TNT Magazine / Issue 1459

August 15-21 2011 Issue 1459 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

A TABLE FOR 10 AT LONDON BIERFEST

GO WILD IN THE COUNTRY Enjoy quad biking and shooting in rural London

RECLAIM YOUR LUNCH BREAK 20 top things to do in the capital in an hour

CROATIA CALLING Set sail aboard a yacht for an island adventure

Y O B W O C , O HELL i-f i f ilm c s w e n s i h silent for d n a g n o r t s gets Daniel Craig

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

www.anglopacific.co.uk SO BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT OF EUROPE CHECK OUT ANGLO PACIFIC

FREEPHONE 0800 085 0355 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER I bet we’re all guilty of not maximising our lunchbreaks.

More often than not, we’ll grab a bite to eat and sit slumped at our desks before getting back to work. If that sounds like you, flick to P10 to read about the high-flying things you could be doing in an hour. Or, if you fancy ditching the city for a bit of countryside action, see how our writer got on in his quest for rural hijinks on P24.

Looking to go further afield? Turn to P70 for a complete guide to sailing in Croatia. Enjoy!

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4

LONDONNEWS

8

MY LONDON

14

COMPETITION

15

DRINK & EATS

16-17

@TNT

18

SPOTTED

19

LISTINGS SOUND

20-21

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

22-23

LONDON FOCUS

24-26

CHATROOM STEVE LAMACQ 29 LONDON SCENE

30-31

Photos: Getty; TNT

SPARE TIME

70

34

LIFESTYLE

35-43

SHOPPING

35

HEALTH & BEAUTY

36

CAREERS

38

MONEY

41

LIVING

42

NEWS & SPORT

47-55

TRAVEL

57-80

FEATURES RECLAIM LUNCHTIME London offers many thrills you can experience in an hour

A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY

HELLO, COWBOY

58

NEWS

59

LATE DEALS

62

RIOT ZONE

HOTSHOTS

64

TOP FIVE

66

Understanding the civil unrest that enveloped the capital last week

68-69

UKTRIP

60-61

48 HOURS IN ... MALTA

74-75

CLASSIFIEDS

110-116

DESPERATELY SEEKING

122

10

24

Take part in an rural experience on the outskirts of London

DIARY

TIPS & STUFF

10

32

Daniel Craig on battling aliens and working with his hero, Harrison Ford

SAILING AWAY

48

70

Live the dream as you learn to sail around the islands of pristine Croatia

LIVING THE THAI LIFE

76

Give something back in the orphanages of Sangkhlaburi, Thailand

24 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

3

EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Travel Janine Kelso Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

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A hint of old-world glamour

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Astrid Breacker Design and production executives Justine Mackay | Laura Doyle Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair | Sandra Parr Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing & Events Manager Caroline Boyd Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts TNT PUBLISHING CEO Kevin Ellis Chairman Ken Hurst PUBLISHER TNT Publishing Ltd DISTRIBUTION Emblem Direct Ltd PRINTED BY Wyndeham Peterborough Limited NEWS AAP SAPA NZPA PICTURES AAP AP Alamy Getty Images NZPA PA Photos Photolibrary.com Pictures Colour Library Reuters Rex Features Robert Harding SAPA TNT Images TNT Magazine , 10 Greycoat Place, London, SW1P 1SB tntmagazine.com General enquiries Phone 020 7960 6008 Fax 020 7960 6977 Email enquiries@tntmagazine.com SALES ENQUIRIES

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WHERE TO GET TNT

Shhh... SECRET LONDON VOLUPTÉ

SUNDAY AFTERNOON TEASE You get a proper afternoon tea and a glass of bubbly before settling in for a delicious helping of burlesque at this classy central London supper club. If you think you might need a stiff drink after the rauncy performances, you’ll be in the right place, as Volupté boasts a top-notch cocktail menu brimming with sly nods to old-world Hollywood glamour.

Burlesque and cabaret is enjoying an irresistible revival in London’s various nooks and crannies, so book a table at Volupté and find out what all the fuss it about. £42

August 21 9 Norwich St, EC4A 1EJ

volupte-lounge.com

Chancery Lane

RON ARAD’S CURTAIN CALL

OLYMPIC TEST: BASKETBALL

MIND SPORTS OLYMPIAD

Arad is an intriguing polymath, having worked as an architect, industrial designer and artist. His breadth of work and radical approach have made him of the world’s foremost contemporary designers and this installation at the Roundhouse promises to encapsulate all that makes him cutting-edge.

Maybe you missed out on your tickets to the Olympics or maybe you were too broke to even think about applying. Well, these warm-up events for next year’s Games are the next best thing. A stack of sports are being put through their paces and, this week, it’s basketball, with Australia in town to take part in a sixteam tournament.

Whatever your game – whether it’s backgammon, chess, yahtzee or hundreds of others besides – you can bet it will be played here. There’s a small fee if you want to play, but it’s free to watch and, at the end of it all, the Pentamind World Champion is announced, anointing one obsessive gameplayer above the rest.

Until August 28 The Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd roundhouse.org.uk Chalk Farm

August 16-21 Olympic Park, E20 3BB londonpreparesseries.com Stratford

August 20-28 University of London Union, Malet St, WC1E 7HY boardability.com Goodge St

COVER PRICE: £1 where sold SEE tntmagazine.com/findtnt for pick-up points or tntmagazine.com/emag to read TNT online SUBSCRIPTIONS AND DISTRIBUTION Caroline Penn 01603 559004 All thieves of TNT bins will be prosecuted.

TNT Magazine is printed on paper from sustainable forests. There is no business connection between the proprietors of this magazine and TNT Ltd, the worldwide transportation group. Copyright here and abroad of all original materials is held by TNT Magazine.

Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden, except with permission of the publishers.

Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

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WORK EARN LIVE TRAVEL

Freestyle fun: go skateboarding in east London

Looking for fun work, great workmates, freedom to travel (whenever you want) & the money to do it all with?

We thought so – and that’s what IPG offers you.

IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).

• Money Average £600 pw. Make £15,000 by Christmas!

DOWNTOWN SHOWDOWN Old Spitalfields market

Spitalfields will be transformed into a sprawling skate park for the day, before 12 European teams go toe-totoe, showing off their skills and tricks. East London being east London, though, the course retains an inimicable style, with old beer barrels and references to Jack The Ripper incorporated among the other obstacles.

FREE

• Travel IPG has offices in the UK, NZ, AU, IRE & RSA – work there, or simply take unlimited leave whenever you want to travel the world.

• Great mates IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night. Free trips (to Pamps. Beerfest, Cheese Rolling and more). Awesome parties!

August 20 Old Spitalfields market, Brushfield St, E1 6DT vans.co.uk Liverpool Street

Like to hear more? Come & meet us for a drink & a chat. If you like what you see – bingo! Immediate start.

Full training provided. Live-in positions available too!

To book a place at one of our information sessions, call:

CINEMA UNDER THE STARS

EATEN MESS

07716 376 408

Make the most of summer’s last strains by packing a picnic and stretching out under the night sky at Syon Park while watching some classics on the big screen. It’s hard to go past Pulp Fiction on Thursday, or maybe The Shawshank Redemption on Friday – if you’re the only person alive who hasn’t seen it 90 times already.

There’s a smorgasbord of offbeat, experimental comedy in the lead-up to Edinburgh. And one act, Getinthebackofthevan, whose Eaten Mess is billed as ‘part clowning duo, part party political broadcast, part cookery demonstration, part gross out’, sounds particularly promising.

Very messy indeed.

August 18-21 Syon House and Park, TW8 8JF lady-in-red.co.uk Gunnersbury

Until August 26 Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY rvt.org.uk Vauxhall

£10

Photos: TNT

• Lifestyle Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/ indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way.

FREE

Voted best backpacker job 2011 OTHERS START

YOU ON £2

0 WE START YOU ON £40 That’s 100% more money fo r you

RedjellyDMCR5873TNT_L

SEND DAD THE REALLY WANTS FATHER’S DAY.

GIFT HE THIS Don’t forget your Dad back home in Australia this Father’s Day. Get him what he really wants at danmurphys.com.au.

Dan Murphy’s online range has over 5,000 products and counting, all at the lowest price guaranteed, and what’s more, any gift ordered from Dan Murphy’s Father’s Day online catalogue will be delivered free – Australia-wide.

Visit danmurphys.com.au/dad and place your order by Monday 29 August for guaranteed delivery* in Australia.

View the full Father’s Day catalogue on your smartphone here.

Dan Murphy’s supports the responsible service and consumption of alcohol. *Conditions apply, visit danmurphys.com.au. Catalogue prices valid from Monday 15 August 2011 to Sunday 4 September 2011. #Dan Murphy’s delivery partner is Australia POST. The delivery guidelines provided are based on those provided by Australia POST. 29th August 2011 guarantee is only for metro areas. We cannot guarantee or provide a day of the week or time of day for delivery. Orders are despatched Monday to Friday. If we are in stock of your products at time of picking, we aim to dispatch your order the next business day. For a full list of Delivery Charges, Zones and Terms and Conditions, please visit http://danmurphys.com.au/help/delivery-information-content RedjellyDMCR5873TNT_R

LONDONNEWS

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Broom army: volunteers in Clapham Junction

OLYMPIC VILLAGE MAKES £175M ‘LOSS’ Taxpayers have been left £175m out of pocket after the Olympic Village was sold for £557m to a developer from the Middle East. Qatari Diar, the state’s investment arm, and Delancey, a retail developer, will convert the venue into 2800 homes after the 2012 Games. Culture secretary Jeremy Hunt called the deal “fantastic”, adding: “The village will be the centrepiece of a new, vibrant east London community.” The majority of the homes will be rented rather than sold, and will be family units with three or four bedrooms.

We often see hoodies as aggressive, the uniform of a rebel army of young gangsters.

But hoodies are more defensive than offensive Prime minister David Cameron makes a comment in 1996 he’ll later regret

RIOTS ‘NO WORSE THAN SICK DOG’ The riots were no worse for London tourism than a sick dog or ‘flooding the bathroom’, claims the European Tour Operators Association. There were only three cancellations for trips to the capital in the immediate aftermath last week – less than 0.2 per cent of all bookings. Meanwhile, VisitBritain had to pull its “You’re invited” advert from the BBC website after it ran next to news stories of the London riots.

ON THE TUBE THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES

DISTRICT AND CIRCLE: Upgrade works to improve service reliability are set to take place on one of the oldest sections.

It means the District and Circle lines will be suspended between High Street Kensington and Edgware Road until August 23. This weekend, works will be expanded to the entire Circle line, while, on the District line, Earl’s Court will also be closed

HAMMERSMITH AND CITY: No service between Baker Street and Hammersmith on Saturday or Sunday between Camden Town and Kennington via Bank

8

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More Good Samaritans pledge money and services to victims Celebrities, banks, charities and tradesmen are joining the campaign to get London back on its feet after last week’s riots. Hundreds of people have donated money and services to help repair damage around the capital.

The random acts of kindness have been sparked by the actions of hundreds of ‘Wombles’ who turned out en masse to help clean-up.

Kaiser Chiefs frontman Ricky Wilson also took part in the #riotcleanup campaign which went viral on Twitter, and singer Kate Nash delivered donated clothes.

More than £25,000 has been raised

by Londoners for Aaron Biber, 89, whose Tottenham barber shop was destroyed.

Tottenham Green Leisure Centre has received clothes, food and other necessities

and it is also offering legal advice to those affected. And The British Bankers Association (bba.org.uk) has pledged extra financial support for firms needing cash for repairs or to replace stock stolen by looters, and is offering loan repayment ‘holidays’ until insurance claims have been settled.

Boris Johnson has pledged a £50m “rebuilding fund”. Sir Peter Rogers, the mayor’s regeneration adviser, said: “Some of the areas affected by the rioting were poor and deprived areas. We are not going to rebuild them to again be poor and deprived.

“This fund will be used as part of a longterm plan to make these high streets lively and vibrant. We have priority areas, such as Tottenham and Croydon.” To see how you can get involved, visit riotcleanup.co.uk

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

Musicians are ‘emotionally blackmailed’ into working for free at charity events. The Musicians’ Union claims its members are unfairly treated and are often expected to perform unpaid at events for good causes.

It’s asking the TUC to back a move to allow musicians to choose to work for free or not.

The motion that will be discussed at the TUC annual conference in London next week says: “It is extremely unfair to put professional musicians into a situation where they are emotionally blackmailed into working for no fee and are asked to give their services to a good cause. This is particularly unjust when others associated with the event, such as venue staff, lawyers and caterers, are being paid.”

Freebie? Some musicians are ‘forced’ to work unpaid

Photos: Getty

NORTHERN: No weekend service

The #riotcleanup continues

High fliers: step outside your office

Reclaim lunchtime!

Don’t sit behind your desk eating a soggy sandwich. London is crammed with cool things to do in the middle of the workday WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN

Most lunchtimes I’m unlikely to be swinging by my knees 30 feet in the air. In general, you’ll find me wolfing carbs in front of my computer. But all that is about to change as I begin my mission to reclaim the 240 hours of lunchtime (that’s the equivalent of 10 days) I, like most Londoners, usually waste every year: I’m taking a trapeze lesson.

On the edge of Regent’s Park, Gorilla Circus has set up the Flying Trapeze School, possibly the capital’s most terrifying lunch-hour pursuit.

With trepidation I climb the narrow ladder to a platform high above. I’m attached to a harness and the net below will clearly prevent death, but, nonetheless, it takes a leap of faith to grasp the bar and cast myself off.

Despite there being kids in the class, I make a massive fuss, hyperventilating: “I can’t! No sorry, I just can’t!”

Debs, a Gorilla Circus instructor and trapeze pro, manages to restore a shred of my pride as she tells me: “Don’t worry, I’ve seen grown men crying up here. The first time is the worst.”

With an undignified squeal, I leap off, swinging in a wide arc through the 10

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blue sky. Debs calls commands, telling me to hook my legs over the trapeze, then let go and hang, before making a controlled landing I ignore her, dangle for a few swings, then flop face down on the net.

To my surprise, however, this flying lark gets easier and, on my second swing, I manage to get my knees onto the trapeze and let go. As the blood rushes to my head I think to myself, “Look at you. Yesterday, lunchbreaks were nothing more than a quick peek at Facebook; today, you’ve discovered you were born to trapeze-perform!”

With that, I catch sight of the ground – too out of focus, too far away – panic, and crash spread-eagled on to the net once again.

Andrew Strathan, 32, originally from Melbourne, fares better than me; managing flips, somersaults and even to be caught by someone mid-swing.

“I’m not working today,” he says.

“But this would definitely take my mind off work. And just think of all the trapeze-related metaphors you could take into your next meeting: ’We need better timing on the handover’; ‘A safety-net for operations’;

‘Let’s launch with no fear…’”

I have to stop him, but I get the gist: life is way better when you do something exciting at lunch.

Gorilla Circus founder, Ezra Trigg, 27, tells me his regular lunchtime trapezers include a lawyer who creates imaginary meetings to come flying in the park, and a host of ‘working from homers’.

Some do it for the exercise, some for the buzz, some simply to escape.

“The flying trapeze is almost meditative in that you have to switch off and think about nothing else,” Trigg says. “And people get addicted; they like pretending they’ve risked their lives that day.”

At the end of the class, Debs shimmies up to a second trapeze, an agile, graceful silhouette against the sky. She makes it look so easy, but I’m no longer deceived!

So maybe I’m not ready to run away with the circus, but, hell yeah, I’m ready to use my lunchtime. ›› 19 OTHER TOP LUNCHBREAK IDEAS Flying Trapeze School with Gorilla Circus, £22.50 Regent’s Park until Aug 22; Battersea Park until Sept 12: then indoors gorillacircus.com

Safety first: Frankie gets strapped in

Climber: a ladder to success ‌ or abject failure

Swinger: a graceful silhouette against the sky TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPIRITUAL WARRIOR CLASSES MAIDA VALE

TWO-THERAPIST REVIVAL HOUR SELFRIDGES

Unleash your inner warrior at this power Vinyasa yoga class.

The brisk sessions will put you through your paces as a teacher calls out the moves – all of which are flowing, not posed. It’s a robust workout, and probably not for beginners. You will return to work ready to seize the afternoon.

Allow yourself to be worked on by two therapists, who will massage you using hot stones, manicured and pedicured in 60 minutes.

£13

12pm Mon-Fri 300 Kensal Road, W10 5BE jivamuktiyoga.co.uk Westbourne Park

£95

400 Oxford Street, W1A 1AB groomlondon.com Marble Arch

BEATONS FINISHING SCHOOL OF HIGH SOCIETY SECRETS LONDON-WIDE

TAKE AN AUDIO TOUR NATIONAL GALLERY There are a number of free podcasts you can stick on your iPod for some lunch time mind-expansion. You can explore an area of London for free with a guided tour from Free Walks In London (londonwalks.libsyn.com) but our favourite is the National Gallery's 60 Minute Tour, which brings some of its most treasured works – such as Vincent Van Gogh's Sunflowers – to life. £3.50

To suit Trafalgar Square, WC2N 5DN nationalgallery.org.uk Charing Cross, Piccadilly Circus or Embankment

SPANISH LESSONS LIVERPOOL ST

TOTALLY SPORTY ACROSS LONDON

This six-week course will get you familiar with basic grammar and conversational phrases, taught by a native Spanish speaker. Start any time.

Being busy or having no sense of direction is no excuse for getting fat!

Totally Sporty has several jogging routes that you can finish in less than an hour.

12-1pm for six weeks 36 Alie Street, Poplar, E1 8 spanish-lessons-london.co.uk Liverpool Street

To suit Locations across London totallysporty.com Various

LOVESTRUCK.COM ONLINE

MEDITATION CLASS COVENT GARDEN

Especially geared-up for busy Londoners, this dating site promises that registration takes only 60 seconds and you are then free to peruse thousands of single Londoners. Take the plunge and meet someone in your lunch hour. If it's a dud, at least you didn't waste an evening.

Stave that stress with a half-hour guided meditation class.

Choose between creative and practical meditation, anger management or relaxation strategies. Your colleagues will thank you.

£170

CUCUMBA SOHO Late for work? Been shouted at by your boss? If you're having a bad morning, instead of heading to the pub at lunchtime to drown your sorrows, drop in on Cucumba for a quick blast of pampering.

Treatments are anything from 10 minutes for a eyebrow shape (£9.50), 20 minutes for a manicure (£22.50) or an indulgent hour for a massage and 25 minutes in the snooze booth (£60). You'll feel like new person. Cucumba's stated aim is to "transform a nation of stressed out, overworked souls". Identify?

FREE

£9.50

Open Mon-Sat 12 Poland Street, W1F 8QB cucumba.co.uk Tottenham Court Road

12

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£37

lovestruck.com/london

FREE

1pm to 1.30pm 36 Shorts Gardens, WC2H 9AB innerspace.org.uk Covent Garden

Transform yourself from commoner to posh totty in an hour with an etiquette lesson at Beatons. You'll learn the formal requirements of behaviour in 'polite society', gain insight into appropriate conversation among a group of 'good breeding' and get tips on how to improve your appearance and deportment.

Classes are held in salubrious locations such as Claridges, The Ritz and The Groucho Club. £175

Various times London-wide beatons.org

HUMMINGBIRD BAKERY VARIOUS LOCATIONS

LEARN TO COOK L'ATELIER DES CHEFS

Some days, the soggy sandwich or salad you brought for lunch just doesn't do the trick. To satisfy even the sickliest sweet-tooth, head to Hummingbird Bakery, an American-style eatery with cupcakes that make a decadent afternoon reward.

The Cook, Eat, Run course does what it says on the tin. The cooking part lasts 30 minutes and you'll learn how to make something more impressive than cheese on toast. Desert and wine are on offer too, so not only will you learn a new skill, you can get fat and happy as well.

Open daily Locations across London hummingbirdbakery.com Various

Varies 19 Wigmore Street, W1U 1PH atelierdeschefs.co.uk Oxford Circus

£15

£2.65

URBAN GOLF VARIOUS LOCATIONS Getting to the putting green is usually an all-day affair, but, thanks to Urban Golf, you can now practice your swing during a midday break. In Kensington, Smithfield and Soho, players can get their fix with golf simulators. The virtual course is displayed on large screen, instantly transporting you to the tranquil countryside. It's like the real thing, only without all the walking. £10

12 pm-3pm daily Locations across London urbangolf.co.uk Various

MUSEUM HIGHLIGHTS TOUR BRITISH MUSEUM

GO TO A GIG VARIOUS Lots of bands now play instore gigs as an integral part of their marketing. It'll be more mellow than an evening concert and probably free.

FREE

LIFE DRAWING LONDON-WIDE Talk your boss into organising a bespoke, hour-long lifedrawing class for the team, or get a group together yourself to split the cost.

An instructor will guide you through various painting and drawing techniques as you battle to turn your depiction of the live model into a masterpiece. Classes will be tailored to suit all levels and, if painting a naked person fills you with terror, you can be talked through "using the model as a vehicle though which to explore new ideas and approaches". Costs depend on size of group and what you'd like to do.

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty Images, © The National Gallery, London

TBA

To suit londondrawing.com

Exploring everything the British Museum has to offer could take an entire weekend. This shortened audio tour points you to some of the best pieces the museum has to offer, pronto!

FREE

roughtrade.com; virginmegastores.co.uk; hmv. com; banquetrecords.com

96 Euston Road, NW1 2DB britishmuseum.org Holborn

LUNCH LECTURE EUSTON

CLASSICAL MUSIC BISHOPSGATE

Get sweaty for 30 minutes. The workouts may be quick they're effective. Try the Powerplate class to jiggle yourself into shape.

These lectures attract leading thinkers on topics ranging from the economy and natural disasters to: 'What has The King’s Speech done to improve public awareness about stuttering?'

This fall, The North London Festival of Music and the City Music Society will present 50minute concerts showcasing everything from string quartets to international pianists.

Changes daily 29 New Inn Yard, EC2A 3EY moveyourframe.com Shoreditch High Street

Tuesdays & Thursdays, 1.15pm Gower Street, WC1E 6BT events.ucl.ac.uk Euston Square

Sep 12-Nov 28 230 Bishopsgate, EC2 bishopsgate.org.uk Liverpool St

FRAME FITNESS SHOREDITCH £8

FREE

FREE

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MYLONDON

Tour Search by

Think Skyscanner. But for Tours.

