TNT Magazine / Issue 1447 by TNT Magazine

Live, Work & Travel

May 23-29 2011 Issue 1447 tntmagazine.com

MAGICAL MALAWI

!S I-BN W A A BA A

KETS RUGBY TIC FOR FOUR

An eco-trip into the wilds of Africa

BOATERS & BOLLINGER

Lord it up in style at this summer’s posh events

£1 where sold

MIAOW!

erly b im K n o s a e r L A E R e Th Wyatt left Pussycat Dolls

■ STRAIGHT SHOOTERS: PAPARAZZI GUIDE TO CELEB-SPOTTING IN LONDON

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

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FREEPHONE 0800 085 0355 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

this week May 23-29 / Issue 1447 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Are you guilty of reading showbiz magazines? Obsessed by Kate Moss’s every move? Then turn to P14 as we tap London’s paparazzi for an insider’s guide to getting the perfect celebrity snap. From gutter press to posh festivals, on P10 you’ll find a guide to this summer’s more elite events. Ex-Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt gets her claws out on P30. Then on P70, discover how you can enjoy a guilt-free trip to Malawi. Happy reading!

70 Lake Malawi: your own personal David Attenborough documentary

55 TRAVEL

CAROL DRIVER

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 GLAM UP: The best of London’s ‘posh’ summer festivals 12 Food & Drink 14 SNAP HAPPY: Being part of the paparazzi in London 16 Spotted 18 Silly Buggers

21 ENTERTAINMENT

10 Frock up for London’s most stylish festivals

21 22 23 24 25

Celebrity News TNT Life 36 NEWS & SPORT Look Who’s Talking: Eddie Halliwell 36 World News Cinema 38 SCREEN TO THE DOCK: Do violent Culture films lead to a violent society? 41 Opinion: Chavs vs Toffs 42 Sport Of The Week 26 MUSIC & CLUBS 45 Sport view: The EPL provides 26 Music 46 HARDEST OF THE HARD: The Top 30 MEOW: Former Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt on her new projects 10 State Of Origin legends 32 Music Listings 34 Clubbing Listings 48 CAREERS & MONEY 35 Clubbing 48 Job Of The Week 49 Careers 50 FUN IN THE SUN: Secure work as a summer temp in London 52 Money

55 Global Vision 56 COAST WITH THE MOST: Test your fitness around Cornwall 58 Late Deals 61 TNTT Weekender: Munich 62 Hotshots 64 ON THE GO: Cyprus has an adventure waiting for you 66 Travel Tips 67 Travel News 68 On The Road 69 Top Five 70 A LAKE LESS ORDINARY: Guilt-free travel around Lake Malawi

102 CLASSIFIEDS 102 Freight 108 Classifieds 113 Accomodation 56 Cornwall’s rugged coastline will test and reward you

REGULARS

30 This cat’s got claws: Kimberly Wyatt

4 6 42 114

Letters Wins Wins Desperately Seeking

46 Is Andrew Johns the number one Origin legend?

YOUR SAY... EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Content editors: Travel Janine Kelso Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Features/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent Sub-editor Jahn Vannisselroy

Tell us what you think at facebook.com/ tntmag or tweet @tntmagazine

Death row cruelty leaves bad taste

I went for some extremely tasty seafood in a restaurant by the Thames last night but was disturbed, and am still haunted today, by the plight of the poor claw-tied (live) lobster sitting on a bed of ice awaiting his fate. “He was a bit more lively last night,” said the waiter. “I think he’s got stage fright.” Apparently the lobster has been moved from tank to ice-bed for a few days as no one had yet chosen him for their dinner. I eat seafood but still find this sort of prolonged suffering for any creature unacceptable. If he hadn’t been so expensive, I’d have bought him and launched him into the Thames for a last break at freedom. Beth, Finsbury Park

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Astrid Breacker Design and production executives Justine Mackay | Laura Doyle Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified sales manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison Eddie Clinton | Stuart Shirra Michael Darrington | Donovan Smith Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Head of marketing and events Jim Zambrano Marketing and events executive Domenica Ribaudo Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill Social media co-ordinator Daniel Cape ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Ewa Marks TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst TNT Publishing Ltd Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images PUBLISHER

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GOOD-TIME VENUES

BAD BOYS GET CAUGHT

I know it is a bit tacky, but we are all here in London to have fun right? So what are the best clubs to get an easy pull? I have been to The Redback in Acton Town, and that place is pretty good (if a little young, I am 28, you see). Anyone know any other spots in London, where most people attend for the common purpose of hooking-up? SW2 Aussie, tntmagazine.com

Are powerful men with a sense of entitlemnent finally getting their comeuppance? First IMF boss Dominique Strauss-Kahn is arrested for allegedly sexually assaulting a chamber-maid. It smacks of a classic case of the powerful trying to take advantage of someone much further down the food chain. Then Arnie is rumbled for his double life with his housekeeper and their child. Hats off to him for keeping the mini-Terminator a secret, but really, do men who get up to this sort of stuff actually believe they are going to get away with this stuff? Bella, Eltham

I’m writing in response to last week’s published letter by R Doer who complained about offensive language in TNT. Get a life, mate! I love a bit of colourful and raunchy language – and was pleased to see TNT delivered lashings of edgy features to titillate readers in last week’s issue. There were erotic book clubs and secret sexy societies. I’m off for a cold shower now. Lexie, via email

NEXT WEEK IN

KEEP ‘EM COMING TNT TNT, your magazine has given me a bright point in my week. As a supply teacher in London, I have not been getting much work, thus not allowing me to afford to travel.

London

I must say, things have been pretty depressing. But come Monday morning, I jump out of bed and grab the latest TNT Magazine and begin dreaming of my next trip abroad. Emily Parkin, tntmagazine.com

Your tweets to @tntmagazine @LostYouth: I’m a big fan of @tntmagazine I have been since 1995. @kiwigirluk: parents want to catch train between Budapest & Krakow in Oct. Is it practical? My polish hubby says they’re deluded

WIN!

letters@tntmagazine.com

letters@tntmagazine.com Letter of the week wins a three-day tour of Ireland from Shamrocker (shamockeradventures.com), valued at £119. Letters may be edited. Prize is not transferable. Your Say is a reader forum and does not represent the opinions of TNT or its staff.

Travel

Cocktail challenge

Festival towns

TNT Images

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

‘Run, Lobby, run’

LOVE YOU LONGTIME

LETTER OF THE WEEK

LONDON LIFE

TNT’S FUNNY FARE

‘You can only pass if you say the magic word’

PREVIEW: A DORIANS DINNER Mind you don’t get indigestion as you’re bound to be in stitches at London’s first comedy supperclub. Award-winning comedians, The Marvellous Dorians, will be generating the laughs with their improvised act while guests enjoy a three-course “feen deening” experience. Expect a combination of incompetence, absurdity, cabaret and spontaneous interaction between the restaurateurs and diners. The Marvellous Dorians have been declared as

TNT Images

Interview

“people set to define the next generation” by Vogue. They chose their name as they were both likened to Dorian Gray by ex-girlfriends because of their good looks and “black hearts”. The duo said: “They say laughter is the best medicine. They lied. All you ever need is two paracetamol taken with a meal, preferably A Dorians Dinner.” Gourmet giggles guaranteed. CAROL DRIVER

» The Mission Room, 26 Exmouth Market, EC1R 4Q (themarvellousdorians.com) Angel. June 2-3. £25

Big Trip

Rose Byrne

Bosnia & Croatia

WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

A TABLE FOR TEN IN THE ASCOT PAVILION Enjoy an amazing day out at Ascot

As Ascot Racecourse celebrates its 300th anniversary, there has never been a more exciting time to visit the world’s most famous racecourse. For three centuries, Ascot Racecourse has been synonymous with tradition, pageantry, fashion and style coupled with some of the greatest racing the world has ever seen. Celebrations reach their peak at Royal Ascot 2011 - the must-do event of the British social calendar. TNT has teamed up with the Berkshire track to offer you an exquisite prize of a table for ten in the Ascot Pavilion, worth more than £2000, on Saturday June 18. The prize includes: grandstand admission tickets, admission tickets, Pimm’s and champagne reception, threecourse luncheon and more.

» See ascot. co.uk or call 0870 727 1234

WIN MORE 4 11 16 24 35 62 62 66 68

Ireland tour Hampton Court Palace Festival tickets Guidebooks Cinema tickets Film DVD A three-day tour of Scotland Photography course Cash and guidebooks A trip to Bath and Stonehenge

PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 1442: LAFF passes: Zaid Malik TNT 1443: Southern Sounds VIP tickets (first draw): Daniel Gray

THE GREATEST RACE MEETING IN THE WORLD Tickets from £19. Fine dining packages from £245.

To book, call 0870 727 1234 or visit ascot.co.uk Quote TNT to receive 25% off advance tickets. Photography: Simon Procter

Attire: Vivienne Westwood

Millinery: Stephen Jones

LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

RHS CHELSEA FLOWER SHOW FROM £15 WHAT: It’s the world’s premier gardening event and one of the bookends in the social calendar that heralds the arrival of summer. Most years, about 150,000 people turn up, ensuring the grounds of the hospital, where the show is staged, are teeming. WHEN: May 24-28 DO IT BECAUSE: You don’t have to be obsessed with prizewinning orchids to enjoy a pleasant stroll past the various sweet-smelling stalls. Fingers crossed it doesn’t rain.

» Royal Hospital Chelsea, Royal Hospital Rd, W3 4SR Sloane Square (rhs.org.uk).

LONDON COMIC CON FROM £5 Pull up a stool

Capital idea: Experimental Cocktail Club Where else but in Soho would you find this unmarked, nondescript little den, styled like a disreputable gentlemen’s club with echoes of a plush Prohibition-era speakeasy? And, as the name suggests, the cocktails themselves are a bit different. Try, for example, a Madras Flip, made with rum and cognac but with a spicy twist injected by chai tea, peppercorns and ginger. Or, if you’re after something a little more summery, go for the St Germain, a cool, gin-

based fizzer that will quench your thirst while sending you on your way with a spring in your step. You’ll need to put on some of your more respectable threads and it makes sense to get there fairly early, but if you fancy a night on the tiles, then this Soho landmark is a great place to start, or finish, as the case may be. TS

FOODIES FESTIVAL £15

The latest in new video games, movie updates and cult entertainment. A must for fanboys and collectors.

Certain to attract food-lovers from all over, this festival offers some extraordinary cooking tips and exquisite tastings. A chance to hone your skills.

» ExCeL Centre, 1 Western

» Hampton Court Green,

Gateway, Royal Victoria Dock, E16 1XL Custom House (londonexpo.com). May 27-29

KT8 9AT Hampton Court (foodiesfestival.com). May 28-30

13a Gerrard St Leicester Square (experimentalcocktail clublondon.com).

Just like your kitchen, isn’t it?

BRITAIN EXPLAINED LONDON BY NUMBERS

2000

Foster carers required to meet London’s growing demands

The glamour model at the heart of the ongoing furore over super-injunctions, Imogen Thomas was crowned Miss Wales back in 2003, but first made a splash as a contestant in the seventh series of Big Brother. Naturally, after her stint on television, Thomas hit the ladmag circuits, posing in Zoo and FHM. But her fame was receding before her name cropped up in a superinjunction, taken out by

a famous footballer with a reputation as a ‘solid family man’ to prevent UK papers publicising details of his affair with the Welsh beauty. A glamour model who bedded and allegedly tried to blackmail a married

footballer may be an unlikely candidate for sympathy but Thomas, who presumably can’t afford the legal advice required to procure a superinjunction, has become tabloid fodder all over again while the law protects the footballer. Of course, the cynics out there will argue that’s exactly what she wanted anyway. TS

Getty Images

Source: fostering.net

IMOGEN THOMAS

LOCK N LOAD EVENTS PRESENTS

IN ASSOCIATION WITH

SATURDAY 11TH JUNE CLAPHAM COMMON PERFORMING LIVE ON THE MAIN STAGE

Don’t stress about your prize-winning orchids

ENGLAND V BARBARIANS £8

LONDON SWING FESTIVAL PRICES VARY

The natives take on a bunch of all-star expats – it’s an honour to represent the Baa-Baas and they pride themselves on playing attacking, attractive rugby.

You can take part in workshops to teach you how to swing dance or do the jitterbug. Indeed, the festival includes the London Jitterbug Championships, so that’s definitely one not to miss.

» Twickenham Rugby Stadium, Rugby Rd, TW1 1DZ Twickenham (rfu.com). May 29

» Venues in and around London (londonswingfestival. co.uk). May 26-30

INXS LIVE IN LONDON ONLY LONDON SHOW THIS YEAR!

SHIHAD | JUST JINJER GOLDFISH | I AM GIANT DJ YODA | EDDY TEMPLE MORRIS HOMELANZ LIVE MUSIC ARENA IN ASSOCIATION WITH TRIBE DJS

DANE RUMBLE JUST ADDED | JAYSON NORRIS LOTUS MASON | TOWNHALL STEPS MELIC | CAPE FEAR | GLENN AITKEN CROOKED ELECTRONIC ATTRACTIONS

LONDON’S LARGEST BBQ BUCKING CROC BOUNCY BOXING

GIANT RUGBY SURF SIMULATOR WALTZER & TORNADO

The BaaBaas play attractive rugby

SCIENCE MUSEUM LATES FREE

Getty Images

You never get to the museum, do you? Because you work all week and are hungover all weekend. Well, now it’s open late. Great for a first date, provided you’re both nerds.

» Science Museum, Exhibition South Rd, SW7 2DD Kensington (sciencemuseum. org.uk). May 25

STREETFEST £10 It’s all terribly hip and urban, incorporating fashion, music, film and sport. There are demonstrations by graffiti artists and a B-girl dance competition. You’ll leave feeing like a real-life, gritty East Londoner.

WWW.TICKETMASTER.CO.UK

TEL: 0844 248 5092 WWW.SOUTHERNSOUNDSFESTIVAL.COM

» 7-11 Hearn St, off Curtain Rd, EC2A 3LS Old Street (streetfest.net). May 29

BILL SUBJECT TO CHANGE

S S A L C

S T AC

Forget slumming it at festivals – indulge in the finer things in life at the host of posh events taking place this summer WORDS CAROL DRIVER

o you wince at the thought of muddying your new Louboutins? Or shiver at the prospect of drinking lager from a plastic cup? If so, don’t despair, you don’t have to party with the masses at this summer’s festivals, as there are a host of posh events in and around London which attract a more sophisticated crowd. Here, TNT picks the best of the civilised affairs, from drinking Pimm’s in the park to listening to opera in the company of royals.

ROYAL ASCOT WHAT: Celebrating 300 years of racing this summer, Ascot has come a long way. In 1922, a Times correspondent wrote that “Ascot is notoriously the best place in England to see beautiful women in beautiful clothes”. Today, however, the annual ladies’ day event is more about outrageous hats than trying to impress. As the event is celebrating its tercentenary, there are special exhibitions, books and fashion shows taking place. WHO: Perfect for spotting A-to-Z-list celebrities as well as well-known faces. Think Princess Beatrice through to Jodie Marsh. WHEN: June 14-18. Ladies’ Day (Gold Cup Day) is Thursday, June 16 PRICE: From £59 SEE: ascot.co.uk DRESS: To impress

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GOODWOOD FESTIVAL OF SPEED WHAT: For more refined petrol-heads, this motoring garden party showcases a mix of classic vehicles, Formula 1 racers and 200mph supercars. Gape in awe at the stunning display of iconic cars that you’ll never be able to afford, then watch the experts as they burn rubber around the track in every type of machine, from bikes to steam engines. Order a hamper filled with traditional summer fare and relax on the lawns of Goodwood Park with a glass of bubbly. Book a fancy two-course lunch at the Richmond Arms in the Goodwood Hotel, based just behind the Start Line and Moving Motor Show exhibition. WHO: Everyone and anyone who’s involved in motoring – from Jenson Button to Jeremy Clarkson. WHEN: June 30-July 3 PRICE: From £20 SEE: goodwood.co.uk DRESS: Casual is fine for Stay chilled general admission

attract anyone high-profile, so instead expect trendy Londoners. WHEN: June 12 PRICE: £45 including food/drinks EMAIL: full@fulldining.co.uk DRESS: Traditional summer-fete wear

WHAT: You don’t have to be a tennis buff to enjoy this spectacular (if the sun’s shining) event. Celebrating its 125th championships this year, the finest players from more than 60 countries will compete in five main events. Scoff scones, smoked salmon and, of course, strawberries and cream.

Quirky art at Henley

Richard Blake, Getty Images, TNT Images

HENLEY FESTIVAL WHAT: Boaters and Bollinger come out to play at this quintessentially English summer party on the picturesque banks of the Thames. Tom Jones will open the five-night event with Jools Holland and Alexander Burke among the other headliners. Expect opera and classical music as well an eclectic collection of art galleries and sculpture lawns. Sip Pimm’s while watching yachts of all sizes float nearby, then book a table at Albert and Michel Roux’s á la carte Riverside Restaurant. Head to Chinawhites for late-night drinks. WHO: You’re more likely to see faces who are famous for their trade – such as Michael Roux – than those who command column inches. WHEN: July 6-10 PRICE: From £35 SEE: henley-festival.co.uk DRESS: Black tie and dresses

HAMPTON COURT PALACE FESTIVAL WHAT: World-renowned artists perform in the stunning open-air court of King Henry VIII’s palace – whatever the weather. Be prepared to exercise that stiff upper lip and carry on regardless

with a £1 emergency poncho if the heavens open. This year, Bryan Adams, Westlife, Jools Holland, Brian May and Kerry Ellis as well as The Australian Pink Floyd are among those performing. Order a picnic with Jamie Oliver’s Fabulous Feasts – don’t attempt to make one yourself unless you’re a pro, as regulars pull out all the stops while dining on deckchairs under a row of mushroomshaped English Yew Trees. WHO: It’s an old-school crowd of gentlemen and ladies. Think politicians and presenters such as James May. WHEN: June 8-18 PRICE: From £45 SEE: hamptoncourtpalacefestival.com DRESS: No strict code, but you won’t look out of place in tweed WIN!: TNT has a pair of tickets to give away to the Australian Pink Floyd and Brian May & Kerry Ellis performances. See tntmagazine.com/competitions

WHO: Royals, sophisticated A-listers and politicians galore. WHEN: June 20-July 3 PRICE: From £35, but you’ll have to queue – usually overnight SEE: wimbledon.com DRESS: Blazers and floaty dresses

TASTE OF LONDON WHAT: A sumptuous, indulgent foodie day out. This year introduces The Secret Garden – a gastronomic oasis and exclusive area of hidden treats which will be tucked away in Regent’s Park. Take part in Q&As with chefs, feast on canapés and champagne and enjoy VIP access to private bar and lounge. WHO: You’ll see plenty of food geeks – think Gary Rhodes/Jamie Oliver – milling around. WHEN: June 16-19 PRICE: From £22 SEE: tastefestivals.com/london DRESS: Casual summer clothes

FULL DINING PARTY WHAT: Full Dining is one of West London’s most exclusive secret dining clubs. For its inaugural summer party, it promises fun and frolics in the magical walled garden of Fulham Palace. Guests will enjoy a delicious hog roast from London chefs, decadent desserts and copious amounts of drinks. There will also be games including welly wanging, apple bobbing and an egg and spoon race. WHO: It’s early days for the event to

tntmagazine.com

LONDON

WIMBLEDON

FOOD & DRINK

RESTAURANT REVIEW EV Bar

â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;

LONDON

The Arches, 97-99 Isabella St, SE1 8DA Waterloo

THE SCENE An extremely spacious, atmospheric, welllaid-out bar. Cushioned couches provide comfort and massive tables mean you can get your whole party in one place. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a spacious

garden oasis, which is perfect for eating and drinking the summer nights away. THE GRUB Tasty Turkish fare. A selection of hot and cold mezes, grills (think lamb, chicken, beef and prawn) and vegetarian options. BEHIND THE BAR A massive wine selection, plenty of bottled beer including easyto- drink Turkish pilsener

Efes, and cocktails by the jug. BILL PLEASE Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no food dish more than ÂŁ10, cocktails ÂŁ14.50 a jug and bottles of beer come in a ÂŁ3.20. Wine at expected prices. VERDICT A hidden gem that, due to its location, is almost impossible just to stumble upon. A top night out is guaranteed. JAHN VANNISSELROY

Restaurant Review Chez Manny â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;â&#x2DC;&#x2026;

Battersea High Street, SW11 3JS (0207 223 4040; chezmanny.com). Clapham Junction

BREAKFAST VENUES Caravan Exmouth Marketâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite Antipodean cafe serves up a bonanza of breakfast treats, from blueberry friands to grilled coconut bread topped with strawberries. caravanonexmouth.co.uk

The Wolseley

French cuisine at Chez Manny

list is gigantic and includes international and affordable options. BILL PLEASE Starters from ÂŁ3.25, mains from ÂŁ11.50 and desserts from ÂŁ4.25. Receive 20 per cent off your entire bill by

mentioning TNT Magazine when making a booking. VERDICT A charming neighbourhood bolthole that offers well-executed French food in a friendly setting. JANINE KELSO

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ith Served awnd chips yle Spur-st r a gs o onion ripnotato or baked salad. side

Offer not valid with any other promotion or special. Bring in voucher to receive this special. Terms and conditions apply. Valid until 30 June 2011. The least expensive combo meal is free.

