TNT Magazine / Issue 1461

August 29-September 4 2011 Issue 1461 tntmagazine.com

WIN!

AN IPAD WIT H THE GOLDEN BACKPACK AWARDS

THE SOUND OF SUCCESS Superclub Ministry celebrates 20 years

TOP SECRET SPEAKEASIES London’s underground drinking den revival

SHAREHOUSE NIGHTMARES How to avoid living with a bunch of weirdos

E D A S U R C E CAP her cit y t o m ’s a ic r f in South A i r a f a s o t g in From sky-div

ANGLO PACIFIC SHIPPING & TAX 30th Anniversary OVER 500,000 SATISFIED CUSTOMERS HAVE ALREADY TRUSTED THEIR POSSESSIONS TO ANGLO PACIFIC, LONDON’S LEADING SHIPPERS EXCESS BAGGAGE > Free supply of tea cartons and bubble > Free delivery/collection within M25 > By sea/air/road worldwide > Money Back Guarantee HOUSEHOLD REMOVALS > Free home survey, no obligation > Packed by skilled professionals > Shared or exclusive containers > Motor car/bike specialist shippers TAX REBATES > Average refund £963 secured last year > Online Tax Pack, only 10% commission MONEY TRANSFERS > Competitive exchange rates FINANCIAL PROTECTION > Bonded by the British Association of Removers > Bonded by the Association of Tax Agents > FIDI Accredited International Mover

www.anglopacific.co.uk SO BEFORE YOU CHECK OUT OF EUROPE CHECK OUT ANGLO PACIFIC

FREEPHONE 0800 085 0355 Anglo Pacific International Plc, 5/9 Willen Field Road, Park Royal, London, NW10 7BQ Email: baggage@anglopacific.co.uk Hours: Mon-Fri 8.30am - 6.00pm Sat 9am-1pm

CAROL DRIVER EDITOR carol.driver@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER Drinking is officially going underground. Hidden dens inspired by the Prohibition – with passcodes and secret entrances – are spreading across London. Turn to P8 to find out if there’s one near you. Got the post longweekend blues? Then cheer yourself up by booking a trip somewhere special. Turn to P53 for 21 pages packed with tips and ideas, including our writer’s amazing experience in South Africa (P70). Enjoy!

THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY

4-5

LONDONNEWS

6

MY LONDON

12

COMPETITION

13

DRINK & EATS

14-15

@TNT

16

SPOTTED

17

LISTINGS SOUND

18-19

LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS

20-21

CHATROOM ZOE BIRKETT LONDON SCENE

28-29

SPARE TIME

30

LIFESTYLE

31-39

SHOPPING

31

HEALTH & BEAUTY

32-33

CAREERS

34-35 37

MONEY LIVING

38-39

NEWS & SPORT

40-51

TRAVEL

53-74

70

FEATURES SECRET BOOZING

8

Welcome to the underground world of the London speakeasy

BRING THE NOISE Ministry of Sound is celebrating 20 years of great music and clubnights

54

SHAREHOUSE DRAMAS

NEWS

55

Will your next housemate end up being a dream or an absolute nightmare?

56-57

38

58

THE WEIRD ONES

HOTSHOTS

59

TOP FIVE

60

Meet the Republican candidates vying for their party’s US presidential nomination

LATE DEALS

TIPS & STUFF

62-63

SHORTBREAK

64-66

48 HOURS IN... GOWER

68-69

CLASSIFIEDS

102-113

DESPERATELY SEEKING

114

38

22

DIARY UK TRIP

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty

27

DIVE RIGHT IN

44

64

Explore the pristine blue waters of Dahab as you dive off the coast of Egypt

CAPE CRUSADE

70

Get your adrenaline on in South Africa’s beautiful Mother City, Cape Town

22 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Travel Janine Kelso Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent

LONDONDIARY

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Animal attraction: Bertie Crisp

DESIGN AND PRODUCTION Head of design and production Jon Cooke Graphic design manager Astrid Breacker Design and production executive Justine Mackay Picture researcher Laila Pacheco DIGITAL & IT Head of digital marketing and development Syed Ahmad IT manager Stephen Dann SALES Commercial director David Alstin Sales manager Jaqui Ward Classified Ad Manager Matt Syder Sales executives Tyler Harrison | Eddie Clinton | Donovan Smith | Michael Fair | Sandra Parr Sales administrator Abby Nightingale MARKETING & EVENTS Marketing and events assistant Phoebe Cherrill ACCOUNTS Finance director Nick Crampton Accounts Margaret Roberts

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AT THE BARBICAN CENTRE

There are 280 animated films from 30 different countries being shown at this year’s festival, which is based at the Barbican Centre but extends to the Horse Hospital in Russell Square and the Rio Cinema in Dalston. There are some fantastic entries, showcasing a range of different styles, and the fact the festival attracts films from throughout the world ensures some offerings are truly offbeat. Check out Bertie Crisp, the short story of a half-bear, half-panda who lives in a caravan park with his wife, Grace, who is a rabbit. Truly bizarre. £11

Until September 4 Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS

liaf.org.uk

Barbican

POKER IN THE PARK

VISION SOUND MUSIC FESTIVAL

IGNITE 2011

It sure makes a nice change from playing poker on your laptop in your dingy bedroom or in your mate’s smoky, pizza-strewn living room. Instead, this poker festival lures card sharks into the sunshine, offering live music and comedy as well as a chance to play some cards. Don’t forget to bring your lucky poker visor.

There’s interactive art, animation workshops and stacks of performances at this festival celebrating the role of music in visual culture, whether it be films or video games. You can explore the use of music in horror films or listen to a full orchestra reprise famous themes from video games.

A must for film buffs, audiophiles and game geeks.

Returning for its fourth year, this arts festival is curated by film director Mike Figgis and brings together myriad installations, discussions, peformances and interviews.

It’s all very high-minded, taking the pulse of popular culture, but if you get bored, you can always enjoy the spectacular surrounds of the Opera House.

September 2-3 Hanover Square, London, W1S 1JU pokerinthepark.com Oxford Circus

September 2-4 Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX visionsoundmusic. com Waterloo

September 2-4 Royal Opera House, Bow St, WC2E 9DD roh.org.uk/ deloitteignite Covent Garden

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Dep. 23-26 Sep 2011

Dep. 23-26 Sep 2011

Last year, more than 90,000 people showed up at Gunnersbury Park for this subcontinental festival that celebrates the region’s food, music and culture. It’s a sprawling event, with all the colour and chaos of a Bollywood epic. And you can guarantee that you won’t go hungry – there are 25 different food outlets cooking up on-site.

FREE

September 4 Gunnersbury Park, Pope’s Lane, W5 4NX

Acton Town

RUBY WAX: LOSING IT

LONDON MAYOR’S SKY RIDE

Ruby Wax was one of the biggest names in British comedy in the Eighties, her razor-sharp wit and wry observations making her a star. Now, Wax has returned with a confronting show about her own mental illness.

It doesn’t sound a barrel of laughs, but awkward moments are interspersed with comic gold.

Central London will be closed off to motorised traffic, allowing cyclists, experienced or otherwise, to take over the city for a day. The route takes in plenty of London’s best sites and landmarks – it’s a wonderfully laidback way to see the capital, much of which can be overlooked when you’re stuck on the Tube or dodging traffic.

Until Oct 31 Duchess Theatre, Catherine St, WC2B 5LA nimaxtheatres.com Covent Garden

September 4 Anywhere on the route, but headquarters at St James’s Park, goskyride.com St James’s Park

£28

Photos: TNT; Getty

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STEINMEISTER CAMPING

Make your own way to Munich

Return coach from London!

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New bookings only. Subject to availability. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Only valid for Topdeck’s Oktoberfest camping trips (HTBCO, HTBC5, HTBC6 or HTBC7) departing on or after 22 September 2011. Not valid for extended trips in Europe, Egypt, Morocco, Africa, Middle East, Australia, New Zealand, other Festivals or short breaks.

LONDONNEWS FARE DODGERS TO FACE £80 FINES Penalties for fare evasion on Tubes and buses could rise from £50 to £80 under plans being considered by the mayor.

Boris Johnson is seeking views on the proposal, aiming to introduce the higher fines from January 2. Fare dodging across all TfL services increased to a three-year high of £63m in 2010. Officials blame the economic downturn, as well as rising passenger numbers on buses. Caroline Pidgeon, Lib Dem chairman of the London Assembly transport committee, said: “That fare evasion, especially on buses, increased in 2010 under Boris Johnson is shameful.”

“Guest Appearance in Woolwich today. Wonder if it has changed. Mental note, make sure wallet is not visible.”

What Neil McCollum, in charge of tourism for the area, tweeted before visiting the town

PARALYMPICS TIX TO USE OLYMPIC MODEL Tickets for the Paralympics will go on sale using the same system that came under fire for Olympic passes. London 2012 chief executive, Paul Deighton, insisted lessons had been learned from the “disappointment with Olympic sales” but the “ballot was a fair way to do it” for the 1.5million Paralympic tickets. Applications will be open for three weeks from 9am on September 9, with prices starting at £10 for adults. See tickets.london2012.com

ON THE TUBE

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Bike babes: Brook and Johnson

Kelly’s Sky Ride drive

Model teams up with mayor to get more workers riding bikes Kelly Brook proved five-inch heels and a mini-dress are suitable attire for bike riding, as she launched the London mayor’s cycling scheme.

Boris Johnson – dressed a little more conservatively – joined the model to unveil details of Sky Ride, which aims to increase the number of workers pedalling to the office. The event, on Sunday, September 4, will promote a 7.2-mile city centre route which will be closed to traffic.

In 2010, more than 80,000 took part in Sky Ride, which aims to encourage a “cycling revolution”. This year’s route will take in the sights of St James’s Park, Buckingham Palace, The Tower of London and London Bridge.

Before heading to the event on Thursday,

Brook tweeted Johnson: “Looking forward to seeing you Thursday!! What are you wearing???? lol.” On the day, she added: “It’s such a fantastic way to get out on your bike and enjoy the sights of the capital in your own time, with friends or family.”

Johnson added: “I urge people to dust off their saddles for this free and familyfriendly event to enjoy whizzing through the city on traffic-free roads.

“This is a key part of my cycling revolution which aims to make London a cycle-friendly city, encouraging more and more people that pedal power is the way forward.”

To sign up for the event, which takes place between 9.30am-4.30pm, visit goskyride.com/London

THIS WEEK IN LONDON...

THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES

CIRCLE: No service all weekend.

DISTRICT: No service between Embankment and East Ham and no service between High Street Kensington and Edgware Road all weekend.

HAMMERSMITH & CITY: No weekend service between Royal Oak and Barking.

METROPOLITAN: No weekend service between Harrow-on-the-Hill and Aldgate.

JUBILEE: Suspended between Stanmore

6

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Controversial: EDL

Photos: Getty

and West Hampstead all weekend. Rail replacement buses operate.

A decision is due to be made about whether the controversial English Defence League will be allowed to march across London on Saturday, spreading an “anti-Islam” message.

Scotland Yard has asked the home secretary to ban the demonstration, which would pass through five London boroughs, including Tower Hamlets, for 30 days amid fears of violence and disorder.

Theresa May will make a decision after receiving the request from acting commissioner Tim Godwin.

The Home Office said May “will carefully consider any application from the commissioner to ban marches, according to the relevant legal tests”.

Drinking den: The Mayor Of Scaredy Cat Town

Secret boozing A network of little-known drinking dens, harking back to the era of the prohibition, are spreading beneath our bustling streets WORDS REBECCA KENT

I ask a staff member at the Breakfast Club in Spitalfields to ‘see the mayor’ and, with a wink and a nod, I’m directed to a retro Smeg fridge. I walk past a few smoothie- and latte-drinking diners and pull open its door. Behind it – giving a new meaning to the phrase ‘chilling out’ – is a hidden staircase, the entrance to The Mayor Of Scaredy Cat Town, one of London’s newer, and more accessible, speakeasies.

Last seen during the American Prohibition era – that Noble Experiment of the Twenties – when a ban on alcohol stimulated a spread of illegal drinking dens. This type of venue is back in 2011, part of an underground movement in England’s capital.

Speakeasies are, in theory anyway, cloak-and-dagger establishments offering the thirsty a drinking spot with a difference, where only a password, or some other suitably clandestine arrangement, will gain you entry.

Some don’t even have names and don’t want to be found – many have indistinguishable doorways with just a lantern to signal their presence. They have cocktail menus hidden in books and drinks served in teacups.

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Though the term ‘speakeasy’ is redundant now, because alcohol is legal, the clandestine element still excites.

The Mayor of Scaredy Cat Town is a quirky, intimate cocktail bar clad in exposed brick and wood, with moose heads on the wall and disco balls dangling from the ceiling.

The staff are all incredibly chilled out and that attitude runs throughout the establishment, helped by soulful, uplifting music.

Ian Kane, the venue’s bar manager, says: “Basically you all have the privilege of being in the know and the whole idea of it is quite exciting.

“You will have cafe that is heaving, full of people eating breakfast, then all of a sudden the fridge door opens and people walk straight through it. Diners can hardly believe what they’ve seeing.

“Downstairs, people are sipping our ‘canary marys’, or other signature cocktails, but, if you didn’t know the bar existed, you wouldn’t have a hunch.”

The Mayor Of Scaredy Cat Town is inspired by a venue in East Village, New York, called PDT, or Please Don’t

Tell. It’s the ultimate in speakeasy mystification, where patrons have to enter through Crif Dogs, the hip hotdog place, then step into a phone booth and identify themselves by speaking into the receiver. A buzzer opens a secret door, revealing a strange, twilight world of artisanal cocktails and taxidermy animals.

It’s slightly more relaxed in London, where patrons are reminded that they’re in Scaredy Cat Town, not Cool Cats Town, and as such the highest standards of self-depreciation are expected. This fun attitude extends especially to how visitors to Scaredycat Town exit.

“Leave by the door on the left at the top of the stairs and through the toilets,” the menu advises. ”Act nonchalantly, as if you’ve just had a pee. Gentlemen … leave your fly down to add to the charade. Ladies, if you’d leave your skirt in your knickers, it would be greatly appreciated.” ›› MORE LONDON SPEAKEASIES The Mayor Of Scaredy Cat Town The Smeg fridge, 12-16 Artillery Lane, E1 7LS Liverpool Street themayorofscaredycattown.com

Basic: The Mayor ... bar harks back to the Twenties

Indulge: sip cocktails made with unusual ingredients

Unique entrance: the Smeg fridge TNTMAGAZINE.COM

9

69 COLEBROOKE ROW ISLINGTON

PURL MARYLEBONE

Sometimes referred to as The Bar With No Name, this intimate venue is owned by mixologist Tony Conigliaro and publican Camille Hobby-Limon. There’s a laboratory upstairs where some of the base alcohols for the bewildering list of cocktails – including a dry ice Hemmingway Daiquiri – are created. First time? Look for the lantern above the door and use the buzzer for entry.

On busier nights, the bar spills out into a street party.

Awesome.

Describing itself as a ‘confused combination of Charles Dickens’s imagination, a prohibition speakeasy and bizarre laboratory of mad drinks’, this is Twenties-revival London at its best. While away the evening in this simple bar in the basement of a Georgian house, as you delve into the range of colourful and thoughtprovoking drinks. Sup a Mr Hyde’s No 2 – a devilish elixir of Ron Zacapa 23, homemade cola & chocolate bitters (£10) – or book to learn how to hone your own cocktail-making skills at the establishment’s trendy masterclass.

Sun-Wed, 5pm-12am; Thur, 5pm1am; Fri-Sat, 5pm-2am 69 Colebrooke Row, N1 8AA 69colebrookerow.com Angel

NIGHTJAR SHOREDITCH This stylish east London speakeasy places a strong emphasis on live music with jazz, swing and cabaret. It harks back to an era when all drinkers were connoisseurs – and all its tipples are made with homemade liquor. It’s described as ‘discrete but not exclusive’, which is clearly a big draw for an increasing number of sophisticated revellers, as you’re recommended to book instead of turning up. Cocktails are priced from £8.50.

Tue, Wed & Sun, 6pm-1.30am; Thur-Sat, 6pm-3.30am 129 City Road, EC1V 1JB barnightjar.com Old Street

Mon-Thur, 5-11.30pm; Fri-Sat, 5pm-midnight 50 Blandford Street, W1U 7HX purl-london.com Bond St

OFF BROADWAY BETHNAL GREEN This family run venue has seen some changes. Since 1987, it’s been a print store, a photo-framing business and a fine-art gallery. Now, you can sit back and drink in style in this speakeasy, which also hosts film screenings.

BOURNE & HOLLINGSWORTH FITZROVIA Don’t expect plush surroundings – once you navigate the rickety stairs, you’ll walk into something that looks like your granny’s lounge. Drink cocktails from china cups next to the frilly lampshades.

Mon-Thur, 5pm-midnight; Fri-Sat, 5pm-12.30am 28 Rathbone Place, W1T 1JF bourneandhollingsworth.com Tottenham Court Road

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Mon-Fri 4am-12am; Sat-Sun 10am-12am 63-65 Broadway Mkt, E8 4PH offbroadway.org.uk Bethnal Green

JUBJUB AT CALLOOH CALLAY SHOREDITCH This is a members’ only bar, but don’t let that put you off. There’s no fee to join – you just need to prove your love of drinks to the satisfaction of the team. You’ll be awarded a membership key once you’re approved and then you’re free to enjoy the quirky events on offer. There’s a different cocktail list each week – last week it was breakfast in the evening – and drinks are mixed by expert bartenders. Find the hidden staircase to get here.

Thursday to Saturday only 65 Rivington Street, EC2A 3AY calloohcallaybar.com Old Street

NEW EVARISTO CLUB SOHO Sunk beneath busy Greek Street, there’s a dodgylooking doorway through which you enter this exclusive venue. Inside is a small bar, an exclusive vibe and a refreshing drinks list.

Mon-Sun, 5.30pm-1am 57 Greek Street, W1D 3DX Piccadilly Circus

LOUNGE BOHEMIA SHOREDITCH Mysterious and – as the name suggests – distinctly bohemian, visit this bar’s website, and all you’re greeted with is an address. Find it in between a kebab shop and a newsagent. Inside, it’s uncrowded and relaxed – don’t turn up in a suit and a tie; not only is it not that sort of vibe, but there’s a rule against it. Expect Sixties decor with communist wallpaper and a menu of Eastern European cocktails, costing from just £5.

Colourful drinks are served in old Bibles, Czech novels, test tubes and tea pots. But book in advance.

Mon-Sat, 6pm-12am; Sun, 6-11pm 1E Great Eastern St, EC2A 3EJ loungebohemia.com Liverpool St

WORSHIP STREET WHISTLING SHOP SHOREDITCH

EXPERIMENTAL COCKTAIL CLUB CHINA TOWN Its speakeasy-style entrance – a dodgy black door – belies a fancy little French establishment that is the London outpost of Paris’s ECC. It’s colonial and cosy with plush furniture and a whole lot of style. Half of its capacity is for walk-in clients, so it’s not essential to book ahead.

Mon-Sat, 6pm-3am; Sun, 5-11pm 3A Gerrard Street, W1D 5PS experimentalcocktailclublondon.com Leicester Square

This new drinking hole combines the charm of Victorian squallor with the elegance of grand gin palaces. It harks back to life before the prohibition of the Twenties, and instead focuses on the Victorian era. The venue serves food inspired by the 19thcentury tea rooms and supper houses – try the meat mosaic with pickled mushrooms and toasted sourdough (£9.50). Celebrate in historic style with The History Of Rum, boasting a ‘multi-sensory cocktail journey’ on Sept 15.

Mon-Sat, ‘lunchtime ‘til late’ 63 Worship St, EC2A 2DU whistlingshop.com Old Street

VOGUE FABRICS DALSTON This is a secret club – which is a fashion design studio by day – where you can go and sweat the night away dancing to dirty dub. Leave the heels at home – this isn’t the place to be if you want cocktails and chandeliers.

Various nights 66 Stoke Newington Rd, N16 7XB voguefabricsdalston.com Stoke Newington

Photos: TNT

POSITIVELY 4TH STREET EUSTON

BARTS CHELSEA

Take a trip back to Thirties America at this speakeasy, which is heavily influenced

by Art Deco fused with Japanese culture. There’s a 35ft bar against a backdrop of 1920s-style mirrors.

Enter this ‘worst-kept secret’ at the back of a 1930s residential building where there’s nothing but a black door and a lantern. Ring the doorbell to be let in.

Mon-Thur, ‘til 11pm; Fri-Sat, ‘til 1am. Also open Sun 119 Hampstead Rd, NW1 3EE positively4thstreet.co.uk Warren Street

Mon-Thur, 6pm-12.30am; Fri-Sat, 6pm-1.30am; Sun, 6-11pm Chelsea Cloisters, Sloane Avenue, SW3 3DW bartslondon.com South Kensington

THE BLIND TIGER BATTERSEA Giving a ‘gentle nod’ to the Roaring Twenties, this venue focuses on the art of recreating forgotten drink recipes using exceptional ingredients. Enjoy the decadence and the romance of a bygone era with an a la carte culinary experience, or the Martini and Tea Party menu, on Sundays. Expect intriguing drink recipes and an underground vibe. After making a reservation via the website, you’ll be emailed a passcode.

Open Sun-Thur 697 Wandsworth Road, SW8 3JF blindtigerlondon.co.uk Clapham Common

THE BATHHOUSE LIVERPOOL STREET Indulgence is the order of the evening at this surviving treasure from Victorian east London. Beneath the bustling streets, descend a hidden staircase until a cavernous space opens.

It’s a bar, a restaurant and a ‘decadent step back in time’. Enjoy two-for-one cocktails – including its signature Indian Empress (gin, champagne and lemon; £10.50) – every Thurs and Fri between 5pm-7pm, Cafe: Mon-Fri, 8.30am-4pm. Bar: Thurs, 5pm ‘til late; Fri, 5pm-4am; Sat, 8pm-4am.

7-8 Bishopsgate Chrchyrd, EC2M 3TJ thebathhousevenue. com Liverpool St

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FLIGHTS • TOURS • HOLIDAYS • ACCOMMODATION

MYLONDON

SUN • SNOW • ADVENTURE in association with

FREE Y ENgTisR tering

by re £2 entry online / oor d e th on

NICKY HAMBLETON-JONES THE MAKEOVER QUEEN What baffles me about London is that we constantly seem to be digging up the streets. Get it done and move on people!

