TNT Magazine / Issue 1407 by TNT Magazine

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August 16-22 2010 Issue 1407 tntmagazine.com

MOROCCO Camels and camping in the Sahara

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WEEKEND ESCAPE Discover the best of Dubrovnik WAKING THE DEAD Take a walk on London’s dark side

SYLVESTER STALLONE The action man is back CARDIFF CALLING Have a wild time in Wales

+ JOBS ■ SPORT ■ LONDON ■ NEWS ■ CINEMA ■ FREIGHT

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this week August 16-22 / Issue 1407 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

Front Cover: Getty Images

EDITOR’S LETTER Normandy, Wales and the mountains of Bavaria are probably not places that come readily to mind when planning a holiday destination. But in our travel section this week, you can discover just how rewarding heading off the main tourist trail can be. Or for something truly different, see our feature on the camel rides, souks and hammams of Morocco on page 72.

72 An orderly queue: Morocco is a world away from home

57 TRAVEL

DANIEL LANDON

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 SCARE TACTICS: Take a walk down London’s gruesome memory lane 12 Food & Drink 14 Spotted 16 Silly Buggers

19 ENTERTAINMENT 19 20 21 22 23

Celebrity News 58 City of plenty: Cardiff has loads to offer visitors TNT Life Look Who’s Talking: Sylvester Stallone Cinema 34 NEWS & SPORT Culture 34 Australia News 36 New Zealand News 38 South Africa News 41 The Week In Sport 24 MUSIC & CLUBS 42 Rugby 24 Music 43 NRL 28 SHE’S A LADI: Kiwi singer Ladi6 is 44 AFL making herself heard in the UK 45 Premier League 30 Music Listings 46 Cricket 32 Clubbing 47 General 33 Clubbing Listings

57 Global Vision 58 CITY BUZZ: Cardiff is coming of age – discover it now 60 Late Deals 61 TNTT Weekender: Dubrovnik 62 LIFE’S A BEACH: Enjoy the good stuff on Normandy’s coast 64 Hotshots 66 ON A HIGH: Mountain climbing in Germany isn’t all hard work 68 Travel Tips 69 Travel News 70 On The Road 71 Top Five 72 DESERT DREAMS: Sand, sun and souks in Morocco 61 Discover the charm of Dubrovnik

49 CAREERS & MONEY 49 Careers 50 IN GOOD HEALTH: Skilled allied health workers are in demand 52 Money 55 Coming & Going

REGULARS 21 On the sly: catch up with Sylvester Stallone

4 Letters 6 Wins 122 Desperately Seeking

10 London’s dark past awaits

EDITORIAL Editor Daniel Landon Deputy editor Samantha Baden Subs Laura Adcock | Jahn Vannisselroy Travel editor Janine Kelso Sport editor Tom Sturrock Music editor Alison Grinter Web editor Frankie Mullin Staff writer Rebecca Kent Editorial assistant Inger Smith DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann ART & PICTURES Art director Shabir Mahmood Senior Designer Astrid Breacker Designer Laura Doyle Picture editor Shila Sultana Picture researcher Laila Pacheco SALES Publishing director Jeff Perkins Classified advertising manager Jaqui Ward Key accounts Charlotte Page Classified sales exec Cameron Knapp MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing exec Danielle Tessari Marketing and events exec Christina McFarlane Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Alexandra Buchlakova PRODUCTION Head of production Libby West Production manager Jon Cooke Production assistant Justine Mackay TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Receptionist Lisa Lowe TNT Publishing Ltd Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY St Ives Web Ltd NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images PUBLISHER

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TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

As an old, settled Aussie in the UK, I ask all of you to consider the power of tourist cash when deciding your next travel stop. The Tanzanian government plans to build a highway through the Serengeti National Park – which, according to the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, will have “disastrous consequences” on wildlife. Please boycott the bastards who commit, or think of committing, such horrors, before all we treasure is destroyed. Denise Hyam, SW1

➥ TNT 1406 AUG 9-15 VOICE OF AUTHORITY Would magistrate Peter Smid like to come to Britain (‘Coppers in the drink’, Australia News)? We could do with sensible people like him in authority here. If coppers can’t put up with name calling, how are they going to cope with violence? And wasn’t pouring someone’s drink away asking for trouble? Public

commissioners without getting treatment reminiscent of the old South Africa. Mark Taha, SE26

HOMEWARD BOUND Someone once told me that homesickness comes in threes – I didn’t believe them at the time but I understand now. I know that three hours after I stepped off that first flight I realised that this is actually

If coppers can’t put up “ with name calling, how will they cope with violence?

”

nuisance and similar laws in Britain have been used to suppress free speech at the behest of the neurotic and oversensitive. Free speech is the most important human right of all. This includes the right to advertise tobacco products; and I’m a lifelong non-smoker. It also includes the right of Hone Harawima to say that he wouldn’t want his kids to date whites, and of Mzilikazi wa Afrika to criticise police

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a different country. Three days later and it all seemed wrong, the weather was all backwards, salt and vinegar chips were in the wrong packet, a pint was way too big and organising anything relating to the government was hell. After three months I started to miss all the daily things I did back home, driving a car, BBQs, seeing family and friends. But the really scary point was after three years, when I realised that I had almost put down too

London

The Notting Hill Carnival: London biggest street party

many roots here to leave; perhaps I should have taken that moment to pull the ripcord, but I didn’t, so now after almost six years I am actually intimidated by the thought of going home. I can see myself now standing in a Brisbane pub, looking disappointedly at a tiny pot of beer and eating a pack of chicken crisps … I just hope it is sunny! Daniel Reader, via email

TRAIN DRAMAS I was on the train the other day when rainwater started to leak through the ceiling. The carriage was full, so I had to stand. But then I realised that the guy opposite was taking up two seats, one for himself – and one for his backpack! What have people got in their bags that make them more important than their fellow human beings? I’m intrigued. Ange, Earl’s Court

TNT online Catch up with your fellow TNT readers and share your views at tntmagazine.com/forums

Cinema

True Blood star Ryan Kwanten talks about his scary new flick

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YOUR SAY

LETTER OF THE WEEK

HOME CROWD

MacGyver’s letter ‘Filter out freaks’ (TNT 1406) made for pretty sad reading. I’ve lived in shared houses in London for nearly four years with flatmates from France, Germany, Spain, Italy, and Canada. I’ve eaten homemade Italian pizza, supported the Canadians in the Winter Olympics and sung German drinking songs. I’ve lived with my fair share of Kiwis and Aussies as well, some

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with very narrowminded attitudes to life. London is a melting pot that provides so many opportunities to meet people from other countries. Not all Antipodeans are easy to live with, and not all other people are freaks. You may not be a xenophobic git, but you may need to tone down the “filter” once in a while and give people a chance. Suzie, Willesden Green

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COMMUNITY CORNER OZ ELECTION CAST YOUR VOTE THIS WEEK You might be thousands of miles from home, but if you’re an Aussie you can still vote in the upcoming election. The federal election will be held on August 21. You can vote in person at Australia House, Strand, WC2B 4LA, from 11am to 8pm this week, from Monday to Friday inclusive. You cannot vote on Saturday. If you can’t vote in person, arrange a postal vote. A completed application form, available at aec.gov.au, must arrive in the post at the High

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A Plasma TV A trip for 2 to Oktoberfest Portable DVD players A week for 2 skiing Creamfields tickets

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

PING! LONDON FREE WHAT: Ping pong tables have been installed all over London; bats and balls are supplied so all you need to do is rock up with a mate and see who’s got the best sliced backhand. WHEN: Until August 22. DO IT BECAUSE: Ping pong is great fun wherever you play, but there’s an undoubted novelty in serving it up in an iconic London location, whether it’s the Tate Modern, Hyde Park or Covent Garden. If anything, it’s a pity public ping pong tables aren’t available permanently. Now there’s an idea for Boris.

» Locations all over London (pinglondon.com)

Capital idea: Salusbury Road Each part of London has one – a strip of shops and eateries that has gone from ho-hum to fantastically trendy. They can change so quickly that, if you don’t have your finger on the pulse, you might not notice. Kilburn’s Salusbury Road has fit that description for a few years now – it’s scrubbed itself up from a scruffy north London neighbourhood to a hub of tasty pavement dining and top-notch gastropubs. Check out Mr Fish on the corner of Harvist Road – they

do some great salmon and halibut. Then go for a drink in the plush Salusbury or the spectacular Long Room. It’s a great spot for north London locals and is even worth travelling to. The only drawback of the area’s trendiness is the prevalence of ‘cool hat’ jackasses. Don’t you just want to give them all a wedgie? TS

TETE A TETE: THE OPERA FESTIVAL £6

CAMDEN FRINGE: GARY COLMAN £7.50

Small-scale, accessible opera comes to London. If you’re curious, but have always been intimidated by the ’high art’ factor, this is for you.

Quality Geordie stand-up (below) tries to convince himself that his life has been more than “an overly elaborate suicide attempt”.

» Riverside Studios, Crisp

» The Sheephaven Bay,

Rd, W6 9RL Hammersmith (riversidestudios.co.uk). Until Aug 22

2 Mornington St, NW1 7QD Mornington Crescent (camdenfringe.org). Aug 16-29

» Salusbury Rd, NW6 Queen’s Park VERDICT: UPMARKET GRUB

BRITAIN EXPLAINED LONDON BY NUMBERS

£355m Funding cuts this year to London councils by the British Government

Source: londoncouncils.gov.uk

tntmagazine.com

PRIVATE OR PUBLIC SCHOOL? A hugely confusing topic in this country, seeing as some ‘public’ schools are actually completely private – that is, funded independently and not by the government. A school such as Eton, where Princes William and Harry went, is a ‘public’ school despite charging extortionate fees. This is because, traditionally, schools like this admitted students who weren’t just from the local area. Also, it was usual for those who attended public schools to

enter public service – that is, working for the armed forces, church or the government. This differs to ‘private’ schools, although they also require you to pay for tuition, and ‘state’ schools, where any Jack the lad can be taught for free. Think of it in terms of expensiveness: state school (cheap as), private school (rather nice), public school (I’m royalty or a future politician, don’t you know). SIMON WILLMORE

Paco’s tip of the week. READ

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TEST CRICKET AT THE OVAL £20

SIR HANS SLOANE LECTURES £15

Fair enough, it’s only the Poms and Pakistan, but seeing a bit of Test cricket in England is a great experience. You just have to hope the weather holds out. Shouldn’t be too busy, either.

Opening late on Wednesday nights, the Chelsea Physic Garden is hosting a series of lectures on natural sciences. Sounds a bit educational, but it’s a great location.

Getty Images, Glenn Copus/Evening Standard/Rex Features

» The Brit Oval, Kennington

» Chelsea Physic Garden,

Oval, SE11 5SS Oval (britoval.com). Aug 18-22

SW3 4HS Sloane Square (chelseaphysicgarden.co.uk). Until Aug 25

COVENT GARDEN REAL FOOD MARKET FREE

GLYNDEBOURNE AT SOMERSET HOUSE £15

One of London’s best markets is switching from Saturdays to Thursdays – come down and get your fill of Polish snags, posh teas, French pastries and the tastiest olives ever.

It’s a big week for opera – the renowned Glyndebourne Festival is happening in Sussex but highlights will be televised on the big screen at Somerset House.

» Covent Garden Piazza,

» Somerset House,

WC2E 9DD Covent Garden (coventgardenlondonuk.com). Every Thursday.

Strand, WC2R 1LA Temple (glyndebourne.com). Aug 20-22

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scare tactics

From ghost stories on the Southbank to a moving and beautiful working cemetery, discover the capital’s dark past WORDS ASHLEY BARFOROUSH

ondon’s history is rich in incredible stories about those who are no longer with us. Some are legendary or scary, others are sad and moving, but all are worth hearing. Here’s our pick.

tntmagazine.com

TNT Images

Soloman Slaughter delights in the gruesome

SAINTS AND SINNERS OF SOUTHWARK Who better to tell ghost stories than an actual ghost? Or at least a white faced, blood-splattered pretender. This walk through Southwark is hosted by Soloman Slaughter, who talks like he’s been dead for 700 years. Slaughter’s tour revels in the gruesome. We pick up the story behind the reconstructed Shakespeare’s Globe (SE1 9DT). Back in the day, he tells us, actors used lead-based make-up. The

LONDON

unsuspecting thespians would be poisoned by the paint, which in some cases caused the flesh to fall off their faces. Slaughter exposes the darker history of the Southbank as we tread the paths of bishops and criminals from centuries past. We also visit the nearby Cross Bones Graveyard, an unconsecrated burial ground for “single ladies” – a euphemism for prostitutes. It’s an evocatively eerie place. Excavations on the site unearthed

The lead-based “ make-up caused flesh to fall off ” a hugely overcrowded graveyard with bodies piled on top of one another, and tests suggested those buried had suffered from ailments including smallpox and tuberculosis.

» Haunted History Walks runs the Saints and Sinners of Southwark walk London Bridge (07982 230208; londonparanormal.com). £9 HIGHGATE CEMETERY Highgate, one of London’s most moving sites, is also a working cemetery that shuts its gates to visitors during funerals. The cemetery is divided into East and West, with the former open to the public from 10am on weekdays and 11am on weekends. Visitors can wander among the graves of its famous internees, who include philosopher Karl Marx, novelist George Eliot and author Douglas Adams. Across the road, entering the 1839 West Cemetery (accessible by pre-arranged guided tour only) is like stepping back in time as you discover dramatic stone tombs, ivy-covered graves and towering Victorian angels.

History lessons: London Dungeon brings the past to life

TOWER OF LONDON One of London’s most iconic tourist attractions, the Tower of London is packed full of atmospheric tales of monarchs past. Built by William the Conqueror, the Tower is the guardian of almost 1000 years of history and was once a place of execution. This fortress turned palace turned prison is now home to the crown jewels, but it’s also seen it’s fair share of bloody death. “It has the macabre element because two queens were executed here,” says Brett Dinning of Historic Royal Palaces. Both Anne Boleyn in 1536 and Catherine Howard in 1542 met their end at the Tower of London and today, some attribute strange happenings to Boleyn’s ghost.

» The Tower of London, Tower Hill,

EC3N 4AB Tower Hill (0844 482 7777; hrp.org.uk/toweroflondon). £17

» Highgate Cemetery, Swain’s Ln,

THE LONDON DUNGEON Somewhere between a haunted house and an eerie amusement park sits the London Dungeon, which features live actors and demented carnival rides to illustrate some of London’s scarier stories. “It’s horrible history brought to life,” says the Dungeon’s David Hetherington. While you probably won’t come out with lots of historical facts, the London Dungeon is a fun way to spend a few hours. Don’t miss the The Drop of Doom – a vertical ride into darkness – or the Boat Ride to Hell …

N6 6PJ Archway (020 8340 1834; highgate-cemetery.org). East Cemetery £3, West Cemetery (guided tour only) £7

SE1 2SZ London Bridge (020 7403 7221; the-dungeons.co.uk). £23

LONDON’S MACABRE CHARACTERS JACK THE RIPPER

This famous London resident, also known as the ‘Butcher of Whitechapel’, terrorised London in the late 1800s. The serial killer is blamed for the murder of five prostitutes between 1888 and 1891, though the cases were never solved. Follow in the Ripper’s footsteps on any number of tours around the East End.

SWEENEY TODD Made famous by Johnny Depp in Tim Burton’s film of the same name, Sweeney Todd is a fictional character who takes on a murderous life of his own.

» The London Dungeon, 28-34 Tooley St,

Demon barber: Sweeney Todd

tntmagazine.com

FOOD & DRINK

BAR REVIEW The Terrace ★★★★★

LONDON

Unit 601, Centre Court Shopping Centre, Queens Rd, SW19 8YA, 020 8944 9970 Wimbledon

THE SCENE As the name implies, this little Wimbledon gem has lovely outdoor terrace space, perfect for enjoying cocktails and balmy summer

English trifle

nights. The indoor bar area is stylish, with a touch of good ol’ glamour. THE GRUB They have great platters on a menu of finger food from around the world. We had the Asian platter to share for £12.50 and loved it. They also do pizza, Thai dishes, BBQ ribs and tuna steaks for mains. BEHIND THE BAR A well-

stocked bar supplies most spirits. There’s an interesting cocktail list and jugs for £21.50 – which we got eight glasses out of – as well as beer on tap for £3.80 a pint. BILL PLEASE A tad more costly than your local pub, but definitely value for money. VERDICT Divine cocktails above the roof tops of Wimbledon. INGER SMITH

I say, how lovely!

The Brits know a thing or two about whipping up a smashing pudding. Follow this darling recipe from the clever clogs at the Cookery School and you’ll be a trifle master in no time. WHAT YOU NEED: For the custard: 500g milk/cream if a richer custard is desired; 1 vanilla pod; 5 egg yolks; 50g sugar. For the trifle: 1 freshly made sponge cake, 1 batch freshly made custard; Fino sherry to sprinkle over toasted slivered almonds; 570ml whipped cream; fresh seasonal berries – approx 750g. THE WORK: For the custard: Pour the milk/cream into a saucepan. Split the vanilla pod and scrape the seeds into the milk/ cream and add the empty pod too, so that maximum vanilla flavour is extracted. Bring the milk/cream slowly to the boil.

FISH AND CHIPPIES Olleys SE24 9AA

Beat the egg yolks with the sugar. Slowly pour in the milk/ cream, beating all the time to ensure the eggs do not curdle. Pour the mixture back into the saucepan and, whisking all the time over a very low heat, cook until the custard thickens. Remove from the heat and remove the vanilla pod. Strain the custard if necessary and chill until needed. For the trifle: Cut or tear the sponge into pieces and place in bottom of a large glass bowl.

Sprinkle well with sherry. Spoon the cream over the sherry-sprinkled cake. Sprinkle over a layer of berries. Spoon over some of the freshly made but cool custard. Repeat the process starting with the sponge cake until the dish is full. Pour over the remaining whipped cream to cover. Sprinkle with the almonds and refrigerate. » Cookery School, 5B Little Portland St, W1W 8BW Oxford Circus (020 7631 4590; cookeryschool.co.uk)

2-4-1 AND MUCH MORE

EC1N 7TS Traditional fish and chips at its best. Set right in the middle of Farringdon’s bustling Leather Lane. Expect big portions, friendly service and crisp, tasty fish.

NOW ONL Y £5

W10 5SA Expect to queue at busy times, this Ladbroke Grove gem is a favourite with the likes of Jamie Oliver, too.

TNT Images

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Traditional Plaice

George’s Portobello Fish Bar

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This Herne Hill chippy is within spitting distance of Brockwell Park, which means you can enjoy your order al fresco. It ain’t known as a “fish experience” for nowt.

Vote Liberal The Liberals will: 1. End the waste

2. Pay back the debt

3. Stop new taxes

We will end the wasteful spending, like Labor’s home insulation disaster that cost Australians $2.4 billion and led to 191 house fires.

Labor is borrowing another $100 million a day, every day. We will pay back the debt, easing pressure on interest rates, taxes and cost of living.

Australia can’t afford and doesn’t need more Labor taxes, like their mining tax and their tax on electricity arising from an Emissions Trading Scheme, pushing up prices for everyone.

4. Stop the boats

5. Help families

6. Do the right thing

We will stop the illegal boats. Illegal boat arrivals have increased from an average of 3 per year since 2002, to more than 3 per week under Labor.

We will ease the pressure on families by introducing 6 months paid parental leave for working mothers and increasing and expanding the Education Tax rebate.

It’s time to take real action to end the waste, repay the debt, stop the new taxes, stop the boats and to ease the pressure on families.

Stand up for Australia. Stand up for real action. liberal.org.au Authorised by B. Loughnane, Cnr Blackall and Macquarie Sts, Barton ACT Australia 2600.

SPOTTED ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

LONDON

Call us on 020 7373 3377 or come down to the TNT office so we can ID you. You’ve won three Lonely Planet (lonelyplanet.com) guides of your choice. PLUS for another chance to win, log on to tntmagazine.com/ gallery and see if you’ve been circled.

OCTOBERFEST PUB Fulham Rd, London, SW6, Sat, Aug 7 Photos by: Nicola Belliafantie/TNT Images

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LONDON

SILLY BUGGERS

I’ve been living with my girlfriend for two years but feel like we’re running out of steam. I love my girlfriend but miss my independence. What should I do?