0RKDZN 6SXU Southside Shopping Centre, Wandsworth. Tel: 0208 874 0831

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This uberglam London institution offers a hip breakfast selection. Expect kedgeree, smoked salmon or caviar omelette, darling. thewolseley.com

Garufa Breakfast like a king by opting for the Bloody Mary Breakfast, which includes an Argentine rump steak and a stiff drink. garufa.co.uk

TNT Images

ZZZ XNVSXU FR XN

THE SCENE With its wooden floors, glimmering candlelight and red walls emblazoned with art, Chez Manny is a good-looking French bistro that oozes charm thanks to its eponymous owner who greets diners like old friends. Passionate about food, we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but get swept up in Chezâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s enthusiasm for our meal. THE GRUB Classic French dishes adapted from family recipes. Starters include duck foie gras and escargots, while mains include duck leg confit and roasted lamb shank with a red wine jus. The meat is meltin-the-mouth succulent and all dishes are artfully assembled. Puddings include raspberry creme brulee and tart tatin. BEHIND THE BAR The wine

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LONDON

Kate Moss and fiance Jamie Hince can’t escape the paps

Inside the world of London’s paparazzi photographers WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

tntmagazine.com

a lady -like fashion

to admit it, their relationship with the paps is a symbiotic one: it really is no coincidence the paparazzi is there every time Jordan and her ilk pop to the shops. “The fastest growing way of finding out where celebrities will be is by getting a phone call from their agent,” says WENN paparazzi manager David Sims. “And lots of celebrities tweet their plans, knowing full well that paps, as well as fans, will read it.” Adams agrees: “Up-and-coming celebs like reality stars will do anything to get their picture taken. “And massive mega-stars like Jack Nicholson are fantastic too.” Other stars, though, are harder to capture. In London, News Of The World phone hacking victim Sienna Miller no

Getty Images

Amy Winehouse fails to exit in

alling drunk out of a club, screaming abuse or slobbering over a stranger: this is how we like to see our celebs. Just think how much more interesting Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse became after a few shambolic photos cemented their images as die-hard caners. Posed, red carpet shoots just don’t cut it anymore, and on hand to feed our desire for juicy pictures is an ever-growing network of paparazzi. “People are on the outside looking in to the world of celebrities,” says Trevor Adams from London’s Matrix Picture Agency. “Celebrities’ lives look so much more interesting and glamorous than our own. But the public doesn’t just want to see the good bits.” However, whether or not the celebs like

SPOT A CELEB FOR YOURSELF HERE’S WHERE TO LOOK:

got a shot of rubbing shoulders with Daisy Lowe, Agyness Deyn and Pixie Geldof. ✹ Camden: Hit the Hawley Arms and Lock Tavern to see Amy Winehouse, Rhys Ifans and Peaches Geldof. ✹ The Ivy: If you don’t mind forking out, you’re almost guaranteed to see stars here. Tom Cruise digs it. ✹ Mayfair Hotel: Celebs get discounts and regulars include Jordan, Kerry Katona and Lindsay Lohan.

LONDON

✹ Notting Hill: American actors love this part of London and regular faces include Sienna Miller, Stella McCartney and Claudia Schiffer. ✹❁Bond Street: The best designer shops are here so you could see absolutely anyone. Victoria and David Beckham shopped here before they moved to LA. ✹ Primrose Hill: Not quite the celeb epicentre it used to be, but you’ve still

In the spotlight: Pete Doherty

‘Hope someone tipped off the paps’

ON THE SCENE

Getty Images

Think it’s a coincidence that the “ paps are there every time Jordan and her ilk pop to the shops? It’s not ” longer needs to court publicity on the street. Likewise Cheryl Cole. “It’s the ones who’ve made it big but have forgotten how they got there who see photographers as the enemy,” Adams says. He knows first hand. A few years back, a more naive Adams left the engine of his car running after leaping out to photograph Robbie Williams, only to have the singer snatch his keys from the ignition and throw them into a drain. Soho was brought to a standstill for several hours And there’s no still love lost today: in February, Kate Moss’s fiancé Jamie Hince got into a scuffle with a pap outside Soho’s The Box and days later Michael Douglas rushed a snapper, labelling him “an asshole” after Catherine Zeta-Jones was allegedly punched in a paparazzi scrum outside their London hotel. Annoying though paps may sometimes be to those they pursue, pockets of the industry do have self-imposed codes of

practice. “Several celebrities have lost babies recently and our agency photographers would never look for that person immediately after,” says Sims. And Adams scorns a digital era which has created a breed of under-skilled, ruthless and money-hungry snappers. “The problem is, there are too many pretenders now who aren’t photographers, they’re just people with cameras,” he says. Ultimately, which pictures make it to print will be the decision of newspaper and magazine editors. So, if the shit hits the fan and a photographer’s there, don’t expect them not to click that shutter. “Lots of people said the photos of Diana and Dodi’s death shouldn’t have been taken,” says Adams. “But as a photographer you have to take a picture as the situation presents itself. We’re just here to record things.”

» Interested in becoming a pap? Contact david@wenn.com

Celebrity blogger Zoe Griffin, 26, makes it her business to hear about it every time a celebrity sneezes in London. Rather than having to blag her way into events, celebs’ agents bombard her with invitations knowing that people will be reading about their client in a matter of hours. Her job is simply turning up and sniffing out the gossip. “There are always stories to be had,” says Zoe. “You’ve just got to do a bit of research then be brave and go up to and talk to people.” Being charming definitely helps in this game. “Prince Harry game me a kiss on both cheeks when I told him he was better looking than William.” But a thick skin is also required. “David Walliams is the most grumpy man in the world. He just doesn’t like journalists.” Zoe says she doesn’t get starstruck but when we catch up with her she’s dashing between parties at the Cannes Film Festival and tells us she just met Brad Pitt. “I did feel a bit overwhelmed because he’s so fit! He’s taller than I expected and his face is just radiant.” We can think of harder jobs. » zoegriffin.co.uk

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SPOTTED ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

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THE LARRICK Fulham, Saturday, May 14 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/TNT Images

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SILLY BUGGERS

I’ve started seeing a guy and I’m really happy, but my ex-boyfriend has just arrived in London. I still have feelings for him – what should I do?

You should welcome the return of your old flame. Our entire society is founded on principles of competition and your new man should be under no illusions – he either brings his A-game or you leave him hanging. Some people will tell you this is unfair or manipulative but it’s nature’s way – men competing to have sex with females ultimately benefits

TOOL OF THE WEEK Hot wheels

ITV – she forecast the clearing showers of my heart and when she insisted that it would be “becoming fine”, I knew she was talking straight to me. Perhaps understandably, my girlfriend grew jealous and left me. But I felt like a whole other dimension, a different kind of love, had been revealed to me. Be careful not to under-value the value of what you have while idealising what you don’t. But if your feelings are true, as mine were for my 6pm siren, then you can’t deny them.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

Getty Images

If your sexual tally has reached four figures you’re doing something right, right? Not so for US man Edward Smith who has reached 1000 – his ‘partners’ have all been cars. His current “girlfriend” is a white VW named Vanilla but he admits to a wandering eye, often having sex with parked cars. However, his most intense sexual experience was “making love” to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf. Not sure exactly how you have sex with any vehicle but it’s fair to say to get to 1000 must have been fairly exhausting.

Sometimes we underthe entire species, because it value what we have prevents the weaklings and defects from breeding. It’s why while idealising what we don’t. But sometimes, the grass really peacocks have feathers. is greener on the other side. In my experience, we can In my last relationship, I never truly escape our sexual thought I was happy, but then histories – and I don’t just I met a girl who showed me mean because of STDs. If I what real happiness meant. had a dollar for every sexless Melody came marriage I’ve into my life abandoned for one evening a toxic chancer and, straight from my past, away, I felt like I would have I knew her. ten dollars. From then Give each on, I never of these guys missed her three nights weather and alternate Benefits of competition forecasts on Sundays.

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STAR SPOTTING

CELEBRITY NEWS ➩

Frankie Mullin WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ A GOOD WEEK FOR

Dannii Minogue: Seriously NOT pissed off

NEW ZEALAND Woman’s Weekly: A glut of gossip on William and Kate’s honeymoon; Former All Blacks star Jonah Lomu spills the beans on his weird marriage; and Shortland Street star Ido Drent talks about his wedding. Nupitals overload?

Gossip columns have been full of George Clooney’s bird, Elisabetta Canalis, looking ridiculoulsy hot in her bikini at Cannes. And she’s got George. Really, we ask, where’s the justice?

AUSTRALIA

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

Knocking up the maid within weeks of his own wife, who doesn’t know of the ‘lovechild’ until he’s splashed across the news aged 13. Bad boy, bad week Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Getty Images

IT AIN’T NO FUN IF THE HOMIES CAN’T HAVE NONE Surrounded by strippers, Snoop Dogg held court as he talked to the press promoting his album, Doggumentary, this week. The media were told not to ask about drugs, although reportedly the whiff of weed was potent. Snoop used the opportunity to stick up for his mate Charlie Sheen, with whom he collaborated on a single called Winning. The mind only boggles as to what that party was like. Fun, possibly!

DISSED OR MISSED? The X Factor is in turmoil after Dannii Minogue was either ditched from, or quit, the judging panel, depending on which reports you believe.

Initially, word on the street was that Simon Cowell had bored of the Aussie star and wanted some new eye-candy for the show (Tulisa from N-Dubz, possibly). However, it now seems that Dannii may have done the ditching after audition dates clashed with her Australia’s

Got Talent schedule. Dannii has gone out of her way to tell us just how totally fine and dandy she is with the whole thing. “I will be getting on the plane with the biggest smile on my face,” she chirruped on her blog. “I will be watching the show from wherever I am. Can I still dress up at home?” Cheryl Cole and Cowell have also left the UK X Factor. Maybe it’s time we all turned the TV off and got a life.

SAY WHAT?

”People are sitting in the barbershop talking about my butt.” Nicki Minaj discusses the world’s obsession with her derriere.

New Idea: Geoff Huegill and Sara Hills’ uber bling wedding pictures and touching account of the dog’s speech (yes, really); 30 years after his daughter Azaria was taken from an Ayers Rock campsite by a dingo, Michael Chamberlain opens up about his loss; plus, how to get a bum like Pippa Middleton’s. You know you want to.

SOUTH AFRICA Heat: Kate Moss has been blagging loads of freebies for her upcoming wedding to Jamie Hince, apparently; Paris Hilton has – shock and horror – put on some curves and you can ogle the bikini pictures that prove it; Madonna is feeling fat and lonely, which is bad, but Janez Vermeiren has taken his shirt off, which is good.

tntmagazine.com

ENTERTAINMENT

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

ENTERTAINMENT

TNT LIFE

THE SUNDAY DRIVE

Get amongst it at the Bournemouth Sevens

Roaring down the road this summer is the Australian/ New Zealand-launched The Sunday Drive, offering unbelievably priced day trips into the best of the English countryside straight from Clapham/London. With a vintage opendeck bus, welcome drinks/ shots, bar tab prizes, an awesome route, fantastic stops, guides and a BYO licence (BYO strongly encouraged!), The Sunday Drive is going to be big. Spokesman Chris Hart said: “The concept is to get people seeing the best of London’s backyard, without having to organise it themselves.”

» The Sunday Drive, recurring selected Saturday and Sundays from July 16. £18. Find more info and book at thesundaydrive.co.uk

Southern Sounds Catch some of the best live bands from south of the equator at the Southern Sounds festival on June 11. The line-up includes the legendary INXS (their first London show in five years), Kiwi band Shihad and South Africa’s Just Jinjer.

» Clapham Common, SW4 9BS. Sat, Jun 11. See tntmagazine.com/ southernsounds

BOURNEMOUTH SEVENS 2011 Head to Bournemouth on the bank holiday weekend of May 27-29 and join the celebrations at the world’s largest rugby, netball and music festival. This year’s Bournemouth Sevens features 380 teams, 20,000 festival-goers, rugby stars, fancy dress competitions, a stunt parachute display, plus live bands and DJs. » Bournemouth, Dorset, May 27-29. See tntmagazine.com/bournemouthsevens

Just Jinjer

TNT online For a full list of TNT’s fantastic summer events log on to tntmagazine.com/events

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LOOK WHO’S TALKING

The Mancunian technical whizz-kid DJ is psyching himself up for a summer of spinning at Cream in Ibiza and UK festivals

ENTERTAINMENT

Eddie Halliwell INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER

23 You’re off to Ibiza for your Cream residency soon – what makes Ibiza so special?

The clubs are the best in the world and there’s nowhere like because of its history. Ibiza just has a special feeling, and you can feel it as soon as you land on the island. It must be hard tearing yourself away for festivals back in Blighty …

I enjoy playing festivals as much as clubs. They are both very different in many ways. At festivals you get the buzz from the sheer volume of people – you tend to let the music do the talking in the big arenas. But in clubs I like to get into the technical messing around and people can see what you’re doing – you have more of a connection with the crowd. It changes

Ibiza has that “ special feeling as soon as you land ” your style of DJing. I enjoy it both ways cos at a festival, if you play a big tune, you can see the reaction it gets – whereas in a small environment you can be getting into a mix and see the energy on the dancefloor. People are feeding off what you’re doing. It’s nice to be DJing where the sun’s shining, but the main thing is that you’ve got a good crowd. Judge Jules said you have an almost telepathic ability to read a crowd – how do you do that?

You get into a vibe, into a groove, look at what the DJ before you was playing and get a feeling for what you think is gonna work and just feed off what’s happening on the dancefloor. You probably do it without thinking. You have to know your music and have everything organised

well. That will lead you to this track or that track and you’ll have all these ideas popping into your head – you just try them out and see if they work. You’re renowned for your crowd surfing which is very rock ’n’ roll for a DJ.

It’s all about getting involved with the crowd. I remember one of my very first gigs, I was playing in Manchester and I was just enjoying it so much I thought: “I’m just gonna stick a record on and get on the dancefloor.” It’s come from that really, just wanting to be with the crowd. It’s just the connection thing. It’s such a great feeling. What have you got planned for Creamfields this year?

Last year we did a special edit show but this year I’m just doing a regular DJ set. We’re doing the Cream arena so expect plenty of full fire and shenanigans. What’s your festival “must have”?

The main thing is earplugs – you get special ones now that are moulded into your ears to filter out the high frequencies that can damage them – it’s good to have that because some of the sound systems are a bit harsh. They

YOU DON’T SAY? What song would you have played at your funeral? I can’t think of one and I don’t think I want to – just something that brings happiness, lifts people’s spirits. Biggest phobia? Going to the dentist. What’s in your pockets? My gym membership card. I’ve just come back from the gym.

can be saviours because your ears aren’t screaming the day after.

» At Creamfields, Daresbury Estate, Aug 26-28 (creamfields.com) Tickets £115 including camping. Creamfields has announced a third day on Friday, August 26, which hosts the debut of two silent disco arenas hosted by Size Matters, Steve Angello’s party brand.

CINEMA Life, Above All

SCREEN TEST: SOUTH AFRICAN CINEMA

Khomotso Manyaka, Keaobaka Makanyane, Lerato Mvelase

ENTERTAINMENT

STARRING:

1 Which SA film is named after a bread/curry dish? 2 Tsotsi tells the story of boy who steals a car which has what in the back seat? 3 Who plays François Pienaar and Nelson Mandela in Invictus? 4 Neill Blomkamp directed which sci-fi thriller? 5 Skin tells the true story of a black woman born to white parents. Name her.

CERT: 12A MINS RT: 105 MINS

★★★★★ Opening with the Aidsrelated death of a baby and featuring devastating scenes of child prostitution and alcoholism, Life, Above All is a tough movie to watch. Persevere, though, and you’ll be rewarded with one of the most moving films this year. At the heart of this extraordinary South African offering is Chanda (Manyaka), a teenage girl living in a small rural town who is coming to terms with the disintegration of her family life. Her mother Lillian (Mvelase) is seriously ill and has recently lost her baby while her step-father is a cheating alcoholic. As a cloud hangs over Chanda’s home, the local community starts talking about a curse, something

Khomotso Manyaka

made worse by the youngster’s friendship with prostitute Esther (Makanyane). A subtle exploration into the tragic misinformation that surrounds the Aids pandemic in South Africa, Life, Above All is frequently shocking and heart-breaking. Oliver Schmitz draws wonderful performances from his cast while the director’s decision to use moody, natural light in

most of the scenes is a masterstroke. True, the ending doesn’t really ring true, but by then Life, Above All has well and truly made its point. GOOD FOR: Learning the truth about the Aids pandemic in South Africa. PIERRE DE VILLIERS

For our review of

Hangover 2 see tntmagazine.com

THE REEL DEAL Sir Peter Jackson’s first feature film, Bad Taste, will be remastered and re-released, stuff.co.nz has revealed. The gory 1987 cult flick, which more than lived up to its name, will be shown at the brand new Roxy Cinema in Miramar next year. Shot around Pukerua Bay the film tells the story of a small village infested by pink aliens on the hunt for human flesh to supply their intergalactic fast-food chain. Jackson co-wrote, directed, produced and starred in the lobudget film himself.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Penelope Cruz 2 Angelica 3 Keith Richards 4 Hector Barbossa 5 Disneyland LAST WEEK’S WINNER Lesley Perry

APOCALYPSE NOW CERT: 15 MINS RT: 153 MINS

Marlon Brando

★★★★★

Three decades after Willard (Martin Sheen) first took a riverboat into the heart of darkness, this masterpiece returns to cinemas this week. Whether it’s the Ride Of The Valkyries scene, Marlon Brando’s monologue or the killing of the water buffalo, Apocalypse Now is as riveting and thought-provoking as it ever was. GOOD FOR: Revisiting a classic. PDV

DANCING DREAMS CERT: TBC RT: 92 MINS

★★★★★

The late, great German choreographer Pina Bausch molds 40 students into dancers who can perform a piece called Contact Zone. For fans of Bausch this is as good as it gets, with unique footage showing how she not only turned youngsters into better dancers, but also more well- rounded individuals. GOOD FOR: Watching a master at work. PDV

Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, Getty Images

Australian screen veteran Bill Hunter, pictured, has been admitted to hospital with “inoperable cancer”. Hunter’s manager, Mark Morrissey, contacted Channel Nine’s Today show to break the news of the 71year-old actor’s ill health. “Sadly, he has cancer, and it’s inoperable,” he said. “He was admitted to a hospice a couple of days ago.” Hunter, possibly best known for his role as the corrupt patriarch in Muriel’s Wedding, most recently finished work on The Cup, in which he played legendary Australian horse trainer Bart Cummings.

To win a copy of Love And Other Drugs starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway out on Blu-ray and DVD on May 23, email answers to grabs@ tntmagazine. com by Wed with, ‘Love’ in the subject.

WIN

CULTURE BETTE AND JOAN Claws are discreetly sheathed when silver screen icons Bette Davis and Joan Crawford come face to face in Anton Burge’s mildly entertaining two-hander. Behind the scenes in their mirror-image dressing rooms, though, it’s no-holds-barred bitching during filming of their 1962 comeback movie Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? Anita Dobson’s smirking, soignée Crawford contrasts strongly with Greta Scacchi’s clumping Davis; the former working overtime to preserve her star image, the latter an actress to her fingertips who

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre isn’t afraid to look the part, no matter how monstrous. Burge doesn’t probe very deeply – biographical details are scant, the interaction between the two limited – but a fair scattering of witty one-liners and malicious observations are delivered with commendable relish. LOUISE KINGSLEY

» Arts Theatre, WC2H 7JB (020 7907 7092) Leicester Square. Until June 25. £20-£34.50

TNT online For more reviews and entertainment in London log on to tntmagazine.com Greta Scacchi as Bette and Anita Dobson as Joan

WORTH A LOOK Ridiculusmus takes a humorous look at the culture of football in Britain and why England always loses » Barbican Theatre, EC2Y 8DS

after following a strange lady into a bar in •Alice finds a world of women Goodge Street (drillhall.co.uk). Until June 9. £7

Barbican (barbican.org.uk). Until June 18. £16

Alice...In Wonderland, a loose adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s classic » The Drill Hall, WC1E 7EX

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME: NEW SCULPTURE

SHIELD WALL

DEAD MAN’S GRIP

Justin Hill

Peter James

(Little Brown) MAY 26

(Macmillan) MAY 26

Man Booker Prizenominated author publishes this historical novel about Godwin, barely out of boyhood and destined to become one of his country’s great warriors as England burns in 1016.

