TNT Magazine / Issue 1454 by TNT Magazine

Live, Work & Travel

July 11-17 2011 Issue 1454 tntmagazine.com

!O IN W T LIGHTS

F R A SUMME Y GETAWA

On the right trek

Ethical adventures in Nepal TINTIN AND THE SILVER SCREEN Hergé’s vision gets the Spielberg treatment

BECOME AN ART BUFF

£1 where sold

Discover London’s vibrant galleries

■ PLUS: THE PHONE-HACKING SCANDAL - WHO’S TO BLAME?

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Front Cover: Getty Images

EDITOR’S LETTER When travelling, it feels good to do something to help the locals, rather than just strolling through their land, taking what you want. On page 70, TNT guides you on an ethical adventure through Nepal. You’ll leave with a good vibe about yourself. Speaking of clean consciences, just where does the buck stop in the NotW phone-hacking scandal? We explore this on page 38. Then, unwind at a night-time movie in London. On page 10 we showcase the best after-dark venues the capital has to offer. Enjoy!

70 Quite the hike: ethical travel through Nepal

55 TRAVEL

14 In the frame: your guide to understanding art

55 Global Vision 56 BARGE IN: Float your way around the UK’s waterways 58 Late Deals 61 TNTT Weekender: Bournemouth 62 Hotshots 64 CITY OF STYLE: Explore Portugal’s colourful capital, Lisbon 66 Travel Tips 67 Travel News 68 On The Road 69 Top Five 70 THE RIGHT PATH: Help the locals while you trek through Nepal

36 NEWS & SPORT

102 CLASSIFIEDS

36 World News 38 THIS IS THE NEWS: The fall-out from the phone-hacking scandal 41 News opinion: Just a bad rap 42 Sport of the week 45 Sport opinion: A big waste of time 46 THE SILLY SEASON: Brace yourself for the EPL transfer circus

102 Freight 108 Classifieds 113 Accomodation

CAROL DRIVER

8 LONDON 8 London Life 10 NIGHT VISION: London’s best after-dark cinema spots 12 Food & Drink 14 MATTERS OF THE ART: Get familiar with London’s top galleries 16 Spotted 18 Silly Buggers

21 ENTERTAINMENT 21 22 23 24 25 26

Celebrity News TNT Life Look Who’s Talking: Joe Washbourn Cinema Culture THE APPEAL OF TINTIN: Hergé’s vision realised after 30 years

28 MUSIC & CLUBS 28 32 34 35

Music Music Listings Clubbing Listings Clubbing

26 A 30-year adventure: Tintin hits the big screen

48 CAREERS & MONEY 48 Job Of The Week 49 Careers 50 LEARN WHILE YOU EARN: Gain qualifications while you work 52 Money

REGULARS 46 Barcelona-bound: Cesc Fabregas

4 6 30 114

Letters Wins Wins Desperately Seeking 38 Who’s to blame: Rupert Murdoch’s role in the phone-hacking scandal

YOUR SAY... EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Content editors: Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Travel Janine Kelso Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

Tell us what you think at facebook.com/ tntmag or tweet @tntmagazine

Iran continues its persecution

I read Tom Sturrock’s column ‘Mullets and Mullahs on collision course’ (TNT 1453). Tom is right about the heavy-handedness of the government in Iran, in particular towards people from South Azerbaijan. The 32 million of us are a very peaceful ethnic group, but the racist Islamic Persian government persecutes our peaceful activists, our women and our children. They put them in prison with out any charge, they rape them and they hang them in front of us. Even the green movement doesn’t recognise the rights of the South Azerbaijanis. So, once again, thank you for shedding on just light how oppressive the Iranian government is. Atakishi Yashar, via email

Iran: apparently far less fun than it looks

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NEW You can now text us your thoughts: Text TNT and your message to 81707* THE FOX’S REACH IS FAR AND WIDE To all of the people who reacted in horror to the News of the World scandal and screamed they were going to boycott everything Murdoch touches: were you really going to stop watching The Simpsons and not see movies produced by 20th Century Fox? Pffft. Marley Roberts, via email

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STAND UP AND YOU WILL BE COUNTED Many a gig I’ve missed before, many a gig disappointed, Not able to hang with the crew, and head bang it out till the end, But then I found liberation, in the size of a pint plastic cup, If all of the boys can do it, why can I not? The most liberating experience, to stand up and pee in a cup, Never to miss out again. Never, I swear you not. Stormey Devine, via email

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Entertainment

Interview

Martin Andrews

Edinburgh Festival

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

LONDON LIFE

TNT’S PHOTO PHOENIX

Sidney Poitier, 1965

David Bowie, 1973

Bridget Bardot, 1965

John Lennon, 1965

TNT Images, Duffy, published by ACC Editions, © Duffy Archive

PREVIEW: DUFFY Here’s an exhibition that’s truly risen from the ashes. During the Sixties Duffy was one of London’s most talented and well-known photographers – eventually becoming almost as famous as the entertainers he shot. But in 1979, at the height of his career, he took the majority of his photographic work into his back garden and set it on fire, saying he had achieved all he could through the medium. This exhibition features more than 160 images tenaciously collected by Duffy’s son during years

Travel

of searching through archives and publications around the world. The collection of rare and unseen works features movie stars Michael Caine, Brigitte Bardot and Sidney Poitier; musicians David Bowie, Debbie Harry and John Lennon; Sixties pin-ups Jean Shrimpton and Joanna Lumley; writer William Burroughs and many more. Check it out – it came very close to never happening.

» Idea Generation Gallery, Liverpool Street or E2 7JB Old Street (ideageneration. co.uk). Until August 28. Free

Big Trip

Morocco

Spain

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Ireland tour Guidebooks DVD Clubbing tickets A three-day tour of Scotland Photography course Cash and guidebooks A trip to Bath and Stonehenge

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LONDON LIFE

WHAT’S ON Tom Sturrock PICKS THE BEST OF LONDON THIS WEEK

LONDON

SHOREDITCH FESTIVAL FREE WHAT: East London’s canals and the nearby parks and walkways will be thronging with live music, street markets and live music. The east end can sometimes be a bit grey and dreary, so it’s a rare joy to see it so animated and alive. WHEN: July 15-24 DO IT BECAUSE: The Shoreditch Festival is one of the most successful regenerations of urban centres. It’s also hilarious to watch the skinny-jean brigade flaking out in the heat, having bravely ventured from the safety of their dimly lit lofts.

» Regent’s Canal and surrounding areas between Shoreditch Park and Victoria Park

Rowing: perfect when you don’t have to do the work

Capital idea: The Serpentine Hyde Park can be a bit desolate during the winter months – even during autumn and late spring, to be honest. But it makes up for that during the height of summer, when it brims with happy Londoners soaking up the sun or lounging in the dappled shade between the park’s trees. And, in the middle of it all is the Serpentine lake. You can can go for a swim at the lido or take out one of the pedalos from the boat club. For nine months of the year, this is

strictly the province of the diehards, but in the middle of July, it’s a perfect way to spend a balmy afternoon. If you’re feeling a bit more sedate, you can head to the Serpentine gallery or just get fed and watered at the bar and grill. Take the opportunity while it’s there. Come September, it’ll be feezing once again. TS

Old Street (shoreditchfestival.org.uk).

DYLAN MORAN FROM £20

DESIGNS OF THE YEAR £8

The perpetually crumpled Irish comedian, of Black Books fame, brings his ascerbic stand-up to the stage.

Check out the most forwardthinking designs from around the world, taking in fashion, furniture, graphics, interactive, transport and architecture.

» HMV Apollo, Queen

» Design Museum, Shad

Caroline St, W6 9QH Hammersmith (venues. meanfiddler.com). Jul 14-16

Thames, SE1 2YD Waterloo (designmuseum.org). Until Aug 7

» Hyde Park, London W2 2UH Lancaster Gate (serpentine swimmingclub.com).

Dylan Moran: perpetually crumpled

BRITAIN EXPLAINED LONDON BY NUMBERS

700

Source: london.gov.uk

Live Aid remains a landmark event in the annals of rock history and, in particular, in the music industry’s sense of itself and its ability to transcend mere entertainment. It was this week in 1984 that Bob Geldof (right), the scruffy former lead singer of the Boomtown Rats, organised the world’s biggest rock festival to raise money for Africans stricken by drought and famine. Described as ‘the

Woodstock of the 80s’, Live Aid was held at Wembley stadium, while another concert was held in Philadelphia. Headline acts

in London included Status Quo, Dire Straits, Wham and David Bowie, while Paul Simon, Bob Dylan and the Beach Boys performed on the other side of the Atlantic. Live Aid raised £40m and Geldof urged concert-goers: “Don’t go to the pub tonight. Please stay in and give us your money. There are people dying now.” Geldof was knighted the following year. TS

Getty Images

Approximate number of routes travelled by London’s buses

BOB GELDOF AND LIVE AID

Shoreditch: so hot in skinny jeans

BLAZE PRICES VARY The Barbican’s annual celebration of world music has a few weeks left to run, so head down and catch something a little bit different. The Latin and Middle Eastern programmes are particularly interesting this year.

INNOVATION STATION FREE Inspect the Nissan Leaf, the world’s first mass-market 100 per cent electric car, while honing your skills behind the wheel on a range of hi-tech driving simulators. Don’t forget to take the handbrake off.

» Silk St, EC2Y 8DS

» The O2, Peninsula Square,

Barbican (barbican.org.uk). Until July 29

SE10 0DX North Greenwich (theo2.co.uk).

Elija Star

Ready to Blaze: Hugh Masakela

BASTILLE DAY CELEBRATIONS FREE

LONDON ZOO LATES FROM £18

France’s national day marks the storming of the Bastille and the birth of La Republique – it’s also a great excuse to drink too much champagne, eat too many crepes and enjoy the vibe on Bankside.

You can now head to the zoo on a Friday night, when the usual animal attractions are replaced by outdoor eating and drinking, as well as a silent disco to avoid scaring the other inhabitants.

» 32 Southwark Bridge Rd,

» London Zoo, Regent’s Park,

SE1 9EU London Bridge (visitbankside.com). July 14

London, NW1 4RY Camden Town (zsl.org). Until Jul 29

CINEMATASTIC Summer isn’t complete without a film-under-the-stars experience WORDS REBECCA KENT

Stunning: Somerset House hosts the Film4 Summer festival

e it on the roof of a pub, or the grounds of a cemetery, outdoor film screens are cropping up in increasingly bizarre places. But don’t just clamour for novelty while ignoring the classic outdoor venues – each ‘theatre’ offers a unique experience. Here, TNT picks some of the best.

FLOATING CINEMA Drift into short-film heaven with The Floating Cinema. The water-based picture

house is navigating the canals of Olympic host boroughs in the east, along the River Lea. Take a picnic and get aboard the barge.

car and tune your radio to the site’s frequency. July’s line-up includes Shrek, Dirty Dancing, Up and Moulin Rouge.

» Various times and locations. Until

» North Weald Airfield, 34 Lancaster Rd,

September 18. Bookings not required. Free. (floatingcinema.info)

North Weald Bassett, Essex, Epping CM16 6HR. Fri-Sun site opens 6.30pm, screening 8.30pm. £8. (driveinmoviesuk.co.uk).

THE DRIVE-IN MOVIE EXPERIENCE Replicating the trappings of an allAmerican drive-in, this Essex cinema simply requires you to turn up in your

Spooky: keep one eye out for ghosts at the Nunhead Cemetery

MIDSUMMER NIGHT SCREEN Perched atop a roof in East London, this outdoor cinema includes a bar serves themed cocktails, and a Turkish barbecue. Dark comedy The Virgin Suicides will be showing, preceded by an independent short film.

» Dalston Roof Garden, 18 Ashwin St, E8 3DL The Nunhead Cemetery

Dalston Junction. Jul 22 6.30pm-11pm. £6, adv £5. (bootstrapcompany.co.uk)

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Helen Jermyn

FOLLY FOR A FLYOVER Transforming the cavernous undercroft where the motorway crosses the Lea Navigational Canal, Folly for a Flyover is hosting a programme of waterside

WHAT TO BRING

Night vision: the Nomad Pop-up Cinema

Pulp Fiction at Syon Park

cinema, including Flash Gordon, Toy Story and Wizard of OZ.

» Under the A12 Flyover, E9 5HW Hackney Wick. Until Jul 31. 8.30pm £4. Tickets on sale Thursday one week before, at 11am. (follyforaflyover.co.uk)

THE NUNHEAD FILM FESTIVAL A classic film, chosen by an online poll, will be projected onto a large screen in the heart of a Victorian cemetery, so you can watch a flick among the ghosts of some of the most eminent citizens of the gothic era. Vote to see either The Third Man, The Ladykillers or Harold and Maude.

Getty Images, TNT Images

» Nunhead Cemetery, Linden Grove, SE15 3LW Nunhead Rail. Sep 9, 8pm. Free. (freefilmfestivals.org) NOMAD POP-UP CINEMA This roaming film event has perfected the art of cinema al fresco. Nomad pops up in places such as Kensington Gardens, Greenwich and Battersea Park, attracting wide-eyed audiences across the capital. Films including Fargo, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Thelma And Louise will be enhanced by theatre, music and dress-up.

» Various locations until Aug 15. Most screenings 9.15pm. £12.50 (whereisthenomad.com)

FILM4 SUMMER One of the capital’s most popular outdoor film events takes place in the stunning neo-classical courtyard of Somerset House. Among a host of films on the bill is the premiere of Pedro Almodóvar’s lauded new thriller, The Skin I Live In. For an extra cost, Behind The Screen provides the chance to watch directors’ talks one hour before the films. This includes a drink and and an exclusive seat for the film.

» Somerset House, Strand, WC2R 1LA Temple. July 27 to Aug 7. Screenings 9.15pm £14.50 + bf; double bills, triple bills and opening night £18. Behind The Screen £10 + bf. (somersethouse.org.uk)

CINEMA UNDER THE STARS The Duke of Northumberland offers his country estate for the viewing pleasure of the masses, with four nights of classic film screenings. In the historic gardens of Syon Park, catch Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, The King’s Speech and It’s Complicated.

» Syon Park, Brentford, Middlesex TW8 8JG Brentford Rail. August 18-21. £10. Screenings 9pm. (syonpark.co.uk)

QUEEN OF HOXTON ROOFTOP CINEMA The Rooftop Film Club will host classic, cult and recent films five nights a week. Tuesday is reserved for chick flicks, but there’s also a Wayne’s World double-header and, for foreign film buffs, the 1967 French classic Belle de Jour.

» The Queen of Hoxton, 1-5 Curtain Road, City of London, EC2A 3JX Shoreditch High Street. Until September. £9 + bf. (thequeenofhoxton.co.uk)

GREASE AT DULWICH PICTURE GALLERY Don’t just turn up to watch Grease. Deck yourself out in 1950s garb to win a prize. There will even be dancing lessons before the movie to help you along. Grease lightening, go grease lightening!

» Dulwich Picture Gallery, Dulwich SE21 West Dulwich Rail. £6 Aug 29. 7AD 8pm. (dulwichpicturegallery.org.uk)

ENGLISH HERITAGE VIEWING This magnificent neo-palladian villa, set in historic gardens, is hosting a double bill feautring Grease and Bridget Jones’s Diary.

» Chiswick House, Chiswick House Grounds, London, Middlesex W4 2RP. Chiswick Rail. September 7 and 8. Time and cost TBC. (chgt.org.uk)

Bridget Jones’s Diary at Chiswick House

LONDON

Remeber these things for a better outdoor cinema experience: ✔ A low-lying fold-up chair or inflatable ring to avoid a cold, sore bum ✔ A cagoule in case it rains. Carry an umbrella and you’ll be scorned ✔ A jumper to keep warm for when the sun goes down ✔ Toilet roll -for when the portaloos run out ✔ Sandwiches, drinks and snacks, but no glass objects

FOOD & DRINK

BAR REVIEW The Fire Station ★★★★★

LONDON

150 Waterloo Road, SE1 8SB thefirestationwaterloo.com Waterloo

THE SCENE Staff at this former fire station now rescue suited workers and theatre-goers from thirst, rather than cats from towering infernos. The punters here are

predominantly male, but there’s banter aplenty and most people willingly engage in a chat, which compensates for the venue’s lack of piquancy. THE GRUB Amply portioned bar snacks like nachos and wedges go down nicely with a beverage, and sharing platters are good for grazing if you’re watching sport. An

attached restaurant also serves food from breakfast through to dinner. BEHIND THE BAR Every kind of drinker is catered to, with local and European tap beers, ciders, wines and cocktails. BILL PLEASE Beers from £3.30 and snacks about £3.50 VERDICT Every wearying train commute should start here. REBECCA KENT

Restaurant review Nuntee Thai Cuisine ★★★★★

616 Fulham Road, SW6 5RP (020 7371 5754) Fulham Broadway

THE SCENE Peaceful Thai melodies float through the restaurant, the maroon decor promotes feelings of relaxation and the glowing candles at the table seem to represent the restaurant: a bright spot in this part of town. The tranquility here will melt any stress away. Attentive, knowledgeable and patient staff top off a dining experience that should cost the earth – but doesn’t. THE GRUB Tantalised by the aromas wafting from the kitchen, my party of four gets stuck right in. The starter platter for two (perfect thai fishcakes, fresh spring rolls – prawn and vegetable – and succulent chicken satays) is a prelude to greatness: the aromatic duck

ALL-YOU-CAN-EATS Rodizio Rico Passador carvers glide from table to table, slicing off an array of delicious meat until you can eat no more at this new Fuham restaurant. rodiziorico.com

pancakes are melt-in-the-mouth goodness. It’s crucial this dish becomes part of your experience. The mains – a hearty pad Thai; a tender lamb massaman; a sumptuous red chicken curry; and a zingy chickenand-holy-basil stirfry – are all fresh and right on the money.

BEHIND THE BAR Wine – articulately recommended – from £12.50 a bottle. BILL PLEASE Four meals and a bottle of wine for £65. Definite value for money. VERDICT This is Thai food of the highest quality. Book now. JAHN VANNISSELROY

2-4-1 NOW ONL Y £5

An array of delicacies, from hot and spicy Goan seafood dishes to tMoghlai kormas, as well as flavoursome North Indian kebabs and curries. bombaybrasserielondon.com

The Fire Station

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Select from delicious skewers from the robata grill and eat unlimited sashimi and sushi of the finest quality, by the Camden lock. hisushi.net

Bombay Brasserie

BURGERS AND MUCH MORE

GO TO TNTMAGAZINE.COM/LBB

Hi Sushi

LIMITED AVAILABILITY

LIVE AT SANDOWN PARK AN EXCLUSIVE EVENING OF MUSIC & RACING Wednesday 20 July 2011 ADULT TICKETS FROM £33* FIRST RACE 6.10PM LAST RACE 8.55PM MUSIC STARTS 9.00PM (APPROX) *Grandstand enclosure tickets booked in advance. Children aged 10-17 £18, aged 3-9 £8 & aged 0-2 FREE. Children must be accompanied by a paying adult.

HOSPITALITY PACKAGES FROM ONLY £99pp + VAT

Book now! www.sandown.co.uk

INSTANT ART BUFF

Art is no longer the preserve of snobby elitists. Explore London’s myriad galleries for your own slice of culture WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

hen Leonardo Da Vinci’s exhibition Painter At The Court Of Milan opens at the National Gallery in November it will attract a response usually reserved for film stars. Four months before the event, the gallery is encouraging fans to book tickets now, warning that only 180 people will be allowed entry each half-hour and there will be no time for stopping. That response shows just how important art is considered in 2011. But if you live in London and have never set foot in a gallery, according to Sam Phillips, author of The Art Guide: London and Julie Bennett, student at the Camberwell College of Art, there’s no need to feel intimidated.

1. KNOW WHERE TO START Out of the 300-plus galleries in the capital, Phillips recommends The Tate Modern. “Newcomers to art tend to find modern art more interesting and the Tate Modern has paintings by artists you’ll recognise,” he says. “If you’ve only seen posters of Dali, Picasso or Matisse’s work, standing in front of the real thing will be exciting.” Bennett says a lack of knowledge should not put you off. “Art that needs knowledge doesn’t work. An artist’s job is to portray something visually. If you need to read up on it first, then the artist has failed.”

Julie Bennett

Picasso’s The Three Dancers

3. MAKE YOURSELF SOUND CLEVER Want to up your art cred by the end of the week? Bennett recommends exploring what’s happening in 2011. “If you say your favourite artist is Monet or Dali, you’re showing yourself up,” she says. “You also need some contemporary names to throw around.” Phillips’s tip: “To be at the cutting edge of the art scene, visit some of east London’s independent commercial galleries. That will give you some decent bragging rights.”

Sam Phillips

» Sam Phillips’ The Art Guide: London £12.95, on sale now. See Julie Bennett’s work at juliebennett.co.uk.

2. SPOT A MASTERPIECE Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so if you enjoy a piece of art, then that’s sufficient. But there are ways to weed out the dross. Phillips advises asking yourself what the work is intended to do. “If you think an artist is trying to paint a portrait in a realistic manner, you can say it’s bad if it fails on those grounds,” he says. “However, if someone is trying to make a political statement, you can judge whether it is good on how convincingly it makes its point.”

Paul Gauguin’s Nevermore

THE BIG GALLERIES ■ The National Gallery Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN 020 7747 2885; nationalgallery.org.uk

ART MOVEMENTS EXPLAINED Every art style is represented in a gallery somewhere in London. Here’s a breakdown of a few you should see:

Abstract Art

This sometimes gets slagged off for looking as though your five-year-old nephew could paint it. But its intention is not to resemble a photo – in the late 1800s abstract art freed painters from the rules of realism and perspective. See Jackson Pollock’s glorious paintsplattered canvases in the Tate.

Cubism

Instead of painting objects from one angle, 20th Century cubists portrayed them from several simultaneously. The founder was Picasso, whose work you can see at the National Gallery.

John Everett Millais’ Ophelia

Impressionism

These paintings aim to capture how a scene or object looks when you only glimpse it. Paint is applied in small, shimmery touches of colour. The Courtauld Gallery has examples of this 1870s French movement, including Monet, Renoir, and post-impressionist Gauguin.

BP British Art Displays © Tate, Pawel Libera

■ FRANCIS BACON, THREE STUDIES FOR FIGURES AT THE BASE OF A CRUCIFIXION, 1944 (TATE BRITAIN). Francis Bacon’s triptych is based on the crucifixion and on the mythological Greek Furies; vengeful personifications of the anger of the dead. “This was Bacon’s breakthrough work,” Phillips says. “It was painted on the eve of

■ Tate Modern Park Street, Bankside, SE1 9TG 020 78878888; tate.org.uk/modern

Pre-Raphaelites

Founded in 1848 by a group of English painters and poets who wanted to return to the classical forms popular before the times of painter Raphael. Expect lots of beautiful women with flowing hair, possibly in a river. Visit the Tate Britain for examples such as Sir John Everett Millais’s Ophelia.

Pop Art

Andy Warhol was the most famous proponent and posters of his Coke bottles and Campbell’s soup tins have adorned many a student wall. The movement, born in the Fifties, was about giving the finger to establishment by turning everyday objects into art.

PICK OF THE BUNCH When we asked Phillips and Bennett to pick their all-time favourite piece in London, both our art experts chose the same painting. Now shame on you if you don’t go and see this.

