TNT Magazine / Issue 1432

Live, Work & Travel

February 7-13 2011 Issue 1432 tntmagazine.com

IIRNT Y! W AD

AWAY WEEKEND !

FOR T WO

LOVE

ROMANCE

SEX How to get what you REALLY want this Valentine’s Day

£1 where sold

24 HOURS IN MADRID Spain’s stylish capital exposed MORE THAN CHOCOLATES Quirky date-night ideas in London

KEEP ON RUNNING Sight-jogging city trips BRAZILIAN ESCAPADES Tour Rio, Iguazu Falls and Paraty

INSIDE ■ LONDON ■ FILM ■ MUSIC ■ NEWS ■ JOBS ■ SPORT

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this week February 7-13 / Issue 1432 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Whether you want to impress, have a romantic night, or make sure you have your wicked way with your heart’s desire, Valentine’s Day is the chance to pull out all the stops. On P10 we give you a helping hand to make sure you get what you want. Then turn to P14 to find the coolest events happening in London to celebrate the occasion. If it’s passion you’re after, look no further than P72 as we travel around the colourful country of Brazil.

10 Don’t be a heart-breaker on Valentine’s Day

59 TRAVEL

CAROL DRIVER

59 Global Vision 60 KEEP ON RUNNING: Sightjogging tours across the UK 62 Late Deals 63 TNTT Weekender: Reykjavik 64 Hotshots 66 24 HOURS IN MADRID: Culture and fun in Spain’s capital 68 Travel Tips 69 Travel News 71 Top Five 70 On The Road 72 ASSAULT ON THE SENSES: Tour Rio, Iguazu Falls and Paraty

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 FEEL THE LOVE: How to get what you really want on Feb 14 12 Food & Drink 16 Spotted 18 Silly Buggers

21 ENTERTAINMENT 21 22 23 26

Celebrity News TNT Life Look Who’s Talking: DJ TyDi CUT FROM A DIFFERENT CLOTH: Cut Copy’s new direction 24 Cinema 25 Culture

28 MUSIC & CLUBS 28 31 32 33

Music Gig of the week Music listings Clubbing

66 There’s no time to sleep in this buzz city

34 NEWS & SPORT 34 World news 36 DAYS OF RAGE: What’s behind the uprising in Egypt 39 How Cyclone Yasi hit 41 Our View: MPs’ expenses 45 Sports opinion: Ian Thorpe 46 THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER: Joel Monaghan on his fresh start

49 CAREERS & MONEY 49 Careers 50 HOMEWARD BOUND: Helping Australia recover 56 Money

REGULARS 4 Letters 6 Wins 114 Desperately Seeking

46 Highlight of Willie Mason’s dodgy past ...

72 Brazilian escapades

60 Go travelling and keep fit

YOUR SAY EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub-editor Jahn Vannisselroy Travel editor Janine Kelso Sport editor Tom Sturrock Music editor Alison Grinter Web editor Frankie Mullin Staff writer Rebecca Kent Editorial assistant Inger Smith

There’s a spring in my step!

Ah, what’s this strange thing I see outside my window?

Could it be? Yes! It’s the sun. Wow, I hadn’t seen it for so long I thought it had disappeared never to return again. I love London in spring – it’s so much nicer than the grey, rainy days of winter.

There are so many things to see and do – I can’t wait to go and explore the parks and see the city in full-bloom.

I realise that I may be getting ahead of myself, given London’s track record, and we may well find ourselves in the middle of another winter!

However, in the meantime, I’m off to Kew Gardens, if there’s anywhere that summer comes early, it’s there!

Paul Clarke, SW1

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Astrid Breacker Design and production executives Justine Mackay | Laura Doyle Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Head of Sales and Marketing: Jim Zambarno Acting Sales Manager Jaqui Ward Portfolio Manager Stephen Warman Sales Executives Matt Syder | Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Thomas Wheeler Sales Administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and Events Executive Domenica Ribaudo Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill Social media co-ordinator Daniel Cape ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Alexandra Buchlakova TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst Receptionist Lisa Lowe TNT Publishing Ltd Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY St Ives Web Ltd NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images PUBLISHER

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Is anybody else disappointed in the letters people are sending in to the ‘Desperately Seeking’ page of TNT? These days it is all about finding new friends. Rubbish to that, I say!

Where are the good old stories of the lost cameras at the Walkabout on a Friday night and the person who just ‘wants their memory card back’.

What about the letters to ‘the Kiwi at the Redback with the white singlet on and a tattoo on their arm’ – which, of course, narrows it down.

Not to mention my favourite, the good old ‘to the girl I met last week and the Walkabout – sorry for throwing up in your bed, but if you want to hook up again contact me’.

Come on people, find your friends elsewhere. Better still go the Walkie/Reddie and

NEXT WEEK IN

have an experience worth writing in about.

Clare, W12

WE CAN’T CHANGE THE WORLD ALONE Courtney is right, so many resolutions are self-indulgent (letters 1431), but I fail to see how we can change the world.

I always thought the new year was an opportunity to get rid of any bad habits – such as cutting down on booze or giving up smoking.

She suggests making “small but significant steps” to help change the world. What do you suggest? I can’t see how anything we do over here will help improve poverty or stop wars. Sure, we can donate to charity – but how much of that money actually gets to the source?

To change the world, we need a global mindset, and that includes the powers that be, not just ordinary folk like

Sin cities

Where’s hot in Europe

us. And, while there is money to be made and power to be had, that will never happen.

Sorry Courtney!

Jennifer, E17

ROMANCE BAN FOR VALENTINE’S DAY...

Is it really mean of me on planning to completely ignore Valentine’s Day? I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years, and I’ve never got her anything. Why should I? It’s just commercial – and I show my feelings for her on other days of the year. If she’s lucky.

Pete, Fulham

WIN!

letters@tntmagazine.com

letters@tntmagazine.com Letter of the week wins a three-day tour of Ireland from Shamrocker (shamockeradventures.com), valued at £119. Letters may be edited.

Prize is not transferable. Your Say is a reader forum and does not represent the opinions of TNT or its staff.

Brit Awards

We tip the winners

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TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group.

Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Summer comes early to Kew Gardens

DESPERATELY SEEKING EXCITING STORIES!

LETTER OF THE WEEK

LONDON LIFE

TNT’S ROYAL NOD

Tribute to our future Queen...

PREVIEW: KATE MIDDLETON We’re not quite sure what Her Maj would make of it, but we quite like this mashed-up image of Kate Middleton.

In a nod to the notorious Sex Pistols design, Zoobs (that’s the name of the artist) ‘modernised’ a picture of our future Queen.

With Prince William’s fiancée being quite the fashionista, we think she’ll love the design, which echoes the notorious Sex Pistols’ God Save The Queen.

However, it comes with

TNT images, Getty images

Big trip

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx a price tag which will appeal to those with blue blood or deep pockets – £20,000!

Although, all profits are going to the Freedom From Sorrow charity.

Good news for us commoners, though, as Zoobs has thought of us and has created 100 individual prints.

The original is now on display at The Opera Gallery on Bond Street.

CAROL DRIVER

» 34 New Bond Street, W1S (operagallery.com). Open Mon-Sun Oxford Circus

London

Tour the Middle East

Adrenaline sports

WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

WIN A DIRTY WEEKEND

❤

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(SHE’S NOT INCLUDED!)

Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and we’re giving away everything you need for a filthy weekend (except a loving partner!)

You could win prizes worth over £650. Here’s what: ❤ A weekend in the Crowne Plaza hotel of your choice. ❤ A Flip MinoHD video camera to make thatt movie. ❤ Wicked Tickles lingerie and a selection of sex toys. ❤ Super-stylish his ‘n’ hers Merc cardigans to wear the morning after. out how nter at agazine.com/ petitions.

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Ireland tour Guidebooks Accidents Happen on DVD Azuli’s Global Guide 11 albums A 10-day European adventure for two A three-day tour of Scotland Photography course Cash and guidebooks A trip to Bath and Stonehenge

PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 1427: Zebra Crossing on DVD: L Adams, C Davey, S Wong, M Cooper, V Wilson, A Royle, S Castle, R Patel, R Marianna, M Cottee, K Ashby, Y Shimanuki

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I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE DVDS TNT is giving away copies of I Spit On Your Grave on DVD or Blu-ray to 12 lucky readers.

Based on the controversial 1978 cult horror film Day Of The Woman, the films tells the story of female author Jennifer Hills (Sarah Butler) who rents a cabin in the country to write a novel.

She’s soon interrupted by a group of local lowlives, however, who turn her stay into a living nightmare.

But they don’t know who they are up against, and Jennifer wants her revenge ...

Enter at tntmagazine.com/ competitions.

» The film is out on DVD and Blu-ray on February 7.

Jennifer Hills seeks revenge on her brutal attackers

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Giving you old skool Med combined with all the things we love about being on holiday with a great bunch of mates.

• The water at your doorstep and cool drinks on tap.

Freestyle through Eastern Europe with local guides on flexible itineraries giving you the best travel experience with like-minded travellers.

• No bags to carry. No hotels to check in and out of.

• Small buses and small groups - getting you off the beaten track.

Cruise around small islands. Swim everyday in another bay.

Explore small ports, cafes and tavernas. Experience amazing clubs and bars ‘til the early hours.

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

CIRCUS SPACE LONDON: THE FAIRY QUEEN FROM £15 WHAT: An experimental combination of circus performers and orchestra used to tell a fantastic, operatic tale that has been capturing imaginations for more than three centuries.

WHEN: February 11.

DO IT BECAUSE: Southbank Centre stages some of the boldest, offbeat productions in London and this promises to be no exception. Certainly, there are elements of high art in this production, but the physical performance ensures enough of a spectacle to keep everyone interested.

8

» Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX

Waterloo

(southbankcentre.co.uk)

Brick Lane always draws a crowd

Capital idea: Sunday Up Market If you’re heading out east for a spot of market shopping this Sunday, make sure you swing past this place around lunchtime; quite simply, it boasts the best, widest choice of food from all over the world.

Whether you’re into Thai, Japanese, Indian, Spanish, Chinese, Turkish, North African, Caribbean or Sri Lankan – you can get it all here, all under the one roof.

Some of the dumplings for sale are exquisite, but it’s also hard to go past the mouth-

LONDON BY NUMBERS

330

Source: cityoflondon.gov.uk

LOVE BRUNCH FROM £5

Comedian Robby Gee is set to cop a good flogging from his mates. Nothing like public humiliation to warm the heart.

Head to Notting Hill’s Supperclub for this month’s delicious hangover-curing breakfast banquet before an afternoon of cabaret.

» Shepherd’s Bush Empire,

watering paellas, cooked up before your eyes in giant, sizzling pans. If you’re a bit dusty from the night before, the Ethiopians make the best coffee.

Once you’re suitably fed and watered, head upstairs to one of the best vintage clothing and knick-knack patches on or around Brick Lane. TS

W12 8TT Goldhawk Road (o2shepherdsbushempire. co.uk). Feb 13

» 12 Acklam Rd, W10 5QZ Ladbroke Grove (supperclub.com). Feb 12

» Ely’s Yard, The Old Truman Brewery, E1 6QL Shoreditch High Street (sundayupmarket.co.uk).

Start the party early at Love Brunch

BRITAIN EXPLAINED SHERGAR Shergar was a prized Irish stallion who became a national hero after he won the Epsom Derby by a record 10 lengths in 1981. He was also involved in one of the great unsolved sporting mysteries.

Having been put out to stud following his retirement from racing, Shergar was kidnapped by a group of masked gunmen 28 years ago this week. His body has never been found and no one has ever been charged over the

crime. The police investigation was disastrous from the beginning, and, eventually, detectives resorted to using clairvoyants and psychics.

The thieves tried to negotiate a ransom but the owners refused to pay.

A consensus has emerged since that the IRA was responsible, with accounts emerging from informers that Shergar was shot with a machine-gun after his kidnappers panicked. TS Shergar in his office

Dapper Snapper, Getty Images

Banking firms with offices in central London

COMEDY ROAST LIVE £17

NEW ZEALAND COCKTAILS: Q.F’S . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . £2.00 SHAKERS OF ILLUSION . . . . . . . . . . . £8.90 PACIFIC PASSION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . £8.90 Turn off the light before changing the bulb

BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL £12

SEXUAL NATURE £80

An eye-popping collection of sports, adventure and environmental films arrives in London. An absolute must for adrenaline junkies who love the great outdoors.

An entire exhibition devoted to the sex lives of animals and plants, using dramatic BBC wildlife footage. Some of the mating systems explored are truly bizarre.

Don’t try it at home.

» Union Chapel, Compton

» Natural History Museum,

Terrace, N1 2UN Highbury & Islington (unionchapel.org.uk).

Feb 8-10

Cromwell Rd, SW7 5BD South Kensington (nhm. ac.uk). Feb 11-Oct 2

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NZ STEINLAGER PURE . . . . . . . . . . . £2.50 KIWI BURGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . £5.00 SAUSAGE SIZZLE! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FREE

241 COCKTAILS until 8pm

OPEN 5pm - 12am FREE ENTRY but don’t forget to pre-register at: www.tntmagazine.com/waitanginight

Rafael Cordova

The Carnival: cut from a different cloth

THE CARNIVAL £12

SCRATCH MY CITY £5

Every Thursday night brings an incredible fusion of classical and circus-cabaret acts, featuring fire-breathing ballerinas and burlesque contortionists. Resembles a 1920s speakeasy that has lost its marbles.

Four short plays inspired by newspaper stories from around the country. Scratch My City enjoyed a successful debut last year and has returned to provide an outlet for young theatre actors, writers and directors.

» Proud Cabaret, 1 Mark

» Roundhouse, Chalk Farm

Lane, EC3R 7AH Tower Hill (proudcabaret.com). Feb 10

Rd, NW1 8EH Chalk Farm (roundhouse.org.uk). Feb 10

TUESDAY 8TH FEBRUARY THE ELK BAR: 587 Fulham Road, Fulham Broadway, SW6 5UA TUBE: Fulham Broadway

S ’ E N I T N E L VA ❤ ❤ Y: DA

(Sex,magic,food)

You know you can’t ignore it, so make Valentine’s Day work for you. Whatever it takes...

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

I

t’s the year’s naffest, most commercial celebration but, however much you tell yourself you’re above such tack, you know you’ll be disappointed if Valentine’s Day goes by without so much as a dirty text. So here’s our very learned, scientific guide to getting what you want this year.

If you ’re sin gle FLIRTING Been using the same old chat-up lines for years and getting nowhere? Then it’s time to buff up your talk.

We asked flirt pro Peter Spalton – aka the Dating Doctor – for his ultimate seduction tips. “Make an entrance,” he says. “Before you walk in, take a deep breath, stand tall and open your coat.

“Then stop just inside the entrance, look around, and, if someone smiles at you, smile back.”

Spalton suggest homing in on the lonely person at the edge of a big group. Corner them, then open those charm floodgates.

“Compliments will get you everywhere,” he says. “And physical contact is important. Touch someone between their shoulder and lower back to create a bond.”

So where to try out your newfound schmooze? “Bookshelves and supermarkets,” says Peter. “You can tell a lot about a person by what books they’re looking at or what’s in their trolley.”

Now, shoulders back and off you head to Tesco.

MAGIC So you’ve tried the flirting route and you still can’t get laid. Don’t worry, there’s a magic spell for that!

“Love spell kits are our biggest sellers, followed by ‘return my love to me’ spells,” says Wicca Moon (wiccamoon.org.uk) owner Shirlee who classes herself as a witch with Wiccan ethics.

But, er, does magic actually work then? Yes, according to Shirlee, who attributes her marriage to witchcraft.

“I met my husband a month after I did a love

spell asking for a man with tattoos who owns his own home,” Shirlee says. “And I got exactly what I asked for.”

So here’s how to magic up a Valentine’s Day shag. On full moon, write exactly what sort of person you’re looking for.

Anoint a pink or red candle with rose oil.

Fold the paper with your wish into three and place under the lighted candle.

Visualise the person of your dreams as you chant, “I call upon the universe above, bring for me my perfect love”.

Desperate? You?

TNT Images

Meet your match at the supermarket

Find someone special this year...

SEX If you’ve been in a relationship so long the only thing you throw over the back of the sofa is your coat, read on.

“Everyone should own a sex toy,” Joanna Wierzbicka from sex emporium Sh! very sensibly suggests.

“If you don’t know your own body, you Egg-citing! can’t expect someone else to.”

For women, Wierbicka suggests a Rabbit vibrator to start with because “you can just lie back and let it do all the work”.

Men should invest in a Tenga Egg – a stretchy silicone ball with a textured inside.

OK, so once you’ve risked making yourself go blind, what’s the secret of becoming a world-class lover?

“Expecting sex to be amazing without making any effort is where people go wrong,” Wierbicka says.

She advises ladies to brush up their blow-job techniques with a Blow His Mind class at Sh! “Try using different flavour lubricants and a stimulator gel to add intensity,” Wierbicka says.

“We have lots of girls talking about their G-spots at the moment and not everyone has found theirs yet.

“Helping her out would be a pretty good Valentine’s present.”

Who needs roses?

Every girl’s must-have

LONDON

TNT Images

ip If you ’re in a relationsh

11

Brush-up on your seduction skills

FOOD Don’t underestimate the power of food to keep the flames of passion alive.

Celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson tells TNT that it’s all about the power of suggestion when it comes to scran.

Remind you of anything?

“Figs are supposed to look like women’s genitalia and asparagus is quite phallic,” he says. “But really it’s about the effort you make.”

“It’s about making someone feel sexy and food can do this by association.”

Kitchen visits should be kept to a minimum unless you’ve got a thing for lino. Cook something simple but impressive.

“Lobster is really sexy with all that crunching and tearing and it’s good as you can feed each other bits,” Kew Grill; awtrestaurants.com/ Thompson says. Try baked banana kewgrill). However, Thomson in toffee and rum warns meals are often sauce for desert. wasted, as couple’s either If you can’t stare into each other’s eyes cook, hit a and ignore the food or have restaurant. Not a blazing row. “The day everywhere hikes after’s better as that’s when their prices on people bring in mistresses,” he says.

Valentine’s Day (try the

Figs look “ like women’s genitalia and asparagus is quite phallic

”

TNT online Check out what else is happening in London tntmagazine.com/londonlife

tntmagazine.com

FOOD & DRINK

RESTAURANT REVIEW Gilgamesh ★★★★★

LONDON

The Stables Market, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH. Camden Town

THE SCENE Probably the most beautiful bar in London, Gilgamesh is adorned with hand-carved bronze and wooden statues inspired by the ancient city of Babylon.

12

Sit back on the stylish semicircle sofas with a drink, have a professional head massage and you’ll feel miles away from hectic city life.

THE GRUB There’s a PanAsian lounge menu of sushi, dim sums, and spring rolls.

BEHIND THE BAR Sample some delish Asian-influenced cocktails including the refreshing EA; or fruit/berry

vodka fusion of Shurruppuk.

BILL PLEASE Ok, so we said it was divine – we didn’t say it would come cheap. Cocktails start at £10.50; a bottle of Tiger beer is £4.20, wines from £19 a bottle. And if you really want to splash out, there’s even a £2500 bottle of bubbly.

VERDICT The place to go if you want to impress or do a bit of celeb spotting. Inger Smith

Restaurant review Suka

★★★★★ Sanderson Hotel 50 Berners Street, W1T 3NG, 020 7300 1400 Oxford Circus

THE SCENE A West-End haunt for the suave and swanky.

Glide along the hotel’s glowing Long bar into a dimly-lit restaurant that invokes a sort of oriental allure. You’ll impress a date from the outset, especially if you mention that Amy Winehouse once trashed a room in the celeb-frequented hotel.

THE GRUB Fancy Malaysian eaten from small sharing dishes. Amid the lip-smacking menu are Welsh salt marsh lamb in green curry with curried lentils, chicken skewers in sweet and spicy coconut milk and crispy soft shell crab. Every dish is impeccably presented, but the food falls short of not unreasonable expectations on flavour. The tender lamb falls

AMERICAN EATERIES Dollar Grills and Martini Gaudy and neon-lit, the groundfloor of this Clerkenwell venue has the burgers covered, while you sup martinis in the basement. dollargrillsandmartinis.com

Oriental allure: Suka

lusciously apart at the prod of a fork, but the curry seriously lacks bite. Salty rice cubes accompanying the chicken skewers are a surprise delight, but something tells me this was unintended.

BEHIND THE BAR The cocktails are divine. Knock

your socks off with a Vesuvio – a muddle of vodka, lychee, lemon and chilli.

BILL PLEASE Dishes cost between £10-30.

VERDICT A totally cool place just to be in, with staff who are, refreshingly, unpretentious. Rebecca Kent

The Blues Kitchen Inspired by the dive bars of the Deep South, the menu in this Camden restaurant is full of soul food like BBQ ribs and Key Lime pie. There’s also live music. theblueskitchen.com

Sticky Fingers

tntmagazine.com

TNT images

Former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman owns this Notting Hill haunt that dishes up messy bbq ribs and award-winning steaks. stickyfingers.co.uk

Loisve in

the Air

In a city overflowing with quirks and attractions, Valentine’s Day should be a whole lot more than chocolates and flowers WORDS REBECCA KENT

tntmagazine.com

T

here’s the potential for Valentine’s Day to be expensive, overrated and disappointing. But not with our pick of ideas. Here are some suggestions for romance, something alternative and ways to avoid the schmaltz altogether.

DESPERATE AND SEEKING All that love proffered via the pages of this magazine’s Desperately Seeking will come to life at TNT’s Desperately Seeking Valentine’s Day Bash. Rock up at 7pm for your free love shot at the Grand Union, Kennington, on February 12 then get on the pull. Tickets £8 online. » tntmagazine.com SINGLE AFFAIRS Meet your diamond in the rough at the Hat And Tun love-themed singles’ quiz, in Hatton Garden, the heart of London’s jewellery quarter. It costs £2. On Feb 12, find your Zorro at the Night Of Magic, Mystery And Masquerade in the City.

Magician Brendan Patrick, plus a fortune teller will work the room. Tickets, at £7.50 include a bellini on arrival. » thehatandtun.com and london. citysocialising.com

Freaky love at the Torture Garden

LONDON

Don’t forget the bubbly...

