TNT Magazine / Issue 1543

March 25-31 2013 Issue 1543 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

TICKETS TO BILBAO BBK LIVE MUSIC FESTIVAL IN SPAIN!

MEETING THE QUEEN Director Danny Boyle speaks out

SUNSHINE BREAKS Where to escape the grey ‘n’ gloom

GET ANZAC DAY BOOKED Planning your Turkey pilgrimage

BITE ME

N O D N O L N I R EASTE eekend w y a d ru fo e fun over th h s li g n E g n fi jolly spif How to have + COASTING IN CORNWALL LONDON MARATHON OZ RACING DRIVER TANIA MANN TRAVEL DEALS

ISSUE 1543 / £1.95

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14/02/2013 11:25:07

LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Ticking off the best of British clichés is one of the joys of spending time in London, be that holing up in a pub to sink pints of warm beer or absorbing the resulting damage with a greasy full English. And as the four-day weekend looms, with one of the greatest of British institutions – The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race – taking place on the Sunday, what better time could there be to go out and get spiffing? See our complete guide to jolly good English fun on P8 and start ticking.

THIS WEEK

LONDONDIARY

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LONDONNEWS

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DRINK & EATS @TNT

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SPOTTED

15

LONDON SOUND

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COMPETITION

18

CHATROOM TOM STADE

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LONDON SCENE

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FEATURES

LONDON FOCUS

22

EASTER WEEKEND SORTED 8

SPARE TIME

26

Choose between The Boat or The Goat Race, plus more for a smashing ol’ time

LIFESTYLE

Photos: Tyson Benson; Getty

12 &13

28-33

8

HEALTH

28

MEET DANNY BOYLE

MONEY

31

LIVING

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The director on his latest film, Trance, and working with Her Madge at the Games

NEWS & SPORT

34-44

TRAVEL

47-67

DIARY

48

NEWS

49

UK TRIP

50

LATE DEALS

52

HOTSHOTS

53

TOP FIVE

54

TIPS

56

CLASSIFIEDS DESPERATELY SEEKING

68-89 90

DRIVING FORCE

22

22

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TNT chats to Aussie racing driver Tania Mann, who’s been tearing up UK tracks

CORNISH COAST

50

Why even a shell full of spunk isn’t enough to put us off a weekend in Cornwall

SUNNY GETAWAYS

58

Where to catch some rays if you’re eager to escape the capital at Easter

TOP TURKEY

62

Everything you need to know about your own ultimate Anzac Day pilgrimage

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Editorial Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Travel Helen Elfer Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Contributor Daisy Carrington

LONDONDIARY

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Design and production Head of design and production Jon Cooke Design / picture editor Patricia Montenegro

Sales Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Sales executive Nichole Davis Sales administrator Abby Nightingale marketing & events Marketing and events executive Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Margaret Roberts | Suzanne Welsh tnt MULTIMEDIA LTD CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Publisher TNT Multimedia Limited Distribution Emblem Direct Ltd Printed by Wyndeham Peterborough Limited News AAP SAPA NZPA Pictures Getty Images, TNT Images, Thinkstock TNT Magazine , 111 Cannon Street, London EC4N 5AR tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7953 8469 Fax 020 7953 7957 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com sales enquiries

Phone 020 7989 0567 Email sales@tntmagazine.com Where to get TNT

cover price: £1.95 where sold See tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online Subscriptions and Distribution Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

Time of your life: sing and dance along to best-ever party flicks in the East End

Shhh... SECRET LONDON the easter film hop shoreditch

It’s like watching a movie, only without the sitting down and watching it part. What do we mean? This car park-based weekend of movie magic has three films on the big screen – a sing-a-long to Grease (Mar 29); a dance-a-long to Dirty Dancing (Mar 30); and a concert-style screening of Purple Rain (Mar 31). You then get some wireless headphones so you can dance, sing and go mental along with these cine-classics with a dressing up box to aid your immersion. After that there’s a silent disco as well. Top tunes and top movies. Get in! £15

Mar 29, 30 & 31. 4pm-10pm The Book Club, EC2A 4RH

00 4

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experiencecinema.com

king of kong documentary

breton: photo exhib & show

holi fest at cinammon

The Vanishing Point screened Assault On Precinct 13 in an old police station and The Omen in a 19th-century church crypt.

Now they bring ace gaming doco, King Of Kong – A Fistful Of Quarters, about two warring Donkey Kong players, to Retro Game Base.

Get your geek on with this heart-warming movie about joystick competition.

It would be easy to hate indie band-cumvisual artists Breton. But the truth is, their debut, Other People’s Problems, was pretty fucking ace. This photo exhibition, Escalation, at Proud Camden continues to “describe narratives, art and people around us,” says frontman Roman Rappak.

They’ll open it with a live show, too.

Loads of places are offering menus for the Indian Holi fest, a colourful celebration marking spring on March 28.

Our pick though has to be Cinammon, whose Kitchen, Club and (third and latest, Cinnamon) Soho venues have all got superb Indian menus that cater for spice lovers of all budgets, with cocktails galore, too.

Mar 30, 7.30pm Streatham SW16 3PX thevanishingpoint.org.uk

Mar 28-31, 11am-6pm NW1 8AH Camden Town proudcamden.com

Mar 18-30, times vary Cinnamon Soho, W1B 5PF Tot Crt Rd cinnamonsoho.com

£10

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

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Represent your country

Wine or water: not messiahs, but maybe very naughty boys and girls

CHRISTATHON Borough

Awesome tours What are you going to do this Easter to celebrate Christ’s death? (Is celebrate really the right word?)

Stuff yourself full of chocolate eggs? Enjoy the four-day weekend? Or go mad dressed like the beardy man on this son of our Lord-themed pub crawl? If you want to do the latter – and why the hell wouldn’t you? – get down to this annual Crucifixion-themed dress-up party.

FREE

Mar 31, from 2.30pm Meet at The Trinity, SE1 1JX

Borough

koobaradio.co.uk/christathon

SOUZOU: JAPAN OUTSIDER ART

THE GET BACK BEATLES

More than 300 art works, from famous and unknown artists, come together for this exploration of Japanese culture, memory and creativity. It’s the last exhibition at the Wellcome gallery before a boastful £17.5m redevelopment, which is due to be done in time for summer next year.

With one of the best back catalogues known to the musical world, The Beatles are never going to stop being everyone’s favourite band. The Get Back Beatles smash through the Fab Four’s most popular Sixties tunes, while capturing their youthful exuberance and spirit of the decade of miniskirts and counter-culture chic.

FREE

Mar 28-Jun 30. 10am-6pm (til 10pm Thur; open 11am Sun) 183 Euston Rd, NW1 2BE Euston Square wellcomecollection.org.uk

Weekend festivals

Weekly after match socials

£10

Mar 28, 7pm Floridita, W1F 0TN Oxford Circus floriditalondon.com

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LONDONNEWS WINEHOUSE STATUE PLAN FOR CAMDEN A life-size bronze statue of Londoner Amy Winehouse is to be erected in Camden to commemorate the singer.

Plans are afoot to have the Amy Winehouse Memorial Statue installed at the Roundhouse live music venue on Chalk Farm Road, about a mile from the Camden Square home in which the soul star died from alcohol poisoning in 2011.

The statue will see Winehouse sporting her trademark beehive hairdo in addition to a vintage-style dress. Her father Mitch said: “Amy was a wonderful person, who did a lot for Camden ... why shouldn’t we put a statue up?”

I have more chance of being reincarnated as an olive London mayor Boris Johnson’s response to London school pupils who grilled him on whether he wants to become prime minister

NAPALM DEATH GIG AT V&A MUSEUM IS TOAST A gig planned by death metal band Napalm Death to be held in the genteel surrounds of London’s Victoria and Albert Museum has been cancelled amid fears the noise would cause damage.

According to the BBC, the V&A was concerned that noise from the heavy rockers would damage the building and the museum axed the gig after consulting safety inspectors. A cancellation notice was posted on its website.

ON THE TUBE THIS WEEKEND’S CLOSURES/WORKS

JUBILEE: No service between Stanmore

and West Hampstead on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Rail replacement buses operate.

METROPOLITAN: No service between

Aldgate and Uxbridge/Rickmansworth/ Croxley on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Rail replacement buses operate.

NORTHERN: No service between

Edgware and Kennington via Bank on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Rail replacement buses operate.

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@tntmagazine

Score: West Ham Utd have been named as future tenants of London’s Olympic Stadium, and will kick off the 2016/17 season in their new home in Stratford

Aussie Easter invasion Strength of the Oz dollar sees rush from Down Under to London

An Aussie invasion of London has been predicted for the upcoming Easter weekend after the Australian dollar hit a 28-year high against the British pound.

The strength of the Aussie dollar resulted in London hitting the numberone spot for international Easter holiday destinations among Australians this year, according to travel agent travel.com.au.

“London is consistently in our top five but recent statistics show that it’s become number one, particularly over the Easter period,” travel.com.au’s general manager Renee Welsh told The Australian.

“It was always an expensive trip when the Australian dollar wasn’t as competitive but it’s an amazing opportunity now.”

Tour operator Trafalgar’s managing

director Matt Cameron-Smith confirmed the spike, telling The Australian that there had been a 35 per cent rise in bookings for its guided holidays to the UK in the past six months, compared to the same period in the previous year.

“There’s no doubt the UK is the best value it’s been in many, many years,” Cameron-Smith added.

It’s certainly a great time of year to get a taste of English tradition in London, as the Oxford & Cambridge Boat Race takes place along the Thames on Easter Sunday.

There’s also the lesser heard of Oxford & Cambridge Goat Race to get stuck into – more info on P8.

Last year Aussies took around 490,000 trips to the UK, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (Arrivals and Departures).

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

In more Olympics-themed news (see picture, above), The Museum of London is set to reflect on 2012’s summer of sport with a free exhibition launching on March 28.

Opening The Olympics will showcase 70 objects, outfits and personal accounts from the London Games, with pieces including Tom Daley’s Union Jack swimming trunks and the yellow jersey which Bradley Wiggins wore in the opening ceremony making the cut.

There’ll also be a collection of costumes from the opening and closing ceremonies, highlights of which include an NHS nurse’s uniform, a dress from the swinging Sixties scene, and an Olympic torch.

More info at museumoflondon.org.uk.

Tight: see Tom’s trunks

Photos: Getty

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22/03/2013 16:54:45

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Ready, steady, goat: Cambridge in the lead

Goat vs Boat Race Two London events go head-to-head this weekend to showcase the best of British tradition – and silliness words LAURA CHUBB & MICHAEL GADD Not only is Easter ace because we get a four-day weekend, but Easter Sunday – March 31 – will host two of the more quintessentially British events you could hope to say “jolly splendid!” to.

One is the model of English tradition, The Oxford & Cambridge Boat Race, while its rival, The Oxford & Cambridge Goat Race, dishes out GB eccentricity.

Saddling up for Oxford on the Thames is Kiwi Sam O’Connor, the 10th ever New Zealander to compete in The Boat Race, going for the 159th time.

The 25-year-old never thought it possible for a kid from Christchurch to contest such a famous race. “It wasn’t really on my radar until I went to Harvard and knew people in it,” he says of the traditional crossover US Ivy Leaguers make to their UK equivalent.

“Since I’ve been here, I understand how big it is, doing the weigh-in with a big media presence and photographers snapping away,” the 2006 world junior champion says.

Hardly a toff, as is the clichéd image of Russell Group college rowers, O’Connor drove trucks and forklifts before he took up top level study. He’s even lucky to be here, after he was hit 8

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by a car while cycling, putting him out of rowing for a year. A couple of years on, though, and he’s raring for the big race. Asked why it’s so special, he says originality and history. “It’s different from any other regatta – it’s head-tohead, win or lose, no second chances.”

While the banks of the Thames along the 6.8km course will be packed, a slightly newer English institution, The Goat Race, will enter into its fifth year of general lunacy at Spitalfields City Farm.

Co-founder Anthony Goh (so close!) admits it started as a silly conversation at the pub, but has gone on to become a sell-out event. Punters can expect a ‘pogoat’ race and a freestyle ‘gotocross’ comp alongside the main race, plus live bands, DJs, and food and booze from the likes of Meantime and Tongue ‘n’ Cheek (the latter being a street food outfit serving “more sustainable meat cuts” – see the name).

“The Goat Race is less likely to be sabotaged,” reasons Goh when we ask why folks should plump for this over the rowing, referencing last year when Aussie Trenton Oldfield jumped in the river and stopped The Boat Race. “It’s a different crowd; it’s more inclusive. But

really it comes down to whether you prefer men in boats or goats.”

Cambridge has won every Goat Race so far, but Oxford has a fresh chance this year thanks to a change in crew. First-year winner Barney has been brought back for Cambridge and will go head-to-head with a new athlete, fellow pygmy goat Edith, racing for Oxford. “Pygmy goats are much faster, so this is going to be a more unpredictable race,” Goh promises.

The race raises funds for the farm, hidden behind Brick Lane in east London. “It’s a great community project,” says Goh. “And a chance to see what happens when a pun gets totally out of control.”

And there’s no need to limit having lots of jolly good fun to Easter Sunday, there’s four days – Friday to Monday – to fill with fun times. Here’s our ultimate list of oh-so British things to see and do in London. Pip pip, cheerio!

MORE BEST OF BRITISH ›› The Boat Race. March 31. Putney to Mortlake.

4.30pm. theboatrace.org The Goat Race. March 31. Doors 1pm, race 4.30pm. £5. Buxton Street, E1 5AR Shoreditch High Street thegoatrace.org

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End of Season Special Pull: Kiwi Sam O’Connor rows for Oxford

25th March – 1st April

EASTER BREAK Now only £245 1st April – 8th April

END OF SEASON SPECIAL Close call: it’s going off at Spitalfields City Farm

7 NIGHTS now HALF PRICE £139 Insane Snow + Wicked Crew + Filthy Price

You’d be mad to miss it

Winners: Cambridge celebrate last year’s win

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best ye olde sweet shop hope and greenwood, east dulwich Looking every inch the old-school sweet shop with its candystriped canopy and classic goodies in jars, this ‘best of British’ confectioner dishes out traditional Brit sweets from way back when, including the likes of cherry Bakewell fudge and Gobstoppers.

best full english breakfast bill’s, soho Classier than your average greasy spoon, Bill’s does the traditional fry-up with quality ingredients – think flavour-packed Cumberland sausages and expertly smoked streaky bacon.

Go uber-English and add on a side of bubble and squeak for £1.50. £7.95

£2.50+

Mon-Sat, 10am-6pm; Sun, 11am-5pm 20 North Cross Road, SE22 9EU East Dulwich hopeandgreenwood.co.uk

BEST FISH AND CHIPS Kerbisher & Malt, hammersmith

Mon-Fri, 8am-12pm; Sat, 8am1pm; Sun, 9am-1pm 36-44 Brewer Street, W1F 9TB Piccadilly Circus bills-website.co.uk

Banishing the all too common disappointment of floppy fish and soggy chips that stick to the paper, Kerbisher & Malt does a fine job of rescuing the reputation of Brit fish and chips, serving what we think is the city’s finest – think melt in the mouth fish and perfect crunchy/fluffy fries. £7.60+

Tue-Thur, 12pm-2.30pm & 4.30pm-10pm; Fri-Sat, 12pm-10pm; Sun, 12pm-9pm; closed Mondays 164 Shepherd’s Bush Road, W6 7PB Hammersmith; Goldhawk Road kerbisher.co.uk

best british beer the old brewery, greenwich Think British ale just means warm, flat and brown? Get enlightened at The Old Brewery, where the bar serves a great range of the Meantime Brewing Company’s produce – and seeing as these guys brew more varieties than any other UK brewery, that’s a lot to choose from. Try anything from chocolate porter to raspberry wheat beer and Meantime London Pale Ale. Trust us, these are craft brews at their best, and you’ll more than likely find your new favourite pint here. Coopers? Pah! £4.20+

Mon-Sat, 11am-11pm; Sun, 12pm-10.30pm The Pepys Building, The Old Royal Naval College, SE10 9LW Cutty Sark oldbrewerygreenwich.com

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BEST CUPPA TEASMITH, SPITALFIELDS

best bangers and mash mother mash, central london

The Brits take their tea seriously, and never more so than at Teasmith, where you can pull up a pew at the tea bar and choose brews based on how you feel, discover a whole bunch of new teas, or try the tea tasting menu for £20.

Find out just how good sausages and spuds can taste at this ace joint, where you can mix and match from a list of bangers, mash and gravy.

There are some great Brit puds to round off with, too.

