to be “the UK’s only annual season of horror” and Grand Guignol.

Expect poetically dark gothic terror. Chilling tales will be interspersed with cabaret. £10+

Oct 16-Nov 3, 7.30pm.

Soho Theatre, 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE Oxford Circus terrorseason.com

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MYLONDON

K E E P MISSING YOUR

TNT?

RICHARD OAKES MUSICIAN - ARTMAGIC What baffles me about London is how one place can have so much history – there are so many great and terrible things in the capital’s past. A lot of big cities have no memory, but with London you can feel it, especially when wandering round the South Bank, London Bridge and Greenwich.

London’s best-kept secret is the outskirts. People visit London and stay near the centre and the only open spaces they see are the Royal Parks.

A lot of the parks nearer London’s edge are more natural and beautiful.

When I want to chill out I wander around Brent Lodge Park in W7, near where I was born. It’s one of those places that’s beautiful in summer and winter. The Wharncliffe Viaduct in Ealing – Queen Victoria used to halt her train when crossing it because she loved the view so much – is amazing.

Who’s the most interesting person you’ve met? I’ve a feeling I’m supposed to name-drop here. Sean [McGhee, producer/vocalist] told me he once met P. Diddy in London and he was interesting for all the wrong reasons.

My favourite place for a drink is The Fox pub in Hanwell by the canal.

It’s a good job I don’t live any closer as I’d be in there all the time.

For when you’re hungover in London you can’t beat somewhere quiet, which is pretty difficult! I moved to W7 because it was so peaceful and green.

What gets me up in the morning? Music: it’s my obsession, my hobby and my career. I can’t begin to imagine life without music.

My perfect weekend would be in summer. I always look forward to the festivals, both as a performer and a punter. My favourite is the End Of The Road in Dorset. It’s a shame London doesn’t have any as good as that.

What was the last naughty thing you did? I’ve been on tour with Suede on and off for two years now, and touring brings out the worst in people.

I have a Marx Brothers-like urge to destroy any pomposity in any situation, but I keep it bottled pretty well. One day I may crack, though.

Five words that sum up London ... History, ambition, greed, poverty, tourism. artmagicmusic.com Debut album Become The One You Love is out now 12

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LONDONDRINKS

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Spy novel inspiration?

BAR THE SCENE Having a drink in Duke’s is like being in the living room of extremely loaded family friends that you don’t know very well. There’s dark oak panelling, expensive looking fireplaces and imposing portraits of His Highness God-knowswho everywhere. Drinks trolleys look as though they’ve been wheeled over the same carpet for generations. Men in extremely expensive suits outnumber ladies about 10 to one. The point of all this heavy-handed, old-fashioned Englishness?

Well, Ian Fleming used to be a regular, and the bar is said to have inspired the legendary Bond bar specification: ‘Shaken not stirred.’

THE GRUB It’s all about the nibbles. New dishes of bright green Sorrentino olives arrive as fast as you can eat them, along with bowls of crackers and nuts.

BEHIND THE BAR You’d be crazy not give their martinis a go. The bartender will talk you through the whole mixing process, with the lemon zest from the Amalfi Coast, the freezing cold Potocki vodka, and the dry vermouth brewed exclusively for Duke’s in Highgate. The end result is a real world-class tipple. If martinis aren’t your thing, try the other Bond-themed cocktails, such as the Vesper or the Moneypenny.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails start from £16.95; spirits from £8; glasses of wine from £6.75; pint of beer from £6.50.

VERDICT Brilliant London experience with superbly tasty (if pricey) drinks. HELEN ELFER

Dukes Hotel, 35-36 St James’s Place, SW1A 1NY

3 OF THE BEST ‘HEALTHY’ MENUS

14

dukeshotel.com

Green Park

SKINNY DRINKS

LIGHT BITES

SLIMMING SUSHI

A new menu of cocktails that come in at less than 100 calories each has been launched at TGI Friday’s.

Banish all guilt about lengthy booze sessions with the skinny Long Island Iced Tea or a fresh blueberry mojito.

Italy’s aperitivo tradition (serving light bites free of charge with drinks) has now landed in London. Head to Il Tempo in Covent Garden for homemade pasta, healthy veg and freshly whipped up pesto between 5.30-8.30pm.

Who said fast food couldn’t be healthy? Pick up low-cal plates straight from the belt at Yo! Sushi, where mainstays such as miso soup and tuna nigiri will only cost you 56 and 88 calories respectively.

Guilt-free gorging.

tgifridays.co.uk

iltempo.co.uk

yosushi.com

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BITE SIZE

Odyssey: Homa takes taste buds on a journey

POSH DOGS The trend for gourmet fast food (think Lucky Chip and Meat Liquor) is having its way with the humble hot dog at Searcys Champagne Bar in Paddington Station. The newly launched British Bulldog is a high-class version of the streetside snack, intended for pairing with champagne – although, mercifully, the price tag remains reasonable at £4.50. So why is it we can consider this particular ‘dawg’ a cut above the rest? The sausage is sculpted from a rare breed of pig farmed only in Wales, there’s a bespoke brioche bun from London’s Millers Bespoke Bakery, and the beetroot and horseradish relish has been sourced from an indie producer, also in Wales. The final gourmet garnish is a sprinkling of hazelnut and tomato powder. Fancy. searcyschampagnebars.co.uk

HOMA MODERN EUROPEAN

PIPSDISH TO STAY Like many a pop-up before it, PipsDish at The Garage in Islington (pictured above) may soon have to relinquish its trendy prefix as the restaurant’s season has been extended. Serving farm-totable Brit fare in a former car repair shop, you can now snap up three courses for £30 and BYOB until at least the end of the Christmas festivities. pipsdish.co.uk

OYSTER FESTIVAL Slurp on some slippery little suckers at Thai restaurant SUDA in Covent Garden this week, which is having its very own Oyster Festival in tandem with mollusc specialists Maldon Oysters. Try a range of Thai takes on fresh UK produce for £6 per dish.

THE SCENE Stoke Newington’s Church Street is so utopian it feels almost dystopian; a high street existing in a bubble, frequented by high-level members of The Party, whilst all around it people merely subsist. And, in many ways, that’s not far from the truth. For now, however, Church Street and its lovely modern European brasserie, Homa, remain open to the proles.

Homa is in a converted Georgian townhouse. Outside there’s an array of coloured seating, inside they’ve worked hard to make it feel bright and the tables are almost universally well-situated around a skylight. Almost universally, because the first one we’re plonked down on, despite there being many other empty tables, is clearly what I’d call the dud, behind a whacking great pillar, a place where no table really belongs. We ask to move, and are grudgingly allowed.

The exchange sets the tone for the rest of the evening.

THE GRUB Ordering is more of an ordeal than it ought to be, so thrown is our waitress by the question as to whether a dish has nuts in it or not. A question on top of being asked to move? The food itself is excellent: my starter of heritage tomatoes and mozzarella with basil puree is wonderfully fresh and balanced, and the main dish of rib steak with truffle potato puree and broad beans tastes as it looks, beautiful. My dining partner is impressed with her confit duck and describes her hake as tasting “almost good enough to abide the service”. I ask for whisky, but I’m told they’ve run out, although I’m sure I spy a half-full bottle on the shelf.

We then have to almost plead for the bill, from which we don’t hesitate to ask to have the service charge removed.

An impressive wine list starting at £21 per bottle. Beer from £3.50.

Starters from £6.50; mains from £12; sides £4; desserts from £5.50.

VERDICT Really reasonably priced, fine dining-quality food and I dare say our experience wasn’t indicative of the restaurant’s service generally. OLI JONES BEHIND THE BAR BILL PLEASE

suda-thai.com 71-73 Church Street, N16 0AS

homalondon.co.uk

Manor House

Stoke Newington

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Timmy Mallet called – he wants his style back

ALASDAIR MORTON FOR THE RECORD Maintaining your punk, DIY, ethical roots is tough. It’s even tougher to appease the fans for whom the slightest indiscretion is a sign of ‘selling out’.

Poor Frank Turner has had to bear the brunt of this – the polemic-driven frontman of Million Dead carved a niche for himself as the road dog solo artist, touring the nation’s length with a guitar, tunes about social inequality and standing strong in the face of adversity.

Last year’s England Keep My Bones was an instant classic, then he played Wembley and the Olympics opening ceremony and everyone yelled: “Sell out!” Now, as if to taunt them, he’s launched his own beer, too, called Believe, which is described as “a modern twist on the traditional wheat beer”.

Is he a sell out? An opportunist?

A visionary bringing DIY aesthetics to the brewery trade? All three? He’s probably just someone who likes the idea of having a beer to call his own.

HOT CHIP Brixton Academy, 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL OCT 18-19 | DOORS AT 7PM | £20

The bespectacled boffins who straddle the worlds of dance, indie and pop hit back this year with their fifth long player, the utterly fantastic In Our Heads, which they’ll be dipping into for this sure-to-be-best-of duo of shows.

Birthed in 2000 when members Joe Goddard and Alexis Taylor found they had a mutually eclectic love of music, Chip’s first success came with Over And Over, an NME mag ‘best single’ award-winning guitar-led humdinger that soundtracked a summer (hell, the whole damn year). Sophomore album The Warning, from which it was taken, stirred soul, disco and bona fide pop into the brew before they branched out further with the follow up, Made In The Dark, two years later.

Fusing house with electro, guitars and a pop song-orientated approach, as well as throwing many, many more genres into the mix, Hot Chip cemented their place as the chart-bothering indie band it was OK for dance heads to like, and vice versa. Four years later and they’re a Brit scene institution who have toured the globe, smashed dancefloors everywhere and even branched out further this year with Goddard’s party-tracking The 2 Bears side project.

Support for Thursday night comes from Glaswegian sonic pirate Rustie, who’s worked with the likes of fellow genre-confounder Hudson Mohawke. Lining up for the Chip’s second night is Scottish-bred, north London-based indie outfit Django Django, who have been nominated for next month’s Mercury Music Prize for their debut self-titled album.

Brixton

20

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MR SCRUFF

NEW BAND

GIG SAT, OCT 20. 9.30PM £15

A music-fan-made-star, Andrew McCarthy, aka Mr Scruff, has been sharing his musical loves for years now, becoming a DJ par excellence in his own right. Here, he makes one of his many sojourns to north London’s Koko for a night of tunes, taking in everything from hip-hop to electronica to left field oddities set to stun.

Photos: Getty

Koko 1a Camden High Street, NW1 7JE Mornington Crescent koko.uk.com

DISCO SHED PRESENTS: TROJAN SOUNDSYSTEM

MOVIDA CORONA DJ CONTEST UK FINAL

CLUB

CLUB

FRI, OCT 19. 8PM-2AM £5

WED, OCT 16. 10PM-6AM £5

The Book Club celebrates its third birthday with a face-off as two stalwarts of the festival scene come head to head. Disco Shed Soundsystem, represented by Count Skylarkin, Peepshow Paddy and DJ BarryDark, and Trojan Soundsystem’s Earl Gateshead and Daddy Ad are set to rock the dancefloor in this contest.

MoS and Movida Corona have teamed up for this nationwide hunt for the next superstar DJ. There have been heats across the length and breadth of the country, culminating in this grand final at London’s legendary club, the winner going into the international finals, as well as nabbing a MoS DJ set, too.

The Book Club 100-106 Leonard Street, EC2A 4RH Old Street wearetbc.com

Ministry of Sound 103 Gaunt Street, SE1 6DP Elephant & Castle ministryofsound.com/club

ERRORS

STAFFORD BROTHERS

GRIZZLY BEAR

GIG

CLUB

GIG

THURS, OCT 18. 7PM £10.50

SUN, OCT 21. 3PM-11PM Free

MON, OCT 22. 7PM £22.50

Post-electro rockers from north of the border bring their dense and diverse bass-heavy houserock to town, in support of this year’s third long player Have Some Faith In Magic as well as the new EP New Relics, which landed earlier this month. Like a dark, broody club scene that’s strapped a guitar on.

Matt and Chris are many things: world-touring house DJs, the first Australian deck-jockies to get their own reality TV show and their nation’s number one party soundtrackists two years running according to InTheMix DJ awards. They are also playing this special Clapham Sunday show. Home-spun talent up close and intimate.

Nu-folk looked a dodgy, trad trend, but this Brooklyn troupe take the folk format and turn it on its head by injecting some Shins-esque pop hooks, some Field Music inventiveness and a load of Mogwai-muso-magic to their own creative blend of psych-rock aceness. Touring in support of their latest album, Shields.

Heaven Under The Arches, WC2N 6NG Embankment heaven-live.co.uk

Gigalum 7-8 Cavendish Place, SW4 9DW Clapham South gigalum.com

Brixton Academy 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL Brixton o2academybrixton.co.uk

YES CADETS THE BUZZ SO FAR They’ve toured with the likes of indie heroes Yuck and The Guillemots, and a rough and ready recording of song Le Mans found them attention last year, when they were short-listed for Radio One airplay and played the Introducing Stage at Glastonbury.

Mining a danceable indie-disco-pop vein reminiscent of Friendly Fires and LCD Soundsystem, the Northern Irish trio have released their debut EP Le Mans and will be looking to build on the early noise they’ve made.

THE CRITICS SAY “They are getting us very excited with a string of subtley epic indie-pop releases” BBC THE PLUG Le Mans is out now through Humming Records. Show at Bull & Gate, November 5. £5 389 Kentish Town Road, NW5 2TJ Kentish Town bullandgate.co.uk

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 15 Anthem Resident DJs play punk, rock, indie, emo and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, w/ flyer £3, guestlist £2, £1 before 11pm.

BOOK NOW!

Droppin’ Science DJs Matman and Daredevil spin hip-hop with funk, soul bangers, reggae and trap. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. Free.

Embassy Of Good DJ Dementia, Mr Rive and DJ Mr Tobs spin boogie, Afrobeat, electro, funk, Latino, disco, techno and hip-hop, plus a live performance from Glass Diamond. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 6pm-1am. £8, guestlist £6, £5 before 8pm.

Jazz Cafe And Supa Dupa Fly Present Jazzy Jeff And Skillz, Big Ted and Emily Rawson spin 1990s and early 2000s hip-hop and R‘n’B. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). 7pm. £22.50.

Monday Resident DJs play pop, dance and R‘n’B . Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

Pacha Rocks DJs play funky house, dance and pop. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

10pm-late. £5, adv £4.

TUESDAY 16 Candy Boys Resident DJs spin dance and pop. Candy Bar, Carlisle St, W1D 3BJ (020 7494 4041). 7pm-3am. Free.

Chocolate Tuesdays DJs provide Latin soul, Kizomba, salsa, reggae, samba and groove to accompany dance classes. Gem, Beak St, W1F 9RA (020 7437 0239). 9pm-1am. £5.

F.I.S.H. DJs play house, disco and minimal techno. Covert, Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP (020 7820 6757).

11pm-late. £8, w/flyer £5 before 1am.

Forro Resident DJs spin Baile funk, house, urban Latin, reggaeton and pop, plus live music. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

Phone for times. £5, free before 8pm.

Juicy London DJs Oscar Wildstyle and Wiggie Smalls, Grandmaster Flash, Biz Markie and Just Blaze play a mix of bass, classic R‘n’B and hip-hop tracks. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.15am. £3, guestlist £2.

Village Underground. Fri, Nov 2. £27.50 The DJ known under many guises performs a JJ Doom set and other material at this East End show with supports that play like a hip-hop fan’s dream.

EC2A 3PQ

Old Street

villageunderground.co.uk

WEDNESDAY 17 Beach Bum DJ Larry Sun plays a mash-up of dance, hip-hop, electro and party. Ladybird Bar, Upper St, N1 0NY (020 7359 1710). 9pm-2am. Free.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Droppin’ Science And Jazz Cafe Present DJ Doo Wop spins hip-hop, rap and R‘n’B tracks with Jeru the Damaja and Sadat X, with support from DJs Matman and Daredevil. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). 7pm-late. £13.50.

Gigolo House, pop and disco from residents and guests. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. concs £5.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Smile DJs play funky house, club classics and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £4, £3 before midnight.

Those That Know Resident DJs play a mix of hip-hop, dubstep, electro, R‘n’B and dance tracks. Catch, Kingsland Rd, E2 8DA (020 7729 6097). 8pm-midnight. Free.

THURSDAY 18

Livin Proof Present Snips, DJ Rags, DJ Khalil and Budgie spin hip-hop, with a live performance from LA rapper Dom Kennedy.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 8pm-1am. Adv £10.

Bones Brigade Thursdays DJ Francois supplies upbeat rock, pop and 1990s dance.

Zigfrid, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (0871 984 2824). 9pm-late. Free.

Gilles Peterson Jazz and Latin courtesy of the former Radio 1 DJ, plus live music from Nick Mulvey, Eska and Ayanna WitterJohnson. The House Of St Barnabas In Soho, Greek St, W1D 4NQ (020 7437 1894). 7.30pm. £20.

Homegrown DJs Ronnie Joice and Ali Valium spin electro, alternative and pop, with live performances from The Wildes, Findlay and Tied To The Mast. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 7.30pm-1am. Free.

Stupid Tuesday DJs play funky house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

I Love Fwd Electronica, rock, garage and dubstep courtesy of resident DJs. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 9.30pm-2am. £7.

22

Dean DeNeilson Leaving Party Resident DJs play dance, house and club classics. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

The Paradise Show Jim Sharp plays funk, soul and rocking vintage blues. Paradise By Way Of Kensal Green, Kilburn Ln, W10 4AE (020 8969 0098).

8pm-2am. £5 after 9pm.

Hot Chip Official Afterparty Al Doyle and Felix Martin (Hot Chip) spin electro, house, disco and techno. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). 8pm-4am. £10.

Pinup Peepshow Swing and electro from resident DJs, plus live burlesque and cabaret performances from Velma Celli, Miss Vienna Green, Ben Brown, Teddy Boy and Mia Merode.

Proud Cabaret, Mark Ln, EC3R 7AH (020 7482 3867). 8.30pm-late. £10.

Jungle Fever Vs. Pure Science Jungle and drum ‘n’ bass supplied

by DJs Jungle Fever and Pure Science. The Coronet, New Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500).

10pm-7am. Adv £10 & £20.

DOOM

Jack Beats Niall Dailly and Ben Giffen spin dance.

Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 7pm-late. £15.

Jungle Syndicate Mute:8 Recordings spin drum ‘n’ bass.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm6am. £10, £8 before midnight.

Mixmag Live Presents DJs Carl Craig, Paul Woolford, Glimpse, Adeline and Jonny Cade spin house, techno and electro. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). 6pm-4am. Adv £16.

Laid Blak Album Tour Date Laid Blak, General Roots, Alonestar, Miss Blackman and DJ Bunjy spin hip-hop, reggae, rap, rock and pop. Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137).

8pm-midnight. £7, adv £5.

Mutant Disco Meets Darius Syrossian Darius Syrossian, Colin Chiddle, Scott Kemp, Black Plastic, Will Taylor and Joe Morley spin house and disco. Question Mark Bar, Stoke Newington High St, N16 0PH (020 7682 1346). 9pm-5am. £10.

Love Present Rob Bailey and Chris Dale supply 1960s club soul, ska, Motown, R‘n’B and boogaloo. Orleans, Seven Sisters Rd, N4 2HZ (020 72841 8482).

10pm-late. £5, free before midnight.

On The Real Hip-hop and rap courtesy of DJ Maseo, Spin Doctor, Mr Thing, Chris P Cuts, plus host MC Prankster. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

10pm-3.30am. Adv £7 & £10.

Oxjam Shoreditch Presents Grime, house and garage, with ChockABlock, Logan Sama, Mark Radford, Mike Delinquent, Syron, C4, Donntwatchthat.tv, Livin’ Proof and Gabriel Heatwave.

Relay, Bermondsey St Tunnel, SE1 3JW (020 7403 7730). 8pm-2am. £8.

University of Dub Presents Roots Dance Skanking King Alpha, Ras Joseph, Ras Peter, Jah Voice and Aba-Shanti-I spin dub and reggae. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). 10pm-6am. £12.

Tweetbox Mr TPFD spins Number Ones from the year you were born.

The Book Club, Leonard St, EC2A 4RH (020 7684 8618). 8pm-2am. Free.

Uprise Audio Label Launch Dubstep and bass music courtesy of DJs Seven, Youngsta, Andrew VC, Chewie, T_!, Dubtek, Nanobyte, Yayne and Joe Raygun.

East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3am. Free.

FRIDAY 19 Club Kali Bhangra, house, Bollywood, R‘n’B and Arabic courtesy of DJs Ritu and Dilz. The Dome, Dartmouth Park Hill, N19 5QQ (020 7272 8153). 10.30pm-3am. £8.

Crack Magazine Takeover Residents and guests spin deep house, disco, electronica and techno. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). 9pm4am. £5, free before 10.30pm.

Crew Love By Wolf + Lamb House music courtesy of No Regular Play, Alex Bradley and Wolf + Lamb, plus a live performance from PillowTalk.

Loft Studios, Scrubs Ln, NW10 6QW (020 8969 0234). 10pm-6am. Adv £15.

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SATURDAY 20 A Big 1st Birthday Butch, Flashmob, Hector Couto, Chris Solo, Dan Mizuri and Al Mani provide house, techno and experimental. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. £12.50.

Craig Charles Funk And Soul Club The actor and DJ joins residents Mary-Go-Round, Sir Funk, Otis Waby and Jimmy James playing funk and soul classics, plus Dirty Luck performs live. Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes, Basement Of Tavistock Hotel, Tavistock Sq, WC1H 9EU (020 7183 1979). 8pm-3am. £8.

Kisstory Dance anthems, old skool and R‘n’B courtesy of Justin Wilkes and Neev, plus live performances from N-Trance and Wide Boys.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). 10pm-late. £18.

Mr Scruff The Manchesterbased DJ spins an eclectic mix of acid jazz, soul, hip-hop, funk, disco, deep house, reggae, dubstep, Afro beat, breaks and Latin. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 9.30pm-3am. £15.

Release Yourself Roger Sanchez, Prok And Fitch, Stafford Brothers, Stealth, Kid Massive, Robbie Taylor, Delice Dephunk, HollyBee And DJ Purr, Laura Essence, Sebastian Benson And Toby Allen, Closure and Alan Prosser And Dan Ferritt spin house, dance, club and electro. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £20.