Loss of independence can be a problem in any relationship. When I was sentenced to home detention, I had this bracelet on my leg that would administer a high-voltage electric shock whenever I attempted to leave my condominium. I was dating a guy but my inability to leave home put a real handbrake on it. You should both develop

TOOL OF THE WEEK Joyriding bogan

In the animal world, the size of males’ testicles is in proportion to how many partners the females have at any one time. It’s about sperm competition. The more blokes sleeping with a female, the more jizz they need to produce. Bonobo apes, for example, are notoriously promiscuous – they have orgies when they discover a new food source – so Small balls a 45kg

bonobo has nuts the size of chicken eggs. Gorillas, on the other hand, have balls the size of kidney beans, hidden inside their bodies. Gorillas, you see, establish harems, so there’s no sperm competition. In short, female monogamy makes males’ balls shrink and I think that’s what has happened to you. I am prepared to sleep with your missus to help ignite that sperm competition so your balls grow a bit bigger.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

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STREAK THROUGH A RE-ENACTMENT OF OLDEN-DAY CROQUET

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When Adam Ramsay took a stolen red Ferrari for a spin in Broadmeadows – a notoriously rough-and-tumble Melbourne suburb – he must have expected to stand out. But Ramsay, who had conned a casino valet into handing over the keys, even had the gall to drive the Ferrari to Broadmeadows police station, where he reported for bail over another matter. Ramsay was eventually nabbed, while wearing tracksuit pants and a footy jumper, at a petrol station. Wonder what gave him away.

some outside interests so you don’t feel joined at the hip. For example, she could play midweek netball and you could start rebirthing stolen cars out of a mate’s garage. But if she brings home a friend who is inexplicably interested in your operation, she could have been planted by the cops. Probably best to break up with your girlfriend to ensure the location of your rebirthing shop remains secret.

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➩

THREE’S A CROWD: The ‘Beckhams’ of South Africa, former Springbok Joost van der Westhuizen and his wife, singer and presenter Amor Vittone, are to divorce. According to newspaper Beeld, all parties have denied that Joost’s controversial sex’n’drug tape has anything to do with the divorce. Instead, a “third party” – a man associated with Vittone – is mentioned in the court documents. “Amor will give her full version of those allegations,” Vittone’s lawyer, Claudio Bollo, told Beeld. Can’t wait!

A GOOD WEEK FOR

Aussie actress Georgie Parker will soon pop up on our screens in longrunning soap Home And Away. Parker will play Alf Stewart’s daughter, Roo, who returns to Summer Bay after years abroad. Strewth!

Getty Images, Gallo Images

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

Paris Hilton is being sued over a ‘bad hair day’. Hairtech International Inc wants $35m for breach of contract due to Paris sporting the extensions of a competitor back in 2008.

‘I’M NO CRACK WHORE’ After an online slanging match with a teenager, Kiwi model and presenter Charlotte Dawson plans to sue Facebook and Ninemsn over allegations of bullying.

The Australia’s Next Top Model judge was defending her costar, designer Alex Perry, on the Facebook page ‘Alex Perry Is A Twat’, when she became involved in a vile online exchange with a Perry hater. According to The Daily Telegraph, Dawson said she’d

been called a “disease-ridden prostitute” and “crack whore”. The model allegedly repaid the abuse, calling the creator of the page a “westie scrag” and its members “f ... ing losers”. The online dispute apparently ended in death threats to Dawson and Perry. Dawson now plans to sue Facebook and Ninemsn (who published the thread) over the bullying accusations against her, saying she lost an $18,000 contract due to bad publicity.

SAY WHAT?

”People laugh at me. Sometimes I know why, and sometimes I don’t” Jen Aniston often gets the feeling she’s the butt of people’s jokes.

Woman’s Weekly: The mag visits Outrageous Fortune actress Siobhan Marshall at her home – a fairytale treehouse in Auckland; presenter Paul Henry may have turned 50 but is still going strong, plus Chelsea Clinton’s dream wedding.

AUSTRALIA Woman’s Day: Kyle Sandilands has been hooking up with Californian stripper Nicole Marie White who he met in LA a year ago; Princess Mary is expecting twins; Jessica McNamee reveals that the success of co-actress Jessica Marais made her leave Rafters; plus missing model Kate Fischer talks about why she went off the radar.

SOUTH AFRICA Heat: Swim champ Ryk Neethling has a new woman by his side; Halle Berry takes on sharks at False Bay for new film Dark Tide; plus Jennifer Aniston can’t get over the past. You: The mag speaks to the mother of Isidingo actor Arno Marais as her son lies in a coma, fighting for his life, after a horrific car accident.

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ENTERTAINMENT

CELEBRITY NEWS

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

TNT LIFE ENTERTAINMENT

NELSON MANDELA GALA DINNER A hero to the world, 92-yearold Nelson Mandela has dedicated his life to fighting for justice and those most vulnerable in society. Come and celebrate his legacy, and the work of the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund, at the Annual Gala Dinner in London, held at Lord’s on September 22. Tickets are £95 per person, or book a table for 10 people for £900. This includes a drinks reception, a four-course meal, half a bottle of wine per person plus entertainment. Last year the organisation

TEACH ENGLISH OVERSEAS

» Thomas Lord Suite, Lord’s Cricket Ground, NW8 8QN St John’s Wood. 7.30pm11.30pm. Wed, Sep 22. See mandela-children.org.uk

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05/08/2010 13:34

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Wish you could combine work with travel? If so, teaching English as a foreign language could be the job for you. To get you started, TNT and ITT are running weekend courses this autumn for only £130 (normally £200). Certificates are recognised in nonEnglish speaking countries worldwide. » TNT offices, Child’s Pl, SW5 9RX Earl’s Court. 9am-6pm. Sep 1112, Sep 25-26 or Oct 9-10. See tntmagazine.com/tefl

helped over 87,000 young people in South Africa.

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

The 64-year-old star of Rocky and Rambo on getting older, the state of the film industry and his new movie The Expendables.

ENTERTAINMENT

Sylvester Stallone INTERVIEW PIERRE DE VILLIERS Next to the current generation of young leading men, you and the tough guys in The Expendables come across as, well, prehistoric.

[Laughs] Yeah, definitely – are you kidding me! We were like head waiters at the Last Supper. We had a dinosaur as a house pet. We’re old. Well, I’m old.

I’m dying to “ kick Dolph’s brains in ”

I believe the violence is very justifiable. One thing in my films, I kill people that need to be killed. The ones that deserve it, get it and they get it good but the ones that go after women really get it. People say: “Isn’t that overkill” but I’m not going to have a man sit there and really have his way with a woman, tearing her apart, wrecking her life and then just shoot him with a bullet. He’s going to feel real pain and I think for the audience it’s a cathartic feeling. I don’t feel guilty about it at all.

How much pressure is there on you as an actor and director when it comes to The Expendables? People attending a preview screening applauded before the film even started.

Oh, that’s commonplace around my house. When I wake up my daughter applauds and says: “Yay, good morning daddy”. [Laughs] No, really, it’s a lot of pressure because sometimes you have a film and you have a major turkey on your hands, and it’s not even Thanksgiving. This is the other side of it, where you have great expectation.

Does that mean your action days are now really numbered and you might do more dramas?

A lot of action fans are excited to see you square up to Dolph Lundgren, your nemesis in Rocky IV, again. Didn’t he put you in hospital all those years ago?

No, I’ve done my ‘mind’ movies and I don’t think people are really that interested in seeing me do that anymore. I think I’m past my prime doing dramatic films. It becomes like almost a pathetic cry to be recognised as a serious dramatic actor. I’ve done my little moment. I’m very proud of the drama in Rocky Balboa – it’s about as deep as I can go – and in Cop Land. I would much rather just direct dramas.

I’m dying to kick his brains in because he really beat me up badly in that movie. I look at it now and I go: “What was I thinking? This guy’s a monster.” I said to him when we were filming the fight scene in Rocky IV: “Dolph, I want you to try and knock me out, just for the first 30 seconds and I’ll do my best to protect myself.” He put me in hospital for four days so I’ve got a bit of grudge. [Laughs].

Your career spans four decades. How has the film industry changed in that time?

Getty Images

The bodycount is very high in many of your films. Do you think all the violence is justified?

Well, stars don’t matter that much now. Concept is what matters. It is about the overall originality or a reinterpretation of a really classic situation … Back in the day they used to put you in a film and just surround you with guys and they didn’t need to develop character. You can’t do that today. There is a lot at stake these days. There is no more “Oh, I got a gut feeling, I’m going to take a chance. Everyone says no but I’ll try it anyway.” That’s gone. These days actors are weighed against what they are going to bring in. It’s really like a math project.

» The Expendables is out August 19. See page 22 for our review.

DID YOU KNOW? Stallone is a respected painter his abstract works have sold for up to $50,000 At school he was voted by fellow pupils as most likely to end up in the electric chair. Stallone’s famous slurred speech and crooked smile are the result of birth complications, with forceps causing paralysis to the lower left side of his face.

tntmagazine.com

CULTURE THE PRISONER OF SECOND AVENUE Prolific American playwright Neil Simon is a clever, often very funny writer but he doesn’t always know when enough is enough and a joke wears thin. This revival of his angstridden 1971 Broadway hit could ditch a redundant scene involving a quartet of assorted siblings and focus solely on advertising exec Mel and his wife Edna when New York city life and the economic downturn push him over the edge. Jeff Goldblum maintains the gags and the momentum as 47-year-old Mel, unable

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre to cope with noisy neighbours and broken air-conditioning in their high-rise apartment, while Mercedes Ruehl is his devoted spouse, forced to become the breadwinner in a social comedy which sacrifices truthfulness for an onslaught of one-liners. LOUISE KINGSLEY

» Vaudeville, Strand, WC2R 0NH Charing Cross (0844 412 4663). Until Sept 25. From £25

TNT online For more reviews of events in London go to tntmagazine.com/londonlife

WORTH A LOOK Get a dose of Falstaff, arguably Shakespeare’s greatest comic creation, in Henry IV Part 1 » Shakespeare’s Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1 9DT

• See the Menier Chocolate Factory transfer

London Bridge (shakespeares-globe.org) Until October 9. From £5

of Educating Rita » Trafalgar Studios, 14 Whitehall, London SW1A 2DY

Charing Cross (trafalgar-studios.co.uk) Until Oct 30. From £12.50

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK

WOLFGANG TILLMANS

FEAR OF HAT LOSS IN LAS VEGAS

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Brendon Burns

Joe Cole

★★★★★

Don’t be fooled by the way some of Wolfgang Tillmans’ works are pinned and taped to the walls of the Serpentine Gallery. This German-born modern artist is well known for playing with exhibition methods and this, Tillmans’ first major exhibition since 2003, is

no exception. Check out his diverse talents – from the colourful Silver Installation VII 2009 (below) to his portraits of athletes and babies. SAMANTHA BADEN

» Serpentine Gallery, Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA South Kensington (serpentinegallery.org) Until Sept 19. Free

(Bantam Press) OUT NOW

(Simon & Schuster)

Aussie comedian Brendon Burns and four mates hit the Nevada desert in a convertible. What follows is a tale of drugs, debauchery, hookers, stand-up comedy, aliens, Vegas and friendship.

AUG 19

THE ACCIDENT Ismail Kadare

THE REAL ME IS THIN

(Canongate) AUG 19

Arabella Weir

Set against the backdrop of war and its aftermath in the Balkans, this new novel from the internationally-acclaimed Albanian writer documents an affair between two people caught in a fatalitic web.

(Fourth Estate) AUG 19

Yet another Premier League footballer spills his guts. This time former Chelsea and West Ham player Joe Cole traces his life story from humble beginnings in London.

Onetime Fast Show comedian behind the ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ catchphrase charts her own eating history in this humorous look at our sometimesunhealthy attitudes to food.

MORE EXHIBITIONS Ponder the beauty of the Johan Persson

Romantics » Tate Britain, Millbank, SW1P 4RG

Pimlico (tate.org.uk/

• See African, Asian and Oceanic tribal art at Tribal Perspectives 2010 » britain) Until Dec 31, 2012. Free.

Gallery 27 & 28 Cork Street,

W1S 3NG

Green Park (tribalperspectives.com) Sep 29-Oct 2. Free

tntmagazine.com

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MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK KASABIAN Crikey, as if they weren’t big enough already, the Leicester quartet, named after the woman who drove Charles Manson’s getaway car, have just been paid a small fortune by the Premier League to use their tune Fire in the title sequences for live games. Having hit on a winning combo of baggy-Madchester influences and textured electro the band are still dining out on the success of third album West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum. This show will no doubt serve as a warm-up for their upcoming V Festival appearances.

» Brixton Academy, SW9 9SL

Brixton (0844 477 2000; o2academybrixton.co.uk). Thur, Aug 19. £27.50.

JASON DERÜLO

Now based in trendy music hub Portland, Oregon, Laura Veirs’ seventh album, the pretty, beguiling July Flame nevertheless manages to capture the airiness and outdoorsy-ness of her native Colorado. The stripped-back folk-inspired tunes are all a long way from her days playing in all-girl punk band Rair Kx! She’s at the Jazz Cafe for two nights.

» Shepherd’s Bush Empire, W11 8QE Shepherd’s Bush. (08444 77 2000; o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk). Thurs, Aug 19. £20

» Jazz Cafe, 5 Parkway, NW1 7PG

NEW BAND ALERT

Hermes THE BUZZ SO FAR Not to be confused with Dutch pop band, The

Getty Images

LAURA VEIRS

Long before he became an RnB crooner in his own right, Florida’s Jason De Rulo was penning tunes for the likes of Lil’ Wayne and P Diddy. It proved to be a fruitful apprenticeship because this year he delivered an eponymous debut album full of crowd-pleasing, charttopping tunes like Watcha Say and Ridin’ Solo.

Hermes House Band, this Cirencester trio are named after the messenger of the gods in Greek mythology. This is fitting given that their career got lift-off when a friend passed their demo to producer Greg Haver (Manic Street Preachers, Super Furry Animals). Loving their hook-filled euphoric power pop he offered his services to the production of their debut album. WHAT ELSE? The band’s indie cred has recently been boosted by plays on XFM and 6music. THE PLUG No Age For Saints/Jack out on August 16.

Camden Town (0870 060 3777; jazzcafe.co.uk). Aug 16-17. £15

FESTIVAL WATCH Jim Jones Revue at Bestival The old-school blues act have been described by Mojo as “the greatest rock ’n’ roll band in the world right now.” And with new Jim Sclavunosproduced LP Burning Your House Down to plug they’ve been added to Bestival’s bill. Isle of Wight (bestival.net). Sep 9-12. Earlybird tickets on sale for Camp Bestival Bestival’s sister festival boasted an amazing line up in July including Madness, and Friendly Fires. Before the memory of these good times fades, Camp Bestival have released earlybird tickets for next year’s event, though no acts have been confirmed yet. Lulworth Castle, Dorset (campbestival.net).

Professor Green at LED Festival It’s difficult to escape Lily Allen’s bezzie mate at the moment with his single Just Be Good To Green all over the airwaves. And now the hiphop newcomer is the latest addition to LED’s already stonking line-up which includes David Guetta, Soulwax, Calvin Harris and South Africa’s zef rappers Die Antwoord. Victoria Park, London (ledfestival.net). Aug 27-28.

Jul 29-31, 2011.

tntmagazine.com

She’s a

ladi

Kiwi songstress Ladi6 had the confidence to take her music beyond Aotearoa’s borders – and her gamble has paid off. WORDS REBECCA KENT

tntmagazine.com

VOICE IT Previously heard embellishing tracks by FFD, Shapeshifter, Scribe and a host of other Kiwi artists, Ladi6’s pipes have drawn comparisons to Amy Winehouse, Erykah Badu and Lauryn Hill. They are some serious soul sistas to share music space with, but lend an ear to her album – a mish-mash of soul, RnB, reggae, rap and jazz – and only a few tracks in, you realise the likeness is not simply PR puff.

Dean MacKenzie, Getty Images

TIMING IS EVERYTHING The 29-year-old Samoan, who cut her teeth with the trailblazing all-girl hip-hop group Sheelahroc, and hip-hop/soul collective Verse Two with her now lover and musical collaborator Brent ‘Parks’ Park, confesses that the album – a fouryear learning curve and labour of love – does not quite hit the mark. ‘’It was totally organic. Songs like Dark Brown, with the drums, is what we were trying to do with the beat, but we felt like by the end of the record we hadn’t quite nailed it. However, it did reflect everything we had been doing up to then, so it was almost for us like a time capsule.’’ ON THE UP The two have obviously mastered the studio spaghetti junction, because her upcoming album is shaping up to be much more reflective of her ‘’danceable’’ live gigs, where she sings to Parks’ live mixes. ‘’Our gigs are not for contemplating. When

ENTERTAINMENT

hen you can namecheck the boys of New Zealand’s luminary dub/roots outfit Fat Freddys Drop as the team behind your first solo album, then it’s sure going to have some clout. But not only does Christchurch-born Karoline Tamati – who is determinedly courting audiences beyond the Pacific under the sobriquet Ladi6 – have close friend Chris ‘Mu’ Faiumu (the man behind FFD) attached to her LP Time Is Not Much, her tracks also feature the island nation’s most famous rapper, Scribe, who happens to be her cousin. However, it’s the seductively velvet voice of Ladi6 that warrants a look-in on its own.

Island sounds: Fat Freddys Drop

we get on stage it’s bang, straight into a party. Ladies, no heels please,’’ she insists. Energetic or not, the debut album was profound enough to snag the attention of legendary urban poet Gil Scott-Heron, who invited her to perform a string of support gigs, even if she didn’t know him from a bar of soap.

FRIENDS ON HIGH It was only when she pulled up at their first venue, London’s Royal Festival Hall, that she had some inkling of how famous this guy was. ‘’I was like, ‘What the hell is that? We’re playing here?’ I was just totally stunned and a little like ‘Shit, what are we going to do?’ I had no idea Gil was this big, famous dude, but he totally ended up being like an uncle to us.’’ Those gigs are among 50 that Ladi6 is close to notching up on a European tour this summer on the back of the Time Is Not Much re-release by Berlin-based label BBE, which counts US hip-hop producer Madlib among its signings. Notwithstanding the support of an established label and incredibly large, incredibly musical network of family and friends, Ladi6 has the gumption to reach great heights.

Scribe: how many dudes you know roll like this?

BERLIN CALLING She is the fifth of six children (the ‘’unimportant ignored one who had to be loud to make her mark’’),

born to a bolshie feminist mother and a father who was an instrumental figure in the 1970s liberation group, the Polynesian Panthers. Although she harbours a deep affinity to her homeland, Ladi6, with Parks and their son, Philli, 6, base themselves in Berlin for six months of each year, where it allows them to gig through summer. The city has given Ladi6 a new perspective on life outside New Zealand. ‘’The biggest thing I’ve learnt here is not to give a shit what other people think. In New Zealand there’s pressure to be a certain thing. I’ve learned you’ve just gotta get busy doing what you want and the people who are like-minded will come to you.’’ And they’re bound to come in droves.

RHYME AND REASON Ladi6 formed the now defunct Sheelahroc with school friend Sarah Tamaira – the sister of FFD vocalist Dallas – and her cousin Tyra Hammond. By 2002, when they had released the single If I Gave You Th’ Mic, they had earned widespread acclaim in New Zealand. But her involvement in the group only came about after a miscommunication, when she was invited to Sarah’s house to do ‘rhymes’, which she misunderstood to mean writing poems. “I’d never heard of girls coming together to write poems and I was like ‘yeah, cool, I’m in’. So I was at her house and she just started rapping at me with her ghetto blaster and I was like, ‘Um, ok, I’m into this’.” By 2005, the ladies had gone their separate ways, leading Ladi6 to join Parks to in his fledgling band Verse Two.

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC LISTINGS The Pretty Reckless

MUSIC & CLUBS

MONDAY 16

Contemporary hard rock from the New York-based combo. Islington Academy,

Judy Carmichael Swing and stride piano from the New York-based artist.

N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £8.50.

plays rock ’n’ roll. Half Moon,

Chords, Universal

Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £10.

Mod-revival four-piece.