Daily, 11am-6pm 6 Lamb Street, E1 6EA Liverpool Street teasmith.co.uk

Daily, 8.30am ‘til late 26 Ganton Street, W1F 7QZ Oxford Circus mothermash.co.uk

best working men’s club bethnal green

best british icon sherlock holmes museum, baker st

These relics of industrial England remain in pockets of the country, with the strangest this in Bethnal Green, which also hosts trendy club nights.

An essential London experience is checking out the digs of fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, who lived at this well preserved address.

Times vary depending on event 42-44 Pollard Row, E2 6NB Bethnal Green workersplaytime.net

Daily, 9.30am-6pm 221b Baker Street, NW1 6XE Baker Street sherlock-holmes.co.uk

£3.50+

£5+

£7.50+

£8

best british accessory james smith & sons, new oxford street If there’s one thing you absolutely cannot survive without in England, it’s an umbrella (or, to give it a proper English name, a ‘brolly’). To get your hands on a really great British brolly, step back in time at James Smith & Sons, where the shop has remained near unaltered for 140 years (the shop front and fittings are classically Victorian). The company’s rep for exquisite designs has stayed similarly in tact over time, so if you want to stay dry like a real English gent or lady, make a stop here. £49.95+

Mon-Fri, 10am-6pm; Sat, 10am5.30pm; closed Sun Hazelwood House, 53 New Oxford Street, WC1A 1BL Tottenham Court Road james-smith.co.uk

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BEST JELLIED EELS M. MANZE, PECKHAM

BEST OF BRITPOP THE BORDERLINE, CENTRAL LONDON £5+ For London’s most quintessentially English night out, get on down to The Borderline, which has been kicking out its Christmas Club indie night for 24 years (it’s the longest-running indie night in the city). Expect sweaty single men dancing earnestly to Blur and Oasis like the Nineties never ended, and seriously cheap drinks (Becks is £2.20, score).

Sat, 11pm-4am Orange Yard, off Manette Street, W1D 4JB Tottenham Court Road mamacolive.com/theborderline

This traditional East End dish (below) probably couldn’t sound less appetising, but for a taste of 18th-century London – when the supercheap staple kept poorer Londoners fed – you should try them at M. Manze, which first opened in 1902. If you really can’t face the thought of chopped eels boiled in a spiced stock and then allowed to cool and set into a jelly (come on, yum), order the pie and mash instead. £3.60

best english country stroll richmond park, richmond It’s hard to get a feel for the English countryside in London – the grey urbanity hardly lives up to that whole “green and pleasant land” tag – but it’s not impossible. Head to the sprawling Richmond Park for a refreshing stroll and feel like you’re a million miles from the Big Smoke – there’s deer, miles of greenery and pretty ponds.

FREE

Mon, 11am-2pm; Tue-Thur, 10.30am-2pm; Fri, 10am-2.30pm; Sat, 10am-2.45pm, closed Sun 105 High Street, SE15 5RS Peckham Rye manze.co.uk

Daily, 7.30am-5.45pm Various Richmond royalparks.org.uk

best cricket green mitcham Ah, the smack of leather on willow, gents in their whites, nodding off over a Pimm’s ... the village cricket green is a British icon and you can find the oldest one still in use in Mitcham (it dates back to 1685). The Aussies practiced here while on tour in the 19th century.

FREE

Photos: Ben Mason; Tyson Benson; Getty; Thinkstock

BEST AFTERNOON TEA THE LANESBOROUGH, HYDE PARK CORNER £38 Afternoon tea is an essential British experience – scones and a jolly lovely pot of brew is what being English is all about. But to show some real dedication to the ritual, try this fancy pants version at The Lanesborough, where a tea sommelier is on hand to guide you towards the perfect cup. You can expect the usual spread alongside it – freshly baked scones, thick clotted cream, homemade fruit preserves and dainty little sandwiches. Spiffing!

Daily, 4pm-6pm Hyde Park Corner, SW1X 7TA Hyde Park Corner lanesborough.com

Open to the public daily, 24/7 Cricket Green, CR4 3UD Belgrave Walk mitchamcricketgreen.org.uk

BEST TEA AND CRUMPETS CARAVAN, FARRINGDON Trendy coffee aficionados Caravan also serve a cheeky “two crumpets with too much butter” and tea at breakfast and brunch. Indulge, daintily. £4.70

Mon-Fri, breakfast 8am-11.30am; Sat-Sun, brunch 10am-4pm 11-13 Exmouth Market, EC1R 4QD Farringdon caravanonexmouth.co.uk

BEST WOODLAND WALK

best kebab tas firin, bethnal green

This pocket of peace provides an English woodland walk in Zone 3, plus there’s a sports ground with attending cute cafe.

Another English staple? Kebab and chips at the end of a boozy night. And that combo doesn’t get any tastier than at this east London gem.

Daily, from 9am Muswell Hill Road, opp. Highgate tube Highgate cityoflondon.gov.uk

Daily, 12pm-12am 160 Bethnal Green Road, E2 6BG Bethnal Green tas-firin.co.uk

HIGHGATE FREE

£10+

BEST SUNDAY ROAST THE PIG AND BUTCHER, ANGEL A Sunday roast down the pub is the only way to mourn the end of the weekend in England, and our very favourite in London is this cheeky little number in Islington. The pub has an on-site butcher, so the meat is top-notch, while the massive Yorkshire puddings, crotch-ticklingly good creamed leeks and best-ever roast potatoes make sublime sides. As if all that weren’t enough, there’s also a blackboard of craft brews to choose from. £15.95

Sun, 12pm-9pm 80 Liverpool Rd, N1 0QD Angel thepigandbutcher.co.uk

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LONDONDRINKS

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Cheerful: get cheap cocktails in the City

BAR

How you’ll feel about Be At One depends on how you already feel about All Bar Slug and Piano, as I once heard London’s chain bars called. Think their identikit, semi-posh interiors, loud chart music and after-work crowds are the scourge of the capital’s drinks scene and a massive bore? Don’t go here then.

Want somewhere easy and comfortable to step into where the bartenders know their way around a cocktail menu, but the prices are still low? Then you’ll love it. The staff are almost disconcertingly friendly at the Monument branch of Be At One and it doesn’t get too packed. The music is insanely loud in here, even at around 6pm on a weeknight, but other than that it’s an inoffensive place to grab a drink. The real reason to come, however, is its rather generous daily two-for-one cocktail deal. They even have an app that allows you to ‘activate’ your happy hour when it suits you (during the week at least). Can’t argue with that.

THE GRUB Popcorn and crisps, no bar menu.

THE SCENE

There’s a fantastically lengthy cocktail menu here with all the classics, including martinis whichever way you want them, deliciously sweet strawberry daiquiris and knock-your-socks off margaritas.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails are from £7 a pop but, as above, you rarely have to pay that.

VERDICT We’ll never turn up our noses at a cheap cocktail, so this place is A-OK. HE BEHIND THE BAR

28 King William St, EC4R 9AT

HOT CHOCOLATE

Monument

KONDITOR & COOK

MELANGE

ROCOCO

Looking for a chocolate fix outside of overpriced eggs?

Try the unabashedly sinful hot chocolate at this City spot, where two types of Belgian chocolate are mixed with vanilla pods and full-fat milk for £2.60. Slurp.

This Peckham treasure does a truly unusual cup of hot white chocolate with cardamom and nutmeg, or go for the thick dark chocolate at £3. Recipes are courtesy of owner and artisan chocolatier Isabelle.

Hop on the hipster gourmet train and order some sea salt with your hot chocolate at Rococo in Belgravia. You can lap up choco-lattes (£3.50) or smaller espresso-style shots (£2.80), and enjoy a free truffle with them, too.

konditorandcook.com

themelange.com

rococochocolates.com

Photos: konditorandcook.com; themelange.com; rococochocolates.com

3 OF THE BEST

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BITE SIZE

Camberwell class: a reborn local worth bragging about

scotch egg hunt If you’re more a savoury than a sweet type, don’t despair of Easter – London’s ETM group of pubs has devised a Scotch egg hunt for those more prone to porkand-crumb-wrapped eggy goodness.

Follow a treasure map complete with clues to discover eggs hidden at their pubs across the city and you can win prizes including 50 per cent off your food bill, a free glass of champagne or a complimentary Scotch egg (wowzers).

On until April 7, more deets online. etmgroup.co.uk

Great Scotch: another Easter treat

beans in the bog What the hell is it with food and drink venues setting themselves up in toilets?

Is this supposed to be appetising? Hot on the heels of Broadway Market’s Portside Parlour (hidden behind a dunny door), Attendant is a new coffee shop located inside a former public urinal, where you’re seated by ye olde porcelain bowls while you drink up trendy Caravan coffee. Er, what? the-attendant.com

Photo: Thinkstock

free booze and moves Fancy a free cocktail and a chance to improve your dance moves? Why on earth would you say no? Latin Tuesdays have now launched at Aprés in Marylebone, where the cocktail lounge offers up a complimentary mojito and free salsa classes for beginners and intermediates. You can also bag up to 35 per cent off all drinks and food between 5pm and 9pm on the night. Check out the web for class times and stick around after your lesson for DJ Anabel spinning the best in salsa and merengue. Hot!

the crooked well BRITISH

There are two mistakes it is easy to make about Camberwell and The Crooked Well. Firstly, that this less-than-salubrious area of south London has little to prompt a visit. While the walk from the station once offered nothing to persuade otherwise, it now does – The Crooked Well. The second mistake is that this recently refurbished pub-restaurant is a bit too pretentious for its own good.

It’s not. The menu is adventurous, the staff welcoming, and the locals are swiftly making this establishment a talking point that demands a visit.

The grub As the chatty website says, four friends got together to bring you a neighbourhood bar and restaurant, and the menu they’ve concocted goes some way to realising this. It’s gastropub grub done with style, elegance and personality, and the place is becoming renowned for its Sunday roasts. I kick off with the venison, pheasant and pistachio terrine (sublime) and the sautéed scallops greatly please my shell fish-aficionado dining partner. After momentarily eyeing up the rabbit and bacon pie for two, we plump for the confit duck leg (soft and meltingly yummy) and the pollock, clam and cockle risotto (a flavour-packed delight). A brief breather allows us time to all but polish off the rouge before tackling the cheese board (with more than enough grapes and quince paste to go round, too).

THE SCENE

We await our table with a couple of pints of bitter before sharing a bottle of the Torres Ibericos Rioja, and round things off with cocktails – the Bonfire Margarita (tequila, mescal, lime, Cointreau, agave syrup, pepper and salt rim) and a Salty Dog (Stolichnaya citron, grapefruit juice, lime juice, salt and sugar rim).

Bill please Starters from £4.75; mains from £10.25; desserts from £4.75. Beers from £3.80; wines from £4.20/ £11 per glass/ bottle; and cocktails from £6. verdict It’s become a celebrated local with tables highly sought after at weekends and for good reason – it’s pub prices with top-end quality grub and great vibes.

Puts Camberwell dining well and truly on the map. aLASDAIR MORTON Behind the bar

apres-london.com 16 Grove Lane, SE5 8SY

thecrookedwell.com

Loughborough Junction

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Giddy-up: Foals’ breathtaking new tunes are all set for the Royal Albert Hall, twice

festival

watch

i’ll be your mirror

foals Royal Albert Hall, SW7 2AP march 28 | Doors at 2.45pm & 7.30pm | £25+

Alexandra Palace, N22 7AY. May 5 & 6 Alexandra Palace atpfestival.com

£59+

All Tomorrow’s Parties put on their third IBYM fest at Ally Pally – a two-day party of left-field rock that’s going to be a belter. New York art-punks Yeah Yeah Yeahs (below) curate the bill and headline the Saturday night ahead of their forthcoming Mosquito LP, with support from Black Lips, The Field and more. Grizzly Bear take control of the line-up on Sunday, with Real Estate, The Walkmen and more in tow.

Oxford five-piece Foals were an indie rock band with a math-y vibe and dancedisco-funk rhythm lurking beneath the surface. On their first two albums at least.

Then late last year lead single Inhaler from the barnstorming third LP Holy Fire hit and things were never quite the same.

Foals, lead by frontman Yannis Philippakis (above), hit the ground running.

Their first album, Antidotes, reached number three in the UK charts back in 2007, and was produced in New York with TV On The Radio’s Dave Sitek, although the band didn’t like his take on their sound and so decided to mix the record themselves. They followed that up with Total Life Forever three years later, which was less funky and drew more on their math-rock influences and won them a Mercury Prize nom in the process. But with Holy Fire they’ve made the move from uppity indie folks to full-on rock gods.

As a calling card for the album, Inhaler roars out of the speakers like a distortion-savaged Jane’s Addiction, full of stomping riffs and talismanic attitude made for slaying the festival crowds – which it undoubtedly will this summer. Holy Fire more than lived up to this furious taster, too, hitting the top of the album charts Down Under earlier this year as well.

They’ve been touring the States since the start of the year but they’re back over here now with two shows in one day at Royal Albert Hall – an evening gig and a demand-driven matinee. Watch this space, the Foals are going to rule in 2013!

South Kensington

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squarepusher: live ufabulum show

NEW BAND

GIG sat, mar 30. 7pm-11pm £25

Squarepusher released his Ufabulum album last year to sterling critical praise – and rightly so.

It’s an electronic music maelstrom of sounds, genres and attitudes that is impossible to ignore.

He’s now taking it, and its accompanying A/V gee-whizzery on the road, to deliver what promises to be an absolute corker of a show.

Roundhouse Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8EH Chalk Farm roundhouse.org.uk

push play

digitalism

CLUB

CLUB

thur, mar 28. 10pm-6am £10+

fri, mar 29. 9pm-3am £12.50+

An all-star line-up of beats and bass music artists come together for this fundraiser for music PR Sonia Akow, who’s being treated for leukemia.

Take a deep breath: there’s Shy FX, Krafty Kuts, MJ Cole, B-Traits, Deekline and Ed Solo, Rodney P, Elisabeth Troy, Congo Natty, A-Skillz, Dub Pistols Sound System, Freestylers and loads more.

The Gallic electronic music duo, who have a couple of albums under their belt – the last was I Love You Dude in 2011 – take on this headline DJ set at east London’s XOYO. Kolsch (live) and DFA Records’ Shit Robot line up in support, as well as a bunch of yet-to-be-announced special guests for the night.

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross egglondon.net

XOYO 32-37 Cowper Street, EC2A 4AP Old Street xoyo.co.uk

lapalux The buzz so far Electronic music is flooded with the latest laptop prodigies and Essex-bred Lapalux (aka Stuart Howard) is one of these, but his poly-genre pilfering and distinctive voice is defined through his emphasis on textures, subtlety and surprises. Where Skrillex is intent on hacking your ears to shreds with his wub-wub assault, Lapalux wants to hypnotise them into a dream-like trance. He’ll be a summer fest feature, has fans in Diplo and SBTRKT, and the debut Nostalchic announces his arrival.

The Critics say “Maddeningly, defiantly, unplaceable, in time or space” Louis Patterson, BBC

Nostalchic is out Mar 25 through Brainfeeder. Plays Dance Tunnel, Mar 21. £7 E8 2PB Dalston Kingsland lapalux.com

Photos: Getty; Kate Bellm

the plug

biffy clyro

secretsundaze easter special

bastille

GIG

CLUB

GIG

wed, apr 3. 7pm £26.50+

thur, mar 28. 10pm-6am £9.50

mar 28 & 29. 7pm £25

Scot rockers the Biff, as they’re known to their fans, are making sure 2013 is the year they come of age. A number one album, Opposites, this headline show at The O2, and then a summer of festivals including closing out Reading and Leeds in August – they’re a band you need to get on board with.

The Secretsundaze crew celebrate 12 years in the party business in 2013, and have a chock-full roster of events coming up. This Easter bash has Nina Kraviz (above), A Guy Called Gerald (live), Mike Huckaby, Anthony Naples, Citizen, Giles Smith, James Priestley, to name but a few. Get your party gear on!

A solo project from Dan Smith that quickly took on a group dynamic, south London’s indieelectronica Bastille released a debut, Bad Blood, earlier this year that went straight to the top of the charts. They’re now playing these two headline shows at the Empire to celebrate the fact they’ve scored instant awesomeness.

The O2 Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk

Electric Brixton Town Hall Parade, SW2 1RJ Brixton electricbrixton.com

Shepherd’s Bush Empire W12 8TT Shepherd’s Bush o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

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FOUR PAIRS OF TICKETS TO BILBAO BBK LIVE FESTIVAL TNT and Bilbao BBK Live festival have teamed up to give four lucky readers a pair of tickets to the live music extravaganza.

Boasting an incredible line-up that includes headliners Kings of Leon, Green Day and Depeche Mode, plus the likes of Fatboy Slim, Soulwax, Klaxons, Biffy Clyro and Alt-J – to name just a few – Bilbao BBK Live, on July 11-13, has established itself as the next stop to Pamps!