Shogun Audio Warehouse Party DJs Chase And Status, Friction, Ed Rush And Optical, Alix Perez, Rockwell, SpectraSoul, The Prototypes, Mefjus, Hatcha, Marcus Nasty, Jumping Jack Frost and Bryan Gee spin jungle and drun ‘n’ bass, plus a live performance from Icicle. Great Suffolk St Warehouse, Great Suffolk St, SE1 0NS. 10pm-6am. £25, see www.londonwarehouse events.co.uk for details.

What Matters Pre Party Residents supply electronic dance music.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SUNDAY 21 DJ Discovered Showcase The Stafford Brothers spin house.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 3pm-late. Free.

Fuse Resident DJ Enzo Siragusa provides techno, house, electro and minimal. 93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006).

3pm-10.30pm. guestlist free.

Great Big Kiss DJ spins Northern soul and girl group classics. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191).

9pm-4am. Adv £6, mems £4.

Los Bubble Resident DJs and special guests play deep house music. Vibe Bar, Brick Ln, E1 6QL (020 7247 3479). 6pm-11.30pm. Free.

Pause Resident DJs provide house, disco, hip-hop, chart, funk and Latin. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-6am. £10.

Shiftless Shuffle DJs Gilles Peterson, Colin Parnell and Boo spin funk, Latin and fusion. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 2pm-8pm. £8.

Soulvolution Terry T-Rex, Jeffrey Hinton, DJ QBee, David Rosen and Johnny Rogue play soul.

Zen Sai, Inverness St, NW1 7HJ (020 7424 9527). 9pm-2am. Free.

Sunday Bass DJ Obri3n spins dubstep, pop and dance floor anthems. Mother Bar, Old St, EC1V 9LE (020 7739 5949). 10pm-late. Free.

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1520 FINAL Club Listings.indd 22

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AN EPIPHONE GUITAR & TICKETS TO LET IT BE T has teamed up with Let It Be and Epiphone to celebrate the opening of the Beatlestastic new show on the West End. Let It Bee is a spectacular theatrical concert jam-packed with over 20 of The Beatles’ greatest hits. Relive the Fab Four’s meteoric rise from their humble beginnings in Liverpool’s Cavern Club, through the heights of Beatlemania, to their later studio masterpieces with live performances of tracks including global mega-hits Yesterday, Hey Jude, and, of course, Let It Be. As well as two top price tickets to the show, one lucky

reader will also win an Inspired by John Lennon “1965” Casino guitar, courtesy of Epiphone (worth £750).

Tickets are valid Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 7.30pm, and Thursday at 3pm until December 13, 2012, excluding October 22 to November 4.

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MONDAY 15 The D.O.T Former The Streets frontman Mike Skinner and ex singer of The Music Rob Harvey play pop, dance and indie.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). Adv £15.

Hot Chip Pop and dance-flavoured electronic music by the Londonbased combo. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). Also Fri. £20.

BOOK NOW!

Lanterns On The Lake The Newcastle-based six-piece plays experimental folk. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £12.50.

The Gaslight Anthem, Blood Red Shoes, Dave Hause The New Jersey-based four-piece plays rock and punk-rock.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). Also Wed. £21.

The Midnight Beast, Unicorn Kid, Vid Warren The London-based three-piece, who also starred in a TV sitcom about fictionalised versions of members Stefan Abingdon, Dru Wakely and Ashley Horne, performs comedy pop. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £19.50.

Nada Surf Alternative rock and indie-rock by the New Yorkbased band to promote the album The Stars Are Indifferent To Astronomy. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). Adv £15.

Nine Black Alps The Manchesterbased four-piece plays alternative rock and post-grunge to promote its fourth album Sirens. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £10.

The Parlotones Melodic rock by the well-established outfit from Johannesburg, South Africa, in support of the album Journey Through The Shadows. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

Ed Sheeran Soulful acoustic pop from the Halifax-born singer-songwriter. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). Also Tue & Wed. £24.

Tamaryn, Man Without Country Alt rock and shoegaze by the duo of New Zealand-born Tamaryn, plus Rex John Shelverton, now based in San Francisco. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £10.

TUESDAY 16 Bwani Junction The Edinburghbased four-piece plays upbeat, Afro-Caribbean-influenced indiepop. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £6.

Future Of The Left, Fighting Fiction, Chris T-T & The Hoodrats Alternative rock from the Cardiffbased three-piece playing songs from their current album The Plot Against Common Sense. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). Adv £10.

Liars, The Haxan Cloak The Brooklyn-formed outfit plays a bled of experimental rock and post-punk. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). Adv £14.

Pains Of Being Pure At Heart Indie-pop by the New York-based band. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). Adv £13.

Professor Green Hip-hop, rap and grime artist Stephen Manderson from Hackney, who reached number one with the single Read All About It. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £25.

BEN GIBBARD Union Chapel. Mon, Dec 3. £21 The Death Cab For Cutie frontman has struck out on his own and plays this beautiful venue in support of his forthcoming debut solo LP, Former Lives.

N1 2XD

Highbury & Islington

Richie Sambora The veteran American guitarist, best known as a long time member of charttopping band Bon Jovi, plays hard rock and heavy metal to promote his third solo album Aftermath Of The Lowdown. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £42.50.

Shonen Knife The veteran Japanese three-piece plays pop-punk and alternative rock to promote its album Pop Tune.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15, adv £12.

Susanna Alt rock by the Norwegian singer-songwriter. LSO St Luke’s, Old St, EC1V 9NG (020 7638 8891/ cc 0845 120 7591). £10-£22.

Suzanne Vega Folk-pop by the New York-based singersongwriter. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891/ cc 020 7638 8891). Adv £29.50.

WEDNESDAY 17 Dirty Projectors The American band plays experimental indie-rock from the album Swing Lo Magellan. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £16.50.

Field Music, Golden Fable The Sunderland-based band, led by brothers David and Peter Brewis, plays psychedelic indierock and art rock to promote the album Plumb. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £12.50.

Kosheen The Bristol-based threepiece plays a mixture of trip hop, breakbeat and rock in support of its fourth album, Independence. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £15.

George Michael: Symphonica: The Orchestral Tour The charttopping pop singer and former Wham! frontman performs a selection of his hits as well as some of his favourite covers, with accompaniment from an orchestra.

Earls Court, Warwick Rd, SW5 9TA (020 7385 1200). £51-£91.

unionchapel.org.uk

The Old Dance School Cinematic alternative folk with World music rhythms by the seven-piece from Birmingham to promote its album Chasing The Light.

The Forge Venue And Caponata Restaurant, Delancey St, NW1 7NL (020 7383 7808). £10, concs £8.

Roddy Woomble, Rura The Irvine-born singer-songwriter and guitarist, best known as the frontman of indie-rockers Idlewild, performs contemporary folk in support of his album The Impossible Song & Other Songs. Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £13.50-£24.50, adv £9.50.

Dan Le Sac, Seward, Benin City Daniel Stephens, the Readingbased DJ and producer and one half of Dan Le Sec Vs Scroobius Pip, performs electro and hip-hop, promoting his album Space Between The Words.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £11.

Young Guns, We Are The In Crowd, Your Demise, Marmozets Heavy rock from the High Wycombe-based five-piece. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.50.

THURSDAY 18.

El Gran Combo De Puerto Rico The veteran outfit from San Juan, Puerto Rico, plays lively salsa music led by founding member and musician Rafael Ithier. Electric Brixton, Town Hall Parade, Brixton Hill, SW2 1RJ (020 7274 2290). £35.

Errors The four-piece from Glasgow plays gloomy and haunting electro indie-pop and new wave to promote its album Have Some Faith In Magic. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £10.50.

Funeral Suits The Dublin-based four-piece plays a blend of harmonious alt pop, art rock and electronica to promote the album Lily Of The Valley.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £7.

Scouting For Girls, Lilygreen & Maguire, Atticus Anthem The platinum-selling three-piece plays light hearted pop and indierock to promote its album The Light Between Us O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £22.50.

FRIDAY 19 Bastille Dark indie-pop and electronica by the Londonbased band, led by vocalist Dan Smith. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £11.

Hugh Cornwell The singersongwriter and ex Stranglers frontman plays punk and rock from the albums No More Heroes and Totem And Taboo. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

Die! Die! Die!, Seize The Chair, We//Are//Animal, Mad Colours The three-piece from New Zealand plays up tempo, guitar-driven punk-rock and noise pop. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 7704 0187). Adv £5.

Gallows, Feed The Rhino, Brotherhood Of The Lake Hardcore punk by the fivepiece from Watford, with former Alexisonfire singer Wade MacNeil.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). Adv £15.

Islands Indie-rock by the Montrealbased band. The Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £12.

Jefferson Starship Classic rock by the San Francisco-based band, descended from the original Jefferson Airplane.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). Also Sat. £27.50.

We Were Promised Jetpacks Indie-rock and alternative pop by the post-punk revival band from Edinburgh. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/cc 020 7428 5929). £10.

SATURDAY 20 Kelly Clarkson, Cover Drive The Grammy Award-winning Texan singer-songwriter performs pop.

Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £35.

The Cribs Indie-rock by the threepiece outfit who originate from Wakefield. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7428 4099). £25.

Graveyard Johnnys, Spook And The Ghouls, Go-Go Cult, Voodoo Ghost Town, Prison Blues The Monmouthshireformed three-piece plays chaotic and energetic rockabilly, punk rock and heavy post-grunge.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). Adv £7.

Labrinth, D’Banj Hip-hop and R‘n’B from London-based singer-songwriter Timothy McKenzie in support of the album Electronic Earth. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Steve Miller Band Classic rock and blues-rock outfit featuring the lead singer and guitarist.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £35-£47.50.

The Straps, Vicious Rumours, 16 Guns, The Pukes Classic punk by the London-based band. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £8.

Toyah, Zaine Griff, Alexa De Strange, Shh Pop-rock, punk and new wave from the veteran singer and actress performs her hits including Thunder In The Mountains and I Want To Be Free. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £18.

SUNDAY 21 Tony Carreira Europop by the Portuguese singer. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000/ cc 0844 477 2000). £23 & £38.

Dillon Experimental pop from the singer-songwriter. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8.50.

Living With Lions, Marathonmann Punk-rock from the four-piece band who originate from Vancouver, Canada. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £8.

Rastak The 16-piece performs Iranian folk and traditional music, exploring a range of sounds from the Caspian sea, the Persian Gulf, Khorasan, Kurdistan, Khuzestan and Azerbaijan. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891/ cc 020 7638 8891). £17-£100.

Robin & The New Revolution Nepalese singer-songwriter and guitarist Robin Tamang leads his outfit as it plays upbeat and catchy pop-rock.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £15.

The Shondes, Throwing Up, The Tuts Radical indie-punk by the group originating from Brooklyn, New York. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). Adv £5.

Trivium, As I Lay Dying, Caliban, Upon A Burning Body Thrash and metalcore from the Orlando-based four-piece in support of the album In Waves. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £19.50.

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AFL EUROPEAN CHALLENGE BASH Join players from Port Adelaide and Western Bulldogs at TNT’s AFL European Challenge After Party.

TNT TRAVEL SHOW AND HALLOWEEN AFTER PARTY Bag yourself a bargain holiday at the TNT Travel Show on October 27 and then head down to our Halloween After Party to celebrate.

TNT’s official post-match bash, celebrating the face-off between the teams at the Kia Oval on November 3, gives you the chance to meet with the players over a beer. There will also be a live band and special offers on drinks.

Even better, tickets are only a fiver!

The Alexandra, Clapham 14 Clapham Common South Side, SW4 7AA 7pm til late on Sat, November 3. Tickets £5 tntmagazine.com/aflexhibitionmatch

Photos: Getty, TNT

The TNT Travel Show, at the Business Design Centre in Islington, is your chance to bag bucket list trips with amazing discounts, as tour operators, specialist travel agencies, overland operators and accommodation and flight experts offer deals and one-on-one advice. The show will also see the return of the Lucky Dip, a series of seminars from travel experts and the winners of our travel photography and blogging competitions. After that, don your fancy dress and head to our Halloween extravaganza. More details on the bloodcurdling bash on P11.

Business Design Centre, Islington and Halloween After Party at The William Blake, Old Street Entry to the TNT Travel Show is free if you pre-register, £2 on the door, £10 for VIP access More on the show at tnttravelshow.com; more on the party at tntmagazine.com/halloween

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James Walsh The Starsailor frontman-turned-solo-star on writing for movies, penning a hit single, and why guitar bands are still cool INTERVIEW JADE BREMNER

Tell us about the new album, Lullaby?

People should expect a dark album lyrically but with some pretty melodies interwoven into some of the tracks. It’s different to what I’ve done before because it’s based entirely on the plot of Chuck Palahniuk’s novel of the same name. I did [2010 Brit music drama] Powder but that was more about writing songs for the fictional band rather than telling the narrative.

What’s Chuck like to work with?

I haven’t had any direct contact with him, although I’d love to meet him. The film company worked hard to secure the rights to his book and they have ongoing contact with him. It would be interesting to get his feedback. I hope he likes it, and his fans – he has a passionate fanbase!

What’s the album’s most poignant song?

For me, it’s a song called Start Again. The rest of the album is very dark and fits the story of some twisted characters, but this track has more of a restorative universal message of trying to right the wrongs. More people can relate their experiences to it, and it shows the characters to be human.

You collaborated with a friend on the recording of the album...

It was recorded with my good friend Sacha Skarbek, who’s known for his work with James Blunt and Adele, among others. The record was a challenging departure for both of us, though.

Have you been collaborating a lot?

I’ve been doing a lot with a producer friend called Eliot James, who worked previously with Two Door Cinema Club and Noah And The Whale.

I’ve also worked with Eliza Doolittle a lot and have a song called Lately I did with Matt Cardle on his new album. I’ve also got a few dance collaborations, too – I’ve been busy!

Does this mean an end for Starsailor?

I don’t think so, although I can’t see us coming back in the near future. We had an amazing time – almost 10 years together and four albums that we’re proud of. It’s important not to outstay your welcome as a band and it was important for the lads to explore life out of Starsailor, too. Stel [bass] is currently on tour with Spiritualized.

Walsh: mostly a happy man Is it lonely on stage as a solo act?

Sometimes if it’s a particularly difficult crowd and there’s no one to share those nerves with.

I have played a lot with Jim Duguid, Donnie Little and Mick McDaid who play a lot with Paolo Nutini, too. They are good fun to make music with. Jim’s a songwriter, so we share stories about our recent writing sessions.

Is having a hit record to do with being in the right place at the right time?

Absolutely. I think it happened at the right time.

I’m proud of the music from my era and how great melodies were at the heart of it. Coldplay, Travis, Keane and ourselves contributed some great sing-a-long anthems that will last when more fashionable music fades.

Would the 15-year-old James Walsh be proud of the James Walsh now?

I hope so! Although I thought I was much too cool for school back then. Now I’m much more relaxed and open to different ideas as long as I can keep doing what I love – writing songs.

Your tracks come across pretty solemn.

Are you a happy bloke?

I’m a very happy bloke most of the time but any songwriter will tell you sad songs are easier to write than the happy ones. Four To The Floor is pretty happy and it’s our biggest hit worldwide.

What’s the secret to good bands getting noticed these days?

Great guitar music is still doing well, look at The Vaccines, although the wider population seems to be lapping up more dance and hip-hop stuff.

Some incendiary live performances can catapult a band to success, though: Pulp stepping in for The Stone Roses at Glastonbury 1995 was a big one – we need another moment like that.

What’s the most memorable experience you’ve had on the road or travelling?

The most eye-opening experience was a visit to some orphanages in India with a charity project that helps street kids get out of child slavery. We got to hear amazing stories about how they’re now in college or running a successful business.

Playing a few songs at a winery in Adelaide, New York’s Irving Plaza and doing The Letterman Show when Love Is Here was breaking – there have been some great times. A lot of my best travel memories are from Belgium and Australia.

Belgium really embraced the band and we played some great festivals and some beautiful old cities, and Australia is such a friendly place – there’s a real ‘have a go’ attitude to things there that us reserved Brits lack at times.

Lullaby is out now through Smith And Songs Records jameswalshmusic.com

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Black and white, gothic and brilliant – must be Burton

FRANKENWEENIE FILM review by Alasdair Morton STARRING: Charlie Tahan, Martin Short | PG | 87mins

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 FILM STARRING: Katie Featherstone, Kathryn Newton | 15 | 87mins

This is the 2009 no-budget smash’s third sequel, and the series has managed to maintain the scares in its POV haunted house tales so far, as a poltergeist terrorises people who come to believe all too late in things going bump in the night. A far better Halloween franchise than the blood-letting Saw series.

On general release from October 19

28

Tim Burton has been doing the same thing for a while now: plying his Burtonian trade in a procession of gothicly stylised kids’ films (Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Alice In Wonderland). So the thought of him doing the same with a horror homage, buried in a draw from years back, could make you think it’s all a case of been here, seen that. But he injects enough lively smarts and funnies to keep the stop-motion animated Frankenweenie feeling fresh.

As the title would suggest, this is a Frankenstein-riffing horror, in which lonely schoolboy Victor brings his beloved pet Sparky back to life after he’s run over, only for his lightning-infused science experiments to attract all kinds of unwanted attention from his school’s oddballs and eccentrics.

Burton mines his love of monster movies for a pastiche that will probably go over the heads of non genre fans and kids, too – Godzilla, Gremlins, The Mummy and Frankenstein are all drawn upon at one stage. It’s the invention with which it is carried off that works, though, as visual gags (an invisible goldfish) mix with winning one liners (“Sometimes adults don’t know what they’re talking about!”

Victor’s dad says) in this ‘also available in 3D’ flick.

Burton assembles a voice cast of familiar faces (Winona Ryder, Martin Landau, Catherine O’Hara, Christopher Lee) but manages to make what could have been a by-the-book indulgence trip down memory lane (the black and white palette even works here, underscoring Burton’s kookiness) both contemporary and enjoyable.

GOOD FOR: A passion project that works as Burton does ‘Burton’ the best he has in years.

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GIVE US A

NICK HELM: THIS MEANS WAR

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

St Albans’ loudest comedian – an unproven accolade we have bestowed upon Helm that few could argue – brings his third solo show, already a hit at Edinburgh, to London. Expect a dissection of his love life, gender politics and a confrontational delivery that makes you feel like you’re being attacked: viciously, verbally and hilariously.

Ha ha!

Bloomsbury Theatre 15 Gordon Street, WC1H 0AH. Oct 19. £13.50 Euston Square thebloomsbury.com

SHOOT! EXISTENTIAL PHOTOGRAPHY

CHARLEY’S AUNT

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Post World War I, the photographic shooting gallery came to prominence, in which the reward for hitting the target was a pic of the shooter mid-trigger. This attraction, and the crossover between guns and photos, is the focus of this new exhibition, featuring thoughts and photos from Sylvia Ballhouse and Steven Pippin.

Brandon Thomas’ neatly crafted 1893 farce stars Matthew Horne (TV’s Gavin And Stacey) as an Oxford student aiming to deceive in the name of love. Ian Talbot’s sprightly production, boasting designer Paul Farnsworth’s gorgeous sets, never hits the high spots of hilarity but confirms the durability of this late-Victorian romp.

Photographer’s Gallery 16-18 Ramillies Street, W1F 7LW. Until Jan 6. £5 Oxford Circus photonet.org.uk

Menier Chocolate Factory 53 Southwark St, SE1 1RU. Until Nov 10. £31 London Bridge menierchocolatefactory.com

LEWIS SCHAFFER What’s the show this evening about?

I don’t have a clue what the show is about, and I’m in it, and doing it.

But so is the audience.

Photos: Catherine Ashmore

It’s been described as like being in The Office rather than watching it...

Some have said that about the show, although it certainly wasn’t my intention.

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD

A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL

FILM

THEATRE

This debut feature from Benh Zeitlin won the Camera D’Or Award at this year’s Cannes, the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance, and has generally been wowing, dazzling and stunning audiences all year round. Its blend of fantasy, realism, emotional truth and whimsy is unlike anything else this year and marks the arrival of a new talent. Believe the hype and see for yourself.

Making his West End debut, a bearded Rob Brydon is the beating heart of Trevor Nunn’s mildly enjoyable, light-hearted revival of Alan Ayckbourn’s 1984 comedy about an am-dram production of The Beggar’s Opera. There are moments of pathos and humour but it’s at its funniest when Brydon’s on stage.

On general release from October 19

Harold Pinter Theatre Panton Street, SW1Y 4DN. Until Jan 5. £10+ Piccadilly Circus achorusofdisapproval.com

It’s also been called ‘riotous’ – is that a tough tag to live up to?

Others have written the show is “appalling”, some have said that it “violates all the comedy rules”, that it is guilty of “mangling jokes”, and many have also said it is “an experience”. And that’s just from the people who recommend the show!

It’s also been described as highly unpredictable...

Yes, and yet, somehow, it is the longest running solo comedy show in all of London. And fun. I forgot to say that – it’s fun!

Lewis Schaffer is Free Until Famous The Source Below, W1F 9TY. Every Tues & Weds. 8pm. Free Piccadilly Circus sourcebelow.com

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Leader of the sack Comedian Richard Herring is all about the appendage for his latest stand-up show Talking Cock, playing in London this week WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

Brit comedian Richard Herring’s new show, Talking Cock 2: The Second Coming, caused quite a stir when it hit the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this summer. Not just because of its eye-catching focus on the male appendage and our attitudes towards it, not just because it was unanimously described as ace by all who saw it (though all of this is true by the way), but because the brains behind the Fringe programme deemed it an offensive title and promptly attacked it with an asterisk to defend our outrage.

“It was a worrying development for an arts festival to start censoring what it thinks is ‘too rude’,” Herring tells us ahead of taking this re-tooled version of his 2002 show of the same name across the country on tour. “I did [the show] there 10 years ago and there was no problem at all. And it has a double meaning, of course, it comes from talking cock and bull – which means to talk rubbish – but by censoring it they were making it mean only the rude thing. You can say much more offensive things in a sentence without having a swear word. It is ideas that are offensive, not words.”

The puerile and the pensive, the childish and the mature – Herring’s combination of the two tells us much about a comedian who is all about finding the funny in the serious, who is as adept with a knob gag as he is with taking on fascism or, as in the case of his latest stage performance, performing a dissection of masculinity and what men and women really think of each other, but wrapping it all up in a masquerade of dick jokes.

“When I first came up with the show it was a response to The Vagina Monologues [the hit stage show which has played around the world since 1996],” Herring recalls. “When that came out it felt like it was in isolation, ‘All men are bastards’, that kind of thing. I wanted to do a show about how human beings share their lives and not to make it about competition.

