TNT Magazine / Issue 1374

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December 28 2009-January 3 2010 Issue 1374 tntmagazine.com

TRIUMPH AND TRAGEDY

£1 where sold

THE PEOPLE AND EVENTS THAT SHAPED 2009

PLUS LAZY DAYS THE COLOUR AND BEAUTY OF LAOS

MUSIC WRAP

BRAIN-TEASERS

THE HITS AND MISSES OF THE YEAR

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this week December 28 2009-January 3 2010/Issue 1374 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

Front Cover: AP Photo, NZPA

EDITOR’S LETTER With 2009 drawing to a close, it’s time to take stock of the world around us and reflect on the people and events that saddened, thrilled and amazed us over the past 12 months.

Look back with our Year In Review on page 41, while for something more light-hearted, test your knowledge with our quiz on page 18, and check out TNT’s annual music awards on page 30.

41 Year in Review: people and events who made the news in 2009

63 TRAVEL

DANIEL LANDON

9 LONDON 9 London Eye 10 London Life 12 ALL DOWN TO EXPERIENCE: Part two of our ultimate London list 14 Food & Drink 16 Spotted 18 2009 QUIZ: How much do you remember about this past year?

23 ENTERTAINMENT

78 Drift away in Laos

23 Celebrity News 24 TNT Life 25 Look Who Talked: A round-up of the best quotes this year 26 Cinema 29 Culture

41 NEWS & SPORT

30 MUSIC & CLUBS

55 Careers 58 Money 61 Coming & Going

30 BIG HITTERS: We hand out the TNT Music Awards 34 Music Listings 36 Clubbing 39 Clubbing Listings

63 Global Vision 64 MIXED MESSAGES: Discover two different worlds in Tallinn 66 Late Deals 69 TNTT Weekender: Valencia 70 RUN FOR IT: An adrenaline fix on the ski slopes of La Grave 72 Hotshots 74 Travel Tips 75 Travel News 76 On The Road 77 Gear Up 78 TAKE IT SLOW: Chill out in the laid-back land of Laos

41 2009 IN REVIEW: Who and what made the headlines this year

55 CAREERS & MONEY

REGULARS 4 Letters 6 Wins 114 Desperately Seeking & Dear Reuben 12 Shakespeare’s Globe: one of London’s prime attractions

30 Red alert: Florence Welch is a TNT Music winner

18 Quiz time: test your knowledge of 2009?

EDITORIAL Editor Daniel Landon Deputy editor Samantha Baden Production editor Claire Goodall Subs Janine Jorgensen | Jahn Vannisselroy London editor Tom Sturrock Travel editor Amy Adams Music editor Alison Grinter Editorial assistant Inger Smith DIGITAL & IT Interim digital manager Lily Nguyen IT manager Stephen Dann ART & PICTURES Art director Shabir Mahmood Designer Astrid Breacker Picture editor Shila Sultana SALES Sales director Jeff Perkins Agency sales exec Sherzod Rizaev Key accounts Jaqui Ward New business Helen Simms Classified sales execs Charlotte Page | Josh Benjamin MARKETING & EVENTS Head of marketing Anna Williams Marketing exec Danielle Tessari Events marketing manager Hazel Willis Marketing assistant Camilla Hibbert ACCOUNTS Financial controller Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Alexandra Buchlakova PRODUCTION Production manager Jon Cooke Deputy production manager Jana Waldmann TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Director Tony Goodman Receptionist Kate Simmonds TNT Publishing Ltd DISTRIBUTION Nightflight Distribution Ltd PRINTED BY St Ives Web Ltd NEWS AAP Freestone Media NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images

LETTER OF THE WEEK

NOT JUST ANY OLD CRAP …

This photo was taken while at the Chapungu game lodge, part of the Thornybush Game Reserve adjoining the Kruger National Park in South Africa.

This stay was the icing on the cake of our three-week trip from Cape Town along the Garden Route, on to Route 62 (through the Little Karoo), then back to the West Coast.

We flew to Chapungu, where we saw the big five (lion, rhino, leopard, buffalo and elephant) and more – what an incredible experience!

Barry Fitzgerald (from Tauranga, New Zealand), via email

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Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

How hard is it to buy a pair of shoes in this city?

During last week’s grim pre-Christmas slush, I found myself in Kensington High Street wearing a pair of shoes with a hole the size of a 50p piece in each sole.

I went into five different shoe stores, each time 100 per cent ready to wear a new pair out and throw my holey old pair in the nearest bin. Could there be a more motivated buyer? But each time, I decided I’d rather walk home barefoot than buy the shitty, over-priced crap on offer.

I felt I would be unable to reconcile myself with having

NEXT WEEK IN

After living in many other “ cities, I believe that nothing compares to London ” bought a pair shoes that were either so ridiculously effete they may as well have had six-inch heels, or looked like they belonged to a high school shooter.

The shoes were either wanky and over-styled, with synthetically wrinkled leather (pretending to be hand-made) or ugly, one-size-fits-all monstrosities that felt like big, round paws. I found a pair in the end, but with my Christmas

Travel

All you need to know about preparing for an epic trip

cheer evaporated and faith in humankind sorely tested.

Shane, Fulham

TRAVEL FRUSTRATIONS I love London! I have been here for two years and after living in many other cities in the

TNT online Catch up with your fellow TNT readers and share your views at tntmagazine.com/forums

London

Ten ways to improve your life in London in 2010

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A TIME TO HEEL

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LONDON

LONDON EYE

9

Clapham, SW4, December 21, 2009 Photo: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images

Were you dreaming of a white Christmas? While the snow that covered London last week might have looked pretty and ushered in some festive spirit, it also brought travel chaos to much of the UK. The snow and freezing temperatures disrupted rail services and flights, causing misery for thousands of commuters and anyone wanting to travel around the country or abroad.

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

NEW YEAR’S DAY PARADE FREE WHAT: Ringing in the new year in style, the parade moves down Parliament Street through Trafalgar Square and Piccadilly Circus to finish at Berkeley Street at about 3pm.

WHEN: From noon on January 1.

DO IT BECAUSE: It’s a big deal. Depending on the weather, as many as half a million revellers are expected to watch the procession of floats, marching bands and street performers.

There are also concerts dotted along the route.

10

» Parliament Sq, SW1P 3JX

Westminster

(londonparade.co.uk)

Capital idea: Kew Bridge Steam Museum The Kew Bridge Pumping Station was originally opened in 1838 by the Grand Junction Waterworks Company.

It’s now a museum, which contains all types of steam engines, from the enormous Maudslay engine to neat little four-strokes.

Anyone who takes an interest in how pistons and crankshafts work will have fun watching these engines in action – they still fascinate with their ingenuity. For others, the technology may

be rather baffling, but it is nonetheless impressive.

Offering a glimpse of a past era, the museum sketches the history of the invention of steam power, the industrial revolution and London’s infrastructure. But it also offers a social history of how running water changed British life. TS

NEW YEAR’S EVE FIREWORKS FREE

TNT NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY £12- £20

If you can’t make it down to South Bank – and if you’re not too boozed by midnight – get out on to a roof or a balcony and watch the capital’s fireworks spectacular.

TNT is making it easy for you to celebrate the end of 2009 with a sexy circus-themed party right in the heart of west London.

» South Bank, SE1 7PB Waterloo (london.gov.uk/ newyearseve)

» Grand Union Ravenscourt Park, Goldhawk Rd, W12 8EU Ravenscourt Park (tntmagazine.com/nye)

» Green Dragon Ln, TW8 0EN Gunnersbury (kbsm.org). Reopens Jan 1.

Closed Mondays. £9.50 GREAT FOR: GADGET FREAKS

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES LONDON BY NUMBERS

3.75m Source: English Historical Review

#351

RING IN THE NEW YEAR BY GOING ON A BENDER AT ONE OF LONDON’S SUPER CLUBS

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Silly Buggers™

Carl De Souza / AFP / Getty Images

The estimated number of English people killed by the Black Death in 1348-49.

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The Royal Shakespeare Company has fleshed out the Bard’s classic comedy.

Cold, drizzly days in winter are perfect for visiting museums, and the state-of-the-art Darwin Centre, which opened in September, is a London highlight. Look out for Archie the giant squid.

» Duke of York’s, St Martins Ln, WC2N 4BG Leicester Square (dukeofyorkstheatre. co.uk). Until Feb 27

MORECAMBE £27 This play about British comic legend Eric Morecambe sold out at the Edinburgh Festival.

» Natural History Museum, Cromwell Rd, SW7 5BD South Kensington (nhm.ac.uk)

» Duchess Theatre, Catherine St, WC2B 5LA Covent Garden (duchesstheatre.co. uk). Until Jan 17

TNT online For events in the capital see tntmagazine.com/whats_on

BRITAIN EXPLAINED

Getty Images

FIRE FESTIVALS Fire festivals will be held from New Year’s Eve into January in various parts of Britain – they’re particularly popular in Scotland.

At Stonehaven Fire Festival, firetwirlers march through town at midnight, whereas Shetland’s Up Helly Aa (right) is a 24-hour Viking-themed

party. At the burning of the Clavie in Burghead, a barrel of tar is set alight and carried through town.

Fire festivals are rooted in the pagan calendar, where there are eight festivals, or sabbats, over 12 months. Four greater sabbats mark the change of seasons and are celebrated by the fire festivals. TS

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all down to

EXPERIENCE London’s must-see list is endless, but here’s what you really shouldn’t miss out on while living in the capital WORDS DANIEL LANDON POSH SHOPPING For class, sophistication and style Harrod’s (above) is hard to beat. It’s worth wandering through some of the lesser visited parts of the store to get an idea of the lavish items (and price tags). For an equally elegant store without the crowds, head to Fortnum & Mason. Just over the road is Burlington Arcade, a treasure trove of olde worlde class.

1

True icon: the big red bus

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John D Mchugh/AFP/Getty Images

BIG RED BUS The old-school Routemaster buses (they’re the ones with the big opening at the back so you can jump on and off at any time) are a true London icon. Most have been phased out but they still operate on route 9 between Aldwych and Royal Albert Hall, and route 15 between Trafalgar Square and Tower Hill.

2

MISSED THE CUT TOP 5 HONOURABLE MENTIONS ■ Chic shopping: Harvey

LONDON

Nichols in Knightsbridge is a super fashionable department store; then stroll along King’s Road in Chelsea.

■ High culture: London’s theatre, opera and ballet scenes are world leading.

Best are The Old Vic theatre (headed by Kevin Spacey), and the Royal Opera House (check roh.org.uk for tickets under £10).

Estate of the nation: Kenwood House

STATELY MANORS Britain is famous for its grand country estates with magnificent manor houses and manicured grounds. There are such estates in London, including Kenwood House (adjoining the massive and wild forests of Hampstead Heath), Ham House (near Richmond), Chiswick House, and the grand-daddy of them all, Hampton Court Palace.

3

GREAT LIVE MUSIC There’s no doubt that London has one of the best live music scenes in the world. The history of venues such as the Brixton Academy (o2academybrixton.co.uk) or Shepherd’s Bush Empire (o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk) pretty much guarantees bands and musos there will play to the rafters. Or catch hip up-and-comers at Camden’s uber-cool Barfly (barflyclub.com) and Koko (koko.uk.com).

■ Abbey Road Studios (NW8 9AY): Follow in the Beatles’ footsteps across the world’s most famous pedestrian crossing.

4

HIGH TEA Afternoon tea in the dining room of a posh hotel, waited on by smartly dressed waiters, eating fancy cakes and sandwiches, and sipping tea from fine bone china cups is quintessentially English. It’s about £30 at a five-star hotel but is a decadent, genteel experience. You will not go wrong at The Ritz, Claridge’s, The Dorchester, The Lanesborough or The Berkeley.

English Heritage Photo Library, Patrick Anderson/AFP/Getty Images, Scott Barbour/Getty Images

5

SHAKESPEARE’S GLOBE Step back in time in modern London at the faithful replica of the famous Globe theatre that existed in Shakespeare’s time.

For the most authentic experience stand in the open-air courtyard just in front of the stage for only £5 and revel in a performance of one of the Bard’s masterpieces.

6

PARK LIFE Central London’s large public parks are magnificent, and a rare treat when compared to the limited green space in other massive cities.

Regent’s Park has a tranquil mix of formal and informal gardens, while just over the road is

7

13

All bard up: performers at the Globe

Primrose Hill. The 180-degree panorama over the city from the top is sublime.

CUTTING-EDGE COOL To hang out with some of the trendiest, edgiest, too-cool-for-school people you will ever see head to the East End, particularly around Shoreditch and Spitalfields and the north end of Brick Lane. Hoxton Square, in particular, is London’s epicentre of cool, with funky bars and shops and avant garde galleries.

8

■ Rave at a superclub: Every weekend the world’s best DJs play in some amazing venues. Some of the biggest and most famous are Ministry of Sound, Matter, Fabric and Pacha.

■ See a cabaret show: London has one of the world’s finest cabaret and burlesque scenes.

9

DELVE INTO THE WAR Discover the massive impact that World War II had on London and how the capital was the nerve centre of the fight against the Nazis.

The Cabinet War Rooms and the Imperial War Museum are evocative reminders, while the Museum of London explores the horrors of the Blitz.

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TATE MODERN Worth a look even if you’re not interested in art. It’s not at all fuddyduddy, with plenty of modern, out-there and more classic stuff. The latest temporary exhibition in the Turbine Hall (free, until April 5) is stunning.

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Cheeky: top-notch cabaret

FOOD & DRINK

RESTAURANT REVIEW Wahaca ★★★★★

LONDON

66 Chandos Pl, WC2N 4HG 020 7240 1883 Covent Garden

THE SCENE A surprisingly cavernous, subterranean space attracting hordes of hungry youngsters who don’t mind waiting an hour for a table.

THE GRUB Billed as Mexican

14

Drink up

street food, this has all the best things about Mexican cuisine (no unidentifiable mince here).

Thomasina Miers, the chef/ patron, won Masterchef a couple of years back and has hit on a winning formula.

They don’t take bookings, but the great value nosh keeps pulling punters in.

BEHIND THE BAR Fabulous Mojitos, Mexican beer and

pretty much any kind of tequila you could want.

BILL PLEASE Dinner for two for less than £30. We ordered four of the small street food plates, which was plenty, and tried tacos, tostadas, taquitos and quesadillas. Yum. VERDICT A tasty Mexican feast when you’re not in a rush and in the mood for loud and buzzy. SAMANTHA BADEN

To your health

While we can’t promise they’ll cure all, if you’ve had one too many a party and need a bit of boost, try these ‘restorative’ drinks.

MORNING AFTER MARY While a greasy fry-up and a few glasses of OJ work a treat if you’ve had a rough night, this drink supposedly has all you need in a glass.

WHAT YOU NEED: 1 tot vodka; 150ml tomato juice; 3 drops Worcestershire sauce; 2 drops Tabasco; squeeze of lemon.

THE WORK: Shake all the ingredients together and pour into a long glass. Give it a swirl with a stick of celery.

CAFE METRO

HOT TODDY Banish the sniffles with this traditional flu cure.

WHAT YOU NEED: 2 tots strong alcohol, such as brandy, rum, or whisky; juice of half a lemon; 1 tsp honey.

THE WORK: Squeeze the lemon juice into a mug. Mix with the alcohol. Pour over

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SHOPS FOR COOKS Recipease St Johns Rd, SW11 1PR Jamie Oliver’s emporium stocks everything from ready meals to pots and pans. Look out for crockery made by South African ceramicists.

Whisk Cookshop boiling water and stir in the honey.

WEIRD AND WONDERFUL Other ‘remedies’ out there include the prairie oyster – a raw egg, slurped with

a drop of Worcestershire sauce, for a hangover.

Suffering from a headache?

Pinch the skin between your thumb and forefinger for 30 seconds every five minutes.

We’ll hold our breath …

PROVIDING YOU WITH: • The best fresh smoothies in the area • Fresh salad • Homemade food – best falafels and kebabs in town! • Illy coffee • Beautiful and tranquil atmosphere

Only minutes away from the Hammersmith ‘HMV’ Apollo and a short walk from the beautiful Hammersmith Bridge and river.