Carly Chase is traumatised ten days after being in a fatal traffic accident which kills a teenage student from Brighton University. Then she receives news that turns her entire world into a living hell.

SOMETHING FROM TIFFANY’S

MUD SWEAT AND TEARS

Melissa Hill

Bear Grylls

(Hodder and Stoughton)

(Channel 4) OUT NOW

MAY 23

For the first time Brit adventurer Bear Grylls tells the story of his actionpacked life from scaling Mount Everest to being buried alive for the fun of it. A mustread for adrenalin junkies.

Ralph Rapley; Courtesy the Saatchi Gallery, London © David Altmejd, 2011

This is the Saatchi gallery’s first exhibition entirely devoted to three-dimensional works and, as such, promises a showing of some of the most exciting sculptural works created in recent years. From granite monoliths to neon structures, buckled cars to stuffed horse hide, the exhibition

demonstrates the diversity of the medium. Works on show will include Sterling Ruby’s arresting vermillion-hued Kiss Trap Kismet and David Altmejd’s wood, foam, horse hair and quartz crystal creation, The New North.

» Duke of York’s HQ King’s Road, SW3 4SQ Sloane Square. May 27- Oct 16. Free. David Altmejd’s The New North 2007

On 5th Avenue in New York City, two very different men are shopping for gifts for the women they love. But when the two men’s shopping bags get confused things get weird.

MORE EXHIBITIONS Yinka Shonibare: Nelson’s Ship In A Bottle is the latest installation to grace Trafalgar Square’s fourth plinth » Trafalgar Square, WC2N

•

Free

Charing Cross. May 24-Jan 14.

I Know A Place exhibits work by artists who use landscape as

inspiration » E2 8DP (flowersgalleries.com) May 27-Jul 2

Old St. Free

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC

MUSIC & CLUBS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Adele Hammersmith Apollo, Sep 19-20 (0844 844 4748). £30. Arcade Fire, Mumford And Sons, The Vaccines Hyde Park, June 30 (0870 264 3333). £48.

LADY GAGA

Bon Jovi Hard Rock Calling, Hyde Park, Jun 25 (hardrockcalling.co.uk). £66.

Born This Way (Polydor)

FAST FORWARD

★★★★★

For all her shock tactics – the blood soaked stage show, the meat “dress” – Stefani Germanotta can be underwhelmingly tame in her actual music. She’s most often compared to Madonna but is nowhere near as groundbreaking. Indeed songs like Judas and Black Jesus - Amen Fashion seem merely to echo

“I must, I must increase my bust”

Madge’s own heavy use of religious themes. Still, Born This Way is an edgier ride than, say, Katy Perry’s or Britney’s latest output and is more sonically diverse, with forays into metal rock and soft Seventies prog. Marry The Night channels

the downbeat 80s vibe of Pat Benatar and electro stormer Government Hooker with the line “put your hands on me, John F Kennedy” is as crass as it is catchy. It isn’t subtle, like the woman herself, but it will sell squillions. ALISON GRINTER

ALSO OUT DAVID SYLVIAN

THE FELICE BROTHERS

NEIL DIAMOND

Died In The Wool (Samadhisound) Prolific English singer-songwriter and erstwhile lead singer of Japan releases his latest album.

Celebration, Florida (Loose Music) More ramshackle barroom blues and vaudevillian atmospherics from the New York folk/rock outfit.

The Bang Years (Sony CMG) Documents the rawer early years of Neil Diamond’s career from 1966 – 69 on the Bang label.

MUSIC NEWS Kasey Chambers

Australian country singer Kasey Chambers has won the prestigious International Songwriting Competition with Beautiful Mess. The song, inspired by the messiness of parenthood, impressed the judging panel made up of such luminaries as Tom Waits, Ben Harper, Rihanna and The Cure’s

CHARTS

Robert Smith, ultimately beating 15,000 entries from around the world. “Winning makes it even more special as it’s a song I wrote for my two boys, Talon and Arlo,” Chambers told The Daily Telegraph. “Guess I’d better buy them an ice-cream!” But while the judges loved the song, Chambers’ youngest son Arlo was less than impressed when she first played the song for him. “He started screaming at me to stop singing two lines into the verse,” she said. Luke Steele has worked

with British band Gomez on their upcoming album. The Perth artist behind The Sleepy Jackson and Empire Of The Sun leant his considerable music smarts to the onetime Mercury Music Prize winners on their seventh album, Whatever’s On Your Mind, out June 17.

Luke Steele

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

No 1 single Party Rock Anthem, LMFAO No 1 album 21, Adele

No 1 single On The Floor, Jennifer Lopez/Pitbull No 1 album Now That’s What I Call Music 57, Various Artists

No 1 single The Lazy Song, Bruno Mars No 1 album 21, Adele

tntmagazine.com

John Butler Trio Shepherds Bush Empire, Jul 6 (0844 477 2000). £20. Liam Finn XOYO, July 20 (xoyo.co.uk) £15.75 Fleet Foxes Hammersmith Apollo, May 31 (0844 844 4748). £23.50. Josh Groban Hammersmith Apollo, Oct 11 (0844 844 4748). £40. Ke$ha Hammersmith Apollo, Jul 13 (0844 844 4748). £25. Ricky Martin Hammersmith Apollo, Jul 12 (0844 844 4748). £35-£85. Pulp Wireless Festival, Hyde Park, Jul 3 (0871 230 1094). £50. Springbok Nude Girls Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Jun 4 (08444 77 2000). £18. Ryan Adams Barbican, Jun 19-20 (020 7638 8891). £22.50£32.50. Public Enemy Forum, Sep 8 (0844 844 0444). £25. Paul Simon Hammersmith Apollo, June 28 (0844 844 4748). £30. Suicidal Tendencies Electric Ballroom, Aug 15 (0870 264 3333). £17.50. Tame Impala Roundhouse, Jun 22 (0844 482 8008). £15. Dweezil Zappa plays Zappa Barbican, Nov 29. (020 7638 8891). £29.50. Wilco Roundhouse, Oct 28-29. (0844 482 8008). £32.

Getty Images

AUSTRALIA

Jimmy Barnes Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Jul 2 (08444 77 2000). £27.

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MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK BELLE & SEBASTIAN Last time Belle And Sebastian headlined in London, Tony Blair was still Britain’s prime minister. Back then they were touring their 2006 album The Life Pursuit, which earned the band their most successful commercial acclaim, number eight in the UK album charts. Led by Stuart Murdoch, the Glaswegian outfit return to perform songs from their recently released eighth studio album, Belle And Sebastian Write About Love, as well as their acclaimed back catalogue. It’s good to finally have them return to this city.

» Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008) May 29-30. £18.50.

Chalk Farm

THE ZOMBIES

Stuart Murdoch: he can play the guitar like he’s ringing a … Belle

DURAN DURAN

As purveyors of gorgeous melodic pop/ rock The Zombies were right up there with 60s fellow travellers the Beatles and the Beach Boys. Case in point: their 1968 album Odessey And Oracle is ranked 80 on Rolling Stone Magazine’s list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. Still going strong, they’re in town to perform their classics this week.

Their UK tour hasn’t got off to a good start with the 80s legends forced to cancel the opening date in Newcastle and Glasgow due to lead singer Simon Le Bon’s throat infection. But no doubt he’ll be in fine voice in time for this massive London show. Expect to hear all the hits and tracks off the new album All You Need Is Now.

» Shepherd’s Bush Empire, W11 8QE (08444 77 2000) May 27. £28.50.

» The O2, Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX

Shepherd’s Bush.

NEW BAND ALERT

North Greenwich (0844 856 0202). Wed Mar 25. £35-£65.

FESTIVAL WATCH Tickets on sale now The Apple Cart Badly Drawn Boy, Chilly Gonzales, Saint Etienne. Victoria Park, London, (theapplecartfestival.com). Sun, Aug 7. £25

Barry worried the new band members might get their claws out

Real Fur

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THE BUZZ SO FAR With a name that would have animal activists

up in arms, Real Fur make a calypso-infused proto punk that could have come straight from 70s New York City by way of west Africa. WHAT ELSE? This East London three-piece have made launderettes into something of a happening by turning them into pop-up gigs and art galleries, much to the annoyance of the blue-rinse brigade but to the delight of local fashionistas THE PLUG Performing at The New Empowering Church, E8 3RL London Fields. June 4. £5. Debut single Animal out June 6.

Cambridge Folk Festival The Robert Cray Band, Frank Turner, Pentangle, Newton Faulkner, Bellowhead, Kate Rusby, Laura Marling. Cherry Hinton Hall, Cambridge (cambridgefolkfestival.co.uk), Jul 28-31. W/e tickets £114 Download Alice Cooper, Def Leppard, Pendulum, Korn, Linkin Park. Donington Park, Derby, Jun 1012 (downloasfestival.co.uk). W/e tickets £190 High Voltage Slash, Judas Priest, Thin Lizzy, Jethro Tull, Queensryche.

Victoria Park, London (highvoltagefestival.com). June 23-24. Day £56, W/e £99 Primavera Sound Pulp, Grinderman, Animal Collective, Autolux, Belle & Sebastian, Blank Dogs. Parc del Forum, Barcelona (primaverasound.com). May 26-28. W/e tickets £145 Wickerman Echo & The Bunnymen, Feeder, The Damned, Utah Saints, Riva Starr. Dumfries & Galloway, (thewickermanfestival.co.uk). Jul 22-23. W/e tickets £90 Winterwell Norman Jay, The Nextmen, Man Like Me, The Milk, Ellen And The Escapades, The Jinks. Secret location near Cirencester (winterwell.co.uk). Jun 17-19. W/e tickets £100

tntmagazine.com

Wyatt with bandmate Spencer Nezey

DANCES

with WOLVES

Former Pussycat Doll Kimberly Wyatt on her new band, dancing and Nicole Scherzinger WORDS ALISON GRINTER

In happier times: Wyatt, left, with Scherzinger, centre, and the rest of the Pussycat Dolls

MUSIC & CLUBS

hen The Pussycat Dolls disintegrated amid claims that lead singer Nicole Scherzinger was getting all the attention, Kimberly Wyatt wasted no time in setting up new band Her Majesty & The Wolves with Spencer Nezey of Jupiter Rising fame. Here she gives us the goss on her upcoming debut album, her signature dance move and why breaking up is hard to do. The band name suggests you quite like the idea of being queen – is that the case? [Laughs] No, I don’t really see myself like that at all. If anything, I see myself as a floating little fairy who loves to dream. Your debut album 111 has been described as a “rave retelling of Little Red Riding Hood” A fair assessment? Yeah, in all it has a very fairytale feel but it comes from an underground electro place. I compare it to a Tim Burton fairytale: really beautiful but still a bit drab and twisted, which is what I really love. Deadmau5, Ladyhawke, Gorillaz and Goldfrapp were all inspirations for the album, is that right? Absolutely. They are my all-time favourite artists. But the real inspiration came last year when Spencer and I decided to check out Coachella, the festival near Los Angeles. It was the first festival I’d ever been to. We saw Jay Z and I thought he was unbelievable. We then went to Deadmau5’s tent and saw what he was doing and I was like: ”Wow, if I could combine both of these worlds, this would be everything I ever wanted.” I just loved it – all these people dancing and dressed up like fairies. Everyone was having such a great time and I thought: “These are the people I want to make music for.”

Getty Images

You’re a judge on Sky’s Got To Dance. How do you feel about passing judgment on other dancers? It’s not easy but I know I’m sitting there for a reason. I have a solid duty to be as honest and helpful as possible and I feel it was the constructive criticism that really moulded me into the professional dancer I became. What sort of criticism did you attract when you were just starting out? Oh, you know, “Your body type isn’t right, you’re just a ballet dancer” and in every audition you had to be scantily clad, showing a lot of skin – but dancers are used to people being tough on them.

How did the ‘standing oversplit’ become your signature move? As a dancer and a competition kid I was always a very flexible girl and I always used that to try to stand out from the crowd. I always did it but it was when The Pussycat Dolls did When I Grow Up and people saw it over and over again in that video that it became my signature move. When you left The Pussycat Dolls you made a statement that money and fame can’t buy happiness. Why? The Pussycat Dolls was an unbelievable dream come true but there was this one day on tour when I realised all my dreams as a dancer had come true but I still wasn’t happy. I had to go on a spiritual journey to find out why. For me it’s about artistic expression and in the end The Pussycat Dolls wasn’t my gig. I was an employee – and it was something that I loved but I needed to move on. What is the story with (former Pussycat Doll) Nicole Scherzinger? Rumour has it that you all fell out with her. It’s all love and, if anything, everyone is on their own journey to find happiness and every girl in that group deserves Don’t try this at home: the standing oversplit

to realise their dreams and happiness and if we couldn’t find it in that situation then we all need to go and do what we need to do to find what we want. Breakups are really hard but at the end of the day everyone was doing their best. Do you still speak to her? I haven’t really spoken to her in quite some time. I have seen Jessica at Coachella and Ashley and I work out a lot and Melody and I talk a lot but Nic is on her own journey, doing her own thing, making her dreams come true. You just have to respect that and send as much love and compassion her way as you can. You once said you’d like to teach Kate Middleton how to pole dance. Do you think she needs to vamp up her image? Not at all, I think that Kate needs to be Kate – her wedding day was unbelievable. I was asked if Kate Middleton wanted pole dancing classes, would I teach them and I said yes. Why wouldn’t I? I know quite a few moves for a beginner.

» Her Majesty & The Wolves’ single Goodbye/Goodnight out May 30. Album 111 follows on June 13. The band plays Wireless Festival on Sat, July 2. (wirelessfestival.co.uk). tntmagazine.com

MONDAY 23

Sell-out act: Metronomy

Thee Oh Sees, Carnivores, Cuss Words The San Fransiscobased band plays noise rock and psychedelic pop. The

MUSIC & CLUBS

Brother Indie-rock band

SATURDAY 28 Django Bates’ Beloved Bird

from Slough. Heaven, Charing

Dome, Dartmouth Park Hill, N19 5QQ (020 7272 8153). £10.

Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £10.

The pianist and colleagues interpret the music of Charlie Parker. Kings Place, York

VersaEmerge Commercial

Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £14.50-£34.50, saver seat £9.50.

indie-pop by the band from Port St Lucie, Florida. King’s

Eric Clapton Blues-rock from the veteran guitar maestro. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £65.

College London Students’ Union, Macadam Building, Surrey St, WC2R 2NS (020 7848 1588). £10.

Duran Duran Pop-rock from the New Romantic pioneers.

Lucy Farrell & Jonny Kearney Folk from the fiddle

FRIDAY 27

Frenzy, Skitzo, Graveyard

player and guitarist. The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £9.

Hot Club Of Boisdale Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Ladysmith Black Mambazo Harmonious South African song from the a cappella group. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £10-£35.

Pop Levi, Islington Boys Club, Ghost Town Psychedelic rock from the singer-songwriter. The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £8.

Tanja Tzarovska Folkinfused pop ballads from the Macedonian singer-songwriter. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £8, adv £6.

O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £35-£65.

Horace Andy And Band

Psychobilly from the veteran outfit. Relentless Garage, Highbury

Reggae from the Jamaican outfit. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd,

Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £25.

Anne Marie Hurst The Bibio, Lone, Letherette

TNT’S TOP BOOKING METRONOMY Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP South Kensington (020 7589 8212) Mon, Oct 3. £25 After a successful sell-out show at Shepherds Bush Empire, the dance-meets-rock quartet make their debut at the Royal Albert Hall as one of the venue’s illustrious “sessions”.

WEDNESDAY 25

THURSDAY 26

Burning Shapes, Pates Desabiye, Rp, Fredrik Sundstrom The Tunbridge

Adam Ant & The Good, The Mad And The Lovely Posse

Wells-based band plays indierock. The Troubadour, Old Brompton

The eccentric singer-songwriter performs his punk-infused pop hits. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10

Pop and easy listening by the Mercia-based artist. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £8.

Yorkshire-based vocalist sings gothic-infused rock. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15, adv £10.

The Platters The four-piece Andres Cepeda The multiple

play rock ‘n’ roll. The Bob

award-winning, Grammynominated Colombian singersongwriter plays Latin pop-rock.

Hope Theatre, Wythfield Rd, SE9 5TG (020 8319 4378). £17.50.

Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £25.

Swedish House Mafia

Pop-punk by the Detroit-based

House and techno from the DJ collective featuring Axwell, Steve Angello and Sebastian Ingrosso. Alexandra Palace,

band. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £8.

Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY (020 8365 2121). £27.50.

Here And Now, Lunar Dunes

Theatres Des Vampires

Psychedelic, prog and spacerock by the London, Frankfurt, York and Brighton-based band.

Symphonic, gothic metal from the Rome-based band.

Fireworks, The Wonder Years

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £10.

Dave Wang The veteran singer-songwriter from China performs pop. HMV Apollo,

Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £6.

0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£40.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £15.50.

Dead Prez Hip-hop from

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

Wilko Johnson The Canvey

Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £30-£108.

the New York-based twopiece. Relentless Garage, Highbury

The Copenhagen-based five piece plays soulful, psychedelic alt pop. University

Island guitarist and ex-Dr Feelgood member performs rock and blues. The Standard

Of London Union, Malet St, WC1E 7HY (0870 060 3777). £10.

Music Venue, Blackhorse Ln, E17 6DS (020 8503 2523). £12.

Supertramp frontman plays his progressive rock hits. Royal

Evan Christopher’s Django A La Creole Clarinettist

The Kooks Luke Pritchard

Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £27.50-£45.

Christopher, guitarists David Blenkhorn and Dave Kelbie and bassist Sebastien Girardot perform interpretations of swing classics, plus improvised pieces.

Ocean Electronica by the band from the Czech Republic.

Grand indie-folk with classicalleanings from the Brighton-based outfit. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd,

The Bloomsbury Theatre, Gordon St, WC1H 0AH (020 7388 8822). £10 & £20.

Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £12, adv £10.

SUNDAY 29

N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £10, adv £8.

Dance Gavin Dance, James Cleaver Quintet Post-hardcore

Los Pacaminos The band,

Belle And Sebastian Introspective indie-pop from the jaunty collective.

TUESDAY 24 Bedouin Soundclash The Toronto-based band blends reggae, dub, ska and soul. Koko, Camden High

Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £16.50.

Roger Hodgson The former

St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £14.

Funeral Party Indie-rock from the Californian fourpiece. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £10.50.

The Miserable Rich, We Used To Make Things, Josh Bray

leads the Brightonian indie-pop four-piece. York Hall, Old Ford Rd, E2 9PJ (020 8980 2243). £20.

WT Feaster Band, Virgil & The Accelerators, Mitch Laddi & His Band Funky blues-rock from the American outfit. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.50.

Zucchero Italian singer Adelmo Fornaciari performs rock from album Chocabeck. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £25-£40.

Beth Hart Soulful rock from the

The Mountain Goats

from the Californian six-piece.

led by vocalist Paul Young, plays Americana. Half Moon,

American singer-songwriter. The

Indie-rock from the American outfit. Koko, Camden High St,

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £11.

Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £12.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £25.

Miles Hunt & Erica Nockalls

Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and

General Surgery, Desecration, Abbadon Incarnate, Basement Torture Killings, Bloodshot Dawn, Decrepid, Trifixion, Diathesis Death metal by

Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.

NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £16.50.

The Naked And Famous Mor Karbasi, The Magic Lantern World music with

Alt pop by the band from New Zealand. The Barfly,

Wonder Stuff frontman Hunt and violinist Nockalls play an acoustic set. Half Moon,

flamenco and fado influences by the London-based singer.

Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £12.

Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £13.

Orchestre National De Barbes World music

Legend Easy listening, folk

Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15, adv £10.

Cass McCombs American folk-rock singer-songwriter. The Old Blue Last, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3ES (020 7739 7033). £10.

Olly Murs Pop from the

the Stockholm-based band.

by the French combo. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £15-£30.

Rush: Time Machine Tour 2011 Hard rock from the

The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £15.

New York plays ska, reggae and soul. O2 Academy Islington,

Covent Garden, Bedford St, WC2E 9ED (020 7836 5221). £10.

Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.50.

Mayday Parade Lively pop-

Anita Wardell Australian scat and bebop vocalist.

EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £15-£49.

The Forge Venue And Caponata Restaurant, Delancey St, NW1 7NL (020 7383 7808). £10, adv £9, concs £8, adv concs £7.

Jagjit Singh The award-

veteran Canadian three-piece.

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £27.50.

O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £45-£75.

