TNT Magazine / Issue 1450

Live, Work & Travel

June 13-19 2011 Issue 1450 tntmagazine.com

CROATIA CALLING

ILNTA!LK W AVE

TR RIP SAILING TO FOR T W

Ditch Glasto for a sun-filled festival

CITY’S POP-UP PHENOMENON

£1 where sold

Guide to where flash retail will strike next

GET STONED uid at Unleash your inner dr the Summer Solstice party

MEET LEMBIT OPIK: THE COLOURFUL CHARACTER RUNNING FOR MAYOR

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

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this week June 13-19 / Issue 1450 Free every Monday tntmagazine.com

Front Cover: Getty Images

EDITOR’S LETTER Sunday is a day of rest, right? Wrong!

If you’re stumped for things to do to make the most of the last day of the weekend, turn to P14 our top events.

Are you off to the Ascot races? If so, you’ll need our essential bluffer’s guide to ensure you at least sound as though you know what you’re talking about (P42). Ever thought you or someone you know was a psychopath?

We speak to Jon Ronson about how to spot one. Take the test on P24. Good luck!

70 Explore Cappodocia by hot air balloon

55 TRAVEL

CAROL DRIVER

56 Druid to me one more time

55 Global Vision 56 ROCK OF AGES: Get up close and personal with Stonehenge 58 Late Deals 61 TNTT Weekender: Vienna 62 Hotshots 64 FESTIVAL TIME: Have some fun in the sun in Zadar, Croatia 66 Travel Tips 67 Travel News 68 On The Road 69 Top Five 70 TALKING TURKEY: Explore the wonderland of Cappadocia

36 NEWS & SPORT

102 CLASSIFIEDS

36 World News 38 LEMBIT OPIK: Colourful ex-MP on his London mayoral aspirations 41 Our view: Prince Philip’s gaffes 42 Sport: Best Of The Week 45 Sport View: The rise of the English 46 A DAY AT THE RACES: Bluff your way through Royal Ascot

102 Freight 108 Classifieds

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 HERE TODAY...: The pick of London’s upcoming pop-up shops 12 Food & Drink 14 THAT’S WHY I’M EASY: Get acquainted with London Sundays 16 Spotted 18 Silly Buggers

21 ENTERTAINMENT 21 Celebrity News 22 TNT Life 23 Look Who’s Talking: Camille O’ Sullivan 24 PSYCHOVILLE: Author John Ronson on how to spot a psycho 26 Cinema 27 Culture

28 MUSIC & CLUBS 28 31 32 34 35

Album Of The Week Gigs Of The Week Music Listings Clubbing Listings Clubbing

24 Learn how to spot a psycho

49 CAREERS & MONEY 49 Careers 50 FIRST IMPRESSIONS: It’s time to give your CV a makeover 52 Money

REGULARS 4 Letters 6 Wins 114 Desperately Seeking 38 Lembit Opik for London mayor?

23 Sexy with a dark edge: Camille O’Sullivan

Tell us what you think at facebook.com/ tntmag or tweet @tntmagazine

YOUR SAY...

EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Content editors: Travel Janine Kelso Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Features/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent Sub editor: Jahn Vannisselroy

How skinny is too skinny?

What is all of this nonsense about Leanne Rimes being anorexic? To some she may be a homewrecker and there is that part about singing country songs, so I can see why it is so easy to dislike her.

However, she has a rocking body!

The kind that I have been working SO hard all my life for – well that’s a lie, but it is the kind of body every athletic girl could hope for. It’s toned and muscular, but not so muscular she looks like a dude (ahem, Williams sisters). I really don’t know how she could be called anorexic – especially with the photographic evidence of someone with a rockin’ bod.

Kudos, Leanne. Maybe it’s that kind of competitive, must-win attitude that scored you your current bloke.

Emily, via email

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Astrid Breacker Design and production executives Justine Mackay | Laura Doyle Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified sales manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison Eddie Clinton | Stuart Shirra Michael Darrington | Donovan Smith Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill Social media co-ordinator Daniel Cape ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts | Ewa Marks TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst TNT Publishing Ltd Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images PUBLISHER

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WE CAN LEARN FROM THE WISDOM OF OTHERS

THE WAR ON THE WAR ON DRUGS CONTINUES

I was on the bus chatting to a woman who was born during WWI and it was fascinating talking to her about her experience of living through WWII and how London has changed since those days.

So it’s worth remembering that we should all take more time to talk to old people as it’s a nice thing to do and a great way to learn things you might otherwise never know.

London-bedouin, via tntmagazine.com

Due to the illegal, criminal status of drugs, the price is high – making it a profitable business for producers, traffickers and dealers who flood the streets with addictive, expensive poisons often mixed with other dangerous impurities to make extra profits in the streets causing real mental illness.

This contributes to making the war on drugs actually the real threat to public health.

Due to international governments’ approach of generalisation of all drugs and the lack of general proper, unbiased and factual education, few people know the difference between different kind of drugs.

Law enforcements always talk about how “drugs are bad”. As if nicotine and alcohol are not harmful drugs.

Active, via tntmagazine.com

If sprinter Usain Bolt ever makes the Manchester United team when he retires from the track then I will personally climb the Michael Jackson statue at Fulham – naked!

RIP, Mikey, RIP. Adrian, via email

NEXT WEEK IN

London

MATTERS OF THE ART I hope the street art in east London is not covered for the Olympics. It makes the urban landscape so colourful.

Jimmy, Bethnal Green

Your tweets to @tntmagazine @jodester1980: don’t pitch tent at bottom of hill or next to

fence, cause you know you’ll wake up covered in wee :( @Jemonade: Condoms! Don’t be silly wrap your willy! @clintheine: tube strikes? once again?! Fire them all!!!!

WIN!

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Prize is not transferable. Your Say is a reader forum and does not represent the opinions of TNT or its staff.

Interview

Get naughty

Meow Meow

TNT Images

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group.

Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Leanne Rimes: hot or not?

AND YOU THOUGHT RYAN GIGGS WAS FAST

LETTER OF THE WEEK

LONDON LIFE

TNT’S BOOT SALE FUN

Artist Pam Hoggart

PREVIEW: VAUXHALL ART CAR BOOT SALE Fancy yourself a bit of a wheeler-dealer? Then head to this boot-sale-witha-difference and you might end up with far more than you bargained for.

Top-name traders, including Chantal Joffee, Gavin Turk, Pure Evil and Pete Fowler, pitch up just off Brick Lane to sell an array of their own works.

There will also be exclusive pieces available from the likes of Damien Hirst and Tracey Emin.

Curated by Ashton and Hayward and sponsored by Vauxhall Motors, the event will also showcase fresh talent, with a vehicles commission by Catlin Art

TNT images; Getty images

48 hours in...

Prize’s Justin Hammond.

If art’s not your thing, there will also be entertainment courtesy of The Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club.

And delicious food and drink will be on sale courtesy of Ox-heart buns, St John’s Bread and Wine and the Southampton Arms.

You’ll also be able to draw your own book cover with Penguin Classics as well as have your portrait done Star Trek-style with Jessica Voorsanger. If the sun’s shining, it’ll be a top day out.

CAROL DRIVER

» Corner of Brick Lane and Buxton Street, E1 Shoreditch High St (artcarbootfair.com).

Sunday, June 19. £3

Short break

Belgrade

Palio de Siena

WIN

HOW TO ENTER Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random

A CROATIA SAILING TRIP OF A LIFETIME TNT and Travel Talk have teamed up to give lucky one reader (and a friend) a Croatia sailing trip of a lifetime – worth £1500.

With nearly 2000km of unspoiled shores, peaceful coves, stunning bays and more than a thousand islands, Croatia boasts one of the most dramatic stretches of coastline that Europe has to offer.

You’ll start off in Split before moving on to Makarsa, Trstenik, Dubrovnik, Mijet, Korcula, Hvar, ending up back in Split, all in the comfort of an ‘A’ category, plush sailing boat. You’ll have plenty to enjoy while soaking up the sunshine.

» See traveltalktours.com

WIN MORE 4 16 26 35 62 62 66 68

Ireland tour Guidebooks 127 Hours DVD tickets Clubbing tickets A three-day tour of Scotland Photography course Cash and guidebooks A trip to Bath and Stonehenge

PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 1446: Medsailors yachting trip on the Adriatic: Arthur Humphreys & Amy Vaughan TNT 1446: Annual memberships to the Hemel Hempstead Snow: James Holyland

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

TASTE OF LONDON £26 WHAT: It’s a true food extravaganza, with chefs from restaurants around London competing for the attention of your taste buds.

There are workshops and wine tasting and enough cheese and fancy produce to sate even the most discerning gastrophile.

WHEN: June 16-19 DO IT BECAUSE: What better way to spend a summer’s day in London than strolling through the park with a full stomach and few glasses of vino under one’s belt? Who knows – you might even pick up a few tricks you can use in your own kitchen.

8

» Regent’s Park, Chester Rd, NW1 4NR

Regent’s Park

(tastefestivals.com/london)

Old-school Americana

Capital idea: Lucky 7 and Crazy Homies The Brits are perfectly happy to look down their noses at much of the culture exported across the pond from America – it’s all a bit gauche and down-market, don’t you know?

It is a curious quirk of taste, then, that American dinerthemed restaurants are so wildly popular. Indeed, while so much of the States’ pop culture is regarded suspiciously, Lucky 7 and Crazy Homies, representing the cheesiest Americana, have blossomed into West London institutions.

Next door to one another, Lucky 7 specialises in good old-fashioned burgers and enormous milkshakes while Crazy Homies is a gaudily colourful Mexican joint custom-built for washing down burritos with tequila.

Bring your appetite and leave your sense of superiority at home. TS

MARYLEBONE SUMMER FAYRE FREE

URBAN PHYSIC GARDEN FREE

The streets of Marylebone Village are closed to traffic, taken over instead by stalls, entertainment and a market.

A neglected strip of urban London has been transformed into a green space brimming with medicinal plants. Also has a supper club on site.

» Marylebone High St, W1U 5HD Baker Street (marylebonesummerfayre. com). Jun 19

» 100 Union St, SE1 0NL Southwark (physicgarden. org.uk). Jun 11-Aug 14 The streets of Marylebone throng with crowds

» 127 Westbourne Park Rd, W2 5QL Westbourne Park (lucky7london.co.uk; crazyhomieslondon.co.uk).

BRITAIN EXPLAINED LONDON BY NUMBERS

20.2 Source: london.gov.uk

Situated between the British mainland and France, the Bailiwick of Guernsey is part of the Channel Islands, an anomaly that enjoys political independence from the mainland but which relies on the Commonwealth for its defence and retains God Save The Queen as it national anthem.

Guernsey was occupied by the Germans during the Second World War and was heavily fortified by Hitler’s

invading forces. Bizarrely, many of the German’s defences on the island remain intact nearly 70 years after the end of the war.

On the mainland, Guernsey is unenviably stereotyped

as reactionary and backward – a certain stripe of right-wing politics enjoys particular traction there. For example, it was only in 1996 that abortion became legal and the British National Party has been well supported there in the past.

The topic of Guernsey acquiring full independence is often discussed on the island, with one proposal involving a partnership with Jersey, an island neighbour, as a single sovereign state. TS

Medioimages, TNT Images

Percentage of London households that are rented

GUERNSEY

Bring your appetites to Taste of London

SPITALFIELDS MUSIC SUMMER FESTIVAL

WATCH ME MOVE: ANIMATED SHOW £12

Spitalfields, a great melting pot of the capital, hosts one of its most eclectic festivals, fusing electronica with folk and classical. A celebration of London’s different strokes.

The Barbican throws its creative and curatorial heft behind a showcase of animation spanning 150 years, taking in the classics as well as contemporary work.

» Various venues around

» Barbican Centre, Silk

Spitalfields Old Street (spitalfieldsmusic.org.uk).

Jun 10-26. Prices vary

St, EC2Y 8DS Barbican (barbican.org.uk). Jun 15Sep 11

Check out the art on display at Free Range

FREE RANGE FREE A showcase of fine art, product design, graphics, illustration, textiles and photography produced by the capital’s edgiest colleges. It changes week-toweek, rewarding return visits.

TNT Images

» Old Truman Brewery, 91 Liverpool Brick Lane, E1 6QL Street (free-range.org.uk). FriMon, until July 24

CONNAUGHT VILLAGE SUMMER FESTIVAL FREE The northeast corner of Hyde Park gets the summer festival makeover, with traditional fetes, fairground rides and the always popular dog show.

An enduringly pleasant way to spend a mid-week evening.

» Connaught St, W2 2BH Marble Arch (connaughtvillage.co.uk). Jun 15

Enjoy a Wicked musical

POP GOES THE CITY From shops to fine dining, temporary venues are exploding on to London’s social scene. Here’s our pick of the best WORDS CAROL DRIVER Dine in Dishoom cafe

B

outique-style temporary venues are springing up across the capital. From restaurants and retail to charity and entertainment, the pop-up phenomenon, which takes over unused spaces and outlets, is spreading fast.

But the venues are only there for a limited amount of time – sometimes just a matter of hours.

So, to ensure you don’t blink and miss them, here’s our guide to this summer’s fleeting trend.

tntmagazine.com

» 76-98 Victoria St, SW1 (cardinal place.co.uk) Victoria.

Wednesday, June 15, 12.30pm-1.30pm

DISHOOM CAFE If an old Bombay café opened up on its local beach (while perhaps on a mild acid trip), the result would be Dishoom Chowpatty Beach.

The critically acclaimed eatery offers an Indian summer along with 48 tonnes of sand, as part of the Southbank Centre’s Festival Of Britain.

Kick off your flip-flops, tuck into tasty Bombay food and sip sweet tipples while enjoying impromptu, unplugged gigs.

» Queen Elizabeth Hall Terrace, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX (dishoom.com) Waterloo.

Until October 4

Getty images, TNT images

WEST END MUSICAL Sing-a-long to musical classics as cast members from award-winning West End musicals Wicked and Billy Elliot descend on the roof garden of Cardinal Place.

Then squeal with delight as the Gleeks, Britain’s answer to Glee, add their own unique brand of musical madness to the lunchtime singing

sessions. Head along to this spectacular for a lunchtime lift that won’t cost a penny.

Pop in for a Magners

LONDON 11

Young Turks at Create London

MAILLE MUSTARD BOUTIQUE Like mustard? Then head to this one-off supperclub, which aims to celebrate all things related to the yellow condiment.

An unusual theme for a pop-up, the Maille Mustard Boutique will draw on 260 years of the company’s heritage and celebrate a new range.

Dine by night, and by day it becomes a tasting hub for fare such as chocolate mustard.

» Old Spitalfields Market, Spitalfields, EC1 6EW (maille.co.uk) July 13-17

Liverpool St.

NOMAD CINEMA Between July and September, the Nomad pop-up cinema will be roaming around some top city parks and venues, screening nostalgic must-sees.

Film favourites such as Groundhog Day, Back To The Future, Raging Bull, Romeo + Juliet and Time Bandits will be screened outdoors, including at Greenwich’s Old Royal Naval College and York Hall in Bethnal Green. Just bring popcorn.

a frozen yoghurt from the Frae pop-up and creature a summer postcard on its iPhone2 stand after having a complimentary makeover.

scarf and a signed writing desk from exLibertines star, Carl Barat.

com)

THE MAGNERS PASTURE A Magners on ice is the perfect summer tipple. Now you can sup til your heart’s content at The Pasture, which opened in conjunction with the Udderbelly Festival.

It’s free entry at the 1000-capacity outdoor venue which also has table service, so you won’t need to spend hours queuing at the bar.

TV screens will show events such as Wimbledon, and, if you’re feeling competitive, challenge your friends to a few games on the customised, applethemed foosball tables.

» 189 Oxford Street, W1D 2JY (topshop.

CREATE LONDON Indulge in two weeks of fine dining, as a host of underground restaurants appear as part of a festival in Canary Wharf.

The eateries will be in a secret location on the estate to coincide with East London’s Create11.

Restaurants In Residence will be showcasing London’s lesser-known meal experiences with visits from Bistroteque and The Clove Club.

» Secret location (createlondon.org) June 25-July 5

» Various locations

Getty images;, TNT images

(whereisthenomad.com), July-September

DIGITAL WORKSHOP Learn something new at Top Shop’s pop-up Fashion Photography In The Digital Age workshop.

The Dazed Digital event will focus on how the art has evolved. You can also grab

Oxford Circus

Charity donation: Sienna Miller

CHARITY SHOP A team of A-list celebrities is joining forces with ShelterBox to help raise cash for the disaster relief charity. Sienna Miller, Marina Diamandis, Sarah Burton and Emma Watson have all donated items to be sold.

These include a suit worn by Kevin Spacey, a Sarah Burtonsigned Alexander McQueen

» 80 Regent St, W1B 5HH (shelterbox.org) Piccadilly Circus. Until June 18

» Southbank Centre, Belvedere Road, SE1 8XX (udderbelly.com) Until July 17

Waterloo.

WHIZZBANGPOP Two chefs and a sommelier have launched this uniquely random pop-up restaurant.

Guests turn up at a random location – one of the events was on a houseboat – and sit down to enjoy a meal with a wine to match each course – and an expert on hand to tell you why it works.

You don’t order off a menu, but previous WhizzBangPop meals have included chilli and lime fennel salad with prawns and squid and harissa roasted lamb with green quinoa.

» Various locations (whizzbangpop. com). Next event June 17

tntmagazine.com

FOOD & DRINK

BAR REVIEW Soho Sky Terrace ★★★★★

LONDON

The Courthouse Doubletree

by Hilton, 19 Great Marlborough Street, W1F 7HL, 020 7297 5555 Oxford Circus

THE SCENE Escape to a rooftop oasis as the world hustles by on Oxford and Carnaby Streets below you. Low, white

12

seating, faux grass and wooden lattice screens give the sky bar an exotic, retro feel. If the sun’s shining it’s a winner, otherwise there are canopies to shelter under.

THE GRUB Grab a plate of nachos, a salad or olives if you just feel like nibbling. For something heartier, the BBQ prawns or Haloumi are great.

BEHIND THE BAR You’re here

for a decadent drink so go for a peach and elderflower Bellini or a Mojito. There’s also wine and bottled beer.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails from ÂŁ9.30, beer ÂŁ4.90, wine ÂŁ5.

BBQ dishes from ÂŁ9.95.

VERDICT You can’t afford to booze here all night but pop in mid-shopping trip for some elegance and alcoholic fortitude. FRANKIE MULLIN

Restaurant review A Grelha ★★★★★

27 Coldharbour Lane, Docklands, E14 9NS Canary Wharf

SANGRIA BARS Bar Kick Check out Shoreditch at a table outside, sprawl on a sofa or play table football. Drinking a sangria, naturally. Always busy, buzzy and friendly. cafekick.co.uk/bar-kick

Get that holiday feeling at A Grelha

Accompanied by a big salad and a bowl of fries, it’s perfect.

You can also try traditional Algarve dishes like the Cataplana seafood stew or a giant Spanish paella to share.

BEHIND THE BAR Go for beer,

wine, cocktails or a jugs of Pimm’s or Sangria.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails from ÂŁ7.80, main courses about ÂŁ20.

VERDICT Pricey but special.

Your date will be impressed.

FRANKIE MULLIN

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ith Served awnd chips yle st Spur- r a gs o onion ripnotato or baked salad. side

Offer not valid with any other promotion or special.

Bring in voucher to receive this special. Terms and conditions apply. Valid until 30 June 2011. The least expensive combo meal is free.

0RKDZN 6SXU Southside Shopping Centre, Wandsworth. Tel: 0208 874 0831

tntmagazine.com

Cubana We know sangria isn’t Cuban, but that doesn’t stop this Waterloo joint mixing a mean jug.

Soak it up with Cuban tapas. cubana.co.uk

Roman Grill A light, airy Islington restaurant, serving a great, fruity sangria as well as some of London’s best Spanish tapas. romangrill.co.uk

Getty Images

ZZZ XNVSXU FR XN

THE SCENE It’s sunny but windy the evening we visit this al fresco Portuguese seafood restaurant on the Thames. As we settle at a table overlooking the 02 Stadium, a waitress hurries over with blankets for our knees. Sangria in hand, we survey the racing clouds, wooden decking, display of fresh seafood and sizzling BBQ. Bar the view, which is unmistakably London, we could quite possibly be in Portugal’s Algarve – and we like that.

THE GRUB We begin with garlicky baby squid and mussels cooked in white wine.

For our main course we share enormous Madagascan prawns and a whole sea bass. All is fresh and simply cooked without any heavy seasoning masking the flavours.