3 Queen Caroline Street (opposite Junction with Hammersmith Bridge Road), 30B Broadway Centre. Phone: 020 8741 4500

Putney High St, SW15 1RB A slick store selling the best in kitchen gear (Le Creuset, Alessi, Kitchen Aid) – this one’s for discerning cooks who are happy to blow the budget.

Books For Cooks Blenheim Crescent, W11 1NN With its shelves of recipe books, a coffee shop and cooking demos, this is a Notting Hill gem.

The Kings Head

Fulham Broadway tube | same pub, new name

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16

THE KINGS HEAD Fulham, London Thursday, Dec 17 Photos by: Marek Sikora/ TNT Images

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2009 ? Test your knowledge on nti te at g yin pa en be u yo ve Ha TNT quiz WORDS TOM STURROCK of the past year with the ultimate

FILM AND MUSIC

It’s the end of the world for Charlize

2. Sam Worthington (above right) appeared in Terminator: Salvation and Avatar. What’s the link between the Terminator franchise and Avatar?

3. Charlize Theron is set to appear in which post-apocalyptic movie, directed by Australian John Hillcoat?

4. Russell Crowe will play Robin Hood next year, teaming up with director Ridley Scott for the fifth time. Name the other four films they have worked on together.

Su-Bo shot to stardom on Britain’s Got Talent

5. Which Aussie actress will play Maid Marian?

Ken McKay / Talkback Thames / Rex Features, Valerie Macon / Getty Images

1. Heath Ledger won a posthumous Academy Award for his role in The Dark Knight. Who was the previous actor to win after his death, and what did he have in common with Ledger?

Tried and tested: Rocky Elsom

6. Who was the winner of Australian Idol in 2009?

Lee Warren / Gallo Images / Getty Images, Matt King / Getty Images

7. Why were Ladyhawke’s two Aria awards so controversial?

8. Which three acts headlined Glastonbury Festival this year?

9. Where did Susan Boyle finish in this year’s Britain’s Got Talent?

10. How many dates was Michael Jackson scheduled to play at London’s O2 Arena ?

SPORT 11. Which bowler took the most wickets during the Ashes series in England this year?

12. Which Kiwi footballer scored the winning goal against Bahrain to ensure New Zealand qualified for next year’s World Cup?

13. In what event did South Africa’s Caster Semenya win gold at the Athletics World Championships in August?

14. Wallabies captain Rocky Elsom won the Heineken Cup for Europe’s best club with which Irish team?

15. After an 18-month exile, Kiwi cricketer Shane Bond returned to international cricket in August. What was the reason for his absence?

16. How many games did South Africa lose in this year’s Tri-Nations series?

17. And which player scored the most tries in the series?

18. Name the New Zealand Warriors rugby league player

The name’s Bond …

LONDON

QUIZ

19

Talking heads: Brown meets Obama

IN THE NEWS

32. Who is the leader of the British National Party (BNP)?

No fallen angel: Gormley’s statue

TNT online Catch up with what’s happening in London at tntmagazine.com/london_life

presumed drowned at Bethells Beach in January.

33. What are the real names of X Factor ‘stars’, twin brothers Jedward?

34. Which former Big Brother contestant died of cancer in March?

19. What is unusual about the most recent appointment of the coach of South Africa’s football team?

35. Which north-west county experienced record rainfall and flooding in November?

20. What is the provisional name of the new Melbourne-based Super 15 rugby side, set to join the competition in 2011?

36. Which international summit took place in April, bringing Barack Obama, Kevin Rudd and Nicolas Sarkozy to London?

TRAVEL

37. London will host the Olympics in 2012, becoming the first three-time site for the Games.

In which other years were the Olympics here?

21. Name the highest peak in the UK. 22. In which country is Machu Picchu?

23. Which town in England is home to Antony Gormley’s statue the Angel of the North?

24. Roughly, how many yen to £1?

25. Spanish city Valencia is on which body of water?

26. What is the main French port for visitors travelling across the English Channel by boat?

27. What is the real name of Sydney Harbour?

28. The festival of Las Fallas takes place in which Spanish city in March each year?

29. What is the currency of Poland?

Hair gel advert: Jedward

30. How many countries share a border with Germany?

38. Which British icon threatened to stop tweeting after being criticised by a fellow Twitter user?

Do your research : Billie Piper

Win McNamee / Getty Images, Vince Bucci / Getty Images, Ian Gavan / Getty Images Eric Nathan / TNT Images

31. How are research scientist Dr Brooke Magnanti and actress Billie Piper connected?

39. Ab Fab actress Joanna Lumley hit the front pages as a champion of which cause?

40. The murder trial of which British student made headlines in Italy?

41. CCTV footage of a baby in a pram at a Melbourne train station became a hit on YouTube. What happened in the video?

42. What did a BBC camera crew find in an extinct volcano in Papua New Guinea?

Clare Werbeloff: how to be famous for five minutes

43. What is the name of Russell Brand’s cat?

53. “To work out how to operate a television set, you practically have to make love to the thing.”

44. During the MPs’ expenses scandal, Douglas Hogg came under fire for one of his claims, in particular. What was it?

54. “We’re going to have no paper, no printing plants, no unions. It’s going to be great.”

45. Which blonde actress appeared as a genie on the London panto circuit this year?

55. “We would have said: ‘We’ll take those three but probably lose the drummer’.”

46. Who is Levi Johnston?

56. “I love cigarettes. Love them. I think the more positive approach you have to smoking, the less harmful it is.”

47. Which African country proposed a law that would punish homosexuality with life imprisonment?

57. ”The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it, too many twits might make a twat.”

48. Last month, an unusual incident occurred in a Sydney clock tower.

What happened?

58. “What’s up, London?”

49. Who is Clare Werbeloff?

59. “How many people would laugh if they were described as an old, ugly pig? How is that funny exactly? And worse, it’s not even witty … We all know that no one takes them on. I am not going to sit meekly and let some arrogant narcissist bully me.”

50. Which actor baffled everyone by reinventing himself as a rapper?

WHO SAID IT? 51. “They are either Mariah Carey, or Whitney Houston, or Boyzone – televised karaoke.”

Mike Flokis/Getty Images, Christopher Polk/Getty Images

52. “She has no waist, an interesting face, but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone.”

Brand awareness: what does Russell call his pussy?

60. “There’s a letter in the package and it says: ‘I know you do terrible, terrible things and I can prove that you do these terrible things’.”

HOW SMART ARE YOU? 50+

20-30

Are you Rain Man? Your information retention is freaky. You should be on University Challenge.

Turn off Hollyoaks and pay attention to the world around you. Shameful.

40-50

10-20

No doubt you talk yourself up at parties and pretend to be smarter than you are.

You are clearly oblivious. How have you survived to your current age without getting hit by a bus?

30-40 Your school reports said you “have potential, but could do better”. Same story here.

LESS THAN 10 Is your name Sarah Palin?

tntmagazine.com

LONDON

WEIRD WORLD

ANSWERS 1. Peter Finch for Network in 1977; he was also Australian.

2. James Cameron directed the first two Terminator films, as well as Avatar.

3. The Road.

4. Gladiator, Body Of Lies, A Good Year and American Gangster.

5. Cate Blanchett.

6. Stan Walker.

7. Some commentators claimed she was ineligible as she’s a Kiwi.

8. Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and Blur.

9. Runner-up.

10. 50.

11. Ben Hilfenhaus (22 wickets at 27.45).

12. Rory Fallon.

13. 800m.

14. Leinster.

15. He signed with the rebel ICL in January 2008, so Indian officials got Kiwi selectors to snub him.

16. One (to Australia in Brisbane).

17. Matt Giteau (3).

18. Sonny Fai. 19. Carlos Alberto Parreira replaced Joel Santana in October, beginning his second stint in charge after quitting the position in April 2008.

20. The Melbourne Rebels.

21. Ben Nevis.

22. Peru.

23. Gateshead.

24. 150.

25. The Mediterranean Sea. 26. Calais.

27. Port Jackson.

28. Valencia.

29. Zloty.

30. Nine (Denmark, Netherlands, Czech Republic, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Belgium, France, Austria, Poland) 31. In November, Magnanti outed herself as call girl/blogger Belle de Jour, who was played by Piper in the TV series Secret Diary Of A Call Girl.

32. Nick Griffin.

33. John and Edward Grimes.

34. Jade Goody.

35. Cumbria.

36. The G20.

37. 1908 and 1948.

38. Stephen Fry. 39. To allow Ghurka veterans (Nepalese and Indian soldiers who fought for Britain) to settle in the UK. 40. Meredith Kercher.

41. The pram rolled on to the tracks and under a train, but the baby miraculously survived.

42. As many as 40 undiscovered animal species, including a giant furry rat and a fanged frog.

43. Morrissey.

44. He claimed £2000 to have the moat of his country estate cleaned.

45. Pamela Anderson.

46. The father of Sarah Palin’s grandson Tripp – he split with Palin’s daughter and posed for Playgirl.

47. Uganda.

48. A couple were photographed having sex in broad daylight on top of the tower and the picture was circulated around the world.

49. The ‘chk-chk boom’ girl: the Sydney waitress became a YouTube star after giving a fabricated account of a Kings Cross shooting to a TV news crew.

50. Joaquin Phoenix.

51. Sting about The X Factor.

52. Author Martin Amis on Jordan.

53. Prince Philip.

54. Rupert Murdoch.

55. Simon Cowell on how The Beatles would have fared had they appeared on Britain’s Got Talent.

56. Sienna Miller.

57. David Cameron.

58. Britney Spears, to the crowd at her gig in Manchester.

59. Aussie TV host Tracey Grimshaw responds to Gordon Ramsay, who said a picture of a nude woman with a pig’s face resembled her.

60. David Letterman describes how he was blackmailed by a man who threatened to expose the TV host’s sexual relationships with female employees on his show.

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PARTY WITH TNT ON NYE Ring in the New Year in style at TNT’s sexy circus extravaganza this Thursday at the Grand Union Ravenscourt Park.

Tickets are only £12 and include a drink on arrival, live music, circus games, NYE entertainment, awesome prizes plus drinks specials.

The reader with the best magic trick and the best-dressed party goer

will each win a trip with Sail Croatia – so dress up and come as a ring leader, clown, acrobat or any other circus performer. Buy tickets now to secure your place on the night. » The Grand Union, Goldhawk Rd, W12 8EU Ravenscourt Park. Thu, Dec 31 7pm-4am. £12 adv, £20 otd.

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The snapper of the most popular image wins a flight for two to Australia, South Africa or New Zealand with Etihad Airways.

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TNT’S AUSTRALIA DAY PARTY 2010 Celebrate Australia Day in London with TNT and Triple J on January 24, and party to the best songs of the Noughties in a Hottest 100 TNT exclusive.

The top 100 tunes will be played during the afternoon and you can vote for your favourites at tntmagazine. com/competitions.

Readers will also be able to enjoy Aussie beer, grub and entertainment on the day.

» Infernos, Clapham High Clapham St, SW4 7UH Common. Sun, Jan 24. 10am till late. Free. See tntmagazine. com/ozday

SNOWBOMBING 2010 TNT Village and get £30 off when quoting ‘TNTSB10’.

» Apr 5-10 2010. Mayrhofen, Austria. See tntmagazine. com/snowbombing

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Hit the slopes by day and party like mad by night at Snowbombing, the legendary festival in the Austrian Alps.

There’ll be plenty of funfilled après-ski events and great live music to keep you entertained through the week, with Fatboy Slim, Editors, Doves, 2manydjs and more on this year’s line-up.

Book into the exclusive

tntmagazine.com

SPOTLIGHT ON

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

Musos, actors, sports stars and writers – we talked to a lot of big names in 2009. Here are some of our favourite quotes …

ENTERTAINMENT

Look Who Talked COMPILED BY ALISON GRINTER

“I was really, really upset when they first told me. I locked myself in the house and cried for two days. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I couldn’t even get the words out: ‘They’re replacing me.’ That was so devastating to me, it was like a death.”

Actress Kym Valentine on the trauma of being replaced by Michala Banas in the role of Libby in Neighbours.

“I also had my first drug experience with an LSD-style drug called a Psychotropic Mind Bomb while I was in Amsterdam, which made me think I had a small witty dog sitting on my shoulder.”

Writer/comedian Danny Wallace takes a trip down memory lane.

“I describe Sugarman as a descriptive song, not a prescriptive song. I’m not promoting anything about drugs. I’m a grandfather.

If I can save anyone from the dry heaves, I tell them: get your hugs, stay off drugs.”

Legendary South African psych-rocker Rodriguez sheds some light on his most famous song.

“My first pet was called Noa, a girl cat. What is a maiden name? Oh, I don’t think I want to tell you that. But my first street was Laurierstraat. So it would be Noa Laurierstraat.”

Superstar DJ Tiësto (right) tells us his porn star name, albeit reluctantly.

“Well, I was surprised and I thought: ‘Well he obviously hasn’t listened to the fuckin’ song – otherwise there wouldn’t be British soldiers in Iraq fighting a useless fucking war and dying!’”

Oz folk icon Eric Bogle, when asked if he was surprised that former PM Tony Blair had presented the lyrics of his song No Man’s Land to a girl in Belfast during the Northern Ireland peace process.

“Ian Healy was my favourite. I remember when Nasser Hussain was batting, and Steve Waugh told Healy to watch out for Nasser’s big nose. Healy was like: ‘Where

should I stand? On the boundary?’ I liked that funny banter. Not the personal abuse.

I didn’t like that.”

Former England cricketer Darren Gough discusses his favourite sledges.

“There are so many different types of love I feel destiny with romance is sometimes a dangerous combination. But I’m a sucker for a romantic film and cry every time I see When Harry Met Sally, so I probably do have a side that believes in that.”

Actress Rose Byrne (bottom right) gets deep, discussing love and destiny.

“I think I saw one episode and I couldn’t understand the New Zealand accent … It was all ‘Oh yeah bro, where’s my drugs bro? Choice bro, let’s get a beer eh after we’ve killed some people’.”

The Temper Trap lead singer Dougy Mandagi on watching Underbelly: A Tale Of Two Cities which featured his band’s hit song Sweet Disposition.

“Bret [McKenzie] is a great keyboard player, he’s an awesome musician. I’ve never actually really had a good jam with Bret, no, but he’s got a beautiful strap-on – it’s really amazing. I love it.”

Fat Freddy’s Drop keyboardist Dobie Blaze on admiring the Flight Of The Conchords star’s keytar.

“No, I’ve never surfed in my entire life.

I mean, I [grew up] near Gatwick airport.”

Muso Newton Faulkner (below) doesn’t get the Jack Johnson comparisons.

“I’ve never met more hospitable people than when I crossed into Iran. There’s this big mural that says ‘Death To America’ and then there’s this guy dragging me off to his home to meet his family.”

Travel writer and author of The Wrong Way Home Peter Moore tells us why it’s still worth being intrepid on the road.

“Yeah, the main man called me and said it was [adopting bad American accent]: ‘Genius, man!’ So I woke up the whole family – my wife and my daughter – to tell them.”

Empire of the Sun’s Luke Steele was chuffed with Jay-Z’s reaction to What We Talkin’ About, the song he worked on for the hip-hop legend’s latest album.

25

CINEMA ENTERTAINMENT

Spread

26

SCREEN TEST: ASHTON KUTCHER

Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche

STARRING:

RT 97 MINS

★★★★★

If Ashton Kutcher wants to be regarded as a serious actor and not just Demi’s toy-boy he’s got to stop signing up to movies like Spread.

As Nikki, a lothario who’s charmed his way into the beds of rich women in LA, Kutcher shows flashes of brilliance but is badly let down by a weak script. If ever there was an opportunity to take potshots at the idle rich in La-La Land then Spread was it, but by pulling its punches the film fails to make much of an impression.

This is despite a promising start that sees Nikki screwing his way to the top and latching on to wealthy forty-something lawyer Samantha (Heche), who allows him to live the high-life. Inevitably, the pants man gets a taste of his own medicine when he becomes smitten with feisty waitress

1 In 2000 Kutcher played a slacker who can’t find what after a heavy night of partying?

2 Name the MTV show on which Kutcher plays practical jokes on his fellow celebrities?

3 Kutcher received his big break when he starred in which sitcom?

4 Which film sees the actor join the Coast Guard?

5 Kutcher’s step-daughters call him ‘MOD’. What does the nickname stand for?

Heather (Margarita Levieva).