“Men can be arseholes, but they can have just as much pressure and expectations put upon them because of their sex, too. We all try to conform to what is expected when in fact there are bits of male and female in all of us. Genitals are supposed to be shared in whatever combination you want to share them, they are not an exclusive thing!”

Having scored great solo success over the past five or six years, Herring has taken this opportunity to revisit a show that means a lot to him, but also to bring it to a new audience that may have only discovered him recently.

Those who aren’t familiar with him as half of a 1990s comedy creative force with Stewart Lee, whose Fist Of Fun and This Morning With Richard Not Judy TV series were landmarks in the alt-comedy scene, may have seen his Christ On A Bike or What Is Love, Anyway? shows, or read his weekly column in Metro on their morning commute.

“

Where have you put your penis for fun?

”

A decade is a long time, but returning to the material after this period highlighted for Herring the many ways things have not changed at all.

“When people hear about the show they think that they know what it is going to be about – men saying they’re better than women, getting angry and being all macho ››

Pedal pilgrimage: Herring in Christ On A Bike TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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(Clockwise from left) A fruity pose for Sex Week in 2004; with Father Ted star Ardal O’Hanlon; on stage in London this month

and stuff,” he says. “Men talk about their penises much too much, but it is always in a joking way and, in doing this show, I realised how insecure men actually were about this subject, which they talk about seriously so little.”

Opting to tackle a sensitive subject head on, Herring carried out an anonymous online survey asking both men and women about their relationships, sex and their opinions and admissions about the ‘spam javelin’ in particular. What emerged, both then and now, is how the notion of a gender war is highly misinformed. “What came out is how much women like men,” he reveals – and also how male machismo leads men not to talk about problems and concerns that will affect many of them at some point in their lives.

“I also found out that men are disgusting,” he admits, again illustrating how some things have not, and most likely never will, change. “I asked: ‘Where have you put your penis for fun?’ and the answer was pretty much everywhere and anywhere you could possibly imagine. A toilet roll full of jelly, a hollowed-out cucumber, the gap between the mattress and the metal frame of the bed, even. There is an inventiveness and ingenuity to it where men are trying to make, essentially, an artificial vagina. It has been revelatory about guys and their frustration!”

While the title of the show caused a storm in a tea cup in the Scottish capital, Herring is no stranger to causing controversy of one form or another. Christ On A Bike, depressingly yet predictably, was picketed at several shows

on its spring 2011 UK tour, Christians reacting to its perceived blaspheming, despite the protesters having likely not seen it.

“It was a bit sad more than anything else, people getting upset about a show they have only imagined in their head,” he recalls matter-of-factly of the placard-wavers. “I like to tackle big subjects and some people think you shouldn’t be joking about these things. But there is humour in all subjects and a way of approaching topics to make you think about issues. Some Christians thought a show [of that title] by an atheist was anti-Jesus or anti-Christian, when it was not – it was my own personal journey having been brought up Christian and then turning away from it.”

Moreover, as much as his Christ show was driven by a selfconfessed obsession with Jesus, it was as much by his passion for questioning authority and challenging rules.

“I like to question and point out hypocrisy, my own especially,” he says. “Because if something is true then it will stand up to questioning. If people say you mustn’t question something, then you are getting into dictatorial areas where people start doing crazy things like flying planes into buildings and drinking poison.”

His quest to understand, pick apart and challenge, as well as spread hilarity, has led him thus far to take on: Christianity, love (told from the point of view of a long-time singleton who had recently tied the knot), as well as fascism (Hitler Moustache, in which he attempted to re-appropriate the pencil ’tache ruined for evermore by the angsty Austrian).

And now, of course, masculinity and men’s genitals.

“People think that if you are doing comedy about something then you are making light of it, ” he says. “But that is not necessarily the case.”

This is how he manages to combine serious topics with wilful gutter filth, and it is how he can take an audiencewowing show that on the surface appears to be about mouthy misogyny and knob gags but manages to send you home sore from laughing, and also thinking about your relationship with both your little fella and your significant other. He’ll also teach you a few new euphemisms, too. ❚

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Photos: Getty

Richard Herring, Talking Cock 2: The Second Coming. Oct 17-20. £15 Purcell Room, The Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX southbankcentre.co.uk Waterloo

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TNT LUCKY DIP

TRAVEL SEMINARS

Win a year’s worth of travel

By travel industry gurus

This year’s Lucky Dip will be huge. You could walk away with the ultimate California trip with Topdeck or do Turkey with Travel Talk

Get the heads up on the next destination you want to explore, gain some great tips and quiz our expert travel presenters

Saturday 27 October 2012 Business Design Centre - Islington - N1 0QH 9.30am - 5.30pm

Free entry if you pre-register at tnttravelshow.com* *£2 on the door TNT_1520_edit.indd 34

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SPOOKY AFTER PARTY

VIP ENTRANCE

Best dressed competition

Get the special treatment

Don’t miss out on the scary Travel Show Halloween After Party at the William Blake, Old Street. Tickets are £10. 7.30pm till late

Grab yourself a VIP ticket to the Travel Show and get a sneaky queue jump, VIP goody bag and a Halloween After Party ticket all for just £10

DON’T MISS OUT! #TNTtravelshow

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SPARETIME

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WRC: FIA World Rally Championship 3

CD

PC

Graeme Park, Mike Pickering and Peter Hook mix these three discs celebrating 30 years of the Manc club. £11.99 play.com

The official WRC game with race teams, 35-plus cars, and every track from the real world championships. £24.99 play.com

Swedish House Mafia: Until Now

Doom 3: BFG Edition PS3

This collection has the series’ second sequel, its add -on pack, and hours of new content. £24.99 amazon.co.uk

CD

The pop-house legends release this compilation record to coincide with their One Last Tour farewell shows. £8.99 play.com

Roller Nick Harris: Shit My Kids Say

iPhone / iPad app

A real-money app with 19 games to gamble on.

Free itunes.co.uk

Book

Kids’ comments reveal the naive but honest view of the world of our younger siblings. £6.99 amazon.co.uk

Magic Shutter iPhone app

You can vary the shutter speed and other tech-secrets to get super arty holiday pics. £1.99 itunes.co.uk

Cheryl Cole: My Story Book

The ‘truth’ on the Geordie popstar’s lav attendantbashing, Ashley’s infidelities and her brush with malaria. £11.89 amazon.co.uk

RED5 Remote Control Pillow Gadget

An actual TV remote you’ll never lose – it’s so comfy. £19.95 red5.co.uk

How I Met Your Mother: S7 DVD

The hit NY-set 20-something sitcom’s seventh season. £13.99 amazon.co.uk

Insulting Hole Punch Gadget

It punches ‘IDIOT’ into unwitting colleagues’ pages. £3.99 play.com

Dark Shadows DVD

Tim Burton’s gothic and quirk-filled family drama squirms onto DVD. £11.19 play.com

App of the Week Commuter iPhone app

Tired of getting stuck as cancellations derail your morning trip to work? Then get on board with this new delay-dodging app.

Free itunes.apple.com

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Seqtea green jacket Go for the autumn disco look – OK, we just made that up, but it somehow works.

Il2l faux fur bodywarmer You don’t have to flop a mink over your back to look fury good, buy this top instead. il2l.com

Toom jacket Keep warm with indie cool in this painfully stylish padded parker.

missguided.co.uk

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SHOPWATCH BUYMYWARDROBE

Photo: Getty

This place offers you the chance to rummage through other people’s wardrobes without an invite. The idea is that high-profile and fashionable women sell their stuff to BuyMyWardrobe and this entrepreneurial little boutique will sell it to us for a fraction of the original price. Everyone’s a winner! Depending on how you like to shop, you can go to their store in Mayfair or peruse their online shop for gems. Genius.

The ranges are quite extensive and the styles are hugely diverse.

On a simple fumble through the racks we found a pretty indie designer label dress for an autumn wedding. Get everything from Karen Millen to a pair of Christian Louboutin’s or an original Stella McCartney skirt.

Prices range from £19.99. The best part is, you never know what you’ll find each day. Be warned: it’s ridiculously addictive.

OPEN Mon-Tues 9am-6pm; Weds-Thur 9am-8pm; Fri 9am-6pm; Sat 11am-6pm buymywardrobe.com 17 Seymour Place, W1H 5BF Marble Arch

Billabong bobble hat Have a designer snowball fight in this beaut.

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Embellished headpiece Stay on trend and cosy with this retro head warmer.

£27

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Purple crop Pop this under your running gear to regulate your body temp in the colder months.

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Leaf necklace Some leafy bling will garnish any look this season. whatsabouttown.com

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Devon boots Give your outfit an edge with these cowgirl-inspired boots.

Tortoise shell frames Finish off any outfit with a pair of fashionable frames. specsavers.com

callitspring.com

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LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

GRIT TRAINING Got a busy schedule? Is it so busy you find you have no time to exercise, or find that what you are doing in an attempt to get fit is just not working? We recommend you take a look at the Les Mills Grit Series. These high-intensity sessions are short (30 minutes) but work you hard.

At these classes, you should leave your self-consciousness at the door, as the sessions take place in a room with a dozen or more people all sweating and pushing through their pain barriers in short bursts to explosive music. Expect the occasional scream of pain ... or relief. Strength work and plyometrics combine in this highintensity interval training, which the experts say accelerates your body’s fat-burning powers. Instructors reckon you’ll shed pounds if you do their sessions on a regular basis. The first class is free (download a pass from the Fitness First website), then it’s £15 per session for non-members. Classes will run until December – perfect for slimming down before a Christmas binge, we think. What are you waiting for? Get cracking ... then more importantly get cracking on those mince pies.

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Street fighters Learn to floor your opponent in a single strike, feel safe and get super fit with Krav Maga WORDS JADE BREMNER

As martial arts go, Krav Maga is scary stuff. It’s one of the most lethal combat disciplines on the planet, devised in Israel to be used in close quarters and focuses on attack being the best form of defence (or ‘strike first’). It’s because of this intensity that Krav Maga is such a brilliant workout.

A London-based session with Krav Maga System will not only involve attacking points such as the jaw, ribs, groin and knees – with reasonable force to avoid anyone getting too hurt, of course – but also training with sticks, knives and replica guns.

This technique is used by the Israeli Armed Forces, with versions of it adapted for police and civilians across the globe so they can protect themselves in dangerous scenarios. In class, students learn the psychology of street fighting, how to be aware of their surrounds and identify the weak points in opponents.

Adrian Siman, from Romania, has been doing martial arts most of his life, but got hooked on Krav Maga after his first class eight years ago. “It is simply the best martial art out there,” he says. “I’ve trained ever since and have reached Expert Level 1. I’m one of the few in the UK at this level.”

Krav Maga, which means contact combat in Hebrew, hasn’t yet been modified for competitive sport (it would be far too dangerous in its purest form), but you can be rewarded through a system of exams and belts like that of judo or karate.

Siman says while Krav Maga may look complicated, it’s easy to learn.

“They’re really straightforward techniques,” he says, adding that Krav Maga is unlike many martial arts because it’s based on real-life situations, you fight multiple opponents and use a range of weapons.

Plus, it’s for all levels of fitness.

“We teach everyone from young male students to women in their sixties,” he says.

“And you will make contact with your opponent in the first class unlike other martial arts where you never touch an opponent.

“The more you do it the more you will be getting fitter and learning valuable lifesaving techniques. Plus, it’s a massive adrenaline rush.”

Classes at 7.30pm on Mon and Tues. £10 for a trial, £48 per month (one class a week). Women-only classes also available. Soho Gyms, 11-15 Wootton kravmaga-system.co.uk Street, SE1 8TG

Classes take place at Fitness First gyms all over London fitnessfirst.co.uk

Oh nuts: attacking key points 38

Gripped: grappling in class

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WHAT’S NEW

Take that: Israeli officers in Krav Maga training

Dust Matt Hair Powder Shake this on to get wicked volume £12.95 structurehair.co.uk

MORE ARMY-STYLE CLASSES British Military Fitness WHAT: They reckon all you need is a good pair of running shoes to get super militarystyle fit. Though demanding, these classes are fun, challenging and offer various boot camp-style exercises that will leave you with a huge sense of achievement.

WHERE & WHEN: All over London in outdoor locations at various times. First session free. £37 per month for one class a week or unlimited classes for £50 per month.

SEE: britmilfit.com

Photos: Getty, Krav Maga System, Elemis, Fitness First

Go Commando WHAT: They are all about routine, routine, routine here – a simple principle that will get you results, without getting you injured. In these classes you’ll be running through mud, lifting kettle bells, rope carrying and doing press-ups, among other gruelling tasks.

WHERE & WHEN: All over south London at various times. You can pay as you go for £13 per single session or sign up for £47 a month (which includes one session per week).

SEE: gocommandopersonaltraining.co.uk

Ben Sherman Gold Irresistibly rich and woody scent for men £25 thefragranceshop.co.uk

Army Boot Camp Fitness WHAT: Get to a location, throw your stuff in their van and they’ll give you a vest that says how fit you are. Newbies will always get a red bib, no matter what their level, but with regular sessions of off-road running and a range of exercises you’re sure to be wearing the yellow of mid-range fitness and green of ‘max power’ in no time.

WHERE & WHEN: Various locations and times. First NEXT WEEK lesson is free, then it’s £30 a month for one Where to meet session per week. other expats SEE: More information on sessions and times at armybootcampfitness.co.uk

Pearl Drops Beauty Sleep Pop this on for a whiter smile £3.49 boots.com

TOP TREATMENT: POWER BOOSTER FACIAL This is no run-of-the-mill facial. At Elemis, they don’t just whack a load of solution on your face and scrub, they give a 15-20 minute consultation with a skin care specialist, then a UV exposure test to check out your pores, evenness, spots and wrinkles. From this prep they can determine which of their ‘Power Booster’ facials is best suited to your delicate skin. We left peaceful Elemis feeling rejuvenated and relaxed, with our skin refreshingly hydrated. £45 224-248 Oxford Street, W1C 1JG

elemis.com

Oxford Circus

Douvall’s Organic Oil Cleanser Save your skin from nasties £28.00 beautique.com

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LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Lesley-Ann (far left) with her BA crew

Become a high-flyer Want London to be your base but still see the world? Try training up as a flight attendant and you’ll get paid to travel WORDS JADE BREMNER Fancy yourself as an international jet-setter but don’t have the cash to fly around the world? There could be another way. You could get paid to travel as a flight attendant.

Historically, working on planes has always been an ultra-glamorous career, with beautiful air hostesses and dashing pilots caring for their courteous, affluent guests. These days, however, budget airlines, overloaded airports and reports of rude customers have warped this perception. Is being a flight attendant still worth it? We quiz three Londonbased flight attendants to find out...

Lesley-Ann Au-Yeung, 30 Au-Yeung has been serving passengers on board aircrafts for 10 years. She has always had a desire to travel, which is what first attracted her to this career.

“I wanted to see the world with new groups of people and expand my horizons,” she says.

The British Airways steward explains that it’s a great career for people who 40

don’t like run-of-the-mill nine-to-five jobs. And while UK flight attendants can earn a salary of up to £27k per year (payscale.com), it’s not easy work.

“It can be tiring,” Au-Yeung says.

Cabin crew work unsociable hours and she admits it’s common for those in the business to miss birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and Christmas. However, for Au-Yeung the pros outweigh the cons, and she absolutely loves her job.

Working with a good team makes all the difference to her, and when she arrives in another city there’s often the opportunity to socialise with the crew.

“Depending on the length of the trip the team might try to meet up for dinner or a drink, or perhaps a bit of sightseeing,” she says.

“No two flights are ever the same.

I meet new people and see new places every time.”

Samantha Massingham, 36 After five years on the job, Massingham has no regrets. At the age of 30 she

swapped her desk job at a bank for one in the air. “It’s not just a job,” she says. “If you enjoy working with people in a team and a customer-orientated environment then I would highly recommend it to others.”

Massingham has travelled to dozens of countries, including Canada, the Caribbean and India.

She now combines her travelling with helping local communities in the countries she lands in. “For example, when I visit Havana, Cuba, I take items to the local children’s orphanage,” she says proudly.

Airlines often have incentives and programmes that staff can get involved in. Massingham works for Virgin Atlantic, an airline that is particularly focused on charitable projects.

“I am part of Virgin Adventurers,” she explains. “Staff take part in adventures to raise money for Free the Children. I’ve already climbed Mount Fuji in Japan and next I will be cycling the Rift Valley in Kenya.”

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB MICHELLE MIRA PAREKH CAREER Marketing Consultant AGE 31 LIVES London FROM London How did you get into your line of work?

During university and different job experiences I developed a love for the versatility of marketing. I couldn’t exactly define the job role and all of my days were exciting and different.

However, what I didn’t enjoy was promoting a bad product. I decided to choose and go in-house.

Service with a smile: Laura in Las Vegas and Samantha (left)

Photos: Getty, Virgin, British Airways

GET INTO THE AIR

as catamaran trips in the Caribbean, cycling across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, climbing Sydney Harbour Bridge or just • To be cabin crew for an airline a shopping trip to a there are height restrictions – you nearby mall,” she says. have to be above 5ft 2in and below The working 6ft 2in. Most airlines require four schedules vary from GCSEs, including English and maths. airline to airline, but Laura Hutcheson, 33 • If you speak another language in the worst cases as well as English, you’ll increase crew can spend up to Despite studying law your chances of being selected for 50 hours a month in and training as a the crew. airports waiting for barrister, Hutcheson flights (unpaid), and found she didn’t have another 65 hours on shift. However, the funds to travel, let alone travel the Hutcheson says her company, Virgin way she liked to.

Atlantic, only expects five or six flights “I was never the backpacking type per month from its crew, and also gives and the thought of throwing a bikini them plenty of time to recover at each and a pair of flip-flops into a rucksack destination. and heading to a hostel filled me with “It varies between a one- and fourdread,” she says. night stopover. Or seven nights away, With her student loans looming, she if you are doing really decided that being cabin crew would long routes,” she allow her to “see the world in style, explains. For this stay in nice hotels and get paid for it.” flight attendant After 12 years, Hutcheson is still NEXT WEEK being part of flying around the world enjoying the On the road: Virgin Atlantic perks of the job.

What’s it like working for crew isn’t just “We get a minimum of 24 hours in a tour company? a job, it’s “a a destination and up to three or four lifestyle choice”. clear days. We organise activities such When Massingham’s not helping others, she’s making the most of her job. “I’ve skydived in Las Vegas and been cage diving with great white sharks in Cape Town,” she says excitedly. And there’s more to come.

• To become a flight attendant contact individual airlines’ human resources departments about their training programmes and benefits.

What do you do day-to-day?

No two days are the same! Today I have a potential meeting with Amy Childs, I have to work on some art work for one of the new Med Contour clinics, get one of our medical representatives organised for an exhibition and also begin a research article about combating cellulite and banishing those love handles for a local newspaper.

The best part of your job?

Everything!

What’s the most challenging?

Spending too much time online.

DECIDE ON A CAREER CHANGE HOW TO...

Ask yourself a few questions before taking that leap…

• Why do you want to change?

Write down your reasons. Are you bored, undervalued, not making progress, don’t get on with your manager?

• Is it really a career change you need? Perhaps you can find another position in a less drastic way. Could you find a job in the same sector or adapt your current role slightly?

• Thirdly, ask yourself where your skills lie, and be realistic.

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tntjobs.co.uk THAMES COURT T: 01932 221957

JOB OF THE WEEK: Chef de Partie Location: Thames Court, Shepperton, Middlesex Salary: £6.50 - 8.00 per hour depending on experience

Thames Court is a popular pub/restaurant situated on the River Thames .

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Both on the main line and starter section. Live in available.

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JOB OF THE WEEK: Live In Care Worker Location: Surrey, Home Counties and London Salary: up to £600 per 7 day week

T: 01483 481000 www.restassured-wecare.com Rest Assured We Care Ltd is a specialist live-in care agency in Surrey looking to recruit care workers now.

THE GCD BOUTIQUE CATERING (LONDON) LTD Leading retail boutique caterer who believes in making a difference! we are committed to best practice in all areas of corporate, social and environmental responsibility.

HOME HOUSE T: 020 7670 2000 www.homehouse.co.uk Home House, is one of London’s most prestigious and stylish Private Member’s Club in the heart of central London.

Judi Molinaro | 01932 221957

Live in work available for female care workers who can drive. Long and short term work now available, £100 bonus over xmas cover and double pay on bank holidays.

Call us now for more details on 01483 481000

JOB OF THE WEEK: Barista / General Assistant Location: EC1, The City Salary: up to £7.50 p/h DOE Our exciting, modern City site requires a team member who is fun, hardworking and who has a passion for great food and drinks. You will be required to work with the team as a Barista/ General Assistant during our busy breakfast and lunch periods. You will have excellent spoken English skills, be adaptable and be flexible in your approach to work.

CV to scott@thegcd.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Room Attendant / Maid Location: Westminster, London Salary: £12,750.00 per annum We are currently recruiting for a dynamic and enthusiastic individual to join us as a Room Attendant / Maid responsible for the cleaning of the bedrooms and public areas to a high standard. Previous experience in a 4/5 star hotel preferred for this physically demand role working 5 days on / 2 days off.

Kasia | homehouse.co.uk/about-us/work-with-us | kasia@homehouse.co.uk

EVOLVE HOSPITALITY T: 020 7397 1265 www.evolvehospitality.co.uk Evolve Hospitality specialises in supplying staffing solutions to the Hospitality and Catering industry. We believe in evolving the standards of service, be it in a Michelin-starred

CHANGE HOSPITALITY T: 020 317 63748 www.thechangegroup.com We Supply Freelance and Permanent Chefs to Top London Restaurants: Michelin / Rosette, Events Caterers & Band / Tour Catering.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Silver Service Staff, Waiters and Waitresses, Chef de Parties and Pastry Chefs Location: Central London Salary: £6.50 - £14 an hour depending on role Evolve Hospitality is looking to recruit with immediate start.

Please send your CV to symmone@evolvehospitality.co.uk and specify in the subject line what job you are applying for.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Freelance Chef De Partie or Sous Chef Location: London Salary: £9.00-£15.00 per Hour / £450-£750 We are looking for chefs of all levels to work at a well known restaurant in central London. To work a rota working 50-60 Hours a week, 5 days a week, from October till December. You must have Rosette / Michelin /1-2 Hat Chef Experience.