The late start for bands and the festival’s proximity to the city and beach allow you to make the most of your time in Bilbao; a modern city

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Tom Stade

The Canadian stand-up on his new show, Totally Rocks, moving to the UK, and his addictive personality

INTERVIEW alasdair morton

Tell us why Tom Stade Totally Rocks ...

When I’m hanging out I’m always like, “That totally rocked...” And who would want to go to a show by a guy who doesn’t totally rock, like ‘Keith, who averagely rocks’, or ‘Jim, doesn’t really rock at all’?

Or ‘Jim is OK on a good day’ ...

Yeah, totally. A lot of people call me rock ‘n’ roll because I ended up marrying my gal after three months of knowing her on a Fear And Loathingstyle trip in Las Vegas. Then I had kids, at which point most people would have quit comedy but I kept going, and partied through to 40. I looked back on the stuff that came out of it and it’s been eye-opening – I realised I just liked having fun, so the show’s about that.

What else have you learned?

That having an addictive personality has got me into trouble. People think that just means drugs and alcohol, but it’s more than that. You should see how much shit I buy.

Like what?

I buy records all the time, I have three TVs, a wooden Buddha. I have 22 pairs of pants – I’m worse than a woman. My whole philosophy is I’m only on earth once, I might as well buy everything!

Is the wife competitive?

We are definitely in competition, no doubt. But I gain an inch on my waist every five years so I’ll need to sell those pants at a jumble sale soon.

Photo: Trudy Stade

How is touring for the married man?

To tell you the truth, it is the one thing that saved my marriage. If me and [wife] Trude were in the same room 24 hours a day, you wouldn’t be talking to me right now – there were times when I was home for three weeks and she wanted to kill me in my sleep.

Does she mind featuring in the show?

There are things I have to ask her: “Do you mind if I talk about your vagina on stage?” But she’s pretty cool with it. It is based on truth, then you exaggerate it. She understands that whereas there are people who’ve walked up to her and gone “so your pussy is like an overcoat...”

Shopaholic: Stade admits he has 22 pairs of pants She doesn’t want to edit the material too much then?

No. Comedy is about tragedy – if there isn’t a victim, there’s nothing to laugh at. A lot of the time people feel they’re the only ones going through something, when they’re fighting with their gal. They think everyone has this perfect relationship – which is bullshit. When I talk about it, they aren’t just laughing at the joke but the recognition in their own lives. And it makes me feel comfortable too! But when a line doesn’t get a laugh suddenly I feel very alone.

What have you learned about your life?

We went and saw Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet. It’s called a love story but it takes a long time to love somebody. I see it as more of an infatuation. Romeo got to die a year into his relationship – he didn’t have to live through love, which is hard, man! Would I have loved my wife more if she’d died a year into it? Do you think she would have loved me more with the fantasy of what I could have been, versus what she has lived through?

You live in Edinburgh now – how did your relocation happen?

It’s a comedy of errors that’s got me to this place. We were hanging around in [native] Canada when friends said: “Come to England – they’d love you.” And people did, they wanted

to book me for six months in a row which is unheard of in Canada.

Did you start out in London?

Yeah, for six months and then we realised how expensive it is. So we moved to Wolverhampton [in the Midlands]. Then when going to the [Edinburgh] Fringe all we could get was a sixmonth lease, so we thought it might be a good time to move to Scotland.

How do you feel about your new home?

I love it but Scotland lacks colour. When you walk downtown there’s these really cool, old grey buildings. You are thinking: “Did someone put any red anywhere?”

You were on Soccer AM last year – do you have an adopted football team?

I don’t have a Scottish team but I do like Wolves [Wolverhampton Wanderers] – they make me howl. But I never get to see them play as they’re not good enough to be on TV! But having teams going up and down [between divisions] is exciting. They should do that in ice hockey, where instead they just have a billion teams all in the best league!

Tom Stade Totally Rocks. Leicester Square Theatre. Apr 4-6. £17.50 WC2H 7BX Leicester Square tomstade.co.uk

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Mesmerising: Danny Boyle’s big screen return is a triumph

trance FILM review by Alasdair Morton Starring: James McAvoy, Rosario Dawson, Vincent Cassel | 18 | 101mins | Out March 27

gi joe: retaliation FILM Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis, Channing Tatum | TBC | 110mins

Californian Jon Chu takes over from Stephen Sommers for this CGI-packed sequel. Willis and The Rock join the Joe ranks as they get to beating back on their Cobra adversaries. It’s dumb but hopefully full of fun, and loads of special effects and boom-crash-bang explosions for your buck.

On general release March 27

20

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What’s Danny Boyle been up to since the Olympics opening ceremony? Not this, his first feature released post-Games – it was actually shot before last summer – but as a multiplex ‘comeback’ nonetheless, it is a stonking return.

Re-teamed with old producer and writing partner John Hodge (Shallow Grave, Trainspotting), Trance is a fast-paced, fractured, perception-shifting noir thriller.

James McAvoy is art auctioneer Simon, who’s hit over the head by Cassel’s thieving hood during a heist. His subsequent amnesia is a big concern after the fact, though, as somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind is the secret to the doublecross that left the art-hungry gang holding nothing but an empty bag.

It’s Boyle doing Inception in many ways, as Simon visits hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson), who unlocks all kinds of subconscious-buried impulses, and pickles his grip on reality in the process. Hodge’s script is ambitious and funny (“everyone knows amnesia is bullshit”, one character quips) and Boyle brings his trademark visual flair (mirrors refract light and images all over the place as Simon descends deeper into disbelief) and infectious energy, with a thumping soundtrack

by Underworld’s Rick Smith (another long-time Boyle collaborator).

Where it could have been an overly serious sophisticate, Trance is a loose and cheeky film, too – there are a number of stand-out ‘ick’ moments (a savaged halfexploded head chats away to Simon at one point) and ample flesh on display, male and female. It’s a mind-warping noir-ish maze you’ll definitely want to get lost in.

Good for: Seeing one of Britain’s best-loved filmmakers back on the big screen

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found footage festival

GIGGLE!

COMEDY

Nick Prueher (Late Show With David Letterman) and Joe Pickett (The Onion) lead this trawl through some of the weirdest and off-key VHS clips they have unearthed from the thrift stores and jumble sales of New York. A comedy show jam-packed with oddities, such as the Texan with a very peculiar take on English customs.

Soho Theatre 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Mar 27-30. £15 Tott Crt Rd sohotheatre.com

david bowie is

paper dolls

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Many things: a rock ‘n’ roll superstar; an alien from another planet who came to earth with some of the best songs ever written. He’s also a master secret-keeper it would seem as he managed to keep his latest album, The Next Day, hush-hush from us all. This exhib looks at his influence on music, fashion and art.

Orthodox Jews and Filipino drag queens make an unlikely pairing but Philip Himberg’s play with music – about the Filipino Paper Dolls act in Tel Aviv – poignantly proves that, with tolerance and understanding, the most improbable clashes of race, faith, culture and sexual orientation can result in something truly life-affirming.

V&A Cromwell Road, SW7 2RL. Until Jul 27. £14 South Kensington vam.ac.uk

Tricycle Theatre Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR. Until Apr 28. £14+ Kilburn tricycle.co.uk

aisling bea What’s this week’s show about?

Put it this way guys, political dictatorships should be pretty nervous right now … because Aisling Bea is about to TELL IT LIKE IT IS! Not really. General whimsy, I suppose.

Photos: Getty; Karla Gowlett; Brinkhoff/Moegenburg

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen? A pigeon eat its way into the middle of a slice of bread so the bread got stuck. He had a bread picture frame round his face.

Pigeons are my enemy, so I laughed hard and true at this delicous taste of schadenfreude.

good vibrations

curious incident of the dog in the night-time

FILM

THEATRE

This music biopic looks not at the rock ‘n’ roll star on the stage, but the man behind the legends, in this case Belfast’s Terri Hooley, who began with a shop, started a label, and brought the world the likes of The Undertones and their John Peel-stunning Teenage Kicks (his fave record of all time) while The Troubles raged around. A feel-good smash with kick-ass tunes.

After a deservedly sell-out run in the National Theatre, this clever adaptation of Mark Haddon’s award-winning book makes a gratifying West End transfer with Luke Treadaway reprising his knock-out portrayal of Christopher Boone, the 15-year-old with Asperger’s syndrome who sets out to discover who killed his neighbour’s dog.

On general release March 29

Apollo Theatre W1D 7ES. Until Jan 4, 2014. £12+ Piccadilly Circus curiousonstage.com

Who inspired you to pick up a mic? I started working as an actor with The Comedians Theatre Company, run by Phil Nichol and Maggie Inchley. I have lots of friends who are stand-ups, so I suppose I got some gentle kicks up the arse from them. It was building up the nerve to just do it. Oh and Jesus – he really had a big hand in it.

Tell us a joke ... How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden. Thank you very much, I’ve been Aisling Bea! Knock2Bag Presents, Rich Mix. Mar 28.

E1 6LA Shoreditch High 7pm. £10 Street

knock2bag.co.uk

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National treasure: director Danny Boyle is back in the multiplex after his London 2012 Olympic Games opening ceremony triumph 22

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Prepare to be entranced After his Olympics bash last year, director Danny Boyle makes his movie return with psych-thriller Trance. TNT meets him Words alasdair morton

“I approached it the same way I do with everyone else,” director Danny Boyle tells us of his moments last year directing Her Madge for the Olympics opening ceremony.

“She said, ‘I’ve been to the dentists this morning so I am not in a very good mood, tell me what you want’. So I did.”

The last couple of years have been pretty eventful for Danny Boyle, even by his standards, yet sometime in the middle of putting on the opening ceremony to the ‘Greatest Show on Earth’, he managed to find time to make another film – the psychological, noir-esque thriller Trance. We sit down with the director and one of his leads, man of the moment James McAvoy, at ultra-glam The Soho Hotel, to find out more about the latest addition to Boyle’s increasingly impressive oeuvre.

“It’s a twisty, turny little fucker of a movie,” says McAvoy, who is nursing broken fingers courtesy of his current Macbeth West End run. And he has a point.

A heist movie that toys with the subconscious and our perception of reality, it starts with an auction theft (“I like films that burst in the door at the beginning,” Boyle says) in which McAvoy’s Simon is cracked over the head by Vincent Cassel’s art thief. After this the Scot (speaking in his own accent on screen for the first time in ages) finds the darkest recesses of his mind teased at and probed by Rosario Dawson’s hypnotherapist, as Cassel’s crim wants to know why his multi-million plan didn’t go to, well, plan, leaving him holding an empty case rather than a prized Goya.

Trance flits through our minds, our wants, our desires as Simon falls under the hypnotist’s spell, with fractured narratives and perception-shifting points of view playing out throughout.

“It is a series of increasing trances,” Boyle explains of the film that was lensed pre-Games but saved for now. In order to ensure accuracy and veracity, the cast went to hypnotism boot camp – yet with only varying degrees of success.

“They tried it on me but it didn’t work,” McAvoy says.

“I was a bit gutted because I was keen to be regressed or turned into a chicken or something, but it didn’t happen.

I went with it for about 10 minutes but then I was like, I need a pee and to scratch my leg. This isn’t working, mate.

I’m sorry.” McAvoy was not one of the 5-10 per cent of the population who are susceptible to hypnotism, it would seem.

In Boyle’s last movie, 127 Hours, the filmmaker had

one main character – the man stuck under the rock. Here he has three leads, with McAvoy, Dawson and Cassel. But storytelling challenges and playing with audiences’ and studios’ preconceptions are part and parcel of what drives this most enigmatic of filmmakers.

“

It’s a twisty, turny little fucker of a movie

”

“I am evangelical,” he tells us of his approach to making the movies he wants to make. He wants to originate his own projects and bring them in for under US$20million, which is a lot to you or I – and even a Premiership footballer – but small potatoes where Hollywood’s concerned. He’s an Oscarwinning director, he could have the pick of the scripts, so why this stringent approach? ››

Winning gold: the director bagged an Oscar for Slumdog Millionaire tntMagazine.com

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Star power: Danny Boyle on the red carpet with the cast of Trance. (L to R): Rosario Dawson, James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel “I ask them [the actors] to make less money than they will elsewhere, and I keep the budget down because then we keep control of [the film’s] deviousness,” he explains. “I find it ludicrous when people are lent US$100 million and then [aren’t expected] to express an opinion.”

Boyle keeps the budget low so he can stick to his guns, and Trance – darker even than127 Hours, despite that film featuring a nauseating sequence in which the canyoneer saws off his own arm with a penknife – fits his style to a tee. It’s fast, flashy, with a kick-ass soundtrack courtesy of Underworld’s Rick Smith, and has mind-warping visuals.

Yet these Boyle-isms refract a less praised element of his filmmaking prowess.

“One of the things that doesn’t get paid to him is that he is an actors’ director,” McAvoy says. “He knows what we go through.” Starting out in regional theatre before moving towards the silver screen no doubt nurtured this approach.

“He knows how to get [from you] what he wants without huge amounts of chat,” McAvoy adds. “He doesn’t have to go through stories from his life: ‘I remember this time when I was 10 years old and my granny smacked me and I felt this rage bubble up inside me, do you know what I mean?’ He gets you there with economy and grace.”

It is this faith from others in his craft that persuades

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“

It is about seducing the audience

”

incredibly vulnerable until they do it, but then they have all the power. Once you have your kit off, whether it is on set or on stage, people daren’t look at you. No one wants to be in the situation where somebody naked says, ‘What are you looking at?’”

Trance was actually filmed during Boyle’s two-year preparation for the Olympics. He took a stint off to do Frankenstein on the London stage with Trainspotting alumni Jonny Lee Miller, with whom he may or may not re-team for a Spud, Renton, Begbie and Sick Boy sequel (he won’t do it if there is any chance it will disappoint). And he then took another sabbatical for this.

So while Boyle was preparing to celebrate London, the UK, and all it has given the world, he was also beavering away on a movie in which murder and manipulation are high currency. Both projects were built around the same intent, though, in many ways.

“Everything you do is about seducing the audience,” he says of the method behind the movie. Believe us, Trance will suck you right in. It may or may not make you think you are a chicken, though. ❚ Trance is released March 27 through Pathé. Review on P20.

Photos: Getty

On set: Boyle and (right) Cassel

people to sign on for Boyle – indeed, it was this strength that shaped the opening ceremony into more than a Britain’s Got Talent charade – and gets them to go that extra mile. For Trance, this involved nude scenes with his leading lady – one Dawson was up for from the get-go, understanding it was not gratuitous but integral to the story.

“You do it with a closed set,” Boyle explains of the process. “There are some actors who regard part of their job as [being] that they have the whole of them available to you.

“You’ll be surprised how the power shifts when you are in that moment. A lot of actors have said to me that they feel

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SPARETIME

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Bioshock Infinite

Edwyn Collins: Understated

Game

The latest chapter in the series is a 1912-set adventure corker. £39.99 play.com

CD

The man behind 1994’s mega-hit A Girl Like You releases his ninth solo album. £8.99 play.com

Army Of Two: The Devil’s Cartel

Various Artists: Girls OST

Game

Third-person, drug cartelbased action shooter. £39.99 play.com

CD

Robyn, Santigold, Fleet Foxes and Sleigh Bells line up on the soundtrack to the hipster NY-based TV show. £9.99 amazon.co.uk

Drink Coach App

Keeps an eye on your weekly booze intake so you can monitor those units. £1.45 itunes.apple.com

Brian Cox: Wonders Of LifeBook Book

The book for the BBC series about life itself. £16.58 play.com

Creative Studio

Michael Grant: Light

One of the best for tinkering with your phone pics.

FREE

App

windowsphone.com

Book

Sixth and final part of the best-selling fantasy series Gone. £12.45 amazon.co.uk

Giotech Sports Controller Gadget

Customisable PS3 controller for the keen sports gamer. £34.99 gioteck.com

Frankie Go Boom DVD

A random cast – Charlie Hunnam, Chris O’Dowd and Ron Perlman – star in this comedy about a guy whose life is ruined by a viral video. £9.99 play.com

Everything Chair Gadget

An inflatable chair with space for, well, everything. £34.99 iwantoneofthose.com

Lake Placid: The Final Chapter DVD

This is the third and final installment in the croc-munches-onpeople horror series. £9.99 play.com

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App of the Week Nick Cave App

This ace new Spotify app allows you to negotiate the prolific songwriter’s diverse back catalogue. Indispensable.