■ Barbican Centre Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS 020 7638 4141; barbican.org.uk a ■ Tate Britain Millbank, SW1P 4RG 020 7887 8888; tate.org.uk/britain

the Second World War and seems to predict the horror of the conflict and the doubt in God and humanity that the war precipitated. “The painting is full of guts and hardcore painterly intent and it’s still shocking viewing today.” Bennett says: “Bacon’s technique, using heavy brush strokes and violent red for the background, reflects the subject matter.”

The White Cube Gallery, Hoxton

INDEPENDENT GALLERIES YOU SHOULD VISIT ■ The Approach 47 Approach Road, E2 9LY 020 8980 2321; theapproach.co.uk ■ Ancient & Modern 201 Whitecross Street, EC1Y 8QP 020 7253 4550; ancientandmodern. org ■ Sutton Lane 1 Sutton Lane, EC1M 5PU suttonlane.com ■ Gagosian Gallery 6-24 Britannia Street, WC1X 9JD 020 7841 9960; gagosian.com ■ Victoria Miro 6 Wharf Road, N1 7RW 020 7336 8109; victoria-miro.com ■ White Cube 48 Hoxton Sq, N1 6PB 020 7930 5373; whitecube.com

LONDON

■ Serpentine Gallery Kensington Gardens, W2 3XA serpentinegallery.org; 020 7402 6075

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LIFE EXHIBITION East Gallery, Brick Lane, Friday, July 1 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/TNT Images

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LONDON

SILLY BUGGERS

I’ve just started seeing a guy and I really like him. I definitely want it to develop into something serious but don’t want to come on too strong? What should I do?

The early stages of a relationship are like a high-stakes game of poker; it’s a competition to see which party appears least interested in the other. Whoever projects the most relentless, unstinting indifference is the winner and whoever blinks first the loser. You need to make sure you have your game-face in these crucial opening exchanges. If you come over all soppy and

TOOL OF THE WEEK Carry-out luggage

louder than a lawn mower. And the water boatman produces this extraordinary noise by playing his penis like a tiny fiddle, rubbing it against his tummy to serenade prospective partners. But after all this palaver, how often do you think the water boatman actually gets laid? If he’s playing his dick like a violin in order to get attention, he’s got to be pretty hard up. You should just stow talk of ‘getting serious’ and produce your A-game in the sack.

» Got a sex or relationship dilemma? Email dearreuben@ tntmagazine.com

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

Thinkstock, Getty Images

A woman has been caught trying to sneak her husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase after a conjugal visit. Staff at the prison in Chetumal noticed that the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a black, wheeled suitcase that looked bulky. Prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the foetal position. Haven’t they seen The Shawshank Redemption? It normally takes 20 years to escape from jail.

Be careful, you don’t needy, he’ll own you. Before want to go in guns you know it, you’ll be 50 years blazing. You might feel like old, ironing his underpants declaring your affection for while he sits naked on the this new guy, but you’re sofa, watching baseball and better off playing it cool. chewing tobacco, eating a TV Take, for example, the water dinner with his hairy fingers. boatman, a tiny insect that Ask yourself, is that the life inhabits ponds and slowyou want? flowing You’re better streams. off making Despite yourself less measuring available. just 2mm, Maybe start the water sleeping with boatman’s another guy mating call on the side, just reaches 99 so your eggs decibels, aren’t all in the The world’s smallest violin which is one basket.

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STAR SPOTTING

CELEBRITY NEWS ➩

Rebecca Kent WITH THE LATEST FROM THE WORLD OF SHOWBIZ Hands-on approach: Timberlake with Kunis

A GOOD WEEK FOR

Cathy Freeman, Australia’s Olympic golden girl, gave birth to her first child with stockbroker husband James Murch. Baby Ruby and alll are “beaming”.

➩

A BAD WEEK FOR

Ben Affleck apparently once dabbled in an illegal, high-stakes gambling ring and it’s coming back to haunt him. It’s alleged he owes £250k to movie mogul Ron Meyers after losing a poker game.

TNT Images; Getty Images

FUR ONCE AND FUR ALL Hiring a cat whisperer was at the top of Katie Perry’s to do list before embarking on her California Dreams tour. Perry was forced to call in a trainer when her cats, Krusty and Kitty Purry, and husband Russell Brand’s feline, Morrissey, got their claws out. “We hired a cat whisperer. He realigned their chakras and did some hypnosis. We were like, ‘Wow, this is extravagant’,’’ she told Us Weekly.

NEW ZEALAND Woman’s Weekly: Silver Fern netball stunners Irene van Dyk and Temepara George disclose the ‘secret weapons’ that got them to the netball championships in Singapore; Green Lantern actor Temuera Morrison discusses overcoming fears; and dancing nanna Melva Cummins busts the moves that made her a YouTube hit.

AUSTRALIA

JUST SEX CAN HURT Accept a role in a film called Friends With Benefits and invariably, you’ll get asked if sex with no strings attached is really that simple.

Thankfully, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, his co-star in the new film, were happy to give us their two bobs worth. Businessman and showbiz triple-threat Timberlake, on the assumption that a woman will always want more, thinks grossing her out is an acceptable gambit. “I had a date ask me one time if I had found God. I’m a

sick human being – I mean, I answered, ‘Yeah, he’s in my pants.’ “So, the date didn’t go that much longer because my date thought that was crass, and I thought that asking me about God was crass,” he admitted. Kunis, on the other hand got, erm, scientific. “When a female orgasms, a hormone gets released. I’ve never met a girl who can have sex without an ounce of feeling,” she said. “Ultimately, a person catches feelings and somebody gets hurt.”

SAY WHAT?

”I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.” Gwyneth Paltrow’s not going to get fat anytime soon

New Idea: It’s a baby shambles this week as Aussie celebrity chef Curtis Stone reveals he put a bun in his girlfriend Lindsay Price’s oven; Queensland NRL star Darren Lockyer considers ditching the boots to be a family man; and Kate wants to make mini royals with Wills. Give us strength.

SOUTH AFRICA You: Eat your words, naysayers: Charlene Wittstock is in wedded bliss, the mag will have you believe. Her new husband, Prince Albert of Monaco is the world’s greatest philanderer, with his illegitimate brood of children growing by the day, but those tears of hers that dampened the aisle – nothing but joy.

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ENTERTAINMENT

GLOSSY GOSSIP FROM HOME

TNT LIFE Sneaky Sound System xxx xxx

ENTERTAINMENT

Teach English abroad

Teaching English as a foreign language is a great way to earn a bit of cash while you travel. Invest in a two-day (18 hours) TEFL course and you will be qualified to teach children, teenagers or adults throughout the world.

Like free stuff? Get a copy of TNT’s Little Black Book and take advantage of great deals on food, drinks, shows, clubs, gym memberships and travel for just £6 (+ £1 postage).

» tntmagazine.com/lbb

» TNT’s Learn the Lingo. YHA Holland Park, Sat, Aug 2021. £150. High Street Kensington. See tntmagazine.com/tefl

Teach kids English

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LONDON STORES

GET TO HOMELANZ A stellar line-up of Australasian talent, including Sneaky Sound System, Town Hall Steps, Brooke Supple and Jayson Norris, will play the tunes, and Jarred Christmas, the energetic Kiwi comedian, will make you laugh in between. With wine tasting, great food and cultural acts to boot, this will be an exceptional day out. Book your tickets now.

» Boston Manor Park , TW8 9JJ

Boston Manor. Aug 13.

£24-£35 adv or £45. See tntmagazine.com/homelanz

• Unit 1142, Westfield London Shopping Centre, W12 7GG

• 26 Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, WC2E 8NA

• 1-2 Berners Street, W1T 3LA

• Unit 11 Bishops Square, Brushfield St, Spitalfields, E1 6EG

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Full of deals

SPOTLIGHT ON SUN AND SNOW 2011 Tour operators with great travel deals all under one roof. Save the date.

» October 15. The Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre, Broad Sanctuary, Westminster, SW1P 3EE

Buy online

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TNT Images

For a full list of London entertainment log on to tntmagazine.com

TNT’S LITTLE BLACK BOOK

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

The Toploader frontman chats about getting the band back together at a stag do, his trademark curly locks and his recent foray into opera …

ENTERTAINMENT

Joe Washbourn INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER It’s been nine years since your last album. What was the motivation for getting the band back together now?

Dan [Hipgrave, guitarist] was getting married and we all just met up at his stag do. I was the best man. We went clay pigeon shooting and to a couple of pubs and that was the first time we’d all been in the same place for the first time in five, six years. We started talking about the fun stuff we’d done in the band and very quickly we were back in rehearsals again. The new album Only Human has an epic spacious, more mature sound ...

We’re different people now; we’ve grown up. That first album came out when I was 22. When you’re 22 you’re very naive and I’m just not that same person. Soundwise, we wanted to sound a bit edgier and to produce something with a bit more depth.

What hair am “ I supposed to

have? Short back and sides?

”

NME gave it only one star – do reviews like that hurt?

Hah! That’s only one of the bad ones we’ve had. It made us laugh because NME have never been big fans of ours. I think we could have made the The White Album and NME would still have given us a one-star review. But we’ve had loads of lovely stuff written about it.

Nicky Johnston

Most people know you for Dancing In The Moonlight. Is a mega-hit like that a double-edged sword?

That was definitely the catalyst for us breaking up the first time around. It was such a big hit that it overtook what we were trying to do as a band. When we made the second album, radio stations

wouldn’t play our new singles because they were still playing Dancing In The Moonlight. I didn’t want our legacy to be just that song, that’s why we did the new album … but it’s still an incredible song. Where’s the strangest place you’ve ever heard it?

I supposed to have? Short back and sides? But it’s not anywhere near as mental as it used to be. I dunno – it just grows on my head. When we were at Sony they really pushed the thing with my hair, having the sun glaring through it [in photos] and all this stuff. The label was definitely responsible for that.

I was backpacking in Bali and I was in a village that barely had electricity and I heard it there and I just thought, “Jesus, I’m on the other side of the world – there’s no escaping it!”

You’ve been appearing in ITV’s Pop Star To Opera Star – just how different is that kind of singing to being a pop/ rock vocalist?

I’ve got to ask about your hair – it always seemed to have a starring role in the band’s image …

It’s funny, people always ask me about my hair. I’m in a band, what sort of hair am

It couldn’t be more different really. I’ve never had any training and pop/rock singing is singing from the throat – it can be quite raspy. With opera singing you’re after a really pure note, so everything has to come from the stomach and the diaphragm. That’s been the most difficult thing for me because I’ve had to unlearn everything I’ve ever done. Maybe when your Toploader days are over this could be a new career move.

I love the more dramatic side of it and would love to try acting, but opera singers train for ten years or more. If I ever thought I’d been nervous playing Toploader gigs when we were supporting Bon Jovi at Wembley Stadium, it’s nothing compared to standing before two massive polystyrene doors, waiting for them to open and to knowing that a million people are going to be watching you perform on TV. You were knocked out of the show last week – did you ever expect to get as far as you did?

Not at all. I just wanted to get through the first week, really. I didn’t want to get into the final because it’s a bit too much really. You only have a week to learn each song. That’s not very long. Learning a brand new Italian aria in one week is pretty hardcore.

» Toploader’s Only Human out now through Underdog Music. tntmagazine.com

ENTERTAINMENT

CINEMA

Hobo With A Shotgun

SCREEN TEST: RUTGER HAUER

Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth

STARRING:

CERT: 18 RT 82 MINS

1 In which sci-fi film does Rutger Hauer play a replicant? 2 What’s his character’s name in that movie? 3 Hauer has appeared in two vampire films with which other actor? 4 Which director cast Hauer in his breakthrough film Turkish Delight? 5 But Hauer turned him down for another film – name the film.

★★★★★

From topless women beating a man to death with baseball bats for fun to a schoolbus full of children being torched by a flame thrower, Hobo With A Shotgun might force cinema owners to hand out sickbags to punters. Those with a strong stomach are in for a real treat, though. A twisted, darkly comical Grindhouse offering, Hobo With A Shotgun has enough jaw-dropping moments to ensure it attains cult status. Rutger Hauer is perfect as the titular vagrant who has the misfortune of blowing into a town run by nutter Drake (Brian Downey) and his two equally unhinged sons. The hobo lets some vile things slide – including an astonishing decapitation featuring a manhole cover – but when sweet prostitute

Don’t mess: Rutger Hauer

Abby (Dunsworth) is targeted, he fights back with a shotgun. For those unfamiliar with Grindhouse, Hobo With A Shotgun might well seem unwatchably bad with its OTT performances, obvious plottwists and gratuitous violence. There’s some real smart thinking behind the storyline,

THE REEL DEAL

tntmagazine.com

The Australian Film Institute is to be transformed into an academy that can match the Oscars and the BAFTAs, The Sydney Morning Herald reports. In a move that will also have the AFI Awards relocate from Melbourne to Sydney, the proposed “Australian Film and TV Academy” will unite the industry under one umbrella. AFI will be controlled by a council representing all of the guilds and unions that make up the film and TV industries rather than the membership-only based structure which exists now.

however, with director Jason Eisener paying homage to a genre he clearly adores while coming up with new and improved ways to work your gag reflex. Put the brain in park and just enjoy. GOOD FOR : Putting you off your dinner. PIERRE DE VILLIERS Fischer’s addiction to pawn was proving stressful

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS 1 Keresley, Coventry 2 Vroom 3 James Bond 4 Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman 5 Ernest Hemingway LAST WEEK’S WINNER Arlene Els

BOBBY FISCHER AGAINST THE WORLD CERT: TBA RT: 92 MINS

★★★★★

Director Liz Garbus does an amazing job analysing the late chess-master Bobby Fischer. Satisfyingly, Garbus refuses to pull any punches, exploring Fischer’s dark side while also celebrating the genius that allowed him to strike an important propaganda blow during the Cold War. GOOD FOR : Seeing some good moves. PDV

CELL 211 CERT: 18 RT: 112 MINS

★★★★★

A newby prison guard (Alberto Ammann) convinces a gang leader (Luis Tosar) he is a fellow inmate when a riot breaks out behind bars in this superbly constructed thriller. Proper character development and a tense storyline elevate this above most prison dramas and ensure that Hollywood will produce an inferior remake. GOOD FOR : Seeing an original before it’s ruined. PDV

Turning the screws: Alberto Ammann

Getty Images

Elijah Wood (below) will be “excited” to head back to New Zealand this year to reprise the role of Frodo Baggins in Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings franchise. Wood, who is due to start working on The Hobbit, a prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, told AP: “It’s not often you get to revisit such a significant time in your life.” He also has fond memories of DJing during his last visit to NZ. “I brought down four Case Logics full of CDs because I was there for so long.” Wood said the effort he put in paid off because he now gets asked to DJ at parties.

To win a copy of 1986 slasher movie Slaughter High, starring scream queen Caroline Munro, out on DVD on July 11, email grabs@ tntmagazine. com with ‘Slaughter’ in the subject line.

WIN

CULTURE BETRAYAL Harold Pinter’s 1978 account of a faded adulterous affair, told more or less backwards, is both touching and intimate in Ian Rickson’s sensitive production. At its heart is Kristin Scott Thomas, growing younger gracefully as Emma, galleryrunning wife of publisher Robert (Ben Miles, conveying the pent-up potential for violence beneath a cultured exterior) and, for seven years, mistress of literary agent Jerry, her husband’s oldest – and married – friend. Douglas Henshall’s Jerry struggles to convey the subtleties of his character, but

ENTERTAINMENT

SEE THIS: Theatre this detracts only marginally from an emotionally acute 90 minutes (based on Pinter’s own adulterous liaison) which travels back through layers of deception – from stilted small talk to the first portentous kiss nine years earlier. LOUISE KINGSLEY

» Comedy, Panton Street,

SW1Y 4DN (0844 871 7622) Piccadilly Circus (betrayaltheplay.com). Until August 20. £20 - £49.50

TNT online For more reviews of entertainment in London see tntmagazine.com/londonlife

Kristin Scott-Thomas as Emma and Douglas Henshall as Jerry

WORTH A LOOK Billy Roche’s Lay Me Down Softly tells the story of travelling carnival folk in 1960s Ireland » Tricycle Theatre, 269

•

Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR

Kilburn (tricycle.co.uk). Jul 11-Aug 6. £12-£22 A group of 1930s Northumbrian miners take the art world by storm in The Pitmen Painters » Richmond Theatre, The Green, TW9 1LX Richmond (ambassadortickets.com). Jul 11 & 16. £16-£26

EXHIBITION OF THE WEEK

BOOKS OUT THIS WEEK

MICHELANGELO PISTOLETTO

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

STIEG AND ME

Corey Taylor

Eva Gabrielsson

(Ramdom House) JUL 14

(Orion) JUL 14

The Iowa-born frontman of Slipknot and Stone Sour publishes a no-holds-barred account of his life-long quest to work his way through the seven deadly sins. That is until he decides to sort himself out.

Stieg Larsson’s widow tells the story of their 30year romance, of Stieg’s upbringing and early years, and how this shaped the morals and personality of the Swedish journalist and author.

THE MANUAL OF DARKNESS

A STOLEN LIFE

Enrique de Heriz

(Simon & Schuster)

(W&N) JUL 14

Jul 12

Spanish author of Lies publishes new novel about a world famous magician who is going blind and must discover new ways to impress the world – through stories from the past.

The 30-year-old Californian gives an unflinching account of her abduction as an elevenyear-old, and her 18 years spent as Philip Craig Garrido’s captive.

Michelangelo Pistoletto, the acclaimed Italian conceptual artist and founder of the influential Arte Povera movement, unveils his The Mirror of Judgement exhibition at the Serpentine. Designed to alter the viewers’ understanding of architecture, Pistoletto has

devised a site-specific labyrinth that guides visitors through the Gallery’s interior, where they will discover a series of sculptural works along the way.

» Serpentine Gallery, Kensington Gardens W2 3XA (serpentinegallery. South Kensington. org) Jul 12-17. Free

Labirinto e Grande Pozzo 1969–2008

Jaycee Lee Dugard

MORE EXHIBITIONS Contemporary bronze sculpture

from Thomas Ostenberg » One Gallery, 89-91 Pimlico Road, SW1W 8PH

(plusonegallery.com)

•

Jul 13-Aug 6. Free Contemporary works by design students at The Inchbald Annual Exhibition » Cadogan Hall,

SW1X 9DQ (cadoganhall.com)

Sloane Square. Jul 12-13. Free

tntmagazine.com

reen Sc

Tin tin

h e T S d ilve n A r

Hergé’s boy reporter returns to cinemas this year. But what lies behind his enduring appeal? WORDS TOM STURROCK

intin, with his plus-fours and peculiar little quiff, sweat beading on his brow as he rushes from one fraught situation to the next, will attain a new measure of ubiquity in December, when Secret of the Unicorn hits cinemas in all its animated 3D glory. Directed by Steven Spielberg and produced by Peter Jackson, the film will introduce a new generation to Tintin, while inducing pangs of nostalgia in those already familiar with his adventures. English journalist Michael Farr is the world’s foremost ‘Tintinologist’, having written extensively on the subject. And, according to Farr, Tintin’s timeless appeal owes to the insatiable curiosity and

tntmagazine.com

attention to detail of Hergé, his creator. “I met Hergé – I interviewed him and got to know him,” Farr says. “He was in his 70s but still had a very young mind. One of the first things he asked – I was in my 20s – was what I thought of Pink Floyd. “He had universal interest and I think that explains the quality of the books. I’ve written quite a few books about Tintin and Hergé but I think everyone who likes Tintin is a Tintinologist.”

TINTIN’S REAL WORLD Farr developed such a close relationship with Hergé – aka Georges Remi – that he was permitted access to his personal files after he passed away in 1984.

Eccentric: Hergé

“Hergé was the worst interview I’ve ever done,” Farr recalls of their first meeting. “Whenever you asked him a question, he would turn it around and ask you a question in return. He would have liked to have been a journalist himself and that’s why he created Tintin.” This inquiring mind allowed Hergé to recreate the real world in scrupulous, mind-boggling detail. “When Tintin goes to Egypt and sees the Pyramids,” Farr explains, “I gave those books to a friend who’s an Egyptologist and she came back and said all the detail is spot-on, all the hieroglyphics.”

Tintinologist Michael Farr

Doing it justice: Spielberg’s film captures the look of the books

ENTERTAINMENT 27 Hergé’s commitment to realism extended also to politics and technology. “Tintin’s adventures reflect the current affairs of the time,” Farr says. “The Blue Lotus, which touches on Japan’s aggression in Hong Kong, anticipates Pearl Harbour. And when Tintin lands on the moon, 16 years before Neil Armstrong, the scientific detail is all very accurate.”

HEADING DOWN UNDER In Hergé’s personal files, Farr came across reams of background research, which led him to believe that Tintin’s next adventure would have been to Australia. “More than 90 per cent of the material was background information – a lot of what people would wear, or copies of airline tickets to make sure it would be accurate if Tintin caught a plane,” Farr says. “And I found two bulging files

YouTube, Getty Images

Everyone who “ likes Tintin is a Tintinologist ” on Australia. He was fascinated by Australian Aborigines, their art, customs and their way of life.” Farr’s theory takes in the fact that, in his final adventure, Flight 714, Tintin is on a flight to Sydney, before being waylaid; the adventure ends with Tintin reboarding his flight. Also, Hergé was fascinated by indigenous cultures – native Americans featured in an earlier adventure – so a visit to Australia, with Tintin as his proxy, would have held obvious appeal. “I believe he was on his way to do something about the mineral exploitation of Aboriginals’ land in Australia,” Farr says. “All the elements sort of fit together there. Tintin was a real globetrotter and Australia remains a corner he hadn’t been to.”

Tintin has a nose for adventure

30 YEARS IN THE MAKING After earlier adaptations of his work proved underwhelming, Hergé began to question whether his material lent itself to reworking on film. But, late in life, he became a great fan of Steven Spielberg. Spielberg had in fact scheduled a meeting with Hergé in the early part of 1984, but the meeting was delayed and Hergé died soon after. Still, Spielberg bought the film rights to Tintin, but allowed them to lapse when he felt the technology did not exist to do Tintin justice, only to buy them again in 2002. “I found that Hergé made a note saying that ‘if anyone can bring Tintin to film, then it’s this young American director’,” Farr recalls. “I have some confidence in Spielberg – he’s serious about the subject matter and it won’t be mucked about.” Whether Spielberg’s vision chimes with Tintinologists’ remains to be seen, but Farr believes Hergé would have approved. “Hergé would be a great critic but also the greatest fan,” Farr says. “He would be the first to encourage it if done well, and that should apply to all Tintin enthusiasts.”

» A new edition of Tintin: The Complete Companion, by Michael Farr, will be released in August.

Snowy was named after Hergé’s first love

FAR AND WIDE Over the course of his many adventures, Tintin certainly chalked up some serious frequent-flyer miles. And now, you can retrace his footsteps, thanks to On The Go tours, who are offering special Tintin-themed tours. “On the Go tours is the only company in the world offering Tintin holidays,” On The Go spokeswoman Pru Goudie says. “It’s a truly unique experience for Tintin fans to now be able to follow in the footsteps of their favourite Belgian adventurer.” On The Go is offering tours to Jordan, to take in the Rose City of Petra; to Egypt, to marvel at the Pyramids; and to India, home to the Taj Mahal. Petra’s Treasury

MUSIC

MUSIC & CLUBS

ALBUM OF THE WEEK

Anna Calvi Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Nov 1 (0844 477 2000). £12.50. The Cat Empire Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Oct 20 & Brixton Academy Oct 21 (0844 477 2000) £22.