Tete The African-born singersongwriter performs blues-tinted folk. Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn

Warpaint The Los Angelesbased four-piece plays experimental rock. HMV

Seasick Steve Rootsy blues from the eccentric American troubadour. Electric

Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £10.

Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £16.

Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £22.50.

punk by the Tallahassee-based combo. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £14.

Thea Gilmore The

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

The Zombies: 50th Anniversary Celebration Rock band featuring Colin Blunstone, Rod Argent, Chris White and Hugh Grundy. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £28.50.

Homay & Mastan, Symphony Orchestra The ensemble performs traditional Persian music. Barbican Centre, Silk St,

winning singer performs soulful Indian Ghazal music. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £15-£75.

tntonline For full listings info go to tntonline.co.uk/ whatson

Phil Sharp

Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £16.

The Slackers, Dirty Revolution The six-piece from

and classical, harmony-based crossover group of singers and musicians. St Paul’s Church,

2009 X Factor finalist. HMV

Oxfordshire singer-songwriter performs indie-rock. Union

soul from the seven-piece. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

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CLUB LISTINGS

MUSIC & CLUBS

MONDAY 23

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

Mark Knight lights up

Bite DJs Lydia, Ian, Marcus and Wade spin electro, leftfield indie, disco, dubstep, post-punk and pop. The Den

TOOLROOM KNIGHTS Minstry of Sound, 103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP Elephant & Castle (0870 060 0010, ministryofsound.com). June 18. £18. Mark Knight, the man behind cool house label Toolroom, is back for his residency at Ministry with D Ramirez and mash-up ninja Jaguar Skills.

& Centro, West Central St, WC1A 1JJ (020 7240 1083). 10pm-3am. £3 & £5, free before 11pm.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last entry 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, R‘n’B and funky house.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Rehab DJs Haley, Dan and Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 10.30pm.

Bubble Club DJ Factory plays pop and dance hits in the main hall, plus speed dating in the gallery. This night is run by people with learning disabilities.

No Time For Heroes Indie, electro, rock and pop from DJ Jay Holt and No Time For Heroes DJs, plus live music from Ruling Class and Black Sparrow.

Salsa Cellar Resident

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). 7.30pm-11pm. £5.

Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £5.

The Demonettes play indie, pop and electro. The Roxy, Rathbone

DJs play Latin funk and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). 7pm-late. £7, concs £4.

Cheapskates Old school hiphop and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Verve Couture DJ Sonathaq plays blues, funk and swing, plus live cabaret with Zak Black. The Shadow Lounge,

Dance Nights Princess Karina

Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, mems free.

(020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY

Guanabara Samba School

TUESDAY 24 Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!,

Samba, Afrobeat, pop, house and nu disco, plus Capoeira masterclasses, break dancers, Brazilian street food and cocktail making. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

spin Bollywood and R‘n’B. The Cobden Club, Kensal Rd, W10 5BN (020 7344 9727). 9pm-1.30am. £10-£15.

The Tassel Clubs Dinner Party Resident DJs play swing, soul, blues, pop and rock ‘n’ roll, plus live burlesque and cabaret. The Bathhouse, Bishopsgate Churchyard, EC2M 3TJ (020 7920 9207). 6pm-late. £10, £45 inc meal.

Your Mum’s House Scally

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim

Dandan and Jamie D Winter spin electro and fidget house. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN

Latino Sound DJ Kirisis and CLI

and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The

(020 7734 4004). 9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, £3 before 11pm.

play R‘n’B, hip-hop and dance.

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

FRIDAY 27 Britpop Special Indie

S.O.M.E DJs Cameo, Terror Danjah, Pitch Controllers and P Money play garage. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-2.30am. £2 before 11pm, £7 & £5 after 11pm.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). 7.30pm-3am. £10 before 11pm, adv £8.

Get Grooved Resident DJs play classic house. Gigalum,

Raj & Pablo’s Bollywood Nights DJ Krash and Senator

Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last entry 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-late. £5-£10.

Future Rock DJs play a mix of rock, metal, punk, alternative and indie, plus live music.

and Britpop DJ sets from Shaun Ryder, Shed 7, Northern Uproar and Mark Morris. Vibe Bar, Brick Ln, E1 6QL (020 7247 3479). 6pm-4am. £20, adv £10 & £15.

Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk.

THURSDAY 26

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3.

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics.

Raw Power DJ Darran Smith

Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

plays rock, metal and punk, plus Rise To Remain and Feed The Rhino perform live. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £7.

White Heat DJs Matty, Marcus and Olly play indie, punk, techno and electro. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10.30pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £4.

WEDNESDAY 25 Rob Ackroyd DJ Set The lead guitarist of Florence And The Machine plays an indie, pop, hip-hop and rock ‘n’ roll DJ set. Movida, Argyll St, W1F 7TF (020 7734 5776). 10pm-1am. £10

tntmagazine.com

Hip-hop from Just Blaze, Alchemist, Spin Doctor, Last Skeptik, Mr Thing and Chris P Cuts. Plan B, Brixton Rd, SW9 7AY (020 7737 7372). 10pm-4am. £12.

Anna Greenwood, Paul Simper, The Dreambears and Discob*tches play pop, party and dance. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). 9pm-3am. £15, adv £12.50.

Hed Kandi Andy Norman, Luke Neville, Sam Cannon and Ash Paine play soulful house, dance and electro. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 11pm-late. £20.

Kuch Kuch DJ Ritu plays Bollywood, bhangra, R‘n’B and chart. Apt, Queen St, EC4N 1TX (020 7618 9020). 10pm-3am. £20.

Muak DJ Spen, Karizma, Johnny Kaz, Sol Brown, Vincenzo Siracusa, Uner, Nacho Marco, Zaki and Tony Stevenson play techno, electro, house, Latin and Balearic house. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm11am. £17.50, adv £13-£16.50.

Puzzle Project Trance and psy trance from Phil Lankester, Matt Church, Metaphase, LK and Dean G. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-7am. £10, adv £5.

Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SW4 Festival Pre Party

Lost In London Cesar Ruiz,

Resident DJs play dance, house and electro. Gigalum,

Rachel Harvey, I Am Santiago, DJ Masa and Niroshan spin house, Latin and funky house.

Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 10pm-late. £15, NUS £12, £10, early bird £5.

We, Like You Benji Boko’s on the

Psychological Vampires Present DJs spin house and progressive trance, plus art and poetry. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm-6am. £20, adv £15.

Roller Disco Old school roller disco with DJ Lousie playing disco, funk, soulful house, electro and breakbeat. Renaissance Rooms, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-2am. £12.50.

Spangulation Marco La Rosa, Dave Bennett, Marc Antoine, Danny Covington and Dean G play trance and techno. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-7am. £12, £8 before midnight.

The Doctors Orders Present Panic! Max, Gaz and That

Guilty Pleasures: Club Tropicana DJs Sean Rowley,

SATURDAY 28

fly, off the cuff improvised live remixing mashes up the likes of Mozart vs. Missy, Dizzee vs. Depeche Mode and Snoop vs. Simpsons. Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes, Basement of Tavistock Hotel, Bedford Way, WC1H 9EU (020 7183 1979) 8pm-3am. £5 adv.

SUNDAY 29 Bank Holiday Sunday Pete BBE, Dr Bob Jones, Mark Webster and Eddie Piller play house and disco, plus Anane and Louie Vega perform live, with percussion from Sheyi. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 8pm-2am. £20, adv £15.

DJ Premier DJ Premier, DJ 279, DJ Snuff and Braydz play funk, soul and R‘n’B. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). 9pm-late. £14.50.

Bank Holiday Weekend House, R‘n’B, old skool and funk from DJs Mark Radford A Plus, La Petite DJ, JC Ents and Shaun Biggs. Club Colosseum, Nine

Garage Nation Weekender DJ EZ plays garage and dance.

Deepo Ivaylo, Patrick Turner and

Euphoria Angel Kiss, Oliver MARSH, Intro, Marc Phill, MEF and DJ AD play electro, house, techno, pop, dance and R‘n’B. Euphoriom, High St, W3

Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth

6NG (0208 993 2915). 9pm-late. £10, ladies free before 11pm.

Carwash Dexter, Charlie Angel and resident DJs play disco, soul, Motown, funk and hip-hop.

Trio, Jamie Tennant, Hemlock and Miss KT9 play house and trance. Club 414, Coldharbour

Fabriclive DJ Hype, DJ Marky, Hazard, DJ Die, Brookes Brothers, Pascal, Sub Zero, IC3, Skibadee, Funsta MC, Stamina MC, Fats, Ali B, A Skillz and Fort Knox Five play house, electro and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse

Proud 2 at The O2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 7482 3867). 10pm-7am. £10 & £12, adv £8.

Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 10pm-6am. £10, adv £8, £5 before 11pm, mems free before 11pm.

Disorder And Progress Gringo

SW4 Festival Pre Party

Da Parada supplies Brazilian beats, samba and funk. Notting

Resident DJs play dance, house and electro. Gigalum,

St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-7am. £16, adv £20 inc CD, adv £15, NUS £10, £7 after 3am.

Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, £6 before 11pm, free before 8pm.

Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Fabric Adam Beyer, Alan Fitzpatrick, Carl Cox, Christian Varela, Enzo Siragusa, Geddes and Yousef play house and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 9pm-4am. £15.

Gravity House, R‘n’B and commercial pop across three rooms, from residents The Oli, Alan K, Oliver M and Jamie Head. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 11pm-8am. £10, w/flyer £6 before 3am, guestlist £3 before 3am, £1 before midnight.

Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm-4.30am. £15, adv £10.

IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). 10pm-late. £12.50.

Just Groove Spring Bank Holiday Special The Dynamic

Viva La House Nick Holder, Nick

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

Doe, Manio, Dominique Danielle, Shifty, Jayson Smythe and Ricky Ward supply dubstep, house and electro, with Bucie. Area, , SE1 7HD (020 7091 0080). 10pm-6am. £10-£15.

CLUBBING

CLUB GUIDE

Annie Mac: quite good at the cranial self-massage

MUSIC & CLUBS

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK ANNIE MAC PRESENTS Is it time for another long weekend already? Clubland loves an extra day to indulge in dance – or just to recover. Radio 1’s queen of cool, Annie Mac, is back with a night of heavy and bass-fuelled beats and this time she’s taking over Brixton Academy. There’ll be a set by the lovely Ms Mac herself, plus dubstep duo Skream & Benga and more mayhem from Breakage live featuring Jessie Mills and Shy FX.

» O2 Academy Brixton, 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL Brixton (020 7771 3000, o2academybrixton.co.uk). Sat, May 28, 9.30pm-4am. £20 adv.

EASTERN ELECTRICS

DON’T FORGET

Big, chunky electro, filthy dubstep and techno beats descend on to Eastern Electrics’ mammoth warehouse event this May bank holiday. With names like producer extraordinaire James Holden, DC10 spinner Clive Henry and Hamburg’s genre-splitting DJ Koze, it’s gonna be a good ‘un. Room hosts include some of London’s finest including Mulletover and Bloc.

It’s the second Thursday night beatfest bought to you by Fabric in a matter of weeks as the superclub raises dosh for the victims of the quakes in Japan and NZ. There’s an impressive line up as techno heavyweight Carl Cox, progressive house star John Digweed plus Adam Beyer, Jon Rundell and Yousef waive their fee to rock out this charity club night.

» Great Suffolk Street Warehouse, SE1 0NS Borough (easternelectrics. com). Sun, May 29, 10pm7am. From £22.50 adv.

» Fabric, 77a Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ Farringdon (020 7336 8898, fabriclondon.com). Thu, May 26, 9pm-4am. £15 adv

WIN

We have a pair of tickets to Eastern Electrics featuring James Holden at Great Suffolk Street Warehouse to give away. To enter, send an email to grabs@tntmagazine.com with ‘Eastern Electrics’ in the subjectline by noon, Wed, May 25.

CLUB NEWS With his own iPhone app already on the go, David Guetta’s joining the Android army too. The Android app will feature exclusive content, behind-the-scenes videos, new tracks and access to the DJ’s Facebook Fan Wall. “We already have a really active community on the web, and I believe that thanks to the application I will be able to interact with a lot of new fans,” Guetta said. The app will be embedded into Sony Ericsson Xperia handsets from June and for Orange customers from the Orange App Shop. Mayfair’s ooh-la-la club Luxx is hosting the VIP area at London’s LED Festival in Victoria Park next month.

David Guetta

The club’s resident DJs will play house tunes in the exclusive VIP Arena to peeps who forked out more than £90 for the premium tickets, which also include luxury loos and a souvenir Deadmau5 T-shirt. Pleb tickets are also available for £42. See ledfestival.net

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WORLD VIEW strange tales from around the globe United Kingdom

NUNS DODGING BALLS Torquay Golf Club is being forced to change the layout of its grounds after nuns at a nearby school complained of being hit by flying balls. The nuns have recently bought two Georgian houses near to the course and were in the process of refurbishing it, which will include the installation of a glass conservatory. Colin Nolan, secretary of Torquay Golf Club, said the issue is not unusual for golf clubs, adding: “If the odd ball was going over the wall it would be all right, but when it is two or three balls a day then it becomes a problem. “The nuns don’t want golf balls to hit them on the head or damage the glass conservatory they’re building and have to pay the bill. And we don’t want to cause anyone any problem either. We just want to be good neighbours.”

TWEETS OF THE WEEK follow @tntmagazine @GeorgeTakei Schwarzenegger confesses to fathering baby with house staff member, but explains that child is destined to bring down SkyNet in 2031. @scrappy555 (James Stassen) If you watch Godzilla vs. King Kong backwards it’s about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city @BorowitzReport (Andy Borowitz) Candidate for President of France, arrested for sexual assault, will now run for President of Italy.

Guess who wants his money back: It’s so frustrating when a forecast apocalypse – one ‘guaranteed by the Bible’ no less – doesn’t turn out as hoped. The upside is that the cap and t-shirt should fetch a few bucks at the next garage sale

I remember my first time

United States

25,000 BIG MACS EATEN

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Australia

SPACE BEER BREWED Two Australian entrepreneurs plan to be ahead of the curve by releasing a space-age beer that

can be enjoyed in zero-gravity conditions. Looking ahead to a future of growing suborbital tourism, they have developed a fullbodied brew they believe can stand up to the trials of imbibing in space, including swelling tongues that diminish the sense of taste. “Your face puffs out a little bit, your tongue swells up a little bit – it’s not extreme, but kind of like having a bad head cold,” Jason Held, who developed the Vostok 4 Pines Stout, said. “So we wanted to have a flavour that would be strong enough, that would punch through that.”

Getty Images; Thinkstock Images

Burger fanatic Don Gorske has been honoured at his local McDonald’s after eating his 25,000th Big Mac. Gorske is certain of his tally because he is so obsessed by the burgers, he has kept all his receipts, plus 10,000 Big Mac cartons and the calendars dating back to May 17, 1972, when he enjoyed his first. The prison guard from

Wisconsin usually eats two a day and keeps two in his luggage in case he can’t find a McDonald’s when he travels. “I plan on eating Big Macs until I die,” he said. “I have no intentions of changing. It’s still my favourite food. Nothing has changed in 39 years. I look forward to it every day.” Gorske’s discovered Big Macs when he bought three of them to celebrate the purchase of a new car. He was hooked, and went back to McDonald’s twice more that day, eating nine before they closed.

WEEK IN NUMBERS

China

BEWARE THE WATERMELONS

2455

Arguments per year for the average co-habitating couple, according to a survey by an insurance company

353,000

Pounds won by a Glasgow man after placing a £1 bet on a seven-horse accumulator. Not bad for a day’s punting

Landmines were never so refreshing

even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.” “Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your doorstep.”

P18 Relationship advice P56 Cornwall’s rugged coast

ODD SEAHORSE FOUND

United States

SURVIVE THE ZOMBIES Are you worried about a wave of zombies leaving civilisation in ruins and forcing you to flee your home and live wild? Well, good thing then America’s Centers For Disease Control And Prevention has published a useful guide to help you survive. In a blog post titled Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse, the centre’s assistant surgeon, General Ali Khan, wrote: “You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll

Intrepid marine biologists have discovered new species during the country’s largest scientific expedition exploring the Kermadec Islands. One of them is just a boring old miniature flounder, but the other one is a pipe fish, a straightened-out seahorse with orange spots which scientists believe is new to science. “We have two species that I’m pretty confident are new to science – a little left-eye flounder and a pipe fish, Auckland Museum marine curator Dr Tom Trnski said. “We suspect the flounder doesn’t grow very big as the largest one we have collected is just 10 centimetres long, but it’s a pretty wee thing. “Probably the most exciting find is the pipe fish. Pipe fish are related to seahorses, and are really just like a sea horse that has been straightened out.” Next question: can you eat it? Maybe on a barbecue, seasoned with lime and paprika?

Getty Images; Thinkstock Images

And finally... PRICEY TOILET SEAT The much-derided hat worn by Princess Beatrice to Britain’s royal wedding last month – likened to a toilet seat – is up for sale on eBay where bids have surpassed £20,000.

“I hope whoever wins the auction has as much fun with the hat as I have,” Beatrice said of the auction. Australian children’s group The Wiggles bid £17,500.

Cash, in US dollars, found by a man in the attic of his new home. He returned the money to the previous owner

Months Venezuelan driver Ramon Parra will be without his licence – the first such suspension in his country’s history

æ 73

New Zealand

Duck and roll won’t cut it

40,000

It was ‘funny hat’ day

Years between marriages for 98-yearold US bride Agnes Anderson – she wore the same dress in both ceremonies

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

put “onRomania Dallas to show how corrupt the American system was and they all said, ‘Yeah we want some of it’

”

US actor Larry Hagman, who played JR Ewing in Dallas, reckons his show helped bring down communism

NEWS & SPORT

Chinese farmers have been caught on the hop by a new epidemic of exploding watermelons. The effect is believe to be caused by farmers overdosing their crops with growth chemicals. China Central Television reported that about 20 farmers around Danyang city in Jiangsu province have been affected, losing up to 45 hectares of fruits, describing the watermelons as “landmines”. “On May 7, I came out and counted 80 (burst watermelons) but by the afternoon it was 100,” farmer Liu Mingsuo said. “Two days later I didn’t bother to count anymore.” Watermelons fetch a high price in China, prompting inexperienced farmers to rush into the market and try to maximise their harvest. It’s a truly explosive story.

Predators claim their victims’ heads as trophies

, n e e r c s e h t On in the dock The beheading of a British expat in Tenerife echoes a famous sci-fi movie but can violent movies really inspire murder? WORDS TOM STURROCK

ven in a media landscape saturated with violence, last week’s events in Tenerife, where British expat Jennifer Mills-Westley was beheaded in a supermarket, induced unmitigated revulsion. It has since emerged Deyan Deyanov, the homeless man accused of killing the 60-year-old, was obsessed by the Predator films and he may have been mimicking the intergalactic bounty-hunter, which claims the head of its prey as a trophy. Lending further credence to that theory, Deyanov, 28, who has been remanded in a psychiatric unit of a prison in Tenerife,

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has several characters from the Predator language tattooed on his arms. The incident once again sparks the debate about whether violent films can influence unhinged individuals. Vivienne Pattison, chairman of Media Watch UK, which campaigns for family values in the media, points to an accumulative desensitisation. “Not everyone who watches those films will snap and turn into raving maniacs,” Pattison says. “But people who have those imbalances, they may be affected more by that drip-drip of violent film.”

‘IT’S JUST GORE-PORN’ Pattison is quick to emphasise that there is no explicit relationship between a violent film and a violent act – filmmakers are not directly responsible for any crimes committed by their audience. “Of course it would be ridiculous to say that everyone who sees those films would behave that way,” she says. “But the film may exacerbated existing tendencies.” It is, of course, impossible to know what a killer is thinking when they attack – whether they truly acting out their

The Saw films are an excuse to ‘tear people apart in different ways’

NEWS & SPORT 39 Deyan Deyanov had violent fantasies

Adults are free “ to choose their entertainment ”

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fantasy or not – but Pattison argues gratuitous violence in cinema should be curbed nevertheless. “A lot of the violence in films, why is it necessary? What effect might it have on some people? You look at some of the films, like the Saw franchise – it’s just gore-porn,” she says. “Where is the art in that? It’s just tearing people apart in different ways. “Isn’t it just appealing to our lowest common denominator?”

ERRONEOUS CONNECTIONS Charles Manson was obsessed by the Beatles; the Columbine gunmen were apparently influenced by Marilyn Manson, The Basketball Diaries and Natural Born Killers; and, in Britain, James Bulger’s killers reportedly drew inspiration from the Child’s Play films. Sue Clark, spokesman for the British Board of Film Classification, insists the impact of media violence is habitually overstated. “It’s a natural response to a catastrophe, to look for that causal effect,” Clark says. “We get this every time and erroneous connections are made. “There is no evidence to say there is any direct correlation between watching violent films and then committing violent acts.”