EYE IN THE SKY The London Eye takes romance to new heights with a variety of ‘flights’, including the Cupid’s Capsule, available between February 6-14, where for £330 you get bubbly, truffles and astonishing views. » londoneye.com

MarcusT, Getty Images, TNT Images

MEAL FOR TWO The Metropolitan Hotel is laying on libido-enhancing afternoon teas laced with aphrodisiacs like ginger, chillichocolate and champagne. Bookings for between February 9-14, between 3-6pm, cost £27 per person, which includes a £15 voucher redeemable at the Lingerie Collective, in Ganton Street. » metropolitan.london. como.bz GET SKETCHY Get kinky and creative at The Old Queens Head pub in Islington with a life drawing class hosted by the Dr Sketchy art school on February 14 from 8pm. It’s not all nude and definitely not serious. £8.50. » theoldqueenshead.com A FINE LINE Partial to pleasure, or pain? Choose one and do a themed night safari through the Natural History Museum. Explore the pleasurable side of love in the natural world and find out how to make a love

Romance is high on the agenda

15 potion. If you plump for pain, you’ll learn how the sentiment is rife in nature and learn which species poke each other with barbed appendages. Tours run between 6.30-10.30pm and cost £28. » nhm.ac.uk

ADMIRE THE VIEW Get all star-crossed at the Greenwich Royal Observatory’s racy Valentine Stars planetarium show. It’s a unique after-dark experience of star gazing and moon watching. There are four shows on Valentine’s Day. Tickets £28. » nmm.ac.uk FOODIE LOVE The alternative dining experience, Supperclub in Notting Hill, wants you to round up your mates and feel the love at its Love Brunch on February 12. Start with bellinis and bloody marys at midday then feast out and dance. Entertainment til 6pm. » supperclub.com GET YOUR FREAK ON Indulge your fetishes in a room full of beauties, circus freaks, punks and goths at the Torture Garden: Jealous Love Valentine’s Ball on February 12. It’s going to be a gargantuan gropetastic affair of aerial performances, erotic installations and cabaret between 9pm-6am. Tickets £30. » torturegarden.com LAUGH ABOUT IT Chuckle at the ridiculousness of love with the Covent Garden Comedy Club on February 14. It is presenting a Valentine’s special at the HMV Forum in Kentish Town. East End comedy legend Lee Hurst and slick one-liner merchant Gary Delaney are on the bill. The show kicks off at 7pm.

Tickets £15-£21. » coventgardencomedyclub.com

A NOVEL VALENTINE’S DAY TEXPERTS IN LOVE Dateless on Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, there’s a novel way for the forlorn to pass time – at least we think so.

“When will I find love?” is one of the most frequently asked questions to text answer service 6336.

We asked the question and got this back: “You will find true love. You will first find happiness on your own, and then you will meet your soul mate at the end of August 2011.”

This was clearly an intuitive response from a seasoned astrologer. For research’s sake, we posed another pearler: “Will my girlfriend ever be comfortable with my cross-dressing?”

It prompted this sage response: “If your girlfriend isn’t comfortable with your cross-dressing now, it’s unlikely she ever will be. Have a heart-to-heart with her and decide what to do.”

Granted, at £1 or more a text, it’s pricey advice, but it beats sticking rose stems in your eyes.

Don’t spend Val Day alone

TNT online Stuck for Valentine’s ideas? Find more here tntmagazine.com/londonlife

SPOTTED ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

LONDON

Call us on 020 7373 3377 or come down to the TNT office so we can ID you.

You’ve won three Lonely Planet (lonelyplanet.com) guides of your choice. PLUS for another chance to win, log on to tntmagazine.com/ gallery and see if you’ve been circled.

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TNT QUEENSLAND FLOOD RELIEF APPEAL Walkabout Shepherd’s Bush, Saturday, Jan 29 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/TNT Images

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LONDON

SILLY BUGGERS

18

It’s my first Valentine’s Day with a new girlfriend. I think the whole thing is a bit of a scam and would prefer to ignore it but she is really excited. Should I be honest or buckle?

Q

A

Sure, maintain your integrity and stand up to the whole Valentine’s Day bullying. Remember to congratulate yourself during your lonely, single’s man wank in the shower.

We don’t actually care about flowers and chocolates; Valentine’s Day is just part of the cruel joke we play on men – like how we insist on our

TOOL OF THE WEEK Local shop, local racists

A

Relationships are all about compromise. You don’t regard Valentine’s Day as a major event, while your girlfriend does. Unfortunately, you’re just going to have to take one for the team here.

I had a girlfriend who, after moving into my loft apartment, revealed she was a member of an esoteric religion – she never told me its name – that decreed women in relationships should have Holier than thou sex with

other people on weekends.

My girlfriend was extremely devout in this area; she would bring home two, even three guys to assist in her all-night religious observance.

Initially, I was apprehensive but I came to the conclusion that, in a relationship, the partner who gives ground is in fact the stronger of the two.

The relationship ended when she gave me the clap and claimed I gave it to her, but it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

# 414

CONVERT TO HASIDIC JUDAISM – SHE’S ONLY IN IT FOR THE FACIAL HAIR

Silly Buggers™

Getty Images

A Kiwi politician has taken it upon herself to protest outside a Cambodian takeaway joint on the grounds that the owners were not local enough and were “bleeding the town dry”.

New Plymouth councillor Sherril George handed out leaflets urging shoppers to boycott the restaurant and even indicated she had asked immigration authorities to run a visa check.

Rightly, George’s campaign has drawn unanimous disgust from her constituents and fellow councillors.

independence but still expect you to pay for shit. Hilarious.

Whereas men have pissing contests over how badly they can treat women and still get laid, women compete over how demanding we can be and still have you coming back for more. So Valentine’s Day is basically our Super Bowl.

And if you refuse to go along with that, then we’ll just trade you in for another who accepts those terms. Deal with it, champ.

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STAR SPOTTING Inger Smith WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ

NEW ZEALAND

SUPERSIZE ME: Say goodbye to Hugh Jackman’s slimline figure, as the Aussie actor has started a strict food and training regime.

He’s been told by producers to beef up in the name of art – well, for the next Wolverine film, that is.

“It’s 6000 calories a day.

It’s rough,” he said.

“Right now, I’m at 210,” he added (around 20lbs heavier than back in 2009).

The determined actor joked: “If I have a heart attack, you tell everyone what I was going for.”

➩

Tiny Wolverine – he’ll be bigger and stronger next time around

A GOOD WEEK FOR

After six years of marriage, Ashton Kutcher has finally decided to sell his bachelor pad and cut his ties with his wild single years. Well, what can we say – congratulations Demi Moore. He’s all yours now!

TNT images, Getty images

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

Lindsay Lohan has been caught on camera wearing a £1500 necklace she’s been accused of stealing. The actress claims she was told she could borrow the gem.

ORIGINS OF CROWE The nationality of New Zealand-born Australian actor Russell Crowe has always been a hot topic among Aussies and Kiwis. And now even more countries are being thrown into the heritage mix ...

Content manager Brad Argent who researched Crowes’ history for website Ancestry.com.au said: “His ancestry includes North and South Island ancestry, tribal connections, a Welsh grandfather, Scandinavian

Forty Mile bush connections, Italian and possible also convict ancestry.”

Phew, that’s a bit of a mouthful! But it doesn’t end there. Ol’ Rusty is also a direct relative of warrior tribe Ngati Porou since his great-greatgreat-grandfather, John Hayes, who was a trader in the East Cape, New Zealand, in 1834, married a Maori woman.

Well, so the rough Gladiator star has got warrior bloods in his veins. Surprised? Nope.

SAY WHAT?

”From Charlie Sheen you believe that, cos that happened to him. Twice!”

Two And A Half Men’s Jon Cryer’s reaction when his costar said: “Somebody stole my car and ran it off a cliff last night”.

New Idea: Kiwi actress Rebecca Gibney opens up about her sorrow as she’s forced to leave her beloved Tassie property; plus the Kiwi dads who made life-changing decisions.

Woman’s Weekly: Shortland Street’s Peter Mochrie talks about his love for son Cade.

AUSTRALIA Woman’s Day: Move over Shane Warne – your ex Simone Callahan has found herself a new, younger man; Aussie power couple Rove McManus and wife Tasma Walton show off their beach bods in Perth before heading back to their new LA life; and Kath & Kim’s Magda Szubanski is enjoying herself on Bondi Beach after her massive 26kg weight loss.

SOUTH AFRICA You: Isidingo actor Arno Marais returns to the popular series seven months after the horrible car crash that almost took his life; radio host, singer and new Idols’ judge Unathi Msengana talks about her new TV career and baby No 2; and the first pics of Elton John’s surrogate baby Zachary.

Heat: The SA celebs flocked to the Audi A1 launch – vrooom.

tntmagazine.com

ENTERTAINMENT

CELEBRITY NEWS

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

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TNT LIFE ENTERTAINMENT

Celebrate Waitangi Day in style

TNT COMEDY CLUB VALENTINE Treat your partner to some first-class comedy with some of the UK’s finest stand-ups at The Forum this Valentine’s Day.

» The Forum, Highgate Rd NW5 1JY Kentish Town.

8pm on Mon, Feb 14. See tntmagazine.com/comedy

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WAITANGI COCKTAIL NIGHT Celebrate Waitangi Day in style with TNT at our Kiwi cocktail night, held at The Elk Bar tomorrow, Tuesday, February 8. There will be delicious cocktails as well as New Zealand drinks specials all night including £2.50 bottles of Steinlager Pure, £2 QFs, £5 Backdraughts, £8.90 Shakers of

Illusion and Pacific Passion. Plus enjoy 2-4-1 cocktails and £8.90 for cocktail jugs till 8pm as well as £5 Kiwi Burgers and free sausage sizzle till 9pm. » Elk Bar, Fulham Rd, SW6 5UA Fulham Broadway. 5pm until midnight on Tue, Feb 8. See tntmagazine.com/waitanginight

The TNT Travel Show 2011 Bag great bargains and listen to free travel talks at TNT’s Travel Show, sponsored by Taxback.com, on Saturday, March 19.

The event is free when pre-registering online, or pay £1 on the door.

SPOTLIGHT ON TNT THEATRE DISCOUNTS Reckon it’s too expensive to go to the theatre in London?

Think again!

TNT’s brand new ticketing service gives readers up to 50 per cent discount on some of the best West End plays and musicals, with tickets starting from only £10.99 per person.

There are plenty of great shows to choose from including Dirty Dancing, The Woman In Black and Chicago – as well as cheap dinner packages so you and your friends can have a meal and see a show for a bargain price.

» See tntmagazine.com/ theatre

» Earl’s Court Exhibition Ctr, Warwick Rd, SW5 9TA Earl’s Court. See tnttravelshow.com Register today!

TNT VALENTINE’S DAY BASH Are you a fan of the Desperately Seeking page?

Then come along to TNT’s Desperately Seeking Valentine’s Day party on Saturday, February 12.

Tickets are only £8 (£10 on the door) and include entry, a ‘Love shot’, live entertainment from Brooke Supple plus DJ sets. Competition prizes include a month’s membership

to TNT Dating. For details, see tntmagazine.com/valentines.

» Grand Union Kennington, SE11 6SF Lambeth North.

7pm-2.30am. Sat, Feb 12.

TNT online For a full guide to upcoming TNT events go to tntmagazine. com/events

LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB? At tntjobs.co.uk you can find more than 9000 positions available across all sectors in the UK as well as abroad.

Our easy-to-use search engine allows you to browse jobs by sector, location and salary, helping you find the kind of vacancies you’re looking for in a tick.

» See tntjobs.co.uk

TNT Images, Getty Images

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Don’t be lonely this Valentine’s Day...

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

Voted number one Aussie spinner two years running, trance DJ Tyson Illingworth makes his London debut this week INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER With all your jetsetting, you’re a tough person to pin down for a chat. You’ve got a song called Meet Me In Kyoto; is that what life for a DJ is like?

It is a bit like that. Sometimes I spend only one night in one city. Actually, sometimes I do two cities in one night. I’ll do a show in an afternoon, get on a plane and fly to a different city to do another show. It starts to feel like the world is your home, rather than just one city.

That must mess with your head a bit.

It’s gotten to the point now where there’s particular hotel chains that I like to stay with cos they theme their rooms the same worldwide, for example The Hilton, so it makes me feel like I’ve got a bedroom.

It just keeps that tiny little bit of homeliness happening As as kid you traded in your drumkit for turntables, is that right?

Yes, much to my parents’ dismay.

What, your parents were upset when you got rid of the drumkit?!

Well, they weren’t happy with the drumkit to start with, but then I was trading that for something they didn’t really understand. And I still don’t think my parents get what I do [laughs].

The drumkit was something they could comprehend, but a kid buying decks so they can play loud, repetitive electronic music is harder for parents to understand.

job is somewhere between playing music that I love and getting a crowd rocking.

You were voted Australia’s number one DJ two years running. An ego boost?

It was absolutely crazy. The first time I got the call to say I was number one was one of the happiest days of my life. It’s a public vote, that’s why it meant so much to me.

I don’t play “ music I wouldn’t listen to myself ”

And then this year you got knocked off the perch to number 2. Damn!

Have they been to see you play?

You’ve played in front of 42,000.

Is that a lot of pressure?

Mum has come to one of my shows and she had too many cocktails and she got a little too proud and was walking around saying to people: “That’s my son!” I think she wanted to get on stage at one point so I think it’s best that mum doesn’t mix with my clubworld.

What’s your DJ style?

I prefer to play after a house DJ because my music is often a lot slower than other DJs and it’s very progressive and chunky ... it’s more about the feel for me. I don’t play music that I wouldn’t listen to myself.

Fifty per cent of my shows is music I’ve written myself and the other fifty per cent is stuff I’ve edited or done things to. The

This year it was Aston Shuffle – very talented DJs – I really like their music.

I knew at some point I would be leaving Australia to play around the world so I was really happy to see them get that.

I’ve learnt, the bigger the crowd, the easier it is to entertain them. If you’ve got 50 people in a room and it’s intimate, the music you play can affect whether those people stay or leave, but if you have 20,000 people, no one’s going anywhere.

» Playing at The Gallery, Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (ministryofsound. com) Fri, Feb 18. £13.

See tyDi at The Gallery with three of your friends. The prize includes a VIP table, champagne and CDs. To enter email grabs@tntmagazine. com with “tyDi” in the subject line.

WIN

YOU DON’T SAY? Porn star name?

My first pet was a little white puppy called Mintie, as in the lollie. But I can’t remember my first street name. Mintie, that’s a bad porn name!

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Red wine - Shiraz is my favourite.

What song is guranteed to get you on the dancefloor?

White Room by White Room, written eight years ago.

ENTERTAINMENT

tyDi

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CINEMA True Grit

SCREEN TEST: THE COEN BROTHERS

Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Hailee Steinfeld, Josh Brolin

ENTERTAINMENT

STARRING:

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CERT: 15 RT: 110 MINS

★★★★★

Jeff Bridges and the Coen brothers clearly bring out the best in each other. Having given us the iconic The Big Lebowski, the trio combine to deliver another classic film crammed with visual virtuosity, crackling dialogue and flawless performances.

Based on the Charles Portis book – famously made into a John Wayne film in 1969 – True Grit tells the story of 14year-old Mattie Ross (Steinfeld) who hires harddrinking US Marshal Rooster Cogburn (Bridges) to track down the man who killed her father. Joining them on their hunt for miscreant Tom Chaney (Brolin) is arrogant Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (Damon), who also wants to bring him to justice. With its exceptional cinematography and captivating characters,

1 Which character uttered the words: “Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me!” in Fargo?

2 Name the actress who played her.

3 Which Coen brother is she married to?

4 No Country For Old Men is based on the book by ... ?

5 What’s Jeff Bridges’ nickname in The Big Lebowski?

“Betcha I can hit that tin can”

True Grit casts a spell from the start. The Oscar-nominated script allows the cast to engage in some great verbal sparring and Bridges and Damon have a ball putting each other down.

Impressively, Steinfeld more than holds her own in some

heavyweight company, putting in a moving and funny performance. The teen’s stirring turn is one of the many reasons why True Grit is truly unmissable.

GOOD FOR: Coen Bruv aficionados. PIERRE DE VILLIERS

THE REEL DEAL

tntmagazine.com

3 Clint Eastwood 4 Muhammad Ali 5 Raging Bull LAST WEEK’S WINNER Nikki Smiton

YOGI BEAR CERT: U RT: 80 MINS

★★★★★

Hollywood’s misguided plan to re-imagine every classic TV show continues with this instantly forgettable offering starring picnic basket-grabbing bear Yogi. The vocal work by Dan Aykroyd (Yogi) and Justin Timberlake as sidekick Boo Boo is solid but in a time when Pixar is setting the animation bar so high, this is average.

BAD FOR Fans of the original Yogi Bear. PDV

(Black Swan), who is now the hot favourite for Oscar glory.

The Banff World Tour returns to London this week with a collection of extraordinary short films from the world’s most prestigious mountain film festival.

Exhilarating and thought-provoking, this is a must-see for mountain enthusiasts and cinephiles alike. The festival began in 1976 and features some of the world’s best footage of mountain pursuits.

Find out more about the festival at banff-uk.com.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Fight Club 2 Hilary Swank

JUST GO WITH IT CERT: 12A RT: 110 MINUTES

★★★★★ Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston prove they are the new king and queen of unwatchable movies with this embarrassingly bad rom-com about a doctor who gets his assistant to pose as an ex-wife to impress his new girlfriend.

Nicole Kidman’s appearance only adds to the misery in a film packed with lame gags.

GOOD FOR: Nothing. PDV

Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc, Getty Images

Nicole Kidman and Geoffrey Rush might not pick up Oscars after all, if their run at the Screen Actors Guild Awards is anything to go by.

Both missed out on gongs for best lead female and best supporting male respectively at the awards which tend to predict the Oscars.

But Rush’s film The King’s Speech picked up the best lead male SAG for Colin Firth’s turn as the stammering monarch, King George VI. Kidman, pictured, was ultimately pipped by Natalie Portman

For a chance to win a copy of Accidents Happen starring Geena Davis, out on DVD on February 14, email answers to grabs@ tntmagazine. com by noon on Wed with ‘Accidents’ in the subject line.

WIN

CULTURE ROALD DAHL’S TWISTED TALES These five tales within a double framing device range from creepy to gruesome as a stranger entertains his fellow 1950s commuters with his sinister stories. Some are more successful than others – it’s soon obvious that a taxidermist landlady has no intention of providing bed or breakfast for her guest, that the dentist husband of an adulterous wife has also been having a bit on the side, and that a viciously sadistic public schoolboy will get his comeuppance.

But adapter Jeremy Dyson

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre and director Polly Findlay really ratchet up the tension when an American tourist bets his little finger against the Cadillac staked by a cleaver-wielding gambler, and there’s a certain satisfaction watching the wife of a cancer-ridden philosopher taking posthumous revenge on the remains of her controlling spouse. LOUISE KINGSLEY

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» Lyric Hammersmith, King Street, W6 0QL (0871 221 1726) Hammersmith. lyric. co.uk. Until Feb 26. From £10.

æ

For more theatre reviews visit tntmagazine.com

æ

Jonathan Danciger as Young Perkins and George Rainsford as Foxley

WORTH A LOOK Theatre legend Peter Hall directs his daughter Rebecca in Shakespearean comedy Twelfth Night » National Theatre, SE1 9PX

adaptation of DBC Pierre’s satire Vernon God Little in •Revived Southwark (youngvic.org). Until Mar 5.£10-£27.50.

Waterloo (nationaltheatre.org.uk). Until March 2. £10-£28.50

which school kid Vernon escapes to Mexico. » The Young Vic, 66 The Cut, SE1 8LZ

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT NOW

SEXUAL NATURE

BATTLE HYMN OF THE TIGER MOTHER

A DISCOVERY OF WITCHES

Amy Chua (Bloomsbury Publishing )

Deborah Harkness

FEB 7

(Headline) FEB 8

Amy Chua relates her experiences raising her children the ‘Chinese way’, and how one daughter, Sophia, flourished under the regime while the other, Lulu, rebelled.

When witch and historian Diana Bishop opens an alchemical manuscript in the Bodleian Library, it’s an unwelcome intrusion of magic into her carefully ordered life.

THE WAR THAT NEVER WAS

THE HAIRY BIKERS’ BEST-LOVED RECIPES

And we homo sapiens think we get up to some kinky stuff.

Well we’ve got nothing on the sex lives of animals and plants as the National History Museum’s new exhibition is sure to demonstrate.

Museum specimens, live creatures multi-sensory exhibits and dramatic BBC wildlife footage of animals

going at it all paint a picture of sexual selection and varied mating systems. Also on show will be specially commissioned exhibits that have never been on public display before. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, too.

» Natural History Museum, Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD South Kensington (nhm.ac. uk). Feb 11-Oct 2. £8.

Duff Hart-Davis

Alastair Muir; © Natural History Museum

(Century) FEB 10

The story of British mercenaries sent on a covert operation to train and lead Yemeni tribesmen in their fight against a 60,000strong contingent of Egyptian soldiers in during the early 60s.

Si King and Dave Myers (W&N) FEB 10

TVs Hairy Bikers, Si and Dave toured the country in search of ordinary mums and their favourite recipes, many of which are compiled here.

MORE EXHIBITIONS See works inspired by life at the

Glenfiddich distillery at Reflecting Glenfiddich » The Fleming Collection,

W1J 8DU Birds of a feather, f*** together....

•The danger and beauty

Green Park. Until Feb 26. Free.

of the WWII blackouts is captured at Night Visions » Imperial War Museum, SE1 6HZ

North Lambeth (iwm.org.uk) Until March 6. Free.

tntmagazine.com

CUT FROM A H T O L C T N E R DIFFE ged in so me aural ul d in y p o C ut C , o tr c Sick o f ele sco pe. It paid off no Zo um lb a w ne n o experimentation ER WO RD S ALI SO N GR INT

In making Zonoscope, the band were keen to put some distance between themselves and Australia’s thriving electro scene made up of contemporaries like The Presets and the Midnight Juggernauts. “This time around we felt like we’d done that and when we came to write this record we weren’t around those bands anymore so we were just doing our own thing.”

Despite the change in direction, Zonsoscope is unmistakably a Cut Copy album, boasting the kind of warm, shimmering synths which made their previous album In Ghost Colours such a critical hit around the world when it was released in 2008.

But what really sets it apart from In Ghost Colours is the percussion which, in places, is absolutely bonkers. Sun God, for example, sounds like Gloria Estefan has been let loose in a drum shop.

“We were working on the track overnight with an extended synth and percussion jam and then listened to it the next day – it was this crazy sprawling jam that went for several minutes.

“We thought ‘this needs to be on the record’. It was an experiment but one we thought people needed to hear,” Whitford says. The band also eschewed a producer preferring to “working by ourselves” but did enlist the help of Ben Allen, whose previous work elevated albums from the likes of Animal Collective and Gnarls Barkley, to mix Zonoscope.

One element of Zonoscope which has fast become a talking point is the cover art depicting of New York City engulfed in a waterfall. The image Ar twork by Tsunehis a Kim ura was created by the late Japanese artist Tsunehisa strange feat of endurance.”