FREE open.spotify.com/app/nickcave

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22/03/2013 13:15:08

TNT Language School sponsored by

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TNT_1543_027 27

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22/03/2013 17:56:51

LifestyleHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

CyclEbeat I’ve never had a loving relationship with spinning classes. Almost without fail, half the bikes in the studios seem broken, I never know if the seat’s adjusted correctly, and I often have the sneaking suspicion the resistance on my bike is calibrated higher than everybody else’s (that’s my excuse, anyway). Enter Cyclebeat, the fairly new spinning studio in the City’s Lombard Court. Compared to other studios, Cyclebeat feels positively VIP. I was presented with my own towel and water bottle before class.

As a newbie to the space, when I approached my bike (which I booked online – I chose one furthest from the front), one of the instructors helped me adjust it for maximum comfort. Stadium-style seating ensured an unobstructed view of the instructor. All the bikes are listed by number on a leader board at the front of the room, and more competitive types can push to be the fastest in the room if they like. I, alas, had no hope. I was relieved to be the third-slowest in the room. However, as my score was there for all to see, I did push myself more than I had ever previously in a spinning class.

Costs £120 for a 10-class pass or intro £30 for 30 days offer. DC

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Run away Next month’s London Marathon is sure to inspire the city’s joggers – now it’s time to up your game Words DAISY CARRINGTON

For the next month, thousands of runners will be preparing to pound the pavement for the London Marathon’s gruelling 42.195km.

Some will meet life-long goals and eclipse personal bests, while others will emerge hobbling and twisted like Simon Pegg in Run Fatboy Run, without the heroic finale.

We’d rather you be in the first camp, so we’ve assembled this toe-to-head guide to preparing for and surviving a marathon.

Step one: Get the right shoe All men may be created equal, but all feet are not. Some turn in while they run (this is called overpronation), while others turn out (yes, that’s underpronation). The right shoe can correct your gait, and can make even the most pronounced twists neutral. In order to match each runner with the perfect shoe, Sweatshop performs a gait analysis, where they film and analyse your run on a treadmill. Full-time staffers are trained in biomechanics at Roehampton University in

Surrey, so know their stuff. The shoes cost money, but this useful assessment is free.

WHERE: Sweatshop, various locations. sweatshop.co.uk

Step two: Build endurance If you think catching your breath at ground level is difficult, try it at high altitude, where the oxygen level is much lower. It’s a technique that works for the likes of Mo Farah and Paula Radcliffe, who hit the peaks when training. The idea is, if your body can adjust to a high-intensity workout at low oxygen levels, it can perform even better when they’re normal. Athletes flock to The Altitude Centre, which features a hypoxic chamber (a sealed room mimicking the atmosphere at 2750m above sea level).

The O2 levels reach 15 per cent (standard is 22 per cent). From £28 per session.

WHERE: The Altitude Centre, 6 Trump Street, EC2V 8AF, tel. 020 7193 1626. altitudecentre.com

8 Lombard Court, EC3V 9BJ cyclebeat.co.uk Bank

Right foot: shoes matter 28

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Apple a day: charity runner

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WHAT’S NEW

Brightside Bubble Bar Give your bath some zip £4.25 lush.co.uk

Landmark race: London marathoners puff past the city’s most iconic sites Step three: Sweat it out

Step four: Get in the mindset

Sweat is as distinct as our fingerprints, with some folks’ perspiration saltier than others. As such, the amount of sodium you should ingest to refuel will vary greatly from person-to-person. That’s why precision hydration (not just what you sweat, but how much) is popular in athletic circles.

The Physio4Life Clinic in Putney administers sweat tests, and pairs runners with the correct dosage of electrolytes, so they can refuel effectively. A sweat test costs £95.

Electrolyte tablets are £6.95 for 15.

WHERE: Physio4Life, Putney Medical Centre, 125 Upper Richmond Road, SW15 2TL, tel. 020 8704 5998. physio4life.co.uk

Running a marathon should be enjoyable – it shouldn’t be a chore or a source of anxiety. Moreover, the happy athlete is often also the better one. That’s where sports psychologists come in. High-profile athletes such as Jessica Ennis have talked openly about working with a sports psychologist, which means it shouldn’t be taboo for the rest of us. To find the right sport psychologist for you, visit the British Psychological NEXT WEEK Society’s site.

Sexy and sweaty: Rates average Raunchy workouts £70 per session. bps.org.uk

Elevate Bust Firming Cream Perkier boobs in a bottle £69.95 eternalcosmeceuticals.com

Korres Iris/ Lily of the Valley/ Cotton Homegrown perfume £29 bathandunwind.com

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

top treatment: Power facial Though its name suggests your face will be zapped by superheroes, Karine Jackson’s power facial lacks supernatural properties. Still, technicians accomplish a lot in a 30-minute session. Expect a deep cleanse, customised mask and a supple moisturising treatment, plus a head and scalp massage.

The power facial is especially convenient for those short on time, and is reasonably priced to boot. £42.50 for 30 mins.

Face-off: turbo pampering

24 Litchfield Street, WC2H 9NJ

karinejackson.co.uk

Covent Garden

SPF15 Tan Accelerator Get bronze with protection £12.99 greenpeople.co.uk tntMagazine.com

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Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY

www.beselectrecruit.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Office Furniture Fitters and Porters Location: London and the UK Salary: Per hour

Be Select is an agency who specialise in providing office furniture fitters and porters to the commercial relocation and furniture industry.

If you are physically fit and able to have a good time, then why not join our team of office furniture fitters and porters. You will have the opportunity to work in some of the most prestigious buildings in London, and travel the UK. Tools and CSCS are an advantage but not a necessity.

BE SELECT LTD

Please send CV and brief cover letter to joinus@beselectrecruit.co.uk

MARYLEBONE CRICKET CLUB (MCC) www.lords.org

JOB OF THE WEEK: Managers, Cellar, Catering Staff, Chefs Location: St. John’s Wood Salary: Depending on position

The world’s most famous cricket ground set in the heard of St. Johns Wood. Currently recruiting staff to join an experienced fast-paced catering team for the upcoming cricket season.

Lord’s is a place where legends are made.

A perfect opportunity for those who enjoy first-class cricket and want to enhance their experience. Successful candidates will be joining the Catering Team in this prestigious sporting venue. With sell-out crowds of 30,000 spectators there is huge demand for outstanding staff to work within bars and catering outlets. Our major match days are:

ORIGIN

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-In Carers Location: London & South East Salary: £574 per week

T: 020 7617 7894 www.origincare.com

15th to 20th May, 30th to 31st May, 30th June, 4th July, 17th to 22nd July, 25th July, 21st Sept

Anna Beres | anna.beres@mcc.org.uk

Live-in roles typically of 2 weeks on and 1 week off. Free specialist training provided with Origin, a dedicated company established over 10 years.

Our clients are young adults with a spinal injury. We need positive people to help them live independently. Free accommodation, food and refunded travel expenses!

Promotional prospects and higher rates of pay available.

TRO GROUP

JOB OF THE WEEK: Event Operator Location: Norwich, Norfolk Salary: Excellent day rate plus generous allowances

T: 01953 713742 www.eventoperators.tro-group.co.uk

John Hardy | 020 7617 7894 | johnhardy@origincare.com

TRO is an Experiential Marketing and Brand Experience Agency, working events for clients such as BMW, Vauxhall and Lucozade!

Transporting, Setting up and stand managing promotional kit to national events across the country. Practical and manual skills along with strong customer service is a must.

Full UK driving licence required.

SHOPFITTINGS DIRECT

JOB OF THE WEEK: Wholesale/Retail Position Location: London E.1 Salary: 20K

T: 020 7790 3007

We are a company that supplies shopfittings to the retail and public sector. We are looking for a individual with a good personality and attitude to join our team. The role will involve heavy lifting, and getting involved with sales, deliveries and stockroom duties. If this sounds like the role for you, please call.

www.shopfittingsshop.com We are a company that supplies shopfittings to the retail and public sector.

WEDO SIMPLE SHOPPING T: 0800 1303690 www.wedo.co.uk We’re one of the fastest growing ecommerce companies in the UK selling furniture.

We’re exciting, relaxed, focused and fun.

Apply online | www.eventoperators.tro-group.co.uk

Mark Christie | 020 7790 3007

JOB OF THE WEEK: Customer Service Representative Location: Oval, London Salary: 18-20K Dealing with customer queries over the phone and via email. Ability to prioritise and manage your time, the ability to relate to people from all walks of life and a genuinely amicable and approachable personality.

0800 1303690 | joinus@wedo.co.uk

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Jaqui Ward | 020 3137 5950 | jaqui.ward@tntmultimedia.com

TNT_1543_030 30

JOBS 22/03/2013 15:14:04

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cash-SAVING TIPS

how you spend it!

Xxxxxxxxx

Pizza deals Get your cheese on and save 25 per cent while you do. Until March 28, Pizza xxxxxxxxx Express is giving customers dining Sunday through to Xxxxxxxxxxx Thursday a discount on both eat-in and takeaway orders. To get a voucher, visit pizzaexpress.com, xxxxxxxxx fill in your deets, print it and bring it to select Xxxxxxxxxxx restaurants (listed online).

Vino on the cheap Sainsbury’s wine is cheaper xxxxxxxxx than chips. If you order online, you can get three Xxxxxxxxxxx bottles of Gallo Family White Grenache Rose wine for £5 – that’s £1.66 each!

They’re limiting it to 36 xxxxxxxxx bottles per customer and the sale’s on while stocks Xxxxxxxxxxx last. Visit sainsburys.co.uk.

the allowances I set out for myself each month.

Do you have any tips for saving money in London?

I try to walk as many places as I can so I’m not spending money on the Tube or bus.

Your last big blow-out?

There was a huge American Apparel sale last week. I probably spent £100 on clothes.

Fran Riley, 19 Job Student From Shropshire Lives New Cross

Photos: Getty

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Alcohol. And I buy a lot of fast food, which I probably don’t need to do.

how THEY spend it!

Smooth sailing

Half-priced travel London Midland is offering 50 per cent off all off-peak returns to the Midlands and the northwest for travel March 23 to May 31. Be sure to book by April 21.

For more details, visit londonmidland.com.

Free organic beauty With every purchase over £30 at Origins, they’ll throw in a free 30ml bottle of Checks and Balances face wash and a 15ml tube of Modern Friction face scrub. Visit origins.co.uk.

How do you budget?

I write down everything I spend each week and make sure it’s in line with

Tiger Woods’ £13m, 155ft yacht, Privacy, wasn’t big enough to keep ex Elin Nordegren, whose rumoured new beau, entrepreneur Chris Cline, has a bigger one worth £19.8m.

Hey Tiger... size does matter

❚ Eva Longoria and now ex-hubby Tony Parker used to charter luxury yachts on vacation. They rented one to the tune of £70m per week to sail around Croatia and Italy.

❚ Rihanna chose to vacation around the Med last year on a six-bedroom yacht, clocking in at £200,000 per week. The mega boat included an on-board beauty salon, obviously.

❚ Always happy to upstage his Material Girl ex, film director Guy Ritchie has enjoyed splurging on a 234ft luxury yacht (bigger than the one Madonna owns) for £300,000-a-week.

❚ Media mogul Simon Cowell is a fan of yachting (usually shirtless) around the Caribbean. He’s been known to drop £450,000 per week on luxury yachts, with gym and Jacuzzi included.

tntjobs.co.uk PiPPa PoP-ins www.pippapopins.com

-

Pippa Pop-ins is a long established, highly respected and privately owned trio of nursery schools offering the best of traditional standards.

Job of the WeeK: Nursery teacher Location: London sW6 Salary: Dependent on experience but competitive.

We are looking for a happy, enthusiastic and knowledgeable nursery teacher with a minimum qualification of Level 3, Montessori Diploma or Degree in Early Childhood. schools@pippapopins.com

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22/03/2013 17:59:00

LIFESTYLEliving

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Home

Style .95

£39

Crumpled bin Looks like trash, but holds it

Supermarket sweep

designmyworld.net

Grocery shopping’s a bitch, but there are bargains galore if you know where to look

.99

£16

Words michael gadd

littlemissdelicious.com

.95

£14

Be a commitment-phobe

Zombie gnome Terrify those weeds prezzybox.com

Thrift whiz Sarah Willingham, founder of letssavesomemoney.com, says the key to saving pennies is to avoid commitment.

Not in love, although you’ll save on slap-up dinners, but with the many supermarket chains found in the city. She explains: “Eighty per cent of people never change their supermarket, but shopping around

is the only way to get the best deal.”

Also buy what you can in bulk, choose fresh produce that’s in season and only buying what you need are other keys to refraining from blowing your wad.

Money stretches online If Willingham had one piece of advice, it would be this: “Shop online.” She believes supermarket websites make it easier to find the bargain and when you buy in bulk, it’s easier to have it delivered.

“To make your money go further, I am a big fan of mysupermarket.com, where you can save an average of £20 a week online,” she says of the site which pits Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose against each other.

“They help you to find the cheapest store for your basket and flag any special offers. You can then order your shopping online through their site, and you’ll save on transport costs.”

.95

£17

Teacup cake moulds The Mad Hatter would love it liberty.co.uk

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Save! The aisles are packed with bargains

tntMagazine.com

22/03/2013 14:56:17

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty *Prices correct at 2pm, March 20. Stores compared on own brand or the same major brand. Offers at the time of pricing were taken as the price. Waitrose didn’t have comparable instant noodles or microwave popcorn listed online

Ketchup cushion A saucy way to get comfy

It’s true, money is too tight to mention. And wages in the UK do tend to be dwarfed by those getting dished out Down Under. On the flipside, it’s also a fact that you can get more bang for your buck here, if you know how to play it, especially when it comes to everyday staples. But where to go to get what? The supermarket choices available are many, overwhelming if you ask us, and a far cry from picking between the local Coles or Woollies. So we asked an expert.

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top tips after hours Go to your local supermarket at closing time to get reduced prices on meat, fish, dairy and baked goods. This is particularly good on a Sunday afternoon.

Thrifty: fill your grocery bags for less by shopping around

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty *Prices correct at 2pm, March 20. Stores compared on own brand or the same major brand. Offers at the time of pricing were taken as the price. Waitrose didn’t have comparable instant noodles or microwave popcorn listed online

Own brand is A-OK Generic brands in Australia get labelled as a bit povvo (if you speak like that) and certainly not considered quality, but many stores here take pride in the price-cutting products that bear their name. In addition, Willingham thinks it’s no longer taboo to go for the cheaper option.

“I think there is no longer a stigma attached to buying non-branded goods,” she says. “I love places like Lidl and Aldi as they are always great for basics, as well as some specialty cheeses and meats.

“I think people are more savvy and want to make their money go further in whatever way they can. Filling an entire trolley for under £100 is something to brag about.”

Look for the deals As Willingham says, supermarkets want you to shop there, and are always doing deals to get your dough. Keep an eye out for price matching deals and special offers. “Asda

Fresh: buy what’s in season offers a ‘price guarantee’ and Tesco has a Price Promise, where you can enter your receipt number online and they’ll refund all or part of the difference if you could have got your basket cheaper elsewhere.”

Ocado (an online-only store linked to Waitrose) and Sainsbury’s will give you a discount next time if you could have saved money elsewhere, while others offer significant savings on your first spend with them (Tesco gives you £10 off when you fork out your first £50).

Morrisons is the only major supermarket which doesn’t offer online NEXT shopping, but its WEEK best deals are all advertised online.

Backgrounder: “All the stores have Become an extra for film and TV various get out clauses but it is worth doing,” Willingham adds. letssavesomemoney.com

budget battle All retailers have sales and bargains on big ticket items, but what of the stuff we buy every week? TNT compiled an Average Joe’s shopping list, including beer, instant noodles, bread, Vegemite, cornflakes, baked beans, micro-popcorn, dunny roll, eggs, mince, chicken, peanut butter, salad, shampoo and conditioner, rice and pasta.

Then we compared the overall online prices of four major supermarkets who deliver. Here’s the difference:

aisle enders End of aisle offers are often not the best in store – look around.

eye’s out Supermarkets often locate their most profitable items at eye level.

beware copies Similar items can be placed in different aisles with different prices in some stores – think packs of cotton wool buds found for a significantly higher price in the Health and Beauty section than the Baby section.

watch the kgs Always compare the price per kilo to make sure you are getting the cheapest fruit, veg and meat.

go local Also have a look at your local greengrocer or market for fresh food – they can actually be cheaper on some things.

be a chicken A whole chicken is far cheaper and more versatile than buying a packet of chicken breasts.

cheap meat

Beer: an essential item

1. asda £37.45* 2. tesco £42.42* 3. sainsbury’s £48.34* 4. waitrose £51.80*

Look for the cheaper cuts of meat.