Clark makes the elementary point that the vast majority of movie-watchers are able to relate to film violence without suffering homicidal after-effects. “People are much more media-literate – they’re able to assimilate and understand what is being presented,” she says. “Directors are always pushing boundaries but the vast majority understands these film conventions, and it’s the majority who we classify for.”

WORTH THE RISK? Clark betrays a weariness with the knee-jerk, opportunistic even, calls for tighter censorship in the wake of violent crimes where a film or video game is superficially implicated. “For every person who says a film or video game is not suitable,

there’s another who says there should be no censorship at all,” she says. “But in all our consultation, we find people feel adults should be free to choose their own entertainment – we can’t classify for a tiny minority who might or might not be influenced by any given film.” For Pattison, though, the debate has taken on a public safety dimension that supersedes the liberal conceit of artistic freedom. “If a drugs company wanted to put a new drug on the market, but it was shown to be harmful to people, it wouldn’t be made available,” she says. “We need to look at the cost to society. We should remember that films are put out there as entertainment – is it really worth the risk?”

‘IT’S THE DEVIL’S WORK’ Naturally, any pro-censorship movement is balanced out by advocates who utterly rejections those objectives. Mary Hayward, secretary of the Campaign Against Censorship, has little time for those who want tighter controls. “They want some outside influence to have been at work. Five hundred years ago it would have been the devil, today it’s the television or the computer,” Hayward says.

Chucky was implicated in the murder of James Bulger

“They have no right to inflict their fears on everyone else.” Hayward also dismisses the suggestion that violent media can inspire violent crimes. “Personality determines choice, not choice personality,” she says. “The claim that watching violent fiction makes people behave violently in the real world is essential to the procensorship case and it is false. “Unstable individuals went out and killed strangers in the street before film was invented. How many violent movies had Jack the Ripper seen?”

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WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

WIN RUGBY TICKETS FOR YOU & 3 MATES On Saturday, June, 4, Wales take on the mighty Barbarians in a celebratory match marking the 130th anniversary of the Welsh Rugby Union. Sam Warburton will captain the Wales team which includes Gavin Henson and Stephen Jones, who will receive his 100th cap. Jones now joins Gareth Thomas as the most capped player in Welsh rugby history. The Baa-Baas side will feature the likes of South African World Cup winners Francois Steyn and Ruan Pienaar, Italian talisman, Sergio Parisse and 98-times capped Welshman, Martyn Williams. Kick off is at 2.30pm at the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff. Tickets start at ÂŁ15. See wru.co.uk/tickets

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

Chavs and bogans (inset) have much in common but also some crucial differences

Tom Sturrock tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

ake no mistake – the made-over monstrosities paraded in ITV’s The Only Way Is Essex are chavs; they’re rich chavs decked out in bling and fake tan, but they’re stills chavs. Chavs v2.0 if you like. Traditionally, chavs sprung up on council estates, sharing a lineage with hooligan culture, identifiable by their love of adidas and superstrong cider. Now, they’re the nouveau riche and they want all the trinkets that are their dues. A similar phenomenon can be observed within the Australian bogan population, historically found in the outer suburbs or regional centres – ockers with conspicuously lowbrow taste in clothes, booze, music and media who assume casual racism passes for a sense of humour. But some bogans have made a mint in trades, spawning new, more powerful offspring: the cashed-up bogan. So who, out of Australia and England, has the more embarrassing underclass? Which specimen makes their countrymen cringe more? For mine, the bogan is preferable for one reason: authenticity. They know what they are and remain unabashed, even if they can now afford to buy a new ute. Chavs, on the other hand, are desperate not

to be chavs. That’s why they’re so ghastly. But both Australia’s bogans and England’s chavs are infinitely less dislikeable than toffs, displayed in all their bile-inducing glory in the E4 show Made In Chelsea. The girls are spoiled and vapid, but it’s the guys who make the eyes water. Simply put, they are complete wankers. Absurdly posh and pathologically smug, these lads, with their ridiculous Sloane drawls, are utterly convinced of their own coolness, despite sporting some of TV’s most obnoxious hair. The bogans and the chavs might be crass and criminally inclined, but I’d pay good money to watch one of these salt-of-the-earth types give those bloody toffs a good slap.

SWINGING DICKS DIDN’T GROW UP Between Arnold Schwarzenegger being rumbled for fathering a

It was a bad “week for dirty old men ” child with a member of his household staff and IMF boss Dominique Strauss-Kahn in all kinds of trouble over sexual assault charges, it was a bad week for dirty old men. It’s all very well for people to tut-tut and disapprove – and certainly, if the charges

against Strauss-Kahn are proven, he’ll get far worse. Amid the carnival of moral outrage, though, it’s worth noting that Schwarzenegger has form when it comes to groping women and presumably Strauss-Kahn’s modus operandi had proved successful previously. Both men were able to behave badly, criminally even, beyond an age when most men learn to behave because their lecherousness was accommodated, given tacit permission where it should have met with disapproval.

P14 Celeb snapping P61 Explore Munich

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NEWS & SPORT

The haves vs chavs? Bogans trump both

SPORT VIEW bite-sized action and analysis Rugby union

CARTER TO STAY PUT All Blacks key playmaker Daniel Carter has re-signed with the New Zealand Rugby Union and the Crusaders until 2015. The deal means the flyhalf, widely regarded as the best player in that position in the world, will be tied to New Zealand through to the 2015 World Cup. Carter, 29, who has played 79 Tests for the All Blacks, said he had received significant offers to take his services overseas. “This has been an incredibly important decision for me personally,” he said. “I have received some significant offers to play overseas, which were both flattering and tempting. But, in the end, the overriding factor for me was the All Blacks jersey.” Meanwhile, Wallabies star Quade Cooper signed a one-year contract extension with the Australian Rugby Union which keeps him with the Queensland Reds beyond the World Cup.

P45 The best of the EPL P61 Weekend in Munich

Football

FFA COLD ON RE-RUN The Football Federation Australia has played a straight bat to suggestions the vote to host the 2022 Fifa World Cup could be re-run – should allegations of bribery against Qatar’s bid be proven. Fifa president Sepp Blatter has refused to completely rule out the idea of Qatar being stripped of hosting rights, raising some hope Australia’s bid could be revived after it was the first country eliminated during voting. But the FFA would not buy into the speculation on Friday, saying it could not take a position on what was only a hypothetical.

BIG WEEK FOR .......

“FFA has yet to seriously consider its position following the Fifa president’s comments about the 2022 World Cup bidding process,” a FFA spokesman said.

Rugby union

CIPRIANI WANTS OUT English import Danny Cipriani could cut short his stint playing for the Melbourne Rebels, with reports emerging that the playmaker may return to play in England. Cipriani earned a reputation as a party animal long before heading to Australia and has since been dropped on separate occasions for breaches of discipline. Cipriani’s management have reportedly contacted Premiership side Bath about the possibility of the 23-year-old fly-half returning. “We have been contacted by Danny Cipriani’s representatives but he is not top of our list,” Bath boss Nick Blofeld said.

resolved, saying that the Sea Eagles could end it simply by calling him. The spat between the league boss and one of its brightest stars has been building in recent weeks. Stewart has wanted an apology for the way he was treated by the NRL in 2009 when he was banned for four matches after being charged with sexual assault, a charge on which he was subsequently cleared. “If they’re still unhappy, they can always pick up the phone if they want to,” Gallop told the Sydney Morning Herald. “I don’t see the mileage in continually reminding people of what happened two years ago and I remain very comfortable with the decisions we took.’’ Brett Stewart

Rugby league

GALLOP DISMISSES FEUD NRL chief David Gallop offered hope that his feud with Manly star Brett Stewart could be

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■ Samantha Stosur heads into this year’s French Open as one of the two or three players most likely to lift the trophy at the end of the tournament. Stosur went all the way to the final last year so knows how to win in Paris. She’s drawn to meet top seed Caroline Wozniacki in the last eight, but Stosur would likely prefer to face the lightweight Dane than Kim Clijsters or Maria Sharapova, who are both on the other side of the draw.

Worth every penny: Miami Heat’s LeBron James dunks against the Chicago Bulls in the NBA’s conference finals – that’s the semi-finals in any other language, because there are four team left in the running. It all goes down this week.

England will turn out for their first Test since winning the Ashes

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

the Reds and it’s different ... it’s like school stuff while we are at war

”

Highlanders coach Jamie Joseph reckons Australian Super 15 derbies are glorified pillow fights

are going “to They make these floods back in Queensland look like an absolute mimic Preview … the summer of cricket begins ENGLAND V SRI LANKA, FIRST TEST Thursday 10am, Sky Sports 1 Once the cricket starts, it’s officially summer and it promises to be an interesting season on these shores. England’s Test cricketers are riding a wave of success and talk of becoming the world’s best side – utterly fanciful 12 months ago – will build to a tumult if they get over the top of Sri Lanka in their three-Test series, before India arrive in July. England will start as warm favourites against Sri Lanka. The jubilation of winning the Ashes has been deflated by a poor showing at the World Cup and, although this is the first time the Test side has run out since beating Australia, coach Andy Flower and captain Andrew Strauss will ensure the page has been turned and minds are entirely

focused on the challenges that lie ahead. The home side boasts a significant advantage in the conditions – Sri Lanka generally rely on their spinners but no longer have Murali Muralitharan to hold up one end. And Lasith Malinga, one of their few genuinely dangerous pacemen, is missing from the squad after falling out with his country’s board. It all points to another series of the likes of Alastair Cook and Jonathon Trott filling their boots, as they did Down Under during the last southernhemisphere summer. It will be interesting to see whether England prefer Steve Finn or Chris Tremlett – or perhaps even a third bowler – to round out their pace attack and which of Eoin Morgan and Ravi Bopara replaces Paul Collingwood in the middle order.

”

NSW Origin legend Ben Elias evokes recent natural disasters to talk up the Blues’ chances. Lacks class

he came out “of Ifretirement, which he’s not going to do, he would still dominate

”

Shane Watson on the retiring Shane Warne (below), who he played alongside in the Indian Premier League

Getty Images

The Chat … CRISTIANO RONALDO ON THE MOVE? What’s the story? The rumour is that Real Madrid are considering selling their star player to an English club, but have put a ridiculously high £150m price tag on him. Any truth to it? Speculation is that Ronaldo has fallen out with Jose Mourinho. Alternatively, Ronaldo might just be causing trouble in an attempt to

secure a pay rise. It’s hard to imagine Real selling their prize asset or any clubs stumping up that kind of cash. Who would be interested? Manchester City and Chelsea are the only contenders. In other news, it was revealed that Premier League clubs lost £500m last year, so it’s not a great time to be spashing out on a Portuguese prima donna.

TV HIGHLIGHTS RUGBY LEAGUE Queensland v NSW Wednesday 10.30am, Sky Sports 1 Game one of Origin. Will be massive RUGBY SEVENS Edinburgh sevens Saturday-Sunday, 10.30am Sky Sports 3 The season’s final tournament RUGBY UNION Reds v Crusaders Sunday 7am, Sky Sports 3 A major litmus test for the Reds

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NEWS & SPORT

You watch the “Waratahs play

I N PAR TN E R SHIP W I TH

Wales v Barbarians DHL Challenge 4 June 2011 Kick off 2:30pm

Get your tickets now

Prices start at Â£15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Family tickets available

Call 08442 777 888 or visit wru.co.uk/tickets

or contact your local rugby club for information

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SPORT VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

Parker

Holloway

Carew

????

Gomes

Grant

It was shy, awkward and over too soon

“You are talking out of your hat. I would like to say out of your ass, but that’s a donkey and I don’t like having a go at donkeys”. Oh, for more space. We’ll miss you, Olly. • Biggest twat: Wayne Rooney The swearing-into-the-camera thing was so unnecessary. Everyone knew how good he was when he scored against Man City with a superb bicycle kick, so why ruin it? Perhaps he was trying to make up for his showing earlier in the season when two hookers described his efforts in a threesome as “shy, awkward and over too soon”. • Worst kept secrets: Superinjunction revealations Can’t do it here. You’ll have to head to Twitter to get all the dirt on the root-rats. And shame on you if you do – that really is gossip.

Jahn Vannisselroy jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

Getty Images, YouTube

nd so the EPL is over for another year. At the start of the season, someone (a woman) described sport to me, football in particular, as gossip for men – some sort of accepted celebwatch for those with testicles. Not quite, but it sure has been another colourful year. Here’s my picks of the season: • Best speech: Scott Parker. “It was inspirational. If you were in there you’d have a tear in your eye,” was how Carlton Cole described his skipper’s half-time rallying call when West Ham were down 0-3 to West Brom. Apparently, family and fans were mentioned in the “stirring” talk, after which Parker’s team went out and scored three goals to escape with a point. If Tony Robbins wants a protege, he knows where to go. • Stupid Fashion Statement: Neck tatts See DJ Campbell, Jermaine Beckford et al. These guys are paid thousands a week but still want be ‘street’ and look like up-and-coming LA gangbangers. However, the worst offender was Stoke/ Villa’s John Carew, who in January revealed his above-the-collar effort, a French inscription supposed to say: “My Life, My Rules.” Instead, a misplaced accent meant it read: “My Life, My Menstruation.”

“

”

• Best Impression Of A Corpse: Avram Grant, West Ham Lighten up Avram, you miserable bastard. It might help your teams win a game every now and then. • Biggest Goofball: Heurelho Gomes, Tottenham Was there grease on his gloves? Catch the ball, butterfingers – you’re playing top-flight now. • Sorry to see you go: Ian Holloway, Blackpool The straight-talking, scrappy, ashonest-as-they-come Tangerines’ manager was a breath of fresh air in 2010/11. Consider this gem:

BACK IN THE DAY… English rugby fans need a new reference point for the NZ game. At the pub last week yet another banged on to me about “Jonah ‘Loomao’, mate” It was 16 years ago, ‘mate’. It’s over. Lomu was a legend but we’ve got this new guy, Sonny Bill Williams, who’s becoming a handy pro boxer on the side. Turns out your hero Lomu may be a bit miffed by the attention potential superstar SBW is getting and is putting the gloves on himself. In fact, he wants to fight Williams. No chance. Just like your World Cup challenge, mate.

P50 Summer jobs P70 Chill in Malawi

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NEWS & SPORT

A goofball, a grump and a (very) bad tattoo

NEWS & SPORT

Man of steel: Darren Lockyer

ORIGIN IMMORTALS ‘This one’s for Hopoate’: Brad Fittler

Who are the greatest players to represent Queensland and NSW in this epic interstate grudge match? WORDS TOM STURROCK

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STEVE MORTIMER (NSW) The legendary Bulldogs halfback was captain for the first NSW series victory in 1985 after the fired-up Maroons had claimed the first five instalments. Mortimer is regarded as one of NSW’s Origin trailblazers and the image of him, in his fifth and final Origin series, punching the ground in relief after victory, remains an enduring symbol of Origin’s importance.

ARTHUR BEETSON (QLD) Before the first Origin series in 1980, some naysayers questioned the players’ commitment to the concept. That scepticism was blown away when Queensland captain Arthur Beetson belted the lights out of Parramatta teammate Mick Cronin, who was playing for New South Wales.

Getty Images

n the world of professional sport, Australia’s State of Origin series is a rare breed – its visceral appeal a mystery to outsiders. After all, how can two blokes who play for the same team week-in, week-out go toe-to-toe when representing their states? The enduring fascination undoubtedly owes much to the time-honoured enmity between Queensland and New South Wales, to the history of the best of the north being lured south by the big money on offer. The Maroons love nothing more than sticking it up the Blues. This is the backdrop for a sporting event so steeped in mythology that, in the past, players have come to be defined as much by their performances for their states as for their clubs. So, as Origin 2011 kicks off this week, who are the men who have contributed most to this remarkable sporting tradition?

Hard graft: Cam Smith is a dominant Origin force

NEWS & SPORT

Beetson and Cronin sat next to each other on the plane home and no one ever again questioned whether Origin was fair dinkum.

CAMERON SMITH (QLD) Melbourne Storm’s star hooker has twice won the award as Queensland’s best player since forcing his way into the Queensland side in 2005. Smith strung together 19 consecutive Origin matches before succumbing to an elbow injury last year. Queensland’s current dominance may be built on their all-star backline, but Smith’s graft in the front row should never be overlooked.

GREG INGLIS (QLD) Unfortunately, Inglis’s decision to represent the Maroons is destined to remain a sore point – he was, after all, born and raised in New South Wales. Despite being picked arguably out of position in the first matches of his Origin career, Inglis has still managed to cross for 10 tries in his 13 matches – consider that Dale Shearer holds the record with 12 tries in 26 matches.

DARREN LOCKYER (QLD) Queensland’s great stalwart and skipper lines up for his final Origin campaign this year – hopefully he overcomes a shoulder injury to take his place on Wednesday. Regarded as his state’s greatest fullback, Lockyer, 34, has done it all for Queensland. Even in this current side, where he is surrounded by champions, it is often the old battler pulling the strings.

MAL MENINGA (QLD) The legendary goal-kicking centre starred for Queensland over a 15year career – the same bulldozing runs that marked Meninga as one of the alltime great league players were just as evident in Origin. And, incidentally, the Maroons are undefeated over a series since Meninga took over as coach in 2006, cementing his place in the Queensland pantheon.

BRAD FITTLER (NSW) He remains the Blues’ most capped player, having made 31 appearances – 14 as captain – and his contribution is reflected in the fact that the medal for NSW’s best player each year bears his name. As one of the most athletic five-eighths in the game’s history, Fittler produced some of his finest performances in the cauldron of Origin.

Getty Images

Lockyer has “ done it all for Queensland ”

SIX IN A ROW?

ANDREW JOHNS (NSW) Johns’ playmaking skills and freakish kicking formed the backbone of countless Blues victories between 1995 and 2005. Indeed, it was in 2005, the last series won by NSW, that Johns returned after several weeks on the sidelines with the Blues already 1-0 down. Unfussed, Johns produced two star turns to steer NSW to a series win.

Queensland won the first five Origin series to set a long-standing record, which the Maroons equalled last year. And certainly, there’s no reason they won’t go one better this year – they still boast plenty of stars in Darren Lockyer, Billy Slater, Johnathan Thurston and Cameron Smith, while Greg Inglis will miss game one, but should return for the last two games. NSW, though, may feel they have a better chance than in recent years – they have a couple of emerging stars, unscarred by previous Origin defeats, in Josh Dugan and Jamal Idris, and could reasonably hope that Darren Lockyer’s best may finally be behind him. The Blues will fancy their chances of causing at least one upset – and anything can happen in Origin – but it may well end up with the Maroons capturing a sixth title, such is the sheer weight of their talent.

WALLY LEWIS (QLD) No other player is as synonymous with Origin as Wally Lewis, whose eight man of the match awards is double any other player’s. Lewis will always be remembered for his farewell match, the 1991 decider. In the dying minutes, Lewis inspired the Maroons to a two-point win. The image of Lewis lifting the Origin trophy for the last time was made into a statue outside Suncorp Stadium.

Inglis was so fast he ran off the page

ALLAN LANGER (QLD) The Little General remains Queensland’s most capped player and became the oldest player in an Origin series when, in 2001, he returned from England to play in the deciding match at age 35. Many doubted his ability, but he starred, guiding the Maroons to victory. An automatic selection in Queensland’s Team of the Century.

3 2 1

tntjobs.co.uk BEST OF THE WEB SHERPA T: 020 7610 8620 www.eventsherpa.co.uk Sherpa is the event logistics and support division of the At Your Service group. We provide skilled and unskilled crew, drivers, porters and technicians to the UK’s most exciting events.

BOCCA DI LUPO T: 020-7734-2223 jobs@boccadilupo.com www.boccadilupo.com Bocca di Lupo is London’s best Italian restaurant, in the heart of Soho (Time Out & Evening Standard best restaurant; Michelin bib gourmand).

WAAP EVENT SERVICES LIMITED T: 01273 665 473 waap@live.co.uk WAAP is a well established supplier of temporary structures to the music festival, outdoor event and film industries. Its services are provided on sites throughout the UK.