Kimura – the same artist But while they were freezing, Cut Copy behind the apocalyptic cover art for were dreaming of somewhere warm and Midnight Oil’s iconic Red Sails In The tropical, the kind of place soundtracked Sunset album. “It’s something I didn’t by exotic instrumentation. Pleasingly, this realise ‘til after we used the image,” says vision was realised in their third album, Whitford. He is quite chuffed by the Zonoscope, an aural utopia of organic unintentional connection but much less psychedelia and tribal rhythms. interested in the spectre of environmental Are they sure they weren’t actually vandalism evoked by such pictures. recording in a jungle somewhere?

“For me it’s more surreal and Whitford laughs. “It was more like dreamlike; it’s about the contrast of the dreaming of this other place. For us it manmade with more natural beauty.” was more like escapism and imagining It’s an idea that’s more than reflected another place. And in a way that was in Cut Copy’s new sound. far more tantalising than actually going » Zonoscope out February 7 through somewhere exotic. Very often the vision Modular. Cut Copy, Forum, Sun, Mar 6 you have in your mind is better than (0844 844 0444). £16.50 what you experience in real life.”

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC & CLUBS

W

hat’s next for a band who’ve blazed a trail for a host of soundalike acts with their groundbreaking debut album, then neatly sidestepped the sophomore slump with a follow-up LP hailed to the heavens by critics and fans alike, as Cut Copy have done?

No one much talks about the tricky third album, but it’s often this point in a band’s career when they are most in danger of going stale. For the synth-pop outfit the answer to this conundrum was to pursue a policy of isolationism.

The band, now made up of Dan Whitford (vocals), Tim Hoey (guitar, sampler) Ben Browning (bass) and Mitchell Scott (drums) holed themselves up in an industrial warehouse in Melbourne, with only themselves, some basic equipment and an arsenal of unusual percussion instruments (bongos, rototoms and cowbells) for company.

“It was freezing,” reminisces Whitford.

“It was the middle of winter for some of the recording and we had one little bar heater to heat this huge open space.

“It obviously didn’t work so we’d be all be huddled around it and we’d send one unlucky person up the other end of the space to record a part and they’d run straight back to the heater. It was a pretty

27

MUSIC

MUSIC & CLUBS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Arcade Fire, Mumford And Sons, The Vaccines Hyde Park, June 30 (0870 264 3333). £48

CUT COPY Zonoscope (Modular)

28

FAST FORWARD

★★★★★

With two hit albums already under their belts, Melbourne electro outfit Cut Copy could have rested nice and comfy on their laurels, put out another long player full of their signature, lush, Frenchinspired electro, and they would have shifted units, no problem. Not that they’ve reinvented the wheel with third album Zonoscope, but

Stairway to heaven?

their experimental, year-zero approach to recording has certainly given their sound more depth and vibrancy.

The percussion is gloriously cacophonous, the melodies kaleidoscopic, the synths

dappled, the beats pounding and the vibe positively joyous.

Dan Whitford overreaches himself on the vocals occasionally but this is small stuff. A real serotonin-booster.

ALISON GRINTER

JAMES BLAKE

THE STREETS

TEDDY THOMPSON

James Blake (Atlas / A&M) Hugely tipped Londoner unleashes his innovative soul meets dubstep debut.

Computers And Blues (Atlantic) Fifth and possibly final LP from urban poet “laureate” Mike Skinner under The Streets guise.

Bella (Decca) Fifth album from ex-muso for Roseanne Cash, and son of Brit folkies, Richard and Linda.

ALSO OUT

MUSIC NEWS Kings Of Leon

Rockers Kings of Leon have been forced to postpone tour dates in Australia and South Africa to allow their drummer to recover from surgery.

Nathan Followill went under the knife for a torn bicep, and has been advised by doctors not to perform for at least three months. This means the KOL’s March shows

CHARTS

have been moved to November, thought dates haven’t been confirmed yet.

Followill apologised to fans on Twitter saying: “Sorry to all the fans in Australia and South Africa. My bum wing needs more time to heal but we’ll be back later this year.”

Ticket holders are advised to hold on to their tickets until further notice.

Places Like These and their first album with Modular.

“Moment Bends was all about being at one with our ideas, obsessed with popular music and falling in love with our hometown,” the band’s main man Cameron Bird said.

“We wanted to build a record to get lost in.”

Melbourne experimentalists Architecture in Helsinki are set to release their first new album in almost four years.

The LP, Moment Bends, is the band’s first release since

Cameron Bird

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

UK

No 1 single Dirty Talk, Wynter Gordon No 1 album Greatest Hits...So Far, Pink

No 1 single Rise Up 2.0, Six60 No 1 album Sigh No More, Mumford And Sons

No 1 single Raise Your Glass, Pink No 1 album Afrikaans Is Big 3 Various Artists

No 1 single We R Who We R Ke$ha No 1 album 21, Adele

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Grinspoon The Garage, Feb 25 (0844 847 1678). £12.50 Jamiroquai The O2, Apr 15 (theo2.co.uk). £53 Kylie The O2, Apr 7-9, 11-12 (0115 993 4166). £65-£85 The Naked And Famous Shepherds Bush Empire, May 20 (0844 844 0444). £14.50.

Pulp Wireless Festival, Hyde Park, Jul 3 (0871 230 1094). £50 Peter, Bjorn and John Dingwalls, (0870 264 3333), Mar 30 (0870 264 3333). £12.

Katy Perry Hammersmith Apollo, Mar 17-19 (0844 844 4748). £25 Robyn Roundhouse, Mar 3 (0870 264 3333). £18.50 Sparkadia New Players Theatre, Feb 21 (08444 77 1000). £10 Suede Brixton Academy, May 1920 (0844 477 2000). £TBC

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AUSTRALIA

The Australian Pink Floyd Show Hammersmith Apollo, Mar 20 (0844 844 4748). £29.50 Bon Jovi Hard Rock Calling, Hyde Park, Jun 25 (hardrockcalling.co.uk). £66 Chase And Status Roundhouse Mar 11 (0844 482 8008). £16.50 Cut Copy Forum, Mar 6 (0844 844 0444). £16.50 Elbow The O2, Mar 28 (0844 856 0202). £31 Tommy Emmanuel The Forum, Apr 29 (0844 477 2000). £25 Ben Folds Hammersmith Apollo, Feb 20 (0844 844 4748). £35

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MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK ROXY MUSIC What is it about kids giving their rockstar dads a bad name? More recently it was Charlie, son of Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmour, making a tit of himself at a student demo. Prior to that, Bryan Ferry’s pro-hunting son Otis got banged up.

What’s that got to do with the music? Well, Otis’ actions kind of undermines his Dad’s band’s mystique a bit. We love Roxy Music’s music because it’s elegant, sexy, suave and above stuff like po-faced politics. The ‘80s new romantic heroes are in town this week to plug latest LP Olympia.

31

» The O2, Peninsular Sq, SE10 North Greenwich (0844 856 0202) theo2.co.uk. Mon, Feb, 7. £50-£75.

GRANDMASTER FLASH

Suave, sexy sounds from Bryan Ferry et al

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

Grandmaster Flash was the first turntablist to make cutting, scratching and mixing an integral part of hip hop.

Now, 30 years since he first burst from the Bronx, Joseph Saddler is still mixing, cutting and innovating like his life depends on it. See the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductee live as he returns for this intimate show.

The emo ship has sailed, hasn’t it? Now it’s all dubstep, dubstep, Jessie J and more dubstep. Well try telling My Chemical Romance that (they hate the emo tag, but with all that eyeliner, who are they kidding?) The New Jersey poppunk juggernaut run through their gothtinged back catalogue at this Wembley mega-show.

» Scala, 275 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL

» Wembley Arena, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH

Kings Cross.

Thur, Feb 10 (0870 534 4444) scala-london.co.uk £18.50.

NEW BAND ALERT

Park (0844 815 0815) wembley.co.uk

FESTIVAL WATCH Tickets now on sale Bilbao BBK Coldplay Jack Johnson, Amy Winehouse and Chemical Brothers confirmed.

Bilbao, Spain (bilbaobbklive. com). Jul 7-9. 3 day early bird tickets £75.

Blissfields Theme: ‘Out of this world”.

Winchester (blissfields.co.uk.), Jun 30-Jul 3. W/e tickets £65.

Sea Of Bees

Getty Images

THE BUZZ SO FAR Self-trained, Sacramento indie-popper Julie

Ann Baenziger is a talented multi-instrumentalist whose pretty folky, woozy tunes bring Mazzy Star happily to mind.

WHAT ELSE? Her mellifluous voice prompted one broadsheet to describe her as: “A shyer Cat Power with a tale to tell.”

That tale involves Baenziger falling in love with a girl blessed of a beautiful voice at her local church. She then spent years secretly teaching herself how to sing. By all accounts she didn’t get the girl but crafted a gorgeously heartfelt album instead.

THE PLUG Debut album Song For The Ravens out Feb 7.

Wembley Sat, Feb 12. £27.50.

Cambridge Folk Festival Tickets on sale on Sunday February 27.

Cherry Hinton Hall, Cambridge (cambridgefolkfestival.co.uk), Jul 28-31. W/e tickets £114.

Download Festival System Of A Down, Linkin Park, Pendulum, Korn.

Donington Park, Leicestershire (downloadfestival.com). June 10-12. W/e tickets £180

Exit Festival Arcade Fire confirmed.

Novi Sad, Serbia. (exitfest.org).

Jul 7-10. Early bird pass £89 Guilfest Razorlight confirmed.

Guildford (guilfest.co.uk).

Jul 15-17. W/e ticket £110.

Liverpool Sound City Black Lips, The Whip, Spank Rock, Willy Mason .

Liverpool (liverpoolsoundcity. co.uk). May 19-21. £TBC Oxegen Blink 182, Arctic Monkeys, Foo Fighters confirmed.

Kildare, Ireland (oxegen.ie). Jul 7-10. €199.50 with camping Rockness The Chemical Brothers and Kasabian confirmed.

Dores, near Inverness (rockness.co.uk). Jun 10-12.

W/e tickets £149

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MUSIC LISTINGS Utterly contagious: The Vaccines

MONDAY 7

Damo Suzuki, Chips For The Poor The Japanese

MUSIC & CLUBS

Olof Arnalds The Reykjavikbased singer-songwriter and guitarist performs acoustic folk. The Tabernacle, Powis Sq, off Portobello Rd, W11 2AY (020 7221 9700). £12.50.

Xander & The Peace Pirates, Mad Dog Soulful rock and

The Windmill, Blenheim Gardens, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700). £8.

blues by the Liverpool-based band. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D

Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £22.50-£27.50, VIP £35.

Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £15-£32.50.

FRIDAY 11

singer-songwriter. The Green

James Apollo Indie-Americana and rock by the New York-based singer-songwriter. The Slaughtered

Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8, adv £7.

Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £8, adv £6.

Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Little Harlem Swing and R‘n’B from the London-based band.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £14, mems £13.

Roxy Music: For Your Pleasure Tour The seminal art rock outfit reunites for its 40th anniversary. O2

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

THE VACCINES Electric Ballroom, NW1 8QP Camden Town.

(0871 2200 260) Thur, Apr 7. £12.50.

Hot to trot London newcomers The Vaccines have been named in every “best new band” list going. Check out the quartet’s joyful pop when they perform tracks from their debut LP in Spring.

WEDNESDAY 9

Trusage, Leesa Desilva, Sophia Blackburn Grime

Julie Atherton Easy listening

from the London-based rapper. Proud Camden, The Horse

Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £50-£75.

and showtunes from the Londonbased singer-actress. Trafalgar

Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). £5, guestlist £4.

Jimmy Webb The Grammy

Studios, Whitehall, SW1A 2DY (0844 871 7627). £20, concs £18.

award-winning songwriter and pianist performs country.

The Jo Burt Experience

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £20£27.50, concs £10-£13.75.

TUESDAY 8 Art Vs Science, Gold Future Joy Machine, Proxies The Australian three-piece plays electro and dance-punk.

Joao Bosco & Vinicius Brazilian pop from the two vocalists. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £25.

Do contestant performs songs from his album So Close. Trafalgar Studios, Whitehall, SW1A 2DY (0844 871 7627). £20, concs £18.

Fen, Wodensthrone The four-piece plays dark metal.

Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £10, adv £8.

HMV Next Big Thing: Caitlin Rose, Delta Maid Country and folk from the Nashvillebased singer-songwriter. The

Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0905 020 3999/ cc 0844 477 2000). £14.50.

Chameleons Vox, Adoration, This Is Radio Silence Melodic Islington, N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £12.

Closterkeller Gothic metal from the Polish five-piece. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £20, adv £15.

HMV Next Big Thing: Rival Sons, Sons Of Icarus The Californian outfit plays heavy blues-rock. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0845 603 8576). £10.

Kele, Joker, Pariah Bloc

Actress, 3 Trapped Tigers, Seams Live 2-step from DJ

Henry Armburg Jennings, Quentin Collins Modern

Kent Rd, SE1 6TJ (020 7701 1500). £12.

Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

Darren Cunningham. The City

jazz from the London-based trumpeter. LSO St Luke’s, Old

Manteca, Martha Acosta

Esben And The Witch, Trophy Wife Dark unsettling

Arts & Music Project, City Rd, EC1Y 2BJ (020 7253 2443). £10.

Jon Boden & The Remnant Kings Folk from the founder of

rock with a Gothic twist from the Brightonian band. XOYO, Cowper

Bellowhead. Kings Place, York Way,

St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £8.50.

N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £9.50-£29.50.

Latin and salsa from the Colombian-based singer and band. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe

Rolf Julius And Miki Yui: Lost Sound The artists collaborate

Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

in an experimental concert that will form the foundations for an installation. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St,

Murderdolls, Black Veil Brides The band plays HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £17.50.

E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £8, adv £7.

St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £30 & £70.

The Bravery Electronic indie-

Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £9.

Kadialy Kouyate And Sound Archive A blend of

Flamenco Festival London 2011: Miguel Poveda

world, acoustica and blues.

HMV Next Big Thing: Katzenjammer The Norwegian

And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £15, adv £12.

four-piece plays folk-pop. The

Traditional flamenco Spanish singer. Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery

Creole Choir Of Cuba

Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0845 603 8576). £10.

Ave, EC1R 4TN (020 7863 8198/ cc 0844 412 4300). £10-£40.

The choir performs traditional songs from Haiti, Dominica and Cuba. Barbican Centre, Silk St,

Julian Joseph Trio, The Nikki Iles Trio Swinging mainstream

HMV Next Big Thing: The Airborne Toxic Event, Sissy And The Blisters, Morning Parade The American collective

EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £10-£20.

jazz from the pianist and colleagues. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St,

Flamenco Festival London 2011: Estrella Morente

W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £15-£32.50.

plays melodic rock with support from various indie upstarts.

Spanish superstar sings traditional flamenco and pop.

Lucky Dragons Luke

Heaven, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (0845 603 8576). £10.

Fischbeck and Sarah Rara lead their experimental music project. Cargo, Rivington St,

Sadler’s Wells, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4TN (020 7863 8198/ cc 0844 412 4300). £10-£40.

EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £8.

Metropolis High energy soul sixpiece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar,

The Go! Team The outfit plays

Mogwai Psychedelic rock from

Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm.

indie, pop and hip-hop. Heaven,

the Glasgow-based outfit. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £20.

NME Awards Shows 2011: White Lies Indie-rock from the Ealing-based three-piece. O2

Swedish electro-pop. Relentless

Sea Of Bees, Trevor Moss & Hannah-Lou, James Walbourne Californian

Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0845 603 8576/ cc 0844 847 1678). £10.

musician Julie Ann Bee leads her band in playing melancholy folk-rock. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £5.11.

Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (0905 020 3999/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.50.

Alan Price Soulful pop-rock from the former member of 60s psych-rcok legends The Animals.

Professor Green Hip-hop and rap artist from Hackney.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

Party frontman Kele Okereke performs solo electro and dance-rock. The Coronet, New

St, EC1V 9NG (020 7638 8891/ cc 0845 120 7591). £10-£22.50.

Factor winner performs pop and R‘n’B. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline

tntmagazine.com

The Blanks The known as Ted’s Band from Scrubs plays a capella. O2 Shepherd’s

Classic rock from the Londonbased singer-guitarist. Bull’s

Alexandra Burke The 2008 X

The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0870 060 0100). £15.32.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £12.50, adv £10.

Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0845 603 8576). £10.

Family Of The Year, Treetop

HMV Next Big Thing: Little Dragon, Yoav

The Birds, The Diddlers, The Dustaphonics Retro R‘n’B from the veteran band.

THURSDAY 10

Flyers The Californian band plays Americana, folk and indie. The Lexington, Pentonville

Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £14.

SATURDAY 12

alt rock combo. O2 Academy

Daniel Boys The Any Dream Will

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £9, adv £7.

rock from the New York-based four-piece. Hoxton Square Bar

The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). £12.

1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8.

acclaimed American pianist plays blues and swinginfluenced jazz. Ronnie Scott’s,

Hot Club Of Boisdale

Steve Tilston Folk singer and guitarist. Downstairs At

singer-songwriter and musician performs psychedelic punk.

The Three Degrees R‘n’B and pop from the Philadelphia-based vocal group. IndigO2, Peninsula

Cyrus Chestnut Trio, The Sam Crowe Trio The

David Ferrard, Louise Jordan Acoustic folk

32

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.

St Ethelburga’s, Bishopsgate, EC2N 4AG (020 7496 1610). £12.

glam metal and punk.

Eric Ranzoni Blues Band Piano-led blues outfit.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Periphery Progressive metal band from Bethesda, Maryland.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

Karine Polwart With Alasdair Roberts And Corrina Hewat Folk from the singer-songwriter.

Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £9.50-£29.50.

Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and soul from the seven-piece.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

David Thomas, Two Pale Boys The Miami-born singersongwriter and musician performs rock. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £12, adv £10.

SUNDAY 13 The Blues Band R‘n’B and roots music, with vocals

by Paul Jones and Dave Kelly. Blackheath Halls, Lee Rd, SE3 9RQ (020 8463 0100). £22.

Nile, Melechesh, Dew Scented, Zonaria, Darkrise

Emily Saunders Band

Classic death metal from the

With Byron Wallen The sixpiece plays contemporary jazz.

US-based band. O2 Academy Islington, N1 Centre, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (0844 477 2000). £20.

Bull’s Head, Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £10.

TNT online For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

Reggae Got Soul Valentine Showcase: Millie Jackson, Betty Wright, Marcia Griffith American R‘n’B and soul singer-songwriter renowned for her explicit spoken sections in her music.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £35 & £45.

CLUBBING

CLUB GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK ANNIE MAC PRESENTS Her Annie Mac Presents nights showcases names you should be paying attention to, and Tensnake is getting the AMP treatment this week. The Hamburg-based producer likes to play it disco and deep house and got dancefloors across the globe moving in 2010 with his too catchy track Coma Cat. It’s a live show from him, while Breakage, AKA James Boyle, plays the drum n bass card.

33

» Koko, 1A Camden High St NW1 7JE

Mornington Crescent (0870 432 5527, koko.uk.com). Sat, Feb 12, 9.30pm. £15 adv Annie Mac will make you... beats/breaks

drum ’n’ bass

electro

hip-hop

TORTURE GARDEN VALENTINE’S BALL

FRANTIC PRESENTS TIMELESS 9

Dig out your PVC and nipple tassels for a twisted Valentine’s filled with fetish. Torture Garden is a diverse mix of extreme performance, body art and R-rated naughtiness mixed with electro and minimal tech beats. Fetish dress code is enforced. This one’s not for the faint hearted.

Who needs the gym when there’s hard house clubbing?

Frantic’s Timeless is all about classic tunes and anthems.

With more than 45 DJs playing over three arenas, bounce around to some of the genre’s finest DJs including Andy Farley, Phil Reynolds and Cally Gage.

» Debut (formerly SEOne),

» Hidden, 100 Tinworth St,

Weston St, SE1 London Bridge (torturegarden.com).

Sat, Feb 12, 9pm-6am. £35 adv

SE11 Vauxhall (hiddenclub. co.uk) Sat, Feb 12, 9pm-8am. £12 adv

WIN TNT Images

funk/soul

TNT has five copies of Azuli’s Global Guide 11 to give away to lucky readers this week. To be in with a chance of winning, email grabs@tntmagazine.com with ‘Azuli Global’ in the subject line by Wed 9, Feb.

hard house/trance

house/garage

rock/metal

techno

CLUB NEWS Matter nightclub is set to relaunch with a £1 million refurbishment. It will open its doors as Proud2 in March and is promising to bring “Las Vegas-style clubbing” to London. Catch the Greenwich-based club before it changes forever with the Kinky Malinki Valentine’s Party on Saturday, Feb 12 with AFTC, Mastiksoul and Prok & Fitch.

Dutch DJ Ricky Rivaro has been appointed as A&R man at Azuli as the house label undergoes an overhaul. The brand will welcome a new look, new international club events and new album projects. Rivaro called the role

Ricky Rivaro

a “great honour”, adding: “Sifting through the world’s best house records to find the future dance floor hits is a big responsibility.” Meanwhile, he’s mixed Azuli’s latest Global Series album. Global Guide 11 features tracks from The Shapeshifters, Chris Lake and Wally Lopez. Out now.

tntmagazine.com

WORLD VIEW strange tales from around the globe Australia

£150K FOR A ‘TWANG’ An Australian health and safety worker has been awarded £150,000 in compensation after hurting her back lifting ... paper.

Kathryn Jane Dank, 54, “felt a twang” when she bent at an angle to pick up a 12kg box containing five reams.

Despite admitting “common sense” should have made her move closer to the box before trying to lift it, the personal injury hearing found in her favour.

Judge Clive Wall this week ordered Jupiters Casino on the Gold Coast to pay Dank $239,613, plus costs, to cover medical expenses and the loss of past and future income.

Ironically, Dank was secretary to the casino’s health and safety committee when the incident took place in 2004.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK follow @tntmagazine @benc0_ (Benco): So, um, I just fucking realised how huge Cyclone Yasi was when I saw that the eye of the storm is the size of a US state @katiemaryrich Katie Rich: The White Stripes announced they have broken up. When asked for comment, the year 2003 said it was devastated @theUSpresident Barack Obama: #ifyouonlyknew the government runs Facebook

South Africa

The fish-on-flesh question has raged in South African media following reports of the practice at parties of wealthy businessmen and socialites.

This week, Johannesburg newspapers reported the head of the ANC’s powerful youth league had attended such a party over the weekend.

However, Mantashe says the ANC is not into nightclubs or partying.

Good to know.

SUSHI OFF THE MENU Eating sushi off the body of a bikini-clad model is politically incorrect, according to South Africa’s governing party.