Pork cheek, beef brisket and lamb shoulder are all cheaper options and can be even tastier when cooked the right way. Google recipes for FREE inspiration. tntMagazine.com

TNT_1543_033 33

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22/03/2013 14:56:20

WORLDVIEW

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Wish you were here?: No, these aren’t really small people, the Bondi Icerbergs Pool was converted into a giant esky ice chest during filiming of a Jim Beam ad in Bondi last week

On a high: Josh Chamberlin

living the high life: man rents balcony australia

If you think rental prices in London are shocking, think again. A man in Sydney is paying £150 a week for the privilege of sleeping on a balcony.

And it’s not even a nice one, either. It’s dull and windowless and faces noisy King Street in sought-after Newtown.

Josh Chamberlin, who arrived in town without a job, struggled to secure a place of his own. He said: “People look and point all the time. I don’t mind it. It’s cool. I shout at people I know all the time as well.”

Living the dream, buddy. tweets of the week @Charles_HRH George Osborne on the phone. Says he’s not sure what to wear when announcing #Budget2013.

One’s suggested a balaclava @bairdjulia I wonder if Julia Gillard slept last night. She looks paler than usual, but steeled, as though she drank adrenalin for breakfast

scratch-and-sniff cannabis cards united kingdom

Residents living in areas with suspected cannabis farms are being sent weed-scented scratch-and-sniff cards in a bid to catch drug growers.

Crimestoppers reported a 15 per cent rise in the number of domestic farms in the UK between 2011 and 2012.

Roger Critchell, director of operations at the charity, said: “We are distributing scratch-and-sniff cards because not many people know how to recognise the signs of cannabis cultivation happening in their neighbourhood. Many are also not familiar 34

tntMagazine.com

with the established links between this crime and serious organised crime.”

The initiative also tells residents to look for signs of drug-producing including “lots of cables” and the patently obvious “cannabis growing equipment”.

guinness world record is barking australia

Not only has it been named Australia’s most livable city, Adelaide now has a resident world recorder breaker.

Charlie, a six-year-old golden retriever, won a place after being awarded the title of Loudest Bark By An Individual Dog. His bark was measured at 113.1 decibels at a national competition which judges have now officially confirmed as the

loudest bark, outstripping a London-based German shepherd who barked a 108.

The amount of decibels is roughly 40 times louder than an average human conversation and noisier than the sound of an Airbus A380 taking off.

Owner Belinda Freebairn said she was proud of her pooch.

“He’s been getting spoilt a bit more than he normally does ... bathed a lot and brushed a lot and given lots and lots of cuddles.” Bet the neighbours are over the moon.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 9

Amount, in thousands of pounds, Network Rail is spending on robot birds to ward off pigeons in Edinburgh

Number, in thousands, of pieces of chewing gum used by artist Jeremy Leffon to create a geometrical structure

4

Dark days: the sign that greeted fans

29

THE END OF MARMAGEDDON...

The age, in years, men believe women reach their beauty peak, according to a study of 2000 guys in the States

NEW ZEALAND

Photos: Getty: AAP; imgur.com; Daniel Pietzsch flickr.com

It’s back! After supplies of Marmite ran out in March 2012, the sticky black stuff is finally being sold in New Zealand again.

Fans of the yeasty spread, which, let’s face it, is better than Vegemite, have been queuing outside supermarkets to get their much-needed fix.

Supplies dwindled after earthquakes in Christchurch forced manufacturer Sanitarium to close the only factory that made the New Zealand version.

The shortage sparked complaints across the country, including from PM John Key. “You’ve rationed, you’ve scraped, you’ve survived marmaggedon – now the wait is over!” Sanitarium’s website said.

“Thanks for not freaking out and waiting patiently for the black gold’s return.”

WHY DID THE SEA LION CROSS THE ROAD? BRAZIL

For a change of scenery and to check out the sights, of course.

The half-ton, three-metre beast emerged from the sea in the popular Brazilian resort of Balneário Camboriú, crossing the beach to take a look around.

Local firefighters and the municipal guard were called to the scene to stop traffic and control the crowds. The street was reportedly closed for 20 minutes as

Number of men turning up in A&E with ziprelated genital injuries in America in the past decade, a study reveals

We sea you lion there... the huge sea lion took his leisurely tour.

Officials threw water on the mammal to keep it wet. It returned to the ocean after 90 minutes on dry land, very obediently making use of the zebra crossing.

MILKMAN PUTS OUT FIRE WITH MILK AUSTRALIA

Queensland cafes found themselves without milk last week after it was used to put out a fire.

Milkman Shane Fuller was on his round in the early hours of Wednesday morning when he saw a planter box alight on a footpath.

“The flames were about half-a-metre high – some of the mulch and palms were starting to burn,” he said. “I just jumped in and made sure it couldn’t get any worse.

“I didn’t have water so I just grabbed some bottles of milk and just drenched it.”

We know Queensland has water restrictions, but this goes beyond the pale.

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK Deb was like, ‘Alright, sexy boy, take the garbage out!’ Then she questioned why they hadn’t picked Brad Pitt Hugh Jackman reveals his wife Deb’s reaction to the Aussie actor winning a Sexiest Man Alive accolade

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Log on every day and get your fill.

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

Neighbours: there’s nothing wrong with a healthy rivalry

Kangaroo-Kiwi comparison doesn’t do rivalry justice

Photos: Getty; TradeMe/ Andrew Lancaster

Survey says Oz wins, but not on stuff that matters, which Oz wins

It was an innocent survey to drum up a bit of interest in flights to the other side of the globe, but pitting Australia and New Zealand against each other as frivolously as Skycanner (see P49) did last week doesn’t give the rivalry it’s deserved credit.

Beaches, winter sports, sight-seeing and nature are hardly the battlegrounds to pit the two against each other. There’s far more important things to argue about at the pub.

Kiwis are smart enough not to pick a fight on weather, economy or immigration policy – the first is a given. The second is more complex, as they’ll defend their home turf like a Kiwi protecting its eggs, but still desert it like droves of their sheep thanks to the Aussies’ open-door policy for the little bro to come over the Tasman to live, work and play for the Wallabies (cheers Mike Harris). A bunch more are in the UK with us Aussies (hopefully reading TNT). NZ PM John Key calls Oz a “giant sucking machine” for luring the Kiwis’ best and brightest, but if he meant that he’d take Russell Crowe back. Seriously, take him back.

They lose their way trying to claim pavlova as their own. No one’s perfect.

Where New Zealand does get their back up is sport, as long as it’s one that they play, such as rugby (union or league), netball and select Olympic sports (like rowing). While Aussies get a bad rap for being chest-beaters, the Kiwis are definitely in the final. Some would call it a chip (said differently in both countries but ‘spilt’ the same) on their shoulder, or even little man’s syndrome, as the runt needs to fight harder to get to the teet – I call it a tradition of banter and pride in their culture that, despite their country having the population of Sydney, expects them to excel on the world stage.

Fact is, Australia and New Zealand have a big-little brother thing going. We fought in two world wars (Anzac doesn’t just mean the biscuits) and were in two Olympics (1908 and 1912) under the same flag. But that won’t stop us pulling each other’s hair, calling Richie McCaw a scumbag or admitting Dunedin’s a better place for a ‘romantic escape’. » Agree or disagree? Is Australia better than New Zealand? letters@tntmagazine.com

A CAT RUG? WRONG AND HOBBIT-SIZED It may be because I had an awesome ginger cat, a big fella called Oscar, as a kid, but making something that could have been someone’s pet into a rug is not on – the fact someone was willing to pay NZ$955 for it is even more off.

A New Zealand taxidermist preserved a ginger tabby he found dead, presumed wild or stray, on the side of the road and turned it into a tiger-style rug (see pic, inset).

He flogged it at auction website TradeMe as a “Large male in excellent condition.

Beautiful ginger/marmalade colour with

“

Any being’s death should be dignified

”

striking markings. Great little gift for the mancave!” Do hobbit’s have mancaves? It’ll hardly tie a large human room together.

Now I’ll be the last to strip off for PETA (you’re welcome), as I eat meat (the more humane the death the better but at 3am…) and wear leather, but the death of any being should be dignified. And the more respect shown it – whether in a burial or well-cared-for stew – the better.

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Small victory!

Immigration minister promises UKBA improvements as shocking figures reveal 49% rise in visa waiting times WORDS CAROL DRIVER It’s a small victory for the TNT UKBA Balls-Up campaign.

Just one month after launching our petition demanding improvements to Border Agency visa services, this week immigration minister Mark Harper took a step in the right direction. The Tory MP revealed UKBA is deploying more staff to front-line caseworking duties, while additional agency workers will be employed to deal with the backlog which causes many visa applicants issues. “These measures are already making inroads and I expect the agency to be operating within service standards across most workstreams by the spring of 2013,” he told the Commons.

Harper also revealed that channels of communication such as email and telephone will be expanded for a “more timely and responsive service” – one of the demands made in the TNT petition (see details, right). And he announced MPs dealing with constituents’ complaints will get a named contact for their queries.

“I am confident these measures represent the start of a period of further improvement,” he said, but admitted: “There is further work to be done.” A sentiment which support for our campaign echoes – as do worrying figures this week released by shadow immigration minister Chris Bryant. The Labour MP has uncovered that the number of Tier 2 applications taking longer than the UKBA’s four-week target to be processed have soared by 49 per cent since 2010 – from 14,940 to a whopping 22,315.

Bryant, who is backing our campaign, said: “If Britain’s economy is to improve, the UKBA has to shape up to allow the brightest and best from around the world to come here to contribute. These startling figures show that the government is failing to deliver.

“The prime minister, the home secretary and the mayor of London can make as many trips abroad as they want but until they get a grip of the chaotic mess at the UKBA, people will look to invest, work and study elsewhere. The PM should 38

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stop gallivanting around the world and instruct his home secretary to sort out her joke of a department.”

Whether Harper’s promises come to fruition remain to be seen – and will be something TNT follows closely.

However, until that point, keep your UKBA horror stories flooding in. If you haven’t yet signed our petition, visit tntmagazine.com/ukba or head to the Walkabout in Covent Garden on March 30 for its closing party where our campaigner Melanie Quin will be collecting signatures.

Sophie Roper: ‘I was treated like a criminal’ Kiwi Sophie Roper missed out on eight months of travelling while in the UK on a two-year working visa due to UKBA incompetency. The 26-year-old was forced to cancel trips and lost money after applying for a replacement visa when hers was stolen along with her passport while in Amsterdam in July 2012.

Roper received a letter confirming receipt of her application, along with a reference number and contact number. However, when she tried to call UKBA she was told she could not track the progress of her application until her passport had been missing for six months.

“Six months passed and I finally got through to someone but they could only tell me it was ‘in progress’,” she said.

Roper, who lives in Shepherd’s Bush, said the inefficiency of the Border Agency meant she had to miss out on trips abroad – the main reason she was in the UK. “I had to cancel travel plans and lost money. And I missed out on my only full summer in Europe.

“No one should have their belongings held from them for this long – you would think that this is how a criminal would be treated, not someone who only has two years in the UK and wants to see Europe while they are here.

“I paid £250 for my replacement visa, which has only just arrived. The UKBA needs to realise that its lack of efficiency

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Campaign: Sophie Roper

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Got a UKBA horror story? We want to hear all about it.

Email the details to carol.driver@tntmultimedia.com

Add your voice to TNT Magazine’s UKBA Balls-Up campaign to demand the government agency changes its policies so that:

✔ Every applicant receives correspondence when an application has been received ✔ Advice is then sent to all applicants detailing the process system and what it means for those wanting to work or travel ✔ Every applicant gets access to an emergency helpline which they can call for updates at any time, not only after six months ✔ The target for processing visas for those based in the UK who are eligible to work is reduced to three months ✔ A full refund is offered to applicants if their application takes longer than the target time if it is due to UKBA incompetency ✔ The amount of premium service appointments is increased – and a full refund is offered to applicants if the UKBA doesn’t adhere to the allotted 24-hour timescale ✔ Applicants wishing to extend visas to stay in the UK can do so before the ‘28 days before expiry’ deadline

NAME: ADDRESS: EMAIL: NATIONALITY: DOB: Send this form to Carol Driver, TNT Magazine, 111 Cannon Street, EC4N 5AR. Or email your details with ‘UKBA BallsUp’ in the subject to carol.driver@tntmultimedia.com

tntMagazine.com

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Katharine Plows and her partner David Bartholomeusz had to surrender their passports for nearly eight months while applying for a FLR-M unmarried partner visa.

Bartholomeusz came to the UK from Australia in 2010 on a Tier 1 Highly Skilled visa and sent in his application in July 2012, with Plows’ passport as his sponsor.

During this time, they were ignored by UKBA who failed to respond to letters, faxes and emails as well as numerous phone calls. They involved their MP, Streatham’s Chuka Umunna, but UKBA wrote back to him saying they couldn’t tell him anything about their application.

Plows, 25, who’s British, said: “I can say without a doubt that it was the most stressful 32 weeks we’ve had in our relationship. We were unable to go back to Australia for Christmas. We missed the birth of his brother’s son as well as friends’ weddings and babies.

“The hardest part was the fact that we had absolutely no control over the situation. David felt like he was being kept prisoner in the UK.” And it wasn’t just their travel plans put on hold. Plows and Bartholomeusz, 35, have jobs that require them to leave the country. “David’s work got very frustrated – especially as they opened a new office in the US during this time and needed him to train new employees. As for me, I also tour, but as David’s sponsor, I had to surrender my passport, paying £130 for a second one so that I could fulfil my duties.

“It was such a stressful time for us. We would welcome any pressure put on the government to reform the UKBA.”

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Katharine Plows: ‘We were ignored by UKBA’

tnt petition

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affects people’s travel plans in a big way, and they need to sort it out so this doesn’t continue to happen to others.”

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SPORTNEWS

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Pefectly timed Chen Ruolin and Liu Huixia of China won the gold medal in the women’s 10m synchro platform at the FINA Diving World Series 2013 in Dubai last week Dragon: Steve Menzies

taste of the nrl for veteran ‘beaver’ RUGBY LEAGUE

Footy iron man Steve ‘Beaver’ Menzies will get a taste of his former stomping ground the NRL when he takes on the London Broncos at the Twickenham Stoop on Thursday.

The Catalan Dragons backrower will face off against two of his former premiership teammates Michael Robertson and Shane Rodney, who he played with at Manly, in the match kicking off at 8pm.

Both sides have had a mixed year so far, just like their form against each other, with the past three meetings almost on even points with a convincing win each and the latest clash a 19-12 thriller to the Broncos.

MARLER NO MUG FOR QUINS: WALES’ JONES RUGBY UNION

After terrorising them in Wales’ 30-3 Six Nations stealing victory, prop Adam Jones has come to the defence of England rivals Joe Marler and Dan Cole.

The young big boppers were beaten comprehensively by their red counterparts, and have copped flak since, but Jones said they’re top players who will get better.

“People have come out and said that Marler was shocking, but he’s good,” Jones, one of the best in his position in the world, said. “I’d never played against him before and he’s a better prop than I thought he was.

“He’s only 22 and he’s excellent – both loose-heads were – and Dan Cole is only 25. They are only going to get better, and I’m pretty sure that come the World Cup England are going to be formidable.”

Marler will line up for Harlequins against Munster in next week’s Heineken Cup clash back at the Stoop.

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AUSSIES CAN STILL WIN ASHES: WAUGH CRICKET

With their Ashes hopes apparently in tatters after a flogging in India, the Australian team’s been given a vote of confidence from one of the game’s most respected voices, Steve Waugh.

The man who dubbed India “the final frontier” also brushed rumours that Michael Hussey and Ricky Ponting – both recently retired – would be recalled.

“When you’re losing, things get exaggerated a bit. Cricket-wise they’re just having some really bad sessions,” he said.

“They’ve got enough talent there, they’ve just got to get some confidence.

It’s a different series, different conditions … I think we can still win the Ashes.”

BIG WEEK FOR ...

No one expects too much of the GWS Giants, but this week’s round one derby against the defending premiers Sydney Swans is one game they’ll put pressure on themselves to perform in.

Big name signing Tom Scully (pictured) will also be keen to show their NAB upset over the notoriously slow season starter wasn’t a fluke when the two teams meet at ANZ Stadium.

At the same time, there’s no pressure, they’ve really just got to do better than last year’s shockers where they scored just 37 and 38 points against their cross city rivals.

tntMagazine.com

22/03/2013 13:09:21

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK The decision to retire is a big one. I know I put a lot of time and thought into making the one I did for the right reasons Surrey-bound former Aussie captain Ricky Ponting responds to rumours he’ll come back to help his ailing Ashes side

On fire: Danny Welbeck in action last time Man U met Chelsea

PREVIEW ODDS IN REDS’ FAVOUR FOR CUP REPLAY CHELSEA V MANCHESTER UNITED

MON, APRIL 1, 12.30PM, ITV1 The result could have been anything when Hernandez kicked off the scoring in the fourth minute and Wayne Rooney made it two in the 10th when these sides met in the FA Cup quarter.