Oliver Townsend | 02031763748 | oliver.townsend@thechangegroup.com

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NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

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Career opportunities TNT is the market-leading magazine, new media and events brand serving UK-based Australian, New Zealand, South African and other international and young communities.

Drive, ambition, professionalism and a desire

TNT publishes a weekly magazine that’s been around for almost 30 years, and has a circulation of 50,000. It has vibrant interactive websites and puts on an impressive range of events from community parties and award celebrations to major exhibitions.

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We have a number of job opportunities for people with attitudes and ambitions that match our own to join the team and help TNT into 2013 and its next phase of growth.

to succeed and earn rewards are prerequisites for these roles. Applicants will need to have the following:

» Sales and customer service skills » Articulate and able to make a high volume of outbound sales calls

» The drive to meet and exceed individual targets » Have proven organisational and computer skills » A genuine commitment to delivering outstanding customer service

» Experience in travel, recruitment or media

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February 27-March 4 2012 Issue 1487 tntmagazine.com

» Knowledge of digital sales » Previous experience of working within a media or digital environment

» Proven history in new business development » A natural talent to see beyond the ordinary » Understanding of where online marketing fits in the

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digital environment

» » » »

Excellent presentation and communication skills Proven history in new business development Ability to build a rapport quickly with clients A genuine commitment to delivering outstanding customer service

» Excellent account management skills » Ability to identify new revenue streams » Passion for independent travel

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DIRECTORY

12/10/12 17:10:46

tntjobs.co.uk THE DORCHESTER T: 020 7319 7101 www.thedorchester.com/careers

JOB OF THE WEEK: Events Lead Waiter - Casual Location: Park Lane, London W1K 1QA Salary: Competitive

The Dorchester - top 5 Star hotel in London combines 1930s glamour with contemporary edge overlooking Hyde Park in prestigious Mayfair London, near Piccadilly.

Join our elite banqueting team to provide exceptional and efficient food and beverage service to our guests. For this wonderful opportunity you must be able to work in the UK for 3 months or more.

ADMIRAL GROUP

JOB OF THE WEEK: Temporary Catering Work Available!

Location: Central of London Salary: From £6.19 up to £13ph

T: 020 7877 8500 www.admiralgroup.com

www.thedorchester.com/careers | For further info phone 0207 319 7101

The Admiral Group is a specialist Catering and Hospitality Agency. Work as much as you want, when you want. Excellent rates of pay, paid weekly plus additional holiday pay.

We have a variety of roles; whether you’re a Chef, Barista, KP, VIP Host or Waiter… we have fantastic opportunities for you.

Must have experience and right to work in the UK.

TEACHING PERSONNEL

JOB OF THE WEEK: Primary School Teacher Location: South West London Salary: Great rate of pay

T: 020 3056 7510 www.teachingpersonnel.com Teaching Personnel provides teachers and classroom support staff to thousands of schools across England and Wales.

frontofhouse@admiralgroup.com or backofhouse@admiralgroup.com

A lovely school in West London is looking for a KS1 teacher from 5th November 2012. Applications are welcome from NQT’s, FQT’s and Overseas Teachers. Please contact us for details on this and many other opportunities across London.

020 3056 7510 | www.teachingpersonnel.com

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CASH-SAVING TIPS

LIFESTYLEMONEY

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

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Eat at home and don’t go to too expensive places.

Get your drinks during happy hour.

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CHEAP BOOZE XXXXXXXXX Chip in with your Xxxxxxxxxxx housemates and buy a half-price case of wine from Tesco. This offer is available on rosé, white and red and includes top brands. There are six bottles in each case (working out as little as £4.99 per bottle for some pretty decent plonk).

We reckon it beats a bag of goon any day. See tesco.com/wine 2-FOR-1 PIZZA Make Tuesday the day for pizza. Domino’s is offering a BOGOF offer on all medium or large varieties from the standard menu or the ‘create your own’ section. Just make sure you mention the offer on the phone when you place your order to get the discount on your bill.

On Tuesdays the cheapest pizza will be offered free.

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JULIA SVEDJEMO, 21 JOB Shop assistant FROM Sweden LIVES London How do you budget?

I’m not very good at that, but I usually put money

aside for the rent every week and then I see what happens with the rest. It normally goes on clothes and nights out.

Do you have any tips for saving money in London?

What was your last big blow-out?

When my mum was here a few weeks ago we did lots of touristy stuff and ate out all the time. The sightseeing itself was cheap, visiting markets and such, but the food got expensive.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

I pay for Spotify Premium every month and I buy accessories for my camera – my hobby is photography.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Spending a pretty penny One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles reportedly spent £100k on Banksy and Bambi art, featuring Kate Moss and Rihanna. He’s not the only one with expensive taste...

❚ Actor Steve Martin owns Picasso, Willem de Kooning and heaps more big-name works. He once dropped £560k on a Campendonk, but lost £160k when he sold it – police found out it was forged. What a rip-off! ❚ Hugh Grant “was drunk” Turns out ‘that one thing’ was art for 1D’s Styles

when he bought a painting of Liz Taylor by Andy Warhol – it later netted him an £11m profit. Result.

❚ Madonna collects original paintings by Frida Kahlo, the monobrowed Mexican surrealist painter and revolutionary. Madge is rumoured to have bought her work Roots for £5m. ❚ Jen Aniston’s arty, too. At age 11, she had a painting of hers hung up in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and she’s posed with her £750k Robert Motherwell.

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LIFESTYLELIVING

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HOME

STYLE 00

£6.

Ticket coasters Immortalise an incredible gig with these solid beer mats ticketcoaster.com

Hip and trendy haven Shoreditch, EC2

.00

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WORDS PETTER LARSSON

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Say Shoreditch and a collage of clichés instantly decorates your mind: red skinny jeans; jauntily angled fedoras; anything with the word ‘pop-up’ in front of it.

For some, this will be an irresistible invitation to merrily hop aboard the trendy bandwagon. For others, it’s more irritating than a Pom’s misguided attempt at an Aussie accent. But love it or hate it, there’s no doubt Shoreditch is one of the most colourful hoods in the capital. Living in this locale is anything but boring.

Why Shoreditch?

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Shoreditch is where ‘creatives’ gather to launch their ventures on the cheap. That’s why you’ll find London’s edgiest galleries, indie shops, bars and restaurants within the ‘Shoreditch Triangle’ (where Shoreditch High Street, Great Eastern Street and Old Street intersect). This was once an undesirable area of the city, which is why rents have been affordable for more artsy businesses.

Phil Dowling, an estate agent at Future Pad in Shoreditch, says: “It’s changed a lot from how it was 10 years ago. And a lot more changes are coming up, like Boxpark [a pop-up mall on Bethnal Green Road] and new developments and properties becoming available.”

Don’t move here if…

Love cake oven gloves Humorous gloves to make baking a breeze notmassproduced.com 46

Can’t deal with hipsters and the constant consumption of Red Stripe? Then avoid this place at all costs. You can’t beat ‘em, so you’re going to have to join ‘em.

Broadway Market: hipster central on a Saturday The people Once home to ‘proper’ EastEnders and students, Shoreditch is now the domain of young professionals in lucrative creative industries – think tech start-ups (hence Old Street roundabout’s nickname ‘Silicon Roundabout’) and media schmoozers.

Shoreditch estate agent Steve Lebow, from Peach Properties, tells us: “It’s a good mixture. We’ve got a lot of professionals living east, council tenants are still living in the flats around here, and then there are the trendy people.”

Where to hang out There’s no end of queues to join to get into the latest see-and-be-seen venues. You can

‘Silicon Roundabout’

seldom go wrong with the old favourites, however – brunch at The Breakfast Club in Hoxton (thebreakfastclubcafes.com); table football and cheap bottles of Sagres at Bar Kick (cafekick.co.uk); and the cavernous basement of Dream Bags Jaguar Shoes

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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MY AREA PETER FLEMING

UNIVERSITY LECTURER 35 “Shoreditch is full of life. It’s very diverse, there’s always something going on and it’s the kind of place in which people really like to enjoy themselves and have fun.”

RUARI MACLEOD MUSICIAN 28

(jaguarshoes.com) – which doubles up as an art space – on a Saturday night. The area around Shoreditch also has a range of top-class weekend markets. Artisan grub at Broadway Market (broadwaymarket.co.uk) spells trouble for both wallet and waistline, while bargains are best at Brick Lane Market on a Sunday (visitbricklane.org), where it’s all about second-hand bric-a-brac.

The connections Old Street and Liverpool Street are no more than a 10-minute walk from anywhere in Shoreditch, so you can get to the likes of

King’s Cross, Oxford Circus and Stratford in less than 10 minutes. National Rail services run from these, too, including trains direct to Stansted Airport. You can get on the Overground at Shoreditch High Street.

“The best thing for me is Brick Lane. Just the mixture of shops and different kinds of people. The weekends are always really busy, but it’s still cool.”

MARYLOU DENIS SHOP MANAGER 21

What you can rent Mostly flats, often ex-council estates and converted warehouses, but lately there are more new builds cropping up.

NEXT WEEK We find a slice of Oz in London

“I really like Broadway Market, it’s like a little village. There are lots of cafes, restaurants and boutiques, and it’s between London Fields and the canal, so it’s really nice.”

EC2 INFO BOROUGH

Hackney COUNCIL TAX

£1305.17 Band D TRAVEL TIME TO CENTRAL LONDON

Photos: Getty, TNT

10 minutes ONE-BED FLAT £295pw

ONE-BED FLAT £350pw

ONE-BED FLAT £525pw

This ground-floor flat in a Victorian school conversion is close to Aldgate East and Liverpool Street stations. The place was refurbished and repainted last year.

Fancy a penthouse in London’s hippest area? This warehouse conversion boasts large windows, stripped wooden floorboards and a private roof terrace.

On the ground floor of factory conversion The Chocolate Studios, this loft-style apartment near Old Street gets lots of light thanks to large warehouse-style windows.

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TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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WORLDVIEW

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Male or female? The ‘butch bellbird’

FIRST TRANSGENDER BIRD SPOTTED IN NZ NEW ZEALAND A wildlife sanctuary has nicknamed one of its feathered friends the ‘butch bellbird’ after they discovered it had both male and female characteristics.

Eco-sanctuary Zealandia in Wellington has revealed a young bellbird in their care could be the nation’s first transgender bird.

The now 18-month-old honey-eater, known in Maori as a Korimako, moves like a male when feeding but its calls are mixed – as is its DNA. “It could be due to a hormonal imbalance or it could be a reaction to shock or an incomplete moult – given the appearance and behaviour, any of those would be unusual though,” bird expert Ben Bell of Victoria University told stuff.co.nz.

Sparrow-sized New Zealand bellbirds are dark olive-green with red eyes – males have a blue tint around their face and the female has a white stripe.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @frankieboyle In order to save time police are now advising that only women who were not abused by Jimmy Savile should phone in @piersmorgan RIP Lance Armstrong’s reputation – the biggest cheat in sporting history #LiveWrong

BOY’S LUCKY ESCAPE AFTER CROC ATTACK AUSTRALIA An extremely lucky teenager has survived a saltwater crocodile attack, escaping with minimal injuries.

The boy, 14, was waist-deep in a river in the East Kimberley region of Western Australia when the snapper struck, biting his leg. The victim was rushed to hospital 48

Driven to distraction: solarpowered LED billboards, by artists Jasper Knight and Isabelle Toland, have been moved from roadsides to Hyde Park, Sydney. Art & About will now cheer up pedestrians rather than distract motorists

for treatment and reported the incident to the Department of Environment and Conservation.

District wildlife officer Len Terry says it is rare to get bitten by a saltwater croc, but the animals are common in that area. “In the two years I’ve been in the job here, this is the first one that I’ve actually had a report of a person being bitten,” Terry said. “We do occasionally get anecdotal ones but the ones I know of have mainly been freshwater crocodiles biting people.”

OLDIES MORE LIKELY TO STREAK IN HOTELS AUSTRALIA A quarter of Aussie hotel guests run naked through the corridors, according to a new survey.

The ZUJI.com.au study also revealed it’s the oldies that staff need to watch out for, with the 45-55year-olds more likely to streak in the buff.

Up to 70 per cent of hotel guests spend at least 10 minutes trying to figure out how to turn on a shower in a hotel room, the survey of more than 1000 people also found. And 40 per cent of guests have smuggled in extra friends into a room booked for one person. Who hasn’t?

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 2

Age of Sonny Ress who was given a whisky and water instead of juice at Frankie & Benny’s in Wales. Start them young

Age, in years, women start to worry about sagging breasts, receding gums and getting old, according to depressing research

My precious: what the coins will look like

9.4

NZ RELEASES REAL MIDDLE EARTH MONEY

29

Cost, in quadrillions, of mobile bill sent to Solenne San Joe, from France, by her phone provider, in error, obviously

NEW ZEALAND Commemorative coins from The Hobbit are to be released ahead of next month’s movie.

Featuring characters such as Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf, the gold money will be legal tender, although their face value will be less than what they will cost.

The most expensive is made from 28.3g of gold and will set collectors back about £1900. But its face value is just £10. The cheapest is a 50p coin retailing at £15.

The coins go on sale from November 1 and will no doubt generate much interest among geeks, erm, Tolkien fans in the build up to the premiere of the first of the three Peter Jackson-directed Hobbit movies.

PANTS PINCHER STRIKES AGAIN

Photos: Getty

AUSTRALIA Queenstown Police are on the hunt for a knicker thief who has struck twice in the last six months.

The perpetrator has targeted the same Arrowtown address twice – the first time grabbing clothing and underwear from a washing line in the back garden in April.

Last weekend, he was at it again, this time entering the house to steal knickers.

“There are elements to these crimes which are very disturbing not only to the victim but also for the wider Arrowtown community,” Detective Sergeant Brian

FINAL 1520 WORLD NEWS.indd 49

Number of penguins that died at London Zoo after contracting malaria.

The zoo said it was a “very sad occasion”

Knicker nicker: keep an eye on your undies Cameron said. The police are asking for anyone with information to come forward so they can apprehend the underwear thief before they strike again.

ELDERLY COUPLE BUY BUSH, GROW WEED UNITED KINGDOM When an elderly couple bought an innocuous green plant at a car boot sale, they had no idea what they were getting into.

Unbeknown to the married man and woman, the bush was a cannabis plant and it grew to a monstrous size in their back yard. Police in Bedford posted a picture of the luxuriant bush, growing as tall as the fence in the garden.

In a message posted to Twitter, the force said the plant had been “seized today”. The message added: “Elderly couple bought shrub at car boot sale, tended carefully – biggest cannabis plant we had seen!!”

6

QUOTE OF THE WEEK I certainly couldn’t play him as Australian because people would think, ‘That’s Crocodile Dundee!’

Aussie actor Chris Hemsworth on why his superhero character Thor has a British accent

12/10/12 13:55:19

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: HELEN ELFER helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

Looks pretty good from here! Tourists made the best of a wet summer

Olympic visitors find better things to do than sightsee

Photo: Getty

Skipping the Houses of Parliament isn’t such a bad idea, is it?

There were 60 per cent fewer visitors at major London attractions this summer, with heavyweights such as St Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower of London and the Houses of Parliament down by about a fifth. Since all these top tourist spots are now out of pocket, naturally, the fingers have started to be pointed. Who’s to blame? David Cameron, of course, who has been accused of squandering the “golden opportunity to develop tourism”.

I love a bit of Cameron-bashing as much as the next recession-weary Brit. But I have to ask: what on earth was he supposed to do here? It was the rainiest summer in 100 years. Should he have gone banging on hotel room doors offering free brollies? Insisted that tourists stiffened their upper lip and marched out into the drizzle?

Of all the fun London activities you could do on a wet summer afternoon, traipsing around damp halls and peering into glass cabinets would be pretty low on my list. So would squinting through the gloom at important old buildings that guidebooks assure me are spectacular in bright sunshine. Clearly, the bulk of Britain’s tourists over the Olympic period agreed.

I’m actually pleased that our guests spent their time having a blast in old London pubs, watching the sport on the telly with the rest of us, or whatever it was they ended up doing. I’m sure they admired St Paul’s Cathedral as they walked across the Millennium Bridge, and photographed the Houses of Parliament from a scenic spot on the other side of the Thames. Good on ‘em. If I was a tourist, that’s exactly what I‘d have chosen to do, too. Many of these places are way more impressive from the outside anyway.

At the end of the day, the tourists came, they helped make the summer of 2012 one of the most thrilling in living memory and, overall, they spent almost 10 per cent more money than last year’s visitors. Shouldn’t we all give ourselves a pat on the back and leave it there? » Agree or disagree? Why are visitor numbers down? letters@tntmagazine.com

AUSSIES: TOTALLY LOADED It might not seem that way, but all you Australians reading this are filthy rich.

That’s right, you heard. And not just any old kind of silver-spoon-sucking, champagne-swilling, caviar-guzzling loaded, but hands down the wealthiest people in the world.

According to a report from Credit Suisse, Australia’s average wealth is £121,015 per adult. That eye-watering amount is over double what the Swiss can claim, at a £54,303 average per person, and as everyone knows, they’re a nation full of prudent investment bankers.

So how is this possible? No thieving has

“

Aussies are simply filthy, stinking rich

”

taken place, apparently. It’s all down to a combo of low credit card and student loan debt, high levels of natural resources and high real estate prices.

Which begs the question, why don’t you all dig deep into your pockets and head to our top tourist attractions (see left)?

No matter what the reason, the next round is on you guys ...

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Bali: ten years on Tributes paid to victims and survivors of Indonesia’s worst terrorist attacks WORDS CAROL DRIVER When the suicide bomber detonated his backpack-mounted device inside Paddy’s Bar 10 years ago, the force of the explosion threw Gary Nash across the pub. He was drinking and catching up with friends in Kuta, an area of Bali popular with Aussies and holidaymakers. Suddenly there was a blinding, sizzling orange flash of light, and an ear drumbursting bang that was so loud, it was heard miles away.

A woman was thrown in the blast and landed on top of Nash, her body shielding him from the severity of the explosion and protecting him from certain death.

As he stumbled out of the blast zone, Nash looked down to see his skin “hanging off” and a hole in his leg. His body was covered in burns and his stomach and legs were mangled by shrapnel. He said he sat on a chair “just watching the mayhem” before two Australian men helped him into an ambulance. He recounts the story as though it happened yesterday. But October 12 marked 10 years since the Bali bombings devastated Kuta.

Three separate explosives went off – including a large car bomb and a third smaller device detonated outside the US consulate in Denpasar – killing 202 people: 88 Australians, 26 Brits and three New Zealanders.

“I saw people on fire and people trying to put out fires with bottles of water,” said Nash, who suffered burns to 53 per cent of his body in Indonesia’s worst terrorist attacks. He was flown to Darwin and placed in an induced coma, before being transported to Brisbane where he remained in a coma for three weeks – he stayed in hospital for three months.

“I was on the edge of passing away, but managed to pull through,” he added.

A decade after the terrorist attack, Nash, who is the vicechairman of the Bali Peace Park Association, returned to Bali to pay tribute to those who did not survive and to visit people he has not seen since the first anniversary.

Mourners gathered under Australian flags as they listened 52

solemnly to a mournful roll call of the dead, some crying or leaning on loved ones’ shoulders as they observed a minute’s silence.

Speaking at the event, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard recognised the terrible legacy of the attacks, saying “wounds and scars abound, healed and unhealed, but nothing can replace the empty seat at your table”.

But she also praised the resilience of her country, saying Indonesia and Australia, sometimes edgy neighbours, “drew closer” than ever before.

Indonesia, which has the world’s biggest Muslim population, won praise for its law-enforcement actions after

“

I saw people on fire after bomb exploded

”

the bombings, and was also lauded for its response after subsequent attacks in 2005, in which 20 people were killed.

Families of the Australian victims, many of whom were young holidaymakers and members of touring sports teams, made the journey, seeking closure to a painful decade.

“I lost my two daughters in the Bali bombing,” said Danny Hanley, father of victims Renae and Simone, who died from her injuries several weeks later in a Perth hospital to become the 88th Australian killed in the attacks.

“As we go forward into this new decade year, let us go out with the patient power of knowledge that our God will go with us,” he added.

For forensic pathologist Dr Putu Alit, who works at Denpasar’s Sanglah hospital, the trauma of that night is still vivid in his mind. He and his colleagues worked around the

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Photos: Getty

Memorial: (clockwise) family members embrace at the tribute in Bali; Julia Gillard with Indonesian Foreign Minister Marty Natalegawa; victims’ relatives lay flowers

clock for weeks after the blasts, with some bodies so badly disfigured that identification took up to three months.

“Not all we can identify,” he revealed. “About six victims and 38 body parts (unidentified after three months) because they are in bad condition.”

The explosions were so massive, some victims were said to have virtually vaporised, leaving no remains. Even 10 years later, two are still unnamed. “Many had severe burns and victims came in many body parts,” he added.

Speaking the day before the 10-year memorial, Australia’s Opposition Leader Tony Abbot called the atrocities “an attack on civilisation”. As the bombers targeted areas frequented by Aussies, he also said they were “an attack on Australia”. The strike by the al-Qaeda-linked group Jemaah Islamiyah, which also left scores of people with horrific burn wounds, came one year after the 9/11 attacks in the US. Since the attacks, those responsible for the atrocity – the planners, recruiters, bomb makers, bombers, chemicals experts, financiers, drivers and protectors, have either been executed, killed by police in raids or jailed.

Three were tried, convicted and executed, shot by firing squad. Four were killed in shoot-outs with police after years on the run. Some are still behind bars. Two died in the bomb blasts themselves.

Abbott said it was to Australia’s credit that it didn’t lash out in fury at another country or religion, and instead worked with Indonesia to bring the perpetrators to justice.

“We will always be grateful to Indonesia and its people for doing so,” he said.

“Our country was at its best in the aftermath of Bali.”

As thousands of people gathered around the world to honour the victims, Abbott added that the memorials, where those affected could stand shoulder-to-shoulder, were vital and necessary, “to say to our country’s enemies you can hurt us but you can’t break us”.

Bomb-maker Umar Patek

LAST PIECE OF PUZZLE BOMB MASTERMIND JAILED Bringing those responsible for the Bali bombings to justice has been a long road. The last major piece of the puzzle wasn’t complete until last year, when bomb-maker Umar Patek was captured in Pakistan. He is serving 20 years in jail after nine years on the run.

Nicknamed the “demolition man”, Patek, 46, was found guilty of premeditated murder for his part in helping build the car bomb that devastated the clubs.