THE HORRORS Skying (XL)

FAST FORWARD

CSS XOYO, Aug 23 (xoyo.co.uk) £15.

★★★★★

Unless you’re Nick Cave, squalling goth punk can only take you so far, which is possibly why London’s The Horrors changed tack so quickly for their shoegazemeets-post-punk second album, Primary Colours. The band’s third LP continues in the shoegaze vein, but it’s not the hazy, shimmering variety which normally

Might need some sleep: Faris Badwan

saturates the airwaves; there’s something very structured and towering about the walls of sound on Skying, as if they’ve been achieved on a Grand Designs scale. Vocally, frontman Faris

Badwan can afford to let himself go a bit more, as on the plaintive, anguished Dive. If only more of Skying’s tunes could have matched it for drama and emotional depth. ALISON GRINTER

ALSO OUT REM

MADELEINE PEYROUX

SUZANNE VEGA

Life’s Rich Pageant (EMI) First released in 1986, REM’s groundbreaking fourth album is remastered and expanded.

Standing On The Rooftop

Close-Up Vol 3, States of Being (Cooking Vinyl) Re-recordings of songs from latter part of folkstress Vega’s vast back-catalogue.

(Decca)

The American singer-songwriter takes her jazz shtick to rootsier territory.

MUSIC NEWS

Arctic Monkeys

The Arctic Monkeys will fly to Australia to headline this year’s Falls Music & Arts Festival in December. The Sheffield band will be joined by the Fleet Foxes, The Jezabels, Tim Finn, Easy Star All Stars and comedian Arj Barker. More artists will be named

Warner Music performed a U-turn on plans to trademark the term ‘The Diggers’ after outrage from Australians. ‘Digger’ is Australian military slang for a soldier and used as a term of endearment when talking about soldiers from World War I who fought at Gallipolli.

Warner Music was accused of insulting the soldiers by attempting to trademark the name for their group The Diggers, the Australian version of UK’s The Soldiers. The proposed move raised the ire of Aussie veterans. “No bloody way,” one commented. “If this trademark goes through ‘the diggers’ cannot be used by even us without permission. “It is now up to all of us to ensure that this does not go through.” Until Warner’s backdown, the federal government had promised to investigate.

AUSTRALIA

NEW ZEALAND

SOUTH AFRICA

No 1 single Someone Like You, Adele No 1 album 21, Adele

No 1 single Beautiful People, Chris Brown/Benny Benassi No 1 album Wees Lig, Juanita du Plessis,

No 1 single Don’t Wanna Go Home, Jason Derulo No 1 album 4, Beyonce

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Homelanz Boston Manor Park, Aug 13 (homelanz.co.uk) £24-£35. Josh Groban Hammersmith Apollo, Oct 11 (0844 844 4748). £40. G Love Union Chapel, Sep 15 (0870 264 3333). £15. Gurrumul Barbican, Oct 6 (020 7638 8891). £12.50£22.50. Paul Kelly Bush Hall, Aug 30-Sep 2 (0870 264 3333). £15 or £42 for four nights. Metronomy Royal Albert Hall, Oct 3 (020 7589 8212). £25. Pulp Brixton Academy, Aug 31 (0870 060 3775). £27.50. Public Enemy Forum, Sep 8 (0844 844 0444). £25. The Specials Brixton Academy, Oct 31 (08444 77 2000). £35. Scissor Sisters Sandown Park, Jul 20 (01372 470 047). £33-£38. Yann Tiersen Roundhouse, Oct 20 (0870 264 3333). £17. The Vaccines Brixton Academy, Dec 8 (0844 477 2000). £17.50. Wilco Roundhouse, Oct 28-29. (0844 482 8008). £32. Wild Beasts Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Nov 23 (08444 77 2000). £17. Dweezil Zappa plays Zappa Barbican, Nov 29. (020 7638 8891). £29.50.

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CHARTS

in the coming months. Now in its ninth year in Marion Bay, Tasmania and nineteenth year in Lorne, Victoria, the New Year’s festival remains one of Australia’s longest-running, best-loved events.

Death From Above 1979 Brixton Academy, Oct 7 (08444 77 2000). £21.50.

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SEE THE SCISSOR SISTERS LIVE AT SANDOWN PARK RACECOURSE Sandown Park Racecourse has teamed up with TNTT to offer one lucky reader the chance to win a pair of premier tickets (plus hospitality) to see the Scissor Sisters live after racing at Sandown Park Racecourse on Wednesday, July 20. Three runners-up will also win a pair of grandstand tickets. The Scissor Sisters have filled venues from New York’s Bowery Ballroom to London’s O2 Arena and there is really nothing the band won’t do to make you dance and get lost in the beat. They’ve infamously collaborated with Jim Henson’s Muppets for their opening performance at the Brit Awards in 2005, and in 2010, stole the show at Glastonbury when they performed a duet (and grinded) with Kylie Minogue during a sexy rendition of their single Any Which Way. y For further information or to book tickets please call Sandown Park on 01372 47 00 47 or visitsandown.co.uk Enter at tntmagazine.com/ competitions.

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MUSIC

GIG GUIDE MUSIC & CLUBS

Alison Grinter PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST LIVE MUSIC

GIG OF THE WEEK BOOTSY COLLINS Words like ‘legendary’ and ‘iconic’ are bandied about so frequently in music writing that they’ve lost all meaning. But revered American funk bassist and singer-songwriter, Bootsy Collins actually lives up to the hyperbole. Rising to fame as the bassist in James Brown’s backing band in the late 1960s, and then with Parliament Funkadelic during the 1970s, Bootsy’s driving bass and quirky vocals established him as one of the leading pioneers of funk. He’ll be playing tracks from his latest concept album, Tha Funk Capitol Of the World.

» IndigO2, Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). Mon, Jul 11. £32.50

North Greenwich Stars in his eyes: Bootsy Collins

BEADY EYE Liam Gallagher’s like a recalcitrant child refusing to eat when it comes to his music taste. “Muse scares me,” he opined recently. “They’re, like, creepy shit”. So what does Liam like? Well, Oasis sonics laced with some psychedelica, if his new band Beady Eye is anything to go by. It ain’t original but fills the hole left by Oasis’s demise.

» Somerset House, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600) Tue, Jul 12. £28

Piccadilly Circus

BASEMENT JAXX VS METROPOLE ORKEST Basement Jaxx’s left-field take on dance music collides with Metropole Orkest’s cutting-edge approach to orchestral interpretation. Expect to hear sweeping orchestral versions of Jaxx hits, including Where’s Your Head At and Good Luck, as Jules Buckley conducts.

» Barbican, Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS

NEW BAND ALERT

FESTIVAL WATCH Coming up Benicassim The Streets, Paolo Nutini, Pendulum, Portishead, The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, Primal Scream, Elbow. Benicassim, Spain (fiberfib. com) Jul 14-17. W/e £145

The picnic was fun until they realised they’d left the hamper at home

Look, Stranger! THE BUZZ SO FAR Having spent 2010 honing themselves into

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Barbican (020 7638 8891)

Barbican. Jul 14-15. £20-£30

a formidable live proposition, Look, Stranger! present their DIY-recorded debut EP, If You’re Listening – four other-worldly pop songs that led the Guardian to describe them as “London’s premier space-age, bachelor-pad rockers”. “Rockers” isn’t strictly accurate though; the band have no drumkit, beats are instead provided by a homemade laptop/sampler and they’re named after a WH Auden poem. THE PLUG Debut EP If You’re Listening out Jul 4.

Cambridge Folk Festival Laura Marling, Richard Thompson, Rumer, Newton Faulkner, Pentangle, Femi Kuti & The Positive Force, Kate Rusby, Raul Malo. Cherry Hinton Hall,Cambridge, (cambridgefolkfestival.co.uk). Jul 28-31. W/e £114 Reading/Leeds Festival Muse, Elbow, Interpol Friendly Fires, The Streets, Warpaint, My Chemical Romance, Beady Eye. Reading/Leeds (seetickets. com) Aug 26-28. W/e £180

V Festival Eminem, Rihanna, Arctic Monkeys, Plan B, Pendulum. Chelmsford/Staffordshire (vfestival2011tickets.com). Aug 20-21. W/e tickets £185 Wickerman Echo & The Bunnymen, Feeder, The Damned, Utah Saints, Riva Starr, The Coral Noisettes, The Hoosiers. Dumfries & Galloway, (thewickermanfetival.co.uk). Jul 22-23. W/e tickets £90 Womad Afrocubism, Gogol Bordello, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Baaba Maal, Aurelio & The Garifuna Soul Band, I Am Kloot, Alabama 3, Jazz Jamaica, CW Stoneking, Dhol Foundation. Charlton Park, Wiltshire (womad.org) Jul 29-31. W/e tickets £120

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MUSIC LISTINGS Lykke Li

MONDAY 11

Ultrasound The band plays indie. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town

SATURDAY 16

Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £10.

MUSIC & CLUBS

Anvil Classic heavy metal by the Toronto-based band.

The Wolfmen, Silvery Contemporary rock with elements of prog and psychedelia by the Londonbased band of ex-Adam and The Ants guitarist, Marco Pirroni. 100 Club, Oxford St,

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.50.

Bootsy Collins The bassplaying innovator of funk ‘n’ roll performs his hits from the past 40 years and promotes his album Tha Funk Capitol Of The World. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq,

W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10.

FRIDAY 15

SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £32.50.

Adjoa Soul from the LondonNeil Diamond The American

based singer-songwriter.

singer-songwriter and Tin Pan Alley stalwart performs his multi-million-selling pop hits, including Sweet Caroline, Cracklin’ Rose and Kentucky Woman. O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq,

The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £14.

SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £55£75.

The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). £10, adv £8.

LA Runaway, Deadwax Indie-rock band. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). £8, £5 before 9pm.

Victoria Newton Mainstream jazz from the Australian vocalist. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £5-£20.

John Williams & John Etheridge The guitarists perform a variety of pieces from around the world. Pizza Express Jazz Club, Dean St, W1D 3RW (020 7437 9595/ cc 0845 602 7017). £25.

the Bristol and Nagoya-based singer-songwriter. Downstairs At

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

LYKKE LI Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH Chalk Farm (0844 482 8008). Tues, Nov 1. £19.50 Fresh from the US, where she made quite a splash on the Late Night With Jimmy Fallon show, Swedish sensation Lykke Li returns to London to play tracks from her second LP, Wounded Rhymes.

TUESDAY 12 Gilad Atzmon With Strings, The Ronnie Scotts All Stars The renowned

WEDNESDAY 13

David Coulter, Arthur H, The Tiger Lillies, Camille O’ Sullivan, Stef Kamil Carlens, St. Vincent And Erika Stucky The artists, under David Coulter, perform the music from Tom Waits’ Rain Dogs album. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £15-£25.

Luke Haines The singersongwriter behind the eloquent indie of The Auteurs and Black Box Recorder performs solo material Southbank

The Horrors Faris Badwan leads

Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £25.

Unsane The New Yorkbased three-piece plays garage rock. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

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Middle Eastern soundscapes from the pianist-composer. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £7, concs £5.

The Raid, Mad Boy The Hemel Hempstead-based five-piece plays energised indie and rock. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £10.

gothic rock. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10.

THURSDAY 14 13 & God A collaborative effort between the German indie-rock band The Notwist and the American outfit, Themselves. Relentless

Orchestral folk-rock with classical influences from the London-based outfit.

Summer Series: Lamb

St-Giles-In-The-Fields, St Giles High St, WC2H 8LG (020 7240 2532/ cc 020 7403 3331). £10.

Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £22.50.

Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £13.50.

by the London-based band.

Ezra Axelrod The American

Melanie Safka, Beaux Saunders Pop-folk by the

singer-songwriter and pianist plays dramatic pop-rock. Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £10.

Big Boy Bloater Chicago blues and classic R‘n’B by the Aldershot-based singer. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £5-£20.

Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £13.

experienced singer-songwriter from America with her Brand New Key. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £27, adv £24.

Ian Siegal & The Mississippi Mudbloods The London-based

Raghu Dixit World music

singer-guitarist plays blues with his band, in support of the album The Skinny. The Borderline,

and Indian folk from the musician. Hoxton Hall, Hoxton

Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £15.

Soul Purpose Bruce Henry Frankmusik Electronica from the London-based songsmith. XOYO, Cowper St,

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £25.

Alan Price Soulful pop-

leads the ensemble for soul and funk. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

Talitha, Dee Dee Loves Me, Xsara Alt electro-rock

outfit plays ukulele versions of popular songs from a wide range of genres. Artsdepot, Nether St, Tally Ho Corner, N12 0GA (020 8369 5454). £15, concs £13.

SUNDAY 17 Erykah Badu R‘n’B, soul and funk tinged with psychedelia from the Texan singer. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £32.50.

Crimson Glory Metal from the American five-piece. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £15.

Fozzy American wrestler and vocalist Chris Jericho leads his outfit in playing powerful hard rock and heavy metal. Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). £15.

by the London-based singer-

Kate Rusby The award-winning

Lonsdale Rd, Barnes, SW13 9PY (020 8876 5241). £12.

songwriter. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8, £4 after 11pm.

folk singer-songwriter blends traditional songs with her selfpenned tunes. The Open Air Theatre, Inner Circle, Regent’s Park, NW1 4NU (0844 826 4242). £25 & £32.50.

rock from the former member of the Animals. Bull’s Head,

Primus The Californian band plays a skewed collision of metal, rock and funk. O2

Rock Choir Contemporary

James Taylor Melodic country

community choir. The Shaw

Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £25.

Theatre, Euston Rd, NW1 2AJ (0870 033 2600). £16.

stylings from the veteran singersongwriter. O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq,

Rival Sons Classic heavy blues-

Summer Series: Hurts

They Might Be Giants

rock by the Californian combo.

The Manchester-based duo plays electro-pop. Somerset

Alt rock from the American five-piece. Koko, Camden High

House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £22.50.

St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £19.50.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £7.50.

Electronica from the Mancunian two-piece.

The Ukulele Project The The Polecats Rockabilly

EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £10.

Ke$ha The playful American singer performs dance and electro-infused pop. HMV

Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm.

North Sea Radio Orchestra

St, N1 6SH (020 7684 0060). £20.

his band in playing synth-infused

Corey Taylor The Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman performs.

John Kameel Farah

7AN (020 8806 2668). £7, concs £5.

Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £26.50-£40.

Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £27.50.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £17.50.

Somerset House, The Strand, WC2R 1LA (020 7845 4600). £35.

pioneering artist and actor, O’Shea Jackson. IndigO2,

from Liam Gallagher’s outfit.

the New Jersey-based outfit. The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £10.

based four-piece plays indie-pop. XOYO, Cowper St,

Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £17.50 & £20, concs £8.75 & £10.

Summer Series: Beady Eye Pop-rock and indie

Crowded House leads the four-piece for alt pop-rock.

Piano-led blues outfit.

The Black Crowes Bluesy

Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £39.50-£85.

Ensign, Crossbreaker, Rot In Hell Hardcore punk from

Allo Darlin’ The London-

Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £7.

Rican platinum-selling singersongwriter performs Latin pop in support of his album Musica+Alma+Sexo. HMV

Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

Pajama Club Neil Finn of

Eric Ranzoni Blues Band

Metalcore from the Londonbased five-piece. Relentless

Ricky Martin The Puerto

Latin and salsa from the Colombian-based singer and band. The Hideaway, Stanthorpe

Indie-pop from the German outfit. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1

Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £15-£32.50.

Ice Cube Classic rap by the

outfit plays punk-rock. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £15.

The Gecko, The Velvetines

bop saxophonist performs with accompaniment.

Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £33.50.

The Dickies The American

The iconic American poppunk band, led by Debbie Harry and Chris Stein.

Despite My Deepest Fear, We Die Tonight, Weather The Storm, Your Life In Ruins

rock from the American six-piece. O2 Shepherd’s

EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £10-£15.

Summer Series: Blondie

EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £10.

Battersea High St, SW11 3HX (020 7787 2227). £10.

and arbiters of contemporary folk perform collaborative pieces with the brass band that encompass songs from the coal-mining industry as well traditional favourites and originals. Barbican Centre, Silk St,

Manteca, Martha Acosta Rachael Dadd Alt folk by

Zingaros The Argentinian collective plays Gypsy folk and swing. Le QuecumBar,

Blaze: The Unthanks With Brighouse And Rastrick Brass Band The Northumbrian siblings

SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £52.50.

Yndi Halda, Shady Bard, A Lily Post-rock by the

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing gigs@pressassociation.com.

Canterbury-based band. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £9.

Tatcho Drom Traditional folk and Balkan Gypsy music by the London-based outfit. Le QuecumBar, Battersea High St, SW11 3HX (020 7787 2227). £13, adv £10.

TNT online For full listings info go to tntmagazine. com/whats_on

THE SOUTH AFRICAN GOSPEL SINGERS “Note perfect” Jane Cornwell, Evening Standard

The original African super choir, the South African Gospel Singers, directed by Pinise Saul, maintains its position as the greatest gospel choir of them all. Formed in 1979 to fight apartheid, the choir remains its original spirits of creating uplifting music that lifts your soul. The choir continues to draw on Xhosa, Zulu and Suthu vocal traditions while embracing township and traditional harmonies, gospel, jazz and soul to create something that is beautiful and moving in the grand style of the very best South African music. The singers’ close harmonies combined with their skin-tight band, led by guitarist Lucky Ranku create a performance that is both soulful and joyous. The choir’s awesome vocal power and bursting exuberance creates music that lifts your spirit and soothes your soul. Join our mailing list at joyfulnoisemail@ymail.com | www.joyfulnoise.co.uk

Monday 18 July | 7.30pm Queen Elizabeth Hall

CATCH THE BEST SHOWS with and receive amazing discounts!

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CLUB LISTINGS

MUSIC & CLUBS

MONDAY 11

TNT’S TOP BOOKING

South West Four

Happy Monday Chill-out anthems courtesy of the residents. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR

SOUTH WEST FOUR Clapham Common, SW4 (southwestfour. com) Clapham Common. Aug 27-28. From £45 Underworld, John Digweed, Laurent Garnier, Pendulum and Richie Hawtin are just some of the DJs on South West Four’s starstudded two-day club extravaganza.

(020 7437 1977). 5pm-3am. £3.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Rehab DJs Val, Satoko, Zoe Demonettes, Joe, Saral and Hale supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028). 7pm-late. £7, concs £4.

TUESDAY 12 Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

Latino Sound DJ Kirisis and CLI play R‘n’B, hip-hop and dance. Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-late. £5-£10.

MissFit Magazine Launch Party Bugsy, Teeza DJ and SAI DJ spin grime, house and hip-hop, plus live music from RoxXxan and Lioness. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 7pm-midnight. £8, adv £5.

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Panic! Max, Gaz and That

Guanabara Samba School

Latin Krazy DJs spin salsa,

Fabriclive Scratch Perverts, AD,

Samba, Afrobeat, pop, house and nu disco, plus Capoeira masterclasses, break dancers, Brazilian street food and cocktail making. Guanabara, Parker

merengue, bachata and reggaeton, plus salsa dances lessons. Salsa!,

Hatcha, Doctor P, Flux Pavillion, A1 Bassline, Ali B, Goldie, Commix and Rubi Dan provide hip-hop and reggae. Fabric, Charterhouse

St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

Neighbourhood Ben UFO, Boddika, Alexander Nut, Fatima, Tasha and LX One provide electronica, techno, dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass. Plastic People, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3QE (020 7739 6471). 9pm-1am. £7, £5 before 10pm.

Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

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Radio The Radio DJs play 1980s pop, indie and disco.

Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop.

Roller Disco Funk and

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

Voix De Ville DJs spin vintage swing and blues, plus cabaret and burlesque performances from Veronica Blacklace, Dominic Pipkin, Elsie Diamond, Jo Foley, Betsy Rose, Abi Collins and Betsy Rose. Proud Cabaret, Minster Court, EC3R 7AA (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-1.30am. £10.

disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pmmidnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire.

The Tassel Club’s Dinner Party Resident DJs play swing, soul, blues, pop and rock ‘n’ roll, plus live burlesque and cabaret. The Bathhouse, Bishopsgate Churchyard, EC2M 3TJ (020 7920 9207). 6pm-late. £10, £45 inc meal.

R‘n’B and dancehall.

YoYo Leo Greenslade and Seb

Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 11pm-5am. £6, w/flyer £5.

Chew play hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass, dubstep and garage.

THURSDAY 14

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Gravity House, R‘n’B and commercial pop across three rooms, from residents The Oli, Alan K, Oliver M and Jamie Head. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890). 11pm-8am. £10, w/flyer £6, £6 after 3am, £3 before 3am, £1 before midnight.

The Gallery Marco V, Bobina, Riley & Durrant, Soul Avengerz, Steve Lee, Mark Dickson & Mike Mac, DJ Miley, Josh Adamson, Purple Rabbit, Gee Begg, DJ De Linares and DG Lux play electro, house and dance. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £13.

One More Time Resident DJs

Work! DJ Big John plays

Strum! DJ Harry Duncan of The

WEDNESDAY 13

Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040). 9pm-3am. £5, mems £3.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O,

W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3.

Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, guestlist £6, adv £5.

spins commercial dance, pop and R‘n’B. Escape Bar,

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3.

Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3.

Cerberus Collective spins ska, roots, soul, reggae and jungle, plus Supa3, Templars, Bears Banquet, The Forty Thieves, Awsa and Caggie Dunlop play live. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting

St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 10pm-6am. £16, adv £15, NUS £10, £7 after 3am, £20 inc CD.

QueerlyOut DJ Robby D

Boom Ian Charles and Spida spin pop, R‘n’B, commercial dance, electro, house and dubstep. Moonlighting, Greek St,

Perfect Fumble play indie and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone

Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7.30pm-2.30am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

FRIDAY 15 Bedrock DJs Little Chris and George spin indie, electro, rock, retro and pop.

Dan Hayes, Max Raymond and Tim Ross supply classic house, pop, hip-hop and retro hits from the last two decades. The Clapham Grand, St John’s Hill, SW11 1TT (020 7223 6523). 10pm3am. £10, NUS £8, free before 11pm.

Play Presents LoveBox After Party Jimpster, Majistrate and Modified Motion play house, techno, dubstep and pop. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-7am. £15, adv £13.

Rootikal David Rodigan, Earl Gateshead, Stuart Patterson, David Hill, Prince Terralox, Mr Faso, Dementia and Ladybugz play reggae, soul, funk, disco and dub. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3.30am. £7, £5 before 10pm.

Sick Vibez Pre Party Shane Cooke and Jason Bands spin house. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-midnight. Free.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-4am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight.

SATURDAY 16

Calentito Pop, R‘n’B

Blueprint Records DJs

and soul. Salvador And Amanda,

James Ruskin, Peter Van Hoesen, DVS1 and Mark Broom play house, disco and techno. Cable, Bermondsey

Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm-3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

Euphoria Angel Kiss, Oliver MARSH, Intro, Marc Phill, MEF and DJ AD play electro, house, techno, pop, dance and R‘n’B. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (0208 993 2915). 9pm-late. £10, ladies free before 11pm.

St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £14, adv/NUS £11.

Full Fetish Paul King, Micky Friedmann and Manuel Carranco play house and dance. Pulse, Invicta Plaza, SE1 9UF (020 7403 9643). 10pm-6am. £20.