But it wasn’t meant to be. Chelsea pegged it back, forced a 2-2 draw and that’s why they meet again on April Fool’s Day to decide who plays against Manchester City in the semi-final, the winner of which is expected to thrash

whoever comes through from the other semi – Millwall or Wigan Athletic.

Preparations will be mixed. Man U will have played Sunderland in their first match back from the international break (and City the following week), but having wrapped up the Premier League weeks ago the Blues can be sure they’ll face Fergie’s top line-up.

Chelsea have Southampton on the Saturday before this match, with every match a must-win for them in the topfour race. They’ll also have one eye on their Europa League clash three days later against Rubin Kazan.

THE CHAT | McKenzie in line for Wallabies

For my old man, I never play well. Since I was a kid I was scoring four goals and he still had something to criticise The world’s best player Lionel Messi, who’s father is a bit of a harsh judge

It was so hot when we started and by the end a huge storm was coming. I was trying to finish before it started Laura Robson, England tennis ace, on her motivation to win at the Miami Masters

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photo: Getty

CRICKET Does Ewen McKenzie’s announcement that Q he’ll be leaving the Queensland Reds at the end of this campaign make him Wallaby-bound?

It’s certainly a sign that he’s available, if not willing.

A The 2011 Super Rugby winning coach and former international prop himself has been long-touted as the alternative to Kiwi Robbie Deans, who many think should have walked long ago due to his side’s poor performances. But the ARU will have to move quick, as McKenzie, an advocate of the open rugby bean counters like, will be a red-hot show for the Ireland job after their Six Nations shocker. The ARU won’t want to upset the applecart too much before the 2015 World Cup, but two years out may be more than convenient timing.

India v Australia Day five of the fourth Test Tue, 4am, Sky Sports 1

FOOTBALL Brazil v Russia International friendly at Chelsea Mon, 7.30pm, ITV4

FOOTBALL Contender: McKenzie

Fulham v QPR Battle between the battlers Mon, 8pm, Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Need for speed From Down Under to the City to the racetrack, Aussie Tania Mann is one driven lady WORDS ALASDAIR MORTON

“I always had an insatiable need for speed and after seeing racing on TV as a child I dreamed of racing cars,” Victorian racing driver Tania Mann tells us ahead of her about-to-go second season of competitive motorsport in Britain. Mann, we quickly learn, is one hell of a driven lady.

With a love of racing which she, in part, attributes to her motorcycle-racing father, Mann left her Anglesea home as a teen and came to the UK. She left to “explore the world” and race cars, too, but in her 20s moved into finance. While she’s now pitched up at London finance firm UBS, the aim to fully realise her petrol head passion is also being fulfilled.

“My finance career in the UK facilitated [my racing] by funding my initial track days,” she explains of her early steps into motorsport. There were few chances for track racing back home on the coast, so she arrived here with little racing experience. This didn’t stop her becoming a success, though.

In mid 2010, she bought a Porsche 911 997 Turbo and set about acquainting herself with track days. “I immediately loved it and felt at home,” she recalls. Follow-up runs at Brands Hatch in Kent and at Spa Francorchamps in Belgium followed. In 2011, she stepped out to compete for the first time in the Lotus Cup UK. “It was exhilarating and I loved every minute of it,” she recalls excitedly. “I’d only done a few track days before my first race and didn’t know any of the circuits I was racing on, so initially I was very much driving on instinct alone. Looking back I had no idea what I was doing.

“As the season progressed I learned about concepts such as under and oversteer and car set-up, but I was still very green behind the wheel.”

With a year in the Lotus under her belt, Mann moved up last year to the Porsche Carrera Cup GB for its 10th annual season, and she attacked it with the same gusto you might expect from someone whose singular mindset saw her overcome the fact she’d only just completed enough Lotus 42

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races to qualify for a licence to race in the Porsche Cup. “I relished the opportunity to race with some of the best GT drivers in the world,” she recalls, a year on from her debut season, seeing the challenges as positives, a trait that characterises her approach.

“It was an opportunity to learn from the best. The GT3 Cup car was far more powerful [than the Lotus] and with slicks this made it an incredible thrill. When I first got behind the wheel and acclimatised to the speeds of the Porsche, there was some nervousness,” she says. Big understatement.

If there were nerves, though, it didn’t show, as Mann became the first woman to complete a full series in the PCC GB. Not just commended for completing the season, she was

“

I was driving very much on instinct alone

”

also crowned the vice-champion of Pro-Am2 – meaning the runner-up in her division within the series.

“I felt fortunate to have had such a phenomenal experience and proud I followed my dreams,” she says, before revealing what really goes in to making it: “I have had to sacrifice all other elements of my life, but it is so rewarding that I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Add to this a fervent training regime (see right) and it is clear to see how and why racing does not come cheap, nor without personal sacrifice.

Funding and sponsorship is a big element of making it in a sport where competition is as fierce for financing as it is on the track, but Mann’s business background puts her on a good course, understanding the needs to make herself

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22/03/2013 13:03:32

Clockwise: with Aussie inspiration, F1 star Mark Webber; hitting the decks at Heaven; at full tilt on track

marketable to prospective sponsors.

“There are some phenomenal series in the UK and around Europe and it is important to consider the exposure on TV, so it makes sponsoring me an attractive prospect,” she recalls of her target-savvy approach.

And, by her own admission, she has a “maths brain” and is a natural at working with the complex data that is so vital in motorsport. This comes as no shock, considering she has Science and Commerce degrees, plus post-graduate studies in Applied Finance and Investment, which both helps her improve times and balance the books.

And Mann’s no longer an instinct-only driver. Racing has always been full of competing character styles – Ayrton Senna’s flamboyant rock star showboating compared to the Brazilian’s then rival, Frenchman Alain Prost and his calm, controlled racing. Mann appears to draw a little of both into the mix – possessing the instinct and drive to get out there and make it against the odds (her maths brain has no doubt illustrated to her how the odds can be stacked against her), but with the number-crunching consideration in the pits and the garage to maximise the performance of her team.

“I’m constantly networking and working on car-related projects, which I not only find fun but help raise my profile further,” adds the driver, who’s also DJ’d in clubs such as Heaven and Turnmills, and played with Armin van Buuren.

With both Lotus and Porsche seasons under her belt, Mann’s aiming to step it up again this year, and is now finalising funding to compete in either the Ferrari Challenge, Porsche Carrera Cup or British GT. Whichever series gets Mann’s patronage, though, you can bet this Aussie lass is going to make an impression.

The Porsche Carrera Cup GB series begins on March 31 at Brand’s Eynsford taniamann.com Hatch, Kent DA3 8NG

training for the track mann’s muscle mission Getting fit behind the scenes is no small measure for Tania Mann, who has ramped up her intense training regime “to be stronger for this year”.

“I also took up cycling to improve my stamina and can now comfortably ride for many hours a day – one to three hours a day is normal, but I can easily do double this,” she says.

Add to this her demanding job at UBS. “I’m currently contracting as the finance lead for a large IT programme,” she says. “However, my dream would be to secure sufficient funding to race full-time.”

It is clear to see the sacrifices that have to be made to make it and Mann has tunnel vision for her goals.

“It’s exhausting juggling both a banking and racing career,” she says. “But I’m so passionate about my racing that I will do whatever it takes to get me out on the grid!”

tntMagazine.com

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: ALASDAIR MORTON alasdair.morton@tntmagazine.com

Substitution: new FA chairman Greg Dyke

Time for the FA to stop the rot and get its game face on New chairman Greg Dyke has an uphill battle to restore respect

» Agree or disagree? Does the FA need shaking up? letters@tntmagazine.com 44

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One race into the new season and Lewis Hamilton has already thrown in the towel.

OK, he hasn’t quite. After qualifying third and finishing fifth in the opening Grand Prix in Australia, Lewis said of his new team, Mercedes: “I’m aiming for consistency but in terms of performance we don’t have that pure speed to compete for the title.” So why not overcome your mechanical shortcomings with the verve and skill of racing? Formula 1 is not a straight track. Unrealistic, you say?

Switching to Mercedes for this year was widely debated by pundits and fans.

“

Stop being realistic and go for the title

”

Was he moving to win the title? Did he simply want more money? Whatever your thoughts, this naturally driven racer is not normally known for his passivity and enjoyment of crossing the line second.

But it wasn’t Red Bull or Ferrari that won in Melbourne, it was Lotus. So stop being realistic Lewis, and go for the title.

Photo: Getty

The FA has revealed Greg Dyke will take over as chairman of the Football Association from July. Dyke’s business background and football passion stands him in good stead for the role, but he has a lot to do if the game’s governing body in the UK is to regain any sense of respect among players and fans. A lot.

Former BBC director general Dyke is a football fan and current Brentford FC chairman.

But he has an uphill struggle to win back faith in the FA, twice described as not fit for purpose in the last week by former Liverpool CEO Rick Pary and by Newcastle FC. Current head David Bernstein took over after England spectacularly failed to win hosting rights to the 2018 World Cup, and had to deal with the nastiness surrounding the John Terry race row and England coach Fabio Capello’s exit from the then cack-handedly run ship littered full of holes. Dyke is fortunate that he will join at a time of comparative calm, but the issues he has to contend with are equally as prominent if not as front-page friendly.

Firstly, he must continue to curtail the Premier League’s foolhardy and, depending on your viewpoint, unfair, financial rules. Clubs must spend based on their income. A fairer, more stable competition would result. Encouragingly, Dyke’s said he is a “big fan of financial fair play”, but proving the Premier League is the world’s best will be far trickier.

The Premiership is the most widely known, but the best? In 2008, three of the last four teams in the Champions League were from the Premier League (Man Utd beat Barcelona, too). This year, none made it to the quarter finals. Arsenal’s Arsene Wenger said it was “a wake up call” and it’s one Dyke must heed. Equally so the perception of the FA as ineffectual and indecisive – it’s decision not to punish Wigan’s Callum McManaman for an ugly tackle on Newcastle’s Massadio Haidara last week (for which he was not even booked during the match) merely compounded its public image as a cowardly bystander.

Tackling these will be Dyke’s chief responsibility. Let’s hope he is fit for purpose.

F1 WHINING WILL WIN LEWIS NOTHING

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

22/03/2013 16:47:09

Advertorial

Destination Moscow Head to Russia for the Rugby World Cup Sevens 2013 Rugby Sevens will make its Olympic debut at the Rio Games in 2016 and the sport is experiencing unprecedented profile and growth ahead of then.

But there is no need to wait until 2016 to see the sport’s best athletes in action. The Rugby World Cup Sevens 2013 takes place in Moscow between June 28 and 30 and it promises to be a fun-packed three-day festival of rugby, music and entertainment. Moscow’s iconic Luzhniki Stadium, host of the 1980 Olympic Games and the 2008 UEFA Champions League final, will be the venue for the tournament which features 24 men’s and 16 women’s teams.

A three-day festival Anyone who has been to a major Rugby Sevens tournament will know that it’s not just about the action on the field.

A three-day celebration of sport, music and entertainment sums the experience up perfectly – and Moscow promises to deliver exactly this.

With a major music act to be announced shortly, as well as other Russian bands set to play across the tournament, fans are guaranteed non-stop entertainment on and off the pitch.

And with the Luzhniki Stadium perfectly situated just a short Metro ride from the heart of Moscow, fans have the opportunity to experience one of the world’s most exciting, vibrant and historic cities in mid-summer against the backdrop of perfect weather.

Photo: IRB

Incredible rugby The game’s governing body, the International Rugby Board, hopes to grow the sport beyond its traditional heartlands, and the RWC Sevens 2013 taking place in Russia aims to do exactly this. With matches just 15 minutes long, involving incredible athletes and super-quick turnarounds, the tournament promises to be the most exciting and spectacular sports event in the world this year.

All of the rugby powerhouses will be in Moscow –

Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, England, Wales and France – as well as emerging teams from Brazil, the Netherlands, China and the US. In the initial pool stage, men’s defending champions Wales will face the likes of Fiji and Tonga, while Australia have France in their group. South Africa’s early opposition will include home team Russia, while New Zealand will face the emerging talents of the US and Canada.

The women’s draw promises early excitement with defending champions Australia pitted against South Africa – but watch out for Brazil, who could even be a medal contender on home soil at Rio 2016.

Experience amazing Moscow When the rugby and music ends each day, fans can experience the full glory of Russia’s capital.

The ancient city has always been a haven for history buffs.

The red-brick towers of the Kremlin occupy the founding site of Moscow; churches and monuments remember fallen heroes and victorious battles; and remains of the Soviet state are scattered all around the city.

World-class venues such as the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts are experimenting and expanding. Tchaikovsky and Chekhov are well represented at Moscow’s theatres but you can also see world premieres by up-and-coming composers, choreographers and playwrights.

Foodies will enjoy an array of wine bars, coffee and sushi bars, while night owls can experience a dynamic scene of exclusive nightclubs, bohemian art cafés, and underground blues bars. There’s something for everyone!

With numerous airlines now flying direct to Moscow from London, including easyJet, British Airways, Aeroflot and Transaero, plus a simplified visa process for tournament ticket holders, this June is the perfect time to experience rugby and Russia. For tournament and ticket information:

rwcsevens.com

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | TRAVEL TIPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP IMAGE OF THE WEEK

PUPPET POWER! A woman checks out the ninots (puppets) in Valencia, Spain, which will later be burned as part of the Las Fallas festival celebrations.

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

INSIDE

SHELLING OUT /50

EASTER BREAKS /58

LEST WE FORGET /62

We head to the windswept coast of Cornwall to sample the fresh and salty delights of the locally grown oysters.

Had quite enough of the grey and bleak?

Make the most of the Easter bank holiday with a break somewhere warm and exotic.

Anzac Day in Turkey – a poignant tribute to fallen soldiers of the past and a chance to further explore this fascinating country.

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TRAVELDIARY Helen Elfer

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Best of the fiestas: Feria de Abril

TRAVEL EDITOR

SLOW TRAIN COMING I know I’m late to the party on the slow travel movement. But after one too many hellish airport experiences I’m sold – train travel is where it’s at.

Airports are where dignity goes to die. During my last visit to the circus that is Luton Airport, I ended up standing on a mud-streaked floor, in my socks, trying to pump body lotion from a 125ml tube into a 100ml contact lens solution bottle, having already transferred the last dregs of that into an empty plastic tub. Splashes of saline on the floor, blobs of pink moisturising goop on my jeans, laptop wedged between my elbow and ribcage, passport in my teeth, boarding pass god knows where. OK, I should be more organised, but call that a good start to a holiday? I think not.

In contrast, I recently took an overnight train from Paris to Madrid (with raileurope.co.uk). It took roughly five times as long and was easily 10 times as much fun. I walked straight from the streets of Paris onto the train, without the smallest bit of faff. I even stopped a guard to ask if it was OK for me to bring a bottle of wine on board – he said something in French which I believe translated as, “Why would I give a toss?”. Next thing I was drinking my €5 bottle of plonk as I watched the light fade over the French countryside we were whizzing through. I woke up at dawn to see Spanish hills outside the window and a few hours later, then had fresh coffee and croissants from the breakfast car before rolling into Madrid.

If, as the slow travellers say, it’s all about enjoying the journey, then when it comes to trains vs planes, there’s simply no contest.

helen.elfer@tntmagazine.com

Want all the best bits of Spain crammed into a couple of days? Hit Seville’s Feria de Abril then, where more than one million people blow 16-21 off steam with a week of tapas munching, wine guzzling, horse riding and flamenco dancing. Now that sounds like a party. Look out for the casetas – rows of candy-striped marquee tents where you can get on the local sherry.

APRIL

WHY: Now famous for its all-night sevillanas (folk dances with music), this festival began as a humble cattle fair in the late 1840s.

However, it didn’t take long before the Sevillanos decided that it would be much more fun to ditch the cows and throw a massive fiesta instead.

NAGHOL FESTIVAL Vanuatu

Land diving rituals take place throughout April on 1-30 Pentecost Island. In a less safe version of the bungee jump, people leap off a 30m tower while secured only by two tree vines wrapped around their ankles. Tourists are allowed to take the plunge alongside islanders. Good luck.

APRIL

pentecostisland.net

COW CHIP THROWING

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seville-traveller.com

TAKAYAMA FLOAT FEST

Japan

Locals don their traditional costumes and drag a dozen 14-15 2000-pound floats decorated with ornate carvings and metal ornaments around the city for this festival. At night, more than 100 paper lanterns illuminate the floats for a beautiful traditional spectacle.

APRIL

jnto.go.jp

TOONIK TYME

Canada

US

Watch sled dog races, build igloos, race snowmobiles, 12-20 and play snow golf at this wintry festival or if you’re really up for it, there are much more gruesome contests taking place, including seal skinning and eating earthworms.