BORNE RESOURCING T: 020 7470 8881 www.borneltd.com We supply permanent and contract employees to the education sector, including nursery nurses, primary & secondary teachers

JOB OF THE WEEK: Events Crew Location: London Salary: £6.50 - £10 per hour We are currently looking for pro-active team players to join our crew working backstage, at high profile events in and around London. If you are physically fit, reliable, articulate and well presented then please get in touch. apply@eventsherpa.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Waiter Location: Soho (Archer St) Salary: £10-£11/hour (full-time) We offer a fun, dynamic and supportive environment. You are experienced, committed and passionate about food and hospitality. Your customers will be enthusiastic, knowledgeable and appreciative. Together, we will be a match made in heaven. Please apply by email to jobs@boccadilupo.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Summer Marquee Crew Location: National Salary: On Application We are looking for crew to work from June to early September building marquees on sites across the UK. The job involves regular periods away from home. So, if you enjoy travelling and doing work which is physically demanding, please call or email us with your details. 01273 665 473 | waap@live.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Nursery nurse Location: Queens Park London Salary: £17,500 An ‘outstanding’ nursery with fantastic facilities for children and staff, require a nursery nurse with a minimum of 18 months experience and NVQ Level 3 in childcare & education or equivalent. Overseas candidate welcome. ! Paul Cunningham | 020 7470 8881 | paulc@borneltd.com

PEACH NURSING T: 01582 635 149 www.peachnursing.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Calling all Safa, Aussie and NZ nurses and carers!! Location: London Salary: Excellent Rates of pay

Peach Nursing is a specialised “Care in the Community” provider. We offer people support for clients who wish to be cared for within their home.

Peach Nursing is offering very good rates of pay for Nurses and Carers to work in the London area. Training given, all clients assessed prior to assignment, regular income guaranteed. Call or email us today to arrange an interview.

VIBE TEACHING T: 020 3178 2000 www.vibeteaching.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Consultants & teachers Location: Central London Salary: Great rates!

How can you be sure we’re the best? Why not ask someone. We support the Wildcats, Magpies, Anzac Rugby, Netball and Touch in London! Oh yeah, we also support you!

01582 635 149 | info@peachnursing.com

We are always looking for great teachers to work in our Central London schools, as well as great teachers to work with the team in the Vibe office. If you want to chat more, give us a call! Luke Callaghan | 020 3178 2000 | luke@vibeteaching.co.uk

LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT JOB? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Eddie Clinton| 020 3137 5650| eddie.clinton@tntmagazine.com

CAREERS Unemployed can now sell “street paper”

CAREERS & MONEY

ON THE JOB

DAVE HARVEY Career MD, Pucket Enterprises Age 28 Lives Brixton From Hampshire How did you get into your line of work?

As a student in France I saw two old men in the street playing a hilarious looking game. I made a copy (which we called “Pucket”) as a gift for my brother. We had so much fun playing I decided to start a company to publish it. This year we had our first big break by getting into Selfridges.

he unemployed can now sell The Big Issue as the publication widens its criteria to reflect the current economic climate. The “street paper”, which has been bought and sold for personal profit by the homeless for 20 years, said it aimed to give people an income and sense of purpose. John Bird, co-founder of the paper, said as the effect of the

spending cuts and depressed economy continued to bite more and more people were losing their jobs. “Allowing them to sell The Big Issue will hopefully keep them from being stuck on benefits,” he said. Mr Bird said there had been a rise in people approaching the Big Issue organisation asking if they could join the ranks of the 3000-odd vendors,

who buy the paper for £1 and sell it for £2. “It’s a sign of the times,” he said, adding that he could also see more people from all walks of life becoming homeless in the future – even currently well-paid professionals.

Best thing about your job?

FUTURE ‘HOPELESS’ A quarter of youngsters growing up in poor families in the UK believe their future is “hopeless”, according to a report. The “Broke, Not Broken” RBS study revealed 26 per cent of those from deprived homes think few or none of their

careers goals is achievable. It compares to just 7 per cent from affluent homes. Researchers spoke to more than 2300 16-to-24-year-olds for the survey. Martina Milburn, chief executive of The Prince’s Trust, said: “We simply cannot ignore this inequality.”

STEPS TO RECOVERY

I get to work with one of my best friends and we’re free to run the business ethically. It’s also great seeing customers play Pucket for the first time.

What do you do day-to-day?

A little bit of everything – pitching to new stockists, cutting out cardboard bits to prototype our new packaging, forecasting finances, writing copy for our website and, when the sun shines, taking the day off to go paragliding.

Getty Images, TNT Images

Big Issue for jobless

Most challenging aspect?

Getting paid. We’ve needed to re-invest most of the profits, so there’s not much left for wages.

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

Employers are predicting an increase in the jobs market as it takes “baby steps” towards recovery. The Chartered Institute Of Personnel And Development said many sectors, including manufacturing, are taking large strides forward.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

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CASHING IN ON SUMMER

Love working with kids or have a passion for cooking? Whatever your skill, make it earn you some dosh WORDS CAROL DRIVER

Summer camps are recruiting all-rounders

or seasonal workers, summer usually means one thing – kids. So if the prospect of spending most of your day surrounded by hordes of demanding youngsters doesn’t bring you out in a cold sweat, there’s money to be made. If, however, kids aren’t your scene, there’s still plenty of money to be made, and good times to be had, in the hospitality, cooking and entertainment industries.

Earn your stripes as a chef

tntmagazine.com

YOUNG AT HEART You’ll need to have a passion for working with children and be up for anything – arts, singing lessons, swimming coaching, tennis – at summer camp. Working at places like Barracudas, which has sites across London, means you don’t even need to leave the city to make some extra summer pennies. The day-facility for kids aged four to 16 has more than 100 activities – including quad biking, archery, climbing and

fencing – which means you’ll need to thrive on being active. Stacey Willison, recruitment administrator, says no experience is necessary for some roles, and they recruit for all levels, from the junior group assistant to management. You’re required to work about 40 hours Monday-Friday – and it’s full on. “You need to be enthusiastic, competent, able to learn really quickly and able to think on your feet. And you must have a passion for working with children,” she advises potential recruits. For your troubles, you’ll take home between £210 and £290 per week and contracts are between two and six weeks between July and August. See barracuda.co.uk Or there’s Camp Beaumont, which has 11 sites across London and the Home Counties. They recruit for all levels, from work experience and assistant group

Work back-of-house at venues such as The Royal Albert Hall

CAREERS & MONEY 51 Improve your bar skills

leaders to lifeguards and TEFL teachers. You’ll be looking after children aged three to 16 and take home between £136 to £225pw for about a 40-hour week. Check out campbeaumont.com.

TNT Images

SOMETHING MORE ADULT? If the thought of working with excitable kids fills you with dread, there are other ways to rake in some cash and keep your sanity in check. How about behind the scenes at some of the capital’s most iconic entertainment venues? Sherpa recruits back-of-house crew for events such as conferences at the O2 and gigs at The Royal Albert Hall. But, as the company name suggests, it’s hard graft. Amy McAlister, bookings manager, says: “Our guys are Sherpas, like the guys who do all the heavy lifting in the Himalayas. “From catering work to production work, our Sherpas are the backbone of the production. It’s all about teamwork and attitude. You’ve got to get your sleeves rolled up and get stuck in. “We recruit skilled or unskilled for various positions including lighting/ sound technicians and riggers.” Sherpas will work a minimum of four hours up to 14-hour shifts and pocket at least £6.50ph. To be considered, email your CV by visiting eventssherpa.co.uk. SOME FRESH AIR PERHAPS? As this summer is forecast to be a cracking one, you might want to spend more of your time outdoors. There are tonnes of vacancies in hospitality – you could find yourself pulling pints at a festival or waiting on revellers at a film premiere. Lucy Hall (lucyhall.co.uk) recruits bar staff, waiters, chefs and porters for events, including parties, concerts and gigs. You’ll need to have experience in

working behind a bar, cheffing or waiting. It’s mainly evening and weekend work – which does mean you’ll have your days free for sunbathing and you’ll need to have a “dynamic and outgoing personality”. Ben Leary, director, says: “You will need to be motivated, reliable, able to communicate confidently, possess initiative, have a flexible and positive attitude and above all be keen to learn and deliver the highest standards of service to our clients.”

TASTE THE DIFFERENCE If you’ve got previous cheffing experience, earn some extra dosh cooking at venues across London. You could be cheffing at five-star hotels or feeding festival revellers, earning between £9-£15ph. Oliver Townsend, manager at HHC London, says recruits can work as much as they like, but you need to have about four years’ experience. “Work-wise, a lot of the guys are travelling, so they can work for as long as they need to. They need to be flexible and able to pick up a job and get stuck in, whether it’s a high-end event or a function at a museum.” Find out more at heatlondon.com.

VOLUNTOURISM If payment isn’t your main reason for finding extra work over the summer, consider volunteering. This could be supporting children and adults with learning difficulties or even covering for a few hours in your local charity shop. Kith & Kids is on the lookout for recruits to look after disabled youngsters and their families. Based in North London, the charity is appealing for people to host social development projects over the summer. They run for between five and 10 days, and are packed with activities such as sport, crafts and drama. Spokesman Rich Pickup, from New Zealand, says it’s a great way for people to connect with the London community. “One of the things that I noticed when I was a volunteer was how surprised people were when I told them how enjoyable and fun our projects are. Many times people expected that the volunteering would be just hard work, but it’s really rewarding.” See kithandkids.org.uk

CHEF DE PARTIES AND ABOVE REQUIRED FOR ONGOING CASUAL

WORK FOR THE SUMMER AND BEYOND

Chefs Needed for Music Tours and Music Festivals - VIP /Stadium Backstage Catering /Event Caterers/4-5 Star Hotels/Restaurants Work could be on an weekly/monthly basis or a day here or there around your full time job it is up to you. (Basically you can work as much or as little as you want; for as long as you want to!) Work would be predominately Monday to Friday 8am-6pm, with functions 2-3 times a week in the evenings or weekends (depending on business levels). You could be working in Stadiums, Music Festivals, Palaces, Private homes and Historic buildings in and around London, and creating buffets, canapé receptions and lavish banquets for a large range of clients - from awards ceremonies to film premieres to Royal receptions. £9 - £15 per hour ¸Ltd Company and Self Employed Welcome ¸Weekly Pay ¸Varied Hours ¸Ongoing Work CV, Level 2 Hyg Cert. ¸Legality to Work Ess.

Phone 0203 142 7117 Email: oliver@heatlondon.com www.heatlondon.com

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CAREERS & MONEY

MONEY

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

Tegan Lisyak

Rising food prices are a big worry

Finances at ‘breaking point’ he weekly cost of living has soared by £54 over the past six months, research reveals. Price rises across the board are pushing the typical adult to a financial “breaking point”, a Moneysupermarket.com study found. It comes as official figures show inflation surged to its

MAKES YOUR MONEY GO FURTHER

tntmagazine.com

“Consumers are not only battling rising day-to-day costs and a reduced level of disposable income, many are also having to deal with pay freezes, which means … their incomes are being reduced.” For 23 per cent of people quizzed, rising food costs was the biggest worry.

TAKING THE BISCUIT

HARRODS’ APPY DAYS

The switch to simple luxuries has seen the biscuit market soar 22 per cent since 2005 to £2.2bn. Cash-strapped Brits are eating more digestives and custards creams than ever as they cope with increasing financial worries. Some 50 per cent regularly dunk biscuits, Mintel found.

High-end luxury store Harrods has launched an iPhone app. The device’s main purpose is to navigate shoppers through the building to the department they need. It also includes its history, a 3D visual and an events calendar. It’s free to download this week from Apple’s app store.

How do you budget in London?

Work out what your outgoings are and then put your budget in place. Cook at home rather than eating out all the time, and take lunch to work. I think the cost of living is comparable to most main cities. Any money-saving tips?

Flat sharing is essential as you will save on the overall costs of living. Be sure to buy an Oyster card. Last big blowout?

We went to the Arcadia club in Borough to see John Digweed. We also splurged for a hotel round the corner to save getting a taxi. What non-essential items do you buy?

Clothes and entertainment are the main ones!

GASTRONOMIC DELIGHTS As the world’s dearest ice lollies – made of premium tequila and 24-carat gold – go on sale for £900 in Mexico, TNT looks at other rich foods … » Billionaire Stanley Ho, owner £100, making it the world’s of the Macau casino empire, once paid £211k for a pair of white truffles – a delicacy. One weighed nearly 1kg. » A mix of the finest chicken, ham, hard-boiled quails eggs and white truffles, a sandwich sold in Berkshire was priced at

most expensive. » In celebration of its 75th anniversary, tea company PG commissioned a no-expensespared tea bag (left). It was decorated with 280 sparkling diamonds and was priced at a sobering £7500.

Thinkstock, TNT Images

If you’re a regular Superdrug shopper, grab one of the store’s new loyalty cards. As an incentive to get people to sign-up quicksmart, it’s offering 10 points for every £1 spent on superdrug.com until June 7. After then, a £1 purchase will earn you one point – so you’ll need to generate 100 points to get £1 to redeem. It’s not as generous as the long-standing Boots Advantage Card, but the Beautycard will also give shoppers access to in-store and online promotions offering more points for certain products. If you’re a Superdrug fan, it’s a no-brainer, as you’d be spending the cash anyway.

highest level since 2008 to 4.5 per cent last month – meaning homeowners could be hit by interest rate rises. Nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they would be unable to cope if their expenses rose further. Kevin Mountford, head of banking at the website, said:

Job IT recruitment consultant From NSW, Australia Lives Earlsfield Age 26

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Join our friendly Central London office selling advertising space on a range of B2B publications. To succeed you will be intelligent, articulate, tenacious and hardworking with a proven track record in sales. Rewards are great financially and personally. Contact Fergus Mee on 0207 454 7500 or send cv to fmee@setform.com

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CAREERS & MONEY

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TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION Buddhist followers release a lantern into the air at Borobudur temple during Vesak Day, commonly known

TRAVEL

as ‘Buddha’s birthday’, in Magelang, Indonesia. Vesak is observed during the full moon in May or June. Photo

by Ulet Ifansasti/ Getty Images

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COAST WITH THE MOST Have a weekend of adventure in Cornwallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty fishing villages WORDS REBECCA KENT

Polperro, Cornwall ENGLAND

o our left, an endless ocean stretches to the horizon, and to our right, acres of verdant pasture and rolling fields unfurl at a angle that would make even a goat wince. Having clambered up a rockface in Polperro two hours earlier, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now well into a seven-mile hike to Polruan, a little town of steep, narrow streets clustered around a harbour inlet in the south of

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Cornwall’s rugged coast

WHERE TO EAT: New Peking Garden

TRAVEL

Chinese Restaurant, Looe, is one of the few places open when all other eateries have closed. WHERE TO DRINK: Blue Peter Inn, Polperro is popular among locals and visitors alike. (thebluepeter.co.uk) WHERE TO SLEEP: See: rumplehorn-inn.co.uk £35 pppn or holidaycottages polperro.co.uk £595 per week for two double rooms.

ENGLAND

LONDON

Cornwall. They aren’t hideouts. This was once Cornwall seven straightforward a thriving centre for the Polperro miles, either: we endure a area’s smuggling, but while switchback path hugging an smugglers have since sailed into extraordinary stretch of Cornish the town’s heritage, Polperro coastline, tending up and down gorseremains a working fishing port. covered slopes. Only a smattering of sheep After soaking our aching muscles, and the odd flutter of butterflies are within we mosey about Polperro’s quaint shops, earshot of our gasps at the beauty of it all – low-ceilinged pubs and fine restaurants, and the occasional moan at what this the sum of which counts for Poperro’s taxing path is doing to our knees. nightlife. Take a pack of cards if you plan to stay out longer than 10pm, because by TAKE A DIP then, much of the place closes down. Sun-beaten, we can’t resist heading off It’s at this point we make a swift, £8 the path down a drop to Lantic Bay, dash in a cab for Looe, a much livelier leaving a trail of our clothes along a port town 4km away. shingle beach as we take a bare-skin dip FISH FOOD into the bitterly cold water. It’s just the Looe, Cornwall’s second-largest fishing tonic under the heat of the April sun, and, The writer hauls one in village, straddles the river Fowey. The as for our knees, well by now they are as that night.’’ I can see how. Just 8km out, trawlers pull in their hauls by morning, numb as the rest of us. we hover over a shoal of mackerel and for the local restaurants, and then run As we chip away at the miles, first-class with my first cast I reel in five wildy fishing charters for groups keen to cast scenery prevails at every turn. Bonding flapping fish. We reel in more and more, a line into the open sea. with three lazy cows upon a hilltop, we saving Collings the trouble of collecting We hop aboard the 12-metre fishing contemplate a contouring path ahead of bait the following day. vessel, Swallow, owned by local fisherman, us and clap eyes on Lansallos Bay. Some It’s the least we could do, and a Murray Collings. He sports a tanned, drop from the cliff edge, it bears dazzling thoroughly exciting end to our weekend white sand, which meets a calm blanket of weather-beaten face and has the calm of adventure. disposition you’d expect of man whose aquamarine. Now we’re especially glad life has been spent at sea. we bothered. ‘’The fish you eat in Looe is the freshest AFTER DARK you’ll eat in England,’’ he boasts. ‘’You Seven rewarding miles in the bag, we take think about Scotland where fishermen are Call Murray Collings for a fishing trip from £300 for eight people. Phone our weary feet back to Polperro. Situated out weeks at a time, here they’re in and 07831 616316 in a cliff inlet, the conservation village, out on the same day and the fish on plate with its jumble of Discover the gardens of Eden cottages shoehorned into a steep valley, is a Nestled in a deep crater overlooking St Austell Bay, one biome heaven from the hands houses a rainforest and the other, a Mediterranean garden. The of Cornish fishermen. rainforest is so humid your glasses will fog up and beads of sweat Through its twisted will break out on your brow. More than 200m long and 50m high, it streets, we tread paths is one of the largest greenhouses in the world, containing tens of where barrows of fish thousands of plants and trees from the South America, West Africa, were once carted and, the Oceanic Islands and Asia. There’s also a vertiginous viewing under the cover of platform. The Mediterranean biome features cork trees, olive night, brandy casks groves and a vineyard, plus organic food stalls dotted about the and tobacco bales place. This is one cool charity project. See edenproject.com were carried into their

Rebecca Kent / TNT Images, Ingrid King / VisitCornwall, Getty Images

NEED TO KNOW

THE EDEN PROJECT

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TRAVEL

Hostel M端nchen - Park

in association with

The youth hostel is situated in the south of Munich, in green surroundings close to the Isar river and Hellabrunn Zoo. The youth hostel offers all accommodation including breakfast and bedsheets in 62 double rooms, 53 3- and 4-bedded rooms as well as five rooms with 6 beds each, all with en suite shower/WC and bunk beds.

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Hostel M端nchen - City The hostel is located 5km north west of the centre of this beautiful city, close to Rotkreuzplatz underground station. Accommodation is in 2-6+ bedded rooms and facilities include TV, bike rental, laundry and meals. The youth hostel is situated 5km north-west of the city centre of beautiful Regensburg, close to Rotkreuzplatz underground station.

in more than 2,400 locations in over 60 countries Happy Motoring!

www.muenchen-city.jugendherberge.de

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TRAVEL 61

TNT Weekender Munich

HIT THE SURF

SPA TIME

The cosmopolitan city of Munich is home to everything stereotypically ‘German’ (think lederhosen, Oktoberfest and oompah bands). Known to locals as München, the city is the perfect spot to soak up German culture and taste some fine Bavarian brews.

Take a stroll around the Englischer (English) Garden where carpets of flowers where you’ll find a Chinese pagoda. In the summer months, you may spot some nudists working on their tans. It’s even possible to surf here in the south end of the park at the Isar River (above). The wave is caused by submerged rocks.

Next to the Isar River is Müller’sches Volksbad, known as the people’s spa, which has been open since 1901 and still has much of its original features. Home to two pools, a steam bath and saunas, entry is just £3.50.

OKTOBERFEST

CULTURE FIX

It all began as a wedding celebration 200 years ago, but Oktoberfest now revolves around beer, with five million litres of the stuff being consumed in 15 days. Beer will be brought to you in steins by buxom wenches with superhuman strength (they can carry six at a time) in one of Oktoberfest’s raucous beer halls. If you can’t make the festival, there are more than enough permanent beer halls and beer gardens in town to keep your thirst sated. The Hofbräuhaus is considered one of the best.

Drink in some of Munich’s non-alcoholic culture by checking out its museums, most of which can be found around the Altstadt. Museum Brandhorst only costs 80p on a Sunday and showcases modern art by Andy Warhol, Damien Hirst and Bruce Nauman. Revheads shouldn’t miss the BMW museum. Also worth a look is the Deutsches Museum, reputedly the largest science and technology museum in the world. For sweeping city views, climb the 306 steps to the top of the Peterskirche Tower.

Getty Images, TNT Images

GERMANY

CHOW DOWN You won’t go hungry in Munich thanks to a hearty diet of sausage (wurst), pork, potato and sauerkraut. As well as offering an array of top-notch eateries, the city’s beerhouses serve up great meals too. Scoff Bavarian specialiaties at Viktualienmarket, an open-air food market that sells Bavarian Schweinshaw’n (pork knuckle) and speck (smoked ham from the Black Forest).