To its credit, Spread does have some darker moments as Nikki falls on hard times, and Kutcher handles the dramatic stuff well. But just when a bit of subtlety and irony is called for, director David Mackenzie

opts for melodrama, a decision that ruins the latter part of the movie. Unless Kutcher gets a better agent he’ll be known as Mr Moore the rest of his life.

GOOD FOR : Those who want to see Kutcher with his shirt off. PIERRE DE VILLIERS

LAST WEEK’S WINNER Stephen Crosbie

★★★★★ Eye-catching performances by young actors Juan Pablo de Santiago and Maria Deschamps rescue Gerardo Naranjo’s drama about two teenagers in Mexico who fall for each other and rebel against the establishment.

A great opening is wasted by a hackneyed denouement.

A missed opportunity.

GOOD FOR : Those who like to see lovers on the run. PDV

TOKYO STORY

★★★★★ Director Yasujiro Ozu’s 1953 masterpiece – in which an elderly couple travel to Tokyo to visit their children, who are too self-involved to spend time with them – is re-released for a new generation to enjoy. The message of children failing to appreciate their parents is a familiar one, but Ozu’s subtlety as director makes this a treat.

GOOD FOR: Those who have patience. PDV

Franco Origlia/Getty Images

tntmagazine.com

Tobey Maguire says that he will not be appearing in The Hobbit.

The Spider-Man actor (left) moved to dispel the rumours he has signed up to play Bilbo Baggins in the upcoming movie of the prequel to the Lord Of The Rings trilogy and insists he hasn’t been asked about the role.

“I have not met or spoken to the director Guillermo del Toro or the producer Peter Jackson or anybody.

Nobody has given me a script or approached me about it,” he said.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Saturday Night Live 2 Charlie Chaplin 3 Brat Pack 4 Iron Man 5 Drug use

I’M GONNA EXPLODE

THE REEL DEAL The kudos keeps coming for Kiwi feature film Boy, which has been selected to screen at Berlin’s International Film Festival in February.

Written and directed

by Taika Waititi, the film will screen in the festival’s Generation programme.

Inspired by Waititi’s Oscarnominated short film Two Cars, One Night, Boy is described as a coming-ofage tale about heroes, magic and Michael Jackson.

Filmed in Waititi’s home town of Waihau Bay, Boy will also show at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah.

For a chance to win two tickets from Vue email answers to grabs@tntmagazine.com by noon on Wednesday with ‘Cinema’ in the subject line.

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CULTURE SWEET CHARITY

★★★★★ Director Matthew White and choreographer Stephen Mear inject the thin plot-line of this bittersweet 1960s musical comedy with a sultry touch of sexy insouciance in a classy revival.

Ex-EastEnders actress Tamzin Outhwaite exudes an indefatigable optimism and infectious vitality as not quite tart with a heart Charity, and Josefina Gabrielle and Tiffany Graves slink cynically as her fellow dance hall hostesses, sullenly sussing out the next Big Spender.

Best of all, Mark Umbers proves a charismatic

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre chameleon as all the men who mess up Charity’s life, including a flamboyantly narcissistic Italian film star and a nerdy tax accountant who drops his trousers when panic strikes in an immobilised lift.

LOUISE KINGSLEY

» Menier Chocolate

29

Factory, Southwark St, SE1 1RU London Bridge (020 7907 7060). Until Mar 7.

From £29.50

TNT online For more reviews and what’s happening in London go to tntmagazine.com/london_life

WORTH A LOOK See this musical adaptation of the classic Brit comedy The Full Monty about unemployed working class men

getting their kits off and regaining their dignity, although this time the action has been relocated to Buffalo, New York. » New Players Theatre, The Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOK OF THE WEEK

KIENHOLZ: THE HOERENGRACHT

KICKSTART MY HEART

★★★★★ Husband and wife artists Ed and Nancy Kienholz have formed a taboo-challenging partnership for 20 years, and the Hoerengracht – Dutch for “the whores’ canal” – sits comfortably in that category as a three-dimensional model of Amsterdam’s red light district, replete with scantily clad sex worker

Edward and Nancy Redin

Charing Cross (newplayerstheatre.com). Until Jan 2. £20

mannequins in the windows.

It’s an evocative and innovative exhibition, but the Keinholzs’ pious advocacy of the working girls’ rights jars with their decision to attach glass cases to the women’s faces, emphasising their status as commodities.

» National Gallery, Trafalgar Sq, WC2N 5DN Charing Cross (nationalgallery.org.uk).

Until Feb 21. Free

Lana Penrose (Penguin) OUT NOW

★★★★★ What made Sydneysider Lana Penrose’s first memoir To Hellas And Back so enjoyable was the jaw-dropping naivety she displayed in following her fiancé to Greece, where he had landed a new job as a radio station director, without giving any thought to how she was going to occupy her own time. Needless to say, things didn’t go well.

In her follow-up Kickstart My Heart, Penrose is 38, newly single and living in London, where she

discovers that the dating landscape has changed beyond recognition. Noshows, booty calls and porno texts are the norm, leaving her feeling bereft. Not that Penrose helps herself. She throws herself at Russell Brand – twice! – and trawls MySpace for fickle twenty-somethings, all the while indulging her love of heavy rock.

Like her first novel, this is a good read, but Penrose’s naive shtick wears a bit thinner this time. If nothing else, it’s a cautionary tale for anyone looking for romance in the new year. [Available at readings.com.au.]

ALISON GRINTER

MORE EXHIBITIONS Check out the original

supermodel in Twiggy: A Life in Photographs. » National Portrait

Gallery, St Martin’s Pl, WC2H 0HE

Leicester Square (npg.org.uk).

•David Chipperfield: Form Matters is absolute heaven for architecture geeks. » Until Mar 24. Free

Design Museum, 28 Shad Thames,

SE1 2YD

Waterloo (designmuseum.org). Until Jan 31. £8.50

tntmagazine.com

big hitters Best song of the year?

Best album? Go read a broadsheet. Instead we have all the thrills and spills of 2009 – it’s the TNT Music Awards!

WORDS ALISON GRINTER

MOST TRAGIC EXIT WINNER: MICHAEL JACKSON If we’re honest, his music had already gone to pot around the time he released the aptly titled Bad. But with 50 shows lined up at the O2, some of us hoped that Micky J could maybe get his career and life back on track so he could put paid to all the weird shit (Jesus juice, chimps, baby-dangling) that had detracted from his musical genius in recent years. Sadly, it was not to be and now all we have is This Is It, a behind-the-scenes movie of a tour that never happened.

BEST NEW FALSETTO WINNER: DOUGY MANDAGI “Jimmy Sommerville – I don’t know who that is,” whined Dougy Mandagi to TNT earlier this year. “And I don’t know who Jake Shears is either – can you please shed some light?” Well yes Dougy, they are two singers who have beguiled pop audiences across the globe with their soaring falsettos, and as the high-pitched lead singer of Melbourne epic rockers The Temper Trap, whose tune Sweet Disposition cracked the UK top 10, you have joined their ranks.

tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

WTF? : Empire Of THe Sun’s Luke Steele (left) and Nick Littlemore

UNLIKELIEST OZ NEWCOMER AWARD WINNER: GURRUMUL Australia’s hottest newcomer for 2009 wasn’t a swaggering rock god or an ex-Neighbours

OTHER AWARDS

The ‘Don’t Quit Your Day Job’ Award: Nick Cave The goth god’s new book The Death Of Bunny Munro lacked the visceral impact of his music.

The ‘Shut Your Gob’ Award: Lily Allen Need we say more?

The ‘Weirdy Beardy’ Award: Liam Finn Why take your inspiration from Robbie Williams’s UFO phase?

Inescapable: Lady Gaga

bimbette but a blind, 38-year-old Aboriginal singer-songwriter who shuns the media and sings in his native Yolngu dialect. Showcasing his sumptuous vocals and warm acoustic tracks, Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu’s self-titled debut reached the UK top 50 album chart and saw the UK press anoint him “the next worldmusic celebrity”. Looks like they were right – Gurrumul has been more recently been spotted on French TV duetting with Sting on the tantric one’s Every Breath You Take.

Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images

MOST ATTENTION-SEEKING, THUNDER-STEALING MOMENT WINNER: KANYE WEST Seems like hip-hop’s biggest knobber can’t let an MTV Awards ceremony go past without making a giant tit of himself. This time Mr West snatched the mic out of 19-year-old Taylor Swift’s hand during her acceptance speech for winning Best Female Video before informing her that Beyoncé should have won. Cue mortification all round. Daniel Merriweather, who’d been sitting at the same table as Swift’s parents, said: “It was like watching a kitten being murdered”, or words to that effect.

Kanye, can’t you just go back to denouncing homophobia in hip-hop or something?

GINGER INVASION AWARD JOINT WINNERS: LA ROUX, FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE Once upon a time musically minded gingers had only Mick Hucknall of Simply Red to look up to. How very not cool. But 2009 saw the

arrival of two uber-cool, red-tressed pop chicks: Elly Jackson of electro poppers La Roux, and foghorn-voiced Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine. Ya see, red hair doesn’t have to equate to bad soul music or general fugliness.

BEST GLOBAL WARMING INSPIRED SONG WINNER: DANIEL MERRIWEATHER The Aussie newcomer admitted that Change, first single of his album Love And War, was inspired by Australia’s epic drought. “I was sitting in a studio in New York and I looked down and there was this guy who’d come out every week and literally just stand in front of his building for 45 minutes to an hour hosing the pavement.” We could have also awarded the blue-eyed soul boy: “Biggest Dropper Of The Name Mark Ronson” Award. But that would have been cruel, like watching a kitten being murdered.

THANK FUCK SOUTH AFRICA IS FINALLY PUTTING OUT SOME DECENT ROCK MUSIC AWARD WINNER: BLK JKS Rather than following the usual Saffa trend of aping American bands, Joburg quartet Blk Jks wove a weft of traditional South African

The ‘Where’s Your Album?’

Award: Natalie Imbruglia Her much-trumpeted Chris Martin-assisted LP was mysteriously put back for release in 2010.

The ‘Sophomore Slump? Not Us’ Award: Fat Freddy’s Drop The midnight marauders’ second album Boondigga & The Big BW is right up there with their first, Based On A True Story.

Not just ginger: Florence Welch

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC & CLUBS

The ‘Ubiquity’ Award: Lady Gaga She was blimmen’ everywhere this year and got to snog Alexander ° in the vid for Skarsgard her single Paparazzi.

Lucky biatch.

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BEST OF THE NOUGHTIES roll back on the agenda

MIA Genre mangler extraordinaire captured the post 9/11 world.

JAY Z Made hip-hop

MUSIC & CLUBS

THE ACTS THAT MADE THE DECADE GREAT …

THE STROKES Put rock ’n’

permissible at Glasto.

AMY WINEHOUSE What a vocalist, what a lyricist, what a hedonist!

ARCADE FIRE Their music was so indie it hurt.

Bird’s the word: head Queen Josh Homme

BLK JKS: decent Saffa rock at last

tune without permission. Hmm, there must be something it it because every time TNT Music hears Down Under it just makes us want to break into a chirpy rendition of: “Kookabura sits in the old gum tree”. Not.

Monica Orozco, Leon Neal/AFP/Getty Images, Scott Gries/Getty Images For Universal Music

TAKE OVER THE WORLD AWARD WINNER: JOSH HOMME It’s not enough that the ginger Elvis already presides over three bands (QoTSA, Eagles of Death Metal and now Them Crooked Vultures), his grubby little stoner rock fingerprints were also all over Arctic Monkeys’ latest album Humbug, and he provided some guitar action on Scottish band Biffy Clyro’s Only Revolutions. Just what will this Yank have designs on next: Russia? The Golan Heights?

The universe?

sounds through a warp of good old-fashioned psych-rock to create what they call “black rock ’n’ roll”, a sound so strange and wonderful that their debut album After Robots has made them the toast of tastemakers from London to New York.

MOST BIZARRE ROYALTIES WRANGLE AWARD WINNER: LARRIKIN MUSIC VS MEN AT WORK Larrikin Music, which owns the rights to Kookaburra, is suing Men At Work claiming their worldwide number-one hit Down Under ripped off the flute solo of the 1934 kiddies’

MOST UNUSUAL COLLABORATION WINNER: JAY-Z AND LUKE STEELE After hearing Empire Of The Sun’s Standing On The Shore on cult comedy show Entourage, hip-hop giant Jay-Z sought out the band’s frontman Luke Steele to collaborate on the tune What We Talkin’ About for his new album Blueprint 3. Steele told TNT that the music mogul was mighty impressed with the end product and drawled down the phone to him: “You’re a genius, man.”

Praise indeed.

Roc of ages: Jay Z

WHITE STRIPES A guitar and drums was all they needed.

ARCTIC MONKEYS Sheffield whippersnappers turned global rock gods.

DIZZEE RASCAL We watched him grow from grime star to superstar.

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS Made the comedy song respectable.

Usually more charasmatic: FOTC

BEYONCÉ The big voiced, booty shakin’ R ’n’ B queen.

MUSE Preposterous progrock that just worked.

KYLIE The post cancer comeback pop queen.

JET Their first album Get Born was decent at least.

THE YEAH YEAH YEAHS Proper Noo York attitude from this new-wave outfit.

tntmagazine.com

33

MUSIC LISTINGS MONDAY 27

SATURDAY 2

Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, Concern, Mewgatz

Dub Pistols The hip-hop, breakbeat and ska collective use horns and turntables for the performance. Koko, Camden High

The Chicago-based indiepop performer promotes his album Vs Children. The

St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £14.50.

Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). Adv £8.50.

Jooks Of Kent, The Nuns The trio play blues and boogie crossed with rock and roll.

Kenny G The saxophonist promotes his album Rhythm And Romance. Royal Albert

The Grosvenor, Sidney Rd, SW9 0TP (020 7733 1799). £5.

Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (020 7589 8212). £29-£50.

Left With Pictures, My Sad Captains, The Riff Raff

Rosemary Branch Festival: Pete Letanka Trio South

The London-based combo play melodic indie-pop. The

African swing band. Rosemary

Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £6, w/flyer/NUS £5.

Branch Theatre, Shepperton Rd, N1 3DT (020 7704 6665). £10.

Raphael Saadiq The Grammy Award-winning American soul singer and producer plays tracks from his back catalogue.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £22.50 & £30.

Chris Wood Acoustic folkrock from the singer-songwriter and guitarist. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £14, concs £12.

NOFX American punk-

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

NINE INCH NAILS O2 Arena, Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX North Greenwich (0870 534 4444). Wed, Jul 15. £32.50 You want to what me like an animal? Trent Reznor’s nihilistic rock vehicle rolls into town this summer. Expect to hear 20 years’ worth of hits.

rockers. Shepherds Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0905 020 3999). £20.

Gary Moore, Buddy Whittington The veteran guitarist promotes his album, Bad For You Baby Baby.

Hammersmith Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £26.91-£34.26.

TNT online

Reuben Richard & Soul Train

TUESDAY 28

KT Sullivan The vocalist

The Bug, DJ Adrian Sherwood The London outfit

performs the songs of Jerome Kern. Live! On The Park At Pizza

play experimental rock. The

On The Park, Knightsbridge, SW1X 7LY (020 7235 5273). £15 & £25.

Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). £10.

Easy Star All-Stars The New York four-piece perform covers with a reggae twist. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £17.50.

Jayson Norris, Rhys Morgan, Amphibic Acoustic rock singer-songwriter originally from New Zealand. Halfmoon Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £5.

Sleepercurve, White Light Parade, HK:UK The London trio play progressive indie-rock to promote their forthcoming EP. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, w/flyer £5.

The Yeah You’s, Meg Hutchinson Alternative duo

FRIDAY 1

Emily Barker & The Red Clay Halo, Danny Schmidt

Skinny Molly

The Wednesday Night Showcase Acoustic showcase of signed and unsigned acts. The Bullet

The Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). £8, adv £6.