It brought a 10-year investigation to an end.

Patek was captured in Abbottabad, where Osama bin Laden was killed by US Navy Seals four months later.

Patek argued he had played a small part in the attacks, which, he said, were in revenge for Western policies that had harmed Muslims. He apologised to the families of the 202 victims, and, upon hearing the verdict, shook the hands of judges and prosecutors, before hugging his lawyer and walking out of court.

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SPORTNEWS

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Speedster: Sally Pearson

PEARSON IN THE RUNNING AGAIN ATHLETICS Olympic 100m hurdles champion Sally Pearson is in contention to claim a second straight IAAF female world athlete of the year award.

Pearson, 26, was the only Aussie among the 10 men and 10 women named by the IAAF for the award announced next month – the Queenslander was the first Australian winner of the prestigious gong last year after she took her first world title in 12.28 seconds, the fastest time in almost 20 years.

The favourite for the 2012 prize is Jamaican Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, who defended her 100m crown in London.

New Zealander Valerie Adams, who won Olympic shot put gold at London 2012, is also a finalist.

Jamaican superstar Usain Bolt and Kenyan 800m runner David Rudisha are favourites for the men’s award.

BIG BAD BRAD BACK IN THE BIG LEAGUES RUGBY Evergreen dual international Brad Thorn may write a final chapter in his remarkable career with a return to Super Rugby with New Zealand franchise the Highlanders.

The former All Blacks lock, who played for Brisbane, Queensland and Australia in rugby league, has been playing rugby union in Japan and Ireland since helping New Zealand win last year’s World Cup. But the Otago Daily Times reported Thorn, who will turn 38 in February, has met with Highlanders coach Jamie Joseph and is believed to have agreed to play for the franchise next year.

Thorn was born in Mosgiel, just outside Dunedin where the team is based.

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New Zealand rider Levi Sherwood sails over Sydney Harbour Bridge, sticks up his finger and says: “Hey Aussies, it’s not that big.” That’s not entirely true, he was actually flying high for the tour finale of Red Bull X-Fighters Moto Cross at Cockatoo Island

CORRUPTION DOESN’T SURPRISE HAIR AT ALL

BIG WEEK FOR ...

CRICKET

Australian jockey Craig Williams missed the chance to ride Dunaden to Melbourne Cup victory last year due to suspension, but he’s back on the back of the seven-year-old stallion for this Saturday’s Caulfield Cup. Williams loves the French horse so much that he’s passed up the opportunity to ride other contenders this season to ride Dunaden at Hong Kong and Royal Ascot.

The jockey’s been in a bullish mood, saying he can “definitely” win the Cup and that the horse is bigger and stronger now.

Retired Australian cricket umpire Darrell Hair isn’t surprised that current umpires have been accused of taking bribes.

The International Cricket Council has launched an “urgent investigation” into claims by an Indian TV station, after a sting in August and September, that six umpires from Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Bangladesh were willing to fix matches for cash.

“I was wondering how long it would take before some umpire did some stupid things,” Hair said. “There have been rumours going around for ages, since the IPL (Indian Premier League) started, that umpires were involved. It all comes down to two things: opportunity and greed.”

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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BEER OF WORLD CHAMPIONS.

OFFICIAL ALL BLACKS

SUPPORTERS GEAR DS21162

Register and join the Steinlager mailing list at www.steinlager.com to go in the draw to WIN an Official All Blacks Puffer Vest or Polo Shirt.

You must be a resident of mainland United Kingdom (England, Scotland and Wales) who is 18 years or older to enter. The promotion commences on 24/09/12 and ends 28/10/12. To enter, simply register at www.steinlager.com/Register (selecting “UK” at the age verification gate) and join the Promoter’s mailing list. Prizes consist of 2 x All Blacks/Adidas branded puffer vests and 5 x All Blacks/Adidas branded polo shirts. Seven winners will be drawn on 30/10/12 and notified by telephone by 02/11/12. See www.steinlager.com for full terms and conditions.

The promoter is Lion - Beer, Spirits & Wine (NZ) Limited, 111 Carlton Gore Road, Newmarket, Auckland 1023, New Zealand.

Autumn season registrations at One Netball UK are

‘Now Open’ If you are looking for a fun alternate to the gym and keeping fit, a way to meet new people and reason for a week night social we have just the thing for you!

With something for everyone from Beginners to Pro Netballers, with venues across London get in touch now to get a space in one of our leagues.

All venues start the week of the 22nd October. Get in touch now if you are a single player, small group or team looking for a venue.

Pimlico, Camden, Waterloo, Wimbledon Indoor and Pimlico Indoor!

Give us a call at the office on 0207 828 1034 or contact Sophie@onenetball.com.

Proudly sponsored by

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AFTER PARTY

Meet the players ÂŁ5

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Players like Quade get sorted. Sooner or later they get their beans All Blacks captain Richie McCaw on karma and his Wallaby rival Quade Cooper

It’s in great shape, with superb assets and a great future ahead of her

Slippery: Sonny Bill slides out of a Wallaby’s tackle

David Haigh, at the helm of a takeover bid at Elland Road, reckons Leeds is like a young Pamela Anderson

PREVIEW All Blacks continue quest for perfection BLEDISLOE CUP III SATURDAY, 10.55AM, SKY SPORTS 1 Should they win this game (and let’s face it, that’s pretty likely) the All Blacks will equal the record for most Test wins in a row by a top-tier nation.

New Zealand won’t be complacent about securing their 17th consecutive win (the record is jointly held by the 1964-69 NZers and 1997-98 South Africans), but they’ve been light years ahead of their rivals this year.

And they’re showing no signs of

backing off. The All Blacks claim there’s still room for improvement, so the injuryplagued Wallabies will be up against it, despite Brisbane historically being a fortress for the team in gold. Such is the ferocity of NZ’s attack from turnovers, Australia declined to play the Test under new trial rules designed to speed the game up more.

The Bledisloe Cup’s already tucked away in Wellington for another season, so this match is a dead rubber. However, with the record (and hooker Kevin Mealamu’s 100th Test) to play for, there’s no chance of NZ taking the foot off the throttle.

THE CHAT | Being mean to R-Fed… What the?

My bad, just found out Jenson [Button] never followed me Lewis Hamilton backtracks after falsely accusing teammate Jenson Button of unfollowing him on Twitter

I practised for an hour and a half out there.

Maybe that’s where I went wrong Rory McIlroy, who arrived 10 minutes before a Ryder Cup triumph, got flogged at the World Golf Final by Matt Kuchar

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

GOLF Impossible-not-to-like Roger Federer’s had his Q life threatened? Who would do such a thing?

A Chinese blogger called ‘Blue Cat Polytheistic Religion A Founder 07’, that’s who. Before last week’s Shanghai Masters, Blue Cat posted this threat: “On October 6, I plan to assassinate Federer for the purpose of tennis extermination.”

He also posted a doctored image of a decapitated Federer on his knees on a tennis court, with an axe-wielding executioner next to him. Tournament organisers took the threats seriously and provided security. After winning his opening match, Federer said the threat concerned him a little, but “once the match started, I never thought about it again”. Blue Cat has boasted escaping punishment but has apparently apologised. Weirdo.

Perth IGC Day one action from the West Coast Thurs, 6am, Sky Sports 1

FOOTBALL Spurs v Chelsea London derby action Sat, 12.45pm, Sky Sports 2

FOOTBALL QPR v Everton Mr Cool: Roger Federer

She Bu’s finest in action Sun, 4pm, Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Comeback trials Just because a sportsperson was once great, doesn’t mean they won’t throw it all away WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

As you read this, British boxer Ricky Hatton will be sweating bucketloads. This profuse perspiration will be the result of frantically pounding a bag, hundreds of sit-ups and sparring a range of fighters who resemble Vyacheslav Senchenko, his opponent for his November 24 comeback fight in front of 20,000 fans at Manchester’s MEN Arena.

Hatton, 34, retired after a brutal second round knock-out against Manny Pacquiao changed his nickname from the Hitman to the Sitman in 2009 and has been fighting his own demons rather than in the ring ever since. He’s told of having suicidal thoughts and been open about his battle with drugs after he was busted hoovering up rock-star lines of Colombia’s finest by a News Of The World sting. To his credit, Hatton’s cleaned himself up and is ready to rumble.

However, an absence of three years and such a rough trot means the risk that going around again could tarnish, rather than polish, his reputation is real – as these other stars who tried to rise from the ashes found out the hard way.

Ian Thorpe: The Thorpedo fizzles Much to sports fans’ bemusement, the man once known as The Thorpedo decided he’d quite fancy competing at the London 2012 Olympics, despite retiring in 2006.

So, last year, he headed to a secret base in Switzerland to lose the 20kg that he’d gained and work towards his goal of swimming faster than he had at his peak.

There was no overconfidence on Thorpe’s part, however: “The most realistic outcome of this is that I will most likely fail,” he predicted. He was spot on, finishing well outside the pace in both the Australian 100m and 200m trials and leaving many wondering why he bothered announcing his plans in the first place. It’s not unlikely Thorpe’s ability to foresee the outcome of his races led to his well-paying job as a pundit alongside Gary Lineker on BBC’s Olympics coverage a couple of months ago. Tragically, he hasn't given up yet.

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Martin Crowe: First class at 50 During the Eighties and early Ninties, the man known as Hogan was New Zealand’s finest batsman, a swashbuckling number three with an arsenal of innovative shots and a big-match temperament. He retired in 1995, 392 runs shy of 20,000 first-class runs – nothing to be ashamed of, by any stretch. However, last year, Crowe, aged 49, decided he’d try to return to first-class cricket – 14 years since he’d played a serious match – and get those runs.

He suffered the indignity of playing for Cornwall reserves in Auckland in the hope of getting picked for the club’s premier division side. After some decent performances, and with his name no doubt helping, he got the call-up. But it was over as quick as it started. After pushing the ball to covers off his third ball he tore a thigh muscle while taking a casual single. He then conceded the comeback was kaput.

Bjorn Borg: The Ice Man melts The former world number one and pin-up of tennis had an extremely bad year in 1990. He’d lost a house, a marriage, knocked-up a 17-year-old he met at a wet T-shirt competition and some of his investments went belly-up.

Bjorn then decided that after 11 years away from tennis, he’d hit the courts again – with a wooden racquet, no less.

In the age of graphite, wielding wood was akin to bringing a knife to a gunfight and, for the unfit Swede, everything went disastrously.

When he walked away from the game at age 26, only John McEnroe had his number. But on his return in 1991, at Monte Carlo, the man so cool he was nicknamed the ‘Ice Man’, was humiliated by Jordi Arrese, a journeyman Spaniard, in straight sets. In another eight tournament attempts in 1992 and three the following year, Borg was ousted in the first round. And then he did the decent thing, put his wooden racquet in the fire (probably) and retired.

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Thorpey’s return has failed

Sacked: Michael Schumacher will have to enjoy his millions without driving around racetracks every week now

Holyfield lines up Mike Tyson’s face

Mike Tyson: Baddest man in the ring Tyson’s career stalled following a 1992 rape conviction, but after serving three years in jail, he was back in the ring, raring to go. However, Iron Mike was a bit rusty and he received widespread criticism for fighting boxers who seemed to go down just a little too easily.

Then, in 1996, Tyson fought former world champ Evander Holyfield, a real boxer, and lost. A rematch the next year was stopped in the third round when Tyson bit a chunk out of Holyfield’s ear, spat it to the canvas and was disqualified. A series of bouts in which opponents’ arms were almost broken and refs were knocked over followed, before he got knocked out by Lennox Lewis. Tyson retired again in 2003 and came back a second time in 2004 for a beating from Brit Danny Williams. The career of baddest man on the planet had come to a sad end. Still, he sure was funny in The Hangover.

Michael Schumacher: German precision faulters

Photos: Getty

Seven-time champ Schumacher had 32 million reasons to return to F1 in 2009 and risk tarnishing his incredible record. He took the money and over three years of average performances failed to add any polish whatsoever to his legacy – one podium finish in 52 starts was a horrible return for a man who’d amassed 154 top-three finished from 248 races up to his 2006 retirement.

The German has also been involved in some embarrassing incidents in which he rammed drivers from behind, moves attributed to bad timing and poor judgement. Then, this month, Mercedes said they wouldn’t re-sign him for 2013.

It was the final blow in a horrible comeback for the motor racing great, cut off at the knees before he had the chance to bow out with dignity for the second time.

Ricky Hatton fights Vyacheslav Senchenko on Saturday, November 24 at MEN Arena, Manchester. Check guides for broadcast details

MJ could probably still dominate now

TRIUMPHANT RETURNS ONCE A CHAMPION, ALWAYS Not every sports star fails on the second time around: MICHAEL JORDAN His royal airness returned after retirement (and a spell in baseball) to lead the Chicago Bulls to a second NBA three-peat in 1996-98. His two word press release, “I’m back”, was pure class.

KIM CLIJSTERS Belgian Kim was a comeback (after) kid in 2009. Having had a baby, she whipped both Williams sisters to win the US Open in her third tournament back, then retained it, and also won the Australian Open.

GEOFF BOYCOTT Now a pundit, the Pommy batsman spent three years in self-imposed exile from the England team before hitting 107 and 80 not out in his first two Test innings back against Australia in 1974.

LANCE ARMSTRONG He beat testicular cancer that spread to his lungs and brain, vanquishing a 40 per cent chance of survival. Then won sports greatest endurance race seven times. Tainted by drugs now, but still amazing.

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

Full-stretch: the only diving acceptable in football

Diving, simulating or going down – you’re still a cheat Football’s latest crisis is actually on the field, but hardly new

» Agree or disagree? Is diving a blight on football? letters@tntmagazine.com 60

Maybe the public doesn’t give a toss if their superstars cheat on drugs or wives – it must be true if major sponsors are willing to back them at their lowest.

After the US Anti-Doping Agency published 1000 pages of evidence against Lance Armstrong, explaining why they’ve banned him from cycling and stripped him of his seven Tour de France victories, Nike released a statement saying they’ll continue to support him and his cancer charity.

The ADA says that Armstrong led a “massive and pervasive” doping programme at his cycling team from 1998 to 2004. That’s pretty bad if it’s true. If it’s not, it’s a bad look

“

The public must be willing to forgive stars

”

for a massive sports brand. Apparently not.

They also supported Tiger Woods after his name became mud for a while there.

So on the assumption that Nike has stupid amounts of money and makes few decisions lightly, or without researching how it will reflect on them, we must just not care or at least be more than willing to forgive.

Photo: Getty

Professional football watchers are digging their toe into the turf and throwing their arms in the air without being touched over Luis Suarez’s latest flops – it’s a blight that we do our best to ignore so we can watch the game without hating it.

With no premier league and England playing the world’s worst side, pundits needed something to talk about last week, so they chose diving, a justified debate as it’s probably football’s biggest on-field issue. As FIFA VP Jim Boyce said, it’s “a cancer on the game”.

Liverpool’s Suarez has copped most of the stick, but he’s by no means alone – except for when he falls over in a penalty area after someone looks at his sock the wrong way, causing him to roll around like he’s been shot in the achilles. Then he’s totally alone.

Football is god in most of the world, except Australia and the US. And if you talk to any Aussie or Yank who’s anti-football (or soccer), the first jibe they’ll make is that footballers dive, often followed with a chorus of “they’re all a bunch of wimps”. Usually worse than that. It’s indefensible for the football fan, because players do dive. And, worse, when they do, they roll around as though they’re passing a gall stone through their knee-cap. Then the dance of the law book takes place – since play’s been stopped for their performance, the ref must ask them to go to the side of the field, at which point the club’s wizard gives him a drink of water and he’s all better. Then he re-enters the field.

Michael Owen pointed out that there’s a difference between diving cold and going down when you’ve been touched. “It is a skill and it has been done for years and years,” he says. He’s right, it is a skill for a striker to beat their defender for position, legally get between the ball and the opponent, drawing them into a false move and forcing a free kick. But to go down when you could have kept playing, that’s still cheating.

Simulation is supposed to be a yellow card, but it’s tough for refs to tell for sure whether a player’s caught a big of leg, the ball or air. It’s time for retrospective suspensions.

MAJOR SCANDAL? GO ON, JUST DO IT

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Advertorial

AFL returns to London Western Bulldogs take on Port Adelaide at the Kia Oval in November as AFL continues to take Europe by storm AFL footy will return to London on Saturday, November 3.

The Elastoplast AFL European Challenge between the Western Bulldogs and Port Adelaide is the first match to be played in the UK since 2006, when more than 15,000 people packed The Oval to celebrate the spectacular game.

A flying start Both clubs are looking to kick-start their 2013 campaigns and a win will set the tone for their season ahead. Earlier this month, Port appointed Ken Hinkley as its new senior coach.

Hinkley, who played 132 matches for Fitzroy and Geelong and was an assistant coach at St Kilda, Geelong and Gold Coast, is widely admired in the industry and he is expected to make an immediate impact at the club. The London match will be his debut at the helm of an AFL team.

The Bulldogs started the 2012 season with a new coach, Brendan McCartney, who set out to rebuild the club and develop its stable of young players. The likes of Mitchell Wallis, Luke Dahlhaus and Tom Liberatore showed plenty of promise and will play key roles in the next few years.

Photo: Getty

Global appeal The sport created 154 years ago to keep cricketers fit in the winter months – hence the shape of the field – is now Australia’s number one sport and is spreading globally.

The decision to bring the game back to London is a reflection of the growth of the game in the UK and Europe under the direction of AFL Europe. The Elastoplast AFL European Challenge will be preceded by a match between the JLT Group All-Stars and Continent that will feature the best Australian Rules players from throughout Europe.

More than 100,000 people play the game outside Australia and pathways for aspiring young players to further their careers are being forged. The AFL’s international development manager Tony Woods has attended testing

sessions in China, the United States, Ireland and the Pacific over the past 12 months. “We know the athletic talent is there and we now need to demonstrate to athletes from other countries that there is a genuine pathway to ultimately play at the highest level in Australia,” Woods says.

Woods points to Canadian rugby player Mike Pyke, who joined the Sydney Swans fours year ago and was one of his team’s best players in their Grand Final win over Hawthorn in September. “Mike was outstanding and what he has achieved is extraordinary. We hope his story, along with the likes of Irishman Tadhg Kennelly (who also played for the Swans), will inspire young men throughout the world,” Woods says.

Get involved The UK has a thriving AFL community with five leagues, 40 clubs (six in London) and more than 2000 players. Venues such as Hyde Park, Clapham Common and Motspur Park have the distinctive AFL goalposts up on weekends from April to August and, while Australian expats feature in every team, many locals have fallen in love with the game.

Former Wandsworth Demons president Mark Wallace, back in Melbourne after several years in London, says: “The AFL community in London brings all types together and is a home away from home for many people. The standard in London is constantly improving and it compares to suburban leagues in Melbourne.

“Many locals are attracted to the game when they are looking for something different. They find rugby and soccer one-dimensional and they enjoy free-flowing style of play.

But in the end it’s just the greatest game.”

The Elastoplast AFL European Challenge at Kia Oval (bounce at 3.30pm), preceded by the curtain-raiser at 1pm, on Saturday, November 3. Adults £20 and children £5. Corporate packages are available at £999 per table of 10. Contact asharp@epgroup.com.au for bookings. Tickets from kiaoval.com

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THE ULTIMATE MACBACKPACKERS TRAVEL BLOGGING EXPERIENCE Would you like to tour around the best bits of scenic Scotland and tell the world about it as you go?

Luckily for you, TNTT has teamed up with MacBackpackers to offer one travel blogger the chance to do just that. Up for grabs is return National Express coach travel from London, a five-night Hogmanay tour, plus a fiveday Skye and Highland Fling tour.

Just get yourself signed up to my.tntmagazine.com and post a travel blog (up to 500 words). The best blog will be selected by a TNTT panel and a winner will be announced at the TNT Travel Show on Saturday, October 27.

To enter, go to my.tntmagazine.com and sign in to MyTNT. More info at

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PREVIOUS WINNERS TEMPER TRAP ONLINE COMPETITION: Diana O’Connell, Richard Belfitt

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

HUMAN PILE UP The smallest members of the ‘Capgrossos de Mataro’ group climb to the top of a human tower in Tarragona, Spain.

Photos: Getty, TNT

INSIDE

CHILLING OUT /66

GLORIOUS GDANSK /74

HIGH AS A KITE /80

You don’t need your passport to master the snow this winter. We’ve found Britain’s best ski slopes to practice on closer to home.

Pirate ship tours, cheap vodka shots and a fascinating war-torn history. We discover why Gdansk is the new Krakow.

Egypt’s top daredevil kitesurfers teach us a thing or two about taking on the waves and partying hard in El Gouna.

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TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer

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Bite down hard at Leatherpride

TRAVEL EDITOR

EVER BEEN CONNED BLIND? I have. Boy, have I been scammed over the years. The first time was in Bangkok and I was only 18. A tuk-tuk driver drove my friend and I down an alley, stopped and pointed to a dent in his bumper. “You kicked this and it broke,” he lied, calmly. “Now you give me $100.” We decided the best course of action was to leg it. I looked over my shoulder as we ran away, backpacks bouncing wildly on our backs, to see him chuckling away to an evil buddy.

Another time, in Shanghai, a ragged-looking shoe shiner threw a glob of what looked like bird shit on my boot, then grabbed my leg and started wiping it off, demanding huge amounts of money for the service. I tried to shake him off to no avail, and then finally yelled at him to go away (using a ruder, alternative expression), but it didn’t look good to passers-by. “l think that girl just kicked that poor beggar,” I heard a lady say to her husband on her way by. “Disgraceful.”

What else? Overpaying taxi drivers (it’s always from the airport that they inventing bogus tolls and extra fees, isn’t it?), buying ‘jade’ necklaces that left green smudges all over my neck, spending a tenner on a bottle of water because I got confused with the currency. You name it, it’s happened.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because there’s a new TV programme starting this week (see Swindle Cities on P63) about scams I’m looking forward to. I find it reassuring the most experienced travellers still get ripped off, but mostly I want to see how the reporter handles it. Anyone can get conned, but the best-travelled people know how to shake it off and not let it spoil the rest of their holiday. Not sure I’m quite there yet. How about you?

Email TNT’s travel ed Helen Elfer: helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

Amsterdam’s Red Light District is about to get a little bit kinkier, if that’s even possible. Leatherpride is a festival celebrating everything 2-4 fetish-related. But don’t panic, kinkwear fans, this event isn’t just limited to leather. If you turn up wearing something slippery, rubbery, covered in chains or even just easily removed, you’ll still be allowed join in all the nasty fun.