London’s best-kept secret is Nightjar in Old Street – it’s a really cool place to go if you want to impress someone. The first time I went there I almost walked straight past as it’s hidden underground behind huge wooden doors.

The cocktails are all delicious and so gorgeously presented.

When I want to chill out I always head to Columbia Road Flower Market, which is brimming with vibrant colours and fragrances. This is the place to go to unwind and is so uplifting on a dreary day in London. I always make time to stop and chat to the stall holders as well.

The most interesting person I’ve met is Vivienne Westwood. Totally batty and unique, she lives, breathes and exudes the creative energy that’s so reminiscent of London life.

My favourite place for a drink is The Bar at the Courthouse Hotel in Regent Street – it’s the perfect place to meet the girls for a chat. You can rent out individual ‘jail cells’, which is such great fun for special occasions.

For when I’m hungover in London, Jack’s in Lavender Hill does the best French toast I have ever tasted. I order mine with lashings of maple syrup and huge cup of coffee – while hiding behind my blacked-out ‘Jackie O’ sunglasses.

FAST PASS UPGRADE TICKET FOR £5 - SEE WEBSITE

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15

9.30am – 5pm London’s Best Sun and Snow Travel Show

What gets me up in the morning? My one-year-old son, Ben. My perfect weekend would involve rounding up my friends and family together for a big feast and lots of music. You just can’t beat a huge picnic in the middle of Battersea Park – if the weather’s good.

The last naughty thing I did was convince my PR to come along for a sangria at Lola Rojo after a five-hour-long photoshoot. It was a sunny afternoon and one glass turned into a jug ... need I say more?

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Ë Show Bar Ë A variety of

Discounts ËLucky Dip and other competitions

entertainment Ë Co-located Recruitment Fair

QE II Centre St James Park & Westminster

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Five words that sum up London ... Chic, edgy, multi-cultural, inspiring, opportunistic.

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VOTE FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN AN IPAD The inaugural UK version of the highly successful gala awards dinner and presentation night held in Sydney, Australia, has finally arrived.

More than 35 companies who work hard to make backpacking around the UK & Europe that extra bit special have been nominated via thousands of votes cast at TNT’s March Travel Show 2011.

Now, the winners will be decided by those who vote during a two-month online campaign. Voting is underway, so get clicking now for your favorites and be in with a chance to win an iPad! Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions

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LONDONDRINKS

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VOC: seventeenth century boozer

BAR THE SCENE Inspired by the Dutch East India Company, VOC is a modern twist on a 17th-century punch house. Candles and lanterns dimly light the exposed brick walls that are punctuated with old maps and big warehouse-style windows, while punters sit on deep sofas and bar stools as modern folk and indie music plays (over a backing track of seagulls).

THE GRUB Basic bar snacks like bruschetta, olives and anchovies on toast.

BEHIND THE BAR You’ll find no Mojitos here – drinks are best described as 21stcentury molecular mixology meets ingredients traded more than 300 years ago.

Staring down at you from behind the wooden bar are corked clear-glass bottles filled with spirits, and barrels of ageing speciality punches. We start with a Dog’s Nose, made with Tanqueray, fresh horseradish, apple porter, citrus, spices, vanilla sugar and honey. Served warm, it’s like mulled wine with a bit more venom. Next on to the more decadent Improved Admiral Flip – a wintery mix of champagne, syrupy apricot brandy, cognac and flaky chocolate bitters.

BILL PLEASE Cocktails and punch cost from ÂŁ7.50.

VERDICT It’s worth it for the novelty value and brilliantly composed cocktails, but the theme makes it an odd place for a regular hangout. CLARE VOOGHT

2 Varnishers Yard, Regents Quarter, N1 9AW

3 OF THE BEST

King’s Cross St Pancras

GENTLEMAN’S TEA AT THE SANCTUM

THE G&TEA TIFFIN AT THE LANGHAM

THE BURLESQUE TEA AT VOLUPTE

Instead of twee little cakes, you’ll be served beef and yorkshire puddings with Bloody Mary oysters – washed down with Jack Daniels from a silver tankard and topped off with a cigar.

Tea and Beefeater gin are fused together to make cocktails and dishes including salmon cured with gin; scones with juniper spiced chutney; and an alcoholic tea crème brÝlÊe.

Eat smoked salmon and cucumber sandwiches followed by freshly baked scones with clotted cream and strawberry confit – while a feather-clad lady does hoop tricks above you.

sanctumsoho.com

london.langhamhotels.co.uk

%X\ JHW )5((

ith Served awnd chips yle Spur-st r a gs o onion ripnotato or baked salad. side

Offer not valid with any other promotion or special.

Bring in voucher to receive this special. Terms and conditions apply. Valid until 31 August 2011. The least expensive combo meal is free.

&KH\HQQH 6SXU 02 Dome, North Greenwich. Tel: 020 8858 0196 0RKDZN 6SXU Southside Shopping Centre, Wandsworth. Tel: 0208 874 0831

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%X\ DQ\ &20%2 0($/ DQG JHW RQH )5(( HYHU\ 7XHVGD\ QLJKW

5588S

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ALTERNATIVE AFTERNOON TEAS

voc-london.co.uk

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BITE SIZE

Good burritos in a no-nonsense setting

WORLD’S FIRST GAY ICE-CREAM BAR OPENS A strictly over 18s ice-cream bar has popped up in Covent Garden.

Queens of the Dessert, the world’s first gay parlour, sells “ice-cream by queens for queens” with flavours such as Whorenetto and Brokeback Mountain.

It also offers alcoholic drinks plus you can enjoy massages and ice-cream facials. Open until September 30. theicecreamists.com

BUBBLES AND OYSTERS Treat yourself to some affordable oysters at The Botanist’s pop-up bar in Sloane Square from 16-18 September.

At £2 per oyster or £9.50 for six, a visit to the Oyster And Chapel Down shop won’t strain your pockets. Also on the menu are poached langoustines served with lemon and mayo, whole Dorset crab and Chapel Down Vintage Reserve Brut at £6 a glass.

Soundtracked by daily saxophone performances. thebotanistonsloanesquare.com

Photos: TNT

GET PASTY WITH JAMIE Need a good cheat to impress mates with your culinary skills? Jamie Oliver’s new olive paste – made with Taggiasca olives from the coastal valleys of the north-western Italian province of LIguria – has just won a three-star Gold Great Taste Award. Serve on grilled fish, lamb chops or in a sandwich of ripe red tomatoes priced from £3.50. jamieoliver.com

CHILANGO MEXICAN THE SCENE From Thomasina Miers’ Wahaca chain to Victoria’s Picante, Mexican restaurants have been popping up like mushrooms all over London in recent years. This Chancery Lane foodhouse is the latest addition to Chilango’s band of Mexican eateries, which promises good quality burritos and tacos with a quick turnaround. Despite nods to Mexican culture, including the garish paintwork and the obligatory Virgin Mary shrine, the decor is somewhat industrial with drab formica tables and stools. Even with piped world music, the place lacks atmosphere, but then Chilango resides at the fast-food end of the spectrum, and we are here for the food after all.

THE GRUB We start with tortilla chips and salsa/guacamole. The salsa asada is adequately smoky but the guacamole isn’t tangy enough. For the main I plump for the beef burrito with freshly grilled steak and all the trimmings (beans, coriander, lime rice, guacamole, cheese, lettuce). The meat is tender but given it has been grilled with Chilango’s “secret chilli blend” could have been spicier.

There is no choice other than to have it cooked “medium”, which is disappointing.

My friend chooses the vegetarian burrito with grilled peppers, pinto beans, caramelised onion, along with the usual fillings, and reports that it is delicious.

Sadly there is no dessert – surely some churros isn’t too much to expect, even in a no-frills place like this?

The choice of alcohol is restricted to Corona and Negra Modelo.

There’s also Agua Fresca, a traditional Mexican fruit cooler and fresh juices.

BILL PLEASE Tortilla chips and salsa/guacamole from £2.80; burritos from £4.90 (without guacamole). Corona £3.40; Negra Modelo £3.80. Juices from £2.50.

VERDICT I wouldn’t cross town to eat here, and I’ve had better Mexican elsewhere, but I if I worked locally I would surely drop in for a cheeky burrito. ALISON GRINTER BEHIND THE BAR

76 Chancery Lane, WC2A 1AA

chilango.co.uk

Chancery Lane

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LETTER OF THE WEEK

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BBC News: “Amy Winehouse blood toxicity report comes back clear” Same colour as vodka, Bacardi, tequilla, etc

Lisa I bought a bike off Steve Jobs but it’s melted.

Must’ve been an iCycle.

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Friends and exs shouldn’t be in touch according to Sky News, Libya’s Gadaffi may have slipped into Jordan ... well, Who hasn’t?

Sarah H Newstead I nvr listen to my lmfao album in track order.

Everyday im shuffling.

Joshua P The doctor told me that my eight year old son was autistic ... personally i think his drawings are shit.

Luciana To the guy with shades on on the cntral line - ur undrgrnd, douche

Dan the Man Who honestly really cares about Steve Jobs resigning, I mean what the fuck has he ever done for me?!

Peter Wayne rooney’s new hairdo looks cool. gonna get me some new plugs

Manc Daily Mail: Gadaffi has 1million quid bounty on his head. Damn .... That’s an awful lot of chocolate and coconut

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Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138

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EMAIL YOUR THOUGHTS TO LETTERS@TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Reading about the Museum of Broken Relationships (TNT 1460), I would contribute the harrowing series of texts between my best friend and ex – three months after the break-up!

Lesson: don’t let b/fs and friends have each other’s numbers! I’d also include excerpts from the play me and another ex were acting in, where the playwright cleverly exposed my boyfriend as a sex addict. I could do a whole exhibition myself!

Ewa Marks, via email

NAKED CHEF If Nigella Lawson was my neighbour and getting naked, I’d be waiting for that very moment! Why would I spoil the fun by telling the media?

I can’t see my neighbours but if I could, I’d watch.

I’m a pervert.

Clint Heine, via email

MISSED STOPS The news that London men miss their Tube stops because they’re looking at girls gave me an idea for a new iPhone app: Wake Me Up When My Stop Comes!

However, if it was based on a timer, knowing London’s always-delayed Tube system, we could wake up in a whole new world.

Alberto Cedro, via email

ALL FIRED UP If I had some sort of ailment that meant I could not function in society without the use of a medication to get my head straight, you’d be damned if I could just stand there in the middle

of the street and administer it to myself as the people of London walked by.

Why, then, is it considered acceptable for the many neurotics who walk around this city to administer their nicotine in such a vile way as inhaling its burning leaves?

The next one who blows that shit on me is going to get a right gobful.

Sebastian, via email

POOR RICHARD I feel for Richard Branson over the loss of his house in the Bahamas. It’s not nice to have any type of loss in one’s life, whether you’re rich or poor! But if the private island and the beautiful house belonged to say Adolf Hitler, Gaddafi or some other such bastard, well then I wouldn’t have given a fuck that the house got burnt like a rack of pork ribs from ya local Chinese takeaway.

Christian S Simpson, via email TRAVEL JOBS CAPE TOWN /70

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YOUR TWEETS Tweet us @tntmagazine @holliefernando: Festival tip: Take a wee-wee bucket! for night-time when the thought of portaloos will make you cry. @rainb0ws: festival tip: take six eggs, tin of beans&sausages n a gas stove - perfect breakfast :) @TopdeckTravel: Jerry Leiber - rest in peace dude - so many classic songs

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Kate Macgregor: there has been a lot of desk lunches this Summer due to the lack of sunshine!!

Today however I shall be out in the park for a well deserved extended lunch break!!

Rusty Goodall: I think we should look up to Richard Branson, he’s worked hard, so what if he owns a private island?

Marius Andrici: I was saying to myself many times this, central line has the best looking girls :)

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GIGALUM Clapham London Sunday, August 21 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/ TNT Images

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LONDONSOUND

ALISON GRINTER ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Real life often serves up better soap operas than TV – give me the House of Windsor’s antics over EastEnders any day. Case in point is the ongoing Noel vs Liam saga – a spat that almost matches Cain and Abel’s for sibling rivalry. In the latest episode, Noel ‘fessed up that he lied about the reason Liam cancelled what would have been Oasis’s final gig, at V Festival in 2009. He originally claimed Liam had a hangover but admitted this week: “It is a fact he was diagnosed with laryngitis and it is a fact that he had a doctor’s note to prove it.”

He even apologised to Liam for causing offence. So what’s behind Noel’s sudden volte-face? Has he realised he can’t live without his baby bruv after all? Nup, he was merely responding to Liam’s threat of a lawsuit over the hangover “lie”.

Honestly, you couldn’t make this shit up.

Let me know your views alison.grinter@tntmagazine.com

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PAUL KELLY Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Road, W12 7LJ AUG 30-SEP 2 | DOORS AT 7PM | £15 (single day tickets) £42 (four-day ticket)

Described by the legendary Rolling Stone journalist David Fricke as “one of the finest songwriters I have ever heard, Australian or otherwise,” Paul Kelly has built a formidable music career and back catalogue on his inimitable storytelling style.

Born in Adelaide in 1955, he originally fancied himself as a short-story writer, despite struggling with English at school, but channelled his talent for creating compelling characters and narrative into his folk songs instead.

In 1986, he made an indelible mark in Australia with instant classic Gossip, released with his band, The Coloured Girls – a reference from Lou Reed’s Walk On The Wild Side – which spawned hit singles Darling It Hurts and Before Too Long.

Kelly then followed up, in quick succession, with LPs Under The Sun, So Much Water So Close to Home and Comedy, earning himself a place in the pantheon of Aussie music greats and comparisons to Ray Davies and Bruce Springsteen.

This week offers up a rare treat: the vocalist/guitarist/ harmonica-player will play an unusual four-night residency at Bush Hall. Starting on Tuesday, he will perform 100 songs from his back catalogue in alphabetical order – with no repetition. While 25 songs a night sounds like a lot, it represents a mere snapshot of Kelly’s prolificacy – he claims to complete 12 songs a year. The gigs coincide with the release of his eight-CD box set, The A-Z Recordings, a comprehensive, retrospective of his brilliant career. bushhallmusic.co.uk

Shepherd’s Bush

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NEW ARTIST

JANE’S ADDICTION GIG TUE, AUG 30. 7PM £30

In a recent interview, erstwhile Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl reminded us of Jane’s Addiction’s influence on the nascent, pre-Nevermind grunge scene by thanking lead singer Perry Farrell (pictured) “for changing music forever.” The seminal rockers will be plugging new album The Great Escape Artist this week.

Photos: Martin Philbey

Koko 1a Camden High St, NW1 7JE koko.uk.com Mornington Crescent

PLAY AT EGG PRESENT LOVE HATE

THE GALLERY PRESENTS NU BREED

CLUB

CLUB

FRI, SEP 2. 10PM-6AM £10

FRI, SEP 2. £13 adv

Directional superclub Play has always prided itself on serving up bleeding-edge dance acts from across the electro spectrum, and this week’s selection is no exception. East London disco crew Supercool in Room 1 goes head-tohead with Brighton bad boys Not Nice in Room 2 for an inner-city rave up.

The Gallery gave Tiesto and Armin Van Buuren their first ever London gigs, lest we forget, so the club’s Nu Breed night is designed in the spirit of discovering and showcasing fresh DJ talent.

Trance production duo Myon & Shane 54 will be making their presence felt along with hardhitting newcomer Jonas Stenberg.

Egg 200 York Way, N7 9AP egglondon.net King’s Cross

Ministry of Sound 103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP ministryofsound.com Elephant & Castle

WOODEN SHJIPS

CLUB DE FROMAGE: ROCK OF AGES

PULP

GIG

CLUB

GIG

SUN, SEP 4. £12.50

SAT, SEP 3. 10.30PM-3.30AM £6.50 adv

WED, AUG, 31. 7PM £27.50

San Francisco’s Wooden Shjips sound much like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – when they used to be good, that is. Founded by Ripley Johnson in 2003 as an experimental, not-for-profit collection of non-musicians, the band didn’t release their first album until 2007. Check out their garagepsych-drone rock at the Scala this week.

Break out your spandex because the fancy dress aficionados at Club de Fromage are putting on a night in support of the upcoming camp Broadway romp, Rock Of Ages – starring Shayne Ward. Expect plenty of fist pumping fun as Dave ‘Wildman’ Pickles of air guitar legends Lucifer’s Grandmother leads the power ballad action.

So seamlessly did Pulp fit back into the musical landscape with their reunion earlier this year that you’d be forgiven for thinking that Britpop was a recent phenomenon, not a genre birthed in the early Nineties. The Sheffield outfit have played some stunning festival sets this summer and surely won’t disappoint at Brixton this week.

Scala 275 Pentonville Road, N1 9NL scala-london.co.uk King’s Cross

Islington Academy N1 Centre, 16 Parkfield St, N1 0PS ClubDeFromage.com Angel

Brixton Academy 211 Stockwell Road, SW9 9SL o2academybrixton.co.uk Brixton

PENGUIN PRISON THE BUZZ SO FAR New York City’s honey-voiced Chris Glover is the newest kid on the disco-pop block.

Under the bizarre stage moniker of Penguin Prison he plies some of the most upbeat, hook-laden synth-pop heard on the airwaves since the 1980s. The remixer extraordinaire has already cooked up some delicious slices of intelligent dance pop in the form of singles MultiMillionaire and Golden Train, and his upcoming self-titled debut will only underline his feelgood cred.

THE CRITICS SAY “Think of Michael Jackson getting fired by Quincy Jones in 1979 and cheering himself by going into the Hit Factory with David Byrne to record Fear of Music.” Guardian.

THE PLUG Debut album Penguin Prison out Sep 5 through Stranger.

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CLUBLISTINGS MONDAY 29 Bank Holiday Special Simon Le Vans, Andy Almighty and Sean Sirrs play dance and house anthems. Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Kennington Ln, SE11 5HY (020 7820 1222). 2pm-midnight. £8.

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Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Commander B, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, funky house, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm, mems free.

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Choice FM Choice DJs Firin Squad, Woody, Eplus and 279 spin R‘n’B and carnival beats, plus live performances from Ms Dynamite, Gyptian, Bluey Robinson and Talay Riley. Proud 2 at The O2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 7482 3867).

10pm-5am. £15, adv £10.

Dubwise Young Warrior Sound System and King Alpha Sound System play dub. Mass, St Matthews Church, Brixton Hill, SW2 1JF (07879 630674). 9pm-5am. £15, adv £10.

Notting Hill Gate Carnival 2011 After Party Pete Mello, Rudy Ranx, SoFIREsoFINE and Marcia Carr spin retro soul, funk, house and disco.

William IV, Harrow Rd, NW10 5JX (0208 969 5944). 6pm-2am. £10.

Popcorn The 14th Birthday Part 2 DJs Terry Vietheer, Jonesey, Jamie Hammond, Harvey Adam and Terry T-Rex spin progressive house, pop, hip-hop and R‘n’B, plus a chill-out room. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8.

Tribe & Tambor Unite Stan Zeff, Tyrone Francis, Zepherin Saint, Matt L-S and Kristelle Morin provide deep house, Afro house and soulful house. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 5pm-2am. £8.

TUESDAY 30 Bootcamp Rob C and Scewpulous play techno and house. Eagle, Kennington Ln, SE11 5QY (020 7793 0903). 9pm-2am. £3, mems £2 before 10pm.

Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.

Latino Sound DJ Kirisis and CLI play R‘n’B, hip-hop and dance.

Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-late. £5-£10.

OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

Yoyo Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime, plus live music. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, £6 before 11pm, free before 8pm.

FRIDAY 2 XOYO 1ST BIRTHDAY XOYO. Sep 16-17. From £8.

The uber-cool Hoxton venue opens its door for two days of fun with Chicago house pioneer Mr Fingers, Manc producer Xxxy (pictured) and many more.

32-37 Cowper Street EC2A 4AP

WEDNESDAY 31 Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall.

Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/cc 020 7287 3727).

9pm-3am. £6, NUS £5, w/flyer £4.

Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.

Diffrent Strokes Manny Norte, Phatcatz, Maintain, CJ I DJ, Lonyo and MOBO Award winner and Kiss FM DJ Manny Norte play neo soul, 1980s pop, US house, funk and R‘n’B. Cherryjam, Porchester Rd, W2 6ET (020 7727 9950).

9pm-2am. £10, £5 before 11pm.

Guanabara Samba School Samba, Afrobeat, house and nu disco, plus Capoeira masterclasses, break dancers, Brazilian street food and cocktail making. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £5, free before 9pm.

Homework Alternative, electro and indie from the resident DJs. Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club, Pollard Row, E2 6NB (020 7739 2727). 7.30pm-late. £5.

N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2.

Tuesday DJs Elle Tiyo and James Crompton spin dance, pop, indie and urban. The Roadhouse, The Piazza, Covent Garden Market, WC2E 8HB (020 7379 6132).

5.30pm-3am. £5, free before 10pm.

Santa Clara Samba Night DJ D Vyzor spins Brazilian rhythms, plus live music from Rodrigo Lampreia and Beto Landau. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

7pm-2.30am. £5, free before 9pm.

White Heat DJs Matty, Olly and Marcus play electro and indie, plus Dutch Uncles and Cymbals perform live. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040).

8pm-3am. £6, adv £4 & £5.

Swerve Post Carnival Summer Sizzler DJs Fabio, LTJ Bukem and Tendai play drum ‘n’ bass, electro and house. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-3am. £7, NUS £5, NUS £3 before 11pm.

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Old St

Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop.

Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.

THURSDAY 1 Booster DJ Ferno, Sharon O’Love, Dan K, Fabio Luigi and Zack Hadley play house, tech-house and electro. Area, Albert Embankment, SE1 7HD (020 7091 0080).

9pm-3am. £7, concs £5.

C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm.

Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113).

10pm-6am. £15, concs £10.

Fish Dont Dance Dan McKie, Lloyd Chapman and resident DJs spin house and techno. The Russian Bar, Kingsland Rd, E2 8AS (07916 119541).

10pm-5am. £5, £3 before 2am.

Glitz & Glamour Dusty O and James Barr play house, R‘n’B and dance. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988).

10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm.

The Mink Revue Resident DJs play blues, R‘n’B, funk, swing and soul, plus live burlesque and cabaret performances. RS Lounge, Woodford New Rd, E17 3PR (020 8509 6450). 8.30pm-late. £8.

QueerlyOut DJ Robby D spins commercial dance, pop and R‘n’B. Escape Bar, Brewer St, W1F 0SU (020 7734 3040).