Herne Hill, SE24 9HU (020 7274 2733). £12, adv £10.

The Deadly Vibes, The Risk, The Branded

Tarrbaby, Three Times Daily

The Blockheads The veteran

punk-rockers play their hits. The

Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £23.50.

The American three-piece play country-rock tracks from their album Feels So Good I Wanna Do It Again. Boston Arms, Junction Rd, N19 5QQ (020 7272 8153). £7, concs £5.

Willie Garnett’s Big Band Gravity, Spector, Gunner Sgt, Continental Train Wreck The outfit play indie-rock songs.

Hope And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £4.50.

Sax-led swing from the 17-piece.

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £7.

Hayze, I’m Spartacus, Hipsters Fix, The Blockade Indie-rock trio from Ipswich.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

Okkyung Lee, Christian Marclay, Steve Beresford, John Butcher Experimental

WEDNESDAY 29

Zoot Money’s Surprise Party The veteran blues man

tracks from the New York performer. Cafe Oto, Ashwin

plays his monthly residency.

St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £10.

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

James Marsters

Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £5, concs £4.

Nina Ferro with Boisdale Blue Rhythm Band The Australian jazz singer performs with the outfit. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, diners £4.50.

José González The Swedish singer-songwriter plays lo-fi pop.

The Cavendish Arms, Hartington Rd, SW8 2HJ (020 7627 0698). £5.

Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £8, £7 before 10pm.

The Wolfetones Brian Warfield and his band play upbeat interpretations of Irish ballads and songs.

Irish Cultural Centre, Blacks Rd, W6 9DT (020 8563 8232). £15.

SUNDAY 3 Ian Anderson Jethro Tull flautist. Barbican Hall, Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (0845 120 7500). £17.50-£25.

Rhydian The Welsh X Factor finalist performs tracks from his self-titled album, which features covers and originals.

Hammersmith Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £22.02-£39.15.

trio play experimental rock.

Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). Adv £20.

John Standing The vocalist performs the songs of Noël Coward. Live! On The Park At Pizza

Ultravox The 1980s

Pink

new wave and electropop band perform tracks from their repertoire. Roundhouse,

The pop singer performs tracks from her album Funhouse. O2

On The Park, Knightsbridge, SW1X 7LY (020 7235 5273). £15 & £25.

Tacoma The Paris-based

Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £32.50 & £35.

Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £35.

Jim White The Americana

Mick Thomas, Rachel Hatfield, Natalie MCcool

country singer plays tracks from his extensive back catalogue.

The Australian soloist performs folk-rock. The Troubadour,

Jeniferever, Red Skys, Caesura, Codes In The Clouds Indie-rock from the

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). Adv £17.50.

Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £12, adv £10.

Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £6.

The London singer and instrumentalist plays soul, funk and electronica. The Troubadour,

The acoustic pop vocalist plays songs from his album Like A Waterfall. Union Chapel,

East Wintergarden, Canada Sq, E14 5AB (020 7334 3922). £17.

Swedish four-piece playing tracks from their album Spring Tides. Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn

Southern US rock band featuring Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Mike Estes. The Half Moon, Half Moon Ln,

For full listings info go to tntmagazine.

THURSDAY 30 com/whats_on

Bar, Kentish Town Rd, NW1 8PB (020 7485 6040). £5, w/flyer £4.

Sam Lewis Soul, blues and folk from the guitarist and his band playing tracks from album Everything You Are.

Heavy soulful rock four-piece from London. Bull And Gate,

And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15.

Folk from the Australian singer-songwriter and her band, including tracks from her album Despite The Snow Snow.

Mike Kintish and Nick Ingram perform electro-rock tracks.

Bridgefire, Son Of Bitch

Blues, funk and soul from the seven-piece. Dover St Restaurant

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

Tina Turner The Grammy Award-winning American singer-songwriter performs hits from her back catalogue.

O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £50-£200.

tntonline For full listings info go to tntonline.co.uk/ whats_on

FAST FORWARD AC/DC Wembley Stadium, Jun 26 (0871 2200 260). £55 Animal Collective Brixton Academy, Aug 20 (0844 477 2000). £18 Blur Hyde Park, Jul 2-3 (0870 534 444) £45 British India Dublin Castle, May 24 (020 8806 2668). £6.

John Butler Union Chapel, Jul 17 (0870 264 3333). £17.50 The Cat Empire Shepherds Bush Empire, Jul 3-4 (08444 77 2000) £17.50 Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds Latitude Festival, Jul 16-19, Henham Park, Suffolk, (latitudefestival.co.uk) £150 Die! Die! Die! Cargo, May 10, (020 7403 3331). £6.50 The Drones The Luminaire, May 21 (wegottickets.com). £8.50 Gurrumul Union Chapel, May 13 (0844 576 5483).£12.50 Manic Street Preachers Roundhouse, May 28-30 (0844 482 8008). £26.50 Mr Scruff Koko, May 23 (0870 4325 527). £15 Pet Shop Boys O2 Arena, Jun 19 (0870 534 4444). £30 Shapeshifter Forum, May 22 (0844 847 2405). £17.50 Toast Festival: Dave Dobbyn, Jayson Norris, Goldfish Clapham Common, Jun 26-28 (0871 230 5583). £15-£150

CLUBBING

MUSIC & CLUBS

CLUB GUIDE

36

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK NEW YEAR, NEW DECADE PARTY Whether your style is hardcore, where you’ll be sniffing out a good party on New Year’s Day after a mammoth one the night before, or you’re more the ‘I’m so over NYE, it’s all about NYD’-type, Shoreditch’s East Village has the answer.

Say hello to 2010 as East Village packs in some top names, including Crazy P and Stuart Patterson, plus Baltimore Boys.

Completing the line-up are Terry Farley, Orin Walters, Dave Jarvis and Jimmy P.

» East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX

Old Street (020 7739 5173). Fri, Jan 1, 6pm-4am. £10 adv, £12 otd

beats/breaks

funk/soul

drum ’n’ bass

electro

hip-hop

CLUB NEWS

Pint-sized electro-queen Little Boots has been working on building a laser harp, which

FR

VS

Calvin Harris

she plans to bust out at gigs.

“I kind of have a bit of an obsession with laser harps,” she says. “For a while now I have been trying to build my very own … surprisingly they do not sell them at Argos.”

rock/metal

techno

GLOBAL UNDERGROUND

» Secret film studios, NW10

G N I L MY E E F OO GL

tntmagazine.com

BLISSFUL NEW YEAR’S EVE This multi-roomed loft party gets the house music treatment from Sancho Panza and Stuart Patterson. One loft is all about the spirit of New York, offering Studio 54 decadence, while the other will be playing deep house with plenty of classics. Look out for the Slush Brothers’ cocktail van. Yum!

e d ub

l E G A C OM

house/garage

Willesden Junction. Dec 31, 9pm-6am. £25 adv only.

Venue revealed when tickets bought (ticketweb.co.uk)

This New Year’s Day special is sure to make any Sasha fan excited. Known for his dark and progressive sound, the house music instigator is joined by the disco-loving Cosmonauts in the main room. More madness ensues with Anil Chawla, Sultan, and Jim Rivers making merry at the Ministry Of Sound bar.

» Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP Elephant & Castle (0870 060 0010). Fri, Jan 1, 10pm-6am. £20 adv

We have one pair of tickets to East Village’s New Year, New Decade Party to give away. To enter, email grabs@tntmagazine.com by noon on Wed, Dec 30.

WIN

Will you celebrate NYE dancing to Kylie or The Smiths?

NYE 31 Dec 0 2 Academy Islington ClubDeFromage.com

Leon Neal / AFP / Getty Images, Alicia Clarke

New Year’s Eve is the biggest night on the clubbing calendar with too many parties to mention in this space. So here’s a taste of what events are on December 31. Check out Sander van Doorn at Ministry Of Sound, Scottish electro dude of the moment Calvin Harris and house/ electro producer Deadmau5 at The O2 Arena, Simian Mobile Disco at Brixton Academy, or Sven Väth at Matter. For more on New Year’s Eve clubbing, see tntmagazine.com/whats_on.

hard house/trance

free free

IN AS

SOCIA TION

WITH

SUNDAY, JANUARY 24 tralians s u A d e s a -b London Wanted! All faces and r u o y t in a p , ngs on you’re w o n k e Get your tho n o y r ags – let eve fl e s o th e v a w ustralian.

A e b to d u o r p

THE PARTY: • Best of Triple J Hottest100* – vote now!

• Free VB (before midday) • Aussie beers, g rub and entertainment • Drinks specials WIN! WORTH » 5-day Anzac Digg £ er tour for two, 900 including flights, w ith On The Go Tour s » £100 bar tab – see website EXCLUSIV E

till late m a 0 1 apham TIME l C , s o Infern E U mmon N o E C V m a laph TUBE C *see website for full details

see tntmagazine.com/ozday for the lowdown on our biggest party of the year

with

LANGUAGE SCHOOL

‘Learn The Lingo’ courses, part of TNT’s Language School, are ideal for beginners or those who’d like to brush up on the basics.

Ë CHINESE 1

VENUE TNT HQ, Earl’s Court TIME Mon - Thurs 6.30-8pm Saturday 10.30am -12pm COST £65 (£75 after Jan 4, 2010)

Ë FRENCH 1 / SPANISH 1

Courses include:

Once a week, for five weeks starting:

Ë ITALIAN

Every Monday from January 18 Every Tuesday from January 19 Every Wednesday from January 20

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Ë FRENCH 2 / SPANISH 2

u

Every Thursday from January 21

Ë SPANISH 3 / SPANISH 4

Every Saturday from January 23

u u u u u

5 week intensive sessions Private language machine tutor Language pack & reading materials Jumbuck’s pie Other refreshments On The Go travel discounts TNT goodie bag

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FOR MORE INFO & TO BOOK YOUR PLACE SEE tntmagazine.com/school Places are limited, only 15 per course, book early to avoid disappointment!

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CLUB LISTINGS MONDAY 27 Authentic Cuban Night Fiesta Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005).

5pm-2am. £5, free before 9pm.

Bite DJs Lydia, Ian, Marcus and Complexus play electro, hip-hop, indie, Motown and pop. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004). 9pm-3am. £5, concs £3, free before 10pm.

Explosive DJ Rugrat spins R’n’B, funky and club classics.

Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188). 10pm-3.30am. £5.

Hard Core Salsa DJ

Electrovibe James Mac and DJ Lukass play house and electro. Club Boulevard, The Broadway, W5 5JY (07912 654 543). 10pm-late. £10.

TIESTO VICTORIA PARK Bethnal Green Jul 3, £36 The Dutch DJ is coming to London this summer for a bit of festival fun.

Having sold out the O2 Arena last year, he’s sure to do the same at this event.

Get your tickets now at ticketmaster.co.uk.

House Rules Bank Holiday Special Norman Jay spins house classics. Plan B, Brixton Rd, SW9 4AY (0870 116 5421).

9pm-6am. Adv £10.

Lost And Found Keb Darge and Andy Smith play blues, rock and Northern Soul. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £8.

Miami 305 Funky house and pop from Mr Mak and Edge. Stanza, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 5DY (020 7494 3020).

9.30pm-3am. £15, mems £10.

Mario plays mambo and salsa. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

5.30pm-2am. £4, free before 9pm.

Double Shake It With Laquisha Jonz Andrew

Salsa Night The resident

Elmore and Tommy Sandhu supply club hits. The Shadow

DJs provide salsa tracks. The Standard, Blackhorse Ln, E17 6DS (020 8503 2523). 8pm-9pm. £6.

Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5£10, free before 10pm, mems free.

TUESDAY 28 Barrio Latino Merengue, salsa, bachata and urban Latin tracks from Chino and Alex. Bar Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave,

Delicious Thursdays R’n’B and retro hits on the ground floor, with house and party anthems in the basement. Zoo Bar, Bear

Funky Fridays DJs provide funk, disco, pop, African beats and 1980s hits, plus live performances from Jesse, Ken and Tyrone.

St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

10pm-3am. £10, £8 before 10pm.

Royal Oak, East Hill, SW18 2QB (020 8874 4892). 7.30pm-late. Free.

Fuse The resident DJs spin funky house and indie. The

Hospitality High Contrast and Skream Zinc spin house. Matter

chart, party and retro hits in the basement with R’n’B, electro and house in the VIP room. Zoo Bar, Bear St,

Langley, Langley St, WC2H 9JA (020 7836 5005). 4.30pm-1am. £8, free before 9pm, £3 before 10pm.

At O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0AX (020 7549 6686). 10pm-6am. £15.

WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

9pm-3am. £7, NUS £5, adv £4.50.

Members Night DJ Bambach

TNT online

Game On Residents spin

For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 9pm-3am. £5, £4 before 11pm, NUS £3.

Socialism Brockie, Nicky

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins

BM and Phantasy provide drum ’n’ bass. Herbal, Kingsland

salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing

supplies funky house anthems.

Latin Fever Latin music from resident DJ Jorge, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 9pm-late. £5£10, free before 10pm, mems free.

Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

7pm-2am. £10, £8 before 11pm, £4 before 9pm, £2 before 8pm.

Rewind Residents spin classic

Twisted The residents supply

club anthems. LVPO, Dean St, W1D

house and commercial dance.

Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 5.30pm-2am. £4, free before 9pm.

Rd, E2 8DA (020 7613 4462).

9pm-2am. £7, £5 before 12am, NUS £4, ladies Free before 11.30pm.

5BQ (020 7434 3399). 9pm-3am. £8.

Trannyshack Tasty Tim and

Silk Cuts DJ Nick Fletcher spins

global house. Jewel, Glasshouse

Lost In London Party hits

Dusty O supply chart anthems, plus live bands. Madame Jo Jo’s,

Motion, Victoria Embankment, WC2N 6PA (020 7389 9933).

8pm-late. £10, guestlist £5 before 11pm, free before 9pm.

St, W1B 5DQ (020 7439 4990).

9pm-1am. £10, guest list £5.

Upper Class DJ Leo spins

on the ground floor, electrohouse in the basement and commercial R’n’B in the VIP room. Zoo Bar, Bear St,

Wicked Wednesdays

WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

9pm-3am. £7, guestlist/NUS £5.

The residents supply R’n’B and hip-hop. Sound, Leicester

Salon DJ Aubrey spins club anthems. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 9pm-late. £5-£10, free before 10pm, mems free.

Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.

Sq, WC2H 7NA (0870 863 1010).

9pm-3am. £10, £2.50 before 11pm.

THURSDAY 30 Arpdays DJs Idjut Boys, Bill

house. Jewel, Glasshouse St, W1B 5DQ (020 7439 4990).

9pm-1am. £10, guest list £5.

FRIDAY 1 Appropriate For... Party!

Residents spin dance, pop and club classics. Apt, Queen St, EC4N 1TX (020 7618 9020). 7pm-3am. £5, £3 guest list. Free before 10pm.

Back In The Day Resident DJ Stevie B spins retro pop, electro, funk, house, dance and R‘n’B.

White Heat DJs Matty and Olly spin rock and disco.

Brewster and Jonny 5 spin club hits. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY

Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £7, adv £6.

(020 7739 3440). 7pm-1am. £8.

Escape Soho, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (07833 327002). 9pm-3am. £4.

Classique The residents

Calentito Resident DJs spin

play house classics, 1980s pop and commercial R’n’B. The Hill,

pop, R’n’B and classic soul.

WEDNESDAY 29

Muswell Hill, N10 3ST (020 8365 3651).

10pm-3am. £10, £7 before 11.30pm.

Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551).

9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5.

The Libertaire, High St, W3 6NG (020 7160 0572). 10pm-late. £10, ladies Free before 11pm.

Rock The Kaz Bar Resident DJs spin disco, funk, pop, house and R’n’B grooves.

Digress Soho, Beak St, W1F 9RA (020 7437 0239). 12noon-3am. £10, £7 before 11pm, free before 10pm.

Steve Smart Steve Smart spins dancefloor hits. Club Boulevard, The Broadway, W5 5JY (07912 654 543). 10pm-1.30pm. £10, ladies £5 before 11.30pm.