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We’re also giving you a chance to win some free stuff, and you love free stuff...so visit the TNT website for all the deets.

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‘Put your hands up if you’re on it’

S Y A D N U S ) Y Z A L (Not so From dance clubs to punting in the East End, there are a multitude of ways to eke out the joy in your weekend WORDS REBECCA KENT

S

unday, a day of rest? Pft. There’s no rush-hour, people are in good spirits (or sleeping them off) and with so many options for things to do, weather can never be an issue. Here is TNT’s pick of the best ways to end your week. Have your boss’s number handy, it might be a late one.

SECRET SUNDAZE At various outdoor venues across London, a stylish, hedonistic crowd throbs to house, techno and party music from some of Europe’s most kicking DJs. This year, it celebrates 10 years on the clubbing circuit.

» Venue tbc. Next event, June 26, 2pm-

10.30pm. £9.50/14.50. (secretsundaze.net)

tntmagazine.com

» The Mandeville Hotel, Mandeville

Place, W1U 2BE Bond Street. Sundays 1-5pm. £26.50. (mandeville.co.uk)

SUNDAY SHOOTS If you’re feeling photogenic on a Sunday morning, take a stroll down Columbia Road flower markets and duck into the studio of Seamus Ryan. The photographer invites punters to be his subjects and express different emotions or actions, such as jumping, looking mad, screaming and shouting. The images are posted on the Sunday Shoot website the following week, and prints of your portraits are available to buy.

» Sunday Shoots, E2 7RH

Old Street 10am-3pm. Free. (sundayshoots.com)

Getty Images

A right punt: take a trip down the Thames

AFTERNOON TEA AT THE MANDEVILLE There’s nothing that will make one’s manly veneer slip away faster than dainty cucumber sandwiches and tea.

That’s why the Deville restaurant lays on meat pies and steak sandwiches for the lads and leaves it to the women to follow convention.

To the fore: Urban Golf

“Wow John, that acid’s really good”

LONDON 15 Grub’s up at The Mandeville

COMEDY AT THE RED LION Deliciously funny Catie Wilkins MCs this new Sunday comedy night, held twice a month. It presents big names and fresh talent alike, including Richard Herring and Trevor Lock.

» New Red Lion Sunday Night Comedy, 271-273 City Road, EC1V 1LA Angel 8pm. £10. (redliontheatres.co.uk)

EAST VILLAGE SUNDAY CLUB Why stop at Saturday night? Some serious beats spew out from the basement of this top-notch club from a glittering array of names on the deck, joining the Sunday Club Orchestra DJs.

» Vinopolis, 1 Bank End, SE1 9BU

» East Village, EC2A 3HX

London Bridge from £50. (vinopolis.co.uk)

BLUES KITCHEN JAM Bring your instruments or just yourself and jam with the house Blues Kitchen Band. If you’re no good, they’ll help a brother out.

PUNT IN MILE END It’s no Cambridge, but having a go at punting in the slightly grittier surrounds of East London comes with its own set of quirks. The flotilla goes northwards to Old Ford Lock, or along the Hertford Union Canal towards Hackney Wick to Hertford Union Top Lock. See London from a new perspective.

Old Street 8pm-2am. Free before 10pm, £4 after. (eastvillageclub.co.uk)

» Blues Kitchen, NW1 7JN

Camden Town. Every Sunday, 6pm-midnight.

Free. (theblueskitchen.com)

Seamus Ryan, Morgan O’Donovan

VINOPOLIS ROAST AND WINE If you’ve a propensity to simply neck a glass of wine, then consider a tasting session so you can at least learn how to size up its ‘legs’ first. Do a ‘round the world’ wine tour at Vinopolis after tucking into a Sunday roast, between noon-1.30pm at Brew Wharf, as part of a wine-and-dine package.

THE RAT RACE Move over Bear Grylls. On the Sunday of this ultimate urban weekend adventure, Nine 2 Five, teams of two or three face an eight-hour challenge including kayaking, abseiling and biking around the capital.

Expect outrageous capers at weird and wonderful locations. The less daring should try Saturday’s Means Streets Adventure.

» Rat Race Urban Adventure Series, SE1 2AA London Bridge. Sep 24-25 £35/69/99. (ratraceadventure.com)

» Hire at the towpath of

the Regent’s Canal near Mile End Road bridge Mile End. 1pm-6pm. £18 an hour or £12 extra for a chauffeur.

THE BEATLES MAGIC MYSTERY TOUR Follow the “pied piper of Beatlemania” on this walking tour of the Fab Four’s London haunts: their Apple offices, where they played the famous

rooftop session; Paul McCartney’s headquarters; and Abbey Road Studios.

» London Walks. Meet outside

Tottenham Court Road. 11am each Sunday. £8. (walks.com)

SILENT FILM AND LIVE MUSIC Watch some of the earliest animation and special effects in film history with a screening of Georges Méliès’ landmark silent film, A Trip to the Moon (1902).

Composers and musicians of the Guildhall’s Electronic Music Studios will play a live score so you don’t have to endure the sound of hands in popcorn buckets.

» Barbican Centre, Silk Street, London EC2Y 8DS Barbican/Moorgate.

June 26. 4pm. £9.50 (barbican.org.uk)

URBAN GOLF Try your hand at golf without the walking, the inclement weather or the risk of twowheeling a buggie. You can choose to play at 50 of the world’s most famous courses on a simulator and see if you’re a match for Tiger and his ilk. There’s a bar and food to tuck into when you’re not sinking balls.

» Urban Golf, Soho and High Street

Kensington. Sunday half-price rates are £20 per hour. (urbangolf.co.uk)

Sunday Shoots: Don’t get too much of a big head

SPOTTED ARE YOU SPOTTED IN THE CIRCLE?

LONDON

Email us at marketing@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Spotted’ in the subject line, email must include a photo of yourself! You’ve won a Lonely Planet (lonelyplanet. com) guide of your choice.

16

POLO IN THE PARK Hurlingham Park, Saturday, 4 June Photos by: Rebecca Kent/Barbara Cullan/TNT Images

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SILLY BUGGERS

18

I’m a pretty confident guy but have real problems talking to women.

I sweat and get nervous and it all goes pear-shaped. Where am I going wrong?

Q

A

You sound confused because, like most guys, you don’t know what women want. And, admittedly, in this topsy-turvy 21st-century minefield of mixed signals and cross-purposes, it’s easy for two people to lose each other in the tunnel of love.

So keep it simple – we want you to pay for shit and let us dress you. If you keep that in mind, all that’s left is to cash

TOOL OF THE WEEK Flexi-time felon

take your chances? The art of seduction is all about chat and body language.

So next time, approach her as though she’s a horse you intend to break – you stand legs akimbo, chin up, crotch thrust outward. As for the chat, imagine you’re talking to a mildly retarded teenage boy who is holding you at gunpoint. It’s an instructive prism because it essentially pits your sweaty, mounting desperation against her fevered irrationality.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

# 431

JOIN THE OLYMPIC SYCHRONISED SWIMMING TEAM AFTER MISSING OUT ON TICKETS. DID ANYONE GET ANY?

Silly Buggers™

Getty Images

We know crims are bent but this takes it to a whole new level. Krzysztof Grzegorz, a contortionist, regularly curled up inside a suitcase and stole from tourists’ luggage on a Barcelona bus route.

The 1.78m crook was loaded on to the bus by an accomplice.

The flexible thief would then get out and look for valuables using a torch.

After Krzysztof was arrested a police spokesman joked: “I believe this is what the British call an open-and-shut case.”

Ouch. Pity there’s no law against bad jokes, eh...

A

In any relationship, in your self-respect, which, by finding each other’s the sound of things, shouldn’t wave-length and establishing take you too long anyway. a dialogue is crucial, never But if you’re still struggling, more so than in those magical I guess you should workshop early stages of courtship when your material with women you are trying to trick her into whose attention you can buy. sleeping with you.

Hit your nearest strip joint Sure, if you hang around and try out all your different long enough lines and you may conversation eventually starters – it’s wear her a great way down. Or you to build your can just hope confidence. she drinks Guys used enough to to do this all make some the time when bad decisions.

I was dancing ct perfe Practice makes But why – it’s win-win.

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STAR SPOTTING

CELEBRITY NEWS ➩

Rebecca Kent WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ A GOOD WEEK FOR

NEW ZEALAND

This man had a wee-in-the-pants moment, would you believe it?

Woman’s Weekly: A slow week in NZ, with Pippa Middleton and her ambitious social plot burying a story about former All Black Sean Fitzpatrick teaching children how to be successful. Yawn.

Cameron Diaz’s life of solitude might be a better read. Or not.

Nicole Kidman makes her foray into the world of YouTube with her very first video. It’s a thank-you message to her fans and as boring as a brass doorknob, but at least she had a crack.

AUSTRALIA

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

It was one execrable contribution to cinema too many for Jennifer Love Hewitt who, based on Rottentomatoes. com scores, is the worst actress in Hollywood. Ouch!

Getty Images

J-AIL FOR J-RULE Bad ass hitmaker Ja Rule, has been sentenced to two years in the slammer for possession of a firearm. It was a loaded, unregistered, 40-calibre semiautomatic, to be precise, and stashed in his car when police pulled him over for speeding in 2007. He pleaded guilty last December. Despite his fate, the rapper managed a rather understated “see y’all later” as he was handcuffed and led away from the Lower Manhattan courthouse. His last free days were spent finishing his LP, Pain is Love.

ROYAL MOMENT Hellraiser Alice Cooper has revealed how he nearly put a bullet in Elvis Presley’s head after an encounter in a Las Vegas hotel in 1971.

The shock rocker told the Daily Mirror that when he met the King for the first time, he handed him a pistol and told him to put it to his head.

Cooper said, “I didn’t know what to do. I had this gun in my hand and was expecting one of his security to come in any second, see me holding

a weapon and shoot me dead.

“A little voice in my left ear was telling me, ‘Go on, this is history, kill him, you’ll always be the guy who killed Elvis’. In my other ear was another voice saying, ‘You can’t kill him, it’s Elvis Presley – wound him instead, you’ll only get a few years!’

Elvis then did a flying kick on the gun, pinned Cooper to the ground and announced, “That’s how you stop a man with a gun.” That’s gangsta.

SAY WHAT?

”Cheryl who? Cheryl will soon be a distant memory, believe me.”

Louis Walsh shows his loyalty to the Geordie pop star

Woman’s Day: Bec Hewitt harbours regrets about putting her acting career on hold to raise a family while she strides about Paris like the pained wife of a tennis pro; and, after seven years, Mele Kisina, sister of Bali drug trafficker, Schapelle Corby comes out of hiding and vows to bring her sis home; plus, TV star, Jo Grigg’s weight loss weapon: a 50-year-old mum.

SOUTH AFRICA Heat: Elma Smit is crowned Lady Rugga in the reality TV hunt to find SuperSport’s first lady rugby presenter amid a storm of accusations over rigging.

The mag spews all the juicy details over the Leonardo DiCaprio and Blake Lively affair and mourns Hollywood couple casualties, Kristen Stewart and R-Patz, Scarlet and Sean, Cameron and Alex, et al.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

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ENTERTAINMENT

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

21

TNT LIFE ENTERTAINMENT

Nadal plumps for green and blue

TNT LITTLE BLACK BOOK Like free stuff? Get yourself a copy of TNT’s Little Black Book, packed with more than 150 deals and savings on drinks, food, clubbing, gymming, West End Shows, beauty treatments plus travel deals.

» Buy it for only £6 (+pp) at tntmagazine.com/lbb

22

IT’S GAME, SET AND MATCH AT OUR WIMBLEDON PARTY Sport your sweatbands and come dressed as your favourite tennis player for TNT Wimbledon finals party.

We’ll take any excuse to throw a bash, and what better reason than the main event of England’s finest – and poshest –sporting event. Forget Murray’s Mound and queuing before

the sun even rises, we’ll play the match on the screen, drink cocktails, play silly games, give away wicked prizes and, of course, gobble strawberries and cream. Game on. » Elk Bar, Fulham Road, SW6 6UA. Jul 3, 11am-midnight Fulham Broadway.

See tntmagazine.com/wimbledon

Teach English o/s If you want to combine work with travel, then teaching English as a foreign language could be the job for you.

TNT’s TEFL courses are only £150, with certificates recognised in non-English speaking countries globally.

Complete the 18-hour course and qualify to teach children, teens or adults.

PROST! DRINK TO JUNEFEST Forget the London Olympics, the Bavarian Drinking Olympics is the real test of human endurance and for 10 smackers, you can witness this fearless event.

Grab your free stein and take part yourself. With your ticket, you’ll get a pretzel to line your gut, a live Oompah band and tunes from a German DJ to take you into the

wee hours. Iron your dirndls and lederhosen guys and gals. » Junefest, Octoberfest Pub, Fulham Road, SW6 6SA. Sun, Parsons Green. See Jun 6 tntmagazine.com/junefest

TNT online For a full guide to our TNT events, go to tntmagazine. com/events

SAVE ON ASCOT TICKETS Save 25 per cent on tickets to Ascot racing events, including Royal Ascot, and enjoy the tradition, fashion, pageantry and style that is synonymous with this worldfamous racecourse – not to mention fine competition. Be quick, tickets are selling fast.

» Ascot Racecourse, Berkshire SL5 7JX. See tntmagazine.com/events

Barbican, Thinkstock

tntmagazine.com

Learn how to speak French or Spanish with TNT’s Learn the Lingo and mingle with the locals on your next holiday.

After a five-week intensive course, you should know how to ask for directions and, importantly, how to order a beer in two of our favourite travel destinations.

The teacher might even oblige if you ask her to teach you a few words in French, the language of love. It might score you a date, you never know!

EC4V 5AB. Classes start July 12 and 13 St Paul’s. See tntmagazine.com/school

» HA Holland Park

Teach kid s English around the world

LEARN A LANGUAGE

» St Paul’s YHA, Carter Lane,

Can you sink a stein?

High Street Kensington. 9am6pm on July 9-10. See tntmagazine.com/tefl

SPOTLIGHT ON

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

The Irish/French cabaret chanteuse regularly garners five-star reviews for her emotionally charged shows.

She tells us why the dark side is more fun

ENTERTAINMENT

Camille O’Sullivan INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER I’ve been to your show and it was an emotional rollercoaster. You don’t just sing the songs, you actually inhabit them. How do you do it?

You have to believe in the songs and you have to exist in them and if you don’t feel anything for the song then you have to throw it out. Melody is important but telling stories or becoming a character is important too. I used to be embarrassed by the emotional side but then I thought: “Jeez I’m getting old, that’s just the way it goes.” Sometimes I look at a singer who stays still on a chair and plays a guitar and think: “I wish I was like that.” I feel a slight embarrassment about being so eccentric and full-on.

Really, why?

I used to get embarrassed about the darkness of the songs and sprawling on the floor. Now there’s woofing and talking suitcases and all sorts in the show. And I just thought: “I’ve got an eccentricity – I’ve got to explore it.”

c) Joanne Murphy

You like to get close to the audience members. Do any object when you sit in their laps?

There’s two things that divide people. I miaow a lot on stage and I sit on people’s knees.

And it’s made me very unsure if I should step into an audience.

It all depends on whether you think people look up-for-it. If they look anxious, I don’t go near them. A lot of the time I’m very nervous during the first two songs, so it helps me overcome my nerves. It’s not a sexually charged thing, it’s more of a childlike thing of making a connection.

You’re heavily influenced by German cabaret. How do German audiences respond to you?

We’ve been doing gigs in Germany and a lot of the Germans were like [puts on German accent]: “We saw the poster and you looked really cool and enigmatic and we thought you would be distant, but you are not distant – you are crazy!” They like that you can be a klutz, a bit of a gypsy.

Your setlist includes dark, dark songs by the likes of Kurt Weill and Jacques Brel – what’s the attraction?

There’ a truthfulness, unsentimentality and even anger in both of their work. Like Brel’s Next – sometimes I don’t want to sing it but that’s exactly the kind of number you should put in a set. It’s about war and the brutality of physical abuse and a lot of people don’t clap after that song. At first I was going: “Jesus, am I doing

something wrong here?” But then people told me that it’s just the shock of it.

When I speak to people after the show that’s usually the song that has stood out for them ... I get a lot of joy from melancholy and black humour, that’s just the Irish in me.

I’ve got an “ eccentricity. I’ve got to explore it ” How do you view yourself within the world of burlesque?

I don’t see myself as a burlesque artist.

I think what I do is a mixture of music and theatre with a nod to German cabaret. I just think of myself as this eccentric entertainer with leanings towards being a rock performer. Burlesque is in the cabaret world but it’s striptease.

If I had the confidence to take everything off I might, but I actually might start wearing dungarees to stop frightening people.

You always have a glass of wine in your hand onstage. You must get through a whole bottle!

I used to go through a whole bottle which was not good. By the end of the show I was having the time of my life. It was purely for nervousness but recently I did the Rape Of Lucrece for the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford and I had to perform for eight minutes onstage by myself and I really wanted a drink – God I wanted a drink! But I couldn’t have one because I had to know exactly what was going on.

» Feis Festival, alongside Bob Dylan, Van Morrison, Thin Lizzy, The Cranberries, Finsbury Park, N4 (londonfeis.com) Finsbury Park. Jun 18-19. Weekend tickets £120, day tickets from £60. tntmagazine.com

23

PSYCHOVILLE

For his new book, Jon Ronson took a journey through the madness industry and discovered, disturbingly, that psychopaths are everywhere WORDS ALISON GRINTER

W

ho better to investigate the shadowy world of insanity than Jon Ronson, a journalist who rubbed shoulders with extremists for his first book Them and whose follow-up, The Men Who Stare At Goats, was turned into a movie starring George Clooney? But even Ronson got more than he bargained for in his latest funny-yet-shocking offering The Psychopath Test when he discovered that …

PSYCHOPATHS ARE ALL AROUND US Since publishing the book Ronson has been getting “10 emails a day” from people who believe their bosses or partners are psychopaths.

“On one hand I’ve got some really heartbreaking emails from people whose family members were murder victims saying, ‘I always wondered why this man behaved this way and now I know’.”

Then there are the psychopaths we encounter every day: “[I’ve had emails from] people who work for the Metropolitan Police … who believe the police service is psychopathic.

“The idea being if you have psychopathic boss they can remould the entire structure of the organisation to be more psychopathic. I think there’s some truth to that, I really do.”

The reason society is a bit messed up, Ronson argues, is because psychopaths are everywhere, even in our boardrooms, pulling the levers of big business.

He cites the case of Sunbeam CEO

Jon Ronson: not a psychopath

Getty Images, Saeed Adyani

HOW TO SPOT A PSYCHO In the 1970s Canadian psychologist Bob Hare discovered that psychopaths were different from other people. Their amygdala (the part of the brain that controls emotional response) was lacking.

When psychopaths see grotesque images he discovered, they’re not horrified like regular people, but absorbed. It also meant psychopaths were more likely to reoffend.

Hare went on to devise the PCL-R Checklist, aimed to provide a definitive diagnosis of psychopaths (lack of empathy and pathological lying are some of the indicators on the checklist, see breakout).

Clearly ticking a lot of boxes on Hare’s checklist is Emmanuel ‘Toto’ Constant, founder of FRAPH, a Haitian death squad in the 90s. Now languishing in a US Jail he’s easily the creepiest person profiled in Ronson’s book.

Chillingly he tells Ronson: “If people like you, you can manipulate them to do whatever you want them to do.”

“He strikes me as a textbook psychopath. Completely unambiguous,” says Ronson. “I’m expecting to get a nasty letter from him about the book.”

CAN THE POWER TO IDENTIFY PSYCOHPATHS BE MISUSED? Oh yes, says Ronson. Apparently rightwing Fox News commentator Sean Hannity, “has been using my book to diagnose President Obama as a psychopath!” Ronson says, outraged.

“It just goes to show you can misuse these powers. You’ve got entire gamut of what’s good and what’s bad about the power to identify psychopaths.”

Ronson himself admits that he misused the test and started “seeing everyone as a psychopath” including his journalistic nemesis AA Gill and the aforementioned US executive Al Dunlap. In his book Ronson is desperate to stuff Dunlap into the psychopath pigeonhole “completely ignoring the things that didn’t make him

George Clooney in Men Who Stare At Goats

ENTERTAINMENT

Al Dunlap, responsible for the brutal downsizing of the company, as indicative of corporate psychopathy. “The way the share price kept shooting up, the more ruthlessly and remorselessly Dunlap behaved was so telling. It’s a telling indictment of capitalism – how it can reward psychopathy.”

