TNT Magazine / Issue 1397

WIN A TOUR OF SPAIN AND PORTUGAL Live, Work & Travel

June 7-13 2010 Issue 1397 tntmagazine.com

FOOTBALL FEVER World Cup glory beckons in South Africa

E INTHSE IBD EST

VENUES LONDON H ALL TO WATCMES THE GA

PLUS BAFANA BAFANA’S DRIVING FORCE Steven Pienaar bucks the pressure SOCCEROO LYNCHPIN Brett Emerton’s one last chance THE ALL WHITES’ MAIN MAN Ryan Nelsen leads by example

MOUNTAIN ADVENTURE Trek to Everest Base Camp

£1 where sold

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS Make new friends in London

RETURNING HOME All you need to know

URBAN HOTSPOT Discover the buzz of Bristol

+ JOBS ■ SPORT ■ LONDON ■ NEWS ■ CINEMA ■ FREIGHT

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this week June 7-13 / Issue 1397 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

Adidas, Front Cover: Getty Images

EDITOR’S LETTER Even if you’re not a football fan, the 2010 World Cup in South Africa is going to be huge. For the lowdown on your team, and the best pubs, bars and clubs to watch the action, check out our World Cup special, from page 49.

Or for some relationship and sex advice with a difference, don’t miss Dear Reuben on page 16 – our love doctor now has a partner in crime.

96 Steep peaks: challenge yourself at Everest Base Camp

73 RETURNING HOME

DANIEL LANDON

73 Careers 75 TIMING IS EVERYTHING: Deciding when to move home is a big step 78 Money 81 Coming & Going

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND IN ME: Ways to meet new people in London 12 Food & Drink 14 Spotted 16 Silly Buggers

REGULARS 4 Letters 6 Wins 146 Desperately Seeking

19 ENTERTAINMENT 19 Celebrity News 20 TNT Life 21 Look Who’s Talking: Christopher Egan 22 Cinema 25 Culture

26 MUSIC & CLUBS 26 30 32 33

Music Music Listings Clubbing Clubbing Listings

83 TRAVEL 84 Up and coming: Bristol is now a trendy place to visit

34 NEWS & SPORT 34 36 38 41 42 43 44 46 47

Australia News New Zealand News South Africa News The Week In Sport Rugby NRL AFL World Cup General

49 WORLD CUP ON TAP 51 CHEERS & BEERS: The best venues for getting behind your team 59 PACE TO BURN: SA is pinning its hopes on Steven Pienaar 62 GAME ON: Brett Emerton on the Socceroos’ World Cup chances 64 ALL WHITE ON THE NIGHT: Ryan Nelsen is optimistic for the NZ side

49 Get the inside track on World Cup 2010

83 Global Vision 84 PLAYING IT COOL: Bristol is emerging as a hip UK destination 86 Late Deals 87 TNTT Weekender: Bruges 88 GOING UNDERGROUND: Explore Málaga’s cave life 90 Hotshots 92 Travel Tips 93 Travel News 94 On The Road 95 Top Five 96 ARE WE THERE, YETI?: Spectacular treks at Everest Base Camp 10 Be social: how to meet new people in London

EDITORIAL Editor Daniel Landon Deputy editor Samantha Baden Chief sub-editor Janine Jorgensen Subs Laura Adcock | Jahn Vannisselroy Travel editor Janine Kelso Sport editor Tom Sturrock Music editor Alison Grinter Web editor Frankie Mullin Staff writer Rebecca Kent Editorial assistant Inger Smith DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann ART & PICTURES Art director Shabir Mahmood Senior Designer Astrid Breacker Designer Laura Doyle Picture editor Shila Sultana Picture researcher Laila Pacheco SALES Publishing director Jeff Perkins Classified advertising manager Jaqui Ward Key accounts Charlotte Page Recruitment sales exec Andy Mabbitt Classified sales exec Cameron Knapp Sales support Alana Topatig MARKETING & EVENTS Head of marketing and events Catherine Gilbert Marketing exec Danielle Tessari Marketing and events exec Christina McFarlane Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Financial controller Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Alexandra Buchlakova PRODUCTION Head of production Libby West Production manager Jon Cooke Production assistant Justine Mackay TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Receptionist Lisa Lowe TNT Publishing Ltd Nightflight Distribution Ltd PRINTED BY St Ives Web Ltd NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images PUBLISHER

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TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group.

Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Tim, I know the feeling (‘Tune in, people!’ TNT Letters) – I hate that people don’t even make eye contact on the Tube, let alone communicate. We’re not the only ones either, so I have decided to wear an ‘I Can Talk, Me!’ badge on my way to work. Hopefully if this social initiative takes off, soon we’ll have plenty of chatter on the Underground.

Print yourself a badge for free at icantalk.me.

If you see me on the Tube wearing the badge, come and say hello. I’m fed up with my iPod anyway.

Liv Tudor, via email

➥ TNT 1396 MAY 31-JUN 6 THE LURE OF BRITAIN Otto’s ‘Is the grass greener?’ letter touched a nerve with me. Given I’m a Kiwi, I am amused that you think we’d prefer to live in a cooler, more populated, less hospitable and more polluted environment than New Zealand.

But we Antipodeans move here so we can see Europe without having to fork out

so much to see over here that we’d be stupid not to pop over for a few years. Britain is great, Europe is great, but most of us wouldn’t trade it in for our own spot back home.

locals in Australia, there’s high unemployment in South Africa, and New Zealand is known as ‘The land of the long white cloud’, plus the weather isn’t that great in many parts!

Kris Knight, via email

Matt Cross, via email

Has Otto even been to Australia, New Zealand or South Africa? It’s not all beer and skittles.

South Africans tend to move here because there are better opportunities for educated people to find well-paid jobs

Grey weather and arrogant locals notwithstanding, Britain is a beautiful country.

Speaking as a South African, travel is extremely expensive from South Africa, and though travelling to Eurozone countries is not as cheap as it used to be, there are so many other options to consider.

As for the culture, there is more to the UK than crumbling churches. Consider also that our culture only goes back a couple of hundred years.

My life here is so completely different to South Africa, and I absolutely love it! When I can no longer handle the lack of sun, I take a holiday in a sunny climate – simple.

When I can no longer “ handle the lack of sun,

I take a holiday – simple thousands of lowly New Zealand dollars on trips to the opposite side of the globe.

Although the pound isn’t what it used to be, career opportunities are still far better here than I could ever hope to find in New Zealand – in every sector, not only bar work!

Yes, it’s great back home, but there is so much going on and

NEXT WEEK IN

”

and because of the lower crime rates. New Zealanders move here to do things they couldn’t experience at home and to escape exorbitant student loan repayments. Australians move because we need a break from the nanny state and friends who decided to settle down early, have kids, buy a house and not have a life.

There are plenty of arrogant

Travel

Sherilee Nairn, Bromley

TNT online Catch up with your fellow TNT readers and share your views at tntmagazine.com/forums

Sport

Magical Egypt: take a cruise on the Nile

Andrew Symonds: Cricket’s bad boy suits up for Surrey

Trustees of the British Museum

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PHONE

The British Museum: soak up some culture and history

➥ TNT 1395 MAY 24-30 WORD ON THE STREET

LETTER OF THE WEEK

YOUR SAY GET STUCK IN

In response to Otto, who asks why Aussies, Kiwis and Saffas love Britain (‘Is the grass greener?’, TNT 1396), people always want what they don’t have.

New Zealand and Australia don’t have long histories, which makes us interested in experiencing different cultures. Many of us enjoy living in the UK because no matter what your interest is, there are loads of

WIN letters@tntmagazine.com letters@tntmagazine.com

other people into it too– be it sci-fi, history, music or boozing.

Because there is the population to support them, there are many shows, exhibitions, museums, festivals and pubs. There is always something new to try.

So get out there and explore. It will either make you appreciate what you have, or make you realise the grass really is greener.

Diana, via email Letter of the week wins a Northern Rocker tour of Ireland from Shamrocker (shamrockeradventures.com), valued at £119. Letters may be edited. Prize is not transferable. Your Say is a reader forum and does not represent the opinions of TNT or its staff.

TNT Images, Getty Images,

COMMUNITY CORNER ARE YOU GETTING TNT? WHERE TO PICK UP THE MAG TNT is about to start coming at you in even more places across London each week.

TNT’s publishing director Jeff Perkins (left in picture) has signed a new magazine distribution deal with Mike Brown’s Emblem Direct – who also distribute City AM, the capital’s daily financial free sheet, all over London.

You’ll continue to find TNT Magazine’s great mix of travel and lifestyle in all the usual places every week,

London

Uncover the capital’s best alfresco entertainment spots

and in some new ones too.

If you can’t find a copy, email distribution@tntmagazine.com.

Entertainment

Tap Dogs bring their stomping show back to the West End

WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

A SEVEN-DAY TOUR OF SPAIN AND PORTUGAL

TNTT and Busabout have teamed up to give one lucky reader a six-stop Busabout flexitrip pass for two people, which includes a seven-day tour of Spain and Portugal.

Use your flexitrip pass to get from London to your choice of more than 30 locations in Europe before meeting your tour in Toledo, Spain.

Spend the next seven days taking in the highlights of Portugal and Spain – feast on tapas, watch flamenco in its spiritual home of Granada and drink jerez (sherry) at its birthplace, before heading to Tarifa and then to Lagos for great beaches and awesome nightlife.

When your tour has finished you can use your flexitrip passes to keep travelling or head back to London.

Enter at tntmagazine.com/ competitions.

Âť See busabout.com

WIN MORE 4 14 22 32 32 90 90 92 94

Ireland tour Guidebooks Cinema tickets Clubbing tickets to Kinky Malinki Free copies of Defected Ibiza 2010 A three-day tour of Scotland Photography course Cash and guidebooks A trip to Bath and Stonehenge

PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 1395: Vandit 10 tickets: Jana Brown, Mark Karnani

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

WORLD CUP SCREENINGS FREE WHAT: With the World Cup kicking off this Friday, TNT is hosting screenings at Infernos in Clapham, in association with Contiki.

WHEN: Catch South Africa v Mexico on June 11 and Germany v Australia on June 13. There’s also screenings on June 16, 19, 20 and 23, plus any knockout stage matches involving Oz, New Zealand, South Africa and England will be shown.

DO IT BECAUSE: You can watch the action on a big screen, cheer on your team with fellow fans, down a cheap drink, and party on afterwards.

8

» Infernos, Clapham High St, SW4 7UH

Clapham Common (020 7720 7633; infernos.co.uk). See page 51 for more

TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED AT PROUD CAMDEN £10 One of London’s hippest bars has relaunched its Friday night with a “dark circus” theme, replete with flame-throwers, dancers and psychedelia.

Capital idea: Cruise the canals If you’ve only ever seen London through the grimy window of a train or from the back seat of a cab, then you should definitely mix it up and check out north London from the waterways.

Canals were integral to London’s development as a metropolis – they were used to ship all kinds of cargo from the docks into the city centre, with Regent’s Canal, an offshoot of the major Grand Union canal, one of the busiest routes.

Nowadays, boats laden with

coal have been replaced with more sedate passenger vessels.

There are different routes to take for a cruise on the canals, but the best is between Camden and Little Venice.

There are several different operators offering rides, but the Canal Museum is a good place to start.

» The Stables Market, NW1 8AH Camden Town (proudcamden.com).

Jun 11

BRITISH COMIC ART £10 A collaboration between the country’s best-known cartoonists and comedy writers, this exhibition explores British comic art from the 1600s to the present. Equal parts slapstick and satire.

» Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG Pimlico (tate.org.uk). Jun 9-Sep 5

» London Canal Museum, N1 9RT King’s Cross (canalmuseum.org.uk).

From £8 VERDICT: BETTER THAN THE TUBE

BRITAIN EXPLAINED LONDON BY NUMBERS

100,000

People left homeless after the Great Fire of London in 1666 Source: bbc.co.uk

tntmagazine.com

JEREMY PAXMAN Jeremy Paxman has worked for the BBC as a journalist and presenter since 1977, and is renowned for his uniquely forthright, sometimes abrasive, interviewing style.

He has hosted Newsnight since 1989, a role that has allowed him to conduct several memorable interviews. In 1997, Conservative politician Michael Howard offered what Paxman felt were evasive answers

about the dismissal of a prison governor. Paxman proceeded to ask the same question 14 times, but still did not receive a direct answer.

It’s become a YouTube classic.

In 2003, former UK prime minister Tony Blair was trying to justify the invasion of Iraq. Paxman asked Blair about his relationship with George Bush and whether they “prayed together”, to which Blair became noticeably indignant.

ELK BAR BEER GARDEN & SMOKIN’ BBQ PIT

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QUEEN’S CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS FROM £16 The warm-up tournament for Wimbledon is a traditional part of the English summer, and offers an accessible alternative to the All England Championships.

» Queen’s Club, Palliser Rd, W14 9EQ Baron’s Court (queensclub.co.uk). Jun 7-13

MELTDOWN FESTIVAL PRICES VARY This annual musical showcase – one of London’s best – contains a full sweep of offerings, from indie and electro to classical. There’s something for everyone.

» Southbank Centre, SE1 8XX Waterloo (southbankcentre.co.uk).

Jun 12-21

Getty Images, BBC

Noon til 8pm Saturdays and Sundays RUGBYROCKS £15

EL RUMBON CUBANO £10

This new addition to the summer festival scene is a fusion of sevens rugby and live music. You can register your own side or just get along to support the teams and listen to the live acts after downing a few pints.

This monthly event delivers an authentic taste of Cuba to London. It’s a great night out, with dancers and musicians on hand to keep the party humming.

» Athletic Ground, Kew Foot Rd, TW9 2SS Richmond (rugbyrocks7s.com). Jun 12

GOURMET BBQ BURGERS AT £4.95 2-4-1 COCKTAILS £8.90 PITCHERS OF COCKTAIL £2 STUBBIES OF VB

» Nueva Costa Dorada, Hanway St, W1T 1UX Tottenham Court Road (costadoradarestaurant.co.uk).

Jun 13

587 Fulham Road, Fulham, London, SW6 5UA Tel: 020 7385 6940 Email: info@elkbar.com www.elkbar.com

YOU’VE GOT A

FRIEND

IN ME

ly There’s no need to while away your time in London bored and lone when there are endless ways to make new buddies WORDS REBECCA KENT

N

igel no mates? Don’t worry. There are groups, clubs and societies in London to help you make new friends and they cover interests from stitching and surfing, to stuffing your face.

FIT FRIENDS Freedom London Surf Club What is it? A Facebook group where surfers organise surfing trips.

Who’s it for? Waxheads with an itch to scratch.

» See Freedom London Surf Club on Facebook

Come Play Sport What is it? A sports and social club where you can register yourself or a team to play dodgeball, ultimate frisbee or water polo.

Who’s it for? Those who like a different kind of game.

» See comeplay.co.uk

THE LOVING KIND Antipodate What is it? A dating website only for New Zealanders, Aussies and Saffas.

Who’s it for? The lovelorn lot of us in the city.

» See antipodate.co.uk

TRAVEL BUDDIES Find a Travel Buddy What is it? You want to get out and see the big wide world but don’t want to go it alone. People in this online forum are in the same boat.

Who’s it for? Anyone a few pilgrims short of a van tour.

» See findatravelbuddy.co.uk

London Hash House Harriers What is it? Two separate pastimes, running and drinking, become one, with organised group runs followed by a hardearned beer.

Who’s it for? Have running legs and a drinking arm? Get involved!

» See londonhash.org

» See lnzrugby.co.uk tntmagazine.com

Just two glasses in, Cruise was only too eager to recount the Oprah story … again

Getty Images

LNZRFC What is it? A rugby and social club for Kiwis and friends, with annual matches, hangis and Speight’s on tap.

Who’s it for? Anyone who loves scrums and steamed pudding.

THE NAKED TRUTH SOME THINGS ARE JUST TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE

CULTURE VULTURES Live Music Friends What is it? A group where live music fans can find gig buddies and people to chew the musical fat with.

Who is it for? Anyone who lives by the beat of a drum.

» See meetup.com/live-music-friends The London Movie Meetup Group What is it? A club for moviegoers who like to deconstruct a film over a coffee and cake, or a lager after viewings.

Who’s it for? The popcorn elite.

» See movies.meetup.com/338

West End Club London What is it? An opportunity to learn other languages and share a beer with people of many nationalities.

Who’s it for? True internationalists.

» See westendclublondon.co.uk

Stitch London What is it? A knitting (and bitching, and cake-eating, and beer-drinking) club for people at all skill levels.

LONDON

For the exhibitionist that needs an audience, this one’s for you. London Male Naturists is a “definitive guide to all that is naked going on in and around London,” says the website’s administrator.

The administrator wants to hear from anyone who can suggest venues, both indoors or outdoors, which may be suitable places to get your kit off without causing offence. TNT Magazine’s roving mole assures us that some of you are partial to a public dash in the birthday suit.

Why wait? » See londonmalenaturists.com

11

Silly hats are often a great ice breaker. Alcohol’s a good back-up

Who’s it for? Fiesty craft masters.

» See stitchldn.com

LONDON CALLING Every Two Weeks What is it? A group that organises two free London social events each month, including barbecues, walks, boat parties and sushi nights.

Who’s it for? Anyone whose New Year’s resolution was to see and do more in London.

» See everytwoweeks.com

London Riverside Meetup What is it? This group visits restaurants, museums and clubs located along the Thames.

Who’s it for? Anyone still to discover the range of riverside attractions.

» See meetup.com/socialonthethames City Socialising What is it? An online forum for Londoners looking for a pal, lover or new social network.

Who’s it for? Anyone whose Facebook friend count has plateaued.

» See london.citysocialising.com

Yum Cha Club What is it? Discover yum cha restaurants throughout London.

Who’s it for? Those who’d plump for yum cha over a Sunday roast.

TNT Images

» See meetup.com/yumcha

Chop to it: make friends over food

THE EXPAT FACTOR Britain-Australia Society What is it? A social network for Aussies and Brits, with a bursting events calendar.

Who’s it for? Anyone prepared to give

New mates: where there’s wool, there’s a way

and take some friendly ribbing.

» See britain-australia.org.uk

New Zealand Society What is it? A society promoting Kiwi interests in the UK. It started as a dining club, but is now so much more.

Who’s it for? Silver fern aficionados.

» See nzsociety.co.uk

Sasi What is it? A social group for professional South Africans, with gatherings such as wine tastings and braais.

Who’s it for? Saffas who like people that won’t make fun of their accents.

» See sasi-events.com

tntmagazine.com

FOOD & DRINK

BAR REVIEW The Griffin ★★★★★

LONDON

The Griffin, 93 Leonard Street, EC2A 4RD 020 7739 6719 Old Street

THE SCENE A Shoreditch bar that feels genuinely cool without being as posturing as some of the haunts in this neck of the woods. The

12

Go Spanish

Griffin’s scruffiness is part of its charm and you can tell that the mismatched furniture and flyer-laden walls have seen their fair share of debauchery.

There’s a pool table, a jukebox and regular live acoustic sessions upstairs.

THE GRUB Just peanuts and some bar snacks.

BEHIND THE BAR There’s a good selection of beer,

WINES TO CHEER ON SOUTH AFRICA Boschendal Chardonnay

high heat, drop in four pieces of chicken and cook until golden. Remove and then fry the remaining chicken in the same way.

When all the chicken is done return it to the pan, pour in the wine and enough water to cover. Season. Add the bay leaves, crushed cumin and coriander seeds and the peppers and garlic. Bring to the boil, put on the lid, and turn down the heat to a gentle simmer. Cook for 60-80 mins.

About 20 mins before

serving, stir in the chickpeas and coriander. Adjust the seasoning. Thicken the sauce by dissolving a spoonful of flour in a cup of cold water and whisking into the pan.

Finish cooking with the lid off.

» Tapas by Carlos Horillo and Patrick Morcas with photography

by Gus Filgate (Kyle Cathie, £14.99) is out now

2-4-1 BURGERS

This 2008 vintage is just the thing to toast the World Cup. Think big citrus flavours and perfect for seafood. £7.99 from Waitrose and Booths.

Flagstone Noon Gun A blend of Chenin Blanc, Viognier and Sauvignon Blanc, this 2009 vintage is light and bursting with pineapple flavours. Perfect with nibbles. £6.99 from Tesco.

Boschendal Rosé

NOW ONL Y £5

Nothing says summer like a glass of rosé, and this one is a cracker. A lovely colour and not too dry. £6.99 from Morrisons, Majestic and Sainsbury’s.

TNT Images

GO TO TNTMAGAZINE.COM/LBB tntmagazine.com

FRANKIE MULLIN

Pollo con pimentos rojos

Carlos Horrillo and Patrick Morcas have been at the helm of much-loved tapas restaurant El Parador in Camden for 20 years. They have just released a new book Tapas from which comes this recipe for Spanish-style chicken.

WHAT YOU NEED: 1 cup plain flour; olive oil; 2 red peppers, sliced; 2 garlic cloves, finely sliced; 8 chicken thighs or drumsticks; 750ml white wine; 2 bay leaves; ½ tsp crushed cumin seeds; ½ tsp crushed coriander seeds; 400g tin chickpeas; 2 sprigs coriander, coarsely chopped THE WORK: Lightly dust the chicken with flour. Place in a casserole dish on a low heat and add 10 dashes of olive oil.

Add the sliced peppers and garlic and sauté very gently until soft and golden. Remove with a slotted spoon and leave to one side.

Return the pan to medium-

including some real ales on pump. Basic choice of wines and full selection of spirits on offer.

BILL PLEASE A pint is £3.20, bottled beers are £3 and spirits are from £3.50.

VERDICT If you’re feeling rock ’n’ roll, hit The Griffin.

If you’re not, you will be by the time you leave.

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SPOTTED ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

LONDON

Call us on 020 7373 3377 or come down to the TNT office so we can ID you.

You’ve won three Lonely Planet (lonelyplanet.com) guides of your choice. PLUS for another chance to win, log on to tntmagazine.com/ gallery and see if you’ve been circled.

14

REVOLUTION Clapham High St, SW4 7TB Sat, May 29 Photos by: Marek Sikora / TNT Images

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THE ER TEMRPAP T

PLAN B

BEAT ALPHA

IP GOSS

EY HOCK

THE TING TINGS

BOWLING FOR SOUP DAISY DARES YOU I BLAME COCO TAYLOR HAWKINS & THE COATTAIL RIDERS THE 88 NEON HITCH BLUEY ROBINSON MY TOY BOX ALAN POWNALL THE KUSH

★

TNT online

FRIDAY 2 JULY

★

To find out whether you’ve been spotted log on to tntmagazine.com/gallery

★

SATURDAY 3 JULY

★

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LONDON

SILLY BUGGERS

16

I’ve been with a guy for three years. He wants us to live together, but I’m old-fashioned and don’t want to share a place while we’re unmarried. What should I do?

Q

A

Back in the 1930s, I was in silent pictures – in fact, I was one of the big stars of the day – but with the arrival of the talkies, everything changed.

One minute I was being invited to glittering parties and having wild, opiumfuelled orgies with my male co-stars; the next, studios were telling me my voice

TOOL OF THE WEEK John Key

A

Co-habitation can seem like a giant leap of faith, but it can also be life-changing.

In prison, I had a cellmate who pressured me into some stuff I didn’t like at first but later grew to enjoy.

Your caution about moving in with your man is fair enough.

Living with someone else can feel a little restrictive and even invasive – like getting plugged by a heavily tattooed cio Sweet Igna Latino with

your face pressed up against the wrought iron, your beloved mother’s voice echoing in your head, while Ignacio’s gang distracts the guards by hollering and throwing rolls of burning toilet paper from their cells – I can still see them cascading to the colourless concrete below like fallen angels aflame with lost innocence.

Had I been in solitary, I’d have missed out on all that and Ignacio and I would never have married.

» Got a sex or relationship worry? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

# 373

HEAD TO THE GULF OF MEXICO TO HELP CLEAN UP THE OIL SPILL

Silly Buggers™

contiki.com contiki.com

Getty Images

And his member of parliament The Kiwi prime minister rejected reports his wife was up the duff by saying, “I’d be extremely worried, because I’ve had a vasectomy.”

It’s hard to fault the logic, though he didn’t need to get quite so snippy about it.

To his credit, Key admitted he had perhaps offered a bit too much information, but he probably enjoyed leaving a room of journalists stunned into a pregnant pause.

You have to admire his balls, but Johnny boy: keep it in your pants next time.

wasn’t good enough for film – they offered to dub me with another actress’s voice, but my pride prevented me from doing a deal and I was soon usurped by those honeytoned harlots.

Like me, you’re a woman out of time, waltzing half a step behind a world that’s changed too quickly. Spike your man’s dinner and wheel him to the registrar office. Don’t commit the sin of pride as I did.

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STAR SPOTTING Inger Smith WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ

NEW ZEALAND

➩

BARING ALL: Sweet About Me popstress Gabriella Cilmi turned from angelic teen to foxy babe over night after the release of her latest album, Ten. Now the young Aussie regrets posing topless for FHM and says she felt tricked into shedding her clothes.

“They removed my top, they didn’t say they were going to do that. I was fed the wrong information,” she told Bang Showbiz.

Poor Cilmi, there are lessons to be learned for the 19-yearold, like don’t trust anyone in the harsh world of showbiz.

A GOOD WEEK FOR

She once made a good wage as the model in the Pantene commercial.

Years later she’s back as the face (or hair) of the brand’s latest TV ad. Déjà vu? No, it’s just Rachel Hunter shampooing her hair again.

Getty Images

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

Mike Munro’s bad temper and old-school ways have left young producers in tears, causing tension on new Aussie TV show Sunday Night, the Daily Telegraph reports.

TOO COOL FOR FANS There was much screaming and gnashing of teeth as vampire fever hit Sydney.

Twi-hards were getting their knickers in a twist as they tried to catch a glimpse of their idols who were in town to promote Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

While Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner charmed 4000 near-hysterical fans at Luna Park, Kristen Stewart, who plays the film’s heroine, Bella, spent most of the promo tour

perfecting her impersonation of a sulky moo.

Despite enjoying herself on a “hardcore” jet boat ride in Sydney Harbour, Stewart soon reverted to her sour face default setting when back on land, flipping the bird at snappers and ignoring fans.

One admirer, who asked for a pic of the star but was refused, told News.com.au: “She was in a bad mood because of the photographers.” Oh, boo hoo.