MARK FULLER CEO OF CONCEPT VENUES What baffles me about London is it seems to have a completely different attitude to life unlike New York and Paris. There are no decent places to eat after 11pm except Indian or Chinese. It amazes me we live in a beautiful city and it is not more alive in the early hours.

www.bugbitten.com

London’s best-kept secret a very large tree in Hyde Park. I found it 15 years ago and it’s backstage next to my office during festivals. There’s nothing better than sitting down next to it drinking ‘strawberry cider’ and switching off.

When I want to chill out I head to The Roof Terrace Bar at Sanctum Soho Hotel – l am sorry to say it, but it has to be.

The most interesting person I’ve met is Sue Hill – a former superintendant who recently retired. She was in charge of ‘bobbies’ and knew them all by name and was respected by everyone from royalty to tramps. A very fun person.

My favourite place for a drink – apart from the tree – is The Dove near the Hammersmith embankment, even when it’s miserable and cold. There’s no other pub in the world like it.

When I’m hungover I head to a greasy spoon: double fried eggs, black pudding, three sausages and lots of brown sauce.

What gets me up in the morning? Knowing I have a very busy day ahead – l get up, go to the gym and for a run, knowing l will be fitter at the end of it.

My perfect weekend would be nice and hot, I’d jump on the Harley and cruise around London, stopping off at shops, meeting people for a coffee; it would be great to feel like a young boy again. Then I’d go back home for dinner with the family, Amanda, Max and Eloise, and have an early night – beats staying up late.

The last naughty thing was watch naked ladies in the hot tub on the roof terrace of my hotel. The night before l was at Edwin Van der Sar’s private dinner in Amsterdam, ‘surfing’ the ladies – we all know what Amsterdam is like. I was with Iron Maiden last week and all the ladies were trying to get to know me, as I am the management contact for the band.

conceptvenues.com 14

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Photos: TNT

Five words that sum up London ... Funky, very British and rock ‘n’ roll.

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HOW TO ENTER

Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random.

A TABLE FOR TEN AT UK’S PREMIERE BEER FESTIVAL, LONDON BIERFEST TNT is giving you the chance to win a table for 10 at London Bierfest, a fun-filled, stein-fuelled three-day celebration of fantastic food, spectacular entertainment and premium quality beer. Held from October 5-7, this hearty event transforms Old Billingsgate Market (nearest Tube: Monument) into a traditional Bavarian Bier Hall, buzzing with more than 1300 people each day enjoying the truly unique experience.

The lucky winner, plus nine of their mates, will enjoy an unlimited mouth-watering selection of Germany’s

finest draught beer, Bitburger, and an authentic spread of German cuisine, all served by Heidis, Helgas and Helmuts, the London Bierfest’s wonderful waiting staff, respendent in dazzling traditional Bavarian dress.

London Bierfest: bringing a true slice of Munich to a city of beer lovers.

The prize is strictly nonexchangeable or transferrable.

Valued at £1200, it must be used on Wednesday 5 October, 5.30pm.

WIN

MORE COMPETITIONS...

TOUR OF IRELAND

18

GUIDEBOOK

19

TOUR OF SCOTLAND

64

PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

64

CASH AND GUIDEBOOKS

68

BATH/STONEHENGE TRIP

69

Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions.

Tables can be booked online at londonbierfest.com

PREVIOUS WINNERS TNT 1455: HOMELANZ TICKETS Lee Evans

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PEARL BAR THE SCENE The interior of what was once the Pearl Assurance building in Holborn is a grand, formal affair with high ceilings, marble pillars and thousands of pearls hanging in strands between booths of seats and from walls and chandeliers.

It’s not the most original or imaginative of drinking environments, but you will definitely feel you’ve ticked the “posh drinks� box.

THE GRUB The adjoining restaurant serves modern French cuisine.

BEHIND THE BAR We’re here to try the Salad Bar cocktails, which, thanks to the alchemy-like skills of mixologist Anthony Balik and head chef Jun Tanaka are in a drinks class of their own. We start with a Waldorf, made using walnut-infused vodka and muddled grapes, served with a side of grape jelly. Second we marvel at the flavours swirling in the Greek, created by stirring gin with tomato consommÊ and cucumber ice cubes. Last, and our unanimous favourite, we try the Thai; chilliinfused cachaça, mango and papaya juice, peppered with chilli slices – it’s sweet, refreshing, spicy and absolutely delicious. These drinks are for sipping and will open your eyes to the possibilities of mixology.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails £13.75 VERDICT It’s hard to go back to vodka and coke after this, although the slightly sterile vibe in the bar itself isn’t such to encourage an all-night stay. FRANKIE MULLIN

252 High Holborn, WC1V 7EN

3 OF THE BEST

Five-a-day made fun

Holborn

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On a wooden board you’ll get chunky chips and a beef and foie gras burger. A true collision of pub grub and fine dining. £13.90

It’s only right the burger made by these seafood experts would be filled with shrimps and scallops. Topped with spiced mayo. £15.75

Baby spinach, Parma ham, buffalo mozzarella and chilli tomato jam make this a veritable Italian feast. Have it with a martini. ÂŁ11.95

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BITE SIZE

All American dining just got classy

POP YOUR COCKTAIL Not satisfied with the lack of alcohol in bubble tea (the latest craze from Taiwan, keep up), luxury Cantonese restaurant Grand Imperial London has taken the concept a step further with their new popping cocktails.

Fruity drinks are spiked with boba tapioca pearls (which pop in your mouth) and laced with sake or gin to make a grown-up version of the cutesy craze.

They cost £9.50, but they’re definitely worth it for the novelty value. grandimperiallondon.com

GETTING JUICY For a refreshing summer drink, Don Simón’s new juices are our pick. The tropical fruit and lemonade flavours make a tasty picnic choice or, even better, a mean cocktail ingredient.

Get your fruit juice fix at Asda and Sainsbury’s for £1.19 a bottle. asda.com

Photos: TNT

DINE LIKE A REBEL Ever wanted to taste edible fog, bring a ballerina to life or make a cocktail of bubbles? On August 18, the boundary-pushing Rebel Dining Society is teaming up with Bombay Sapphire to create a night of fine molecular mixology that lets you do just those things. They’re not giving any more away about the food and drink on offer, but they are promising a fresh and totally unique way of tasting, based around five different adventures. Tickets (from Bombay Sapphire’s Facebook page) are free. facebook.com/bombaysapphire

ALL STAR LANES AMERICAN DINER THE SCENE Filled to the gunnels with indie types in search of some grub after a game of all American bowling, All Star Lanes’ Brick Lane restaurant is your typical all American diner. The bright leather booth-style seats are brash and the red, white and blue theme isn’t confined to the US flag hanging on the wall.

THE GRUB The menu has just been given a some extra fine-dining touches, so as well as the likely culprits of BBQ ribs, Texas chili and the All Star 1/2lb prime beef burger, you can pick from dishes such as truffled wild mushroom and porcini soup, roasted pork belly and beef Carpaccio. We opt for English asparagus with poached egg and hollandaise to start, which is a beautiful contrast between crisp, comforting and sharp. The Asian-style seared tuna steak is pink-centred and tender, and its accompanying wilted Asian greens are swimming in ample quantities of a chilli and soy-laced sauce. It all feels incredibly grown up after ribbing each other over poor bowling skills and requests to put the sides up, so we end on a decadent and chocolatey rocky road sundae, which has the welcome extra scoop of coffee flavour ice cream as well as chunks of fudgey brownie.

The six-metre-long copper bar stocks premium and rare American spirits and aged bourbons. Beers and speciality cocktails are classic American and the All Star Julep is refreshing, sticky-sweet and intoxicating. For the even more sweet-toothed, there are alcoholic milkshakes, but if you’re feeling sophisticated, there are champagnes and a longer-than-your-usual-diner wine list.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails from £5.95; starters from £5; mains from £9 for a burger to £17 for a sirloin steak; desserts from £5.50.

VERDICT This is still a fun venue (with its bowling, karaoke booth, live music and clubnights) and it hasn’t lost its sense of excitement. Like its clientele, it has grown up and refined its tastes, but it still knows how to have a good time. CLARE VOOGHT BEHIND THE BAR

95 Brick Lane, E1 6QL

allstarlanes.co.uk

Liverpool Street

Shoreditch High Street

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

A clean sweep: locals unite

81707*

DVD piracy Ad: “‘You wouldn’t steal a television”’.

Evidently lots of people would.

Hamish The michael jackson concert line-up is shit.

Not going now.

Felicity “‘Rioters could spell disaster for British economy.”’ Since when did those Chavs know how to spell?

The Phantom Chur for the katchafire article. Spark one up for da kiwi boys. yeaaaaah!

Nesta Tuwhare Bloody Nokia predictive text. I just texted a few of my North London mates asking if they fancied a ‘pint’

Dave Those people who stole amy winehouse’s things are absolute scum

EMAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO LETTERS@TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Sally D Tom sturrock: England is N0 1 in the world at cricket. Suck it

Pommy git I rioted, but had to be careful not to pick anything up to throw. I’m not losing my incapacity benefits for anyone

JJ

TIPPING POINT

A GOOD MAN

Couldn’t agree more with Alison Grinter (TNT 1458). What gets me are establishments that include an automatic gratuity on the bill, then, when you pay by card, provide an option to include a tip on top. I know someone who accidentally tipped about 30 per cent.

They weren’t happy.

Nick Lee, via email

Tariq Jahan, the Birmingham father who appealed for calm in the wake of his son’s death during the riots is the sort of person we need more of.

His levelheaded attitude while rest for the country was grasping for answers and trying to decide who was to blame really put things in perspective. We’ll never agree on whose fault it was or what was the root cause was, but if we can show each other a little more respect and help our fellow humans – regardless of race, creed or social status, along their journey in life – then that’s a start.

Helen, via email.

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UTTER RETARDS! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the streets being torn apart by raging idiots. I’ve come to call Clapham home and I was overcome with sadness and anger as the beloved suburb was ripped apart by thugs. It’s since led me to question whether something like this would ever happen at home in Australia? I like to think that Australians would not destroy their own cities – cause they’re not fucking retards!

Lucy Stewart, via email

SMALL THINGS Anyone else spotted the miniature street art around East London? Pretty cool.

Who does it? Anyone know?

Jamal, via email CROATIA /70 THAILAND /76

Christian wins a three-day tour of Ireland from Shamrocker shamrockeradventures.com

YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @michaeleball: you can’t censor the internet like that, use it to track people down, but don’t stop people posting @kiwigirlie: police shld use it to convict rioters - not control social media @Welshbybirth: the lib dems are idiots and should be slapped around the face with a big wet kipper

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Christopher J. Rea: No such problems in China...Twitter and FB are banned here (apparently) Sarah Walkden: They should all be given a bloody good hiding!!

Naughty little shits!! Thats whats missing from their childhood!...A good bloody smack!

Keely Reichardt: Best festival tip?

Avoid wearing bright pink bob cut wigs.....go for something a bit more individual guys!

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Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

Being a Londoner is something to be proud of, more so after getting involved with the cleanup of this city of ours.

There I was among other proud Kiwis and Aussies, who all stood side-byside, broom-by-broom, shoulder-to-shoulder with born-and-bred Londoners and every race and creed on the planet.

London may have come under attack recently but these last few days London has united as one. One love!

Christian Simpson

Veronica K Can’t believe how quickly these ridiculous trends catch on. Just saw a crowd at the bus-stop ‘“vertical planking”’

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Email us at marketing@ tntmagazine.com with ‘Spotted’ in the subject line, email must include a photo of yourself! You’ve won a Lonely Planet (lonelyplanet. com) guide of your choice.

NO 4 CLUB Fulham, London Saturday, August 6 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/ TNT

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LONDONSOUND

ALISON GRINTER ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR I was starting to tire of Lady Gaga’s never-ending stream of publicity stunts.

From raw meat dress to threatening to sue Covent Garden shop ‘Baby Gaga’ which sold human breast-milk icecream. It’s all a little bit ‘yawn’.

However, with her latest stunt, sorry, expression of artistic brilliance, Ms Gaga might be on to something. Looking to all the world like a young Serge Gainsbourg, she’s reprised her male alter ego, Jo Calderone, for the artwork for her new single You And I. Male musos from Bowie to Placebo’s Brian Molko to Nirvana have long dabbled with androgyny, unafraid to don a frock or apply some lippy.

But it’s been a long time since we’ve seen a female artist looking as unashamedly masculine as Patti Smith did in her heyday. Chalk one up for the outre Gaga.

What do you think? Email me: alison.grinter@tntmagazine.com

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BRUNO MARS Hammersmith Apollo AUG 16-17 | DOORS 7PM | £25-£35

It’s apt Bruno Mars spent a good chunk of his early career as a Michael Jackson impersonator – he was something of a child musical prodigy himself. Born in Honolulu as Peter Gene Hernandez, he was fronting his uncle’s band by the time he was four, performing Elvis covers, no less.

In 2003, he moved to California, changed his name – “A lot of girls say I’m out of this world, so I was like, ‘I guess I’m from Mars’” – and signed to Motown.

Though this legendary label might have seemed the perfect fit for a singer blessed with a soulful falsetto, the deal didn’t work out, forcing Mars to change tack by forming production team The Smeezingtons. Cutting his teeth as a music producer, he went on to co-author Flo Rida’s 2009 smash hit Right Round, as well as penning songs for Alexandra Burke, Travie McCoy and Sean Kingston.

The 25-year-old had a similarly vertiginous rise as a solo artist. By 2010, he seemed to have colonised the airwaves after releasing his Sixties-flavoured debut album, Doo Wops & Hooligans, and lending his voice to B.o.B’s chart-storming hit tune, Nothin’ On You. Whether you head down to the Apollo this week or not will depend on your tolerance for soppy love songs delivered in Mar’s trademark croon. From the soaring Just The Way You Are to the obvious chick-pleaser Marry You, Mars excels at them. This might be one for the laydeez.

Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH

Hammersmith

hammersmith-apollo.com

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THE KOOKS

NEW ARTIST

GIG TUE, AUG 16. £15

Since meeting at Brighton Music College in the mid-2000s, indie poster boys The Kooks have made a nice little earner out of combining 1960s British Invasion rock with a post-punk sensibility.

The quartet have just finished their third album, Junk Of The Heart, due out on September 12 – so here’s your chance to get a sneak preview.

Photos: Colin Lane; Getty

Dingwalls Dingwalls, Middle Yard, NW1 8AB dingwalls.com Camden Town

THE BIG CHILL HOUSE 5TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!

HULA BOOGIE ELVIS NIGHT

CLUB

CLUB

WED, AUG 17. 7PM-1AM. Free

SUN, AUG 21. 7PM- 1AM. £7

Having made good on its promise to “bring a taste of Shoreditch to King’s Cross”, The Big Chill House celebrates its fifth birthday by bringing together its favourite DJ’s – Jimmy The Brute, Doctors Orders, Oliver Night – for one night.

There’s free drinks with a voucher download.

Elvis couldn’t get enough of Hawaii so south London’s tiki-themed cocktail bar is the perfect venue for Hula Boogie’s homage to the King.

Tribute act Black Elvis will perform, followed by DJs Miss Aloha and Reverend Boogie, who will spin the quiffed one’s classic hits and covers.

The Big Chill House 257-259 Pentonville Rd, N1 bigchill.net/house King’s Cross, N1 9NL

South London Pacific Tiki Bar 340 Kennington Road, SE11 3LD hulaboogie.co.uk Oval/Kennington

ONE LOVE FESTIVAL

THE HOFF AT G-A-Y

THE ROOTS, KANO

GIG

CLUB

GIG

AUG 19-21. £110 (w/e incl camping)

SAT, AUG 20. 10.30PM-5AM. £2

FRI, AUG 19. £50-£35

Created in 2008 to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Bob Marley’s famous concert of the same name, the One Love Festival continues to serve up the best in reggae and dub. Acts confirmed this year include Linval Thompson, Dawn Penn, Finley Quaye, Dennis Alcapone, David Rodigan, Dub Incorporation, Macka B & The Roots Ragga Band, and Ken Boothe OD.

Ah, David Hasselhoff – he’s a man of many talents. He once helped bring down the Berlin Wall, don’t you know? He’s also a gay icon and to prove it, the ex-Baywatch star will be at the legendary G-A-Y club to introduce his daughters, Taylor-Ann and Hayley, who make up pop duo Bella Vida. The mini-Hoffs will perform their single, Kiss Me Bang Bang.

Philadelphian hip hop crew The Roots have never done things by the book. Their first major label album, Do You Want More?!!!??!, released in 1995, was produced sans the usual hip hop trope of sampling other people’s songs. Their reputation for electrifying live shows precedes them and for their latest foray into the UK they are joined by homegrown rap artist Kano.

Hainault Forest Country Park Fox Burrow Road, Chigwell, IG7 4QN Grange Hill onelovefestival.co.uk

G-A-Y Heaven, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG g-a-y.co.uk Embankment

Hammersmith Apollo Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH Hammersmith hammersmith-apollo.com

WRETCH 32 THE BUZZ SO FAR Wretch 32 (real name Jermaine Scot) has been wowing fellow performers and industry folk alike with his outsidethe-box take on classic hip hop.

Dubbed “the rapper’s rapper”, the erstwhile grime MC from Tottenham has already given us a taste of his potential with chart-topping single Unorthodox, featuring Example. 50 Cent has blogged about him, and P Diddy and Mark Ronson have asked him to jump up on stage with them – this guy’s a star in the making.

THE CRITICS SAY “Wretch 32’s Traktor is one tune I thought: ‘I’m having that!’ It’s a sound that does something to me.” Liam Gallagher THE PLUG Single Don’t Go featuring Josh Kumra out Aug 14. Album Black And White follows on Aug 22.

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CLUBLISTINGS

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MONDAY 15 The Doctor’s Orders Present RZA, Spin Doctor, Chris P Cuts and Main Squeeze DJs play hip-hop and soul.

East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 8pm-1am. £8.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375).

8pm-midnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire.

BOOK NOW!

YoYo Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin a mix of hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime, plus live performances from Plants and Tali featuring More Like Trees.

Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459).

7pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.

Happy Monday Chill-out anthems courtesy of the residents. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

I Love Mondays DJ Victor spins commercial dance, disco, pop, garage, R‘n’B and funky house.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

10pm-3.30am. £5, NUS £1.

Monday Midnight Mass Nicos and Shane spin indie and rock. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). 11pm-3am. £3.

Rehab DJs Val, Satoko, Zoe Demonettes, Joe, Saral and Hale supply indie, electro and pop.

The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.

Salsa Cellar Resident DJs play Latin funk, salsa and reggae. Downstairs At The King’s Head, Crouch End Hill, N8 8AA (020 8340 1028).

9pm-late. £7, concs £4.

TUESDAY 16 Bootcamp Rob C and Scewpulous play techno and house. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903).

9pm-2am. £3, mems £2 before 10pm.

Club Fandango Resident DJs play indie and rock. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191).

8pm-late. £5, w/flyer £4.

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

Latino Sound DJ Kirisis and CLI play R‘n’B, hip-hop and dance.

Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-late. £5-£10.

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3.

Stupid Tuesday Funky and soulful house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977).

9pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.

22

RICHIE HAWTIN PRESENTS PLASTIKMAN Brixton Academy. Fri, Dec 2. £27.50.

Richie Hawtin’s iconic alter ego Plastikman will be pitching up in Brixton later this year for a night of storming electro and eye-popping visuals.

SW9 9SL

o2academybrixton.co.uk

WEDNESDAY 17 Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Diffrent Strokes Manny Norte, Phatcatz, Maintain, CJ I DJ, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play neo soul, 1980s pop, US house and R‘n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950).

9pm-2am. £10, £5 before 11pm.

Filthy Habits Student Night DJs play chart hits from the 1980s, 1990s and now. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

8.30pm-3am. £5, NUS £3.

Guanabara Samba School Samba, Afrobeat, pop, house and nu disco, plus Capoeira masterclasses, break dancers, Brazilian street food and cocktail making. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

Ice Cream Sound Issue 2 Party Mosca, Murlo, Hipsters Don’t Dance DJs, Why Delila, Jim Bones and The Large supply dancehall, reggae and soca. Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). 8pm-midnight. £5.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Brixton

Voix De Ville DJs spin vintage swing and blues, plus cabaret and burlesque performances from Ian Stroughair, Dom Pipkin, Elsie Diamond, Pixie Le Knot, Betsy Rose, Abi Collins and Banbury Cross. Proud Cabaret, Minster Court, EC3R 7AA (020 7482 3867).

7.30pm-1.30am. £10.

THURSDAY 18 Booster DJ Ferno, Sharon O’Love, Dan K, La Gosse, Fabio Luigi and Zack Hadley play house, tech-house and electro. Area, Albert Embankment, SE1 7HD (020 7091 0080).

9pm-3am. £7, concs £5.

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass.

The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113).

10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Everything Taboo DJ Andrew Elmore plays retro electro-pop and acid disco. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before midnight.

Full Moon Resident DJs spin chart, dance, electro, R‘n’B, hip-hop, drum ‘n’ bass and dubstep.

Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 9pm-3am. £5.

Glitz & Glamour Dusty O and James Barr play house, R‘n’B and dance. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Push It Good DJ TBX spins old skool hip-hop, funk, soul and dancehall. The Silver Bullet, Station Place, N4 2DH (020 7619 3639). 10pm-3am. £3.

Hip Hop Circus Underground hip-hop with DJ sets from DJ Nonames and DJ Rattus Rattus, with live performances from Bang On!, Kyza, Dubbledge and TB. The Nest, Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XJ (020 7354 9993). 9pm-4am. £5.

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

The Mink Revue Resident DJs play blues, R‘n’B, funk, swing and soul, plus live burlesque and cabaret performances. RS Lounge, Woodford New Rd, E17 3PR (020 8509 6450). 8.30pm-late. £8.

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Calentito Pop, R‘n’B and soul.

Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

Euphoria Angel Kiss, Oliver MARSH, Intro, Marc Phill, MEF and DJ AD play electro, house, techno, pop, dance and R‘n’B. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (0208 993 2915).

9pm-late. £10, ladies free before 11pm.

Favela Blockparty DJ Six 3 plays Brazilian funk, Latin, house, R‘n’B and hip-hop, plus Samba Soul Transatlantico perform live. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

8pm-late. £10, free before 9pm.

The Gallery Gareth Emery, Marcel Woods, Fabio XB, Mark Wilkinson, Gavyn Mytchel, Enrico Mantini, The Resistance, The Fome, Roland Roxmaker and Roxmaker supply trance, techtrance, house and electro. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £13.

Inigo Reunion Party Resident DJs play house, disco, funk and R‘n’B. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

Innervisions: An Evening At The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari Henrik Schwarz, Ame and Dixon play a live score to the 1920s film Dr Caligari, plus an artistic installation. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008).