XXL Techno and pop from resident DJs for a crowd of hirsute guys and their admirers. The Arches, Southwark St, SE1 1RU (020 7403 9643).

9pm-6am. £12, concs/mems £8.

SUNDAY 3 Dubfire Paul Woolford, Tim Sheridan Vs Mr C and Biased Guy spin dubstep.

Matter at O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0AX (020 7549 6686).

10pm-6am. £15, adv £12, NUS £10.

SATURDAY 2 Born 2 Boogie DJ Legs, Playboys and Milk Tray spin R’n’B, hip-hop, soul and reggae. Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137).

10pm-2am. £10, concs £8.

Funkinyou 5th Anniversary & Sunglasses Party DJ Arkoss and special surprise guests play house, funk and electro.

Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 10pm-5.30am. £15.

Carwash Resident DJs play 1970s and 1980s disco and funk.

N-Joy The resident DJs

Club Aquarium, Old St, EC1V 9DD (020 7251 6136). 10pm-3.30am. £15.

supply club anthems.

Destination Resident DJs

Cheap$kates Disco and hip-hop courtesy of DJ Downfall.

spin funky house, dance, commercial dance, R’n’B and club anthems. On Anon,

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7734 6308). 9pm-3.30am. £6, NUS £4.50, w/flyer £4.

Piccadilly, W1V 9LA (020 7287 8008).

9pm-late. £10, £7 before 11pm, free before 10pm.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

Platinum Funk The resident DJs supply R’n’B, hip-hop and funky house.

Motion, Victoria Embankment, WC2N 6PA (020 7389 9933).

10pm-3am. £10, free before 12am.

Wetyourself Resident DJs spin electro and minimal tunes. Club Aquarium, Old St, EC1V 9DD (0776 704 7420).

10pm-4am. £10, w/flyer £5.

SENDING BAGGAGE BACK HOME? FREEPHONE 0800 988 3688 | www.pssremovals.com | sales@p-s-s.co.uk 1 – 3 PEGASUS RD CROYDON CR9 4PS

• • • • •

FREE delivery and collection within M25 FREE cartons FREE packing materials (upon request) NATIONWIDE delivery/collection FREE ESTIMATES for household removals

T/Cartons 52x40x61cm

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Additional T/Cartons

£25 each

SPEC IA OFFE L R TO TN READ T ERS

Rates to main AUS/NZ ports including delivery to residence within 50kms.

MUSIC & CLUBS

DJ Flecha plays Cuban beats, plus dance classes.

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

NYE @ YOUR LOCAL WALKIE CELEBRATE IN TRUE AUSSIE STYLE THIS YEAR THE BEST WAY TO HIT 2010

AUSTRALIA DAY WE’RE AN AUSSIE PUB EVERY DAY COME AND CELEBRATE WITH A TRUE AUSSIE PUB TUESDAY 26TH JANUARY ALL WALKABOUTS OPEN @ 10AM

MONDAY

£3 ENTRANCE TIL 9 AND £5 AFTER, CLOAKROOM IS FREE.

TEMPLE

DRINK SPECIALS: £1.50 REEF BOTTLES, £1.50 FOSTERS BOTTLES, £1.50 VODKA MIXER, £1.50 JD MIXER, £1.50 FOSTERS PINTS, £1.50 VODKA REDBULL

NIGHTS @ SHEPHERDS BUSH 56 Shepherds Bush Green, W12 8QE 020 8740 4339

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ISLINGTON 56 Upper Street, Islington N1 0NY 020 7359 2097

FINCHLEY ROAD O2 Centre, 255 Finchley Road NW3 6LU 020 7433 6570

TEMPLE Temple Station, Temple Place & Victoria Embankment WC2 R2PH 020 7395 3690

COVENT GARDEN 11 Henrietta St, Covent Garden WC2 E8PS 020 7379 5555

WIMBLEDON 74 - 78 The Broadway, Wimbledon SW19 1RQ 020 8543 8624

2009 A YEAR IN REVIEW

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW

BLACK SATURDAY BUSHFIRES

T

error, chaos and confusion were the result of an unstoppable firestorm that devastated rural Victoria on Saturday, February 7.

The fires, which raged all week, destroyed more than 2000 homes and killed 173 people – Australia’s worst loss of life from a bushfire.

Many towns north-east of Melbourne were badly damaged or almost completely destroyed, including Kinglake and Marysville.

Some of the fires were suspected to have been lit by arsonists, whose action was labelled “mass murder” by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.

Victorian premier John Brumby set up a Royal Commission into the fires, which looked at how the disaster was handled, including the controversial “stay or go” policy, and resulted in a new national bushfire warning system.

One of NZ’s most famous war heroes, Air Chief Marshal Sir Keith Park, was recognised by the people of London when it was announced his statue would be erected on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square.

Park fought at Gallipoli and the Somme during World War I and led Royal Air Force squadrons in World War II’s Battle of Britain in 1940, fighting off the Nazi Luftwaffe.

The statue will stand on the plinth until May 2010, and a permanent statue will be unveiled in Waterloo Place in September 2010. tntmagazine.com

D

SAFFA EXPATS GET THE VOTE

L

ondon’s Trafalgar Square was turned into a festive area awash with Springbok jerseys and SA flags as South Africans arrived at the South African High Commission in their thousands to cast their ballots in the UK on Wednesday, April 15.

It was the first time South Africans living abroad had the right to vote after the Freedom Front Plus won a Constitutional Court ruling giving all registered voters living overseas the right to vote.

In total 16,240 people were registered to cast their votes in the national election at the 124 South African missions abroad.

uring most of the First Test in Cardiff and the fourth Test in Leeds, Australia appeared a vastly superior side. But their inability to take the final wicket in Wales, and a couple of disastrous batting collapses at Lord’s and the Oval, ensured Australia left these shores as losers, surrendering the Ashes 2-1.

Particularly galling for Aussie captain Ricky Ponting was the fact that, player-for-player, his team probably outplayed the Poms: seven of the top eight run-scorers and the top three wickettakers were Australian.

But England won the big moments, and when they had the momentum, they pressed the advantage more effectively.

Good thing it’s less than 12 months until we give them a hiding Down Under.

Stephen Dann/TNT Images, William West / AFP / Getty Images, Ian Kington / AFP / Getty Images

THE ASHES

KEITH PARK

DANNII MINOGUE

JACOB ZUMA

CASTER SEMENYA

A

Channel Ten / AAP, Olivier Morin / AFP / Getty Images, Alexander Joe / AFP / Getty Images

t its most bizarre, sport can transcend bats and balls and encroach into the sphere of real news. South African runner Caster Semenya provided perhaps the most vivid example of this phenomenon.

In August, 18-year-old Semenya won gold in the 800m at the Athletics World Championships in Berlin. But the whisper was South Africa’s new golden girl wasn’t all woman.

After the requisite phony outrage from South African officials, who wasted no time claiming it was all a racist conspiracy, tests indicated Semenya was a hermaphrodite, with internal testes and three times the normal level of testosterone. And, surprise, surprise, the South African officials, so slighted by accusations of impropriety, knew about it all along.

FOX GLACIER DEATHS

T

wo Australian brothers were killed when 100 tons of ice fell on them at the face of New Zealand’s Fox Glacier on January 8.

Ashish and Akshay Miranda, both in their early 20s, crossed safety barriers to get right up to the ice and take photographs.

Ashish’s body was recovered shortly after the accident but Akshay’s was only found a week later, 10km downstream from the accident. The Department of Conversation, which administers the West Coast site, launched a review of safety procedures in the wake of the tragedy.

The younger Ms Minogue finally cemented her place in the hearts of the British public in 2009 after an extraordinary run judging on the insanely popular talent show The X Factor.

As if being ridiculously well styled weren’t enough already, Dannii continued to say it like it is on a weekly basis, and even gave a tell-all TV interview in which she reflected on her sister Kylie’s fight against breast cancer as well as battling her own demons.

YEAR IN REVIEW

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acob Zuma became South Africa’s fourth president in May, shortly after the ANC swept to victory in the national elections the previous month.

Zuma’s road to the presidency was scattered with many obstacles, including facing a rape trial in 2007 in which he admitted to having sex with an HIV-positive women a third of his age, and corruption charges relating to a multibillion rand South African arms deal.

Zuma was found not guilty of rape, while the corruption charges were dropped after a court ruling against procedures followed by the National Prosecuting Authority.

Zuma was elected president of the ANC in December 2007, ahead of then-President Thabo Mbeki, paving his way to the presidency.

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2009 YEAR IN REVIEW

BIKIE WARS

B

ikie-related violence reverberated throughout Australia during the early part of 2009.

Public outrage over the attacks peaked with the killing of Anthony Zervas, who was bludgeoned to death with a metal bollard in the check-in area of Sydney airport’s domestic terminal during a brawl between rival bikie gangs Hell’s Angels and Comancheros.

The ongoing violence prompted the state governments of both New South Wales and Queensland to follow South Australia’s lead and move to introduce tough laws curtailing bikies’ right of association.

KAREN AIM’S KILLER CONVICTED

T

aupo teenager Jahche Broughton got sympathy, not contempt, from the father of Scottish tourist Karen Aim, when the teen was sentenced to life imprisonment for her murder.

Broughton, 15, pleaded guilty to bashing Aim, 27, to death in 2008. Aim’s parents, Brian and Peggy, and her brother Allan were in New Zealand for the trial and March sentencing.

Brian Aim said justice had been done and he held no grudges. Rather than anger, he felt sorry for the youth. “He has taken away Karen’s life, but he has also destroyed his own,” he said.

“If I go down the road of anger and revenge that would only destroy my life.”

MELBOURNE STORM DOMINATE

Australia’s fourth richest man, cardboard king and philanthropist Richard Pratt, died of prostate cancer in April, aged 74.

Pratt’s legacy was the focus of his funeral, at which lifelong friend Sam Lipski told mourners history would clear Pratt’s name, despite an investigation into his knowledge of a price-fixing scandal.

“The mills of history grind slowly but I’m certain history will vindicate Richard, his achievements, his generosity and his honour,” he said.

Rex Features, Quinn Rooney / Getty Images, Mark Kolbe / Getty Images, Benedeich Troy / AFP / Getty Images

T

he Melbourne Storm now demand to be regarded as one of the great NRL teams of the modern era after winning their second premiership in four years, overcoming a spirited Paramatta outfit in the Grand Final.

In skipper Cameron Smith they boast one of the competition’s great leaders, and in Greg Inglis (left) and Billy Slater, two of the competition’s most damaging backs.

How perverse then, that they remain so unloved, resented by the old guard in the northern states and virtually ignored

by AFL-mad Melburnians.

Of course, it wasn’t all champagne and skittles for the Storm. Mid-year, superstar Greg Inglis found himself in hot water after being charged with assaulting his girlfriend.

RICHARD PRATT DIES

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW KOKODA TRACK DISASTER involved when families send off their loved ones for what they expect to be the experience of a lifetime only for it to turn into a tragedy.”

The Government committed A$1.8 million to improve safety along the track.

Also in 2009 four other Australian trekkers died while attempting to walk the trail. These deaths resulted in calls for fitness tests for all walkers prior to setting off and more regulation of trek operators, to be implemented next year.

CPL Chris Moore, Dan Kitwood / Getty Images, Sergio Dionisio / Getty Images, Tony Ashby / AFP / Getty Images

LIN FAMILY MURDERS

P

olice were continuing to investigate the deaths of five members of the same family in what was thought to be a violent home invasion in a north-west suburb of Sydney.

Newsagent Min Lin, 46, his wife Yun Li Lin, 43, their sons Terry, 12, and Henry, 9, and Mrs Lin’s sister Yun Bin Yin, 39, were bludgeoned to death in July. The Lins’ daughter Brenda, 15, was on a school trip at the time.

Media reports suggested the killings may have been a case of mistaken identity connected to David Min Lin, who was convicted on people smuggling charges several years ago.

JOOST VAN DER WESTHUIZEN After vehemently denying for months that he was the man at the centre of a widely publicised sex video, former Springbok scrumhalf Joost van der Westhuizen waited for the release of his biography to admit his guilt publicly.

The video, in which he sniffs a white powdery substance from a prostitute’s lower regions and indulges in sex acts, split South African opinion. Some had no hesitation in forgiving their hero, while others viewed it as a stunt to boost his book sales.

He came clean with the release of his autobiography Joost: The Man In The Mirror, in which he admitted the sexual liaison and drug use.

His singer wife Amor Vittone forgave him during a radio interview.

SWINE FLU

A

ustralia and New Zealand emerged as the global case studies for weathering a winter of swine flu, with the US, UK and Europe paying close attention to how the fast moving pandemic was handled.

Australia was also the first country to begin a mass immunisation programme against swine flu, in what shaped up to be a test of the public attitude towards inoculation.

tntmagazine.com

YEAR IN REVIEW

T

hirteen people, including nine Australians, were killed when a charter plane crashed near the Kokoda Track in Papua New Guinea on August 11.

Those on board had been on their way to hike the trail when bad weather forced the pilot to abort an attempted landing before the plane crashed into the side of a nearby mountain.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd led the nation in mourning, saying: “There is a horrible tragedy

45

AUSTRALIAN DUST STORM

“S

ydney looks like Mars” screamed headlines around the world. Residents woke to an eerie glow in September, when a dust storm that began in South Australia engulfed New South Wales and Queensland.

Winds up to 90km/h brought an orange hue to skies over NSW and southern Queensland.

The dust blanket crippled public transport, and authorities raised a health alarm for people with chronic breathing problems.

Strong winds and drought conditions in far western NSW combined to whisk up dirt from the scorched earth, creating the problem.

BACKPACKER JAMIE NEALE GETS LOST IN BLUE MOUNTAINS

JOHN KEY ON LETTERMAN

H

is case spawned a thousand conversations about hypothermia, but it was impossible not to be impressed when backpacker Jamie Neale was found alive after being lost in the Australian bush for almost two weeks.

Neale, a 19-year-old from North London who was criticised for not preparing properly for his bushwalk, managed to stay alive by eating seeds and weeds. After his rescue, Neale agreed an exclusive A$200,000 publicity deal with the Nine Network’s 60 Minutes.

SA TOURISTS GET RAW DEAL ON UK VISA CHANGES

S

outh African passports were deemed suspect by the British High Commission, which ruled that South Africans wanting to visit the UK must first apply for a visitor visa from July this year.

The UK High Commission said the global expansion of the UK’s visa processes was part of an ongoing exercise to secure its borders.

An application for a visa valid for six months costs almost R1000, which has led to many South Africans travelling to the US and Canada instead, travel agencies reported.

Stuart Hannagan / Getty Images, Marcus T / TNT Images, Dean Lewins-Pool / Getty Images, John Paul Filo / NZPA

New Zealand prime minister John Key proved a good sport on US television’s The Late Show With David Letterman.

Sporting a huge grin, Key played along as the host asked if New Zealand was near Tasmania.

“It’s near Tasmania and sort of around Australia,” Key said.

SA CLAIMS IT’S READY TO HOST THE 2010 FOOTBALL WORLD CUP

S

outh Africa’s preparedness for the soccer World Cup was highlighted at the World Travel Market in London in November when Danny Jordaan, CEO of the 2010 South African Organising Committee, emphasised South Africa was ready, willing and eager to host the soccer spectacular.

Jordaan said the first African World Cup in more than 100 years of football history would be the best yet. “We are more than ready to host all the fans during the 2010 World Cup, and hopefully thereafter they will return as tourists without their teams,” he said.

MARK WEBBER

T

he killing of David Bain’s parents, two sisters and brother in May 1994 was one of New Zealand’s most infamous murder cases. But after serving 13 years in jail, Bain, 37, (below centre) was finally acquitted of their murders in June, following a 55-day trial.

The jury was asked to consider if Bain shot

CONJOINED TWINS SEPARATED

A

fter 27 hours of surgery, Bangladeshiborn conjoined twins Trishna and Krishna were successfully separated by a team of Australian surgeons in November.

Krishna’s body had more to adjust to than her sister Trishna’s, and she spent longer recovering under sedation after surgeons toiled over the delicate task of separating the girls’ brains and reconstructing their skulls.