SAY WHAT?

”I even like when they’re wet and you smell them warm, like a baked good” Sarah Jessica Parker enjoys a good diaper

Woman’s Weekly: TV presenter Jason Gunn and his producer wife, Janine MorrellGunn, talk about their love for one another; and Fergie wishes she could turn back time.

New Idea: Read all about businessman Mike Pero’s blind date bride.

AUSTRALIA Woman’s Day: Schapelle Corby’s mum reveals her daughter’s intentions of having a baby – whether she’s in prison or not; and country singer Adam Brand marries dancing partner Jade Hatchett from Dancing With The Stars.

New Idea: Home And Away’s Ada Nicodemou and hubby Chrys Xipolitas talk about the fight to save their marriage.

SOUTH AFRICA You: Singer Amor Vittone speaks out about her pain as husband and former Springbok captain Joost van der Westhuizen was caught on a sex/drugs tape last year, saying: “I don’t trust Joost any more,” and adding: “I need to find myself again.”

Heat: Popular comedian Trevor Noah denies stealing material from other acts.

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Aged 18-55 Healthy & taking no medication A light or non smoker Prepared to give up some free-time

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www.surrey.ac.uk/clinicalresearchcentre In return you will be compensated for your time and travel.

This study has been reviewed by an Independent Research Ethics Committee

tntmagazine.com

ENTERTAINMENT

CELEBRITY NEWS

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

19

TNT LIFE ENTERTAINMENT

NEW-LOOK SA TIMES Our favourite South African magazine has undergone a makeover, and now has a slick, easy-to-read design.

Get your copy from the green bins at Tube and rail stations, Saffa bars and shops in southwest London.

» southafricantimes.co.uk

20

TNT WORLD CUP SCREENINGS Share the excitement of the World Cup with your fellow countrymen and women at screenings hosted by TNT and Contiki at Infernos in Clapham.

Entry is free with a beer on arrival, plus matches will be shown on a huge screen with surround sound.

This week’s World Cup parties will

be held on Friday, June 11 for the South Africa v Mexico match and on Sunday, June 13 for Australia v Germany. » Infernos, Clapham High St, SW4 7UH Clapham Common. See tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010/ screenings

AUSSIE PLAY Holding The Man Based on the awardwinning book, Holding The Man is a hilarious yet moving play starring Jane Turner from Kath & Kim.

price of £5 (plus postage) at tntmagazine.com/lbb

TNT LANGUAGE SCHOOL pack, and refreshments.

See tntmagazine.com/ summerschool.

» TNT offices, Child’s Pl, SW5 9RX

TNT CAR HIRE OFFER WHAT Heading out on a road trip?

Get a 5 per cent discount on any type of rental car in more than 60 countries.

Earl’s Court

WHEN

TNT online For a full list of events on the TNT calendar go to tntmagazine.com/events

All year.

WHERE Book at easycar.com/ tntmagazine.

TNT Images, Getty Images

TNT and The Language Machine are running Italian, Spanish and French classes for beginners, as well as a Spanish Plus class for those who have completed a Spanish course with us and want to continue learning.

The five-week courses cost £65 (£75 when booking after June 20) and include a qualified tutor, language

tntmagazine.com

TNT’S LITTLE BLACK BOOK Want to make the most of London without blowing your budget? Get a copy of TNT’s Little Black Book to help you make life in the capital cheaper.

The pocket-sized book includes over £1500 worth of vouchers, so you can enjoy free drinks, food and gym, 2-4-1 entrance to clubs, and discounted tickets to theatre, football, cricket and more.

» Order a copy for the special

» Trafalgar Studios, SW1A Embankment. Until 2DY Jul 3. Get top-price tickets for only £25 (normally £44).

See tntmagazine.com/ events for details

SPOTLIGHT ON

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

Beginning his career as a heart-throb on soapie Home And Away, the Aussie actor has graduated to Hollywood with a star role in a new romcom

ENTERTAINMENT

Christopher Egan INTERVIEW WILL LAWRENCE Was it tough to kiss Amanda Seyfried in your new movie Letters To Juliet?

Very difficult. She is not attractive at all!

No, it was amazing. It was very easy to fall in love, and being in Italy and doing romantic scenes was totally awesome.

She was a lot of fun to work with.

so you don’t have a big bank account.

I only had a pretty small amount of money to survive for two or three months and I didn’t know if I was going to be slogging it, working in a restaurant or having to find another job. But I was fortunate enough to get the first job I went for.

Are you romantic?

Yes, I consider myself a hopeful romantic.

What did your parents say when you up and left?

So what’s the most romantic thing you have done?

We all grew up acting … I guess they just knew I would take the risk and be willing to travel. Once I had worked on the show, I always had it in my sights to move to the US because I knew that was where the opportunities would be. When I was

I did a road trip with a girl. We started in Paris and made our way across Europe and down to Italy … There is nothing as romantic as spending that amount of time with someone without killing each other!

I always had “ it in my sights to move to the US ” Did it work out?

We are not together any more. She was French and crazy. It is funny.

She came on pretty strong in the beginning – it was like pretty much the second time I hung out with her that she lit the candles in her room and everything, the strawberries, the cream and champagne, and I was actually a little freaked out! There is timing for everything. I think the second day was a bit too soon for all that.

When you left Australia for Hollywood did you go out into the great wide ocean, or did you have a job lined up?

It felt as if I was going out into the great wide ocean. You don’t get paid a lot of money on Home And Away,

thinking of going, Heath Ledger was the youngest Australian actor to be doing it, so he was the inspiration to every young actor like myself.

Did you go crazy with your first Hollywood pay cheque?

Yeah, I wasn’t used to making that amount of money. I was being very generous with girls … and I moved into an apartment in LA that was way too expensive … I learnt some financial lessons early on.

Does being an actor make it easier to chat up girls?

In LA when you say you are an actor it is kind of embarrassing because so many people say that. I have found myself making things up like, ‘I am a dolphin trainer’, something more interesting.

When did you become aware of your heart-throb status?

When I worked on Home And Away. I was really young [14 years old] and when overnight I become a teen idol or heartthrob, I learnt so many lessons … I think it went to my head a little bit, but I had really good people around me who would slap me in the face if I took it too seriously.

» Letters To Juliet is out now

DID YOU KNOW? Egan recorded a demo with a track entitled Fly Away, which was once available for free on his website.

He trained in gymnastics at the Kick Performance Group in Sydney, and put his skills to use in films Crush and Eragon.

His US TV debut was on miniseries Empire, set in Rome during 44BC. He played Agrippa, adviser to future emperor Octavian.

tntmagazine.com

21

CINEMA Black Death

SCREEN TEST: MEDIEVAL FILMS

Sean Bean, Eddie Redmayn

ENTERTAINMENT

STARRING:

22

RT 97 MINS

★★★★★

With a name like Black Death, Christopher Smith’s period thriller was always going to be a grim affair. Little can prepare you though, for what unfolds as a man is torn apart by horses, heads get chopped off and women are burnt as witches. Fortunately, there’s substance behind the gore thanks to a storyline exploring the power of faith and dangers of superstition.

The year is 1348 and, with the bubonic plague spreading throughout Europe, young friar Osmund (Redmayne), volunteers to act as a guide to a group of bloodthirsty crusaders led by Ulric (Bean).

Their mission is to find a small village that is free of disease, determine what sort of witchcraft is at work and punish those responsible.

Soon the group descends into the heart of darkness as they

1 What 1986 film stars Sean Connery as a Franciscan monk?

2 Who wrote the original novel on which that film is based?

3 On which film set in the Middle Ages is the musical comedy Spamalot based?

4 Which Aussie actor has starred in two films set in the Middle Ages, one directed

by Ridley Scott and one self-directed?

5 Name the characters he played in each film.

trudge across a landscape littered with bodies to the mysterious settlement where their faith will be tested.

Most of Black Death’s power lies in its tense build-up and it’s impossible not to be intrigued by what exactly is happening in the village

that’s free from disease.

When the denouement arrives it’s a bit of a letdown, but wholehearted performances

by Bean and Redmayne will keep you hooked.

GOOD FOR: Those who like bleak thrillers.

PIERRE DE VILLIERS

THE REEL DEAL

2 John James Preston, entrepreneur and financier 3 Mikhail Baryshnikov, famous for being a ballet dancer 4 Private Lives 5 Kristin Davis LAST WEEK’S WINNER Natalie Armstrong

GREENBERG

★★★★★ A misanthropic New Yorker (Ben Stiller) tries to get his head straight while housesitting for his brother in LA in Noah Baumbach’s thoughtprovoking offering. The script is well-observed and witty but the real drawcard is Stiller, whose impressive, multilayered performance comes as a welcome surprise.

GOOD FOR: Fans of Woody Allen films. PDV

wonderful pictures,” Del Toro said in a press release.

Jackson said he was “very sad” to see Del Toro leave The Hobbit.

Baz Luhrmann’s Australia may have been a bit of a turkey, but it was a star for Aussie tourism.

Tourism Australia chief executive Andrew McEvoy says Oz performed better than most countries last year, which is partly due to the Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman vehicle.

“Tourism Australia were clever to try and capitalise on the publicity around Australia,” he says.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Candace Bushnell

H2OIL

★★★★★ Doco-maker Sandra Walsh investigates the human cost of clamouring for oil in Alberta, Canada in a film that’s never as hard-hitting as you hope despite disturbing statistics about water pollution. Strong visuals and good editing are undermined by interviews with rather inarticulate government officials and tribal leaders.

GOOD FOR: Eco-warriors. PDV

Getty Images, Wilson Webb

Delays in production have forced Guillermo Del Toro to quit as director of the two The Hobbit movies, but the Mexican filmmaker said he would still help write the screenplays for the Lord Of The Rings prequels.

Del Toro and producer Peter Jackson said they remained committed to the films and would do everything they could to satisfy fans.

“After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as JRR Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these

For a chance to win two tickets from Vue email answers to grabs@tntmagazine.com by noon on Wednesday with ‘Cinema’ in the subject line.

WIN

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05/03/2010 09:53 tntmagazine.com

Important Tier 1 Visa Changes – 6th April 2010 From the 6th of April, points for Bachelor degrees will be reinstated for initial Tier 1 (General) visa applications. If you are already in the UK on a Tier 2 (Work Permit) visa, you may now be eligible to convert to a Tier 1 visa provided you fulfil the remaining points based requirements. Contact us now to discuss your eligibility and options!

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26/03/2010 13:15

Paco’s tip of the week.

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CULTURE GALLERIES OF MODERN LONDON This new £20m addition to the Museum of London showcases more than 7000 objects, which tell diverse stories of Londoners over the past 350 years.

At the reconstructed Georgian pleasure garden, I’m drawn in by the exquisite costumes and a film re-enactment of what it would have been like to spend an afternoon there.

Other highlights include a life-size model of a street in Victorian times, the largest exhibited collection of suffragette artifacts in the UK and the original

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Exhibition Art Deco lift from Selfridges.

The galleries are informative, but are also, in certain parts, lively and moving – I am touched by the oral histories of Blitz survivors, which are presented in a pared-back space.

A must-see for any new Londoner. SAMANTHA BADEN

25

» Museum of London, EC2Y 5HN St Paul’s (museumoflondon.org.uk).

Free

TNT online For more reviews of events in London see tntmagazine.com/whats_on

WORTH A LOOK Nature lovers should check out Robert Eadie’s It’s Wild Out There » The Air Gallery, Dover St, W1S 4NE

some cutting-edge art care of James White, former assistant •SeeBond Street (maxwigram.com). Until Jul 17. Free

Green Park (020 7409 1255; airgallery.co.uk). Until Jun 12. Free

to Gilbert & George. » Max Wigram Gallery, New Bond St, W1S 1DN

THEATRE OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK

PARADISE FOUND

MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR

BLIND FURY

Frankie Boyle

(Simon & Schuster) JUN 10

(Harper) JUN 10

In the Bafta- and Emmy-winning writer’s new story, detective inspector Travis will have to cooperate with a murderer she has already sent to prison in order to solve a new triple homicide case.

★★★★★

With a plot as daft as any operetta, the world premiere of this misjudged musical about an ageing shah of Persia who can’t get it up boasts a team laden with awards.

The shah visits AustroHungarian Vienna – where he lusts after the empress. Shuler Hensley’s Baron and Kate

Baldwin’s prostitute try to add credibility, but the lyrics are uninspired and the bawdy comedy often proves as limp as the Persian potentate’s penis. LOUISE KINGSLEY

» Menier Chocolate Factory, Southwark St, SE1 1RU London Bridge (menierchocolatefactory. com). Until Jun 26. £32

Lynda La Plante

Hilariously rude and offensive, Mock The Week’s outrageous comedian Frankie Boyle tells it like it is with his usual cynicism in his outspoken autobiography.

ORIGINAL GANGSTER

THE LOVE VERB Jane Green

Frank Lucas

(Michael Joseph)

(Ebury Press) JUN 10

JUN 10

The inspiration for the 2007 film American Gangster, Frank Lucas is New York’s most notorious drug dealer. He tells his incredible story for the first time.

In the best-selling chick lit author’s next instalment Callie gets some life-changing news and suddenly her whole family is about to understand what love really means.

Catherine Ashmore

MORE STAGE Fresh Meat is a new, darkly comic play, which taps into the themes of love and loneliness, and the desperation these feelings can drive us to. » The Courtyard Theatre, Bowling Green Walk, Pitfield St, N1 6EU

Old Street (0844 477 1000; ticketweb.co.uk).

Until Jul 4. £13

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC

MUSIC & CLUBS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Sarah Blasko Electric Ballroom, Nov 17 (0870 264 3333). £12.50 The Cat Empire Brixton Academy, Oct 23 (0844 477 2000). £19.50

BERTIE BLACKMAN Secrets And Lies (Forum 5)

26

FAST FORWARD

Johnny Clegg Hammersmith Apollo, Jun 19 (0844 844 4748). £27.50

★★★★★

Unlike many of her contemporaries, Sydney’s Bertie Blackman has crafted an electro album that doesn’t hark back to the days of rah-rah skirts and Rubik’s cube. Refreshingly un-retro, Secrets And Lies is a dark, eclectic pop album that sees Blackman and producer Lee Groves making full use of the textured and

layered sonics at their disposal to craft songs such as White Owl, with its scything strings, and the pulsing Byrds Of Prey.

Vocally, Blackman runs the gamut from PJ Harvey, Tori Amos, Leslie Feist, and yes,

even Florence Welch. And as we’ve said before, TNT Music defies anyone to put out a sexier song this year than Black Cats with its rippling ’tronics and Blackman’s sultry delivery. ALISON GRINTER

ALSO OUT THE PARLOTONES

THE DRUMS

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

Stardust Galaxies (Sovereign) South Africa’s biggest rock act du jour clock up a third album.

The Drums (Island) Brooklyn’s postpunk darlings release their hotly anticipated debut.

Bionic (RCA) The diva’s latest offering was co-written by Oz songsmith Sia.

CHARTS

Swedes reforming was “absolute zero”.

Ulvaeus was commenting on Melbourne’s AbbaWorld, an interactive exhibition showing for only the second time in the world after London.

“Australia was the first country that took Abba to heart and we never forgot about that. We always felt a lot of love from audiences there,” Ulvaeus said.

The Creative Workers’ Union of South Africa (CWUSA) and other organisations have called on people to boycott the World Cup Concert on

June 10, claiming that homegrown acts such as Freshlyground and the Soweto Gospel Choir, would be sidelined by international big hitters like Beyoncé and The Black Eyed Peas.

CWUSA president Kid Sithole also claims that “true” South African music was not represented in the current line-up, citing Ladysmith Black Mambazo’s exclusion as an example.

South African artists are equal in ability to international stars and the country must not be ignored on its own soil, he says.

AUSTRALIA

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

UK

No 1 single OMG, Usher feat.

Will.i.am No 1 album Glee: The Music Volume 3, Glee cast

No 1 single Airplanes, B.O.B. feat. Hayley Williams No 1 album Need You Now, Lady Antebellum

No 1 single Halfway Gone, Lifehouse No 1 album Our Darlings 2, Rudi Claase and Corlea Botha

No 1 single Dirtee Disco, Dizzee Rascal No 1 album Immersion, Pendulum

tntmagazine.com

Fat Freddy’s Drop The Troxy, Sep 9 (0870 264 3333). £27.50 Green Day Wembley Stadium, Jun 19 (0844 980 8001). £26-£35 Grinderman Hammersmith Apollo, Oct 1 (0844 844 4748). £25-£27 Hilltop Hoods Koko, Jul 13 (0844 847 2258). £16.50 Jack Johnson O2 Arena, Jun 30 (0844 856 0202). £30-£37 Jet Shepherds Bush Empire, Jul 18 (0844 477 2000). £25

MUSIC NEWS

If Abba were to get back together, Australia would be top of their list for a comeback tour, Björn Ulvaeus told newspaper The Age last week. But don’t hold your breath, the musician added that the chance of the four

Eels Brixton Academy, Sep 1 (0844 477 2000). £25

Kelis Shepherds Bush Empire, Oct 1 (0844 477 2000). £22.50 Don McGlashan Dingwalls, Jul 22 (0844 477 1000). £10 Hugh Masekela and The Mahotella Queens Royal Festival Hall, Nov 12 (0871 663 2501). £10-£27.50 Motörhead Brixton Academy, Nov 27 (0844 477 2000). £32.50 The Necks Barbican, Jun 26 (020 7638 8891). £15 Paramore The O2, Nov 13 (0844 856 0202). £24.50 Supertramp O2 Arena, Oct 6 (0844 856 0202). £42.50-£190

j^[

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LOAD OF SCREENS 3 FLOORS

SPORTS BAR Ă‹ FOOTBALL

Ă‹ RUGBY

Fri 11th SA v Mexico, 3pm Sat 19th Ghana v OZ, 3pm Sun 13th Germany v OZ , 7.30pm Sun 20th Italy v NZ, 3pm Wed 16th SA v Uruguay, 7.30pm Wed 23rd OZ v Serbia, 7.30pm

Sat 12th Oz v England, 10.30am Sat 12th SA v France, 1pm

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IN ASSOCIATION WITH

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Fri 11th South Africa v Mexico, 3pm Doors open @ 1pm – close @ 6pm Sat 19th Ghana v Australia, 3pm Doors open @ 1pm – close @ 9pm Sun 13th Germany v Australia, 7.30pm m Doors open @ 3pm – close @ 11p Sun 20th Italy v New Zealand, 3pm Doors open @ 1pm – close @ 6pm Wed 16th South Africa v Uruguay, 7.30pm m Doors open @ 5pm – close @ 11p Wed 23rd Australia v Serbia, 7.30pm 11pm Doors open @ 5.30pm – close @

tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010/screenings tntmagazine.com

MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK CROWDED HOUSE After the hoo-ha of their Farewell to the World concert in 1996, we thought we’d seen the back of Crowded House.

But the death of the band’s original drummer Paul Hester jolted Neil Finn and Nick Seymour into working together again, and with the help of new drummer Matt Sherrod and former Crowdies’ collaborator Mark Hart, the band went on to record 2007’s Time On Earth, providing something for Aussies and Kiwis to bicker over once more. Their new album Intriguer gets a proper airing in London this week.

29

» Hammersmith Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH Hammersmith (0844 844 4748; meanfiddler.com) Jun 8-9. £40

BON JOVI

LEONA LEWIS

While Southbank has Udderbelly, the O2 has also teed up a member of the bovine family for a summer residency – the cash cow. Or, in rock ’n’ roll terms, Bon Jovi. Having ascribed to the “When you’re on to a good thing stick to it” rule of churning out rock anthems, the quartet have sold about 120 million records worldwide.

Poor Leona, if she had one of those tell-it-like-it-is native American names she’d be known as Boring But Has A Nice Voice. But what’s this? Her Labyrinth tour has kicked off amid rumours of hissy fits over dancers’ white pants and insurance issues about onstage horse riding. Maybe the X Factor darling has some diva ’tude in her after all.

» The O2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX North Greenwich (theo2.co.uk). Jun 7-8, 10-11, 13, 17, 19-20, 22-23, 25-26. £45

» The O2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX

NEW BAND ALERT

North Greenwich (0844 856 0202, theo2.co.uk). Jun 12, 14, 16, 18. £35-£45

FESTIVAL WATCH LED Festival announce Cream Arena, plus more acts Swedes Sebastian Ingrosso and Axwell will perform at LED’s new Cream Arena. Also playing are David Guetta, Leftfield, Soulwax, Goldfrapp, and Saffas Die Antwoord.

Victoria Park (ledfestival.co.uk). Aug 27-28

O’Spada

Getty Images

THE BUZZ SO FAR O’Spada are a five-piece from Stockholm

fronted by “fauxsetto” soul singer and mastermind Julia Spada.

They’ve already made waves with their distinctive, spellbinding live shows. Their debut single Time, released last year, won them a swag of admirers, including Annie Mac, Mark Ronson and Sam Sparro (who’s done an amazing remix of it).

THE CRITICS SAY “Sublime, smoochy, mid-1980s retro dance pop.” [The Sunday Times] THE PLUG Debut album Pay Off out June 14 through

Despotz Records.

Leeds/Reading Festivals: line-ups finalised The King Blues are the final act to be added to the Main Stage, which will also feature Guns ’N’ Roses and Arcade Fire. Kids In Glass Houses, Hadouken!, 3OH!3, Band Of Skulls, Everything Everything and Rolo Tomassi will join the NME/Radio 1 Stage. (leedsfestival.com; readingfestival.com).

Aug 27-28

Standon Calling reveals theme Think whodunits and a “killer” line-up, including Buena Vista Social Club and The Magic Numbers, at ‘Murder On The Standon Express’. (standon-calling.com).

Aug 6-8 Download Festival: Wolfmother pull out The Oz rockers (below) have cancelled due to illness and will be replaced by metalcore maestros Killswitch Engage.

Donington Park, (downloadfestival.co.uk).

Jun 11-13

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC LISTINGS Supergrass Brit-pop and alt rock four-piece from Oxford.

MUSIC & CLUBS

MONDAY 7

30

Brixton Academy, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £25.

Bon Jovi The rock outfit performs its hits and songs from its album The Circle.

Unite Exploratory

O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £45-£200.

SATURDAY 12 The Bizzarros Big band tunes from the funked-up octet. Charlotte St Blues

electronica from a range of artists, accompanied by visuals. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd,

Club, Charlotte St, W1T 4QH (020 7580 0113). £7, mems £5.

W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £12.

Crawdaddy Live: Carousel Cartel, Jon Byrne And The Victims The London-based trio

Philip Clouts Quartet The pianist and his combo plays Latin and African-influenced jazz. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1

FRIDAY 11

plays alt rock and blues.

6LA (020 7613 7498). £7, concs £5.

Big Funk Corporation Modern

Halfmoon Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £5.

Hot Club Of Boisdale

R’n’B mixed with 1970s rare groove and funk featuring the vocals of Andrew Wood-Mitchell.

Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale

Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15.

Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Menomena Rock from the Portland-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £10.

Emily Portman, Hannah Peel Contemporary folk from the Newcastle-based singer-songwriter promoting her album The Glamoury. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £10.

Martin Carthy The folk guitarist and singer plays traditional songs from the British Isles. Downstairs

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

SALMONELLA DUB Shepherds Bush Empire, W11 8QE Shepherd’s Bush (0844 477 2000; o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk). Sep 24-25. £20 No one does dub/roots/reggae freakouts better than the Kiwis. And Kaikoura collective Salmonella Dub are will prove it with new LP Freak Controller.

Kenny Rogers The American country singer celebrates 50 years in music. Hammersmith Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £40 & £45.

Suntrap, Jason Steele The English folk band performs original material and traditional and contemporary folk. The Wilmington Arms, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4RL (0872 148 4072). £7.

TUESDAY 8

WEDNESDAY 9

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £40.

Kyle Eastwood Band, The Ronnie Scotts All Stars The double bassled band plays jazz. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £20-£37.50.

Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15.

The Hand, Alisha Sufit, Itchi Indie-folk from singer-songwriter Rachel Dadd performing as a duo with Wig Smith. The

Dangerous Heresy Alternative rock four-piece from London.

Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £5.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £6, concs £5.

Charlotte Hatherley, Chew

Corrina Greyson, Sven Hammond Soul Soul and

Lips, Stricken City The former Ash guitarist performs indie-pop and punk. Regent’s Park, Inner

funk from the London-based singer. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway,

Circle, NW1 4NR (020 7486 7905). £10.

NW1 7PG (0870 060 3777). £14.

Leona Lewis The 2006 X Factor

Robin Jones Mainstream Latin

winner and pop-soul singer promotes her album Echo.

Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.

O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £30 & £45.

Karnataka Five-piece

Eric Ranzoni Blues Band

singer-songwriter from Australia.

progressive rock outfit.

Piano-led blues outfit.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £6.

The Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). £14, adv £12.50, mems £10.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £10, adv £8.

THURSDAY 10

Ta Mere Jazz, Gipsy swing,

Band Of Horses Indie-rock

Any Swing Goes The London-

sextet from South Carolina.

based 18-piece Big Band plays swing classics. 100 Club, Oxford

The Lotus Eaters Indie-pop from the veteran Liverpoolbased group promoting its album Dying Soldiers. The

Kirsty Almeida, Kristyna Myles, John The Dancer, The Dilettants The singersongwriter performs bittersweet tunes and blues-folk.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £18.50.

St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15.

Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £12.

Crowded House Neil Finn’s Australian outfit plays pop and acoustic rock. Hammersmith

The flamboyant saxophonist and his group plays swing, blues and soul. Dover St

At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). £12.

jazz from the artist. 606 Club, Lots

Amy Vee, The Vinyl Project, Puppet Therapy, Iain Collison Down-tempo pop

The Leo Green Experience

Gang Of Four Veteran art-punk combo from London. ICA, The

The Black Atlantic, Rue Royale, Anna Kashfi

Mall, SW1Y 5AH (020 7930 3647). £55.

Mellow folk-pop from the Groningen-based band. The

Lyrix Organix Hip-hop artists, poets, MCs, singers, acoustic musicians and DJs perform to raise money for Medecins Sans Frontieres. The Old Queen’s Head,

Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £8.

Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). £5.

Negrita Pop-rock with a Latin

Madskull, The Beautiful Game, This Is Black, Vera Bohl, Black Vendetta The Glaswegian six-piece plays indie-rock. The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £5.