7.45pm-2am. £25, adv £18.

Jungle Syndicate Jungle and drum ‘n’ bass from DJs including Paradox, Equinox, Bizzy B, Earl Grey, Chris Inperspective, Otako, wAgAwAgA, DJ Disowned, Micky Freeze, Sargy, Raggamuffin, Sketch, Tiny Taste, Resinate and Inane.

The Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Rd, E1 1EW (020 7375 3774).

10pm-6am. £10, £7 before 11pm.

Official Ed Hardy Christian Audigier Vodka Party Ace & Vis, Milktray, Godfather, City Vybez and Kat play R‘n’B and garage.

Curve Bar, Lewisham Way, SE4 1UY (07984 242424). 10pm-4am. £10.

Psyrhythmix Free Party DJs Fordy, Oontz, Neutrino, Spunky Lobster and Prozak play psy trance. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322).

11pm-7am. £10, free before midnight.

SATURDAY 20 Bootylicious R‘n’B, hip-hop, soca and dancehall from DJs Philly, Jeffrey Hinton, Kartel Brown and Biggy C. Club Colosseum, Nine Elms Ln, SW8 5NQ (020 7720 3609). 11pm6am. £13, £10 before midnight, £7, £8 before 1am, £6 before noon.

EV + Mind Yuh Business Present Tony Humphries, Stuart Patterson, Terry Farley, Tim Kennoy, David Hill and Dean Rudland play house, vintage soul, funk and disco. East Village, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HX (020 7739 5173). 9pm-3.30am. £18.

Fabric Levon Vincent, Stacey Pullen, Bruno Pronsato, Brendon Moeller, Mike Denhert and Delta Funktionen play house, electro and techno. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm8am. £19, adv £23 inc CD, adv £18, NUS £10, £9 after 4am, £6 after 5am.

Latin Passion Victor Hugo & The Mambo Boys and Jorge Andre play Latin beats. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm2am, last adm 1am. £10, £8 before 11pm, £4 before 9pm, £2 before 8pm.

Moondance The Camden Palace Reunion Classic house from a huge line-up of DJs and MCs including Ratpack, Slipmatt, Billy Bunter, Nicky Blackmarket and Elis Dee. Free Flow and Speech, with live performances from Baby D and Rozalla. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527).

9pm-5am. £25, adv £19.50.

Prime Time Jamie, Tennant, Djay D, Periferal and Hemlock play house and trance. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322).

11pm-7am. £12, £8 before midnight.

Supernova Orion Muzik, Chase Buch, Felipe Valenzuela, Paride Saraceni, Eduardo Tuccillo and ETA play house and techno. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

10pm-8am. £15, adv £13.

Tempo Enterno Resident DJs play house and techno. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

SUNDAY 21 African Music Festival African music from DJs Eric Soul, KMT, Oya Bun, Bogossy, with live music from T Roy, Bumi Thomas, Kasai Masai, Benin City and artists from The Bush Meat LP. The CLF Arts Cafe, Rye Ln, SE15 4ST (07961 998527).

7pm-4am. £8, £5 before 10pm.

La Dolce Vita Stefan B, Garth Hill, Justin Hayward, Adrian H and DJ AC spin house and electro.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-11pm. Free.

In The Box DJs Enzo Gomes, Manjit, Clubholic, Kid K and Beppe Gallo play dance and electro.

Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 7pm-1am. £10, £5 before 9pm, ladies free before 9pm.

WetYourSelf Antonio De Angelis, Cormac and Peter Pixzel play house and disco. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

11pm-6am. £10, adv £8, NUS £5.

Photos: TNT

White Heat DJs Matty, Marcus and Olly play indie, punk and electro. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

8pm-3am. £6, adv £4 & £5.

FRIDAY 19 Bedrock DJs Little Chris and George spin indie, electro, rock, retro and pop. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-4am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight.

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MONDAY 15 24 Pesos The London-based outfit performs alternative blues. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £8-£10.

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Big Sean West side hip-hop from the Detroit-based rapper, performing material from his debut album, Finally Famous, which was released on the Island Def Jam label and features guest appearances from Kanye West, Pharrell and The Dream. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £15.

Skeletonwitch Extreme metal by the band from Athens, Ohio.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £10.

Suicidal Tendencies Hardcore from the Californian five-piece. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £17.50.

TUESDAY 16 Baxter Dury, Lupen Crook Deadpan vocals over indie-rock from the Buckinghamshire-born singer-songwriter and son of Blockheads frontman, Ian Dury.

The Slaughtered Lamb, Great Sutton St, EC1V 0DX (020 7253 1516). £7.50.

Electrelane The Brighton-based band plays indie-rock.

XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £14.50.

Explode The TV Indie-rock by the London-based band. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £4.

Photos: Getty Images

FRIDAY 19

FEIST London Palladium. Mon, Oct 17. £20-£30.

The Canadian folk-pop songstress will be back to unveil her new album, Metals, her first since her stunning 2007 offering The Reminder.

W1F 7TF

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WEDNESDAY 17 Anchor And The Wolf The outfit from Swindon and Portsmouth plays soaring folkpop. 93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). £7, adv £5.

The Big Girls Blues Band Funk, soul and blues outfit.

Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £8, free before 10pm.

Buffalo Ink, Parallel Alt pop with loops and samples by the London-based duo. Charlie Wright’s International Bar, Pitfield St, N1 6EN (020 7490 8345). £5, concs £4.

Francois & The Atlas Mountains The singer-songwriter and musician leads his Bristol-based outfit in playing quirky alt pop.

The Wilmington Arms, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4RL (020 7837 1384). £6, adv £5.

Get People, Jonquil, Alpines Electronica from the Londonbased three-piece. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £6.

The Kooks Luke Pritchard leads the Brightonian indie-pop four-piece.

Dingwalls, Camden Lock, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AB (020 7428 0010/ cc 020 7428 5929). £23.50.

Huw Joseph, Phoenix Down Pop-rock by the Melbourne-based singer-songwriter. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £6, w/flyer £5.

Bruno Mars Pop from the Hawaiian singer-songwriter. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £25 & £35.

Mads Langer Commercial indie-pop by the Danish singer-songwriter. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £9.

The Mighty Between Contemporary rock by the London-based band.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

Dan Reinstein, Paul Jayasinha And Tim Lapthorne The three-piece plays classic hard bop. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £8.

Chad VanGaalen Dreamy indie-folk from the Canadian singer-songwriter and illustrator.

Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £10, adv £9.

The Cave Singers Indie-folk from the Seattle-based band.

Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £11.

The Dead End Indie-rock by the London-based band. Hope And Anchor, Upper St, N1 1RL (020 7354 1312). £6, concs £5.

Alex The Great The East London-based outfit plays alt folk. Cargo, Rivington St, EC2A 3AY (020 7739 3440). £8.

Fixers The Oxford-based outfit plays experimental pop.

Shacklewell Arms, Shacklewell Ln, E8 2EB (020 7249 0810). £5.

Me, Sophie Yau The Australian four-piece plays melodic rock.

Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £6.

Bespoke Union, Alvarez Kings, Marcel The London-based fivepiece plays alternative rock. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £6, adv/w/flyer £5.

Anita Wardell Australian scat and bebop vocalist.

Pizza Express Jazz Club, Dean St, W1D 3RW (020 7437 9595/ cc 0845 602 7017). £17.50.

Alan A Eccentric pop-rock by the London-based singer-songwriter.

Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). £7.

The Hauntological Orchestra Ghostly electronic experimentation from the ensemble. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £12, adv £10.

SATURDAY 20

Swashbuckle The American outfit plays pirate metal.

O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £8.

Laurie Nicoll, Dirt Urchins, Citizens! Indie-pop by the London-based singer-songwriter.

Monto Water Rats, Gray’s Inn Rd, WC1X 8BZ (020 7837 4412). £6.

Brad Paisley: H2O II Tour The singer-songwriter perform his country and Southern rock songs. O2 Arena, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0844 856 0202). £35.

The Peppermint Hunting Lodge Alt rock with a spacey, psychedelic feel by the band from Gloucestershire. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

Oxford Circus Zoo Zero, The Din The London-based band plays experimental psychedelic noisepop. Buffalo Bar, Upper St, N1 1RU (020 7359 6191). £6, adv £5.

THURSDAY 18 Bury Your Dead, For The Fallen Dreams The American five-piece plays hardcore metal.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

Drugstore, Sweet Sweet Lies Indie-tinged dream pop from Isabel Monteiro’s London-based band. St-Giles-In-The-Fields, St Giles High St, WC2H 8LG (020 7240 2532/ cc 020 7403 3331). £14.

Fjorka, Ikoustic Urban funk and hip-hop from the eight-piece.

The Bowery, New Oxford St, WC1A 1EP (020 7580 3057/ cc 0844 477 1000). £8, adv £6.

Joglaresa Traditional English music from the 12th to the 15th centuries by the group, with pieces including Maid In The Moor Lay, Lullay Lullow and Worldes Blis Ne Last No Throwe.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8.50.

LizzySpit, Culsh Inc, Sincere Deceivers Folk-pop by the London-based singer-songwriter.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

Machine Rox Electro-industrial two-piece from London. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £9, adv £7.

Metropolis High energy soul six-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm.

Big Hat, Katie Ellesley Retro psychedelic pop by the Londonbased band. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £8, £7 before 10pm.

Bleech, Soldier Grunge-rock from the London-based threepiece. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £6.

Brontide Instrumental math-rock by the Brighton-based band. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £6.

Danny Fontaine And The Horns Of Fury Ska and ska-punk by the Kingston and London-based band.

229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £8, adv £6.

Dilanga Rumba The outfit plays percussion and vocal-driven Latin and Afro-Cuban music.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8.50.

Empire State R‘n’B and soul outfit. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm.

Filthy Pedro Anti-folk by the singer-songwriter from Anglesey.

12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

Hereharehere Haunting alternative a capella from the Brighton-based two-piece, featuring throat effects and vocal incantation. Cafe Oto, Ashwin St, E8 3DL (020 7923 1231). £6.

Intense, Neverworld Metal fivepiece. Bridgehouse 2, Bidder St, E16 4ST (020 7474 3200). £7, mems £5.

Healer/Monster, Black Mesa The London-based outfit plays alt rock. Bull And Gate, Kentish Town Rd, NW5 2TJ (020 8826 5000). £6, w/flyer £5.

Mavrickz The Hertfordshirebased three-piece plays electropop. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £7.

Hong Kong In The 60s Electro-pop by the London-based outfit. The Wilmington Arms, Rosebery Ave, EC1R 4RL (020 7837 1384). £6, adv £5.

Dave Mchugh Band The band plays blues and rock. Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/ cc 020 7274 5537). £12, adv £8.50.

JunkGods, NX2 Space Patrol Indie-punk from the Manchesterbased three-piece. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £7, concs £5.

The Mods Johnny Warman and his band perform music from 1964 to 1971 by The Kinks, The Who and the Small Faces. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £12.

Kasai Masai Nickens Nkoso leads his London-based outfit in playing traditional African rhythms with an urban twist.

Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). Free.

Laika Dog, Tony Wright The West Yorkshire-based band plays rock.

Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £6.

Penya Vocalist Angelica Lopez leads her outfit in performing Latin music with folk and rock influences.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £8.50.

Rafven The Swedish collective plays Gypsy-punk.

Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £9, adv £6.

Scroobius Pip Hip-hop by the London-based singer. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8.

The Roots, Kano The influential Philadelphia-based outfit plays politically-charged hip-hop, funk and soul. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0844 844 4748). £35-£50.

Reuben Richards & Soul Train Blues, funk and soul from the seven-piece. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £5-£20.

Gordon Webber’s Rd Runners The nine-piece big band plays soul and Motown. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm.

Ruff N Smooth Hiplife by the Ghanaian artist. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £10-£30.

Stereo Son Indie-rock from the London-based four-piece.

The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £8, £7 before 10pm.

SUNDAY 21 Goldmaster All Stars Ska and reggae by the band from Leighon-Sea. Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £6, concs £4.50.

H2O, Chief Hardcore punk from the American outfit.

The Underworld, Camden High St, NW1 0NE (020 7482 1932). £12.

John Otway, Wild Willy Barrett Eccentric rock singer-songwriter with a sense of humour. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £10-£12.

Trash Talk Hardcore punk from the Californian fourpiece. The CLF Arts Cafe, Rye Ln, SE15 4ST (07961 998527). £10.

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Out and about: experience the best of the country while still in London

[Caption] 24

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LONDONFOCUS

The Good Life London is indeed the city with everything. To the point that, without really leaving, you can go a bit country WORDS TOM STURROCK

Meet Vince. He’s our quad bike instructor. He’s about 50 with close-cropped hair and the no-nonsense air of an exmilitary man. The kind you might expect to describe the war as “the best years of his life”. His safety briefing is to the point.“Go where I go,” he says, “or you’ll veer off the track and slam into a tree and you’ll die. Keep both hands on the handlebars – no drinking Fosters or puffing on Bensons – or you’ll lose control of the bike and you’ll die.”

It must be said that this ever-present threat of death is at odds with the tranquility of our surroundings. We’re about half-an-hour south of London by train, down in Surrey, at Priory Events, which offers city-slickers a whole range of outdoor activities on their rambling property, where lush paddocks are interspersed with dense thickets. It feels like the kind of English countryside where you could easily happen upon a community of talking woodland animals.

“When you go around a corner, make sure you lean into it,” Vince says. “Or you’ll go up on two wheels and then the bike will fall on top of you and you’ll smash your pelvis. And you’ll die.”

With that, we rev up our quad bikes and roll out in single file. Cue the photo-real Mario Kart flashbacks. Like rough tattoos crisscrossing the soil, tracks from previous groups are visible throughout the property.

Initially, we stick to the narrow pathways on the outskirts of the paddocks. It’s easy to speed along the straight lines but necessary to brake sharply before the corners. There’s been rain overnight and there are some deep puddles to be negotiated. Going through them at any kind of speed throws up a hail of foul-smelling mud, which soon coats my shirtsleeves. That’s the scent of country life, that is.

Vince is way out in front – his job is clearly his hobby.

Once he’s satisfied that we can all steer and brake with enough efficacy to avoid serious injury, he pulls up and shuts off his quad bike’s engine.

“We’re going to tackle some of these hills now,” he says.

“But make sure you slow down at the top, because if you don’t, you’ll take off and you’ll die.

“Also, stay on the track, because there’s some metal on the side and if you crash into that, you’ll sever your jugular … and then you'll die.”

And we’re away again, this time weaving along a narrow path covered by a thick canopy of trees. The odd over-

hanging branch will thwack into my face if I don’t duck in time and the corners are tight enough that, if I'm not switched on, it's easy come a cropper. Vince wasn’t lying about the hills, though. I foolishly accelerate up the first one and, as the bike bucks at the top, I can feel the inertia lifting me out of my seat.

Note to self: Vince knows everything.

After a series of bumpy hills and sharp bends, we’re back out in the clear, in a vast field that doubles as a perfect figureeight racetrack. Even from about 20 metres behind Vince, I can hear the growl of his engine.

Clearly, this is where we open up the bikes and, surprisingly, their top speed is pretty bloody quick; quick enough to accelerate thrillingly into a wide corner. It’s great fun. Proper, palpable, you-know-you’re-having-it fun.

There’s a whole network of paddocks and tracks to explore but after a couple of hours, just as they’re beginning to feel familiar, it’s time to return to the sheds.

The road back, though, is scarred by a deep, ugly furrow – you’ve got to make sure the bike straddles it. While concentrating on this, I fail to notice the devilish kink in the ››

Just like Mario Kart TNTMAGAZINE.COM

25

Twin imposters of failure and success path ahead. Before I can react, it’s upon me – I oversteer, the back wheels jam in the deep groove before kicking up uncontrollably, causing the bike to career off the path, headlong into a spikey patch of brambles.

The bike’s circuits short themselves, leaving me to try to pull it out of the bushes backwards. Vince, who has ridden back, stands on the path next to me, shaking his head. The futility of my attempt to extricate my bike is compounded by the knowledge that I have disappointed him.

Fortunately, I do better at the clay pigeon shooting. In fact, I'm a natural, as though my inner gun-nut has finally managed to claw its way out.

For the uninitiated, two clay pigeon machines – they look like they'd also be able to fire tennis balls – are set up, one about 40 yards away and one right next to the little hut we're shooting from. Once you're ready, with the butt of the rifle wedged into your shoulder and the sights all lined up, you give the signal and a clay comes firing out of the far machine. You track it, wait for its trajectory to plateau, and then blow it away.

I’ve never fired a gun in my life but, fortified by the certainty that bravado is a seamless substitute for skill and experience, I ice the first six clay pigeons without thinking twice. Stone cold. You gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep.

“That’s obviously far too easy,” the guy working the traps remarks. I shrug. Yeah, you’re right, mate. Maybe it is too easy. What else have you got?

We scale up quickly – when the clays come out of the closer trap, they're harder to pick up and the longer you hold fire, the further away they fly. It's tricky. Eventually, we're firing one clay from the top trap, and then another from the bottom. I’m like a lizard watching a fly. The first clay explodes, before I strafe left and shatter the second clay, just as it begins arcing away from me. I glance at the trap operator. I can do this all day. I’ll make it rain out here.

If only Vince could see me now. ❚ Book outdoor activities with Priory Events Sandy Lane, RH1 4EJ prioryevents.com

Redhill

SHOOTING SCHOOL

LONDON KAYAK TOURS

QUAD NATION

RULES RESTAUARANT

There’s some basic clay pigeon shooting on offer, but if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, you might fancy signing up to go shooting on their grouse course. You might need a lesson first. And, let’s face it – your countrified experience wouldn’t be complete without getting properly decked out in a fetching tweed ensemble.

Luckily, that’s also on offer.

You can paddle down Regent’s Canal, past London Zoo towards Little Venice and Regent’s Park. Alternatively, if you pick another tour, you could find yourself floating along the Thames, admiring the cityscape from its famous waterway. It’s great exercise but get involved before the end of summer because it won’t be much fun in the rain.

Just you and your mates and the open road, all aboard a humming 150cc quad. Well, not quite the open road but the rolling grasslands of west London. There’s a winding, hilly course that will keep you on your toes. Watch out for the bumps in the road and the muddy trenches just waiting to leave you splattered. A great chance to burn rubber and get messy.

Once you’ve taken all that exercise, head down to Rules for a proper country feed – this restaurant is known for its game and the season gets under way this week. If you've never tried it before – you're in for a treat. The grouse is the signature dish, but make sure you try the venison and even a bit of rabbit. Take note, they come up a treat on the barbecue.

Depends when you book Sharvel Lane, UB5 6RA shootingschool.co.uk Northolt

Dates vary The Pirate Castle, Oval Road, NW1 7EA thamesriver adventures.co.uk Camden Town

Depends when you book Edward Rd, UB5 6RA goballistic.co.uk/quad-biking Northolt

Open every day 35 Maiden Lane, WC2E 7LB rules.co.uk Charing Cross

£45

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Steve Lamacq From the birth of grunge to a Gallagher brothers’ meltdown – the veteran DJ and journalist has seen it all. Here he tells us about witnessing music history first-hand INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER

You are credited with discovering bands such as Pulp and Elastica – how do you find new groups today?

It’s probably much the same – it’s spending seven hours going through CDs on a Sunday.

You will hear about bands, but you just have to work out [whether they will be a hit] in your head. Before she was signed, I booked Florence And The Machine to do a BBC Introduction showcasing at South By Southwest festival in Texas, and people were like: “Really? She’s just a girl and a guitarist no one’s ever heard of.”

But you could see there was talent. She was the first to emerge with something other people have tried to impersonate. You can just tell when someone has something which is just slightly different but they’re very good at it. But to do that, you have to go through many nights of hell seeing bands who aren’t very good. The irony is the more rubbish bands you see, the more likely it is that you will understand it when you see something which is really good.

Photos: TNT

You were a journalist at the NME in the late Eighties/ early Nineties – that must have been an exciting time.

It was because it was the birth of ‘Madchester’ and the early days of grunge. I interviewed Nirvana before they signed to Geffen – all three of them were sharing a room at a B&B in Shepherd’s Bush. Dave Grohl had only just joined the band and didn’t do the interview – but while I was talking to the other two, he walked in carrying a black bin-bag of their laundry. He took it to the bathroom and started washing socks in the bath. Krist Novoselic was in bed with a cold so he did the entire interview from under the covers, and I sat next to Kurt Cobain talking about the demos they were making. Then we went out to do the photoshoot at a playground across the road and that’s where we took that iconic doe-eyed shot of Kurt where he’s looking up through his hair.

Tell us about the time the Gallagher brothers got into a fight while on one of your radio shows.

One of them [Liam] walked out and there was quite a lot of unfortunate swearing. It was a very revealing interview because it gave an insight into their relationship – Liam was the younger

Steve Lamacq: at home among the music gear

brother who wanted attention. If you took your eyes off him for a moment to listen to the older brother [Noel], Liam started fidgeting. They were probably just like that as kids.

Richey Edwards from Manic Street Preachers carved “4 Real” into his arm with a razor blade when you were interviewing them – was that the most shocking moment of your career?

It is the one that’s the hardest to make sense of.

We have more of an idea about context now, when looking back as we know more about Richey Edwards [he disappeared in 1995 and is presumed dead]. At the time I didn’t really know him and I don’t think many people did. So, yes, at that time it was the worst moment. You could tell it was quite shocking just by the reaction in the NME offices the next day – I don’t think anyone could believe what had happened. It was certainly the most striking way to make a point.

Do you still get grief from Manics fans over the incident?

No – touch wood. I had very little connection with them after that. You’re seen as an enemy just because you don’t like the band. I’ve slagged off other musicians and got exactly the same thing – but you have to be honest. I was the first one to take the Manics to task. They rose to the challenge and argued back.

You once went to 197 gigs in one year – how did you cope with that?

You start by writing down all the names of the bands, as you’ll certainly forget some of them.

Otherwise it will come to the point that you’ll go to see a group six months later and think: “Oh, I’ve seen this band before and they were rubbish!” So you write them down.

Abbey Road studios are celebrating their 80th anniversary with a symphony in a park – why?

There were proposals to have a concert with bands, but there are problems with that. Firstly there are too many festivals going on at the moment, and secondly it’s very hard to get the bands together. So this is a way of celebrating 80 years at Abbey Road in a slightly more imaginative way. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra will be playing some of the key works that have been recorded or performed at Abbey Road throughout the years. The event starts with a piece by Edward Elgar who opened Abbey Road in 1931, and will then feature amazing pop music history such as the Beatles, Pink Floyd and Elbow songs all rearranged by the Philharmonic.