25

psychopathic,” he says. Then there’s the fascinating case of “Tony” who “faked” his way into Broadmoor after being convicted for GBH, thinking a secure unit would be a cushy option. It wasn’t. He ended up serving many more years than he would have in a normal prison because he couldn’t convince staff he was sane. The danger is locking people up for the offences they may commit in the future, Ronson says.

“If you go down that road you end up in a George Orwell nightmare of locking people away because of the thoughts they have. It’s happening in America: paedophile prisons – because of the idea they may reoffend.”

IF YOU’RE WORRIED YOU MIGHT BE A PSYCHOPATH THEN YOU PROBABLY AREN’T ONE If you’ve been reading this worrying you might be a psychopath, don’t worry – it means your amygdala has gone into overdrive, ie your brain is fine.

“I wrote about my own anxieties in a very unashamed way,” Ronson says.

“One of the messages in this book is that being an anxious person makes you a better person, than if you have no anxiety, because anxiety keeps us from transgressing and keeps us from being immoral, keeps you being human – although I don’t think that when I’m having an anxiety attack.”

SO WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU FIND YOURSELF WORKING FOR OR MARRIED TO A PSYCHO? “I’ve thought about this,” Ronson says.

“The best answer is to just be really wary and be equipped with the knowledge and don’t let them get inside your head … your life could be made a misery, they could manipulate you, just don’t allow that to happen. Just realise that they see themselves as predators and you as their prey. Don’t let them get to you.”

» Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test is out now through Pan Macmillan.

ARE YOU A PSYCHOPATH? Bob Hare’s 20-point PCL-R checklist is used to assess psychopathic behaviour.

Here’s ten of the points, in no particular order. Do any of them describe your behaviour? All of them?! If so, you might be a danger to society!

■ Grandiose sense of self worth ■ Cunnning/manipulative ■ Lack of remorse or guilt ■ Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom ■ Parasitic lifestyle ■ Promiscuous sexual behaviour ■ Pathological lying ■ Irresponsibilty ■ Lack of realistic longterm goals ■ Early behaviour problems » See tntmagazine.com for the full list

CINEMA The Beaver

Since his public outbursts Mel found it difficult to make new friends

Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin

ENTERTAINMENT

STARRING:

26

CERT: 12A RT 91 MINS

★★★★★

In the wake of his ugly meltdown, Mel Gibson needs a flat-out fantastic film to properly resurrect his career.

The Beaver isn’t that movie, although it does remind us of the actor’s ability to put in memorable performances.

Gibson stars as Walter Black, the CEO of a toy company whose life is being destroyed by depression.

After he is kicked out of his house by his wife (Foster), he finds himself on the balcony at a hotel ready to jump and end it all.

Salvation arrives in the form of a beaver handpuppet Black finds in a dumpster.

By speaking through the furry toy, he starts to put his life back together and tries to reconcile with his son (Yelchin).

Ambitious but about as subtle as an abusive

SCREEN TEST: MEL GIBSON 1 Where was Mel Gibson born?

2 Which 1981 Peter Weir directed film won Gibson Best Actor at the AFI Awards?

3 Which film was Gibson’s first hit in America?

4 What was that film called on its release in America?

5 Name Gibson’s character in the Lethal Weapon series

WIN phonecall, Foster’s darkly comical family drama is little more than a cinematic oddity.

The Beaver is certainly a novel way to look at how a family can heal itself but it is hamstrung by an uneven tone and some heavy-handed symbolism.

Gibson gets the most out of the material, though, and, in what is a case of art imitating life, is utterly convincing as man at the end of his tether.

GOOD FOR: Those who want to give Mel a second chance PIERRE DE VILLIERS

To win a copy of 127 Hours directed by Danny Boyle and starring James Franco, out on out on DVD on Jun 13 email grabs@ tntmagazine.com by Wed Jun 15 with “127 Hours” in the subject line LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Paul Schrader and Matin Scorsese 2 Robert De Niro 3 Prostitute 4 13 5 New York LAST WEEK’S WINNER Mark Taylor

THE REEL DEAL A new documentary seeks to restore the reputation of Australia’s much-maligned cane toad.

In Cane Toads: The Conquest, director Mark Lewis argues the damage caused by the ugly, toxic beasts has been much overstated and is disproportionate to the hatred directed by various governments over the years.

The cane toad was introduced into Australia from South America in 1935 to prey on the cropeating greyback beetle.

Disastrously the toads bred like rabbits instead.

CERT: 12A RT 95 MINS

★★★★★

Documentary-maker Kevin MacDonald does a fantastic job shaping 80,000 video diaries from people across the world all shot on one day in 2010 into a film that shows us life in all its glory and brutality.

Africa is sadly underrepresented but it’s a small detraction from what is a fascinating doco.

GOOD FOR: Sparking a debate at a pub afterwards PDV

THE ROUND UP CERT: TBC RT 115 MINS

★★★★★

A lack of character development spoils this historic drama that covers one of the murkiest periods in French history when thousands of Jews were removed from their homes in Paris during WWII. Director Rose Bosch should have made much better use of a cast that includes Jean Reno and Melanie Laurent.

GOOD FOR: An emotional history lesson PDV

Getty Images, Ken Regan/ 2009 Summit Entertainment LLC

Packed to the Rafters star Ryan Corr (below) will jet off to Hollywood soon to test the acting waters after winning this year’s Australians In Film Heath Ledger scholarship.

The actor, 22, was announced the winner at the star-studded annual Breakthrough Awards ceremony in Beverly Hills last Tuesday where three of Australia’s other top talents were also honoured.

Animal Kingdom director David Michod and actors Joel Edgerton and Teresa Palmer also received Breakthrough Awards.

LIFE IN A DAY

CULTURE ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS Richard Bean’s gag-filled script gives little indication that this rollicking new comedy is actually an updating of Italian playwright Goldoni’s mid18th century commedia dell’artee work.

The action is transposed to seaside Brighton in 1963, where, unbeknownst to each other, both public school toff Stanley (hilarious Oliver Chris) and his girlfriend (cross-dressed as her gangster twin brother whom he’s just killed) are holed up in the Cricketers’ Arms.

With a skiffle group, a

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre buxom bookkeeper, a posturing would-be thespian and Tom Edden’s doddery waiter (he’s 87 and it’s his first day at work) thrown into the mix of farce and slapstick, Nicholas Hytner’s production whizzes along.

And at the heart of it, James Corden’s increasingly flustered, food-fixated Francis juggles two masters, his ravenous appetite – and a delighted audience – to absolute perfection.

LOUISE KINGSLEY

27

» Lyttelton at the National, South Bank, SE1 9PX Waterloo (nationaltheatre. org.uk) Until Sep 19. £12-£45 James Corden as Francis Henshall

WORTH A LOOK The final season of The Bridge Project starring Kevin Spacey in the title role of Richard III » Old Vic Theatre, 103 The Cut, South Bank, SE1 8NB

•Arthur Darvill, best known for his role as Rory in Doctor Who stars

Waterloo (oldvictheatre.com) Jun 18-Sep 11. £TBC

in Doctor Faustus » Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, 21 New Globe Walk, SE1

Mansion House (shakespearesglobe.com) Jun 18-Oct 2. £5-£37.50

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK

WATCH ME MOVE: THE ANIMATION SHOW

LAST MAN IN TOWER

THE MIDWIFE’S CONFESSION

Aravind Adiga

Diane Chamberlain

In 1911, American cartoonist and animator, Winsor McCay prefaced his short film Little Nemo with the invitation to ‘Watch Me Move’, introducing a cast of colourful characters.

A century later, animation is one of the most popular and prevalent of visual art forms.

This exhibition traces the history of animation over the

last 150 years, bringing together contemporary artists, cut-out, collage, puppet, clay and stop-motion animators as well as auteur filmmakers.

It will also feature output from all the masters of the form including Walt Disney, Hanna-Barbera, Aardman, Pixar and more.

» Barbican Art Gallery, Silk St, EC2 8DS (barbican.org.uk) Barbican. Jun 15-Sep 11. £10.

Ralph Bakshi’s Heavy Traffic

(Atlantic) JUN 16

Second book from Booker Prize winner (with White Tiger) about real estate developer Dharmen Shah who offers to buy out the residents of Vishram Society, only no one wants to leave.

(MIRA) JUN 17

RACING THROUGH THE DARK: THE FALL AND RISE OF DAVID MILLAR

HOW TO BE A WOMAN Caitlin Moran (Ebury) JUN 16

The Maltese cyclist relives his fall from grace from Tour de France champion to his arrest for doping. A frank and reflective account.

Journalist Moran provides a new approach to feminism. There’s never been a better time to be a woman, with the vote and the pill etc, but why are we supposed to get Brazilians?

MORE EXHIBITIONS

Toulouse-Lautrec And Jane Avril:

David Millar (Orion) JUN 16

Johan Persson; courtesy of Ralph Bakshi,

From the author of The Lost Daughter and The Lies We Told comes the story of a midwife who has inexplicably committed suicide. A letter contains her terrible secret.

Beyond The Moulin Rouge » Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA

• Imagined

Temple (somersethouse.org.uk). Jun 16-Sep 18. £6.

Cities: Comic Anthology » London Print Studio, 425 Harrow Road, W10 4RE

Westbourne Park. (londonprintstudio.org.uk) Jun 17-25. Free

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC

MUSIC & CLUBS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Arcade Fire, The Vaccines Hyde Park, June 30 (0870 264 3333). £48.

Jimmy Barnes Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Jul 2 (08444 77 2000). £27.

Bon Jovi Hard Rock Calling, Hyde Park, Jun 25 (hardrockcalling.co.uk). £66.

PAUL SIMON So Beautiful or So What (Decca)

28

FAST FORWARD

★★★★★

Eleven albums and 50-plus years into his career, Paul Simon has still got it. One wouldn’t have been surprised if the Afro-beat shtick he first hit upon with his 1986 album Graceland might have begun to sound dated, especially given its appropriation by hip young things Vampire Weekend since then. But So Beautiful

The cross-over to crime fighting was complete with the unveiling of the Bat-Signal

Or So What sounds as timely and box-fresh as anything Dizzee Rascal, for example, is putting out. Combining vivid storytelling (referencing global terrorism, poverty and mortality) along with sublimely

uplifting melodies and a compendium of world music inspired rhythms and instrumentation, So Beautiful Or So What adds up to Simon’s best album in years.

ALISON GRINTER

NEIL YOUNG

TAKE THAT

SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR

Treasure (Warner) The 12-track live album includes songs recorded during Young’s 1984 and 1985 US tours.

Progressed (Polydor) A rejig of 2010’s Progress, with new songs including Love, Love from X-Men: First Class soundtrack.

Make A Scene (EBGBs) Nineties dance popstress of Murder On The Dancefloor fame returns with her fourth LP.

ALSO OUT

MUSIC NEWS

Tyler The Creator, frontman of Odd Future

US hip hop artist Tyler The Creator has accused Aussies of being racist.

The frontman for rap act Odd Future tweeted the claims, saying: “I’m

CHARTS

uncomfortable and want to go home. I get this weird vibe,” he wrote last week.

“I’m in Brisbane Right Now….

They hate Niggas Out Here.”

After sparking a social network storm, the singer later clarified his comment, writing on Twitter, “I Love Australia, Sydney And Melbourne Was Sick, But ... The Couple People Ive Come In Contact With In Brisbane Are Dicks.”

November to celebrate the 25th anniversary of his multiplatinum selling 1986 album Whispering Jack.

It’s not the first time Farnsey has come out of retirement since he bade farewell to touring in 2002 with his The Last Time tour. In 2009 he said he was “tired of being retired” before staging his “Farnham: Live By Demand” tour.

Iconic Oz crooner John Farnham has come out of retirement – again!

Farnham, 61, is believed to be planning an Aussie tour in

Farnsey

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

UK

No 1 single Party Rock Anthem, LMFAO No 1 album Born This Way, Lady Gaga

No 1 single Party Rock Anthem, LMFAO No 1 album 21, Adele

No 1 single The Lazy Song, Bruno Mars No 1 album 21, Adele

No 1 single Give Me Everything, Pitbull No 1 album Born This Way, Lady Gaga

tntmagazine.com

Ke$ha Hammersmith Apollo, Jul 13 (0844 844 4748). £25.

Metronomy Royal Albert Hall, Oct 3 (020 7589 8212). £25.

Pulp Wireless Festival, Hyde Park, Jul 3 (0871 230 1094). £50.

The Specials Brixton Academy, Oct 31 (08444 77 2000).£35.

Public Enemy Forum, Sep 8 (0844 844 0444). £25.

Paul Simon Hammersmith Apollo, June 28 (0844 844 4748). £30.

Suicidal Tendencies Electric Ballroom, Aug 15 (0870 264 3333). £17.50.

Tame Impala Roundhouse, Jun 22 (0844 482 8008). £15.

Dweezil Zappa plays Zappa Barbican, Nov 29.

(020 7638 8891). £29.50.

Wilco Roundhouse, Oct 28-29.

(0844 482 8008). £32.

Wild Beasts Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Nov 23(08444 77 2000). £17.

Getty Images

AUSTRALIA

John Butler Trio Shepherds Bush Empire, Jul 6 (0844 477 2000). £20.

Bootsy Collins IndigO2, July 11 (0870 264 3333). £32.50.

CSS XOYO, Aug 23 (xoyo.co.uk) £15.

Death From Above 1979 Brixton Academy, Oct 7 (08444 77 2000). £21.50 Liam Finn XOYO, July 20 (xoyo.co.uk) £15.75.

Josh Groban Hammersmith Apollo, Oct 11 (0844 844 4748). £40.

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Learn The Lingo courses, part of TNT’s Language School, are ideal for beginners or those who’d like to brush up on the basics

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MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK THE PIERCES Like the Kings Of Leon before them, The Pierce sisters have one of those compelling family narratives which makes you sit up and listen. Born in Birmingham, Alabama, to itinerant artistic hippie parents they were home-schooled and encouraged to perform at family gatherings. Oh, they were also dragged up listening to Joni Mitchell and Simon & Garfunkel, so it’s little wonder that Catherine and Alison Pierce ply the kind of folked-up rock that would make Stevie Nicks weep for joy. Their new LP You And I is racing up the UK charts so make sure you catch them in town this week.

31

» Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Road, London, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955)

Shepherd’s Bush. Jun 15-16. £12

The Pierces

THE HORRORS

THE RAVEONETTES

Their latest single Still Life has already featured on Zane Lowe’s Hottest Record In The World segment on Radio 1, which bodes particularly well for the Southend quintet’s upcoming self-produced third album Skying. It will no doubt get an airing tonight along with their early goth-tinged punk rock oeuvre.

They may have slipped off the radar in recent years but Danish indie rock duo The Raveonettes are still influencing the likes of hipster newbies The Drums and the Dum Dum Girls. They return to plug new LP Raven In The Grave with support from East London Art rockers SCUM and avant garde all-gal Danish trio Giana Factory.

» York Hall, 5-15 Old Ford Road

» Islington Academy, N1 Centre, 16 Parkfield St, N1 0PS

Bethnal Green, E2 9PJ

(0870 264 3333) Fri, Jun 17. £15.50

NEW BAND ALERT

Angel (0844 477 2000). Mon, Jun 13.£12.50

FESTIVAL WATCH Coming up in June Eden Sessions

Primal Scream, The Horrors, Pendulum, The Flaming Lips, Cornwall, (edenproject.com/ sessions). Jun 23-Jul 1. £37.50 per session.

Hard Rock Calling

Hands up who ate a spicy curry last night

WU LYF

Getty Images

THE BUZZ SO FAR You’d expect some anarchic shenanigans from

a band named World Unite Lucifer Youth Foundation (WU LYF for short) and – guess what – you wouldn’t be disappointed!

Having garnered huge label interest in their self-styled “Heavy Pop” last year, WU LYF turned down all record deal offers and decided to go it alone, paying for the recording of their debut album with money from a publishing deal and then teaming up with distributors around the world to get their music into shops.

THE PLUG Debut album Go Tell Fire To The Mountain out Jun 13 on LYF Recordings.

Sonar

Underworld, M.I.A., Aphex Twin, Magnetic Man, Die Antwoord, The Human League, Dizzee Rascal.

Barcelona, Spain, (sonar.es). Jun 16-18. W/e tickets £140.

Bon Jovi, Rod Stewart, Stevie Nix, Rumer, Mike + The Mechanics, Barenaked Ladies, Adam Ant & The Good The Mad And The Lovely Posse.

Truck Festival

Hyde Park, London (hardrockcalling.co.uk).

Jun 24-26. £66 for day ticket.

Hill Farm, Steventon, Oxfordshire (thisistruck.com).

Jun 22-24. W/e £99.

Inmusic Festival

Winterwell Norman Jay, The Nextmen, Man Like Me, The Milk, Ellen And The Escapades, The Jinks.

Secret location near Cirencester (winterwell.co.uk).

Jun 17-19. W/e tickets £100.

Jamiroquai, Arcade Fire, Cypress Hill, Grinderman, The Streets, Mastodon.

Lake Jarun, Zagreb, Jun 21-22 (t-mobileinmusicfestival.com).

W/e tickets £84.

Gruff Rhys, Bellowhead, Graham Coxon, Saint Etienne, John Grant, Truck All-Stars, Philip Selway, Edwyn Collins.

tntmagazine.com

MUSIC LISTINGS The Cat Empire

MUSIC & CLUBS

MONDAY 13

The Undertones The five-piece from Derry performs pop punkrock. Power’s, Kilburn High Rd,

The Blue Aeroplanes

and electronica from the artist. The Scala, Pentonville

NW6 2QN (020 7372 4598). £15.

The Bristol-based eightpiece plays indie-rock. The

Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £10.

Toyah Willcox Pop-rock

Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £15.

Tom Vek The London-based

from the singer and actress.

Digitalism, Housse De Racket The Hamburg-based

singer and musician performs a blend of electronic beats and indie-rock, in support of his album Leisure Seizure. Heaven,

duo plays electronic house and dance-punk. XOYO, Cowper

Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £15.

St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £15.

FRIDAY 17

Marcus Foster Indie-folk by the London-based singer-songwriter. The Barfly,

Brian Charles, The Capers, Cremyll Road, Post-Fiction

Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £7.50.

32

Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs Melodic dance

Indie-pop singer-songwriter based in London. Hope

Hot Club Of Boisdale Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

LMFAO, Far East Movement Electronic hip-hop from the American two-piece. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £12.50.

Matthew Morrison The actor-musician and star of the television series Glee, performs songs from his selftitled album, and a selection of tunes from the show. HMV

And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £5.

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

THE CAT EMPIRE Shepherd’s Bush Empire, W11 8QE Shepherd’s Bush, Thur, Oct 20 & Brixton Academy SW9 9SL Brixton, Fri, Oct 21 (0844 477 2000). £TBC. Has it really been 10 years since Melbourne’s Latin party band played their first gig? It is, and to celebrate they’ll be playing two London gigs.

Rd, E2 9PJ (020 8980 2243). £15.50.

Gjermund Larson Trio The

Easy Star All-Stars The country by the London-based singer-songwriter. The Slaughtered

TUESDAY 14

Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £12, adv £10.

Sophie Ellis Bextor The

Mary Hampton Contemporary

London-based songstress performs dance-driven pop.

folk from the Brightonbased singer-songwriter.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £19.50.

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/ cc 0844 875 0073). £12, concs £6.

Converge, 33 Hardcore punk from the American outfit. O2 Academy Islington,

Pokey LaFarge And The South City Three Country and

Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.50.

blues from the St Louis-based guitarist and singer-songwriter.

Incubus Brandon Boyd leads

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £28.50.

Meltdown 2011: Nick Lowe Pop-rock by the veteran singer-songwriter. Southbank

Lil Band O Gold Swamp-

Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £25-£35, concs £12.50-£17.50.

flavoured Americana and rock by the band from Louisiana. O2

Molotov Pop and rap-rock

Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

Meltdown 2011: Alan Price Set Soulful pop-rock from the former member of The Animals and his backing group. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £17.50 & £20, concs £8.75 & £10.

Plain White T’s The Chicago-

W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15.

by the Mexican band. The Clapham Grand, St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT (020 7223 6523). £20.

The Pierces The New Yorkbased duo plays rock with folk influences. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £12.

Damo Suzuki, Mandog The Japanese singer-songwriter and musician performs psychedelic punk. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £8, adv £7.

Tim & Jean, Caan Electro-pop by the Australian duo. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £6.

New York-based collective plays dub and reggae in support of its album First Light.

Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £17.50.

Godflesh, Goatsnake Experimental and industrial metal from the Birmingham-based band. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £17.50.

Harlem Gospel Choir The American choral group performs uplifting and epic gospel.

from the Polish four-piece.

tntmagazine.com

N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £9.50.