Damned Things New Yorkbased rock six-piece featuring members of Fall Out Boy, Every Time I Die and Anthrax. Heaven,

Gill Manly Trio The

Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £10.

Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £20-£41.50.

acclaimed jazz vocalist performs Nina Simone songs.

bluegrass, film soundtracks, Cuban, tango and blues from the 1920s to 1950s by the London-based quartet.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £6.

Bobby Wellins Scottish tenor saxophonist. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.

SUNDAY 13 606 Gospel Group Ten-piece Gospel ensemble. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £8.

Mary Gauthier The singer-songwriter and guitarist from Baton Rouge, Louisiana plays folk-rock and country. Bush Hall, Uxbridge

flavour from the Italian band promoting its album Helldorado.

The Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £20.

Demachena The trio plays African and Latin rhythms.

Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £20.

Billy Ocean The award-winning

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8.

Willie Nelson The iconic country singer-songwriter celebrates his 50-year awardwinning career. Hammersmith

vocalist performs his soulful pop hits. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq,

Gerard Edery World folk from

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £35-£55.

Calle 13 The Puerto Rican duo performs hip-hop and Latin. The Coronet, New Kent

OAR Melodic indie-rock from the Maryland-based band. Relentless Garage, Highbury

Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). £25.

Luftmentschn, Julia Johnson The German five-piece plays a hybrid of klezmer, tango and rock.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £6.

SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £15-£40.

Quaintways, The Fanclub, This Love Affair, King And Captives Indie-rock quartet from Chester. 93 Feet East, Brick Ln,

the singer-songwriter. Jewish Museum, Camden Town, Albert St, NW1 7NB (020 7284 7384). £15.

Jonah Matranga The troubadour plays indieacoustica. The Barfly, Chalk Farm

Murder By Death The Indiana-based Americana four-piece plays songs from its album Good Morning, Magpie.

Romeo Must Die, Here Lies Affliction, Morgue Orgy

The Luminaire, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (020 7372 7123). £10.

Hardcore and thrash metal from the Essex-based band.

Teenage Fanclub The

New Cross Inn, New Cross Rd, SE14 6AS (020 8692 1866). £7, NUS £5.

London-based outfit. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £10, adv £8.

Glasgow-based four-piece plays indie-pop. Shepherds Bush

The Tallest Man On Earth

Reuben Richards & Soul Train

Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0905 020 3999/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.

The Swedish singer and guitarist performs acoustic folk. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq,

Blues, funk and soul. Dover St

E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). £7, adv £5.

W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). £11.

Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £10.

Papa George, Steve Simpson

Pure Reason Revolution Left-

The London-based singer and guitarist plays blues-rock. Brook’s

field electro-rock from the

Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm.

Wire The veteran three-piece and post-punk pioneers play their hits. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £20.

tntmagazine.com

Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £14.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

Blues Bar, The Telegraph, Telegraph Rd, SW15 3TU (020 8788 2011). £10.

Chris Brown The singersongwriter from Virginia performs R’n’B. Hammersmith Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £36 & £46.

Chris Isaak The American troubadour plays melancholic country and rebel-rousing rockabilly, including his hits and songs from his album Mr Lucky.

Shepherds Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0905 020 3999/ cc 0844 477 2000). £32.50.

Stacey Kent The awardThe Penny Black Remedy, Tiny Gods Alt-country and

winning Anglo-American singer performs jazz standards.

Americana with a twist of dark humour from the London-based outfit. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Pl,

Regent’s Park, Inner Circle, NW1 4NR (020 7486 7905). £21.

WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

The Toy Hearts The Birmingham-based quintet plays bluegrass and Americana.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

TNT online For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

CLUBBING

MUSIC & CLUBS

CLUB GUIDE

32

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK KINKY MALINKI Another fine Dutch export, Sidney Samson is the man behind the track of summer 2009, Riverside, which you can still hear doing the rounds on many a TV programme montage.

Samson (right) is joined by Kinky Malinki favourite Kid Massive at this Ibiza-style terrace party in east London where you can club alfresco. If you bought a ticket for this event at Matter, where it was originally going to be held, it’s still valid.

» That Club, Boord St, SE10 0PF North Greenwich (020 8467 1700; thatlondon.info). Sat, Jun 12, 10pm-6am. £20, £15 adv beats/breaks

funk/soul

drum ’n’ bass

electro

hip-hop

JOE GODDARD

JADED

Hot Chip’s Joe Goddard is heading to lovely north London bar/club The Westbury for a good old knees-up. The master of synths will be doing a DJ set that’s packed with exclusive sounds and remixes to get your groove on.

If you’re looking for an after-party, then this is it. If you’re looking for a spot of day clubbing, then bingo, you’ve found it. Jaded plays deep house tunes to all those clubbers who want to shun sleep and keep the party going. Raymundo Rodriguez will be on the decks.

» The Westbury, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 5UA Kilburn Park (020 7625 7500; westburybar.com). Fri, Jun 11, 8pm-3am. £3 before 10pm, £5 after

» Cable, Bermondsey Street Tunnel, SE1 3JW London Bridge (020 7403 7730; cable-london.com). Sun, Jun 13, 4am-2pm. £8 adv

We have two pairs of tickets to Kinky Malinki and three copies of Defected Ibiza 2010 to give away. To enter email grabs@tntmagazine.com with ‘Kinky’ or ‘Defected’ in the subject line by noon, Wednesday, June 9.

WIN

hard house/trance

techno

Matter nightclub (right) at The O2 has closed. The club said it is dealing with financial problems due to the result of the Tube’s Jubilee line closures and will “remain closed throughout summer”. As one of the few large clubs left in the capital, let’s hope it makes a comeback.

Defected has launched an album to welcome the Ibiza season for 2010. The house label, which has a Saturday night residency at Pacha on the White Isle, has released two discs of what it believes will be the anthems for summer.

It’s packed with beats by

NOW ONL Y £5

GO TO TNTMAGAZINE.COM/LBB tntmagazine.com

rock/metal

CLUB NEWS

2-4-1 ENTRY TO THE BEST CLUBS IN LONDON

house/garage

names such as Tensnake and The Shapeshifters, and is mixed by Defected DJ, A&R man and founder Simon Dunmore. It also includes James Talk and Ridney’s track, Together, which has been touted as one of Pete Tong’s Essential New Tunes on Radio 1.

CLUB LISTINGS MONDAY 7

St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083).

9pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R’n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782).

10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Rehab DJs Val, Cheeky Pete Donaldson, Satoko, Haley and The Demonettes play indie, pop and electro. The Roxy, Rathbone Pl, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk, salsa and reggae.

Monkey Funk The residents supply club classics in the theatre, with funk, soul, ska, rock ’n’ roll and blues in the ballroom. The Bedford,

TIËSTO Victoria Park, E3 Bethnal Green (tiesto.com). Jul 30.

From £39 Last year his Victoria Park gig attracted a crowd of 25,000. This year expect more of the same. Tiësto is joined by Pendulum, Eddie Halliwell and the House Rules crew for this summer shindig.

Bedford Hill, SW12 9HD (07960 010209). 11pm-2am. £6.

Posh Funk! Resident DJs play R’n’B, hip-hop, club classics and commercial dance.

Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0870 863 1010). 9pm-3am. £12, £10 before 11pm, £8 before midnight.

Pump Up The Volume Johnno, Sophie Lloyd, Minkioni and Naomiii spin ’90s hip-hop, house and pop. Visions, Kingsland Rd, E8 4AH (020 7275 7520).

10pm-4am. £8, adv £6.

Riot Music Marcus Nasty and Tim & Barry play funk and house. Plan B, Brixton Rd,

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The

Hot Blood Tom Findlay,

Exclusivity Resident DJs Elliot

Faze Action and resident DJs play disco and house. The Big Chill House, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7427 2540). 7pm-1am. £5, free before 10pm, NUS £3.

Vodka Island Funky

Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Ness, S-Clique and Running Man spin R’n’B, 1980s classics, funky house, bashment and hip-hop.

electro, house and chart with residents. Tiger Tiger, Haymarket,

Potty Mouth Disco Nu

bachata and reggaeton.

Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

7.30pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

Festa Fiesta Latin and samba

disco, electronic funk, indie and electro from Potty Mouth DJs and Rolled Up Deejays, plus live performances from Get Shakes, Bunny Come, Lighthouses, Alicia Wolfe and Blanco. Proud Camden, The Horse

from the resident DJs, plus salsa classes before 10pm. Fiesta

Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £5.

Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028).

7pm-late. £7, concs £4.

SW1Y 4SP (020 7930 1885).

9pm-3am. £6, £5 before 10pm.

TUESDAY 8

Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins

Latin Krazy Salsa, merengue,

Swerve Drum ’n’ bass from DJs Carter, Fabio and Bailey.

salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing

Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-3am. £7, NUS £5, £5 before 11pm.

Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277).

7.30pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O,

Lost In London Party on the ground floor, electro-house in the basement and commercial R’n’B in the VIP room. Zoo Bar,

Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop. Madame JoJo’s,

Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-2.30am. £8, £5 before 10pm.

Temptation Pop, R’n’B,

Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

7.30pm-3am. £7, guestlist/NUS £5.

XXL Wednesdays House

Seduction Resident DJs play

and pop from resident DJs Joe Egg and Alex Logan.

St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

10pm-3am. £10, £7 before 10pm, guestlist free before 10pm.

garage, hip-hop and reggae.

White Heat DJs Matty, Marcus and Olly play indie, punk, techno and electro. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £6, adv £5.

WEDNESDAY 9

The Arches, Southwark St, SE1 1RU (020 7403 9643).

10pm-3am. £3, mems free.

THURSDAY 10 Candybox Mike, George and Ian spin new and old indie, electro, classic rock and soul.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7287 372). 10pm-5am. £6, w/flyer £5, £3 before 11pm.

Agita Brasil Latin and samba from the resident DJs, plus dance classes before 10pm. Fiesta Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.

Cheap$kates Disco and hip-hop courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782). 9pm3.30am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Diffrent Strokes DJs Phat Cat, Zay London, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play Neo soul, funk and R’n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950).

9pm-late. £10, £5 before 11pm.

Game On Residents spin chart, party anthems and retro hits in the basement, with R’n’B and house in the VIP room. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

9pm-3am. £7, guestlist/NUS £5.

dance and cheese with resident DJs. Zoo Bar, Bear

YoYo DJs Busy P, Sammy Bananas, Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade play dub, techno, hip-hop and electro, plus Telephoned and Ali Love perform live. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

FRIDAY 11 Bedrock DJs Little Chris

Electric Thursday House, commercial dance and chart. LVPO, Dean St, W1D 5BQ (020 7434 3399).

9pm-3am. £5.

and George spin indie and pop. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-4am. £7, £5 before midnight/w/flyer.

Flying Saucers Keb Darge, Ruby Dagger, Little Edith, Madame Frou-Frou and Swampcat Caz supply blues, rock ’n’ roll and R’n’B. The Bedroom Bar, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 5706). 8pm-1am. £5.

Frolic DJ StevieF spins party, retro pop and cheese. Crazy

The Watershed, The Broadway, SW19 1SD (020 8540 0080). 11pm3am. £8, £7 before midnight.

Larry’s, King’s Rd, SW10 0TZ (020 7376 5555). 10pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5 before midnight, guest list free before 11pm.

Get Yourself Connected Nick Tcherniak spins house and electro.

The Langley, Langley St, WC2H 9JA (020 7836 5005). 8pm-3am. £10, £5 before 9pm, free before 8pm.

Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

disco and funky house. The Langley, Langley St, WC2H 9JA (020 7836 5005). 8pm-1am. £8, £5 before 10pm, free before 9pm.

Ln, WC2B 5PG (020 7831 9399).

10pm-3am. £20, £15 guest list.

Unbranded DJs Howie and Perry play commercial dance

Popstarz Three rooms of indie, The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083).

10pm-4am. £8, free before 11pm.

The Secret Order Alexander Nut, Fatima, Faction G and residents Jimmy Piercy and Will Webster supply house, techno and dubstep. Gramaphone, Commercial St, E1 6LT (020 7377 9337).

9pm-3.30am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

SATURDAY 12 Bounce Scorcher, Versatile, JP and Kyla play R’n’B, hip-hop, funky house and club classics.

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/cc 0870 060 0100).

10pm-6am. £25, £15 before 11.30pm.

Buttoned Down Disco Indie, electro and pop from Christian Laing and Jamie. Koko, Camden

X-Side Music OSTR, DJ Haem and MC Kochan provide old school hip-hop and ’90s breaks.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774).

9pm-3am. £15, £5 after 11.30pm.

SUNDAY 13 Body Heat BBQ Party DJ Blush, Nicole Burbridge, Miss Maverick and Sophie Belluka Sparks spin deep house. The Driver, Wharfdale Rd, N1 9RY (020 7278 8827). 12noon-10pm. £15.

Groove Sanctuary AfricanLatin, disco and deep house from DJ Jimbo, Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

9.30pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Horse Meat Disco Jim

Decadence DJs Shuff and

Stanton, James Hillard, Filthy Luka and Severino spin disco.

Belle play glam rock and punk.

St Moritz, Wardour St, W1F 8WL (020 7437 0525). 10pm-3.30am. £6, w/flyer/mems £5, free before 11pm.

Techno and deep house from Peter Van Hoesen and Adam Marshall. The Rhythm Factory,

Grind A Go Go DJ Dead

The residents supply pop and disco. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-4am. £7, w/flyer free.

Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774). 10pm-6am. £10, adv £8.

Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727). 9pm-2am. £8.

plays rock ’n’ roll, R’n’B and garage. Bethnal Green Working

Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 8pm-3am. £6.

Tape Charlotte Michelle 11th, Never Trust DJs, Ziggy Kinder and Mathias Schaffhauser play deep house and techno.

Platinum, Paul St, EC2A 4JU (020 7638 4601). 9pm-6am. £10.

WetYourSelf Cormac, Lost And Found Keb Darge

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

and R’n’B. Crazy Larry’s, King’s Rd, SW10 0TZ (020 7376 5555). 10pm3am. £10, guestlist £5 before 11pm.

High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527).

9pm-3.30am. £10, free before 10pm.

Dumb Found Sound G-A-Y Porn Idol

High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006).

10pm-3am. £10, NUS/mems £8.

Bennie G, Supa Mann and Xavier Miller play R’n’B, hip-hop and funky house. Tamarai, Drury

Calentito Pop, R’n’B, and soul. Salvador And Amanda,

Shake Disco and pop from DJ John Osbourne and Paul C in the main room, while DJ Milo plays party anthems in room two. The Electric Ballroom, Camden

Studio 5 Resident DJs spin Mode PR DJs VG, Shock,

pop and R’n’B for a gay crowd.

Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.

Rumba, Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP (020 7287 2715). 10pm-3am. £5.

Daniel Scott plays club classics, while resident DJs play indie and pop in the bar.

Smash & Grab DJs Danny Boy and Don’t Run With Scissors spin retro pop, soul and disco classics, plus live music from Tribes and States Of Emotion. Proud Camden, The

Saints & Sinners

The Hill, Muswell Hill, N10 3ST (020 8365 3651). 10pm-4am. £10.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-midnight. £10, w/skate £7.50, NUS £5.

SW9 4AY (020 7733 0926). 9pm4am. £8, £5 before midnight.

and Andy Smith play blues, rock and northern soul.

Peter Pixzel and Jacob Husley play techno and electro. Fabric, Charterhouse

Madame JoJo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £8.

St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-6am. £10, NUS £5.

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC & CLUBS

Bite DJs Lydia, Ian, Marcus and Peta spin electro, indie, disco, dubstep, hip-hop and pop. The Den & Centro, West Central

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

33

news & sport

NEWS IN REVIEW

The week that was MONDAY

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY quote unquote

wrap up of last week’s events from australia, new zealand and south africa

“What a load of balderdash. What a load of absolute bunkum.” Kevin Rudd on claims a new tax will hamstring Australia’s mining industry.

34

AUSTRALIA World ‘envies’ Australia The Australian economy might have lost some momentum in the first quarter of 2010, but Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said it remained the “envy” of the developed world.

Rudd told Parliament that the economy had continued to perform better than other major markets, with an annual growth rate of 2.7 per cent.

Opera House refurb Sydney’s iconic Opera House is to receive a $130 million rescue package to fix problems that

The morning after: A safety officer cleans up the damage at a caravan park after a storm tore through the town of Lennox Head on the north coast of NSW. ‘Mini-tornadoes’ ripped off roofs, downed powerlines and overturned vehicles.

have threatened its closure.

The NSW Government was expected to announce the funding in its state budget.

The rescue package came after a report found there were risks of “multiple fatalities” because of ageing stage machinery.

Pratt escort claim

Sydney Opera House

A former mistress of late billionaire Richard Pratt claimed the entrepreneur promised to set up $2.5 million trust funds for each of her children and pay her an annual retainer of $500,000.

Madison Ashton, a Sydney escort, lodged a claim in the

NSW Supreme Court against Pratt’s $5bn estate, claiming damages for breach of contract.

Carey in court Former AFL star Wayne Carey told a court that his brother, who pleaded guilty to a drugs-related charge, was his hero.

Kevin Carey, 48, known as Dick, pleaded guilty in the Victorian County Court to one count of attempting to possess a border-controlled precursor.

The phenylpropanolamine arrived in Sydney from Johannesburg last year, hidden in multi-threaded rollers used for cricket pitches.

*And finally … Shark staying put

tntmagazine.com

to his wine and beef joint ventures to show he was a big tax contributor.

“We generate a lot of revenue out of our businesses,” the 55-year-old said.

“We do 3 million bottles of wine out of Australia, we do 90,000kg of beef and we’ve got five golf courses under construction here.”

“The people who put their names and company names on the emails are stupid. Anyone who gets off on these emails … it’s really distasteful.” AFL chief Andrew Demetriou slams a viral email naming a teenage girl who fell pregnant to a St Kilda player.

“My priority is being out on the road – being in the studio made up like a dizzy bloody blonde is not my way – I would prefer to be on the road.” Veteran TV presenter Mike Munro on reports of a rift between him and Channel Nine coanchor Chris Bath.

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Perth Greg Norman

Sydney

Getty Images, Australian Tourist Commission

Golfer and businessman Greg Norman insisted he was not abandoning Australia, despite closing his only office Down Under.

At the launch of the 2010 Australian Open tournament, Norman, who is the nation’s richest sportsman, was visibly annoyed when asked about his commitment. He pointed

“Once again, Phoney Tony has shown that you just can’t trust a thing he says.”

Peter Garrett reacts to Tony Abbott’s backflip on taking Japan to court over whaling.

Journalist tasered

TASMANIA Tougher antismoking laws could be on the way, with a state government report proposing bans on smoking in and around playgrounds, in all pedestrian malls and covered bus shelters, as well as in public alfresco dining areas.

A journalist on a peace flotilla was allegedly tasered by Israeli commandos

was organiser Huwaida Arraf, a dual US/Israeli citizen, who said she was on board the USflagged vessel with Geraghty and McGeough, who work for the Sydney Morning Herald.

“They were on Challenger 1 with me and I know that Kate was tasered and was not feeling well,” Arraf told ABC Radio.

Sydney Morning Herald editor

Peter Fray said he was deeply disturbed that Geraghty had been injured.

“We have been alarmed to learn today that Herald photographer Kate Geraghty appears to have been injured by an unidentified weapon – possibly a type of stun gun – during the Israeli raid on the Gaza flotilla,” Fray said in a statement.

Getty Images

New tourism ad criticised

Andrew McEvoy

IN ASSOCIATION WITH

Tourism Australia’s latest campaign, featuring the slogan, “There’s nothing like Australia”, has already proven a beacon for criticism.

The advert, featuring Australians singing slightly off-key at tourism destinations around the nation, was quickly labelled as “bogan” in online forums following its launch.

In the ad, which is part of a $150 million campaign, Australians list all the things in the country that there is nothing like: “sunset from a camel, this billabong, this duck-billed mammal”. ‘’There’s nothing like this

bear’’, sings a woman holding a koala. And, ‘’There’s nothing like the people here, where everyone’s your mate,’’ sing drinkers in a pub.

The advert is reminiscent of the way Australia was promoted in the 1980s, when Paul Hogan invited the world to “throw another shrimp on the barbie”.

“Our industry partners from around the world told us to show the icons, show the animals, and make it fun and friendly,” Tourism Australia chief executive Andrew McEvoy said about the global campaign.

WORLD CUP @

VICTORIA A Melbourne priest, the subject of a “mishandled” internal Catholic Church enquiry, was charged with sexual assault. Father Victor Farrugia was charged on summons with eight counts of indecent assault.

NEW SOUTH WALES Police seized 47,000 ecstasy pills valued at $1.4 million, $30,000 worth of the drug ice, $70,000 in cash and a pistol during raids in the southwest of Sydney.

Four men, believed to be members of a Sydney-toQueensland drug trafficking syndicate, were arrested.

QUEENSLAND Tricia Brown, the 31-year-old Women’s Rugby Union Player of the Year in 2009 who courted young girls into lesbian relationships while working as a physical education teacher, would be allowed to remain on the state and national rugby squads, but was banned from interacting with teen or child players.

ENFRE TR E Y

SCREENINGS tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010/screenings

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ Israeli commandos storm ships delivering aid to Gaza, leading to nine deaths ■ Aussie photographer Kate Geraghty and journalist Paul McGeough were on board ■ Geraghty was allegedly tasered and then detained by the Israeli military

A

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

n Australian photographer said she was tasered after Israeli commandos stormed an aid ship on its way to Gaza.

Fairfax photographer Kate Geraghty was on board the Challenger 1 with journalist Paul McGeough to cover the attempt by a flotilla of aid ships to run the blockade of Gaza.

At least nine people were killed during the incident, with others injured and more than 100 detained, including the Fairfax pair.

One of the first people to be released by Israeli troops

AUSTRALIA

35

NEW ZEALAND

The week that was

news & sport

MONDAY

36

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY

Auckland protests Hundreds of protesters hurled shoes at the US consulate in Auckland, calling for sanctions against the Israeli government after violent clashes between its armed forces and Gaza-bound humanitarian aid workers.

One of the activists on board an aid ship was New Zealander Nicola Enchmarch who said she saw a man shot in the head by Israeli commandos. She was among hundreds of activists detained in the raid, nine of whom were killed.

Enchmarch said the Israeli forces on the ship were menacing and aggressive.

“There was a lot of noise, a lot of chaos, a lot of gunfire.”

Enchmarch was eventually deported and sent to Turkey.

Laws won’t run Controversial Wanganui mayor Michael Laws decided he would not run again for the mayoralty of the city.

Despite being ahead in polls, Laws said he wanted to spend more time with his family.

As mayor he had relentlessly

Michael Laws

“I’m really alive. Did the internet get it wrong again?” Tom Cruise reassures everyone he didn’t die at Kauri Cliffs in Northland.

Pro democracy: Burmese refugees protest about the state of freedom in Burma on the steps of Parliament in Wellington. Later, Parliament unanimously passed a motion to call upon the military rulers of Burma to reinstate the democratic rights of Aung San Suu Kyi, leader of the former National League for Democracy in Burma.

campaigned against gangs, resulting in illegal gang patches in Wanganui.

to lower the drinking age from 20 to 18, and in 2006, a majority favoured keeping it at 18.

Drinking age too low?

Robber gets 20 years

A TV One Colmar Brunton poll found 74 per cent of Kiwis want the drinking age raised, while 24 per cent said it should stay at 18.

Other recent polls also showed a strong majority in favour of raising the age limit.

The Law Commission, which last month issued its report on liquor laws, recommended raising the age limit and made a raft of other proposals, which the Government was considering.

Parliament voted 11 years ago

A serial home invader who murdered an elderly Chinese woman in a “callous and brutal” robbery will serve at least 20 years in jail.

Olinale Ah You, 30, was found guilty of the murder of 80-year-old Yan Ping Yang in April this year.

Yang survived the brutal attack long enough to tell the police how she had been beaten

by Ah You in 2008.

Ah You was also responsible for five other violent robberies.

*And finally … hit and run

tntmagazine.com

vehicle to check his wife was all right. The offender drove off and it appears he and his male passenger went to a liquor store to purchase more alcohol.”

The driver later turned off a road to avoid police heading to the original accident scene, and drove straight into a power-pole.

He was held in custody while he sobered up.

“If we were to take out everyone who made a mistake and shoot them, sooner or later we’d run out of people to do things in this country.” World Cup minister Murray McCully accepts Andy Haden’s apology for saying the Crusaders had a “darkie” policy for Pacific Island players.

“Some people are sending a real warning to criminals that they ‘will take them on’, and come out fighting just as hard.”

Christchurch police inspector Malcolm Johnston, after a dairy owner attacked a gun-wielding robber.

“He had a backpack with some Tupperware containers, so when people weren’t looking, he was stocking up.”

Wellington funeral director Danny Langstraat on a fake mourner doing the rounds at local funerals.

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A Hamilton man allegedly crashed into an elderly couple’s car and then fled the scene to buy alcohol.

The 32-year-old man then crashed a second time when he saw police cars racing to respond to the earlier smash.

Waikato Road policing manager Leo Tooman said: “The victim collapsed as he got out of his

quote unquote “The house is gone, there is nothing left.”

Controversial blogger Cameron Slater, who breaks suppression orders and insults people online, lost his house after insurance payments for his depression stopped.

Kiwi avoids killer

UPPER NORTH ISLAND

A

Crime scene: Duke Street in Whitehaven, Cumbria

and 25 injured, some critically.

Reynolds told the Dominion Post: “We got word that there had been a gunman who had shot people at about 10.30am.

“We were pulling people off the street saying, ‘Come into the pub, it’s not safe.’ They had no idea. From the pub, the road he would have driven up is 100m away.”

New Zealand Police Association president Greg

O’Connor was in Manchester with British police when news of the shooting came through.

“I’m over here looking at the UK firearms response and capability,” said O’Connor.

He added that the massacre had highlighted the need for New Zealand police to have good arms training and ready access to guns. “It shows that this can happen anywhere any time, especially in rural areas.”

TNT Images, Getty Images

‘It’s the wrong sandwich, Target’

Hundreds of residents were left homeless by flood waters, which swept through the Bay of Plenty.

More than 100 houses were damaged as heavy rain lashed down, mainly in Whakatane and Ohope.

Affected residents were put in temporary housing.

LOWER NORTH ISLAND About 40 people will lose their jobs at Trentham Army Camp in Upper Hutt this month, due to US defence giant Lockheed Martin starting a $144m contract in the area.