Compering American Express @ Symphony At The Park, Chiswick House, W4 2RP. Aug 20-21. Tickets Chiswick from £45. symphonyatthepark.com

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Away from Hogwarts, Mad-Eye Moody was quite the ladies’ man

THE GUARD FILM review by Tom Sturrock STARRING: Brendan Gleeson, Don Cheadle | 15 | 96mins

COWBOYS & ALIENS FILM STARRING: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford 12A | 112mins

Sci-fi meets the Wild West when a spaceship arrives in Arizona in 1873 to take over Earth. But the interlopers must first get past a posse of cowboys and native Americans led by Jake Lonergan (Craig) and Woodrow Dolarhyde (Ford). Directed by Jon Favreau, who helmed Iron Man and Iron Man 2, the premise for this film is the very definition of high-concept.

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Irish cop Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) is first seen arriving at a horrific car crash.

He rifles through the pockets of one of the dead and finds a bag of LSD tablets.

He shrugs and pops one in his mouth. It’s an entrée to Gleeson’s blackly funny, relentlessly anarchic turn – one that elevates The Guard above its shortcomings.

Slick FBI agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) shows up and tells the local cops that a bumper shipment of drugs is coming into town. Problem is, all the other cops are corrupt, meaning Boyle and Everett must work together. After being repeatedly told by other characters that Boyle is unpredictable, unconventional and enigmatic, we’re left with a familiar trope. Two odd-couple cops come to rely on each other despite their differences – it’s Lethal Weapon Goes Gaelic.

But the film backs its cast and its script, eschewing cookie-cutter pyrotechnics for fixed-camera close-ups and some of the most absorbing small talk since Pulp Fiction. The bleak atmosphere of coastal Ireland is expertly conjured and, like Tarantino’s opus, The Guard boasts a killer soundtrack and a wonderful rogues’ gallery of seedy weirdos: small-town hookers, feral kids and ageing IRA fixers.

On the downside, The Guard suffers the indie-flick curse of cramming in story elements – a cop’s widow, a dying mother – that either fall flat or go nowhere.

There’s also some try-hard quirkiness that borders on self-parody – the villains are introduced arguing about philosophy and regularly bemoan society’s ills. Still, it’s an eminently watchable, stylishly shot genre mash-up that hits its comic marks.

GOOD FOR: Open-minded and film-literate audiences who appreciate the details

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JEREMY HUNTER: LET’S CELEBRATE 365

GIGGLE!

EXHIBITION

A major retrospective of photojournalist Jeremy Hunter’s work, this exhibition features 35 years of reportage spanning 60 countries. Its aim is to address international community cohesion through documenting some of the world’s greatest and most ancient cultures and their celebrations. Held in two outdoor settings.

Ha ha!

Photos: Peru - Paucartambo Festival. Protecting Virgen del Carmen; © 2011 Stephen Cumminsk

BBC Big Screens Walthamstow & Woolwich. Aug 15-Sep 9.

Free bbc.co.uk Wlthmstw/ Wlwich Arsenal

GENIUS, MADMAN,OTHER

JOURNEY’S END

COMEDY

THEATRE

Deadpan comic James Mason, who has been compared to Stewart Lee, presents his ambivalent stand-up show, which promises “childish, attention-seeking, cod philosophising, borderline-functioning-alcoholic pseudoinsight”. He’s a relative newcomer so this is a chance to see a comic genius in the making.

The atmosphere builds slowly, but the ultimate message of RC Sherriff’s 1928 World War I drama retains all its power to shock in this depiction of front line soldiers served up as cannon fodder by the bigwigs in control. David Grindley’s latest production does the brave soldiers proud as they prepare to meet their fate. LK

Sheephaven Bay 2 Mornington Stt, NW1 7QD, Aug 18-19. £6. camdenfringe.com Mornington Crescent

Duke of York’s St Martin’s Ln, WC2N 4BG. Until Sep 3. £15+ dukeofyorkstheatre.co.uk Charing Cross

THE DEVIL’S DOUBLE

A WOMAN KILLED WITH KINDNESS

FILM

THEATRE

Dominic Cooper was once described as having the appearance of “a man who’s permanently looking for sex”. Here he plays two different roles, that of Saddam Hussein’s evil son Uday – notorious for his depraved lust – and Latif Yahia, desperate to escape his forced existence as Uday’s body double. At least Cooper won’t have to worry about being upstaged by a co-star.

Scurrying servants signify the contrasting fortunes of adulterous Anne (banished for her infidelity) and virtuous Susan (pimped by her debt-ridden brother) in a stylised interpretation that places more emphasis on movement than dialogue. The result is intriguing but sacrifices emotional involvement for artistic concept. LK

On General Release

Lyttelton at the National South Bank SE1 9PX. Until Sep 11. £12-£30. nationaltheatre.org.uk Waterloo

HAL CRUTTENDEN Tell us your favourite joke.

My favourite joke is David Cameron.

As comics go, who’s posher: you or Michael McIntyre?

It’s got to be McIntyre. He’s richer than me, he calls his wife ‘darling’ and he doesn’t apologise for being middle class; whereas I am deeply, deeply sorry for being a posh twat.

What’s your best comeback to hecklers?

People don’t usually heckle me.

They are so busy trying to breathe, control their bladders or remain conscious due to continuous laughing they have no time to think about heckling. On rare occasions when people have heckled me I usually make some brilliant offthe-cuff comment and immediately their body is convulsed with uncontrollable laughter until they lose consciousness and often die.

What would you take with you to a dessert island? An audience.

Finish the statement: at heart I’m just a frustrated … Riot policeman.

Camden Head, 100 Camden High St, NW1 0LU. Aug 18-21. £7.50. camdenhead.com Camden Town

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Less is more: Craig at Cowboys & Aliens premiere in the US 32

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More than words The star of yet another blockbuster, Daniel Craig is living proof that it’s the strong, silent types you need to watch out for WORDS PIERRE DE VILLIERS

Photos: Getty

Getting Daniel Craig to open up about his private life is virtually impossible. Even before the 43-year-old star enters the room, TNT is told in no uncertain terms that it is not to ask any personal questions today. So, Craig’s recent covert marriage to actress Rachel Weisz and the break-up with long-term girlfriend Satsuki Mitchell is straight off the table.

When the actor eventually emerges, dressing down in jeans and a blue shirt, he is affable, but predictably cagey.

“As far as I’m concerned, the less I have to say the better,” Craig says after easing into a chair to talk about his latest film Cowboys & Aliens, in which he plays a cowboy who’s the strong, silent type. “Is it just the case with this movie or in general terms? I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you.”

Ever since Craig was drafted to play James Bond in 2006, he has done everything in his power to stay out of the spotlight. The fact that he dated little-known film producer Satsuki Mitchell for six years meant the actor could largely remain below the radar.

Then news leaked out that he was seeing Oscar-winner Rachel Weisz, his co-star in upcoming horror film Dream House and tabloids started to smell blood in the water.

Increased interest became a feeding frenzy when it emerged that Craig and Weisz had secretly tied the knot in New York recently. The only comment Craig has made about the wedding popped up on contactmusic.com with the actor quoted as saying: “I did it secretly – I can’t tell you how I pulled it off. My private life is incredibly important to me.”

The fact Craig is a man of few words, makes his latest character in sci fi/western mash-up Cowboys & Aliens a

Ford and Craig in Cowboys & Aliens; right Rachel Weisz

very good fit. The star is superb as Jake Lonergan, a man who wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a strange contraption around his wrist. Suffering from amnesia, he heads into town where he is confronted by cattle baron Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford). The two men soon have much bigger problems on their hands when they are attacked by hostile aliens. For Craig, playing a cowboy was a dream come true.

“The Western part of the story really appealed to me, although I am a huge science fiction fan,” the actor says.

“I always wanted to play a cowboy, that’s really the bottom line. [To prepare] I watched Clint Eastwood and everything else. I watched a lot of John Wayne. I kind of stole everything I could but nothing specific.”

Another big drawcard for Craig was the opportunity to work with one of his idols; Ford.

“When I was nine I went to the cinema, and sat there on my own, because not many people went to the cinema that I went to,” he recalls with a smile. “I had no idea what was playing and Blade Runner came on. I thought then I want to work with that man Harrison Ford. And I did.”

Like Ford did in his younger days, Craig wanted to throw himself about on set, only to realise that, because of the genre, he was out of his depth when it came to doing stunts.

“It was just different,” he says. “I don’t get to ride many horses in Bond and that’s the main distinction. There is a lot more I couldn’t do in this because of the riding. Even though I am getting better at it, I’m no expert. A lot of what you see is my brilliant double and stuntmen. Funnily enough, I picked up more bruises at the studio when we got back to LA to do some filming. Everything seems to be made of fibreglass and that seems to scrape you worse than the real thing.”

Craig was keen to ensure his character’s actions spoke louder than words, with the actor actually cutting back some of Lonergan’s dialogue.

“Isn’t there a legend that Clint Eastwood only has 11 lines in a movie,” he says. “The character was initially more verbose but I don’t think he would talk about his feelings before he starts shooting. I was going through the script saying, ‘I don’t need to say that, that’s already been told’. The more the character talked about how he felt about things, the less real it seemed. He is a man of action as opposed to a man of words.”

Cowboys & Aliens out Aug 17 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

33

SPARETIME

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Nero: Welcome Reality

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From Dust PC game

Perform minor miracles to help your tribe survive the onslaught of nature. £12.99

CD

The London duo do drum’n’bass / dubstep laced with intriguing melodies. £8.93 amazon.co.uk

pcworlddownloads.co.uk

No More Heroes: Heroes’ Paradise

Jedward: Victory

PS3

Become the word’s greatest lightsabre-wielding assassin. £33.99 365games.co.uk

CD

The second LP from the X Factor stars. Cue tween hysteria countrywide. £7.99 Amazon.co.uk

GLMPS iPhone app

Capture the candid moments before the camera clicks.

Free itunes.apple.com

David Shukman: An Iceberg As Big As Manhattan Book

The BBC’s science and environment reporter reflects on his biggest stories. £4.49 waterstones.com

Tube Map (No 2) iPhone app

Get the most up-to-date info on London transport through Twitter streaming.

Free itunes.apple.com

Peter Robinson: Before The Poison Book

Moshi Moshi Retro Handset

A Hollywood composer unearths the mystery behind his wife’s death. £9.49 amazon.co.uk

iPad / smartphone handset

A groovier way to get on the blower. £24.99 currys.co.uk

Source Code DVD

Digital camera docking station

A US army helicopter pilot travels back in time to capture a lethal bomber. £10.00 amazon.co.uk

Gadget

This tilts and pans when connected to a TX1 or WX1 Cyber-shot camera and takes photos for you. Genius. £40.51 amazon.co.uk

Louis Theroux: The Odd, The Bad And The Godly DVD

A collection of revealing documentaries from the geeky filmmaker. £12.99 amazon.co.uk

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POP Beginner app

A step-by-step guide to mastering the world famous ‘dick tricks’ of genital origami stage show, Puppetry Of The Penis. £1.92 market.android.com

Photos: TNT

34

App of the Week

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Men’s T-shirt Not so daring, but the muted lines on this top can be rocked in the workplace and the bar.

Lacoste watch A little green and white worn on your wrist will ease you into the look if you are still stripe-shy.

Men’s belt Give a neutral outfit a kick with some bright and bold colour. Team with jeans and a white T-shirt to really show off your stripes.

asos.com

watchshop.com

matalan.com

£20.00

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Photos: ASOS; TNT

Retro lovers, listen up. London’s first vintage department store has opened its doors, selling men’s and women’s clothes from every era.

The emporium – in a huge Victorian warehouse off Brick Lane – will be chock-full of old-school Swatch watches, classic Levi’s, All Star Converse, designer dresses from the likes of Yohji Yamamoto and Vivienne Westwood, plus Scottish tweed jackets and Eighties power suits complete with shoulder pads.

The store has all you need for retroing up the rest of your life too, with upcycled furniture, bicycles, bric-a-brac, second-hand books, records and luggage neatly displayed throughout the store (yes, no rummaging).

And, after all that shopping you’ll be exhausted, so grab an Italian coffee, served from the vintage Fiat car bar, natch.

OPEN Daily blitzlondon.co.uk 55-59 Hanbury Street, E1 5JP TEL 020 7377 0730 Aldgate East Shoreditch High Street

Summer dress With cutesy icecream shades and a form-flattering shape, this dress is an all-round winner.

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Canvas flats Pair with rolled-up jeans or a simple skirt. deichmann.com

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Striped tote bag Perfect for that last-minute weekend getaway. surfdome.com

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Men’s hat Keep the summer vibe going in this nautical-inspired hat with regatta-style trim. Now all you need is a boat... tkmaxx.com

£5.

99

Multi-coloured scarf Keep cosy on chilly London nights with this scarf. accessorize.com

Bangle bracelet Wear your stripes on your sleeve, with pride. newlook.com

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35

LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

RAVE

WORKOUT I was promised a mind-blowing, heart-pumping rave experience and that’s exactly what I got. In fact, at some points during this fitness class, I swear I am dancing vigorously in a nightclub rather than burning calories in a gym.

Perched on a mini-trampoline and with glow sticks in hand, the lights are turned low and the fun begins.

For 45 minutes I bounce and airpunch my way into a heavy sweat, throwing all inhibition to the wind.

Booming techno music pulsates in the background (or is that my heart?) and my fellow ravers and I ape the instructor’s moves.

My core tightens as I perform squats on the bouncy trampoline, then learn a few boxing techniques.

Of course, jumping is integral to the choreography. Just like on a dancefloor, we have permission to freestyle, though I catch myself in an odd-looking position and resolve just to stick to what the instructor does. By the end, my legs and arms are burning: I had gotten my money’s worth. And unlike many torturous classes you find at a gym, this was actually enjoyable.

Any class where I can break out ‘The Robot’ will get me back for more. ALEX SLIWKOWSKI

Glance down. Are your tootsies crying out for attention? Then give them what they deserve WORDS REBECCA KENT

Like armpits, feet are a body part many people prefer to never see the light of day.

They are worn down by the weight of our daily activities and are prone to fungus, calluses and verrucas: bad feet symptoms even sound disgusting. But you can’t wrap your tootsies up in clobber forever. We’ve found some treatments that offer more than just a basic pedicure so you can put your best foot forward.

As I recline, hot stones are placed under my shoulders and on my abdomen, and my tootsies are lathered in heady concoctions of lemongrass, clove, ginger and cocoa butter.

They are kneaded in a bout of reflexology for what seems like a very blissful lifetime.

Finally, my legs and hips are rocked sideto-side, and my head and neck massaged.

Invigorated, I feel like I have the world at my feet. (lush.co.uk; £50)

The Spell, Lush

Acupuncture, Duncan McGechie

I’d done some serious damage to my feet (not to mention to the lawns at Ascot), stomping back and forth to the totes for a flutter in a pair of rapier-like stilettos. So, the thought of a 60-minute massage, dubbed ‘The Spell’ is magic to my tortured soles.

Oddly, first I am required to scribble down a worry on a scrap of parchment and pop it in a copper pot. My therapist torches it with a match, and with a ‘poof’, it was banished.

That’s psychology for you – I feel lighter on my feet already. Celtic melodies and birdsong pipe overhead, and candles flicker as my toes are immersed in warm water, tickled by the fizzing of a volcanic bath ballistic – a metaphor for the purging of any angst.

If you suffer from numb toes, constantly cold feet or pain from twisting your ankle, having a few sessions of acupuncture could be what you need.

An important element of Chinese medicine, it involves needling key points in the body to harmonise the flow of Qi, the body’s life force. The Chinese believe ailments arise when there are blockages in that flow. Most people seek acupuncture after they have exhausted all options of conventional medicine and it has been known to work a treat.

And, don’t worry, while it sounds painful, it’s just uncomfortable to begin with. (acupuncturebodywork.co.uk; £60ph)

gymbox.co.uk

Get nibbled by fish or have a massage 36

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Find your feet

Available at selected Gym Box gyms. £20.00

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LIFESTYLEBEAUTY

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Desperate times: don’t ditch the heels, get a massage

LOOKING GOOD

DermaHa vitamin oil for face It’s full of all the good stuff £35.00 skinsecrets.co.uk

Bespoke treatment, for men Leave your masculinity at the door, lads.

Here, weary, mangy feet get a fizzy electric foot bath, a vigorous peppermint exfoliation and, just to make sure there are no more crusty bits, a brisk pumice job.

After your nails are daubed with moisturiser, your talons get a tidy-up with a bewildering host of implements. The piece de resistance is a full foot coating of pipinghot paraffin wax.

You’ll leave feeling as though you’re walking on cotton wool. (gentlemenstonic.com; £48)

Radiant therapy, Thai Square Spa Masks are not just for your face, you know.

In this ritual, your tootsies are coated in a concoction of tumeric, vitamin C, honey and lemongrass designed to banish any impurities and tone your skin.

Then, cue the so-called Divine massage oil for a soothing rub-down of feet and legs.

Not only will this uplift your weary feet, but

BEST OF THE REST FISH TREATMENT

Sink your feet into darting shoals of garra rufa fish, which nibble away dead skin. (zoolafish.com; £10) REFLEXOLOGY

Sanex Zero% shower gel For a chemical-free wash £3.19 sanex.co.uk

Specific points in your feet are pressed and kneaded to remove blockages in the body’s energy flow. (reflex-shop.com; £31) THE WORKS

Not for the squeamish. Corns and callouses are exterminated, cuticles cut, ingrown toenails treated and feet scrubbed.

A splash of varnish tops off the look. (beauchampfootcare.com; £78) the aroma of orange and bergamot also promises to do untold wonders NEXT WEEK for your soul.

Top 5 weird and (thaisquarespar.com; £55 wonderful facials 1hr15mins)

E.L.F brightening eye colour Punk up your lids £1.50 eyeslipsface.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; Chris Renton 2010

£00.00

TOP TREATMENT: ROLFING

The name gives no indication of what I’m in for, but my ‘Rolfer’ explains this treatment focuses on the body’s muscles and tendons, fixing misalignments that are often the culprit behind everyday pains. He begins by sketching how I stand. I am then rubbed, stretched and moved about until areas of discomfort are loose and flexible. I have a new bounce in my step and a feeling that I’ll be reaching for my bottle of aspirin far less often. AS £85.00

Sorting the niggles

10 Kendrick Mews, SW7 3HG

evolvewellnesscentre.com

South Ken

Veet Easy Grip wax strips An easier way to de-fuzz £6.63 boots.com

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37

LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Fast-paced: working as a PR means paying close attention to the media

Career in a spin Have you got what it takes to sell a story? Or to build a brand? A job in PR can be an adrenaline rush, just don’t expect to work 9-5 WORDS ALISON GRINTER

Publicity can either make or break a company – so having an expert on board to deal with it is essential for most firms. As a PR, if the proverbial hits the fan, it’s your job to clean it up. And it’s also your responsibility to make sure the good stories spread. PRs are required to write press releases which are sent out to the media.

They need to be confident enough to call journalists and editors to pitch stories or ideas. And being a whiz when it come to networking is essential.

But you don’t have to be the next Alistair Campbell to get a job in spin.

You could be pushing the latest hair product or sportswear, or your remit could include a charity or brand.

Here, we speak to three experts about their experiences.

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“You’re selling a living, breathing person with ideas of their own – it’s not like selling a product.”

By her own admission, Kas Mercer had She advises music PR wannabes an unconventional entry into the world not to do a course but to immerse of PR. While performing in bands themselves in music and to secure in the late Eighties, she temped internships instead. “Be as helpful in a press office at a record label, as you can ... make yourself and found she had a knack for indispensable and they’ll probably the job. “I knew what I was give you a job.” doing because I did it for my own You also need to have bands anyway,” she says. a thick skin, as “you Mercer now heads up her are always on the own company, Mercenary receiving end PR (mercenarypublicity. of everyone’s com), in Maida Vale, with an complaints – from impressive roster including artists, labels, writers Metallica, Juliette Lewis and management”. and Fightstar.

Hours can be long, “Music PR is different Rock PR: Juliette Lewis especially if you’ve got clients from other PR,” she says.

Kas Mercer, Music PR

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB CHARLES

CHURCHMAN CAREER Product designer AGE 23 LIVES Kent FROM London

Photos: Getty; Thinkstock

Thriving: Anna Zachariassen

overseas. Mercer SALARY Junior press officers her a good grounding also claims it’s not as can expect to earn £25,000. Senior in core skills such glamorous as it used press officers can earn upwards of as writing press to be; with less money £40,000 and directors can gross releases, developing sloshing around the around £60,000 plus. PR salaries relationships with industry there are fewer can vary depending on the industry journalists and time opportunities and location. management. for schmoozing.

She says: “Things TRAINING For more creative But it’s also happened you couldn’t PR jobs, internships may prove “incredibly rewarding”, predict so you adopt more beneficial than a course. she says. “Twenty-three this mentality where The Chartered Institute of Public years down the line, you know how to Relations provides industryI still get a buzz from respond to any recognised PR qualifications at getting an artist into situation and know foundation, advanced certificate a publication that I’ve who to contact, be able and diploma level plus specialist been trying for years. to give good advice and short courses.

“Back in the day, I draft statements that LOCATION London is a PR got The Black Crowes put record straight.” mecca and pays the best salaries. into the NME after two years. At first they didn’t want to know Michael Hayman, Campaign PR but I just kept on and on and in the end they put them on the front cover.”

Seven Hills (wearesevenhills.com) is engaged in high-profile campaigns for company with an enterprising or Anna Zachariassen, Business PR entrenpreneurial outlook, such as Bob Geldof’s One Young World.

After finishing a degree in journalism, Michael Hayman, 41, co-founder and Anna Zachariassen decided to change director of the Putney-based firm, says: course and work in PR. “You’re involved in very time-specific Over 10 years, the 33-year-old, from initiatives which you either win or lose, Tooting, played a major role in three so the people we employ have to have government press offices – including a winning outlook. being on duty at the Home Office when “We have former fundraisers, former the 7/7 bombings happened. journalists – people from all walks of This year, Zachariassen carved out life.” Hayman adds it’s beneficial to a niche as the owner and director of have an optimistic outlook – “you’ve Thrive Media Services (thrivemedia. got to get out there and sell contracts, co.uk) specialising in PR for small sell stories and ideas” in order to businesses and start ups. highlight big causes.

Working in the public sector gave

How did you get into your line of work?

I did a degree in product design at University College of the Arts in Rochester. Then I worked for a lighting company for about a year and then I decided to set up a company on my own, making kitchenware inspired by the versatility of acrylic. It’s called Charles Churchman Design.