APRIL

Tired of taking shit? Throw it right back at the Cow Chip 20 Throwing Championships in Oklahoma. The person who pitches the hardened bovine poop the furthest wins. That is all.

APRIL

beavercountychamberofcommerce.com

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DO IT BECAUSE: There’s a relaxed family vibe during the day, but at night the real fun starts when bottles of wine and sherry are cracked open, the bars are packed and the parties go on until the small hours of the following morning.

uk.canada.travel

Photos: Getty

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Australia vs nz Australia has trumped New Zealand in the battle of the best of Down Under, according to a survey by travel search site Skyscanner.net. More than 1200 travellers were asked to vote for which country they thought was better, according to various tourism categories that included winter sports, luxury escapes, adventure travel and food. Oz came out on top in seven of the 12 categories, including beaches, city breaks and sightseeing. It also won the vote for best service. All wasn’t lost for the Kiwis, however, as New Zealand came out top in the winter sports category, as well as adventure travel, nature and wildlife, and romantic breaks.

Photo: Thinkstock

cash flow hitch Anyone heading for Cyprus’s sunny shores on holiday is advised by the Foreign Office to make sure they have several ways to access money while they’re travelling to avoid being left short. The country’s banking crisis has led the Cypriot government to take several measures to protect its financial sector, including preventing electronic money transfers to stop bank customers withdrawing their savings.

Many retail outlets aren’t accepting plastic at the moment, and there are also fears of a shortage of currency at ATMs on the island. So bring as much cash as you’ll need for your holiday.

Better beaches: Oz’s Bondi trumps the Kiwi versions

gossip tour bus The New York Post, notorious for its excitable coverage of celebrity scandal, is branching out into tourism. A double-decker bus will take gossip-hungry travellers for “a ride on the wild side of the city”, visiting locations connected to the daily’s most sensational scoops. Each week the tour is updated, but passengers can expect to see locations of classic tabloid scandals such as the Plaza Hotel, where Charlie Sheen had a highly publicised alleged breakdown in 2011. The Post covered the story with the headline: “TRASHED! Sheen in coke and hooker fuelled rampage at The Plaza.”

india harassment A London woman was injured after leaping from a hotel balcony in Agra, India, because she feared being raped by the hotel’s manager.

The woman in her 30s, from Greenwich, said the manager of the hotel had knocked on her door at 3.45am saying he wanted to give her an oil massage. She claimed that when she refused, he spent the next hour trying to get into her room, until she resorted to jumping through her window, tearing a ligament in her foot. The hotel manager, who has been arrested and charged, claims the woman had asked for a wake-up call the day before.

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Cornish cliffs: the view from a walk off Mawgan Porth beach

Eat, drink, sleep

Mawgan Porth

Wild Café is Bedruthan’s family-friendly food space pumping out stellar local specials and easy-pleasing diner fare. Mains average around £10.

Cornwall

bedruthan.com/foodanddrink

GETTING THERE Take the train from London Paddington to Bodmin Parkway from £30 return (if purchased in advance). firstgreatwestern.co.uk

More formal The Herring is stylish and ideal for a special occasion, but the focus is still on the plate. Three courses for £35.

United Kingdom

mawgan porth CORNWALL

bedruthan.com/foodanddrink

The Scarlet hotel is slightly closer to the beach, and pricier, but worth ducking into for one of their stellar cocktails, priced from £10-£14. thescarlethotel.com

The Merrymoor Inn is a friendly pub with a bar looking along the beach and does top pub grub. Pints £3.20+. merrymoorinn.com

The massive Bedruthan Hotel and Spa has views over the Atlantic, plus indoor and outdoor pools. Great for a romantic break or with a group of mates.

Rooms from £135pn with breakfast. bedruthan.com

Clockwise: pretty Padstow; the writer getting stuck in; preparing oysters [Caption] 50

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The budget option for Mawgan Porth, Marver Holiday Park, has powered sites and chalets 150 yards from the beach. Chalets from £200 per week. Pitch fee is £11+ per night.

(Tel. 016 3786 0493)

UKTRIP

Out of the shell So close yet so far from the tourist traps, this chilled slice of Cornwall tickles the tastebuds

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; TNT, VisitBritainImages

WORDS MICHAEL GADD

Sperm and herpes – the first words that sprung to mind when asked about my weekend. I hadn’t been on a debaucherous Miami ‘spring break’. Not Newcastle. Not even Newquay, which I’m told is a wild night out. But I’m close, on Cornwall’s stunning north coast. It’s packed in summer, but I find it a quiet treat in the chill, where you can drink, stroll, relax, eat like a king and learn more than is necessary about oysters.

I arrive at Bedruthan Hotel and Spa at Mawgan Porth, between famed holiday spots Padstow and Newquay, on a Friday night. We’re here to go “oyster hunting” (a misleading term, but more on that later) tomorrow, one of the many themed craft and food breaks the hotel offers. The area’s obsession with the digestible is proven immediately. The hotel has two restaurants, Wild Cafe (the laid-back one with wellpriced seasonal fare) and The Herring (the fancy one which puts a delicate twist on the best the area has to offer). But our first taste comes at the bar where I spy four unlabelled bottles.

Turns out they’re infused boozes – lemon, raspberry and strawberry vodkas and slough gin – made with mostly foraged goodies by The Herring’s head chef. Careful not to fuss with their simplicity, ice is their best mate … and mine.

Through the blissful haze of a hangover that comes only on a morning where the night before had no additives, I’m given the perfect wake-up – an unending Atlantic view through my window dotted with a keen half-dozen surfers waiting patiently for waves. The headland at either end of the beach invites the explorer in me to have a gander. It takes five minutes to get to the beach and five more until I could be anywhere. I scale the path up Bedruthan Steps, the right-side mound which gives the hotel its name, and civilisation is gone – blue to the left, green fields to my right and rugged clifffaces over every turn. The raw beauty of the coast reminds me of the oysters I’ll be devouring – sweet beauty with a gnarly exterior. And I’m so relaxed I nearly miss my ride to the farm.

A 30-minute drive to Porthilly leads our tour group to dairy farmer and oyster grower Tim Campbell. From Tim’s oyster plot on the tideline of the Camel Estuary, a short walk along the beach, we have a perfect view of Padstow. When I comment in its favour, Tim tells me, “That’s the best look you’ll get of it.” Since he’s showing us his racks which produce a Pacific variety so good the French pay a mint for them and rate them ‘spéciales’ (the tier below perfect), Tim must be protourist. But he reckons his neighbours across the water have

been overrun. I ask if it’s the TV fame of the town’s fave son, Rick Stein, that’s done the damage, and he agrees with a nod.

Conversely, his spiel about how his farm came to be – a marine academic tried to grow oysters on his family’s land, thought he failed, gave up, and then they grew like wildfire – and pride at his waters being among the most pristine in the UK is worthy of an episode of Stein’s Food Heroes. The journey through the cleaning, sorting and purifying process is mechanical, but interesting. Tim’s a showman, even if he doesn’t realise it. “They make crap pets, so we’ve got to get rid of them,” he says deadpan. His warning against ‘milky’ oysters hits home, too – “it means they’re spawning, so

“

Not even a shell full of spunk can turn me off

”

you’re basically … eating sperm”. Lesson learned. He doesn’t even sound bitchy when he tells us about how some oysterproducing regions in the UK and France – but not his – are struggling with “herpes”. Oysters get herpes?!

But not even a shell full of spunk or the risk of a shellfish STI can turn me off the next bit. Accepting the “hunting” the promo material talks about means a tour of a farming process, we try a few pristine fat morsels. When Tim says, “If you want any more, you can shuck them yourself,” I go for it. With us is Darren Milgate, sous chef from the hotel, who makes a heavenly wild garlic (foraged, of course), hazelnut and rapeseed oil pesto to go with them. The passionate foodie then takes us back to base for a cooking demo. He shucks more oysters – some to tempura and serve with pickled rock samphire (from nearby cliffs) or poach in celery soup. You can help as much or little as you like. Some of our group choose to chill out with the view.

Others, like me, get stuck in. That’s the Snap happy: beauty here – you can take your pick.

NEXT WEEK

Oyster Hunting runs next on Oct 19. Costs £275pp for two nights bedruthan.com

Capture Cumbria on camera

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LATEDEALS

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A nine-day Turkey tour, including Istanbul, costs from £299pp with Travel Talk

DEAL OF THE WEEK Amsterdam break

£184

A two-night stay with easyJet Holidays (holidays.easyjet.com; 0843 1041000). Includes flights and four-star, B&B accommodation at the Fashion Hotel. Departs London Southend on April 22.

< £250

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turkey A nine-day day Essential Turkey tour costs £299pp (2-4-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes fiveand four-star accommodation, some meals and visits to Istanbul, Troy and more. Price excludes flights and local payment. Book by March 31. Departs April 6.

INDONESIA An eight-day tour of Lombok island costs from £491pp with Intrepid Travel (0844 499 8487; intrepidtravel.com). Includes guesthouse accommodation, seven meals, local transport. Excludes flights.

Book by April 2. Departs from Ubud on April 6.

Italy A seven-night stay costs £296pp with easyJet Holidays (holidays.easyjet.com; 0843 104 1000). Includes return flights and fourstar, half-board accommodation at the Torbole Club Hotel La Vela. Departs London Luton on April 15.

> £500 Val d’Isere A seven-night ski trip to Val d’Isere in France costs £549pp (save £400) with Powder White (powderwhite.com; 020 8877 8888). Includes fully catered chalet accommodation at the Chalet Appaloosa. Excludes flights. Departs on April 6.

Spain A nine-day best of Spain tour costs from £584pp (Save 10 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com).

Includes three- and four-star hotel and hostel accommodation, plus some meals. Excludes flights. Book by March 31; departs June 9.

Sharm El Sheikh A seven-night stay is £502pp with easyJet Holidays (holidays.easyjet.com; 0843 1041000). Includes return flights and five-star, all-inclusive accommodation at the Marriott Sharm Mountain Resort. Departs London Luton on April 30.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS Go to tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

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Money transfers Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa.

Transfer fees from £1 For live transfer rates, visit tntforex.com or call 0870 898 8996

Exchange rates* Australian dollar 1.46 New Zealand dollar 1.83 South African rand 13.4 Polish złoty 4.82 Euro 1.17 US dollar 1.51 Canadian dollar 1.56 Hong Kong dollar 11.9 Swedish krona 9.8 Swiss franc 1.41 Singapore dollar 1.88 Why use tntforex?

n Great rates n No hidden bank fees n Faster transactions n Easy-to-use online systems n Safe, secure and fully compliant

n Unrivalled customer service * Transfer rates are as of March 19,

2013. Please note that these are mid market rates in relation to GBP

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Berlin A three-night stay costs £200pp with STA Travel (0800 9880390; statravel.co.uk).

Includes return flights and room-only, four-star accommodation at the Excelsior hotel. Prices are based on two people sharing. Valid for travel between April 1 and May 1. Flights depart from London Heathrow.

Morocco An eight-day tour costs from £239pp (2-4-1) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes fourstar accommodation, some meals, visits to Fes, Marrakech, Casablanca and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Book by March 31.

Departs April 20.

Croatia A five-day trip costs from £199pp with Sail Croatia (0800 1938289; sail-croatia.com).

Includes half-board accommodation in a below deck cabin and the services of an experienced on-board tour guide.

Sails one-way from Dubrovnik to Split with stops. Excludes flights. Valid for travel on Saturday departures throughout April.

PORTUGAL A seven-night stay in the Algarve costs from £185pp with lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6271). Includes return flights and B&B accommodation at the Plaza Real Aparthotel in Praia da Rocha. Prices based on two people sharing. Departs from London Stansted on April 23.

£250 – £500

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PATRICIA MONTENEGRO Talks travel photography

WINNER

3-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND + PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

WIN

Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

RUNNER-UP

WINNER

RUNNER-UP

SOULFUL PERFORMERS Ashwini Kapoor, United Kingdom

CAMEL OR VAN? Jimmy Matthews, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS This vibrant feast for the eyes was taken by Ashwini on the eve of Indian Independence Day at Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan in West Kensington. “The event was full of loads of colours with some amazing Indian classical dance performances,” Ashwini tells TNT. “But this group of dancers just caught my eye – their brightly coloured attire and expressions were stupendous.” We love the way Ashwini nailed the contrast of the light, dark of the shadows and those miraculous shades of red, gold and more.

WHY IT WORKS Modern(ish) meets historic modes of getting around in this shot from Jimmy, taken during a 10-day drive around the Gobi Desert in Mongolia. “The van was what I was driving in, while the camel was being used by a nomadic family as their way of getting from A to B – not that they really had a ‘B’ to get to!” Jimmy says. “I thought this was a cool shot that shows two different forms of ‘desert transport’ and says a bit about the two different types of people that use them.” Couldn’t agree more.

WHERE IN THE WORLD?

A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE

WIN

Going away somewhere soon?

Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world.

Files must be at least 500Kb.

WASHINGTON DC, US

Tegan Goodman, from New Zealand TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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22/03/2013 13:02:06

TOP FIVE

1

xxxxxx film locations

@tntmagazine

xxxx, xx pondicherry, india

Sometimes the star of a film is a highly paid Hollywood hotshot. Sometimes it’s a movie’s soundtrack that gets people talking, or the costumes that steal the show. But for travellers, it’s often a stunning location, displayed in glorious technicolour on the big screen that makes a scene stay in your mind for days afterwards.

If film fests had a ‘best for inspiring travel’ category (and they really should), Ang Lee’s Life Of Pi would have been a clear winner in the past year – in addition to the zillions of awards it actually did collect.

Many of the scenes were shot in the low-key, coastal town of Pondicherry, and were shot so beautifully they made a visit to the rugged coastline and the pretty town skyrocket to the top of everyone’s travel wishlist.

Unsurprisingly, Pondicherry has seen a 250 per cent increase in tourism since the film’s release as visitors have been flocking to see the location first-hand, in particular the marigold-strewn market where Pi and his girlfriend locked eyes, the lush gardens and parks 54 00

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around the town and the amazing French colonial architecture.

There’s plenty more to see in Pondicherry, even if you’re not a film geek. The former capital of French India has changed hands between the French and the English multiple times over the past few centuries, but the French colonial influences on the town are still very distinctive – the streets are called ‘Rue’, while the Aayi Mandapam is an Arc d’Triomphe-style, Napoleon III-era memorial, and French colonial houses are found throughout.

Leafy streets are lined with chic, Parisian-style boutiques that sell saris, jewellery and antiques. Plus, of course, there’s miles of that rough and romantic coast to go strolling along.

Just don’t go looking for the zoo while you’re there – it doesn’t exist.

The town’s botanical gardens served as the filming location for that and apparently it’s not quite as lush as it appears in Life Of Pi – Lee went on a 10-day planting spree to prepare it for filming. pondicherry.net.in

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2

paris, france

We all know it wasn’t Russell Crowe’s unsteady operatics in Les Miserables that spurred the 45 per cent increase in tourism to Paris.

Although much of the movie was filmed in England, the musical rekindled movie-goers’ interest in the French Revolution. Les Mis fans can’t get enough of Place de la Concorde, the location of many beheadings and the Conciergerie where MarieAntoinette was imprisoned. en.parisinfo.com

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

4

tokyo, japan

Tourism to Tokyo dipped after the devastating earthquake of 2011. But even the threat of tremors aren’t enough to put off Hugh Jackman’s most devoted groupies.

The Wolverine isn’t even being released until the summer this year, but there has already been a spike in bookings to Japan’s capital. Eager to get a glimpse of the edgy, futuristic Tokyo shown in early-release clips, fans have been heading to neon-lit Roppongi area and the Tokyo Tower. gotokyo.org

3

ko phi phi Leh, Thailand

Manor house magic

Of course Ko Phi Phi Leh is beautiful, and combined with the allure of a shirtless Leo DiCaprio, the tourist pull proved devastating.

This Thai island, which can only be reached by a ferry that sets off once per day, used to be reserved for only the most adventurous tourists. But after DiCaprio frolicked in the waves in The Beach, tourists swamped the place, which is why access is now limited to preserve its paradisiacal beauty. tourismthailand.org

5

forks, us

Never underestimate the touristdrawing power of a sexy vampire.

The ultimate Twi-hard pilgrimage is to the sleepy town of Forks in Washington, aka home to Twilight’s floppy-haired vamp Edward (R-Patz, above).