9pm-3am. £5, mems £3.

Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375).

8pm-midnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire.

Temptation Pop, R‘n’B, dance and cheese with resident DJs. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188).

10pm-3am. £15, £8 before 10pm, free before 8pm, guestlist £10.

Calentito Pop, R‘n’B, and soul.

Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm3am. £10, guestlist £5, free before 9pm.

Euphoria Angel Kiss, Oliver MARSH, Intro, Marc Phill, MEF and DJ AD play electro, house, techno, pop, dance and R‘n’B. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (0208 993 2915).

9pm-late. £10, ladies free before 11pm.

Fabriclive Erol Alkan, Switch, Canblaster, Filthy Dukes, Rory Phillips, The Lovely Jonjo spin house, dubstep and techno, with DJ sets from Jarvis Cocker and Gesaffelstein, plus Paul Chambers plays live. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898).

10pm-6am. £16, adv £20 inc CD, adv £15, NUS £10, £7 after 3am.

Infectious Grooves Dan Oatz, Mattman and James O’Callaghan spin house and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-midnight. Free.

Just Beats Matt Masters, Ossie Baba, DJ Petchy, DJ Apex, O.R.E and Sesame Pressure play house and funk. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

10pm-late. £15, adv £10.

Nu Breed Myon & Shane 54, Jonas Stenberg, Paul Webster, Ben Nicky, Rosie Romero and Miss Dix spin trance, house and techno. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £13.

Phenomenal Fridays Stevie C plays chart and pop on the ground floor, while Rob Clarke provides house in the basement, plus DJs supply R‘n’B in VIP. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188). 4pm-3.30am. £10, guestlist free before 11pm.

Quantum DJs Jacob Plant, Millions Like Us, Urban Knights, InContext, Broke DJs, Deep Focus and Alice Grace provide dubstep and drum ‘n’ bass.

Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730). 10pm-6am. £10.

White Light DJ Tobias plays indie, electro and pop, while DJ Ren Rox plays retro rock ‘n’ roll, soul, funk, surf and pop downstairs, plus live music from North Carolina-based trio Megafaun.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). 7.30pm-late. £8.

SATURDAY 3 The Blitz Party Vintage swing, jazz and blues from Ta Mere and Twin Tonic, plus a live swing band, cabaret acts and swing dancers, with a wartime glamour dress-code. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7724 1617). 9pm-2am. £15.

Circus Company Records Guillaume & The Coutu Dumonts spin house and techno, plus D’Julz, Seuil, Sety, Alex Jones and Cedric Maison play live. Cable, Bermondsey St, SE1 2EG (020 7403 7730).

10pm-6am. £15, adv/NUS £12.

Hybrid Soundsystem Dave Spoon, Sarah Holder, SugarShaker, Lizzie Curious and Anna Kiss play house, electro, tech-house and techno.

Jamm, Brixton Rd, SW9 6LH (020 7346 8920/cc 020 7274 5537).

10pm-6am. £12, adv £10.

Key Of Life Djuma Sound System, Mirko Loko, Alex Picone, Irtelli & Gus, Chloe Fontaine, Damion Burbank and Jewels Hartnell supply house, techno, tech-house and deep house. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111).

10pm-10am. £20, concs £15, adv £13.

Latin Passion Victor Hugo & The Mambo Boys and Jorge Andre play Latin beats. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm2am, last adm 1am. £10, £8 before 11pm, £4 before 9pm, £2 before 8pm.

Ride Filthy Few and Jay Karim spin electro, indie and hip-hop, plus live burlesque and cabaret acts. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £10.

Shake Disco and pop from DJ John Osbourne and Paul C in the main room, while DJ Milo plays party anthems in room two. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). 10pm-3.15am. £10, NUS/mems £8 before 11.30pm.

Too Damn Glam Diason, Damo, Bernie T, Sam Dungate and Colin Chiddle play house. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489).

11pm-late. £20, adv £15.

SUNDAY 4 Forro DJs spin Brazilian, samba, African and indigenous rhythms. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600).

5pm-late. £5, free before 8pm.

Gigalum Sunday Sessions Resident DJs play house, disco and electro.

Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.

In The Box DJs Enzo Gomes, Manjit, Clubholic, Kid K and Beppe Gallo play dance and electro.

Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 7pm-1am. £10, £5 before 9pm, ladies free before 9pm.

Orange The Oli, Paul Martin and The Sharp Boys spin house in room one, while Gonzola Rivas, David Jiminez and Hi Fi Sean provide techno and tech-house in room two. Fire, South Lambeth Rd, SW8 1UQ (020 7582 9890).

11pm-9am. £12, £10 before midnight, w/flyer £6 before midnight.

Photos: Getty

Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098).

10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3.

One Cloud Of The Roof Secret Diaries DJs and Liana spin ambient, electronica and tropical, plus live music from Dems, Shells, Drugg and Estress. The Queen Of Hoxton, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958). 8pm-midnight. £4.

xoyo.co.uk

Big Business R‘n’B, soul and funk from Big Business and Capricorn Sound. The Blagclub, Kensal Town, Kensal Rd, W10 5BN (020 7243 0123).

10pm-3am. £10, gents guestlist £8 before midnight, ladies £5.

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MONDAY 29

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The Average White Band Funk, R‘n’B, disco and pop by the veteran band now based in the USA. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £20.

Xtatic Soul and funk outfit fronted by Vanessa Haynes.

Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £12, free before 10pm.

Elephant Shelf Blues-rock by the London-based band. Colour House Theatre, Merton Abbey Mills, off Merantun Way, SW19 2RD (020 8542 5511). £10, adv/concs £8.

FRIDAY 2 The Coke Authority The London-based four-piece plays pop-rock. The Bowery, New Oxford St, WC1A 1EP (020 7580 3057/ cc 0844 477 1000). £8, adv £6.

Hell On Earth, Unearth, Evergreen Terrace, Bane, Nasty, Casey Jones Hardcore metal by the German band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £17.

Mike Heron Band, Trembling Bells Folk-rock by the veteran musician and ex member of The Incredible String Band. The Vortex Jazz Club, Dalston Culture House, Gillett St, N16 8JH (020 7254 4097). £15.

O.C.D. The Bolton-based band plays rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £6, adv £5.

Terry Reid Band, The Ronnie Scotts All Stars Blue-eyed soul and rock by the veteran singer.

Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £25-£42.50.

Paul Stacey Band With John Hogg Blues-rock from the guitarist and his group, performing with vocalist Hogg. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £8-£10.

TUESDAY 30 Dirty Fingernails, Jonny Cola And The A Grades, Pinky Piglets The band performs playful alt pop and rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £7, adv £5.

Edward Sharpe And The Magnetic Zeros The Californian collective plays jubilant indie-folk. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £16.

Shepherd’s Bush Empire. Friday, December 9. £15.

Only a year since they released their much-vaunted debut, on-trend NYC indie-popsters The Drums return to unveil second album Portamento.

W11 8QE o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk Shepherd’s Bush

WEDNESDAY 31 The Animals And Friends With Steve Cropper Original members of the Newcastle-based band play blues-rock with the American R‘n’B guitarist. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £24.

Creatures Of Love, More Diamonds, Fallulah The Londonbased experimental outfit plays a dark, dramatic blend of new wave, dream pop, electro and indie.

The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). £5, adv £4.

Dog State, Bleed To This, Saltlick The band plays swaggering, riff-laden hard rock. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £6, adv £5.

Electricity In Our Homes The London-based three-piece plays indie-tinged post-punk. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8, adv £6.

The Hot Seats Bluegrass, blues, country and Americana by the band from Richmond, Virginia.

The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

Paul Kelly Contemporary folk by the Australian singer-songwriter.

Bush Hall, Uxbridge Rd, W12 7LJ (020 8222 6955). £15, 4 day ticket £42.

Ocasan, Films Of Colour, Ian De Sylva Alt rock by the Northampton-based band.

93 Feet East, Brick Ln, E1 6RU (020 7770 6006). £7, adv £5.

Tiger Lilly, Lewis Clay, Gianluca De Martini Pop-rock by the London-based singer-songwriter.

Archangel, Kensington High St, W8 5NP (020 7938 4137). £8.

Buddy Whittington, Clare Free The Texan guitarist from John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers plays the blues. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £12.

Photos: Getty

THE DRUMS

Jane’s Addiction The American outfit plays alternative rock in support of its album The Great Escape Artist. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £29.50.

Other Lives, Daughter The Oklahoma-based outfit plays folk-rock. Hoxton Square Bar And Kitchen, Hoxton Sq, N1 6NU (020 7613 0709). £8.50.

Alma Zohar World folk by the Israeli-born singer-songwriter.

The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £15.

SATURDAY 3

White Denim, Royal Bangs Psychedelic indie-rock from the Texan four-piece. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £12.50.

Pulp Hopeful indie and sinister Britpop with wry humour from Jarvis Cocker and his Sheffieldformed outfit. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £27.50.

Jim Stapley Acoustic rock from the singer-songwriter.

100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £10, adv £8.

Sarabeth Tucek Americana and folk-rock by the New York-based singer-songwriter.

St Pancras Old Church, Euston Rd, NW1 2BA (020 7388 1461). £9.

Ultrasound, Hey Sholay, Bomb Factory Indie-rock by the Londonbased band. The Macbeth, Hoxton St, N1 6LP (020 7749 0600). £8.

The Vodka Martinis Soulful rock ‘n’ roll outfit. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £8, free before 10pm.

THURSDAY 1 Daniel, Julia Johnson The Londonbased singer-songwriter performs acoustica and pop-rock in support of his album Until The Morning Light. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £7.

Gordon Gano Alt folk-rock by the New York-based founder of the Violent Femmes. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £17.50.

James Hunter, The Ronnie Scotts All Stars The London-based guitarist and vocalist plays R‘n’B and soul. Ronnie Scott’s, Frith St, W1D 4HT (020 7439 0747). £15-£42.50.

Ispystrangers, Lecarla The band plays contemporary heavy rock.

The Barfly, Camden, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AN (0844 847 2424). £6.

Japanese Voyeurs, Bones, Whales In Cubicles Heavy rock from the London-based five-piece.

The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £6, adv £4.

Jeff Lang The Australia-based singer-songwriter and guitarist plays experimental blues and folkrock. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £15.

Mac Miller Rap by Malcolm McCormick from Pittsburgh. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £14.

Mary Pearce The London-based vocalist performs soulful R‘n’B. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £5-£20.

Tallulah Rendall London-based alt rock singer. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £10.

Two Spot Gobi The Brightonbased six-piece plays surf pop and alt soul. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £9.

Shimi Goodman Mainstream jazz and easy listening by the London-based singer and actor. The Pheasantry, Kings Rd, SW3 4UT (020 7351 5031). £20.

The Heartbreaks, Two Wounded Birds, Evans The Death The Manchester-based four-piece plays indie-punk. Nambucca, Holloway Rd, N7 6LB (020 7281 8877). £6.

Indian Ocean The Indian collective plays rock-influenced folk fusion. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£30.

Jaljala The collective performs music from the Middle East, North Africa & Europe. The Green Note Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 7485 9899). £10.

Anoushka Lucas, Matt Adey, Izo FitzRoy, RP, Kiki O’Connell Jazzy pop from the London-based singer-songwriter. The Troubadour, Old Brompton Rd, SW5 9JA (020 7370 1434). £8, £7 before 10pm.

Muck & The Mires, Vicars, MFC Chicken Garage-rock by the Boston-based band.

Fiddler’s Elbow, Malden Rd, NW5 3HS (020 7485 3269). £7, mems/concs £6.

James Murphy, Jam Factory Dance and house music by the LCD Soundsystem singer. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £13.

Opinaut, The Litfuses, Ant Roberts, Chantelle St Clair & German Alvarez The outfit plays experimental acoustic rock. Arch, Lendal Terrace, SW4 7UX (020 7720 7343). £6.

12 Dirty Bullets, Under The Influence Indie-rock by the London-based band. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/cc 0844 847 1678). £8.

Band Of Holy Joy The New Cross-formed outfit plays alternative acoustica and dark folk. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £10.

Jimmy Cliff The veteran singersongwriter, musician and actor plays his reggae and ska hits, including Sitting In Limbo, You Can Get It If You Really Want, I Can See Clearly Now and The Harder They Come. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£45.

Detroit Soul Soul favourites from the nine-piece. Dover St Restaurant And Bar, Dover St, W1S 4LQ (020 7629 9813). £15, diners free before 10pm.

The Fresh And Onlys, Fair Ohs Retro pop with a psychedelic twist by the San Francisco-based combo. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £7.

HotBeds, Black Shades, Coconi The London-based two-piece plays electro-rock. The Workshop, Old St, EC1V 9EY (020 7253 6787). £6, £5 before 8.15pm.

Marcella And The Forget Me Nots, Winnet Alt pop from the Londonbased outfit. The Bowery, New Oxford St, WC1A 1EP (020 7580 3057/ cc 0844 477 1000). £8, adv £6.

Pushed Too Far, Vice City Hardcore rock from the Antwerp-based band. 12 Bar Club, Denmark Place, WC2H 8NL (020 7240 2622). £6.

Will Saul, Appleblim Techno and house by the Taunton-born producer and DJ. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £5.

Taking Hayley Pop-rock by the Birmingham-based band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/cc 0844 477 2000). £6.

Hannah Williams & The Tastemakers Pop-soul and funk by the band. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15, adv £10.

Amanda Palmer Experimental rock by the Dresden Dolls member from the USA. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £16.50.

Role Models, Dirty Love, Ivan & The Wolves Post-punk from the outfit. The Spice Of Life, Moor St, W1D 5NA (020 7739 3025). £5.

SUNDAY 4 Diesel Park West The Leicesterbased band plays guitar-driven pop-rock. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £10.

Soul Purpose Bruce Henry leads the ensemble for soul and funk.

The Hideaway, Stanthorpe Rd, SW16 2ED (020 8835 7070). £12.

The Imagined Village Simon Emmerson’s modern folk collective featuring Eliza Carthy. The Open Air Theatre, Inner Circle, Regent’s Park, NW1 4NU (0844 826 4242). £25 & £32.50.

Surgical Noise, Supergene, PJ, The Queen’s Head Indie-rock by the Portsmouth-based band.

Dublin Castle, Parkway, NW1 7AN (020 8806 2668). £7, concs £5.

Sad Lovers And Giants The Watford-based five-piece plays post-punk and new wave.

The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £12.

Kenny Thomas The vocalist performs soul and pop from his album Breathe. The Jazz Cafe, Parkway, NW1 7PG (020 7485 6834/ cc 0870 060 3777). £17.50.

Wooden Shjips Space rock and psychedelia by the San Franciscobased combo. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £12.50.

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21

Clockwise: clubbers; the interior in 2000; promotional campaign in 1999; a 2002 stage dancer; mock-up of Maggie Thatcher in 1994; Smokin' Jo; Paradise Garage

22

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The house that ministry built As one of the world's original superclubs turns 20, TNT looks at how it transformed from an underground venue into a global brand WORDS CAROL DRIVER

When New York’s Paradise Garage closed in 1987, it left a gaping hole in what was then an adolescent world of clubbing. Up there with America’s Studio 54 and The Loft, the former parking garage catered for a different audience; rather than a white, middle-class scene, it had a mixed crowd, ran gay nights and was the first venue to put a DJ at the centre of attention. It also didn’t sell alcohol – it was all about the house music. New York was a nightclub trendsetter; the scene was more advanced and there was nothing like Paradise Garage in the UK. Justin Berkmann was working as a DJ in the States at the time and saw the impact on the community when it closed.

“I saw the negative effect and how important it had been to people,” Berkmann explains. “I decided it was time to come home, and my dream was to build a club along the lines of that place.

“The same concept – based around lots of different rooms and different vibes; something that was open late, didn’t have alcohol and was basically a hub for everyone in the nightclub or service industry to go to after work.”

It became Berkmann’s obsession to create a club with the sound and atmosphere he’d only ever experienced across the pond. After meeting two entrepreneurial “old Etonians”, James Palumbo and Humphrey Waterhouse, he sold them his dream, and they invested. Within 21 months, the Ministry of Sound opened its doors in Elephant & Castle in September 1991 – 20 years ago next month.

“I realised we were on to something when, within a month, we had four times as many people queuing outside the club as we had inside it,” Berkmann explains.

“We were going for a bunch of unprecedented things.

We were going for no alcohol and we were going for a music and dance licence which was twenty-four-seven, so we could run parties from and to any time we wanted.”

At the same time Paradise Garage was closing in America, the UK was embracing a music scene of its own – rave.

During the “summers of love” in the late Eighties, thousands would dance the night away at free parties in warehouses or fields. Hand in hand with staying up all night came the increased popularity of ’club drugs’ – with ecstasy, speed and acid being the chemicals of choice.

But politicians began to crack down on these spontaneous parties; bylaws were passed by local councils who introduced

fees for such events – spelling the end for what had become the illegal rave. For Berkmann, this movement was integral for the vibe he wanted in Ministry.

“Normal people of all classes and ages were going into fields and getting mashed up and listening to rave music,” he says. “House music was the last serious youth movement; like Mods and punk and rock ’n’ roll – and it was colossal and encompassed everyone. I look at [the scene] today and there’s nothing on the level of that. But there was no club that catered for that. So that’s what Ministry was brought in to cater to: without any restrictions.”

Superstar DJ David Morales agrees. He played at Ministry when it first opened as one of a handful of key players Berkmann brought in to recreate the US vibe.

He says: “It was an honour to play there; it had an incredible sound system. It was known for quality. You had the likes of Paul Oakenfold, Louie Vega, Danny Rampling, CJ Mackintosh, Frankie Knuckles … who were at that time representing what club music was.

“Berkmann came very close to the concept of Paradise Garage; there was no bar, you entered into the dancefloor ›› and that room was for one thing; to listen to music and

In a spin: David Morales TNTMAGAZINE.COM

23

Yeeha! Ministry is 20

dance.” Very quickly, Ministry built itself into a global brand. Its sought-after DJs toured venues across the world – everyone wanted a piece of the action. Through its record label and compilation CDs and merchandising, it began to rake in money – selling more than 50 million albums to date.

Berkmann left in 1994, but Ministry kept growing – opening offices in Germany, Australia, the US, Egypt, Malaysia and Spain. It added international events, bars, electronics and fashion to its portfolio.

The brand has been through rocky times, though – with profits going up and down over the years. In 2004, Ministry revealed it lost £15million during a disastrous expansion. It was also linked by controversy in 2006 when a court heard it had been marked by terrorists as a possible bombing target.

Today, the venue is fighting for its existence – with a planning application for a 41-storey residential development threatening the club’s entertainment licence.

An e-petition (ministryofsound.com/saveourclub) has gone global, with Ministry saying it ”refuses to sit idly by and let this happen” adding: ”If we lose Ministry, we are losing a vital piece of youth culture in this country.”

But according to both Berkmann and Morales, the times are a changing anyway. “Today people have a misconception

of what a club should be. It was about the culture and the art of DJing; with the new generation, it’s not about that,” Morales says.

“It’s about people who want to hang out in VIP sections in cool clubs, not because they care about the music or the club, but because someone’s said it’s cool.”

And for Berkmann, it’s always been about his love of music – something that, for him, doesn’t get better with age.

“I find today’s music quite dark and quite boring. The Nineties were positive years and the music did have soul and did evoke serious emotional response. But that all changed in 2001, when the Twin Towers came down.”

But regardless of what the clubbing scene evolves into, Ministry is still very much a fundamental part of it. So is Berkmann proud?

“It’s a bit like having a kid who becomes really successful and well known. I’m proud it’s something that has grown into such a huge success,” he says. “I’m pleased I built something that’s so cool.” ❚

MINISTRY: THE GALLERY

SATURDAY SESSIONS

20 YEARS OF HOUSE MUSIC

LIVE & REMASTERED

Kicking off the celebrations with a main-room melange of trance heroes. Taking control of the Box will be resident Eddie Halliwell as well as Sean Tyas, Sied Van Riel and Jochen Miller. Danny Rampling and X-press 2 will give a helping hand in 103.

Nic Fanciulli, Dennis Ferrer and Matthias Tanzmann return to the Box. And Ministry residents Joe & Will are adding to the mix for the 103, playing alongside Burns and Da da Life. While DJ Mag will host the first Twenty Terrace in MoS's outdoor space.

Quite possibly the last time you will see CJ Mackintosh, Frankie Knuckles and David Morales play together. All three DJs will be in the same room for the first time in years.

Farley & Heller plus Claudio Coccoluto have also been added to the bill.

Way before the stuff of downloads, Ministry was pumping out tunes. To celebrate its 20th anniversary, it's taken the original recordings from club nights back in the day and digitally remastered them, offering you a slice of dance music history.

Friday, Sept 16

Saturday, Sept 17

Sunday, Sept 18

Released Monday, 19 Sept

£8+

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£8+

£17+

Photos: TNT

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£8+

Ministry of Sound will be celebrating its 20th anniversary with three events from Sept 16-18 (see below) 103 Gaunt St, SE1 6DP ministryofsound.com/tickets Elephant & Castle

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Zoe Birkett The Pop Idol star on her new show Respect La Diva, the latest X Factor series and being signed to the same label as Amy Winehouse INTERVIEW CAROL DRIVER

You’re performing in Respect La Diva – which showcases five decades of great female singers. Would you describe yourself as a diva?

This is my second time being called a diva, which I’m quite excited about – I was one of the original divas in Priscilla Queen Of The Desert. I want to be a diva; I aspire to be one.

Diva: Zoe will be starring in a new West End show

Doesn’t it mean you’re demanding?

To me it’s a strong woman, flamboyant, quite camp – women aspire to be her and men, especially gay men, want to be around her. I love the glitz and glamour of the whole diva thing.

You’ll be performing mostly Beyonce tracks. That’s a big name to live up to.

How do you feel?

It’s scary! It’s the perfect show for me – these are the types of women I’ve been brought up with; they’re my inspirations: Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera. And it includes songs I’ve aspired to my whole life. It’s going to be quite challenging.

The show is supporting the charity Refuge, which raises awareness of domestic abuse against women. Why did you choose that cause?

Diva is about songs from the big divas and female superstars, but the message behind it is that the majority of women, including these divas, have had problems and issues. That’s why we’re supporting the charity – to show women’s rights and how powerful women can be. Supporting women power.

Photos: TNT

Which female singers from today would feature in a Diva show in 20 years?

Beyonce, Lady Gaga – she’s incredible, her quirkiness reminds me of an early Madonna.