Heavyweight House Electro and house from Hoxton Whores, Steve Smart, Loose Cannons, Sons Of Audio, Superbad, John Paul, Abigale Bailey, Charlie Hedges, Natalie Parker and Jade Coxs. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 11pm-late. £20, adv £15.

Inferno Andrew Elmore spins funk, house and dance. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £10, free before 11pm.

Lovebox After Party Groove Armada (DJ Set), Seth Troxler, Alexis Raphael, Fenech Soler (DJ Set), Joe And Will Ask, Cosmonauts, Mr C. Randall, Trent Gently, Miss Tourettes and Paul Chlemar play electro, house and dance. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 11pm-7am. £20, NUS £10.

El Nocturno Fribbs, Letizia, Yousef and Russ Yallop spin house, tech and electro. McQueen, Tabernacle St, EC2A 4AA (020 7253 5555). 8pm-2am. £15, £10 before 9pm.

Prime Time Party Jamie Tennant, Hemlock and Tony Kaos play hard house. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 11pm-7am. £12, £8 before midnight.

Supernova Presents A Lovebox Afterparty Uto Karem, Anderson Noise, Leonardo Glovibes, DJ Fudge, Ian Pooley and Irregular Synth play house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm10am. £20, concs £15, adv £13.

Tempo Eterno House, techhouse and progressive house from DJs Gareth Harding, Chloe Fontaine, Hemisphere DJs, Stu Cox, Samina, Andrew Boscher and Mark Auston. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SUNDAY 17 Ceasefire Studios Presents The Bassment Hip-hop, dub and reggae courtesy of Rupert, Morrison Ford, Jors Navy, Asif, H-Bomb, Large and Dan Johns, hosted by Big Daddy Kope. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 2pm-midnight. £7, £5 before 9pm, concs £4.

Groove Sanctuary AfricanLatin, electronica, funk, disco and deep house from DJ Jimbo (Raw Deal), Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 9.30pm-3am. £5, £3 before 11pm.

In The Box DJs Enzo Gomes, Decadence DJs Shuff and Belle play glam rock and punk.

Manjit, Clubholic and Beppe Gallo play dance and electro.

St Moritz, Wardour St, W1F 8WL (020 7437 0525). 10pm-3.30am. £6, w/flyer/mems £5, free before 11pm.

Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 7pm-1am. £10, £5 before 9pm, ladies free before 9pm.

Shiva Joey Negro spins funky house, electro and tech-house. Gigalum,

Submit your free listing at least three weeks prior to the publication by emailing clubs@pressassociation.com.

Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 2pm-11pm. Free.

CLUBBING

CLUB GUIDE

Revellers at Fancy

MUSIC & CLUBS

Natasha Vuckovic PICKS OUT THIS WEEK’S BEST CLUB NIGHTS

CLUB OF THE WEEK FANCY PRESENTS THE SUMMER FESTIVAL The theme is ‘anything goes’ with an emphasis on all things summer, so dig out your finest garb from the dress-up box and get ready to dance. Headlined by London three-piece In Tropical, whose sound will take you on a ride from NYC basement-disco to full-on indie-rave. They’re joined by Beat a Maxx, whose techie skills combine VJ-ing, DJing (and even a bit of scratching). There’s also a cash prize for the most creative and imaginative outfit.

» Proud2, The O2, SE10 0DX

North Greenwich (020 8463 3070, proud2.com). Sat, Jul 16, 9pm-4am, £13.50 adv, £15

LOVEBOX AFTERPARTY

FABRIC

Missed out on Lovebox? Get some afterparty action instead, as Ministry of Sound plays hostess-with-the-mostest at this post-festival soirée. A DJ set by Groove Armada alone makes this one a winner, but throw in another 15 DJs and you’ve got your own little mini-festival going on. With Seth Troxler, Fenech Soler, Joe and Will Ask and Cosmonauts.

Another winning night by one of London’s finest clubs. Fabric regular and musical director Craig Richards shows off his blend of dubby-breakytechy house. He’s joined by clubscene stalwart Mr C in the main room along with Superfreq, while the ambient progressive sound of Swedish duo Minialogue takes over Room Two as they play live.

» Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt » Fabric, 77a Charterhouse St, St, SE1 6DP Elephant & Castle (0870 060 0010, ministryofsound.com). Sat, Jul 16, 11pm-7am. £20 adv

EC1M 6HJ Farringdon (020 7336 8898, fabriclondon. com). Sat, Jul 16, 11pm-8am. £18 adv, £19

WIN

We have a VIP table for one person and five friends, plus one drink each, to give away to Fancy presents The Summer Festival. To enter, email grabs@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Fancy Summer Festival’ by noon Wed, Jul 13.

ANSWER, TEXT, REJECT James Talk is one half of Southampton-based DJ duo James Talk & Ridney. They’ve gone from fledgling producer/DJ championed by Pete Tong to a global star, gracing the world’s biggest clubs. He tells us who they would text back, answer and reject if he got a call from: n Boy George We would answer a call from him. He’s been heavily supporting our remix of Enjoy The Ride by Roy Davis Jr so would be nice to thank him. Plus, Ridney is a huge fan of Culture Club. n Nicole Scherzinger I’d have to reject this. My girlfriend might get mad.

James Talk & Ridney

(Although I might secretly text Nicole back later). n David Guetta We’d text David back, “See you in Ibiza! Au Revoir”.

» Azuli Presents Ibiza 11: Future Sound Of The Dance Underground, mixed by James Talk & Ridney and Olav Basoski, is out now.

OFFICIAL MEDIA PARTNER

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WORLD VIEW strange tales from around the globe Australia

‘NO HAT’ RULE INVOKED A Brisbane pub is in hot water after a patron was allegedly ejected for wearing a turban, with staff insisting he was in breach of the pub’s ‘no hat’ rule. Owners of the Royal English hotel confirmed an incident, and a caller to ABC radio said his daughter had been with a group of friends at the hotel when one of them was asked to leave because he was wearing a turban. “We weren’t sure what happened at the time, so we were driving past on the way home and my wife dropped in,” the caller said. “The bar attendant said: ‘That’s the policy; no-one is allowed to wear a hat’. “The duty manager said: ‘No we don’t care what sort of hat it is; we don’t allow anybody to have anything on their head’.” Off to sensitivity training with you.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK follow @tntmagazine @TheRock PM workout – dominated. 16oz grilled buffalo – dominated. My woman – dominated. Just another tuesday. @DerrenBrown Last ever News of the World this Sunday – Coke and hookers already ordered for Monday. @ConanO’Brien Can you get same-sex-married to yourself? I’m asking for a friend. Named “Shmonan.” With nonrefundable tickets to NY.

Pim: not a good driver

Holland

DUD DRIVERS CRASHES

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swerved off the tarmac and ploughed straight into both a cameraman and Nicolai. Luckily no-one was seriously injured in the smash which occured when Pim took his eyes off the road and ran over traffic cones. In a split-second the car left the road and headed toward the nearby crew as Pim closed his eyes and hoped for the best.

United Kingdom

SEX PEST GIRL SENT PACKING A teenage girl has been evicted after neighbours complained about her noisy sex sessions. Kirsty Bloomfield, 18, must quit

her terraced council house where cops were called almost daily over her swearing and abusive behaviour. Ex-neighbour Siobhan Duke, 36, moved away in despair.She said: “We could hear her having sex every night.” Another neighbour in Colchester, Essex, who asked not to be named, said: “The screaming was really prolonged.” Bloomfield was ordered to pay more than £1000 unpaid rent at the town’s county court. She did not attend the hearing. Probably out back in the alley with her legs in the air.

‘It sounds like chimpanzees at a casino’

Getty Images, Thinkstock Images

A contestant on the Dutch TV show Who Is The Worst Driver In The Netherlands? has gone the extra mile to secure the title, running down a TV presenter during filming for the final episode. Television personality Ruben Nicolai was standing to the side of a ‘braking from speed test’ when the contestant known as ‘Pim’

Suck it in: the contestants in Miss Universe Australia look like they could do with a chicken parmigiana and a couple of pints. For the record, the blond on the left came out on top. Her name is Scherri-Lee Biggs. Wonder if she wants world peace.

Porn is hard to smuggle into jail in a birthday cake

United States

INMATE NEEDS HIS PORN

Hours between the birth of twins Seth and Preston Campbell. That was one intense labour for their Surrey mum

5000

Pounds fleeced from the bank account of Ryan Giggs’ former mistress, Imogen Thomas

P10 London after-dark cinema P60 Discover Lisbon, Portugal

GIANT WOMBAT FOUND

United Kingdom

SPONGES AT DAWN Carnival organisers banned a wet sponge throwing event - for health and safety reasons. They feared they sponges might get dirty and someone could end up with grit in their eye. The event had been a traditional favourite as carnival-goers aimed sponges at unfortunate volunteers in the stocks in the Lake District town of Ulverston. But Saturday’s spectacular went ahead with water pistols, not sponges.

Palaeontologists in Queensland have unearthed a virtually complete skeleton of a diprotodon, a giant wombat-like creature known for its massive tusks and tiny brain. The diprotodon, about the size of a rhinoceros, was found on a remote cattle station in an area rich in the remains of prehistoric megafauna. The discovery of a virtually complete fossil makes it one of Australia’s most significant prehistoric discoveries. “It was the biggest of them all – the biggest marsupial that ever lived on any continent,” one of the researchers, Professor Sue Hand, a palaeontologist at the University of New South Wales, told Australian Geographic. “It was a bit like a wombat but looked more like a massive, rhino-type beast ... We’ve found the skull and jaws, as well most of the rest of the skeleton. It’s a really good specimen.”

Getty Images

And finally... BODICE RIPPERS According to a British medical journal, romantic novels pose a threat to women’s sexual and emotional health. A commentary blasts these formulaic books

for failing to promote safe sex and encourage patience in achieving female orgasm – and for defining the success of a relationship as the ability to crank out babies.

Years spent by an Arkasas shih tzu with another family before being reunited with her real owner in the same town

Hot dogs eaten, in just ten minutes, by Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, who won his fifth World Hot Dog Eating Contest

æ 25

Australia

‘Watch out – he’s got a sponge’

7 Organiser Ralph Spours said: “We decided that it would make better sense to use super-soakers instead. “When the sponges were landing on the ground, they were landing in dirt and grit, being put back in the water butts and thrown again and there was a danger that people could get grit in their eye.”

Dangerous

NEWS & SPORT

A prisoner in Michigan claims he is being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment because he can’t have pornography. In a handwritten lawsuit, Kyle Richards, 21, claims his civil rights are being violated at the Macomb County Jail. Richards says denying his request for erotic material subjects him to a “poor standard of living” and “sexual and sensory deprivation”. The Michigan Department of Corrections told the Detroit News that prisons allow some pornographic material, although it’s banned at this particular jail. Richards, though, is none too bright a spark. He was charged with bank robbery after police followed a trail of snowy footprints and dropped money to his apartment from a bank robbery scene in January in Fraser, north of Detroit.

WEEK IN NUMBERS

Years Alan Kimber spent building Phonehenge, his DIY village in the Mojave Desert, before it was torn down

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

think “of Iher like a sister, she feels so real to me … I will actually just miss being her

”

Emma Watson on playing Hermione Granger for the last time. Nauseating, much?

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS Phone-hacking allegations proved fatal to Murdoch’s News of the World but recriminations should not be limited to one newsroom WORDS TOM STURROCK

ritain’s tabloid press has a wellearned reputation for skullduggery, for bending the rules, for blurring the ethical line in the hunt for a scoop. But last week’s revelations that News of the World hacked the phones of private citizens – including murdered teen Milly Dowler and the families of 7/7 victims – catapulted public revulsion to new heights. Mapping the implications of the scandal, Charlie Beckett, director of the London School of Economics’ journalism thinktank, insists News of the World proprietor Rupert Murdoch bears ultimate responsibility. “It extends from one paper to the whole organisation and then to the police. And it’s both political and financial. There’s this commercial rivalry with the BBC and other newspapers,” Beckett says.

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“Murdoch wasn’t a popular chap before, but he’s now synonymous with one the most ghastly incidences of journalistic misdemeanour. That might seem unfair but, in this country, the guy at the top, if it happens on his watch, whether he’s complicit or not, he’s responsible. “I think, with all of that, it’s one of the worst media scandals of the past 50 years.” Milly Dowler’s family

THE PRESS Perhaps the most dire allegation against the News of the World is that, following Milly Dowler’s disappearance in 2002, journalists accessed her mobile phone voicemail. Hoping to pre-empt the police investigation, journalists listened to Dower’s messages and then, when the memory was full, deleted messages so new ones could be recorded, tampering with evidence while also giving Dowler’s family false hope she might be alive. “News International will argue it was one person, or a couple of rogue journalists,” Beckett says. “But that doesn’t hold much water – it’s difficult to believe that other people didn’t know because newspapers are pretty tightly run places. “Critically, public opinion has shifted. In the past, they’ve been quite hypocritical, though. They claim to revile the tabloid

HEADS TO ROLL

This is the true “ face of Murdoch, so let’s get him ”

Getty Images

media, but then go and buy four million copies of News of the World on Sunday.” The newspaper had been implicated in phone-hacking scandals before, but previous targets have been less sympathetic, celebrities and politicians rather than grieving families. “That’s the difference,” Beckett says. “When it’s celebrities and politicians, a lot of people think it’s fair game, but when you have private citizens – missing teenagers, families of terrorism victims and war dead – these people shouldn’t have their phones interfered with.”

THE POLICE The methods allegedly employed by News of the World journalists to obtain private phone numbers remain sketchy. Sometimes private investigator Glenn Mulcaire was deployed to do the dirty work; on other occasions, journalists bought information from police. According to Beckett, the conduct of officers, and the subsequent lethargy of the Metropolitan police investigation, is just as troubling, perhaps more so, than the actions of the journalists. “All of this information, it doesn’t seem like it was hidden away in a vault

NEWS & SPORT

Rebekah Brooks was the editor of News of the World at the time the alleged phone-hacking offences occurred, and now faces increasing pressure to resign as CEO of News International. But Brooks (below) enjoys the support of Murdoch and released a statement last week, saying she was “sickened” by the allegations while insisting it was “inconceivable” that she knew about, let alone authorised, the hacking of phones while editing the newspaper. Her boss, Rupert Murdoch, is notoriously stubborn, but will his loyalty to one of his favourite proteges survive the clamour for one of the senior heads to roll?

Violated: familes of 7/7 victims had their phones hacked

Too cosy: opposition to Murdoch’s takeover of BSkyB has been galvanised

somewhere,” he says. “Police could have found out about it earlier and that speaks to a collusion between journalists and police officers who were benefitting materially, and perhaps even politically.” Outrage at the transgressions of the News of the World has been accompanied with calls for tighter regulation of the British press. But Beckett points out that relevant laws already exist. “The idea that all tabloid journalists sit there hacking people’s phones all day is not correct,” he says. “And it’s so illegal already that you don’t need new laws – you need more pressure on editors and a stronger press complaints body.”

THE POLITICIANS The third dimension of the News of the World scandal, beyond the misconduct of the press and the police, is the political fall-out. Murdoch has his share of enemies in British politics but also plenty of allies. And the to-andfro over a public inquiry, over whether last week’s revelations

should delay Murdoch’s takeover of BSkyB, can be understood as a struggle between these two factions, being fought now on a profoundly altered landscape. Prime minister David Cameron, as much as anyone, is compromised by relationships with News International powerbrokers, having hired one former News of the World editor, Andy Coulson, as his communications director, and enjoying a cosy relationship with another, Rebekah Brooks, now CEO of News International. “I’m a bit surprised Cameron hasn’t copped more stick over it, the fact he’s best friends with Rebekah Brooks and has Christmas dinner with her,” Beckett says. “He’s been quite cavalier in bringing some dangerous tabloid people into his world. “Murdoch has been rotten to quite a few politicians,” Beckett adds. “And now they’re saying, ‘we’ve had it with this guy and don’t like him being so powerful. This is the true face of Murdoch, so let’s get him.’”

Dirty work: private investigator Glenn Mulcaire

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights

Blacking up? More like too much fake tan

Jahn Vannisselroy jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

BBC/Princess Pictures

he reaction of a group of US hip hop MCs and journalists who took a (figurative) shot at Chris Lilley, creator of the show Angry Boys, for his portrayal of an American rapper, is laughable. For those who came in late, Lilley plays a character called S.mouse – a talentless, privileged ‘rapper’ who uses the same old beats and delivery to skite about himself and his (irrelevant) position in the hip hop scene, over and over again. Our heroic group of experts, rather than smirk in recognition at some of the truths in Lilley’s performances, immediately produced the race card. You see, Lilley wears dark makeup when playing S.mouse. Apparently, this echoes ‘blackface’, an appallingly racist movement in which, until the 1960s, white US men entertained other white folk by performing as stupid black minstrels. But Lilley’s joke is not that the character is black – the joke is that a suburban kid thinks he’s a hardhitting gangsta rapper with something to say. The message is that just because someone is black, it doesn’t mean they have to adopt the stereotypes of black rappers – misogonistic, materialistic and being ‘down with the street’ – promoted by the music industry.

If Lilley is making fun of anyone, it’s impressionable idiots without a true sense of identity. Allegations of racism in a situation like this, like a false cry of rape, serve only to create unnecessary suspicion in genuine cases. If our angry boys really wanted to cause a stir maybe they should point to another Lilley creation, Gran – an old-school, white, Australian guard at a boys’ prison. Gran’s liberal use of terms like “darkies” and “coco-pops” towards Aboriginal kids is a dig at the casual racism that exists among an illeducated level of many societies. But the worry is, used too often in a comedy show, such portrayals of white ‘superiority’ lose their sting and simply help to normalise such ugly attitudes. How about putting that to a beat, boys? Peace.

HEY TABLOID PAPERS, CALL ME Like a Catholic schoolboy left unmolested by the local priest, my first reaction to the phonehacking scandal was, ‘What’s wrong with me? Why haven’t I been targeted?’

I got it when “it was only celebrities ” I could understand when it was just celebrities being hacked but now that even the public have had their mobiles tampered with, I figure my life must be far too boring. It’s not as if I haven’t tried either – leaving my old Nokia at pubs, houses and even on

a garden fence in the hope that someone will infiltrate it and make me feel important. When the neighbour’s cat was killed by a hit-and-run driver I called him and offered my condolences. It was the sort of boring, nothing-to-belearnt-here convo the News of the World journalists would listen into – simply because they could. But they didn’t. So, like the rejected Catholic schoolboy, I can’t tell you what it’s like to be violated. However, let’s hope the real victims do get a hefty payout, rather than the offender sneaking off, only to pop up elsewhere in a different guise – and get off scot-free.

P14 Instant art buff P70 Trek in Nepal

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NEWS & SPORT

Angry rappers bark up the wrong tree

SPORT VIEW bite-sized action and analysis Cricket

WHITE TO MISS ODIs Big-hitting batsman Cameron White has been dropped from the Australian ODI squad to tour Sri Lanka next month, with a Test series to follow. White was retained as Twenty20 captain, but missed out on a spot in the 50-over squad, in which David Hussey and Shaun Marsh were preferred. White was always going to be in the crosshairs followng his lean run at the World Cup on the sub-continent. “It is no secret I haven’t been in the best of form of late but I was hopeful I would still be in the squad. It’s definitely a kick in the guts,” White said. “I don’t have a lot of cricket for a little while now. “Outside of a couple of T20 games I will be back playing for Victoria and scoring as many runs as I can.”

P21 Celebrity news P48 Learn while working

Rugby union

CUP SALES BOOMING Rugby World Cup organisers in New Zealand said last week that ticket sales for the tournament had reached one million and were on track to reach an overall target of 1.35million. Rugby New Zealand 2011 chief executive Martin Snedden said there had been strong demand from fans in recent weeks as tickets for matches moved from Christchurch after February’s devastating earthquake went back on the market. More than 100,000 other tickets had been sold since Monday, when the final tranche of tickets were released. “This is a fantastic result and is about

Eagles back in business: the West Coast Eagles were a rabble in 2010, finishing last. But they’ve bounced back impressively, look certain to make the finals and could even push for a top-four spot after beating Geelong on Friday night.

where we expected to be with little over two months until the tournament kicks off,” Snedden said. Snedden has previously said he considers a smooth-running tournament more important than an All Blacks victory.

Australian rules

BIG WEEK FOR ....... ■ Joel Parkinson has been chasing

Collingwood president Eddie McGuire has declared Nathan Buckley will be “running the show” at Collingwood next season. On the day the Herald Sun revealed fresh talks had failed to define Mick Malthouse’s role as director of coaching, McGuire said Buckley would definitely be the man in charge in season 2012. “Let there be no mistake, the senior coach is the senior coach. Nathan Buckley is running the show next year, so that’s that from a coaching point of view,” McGuire told Triple M radio. “The roles of what director of football and what the senior coach look like are evolving, and to be perfectly honest people are saying, ‘Why didn’t you announce this two years ago?’”

GOULD IN CODE WAR New Penrith general manager Phil Gould is on the front lines of code war as the AFL begins its aggressive expansion into Western Sydney. And Gould is demanding the NRL does more to help his club keep the AFL at bay. Gould met with league boss David Gallop after Kevin Sheedy, coach of the new Western Sydney side, penned a personalised letter to 5000 primary schoolers enrolled in after-hours Auskick programs, imploring them to continue their adventure in the rival code and offering free memberships to keep them interested. Phil Gould

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a surfing world title for more than a decade and is right up there again this year, sitting second in the standings behind Brazilian Adriano De Souza. This week, the tour heads to Jeffreys Bay in South Africa, where a strong performance from Parkinson can really set him up for a crack at the world championship. With 10-time world champion Kelly Slater perhaps not as fiercely motivated as in previous years, this could finally be Parkinson’s chance for glory.

EDDIE BACKS BUCKS

Rugby league

Carlton vs Collingwood is sure to set pulses racing

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

ever seen in the attacking game

”

Former Wallaby Rod Kafer goes right over the top in his praise for Quade Cooper. Surely it’s too early for that

He said he “wanted to go to a team that was going to win the competition – I think he picked the wrong club Preview … Arch rivals clash CARLTON V COLLINGWOOD Saturday 5am, ESPN Even when one of these bitter rivals is flying and the other is struggling, the clash retains the power to inflame passions. So, in a season when both are on track for a top-four finish, the stakes will be particularly high. Expect the crowd at the MCG to push 90,000, creating a finals-like atmosphere. The early exchanges are sure to be frenetic as well, with Carlton likely to throw everything at the reigning premier. The Magpies are firming to go back-to-back with each passing week and, with Geelong suffering some mid-season wobbles, Carlton could well emerge as the main threat to a Collingwood double. It’s hard to see the Blues gettting the better of Collingwood, though. The Magpies are an

even side, with guns on every line, while Carlton remain dependent on their blue-chip midfield, led by skipper Chris Judd, who will have to be at his big-game best if Carlton are to cause an upset. Up forward, Carlton still lack the keyposition players to worry opposition defences. Their small and medium forwards, like Eddie Betts, Jeff Gartlett and Andrew Walker, have been brilliant, but Collingwood will back their high-intensity gameplan and pressure skills to tighten the screws and chop off the supply of loose footy at ground level. It should still be a cracking game, but the Blues will likely be found wanting. Quite simply, they’re not yet at the Magpies’ level. That said, this match could provide a fascinating preview, with another clash between these sides possible come finals.