What do you do day-to-day?

I spend a lot of time with my sketchbook, coming up with product ideas, plus, I spend about two hours every day assembling products. I also research the buyers at big companies and set up appointments.

The best part of your job When a new idea comes to you and you frantically scrabble with the excitement to get it down on paper.

What’s the most challenging?

Apart from dealing with HMRC, it’s the marketing.

HOW TO...

CHOOSE A CAREER • Think about what you want

out of a job: are you looking for a 9-5? Do you want to earn big bucks or work in a creative field? Careers counselling can help you decide.

• Research the key facts

about jobs that interest you – what the job involves, what qualifications, are needed to get into them and how much they pay.

• Identify your skills.

• Come up with an action plan to bag your dream job.

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tntjobs.co.uk L LYNCH PLANT HIRE

JOB OF THE WEEK: Drivers, Operators, Fitters Urgently Required Location: London, the Home Counties & Midlands Salary: POA

T: 0845 4000 000 www.l-lynch.com

360, 180, Duck, Dumptruck, Forklift, Grab, Hiab, Low Loader.

Minimum 7 years experience. If you can recommend people for these roles and they complete a 3 month probation you will be eligible for a £200 reward! Call now.

0845 4000 000

IPG

JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £15,000 by Christmas!

T: 07716 376 408 IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).

Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night.

07716 376 408

GIFT FUNDRAISING

JOB OF THE WEEK: Charity Fundraisers: Immediate Start!

Location: London Salary: £8.50 p/h - £13.50 p/h

T: 020 7281 8908 www.giftjobs.com Gift is one of the UK’s most successful street fundraising companies, Ethical and non-corporate we raise £millions for worthwhile causes.

You should be hard working, enthusiastic, with a willingness to learn about & represent charities such as UNICEF, Amnesty and NSPCC. You should genuinely want to make a difference and be available for full-time work.

The Recruitment Team | 0207 281 8908 | recruit@gift-fundraising.com

Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY

JOBS

h s i l TeCaomcbhineEtranveg l & work

Perfect for readers looking to: ‹ Combine travel and work ‹ Teach during their gap year ‹ Have a career change ‹ Work part-time with flexible hours

} There are many job opportunities worldwide to teach English to children, teenagers or adults. } You could be in Eastern Europe, Italy, Spain, Costa Rica or Japan teaching English in a classroom, privately one-to-one, or even online.

DATE 20-21 Aug, 2011 TIME 9am - 6pm VENUE

* Teaching English as a Foreign Language

Language School

For further info or to book your place see:

Holland Park YHA Holland House, Holland Walk Kensington | W8 7QU

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CASH-SAVING TIPS PAY WHAT YOU LIKE Xxxxxxxxx If you want to experience the grandeur of theatre XXXXXXXXX but don’t have the cash Xxxxxxxxxxx to spare, go to the Arcola Theatre for its ‘Pay XXXXXXXXX What You Can’ nights.

Xxxxxxxxxxx On Tuesday evenings, a limited number of tickets XXXXXXXXX are available for however Xxxxxxxxxxx much – or little – you can afford. Get in line early XXXXXXXXX as these tickets cannot be Xxxxxxxxxxx bought in advance. See arcolatheatre.com.

Photos: TNT; Getty

MAKE WISE CHOICES Take a look at designmynight.com before your next night out. The new website allows you calculate the cost of drinks and food at hundreds of the city’s watering holes and music venues before even setting foot out the door. You can also make reservations on the site.

POPCORN AT THE READY Orange customers can download a film every Thursday for just 35p by texting FILMTOGO. The movies, which include The Wrestler and Che: Part 1, normally cost £4.49 and can be watched on PCs, laptops and iOS mobiles.

SAIL CROATIA /72 TRAVEL DEALS /62

LIFESTYLEMONEY

HOW YOU SPEND IT!

CLAIRE DOYLE, 27 JOB PhD student FROM Mill Hill LIVES Battersea How do you budget?

I transfer a set amount of my bursary into a savings

account each month and then live off the rest. I tend to use a credit card for food shopping and then monitor my cash spending when going out. I also try to avoid clothes shopping ... for months at a time.

What are your top money-saving tips?

Shop for food at Asda. It’s always really cheap. I buy own-brand products and hit the reduced section for bargains I can keep in the freezer. Also, walk or take the bus rather than the Tube, and keep your eyes peeled for two-for-one offers for eating out, the cinema, etc.

Last big blow-out?

I hit the summer sales for one day a couple of months ago. Ouch.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Mostly beer!

HOW THEY SPEND IT! History comes at a price The Berlin Wall (left) is being rebuilt as a tourist attraction with slabs of the original Cold War symbol bought for £1000. That’s a bargain when compared to these relics ...

❚ A gold-tipped cane made from the spear that killed explorer Captain James Cook in 1779 fetched £135,000 in a 2003 auction. ❚ A grim assortment of surgeon’s tools used by British Lt James Henry Reynolds, VC, the brigade surgeon in the bloody 1879 Rorke’s Drift conflict against 14,000 Zulus, was sold at auction for £41,400 in 2001.

❚ The personal white jade seal of the Chinese emperor Qianlong (1736-95) sold for £10.89m last year. The 1.5-inch seal, with dragons carved on top, remains the most expensive ever sold. ❚ A 2000-year-old Roman marble urn sold for a staggering £445,000 this year. Its owner, retired school teacher, John Barratt, had used it as a lampshade.

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

STYLE . £19

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Vintage bottle top wall clock It’s always beer o’clock … dotcomgiftshop.com

00 £7.

Pimp your balcony

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Revamping a small space: (l-r) Clare’s balcony; Nadia’s terrace

Create your own sanctuary in the city with our guide to making the most of your outdoor space WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Scotty dog salt and pepper set A solution for flats that don’t allow pets oliverbonas.com

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£7.

A month ago, my balcony was a no-go zone – my housemates and I hadn’t been out there for so long, pigeons had made it their home. Desperate to enjoy any precious glimmers of sunshine the British summer gives us, we set about reclaiming it. Now, a lot of shouting, arm waving, pigeon deterrents and an evening of bird later, we spend our evenings alfresco – eating dinner and drinking wine on our sparkling new balcony. And the best bit is, we did it on less than £150.

paraphernalia from good garden centres or buy from gardencentre.co.uk.

And when you’ve got rid of the nature you don’t want, bring some that you do want in. For flowers, plants, herbs and pots pick up bargains at markets – like the one that happens every Sunday in Columbia Road, Shoreditch.

Sara Jane Rothwell, an expert in city gardens who runs London Garden Designer,

Deciding on a look

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£12

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We went for a kitschy country decor (pictured right and above left) and bought everything with that style in mind, going for a bright blue table and a lemon and lime barbecue bucket teamed with terracotta and beige plant pots.

Nadia Smith, 26, a manager at Barclays from Clapham, took inspiration for her terrace (pictured, top right) from the sleek gardens she saw while in California.

Choosing a style is crucial – it pulls everything together to make the space look like an extra room in your house or flat.

Tackling nature

Bonjour rug Welcome your guests French-style. Ooh la la! urbanoutfitters.co.uk

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Pesky pigeons are a big problem in London.

I found a vibrating line called Growing Success Bird Repellent (£6.49), which makes a noise birds don’t like but humans can’t hear, and haven’t seen or heard a flap from them since. Get all your creature-scaring

says: “Drought-tolerant plants are key because everything dries up twice as fast on a roof terrace – plant the more Mediterranean plants like lavenders and grasses. Tree-wise I’d say olive or silver birch trees are pretty good.”

Decorating B&Q and Homebase are great for buying paints for sprucing up outdoor walls.

What you do will also depend on your view.

“Quite often roof terraces tend to be near railways. That’s something you need to

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LIFESTYLELIVING TOP TIPS NADIA

SMITH Manager, 26

Clapham “My tip for anyone wishing to make big changes to their balcony is to take your time and do it in steps because you’ll probably change your mind as you go.”

RHIANNON BURY Reporter, 23

Highbury “For us it was about creating a place to hang out after work. I hit Columbia Road Flower Market for flowers and herbs – it’s cheaper than going to a garden centre.”

consider. I often use bamboo plants, for two reasons: because of the screening effect visually and it makes quite a nice rustling sound in the wind,” Rothwell says.

Nadia Smith picked up the faux grass for her roof terrace at Lazylawn.co.uk. Prices start from £15.50 per square metre.

FELICITY JACKSON

Advertising, 24

Chalk Farm

Getting furniture What’s summer without a barbie? It’s boring.

So get a portable barbecue that won’t take up too much precious outdoor space.

Amazon.co.uk sells some cheap BBQ buckets like the lemon and lime print one (pictured left) for £24.99.

The summer sales are on now, so try department stores such as Marks & Spencer (marksandspencer.com) or Argos (argos. co.uk) for some good deals. I found the blue table and chair set (pictured) for £57.25 from the Debenhams sale (debenhams.com).

Photos: TNT

Final touches No outdoor city space is complete without fairy lights. Get a multi-coloured butterfly style from Amazon.co.uk; a solar-powered panel for £4.49; or splash out on some solar-powered white net lights, £17.99, to drape over a bush or fix on a wall. Dunelm Mill (dunelmNEXT WEEK mill.com) sell some dirt-cheap Spotlight on candles, cushions Vauxhall and lanterns.

“The final touches to the balcony I shared with three boys were a small terracotta Buddha head and a Chinese-style lantern, to add an element of the exotic.”

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WHERE TO SHOP FLOWERS & PLANTS

Columbia Road Flower Market, E2 7RG GARDEN POTS

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Amazon.co.uk GARDEN FURNITURE

Argos.co.uk BARBECUES

Amazon.co.uk FINISHING TOUCHES

Dunelm-mill.com Cargohomeshop.com Debenhams.com

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43

WORLDVIEW

‘OMG, look at her frenulum’

THE KOREAN TONGUE

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Belt up: Electric guys aren’t for cardigan-wearing hippies who just want to pop down to the nearest Wholefoods market to pick up a chickpea and tofu salad for lunch. To prove it, father-and-son team Don and Joe Wales (pictured), from a long line of racers, are attempting to set a land-speed record in an electric car

UNITED KINGDOM

An English teenager was so desperate to improve her Korean that she has had her tongue surgically lengthened to help her produce certain sounds.

Rhiannon Brooksbank–Jones, 19, of Nottingham, plans to take Korean Studies at university but her shorter than average tongue prevented perfect pronunciation.

Her parents agreed to her having a lingual frenectomy, a 15–minute operation under local anaesthetic that involved an incision in the flap of skin on the underside of the tongue. Rhiannon admitted that it was “agony at first” but her tongue is now about 1cm longer.

“The surgical procedure was my only option,” she said. “My pronunciation was very ‘foreign’, but now I can speak with a native Korean accent.”

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

@JohnPrescott Social media is a powerful force for good. We need an inquiry into riot causes not a knee-jerk ban to please the Daily Mail. @jennajmeson Ordering a salad at McDonald’s is like paying a prostitute for a hug. @jimmycarr BBC News headline “Philippines Acts on MILF Fighting”.

Sadly the story is not as awesome as it sounds.

MOBILE ESKY CHASED AUSTRALIA

A Noosa man appeared in court last week on drink-driving charges after police busted him cruising along the main road aboard a motorised Esky.

Police intercepted Christopher Petrie, 23, driving his Esky, which was equipped with a 50cc two-stroke engine, travelling along Noosa Parade in June. They allege 44

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Petrie was driving under the influence and without a licence. Lawyers acting for Petrie appealed to magistrate John Parker for an adjournment while their client “established whether a motorised Esky was in fact a motor vehicle”.

Parker, who appeared amused by the charges against Petrie, inquired about the Esky’s performance and abilities.

“How much beer can it hold?” he asked with a smirk. Petrie told the court the Esky could hold “at least a couple of cartons.”

STILL IN THE CLOSET

UNITED STATES

Producers of Sesame Street have denied that Bert and Ernie are gay. More than

5700 people have signed an online petition at change.org insisting the puppets, pictured, who sleep in the same room and whose sexuality has long been debated, be allowed to wed.

“We are not asking that Sesame Street do anything crude or disrespectful,” the petition reads. “It can be done in a tasteful way. Let us teach tolerance of those that are different.” But the Sesame Workshop indicated there would be no wedding bells.

“Bert and Ernie are best friends,” the Workshop said. “Even though they are identified as male characters, they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 20M ‘First you get the money, then you get the power…’

STAR WARS COINS NEW ZEALAND

The New Zealand Mint has been commissioned to manufacture coins bearing Star Wars characters, to be used legally in Niue, a tiny island nation in Polynesia.

A set of 40 coins is being produced and as legal tender, the coins will have a face value of NZ$2 (£1), but the silver content in each is worth considerably more.

The coins are aimed at collectors and investors around the world, and the government of Niue hopes they will help fill their coffers.

“You wouldn’t want to go and spend them because they’re only worth $2, but the value is much more than that,” said Chris Kirkness of the New Zealand Mint.

“No one is going to go buy an icecream with them.

“Traditionally, who would buy these would be coin collectors, but this product opens up the market as a gift product and for enthusiasts of Star Wars.”

SWEET SHOP STING

Photos: Getty

UNITED KINGDOM

A court has heard how the owners of a sweet shop laid booby traps and hid in the store all night dressed head-to-toe in black to catch a thief.

Jane and Neil Hutton covered the windows with bin liners to cut out all light as they waited to snare the culprit, who had been pilfering from their till.

Mr Hutton said: “At every stage there were little traps, things that would tell us exactly where he was and what he was doing.

“First the Victorian shop bell rang as someone came in and then there was the sound of the Windowlene bottle being knocked over by the first till.

“Next he tripped over the cans of

US dollars won on scratchies by Joan Ginther, who has had four winning tickets over the course of 12 years

Years Alfred Zoppelt was employed as a museum attendant in Austria before he was fired for washing with urine

3285

Height, in feet, of the Kingdom Tower, which will be the world’s tallest building once it is completed in Saudi Arabia

Litres of biodiesel produced by a farming cooperative in France last year, all using duck fat as their secret ingredient

‘Yeah, definitely not a boy’ cream soda placed to distract him as he approached our hiding place.”

When Longstaff then crept out of the storeroom of the shop the Huttons rushed him and locked the door until police arrived to arrest him.

MYSTERY BIRTH UNITED KINDGOM

Two female stingrays have given birth to seven baby stingrays at the London Aquarium despite no male contact in two years.

Staff at the Sea Life aquarium noticed the two females looking bloated – and were surprised to find both were pregnant.

Paul Hale, head curator at the aquarium, said the staff were very surprised: “Rays have been known to store sperm and not give birth until they decide the timing is right, but it’s not something I’ve seen before in my eight years at the aquarium.

“The staff surprised to find both expecting, considering there have been no males in their display for so long.”

23

20,000

QUOTE OF THE WEEK She would have been thrown out within 10 seconds. Even if she had walked in with a lobster on her head, it would’ve been one of the kooky auditions Simon Cowell reckons Lady Gaga wouldn’t have cut it on The X Factor

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: REBECCA KENT rebecca.kent@tntmagazine.com

Free reign: we could have done more

Why did we let them destroy our streets?

Photos: Getty

Maybe we need a pep talk from the boys of the Blitz More than 70 years ago, German air raids turned London into an inferno. But as the ash settled after one of the most harrowing nights during World War II, St Paul’s Cathedral stood proud, saved by a resolute band of ordinary people.

Where was that defiant Blitz spirit when rioters took a wrecking ball to London last week? We saw pockets of it – the defiant single mother from Wolverhampton who told a mob to back off so she could open her hair salon for business. Then there was the shop owner in Croydon who, with the help of a group of locals, fended off a pack of looters.

And, in Dalston and Hackney, Turkish shopkeepers and their families fought back against the looting youths, spending the night standing shoulder-to-shoulder to deter further attacks. They were hailed as being the force that saved the area from wanton destruction.

We value our communities. That much is clear from the astonishing wave of generosity that has emerged during the clean-up. But how much did we value our neighbourhoods when the rioting was kicking off? It was obvious from the start the police were woefully impotent, so why didn’t we come pouring out of our homes and our businesses, not to watch agog at the chaos as it unfolded before our eyes, but to stand together, to get behind the boys in blue and fight down the arrogant hoodlums? We would have outnumbered the rioters – and the police. Had we united, we may not be reading stories such as the death of Ealing man Richard Mannington Bowes, who was brutally attacked trying to extinguish a fire.

I’m not advocating vigilantism or the ‘community protection’ demonstrated by the hideous yobs who claim to be members of the English Defence League – they battled with police when it was the last thing they needed. I’m talking about solidarity.

While we are demanding answers as to how this mayhem was allowed to take place, and how to put the impressionable goons responsible on a path of morality and respect, we should also ask ourselves how we allowed it to happen. Where was our Blitz spirit? » Agree or disagree? Should we have done more to stop the riots? letters@tntmagazine.com

JUST LET WINNERS BE GRINNERS Joan Ginther, a woman from a dusty border town in Texas, is being subject to something of a Spanish Inquisition because, over 18 years, she has beaten great odds to win the jackpots on four scratchcards, amassing nearly £13m.

She was born under a lucky star, some say, while others dispute luck has anything to do with. She’s a statistician, you see, and can probably calculate where and when a winning ticket will be sold.

I say, if she’s got the time and patience to rub silver panels off cardboard all day long, then good luck to her. People have all

“

My jammy sister won constantly

”

sorts of rituals when it comes to winning.

In her student days, my jammy sister won tickets and flights through radio competitions constantly. But she also sat by the phone like it was her second job. I divine my lottery numbers from the patterns in my coffee froth every morning – but then, I’ve never won. I guess I need more time on my hands.

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Look Back In Anger Civil unrest is nothing new in London. But how can last week’s riots be best understood?

WORDS TOM STURROCK

More than 30 years ago, The Clash depicted the capital as a warzone, as a city fraying at the seams, in their anthemic London Calling. “London calling to the faraway towns,” Joe Strummer declared in the song’s opening bars, “Now war is declared and battle come down.” Strummer’s faithless view of London – one that now finds its echo in a new century, among a new generation – underscores the fact that civil unrest and problems of social cohesion are nothing new in the city. Indeed, London has always been ‘hot’, the friction between the powerful and the powerless prone to flare up in unexpected ways.

To understand the events of last week, when groups of marauding youths defied police to carry out widespread looting – Tottenham in the north; Ealing in the west; Hackney in the east; Clapham in the south – some commentators have referenced the riots that occurred in Brixton and Broadwater Farm in 1985, when black communities bucked against police intimidation.

But, according to Clive Bloom, author of Violent London: 2000 Years Of Riots, Rebels And Revolts, any analogy between bygone race riots and the events of last week is spurious. “There are two types of riots,” Bloom says. “The first is when people feel they can’t get justice – they see the system as corrupt and they riot to demonstrate against it.

The other type is what we’ve seen in London and in other cities around the UK. “These recent riots have been started by young men who are very poor, who have no place, no property, no allegiance but to their gangs. They see things they want but can’t afford. Instead of buying them, they take them.”

Bloom claims the most instructive forerunners to last week’s riots took place long before 1985 and long before Strummer began cataloguing society’s ills.

“You have to go further back, to the 18th century, to that era of intense economic deprivation,” he says. “Back then, 48

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in the 1700s, people were either very rich or very poor and if you fell off that ledge you just vanished. Out in those areas of Spitalfields, the East End, Holborn and Covent Garden – they were very impoverished.

“You’d have vast groups of unattached young men who would go on rampages through the streets and they’d escalate quite quickly. They’d explode just like they have now. The men would be loaded up with drink and they’d go marching down the road with their cudgels, setting fire to buildings and beating people up. It was essentially about taking out their frustrations, about not having what everyone else had.”

“

They see things they want but can’t afford

”

In the wake of the riots, which spread to other cities around the UK, including Manchester and Birmingham, the search for an explanation has begun in earnest.

Perhaps predictably, opinion has divided sharply into two camps. Some condemn the rioting as straightforward criminal opportunism, as thugs taking advantage of a breakdown in law and order to loot, intimidate and steal. On the other hand, many commentators have pointed to the neglect of London’s urban communities, where impoverished conditions have incubated a generation with no stake in society and little hope for the future.

“These areas that are deprived – in Tottenham, Hackney, parts of Islington – have been kept deprived. They’ve never been fed the housing and the infrastructure that everyone else got,” Bloom says. “There is this underclass who feel they

Photos: Getty

Clockwise: a building burns in Croydon; police struggle to contain the riots in Hackney; youths loot a Carhartt store

don’t belong, who don’t care about the rest of society, and that comes as a real shock to people.”

But Bloom’s acknowledgement of the socio-economic factors at work does not implicitly shift the burden of responsibility from the looters on to society in general; the context of poverty, as grinding and unavoidable as it may be, does not transform smash-and-grab into legitimate protest.

“The people doing it have no agenda. They’re just having a good time – it’s a rush of adrenalin,” Bloom says. “I think the excitement factor is very important in this. They’re young men – to go into a shop and take the trainers they can’t afford, knowing that no one can stop them, must make them feel powerful. And power is what they don’t have.”

Even if the teenage looters bear ultimate responsibility for their actions – and, rightly, hundreds of them will be held criminally liable – the events of the past week have illuminated failures elsewhere: the failure of law and order to anticipate and prevent the riots; the failure of parents and wider communities to engage their young and keep them on the straight-and-narrow; the failure of government to prevent swathes of urban London toppling into the abyss.

“I think there’s a certain breakdown in society, where these kids now turn to their peers for approval rather than to their elders. I don’t think it’s race-relations that are the problem as much as age-relations, and that won’t be solved for a very long time,” Bloom says.

“The social structures have imploded and they’ve imploded all over the rest of us. That’s always been the case in London – the very rich live right next to the very poor. London has always been ghettoised like that and one community just ignores the other.

“What should happen – they need to pump resources and infrastructure into these areas. They won’t do it; you can read the script already. But unless they break up these gangs, and they thought they did it 30 years ago, nothing changes.”

An arrest at Broadwater Farm

THE RACE RIOTS OF 1985 BRIXTON AND ‘THE FARM’ In 1985, the riots that erupted in Brixton and on Broadwater Farm, a Tottenham housing estate, were fuelled by the belief among London’s urban black communities that the police were institutionally racist.

Brixton had been the site of a riot four years earlier and tensions again boiled over when, during a raid on a house where police believed a fugitive was hiding, a woman was left paralysed after being shot by an officer. Protesters demanded disciplinary action against the police involved and demonstrations escalated into street battles that lasted about 48 hours.