You were on Pop Idol 10 years ago – finishing fourth behind Will Young, Gareth Gates and Darius Danesh. What have you done since?

Off the back of the show I got a record deal with Simon Fuller. I released two singles: Get Happy and Treat Me Like A Lady, which featured on the Pop Idol record which went triple platinum.

I also did the arena tours. After that I appeared

in the Thriller musical, then I performed with Jason Donovan in Priscilla Queen Of The Desert.

Straight off the back of that I got asked to do Diva. I then had a stint on Sing If You Can Sing – a prime-time TV slot.

A new X Factor series has just kicked off. What do you think of today’s talent?

A lot has changed. Back then, a lot of us were stage school kids or having singing lessons – that was the direction we wanted to take our lives. Today, there’s a lot of, ‘I work in Sainsbury’s’ or ‘I work in a bookies and sing karaoke at weekends’. And I can see the difference and in the longevity of their careers.

Gaz [Gates] is in Les Mis; Will is off doing plays – and has just released a new album. Live performance is always what artists will go back to as it’s what we’ve always wanted to do.

Has the ‘reality TV/ talent show format’ finally run its course?

I’d never diss reality TV as it’s how I got my break. But I think you have to remember it’s a platform for what you want to do with your life. A lot of these people get caught up in the fame side of things. They can get lost quite easily.

It depends what people want. To me, I’ve always wanted to sing and perform and it was never about the fame. You’ll never see me stumbling out of a bar just to get media attention. My

advice is to make sure it’s what they want; a lot of people are only after fame for 15 minutes and then you never hear from them again.

How has the format changed?

It’s all about the judges these days; who’s arguing, who’s on the panel; nothing’s too focused on the contestants – it was never, ever about them when I did the show.

Did Simon Cowell give you a hard time?

No! Simon loved me from the beginning. All the comments I had from him were really good. I was lucky.

After Pop Idol, you were signed to the same label – 19 Management – as Amy Winehouse. Did you know her?

I used to go and sit in her flat before she’d even released an album. She was just about to do Frank. She was a fantastic writer and a lot of people could relate to her. Unfortunately, we only got a taste of two albums from her, but her legend will always live on.

Respect La Diva – starring Zoe Birkett, Sheila Ferguson, Denise Pearson, Katy Setterfield and Andy Abraham.

From Sep 7-24. Tickets from £15.

Garrick Theatre, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H OHH respectladiva.com Leicester Square

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He was determined to win the stare off with the flames

FRIGHT NIGHT 3D FILM review by Pierre de Villiers STARRING: Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchin, David Tennant | 15 | 106mins

THE ART OF GETTING BY FILM STARRING: Freddie Highmore, Emma Roberts 12A | 84mins

Talented British child actor Freddie Highmore (The Golden Compass, Finding Neverland) comes of age in this New York-set rom-com as George, a lonely, artistic teen who’s blagged his way to his senior year without ever having done any real work. Fireworks fly when he hooks up with popular-butcomplicated classmate Sally (Roberts).

Another week, another bloody vampire movie. Fortunately, unlike the po-faced Twilight series, Fright Night doesn’t take itself too seriously, combining gore and laughs in what is one of the better remakes to come out of Hollywood.

Based on the 1985 comedy-horror cult classic with the same name, the film focuses on teenager Charley Brewster (Yelchin), whose life takes a turn for the worse when charming vampire Jerry (Farrell) moves in next door to his Las Vegas home. When the bloodsucker starts going after his friend Ed (Christopher MintzPlasse), mother Jane (Toni Collette) and girlfriend Amy (Imogen Poots), Charley turns to TV ‘vampire expert’ Peter Vincent (Tennant) for help.

Anyone expecting Fright Night to live up to its name will be disappointed, with a black eyeliner-wearing Farrell about as scary as an Irish boy-band member.

Like the campy original, Fright Night makes up for its lack of heart-stopping scares by being sexy (Farrell seducing Poots in a club with a bloody kiss is hot), over-the-top gory (squirting blood looks even better in 3D) and frequently funny. Yelchin and Farrell both show good comic timing but it is a foul-mouthed Tennant who gets the most belly-laughs as a cross between Van Helsing and Russell Brand.

Satisfying fans of the original Fright Night while winning over a new generation was never going to be easy, but, by constructing some clever action set pieces and paying homage to the 1985 version, director Gillespie does just that.

GOOD FOR: Those who like their horror with a healthy side of humour

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CLAUDIA O’DOHERTY: WHAT IS SOIL EROSION? COMEDY

After selling out her two-week run here last year, Aussie comic Claudia O’Doherty returns with her latest experimental comedy show. It all sounds terribly worthy and educational compared to her last show, Monsters Of The Deep 3D, but O’Doherty promises lasers, smoke machines and oddball comedy.

Soho Theatre 21 Dean St, W1D 3NE. Aug 31-Sep 3. £10 sohotheatre.com Tottenham Court Rd

Aegis Productions Written by Athena Stevens

Magic isn’t when people disappear… it’s when they come back.

GIGGLE! Ha ha!

In a cramped desert house, two sisters, once child performers in a disappearing act, meet for a deadly reckoning.

BRITISH MUSIC EXPERIENCE EXHIBITION

THE BOY WITH TAPE ON HIS FACE

The Hard Rock conglomerate is celebrating its 40th anniversary with this interactive museum.

The show will combine cutting-edge audiovisuals with some of music’s most coveted memorabilia, including David Bowie’s Ashes To Ashes clown suit, Noel Gallagher’s Union Jack guitar and a vintage Amy Winehouse dress.

The O2 Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX. Until Sep 27. £12 theo2.co.uk North Greenwich

Tristan Bates Theatre September 6th - October 1st Box Office: 020 7240 6283 www.tristanbatestheatre.co.uk

CRAZY FOR YOU THEATRE

The gorgeous finale adds a touch of night-time magic to Timothy Sheader’s classy revival of the Gershwin brothers’ 1930 escapist musical froth about NY banker and aspiring hoofer Bobby who falls for a gal (Clare Foster) in a Nevada backwater. With a host of hits, this big-hearted show is guaranteed to please. LK

Photos: Tristram Kenton; TNT

3-D SEX & ZEN: EXTREME ECSTACY

Open Air Theatre Regents Park, NW1 4NR. Until Sep 10. £22.50 openairtheatre.org Baker St

TOP GIRLS

FILM

THEATRE

STARRING: Saori Hara, Leni Lan, Vonnie Lui 18 | 129mins

From career girl Marlene’s surreal dinner party for six historical women to a final confrontation with a sister (Stella Gonet) left behind to pick up the domestic pieces, Max Stafford-Clark’s revival of Caryl Churchill’s play makes it clear that for many (despite a woman PM) the powerobsessed Eighties still held women back. LK

The world’s first 3D erotic film broke box office records in its native Hong Kong with mainland Chinese, banned from watching it at home, flocking to see it. Expect the plot to be a flimsy excuse for a shagathon, and as for a 3D money shot: let’s not even go there.

Selected cinemas

Open Air Theatre Trafalgar Studios, SW1A 2DY. Until Oct 29. £35+ topgirlstheplay.com Charing Cross

You describe your show as “silent stand-up” – what is that?

I use the same tools as any standup comedian with set-ups and punchline. The show uses people, props and a collection of music from the Eighties and early Nineties to create a strange world where silly things can happen. So if you are a fan of comedy, I will provide a show in which you laugh but you won’t hear a single word!

It must make dealing with hecklers interesting I have ways to deal with trouble.

Have you ever been attacked by an animal?

I have a lion feature in every show and so far I have been lucky.

When was the last time you upset a child?

I am not a children’s entertainer so have not had the joy of making a child cry.

What would you take with you to a desert island?

A boat.

Wilton’s Music Hall, 1 E1 8JB. Tue, Sep 27. £10. theboywithtapeonhisface.com Tower Gateway

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29

SPARETIME

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Red Hot Chili Peppers: I’m With You

@tntmagazine

Pacman and Galaga Dimensions

CD

Nintendo 3DS

The new release and tenth album from the mighty LA rockers. £8.99 hmv.com

The legendary Pac-Man and Galaga games in full 21stcentury 3D glory. £34.99 game.co.uk

David Guetta: Nothing But The Beat

Rugby World Cup 2011 Xbox 360

If the real-life results are frustrating you, make sure your team wins. £34.97 asda.com

CD

Collaborations with Snoop Dogg, Will.I.Am, Akon, Timbaland and Nicki Minaj. £8.99 play.com

Obscura Julia Lovell: The Opium War

iPhone app

Censor any of the photos on your iPhone with a black rectangle, stars or pixels.

Free apple.com/itunes

Book

Chinese propaganda and history since the 19th-century Opium War with Britain. £13.49 amazon.co.uk

The Cocktail App iPhone

David Weber: Out of the Dark

Make cocktails with what you have around the house. £1.49 apple.com/itunes

Book

Defending broken Earth after aliens attack. The first in a military science-fiction series. £6.99 base.com

V-Tech digital video camera pen Gadget

A pen and USB device that also takes photos, videos and sound clips. £40.50 qvcuk.com

Killing Bono DVD

What should you resort to if U2 have stolen your limelight? £11.99 dvdsource.co.uk

Ministry of Sound headphones Gadget

The Hour

Continue the rave with these clubbers’ headphones. Bassy. £29.99 dixons.co.uk

DVD

For if you missed the 1950s newsroom dramatics on telly. £15.93 amazon.co.uk

App of the Week Syncuz iPhone and Android app

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Photos: TNT

Rubbish at directions? Find your mates with this event planning app’s guest tracker map and group messaging feature.

FREE syncuz.com

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LIFESTYLESHOPPING

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Radio Veronica T-shirt A re-make of the shirt worn by Alice Cooper in ‘72, featuring the logo of a buccaneering Dutch broadcaster. Very rock’n’roll. wornfree.com

Print palazzo trousers These have retro written all over them.

Make a statement with a clashing print top.

Pussy bow printed shirt Sheer, patterned and pretty, this long, flowing blouse captures the decade to a tee.

riverisland.com

tkmaxx.com

£14.99

£28.00

MARKETWATCH GALLERIA ILLY

£35

.00

£9.95

Men’s aviator sunglasses Uber cool, these shades are a must to finish off your look.

£28.00

ebay.co.uk

Vintage media disco shirt With its loud print, fat collars and tapered fit, this Americanstyle shirt is classic Seventies.

Retro indie cord flares Sport these babies and you’ll ooze retro – with a spot of rock‘n’roll.

devoted2vintage.co.uk

atomretro.com

£34.99

£36.00

Coral slice ring Seventies bling is all about bold rocks and gemstones. dorothyperkins.com

0

Fluro swimsuit This cut out one-piece is a truly psychedelic way to make a splash.

£9.5

next.co.uk

9

Mary Jane shoes You will stop traffic in these rainbow platforms.

Far out, man!

9.9

OPEN September 12-October 16, Monday-Friday, 10am-5pm.

COST Free Illy.com 15 Rosebery Avenue, EC1R 4SP Farringdon

Super Seventies

£2

Photos: TNT

Italian coffee house illy has designed a caffeine-laced utopia for lovers of a good brew.

Following runs in great cities such as New York and Milan, Galleria is popping up in London for the first time to celebrate the intangible bond between science, culture and, of course, coffee.

Dive in and be enlightened by a programme of coffee, tea, chocolate and wine-tasting events – plus, learn how to make a good cuppa from an expert barista. Additionally, a host of food gurus, such as Michelinstarred chefs Giorgio Locatelli and Viki Geunes, will give insightful talks. All of this comes in an exhibition space festooned with African and Mediterraneaninspired art and installations, including the Mediterranean Mirror Table (pictured), and even art you can eat, thanks to Italian creator Michelangelo Pistoletto.

mambosurfdeluxe.com

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31

LIFESTYLEHEALTH LIFESTYLESHOPPING CLASS OF THE WEEK

ZERO

GRAVITY YOGA Are you all downward dogged out?

Sick of saluting the sun? Then put away your comfy yoga mat and try to manoeuvre yourself into a bridge while slung from a harness.

That’s precisely what’s required of you in zero gravity yoga, a new way to practice the ancient art – just don’t get caught pinwheeling in the lotus position. This innovation of using a soft sling with ropes of various heights was introduced by New Yorker Christopher Harrison, an aerial acrobatics choreographer who discovered that a fabric swing delivered a hardcore upper body workout that gave dancers abs of steel. When used in conjunction with yoga postures, it is especially good for developing core muscles, strengthening and stretching the spine, improving posture, reducing back pain and building strength.

Besides that, it’s a whole lot of fun – think a circus trapeze act with chuckles to go with your chakras.

The swing is comfy and supportive, which is especially helpful when you are required to do such moves as an aerial bridge, where you bend yourself backwards in the sling and grab your ankles underneath. If you are not much of an upside down person, this is not for you. £30.00

Skint? Try London’s underground sample sales where you can pick up designer steals WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Don’t spend all your hard-earned on fashion labels in the shops. Sample sales flog excess stock, store samples or pieces with tiny hardly noticeable flaws for a fraction of the original price. But, be warned – there are such good deals, people can get competitive.

Last year the police were called when things got out of hand at an over-subscribed American Apparel sample sale in Brick Lane.

Elbows out!

Sample Hunters, Shoreditch Rifle your way through men’s and women’s designer fashion bargains with 40-80 per cent off their retail price at The Old Truman Brewery. It costs £1 to get in and sells brands from all around the world, including Burberry, Luella, DKNY Jeans, Hackett, Hugo Boss, Ralph Lauren, Armani, Juicy Couture, French Connection, Twenty8Twelve, Vivienne Westwood, Aquascutum and Missoni.

Prepare for a scramble.

Thursday, September 8 – Sunday, September 8 Shop 14 Hanbury Street, E1 6QR Liverpool Street samplehunters.co.uk

Sara had taken out six other women for these skirts TNTMAGAZINE.COM

@tntmagazine

Cheap chic

The Chelsea Club, Stamford Bridge, Fulham Road, SW6 1HS thechelseaclub.com Fulham

32

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DSUK’s Autumn/Winter sale, Chelsea With a bargain-licious 90 per cent off designer gear, this one’s a must. Designer Sales UK has been going since the Eighties, so it’s worth your shrapnel. There’ll be new autumn/winter womenswear, menswear and accessories from more than 100 designers including Vivienne Westwood and French big guns, Yves Saint Laurent.

Friday, September 30 – Saturday, October 1 Chelsea Old Town Hall, King’s Road, SW3 5EE South Kensington designersales.co.uk

The Secret Sample Sale, Shoreditch Scoop up as much Fendi, Marc Jacobs, Calvin Klein, Thomas Pink and Jimmy Choo as you can this weekend at The Old Truman Brewery. Register to get in on the members’ only day (Thursday, September 1) to snap up the best one-off designer steals. Men’s and women’s clothes, shoes and accessories range from £5 to £500.

Thursday, September 1 – Sunday, September 4 Shop 14 Hanbury Street, E1 6QR Liverpool Street secretsamplesale.co.uk

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WHAT’S NEW

Bongaro Trevor at The Secret Sample Sale Bluebeards Revenge post shave

The manliest product out £9.99 bluebeards-revenge.co.uk

First dibs: get there early for the best finds

Bongaro Trevor men’s T-shirt The London Accessory Sale, Mayfair

Designer Warehouse Sale, Islington

Stockpile some Prada heels and Ed Hardy hats, with up to 70 per cent off menswear and womenswear. This hot sale is for members only so sign up to the list for free on the website.

This one is frequented by stylists and fashion editors and has more labels under one roof than Selfridges and Harvey Nichols.

Expect catwalk one-offs, showroom samples and cancelled orders from current season collections, with 60 per cent or more reduced. Prepare to spend a few hours rummaging through bargains from designers like Oliver Stone, Moschino, D-Squared and Kenzo.

Friday, September 9 26 South Molton Lane, W1K 5AB

Bond Street

londonaccessorysale.co.uk

Photos: TNT, Getty, Bongaro Trevor at Secret Sample Sale

WHERE ELSE TO LOOK ✔ lynku.com ✔ samplesaleslondon.co.uk ✔ themusicroom.co.uk/events ✔ trumanbrewery.com ✔ salesgossip.co.uk

September 16-18 (women), September 23-25 (men) 5-6 Islington Studios,

NEXT WEEK

N7 7NU

London’s best cycle routes

Holloway Road

dwslondon.co.uk

L’Oréal mythic oil Tame your fly-away tresses £11.95 hair1direct.co.uk

Antipodes Divine face oil Your skin will drink it up £18.99 antipodesnature.com

TOP TREATMENT: SHIRODHARA Mental stress is a modern-day symptom. Some prescribe themselves a holiday for relief, others meditate. But if you’ve not the funds for a proper getaway, nor the inclination to sit still and reflect, then how about having warm oil poured on your forehead for an hour? Teamed with a head and neck massage, apparently you’ll slip into a receptive calm in no time. £100.00

A slick treatment

Shymala Ayurveda Spa, 152 Holland Park Avenue, W11 4UH shymalaayurveda.com Holland Park

Nelsons bath and massage balm

Melt away the day £8.15 boots.co.uk

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33

LIFESTYLECAREERS

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Bye suckers: land a job that gets you free trips all over the world

A means to travel Not ready to settle? Let your job take you around the world WORDS CLARE VOOGHT

Most of us have to save up to travel during our hard-earned holidays, but a lucky few have jobs that pay them to go around the world. So how do you get these amazing jobs? Here, we speak to three people who have landed a role with the cushiest of travel deals – and find out how they got them.

Finola Tusler, international visual presentation assistant Tusler’s role as international visual presentation assistant has her putting together visual guidelines for Debenhams stores around the world – covering everything from how windows should look to what mannequins should wear.

She goes to visit these stores at least 34

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

six times a year, before and after they open, to guide local staff and make sure shops worldwide are keeping in line with the brand.

Through her behind-the-scenes role for the London-based international retailer, Tusler has travelled to places such as Hungary and Malta. But the most unusual was Kazakhstan.

“I really didn’t know what to expect and found it very different from anywhere else I’ve travelled to,” confesses the 25-year-old. “It was a real culture shock but a positive one.”

After a brief foray into a hairdressing career, Tusler worked her way up from a visual assistant role for Debenhams UK, but now she gets to travel for work, she says she’d miss it if she left. “I’ve developed a love for

experiencing different places, meeting people and getting fully immersed in new cultures and business practices.”

Dan Storey, director As a digital advert and music video director, Storey’s work takes him all over Europe and the UK. He recently went to Benidorm, Spain, to shoot a digital piece on travel insurance for Sainsbury’s and has filmed videos for up-and-coming hip hop artist Kashmere in Cork, Ireland, and Prague, Czech Republic (which was “beautiful”, “inspirational” and his favourite place work has taken him yet).

Back in the UK, working for Crossroads Film, shooting footage all over the country. He’s just been to Wigan, making a music documentary

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LIFESTYLECAREERS ON THE JOB SALLY LOVETT

Finola Tusler

CAREER Freelance copywriter and yoga teacher AGE 27 LIVES East London FROM Surrey How did you get into your job?

I worked in advertising for a few years before ‘going freelance’ and, having practised yoga for years, I gravitated towards yoga and wellbeing clients. Copywriting for those clients infused my interest so much that I trained to teach yoga.

Dan Storey

Photos: Getty, TNT

Sarah Bansgrove

Astana, Kazakhstan: “a real culture shock, but a positive one”

for singer-songwriter OTHER JOBS THAT LET YOU job for Bansgrove and Liza Finn and is often TRAVEL THE WORLD she gets to go away heading to Brighton. four or five times every “Travelling ignites TRAVEL PR year. Could she work inspiration,” Storey, 28, Take journos to foreign climes. in anything else? “I enthuses. “You need AIR CABIN CREW don’t think so,” she to be moving around.

Ensure people have a good flight says. ”I’ve been in the It’s hard to get the real while you jet off somewhere sunny. travel industry for over creative juices flowing CRUISE SHIP CROUPIER 12 years and wouldn’t if you’re just sitting in Deal cards while on a big boat. survive without my daily an office 24/7.

WINE MERCHANT intake of travel ideas “And logistics-wise Go on wine-buying (drinking) jaunts. for future trips.” you can’t get by just ROCK STAR Bansgrove got into shooting in London. At What goes on tour stays on tour. the industry by working the top of the directing in a backpackers’ hostel, game, people are constantly globewhich involved its fair share of travel trotting – going where the business is. perks. She was hooked.

It can be non-stop, which is the ideal.”

“Meeting so many people from Storey followed his experience different walks of life, everyone had gained from being “really young, just a different story of where they had messing about with a camera” with come from and where they were going a degree in video production. And after next,” the 29-year-old says. “It didn’t working freelance on music videos and take long for me to join them.” corporate roles, he got a job on TV Because the company she works show Crossroads to “join the ladder”. for, On the Go Tours, specialises in cultural and adventure trips in far-away Sarah Bansgrove, destinations, Bansgrove’s travels tend travel consultant to be off the beaten track. She spends Bansgrove sells group tours and tailorher trips seeing deserted made holidays and gives customers beaches, advice on visas, tour information untouched NEXT WEEK and pre-travel queries. She travels to forests, exotic destinations her company sells, so she wildlife and Working in really knows what she’s talking about. meeting the Brisbane Travelling is an essential part of the locals.

What do you do day to day?

The first half of the day is spent on copywriting, before then cracking on with Stretching the City tasks – class preparation, admin, promotion, sourcing new venues, meeting new teachers for the team and teaching.

The best part of my job is seeing students’ faces soften and glow after a much-needed savasana (relaxation pose).

What’s the most challenging?

Juggling the above! Oh, and finding nice, reasonably priced, spaces to hire for classes. Know any?!

Stretchingthecity.com

HOW TO...

LEAVE ON TIME • Set yourself smaller deadlines throughout the day, rather than stressing for one big one at the end of the week.

• Don’t make unrealistic

promises you can’t keep.

• If you can, write a detailed

plan in the morning for what you need to do each day.

• If you haven’t got anything left

to do, don’t let yourself get into a stand-off with competitive colleagues over who leaves first. They’re all desperate to go home too.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

35

tntjobs.co.uk GIFT FUNDRAISING T: 020 7281 8908 www.giftjobs.com Gift is one of the UK’s most successful street fundraising companies, Ethical and noncorporate we raise £millions for worthwhile causes.

L LYNCH PLANT HIRE T: 0845 4000 000 www.l-lynch.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Charity Fundraisers: Immediate Start!