A statement from African National Congress secretary general Gwede Mantashe says the act is anti-ANC, anti-revolutionary, defamatory, insensitive and undermines the woman’s integrity.

tntmagazine.com

Australia

WOULD A FLOWER SMELL SO SWEET? A giant flower which smells of rotting flesh has bloomed in Cairns. Standing around

three metres high, the titan arum, pictured left, is one of the world’s tallest plants and it’s usually native to Indonesia. However, really lucky residents in north Queensland can now go and smell the flower for themselves at the Cairns Botanic Gardens.

Curator David Warmington revealed the attraction of the flower: “This plant emits this famous odour when it’s mature and it smells like a dead animal.

“People call it a dead alligator or crocodile or lizard, it is a really, really strong stench which is designed to attract all of those insects.”

Maybe not such a good one for Valentine’s Day, then.

Luke Marsden/Newspix/Rex Features, Getty Images

Someone call the PC brigade

Batty weather: It’s not just the humans made homeless by the horrendous conditions in Australia. Some 130 bats have been orphaned on the Gold Coast over recent weeks. Even though they’re rat-like, they still look cute.

WEEK IN NUMBERS

Brazil

It is a nation known for its jubilant spirit and its ability to party all night long, but politicians in Brazil still think a constitutional amendment is required to help ensure citizens have a happy life.

The amendment would insert the phrase “pursuit of happiness” into Article 6 of the constitution, which currently states that education, health, food, work, housing, leisure and security are the social rights of The clearly unhappy people of Brazil all citizens.

The country’s appropriately named Happier Maori woman at Auckland’s Middlemore Hospital.

Movement said the amendment aims to help “To my knowledge, it’s the first time someone give citizens the right to hold the government to has been hospitalised by a hickey.” account to ensure it provides basic, vital services to everyone.

United States

BIEBER ON FBI RADAR FBI director Robert Mueller has revealed just one of the many things about today’s society that troubles him – Justin Bieber’s hair.

Mueller was speaking about the challenges the FBI faces due to new technology when he revealed that YouTube now loads 35 hours of new video a minute.

æ Don’t be a sucker...

New Zealand

LOVE (BITES) HURTS A woman was left partially paralysed after her husband gave her a love bite on her neck.

The 44-year-old was driven to hospital in Auckland, New Zealand, after experiencing loss of movement in her left arm.

Baffled doctors could not find any obvious cause of stroke – but traced the condition to a fading bruise from a love bite.

The hickey a caused damage to a major artery, causing a blood clot to form and travel to the woman’s heart.

“Because it was a love bite, there would be a lot of suction,” said Dr Teddy Wu, who treated the

Getty Images

*And finally …

Russia’s sultry spy Anna Chapman has trademarked her name so she can start producing her own brand of vodka and perfume. Booted out of the

P24 - The week’s film releases P66 - 24 hours in Madrid

æ

“Most of them ... feature someone by the name of Justin Bieber. At my age, I have to wonder: Who the heck is this kid, and why can’t he get a haircut?” he told the New York Post.

United Kingdom

INMATES GET FRUITY Teenage inmates in detention centres are trading in fruit because it’s in such high demand.

The food served in the UK’s Young Offenders Institutes is of such poor quality that prisoners are being bullied into buying them for older inmates, The Howard League for Penal Reform said.

Weekly menus from nine facilities were also examined, and it was concluded that the prisons were not spending enough on food for inmates, making their behaviour worse.

Trademarked, not stirred US along with nine other spies in July, Chapman has since turned into an A-list Russian celebrity with a TV show and regular appearances on magazine covers.

140,000

Calories in a single 20kg burger assembled by hosts of YouTube channel Epic Meal Time, who set out to make the world’s fattiest, unhealthiest meals.

103

Rooms in one of the ‘bird mansions’ built by Canadian man John Looser.

Some of his creations sell for $15,000.

Impressive. But still weird.

29

People hospitalised after eating salmonella-infected custard products in South Australia. Fortunately, none of those people was seriously affected.

4

Months English casanova Daryl Tricker phoned Lauren Prior every day after she didn’t show for their first date, unaware she was in a coma. When she woke up, they hooked up.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Lazy, feckless, “flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus Top Gear host Richard Hammond on Mexicans

”

NEWS & SPORT

COME ON, GET HAPPY!

35

NEWS & SPORT

Egyptian protesters took to the streets demanding regime change

36

STREETS OF FIRE

DAYS OF RAGE What will be left once the dust settles on the Egyptian revolution? WORDS TOM STURROCK

O

tntmagazine.com

“It would be the most significant revolutionary movement in the Arab Middle East, the first popular revolution.”

THE PAST Hosni Mubarak assumed the Egyptian presidency in October 1981, following the assassination of Anwar Sadat. For nearly 30 years, Mubarak has enjoyed the support of US governments, grateful for his bulwark against political Islam and his commitment to co-existence with Israel.

“The US has been propping him up as it sees Egypt as the lynchpin of the Middle East – it’s strategically the most important and the most populous Arab country and it has a huge stake in its peace with Israel,” Khalili explains.

Mubarak, evidently, was less-loved by

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Demons trations continued for a second week

ver the past fortnight, scenes of civil unrest in the streets of Egypt have received blanket coverage, as the watching world weighs the implications of nascent revolution.

The story has, day-by-day, developed and taken on different dimensions, but the gravity of the Egyptian uprising is rooted in the country’s past and tied inseparably to what it means for its future.

According to Laleh Khalili, senior lecturer in Middle East politics at the University of London, the significance of a popular movement, rather than a military coup d’etat, effecting regime change cannot be overstated.

“The importance of this will be if they see it through without the military becoming involved,” Khalili says.

TRAVEL UPDATE

Mohammed ElBaradei has emerged as a possible successor to President Mubarak (inset)

his own people; indeed, he has survived six assassination attempts.

Favoured by the West, Mubarak is rarely listed among the world’s most malign dictators, but Khalili insists the difference is cosmetic.

“It’s a classic autocratic regime,” she says. “A state of emergency has been in place for 30 years, which has allowed the government to do whatever they wanted.

“It was pretty damn repressive. Police stations were used as torture chambers – it was a place where the US rendered its most unwanted people to be tortured.”

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THE PRESENT Popular revolution can boil over in a way that appears spontaneous but is in fact rooted in deeply held, unaddressed grievances. In Egypt, these grievances appear related to the concentration of wealth in the hands of Mubarak’s chronies, insulating them against the austerity taking its toll on the man in the street. Then, Tunisians rose up, overthrowing their government earlier this year, and the tinderbox was lit.

“The Tunisian uprising was another spark – it showed change could be effected by a popular uprising,” Khalili says. “This is a struggle for self-determination that has never been allowed.”

Whether events in Egypt create a ripple effect in the region remains uncertain; the Egyptian uprising was not predicted, the next may be equally unforeseen.

“There’s been a lot of talk about that but I’m not certain there will be that kind of chain reaction,” Khalili says.

“If there is, then it will be in places people don’t necessarily expect, like Bahrain, where there are demonstrations scheduled. But it’s impossible to predict, circumstances are changing so quickly.”

THE FUTURE The bell has seemingly tolled for Mubarak’s regime, evidenced by hardening US rhetoric, its calls for restraint replaced by calls for change.

As the end-game nears, the main question revolves around the kind

NEWS & SPORT

The Foreign Office is currently advising against travel to Cairo, Alexandria, Luxor and Suez but Red Sea resorts, including Sharm El Sheikh, are open.

Most tour operators are offering travellers with impending holidays to Egypt the chance to change dates or switch destination, without forking out for the usual admin fee.

37

The Tunisian “ uprising was another spark

”

of regime that will succeed Mubarak’s.

Will a democratic coalition emerge from the tumult or, in the nightmare scenario for the West, will the vacuum be filled by Islamist forces, as it was in Iran in 1979?

“It’s not the same as Iran,” Khalili insists, “the Islamists, the Muslim Brotherhood, has in fact taken a back seat and has kept a fairly low profile.

“I think people have learned from what happened in Iran – a lot of that talk is just people being afraid of the unknown.”

More likely, according to Khalili, the will of the US holds sway – the interests that sustained Mubarak for 30 years may yet anoint his replacement.

“In the longer term, it will be determined by what the US chooses to do, whether they ensure the people who take over are those most amenable to US interests, which are support for Israel no matter what and a fear of Islamists.”

ON THE SCENE An Australian student holidaying in Egypt has told of being caught in the crossfire as police clashed with protesters.

Melburnian Sam Hirschfelder, 23, was eventually evacuated on a flight chartered by the Australian government.

“It was chaos, it was mayhem,” Hirschfelder explained.

“I was staying close to Tahrir Square, which is where all the action was, getting shot at by police. I saw a lot of police brutality, police beating up protesters. I saw really intense fighting.

“We tried for about an hour getting back to our hotel, we tried going down a street that led to our hotel. It was dark and obviously the police mistook us for protesters so we were shot at.

“You could hear the bullets hitting the cars around us so we got out of there pretty fast.

“I actually find it really really moving to be there at that time ... I went (to Egypt) to see tombs and pyramids and historical sites and I saw a revolution.”

The protests have been met with a violent crackdown

tntmagazine.com

ANZAC DAY HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT? BEING AN AUSSIE I have always had a deep understanding, interest and respect for the ANZAC legend. Ever since I first attended a Dawn Service back in Australia while researching a university project I decided I must one day attend the Dawn Service at Gallipoli. Years later I now live in London and work in the travel industry which has allowed me the incredible good fortune of attending the Dawn Service at Gallipoli several times over the last few years.

It is one of those things that truly must be experienced firsthand to really get an understanding of how hard those Diggers had it and how no matter what sporting events or rivalry do crop up between ourselves and our Antipodean brothers, New Zealand, we have a bond that was forged through blood, mate ship and terrible circumstances allowing us to rise up and finally feel a sense of individuality or independence from the Motherland – Britain.

We do not commemorate ANZAC Day only due to the loss of life suffered by both New Zealand and Australia, as there were many other conflicts during World War I where the loss was far greater, we commemorate it due to it being that moment where we both truly found our National spirit. That is why we shiver in the cold on that early morning of the 25th of April. For those that gave so much then and helped create the country’s we now hold so dear, and for all the conflicts since where we have fought under the command and the flag of our own Nations, yet together still as ANZACs. If you are planning to travel to Turkey for the Dawn Service in Gallipoli, then you need to be fully prepared for the build up to the 5am service. The weather can get extremely cold in the early morning hours and the crowds will continue to arrive all throughout the night. If you are one of the lucky people to grab a spot on the grass you may be able to get a few winks but don’t count on it. This experience is more or less a pilgrimage, it is uncomfortable at times and emotional but absolutely well worth the effort. As long as you are well prepared with a sleeping bag, warm clothing and a good attitude you will be fine and one thing you will know for sure is that you are far better off than our Diggers were.

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OZ VIEW Cyclone Yasi NEWS & SPORT

Destruction: torn buildings and a collapsed street light in Tully after Cyclone Yasi took its toll

39

WHIRLWIND OF DESTRUCTION It was a night of terror, but the damage could have been much worse WORDS CAROL DRIVER

W

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ith 280km/h winds and twostorey high waves, Cyclone Yasi battered north-east Australia last week, as residents took shelter and prepared for the worst.

Thousands of people have been left homeless as their properties were destroyed, and one man died as a result of the ferocious weather, but the death toll was expected to be much higher.

A 50-kilometre stretch of coast between the towns of Cardwell and Tully bore the brunt of the storm, with the clean-up operation expected to cost millions.

WIDESPRED DEVASTATION Large trees were ripped from their roots and homes were obliterated as Yasi tore through Queensland, leaving widespread devastation in its wake on Wednesday night. Thousands boarded up their homes and took shelter in evacuation centres, bracing themselves for a night of terror.

Tully resident Barbara Kendall said: “It

was terrifying, but we were safe. It’s a terrifying sound. All I could hear was the screeching of the wind.”

EMOTIONAL COST

By Thursday, the category five cyclone had been downgraded to a tropical storm, and residents began to count the emotional and financial cost of the destruction.

But as some got under way with the extensive clean-up operation, there were reports of looters raiding deserted stores.

Prime minister Julia Gillard has pledged to visit all the towns affected by the cyclone, which hit just after the nation’s worst flooding in decades, which caused an estimated £3.5 billion damage.

The cyclone has prompted the biggest domestic deployment of defence force personnel in 30 years. Some 4000 troops in Townsville will help with the clean-up operation. “In the Brisbane flooding recovery, when people were battling with

Seeking safety in evacuation centres

filth and mud, we had 1500 soldiers doing that work and that was the biggest deployment for a natural disaster since Cyclone Tracy,” Gillard said.

REBUILD THE NORTH Gillard also said the cost of the disaster would inevitably lead to budget cuts that Australians would not like.

“But we will do that to make sure we have the resources available to rebuild in north and far north Queensland,” she said.

Yasi’s first known victim was a 23-yearold man, sheltering in the disaster zone, who was asphyxiated by generator fumes. » Make a donation to the flood appeal, via qld.gov.au/floods/donate.html

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

Carol Driver carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

ow long does it take you to get to work?

Thirty minutes?

An hour? If you commute for longer than that every day, would you expect your employer to fork out for a second home for you?

Yes, of course, it would be nice.

Who wouldn’t want a little London pied-à-terre so that you could be home in time for Come Dine With Me every night?

But, realistically, it’s not going to happen. So why is this something our MPs just can’t seem to get their heads around?

Not content with the furore which erupted when the salacious details of their expenses came to light (thanks to the persistence of a journalist), our members of parliament have again been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

This week it’s been revealed claims worth thousands have recently been rejected because they don’t meet the criteria. One MP even bothered to claim 50p for a pint of milk. Why?!

On top of this it seems the body policing the system may be considering broadening the criteria allowing MPs allowances for second homes. This could mean

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H

Under attack: the Top Gear team

those living in London would again be entitled thousands of pounds.

Currently MPs may have to sleep overnight in their office, fork out for a hotel (perish the thought), or, shockingly, travel home by train which is “dangerous”.

Well, MPs, if you’re worried about that, don’t do the job.

It’s obvious that some MPs just can’t play by the rules – so why not scrap second homes for all?

Instead, parliament should buy up an apartment block (furnished

by Ikea) where MPs can stay during their service to the public, which they then leave when they’re not re-elected.

There are plenty in East London that would do the job ...

GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR, AY! I thought it was a joke when I heard a Mexican is taking legal action against the BBC show Top Gear. But not so.

Learn “how to take a joke ” Richard Hammond, James May and Jeremy Clarkson (who are, of course, heroes) have caused outrage by branding Mexicans “lazy, feckless and flatulent” on Sunday’s show. Perhaps “no

sense of humour” should have been added to that as Iris de la Torre, who lives in London, took offence and is now making a claim which could cost the Beeb £1m in damages.

Coming from Essex, I know all about stereotypes – I’ve grown up with the relentless storm of insults (most of which aren’t true, honest).

So, some words of advice to all the Mrs de la Torres of the world: learn how to take a joke. Life’s too short.

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P45 TNT on Ian Thorpe P10 Valentine’s tips

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NEWS & SPORT

If MPs can’t play by rules, axe expenses

41

SPORT VIEW bite-sized action and analysis Swimming

THORPE TARGETS 2012 Five-time Olympic gold medallist Ian Thorpe last week announced his comeback to competitive swimming, having retired in 2006.

Thorpe, 28, aims to secure a spot in Australia’s relay teams at the London Olympics in 2012 and admitted a visit to the 17,500-capacity venue had whetted his appetite for a third Olympics.

“It was an extraordinary venue, and I could actually taste it – I haven’t felt like swimming like that for a very long time,” Thorpe said during his press conference in Sydney.

“I never thought this would happen. But never say never.”

Thorpe’s last remaining world record, in the 400m freestyle, was broken in 2009 by Germany’s Paul Biedermann, although he had the aid of a now-illegal polyurethane bodysuit.

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P45 - TNT on Ian Thorpe P34 - Quirky world news

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Motorsport

WEBBER FIRED UP Australian Formula One driver Mark Webber has moved on from the disappointing end to last season and says he is ready for another championship battle with teammate Sebastian Vettel when the new season begins next month.

“Obviously, last year there were some tough times for the team because we both, or all of us, wanted to keep achieving more, and it was a new situation to go for the championship with two drivers in the same team,” Webber said.

“It doesn’t happen very often in Formula One. So let’s hope we can do it again, and maybe this year we have a different result, I hope.”

BIG WEEK FOR .........

Rugby league

BULLDOG ARRESTED Canterbury Bulldogs prop Ryan Tandy could face up to five years in jail if found guilty of providing false evidence to a law enforcement agency.

Tandy has been charged by detectives from the NSW Crime Command’s Racing and Casino Investigation Unit, following a probe into suspicious betting activity.

Firearms and Organised Crime Squad commander detective superintendent Arthur Katsogiannis said police were treating the investigation seriously.

“It’s not a game – this is real life and police will continue with their investigations in an endeavour to uncover the truth and ensure justice is done,” he said. “Detectives will continue to use every available resource to uncover the truth and complete their investigation.”

The Milwaukee Bucks centre leads the NBA in blocked shots and is fifth in rebounds and was considered a chance to nab a bench spot when the reserves were announced on Friday. But for the second straight year, Bogut missed out to Atlanta forward/centre Al Horford as the back-up to Orlando superstar Dwight Howard.

A philosophical Bogut wasn’t surprised to miss out, believing it was also harder to attract attention playing in Milwaukee.

“It’s just the way it is,” Bogut said. “We’ve got to play really well as a team to have an All-Star.

“And it’s magnified playing in a small market.”

Basketball

BOGUT BOUNCED

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■ Andy Murray (pictured) is back on his horse after losing the final of the Australian Open and will be hoping for a good showing when he lines up in Rotterdam. Much was made of the Scot’s straightsets loss to Novak Djokovic, with Murray’s nerve questioned.

Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are absent but Murray could again meet Djokovic in the final.

Looks like fun: Hang Zhou of China during the FIS Freestyle World Ski Championships at Deer Valley Resort in Utah, US. Wonder if there is a Chinese translation for ‘sweet air’...

Andrew Bogut has again fallen short in his bid to become Australia’s first NBA All-Star.

Andrew Bogut

tntmagazine.com

Redemption beckons for Wayne Rooney

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

to play in one of the top-level clubs

”

Fernando Torres after leaving Liverpool for Chelsea. Pretty obnoxious, really.

It was on my bucket list ... along with playing James Bond, starting a rock band, being a pilot – this seemed more realistic

“

Preview … Rooney ready for bumper derby MANCHESTER UNITED V MANCHESTER CITY Sunday 1pm TV: Sky Sports 1

The last time these sides met, on November 10 last year, United striker Wayne Rooney was sidelined with injury and, more importantly, still consigned to the Old Trafford dog-house for demanding a move to City, only to change his mind after securing a massive pay rise.

Back then, Chelsea were top of the table, their subsequent slump unimaginable; United, although unbeaten, had been unconvincing, having spent a good deal of time in unfamiliar third place.

How things have changed. Chelsea imploded either side of Christmas and United have since forged ahead at the top of the league. And, as though sensing the shift in momentum, Rooney,

out of sorts for so much of the season, appears to be running into some decent form just in time for the Manchester derby.

How sweet it would be for United fans if Rooney produces a star turn against the cross-city rivals that tried to poach him and, in doing so, edges United ever closer to a record 19th league title – their fourth in five seasons. Some United fans are yet to forgive Rooney’s act of treachery in requesting a transfer but a decisive goal against City this weekend would surely go some way towards securing his redemption.

For City, there is no bigger match than the derby and, despite their rise up the pecking order in recent times, have not beaten United in the Premier League since February 2008. The City hierarchy insist they are contenders, that they are now a ‘big club’. Here’s their chance to prove it.

”

Ian Thorpe after announcing his intention to compete in London in 2012.

In 12 months time he could be the second Ali. He could be anything

“

”

Aussie boxing great Tony Mundine on Sonny Bill Williams (below). Ease up.

Getty Images

The Chat … Abramovich splashing the cash What’s the story?

With Chelsea slipping off the place and their top-four spot in peril, owner Roman Abramovich implemented the only solution he knows, buying Fernando Torres for £50m and David Luiz for £21m.

Is there more to come?

Abramovich spent more than £200m on players in his first two years at Chelsea and may be gearing up for

another splurge in the summer.

New limits on financial excess come into effect in 2012, so Abramovich must move quickly to add new blood to an ageing squad. Chelsea could target Brazilian striker Neymar and Serbian centreback Neven Subotic, both of whom will cost at least £20m.

TV HIGHLIGHTS RUGBY UNION Ireland v France, Sun 3pm, BBC2 Crucial Six Nations hit-out

FOOTBALL Roma v Napoli, Sat 7.45pm, ESPN Two of Serie A’s top-four teams go head-to-head

RUGBY LEAGUE Wigan v St Helens, Sat 7pm, Sky Sports 1 Rematch of last year’s Super League decider

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NEWS & SPORT

The target for “every footballer is

43

WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

A 10-DAY EUROPEAN ADVENTURE FOR TWO THANKS TO CONTIKI To celebrate the launch of Contiki’s ‘Summer of Your Life’ Early Bird sale, TNT and Contiki Holidays have teamed up to give one reader the chance to win a 10-day European Horizon tour for two people.

The 10-day European Horizon is one of Contiki’s unique Concept style tours and as such the winner will get to wake up in some of Contiki’s legendary special stopover accommodation including a Swiss Chalet at the base of the Lauterbrunnen Valley and a genuine Austrian Gasthof (guest house) high up in the Tyrolean hills.

The winner will also get to experience a stack of ‘Only Contiki’ special inclusions such as a private boat ride through Venice’s canals and islands, a traditional Swiss Fondue and a special night time tour of Paris with champagne and escargot.

The trip takes in seven countries, four UNESCO heritage sites and also includes the services of Contiki’s professional and experienced Tour Manager & Driver team.

The tour departs from London.

Enter at tntmagazine.com/ competitions

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

Even in a supporting role, Ian Thorpe will command top billing

Tom Sturrock tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

mong much erroneous fanfare and corporate preening, Ian Thorpe, Australia’s most successful Olympian, last week came out of retirement and announced his intention to compete in London in 2012.

At his peak, Thorpe was one of Australia’s most accomplished, world-renowned sportsmen and his decision to return to swimming was always going to be a big story.

That said, it is one destined to end, inexorably, deflatingly, in anticlimax.

Let’s get it out of the way – there is zero chance Thorpe will be the swimmer he was between 2000 and 2004. The fairytale of the returning champion reclaiming his Olympic titles is sheer fantasy; those hoping for that kind of rousing, third-act grand finale will be left wanting. Thorpe has acknowledged as much by focusing on the relays.

And if that’s all it amounts to – Thorpe taking one of four relay spots – is it really such a big deal?