”

Cronulla Sharks coach Shane Flanagan on Blake Ferguson’s decision to join the struggling Canberra Raiders

We go about our business playing footy and doing our job, but Origin is a lot more than just another game

“

”

Outgoing Queensland skipper Darren Lockyer (below) on the importance of his last State of Origin series win

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The Chat … HO-HUM TRI-NATIONS SERIES When is it starting? The first match is on July 23 and the shortened six-match series runs until August 23. Given the World Cup is just around the corner, this year’s Tri-Nations looks likely to be more or less forgotten. Will it be Mickey Mouse? Well, you can be sure the All Blacks will still be pretty sharp, with the likes of Dan Carter (right) keen to find the

winning habit before the business end of the season, but South Africa don’t seem too fussed about it, having ruled out 21 players because of injury. They could be genuinely hurt? Sure, some of them might be but, more likely, South Africa have decided to keep their stars in cootton wool, essentially abandoning all hope of giving the Tri-Nations a real shake this year.

TV HIGHLIGHTS RUGBY UNION Sharks v Bulls Saturday 4pm, Sky Sports 3 Bumper Currie Cup clash MOTOGP German GP Sunday 10am, British Eurosport 2 Can Casey Stoner extend his lead? FOOTBALL Women’s World Cup final Sunday 7.45pm, British Eurosport Don’t be mean – they’re handy players

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OUR VIEW TNT puts the world to rights NEWS & SPORT

Big Bash kerfuffle remains a mystery

The Melbourne Renegades have signed Pakistani all-rounder Shahid Afridi

Tom Sturrock tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

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o you think you know what Australian cricket is all about? Well, those cherished, time-worn convictions may begin to look pretty tattered when Shahid Afridi, of the Melbourne Renegades, trundles in to bowl to Chris Gayle, of the Sydney Thunder, this summer. This, of course, is all part of the revamped Big Bash, Australia’s domestic T20 competition. Certainly, Cricket Austalia aren’t shy of trying new things; after the absurd split-innings 45-over format that was trialled last summer and promptly scrapped, the Big Bash has established eight brand new teams, with two in Melbourne and Sydney. And, in order to fill the spots, international stars are being drafted in for a pretty penny. And, naturally, this will be launched amid much fanfare later this year. Organisers will breathlessly explain how it’s the newest, most exciting thing on the planet and cricket fans will be expected to show up in their droves and tune in by the thousands. Is this really what Australian cricket has been reduced to? This hit-and-giggle rebranding exercise, where cricket is nothing more than a shop window for KFC and whichever other sponsors jump on

board? Twenty20 is inane enough to begin with, but do Cricket Australia really expect fans to give a toss over whether these confected, cobbled-together franchises win, lose or draw? It’s all so shamelessly commercial, so synthetic. It’s as though organisers think that if there’s enough obnoxious noise and colour, people will overlook the fact that, as a sporting contest between well-supported sides, it’s the equivalant of airline food. It’s much ado about nothing. Seriously, can you ever imagine tuning in to watch the Perth Scorchers play the Brisbane Heat, caring about the result the way you do when watching your favourite football side?

WEBBER STUCK IN SECOND PLACE Australian Formula One driver Mark Webber made a point last week of insisting that Red Bull are keen to retain his services.

and “RedWebber Bull are stiil going steady ” It came after reports that Red Bull had been sounding out former world champion Lewis Hamilton. In short, Webber was protecting his turf, announcing that he and Red Bull are still going steady.

This time last year, he was right in the hunt for the title. But now, Webber, like the plainer of two sisters, finds himself in the shadow of Red Bull teammate Sebastian Vettel, who is winning everything under the sun. So not only do Red Bull feel like they don’t really need Webber, but they also boast the fastest cars, meaning there are plenty other drivers who would happily take his place. That’s what happens when you chase the most popular guy in school.

P31 Gigs of the week P66 Top travel tips

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THE SILLY SEASON IS HERE The new Premier League season is more than a month away but comings and goings still provide plenty of drama WORDSS TOM STURROCK

Overpaid: Carlos Tevez

s though nine months of wall-towall football coverage wasn’t enough, the off-season is annexed further each year. Indeed, these days, there isn’t really an off-season. There’s the part of the year when football is played but the other part, reserved for wheeling and dealing, is just as integral to the sport, just as important in the fans’ milieu. And, as much as any year, the kaleidoscope has been given a good shake since Manchester United were crowned champions in May. And there’s still more to come. So what are the emerging stories? Which big names may yet find new homes? And what will it all mean when the Premier League circus kicks off again in August?

On the move: Cesc Fabregas

ARSENAL EXODUS Testing times for the Gunners, with several first-team regulars likely to leave. Gael Clichy is off to Manchester City and it is only a matter of time before Cesc Fabregas

makes his long-anticipated return to Barcelona. And, to top it all off, Samir Nasri wants out, with Manchester United still haggling over a fee. It will leave an enormous hole in the Arsenal line-up and, given Arsene Wenger’s unwillingness to spend aggressively in the transfer market, it’s hard to see that void being filled. Most clubs in Arsenal’s position would re-invest the transfer fees earned from selling their best players in the hope of infusing the squad with some new blueriband talent. But that is not Wenger’s way. Indeed, his insistence on developing players and playing attractive football may be his undoing. And come August: Should Arsenal fail to replace their outgoing stars, they could easily slip out of the top four for the first time since 1996, overtaken by any or all of Tottenham, Man City and Liverpool.

TEVEZ WANTS OUT In one of the most protracted transfer wrangles of recent times, Manchester

HEY, BIG SPENDER

Getty Images

City captain Carlos Tevez has indicated, once again, that he wants to leave the club to join one of the European giants, most likely Real Madrid. There was talk of Inter Milan signing him earlier in the off-season but they eventually blanched at his exorbitant wages, which at about £250,000 per week make him the highest-paid player in the Premier League. Tevez has agitated for a move before, only to stay put, but the horse seems to have bolted this time, provided Real are prepared to stump up about £40m. And come August: Tevez has been a star for Manchester City but it won’t be the end of the world if he leaves, given they’ll probably sign a handful of replacements in the meantine. They’ll just throw his transfer fee on the pile of cash and keep spending.

THE VILLAS-BOAS ERA BEGINS One of the main talking points of next season will undoubtedly be the progress of Chelsea under their new baby-faced manager Andres Villas-Boas, recruited from FC Porto. Villas-Boas, 33, represents the new breeed of manager. He never played professionally, instead pursuing a managerial career while still a teenager. Like all Chelsea managers, Villas-Boas will have a decent-sized kitty. He inherits an ageing squad but could begin by bringing in a new striker – Brazilian

NEWS & SPORT

Belts are being tightened the world over but not in the Premier League where exorbitant transfer fees are still being agreed, despite new regulations that require clubs to balance their books in order to qualify for European competition. In 2010, clubs spent £345m on transfers, but that mark looks certain to be eclipsed this year, particularly with the likes of Stewart Downing and Jordan Henderson fetching £19m and £16m respectively. Under new Financial Fair Play rules, clubs will be able to record maximum losses of €45m (£39.5m) in total during the following three years. From 2014 to 2017, the overall permitted loss will fall to €30m (£26.3m) for each three-year block monitored by Uefa. After that, Uefa hope clubs will have learned financial balance and be genuinely breaking even, with the first possible exclusions from Uefa competition taking place in 2014-15.

Ageing squad: Chelsea need an injection of youth

Tevez has “ indicated he

wants to leave

Wesley Sneijder

”

teenager Neymar or Porto star Radamel Falcao seem most likely. Either signing could be a forerunner to Didier Drogba leaving Stamford Bridge, with a return to Marseille increasingly on the cards. And come August: The top sides in the Premier League are all managed by experienced campaigners, meaning VillasBoas sticks out like a sore thumb. A series of bad buys would put him under pressure at the start of his time at Chelsea but, more likely, he will be given the time and the resources to revitalise the London club.

COMING FROM THE CONTINENT? French striker Karim Benzema, currently at Real Madrid, has long been linked with a move to England and if dislodged by the arrival of Tevez, there would more than a few English clubs keen to sign. Equally, Dutch playmaker Wesley Sniejder has attracted interest from Chelsea and the Manchester clubs, although Inter Milan will be demanding a pretty penny. Brazilian midfielder Kaka has been in and out of form at Real Madrid and time may be running out for him to make a big-money move to England. And Alexis Sanchez, Udinese’s Chilean striker, is one of the big fish in the transfer market. Clubs are queueing up for his signature. And come August: For every expensive signing that makes a splash, there’s will be a big-money flop who can’t get a kick in a stable and does nothing but complain about the English weather.

Andres Villas-Boas

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CAREERS & MONEY 48

The Government of Western Australia Manager Skilled Migration – UK & Europe Western Australian Government Office, London The Government of Western Australia seeks to appoint a Manager Skilled Migration – UK & Europe to lead its efforts to attract skilled migrants to Western Australia. This position is based in the Western Australian Government Office in London. The Manager Skilled Migration – UK & Europe is responsible for promoting the state of Western Australia as a destination of choice for skilled migration and for providing information about visa pathways to potential migrants across the UK and some European markets. The selection criteria for the role are: • Well developed written and oral communication skills, including the ability to undertake client interviews with stakeholders from a diverse range of backgrounds • Ability to establish and maintain strong customer networks • Demonstrated ability to undertake research, evaluation and planning • Demonstrated capacity to develop and deliver key marketing strategy and initiatives • Sound understanding of Western Australia’s economic position and lifestyle • Awareness of Australian migration policy.

ARE YOU JOB HUNTING?

The position comes with a competitive salary. Please email Jodie.wallace@dtwd.wa.gov.au to request a copy of the Job Description form and for any other information regarding this position.

Visit tntjobs.co.uk for vacant positions in all industries across the UK, Australia and New Zealand.

Applications should include a comprehensive resume and a 4 page statement relating their skills, experience and abilities in the context of the selection criteria above.

At tntjobs.co.uk you’ll find out how to land your perfect job, an A-Z list of employers, job alerts, career news and information, visa advice and details of recruiters.

Applications will only be accepted by email to: Jodie.wallace@dtwd.wa.gov.au Applications close 5pm, Thursday 21 July 2011 GMT. Pro forma, late or faxed applications will not be accepted.

Solving your recruitment problems!

tntjobs.co.uk THE SAVANNA T: 0208 971 9177 www.thesavanna.co.uk The Savanna is the largest retailer of South African and Zimbabwean products in the UK. We sell over 600 products, have our own in-house butchery, and have recently opened our sixth store in Victoria station.

BEST OF THE WEB JOB OF THE WEEK: Assistant Store Manager Location: Central London Salary: Competitive We are looking for staff with 1-2 years retail experience. Please only apply if you have a knowledge of SA/Zim products. Excellent customer care and a fun personality required. Immediate start Marie Gardshol | marie_gardshol@yahoo.com

GLOBAL CAREER COMPANY T: 020 8834 0300

JOB OF THE WEEK: Business Development Manager Location: London Salary: Competitive

www.globalcareercompany.com/en/join-our-team

Business Development Manager will be an integral part of the Business Development Division and will be responsible for working across emerging markets to develop our business particularly in Africa and Asia.

Global Career Company is an international recruitment consultancy that specialises in recruiting internationally-based candidates predominantly from Africa back into jobs within their home countries for global brand clients.

Joanna Wieczorek | 020 8834 0324| joanna.wieczorek@globalcc.net

TNT PUBLISHING www.tntjobs.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Social Media Coordinator Location: London Salary: TBC

TNT Magazine is the UK’s leading publisher of titles for travellers predominantly from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa and is currently looking to recruit for a Social Media Coordinator.

You will work to grow TNT’s social media presence by interacting with clients and readers/users across Facebook, Twitter, and other developing platforms including resources such as blogs, newsletters, event and competition listing websites. Please send your CV and covering letter to: careers@tntmagazine.com with "Social Media Coordinator" in the subject line.

LOOKING FOR YOUR NEXT JOB? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY tntmagazine.com

CAREERS Brisbane: it could be your new home

CAREERS & MONEY

ON THE JOB ANNA DOYLE Career Arts producer and programmer, CREATE festival Age 35 Lives Hackney From Helsinki How did you get into your line of work?

My Dad, Eddie Ray Doyle, an inventor and electrician, would take me every weekend to galleries, museums and the cinema when he moved to London. That inspired me to move here and study film. The CREATE festival, celebrating creativity in East London allows me to work with artists, and those who run great venues, and it’s a real pleasure. What do you do day to day?

A lot of time is spent on the phone with PR and marketing teams, event partners, artists, guest speakers and our main sponsor, Deutsche Bank.

Score an overseas job R

epresentatives from some of the biggest employers in New Zealand, Australia, Canada and the Gulf states arrive in the UK this week on a mass recruitment drive. They will convene under one roof at the Working In expo, hoping to entice skilled workers in everything from health care to engineering back to their shores. The event, which includes seminars about visas and relocation, property, money

transferal and lifestyle expectations, is ideal for anyone considering returning home or working elsewhere in the world. Lucy Woods, who moved from Essex to Brisbane after a previous expo said it “cleared all my doubts and I even got some really important contacts to get me started.” Employers and recruitment agencies are desperate to attract skilled workers. Some have been known to hire as

many as 30 people at the event. Paul Goddard, author of New Life in New Zealand, will also be on hand to share his own experience of moving abroad.

MIGRANTS FAVOURED

BOSSES INCOMPETENT

COST-CUTS A BURDEN

Employers slammed Iain Duncan Smith’s call to hire British workers over economic migrants as “racist” and a “political act” to scapegoat foreigners for a lack of jobs. Employers also say British workers often don’t have the right skills and attitude.

A survey found 55 per cent of employees don’t think their managers are competent in their roles. A further 38 per cent reports their boss thinks they are good at what they do. The Chartered Management Institute said this led to poor morale in a workplace.

British employers paid out an average of £9362 per redundant worker in 2010 – roughly 18 weeks’ salary. City law firm Wedlake Bell described the £4.4bn national burden of cost-cutting as “staggering”. Redundancies are expected to continue in the public sector.

» Novotel London West, W6

8DR. Jul 16, 10am-4pm, Jul 17, 10am-3pm. £15. (workinginaustralia.com)

tntjobs.co.uk Sign up for job alerts and get more career advice at tntjobs.co.uk

What’s the best part of your job?

Meeting interesting and intelligent people and being able to support and produce innovative projects that hopefully progress the artists work and have a lasting effect on the neighbourhood they are in. What’s the most challenging?

There are not enough hours in the day.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

0870-898 8996 tntforex.com tntmagazine.com

MOVING FORWARD Learning on the job can be the shot in the arm you need to claw your way out of a career rut WORDS REBECCA KENT

tudying for a formal qualification based on the projects you already undertake at work can provide a much-needed boost for a stagnating career. Undertaking a course in your spare time can also illuminate a world of professional possibilities. Here’s how to go about it.

WORK-BASED LEARNING If you’ve got career development on your mind but you don’t want to take time out to study, then you’re probably a perfect candidate for workplace learning. It’s a nifty way to combine study with your job, as all the skills and experience you already have count. Plus, as David Williams, of Middlesex University’s Institute for Work-Based Learning, explains, because you can study on the job in a way that benefits the company you work for, your boss is likely to offer their full support. “Let’s say you work in retail, you would carry out projects that focus on challenges for you, your employer or for the retail industry as a whole,” says Williams. “For instance, one of our students decided to carry out a project analysing the supply chain their company uses and looked at the way this impacted on the business as a whole. “Because you can provide really useful research, such as this, or solve a business problem, this is a great way to raise your profile in your company.”

Take action: learning can enhance a job you already really enjoy

MUSIC TO HER EARS Former cruise ship vocalist Michelle Banks used work-based learning to kickstart a teaching career. She is currently undertaking a BA (Hons) Professional Practice (Arts) – specifically designed for people in the creative industries who need to top up existing higher education qualifications. She looks

Progression : work-based learning can help you up the career ladder

CAREERS & MONEY 51 forward to progressing from her part-time role as a teaching assistant to being able to run a class on her own. She says: “There’s a surprising focus on your own professional ambitions, which is helping me find out a lot about myself. Plus, I enjoy that I’m ultimately responsible for my own learning and progression.”

TNT Images

ADAPT YOUR ROUTINE As well as people like Banks, work-based learning suits busy professionals who must respond to the rapidly changing skill and knowledge needs in their industry. Everything from diploma, degree postgraduate and doctorate courses are offered. But no matter how menial you may consider your job, or irrelevant a qualification, work-based learning can be customised to suit just about anyone. Williams does warn that you should be prepared to make adjustments to your regular working day and agree on a level of time-commitment with your boss. A Masters can be achieved in as little as 15 months, and a BA/BSc (Hons), two years. “One of the real benefits of work-based learning is the flexibility. Rather than attending lectures every week, you team up with an academic advisor who you contact when it suits you. “Alongside speaking on the phone, academic advisors are experienced at using the online environment, emails or web-based resources to help you out.” STUDY WHILE WORKING Studying outside of work while holding down a full-time job sounds onerous, but it can be a springboard into a new industry. Open learning, otherwise known as learning by correspondence, involves receiving your course materials electronically or by post. A tutor is always on hand to support you. Many such courses are also available to undertake in a flexible learning format, where you attend a college, adult education centre or other course provider

A double act: work, study, or both?

at times agreed by you and the centre. On most open learning and home study courses you’ll work at your own pace and fix your own deadlines. This can be a big advantage and it suits a lot of people, but it also means you have to keep yourself motivated and this can be difficult, especially if you have work full time.

ATTRACTIVE PROPOSITIONS If you think you can set yourself targets and stick to them, then take a look at what’s on offer from venues like the Open University (open.ac.uk), National Extension College (nec.ac.uk), LearnDirect (learndirect.co.uk) and Open College of the Arts (oca-uk.com). Many offer workbased learning as well. Reputable course providers will be accredited and recognised by the Open and Distance Learning Quality Council (ODLQC) IT’S A MONEY GAME Education is not cheap, but with the flexibility to work, at least you won’t be destined for destitution. In a work-based learning format at Middlesex University, a BA/BSc (Hons) course costs from £4090

and an MA/MSc course from £5560. At the Open College of the Arts, a BA (Hons) in photography and a BA (Hons) in engineering can set you back close to £5000, and a management diploma at the National Extension College about £2500. In open learning, if you can convince your boss that your career development is also beneficial to the company, they might just stump up the cost. Failing that, banks offer professional and career development loans to fund learning that enhances your job skills or career prospects.

» Middlesex University (mdx.ac.uk) will hold a post-grad open day on August 10 and an under-graduate open day on September 24. For more on learning while working see nextstep.direct.gov.uk Flexible : where there’s a will, there’s a way to learn

PRACTICE CAUTION Before embarking on study, swept away by dreams of starting a new career path, do your research – it may be that you might not need any training at all. Firstly, think carefully about the type of retraining you might do; try to choose an industry where the skills will be in demand long-term. The more specific the training, the greater the danger that it will become outdated quickly. Talk to employers, recruiters and other workers in the field you wish to switch to to get a realistic image of what the job

will involve. Discuss the qualification you are considering and ask them for their opinion on whether they think it would be of any use. You can even talk to students who have done the course. It might seem like a heavy time investment, but if you can, shadow a worker in the job you want. It’s better to waste a week than four years of your life on a course you end up hating.

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MONEY CAREERS & MONEY

Olympic earner: homes close to Stratford can command high rents

WHERE DOES YOUR DOSH GO?

Grant Ridley

Games an owner’s market ondon homeowners should begin to consider renting our their homes to visitors during the Olympics, accommodation experts say. Organisers have already booked out 40 per cent of all hotels in central London for officials, sponsors and media, and many of London’s

MAKES YOUR MONEY GO FURTHER MAKES YOUR CASH GO FURTHER

She warned of a flurry of booking activity over the next few weeks for hotels, B&B’s and rentals, but suggested a home rental would offer groups or families better value for money. Homeowners should seek an independent valuation, she added.

BANKS ARE WINNERS

MACHINE GIVES GOLD

First Direct, HSBC’s internet banking branch, and the Cooperative bank have been voted by Which? as the best savings providers in the UK. Neither had a reputation for the best rates, but their ability to couple competitive rates with excellent service proved a winning combination.

A vending machine dispensing gold has been installed at Westfield London. The ‘Gold to Go’ machine distributes 24 carat gold in various weights ranging between one and 250 grams. Prices are updated every 10 minutes via in internal computer. A gram of gold now costs £47.

I don’t. But I don’t spend more than I earn and I still eat or prepare most meals from home. Any money-saving tips for when you first arrive?

Doss. Learn to cook and eat from the supermarket. Be broke but don’t go into debt. There’s lots of cool free stuff in London – find it. Walk. Last big blowout?

Three days in Iceland for the four-o, followed by four weeks in NZ with the Kiwi missus for a mate’s wedding, and some monster catch ups. What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Food, glorious food. Also the pub, golf, gig tickets, Crystal Palace tickets, wife.

BOOZE A BUBBLY FAN, THEN? Like professional gambler Don Johnson - who spent £120,000 on a midas of champagne after watching Bon Jovi – celebs also piss their dosh up the wall ... » Cheryl Cole spent £40K on has an estimated fortune of booze during a shindig for her 28th birthday in June. » Kate Moss and Jamie Hince lavished their wedding guests with bubbly and treats worth £1m in a three-day bender. » Real Madrid footballer Christiano Ronaldo, who Pop: stars splash out

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How do you budget in London?

£153m keeps his friends happy with £1000 bottles of champers. » It took just three hours to blow £30k on booze during a farewell party for Aussie film exec Sandra Sdraulig and someone got into a lot of trouble for it.

TNT images/Getty Images

It’s typical that when we need sunglasses the most, they get pricey. But hunt around and you can wrap up a bargain. Designer hags should visit House of Fraser on the eBay Fashion Outlet site for sizeable discounts. It has women’s Diors down from £220 to £66, and a pair of men’s Polo Ralph Laurens marked at £33.90 – £80 cheaper than the original price. Also, check out Sports Direct. They stock men’s Lee Cooper and women’s Golddigga shades for £4.99. Finally, four-eyes should hit Specsavers, for a free pair of prescription sunglasses with every pair of normal specs costing £69 or more.

premium hotels are now full. Homeowners, then, should capitalise on visitors seeking an alternative, says Joanna Doniger, founder of Accommodate London. “The best properties in the best locations can command up to £1500 per night ” she says.

Job Engineering Technician From Melbourne Lives Acton Age 40

The next career decision you take is OUR top priority. We have a range of exci ng posi ons throughout London and the Home Coun es which need your skills and exper se. We’ve extensive experience ﬁnding great jobs for candidates from around the world.

CAREERS & MONEY

Calling all Teachers and Educa on specialists…

Improve your work prospects Add the official Spanish language certificate to your CV Enrol now for Spanish, specialised and online courses and the DELE certificate.

or by email support@classroomteachers.co.uk for more informa on take a look at our website classroomteachers.co.uk

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Enjoy the sunshine this summer with YHA Great locations... on the beach Visit www.yha.org.uk or call our lovely team in the contact centre on 0800 0191 700 / 01629 592 700.