Location: London Salary: £8.50 p/h - £13.50 p/h You should be hard working, enthusiastic, with a willingness to learn about & represent charities such as UNICEF, Amnesty and NSPCC. You should genuinely want to make a difference and be available for full-time work.

The Recruitment Team | 0207 281 8908 | recruit@gift-fundraising.com

JOB OF THE WEEK: Drivers, Operators, Fitters Urgently Required Location: London, the Home Counties & Midlands Salary: POA 360, 180, Duck, Dumptruck, Forklift, Grab, Hiab, Low Loader.

Minimum 7 years experience.

If you can recommend people for these roles and they complete a 3 month probation you will be eligible for a £200 reward! Call now.

0845 4000 000

DOCTOR’S SURGERY T: 020 8254 8050 www.freemanpractice.co.uk A progressive general practice with 5 surgeries in the S.W. area. We work in a friendly, challanging,rewarding enviroment.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Medical Receptionist Location: Tooting Salary: TBC Medical Receptionist for progressive Practice based in Tooting.

Must enjoy working as a team and have good organisation and communication skills.

Part time weekly hours plus one Saturday in four.

Experience useful but training is provided.

Terri Smith | Recruitment Team | 020 8254 8050

GINKGO LANDSCAPES T: 020 7498 2021 www.ginkgogardens.co.uk Established for over 21 years Ginkgo Landscapes provide Garden design, build and maintenance services throughout London.

JOB OF THE WEEK: Horticultural Foreman Location: SW & Central London Salary: £Negotiable A dynamic and well organised horticulturist is required to carry out planting, pruning and maintenance of sites throughout the capital.

Must have clean driving license.

Please send C.V Elisa Zimmatore | info@ginkgogardens.co.uk | 020 7498 2021

SHERPA www.eventsherpa.co.uk

JOB OF THE WEEK: Events Crew Location: London Salary: £6.50 - £10 per hour

SHERPA is the leading supplier of intelligent, articulate and professional porters, drivers and crew to the UK event industry. We work at some of the UK’s biggest events; from F1 at Silverstone and new product launches, to bigbudget private and corporate events.

We are looking for reliable, hard working, well-presented team players with excellent spoken English who are not afraid of manual labour. SHERPA work is ideal for but not limited to Antipodeans in London on their working holiday visa as it is a great way to see London, meet new people and the hours are flexible.

PEACH NURSING LTD

JOB OF THE WEEK: Experienced Carer/Housekeeper Location: Hertfordshire and Hampshire Salary: Excellent Rates of pay

T: 01582 635 149 www.peachnursing.com Peach Nursing is a specialised “Care in the Community” provider. We offer people support for clients who wish to be cared for within their home.

Send a CV and recent photo to: john@eventsherpa.co.uk

We are looking for energetic, motivated people with a smiley disposition who have the patients and understanding to adapt to a live-in position caring for the elderly. Must be car drivers. For further information please contact: Peach Nursing | 01582 635149 | info@peachnursing.com

Looking for your next job?

NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY To advertise your job of the week contact Matt Syder | 020 7989 0491 | matt.syder@tntmagazine.com

JOBS

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CASH-SAVING TIPS A BIDDER’S DREAM Xxxxxxxxx Find items on eBay that few others will through XXXXXXXXX the cleverly titled Xxxxxxxxxxx fatfingers.co.uk. Type in the item you are looking XXXXXXXXX to bid on and the site Xxxxxxxxxxx searches for listings with common typos that most XXXXXXXXX people don’t find. This Xxxxxxxxxxx means the goods end up with low bids. Genius.

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RING IN SOME CASH If you are hoarding an old mobile phone, you can easily convert it into cash by visiting envirofone.com.

Enter your phone’s make and model for a quote – if it is worth anything and it works, pop it in the post and expect a cheque in return. A 16GB iPhone currently fetches £265.

Photos: Getty; TNT

LIFESTYLEMONEY

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HOW YOU SPEND IT! Any money-saving tips?

Sign up for newsletters from your favourite shops to take advantage of free delivery and discounts. Also, if you spot a fashion item you like, but it’s pricey, resist the urge to buy it, then return to the store when it’s on sale.

KATERINA VARNAVIDES, 25 JOB Magazine designer FROM London LIVES Cockfosters How do you budget?

I have two direct debits

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Cocktails and good food – necessary luxuries when I’m out with my friends.

HOW THEY SPEND IT! Politicians spend and ‘fess As an Australian MP is under investigation for allegedly misusing his credit card to pay for prostitutes, here are some other politicians who had some explaining to do ...

DEALS MADE EASY Find discounts for just about anything with the My Daily Deal app, which aggregates offers from the top deals websites, such as Groupon and Wahanda, into a single stream. If a deal grabs you, tap on the picture and you’ll go straight to the provider’s website to snap it up (itunes.apple.com).

SPEAKEASIES /8 DIVE IN DAHAB /64

going into two savings accounts – a ‘holiday’ fund and a ‘future’ fund. After I’ve bought my monthly travel card, anything left over from my pay cheque is for shopping and socialising.

It works for me!

Last big blow-out?

A two-week summer holiday to Zante. If anything, it’s all the lotions and potions that hit my pocket the hardest.

Silvio Berlusconi

❚ Iris Robinson, the disgraced former NI Unionist minister who had an affair with a teen, had to repay £2,274.72 for claims including a luxury bed.

❚ French politician Christian Blanc bailed from the Cabinet when it emerged his office had purchased £10,000 worth of cigars – and he had smoked a third of them.

❚ Former NZ building and construction minister Shane Jones charged 19 pornographic movies to the public purse and had to make a cringing public apology for it, too.

❚ Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi lavished beautiful women with £500,000 worth of jewellery, courtesy of taxpayers. His 2010 expenses rang in at £30m in total, the sly dog.

Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*

*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.

0870-898 8996 tntforex.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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LIFESTYLELIVING HOME

STYLE 99 £8.

Record coasters For retro coffee tables only

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Freaks need not apply

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.0 £35

How to avoid your next sharehouse nightmare

0

You can find the right flatmate without coming across all Shallow Grave, below

WORDS TOM STURROCK

Arrow clock Telling the time like it is urbanoutfitters.co.uk

00

£2.

Black and white mug Stick the kettle on tigerstores.co.uk

15 £2.

Coloured birthday candles With flames that match the wax amazon.co.uk

38

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For young people living and working in London, sharehouse-life is a rite of passage, a necessary concession that comes with a city where rent is exorbitant. In a perfect world, you’d end up in a gorgeous flat with a bunch of friendly, reliable housemates who are tidy but still good value. Of course, it rarely turns out like that. More likely, if you’ve been sharing for a few years, you’ve got a laundry list of sharehouse nightmares.

According to Leanne Walker, 27, from Fulham, first impressions can be misleading.

“Steffi and Ash seemed really sociable when they came around to view the place,” she recalls. ”They said all the right things, laughed at all the right moments – it was almost too good to be true. And it was.

“Once they were settled, talking to them was like pulling teeth – they were the most uncommunicative people. She became very pale and he would flounce round the house wearing sunglasses inside, as if he was a rockstar. He wasn’t. They used to cook a roast dinner every night, then go straight to their bedroom upstairs to eat these huge meals by themselves while the rest of the house hung out together.

“Then, one night I came home late and found Ash rummaging through the fridge in the dark. I turned on the light and got the fright of my life when I saw his entire face was covered in a thick avocado face peel mask and he even had one of those blackhead removal strips across his nose.

“They moved out soon after. We never find out where but, by then, we didn’t care.

Worst housemates ever.”For Rohan Stagg, 31, from Bayswater, his gregarious, outgoing housemate soon became a pain in the arse.

“She had a job working for a charity based in London and she was really passionate about it, which commended her at first. But every time we would be sitting around, having dinner or just a few beers,

she would start banging on about her work and how everyone had an obligation to do more to help poor people overseas.

“Don’t get me wrong – once in a while would have been OK and it was no doubt a good cause, but she directed every conversation toward it.

“And then, when she moved out, we busted her stealing the flat radio. Bad form.”

The common thread with many sharehouse horror stories is that people who seem reasonable at first can turn out to be disastrous housemates – just like the situation Chandler found himself in with Eddie in Friends. But, if you don’t have the luxury of being able to live with people

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Photos: TNT; Getty; Thinkstock

The one with the weird housemate: Chandler and Eddie

you already know, how should you avoid a repeat? According to Matt Hutchinson, author of The Essential Guide To Flatsharing and spokesman for sharehouse website spareroom.com, there are some simple ways to preserve your sanity. Hutchinson says that, when sussing out a new flatmate, you should be inquisitive and clear.

“Ask plenty of questions and let your prospective new flatmate ask plenty too,” he says. “We’re not advocating anything like the opening scene of Shallow Grave here but it’s good to know as much about each other as possible.

“Make sure you’ve said exactly what the set-up is in advance so there are no nasty surprises further down the line. This is especially important when it comes to what is and isn’t included in the rent.”

Hutchinson also advises against moving in with people for the wrong reasons and misrepresenting yourself: “Don’t offer the room to someone just because you fancy them or they have a huge flatscreen TV. If you fancy your potential flatmate ask them out for a drink rather than suggesting they move in. ”And don’t lie just to impress someone (‘yeah, I’m really clean, I clean all the time’ or ‘no, we never have parties, never’). Be honest about the type of place you live in and what your lifestyles are or you might end up with someone who doesn’t want to be there.” » Tell us your sharehouse horror stories Email: letters@tntmagazine.com

NIGHTMARE HOUSEMATES EMILY

CUNNINGHAM Personal assistant, 27

“When I first moved to London, I shared a room with a girl who, every night, ate a frozen pizza and washed it down with half a bottle of vodka. We’re still best friends.”

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“In my student days, we had a guy whose nickname was ‘The Toad’, who slept in our backyard shed in the height of summer. He was the smelliest man alive.”

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Plug it in and away you go

MEMORABLE ORGASM UNITED STATES For women on the go, life got just a whole lot less complicated, thanks to a new product that combines a vibrator and memory stick all in one.

The Duet is a sex toy that is powered by the USB port in a computer. However, it can also store up to 16GB of data.

Designers Ti Chang and Michael Topolovac, from San Francisco, developed the device in response to complaints about bulky charging devices.

“Two female friends were expressing their frustration over the products and shopping environments in the world of sex toys,” Topolavac said. “I was struck by the profound gap between the quality experience women sought and what was available.”

TWEETS OF THE WEEK @ConanOBrien I like my women the way I like my coffee. Yup, I like blonde slutty coffee with low self esteem. @DrewMarlowe Most animals get funnier when you shave them. Not bears. Bears get even more terrifying. @Lord_Voldemort7 I’d like to see a makeup company with an honest slogan. “You’re tragic looking, slop this goop on your face and maybe you’ll look better”

IT’S GAME SCONE AUSTRALIA

Australians and Kiwis have a timehonoured rivalry on the sports field, but this one-upmanship has now spilled into the kitchen, with a team of Aussie women setting out to break a Kiwi record for the biggest scone.

Members of the Land Cookery Committee will join Kelso High School’s 40

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In the red corner: It’s Tammy, the Southern Tamandua, who’s taking her turn on the scales as part of London Zoo’s annual weigh-in, which records the vital statistics of all the animals. Hopefully the big cats aren’t too sensitive about the extra kilos they’ve stacked on since then came off their low-carb diets.

Year 10 Food Technology students in Bathurst, New South Wales, in an attempt to bake the 140kg scone.

A total of 70kg of self-raising flour will be used, along with 70 litres of milk, 14 litres of sour cream, 8.4kg of castor sugar, 105kg of salt and 105kg of baking powder.

The giant scone will then be cooked for seven hours.

SLIPPERY WHEN WET UNITED STATES An interstate highway in Texas was closed down after four mysterious canisters fell off the back of a truck. But officials need not have worried – the

material was only frozen bull semen – worth £48,000.

“We didn’t know what it was, but we were told (the canisters) were non-toxic,” said Maggie Lawrence, a fire department spokesman.

When firefighters arrived on the ramp, they saw “four small propanesized canisters (that) began to emit a light vapor,” Lawrence said.

Once emergency personnel learned the smoking canisters were nothing hazardous, the ramp was promptly cleared.

“It was no different to us than if a mattress fell off a truck,” a transportation spokesman said.

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THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 800

Litres of water wasted each year by British women who leave the shower running while they shave their legs

Blue team was on to Jordan in a flash

BOOBS BEWARE UNITED KINGDOM A woman’s fake breast implant was ruptured during a game of paintball – the first time such an injury is believed to have occurred in Britain.

The 26-year-old was playing at Whyteleafe, south London, when she was shot in the chest at close range. The bizarre injury, which the unnamed woman suffered last weekend, prompted hosts UK Paintball to implement a new rule requiring players with implants to wear extra chest protection.

“Part of the fun of paintball is that it hurts a bit when you get shot but in all the years we’ve been going we’ve never seen an incident like this,” a spokesman said.

“The incident has been a real wake-up call and nobody should ever feel worried for their safety during a game of paintball.

But it’s worth remembering that having bigger breasts will make you an easier target for your enemies.”

SMELL OF DANGER

Photos: Getty

NEW ZEALAND Firefighters were called out to high school after excessive use of deodorant triggered a fire alarm.

Three crews attended Southland Boys’ High School, in Invercargill, after one of the boys went a bit over the top with his spray, setting off the smoke alarm.

And, apparently, it’s not a first offence – Invercargill station officer Colin Russell said the service had been called out for the same reason several times in the past few years and occurred when deodorant particles became so thick they were mistaken for smoke.

Value, in US dollars, of an albino boa constrictor stolen from a pet shop by a man who stuffed the snake down his pants

450

Miles rowed by a team of British explorers before reaching the North Pole.

Hope they packed a warm pair of thermals

Magnitude of earthquake in Washington DC which apparently restored the hearing of deaf pensioner Robert Valderzak

Smells like teen spirit “They [the boys] get carried away with the deodorant ... I imagine it would get quite whiffy in there at times,” he said.

GREEN HAIRCUTS JAPAN Construction firm Maeda Corp has requested its 2700 staff to adopt identical hairstyles in order to protect the environment.

Men have been advised to get a short back-and-sides but slightly longer on top and the women a bob with a longer fringe that can be swept to one side.

“Our company is very keen on protecting the environment and we encourage our staff to adopt many environment-friendly actions,” said Chizuru Inoue, a spokesman for Maeda Corp.

“We are not sure of the data yet, but we believe if people have short hair they do not need to use their hair driers for so long and they will use less water. It may save a lot of power.”

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK I used what us actors call ‘sense memory’.

And I’ve smoked enough weed to know what it’s like and not to have to prepare for a scene by smoking a joint Actor Jeff Bridges gave up smoking pot when playing The Dude in The Big Lebowski

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: TOM STURROCK tom.sturrock@tntmagazine.com

Punters are already queueing for tickets to Gaddafi World

Gaddafi’s fall opens window of opportunity for Libyans

Photos: Getty

Should he be shot, jailed or paraded as the star of a new theme park?

When Colonel Gaddafi turns up, there will be short-sighted calls to have him trialled at the Hague or summarily executed. But this would be a disastrous waste of a once-in-a-lifetime chance to revitalise Libya’s tourism industry.

First of all, has anyone checked his Facebook status? In between his incessant updates about what he had for lunch and girly proclamations about how he loves all his amazing friends who have helped him stay strong, maybe Gaddafi, perhaps now in exile, has let the cat out of the bag: “OMG, weather in Burkina Faso is incredi!!” Alternatively, Gaddafi may be using Facebook Locations – an application seemingly custom-made for rumbling deposed and in-hiding autocrats. If someone is monitoring it, it will be game over next time Gaddafi heads to Spiderhole Interiors to pick up some new soft furnishings.

Once the captivating ‘Where’s Muammar?’ scavenger hunt is over, the Libyan people must decide a punishment. But executing or jailing him is so 2006 and there are economic considerations here. Libya has many natural gifts – its northern beaches are, for example, among the best diving spots in the world – but to really put their tourism industry back on the map, the Libyans need to think big. That’s why they should turn Gaddafi’s compound into a family friendly theme park, where the colonel is wheeled out for three after-lunch shows each day. Gaddafi World, the Blingingest Place on Earth. Think of the T-shirt sales.

Visitors would pootle around Gaddafi World in golf carts and get their pictures taken in front of the Golden Fist statue. Imagine exploring the mysteries of the subterranean tunnels – shits all over the Magic Kingdom – and then heading to the giftshop to splash your cash on authentically smuggled Versace shirts and name plates made out of pirate gold. Staffing it would be a no-brainer – Gaddafi’s all-female cadre of Amazonian bodyguards could keep their old uniforms but, realistically, might need some re-training.

The liberation of Libya is bound up in the hope that its citizens will now be afforded western freedoms. But until they have a theme park, can they ever be truly free? » Agree or disagree? How many times would you visit Gaddafi World? letters@tntmagazine.com

STUDY PROVES WE SWING BOTH WAYS In further proof that some academics just dream up redundant studies as an exercise in job justification, some American ‘scientists’ have revealed that, gasp, some people are bisexual.

A sample of 100 men who claimed they were bisexual were shown different types of gay porn – man-on-man and girl-on-girl, for those who were home-schooled. And, – surprise, surprise – some guys put up a tent during both. If life gives you lemons.

Until now, the suspicion, apparently, has been that those identifying as bisexual were just putting it on, dragging their heels en route to joining the other team or double-

“

A dangerous myth has been exploded

”

dipping once there. Or, in some cases, teenage girls saw Wild Things and thought scissoring another girl made them edgy.

Whatever, this vitally important study has proved that some people do in fact swing both ways, exploding the myth of ‘pretend bisexuality’ which has threatened for so long to tear our communities apart.

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The wild bunch Which Republican candidate will run against Barack Obama in 2012? WORDS TOM STURROCK Americans don’t go to the polls until November 2012 but election season lasts an eternity across the pond and the race among Republicans for the right to challenge Barack Obama is heating up. The field is mostly set now and the next month will see a ratcheting up of the debates that will shape the pecking order.

With the Republican Party increasingly beholden to the anti-government protest movement known as the Tea Party, the line-up of hopefuls is a rogues’ gallery of demagogues, zealots, bigots and climate-change deniers. As well as the odd sensible candidate who sticks out like a cowboy at a party full of Indians.

Michelle Bachmann Who? The congresswoman from Minnesota is a Tea Party darling. She’s pro-gun, pro-God, anti-gay and has promised to abolish the Environmental Protection Agency.

Weird factor Off the scale. She came to prominence in 2008 when she called for the media to investigate whether other politicians were “pro-America or anti-America”. Comments about homosexuality made by Bachmann in 2004 have also turned up recently. “It’s a very sad life,” Bachmann said. “It’s part of Satan, I think, to say this is gay. It’s anything but gay.”

Key quote On global warming: “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

Chances Too extreme to be president but could appear as vice-president on the ticket of a more moderate candidate.

Jon Huntsman Who? The former Utah governor’s last job was as the Obama Administration’s ambassador to China, a post he relinquished earlier this year to pursue his presidential ambitions.

Weird factor Not really weird at all. He was a superstar boy scout in the Seventies and dropped out of high school to play 44

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keyboard in a rock band called Wizard. Does that count? The weirdest thing is that he wound up a Republican.

Key quote On the Republicans becoming the party of antiscience: “To be clear. I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.”

Chances None. He’s too moderate for the modern Republican Party. He’d get more votes running as a Democrat.

Ron Paul Who? The 76-year-old doctor stands out as a fiercely articulate opponent of government interference. He ran previously, and unsuccessfully, in 1988 and 2008.

Weird factor He’s a complete anomaly in the Republican Party. For example, he mounted scathing criticism of the Patriot Act after 9/11 and opposed the invasion of Iraq. On the home front, he has called for heroin to be legalised.

Key quote On government over-reach: ”I am convinced there are more threats to American liberty within the 10-mile radius of my office on Capitol Hill than on the rest of the globe.”

Chances None. But he remains the most authentically antiestablishment voice in a field that trades in phoney outrage.

Rick Perry Who? The current governor of Texas is the latest to declare his candidacy and is a prolific fundraiser, despite a welldocumented rift with the Bushes.

Weird factor Perry has suggested the global recession proves the US needs to revert to “biblical principles” and wants intelligent design taught in school. And, as he says, you can follow him “on the Tweeter”.

Key quote On Texas seceding: “We’ve got a great union.

There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, who knows what may come of that.”

Chances The parallels with Bush Jr are obvious. But scarily,

Clockwise: Mitt Romney; the line-up at debates; Rick Perry on the campaign trail

that doesn’t ruin his chances. In fact, it makes him one of the top dogs, along with Romney.

Mitt Romney Who? He made millions in private equity before becoming governor of Massachusetts. His business chops endear him to Wall Street but his universal healthcare, derisively dubbed “Obamneycare”, riles the Tea Party.

Weird factor Democrats have already focused on Romney’s weirdness, supposing his Mormon faith may make evangelical Christians and the godless equally uncomfortable. But the weirdest thing about Romney is that he’s a Republican who has openly declared his love of France.

Key quote “Corporations are people. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to people. Where do you think it goes?”

Chances Looked untouchable before Perry got involved.

Remains one of the top three but his reserved, bloodless approach might not get the rednecks fired up enough.

Photos: Getty

Rick Santorum Who? A former senator from Pennsylvania, Santorum has a serious rap-sheet of gaffes and on-the-nose proclamations stemming from his hard-right Christian conservatism.

Weird factor He declared WMD had been found in Iraq and suggested victims of Hurricane Katrina could be prosecuted for choosing not to leave New Orleans. And his comparisons between homosexuality and bestiality prompted an online backlash that led to the word ‘santorum’ being coined as “the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex”. Seriously, Google it.

Key quote “That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing.”

Chances Less than zero. Along with Bachmann, he is the shining epitome of all that is toxic in the Grand Old Party.

CARIBOU IN THE CORNER WILL SARAH PALIN RUN? Former Alaskan governor and vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin has so far kept her powder dry but a late-breaking candidacy, which cannot be ruled out, would have seismic implications.

Palin (above) is earning a pretty penny travelling the country as unelected mouthpiece for ‘real Americans’, so the hard graft and scrutiny of a presidential campaign may not be high on her agenda. Furthermore, Michelle Bachmann has slotted comfortably into the Palin-shaped void, suggesting Palin would have her work cut out reclaiming her niche were she to run.