FRIDAY 20

The Manchester-based band plays upbeat indie. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

Billy Childish And The Musicians Of The British Empire The veteran

The Fallows, The Feud, The Zigzag Saints, Indie Folker Indie-folk from the

underground garage rocker and his new band performs. Boston Arms, Junction Rd, N19 5QQ (020 7272 8153). £8, adv £6.

Coventry-based trio. Hope And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £4.50.

Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £10, adv £8.

Right Said Fred The London-based duo plays pop. Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Pl, WC2H 7BX (0844 847 2475). £18-£20.

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

ARCADE FIRE The O2, SE10 0DX North Greenwich (0844 856 0202; livenation.co.uk). Wed, Dec 1. £30. The Montreal collective pulled back from the brink of art-pop-wank oblivion with delicious new album The Suburbs. Now they’ve confirmed their biggest UK tour to date with a stop-off at the O2.

David Rotheray Contemporary folk from the Hull-based singersongwriter and ex-member of The Beautiful South. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £12.

WT Feaster Band Blues-rock from the Indianapolis-based guitarist. Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

TUESDAY 17 Shoshana Bean The LA-based singer and Broadway actress performs soul and R’n’B from her debut album, Superhero. Ambassadors Theatre, West St, WC2H 9ND (0844 811 2334/ cc 020 7836 1171). £25.

Antonia Cove, Julia Johnson, Barbara Pugliese, John Drake Folk and bluegrass singer-songwriter from New York. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £6.

Gallon Drunk, ToeHammer Bluesy garage-rock from the London-based band. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £10, adv £8.

Pete Long’s Gillespiana

WEDNESDAY 18 Andy Cutting Folk from the award-winning singer-songwriter. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

Hot Wax And Champagne, Pale Fires, Jumping Ships, Degrees Rising Alt rock from

tntmagazine.com

Sam Hare The London-based singer-songwriter and guitarist plays blues and country. Charlotte St Blues Club, Charlotte St, W1T 4QH (020 7580 0113). £7, mems £5.

Funkification Eight-piece funk, soul and disco band.

The Dave O’Higgins Septet Neo-bop from the jazz ensemble.

Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and soul

Melodic hardcore metal from the Sheffield-based group.

The Henry Brothers The Norfolk-born duo play death songs, murder ballads, Americana and blues. The

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £6.

Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £6.

THURSDAY 19

Incognito, The Ronnie Scotts All Stars Jazz-funk

Sabbat The Nottingham-formed

from London-based Jean-Paul Bluey Maunick and his band.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

While She Sleeps, TRC

Athens Polytechnic, Love At Death Beach Punk-rock from

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.

from the seven-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, free to diners before 10pm.

band plays jagged thrash-metal.

The Vortex, Little Imp

Let The Good Times Roll

Indie-rock outfit, featuring ex-Oasis guitarist Bonehead.

Josephine Soulful pop

The Besnard Lakes

singer from Manchester. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £6.

Kong, Blacklisters The Manchester-based trio plays deranged post-hardcore. The Old Blue Last, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3ES (020 7739 5793). £6.

Mark Lanegan The gravelvoiced troubadour and Queens Of The Stone Age collaborator performs rock. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £17.50.

Little Feat Country-rock, Americana and blues from the Los Angeles-formed veterans. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £15-£35.

Academy, N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £9.

Martin Speake & Pete Hurt Quartet The combo plays

Haunting psych-rock and provocative pop from the Canadian collective. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £14.

Daniel Boys The Any Dream Will Do contestant performs songs from his album, So Close. The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £25.

Funktonite Soul and funk octet. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm.

Giants Of Rare Groove Hits from the 1970s and 1980s, featuring Leroy Hutson. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£45.

Ihsahn Death and boundarypushing extreme metal from the Norwegian guitarist. The Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £17.50.

the music of Konitz, Tristano and Marsh. 606 Club, Lots Rd,

Kasabian Cocky indie-rock from the Brit Award-winning outfit. Brixton Academy, Stockwell

SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £8.

Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £27.50.

Boogie woogie pianist and singer Peter Gill and his group, State 51, play rock ’n’ roll.

Dirty South, Lee High Rd, SE13 5PR (020 8852 1267). £8.

Bridgehouse 2, Bidder St, E16 4ST (020 7474 3200). £8, adv £5.

Nathan Watson And Friends

Manteca, Martha Acosta Latin and salsa from the Colombian-based singer and band. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.

The Original Sinners, Long Way Home The Amershambased five-piece plays classic rock. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8.

Saint Jude, Casino, Tracie Hunter Band The London-based band plays swaggering soul-drenched rock. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0870 060 0100). £10.

Shed Seven Indie-rock from the reformed band from York. Islington Academy,

SUNDAY 22 Brothel Creepers, The Insults, Tecnoctitlan, Arcadia Lake Retro rock ’n’ roll from the Italian four-piece. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

Carlos And The Bandidos, Dollar Bill Rockabilly and country-rock from the London-based combo. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). £10.

Joe Longthorne The Hull-born, Blackpool-based pop and ballads singer performs songs and impersonations.

The Subways Indie-rock from the three-piece. Dirty

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£35.

South, Lee High Rd, SE13 5PR (020 8852 1267). £8, adv £6.

Stlight Manifesto Ska-

Toy Toy The London-based

rock and mariachi from the American outfit. Islington

trio plays electro-pop. Royal

the Australian singer-songwriter.

and Americana from the Austin, Texas-based singer. The

Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). £7.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15, adv £12.50.

Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £10.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

Caponata Restaurant, Delancey St, NW1 7NL (07971 851141). £10, adv £8.

N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Jess Klein Country-pop

Mick Thomas, Michael Barclay Folk and country from

The soul singer performs songs from his debut album, Student Of Life. The Forge Venue And

The Whisky Jax, I Love Zagreb, Cathy Jj, 7th Son Indie-rock from the Peterborough-based outfit. 229, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £8, concs £6.

Academy, N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £12.

TNT online For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

Eric Kayne

EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £8.

The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £5.

Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, free to diners before 10pm.

Tame Impala Psychedelic pop from the Melbourne-based combo. Cargo, Rivington St,

Ghost Writers Melodic rock from the Surrey-based band.

The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £5.

Our Lady J The New York-

W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £10.

Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £6, w/flyer £5.

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). £7, adv £5.

Grime and hip-hop from the London collective. Islington

rock with a retro feel from the San Francisco-based combo. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd,

Montreal-based quintet plays energetic indie-blues. Bull And

Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £20-£41.50.

Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). £12, concs £8.

Sleepy Sun Psychedelic

Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £12.

Final Flash, The Lovely Eggs, The Cursors The

the London-based five-piece.

Roll Deep, Ironik, Talay Riley, Fugitive, Byob

Dean St, W1D 3NE (020 7478 0100). £10-£17.50, concs £15 & £12.50.

Chas And His Band One half of the cult rock ’n’ roll duo plays songs from the pair’s repertoire accompanied by his backing outfit. Half Moon,

Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

the London-based five-piece.

The reeds player interprets the music of Dizzy Gillespie.

based songstress adopts the gospel genre for her piano-led melodic pop. Soho Theatre,

pop from the four-piece from New York. Cargo, Rivington St,

The Shotguns The four-piece

Richard Dutton And The So And So’s, Orphan Boy, Reverbed, Guilty Hands

from the Gothenburg-based band. Hoxton Square Bar And

Bear In Heaven Minimalist EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £8.50.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Junip Semi-acoustic alt rock

SATURDAY 21

CLUB LISTINGS MONDAY 16

The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 9pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £3.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R’n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7287 372). 10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Popcorn Dance, house, pop

Funk It Resident DJs play R’n’B, club classics and commercial dance. Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0870 863 1010). 9pm-3am. £12, £10 before 11pm, guestlist £8 before midnight.

LOVEBOX PRESENTS BOOKA SHADE HMV Forum, 9-17 Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY Kentish Town (020 7284 1001). Sep 10. £16.50 With more Booka Shade fans than space at Lovebox, the boys are back for their own show. “They have a lot more fans in London than we realised,” Lovebox said.

Glamorous The residents play funk, soul and disco. The Clapham Grand, St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT (020 7223 6523). 10pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm.

How Does It Feel To Be Loved? Ian Watson’s night of indie, girl-group classics and soul. The Phoenix, Cavendish Sq, W1G 0PP (020 7493 8003). 9pm-3am. £6, mems £4.

Inferno Andrew Elmore spins funk, house and dance. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm3am. £10, free before 11pm.

and R’n’B, plus a cinema and chill-out room. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-6am. £8, £2 before midnight.

Rehab DJs Val, Cheeky Pete Donaldson, Satoko, Haley and The Demonettes play indie, pop and electro. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.

Vodka Island Funky electro, house and chart courtesy of the residents. Tiger Tiger, Haymarket, SW1Y 4SP (020 7930 1885). 9pm-3am. £6, £5 before 10pm.

TUESDAY 17 Festa Fiesta Latin and samba from the resident DJs, plus salsa classes before 10pm. Fiesta Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7.30pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.

Replay Diego CK, Anto and

Diff’rent Strokes DJs Phat

Unbelievable David D

Cat, Zay London, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play neo soul, 1980s pop, US house, funk and R’n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester

and Eko play indie, pop and rock. The Borderline, Orange

Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950). 9pm-late. £10, £5 before 11pm.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Shadow Boxer Andrew Elmore spins 1980s dance and pop classics. The

Stupid Tuesday Funky and soulful house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977). 9pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

Scally Dandan and Jamie D Winter spin electro and fidget house. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004). 9pm-3am. £5, £3 before 11pm.

Yoyo DJs Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade, plus guest DJs Smasher and Mighty Moe play dub, hip-hop, R’n’B, pop and electro, with live performances from Zarif, Leanne Robinson and Rosanna. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

THURSDAY 19

FRIDAY 20

Boom Boom Club

Big Night Out DJs David, Jim

Rock ’n’ roll cabaret from host Dusty Limits, and burlesque from Miss Vicky Butterfly. The

and John play pop, indie, retro and rock. The Roxy, Rathbone

Bathhouse, Bishopsgate Churchyard, EC2M 3TJ (020 7920 9207). 7.30pm-late. £25, adv £7.

Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 5pm-3.30am. £9, NUS £5, £4 before 10.30pm, free before 8.30pm.

Calentito Pop, R’n’B, and Glitz & Glamour DJ Mark Bambach plays house, R’n’B and dance. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm, mems/guests free.

soul. Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

Frolic DJ StevieF spins party,

W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, free ladies before 10.30pm.

bachata and reggaeton. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7.30pm-late. £4, free before 9pm.

Larry’s, King’s Rd, SW10 0TZ (020 7376 5555). 10pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5 before midnight, guestlist free before 11pm.

The Phoenix, Cavendish Sq, W1G 0PP (020 7493 8003). 9pm-2am. £5.

Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

Therapy Electro-pop and dance from Kris Di Angelis. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £10, free before 11pm.

Urban Chic Resident DJs play R’n’B, hip-hop and funk. Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0870 863 1010). 10pm-3am. £10, £8 before 11pm.

Voix De Ville Resident DJs spin retro and underground vintage sounds, plus live swing and blues, with burlesque and cabaret entertainment. Proud Cabaret, Minster Ct, EC3R 7AA (020 7482 3867). 8pm-late. £10.

SATURDAY 21 Audio Sushi Indie, electro, house, drum ’n’ bass and hiphop from DJ Disastronaut. The Dogstar, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LQ (020 7733 7515). 7pm-4am. £5, free before 10pm.

Black & White Garbs Irish Pete and Rob Parish play house and techno. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10.30pm-4.30am. £15.

Psyrhythmix DJs spin

Tcherniak spins house and electro.

Club Aloha Le Frere Dangereux

psychedelic trance. Club

The Langley, Langley St, WC2H 9JA (020 7836 5005). 8pm-3am. £10, £5 before 9pm, free before 8pm.

spins funk, soul grooves, pop and dance classics. South London

and Olly play indie, punk, techno and electro. Madame Jo Jo’s,

Roller Disco Funk and

Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £6, adv £5.

disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance

WEDNESDAY 18

Rooms, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-midnight. £10, w/skates £7.50, NUS £5.

Agita Brasil Latin and

Smash & Grab Resident

samba from the resident DJs, plus dance classes before 10pm. Fiesta

DJs spin indie and pop. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £8, £5 before 10pm.

Latin Fever Latin tracks from resident DJ Jorge. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 7pm-2am. £10, £8 before 11pm, £4 before 9pm, £2 before 8pm.

Pacific, Kennington Rd, SE11 4LD (020 7820 9189). 7pm-3am. £5, £3 before 10pm, free before 9pm.

Tamarai, Drury Ln, WC2B 5PG (020 7831 9399). 10pm-3am. £15, guestlist £10 before 11.30pm.

spin current chart and indie. Salvador And Amanda,

Raj & Pablo’s Bollywood Nights The Bollywood IT Boys spin Bhangra, pop, Arabic and R’n’B. The Cobden Club, Kensal Rd, W10 5BN (020 7344 9727). 9pm1.30am. £15, £10 before 11pm.

Saints & Sinners Daniel Scott plays club classics, while resident DJs play indie and pop in the bar. The Watershed, The Broadway, SW19 1SD (020 8540 0080). 11pm-3am. £8, £7 before midnight.

Unbranded DJs Howie and Perry play commercial dance and R’n’B. Crazy Larry’s, King’s Rd, SW10 0TZ (020 7376 5555). 10pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5 before 11pm.

SUNDAY 22 Groove Sanctuary AfricanLatin, funk and deep house from DJ Jimbo, Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jo Jo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 9.30pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Jaded DJs Alex Kleve and Raymundo Rodriguez play house and techno. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 5pm1am. £12, guestlist £8, adv £5.

Roller Motion The residents play R’n’B electro, soul and funk.

Decadence DJs Shuff and Belle play glam rock and punk. St Moritz, Wardour St, W1F 8WL (020 7437 0525). 10pm-3.30am. £6, w/flyer/mems £5, free before 11pm.

Mode PR DJs VG, Shock, Bennie G, Supa Mann and Xavier Miller play R’n’B, hip-hop and house.

house, chart hits, pop and R’n’B. Oxygen Bar, Irving St, WC2H 7AZ (0208 123 2507). 9pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm, free before 10pm, guestlist free before 11pm.

Muy Gupo Resident DJs

Get Yourself Connected Nick

White Heat DJs Matty, Marcus

Love House Resident DJs spin

Soul Of The Sixties DJ Widakay plays Motown, soul and rock ’n’ roll, plus 1960s classics.

retro pop and cheese. Crazy

Latin Krazy Salsa, merengue,

414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm6am. £5, £3 before midnight.

Havana, Fulham Rd, SW6 5NH (020 7381 5005). 7pm-2am. £6.

Your Mum’s House

Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm, mems/guestlist free.

Steve Nocerino play deep house. The Den & Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 11pm-7am. Men £10, ladies £5.

Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-4am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3.

Society Resident DJ Woody plays funky house, electro, commercial R’n’B and club classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St,

Everybody Dance Resident DJs David and Andrew spin dance, club classics and 1970s disco. Up The Creek, Creek Rd, SE10 9SW (020 8858 4581). 11pm-2am. £8, w/flyer £4.

Renaissance Rooms, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 7pmmidnight. £11.50.

SLAGS/Chill-Out Dance anthems and commercial house from Simon Le Vans, Andy Almighty and Sean Sirrs. Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). 2pmmidnight. £8, £5 after 7.30pm.

WetYourSelf Cormac, Cheap$kates Old school hip-

Fizzy 5th Birthday Special

hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting,

guest LTJ Bukem plays drum ’n’ bass and dubstep.

Peter Pixzel and Jacob Husley play house, electro and techno Fabric, Charterhouse

Gramaphone, Commercial St, E1 6LT (020 7377 9337). 9pm-3.30am. £8.

St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-6am. £8, NUS £5.

Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7287 372). 9pm-3.30am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC & CLUBS

Bite DJs Lydia, Ian, Marcus and Peta spin electro, indie, disco, dubstep, hip-hop and pop.

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

news & sport

NEWS IN REVIEW

The week that was MONDAY

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY quote unquote “Long time, no see ... Are you brave enough to shake my hand?” Former Labor leader, and now Nine Network reporter, Mark Latham confronts Tony Abbott.

wrap up of last week’s events from australia, new zealand and south africa

“I am the Prime Minister of this country, I’m not a human interest story.” Julia Gillard objects to Latham’s appearance on the campaign trail.

AUSTRALIA Headless torso found Aboriginal elder Cheryl CarrollLagerwey, who claimed to know the whereabouts of missing Sydney girl Kiesha Abraham, instead uncovered a headless torso in bushland in Doonside, western Sydney. DNA tests would determine if it was the body of Kristi McDougall, 31, who was last seen in Homebush on June 19, after her father, Don McDougall, claimed it was his daughter’s body.

Murder trial continues A water polo champion with an

money or the box: Flanked by blonde bombshells, Australian businessman Dick Smith launches his £1m challenge to Australians under 30 to float ideas for stable population growth – since the politicians can’t. The country has an unsustainable “addiction to growth”, Smith said.

“overriding ambition” to compete in the Sydney Olympics murdered her newborn hours before socialising at a wedding, the NSW Supreme Court heard. Keli Lane, 35, pleaded not guilty to murdering two-day-old Tegan Lane on September 14, 1996. She maintained she handed Tegan over to the baby’s father, with whom Lane had a brief affair, for a “better chance in life” and believed the baby was alive.

‘Superbugs’ threaten

Keli Lane

Australia had its 89-year ban on importing New Zealand apples overturned, prompting doctors to warn that Australia risked

becoming a breeding ground for antibiotic-resistant bacteria, or ‘superbugs’. New Zealand apples are sprayed to prevent fire blight and Peter Collignon, professor of infectious diseases at Australian National University, said it was “critical” treated foods were not consumed by Australians.

A bridge not too far Lloyd Poulten, 83, set a record after making his 30th trek over Sydney’s Harbour Bridge. Over nine years, he had taken 150 photos, climbed 39,000 steps and spent more than 100 hours scaling the landmark.

*And finally … Poms easily lured

tntmagazine.com

vocations specifically targeted at enticing bored British shelf-stackers and pen-pushers, aged 18-30, to the state, where it was hoped they might just stay for good. The government promised the the “ultimate work-life balance … in stark contrast to the UK’s long working hours, high taxes and increasing retirement age”.

“People have become far more inhumane since I wrote this film.” Creator of controversial film The Nothing Men, Mark Fitzgerald, reckons it just depicts society in freefall. “When you start something, you have to finish it, don’t you? No point in getting out when it gets a bit tough.” Perth grandmother Sue Oldham becomes the oldest woman to swim the English Channel. TNT er h weat rt repo

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Adelaide

Brisbane

Darwin

Hobart

Melbourne

Perth

Sydney

Canberra

‘Harvest my poo, Pommie’

Getty Images, AAP Image/Jeremy Piper

Brits now have the opportunity to add ‘roo poo harvester’ or the more heroic-sounding ‘shark tagger’ to their CVs. They were just some of the fair dinkum jobs dreamed up by the South Australian government to lure Poms Down Under. Beer taster, koala catcher and builder of fairy penguin homes were the other off-the-wall

“People say, ‘Oh vigilante this, vigilante that’ – there has not been one vigilante attack in this country.” Broadcaster Derryn Hinch dismisses challenges to his campaign to scrap laws against revealing the address of sex offenders.

Leaders pitch plans

VICTORIA Perverts who spy on people in public toilets and those who film road accidents and bashings would be subjected to new criminal charges under a proposed beefing up of surveillance laws by the Victorian Law Reform Commission.

QUEENSLAND Xxx xxxxx xxx xxxxx x xxx xxxx Seeking votes: Abbott and Gillard

suspected the crowd was already biased towards him. Appealing to voters in the vital electoral battleground of western Sydney, Gillard said she was “determined” the 14km Parramatta to Epping link would go ahead and that the NSW Labor government, which broke a 1998 election promise to build it, would

contribute $520m. But the audience was cynical, with Kevin Rudd’s ousting still haunting Gillard, and her antigay marriage stance unpopular. Abbott was ridiculed over his poor grasp on technology after promising to replace Labor’s $43bn National Broadband Network with his lower-cost $6bn plan.