Late At The Library: Out Of This World Theremin-led electronica from Bruce Woolley’s Radio Science Orchestra featuring live narration by Ken Hollings, plus Global Communication, DJs Rob Da Bank and Jon Hopkins.

O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £27.50.

Meltdown 2011: The Sonics The American outfit plays energised, primal garage-rock. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £20-£30, concs £10-£15.

Nils Lofgren Acoustic Duo The E Street Band guitarist and former Neil Young collaborator performs with multiinstrumentalist Greg Varlotta.

Cadogan Hall, Sloane Terrace, SW1X 9DQ (020 7730 4500). £32.50.

The British Library, Euston Rd, NW1 2DB (0843 208 1144). £12.

Soothsayers The collective plays Afrobeat and reggae.

Meltdown 2011: Madness

The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £15.

The veteran ska outfit plays songs from its album The Liberty Of Norton Folgate.

Broadway Theatre, Rushey Green, SE6 4RU (020 8690 0002). £20.

Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £25-£40, concs £12.50-£20.

Kaiser Chiefs The Leeds-

The Rdholders, ED Tudorpole

based five-piece performs its playful indie-rock hits. Electric

Glam punk from the four-piece.

Symarip Reggae by the Londonbased outfit. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £20.

Bobby Wellins Scottish tenor saxophonist. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12.

Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £22.50.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

SUNDAY 19 3 Doors Down The American

Little Harlem Swing and R‘n’B

Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and

rock five-piece performs songs Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £22.50.

from the London-based band.

soul from the seven-piece.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

Meltdown 2011: Ron Sexsmith The Canadian singer-

Silhouette Showgirls, Ronda, Gulls The Bristol-based band

winning musical theatre composer Bruce launches his debut album, Unwritten Songs, i The Pheasantry, Kings Rd,

plays progressive indie-rock.

SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £20.

songwriter performs folk-rock in support of his album Long Player Late Bloomer. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £17.50-£25, concs £8.75-£12.50.

Neal Morse Dramatic progressive rock from the American multi-instrumentalist, singer-songwriter and Spock’s Beard co-founder.

Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £22.50.

Vader, Krisiun Death metal The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £16.

fiddler and composer leads his folk outfit. Kings Place, York Way,

Fat Freddy’s Drop Reggae and dub from the New Zealand-based seven-piece.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £8, concs £6.

Michael Bruce The award-

Ash Grunwald Rootsy blues and blues-rock by the Australian singer-guitarist.

Amon Tobin Experimental electronica from the Brazilian musician, producer and DJ.

Favela Chic, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228). £10.

Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £25.50.

Meltdown 2011: Ray Davies And London Philharmonic Orchestra With Crouch End Festival Chorus The

TNT online For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

veteran pop-rock singersongwriter and Kinks frontman performs with the orchestra and ensemble. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £50-£60, concs £25-£30.

Matthew Jensen

based five-piece, made famous for its single Hey There Delilah, plays acoustic pop-rock. 100 Club, Oxford St,

Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.

duo performs indie-rock.

Charlie Dore Folk-pop and

Innovative funk from the American trailblazer and his ensemble. HMV Forum, Highgate

Rdhouse, The Piazza, Covent Garden Market, WC2E 8HB (020 7379 6132). £12, £5 before 9pm.

Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £15.

Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £12.50.

George Clinton And Parliament Funkadelic

Half Man Half Biscuit Veteran post-punk outfit. O2 Shepherd’s

Amplifier The Manchester-

THURSDAY 16

Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £13.

Electric Mayhem The outfit plays indie-rock. The

his band in playing synth-infused gothic rock. York Hall, Old Ford

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.30.

electronica by the Seattle-based combo. O2 Academy Islington,

Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £10-£40.

The Horrors Faris Badwan leads

The Raveonettes The Danish duo plays indie-rock and alt pop. O2 Academy Islington,

Assemblage 23, Tenek, Obscenity Trial Industrial

Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £32.50.

We Are Scientists, Tall Ships The New York-based

based three-piece plays alternative rock in support of its album The Octopus.

SATURDAY 18

Classic blues from the Londonbased guitarist and singer.

WEDNESDAY 15

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £30-£45.

his Los Angeles-based band in playing epic alternative rock in support of the album If Not Now, When? HMV Forum, Highgate Rd,

Otis Grand Blues Band

Leicester Square Theatre, Leicester Place, WC2H 7BX (0844 873 3433). £20-£25.

£10 TICKET INCLUDES: FREE BEER (STEIN) DRINK SPECIALS

PRETZEL GERMAN DJ OOMPAH BAND GREAT PRIZES AND THE BAVARIAN DRINKING OLYMPICS WITH HEAPS OF FREE BEER!!

Pre-book tickets now: tntmagazine.com/junefest

CLUB LISTINGS TNT’S TOP BOOKING

MONDAY 13

MUSIC & CLUBS

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario

34

plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!,

CREAMFIELDS Daresbury, Cheshire (creamfields.com) Aug 26-28. From £65 Oh Creamfields, how we love thee? Your endless roll call of sublime DJs just makes us want to cry with happiness. Three days of tunes with Steve Angello, Tiësto, Paul van Dyk, Chemical Brothers and more.

Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, R‘n’B and funky house.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Kut DJs and bands play indie music. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. £5, free before 9pm, £3 before 11pm.

Monday Midnight Mass Nicos

Steve Angello

and Shane spin indie and rock.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). 11pm-3am. £3.

Rehab DJs Haley, Dan and The Demonettes play indie, pop and electro. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, mems £1 before 10.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028).

7pm-late. £7, concs £4.

Verve Couture DJ Sonathaq plays blues, funk and swing, plus live cabaret with Zak Black. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, mems free.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Everything Taboo DJ Andrew Elmore plays retro electro-pop and acid disco.

Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113).

10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

and Karen play dubstep.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm3am. £5, free before midnight.

spin house and techno, plus live swing-hop from The Correspondents, and hip-hop from Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Guanabara Samba School Samba, Afrobeat,

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). 7pm-1am. £8 & £10.

Fabriclive Jehst, Extended

pop, house and nu disco, plus Capoeira masterclasses, break dancers, Brazilian street food and cocktail making. Guanabara, Parker

Gaz’s Rockin’ Blues DJ Gaz Mayall spins ska, rock ‘n’ roll and R‘n’B, plus a live performance from Rude Boy Rascal. St Moritz,

St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

Wardour St, W1F 8WL (020 7437 0525).

10pm-3.30am. £9, NUS £8, £7 before 11.30pm, NUS £6 before 11.30pm.

and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The

The Mink Revue Resident DJs

Rachel Harvey, DJ Masa and Niroshan play house and electro. Pacha, Terminus

Play Giom, Phil Asher, Deporto

Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 9pm2am. £3, mems £2 before 10pm.

Showtime Live bashment and

QueerlyOut DJ Robby D

and Finale play house, electro, techno and drum ‘n’ bass. Egg,

dancehall stageshow from acts including Wiley, General Levy, Stush, Glamma Kid, Skibadee, Asher Senator, Mr Williamz, YT, Riko Dan, Lady Leshurr, Stylo G, Serocee, Rubi Dan and Lady Chann. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A

spins commercial dance, pop and R‘n’B. Escape Soho,

York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

10pm-7am. £15, adv £13.

3AY (020 7739 3440). 7pm-1am. £15.

Latino Sound DJ Kirisis and CLI play R‘n’B, hip-hop and dance.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty

Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-late. £5-£10.

O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10.30pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £4.

(020 7734 4004). 9pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, £3 before 11pm.

hip-hop, house and pop courtesy of Big John and Biggy C. Hidden, Tinworth St, SE11 5EQ

THURSDAY 16 Francis plays house and commercial dance classics.

Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Come Skank With Me

WEDNESDAY 15 Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3am. £6, NUS £5, w/ flyer £4.

tntmagazine.com

Your Mum’s House

Work! Old school funk,

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Marcus and Olly play indie, punk, techno and electro.

(020 7839 4188). 10pm-3am. £15, £8 before 10pm, free before 8pm, guestlist £10, free before 10pm.

Scally Dandan and Jamie D Winter spin electro and fidget house. Punk, Soho St, W1D 3DN

(020 7437 1977). 9pm-3am. £3.

White Heat DJs Matty,

dance and cheese with resident DJs. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ

St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3.

(020 7820 6613). 11pm-4am. £6.

Stupid Tuesday Funky and soulful house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR

Temptation Pop, R‘n’B,

Drum ‘n’ bass, dubstep, electro, dubstep and jungle from SDUK, Eargasm, DJ Konvict, DJ Crank, J-Man-Kan, Doc-Z, Nikiller, DJ Error and MCs Younga Fox, T-Bagz, Profit, Millie, Lakez and Z-Man. The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774).

10pm-3am. £7, adv £5.

The Loose Cannons The DJ duo of Kaiser Saucy and Lord Fader supply electro and house. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844).

8pm-2am. £10, free before 9pm, guestlist £7 before 11pm.

uplifting house from Jamie Tennant, Hemlock, Skol, Roosta, Matt Ashton and Flippie. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322).

11pm-7am. £12, £8 before midnight.

Tempo Enterno House, Lost In London Cesar Ruiz,

Lounge, Woodford New Rd, E17 3PR (020 8509 6450). 8.30pm-late. £8.

Brewer St, W1F 0SU (07833 327002).

9pm-3am. £5, mems £3.

The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £10, free before 11pm.

SW19 1SD (020 8540 0080).

11pm-3am. £8, £7 before midnight.

Scewpulous play techno and house. Eagle, Kennington

salsa, samba and Latin

Inferno Andrew Elmore spins funk, house and dance.

Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £16, NUS/mems £10, £7 after 3am.

Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

10pm-late. £15, adv £10.

tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-8am. £19, NUS/mems £10, £9 after 4am, £6 after 5am.

Saints & Sinners Daniel Scott plays club classics, while resident DJs play indie and pop in the bar. The Watershed, The Broadway,

play blues, R‘n’B, funk, swing and soul, plus live burlesque and cabaret performances. RS

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins

Fabric Craig Richards, Cassy, Nick Curley, Slam, Jerome Sydenham, Marcus Worgull and Nick Agha play electro, house and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse

Players, Stretch Armstrong, Alexander Nut, Spin Doctor, Elijah play dubstep, drum ‘n’ bass, house, electro and techno.

Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, NUS £3, w/flyer £4, mems £2.

Bootcamp Rob C and

The Victory, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AS (020 7502 2741). 9pm-3am. £6, £4 before 10pm, NUS £4.

Prime Time Party Hard Dirty 30 Sarah Holder

Fast Forward Filth & Splendour

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim

TUESDAY 14

Calentito Pop, R‘n’B, and soul. Salvador And Amanda,

Coast To Coast DJ Cello and Scotch Martin spin 1960s and early 1970s ska, soul, funk, Latin and reggae.

tech-house and progressive house from DJs Gareth Harding, Chloe Fontaine, Hemisphere DJs, Stu Cox, Samina and Andrew Boscher. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Roller Disco Old school roller disco with DJ Lousie playing disco, funk, soulful house, electro and breakbeat. Renaissance

We are Phonetic Allister Whitehead Lisa Loud, Rob Roar, Scott Cuba, Max Linen, Luke Sawyer, Jochen Simms, Andy Manston, Danny Clockwork, Tony Nicholls, Darren Bouthier and Jonnie Meyers play house, disco and electro. Pacha, Terminus

Rooms, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-2am. £12.50.

Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

11pm-6am. £20, adv £15.

Warm Ata and Gerd Janson spin house and techno. Plastic

SUNDAY 19

People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 10pm-4am. £10.

The Church The resident DJs

SATURDAY 18

spin modern and classic rock, plus live risque entertainment. The Clapham Grand, St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT (020 7223 6523). noon-4pm. £7.

All Night Long Special guest

FRIDAY 17 Afri-Kokoa AJ Kwame and

Quentin Harris is joined by Ashley Beadle, Stuart Patterson and Jimmy P to play house and disco. East Village, Great Eastern

Volta 45 spin Afrobeat, plus live Afro-dub music from sevenpiece band Soothsayers and poet Leeto Thale. Rich Mix, Bethnal

St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173).

9pm-3.30am. £12, £10 before midnight, £8 before 10pm, adv £7.

Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498).

8pm-1am. £10, concs £7.

Back To The Millennium

Basslaced Loefah & Boddika, Silkie & Quest, Hatcha and MC Inja play drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep.

Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £10.

Richie Fingers, Chewy, Mr Cook and Ford play soulful house. Babalou Bugbar, St Matthew’s Church, SW2 1JF (020 7738 7875). 10pm-6am, last entry 2.30am. £15, guestlist £12 before 1am, guestlist/w/ invite £10.

Destination Ibiza DJ Lady Lea, Tobie Allen & Tim Cullen, DJ Chen, DJ Opti, DJ Stace, Just Stu and DiskoJak & JK play dance, house, disco and electro.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SLAGS/Chill-Out Dance anthems and commercial house from Simon Le Vans, Andy Almighty and Sean Sirrs.

Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222).

2pm-midnight. £8, £5 after 7.30pm.

WetYourSelf Jordi Mas, Paulo Jardim, Cormac, Jacob Husley and Peter Pixzel play house, electro and techno.

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm6am. £10, adv £8, NUS £5.

CLUBBING

CLUB GUIDE

Mark Knight

MUSIC & CLUBS

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK TOOLROOM KNIGHTS The mighty Toolroom Knights lands at its spiritual home, Ministry of Sound, for another night of mayhem. The club night has gone from strength to strength in recent years with its founder, Mark Knight, dominating the underground house music scene and collaborating with some of dance music’s biggest names (er, only some guy called Tiësto). Knight himself headlines this one with D Ramirez in tow. Meanwhile ninja mixer, Jaguar Skills, launches his mix album on the Toolroom label at this knees-up.

35

» Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP

Elephant & Castle (0870 060 0010, ministryofsound.com). Sat, Jun 18, 11pm-6am. £15 adv.

SCANDALISM

SUPERNOVA

Having been busy collaborating with Steve Angello recently on the corker of a track, Open Your Eyes, Alex Metric sure knows how to keep good company. The Brit DJ is a name on the rise. This week he’s joined by a bunch of young-uns. Barely in their 20s, LA-based disco duo Classixx are ready to take the dance music world by storm.

Bringing with them bagfuls of ear-joy, Livio & Roby are a couple of Romanians on the famed Loco Dice’s Desolat label, who’ve got a gritty underground sound.

Their music is tinged with a deep house and techno that’s reminiscent of Detroit and Chicago, while their percussion-fuelled goodness will leave you unable to stand still.

» The Nest, 36 Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ Dalston Kingland (020 7354 9993, ilovethenest.com). Fri, Jun 17, 9pm-4am. £5 adv

» Egg, 200 York Way, N7 9AX King’s Cross (020 7871 7111, egglondon.net). Sat, Jun 18, 10pm-11am. £13 adv, £20

TNT Images

WIN

We have two pairs of VIP tickets to Toolroom Knights and three copies of Allure’s Kiss From The Past album to give away. To enter, email grabs@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Toolroom Knights’ or ‘Kiss From The Past’ in the subject line by noon, Wed, June 15.

CLUB NEWS Calling all designers, illustrators and rodent-lovers ... Deadmau5 is in need of a new mouse head and he’s looking to the public to design his next noggin.

Famed for wearing giant, mau5ey headwear while on stage, the Canadian DJ is inviting designers to submit their big mouse-headed blueprints for consideration.

The winning look will be produced for his Unhooked shows and the person behind it will also win two VIP passes to a Deadmau5 show in LA. Submissions close on July 12. Head to talenthouse.com.

Tiësto has released an album under his alter ego Allure and it’s back to reach-for-thelaser-style trance from the DJ.

In need of a new head

Kiss From The Past features 14 storming tracks that take you back to the Dutch DJ’s roots.

Everything you would expect from the genre – the clubby vocals, the uplifting melodies and the euphoric build-ups and breakdowns – are all there.

It’s out this week on New State Music.

2-4-1 ROLLER DISCO

NOW ONL Y £5

GO TO TNTMAGAZINE.COM/LBB tntmagazine.com

WORLD VIEW strange tales from around the globe Australia

SEX-RATED ‘FACEBOOK’ Anonymous websites on which users rate conquests’ sexual performances are spreading across Australia.

The ‘root-rating’ pages have sparked outrage, with warnings those behind them could face criminal prosecution.

Comments are usually made by male teens, mainly in the Queenland area, in which they rank previous and current partners.

Group members submit graphic comments about the encounter with a link to the person’s Facebook page.

Many of the sites have been taken down, but, unsurprisingly, they keep coming back.

“You can be prosecuted,” a Mackay police spokesman said. “Unfortunately people just don’t understand that once it’s out there in public it’s no longer private.”

You’ve been warned

TWEETS OF THE WEEK follow @tntmagazine @JmeBBK (Jamie Adenuga) Nicole Scherzinger and Arnold Schwarzenegger blatantly couldn’t spell their names until they were 17 @10akhil (Akhil Vyas) ESPN Classics showing ‘Ryan GiggsLegend’ now I’m not expert but that is really bad timing!! @nickdavy (Nick Davy) “You have mosquitoes. I have the Press,” Carribean tour, 1966. #princephilip

On your way: It’s a lonely life being a clown. No one takes you seriously – especially these cops in Sydney who kicked out the dressed-up Wilderness Society protester and his mates from the Officeworks stationery store. *Sad face*

Baa-bye Shrek

New Zealand

NEW HOME FOR SHREK

tntmagazine.com

United Kingdom

HOLE LOTTA LOVE The world’s most pierced woman has tied the knot. Elaine Davidson, who has nearly 7000 piercings over her body, married Douglas Watson at a low-key ceremony in Edinburgh.

Brazilian-born Davidson, 46, walked down the aisle in a white wedding gown, with just her face visible.

She married a conservative-looking Watson, who wore a simple navy suit and a Marks & Spencer tie.

And who says love is blind?

Elaine Davidson: Not just a pretty face

Getty Images

Museums are vying to display the remains of New Zealand’s most famous sheep – and a memorial in his honour has been postponed to accommodate global media interest.

‘Shrek’ hit the headlines in 2004, when he was found in a mountain cave six years after wandering off from his flock.

He was sporting a massive fleece that made

him appear three times his normal size.

The fleece was sheared for charity and weighed in at 27kg, which is around six times the wool gathered from the average merino.

News of Shrek’s death made front pages around the world.

Museums are now keen to put the sheep’s body on public display. The Otago Museum, near Shrek’s South Island farm, was keen to round up the merino.

“As an Otago icon, we believe he will be very comfortable with us,” a spokesman said.

New Zealand

Johnny really cocked up his school project

WEEK IN NUMBERS

GOOGLE SPIES PENIS PRANK

5750

Compensation, in pounds, awarded to a UK pupil who was splashed on the hand with custard by another kid

11

Age, in years, of Ross Wajgtknecht who demanded an apology from Domino’s in Bath for calling him a ‘Ginger Kid’

37

18 Whelan – who likes to row naked to avoid painful sores – had set off from the Abrolhos Islands, about 60km west of Geraldton, when he was hit by a large wave, causing him to strike his head.

He was rescued by a cargo ship after making a satellite call to a friend in the UK who contacted Australian authorities.

When asked if he will do anything differently next year, he joked: “I might wear a helmet to bed.”

æ

P41 View: Prince Philip P14 Secret Sundays

æ

Per cent of men in aged in their 50s who rate having regular sex more highly than those in their 30s

1.5

Million views of a hoax YouTube video of a woman having her 152 Facebook friends tattooed on her arms

74

Age, in years, of Ernestine Shepherd, of Baltimore, who won the world record as the oldest competitive female bodybuilder

United States

I’M GOD. NO, REALLY ...

Naked ambition: Keith Whelan

Australia

NUDE ROWER WAVES GOODBYE TO RECORD A naked adventurer rowing solo across the Indian Ocean has had to be rescued by a cargo ship off the West Australian coast after he was hit by a wave.

Keith Whelan, 29, was trying to become the youngest man and first Irishman to row solo across the Indian Ocean.

A father of five has applied for a patent to prove that he’s really god.

Chris Roller argues he should be the only person on the planet allowed to cash in on his position.

In his application, the 43-year-old former US Navy nuclear engineer wrote: “Chris Roller wants exclusive rights to the ethical use and financial gain in the use of godly powers on planet Earth.”

He claimed others with his powers have been making money. Surprisingly enough, his claim was rejected.

“Some may think of me as Jesus but others may consider me Buddha, Mohammed, God, Messiah, Savior, etc,” he says on his website.

We don’t think he’s the Messiah, though, just a very naughty boy.