UPPER SOUTH ISLAND A Christchurch dog that died defending its home will be considered for a bravery award by the SPCA. Boxer Troy was strangled as he protected Tyler Corbett-Gaber, 13, from an intruder in his Christchurch home. The SPCA’s bronze medal for bravery can be awarded to humans or animals.

LOWER SOUTH ISLAND A chicken sandwich gets Target in hot water

largest handed down by the authority.

Café owner Rod Williams told Stuff.co.nz it had been stressful. “We had people walking past the café saying, ‘That’s that dirty place from

the TV’. It wasn’t very nice for the staff. It was pretty horrible.”

Laurie Clarke, executive producer of Top Shelf Productions, said Target had apologised and added: “We’ll wear it on the chin.”

Two Dunedin policemen have been found guilty of assault.

Duncan Hollebon and Brenton Rooney were accused of kicking a man in the head and body while he was being restrained by other officers last year.

They will be sentenced on July 24.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ Kiwi woman Kristen Reynolds hides as crazed taxi driver goes on rampage ■ Derek Bird kills 13 people, including himself, and injures another 25 ■ Reynolds alerted people of the danger as the gunman came closer

The makers of TV show Target have been ordered to pay $38,000 after screening an “inaccurate” and “unfair” hidden camera trial.

The Broadcasting Standards Authority found that the show breached fairness and accuracy when it stated that a chicken sandwich from Café Cézanne in Ponsonby had tested positive for faecal coliforms that “could make you very sick”.

The sample had been incorrectly labelled and it was later discovered that it did not come from Café Cézanne.

The $38,000 fine is one of the

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

Kiwi woman huddled in a British pub as taxi driver Derek Bird’s shooting rampage took place within 100m of her.

Kristen Reynolds, 22, of Te Kuiti, also helped to pull people out of Bird’s path in Cumbria last Wednesday.

Bird, 52, shot dead his twin brother and at least one colleague before driving through the area, firing randomly at people before killing himself.

The slaughter near the Lake District left 13 people dead

NEW ZEALAND

37

SOUTH AFRICA

The week that was

news & sport

MONDAY

38

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY

Strike costs millions Damage to facilities during last month’s strike by Transnet workers was estimated at R60 million, acting Transnet CEO Chris Wells said.

The South African Transport and Allied Workers’ Union recently accepted a new wage offer by the Passenger Rail Agency of South Africa, ending a 15-day strike across the country.

The strike was marred by several incidents in which trains were burned or derailed, allegedly by protesters.

Shaka statue down A statue of King Shaka was to be removed from the new airport bearing his name because it reportedly made the Zulu king look more like a herdsman than a warrior.

The Mercury newspaper reported that KwaZulu-Natal premier Zweli Mkhize had met with reigning Zulu King Goodwill Zwelethini, who said

“I cannot underplay the pain I am in right now.” Cope parliamentary leader Mvume Dandala on reports that he was resigning from his post due to party infighting. blow it, boys: Pre-school children are struck by football fever during the South African leg of the official World Cup Trophy Tour. The solid gold trophy has taken in 86 countries in 225 days, allowing thousands of fans around the globe to see it first-hand.

the statue should be moved.

Mkhize said some people had difficulty with the image of an unarmed Shaka. “We will get teams to remodel the current statue. Whether it will have a spear and a shield or not, that will be decided at the end of the process,” he told The Mercury.

Israel releases journo

The King Shaka statue

Cape Town radio journalist Gadijah Davids was released by Israeli authorities after she was detained for being part of a convoy that tried to break through the Gaza blockade, her mother said.

“We spoke to her last night.

She was just telling us she is on

her way home,” she added.

At least nine civilians died in violent clashes on the ship that Davids was on.

Lion kills SA woman A male lion killed a South African volunteer at the Chipangali Wildlife Orphanage in Zimbabwe.

The lion attacked and killed conservationist Robyn Lotz after the gate of its pen was inadvertently left open.

Sanctuary head Kevin Wilson shot and killed the lion as Lotz struggled to free herself. Lotz, 26, died at a hospital in nearby Bulawayo shortly afterwards.

“We have gone completely poison free. This is the only stadium with a programme like this in place as a pest deterrent.” Nelson Bay Stadium manager Rob Hichens on using birds of prey to chase out rogue pigeons and rats, instead of poison.

“My congregation is arranging a soccer Sunday, where members of the congregation must wear soccer T-shirts to church. What happened to the sanctity of the temple?” A Beeld reader, called ‘Sies’, who sent a text message to the Afrikaans newspaper.

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Backpagepix, Getty Images

cheer them on: The South African national women’s football team, Banyana Banyana, show their full support for their male counterparts, Bafana Bafana ahead of the 2010 Fifa World Cup, which kicks off this week.

tntmagazine.com

quote unquote “A squirrel moves very fast. Like Wayne Rooney. To be like him, you need to use this oil.” Traditional healer Thabang Khubeka on one of his potions, which contains squirrel fat.

He claims it will help World Cup players.

India ties bolstered

WESTERN CAPE Thirty two people appeared in court after a protest in Khayelitsha. The residents were opposing the City of Cape Town’s decision to remove 65 toilets in the Makhaza settlement.

S

FREE STATE

President Jacob Zuma and first lady Nompumelelo Ntuli Zuma in India

by 200 business delegates.

Zuma also met with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in Delhi.

He said the two leaders had held fruitful discussions on a host of “critical strategic issues”. As well as boosting trade, the talks covered reform of the UN Security Council,

closer co-operation on climate change and the global economy.

Together with Brazil, India and South Africa have formed an informal grouping of emerging market nations, pushing for a stronger voice in international institutions, such as the International Monetary Fund and the United Nations.

Getty Images

Concerns over World Cup

IN ASSOCIATION WITH

of the best values we carry as a human family,” she said.

Robinson was concerned about small street vendors being pushed aside during the tournament, which starts on Friday. Vendors and their advocates have complained that Fifa’s restriction on activity near stadiums make it difficult for hawkers to make a living.

The elders also addressed crises in Zimbabwe and Israel.

Carter described Zimbabwe as “a tragedy waiting to be solved”, while the group strongly condemned the Israeli commando attack on an aid ship heading for Gaza.

The Philip Sanders resort outside Bloemfontein remained in a state of disrepair despite R150 million allocated for refurbishment by the provincial government. In February, the department of tourism indicated the revamp was on track and would be finished before the World Cup.

EASTERN CAPE Nelson Mandela Bay municipality said it intends to distribute 2.4 million condoms in Port Elizabeth and surrounding towns ahead of the World Cup for “ultimate safety”. The Eastern Cape has one of the highest HIV infection rates in South Africa, with one in four women at antenatal clinics testing positive.

KWAZULUNATAL

Nelson Mandela with Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter

WORLD CUP @

School pupils have been enlisted to fight tuberculosis in a new campaign launched by health minister Aaron Motsoaledi at Durban’s Greenbury Primary School.

The Kick TB campaign was being implemented at more than 300 schools in the area.

ENFRE TR E Y

SCREENINGS tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010/screenings

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ President Jacob Zuma visits India on his first state trip to Asia ■ The aim of the trip is to boost trade and investment ties between the two nations ■ Zuma meets with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

A group of international statesmen and women brought together by Nelson Mandela expressed excitement but also some concerns at the prospect of the first World Cup to be held in Africa.

‘The elders’ included Nobel Peace Prize winners Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter, the first woman president of Ireland, Mary Robinson and Mandela’s wife, Graca Machel.

Machel, a human rights campaigner, said the World Cup was an opportunity for Africa to be seen in a positive light.

“Sports can express some

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

outh African President Jacob Zuma visited India on his first state trip to Asia since he took office in May last year.

“The visit provides an opportunity to strengthen the strong bilateral relationship that both countries share while addressing and promoting the importance of trade, industrialisation, agricultural development, transport development, communication and international affairs,” Zuma said.

The South African president was reportedly accompanied

SOUTH AFRICA

39

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@ wimbledon

WORLD CUP FRIDAY 11 JUNE

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Sporting week MONDAY

RUGBY UNION Former Wallabies hooker Brendan Cannon predicts the Melbourne Rebels will struggle when they join the Super 15 next year because of their inability to sign elite players.

TUESDAY

AFL Rugby league star Israel Folau is announced as the first signing, on a lucrative four-year deal, for the AFL’s western Sydney side, which will join the league in 2011.

WEDNESDAY

RUGBY UNION Wallabies captain Rocky Elsom ends months of speculation by staying with the ACT Brumbies.

Elsom’s contract included a get-out clause but the flanker has chosen not to exercise it.

THURSDAY

AFL Former North Melbourne skipper Wayne Carey is inducted into the AFL. Carey, 39, has been eligible for two years but has missed out due to his off-field indiscretions.

FRIDAY

FOOTBALL Sydney FC will host Blackburn Rovers, Glasgow Rangers and AEK Athens in July for a fourteam competition modelled on pre-season events held across Europe.

SATURDAY

RUGBY UNION Sonny Bill Williams is reportedly set to reject a new deal with Toulon, worth $6 million over three years, and return to New Zealand to chase his dream of winning All Black selection.

SUNDAY

ON BOX THE

MONDAY TENNIS Queen’s The warm-up for Wimbledon 12.30pm BBC Red Button

ON THE

BOX

TUESDAY CRICKET England v Bangladesh Will the Test last five days?

10.30am Sky Sports 1

ON THE

BOX

WEDNESDAY BASKETBALL Boston Celtics v LA Lakers Game three of the finals 1.30am ESPN

BOX

ON THE

CRICKET Australia announce a 14-man ODI squad for their winter tour to England, with 25-year-old keeper-batsman Tim Paine filling in for Brad Haddin, who is sidelined with tennis elbow.

If I stayed in “ rugby league …

I would have been paid well so money wasn’t the end factor

”

Israel Folau, after reportedly pocketing more than $4 million to join the AFL

THURSDAY ATHLETICS Diamond League All the action from Rome 7pm BBC Red Button FRIDAY FOOTBALL South Africa v Mexico The World Cup begins 2.30pm ITV1

SATURDAY RUGBY UNION Australia v England The Poms aren’t much chop 10.30am Sky Sports 1 SUNDAY FOOTBALL Australia v Germany Zee Germans are going down 7pm ITV1

PUB TALK: BRITISH SPORT EXPLAINED

Getty Images

The Poms at the World Cup So, what are their chances?

They should cruise through to the quarter-finals where, if all goes according to plan, they’ll meet France or Mexico. So they could make it to the semis, where Brazil will likely be waiting. And that will be curtains.

What will be the talking points?

A lot of faith has been invested in manager Fabio Capello (right),

so his tactics will be watched closely.

How will they cope with the late withdrawal of Rio Ferdinand?

Will Capello pair Steven Gerrard with Frank Lampard in midfield?

The other question for England is whether they can create other goalscoring options in attack to take the pressure off striker Wayne Rooney.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

Tom Sturrock picks his winners and losers

41

RUGBY South Africa winger Gio Aplon in traffic

We were “ a bit scratchy

NEWS & SPORT

early on. We couldn’t hold onto the ball.

The pleasing thing is they didn’t cross our line

42

”

Wallabies skipper Rocky Elsom on his side’s scratchy display

THE PLAYER

Ruan Pienaar

Saffas deny Wales Wales 31 J Hook T Prydie A Jones tries S Jones 3 pens 2 cons J Hook drop goal

v

34 South Africa J de Jongh D Potgieter O Ndungana tries R Pienaar 4 pens 2 cons F Steyn pen

South Africa overcame a late onslaught to beat Wales 34-31 in a seesawing affair in Cardiff on Saturday. The Boks led 31-19 with 20 minutes remaining, but the Welsh came steaming back, late tries by Tom Prydie and Alun-Wyn Jones narrowing the margin to three points before the world champion Boks held on.

Wales raced to an early 13-point lead after two penalties by Stephen Jones and a converted try by James Hook, who also dropped a goal.

Hook intercepted a risky long-range pass by South Africa hooker and captain John Smit to burst clear and score the try, which Jones converted. That opened up the 13-point lead

with just 22 minutes gone but the South Africans, despite missing several front-line Bulls and Stormers players, hit back to trim that advantage to two by half-time.

South Africa pulled ahead early in the second half when Dewald Potgieter took Danie Rossouw’s short pass to burst through a gap for his first Test try, which Ruan Pienaar converted. Jones and Frans Steyn then traded penalties before Juan de Jongh capitalised on a turnover in the Wales half to cross, and Pienaar again delivered, to make it 31-19.

Wales’ late charge was fierce, but they were unable to take advantage of late possession in the Springboks’ half. They had their chances, but South Africa proved tough enough to soak up the pressure and notch an impressive win.

SOUTH AFRICA Where do these Saffas learn how to kick?

Frans Steyn may be famed for dobbing penalties from everywhere but, against Wales, it was Pienaar who was on fire with the boot. Between the two of them, the Boks can basically score from any spot in their attacking half. And woe betide any side that coughs up too many penalties.

ON THE BOX SATURDAY 8am Sky Sports 1 NEW ZEALAND V IRELAND

SATURDAY 10.30am Sky Sports 1 AUSTRALIA V ENGLAND

SATURDAY 1pm Sky Sports 1 SOUTH AFRICA V FRANCE

Wallabies win but plenty still to work on Australia 49 K Beale 2 D Ioane 2 R Brown Q Cooper D Mitchell tries M Giteau 6 Q Cooper cons

v

3 Fiji T Rawaqa pen

tntmagazine.com

Quade Cooper

Getty Images

Australia blew out the cobwebs to thump Fiji in their season-opening Test at Canberra Stadium.

With no Will Genia in a reshuffled backline and a pack featuring three rookie front-rowers, the Wallabies struggled to gel but still had too much class for the Pacific Islanders, running in seven unanswered tries.

In a phsyical encounter, Australia had a 14-3 lead at half-time and were quick to snuff out any hopes of a Fiji second-half fightback, with

Quade Cooper crossing in the 43rd minute and then the straight-running Digby Ioane following suit eight minutes later.

The scoreline blew out late when Cooper put replacement winger Drew Mitchell over in the 63rd minute and then Ioane and Kurtley Beale completed braces, with Matt Giteau slotting both conversions.

Coach Robbie Deans will be hoping the victory hasn’t come at a price, with utility back Adam Ashley-Cooper limping from the field with an ankle injury and prop Ben Alexander departing soon after on a medicab.

ROUND 13

NRL

It would “ be a massive

NEWS & SPORT

blow – he’s one of the greatest athletes the game has ever seen

”

43

Storm halfback Brett Finch on rumours that teammate Greg Inglis has met with an AFL club

THE PLAYER

Trent Barrett SHARKS A decade after winning the Dally M, the 32year-old pivot is enjoying a remarkable Indian summer. Barrett bolstered his chances of an Origin recall for NSW with a strong display against the Roosters and finished off his handy all-round performance by scoring a late celebratory try.

The Tigers’ Chris Lawrence takes on the Bulldogs defence

Tigers graft win Bulldogs 12 J Morris A Ryan tries B Goodwin 2 goals

Team Dragons Panthers Sea Eagles Tigers Titans Rabbitohs Broncos Eels Roosters Raiders Warriors Knights Sharks Bulldogs Cowboys Storm*

P 13 12 12 12 12 11 12 12 12 11 12 12 12 12 11 12

W 10 8 7 7 7 6 6 6 6 5 5 4 4 3 3 8

L 3 4 5 5 5 5 6 6 6 6 7 8 8 9 8 4

PD PTS 148 20 85 18 59 16 19 16 -18 16 73 14 7 14 -11 14 -43 14 -57 14 -63 12 -63 10 -111 10 -30 8 -66 8 71 0

* Storm unable to earn any points for the rest of the season as punishment for salary cap breaches

Eels 24

Getty Images

Rabbitohs v Cowboys

Round 14 games

Titans v Sea Eagles, Cowboys v Raiders, Knights v Warriors, Broncos v Rabbitohs

S Dwyer R Farah B Marshall tries B Marshall 3 goals R Lui field goal

v

10 Storm G Inglis B Slater tries C Smith goal

Parramatta superstar Jarryd Hayne is in danger of missing State of Origin II after being put on report for headbutting in the Eels’ win over Melbourne in a grand final rematch. The Storm jumped out to a 6-0 lead when Billy Slater crossed, but it was all the Eels thereafter.

Roosters 18 T Carney P Graham S Kenny-Dowall tries T Carney 3 goals

v

42 Sharks T Barrett P Gallen N Gardner G Millington J Morris T Tautai S Va Ve tries N Gardner 7 goals

An incredible solo try from Nathan Gardner capped a breathtaking Sharks performance.

Rookie fullback Gardner, playing in only his fourth game, caught a bomb near his own line but then zipped down the left-hand touchline before veering across field to touch down.

Raiders 28 T Campese J Thompson J Dugan T Thurling D Vidot tries T Campese 4 goals

Monday night game

19 Tigers

A late four-pointer from the Tigers’ big secondrower Simon Dwyer sealed a third successive win and inflicted the Bulldogs’ fifth loss in a row. More than 78mm of rain in 24 hours drenched the playing surface and both sides found the conditions difficult, with the ball

J Reddy 2 K Keating K Inu tries L Burt 4 goals

THE TABLE

v

v

24 Titans A Laffranchi M Minichiello S Prince J Tomane tries S Prince 4 goals

The Raiders appeared headed for a comfortable victory after Daniel Vidot scored just after halftime to give the home side a 26-6 lead, but their trend of second-half fadeouts continued and they were forced to withstand a fast-finishing Gold Coast to hang on for a nail-biting win.

handling like a bar of soap during the first half.

The Tigers dominated possession after the break, and should have pulled clear, but Benji Marshall missed an easy penalty in front of the posts. The Bulldogs, though, failed to punish the Tigers, and Robbie Farah took advantage of a quick play-the-ball to barge over from dummy-half before Robert Lui’s field goal gave Tim Sheens’ side a priceless one-point lead.

Panthers 28 B Tighe 2 G Cooper M Jennings L Coote tries M Gordon 4 goals

v

10 Knights J McManus A Uate tries K Gidley goal

Penrith pair Brad Tighe and Luke Walsh came back to haunt former club Newcastle as the Panthers returned to their winning ways at CUA Stadium. Winger Tighe scored two tries and halfback Walsh tormented the Knights with his incisive short kicking game.

Warriors 20 J Maloney S Mannering I John tries J Maloney 4 goals

v

22 Dragons M Cooper 2 J Nightingale J Soward tries J Soward 3 goals

A weary St George-Illawarra will go into the weekend’s bye glad for the break after seeing off the Warriors at Mt Smart Stadium. Centre Matt Cooper was key for the Dragons, scoring twice to bring his tally to 99 for the club, one behind all-time leader Nathan Blacklock.

Sea Eagles 6 T Williams try S Rodney goal

v

22 Broncos I Folau 2 J Hoffman B Hunt tries C Parker 3 goals

The Broncos conceded a try after just two minutes but code-crosser Israel Folau got the Broncos going when he leapt high over a flatfooted Ben Farrar and then surged to the line.

From there, the Broncos controlled the match and Folau completed his brace late in the day.

tntmagazine.com

ROUND 11

AFL

Crows midfielder Simon Goodwin sends the ball forward

I think it “ is a slap in

NEWS & SPORT

the face for players who played the game for a long time

”

44

Lions full-forward Brendan Fevola isn’t happy about the money being thrown at NRL converts

THE PLAYER

Crows upset Dockers Crows 16.9.105 T Walker 4 P Dangerfield 2 S Thompson 2 T Edwards 2 A McLeod G Johncock J Petrenko J Porplyzia K Tippett S Goodwin

v

12.10.82 Dockers M Barlow 3 M Pavlich 3 S Hill 2 A Sandilands C Mayne J van Berlo N Fyfe

Adelaide provided their home fans with a rare highlight in what has been an otherwise trying season, upsetting the in-form Dockers to notch their third win for the year.

The Crows booted six goals to the Dockers’ five in the opening term, and then extended Tigers 8.11.59 J Riewoldt 6 A Collins 2

v

14.13.97 Saints S Milne 5 J Koschitzke 2 B Peake 2 L Montagna 2 A McQualter A Schneider R Stanley

The Saints booted the first seven goals of the match to set up a 44-point lead during the second quarter, and ultimately cantered to a comfortable win. But the Tigers managed to mount some fleeting resistance, battling back to within 12 points in the third term.

Roos 12.18.90 A Swallow 2 L Hansen 2 L Thomas 2 B Cunnington B Harvey E Lower H McIntosh L Greenwood S Wright

v

13.11.89 Lions B Fevola 5 J Brown 3 A Buchanan 2 D Rich J Brennan M Clark

The Roos led by 44 points early in the third term before the Lions, sparked by Brendan Fevola, launched a remarkable comeback that saw them hit the front late in the final quarter.

But the Roos rallied, and Levi Greenwood’s goal, with a minute to play, saw them home.

Swans 12.17.89 G Rohan 3 J White 3 A Goodes 2 P Bevan 2 J McVeigh N Smith

v

Blues 15.11.101 R Houlihan 4 J Waite 3 B Thornton 2 E Betts 2 A Carrazzo C Judd K Simpson M Robinson

v

9.6.60 Demons B Green 3 B Moloney C Sylvia J Watts M Bate N Jetta N Jones

Carlton edged closer to playing finals with a routine victory over a Demons side that, apart from a brief flurry in the third term, never threatened. Centre-half forward Jarrad Waite was the Blues’ best, but he’ll be forced to sweat after being reported for charging.

Eagles 14.14.98 B McKinley 3 J Kennedy 3 M LeCras 2 N Naitanui 2 D Cox A Embley B Dalziell B Ebert

v

18.14.122 Cats S Byrnes 4 S Johnson 3 G Ablett 2 D Wojcinski 2 A Mackie C Enright J Podsiadly J Selwood M Stokes T Hunt T Varcoe

West Coast led by six points early in the third term and wree still in touch midway through the last. But the Cats booted the last three goals of the match to pull away and stay one game clear at the top of the ladder. Geelong’s hardnut utility Paul Chapman was best afield.

12.8.80 Bombers

Hawks 10.14.74

L Jetta 3 S Gumbleton 2 A Davey 2 B Howlett D Zaharakis M McVeigh S Lonergan A Welsh

B Whitecross 2 M Osborne 2 R Ladson 2 C Rioli C Young J Roughead L Hodge

v

8.15.63 Power B Ebert 2 J Davenport 2 T Logan D Stewart M Thomas S Salopek

Hawthorn moved back into the top eight after outlasting Port Adelaide in slippery conditions.

The Hawks led by 26 points during the second quarter but Port came back to level the scores in the final term, before the Hawks kicked the last two goals of the match to claim the points.

CROWS In his 321st and final game, the 33-year-old finished with 32 touches and two goals. Edwards played in the Crows’ 1997 and 1998 premiership sides and, for much of the past decade, has been one of the league’s most underrated midfielders.

THE LADDER Team Cats Saints Dockers Magpies Blues Bulldogs Swans Hawks Bombers Lions Power Roos Demons Eagles Crows Tigers

P 11 11 11 10 11 10 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11

W L 9 2 8 3 8 3 7 3 7 4 6 4 6 5 5 6 5 6 5 6 5 6 5 6 4 7 3 8 3 8 1 10

D 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

% 153 125 122 130 116 123 107 97 95 94 85 76 91 84 80 62

PTS 36 32 32 28 28 24 24 20 20 20 20 20 16 12 12 4

Sunday night game Magpies v Bulldogs

ON THE BOX FRIDAY 10.30am ESPN ROOS V BLUES

SATURDAY 10am ESPN BOMBERS V CATS

Other Round 12 games Hawks v Crows, Power v Swans, Tigers v Eagles, Bulldogs v Lions, Dockers v Saints, Demons v Magpies

Getty Images

The lead changed 16 times throughout the match and the final margin was the biggest gap between the two sides all day, but when the siren sounded, the Swans had their noses in front. In a tense final quarter, late goals to Paul Bevan and Adam Goodes proved decisive.

tntmagazine.com

that lead out to 23 points at the main break.

Fremantle hit back in the third term, and when Michael Barlow goalled early in the last quarter the Dockers were back within a goal and looked likely to overrun the flagging Crows. But the hosts held firm, with goals to Taylor Walker, Patrick Dangerfield and Jason Porplyzia getting them over the line. Adelaide midfielder Scott Thompson was best afield.

Tyson Edwards

STATE OF ORIGIN 2 WED JUNE 16TH @ 11AM, REPLAY @ 7.30PM

NEW SOUTH WALES V QUEENSLAND

FOOTBALL WORLD CUP STARTS FRIDAY 11TH JUNE WITH SOUTH AFRICA V MEXICO @ 3PM

EVERY GAME @ EVERY WALKIE CHECK BELOW FOR YOUR TEAM 12 JUN 13 JUN 15 JUN 18 JUN 19 JUN 20 JUN 22 JUN 23 JUN 23 JUN 24 JUN

19:30 19:30 12:30 19:30 15:00 15:00 15:00 15:00 19:30 15:00

ENGLAND V USA GERMANY V AUSTRALIA NEW ZEALAND V SLOVAKIA ENGLAND V ALGERIA GHANA V AUSTRALIA ITALY V NEW ZEALAND FRANCE V SOUTH AFRICA SLOVENIA V ENGLAND AUSTRALIA V SERBIA PARAGUAY V NEW ZEALAND

RUGBY UNION FROM DOWNUNDER SATURDAY 12TH JUNE:

8.30AM ALL BLACKS V IRELAND 11AM WALLABIES V ENGLAND 1PM FRANCE V SOUTH AFRICA

SHEPHERDS BUSH 56 Shepherds Bush Green, W12 8QE 020 8740 4339

FINCHLEY ROAD O2 Centre, 255 Finchley Road NW3 6LU 020 7433 6570

TEMPLE Temple Station, Temple Place & Victoria Embankment WC2 R2PH 020 7395 3690

COVENT GARDEN 11 Henrietta St, Covent Garden WC2 E8PS 020 7379 5555

WIMBLEDON 74 - 78 The Broadway, Wimbledon SW19 1RQ 020 8543 8624

CLAPHAM JUNCTION 49 Lavender Gardens, Clapham Junction SW11 1DJ 0207 228 3744

world cup Around the NEWS & SPORT

grounds

46

bafana beat danes South Africa beat Denmark 1-0 in their final warm-up match. The victory over the Danes is sure to boost the hosts’ morale ahead of their tournament-opening match against Mexico.