Getty Images

Gangster gunned down at home Lygon Street and through a park, before returning to the bar and murdering his second victim, Goran Vasic, 44. Adam Kosian, 52, of Brunswick East, was charged over the murders. “People are just freaked out,” Lygon Street cafe owner, Surbhi Puri said. Police, fearing another underworld war, were on high alert over the Chaouk slaying. A decade-long war ended only months ago with the prison death of Carl Williams. The Chaouk family is said to be engaged in a violent fued with the rival Haddara family.

A peckish outlaw, who held up a pizza delivery driver and demanded his dough – literally – was on the run. The hungry bandit confronted his victim at knifepoint at a Palm Beach house, and took off with the pizzas.

SOUTH AUSTRALIA Police were implicated in the death of a schizophrenic man who fled from mental health officials in Adelaide. The stress of being pepper-sprayed and handcuffed contributed to Ricky James Bais suffering a heart attack in August 2007, a coroner found.

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Police secure the home of slain crime boss Macchour Chaouk

Three men were jailed for the fatal stabbing of Jarred Alexander, 20, in Clarkson, north of Perth. Cheyne Mark Callaghan was sentenced to nine years, and Glen Barry Jennings and Patrick Bernard Rojas to four-anda-half years each for killing Alexander, who was an innocent bystander in a 2009 revenge killing.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ Juila Gillard tries to woo voters in marginal seats with a $2bn Sydney rail link. ■ It’s Labor’s biggest election promise, but doesn’t wash with cynical Sydneysiders. ■ Tony Abbott trumps Gillard in a televised people’s forum at Rooty Hill RSL.

Three people were killed and a fourth person was believed to have escaped a gunman in Melbourne, reviving fears of a new gangland war. A drive-by shooter gunned down crime family patriarch Macchour Chaouk on Friday morning through a fence of his Brooklyn home. His killer was still at large. By Friday afternoon, violence had exploded outside gaming bar, Players on Lygon, Carlton, when a gunman killed Boris Kostov, 60, with several shots in an unconnected incident. The gunman then chased another man across busy

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

rime Minister Julia Gillard unveiled Labor’s biggest election promise to date – a $2bn rail link in Western Sydney – as she pitched for votes in key marginal electorates at a televised people’s forum. But it was opposition leader Tony Abbott who won over the crowd at Rooty Hill RSL, at the event organised by News Ltd. A poll conducted after the pair were grilled by voters showed Abbott won the night 71 votes to 59, but some

AUSTRALIA

NEW ZEALAND

The week that was

news & sport

MONDAY

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY

Child actor dies in fire

4.1

Percentage fall in house prices by next June as predicted by a report prepared by business researcher Infometrics.

1.6

Ryall’s secret visits

Tony Ryall

a bit flat: A woman saddles up in the annual Boobs on Bikes parade in Auckland. The annual event features topless women on motorbikes to promote the Erotica adult entertainment show. This year there were fewer bikes and fewer boobs on display.

there to see what is happening,” the spokesman said.

Pilot’s body found Police believed an Air New Zealand pilot who went missing while trekking in Hong Kong collapsed from exhaustion after he lost his way. Stephen Morrissey’s body was found in dense bush 200m off the track on which he was walking, Radio New Zealand reported. Hong Kong chief inspector Maggie Sze said she believed Morrissey tried to take a short cut, got lost and collapsed from exhaustion.

Sir Ron remembered One of New Zealand’s leading businessmen, Sir Ron Trotter, died of cancer aged 82. Sir Ron held a series of impressive and important business posts during his life and was the first chairman of the New Zealand Business Roundtable, a director of the Reserve Bank and chairman of Telecom. Prime Minister John Key paid tribute to Trotter: “His knighthood for services to business was a well-deserved recognition of the substantial difference Sir Ron made to business in New Zealand.”

9000

Potential amount, in dollars, the government claims families could save each year due to a new ‘income splitting’ tax.

164

Speed in kilometres per hour that a drunk driver in the Bay of Plenty was clocked driving. He later unsuccessfully tried to hide from the police by pulling into a driveway.

4.37m

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Little hair-raiser

Auckland

Wellington

Christchurch

Dunedin

Getty Images, TNT Images

tntmagazine.com

and asked: “Is that a wig? I hope it is.” Olivia replied, saying it was not a wig, to which Osborne posted: “Well, you better decide, miss. Hand over your crown with an attitude like that. I’m sure someone will step into your place with manners.” Olivia claims Osborne told her she “would not go far in this world”.

Percentage rise of food prices according to the latest Food Price Index from Statistics New Zealand shows.

Current population of New Zealand, after growth of 1.2 per cent in the year to June 3, according to Statistics New Zealand.

*And finally … dyed wondering Teen beauty Olivia O’Neil was forced to hand back her crown after a Facebook spat over dyeing her hair. Olivia, 15, had been Miss Teen Wanganui for three months when she posted a new profile image on her Facebook page showing newly dyed dark brown hair. Pageant organiser Barbara Osborne saw the picture online

1200

Skiers forced to spend the night on Mt Hutt due to very high winds.

Aspiring young Kiwi actor Eitan Djiji, who was on life support after being rescued from a fire at his Los Angeles home, died. The 14-year-old former Prebbleton School pupil was pulled unconscious from the top floor of his family’s burning two-storey house after his mother, father and younger sister fled the early morning blaze. A family friend said the family had moved to the US about four years ago.

Health minister Tony Ryall made several ‘mystery shopper’ visits to hospital emergency departments to see how they were coping with patients. Cutting waiting times has been one of Ryall’s six priority health targets and a spokesman confirmed the minister checked out progress personally without the knowledge of hospital bosses. “If he’s visiting a city he will sometimes duck into emergency departments and talk to patients

WEEK IN NUMBERS

Clark: UN outdated

UPPER NORTH ISLAND Tauranga could be the site of a $20m dairy processing plant. Chinese company Natural Diary Holdings backed the purchase of 16 Crafar dairy farms. The plant could mean more than 90 new jobs in the town. Mover and shaker: Helen Clark

there would not be agreement on the current structure,” she said. Clark also proposed stronger ties between the influential G20 group of 20 leading economies and the United Nations. “When countries representing more than 80 per cent of the world’s economy decide on a course of action, that inevitably has impacts on those not present – made up of close to 170 nations including

New Zealand,” she said. She also called for the global economic governance system established at the end of the Second World War – which created the World Bank and International Monetary Fund – to be updated. Clark also told her audience that in tackling problems, far too often national concerns prevented agreement on taking the action required by the world as a whole.

Getty Images

‘Passionate’ soldier farewelled Lieutenant Tim O’Donnell, the young New Zealand soldier slain thousands of kilometres from home, was farewelled by an estimated 2000 friends, family and comrades at Linton Military Camp near Palmerston North. O’Donnell, 28, was killed when his patrol was attacked while on a routine patrol in the Bamiyan province in northeastern Afghanistan. He was the first New Zealand soldier to die in combat since 2000. O’Donnell’s commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Hugh McAslan, said the brave

soldier was not religious but had a strong set of personal beliefs, such as loyalty, honesty and what was right and wrong. “He believed strongly in his role as a soldier. He was a commander and a leader and was passionate about his career as a soldier.” Prime Minister John Key said the New Zealand Army had lost a fine young officer, his family had lost a son and brother, and his comrades a good mate. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard and British Prime Minister David Cameron also expressed their sympathies.

LOWER NORTH ISLAND The son a Hells Angels gang leader will stand for Whanganui District Council – with the backing of Mayor Michael Laws. Jack Bullock, 20, currently co-chairman of the Whanganui Youth Council, will stand in the October election. Bullock said he supported the council’s controversial antigang legislation even though it barred his father from displaying his gang insignia in public.

UPPER SOUTH ISLAND A snowboarder with serious head injuries was airlifted from Mt Hutt to Christchurch Hospital. The young Christchurch man was snowboarding off-piste when he lost his balance.

LOWER SOUTH ISLAND

Mourners farewell Tim O’Donnell

A 52-year-old man was charged with stealing a fossilised dinosaur egg from Dunedin’s Otago Museum. The hadrosaur egg was 65145 million years old. It was returned undamaged after it was left in a bag at the city’s Central Police Station.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ Former NZ prime minister Helen Clark suggests urgent reform of United Nations. ■ She urges stronger connection between the G20 and UN. ■ Clark says too often national concerns prevent important international action from taking place.

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

ormer prime minister Helen Clark is calling for a major rethink about leading multilateral institutions including the United Nations, where she is No 3 in command. The New Zealand Herald reported that Clark suggested in a speech in Wellington that the UN Security Council was in need of urgent reform and that the veto power – by five permanent members – was a blockage. “If one began on the task of designing the council today,

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

The week that was

news & sport

MONDAY

» TUESDAY » WEDNESDAY » THURSDAY » FRIDAY » SATURDAY » SUNDAY

Street kids targeted Police and social development groups planned to clamp down on beggars in Pretoria who used their children as emotional bait. Under a new proposal, children would be taken into custody and only returned to their parents when they could prove they could sufficiently look after them.

“Where are my notes? Are they also gone on strike?” Judge Frans Kgomo in Joburg High Court jokes about the public sector strikes.

Auto workers on strike The National Union of Metalworkers of South Africa, representing 31,000 employees in the car industry began an ongoing strike over a wage dispute. They were demanding a 15 per cent pay increase. The lost production cost the industry more than 2100 vehicles each day. . Toyota Motor Corp and General Motors Co were two of the companies forced to shut their South African plants.

Water shortage worry The nation’s water supply, which was crucial to the economic development of South Africa, would dry out within five years

Buyelwa Sonjica

demanding a better deal: Members of the Quad Para Association demonstrate against the Road Accident Fund Amendment Act, which restricts road accident victims’ access to compensation for “a lifetime of pain and suffering”.

without any intervention, according to The Environmental Handbook: A Guide to Green Business in South Africa, published by sustainable business experts Trialogue. The book warned the nation was at “crux point with water, with only 2 per cent of supply in reserve”. Meanwhile, Water and Environmental Affairs Minister Buyelwa Sonjica announced the establishment of environmental courts to punish those caught polluting depleted supplies. “There is concern about the impact of deteriorating water quality on agriculture,” she said.

ANC challenged The Democratic Alliance threatened to challenge what it described as an increasing drive by the ruling African National Congress party to centralise government. A string of proposed reforms, such as the state security bill and the protection of information bill “undermine the spirit of the constitution”, said DA leader Athol Trollip, who vowed to take the challenge to court. The reforms would allow the government to clamp down on dissent and give them unfettered access access to state funds, Trollip said.

*And finally … big game hunting

tntmagazine.com

honeymoon, according to The Huffington Post. The newlyweds were expected to experience the thrill of being up close to the big five on a safari. The pair exchanged nuptials a fortnight ago in a star-studded ceremony in Rhinebeck, New York, in front of a celeb-filled crowd, including Ted Danson and Oprah Winfrey.

“Some of the faeces went into my mouth.” A female warder at Krugersdorp Prison had excrement poured over her head by an inmate during a spate of abuses which were being investigated. “They turned into virtual thugs, who turned the holy place into hell.” A churchgoer on witnessing two pastors scuffle in a leadership row at the Presbyterian Church of Africa in Gugulethu, Cape Town. “They must not be tenderpreneurs; tenderpreneurs are corrupt people.” Deputy police minister Fikile Mbalula warns against ANC members securing government tenders by default.

TNT er th weaport re

Avg min Avg max

Johannesburg 4

Cape Town

Durban

East London 14

Pretoria

‘Got a cigar?’

Bloemfontein 2

Port Elizabeth 11

SAPA, Getty Images

It remained to be seen if paparazzi were willing to risk life and limb in the South African jungle chasing lucrative pictures of Chelsea Clinton and her new husband, Marc Mezvinsky. Mezvinsky and Chelsea, the only child of former US president Bill Clinton and his wife, secretary of state Hillary, were going into the wild for their

quote unquote “He has blood like we have blood; he has a big family like we do; he has children to feed like we do. Our needs are the same.” General secretary of Cosatu, Zwelinzima Vavi, wants Jacob Zuma to agree to the wage demands of civil servants.

Workers strike again

KWAZULUNATAL Swimming and surfing was banned along Durban’s coast for the fourth week in a row due to the annual sardine run. It was the longest period of time they had stayed in decades.

NORTH WEST

Strike force: Pretorian workers demand better conditions

hospitals, public offices and the police were left short-staffed. The unions – normally a key ally of the ANC – and the government were deadlocked over demands for an 8.6 per cent wage increase and R1000 housing subsidy. Zwelinzima Vavi, general secretary of Cosatu, which represents 1.3 million workers,

warned of further action, describing the latest strike as simply a “warning shot.” The government said it was not possible to meet the unions’ demands without cutting other services. It already faced public pressure to expand access to running water and electricity in poor neighbourhoods.

Getty Images, SAPA

Gold mine massacre suspected himself by hiding in the mine’s corridors and playing dead. Police, who launched a murder investigation into the deaths, confirmed that security guards had earlier arrested five people in the mine who were in possession of gold and digging equipment, but were unaware of the deaths. Aurora boss Thulani Ngubane said the soldiers were often confronted by illegal miners in “ugly” scenes. The mine is owned by the nephew of President Jacob Zuma, Khulubuse Zuma, and Nelson Mandela’s grandson, Zondwa Mandela.

National defence force soldiers, Sekuke Kgampe, 39, Rapula Maidi, 37, and Lesenyego Santho, 36, were arrested over the theft of a diesel tanker from the Potchefstroom defence force base. They were alleged to have delivered the diesel to a prospective buyer. Businessman Radinamane Mosiane was also arrested.

GAUTENG The government pledged to save the lives of women through a public awareness campaign about reproductive health, mother-to-baby Aids transmission and neo-natal death prevention. Premier Nomvula Mokonyane described the campaign as a step towards the “full emancipation of women”.

WESTERN CAPE

Security guards are being blamed for up to 20 deaths

Two men and a woman died when their car, which got stuck on a railway track, was hit by a passenger train in De Doorns near Cape Town. The car was dragged 50m. Three female passengers and a three-year-old boy were injured.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

■ Millions of civil servants nationwide involved in a strike affecting public services. ■ Workers, demanding better wages, dance and sing national and communist anthems in the streets. ■ The government says it can’t meet pay demands.

Police recovered four bodies from a shaft at the Aurora Grootvlei gold mine on Thursday after being alerted by a newspaper. However, relatives and friends of as many as 20 missing illegal miners claimed the bodies of their loved ones were decomposing in the shaft. The Sowetan newspaper reported that security guards went on a killing spree three days earlier, leaving the bodies to rot underground. A survivor who said he lost two brothers in the massacre, told the newspaper he only managed to evade death

COAST TO COAST What’s happening across the country

SUMMARY

ublic services were crippled across the country as more than a million government workers staged a day-long strike – the second in as many weeks. The latest action, organised by the Congress of South African Trade Unions, featured thousands of civil servants marching through Pretoria and Cape Town in a defiant move which affected most public services. Workers danced and sang national and communist anthems in the streets as schools were closed and

SOUTH AFRICA

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Sporting week MONDAY

RUGBY LEAGUE Melbourne Storm centre Greg Inglis announces he will join the Brisbane Broncos next season. Serves Melbourne right. That’s what happens when you cheat the salary cap.

TUESDAY

CRICKET New Zealand make a flying start to the triangular ODI series in Sri Lanka, belting India by 200 runs in Dambulla. The Kiwis set a target of 288, before bowling India out for just 88.

WEDNESDAY

AFL Australia’s Channel Seven releases clips from Ben Cousins’ documentary detailing his struggles with drug addiction, which the network plans to screen on grand final day.

THURSDAY

RUGBY LEAGUE North Queensland Cowboys forward Willie Mason is keen to move to Super League next year. The 30-year-old wants Hull KR or Huddersfield to put an offer on the table.

FRIDAY

BASKETBALL Australia will compete in the world titles in Turkey, beginning August 28, without NBA star Andrew Bogut and fellow big man Nathan Jawai, who are both unavailable.

SATURDAY

FOOTBALL Having stonewalled Socceroos goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer’s request for a move to Arsenal, Fulham manager Mark Hughes concedes the Aussie may yet end up in north London.

SUNDAY

ON BOX THE

MONDAY FOOTBALL Man United v Newcastle What an upset it would be 8pm Sky Sports 1

ON THE

BOX

TUESDAY TENNIS Cincinatti Masters The US Open ain’t far off 4pm Sky Sports 3

ON THE

BOX

WEDNESDAY CRICKET England v Pakistan The third Test gets under way 10.30am Sky Sports 1

BOX

ON THE

ATHLETICS Aussie long jumper Fabrice Lapierre – the world indoor champion – is considering skipping the Commonwealth Games, citing concerns over security, among other factors.

never know “I You might come back down here after a two-year stint

”

Greg Inglis leaves the door open for a return to Melbourne. He’s clearly super-committed to the Broncos.

THURSDAY BASEBALL NY Yankees v Detroit The Yankees are humming 5pm ESPN America FRIDAY RUGBY UNION New Zealand v South Africa Women’s World Cup 4pm Sky Sports 2 SATURDAY RUGBY UNION South Africa v New Zealand The Tri-Nations resumes 3.30pm Sky Sports 4 SUNDAY FOOTBALL Fulham v Man United The Cottage will be heaving 3.30pm Sky Sports 1

PUB TALK: BRITISH SPORT EXPLAINED

Getty Images

Martin O’Neill What’s happened? The Irishman quit as Aston Villa’s manager just days before the start of the new season because he was sick of being forced by the club’s owner to sell his best players to fill the coffers. What’s O’Neill’s background? The Irishman played for Nottingham Forest from 1971-81. It was a golden

era for the club and O’Neill’s was heavily influenced by his manager at Forest, the great Brian Clough. Is O’Neill a big loss for Villa? Massive. O’Neill achieved three straight top-six finishes and the next manager will struggle to match that. Had O’Neill bailed earlier, Liverpool and Fulham would have been all over him.

tntmagazine.com

NEWS & SPORT

Tom Sturrock picks his winners and losers

rugby

NEWS & SPORT

Cooper eyes code switch

Despite Australian fly-half Quade Cooper claiming he is considering switching to the NRL, both ARU boss John O’Neill and Wallabies coach Robbie Deans insist the talented 22-year-old will be staying put.

Cooper is apparently unhappy with his ARUsupplemented wage and his management has reportedly spoken to the Parramatta Eels. “I enjoy watching the NRL and wouldn’t rule it out. Right now, I’m playing rugby, that’s my focus,” Cooper said. “I don’t know what’s going on.” According to O’Neill and Deans – two men determined to keep Cooper in union – the story is little more than brinkmanship and media confection. “There is no dalliance with league,” Deans said. “Quade has expressed to us that not only does he love what he does but he wants to continue doing it and, personally, I’m

Quade Cooper in action for Australia

vickerman to return The Australian Rugby Union confirmed lock Dan Vickerman has signed to return in time for next year’s World Cup. The 31-year-old played 55 Tests for Australia before heading to England in 2008 to study agricultural economics at Cambridge.

pretty confident that will be the case.” O’Neill was even more emphatic about the talent. “Quade’s a rising star,” he said, “a young man at the start of his career – why would you go to rugby league?” Indeed, Cooper shouldn’t expect the Eels players to be rolling out the welcome mat too soon, with Parramatta cocaptain Nathan Hindmarsh particularly cold on the idea. “I’d like to stick with someone in the league ranks,” Hindmarsh said. “I suppose it’s a bit of a bargaining chip for Quade himself, isn’t it?”

Women’s World Cup kicking off

South Africa have ruled injured full-back François Steyn out of this weekend’s Tri-Nations clash with New Zealand, and Boks coach Peter de Villiers has indicated Steyn might not be properly committed to representing his country. De Villiers wants to ascertain whether Steyn, who is based in Paris, indeed wants to play for South Africa, saying he wanted to see the medical report from France proving Steyn was unavailable, in order to be able “to come to bigger and better conclusions”. De Villiers said of the problems associated with retaining overseas-based players that “it sometimes places one in the position where your way of thinking is probably influenced in the

New Zealand’s women’s rugby team, the Black Ferns, are heading to England quietly confident of their chances of winning a fourth successive women’s rugby World Cup title, despite going in cold. New Zealand face South Africa in Guildford on Saturday – their first Test since a two-match series against England last November. Skipper Melissa Ruscoe said she and her teammates, who flew out over the weekend, were well aware of the big step up from club to Test level. “In some ways, you could say we’re under-done,” the Canterbury flanker said. “We’ve not had the preparation we would have liked, but we’ve pretty much done what we can with what we’ve got.”