A week later, on Broadwater Farm, a woman died of a stroke during a police search of her home, sparking widespread looting and violent clashes between residents and officers. The riots culminated in the murder of PC Keith Blakelock, who was attacked by a mob wielding machetes. No one was ever convicted.

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SPORTNEWS

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On target: Tim Cahill

CAHILL EYES RECORD FOOTBALL

Tim Cahill is closing in on the national team goal-scoring record after scoring in the Socceroos’ impressive win over Wales last week.

In his first match for Australia since January’s Asian Cup final, Cahill scored his 24th goal in 52 appearances as the Socceroos outclassed Wales 2-1 in Cardiff.

Cahill moved within five strikes of matching Damian Mori’s (29) record and was confident he would break the record if the team continued its upward curve.

The scoreline did not reflect the dominance of the Socceroos’s defence, which blanketed the Welsh attack.

“I am making runs knowing the ball is coming in and having wingers and fullbacks that overlap, it is a dream come true,” Cahill said. “For the national team, it is always great to score goals and I am close to Damian Mori’s record and want to make sure that I beat it.”

WILLIAMS TO NSW?

Sealed with a win: Darren Lockyer became the game’s most capped first grade player in 103 years, eclipsing Terry Lamb and Steve Menzies when he ran out for the 350th time on Friday night. Lockyer’s Brisbane Broncos honoured the occasion by beating the North Queensland Cowboys 34-16.

RUGBY UNION

Sonny Bill Williams has been linked to a move to the NSW Waratahs but the New Zealand Rugby Union insists it is not getting the runaround.

Despite revelations Williams has not yet signed an NZRU contract. General manager of professional rugby Neil Sorensen maintains the NZRU is relaxed about the All Blacks midfielder still being a free agent.

Williams has recently said he remains committed to the NZRU beyond this year, but he could walk away after the New Zealand after the World Cup because no deal has been inked. Williams and his agent, Khoder Nasser, appear to have offered no more than a handshake.

“We are certainly not fretting, put it that way,” Sorensen said. “We are still waiting for him to decide which franchise he will play for and we are confident he will stay in New Zealand.”

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BLOWOUTS NO DRAMA AUSTRALIAN RULES

AFL boss Andrew Demetriou has slammed the widespread concern over on-field blowout results as “hysteria”.

“I just think they are a very rare occurrence,” he said, despite some 38 games this season decided by more than 10 goals, compared with 30 for all of last season. “We always knew that the Gold Coast would have a couple of largish results.

“But I think there are underlying reasons for each result that has happened, particularly when you consider the might of Collingwood, who are a fantastic team, and Geelong. We have seen two very, very fine football teams and I think that is cyclical. I don’t think it’s one that requires a crisis meeting and hysteria.”

BIG WEEK FOR ...

Michael Clarke hasn’t enjoyed the easiest ascension to the Australian captaincy. Many remain unconvinced about his suitability for the top job – whether he’s made of ‘the right stuff’ – and he takes the reins with the Australian side at its lowest ebb for more than 20 years. Put simply, he needs a win to generate some positive momentum and his side will have that opportunity this week when their five-match ODI series against Sri Lanka continues on Tuesday, before the fourth match on Saturday.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Hey Mylesy! Mate ... now that you’re out of the leadership group ... meet me at Northies sports bar for a few quiet ones this arvo?

Former Eels winger Eric Grothe tweets after Sydney Roosters’ star Nat Myles’s latest booze-related indiscretion

More tears for Arsenal?

PREVIEW Moment of truth for the Gunners ARSENAL V UDINESE TUESDAY 7.30PM, SKY SPORTS 2

ARSENAL V LIVERPOOL

SATURDAY NOON, SKY SPORTS 2 The vultures are circling Arsenal. A couple of bad results against Udinese and Liverpool could see them move in for the kill.

It’s been more than a decade since Arsenal failed to reach the group stage of the Champions League but, after finishing fourth in the Premier League last season, they must get past Italian club Udinese over two legs, beginning on Tuesday at the Emirates. The Gunners desperately need

a win to dispel the sense that theirs is a sinking ship. After all, failure to qualify for the group stage of the Champions League could accelerate any fomenting player exodus and make life increasingly difficult for Arsene Wenger.

Then, on Saturday, Arsenal face Liverpool in a match that may provide the season’s first insight into the league’s pecking order and whether Arsenal’s spot in the top four is under threat. Liverpool, for their part, have been busy expanding their roster over the off-season and will be hoping their strikeforce of Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez reaps rewards.

THE CHAT | Jostling to replace Capello

Is it more embarrassing running off the court like a maniac or throwing up on court and being on SportsCenter for the next 25 years?

German tennis player Andrea Petkovic dashed off court for a quick chunder during a tournament in San Diego

Do you get any delight out of it? No ... we’re entertainers not masochists Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse plays a straight bat after a series of one-sided matches against battling opponents

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

CRICKET will replace Fabio Capello as England Q Who manager after next year’s European Championships? promises to be the question shadowing the English A Itfootball team for the next 12 months. The early favourite for the position is Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp, but Roy Hodgson, who is now in charge of West Bromwich Albion after a troubled stint at Liverpool, last week indicated he would be keen on the position. There is a widespread perception that the FA would prefer an Englishman – certainly, Capello’s halting English has not made his job any easier – but the real question for someone like Harry Redknapp is whether he would want a job where expectations so outstrip the quality of the cattle.

Sri Lanka v Australia The fourth of five ODIs Saturday 10am, British Eurosport 2

AUSTRALIAN RULES Carlton v Hawthorn Could decide a spot in the top four Saturday 10.30am, ESPN

RUGBY UNION South Africa v New Zealand Go on then, ‘Arry

Can the Boks cause an upset?

Saturday 3.30pm, Sky Sports 4

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY Jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

“I slipped Wayne, I swear …”

Reality bites: we need less English Premier League Too much of the beautiful game can start to get ugly

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TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Steve Williams, the man formerly known as Tiger Woods’s caddie, shouldn’t be condemned for his digs against his former boss. In fact, he should be encouraged.

Williams claimed his first ‘win’ under his latest master, Aussie Adam Scott, was the “most satisfying” he’s ever had – this despite having a front row seat to the wins of Woods – one of game’s greats.

Not since John Daly, who was so pissed most of the time he eventually had a drink named after him, have we had such an outspoken man about the green. Sure, Tiger had a sex obsession but he never

“

Williams should be encouraged

”

talked about it. Not that he ever talks about anything really – he just sits there and sulks about being caught with his pants down.

So, here’s to Stevie continuing to tell it like it is – providing entertaining copy that will hopefully, now and again, keep the EPL off the back pages.

Photos: Getty

I’m getting Sky reinstalled at home. The girlfriend wants it. “Yeah, alright,” I agreed, secretly sickened at the thought of her and her friends sitting around watching marathon sessions of The Hills or whatever perverted reality programme is the flavour of the day. However, my benevolence came at a price: the sports channel. Non-stop Rugby World Cup come September and October.

Cornflakes and an oval ball each morning – the breakfast of champions.

Imagine my surprise, nay, distaste when I found out every game of the tournament is being broadcast free on ITV. I immediately phoned Sky and cancelled the sports subscription. You see, if I’m at home on a Saturday with Sky I’ll watch whatever English Premier League game is on and, like an anorexic who’s just had a decent meal, I’ll hate myself afterwards. It’s not that I don’t like football. I love playing it. I’ll tune into Match Of The Day, I’ll pop into the pub for clashes between the big four and I laaaaarv the final stages of Champions League. But there’s just too much EPL in this country.

If you look up the phrase ‘total overkill’ in the Book Of Modern Day Expressions – the one I’m currently writing (due out 2029) – you’ll find it offers this example: “The glut of EPL media coverage, on TV, in magazines and in every fucken newspaper in England.”

I’m long over the microanalysis of everything every football player in this country does on and off the field for 380 matches over 38 weeks. The summer months were a blessing for me; I could read a sports section without eight pages of what did happen, what should have happened, what some twit thinks will happen next week and whether or not some dick refused to shake some other dick’s hand because the second dick slipped and put his actual dick where the first dick usually puts his.

So this winter, I’ll chill on the couch watching The Only Way Is Essex or some similar brainrot instead, happy it’ll all be over in a hour and I won’t have to be subjected to countless replays of its overpaid morons for the next week. I find those shows can be quite entertaining – although the girlfriend usually ruins it by moaning about the sound being down.

KIWI STEVE: MORE THAN A BAG CARRIER

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Pedal power Olympic BMX racing hits London this week. Prepare for a highenergy event WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY

If there’s one thing the Olympics is hardwired to do, it’s to move with the times. The additions of table tennis, beach volleyball and rugby (in 2016) are sure-fire crowd pleasers – modern, visually exciting events even non-sporting fans will tune in to. Add BMX racing to that list. The newest of the Olympic disciplines was introduced to the Games for Beijing 2008, where it entranced crowds who quickly recognised exponents require the explosive legs of a sprinter, the strength and flexibility of a gymnast and the steel nerves of a daredevil.

This weekend, London gets an indication of what’s to come from the BMX riders in 2012, as this rare breed of athletes showcases its skills at an Olympic test event, which also doubles as the UCI Supercross World Cup. For New Zealand’s Mark Willers, the BMX world number one and 2011’s form rider, the thrill of competing in the Games is a challenge he is ready to meet full on. The thrillseeker is relishing hitting Stratford’s purpose-built track on Saturday to get an early taste of what he will have to do to finish first at the largest sporting event on Earth.

“Gold next year would obviously mean the world to me,” he says. “A lot can change in 12 months, but certainly having a win this weekend on the résumé helps with the mindset.

No doubt the London track will have a long first straight, so, for sure, I’m going there with only one goal in mind.”

It’s on the first straight that Willers likes to gain his advantage, getting out of the blocks and into a dominant position early, so he has to rely only on himself – and not on the misfortunes of others – to win.

“I’ve always had a fear of getting cut off down that first hill,” he says. “So I do absolutely everything I can to make sure I’m in front by the time I get to the bottom of it.”

The Southern Californian-based athlete also credits his mental strength with helping him to reach the top of his sport and stay there. In 2009, a horrific shoulder injury 54

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threatened to curtail his career, but he was determined to rehabilitate. The reward was the number-one ranking the following year.

But Willers realises his desire can lead him to overtrain.

As such, he strives to balance his love for flying round the track with staying in optimum shape and building his energy reserves for the big days. “At the moment I’m training roughly roughly 20 hours a week,“ he says. “But being a sprint-focused sport, a lot of down-time and recovery is required. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the best athletes in the world when it comes to couch-time.”

Willers’s most recent chance to taste victory came at the end of last month in Copenhagen, when he led all the way in the World Championship race, only to over-jump on the second straight and throw away a certain victory. It speaks volumes about the 25-year-old that he’s not prepared to ‘chalk it up to experience’ or just shrug it off. Instead, he finds failure unpalatable.

“It was certainly a major disappointment,” he says. “I left Copenhagen with an extremely bad taste in my mouth.

I went there with one goal in mind, and to make one mistake and throw it away was absolutely gut-wrenching.

“In the next 12 months, in the lead-up to the Games, I just want to keep growing as an athlete and making sure I’m in total control of the results I get. I don’t want to leave anything to chance. I want to win.”

Among Willers’s greatest rivals is Australian Sam Willoughby. The Antipodean pair, along with current Olympic champion Maris Stombergs (Latvia), and Joris Daudet (France), form a quartet who share around the podium finishes at almost every race on the world circuit.

San Diego-based Willoughby, though, is not prepared to share the top spot next July. “To wear that gold medal would mean more to me that winning the World Championships – absolutely. You only get one shot at it every four years,”

Photos: Getty, Sander Nieuwenhuys

Kiwi Marc Willers (centre) loves winning but Sam Willoughby, top right, will be hot on his tail in London, bottom right

the 19-year-old says. “To win gold would totally change my life and that’s what I am shooting for.”

He views the upcoming test event in London as a chance to bring the sport he loves to even more people, introducing a fresh audience to a pursuit that’s becoming more recognised each year. “This is the perfect chance to demonstrate what the world is going to see us doing at the Olympics,” he says. “And I believe I can win it – that’s what we all go there to do. It would be a confidence booster for next year to be successful on that track, but just riding on it will be a good experience.”

As BMX fits snugly into the extreme sports category, the pitfalls of the party lifestyle accompanying a travelling circus of adrenaline-charged young men who operate at high skill are always present for both Willoughby and Willers. The Australian, though, says that’s where focus and desire come to the fore.

“It always looks glorious from the outside but there can be a lot of stress that goes with travelling and having such a competitive lifestyle,” he says. “Unfortunately, you can’t be too much of a party animal or else you will be off the back on race day.”

Willers agrees: “You have to enjoy what you do in life and, for sure, I love every minute of it. But the sport is slowly changing as far as the rockstar aspect of it goes,” he says.

“Yeah, it’s still BMX, but it’s an Olympic sport just like all the other ones you’ll see in London next year. And that means it requires 100 per cent dedication to being an athlete if you want to be consistently on the podium – and get the gold next year.”

BMX Olympic test event (also doubles as the 2011 UCI Supercross World Cup). Olympic Park. August 19-20.

Stratford, E20 2ST london2012.com Stratford

The air up there: BMX is a crowd-pleaser

ON TRACK FOR SUCCESS KNOW YOUR BMX RACING The BMX races at London 2012 will be held on a short outdoor track, with the riders starting on an eightmetre-high ramp. The course is built up with jumps, bumps and tightly banked corners. Following individual time- trial seeding rounds, eight riders compete in heats, with each race lasting about 40 seconds.

BMX bikes have only one gear and one brake. Most racing riders use wheels that are 20 inches in diameter, roughly two-thirds the size of wheels used on a standard road bike. Bikes need to be strong enough to endure the wear and tear from the jarring landings after jumps, yet light enough to remain fast and competitive.

The men’s and women’s events at London 2012 will both start with a seeding phase: each rider runs the track once to determine the seedings, which ensures that the fastest riders don’t meet before the final. A series of knock-out rounds will decide the winners.

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h s i l g n E h c TeCaombine travel & work

Language School

e s r u o C L F E T e iv s n e t In d n e k Wee Perfect for readers looking to: ‹ Combine travel and work ‹ Teach during their gap year ‹ Have a career change ‹ Work part-time with flexible hours

} There are many job opportunities worldwide to teach English to children, teenagers or adults.

} You could be in Eastern Europe, Italy, Spain, Costa Rica or Japan teaching English in a classroom, privately one-to-one, or even online.

DATE 20-21 Aug, 2011 TIME 9am - 6pm VENUE Holland Park YHA Holland House, Holland Walk Kensington | W8 7QU High St Kensington or Holland Park

* Teaching English as a Foreign Language

For further info or to book your place see:

Courses conducted by International TEFL Training

tntmagazine.com/tefl

ONLY

£150

(normally £200)

TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | HOLIDAY SNAPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP FISHY TALES

IMAGE OF THE WEEK

Telescope-eyed goldfish swim in a tank as part of the Art Aquarium exhibition in Tokyo

Photos: Getty, TNT, TUI Travel

INSIDE

ON THE ROCKS /60

SAIL AWAY/70

THE THAI LIFE /76

Off Ireland’s west coast, discover an alluring ancient island with more walls than you’ll have ever seen before

Find your sea legs and learn how to helm a yacht – language barrier permitting – off Croatia’s sun-kissed Dalmatian coast

Forget bumming around on golden beaches.

Head inland, off the beaten track, and give back to the community while you’re there TNTMAGAZINE.COM

57

TRAVELDIARY Janine Kelso

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Beats the London rush hour: Regata Storica

NOTE FROM TRAVEL EDITOR

ARE GAP YEARS A WASTE OF TIME? Gap years are suffering an image problem. A think tank has branded them a “waste of time”. Why? Because volunteering experiences abroad leave many young people feeling “unmotivated and disillusioned”.

The Demos report also revealed one in five volunteers felt their contribution made no difference to the people around them and that a gap year could actually be bad for local communities.

However, dig a little deeper into the report, and you’ll find it’s not all bad news. Nine out of 10 young people say the experience did wonders for their confidence, selfreliance and sense of motivation.

To make sure you get the most out of a gap year, career break, or even just a holiday, make sure you plan ahead.

Although travel is all about spontaneity, it’s worth doing some research beforehand.

Think about what you like doing and pair a destination with your interests. Consider how long your trip will be for and your budget.

If you fancy volunteering, pick a project and a country where you feel you will be able to make a positive impact, so you return home feeling as though you made a difference.

Speak to people who have volunteered in the past to find out which projects they would recommend.

Ultimately, any time spent abroad can never be a bad thing, and I’m yet to meet anyone who regretted their gap year.

Happy travels!

The gondoliers of Venice may be as clichéd as travel experiences come, but, who cares? For an all-out glut of gondolier-action, there is no 4 better opportunity than the Regata Storica; a spectacular race featuring a parade of carved, 16th-century-style boats powered by costumed rowers.

SEPT

WHERE: The procession starts on the Canal Grande. Get there early to secure a spot and possibly be given a costume.

WHY: It re-enacts the welcome given to Queen of Cyprus, Caterina Cornaro, who renounced her throne for Venice in 1489.

DO IT BECAUSE: With Venice as a backdrop,

MELBOURNE FRINGE Melbourne, Australia

An eclectic mish-mash of arts events that, like other 21-9 Fringe festivals, yields both gems and duds. Venues around the city host art, comedy, theatre, circus and cabaret performances. There’s also the chance to participate in ‘crowd play’.

SEPT/ OCT

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regatastoricavenezia.it

HORN DANCE Abbots Bromley, UK SEPT

12

Deermen, a fool, a hobby horse and Maid Marian dance to a melodian.

abbotsbromley.com/horn_dance

JANMASHTAMI Throughout India

melbournefringe.com.au

ST IVES FESTIVAL St Ives, UK

AUG

22

Parades, traditional dances and decorated temples celebrate Krishna’s birthday.

incredibleindia.org

It’s worth visiting this arty Cornish town to see moody 10-24 St Michael’s Mount and to walk by the sea any time of year. The festival adds the bonus of art, performance, street entertainment, talks, walks and more.

SEPT

stivesseptemberfestival.co.uk

58

the four races – men’s, women’s, children’s and rowing champions’ – is an incredible sight. For some of the city’s gondoliers this is a serious test of strength and skill, and competitive spirit runs high.

HOW MUCH: Free to watch.

COW’S BALL Bohinj, Slovenia SEPT

15-18

Cattle are decked out in flowers and paraded as people perform folk dances.

bohinj-info.com/en

Photos: Getty

Tell us about your gap year experience Email janine.kelso@tntmagazine.com

REGATA STORICA Venice, Italy

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PISA BANS EROTIC SOUVENIRS

Wrong image: penis Pisas

Photos: Getty

Rude souvenirs of the Leaning Tower of Pisa resembling a penis will be banned in the Italian city under a puritanical crackdown by the town’s mayor and the Catholic Church. Stalls selling the tourist mementos, which are snapped up by visitors, will be fined €500 (£439). Other outlawed souvenirs in the Tuscan town include raunchy Roman art and aprons depicting Michelangelo’s David in his birthday suit.

Mayor Marco Filippeschi said these “so-called novelty souvenir items ... are verging on the pornographic and this is not the image of the city of Pisa we want to cultivate”.

MEN PIMPING UP BEFORE HOLIDAYS

NEW COSTA RICA TOURS FROM GAP

HIGH COST OF GETTING SICK ABROAD

Growing numbers of men are taking steps to beautify themselves before going on holiday, a poll by sunshine.co.uk has revealed. Before going abroad, 72 per cent of men admitted to getting a hair cut, 69 per cent hit the gym to get their physique in trim for the beach, 48 per cent waxed their body hair and 19 per cent enjoyed a sunbed session. When asked why they took these steps before going on holiday, 61 per cent said they “wanted to look good” for their trip.

Gap Adventures has introduced seven new tours to Costa Rica for 2011 in response to a 100 per cent rise in bookings to the country.

Lush rainforests, unique wildlife, dramatic volcanoes and gorgeous beaches all add to the destination’s widening appeal. The operator offers a 16-day Costa Rica Adventure tour for £789pp, including whitewater rafting, wildlife spotting while cruising through canals, and hiking through jungles. See gapadventures.com

Holidaymakers are being urged to take out adequate travel insurance following a survey examining the huge cost of medical bills abroad.

Hospital treatment is the most expensive in the United States where costs average a staggering £4726, while Greece has the least pricey bills, averaging £422. The most common health complaint was an ear infection, for which treatment averaged £320, according to a study

by Sainsbury’s Travel Insurance.

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59

Limestone lacework: cycling among the stone walls

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Inis Mór

IRELAND

IRELAND Galway

DUBLIN

Oysters and a stout is what Galway does best.

Do it properly at Moran's Oyster Cottage, 10 miles south of Galway (moransoystercottage.com).

Inis Mór

GETTING THERE Fly to Dublin with Ryanair (ryanair.com) from £42.99 return or to Galway with Aer Arann (aerarann.com) from £146.44 return or with Aer Lingus (aerlingus. com) from £131.49 return.

Bustling: Galway's a colourful student town

Fuel up before the big island cycle with an Irish stew (£12.50) at Bayview Restaurant. The food there, including local seafood, is scrumptious and affordable (bayviewaran.com).

You will encounter proper Irish charm at Blakes Pub in Enniskillen. A worthy stop if you're heading to NI. It has live music, a pool room, and the friendliest bar staff ever (136-141 Main Street, BT92 9LA).

Good craic is guaranteed at The Quays in Galway, where a band entertains into the wee hours seven nights a week (11 Quay Street).

Sacred: lush Clonmacnoise

Skills: the writer pulls a beer 60

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Vertigo: clinging on at Dun Aonghasa

You're just a short stumble away from Temple Bar at Kinlay House Hostel in Dublin (beds £21/night). But with entertainment in-house, you might never want to leave. Also in Galway (kinlayhouse.ie).

Find refuge from studentpacked Galway at Flannery's Hotel (dbl £60/ night), a comfy three-star hotel and restaurant, which serves food from the owner's farm

UKTRIP

On the rocks Stone walls may not sound exciting, but, off Ireland's coast, they make for a to-die-for view

Photos: TNT

WORDS REBECCA KENT

If you like stone walls, you'll love Inis Mór," says our plucky tour leader. She’s really selling it, I think to myself. This hilly island off Ireland’s west coast is home to a seal colony and it is one of the last places in Ireland where the ancient Celtic language is spoken. Plus, it has the most spectacular semi-circular Celtic stone fort in Europe, perched atop a dramatic cliff face rising 300 metres from the wash of Galway Bay. But, in light of my scepticism, I am promised it's the walls that will intrigue the most. There are 16,000 meandering kilometres of them, and, apparently, I'll have never have seen anything quite like it.