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om r f s Bed

5 1 ÂŁ

ht g i n per

TRAVEL GLOBAL VISION Festivalgoers celebrate the beginning of Pamplona’s Fiesta de San Fermin, which involves the running of the

TRAVEL

bulls. The festival was made famous by US writer Ernest Hemmingway’s 1926 novel, The Sun Also Rises. Photo by

Denis Doyle/Getty Images

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Barge Travel UK

barge in

All aboard for a relaxing cruise through the UK’s waterways WORDS MARIE TEATHER

NEED TO KNOW

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a cosy living experience but that’s all part of the charm. Rainy days become the perfect excuse to huddle inside playing card games, and when the sun shines, you can bask on the roof or walk alongside on the towpaths. To hop aboard, simply choose a UK waterway you’d like to cruise through and contact one of the region’s barge hire companies. There are hundreds of local hire companies dotted throughout the UK and each will be able to advise which boat to take, the best routes and places to moor. A narrow boat that sleeps up to four

britishwaterways.co.uk

WHEN TO GO The canals make a great year-round holiday and a wonderful way to see the countryside in all seasons. GETTING THERE You can join the canal network from various locations throughout Britain. ACCOMMODATION Three-night trips cost around £300. A week-long break cost froms £500. SEE waterscape.com and canaljunction.com

or those looking for a refreshingly different perspective on the English countryside, a barge trip on the country’s historic and picturesque network of canals may be just the answer. Prepare to glide past rolling fields; moor at quaint little pubs; flit between canalside communities; and breakfast with the company of ducks. You cannot help but relax and slow down – but that’s also because the speed limit is a gentle fourmiles per hour. Narrow bunk beds, tiny cooking hobs and compromising bathrooms make for

SHORT BREAK

TRAVEL

people will cost between £430 – £1000 per week, depending on the season and quality of the boat. You don’t need a license to drive a canal boat although you will be expected to stick to the speed limit and to follow The Waterways Code. All information will be provided at a tutorial when you pick up your boat – you’ll be cruising down the canalways in no time.

THE OXFORD CANAL Considered to be one of the most scenic waterways in Britain, the Oxford Canal links with the River Thames at Oxford and then crosses the picturesque Oxfordshire, Northamptonshire and Warwickshire countryside. Passing through the historical towns of Rugby, Banbury and Coventry, this 78-mile long canal was once a vital trade route between the Midlands and London. Allow one week to glide along this canal route.

» canalguide.co.uk

THE WORCESTER AND BIRMINGHAM CANAL For the majority of the 30mile stretch connecting the two cities you’ll pass little more than solitary lock keeper’s cottages and the odd village pub. Closer to Birmingham you’ll brush by the Dickensian Cadbury’s Factory, built in 1879. The factory relied so heavily on the waterways to receive raw materials it built their own fleet of canals and even a workers’ village – all of which can now be toured by visitors. This route can be covered in two days.

» catshill.com/wbcs

THE STRATFORD CANAL Joins the Worcester and Birmingham Canal to Stratford Upon Avon, and has 53 locks to navigate. The canal cuts through the Forest of Arden with its ancient oaks and glides gently across water meadows and has numerous Shakespearean links for literary fans. Allow three days or longer.

Cadbury’s, Thinkstock, Getty Images

» stratfordcanalsociety. org.uk

All aboard: splash out on a barge adventure

THE BEARLEY AQUEDUCT This impressive feat of Victorian engineering carries the Stratford canal on cast iron and brick pillars 11m above the fields. Built in the early 1800s, the 250-yard aqueduct is still the longest in Britain. Allow one day to tour.

» waterscape.com

THE NORFOLK BROADS The UK’s largest nationally protected wetland has had locals working and living with the marshlands since Medieval times. With more than 2500 miles of interconnected rivers and canals in the region there are a number of routes to consider. Popular start or end points include Norwich to the west of the canal network, Great Yarmouth on the east coast, or the pretty town of Wroxham. Allow anything from one-day to two weeks to cruise the Broads.

» norfolkbroads.com

BARGE ETIQUETTE

Part of the barge-trip charm is the characters and fellow boaters you’ll meet along the way. That being said, there is a waterway etiquette which, if followed, keeps the canals a laidback and relaxing experience. ■ When operating a lock that is set against you, for example, it is advisable to check that there is not a boat coming in the opposite direction that could use the lock first. ■ When passing moored boats you should reduce your speed to two miles per hour and just like on the roads, you shouldn’t be too close to a barge in front. ■ If you’re moored and need to pull out you should let those on the canals have the right of way; and when passing fisherman, go slow and in the middle. The general rule of thumb is use your common sense and be nice. What goes around, comes around.

LATE DEALS

TRAVEL

UNDER £250

Three nights in the historic Czech city of Prague is £175 with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271), including flights and B&B accommodation. Departs Aug 7. A nine-day Felucca Odyssey tour of Egypt is £119 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com), including Cairo, Aswan, Luxor, the Pyramids, the Sphinx and more. Excludes flights. Book by Jul 15. Departs Jul 23. Two nights in Amsterdam and Bruges is £209 with Anderson Tours (0207 436 9304; andersontours.co.uk), including coach travel, ferry crossings, B&B accommodation, a trip to a cheese and clog factory and half a day in Bruges. Departs Jul 15. A two-day tour of Bath, Windsor and Cheddar Gorge is £109 with Anderson Tours (0207 436 9304; andersontours. co.uk), including coach travel, B&B accommodation, a tour of Bath and Windsor. Departs Jul 16. A six-day Highlights of Russia tour is £229 (save £120) with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852, traveltalktours.com), including St Petersburg, Moscow and more. Excludes flights and local payment. Offer is based on two people booking the same tour at the same time. Departs Jul 23.

DEAL OF THE WEEK

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DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

£250 - £500

OVER £500

An eight-day Sailing Split tour is £375 (save £95) with On The Go (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Includes Dubrovnik, Korcula and more. Departs throughout Jul and Aug. A seven-day Eastern Highlights tour of Europe from Croatia to Hungary is £405 (was £410) with Topdeck Travel (0208 987 3300; topdeck.travel). Departs Sep 2. A 10-day Exotic Morocco tour is £449 with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Visit Fes, Rabat and more. Excludes flights. Departs Jul 23. A 13-day King Ramses tour of Egypt is £359 (save £90) with On the Go (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). including the pyramids, Nubian Aswan, the Philae Temple, Nile felucca sailing, Luxor and the Valley of the Kings. Departs Jul 30.

An eight-day Classic China Adventure is £864 (was £1079) with Gap Adventures (0844 272 2040; gapadventures.co.uk), including the Terracotta Warriors, Tiananmen Square and more. Departs Jul 30. A 12-day European Discovery tour of eight countries is £1071 (save £268) with Contiki (0845 075 0990; contiki.co.uk), including Amsterdam, Venice, Florence, Paris and more. Departs Jul 28. A 37-day Istanbul to Cairo overland tour is £695 plus £270 local payment with Oasis Overland (01963 363400; oasisoverland.co.uk). Excludes flights. Departs Oct 2. A seven-day Czech Mate tour of Czech Republic, Germany, Amsterdam and Belgium is £524 (was £655) with Topdeck Travel (0208 987 3300; topdeck.travel). Departs Aug 31.

*All fares are ex-London, unless otherwise stated.

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Two nights in Paris and Champagne is £209 with Anderson Tours (0207 436 9304; andersontours.co. uk), including coach travel, B&B accommodation and cross-channel ferry crossings. Departs Jul 29.

Visit Korcula on an eight-day Sailing Split tour for £375 with On The Go

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TRAVEL 61

TNT Weekender Bournemouth ENGLAND

With a reputation for some of the country’s top weather and a glut of sandy, clean beaches, this South Coast gem is worth a visit for its salty-air holiday atmosphere.

HEADLINE ATTRACTION

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Bournemouth Beach is a glorious seven-mile stretch of sand where you can swim, surf and body-board. Note that Europe’s first artificial surf reef at Boscombe is currently closed for maintenance following safety concerns. The £3.2 million underwater feature opened in November 2009, but it was criticised for not working properly. It should re-open at the end of the year. Further along the Bournemouth Coast is Southbourne, a quieter beach with a local surf school where you can hire gear and book lessons.

BEST OF THE REST Do the scenic pier-to-pier

walk from Bournemouth to Boscombe, or vice versa. Treat yourself to coffee and cake at one of the many cafes at either end.

AFTER DARK Bournemouth’s burgeoning language schools have boosted a nocturnal scene, now bursting with hip bars and clubs. For an alternative bar, swing by Sixty Million Postcards (sixtymillion postcards.com), in Exeter Road.

GO GREEN Eco-warriors can spend the night in Bournemouth with an environmentally-clean conscience by crashing at the Green Hotel. Billed as the “greenest hotel in the UK”, everything about this pad is eco-friendly, from its beds, which are made from natural materials, and its televisions - the lowest energy models on the market. Rooms cost from £140 per night.

OUT OF TOWN GET THE CAMERA OUT Climb up to Hengistbury Head for views of the white cliffs and the Isle of Wight.

LITERARY LINK Dorset is Thomas Hardy country and Bournemouth itself is home to the tomb of Frankenstein author Mary Shelley. Other literary claims to fame include the epic 18-mile long Chesil Beach, which gave Ian McEwan a name for a novel. Plus, JRR Tolkien holidayed in Bournemouth for 30 years.

Durdle Door, a picturesque and oft-photographed giant natural limestone arch near Lulworth, is essential visiting when in the area. Find more acclaimed coastal walking along the epic South West Coast Path, starting at nearby Poole. Hikers should check out the beautiful New Forest too, famous for its cute indigenous ponies.

NEXT WEEK FLORENCE

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NEED TO KNOW WHEN TO GO Bournemouth’s beaches can become choked with tourists during the summer holidays, so visit in April-May and September if you don’t like crowds. GETTING THERE Trains go regularly from London Waterloo (book a couple of weeks in advance of cheaper tickets; from £5; southwesttrains.co.uk) and marginally cheaper National Express bus (from £4; nationalexpress.com). GETTING AROUND The town is easily walkable but you’ll need a car to get to Durdle Door. SEE bournemouth.co.uk

ENGLAND LONDON Bournemouth

For a full travel guide on Bournemouth go to tntmagazine.com/travel

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HOTSHOTS TRAVEL

Hayley Madden TALKS TRAVEL PHOTOGRAPHY

WINNER PARIS FUNFAIR Emma Rowland, from Perth, Australia Emma has made a great visual play on the theme of circles in this shot. There is the whole circle of the illuminated sign, the

partial circle of the swings, the implied circular path that the actual swings make and the very squashed circle of the ferris wheel tucked in the corner. Together they lead the eye on a ride around the frame and the tiny people in the seats. Set against the huge clouds in the sky, this photo conveys

the lightness and freedom of a breezy summer’s day. HOT TIP: An implied line, like the connection between two people looking at each other, or like the path of the swings above can be just as powerful. The most famous example is the finger of Adam reaching for the finger of God on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel.

RUNNER-UP BOARD WALK WOODLAND, IRELAND Nathanael Pinder, from Australia Black-and-white shots do not have to contain the deepest shades of black and the whitest whites to make a statement. Nathanael’s forest in silvery shades of grey with a misty white has given his shot of this spindly forest an air of magic and mystery. The image focuses on the

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» Emma wins a three-day tour of Scotland for two valued at £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com; 0131 557 9393). Prize must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter.

trunks, abstracting the trees into a series of textured, vertical lines nestling in a sea of feather tufts of fern and woodland grass. HOT TIP: Infra-red film gives an effect very similar to Nathanael’s image and is great for alien-like shots. » Nathanael wins a photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk; 020 7793 8664) valued at £60

Extremely cosy and comfortable family home with 2 living-rooms, fully equipped kitchen, breakfast area, a large entertainment area outdoors with dining table and a mixture of dormitories and double rooms. Also available: cable TV, free wireless internet - games, DVD’s and Bike rental and transportation options for tours or adventure. . .

IN STYL

info@agarreomomento.com www.agarreomomento.com

Lisbon PORTUGAL

isbon is fast-emerging a leading design city in Europe, challenging the likes of Barcelona with its modern architecture, cool restaurant scene, hipster bars and edgy boutiques. It was this in mind that I find myself at Outra Face da Lua – The Other Side Of The Moon – (aoutrafacedalua.com), the city’s top vintage shop. Decked out in hippy-style decor and chock full of retro treasures, the shop also includes a chi-chi café and some trendy furniture to boot. A short walk uphill at Chiado I find an elegant, sophisticated district of theatres, bookshops, old-style cafes, art nouveau jewellery shops and luxurious international names such as Hermes and Cartier.

The LarExport - Chile Guest House We are recognised for our first class service, where you can enjoy a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere. A variety of room sizes are available, all with use of the reception, living room, kitchen, laundry and 3 bathrooms. Located in one of the most impressive areas of Lisbon, the Chile Guest House is 10 minutes from the Lower Town, an area renowned for its history and antiquity. For bookings and information please email: guesthouse_larexport@hotmail.com http://larexport.no.sapo.pt/Benvindo.html

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BOHO CHARM Although Portugal was essentially declared bankrupt yet again by the EU this spring, Lisbon is still on a comeback streak. Visitors are drawn to the ramshackle Bairro Alto – the high town accessed by breathtaking yellow funiculars. Here, the car-free streets are studded with cutting-edge clothes boutiques, second-hand bookshores and record shops, lending the area a boho, artsy feel. At night, the neighbourhood is favoured by bar-hoppers who pile into drinking

holes like Mahjong, hip places to sink a cold Sagres, Portugal’s beer of choice. But one word of warning: the Bairro’s popularity has given it an unsavoury feel after dark. Thieves and n’er’do wells prowl. Lisbon is the home of the chancer: back in Baixa blokes will try to sell you weed if you pause on an intersection and start reading a map.

PARTY TIME If you want to party in style, check out Lux (luxfragil.com). The nightclub that Hollywood star John Malkovich sank money into is a white-walled paradise with a labyrinth of connecting rooms. The mammoth old warehouse is the coolest place to dance in town. Boys Noize, Jamie XX and Sven Vath are some of the big names that perform here. The bar’s terrace looks over the river, and it was from those waters that intrepid Portuguese mariners set off all those years ago on maniacal conquests. During the lean years the waterfront went to ruin but recently it’s been reborn – at Alcantara, where Lux is – and also down at Docas, the old docks, where beautifully designed bars and restaurants sit. ART ATTACK For the best modern art in Portugal, head to Centro de Arte Moderna, a soaring,

SHORT BREAK On the waterfront: Parque Nacoes

The writing’s not on the wall: Estrela Hotel

WHERE TO EAT

Portugal’s cool capital is loaded with beautifully designed bars, restaurants and hotels WORDS CHRIS BEANLAND

■ Chocolate mousse served with olive oil and salt on top makes York House a stand-out. See yorkhouselisboa.com ■ If you want to impress, visit Michelinstarred Fortaleza do Guincho (guinchotel.pt), 15 minutes along the coast in posh Cascais. ■ Doca Peixe (docapeixe.com) is a fish restaurant set by the old docks. Ideal for a bacalau (salted cod) blowout coupled with watery sunset views.

Take a tram

Getty Images, TNT Images

WHERE TO SLEEP

modern masterpiece of a building. The permanent collection challenges the boundaries of modern art and shows that Lisbon has the excitement and verve of Barcelona or Madrid in its gallery scene. There’s work by Almada, Pinheiro and PORTUGAL Rego. There’s even a Henry Moore outside to boot. LISBON If you want to rub shoulders with Lisbon’s cool crowd, head to the LX Factory, merchant courtyard in the city in Rusa Rodrigues de Faria, in the centre that’s been restored for cultural Alcantara district, where artists have events. (facebook.com/patiodagale). Here based themselves in former industrial I feast on the freshest sushi, delectable warehouses. Swing by hip bookshop Ler Devagar, where a bright-white bicycle with clam spaghetti and mouth-watering salmon burgers – all cooked by the finest wings hangs from the ceiling. Every chefs in Lisbon. Sunday, this ‘creative city’ morphs into a market fair, selling vintage knickknacks, BOXING CLEVER rare plants and culinary goodies. Stalls Up at the Parque Das Nacoes open from 11am to 7pm. (portaldasnacoes.pt) – the site of Expo FISH FOOD 1998 – the best in modern Portuguese A food revolution has happened here architecture is striking. too: top chefs like Nuno Mendes Big concrete boxes, wonky post-modern – who’s now blazing a trail in London pavilions and the never-ending Vasco – have reinvigorated dining in Lisbon. da ama Bridge stretching into the middle Try York House for delicious fish distance spread out before you from in a minimalist, modern dining room. the seat of the park’s cable car, reflecting I mingle at Peixe em Lisboa – a festival Lisbon’s burgeoning status as a of fish at the Patio da Gale, an old stylish city.

■ The Internacional Design Hotel (internacionaldesignhotel.com) is in Rossio. The breakfast buffet features everything in miniature – from food to cutlery. Cute. ■ Perched atop a hill, Bairro Alto Hotel (bairroaltohotel.com), offers easy access to Bairro’s bars. ■ Estrela Hotel (hoteldaestrela.com) is in a former school and boasts Lisbon’s best-looking boutique rooms by far.

WHERE TO DRINK ■ Hipster hangout Mahjong (Rua da Atalaia. tel: 213 421 039) is scruffy but cool – the lights look like cabbages and the beers are on draft. ■ Pavilhao Chines (Rua Dom Pedro V 89. tel: 213 424 729) is a mad old Britishstyle pub stuffed with ephemera. Come for one and just look around as it’s pricey. ■ Chafariz do Vinho (chafarizdovinho. com) is a genuine find – a wine bar in an old water tower. Harsh concrete, modern design and sharing plates of tapas to die for.

NEED TO KNOW GETTING THERE Easyjet, TAP Portugal and British Airways fly several times daily from London (Gatwick and Heathrow) to Lisbon. Flights cost from £21.99 one-way with EasyJet. SEE visitportugal.com.

TRAVEL

EAT, DRINK AND SLEEP...IN STYLE

TIPS Go green: Drink tea over bottled water in India

READERS’ TIPS DRINK UP

TRAVEL

Reduce the cost TIP OF of bottled water THE WEEK purchases in Italian cities by drinking from water fountains. Many locals favour this chilled water over the water piped to their homes. Maria, via email

TRY STUFF

YOU ASKED FOR IT Laura Lindsay FROM LONELY PLANET I’m planning to go to India, but I don’t want to end up buying lots of plastic water bottles. Which water purification system would you recommend? Ruth, via email

for two weeks. Any tips or suggestions for travelling with parents? And could you recommend some places to visit that would cover all of our interests? Amanda, via email

It’s fantastic that you are travelling to enjoy a beautiful country and are conscious of keeping it that way. In India, as in many countries, you will be struck by the volume of litter in some areas. By purchasing bottled water you could be adding to this problem as not all establishments dispose of their waste correctly. Given these concerns, a number of travellers opt to sterilise local tap water. I would recommend the Steripen system (steripen.com) which has proven very popular with travellers on our Thorn Tree forum. The system uses ultra-violet light to sterilise tap water, making it safe to drink. Using this, you can survive the entire trip on one bottle rather than disposing of dozens of plastic bottles. Another great tip while in India is to drink tea. Some of the world’s best tea varieties are found here and as the water is boiled, it will be safe to drink.

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Tim, via email

NEW You can now text us your thoughts: Text TNT and your message to 81707* * Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ bill payers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138 Tweet your tips to @ tntmagazine or email traveltips@ tntmagazine.com. Tip of the Week wins a Lonely Planet guide and other published tips win a fiver.

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This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accept no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

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I’m planning to go on a trip with my parents who are over from New Zealand. We are travelling around Europe including France, Florence, Paris and Rome

This really depends on what your parents are like! I imagine that you are hoping to find some inter-generational attractions and I don’t think that you will have any trouble in the destinations you have outlined. Whether you are four or 40, you will most likely want to visit the major attractions of Paris, Rome and Florence. The Eiffel Tower, the Colosseum and Michelangelo’s David are global tourist drawcards and will be regardless of age. In the evening, attending a show or sporting event should entertain everyone. You can watch world-class football in Rome or sample French cinema in Paris. My top tip would be to visit some local markets – the range of goods will appeal to a variety of shoppers and the food in these destinations should not disappoint. The Marché Saxe-Breteuil in Paris is great for sampling gourmet delights while Rome’s Porta Portese flea market sells an interesting range of goods. In Florence, leave your parents checking out the ornate Duomo Cathedral while you scamper up the 82m campanile for some impressive views of this gorgeous city – but don’t be surprised if they want to come too.

There’s no point travelling if you just stick to the shallows and do all the same shit you do at home. If someone offers you weird food, try it – it’s not going to kill you. If you just stick to eating pizza and drinking coke, you miss out on all the horizon-expanding fun of travel. Trying something and not liking it is better than being too scared to try it in the first place.

TRAVEL NEWS Burma: back on the travel map

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ING HOPPgato CLUB 30/0 r Split 7 - Navi WEEK to Dubrovnik • Makarska - Arrivals Hall @ Club Deep featuring Tony Juranovic

BURMA BACK ON TRACK

• Bol - Tiki Night. Hawaiian Shirts &

Explore is re-introducing tours to Burma after a 16-year absence. The adventure travel company is relaunching the destination in response to a relaxation of the boycott on tourism to the country. “Rich in colonial history, it is almost as if Burma has been left in a timewarp. Largely untouched by tourism, it currently offers just 9000 hotel beds,” Explore managing director Ashley Toft said. After the appeals of Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi, Explore will not be using junta-owned hotels, flights or other services. The operator plans to minimise customer contact with the government as much as possible. Toft added: “In a recent interview for the BBC’s Reith Lectures, Aung San Suu Kyi

• Korcula - Dos Locos Street Party • Mljet - Captains Party @ The Dock • Dubrovnik - Slims Cocktail Mixer

encouraged (tourism) institutions to help the people of Burma, while conserving its environment.” Explore’s new two-week tour of Burma costs from £1922, including flights, B&B accommodation and transport. Trip highlights include Inle Lake, home to stilted villages and floating gardens, where fishermen are famous for the “leg-rowing” style they have developed. Travellers will also see Mandalay, the last royal capital of the Burmese kingdom, and Rangoon (Yangon), Burma’s former capital. Customers can enjoy a £100 discount on all November departure dates booked by August 15 if they quote “Burma offer” at the time of booking. See explore.co.uk.

Sharm top for scuba diving

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Sharm El Sheikh has swum to the top of a list of top scubadiving spots. In spite of Egypt’s political problems earlier this year, the Red Sea resort has increased its strength as a diver’s paradise, according to search figures by Cheapflights.co.uk. Famous for its variety of coral and first-class wreck dives, the resort’s marine life includes clownfish, sea eels and blacktip reef sharks. Sharm also boasts a lively nightlife scene, with a raft of bars and clubs.

Dive in

Australia’s Great Barrier Reef was the next popular dive site thanks to its 1500 species of fish including dolphins, sea turtles and whales. Other top dive destinations were Cuba’s Pinar Del Rio region, the Maldives and Malaysian Borneo, a hit with advanced divers.

SEXY SWEDES Sweden has been hailed the best-looking nation in the world, following closely by Brazil, Italy and Spain. That’s the verdict by holidaymakers who voted in a sunshine.co.uk poll. Also in the top 10 list of sexy countries were Australia, England, Austria, Cuba, Russia and Singapore.