Getty Images

And finally... DRASTIC TIMES...

In an attempt to avoid being arrested, suspect Aaron Vera Morales opted for the ultimate disguise – and turned himself in to a woman. The 33-yearold underwent plastic

surgery and assumed a female identity to hide from Federal prosecutors in Mexico. Despite the lengths, Morales was arrested anyway. That’ll learn him.

Man, I feel like a woman

NEWS & SPORT

A schoolkids’ prank – six giant penis-shaped symbols etched into grass – has been captured by an image on Google Earth.

The photo, which has potentially been seen by millions of web surfers around the world, was taken above Fairfield College, Waikato.

It shows two particularly large phallic shapes by the school car park.

David McQuoid was searching for a property when he came across the surprising snaps. “At first I thought it was a large piece of art work,” he said.

But acting principal Gerhard van Dyk was not amused and said he would like to have caught the culprits.

Unfortunately, the incident had happened on a weekend back in May 2009.

“There’s not really much we could really do about it,” he said. “The caretaker took some more weedkiller and tried to camouflage it.”

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

The movie was “good, so maybe next time I go to London I will ask her to wear that tight uniform

”

Shane Warne reckons he will ask Liz Hurley to dress up in her skimpy costume from the Austin Powers movies.

He’s all class

I

t would be the obvious thing to do to lay into Lembit Opik. He’s an easy target. Having dated a string of highprofile women, including a Cheeky Girl, and appeared on reality TV shows such as I’m A Celebrity ... before launching a standup career, to many, he’s a walking joke.

So the announcement he wants to succeed Boris Johnson as London mayor in 2012 has been met with raised eyebrows.

I meet Opik, 46, for a mint tea [he doesn’t drink coffee] near Victoria to find out whether he’s ready to go head-to-head with Johnson and Ken Livingstone.

Opik’s political career ended in 2010, when he lost his Montgomeryshire seat, where he’d been a Lib Dem MP for 13 years. “It’s hard to described the psychological and almost the physical impact of losing when all the signs were a different result,” he tells me.

So what went wrong? He wonders whether it was his “celebrity profile interfering with my political standing”. But adds: “The reality is I lost – and we didn’t see that coming.

And it was tough.”

Despite insisting he’s “shy”, Opik has been linked to a string of high-profile women.

He was engaged to weather girl Sian Lloyd whom he dated for four years. When she dumped him in 2007, she made allegations about his drinking and commitment which he found “dreadfully upsetting”.

He’s aware that he should have been more

Having a laugh? Opik at a stand-up gig

SHOULD LEMBIT OPIK BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY? He worked stand-up and dated a Cheeky Girl. Here, the former MP explains why he should become mayor of London WORDS CAROL DRIVER

NEWS & SPORT

Cheeky cheeky: Gabriela, left

Getty Images

litigious, saying: “If you’re not, people walk all over you.”

Then he met Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia in 2007. He admits when he first met her with her twin Monica “they both looked the same to me”.

After hitting it off, the couple were photographed together at every opportunity – usually when the then 24year-old was wearing skimpy outfits. So what attracted Opik to attractive Gabriela?

“There’s a simple answer: we liked each other and got on, and eventually I had the courage to ask her out,” he says.

The following year, Irimia broke off their engagement. “I’ve found out, according to a newspaper, apparently she said she lost my baby – and I found out by a newspaper, which was really upsetting.”

Our conversation is interrupted by a call on his mobile. It’s Merily McGivern, the 21-year-old blonde student he’s dating.

They have a brief chat – she’s driving his car – “nothing flash, a Volvo” – to shop at B&Q. Since appearing on Celebrity DIY, they’ve been bitten by the DIY bug.

Does the age gap matter? “As Merily said on the Alan Titchmarsh Show ... ‘in the words of Mark Twain, it’s mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter’.”

’THEY’RE FRIENDS OF MINE’ Since leaving parliament, Opik has appeared on numerous reality TV shows, from I’m A Celebrity... with Lindford Christie to Come Dine With Me with glamour girl Jodie Marsh.

You’d hardly catch the likes of Johnson or Livingstone on these. So how does he think the public views him?

“I tend to see the best in everybody, I assume they’ll see the best in me, but it doesn’t seem to be like that,” he says.

When I ask whether he is confident going up against the pair, he’s unfazed.

He calls them both “friends”, but adds: “They’ve been over-reliant on big business, because it’s easier and quicker to work with 100 big companies than 10,000

Boris Johnson

small ones. My agenda is more labour intensive, but it would be to give to to commission work from the small person and share the wealth of public services.”

What about his proposals to have the Underground running all night?

“I would have a referendum of London folk to see if they’d be willing to pay extra to have a 24-hour Tube, or as much as you could do it with the limitations of

It would be the “ most interesting election ever ” maintenance schedules,” he says.

Opik tells me he will launch his official policies “very shortly” – he finds out whether or not he has been selected as the Lib Dem’s mayoral candidate in August.

But he adds: “In essence, my philosophy is to give the small person a big chance in business and in life.”

He admits that he feels he’s not giving me specific enough answers, so I quiz him about crime levels in the capital, drawing reference to an article in TNT last week about the rising number of teen gangs.

“In terms of regeneration the fabric of our society, there isn’t a quick fix. I don’t have much faith in the phrase ‘Big Society’ … but I have faith in small society … giving kids a chance to do something good.”

He praises Johnson over the handling of the Olympics. And of the ticket ballot saga, he calls the system “the least worst option” adding: “Specifically to Boris, who said he didn’t get any tickets, when I’m mayor, I’ll make sure he can sit with Ken.” We move on to the subject of Tube strikes. If he was mayor, he says he wouldn’t let it get to that stage, but he wouldn’t take away those rights.

His views on the congestion zone and reducing numbers on the Tube overlap –

Ken Livingstone

39

encouraging more people to work from home – at least two days a week.

’GOOD AT MAYOR’ So with his colourful career merged with a long political standing, what sort of mayor will Opik be to the people of London? “I think I would be good at mayor because of all my experiences.”

When I ask him to elaborate, Opik’s eyes well up with tears as he explains he had a near-death-experience after a paragliding attempt went wrong, resulting in him breaking 12 bones in his body.

He continues: “I understand the human condition with some humility; I’ve made mistakes and wrong calls.

“To some extent, this selection is a test of the party. If the party is frightened of me … that means the party’s changed and something has gone wrong.

“I think it would be the most interesting election Britain has ever seen – Boris, Ken and I on a platform together.”

And if he doesn’t win? “I don’t know!

Ask me in May but you’ll probably see what I’ll be doing in the papers.” And he’s right, we probably will.

Opik and Merily

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights NEWS & SPORT

Celebrate the UK’s favourite buffoon

41

“…and so the rabbi says: throw the money up in the air and God can take what he wants. What falls back down, we’ll keep.”

Janine Kelso janine.kelso@tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

B

lunt-talking Prince Philip celebrated his 90th birthday last Friday, prompting me to devote this column to my all-time favourite and, quite frankly, under-rated member of the royal family.

While the rest of the British monarchy has bored me stupid over the years, particularly try-hard Prince Charles with his mindnumbing speeches, Prince Philip has been entertaining us with his incorrigible slips of the tongue.

In today’s politically correct society where everyone, especially those in high office, is oh-so-careful about what they say, Prince Philip’s outspokenness is refreshing.

He seems to be cursed with Tourettes, verbalising what many people think, but would never actually say (well, maybe with a few exceptions). He refers to his affliction as “dontopedalogy ... the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practised for a good many years”.

His best gaffes have included asking Aboriginal leader William Brin: “Do you still throw spears at each other?” And telling the President of Nigeria, donning traditional robes, that he looked like he was “ready for bed”.

He’s like a loveable blunt granddad for the nation and he reminds me of my plain-spoken gran who liked to (loudly) point out fat people in supermarkets or restaurants, particularly if they were scoffing a sundae or a “huge pile of chips”.

We love a buffoon here in the UK - that’s why crazy-haired oaf Boris Johnson was voted London mayor and why Hugh Grant’s bumbling fool characters are so adorable. I also believe Grant’s persona helped us to forgive him the Divine Brown affair.

But these buffoons stand in the shade when it comes to Prince Philip. I think he should be made king before he kicks the bucket.

Watch this space for his next faux pas.

HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW Footballers are known for their vanity and despite stoneskulled appearances to the contrary, Wayne Rooney is no different.

Wayne’s “honesty is refreshing ” Last week, he admitted on Twitter that he had treated himself to a hair transplant.

Although he’s been a bit of a granny-shagging laughing stock in the media in the past,

I salute Wayne for having the balls to admit that he’d had the procedure.

Without naming names (Jude Law and Gordon Ramsey) other celebrities appear to have suddenly sprouted hair on previously baldy bonces, but they vehemently deny having had any barnet surgery.

In a time where celebrities are getting injunctions all over the shop to protect their precious private lives, poor lambs, it’s refreshing that Wayne is so honest.

æ

P10 Summer pop-ups P70 Talking Turkey

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tntmagazine.com

SPORT VIEW bite-sized action and analysis Rugby league

BOYD TO JOIN BENNETT The chance to share a piece of rugby league history with the man he credits with making him a better person and player influenced Darius Boyd’s decision to leave St George Illawarra and join Newcastle.

As expected, Boyd will follow Wayne Bennett, who he’s referred to as a father-like figure ever since his arrival at Brisbane as a troubled youngster in 2005, to the Knights on a four-year deal.

“Obviously I wouldn’t be going there without Wayne but in the end it was my own decision,” Boyd said.

“It was a tough decision because the Dragons have been great and I’ve been missing home (Brisbane) as well.”

Bennett, who took Boyd with him to the Dragons after Brisbane failed to offer him a contract for 2009, left the decision up to the 23-year-old.

æ

P23 Camille O’Sullivan P61 A weekend in Vienna

æ

Australian rules

DUTHIE’S LIES DEEPEN The 17-year-old schoolgirl at the heart of the scandal engulfing player manager Ricky Nixon has again thrust herself into the limelight, after retracting her claims the pair had sex, before immediately admitting her retraction was false.

Kim Duthie, who earlier this year posted naked pictures of St Kilda players on Facebook, appeared on Channel 10 and made a public apology to Nixon. After the interview, though, with cameras still rolling, Duthie told the hosts: “I can tell already that you know, that everything I just said I lied about.”

BIG WEEK FOR .......

■ Darren Lockyer is

Channel 10 subsequently broadcast Duthie’s comments, ensuring one of the more tawdry sport scandals of recent times rolls on.

Rugby union

CANES STARS SACKED Hurricanes coach Mark Hammett was emboldened to axe star players Ma’a Nonu and Andrew Hore after the pair refused to give up midweek boozing.

No official reasons were given for the sensational sacking of the Hurricanes’ star player and captain, but it was the pair’s inability to change their ways that led to the decision to send them packing.

Hammett’s relationship with Nonu got off to a bad start when the All Blacks second five-eighth was yellow-carded twice in the opening-round loss to the Highlanders.

And it was strained further by the midfielder’s penchant for challenging his coach’s ideas during training.

Motorsport

WEBBER TAKES STAND The Bahrain Grand Prix has been cancelled,

rescheduled and cancelled again and Australian ace Mark Webber is among the drivers uncomfortable with competing in Bahrain, given the country’s political strife.

“As a key competitor and a driver, obviously I think it’s important that we do have an understanding of what places we go and compete at,” Webber said. “I don’t think there’s any reason to go.

“I think it’s important that when someone asks you a very honest and straight-forward question, that’s not related to tyre pressures or front wings, that you try to give something that’s real, from how you were brought up.”

Mark Webber

Getty Images

playing his final State of Origin series – how fitting it would be for the Queensland skipper to produce another star turn on Wednesday to help his side clinch a sixth straight series. If the Maroons win, all the talk will be about their dynasty, which Lockyer has done as much as anyone to build.

Within sight: Dallas Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki has been the stand-out player in the NBA finals, top-scoring for his side in each game against the star-studded Miami Heat. If the Mavs clinch their first title, Big Dirk will be the man

Will Genia is one of the Reds’ stars

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

frustrated at the decision … because of inconsistent selection policies

”

Aussie cricketer Simon Katich has a pop at selectors after being effectively sacked at international level

playing in “USNot Open. Very disappointed. Shortterm frustration for long-term gain Preview … Bumper Saturday of Super 15 CHIEFS V REDS Saturday 6.30am, Sky Sports 2

CRUSADERS V HURRICANES Saturday 8.30am, Sky Sports 2

WARATAHS V BRUMBIES Saturday 10.30am, Sky Sports 2 It’s the last week of Super 15 before the playoffs and there’s still plenty of jostling for spots in the pecking order.

There’s daylight between the Reds and the next best Australian side but they can also cap their barnstorming season by securing the top spot heading into the final month of the season. The Chiefs have been disappointing this year, typically hot and cold throughout, and the Reds should really be too good to stumble at this late hurdle.

Across the Tasman, the Crusaders will be hoping they can head into the playoffs with

a win, while twisting the knife against a Hurricanes side that has begun to fray, highlighted by the sackings of Ma’a Nonu and Andrew Hore. The Crusaders remain one of the most dangerous sides at the business end of the season and, if their stars click this weekend, they will head into the first week of the finals – which will likely be suddendeath for them – with their tails up.

Further down, the Waratahs take on their neighbours, the Brumbies, in an Australian derby. In the scramble for the final play-offs spots, the Waratahs may need to rely on other results but, even if they fall short, a win over a bitter rival would be a handy way to finish a season when they have again struggled for rhythm.

Next week, of course, the real stuff starts.

Who will come out on top?

”

Former world number one Tiger Woods tweets his unavailability for this week’s US Open

Thank you for having accepted me the way I am, for having cried when I cried

“

”

Ronaldo (below), looking well-fed these days, farewells fans of the Brazilian national team. Nauseating stuff, really

Getty Images

The Chat … CESC FABREGAS ON THE MOVE? What’s happening?

Every off-season, the Arsenal captain is linked to a move back to his hometown club, Barcelona.

And with every season that passes without Arsenal winning a trophy, the chat becomes increasingly compelling. According to reports in the Spanish press, Gunners boss Arsene Wenger is resigned to losing his star player this time around.

So it’s a done deal?

Well, it’s a weird situation

because, although Fabregas is a magnificent player, he wouldn’t actually be guaranteed of a spot in Barcelona’s starting line-up.

Does he really want to switch clubs to start on the bench?

What would he cost Barca?

That is, of course, the other sticking point. Arsenal will want big bucks – about £50m, give or take. But it’s hard to imagine Barcelona happily parting with that kind of cash for a player not guaranteed of making their best side.

TV HIGHLIGHTS BASKETBALL Miami Heat v Dallas Mavericks Wednesday 2am, ESPN Stay up late for Game 7, if required RUGBY LEAGUE NSW v Queensland Wednesday 10.30am, Sky Sports 1 Origin Two – can the Blues bounce back?

CRICKET England v Sri Lanka Thursday 10.30am, Sky sports 1 England on track to tie up the series

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NEWS & SPORT

I’m extremely “disappointed and

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

England’s star is rising while (inset) Simon Katich’s axing reflects Australian uncertainty

Tom Sturrock tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

Getty Images

I

t’s been a woeful few years for Australian cricket and the clamour for change was rising even before the Ashes were lost on home soil in January.

Last week, a measure of change arrived, with veteran opener Simon Katich canned from the list of central contracts. It was greeted not with approval, though, but as further confirmation that the Australian brains trust has lost the plot. Katich, 35, it was pointed out, has been Australia’s best performed batsman of late – in the past three years, only England’s Alastair Cook has scored more runs.

Katich’s axing epitomises the predicament facing Australian cricket. Regeneration is required, but there are few young players commanding spots at the expense of older heads. For example, Katich will be replaced at the top of the order by 22-year-old Phil Hughes.

He’s younger, sure, but the switch weakens the side in the short-term.

How long before Ricky Ponting and Mike Hussey are replaced by less accomplished striplings?

Meanwhile, England take the field in Southampton this week, hoping to wrap up their three-Test series against Sri Lanka.

It’s hard to recall an England side with as much self-belief as this

current unit. A year ago, if Andrew Strauss and Kevin Pietersen were struggling as they have been lately, England would be vulnerable.

Instead, Cook, Jonathon Trott and Ian Bell have picked up the slack.

Indeed, England are travelling so smoothly that they can afford to carry Stuart Broad, whose bowling still fails to justify his seemingly automatic selection.

England’s heavyweight fourmatch series against India begins next month. Victory, or even a draw, will confirm that England’s star is rising. Australian fans, on the other hand, must grimly accept that their side’s prospects will likely grow bleaker before they can be expected to brighten.

WELCOME TO THE OFF-SEASON For nine months of the year, the British sports sections are saturated with football

is “noThere off-season for football ” coverage. Even when nothing happens, it’s the standard eight pages and the season is so long that there’s time for the pundits to change their minds at least a dozen times.

It’s only in this narrow window of summer that there’s any respite. It’s the

off-season – that means football is no longer the only story in town, right?

The reality is that, in this country, there is no off-season for football. Sure, there are no actual games, but that does little to quell the intrigue.

Who will manage who? Which players will be bought by which clubs? Who’s had their super-injunction blown apart

by Twitter?

So strap in for three months of white noise before another interminably long campaign begins in August.

æ

P14 Are you a psycho?

P64 Party in Croatia

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NEWS & SPORT

Rivals poles apart and drifting further

45

NEWS & SPORT 46

Horses from all around the world compete at Ascot

Hats off to the ladies

A DAY AT THE RACES Hooves first beat the turf of Royal Ascot 300 years ago and the course remains the jewel in the crown of the British racing calendar WORDS TOM STURROCK

H Shout yourself horse on race day

tntmagazine.com

THE HISTORY Much of Royal Ascot’s appeal derives from the fact it is mind-bendingly old.

The racecourse was founded in 1711, and the first race – with a purse of 100 guineas – was held in August that year.

Back then, horse racing was a genteel past-time and the track enjoyed royal patronage – hence the name. Even today, the poshest part of Ascot is the Royal Enclosure, where the course’s highfalutin dress code was initiated. Men of elegance were expected to wear waisted black coats and white cravats with pantaloons.

Ladies were required to wear hats, a rule that remains in place even today within the Royal Enclosure.

Getty Images

Toffs: they lurk everywhere

orse racing has a unique ability to produce ‘instant experts’. They’re the spectator who pays attention for no more than one week of the year, but is quite comfortable waxing lyrical on the nuances of the sport, about how the different conditions will suit different horses and generally employing the lingo of the turf to clumsy, ill-fitting effect.

And, really, it doesn’t get any more exciting for these fairweather pundits than Royal Ascot – the biggest five days of racing in Europe. It’s a meeting steeped in tradition and attracting the cream of the crop. So, with the nags in their barriers, here’s your inside running on how to bluff your way through it all.

‘Which one is sweetest? You’ll have to unwrap us to find out’

NEWS & SPORT 47

A sly flutter is all part of the day

Over the years, “ Ascot has grown more inclusive

”

Getty Images

Naturally, Royal Ascot has become more inclusive with the passing years but plenty of pomp and ceremony remains.

Every year, the Queen and members of the royal family attend, arriving in a horsedrawn carriage with the royal procession taking place at the start of each race day before the raising of the Queen’s standard.

Bluff your way through: ”Did you know that, at various stages in Royal Ascot’s history, men and women weren’t permitted to mix in the course’s public areas? And there were also strict divisions between the different social classes. Goodness me – imagine that. How far we’ve come!”

THE RACING There are five days of racing at Royal Ascot, running from Tuesday to Saturday, with six races each day and nearly £4m in prizemoney up for grabs.

The Group One events, of which there are three on the opening Tuesday and one every other day, are the main attractions.

The most prestigious races are probably the Prince of Wales’s stakes on Wednesday, the Gold Cup on the Thursday and the Golden Jubilee Stakes on the Saturday.

Royal Ascot attracts competitors from all around the world and this year

a record-breaking 10 horses have made the trip from across the Atlantic, while the Asian contingent includes the Singaporetrained Rocket Man, setting his sights on the Golden Jubilee after an impressive lead-in in Dubai.

Bluff your way through: “Sure, the sprints may be the glamour events, but for me it’s all about the longer trip, the events where the stayers come to the fore. As a Royal Ascot highlight, it’s hard to go past watching Yeats, that noble Irish thoroughbred, powering to his fourth consecutive Gold Cup in 2009.”

THE SCENE Weather pending, about 300,000 people traipse out to Berkshire every year.

The event’s popularity has created something of a division among committed racing fans – some are admittedly gratified by the attention while others carp about the offfield frippery detracting from the serious business of gambling and horsefancying.