NOV

WHY: Heaps of deeply sleazy events are taking place, like the Whip and Bondage Workshop in Dirty Dicks bar. You can also party at Club Fuxxx’s Hard On night, where everyone sits around chatting over glasses of organic cider. Just kidding. The main event is the mega Ruff! The Party. Dress accordingly.

DAY OF THE DEAD Oaxaca, Mexico

Everyone’s dying to go to this party – honest. But 1 terrible gags aside, this is among Mexico’s most festive events, celebrating those who have crossed to the other side. Tributes are paid in flower-strewn cemeteries and decorative skulls litter the town.

NOV

oaxacadayofthedead.com

STREET MARKET Aberdeen, Scotland

get-ruff.com

VOODOO EXPERIENCE New Orleans, US

This annual Halloween weekend festival is an 26-28 extravaganza that brings you everything from indie bands to circus performers. This year’s line-up includes the bands Skillrex and Justice.

When you’re not rocking out, have a go on the spooky carnival rides or check out the huge art installations.

OCT

thevoodooexperience.com

MARWAR

Jodhpur, India This is not your average farmer’s market. Scotland is 2-4 host to one of the world’s biggest temporary street markets.

Over 70 stalls will sell everything from Dutch flowers to Belgian chocolates and Italian gourmet groceries.

NOV

aberdeencity.gov.uk

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DO IT BECAUSE: You’ve got certain needs that just aren’t quite being met in Wanstead.

You look awesome in a gimp mask and want to show off your new look to an appreciative audience. Or perhaps you just want to learn a thing or two about behaving badly.

There’s a whole host of local culture on display at this 28-29 vibrant annual festival, from folk music and regional dance displays, to acrobatics, horse sports such as polo, and music performances.

OCT

rajasthantourism.gov.in

Photo: Thinkstock

» Got any scam stories to share?

LEATHERPRIDE Amsterdam, Netherlands

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SWINDLE CITIES Ever been suckered into ordering an expensive rare antique on holiday that mysteriously never arrives? Paid £50 for a five-minute taxi journey?

Had the contents of your pockets swiped?

Or accidentally found yourself with a pile of counterfeit cash? Everyone’s been the victim of a con at some point on their travels, so the new TV series Scam City for National Geographic Channel might be of some comfort – if only to prove it could happen to anyone. City by city, the programme examines scams even the most experienced tourists get taken in by. Going to Rio, Bangkok or Prague soon? Watch this show and take notes. Scam City premieres on Oct 17 at 8pm.

SPEEDY SNOW TRAIN

Photo: Getty

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A high-speed train that can travel at nearly 220mph, even in extreme temperatures, has finally begun trials in China – it was meant to open in July. The locomotive will run on a new 570-mile line in northeast China, which gets hit by heavy snows in winter, linking the port city of Dalian to the capital of Heilongjiang Province, Harbin. The journey time for the route will be slashed from the current nine hours to just threeand-a-half hours. And it is believed to be the only train in the world capable of such speeds in frozen conditions – the train will be able to run in -40°C in winter and 40°C in the summer.

Located in the heart of Berlin’s young and trendy district of Prenzlauer Berg our hostel offers you the ideal mix of affordable accommodation and attractive ambience.

Most of our modern and functional single, double and triple rooms are fitted with a customizable colour-lighting, securing a relaxed and individual atmosphere.

QUEUE DODGERS An increasing number of flight passengers are faking disabilities to skip airport queues, according to airline staff. Passengers with reduced mobility don’t have to show any proof of their condition at most airports and an outrageous number of unscrupulous ablebodied travellers are taking advantage of this. Some airline staff have even coined the phrase ‘miracle flights’ to describe how some travellers require a wheelchair to board the aircraft, but depart without it. One Delta Air Lines staff member said: “When they see that the line is so long they just ask for a wheelchair.”

BERLIN

AURORA HOSTEL Pappelallee 21, 10437 Berlin (Prenzlauer Berg)

Phone: +49 (0)30 46 99 55 30 www.aurora-hostel.com

BEST OF BRITAIN The quintessentially British brand Mulberry, famed for its pricey handbags and other luxury goods, has created a new travel guide highlighting the UK’s most underrated places and people called Brilliant Britain. Luminaries such as fashion photographer Tim Walker, British Vogue editor Alexandra Shulman and philosopher Alain de Botton have contributed to the guide found at brilliantbritainguide.com and in booklet form from Mulberry stores around the world. It’s not all designer shops and champers though darlings, you’ll even find fish ’n’ chip shops and tattoo parlours in this tribute to quirky Brits.

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Grind it out: try stunts at SnowDome

Ski slopes BRITAIN

SCOTLAND Glasgow

ENGLAND Castleford Manchester Tamworth LONDON

Clockwise: Xxxxxxxxxxxx (Clockwise) Going aerial at Chill Factore; learning the basics with a group lesson; sledging fun at SnowDome

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UKTRIP

Chilling out You don’t need your passport to master the snow this winter – we find Britain’s best ski slopes to practice on closer to home WORDS HELEN ELFER

Save yourself a few quid this year by skipping the pricey ski trips abroad. Rather than fork out for flights and expensive accommodation in the Alps or the US, you can hit up slopes much closer to home for a bargain snowy session.

Across the country there are centres offering tip-top skiing and snowboarding facilities. And we’re not talking about any of that uninspiring dry rubber nonsense – these places have plenty of the white stuff (or at least the man-made version) to practice on. Wrap up warm and get involved at our pick of the biggest and best slopes in the country.

Photos: Jon Super/Chill Factore; Adrian Cairns/Snowdome; Russ Shea/Dopeshots

SnowDome, Tamworth THE WHITE STUFF: Crisp, powdery snow covers the steep 170m slope at SnowDome – perfect for practising your plough technique or snowboard turns. With two 25m- and 30m-long teaching slopes in the Snow Academy areas, separated from the fast-paced chaos of the main skiing stretch, it’s ideal for newbies. Book an hour’s lesson for £27 and turn up wearing warm clothes, the rest – equipment and protecive head gear – is provided.

MORE CHILLY THRILLS: Adrenaline tubing is every bit as fun as it sounds. Plonk yourself in one of the inflatable rings – specially designed to glide smoothly over snow – and hurtle down the slopes at top speed. The best thing about tubing here is that it’s for big kids only, so you can go hell for leather without having to spend time waiting behind a queue of tots. A 30-minute session is £9. snowdome.co.uk Chill Factore, Manchester THE WHITE STUFF: As if Manchester wasn’t chilly enough already, Chill Factore’s 180m slope brings the temperature down even further, as it’s a shivery -1.5ºC inside. There’s a great snowboarding scene here, with taster sessions (£27 for an hour-long group lesson) for newbies. If you’re already a bit of a pro, you can take private lessons to learn even flashier flips and spins. You big show off.

MORE CHILLY THRILLS: Does riding an ‘Avalanche’ sound extreme enough for you? If you’re not put off by visions of being buried alive in a snowstorm, give snow-sphering a roll.

You’ll be harnessed in to a huge plastic ball, which is four metres in diameter, then pushed down the slope, getting up

to an exhilarating 30mph. Turning 360 degrees, this isn’t for the faint-hearted – you’ll have to steady your shaking knees after with a stiff après-ski drink at the bar overlooking the slopes. Snow-sphering costs £24.50 for a two-hour session. chillfactore.com Sno!zone, Castleford THE WHITE STUFF: The Castleford branch of Sno!zone holds more than 1500 tonnes of snow, which means all the subzero skiing and snowboarding shenanigans you could ever ask for. Short on time? Book on to the intensive eight-hour training day, during which you can cover the beginner’s programme (normally split into four lessons) in one go. It’ll be a killer on the thighs, but you’ll end up ready for the main slope by the end of the day. It costs £159.99pp. When you’re not zooming down the slopes, keep your eyes peeled for skiing celebs – apparently Justin Timberlake, Peter Andre and Girls Aloud like a little Sno!zone action, too.

MORE CHILLY THRILLS: There are heaps of activities besides skiing and snowboarding. Try the ice slide (£15.99 for 45 minutes), where you’ll be given a large rubber tube to sit inside before speeding through the carved-out ice-run.

There’s also a sledging run which costs £11.99 for 30 minutes. snozoneuk.com Snow Factor, Glasgow THE WHITE STUFF: Here you’ll find an impressive 200m main run, the longest in the UK, and some 1500 tonnes of snow, making it spot-on for intermediate skiers and boarders looking to improve their technique and practice at speed.

There’s also a smaller and quieter dedicated learners’ slope. Lessons cost £29 per hour.

MORE CHILLY THRILLS: At the moment, your only non-skiing or snowboarding option here is sledging, which costs £11 for 30 minutes. However, there are plans to open an Volunteering hols: ice luge (a first for the UK) Do good and see the and an ice-climbing wall UK at the same time before winter’s end. snowfactor.com

NEXT WEEK

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LATEDEALS

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A seven-day Italy tour with Travel Talk takes in Venice (pictured), Rome and more for £310pp

DEAL OF THE WEEK BERLIN BREAK

£199

Two nights with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk/holidays) quoting reference 1241340.

Includes flights and hotel. Book

by October 15. Valid November 26-December 17.

< £250

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ITALY A seven-day tour costs £310pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes fourand three-star accommodation, some meals, a private boat trip in Venice, visits to Florence, Rome and more.

Excludes flights and local payment.

Book by October 31. Departs April 10 and April 24, 2013.

TENERIFE A seven-night stay in Tenerife costs just £386pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes flights and fourstar, all-inclusive accomodation at Blue Sea Lagos De Cesar. Departs London Gatwick on November 2.

MOROCCO A 10-day tour costs £465pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 4998487; intrepidtravel.com).

Includes accommodation and some meals. Excludes flights. Book by October 26. Departs Marrakech on November 10.

> £500 DUBAI A five-night trip costs £515pp (save £75) with Flight Centre (0844 8008624; flightcentre.co.uk), quoting reference number 2271107.

Includes flights and three-star, B&B accommodation. Prices based on two sharing. Book by October 20. Valid for travel January 7-February 28, 2013.

Departs London Heathrow.

MOROCCO A 15-night tour costs £509pp (save 25 per cent ) with Travel Talk (traveltalktours.com; 0208 0998852). Includes camping, four-star rooms, some meals. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by October 21. Departs October 27.

EGYPT A seven-night stay costs £799pp with Red Sea Holidays (redseaholidays.co.uk; 0845 0265973). Includes flights and allinclusive accommodation at The Makadi Palace Hotel. Valid for travel from October 19-25. Departs Gatwick.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

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NICE A two-night break costs £119pp with easyJet Holidays (easyJet.com/holidays; 0843 1041000). Includes return direct flights and also two nights’ B&B, four-star accommodation at the Nice Hotel, which is situated in the Old Town. Departs from London Luton on November 29.

EGYPT A nine-day tour costs £194pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (traveltalktours.com; 020 8099 8852). Includes five- and four-star accommodation, some meals and visits to Cairo, the pyramids and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by October 31. Departs December 24.

ALGARVE A seven-night stay costs £92pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/holidays).

Includes flights and room-only, threestar accommodation at the Agua Marina hotel. Departs from London Southend on November 15.

DUBLIN A two-night stay costs £155pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes return direct flights and five-star, B&B accommodation at Radisson Blu St Helen’s Hotel. Departs from London Luton on October 22.

BARCELONA Two nights costs £105pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes direct return flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at H10 Itaca. Departs from London Stansted on November 5.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

RUTH ROXANNE BOARD Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Symmetry Symmetry is a key part of nature photography and can highlight simplicity in complicated-looking objects. Achieving symmetry in an image can happen when elements of the frame have ‘equal weight’ on both sides.

An asymmetrical image is where objects in a frame differ in size, weight and position. It can be

hard to achieve a balanced image, but it can make your photograph more interesting and dynamic.

Be careful not to make your images too lopsided.

It can be challenging to master symmetry and asymmetry, but this will come with practice, and that’s the only way to develop your own photographer’s critical eye.

RUNNER-UP

WINNER ONE LOVE, ONE HEART, ONE SOUL Petya Velcheva, Sofia, Bulgaria

WHY IT WORKS The two swans gaze at each other as they float on the pond’s rippled surface. Known for their tendency to mate for life, this couple of love-birds look as though they’re in the middle of their courtship.

The black and white nature of the image highlights the water’s texture, with miniature waves of light and dark, while the white feathered birds stand out as the main focus. The differing sizes of the birds and their off-centre position creates an asymmetry with the weight to the right of the frame.

RUNNER-UP GIRL ON BUS Emily Macdonald, Winton, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS The young girl looks out on to the street as she travels on a coach in Vietnam. The soft, warm light is reflected in the window, creating a mirror image, albeit a ghostly and faint version. She raises her finger as if she recognises something or someone on the road.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

WIN

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TOP FIVE

MARKETS

CHECKING IN

1

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GRAND BAZAAR, TURKEY

Perfect location

JERUSALEM HOSTEL OVERVIEW The best thing about this hostel is its location. Just in front of Zion Square, you’re about as close to West Jerusalem’s nightlife as it’s possible to get without spending a night sleeping under a bar. All the shops, cafes and icecream counters you could ask for are on your doorstep. Tempting as it might be to ask for a room overlooking the square, don’t – you’ll regret it when groups of revellers gather below your window at 3am. The hostel has free wifi in the lobby and we found the staff to be helpful and easy-going.

WOW FACTOR The large rooftop terrace with funky tables and comfy chairs is perfect for getting to know your fellow guests. Bring beers from the local off-licence and sip them while looking out over the stunning Zion Square. It’s also a perfect spot for eating brekkie or lunch.

ROOMS Very basic, with ramshackle bathrooms that could do with some new tiles. Ours was clean and comfortable, though, and you’d struggle to find anything much cheaper in the west of the city.

BILL, PLEASE Dorm room £13pppn, single £37pppn and double £42.50pn.

Yafo 44, Jerusalem jerusalem-hostel.com

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Where better to immerse yourself in local culture than a frenetic market?

Bartering for bargains, haggling over homeware and letting the sights, sounds and smells batter your senses. It’s the perfect way to escape the tourist traps in popular holiday destinations. Whether it’s at a Middle Eastern souk, a European bazaar or an Asian wet market, there are usually as many locals picking up groceries as there are holidaymakers photographing every quirky stall.

Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar is our pick of the world’s best. The covered market, which is more than 500 years old, is a labyrinth of narrow alleys lined with silver jewellery stores, sacks of pungent spices, bright lanterns, embroidered carpets and fabulously carved antique furniture. There are more than 5000 shops along the 60 streets inside the huge two-domed building, the first of which dates back to 1455.

This is a market unlike any other, housing two mosques, four fountains and two hamams for visitors to gaze at

while snapping up cheap goods. And, so long as you’re prepared to bust out your best haggling skills, you can bag an excellent deal.

The best buys to be made are leather goods – you can pick up bargain belts, wallets and bags for much less than you’d pay at home. Take your time agreeing on prices, though – many of the sellers are mathematical wizards, switching between any number of currencies and calculating percentaged discounts quicker than you can work out the exchange rate.

Feeling flush? The more pricey items – furniture, copperware, prayer beads and jewellery – are sold in the domed hall of Cevahir Bedesten.

After all that shopping, treat yourself to a strong Turkish coffee in one of the many cosy cafes inside the Grand Bazaar, which are interspersed between the shops. Then sit back, examine your purchases and spend the next hour people-watching for an unforgettable cultural experience. grandbazaaristanbul.org

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TSUKIJI FISH MARKET, JAPAN

It’s the biggest wholesale fish market in the world and has an overwhelming smell to match. Tokyo’s Tsukiji seems as though it has half the content of the ocean laid out on ice.

There are amazing products on sale here, from wildly expensive pots of caviar to monstrous 300kg tuna. It’s auction-only inside the inner market, reserved for authorised buyers, while the public can pick up seafood at smaller shops in the outer market. tsukiji-market.or.jp

Photos: Getty; AFP

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MARKETS

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FABRIC MARKET, SHANGHAI

Fancy a tailored suit for about £60?

How about a dress of Chinese silk, made to measure for £30?

Shanghai’s biggest fabric market is pure chaos, with piles of rolledup materials, random assortments of clothes and people arguing at top volume about prices over the constant whir of old-fashioned sewing machines. But bring a Chinesespeaking guide and everything will fall into place. Shopping Tours Shanghai run visits from £40. shoppingtoursshanghai.com

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TOP FIVE

FETISH MARKET, TOGO

The name of this market in Lomé is a little misleading (unless you have very niche bedroom tastes). Instead of latex and leather, you’ll find lots of animal skulls, bones and sacrificial dolls, all of which are used for voodoo spells and medicines.

Among the collections are hundreds of chimpanzee body parts, which are ground into a medicinal powder that’s supposed to help a man’s, ahem, performance. africa.com/togo/travel

5

BERBER SOUK, MOROCCO

If you look like a tourist as you’re wandering around the cavernous Berber souk in Marrakech, shouts of “Primark prices!” will follow you wherever you go.

And, the reality is, many traditional Moroccan products here really are almost that – hand-painted ceramics and beautiful leather lampshades can be bought for next to nothing.

Practically everyone you meet will try to sell you a rug you don’t want, but that’s all part of the fun.

NEXT WEEK Get the shivers: Extremely cold holidays

visitmorocco.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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See the ever-changing ice-scape of Greenland from a helicopter

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AIRPORT LOUNGE VOUCHERS WORTH £60

If your tip is printed, you’ll win vouchers (worth up to £60) for entry for two into one of No.1 Traveller’s airport lounges at Heathrow, Gatwick or Stansted. With complimentary food and drinks, free wifi and newspapers and magazines, your trip will get off to a flying start. See No1Traveller.com Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email traveltips@tntmagazine.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate.

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YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

Greenland’s landscape is rapidly Q As changing, I want to visit as soon as possible. I’m limited by budget and don’t want to take part in any type of adventure holiday. Do you have any tips for me?

Milla, via email is a destination like no other. The A Greenland magnificent scenery is virtually untouched

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Would you suggest heading across Algeria or down through Mauritania? Then I’m heading from Kenya to Cape Town. Any advice on borders/visas would be greatly appreciated. Luke, via email news I’m afraid Luke, overland A Bad travel from Morocco to eastern Africa is impossible, as all overland routes eventually encounter an unsafe area which you should not travel through. In fact, large sections of your entire suggested journey are classified as unsafe for travel by the Foreign Office.

My advice would be to take two separate trips, one to Morocco and one to eastern Africa.

Despite being on the African continent, Morocco is far better connected by air to Europe than other parts of Africa, making it ideal for a short break from London.

Kenya’s neighbouring countries have a wealth of incredible landscapes and wildlife.

Think about taking in the cosmopolitan Ethiopian capital, Addis Ababa, tracking gorillas in either Uganda or Rwanda and joining an organised tour to Rwanda’s stunning Parc National des Volcans (Volcanoes National Park).

Travel to this region is relatively safe if you follow these caveats: avoid the northern section of the Kenya/Uganda border and, in all countries, always keep to main roads, stick to recognised border crossings and check the Foreign Office website (fco.gov.uk) regularly for safety updates.

TIP

OF THE

BAG A BARGAIN WEEK When I was in Luang Prabang in Laos I visited the night market to pick up some silver rings for my sister. I spent about half an hour at the stall and got two for a fiver. I think the longer you spend talking to the seller, the cheaper you can get stuff – it’s always worked for me, anyway!

Claire Dailey, via email NO TO KNOCK-OFFS I used to live in Dubai and there was a big market called Dragon Mart, which sold fake designer glasses and handbags and stuff. But my advice would be never to buy knock-offs when you’re abroad! They only ever last a few weeks before they fall apart.

Becs Morice, via email

A LONELY PLANET GUIDE

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photo: Thinkstock

– unspoiled wilderness trails, glaciers and fjords make this a unique part of the world.

Climate change is making a huge impact on Greenland’s landscape, and this summer the country saw unprecedented melting of its snow and ice. For an opportunity to see first-hand the effects of climate change, consider taking a helicopter journey across the country. Flights depart from both Nanortalik and Qaqortoq.

In both of these old towns, the quaint 19thcentury buildings will give you a glimpse of the historical side of Greenland, too. In particular, Nanortalik’s harbour, lined with timber cottages, is a real gem. The town’s museum is definitely worth a look as well, with the old general store, bakery and cooperage all on display here. Also in the south are the 1000-year-old Norse ruins at Qassiarsuk, where you can find a carefully reconstructed longboat.

To save money and get as close as possible to the people of Greenland, arrange to bunk down with a local family in a homestay. These can be arranged through the tourist office in Uummannaq. Or, sign up to couchsurfing.com and check its list of Greenland hosts.

January, I’m considering travelling Q In from Marrakech to Nairobi overland.

READERS’ TIPS ON MARKETS

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WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

Been somewhere good lately?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

DUDEN WATERFALLS, TURKEY Tene Sidibe, from France

BEST / WORST TRIP

THE TRAVELLER

SEBASTIAN STOBBS, 29

LENA NORI, 23

London, England

London, England

BEST My favourite trip was to the Napa Valley in California. It was beautiful. America is a lot prettier than people give it credit for. I have family all over the world, so I’ve been going away since I was aged two.

Your best travel tip? Don’t fly Ryanair – they’re unnecessarily strict about luggage and not very friendly.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Our car packed up while we were in Italy.

We had to wait on the side of the road for ages and then run like mad for our train when we finally got to the station.

Scariest travel experience? An engine broke down on my plane back from Cyprus. Everyone was screaming that we were going to die.

WORST I went to Berlin with a girl I didn’t know very well. I loved Berlin but hated the trip. The girl ended up being a bit nuts, which I didn’t realise until I was stuck with her for about a week. It was not fun. » Tell us about your best/worst trips, email helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

SPLASHING OUT

THE INSIDER

Photos: Thinkstock, TNT

VISIT SINGAPORE AND MALAYSIA Spend nine luxurious nights exploring Southeast Asia.

A trip to Singapore and Penang costs £949pp with Bridge The World (bridgetheworld.com; 0800 988 6884). Includes return flights and four-star accommodation, with some breakfasts included.

Valid for travel on departures before December 9 2012. Departs London Heathrow.

KAYE BATTEN Head of Channel Development Ritesim.com

My most challenging travel experience was nearly drowning! When I was a toddler we had a family holiday to Italy. I was chasing ducks, and as they jumped into the pond, I followed. Thankfully, my nappy kept me afloat.