Reneilwe Letsholonyane was man of the match, controlling the midfield, and Katlego Mphela scored the winning goal.

mccarthy dumped South African coach Carlos Alberto Parreira sprung a major surprise by leaving striker Benni McCarthy out of his World Cup squad.

McCarthy, 32, is one of the few South African players with Premier League experience, but he was deemed too overweight to be selected.

brown hopeful Injured All White Tim Brown remains hopeful of featuring in New Zealand’s World Cup campaign. Brown is recuperating from an operation to repair a fractured shoulder suffered against Australia last month, but remains upbeat about his chances of rejoining the team for their opening match against Slovakia.

ghana confident

tntmagazine.com

Australia’s Josh Kennedy hits a flying header

Australia went down 3-1 to the USA in a free-flowing encounter played in good spirits, with Socceroos sharpshooter Tim Cahill scoring a trademark goal to spoil the clean sheet of his Everton teammate Tim Howard, who was in goals for the Americans.

In the 19th minute, Cahill latched on to a corner kick from Luke Wilkshire. Cahill escaped unmarked and then, as he has so many times in the Premier League, booted home from close range.

Cahill’s goal levelled the scores after Edson Bundle scored in the fourth minute with a raking shot from just inside the box. Unfortunately for Australia, Bundle put his team ahead again in the 31st minute with a header.

Then, in the dying minutes of the second half, Herculez Gomez extended the USA’s

lead with a third goal.

Preparing to face Germany on Sunday, Socceroos coach Pim Verbeek said the game offered some positives for his team but that Australia gave the ball away too easily.

“The organisation was not good, the first goal was a present,” Verbeek said.

“I think we need to keep the ball better as a team.”

emerton eyes poms Should Australia finish second in their group, and England first in theirs, the nations would clash in the second stage. “They’re still a bit upset about when we won 3-1 a few years ago,” Socceroos midfielder Brett Emerton said. “The Aussie boys would love to play them once again.”

Kiwis outgunned by Slovenia A week after a stunning 1-0 win over Serbia, New Zealand were dealt a pre-World Cup reality check in the form of a 3-1 defeat to Slovenia.

Two free kicks from Slovenian star Milivoje Novakovic – one following a controversial refereeing decision – and a third goal from an error by New Zealand keeper Mark Paston on the stroke of half-time saw Slovenia maintain their imposing home record.

Rory Fallon scored the Kiwis’ only goal in the 20th minute but they created enough clear chances to take positives out of the loss. The defensive line, led by skipper

Ryan Nelsen, was again solid as they denied the hosts in a goalless second half, with coach Ricki Herbert keeping his top line-up on the park.

New Zealand competed strongly after half-time but couldn’t crack the Slovenians.

Herbert would have been encouraged by the All Whites’ commitment in the second half, but the Kiwis will need to convert their chances if they are to beat Slovakia in their World Cup opener on June 15.

TNT online For our in-depth World Cup coverage, see tntmagazine. com/worldcup2010

Rory Fallon uses his head

Getty Images

Australia will face Ghana in the group stage and, even with star midfielder Michael Essien out injured, Ghana coach Milovan Rajevac thinks his team has Australia’s measure. “We mustn’t forget Australia, who play very disciplined football,” Rajevac said. “But I think that our team has better individuals than [the] Australian team.”

Yanks roll Aussies

general

news & sport

Stosur loses French final Samantha Stosur enjoyed a giant-killing run at the French Open, but it ended in disappointment when the Australian lost 6-4 7-6 to Italy’s Francesca Schiavone in Saturday’s final.

Stosur, the tournament’s seventh seed, eliminated Justine Henin, Serena Williams and Jelena Jankovic in the earlier rounds, but failed to produce her best tennis when it mattered most.

She started slowly and her high rate of unforced errors allowed Schiavone to take the first set. Appearing to settle into a rhythm in the second set, Stosur won an early service break with her powerful groundstrokes, but the Italian fought back to claim the title with an inspired tiebreak.

Stosur – who was the first

47

Sam Stosur

Australian female Grand Slam finalist for 30 years, and had won the last four of her five meetings with Schiavone – remained gracious after what must have been a galling loss.

“You played very well today and had a great tournament,” she said to the Italian player.

“Well done, and good luck for the rest of the year.”

Getty Images

Aussies predicted to face India in Ashes warm-up Australia’s tour to India in September and October, originally scheduled to include only limited-overs matches, seems likely to be tweaked with the addition of two Tests.

Australia, who arrive in the UK later this month for five ODIs against England and two Test matches against Pakistan, will have one eye on the home Ashes series beginning in November, and skipper Ricky Ponting admitted a tour to India beforehand may not be the ideal preparation.

“It’d be nice to get some match hardness into the guys, having not played a lot of Test cricket at that stage,” Ponting said.

“But we’ll come home then and be back into one-day cricket in Australia anyway so we’ll just have to manage

Steve Smith

that as well as we can.”

Should Australia play Tests in India, the beneficiary could be 21-year-old allrounder Steve Smith, who would then be in the box seat to make his Test debut – assuming he’s not called up next month against Pakistan – as a second spinner.

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! d W e O leas N re

with

K O ates BO d

LANGUAGE SCHOOL

ly u J

NEW

Spanish Plus class now available

Learn The Lingo courses, part of TNT’s Language School, are ideal for beginners or those who’d like to brush up on the basics Once a week, for five weeks:

Ë FRENCH / SPANISH

VENUE TNT offices, SW5 9RX TIME Mon, Wed, Thu, 6.30pm-8pm COST £65 before June 20 £75 from June 21

Ë SPANISH / SPANISH PLUS*

Courses include:

Ë ITALIAN / SPANISH

Every Monday from July 5 Every Wednesday from July 7 Every Thursday from July 8

*This class is for attendees who have already done the initial five weeks and wish to continue for another five

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Five weeks of intensive sessions Language Machine tutor Language pack and reading materials Jumbuck’s pie Refreshments

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FOR INFO AND TO BOOK YOUR PLACE SEE tntmagazine.com/school Places are limited, only 15 per course, book early to avoid disappointment!

LET THE PARTY

W

BEGIN

hen the World Cup kicks off on June 11, it’s not just the competition for the Jules Rimet trophy that will be in earnest. Also on is a huge month-long party celebrated all over the globe.

And you certainly don’t need to be a huge fan of football to get into the

swing of it – the spirit of the World Cup transcends sport.

What’s more, for the first time ever, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa are all taking part.

Read on for the best pubs, bars and clubs in London for watching the World Cup – these are venues where big screens,

drink specials and a cracking atmosphere are pretty much guaranteed.

And for the inside story of your country’s chances at the World Cup, check out our interviews with Bafana Bafana midfielder Steven Pienaar, Socceroos stalwart Brett Emerton, and All Whites captain Ryan Nelsen.

tntmagazine.com

WORLD CUP ON TAP 51

cheers &

beers Support your team in London at one of these venues screening the World Cup action INFERNOS

TNT Images, Getty Images

146 Clapham High St, SW4 7UH Clapham Common (020 7720 7633; infernos.co.uk)

When: Open for South Africa v Mexico, June 11; Ghana v Australia, June 19; Germany v Australia, June 13; Italy v New Zealand, June 20; South Africa v Uruguay, June 16, Australia v Serbia, June 23; all England group-stage matches; and all knockout stage matches involving Australia New Zealand, South Africa and England.

What’s happening: Cheap drinks, pies from back home, DJs and entertainment after each match. Two big screens, plasma televisions, and guaranteed unobstructed viewing.

Get off your arse because: Infernos is hosting the official TNT World Cup parties, in association with Contiki, so for Aussies, Kiwis and Saffas this is a venue dedicated to you and your country, so

scream and yell without worrying about random German, Mexican or Italian football fans.

THE SLUG @ WIMBLEDON 16 Hartfield Cres, SW19 3TA Wimbledon (020 8947 1791; fulhamslug.co.uk)

When: Showing all World Cup matches.

What’s happening: Every drink is £1.50 during South Africa matches; Australian

beers and snakebites are £1.50 during Australia matches; £1.50 Steinlagers and snakies during New Zealand matches. All drinks £1.50 on the opening day, June 11.

DJs and entertainment after the matches.

Get off your arse because: With 17 big screens dotted around two floors, as well as those cheap drinks, it will be hard not to have a brilliant time.

JACK’S LOUNGE 96 Isabella St, SE1 8DD Southwark (020 7928 0678; jackslounge.co.uk)

Laaaduuuma!

When: Jack’s will open at noon for all games, except on Sundays.

What’s happening: It has great giveaways during evening fixtures – bet on the first goal to win a bottle of bubbly – to keep you fed and watered. Jack’s also offer a fabulous selection of finger food for a bite to eat before getting back to the

tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010

WANT £1,500 WORTH OF FREE STUFF?

GO TO TNTMAGAZINE.COM/LBB ALSO AVAILABLE FROM THE WALKABOUT SHEPHERDS BUSH AND ELK BAR FULHAM

NOW ONLY £5

PREPARE FOR SERIOUS FUN ■ AUSTRALIA MATCHES Sunday, June 13, Germany v Australia, kick-off 7.30pm Saturday, June 19, Ghana v Australia, kick-off 3pm Wednesday, June 23, Australia v Serbia, kick-off 7.30pm

WORLD WORLD CUPCUP ON 2010 TAP

IT’S A MATCH!

■ NEW ZEALAND MATCHES

The music’s as cool as the drinks at Gigalum

You won’t look downcast if there’s an Oz win

important business of football.

Get off your arse because: Nothing wrong with going to your local but Jack’s is slightly more upmarket – as a cocktail bar, it wouldn’t normally show sports events but is making an exception given that everyone will be football-mad for the next month.

CLAPHAM GRAND 21-25 St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT Clapham Junction (020 7223 6523; claphamgrand.com)

TNT Images, Getty Images

When: The focus is on Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and England games.

What’s happening: Free entry for all games, but arrive early. There are screens throughout the venue and private boxes for hire, which come with a case of beer and a platter of food.

Get off your arse because: The Clapham Grand has the biggest sports screen in London, at 40 sq m. After games on Thursday, Friday and Saturday regular club nights begin. Your World Cup party just got a whole lot better.

What’s happening: Two large screens and great DJs will ensure a good time. There’s an alfresco bar and a beer garden – you can also book a spot and pretty much have your own TV. Get off your arse because: This place knows how to have a good time. After the games, the party will continue with Gigalum DJs rocking the joint. The beer garden will be a great place to enjoy your team’s fortunes, plus you can get beer towers so you don’t have to move to top up. Smart thinking!

Tuesday, June 15, New Zealand v Slovakia, kick-off 12.30pm Sunday, June 20, Italy v New Zealand, kick-off 3pm Thursday, June 24, Paraguay v New Zealand, kick-off 3pm

■ SOUTH AFRICA MATCHES Friday, June 11, South Africa v Mexico, kick-off 3pm Wednesday, June 16, South Africa v Uraguay, kick-off 7.30pm Tuesday, June 22, France v South Africa, kick-off 3pm

REVOLUTION 95-97 Clapham High St, SW4 7TB Clapham Common (020 7720 6642; revolution-bars.co.uk)

When: Showing all games.

What’s happening: Revolution will provide a match-day vibe that’s refined but not pretentious. Buy food and drink packages and book tables with a good view of the action on screen.

Get of your arse because: There will be plenty of World Cup-themed cocktails, including the Raspberrry Roo-Roo, named after Wayne Rooney. There will also be

Celebrate with the Germans at Octoberfest Pub

GIGALUM 7-8 Cavendish Parade, SW4 9DW Clapham South (020 8772 0303; gigalum.com)

When: Showing all South Africa, New Zealand and Australia games.

Give it horns this World Cup

53

WORLD CUP ON TAP 54

Anyone game for a pint?

30 different types of vodka shots as well as a great wine and beer list. Table service will mean you never miss a play – or spill a drink.

OCTOBERFEST PUB 678-680 Fulham Rd, SW6 5SA Parsons Green (020 7736 5293; octoberfestpub.com)

When: Screening all the matches. Free entry, except for Germany matches, which are £5 standing, including a pint of Bavarian lager, or £10 for a seat and a stein of lager.

What’s happening: For Germany matches there will be a live Bavarian oompah band. For other matches, you get a free 5 litre mini-keg if you book a table of 10 or more. There will be DJs and after-party on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights.

You can get a 50 litre keg at your table for £350 – a bargain for big groups.

Get off your arse because: The Germans love few things more than drinking good beer, partying and football (three-time World Cup winners). Put these together and you’ve got a cracking night out.

SHEPHERD’S BUSH WALKABOUT 58 Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8QE Shepherd’s Bush (020 8743 2006; walkabout.eu.com)

WORLD CUP CARNIVAL Shepherd’s Bush Pavilion, 58 Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8QE Shepherd’s Bush (worldcupcarnival2010.com)

When: Throughout the tournament.

What’s happening: A huge all-seater terraced arena with a great 16m HD screen, surround-sound and clear views of games. Some of London’s finest DJs will provide the tunes.

Get off your arse because: It’ll be the closest thing to being at the games – maybe even better as there will be food stalls, half-time entertainment, cheerleaders, and cocktail bars. Get your fancy dress on and go nuts!

Australia, New Zealand or South Africa are playing.

What’s happening: A free barbecue before weekend games, just to help fans soak up the booze before the action starts.

You’ll need as much padding as you can get, with the Redback selling ‘buckets of beer’ – five stubbies of VB or Steinlager for £8 or £10. That’s value.

Get off your arse because: For Aussie and Kiwi games the Redback will draw a crowd. If there’s a big win, this will be the place to get on the celebratory gas.

JOE COOL’S 4 Fulham High St, SW6 3LQ Putney Bridge (020 7736 9606; joecoolslondon.com)

REDBACK TAVERN 264 High St, W3 9BH Acton Town (redbacktavern.com)

When: The Redback focus on evening and weekend games, particularly when Catch Oz and Kiwi games at the Redback

tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010

When: Every World Cup game.

What’s happening: Plenty of specials, including £5 entry with free drinks from 7pm-

TNT Images

When: Every game will be shown, with commentary, on the Walkie’s 20m HD projector.

What’s happening: To embrace the World Cup’s international vibe, dine out on the Walkabout’s ‘pies of the world’ offer. With

the Walkabout’s massive screen, you’re guaranteed a great view, and you can stick around to party.

Get off your arse because: If you want to be surrounded by fellow Antipodeans you can’t really miss the Walkabout. For the Socceroos opening match against Germany on a Sunday arvo, the Walkabout will be heaving.

Bar has great energy. It’s always had a reputation for good music and the World Cup will be no different. Music will be tailored for the games: Brazilian music for Brazil, Spanish for Spain and the food will follow suit. A brilliant place to party in summer.

THE SOUTHERNER WAXY O’CONNORS 14-16 Rupert St, W1D 6DD Piccadilly Circus (020 7287 0255; waxyoconnors.co.uk/london)

Set free the party animal in you

9pm on Fridays, buy-one-get-one-free from 7pm-9pm Saturdays, and free entry and buy one-get-one-free on four pint jugs for £12 on Sundays.

Get off your arse because: You can watch the match from the rock-star surrounds of Joe Cool’s jacuzzis, bookable in advance.

THE PEMBROKE 261 Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA Earl’s Court (020 7373 8337; thepembrokesw5.co.uk)

When: Every game, with televisions spread across four different viewing areas.

What’s happening: You can book a table for £20 a head – later credited to your bill – so it’s a more civilised way to watch the footy and enjoy time-honoured British pub grub to help soak up the booze.

Get of your arse because: The Pembroke will attract a real mix of people. It will be heaving for the England games but is going out of its way to accommodate everyone else. If you want to watch in an international atmosphere, with a cracking terrace, this is a good bet.

Essex St, WC2R 1AP Temple (020 7936 2536. See ‘The Southerner London’ on Facebook

When: Screening all games live, When: Every game will be shown but preference will be given to on big screens.

New Zealand games.

What’s happening: There will be a special What’s happening: The bar has two World Cup menu and the entertainment 40-inch screens and two 20-inch ones. will ramp up as the tournament goes They can be seen from all corners of the on. You will also be able to score bar accentuated with surround sound. some cheap jugs of Foster’s during The Southerner is not usually open on Australia games.

Sundays but for the World Cup it will be, Get of your arse because: Ireland didn’t so take advantage. manage to make it through – they can Get off your arse because: Kiwis are thank Thierry Henry for that – but they notoriously good to party with. It will also still know how to celebrate a big sporting be the spiritual home of the All Whites event. And, given Waxy O’Connor’s location just around the corner from It’s World Cup party time the West End, the place will hum with an international crowd.

VIBE BAR 91 Brick Ln, E1 6QL Aldgate East (020 7247 3479; vibe-bar.co.uk)

When: The focus is on England games.

What’s happening: Five different spaces at the friendly, relaxed Vibe Bar, all with coverage of the World Cup. All England games will be shown in the outside courtyard on a 16ft screen.

The courtyard can hold 600-800 people on a first-in, first-served basis.

Get off your arse because: Vibe Show your team some love

Claudio Soriano, TNT Images

GUANABARA Parker St, WC2 5PW Holborn (020 7242 8600; guanabara.co.uk)

When: Screening all Brazil and England matches and most other games.

What’s happening: Free entry for all screenings. During Brazil matches, there will be vendors wandering through the club selling beer and traditional Brazilian

tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010

WORLD CUP ON TAP

street food. There will also be live entertainment to warm up the crowd before the match, dancers at half-time and live music after matches.

Get off your arse because: This is where Brazilians go to party in London, so where better to soak up the spirit of the world’s best football and party nation?

55

WORLD CUP ON TAP 56

Cheers mate!

in London. All Kiwi beers (including Speight’s, Steinlager, Mac’s Gold) are available. Plus you can watch the All Blacks in the Tri-Nations and then stay on and watch the World Cup. All the usual Kiwi suspects served – burger rings, pies, three pint jugs. You can never have too much sport and too much beer.

TNT Images

DE HEMS 11 Macclesfield St, W1D 5BW Leicester Square (020 7437 2494)

What’s happening: Preference given to the Netherlands games but Dutch football fans are a warm, enthusiastic crowd who love a beer. The place will be decked out in orange and is a great venue for a taste of a European footballing atmosphere. There will be a range of flat screens both upstairs and downstairs.

Get of your arse because: The 1974 Netherlands team invented Total Football; De Hems offers the total Dutch World Cup experience from a full range of Dutch and Belgian beers to Dutch treats like bitter ballen (deep-fried meatballs) and frikandell en speciaal (salami sausage with diced onion in a special sauce). The bottom bar is first come, first served; the famous, atmospheric top floor will be available to VIP ticket holders for £15 a pop.

BARRACUDA 133 Houndsditch, EC3A 7BX Aldgate (barracudahoundsditch.com)

When: All the matches will be televised on both the bar’s two big screens and its

tntmagazine.com/worldcup2010

The Clapham Grand

12 plasmas. There’s also one 3D screen for the full World Cup effect.

What’s happening: It’s free to book a VIP table and there will be live music and DJs after the games. In keeping with the South African theme, Barracuda will offer food off the braai to soak up the booze and some special South African drinks will be brought in to wet your whistle.

Get off your arse because: Bafana Bafana will be hoping to confound the experts’ tips and go deep into the tournament.

Every World Cup benefits from a successful host nation, and if the South African team somehow upset Mexico in their opening game on June 11, the Savanna will be flowing late into the night.

Show your Kiwi spirit

WORLD CUP 2010 57

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WORLD CUP 2010

World Cup Fever

@ The Fest Join us for all the action & all the goals this summer at The Fest!

We will be showing all the games on our 3 Plasma screens and 2 huge projection screens!

58

You will have a view of the game from every angle of the venue!

Watch some world cup history with us as Australia, New Zealand and South Africa compete all together in the world cup for the first time!

Be served amazing imported German Beers by our beautiful, bubbly, beer maidens in traditional dirndl dresses!

Our delicious beer will be poured into huge litre glasses for that beerfest feel!

Delicious Oktoberfest food will be on offer! Everything from Pretzels to Knuckles!!!

Please book ahead to avoid disappointment!

All pre-booked parties of ten or more will receive a free 5 litre mini keg! (not valid for Germany or England matches)

TO BOOK!

Tel: 020 7736 5293 E-mail: info@octoberfestpub.com

WORLD CUP AT GIGALUM

The BE to watST place World ch the Cup!

Special offers on drinks if you book in advance!

so t h ese k o o Or b

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these tables?

Call 0208 772 0303 or email info@gigalum.com. Or simply come down to enjoy the party, we have DJs Thursday to Sunday to carry on the atmosphere straight after matches.

Or you can sun yourself on our terrace overlooking Clapham Common. www.gigalum.com | 7-8 Cavendish Parade | Clapham South London SW4 9DW | By Clapham South Tube Station

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WORLD CUP ON TAP 59

N R U B O T E C PA playing s n a ic fr A th few Sou As one of the , Everton’s e u g a e L r ie in the Prem vital player a e b l il w r a Steven Piena STURROCK WORDS TOM n o ti a n for the host

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Bafana Bafana winger Steven Pienaar

WORLD CUP MOMENTS

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Zidane spits the dummy (2006) In the 2006 final, French star Zinedine Zidane had a tiff with Italy’s Marco Materazzi. No one knows exactly what was said but Zidane took offence and headbutted the Italian in the chest.

hen the World Cup kicks off this Friday night, with host South Africa facing Mexico, one of the tournament’s persistent questions will be hanging heavy in the Johannesburg night: are the South Africans the real deal? Can they continue the tradition of host nations rising to the occasion, often belying their world rankings?

Bafana Bafana and Everton winger Steven Pienaar knows expectations are heightened when it comes to the host nation but is doing his best to ignore the added pressure.

“I hear it almost every day so we’re not so focused on that. What we’re focused on is the first game – that’s

the most important one for us and if we can get a good result I think we’ll set the tournament alight,” he says.

“We will go to the game with experience of the Confederations Cup. Not to lose the first game, that’s important, and a point or win would be good.”

A TRICKY DRAW Certainly, South Africa did not receive as easy a draw as they might have hoped, in the same group as Mexico, Uruguay and France. With the top two from each pool going through to the knockout stage, South Africa will need to cause at least one major upset to progress.

“Mexico have got Rafael Marquez. He

Maradona’s hand of God (1986) Four years after war began in the Falklands, Argentina and England met in the World Cup quarter-final. Argentina’s Maradona latched on to a looping ball and appeared to punch it past the England keeper (right).

Replays show a hand-ball, but the score stood. Maradona claimed the goal was scored “a little with the head of Maradona and a little with the hand of God”.

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ON HIGHER GROUND In South Africa, nine different cities will host matches, and Pienaar hopes Bafana Bafana will glean an advantage from the varying conditions.

“When you play in Johannesburg, it’s high altitude – even in winter it’s difficult to breathe and I think all over the world when it’s high altitude it’s tough for people that come from low altitude.”

“In Durban it’s more humid and Cape Town is at sea level, it’s a bit colder … and some parts of Rustenberg are warmer than Johannesburg, also high altitude. Mpumalanga is high altitude so I hope it will work in our favour.”

60

Pienaar will put his Everton experience to good use during the tournament

is a very good player, and they play some good attacking football,” Pienaar says of his side’s first-up opponents.

“I’ve watched Uruguay playing against Argentina – they’ve got a good physical team, good attacking players.”

Then there’s France, winners in 1998, whose lowly seeding from qualification made them a dangerous floater.

“France, we don’t even have to watch a video to know about them,” Pienaar says. “We know it’s a world-class team, a lot of players that can change a game in seconds, so we’ll be well-prepared for them.”

The vuvuzelas “ go for 90 minutes.

It’s really noisy ” zeal of it all may come as a surprise to outsiders.

“I think they’re one of the noisiest crowds the people experience in the World Cup. The vuvuzelas go for 90 minutes, even before the games, so it’s really noisy – it’s like an elephant, – so it’s going to be a nice experience for the outside world.”

Pienaar hopes for World Cup success

THE LASTING LEGACY From the exile of apartheid to the teething pains of re-engagement, as well as scandal, corruption and mismanagement, South African sport has experienced its share of tribulations over the years. The history makes it doubly important for

Hurst’s dodgy goal (1966)

Pele arrives (1958)

Roger Milla’s celebrations (1990)

In the 1966 final, England and West Germany were tied 2-2 at full-time. In extra time, English striker Geoff Hurst pounced on a cross and fired goalward, only for his shot to ricochet off the underside of the bar, down on to the line and out. The goal was awarded but has remained a point of conjecture ever since. Did the ball cross the line or not?

In Brazil’s successful 1958 campaign, 17-year-old Pele scored three goals in the semi-final against France and two in the final against Sweden. For his second goal in the final, the teenager trapped the ball on his chest before twice chipping around defenders without the ball touching the ground and then volleying it seamlessly into the net.

Cameroonian Roger Milla (right) scored twice in extra time against Colombia in the first knockout stage, celebrating each goal by approaching the corner flag with a suggestive, two-step samba.

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» Visit facebook.com/adidasfootball for exclusive Adidas World Cup content

xx xxx xxxx ,xxx ,xxxx xxx

WHEN THE VUVUZELAS BLAST On the world stage, South Africa is probably better known for its rugby players and cricketers than its footballers.

As a result, the vibrant, slightly manic support for Bafana Bafana – with trumpeting vuvuzelas – is a real off-field highlight of the tournament, and the sheer

Getty Images, Adidas

South Africa to, firstly, host a successful tournament and, secondly, use that momentum to generate long-term improvements in the country.

“I think what the World Cup will bring to South Africa is a lot of changes to the infrastructure of the country, a lot of job opportunities for people and, yeah, I hope it will make it a better place, safer place also for tourists, because it’s a beautiful country,” Pienaar says.

WORLD CUP 2010 61

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GAME

N O Socceroo Brett Emerton is confident that Australia are finally about to realise their World Cup potential WORDS DAVID DAVUTOVIC

I

magine the modern-day, pampered, overpaid, petulant footballer and you’ll probably come up with the polar opposite of Brett Emerton.

The Socceroos and Blackburn Rovers winger earns more in a week than most of us in a year but Emerton has kept his feet firmly on the ground. In fact, he almost has to be forced into admission when it comes to acknowledging his stellar career.