A few years ago, organisers felt the scene was becoming too chavvy, so they implemented a crackdown on bare midriffs, fake tans, flashy jewellery and over-the-top-footwear.

Women were also warned they would not be admitted if their underwear was visible.

Bluff your way through: “Fascinators were really popular a few years back but some people think they are a bit passe now.

“My one, in coffee and cream, goes perfectly with my knee-length mocha and bronze Grecian-style dress.”

THE ANTIPODEAN CONNECTION Kiwi racing enthusiasts will be paying particular attention to the Prince of Wales’s Stakes, Royal Ascot’s richest race, in which two-time Cox Plate winner So You Think is among the favourites.

The four-year-old was bred in New Zealand but has done most of his racing in Australia, where he was trained by Bart Cummings.

So You Think is owned by Malaysian property tycoon Dato Tan Chim Nam, who is keen to pit his champion horse against the best in the world.

“I have been very fortunate to have raced some great horses and, from Think Big to So You Think, I have always wanted my best horses to have their greatness tested. So You Think has been challenged in Australia and shown himself to be the ‘tiger’,” Dato Chan said. “He deserves his chance to see if he is the biggest tiger in world racing.”

The owners of Australian superstar Black Caviar elected not to send him north this year, but Hinchinbrook, Horray and Star Witness are among the fancies in the sprints.

So You Think… you can win at Ascot?

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CAREERS & MONEY

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CAREERS CAREERS & MONEY

Got the lurgy? Keep dirty tissues as proof

49

ON THE JOB ANJA HANISCH Career Technology transfer officer Age 34 Lives Central London From Germany How did you get into your line of work?

I was always good at science and knowing that I could potentially change people’s lives made it an easy choice.

What do you do day to day?

I work with scientists in cancer research to try to identify if any of their projects might lead to a real cancer patient benefit if they are developed.

What’s the best thing about your job?

I’m a scientist by training and I enjoy learning about new science every day. I always hope that one day I’ll identify and help to commercialise a project that we can get into clinics to help patients. That would be the ultimate reward.

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What’s the most challenging?

Dealing with strong personalities and failed projects again and again.

Bosses suss sickies H

aving a foot stuck in a toilet and being been bitten by a shark are just two of the wild excuses staff have given for pulling a sickie.

According to a study of 194 bosses by CareerBuilder, one staff member even called in ill saying he needed to take his mother shopping, while another said they felt “out of sorts” after having a bad dream. The survey also

revealed half of UK employers said they would check-up on staff if they called in sick. And nine per cent of those would take the drastic measure of driving past an employee’s house to make sure they really were unwell.

Tony Roy, president of CareerBuilder EMEA, said: “If you lie about the reason for needing time off, you can seriously hurt your credibility

with your employer. “A vast majority (79 per cent) of employers enable workers to use sick days for mental health days to rest, recharge and return more productive, so your best bet is to be up-front and honest with your manager.”

BRITS HUNT ON THE SLY

YOUNG STAFF STRESSED

HOLIDAYS SACRIFICED

More than a quarter of Britain’s employees spend between five and 10 working hours each week looking for another job.

A survey of 2000 jobseekers by Monster.co.uk also found that 49 per cent of workers applied for the jobs at work and 12 per cent had been caught.

More than 2.4 million British workers aged 18-29 say bosses are making them shoulder the brunt of a poor economy.

Two-fifths of the workers are stressed and feel pressured to work longer hours, according to a study by research agency, GfK NOP Engage.

Workers need two months of holiday a year to remain happy in their jobs, but more than a quarter of British employees are sacrificing holiday to stay on top of a hectic workload, recruitment agency reed.co.uk found. Fears of redundancy deterred a further 13 per cent.

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GET A

FOOT

There’s no time like the present to fine tune your CV. Make it short, specific and name drop where you can – that should do the trick WORDS REBECCA KENT

IN THE DOOR

D

on’t leave your CV festering in the recesses of your computer’s hard drive. Summer is as good excuse as any to give it a makeover, so fish it out and make it something that is so eye-catching it will get it plucked from the pile every time.

tntmagazine.com

NAME A CELEBRITY A Lloyds banker once boasted in his CV he was part of Tony Blair’s delegation to China, and a marketing executive once trumpeted he was responsible for introducing Fosters to the UK by using Paul Hogan in the advertisements.

Shameless name-dropping will get you everywhere.

Getty Images

SELL YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS Firstly, keep your CV fresh and when a job crops up, tailor it. Tell your readers exactly what they have asked for in their job description, keep it short (absolutely no more than two pages), plain and make it easy for them to find the information they need.

Helen Menhenett, head of research at outplacement provider Fairplace, suggests opening your CV with a profile that says something specific about you.

“It’s no good saying you’re ‘motivated’ or a ‘team player’ because they expect that of

everyone,” she says. “Write solid, quantifiable things you’ve done and achievements you’ve made.”

Then look at the strengths you had in each job and prove them with instances where you have, for example, saved money or have made a real difference to a l Pau ple, like Work with famous peo company. Frame these stories in a challengened ntio me be uld sho Hogan, action-result format. For example: “Reversed a sales decline of 10 per cent by reducing product delivery times and upselling related products.”

Statements like this will catch an employer’s attention every time.

CAREERS & MONEY

If it doesn’t stand out, your CV is no use

51 Get to know people in the company you want to work for

“You’ve got to give an employer a compelling reason to want to meet you, so throw in the names of famous or notable people you’ve met or worked with,” Menhenett advises.

“Otherwise, indulge in something memorable about yourself – if you’ve done work for a trade association, have been published or undertaken public speaking engagements, mention it.

“Or if you’re studying for some extra-curricular, unusual or more interesting qualifications, put them in, too.”

Thinkstock, TNT Images

DON’T DO DULLSVILLE Do you enjoy cycling or going to the theatre? Then save that information for a date. To an employer it screams dull. Recruiters know these hobbies don’t necessarily stretch your leadership skills or exercise your creativity.

“Don’t include any hobbies unless it’s something that demonstrate skills or expertise outside, above and beyond your professional qualifications,” says Menhenett. “You could be a school governor or you volunteer to help the disabled. Maybe you are studying or have published something, too.”

use the words you think a recruiter would search with. For example, say you use Excel or Powerpoint, rather than Microsoft Office, and if you are a bar tender, pepper your CV with other descriptive terms such as ‘beverage trading assistant’ and ‘service’, which a recruiter might use.

HOT TIP Make your email address name-based, so that it’s easy to find. A recruiter won’t recall something obscure and their email drop-down won’t find it easily.

MAKE IT PERSONAL Having said all that, even the most perfect Do it right and you’ll CV bears little be jumping for joy influence without personal interaction.

“Jobseekers spend hours refreshing CVs, but I believe that networking so that you get in front of the person with some hiring power is your first priority,” Menhenett advises.

If you manage to get an interview, send a letter afterwards.

WRITING AN ONLINE CV “This is very important.

Recruiters are known to mine through Send a thank-you letter reiterating the online jobs boards to find their perfect main points of the interview in respect of candidate using special search techniques. the challenges the company is facing and But, unless your CV contains the exact how you can help address them. words for the skills, qualifications or “You will leave the message that you experience that they are looking for really grasped the essence of what was yours may never rise from the database. being said and it could make a telling To optimise your CV for online, try to impression.”

TIPS FOR INTERVIEW SUCCESS These dos and don’ts will help you sparkle in an interview

˛

DO THE GROUND WORK Try to network with the staff or do some research with the receptionist about the office culture and buzzwords you can use in your interview.

BE A STORYTELLER Have four or five stories illustrating your key strengths relevant to the role.

They can transform the dry facts of your career into vivid accounts of your challenges and triumphs.

INVOLVE YOUR INTERVIEWER Ask questions, such as “You’re facing these sorts of problems, right?” and be aware of your interviewer’s reactions; speed up, slow down, or answer questions as necessary.

BE INTERESTING Modify your voice and gestures, or use pauses for dramatic effect.

Practise them so you don’t sound over-rehearsed.

VARY THE INTRODUCTION Use cues from your interviewer to launch into a story, such as :“Actually, that happened to me once”, or: “I faced exactly the same dilemma in my last job.”

DON’T RAMBLE Use a structure with a clearly defined beginning (the problem), a middle (the solution) and end (the outcome).

BE HONEST Give credit to others (if it’s due) to enhance your own credibility and likeability.

˛ ˛ ˛ ˛ ˛ ˛

tntmagazine.com

MONEY CAREERS & MONEY

Experts believe the UK lacks an edge in engineering

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

52

Laura Doyle

Engineers put off by cuts he UK is at risk of losing some of its most talented engineers to the US and emerging economies because of public spending cuts and a sceptical view in society of manufacturing, a report found.

A poll of 1000 engineering students and lecturers by American conglomerate

T

MAKES YOUR MONEY GO FURTHER

tntmagazine.com

chief executive, said: “The engineering sector is the lifeblood of the UK economy but we need to grow our competitive edge.”

Lecturers ranked the UK as only the fifth leading market for opportunities for UK engineers, behind the US, China, Germany and India.

SONY TO LOSE ON VITA

BETTING THE DIET SECRET

Sony will make a loss on every sale of its new games console, the Playstation Vita. The combination of packing in so much power into such a small package and keeping the price low means Sony will take a hit with hardware sales, though it expects to make a profit within three years.

Bet on yourself losing weight and you are more likely to do it, according to America’s ‘The You Docs’. A study found that dieters who bet on themselves to win shed 4kg while nonbetters lost only 1.2kg over 16 weeks. Also, dieters offered cash lost 16kg, compared to 1.3kg for no money.

Rooney reveals his new crop

How do you budget in London?

I’ve worked out a monthly allowance to live off, which I try to stick to. It never really happens though as I always end up overspending on nights out and clothes. But the plan – and the intention – is there.

Any money-saving tips?

Websites like vouchercodes. co.uk are amazing. They help you save money on meals out, clothes and travel.

Last big blowout?

Tickets to Isle of Wight Festival. A huge festival and drinking in the field completes my summer.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Clothes, gigs, beer. All the things that make life more interesting.

THE TRUE COST OF BEAUTY Folically-challenged footballer Wayne Rooney underwent a hair transplant worth £6000. Look at what others have done for vanity’s sake... » As part of a bizarre pre-nup, £20,000 on cosmetic surgery, Lisa Hind’s husband paid £15,000 for her surgery so she could look like glamour model Jordan, complete with botox, collagen and tattoo make-up. » Beauty addict Kirsty Yaqub was just 20 years old, but that didn’t stop her blowing

including a boob job, teeth veneers, lip-fillers and tanning. » American Tim Whitfield-Lynn underwent jawbone sculpting, dental surgery and cheek implants worth tens of thousands of pounds so he could look like a Ken doll.

Thinkstock, Twitter

Sweaty strangers and queuing for the running machine at the gym, versus jogging in wide-open spaces.

It’s a no-brainer, really.

As the days get warmer and the nights brighter, now is the time to ditch your gym membership, lace up your trainers, pound the streets and perform push-ups in the park. Gyms demand something of a £40 joining fee and then upwards of £65 a month for the privilege of using a treadmill, so not only is the alternative cheaper, it’s much more wholesome, too.

And if you need more motivation to get out and stretch your legs, seek out jogging buddies in your area at runningpartners.org.uk.

General Electric found only 13 per cent of lecturers feel the UK has a growing talent pool in the sector while 82 per cent of students said greater investment in higher education and vocational training was needed to boost the country’s competitiveness.

Mark Elborne, GE’s UK

Job Graphic designer From Colindale Lives Aldenham Age 25

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ROCK OF AGES Aa oo um

Hug gigantic stones and dance naked at Stonehenge’s Summer Solstice WORDS JANINE KELSO

Stonehenge WILTSHIRE, ENGLAND

F

orget tree hugging; cuddling lumps of rock is the order of the day at Stonehenge’s Summer Solstice celebrations, along with the (optional) shedding of clothes to dance upon the stones. That said, most people will just stand goggle-eyed at 4.45am on Tuesday, June 21, as the sun rises spectacularly behind the megalithic monument on Salisbury Plain, in an event that marks an important date in the Pagan calendar.

Dance ‘til dawn

FESTIVAL FEVER The Summer Solstice is a mass gathering with a festival-feel, attracting around 20,000 people.

Modern-day druids togged up in sweeping white robes and headdresses are joined by hippies, performance artists, families with wide-eyed kids, local teenagers with carrier bags of grog and revellers there for the all-night bender – or for a precursor to Glastonbury which begins a few days later on June 24.

Aside from the rock hugging and naked dancing, expect dancing, singing, chanting and meditating because, for druids, who follow the pagan religion, Stonehenge is their temple and Summer Solstice is like their Christmas.

It is one of the few times of the year when visitors are allowed to walk among the stones, but security guards and police will be standing by to stop people climbing on to them.

Getty Images

MYTHS AND LEGENDS Deeply mysterious and atmospheric, Stonehenge’s ginormous structures have

SHORT BREAK Welcoming in the sun

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Get the party started

NEED TO KNOW

ENGLAND LONDON

WHEN TO GO Tuesday June 21 at dawn GETTING THERE By car or on a tour SEE visitwiltshire.co.uk and nationaltrust.org.uk

Avebury Stonehenge

Getty Images, Thinkstock

baffled scholars and archaeologists for centuries. Are they a UFO landing spot, an astronomical device to mark the solstices or a royal palace?

Recent evidence even suggests that the stone circle could have been a centre of healing, with people coming from as far afield as Switzerland to receive treatment.

The fact that the stones are aligned with the Summer Solstice sunrise have led experts to suggest a link to an ancient sun-worshipping culture.

Erected 5000 years ago from bluestone and sandstone (lugged from south Wales, 240km away), these ancient rock structures are even older than the Pyramids. Stonehenge was abandoned 3500 years ago, but nobody knows why.

The surrounding countryside is also swathed in meaning, with more than 340 Bronze Age burial mounds or barrows, as well as earthworks.

ROCK STARS Summer Solstice is the longest day of the year with the shortest night, with about 17 hours of daylight, normally a tipping point as evenings get longer and days shorter from here onwards. Solstice means “sun stands still” in Latin and refers to the fact

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP EAT The Polly Tearooms (thepolly.com) offer tasty cream teas and handmade chocolates. The Bridge Inn, in Upper Woodfood (thebridgewoodford.co.uk), enjoys a riverside location and is featured in the Michelin guide thanks to its top-notch cuisine. The George Inn (thegeorgeinnshrewton.co.uk) is just four miles from Stonehenge and offers first-class locally sourced food, along with real ales and ciders.

DRINK

Druid dude

that the sun appears to rise and set in the same place for several days. If you miss the Summer Solstice, swing by for the Winter Solstice at dawn on December 22 where you’ll find the same type of entertainment but with warmer clothes.

SIZE IS EVERYTHING Once you’re done with the world’s most famous stone circle, head to Avebury, just 25km up the road, the planet’s biggest stone circle which is thought to have taken more than 500 years to build.

Only 27 of its original 99 stones remain and there’s a village smack-bang in the middle of them all (it’s that big), but visitors can wander freely among them and take in the infectious atmosphere.

Salisbury’s Wig & Quill Traditional Pub (wigandquill.co.uk) dates back to 1410 and serves up five cask ales and homemade food. Moloko Bar (themolokobar.co.uk) offers a huge selection of Vodkas, while The Pheasant (restaurant-salisbury.com) is housed within a historic building and sells real ales.

SLEEP If you’re on a budget, crash at Cholderton Youth Hostel (choldertoncharliesfarm.com) at £15.95 for a dorm bed, set on a farm in the Wiltshire countryside just four miles from Stonehenge. The farm also has tipis which come with a BBQ, a chimnea heater and fuel to keep you warm. Tipis can be hired from May to October and start from £150 for a two-night package. Alternatively, stay in cosy B&B The Wheatcheaf (thewheatsheafwilton.co.uk) from £60 per room per night.

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LATE DEALS

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UNDER £250

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An eight-day Sail Red Sea tour is £149 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours. com), including the Tawila, Gubal, Ras Mohammed, Sha’ab El Erg, Onghosh Safaga and Giftun Island. Excludes flights. Departs Sep 12, 19 and 26. Offer based on two people booking the same tour at the same time. Book by Jun 31.

A two-day Stonehenge, Bath and Oxford tour is £109 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk), including coach travel, one night’s accommodation with breakfast and dinner, time for sightseeing in Oxford and Bath, and entrance to Stonehenge.

Departs Jun 18.

A seven-night beach holiday on Turkey’s Mediterranean coast is £129 with Monarch (0871 423 8642; monarch.co.uk), including flights and self-catering accommodation. Departs Jun 30.

Four nights in the exotic city of Marrakech, Morocco is £195 with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271), including B&B accommodation and fiights.

Departs July 20.

A three-day Paris tour is £229 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co. uk), including return Eurostar, transfers and two nights’ B&B accommodation. Departs June 24.

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OVER £500

A 10-day Exotic Morocco tour is £449 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com), including B&B accommodation and some other meals. Visit Casablanca, Fes and more.

Excludes flights. Departs Jun 25. Book by Jun 31.

An eight-day Express tour of China is £493 with Gap Adventures (0844 272 0000; gapadventures.com), including the Great Wall of China, the Terracotta Warriors and more.

Departs Jul 23 from Beijing.

Two-for-one on the sevennight Croatia sailing trip is £486 with Busabout (08450 267 514; busabout.com), including B&B accommodation and seven lunches. Departs Jun 18.

Seven nights in Zante is £286 with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271), including B&B accommodation and flights. Departs Jun 20.

A 10-day South Africa Discoverer tour is £568 (was £709) with STA Travel (0871 230 8552; statravel.co.uk). Excludes flights. Book by Jun 23.

A 12-day Annapurna & Chitwan tour of Nepal is £556 (save £139) with Imaginative Traveller (0845 564 8515; imaginative-traveller.com), including an elephant ride in the Chitwan National Park, river rafting and more. Departs Sep 18. Book before Jun 20.

Seven nights in Malaysia is £649 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk), including flights and B&B accommodation. Valid for travel from Sep 4-18. Offer ends Jun 30.

A 14-day tour of Egypt is £515 with Oasis Overland (01963 363400; oasisoverland.co.uk), including accommodation.

Excludes flights. Departs Jul 3.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

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A six-day Pamplona Opening Ceremony tour is £125 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours. com). Excludes flights.

Book by June 15. Departs July 5.

See the Terracotta Warriors on an eight-day tour of China for £493 with Gap Adventures

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TRAVEL 61

TNT Weekender Vienna AUSTRIA

While its regular performances of world-class ballet and classical music make it the perfect spot to embrace high culture, Vienna’s abundance of atmospheric outdoor bars make it ideal for a summer weekend break.

Leopoldstradt, has a burgeoning cultural scene with its buzzing bars and shops, especially in the area around Augarten, Karmelitermarkt and the Danube Canal.

Known as Matzo Island, Leopoldstradt is where many Jews were rounded up before

ART ATTACK The Kunst Haus Wien museum is celebrating its 20th anniversary with an exhibition devoted to its founder, Austrian artist Friedensreich Hundertwasser.

The artists’ paintings will be shown from July 7 until November 6. Art fans will be able to see paintings never shown in Vienna before. See kunsthauswien.com.

© Austrian National Tourist Office/ Popp Hackner, (C) Kunst Haus Wien

GET THE CAMERA OUT If you’re looking for a high vantage point for a few crafty photos, head to the Prater amusement park and climb on board the Riesenrad (ferris wheel). This is not just a thrill ride – actually, it’s not much of a thrill at all, unless you’re scared of heights, rickety old structures or the combination of both — it’s a 65m tall symbol of Vienna, a movie star (see The Living Daylights, The Third Man and Before Sunrise) and a history lesson as well.

Built in 1897 to mark the Golden Jubilee of Emperor Franz Josef I, the wheel was damaged by bombs in World War II but rose to rotate once more, thus symbolising the reconstruction of the city.

HIP DISTRICT Vienna’s second district, or

Prater park this autumn in an event erupting in beer, wine and music. Boasting four giant marquees on the Kaiserwiese meadow in front of the Giant Ferris Wheel, the new event will take place from September 23 until October 2. See wienerwiesn.at.

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Anytime, but book ahead for July, August or Christmas.

GETTING THERE Fly to Vienna with easyJet. VISAS South Africans need a Schengen Visa.

GETTING AROUND The Vienna metro is fast and frequent.

Consider buying a 24-hour travelcard for cheap travel.

Trams are quick for trips across the centre of town.

GOING OUT It costs about £4 for a beer.