So, I leave the bustling student town of Galway – where there's a great craic and non-stop nightlife – to find some rocks. It's a 45-minute bus ride and then another nauseating 45-minute ferry journey from Ireland’s west coast to the biggest of the three Aran islands.

Surveying the outcrop from the port, I note an altogether inhospitable landscape, save for a cluster of shops in the port's village, Kilronan.

We push off from here on hired bicycles into an undulating wilderness. A sea of walls comes into view and finally I concede that there might be a skerrick of appeal about this interminable latticework of limestone after all.

Having set off from Dublin the previous day, we had traversed across the middle of Ireland, taking in the Emerald Isle's most beguiling landscape; the stomping ground of the ancient high kings, Hill of Tara, and Clonmacnoise, an ancient monastic city on the shores of the Shannon river. But Inis Mór is truly unique.

Its stone walls are the legacy of farmers who flocked here during the Potato Famine of the mid-19th century.

The granite Aran islands avoided the pandemic, so men and women flocked here to survive, stacking loose stones by hand to clear the land for farming.

The island is now home to 800 people, but there is barely a sign of them. The only thing to break up the rocky monotony during most of our route along the east coast are the rubble remains of ancient churches and monasteries.

Imagine our excitement, then, to happen upon a colony of fat, blubbery seals lying carelessly on slabs of slate just off shore. They feed off fish – just like the Inis Mór's inhabitants did for for thousands of years. In fact, its fishing heritage

is said to have given rise to the Aran sweater – the bulky cable-knit garment now worn up and down the British isles.

It is sometimes said that each fisherman wore a sweater with a design unique to his family, so that if he drowned and was found, his body could be identified.

As we pedal during what I've dubbed Tour de France part deux, I wonder if I should have bought a sweater to return to my family should I snuff it along Inis Mór's hills.

We wheeze our way across the island to the prehistoric fort, Dun Aonghasa, which is considered the most magnificent barbaric monument in Europe – that's no

“

I'm transfixed by a blue blanket of ocean

”

understatement. We park our bikes at Kilmurvey Village at the foot of the fort and make a laboured trudge uphill, sniggering at the lazy sods who opted for the mini-van tour but must now also make the climb.

If I did give up the ghost in Inis Mór, I'd want to feast my eyes on this view first. I stand precariously on the edge of the jagged cliff-top of this walled fort, buffeted by a howling wind and transfixed by a blue blanket of ocean. It laps at a faint 120km (75-mile) stretch of coastline even further out.

We lay down like lizards over the edge, hypnotised by a booming mass of whitewash below. It would only take a strong gust of wind to send us freefalling, but we are too intoxicated by the beauty and the thrill of this experience to care.

The nippy air shifts us from our NEXT WEEK slate sunbeds and, again, we ride off The UK's best again along the characteristic stone adrenalin walls of Inis Mór – a seductive little adventures place after all.

Rebecca Kent travelled to Ireland with Shamrocker Adventures, which runs three, five and seven-day trips around Ireland throughout the year, from £89-£249pp. shamrockeradventures.com

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61

LATEDEALS

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Thailand: a four-night Bangkok Beginner tour is £575 with Flight Centre

DEAL OF THE WEEK CROATIA An eight-day £147 Sail Croatia (SplitDubrovnik-Split) tour is £147 with Travel Talk ( 020 8099 8852; traveltalktours. com). Includes seven nights’ B&B accommodation. Excludes flights.

Departs Sep 10. Book by Aug 30.

< £250

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GREECE An eight-day Sail Greece (Mykonos-Bodrum) tour is £260 (save 60 per cent) with Travel Talk Tours (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes seven nights’ B&B accommodation, seven lunches and one dinner. Visit Mykonos, Paros, Naxos, Ios, Santorini, Laros and Kos. Excludes flights, local payment and port taxes. Book by Aug 30. Departs Oct 1.

EGYPT A 15-day Pyramids & Beaches tour is £279 (15 per cent off) with GOBUS (020 7471 6400; thegobus.com). Includes Cairo, Luxor, Aswan and the Red Sea resort of Dahab. Departs Sep 11.

JORDAN A six-day Passage to Petra tour is £492 (15 per cent off) with On The Go (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Includes Amman, Petra, overnight camping in Wadi Rum and the Dead Sea. Departs Sep 4.

> £500 THAILAND A four-night Bangkok Beginner tour is £575 with Flight Centre (0844 800 8628; flightcentre.co.uk). Quote: BKKLONCITY1. Valid for travel from Nov 1-30. Offer ends Aug 31.

EAST AFRICA A 21-day East African Explorer tour is £628 (was £785) plus local payment of £504 with Acacia Africa (020 7706 4700; acacia-africa.com).

Includes Malawi, Zanzibar and a visit to Victoria Falls. Departs Aug 26.

EUROPE A 10-day European Escape tour, travelling from Venice to London, is £611 (was £665) with Topdeck Travel (0845 257 5212; topdeck.travel). Includes English Channel ferry crossing, B&B accommodation, three lunches and six dinners. Visit six countries, including Italy, Austria, Czech Republic, Germany, Netherlands and Belgium. Departs Sep 6 and 13.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

MONEY TRANSFERS Need to send money between Australia, New Zealand and the UK? You don’t need a bank to do it. We also do money transfers to South Africa.

TRANSFER FEES FROM £1 For live transfer rates, visit tntforex.com or call 0870 898 8996

EXCHANGE RATES* Australian dollar 1.61 New Zealand dollar 1.99 South African rand 12.01 Polish złoty 4.72 Euro 1.15 US dollar 1.64 Canadian dollar 1.63 Hong Kong dollar 12.78 Swedish krona 10.61 Swiss franc 1.21 Singapore dollar 1.99 WHY USE TNTFOREX?

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FRANCE Two nights in Paris is £229 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co. uk). Includes two nights’ B&B accommodation, return Eurostar travel, return transfers and a guided tour of the city. Departs Aug 19.

OKTOBERFEST A four-day Oktoberfest closing week tour is £151 (20 per cent off) with Travel Talk (020 8099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes B&B accommodation and a welcome party. Excludes flights. Book by Aug 30. Departs Oct 1.

GERMANY A two-night Germany Rhineland tour is £249 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes coach travel, cross-channel ferry crossings, two nights’ accommodation, a cruise on the Rhine River, a visit to a traditional Weinhaus and half-a-day in Ghent. Departs Aug 27.

MALTA One night in a shared dorm at Granny’s Inn Hostel in Sliema is £15.70 (grannysinn.com).

FRANCE A two-night Paris and Champagne region tour is £219 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes return coach and cross-channel ferry travel, two nights’ B&B accommodation, entrance to Taittinger Champagne House and caves – including a glass of champagne. Departs Aug 27.

£250 – £500

London Liverpool Street to Amsterdam from ÂŁ39 all in Rail & Sail www.stenaline.co.uk or 08445 762 762

This is a day sailing price, and needs to be booked at least 14 days in advance. Compulsory cabins required for overnight sailings. Subject to availability. Terms & conditions apply.

Enjoy the sun this summer with YHA Great locations... in the country Visit www.yha.org.uk or call our lovely team in the contact centre on 0800 0191 700 / 01629 592 700.

from s d e B

ÂŁ15

ight n r e p

www.yha.org.uk 0800 0191 700 / 01629 592 700 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

63

HOTSHOTS

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@tntmagazine LAILA PACHECO

Talks travel photography

WINNER

WINNER

THE WAY BACK HOME Cheryl Cheung, London

WHY IT WORKS Midday sun has made this image very bright and bold. It’s evenly lit with strong lines that bring your line of vision to the main focus in the centre – the man – reinforcing the symmetry of the image. In this thoughtful scene, you almost feel as if you are there walking down the slope with the subject. By shooting from the top of the hill, Cheryl has emphasised the street’s sharp drop.

RUNNER-UP ‘PARADISE AWAY FROM HOME’ Jess Gaines, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS This is a tranquil scene with bold tones that radiate in the summer sun. The delicate shadow beneath the boat provides another element to the fantasy. The red ribbon has broken the many shades of blue, giving contrast and warmth. Where possible, shoot with the sun behind you. I personally would leave less foreground and not centre the boat so much.

RUNNER-UP

HOT TIPS: Colour BEING BOLD Using bright, vibrant colour is a great effect in breaking up a photo and giving it more depth. When you have a colourful image, make the photo bright. If shooting in the sun, choose a low ISO so you don’t blow out any of the high lights or overexpose and lose detail. You can also use fill-in flash but I always prefer natural light – it gives

64

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a flowing feel. Remember to balance and complement colours – sometimes less is more, and concentrating on a few to make more of an impact often creates an image with a ‘wow’ factor. Your aim is to bring a scene to life and, sometimes, having too many colours can confuse and clutter an image. Don’t let one shade dominate unless you want it to be the main focus.

A THREE DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE

WIN

Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

2011 Event Dates: 27.08: Club Hopping Week 24.09: Endless Summer Week 01.10: Rocktober Fest

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• No bags to carry. No hotels to check in and out of.

• Spectacular views that change by the hour.

• Local culture or learn the lingo with our crews.

Cruise around small islands. Swim everyday in another bay.

Explore small ports, cafes and tavernas. Experience amazing clubs and bars ‘til the early hours.

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MILAN, ITALY

Sumptuous rooms

CLIFTON HOUSE OVERVIEW Housed within a Victorian villa, this boutique hotel is set in Bristol’s hip Clifton Village, within stumbling distance of its convivial gastropubs, restaurants, bars and boutiques. Brunel’s famous Clifton Suspension Bridge is a short walk away. Affable hotel staff are only too happy to give directions and to suggest restaurants and places to see during your stay.

WOW FACTOR The hearty breakfast gets my vote. As well as a good selection of cereals, yoghurt, cheese and fruit, guests can tuck into a tasty full English breakfast in a brightly lit dining room. Daily newspapers are on offer for those who like to keep abreast of current affairs while munching on their sausages.

ROOMS Sumptuous boudoir-style bedrooms are big enough to swing a cat in and are tastefully decorated in dark purple and white. Beds are super-comfortable and large, while bathrooms are spacious with brandnew power showers. Wallpaper is chic and modern, lending the rooms a luxury feel. My room was supremely clean and, as such, I felt like I was the first person to stay there.

BILL PLEASE Single rooms from £55 per night, including a full English breakfast, off-street parking and wi-fi. Doubles from £70 per night. JK

4 Tyndall’s Park Road, Clifton, Bristol, BS8 1PG. tyndallparkhotel.co.uk

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This Italian metropolis is a mecca for fashion gurus. The perfectly preened locals look like they have stepped straight off the catwalk, as they totter around on sky-high heels, togged up in designer garments and chic accessories.

If you want to splurge on highend Italian designers, head to the Quadrilatero d’Oro (rectangle of gold), where the streets are flush with highend designer boutiques: think Armani, Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Versace and all the major fashion houses. La Rinascente is Milan’s main department store and stocks everything from clothing and beauty products to gifts and household goods.

If you want to give your credit card a rest, but you’re still keen to soak up the designer shopping vibe, many of the boutiques have snazzy in-house cafes. Knock back a cocktail at Bar Martini in Dolce & Gabbana’s flagship store at Corso Venezia 15 or sip an espresso like a local at the Gucci Café in the glass-roofed Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, the world’s first enclosed shopping mall, which opened in 1867.

After a heavy day of retail therapy, refuel with a prosecco at the Armani Café, chock-full of designer memorabilia.

For bargain buys, check out Il Salvagente (salvagentemilano.it), a factory outlet loaded with designer seconds, imitations and last season’s stock from brands such as Armani, Fendi and Prada. If you loathe big brands, find alternative fashion shops on corso di Porta Ticinese or in Brera.

But fashion is not Milan’s only attraction. Don’t leave the city without seeing the palatial Milan Cathedral (Duomo di Milano), Italy’s largest cathedral. Also explore the Royal Palace of Milan, an expansive building used by the government for centuries, which now houses exhibitions.

If sport is more your cup of tea, catch an AC Milan or FC Internazionale Milano game after taking a short bus ride to the stadium. Petrolheads should visit in September to catch the Italian Grand Prix, 20km from the city. enit.it

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TOKYO, JAPAN

Stepping on to the streets of Tokyo is like getting a sneaky peak into the future; its neon lights and modern architecture have had a direct influence on the city’s fashion.

Renowned for its edgy street elements, Tokyo fashion combines bright colours and eccentric details, creating an outlandish style. For high-end shops, try the Ginza district. Also check out Odaiba, a popular shopping and entertainment area in Tokyo Bay. seejapan.co.uk

Photos: Thinkstock; Jenni Marsh; Getty; Visit Berlin; TNT

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PARIS, FRANCE

The city of lights has been home to some of the greatest masterminds of haute couture, including Chanel, Yves St Laurent and Louis Vuitton.

For upscale designs, make a beeline for the Champs-Elysees, a prestigious avenue lined with the city’s most exclusive brands. For vintage stores aplenty, say ‘bonjour’ to Paris’s Le Marais district, where you can snap up amazing finds at rock bottom prices.

The world’s largest flea market, Les Puces, is a treasure trove of vintage. franceguide.com

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TOP FIVE

NEW YORK CITY, US

Head across the pond to this energetic city for some shopping that won’t disappoint.

Make a beeline for Stateside department stores, such as trendy Barneys; Bloomingdale’s, with its famous brown bags; and nine-floored Macy’s. If you love vintage clothes and record shops, visit the East Village and Brooklyn. Small neighbourhoods such as Soho are home to hip designers Anna Sui and Miu Miu. nycgo.com

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BERLIN, GERMANY

Hip Berlin has a burgeoning vintage scene, oozing retro shops and funky flea markets. For Eighties garb and punky pieces, drop into Made in Berlin (kleidermarket.de) and for dirt-cheap second-hand clothes, rifle through the rails at the five-floored charity shop Humana (Frankfurther Tor 3).

Jumbo Second Hand (Wiener Strabe, 63), is an epic jumble sale, while Ohne Frage Toll (Chausseestrasse; ohnefragetoll.de) has a great range of retro.

NEXT WEEK Top five: The world’s best academic cities

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TRAVELTIPS

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READERS’ TIPS JUST DESERTS TIP When in Morocco, visit OF THE Merzouga, a small village WEEK in the Sahara Desert and home to Erg Chebbi, the largest sand dunes in Morocco. It’s an absolutely stunning and surreal place. There are great hotels, camel treks and dune buggies as well!

Sacha, via email

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LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

Q

I’ve just read that Delhi has had its first dengue fever death and six new cases of the virus in the past month. What are the best precautions to take when visiting the city? Ruth, via email

A

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I’m planning a road trip around Portugal in September. I want to fly into Porto, spend a few days exploring the Duoro Valley and then drive down the coast to Lisbon. Have you got any recommendations for accommodation and Port tasting day tours in terms of value for money and picturesque settings?

Emily, via email

A

Firstly, I would suggest heading to Pinhão, a delightful village and a good base for exploring vineyards. Check out the Quinta Nova estate which features a fun GPS challenge to locate caches of wine (quintanova.com).

You are in a good position to explore the vineyards as having a car is the easiest way to get around. Pick up a map from the tourist office which details more than 50 vineyards.

One standout vineyard to check out is the family run Quinta do Portal (quintadoportal.com) which is 12km north of Pinhão and has its own guesthouse, where you can stay if you enjoy one too many of their products.

Accommodation here varies, with a number of plush expensive options and some budget options dotted in between.

A good compromise is the Casa de Casal de Loivos, which has a fabulous setting and, while not cheap, is certainly not overpriced (casadecasaldeloivos.com).

Or you can choose another good budget option – Hotel Douro (hotel-douro.com) which has several river-facing rooms.

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This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

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You are right to point out that it’s very important to take the appropriate precautions against dengue fever while in Delhi.

The virus is contracted from the bite of a mosquito that has previously bitten an infected person. As a mosquito-carried disease, you will be most likely be taking some precautions anyway. Stay in air-conditioned rooms or use a mosquito net at night.

Note that the mosquito which carries the fever travels day and night so use repellent at all times. Take particular care if near stagnant water, including water-filled flower pots, cans and plastic bags.

You may want to look into clothing infused with insect repellent, Craghoppers’ NosiLife is a good range. Wearing loose-fitting, long-sleeved tops and trousers will also help protect you.

Also, be mindful of the symptoms so you can consult a doctor immediately if necessary. You should be on the lookout for a high fever, severe headache, tiredness, joint pain, muscle ache and swollen glands. Sometimes sufferers may also develop a rash.

However, I would advise that, as with most long-haul travel, there are risks to be aware of, but do not let it spoil your holiday. I recently went to India and had a great time!

Q

ON THE ROAD Renting a car on holiday is a great way to see the sights and be independent, especially if you’re travelling in a small group. But make sure you always read the small print and avoid paying for unnecessary insurance extras that are added as a ploy for the rental companies to make extra money. It’s much better to rent cars that come with a full tank of fuel which you then return with the same amount. Avoid paying the rental company for top-up fuel as this will certainly be much more expensive than if you buy it yourself.

Finally, ensure you adhere to the country’s traffic regulations as a hefty fine is never a holiday souvenir to be proud of!

Ross, via email

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SAHARA DESERT, MOROCCO Tanya Pownceby, Adelaide, Australia

BEST / WORST TRIP KELLIE LEE, 21

RYAN MILLER, 20

Los Angeles, US

New York City, US

BEST My favourite trip was a cruise I took to Mexico last summer with my mum. It was great to just laze by the pool, as well as exploring different parts of Mexico. We went kayaking and I saw a blowhole, which is a large spout of seawater.

WORST I had a bad experience when I went to Paris last winter with my mum. We were climbing up the stairs of the Metro at Montmartre when my mum caught a girl trying to steal things out of her purse. My mum went mad and ended up getting into a massive argument with the girl. » Tell us your best/worst trips Email janine.kelso@tntmagazine.com

Your most memorable travel experience?

Going to the Cayman Islands a few years ago – it had such a chilled-out vibe. It was also where I scuba dived for the first time; I was nervous, but it’s definitely an experience I would recommend.

Who’s your dream travel partner?

Will Ferrell. He’s hilarious and would ease all those tense, stressful moments that happen while travelling.

Best concert you’ve been to?

Seeing U2 live at Madison Square Gardens.

SPLASHING OUT

PENTHOUSE LIVING IN LATVIA Get a taste of plush penthouse living in the undiscovered old town of Liepaja, on Latvia’s Baltic coast. The palatial apartment has an iconic Eero Aarnio bubble chair and a Finnish sauna.

Photos: TNT

THE TRAVELLER

Stay in the LuxLoft Penthouse, which sleeps up to four, for £132-177 per night (minimum stay three nights) with One Off Places (oneoffplaces.co.uk).

THE INSIDER

DAVID FORDER Head of marketing Flight Centre

The best part of my job is being able to talk about travel every day of the week without sounding like a geek.

My first ever big trip was a round-the-world adventure that was life-changing and character building.

My favourite place in the world is New Zealand as it has so much to offer the intrepid traveller.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is India. I’d love to take six months off to travel through India and Nepal.

My guilty travel pleasure is food! I love trying new cuisines, so, when I’m away, I’m often led by finding great restaurants to sample the best of the local delicacies.

I always pack a Swiss Army Knife and a ball of string. The uses for both are endless.

My top travel tip is to be flexible with your travel plans and go with the flow. Life’s most memorable adventures are quite often ones that weren’t planned – they just happen.

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Sail away with me: the beauty of the open sea

Sailing CROATIA

CROATIA ZAGREB

ZADAR

GETTING THERE Fly from London to Zadar or Split with Ryanair (ryanair.com). Return flights cost from ÂŁ50.

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Ahoy there, captain: Matt as skipper

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Sail of the century Find your sea legs and learn how to helm a yacht – language barrier permitting – off Croatia’s sun-kissed Dalmatian coast WORDS MATT RISLEY

My track record with learning to pilot vehicles both great and small is not what exactly you'd call exemplary. I’ve been catapulted from horses, thrown sideways by Segways, and the less said about the great Milton Keynes go-kart pile-up of 1995 the better. So you can understand my trepidation at the thought of helming a 10-metre yacht containing my four crewmates/potential man overboarders during a week's learning-to-sail holiday off the coast of Murter, deep in the heart of the Croatian isles.

Yet a mere 48 hours into our adventure on the waves and everyone's remarkably – mariner pun alert – buoyant.

But then when your days consist of lazy lunches at secluded spots, a cloudless sunny sky, spontaneous swimming stops and worrying about nothing but the wind in your sails, it's hard not to be.

I’m not going to lie – after clambering aboard our hefty beauty ‘Stella’ and getting acquainted with my ‘cosy’ cabin, the skipper sits us down for a nifty debrief. “By the time you leave here you'll be able to tie the stern line under the pushpit, through the fairlead and around the cleat with your eyes closed,” he advises.

“

each other around the head is a eureka one, and basically ensures we can steer the boat in all directions – powered by nothing but wind alone.

Admittedly, there’s the occasional hiccup as we, quite literally, learn the ropes. An attempt to up anchor confines my sunglasses to Davy Jones’s Locker – a flailing dive after them quickly hammers home quite how deep the watery abyss truly is; my knots definitely do not hold – au revoir dingy; and sea urchins are my new worst enemy – if a fish, hedgehog and wasp made sweet, sweet love, you’d only come close to the delightful seabed-strewn animal rude enough to stab me when I keep treading on it.

But with the parking, reversing, wonky sailing – it’s not uncommon for the boat to be at more than a 45 degree angle – and all-important sail switcharoo all more ››

Sea urchins are my new worst enemy

”

And there I was worrying about the language barrier being Croatian. Still, the group is mercifully varied – from complete nautical newbies to those who have crewed before on smaller vessels – and while there's a cavalcade of boating and meteorological terminology to get my head around, this is no strict schooling.

Within five minutes of leaving the quay I'm plonked behind the wheel and encouraged to reverse the massive, very expensive and very dentable boat back into the harbour for ‘a bit of practice’.

The bewilderingly trusting teaching continues and within a couple of days the crew is working in sync to surprisingly satisfying effect. The moment we learn how to tack, gybe, winch, hoist and unhoist the mainsail without clattering

Picture-pretty: soak up the scenery

Chill-out time: take turns to sunbathe on deck TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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or less covered, there’s a fluidity to our daily set-up that’s unforgettably relaxing. With more than 1000 islands sprinkled off the gorgeous 200-mile Dalmatian coast, the region’s perpetually sun-kissed world is our oyster.