François Steyn

tntmagazine.com

wrong direction, as is only human. Does he want to be here or not? “On the one hand, we know that the pace of the game here is better. But then there is the question about the character’s attitude towards the Springbok jersey. “In such situations, you cannot find out what the real situation is, and it worries me because I would like to see a team that feels strongly about representing the country. “Therefore, I want to see the medical records as soon as possible to come to bigger and better conclusions.” South Africa will be hoping for their first win in this year’s Tri-Nations series.

ON THE BOX saturday 3.30pm Sky Sports 4 south africa v new zealand

Getty Images

Absent Steyn irritates De Villiers

NRL

ROUND 23

He is “ the buy of

NEWS & SPORT

the year for anyone I think … He’s been a great get for us

”

Titans coach John Cartwright after new recruit Steve Michaels starred against the Cowboys.

THE PLAYER

Nathan Cayless EELS The veteran prop made history against the Broncos, becoming the most capped first-grade skipper in history with 217 appearances. Cayless has also gone into bat for besieged coach Daniel Anderson, who has reportedly lost the faith of the Eels board.

Jarryd Hayne grabs Israel Folau

Eels shock Broncos Broncos 14 J Hoffman B Te’o J Yow Yeh tries C Parker goal

Team Dragons Titans Tigers Panthers Roosters Warriors Sea Eagles Broncos Rabbitohs Eels Raiders Knights Bulldogs Sharks Cowboys Storm*

P 20 21 21 21 21 21 20 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 21

D Collis N Gardner B Pomeroy tries L Covell 3 goals

W 14 13 13 12 12 12 11 11 10 10 10 9 7 6 5 12

L 6 8 8 9 9 9 9 9 11 11 11 12 14 15 16 9

PD PTS 191 32 24 30 23 30 76 28 32 28 10 28 76 26 33 26 59 24 -54 24 -56 24 -58 22 -47 18 -211 16 -186 14 88 0

* Storm unable to earn any points for the season as punishment for salary cap breaches

L Burt J Hayne K Inu A Mitchell J Reddy tries L Burt 5 goals

12 Roosters B Anasta S Kenny-Dowall tries T Carney 2 goals

Second-half tries from full-back Nathan Gardner and Dean Collis allowed the Sharks to overturn a 12-6 half-time deficit and notch a second win over the Roosters this season. It also handed coach Shane Flanagan his first win since replacing Ricky Stuart last month. Bulldogs 14 B Goodwin J Tia-Kilifi A Ryan tries B Goodwin goal

28 Raiders J Croker J Dugan J McCrone A Tongue D Vidot tries J Croker 4 goals

Breakaway tries in the second half from the impressive Jarrod Croker, Josh McCrone and Daniel Vidot helped the Raiders come from behind to win – after the Bulldogs held a 14-12 lead at half-time – and preserve their hopes of a return to finals football this year. Storm 18

Sunday night game

30 Eels

Needing to win to keep in touch with the top eight, Parramatta held off the Broncos in an entertaining clash. A spectacular individual try by veteran winger Luke Burt in the 72nd minute, after he chipped over the head of Brisbane full-back Josh Hoffman, stretched Sharks 18

THE TABLE

R Hinchcliffe 2 B Slater tries C Smith 3 goals

16 Rabbitohs N Merritt 2 L Capewell tries C Sandow 2 goals

the Eels’ lead to 24-14 before rookie Anthony Mitchell finished the job with a try on debut in the final minute. Parramatta’s blue-and-yellow wall hung on desperately in the second half, denying Brisbane forward Sam Thaiday a try with four minutes remaining. Parramatta deserved the win with lock Feleti Mateo outstanding in attack along with full-back Jarryd Hayne. Titans 37 S Michaels 2 L Bailey N Friend M Minichiello S Prince tries S Prince 6 goals S Prince field goal

18 Cowboys T Williams 2 A Watts tries J Williams 3 goals

Titans veteran Preston Campbell defied illness to short-circuit a brave Cowboys comeback, setting up two tries in three minutes after the Cowboys had closed to within one point in the second half. The Titans have now won four games straight and a top-four finish beckons. Warriors 22 M Vatuvei 3 B Tupou tries J Maloney 3 goals

10 Knights D Tolar C Vuna tries K Gidley goal

Hulking Warriors winger Manu Vatuvei put Newcastle’s season to bed with a powerhouse three-try performance in his side’s win at Mt Smart Stadium. Vatuvei also ran down Newcastle speedster Akuila Uate to save a try when the match was evenly poised. Tigers 43 G Ellis 2 A Fifita 2 R Farah C Lawrence R Lui tries B Marshall 7 goals R Farah field goal

18 Panthers M Gordon M Jennings F Pritchard tries M Gordon 3 goals

Getty Images

Dragons v Sea Eagles

Round 24 games

Panthers v Rabbitohs, Knights v Broncos, Sea Eagles v Warriors, Storm v Sharks, Raiders v Dragons, Cowboys v Bulldogs, Eels v Tigers, Roosters v Titans

Two tries by Souths winger Nathan Merritt – the second in the 72nd minute was the 100th of his career – set up a heart-stopping finale as the Rabbitohs tried to claw their way into the lead but time ran out and the Bunnies’ finals aspirations took a serious hit.

Englishman Gareth Ellis bagged a second-half double to lead the Tigers to a runaway win over Penrith. Ellis terrorised the Panthers’ right side defence, scything through to score in the 58th and 70th minutes to ensure the Tigers’ top-four hopes remain on track.

tntmagazine.com

AFL

ROUND 20

James Kelly fires off a handball

We were “ obviously

NEWS & SPORT

beaten by an extremely good side … but it was humiliating

”

Bulldogs coach Rodney Eade after his side’s 101-point loss.

THE PLAYER

Ryan O’Keefe

Cats send message Bulldogs 9.6.60 D Giansiracusa 3 B Hall 2 L Jones 2 L Gilbee R Griffen

25.11.161 Cats S Johnson 5 J Podsiadly 3 G Ablett 3 T Varcoe 3 S Byrnes 2 C Mooney 2 J Selwood 2 P Chapman 2 B Ottens D Menzel M Stokes

Having lost to Collingwood a week earlier, the Cats responded ferociously against the Bulldogs, delivering a 101-point thrashing and a timely reminder that the road to the flag still runs through the reigning premiers. Given the quality of the opposition – the Bombers 10.4.64 A Monfries 2 J Melksham 2 C Dempsey J Carlisle J Neagle D Hille P Ryder T Colyer

24.18.162 Magpies T Cloke 5 B Macaffer 3 L Brown 3 A Didak 2 C Dawes 2 D Jolly 2 D Swan 2 J Blair 2 D Beams D Thomas H Shaw

After a tight opening, the Magpies swamped the Bombers, booting 12 out of 13 goals either side of quarter-time to kill the Essendon challenge. Travis Cloke’s goal-kicking woes persisted, however, the Collingwood forward booting five behinds to go with his five goals. Dockers 13.9.87 K Bradley 2 M Walters 2 P Hasleby 2 A McPhee A Morabito B Schammer G Broughton M De Boer M Johnson N Suban

14.12.96 Swans B McGlynn 3 T Dennis-Lane 2 J Moore J White K Jack L Jetta M Mattner M Pyke P Bevan R O’Keefe S Mumford

In one of the most exciting games of the season, the lead changed five times in the last quarter, the Swans kicking two goals in the final three minutes to snatch a crucial win that all but ensures they will play finals. Swans young gun Daniel Hannebery starred with 38 touches. Lions 13.19.97 M Clark 5 B Staker J Patfull J Polkinghorne L Power P Hanley R Harwood S Black T Banfield

15.14.104 Crows K Tippett 5 J Porplyzia 3 R Douglas 2 R Henderson 2 J Sellar N van Berlo P Davis

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Blues 23.18.156 J Garlett 4 J Waite 4 L Henderson 3 E Betts 2 H Scotland 2 M Murphy 2 R Warnock J Russell C Judd M Robinson R Hadley S Grigg

10.7.67 Tigers J Riewoldt 2 A Collins A Graham B Cousins B Nason D Jackson D Martin J King J Post

Carlton set up an easy win over Richmond, with seven unanswered goals in the second quarter, before banging on a further nine in the final term. Blues skipper Chris Judd was best afield, while his former teammate Ben Cousins played a lone hand for the Tigers. Power 8.13.61 B Ebert 2 C Hitchcock 2 R Gray J Davenport J Schulz J Westhoff

8.12.60 Eagles A Strijk 3 A Selwood C Wilson J Kennedy L Shuey M Rosa

The Eagles charged back from 23 points down early in the final term, booting the last four goals of the game to tie the scores. But a snap from David Rodan, with less than a minute to play, registered a behind and ensured Port Adelaide prevailed by the narrowest margin. Hawks 15.9.99 L Franklin 3 X Ellis 3 C Peterson 2 J Roughead 2 L Hodge 2 C Brown R Hooper S Burgoyne

12.6.78 Demons B Green 2 L Jurrah 2 M Jamar 2 A Wonaeamirri C Bruce C Sylvia J Trengove J Watts L Dunn

Hawthorn took another step toward securing a finals berth by beating Melbourne, and killed off the Demons’ chances of September action in the process. The lead changed four times in the third quarter before a run of three goals to the Hawks gave them some breathing space.

THE LADDER Team Magpies Cats Saints Bulldogs Dockers Blues Swans Hawks Roos Demons Crows Power Bombers Lions Tigers Eagles

P 20 20 19 20 20 20 20 20 19 20 20 20 20 20 20 20

W 16 15 13 13 12 11 11 10 9 8 8 8 7 6 6 4

L 3 5 5 7 8 9 9 9 10 11 12 12 13 14 14 16

D 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0

% 146 147 122 130 110 112 104 105 87 96 93 79 81 81 71 78

PTS 66 60 54 52 48 44 44 42 36 34 32 32 28 24 24 16

Sunday night game Roos v Saints

ON THE BOX FRIDAY 10.30am ESPN CATS V BLUES

SUNDAY 5am ESPN BOMBERS V LIONS

Other Round 21 games Saints v Tigers, Hawks v Dockers, Magpies v Crows, Swans v Bulldogs, Power v Demons, Eagles v Roos

Getty Images

The Lions acquitted themselves better than expected, given the absence of skipper Jon Brown, but paid dearly for their inaccuracy after coughing up 21-point lead in the first half. Scores were tied at the last change, but the Crows managed to sneak home.

Dogs had won five games on the trot and remain likely preliminary finalists – Geelong’s performance was arguably the most impressive of the season, from any team. From midway through the first term to early in the third, the Cats piled on 14 unanswered goals. Geelong star Gary Ablett returned to some of his best form, leading a dominant engine room with 39 touches and three goals.

SWANS The Swans veteran was well-held for most of the match against the Dockers but intervened decisively in the final minute. After the Swans worked the ball forward from their own defence, O’Keefe took a fantastic grab in the pocket and kicked the winning goal from a tight angle.

cricket

NEWS & SPORT

Kiwis stumble against hosts

New Zealand failed to kick on from their barnstorming 200-run win over India in their opening match of the triangular ODI series in Sri Lanka, slumping to a threewicket defeat to the hosts in their second match.

The Kiwis won the toss and chose to bat but lost Martin Guptill to the second delivery of the match. Despite a composed half-century from rookie opener BJ Watling, the New Zealand innings never developed much momentum – Sri Lankan bowlers Lasith Malinga and Angelo Mathews holding sway and finishing with three wickets each. Eventually, the Kiwis were all out for 192 – a total that was always going to prove hard to defend. Certainly, Sri Lanka were cruising at 3-162 in the 47th over before a flurry of wickets injected some belated, unexpected drama. Sri Lanka lost 4-18 in two

Daryl Tuffey gets clean-bowled

nz boss INTO icc role The International Cricket Council has confirmed New Zealand Cricket chairman, Alan Isaac, as its new vice-president. Isaac will take up the position later this month after ICC member nations rejected Australia and New Zealand’s original nomination of former Aussie prime minister John Howard.

overs, raising the possibility of an unlikely Kiwi victory. In the end, though, their total proved at least 30 runs shy of truly competitive. “We were outplayed in all facets. We picked up three or four wickets when they went for bonus points which made it appear a lot closer than it was,” stand-in skipper Ross Taylor said after the match. “Watling played well. When you are facing Malinga for the first time, it can’t get easy.”

Aussie players reject shake-up

tntmagazine.com

2011 World Cup in India and Sri Lanka early next year. Ricky Ponting, unbeaten as a World Cup captain, was not in favour of the alterations and the Australian Cricketers’ Association (ACA) claimed 78 per cent of its surveyed members were against the new format. “This process has been difficult to comprehend and players are very disappointed,” ACA boss Paul Marsh said. “The one-day format has had its recent challenges and as a collective they want to help. However, the players don’t believe the split-innings format is the best solution.”

Victoria have lost the tug-ofwar for the services of their captain, Cameron White, for the Indian Champions League T20 tournament, which begins on September 10. White is tied to his IPL franchise, Bangalore Royal Challengers, so will be unable to lead Victoria. “Obviously I’m disappointed I won’t be available to play for my home team,” White said. “I have no doubt they will progress far in the competition – they have a talented bunch of guys playing for them.” Victoria will, however, receive US$200,000 from Bangalore in compensation.

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Ricky Ponting

Australian domestic teams will this summer play a splitinnings, 45-over format which promises to be either a bold innovation or an embarrassing experiment. Innings will be divided into two blocks – the first of 20 overs and the second of 25 overs. Teams will earn a bonus point for taking a first-innings lead in the match, even if they go on to lose overall, and bowlers will be able to bowl a maximum of 12 overs, rather than the traditional 10. Crucially, the shake-up will force teams to play a brand of cricket different to the 50-over game that will be played at the

Victoria to miss captain in India

GENERAL Sally Pearson has made a stunning return

THE QUOTES

“He’ll bring something to the table. Cluedo, perhaps.” Shane Warne gets stuck into former coach John Buchanan, who will be consulting for the Poms during the Ashes.

Pearson in good nick Australian hurdler Sally Pearson continued her strong form at the Aviva Grand Prix in London, coming second in her specialist 100m event.

Pearson, who won the silver medal at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, has barely competed since suffering a back injury in the lead-up to last year’s world championships, but her impressive return augurs well

for the Commonwealth Games later this year. “I am trying to keep it cool and trying not to be too excited,” she said. “I have just come back and this is my fourth competition in a year, so I am just taking it easy.” It was a sorry night for reigning Olympic pole vault champion Steve Hooker, who made his first competitive appearance in a month.

Hooker failed to clear his opening height of 5.51m but masked his disappointment with talk of better times ahead. “It doesn’t help when you have to sit in the grandstand and watch the rain for 20 minutes,” lamented Hooker. “I guess I’ve just got to put it down to a bad day.” “I’m confident there’s nothing serious wrong and I’ll bounce back.”

Getty Images

Socceroos fail to impress Osieck

Holger Osieck

Just 24 hours after being announced as the new coach of the Socceroos, Holger Osieck sat in the stands as a young Australian side lost 2-0 to Slovenia in Ljubljana. Osieck, replacing Pim Verbeek following Australia’s mediocre showing in the World Cup, must rebuild the Socceroos for the 2014 World Cup qualifiers and, more immediately, the Asian Cup in Qatar in January. Fortunately, the 61-year-old is not a man who shies away from a challenge. Certainly, he has his work cut out over the next four years. “I think, first and foremost, it’s the players who make

“Doing my community service gave me a lot of time for self-reflection. I realised I had done something wrong, and if you do the crime you’ve got to do the time, so I accepted that.” NRL player Anthony Cherrington did community service after assaulting his girlfriend. And now he’s Gandhi. “There’s something special about Tim. He lives in a world of perpetual wonder. I reckon he still believes in Santa Claus and probably cries at Forrest Gump.” Everton club chairman Bill Kenwright on Socceroos star Tim Cahill (below).

HOLGER WHO? Despite never playing a top-flight Bundesliga match, Osieck was the assistant manager of the German side that won the 1990 World Cup. In 2000, he guided Canada to victory in the regional CONCACAF Gold Cup before working for Fifa as head of its technical department.

a system and I want to have a look at the quality of the players, the capacity of each of them and from there we go,” Osieck said. “A new cycle has started. I have high expectations. I am the kind of person who wants to win.”

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NEWS & SPORT

“David Gallop seems a nice bloke but I wouldn’t employ him to sweep the streets of Gladstone, where I live now.” Kiwi rugby league legend Mark Graham takes a swipe at the NRL boss.

CAREERS & MONEY 48

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CAREERS CAREERS & MONEY

heart wasn’t really in it, so when a job came up in the Topdeck reservations team, I jumped at it. What do you do day-to-day?

ON THE JOB BILLY STEWART Career Topdeck Travel Reservations Age 27 Lives Fulham From Derrinallum, Australia

After loads of caffeine I manage bookings, make new bookings and deal directly with travel agents and Topdeck customers. Every day is a bit different – whether we are making a new booking, or helping someone change an existing reservation, or even just giving out information to people who are thinking about doing a trip. What’s the best thing about your job?

The team in the Topdeck office know how to work hard and play hard. And the road crew, though they aren’t in London much, are great fun as well.

Tourism jobs wane

How did you get into your line of work?

What’s the most challenging thing about your job?

I worked as a travel agent for STA Travel in Australia and loved selling Topdeck trips to our customers. When I moved to London I worked for a few other travel companies, but my

Coming to work after a big night out and being perky can be a bit of a struggle – especially if the reservations team has to deal with a particularly difficult person.

OFFICE GURU Samantha Baden TACKLES YOUR CAREER DRAMAS

Australian Tourist Commission

How can working flexibly benefit me? Having the option to vary your working hours contributes directly to your feelings of wellbeing. Hays’ Catherine Goosem says recent research shows the main reason workers use flexible working is to gain more personal time (35 per

cent) and to cope with care arrangements for children or elderly relatives (29 per cent). Cutting out time spent commuting or job sharing with somebody else can also make a huge difference to the way an employee feels. Research has also found clear evidence that it can improve productivity.

ustralia’s tourism industry has warned more jobs will go unless politicians adopt new policies. Evan Hall, national manager of the Tourism and Transport Forum, pointed out that areas of coastal Queensland and NSW dependent on tourism for jobs were also in federal marginal seats. “Everyone’s worried about mining in the run up to the federal election, but there’s a lot more people losing jobs

and losing tips in restaurants because of the performance of the tourism industry. I think that’s telling in the election campaign,” Mr Hall said. Hall added that, while the industry welcomed tourism announcements made by both parties, more were needed.

MARKETING BOOM

POLICY JOBS AXED

Marketing professionals are in demand in Australia, according to marketingmag. com.au. Roles in demand include content managers, online marketing managers, ecommerce managers and digital marketing managers.

The New Zealand Government signalled it is sharpening the axe to cut more bureaucratic jobs, with policy advisers in the firing line, after announcing a review of spending on policy advice across all departments and agencies.

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

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In good

health

Allied health workers are an important part of the UK health system. If you’ve got the skills, then there’s a job for you. WORDS DANIEL LANDON

rom helping people to walk and speak again to providing diet advice to taking x-rays, the UK has no shortage of options for allied health professionals. Encompassing professionals right across the medical sector – with the exception of doctors and nurses – allied health workers are a key part of the UK’s health system.

BEING SOUGHT AFTER According to Steve Twelftree, the head of international operations at healthcare staffing provider Pulse, allied healthcare work in Australia, New Zealand and South Africa is similar to that found in the UK. So not only will you find your

JOBS ON OFFER IN THE NHS ■ Art therapist ■ Podiatrist (treating feet and lower limbs) ■ Dietitian ■ Occupational therapist (promoting health and wellbeing, and allowing people to take part in daily life) ■ Operating theatre practitioner ■ Orthoptist (treating eyesight problems) ■ Physiotherapist ■ Prosthetist and orthotist (providing artificial limbs or devices to support bodily movement) ■ Psychologist ■ Psychotherapist (often known as talking therapy) ■ Radiograper (taking x-rays, ultrasounds and delivering radiotherapy treatment for cancer sufferers) ■ Speech and language therapist

A kind ear: psychotherapy jobs are available in the NHS

skills a good fit here in the UK, you will be in demand when you do return home. “UK experience is highly sought after … you have access to different training methods and work alongside colleagues from different countries … so you are usually snapped up when returning to Australia, New Zealand or South Africa.”