VLOG ON DUDE Busabout is encouraging its past, present and future passengers to share their travel experiences with

Grass Skirts

• Vis - Mutiny Boat Party @ The Dock • Hvar - Nautica Bar & Veranda Club featuring Fredja & Baéko c Dior

@ Sky Bar featuring Slim

7 Days from £669 (Split to Dubrovnik on a Premier Boat)

4 Days from £339 (Split to Hvar or Hvar to Dubrovnik)

Other Event Dates: 24.09: Endless Summer Week 01.10: Rocktober Fest

See our website for details:

www.sail-croatia.com Aussie vloggers Louna and Stefan who will be uploading video blogs about their tour through Europe this summer. The pair will be travelling with Busabout for two months from July 7. See youtube.com/user/ Busabout TV.

DUBLIN HOSTEL Generator Hostels is offering 500 beds from £8.90 at its new Dublin hostel. Facilities include a VIP suite with its own jacuzzi, and a selfservice Guinness bar. See generatorhostels.com.

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ON THE ROAD

WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

BRISTOL BALLOON FESTIVAL

TRAVEL

Bristol, UK, Aug 11-14 It’s Europe’s biggest hot air balloon event and, weather permitting, it’s spectacular. Watch 150 multi-coloured balloons take off throughout the day and don’t miss the glowing night-flights.

» bristolballoonfiesta.co.uk

CHUNG YUAN (HUNGRY GHOST) CHINA, AUG 14 WHAT: Ghosts come from their spooky realm to mess with the living during the seventh lunar month of the Chinese calendar. Those who believe in the old superstitions will take care not to walk near water for fear of being dragged down to the underworld. Paper models of money and objects, known as ‘Hell Money’ are piled in graveyards and burnt at night. On the day of the

festival, sacrificial altars are built and food is offered to the spirits. Lanterns are floated on water to guide the dead to banquets and dances. WHERE: Throughout China. WHY: The Gates of Hell are open and the ghosts have been unable to eat.

» cnto.org

TNT online See our destination guides at tntmagazine.com/travel

ON THE ROAD WITH FRANKIE MULLIN

LOCK IT IN GRAND KADOOMENT Bridgetown, Barbados Aug 1 barbadoscropoverfestival. com

BYRON BAY WRITERS’ FESTIVAL Byron Bay, Australia Aug 5-7 byronbaywritersfestival. com.au

IL PALIO Siena, Italy, July 2 and Aug 16 A fierce bareback horse race in which jockeys are allowed to do anything bar tug their opponents’ reins. Horses often finish without riders in the frenzied dash around a central plaza.

» ilpalio.org

Where in the world?

CONWY RIVER FESTIVAL Conwy, Wales Aug 13-21 conwyriverfestival.org

WORLD BOG SNORKELLING Powys, Wales Aug 28 visitwales.co.uk

THE TRAVELLER … Henming Gocke, 24, Münster, Germany Where in the UK have you enjoyed visiting the most?

Edinburgh. It’s like being in olden times with the castle overlooking the city. I also liked Oxford; you can buy a map of a perfect pub crawl. It includes 50 pubs so we didn’t do all of them. Where should people visit in Germany.

Mike MacGillivray from Toronto, Canada at Lalibela in Ethiopia.

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Münster. There are lots of students there so it’s great for bars. It’s also near beautiful green countryside where you can mountain bike.

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Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a day trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104. » Email your pictures to ontheroad@tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.

TOP FIVE

FIVE DANGEROUS AIRPORTS JANINE KELSO GIVES A HIGH FIVE TO LIVING ON THE EDGE ST MARTIN/ST MAARTEN WHAT: The small Caribbean island of St Martin is famed for its gorgeous beaches and crazy airport. Situated right next to Maho beach, planes land just above sunbathers’ heads. Some thrill-seekers grip hold of the airport’s fence as planes takeoff and land to see if they can maintain their grasp during the intense jet blast, which causes some people to be blown into the air.

TRAVEL 69

ST BARTHS WHAT: If you like theme park rides, you’ll love landing at St Barths airport in the Caribbean. The runway begins on a hill before landing on St Jean’s beach. Sunworshippers can be spotted soaking up the rays (and the planes) on the sand strip either side of the runway.

COURCHEVEL, FRANCE WHAT: This exclusive ski resort in the French Alps has an itty-bitty runway of 525m, so pilots require special training before landing here. The airport was featured in the opening scene of Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies.

GIBRALTAR WHAT: Smack bang in the middle of Gibraltar’s airport runway is a four-land highway used by cars, bicycles and pedestrians. When planes are taking off or landing, a barrier is put down on either side. On the plus side, it’s just 500m from the city centre so you can reach your hotel quickly.

LUKLA, NEPAL WHAT: Set in Lukla – the gateway to Mount Everest – this airport is situated 2700m in the clouds and has one of the tiniest runways at 487m (compared to Heathrow’s 3600m runways). But, worse still, at the end of the runway is a 609m drop into a valley.

Getty Images, Thinkstock, TNT Images

THE INSIDER RICHARD DERBYSHIRE, CONTIKI My first big trip was to Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand for seven weeks. My most challenging travel experience is arriving at my Hanoi hotel and being told by staff that I had counterfeit US bank notes (untrue of course). My favourite place in the world is Australia's beaches

– there's no better place than home. I also love New Zealand, the Balkans, Italy, Malta, Cyprus and S.E Asia! The next trip on my travel wishlist is backpacking around Albania, Macedonia, Greece, Bulgaria and Romania. I always pack my passport and sunglasses. My guilty travel pleasure is eating the local food with a few glasses of beer or wine.

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‘I’m king of the world’

CHINA

NEPAL p

Annapurna p Mountains

p Pokhara

KATHMANDU

INDIA

NEED TO KNOW

We are a dedicated team of professionals who are passionate about showing you the very best that Nepal has to offer. n Trekking and Mountaineering n Jungle safaris n River rafting n Ticketing (domestic and Int’l)

n Hotel reservation n City sight seeing tours n Special culture tours n Tours to TIBET (MT. KAILASH), BHUTAN and INDIA.

www.gototrek.com | www.nepalpackagetour.com tntmagazine.com

WHEN TO GO During the dry season, between October and May. October and November are the best months with consistently warm days, but they are also busiest. December to February is quieter but can become cold at altitude. GETTING THERE Fly from London to Kathmandu via Delhi with Air India, Jet Airways or Kingfisher Airlines. Flights cost from £700. SEE welcomenepal.com

BIG TRIP

Do your bit for the community while enjoying a new hike through the Himalaya’s majestic mountains and terraced rice fields WORDS LISA YOUNG

Annapurna trek NEPAL Soak up the view: terraced fields

A monk in Kathmandu (above) Kopra Ridge Lodge (below)

n the early morning darkness I clamber into a taxi that will transport me from the peaceful lakeside town of Pokhara to Naya Phul, a gateway to Nepal’s Annapurna Range. Over the next few days, I will explore a new community trek route that passes through the spectacular Annapurna mountains to Kopra Ridge. This route focuses on what’s known as ‘socially conscious trekking’, which means we will stay in lodges that help support the community. The car climbs slowly out of Pokhara and 90 minutes later I arrive in Naya Phul, the start of my trek. The first part of the trail climbs deceivingly slowly, then there is an abrupt change of pace; the next two days require me to climb a steep stone staircase and rolling hills passing through small villages, forests and terraced fields to the villages of Birenthanti and Ulleri. Mule trains descend past me – a string of spindly-legged donkeys transporting huge loads of goods up and down the mountain.

PICTURE PRETTY I stop regularly to take photos and check out the views, but find myself focusing on my feet rather than the spectacular scenery. It’s hot at this lower elevation, about 30-degrees during the day, but it cools as we edge towards Kopra Ridge, the highest point on this trek. On average I’m walking six hours daily, covering up to 7kms, depending on the mountain’s incline. My goal today is Swata (2450m), a tiny village. From Ulleri my uphill slog continues for four hours, then the route leads me over a stone wall and through a small farmyard. This is where the trek changes: this area has very few tourists as it has only recently opened for tourism. For the next four days I will stay in lodges run by local communities. Funds raised by local villagers and donations from trekking businesses, such as Imaginative Traveller, have enabled the construction of the lodges. This pioneering concept creates village rather than private ownership, and profits from trekkers who

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take hike

stay at the lodges will contribute towards various community projects.

FIELDS OF GOLD The scenery here is lush and green, with ingenious contour farming and immaculately cared-for terraced fields. The ingenuity of the people here who have cultivated this land and managed to bring the terraced fields up to such elevations is to be admired. A lot of thought, too, has gone into the construction of the lodge – its rustic, spacious rooms are basic-yet-clean and have great views. I shower under hot water heated by recently installed solar panels. There is a big storm outside and there’s no power, so I dine on Momos (Tibetan dumplings) by candlelight.

Full of culture: Kathmandu

Peaceful: Phewa Lake, Pokhara

KATHMANDU VS POKHARA n KATHMANDU Kathmandu is fun, inexpensive and lively. Thamel is the main tourist area, with its narrow bustling lanes that burst with small souvenir shops, restaurants and bars. Duck into one of the many cafes and restaurants for some Momo (local dumplings). Take a visit to the magnificent Bodhinath Stupa, the Buddhist heart of Kathmandu, where pilgrims and Tibetan refugees flock. The Tibetan Refugee Centre is nearb – here you can purchase goods and know that proceeds help support the community. Nearby, at the holy Hindu temple Pashupatinath, on the banks of the Bagmati River, it’s not unusual to witness a cremation in progress. ‡Visit Dwarika’s Hotel in Batisputalli – it’s a living tribute to the architectural and cultural heritage of Nepal. Dine al fresco in the beautiful oasis of gardens – a rarity in Kathmandu. See dwarikas.com. ‡ Bhaktipur is a great place to soak up local history and culture, with an overnight visit to nearby Nagarkot for amazing sunset and sunrise views over the Himalayas. ‡An Everest scenic flight (about US$75 per person) will give you spectacular views of the majestic mountain peak. n POKHARA Pokhara is a peaceful sanctuary, a bolthole from the chaos and noise of the big smoke that is Kathmandu. ‡Pack a picnic and spend a relaxing afternoon in a rowing boat on Phewa Tal (lake), visit the small island and temple in the middle of the lake. ‡Take an Ultra-Lite Plane ride into the mountains, about $161 for 30 minutes. See aviaclubnepal.com ‡Browse the shops and dine lakeside or stop for coffee and cake in one of the many bakeries. ‡Visit a real bat cave to see thousands of live horseshoe bats clinging to the cave ceiling, Chameri Gufa, NRs10 ‡Visit nearby Sarangkot, spend the night and take in the stunning sunset views of the Annapurna Himalaya.

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ON THE UP The next day, we make our way to Upper Chistibung. It takes five-hours and 4km of steep trekking to get there. I navigate thick rhododendron forests

Birdie buddy

and rocks until I reach my home a small herder’s settlement at the top of a ridge. This is my home for the night. It’s clean, comfortable and well-constructed. Again there’s no electricity, but the herders charge their mobiles by using small portable solar panels. I dine daily on Dal Bhat – the staple diet in Nepal, generally served twice daily and consisting of rice, runny lentils and vegetable curry. Lodge menus are loaded with high carb meals from pasta, rice dishes, noodles and dumplings, with an increase in price the higher the elevation.

PEAK CONDITION Six steep hours of zig-zagging trekking fill the next day, as we climb up to Kopra Ridge (3870m). We’re now above the tree line, a less rugged setting. The best way to tackle this leg is to ascend slowly, take breaks and drink plenty of water. At the top of the ridge I’m greeted

BIG TRIP

JUNGLE FEVER The last two days of the trek descend sharply from 3448m to 2100m, a drop

ASK A LOCAL LAKPA TENJI SHERPA, TREKKING AND MOUNTAIN GUIDE, IMAGINATIVE TRAVELLER “Trekking in the Annapurna and off the beaten track enables you to see everyday mountain life. Get up early to catch the sunrise and look out for rainbows after a rainfall. I’d recommend trekking during the rhododendron season in April and May, when all the flowers come out.“

Mountain views: Kopra Ridge

NEXT WEEK: SIZZLING SPAIN Shake your flamenco booty

and enjoy a tapas tour in Andalucia.

TREKKING TIPS ® Travel insurance is highly recommended before setting off.

rate is £2 - £3 for each porter, Sherpa and guide per day from each trekker.

® Take plenty of small Nepali Rupee notes as lodges struggle to find change.

® Trek at your own pace, it’s not a race and your body needs time to adjust to altitude.

® Avoid trekking alone in remote areas, especially if you are a woman. ® Carry a dry-bag or plastic rubbish bags to protect your gear from rain.

Lisa Young

® Take two water bottles. Avoid buying bottled mineral water. Instead pay a few rupees to the lodge staff for freshly boiled water – let it cool over night. ® Tips are discretionary, but the going

Green day: rice terraces

® Drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration and prevent altitude sickness. ® Be polite and courteous to locals and fellow trekkers, ‘Namaste’ is the local greeting for ‘hello’. ® Always ask before taking photos of people. You wouldn’t like a camera shoved in your face, would you? Meet the locals

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with widescreen panoramic views of of 1,348m straight downhill for 7kms over the mountains, with Annapurna South knotted tree roots, past gushing just 6kms away and Fang and Niligiri to waterfalls, across old landslides and the north. Across the Kali Gandakhi through humid jungle. The Valley – the deepest valley in the world – temperature increases with the western skyline is totally dominated each step I take. by the Dhaulagiri Himal. Down and down I go, Kopra Ridge lodge is the highlight of through stunning scenery the community trek and profits have until the beautiful Gurung contributed to a secondary school in the village of Gandruk is nearby village of Nangi. It’s a lot cooler up reached. The mountains here, avout 10 degrees. I huddle by a fire still stand out with fas I wait for hot Dal Bhat to arrive. Annapurna South (7237m) The ridge is home to a yak herd. Machhapuchhare (6993) Watching more than 100 of the animals and Gangapurna (7455m) coming down the ridge with standing to attention the snow-dusted before me. Annapurna mountains Returning to and an incandescent Naya Phul, orange-and-red I head straight down sunset behind a stone staircase through them is nothing small farms. In contrast short of to the serene and spectacular. peaceful mountains, The following I return to Pokhara morning I rise with and onwards to the the sun and am organised chaos of soon traversing the Kathmandu. Tasty: Dal Bhat ridge along a narrow » Imaginative Traveller’s (0845 path with steep drops and 564 9868; imaginative-traveller.co.uk) rocky terrain to Bayeli Kharka 11-day Annapurna Community Lodge (3448m) 3kms away. The trail rises Trek tour starts from £495pp land only, and falls all the way. including accommodation (six nights’ My latest lodge boasts awesome views lodge, four nights’ hotel/guesthouses), of the sky-scraping Dhaulagiri Himal, transport, trekking staff services, porters with Dhaulagiri towering 8167m high and a tour leader. Flights available from above me and the 6000m deep Kali £619pp. Gandaki Gorge below.

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> 33 DESTINATIONS, 9 COUNTRIES 1 ESSENTIAL TRAVEL PASS & MANY NEW TRAVEL-FRIENDS > 14 GREAT TRAVEL OPTIONS FOR EVERY BUDGET ONE WAY AND LOOP TRIPS OR MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO ON THE FLEXITRIP

10% OFF* SAVE up to £78

> FULLY FLEXIBLE YOU’RE FREE TO GO WHERE YOU WANT, WHEN YOU WANT. START AND FINISH ANYWHERE > BUDGET BACKPACKING GET BACK TO BASICS – THE CHANGE IS IN YOUR POCKET! YOU CHOOSE WHERE TO EAT, SLEEP, DRINK, AND PARTY

Free Lonely Planet with all Hop-on * Hop-off passes and on our Italy, Spain and Eastern Europe treks

* Book by 17 July

FIND OUT MORE - NEWS & VIEWS ON FACEBOOK

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BUSABOUTEUROPE

IBIZA BLAST 4 DAY TRIP WITH PRE AND POST TOMATINA DEPARTURES FROM VALENCIA

This has got to be at the top of everyone’s ‘do before you die’ list. It’s not just a European must-do; it ranks up there as one of the world’s biggest parties! Where else can you get to drink from steins the size of your head, burp loudly to oompah music and get away with wearing lederhosen?

DEPARTS 27TH AUGUST & 1ST SEPTEMBER - £359

A LA TOMATIN

OUR DSTAAUYGUT ST VALENCIA

£55

ATS LAST FEW SE

4 ISLAND FLEXI HOPPER 9 DAYS TO 5 MONTHS FROM £229-£269

6 DAY EX LONDON OPENING WEEKEND – SOLD OUT

Mykonos, Paros, Santorini & Ios

5 DAY FLY OPENING WEEKEND – SOLD OUT 5 DAY CAMPING ONLY OPENING WEEKEND – SOLD OUT

IBERIAN ADVENTURE 7 DAYS JUNE – SEPTEMBER FROM £429-£479

4 DAY CAMPING ONLY MID WEEK 21ST SEPTEMBER £139 – LAST FEW SEATS

Seville, Jerez, Tarifa, Granada, Toledo & Lagos (Incl: accommodation)

7 DAY DEPART LONDON CAMPING FINAL WEEKEND & STUTTGART VOLKSFEST 21ST SEPTEMBER £359 – LAST FEW SEATS

ITALIAN ADVENTURE 3 DAYS MAY-SEPTEMBER FROM £169-£199

4 DAY FLY FROM LONDON 2ND WEEKEND 23RD SEPTEMBER £469 – LAST FEW SEATS

ture Italian Adven

4 DAY CAMPING ONLY 2ND WEEKEND – SOLD OUT 4 DAY CAMPING ONLY FINAL WEEKEND – SOLD OUT

WITH ALL VALID ISIC / ISE / ITIC CARDS

08450 267 514

www.busabout.com

Pompeii, Capri, Sorrento & Amalﬁ (Incl: accommodation) IBIZA ISLAND HOPPER 8 DAYS JULY-SEPTEMBER FROM £479-£529

Ibiza, Menora, Mallorca (Incl: accommodation) GROUPS OF 4 SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 SAVE 10%

info@busabout.com

Save 10% when you buy two or more qualifying trips

Scotland, Wales, Cornwall & Ireland

SAVE

ÂŁ50 Â&#x2018; ÂŁ30 Â&#x2018; ÂŁ20

10 DAYS

CORNWALL CRUSADER

COMPASS BUSTER

on selected July & August departures. Book by 17 July.

ÂŁ399 now ÂŁ349 (Students ÂŁ379

NOW ÂŁ329) Orkney, Western Isles, Isle of Skye & Loch Ness

ISLAND EXPLORER

7 DAYS

ÂŁ279 now ÂŁ229 (Students ÂŁ259

NOW ÂŁ209)

The Western Isles, Isle of Skye & Loch Ness

ÂŁ189 now ÂŁ159 (Students ÂŁ179

5 DAY

NOW ÂŁ149)

Stonehenge, Newquay, Bath & Landâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s End

3?22 Surfing Lesson on Newquay Beach worth ÂŁ30

WELSH EXPLORER

5 DAY

ÂŁ189 now ÂŁ159 (Students ÂŁ179

TRAVEL

bVQR` [NaR Y\PNY T R` * ]N``aV\YN[Q R[TYN[Q & dNY * `P\cR_ RcR_ PN[PRY * [R _RP\ZZR[QNaV\[ VQR * && RR Y\[RYf ]YN[Ra Tb * S_

CALL TO GET THE DEAL

NOW ÂŁ149)

Cardiff, Snowdonia, Brecon Beacons & Conwy Castle

ORKNEY RAIDER

ÂŁ179 now ÂŁ149 (Students ÂŁ164

NOW ÂŁ134)

Orkney Islands, Loch Ness & Highlands

HIGHLAND FLING

5 DAYS

ÂŁ179 now ÂŁ149 (Students ÂŁ164

NOW ÂŁ134)

Loch Ness, Isle of Skye & North West Highlands

SKYE HIGH

3 DAYS

ÂŁ109 now ÂŁ89 (Students ÂŁ99

NOW ÂŁ79)

Isle of Skye, Loch Ness & Glencoe

3?22

Entry to the Big Pit Coal Mine & entry into Conwy Castle

MULTI ACTIVITY ADVENTURE TRIPS Explore Scotlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wilderness by bike, hike, canoe and Kayak. INCLUDES: All equipment, support vehicle to carry gear, qualiďŹ ed instructors and max group size of 8.

THE GREAT GLEN William, Great Glen, 4 DAYS ÂŁ329 Fort Loch Ness & Inverness WEST HIGHLAND WAY Loch Lomond, 6 DAYS ÂŁ479 Glasgow, Glencoe & Fort William CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK

ddd SNPRO\\X P\Z 5.44V@.QcR[ab_R` Award Winning 3,5,7 & 10 Day Adventures Â? Mini-Group Discounts Â? 4bN_N[aRRQ 1R]N_ab_R` Â? =_RSR__RQ Of @A. A_NcRY 3YVTUa 0R[a_R A_NcRY 0BA@

TOUR IRELAND

SAVE ÂŁ50 Â&#x2026; ÂŁ30 Â&#x2026; ÂŁ20 ALL IRELAND ROCKER 7 DAYS GIANTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ROCKER 5 DAYS

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CELTIC ROCKER 5 DAYS

ÂŁ299 NOW ÂŁ249 (STUDENTS ÂŁ279 NOW ÂŁ229) GALWAY, INIS MOR & BELFAST

ÂŁ199 NOW ÂŁ169 (STUDENTS ÂŁ184 NOW ÂŁ154) GALWAY, DERRY & BELFAST

ÂŁ199 NOW ÂŁ169 (STUDENTS ÂŁ184 NOW ÂŁ154) KILLARNEY, INIS MOR/CONNEMARA

FREE STUFF: Blarney Castle / Cliffs of Moher / Giantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Causeway / Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge

FREE STUFF: Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge / Giantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

FREE STUFF: Blarney Castle / Cliffs of Moher

Causeway / Clonmacnoise early Christian monastic site

NORTHERN ROCKER 3 DAYS WESTERN ROCKER 3 DAYS ÂŁ119 NOW ÂŁ99 (STUDENTS ÂŁ109 NOW ÂŁ89)

ÂŁ119 NOW ÂŁ99 (STUDENTS ÂŁ109 NOW ÂŁ89)

SOUTHERN ROCKER 3 DAYS

BELFAST & DERRY FREE STUFF: Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge / Giantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Causeway / Battle of the Boyne site

GALWAY & INIS MOR FREE STUFF: Clonmacnoise early

GALWAY & DINGLE FREE STUFF:

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Blarney Castle / Cliffs of Moher

FREE LONELY PLANET GUIDE

GROUPS OF 4 SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 SAVE 10%

ÂŁ119 NOW ÂŁ99 (STUDENTS ÂŁ109 NOW ÂŁ89)

MORE STOPS MORE STUFF MORE VALUE

CHECK US OUT ON FACEBOOK www.facebook.com/ShamrockerAdventures

AWARD WINNING

Save 10% when you buy two or more qualifyingtntmagazine.com trips

TOURS

plus ENGLAND & WALES

5 DAYS

www.topdeck.travel/festivals

iling www.topdeck.travel/croatia-sa

FESTIVALS - BOOK NOW! DON’T MISS OUT

OKTOBERFEST CAMPING PACKAGES

FROM

£99

SEE OUR WEBSITE FOR A FULL RANGE OF TRIPS

EDINBURGH FRINGE FESTIVAL & MILITARY TATTOO ONLY

£249

THE WORLDS LARGEST ARTS FESTIVAL

8 DAYS FROM

£353

INCLUDING €20 LOCAL PAYMENT

trips for 18 to 30 somethings

L8291 / Y2992

www.topdeck.travel/deals Croatia Sailing prices includes local payment based on €1 = £0.89. Local Payment must be made locally in Euros. Exchange rate correct at time of printing, and subject to currency ﬂuctuations. Discounts cannot be combined with any other offer.

www.topdeck.travel/deals

UP TO

TRAVEL

EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character

EUROCLUB: Hostels to hotels, bungalows, castles & yachts

22 DAYS SUMMER FUN & SAILING

Includes Paris, Rome, Venice, Prague, Amsterdam plus more!