Isn’t it a bit like Shane Warne coming out of retirement, only to be made 12th man?

Of course, if Thorpe wants to compete and his times are fast

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A

enough, good luck to him. He is in the same boat as everyone else in that regard and it would be churlish to argue that he should stay retired simply because he is no longer odds-on to win a swag of medals.

The dissonance stems more from the fact that, in a mediocre men’s team, Thorpe’s is one of precious few recognisable faces. As such, his preparations will be covered obsessively, as though he is still the world-beater of Sydney and Athens.

Even in a supporting role, Thorpe will command top billing. And when it’s all run and won – not by Australia – everyone will be left wondering why they got so jacked up about such a non-event.

LESSONS GALORE IN ODI SUCCESS Australia’s win in the ODI series against England means they will take winning form into the World Cup, which begins on February 19.

Australia “remain strong in ODIs ” Although the knock-out structure of the tournament means any one of five or six sides could win, Australia remain strong in 50-over cricket

because of the depth incubated by giving more players a chance at international level.

By contrast, their Test stocks are depleted after too few upand-comers were blooded.

If Australia’s slide in Test cricket is to be arrested, the example of the ODI team should be heeded. The selectors must be more adventurous and give more promising fringe players a chance – an approach that needs to be embraced for the Test series against Sri Lanka in August.

æ

P60 UK running tours P72 Explore Brazil

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NEWS & SPORT

Returning Thorpe sets course for anticlimax

45

DOG DAYS are

OVER

After enduring intense public humiliation, Joel Monaghan has dusted himself down and is starting anew in Super League WORDS TOM STURROCK

L

Joel Monaghan spent 10 season s in the NRL

tntmagazine.com

ast November, Australian rugby league player Joel Monaghan found himself at the centre of a peculiarly 21stcentury scandal. After he and his Canberra Raiders teammates had been out for end-of-season, Mad Monday drinks, Monaghan was photographed with a teammate’s dog licking his genitals.

The photo found its way into social media and quickly blew up into a major news story that attracted global attention.

Monaghan resigned from the Raiders in disgrace, having endured the full glare of an Australian media and public, for whom sitting in judgement of sports stars is one of life’s abiding joys.

Monaghan has since signed with English Super League club Warrington and, with the season set to kick off this weekend, knows to expect a hostile welcome.

“I’ll get my share of stick from opposition players and fans,” he says.

“But I’m big enough to cop that.”

NEWS & SPORT

That photo...

A FRESH START Monaghan, 28, joins his older brother, Michael, at Warrington, and with former NRL players Matt King and Brett Hodgson also there, there’s a sizeable Australian contingent up in Cheshire.

“There are a lot of guys over here with a taste of NRL experience and Aussie rep experience,” Monaghan says.

“And from what I’ve seen so far, the standard’s not too different. I’m really happy to be involved with this team and I just want to go out there and repay the faith they’ve shown in me.”

Bob Brough 2011, Getty Images

I learned from “ it and I’m more mature now ” Monaghan can be forgiven for being keen to wipe the slate clean and is understandably grateful for the chance afforded him by Warrington to do so.

“I had done a bit of training with them before I signed as well so it was probably a bit easier than coming into a new team,” he says. “And with everything that was going in on Australia, it was good to get over here and make a fresh start.”

EYE OF THE STORM In a notoriously quiet time of year in Australian sport, Monaghan became the only story. The criticism was predictably unsympathetic; if it was still common

47

Monaghan wants a fresh start with Warrington

practice, no doubt Monaghan would have been clapped in stocks and pelted with rotten fruit in the public square.

“Some of it was harsh – it was welldocumented,” Monaghan says. “But the reporters were just doing their jobs so I’ve got no hard feelings toward anyone.”

Rugby league has suffered its share of player indiscretions in recent years, and Monaghan’s error was quickly patched into the broader discussion of whether the code has cultural problems, especially when alcohol is involved.

“Some people have made mistakes but there are also a lot of great people who have had no problems with it, so it’s not fair to lump them in with that as well,” Monaghan says.

have reasonably been expected.

Monaghan made a mistake – one that had seismic implications for his reputation and career – but his response to that adversity reveals the character that won him such esteem in the first place.

“It was tough – it was hard to see my family go through it for a stupid mistake I made,” he says. “I learned from it and I’m more mature now. I appreciate more what we do for a job because that was nearly taken away from me.

“I’m keen to start a new career in Super League and really give it a good shake.”

MOVING ON As the NRL licked it wounds following Monaghan’s sacking, embarrassment was tinged with surprise – Monaghan had always been a solid citizen; he was not one of the ratbags from whom such a heinous misjudgement might

BIG WILLIE’S READY TO RUMBLE Joel Monaghan might have committed the more recent, more visible indiscretion, but doesn’t boast a rap sheet nearly as long as Willie Mason, who has joined Hull KR. The former Bulldogs, Roosters and Cowboys forward has been boozing, brawling, swearing and peeing in public for years; either Hull KR will be hoping

that, at 30, Mason has mellowed or they have some effective minders.

The highlight of Mason’s dodgy past came in 2007, when, while on Origin camp, Mason and a handful of teammates went on an all-night drinking binge and were revealed to have ended up in a Sydney brothel in the wee hours of the morning.

Dodgy past: Willie Mason

RETURNING HOME 48

ƵƐƚŽŵĞƌ ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞ ZŽůĞƐ | ĞŶƚƌĂů >ŽŶĚŽŶ | άϭϳͲ άϮϰ< ƉĂ н ĞdžĐŝƟŶŐ ďĞŶĞĮƚƐ tŝƚŚ ƉĂĐŬĂŐĞƐ ƚŽ ƐƵŝƚ ĞǀĞƌLJŽŶĞ͛Ɛ ŶĞĞĚƐ ĂŶĚ ƐƚĂī ǁŚŽ ĂƌĞ ŚĂƉƉLJ ƚŽ ŐŽ ƚŚĞ ĞdžƚƌĂ ŵŝůĞ͕ dƌĂĨĂůŐĂƌ ŝƐ ƚŚĞ ǁŽƌůĚ͛Ɛ ĨĂǀŽƵƌŝƚĞ ƚŽƵƌ ƉƌŽǀŝĚĞƌ͘ We are proud to provide an unprecedented level of customer service to our guests, ensuring their arrival and departure is fun and trouble ĨƌĞĞ͘ KƵƌ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞƐ ƌĂŶŐĞ ĨƌŽŵ ͚DĞĞƚ ĂŶĚ 'ƌĞĞƚ͛ Ăƚ ,ĞĂƚŚƌŽǁ ŝƌƉŽƌƚ͕ ƚƌĂŶƐĨĞƌƐ ƚŽ ŐƵĞƐƚƐ͛ ĐŚŽƐĞŶ ŚŽƚĞůƐ͕ ůŽĐĂů ,ŽƚĞů ,ŽƐƚ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞƐ͕ ĂŶĚ ŽƵƌ ƵŶŝƋƵĞ >ŽŶĚŽŶ ZĞĐĞƉƟŽŶ ĞŶƚƌĞ͘

,ŽƐƚ, you’ll need great interpersonal skills and understand the ŝŵƉŽƌƚĂŶĐĞ ŽĨ ďĞŝŶŐ Ă ƚĞĂŵ ƉůĂLJĞƌ͘ dŚĞƐĞ ĂƌĞ ƐĞĂƐŽŶĂů ƌŽůĞƐ ĨƌŽŵ DĂƌĐŚ ƚŽ KĐƚŽďĞƌ͕ ǁŝƚŚ ƚŚĞ ŽƉƉŽƌƚƵŶŝƚLJ ĨŽƌ ĞdžĐĞƉƟŽŶĂů ŝŶĚŝǀŝĚƵĂůƐ ƚŽ ƐƚĂLJ ŽŶͲďŽĂƌĚ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ǁŝŶƚĞƌ ƐĞĂƐŽŶ͘

ZŝŐŚƚ ŶŽǁ ǁĞ͛ƌĞ ůŽŽŬŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ŵŽƌĞ ŵŽƟǀĂƚĞĚ ĂŶĚ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞĚ ĐƵƐƚŽŵĞƌ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ ƉĞƌƐŽŶŶĞů ƚŽ ũŽŝŶ ŽƵƌ >ŽŶĚŽŶ ƚĞĂŵƐ͘

tĞ ĂůƐŽ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ŶƵŵďĞƌ ŽĨ ƉĞƌŵĂŶĞŶƚ ƌŽůĞƐ ĨŽƌ ƉƌŽĨĞƐƐŝŽŶĂůƐ ǁŝƚŚ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞ ŽĨ ŵĂŶĂŐŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ƐƵƉĞƌǀŝƐŝŶŐ ƚĞĂŵƐ͘ KŶĞ ƚŽ ĚĞůŝǀĞƌ ǁŽƌůĚͲĐůĂƐƐ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ ĂƐ ,ŽƚĞů ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞƐ ƵƚLJ DĂŶĂŐĞƌ͘ ƐĞĐŽŶĚ ƚŽ ŬĞĞƉ ŽƵƌ ƌĞĐĞƉƟŽŶ ĐĞŶƚƌĞ ƌƵŶŶŝŶŐ ƐŵŽŽƚŚůLJ ĂƐ ZĞĐĞƉƟŽŶ ĞŶƚƌĞ ƵƚLJ DĂŶĂŐĞƌ͘ ŶĚ ĮŶĂůůLJ͕ ŽŶĞ ƚŽ ůĞĂĚ ƚŚĞ ǁŚŽůĞ ƚĞĂŵ ĂƐ ŽƵƌ ƵƐƚŽŵĞƌ ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞ DĂŶĂŐĞƌ͘

ůů ŽƵƌ ƐƚĂī ĂƌĞ ĐŽŵŵŝƩĞĚ ƚŽ ƉƌŽǀŝĚŝŶŐ ŽƵƚƐƚĂŶĚŝŶŐ ĐƵƐƚŽŵĞƌ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ͘ ^Ž͕ ǁŚĞƚŚĞƌ LJŽƵ͛ƌĞ ŐĞƫŶŐ ƚŽƵƌƐ Žī ƚŽ Ă ƐŵŽŽƚŚ ƐƚĂƌƚ ĂƐ Ă ZĞĐĞƉƟŽŶ ĞŶƚƌĞ ,ŽƐƚ͕ Žƌ ƐŚĂƌŝŶŐ LJŽƵƌ ŬŶŽǁůĞĚŐĞ ŽĨ >ŽŶĚŽŶ ĂƐ Ă ,ŽƚĞů ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞƐ

So, if you genuinely care about delivering great customer service ĂŶĚ ĂƌĞ ŚĂƉƉLJ ǁŽƌŬŝŶŐ ƐŚŝŌƐ͕ ƐĞŶĚ LJŽƵƌ s ĂŶĚ ĐŽǀĞƌŝŶŐ ůĞƩĞƌ ƚŽ ZĞĐƌƵŝƚŵĞŶƚ͘>Z Λ ŽŽŬƩĐƵŬ͘ĐŽŵ

DĂŬĞ ƐƵƌĞ ƚŚĞLJ ŚĂǀĞ Ă ƌŽĂƌŝŶŐ ƟŵĞ

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? COME HOME! You’ve done the Pubs, Underground and Buckingham Palace to DEATH! Why not come home?

After all, summer is in the air! A fantastic opportunity awaits an energetic person who has been involved in promotions, events, marketing or sales. Maybe you have been amongst the Top 5 waitrons with the highest turnover, or maybe you have had your own little money spinning business on the side?

Or what job(s) did you have to do that truly stretched you as a person? Our company has been established for 36 years, and is the envy of the industry. We will develop you to become a top class business professional.

E-mail joan.hefer@dppg.co.za. D•A•V Professional Placement Group. tntmagazine.com

CAREERS

Your monthly guide to moving to Australia and New Zealand

RETURNING HOME

RETURNING HOME

49

ON THE JOB GENEVIEVE MADDOX Career Live-in personal assistant Age 24 Lives Hammersmith From Melbourne, Australia How did you get into your line of work?

One of my good friends was working for Origin Care and recommended I apply online.

What do you do day-to-day?

As I am a personal assistant for a spinal injury patient, I help my client meet individual, social and everyday needs such as getting in and out of bed, washing, toileting, cooking and attending events such as sports matches or concerts.

TNT images, Getty images

What’s the best part about your job?

It’s a well-paid, live-in job that’s also very flexible with the length of placements, allowing me to travel wherever and whenever I like.

What’s the most challenging?

Sometimes it is hard to understand the very varied needs of each client.

Scale the career ladder

July ‘right time’ to ask for payrise Employees angling for a promotion at work this year should broach the issue with their bosses in June and July, new research suggests.

January traditionally was the month when Australian workers bagged a promotion, the internet-based professional networking organisation LinkedIn, said.

While the first month of the year remains a popular time for moving up the career ladder, that trend is changing.

Many promotions are now being granted at the end of the financial year, according to

LinkedIn. “Our research shows that most Australian professionals get their promotions in January or around the end of the financial year,” said spokesman SallyAnne Blanshard.

She added: “This is the time they should be looking at investing in developing their brand online and networking.”

The research showed a recent spike in July promotions, specifically in accountancy and law sectors.

It also found that Generation Y workers – those born in the 1980s – were also more likely

to be promoted in the middle of the year.

The large number of professionals in this age range proved the catalyst for this shift in pattern.

The research shows that Australia is catching up with a more global trend of January, July and September being the most popular months for promotion.

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

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RETURNING HOME

The clean-up is just beginning

50

POSITIONS

Vacant

The mammoth rebuild effort in flood-ravaged Queensland has opened up the job market to overseas workers WORDS REBECCA KENT

T

tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

Queensland’s mining sector is constant ly in need of labour

he floods in Queensland, Australia, submerged two thirds of the state beneath raging torrents of water, leaving a trail of destruction. Brisbane, its capital was also strangled by flooding, leaving 11,900 homes and 2500 businesses completely destroyed.

The clean-up process, described as that of “post-war proportions” by the premier, Anna Bligh, is under way.

Houses, offices, schools, roads, railways and other major infrastructure need to be built from scratch in an undertaking predicted to last several years.

Queenslanders have a determined pragmatism to get the rebuild programme off the ground. But the state is desperately short of skilled labour. And so, an

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tntjobs.co.uk BEST OF THE WEB BUCKINGHAM CORPORATE FINANCE T: 020 7798 2840 www.buckinghamcf.com Buckingham advises entrepreneurs and growing businesses. We provide specialist help to sell businesses, buy businesses and raise capital.

ISAAC OGUNJOBI & PARTNERS T: UK 0049-1715109237 or 0049-6135707501 British, American & German Property Developer and Realtor firm.

JOB OF THE WEEK: PA to Directors Location: London Victoria/St James’s Park Salary: 26K Experienced PA to work for three busy Directors. Exceptional communication, organizational and time management, top accuracy and attention to detail.

Great people skills. A good knowledge of Word, Excel & Power Point.

Immediate start.

Cindy Christodoulou | 020 7798 2840 | cindy.christodoulou@buckinghamcf.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Training Property Negotiators Location: London Salary: TBC British, American & German Property Developer and Realtor firm looking for Training property Negotiators immediately.

English, German language is mandatory other languages are a plus.

Car & accommodation can be provided.

075 35346092 | Email your CV to epdc-germ@t-online.de or fax direct 0049-6135932136

SERVICE WORKS GROUP T: 020 8877 4080 www.swg.com Superb opportunity for an experienced Senior Sales Executive or Sales Manager who is returning from the UK to Australia and looking to secure a role with an established, well respected software company, HQ in London with offices in Melbourne, VIC.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Senior IT Software Sales Executive Location: Sydney, Australia Salary: $ Competitive Package Candidates will need a minimum of 5 years sales experience, a proven track record in both new business sales and account management, preferably experience in either IT sales or facilities / property management and a valid Australian residency / work permit.

Paula Bowie | 020 8877 4080 | recruitment@swg.com

SHAD T: 020 8675 6095 www.shad.org.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Personal (Care) Assistant Location: London (Wandsworth, Lambeth, Islington) Salary: FREE ACCOMODATION plus allowance

Providing independent living support to disabled people. P/A’s needed for up to 12 months. Free accommodation and personal allowance provided. Friendly, supportive team.

You will have an interest in providing wide ranging independent living support and assistance with day-to-day tasks to people with physical disabilities living in their own home. Free accommodation, allowance and training provided!

Job satisfaction guaranteed!

Vitalis Nnebue | 020 8675 6095 | volunteering@shad.org.uk

DANIEL OWEN T: 020 7248 0000 www.danielowen.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Trainee Construction Staff Location: Central London Salary: £20-25k p.a

Daniel Owen is a successful recruitment agency focused on construction industry staffing.

Bright and enthusiastic Trainees wanted for Central London Construction Recruitment Agency, full training given. Must be comfortable in a sales environment & have an interest in the construction industry.

Excellent prospects to earn bonuses and make advancement.

Kevin Parsons | 020 7248 0000 | kevin.parsons@danielowen.co.uk

ON THE GO TOURS T: 020 7471 6402 www.onthegotours.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Travel Consultant + Specialist TailorMade Consultant Location: West London Salary: Basic + Commission OTE 27+

On The Go Tours are a specialist tour operator – expert at combining culture, soft adventure and their unparalleled experience in tours and holidays.

The right candidates will be well travelled and have previous experience working within the Travel Industry. You will be required to cover some late evenings and weekends in the office. In reward you will get a good package, including opportunities to travel. Email your CV to john@onthegotours.com John Taylor | 020 7471 6402 |john@onthegotours.com

LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT JOB? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact the TNT sales team| 020 7341 6767 | sales@tntmagazine.com

Julia Gillard and Anna Bligh

RETURNING HOME 53

Jobs are available to those with initiative

Getty Images, TNT Images

opportunity has arisen for people with the right skills to work Down Under. Here is the information you need to do it.

TAKE THE QUICKEST ROUTE Australia already has in place a skilled migration programme to fill skills gaps in its workforce. The 457 temporary long-stay visa falls under this scheme, it’s a fast and flexible route for the entry of skilled workers to Australia. It has been, and still is, used to help employers, especially in healthcare, construction and engineering, to sponsor foreign workers to address the skills dearth in those industries.

In recognition of the need to expedite the flood rebuild programme, Australian prime minister Julia Gillard has announced fast-track processing of 457 visa applications specifically for reconstruction jobs in flood-affected areas, providing quick access to skilled overseas labour where local supply is insufficient.

It will only take five days for the visas to get the green light.

SHOW OFF YOUR TALENTS It should be clarified that if you are an electrician, you can’t just jump on a plane and head to Queensland. You need to be sponsored by a company first.

Employers can sponsor skilled workers for up to four years with no limit on the number of workers.

To facilitate this, the government is offering personalised assistance with visa applications to employers involved in the reconstruction work.

For applicants, the standard process still applies. All 457 visa candidates are required to demonstrate they have the skills and experience necessary to perform their nominated occupation. Some may have to undergo a skills assessment.

INDUSTRIES COMPETE The floods rebuild effort has served to compound an ongoing labour shortage in Queensland, says Queensland’s agent general in London, Andrew Craig.

“Even before the floods there was always a demand for labour. The buoyant nature of the mining sector ensured this, and it applies to areas where there was

significant expansion in infrastructure, including the major liquified natural gas project in Gladstone,” he says.

“Work like floodproofing highways and roads were in the throes of happening.

“This will now change and precedence will be given to getting things to not only the way they were, but better.”

TAKE INITIATIVE The Queensland Reconstruction Authority has been set up to establish the magnitude of the rebuild effort. Until then, the number and types of jobs available will be difficult to ascertain.

However, the need for skilled plumbers, electricians, farmers, engineers and mechanics are guaranteed.

Craig recommends anyone interested should should keep in touch with the Department of Immigration and Citizenship and the High Commission.

Take initiative, too. He adds: “Anyone with the required skills and with links to major construction firms in Australia should really try to get in touch and see if they can get sponsored.”

» immi.gov.au

WORKING IT OUT JOBS JUST A CLICK AWAY There are various government and employment agencies where you can expect jobs to be advertised as the Queensland flood rebuild effort develops. Try these for a start: ■ jobs.qld.gov.au ■ lgjobs.com.au ■ jobSearch.gov.au

■ centrelink.gov.au ■ careersonline.com.au ■ deewr.gov.au ■ seek.com.au ■ mycareer.com.au ■ jobaroo.com Ready to make the move? Get in touch with 1stcontact.com.au to help you sort out your tax and migration issues.

tntmagazine.com

RETURNING HOME

SOUTH AFRICAN CITIZENS QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL NURSES ßAre you longing to return to sunny South Africa?

54

ßWe can assist you with sourcing the right opportunity back home!

AVAILABLE POSITIONS THROUGHOUT SA: NNICU & Adult ICU (trained & experienced); Theatre various disciplines (Scrub, Recovery & Anaesthetics), Midwife’s (Labour); Paediatrics, Medical, Surgical & Unit Managers.

If you are SANC registered with a Diploma/Degree in Nursing then forward your detailed CV to staffingsolutions@bdce.co.za

The BDCE Staffing Solutions team comprises of competent and professional staff members with 28 years collective recruitment experience. The team strives for service excellence and is dedicated to secure the best opportunities for our applicants and finding the rights skills for our clients.

> Senior Accountant > 5 years plus experience > Generous salary package WE HAVE AN IDEAL OPPORTUNITY FOR AN INDIVIDUAL RETURNING TO AUSTRALIA Geoffrey Nathan Consulting Inc. (GNC) has been delivering salary packaging solutions to workers for over 19 years. Geoffrey Nathan is the market’s leading contractor management company in Australia, offering a range of payroll, free recruitment, migration consulting and salary packaging solutions.

An excellent opportunity has arisen to work in our Sydney Office located in the CBD. GNC has a fantastic culture and is a fast expanding organisation within the industry.

Reporting to the General Managers your overall responsibilities will include, but not limited to the following: • Bank Reconciliations • Petty Cash Reconciliations • Sales Reporting • P&L preparation and review • Asset Register maintenance • BAS preparation and review • Preparation of weekly financial and sales reports • Preparation of commission reports • Year End Accounting • Yearly Budget Preparation

To be successful for this role you must: • Be degree qualified with a minimum of 5 years experience • Be part qualified CPA/CA • Have strong communications skills • Be reliable, and have attention to detail and accuracy • Have effective time management, planning and organisational skills • Be personable and a motivated self starter • Have valid work rights to work in Australia

Please e-mail CV to Lisa Harrison – lisa.harrison@geoffreynathan.com noting TNT in the subject field tntmagazine.com

RETURNING HOME 55

Do you still call Australia home?