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STRONG DEMAND The UK’s health care system is massive – the budget of the National Health Service is $100bn a year – and there is now more emphasis than ever on treatment coming from a varied team of healthcare workers, rather than just a doctor. “There’s set to be a continued focus on people with specialist skills such as cardiologists and radiographers, as well as workers who have skills that support rehabilitation as we see more care being delivered in the community,” Twelftree says. “The reality is, job prospects for allied health professionals coming from overseas with the right skills will always remain high.” GETTING THE GIG Before working in the UK, allied health professionals must be registered by the Health Professions Council (HPC), and have formal qualifications. “HPC registration ensures that health professionals have the correct credentials and necessary experience for their profession,” Twelftree says. “The HPC verify the applicant’s qualifications and suitability to work in the UK in their chosen field.”

A POSITIVE MOVE LIFE AS A SPEECH THERAPIST

Helping hand s: UK experience is highly regarded back home

Once on the register the applicant is cleared to work in their chosen field, but the process can take about 10 weeks. To speed things up, make sure you have all your documentation ready to go – including qualifications, visas, referees, and registration from home. It’s also likely you will need a Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check, which recruitment agencies can arrange.

STARTING OUT There are both permanent and temporary roles on offer throughout the UK. Faced with so many options, starting out in a short-term role is one of the best ways to get started in the sector. Qualified professionals, with a couple of years’ experience back home, can expect to earn about £21 to £23 per hour.

» See pulsejobs.com and nhscareers.nhs.uk/ahp.shtml

Hemant Jeena, from Melbourne, arrived in London in October 2008. “I work as a speech and language therapist at King’s College Hospital – on a day-today basis I assess and treat an array of patients with acute illnesses in regards to swallowing and communication disorders. It’s interesting and challenging at the same time. “There is a lot of scope to work in a specialised area, such as acute care, rehabilitation, or the community sector, and each requires a different set of communication skills. “I have been able to work in many different parts of London and meet interesting people, whom I would never have otherwise come in contact with. “By working as a locum, I’ve been able to adapt to different working environments, which stands me in good stead for future jobs, and it allows me to take time off for holidays when needed. “If you are looking for allied health work I’d recommend signing up with a few different recruitment agencies to get offered a range of jobs. It’s a good idea to stay in touch with previous employers so they know you are still around if you ever need more work.”

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CAREERS & MONEY

ALLIED HEALTH POSITIONS

CAREERS & MONEY

MONEY

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

Bec Beazley

Food prices set to rocket he price of food in the UK looks likely to increase by about 10 per cent by the new year, after a sharp rise in the cost of animal feed. On a weekly food bill of £50, prepare to spend at least an extra £260 a year – the price of a nice holiday abroad. The UK’s largest animal

EASY MONEY Laura Adcock MAKES YOUR CASH GO FURTHER

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Chris Etherington, chief executive of wholesaler P&H, told Grocer Magazine the rises meant there was a danger of repercussions in the wider British economy. “I think this could be the beginning of the double-dip recession. This is really scary stuff,” he said.

OLYMPIC £5 COIN

LAMPARD IPOD FLOP

The Royal Mint is offering a limited edition £5 coin to commemorate the two years until the 2012 Olympics. The design shows two runners against a ticking clock counting down the years to the big event. To get your hands on one, visit royalmint.com before August 30.

Five thousand unsold gold iPod Touches endorsed by Frank Lampard are to be melted down. The 24-carat devices cost £599 and aimed to raise money for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Should Lampard score the winner at Euro 2012 the few that did sell may be worth something. Maybe.

How do you budget?

Budget? What’s that? The only way I budget is to make sure I keep enough money aside for rent/bills and the rest is spent on groceries and having a good time. Any money-saving tips for when you first arrive?

Make sure you have extra money for a bond (deposit) as it can really sting you if you’re not prepared. Your last big spree?

In the last four months I’ve visited Ireland, Morocco and Egypt so, needless to say, the bank balance isn’t too healthy. Your biggest weakness?

Trying to do and see as much as possible in the time I have left in London.

THAT’S MY NUMBER Ever bought a lottery ticket and forgotten all about it? Seems like there’s a few poor bastards out there that could be living the life of luxury. Fools. » In 2005, a lottery winner owner would have pocketed from Doncaster failed to claim a mega £9.4m jackpot, despite a town crier being hired to flush them out. » Why enter EuroMillions and not check your numbers? A winning ticket was bought in Devon back in 2007 and its

£6.9m. Instead, it went to the ‘good causes’ fund. » Those two are nothing compared with a New York Mega Millions draw in 2007, when US$31m went unclaimed. Remember, a lost ticket = lost cash. Buy online, people!

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If you’re keen to get into cycling but are wondering how to afford the equipment, check out the TFL website for heaps of discount vouchers. Vouchers include 10 per cent discounts on bikes and accessories at various bicycle stores, as well as cash towards bike servicing and deals on cycle parking. It’s a very good idea to invest in a hefty bike lock, as a shiny new bike is likely to come a cropper if left on the streets of London, and luckly there is also a deal for bike insurance, too. For more information on available deals, see tfl.gov.uk/tfl/roadusers/ cycling/offers.

feed supplier, BOCM Pauls, said the price of feed had increased by 20 per cent on 2009 because of low yields from last year’s dry winter. The company warned that prices to farmers would have to rise by the same amount, and that these price rises would flow on to consumers.

Job Business Development Co-ordinator, Heathrow Express From Adelaide, Australia Lives Fulham Age 25

CAREERS & MONEY

Marketing Executive Reporting to the Marketing and Events Manager, you will be a part of a small and dynamic marketing team managing TNTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s promotions and events maximising brand exposure and interfacing with our community of readers, visitors and customers. Applicants will need to have the experience to:

Âť Contribute to the management and manning of our

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successful live activities and events from language schools to travel shows; Manage with external contractors the weekly magazine distribution process; Contribute to the preparation and production of advertising sales collateral; Initiate and manage reader competitions; Write and edit and oversee the electronic distribution of customer newsletters

Contract Workers Required Construction & Civil Engineering We urgently require the following experienced candidates to work on long-term temporary assignments for blue chip contractors and major projects in London. sÂŹ3ITEÂŹ ÂŹ0ROJECTÂŹ%NGINEERS sÂŹ#ONSTRUCTIONÂŹ ÂŹ3ITEÂŹ ÂŹ0ROJECTÂŹ-ANAGERS sÂŹ#ONTRACTÂŹ!DMINISTRATORSÂŹ ÂŹ1UANTITYÂŹ3URVEYORS sÂŹ%STIMATORS Have you got a background in construction or civil engineering and infrastructure? If so, call James Deegan or Chris Mason on 0203 206 9116 or email james.deegan@randstadcpe.com or chris.mason@randstadcpe.com

Please send your CV, covering letter and salary expectations to careers@tntmagazine.com with 'Marketing Executive in the subject line or post your application to: HR Manager, TNT Publishing,14-15 Childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Place, London, SW5 9RX.

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tntjobs.co.uk TEACHING ALLIED VEHICLE DELIVERIES T: 020 7224 2257 Allied Vehicle Deliveries specialises in Delivering Vehicles around the UK and into Europe.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Management Drivers Location: London Salary: Rates Starting at £270pw We are looking for Management Drivers to Deliver Vehicles throughout the UK & Europe. Vehicles can range from Cars to Transit Vans. Applicants must have a Full Drivers Licence, Valid working Visa and must be over the age of 25 for insurance purposes. Ajay | ajay@alliedvehicleservices.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Live-in Carers/Personal Assistants tntjobs.co.uk

ORIGIN LTD T: 01524 34100 www.origincare.com

Origin provides live-in carers in the homes of young adults with a spinal injury. The work is varied and rewarding. We provide free training, good rates of pay and paid holidays.

PRIVATE SCOTTISH SPORTING ESTATE T: 07737 517699 Privately owned Scottish sporting estate, focusing on grouse shooting, in Kingussie, the heart of the highlands, just south of Aviemore.

MR TOPPERS T: 020 7734 3831 / 020 7434 4088

Location: Nationwide Salary: Start on £504 per week We require 5 live-in carers/Personal Assistants to fill current positions. You will have an out going, friendly personality and be able to work under the direction of the client. Typically people who do this job are educated, independent and happy to work in one-to-one situations. No experience necessary - can do attitude essential. John | 020 7617 7894 | www.origincare.com/careapp

JOB OF THE WEEK: Grouse Beaters Location: Kingussie, Highlands, Inverness-shire Salary: Day rate Enthusiastic outdoor people required to work for 5 weeks from 26th August as grouse beaters in the Scottish Highlands. Board and lodgings included. Work for 5 days per week on day rate. If not grouse beating then assisting with Estate maintenance. Graham Mabon | 07737 517699| graham@mabon8678.fsnet.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Top Hairdressers Wanted Location: Central London Salary: £300 - £500 pounds a week Top hairdresser wanted to work in busy salon in heart of London, must be friendly and fun. Has to have 4 or more years experience in the industry and able to work full time and able to speak good english. Becky 07702 153 524 or 020 7434 4088 | Giovanna 07578 785 288

CHOP HAIRDRESSERS T: 0207 498 1080

JOB OF THE WEEK: Hairdresser Location: Clapham Common Salary: On application

We are a well established salon in the heart of Clapham. We specialise in mens hairdressing.

We are looking for a hairdresser with a good background of experience for full and part time work. Creativity and personality is very important in our salon so applicants must be able to meet these requirements.

Eva | 0207 498 1080

ANTHONY LABAN BEAUTY T: 020 7924 3353 www.essentiallybeauty.co.uk www.anthonylaban.com Boutique Hair and Beauty Company offering high end services and guest care in beautiful surroundings. We offer a friendly down to earth team, great clientele and great perks.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Full Time Beauty Therapist Location: SW11 Salary: Basic £14500 plus commission Must be good all rounder. Emphasis on hot & strip waxing, manicure, pedicures, eye treatments, facials & massage. Excellent customer service essential. You must be NVQ2 Qualified (or equivalent) Aveda Beauty Salon with full training given. Sally Parsonson | 020 7924 3353 |sally@anthonylaban.com

LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT JOB? NEW JOBS IN THIS SECTOR EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Helen Simms | 020 7341 6623 | helen.simms@tntmagazine.co.uk

COMING & GOING ACCOMMODATION There are Antipodeans and South Africans calling all parts of London home, but generally they tend to head west (Acton, Shepherd’s Bush, Fulham, Hammersmith), north (Dollis Hill, Kilburn, Willesden Green) or south (Clapham, Southfields, Tooting). For listings see tntmagazine. com/accommodation. Dossing Offer to chip in £5 a night minimum. Hostels Expect to pay at least £10-£25 a night. Sharing You can share a room for about £50 a week, while a room to yourself will start at around £80 a week. Going it alone A bedsit or studio is at least £150 a week. Bills Bills can include phone, gas, electricity, water, council tax and a TV licence. Bond This is usually a month’s rent. You may also have to pay one month’s rent in advance. Leases You may need to sign a lease, which will typically run for six or 12 months.

ASK THE EXPERTS Robyn Cory EXPERT, 1ST CONTACT

I’m a New Zealander currently in the UK on a working holidaymaker visa, which expires at the end of this year. I would like to switch to the Tier 1 highly skilled visa and I believe I have the necessary points to qualify. Can I apply from inside the UK before my current visa expires and switch to the Tier 1 visa, or will I have to return home to apply? Please could you explain what I need to do.

Unfortunately, the switch from a working holidaymaker visa (WHV) is not possible from within the UK. This is based on the fact that the WHV is a not a

residency permit,, and that all visas leading to settlement (such as highly skilled) need to be lodged in the country in which the foreign national is a permanent resident (which in your case is New Zealand). The best option would be to retain all your documentation, establish your proof of funds/maintenance requirements and lodge your application based on the meeting of the points criteria for the Tier 1 Visa in your home country.

» For more, see 1stcontact.com. To ask a question about getting started or moving on email realitycheck@tntmagazine.com

you want, though it’s usual to give a month’s notice and help find someone to move in. Pay and cancel your bills

Namely council tax, internet, phone, gas, electricity, TV, gym membership, insurance. Settle overdrafts and credit cards Any defaults on bank

payments will be filed with a credit reference agency (making it difficult for you to set up an account or rent a flat if you return), or you could receive a County Court Judgement.

EMPLOYMENT Getting a job doesn’t have to be an impossible task. Register with a couple of agencies, the cream of which advertise in TNT and at tntjobs.co.uk. Most recruitment agencies handle specific sectors: IT, banking, finance, secretarial, legal, medical and teaching are the broad categories. Make an appointment to see a consultant, and take your passport, CV and references with you. Some agencies will help you open a bank account.

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NATIONAL INSURANCE You need a National Insurance (NI) number to work in the UK. Call 0845 600 0643 to make an appointment to apply for one. Some NI contributions go into a State Second Pension (S2P). You can contract out of this and direct the money into a private pension fund instead. You’ll need to do this before the end of the tax year or your contributions will be lost.

TAX

TNT’S TOP TIP To find yourself an NHS dentist, call NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or go to nhs.uk.

» Email your tips to reality check@tntmagazine.com

TNT online Check out tntmagazine.com/ movingtolondon if you’re on your way, tntmagazine.com/ leavingtheuk if you’re going.

MOVING ON CHECKLIST Resign from work How

much notice you need to give your employer will depend on your contract (usually two weeks to three months). You must give at least one week’s notice if you’ve been in your job for a month or more. Give notice on your flat

Check the conditions of your Tenancy Agreement. If you want to leave before your lease is up you may be liable to pay until new tenants are found. If you’re living in a sharehouse and haven’t signed a contract, you can move out whenever

The UK tax year begins on April 6, and if you work only part of the tax year you should get some tax back. The tax threshold is £6475 per year – so if you earn less than this, you won’t pay any tax. You’ll need a P45 (when you leave a job) and a P60 (at the end of the tax year). If you’re leaving the UK and won’t work again before the end of the tax year, you can claim a rebate by filling in a P85.

SHIPPING Get plenty of quotes, checking sizes and whether customs and tax charges are covered. For sea freight (which should take no longer than 12 weeks to arrive) you’ll pay about £80£150 for your first box – less for suitcases – and £30-£90 for additional boxes.

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CAREERS & MONEY

JUST ARRIVED

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TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION Double take: two Barbary sheep at the Madrid Zoo create an intriguing shot.

Photo by AP Photo/ Paul White

TRAVEL 57

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CITY

Buzz

Discover Cardiff’s gaudy castles, wild countryside and sizzling nightlife WORDS PHILLIP TANG

Cardiff WALES

ardiff doesn’t know who it is yet, which is part of the charm of a pre-boom city. The Welsh capital is dominated by Cardiff castle, which sprawls out into the city centre. At the entrance of the 2000-year-old estate, the masonry joins clearly show where Roman

and Norman styles butted heads. We laugh out loud at the interior when we step inside, as it is dripping in Victorian bling. The rooms are heavily decorated with marble, polished wood, chandeliers and the astrological whirl of black and gold. The many rooms eventually lead out to the castle grounds,

where peacocks wander around, and we feel like we are in Alice’s Wonderland.

A DESIGN FOR LIFE The gaudiness is ‘so bad it’s good’, but it makes my head spin, so we head to the city centre. Cardiff is undergoing a facelift to look younger and more party-ready, yet

SHORT BREAK JURASSIC ART FOSSIL COLLECTING IN PENARTH

James O Davies, Getty Images, visitcardiff.com, TNT Images

the streets remain spacious and empty. There is a buzz, though it feels elusive. Spillers Records – the oldest record store in the world, established in 1894 by Henry Spiller – calls us in. In Cardiff Castle, a harp would have provided the perfect soundtrack; now the record player is spinning out Manic Street Preachers – who started out busking in Cardiff.

TIME AND SPACE According to those in the know, Cardiff Bay is at the centre of the action, so we stroll along to the sparkling waters. Wales Millennium Centre, squatting like a giant beetle, is a slate, iron and glass building that signals a monumental future for the city. No wonder it’s a regular backdrop for TV series Doctor Who. If there is a time vortex in Cardiff Bay, the Norwegian Church has definitely slipped through it. The ghostly white and black church ponders the new builds across the bay, but for the moment, it’s an arts centre. Our guide insists it’s a perfect place to try a pint of the über-Welsh SA Gold (Skull Attack to locals), and he is right. INTO THE WILD Cardiff is surrounded by wild Welsh countryside, so we rent

Buzzing : city revellers

bikes and ride along the flat Taff Trail; I’m surprised by how quickly we’re alongside a bubbling brook. We find Castell Coch, a fairytale building from the 1870s that was built for love, and even has a drawbridge.

MASH UP At night in Cardiff, that buzz is back. We pass over the tacky city centre, go through gay Charles Street and head back to the bay. Here the pubs and bars feel Welsh and the cocktails are coloured with local charm. Clwb ifor bach (Welsh Club) is strongly Welsh, feels like a cave and is superbly cool, with something for everyone on different nights, from electro to goth. Cardiff’s identity is as mixed as the music – city among the trees, castle among the city. As we dance, we feel like we could be in a London club, but with drinks this cheap, the mish-mash of haircuts around us, plus the sing-song of Welsh, we can only be in Cardiff.

Perfect sustenance: head to the pier for fish and chips

TNT online For a full travel guide on visiting Wales go to tntmagazine.com

NEED TO KNOW

Still spinning: the world’s oldest record store

WHEN TO GO The best time to visit is GETTING AROUND Cardiff is well served May and September when it’s warm, by buses, local rail and taxis. but you avoid the school crowd. GOING OUT A beer costs October to January is wet. from £2-3. Clwb ifor bach GETTING THERE National offers bottles of beer Express runs a frequent for £1. coach service to Cardiff ACCOMMODATION from London (three WALES ENGLAND A bed in a dorm costs hours), which costs from from £19, a double £14 return. Hire a car at room in a hotel costs Cardiff easycar.com/tntmagazine from £50. for a 5 per cent discount. SEE visitwales.co.uk

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TRAVEL

Magnificent: Wales Millennium Centre

The best souvenir to take home is a piece of ancient Wales itself. Wander the foreshore in Penarth, a seaside resort 8km from Cardiff, searching for fossils that have been shed from the immense curtain of eroding cliff face. You don’t need tools to pick up gastropods, brachiopods, stone shells and red boulders from the Triassic period, or Jurassic rocks, and you are free to take home whatever you find. Overturn a stone and you might discover the imprint of a worm that wriggled across its surface millions of years ago. If you’re feeling active, bring a hammer and chisel to hack into boulders and reveal a world frozen in time, then compare your prizes over fi sh and chips on the pier. The Penarth Esplanade is also worth checking out, as is the nearby Penarth village, which is old-fashioned and charming with its Victorian terraces and peaceful parks, giving it the name ‘garden by the sea’.

LATE DEALS

TRAVEL

UNDER £250

A two-day tour of Oxford and Bath, plus a visit to Stonehenge (entrance included) is £109 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk), including one night’s B&B accommodation, dinner and coach travel. Departs August 28. Two nights in Amsterdam and Bruges is £199 with Tracks Travel (0845 1300936; tracks-travel.com), including B&B accommodation, return coach and ferries, city tours of both cities, and free time. Departs August 28. A four-day Oktoberfest midweek tour is £153 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com), including B&B accommodation, experienced tour guide, T-shirt and welcome pack. Departs September 24. Excludes flights. Book by August 31. Check out the hip city of Berlin for £175 with Flight Centre (0844 8008628; flightcentre.co.uk), including three nights’ B&B accommodation and return flights. Quote: BERLONPAC3. Valid for travel until August 29. Relax on a beach in the Greek Island of Kos for seven nights for £233 with Lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271), including halfboard accommodation and flights. Departs September 23.