Includes Paris, Venice, sailing in Greece, Prague plus more!

WAS

£1750

£1400

Dep. 19 Aug 2011

NOW

Dep. 20 Aug 2011

£1995

£1685

INCLUDES £455 FOOD & SAILING FUND

EUROCLUB: Hostels to hotels, bungalows, castles & yachts

EXPLORER: Small groups that get off the beaten track

21 DAYS EASTERN EXPLORE

12 DAYS TURKEY EXPLORED

Includes Istanbul, Dubrovnik, Budapest, Prague, plus more!

Includes Istanbul, Cappadocia, Gallipoli, Kusadasi, plus more!

WAS

£1370

£1090

INCLUDES £250 FOOD & SAILING FUND

Dep. 27 Aug 2011

NOW

Dep. 13 Sep 2011

£695

£520 FOR MORE DEALS CHECK OU T OUR WEBSITE

CALL US 0845 257 5210 *Prices quoted & discounts are for speciﬁc departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off trip prices only, and do not include food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included.

facebook.com/TopdeckTravel

tntmagazine.com

twitter.com/TopdeckTravel

TOURS

18 DAYS EUROPEAN ODYSSEY

TRAVEL TOURS

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TRAVEL 91 TOURS

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EGYPT AND THE RED SEA Pharaohs adventure 6 days King Tutankhamen 9 days Egypt Unplugged 10 days King Ramses 13 days 5-star Jewel of the Nile 10 days

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK ÂŁ299 ÂŁ349 ÂŁ399 ÂŁ449 ÂŁ779

ÂŁ599 ÂŁ549 ÂŁ649 ÂŁ749 ÂŁ779

Siwa to Alexandria 7 days Sandblaster 13 days Dunes & Tombs 17 days Beyond the Pyramids 12 days Nile Valley to Siwa Oasis 15 days

Why travel with ON THE GO t -FHFOEBSZ &HZQUPMPHJTU MPDBM HVJEFT t "MM PVS IPUFMT IBWF CFFO DIPTFO CZ VT BOE SBUFE PS TUBST t "JSQPSU USBOTGFST BMXBZT JODMVEFE t /P DPNQVMTPSZ ATJOHMF TVQQMFNFOU o XF DBO NBUDI ZPV VQ XJUI B USBWFM NBUF t /P MPDBM QBZNFOU t 8F WF FYQFSJFODFE UIF UPVST ĂśSTU IBOE TP XF LOPX XIBU XF SF UBMLJOH BCPVU

5096

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TRAVEL 93 TOURS

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EXPLORE MOROCCO ÂŁ549 ÂŁ749 ÂŁ799 ÂŁ799

Marrakech & Beyond 8 days Marrakech Sahara & Surf 11 days Camels, Souks & Kasbahs 15 days Migration of the Berber 11 days

Why travel with ON THE GO t "#5" "*50 "50- o ĂśOBODJBM protection t 8FMM MPDBUFE MPDBM IPUFMT BOE SJBET t &YDFMMFOU FOUIVTJBTUJD MPDBM guides t /P DPNQVMTPSZ ATJOHMF TVQQMFNFOU t /P AMPDBM QBZNFOU t 0Ă˛FSJOH a fantastic selection of year-round guaranteed departures t 5BLJOH ZPV PĂ˛ UIF CFBUFO USBDL t $IFDL PVU PVS $ISJTUNBT /FX :FBS UPVST PO TBMF OPX

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SPECIAL OFFER!

#VZ 4BGBSJ (FU ' 3&& $BMM VT GPS GVSUIFS E FUBJMT

Gorillas in the Mist 6 days Gorilla & Game Trek 15 days Wildlife Express 22 days Big Five Explorer 36 days Kenya to Cape 43 days

ÂŁ430 ÂŁ720 ÂŁ729 ÂŁ1385 ÂŁ1419

www.onthegotours.com 020 7371 1113 Prices reflect local payment, see website for full details. Phone lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 9pm. On the Go Tours, 68 North End Road, West Kensington, London W14 9EP. ä&#x2DC; 100% On the Go Assurance.

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95 TOURS

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Passage to Petra 6 days Totally Jordan 8 days XMAS in Petra 8 days Road to Jordan 16 days

ÂŁ599 ÂŁ779 ÂŁ849 ÂŁ949

2 / a & Nep

GROUP TOURS

TRANS-SIBERIAN

Simply St. Peteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 4 days ÂŁ249 ÂŁ429 Vodka Shot 6 days Back in the USSR 7 days ÂŁ629 Russian Revolution 9 days ÂŁ699

Red Express 10 days ÂŁ799 Genghis Khan 13 days ÂŁ999 Express to China 15 days ÂŁ1349 ÂŁ1799 Big Ticket 19 days

Why travel with ON THE GO t "#5" "*50 "50- o ĂśOBODJBM protection t TUBS IPUFMT DIPTFO CZ VT t &YDFMMFOU FOUIVTJBTUJD MPDBM guides t /P DPNQVMTPSZ ATJOHMF TVQQMFNFOU t /P AMPDBM QBZNFOU t -PUT PG :FBS SPVOE HVBSBOUFFE EFQBSUVSFT UP DIPPTF GSPN t 5BLJOH ZPV PĂ˛ UIF CFBUFO USBDL t 9NBT JO 3VTTJB BOE /FX :FBS JO 3FE 4RVBSF PO TBMF OPX

Taj Express 8 days Taj & Tigers 9 days Nepal Encompassed 9 days Everest Base Camp 20 days

ÂŁ549 ÂŁ679 ÂŁ679 ÂŁ979

/&8 */%*" #30$)63& 065 /08 t (SPVQ 5PVST t 5JHFS 4BGBSJT t $PMPVSGVM 'FTUJWBMT t &MFQIBOU 1BSBEF t t 7BSBOBJT (BOHFT t )PVTFCPBUT JO ,FSBMB t 9."4 BOE /: 5SJQT t

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20% OFF ENSUITE SAVE UP TO £145

TRAVEL

15% OFF STANDARD SAVE UP TO £88 Valid on departures from 27th August to end September. Book by 17 July

Croatia Island Hopper

Croatia One-Way Sail

8 DAYS FROM £416 EXTRA DEPARTURE

8 DAYS FROM £467

Departs Split (May – October)

Inclusions: 7 nights’ accommodation, 7 breakfasts, 7 lunches, fuel supplement, island orientation walks, orientations of Split and Dubrovnik, English speaking Busabout Guide and expert local crew.

Classic Rhapsody Trek

TOURS

6th August - standard cabin

ay On e-Wers! ne Departs Split or Dubrovnik (May – October) Pio

Bohemian Trek

CZECH REPUBLIC, POLAND, SLOVAKIA, HUNGARY & CROATIA CROATIA, SLOVENIA, AUSTRIA & CZECH REPUBLIC 9 DAYS FROM £519 - £559 7 DAYS FROM £409 - £449

Classic Balkan Trek Ne w ! Ottoman Trek Ne w !

formerly

All trips include accommodation, breakfasts, Eastern Europe T-shirt and Lonely Planet

TURKEY, GREECE, ALBANIA, MONTENEGRO & CROATIA 9 DAYS FROM £519 - £559

CROATIA, BOSNIA, SERBIA, BULGARIA & TURKEY 7 DAYS FROM £439 - £479 GROUPS OF 4 SAVE 5% GROUPS OF 10 SAVE 10%

WITH ALL VALID ISIC / ISE / ITIC CARDS

08450 267 514

www.busabout.com

info@busabout.com

WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS SPECIAL EVENT TOURS CYCLING IN THE NEW FOREST

£55

Sat 30 July Includes: Return train travel, full bike and helmet hire, free time to explore Brokenhurst or surrounding villages.

CARTIER INTERNATIONAL POLO

£55

Sun 24 July pp Includes: Return luxury coach, packed lunch including wine & general admission to the Guards Polo Club for the polo event.

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL AND TATTOO

£269

Fri 5 Aug AND Fri 12 Aug from pp Includes: Tattoo Ticket, return train travel, 2 nights hotel B&B Acom, sightseeing and transfers.

SHORT BREAKS AMSTERDAM AND BRUGGE From

£189pp Fri 15 - Sun 17 July

HOLLAND AND BELGIUM From £189pp Fri 22 - Sun 24 July PARIS BY EUROSTAR From £226pp Fri 29 - Sun 31 July PARIS AND THE CHAMPAGNE REGION From £199pp Fri 29 - Sun 31 July

OVERNIGHT TOURS Overnight tour to Bath

Including Windsor and Cheddar Gorge. Hostel Accom & sightseeing tours of Windsor and Bath. Only Departs Sat 16 - Sun 17 July

£109pp

Horse Riding in Wales Includes Horse Ride in Brecon Beacon National Park, B&B Hotel Acom in Cardiff, afternoon in Haye-on-Wye Departs Sat 23 July

£149pp

DAY TRIPS ¸ Fri 15 July: Stonehenge Private Viewing Morning. From ¸ Sat 16 July: York by Rail. From ¸ Sat 16 July: Isle of Wight. From ¸ Sat 16 July: Oxford and Stratford Upon Avon. From ¸ Sun 17 July: Stratford and Warwick Castle. From ¸ Sun 17 July: Brighton. From

£45 £45

£36

£71

£46 £45

£50

PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From with entrances to Stonehenge & the Roman Baths included! Windsor, Eton & Oxford EVERYDAY. From £45 with entrances to Windsor Castle and Christ Church College included!

LUXURY MINI COACH TOURS No more than 15 people with customer specified pick ups in zone 1 From

£55

¸ EVERYDAY - Oxford, Stratford & Cotswolds ¸ EVERYDAY - Stonehenge, Glastonbury, Avebury & Chalice Well ¸ EVERY SATURDAY & SUNDAY - Leeds Castle, Canterbury & White Cliffs of Dover

BOOK ONLINE AT:

www.andersontours.co.uk or call 0207 436 9304 Anderson Tours Travel Shop, 81 Charlotte Street, London W1T 4PP

tntmagazine.com

FIND US ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER

Anderson Tours is fully bonded by Client Trust Account

TRAVEL

& Gr%ce

97 TOURS

Th ks On 6 Go!

p+, Gr't (aĘŚ, great peo /0 great fun. -at a 12day! â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Mi4el+ B

Sailing Split 8 days Cruise Dubrovnik 8 days On-board Opatija 8 days Dalmatian Discovery 8 days

ÂŁ299 ÂŁ369 ÂŁ369 ÂŁ449

20% OFF! Sailing Split Departures in July and August

dor P u & Ecua ra8! 7ca T

Machu Warrior 8 days Trails to Titicaca 15 days Speedy Gonzales 12 days Peruvian Poncho 15days

ÂŁ669 ÂŁ1059 ÂŁ1139 ÂŁ1479

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EXPLORE TURKEY & THE MED! ÂŁ299 ÂŁ399 ÂŁ499 ÂŁ479 ÂŁ599 ÂŁ849

Cruise the Med 8 days Aegean Explorer 7 days Turkey Unplugged 10 days Greek Island Getaway 8 days Remembrance Day 9 day Turkey Discovered 14 days

Why travel with ON THE GO t "#5" "*50 "50- o ĂśOBODJBM protection t TUBS IPUFMT DIPTFO CZ VT t &YDFMMFOU FOUIVTJBTUJD MPDBM guides t /P DPNQVMTPSZ ATJOHMF TVQQMFNFOU t /P AMPDBM QBZNFOU t :FBS SPVOE HVBSBOUFFE EFQBSUVSFT t "MM UPVST JODMVEF B WJTU UP "/;"$ $PWF t

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TRAVEL

*UHDW VWDU KRWHOV Č&#x2019; &DLUR Č&#x2019; 1XELDQ 'LQQHU

(J\SWLDQ ([SUHVV WRXU 3/86 QLJKW VWD\ LQ VWDU

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Č&#x2019; QLJKW 1LOH IHOXFFD FUXLVH

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9 DAYS from

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ÂŁ229

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15 DAYS from

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ÂŁ279

TOURS

Pyramids & Beaches

Egyptian Express

7,;+ &21Q'(1&(A

No silly local payments

Felucca sailing & donkey riding

Best value packed tours

Top quality, well located 3-star hotels

Guaranteed departures

Awesome, realistic prices

Escorted by an Egyptologist tour guide

No single supplements

Perfect mix of sightseeing & free time

Arrival & departure transfers

ABTA, ATOL, AITO bonding

Xmas & New Year tours

P: 020 7471 6400 or visit www.thegobus.com

COACH? CAMP? HOTEL? FLIGHT? The choice is yours! We are the largest UK operator to Munich and cover the entire fest (17 Sept - 3 Oct) â&#x153;&#x201D; Coach tours from ÂŁ199 â&#x153;&#x201D; Accom only camping from ÂŁ99 â&#x153;&#x201D; Hotel packages from ÂŁ209

JOIN PP AT THE CRAZIE ST FOOD FIGHT IN THE WO AND LARGEST RLD 30 Aug - 1 Sept â&#x20AC;&#x201C; great value tours fro m just ÂŁ135! â&#x153;&#x201D; 3 or 4* hotels in sup erb central Valencia position â&#x153;&#x201D; Great breakfasts â&#x153;&#x201D; Welcome party â&#x153;&#x201D; Transfer to tomato fi ght Bunol â&#x153;&#x201D; Fully escorted by exp erienced PP guides â&#x153;&#x201D; Souviner t-shirt

GREAT VALUE AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY TOURS - TOP ACCOM, BREAKFASTS, TOURS AND MUCH MORE! AUGUST BANK HOLIDAY (26-29 AUG 2011) ONLY ÂŁ169 â&#x153;&#x201D; Central accommodation â&#x153;&#x201D; Canal Boat Cruise â&#x153;&#x201D; City tourRed Light District â&#x153;&#x201D; Breakfast â&#x153;&#x201D; Famous Bike Ride Tour

ITâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PARTY TIME IN AMSTERDAM

info@pptravel.com 020 7930 9999

pptravel.com tntmagazine.com

TRAVEL

GREEK ISLANDS GREEK ISLAND PARTY HOPPER ■ 9 DAYS fr £399 ■ 11 DAYS fr £499

PALIO SIENA ITALY’S CRAZY 350 YEAR OLD FESTIVAL

15-18 AUG 15-24 AUG 15 AUG-1 SEP

■ Hostel Package ■ Palio to Rome All-Italia ■ Palio-Tomatina Odyssey

£149 £549 £979

✔ Florence ✔ Venice ✔ Milan ✔ Pisa ✔ Rome ✔ Siena ✔ Barcelona ✔ Ibiza ✔ La Tomatina ✔ Palio Festival

BOARDMASTERS UK’S BIGGEST MUSIC, BEACH & SURF FESTIVAL! ■ Newquay, Cornwall

12-14 AUG £179

✔ Huge line up featuring FATBOY SLIM! ✔ ASP world surfing tour event ✔ Watergate Bay Music Festival ticket ✔ Return coach from London

JUL-SEP

✔ Mljet ✔ Dubrovnik ✔ Trstenik ✔ Korcula ✔ Hvar ✔ Bol ✔ Brac Cat A: JUL £389-£439 AUG £469-£499 Cat A+: JUL £399-£469 AUG £439-£499 SEP £439 ✔ Top quality boats, unbeatable prices ✔ Select your room & boat when you book ✔ Experienced Fanatics rep on board every tour ✔ Package price includes fuel surcharges & port taxes ✔ Get more for your money with Fanatics in Croatia!

OKTOBERFEST MUNICH’S INCREDIBLE BEER FESTIVAL! 17 SEP-3 OCT ■ Weekend Camping £149 ■ Weekend Hostels fr £189 ■ Weekend Hotel £349 ■ Prague & Buda Fest 8 Day Tour £329 ■ London 6 Day Coach Tours fr £259 All weekend packages three nights Friday-Monday. Mid-week camping & hostel options also available!

■ AUS v BARBARIANS Twickenham SAT 26 NOV ✔ Featuring all of this year’s World Cup stars!

£35

SKIFEST SKIFEST XMAS & PARIS NYE COMBO ■ Risoul & Paris 23 Dec-2 Jan All-inclusive £699

✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ 2 Nights Paris ✔ Coach transfers

SKIFEST XMAS COACH TOUR ■ Risoul 23-31 DEC All-inclusive £599

FOOTBALL ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE ■ Coach Day Tours - Manchester Utd & Liverpool ■ Premier League - Fulham FC home games

✔ 6 Nights Risoul ✔ Coach transfers

£99 fr£25

SKIFEST XMAS FLIGHT TOUR ■ Risoul 23-30 or 24-31 DEC All-inclusive £739 ✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ Flights & airport transfers

SKIFEST NYE COACH TOUR ■ Risoul 30 DEC-7 JAN All-inclusive £529

HOGMANAY EDINBURGH’S MASSIVE NYE PARTY

£199/£239 £269

✔ 6 Nights Risoul ✔ Coach transfers

SKIFEST NYE FLIGHT TOUR ■ Risoul 30 DEC-6 JAN All-inclusive £729

✔ 7 Nights Risoul ✔ Flights & airport transfers

BOOK ONLINE NOW! www.thefanatics.com or call 0207 240 3223 COVENT GARDEN OFFICE 1st

fr £389

We sail Croatia’s best islands & route! ✔ Split ✔ Markaska

RUGBY UNION

The world ’s biggest food fight! 31 AUG ■ Beach Camping Package £139 ■ City Centre Hostels/Hotels £179/£169 ■ Barcelona + La Tom Double £259 ■ La Tom-Ibiza Combo Tours fr £359 ■ Barcelona, Ibiza, La Tom Treble £449

30 DEC-2 JAN 30 DEC-2 JAN

■ 7 Nights

DON’T MISS THIS YEAR’S ONLY EUROPEAN INTERNATIONAL

LA TOMATINA

■ 3 Night Hostel & Hotel ■ 4 Day Coach/Hostel Tour

CATEGORY A & A+ BOATS AT UNBEATABLE PRICES!

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TOURS

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teaching

care work

AFTER-SCHOOL/HOLIDAY WORK FOR TEACHERS mykidscoach is a new agency that can give teachers extra work in their spare time. Use your teaching skills to earn money in the following ways: Homework partner: Qualified teachers who go to a child’s home to oversee their homework. Sporting partner: PE teachers/Level 1 coaches who take a child out to the park to play their favourite sports with them. Sports coach: Qualified sports coaches (Level 2) to give private coaching to children. To find out more visit us at mykidscoach.co.uk Contact us now on 07563 900 901/2 or write to us at mykidscoach@me.com

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Edinburgh’s ONLY South African bar has opened in Leith. A unique, stylish bar with something for everyone, delivered by experience and friendly staff. As expected we stock a large range of South African beers, wines, ciders and snacks, including a classic selection of cocktails and Dom Pedro’s. Opening hours are from 12pm to 1am, come down and enjoy a true taste of Africa.

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109

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Mullet at the Redback: I remember the hair because I put my fingers through it, and through it, and through it. Man, that was a serious party at the back you had going on there. But it came to a great big sobering halt after I stubbed my toe by the bathrooms and was suddenly swept up in the arms of this great big minger. I was way too drunk to know what was going on, frankly, but I woke up – sore head and all – and remembered your great big hunky face. Would love another pash. Send me a message here! Dannii. Where’s my Willy?: Did you lose my number? It’s been a long time between booty calls. So don’t be shy and pick up the phone and we can keep the neighbours awake all night. And remember, I’m no puppet: there are no strings attached. Kesha Dave: We met in the Clapham Grand last week and you were in a bit of a state. You cried on my shoulder like a girl, but you looked so fit it made you even more of a bloke. You told me your girlfriend had dumped you and I got the feeling it wasn’t worth trying to drag you back to my place – there’s a limit to how much snot I can handle. But that was last week. Plenty of time to get over the slag! I’ll be in the Grand again on Sat. Same time, same place. And maybe we’ll need those tissues for something else. Jess. You caught my eye: To the cute blonde I meet on the District Line last Thursday after the festival in Hyde Park. We gave each other the eye

post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com

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until I worked up the guts to jump back on the tube at Earl’s Court and quickly get your number. I was pissed when I realised you accidently left out a digit (I only hope you read this). Email me at earlscourt districtline@gmail. com Hi all: I’m heading to Russia on August 31 and I’m starting my trip in St Petersburg, then Moscow and then hop on the Trans Siberian. But I’m more insterested in the Mongolian route, so from Beijing I would be heading to South Korea and Japan and after that, heading to South East Asia. Anyone in the same boat? send me an email: transiberianxperience@ yahoo.co.uk. SMac That: Welcome back to London’s sunny shores – where the men wear their pants too short, there are not enough snakebites to feed your addiction, and there’s a lynch mob bigger than Rebekah Brooks’ still waiting to get you back for stealing Bumble Brown’s 375 million-year-old

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Gavialosuchus Americanus crocodile head. Snap Snap. Matty: Happy birthday brother! Can’t believe you are already 23! Have a wild time and maybe this will finally be the year you meet the lady of your dreams. Give everyone a hug for me, will you? Miss you lots! Your sisStar Anna: Take a bite out of the Big Apple, bestie, and please have a wonderful trip to the States. Our Friday night drinks just won’t be the same without you!! We miss you already but we will see you in October! Big hug from your girls across the pond. Ouch: To Casablanca, you are a wanker, you tried to deck me on the settee when I all I wanted was for you to kiss Dee Dee. The fat girl needs some loving - and I’m spoken for. Take one for the team, Blanca. Jordi: To the best hubby ever! Thanks for putting up with my mood swings lately and thanks for working all those long hours earning the dosh! Europe will be awesome this

summer – not long now, four weeks and counting down!! I can’t wait to spend it travelling with you. Juzz. TWhite: We’ll call them Bruno, Rose, Plugga, RooBoy and Tracey and we’ll spend Saturday nights trying to make them and Sunday afternoons disecting The Times while wiping the dribble from our chins. How does one resist an offer like that? Love your little pliable passion ball of pure plume and desire. Brillo: Brillo, It’s time you got off your arse and re-introduced yourself to the big wide world again. You can only pine for a girl for so long before it just gets pathetic – believe me, you’ve reached that point and gone over the edge. She was a cow anyway – what sort of woman dumps a bloke on Facebook? Time to get out among all those fish in the sea. I’ll be your wingman. Seriously, if you don’t leave the house soon I’m staging an intervention. Wanga. Snotface: Love you to pieces, but you’ve gotta quit your leeching. You came to London to make some friends, but how do you expect to make your own when you’re surgically attached to me? I’ve served my duties, now fly away blackbird. Craigos: Happy birthday, buttercup. We are going to have the wildest summer and your thirties will be a year you’ll never, ever forget. Thank you for being an amazing friend to me. I’m about to repay you for all those epic years of fun and in just two months. Do you trust me? Ha ha. Love Alison.

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