GERMANY COFFEE CULTURE being deported to death camps during the Holocaust.

Nowadays, the Karmelitermarket is once again flourishing as a Jewish district with kosher food shops and eateries.

TRY THE LOCAL TIPPLE The Austrian answer to Oktoberfest, Wiener Wiesn, will make its debut in the

Kaffee und Kuchen (coffee and cake) is practically a ritual in Vienna, and can be enjoyed in one of the city’s many cafes.

Choose from the historical Cafe Central to the bohemian Cafe Hawelka. Expect the cafes to be smoky, as diners are still allowed to light up in public places in Austria.

NEXT WEEK BELGRADE

VIENNA

AUSTRIA

ITALY

TNT online For a full travel guide on Austria go to tntmagazine. com/travel

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HOTSHOTS TRAVEL

Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

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WINNER ROBERTO CLEMENTE BRIDGE, PITTSBURGH Nate Mitchell from Pittsburgh, US

Nate makes an excellent use of curves, converging diagonals, repeated shapes and parallel lines to show off the grandeur of this city bridge. Using the overhead beam as leading lines immediately constructs a closed-in atmosphere, which contrasts with the open, huge scene it leads into. All the spectacular lights

create a twinkling texture across the image that gives a dazzling effect. A colourful monotone image!

HOT TIP: Artificial lights can create a huge contrast in a scene. Keep them small in the image to prevent them overpowering the shot. A star burst filter works well for a cheesy but effective showbiz atmosphere.

RUNNER-UP ST. PETER’S IN THE SNOW Euan Torstonson from New Zealand Euan has made the most of this snow-laden tree by shooting in black and white to emphasise the contrast of the snow and the branches. What shows off this tree is the inclusion of the church spire.

The tree appears to tower over it and dominates the image making it appear even

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» Nate wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £218 from Haggis Adventures (0131 557 9393; haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter.

more majestic. A low horizon intensifies this towering effect.

HOT TIP: Using a low horizon gives a feeling of space but will inevitably leave you with a lot of sky to fill. Clouds, a strategically placed sun, flying bird, tall building or trees all work well in filling this space. » Euan wins a photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (020 7793 8664; photographycourses. org.uk) valued at £60.

ADVERTORIAL

TRAVEL

AFRICA

OVERLAND

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OVERLANDING – WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT? n PARTICIPATION Life on the road is more about participating and less about spectating! Passengers are expected to roll their sleeves

n DRIVE TIMES Africa is a huge continent and drive times can be long. Driving days normally start at around 8am and finish around 5am, with stops for lunch, grocery purchases and local sightseeing.

n CAMPING

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Camping is all part of the experience and spacious, durable two-person A-frame or dome tents are provided for all passengers which are easily erected with sewn-in ground sheets and fly sheet.

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chimpanzee sanctuary. Offering optional excursions affords a greater degree of flexibility, independence and choice allowing you to enjoy your safari on budget.

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The Garden Festival

FESTIVAL TIME Byzantine church, Zadar

Ditch the wellies and find a sun-drenched alternative to Glastonbury in Croatia WORDS JENNIFER CARR

Zadar CROATIA

A

s the fifth largest city in Croatia, the historic fortress city of Zadar is a great base if you’re heading to one of the summer coastal festivals held in nearby Petrcane.

In recent years, the whole region has fostered a reputation for throbbing, flipflop-friendly festivals including the likes of Electric Elephant, The Garden Festival, Suncebeat and Stop Making Sense, all of which are based on the enchanting Croatian peninsula.

With its sleepy, trafficfree streets, delicious seafood and Roman history Feel the love – a legacy of the

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city’s original founders – here’s a great formula for some downtime in between festival going.

WHAT’S THE DRAW? As cliché as it sounds, Zadar’s appeal comes from taking your watch off and sinking into the city’s leisurely ambiance.

Given that Croatia was once a Roman municipality, the town is unsurprisingly Italian in its look and feel, and features plenty of sleepy alleyways that lead to notable historic buildings including the St Anastasia Cathedral and 16th century Church of St Simeon.

Kastel, a 13th century

SHORT BREAK Zadar panorama

EAT, SLEEP, DRINK SLEEP

some intriguing art shows, craft exhibitions, live music nights and theatrical performances. See: arsenalzadar.com/eng

EAT

Electric Elephant Festival

Ivo Pervan, Kaie Palmer, Turnmaster Tim, David Bowen / bophoto.co.uk, TNT Images

Venetian establishment in the old town, is worth a mention for a delicious pitstop: hearty local lamb, seafood stews and crisp, locally made Korkula wine are the order of the day here.

BEYOND THE CITY LIMITS Less than an hour from Zadar you’ll find mountain tourism at its most majestic.

Serving up an orienteering dream in the form of fissures, crooks, cliffs, pits and caves, the Paklenica National Park is made from two limestone gorges that offer plenty of easily accessed trails.

Ideal for novice hikers, the park serves up some beautiful topography, not to mention rare butterflies, spectacular caves and grumpy-looking Griffin vultures. Best of all, it’s a short 50-minute train ride from Zadar.

FLIP-FLOP-FRIENDLY FESTIVALS A 20-minute cab ride from Zadar is Petrcane, a pretty fishing village that’s enjoying an annual influx of good-timers coming for several alfresco music festivals based along the region’s breathtaking Dalmatian coastline.

The Garden Festival (July 6-13) paved the way in 2006 and continues to offer a feel-good fusion of disco, house and funk.

See thegardenfestival.eu Four more festivals – Electric Elephant (July 14-18; electricelephant.co.uk), Soundwave (July 22-24; soundwavecroatia. com), Suncebeat (July 29-31; suncebeat. com) and Stop Making Sense (August 12-14; sms-2010.com) – have joined in the act to ensure that a visit to Petrcane between CROATIA early July and ZAGREB September will be upbeat in more ways Zadar than one.

Split

Stop Making Sense Festival

Hit Zadar’s Five Wells Square for Skoblar, the oldest taverna in the city and a standout option for fresh seafood and grilled fish. For an authentic pizza / pasta for under £5, go to Dva Ribard on Blaza Jurjeva 1.

Fancy something special? Don’t miss Tamaris, a short journey from the centre where the signature roasted lamb from nearby Pag Island is reliably delicious.

DRINK The Garden Baris is an atmospheric, stylish spot to watch the sun go down over a mojito or two. Back in Zadar Old Town, Gotham bar has quirky DJs and gorgeous garden for alfresco drinking. If you’re after something more relaxed, Maya pub is a chilled option featuring vaguely exotic Eastern tunes.

Dubrovnik

OLD SCHOOL Nestling behind the walls of the old city is the Arsenal (no, not the Gooners football club) but an ancient Venetian maritime building that has been restored from former crumbling glory to now showcase

NEED TO KNOW GETTING THERE Ryanair flies daily to Zadar from London Stansted. (From £80 return.)

FESTIVALS Tickets and information for the Garden Festival and other Petrcane based festivals can be found at: watchthegardengrow.eu/ the-garden-petrcane.

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TRAVEL

For budget watchers, the clean simplicity of YH Zadar is enhanced by its tranquil location overlooking Zadar’s marina. Beds are comfy and dorm rooms have private and shared bathrooms from £12. Book online at hihostels.com. For those wanting to self-cater, the tasteful Villa Triana 5km away on Diklo is good choice with studios from £53. And if you’re blowing the budget, don’t miss Hotel Bastion in the town centre, for boutique, spaenhanced indulgence. See hotelbastion.hr/

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TIPS Palma de Mallorca

READERS’ TIPS PITCH UP

TRAVEL

When camping TIP OF at festivals, take THE WEEK a flag to put at the top of your tent so that you can find it at the end of the night. @GemmaBrown, via Twitter

LOCAL EATS

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Look for where the locals eat. You will find fantastic food at half the price of tourist restaurants. @Prawny2004, via Twitter

GO UNDERGROUND

YOU ASKED FOR IT Laura Lindsay FROM LONELY PLANET Is Eastbourne or Bournemouth better as a day trip from London? What can I do in both cities? I like independent boutiques, art galleries, quirky bars and cafes.

Sarah, via email

Q

A

tntmagazine.com

A

This really depends on how long you are in Ibiza for and what you hope to get out of the holiday. To be honest, you can’t really top Ibiza partywise and even if you had a month on the white isle you probably still wouldn’t have managed to see every DJ and visit every club!

Ibiza itself does have quieter spots too – head to the north coast to find quaint Mediterranean villages such as Sant Llorenç de Balàfia with its stunning 18th century church.

If you still feel the desire to island hop, the Balearics are well connected. Ferries operate between Ibiza and Mallorca, and Mallorca and Menorca, so Mallorca will need to figure into your plans. Palma de Mallorca should certainly be included as its stunning old quarter deserves to be explored. The cobbled streets, churches and courtyards may provide a welcome retreat from the sun and nightclubs.

You will also find some excellent seafood restaurants towards the port area.

Also consider Formentera. The least developed of the main Balearic islands with regular ferries running from Ibiza, the island has some stunning and quieter beaches.

Pete, via email Tweet your tips to @ tntmagazine or email traveltips@ tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

WIN

Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to traveltips@ tntmagazine. com. If she answers your question, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice.

This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Thinkstock

Eastbourne is much closer but Bournemouth’s beach is hard to beat.

Eastbourne will be the easier of the two to visit as it is much nearer to London (only 90 minutes by train) and the station drops you right in the heart of the city.

As Eastbourne isn’t a particularly large place, it is great if you want to avoid the crowds and opt for something a little different. The main draw card is the beach (although it’s pebbly) but there are also some quaint shops around the train station. The Enterprise Centre offers some alternative options (enterprise-centre.org).

Bournemouth, on the other hand, offers some laid-back surfer chic not too far from London.

At two hours by train, you may want to start very early or stay overnight to really make the journey worthwhile. Bournemouth’s beach is seven miles long and miles better than Eastbourne’s and there are some surf schools here too – if the conditions are right.

The Winter Gardens offer some attractive green space just off the beach. For an alternative bar check out Sixty Million Postcards (sixtymillionpostcards.com), which has DJs on Friday and Saturday nights.

A few friends and I are planning a trip to Ibiza and potentially Mallorca and Menorca too. Are the other islands worth seeing, or should we just stick to Ibiza? If so, what is the best area/beach to stay at?

Jai, via email

Q

When in Krakow, visit Wieliczka Salt Mines, just outside the city, which produced table salt from the 13th century. There’s a gorgeous cathedral carved entirely out of salt, including the chandeliers that hang from the ceiling.

There’s also a large underground salt lake.

Buses run there from the top of Starowisina Street, opposite the main post office, in Krakow.

TRAVEL NEWS

Glamping getaways

Switch on to get off

ECO-CAMPING Guernsey is welcoming its first eco-camping site on the island this month.

Launching on June 21, WildCamping will offer guests the chance to stay in tipis, canvas tents or their own tent, all in a beachside location. Activities include surfing, sea snorkelling, foraging, cycling, fishing and kayaking. Guests will be given free cycle rental and a buss pass during their stay to encourage them to enjoy the island car-free.

See wildguernsey.wordpress. com.

PAMPS PROBLEMS

Thinkstock

The Australian embassy is warning travellers visiting Spain for the San Fermin Festivities in Pamplona to take precautions against theft and street crime, and to respect local laws and customs. Any Australians needing assistance with consular emergencies during the Running of the Bulls can contact the Australian Embassy in Madrid on +34 91 353 6600 24-7. For travel advice, see smarttraveller.gov.au. For the festival programme, see pamplona.net

TRAVEL

A dedicated guide to 50 of the UK’s most glamorous camping spots is now on sale.

Glamping Getaways features secret tipis only accessed by canoe, luxury woodland lodges, plush canvas tents, gypsy caravans and stylish beach huts. The guide costs £16.95.

See coolcamping.co.uk.

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VIRTUAL SEX IN HOTELS Guests will be able to enjoy virtual sex and control their dreams in hotel rooms of the future, according to futurologist Ian Pearson.

In a recent report, Future of Sleep, Pearson envisions guests sleeping alone will be able to have sex with their partner via virtual lovemaking. If they get bored mid-act, they will be able to change their other half’s appearance.

High-tech contact lenses will allow guests to check emails or watch TV while falling asleep.

Pearson reckons we will be able to manage our dreams like in movie Inception.

“Video, audio, smells and tactile experiences produced using our bed or bed linen will play

a key role in helping to make our dreams feel real,” Pearson, commissioned by Travelodge to write the report, said. “We will be able to replay our favourite dream from a menu just like choosing a movie. Also, we will be link into dreams with our partner or family and friends and enjoy a shared dream experience.”

If you’re having trouble nodding off, listen to sounds of the ocean or a forest, pumped out of an audio unit built into the window.

Forget views of car parks or brick walls, hotel guests of the future can pick their dream room vista and will be able to see tourist attractions without leaving their room.

Social media affects travel Half of all travellers use social media to amass reviews and recommendations for their holidays, according to latest research by sunshine.co.uk.

A total of 98 per cent of respondents said they researched their chosen destination before booking their last trip.

Out of these, 62 per cent used review websites and 49 per cent used social media platforms, such as Twitter (17 per cent) and Facebook (61 per cent).

Others sourced information from a travel agent (33 per

Holiday connections

TNTMAGAZINE.COM MOST POPULAR DESTINATIONS 1 England 2 Spain 3 Turkey 4 Croatia 5 France

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cent), word of mouth (26 per cent) and travel guides (19 per cent).

Almost all respondents (96 per cent) said that their research affected where they went on holiday.

A sunshine.co.uk rep said that social media allows people to get advice from those they know and trust.

1 Egypt 2 Europe 3 Morocco 4 Italy 5 Oktoberfest powered by

FREE ONLINE GUIDES Go to tntmagazine.com/ travel for travel guides on more than 170 destinations.

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ON THE ROAD

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

CALGARY STAMPEDE

TRAVEL

Calgary, Canada, July 8-17 The world’s elite cowboys compete in a range of events including rodeo, chuckwagon racing and dog racing. Wear a cowboy hat and check out the ‘Indian Village’ to remind yourself who was there first.

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» cs.calgarystampede.com

MARRAKECH POPULAR ARTS MARRAKECH, MOROCCO, JULY 1-9 WHAT: If you’re looking for

» visitmorocco.com

TNT online For more upcoming events, see our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

WITH FRANKIE MULLIN

LOCK IT IN NOWHERE Zaragoza, Spain July 5-10 goingnowhere.org

FESTIVAL OF GIANTS Douai, France July 10-12 northernfrance-tourism.com

CAMEL CUP NAADAM Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia July 11-13 The ‘three games of men’ is a wrestling, horse racing and archery competition which women were only recently allowed to take part in. If you don’t drink fermented mares’ milk, you’re a big wuss.

» mongoliatourism.gov.mn

Where in the world?

Alice Springs, Australia July 14 camelcup.com.au

BASTILLE DAY France July 14 francetourism.com

GION MATSURI Kyoto, Japan July 17 jnto.go.jp

THE TRAVELLER …

Harry Scott, 36, Brisbane, Australia Best place you’ve been?

Macau, China, it’s called the Las Vegas of the East. We did the casino stuff but there’s also loads of history from when it was colonised by France.

Best party city?

Brydie O’Connell and friends from New Zealand, on the way to the London Sevens.

WIN

Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

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Berlin. The whole place is really laidback and conducive to have a few drinks.

And nudity’s allowed in the parks so there are naked people everywhere.

Favourite place in London?

Borough Market.

Getty Images

a short, intense dose of the “exotic” then look no further.

The Djemaa el-Fna square will be chocka with fortunetellers, snake-charmers, sword-swallowers, firebreathers, drumming, dancing and food. The celebration of Maghrebi culture is spectacular and you’ll have enough pictures and travel stories to bore your mates with forever.

WHERE: Festivities centre around the Palais el-Badi, the ruins of a 16th century palace.

DO IT BECAUSE: It’ll be satisfyingly different from your London rut. Don’t miss the Fantasia, a choreographed display of military horses.

ON THE ROAD

TOP FIVE

FIVE LATIN PARTY HANGOUTS JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE TO LATIN AMERICAN FUN SALVADOR, BRAZIL WHAT: Salvador is the ultimate party city, with its streets throbbing 24-7 to African drum beats and its central squares full of displays of capoeira, performed by buff men in white trousers.

Historic centre, Pelourinho, is abuzz with bars and clubs pumping out samba. Drink caipirinhas, made with sugar, lime and cachaca.

SEE: braziltour.com

1

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TRINIDAD, CUBA WHAT: The colonial city of Trinidad is like a living museum with its cobbled streets and vintage cars. Enjoy Mojitos and Cuba Libres at Casa de la Musica, an open-air live music venue which offers nightly entertainment and salsa dancing.

SEE: cubaldn.com

CALI, COLOMBIA WHAT: Colombia’s third largest city is the world capital of salsa, boasting almost 200 schools and 80 orchestras, as well as a surfeit of steamy clubs full of gorgeous (and siliconenhanced) locals, where you can try out your moves.

SEE: colombia.travel

2

3

BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA WHAT: Tango displays can be seen all over the city, particularly in the clubs of hip artists’ district San Telmo.

Enjoy a dinner and tango show in the back room at Cafe Tortoni, the world’s oldest coffee shop.

SEE: visitargentina.co.uk

4

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL WHAT: Wild and sexy, Rio is a hedonist’s paradise all year round (not just during Carnaval in February). Head to Lapa on a Friday and Saturday night where you’ll find street stalls serving up tasty cocktails, and sizzling bars and clubs aplenty.

SEE: braziltour.com Thinkstock, Getty Images, TNT Images

5

THE INSIDER GIOVANNA GENTILE, PR EXECUTIVE, HOSTELBOOKERS.COM My favourite place in the world is Rome. Nowhere else will you find such a unique combination of history, religion, art and culture.

It has ancient ruins, religious landmarks, famed museums and remarkable public squares – not to mention the

wonderful food! I also love Paris for its romance.

My most challenging travel experience was driving in Bosnia-Herzegovina soon after the civil war and being stopped continually by the police.

The first ever big trip was to amazing Sydney, Brisbane and the Gold Coast.

I always pack the bare minimum, plus my iPod and books.

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ROCK STARS Wander through Cappadocia’s fairy chimneys and be transported back in time WORDS NELLIE HUANG

BIG TRIP Cappadocia TURKEY

A

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mid the whimsical fairy chimneys and rock caves, it is hard to tell which planet I’m on. Conical-shaped rock formations poke out into the vermillion skies against a backdrop of volcanic peaks and red-rose cliffs. Gazing out at the unworldly landscapes, I imagine this to be the land of hobbits and elves.

Such edgy landscape has long been a trademark of Cappadocia, the ancient region of Anatolia in central Turkey. There is nowhere else like it in the world: deserts studded with thousands of hoodoos, multi-coloured cliffs and staggering rock spires resembling scenes from outer space. Much of Cappadocia lies on a high plateau of more than 1000m in altitude, pierced by numerous volcanic peaks – which are perfect conditions for such peculiar geology.

71

CAVE INN That evening, I catch the sunset atop the cliffs surrounding Göreme village – just a short hike from my cave hotel. I’m surprised to find myself

NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO April-mid June and September-October are the best time to travel for pleasant weather.

Cappadocia is generally cooler than the coastal area.

GETTING THERE Fly from Heathrow to Kayseri via Istanbul on Turkish Airlines (return fares from £345).

ACCOMMODATION Room rates at Göreme House Hotel start from £60 including breakfast and tax (goremehouse.com). Hot-air ballooning and tours can be arranged with the hotel.

SEE tourismturkey.org

Get amongst it in Istanbul

Mount Nemrut

TURKEY’S TOP ANCIENT SITES ANCIENT CITY OF ESPHESUS

I wake to “ a million-dollar

view in Göreme

Indulge in some amazing riding

”

alone, with no one in sight besides the dramatic panorama. There is silence except for the occasional squawk of a pigeon. I sit with my legs dangling above the ledge of the viewpoint, savouring the precious moment.

As dusk sets in, I trek back down the slopes to the Göreme House Hotel. Part cave part house, the atmospheric abode is a restored Anatolian house constructed out of natural stone from Cappadocia.

Staying at this family run guesthouse is an experience in itself – not just for the hospitable staff and rustic cave interior, but for the million-dollar view from my window. The Göreme cliffs are the last thing I see at night and the first thing I wake up to in the morning.

SIMPLY GORGE-OUS The next day, I venture out into the valleys with Halis, the hotel manager

MOUNT NEMRUT

who volunteers to be my guide for the day. Our first stop: Pigeon Valley, a deep, entrenched gorge mapped with a network of hiking trails and biking paths. From above, it looks like a giant maze segmented by eroded towers.