DEAL OF THE WEEK

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DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

£250 - £500

OVER £500

Explore Thailand for 14 days for £397 with Gap Adventures (08444 101090; gapadventures.com), including accommodation, transport, a hill tribe trek, river rafting and more. Trip code: ATTR. Departs September 26. A 13-day tour of Kenya and Tanzania is £357 with Acacia Africa (020 7706 4700; acacia-africa.com), including Spice Island, the Serengeti and more. Departs August 22. Excludes flights and £314 local payment. Seven nights in Cyprus is £251 with Lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271), including selfcatering accommodation and flights. Departs September 16. Hire a two-seater van for seven days for £252 (saving £200) with Wicked Campers (0808 234 8461; wickedcampers.co.uk). Valid from October 1 until Easter 2011.

Tour Russia for nine days for £635 (saving £115) with On the Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Excludes flights. Departs September 18. A 28-day tour of Europe takes in 12 countries and costs £2054 (saving £685) with Contiki (0845 075 0990; contiki.co.uk), including Paris, Barcelona and Vienna. Departs September 6. Get off the beaten track with a 15-day tour of Guyana for £2896 with Explore (0844 499 0901; explore.co.uk), including flights, 12 nights’ B&B, a jaguar search, a dugout canoe expedition and more. Departs August 21. Four nights in Kuala Lumpur is £575 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk), including flights and accommodation. Offer ends August 31. Valid for travel between October 1 and 31.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

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An eight-day Sail Croatia tour is £299 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes B&B and lunches. Departs August 21, 28 and September 11.

Brandenburg Gate, Berlin

TRAVEL 61

TNT Weekender Dubrovnik CROATIA

Dubbed the ‘jewel of the Adriatic’, Dubrovnik’s old town (or Stari Grad) is set within city walls built from the 13th century onwards. A Unesco World Heritage listed site, it is made up of cobblestone streets, forts and museums. Despite being bombed heavily by Yugoslav forces in 1991, the city has been well preserved and is Croatia’s prime tourist destination.

HEADLINE ATTRACTION Dubrovnik is a large city that’s home to about 50,000 people, but it’s the old town that’s the real attraction. It consists of 824 buildings with red-bricked roofs, narrow alleyways and a smattering of churches, all encased by high city walls. A walk along the walls is a mustdo. It takes two hours and offers unrivalled views over the Adriatic Sea and old town.

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BEST OF THE REST With temperatures hitting around 30°C during the summer months, taking a dip in some of Dubrovnik’s crystal clear waters is the perfect way to cool down.

Beaches are generally pebbly, although there are some concrete areas that allow swimmers to dive straight in. Banje beach outside the city’s eastern gate has a great view of the old town. If you tire of lying around, hire a peddle boat or a jet ski.

CHOW DOWN If you’ve travelled from elsewhere in Eastern Europe – where meals are often heavy and stodgy – the food will come as something of a surprise. Dubrovnik’s cuisine has a noticeable Italian influence: risotto and pizza are local favourites, while olive oil and garlic feature heavily. Thanks to its location, the seafood is also unbeatable; the crystal-clear water along the coast makes it easy to see why.

Croats love their ice cream and Dubrovnik isn’t short of ice-creameries. Heavier than the Italians’ gelati, there are plenty of flavours to try.

TRY THE LOCAL TIPPLE If you like beer then get used to saying “pivo”. Try Croatian beers Zlatorog or Ožujsko, which aren’t too bitter and are usually served on tap. Enjoy a drink at Buža II, a bar hewn out of the cliffs (the name means ‘hole’), with the city wall rising above and amazing views over the sea below. The original Buža is further east and almost as spectacular – the perfect spot for sunbathing on the rocks. There are also several good bars on the square at the back of the Cathedral of the Assumption of the Virgin. People in Croatia love their café culture too, so you’ll feel right at home if coffee is your thing.

NEXT WEEK COLOGNE

TNT online For a full travel guide on visiting Croatia go to tntmagazine.com/travel

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Winter months can be very chilly. Summer is best but it gets busy. GETTING THERE Fly direct from Gatwick with EasyJet (easyjet.com) and British Airways (ba.com). VISAS South Africans need a visa. See uk.mfa.hr for details. CURRENCY Croatian kuna. 1 GBP = 8.62 HRK. LANGUAGE Croatian. GETTING AROUND The old town is accessible on foot. Buses connect the rest of the city. GOING OUT A beer costs around 40-50 kuna. ACCOMMODATION A basic double room in Dubrovnik starts at 100 kuna per person per night.

ZAGREB

CROATIA

Dubrovnik

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life’s a

BEACH Visit Normandy’s chic coastal resorts for some sand-and-sea therapy WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

Normandy FRANCE

F Sea food and eat it: the ocean provides many culinary delights

HOT TIP

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BESIDE THE SEASIDE Deauville sprang first from the imagination of The Duke Auguste de Morny – half brother of Napoleon III – and then from the marshes on which he built his “ideal seaside” resort. Throw in a casino, a racecourse, a couple of swanky hotels and 1900s Deauville became the place to be seen for French artists,

musicians and fashionistas. Celebs still flock here, often for the annual American Film Festival. Today, Deauville is an almost filmset pastiche of a quaint seaside town. Timbered, faux-medieval buildings line spotlessly clean streets where you might just see a senior citizen in slippers tottering back with some purchases from the Gucci shop. Seriously, I did! But don’t let this put you off. Deauville’s seafront is so charming it’s impossible not to feel holiday-ish. Colourful beach umbrellas flutter on 1400m of white sand and the wooden broadwalk ambles along its edge. It’s hard to believe you can build a sandcastle here 90 minutes after boarding a plane in London. After a quick paddle, its time to check out Deauville’s rather self-conscious magnificence. The eclectic architecture

W Buss

“Visit the Pays d’Auge in the east of the Calvados region. It concentrates all the images of Normandy: charming timberframed houses and Norman cows grazing the verdant grass under apple trees in bloom. Make sure you taste the cider, apple brandy (Calvados) and apple aperitif (Pommeau),” says Lesley Williamson of the Normandy Regional Tourism Board.

or me, being beside the seaside is synonymous with feeling happy in that slightly hypnotised way that sparkling blue oceans bring on. Happy and hypnotised is not how I’m usually feeling when I find myself in East London, so the fact that I can step on a plane in London’s grey downtown and find myself in a chic seaside resort an hour later, is perhaps Deauville’s biggest selling point.

SHORT BREAK

TRAVEL

Bit of a laugh: the work of Raymond Savignac

and larger-then-life grandeur of the villas sitting along the seafront makes me goggle. Many belong to minted horse owners attracted to the city’s year-round equestrian events, and they’re a fascinating insight to how the other half goes on holiday.

CHILL OUT TIME Next stop is Deauville’s older, sister town, Trouville. It’s less immaculate, less manicured and, ultimately, more charming. Mansions along the beachfront and grand old town buildings contrast with narrow streets and smaller houses on the fishing port side. Trouville is still a working port and every day trawlers unload a catch of mackerel, shrimp, scallops and lobster that end up on the fish market or in a restaurant. As a seafood fan I’m in heaven – we find a restaurant on the beach and feast on three tiers of fruit de mer for about €10 each. Wine in hand, sun on face and snail shells on fingers, the slog of London seems a lifetime away. ART ATTACK Before collapsing on the tempting beach, we walk a circuit of the town. Trouville is famous for its humorous posters, designed by Raymond Savignac, and you’ll spot his iconic seagulls and sunbathers on walls, billboards and windows. Savignac isn’t the only artist to be drawn to this coastal idyll; French writer Gustave Flaubert,

TASTE TEST

TNT Images

DISTILLERY VISIT An hour’s drive inland, through Normandy’s sun-soaked countryside, is the Calvados Pere Magloire distillery. The master distiller will take you through the stages of making this apple brandy, which has been produced in the region for centuries. It’s an elaborate process and once your tour of the oak-barrelled room is over, you’ll be able to sample the stuff. Brace yourself – it’s potent!

Charming: timbered, faux-medieval buildings are everywhere in Deauville

NEED TO KNOW

among others, was so enchanted by Trouville – and by his scandalously WHEN TO GO Visit between May and married lover – that his statue still September when there’s less chance gazes longingly across the rooftops. of rain and the weather’s We finish with a boat trip around at its warmest. the coast. The sparkling ocean and GETTING THERE Normandy’s picturesque coast have CityJet (cityjet. worked their magic – I might com) flies direct even hug a banker when I get ENGLAND to Deauville back to the City! from London City Airport from Trouville Deauville Deauville with CityJet (0871 666 50 £59 each way. PARIS Calvados 50; cityjet.com) which flies from GETTING AROUND London City Airport direct in less Deauville and than an hour, and stayed at Les Trouville are small Manoirs de Tourgeville (+33 2 31 14 48 68; enough to explore on foot. lesmanoirsdetourgeville.com). VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa. CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.20 EUR. LANGUAGE French. GOING OUT A beer costs ¤2. ACCOMMODATION Hotels and B&B start from £40 per night. The cheapest deals may be found inland. For something really special, check out Les Manoirs de Tourgeville (lesmanoirsdetourgeville.com). SEE normandy-tourism.org

» Frankie Mullin travelled to

Normandy

FRANCE

TNT online A quick nip: Sample the apple brandy

For a full travel guide on France go to tntmagazine.com

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HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER LAST LEFT AT THE PARTY, BUENOS AIRES Aimee Dodge, Napier The ultimate tool of photography is light, and Aimee uses the natural light coming through the doorway and window in this picture to emphasise her subject. The little boy is standing in a triangle of light, right on the rule of thirds and looks longingly out into the bright outdoors, creating a wistful element to the shot. The tables and chairs box him in to add to the feeling of being trapped and the inclusion of the balloons is poignant. HOT TIP: The brightest part of your shot will normally be a strong draw for the viewer in any composition. » Aimee wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £198 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com; 0131 557 9393)

RUNNER-UP REICHSTAG DOME, BERLIN Claire Ryan, Melbourne Claire has completely filled the frame with the black and white reflections in the mirrors for an almost abstract setting, and has cleverly placed the brightly dressed tourists so they are the only colour in the image. A vertical format enhances the impression of height,

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and the diagonal lines radiate outwards as they rise for a feeling of power and growth. With the flat lighting, the overall effect is very graphic, but a hint of perspective has been kept by including the ledge at the bottom to draw the eye in. HOT TIP: Limiting the colour palette of an image makes for more impact. This technique can be very

effective with the right subject. » Claire wins a photography course from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses.org.uk) valued at £60

TNT online For details of how to enter go to tntmagazine.com/gallery

HOTSHOTS

HOLIDAY SNAPS

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT

THEME: NEGATIVE SPACE Great Wall of China by Michelle Leon, London

TRAVEL

Negative space refers to the area in and around the seemingly main subject, but many a composition has been ruined by lack of thought. The negative spaces in Michelle’s shot are the sky and the hillside, which are as important to her composition as the wall itself.

WHY THIS WORKS: 1 The shape made by the sky reflects and balances the shape made by the stony path. 2 The hillside forms two strong triangles – one pointing down and the other pointing up. 3 The strong diagonal of the wall links the sky and the path. 4 The shape of the sky, and the leading line of the wall emphasise the focus on the buildings at the top of the hill. 5 Vertical format gives a feeling of strength and power.

HOT TIPS: 1 Sky is a common negative space. Careful placing of the horizon is crucial. 2 Negative space can help with your decision in framing overall, but often too much is included around a subject. 3 Negative space is important in silhouettes, so bear this in mind when shooting sunsets. 4 The equal balance of negative space is considered good design. Turn your images upside down and see if they still look balanced. 5 Negative space can be the main subject – Salvador Dali can offer inspiration.

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ON A

High Tackle Germany’s third highest mountain while making plenty of beer stops WORDS SCOTT CASEY

Berchtesgaden GERMANY

“M

ontag!” I shout in my nasal twang towards a Bavarian family as I stumble into our

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German National Tourist Board

alpine lodge. “Do you know you just said ‘Monday’? quips my condescending German friend. Crap. It’s ‘morgen’. I blame the altitude. But really, it probably had more to do with the five-hour hike up a sheer cliff face with only ancient chains for support followed by the endless supply of Bavarian Hell beer at the bar.

ALPINE LIVING Welcome to Berchtesgaden, the town where moustaches are as thick as George W. Bush and the fashion gives a high street fetish shop a run for its money, with sexy milkmaid dresses and tight leather pants parading on the strasse. This is alpine living. I’m here to climb the Watzmann, Deutschland’s third tallest mountain. Trekking up a mountain is nothing to be taken lightly. I’ve packed carefully, trained

TIPS Rural Morocco

READERS’ TIPS HAPPY MEMORIES

TRAVEL

Instead of buying OF souvenirs when on THTIEPWEEK holiday, splash out on decorations that you can put up on your Christmas tree. Then every year you can be reminded of your travels. Jenna, via email

ESCAPE TOURISTS

YOU ASKED FOR IT Tom Hall FROM LONELY PLANET

Dublin is normally crammed full of tourists, especially the pubs in Temple Bar. If you want to meet Irish people when visiting Dublin, go to pubs such as Hogan’s on George Street and Whelan’s on Wexford Street, which has live music and a late bar. I’d also recommend going to the free National Museum of Ireland, which houses two 2000-year-old bog people. Stephanie, via email

I’d like to know the cheapest way to travel overland from Perth to Sydney. Campervans look expensive, but we don’t want to spend three days on a bus. I’m starting to think we may have to fly. Cathy, via email

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You might want to plan to visit somewhere else instead. If your husband doesn’t like markets and souks then your wanderings around Marrakesh are going to be pretty limited. There’s the night bazaar, which takes place off Djemaa el-Fna open square, but if he’s not that keen on hustle and bustle then he won’t like that much either. Marrakesh has a fine collection of mosques, lofty terrace restaurants and palaces to lose yourself in away from the souk, but you won’t be exploring the best of the place if you only do this. Why not compromise? He can hang out by the pool – get a room with one of these – while you take in the shopping. Then you can both venture out of the city, either to Imlil in the Atlas Mountains for a relaxed or more active walk; or to Essaouira on the coast for some bracing sea views. You might just both enjoy it.

Email your words of wisdom to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Tom Hall will give you the benefit of his infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. If he answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. TNT readers can get 20 per cent off all Lonely Planet guides valued at more than £12.99. Enter promotional code PTNT01 at shop.lonelyplanet.com.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

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It all depends on your definition of cheap. Think of Australia as not being cheap any more, at least until the Aussie dollar starts weakening again. If you’re able to travel at an unpopular time you can get a cheap flight. This may be under £100, and will take about five hours. Skyscanner.net can compare fares and help you get the best deal. But if you’re seriously going to go by the cheapest route, I’d suggest you stay at home for a bit longer and work to earn extra cash. Flying across the entire Australian continent will mean you’ll miss out on so much. The train is the best option if you want to do the journey in one hop. It’s expensive, but for £386 you can get a pass offering unlimited travel on Great Southern rail services, which are the big-name trains in Australia. For £558, you can throw in a load of other trains too (both from simplyrail.com). Next best; a campervan. It is more expensive but gives you plenty of flexibility. Worst is the bus. Man alive, think of your back! Go for the train or splurge on the campervan.

I’m planning a visit to Marrakesh with my husband in September, but he really hates shopping and refuses to go anywhere near the souks. What other activities can you suggest for us to do? He’s really into walking and nature, and he enjoys exploring, but he’s really put off by the hustle and bustle of the markets. Liz, via email

TRAVEL NEWS

Have you got everything?

TNTMAGAZINE.COM MOST POPULAR DESTINATIONS 1 England 2 Spain 3 France 4 Germany 5 Croatia

HOTTEST KEYWORDS ON TNTMAGAZINE.COM/TOURSEARCH

1 Europe 2 Egypt 3 Morocco 4 Croatia 5 Oktoberfest powered by

FREE ONLINE GUIDES Go to tntmagazine.com/ travel for travel guides on more than 170 destinations.

TRAVEL

A third of travellers forget their toothbrush and 25 per cent fail to bring their toothpaste when going on holiday, according to a survey by Park Plaza Hotels & Resorts. A whopping 28.6 per cent forgot their PJs, while phone chargers and cameras were common overlooked items.

CHAOS FOR TRAVELLERS BAA workers have voted for strikes that could close Heathrow and five other UK airports – action that would bring chaos to the travel plans of nearly 300,000 people each day. Staff voted three-to-one to strike after their union, Unite, rejected a one per cent pay offer from airport operator BAA. Any strikes will close down BAA airports, which also include Southampton, Edinburgh, Stansted, Glasgow and Aberdeen, as essential staff including firefighters and security staff have voted to take part in the action. If the BAA strike goes ahead, the earliest date it could start is Thursday, August 19. Meanwhile, the collapse of holiday operator Sun4U has left 1200 holidaymakers stranded overseas, with hotels demanding customers pay

TNT Images, www.britainonview.com, Getty Images

Top free sights revealed London’s Imperial War Museum has topped a list of the UK’s best free attractions, according to rankings by travellers on TripAdvisor. The list is dominated by London sights, including the National Gallery, The Wallace Collection, the British Museum, Borough Market and St James’s Park, the oldest royal park in the capital. Also featured in the list is Giant’s Causeway, in Northern Ireland, an intriguing rock formation made up of 40,000

Giant’s Causeway

massive black basalt columns. Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh took eighth place due to its stunning views of Edinburgh Castle. Also included is St Fagan’s National History Museum in Cardiff and RAF Museum Cosford, Shropshire.

for hotels already booked with the travel firm. Tour operators say the news highlights the need for travellers to book trips with firms endorsed by the Air Travel Operators’ Licensing (Atol) scheme. “It’s really important that holidaymakers book trips with an Atol-bonded tour operator to ensure that their money is 100 per cent safe,” On the Go Tours head of marketing Pru Goudie said. “It is also a sign of quality assurance as operators have to meet certain standards in order to get bonded.” Contiki Holidays marketing executive Michael Grierson added: “Booking with an Atol-protected tour operator is very important as it protects you from losing your hard-earned cash or being stranded abroad.”

TRAVEL GUIDES DK Eyewitness has launched two new guide books. DK Top 10 Delhi includes a pullout map and top tips on how to discover the best of this bustling city. The DK Eyewitness Guide to Eastern and Central Europe features an abundance of rich historical and cultural sights.

SAFE SRI LANKA The Foreign Office has lifted its travel restrictions to the northern part of Sri Lanka, where government troops and Tamil rebels were

engaged in a bitter conflict until last year.

MAN’S WORLD When it comes to driving abroad, it’s a man’s world, according to research by Avis. The study found that 94 per cent of men prefer to do the driving while on holiday, compared with 38 per cent of women. But men are poor at keeping the tank topped up, with one in 20 having run out of fuel, compared with one in 33 women, although one in 50 females have used the wrong petrol.

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ON THE ROAD

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

ON THE ROAD

FIESTAS PATRIAS

TRAVEL

Mexico City, Mexico Sep 15–16 Expect food, drink, dancing, fireworks, tequila and lots of Mexican flags as everyone takes to the streets to celebrate Mexican Independence Day.

» visitmexico.com

WHAT: The biggest beer binge

in the world. More then six million boozers hit Munich to consume millions of litres of the stuff. Ever-popular buxom Bavarian wenches will keep your steins replenished. WHERE: There are 14 beer halls, festival houses and Schnapps stalls but you’ll be too wrecked to visit them all. Guaranteed. WHEN: Sept 18-Oct 4 WHY: It began as a horse race in 1810 but, sensibly,

the boring bit was dropped by 1938. DO IT BECAUSE: According to TNT insiders, the beer’s so pure you never get a hangover! HOW MUCH: Entry to the tents is free, but arrive early to get a seat.

» oktoberfest.de

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

LOCK IT IN HOGMANAY Edinburgh, Scotland Dec 31, 2010 edinburghshogmanay.org

VENICE CARNIVAL

OKTOBERFEST MUNICH, GERMANY

WITH FRANKIE MULLIN

Venice Feb 25-March 08, 2011 veniceconnected.com

RIO CARNIVAL STOP MAKING SENSE Petrcane, Croatia Sep 3-5 Three days of music by the sea. Drink cocktails and chill out to some funky beats in one of the summer’s most stunning festi locations. Describes itself as “music anarchy”. Sounds good.

» sms-2010.com

Where in the world?

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil March 4-8, 2011 rio-carnival.net

NEW ORLEANS MARDI GRAS New Orleans, USA March 8, 2011 mardigrasneworleans.com

LAS FALLAS Valencia, Spain Mar 15-19, 2010 turisvalencia.es

THE TRAVELLER … Trent Bell, 21, from Brisbane, Australia Your best travel experience?