The movie trilogy caused a truly staggering 1000 per cent increase in bookings for lodgings in the Pacific Northwest town. Here fans can visit sights of ‘interest’ (in the loose sense of the term), such as the school Bella attended or her house. forkswa.com

Macdonald crutherland house overview For a taste of the Scottish countryside that doesn’t cut the credit card in half, this hotel and resortstyle accommodation just out of East Kilbride could be the answer. Set on 37 acres of pristine green parkland, with peaceful views in every direction, it’s still just a 20-minute drive from Glasgow. The entire complex feels like you’re staying in a massive manor house – part of it used to be one – and the spa facilities include a pool, sauna, steam room and beauty centre. It also has a two AA Rosette restaurant. wow factor If you want hustle and bustle, this isn’t the place. If you want peace and relaxation, now you’re talking. It actually feels like you’re on a golf course – you aren’t, but the Torrance House Golf Club is two minutes away. rooms Spacious and varied, all have seating areas while many have country views. bill, please Classic double rooms from £62pn.

Strathhaven Rd, East Kilbride, G75 0QZ macdonaldhotels.co.uk

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THE INSIDER: SEOUL

Unmissable: Georgia’s capital Tbilisi

PAUL WADEY Public Relations Manager Korean Cultural Centre UK

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

Q I’m visiting Tbilisi (Georgia) for two

weeks and want to travel down to Yerevan (Armenia) visiting some rural areas in both countries. I fly out of Tbilisi so have to get back there on the last day. Can you advise on which places are unmissable?

Kay Buck, via email A That sounds like an interesting trip, but do

READERS’ TIPS ON ANZAC DAY TOURS BOOK EARLY! I read that the 2015 tours marking the centenary of the Gallipoli landing are already selling fast, so if anyone’s still hoping to get a place for this year, you’d better get your skates on!

Kelvin Marr, via email TOUGH TREK It’s a steep, 3km hike from Anzac Cove to the site of the memorial ceremonies, so make sure you’re fit enough.

Sally Ong, via email 56

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be aware there are parts of both Georgia and Armenia that are not currently safe to travel to, namely the areas bordering or within the separatist regions of South Ossetia or Abkhazia in Georgia and the areas close to the border of Armenia and Azerbaijan. Therefore, a route which travels south from Tbilisi in Georgia, towards Yerevan in Armenia, taking in the World Heritage monasteries of Haghpat and Sanahin

and going on to the Garni Temple in Armenia, would be a good option.

The Garni is a restored Hellenic temple, which looks like a mini version of the Parthenon.

The monastery at Geghard, which is an ancient, slightly spooky half-cathedral and half-cave, is definitely an unmissable spot.

Also, close to Yerevan is another ancient site worth including in your trip, the ruins of Zvartnots Cathedral. It was reputedly one of the most beautiful churches in the world and a number of impressive columns remain.

Next, continue further onto the Yeghegis Valley, which is an impressive landscape of towering peaks dotted with churches. If you have time and the weather is favourable, head north to Sevan, which is a bustling little lakeside town with a popular beach.

What would be your first recommended stop in Seoul?

Gangnam area is a mix of supermodern department stores intermingled with shops selling vintage clothes. It’s young, trendy, affluent and visitors are more than likely to spot a celebrity here.

How can tourists experience ‘Gangnam style’?

Take a Korean Tourism Organisation tour to experience the area in true Gangnam celebrity fashion, including a trip to a beauty salon, posh brunch, designer shopping and rolling the dice in a casino.

And the dance...?

Yes, you can hone your ‘horse dance’ in one of many top nightclubs.

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Into the blue: set sail in Croatia [Caption] Roman ruins: the Colosseum

Easter bank holiday worldwide

In the saddle: cycling Portugal; and (right) a camel trek in Sharm el Sheikh

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Sunny Easter breaks Had quite enough of the grey and bleak? Make the most of the Easter bank holiday with a break somewhere warm and exotic Words Helen Elfer

The Easter bank holiday has one purpose, and it’s not stuffing your face with chocolate. Nope, it’s to reacquaint your pasty-white skin with its old friend – sunshine. The four-day weekend (with a couple of extra days tacked on either side if you can swing it) is the perfect time to head for sizzling climes, and there are plenty of destinations just a few hours away where the temperatures are soaring. Ride a camel on the beaches of Egypt’s Sharm el Sheikh, lie on a sunny boat deck as you sail past Croatia’s stunning coastline or head for the cultural sights of Rome.

Portugal: The biker’s break Fancy whizzing through lush Mediterranean landscapes on a bike, soft springtime breeze on your face? Pedalling past the Algarve’s dazzling blue coastline as the sun shimmers on the sea? Wobbling through a series of pretty vineyards, making numerous stops (hic!) whenever the mood takes you?

Yeah? Then you need to book yourself a cycling holiday in Portugal, where there’s a whole network of routes you can take, depending on your fitness level.

A popular and easy path is along the cliffs from Almograve to Odeceixe on Portugal’s southwest coast. Here you can cruise along largely flat roads and enjoy the rugged beach scenery.

Or for a much more challenging ride, Portugal Bike run a guided cycle through the centre of the country’s medieval villages. It starts in the small town of Marvão, and over the next few days you can expect lots of muscle-grinding hill climbs, scenic forest rides and blissfully steep descents that take you past old churches, castles and mountain villages.

The ride finishes up in Évora, a walled Roman town classified as a World Heritage site by Unesco.

Hilly Lisbon might not be the most bike-friendly of cities, but that’s not stopping tour group Portugal Best Cycling, which has devised a route that avoids the ascents yet still manages to take in most of the key sights. Their city bike tour starts at the top of Parque Eduardo VII near El Corte Inglés and finishes by the river Tagus in Torre de Belém, pointing out dining and drinking hotspots on the way.

MORE: There are heaps of cycling routes to drool over at portugalbike.com or portugalbestcycling.com.

GETTING THERE: Fly return from London Gatwick to Lisbon from £132pp with easyJet (easyjet.com).

Egypt: The beach break Anyone who has been craving baking sands over the past few chilly months in London, Egypt’s the destination for you.

It’s worth noting that there have been recent safety concerns for tourists, but the self-contained resorts in the Red Sea area, including Sharm el Sheikh, Taba, Nuweiba and Dahab are still considered safe to holiday in, according to the UK’s Foreign Office.

Sharm el Sheikh has miles of golden beaches for relaxing on if you’re planning a chilled break, but if you need more than a lounger to keep you entertained for a couple of days, there are plenty of activities on offer. Stick around on the sand for beach football and volleyball matches, or for something more exotic, camel rides, desert safari trips, Jeep and quad bike tours are also on offer. The area is famous for bustling evening bazaars to browse for bargains, plus enough bars and nightclubs to keep you out ‘til late.

MORE: See egypt.travel.

GETTING THERE: Fly from London Gatwick to Sharm el Sheikh from £129pp return with easyJet (easyjet.com). ››

[Caption] Sandy sports: beach volleyball in Egypt tntMagazine.com

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Croatia: The sailing break Taking a few days to hit the open sea is a must if you want to make the most of Croatia. An island-hopping tour should do the trick, giving you and your mates the chance to party on deck by night and explore some of the country’s prettiest sights by day.

Don’t miss out on visits to Mljet Island National Park to see the salt water lakes, the pretty harbour town of Trstenik on the Peljesac Peninsula, and Korcula’s medieval Old Town. It’s also worth stopping off for at least a day or two in Split to explore the city’s Roman ruins or go hiking in the pine-tree-covered Marjan peninsula.

Some tours depart from Hvar, which is famous for having a raucous after-dark scene. Alternatively, fly into Dubrovnik to spend some time in this beautiful coastal city before you set sail. Spend at least a couple of days here so you’ve got time to take a ride on the city’s spectacular cable car, explore the quaint Old City, and walk around the famous medieval city walls.

MORE: See croatia.hr.

GETTING THERE: Monarch flies direct from London Gatwick to Dubrovnik from £72.50 return (monarch.co.uk).

day Tripping Visit the best of british hotspots Mystery: Stonehenge is a must-see

Rome: The city break Easter is the perfect time to go on a sightseeing jaunt to Rome – the temperatures will be comfortable enough so you can spend days walking around the open-air sights without being reduced to a sweaty mess. Now it’s time to tick all those big-hitters off the bucket list.

The world-renowned Colosseum, which dates back to 80AD and was the site of the legendary gladitorial battles to the death, is a must-see. Stop by Vatican City to gawp at the intricate painted ceilings of the Sistine Chapel (and give a wave to the all-new Pope Francis).

Also on your checklist should be the Pantheon, an ancient temple built to honour the gods in AD126, having a gelato by the baroque Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps – its 135 steps make it the most famous staircase in Europe.

MORE: See rome.info.

GETTING THERE: easyJet flies direct from London Gatwick to Rome from £97 return (easyjet.com). ❚

Staying close to home over the bank holiday weekend?

Make sure you get out of the city to visit one of these top British sights instead.

Bath Who needs to go abroad for hot springs and Roman ruins?

Head to Bath for a splash around at the steamy Thermae Bath Spa or visit the Roman Baths museum, where you can check out the magnificent, steam-filled bathing complex and temple that dates back to 70AD. As this year is the 200th anniversary of classic English novel Pride And Prejudice, the city is also celebrating its connection with Jane Austen. Bath was the setting for two of the famed author’s novels, Northanger Abbey and Persuasion, and she lived here from 1801 to 1806. Learn more at the Jane Austen Centre, or take a walking tour to find out more about her life.

MORE: visitbath.co.uk; janeausten.co.uk Stonehenge If you’ve never seen one of the of the most hotly debated sights in the world, now’s the time to visit Stonehenge.

Whether you’re convinced they’re a prehistoric temple, a mystical calendar, a sign of life from outer space or just a jolly good British mystery, paying a visit to the standing stones of the Salisbury Plains definitely makes for a great day trip.

MORE: stonehenge.co.uk

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Photos: Thinkstock; Getty

Baroque: Rome’s Trevi Fountain

Brighton Like to be beside the seaside? Head to the coast to enjoy all the top traditional coastal activities Brighton has to offer.

As well as shopping in the Lanes, a day out here wouldn’t be complete without scoffing fish’n’chips and supping a pint on the pebble beach, walking along the pier to drop a few quid in the slot machines, taking a ride on the Brighton Wheel or visiting the Sea Life Centre. Oh, and, of course, running for cover as soon as the rain starts.

MORE: visitbrighton.com

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Unison: soldiers carry the Turkish, New Zealand and Australian flags

Anzac Day turkey

Istanbul Gallipoli

GETTING THERE Fly from London to Istanbul from ÂŁ199pp return with British Airways. britishairways.com

TURKEY 62

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Lest we forget Anzac Day in Turkey – a poignant tribute to fallen soldiers of the past and a chance to further explore this fascinating country Words Helen Elfer

Every year, thousands of Kiwis and Aussies make the journey from their sun-soaked homelands to the freezing former battlefields of Gallipoli. For many, a night spent camping in the bitter cold, remembering the Australian and New Zealand forces who perished here during World War One, is the ultimate tribute on Anzac Day (April 25) – and a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

If you want to be a part of this huge coming-together, there are plenty of ways to do it. You can join a whistlestop tour, which includes all the commemorative events held in Gallipoli, or take the time to explore the rest of Turkey on a longer trip to learn more about the history and pay tribute to the soldiers who lost their lives 98 years ago.

Here’s everything you need to know to be part of this amazing annual pilgrimage.

Gallipoli We will remember them: the history “The beach was piled up with ammunition, stores, among which lay dead and wounded, and men so absolutely exhausted that they had fallen asleep in spite of the noise and excitement around them.

“Other parties were wandering about in the darkness and being directed up the hills by their officers. On the hills above there was a perfect inferno of rifle fire, and shells bursting. In fact, the air was buzzing with bullets, like a drone in a bee on a hot summer’s day.”

This stirring account of April 25, written by war correspondent Ellis Ashmead-Bartlett, gives a glimpse into what Anzac forces experienced at Gallipoli in 1915.

Sent as part of the Allied expedition that set out to capture the peninsula, the troops landed to find the resistance from the Turkish defenders far stronger than had been anticipated. But rather than accept defeat, and in spite of casualties and sickness, they hung on, making small, hard-fought advances and enduring endless setbacks over the next eight months.

At the end of the year, the remaining forces’ retreat was as courageous as the fighting that had resulted in the deaths of more than 11,400 Anzacs. The campaign may not have

been a military success, but the efforts of the soldiers have been a symbol of great national pride since.

On the battlefields: what to expect Most visitors spend two to three days in Gallipoli before continuing exploring the rest of Turkey – enough time to see the main memorials, scattered at various sites. These include the Canakkale Martyrs’ Memorial and British Memorial at Cape Helles, the Australian Memorial at Pine Ridge, and the New Zealand Monument and Ataturk Statue at Chunuk Bair.

Traditionally, campers pitch up on the eve of Anzac Day on the main battlefields at Anzac Cove, where documentaries are shown on big screens and bands play renditions of WW1 songs until late in the evening. Most people then stay awake all night. It can be a gruelling experience, but many say they wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

The following day, a bugle sounds at first light ahead of the Dawn Service – a simple but poignant ceremony.

Prayers are said and the Turkish, New Zealand and Australian national anthems are sung by the 10,000-strong crowd huddled together at the foot of the hill known as the Sphinx.

Aussie Kris Chegwidden visited in 2009: “It was freezing and incredibly uncomfortable. We were unprepared for the cold, sleep deprived and emotional. When the Dawn Service began, we at least had almost an inkling of how unprepared [the troops] must’ve been for the whole situation. The best part is that the Turks, Aussies and Kiwis all respect the day.”

Soon after, the crowds make their way up the same path the troops themselves took nearly 100 years ago, more than 3km up the steep hill from the cove to Lone Pine for the Australian national ceremony, then heading to Chunuk Bair for the Kiwi tribute. At both sites, wreaths are placed, emotional letters from soldiers are read out and heartwrenching stories about great acts of bravery are told.

Fran MacKenzie, also from Australia, went to Gallipoli for Anzac Day in 2010. “It was the most amazing experience of my life ... Anzac Cove and Lone Pine were just filled with every emotion – pride and heartache that you could only sample by being there,” she said.

“I felt so in unity with everyone around me. It was ›› completely amazing.” tntMagazine.com

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See it all: Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar; (above) Saklikent Canyon; and Troy

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Respect: laying wreaths at Gallipoli; (above) soldiers salute at Anzac Cove

Exploring turkey Istanbul Since alcohol has been banned at commemorative sites out of respect for the occasion, most people get their partying in early. This means there’s one a hell of a piss-up in Istanbul in the nights before Anzac tour groups head to Gallipoli.

But when you’re not hitting Istanbul’s late-night bars and clubs, there’s plenty of sightseeing to do. The Grand Bazaar is an incredible sight, whether you’re shopping or not. The covered market, which is more than 500 years old, is a labyrinth of narrow alleys lined with silver jewellery stores, sacks of pungent spices, bright lanterns, embroidered carpets and fabulously carved antique furniture. There are more than 5000 shops along the 60 streets inside the huge twodomed building, the first of which dates back to 1455.

Also, don’t miss a walk around the Sultan Ahmed Mosque, known as the Blue Mosque, which is probably Istanbul’s most iconic sight. It’s nicknamed because of its 20,000 handmade blue Iznik tiles, but these are on the inside, so don’t be confused by the white and grey exterior.

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Saklikent Canyon

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If you’ve done all the sightseeing your eyeballs can handle by now, it’s time to get stuck into a bit of outdoorsy adventuring. At 300m deep and 18km long, Saklikent Canyon is one of the deepest in the world.

There are plenty of activities to take part in here, including a refreshing walk along part of the gorge, going paddling down the gentle Xanthos River, enjoying an all-natural mud bath, and even staying overnight in a treehouse. ››

1

Troy The ancient city of Troy is a Unesco site, renowned for being the site where the legendary Trojan War – made famous by Homer’s Iliad – took place. Enough ruins, such as the Roman amphitheatre and eminent walls, remain to give you a sense of what the city might have looked like in its heyday. And, of course, there’s a reconstructed giant wooden horse much like the one in the Hollywood movie – sadly, there’s not a shirtless Brad Pitt in sight.

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Spiritual: Blue Mosque is among Istanbul’s most popular sights

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22/03/2013 12:36:26

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LENGTH: Two days PRICE: From £109pp BOOK: firstfestival.com Anzac Digger On The Go Tours also offers a trip taking in Istanbul and Gallipoli, but it’s spread out over five days to give you more time to explore the Old City and nightlife. Optional bolt-ons include an ‘Istanbul by night’ extra with a bellydancing show and dinner: great for getting to know your fellow travellers.

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Sail Greece & Croatia on your own yacht

Essential Turkey If you have the days to spare, it’s worth taking the time to go deeper into Turkey on a lengthy tour. You can really get under the skin of the country with Travel Talk’s package, which includes a visit to the “fairy chimney” rock formations of Cappadocia and the hot springs of Pamukkale. The Anzac events fall at the NEXT WEEK end of the holiday.

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