We meet a group of Austrians on a biking holiday in Cappadocia. “We’ve gone biking in many parts of the world, but this must be one of the most amazing places we’ve ridden in,” they say.

GOING UNDERGROUND Continuing our journey further south, the rugged landscapes begin to give way to flat green lands. Beige cliffs are replaced by extensive wineries and pumpkin fields.

At the Kaymakli village, we stop to visit the largest underground city in Cappadocia, an UNESCO site dating back to the 4th century. We navigate narrow tunnels and steep rock-cut stairways to explore the three storeys of living areas, stables and churches.

“This underground city was built by early Christians as a refuge during the

ISTANBUL

TURKEY

tntmagazine.com

Cappadocia

At the summit of this 2134m-tall mountain in south-eastern Turkey lie large stone statues believed to have been erected by King Antiochus in 62BC. These statues of the king, animals and Greek gods were assumed to be part of a royal tomb, which were deliberately destroyed by Iconoclasts.

The heads of the statues are now scattered throughout the UNESCO World Heritage site.

TROY ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE The city of Troy, both factually and legendary, was located in northwestern Turkey, and now its archaeological site is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Troy is best known for being the focus of the Trojan War as depicted in Homer’s book ‘Iliad’. The archaeological site lies within the province of Çanakkale where the “wooden horse” from the 2004 movie Troy is exhibited.

PAMUKKALE HIERAPOLIS Perched on top of the white travertine pools of Pamukkale, the impressive remains of the ancient GrecoRoman city Pamukkale feature Romanera ruins, a poisonous spring called Plutonium and a thermal Sacred Pool in which you can swim with ancient artifacts. Located in the Denizli province of Southwestern Turkey, the Hierapolis was believed to have been founded by the god Apollo.

gototurkey.co.uk, Nellie Huang

Pamukkale

Explore the Byzantine churches of the Soganli valley

As one of the most important ancient sites in Turkey, this sprawling city near Selçuk features well-preserved ruins including the iconic Library of Celsus, the massive amphitheatre and the marketplace. It was once the second largest city of the Roman Empire, with a population of about 250,000 people.

TRAVEL 73

Istanbul Mini Stay » 3 Day from £189 Istanbul Mini Stay » 4 Day from £279 Gallipoli & Troy Getaway » 5 Day from £359 Aegea Delight » 8 Day from £399

UK Local Call: 020 7099 2077

www.feztravel.com

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Nellie Huang, Getty Images

Pigeon Valley in Cappadocia

ON A HIGH Hot-air ballooning above Cappadocia at sunrise induces both a sensory and superlative overload: the kaleidoscope of colours, the wispy clouds that hang low, the patchworks of green groves and brown valleys make me buzz deliriously.

Cappadocia is one of the best hot-air ballooning spots in the world, thanks to its strangely unique landscape and favourable weather conditions. Halis,

who is also a hot-air balloon pilot, lifts us off into the cyan skies. Rising languidly above the fairy chimneys, we drift further away from terra firma and closer to the clouds.

Below me, hundreds of hot-air balloons dominate the skyline of Cappadocia. I feel as if I’ve entered Narnia – a fantasy world.

TRAVEL

religious persecution. Based on the sheer size of it, it must have supported a large population underground,” explains Halis.

The drive further south is bewitchingly beautiful, yet worlds apart. Vast fields of apricot groves flank the road before it corkscrews into a meandering canyon.

Villages topped by rock-cut churches stand atop undulating slopes. This is the Soganli valley, best known for its numerous Byzantine cave churches and artwork. “This is one of my favourite places in Cappadocia to bring visitors to,” Halis says. “It’s the least crowded area, and off the tourist trail.” He’s right – we’ve left civilization behind and gone back in time.

75

NEXT WEEK: SAILING AWAY Float around the Greek Islands

Grab a bargain in the Grand Bazaar

CULTURAL FIX: ISTANBUL In Istanbul ancient mosques and souks are just a bridge away from soaring skyscrapers, uber-chic bars and boutiques. I take a crash course in Turkish culture with Istanbul local, Haty.

■ TEA TIME After playing hopscotch around Istanbul’s main sights – the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sofia and Basilica Cistern, we indulge in the Turks’ favourite pastime: tea-drinking. In Sultanahmet, Haty brings me to the famous teahouse, Dervi Aile Çay Bahçesi.

Sipping steamy çay and smoking nargileh (water pipes), we lounge on cosy cane chairs and watch people play backgammon in its leafy courtyard. I can easily see why they’re hooked on tea-drinking.

Ever since the 18th century, tea has been fundamental to Turkish social life. Haty tells me why: “There is a Turkish saying that goes, ‘Caysiz sohbet, aysiz gok yuzu gibidir’.”

Conversations without tea are like a night sky without the moon. Indeed.

■ SOUK IT AND SEE Next, we head to the Grand Bazaar to conquer Istanbul’s world famous souk. Under dome-shaped ceilings, alleys are lined with rows upon dizzying rows of jewellery, pottery and carpet stalls. Blinding light and colours from the lantern shops heighten my scenes while the smell of perfume hypnotises me into a trance.

Mmm.. tea Scents waft from bread

ovens and kebab stands leading me deeper into the labyrinth – until I reach the succession of antique stores where a brass bowl catches my attention.

“In Turkey, you have to bargain, no matter what you buy,” Haty warns. “200Lira for the pretty lady,” the cheeky bearded vendor says, via Haty’s translation. I heed Haty’s advice and after five minutes, we settle for half of the original price he offered and leave with a bowl in hand and smiles on our faces.

■ SCRUB DOWN

Haty guides me into Sultanahmet Hamami Turkish bath, in the historic district of Sultanahmet. “The Turkish bath has been a tradition in the Arabic culture since the 14th century; today it is still very much part of modern day Turkey. I often come here with friends to hang out and relax,” says Haty.

Inside, I meet my tellak: a stern middle-aged woman, with scrub in hand and sweat dripping off her flushed face. She demands I strip off my red-and-white cloth. Uh oh… I’m left stark naked. After motioning for me to lie on the large marble stone in Take a Turki sh bath the centre of the room, she slaps a bucket of hot foam water on to my body before scrubbing me from head to toe with a firmness that edges towards brutality.

Haty sniggers as she watches my tortured expression. But as shocking as the scrub experience is, by the end of it, I am feeling refreshed and elated, and as light and giddy as a balloon.

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■ 7 Nights

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■ Camping – 4 Days £159, 5 Days £174, 6 Days £189 ■ Hostel - 4 Days £289 ✔ Magical beaches ✔ Private transfers into Pamplona

PAMPLONA – HOTEL: 5-8 JUL £329 ✔ Luxury hotel accommodation ✔ Do it in style!

2-8 JUL £349 3-8 or 5-10 JUL £239 5-11 JUL £369

COACH TOURS: 6, 7 & 8 Day Tours ex-London fr £279

✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Trstenik ✔ Korcula ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac Cat A: JUN £389 JUL £389-£439 AUG £469-£499 Cat A+: JUL £399-£469 AUG £439-£499 SEP £439 ✔ Top quality boats, unbeatable prices ✔ Select your room & boat when you book ✔ Experienced Fanatics rep on board every tour ✔ Package price includes fuel surcharges & port taxes ✔ Get more for your money with Fanatics in Croatia!

LA TOMATINA

BOARDMASTERS

TRANSFERS also available to/from Barcelona, Bilbao, Madrid and Lagos!

UK’S BIGGEST MUSIC, BEACH & SURF FESTIVAL! ■ Newquay, Cornwall

GREEK ISLANDS Tours start in Athens every Saturday JUL-AUG ✔ Mykonos ✔ Ios ✔ Santorini ✔ Paros ✔ Athens Amazing value! Package price includes: ✔ 8 or 10 Nights accommodation ✔ Breakfast daily ✔ High speed ferries between Athens & all the islands ✔ Experienced Fanatics Greek Islands tour reps ✔ Superb parties ✔ Unbeatable group atmosphere

PALIO SIENA ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL

15-18 AUG 15-24 AUG 15 AUG-1 SEP

12-14 AUG £179

✔ Huge line up featuring FATBOY SLIM! ✔ ASP world surfing tour event ✔ Watergate Bay Music Festival ticket ✔ Return coach from London

GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 DAYS fr £399 ■ 11 DAYS fr £499

■ Hostel Package ■ Palio to Rome All-Italia ■ Palio-Tomatina Odyssey

fr £389

The world ’s biggest food fight! 31 AUG ■ Beach Camping Package £139 ■ City Centre Hostels/Hotels £179/£169 ■ Barcelona + La Tom Double £259 ■ La Tom-Ibiza Combo Tours fr £359 ■ Barcelona, Ibiza, La Tom Treble £449

COMBO TOURS: ■ Barca Bulls Fiesta ■ San Seb + Pamps ■ Pamps + Ibiza

JUN-SEP

We sail Croatia’s best islands & route! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska

£149 £549 £979

✔ Florence ✔ Venice ✔ Milan ✔ Pisa ✔ Rome ✔ Siena ✔ Barcelona ✔ Ibiza ✔ La Tomatina ✔ Palio Festival

OKTOBERFEST MUNICH’S INCREDIBLE BEER FESTIVAL! 17 SEP-3 OCT ■ Weekend Camping £149 ■ Weekend Hostels fr £189 ■ Weekend Hotel £349 ■ Prague & Buda Fest 8 Day Tour £329 ■ London 6 Day Coach Tours fr £259 All weekend packages three nights Friday-Monday.

Mid-week camping & hostel options also available!

SKIFEST SPEND XMAS & NYE IN THE FRENCH ALPS! ■ 6 Days on the snow all-incl fr £599 ✔ Flight & coach travel ✔ Accom ✔ Ski pass & hire

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

tntmagazine.com

Floor, 15 New Row, Covent Garden, WC2N 4LD Mon - Fri 9am - 6pm

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EGYPT AND THE RED SEA Pharaohs adventure 6 days King Tutankhamen 9 days Egypt Unplugged 10 days King Ramses 13 days 5-star Jewel of the Nile 10 days

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Siwa to Alexandria 7 days Sandblaster 13 days Dunes & Tombs 17 days Beyond the Pyramids 12 days Nile Valley to Siwa Oasis 15 days

Why travel with ON THE GO t -FHFOEBSZ &HZQUPMPHJTU MPDBM HVJEFT t "MM PVS IPUFMT IBWF CFFO DIPTFO CZ VT BOE SBUFE PS TUBST t "JSQPSU USBOTGFST BMXBZT JODMVEFE t /P DPNQVMTPSZ ATJOHMF TVQQMFNFOU o XF DBO NBUDI ZPV VQ XJUI B USBWFM NBUF t /P MPDBM QBZNFOU t 8F WF FYQFSJFODFE UIF UPVST ĂśSTU IBOE TP XF LOPX XIBU XF SF UBMLJOH BCPVU

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*Last minute availability* for this week’s fabulous Royal Ascot meeting – call for last few seats!

TRAVEL

ROYAL ASCOT

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90

DON’T MISS OUT BEING AT THE UK’S MOST GLAMOROUS RACE MEETING – GREAT VALUE AND FUN DAY TOURS TO THE THREE TOP DAYS THIS WEEK! · LADIES DAY: Thurs June 16: £95 · CORO STAKES DAY: Fri June 17: £65 · FINALE DAY: Sat June 18: £79

✔ Luxury coach transport to Royal Ascot from London ✔ Bubbly provided on coach journey and at races ✔ Entrance provided to the Silver Ring Enclosure ✔ Grandstand upgrade option ✔ Superb buffet lunch served with your choice of quality red or white wine

PAMPLONA 2011

RUN THE BULLS WITH THE PAMPS EXPERTS – THE AMAZING OPENING CEREMONY NOW LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY: JULY 6!

NING OF THE BEST RUNTOURS THE BULLS RS! FOR 20 YEA

✔ Pamplona’s BEST camp – Estella ✔ Music, dancing, sangria, top facilities at our party camp ✔ Choice of dorms or camping ✔ Shuttles, breakfasts, t-shirts, exclusive parties & excursions ✔ 5, 6 or 7 day tours from from £249 ✔ Accom packages from from £119 ✔ Flying and transfer options ✔ Pamps/Bilbao BBK Live packages from just £89!

LA TOMATINA 2011

JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIEST AND LARGEST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WORLD 30 Aug - 1 Sept – great value tours from just £135!

✔ 3 or 4* hotels in superb central Valencia position ✔ Great breakfasts ✔ Welcome party ✔ Transfer to tomato fight Bunol ✔ Fully escorted by experienced PP guides ✔ Souviner t-shirt

OK TOB ERF EST 2011

COACH? CAMP? HOTEL? FLIGHT? The choice is yours!

We are the largest UK operator to Munich and cover the entire fest (17 Sept - 3 Oct) ✔ Coach tours from £199 ✔ Accom only camping from £99 ✔ Hotel packages from £209

info@pptravel.com 020 7930 9999

pptravel.com

(1991-2011): 20 years of great party tours!! tntmagazine.com

TRAVEL 91 TOURS

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Aegean Explorer 7 days Turkey Unplugged 10 days Remembrance Day 9 day Turkey Discovered 14 days

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On the Go Tours, 68 North End Road, West Kensington, London W14 9EP. ä˜ 100% On the Go Assurance.

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Sailing Split 8 days Cruise Dubrovnik 8 days On-board Opatija 8 days Dalmatian Discovery 8 days

ÂŁ299 ÂŁ369 ÂŁ369 ÂŁ449

FREE upgrades available from cost saver boat to classic!

www.onthegotours.com 020 7371 1113 Seasonal supplements may apply, see website for full details. Phone lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm. On the Go Tours, 68 North End Road, West Kensington, London W14 9EP. ä˜ 100% On the Go Assurance.

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TRAVEL TOURS

92

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TRAVEL 93 TOURS

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Marrakech & Beyond 8 days Marrakech Sahara & Surf 11 days Camels, Souks & Kasbahs 15 days Migration of the Berber 11 days

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Gorillas in the Mist 6 days Gorilla & Game Trek 15 days Wildlife Express 22 days Big Five Explorer 36 days Kenya to Cape 43 days

ÂŁ430 ÂŁ720 ÂŁ729 ÂŁ1385 ÂŁ1419

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94

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TRAVEL

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GROUP TOURS

Simply St. Pete’s 4 days £249 £429 Vodka Shot 6 days Back in the USSR 7 days £629 Russian Revolution 9 days £699

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Passage to Petra 6 days Totally Jordan 8 days Road to Jordan 16 days Arabian Highway 11 days Road to Damascus 14 days

www.onthegotours.com 020 7371 1113 Seasonal supplements may apply, see website for full details. Phone lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm. On the Go Tours, 68 North End Road, West Kensington, London W14 9EP. ä˜ 100% On the Go Assurance.

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TRAVEL

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WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS SPECIAL EVENT TOURS

£55

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TAKE THAT AMSTERDAM

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CARTIER INTERNATIONAL POLO

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OVERNIGHT TOURS Hilton Overnight - Southern England

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CYCLING IN THE NEW FOREST

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We pickup from Ealing every Friday evening at 6:30pm.

Our trips are great for groups of mates, singles or couples HORSE RIDING Ride all day over the Brecon Beacons national park, suitable for first timers or experienced. We ride over mountains and ancient Roman bridleways, it’s probably the best ride in the UK, with great scenery. The sore ass is on us and guaranteed, but we’ll put muscle soak in the hot tub for you. £195 HILL WALKING On the Brecon beacons national park £135.

Or you can just chill FLY FISHING All tackle supplied, you just fish all day .£165 ACCOMODATION has 2 double rooms, dorms & open log fire. It also has a large covered hot tub next to a river with music. At night you can party all you like, with big late breakfast on Sunday. Our food is home made and cooked by a pro.

Phone 01874 636170 open till 10pm.

100 TOURS | INSURANCE

Weekday trips also can be arranged, Sunday to Friday, good for teachers

Included in all prices are return transport, 2 nights accommodation, all food and activity. There are absolutely NO hidden extras.

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Hampstead Nannies Live In/Daily Nannies, Mother's Helps, Housekeepers, Mat Nurses Barkat House 116-118 Finchley Road London NW3 5HT Finchley Road

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food/drink Edinburgh’s ONLY South African bar has opened in Leith. A unique, stylish bar with something for everyone, delivered by experience and friendly staff. As expected we stock a large range of South African beers, wines, ciders and snacks, including a classic selection of cocktails and Dom Pedro’s.

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general employment

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K West Hotel Bar, May 28:

114

You approached me randomly while I was having a ciggie.

I’m a 30-year-old Kiwi brunette who works in Hackney. You said you were a risk analyst from Gisborne and had lived here for seven years. I was too sober and shy to ask for your details, and only know you work out at the K West Gym – I still owe you a drink and a dance or whatever else you fancy. Bernie. Email me at berniesimonsenuk01@ hotmail.com.

To the tall dark and handsome guy with a ratty:

I‘ve noticed you many times at the She Bu Walkie but have been too shy to say anything.

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Hope to catch up with you there. From Shy Girl 69.

Furry face at the Vesbar on Sunday, May 28: Thanks for

the pash, Ned Kelly, but let me know where to find you so I can send you the £30 bill for the treatment for the friction burn on my face. I feel like a pretty swan who turned into a crusty cane toad after kissing a not very handsome prince. Ever washed that facial beaver? Rashed up.

Singletons unite: Can anyone tell us where single 30-38-year olds hang out on Friday nights? I have two gorgeous single girlfriends – intelligent, fun, low-maintenance. But it seems like everybody we meet who is over 30 is married! Chrissie, via tntmagazine.com/forums.

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com To my juicy wiener Karlie:

Happy 23rd birthday! I’m so excited to be travelling with you, someone who appreciates £1 soup, vouchers/coupons/ discounts, an Irish accent, vodka, the sun, block-ofchocolate-a-night weeks, night buses, hungover-coffee-peoplewatching, PDAs, a window seat on the bus, Maxallon, KTown Delight kebabs and the value of online friends as much as I do. I can’t wait for our three-month Mediterranean adventure and to set a new AFD record. Love you, G-banger. Georgia, via tntmagazine.com/forums To the team at 45a, where is my beer bong?!: C’mon the

joke is over. I want to pour sweet, sweet amber nectar down my throat this weekend so hand it over. It’s not my fault Lanie went crazy after three in a row and ended up shagging Dave’s cousin in Lucy’s bed. You’ve all had your time with the mighty King Bong – you know the magic it brings – so GIVE IT BACK!! Graham Going home overland: My visa expires the end of next month so I was thinking of

love romance friendship... tntmagazine.com

Reward for stolen Rolex:

I was mugged at Clapham Common for a stainless steel Rolex Oyster Perpetual with a slightly scratched hard plastic face. The back cover does not have the traditional Rolex crown on it as it was replaced a number of years ago. The watch is not worth that much in a monetary sense, but it has huge sentimental value as it belonged to my dad for 32 years before he gave it to me last year. I will pay, with no questions asked and no interference from the law, £1000 in cash to anyone who finds this watch for me with whatever means possible. This is a genuine offer, worth at least twice the market value of the watch. Email red_in_ london@yahoo.com.au.

To the city of non-stop

Desperately Seeking is a reader forum, and all messages should be within the spirit of the page; TNT cannot take responsibility for offence caused. No phone numbers can be printed. Messages may be edited for publication. See tntmagazine.com/seeking

If you’re looking for

or just

an interesting way to get back to Australia: London to St Petersburg (maybe via Berlin on the train?), St Petersburg to Moscow and Moscow to Beijing via the Trans-Siberian, making various stops along the way – South-East Asia and possibly Bali. Anybody keen?

Yaz, via tntmagazine.com/ forums

shenanigans: From Big Ben to Little Venice, Willesden Green and all in between. To a ski trip that led to a life less ordinary and a fateful Aussie day where steak was eaten by the hand. A snow day that began a European Odyssey – thanks to Retard Air and Sleazy Jet – Monday mornings were never the same. To liver damage in the Gherkin, random nights out, sayings in the rain and drunk cab rides home. To hallway d&ms and friends through thick and thin.

Here’s hoping the adventure is only starting. Australia, here we come! Kylie and Jane.

A bang piece: George, you’re right – absolute starfish.

Cheers for the loan. Steveo The girl with the ‘You killed Kenny’ t-shirt who took me back to hers in in Acton: Can’t

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Care package wanted:

No-one cares enough to send me a package, so does anyone have any Nutri-Grain/ Redskins/Mars Bar Pods/ Monte Carlo biscuits/Coon cheese/Solo they want to bring to my picnic? I’ll return the favour. Prince.

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