The Running of the Bulls. I got my black eye from a bull (maybe!) I watched the bullfight afterwards though and it’s hard to see it as a sport. That’s not a fair fight.

Corinne Turnbull from Alice Springs, Australia at The Colosseum, Rome

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £90. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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The coast of Croatia. Top tip for living in London?

The parks – a great perk of living here.

Turnmaster Tim, Getty Images

Favourite place?

TOP FIVE

FIVE FOODIE BREAKS

THE INSIDER

The best part of my job is … having people tell me that Jamaica is the best place they have visited and that they are happy I convinced them to go. My first big trip was … mountain climbing in the Rockies in Western Canada. My most memorable travel experience was … going on safari in South Africa and seeing the Big Five. My most challenging travel experience was ... being stranded by a hired driver in Essaouira, Morocco and not being able to speak Arabic or French (how I got back to Marrakesh is another story)! The next destination on my travel wishlist is … Okinawa Prefecture, Japan as I hear it's very much like Jamaica with a rich culture. My favourite place in the world is ... Jamaica, especially the East Coast, which has quiet beaches. My top travel tip is... research your destination on TripAdvisor and when there, find out and dine where the locals eat. I always pack … extra batteries and memory cards for my camera. My guilty travel pleasure is … ditching the budget and enjoying upgrades all the way. We only live once!

JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE! PAELLA IN VALENCIA WHAT: The Spanish city of Valencia is where you’ll experience the most authentic and tasty paella. First brought to Valencia in the 11th century by the Arabic people, paella quickly became a popular staple in the Valencian diet. Try a lobster or black rice paella (made from squid ink) at the famous La Pepica restaurant, in front of Las Arenas beach, for just ¤12. SEE: turisvalencia.com

TRAVEL

Mexico Tourist Board, Tourism Office of Budapest, TNT Images

DONOVAN DONALDSON, SALES EXECUTIVE, JAMAICA TOURIST BOARD

MOLE IN OAXACA WHAT: Mexico’s gastronomy capital, Oaxaca, is the place to get your nashers stuck into mole poblano, chicken breast smeared in a rich chocolate and chilli sauce. Wash down Mexico’s speciality dish with a slug of tequila, but go easy on the shots; there is a truth behind the slogan ‘one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.’ SEE: visitmexico.com

MUSSELS IN BRUSSELS WHAT: Mussels with garlic, mussels with white wine, mussels with tomatoes. When it comes to mussels from Brussels, the varieties are endless and they are always on the menu – normally served with chips (moules frites). SEE: belgiumtheplaceto.be

GOULASH IN BUDAPEST WHAT: Slurp a bowl of goulash, a soup-like culinary delight, in Budapest. Spiked with paprika, dishes are rich in texture. Try traditional goulash with dumplings at Bagolyvar Etterem for about £4 as a starter. SEE: gotohungary.com

FONDUE IN FRIBOURG WHAT: Hidden gem Fribourg, near Bern, is the best place to enjoy fondue in Switzerland. Diners use a long fork to dip bread, boiled potatoes and vegetables into a steaming pot of melted cheese, set over a paraffin burner. SEE: myswitzerland.com

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From the Sahara to the souks of Marrakesh, Morocco has a magic all of its own WORDS JANINE JORGENSEN

Morocco AFRICA

t’s desert war. My sheet slaps me in the face, my eyes begin to sting and the rest of my bedding gets chucked around me. Groping for my torch, I surrender to the sand and wind, and drag my mattress back to the protection of the tents. Sleeping on top of a sand dune under the stars and moon seemed like the perfect way to round off a memorable day in the desert. But to get any rest, I have to be content to drowse off to the sound of camel grunts in the shelter of the Berber camp. I wake up to stillness, no sign of the buffeting wind of the night. Dragging myself up a dune, I rub my eyes and have to tell myself, that yes, I really am watching the sun rise above the red dunes of the Sahara.

Xxxxxxx

TO THE BERBER BEAT We’ve journeyed for three days from Marrakesh, our minivan going up into the High Atlas mountains, down into palm-lined valley oases, through villages where children stare at us camera-laden

foreigners, and past abandoned kasbahs and buzzing markets selling prickly pears and watermelons. We stop along the way to refuel with mint tea and delicious tagines and refresh in cool hotel swimming pools. When our modern-day caravan reaches Rissani, Morocco’s gateway to the Sahara, our travel weariness (much of it to do with the 40˚C heat) ebbs away as we realise how close we are to the desert. Turbans at the ready, water bottles by our sides and cameras around our wrists, we meet our mode of desert transport. Lined up, blanketed and baring dirty gnashers, our camels groan as they heave us up, and slowly plod towards the dunes for our night at a Berber camp. The Berbers were the original inhabitants of North Africa, a people who managed to hold on to their traditions and culture, despite the invasion of Arabs, Romans, Phoenicians and other tribes (and later countries) sent to conquer the tip of the continent. The majority of Berbers live in Morocco, and call

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Desert Dreams

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BIG TRIP

Grab a bite: the humming Djemaa El Fna food markets

themselves the Imazigen (free men), despite intermingling with Arabs and adopting Islam as their religion. And though many have moved to the cities, three main Berber groups in Morocco live in the Rif mountains, the Middle and High Atlas ranges, and the Sahara. After a candlelit dinner, we are treated to entertainment by the fire, listening to Berber music – of drumming and soulful singing – until someone starts Buffalo Soldier and so begins a medley of Beatles, Bob Dylan and other ’60s hits. Even the desert can’t escape pop culture.

Sweet: mou th watering past ries are ever ywhere

Justine Walker, TNT Images

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Summer (June-August) temperatures can be sweltering. Winters are generally mild, but pack warm clothes for a night in the desert. GETTING THERE EasyJet (easyjet.com) has direct flights from London Gatwick to Marrakesh. GETTING AROUND Marrakesh can be seen on foot, though taxis are cheap if you get tired. To reach the Sahara, it’s best to join a tour. VISAS South Africans need a visa, Aussies and Kiwis don’t. CURRENCY Dirham. 1 GBP = 12 MAD. LANGUAGE Arabic, though most Moroccans also speak French. GOING OUT Morocco is a Muslim country, so alcohol is not easy to obtain. A beer is about £2.50. ACCOMMODATION Hotels in Marrakesh’s Medina are generally good value. A double starts from about £45. SEE visitmorocco.com.

WEIRD AND WONDERFUL A few days later, we’re back in Marrakesh and our serene Sahara experience feels like a dream next to the crowded chaos of the city’s square, Djemaa El Fna, at dusk. As we make our way among henna artists, storytellers and snake charmers, we are met with dancers and monkey handlers, all pointing to our cameras

I drowse off “ to the sound of camel grunts ” STEAMY STUFF The next day, we try to recapture the peaceful night in the desert and after a session in Marrakesh’s souks (see next page), head for a relaxing hammam (traditional steam bath) and massage. Any thought of a soothing experience is put aside as voluptuous topless women scrub away traces of the Sahara (including our tans), throw buckets of water over us and then instruct us to lie on our backs on concrete slabs as if we are sacrificial lambs while they lather black clay on our bodies. As we sweat it out in the sauna we’re not quite sure if this will really rejuvenate us or if “hammam” is a code word for torture for unsuspecting tourists. But after a cooling shower and a cup of

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chanting “photo, photo”, for a fee of course. We dine at one of the pop-up stalls, with gas fires, cooks dressed from head to toe in white and waiters touting for business. Food ranges from brochettes (skewers of meat), salads and couscous to fish and snails, all washed down with freshly-squeezed orange juice Later, we sip on an overpriced soft drink, which we are forced to buy if we want to get a view of the madness from one of the rooftop restaurants above the square, and gaze below at the lights, smoke and milling people to a soundtrack of incessant drumming.

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AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY BREAKS SAT 28TH - MON 30TH AUGUST 2010 BELGIUM Tour Includes: Two nights B&B hotel

SEE THE UK: Buy 3 day trip tours and your 4th one is free (T&C’s Apply)

accommodation in the beach side resort town of Ostend, famous for it’s nightlife, visit to Brugge, Brussels & Antwerp, return luxury coach travel, return cross channel ferry & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager. Only

LOYALTY REWARD:

PARIS BY EUROSTAR Tour Includes: Return Eurostar

SUPER SAVER DEAL:

Been on at least 6 of our tours? Our research show’s us that over 80% of our customers are repeat customers. To thank you for choosing Anderson Tours as your preferred tour operator your next day trip tour is on us! (T&C’s Apply)

REFERRAL REWARD: Go on one of our tours then refer a friend, when that friend books a tour with us you will receive 20% off your next tour. (T&C’s Apply)

COMPETITION – Win a weekend break for 2 people to Europe. Going on one of our tours? Then why not film it for your chance to win a weekend break for two to Europe. Take your pick from our selection of fantastic weekend breaks including: Paris by Eurostar, Holland & Belgium, Belgium, Germany Rhineland and Paris & The Champagne Region. All you need to do is is make an interesting video of your day with Anderson Tours then post it on ‘You Tube’. The video that receives the most views on ‘You Tube’ will be the winner. (T&C’s Apply) Please note: Terms & conditions apply on all offers. For a copy of the terms & conditions please contact Anderson Tours

£189

travel and transfers, guided city sightseeing tour, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation - all rooms ensuite, plenty of free time to enjoy the sights and shopping in the City of Light & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager. Only GERMANY RHINELAND Tour Includes: Return luxury coach travel, return cross channel ferry crossings, 2 nights hotel accommodation with breakfasts, dinners and free bar for 2 hours in the evening, cruise on the Rhine River, visit to a traditional Weinhaus, half day stopover in Ghent (Belgium) & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager. Only

£245 £199

PARIS & CHAMPAGNE REGION Tour Includes: Return coach travel & return cross channel ferry, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, entrance to Taittinger and Pommery Champagne Houses including a glass of champagne at each visit, plenty of free time & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager. Only HOLLAND & BELGIUM Tour Includes: Return luxury coach travel & cross channel ferry crossings, 2 nights B&B hotel accommodation, 3 course evening meals & buffet breakfast provided at the hotel including free bar for 2 hours, excursion to Brugge, plenty of free time to explore & services of an Anderson Tours Tour Manager. Only

£209 £199

BOOK ONLINE AT:

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Anderson Tours is fully bonded by Client Trust Account

Day trips Including return coach travel, entrances, guided city sightseeing tour & services of a Tour Manager Sat 21st Aug Fri 27th Aug Sat 28th Aug Sun 29th Aug Sun 5th Sep Fri 10th Sep Sat 11th Sep Sat 18th Sep Sun 19th Sep

Cambridge Stonehenge Private Viewing Morning A Day in Wales Cambridge Cotswolds Stonehenge Private Viewing Morning Cambridge A day in Wales Stratford & Warwick Castle

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CROATIA & SLOVENIA – 4 DAYS 3 NIGHTS WAS £209 NOW £178

A weekend in Krakow, thermal baths in Budapest, a great eastern European insight. PRAGUE TO BUDAPEST – 7 DAYS 6 NIGHTS

WAS £419 NOW £356 / STUDENTS £399 NOW £339

Beach parties on Pag, the Emerald River adventure in Bled, the Schnapps farm party in Salzburg and then Prague. SPLIT, CROATIA TO PRAGUE – 7 DAYS 6 NIGHTS

WAS £399 NOW £339 / STUDENTS £379 NOW £322 STUDENT DISCOUNT

£629 / STUDENTS £599 POLAND, SLOVAKIA, HUNGARY, AUSTRIA & CZECH REPUBLIC OPTION 1: Krakow to Prague - 22nd Dec OPTION 2: Prague to Krakow - 22nd Dec Both Treks meet in Budapest Boxing Day for a massive party!

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HUNGARY & CROATIA – 3 DAYS 2 NIGHTS WAS £149 NOW £127 Use promocode ‘LATE’. Valid on bookings from September onwards. Book by 29 Aug.

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27/08 Edinburgh Military Tattoo and Festival fr £279p/p Includes return coach,B/B Hotel Accom,Ticket to the final performance of Tattoo. Great sightseeing. Limited Seats. 28/08-30/08 Brussels and Brugge Long Weekend fr only £165 Includes return coach and ferries, 2 nights hostel accom b/b, sightseeing in both Brussels and Brugge. Free time. Don't miss out on this!

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holiday t Bank Augus28th - 30th August Only £20 deposit secures your seat! BOOK NOW!! Amsterdam & Brugge from £199

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HORSE RIDING IN WALES 18/09/10, 02/10/10, 16/10/10, 30/10/10 ISLE OF WIGHT 11/09/10, 02/10/10, 06/11/10 NORMANDY D DAY LANDING BEACHES 10/09/10, 08/10/10, 05/11/10 AMSTERDAM 24/09/10, 22/10/10, 19/11/10 BRUGGE 11/09/10, 02/10/10, 30/10/10 CARDIFF CASTLE WELSH BANQUETS 18/09/10, 02/10/10, 16/10/10,30/10 PARIS & VERSAILLES 17/09/10, 15/10/10, 12/11/10, 10/12/10 WEST COUNTRY TOUR 11/09/10, 02/10/10, 06/11/10 COTSWOLD JEWELS 11/09/10, 02/10/10, 06/11/10

from £114

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Includes: Return Coach, 2 nights hotel accom B/B. Visits to Bowness on Windermere, Grassmere, Keswick, Hawkshead, Whitehaven. Superb scenery !!

Includes: Return Coach, 2 nights hotel accom B/B,TICKET TO THE FINAL PERFORMANCE OF TATTOO on Saturday eve, great sightseeing, trip not to be missed !

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Includes: Return coach, Ferries, 2 nights cabin accom B/B, Night and Day tour of Paris by coach, visit to Versailles.

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Includes: Return coach, Ferries, 2nights hotel accom B/B, Visits to D Day Landing Beaches and Mont St Michael, Rouen and much more, superb tour ! Depart: Friday 18.30 - Return: Monday 22.00

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Come and sell advertising at our friendly Central London based publishing company/ media sales house. ‘Hard sell’ experience essential as are a good speaking voice, strong work ethic and the desire to earn a lot of money. Contact Fergus 0207 454 7500 fmee@setform.com

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VOLUNTEERS REQUIRED Requires a few short visits to St Thomas’ or Guy’s Hospital. Involves exposing your skin to artificial sunlight and i) taking skin biopsies ii) taking blood samples.

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F/T Shop Assistant

Northern Star Escorts are the South East’s most successful Visiting Escort & Massage Service, top earnings for top people, no experience necessary, all nationalities welcome, you may be petit, slim or busty, you may be small or tall, average looks or stunning – the fact is we have a vast well vetted client base including a high proportion of high nett worth individuals keen to meet new faces. Full security service, transport to and from work (and interview), we’re open 7 days – 24hrs.You may have just a short term agenda or thinking medium to long term, whatever your needs we can work with you to achieve them! Call now for further information or an immediate interview!

Required by Beatles Shop in Baker Street. Love of The Beatles’ music an advantage. Please post/email CV to London Beatles Store, 231 Baker Street, London NW1 6XE. sgtpepper@beatlesstorelondon.co.uk

WOULD YOU LIKE TO EARN TOP MONEY, WORKING SHORT, FLEXIBLE HOURS?

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FULLY QUALIFIED QUANTITY SURVEYORS REQUIRED MUST HAVE AT LEAST 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN COMMERCIAL AND SHOP FIT OUT. Please send your C.V including a covering letter to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

HIGHLY SKILLED & EXPERIENCED SITE MANAGERS, CARPENTERS, PAINTERS, LABOURERS & DRYLINERS. Please send your C.V. including copies of CIS card, CSCS card and any Trade Certificates to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

Need warehouse, packing, and assembly staff for long and short term bookings. Free transport from Ealing. Call in or telephone 020 8840 0707 between 10am -12am and 2pm – 3pm

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Olympic Staff, 9-11 New Broadway, Ealing W5 5AW. Tel 020 8840 0707. Emp Bus.

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so we can get to the bottom of this bloody quandary. You choose where to go and the lady will go halves. Sportsorientated dates really float her boat. Email me at blokesneeded@hotmail.co.uk.

Amanda with the pink cowboy hat: I met you at

122

Embankment station on Friday night, August 6. I asked you for directions and you told me to get on the westbound tube. It was the last tube so you really saved my night – otherwise I would’ve had to night bus it home for like two hours. I asked for your name and you shouted out “Amanda” just before the doors closed. I wish we’d had more time so I could’ve gotten your number. Email dannycheckow82@ hotmail.com with a pic of you in your cowboy hat so I can see it’s you. Danny. Thanks and goodbye: Luke, Ness and Max, I’m not sure what I’d have done if you hadn’t been here to welcome me and show the way. I only wish I’d been here 10 years ago to share your journey from the start rather than have to bid you farewell at the end. See you back in Oz. Paul. Maddy from Wonga Park in Vic: Maddy, the cute PE

teacher, currently teaching science. Had a good chat at Redback Bar on Friday, July 23 near the end of the night. Were supposed to catch up on the Sunday for sips but got stuck in town then came home to Australia on the Monday. Keen to talk more … See tntmagazine.com/seeking. Carrie aka Snuggles: Hope you had a fan-bloody-tastic birthday on August 9 hon. Sorry that the message is a bit late but you know us, so what did you expect? If it wouldn’t have been late, there’s no way that the message could’ve come from us, right?!!

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com

Anyway, hope your 26th year on Planet Earth brings you lots of fun and good times. Lots of snuggles from CJ, Laura, and Ames. Andy in the grey G-Star Raw T-shirt at the Roundhouse on Friday, July 23: Hi there, it’s

Linda here who beat you in the dance-off at the Roundhouse the other week :-). Sorry for running off but my friend lost her wallet and was in hysterics so I had to help her find it. Luckily, we got it back, but when I returned to our spot, I couldn’t find you. I’d love to meet up with you again for another dance … Email me at andyatroundhouse@hotmail. com. Linda x Lachie, my gorgeous hubby:

The last three years have been the best of my life. Thanks for making me so happy. Juzzie x Silver Sony camera in a black pouch: I was at The Church

last Sunday, August 1, and lost my camera. It’s a silver Sony, with a touchscreen and the front slides down to reveal the lens. My best friend bought it for me as a going away present when I moved to London so it has lots of sentimental value to me. There are also photos on

there which I don’t want to lose. If you have found it, or know someone who’s found a camera could you pretty please contact me, would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks :-) Email: teej_017@hotmail.com. Rozza, don’t sign anything:

Just because she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t mean you have to get married. She’s heading out to Australia with you later this year, and her family have probably tried to give you some goats as a dowry, but you should be careful. Don’t let her put your balls in a sling. Blokes needed for a dating experiment: I need a handful

of blokes who are good for a date with my foxy female friend, and who, after said date, can give me feedback on why the heck she consistently fails to get a second one. Rest assured, she’s not a hairy trollop, just a spirited and super-successful lass who can’t put her finger on why she can’t meet a dude that wants to stick around. Is it the shade of her lipstick? The alignment of her left breast? Her contagious laugh? Who knows! But you’ve gotta tell me, the dutiful bestie,

Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

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Farewell My Lover, Farewell My Friend: Chris, who

would’ve thought a workplace friendship could turn into something so wonderful … Our time together has been short but sweet, I’ve loved getting to know you and only hope our relationship blossoms into something even more beautiful once I rejoin you back in Aus! Hugs ‘n’ kisses, T X Lisa Jennings, the busty blonde at Fabric on Saturday, July 24: You gave me your

number but there seems to be a digit missing. Did you leave it out on purpose, or was it a genuine mistake? If you’re keen to meet up some time, email me on terryishere@ yahoo.com. Terrance, the Aussie guy with the good looks and great personality. Yo J-Dawg: We had a wicked time in the Greek Islands. Can’t believe you ended up in hospital. Looks like you drunk too many 80-20s after all. Hope you’re doing OK in London and try not to do another poo in Em’s room. Take it easy, the Boyz. Aaron from PE: Happy birthday to youuuu, happy birthday to youuuu – happyyy birthday dear Moroooooohn, haapppyyy birthday to youuu! Know you’re not keen on our singing so thought we’d do it in writing as a nice gesture. See, we do care about you ;-). More birthday surprises to come … The evil twins.

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