And Palin, for all her grassroots support among certain quarters, is a deeply divisive figure in American politics. Independents, and even some serious conservatives, can’t stand her. Were she to enter the race and not win the Republican candidacy, or win it and get trounced by Obama, that would be the end of her.

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Copeland celebrates a wicket

COPELAND ON FIRE CRICKET

Uncapped fast bowler Trent Copeland staked his claim for a Test berth against Sri Lanka by claiming 5-47 in the warmup match against a Board XI. Copeland, 25, is vying for a spot against Peter Siddle and Ryan Harris and the control and consistency he showed en route to his five-wicket haul may have put him in the box seat.

“Five under my belt and I couldn’t be happier, doesn’t matter where you are in the world or what the wicket’s like,” he said. “Little bit sunburnt, but I’ll learn from that and put some more (sunscreen) on.”

Batsman Usman Khawaja also appeared to ensure his selection by making a composed unbeaten century. Khawaja opened the batting with Phil Hughes but is more likely to bat at six when the first Test begins on Wednesday, with Shane Watson returning to the top of the order.

MALTHOUSE TO WALK AUSTRALIAN RULES

Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse is gunning for back-to-back premierships this year but, even if he succeeds, it seems increasingly unlikely he will remain with the Magpies next year.

The reigning premiers are travelling beautifully, having lost just one game all season, but regardless of what happens in the finals, Malthouse will be replaced by Nathan Buckley as coach as part of a longterm succession plan and has not been persuaded that there is another meaningful role for him at the club.

“The year after, hopefully he’ll be at Collingwood,” Magpies president Eddie McGuire said last week. “Mick’s the coach, Bucks will be the coach next year. I’m anticipating that Mick will be there in the position of director of coaching.

“If, at the end of this campaign Mick needs a break, then we’ll consider that as we go.”

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Shades of the 1980s: The Manly Sea Eagles and the Melbourne Storm turned back the clock on Friday night when an epic brawl erupted during their match at Brookvale Oval.

Every player on the field was involved as these two teams, who occupy the top two spots on the table, renewed their rivalry. In the end, the Sea Eagles got home 18-4.

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ROOSTERS OR COCKS? RUGBY LEAGUE

The Sydney Roosters have a reputation for boozy indiscretions and the latest appears to have ended the careers of two of their stars.

Despite Roosters players being banned from drinking alcohol, Todd Carney, Nate Myles and Frank Paul Nuuausala went on a bender. Myles was promptly sacked and Carney seems likely to join him after being stood down for the rest of the season.

Carney, last year’s Dally M winner, has had his share of alcohol-related trouble before. He was banned from his home town of Goulburn because of his drunken mayhem and was sacked by the Canberra Raiders after he refused to quit drinking.

Whether he would be picked up by another club next year remains uncertain.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK We believe this is the biggest player signing in the history of Australian sport Melbourne Victory chairman Anthony Di Pietro after his club signed Socceroo Harry Kewell. Turn it up.

If I cross the line first, am I going to be questioned again?

These are the things – I don’t care how strong you are

Novak Djokovic is aiming for his third major title of the year

PREVIEW Djokovic on the march US OPEN

EVERY DAY 4PM SKY SPORTS 1 This year, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer have been usurped by Novak Djokovic at the top of men’s tennis.

In New York over the next fortnight, the Serb will be gunning for his third Grand Slam title of the year.

Djokovic will enter the tournament as the hot favourite – his form this year has been outstanding and hardcourt is his preferred surface. The only worry for the reigning Australian Open and Wimbledon champion is whether his shoulder holds up.

Djokovic lost to Nadal in last year’s final but the pecking order has been dramatically re-ordered since then. Federer, at 30, remains a wonderful player but now struggles to stay with the top two. And Nadal, although still only 25, has done more hard miles than most players his age.

It means Djokovic has been able to surge past both men, combining Nadal’s brute force and court coverage with Federer’s shot-making and variety. It would have been depressing if Nadal and Federer had faded away, to be replaced by onedimensional journeymen. Instead, tennis is richer for Djokovic’s ascent.

THE CHAT | Barton to leave Newcastle

American sprinter Justin Gatlin on his return to the sport after serving a fouryear doping ban

Arsenal fans hate him so Tottenham fans will love him. He’s got an advantage by upsetting them. He’ll be a hero Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp on the signing of former Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

ATHLETICS Queen’s Park Rangers really want Q Do Joey Barton?

Newcastle midfielder is one of the game’s loose A The cannons and there’s no doubt that QPR would have to manage Barton off the field as well as on it. He has twice been convicted of violent assault and even spent a couple of months in jail. Since his release, though, Barton has fallen in love with Twitter and has used his account to support the families of the Hillsborough tragedy, as well as quoting George Orwell in response to his recent falling out with his manager. Among all that, Barton has also played some exceptional football. As long as QPR are prepared to deal with Barton’s outsize personality, they could be a perfect match.

World Championships The action continues from Daegu Every day 10.45am, British Eurosport

CRICKET Sri Lanka v Australia The first Test begins in Galle Wednesday 5.20am, British Eurosport 2

AUSTRALIAN RULES Collingwood v Geelong Joey Barton

A likely grand final preview Friday 10.30am, ESPN

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SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY jahn.vannisselroy@tntmagazine.com

SBW’s rugby form started to fade after a bout with sickness beneficiary Alipate Liava'a

Cut gives Sonny Bill Williams a proper reason to fight In all his teams, SBW has been the top dog in his position – until now

» Agree or disagree? Do you think SBW will shoot through? letters@tntmagazine.com 48

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

Across the Tasman, another superstar was also causing headlines – firstly for going missing in action, then for allegedly causing another kind of action.

Wallabies winger James O’Connor missed the naming of the Australian squad after sleeping through his alarm after a heavy night on the turps. He was suspended for the weekend’s game against NZ but then had the ignominy of being hauled before the media to deny that last year in Paris he was involved in a drunken punch-up involving fellow stars Quade Cooper and Kurtley Beale.

Many 21-year-olds fail to turn up to work after a heavy night on the booze but

“

Surely they can sort it out themselves

”

not many are made to front the media over a rumour, true or otherwise, that they had a bit of a disagreement with their mates.

If these guys are mature enough to represent their nation in such an aggressive, full-contact sport, then surely they should be allowed to sort things out among themselves.

Photos: Getty

The non-selection of much-hyped All Black Sonny Bill Williams against Australia for the weekend past is a telling moment in his career. It will show whether he has the fortitude to fight back and continue his quest to become a New Zealand great or whether representing his country was just something else to use as a lever to get more money abroad as soon as he can – as many cynics always suspected.

When Williams signed for New Zealand last year after being courted by everyone in the New Zealand Rugby Football Union, he was marketed as the next big thing, the next Jonah Lomu, a global superstar who would change the game. And he started off well, earning All Blacks selection and playing to a high level in Super 15. A high level, that is, until he jumped in the boxing ring.

Boxing requires an incredible amount of training – even SBW’s mentor and friend Anthony Mundine could not play league and box at the same time – and it seemed when Williams returned from his meaningless June bout against Tongan sickness beneficiary Alipate Liava'a that he had lost a bit of his zip, a bit of his focus.

He’s now out of the first-choice NZ side. In cameos against South Africa and Australia and then a full Test in Port Elizabeth, he lacked the directness in attack that an All Blacks number 12 requires. And in a team built around versatility, he’s proven in only one position, which may even also limit his time riding the pine. Add this to the fact his contract runs out immediately after the World Cup final – he still hasn’t re-signed – and you could draw the conclusion that we may be about to witness the end of SBW in a black jersey.

To be fair, he’s only played seven Tests at the highest level and has been fasting for Ramadan as his Islamic beliefs require. But Williams will now be forced to show his true colours: will he take the money and run or will he scrap like hell to get back in black – a fight that’ll be far harder than knocking a tubby has-been about for a few rounds.

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Out of the Ashes Australian fast bowler Peter Siddle insists the road to redemption begins in Sri Lanka WORDS TOM STURROCK

The Ashes began promisingly for Australia, and for fast bowler Peter Siddle in particular. After all the build-up, Australia won the first day decisively, bowling England out for 260, thanks largely to Siddle’s career-best haul of 6-54, which included a hat-trick that gutted the tourists’ dangerous lower-middle order. The momentum of that opening day swung sharply, though, England cruising to thumping victories in three of the five Tests to secure their first series win Down Under in 24 years. It was a result, combined with a disappointing showing in the World Cup, which confirmed Australian cricket’s lowest ebb since the mid-Eighties.

On Wednesday, the three-match series between Australia and Sri Lanka begins in Galle. And, according to Siddle, lessons have been learned from the Ashes drubbing.

“I think the biggest thing that came out of that series, and it’s been reinforced by watching England since, is that we lacked the basics,” Siddle says. “We need to build those bowling partnerships, to be bowling in groups. And it’s the same with the batting. Guys need to take their time getting in and spend more time in the middle. I think we’ve been able to take a few steps back and really work on those things. We’re not starting from scratch but we need to get back to focusing on those areas.”

And, as the trauma of Ashes defeat subsides, the doom and gloom has been replaced by optimism about the hard work that awaits an Australian side intent on restoring its standing as one of Test cricket’s top dogs.

The axing of veteran opener Simon Katich aside, the handover of captaincy from Ricky Ponting to Michael Clarke is the only major change wrought since the Ashes. And, given that, in the past, Australian captains have relinquished the post only at the end of their careers, there is plenty of intrigue in how Ponting and Clarke will fare in circumstances that are, by Australian standards, unconventional.

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“It’ll be interesting to see how they go, how much Punter can stand back,” Siddle says. “But I think Pup’s played a lot of cricket under Punter – his entire Test career – so I don’t think their approaches or their tactics will be too dissimilar.

“It’s definitely a fresh start. It’s been a while since our last Test and we’ve obviously got the new captain – Pup’s got the full-time job rather than being the fill-in and there are a few new players in the squad.”

Ponting, though, is unlikely to be sidelined completely.

He will presumably remain ensconced at the pivotal number

“

We lacked the basics during the Ashes

”

three spot in the order and is determined to add to his 152 Tests, aiming to tour England one last time in 2013.

But, for all his grim forcefulness and his glorious record notwithstanding, Ponting, 36, must now be a series-by-series proposition. Siddle for his part, is confident the veteran has what it takes to bat on.

“Growing up, skippers moved on and retired,” Siddle says.

“But Punter’s a great batsman and there’s still a lot of runs left in him. I think no longer being the captain takes a bit of pressure off him, allows him to be a bit more relaxed in the field and just concentrate on his batting.”

At the other end of the spectrum, Australia’s 15-man squad includes four uncapped players – Shaun Marsh, Trent Copeland, Nathan Lyon and James Pattinson – and two others who have played just one Test – Usman Khawaja and Michael Beer. It is a necessary, overdue concession to renewing the Test side, even if 30-somethings like Ponting,

Siddle celebrates his Ashes haul

Photos: Getty

Former captain Ricky Ponting is still raring to go

Mike Hussey and Brad Haddin remain first-choice.

“It gives these younger guys a real opportunity to come away on tour with some of the more experienced guys and they’re all quality players,” Siddle says. “They’ve all peformed well for Australia A or at state level and I think the selectors have all their bases covered with the players they’ve picked.”

Marsh and Khawaja will battle it out for the final batting position, while Lyon and Beer are vying for the spinner’s berth, but the picture is less clear when it comes to the pace attack. Along with Siddle, Mitchell Johnson and Ryan Harris survived from the Ashes. Ben Hilfenhaus and Doug Bollinger, though, have been overlooked for Pattinson, Siddle’s 21year-old Victorian teammate, and Copeland, who offers the kind of control Australia have lacked since Stuart Clark was discarded two years ago.

“Hopefully, from my perspective they wait a bit longer to make their debut,” Siddle says good-naturedly. “But yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time with James – I’ve known him since he was a little kid. He’s big and strong and bowls fast and swings it. And Trent Copeland, I’ve been impressed by his patience and consistency, his ability to bowl line and length.”

Siddle expects Sri Lanka will be a very different prospect on their own turf than they were in England this summer.

“It’s always tough going to another country and playing in their conditions but I think the boys who have been over for the ODIs have shown that you can get stuck in and still do well,” Siddle says.

“Mostly the wickets can be pretty flat to begin with and then break up a bit. But, watching the ODIs, the wickets have been a bit green and have had a bit in them early. We can’t hope for too much, though – I’m sure the grass will disappear a bit and the wickets will dry out by the first Test.”

But, as Siddle can attest and as the Ashes proved, the way a series begins isn’t as important as the way it ends.

New skipper Michael Clark has a lot on his plate

Usman Khawaja

THE NEW BLOKES ARE THEY ANY GOOD? Usman Khawaja Could open, but is more likely to bat at number six. Technically correct and composed at the crease – big numbers for NSW suggest a bright future.

Shaun Marsh At 28, Marsh is the oldest of the rookies and already has a couple of ODI centuries to his name.

Stuck behind Khawaja in the pecking order.

Trent Copeland The 25-year-old has been the pick of the domestic bowlers in recent times, claiming 87 wickets at an average of 21.68 since his first-class debut for NSW. James Pattinson There are a bunch of young quicks coming through the ranks in Australia but Pattinson’s selection for this tour earmarks him as the most likely.

Michael Beer After being plucked from nowhere for the final Ashes Test, Beer has been preferred to more experienced spinners Jason Krejza and Nathan Hauritz.

Nathan Lyon Another bolter boards Australia’s spinbowling merry-go-round. Lyon, 23, has only played four first-class matches but has shown a bit in limited-overs.

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TRAVEL LATE DEALS | HOTSHOTS | HOLIDAY SNAPS | TOP FIVE | TOURS | BIG TRIP QUEEN OF HEARTS

IMAGE OF THE WEEK

Men in costume pose at Zeedijk, in the centre of Amsterdam, during the Hartjesdag (Day of Hearts) parade.

Photos: Getty, Skydive Cape Town

INSIDE

HAM IT UP /56

RED SEA RAMBLING /64

CAPE EXTREME /70

Take a trip to the Regency town of Cheltenham for a taste of Bath, without the crowds

Moses dropped into Dahab while fleeing Egypt – now the Red Sea resort is a haven for divers, thrill seekers and sun worshippers

You don’t have to be a history buff, wine connoisseur or fashionista to fall for South Africa’s mother city, Cape Town TNTMAGAZINE.COM

53

TRAVELDIARY Janine Kelso

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Get in the Catalan spirit

NOTE FROM TRAVEL EDITOR

BOOZE TOURISM CRACKDOWN Cultural delights aside, many travellers are drawn to Eastern European countries for their proliferation of quality cheap booze. With promises of beer for less than a quid and bargainbasement vodka shots, many cities like Tallinn and Riga have become havens for stag parties and just about anyone who likes a tipple or two.

While this is great news for anyone travelling on a budget who wants to have a booze-fuelled night out, it can get a bit wearing for the long-suffering locals.

Bulgaria is so fed-up of the debauchery exhibited by trashed tourists that hoteliers now plan to blacklist companies who allegedly offer drinking tours. Krakow reacted in a similar way a few years ago with signs springing up in bars saying: “No stag parties.” And the Dutch government wants to start banning tourists from coffee shops in a bid to deal with the nuisance that the stoners can cause.

While most of us can handle our booze without humiliating ourselves and our homelands, there are a special few who ruin it for everyone by collapsing in their own vomit or exposing themselves in public.

If this sounds like you, plan your holiday around places that welcome pissheads. Think Oktoberfest.

Happy travels!

LET ME know your views janine.kelso@tntmagazine.com

LES FESTES DE LA MERCE Barcelona, Spain Parades of giants, fire-breathing dragons, costumed dancers, human pyramids, jugglers, acrobats, balloons, fireworks, music. Barcelona goes 22-25 into a colourful frenzy in celebration of its patron saint this weekend.

Expect music and performers on the streets, firecrackers and lots of Cava as the Catalan city commemorates the banishing of a plague of locusts.

SEPT

WHERE: The Gràcia neighborhood, the Plaza Sant Jaume and along the ascent to Mount Montjuic, with stunning views of the city.

WHY: Nostra Senyora de la Mercè is said to have appeared as an apparition to St Peter Nolasco, who went on to found a religious order. She’s credited with winning battles.

NOTTE BIANCA

ATLANTIC ANTIC

New York, US

Notte Bianca takes place in cities across the world. In 1 Valletta, museums, historical buildings and art galleries are open all night, for free. Music, eating and drinking turn the streets into a festival and many bars extend opening hours.

Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn throws and annual street 2 party. Beastie Boys namecheck it in 1989 song Shadrach.

OCT

nottebiancamalta.com

Devon, UK

englishriviera.co.uk/agathachristie

OCT

atlanticave.org/antic2011

VEGETARIAN FESTIVAL

Phuket, Thailand SEPT-OCT

27-5

According to belief, ditching meat for this period leads to good health and fortune.

phuket.com/festival/vegetarian

AVOCADO FESTIVAL

Carpinteria, US OCT

7-9

100,000 visitors pay homage to the squidgy green fruit.

Rock’n’roll it’s not.

avofest.com

Photos: Getty

The ‘English Riviera’ (that’s Torquay and Paignton) 11-18 celebrates this most English of authors with vintage bus rides, murder mystery dinners, 1930s tea dances and garden parties.

SEPT

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bcn.cat/merce

Valletta, Malta

AGATHA CHRISTIE FESTIVAL

54

DO IT BECAUSE: There are more than 500 activities over the weekend, including swimming races across the harbour, an aerial fighter jet display and light show. Best of all are the giant, paper-mache puppets.

HOW MUCH: Free

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TNT’S SUN & SNOW TRAVEL SHOW

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Travellers planning to get away this winter should stop by the annual TNT Sun & Snow Travel Show. Visitors can expect huge savings and hundreds of fantastic deals at the event, held on Saturday, October 15 at the QEII Centre in Westminster. The event will showcase sun, snow and adventure options, and exhibitors will include ski, adventure, activity and cultural tour operators; hostels in the UK and Europe; and campervan rental companies. Entry is free for those who pre-register at tnttravelshow.com.

Otherwise, pay £2 at the door.

MORGAN FREEMAN IS TOP SAT NAV VOICE

WIN KENYA HOLIDAY ON LONDON CHALLENGE

JOIN DOCU-MAKERS ON OASIS TOUR

Morgan Freeman’s deep soothing voice is a hit with drivers with 44 per cent of opting to be directed by him on sat nav. In a survey of 1350 of its customers, Rhinocarhire.com found that the actor is the most popular GPS sat nav voice, followed by Liz Hurley, David Beckham and Alan Carr. Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson was hailed the preferred celebrity to have as a chauffeur, followed by Formula 1 star Lewis Hamilton and pop princess Cheryl Cole.

Stand a chance of winning a safari holiday to Kenya by taking part in a problem-solving mission in London. Participants who sign up to the Ultimate Londoner urban race on September 18 will crack clues to find secret locations in the capital. The treasure hunt will raise funds for charity Build Africa, which supports primary schools in rural areas of Uganda and Kenya.

Taking part in the race costs £40pp.

See ultimatelondoner.co.uk

Adventure travellers could find themselves on television if they join Oasis Overland’s Nairobi to Cape Town tour next year. Two professional cinematographers will be filming the 73-day trip, which begins in Nairobi on April 16, 2012. Those who book on the trip will receive a copy of the film, which could be broadcast on TV. The tour will pass through nine countries with the chance to see mountain gorillas, and view game in the Serengeti. See oasisoverland.co.uk

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Horsing around: Cheltenham racecourse

EAT, DRINK, SLEEP

Cheltenham

ENGLAND

ENGLAND WALES

Cheltenam London

GETTING THERE Trains go regularly from London Paddington to Cheltenham with First Great Western. A single can cost as little as £15.50 if you book well in advance. Journey time is 2hr15mins (firstgreatwestern. co.uk). For tourist information, see VisitCheltenham.com

Sup up in style at The Daffodil, an old cinema, where diners sit in the former auditorium. Instead of a screen there’s a gaggle of busy chefs to watch – popcorn is optional (thedaffodil.com).

If you can afford it, treat yourself by knocking back some classy French cuisine at Le Champignon Sauvage (lechampignonsauvage.co.uk).

The charming and popular Beehive serves traditional ales, local ciders and fresh local produce. There’s an upstairs restaurant where top dishes include scallops on black pudding or local spring lamb (thebeehivemontpeller.com).

Try J’s Vodka Bar for a lively night out. Vodka.

DJs. I think we both know the dancefloor’s going to get a workout (jsvodkabar.com).

Dorm beds come as cheap as £16pppn at Cheltenham YMCA. Singlesex dorms are available too (cheltenhamymca.com).

Elegant: Cheltenham’s cityscape

Worth a peek: the Pump Room 56

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The Grand Promenade

The recently-refurbished Brennan Guest House is within easy reach of the city’s attractions and has six individuallystyled rooms from £25pppn (brennanguesthouse.co.uk).

UKTRIP

Ham it up Take a trip to the Regency town of Cheltenham for a taste of Bath without the crowds

Photos: VisitCheltenham / David Sellman, Getty, Thinkstock

WORDS DAMIAN HALL

Cheltenham. To most Brits the name says middle-classelegance, sophistication and decadence – horse racing, elitist education and posh people getting pissed. To the few tourists who visit, the Regency town is a Bath without the camera-toting crowds.

Until the 18th century, the market town was fairly run-ofthe-mill, albeit one dating back to 1226. But the discovery of a natural spring in 1716 transformed Cheltenham into Britain’s most popular spa. Scores more medicinal pools were discovered and pump rooms built.

During its halcyon period, a little later, the rich and royal thronged around the waters, many thinking they would be cured of constipation or worms. In 1788, King George III came for five weeks, with his family, to take the water cure.

The city is unheralded in its significant contributions to recent British history.

Edward Wilson, a member of Captain Robert Scott’s much mythologised Antarctic expedition in 1910-13 was from here.

Indeed Scott died with his arm around Wilson. GCHQ, the government’s “intelligence” (read spy) HQ, is here, too.

And the most famous Cheltonian is former Rolling Stones star Brian Jones, who died aged 27. There’s a statue erected in his honour, in the Beechwood Shopping Centre.

Today, it still has some of England’s best-preserved Regency architecture, top restaurants, shopping and its famous races, each March. If you can’t get to the Cotswolds for the races, Cheltenham is still the sort of place you can spend a day wandering around, with more attractions nearby. As a teenager growing up in the Cotswolds, I’d travel 20-plus miles to go shopping and clubbing here. Today, it still has that draw, but I’m more attracted by posh nosh eateries and the chance to do some frog in a blender impressions on a dancefloor.