Opportunities for experienced professionals include: s Project and Program Managers s Change Managers s Enterprise Architects/Solution Architects s Applications Developers (.Net, Java/J2EE, Sharepoint) s Data Warehouse / Business Intelligence Consultants. s L&D Consultants (Instructional Designers, Trainers, Multimedia Developers) s OBIEE Consultants s Siebel Consultants (BA’s, Technical Consultants, PM’s, UCM, On Demand) s Junior and Senior Business Analysts and Business Process Specialists s Data Modellers and Database Developers s Data Management / Data Quality Consultants s Agile Consultants s Customer Experience BA’s s Systems Integration Specialists (TIBCO, Websphere, Calypso)

Homesick?

Missing sand between your toes?

SMS Management & Technology (SMS) is Australia’s premier home-grown IT management consulting company employing over 1600 technology and business professionals across Australia, Hong Kong and Vietnam.

SMS will pay your fare home (partners and children included) to join any one of its Australian offices in Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne and Sydney if you meet our requirements.

SMS works across a wide range of industries, most notably financial services, government, telecommunications, health, defence, utilities, airlines and mining. Candidates from any of these industries are of particular interest, as are those with management and technical consulting experience.

Would you like to join us in 2011? We’ll be conducting interviews in Manchester and London over two weeks commencing 19 March.

Applications should be forwarded through the SMS website at www.smsmt.com with a detailed letter providing additional relevant information.

Applicants will be advised soon after their application has been received if an interview is to be arranged.

If you would like to meet us at the ‘Working In’ Australian Recruiting Expo in Manchester 19/20 March or London 26/27 March, contact us for a complimentary visitor’s pass.

SMS Management & Technology Head Office: Level 41, 140 William Street, Melbourne VIC 3000

ADELAIDE – BRISBANE – CANBERRA – MELBOURNE – SYDNEY – HONG KONG – VIETNAM

www.smsmt.com

tntmagazine.com

MONEY Your monthly guide to moving to Australia and New Zealand RETURNING HOME

The flood levy will help to rebuild communities

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

56

Haley Johnson

Aus divided on flood tax ustralian taxpayers will be hit with a flood levy on their incomes to fund the repair bill for flood-ravaged parts of the country.

The new income tax, which will be imposed throughout the 2011-12 financial year, will be applied at a rate of 0.5 per cent on annual incomes

A

MAKES YOUR MONEY GO FURTHER

tntmagazine.com

criticised as the wrong instrument to provide disaster relief. There is an argument that people already dip into their pockets in times of crisis.

However, a Giving Australia report in 2005 showed donations made up 0.68 per cent of gross domestic product (half of what Americans give).

FAIR PAY PUSH IN VIC

MINERS WELL-TO-DO

Unions are pushing through a nationwide equal pay case for tens of thousands of community and social workers in Victoria. Fair Work Australia is presiding over the claim that seeks to achieve a pay-rise totalling $1.7bn over the next four years for the workers, who are mainly women.

Mining workers earn two-thirds more than the average staff.

Workers in the booming industry receive on average $114,700 a year, compared to the average full-time wage of $68,300, Bureau of Statistics figures show. Construction and finance are the next highest paying sectors.

How do you budget in London?

Largely, I don’t! I do, however, have a direct debit set up from my pay to a savings account. I usually draw on it each month but the thought is there!

Any money-saving tips for when you first arrive?

Save up as much as you can before you arrive, stay with friends until you find the right place to live, hunt out your local happy hour and if you are eating out, chase down some BYO. Last big blowout?

Laptop and trip home.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Everything! Eating out, drinking, gigs, travel.

Not very exciting, but there you go.

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD A Chinese millionaire has just commissioned a £427k diamond-encrusted, gold-plated Fiat 500. Others have also turned some interesting things into gold ... » A gold-plated Nintendo Wii the two are a perfect marriage. was delivered to the Queen in » For just under £1000, you a publicity stunt to promote the launch of new software. » Gold rabbits are a hot demand in this Chinese Year of the Rabbit. Gold is seen as a safe investment option and rabbits are lucky animals so Gold rabbits are extra lucky

can get your jollies with a gold-plated Elo Vya vibrator. » Posh New York restaurant Serendipity 3 dishes up a chocolate dessert sprinkeld with 23-carat edible gold dust for a measly £16,000.

Getty Images

Between commissions, credit card surcharges and ATM fees, you’ll almost always have to pay extra for the privilege of exchanging currency. But you can make your money go further.

If you plan to travel before you land on home soil, always know what the exchange rate is in your chosen destinations and buy up when it’s favourable. The website xe.com is a reliable reference.

You will almost always get the best rate if you use an ATM or credit card to buy currency.

When you do, ask for the net rate after commissions to avoid confusion. Some commissions are charged on a per-item basis on each transaction and others on a percentage basis.

You don’t want to be tricked by unscrupulous vendors.

exceeding $50,000 and 1 per cent on those over $100,000.

It will contribute $1.8bn to the total clean-up bill of 5.6bn.

Senior international analyst, Steven Hess, backed the levy, citing Australian prime minister Julia Gillard’s “strong fiscal discipline”.

But the tax has been

Job HR assistant From Sydney, Australia Lives Shoreditch Age 27

RETURNING HOME

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Photo by ChinaFotoPress/ Getty Images

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COOL

Runnings Explore a city while burning calories by giving ‘sightjogging’ a whirl, the latest craze to hit the UK

WORDS SIMON COLE

J

ogging down Colchester high street, we weave our way between bemused shoppers before turning into the quieter Dutch Quarter. We’re on a running tour of Britain’s oldest recorded town, and enthusiastic guide Sascha Cutura is educating me about everything Colchester.

With a stimulating combination of history, outdoor exercise and endorphins, ‘sightjogging’ is a great way to get that little bit more out of your mini-break.

Running is the new walking...

tntmagazine.com

GROWING TREND From Buenos Aires to Barcelona, running tours are available in some 60 locations across the globe. In the UK, they’re spreading to a variety of places such as London, Glasgow and Colchester. Far from being an Essex native, Sascha is originally from Germany but has a real passion for his adopted home: “I love it

Explore ancient ruins such as Kilchurn Castle

TRAVEL 61

Run Forrest...

here, and I don’t think enough is being done to promote Colchester, so I started the tours myself.”

TNT Images

RUNNING WILD Maintaining a steady jog past 16th century Tudor houses – the tour is about fun, not becoming an Olympic athlete – we pass a pretty half-timbered pub. “Look! 360year-old bullet holes!” says Sascha.

In 1648, during the English Civil War, thousands of soldiers clashed here as parliamentary forces surrounded Royalists hiding behind Colchester’s fortified walls. One of the large siege cannon deployed on these walls was known as Humpty Dumpty, giving its name to the nursery rhyme character.

Established in LA and New York for some time, many tours are still in their infancy elsewhere. Sascha’s clientele is still mainly comprised of locals and people from surrounding villages.

CONQUER ALL The Romans never did conquer Scotland, where long-time runner Alan Hill takes tourists and business people on jogging tours of Glasgow (cityrunningtours.co.uk).

“I often stayed away on business and all that hotel concierges could provide was a map with the occasional comment to avoid a particular area,” says Alan.

“Back home, I came up with the idea of providing safe guided runs for visitors.”

Alan’s usual 10k route includes universities, museums, parks and the River Clyde. But the surrounding countryside is a fantastic resource and he tailors his tours to suit individuals: “I can

cover Loch Lomond, the West Highland Way and the Robert Burns Trail. “You get to understand Scotland while keeping fit.”

VIRTUOUS SIGHTSEEING Back in Colchester, Sascha shows me the Roman walls that have surrounded it for almost 2,000 years. Pausing by the Balkerne Gate to get my breath back, it’s immediately taken away again by a slice of 19th century industrial architecture.

At 105-feet high, the largest remaining Victorian water tower in the UK is a red brick mammoth.

“We call it ‘Jumbo’. Back in 1882 the local vicar didn’t like it, so he named it after an elephant.”

Our final stop on the hour-long tour is the impressive Norman castle where Sascha shows me the doomed Royalist leaders’ execution spot.

Leaving Camulodunum for Londinium, I can say I’ve learned some ancient history – and I’ve burned yesterday’s calories. Sightseeing never felt so virtuous.

» Colchester Sight Running (colchestersightrunning.co.uk) charges £9.50 for tours; 1pm every Sat. Colchester is one hour by train from Liverpool St (national expresseastanglia.com); £19.70 return.

See visitcolchester.com.

Learn history as you keep fit

Life’s a beach on a jogging tour

FINDING A RUNNING TOUR Globalrunningtours.com is a directory of running tours with a handy clickable map. “Its objective is to market the concept around the world,” says site creator Juan Lapadula, owner of Urban Running Tours Buenos Aires (urbanrunningtours.com.ar).

“There are more than 80 companies offering tours in over 60 cities. Tours started about 10 years ago but in the last couple of years they’ve become more popular.”

New York’s City Running Tours (cityrunningtours.com) is one of the best known.

“It’s about giving runners a chance to continue their daily routine while sharing our version of our city, in our way,” says president Michael Gazaleh.

The field is still evolving and in some places, operators come and go. But shoot off an email in advance and you could be seeing a different side to your destination – and warding off a beer belly to boot.

TNT online For a full travel guide on England go to tntmagazine.com/travel/

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UNDER £250

62

Spend a fun-filled weekend in Madrid, Spain, for £188 with Directline Citybreaks (020 8239 3399; directline-citybreaks.co. uk), including flights and three nights’ B&B accommodation.

Departs Feb 11.

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Seven nights’ skiing in the lively resort of Arinsal, Andorra, is £199.50 (save £199.50) with Inghams (0208 780 4447; inghams.co.uk), including B&B accommodation, flights and transfers. Resort is ideal for beginners and intermediates.

Departs Feb 27.

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DEAL OF THE WEEK

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Laze on a white-sand beach in Jamaica for one week for £499 (save £223) with Hayes & Jarvis (0871 664 0246; hayesandjarvis.com), including three-star accommodation, flights and transfers.

Three nights in Rome is £298 with Directline Citybreaks (020 8239 3399; directline-citybreaks. co.uk), including B&B accommodation and flights.

Departs April 15.

Seven nights’ skiing in Le Corbier, France, is £319 with RocketSki (01273 810777; equityski.co.uk), including halfboard accommodation, flights and transfers. Departs Feb 26.

A 10-day Turkey Unplugged tour is £449 (save £50) with On The Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com), including B&B accommodation, five dinners and transfers. Departs Feb 19.

A four-night break to Las Vegas is £599 (save £364) with Hayes & Jarvis (0871 664 0246; hayesandjarvis.com), including room-only accommodation and flights. Departs Feb 26.

Two weeks in Namibia is £2298 (save £305) with Explore (0844 499 0901; explore.co.uk), including flights, 12 nights’ B&B accommodation, most other meals and transport. Departs March 3.

Explore Spain for 14 days with Contiki (0845 075 0990; contiki. com/lates) for £831 (save £208).

Visit Barcelona, Valencia, Seville, Madrid, Pamplona and more. Departs Feb 14. Quote: PPCLMD576.

Seven nights in Sri Lanka is £559 with Travelbag (0871 703 4240; travelbag.co.uk), including accommodation and flights. Valid for travel from May 15 to 31.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

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A two-night Valentine’s trip to Edinburgh is £107.50 with lowcostholidays.com (0844 770078), includes B&B and flights. Departs Feb 13.

12 nights in Namibia is £2298 with Explore

TRAVEL 63

TNT Weekender Reykjavík ICELAND

As a base for trips to the soothing thermal baths, gushing geysers and dramatic waterfalls that make up Iceland’s other-worldly landscape, Reykjavík is ideal.

Home to achingly hip bars, intimate clubs and live music venues, it offers a stellar nightlife. Visit in winter to see the Northern Lights.

TNT Images, Stockshots.no/Innovation Norway

HEADLINE ATTRACTION Just outside Reykjavík is the Blue Lagoon, a giant outdoor geothermal bath, rich in natural mineral salts and algae. In winter, the lagoon is surrounded by snow, making the contrast between the cosy warmth of the water and the icy-cold air irresistible. The milky blue waters top a toasty 40°C, which can make it hard to drag yourself out, especially when the air temperature is below freezing.

former setting for the annual Viking assembly, thought to be the world’s oldest parliament as it was founded in 930AD.

CHOW DOWN The city has a surfeit of restaurants serving fresh melt-in-the-mouth fish. If you’re feeling particularly brave and have a cast-iron stomach, try local delicacy, Hakari, aka rotten shark, which has been left in the ground for a few months.

It’s worse than roadkill on a plate and honks of mouldy cheese and rotting flesh.

Eating the stuff is a macho rite of passage for the tough Viking-descended Icelanders.

OUT OF TOWN Snorkel or dive between the American and Eurasian continents at Silfra Rift in Thingvellir National Park.

Only 50km from Reykjavík,

AND A RANDOM FACT More than half of all Icelanders believe in elves and trolls, known as the ‘hidden people’.

Legend has it that when God visited Eve, she only had time to clean up half her children, so she hid the others. As punishment, God said the children would stay hidden forever. Nowadays, Iceland’s building projects are often moved to prevent damaging the rock where the hidden people are believed to live and some gardens have tiny wooden houses for elves.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Winter is the best time to see the Northern Lights, while summers are milder with 24-hour daylight between June and August.

GETTING THERE Icelandair (icelandair.co.uk) flies to Reykjavík twice daily.

VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa.

CURRENCY Icelandic krona.

1 GBP = 187 ISK. LANGUAGE Icelandic, but everyone speaks English.

GETTING AROUND Rent a jeep or go on a tour to visit attractions outside the city.

GOING OUT A beer is 800 ISK. ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds cost from £15 a night.

SEE inspiredbyiceland.com; visiticeland.com

NEXT WEEK ATHENS

BEST OF THE REST A popular day trip from Reykjavík is known as the Golden Circle and takes in the geysers of Geysir and Stokkur, the waterfalls at Gullfoss and Thingvellir National Park, the

the rift is flanked by huge rock formations and the startlingly clear waters offer visibility to 100m. The water is so clean that you can take your mask off and enjoy a refreshing drink. It’s a tad nippy at 2°C as the lagoon is filled with melted water from a glacier about 50km away, so you’ll have to wear a dry suit. See dive.is.

TNT online Northern LIghts

For a full travel guide on Iceland go to tntmagazine. com/travel

ICELAND REYKJAVIK Thingvellir National Park

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HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER STREET Mihail Kopychko, Mogilev, Belarus

A wonderful use of composition and light brings out the drama in this intense moment. The shape of the car on its side is very strong with the whole thing perched on the round wheel and the open door reaching to the sky. The silhouette of the man is nicely offset by the misty background as are the sparks

flying off the welding. This bold, graphic set-up contrasts with the softness of the misty background and all this is emphasized by the use of black and white.

HOT TIP: Mist is excellent for bringing depth to your shots by giving a layered effect to the background and is especially effective

with a long lens (zooming in). » Mihail wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £198 from Haggis Adventures (0131 557 9393; haggisadventures.com)

RUNNER-UP

than photographic. A nice diagonal line emphasizes the movement of the boy by giving him a point to run to.

HOT TIP: Texture in any image is shown up best by a harsh side light. Direct evening sun is perfect for showing off texture. » Virginie wins a course from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photography courses.org.uk) valued at £60

DUNE CRUISING, NAMIBIA Virginie MJ Harel, Mauritius The drama in this shot is brought about by the high contrast lighting (direct sunlight) which results in deep shadows and saturated colour. The texture of the sand is really brought out with this light and it puts the running figure into sharp relief so the effect is almost graphic rather

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HOTSHOTS

HOLIDAY SNAPS

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT

THEME: FILTERS Trogir by twilight by Rebecca Watkins, Newcastle, Australia Filters should be used with care as it is easy to plonk on a filter just for effect. However, if used well they can add an extra dimension to an image. Rebecca used a star filter which gave a burst effect to the two strong lights in this shot.

TRAVEL 65

WHY THIS WORKS: 1 The diagonal lines created by the star burst add to the many diagonal themes.

2 The repeated arch shapes are accentuated by the yellow ambient light and give the image depth.

3 The two sets of stairs provide a nice link between the foreground and background as well as the low and high parts of the frame and give it an Escheresque quality.

4 The shot is full of texture, from the cobbles to the railings to the stone walls.

5 The low viewpoint has emphasised the height of the sweeping arches and the stairs.

HOT TIPS: 1 Beware of filters. If used at the time of shooting, it would be difficult to erase their effect so be absolutely sure you want the look they give.

2 Filters added on in postproduction arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t the same as when the effect is achieved when taking the photo.

Thinking of faking it? Ensure you have the right elements in the shot to pull it off.

3 Warm up filters to enhance skin tones and make skin appear smoother.

4 Standard landscape filters are graduated neutral density to darken skies; UV and skylight filters to cut through

: 6- (>,:64, ;6<9 : .

05 9 7 0: / ; + 5 ( 3 ; :*6

haze and UV light which affects film; and polarisers to improve the look of reflective surfaces such as water, clouds and foliage.

5 Star burst filters are great for night scenes but your composition has to be strong as they will take the picture over.

TNT online For details of how to enter go to tntmagazine.com/gallery

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N I S R H 4 2 MADRID

Art, chocolate, beer, tapas, shops, bars, clubs. Madrid SPAIN And only one day to see them in. We show ne day when you’re rich and you how it’s done WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN famous, holidays will never be

O

shorter than a month. But until that time comes, don’t let a lack of time stand in the way of discovering Europe’s iconic cities. Madrid, Spain’s stylish, exciting capital, stays up all night. Which is just as well, because you will be too.

Sleep at your desk on Monday.

9AM Wake up in your hotel and feel excited.

You’re in Spain’s capital, a city founded

by Arabs in the IX Century that is now one of Europe’s buzziest centres. In its time, Madrid has been the seat of resistance against French occupation and seen the beginning of the Spanish war of Independence.

tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

Make sure you go to see Picasso’s famous Guernica

10AM Get your skates on; it’s time to see where you are. The Puerta del Sol is the centre of Madrid and it’ll be bustling with tourists but walk through and take a picture of the famous statue of a bear eating a madrone

Madrid comes alive at night

NEED TO KNOW

SPAIN

Carlos Luj n / Nophoto, TNT Images

tree, the heraldic symbol of Madrid.

The Royal Palace of Madrid is still used by the Spanish royal family on state occasions but most of the time the doors to at least some of its nearly 3,000 rooms are open to the masses. Have a look at the mind-blowing opulence inside and try not to compare it to your flat in Bow. Historic Plaza Major is spectacular but don’t eat or drink here unless you’re happy to be ripped off. Do, however, feel impressed by its European grandeur and look up at the 1992 ‘angels and saints’ mural decorating one of the buildings.

MIDDAY OK, enough walking, you need fortifying.

Head to La Latina, the oldest part of Madrid and full of higgledy-piggledy cobbled streets, wrought iron balconies and Madrileños hipsters.

There are lots of tapas bars, so try something different in each. In many bars

TRAVEL

WHEN TO GO Anytime.

GETTING THERE Air Europa flies direct to Madrid from £48.50 (aireuropa.com), as does Ryanair, easyJet, Iberia and BA. There are also good train connections with other Spanish cities.

GETTING AROUND Walk or use the very comprehensive Metro system.

VISAS South Africans need a Schengen visa.

CURRENCY Euro. 1 GBP = 1.18 EUR. LANGUAGE Spanish.

GOING OUT A beer costs from ¤2.

ACCOMMODATION Dorm beds from ¤13.

Hotel rooms from about ¤30.

MADRID SEE turismomadrid.es.

67

in Madrid, you’ll be given a free plate of tapas with each drink you buy.

2PM El Prado will blow your mind and you’re not really doing the world’s largest art gallery justice with a short visit, so be specific about what you want to see.

Don’t miss the terrifying darkness of Goya’s Black Period paintings with his fearsome Colossus and Saturn Devouring His Son. The museum houses a collection of art built up over two centuries and other greats include El Greco, Velázquez, Raphael and Bosch.

Iconic tourist snap

4PM You can’t leave Madrid without seeing Picasso’s famous Guernica at the Reina Sofía Museum. The huge painting depicts the bombing of Guernica during the Spanish Civil War and is full of references to bullfighting and violence.

9PM Madrid has it going on every night of the week and people party til the morning.

Have a leisurely dinner before you start boozing as bars won’t get busy before 11pm and clubs are dead until 2am.

Chueca is Madrid’s gay district and has risen 5PM from its former It’s time for chocolate. Hot junkie-ridden chocolate is taken seriously in squalor to become a Spain and the Chocolatería wild, hip nightlife San Ginés near the Puerta del haven.

Sol is open until the small Nearby Malasaña Tapas on tap hours when spaced-out clubbers is chilled out, boho stop in for a sugar fix. Order a and a good place to do cup of thick, rich hot chocolate with a some bar-hopping. Drinking plate of churros to dip. Cocoa nirvana. on the street is the norm, especially in the summer, and there’s a warren of bars to 6PM explore. Now shame on you if you’re There’s time for shopping as Madrileños home before dawn! don’t have dinner until late. Central Madrid is good for big department stores with familiar names such as Mango and For a full travel guide on Madrid, Spain Zara. For trendier boutiques head to Calle go to tntmagazine.com/travel/ Fuencarral and Hortaleza, near Gran Via.

TNT online

Chocolate: serious business

TIPS

READERS’ TIPS

Take a romantic detour to Juliet’s balcony in Verona

GROUP POWER

TRAVEL

If you’re travelling TIP OF around London THE WEEK with 10 or more, the cheapest way to travel is to buy a group travelcard.

Travel on the Tube, DLR and London Overground with a group day ticket for £4 each. The only catch is that you’re not allowed to take the bus. It’s particularly useful if you’re doing a pub crawl around the capital with a big group.

68

Pania, via email

STOCK UP

YOU ASKED FOR IT Laura Lindsay FROM LONELY PLANET Following a water leak in our kitchen, my partner and I have just been rewarded £700. We want to spend it on a bank holiday trip in Europe. Can you suggest a quirky trip on that budget? And yes, a destination with water is acceptable.

Karl, via email

Q

A

tntmagazine.com

A

This will be a lovely time to visit Italy.

The weather will be warm but not overpowering – perfect for walking. You could hire a car or use Italy’s fantastic train network to explore this region, stopping off at different points to explore the countryside. This way you will be able to get to see as much of the region as possible.

It really depends how far you want to travel from the area between Milan and Bologna – a few hours’ drive would enable you to visit the eternal favourite Lake Garda or take a romantic detour to Verona.

Despite being a tourist honeypot, Juliet’s balcony is worth a visit, as is the awe-inspiring Roman amphitheatre. To beat the crowds the Garfagnana region offers good hiking and is relatively undiscovered by tourists.

The delightful hilltop town of Barga is a nice place to wander around. It is Liberation Day on April 25 and Labour Day on May 1. Check openings and travel arrangements on these days as festivities may disrupt normal service.