My favourite place in the world is Amsterdam. I fell in love with the city when I went with a group of friends for a long weekend. It’s such a beautiful place.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is New York. It’s always been at the top of my wishlist.

My top travel tip is that you should make a point of knowing the cultural etiquette in your destination.

My guilty travel pleasure is being lazy – booking all-inclusive packages and spending as much time by the pool reading a good book and topping up my tan. I know I should take in as many sights as possible and go on excursions, but the chance to just relax for a week or two normally wins.

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Pastel colours: the Gdansk waterfront is like a work of art [Caption]

Gdansk

Gdansk

POLAND

WARSAW

GETTING THERE Ryanair flies direct from London Stansted to Gdansk from £50.99 return. bookryanair.com

POLAND

(Clockwise) Getting ready for a shipyards bus tour; the historic docks; beers in Old Town; Neptune’s Fountain in the city centre [Caption] 74

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A wind in its sails Pirate ship tours, cheap vodka shots and a fascinating war-torn history. We discover why glorious Gdansk is the new Krakow WORDS SIMON COLE

An industrial port on the edge of the Baltic may not sound like an ideal spot for a mini-break, but with its cobbled streets and pastel-coloured Flemish buildings, Gdansk is full of surprises. And right now is the time to go, before it starts attracting anywhere near the hefty number of visitors Polish hotspot Krakow does. From a tourist’s perspective, it still feels almost undiscovered.

For its size, Gdansk has played a big part in 20th-century European history. The German invasion of the city (then known as Danzig and an important port) effectively began the Second World War. And when the Cold War that came later finally ended, the anti-communist Solidarity movement born in Gdansk’s huge shipyards was given widespread credit for its role in the collapse of the Soviet Union.

Now the restored Old Town in the north of the city is a beautiful place, with richly decorated facades, elaborate gable ends and historic religious buildings, such as St Mary’s, the world’s largest brick church. The overall impression is you get more of what you’d expect from Belgium’s Bruges than the Eastern Bloc, but it’s less twee and a lot cheaper. And after an injection of funds ahead of being a host city for Euro 2012, it’s looking better than ever.

I begin my day with a mid-morning pirate galleon cruise (perlalew.pl), which takes in some of the city’s best views from the water. The 90-minute trip only costs a fiver, and despite the pre-lunch hour, a few of my hardy shipmates are glugging £2 pints of beer as soon as we board. Departing from near Gdansk’s famous wooden medieval crane, we head down river, away from the Old Town and towards the sea, passing the modern shipyard cranes and the famous Lenin Shipyards, which spread as far as you can see. I make a mental note to visit there later, but the destination for now is the Westerplatte, a peninsula on the Baltic Sea. The preserved bunkers in this bleak area are where outmanned and outgunned Polish soldiers did their best to repel Nazi troops on September 1, 1939, starting the war.

That occupation was just the start for the Poles – when Hitler was beaten and the Nazis kicked out in 1945, Soviet forces under dictator Joseph Stalin took over their rule.

The country’s eventual liberation came led by a local electrician named Lech Walesa who formed the Solidarity group and led a mass strike at the Lenin Shipyards. He would later win the Nobel Peace Prize and become Poland’s

president. I am told this tale while trundling around the docks in a rickety 1984 Czech bus dubbed the ‘Cucumber’ as part of the Subjective Bus Line tour (wyspa.art.pl). Our young guide, Michal, translates for a Polish shipyard worker, who he tells us worked here for more than 40 years. He saw the uprisings first hand and tells visitors the Solidarity story as we drive past Walesa’s workshop. “Look at the glass, it’s frosted,” he says. “Workers walked past every day just to see

“

My hardy shipmates glug their cheap beers

”

him [Walesa] and the authorities did whatever they could to stop it. So people left flowers on the window ledge instead.”

The bus tour is run by the Wyspa Institute of Art, which ›› is tucked away inside the vast semi-wasteland of the

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shipyard. It’s an unlikely, if edgy, setting for contemporary art and where you’ll also find Gdansk’s hippest club, Buffet (Doki 1, tel. +48 516846138), which attracts a discerning, artistic crowd – although its reign may be short-lived, with the Lenin Shipyards that surround it slated for redevelopment.

I return to the Old Town for a drink at Buddha Lounge, where the friendly staff are enjoying a boom following Euro 2012’s success, especially with an influx of Irish fans.

“They drank for 22 hours then rang home to tell all their friends to get over here, because it was much prettier than they expected,” the barman says. “We’ve had loads more tourists since then.”

My next stop is an inn called Notocyk for a late-night snack.

This is one of the Old Town’s trendy yet ironically communistthemed hostelries. Gdansk’s past may not hit a raw nerve any more, but the meat does, with traditional uncooked ‘tartar’ beef coming with a raw egg garnish. I hastily wash it down with an 80p vodka shot.

As I sit under an austere portrait of General Jaruzelski, Poland’s last communist-era dictator, I decide that it’s because it’s not as polished as Krakow that Gdansk has an unusual and unique charm of its own. ❚

St Mary’s is the largest brick church in Europe

NEXT WEEK Taking on the Swiss slopes: We go extreme skiing in Verbier

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

A no-frills Polish meal costs about £2 at Neptun. This is one of the few remaining communist-era ‘Milk Bars’ which used to be state-subsidised canteens. Neptun is still a great place for a cheap feed, so is often full of backpackers as well as pensioners. barneptun.pl

On Sopot’s pier, with a great sea view, the ‘meat feast’ platter (including pork neck) in Restauracja Laguna Smaku (pictured left) serves five people for only £6 each. lagunasmaku.pl

Microbrewery Brovarnia serves up fresh salmon with chive sauce on spinach for £9.80 in beer heaven.

Cosy and relaxed, it’s housed in the historical granary by the Motława river in Gdansk. brovarnia.pl

DRINK

A cheeky vodka chaser is a retroprice 80p in communist-nostalgia bar Notocyk at Chlebnicka 2. facebook.com/notocyk

A wide selection of local beers cost about £1.60 each in the casual Amsterdam Bar. Situated just off Dluga street (the Old Town’s main street) it has outdoor seating, perfect for a spot of people-watching.

(Garbary 6/7, tel. +48 58 717 29 39)

Friendly staff, a late licence and cocktails for £3.35: lap it up at Buddha Lounge where trendy exposed brickwork and chic decor make it a hotspot for Gdansk’s smarter set. buddhalounge.pl

SLEEP

Overlooking the river and by the main drag, dorm beds in the Old Town start at £5.90pppn at the Riverside Hostel (pictured above), which has a reputation for friendly, helpful staff. riverside-hostel.pl

Plain, but this hotel does the job: the Novotel Centrum (pictured left) is central, functional and popular with coach groups. Double rooms from £43.50pn. novotel.com

Yacht-themed premium double rooms go from £124pn above brew pub Brovarnia in the swanky Hotel Gdansk (pictured above). This upmarket spot has a renowned spa onsite, too, for when you really feel like treating yourself. hotelgdansk.com.pl

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Simon Cole

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

King of the castles This is Budapest in 48 hours WORDS HELEN ELFER

DAY 1: 09:00 Nothing kicks off a great weekend like a slapup breakfast and a cup of strong coffee. Get yours at Briós Kávézó (breakfast £2.50, Pozsonyi út 16, tel. +36 17896110), named after the French breakfast pastry brioche.

This Hungarian staple is even better with hot chocolate.

11:00 Once you’re fuelled up, wander over the iconic Széchenyi Chain Bridge, across the River Danube between Buda and Pest, the western and eastern sides of Budapest. The bridge dates back to 1849.

12:00 Take the funicular (a short but scenic rail journey) from Clark Ádám tér at the Buda end of the Chain Bridge to the Castle District, a Unesco site. This area was established around 1265, and there’s plenty to explore. It’s small enough to get round on foot, so take in the Vienna Gate, once a medieval market, the baroque Matthias Church and the horseback statue of András Hadik, a general in the Hussar (a branch of cavalry that began in Hungary). Check out the horse’s shiny yellow testicles, which are a different colour to the rest of the statue. Apparently students polish them for luck on the morning of their exams.

13:00 Buda Castle, also known as the Royal Palace, is the main building in the district, and is home to the Hungarian National Gallery (entry £3.40, mng.hu), where you can gaze at stunning 20th-century paintings, Renaissance stone carvings and modern artwork on display.

14:00 For a cheap and cheerful lunch, Menza (mains from £5, menzaetterem.hu) is a must. It’s full of trendy young professionals grabbing a quick bite. Go large and order one of their popular burgers – you won’t be disappointed.

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16:00 Still peckish? Head on over to Great Market Hall (piaconline.hu), Budapest’s most popular tourist attraction.

More than a century old, the grand venue – built to rival Les Halles in Paris and Covent Garden in London – boasts all sorts of Hungarian delicacies, including strings of garlic, salamis, pastries and wines. Look out for the themed food events, as well as the cooking demonstrations throughout the day.

20:00 Before a night on the town, treat yourself to dinner at Spoon (mains from £11, spooncafe.hu), a fusion restaurant which floats on the river. This is an ultra-romantic place to eat and has jaw-dropping views over the Danube, to the Castle District and the Chain Bridge, which lights up at night. The food is spot-on – definitely worth splurging.

23:00 Now make your way to Corvintetö (drinks from £3, corvinteto.hu/en), where you’ll find a hip crowd dancing until the wee hours to drum ‘n’ bass. This is a cool venue – the top floor of a department store converted into a nightclub. You won’t have long to wait at the impressive 30m-long bar, so grab a beer then head to the rooftop terrace to boogie the night away under the stars.

DAY 2: 10:00 After a well-deserved lie in, amble to Gerlóczy Café (gerloczy.hu) for a hearty hangoverpreventing brekky, which is served until noon.

11:00 Make a quick stop at Budapest Zoo (entry £6.80, zoobudapest.com), one of the oldest zoos in the world.

Gawp at prairie dog puppies, gorilla babies, orangutans, hippos, elephants, tigers, 70 species of insects and more.

13:00 You’ll need to refuel, so stop at Új Sípos Halászkert (mains £5.50, ujsipos.hu) for a bowl of fish soup for lunch.

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Dine alfresco and while away an hour people-watching.

14:30 Budapest is famous for its Turkish baths, so don’t leave without spending a few hours lazing in them. The largest complex is the Széchenyi Bath And Spa (weekend ticket £11.25, szechenyibath.com), which dates back to 1881 and has 10 indoor and four outdoor thermal baths. Also book massages, facials and other beauty treatments, including underwater jet therapy, here.

17:00 With your energy levels topped up, stroll to the Palace Of Arts (mupa.hu/en), near Lágymányosi Bridge, to check out the modern art museum. The building alone is worth a visit – at 10,000sqm, it’s the size of a small village.

Explore the Bartók National Concert Hall, a beautiful building which hosts all music genres, from Jimi Hendrix tributes to classical piano concerts.

20:00 For traditional Hungarian food, we recommend dining at the popular Karpatia Restaurant (mains from £10, karpatia.hu). A gypsy band provides the soundtrack while you chow down on tasty dishes such as paprika chicken and goulash.

22:00 Finish off the night by sampling Hungary’s national tipple. The lively A38 bar (drinks from £2, a38.hu/en) serves Pálinka, a fruit brandy that goes down a treat. Try the apricot, strawberry and raspberry flavours which will gear you up for another night on the tiles.

Return flights from London to Budapest cost from £130 with easyJet easyjet.com budapest.com

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El Gouna

CAIRO

EGYPT

El Gouna

EGYPT

GETTING THERE Egyptair flies from London Heathrow to Hurghada via Cairo from ÂŁ465 return. egyptair.com

Hurghada

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BIGTRIP

High as a kite Egypt’s top daredevil kitesurfers teach us a thing or two about taking on the waves and partying hard in El Gouna WORDS LAURA LAKER

WHEN TO GO: The best times to visit are April/May and “Ever ridden a horse?” my Egyptian bar!” he yells over the wind. I’m taught to November/December when the kitesurfing instructor Cousha asks. imagine the area in front of me as a clock. weather is cooler, but the wind Before I can answer, he continues: “This is If I want to move left, I pull the bar into the is still strong enough for kitesurfing. ‘power zone’ between 10 and 11 o’clock; to the exact opposite of riding a horse. Pull Winter is less windy. on that line and we will soon be watching move right, I bring it between one and two you fly away.” So it’s with those anxietyo’clock; at 12, the kite sits in neutral. It’s not CURRENCY: £1 = EGP 9.8 inducing instructions I’m introduced to as simple as it sounds.

(Egyptian pound) kitesurfing. The sport is a relatively new “Move the kite to 11 o’clock,” Cousha ACCOMMODATION: one, a complicated combo of wakeboarding, bellows. I promptly move it to one o’clock.

Mövenpick Resort and Spa in El windsurfing and gymnastics. In 1998 it Gouna has accommodation starting “Look at the kite!” he yells. “Where is it?” went mainstream. Coincidentally, that was Oh, god, I feel like an idiot. from £90pn for a double room, the same year that El Gouna, the Egyptian I spend the next hour wrestling the kite, which includes a breakfast buffet. kitesurfing hot spot where I’m taking my while Cousha gives me a hard time when SEE: moevenpick-hotels.com lessons, started its transformation from I get it wrong – which I do, often. But we empty desert to developed tourist town. soon develop a fun rapport, and despite the Arriving at the Red Sea resort had been a bit of a mission banter, I’m sure I’m improving. (a 40-hour delay thanks to airline strikes meant I’d spent the El Gouna provides perfect kiting conditions for beginners previous night camped out in Heathrow airport), so I have and pros alike thanks to a gentle breeze for most of the never been so pleased to see a tour driver as I am to see year (April to November are the most reliable months) and Samy. The Cairo-born Egyptian has an infectious smile and 100-150m of warm, shallow water along the town’s 10km of welcomes me to Hurghada airport in the hot September sun. desert coast, which ends in lush reefs and sand bars.

I greet him with salaam alaikum (hello) and he gives me After my class, I’m introduced to Nemo, another a few enthusiastic high-fives, teaches me some new words RedSeaZone instructor who happens to be Egypt’s thirdand turns up his stereo. Soon everyone in my tour group’s best kitesurfer. He’s guaranteed a place in Egypt’s team for minibus is clapping along to Middle Eastern pop sensation Rio 2016, where kitesurfing will feature in the Olympics for Amr Diab’s Habibi Ya Nour El Ain, hurtling along the desert the first time. Nemo – a relaxed character with an obvious highway towards El Gouna. nickname – is testament to how far this sport has come.

Refreshed the next morning, we head to RedSeaZone, one Having spent hours in the water, I’m ravenous. Doaa, our of three kitesurfing schools on the outskirts of El Gouna, on straight-talking guide, takes us Downtown – with bazaars, the funkily named Mangroovy Beach. Its L-shaped wooden boutiques, restaurants and plenty of shops, it’s a popular beachfront structure houses equipment, a bar with comfy tourist hangout. We munch nachos and pasta at Jobo’s sports sofas and a hammock, two friendly dogs and numerous bar (Tammr Henna, Downtown, tel. +2 065 358 0521 ext. kiteboarders sheltering from the blistering sun.

32127). The venue serves free beer on Mondays between Standing on the pale sand, wearing a waist harness and 7pm-9pm, and at 10pm, a waiter brings us free chilli vodka a foam helmet, my back to the wind, I hold a horizontal bar shots with fresh mango juice. Happy days! tethered to my front with the kite hovering high above.

“We have a lot of retard here,” Doaa shouts over the My instructor Cousha starts the drill: “We move the kite music. “Polish retard, also German, English.” We all look in infinity,” he explains, meaning that the figure-of-eight at each other, and I’m not sure how to respond. I open motion will help power me through the water. my mouth, then close it again, before I realise she’s saying After a few botched attempts, the gloves are off and “retired”. Relieved, we all fall about laughing. ›› Cousha is losing his patience. “Not like that, stop pulling the El Gouna comes alive at night; after working so hard TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Making waves: maneuvering kites is trickier than it looks; an experienced kitesurfer in action; Bedouins know how to throw a party in the water during the day, everyone wants to let their hair down. We’re not ready to call it a night, so we catch a taxi to RedSeaZone’s Monday night live music session.

Max, a British expat in his twenties with long blond hair, joins us. Having come here on a gap year in 2009, he fell in love with it and never went home. “I came here as a divemaster, traded drum lessons for kitesurfing lessons and now I teach kiting here,” he explains.

Kitesurfing wasn’t part of the original plan for El Gouna.

It was only when groups of keen kiters started turning up regularly that schools began springing up to accommodate them. Now the waters are packed with kites and a real community has formed around the sport.

The next day, I wake bleary-eyed and in need of water.

But after a quick freshen up, I’m keen to get back out into the sea. “We’re going to try body dragging,” Cousha informs me. This, I learn, is similar to Western movies when cowboys drag their enemies behind a horse until they die – and, yes, it’s painful. With a mind of its own, my kite repeatedly plummets into the turquoise water with an almighty splash, yanking me face-first into the waves. I now understand why I was made to wear a helmet.

I’m aching everywhere and I’m starting to flag. But Cousha shouts at me to get the kite back into the air.

I’m scared; I need to get it to three or nine o’clock before I launch it, but while I’m tugging on one line, it dances on the water looking like it’ll take off unexpectedly and whisk me away to Mozambique.

Finally, however, I have a breakthrough: the kite rises gently into the air, I relax and can feel – and, more importantly, can control – each tiny movement of the wind in the kite as it hovers in the sun, like a majestic bird of prey.

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I daren’t breathe too deeply in case the spell is broken. I feel like the horse whisperer. Cousha says quietly: “You can feel the kite.” I can feel triumph.

Before our final session, my group persuades Cousha and Nemo to show off their skills. We wade out to a safe depth for jumping, away from the rocks, and watch them in their element in the bright morning sun.

They’re skimming the water, flying through the air performing board grabs, flips and turns with the brightly

Picturesque: the resort at sunset

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painted buildings of El Gouna hazy behind them, the mountains beyond, and myriad colourful kites overhead.

I’m suddenly brought back to reality with a jolt, as Cousha comes flying towards us, yelling: “Look out!” He’s almost within touching distance as he takes off and arcs 180 degrees around us, two metres above our heads. I feel the adrenaline surge through my body – and that’s just from watching. Now I get why people love it so much.

Before jumping back into the water, we grab a top lunch in the swanky Abu Tig Marina area, in Club 88 (Abu Tig Marina North, tel. +2 015 0739 3572), perfect for a few beachside nibbles and fruity cocktails.

Then, inspired by the instructors’ expertise, many of us manage to stand up on our boards later that day – albeit briefly – swallowing what feels like half the Red Sea with

“

I’m yanked face-first into the waves

”

each wipeout. But it’s worth it for the sense of achievement.

Buoyed by our success, we’re keen to celebrate tonight, so Doaa insists on taking us to a traditional Bedouin camp where we feast on Egyptian food – flatbreads, mezze dips and grilled meat – and watch a live show. Tonight, bellydancers, a whirling dervish and a comedy horse keep us entertained while we suck on flavoured shisha and sip black tea.

It’s party night on Mangroovy Beach, so we ditch the cultural experience and go off in search of beer and cocktails, arriving around midnight as the music is pumping.

The RedSeaZone instructors are here, cutting some rather unusual shapes on the sand. I order a cocktail and chat to Cousha, who’s less intimidating when he’s not in the water.

In fact, he’s quite the charmer. “You are my best ever student,” he says, although it makes me question how much he’s had to drink, and how bad his other students were.

He explains many Egyptians, Nemo included, left London for Cairo to help their families during the revolution. And ›› only now, he tells me, is there a feeling of optimism in

The insider's guide Marta Krzeminska, 27, is the PR and marketing manager for RedSeaZone. We found out where she likes to let her hair down in El Gouna.

Where do you go to party?

There are parties going on every night. On Sundays, head to The Club House (elgounaclubhouse.com), where there’s a DJ and lights around the pool where you can swim at night. On Thursdays, I go to the openair cinema which is next to The Club House. Films are in Arabic with English subtitles. There is always a break in the middle of the movie when they play music and everyone can chat. It’s a really cool area with a big screen. You can smoke there, you can drink, you can always get a seat, so I really like it.

Where do you go in El Gouna to chill out?

You can go around the coast to relax on a catamaran (the Ocean Diva, orange-elgouna.com). They’ll give you champagne, while you listen to music, and you’ll hopefully get to see some dolphins. You can snorkel off the boat, and explore the stunning reefs and beautiful fish.

What is El Gouna’s best kept secret?

It’s really nice when there is a full moon and people do a nighttime kitesurfing session. You can go on trips around the nearby desert islands when you are an advanced kitesurfer. You need to be pretty experienced for this, though.

Where do you go for adventure?

For a real adrenaline rush, head to the desert for a quad biking safari, where you’ll watch the sunset from the mountains (alexsafarielgouna.com). This is a great place to meet Egyptians as well as other tourists, and smoke shisha. It really is a beautiful and romantic place.

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the country. Though the realities of Egypt’s revolution seem a million miles from El Gouna, the effects on tourism can still be felt – and seen – today. There is one main gate for tourists which is guarded 24 hours a day, and the town has its own police force. I haven’t felt in danger here, but the high levels of security are a reminder of the conflict that is still going on in the rest of the country.

Standing at the bar, I strike up a conversation with Mia, a friendly New Zealander in her early twenties. She says: “I’ve been a Goonie [El Gouna resident] for about seven months. I think this place makes you a little bit crazy, but in a good way. People always come back.”

Staring up at the million bright stars in the night sky above, with the Red Sea glistening like warm treacle behind us, and imagining a life kiting, I can understand why. ❚ Laura learned IKO levels 1 and 2 (International Kite Boarding Organisation) which costs £280pp, including equipment and 11 hours of tuition with RedSeaZone redseazone.com

Hold on tight: the writer learning the ropes

Scuba diving in El Gouna

BEST OF THE REST WATERSPORTS IN EL GOUNA There are plenty of other watersports on offer in El Gouna, so if you find kitesurfing too tough, try one of these other activities.