“I’ve worked hard to get to where I am,’’ says the 31-year-old family man, allowing himself a moment to reflect on a European career that has spanned a decade, more than 500 games and has included an Olympic Games and a World Cup. The man who rejected the chance to join Manchester United in 1999 will continue to enjoy the fruits of his labour this month in South Africa when the Socceroos embark on their third World Cup.

WORLD CUP MOMENTS The Cruyff turn debuts (1974) This trick of evasion was named after Dutch star Johan Cruyff, who first used it in a game against Sweden. Cruyff shimmied one way, before tapping the ball back between his legs, leaving a wrong-footed Swedish defender flailing.

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Maradona’s greatest goal (1986) Four minutes after giving Argentina a 1-0 lead over England in the 1986 quarter-final, Maradona took the ball in his own half, slalomed through, and just burnt off, every English challenge, before recovering sufficient composure to slot the ball past the keeper from a deceptively tough angle. Unquestionably one of the greatest World Cup goals.

Brilliant Brazilians (1970) Winning the Brazilians the 1970 final, Pelé and Jairzhino’s set-up for Carlos Alberto’s finish was a masterstroke of team play – from the greatest ever side.

N

THE GROUP OF DEATH? As in 2006, the Socceroos have already been written off by many, albeit this time with some justification.

Group G, featuring Brazil, Portugal, Ivory Coast and North Korea, has been dubbed the ‘Group of Death’ by many, but Emerton reckons the Socceroos’ group – paired with Germany, Serbia and Ghana – has strong claims to the title.

“I think ours is the most competitive because all four teams are capable of going through to the next round, even

Getty Images

BACK IN BUSINESS Brett Emerton believes his injuryinterrupted season could be a blessing in disguise this World Cup. The winger missed a large chunk of Blackburn Rovers’ season after a difficult knee reconstruction.

“We haven’t had a proper break for such a long time, so it’s been a nice break and I think it could work in my favour,” says Emerton, who usually plays over 50 games a season.

“It’s also allowed me to spend time on leg and upper body strength, which I couldn’t do when I was playing.”

WORLD CUP ON TAP

RECALLING GERMANY For Emerton, Germany 2006 holds mixed memories: the jubilation of his maiden World Cup appearance was offset by suspension from Australia’s knockout tie with Italy.

A star in his combined roles of midfield and defence, Emerton’s two yellows and consequent red card against Croatia meant automatic suspension.

“It was a major disappointment for me and I was devastated at the time,’’ Emerton admits. “But that’s football, I look back at the 2006 World Cup as an amazing experience and we’re lucky to have qualified once again.

“Obviously the memories we got from the World Cup will never be forgotten – it’s the pinnacle of anyone’s career and the way we got there was special.’’

The Socceroos will rely on their previous World Cup experience

though a lot of people have said that it’s the other group featuring Brazil, Portugal and Ivory Coast,’’ he says.

“Germany are a really top team, full of world-class players and they seem to do well in all major tournaments. But then the other three teams are almost equal and any of them could go through.’’

AUSTRALIA’S X-FACTOR The Socceroos are often seen as noncontenders in the World Cup, especially when compared with the street smarts and big tournament experience of teams such as Germany and Italy.

The 2002 Brazilian side is the most recent example of a team given a Buckley’s chance after stumbling through qualifying, before completing an almost flawless campaign to eventually overcome Germany in the final.

It will be the Socceroos’ third World Cup, but Emerton believes Australia’s 2006 experience will count. “Even though we’re four years older, I think we’re definitely more experienced and that will be important.

“When we went to Germany, we didn’t know what it was about but we’ve got that experience under our belts now and it could be an advantage,” he says.

“And we’ve played plenty of competitive games in Asia since 2006, which has helped us develop a good understanding.

“So in terms of the World Cup there are no excuses for us this time round.’’

Andres Escobar is shot (1994)

Gazza’s tears (1990)

Only 10 days after volleying the ball into his own net against the USA – condemning his side to defeat – Colombian defender Andres Escobar was gunned down in his hometown. The shooting was supposedly revenge for the own goal which had caused criminal gambling syndicates to lose money. His funeral was attended by 120,000 people. He was 27.

Paul Gascoigne cried after being booked for a foul against West Germany, banning him from the final, but England were knocked out anyway. The episode made Gazza (right) a sporting icon.

63

There are no “ excuses for us

this time round

”

Emerton plays wing for Blackburn Rovers

England get done by the Germans on penalties (1990) England’s best performance in a World Cup since winning in 1966 came in 1990, when they made the semi-finals before losing to Germany. The teams were held in deadlock until Germany prevailed on penalties. It was the start of the English habit of losing on penalties in big games to Germany.

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The Kiwis are back in the World Cup after a 28 -year hiatus and skipper Ryan Nelsen is determined to make the most of it WORDS DAVID DAVUTOV

WORLD CUP MOMENTS Rivaldo’s ridiculous acting (2002) Brazil midfielder Rivaldo was to take a corner. The ball was passed to him by a Turkish player and when it struck Rivaldo on the thigh, he fell over, writhing on the ground and clutching his face like he had been shot. The Turk got a red card.

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IC

Australia beat Japan (2006)

The Tardelli cry (1982)

Playing their first World Cup match in 32 years, the Socceroos found themselves 1-0 down against Japan, with 83 minutes gone. Enter Tim Cahill, whose two goals in five minutes gave Australia an unlikely lead before John Aloisi fired home a third in stoppage time. Australia progressed beyond the group stage before being shafted by the Italians.

When Marco Tardelli (right) scored against West Germany in the 1982 final, he ran towards his bench, fi sts clenched in front of his chest, tears pouring down his face and screaming his own name as he shook his head wildly.

EARNING GLOBAL RESPECT But when attention turns to South Africa 2010, Nelsen is deadly serious. He knows this is New Zealand’s chance to improve its international football reputation.

“I can’t wait for it to start,’’ says Nelsen.

“It’s a tough group – Italy, Slovakia and Paraguay are three very good teams, but we’re competitive now. In the past we haven’t had many goalscorers and haven’t

Getty Images

UNDER THE RADAR Nelsen believes his team may have already been written off by their opponents, just as the Socceroos were four years ago. “I think a lot of teams will underestimate us, which is good. It’s what we want. It’s like Australia in Germany,” Nelsen says.

However, after the All Whites defeated the 15th-ranked Serbians last month, their World Cup opponents may be a little cautious. Kiwi goalscorer Shane Smeltz will definitely be watched more closely by the opposition defences.

WORLD CUP ON TAP

R

yan Nelsen walks into the Blackburn Rovers’ lunch room, flanked by his Australian teammates Vince Grella and Brett Emerton.

The defender’s been the butt of most Kiwi football jokes for the better part of a decade, but now he can give as good as he gets with New Zealand breaking a 28-year drought to qualify for the World Cup. Returning fire to his Aussie teammates, first Nelsen complained that the Socceroos would prove to be second-rate opposition for the All Whites at the MCG friendly played on May 24.

This was promptly followed by a dig at Baz Luhrmann’s Australia. On learning that Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman were ambassadors for Australia’s 20182022 World Cup bid, Nelsen said: ”Well, at least they can try and redeem themselves.’’

The benefits of World Cup qualification are two-fold – Nelsen loves cracking a joke and finally he has some new material.

65

Ryan Nelsen after the All Whites’ win against Bahrain in 2009

If we have “ a good day, you never know ” had much experience, and I think we have quite a bit of that now in our team. If some teams have an off day and we have a good day, you never know.’’

The 32-year-old is battle-hardened after five years in the English Premier League, his progress highlighted by the fact that he wears the captain’s armband.

The rest of the New Zealand squad is a mix of A-League and older overseas players, with the exception of a few young guns, such as Chris Wood of West Bromwich Albion, who’s pushing for a starting berth.

The team swung between embarrassing and courageous at last year’s Confederations Cup (it started with a 5-0 drubbing by Spain and finished with a draw against Iraq), which is why World Cup qualification was viewed as a long-shot.

One big difference between that team and the one heading to South Africa is Nelsen, who missed the Confederations Cup due to injury.

WORLD CUP FEVER A Kiwi team with Nelsen at the heart of defence is organised and disciplined, evident when the All Whites overcame

The fix is in (1982)

Kuwait walk off (1982)

Facing Austria in the final group game, a win for West Germany would see both teams proceed to the next round. After West Germany took an early lead, both teams shut up shop, neither trying to score for the next 80 minutes. It was an obvious fix and Algeria, the side who missed out as a result, protested but Fifa let it stand.

France were leading 3-1 against Kuwait when they scored another goal as Kuwaiti defenders – thinking they had heard a whistle – remained rooted to the spot. The Kuwaiti FA president, Prince Fahid, told his players to walk off in protest, and the referee foolishly disallowed the goal – thus allowing the game to continue. France won 4-1.

Bahrain 1-0 on aggregate in November to qualify for the World Cup. It sent New Zealand into a frenzy, with A-League side Wellington Phoenix enjoying huge crowds for the rest of the season.

Nelsen hopes the enthusiasm continues.

“It was a pretty cool night, but we deserved to get through,’’ he recalls.

“It was similar to when Australia beat Uruguay in 2005 … it was massive for [football in] the country.’’

Archie Gemmill’s wonder goal (1978) Archie Gemmill gave Scotland a slim chance against the Netherlands with a goal that remains one of the World Cup’s greatest. It’s immortalised in the film Trainspotting: as Renton climaxes during sex, he says, “I haven’t felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978.”

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CAREERS What is your job back in New Zealand?

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73

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SKILLS SHORTAGE IN NZ

Should I look for a job back home before I leave the UK? There’s no denying that the UK job market remains tough, and the scene back home is probably marginally more healthy. That being said, it certainly can’t hurt to reach

RETURNING HOME

out to old contacts and colleagues before you set foot on home soil.

It’s also a good idea to contact recruiters in your field Down Under and discuss when you’ll be back and what sort of work you’re after.

Teachers not rewarded A ustralian schools are failing to reward their best teachers and correct the poor ones, according to a new report from Melbourne thinktank, the Grattan Institute.

In the report, 91 per cent of Australian teachers say their most talented colleagues are not recognised sufficiently, while only 8 per cent believe they will receive recognition for doing their job better.

Equally, an overwhelming majority say school principals

do nothing about underperforming staff.

“We had worried that the situation probably had a few problems but it’s clear school teachers and school principals consider the situation is very bad,” Dr Ben Jensen, the report’s author, says.

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

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RETURNING HOME 74

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RETURNING HOME 75

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Setting up your life again at home is a mighty task that can be made easier if you choose the right time to return WORDS REBECCA KENT

B

efore you pack your bags for home, it’s a good idea to know if the weather, and job and housing markets on the flipside will be in your favour. Here are some guidelines.

Getty Images, TNT Images

THE FESTIVE MOVE Typically, most of us time our return home for the end of the year, which is the best way to catch up with family and friends who are in festive spirits, and the weather is amenable for sunshine and barbecues.

If you’re fortunate to have some cash in the back pocket, you can use December and January to re-acquaint yourself with home and find accommodation, then turn your attention to job hunting towards the end of January.

JOB MARKET BUOYANCY If you’re a teacher do the leg work before you indulge in the festivities back home as recruiting takes place at the end of the calendar year, says Caroline Rafferty of Trackmeback.com.

She adds: “Between March and October

is typically when it’s easiest to find work in Australia and New Zealand as the contract, accounting, tax and finance markets are particularly buoyant towards the end of the financial year.”

Jobs in financial services, health, fast-moving consumer goods and IT are available year-round, but if you work in the mining, engineering and energy industries, keep your eyes on news from home as recruitment is based on major projects.

BUYING A HOUSE IN AUSTRALIA Seasonal variation in house prices needs little consideration since Australia is blessed with mild winters and warm springs.

“A decade ago, we would see very sparse listing volumes during winter months then a surge in spring, but with the advent of the internet, we are seeing a more consistent spread of listings throughout the year,” says Rich Harvey, CEO of Propertybuyer.com.au.

Keep in mind that the last two weeks of December and the first three weeks of January (during summer school holidays)

Planning will bridge the gaps when you return home

tntmagazine.com

WHEN TO LEAVE THE BEST TIME “The last thing you want to do after two years of a fun time in London is go home in winter when nothing is happening,” says Barbara Cullan, 29, who packed her bags in 2005 when her visa was up.

“I returned to Sydney in summer when there were loads of events and music festivals on. There were so many things to do that it felt like an extension of my time in London and I guess it did a lot to alleviate any post-travel blues I may have had.”

Cor, limey: move in for the grill

Swell times: life’s a beach back home

are when the real estate industry closes.

With Australia predicted to be short of some 400,000 dwellings by 2015, Harvey advises getting in early to enjoy strong capital growth.

“Christmas and Easter are the two times of the year when vendors are more motivated to sell than any other, as they just want to put a deal together before they go on an extended holiday,” says Harvey.

PROPERTY IN NEW ZEALAND With a more seasonal climate, the depths of winter are the best time to buy property in New Zealand, where spring usually sees a resurgence of buyer interest and it becomes a seller’s market.

The forecast suggests house prices will drop throughout 2010 and into 2011 by as much as 12 per cent. But with the stock of quality homes in good locations considered proportionally low, thus

making prices reliant on location, it pays to do your research.

FLIGHTS OF FANCY Flights are going to take a sizeable chunk out of your returning home budget. But there are great deals to be found out of season, in May, June and April (outside of the Easter holidays) when you can snag a seat for around £500 – half the premium prices for flights to Australia and New Zealand in December, January and February.

There is much to consider in the big move back, but if you just establish your priorities, you’re already halfway there.

AN EVENTFUL YEAR Don’t sulk that your OE is over. You have these events to look forward to.

■ Twilight at Taronga, Sydney The zoo stages outdoor concerts. January-March.

■ Melbourne International

A Maori new year festival, including concerts, theatre, sports, cabaret and movies. June-July.

■ New Zealand International Comedy Festival, Wellington A programme of top comedians from New Zealand and around the world. April-May.

■ Lyttelton Harbour Festival ■ West End Carnivale, Brisbane

Stay ahead of the pack

tntmagazine.com

A city-wide masquerade party featuring world music, circus performers, food and drink. May.

of Lights, Christchurch Music, street parades, a midwinter street market, theatre and fireworks.

June.

New Zealand Tourism, TNT Images

Comedy Festival Stellar comedy acts (such as Jimeoin, right) at cheap prices. March-April.

■ Matariki Festival, Auckland

RETURNING HOME 77

HJB AUSTRALIA CALLING EXPERIENCED RECRUITERS s 3ICK AND TIRED OF THE ,ONDON 5NDERGROUND s %VER THOUGHT OF EXCHANGING A 5+ WINTER FOR AN !USSIE SUMMER s a + a + BASE n a + /4% Emphasis on reforms, low inflation, a healthy banking sector, a housing market boom, and growing ties with China has resulted in Australia boasting an enviable, strong economy.

It is this economy that currently has the Australian recruitment industry excited about the remainder of 2010 and what lies ahead for 2011 and beyond.

Considering this expected growth, Hamilton James & Bruce Pty Ltd is currently in London to meet with experienced Recruitment Consultants wishing to migrate to Australia to take advantage of this predicted growth and of course, enjoy the benefits of living and working in Australia.

Hamilton, James & Bruce (ASX:HJB) is an ASX listed recruitment company that has been delivering exceptional services to clients and candidates for over 30 years. Boasting a preferred supplier list that includes some of Australia’s largest corporates, HJB knows the Australian market place.

So if you have ever considered moving to Australia, please contact Robin Jerome on (+61) 431 611 675 or email rjerome@hjb.com.au or Adrian Belle on (+61) 410 535 711 or email abelle@hjb.com.au to arrange a confidential meeting. Meetings will be held in central London from June 9th-18th.

61805

With offices across Australia, HJB can offer you a career in almost every capital city including Sydney, Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Parramatta and Canberra.

HJB will arrange all required visas and provide relocation to Australia to successful consultants.

w w w.h j b. co m . a u

RECRUITMENT ADVICE & CONSULTING

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RETURNING HOME

MONEY Your monthly guide to moving to Australia and New Zealand

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

78

Cassandra Barker Job Recruitment consultant Lives Brisbane Age 29

Oz bank charges unfair t has emerged that some banks in Australia are making profit margins of up to 14,000 per cent on fees to customers who exceed their overdraft or credit limit, charging anything between $25 and $60 per transaction, News.com.au reports.

Banks have racked up at

I

EASY MONEY Laura Adcock MAKES YOUR CASH GO FURTHER

developed very positively on this front and we’re confident we have the right line,” he says.

A similar case was held in Britain last year, but the Court of Appeal favoured the banks, making it more difficult for consumers to reclaim unfair fees.

AIR NEW ZEALAND BEST

PAY RISES DOWN UNDER

If you’re flying home, the best value airline is Air New Zealand, according to consumer organisation Which?. The airline was awarded a rating of 89 per cent for value for money, compared with an industry average of 66 per cent, and given five stars for overall service.

Australian wages have risen by 4.3 per cent over the past year, according to the Melbourne Institute Wages Report for May. Nearly 65 per cent of respondents received a pay rise in the last 12 months, and just 4 per cent say their wages have fallen.

What were your major expenses when you arrived back home?

I had the luxury of moving in with my family while I got settled. The exchange rate isn’t ideal, but my English bank account doesn’t charge accountkeeping fees.

Are your spending habits different in Australia?

They were at first. Things seemed so expensive because you’re used to assessing prices in pounds, and not being able to afford certain luxuries.

DOING THE DIRTY It’s been a year for extra-marital affairs, and Ronan Keating appears to be the latest cheating scoundrel.

Divorce settlement aside, it may cost him in other ways » Ultra cheesy TV host Vernon the golfer lost a rumoured Kay’s ‘non-affair’ apparently cost him £100,000 after Alfa Romeo promptly dropped him when news of his sex texts to a Page 3 model emerged. » When more than a dozen women claimed they’d had sex with married Tiger Woods, Ronan Keating

tntmagazine.com

I lived in London for two years, working in recruitment and holidaying in Europe. I didn’t really want to leave, but I heard the recruitment market was picking up back home.

£63 million in contracts, including an Accenture deal worth £12 million. » But surely nothing compares with the cost of losing the England captaincy six months before the World Cup, eh John Terry?

Getty Images

Very few people arrive back in Australia or New Zealand without some sort of debt, thanks to travels or – less easy to stomach – the expense of returning home.

Work out the most you can afford to pay back each month and set up a standing order (direct debit) for pay day – it’s easier not to spend money if you never see it in your account.

If you have a few credit cards, try to pay off the one you owe the least on, while meeting the minimum requirements of the others.

This way you’ll pay one card off quickly and the satisfaction will motivate you not to splurge.

Build on the momentum and you’ll be debt free in no time.

least $5bn from exception fees in the past six years, and now more than 85,000 disgruntled customers have signed up to take class action against these extortionate penalties.

Ben Slade, of legal firm Maurice Blackburn, believes the consumers have a strong case.

“Australian legislation has

Why did you leave London?

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RETURNING HOME

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tntmagazine.com

Your monthly guide to moving to Australia and New Zealand

MOVING ON Resign from work How much notice you need to give your employer will depend on your contract usually two weeks to three months). You must give at least one week’s notice if you’ve been in your job for a month or more.

Give notice on your flat

Check the conditions of your Tenancy Agreement. If you want to leave before your lease is up you may be liable to pay until new tenants are found.

If you’re living in a sharehouse and haven’t signed a contract, you can move out whenever you want, though it’s usual to give a month’s notice and help find someone to move in.

ASK THE EXPERTS Marissa Murdock IMMIGRATION EXPERT, VISABUREAU.COM

Q

I am heading back to Australia at the end of the year. I’ve been living in the UK for the past four years – the first two years on a working holidaymaker visa and the last two on a Tier 2 (sponsorship) visa. If I go home at the end of the year but find out I want to come back to the UK, what are my best options? I’m 30 and have a Bachelor’s degree. Could I get a Tier 1 visa? Could my workplace sponsor me again?

A

It is possible for an employer to sponsor you again, provided their licence remains valid and they meet the Home Office criteria for employing a foreign worker – having

worked for them previously won’t necessarily mean an easier application process. For instance, they may still be required to carry out a resident labour market test.

If you score 95 points against the Home Office Tier 1 (General) criteria you could make an application for this visa and would not require sponsorship. It is no longer a requirement to hold a Master’s degree to get a Tier 1 visa, however, your previous earnings will play a large role in your eligibility.

» For more, see visabureau.com. To ask a question about getting started or moving on email realitycheck@tntmagazine.com

to yourself is about £80 a week.

Going it alone A bedsit or studio is at least £150 a week.

Bills Bills can include phone, gas, electricity, water, council tax and a TV licence.

Bond This is usually a month’s rent. You may also have to pay one month’s rent in advance.

Leases You may need to sign a lease for six or 12 months.

Pay and cancel your bills

Namely council tax, internet, phone, gas, electricity, TV, gym membership, insurance.

Settle overdrafts and credit cards Any defaults

on bank payments will be filed with a credit reference agency (making it difficult for you to set up an account or rent a flat if you return), or you could receive a County Court Judgement.

EMPLOYMENT

TAX The UK tax year begins on April 6, and if you work only part of the tax year you should get some tax back.

The tax threshold is £6475 per year – so if you earn less than this, you won’t pay any tax. You’ll need a P45 (when you leave a job) and a P60 (at the end of the tax year).

If you’re leaving the UK and won’t work again before the end of the tax year, you can claim a rebate by filling in a P85.

TNT Images

SHIPPING Get plenty of quotes, checking sizes and whether customs and tax charges are covered.

For sea freight (which should take no longer than 12 weeks to arrive) you’ll pay about £80£150 for your first box – less for suitcases – and £30-£90 for additional boxes.

TNT’S TOP TIP

Don’t expect the move home to be smooth sailing. It’ll take time for you to settle back in.

» Email your tips to reality check@tntmagazine.com

TNT online Check out tntmagazine.com/ leavingtheuk if you’re going, and tntmagazine.com/moving tolondon if you’ve just arrived.

JUST ARRIVED ACCOMMODATION There are Antipodeans and South Africans calling all parts of London home, but generally they tend to head west (Acton, Shepherd’s Bush, Fulham, Hammersmith), north (Dollis Hill, Kilburn, Willesden Green) or south (Clapham, Southfields, Tooting).

For listings see tntmagazine. com/accommodation.

Dossing Offer to chip in £5 a night minimum.

Hostels Expect to pay at least £10-£25 a night.

Sharing You can share a room for about £50 a week. A room

Getting a job doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Register with a couple of agencies, the cream of which advertise in TNT and at tntjobs.co.uk.

Most recruitment agencies handle specific sectors: IT, banking, finance, secretarial, legal, medical and teaching are the broad categories.

Make an appointment to see a consultant, and take your passport, CV and references with you. Some agencies will help you open a bank account.

NATIONAL INSURANCE You need a National Insurance (NI) number to work in the UK. Call 0845 600 0643 to make an appointment to apply for one.

Some NI contributions go into a State Second Pension (S2P). You can contract out of this and direct the money into a private pension fund instead.

You’ll need to do this before the end of the tax year or your contributions will be lost.

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RETURNING HOME

CHECKLIST

COMING & GOING

81

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TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION A South African supporter cheers on Bafana Bafana at the friendly match between South Africa

TRAVEL

and Guatemala at the Peter Mokaba stadium in Polokwane, ahead of the World Cup.

Photo by Gianluigi Guercia / AFP / Getty Images

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tntmagazine.com

PLAYING IT COOL Once England’s ugly duckling, Bristol is now quietly emerging as a hip city with trendy bars and an edgy arts scene WORDS DAMIAN HALL

Bristol ENGLAND

I

f ever there was a city that’s a cult religion, it’s Bristol. No one goes out of their way to tell you about the West Country’s most happening place. But if you mention the word – pronounced “Brizzle” – the initiated take a careful look around and beckon you closer. After being preached to recently, I decided to check it out for myself.

Graffiti artist: Banksy has left his mark on the city

tntmagazine.com

A NEW IDENTITY Bristol was a centre for the slave trade during colonial times. But when it was decided that having someone clean your toilet without paying them wasn’t very nice, the city went into decline.

As a tourist destination, Bristol has been overshadowed by the Georgian splendour of nearby Bath. But now the city is emerging, quietly triumphant,

with a new identity. Bristol is edgy and alternative, active and arty and above all, fiercely independent. Whisper it gently, but Bath’s little sister has grown up to be just as attractive, if not more so.

INNOVATIVE CITY Bristol is officially the UK’s first Cycling City (and the unofficial skateboarding capital) and it recently turned off its traffic lights for a day, as an experiment. Another UK first.

Good things have been happening here for a while. Internationally famous graffiti artist Banksy made a (pseudo-) name for himself in Bristol, and his often satirical art still adorns the city’s walls.

The ’90s trip-hop movement, spearheaded by artists Massive Attack, Portishead and Tricky, is a Bristol

SHORT BREAK NEED TO KNOW

Massive Attack spearheaded Bristol’s trip-hop scene

phenomenon, as is Mercury Prize-winning drum ’n’ bass pioneer Roni Size.

TRAVEL

WHEN TO GO Bristol can be visited year-round, but summer and spring are best for festivals.

GETTING THERE Bristol is about a twohour drive from London. Hire a car at easycar.com/tntmagazine and receive a 5 per cent discount. National Express runs buses hourly from London Victoria, which takes 2.5 hours. A train from Paddington takes two hours.

GETTING AROUND It’s easy to see the city on foot. Alternatively, join the locals and cycle around – rent wheels from Blackboy Hill Cycles (blackboycycles.co.uk).

GOING OUT A beer costs about £3.

ACCOMMODATION Bristol YHA (yha.org.uk) is on the waterfront and has beds from £16.

SEE visitbristol.co.uk.

85

ENGLAND

BEST OF THE FESTS

LONDON Bristol

■ BRISTOL FOOD AND WINE FAIR, JUL 2-4: ON THE WATER’S EDGE I arrive at Bristol Temple Meads station and head straight on to a barge to see the best of Bristol from the water. We journey through the Floating Harbour, pass tastefully restored sandstone warehouses and inviting eateries and alight at the Arnolfini, an arts centre that boasts some great free galleries, and a waterfront café.

Next, I hang out with the beautiful people of Clifton Village – Bristol’s Chelsea – and peruse Gloucester Road, claimed to be Britain’s last traditional high street (most shops are still independently owned). As I stroll up Brandon Hill, I take in the rewarding view of the city, which sinks into buxom green hills.