Maria, via email Email your words of wisdom to traveltips@tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@ tntmagazine. com. If she answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

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My suggestion to make the most of your windfall would be to steer clear of traditional European city breaks as accommodation and food will be expensive in tourist mega cities such as Paris or Rome.

Instead look further east where culture is plentiful, architecture is distinctive and it won’t break the bank.

Kraków is a good bet for a few days of history and culture without costing a fortune. The city itself has a number of attractions worth checking out including the castle which is fun to explore – watch out for the Dragon’s Cave and the bustling Renaissance cloth hall. Nearby are Auschwitz and the Wieliczka Salt Mine, two very worthwhile day trips.

To get out into the Polish countryside head to Zakopane and the Tatra Mountains. Budget carriers Ryanair and easyJet both fly to Kraków and numerous online travel sites such as Expedia and lastminute.com will offer flight and hotel deals. The Vistula River runs through the city offering you some watery scenery – but not of the inconvenient boiler variety!

My partner and I are planning to visit Tuscany and the surrounding region in April for 11 days. We are flying to Bologna and returning from Milan. Apart from art and architecture, we want to cover some countryside too. Can you recommend a route on a reasonable budget?

Karl, via email

Q

Carry stock cubes and pasta on your travels to third world countries as the combination boiled makes a quick and easy broth, especially useful if arriving late at a hostel and not being able to find shops or eateries open. Street food can be tempting to try, but may leave you ill for a few days, and unless you have unlimited time, it can prove to be a bit of a setback.

TRAVEL NEWS Lisbonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Travellers House

EGYPT UPDATE

HOSTEL SALE HostelBookers is extending its January sale until midnight on February 28.

Discounts are available worldwide across 35 destinations including Buenos Aires, Beijing, New York and Los Angeles.

The best deal can be found in Prague at the Guesthouse Golden Tree where sale rooms are going for ÂŁ7.10 a night.

Bookings must be made

by February 28 and sale prices are valid on travel completed by March 31.

Tourists flock to the Arctic Travellers are flocking to the Arctic following Bruce Parryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s groundbreaking TV series.

Gap Adventures has reported an increased interest in its expedition cruises, which call at Spitsbergen and the High Arctic since the airing of Parryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Arcticâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; series.

TRAVEL

The Foreign Office is advising against all but essential travel to Cairo, Alexandria, Luxor and Suez following violent demonstrations in Egypt.

Tour operator On The Go has cancelled all tours scheduled to start up to February 10.

Anyone travelling between February 11 and 28 can defer travel arrangements to Egypt or can opt for an alternative On The Go destination.

Changes are free of charge. For the latest information from On The Go, see onthegotours.com/ Egypt-DemonstrationsTravel-Update.

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WORLDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BEST HOSTELS Lisbonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Travellers House has been hailed the Best Hostel in the World for the third year running in Hostelworld.comâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual Hoscars.

The winning venues were chosen by more than one million customers who stayed in the properties in 2010.

Winners were selected based on their overall score in six categories that included fun, cleanliness, staff, security, location and character. TV presenter Craig Doyle hosted the glittering Hoscar awards on Friday night in London.

The Portuguese city of Lisbon proved to be the jewel in the crown for budget conscious travellers, scooping the top three spots.

Travellers House was closely followed by Lisbon

Lounge and Living Lounge. Tiago Venancio, coowner of Travellers House, said: â&#x20AC;&#x153;We pride ourselves on treating our guests the way we want to be treated when we were travelling. We try to offer them everything that we would like â&#x20AC;&#x201C; comfortable accommodation, a great location and friendly atmosphere.â&#x20AC;?

Riverhouse Backpackers in Cardiff was named Best UK Hostel.

Edinburgh was the dominant city in the UK, bagging four places in the top 10. Castle Rock Hostel finished second with Budget Backpackers, Royal Mile and High Street Hostel completing the quartet.

For the full list of winners, see hostelworld. com/hoscars-2011.

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ON THE ROAD

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

ON THE ROAD

NIGHT OF THE WITCHES

TRAVEL

Catemaco, Mexico March 4 A convention of shamans, witches and healers meet in the epicentre of Mexico’s witch-doctor industry. It’s touristy but still good if you’re looking for a spell or magic amulet. And aren’t we all?

70

» catemaco.info

THE BIG SNOW FESTIVAL ARINSAL, ANDORRA MARCH 13-20 WHAT: Ski or snowboard all

» thebigsnowfestival.com

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

LOCK IT IN FLOWERS FESTIVAL Middenmeer, Holland Feb 23-27 hollandflowersfestival.nl

GOLDEN SHEARS Masterson, NZ Mar 5 goldenshears.co.nz

YAP DAY IDITAROD Alaska, US Begins Mar 5 Putting your 5k charity run to shame, ‘mushers’ (dogsledders) race 1850km and cross two mountain ranges recreating the trail along which life-saving medicine was brought in 1925.

» iditarod.com

Where in the world?

Yap, Micronesia Mar 1 visit-fsm.org

SOUTH BY SOUTHWEST Austin, US Mar 11 sxsw.com

HOLI India and Nepal Begins Mar 19 holifestival.org

THE TRAVELLER …

Matt Halbert, 29, Melbourne, Australia Weirdest travel experience?

The Straw Bear Festival in Peterborough. Men in Morris Dancing outfits is weird!

Best party?

Oktoberfest is the ultimate boys’ festival: drinking, eating and girls in pushup tops.

Favourite place in London?

Kylie Bignall, from Australia, at the Ice Hotel, Romania

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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Porterhouse in Covent Garden they have good live music.

Anything you miss from back home? My cat

and my dog.

Getty Images

day and party all night in the epic Pyrenees mountains.

Snow and music are given equal importance and this year’s line-up includes Example and Danny Byrd.

St Patrick’s Day is bang in the middle of the festival and the party promises to be a “perfect mix of Irishness and good old wrongness”.

WHERE: Between Arinsal and neighbouring resort, Pal,

there are runs, free ride areas and powder bowls to suit all from beginners to pros.

WHY: The peeps behind Big Reunion like snow!

DO IT BECAUSE: Who says summer’s the festi season?

HOW MUCH: From £99

WITH FRANKIE MULLIN

FIVE A-LIST HOLIDAY LOVE

TOP FIVE

JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE TO CELEB-STYLE ROMANCE NORTHERN INDIA WHO: Pop princess Katy Perry and comedian Russell Brand tied the knot last October in a lavish ceremony at the Aman-e-Khas luxury resort outside the Ranthambhore tiger sanctuary, home to 27 tigers, set in the gorgeous countryside of northern India. Brand had initially popped the question in India outside the Taj Mahal.

SEE: incredibleindia.org

1

TRAVEL 71

PARIS, FRANCE WHO: Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Borat, got wed in a private Jewish ceremony in Paris last year.

TomKat are another A-list couple who found romance in Paris. Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes during an afterhours visit to the Eiffel Tower.

SEE: franceguide.com

LAS VEGAS WHO: Neondazzling Vegas has set the scene for many an A-list wedding, including car-crash couplings like Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander. The Little White Wedding Chapel is a top choice for ‘quickie’ weddings.

SEE: visitlasvegas.co.uk

2

5

KENYA WHAT: Kenya tourism is booming thanks to the royal engagement of Wills and Kate.

Prince William popped the question to Kate Middleton at Rutundu Log Cabins, part of the Lewa Downs wildlife resort, at the top of Mount Kenya.

SEE: magicalkenya.com

3

BAHAMAS WHO: Spanish actors Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz wed in the Bahamas last July.

The palm-fringed beaches have attracted a slew of A-list couples to wed there, including Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones as well as Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh.

SEE: bahamas.co.uk

4

THE INSIDER CERIS BORTHWICK, OASIS OVERLAND

Thinkstock

The best part of my job is working with great people and occasionally escaping the office to go overlanding.

My first ever big trip was a seven-month overlanding trip from the UK to Zimbabwe.

My most challenging travel experience is solo backpacking in India. It's a

wonderful place but hardgoing at times.

My most memorable travel experience was hiking alone in Torres del Paine NP, Chile.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is Israel and Palestine for the different cultures, history and sun.

I always pack pen and paper.

My guilty travel pleasure is PG Tips tea bags – nothing else will do!

tntmagazine.com

S S A AN ON THE

Discover Brazil, from Rio de Janeiro, down the Costa Verde to the Iguazu Falls WORDS TOM STURROCK

S E S N E S

SAULT

BIG TRIP

TRAVEL 73

(l-r) Vasco stadium; Igua zu Falls and Rio’s famed carnival

Rio de Janeiro, Iguazu Falls and Paraty BRAZIL

O

utside the stadium, Rio’s Estádio São Januário, the party starts early. Even before the sun goes down the streets alongside teem with vendors hawking merchandise, food and booze.

Tonight, Rio’s CR Vasco da Gama – known simply as Vasco – are taking on Santos, from São Paulo in the Brazilian Série A, and the home fans are already descending on the stadium, cloaked in black and white flags, the rising beat

of their drums matching the heightening anticipation ahead of kick-off.

Inside, it’s standing room only – broad, flat concrete benches run unbroken around the stadium. By the time the teams appear, the stands are a seething mass, the visiting fans judiciously allocated seats at the opposite end to the Vasco hard core.

The drums never stop beating but as the home side appears, a roar erupts and the drums beat louder and faster.

And then, out come Santos, their appearance drawing the Vasco contingent to their feet as one; they greet their opposition with a kind of military salute and the exhortation, in Portuguese, to: “Fuck your mother! Fuck your mother!”

ORPHEUS DESCENDING “The Iguazu have featured in many films,” Edoardo, our guide, explains. “Moonraker, Miami Vice – and in Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. They made

tntmagazine.com

Expect the hard sell in Paraguay

DAY TRIP TO PARAGUAY From the Brazilian town of Foz do Iguaçu it’s just a short trip over the bridge to enter Paraguay.

Head to the shopping district of Barrio Boquerón, a chaotic maze of market streets where clothes, food and electronic equipment spill out of every alleyway.

There are plenty of bargains to be had, and don’t be afraid to haggle, but it’s probably a good idea to steer clear of the street food, unless you have a supernaturally strong stomach.

You should also expect to be hassled incessantly to buy stuff, and even little kids go the hard sell.

Be sure to keep moving if you don’t want to attract a crowd of mini hustlers tugging at your shirt.

BRAZIL

RIO DE JANEIRO

tntmagazine.com

The first steps “ out into thin air are alien ” of the falls are not even visible, obscured by roiling tongues of mist and foam, a mixture of whitewash and oblivion.

The noise is ever-present – a ferocious, gushing white noise, like the sound you hear between your ears when dumped by a big wave.

Abseiling against this backdrop, with falls churning either side, might not seem like the smartest move, but it’s a once-in-a-

Kayak along the Iguazu River

lifetime chance. So I strap in and cautiously reverse over the edge of a small platform that juts out from the undergrowth.

The first steps out into thin air are alien – like missing a step in the dark – but the rope, thankfully, holds fast as I descend, like Orpheus into the underworld, the 30ft drop back to terra firma below.

GALLINA DE PENARD The failing light catches the dust kicked up by a gaggle of kids playing football on a worn pitch in the shadows of Paraty’s terracotta streetscape. One of the kids overshoots his target and the ball bounces in my direction; the pressure’s on, but I manage to hoof it back in their direction – not my best work, but not disastrous.

Paraty is a colonial town set at the foot of the mountains that line Brazil’s Costa Verde. As I head into the Old Town, the cobbled streets grow steadily busier. In

Brazil Tourist Board

Paraty Iguazu Falls

a mistake in that film, though – apart from having aliens in it, they also said the Falls were in the Amazon.”

Indeed, the Iguazu Falls are not in the Amazon; they straddle the Brazilian and Argentinian border. The surrounding landscape is a lush green carpet, thick with jungle, torn apart at its central seam by the ballistic churn of several separate falls spuming into one shared basin.

Below, boats loaded with sightseers forge boldly towards the falls, but only get so far before they reach a friction point and are tossed contemptuously back into the foam.

At the largest of the area’s falls, Garganto do Diabo, or the Devil’s Throat, the bottom

Music and passion at Copacabana Beach

TRAVEL

small corner bars, old, barrel-chested men recline in deckchairs, sipping cachaça.

In the heart of the Old Town, the air hums with salsa and folk music; the wheeze of an accordion drifts up from the far end of a street flush with bars.

In one, I find myself trying out some pigeon Spanish on an accommodating barman named Hugo, who, luckily for both of us, speaks excellent English.

After two of three serves of the finest local cachaça, discussion turns to regional vulgarities; the more colourful, the better.

Hugo insists that the nastiest thing you

The nastiest “ insult is: ‘Gallina de penard’ ” can call a woman is, “Gallina de penard”, or “a chicken with no feathers”. In Brazil, chicken has a double meaning, referring also to a woman who is perhaps too generous with her favours.

“Gallina de penard,” Hugo says slowly, drawing out the pronounciation.

“But I don’t recommend you to say it to any girls around here.”

75 Party in Paraty

Fortunately, though, an equaliser comes before half-time. The second half is a more dour affair but the chanting supporters do not seem to notice.

In the dying minutes, Santos’ attempt to pinch a winning goal falls agonisingly short, allowing Vasco to mount a lightning counter-attack. With crisp precision, the ball sets the back of the net bulging. Vasco win 2-1, and the true believers head out into the warm Rio de Janeiro night singing more loudly than ever.

» Tom Sturrock went on the 17-day Buenos Aires to Rio Unplugged tour with Intrepid Travel (0203 147 7777; intrepidtravel.com).

From £1340 – includes transport, some meals and accommodation.

NEXT WEEK: JORDAN

... and the Middle East hotlist

VICTORY FOR VASCO Back at Estádio São Januário, the drama runs high. The visiting Vasco scored the opening goal of the match, which was not looked upon kindly by the home fans.

Getty Images, AFP, TNT Images

CARNIVAL DRUMS ARE BEATING Rio de Janeiro is one of the most sensuous, colourful, eye-popping cities in the world on a normal day, but it ratchets it up several notches for Carnival, taking place from March 5-11.

Dating back to 1723, the Brazilian Carnival is one of the greatest shows on the planet, combining raucous street parties with flamboyant costumes.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO It’s hard to go wrong with Brazil, although spring or autumn are best if you want to avoid serious heat and the biggest crowds.

GETTING THERE Rio de Janeiro has flights landing all th time.

GETTING AROUND You can get around most of the smaller towns on foot but for travelling around in Brazil, you’ll need to take buses or coaches.

They’re reliable and fairly cheap, but you need to be organised.

VISAS Nationals of the EU and New Zealand do not need tourist visas, but Aussies do.

CURRENCY Brazilian Real.

1 GBP = 2.75 BRL. LANGUAGE Portuguese.

GOING OUT You’ll find beers for 5 or 6 real.

ACCOMMODATION There are hostels for maybe 25 to 30 real per night.

Hotels are obviously more expensive, but outside Rio, prices drop.

SEE braziltravelinformation.com.

TNT online For a full travel guide on Brazil go to tntmagazine.com/travel/

Flamboyant: dress up for Carnival

Swathes of Rio are taken over by the procession as the festivities continue for much of the night.

Rio’s famous Copacabana Beach is on of the centre-points for Carnival, with thousands letting loose along the 4km beachfront.

The world’s most famous party is just one month away.

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3 Ways to Save & Croatia Sailing

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EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

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Our Tour Managers manage all the details (not you) so you’ll get the most of your trip. We’ve also organised a load of amazing optional activities for you to try & we’ve got you the best rates available.

Extraordinary service\ The biggest, best trained & most committed to delivering amazing experiences including 100 locally based crew across Europe

The experience of a lifetime\ What does this all add up to? The most amazing travel experience tailored specifically for you.

TERMS & CONDITIONS: * Excludes Mediterranean Cruises and Croatia Cruising. Must be booked and paid in full 28 Feb 2011. New bookings only. Not combinable with any other offer. Subject to availability. Save up to £368 based on discount on Ultimate European + Egypt in high season. Discount not applicable to food funds, port taxes & gratuities.

More deals online contiki.com/lates

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ON THE GO ASSURANCE BOOK WITH CONFIDENCE - ABTA, ATOL AND AITO BONDED - INVALUABLE!

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ANZAC 2011SPECIALISTS WITH THE

Short & Sweet PURE ANZAC - 4 days ANZAC DIGGER - 5 days

See more of Turkey!

ANZAC UNCOVERED - 6 days ANZAC COO-EE - 8 days ANZAC BONZER - 11 days ANZAC COBBER - 14 days

Why ON THE GO for ANZAC Day? • We’re Aussies and Kiwi’s – we care about ANZAC! With offices in London, you can drop in to see our friendly staff who have been to ANZAC day themselves.

• We are ABTA, ATOL & AITO bonded, meaning our quality is guaranteed and your money is 100% protected.

£249 £299

• We use quality 4 star western standard hotels.

£399 £449 £599 £699

• We offer an excellent choice of tours from 4-14 days to suit all budgets. PLUS you can combine Egypt with ANZAC and see it all in one hit – great value!

Combine ANZAC with Egypt

GALLIPOLI & GIZA - 12 days £599 ANZAC & ANCIENT EGYPT - 16 days £749

• We have the best guides – handpicked by us and contracted a year in advance.

• Many of our tours include our exclusive, waterside ANZAC BBQ – offering you a good feed and chilled beer to take you into the night prior to the ANZAC day service.

• With a variety of tour start dates you don’t need to pay top dollar for your flights. Our well-timed tours make the most of weekends and public holidays.

• Complimentary airport arrival transfers from any Istanbul airport on each and every tour.

• No mandatory single supplements or local payments on any of our ANZAC tours.

• We offer unbeatable ON THE GO quality throughout – we always deliver what we promise!

Secure your booking today with a £100 deposit As a testament to our quality of tours check out onthegotours.com, find us on facebook.com/onthegotours or follow us on twitter.com/On_The_Go_Tours and read what our previous ANZAC travellers have to say. Here’s one for starters...

In recognition of the effort the Commonwealth War Graves Commission undertakes at Gallipoli and other memorial sites ON THE GO are proud to make a donation to this organisation on your behalf for every ANZAC package booked – see www.cwgc.org

“YoBIG THANKS TO ALL ON THE GO

STAFF! u guys rock, I have never experienced su organised and fun tour as the Gallipoli ch a well tour I am just back from. I ha ve but you guys are by been on quite a few tours far the most organ ised I have ever experienced. Ke ep recommending you up the good work. I will be to all my mates. Ch eers!”

Be n Symons, May 20

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ONTHEGOTOURS.COM

AFRICA CHINA EGYPT INDIA RUSSIA SOUTH AMERICA JORDAN HIMALAYAS MOROCCO CROATIA TURKEY SRI LANKA ANTARCTICA

020 7371 1113

ON THE GO TOURS, 68 NORTH END ROAD, WEST KENSINGTON, LONDON W14 9EP

ON THE GO ADVISORS AVAILABLE 9AM - 9PM

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TOURS

ON THE GO have over 12 years experience of operating ANZAC day tours. We know how important this day is to you and each year our teams from the UK and Australia attend this event ensuring our tours run smoothly.

93

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PAMPLONA TOURS

94

SPAIN’S CRAZY RUNNING OF THE BULLS!

ANZAC DAY JOIN OUR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED ANZAC TOURS TNT D BIR EARLY UNT DISCO FOR CALL 0 OFF!

£2

PAMPLONA – CAMPING:

The closest, biggest & best party campsite in Pamplona!!

■ 4 Days £159 ■ 5 Days £174 ■ 6 Days £189 ✔ Full shuttle service ✔ Less than 10 mins into town ✔ Live band, DJs, swimming pool, bar, kiosk, restaurant ✔ Opening Ceremony, Middle W/E & Closing Ceremony

SAN SEBASTIAN – CAMPING & HOSTEL: The ideal mix of sun, sand, sea, sangria... & bulls!!!

■ Camping – 4 Days £159, 5 Days £174, 6 Days £189 ■ Hostel - 4 Days £239 ✔ Magical beaches ✔ Private transfers into Pamplona

PAMPLONA – HOTEL: 5-8 JUL £329 ✔ Luxury hotel accommodation ✔ Do it in style!

COMBO TOURS: ■ Barca Bulls Fiesta ■ San Seb + Pamps ■ Pamps + Ibiza

2-8 JUL £329 3-8 or 5-10 JUL £239 5-11 JUL £349

COACH TOURS: 6, 7 & 8 Day Tours ex-London fr £269 TRANSFERS also available to/from Barcelona, Bilbao, Madrid, Rock Wercher & Lagos!

RUGBY LEAGUE DON’T MISS THE DRAGONS IN THE WORLD CLUB CHALLENGE! ■ St George v Wigan SUN 27 FEB £119 ✔ Return coach ✔ Saints supporter t-shirt ✔ Pre & after match parties ✔ 3 star hotel ✔ Incredible English RL atmosphere

ST PADDY’S DAY DUBLIN’S BIGGEST PARTY OF THE YEAR! ■ Hostel Tour 16-18 MAR £129 ✔ Street Parades ✔ Guinness Brewery ✔ Parties

CROATIA SAILING SPEND 7 AMAZING NIGHTS SAILING IN CROATIA ON FANATICS AWESOME CHARTER BOATS ■ 7 Nights

4 JUN-17 SEP fr £409

We sail Croatia’s best islands & route! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska ✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Trstenik ✔ Korcula ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac

GALLIPOLI TOURS

✔ Experienced Fanatics Anzac Day Rep on every coach ✔ Professional Turkish Tour Guide on every coach ✔ Fanatics hoodie + t-shirt (choose gold or black) ■ 3 DAY TOUR 24-26 APR £199 ■ 4 DAY TOUR 23-26 APR £239 ■ 5 DAY TOUR 22-26 APR £279 ■ 9 DAY TOUR 18-26 APR / 23 APR-1 MAY £399 ■ 16 DAY TOUR 11-26 APR / 23 APR-8 MAY £599

WESTERN FRONT TOUR WWI French & Belgian battlefields + Anzac Day services ✔ The Somme ✔ Villers-Bretonneaux ✔ Ypres ✔ Fromelles EUROSTAR TOUR 23-25 APR £279 (or Make Own Way £219) ✔ Dep London Easter Saturday, Return Easter Monday

SKI WEEKS PARTY IN THE FRENCH ALPS DURING SCHOOL HOL’S! ■ SKI-FEB Risoul 18-26 FEB All-inclusive £719 ■ SKI BUNNY Alpe d’Huez 8-16 APR All-inclusive £629 ✔ Return coach ✔ Apartment accom ✔ Lift Pass ✔ Ski/board hire ✔ Breakfast & dinner daily

FOOTBALL EXPERIENCE THE PASSION OF THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE!