PARASAILING Take to the air parasailing for £24 per single 10-minute flight or £32 for a double flight, including up to an hour’s boat ride out to the parasailing site. orange-elgouna.com

Up in smoke: suck on a shisha pipe

WAKEBOARDING Wakeboarding sessions are 15 minutes, with one session costing £24 or three sessions at £22 each. orange-elgouna.com SCUBA DIVING Scuba diving is immensely popular along the Red Sea, thanks to the teeming life in its salty waters. Emperor Divers offers a PADI Open Water course for £266.40. emperordivers.com 84

Photos: Getty, Thinkstock, Laura Laker

CATAMARAN Three-hour day trips aboard 62ft catamaran Ocean Diva run 9am-12pm or 12.30pm-3.30pm, anchoring at a reef for snorkelling and swimming. Two-hour sunset cruises are available, departing one hour before sunset, including soft and alcoholic drinks and canapés. orange-elgouna.com

NEXT WEEK TNT Travel Show: The best deals from our travel event Flatbread served with a smile

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PARIS EASTER

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Accommodation or Coach

fr ÂŁ399

Race days out

Snowmad XMAS! Austria XMAS - 8 days

COMING UP FOR 2013!

Baguettes & Bubbles

fr ÂŁ399

IRELAND fr ÂŁ35

Turkey or Belgium

XMAS & NY Russia The SnowBall - 6 days

Cambridge - 1 day

Amsterdam Queens Day Coach

fr ÂŁ199

fr ÂŁ79

fr ÂŁ599

Full itineraries and tour information can be found on our website or by calling our RIĂ&#x20AC;FH )LUVW )HVWLYDO 7UDYHO 1RUWK (QG 5G /RQGRQ : (3 &ORVHVW 7XEH :HVW .HQVLQJWRQ

12/10/12 09:32:20

Hogmanay 4 Day EDINBURGH: 30 DEC - 2 JAN

TRAVEL

Packages from

£239

The biggest celebration of New Year in Europe and not to be missed! We’re Loony Dook specialists too. Coach from London or accom only - Hostel or Hotel.

Hogmanay 5 Day EDINBURGH: 29 DEC - 2 JAN

Packages from

£259

Leaving Saturday morning for this Epic New Years tour in Edinburgh.You’ll have time to sample Stirling Castle, the Torch Light Procession, the Street Party and Loony Dook!

Rugby Tour

NEW ZEALAND V WALES: 24 NOV

Packages from

£159

Day trips £159, coach transport, pre-game party and match tickets. See the RWC holders take on the giants of the Northern Hemisphere Rugby ! Book a SPACESHIP & 2 Match tickets for £375

XMAS Markets

BRUGGES: 8-9 DEC, 15-16 DEC

Packages from

£129

Join us in Brugges and Brussels for the XMAS markets,sip mulled wine,salivate over handmade chocolates and finish the day with a blonde beer! 2 or 3 day hotel/hostel options.

XMAS Egypt

XMAS AND NEW YEAR TOURS

Packages from

£299

Join us in the ancient land of the Pharaohs for a sunny XMAS and/or New Year in Egypt. 9-day and 14-day tour options.

Formerly

SUMMER TOURS

REUNION

21ST OCTOBER 2PM - TILL LATE THE ELK BAR , FUHAM HIGH RD SW6 DRINKS SPECIALS, MEAL SPECIAL XMAS TOUR GIVEAWAYS & MORE .....

firstfestivaltravel.com 020 7471 6417 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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europe

we

2011 TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS BEST EUROPEAN TOUR OPERATOR AS VOTED BY YOU

Egypt CHRISTMAS IN PARIS 4 DAYS £349

FESTIVE PARTY TREK 11 DAYS £699

DEPARTS LONDON 24 DECEMBER

(STUDENTS £674)

INCLUSIONS: Busabout Guide, Return coach and

DEPARTS 22 DECEMBER CZECH REPUBLIC, AUSTRIA, SLOVAKIA, HUNGARY & POLAND

ferry from London to Paris, 3 nights accommodation, 3 breakfasts, Welcome dinner and drink, Paris by night tour by coach, trip to Palace of Versailles with picnic lunch, Christmas dinner, bike tour and river cruise, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

20% * OFF

ONE-WAY EGYPT 10 DAYS SAVE £128 WAS £638 NOW £510 Cairo, Pyramids Of Giza, Valley Of The Kings & Dahab DEPARTS 27 OCT, 10, 24 NOV, 8, 22 DEC * Book by 28 OCT. Enter promocode ‘egypt’.

Morocco

OPTION 1: Prague to Krakow OPTION 2: Krakow to Prague

MARRAKECH & SAHARA 8 DAYS £574 Marrakech, Gorge Du Dades, Todra Gorge, Sahara Desert Camel Trek & Ouarzazate DEPARTS 20, 27 OCT, 10, 24, NOV, 8, 23 DEC

INCLUSIONS: All transportation with Busabout Guide, 10 nights accommodation and breakfasts, Tour of Auschwitz and Birkenau, Walking tour of Krakow, Christmas and Christmas Eve dinner, Vienna Schnapps museum, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

MARRAKECH ENCOMPASSED 15 DAYS £834 Marrakech, Rabat, Meknes, Chefchaouen, Fes, Mildelt, Sahara Desert Camel Trek , Ait Benhaddou & Essaouira DEPARTS 20 OCT, 3, 17 NOV, 1, 23 DEC

NEW YEAR IN AMSTERDAM 4 DAYS £369 DEPARTS LONDON 30 DECEMBER INCLUSIONS: Busabout Guide, Return coach

and ferry from London to Amsterdam, 3 nights accommodation, 3 breakfasts, 1 dinner, orientation walk of Amsterdam town and country bike tour, canal cruise around Amsterdam, FREE Lonely Planet guidebook

TNT TRAVEL SHOW SATURDAY 27 OCTOBER

NEWS & VIEWS

FOLLOW US

WATCH CLIPS

/BUSABOUTeurope

@busabout

/BusaboutTV

VISIT US AT STAND 9 FOR INCREDIBLE DEALS FOR 2013 TRAVEL

TAKE A TRADITIONAL CROATIAN CRUISER WITH ITS LOCAL CREW, THE WARM, CRYSTAL CLEAR WATERS OF THE ADRIATIC, A BUNCH OF TRAVELLERS SEEKING FUN AND ADVENTURE AND ADD A BUSABOUT GUIDE. THE RESULT? ONLY ONE OF THE BEST WEEKS OF YOUR LIFE…..

Croatia Island Hopper 8 DAYS FROM £383 Departs Split (May – September)

ay On e-Wers!

Pio n e

Croatia One-Way Sail

8 DAYS FROM £398 Departs Split or Dubrovnik (May – September)

08450 267 514 TNT_1520_Travel.indd 98

Highlights s Anchor up and jump off the boat into the Adriatic

s Sit back with a local beer and s s s

watch the yachts come in at Hvar Sipping cocktails at the top of a 14th century tower in Krocula Hike to a pirate fortress for panoramic views of Dalmatia Captain the Pirate Cruiser as it sails along the Dalmatian coast

INCLUSIONS: 7 nights’ accommodation, 7 breakfasts, 7 lunches, fuel supplement, island orientation walks, orientations of Split and Dubrovnik, English speaking Busabout Guide and expert local crew.

www.busabout.com

20% * F OF AVE

S 163 UP TO £partures.

13 de * Valid on all 20e ‘earlybird2013’. od oc Enter prom T. Book by 28 OC

info@busabout.com 12/10/12 09:33:08

Scotland, Wales, Cornwall & Ireland

SAVE UP TO £

* Valid on all 2012 departures. Book by 28 OCT. Enter promocode ‘autumnsale’

DOING IT ONCE?

DO IT RIGHT PASSIONATE LOCAL SCOTTISH GUIDES

plu ENG s L & WA AND LES

FREE

LONELY PLANET GUIDEBOOK

GUARANTEED DEPARTURES

“THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE” @adventurouskate

5

HIGHLAND FLING DAYS (MON ) £189 NOW £161 (STUDENTS NOW £152) Loch Ness, Isle of Skye & North West Highlands

3

SKYE HIGH DAYS (MON, WED, FRI & SAT) £115 NOW £98 (STUDENTS NOW £93) Isle of Skye, Loch Ness & Glencoe

TRAVEL

15% OFF 28

*

FESTIVE HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS & HOGMANAY Our Legendary Festive trips! Experience a Scottish Christmas in a Royal Highland Hotel.

&HUWL¿FDWH RI ([FHOOHQFH 2012

MEGA HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS

Haggis Day Adventures

£439 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 5 DAYS

All accommodation and breakfasts / Packed lunches on 25th and 26th December / Mulled wine on arrival to the Royal Highland Hotel / Christmas Eve dinner and exclusive night club entry / Christmas dinner and wine / A traditional Scottish Ceilidh

INCLUSIONS:

STUDENT DISCOUNTS PREFERRED BY STA TRAVEL & FLIGHT CENTRE GLOBALLY JOIN US

FOLLOW US

/HAGGiSadventures

@HAGGiSadventures

ROYAL HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS £315 DEPART EDINBURGH 24 DECEMBER - 3 DAYS INCLUSIONS:

As per 5 Day Mega Highland Christmas

HOGMANAY & HIGHLANDS £409 DEPARTS EDINBURGH 7 DAYS OPTION 1 – 27 DECEMBER Highlands then Hogmanay OPTION 2 – 29 DECEMBER Hogmanay then Highlands

2 nights hostel shared dorm on tour and 4 nights hostel shared dorm Edinburgh / 3 day Skye High adventure / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night INCLUSIONS:

SLEEP WITH US FOR FREE *Valid on all 2012 3 Day departures. Book by 28 OCT. Enter promocode ‘freebeds

ALL IRELAND ROCKER 7 DAYS (Mon) £315 (Students £299)

FREE STUFF WORTH UP TO

€66

*

WE’ll PAY FOR YOUR ACCOMMODATION ON YOUR 3 DAY TRIP

SOUTHERN ROCKER * 3 DAYS (Fri) £125 (Students £119) BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY & DINGLE Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY, INIS MÓR, GIANT’S CAUSEWAY & BELFAST

CELTIC WEEKENDER 2 DAYS (Sat)

Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle, Cliffs of Moher, Giant’s Causeway & Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

BLARNEY CASTLE, ENNIS, CLIFFS OF MOHER, GALWAY

EDINBURGH HOGMANAY £349 EDINBURGH 29 DECEMBER - 5 DAYS

4 nights hostel shared dorm / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / Highland Day trip / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook

INCLUSIONS:

HAGGIS HOGMANAY £349 DEPARTS LONDON 30 DECEMBER - 4 DAYS

Return coach travel from London / All accommodation / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook

INCLUSIONS:

£79 (Students £75) Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

CELTIC ROCKER 5 DAYS (Mon) £215 (Students £205) BLARNEY CASTLE, CLIFFS OF MOHER, KILLARNEY, INIS MÓR/CONNEMARA Includes FREE entry to: Blarney Castle & Cliffs of Moher

FREE LONELY PLANET GUIDE

TNT_1520_Travel.indd 99

TEL: 08450 267 507 INFO@SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM

WWW.SHAMROCKERADVENTURES.COM

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

99

12/10/12 09:33:16

TRAVEL

RUGBY UNION WALLABIES & ALL BLACKS COME TO EUROPE THIS NOVEMBER N AUS v FRANCE Paris SAT 10 NOV fr£189 N AUS v ENGLAND Twickenham SAT 17 NOV £85 N AUS v ITALY Florence SAT 24 NOV £139 N AUS v WALES Cardiff SAT 1 DEC £139 N NZ v WALES Cardiff SAT 24 NOV £149 ✔ Match tickets ✔ Accom ✔ Transfers ✔ Merchandise

FOOTBALL ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE GET BEHIND MARK SCHWARZER AND THE SW6 BOYS! N Fulham FC v Aston Villa SAT 20 OCT £38 N Fulham FC v Everton SAT 3 NOV ON SALE SOON N Fulham FC v Sunderland SUN 18 NOV ON SALE SOON N Fulham FC v Tottenham SAT 1 DEC ON SALE SOON

PADDY’S DAY CELEBRATE PADDY’S DAY IN DUBLIN! N 3 Nights Dublin 15-18 MAR £189 ✔ Three nights hostel ✔ Guinness tour ✔ Paddy’s Day Parade

HOGMANAY EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY!

30 DEC-2 JAN £239/269 N 4 Day Coach/Hostel Tour 30 DEC-2 JAN £309 N 3 Night Hostel / Hotel

✔ Accom ideally located in the absolute heart of town ✔ Edinburgh street party pass ✔ Superb pubs, bars & clubs ✔ Funky tour t-shirt ✔ Experienced Fanatics tour reps

SANTA PUB CRAWL ANNUAL XMAS PUB CRAWL

SUN 9 DEC £29

✔ Private red double-decker party bus ✔ Discount drinks ✔ Multiple pub stops ✔ Santa suit & hat included ✔ Group Santa photos at London’s most famous sites

CROATIA EARLY BIRD SPECIAL ON OUR 2013 TOURS !

ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS

GALLIPOLI TOURS N 3 Day Tour 24-26 APR £199 N 4 Day Tour 23-26 APR £239 N 5 Day Tour 22-26 APR £279 N 8/9 Day Tours 18-26 APR or 22-29 APR £399 N 15/16 Day Tours 11-26 APR or 22 APR-6 MAY £599 WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian Battlefields + Anzac Day Services N Eurostar Tour 24-26 APR £299 N Make Own Way 24-26 APR £279 ✔ Somme ✔ Villers-Bretonneaux ✔ Ypres ✔ Fromelles

SUPERIOR CATEGORY BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES! JUN-SEP fr£349 N 7 NIGHTS WE SAIL CROATIA’S BEST ISLANDS & ROUTE! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Korcula ✔ Vela Luca ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac

JUN fr£389 JUL fr£379 AUG fr£399 SEP fr£349

PAMPLONA EARLY BIRD SPECIAL ON OUR 2013 TOURS ! N Camping Pamplona or San Sebastian 4 Days 4-15 JUL £159 N Barcelona + Pamplona Fiesta 2-8 JUL £349 N Ibiza + Pamplona Combo 5-11 JUL £399 N San Sebastian + Pamplona 3-8 or 5-10 JUL fr £239 N Coach Tours 6,7 or 8 Days Depart 3 or 4 JUL fr £279

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm

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TRAVEL

10th

Annual

D THE ST AN E G G I B , THE GINAL I R O HE ST...T SKIFE

0m 18050m 27 nteed a Guarnow!

S

BEST!

2 1 0 2 S hristmas A c e it h w M X the ultimate NE W YE AR’S NYE higher than Kosciusko!

XMAS & NYE COMBO

NYE – COACH TOUR

■ SKIFEST XMAS + PARIS NYE 21 DEC-1 JAN

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS 28 DEC-5 JAN

✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ 3 Nights Paris ✔ Coach London-Risoul-Paris-London

■ 9DAYTOUR (self-cater) ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ 6 days skiing

XMAS – COACH TOUR

NYE – FLIGHT TOUR

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS 21-29 DEC

■ 7DAYTOUR

£649 (self-cater) £729 (all-inclusive)

£449

£529

(all-inc) (self-cater) ■ 9DAYTOUR ✔ Depart London Friday evening ✔ Gets back SAT 29 DEC ✔ 6 days skiing

£569 (all-inc)

29 DEC-4 JAN

oul!

NYE in Ris

£649 (self-cater) £729 (all-inclusive) NYE – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY ■ 8DAYTOUR

XMAS – FLIGHT TOUR

29 DEC-5 JAN

£409 (self-cater) £489 (all-inclusive)

RISOUL, FRENCH ALPS 22-29 DEC ■ 8DAYTOUR

£489

rs Day! o New Yea Going retr

£589 (self-cater) £669 (all-inc)

XMAS – MAKE YOUR OWN WAY ■ 8DAYTOUR 22-29 DEC

£369 (self-cater) £449 (all-inclusive)

UNBEATABLE VALUE SUPERB GROUP ATMOSPHERE! !

TOP QUALITY SNOW

SKIFEST PRICE INCLUDES ✔ Return transport from London ✔ Optional b’fast & dinner daily in resort £80 ✔ Ski lift pass ✔ Ski/Snowboard hire ✔ Skifest merchandise ✔ Legendary Skifest parties & theme nights ✔ Amazing Xmas & NYE celebrations

Unbeatable skiing

OUR SKI RESORT & ACCOM ✔ Self-contained apartments (sleeps 2-6) ✔ Balcony, kitchen, ensuite bathroom & WC ✔ High altitude resort 1,850m-2,750m ✔ Top quality snow & over 150km of piste ✔ Ski runs literally at our door step ✔ Funky resort bars, shops & restaurants

st!

Xmas Day @ Skife

Know before you go..... ✔ All Fanatics tours stay in self contained apartments ✔ We DO NOT use complexes designed for schools and youth groups ✔ We only use high altitude resorts with outstanding snow records www.thefanatics.com

BOOK ONLINE NOW!

www.skifest.co.uk or call 0207 240 3223

COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon-Fri 9am-6pm TNTMAGAZINE.COM 101

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EGYPT

& THE MIDDLE EAST UP TO Dep. 11 Nov 2012

Dep. 11 Dec 2012

Dep. 24 Nov 2012

WAS £650

WAS £760

WAS £620

£579

Includes US$270 local payment

£705

Includes US$345 local payment

NOW

7 DAY Jordan Adventure

NOW

19 DAY Ultimate Egypt

NOW

10 DAY Spirit of Egypt

15% OFF

£570

Includes US$200 local payment

Christmas in the Sun? Book Now! Dep. 16 Dec 2012

Dep. 25 Dec 2012

£1789

ONLY

13 DAY Pharaohs’ Footsteps

ONLY

20 DAY Egypt, Jordan & Israel

£659

8 DAY Nile Discovery

8 DAY Essential Egypt

Dep. 23 Dec 2012

Dep. 25 Dec 2012

£595

Includes US$210 local payment

ONLY

Includes US$280 local payment

ONLY

Includes US$345 local payment

£466

Includes US$180 local payment

12 DAY Festive Pharaohs ONLY

Dep. 22 Dec 2012

£265

Includes Christmas Dinner & Party in Dahab and New Year’s Eve ‘Desert Party’ in a Bedouin tent!

L8291 / Y2992

TNT_1520_Travel.indd 102

CALL 0845 257 5210

NEW TRIP

* a E t fl

Open 8am-9pm

12/10/12 09:33:45

2 Day Brugge Christmas Markets

4 Day Brugge Christmas

4 Day Paris Christmas

24-27 Dec 2012

24-27 Dec 2012

8–9, 15-16 & 22-23 Dec 2012 There’s no better way to experience a winter Christmas than taking in the sights, sounds and smells of the famous Brugge Christmas Markets for the weekend.

Spend your Christmas visiting one of Europe’s hidden gems – Brugge! Explore the amazing architecture, see the meandering canals and sample some delicious Belgian specialities of chocolate, waffles and beer! We even take a day trip to Belgium’s capital, Brussels.

From the Eiffel Tower, to the Louvre museum, the famed French food and the amazing Parisian cabarets, the sights and sounds of Paris will stay with you long after your Christmas feasts have been eaten!

What’s Included: 1 breakfast, 1 dinner, 1 night multishare hostel accommodation, return coach from London including ferry crossings, walking tour of Brugge, European trained Topdeck Trip Leader.

What’s Included: 3 breakfasts, 3 nights multi-share hostel accommodation, Belgian Christmas lunch, return coach from London including ferry crossings, walking tours of Brugge & Brussels, European trained Topdeck Trip Leader.

What’s Included: 3 breakfasts, 1 dinner, French Christmas lunch, 3 nights multi-share hotel accommodation, return coach from London including ferry crossings, Seine River Cruise, ‘City Lights’ tour of Paris, European trained Topdeck Trip Leader & Driver.

£159 per person

£249 per person

£269

4 Day Paris New Year

4 Day Amsterdam New Year

4 Day Hogmanay Edinburgh

29 Dec 2012 - 1 Jan 2013

30 Dec 2012 – 2 Jan 2013

Ring in the New Year in one of the most famous cities in Europe. Alternatively, you could cruise along the waters of Amsterdam’s famous canal network, or enjoy a night in the equally as famous (and utterly bonkers) Red Light district!

Join the world’s most famous New Year celebrations with Topdeck at Hogmanay in Edinburgh! This huge street party gets more popular each year, and Edinburgh never fails to disappoint.

29 Dec 2012 – 1 Jan 2013 Whether you want to sip champagne in the French capital, walk along the Seine with the locals, or gather for a midnight party at the Arc de Triomphe, Paris has it all! Bonne Année 2013!

What’s Included: 3 breakfasts, 1 dinner, 3 nights multi-share hotel accommodation, return coach from London including ferry crossings, Seine River Cruise, ‘City Lights’ tour of Paris, European trained Topdeck Trip Leader & Driver.

£289

per person

What’s Included: 3 breakfasts, 3 nights multi-share hostel accommodation, New Year’s Eve drinks, snacks & fireworks party, return coach from London including ferry crossings, canal cruise dinner, orientation tour of Amsterdam, Topdeck Trip Leader & Driver.

£279

per person

Check out our NEW 11 Day Festive Escape trip.

Includes Cologne, Baden-Baden, Berlin, Amsterdam & Paris!

*Terms and conditions apply. Prices quoted are for specific departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off the base trip price only, and do not apply to food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.618, which must be paid locally in USD. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency fluctuations, depending when payment is made. See online for full terms and conditions.

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TRAVEL

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS IN EUROPE per person

What’s Included: 3 breakfasts, 3 nights accommodation in multi-share hotel, return coach from London, Hogmanay Street Party ticket, Edinburgh City Tour, ½ day trip to Stirling Castle, trip t-shirt, Topdeck trip leader.

£339

per person

ter Plus loads more win .. e. trips onlin

TNTMAGAZINE.COM 103

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TRAVEL

Next Stop?

CHEAPEST VACCINATIONS ONLINE VACCINATION SEARCH NO CONSULTATION FEE! Swapping the concrete jungle for the real thing?

1st Contact Travel Clinic can take care of all your travel health needs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with free advice plus vaccinations, tablets and accessories. Low prices, online vaccination search, same day appointments & free consultation.

0808 141 2324

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41400

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TRAVEL

Saturday 27 October

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS

Business Design Centre Islington 9.30am - 5.30pm

WEEKEND BREAKS PARIS BY EUROSTAR from £225 26th October, 9th & 23rd November. Return Eurostar travel & transfers, 2 nights B&B hotel accom, guided city sightseeing tour, plenty of free time & Tour Manager.

HOLLAND & BELGIUM from £171 19th Oct, 16th Nov, 7th Dec. Return coach & ferry travel, visit to Amsterdam & Brugge, B&B + dinner & free bar hotel accom.

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