Regency usually means architecture from the early 19th century, when George IV was Prince Regent, which closely follows a neo-Georgian style. It’s characterised by intricate ironwork balconies and painted stucco facades.

I take a brief but pleasant self-guided walking tour; strolling down the grand, tree-lined Promenade, with its regal houses and expensive shops. Then on to Imperial Square, with welcome greenery and Regency terraces and the Montpellier district for more architectural elegance.

The elegant Pump Room is the largest and last-surviving of the town’s spas and the apotheosis of the city’s heritage, with a big domed roof and giant pillars. The Grade I-listed building, set in lovely Pittville Park, was closed in 2003 because the old Victorian wells had stopped working. But in 2005 the spa waters flowed once more, allowing visitors to taste the unique water, the only alkaline spa water in the country. Today it’s often used for functions and is a uniquely styled concert hall. If you’re after a more contemporary spa treatment, you could try Chapel Spa (chapelspa.co.uk).

There’s also good shopping, eating and nightlife here too

“

You won’t hear carrotmuncher accents here

”

(Revolution Bar, set in an old church, shouldn’t be missed).

Plus it’s a good base for exploring the Cotswolds. If you’ve got your own wheels and fancy seeing some signature, syrup-coloured, quaint villages full of teashops and Middle England complacency, nip from Cheltenham to Broadway, Winchcombe or Chipping Campden.

You won’t necessarily hear many of those gorgeous, carrot-muncher, West Country accents here. For a more localised sound, nip to Gloucester, 10 miles away. It’s cheese to Cheltenham’s chalk and few would consider staying overnight, but it has at least half a day of historical sightseeing.

Settled by the Romans so they could spy on Wales, it was once part of one of the busiest trade routes in Europe, until Bristol started to steal its thunder.

Today it’s rightly proud of its Victorian docks (often seen on the big screen), the magnificent cathedral, the NEXT WEEK surprisingly busy canal and Roman walls still visible in the city centre.

Tarted-up Birmingham Then head back to Cheltenham for shows exactly what it has to offer some fancy nosh and a night out on the Regency tiles.

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57

LATEDEALS

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Egypt: A 13-day King Ramses tour is £424 with On The Go

DEAL OF THE WEEK MOROCCO

£199

Four nights in colourful Marrakech is £199 (save £60) with Travelbag (0871 703 4240; travelbag.co.uk).

Includes flights and half-board accommodation. Departs Oct 10.

< £250

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EGYPT A 13-day King Ramses tour is £424 (save £75) with On The Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Includes the pyramids, Nubian Aswan, the Philae Temple, Nile felucca sailing, Luxor and the Valley of the Kings. Departs Sep 10.

CROATIA Relax on a vintage sailing boat on a seven-night Croatia cruise (beginning and ending in Split) for £336 (was £420) with Topdeck Travel (020 8987 3300; topdeck.travel). Includes cabin accommodation, seven breakfasts and seven dinners. Visit Hvar, Milna, Korcula, Dubrovnik and more. Departs Sep 17.

THE GAMBIA Chill out on a beach by spending seven nights in the resort of Kololi for £499 (save £246) with The Gambia Experience (0845 330 2087; gambia.co.uk). Includes B&B accommodation and flights.

Departs Sep 6.

> £500 EUROPE A 10-day European Horizon tour which explores seven countries is £696 (save £103) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki. com/horizon). Includes Paris, Venice, Munich, Tyrol, the Rhine Valley, the Swiss Alps, Amsterdam and more.

Quote PPCLMD891. Excludes flights.

Departs Sep 11.

JORDAN A six-day Passage to Petra tour is £535 (save £95) with On The Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Includes Roman ruins, bobbing like a cork on the Dead Sea, the Rose City of Petra and a desert safari at Wadi Rum. Excludes flights. Departs Sep 4 and 18.

GREECE A 13-day Greek Island Hopping tour is £1124 (save £125) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki.com/island-hopping).

Includes Athens, Mykonos, Ios, Santorini and more. Excludes flights.

Quote PPCLMD896. Departs Sep 20.

DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily.

There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations.

Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.

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TRANSFER FEES FROM £1 For live transfer rates, visit tntforex.com or call 0870 898 8996

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SCOTLAND Two nights in Edinburgh is £179 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes train travel, transfers, sightseeing with a local guide and B&B accommodation.

Departs Sep 9.

HOLLAND Three nights in Amsterdam is £225 with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes B&B accommodation and flights.

Departs Sep 28.

ISLE OF WIGHT Get back-tonature by going glamping in a Mongolian-style yurt in the Isle of Wight for £65 with Wightlink (0871 376 0013; wightlink.co.uk/ greengetaways). Includes four nights’ accommodation and return car ferry crossings from Portsmouth or Lymington. Price based on four sharing.

Departs Sep 12.

ITALY Three nights in the fashionable city of Milan is £159 with lowcostholidays.com (0800 1116271). Includes B&B accommodation and flights.

Departs Sep 28.

NORTHERN ENGLAND A twoday tour of the Peak District and the historic city of York is £129 with Anderson Tours (020 7436 9304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes B&B accommodation, dinner and transport. Departs Sep 3.

£250 – £500

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HOTSHOTS

LAILA PACHECO

Talks travel photography

WINNER

HOT TIPS: Uneven light

WINNER LOST ON THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SALT FLAT - BOLIVIA Alex Yorke, Australia

WHY IT WORKS The reflections of the people and the cars have given this image a wonderland feel, as if they have been suspended in the sky. I like that it is not a posed shot and you really get the sense of adventure. It’s as though they have lost their way; all pondering over a map, the car door still open, the burnt-in edges, the lightness in the middle. All this commotion adds another element and makes for a compelling image

RUNNER-UP

Harsh and uneven lighting is often unavoidable, especially on a sunny day. It can be frustrating and you may have to blow out at least one part of the image to make the whole thing more even. If you are shooting a portrait, it would be best to blow out the background and make the light falling on to the face even. Blowing out part of the

image can divert your eye and draw attention away from the subject.

This should not be mistaken for dramatic light, which is intended to make an impact visually. When shooting a landscape, try to find the most even spot – shade is always helpful – or just choose somewhere that is fully in the sun, because a patchy image is a distracting image.

PENA PARK, PORTUGAL Sophie Ross, New Zealand

WHY IT WORKS The shaft of light at the top right of the frame leads your eye to the building in the lake, with the rocks in the background acting as a barrier between it and the viewer. Positioning the building to the right has created movement. Colour is subjective, and the light you shoot in will contain hues that will affect the mood of your shot.

A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com).

Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).

RUNNER-UP

WIN

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59

TOP FIVE

1

ROAD TRIPS

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Buoyed by a welcome period of calm following a bloody civil war in the 1990s, Bosnia-Herzegovina’s avalanche of star attractions means it is fast-emerging a top destination for intrepid travellers.

The shampoo-ad-worthy Kravice Waterfall, with its turquoise lagoon and gushing shoots surrounded by luscious poplar trees, is more akin to a scene you’d expect in Hawaii. Go for a dip to cool off.

Mostar, a charming whirl of winding cobbled streets and stone houses, is an essential stop on any tour of the country. The town’s 500-year-old iconic bridge, which was destroyed in 1993 during the war, was painstakingly rebuilt and re-opened in 2004 using 1400 of the original stone bricks. It’s famed for its Speedo-clad divers who leap 25 metres from it into the turbulent waters below.

Capital Sarajevo drips with edgy charm and boasts a stellar nightlife. The assassination of Franz Ferdinand in the city is believed to be the trigger for World War I. In main shopping drag Ferhadija, look out for “Sarajevo Roses”, flower-like scars in the concrete caused by a motor shell’s explosion that has been painted blood-red, memorials to the civilians killed during the four-year siege.

Four nights on the Balkan Road Trip Route 30 tour is £236pp, including two nights in Mostar and two nights in Sarajevo, B&B, a local guide and transport.

BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA

balkanroadtrip.com

TNT

E XC

10%

DIS

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IVE

NT

n america ti la & a k s la a , u s a , c a n ad a

N 21 DAYS SOUTHERN SU e States! d snapshot of th This is one varie e slow moving th st, Ea d ce fast pa Experience the t, with exciting as Co t dback Wes ng, horseback South and the lai fti whitewater ra ng di clu in of es iti activ th the nightlife ng, mingled wi riding and hiki d Las Vegas!

New Orleans an

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TOP FIVE CHECKING IN

2

SCOTLAND

If you like your road trips to be full of painterly landscapes, head up to Scotland for an eyeful of the stuff – think glassy lochs, lush countryside and towering peaks.

Begin in Edinburgh before heading to the Highlands, stopping off at castles and Loch Ness where you can take a boat trip to try to spot the eponymous monster. Seven days’ van hire with Wicked Campers is £58pp based on five sharing, from October 1. wickedcampers.co.uk

Photos: TNT, Getty, Thinkstock, Mustafa Panjeta/Balkan Road Trip

4

AMERICA

Take a leaf out of Jack Kerouac’s book (literally) and take an epic road trip around the US. With the wind in your hair and Elvis providing the soundtrack, opt to pass through the Great Lakes of Missouri, the cacti-strewn desert landscape of Arizona, dreamy Californian beaches and the laid-back south. Cruise along Mother Road Route 66, stopping to re-fuel at diners for creamy malt shakes and juicy hamburgers. trekamerica.co.uk/tnt1

3

SOUTH-WEST IRELAND

Moroccan theme

Find the craic in Ireland’s wild and rugged southwest peninsula. Stay in friendly B&Bs and drink Guinness in local boozers while soaking up the gorgeous views.

Don’t miss Country Clare’s picturesque coast, the cliffs of Moher and the medieval castle at Limerick. Find lively nightlife at Dingle and Cork, and, if you’re a foodie, stop off at culinary capital Kenmare, where you can feast on fresh seafood. discoverireland.ie

5

SPAIN

For a weekend safari with a difference, hire a Vespa and explore the Spanish heartland, just north of Madrid, a littleknown corner of the country.

Stop off at the perfectly preserved medieval village of Pedraza, and 3000year-old hilltop town of Sepulveda, where you can chow down on tapas and get lost in the steep cobbled streets. The three-night Segovia Vespa Expedition tour is £449pp, including Vespa hire for three days and B&B accommodation. awayfromthecrowds.com

ENJOY EU URBAN HOUSE OVERVIEW Sited in the heart of San Sebastian and housed within an historic building, this hostel is just minutes from the beaches and the Old Town where you’ll find the town’s famous restaurants and pintxos (Basque tapas) bars.

WOW FACTOR This friendly and laid-back hostel’s decor has a Moroccan theme, with exotic lamps, bright cushions and mosaic tables. Staff can help organise kayaking, parasailing and diving trips; surfing lessons and bicycle hire.

ROOMS Boasting high ceilings and wooden floors, rooms are brightly painted and attractive with four beds in each dorm. Two of the dorm rooms have balconies which overlook the main boulevard and are the perfect spot to enjoy a bottle of wine with other travellers before a night out.

BILL PLEASE Dorm beds from £22.96pp when booking with hostelworld.com, which offers 25,000 budget accommodation options in 180 countries.

Lolo Urban House, Boulevard 26, 1o izqda, San Sebastian, Spain hostelworld.com

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TRAVELTIPS

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Just deserts: learn about Bedouin culture on a camel trek

@tntmagazine

READERS’ TIPS BRING YOUR OWN TIP If you’re planning to go OF THE travelling for a few months WEEK or more around expensive countries, consider buying a cheap laptop or a netbook. Many hostels, bars and restaurants around the world now offer free wifi for customers, meaning that not only might it be more convenient but it’s probably cheaper than making multiple visits to internet cafes during a long trip.

Anish, via email

YOU ASKED FOR IT...

LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET

always wanted to do a desert Q I’ve crossing for three to five days, with camels or horses in a big group, camping in the desert and learning about nomadic life.

What are the best trips on offer and how much can I expect to pay? Most importantly could you outline some of the main options, for example the Sahara Desert in North Africa or the Gobi desert in Asia.

Pawel, via email can camel trek in a huge number of A You countries, including India, China, Morocco

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most of my trip will be spent in the Russian province, I will also have two days in Moscow. How should I plan those two days to get most out of them? Vitalijs, via email will be a stunning time to visit A September as the autumnal leaves will be turning golden. Red Square is a good place to begin your sightseeing as it is home to a number of Moscow’s most iconic sights. Lenin’s Tomb, St Basil’s Cathedral and the State History Museum can all be found here.

The Kremlin (kreml.ru) could take anywhere between half a day to a whole day, depending on how much you want to take in. The Armoury is a highlight; marvel at weapons, armour and ornate Fabergé eggs. Arrive early to cover as much of it as possible, then get out to explore the rest of the city.

The quaint streets of Kitay Gorod are pleasant to stroll and stop for lunch. Then hop on the historic and ornate metro system to get around the city. Get outside in one of Moscow’s many parks, the Zamoskvorechie area has a few great spots. Explore Soviet history in the Art Muzeon Sculpture Park or take a break from the sensible stuff on the rollercoasters at Gorky Park.

Spend the evening taking in a Russian classic at the Bolshoi theatre or checking out one of Moscow’s renowned nightclubs. Finish off your trip with some shopping in the GUM historic shopping centre.

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This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.

Photos: Thinkstock

and Namibia. As you want to learn about other cultures and nomadic life, I think a Bedouin experience would be perfect. The Sinai region of Egypt is home to the nomadic Bedouin people and is the ideal place to visit to organise this type of trip.

It is important that you find a tour which works with Bedouin people; our guide book for Egypt recommends Man And The Environment (mate-info.com), an environmental education group which arrange treks with Bedouin guides.

Most tours take place in the Bedouin village of Assala, north of Dahab. You will sleep under the stars, help prepare food and care for the camels.

Guiding fees cost from £61pp per day.

Be conscious that conditions in the desert are extreme – at night it can be incredibly cold and the days unbelievably warm.

Plan your packing accordingly but also be advised that it is respectful to wear modest clothing.

the end of September I will be Q At visiting relatives in Russia. Although

OPEN DOORS For those interested in an alternative break without leaving the UK, Scotland has an Open Doors programme running every weekend throughout September.

It gives the public free access to more than 900 properties of architectural or historical interest that are usually inaccessible or normally charge an admission fee. Choose from historic castles, churches, stately homes, wineries, whiskey distilleries, lobster tanks and even former prisons. Note that some of the tours need to be booked in advance.

See doorsopendays.org.uk Maria, via email

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ANACAPRI ISLAND, ITALY Hayley Slocombe, Melbourne, Australia

BEST / WORST TRIP JAROS MALESA, 42

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London, UK

BEST After going to a wedding in Spain, my friend and I drove to Porto, in Portugal, to see the port vineyards and houses, which were great. We then drove to the pretty city of Faro, which is on the coast in the Algarve. It was hot, the beaches were fantastic, the rustic food was delicious and the wine was lovely.

WORST A few years ago, I went snowboarding with some mates in Czech Republic but there was no snow. Many of the slopes were closed, including the restaurants. The slopes that were open had a very thin layer of snow. » Tell us your best/worst trips Email janine.kelso@tntmagazine.com

Your most memorable travel experience?

It’s a cliche, but Mauritius is paradise. I went snorkelling on the coral reef and the fish are so colourful you almost can’t believe they’re real.

Best party you’ve been to?

A beach party in Greece. It was hot and all the clubs and bars along the ocean were open some with foam and lights.

Ideal travel companion.

It would be my crazy cousin. She’ll go anywhere and do anything.

SPLASHING OUT

TURKEY MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY Tucked away in the mountain village of Islamlar, Salkim Evi is a Thai-style villa ideal for couples who want to escape from it all. It has its own swimming pool and decking area with sun loungers.

Photos: TNT

THE TRAVELLER

A seven-night stay is £850pp with Exclusive Escapes (020 8605 3500; exclusiveescapes.co.uk), including flights and car hire.

THE INSIDER

DIYANA JOHANSSON, reservations manager Tucan Travel

The best part of my job is that I get to travel on one of our tours every year.

My most challenging travel experience was getting over my ignorant belief that everyone should speak English even if it is broken. In my defense, this was many years ago!

My favourite place in the world is Mexico for its food, culture, ruins and people.

The next trip on my travel wishlist is India – I think I’m ready for it!

My top travel tip is to be open-minded and embrace other cultures.

I always pack my thongs (flip flops). You can trek in them, dance in them, and dress them up or down.

My guilty travel pleasure is my credit card and living by the motto, “See it, like it, buy it”, because you never know if you’ll be back in that country ever again.

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Start your engines: quad biking across the Sinai

Dahab EGYPT

Cairo Dahab

EGYPT

How bazaar 64

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GETTING THERE September is still peak season so a return ticket to Sharm el-Sheikh will cost you about £400 (easyjet.co.uk). By October or November, you’ll be able to travel return for about £200. From there, catch a bus to Dahab or get a taxi for £25.

Explore the ocean floor

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Red Sea rambling Moses dropped into Dahab while fleeing Egypt – now, the resort town is a haven for divers, thrill-seekers and sun-worshippers WORDS TOM STURROCK

It’s mid-afternoon in the Sinai desert and a cloud of sunscorched yellow dust billows out behind our single file of quad bikes. It’s easy to imagine Moses wandering down one of the parched slopes clutching the fabled Ten Commandments. Today, though, the thrum of our engines tears through the stillness and the silence, our tracks arcing around and between the jagged peaks rising sharply on all sides, as our convoy cuts a swathe through the Holy Land.

The sheer effrontery of it is most gratifying.

We’re a few clicks out of Dahab, on the west bank of the Gulf of Aqaba – on a clear night, Saudi Arabia is visible across the water. Further south, Sharm el-Sheikh is the ‘glamour destination’, slathered in fake tan and dolled up in strappy heels. It hoovers up the tourist dollars – Eastern Europeans, in particular, can’t get enough of it. Dahab, by contrast, is cheaper and more laid-back, a favourite with backpackers and beach bums. Its wide, cobbled streets and beach-side restaurant strip gives it the air of an Arab Byron Bay – a place

“

Dahab has the air of an Arab Byron Bay

The Blue Hole is also one of the most dangerous diving spots – in this region or any other. Dozens of divers have drowned here. The hazard stems from the existence of a tunnel in the reef which leads out into the Red Sea. Divers searching for the tunnel, or ‘the arch’, which is 52m below the surface, can suffer nitrogen narcosis, become disorientated and drown.

There is the local legend of an expert diver who lives locally, known as ‘the Bone Collector’. His services are retained permanently, just so he can come down and ››

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”

where there’s no rush, where you find yourself staying longer than you intended.

Around one last bend, the crooked split in the desert, known as Wadi Connection, reaches a T-junction with a proper paved road. Within minutes, the bleached whitebeige of the desert gives way to the coast, which is protected from development. We pass salt baths, gleaming blue pockets pitted in the sands. Beyond the shore, the water is a shimmering aquamarine, its varying shades layered next to each other like translucent jelly.

The Blue Hole is Dahab’s most popular diving resort and the horseshoe of dry land that wraps around it vibrates with activity. It’s like a beachside bazaar, with camels strolling along the promenade and locals hawking trinkets to tourists.

Cafes and scuba shops overlook the water, either side of a vast pagoda, strewn with cushions and chaise longues offering fleeting refuge from the sun.

EXCURSIONS FROM SHARM AND DAHAB ● Quad

● 1001

● Tiran

biking Island Cruise ● Stargazing, camel ride & Bedouin dinner ● Glass bottom boat trip ● Cairo tour incl pyramids and egyptian museum ● Luxor tour incl Valley of the Kings, Karnak Temple

● Diving

Nights dinner show at Ras Mohammad ● Coloured Canyon safari ● St. Catherine’s Monastery ● Semi submarine trip ● 7 day Cairo & Luxor tour ● Cairo tour incl pyramids and egyptian museum ● 3, 4 or 7 night Nile cruises

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65

retrieve the corpses of those who perish in the watery depths.

Of course, no such risks exist for snorkeling, for those prepared to stick to the safety of the Blue Hole and take in the spectacular marine life that congregates on the reef.

The Blue Hole teems with fish of remarkable hues, an underwater rainbow flitting in and out of sight. Schools of bright orange clownfish dart about the reef’s crannies near the surface, while deeper down, a cluster of tiny shadows, densely packed, hug the reef like sleek, slippery holograms, detectable only when the pink and purple of their fins catches the light. They’re not so shy, either. If you keep the splashing to a minimum, you can get close enough to touch them.

Apparently, Moses and his mates stopped in at Dahab, known then as Di-Zahav, during the Exodus. Given they were wandering in the desert for 40 years, maybe they should have stuck around longer. Who knows? If they had brought their snorkels, they might never have left. ❚ Tom Sturrock travelled with On the Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). On The Go are Egypt and Jordan specialists, who offer year-round group tours from six to 17 days from £299pp.

No local payment or single supplement applies.

Snap up a bargain by the Blue Hole

NEXT WEEK Explore the many and varied charms of Wroclaw, Poland

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

EAT

Dahab’s beachfront is brimming with places to eat and, to be honest, they’re all pretty good and exceptional value. But Ali Baba is a local institution. It doesn’t really have an address, but it’s on Dahab’s main street – you can’t miss it. Start with some delicious dips and then pick out your own fresh seafood (alibaba-dahab.com, 010 19 29 170).

Head to Nirvana for Dahab’s best Indian food – it’s really the only Indian place on the town’s busy waterfront. Get stuck into some authentic curries, samosas and thalis – the portions are enormous – and wash it all down with a cup of chai.

There’s an enormous menu and there’s plenty to keep vegetarians satisfied as well.

Dahab’s top restaurant is Funny Mummy, which is attached to the Sphinx hotel. Like everything in this town, it’s relaxed and laid-back with Bedouin seating, but the food is exquisite. Go for the top-notch seafood and, if you’re lucky, they’ll also be doing one of their gourmet barbecues on the night you show up. (phinxdahab.com)

DRINK

The best-known bar in the middle of Dahab is Mojito, which attracts a friendly mix of tourists and locals.

There’s no attitude or hassle and the food is surprisingly good given the low prices. There’s a balcony that overlooks the beach and the main street of Dahab – it’s a great place to knock back a few cocktails at sunset.

Another Dahab institution is the Yalla Bar. The beer’s cheap but the seafood is restaurant-quality, so it’s a great place to get fed and watered if you spent too much time in the sun that day. All these places are friendly and chaotic, and the Yalla Bar is no exception, allowing drinkers to wander down to the sand with their beers (yallabar.com).