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Oktoberfest takes place from September 17 until October 3. GETTING THERE Fly to Munich direct with easyJet. CURRENCY Euro. LANGUAGE German. GETTING AROUND Munich has a reliable public transport system. GOING OUT A stein (1 litre) could knock you back £7.80. ACCOMMODATION Hostel rooms cost from £26.

BERLIN

GERMANY

OUT OF TOWN Just outside Munich is Dachau concentration camp, the first opened in Nazi Germany and used as a prototype for more camps. The camp reveals the horrors of Hitler’s regime.

NEXT WEEK GLASGOW

Munich

TNT online For a full travel guide on Germany go to tntmagazine.com/travel

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HOTSHOTS Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER HALONG BAY, VIETNAM Sarah Shaw from Auckland, New Zealand Symmetry and central horizons are not normally recommended, but in this case the symmetry and the central line have added to the abstraction of the scene. The rocks have been reduced to black blobs in the mist and, together with their reflection, look a Rorschach ink blot personality test. Choosing a vertical format has given the rocks space and the shimmering white line in the middle is very ethereal. HOT TIP: Using mist is a great way of abstracting a scene, especially when used with a long lens. » Sarah wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £218 from Haggis Adventures (0131 557 9393; haggisadventures.com). Tour must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter.

RUNNER-UP SADHU Chris Dunham, from London The rich yellows contrasting with the leathery chestnut of this man’s skin makes a great image, but what is especially nice is the flowing quality of the shot. The hands, always awkward to pose, are extremely graceful, as are the swirling folds of the fabric and the curls of his beard and hair. All this adds up to a shot with

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plenty of movement and expression, even though the composition is fairly tight. HOT TIP: Even if you are closing in on a portrait, the atmosphere of the headshot will be affected by external factors. Your subject will be altered by the way they are standing or sitting, the clothes they are wearing

and the background. It’s not always all about your subject’s face. » Chris wins a photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses. org.uk) valued at £60.

HOTSHOTS

HOLIDAY SNAPS

HOW TO MAKE YOUR PHOTOS STAND OUT

THEME: CONTRASTING COLOURS Rush hour, Bangladesh by Helen Mortimer, from London Contrasting colours are great for making a statement in an image, and work whatever the lighting conditions. This bright line of red slashing through the green field makes an impact despite the overcast conditions.

TRAVEL 63

WHY THIS WORKS: 1 Red is a direct contrast to green so the impact is high. 2 The line is used as a leading diagonal, like an arrow to the background of the subtle scene in the distance. 3 The trees provide an interesting skyline and break up the white dull sky. 4 A wide angle lens has

accentuated the diagonal line of the women. 5 The house gives a nice counter balance to the line both compositionally and in message â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the idea of the strong women leaving the home for work.

HOT TIPS: 1 Colours on the opposite

sides of the colour wheel contrast most i.e. red/green, blue/orange and yellow/purple. 2 The higher the saturation of the colour, the stronger the effect. Scarlet is stronger than pink or maroon, lime is stronger than olive or khaki. 3 Hot colours come forward, while cool colours recede. Green in a sea of red will say

something very different to red in a sea of green. 4 A large amount of one colour in an image could throw your white balance off if you are using a digital camera, so turn off the auto white balance. 5 A polariser will eliminate reflections and strengthen bright colours.

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Get off your lounger and get active in Cyprus WORDS JANINE KELSO

Underwater love: the Zenobia wreck

Cyprus

yprus has a reputation for being the destination of choice for partyloving teens and the bluerinse brigade. But beyond the luxury hotels and nightclubs are a bonanza of untamed beauty spots, mountain villages and dreamy beaches that offer a surfeit of activities for those with adventurous appetites.

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BIKE IT Cooler than the searing heat of the coastal towns in summer, the Troodos Mountains in the south western corner of Cyprus offer picturesque cycling country, with terraced slopes coated in a patchwork of vineyards, pine-scented forests, cherry blossoms and peach and apple orchards, studded with cobbled villages chock-full of rustic taverna in which to refuel on meze. In these quaint villages, you’ll find local

Getty Images, ScubaCube/Cyprus Tourism

Discover a traditional way of life in Cyprus

WALK THE WALK Ramblers can venture into Cyprus’s wild west, the 79sqkm Akamas peninsula, an unspoilt and undeveloped wilderness, studded with craggy gorges and carpeted with orchids and bougainvillea, orange and citrus trees. According to legend, goddess of love Aphrodite brought her squeeze Adonis to Akamas for a bonk because it was such a beautiful spot. Take a rest stop at one of

the mountain villages where you may be offered rough local spirit Zivania, nicknamed “fire water”. Also worth a look-in are the fishing villages of Latchi and Polis on the northern coast where you can feast on fresh seafood, as well as Lara Bay, a breeding ground for the protected Loggerhead Turtle. Spring and autumn are the best time to hike in Cyprus as the temperatures are lower.

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

The Topset Hotel Kyrenia

EAT

SLEEP Experience rural life in Cyprus by staying in a number of traditional houses in more than 40 villages, situated near isolated beaches, shady forests, remote monasteries, frescoCYPRUS painted churches and NICOSIA vineyards. Akamas Peninsula 5Troodos Mountains See agrotourism.com. Paphos Limassol cy.

is situated by the shore of the blue Our restaurant is Mediterranean sea of Kyrenia coast. The open ALL DAY hotel’s most outstanding attribute is the people serving a variety who run it. As soon as you arrive, you feel the of A La Carte and Set hospitality, the friendliness and the efficient service menus! is guaranteed throughout your stay. North Cyprus

Swimming pool right infront of the beach

Hotels is situated in the village of Karaoglanoglu, which is just 5km from Kyrenia (Girne) and only 45 minutes drive from Ercan Airport, and one and a half hours drive from Larnaca Airport. It is conveniently close to supermarkets and a selection of restaurants and bars where local bus services runs frequently into the town of Kyrenia.

DRINK

Cyprus Tourism, Getty Images

Limassol has replaced Agia Napa as the nightlife spot du jour. Standout drinking holes include alfresco club Cote D’Azur (+357 99 665549) and hip beach bar Guaba (guababeachbar.com), on the Limassol seafront road. For cocktails in a chilled-out setting, try Drops, in Amathountos 17.

people living a traditional way of life, making halloumi cheese, bread and even shoes from scratch. Check out fifth-century village Kakopetria which has a historical quarter filled with restored buildings. The mountains are freckled with more than 50 boutique wineries, including the Agia Mavri Winery (Lemesos, +357 25 470 225) where you can quaff its awardwinning white Muscat. Visit in September for the Lemesos annual wine festival. With signposts in English, it’s easy to travel around without a guide. Visit one of the region’s 10 UNESCO-listed byzantine churches with their wooden roofs and frescos, and tranquil monasteries, such as the opulent Kykkos Monastery near Pedoulas. Covered in a blanket of snow in winter, the mountains offer skiing and other winter sports.

UNDERWATER LOVE Cyprus is a haven for divers, thanks to its warm, clear waters, and a lack of strong currents makes it a perfect spot for

Picture perfect: hike in Akamas

beginners. The Zenobia wreck off the coast of Larnaka is a favourite with divers, who can poke about the Swedish ferry which sunk in 1980. Nearby dive sites include the British Army Air Corps helicopter wreck and a barge, which has created a reef known as Fraggle Rock. Spot octopus and starfish between Agia Napa and Protaras, and eels and barracudas around Larnaka.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Anytime between March and October, although you’ll find fewer crowds and less intense heat at the beginning and end of the season. GETTING THERE Cyprus Airways (020 8359 1333; cyprusair.com) offer direct flights from London to Paphos and Larnaca airports. SEE visitcyprus.com

HORSING AROUND Test your mettle with a spot of horse riding, rock climbing and archery at the Santa Marina Retreat, set on an old copper mine in Limassol’s rolling green countryside. The largest stud farm in Cyprus, this retreat has more than 250 horses, including race horses. There are classes for beginners too. In the saddle: Santa Marina Resort

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You’ll eat so well that you might pile on what’s known amongs locals as the “Cyprus stone”. For gourmet seafood by the sea, dine at Thalassa (thalassacyprus.com) in Governors Beach. For traditional meze with a sea view, chow down at Paliomonastiro, in Peyia, Paphos (aphrodite-zypriotisch. de/palio_home.html). Break the budget on top-notch sushi at Asiachi in Paphos (amathus-hotels.com).

Massage room with private mosieur

TIPS Venice doesn’t have to be expensive

READERS’ TIPS PARK LIFE

TRAVEL

If you’re planning OF to visit more than THTIEPWEEK a handful of American National Parks, buy the £50 America The Beautiful pass which allows entry and use of US federal recreation sites for up to four people.

Maria, via email

BOAT TOUR

YOU ASKED FOR IT Laura Lindsay FROM LONELY PLANET My parents are coming to visit me in the UK from Canada and we want to spend at least two days in North Wales as I hear it’s very scenic. Where do you recommend we go? Emily, via email

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Visit out of season (November-January excluding the festive period) as hotels will be cheaper and the city will be far less crowded. Shopping around is the key to getting a great hotel deal in the city; check the tourist board’s website turismovenezia.it. The further you stay from San Marco, the cheaper it gets, and travelling in from mainland Mestre by train is a breeze if you really want to save on accommodation. Take advantage of the flight+hotel offers that many websites promote at a discount. Food in Italy is incredible so don’t be tricked into spending a small fortune in a touristy trattoria when the Rialto’s market offers cheaper sumptuous Italian fare. Many of Venice’s stunning churches are free to enter providing hours of marvelling at the art and architecture without spending a penny. A gondola trip is expensive, but hop on a traghetti, a commuter gondola, for a euro (90p) for the next best thing.

Ali, via email Tweet your tips to @ tntmagazine or email traveltips@ tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@ tntmagazine. com. If she answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

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Head first to Snowdonia National Park. You might want to attempt the 1085m of Mount Snowdon or take the less energetic (and faster) option and hop on the Snowdon Mountain Railway. Book ahead for this. Next, head to Anglesey, via either of the impressive bridges which cross the Menai Strait. Once you arrive, you might want to extend your visit beyond a couple of days as this picturesque little island is dotted with medieval castles, great beaches and fabulous food. Anglesey is such a delight that newly wed royals Kate and William choose to base themselves here. Attractive Beaumaris is a good place to start; wander around the castle and stop in one of the chic cafes for lunch. For a bit more history visit Beaumaris’ Victorian gaol. The Isle of Anglesey Coastal Path is a great way to take in some of the glorious coastline. If the weather’s fine there are loads of great beaches to choose from.

I’ve always wanted to visit Venice but I’m put off by the expense. Is there any way I can go on a budget? Sarah, via email

When you go to Bangkok, escape the frenetic gridlock on the roads by taking a boat trip along the klongs (canals) to see the city from a different perspective. It’s fascinating to watch locals going about their daily lives beside the canal. Hire a longtail boat at Saphan Taksin, the riverboat and BTS Skytrain stop – either for a few hours or a whole day. You’ll see temples, shrines, huge buddhas and children swimming and playing at the water’s edge. The boat trip was definitely a highlight of my visit.

TRAVEL NEWS Enjoy a bit of peace in Kyoto

STAR PILOT

TRAVEL

Iron Maiden frontman and pilot Bruce Dickinson will fly for Iceland Express in between touring and writing for his rock band. The singer will fly some of the new summer routes, including Boston, Chicago, Winnipeg and New York. See icelandexpress.com.

TUCAN DISCOUNT Tucan Travel is offering travellers 20 per cent off all African Overland Adventures and selected South America Discovery Tours. Book by May 30 to claim the discount. See tucantravel.com and click on ‘late space specials’.

EUROVISION HIT Azerbaijan has been topping flight destination searches following the country’s glory in the Eurovision song contest. Searches for flights to capital Baku have increased by 54 per cent on WhichBudget. com since the programme aired two weeks ago. Baku’s Old Town is 2000 years old and the semidesert in central Azerbaijan has more than 6000 rock engravings that bear testimony to 40,000 years of stone-age grafitti.

JAPAN ‘READY FOR TOURISTS’ Travellers are being encouraged to return to Japan following this year’s triple-fold disaster, which saw the country struck by an earthquake, tsunami and nuclear crisis. Although the Foreign and Commonwealth Office is advising against all but essential travel to the country’s north-east and is warning tourists to remain outside a 60km radius of the Fukshima plant, tour operators say now is the time to visit Kyoto (740km from Fukushima) and Kumamoto on the southern island of Kyushu (1472km from Fukusima), thanks to the lack of crowds. InsideJapan Tours has likened the current travel experience to that of more than 10 years ago as the low number of tourists means

peaceful journeys on well-trodden routes and the opportunity to appreciate major sights, normally obscured by crowds. “The spring weather has been beautiful and the cherry blossom stunning, yet there was barely a non-Japanese face to be seen in wellvisited places, such as Kyoto or the mountains,” co-founder Alastair Donnelly said. “Now is the time to travel to Japan – enjoy undisturbed cultural immersion and fully appreciate the sublime calm of Zen gardens, the beauty of the Alps and ancient temple architecture.” He added: “Thankfully, people are looking beyond newspaper headlines and are still travelling to Japan.”

moves into the future Sweden love Samoa Samoa has seen a boost in hotel opens tourist interest after it revealed Samoa

A new hotel in Sweden is offering guests sex toys and the services of a professional orgasm coach. Venusgarden guesthouse, in Skurup near Malmo, has three themed rooms with massage oils, feathers, and swings above the bed. See venusgarden.se. Get your rocks off in Sweden Thinkstock, Getty Images

plans to leap into the future. The South Pacific Island will put its clocks forward by a day on December 29 to observe the west side of the international date line, rather than the east side which it currently follows. Since announcing its time travel plans, the island nation has seen a 48 per cent increase in TripAdvisor traffic figures. “This is good news for Samoa,” said spokesman Emma O’Boyle. “The media attention following the announcement has been extensive and it’s

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obviously piqued interest.” Samoa is currently almost one day behind Australia and New Zealand, which means the island loses two business days each week with the two countries. The change will put Samoa three hours ahead of Australia.

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ON THE ROAD

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

ON THE ROAD

AMSTERDAM ROOTS

TRAVEL

Amsterdam, Holland June 22-26 Beginning with gigs in the city’s best music venues and culminating with a free, open-air concert, the festie showcases a range of music with roots from cultures outside Western Europe.

» amsterdamroots.nl

WITH FRANKIE MULLIN

LOCK IT IN JUNETEENTH Galveston, US June 17 juneteenth.com

SUMMER SOLSTICE Stonehenge, UK June 21 Stonehenge.co.uk

BATTALA DOS VINOS BILIBLIO, SPAIN, JUNE 29

WHAT: Cheap vino is fired

» spain.info

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

GAME OF THE BRIDGE INTI RAYMI Cuzco, Peru, June 24 Originally an Inca celebration of the winter solstice replete with mass sacrifice to appease the sun god Inti, the festival is now staged and somewhat touristy. However, the costume, dance and ritual reconstructions still impress.

» peru.info

Where in the world?

Pisa, Italy June 25 italia.it

BOI BUMBA Parintins, Brazil June 28-30 boibumba.com

GLASGOW JAZZ FESTIVAL Glasgow, Scotland June 29-July 3 jazzfest.co.uk

THE TRAVELLER … Hannah Issa, 26, Sydney What’s been your most memorable travelling?

The Medieval Festival in Obidos, Portugal – it’s the best in Europe. Everyone is in costume and parties all night. Best party you’ve been to?

Amnesia in Ibiza is crazy! They have some top DJs and loads of performers. We partied til 5pm the next day. Any festival plans this summer?

Kim and Monique de Leijer from New Zealand, at the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, Turkey

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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Creamfields. I’ve been to the Aussie one. Fave thing in London?

The gay clubs in Vauxhall – full of shirtless, sweaty guys.

Getty Images

from water cannons, poured from buckets, bottles and old boots and sprayed from cans until the town resembles the (albeit happy) scene of a massacre. Wear a white Tshirt for full effect and be prepared to drink as much as you throw. Happily, the local council provides four litres of red wine to every resident for this purpose. That’s how we’d like our council tax spent.

WHY: Celebrated on St Pedro’s Day to commemorate a medieval property dispute. DO IT BECAUSE: It’s drunk, messy and no one will notice if you throw up. HOW MUCH: Free to join in and the vino costs peanuts.

FIVE TEA PLANTATIONS

TOP FIVE

JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE TO A NICE CUPPA HANGZHOU, CHINA WHAT: Hangzhou has long been regarded as one of the finest tea-producing regions in China. It is famous for its green variety – Longjing or Dragon Well. Sample it in the ancient Meijawu Tea Village where visitors can join in with traditional tea drinking ceremonies. A National Tea Museum exhibits age-old tea drinking practices. SEE: gotohz.com

TRAVEL 69

HILL COUNTRY, SRI LANKA WHAT: . Walk or cycle in the trails in the Bogawantalawa Valley to watch the sari-clad pickers at work. See the magnificent plantations during a scenic train ride from Colombo or Kandy to Nuwara Eliya. SEE: srilanka.travel

MOROCCO WHAT: Super-sweet mint tea is a constant characteristic of life in Morocco and you’ll be offered it not only in cafes and restaurants but every time you make a purchase (or look like you will) in the souk (market) or make a new friend. SEE: visitmorocco.com

DARJEELING, INDIA WHAT: Discover the process behind chai production by taking a plantation tour in Darjeeling between the April to November picking season. The spicy brew can be quaffed in cafes and bazaars all over this Himalayan town. SEE: incredibleindia.org

PERU & BOLIVIA WHAT: Peruvians and Bolivians swear that coca tea – using the leaves that make cocaine – is a cure for altitude sickness. Make like a local and sip this bitter tea while on a mountainside on way to Machu Picchu. SEE: visitperu.com

THE INSIDER GEMMA GEORGE, RESEARCH AND MARKETING EXECUTIVE, ST HELENA TOURISM

The next destination on my travel wishlist is Australia. It's always seemed to me to be a land of opportunity for fun, work and recreation.

The best part of my job is putting this remote destination on the map – it's exciting and satisfying.

I always pack too many clothes, my iPod and my make-up bag.

And the worst part is being geographically isolated (2400km NW of Cape Town).

My guilty travel pleasure is sampling native foods and sipping local cocktails.

tntmagazine.com

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO May-mid Nov is the dry season, which is considered to be the best time for game viewing GETTING THERE South African Airways flies daily from London Heathrow via Johannesburg to Lilongwe. See saa.com for more information and flight prices

A Lake Less

Ordinary

Travel guilt-free by seeing Malawi’s highlights without the carbon footprint WORDS JENNIFER CARR

Lake Malawi MALAWI

’m being watched. From the second I curl my limbs into a blisteringly hot kayak, biceps ready to battle water, I can feel the eyes searing into my back. Kaye, the sinewy Malawian who’s accompanying me across the mighty Lake Malawi isn’t guilty; his eyes are locked on to one of the nine impossibly perfect islands that protrude from the most southerly lake in Africa’s Rift Valley. The voyeur remains unseen and allows me to forget myself in the midst of a

meditative, rhythmic paddle. Without warning, a whoosh of white plumage and two metres of startling wingspan flanks our starboard and almost knocks the oar from my hands. The regal African fish eagle responsible has clearly mimicked the RAF’s execution of a perfect fly-by.

FLOAT MY BOAT Natural splendour isn’t in short supply around Malawi’s majestic

BIG TRIP

Tranquil: Lake Malawi

Canoeing on Lake Malawi

lake, but you don’t have to go the gasguzzling route to find it. Our first motor-free silent slink affords the kind of close-ups you’d never get from a boisterous boat ride. With each dip of my paddle, a wall of shimmering vertical scales shift, disperse then rejoin; a mere fraction of the lake’s 600 indigenous species that ensure this region is one of the most bio-diverse on the planet. It’s

ASK A LOCAL Mike Varndell, founder, Malawian Style says: “Mt Mulanje is an undiscovered natural wonder that offers tiered natural rock pools, challenging hiking and rock climbing through one of the highest isolated granite inselbergs on the planet. At over 900 metres, the hike requires good fitness, but is achievable over the course of two days, especially if you stay in one of the scenic mountain chalets.”

ON YOUR BIKE

like a Blu-Ray-enhanced David Attenborough documentary with me and my kayak on centre stage.