Bristol’s signature architectural site is the Clifton Suspension Bridge, stretching delicately across the plunging Avon Gorge. Free guided tours are available on weekends until November. Or plonk

An endless smorgasbord of tasty nibbles and posh plonk. Foodies can attend the chef masterclasses. See bristolwineandfoodfair.co.uk.

■ ST PAUL’S CARNIVAL, JUL 3: The city’s much-loved carnival celebrates Bristol’s African and Caribbean influence with music, dance and some very colourful costumes. See stpaulscarnival.co.uk.

■ BOOGIE FOR BRIZZLE, JUL 17: This festival showcases Bristol’s abundant home-grown talent; performers and live music abound. See visitbristol.co.uk.

Bristol’s harbour

your behind in the beer garden of the Prince Of Wales pub, and indulge in both a pint of cider and that classic Bristolian view.

■ HARBOUR FESTIVAL, JUL 30-AUG 1: Eight waterfront stages thump with an eclectic range of music, circus and dance, plus hundreds of boats. See bristolharbourfestival.co.uk.

■ BRISTOL INTERNATIONAL BALLOON

Getty Images, Mark Simmons

Drum ’n’ bass: Roni Size hails from Bristol

BAR HOPPING To really experience Bristol though, you need to either visit at festival time (see right) or hit the tiles. On the streets there’s a unique buzz, a complete lack of pretension, and a surprising friendliness.

After trawling the bars in Clifton, I decide on Thekla, a live music venue/ club on a floating wooden boat, where I dance like a frog in a blender. Rather fitting – it’s alternative and it’s on the water. Yep, I think I’m converted. Brizzle my nizzle.

FIESTA, AUG 12-15: Seeing more than 100 multi-coloured balloons floating into the sky is an extraordinary sight.

See bristolballoonfiesta.co.uk.

Bristol’s Balloon Fiesta

LATE DEALS

TRAVEL

UNDER £250

86

Two nights in Brussels with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk) is £149, including return Eurostar travel and three-star B&B accommodation. Quote: ‘BRULONPAC10’. Valid for travel until June 30.

A five-night break in Marrakesh is £183 with Lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6271), including flights and three-star B&B accommodation. Departs June 25.

Indulge in 150 varieties of beer at Antwerp’s Beer Passion Festival. Two nights is £193 with VFB Holidays (01452 716831; vfbholidays.co.uk). Includes B&B accommodation and ferry crossings. Departs June 25.

Budapest is £225 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk), including flights and three-star B&B accommodation. Quote: ‘BUDLONPAC1’. Valid for travel June 11–July 11. Offer ends June 30.

Spend the weekend in Normandy for £135 with Tracks Travel (0845 1300 936; tracks-travel.com), including return coach travel, overnight ferry travel from Portsmouth to Le Havre or Caen and one night’s accommodation.

Departs June 18.

DEAL OF THE WEEK

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DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

£250 - £500

OVER £500

Eight days in Egypt with Topdeck Tours (0845 257 5212; topdecktours.co.uk) is £323, including a four-star Nile cruise, accommodation, excursions, seven breakfasts, three lunches and three dinners. Quote: ‘TD10ADV06’. Departs June 20 and 27.

Seven nights in Rhodes is £272 with Lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6271), including all-inclusive accommodation and flights. Departs June 16.

A six-day tour of Jordan with On The Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com) is £449, including accommodation.

Excludes flights. Departs June 27.

A nine-day tour of Turkey with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com) is £429.

Includes four and five-star B&B and five dinners. Excludes flights.

Departs June 12, July 10 and 24.

A 17-day tour of Argentina and Brazil is £879 with STA Travel (0871 230 8512; statravel.co.uk), including accommodation. The tour departs Rio de Janeiro on June 24 and ends in Buenos Aires on July 10. Excludes flights.

Depart June 25 for a 12-day tour of America’s southern states with Jetsave (0871 664 0293; jetsave.com) for £1075. The trip visits New Orleans, Nashville and Memphis. Includes flights and accommodation.

See three Mediterranean countries in 10 days for £859 with Contiki (0845 075 0990; contiki.com). Trip includes Rome, Pompeii, Sorrento and Athens. Departs June 30.

See Venezuela on a 15-day tour for £1416 with Gap Adventures (0844 410 1030; gapadventures.com), including accommodation and some meals. Departs June 25.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa

Transfer fees from £7

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Getty Images, TNT Images

Two nights’ B&B in Paris is £199 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk).

Includes Eurostar and transfers. Departs June 11.

New Orleans

TRAVEL 87

TNT Weekender Bruges BELGIUM

Charming Bruges is picture perfect with its antique buildings and lovely canals.

A popular tourist destination that’s busy all year round, Bruges has been preserved to retain its medieval qualities, and offers storybook scenery and an endless supply of chocolate, mussels and beer.

HEADLINE ATTRACTION Bruges’ market square (the Markt) is framed by attractive, colourful buildings. Busy with tourists, the square is filled with outdoor restaurants and horse-drawn carts waiting for passengers to jump on board.

TNT Images

TRY THE LOCAL TIPPLE Belgium is renowned for its beers and you won’t be short of finding a place in which to drink them in Bruges. With a vast range of about 700 types including fruit-flavoured, chocolate and Trappist (brewed by monks), even non-beer lovers are sure to find a beer they like.

Worth a visit is Bruges’ oldest bar, Café Vlissinghe.

They’ve been serving drinks here for almost 500 years

– rumour has it that 17thcentury artist Rubens was a regular at the pub. The company hasn’t always been so savoury here, though. In the 1500s Belgium was experiencing a religious war and the bar’s publican, the leader of a rebel conspiracy, devised a plot to get a bunch of his fellow Protestants inside the city walls. His plan was discovered, and he was tortured and beheaded by a gang of locals.

CHOW DOWN The streets of Bruges are filled with tempting chocolate shops to satisfy any sweet craving. At the city’s restaurants you’ll find hearty meals, with thick sauces accompanying meaty dishes.

Waterzooi is a national favourite – a watery broth served with chicken or fish.

Seafood is also popular and mussels are readily available to order.

BEST OF THE REST The centrepiece of the city’s skyline is the 83m-high Belfort Tower, which was built in the 13th century. While the climb to the top can be tiring, it is well worth the effort as it offers gorgeous views. Heilig Bloed Basiliek (Basilica of the Holy Blood) is an eerie church, home to what is believed to be a vial containing a few drops of Christ’s blood.

AND A RANDOM FACT Belgium has the second highest suicide rate in the EU, so a few years ago the Bruges council decided to cheer everyone up by making them say hello to each other. Langestraat, the main road into Bruges town centre, became Hello Street. So warm up your vocal cords and get ready to say ‘hey’ to anyone you may pass. In French it’s ‘bonjour’, in Flemish it’s ‘goede middag’, but a cheery ‘hi’ should work just fine.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO You can enjoy Bruges at any time of year, but summer is best.

GETTING THERE Either fly or catch the Eurostar to Brussels where you can take a train to Bruges (about an hour away).

VISAS Australians and New Zealanders do not need a visa. South Africans need a Schengen visa.

CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.17 EUR. LANGUAGE Flemish and some French.

GETTING AROUND The best way to see Bruges is on foot.

GOING OUT A pint of beer is about €4.60.

ACCOMMODATION A bed in a hostel starts from ¤13, while a private room is from ¤22.

NEXT WEEK LISBON Bruges

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BRUSSELS

BELGIUM

For a full travel guide on visiting Belgium go to tntmagazine.com/travel

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GOING UNDERGROUND From hip bars to steamy hammams, grab a torch and see what lies beneath Málaga in Spain WORDS HEIDI FULLER-LOVE

Málaga SPAIN

T

here are plenty of grottos in Spain, but the country’s largest troglodyte population straddles a 100km stretch of rucked-up mountains near Málaga.

Tons of these rabbit holes have been recycled, which is why I’m headbanging to The Killers in a lavish disco ‘egg’ in Purullena, which once provided shelter for prehistoric man.

WHAT LIES BENEATH The next morning, my head aching from one glass too many of the local caramelflavoured alcohol ponche, I browse the cave’s shops, which sell strings of pimento and grotto-themed fridge magnets, then head for Guadix (main image) where 2000 people live underground.

Wandering on this square mile of

SHORT BREAK

CAVE DWELLERS After stopping off at the Mesón Calatrava, a real spit-and-sawdust joint tucked into a side street near Guadix’s 16th-century cathedral, where tapas are cheap and plentiful, I follow the picturesque road to Las Cuevas Al Jatib, just outside the town of Baza.

Set in a lunar landscape pin-cushioned with prickly pears, this cute hotelrestaurant has self-catering caves with cosy alcove beds and subterranean kitchens.

“We get a lot of backpackers on their way to, or from Granada, who come here for a couple of nights of luxury in between roughing it,” says owner Eloi.

If you don’t want to fork out €90 to stay in a cave, you can come here for the hotel’s hammam, a steamy, low-roofed grotto with two pools and piped music where it’s bliss to soak for an afternoon.

MADRID

SPAIN Málaga

TRAVEL

tussocks studded with man-high chimney pots, it’s hard to believe that there are people just beneath my feet watching TV or doing the washing up.

Following a narrow alley smelling of paella, I reach the Cave Museum, a bite-sized grotto packed with an eclectic muddle of earthenware pots, traditional costumes and tackle for slaughtering pigs.

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Dance the night away at a flamenco session in a cave

en route, I reach the region’s largest cave village, Huescar.

After strolling the cobbled streets, I head for the Cuevas Alcadima, a bar/ restaurant carved out of a hill overlooking the town, where I devour scrumptious shrimp and artichoke pizza.

That night I pitch my tent at the shaded recreation area down the road at Orce and splash about in the fuencaliente, a natural spring with waters of 21ºC. FLAMENCO FUN From here it’s a short drive to Granada, Driving higher into the Sierra de Baza which is studded with caves quarried mountain range, spotting griffon vultures out of the hillside beneath the magical 14th-century fortress, the Alhambra.

Granada’s Sacromonte cave district hit the headlines in the ’40s when Anthony Quinn, Ingrid Bergman and other Hollywood glitterati flocked here to watch wild-eyed gypsies dance flamenco.

There are plenty of touristy flamenco caves at the bottom of the hill, but it’s well worth climbing higher where you can see improvised flamenco sessions called juergas, A tradi tional underground hom e which are a lot more authentic.

PCL, Getty Images

If it’s cool to go underground in Málaga, there are plenty of hot sites above the ground in this seaside city where Picasso was born.

At Buenavista Palace, is the city’s Picasso Museum, which has an impressive collection of art while the Plaza de la Merced is home to the Picasso Foundation.

A trendy bar favoured by locals is

WHEN TO GO Málaga’s cool grottos are great places to escape to during the heat of Andalucia’s summer months.

GETTING THERE EasyJet (easyjet.com) and Ryanair (ryanair.com) fly direct to Málaga from London for about £48 return.

GETTING AROUND To explore these remote mountain villages, it is best to hire a car. See easycar.com/ tntmagazine where you can receive a 5 per cent discount.

VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa to visit Spain.

CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.17 EUR. LANGUAGE Spanish.

GOING OUT A bottle of the local San Miguel beer is ¤2-€3.

ACCOMMODATION A dorm bed at a hostel starts from €12, while a decent hotel room will set you back about €70 a night.

SEE andalucia.com.

Admire artwork by Picasso in his hometown

COMING UP FOR AIR OVERGROUND FUN IN MÁLAGA

NEED TO KNOW

El Pimpi, a noisy bodega where Antonio Banderas and his celebrity pals love to sip Málaga’s famous sweet wines.

Flamenco fans will enjoy the city’s new Flamenco Museum with its three floors of music-themed exhibits. Art lovers should make a beeline for the very hip Centro de Arte Contemporáneo de Málaga and mad professors will get a kick at science museum Centro de Ciencia Principia.

HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER GREETER AT THE GATE, ANGKOR WAT, CAMBODIA, Ed Babb, Johannesburg, South Africa Ed has captured this monkey perfectly as it squats by the paper money. The columns provide dramatic side lighting, illuminating the note and one side of the animal, and throwing everything else into darkness in the foreground.

Light spills into the background from both sides of the image, adding depth and context. The pose and lighting make the monkey appear very stern and imposing.

HOT TIP: Columns and doorways are great for controlled lighting during the day. Use these components to provide dramatic side lighting for portraits. » Ed wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £198 from Haggis Adventures (01315 579393; haggisadventures.com)

RUNNER-UP MUNDIAL, SCOTLAND Arnold Ochman, Miasteczko Slaskie, Poland Arnold’s sunset makes good use of a wide-angle lens to enhance the clouds and pebbles in the distance.

The perfectly round stone balanced on the rocky outcrop makes a great focal point and puts this scene in perspective.

This is a lovely landscape,

tntmagazine.com

full of texture and depth.

HOT TIP: A wide angle is great to use with even textures, such as pebbles and grass, to give the illusion of depth. The trick is to get close to the texture in the foreground. » Arnold wins a photography course from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses.org.uk) valued at £60

HOTSHOTS

HOLIDAY SNAPS

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT

THEME: CITYSCAPE Bird’s eye view of London by Leah Halliwell, Timaru, New Zealand

TRAVEL

Panoramic images are perfect for capturing sweeping scenes, such as cityscapes. Leah has taken a wonderful image of the Thames with a view from St Paul’s Cathedral. Panoramic photography is simply a type of format, so you don’t necessarily need a panoramic camera.

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WHY THIS WORKS: 1 The lighting is even across the whole panorama.

2 The bend in the river enhances the picture’s feeling of depth, which is emphasised by the sweeping format.

3 The dark cloud’s shape complements the curve of the river.

4 There is a good depth of field across the panorama.

5 The horizon is level – getting this right is crucial for panoramic shots.

HOT TIPS: 1 Create a panorama by cropping. Keep the main action in the centre of the frame for best results.

2 Always ensure there is enough interest across the entire scene.

3 Apply normal composition rules – level horizons, rule of thirds, focal points, etc.

4 If you intend to ‘stitch’ lots of images together afterwards, it is best to use a longer lens and take lots of overlapping shots. Be aware of changing light conditions and use a tripod if possible.

5 You can create an interesting panoramic

shot by deliberately taking images at many angles with a mix of lenses at different times in various lighting, and then placing the pictures all together for a cubist effect.

TNT online For details of how to enter go to tntmagazine.com/gallery

SPECIAL OFFERS Kumuka is offerin g up to 15% OFF tours until 13 June 2010 . Simply enter the promo code TNT 2010 when booking your tour online.

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TIPS Pamplona, Spain

READERS’ TIPS OFF THE RAILS

TRAVEL

Save money when OF travelling in Italy THTIEPWEEK by taking regional trains between cities rather than intercity ones. It takes a little longer, but the savings soon add up and the extra scenery is well worth it.

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Mike, via email

THE GREEN LIGHT

YOU ASKED FOR IT Tom Hall FROM LONELY PLANET

If you are visiting Shanghai in China, make sure that when you cross the street you wait for the green man to appear on the traffic light. My boyfriend and I made the mistake of crossing the road when it was clear, but on a red man.

A policeman whistled us down and fined us. It was embarrassing, especially as the locals like to gather around to watch the show.

Michelle, via email

My boyfriend and I have a wedding to go to in Karlstad in Sweden on the last weekend of July. We’re hoping to extend the trip by five days after the wedding. Do you have any helpful hints about where we should go during this time?

Nicki, via email

My friends and I want to go to Running of the Bulls this year, then travel straight from Pamplona to the Exit Festival in Serbia which starts on July 8. We can’t find any cheap travel options. Are we dreaming?

Tina Morris, via email

Q

Q

A

A

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WIN

Lonely Planet’s Tom Hall will give you the benefit of his infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com.

If he answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. TNT readers can get 20 per cent off all Lonely Planet guides valued at more than £12.99. Enter promotional code PTNT01 at shop.lonelyplanet.com.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Getty Images

I passed through this part of the world on my way to Oslo in Norway once. My boss had an outbreak of eco-consciousness and said I could only speak at the event I’d been asked to attend if I didn’t fly. Taking him at his word I spread the journey out over a few days and southern Sweden was one of the highlights.

It’s a land of forests, lakes and cute small towns. Aside from Gothenburg it’s not party HQ, so you should have a little time there lest you think Sweden is too quiet. You could do worse than by ignoring the west coast and instead travel further north to Lake Siljan, a lovely body of water surrounded by attractive villages. After a couple of days here, double back and aim for Örebro for half a day, where there’s a castle and a gorgeous park, before hitting the west coast. Stay overnight in Gothenburg for an evening in a big city and then head north to the Bohuslän coast. This rocky stretch of waterfront is a pretty place to spend a few days exploring.

You’ll need a car to do all this but it will be a very lovely, and very different, holiday.

Right, so the Festival of San Fermín, where you go and get beered up and chased by angry animals far larger and faster than you, has its opening ceremony at noon on July 6, followed by the first run on the morning of July 7. At 8.20pm on that same day there is a flight from Bilbao (160km from Pamplona, a 90-minute bus ride away) to Madrid with Spanair (spanair.com).

You’ll need to doss down in Madrid Airport for the night before catching an early flight on July 8 to Belgrade in Serbia, from where you can make your way to Novi Sad for the Exit Festival. You should get there in good time for the main bands that evening. So this is possible, but whether you’re lunatic enough to try it is another thing.

This sounds like something I’d do, and this is what will happen: you’ll go for it, fret about your transport connections, argue with your fellow travellers and arrive exhausted. The next day you’ll think the whole thing is hilarious, as will everyone you meet. You’ll be the toast of Serbia. It is your duty to do this and then tell us all how it went.

Email your words of wisdom to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

TRAVEL NEWS

Film boosts trips to NYC

Throw in a coin or two: people will get into debt to go on holiday

TNTMAGAZINE.COM MOST POPULAR DESTINATIONS 1 Croatia 2 England 3 Spain 4 Turkey 5 Italy

HOTTEST KEYWORDS ON TNTMAGAZINE.COM/TOURSEARCH

1 Croatia 2 Egypt 3 Europe 4 Italy 5 Oktoberfest powered by

FREE ONLINE GUIDES Go to tntmagazine.com/ travel for travel guides on more than 170 destinations.

TRAVEL

Flight sales to New York City increased by 21 per cent between January and May, thanks to the anticipated release of much-hyped movie Sex And The City 2, STA Travel revealed. The travel agency has also seen a 22 per cent rise in sales of tickets to the Sex And The City tour in the Big Apple.

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TRAVEL A TOP PRIORITY One third of people are prepared to get into debt to fund a holiday, according to a Lonely Planet survey.

Lack of money is not a barrier to travelling for most people, with 35 per cent of respondents saying they would put a trip on a credit card and 24 per cent revealing that they would sell items to raise money. Meanwhile, 10 per cent would even take out a loan or overdraft to get away from it all.

The cultural sights of a country are one of the top things that people are interested in experiencing when visiting another country, followed by scenery and nature, and then food and drink. And bad news for holiday romances – a mere 12 per cent feel that love is important on their trip.

A total of 95 per cent say that seeing new

Getty Images, TNT Images

Non-Eurozone hotspots Turkey, Egypt and Croatia have become hotspots for travellers, according to the latest currency order figures from foreign exchange specialist ICE. Non-Eurozone destinations are giving those with sterling more value for their money.

“Travellers are finding that the pound goes further in the likes of Turkey and Croatia,” says ICE head of marketing Joanna Williams.

The Turkish lira is the third most ordered currency,

Egypt

compared with being sixth this time last year. The Croatian kuna has jumped from 16th place in the survey, to fifth place. The Egyptian pound is this year’s sixth most ordered currency. Volcano spotters pushed the Icelandic krona up to 15th place in the list.

sights and attractions was important to them when taking a trip, while only 57 per cent cited relaxation as being an essential part of their holiday.

When it comes to travel concerns, 42 per cent are worried they will be ripped off on holiday, while 33 per cent fear crime and 30 per cent are wary of scams. But 60 per cent are just anxious that they will not have time to see and do everything.

Lonely Planet travel editor and TNT columnist Tom Hall says: “The survey really shows how keen travellers are to see new places and experience new cultures.”

Lonely Planet carried out the survey to coincide with the launch of its new guidebook series, Discover, for people seeking highlightsbased guides.

WIN TRAVEL Scoop six months of travel for two with On The Go Tours by entering an online competition called Get Rid of Me, where you have to confess your sins. The public will vote for their favourite revelation and the winner will score a trip of a lifetime plus spending money. See page 101 for the full lowdown.

NEW FLIGHTS Tunisair has launched a twice-weekly service from London Gatwick to Djerba in southern Tunisia. Flights

start from £220 return. See tunisair.com.

Meanwhile, EasyJet is launching a route from Gatwick to Gothenburg on September 6. Tickets went on sale last week and start from £29.99 one way, including taxes. See easyjet.com.

FINLAND GUIDE Rough Guides has published a new guide to Finland this month. The book includes information about the country’s hip cities, stunning national parks and the Midnight Sun.

tntmagazine.com

ON THE ROAD

WORDS TOM STURROCK

WOMAD

TRAVEL

Wiltshire, England July 23-25 The English leg is the flagship of a global festival network established by world music enthusiasts. Performers from Mali and Mongolia, and pretty much everywhere in between, are at the show.

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» womad.org

LOCK IT IN EDINBURGH FESTIVALS Edinburgh, Scotland Aug 6-Sep 5, 2010 edfringe.com; eif.co.uk

LA TOMATINA Buñol, Spain Aug 25, 2010 latomatina.es

BOG SNORKELLING LLanwrtyd Wells, Wales Aug 30, 2010 green-events.co.uk

HEIVA PAPE’ETE, TAHITI WHAT: It’s a celebration of

French Polynesia’s indigenous culture, where the air is thick with music and the streets brim with eye-popping costumes – you can also try your hand at scaling a palm tree to crack open a coconut.

WHERE: To’ata Square in Pape’ete, in the northwest corner of Tahiti.

WHEN: July 8-23.

WHY: Traditionally, Heiva was a celebration of life or a preparation for war. Now

it’s a party and an excuse to get decked out in feathers.

DO IT BECAUSE: You can frock up with hibiscus garlands and tiara flowers and join in the dancing, reminiscent of the Maori haka.

HOW MUCH: Free to attend.

» tahiti-tourisme.com

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

BURNING MAN Nevada, US Aug 30-Sep 6, 2010 burningman.com

FESTIVAL OF THE NEARDEATH EXPERIENCE Galicia, Spain Last week of July Participants jump into a coffin and are taken to the local church to show gratitude for still being alive – after which the celebrations kick off with brass bands and fireworks.

» turgalicia.es

Where in the world?

HISTORIC REGATTA Venice, Italy Sep 5, 2010 comune.venezia.it; veniceconnected.com

OKTOBERFEST Munich, Germany Sep 18-Oct 4, 2010 oktoberfest.de/en

THE TRAVELLER …

Melissa Dunn, 25, from Brisbane, Australia Where’s your favourite place in the UK?

Edinburgh. It’s such a cool city with a great vibe. And it has all that history to go with it.

What’s your favourite country?

Morocco. It was incredible camping in the desert to the sound of the Berbers playing music.

The weirdest food you’ve eaten?

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £90. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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Getty Images, TNT Images

Rebecca Vella from Brisbane, Australia, at Cavo Greco in Protaras, Cyprus

A dog bun in Vietnam.

I didn’t realise what it was until after I’d eaten it, when I read the English translation – it tasted like pork.

TOP FIVE

TNT FAVES: QUIRKY CRASHPADS

THE INSIDER BOB ATKINSON, TRAVEL EXPERT, TRAVELSUPERMARKET.COM

TIME TRAVEL WHAT: Forget retro camping and try sleeping out circa 600BC by staying in Bodrifty Roundhouse in Mousehole, Cornwall. This is, however, cosseted time travel as you will sleep in a four-poster bed under Egyptian cotton sheets.

The roundhouse is within easy reach of lush, green moors and stunning beaches.

THE DAMAGE: £125 a night (sleeps two).

BOOK IT: canopyandstars.co.uk.

1

TRAVEL

The best part of my job is … being able to use my years of experience to offer money and timesaving advice and tips to our customers.

My favourite city in the UK is … Edinburgh, as it has great history and buildings, the best New Year's event in the UK, hearty food and whisky.

My favourite place in the world is … a small beach on the Costa Blanca near Javea in Spain – it’s my secret and the place I have my happiest memories of. And no, I’m not telling you the name! I also just got back from the Atlas Mountains in Morocco, where I fell in love with the food and people.

My most memorable travel experience was … my first trip out of Europe to cruise the Nile in Egypt. It opened up my appetite for exploring and learning about different cultures.

The next destinations on my travel wishlist are …

Chile and Argentina.

My top travel tip is ... carry out careful research before booking your trip because it saves you time and money in the long run.

I always pack … my iPod, sunglasses, several plastic bags and a good moisturiser.

JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE ON THESE TRAVEL OPTIONS

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GYPSY LIFE WHAT: Feel close to nature by staying in a lovingly restored gypsy caravan in an unspoiled corner of Suffolk.

This magical wagon is designed only for sleeping as gypsies used to spend most of the time outdoors until the arrival of modern caravans.

THE DAMAGE: £95 per couple/ single person for two nights.

BOOK IT: gypsycaravan.org.uk.

2

PEAS IN A POD WHAT: Insulated with sheep’s wool, pods are the latest way to ‘glamp’. Sleeping up to four, the pods can be found in wilderness areas across the UK. THE DAMAGE: £37-£48 for one night.

BOOK IT: campingand caravanningclub.co.uk/ camping pods.

3

FLOAT LIKE A BOAT WHAT: The newly-built Arkabarka Hostel is a floating house on the River Danube in the Serbian capital of Belgrade. The funky hostel is next to a central park, a favourite haunt for rollerbladers and cyclists.

THE DAMAGE: From £13 a night.

BOOK IT: hostelworld.com

4

LOCK-UP WHAT: Spend the night behind bars at Hostel Celica in Ljubljana, Slovenia – a former military prison.

Rooms resemble plush prison cells, but you’re free to explore the city’s galleries and lively nightlife.

THE DAMAGE: From £16 a night.