If you want a more up market nightcap, then it’s hard to go past the bars at the Meridien Hotel.

Outside, there’s a bar and restaurant with plenty of shade but also bags of space. Inside, there’s a sleek cocktail lounge with spectacular views of the entire resort as well as the Gulf of Aqaba stretching out beyond (lemeridiendahab.com).

SLEEP

Dahab has stacks of backpacker accommodation – you can find a place within 30 seconds of getting into town. Check out Penguin Village – you can get a bed for about £3 per night but there’s a discount if there’s a group of four of you. It’s safe and clean and they also lay on activities (penguindahab. com, 069 36 41 047).

If you want a bit more privacy and a stunning beachside location without breaking the bank, check out Divershouse. It caters for people who want to spend their time in Dahab chasing the fish and is about 15 metres from the Red Sea. It’s simple but comfortable and you’ll be paying about £7 per person per night (dahab.net).

The sprawling Dahab Mercure just outside the middle of Dahab is one of the most luxurious places to stay, and double rooms are available from £50 per night. There’s a gorgeous swimming pool but if you’ve got a taste for saltwater, you can vernture down to the sands and take advantage of the resort’s private beach (mercure.com).

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Photos: TNT; Getty

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TRAVELWEEKENDER

Coasting along This is Gower in 48 hours WORDS JANINE KELSO

DAY 1: 09:00 Chow down on a full Welsh breakfast after spending the night at 19th-century hunting lodge-turnedB&B Parc-le-Breos (parc-le-breos.co.uk), set on 70 acres of manicured parkland, within striking distance of the village of Parkmill. B&B costs £37pppn.

10:00 Take a stroll. Designated an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty in 1956, the Gower is a 15-mile stretch of coastline that boasts a bucketful of stunning beaches, rugged cliffs and rocky outcrops, the perfect spot for walkers and photographers.

11:00 Delve into the life of Wales’ most celebrated poet, Dylan Thomas, at a permanent exhibition of his life at The Dylan Thomas Centre (dylanthomas.com), stuffed full of books, posters and memorabilia.

12:00 Visit the area’s most fabled rock, King Arthur’s Stone, in Cefn Bryn, a massive boulder which dates back to 2500 BC. According to legend, King Arthur found a rock in his shoe which he hurled from Llanelli to Cefn Bryn, where it swelled with pride after being touched by such a great man.

13:00 Feeling adventurous? Feast on cockle and laverbread (cooked seaweed) bake, a Welsh delicacy, at the 18th-century The Dolphin Inn, in Llanrhidian, which also offers a wide selection of ales. Sit in the garden to watch birds of prey and wild horses.

15:00 Grab a board and spend the afternoon surfing in Rhossili Bay which picks up any swell going. Waves tend to be mellow and small, so the beach is a favourite with longboarders. There are occasional fast waves that are good 68

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for shortboarders too. If you want to take a lesson, get in touch with surf school GSD (surfgsd.com), which offers courses for all ability levels. In summer, keep your eyes peeled for paragliders who land on the beach. If surfing doesn’t float your boat, Rhosilli also offers windsurfing, hang gliding and rock climbing.

17:00 After an arduous session in the surf, watch the sunset while treating yourself to a pint at the nearby Worm’s Head Hotel (thewormshead.co.uk), which affords awardwinning views over Rhossili Bay and Worm’s Head, a small tidal island. If you’re feeling peckish, the hotel has a topnotch restaurant which serves up Gower lobster and crab, sea bass and sea trout, as well as locally sourced meat dishes.

20:00 If you’re not to exhausted, you can find a hotbed of fun on The Kingsway and Wind Street, a hub of jumping bars and superclubs. If you prefer live bands and indie music, swing by Sin City (sincityclub.co.uk).

DAY 2: 10:00 Explore the area’s gorgeous coast on horseback by going pony trekking. Ride along open moorland and white-sand beaches, backed by grey limestone cliffs. Anyone from beginners to experienced riders can book classes with Parc-Le-Breos, where everyone helps to groom and tack up their horses. Half a day’s ride (from 10am-1pm) costs £33pp.

13:30 Head to the picture-perfect village of Parkmill for lunch at stylish eatery Maes-yr-haf (maes-yr-haf.com).

A three-course set meal is £19.95, served Tuesday to Saturday from 12pm and 2pm. Mains include duck leg and panfried cod, while desserts include rice pudding parfait and

Photos: Wales Tourist Board, Getty

Ride the waves: Rhossili Bay

white chocolate panacotta. You can also stay in the stylish boutique hotel’s luxurious double rooms from £140pn.

14:30 Walk from Parkmill to Three Cliffs Bay, a beach described by Welsh songstress Katherine Jenkins as giving her “the feeling of being hugged”, and the winner of numerous popularity polls for its dazzling good looks.

The stroll will take you past golf links, the ruins of 12th century Pennard castle and moorland where wild ponies roam. Only accessible on foot via a steep set of stairs, the bay is gloriously remote and unspoilt. It’s even been used as the backdrop for several music videos. The 20-metre limestone cliffs offer 20 easy routes for rock climbers.

At low water, walk from Three Cliffs to the equally pretty Pobbles Bay. 16:30 Try your hand at the fast-growing sport of kiteboarding. A one-hour lesson costs £15 with Gower Kite Riders (gowerkiteriders.com).

20:00 Enjoy a night out in Gower’s nearest big city, Swansea. Follow in the footsteps of local girl Catherine Zeta Jones and hubbie Michael Douglas who recently dined out at Italian restaurant Gallini’s (gallinisrestaurant. co.uk) which overlooks the marina. You won’t have to pay A-list prices though – mains cost from £13 and desserts from £4.75.

Travel by train with First Great Western to Swansea from London Paddington (3h) from £86 return firstgreatwestern.co.uk Take a coach from Victoria Station to Swansea (4h35mins) with National Express from £25.80 return nationalexpress.com

Bit of culture: the Dylan Thomas Centre

Rock out: King Arthur’s Stone TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Asking to be climbed: Table Mountain

Cape Town SOUTH AFRICA

Johannesburg

SOUTH AFRICA

Cape Town

High life: tandem skydiving 70

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GETTING THERE Fly direct from London to Cape Town with South African Airways (flysaa.com) from £630 return. Direct flights with British Airways (britishairways.com) start from £799. Fly indirect with Etihad from £545 return (etihadairways.com)

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BIGTRIP

Cape extreme You don’t have to be an adrenaline junkie, history buff, fashionista or wine lover to fall for South Africa’s mother city. But it helps ...

WORDS ADAM EDWARDS

WHEN TO GO: The South African summer is between A squeal of confused excitement goes up huddle around tables to watch the comings November and March. among the other surfers treading water and goings in the street below. Leaning offshore. What looks like a fin edges above against the wrought-iron balustrades, with CURRENCY: Rand. the surface, snaking between my friends live music and laughter ringing in my ears, 1 GBP = R11.5. and I. My over-active imagination kicks I feel like I’m in New Orleans’ French Quarter ACCOMMODATION: A dorm into overdrive: “This is it,” I say to myself, bed at South Boutique Backpackers during Mardi Gras, rather than Africa on expecting my life to flash before my eyes. a week-night. As the band starts to hit its (book through hostelworld.com) But before I know what’s happening, I’m stride, however, I decide to call it a night, costs £6, while a dorm bed at The screaming excitedly to my friends, pointing and head back to my digs for some muchBackpack & Africa Travel Centre at the blackish-brown object slipping through costs £10. A double room at The needed shuteye. the water.

I’m staying a short taxi-ride away in Tulip Hotel & Conference Centre “Look,” I yell, just as a tiny pup leaps Observatory – a bohemian suburb packed costs £28 (hotelclub.com). out of the water. “A baby sea lion.” The with buzzing hole-in-the-wall bars, shabbySEE: capetown.travel, excitement reaches fever pitch as the bugchic cafes and restaurants where you can sharkcagediving.co.za, eyed scamp swims within a whisker’s length enjoy anything from a quiet coffee over skydivecapetown.za.net and of us, flippers twirling, lapping up the a book or a sumptuous three-course meal for addoelephant.com attention. “Only in Cape Town,” I tell people less than a tenner to a rowdy night dancing afterwards – a cheesy sentiment, but the Coyote Ugly-style on the bar, depending on so-called ‘LA of Africa’ is one of those rare places that what takes your fancy. actually lives up to the gushing travel reviews.

The next morning, I wake up at the crack of dawn itching Mediterranean climate, exhilarating mix of cultures, to hit the beach. From Observatory, it’s a 30-minute drive to laid-back pace, and some of the best waves in the southern the premier wind- and kite- surfing hotspots at Kalk Bay and hemisphere are just a few of the reasons which have me nearby Muizenberg – scene of my nose-to-nose encounter coming back year after year. with the Cape Fur Seal pup – apparently they just look like My friends, on the other hand, are drawn by the hairsea lions. raising activities the Cape region has to offer – I quickly After a few hours of pounding Muizenberg’s waves, we discover this when they start producing pamphlet after decide to head down the coast to Kalk, and grab lunch at the pamphlet, as we settle down for lunch at one the smart Brass Bell – an open-sided restaurant-cum-bar that I manage bistros that line the historic V&A Waterfront. to drift back to every time I’m in the city.

Thankfully, the troupes of fire-breathers, jugglers and Bikini-clad beauties and bronzed gods sit at rustic picnic traditional African dancers battling it out on the quayside tables exchanging stories of their day’s exploits over some of offer a welcome distraction, and the conversation soon the best – and most reasonably priced – grub in the city. moves on. But it’s not long before talk turns to climbing Gentle waves lap against the restaurant walls, sending Table Mountain, the soaring flat-topped mountain that a refreshingly cool spray into the air, and I ponder chilling looms above the city, and before I know what’s happening, out here for the rest of the day – but the promise of seeing I find myself on a three-hour slog up this 3,500ft (1000m) the pint-sized Jackass penguins further down the coast at Everest. (Just thinking about it makes my legs ache.)

Boulders Beach proves just too alluring.

Cock-a-hoop at conquering such a mammoth challenge, The waters in this part of the Cape, known as False Bay, my friends and I catch a cab to Long Street, in the heart of may be home to animals more typically associated with the city centre, for a few well-deserved drinks. Packed bars Antarctica than Africa, but this stretch of coast is actually and clubs overflow on to mezzanine verandas, and people the warmest in Cape Town. ›› TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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Hip: Long Street’s Cape to Cuba bar

Head for heights? Try zip-wiring However, if you don’t mind your surf bracing, the Atlantic coast has some of the best waves. In the South African summer (Nov-Mar), Kommetjie’s Sunset Reef even boasts some of the biggest waves in the world, which on good days can reach a bone-crushing 25ft (eight metres).

The sight of the comical penguins waddling on the beach and swimming among the bathers has me in hysterics. My pals, on the other hand, are preoccupied with thoughts of the seabirds’ mortal enemies – the waters off Cape Town are home to one of the largest populations of Great White sharks in the world and, unbeknown to me, they’re planning a cagedive with these toothy predators.

I manage to give this excursion a wide birth – I’ve seen Jaws too many times to be dangled over the side of a boat like giant bait - although I end up cursing myself when I see that they’ve still got all of their limbs intact.

“The sharks come so close to the cage,” my friend Frank enthuses, adding salt to the wound. “They just appear out of nowhere and start circling around the boat, before swimming right up to the bars for a closer look.

“It’s such a weird experience. There is literally just a few inches of metal separating you from all those teeth.”

Buoyed by his brush with death, Frank and the others plan a skydive over the city.

Later that week, a private transfer whisks them to an airstrip half an hour north of the city, and while I thumb my way through one of Desmond Tutu’s biographies by the pool, they are climbing 9,000ft above the peninsular, excitedly pointing out the landmarks beneath them.

“It’s the most fantastic way to see the city,” my friend Claire says. “We could see Robben Island and the ocean dotted with 72

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Top day out: Addo Elephant National Park boats, and Table Mountain towering over the city on the other side of the bay.

“And the jump itself was unforgettable. After freefalling for 30 seconds, the instructor pulled the shoot and we slowly drifted back down to Earth. It was so quiet.”

With the adrenalin now well and truly pumped, all sights are set on the world’s highest commercial bungee jump – a gravity defying 216-metre drop– a few hours drive from the city along the tourist-clogged Garden Route.

Death-defying: dive with sharks

With this in mind, my friends and I decide to hire a car and set out along this spectacular drive, and it’s not long before I discover why South Africa’s answer to Route 66 is so popular: it’s the sheer number of sights and activities on offer, including dune boarding at De Hoop, black-water tubing down Storms River, zip-wiring though the forests of Tsitsikamma, ostrich racing in Oudtshoorn and whale-watching at Hermanus.

I summon up the courage to go zip-wiring, and spend an unforgettable afternoon whizzing through the forest canopy like a crack-SAS soldier.

My trip along the coast takes me as far as Addo Elephant National Park – home to the largest concentration of elephants on the planet – where I book a guided night-safari to witness Africa’s big game in their eerie nocturnal world.

Driving through the bush, the driver scans the darkness with his industrial-strength torch, wisely ignoring the incandescent eye-shine of the antelope and kudu standing agape by the side of the road.

Suddenly, he cuts the engine. After a tense few minutes a pride of lions emerges from the shadows, encircling our jeep. As the rest of the passengers and I watch in awe, gripped by the same rush of adrenaline and fear as a scary movie in a blackened cinema, a crackled message comes over the radio.

“

Myrna van Pinxteren, Cape Town resident

The Insider's guide

I whizz along like a crack SAS soldier

Myrna van Pinxteren, a freelance writer and master’s student based in Cape Town, reveals her favourite hangouts.

Before I understand what’s happening, we’re off in hot pursuit of something else. After a few twists and turns, the driver slams on the brakes once more and out of the darkness appear a herd of more than 60 elephant marching trunk to tail. It is the perfect end to my jaunt up-country.

Back in Cape Town, I spend my last few days flitting between Long Street and the beach, before deciding that it’s only polite to drop by some vineyards – “when in Rome”.

I make a beeline for the Boschendal estate near the picturesque town of Franschhoek and while away a blissful couple of hours sipping wine under a spanning oak tree, before continuing the “vineyard crawl” with a visit to Spier, near the historic town of Stellenbosch. ››

Where do you go to chill out?

I usually meet my friends for half-price cocktails in the city centre. We tend to head to Kloof Street – there are fewer tourists here and the drinks are a lot cheaper than they are on Long Street or the Waterfront. Buzz Cafe is one of my particular favourites, it’s really chilled out and serves delicious food and cocktails. Plus, it has great views of Table Mountain. Then, we tend to go to this old cinema nearby called Labia. It’s a really odd little place – it used to be the ballroom of the Italian Embassy and doubles up as a café too – but I love the nostalgic feel of the place. They usually show art films rather than mainstream movies, but a lot of local people prefer it as you can take your own drinks and it’s a lot more relaxed.

”

What are some of Cape Town’s other little-known gems?

One of the best things about the city is the range and quality of food on offer. For instance, Cape Town has some great sushi joints. Beluga on Waterkant Street is one of my favourites, while I love the Asian-fusion menu at Asoka – a swish cocktail lounge-cum-bistro on Kloof Street. The Royale Eatery on Long Street is great for fancy burgers, and there’s a rustic restaurant in Observatory called Café Ganesh that’s serves hearty South African grub.

Where’s good for an adventure?

The area around Paternoster and Langebaan, 90 minutes north of Cape Town, is a great place to spend a few days with friends. When I was there last, my mate and I camped right next to the sea at Tietiesbaai where we could hear whales frolicking in the surf from our tent at night. This stretch of coast is also great for wind- and kitesurfing, kayaking, sailing, mountain biking, horse riding and hiking. Plus, at Langebaan you can go scuba diving with seals or explore the shipwrecks off the coast.

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My friends and I stock up on vino and head back into the city to watch the sunset from Lion’s Head, the sphinx-shaped hill that flanks Table Mountain.

After an hour-or-so climb, we finally make it to the top and crack open a bottle of Boschendal just as the setting African sun dips into the Atlantic.

The others start reminiscing about the best part of their adrenaline-fuelled holiday, while I slip into my own little world and start planning my next action-packed visit. I just hope I’ll have discovered my inner daredevil come this time next year. ❚

Hang out with the penguins

A tandem skydive is £130 skydivecapetown.za.net Shark diving is £115 sharkcagediving.co.za Bungee jumping is £65 faceadrenalin. com An elephant-back safari is £85

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Festival fever: Cape Minstrels Carnival

PARTY TOWN DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

CAPE MINSTRELS CARNIVAL WHEN: January 2, 2012 WHAT: This emancipation celebration is the highlight of Cape Town’s cultural calendar. The mixed-race community – who form the racial majority in Cape Town – spend months rehearsing their dance steps and creating their outlandish suits in preparation for the noisy Mardi Gras-style parade.

SEE: capetownminstrels.co.za

Take a leap: bungee jumping

THE CAPE TOWN CARNIVAL WHEN: March 17, 2012 WHAT: Bollywood dancers vie with Zulu “warriors” and man-made giraffes for the crowd’s attention. This unusual festival is part Rio Carnival, part Lion King: The Musical – with a dash of Oktoberfest thrown in for good measure. At its heart, though, is the simple aim of bringing Cape Town’s various races together for a night of fun and revelry.

SEE: capetowncarnival.com

NEXT WEEK Stopovers: the best places to take a break on the way to Australia and NZ Cape Town Harbour

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Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, White Shark Diving Company, Skydive Cape Town

OBSERVATORY FESTIVAL OF ARTS WHEN: December 5-7, 2011 WHAT: This bohemian neighbourhood is transformed into a giant festival-ground during the weekend-long music, arts and film event. Observatory’s main streets are given over to live performances, gigs and market stalls as the largest street-festival in southern Africa kicks into full swing.

SEE: obsarts.org.uk

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DESPERATELYSEEKING already threatened to shut down due to your departure, and Thorpe Park will never be the same. You have made London a more rocking place and we will miss you like you can’t even imagine.. Keep fist pumping and we hope you make lots of “Australia frieeendsss”! We better see you next summer or we will ring you and make you talk about your feelings!Love Abmeister (and everyone else – we would need a whole pull-out section of TNT to list all your London Buddies! *CHEESY*)

THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES

#442 Keep it real at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Bro: It’s really not hard to put some bloody chicken in the bin...

It’s been good having you around, although it might be nice to have a break from the constant house party! I’ll see you sooner than we both think.

To the London crew: When I first arrived in this cold, stuck up city in the early Noughties, little did I know I’d be here for more than a decade. But this place has a way of getting under your skin and I’ve made the best bunch of friends I could ever have hoped for. I’m truly gutted to be leaving you all. But my I leave with a head full of amazing

DATING

If you’re looking for

love romance friendship... or just

114 TNTMAGAZINE.COM

memories and will miss you all heaps. It’s been a blast Keep in touch, love and kisses Cherry Baby.

Goodbye James: if you love something, as the saying goes, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, hunt it down and kill it.

Ha ha, just kidding, James. I always knew this wasn’t forever and that you would one day want to head back Down Under. Just don’t sully our memory by going back to being a bogan or hooking up with that trollope of an ex-girlfriend of yours.

Anyway, I just know we’ll meet

again, don’t know where, don’t know when but it will be when you least expect it. Alexis Ian Brown, A memory: A smile slips across my perfectly painted lips as I remember the taste of him. His tongue, at first an eager explorative tourist was soon to become as skilled as a native. A deeply inhaled breath fills my lungs as I remember the smell of him- the acquired scent of sweat and sex. I exhale. A hint of red as my palms press against his body. I remember touching him. Ian. via facebook.

To the hunky, spunky man: who took a chance on a date with a

@tntmagazine

cougar – I’m not embarrassed that my vibrator fell out of my bag when I was rooting (geddit?) around for my cigarettes. But you evidently were. Call me... Please?!

Super designer: What are we going to do without you now? You were always such a cheerful, lovely person to have around and were endlessly helpful and patient when we (well, mostly me) got ourselves into sticky situations. Good luck for the future.

You deserve all the best. Wherever you end up, their gain will be our loss. Believe me, we’re already feeling it. All the best. The gals.

Marty: Looking forward to you making landfall here next month.

Hope you’re in party mode cos we’re gonna paint the town, not just red, but all the colours of the bloody rainbow. I’ve already got a stonking list of club nights, gigs and general drunken mayhem lined up for the both of us. Hope your liver is ready for it. You’re not gonna know what’s hit you. Jarred Where oh where have all the hairy women gone?: I’m a normal nice, great-looking guy with a good job but I just can’t seem to score myself a hairy woman. Is it really too much to ask? All the girls who like me refuse to grow their body hair for me, they reckon it’s disgusting and that I’m gross for asking. Come on girls, it’s natural! It’s beautiful! Let it all hang out. Bill.

To the wanker who nearly ran me off the road this morning: I hope an articulated lorry goes over your stupid smart car like a Russian tank. Then you’ll know how it feels. Smart cars stupid drivers, I always say. Mu.

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Squeaky: Thanks for dealing with all the madness, for the impromptu pre-date pep talks, for being my wardrobe mistress and for letting me tell you exactly what I’ve eaten every day. Don’t know what I’d do without you. From Wheeaky!

Barbaloo: Once again you’ve stepped up and been my rock through some stormy seas recently.

Always patient, forgiving and supportive, I couldn’t ask for more in a first mate. I’m sorry if I’m an irrational biatch at times and fly off the handle without notice at your dirty undies on the floor, I swear the English drive me to it! I’m incredibly lucky to have someone as amazing (and sexy!) as you are.

Pick me up from the station later?

Foxy and I will make it worth your while…Your captain, Meowsy A Farewell Poem: Your final month of Londontown/ Time to hang up that festival crown.

It’s been your home the last 3 years!/Now it’s time to move on... prepare for tears/You’ve cartwheeled, you’ve handstanded, you’ve been a human pyramid...

I’m not going to lie, you’ve been one crazy kid!/ You’re our camera man, photographer, our own private paparazzi/What will we do without our photo Nazi!/ Surprises to come of that you can be sure/ Wave goodbye to this Nichols/ London can’t cope with you no more!/ We love you petal but we’ll see you in Melbs. Love the girls, not many of us left now... JB, Miss Pollock and Princess Porter!

SHAZ!: Well London may as well shut up shop because you are leaving us! Shut the walkie, Belushi’s can stop their £2 drink special, the Reddy – well they have

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