CONSCIENTIOUS CAMPING Two hours later we run aground on the sand that fringes Mumbo Island and sink toes into what’s best described as a subSaharan Eden. Shaded only by ancient fig and baobab trees, Mumbo remains uninhabited save for a community-run eco-camp of seven chic tents complete with solar-power bucket showers, windup torches and compost drop loos. Each carefully produced private tent area features a locally carved bed (forget ground sheets), floor mats, reed-walled showers and handstitched hammocks, all of which have been lovingly created by local hands using sustainable materials. Even more charmingly, the tents are built into a second, smaller bouldered outcrop that’s joined to the main island via a twinkling walkway of solar powered fairy lights – the principal form of energy on the island. CHILL OUT TIME Mumbo, I discover, is about unplugging yourself from the everyday. I spend the first morning chasing iridescent blue crabs and fuchsia-coloured chiclid around the

rocky shallows of Mumbo’s main beach. My submerged squeals are lost on the other guests, all thankfully too preoccupied in their own gleeful aquatic discoveries. It’s not just fish who vie for your attention either; dainty pied kingfisher perch on low hanging branches accessorised by acid green vine snakes, Cape Claw otters flop in and out of the heat while giant, 1.2-metre- long monitor lizards shuffle surreptitiously into the camp’s chill-out lounge, their eyes scoping out a game of Malawian Bowe I’m halfway through losing.

Unplug from “ the everyday on Mumbo Island ” FOREST FUN One afternoon we take a forested walk up to a notorious sunset lookout and breathe in the fragrance of fig trees, thickening the air with top notes of fructose. As dusk beckons I make haste back to the camp to outrun the mosquitoes and buy a freezing local beer from the camp’s make-shift bar. Swigging it from the soporific comfort of my hammock, I gaze upon the hundreds

Meet the locals Malawi Tourism, Dana Allen, www.photosafari-africa.com

Swap paddles for pedals on the high elevation grasslands that comprise the famed Nkiya Plateau. With parts of the park crossing into northern Zambia, the plateau forms part of Malawi’s oldest national park and plays host to the largest concentration of leopards in central Africa. The region makes for a rewarding thigh-burn some 2000 metres above sea level on possibly the smoothest trails in Malawi. Besides breathtaking views of the thickly forested valley below, Nyika’s less-frequented lower region offers an additional reward: antelope, elephant, rhino and plentiful zebra are all regularly spotted grazing on the expansive grasslands.

Get up close to the wildlife

TRAVEL 73 Shake your booty

of lantern-lit fishermen’s boats that wink at me through night’s blanket and I understand all too well why David Livingstone christened this place the Lake Of Stars when first visiting in the 1800s.

GO GREEN Experiencing the eco-merits of Malawi doesn’t end on Mumbo. After (begrudgingly) bidding adieu to the million star hammock, I kayak back to Cape Maclear and pick the brains of a local tour guide, Mike Varndell, on other guilt-free delights to be enjoyed in Malawi. A specialist in small, sustainable experiences for grown-up backpackers, Mike has noticed an upsurge in visitors whom he believes “want to explore Malawi as authentically as possible” and as such, recommends we head south through the rugged Rift Valley into Liwonde National Park, where Mvuu Lodge, a sustainable nature camp, teeters on a bend of the crocodile-infested Shire River. ANIMAL MAGIC Mvuu Camp is an impressive example of how to successfully bridge the divide between Malawian communities and

existing wildlife. Hundreds of locals benefit from employment at the camp and I’m heartened at the obvious signs of reforestation taking place as we approach the main heart of the lodge. After a quick run-through on camp protocol - “the bongo in your room is to bang if you need escorting through the camp after dark” - we set off on a sunset cruise in one of the camp’s eco-friendly four-stroke engine boats to explore the Shire River. We encounter umpteen hippo, waterbuck, birdlife, elephants and of course, river crocodiles during the two hour cruise. It’s hard to be anything but awed. As my eyes adjust to the growing twilight, the sun’s alchemy flecking the river with a burnt, blushing rose gold, I’m reminded yet again that some of the very best experiences in travel require no human intervention.

CULTURE BEATS Hailed by Q Magazine as the ‘best festival in the world’, the four-day Lake Of Stars festival (from Oct 15-17) attracts an international crowd who relish partying with the upbeat locals. In 2010, the festival generated more than £620,000 for Malawi’s economy and attracted more than 3300 international music lovers who flew into the capital, Lilongwe, to enjoy more than 95 international and Malawian dub, reggae, ska, hip hop, funk and soul acts. Besides some talented local performers and DJs, international names including The Noisettes, Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly and MistaJam all put in an appearance. See lakeofstars.org.

» Jennifer Carr travelled with Malawian Style and Mvuu Camp. Kayaking from £250. See malawianstyle.com

NEXT WEEK: BOSNIAHERZEGOVINA & CROATIA

LILONGWE

Domwe Islands

MALAWI

Marvel at historic cities, gushing waterfalls and dreamy islands

SCUBA DIVING IN LAKE MALAWI Lake Malawi is a must for those wanting to get up close and friendly with 80 per cent of the world’s aquarium fish. Whether you want to get qualified, do an advanced or rescue diver course, or simply head out into waters of 30-metre visibility to discover catfish, ribbon tail rays and more than 600 species of endemic tropical chiclid fish, the lake’s 20 spectacular Lake Malawi is flush with fish dive sites will ensure even the most discerning diver will have plenty to marvel at. Danforth Lodge on the north shore offers fantastic fourday Open Water courses from £370, which includes all tuition, equipment, practical and theory learning in the hands of Danforth’s expert and super friendly instructors. See danforthyachting.com.

Encounter creatures of the deep

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europe

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> 33 DESTINATIONS, 9 COUNTRIES 1 ESSENTIAL TRAVEL PASS & MANY NEW TRAVEL-FRIENDS > 14 GREAT TRAVEL OPTIONS FOR EVERY BUDGET ONE WAY AND LOOP TRIPS OR MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO ON THE FLEXITRIP > FULLY FLEXIBLE YOU’RE FREE TO GO WHERE YOU WANT, WHEN YOU WANT. START AND FINISH ANYWHERE > BUDGET BACKPACKING GET BACK TO BASICS – THE CHANGE IS IN YOUR POCKET! YOU CHOOSE WHERE TO EAT, SLEEP, DRINK, AND PARTY

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Brace yourself for one of the biggest street parties you’ll probably ever see at Spain’s most notorious Festival! Add a bit of beach action at ‘San Seb’ and you’ve got yourself the best of both worlds. We have the choice of Camping and Hostel packages as well as departures from London by coach. INCLUDES: All accommodation, breakfasts, Pamps t-shirt, panuelo, coach shuttles to and from all the bull runs and the services of the Busabout Festival Team

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FREE SURFING LESSON ON NEWQUAY BEACH (WORTH ÂŁ30)

WELSH EXPLORER 5 DAYS ÂŁ189 (STUDENTS ÂŁ179) Cardiff, Snowdonia, Brecon Beacons & Conwy Castle

FREE ENTRY TO THE BIG PIT COAL MINE & ENTRY INTO CONWY CASTLE

MULTI ACTIVITY ADVENTURE TRIPS Explore Scotlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wilderness by bike, hike, canoe and Kayak. INCLUDES: All equipment, support vehicle to carry gear, qualiďŹ ed instructors and max group size of 8.

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83 TOURS

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Stonehenge, Newquay, Bath & Landâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s End

TRAVEL

Book any Scotland trip below and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll pay for your travel from London to Edinburgh. Check out www.haggisadventures.com/free-bus for details

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22 DAYS EUROPE UNPLUGGED

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TOURS

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EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

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WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS

TOURS

MAY BANK HOLIDAY BREAKS Sat 28th - Mon 30th May GERMANY RHINELAND £249 Rhine River boat cruise, visit to a typical German Weinhaus for wine tasting, excursion through the Moselle Valley and visit to the Belgium town of Ghent.

HOLLAND AND BELGIUM

£249 Amsterdam and Brugge - 2 nights hotel acom with dinner and breakfast, and a free bar in the evening! Guided sightseeing tours of Amsterdam and Brugge, with free time at each place!

SPECIAL EVENT TOURS CYCLING IN THE NEW FOREST

£55

Sat 11 June Includes: Return train travel, full bike and helmet hire, free time to explore Brokenhurst or surrounding villages.

ROYAL ASCOT FINALE DAY (Silver Ring Enclosure) Sat 18th June

£69

pp Includes: Return luxury coach travel, light refreshments including bubbly and entry.

PARIS BY EUROSTAR

£259

Return Eurostar travel and transfers, 2 nights B&B hotel accom and guided city sightseeing tour. Plenty of free time to explore Paris!

LIVERPOOL AND THE LAKE DISTRICT £159 Guided tour of Liverpool, visit to Chester, 2 nights hostel acom in Liverpool and day trip to the Lake District.

OVERNIGHT TOURS Hilton Overnight - Northern England Peak District, Leeds and York Departs Sat 4 June only

£129pp

Horse Riding in Wales Departs Sat 11 June

£149pp

Includes Afternoon horse ride in the Brecon Beacon National Park, half day in Hay on Wye, B&B hotel acom in Cardiff

Overnight Bath SEE TAKE THAT IN AMSTERDAM

£279

17-19 July 2011 pp Includes: concert tickets, return travel from London and dinner, bed and breakfast hotel accom.

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£55

Sun 24 July from pp Includes: Return luxury coach travel, packed lunch including wine, general admission to the Guard’s Polo Club for the Polo Event.

SHORT BREAKS IN JUNE PARIS BY EUROSTAR £229pp Departs Friday 10 June

EDINBURGH WEEKEND BY RAIL £165pp Departs Friday 17 June

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Includes Windsor and Cheddar Gorge, Hostel accom in Bath Departs Sat 18 June

£109pp

DAY TRIPS £79 £52

¸ Mon 23 May: Stonehenge Private Viewing Evening ¸ Sat 28 May: Oxford and Stratford Upon Avon ¸ Sun 29 May: Isle of Wight ¸ Mon 30 May: Stratford Upon Avon & Warwick Castle ¸ Fri 3 June: Stonehenge Private Viewing Morning ¸ Sat 4 June: Cambridge ¸ Sun 5 June: Windsor and Hampton Court Palace

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EGYPT IN THE FOOTSTEPS

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Egyptâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Top Spots & The Red Sea PHARAOHS ADVENTURE - 6 days KING TUTANKHAMEN - 9 days EGYPT UNPLUGGED - 10 days DIVE DAHAB - 10 days KING RAMSES - 13 days 5-STAR JEWEL OF THE NILE - 10 days

ÂŁ299 ÂŁ349 ÂŁ399 ÂŁ429 ÂŁ449 ÂŁ779

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We had Waleed as our tour guide an d he is Abu Simbel when the sun came up on phenomenal. Going into the Solstice was SO With the drums go INCREDIBLE! ing it still gives me go and the whirling tanoura dancer s ... ose bumps when I think about it! Thank you for ever ything I will book ON TH E GO for everything I can! Not one complaint came out of the group that we had!!â&#x20AC;?

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*SPRING PAMPLONA TNT SPECIAL* ALL RUNNING OF THE BULLS TOURS TRAVEL

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PAMPLONA 2011

PP are proud to be the exclusive San Fermin tour operator to the amazing Bilbao BBK Live Festival. Run the Bulls and then be transferred to Bilbao BBK Live (7-9 July). 1 or 3 day festival passes included. Available to all coach and accom only passengers. • Coldplay • The Black Crowes • Kaiser Chiefs • Amy Winehouse - just to name a few

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NING OF ✔ Pamplona’s BEST camp – Estella THE BEST RUNTOURS THE BULLS RS! ✔ Music, dancing, sangria, top facilities FOR 20 YEA at our party camp ✔ Choice of dorms or camping ✔ Shuttles, breakfasts, t-shirts, exclusive parties & excursions ✔ 5, 6 or 7 day tours from from £249 ✔ Accom packages from from £119 ✔ Flying and transfer options ALL TOURS ✔ Pamps/Bilbao BBK Live packages from just £89! DISCOUNTED !

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LA TOMATINA 2011 JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIEST AND LARGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD 30 Aug - 1 Sept – great value tours from just £135! ✔ 3 or 4* hotels in superb central Valencia position ✔ Great breakfasts ✔ Welcome party ✔ Transfer to tomato fight Bunol ✔ Fully escorted by experienced PP guides ✔ Souviner t-shirt

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info@pptravel.com 020 7930 9999

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(1991-2011): 20 years of great party tours!! tntmagazine.com

DON’T BE FOOLED - CHECK FOR LOCAL PAYMENTS!

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Many companies don’t show compulsory local payments they collect on top of entrance fees and tipping. Be sure to add this in when comparing prices.

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£430 £529 £720 £729

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PASSAGE TO PETRA - 6 days TOTALLY JORDAN - 8 days ROAD TO JORDAN - 16 days ARABIAN HIGHWAY - 11 days ROAD TO DAMASCUS - 14 days

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“COULDN’T FAULT

THING! Petra, the cooking ni gh Sea, Dead Sea, Dam t, Wadi Rum, Red ascus ... all amazing, wish I could do it al l ag Thanks to Ali our fa ain! bulous guide!” Je nny Otterhead

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RED EXPRESS - 10 days GENGHIS KHAN - 13 days HIGHWAY TO CHINA - 15 days BIG TICKET - 19 days

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CROATIA

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ADVENTURE WEEKEND PARTIES IN WALES We pickup from West London every Friday evening at 6:30pm. In our very nice mini coach Our trips are great for groups of mates, singles or couples. HORSE RIDING (ALL DAY) over the Brecon Beacons national park, suitable for first timers or experienced. We ride over mountains and ancient Roman bridleways, it’s the best ride in the UK, with great scenery. The sore ass is on us and guaranteed, but we’ll put muscle soak in the hot tub for you. £195. The riding is suitable for beginners or the experience. HILL WALKING on the Brecon beacons national park You can also just do a pub crawl and party for the whole weekend. £140. The accommodation has 2 double rooms, dorms & open log fire. It also has a huge covered hot tub next to a river with music. At night you can party all you like. With big late breakfast on Sunday. Our food is simply the best, we even make bread and roast our own coffee. So if you would like to relax & escape London then give us a call on

01874 636170 open till 10pm. Included in all prices are return transport, 2 nights accommodation, all food and activity. There are no hidden extras.

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PAMPLONA SPAIN’S CRAZY RUNNING OF THE BULLS!

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■ 7 Nights

SAN SEBASTIAN – CAMPING & HOSTEL: The ideal mix of sun, sand, sea, sangria... & bulls!!! ■ Camping – 4 Days £159, 5 Days £174, 6 Days £189 ■ Hostel - 4 Days £249 ✔ Magical beaches ✔ Private transfers into Pamplona

PAMPLONA – HOTEL: 5-8 JUL £329 ✔ Luxury hotel accommodation ✔ Do it in style!

2-8 JUL £349 3-8 or 5-10 JUL £239 5-11 JUL £369

COACH TOURS: 6, 7 & 8 Day Tours ex-London fr £279

✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Trstenik ✔ Korcula ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac Cat A: JUN £429 JUL £439 AUG £439 Cat A+: JUL £439-£499 AUG £439-£499 SEP £439 ✔ Top quality boats, unbeatable prices ✔ Select your room & boat when you book ✔ Experienced Fanatics rep on board every tour ✔ Package price includes fuel surcharges & port taxes ✔ Get more for your money with Fanatics in Croatia!

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TRANSFERS also available to/from Barcelona, Bilbao, Madrid, Rock Werchter & Lagos!

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OKTOBERFEST MUNICH’S INCREDIBLE BEER FESTIVAL! 17 SEP-3 OCT ■ Weekend Camping £149 ■ Weekend Hostels fr£189 ■ Weekend Hotel £349 ■ Prague & Buda Fest 8 Day Tour £329 ■ London 6 Day Coach Tours £259 All weekend packages three nights Friday-Monday. Mid-week camping & hostel options also available!

SKIFEST SPEND XMAS & NYE IN THE FRENCH ALPS! ■ 6 Days on the snow all-incl fr£529 ✔ Flight & coach travel ✔ Accom ✔ Ski pass & hire

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

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TOURS

PAMPLONA – CAMPING:

FLIGHTS TRAVEL

TRAVEL INSURANCE £7 Accra Auckland Bangkok Bogata Bombay/Delhi Cairo Cape Town Caribbean Chicago Dubai Harare Havana Hong Kong Jo’Burg

FLIGHTS | TOURS

100

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EUROSTAR £79 RETURN

CLASSIC Travel

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ROYAL ASCOT

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3 Day Hotel Tour £149

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9 Day Imperial Cities Tour £415 re £390 9 Day Mountains & Coasts Adventu 5 £22 b 3 Day Mount Toubkal Clim

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111

IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks). > MONEY : Average A$1000 - A$1500 pw. > LIFESTYLE : Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way. > TRAVEL : IPG has offices in the UK, NZ, AU, IRE & RSA – work there, or simply take unlimited leave whenever you want to travel the world. > GREAT MATES : IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night. Awesome parties! Like to hear more? Come & meet us for a drink & a chat. If you like what you see – bingo! Immediate start. Full training provided. Currently recruiting in

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WANTED

112

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Princess you’ve left me!!: So

114

many good memories but good on you for trying something different to the usual two-year memory loss in London! Highlights have to be Prague mullets, people watching/judging/chatty/ Redback sun/anyday sessions, many many nights in front of MTV, goodness, cougar attacks, Hugh Grant, UNNECESSARY fast food stops on the way home, your excuses for not sleeping with people … and we mustn’t forget Blue Valentine!! Maybe if you lower your standards you’ll find someone to lick your pussy soon … otherwise Maciek will do most things if you suck his ‘pennus’ first!! Ciao bella!! Mands PS: You’re beautiful! Glasto Travellers! For all those peeps headed to Glasto – get on our bus! We’ve hired a 50-seater to get to the festival, and to get the most primo camping spot we’re leaving London in the dead of the night on Tuesday (Weds AM). We’ll be at the gates before they open on Wednesday, June 22 and return at 2pm on the Monday and it only costs £30 return! Waaay better deal than some companies out there, cheaper and less hassle than driving and much more fun! Get on board! Email getontheglastobus@ yahoo.co.uk Happy Birthday Chandu: I hope you have an amazing birthday and we’ll make it the best one ever, starting with this message!! I miss you loads and cannot wait to see you after your silly exams and oh-so-long coursework.

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com

You’ve worked hard, now let’s play hard! Your Bubbi, Thanks a million, Tej To the loud music playing crew in the flat above me in Forsyth House on Tachbrook Street: Keep the Cold Chisel

coming! Only next time, play Khe Sanh even louder – my non-Aussie flatmates need educating! Mickey: I knew you’d get sick of hanging out with all those cows in Switz-za-land (and I ain’t talking about the bovines, no sirreee!) All that cheese, chocolate and wealth and must surely rot the brain but what’s worrying me is why you’re not coming back to good old Blighty and heading straight back to Oz. What? The trains not clean enuff for ya and don’t run like clockwork. So London’s gritty urbanscape doesn’t quite match up to pretty mountain peaks and Alpine pastures? You soft bastard – you’ve changed! I’ll miss you though. But don’t come moaning to me when your Swiss Bank-funded property in the Outback or whatever leaves you feeling like chairman of the bored. Actually do, cos I’d have you

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I love you lots, my bean bag:

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Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

If you’re looking for

or just

back in heartbeat (but I might say ‘I told you so’). Bitchyface. Hey Toy Boy: Congrats for exploring new territory with me at the weekend. Hope I didn’t scare your 19-year-old nuts off! You were very brave. Anyway, it’s Wednesday afternoon and I still can’t walk so job well done. Fancy meeting up for a re-match? Didn’t take your number as it ain’t my style but I’ll be in the Hammersmith Crabtree again this Saturday. No knickers, I promise. And I’ve been VERY bad. Kisses and slaps, Jem xxx Cate and David: So glad you’ve come back to these shores to visit us, and with a little tacker in tow too. She’s a little cutie just like her parents. I only wish you could stay longer so we could all hang out together like the good old days in North London checking out the yummy food on the Green Lanes. Wow, time does fly when you’re having fun. See you in BrisVegas before the year is out.

food on our hols soon. La Deliciosa! Lots of love, Little Skittle. Big guy: Who would have thought a game of pool could be so much fun – it was the best first date I’ve ever been on! You can knock balls in my pockets any time. Ridgey. Wayne from Dubbo: We met at the Slug and Lettuce in Wimbledon a few weeks back. We had a great night and I didn’t feel cheap or used in the morning at all. And I totally believed you when you said you don’t think girls who put out on the first date are sluts. You seemed totally like a sensitive New Age guy and I just know you would never bullshit me. So that’s why I know the reason you haven’t called is not because you think I’m a cheap whore-bag but because you’ve probably lost my number or are too shy to call. I totally understand. So I’ll see you down at the Slug same time this weekend? If not, don’t worry, I know where you live and I’ll come over and give you a nice surprise. Tess. Savile Row: I’m gonna miss having someone to wrangle Sloaney Ponies with. It’s a shame you can’t stay longer cos this great TV show called Made In Chelsea just started. It’s all about these rich chicks with names like Binky and Jesska and all the posho shit they get up to on the weekend. It would have been great for research for chasing the fillies. But you’re on to pastures new now anyway. Hope the Aussie chicks back home are up to your expensive tastes. Wingman.

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