EPL RETURN COACH DAY TOURS ■ Man Utd v Fulham @ Old Trafford SAT 9 APR FULHAM FC HOME MATCHES ■ Fulham FC v Bolton/Wigan 3pm SUN 20 FEB ■ Fulham FC v Blackburn 3pm SAT 5 MAR

£99 £25 £29

GREEK ISLANDS GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 DAYS £399 ■ 11 DAYS £489

Tours start in Athens every Saturday JUN-SEP ✔ Mykonos ✔ Ios ✔ Santorini ✔ Athens ✔ Accom ✔ Ferries ✔ Breakfast ✔ Start/End Athens

MORE TOURS ■ PALIO SIENA 3 Nights Hostel ■ LA TOMATINA Hotel, Hostel or Camping ■ OKTOBERFEST, Hostel or Camping

£149 fr£139 fr£99

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

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Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm

DON’T BE FOOLED - CHECK FOR LOCAL PAYMENTS!

ON THE GO ASSURANCE

Many companies don’t show compulsory local payments they collect on top of entrance fees and tipping. Be sure to add this in when comparing prices.

TRAVEL

AFRICA WILDLIFE, SCENERY, CULTURE & ADRENALINE

£430 £529 £720 £729

KILIMANJARO - 8 days £949 BIG FIVE EXPLORER - 36 days £1385 KENYA TO CAPE - 43 days £1419 GREAT AFRICAN EXPEDITION - 57 days £1979

ASK ABOUT OUR FREE 3-DAY SAFARI IN THE MASAI MARA OR HWANGE NATIONAL PARK

JORDAN

DEAD SEA, PETRA, WADI RUM,RED SEA!

Seasonal supplements may apply

Why ON THE GO are number #1 for Group Tours • • • • • • • •

ABTA, AITO, ATOL - 100% financial protection Well located 3-5 star accommodation Excellent enthusiastic local guides No compulsory ‘single supplement’ No ‘local payment’ Year-round guaranteed departures Taking you off the beaten track Great Christmas and New Year tours

£599 £779 £949 £1249 £1599

PASSAGE TO PETRA - 6 days TOTALLY JORDAN - 8 days ROAD TO JORDAN - 16 days ARABIAN HIGHWAY - 11 days ROAD TO DAMASCUS - 14 days

“COULDN’T FAULT

A

THING! Petra, the cooking ni gh Sea, Dead Sea, Dam t, Wadi Rum, Red ascus ... all amazing, wish I could do it al l ag Thanks to Ali our fa ain! bulous guide!”

Je nny Otterhead

Don’t just take our word for why we’re number #1 for group tours – join us on Facebook to interact with past travellers and see what they have to say about their holidays – you could even snap up a special offer! JOIN US at www.facebook.com/onthegotours

CALL OR GO ONLINE FOR OUR BROCHURE ONTHEGOTOURS.COM ABTA, AITO AND ATOL PROTECTED

AFRICA CHINA EGYPT INDIA RUSSIA SOUTH AMERICA JORDAN HIMALAYAS MOROCCO CROATIA TURKEY SRI LANKA ANTARCTICA

020 7371 1113

ON THE GO TOURS, 68 NORTH END ROAD, WEST KENSINGTON, LONDON W14 9EP

ON THE GO ADVISORS AVAILABLE 9AM - 9PM

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GORILLAS IN THE MIST - 6 days ELEPHANTS & FALLS - 9 days GORILLA & GAME TREK - 15 days WILDLIFE EXPRESS - 22 days

95

TRAVEL TOURS

96

Award-winning adventure travel...

ue Quality, value & security....

Europe

Asia & Russia

From 7 to 93 days, we have over 20 tours through Eastern Europe.

From 7 to 48 days, we have over 39 tours through Asia.

Jewels of Croatia £610

Taj Mahal & Tigers £460

8 Days - Explore the cultural and natural highlights of Croatia’s cities and islands on this spectacular European adventure.

11 days - Let your senses be tantlised, your emotions tested and your spirit lifted as you embrace India.

Middle East & North Africa

East & Southern Africa

• • • • • • • •

From 7 to 37 days, we have over 13 tours through the Middle East & North Africa.

Morocco Explored £440 8 days - Discover the magic of Morocco’s minarets and medinas on this amazing North African adventure.

From 9 to 64 days, we have over 80 tours through East & Southern Africa.

Smaller group sizes than most tour companies Fully escorted by passionate tour leaders Custom-built vehicles for overland tours Many enterance fees included Major sites included No single supplements No peak season supplements Your tour is AITO protected

Zanzibar to Vic Falls £650

Special Discounts

14 days - Relax on the beautiful Spice Island of Zanzibar before heading overland to the mighty Victoria Falls.

Combine any three of our everyday discounts to receive up to 15% OFF any of our group tours!*

Latin America From 7 to 171 days, we have over 107 tours through Latin America.

Panoramic Peru £1,240 15 days - Includes trekking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, Nazca Lines, Colca Canyon, Pisco, Arequipa, Cuzco and internal flights.

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*Terms & conditions apply. See website for details.

Prices are land only and do not include international flights.

ON THE GO ASSURANCE

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RUSSIA

97

£249 £299 £429

SIMPLY ST. PETE’S - 4 days MOOD FOR MOSCOW - 4 days VODKA SHOT - 6 days

BACK IN THE USSR - 7 days £629 RUSSIAN REVOLUTION - 9 days £699 ROUTE OF THE ROMANOVS - 10 days £1149

RUSSIA & TRANS-SIBERIAN HIGHLIGHTS FOR 2011!

Night at the Museum - May Visit the museums and art galleries until the early hours of the morning

Goodbye USSR - Aug & Dec Take a specialist tour learning about two major events of Russian history

RED EXPRESS - 10 days GENGHIS KHAN - 13 days HIGHWAY TO CHINA - 15 days BIG TICKET - 19 days

£799 THE LEGENDARY £999 £1349 £1799

TRANS-SIBERIAN RAILWAY

Why ON THE GO are number #1 for Group Tours • • • • • • • •

ABTA, AITO, ATOL - 100% financial protection Well located 3-5 star accommodation Excellent enthusiastic local guides No compulsory ‘single supplement’ No ‘local payment’ Year-round guaranteed departures Taking you off the beaten track Great Christmas and New Year tours

Route of the Romanovs - Mar-Dec Check out St Petes & Moscow then ride the Trans-Siberian to Yekaterinburg

Seasonal supplements may apply

“OLGA WAS AN EXCE

LL

ENT GUIDE! She went way abov e what was expected , very knowledgeabl e as well as telling us all about Russian hi everyday life. I am ve story, culture and ry whole experience. Th pleased with the anks on the go!”

Tary n D, Jun 2010

Don’t just take our word for why we’re number #1 for group tours – join us on Facebook to interact with past travellers and see what they have to say about their holidays – you could even snap up a special offer! JOIN US at www.facebook.com/onthegotours

CALL OR GO ONLINE FOR OUR BROCHURE ONTHEGOTOURS.COM ABTA, AITO AND ATOL PROTECTED

AFRICA CHINA EGYPT INDIA RUSSIA SOUTH AMERICA JORDAN HIMALAYAS MOROCCO CROATIA TURKEY SRI LANKA ANTARCTICA

020 7371 1113

ON THE GO TOURS, 68 NORTH END ROAD, WEST KENSINGTON, LONDON W14 9EP

ON THE GO ADVISORS AVAILABLE 9AM - 9PM

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TOURS

GO BEHIND THE IRON CURTAIN AND DISCOVER PUKKA RUSSIA

TRAVEL

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS DAY TRIPS

WEEKEND BREAKS

¸ Sat 26th Feb: York £49 or the Cotswolds £45

AMSTERDAM & BRUGGE BUDGET

¸ Sat 5th Mar: Cambridge £45

Departs: 25th Feb,11th Mar

¸ Sat 12th Mar: A day in Wales or York £49

EDINBURGH BY RAIL

£165

Departs: 18th Feb,18th Mar, 8th April, 17th June

PLUS

PARIS BY EUROSTAR

Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY Now just £44 with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Bath’s included!

£229

Departs: 4th Mar

HOLLAND & BELGIUM

Windsor, Eton & Oxford EVERY Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday Only £45

£189

Departs: 18th March

PARIS BY EUROSTAR - VALENTINES WEEKEND

TOURS

98

£189

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Friday 11th - Sunday 13th Feb £284 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Treat your loved one (or yourself!) to a weekend away in the most romantic city on earth. FINAL SPOTS SELLING NOW!

LUXURY MINI COACH TOURS

OVERNIGHT TOURS

No more than 15 people with customer specified pick ups in zone 1 Only

Overnight Hilton Northern England (Peak District & York) Departs: Sat 12th February £109 Includes overnight accommodation at the Hilton Hotel Bradford (buffet breakfast & dinner included!) Luxury coach travel throughout. Panoramic sightseeing tour of the Peak District & York. Services of an Anderson Tour Manager.

Overnight Hilton Southern England (Oxford, Bath & Stonehenge) Departs: 19th Feb, 12th Mar, 9th April Tick of the 3 must see destinations all in one weekend whilst spending the night in luxury at the Hilton Hotel which includes a scrumptious buffet diner on arrival & buffet breakfast in the morning.

£65

¸ EVERYDAY - Oxford, Stratford & Cotswolds ¸ EVERYDAY - Stonehenge, Glasto, Avebury & Chalice Well ¸ EVERY SATURDAY & SUNDAY - Leeds Castle, Canterbury & White Cliffs of Dover

BOOK ONLINE AT:

www.andersontours.co.uk or call 0207 436 9304 Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

Tour Search by ;OPUR :R`ZJHUULY )\[ MVY ;V\YZ

^^^ I\NIP[[LU JVT

Download Tour De als iPhone App now !

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FIND US ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER

Anderson Tours is fully bonded

by Client Trust Account

ON THE GO ASSURANCE

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TRAVEL

MOROCCO

99

MOUNTAINS, DESERTS, COAST & SOUKS!

TOURS

MARRAKECH & BEYOND - 8 days MARRAKECH, SAHARA & SURF - 11 days CAMELS, SOUKS & KASBAHS - 15 days MIGRATION OF THE BERBER - 11 days

£549 £749 £799 £799

YEAR-ROUND TOURS TO MOROCCO - CAMEL SAFARIS, SKIING, SURFING AND TREKKING

TURKEY

ISTANBUL, ANZAC COVE, CAPPADOCIA & SUMMER SAILING AEGEAN EXPLORER - 7 days TURKEY UNPLUGGED - 10 days

£399 £499

REMEMBRANCE DAY - 9 days TURKEY DISCOVERED - 14 days

£599 £849

Seasonal supplements may apply

Why ON THE GO are number #1 for Group Tours • • • • • • • •

ABTA, AITO, ATOL - 100% financial protection Well located 3-5 star accommodation Excellent enthusiastic local guides No compulsory ‘single supplement’ No ‘local payment’ Year-round guaranteed departures Taking you off the beaten track Great Christmas and New Year tours

“THIS WAS MY THIR THE GO!

D TRIP WITH ON

I continue to be extr em structure, organiza ely satisfied with their tion particularly apprec and execution and iate the quality of th e tour guides and the amou nt I have recommende of information provided. d you many times!”

Sean Pickering

Don’t just take our word for why we’re number #1 for group tours – join us on Facebook to interact with past travellers and see what they have to say about their holidays – you could even snap up a special offer! JOIN US at www.facebook.com/onthegotours

CALL OR GO ONLINE FOR OUR BROCHURE ONTHEGOTOURS.COM ABTA, AITO AND ATOL PROTECTED

AFRICA CHINA EGYPT INDIA RUSSIA SOUTH AMERICA JORDAN HIMALAYAS MOROCCO CROATIA TURKEY SRI LANKA ANTARCTICA

020 7371 1113

ON THE GO TOURS, 68 NORTH END ROAD, WEST KENSINGTON, LONDON W14 9EP

ON THE GO ADVISORS AVAILABLE 9AM - 9PM

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100

TM

HAPPY NEW YEAR

ADVENTURE WEEKEND PARTIES IN WALES We leave from West London every Friday evening at 6:30pm.

Our trips are great for groups of mates, singles or couples.

HORSE RIDING (ALL DAY) over the Brecon Beacons national park, suitable for first timers or experienced. We ride over mountains and ancient Roman bridleways, it’s the best ride in the UK, with great scenery. The sore ass is on us and guaranteed, but we’ll put muscle soak in the hot tub for you. £195 HILL WALKING (map supplied but unguided) or you can just CHILL, £135. The accommodation has double rooms, dorms & open log fire.

It also has a huge covered hot tub next to a river with music. At night you can party all you like and no need to get up early on Sunday (big late breakfast) Our food is simply the best, we even make bread and roast our own coffee. So if you would like to relax & escape London then give us a call on 01874 636170 open till 10pm.

Included in all prices are return transport, 2 nights accommodation, all food and activity. There are no hidden extras.

Email: info@bushwakkers.co.uk website: www.bushwakkers.co.uk Perfect for private parties for any reason.

(We are fully qualified and all legalities are in place so no wukking furries)

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ANZAC 2011

101

4 DAYS

Absolute ANZAC

ยฃ199

TOURS

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9 DAYS

ANZAC in focus QLJKWV VWDU KRWHO Z EUHDNIDVW ศ $1=$& VHUYLFH ศ .XVDGDVL ศ (SKHVXV ศ 3DPPXNDOH WKHUPDO SRROV

ยฃ429

from

ANZAC & Egypt Combo - 12 & 16 days

ยฃ399

&RPELQH $1=$& GD\ DQG (J\SW DOO LQ RQH KLW DQG PDNH WKH PRVW RI WKH $SULO 0D\ %DQN KROLGD\V

A ( & 1 ( ' Q 1 2 & + ,; 7 รง ย

ย 12 years experience of taking Aussies and Kiwis to ANZAC day we get you to ANZAC Cove to grab a prime spot on the lawn great friendly tour leaders on hand that know their stuff

Egypt

Egyptian Express: #s'$9< )=20 ย #

*UHDW VWDU KRWHOV &DLUR 1XELDQ GLQQHU 3\UDPLGV PXVHXP /X[RU QLJKWV 1LOH )HOXFFD GRQNH\ ULGLQJ .RP 2PER (GIX .DUQDN WHPSOH 9DOOH\ RI WKH .LQJV

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free time to explore the battle๏ฌ elds and war grave

Summer tours & festivals!

MOROCCO99

11 DAYS ยฃ7

TURKEY TOURS FROM ยฃ359

EUROPE FESTIVALS FROM ยฃ169

P: 020 7471 6400 or visit www.thegobus.com tntmagazine.com

TRAVEL TOURS

102

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Saturday 19 March 2011 Earls Court Exhibition Centre

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general jobs | trades + labour | visas | tax | health teaching

care work

TEACHERS: AFTER-SCHOOL/HOLIDAY WORK

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chefs

Supporting vibrant, active Earn adults with a spinal injury per week in their own homes.

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LIVE-IN JOBS. Call Dee Cooper for today's vacancies in Pubs & Hotels across the UK. New jobs available now for couples and singles. Telephone: 01764670001.

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Re-opening on March 14 following a £15 million makeover, the Radisson Edwardian Mercer Street is a Covent Garden landmark set to be one of London’s most distinctive new hotels. A hotel within a village within a city, it effortlessly blends with the boutique appeal of its neighbourhood at the heart of the West End. We are currently recruiting for enthusiastic, dynamic, customer service focused and friendly staff to join our team;• Restaurant & Bar Team Leaders • Restaurant Waiting staff - Full time • Host/ess - Part time The ideal candidates will have a minimum of one year’s within a similar role.

If you posses the qualities we are looking for then please email your CV to: recruitment@radisson.com Quoting reference TNT07/11.

PROFESSIONAL CHEF DE PARTIES & ABOVE REQUIRED

Casual/ Freelance and Permanent Chef De Parties Needed for Event Caterers/4-5 Star Hotels/Restaurants. £9 - £15 per hour ¸Ltd Company and Self Employed Welcome ¸Weekly Pay ¸Varied Hours ¸Ongoing Work CV, Level 2 Hyg Cert.

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general STAFF WANTED: Friendly, Sporty persons for Oxford St. sports shop.

Retail experience and general sports knowledge and interest essential.

Immediate start. sean@pro-elitesportswear.com

WORKSHOP MANAGER / Bike Mechanic reqd for busy bicycle store in Isleworth, West London.

Candidate must have previous exp.

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www.heatlondon.com

general employment Orb360 - Brighton’s biggest extreme activity venue

Operations Manager £ to 25,000 FTC

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We have over 33 years experience in placing nurses and carers in homecare 95 Heath St Hampstead, NW3 6SS (on Northern line - tube)

www.colvin-nursing.co.uk We are an equal opportunities company.

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Orb360 operate the countries largest Zorbing park, mountain boarding and biking and power kiting and also bushcraft school from our stunning venue in Brighton.

Due to expansion we are keen to recruit an experienced operations manager.

Managing large crew, all aspects of operations, maintenance and customer experience with upto 400 visitors daily.

Immediate start for the right candidate. Applicants must demonstrate previous management experience and be a highly motivated and organised individual.

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CLASSIFIEDS

trades + labour

112

health services

DENNIS ADAMS INTERIORS LIMITED

AUSSIE/KIWI DENTISTS

Requires Tapers And Jointers.

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Dr. Peter Mendelsohn 31 Carnaby Street London W1 Tel: 020 7734 6421 Web:

Email: dailimited1@aol.com

WANTED FULLY QUALIFIED QUANTITY SURVEYORS REQUIRED MUST HAVE AT LEAST 5 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN COMMERCIAL AND SHOP FIT OUT. Please send your C.V including a covering letter to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

WANTED HIGHLY SKILLED & EXPERIENCED SITE MANAGERS, CARPENTERS, PAINTERS, LABOURERS & DRYLINERS. Please send your C.V. including copies of CIS card, CSCS card and any Trade Certificates to: recruitment@fitoutuk.com or Fax 0208 963 6901

Experienced Tractor Drivers, Milkers & Winter Stockman wanted for Farm and Rural work all over UK.

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tax, visas & immigration

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renting / hostels / hotels CANADA WATER House share.

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113

www.mapesburyhostel.co.uk GREAT DEAL OF THE WEEK

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Hot guy at Billabong Wimbledon on Australia Day:

114

You (long blond hair, blue-ish checked shirt, Australia headband, lingering at the end of the bar) – omg! There were sparks. Well, at least I was sparkling! Every attempt of drawing your attention failed, this is my last attempt. If you’re single and up for more sparks, just contact me! Stellina. See tntmagazine.com/seeking.

T-Square crew: VK Clare!!

Missing you, the Tamarisk Square crew, dirty bird and the She Bu Walkie like crazy!!

Let the countdown begin.

Seven weeks until we are partying on the Gold Coast!!

See you soon!! Lozza.

Kylie Anderson: Hi Kylie, it’s Aaron here who you met in Mykonos back in August last year. I was just going through the pics from the trip and remembered how much fun we had. I’ve lost my phone with your number but if you’d like to meet up again, then please get in touch. Would be cool to see you again. Email aaron vandermullen@gmail.com.

Farewell Lomas and Vikki:

Lomas your time has come to hand over the reigns as the “power hour king”. Somehow Vikki has managed to tame you and now it’s time for you to grow old together. We’ve had some sweet times, mate and I’m sure more will follow.

Bring on the wedding, babies and beers on the beach.

All the best guys, Gav and the crew.

Lost beanie: My favourite red beanie (knitted with a pompom) went AWOL on

tntmagazine.com

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com

the cold and lonely night of Saturday, January 22. Last seen in Balham between B@1, and the Regent. It was love at first sight and would make you happy by just looking at it.

Please return if found, because true love doesn’t come around that often. See tntmagazine. com/seeking.

Rosetta, the pretty Italian girl with the angel tattoo at Waxy’s in Leicester Square on Thursday, January 27: You

asked me for a ciggy and I told you I just had quit. Well, I’ve failed and I’m back to smoking again. I think you were a bad influence on me. Want to meet up for a fag and a drink sometime? Keen to get to know you better. Email razisback@ hotmail.com. Raz. Farewell Stacey baby: What can we say? It sucks you are leaving. London will not be the same without you and the adventures we have all shared with you. From The Reddy to Seed City and all your dirty stories in between, no one does it better than you. See you back in NZ all knocked up to an 18year-old from the Tron and calling your first child Staffy.

Love you babe, don’t go

changing and growing up too much. xo Birdhouse: Here is my ultra lameo message in the TNT to let you know how much I love you, how amazing you are and how our one year together has been the best I’ve ever had.

Happy anniversary! Can’t wait to nest with you later my Bird hehe. Love always, Aleks xxx Saffa guy, Anton from Durban:

We met at Wimbledon Slug on Saturday, January 22. You bought me and my friend Jaeger Bombs, and we had a boogie on the dancefloor.

I thought you were really cute and I was hoping to get your number, but my friend received some bad news so I had to take her home and left without saying goodbye :-( I hope you see this. From, the blonde girl in the blue top.

Nicole. Email antonattheslug@ hotmail.com.

Bye-bye Horn House: Well, the time has come for me to head back to the land Down Under and I just wanted to say a big goodbye to the Horn House.

Face, Turks, Disco, T-bag and Blood! You guys are amazing and I am going to miss you like a fat kid misses cake, but

Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

not the cake Disco threw on the floor and danced in!

I’m going to miss our little adventures, negotiations of footy or Teen Mom, my daily cuddles from Disco! But I’m sure you won’t miss my moodiness (ha). Robdawg, I’ll see you in a month with that crazy wink, Geeza, I’ll see you on the other side! Dani, I’ll see you Miami b!@tch :-) Love you all and remember, I like turtles. Love Kyme Kay. Reply to: ‘Looking To Meet New People’: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,

I’m a 23-year-old Indian guy.

I’m an engineer, and have been in the UK for one month. I also wanna go holidaying in Europe – same thoughts.

Ankush. See tntmagazine. com/seeking.

You’re so little and cute and blonde ..: Looks like we made

it. Look how far we’ve come my baby. We mighta took the long way, we knew we’d get there someday. My words ... honestly :-) Amie, I’m so happy to be heading Down Under on, I mean, with you. We’ve been through some big adventures but there are bigger ones around the corner. Now bring on that white wedding!!! Love you, sexy bum xox Goodbye London: Goodbye Glycena Road, our swanky flat on Lavender Hill and KFC Towers (you too Jeny). To all the teachers I have annoyed I’m sorry, it was my job. The TP boys you will be sorely missed.

Dazzle, Alex, Em, (my English) Rose, Dan, Irish Matt and my own personal Barbie Aims, you guys made my shared living experience awesome.

‘Remember, Pants Up Haydn!!!’ I’ll miss you all.

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