BOOK IT: hostelworld.com

5

tntmagazine.com

ARE WE THERE,

BIG TRIP Everest Base Camp NEPAL

YETI? Get your hiking boots on for one of the world’s most spectacular treks WORDS DAMIAN HALL

ROCK STAR Before I embarked on the Everest Base Camp (EBC) trek, I assumed the world’s biggest rock star – shared jointly by Nepal and Tibet – was the greatest, the most beautiful, the most … everything. But it isn’t. Over a week or so, I saw mountains with more charisma, more enigma and more heartbreaking splendour – especially the graceful, double-headed Mt Ama Dablam, most trekkers’ favourite. Everest, by contrast, is a big, bald, black monster.

Mt Everest “ is a big, bald,

black monster

”

DO IT YOURSELF Although your back and the local economy will thank you for them, you don’t need guides or porters to do the EBC trek. Both are ubiquitous and affordable – do your research to ensure you get quality, though – but with a guidebook and a map it’s simple enough without hired help. You can’t get seriously lost; you’re just following a valley.

ROUND THE CAMP FIRE I began the trek in Lukla, a half-hour flight (or a seven-day hike) from Kathmandu. Villages and welcoming teahouses dot the trail at regular intervals, offering small twin-bed rooms, meals and socialising around yak dung fires at night.

A bed, a mountainous plate of traditional dal bhat (rice, vegetables and soup) brekkie and a flask of hot chocolate costs less than £10 a night.

In Tengboche I had million dollar

tntmagazine.com

TRAVEL

T

here’s no mistaking it – you’re ugly.

You are one ugly mother-flipper.

I was finally as close as I would probably ever get to the highest and therefore most famous peak in the world and all the mountain brought to mind was the rippling excess of Jabba the Hutt.

Mt Everest stands at an unrivalled 8848m high. As an armchair mountaineer, I spent more of my teenage years ogling pictures of Everest – Chomolungma to Tibetans, Sagarmatha to the Nepalese – than I did posters of Natalie Imbruglia or Monica Bellucci.

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NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Spring (March-April) and autumn (October-November) are best for trekking.

GETTING THERE Fly direct from London Heathrow to Kathmandu from around £514. Jet Airways (jetairways.com) is usually cheapest.

GETTING AROUND Nepal has a cheap and regular bus service but there are bad roads and frequent strikes. Leave a few days free, especially around your flights.

VISAS All visitors need a visa; available on arrival in Nepal – bring two photos and US$30 for a 30-day visa. Extensions are available.

CURRENCY Nepal Rupees (NPR). 1 GBP = 107 NPR. LANGUAGE Nepalese, but most people working in the tourist industry speak English.

GOING OUT A beer is about 150 rupees.

ACCOMMODATION A basic room with a shared bathroom is 300-600 rupees a night. It’s about 200 rupees for a room in a teahouse.

SEE welcomenepal.com

Take your time to appreciate stunning scenery

bedroom views of Mt Everest for about £2, though the monastery gongs at 6am made it clear why the room’s price was so competitive.

TIBET NEPAL KATHMANDU

p

Mt Everest

INDIA

Chitwan National Park

Annapurna

THE BEST OF NEPAL A HORNY ISSUE

QUIET TIME

Ride elephants and spot one-horned rhinos and tigers in Chitwan National Park. See a different side of Nepal in the fertile lowlands bordering India.

Find inner peace – or at least do a spot of yoga – in the Kathmandu Valley, which has many retreat centres.

POKARA-MARKED SIGHTSEEING See the sights in Kathmandu and the Kathmandu Valley, from medieval Bhaktapur to the Boudha Stupa.

Pokara is worth visiting in its own right.

Watch the peaks of the Annapurna Massif turn pink at sunset, after a day spent boating on the lake.

See endangered Asian elephants in Nepal

TAKE IT SLOW Unless you’re worried about yetis – most locals don’t believe in them but my map marked the site of a 1974 ‘yeti attack’ – the biggest challenge is altitude. Base Camp itself is at 5200m and it takes 14-16 days to complete the walk safely, allowing for full acclimatisation. The mantra is, ‘don’t go too high too fast’.

I ascended so slowly that snails mocked as they overtook me. I’d amble for four or five hours each day, stopping at restaurants for leisurely lunches, usually noodles and

The mantra “ is, ‘don’t go too high too fast’ ” local vegetables, swapping stories with fellow trekkers and locals alike. As a fullsteam-ahead kind of chap, it was frustrating holding myself back on acclimatisation days, which usually involved short walks, but the scenery made up for it.

First the landscape comprised steep but inviting green valleys, rumbling rivers and Indiana Jones-style swing bridges, with teasing glimpses of mountain peaks in the distance. Surprisingly, pretty, highaltitude tundra took over before being subsumed by rubble from epic glaciers, with the Himalayas towering over me.

Getty Images

TRIALS OF THE TRAIL Comforting white Buddhist stupas and prayer wheels dotted the route. Fluttering

BIG TRIP THE WORLD’S BEST TREKS ANNAPURNA CIRCUIT, NEPAL

NEXT WEEK: EGYPT

Revel in Egypt’s ancient treasures

Getty Images, Damian Hall

DANGERS OF ALTITUDE SICKNESS

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APPALACHIAN TRAIL, US Many people take it in stages over years to complete this route, which is 3500km long. Stretching from Georgia to Maine, this one’s as much about endurance – and bear-dodging – as it is getting a scenic hit.

INCA TRAIL, PERU

Full moon over Mt Everest

TNT online For a full travel guide on making a journey to the Himalayas go to tntmagazine.com/travel

TOO H IGH TOO FAST The Everest Base Camp trek isn’t long in kilometres, but it’s long on ascent, meaning the threat of altitude sickness is real. Altitude sickness is the umbrella term for high-altitude pulmonary oedema and high-altitude cerebral oedema, both of which can kill you.

Some are more susceptible to problems than others, yet little is known about why. Around three foreign trekkers come a cropper in the Khumbu (Everest) region each year. Such scenarios are entirely preventable, however, if symptoms – headache, loss of appetite, nausea

TONGARIRO NORTHERN CIRCUIT, NEW ZEALAND Everyone talks about the Routeburn and Milford Tracks in South Island’s fiordland but this one is the more unusual. This backdrop for Mordor in those orc-slaying films is all volcanic rock, steaming sulphur and glowing pools.

Buddhist prayer flags made a colourful ascent, with clanging yak bells from bovine trains providing a soundtrack.

Aside from the yaks, yetis and threat of altitude problems, another challenge was the flight from Kathmandu to Lukla: have you ever seen a runway that goes uphill and turns at a right angle?

But the trail’s trials made it all the more worthwhile. I’ve been lucky enough to trek most of the famous hikes in Australia, New Zealand and Latin America but this one’s the best.

EPIC PEAKS Everest was more monstrous than I had anticipated, but no less mesmerising.

Sitting atop Mt Kala Pattar (5545m), gawping spellbound at the silverback, I had the epic Khumbu Glacier galloping away beneath me and a ring of perfect, only slightly smaller, snow-capped Himalayan peaks around me. If Everest is Jabba the Hutt, then I was surrounded by Princess Leias. I felt like a teenager again.

TRAVEL

Epic peaks make this trail one you’ll never forget

Debate rages as to which Nepal trek is best, Everest Base Camp or the Annapurna Circuit. The Annapurna Circuit won’t take you as close to the mountains but you don’t need a flight in or to worry much about altitude sickness. The full circuit takes about 20 days.

and fatigue – are treated. Don’t take paracetamol as it can mask the symptoms. It’s this simple: if you feel bad, don’t go any higher. If symptoms persist or worsen, head back down.

A quick descent usually leads to a quick recovery, and trekkers can often go on to complete the hike after a couple of extra days acclimatising.

Diamox – available from your doctor – can be taken in advance to fend off altitude problems, or carried as an emergency measure, though it’s not as effective as simply descending. With this trek, the safest way is to be patient and take your time.

Sure, it gets crowded at Machu Picchu, the trail’s end, and, yes, having to hire guides and porters doesn’t wash well with seasoned trekkers but it’s still worth it. Follow ancient roads through jungles, around mountains and past spectacular Inca ruins. While you’re there, nip down to Patagonia and try Chile’s Torres del Paine National Park.

COAST TO COAST, UK Starting at Cumbria’s St Bees and ending at Yorkshire’s Robin Hood’s Bay, this 300km trail showcases the best of English scenery, taking in the Lake District, the Pennines and North York Dales, while staying close to villages, cosy pubs and B&Bs. It’s best in August to see the Moors turn purple.

Alternatively, try the 1000km South West Coast Path.

Everest not enough?

Do the Inca Trail

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101 TOURS

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107 TOURS

EUROCAMPING: SPACIOUS TENTS, AMAZING MEALS AND CAMPSITES

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EUROCLUB: HOSTELS TO HOTELS, CASTLES AND YACHTS

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Guaranteed departures No single supplements Arrival & departure transfers Xmas & New Year tours Best value packed tours Awesome, realistic prices

xmas and new years Egypt – Festive Egyptian Express & Festive Pyramids & Beaches Morocco – Surf in the New Year, Moroccan Xmas Capers Russia – Xmas in Russia, New Years in Russia Scotland – Hogmanay in Edinburgh

Call 020 7471 6400 for a brochure today Check out www.thegobus.com tntmagazine.com

109 TOURS

Egyptian Express tour PLUS 5 night stay in 3 star centrally located hotel in Dahab on the Red Sea: AC, TV and swimming pool, learn to dive packages avail.

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TRAVEL

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TRAVEL 111 TOURS tntmagazine.com

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114

Get over it...

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VERLANDtours are quite simply the best and most affordable way to discover AFRICA, SOUTH AMERICA or THE MIDDLE EAST. Travelling onboard Kumuka's purpose built vehicles with a maximum group size of 20 people, it becomes so much easier to interact with the locals and minimise our impact on the environment. If you have a healthy appetite for adventure then jump aboard one of our big blue trucks today!

Ô Widest choice of overland Ô One Price No Kitty or and small group tours local payments Ô No credit card Surcharges Ô Book Online anytime Ô We operate our own tours

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TICK EGYPT OFF YOUR LIST! TRAVEL

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LA TOMATINA THE WORLD’S BIGGEST FOOD FIGHT! ■ La Tom-Ibiza Combo Tours £319 ■ Barca + La Tom Double £249 ■ Beach Camping Package £139 ■ City Centre Hostels/Hotels £169

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TRAVEL SOVIET STYLE

117 TOURS

&

TRAVEL

RUSSIA TRANS-SIBERIAN RAILWAY

Go behind the Iron Curtain and discover pukka Russia

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TRAVEL TOURS

118

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VENTURE INTO THE WILDERNESS! TRAVEL

AFRICA MOROCCO

119 TOURS

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AFRICA Wildlife, scenery, culture & adrenaline!

£295 Gorillas in the Mist £310 Elephants & Falls £425 Gorilla & Game Trek £495 Wildlife Express £555 Kilimanjaro Climb £750 Down Africa Way £895 BIG FIVE Explorer £895 Kenya to Cape £1095 The Big Overlander £1195 Great African Expedition 6 DAYS

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Endless canals, bustling nightlife, the red-light district. This tour takes you on a sightseeing tour of Amsterdam and a visit to Brugge on the way home. Tour includes 2 nights hotel accommodation with breakfasts, 3 course dinners & free bar included! Return coach & ferry travel, visit to a cheese & clog factory & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager.

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Isle of Wight Cotswolds York by train A day in Wales York by train Cambridge A day in Wales Stonehenge private viewing evening

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chefs

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PROFESSIONAL CHEF DE PARTIES & ABOVE REQUIRED

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Casual/ Freelance and Permanent Chef De Parties Needed for Event Caterers/4-5 Star Hotels/Restaurants. £9 - £15 per hour ¸Ltd Company and Self Employed Welcome ¸Weekly Pay ¸Varied Hours ¸Ongoing Work CV, Level 2 Hyg Cert.

Legality to Work Ess. Phone 0203 142 7117 Email: oliver@heatlondon.com

www.heatlondon.com

sales / marketing Top Telesales Sport Sponsorship company. Rugby League/Rugby Union/Cricket. To sell Sponsorship/Hospitality. YOU MUST BE HIGHLY MOTIVATED, HARD WORKING/CONFIDENT/RELIABLE. Good telephone voice. Fulham Office. Call Tracy

020 7183 7314

Advertising Sales

07811 107 126 www.rugbyleague.com www.worldsportscorps.com

YOU COULD EARN AN ABOVE-AVERAGE INCOME THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR

139

while you travel the globe or work independently from home.

Self employed, full training provided contact Susan Stewart:

020 8241 6590 0781 272 8177 stewart.suse@gmail.com Skype: britannia19

£1000 per week p[us Work in our friendly Central London office selling space in our range of professional publicatons.

We need two people who have successful sales experience, a good speaking voice and the desire to earn.

Call Fergus Mee on 020 7454 7500 fmee@setform.com www.setform.com

office

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(LONDON) £23K PER YEAR

Make going out cheaper tntmagazine.com/lbb

Please email your CV or questions to angus.white@inspirationaldg.com

FOOD LITTLE BLACK BOOK

general

SALES ADMINISTRATOR

BUTCHER required for busy shop in North West London. 5 Day Week.

Please call 020 8969 5469 for more info.

With experience to assist in all areas of sales & marketing.

Self management and good telephone skills essential.

Software & Comm’s Co - Hoxton

Tel 020 7739 8060

general employment

Immediate Start £7.00 p/h 1.00pm – 9.00 pm Mon to Fri Calling existing clients Lovely environment to work Nr Liverpool St London

ADMIN ASSISTANT

Fantastic opportunity within a thriving leadership development company in London.

Strong Microsoft office skills as well as experience in designing and producing documents are essential. You should be a dynamic, proactive and flexible individual with excellent communication skills both written and oral.

FREE

office

Call Terri Famous for our beautiful dancers and exclusive venue.

Full Time & Part Time positions available. Full Training Given. All Dancers earn a great living. Come & join us.

Call Suzanne

020 7439 3558 17-19 Great Windmill St, Piccadilly, London W1

ESCORTS WANTED 0208 577 7713 • 0207 439 2223 01923 630 621 • 01483 538 151 Northern Star Escorts are the South East’s most successful Visiting Escort & Massage Service, top earnings for top people, no experience necessary, all nationalities welcome, you may be petit, slim or busty, you may be small or tall, average looks or stunning – the fact is we have a vast well vetted client base including a high proportion of high nett worth individuals keen to meet new faces. Full security service, transport to and from work (and interview), we’re open 7 days – 24hrs. You may have just a short term agenda or thinking medium to long term, whatever your needs we can work with you to achieve them! Call now for further information or an immediate interview!

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general employment

140

WANT TO EARN IN EXCESS OF

£5000

FOR SUMMER? We have a few places available during June and July for people looking to earn quick cash over the summer period.

Specialising in promotions we provide full training to all successful applicants.

Please call Sue on 075975 37055 to arrange an interview.

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WORK EARN LIVE & TRAVEL

We’re looking for a group of 18 – 30’s to join our expanding team during the our busiest time of the year – summer! We promote for one of Europe’s largest extreme sports companies.

Successful applicants need to be fun, outgoing and enthusiastic to join our team. No experience necessary, we provide full training.

Other perks include: ¸ Weekly pay ¸ Flexible working hours (perfect for travelling ) ¸ Live-in positions ¸ Full, comprehensive training ¸ Free Friday night drinks, and ¸ The opportunity to meet great new people.

We have fantastic all-expenses-paid travel incentives to Europe, the 2010/2011 trips include: St. Patrick’s Day in Ireland, Running of the Bulls in Spain, and Beer Fest in Germany.

Sound too good to be true?

Call Rebecca on 07716 376 408 to arrange a time to meet one of our Regional Managers.

general employment

visa services

SKYLITE ENSURED OPEN DAY 40 x TELESALES ADVISORS WANTED!!!

CLASSIFIEDS

We have 20 new FULL TIME VACANCIES for Telesales Executives and 20 SATURDAY and SUNDAY shifts. If you have a bubbly personality and would like to join an exciting diverse sales team, then JOIN US! Job responsibilities involve the sale of warranties via outbound telephone campaigns directed at satellite television users (Sky subscribers). Basic product with uncapped commission benefits, minimal training needed. Candidates must be able to make an immediate start.

• Must have 3 Months Experience in Similar Environment.

• Must have excellent communication and organisational skills.

• Outbound telesales experience would be an added advantage.

Full Time hours will be 35 hrs on a shift pattern between the hours of 09:00 and 21:00 Monday to Friday.

Saturday and Sunday will be 10am till 6pm on both days.(Applicants must be available to work both days). Students and second job applicants are welcome.

Basic salary structure starts at £7.50 per hour PLUS COMMISSION (up to £22.50 per hour commission included). Basic salary increases and wage packages operate on a subject to performance basis.

To apply, please email hr@skylite-ensured.co.uk or skyliteensured@yahoo.co.uk or come to our open day on Saturday 12th June 2010 from 10:00 till 17:00 at the following address: SKYLITE ENSURED 3rd Floor Windsor House 1270 London Road Norbury London, SW16 4DH Please bring your passport or drivers license and one proof of address to the open day.

141

Career Cultivation

Officee O

Gardeners & Landscapers If you’re experienced in hard and soft landscaping R Retai Retail

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Contact Jeremy at: Tel: 020 7242 9962 Fax: 020 7405 5542 Email: jeremy@target-jobs.com www.target-jobs.com

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thevisaoffice IMMIGRATION ADVISERS

F/T Shop Assistant Required for Beatles/Rock shop in Baker St. Admin/Computer skills an advantage.

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DOCUMENT AND APPLICATION CHECK AND CONSULTATIONS

BY APPOINTMENT ONLY MONDAY – FRIDAY • Points Based System Tiers 1,2,4 and 5 • Entry clearance • Indefinite Leave to Remain • Naturalisation • Marriage • Civil • Un-married • Ancestry • Dependent/s • Extensions • Elderly Dependent relative/s

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trades + labour

trades + labour

email: enquiries@carnabystreetdentist.co.uk

Nr. Oxford Circus tube

WANTED HIGHLY SKILLED & EXPERIENCED SITE MANAGERS, CARPENTERS, PAINTERS, LABOURERS & DRYLINERS. Please send your C.V. including copies of CIS card, CSCS card and any Trade Certificates to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

WANTED FULLY QUALIFIED QUANTITY SURVEYORS REQUIRED MUST HAVE AT LEAST 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN COMMERCIAL AND SHOP FIT OUT. Please send your C.V including a covering letter to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

Joiners/hardwood fixers required for prestigious fit out projects in Mayfair central London for 1-2 months. Suitable experiences of working on relevant fit out projects is required. ¢ CSCS cards needed ¢ References needed To register interest email: ral.london@rullion.co.uk Or Call 0207 397 6515 Or arrange to come and see us at: Rullion Alltrades Ltd, 10-13 Lovat Lane, London, EC3R 8DN (nr Monument tube)

To advertise

for sale/hire

020 7341 6767

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INTERNATIONAL CLAIRVOYANT SPIRITUAL HEALER Mr Malik is a specialist in bringing back love & relationships plus advising on court cases.

He can also give advice on sexual problems, exams careers/business & immigration.

CALL MALIK: 07506 907319 or 0208 551 2721

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tax services

142

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tntmagazine.com 30/03/2010 13:41

ACCOMMODATION 144

renting | sharing | short lets | crash pads | hostels

accommodation

JAMES HOTEL Sgls, Dbls, Tpls.

Colour TV. Reasonable rates, near Earls Court Station. 21 Longridge Rd. Ph 020 7373 7907

tntmagazine.com/accommodation Whatever type of accommodation you’re looking for you can find it here, and loads more at tntmagazine.com/accommodation.

To advertise your property call 020 7341 6767 AWESOME ACCOMODATION, in East London on the Central Line..

Double rooms available, Lounge, Digital TV, 2 Bathrooms. £80pw All Inclusive. Call 07880616467.

CANADA WATER House share.

Double Room £475pm, All inclusive Sky, Internet, cleaner ph. call 07779106374.

hostels

renting VERY LOW COST ACCOMMODATION £46.00 P.W Great opportunity live in a beautiful household providing minimum support to an older gentleman who lives in Marble Arch. Mr J is quite active but would love some support and companionship during the week. Also Mr H who lives centrally near Finchley Rd he would appreciate help with ordinary everyday tasks like shopping, cooking. Mrs G who lives in Hampstead would like support with light housework and shopping. We do have a wide variety of homeshare placements waiting to be filled right across London.

Phone Cathy or Thomas on 02070173425, 02070173435 or 08452930449 (low rate) For more details:

HOLIDAY HOUSE HOTEL 47-48 Leinster Gardens, London W2 3AT 5 Minutes Walk from Bayswater & Queensway Tube Ph: 0207 402 3010 Fax: 0207 402 3538

Single Rooms: £130pw £25pp daily Double Rooms: £160 week £30.00 daily For 2 persons Triple Rooms: £65pppw £13.00pp daily Quad Rooms: £60pppw £12.00pp daily Sharing room: £55pppw £11.00pp daily All rooms recently decorated Studio flats available monthly contracts Facilities: Internet,TV lounge, kitchens, 24 hour reception, hot water/heating, laundry

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hostels / hotels The Queen Elizabeth Hostel Hostel Fulham (6 minute walk from Fulham Broadway station)

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LONDON BRIDGE | TOWER BRIDGE | CANARY WHARF We are a professional house share management company designed to fulfil all needs of antipodeans in the UK. We offer: Stunning Houses, Fantastic Locations, Amazing Flexibility. From £70 p/w all inclusive.

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• Dbl Room £200pw • Ensuites £250pw • Shares £350pcm • Singles from £600pcm • Double Rooms from £650 • Ensuites from £800 All rooms fully furnished, close to Fulham Broadway (Zone 2 District Line), WIFI, flexible contract.

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Facilities: TV, Lounge, Kitchen, Internet access, Hot showers & Laundry.

Earls Court Gardens Hotel www.earlscourtgardenshotel.co.uk Daily

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Single (B)

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£175.00

Double/Twin (B)

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£245.00

Triple (B)

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£300.00

Tel: 020 8563 8692 Fax: 020 8741 7694

SINGLE ROOMS £125pw/£25 daily SHARING ROOM £55pppw/£11pp daily TWIN & DOUBLE ROOM £75pppw/£15pp daily TRIPLE £65pppw/£13pp daily QUADS £60pppw/£12pp daily Facilities: Sky TV Lounge 24 Hour Reception Internet Access • Kitchens Hot Showers • Laundry

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Please call: 07515170505

Room

(2 min walk from bus/tube Station)

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THE HOUSE SHARE SPECIALIST

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DOVER CASTLE HOSTEL & FLATSHARES LONDON BRIDGE Dorm beds from £10pn.

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To advertise here call the sales team 020 7341 6767

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An encore performance from Craigy Love: We met

146

at the Walkie on the Bank Holiday Sunday. I was the blonde wearing the fluoro hat with the ‘nice rack’.

Had an amazing night!

Your Top Gun impression was a piece of thigh wetting magic. Unfortunately, I had to leave while you were busy serenading the porcelain princess. I’d be keen to show you that I haven’t lost that loving feeling (my friend is also keen on your backup Top Gun singer who didn’t know the lyrics. I think his name was Roche). Email sarah.sheridan7@gmail.com.

Jessica: The past 16 months have been absolutely amazing. All the adventures we have had together; the good, the bad. Can’t wait for the next chapter of our lives together to begin. Don’t have too much fun without me. I will be just a phone call away. Time will go quick.

I’m gonna miss you. Love you. Scott Emma at the London Sevens on Sunday, May 23 I was

blown away by your bright yellow dress and your choice of Batman glasses.

We were both part of the ‘wigs and yellow group’.

I was surprised that we both live in the same area of London, have the same job (designer) and come from the same country (NZ).

I really want to find out if we have anything else in common. Please email commonyellow@gmail.com.

Moffo and Tommo: It was great to have you back in

Sarah and James:

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com

London. Don’t be strangers!

Come back any time you like and we’ll have another barbecue – London-style with the rain pouring down and us rugged up in our fleeces and jerseys. Miss you geezers, come back soon. Tranter.

Mickey: The hole in the wall hasn’t been the same since you left. It’s no fun stealing the cheese and scaring the cat without you.

Come home. Minnie.

Hayley Mabel Zyker Blight:

What an epic year we have had together! From frozen chips and pea fights, to doing a nudey run in the street … You are our world and couldn’t imagine a life without you in it! Summer through Europe is just around the corner and we can’t wait to see what disturbing and hilarious adventures are in store for us!

Happy birthday Hayley! You deserve everything and more!

Your crazy and forever loving, Kyla and Lucy.

Dear Clyde: Happy anniversary! It’s now been four months since our fateful meeting at She Bu Walkabout!

However, soon you’re leaving

me to do a van tour – what am I going to do without our daily horoscope readings, (very) drunken meal outings, and, of course, our marathon love-making sessions? I am going to miss you like crazy but I know you’ll have an amazing time and I can’t wait to come visit.

Lots of love, Bonnie.

Australian guy new to London seeking fellow newbies to London: Hi,

I am new to London – I have only been here a week but oh, what a ride. I’m going through the getting a job and settling in phase, and was thinking it would be nice to have some fellow travellers who are also new to London to share it all with. I am a 33-year-old guy. I love theatre, travel (obviously), concerts, music (The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Peter Gabriel to name a few) and play the guitar. It would be great to develop a bit of a social network of people to hang with and do things, even possibly travel. If that sounds appealing, drop me a line at gregles76@mac.com.

Thanks, Greg.

Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

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Congratulations on your new arrival. When you said you would settle down in London I didn’t think a baby would be involved! But it’s great news.

Call me when Junior hits 16 so I can sneak him into the pub for a Foster’s. Nah, only joking – bring on the babysitting. John.

Looking for someone to have fun with in London and possibly join me on a trip to Wales: Hiya, I am

a male international student here in London. I don’t have too many friends and am looking for someone (female) to get on with, to have fun, outings, nights out, movies etc.

I am planning to travel and spend some time in Wales, so you can join me for this as well. I live in southwest London and would love to spend time with someone new. Looking forward to hearing from you. Email shajjeee@hotmail.com.

Many thanks, Shirjeel.

The man they called Redmond: Tell you what,

Red, that’s the only colour I’ll be seeing if your caloriecounting and street-stomping earns you a waistline that’s smaller than mine! Redmundo, you are now truly a studmundo with no beer (uh-oh!) but what’s more, no belly-o to show-show! I hear Weight Watchers is looking for an ambassador, a man for the people, since Fergie is selling hers. How about it? Here’s to an overhaul that completes you. Good effort, matey. From your support crew.

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