An emotional Moira Kelly – the Bangladeshi twins’ legal guardian – revealed she “did a big yelp’’ when Krishna blew her a raspberry.

tntmagazine.com

dead his family or if it was his father Robin, 58, who killed them and then himself.

After the ruling Bain said he still loved his father despite the verdict. “The only way I can explain that is that he was my father. And my mother, my sisters and my brother, they are my family,” he said.

Getty Images, Vanderlei Almeida / AFP / Getty Images, Martin Hunter / Getty Images, The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne via Getty Images

Aussie Formula One ace Mark Webber broke his leg during a charity event in Tasmania in the offseason, but 2009 ended up his best year yet, capped by Grand Prix wins in Germany and Brazil and a career-best fourth in the overall points standings.

At 33, Webber has plenty more years ahead of him and, along with Red Bull teammate Sebastien Vettel, will go fenderto-fender with McLaren’s all-British pairing of Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton in 2010.

DAVID BAIN RETRIAL

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW AUSSIES, KIWIS QUALIFY FOR WORLD CUP The Socceroos booked their ticket to the Fifa 2010 World Cup with a minimum of fuss – the question now is whether they can make it past the group stage, as they did in 2006, before being shafted by the Italians.

Qualification means more to the Kiwis, who haven’t been to a World Cup since 1982.

The All Whites won their Oceania group, and then took out a play-off against Bahrain, with Rory Fallon heading home in the second leg to secure the All Whites’ spot in South Africa.

POLICE CHIEF JACKIE SELEBI ON TRIAL FOR CORRUPTION

S

outh Africa’s former police chief Jackie Selebi’s corruption trial started in October and is set to last well into the new year.

The first witness to be called by the State was convicted drug trafficker Glenn Agliotti, who testified that payments he made to Selebi (right) were innocent gestures of generosity.

Selebi faces two counts of corruption and defeating the ends of justice. The charges relate to payments of at least R1.2 million he allegedly received from Agliotti.

AUSTRALIA AVOIDS RECESSION

A

ustralia bucked a worldwide trend by keeping out of the global recession this year.

The Rudd government capitalised on the steady powering on of the Aussie economy, claiming that a A$42 billion stimulus package, consisting of $12.7 billion in one-off bonus payments (of about $900 to each taxpayer) to immediately stimulate the economy and $28.8 billion of infrastructure spending on schools, roads, rail safety and public housing was the reason for the economy’s growth.

KARMICHAEL HUNT

A

Jonathan Wood / Getty Images, Michel Bega / Sapa, Greg Wood / AFP / Getty Images

ustralia’s battle of the codes took an unexpected twist in July, when Brisbane Broncos star Karmichael Hunt switched from the NRL to the AFL, signing for the Gold Coast expansion side.

Securing the services of Hunt, 23, is a marketing coup for the AFL’s newest team, which will play in the second-tier competition in 2010 and then in the big league from 2011.

He’s a wonderful athlete and a recognisable name, and the early mail suggests his AFL skills are impressive. But there’s every chance Hunt’s move could backfire.

To lure Hunt across to Aussie Rules, the AFL subsidised a deal reportedly worth A$3 million for three years – that’s a lot of money for a bloke who’s never played a senior AFL game.

YEAR IN REVIEW

RODNEY HIDE

I

n a turn-up for the books, the self-styled Kiwi perk buster Rodney Hide was caught with his fingers in the public till.

Hyde, MP for Epsom and minister for local government, apparently claimed 90 per cent fare discounts for his partner Louise Crome – an entitlement all MPs have – when they went to Hawaii for a holiday, and then when he took her to London, Canada and the US so she could be with him on a ministerial visit.

Hide has since apologised for using taxpayer cash to take his partner away and promised to repay about NZ$22,000.

“I am not proud of my casual use of taxpayers’ money to take a holiday in Hawaii with my partner,” Hide said. “That was wrong.

My decision to repay that money was easy when I took time to reflect on what I had done.”

51

JANE CAMPION

A

Patrick Riviere / Getty Images, Phil Walter / Getty Images, Ian Gavan / Getty Images

lthough the break-out actor of Bright Star was undeniably Abbie Cornish, the true star of the film was New Zealand director Jane Campion.

Her latest beautifully shot film about the poet John Keats and his love Fanny Brawne has been hailed as Campion’s finest work since The Piano. “Campion has made a fine and even ennobling film: defiantly, unfashionably about the vocation of romantic love,” the Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw gushed.

KYLE SANDILANDS

S

hock jock Kyle Sandilands sparked outrage in Australia after an on-air lie detector stunt involving a 14-year-old girl who revealed she was a rape victim.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd spoke out against the interview, broadcast live on 2DayFM, which resulted in Sandilands and his co-host Jackie O being taken off-air pending an investigation.

Sandilands was also sacked from his role as a judge on Network Ten’s Australian Idol.

He and Jackie O were allowed back on air, but were suspended in September after Sandilands told actor Magda Szubanksi she could lose more weight if she were in a concentration camp. He returned to the airwaves in October.

JAKARTA BOMB BLAST On July 17, the JW Marriott and RitzCarlton Hotels in the Indonesian capital of Jakarta were suicide-bombed within five minutes of each other.

More than 50 people were injured and nine killed in the attack, including Australians Craig Senger, an Austrade official, Garth McEvoy, a mining executive, and Nathan Verity, a Perth businessman.

New Zealander Tim Mackay, president of PT Holcim Indonesia, also died in the blast.

tntmagazine.com

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW MEL GIBSON

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SA REFUGEE CONTROVERSY Brandon Huntley, 31, the South African granted refugee status in Canada after he claimed he was the victim of criminal attacks because he was white, has slammed a bid by Canada’s government to overturn his crime refugee status.

Huntley’s lawyer said the U-turn was driven by pressure from South Africa and “based on misguided politically correct notions”.

Huntley claimed he had been attacked seven times in his home country by “African South Africans”.

The ANC had condemned Canada’s initial decision allowing Huntley refugee status, saying it was “racist, sensationalist and alarming”. tntmagazine.com

GARY ABLETT JR

I

t can’t be easy following in the footsteps of a famous father, let along one who was known simply as ‘God’ in AFL circles.

But despite that burden of expectation, Gary Ablett Jr (pictured with partner Lauren Phillips) has emerged as his own man in the past three seasons and cemented his status as one of the great players of the modern era by winning the Brownlow Medal – the award for the year’s best player – and playing a crucial role in Geelong’s thrilling Grand Final win over the Saints.

The father was one of the greatest players of all time, unmatched in his freakish ability. While the son is unlikely to ever scale those heights, he is a champion in his own right.

NEW VEGEMITE

I

conic Aussie spread Vegemite had an identity crisis of sorts when owner Kraft decided to launch a version that combined the yeasty brown paste with cream cheese.

A nationwide competition to name the new product was launched, and judges settled on the odd-sounding ‘iSnack 2.0’.

The bizarre choice sparked outrage from the Australian public and led to rapid backtracking

by Kraft, which eventually agreed to rename the new spread Cheesybite.

So was it a PR stunt or just an epic fail? We’ll never know.

AAP Image / Kraft, Jewel Samad / AFP / Getty Images, Quinn Rooney / Getty Images

o stranger to controversy, Mel Gibson courted more attention in 2009 when he divorced his wife of 28 years, Robyn, took up with new, younger love Oksana Grigorieva (left), and then fathered his eighth child with the 38-year-old Ukrainian singer.

Dubbed “octo-dad”, Gibson, who is a strict Catholic, will reportedly have to fork out US$450 million to his estranged wife in their divorce settlement.

Gibson has also been forced to deny he had any involvement in the fourth Mad Max film being directed by Australian George Miller.

“Man, I’m a bit old and long in the tooth for that number … You need somebody who can get around a bit quicker,” Gibson, 53, reportedly replied when asked about his involvement with the movie.

2009 YEAR IN REVIEW SUPER 14 EXPANSION and a beefed-up finals series. The fight for the new licence was fierce, and boiled down to a face-off between Melbourne and Cape Town.

The Saffas threatened to secede if their boys weren’t admitted – a ridiculous bluff. In the end, the Kiwis backed the Melbourne bid, making ARU boss John O’Neill (below) a very happy man.

GAVIN HOOD

Alexander Hassenstein / Bongarts / Getty Images, Mark Metcalfe / Getty Images

S MATTHEW JOHNS SEX SCANDAL

I

n May, Australian current affairs television programme Four Corners broadcast an interview with a woman claiming she took part in group sex with several NRL players in 2002. One of the players involved was TV star Matthew Johns, who was subsequently engulfed in a storm of publicity.

In the end, there were no winners. Johns had his public image smashed, and it emerged that the woman involved had bragged to co-workers in the aftermath of the episode.

And the media, with the phoniness of their moral outrage matched only by the shoddiness of the journalism, pretended to champion a discussion of the role of women in sport and the nature of consent, before deciding it was all too hard and moving on to less weighty matters.

outh Africa’s Gavin Hood broke through to the film world’s blockbuster league when he was hand-picked by Wolverine himself (Hugh Jackman) to direct the X-Men prequel of the same name.

Hood, who had just one Hollywood film (Rendition) under his belt at the time, wasn’t a natural choice to take on the comic book flick, but his earlier film Tsotsi – in which a Johannesburg gangster looks after a baby he accidentally kidnaps – impressed the Aussie actor so much Hood got the call that transformed his career.

ANTIPODEAN ATHLETICS CHAMPIONS

Aussies and Kiwis don’t come in for a lot of track and field glory, so world titles deserve to be celebrated.

New Zealand’s Olympic champion Valerie Vili (below) has dominated the shot put for the past few years, and duly added a second world crown in Berlin.

Aussie pole vault star Steve Hooker overcame injury to win, cheered on by rangas everywhere.

The big surprise was 21-year-old Dani Samuels, who won gold in the women’s discus, signalling her arrival as Australia’s new athletics star.

tntmagazine.com

YEAR IN REVIEW

I

t was a year that provided a glimpse into the future of Super rugby, but also laid bare some of the politicking and growing pains that can afflict a competition administered across three different countries.

In May, Sanzar unveiled its plans for an expanded Super 15 from 2011, featuring three national conferences, a longer regular season

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CAREERS CAREERS & MONEY

courses. I sent my CV to a recruitment agent while I was travelling in Canada and had a phone interview before I arrived in the UK. What do you do day-to-day?

ON THE JOB MATT TURNER Career Recruitment Consultant, Career Teachers Age 27 Lives Stoke Newington From Sydney How did you get into your line of work?

We provide London schools with teachers to cover for any absences. I spend my day interviewing school teachers, placing ads through various media channels and visiting schools and clients, and I also spend a lot of time talking to schools on the phone.

Meeting lots of teachers, many of whom have just arrived in the UK from Australia and Canada, and also the team that I work with is a great bunch of people which means a fun working environment – not to mention plenty of social events!

What’s the most challenging thing about your job?

I have worked in various office and sales positions over the years but prior to heading overseas I worked with a company providing training and education

I have people’s livelihoods at stake and need to make sure they are busy and working every day. The early starts (7am!) aren’t easy in winter.

OFFICE GURU Samantha Baden

TNT Images

TACKLES YOUR CAREER DRAMAS

How do I handle office politics? It can be tricky.

You pretty much have two choices – you either ignore it, or you learn how to play the game and use it to your personal advantage.

While it’s never a good idea to play your colleagues off against each other, it is possible to observe rules of

55

What’s the best thing about your job?

the office environment that can help you get along. For instance, showing enthusiasm is a good way of winning over colleagues, especially when you’re willing to help them out with their jobs.

Another tip is to befriend your boss. They’re just like everyone, and often need to talk things over.

Aussie IT picking up T

here will be more jobs listed for IT professionals in Australia next year than in 2009, but New Zealand will continue to lag behind Australia in demand, according to recruitment specialist Randstad.

Randstad operations director Malcolm Dunford said: “With the steady increase we’ve seen in the past six months and the positive outlook for the first quarter of 2010, it looks like the worst may be over for

IT professionals. Jobs for contract workers, in particular, will gradually increase as companies look to ease the labour pressures being felt this year, but the demand isn’t quite as high for New Zealand [compared to the expected increase in Australia].”

LONDON JOBS RISE

PUB CHAIN EXPANDS

London’s job placements grew at their fastest pace in more than two years last month.

The REC/KPMG index of permanent placements by recruitment agencies jumped a healthy 11 per cent from November to October.

Pub chain JD Wetherspoon is to create 10,000 jobs over the next five years with the opening of 250 new pubs. The business, which employs 21,000 people and has 743 pubs across the UK, is to invest £250 million in the new outlets.

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

A NEW YEAR A NEW START LIVING AND NURSING IN THE UK www.pulsejobs.com

+44 (0) 20 7959 1024 tntmagazine.com

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G N I N R U T E R ?

E M HO If you’re thinking about heading back home, make sure you check out TNT’s Returning Home section in next week’s magazine.

Features include: Ë Everything you need to know about sorting out your finances when it’s time to head home to New Zealand and Australia – from getting your tax refund and sending money home to getting financial advice.

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wHo sHouLD wiN 2 reTuRn fLigHts HomE?

It’s up to you!

We’ve selected a shortlist of our favourite entries that best depict Home Sweet Home and now it’s up to you to decide who wins!

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TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION Swimmers in Santa Claus costumes perform under water during a preview of Gift, a new production by

TRAVEL

Tokyo’s Muscle Musical theatre company. The company is comprised of athletes, famed for their acrobatic skills.

Photo by Yoshikazu Tsuno / AFP / Getty Images

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MIXED MESSAGES Blending old and new, Estonia’s capital Tallinn makes for a fascinating city break WORDS TREVOR PADDENBURG

Tallinn ESTONIA

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St Nicholas’ Orthodox Church

AVERAGES FOR TALLINN

JAN

FEB

MAR

APR

MAY

JUN

JUL

AUG

SEP

OCT

NOV

DEC

7

9

12

14

17

19

18

15

13

10

8

6

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15

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KEY: Hours of daylight Average rainfall (mm) *Statistics based on monthly averages Weather information provided by weather2travel.com

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NEW BEGINNINGS It was only in 1991 that this tiny Eastern European nation on the doorstep of Russia won its independence. It was ’92 when the first democratic elections were held, and ’94 before the last of the Russian troops crossed back over the border.

In fact, in Tallinn’s outer districts you can still see areas packed with endless rows of drab Soviet housing built in the 1970s. The Museum

Trevor Paddenburg / TNT Images

weather

he Telegraaf hotel in Estonia’s capital, Tallinn, seemed just like any other hotel – until I discovered it had been a KGB spy headquarters during Soviet times.

“This was the old telegraph exchange building, and the KGB were here listening in on people’s phone calls and deciding who they would take away or send to Siberia,” the concierge tells me when I check out.

Behind the fairy-tale Old Town and cobbled streets lined with souvenir shops is a city still shaking off the legacy of the Iron Curtain and the often-brutal Soviet rule.

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A three-night break in Jersey is £119 with Modern Hotels (01534 735511; modernhotels.com), departing throughout January and February. Offer includes return Fastcat crossing from Weymouth, transfers, and B&B accommodation in St Helier.

A night in Bruges is £99 with Tracks Travel (0845 1300 936; tracks-travel.com), departing January 16. The trip includes return coach and ferry travel, B&B accommodation, tour of Bruges and trips to Flanders, Ypres and Tyne Cot Cemetery.

A three-night break in Verona is £195 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk), including return flights and four-star B&B accommodation. Valid for travel January 10-March 30.

Offer ends January 30.

Seven nights’ self-catering accommodation in Val d’Isère, France, is £108 with STA Travel (0871 230 8512; statravel.co.uk).

The offer is based on four people sharing.

A night in a country mansion on the outskirts of Nottingham is £79 with Dealchecker.co.uk. The offer is valid between January 3 and March 31, and includes B&B accommodation in a double or a twin room and a three-course meal.

STA Travel (0871 230 8512; statravel.co.uk) has seven nights in Méribel, France, for £229, including self-catering accommodation in Bridesles-Bains and return flights departing January 23.

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DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

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Tucan Travel (020 8896 1600; tucantravel.com) has a 14-day tour of Vietnam for £365.50.

From Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City, departing January 18, the trip includes local transport and accommodation (no flights or local payment). Book before December 31.

A three-night break in Moscow is £379 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk), including return flights and B&B accommodation. Valid for travel January 20-March 30.

Offer ends January 31.

A 15-day trip from Cape Town to Johannesburg is £245 with Oasis Overland (01963 363400; oasisoverland.co.uk). Departing January 30, the price includes transport, most meals, and camping fees (no flights or local payment).

An 18-day tour of Europe is £925 for two people with Topdeck (0845 257 5212; topdecktours.co.uk). Visiting France, Switzerland, Italy, the Czech Republic, Germany and more, the trip includes B&B accommodation, some dinners, return coach and ferry travel and city tours.

Depart January 15 for a week on the Caribbean island of St Lucia for £1229 with Hayes & Jarvis (0871 664 0246; hayesandjarvis.com). The offer includes four-star, allinclusive accommodation and return flights.

A 14-night holiday in Mexico is £989 with Thomson (0871 231 5595; thomson.co.uk).

Offer includes all-inclusive accommodation in Playacar, and return flights departing January 9.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

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DEAL OF THE WEEK

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TRAVEL 69

TNT Weekender Valencia SPAIN

Valencia has loads to offer the traveller, with idyllic year-round temperatures, a charming old town, thumping nightlife, culture in spades, delicious cuisine and great beaches.

HEADLINE ATTRACTION It might be all about the beach in summer but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t visit Valencia in winter. The Plaza de la Reina is lively all year round, surrounded by alleys lined with dozens of bars and clubs. The action usually gets going at about 1am when the locals head out.

awesome from the outside.

Inside is said to be the Holy Grail, used by Jesus at the Last Supper. Climb the 207 steps of the Miguelete bell tower for fantastic views of the city. The cathedral houses an art museum with works

by Spain’s father of modern art Francisco Goya, and a Juan de Juanes painting of the Last Supper.

CHOW DOWN Paella originated in Valencia so this is definitely the place to eat it. You’ll also find tapas restaurants and plenty of

BEST OF THE REST

TNT Images

The Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias (City of Arts and Sciences, above) is a modern architectural marvel, built in land reclaimed by the re-routing of the River Turia.

Stroll among the giant shellshaped buildings including the Oceanographic Park, Europe’s largest aquarium.

places serving bacalao – dried and salted cod, usually served with potatoes and vegetables.

For seafood head to the nearby beaches the Playa de las Arenas and Playa de la Malvarossa.

GET THE CAMERA OUT The beautiful Saint Mary of Valencia Cathedral isn’t just

TRY THE LOCAL TIPPLE In Valencia the drop to get

your hands on is Agua de Valencia (water of Valencia).

It’s a cocktail made from cava or champagne with orange juice, vodka and gin.

GREEN SPACE Once upon a time, Valencia’s Turia River snaked around the city centre. In the 1950s the river was diverted and now, in its place, is the Jardines del Turia – a 7km-long park that features fountains, children’s playgrounds and sports fields.

RETAIL THERAPY Giant squid, delectable legs of ‘jamon’ (cured ham) and piles of fresh fruit are all available in the cosmopolitan Central Market. You should also head to the silver merchants’ guildhall, famous for its intricate spiral columns. Be sure you take a moment to relax in the orange grove at the back of this historic building.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Avoid the crowds by visiting in the off season.

GETTING THERE Fly with budget airlines such as Ryanair, EasyJet and ClickAir as well as Iberia and others. Alternatively, you can reach Valencia by rail and coach from Madrid, Barcelona and other major centres around Spain.

VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa.

CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.10 EUR. LANGUAGE Spanish.

GETTING AROUND You can walk between many of the sights or take a bus or the metro. Taxis are fairly cheap.

GOING OUT A beer is about €4.

ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds from €12, private rooms from €20.

NEXT WEEK MANCHESTER

TNT online For a full travel guide on where to go in Spain see tntmagazine.com/travel

MADRID Valencia

SPAIN

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Run for it As one of the world’s greatest ski areas, La Grave has plenty to offer those seeking daring adventures on the slopes WORDS JAMES ALLDER

La Grave FRENCH ALPS

Getty Images / Aurora Creative

A

long with the residents of Blow Me Down in Canada or Disappointment in the US, the tourist board of La Grave in the French Alps may feel they have been dealt a bad hand. Perched on the edge of the couloir above the Lac de Puyvachier, I’m beginning to think its name is quite appropriate, though. Our guide has gone over the edge so now there’s no going back …

Style wise my descent scores nil, but frankly

MORE OFF PISTE

TRAVEL

I’m just happy to be alive. At the base of the gully we’re rewarded with an empty field of powder before heading through the trees to pick up a lift back to the top. Skiing with a guide means never taking the same route and having the expertise of someone who skis and climbs these routes year round.

The dangers of skiing or snowboarding at La Grave should not be underestimated. In 2006 legendary extreme skiers Doug Coombs and Chad VanderHam died here after falling in a couloir. Going with a guide is the norm on this mountain. Because the bureau de guides lets individuals join guided groups, controlling the risk need not break the bank. Plus it’s good to know you’re in safe hands. On the lift up our guide reassures us that in his seven years at La Grave he’s never had to use the avalanche transceivers we’re all wearing.

La Grave has a reputation as one of the world’s great ski areas. It offers a 2150m vertical drop set against 3984m peak La Meije. The three New Zealanders in our group rated it as the best skiing in the Alps. Despite a reputation for extreme skiing, there are plenty of intermediate routes down the mountain, and even a drag up to the summit, with access to a gentle glacial run, which is great for beginners.

However, it comes into its own for advanced boarders and skiers with the huge variety of off piste skiing on offer. The bureau de guides offers excursions, including a three-day tour of La Meije, spending two nights in mountain refuges. It’s even possible to take a five-day tour to Chamonix.

Regardless of your time scale or ability La Grave has unique charm and appeal. Within minutes of leaving the top, we found ourselves

71

La Meije

PARIS

alone. Out of sight of the main lift you feel like you’re moving through the wilderness, where the lack of human or mechanical noise is quite beautiful. Not bad for a Saturday afternoon in peak season.

La Grave is the perfect short break. There were no problems booking into our hotel, The Castillan, for the weekend. It’s perfectly located next to the lift and guides office, and while not luxurious it was clean, comfortable and friendly. The staff even waited up for us when we arrived late on Friday night.

If you’re after nightclubs or boutique pampering, this is not the place to come.

But given how demanding the skiing can be, anything that encourages an early night can’t be a bad thing.

Gulmarg

CHAMONIX, THE ALPS The home of off piste in the Alps. Head over to Argentière where you will find yourself among some of the world’s best free riders.

See chamonix.com.

Guy Christian, Christophe Archambault / AFP / Getty Images

ALAGNA, ITALY With steep couloirs and open powder fields the Alagna valley in the Monterosa ski area is Italy’s answer to La Grave. See alagna.it.

GULMARG, INDIA Not one for the weekend, but an off-piste dream. Indian Himalayan powder magic.

See kashmiralpine.com.

FRANCE Grenoble La Grave

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO December to April. February and March are best.

GETTING THERE Fly. Flights to Grenoble with Ryanair start from £14.99 one-way.

Get 5 per cent off car hire at eaycar.com/tntmagazine.

GETTING AROUND The village is small enough to be seen on foot.

VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa.

CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.10 EUR. LANGUAGE French.

GOING OUT €3-€5 for a pint.

ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds at Gite Le Rocher from €18.90. Double room at The Castillan hotel from €75.

SEE la-grave.com.

Chamon ix

SAINTE FOY, FRANCE Only a few miles from Tignes, this small mountain resort is a great alternative with a fantastic 1700m vertical drop that can rival any off piste in its bigger neighbour.

See saintefoy-tarentaise.com.

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HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER ANDY’S LAST CLIMB BEFORE SUNSET, HAMPI, INDIA Dominique Scarf

The beautiful sunlit texture of this rock leads straight to the bloke clinging to the cliff face. Dominique captured the moment perfectly as the silhouette broke the horizon, the arms at full stretch and the leg in full swing. The view

in the distance gives a sense of height and the sun bursting through the clouds adds to the sense of triumph.

HOT TIP: If a photo makes you wonder where the snapper took it from, you know it’s a stunner. If you have a skill like

RUNNER-UP THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS, EGYPT Sue Roberts Juxtaposition is a great photographic trick as it brings the focus on two elements that might otherwise go unnoticed. By keeping the focus simple – on the man, framed by one window, and the sign nestled between the two windows – together with the fact the man is looking

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climbing, diving or lion taming make the most of your talent to boldly go where others fear to tread. » Dominique wins a threeday tour of Scotland for two valued at £198 from Haggis Adventures

out and away from the picture, makes the irony of the situation, as Sue takes her photo, all the more poignant.

HOT TIP: Less is more.

Photography is one of the few visual art forms where it is about what you decide to cut out rather than what you decide keep in. » Sue wins a photography course from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses.org.uk) valued at £60

HOTSHOTS

HOLIDAY SNAPS

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT

THEME: MOVEMENT Passing bus, London, by Anastassia Dpoubovskaya The shutter controls the appearance of movement in a still image of a moving subject. The longer it is open, the more blurred the movement. Anastassia has made the most of the movement of the bus lights as it streaks past.

TRAVEL 73

WHY THIS WORKS: 1 The shutter was long enough to turn the bus into a complete series of lines.

2 The colour and size of a London double decker bus is so distinctive it makes a good subject even when completely blurred like this.

3 The lights make a diagonal path across the frame and appear to zoom straight for Big Ben.

4 The dark part of the bus has not made an image so we can see the Houses of Parliament beyond.

5 Turns a static, potentially dull image into a dynamic image full of movement.

HOT TIPS: 1 To control the shutter choose shutter priority, TV mode or night mode (even in the day) on your camera.

2 Choose a shutter speed longer then 1/25 second to register movement as a blur, unless it is an unusually fast moving subject in which case 1/60 can be slow enough.

3 Choose light subjects against dark backgrounds or dark subjects against light backgrounds to get a blurred image. Dark on dark or light on light will not show so well.

4 Use a tripod if you want

accurate images. If you want to enhance the blur, then hand hold and move the camera.

5 Try turning on the flash for images that are both sharp and blurred at the same time.

TNT online For details of how to enter go to tntmagazine.com/gallery

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TIPS Riga

READERS’ TIPS EYES WIDE OPEN

TRAVEL

Keep an eye on TIP OF your luggage if THE WEEK you’re travelling on Eurostar. We were on our way to Brussels and when we stopped at Lille we noticed our bag in a pile on the platform surrounded by a group of elderly people.

They handed it back just as the doors were closing!

Remember where your bag is and check on it!

74

Bret, via email

SEOUL FOOD

YOU ASKED FOR IT Tom Hall FROM LONELY PLANET

Keen to sample loads of Korean specialities while in Seoul without opening your wallet? Head to the basement of the Hyundai department store (COEX Mall, Samseong) where you can fill your belly with free samples of sashimi, kimchi, pork cutlet and more.

Peter, via email

My girlfriend and I are off to South America for four months. What is the best way of taking money? Shall we get preloaded travel cards in US dollars or take our UK debit cards? We don’t want to pay huge fees for withdrawing local currency but we don’t want to carry a lot of cash either.

Ryan, via email

Q

A

tntmagazine.com

Q

A

Blimey. There’s something slightly odd about someone as innocent-sounding as Sally singling out going to shoot an AK47 as the highlight of a visit to Latvia. It reminds me a little of the (hopefully) brief craze for shooting bazookas at cows in Cambodia.

To answer your question: Christmas Eve is the big deal in Riga, but you should look into booking meals for the evenings of December 24 and 25. For this reason you shouldn’t have too many problems booking tours and excursions for Christmas and subsequent days. I’ll leave finding the link for fun with AK47s to you – I found it without too many problems.

Other suggestions for Riga? The Livu Aqua Park in nearby Jurmala sounds like fun, as does a brewery tour. But you’ll also have a nice time curling up in a quiet café. See latviatourism.lv.

Just so you don’t think I’m a misery guts, here’s a chance to win a Lonely Planet guide.

Which Monty Python film features a scene where a cow is catapulted over a castle wall?

Email your words of wisdom to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Tom Hall will give you the benefit of his infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If he answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. TNT readers can get 20 per cent off all Lonely Planet guides valued at more than £12.99. Enter promotional code PTNT01 at shop.lonelyplanet.com.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Valerijs Kostreckis

There’s no definitive answer to this, but a few general rules. Rule one: minimise the transactions you make. More transactions mean more fees, whether they’re loading fees and exchange charges for ATM withdrawals or poor rates of exchange on traveller’s cheques or at the bureau de change.

Rule two: know your charges, check your exchange rates. Fees vary depending on the card, so check with your bank to see what they are. In general, debit cards are better than credit cards. Pre-paid cards are useful, but don’t always offer the best rates.

Rule three: it’s not all about the money. Strike a balance between saving and how comfortable you feel carrying wads of cash.

Rule four: see the big picture. One way to deal with worries over fees is to see them as a part of the overall cost of a trip. Break down your spending and work out what’s important.

You may be more comfortable going to the cashpoint more often, carrying less cash but having fewer beers each night to cover the cost.

Myself and four friends are travelling to Riga as part of a Christmas and New Year’s trip, arriving in Riga on Christmas Eve and leaving on the 28th. Will there be much open in Riga across Christmas? We’ve heard about AK47 shooting trips, which we are keen on, but are there any other activities we can try or sights we should see?

Sally, via email

ON THE ROAD

WORDS DANIEL LANDON

THAIPUSAM

TRAVEL

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia This Hindu festival, celebrated by the Tamil community, celebrates the day Shiva’s son was given a lance to vanquish three demons. The result is an eye-popping parade of body-piercings that look like agony.

76

» onestopmalaysia.com

LA TAMBORRADA (DRUM FESTIVAL) SAN SEBASTIÁN, SPAIN WHAT: The festivities start on

» sansebastianturismo.com

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

VENICE CARNIVAL Venice, Italy Feb 5-16, 2010 veniceconnected.com

RIO CARNIVAL Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Feb 13-18, 2010 rio-carnival.net

ST VALENTINE’S DAY Terni, Italy Feb 14, 2010 umbria-turismo.it

NEW ORLEANS MARDI GRAS KIRUNA SNOW FESTIVAL Kiruna, Sweden January 29-31 It takes place 140km above the Arctic Circle, so make sure you pack your thermals. The snow-sculpting is the highlight, but there’s also dog-sledding and snowmobiling, all under the glittering Northern Lights.

» lappland.se

Where in the world?

New Orleans, USA Feb 16, 2010 mardigrasneworleans.com

LAS FALLAS Valencia, Spain Mar 15-19, 2010 turisvalencia.es

ST PATRICK’S DAY Dublin, Ireland Mar 17, annually stpatricksfestival.ie

THE TRAVELLER …

Cory Schultz 28, from Wanganui, New Zealand Where’s the best place you’ve been?

Stoney Bay, on the North Island of New Zealand – it’s a secluded camping spot with a beach, river and fishing.

Best place in the UK?

Hull. My family’s from there.

The accent is crazy in Yorkshire.

Most overrated place?

Heather McNally from Fremantle, Western Australia, in Havana, Cuba

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £90. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

tntmagazine.com

Queenstown, NZ. It’s too touristy.

Weirdest thng you’ve eaten?

Chicken feet, at Yum Cha in Camden. It was succulent.

Rafa Rivas/AFP/Getty Images, Roslan Rahman/AFP/Getty Images

January 19, and at midnight a flag is raised in the middle of San Sebastián, and for the next 24 hours little can be heard above the drumming of as many as 100 regiments.

WHEN: January 19-20.

WHY: It’s in celebration of the city’s patron saint, but the origins of the drumming are unclear, although it’s speculated it began with maids banging their water buckets at the wells.

DO IT BECAUSE: It’s a perfect excuse to get out and about in this vibrant Basque resort town. And if the drumming gets to be too much, you can always soak up some sun on its famous city beaches.

HOW MUCH: Free.