Our days consist of grabbing fresh food supplies from whatever remote island hideaway we’re moored at – unsurprisingly, the region’s fish is mouth-wateringly munchable – plotting a course, getting lost, spotting a dolphin, stopping for a cooling splash in picture-postcard turquoise waters, and sailing on to our day’s destination – all while taking turns to sunbathe on the boat, steer or cheer encouragingly when the boat goes around in circles.

My newly boozy-and-bearded appearance after a week on the open seas may have left me looking like the illegitimate love child of Jack Sparrow and Captain Birdseye, but I can't help but feel a newly nautical convert.

Now if someone could just invent an aquatic Segway, I’m fairly sure I could give Ellen MacArthur a run for her money. ❚

Idyllic: sailing around Croatia's pretty coastline

Matt Risley learnt to sail with Activity Yachting. Learn to sail holidays cost from £295 for a week on the boat, based on two people sharing. activityyachting.com

NEXT WEEK Visit notoriously expensive Iceland on a budget

ZADAR

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Located next to the Square of Five Wells, Konoba Skoblar is the oldest tavern in the city and boasts affordable seafood to die for (Trg Petra Zoranica, Zadar).

While it's situated a little out of town, the effort to get to Tamaris is worth it. Locally sourced lamb is the best you'll get in the city. Divine (tamaris-zadar.com.hr).

Widely and locally regarded as one of the city's top restaurants, Restoran Kornat offers true Dalamatian cuisine with a hearty a la carte twist (restaurant-kornat.com/en).

SLEEP

Brand-spanking new and situated in the very heart of the Old Town (just a minute's walk from the seafront), Hostel Elena is cheap, cheerful and clean – and perfectly sited next to bars and restaurants galore (hostelelena-zadar.hr).

Located slap bang next to the airport, Hotel Porto is a little way out of town but substantial and convenient enough to appeal for those with an early flight (hotelporto.hr).

As the only hotel in Zadar's beautiful Old Town district, you can't go wrong with the boutique-esque Hotel Bastion, built into the side of a 13th-century Venetian fortress. It's affordable despite the luxury – and even comes with its own cannons (hotel-basion.hr/en).

DRINK

If you like your music loud, your drinks cheap and your clientele energetic, head to Caffe 72 – the city's student party mecca (Znate Svi Di, Zadar).

Frequently flip-flopping between acting as a concert hall, restaurant and bar, 13th-century converted barn Arsenal Zadar is as chilled as it is spectacular. And surprisingly affordable (arsenalzadar.com).

The crème de la boozy crème of the city, The Garden encompasses an ever-intriguing smorgasbord of music tastes and themed areas. It was opened by two of the original members of UB40 (watchthegardengrow.eu).

EAT

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Photos: Matt Risley, Ivo Pervan / Croatian Tourist Board, Thinkstock

BUDGET

LIFESTYLE SAILING IN THE CROATIAN ISLANDS Australian Tony Zucco took over Get Away Sailing from his friend Jon, who he met on the Island of Naxos.

Tony’s love of sailing and the Croatian Islands ensures we can provide a unique island hopping experience on private yachts.

www.getawaysailing.co.uk

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Down by the sea This is Valletta in 48 hours WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

DAY 1: 09:00 Get straight into some diving gear and explore the shipwreck of World War II destroyer HMS Maori just off Valletta’s coast. Swimming through the wreckage of the ship, which went down after a direct hit from a German bomb in 1942, you’ll spot marine life such as cardinal and scorpion fish as they create a kaleidoscope of colours. Kit rental prices on accompanied dives with Diveshack start from €40 (£34) (divemalta.com/diving).

13:00 You’ll be famished after that, so refuel at Café Jubilee (cafejubilee.com) with a hearty steak-and-ale pie or speciality dish, Nanna’s homemade ravioli. The best bit about this place is the eccentric décor, with 1920s and 1930s furniture, walls papered with old newspapers and wonky posters, and an upside-down table and chairs on the ceiling.

14:30 Head over to the almost adjacent Palace Square for the Grand Master’s Palace, which houses the Maltese government. If parliament isn’t in session you can go inside for free and see the Council Chamber, adorned with valuable 15th-century French Gobelins tapestries. Make sure you get to the former Hall of the Supreme Council of the Knights, with its ornate frescoes; and the Armory, with one of the largest arms collections in the world.

15:30 For what’s dubbed the best bit of Baroque architecture in Valletta, visit St. John’s Co-Cathedral (stjohnscocathedral.com). Built between 1572 and 1577 by the ruling Ottoman Turkish Order of the Knights of Malta, who took control some 40 years before, the walls are decked with striking gold detail and beautifully ornate tapestries and paintings. Entry costs £6.

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16:30 Wander along Republic Street, the main road running through the middle of the city. Browse the boutiques and designer shops along the city gate end of the street, then walk further towards the sea. Here, take in the Continental architecture with light-stone flats and stacked houses with protruding wooden balconies.

19:00 Head back up along the coastal road to Giannini (gianninimalta.com), where they serve top-notch Italian grub like carpaccio of local octopus and pan-seared Barbary duck breast infused with gozo fig conserve. Plonk your weary limbs on the terrace, where you’ll get the best views across to Manoel Island.

21:00 This city (and the rest of Malta) isn’t known for crazy parties, but to search out some nightlife, head south and outside the city walls to the Valletta Waterfront.

You’ll find bars and clubs in converted warehouses and plenty of outdoor seating areas facing out on to the harbour.

The signature cocktail at the sleek, lounge-style Q Bar (qbar. com.mt) is the Flaming Lamborgini – made with Sambuca and fed with more alcohol by the barman to keep it alight as you drink it.

DAY 2: 08:00 The Cordina family has been baking delicious sweet treats since 1837 and their café (Caffe Cordina, caffecordina.com) has become a bit of a Maltese institution. Start your day with a carb-filled breakfast from these pastry connoisseurs.

08:30 Jump on a bus (arriva.com.mt) heading north towards Mellieha for a morning of windsurfing. Mellieha Bay is the island’s largest bay and one of Malta’s go-to places

Photos: Malta Tourism Authority

Spectacular: St John's Co-Cathedral

for watersports, with its clear waters and good breaks (there’s a shallow reef in the middle of the bay). Experts can hire equipment from Windy Shack Windsurf Centre (windsurfmalta.com) for £13 per hour or personal lessons cost £22 an hour including equipment. When you’re done, grab a sandwich from one of the many beach kiosks for a picnic on the white sand before heading back to Valletta.

15:30 If you’ve still got some fight in you, hire a bicycle and follow the craggy coastline south, passing forts and watchtowers, such as the British-built Fort Leonardo, dating back to the late 1800s and the 17th-century Zonqor Tower, constructed by the Knights of Malta. Push on to the Xrobb I-Ghagin Nature Park peninsula, with its forest areas and ocean views, before biking back to Valletta. Bike hire with Malta Bookers (maltabookers.com) costs £11 per day and bikes can be delivered to a location of your choice for about £22.

19:00 By now you’ll be in the mood to quell the hunger you’ve worked up. You can’t leave Malta without trying traditional local fare. The best option is rustic eatery Rubino (giuseppismalta.com) for a long lazy dinner of lampuki fish pie or deep-fried savoury doughnuts with anchovies.

GETTING THERE: Return flights to Luqa Malta international Airport cost from £104 with Ryanair (ryanair.com), £106 when booking with easyJet (easyjet.com) and from £120 with Air Malta (airmalta.com). The number 8 bus runs between Luqa airport and Valletta from 6am to 9.30pm throughout the week.

Into the blue: go diving in Gozo

Stylish: party on at Q Bar TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Bangkok THAILAND

THAILAND Sangkhlaburi Kanchanaburi BANGKOK

GETTING THERE Thai Airways flies daily to Bangkok from £598 per person for return economy. It also has a internal Domestic Discover Thailand Airpass (valid for three months) for £170 for three internal flight coupons – with additional coupons for £56 each. See thaiairways.co.uk

A bumpy jaunt: the obligatory elephant ride

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BIGTRIP

The Thai life Forget bumming around on golden beaches. Head inland, off the beaten track, and give back to the community while you’re there WORDS ALISON GRINTER

WHEN TO GO: March to May can be uncomfortably hot. It rains As soon as I clap eyes on Sangkhlaburi, I to reality with stint of 'volun-tourism'. least and is less hot from November know it's the Shangri-La I’ve been waiting Our first port of call is Dream House, to February. for. From my hotel balcony I can see the home to 35 children who are either orphans sleepy frontier town set low in a valley or have nowhere else to go because their CURRENCY: £1= 48.49 Baht beside a calm, limpid lake dotted with parents can no longer afford to look after ACCOMMODATION: longboats. Two gold temples jut out of the them. The kids, aged between three and 13, Bangkok: Navalai River Resort, lush foliage on the mist-shrouded hills above. 45/1-2 Phra Athit Road (navalai. are excited to see our group arrive. With only A towering, ramshackle bridge traverses a husband and wife team to look after them, com). Doubles from £60 per night the lake. It's impossibly scenic, like an old they crave adult attention. (high season); £43 per night (low).

Hollywood movie’s depiction of the exotic One boy, Jonathan, particularly pulls at Sangkhlaburi: P Guest House, Far East. Hot, smelly Bangkok seems like my heartstrings – he has large, sad eyes and Tumbom Nonglu. (p-guesthouse. a distant memory to me now. seems smaller than the other children. But he com). Accommodation and From the capital we had travelled northlights up when I start to play catch with him. adventure packages from £17pppn east and stopped overnight in Kanchanaburi, The grounds of the orphanage are spartan SEE: tourismthailand.org famed for its bridge over the River Kwai. but there are plenty of games and toys The fast-running Kwai is beautiful, and the around and the children seem happy and town laidback, but spying the tourist-infested well cared for. In between playing games bridge from our sunset raft ride was enough to make us with them, the volunteers share their stories. want to flee into the jungle. Which is exactly what have done “I do a lot of volunteer work,” Amy Roskilly, 24, from – Sangklahburi, 150km north of Kanchanaburi and a few London, says. “It’s the best way to see a country. You can go miles from the Burmese border, fits the bill perfectly. on holiday and see the tourist spots, but as a volunteer you After a restful sleep, it's time to get amongst it. We can get behind the scenes and get to know the people and are now in Karen – pronounced 'Callian' – country where culture. There’s the tourist brochure, then there’s the truth.” the people make up the largest of the major hill tribes of “I know it’s a cliché,” Madeleine Armstrong, 30, also from northern Thailand.

London, says “But it's good to be able to travel and to be In this part of the world, it’s almost obligatory to have an able to give something back.” elephant ride, and our hosts don’t let us down. But this being With the help of volunteers, the orphanage has installed the tropics, it has rained overnight and our truck journey electricity, running water and a house that sleeps up to via slippery roads is a white-knuckle ride. It's still drizzling five in a room, creating a family atmosphere. But there’s when we climb on to our beasts and go tramping through still more to be done: while we’re there, a group of young the jungle before wading into a swollen tributary. My Indian volunteers busily digs a drainage ditch. elephant, Papoo, behaves impeccably and thankfully doesn't We spend the afternoon with the kids, but it's time to start trumpeting wildly like some of the others when a group move on. I can't help feeling sad about their plight, and quiz of Buddhist monks roars past in a motorboat. the volunteer co-ordinators, Mark and AJ. A bit damp now, we congregate in the bamboo huts They assure me all the youngsters are happy despite their nearby and chow down on delicious hot kow pad kai (fried seeming lack of adult attention, but, equally importantly, rice) served in banana leaves. they are safe: the border areas between Burma and Thailand When experiencing a country as beautiful as Thailand are notorious for people trafficking. Children can easily be from the viewpoint of a pampered tourist, it’s easy to snatched and sold into prostitution or slave labour. forget it's a developing country with all the economic It's shocking to hear this, and it's clear the role of the and social problems that entails. But we get brought back volunteers is vital. Soon, we're off on another adventure. ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Give something back: kids at Dream House orphanage AJ, Mark and a village elder – the only one in our group smart enough to wear wellies – attempt to take us on a trek to another one of their projects. It’s the site of a new water-pipe to the nearby village, and the trench will be dug by volunteers. But we don’t get very far. There has been so much rain that thigh-high pools of water block the path.

Some of the more intrepid types plough on but give up in shame when they are quickly overtaken by a small boy; an elderly, cigarette-smoking woman; and a man on crutches.

We know we’re properly in the jungle now because the insects are scarily big and the sounds of crickets, frogs and cicadas create one cacophonous chorus.

That night, we dine at local restaurant Toys, where my tastebuds are tantalised by the spiciest food I've tried so far. It certainly set us up for a night of drinking and playing pool at a local bar. We spend probably too much time trying out the local whiskeys and rum which aren't as rough as we thought they might be but, even so, we're feeling pretty messy as we stumble back to the Guesthouse in the early hours.

The next morning, slightly sore-headed, we climb a steep hill to another orphanage, Nuns School, run by a Buddhist nun. It’s not as cosy as Dream House, and the children seem more needy for attention and don't have many toys. One little girl grabs my hand, clearly excited by the prospect of having some attention from a grown up. Others take our cameras and start snapping pictures of us and each other.

All around is a hive of activity as volunteers busily plant vegetables so the kids will have fresh food to eat. Others are painting murals to make the place look more cheery.

We wave goodbye to the children as we set off for our 78

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next adventure. It was supposed to involve white-water rafting on the Song Kalia river but the rain has made the rapids too powerful, so we go tubing instead. While floating down a river on the inner tube of a tractor wheel, may sound lame, it's brilliant fun – the sort of simple pleasure you experienced as a kid. Plus, as the strong current threatens to spirit us to Burma, it’s actually more of an adrenaline ride than I expected. Three of our party get carried so far

Record-breaker: the longest wooden bridge in the world

The Insider's guide Dan Moore, director of Real Gap Thailand, on why you should visit Bangkok.

Some people give Bangkok a wide berth – what are they missing out on?

Lots! Bangkok has so much to offer. It's the cultural and social heart of Thailand, from its amazing temples and The Grand Palace to the Chao Praer River and the vibrant night scene. People make false assumptions about its nightlife; the sex trade occupies only a few isolated areas/streets. Bangkok people are party animals so there are bars and discos to suit all tastes.

Floating fun: the writer goes tubing downstream, they end having to trek through the jungle with their tubes. Dressed in nothing but their swimsuits they scandalise a group of Buddhist monks in a village on their return.

Back on dry land, there's an undeniable 'ah-this-is-thelife' moment, as I sip a Leo beer in a bamboo hut beside the

“

Too much Hong Tong can make you ting tong

”

river. If you get sick of drinking beer, there's always the local whiskey, Hong Tong – but it should come with a warning: too much Hong Tong can make you ting tong (that’s Thai for 'crazy') as we'd found out the night before.

Next, it’s time to explore Sangkhlaburi properly. The original town was flooded when the reservoir was built in 1984, and remains underwater, a bit like the original town of Jindabyne in Australia.

It is a fascinating blend of ethnicities with Burmese, Karen, Mon, Thai and Lao people all living here. ››

Where should travellers go if they want to avoid tourist hang outs like the Khao San Road?

The business district of Sukhumvit has great nightlife and shopping, as does Siam. For a great Thai night out, head to the night market at Huay Kwai (MRT station) or RCA which is lined with bars and discos.

Where do you take friends when they visit you?

The river. Canal and river tours are great and offer an amazing perspective of the city. Then I take my friends for street food which you can get for less than £1 followed by a wine bar or restaurant such as Long Table (longtablebangkok.com). I also take them market shopping followed by a mall.

Where are the best places to interact with the local people and have an authentic experience?

Siam, Sukhumvit, Ratchada and Pratunam – these are all central districts which will have tourists but the majority are Bangkok people – Thais and expats.

What’s your favourite place to go out?

I am a big fan of Sukhumvit area, it has it all. Sky bars at hotels, tapas, French wine bar, ice bar, disco, Australian bars, Mexican, Thai and Indian restaurants, pubs ... it's a really vibrant street.

Dan Moore, of Real Gap Thailand TNTMAGAZINE.COM

79

It's also home to the longest wooden bridge in the world which leads to the Mon Village of Wang Kha. The Mon people, who fled the oppressive regime in their homeland of Burma, now call Wang Kha home.

Here you can get up close to the two gleaming temples known collectively as Wat Wang Wiwekaram.

Though Sangkhlaburi barely rates a mention in my guidebooks, there are signs it won't stay undiscovered for long: the Haiku guesthouse behind our hotel serves flat whites and smoothies to a soundtrack of groovy lounge music – the Western influence is already creeping in.

A couple of the group sit, sipping our drinks on the terrace as some lazy dogs lie on the grass beside us. I had been anxious about rabies, which is meant to be endemic in this area. But while there certainly are packs of dogs roaming around, they are among the most placid, happy looking animals I've ever seen.

That night we dine at the River Resort, where the menu is a delight of mangled English with dishes like 'fish balls casually stabbed'. Not feeling that adventurous, I pass, and instead plump for E-San soup from the region near the Thai/ Cambodian border. Easily the hottest thing I’ve ever eaten, it nearly blows my head off. Still, it's a fitting last supper in the jungle.

Sadly we must head back to Bangkok tomorrow. I'm not relishing the idea of returning to that hot, sweaty armpit of a town but after such an inspiring relaxed trip, I think I can handle it. ❚

All aboard: travel Thai-style

Alison Grinter travelled to Thailand with Real Gap Experience. Prices start from £999 for four weeks including accommodation, airport transfer and tour of Bangkok and Kanchanaburi. realgap.co.uk or call 01892 516164. gapyearforgrownups.co.uk

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oice is yours! ch e Th T? H IG FL L? TE O H ?

P COACH? CAM

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TRAVEL

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Any confirmed appointments and we will send you a voucher for £25 - simple as that.

Please include your full name and address for us to send your voucher.

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GOT A ROOM OR FLAT TO RENT? POST IT FOR FREE tntmagazine.com/accommodation TNTMAGAZINE.COM 121

DESPERATELYSEEKING five hours to drive there from Edinburgh). I’ve booked a campsite.

I’m looking for someone to share the petrol costs. You can either stay with me in my tent (bring a sleeping bag) or you can book your own accommodation and drive back yourself. I am keen to explore the island and the distilleries. Get in touch via tntmagazine.com/forums.

Kylie Campbell.

To the guy dressed in the AC/DC outfit at She Bu Walkie, Sunday, August 7: I reckon you and I could tear up

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

#440 Start training for beach volleyball at London 2012. Nice tan, your maj ...

the Highway to Hell. You were Aussie and ordered seven snakies when I met you at the bar and we found out we had mutual friends in Melbourne. It was enough of an ice-breaker to get my tongue down your throat before the night’s end.

We didn’t even ask each other’s names first. Not that I care, anyway, just as long as we can do it all over again. Round two?

Max and Shell: Thanks for taking me in when my flat got smoked out. I positively nearly crapped myself when it was all going on, and being so far away from home makes it seem so much

DATING

If you’re looking for

love romance friendship... or just

122 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

worse. You are both true angels and one day, I can only hope to return the favour. Stace.

The sexy water-skier from Southampton: I didn’t get your name, but you knew I was game, then you nailed me like a sea lion.

I can’t wipe the smile from my face – or the seaweed. Hope to see you again. Stu. My lovely Ricky: You charm your way into our lives, leave us spellbound by your chivalry, then piss right off without so much as a warning. I thought we were going

to be friends forever. I guess not.

When a life of corporate wining and dining, and box seats at the rugby internationals at the weekends begins to lose it’s shine, give me a call. I won’t answer.

Looking for the guy on the Piccadilly line Tube reading a book on Friday, August 5: I started to get interested in the book you were reading and you were kind enough to let me have a closer look. But suddenly, we got to Hammersmith and you had to get off. I wish I’d had the courage to say something. Anyway, let’s discuss the book :). Denise Haufe,

@tntmagazine

via tntmagazine.com/forums.

Miss Don’t-Beat-AroundThe-Bush: I am a 24-year-old Aussie female looking for someone strictly for benefits only. I don’t want any of this ‘friends’ business.

It just makes things complicated.

Terms and conditions are: 1) No hugging or intimate kissing. 2) Get in, get the job done, and get out. 3) My number is to make engagements only, so no ‘I miss you’ texts, etc. 4) No getting to know each other - clearly, I just want a shag. 5) You are on my call. 6) You must be older than 25-years-old. This may seem harsh, fellas, but that’s how you play the game, and now I will, too. Think you can handle it? Email shagginonly@ hotmail.com.

Happy birthday Duncs: Happy birthday to you/you look like an old shoe/you rip farts like a tart and you shag plenty, too. Oi oi oi.

Congratulations Little Suzie: I’m so glad you go the job you wanted. You work like a deamon and party like a little dynamite and deserve every success the world can throw at you. You’re an inspiration.

Get out there and nail it, gorgeous girl. Beau-Diddy.

Clapham Common Calvin: Granted, it was cold but that was no excuse. You promised lots and delivered little. You built me up and let me down. You acted like a god, but looked like a clown. Don’t bother calling ... tosser.

To the Lightfeet: You probably won’t get to read this so I’ll have to send you a copy, but I just wanted to say how much I miss you both.

Please don’t get eaten by a lion, or stomped on by an elephant. Love always, Meils.

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Photos: Getty

Gramps/OWMG: Your departure signals the beginning of the end of Churchill Castle. We’ll miss your delight at popping the rum cork, your apron collection and drunken giggles about your evening exploits (esp. when The Wife was involved!). Your culinary skills are second to none and if siestas maketh the man, you must be one hot specimen! Our livers will be glad the instigator of ‘It’s a shot night!’ has gone. Too bad about the farewell pig. Have a zitch time in Borneo! From El Capitan, Castilians and Cling-ons.

To my stand-in husband: I can’t believe you’re leaving me!

Now who is going to look after me?

Thank you so much for all you have done and the roof over my head longer than planned. You have been such an awesome friend, I’m going to miss the hell out of you when you go back to Kiwi land. lots of love, your wanna-be wife.

Dear Beautiful: Just a TNT message to ask you a question: how did you get so beautiful?

All my love, Ruth xoxoxox Plucker-cup and carpet arse: Thanks for the wild night out in London Town, you boys. You’re such a pair of fucking posers – I can’t believe all those chicks were falling all over you. Are they easier in this city, or are you guys just hotter than the rest? Actually, don’t answer that. Anyway, big up. Rod. Travel buddy wanted: I’m an easygoing 25-year-old Aussie girl living and working Edinburgh and looking for someone to buddy up with me on a drive to Ashaig, in the Isle of Skye. I’m leaving on Saturday, August 27 and coming back on the Monday (it takes about

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