LOCK IT IN

GEAR UP MARKET KNOWLEDGE

THE INSIDER GEOFF MANCHESTER, CO-FOUNDER AND DIRECTOR, INTREPID TRAVEL The best part of my job is … Seeing staff career development over a long period of time and watching people move around the company.

My first big trip was … After university I spent three months travelling around Europe by

Amy Adams SOLVES YOUR TRAVEL GEAR PROBLEMS SIMPLY DOES IT Simple but fast, the Sno Rider is a lightweight plastic sledge with two side handles for steering and braking, though braking is for losers, remember. Also features a pull cord for easy towing.

THE DAMAGE: £20 WHERE: cotswoldoutdoor.com

TRAVEL

If you were in London in February this year, one day probably stands out for you as being better than all the rest. No, not Valentine’s Day or my dad’s birthday. I’m talking about Snow Day: the day none of us could get into work because it had snowed so much so everyone spent the day ‘working from home’. This, after a quick office poll, generally seemed to involve making snowmen, having snowball fights, sledding – basically anything snow related. The best bit was, people were actually talking to and smiling at each other.

In London!

Anyway, back to the sleds.

I saw some pretty good ones out, most far outshining my orange recycling bag (sorry Lambeth council, but I was technically recycling it).

If this happens next year, I thought, I’m going to be prepared.

And if it doesn’t happen next year and I’ve spent hard earned cash on a sled that really can serve no other purpose but sledding then I’m going to be annoyed, but it will still have been the right decision. Just in case.

Come on weather, let’s have another Snow Day. In fact, let’s have several, I find I get so much more done working from home.

GET PACKING: SLEDGES

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PARK AND RIDE If you don’t want to spend too much money, the Hamax Micro sled is perfect – only a fiver but so much better than a bin liner. Park your rear on one of these and leave the plastic bag brigade for dust (or snow).

THE DAMAGE: £5 WHERE: cotswoldoutdoor.com

SURFER CHIC Be the envy of all of Primrose Hill (or wherever you happen to be sledding) by jumping on one of these Mega Surfers.

It can go in either direction and spin around, and it can probably fit a few of your mates on too.

THE DAMAGE: £35 WHERE: sledges.co.uk

train using a Eurail pass.

My favourite place in the world is … Among my favourites are Thailand, Turkey, Congo and Italy. In reality my favourite place is usually the last I visited. For me this is currently Nepal, which like most countries has amazingly welcoming people.

My most memorable travel experience was … In the Congo, visiting the mountain gorillas. I sat 2ft away from

a male gorilla, who looked me in the eye.

The next destination on my travel wishlist is … To visit Japan, to experience the food and the totally unique culture of that country.

My top travel tip is …

Always travel light and go with the flow.

I always pack … My sarong.

My guilty travel pleasure is … Travelling business class when travelling for work.

BOY RACER You better hope it snows if you splash out on one of these Stiga Snow Racer GT sleds, but think how good it would be! And with a shock absorber supporting the driving ski you’re guaranteed a smooth, speedy ride.

THE DAMAGE: £81.13 WHERE: stigagames.com

tntmagazine.com

BIG TRIP

Whether it’s floating down a river – drink in hand – or hanging out with the laid-back locals, Laos is the perfect place to relax WORDS SARAH WARWICK

Laos SOUTH-EAST ASIA

“H

ello,” I whisper. “Hello, hello.” No answer. “Sabadee,” I say a bit louder, thinking it might help if I try some Lao. No better. The mound of sleeping people on the guesthouse floor doesn’t even stir.

Eventually, I am forced to give up before old age claims me. I leave the rent and key for my room on a table.

Finding your hotel staff, or anyone, asleep in the middle of the day is a certainty in Laos.

People, animals and traffic all move slowly here, as does the pace of life. You are more likely to

Laos is a place “ in which to chill out and take stock ” see a Martian than a Lao person go for a jog.

And after lunch the whole country lies down on mats on the floor and goes to sleep.

This laid-back attitude to life, combined with typical South-east Asian hospitality, has given the landlocked country of Laos a reputation of being a destination in which to chill out and take stock. There are myriad ways to do this, no matter if your tastes lie in tubing down a slowmoving river, snaffling inexpensive French food by the banks of the Mekong, or learning to fish during a visit to a tribal village.

I discover this on my first day in the country’s provincial capital of Vientiane, when sitting with the exceptional local brew, Beer Lao, in hand on a rooftop bar overlooking the mighty

Mekong river, which provides a natural border with Thailand’s north-east.

A much-needed breeze combined with the smell of spices in the neighbouring night market and a burning sunset is enough to make tired bones sigh with pleasure.

GOOD VIBES On a map, Laos can be roughly divided into a northern ‘head’ and a southern ‘tail’: its shape resembles a shooting star. Most travellers spend time in the north, sightseeing in Vientiane, tubing down the river in Vang Vieng, and exploring dozens of Buddhist temples in the ancient capital of Luang Prabang.

Also in the north is the mysterious Plain of Jars, near Phonsavan, where hundreds of Neolithic stone jars of unknown origin lie abandoned on hillsides for tourists to admire.

In the south, flying to Pakse is the way to reach the ancient city of Champasak and the islands region, where visitors can swim, kayak and try to spot the rare Irrawaddy dolphin, the only freshwater dolphin in the world.

Top of the checklist is undoubtedly Luang Prabang, a mountainous city that’s a firm favourite with the backpacking crowd, in part for its burgeoning bar scene. Travellers of all ages enjoy the mellow vibe of the city, which has been a place of reflection and pilgrimage for thousands of years. A wander through the winding streets is enhanced by the calm presence of 1200 orange-clad monks, who stroll in pairs, protecting their shaven heads from the hot sun with brightly coloured umbrellas.

Despite the chilled-out vibe in Laos, there’s

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TRAVEL

TAKE IT SLOW

79

NEED TO KNOW

weather JAN

FEB

MAR

A parade in Luang Prabang

Vang Vieng

plenty of excitement to be found here, too. In the past five years the country has been hailed by travellers as the ‘new Thailand’, due to the profusion of opportunities opening up for hill trekking, adventure travel and a youth culture rich in beer and whisky buckets.

For those looking to party, the small village of Vang Vieng is a priority stop. It sits sprawled by the banks of the Nam Khan river, where those in the know will tell you tubing is a must (see right). Booze fiends gather in packs to grab an inflatable inner tube and float downstream back into town, stopping at as many bars as possible on the way.

GREEN SCENE With the exception of the tourist-inspired madness of Vang Vieng, the Laos tourism industry has learnt some important lessons from Thailand.

The emphasis here is on eco-tourism, and many of the activities, from kayaking, to trekking and the ever-popular elephant handling, are organised by ‘green’ tour companies, who make sure that local guides are used and the land is looked after. Laos

LAND OF A MILLION ELEPHANTS Modern-day Laos has its roots in the ancient kingdom of Lan Xang, which literally translates as ‘Land of a Million Elephants’.

Historically the animals were very important for the Lao people, as they were used to help building, farming and transport.

There are plenty of opportunities to get close to these majestic animals on a visit to Laos, including elephant trekking and safaris. There are even mahout schools, where visitors can spend anything from a day to a week learning how to feed, wash and ride the charges. Trips can be arranged in advance through Laos Travel Plan, or shop around in Luang Prabang.

AVERAGES FOR VIENTIANE

APR

MAY

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AUG

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90

236

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KEY: Hours of daylight Average rainfall (mm) *Statistics based on monthly averages Weather information provided by weather2travel.com

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Travel Plan or Green Discovery Laos – who have offices in Vientiane, Vang Vieng, Luang Prabang, Pakse and Luang Namtha – are two of the best.

The lack of development does have its down side. Even now, 20 years after this Communist country was opened to tourism, it is still fairly under-developed, even by South-East Asian standards.

There are few international flights into or out of Laos and road infrastructure is minimal.

This is good news for Laos’ eco-credentials, but it means bus travel can be arduous. The Lao people say they have two types of road:

Chumsak Kanoknan/Getty Images, Frank Zeller/AFP/Getty Images

WHEN TO GO Laos is warm and wet in May to October, and cooler and drier in November to April.

May is the hottest time of the year; November to January makes for pleasant sightseeing weather.

GETTING THERE There are currently no intercontinental flights into Laos. Fly to Vientiane from China, Vietnam, Thailand or Cambodia, to Luang Prabang from Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam, or to Pakse from Cambodia.

Other popular entry routes include bus trips from Bangkok to Vientiane or Vang Vieng, or boat trips along the Mekong from northern Thailand.

GETTING AROUND Buses connect all the main tourist centres. Flights are available between Vientiane, Luang Prabang and Pakse. Boat trips down the Mekong are an interesting way to see the country slowly.

VISAS A 30-day tourist visa is available in advance from Lao consulates or on arrival at Pakse, Vientiane or Luang Prabang airports.

CURRENCY Kip. 1 GBP = 14,000 LAK. LANGUAGE Lao, and tribal dialects.

GOING OUT A beer is 8000-14,000 LAK. ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds start from 20,000 LAK and private rooms from 40,000 LAK. SEE greendiscoverylaos.com, laostravelplan.co.uk, stayanother-day.org/country/ laos/introduction.

BIG TRIP AMERICA’S SECRET WAR

Booze fiends can “ float downstream back into town

”

“walking” and “dancing”, and you’ll know the difference when your behind has spent 12 hours or so dancing from Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang.

However, if you are short on time and can cope with the guilt from hippies you meet on the road, Laos’ main sites are easily connected by domestic flights.

Wherever you go in Laos, you’ll be sure to find what you want, whether it’s high-octane excitement or just lounging around. Kick back and take stock. Just don’t wake the locals …

NEXT WEEK: BIG TRIPS Tips on planning your adventure

VIETNAM

TUBING DOS AND DON’TS Tubing down the Nam Khan in Vang Vieng may be the most fun you ever have. It’s easy to get caught up in the spirit(s) of it all, so remember to be safe. People have drowned in the river, and Laos’ medical facilities are basic to say the least, so take precautions or a drunken afternoon could become a sober trip to Thailand for treatment.

DO Have one tube per person.

Wear a life jacket and helmet.

Look out for big rocks, trees or obstructions.

Stay clear of boats and kayaks.

Stay in a group so you can help friends.

Think twice before going on rope swings, waterslides etc. If it looks dangerous, it probably is.

DON’T Drink too much, and be aware of your limits.

Litter – keep Laos beautiful.

TNT online For a full travel guide on visiting Laos go to tntmagazine.com/travel

Tubing on the Mekong

LAOS Luang Prabang Phonsavan Vang Vieng

TNT Images, Andrew McConnell / Alamy

VIENTIANE

THAILAND Pakse Champasak

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Vientiane

Most people know about the American troops at war in Vietnam in the 1960s and ’70s, but few realise the US also carried out secret bombing raids in neighbouring Laos.

Military chiefs eager to flush out Viet Cong support, which they believed was sheltering within the country’s borders, carried out one of the largest sustained bombing raids in history, dropping 2 million tons of bombs over Laos.

An estimated 30 per cent of these failed to detonate and thousands of Lao people – many of them children – are still killed or maimed by cluster bombs, or ‘bombies’, each year.

Although there are NGOs working to clear this mass of unexploded ordnance, tourists should still be careful about heading too far off the beaten track in Laos, especially around Phonsavan and its mysterious Plain of Jars.

81

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Relax and recharge your batteries with us at the weekend. Great for singles, couples or groups of mates We pick up every Friday evening in our luxury mini coach at 6:30pm from West London. We ride all day over the Brecon Beacons national park through rivers, ancient bridleways on and around the third highest peak in the UK – it is rugged. On Sunday we do a tour of the Cotswolds on the way home. Suitable for beginners, intermediate or the experienced. You will stay in our own Welsh cottage with large hot tub next to a river. The food is all homemade and high quality. At night we party and do not get up early on Sunday. Group size 16 max. Price is £195 and includes return transport, 2 nights' accomm, all food, full day's ride and tub. The sore ass is on us. There are no hidden extras. Other activities fishing £165, hill walking £155, cycling £195 or you can just chill £155.

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Endless canals, bustling nightlife, the redlight district.

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Experience the passion and spirit of Brazil at the world’s biggest party...

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To advertise your property call 020 7341 6767 THE HOUSE SHARE SPECIALIST LONDON BRIDGE | TOWER BRIDGE | CANARY WHARF We are a professional house share management company designed to fulfil all needs of antipodeans in the UK. We offer: Stunning Houses, Fantastic Locations, Amazing Flexibility. From £70 p/w all inclusive.

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Sarah (not your real name but you know who you are) from Clapham: Your area

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114

All those dry cornflakes eating competitions, nights at the Redback, and what about the time when you thought the blender full of spew was a cocktail? Should we mention the blow-up doll incident?

Nah. We’ll save that one for ya wedding day. All your Acton family.

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I expect better next year, or I’m gonna kidnap Mrs Claus and Rudolph and trade them to the Taliban for a Playstation. At least then I’ll have something to show for the so-called festive season. James in Fulham.

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com Steve and Briony: Congrats

on getting preggers. It’s great news – I’m so thrilled for you both. I can’t believe that love, and now a sprog, have sprung from that minging restaurant in Camden Town where you met all those years ago. (Soon to be uncle) Robert. PS. Please don’t name the baby Max. The Mews: Wishing all of you girls a happy new year, wherever in the world you are celebrating. xJ. To Nadine, the hot Kiwi girl at She Bu Walkabout last Wednesday: I pashed your

friend but I really wanted to hook up with you. She was easy and I was drunk, but I thought you were way sexier.

I’d love to pack down with you in a scrum sometime. Derryn from Dunedin. dwazzba69@ hotmail.com Someone to love this New Year’s Eve: I’ll be in the Frog

and Forget-Me-Not dressed up as Dorothy from The Wizard Of Oz. Will you be my Tin Man? I’ve got all the heart you need. Email me at soulmates@ commitment.com.

The girl in the Santa dress:

You showed me your knickers in Joe Cool’s on Friday night – twice. I meant to get your name and number but you ran off suddenly with your redhead girlfriend. I’m sure we will knock it off this Christmas. I have a present for you. Email DaddySanta@ hotmail.com Wallo: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away – do that again Wallo and I’ll kick your bollocks in. Mezza.

Brett from Perth: We met at the Three Kings in West Kensington on Sunday, December 6. We had a chat about rugby and what to do

Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

Q

I moved to London a few months ago to be with my British boyfriend.

I thought it would be fun, but I’m homesick, bored and unhappy. My boyfriend is totally different over here and completely insensitive to my needs. Should I try to stick it out or just give up?

A

Isn’t it amazing how your romance has changed now your boyfriend

tntmagazine.com

is back in his real world?

No more lazy days at the beach and nights out at the pub. Now he’s got to work, and fit in visits to his mum

and dad. And that’s before he spends time watching football with his mates.

It sounds to me as though your holiday relationship has

in London for Christmas. It would be cool to see you again.

If you’re keen to meet, drop me a line at sophievcallister@ gmail.com. Soph.

Leah: Happy birthday for Sunday, princess! We hope it’s a good one filled with chocolates, Dior and champers – what more could a girl like you want? Can’t wait to celebrate with ya when we get back to civilisation. Hugs and kisses, Annie and Rach.

Jonesy: Hey old friend, I’m sad to see you leave London town, but forever grateful for all the good times we’ve shared. Nights at the Reddy, lazy Sundays at Shazza’s, and chicken nugget fights in the backyard – it’s been awesome! Look after yourself and see you on the other side.

Mr Hanky.

To Michelle: I crashed in your bed after your house party last weekend, but woke up in a pile of spew and did a runner. Sorry about that.

It was nothing personal and I didn’t want to wake you.

Drop me a line if you fancy round two. Rozz-Dog. Jess: I put my heart on the line and said I loved you. I meant it, I really did, but for some reason it scared you off. What’s a bloke supposed to do? I don’t want to lose you, but don’t know where to go from here.

Help me to help you. Ben.

just navigated its way into the real world, which is a place that takes time to get used to, especially when it’s all new.

For the sake of your sanity though, you need to get out and meet new friends – find a fun job, or join a club. In short: get a life of your own.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

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