1568

September 16-22 2013 Issue 1568 tntmagazine.com

LONDON LOVES AUSSIE ART Inside the Royal Academy of Arts’ Australia exhibit

THE PSYCHO ON STAGE

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GOURMET SOCIETY MEMBERSHIP & A WINE TASTING EXPERIENCE!

Patrick Bateman sings and more new theatre

BEST EVER BEER FESTS Oktoberfest isn’t the only place to have frothy fun

C I G A M L A ANIM n’t miss ! o d : s y a id l o otting h p s e f i l ld i w top The world’s

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free aNNual CuIsINe Card Take advantage of huge deals on London’s top restaurants with this discount card which boasts the likes of the Rainforest Cafe, Shaka Zulu and Tiger Tiger. The first 100 VIPs will bag an annual membership with Cuisine Card.

free 8th day adveNture This sport, adventure and social club which hosts hundreds of events every year is offering the first 30 myTNT VIPs free annual membership worth £140.

After that, VIPs will benefit from 2-4-1 savings on all membership prices.

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LAURA CHUBB EDITOR laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

EDITOR’S LETTER There are loads of great reasons to go out and get cultured in London this autumn, and this week we’re bringing you the best of them. First up is the massive Australia show at the Royal Academy of Arts, showing that Aussie artists are more than a match for their celebrated European contemporaries (P22). Then there’s the exciting new season of theatre set for the city’s boards, from a drama by Tori Amos to a musical version of American Pyscho. We kid you not. More on P6.

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NEWS COMPETITION Photos: Thinkstock; National Gallery of Australia: Ned Kelly (Gift of Sunday Reed, 1977)

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FEATURES SINGING PSYCHO

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Patrick Bateman stars in a musical and more exciting new London theatre

ARTY OZ

The Royal Academy of Arts’ Australia exhibit bigs up the best Aussie painters

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TNT checks out Bulgaria’s Plovdiv for an off the beaten path bohemian city break

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Editorial Group editor Carol Driver Editor Laura Chubb Content editors: Sub/ Sport Michael Gadd Entertainment Alasdair Morton Web Oliver Jones Social media Dan Thorne Contributor Caroline Garnar

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Storm: Cameron Smith and Bill Slater were stars for last year’s NRL Premiers, Melbourne

Shhh... SECRET LONDON afl and nrl grand finals screenings fulham

The next best thing to being there at the biggest day of the year for your chosen footy code is to be in an atmosphere-packed pub with your mates. Where could you get that in London for the upcoming AFL and NRL grand finals? Glad you asked – you can catch every kick, pass, tackle and bullshit call from the ref/ump at Elk Bar. TNT has teamed up with the Fulham sport and booze haven for both grand finals (AFL Sep 28 and NRL Oct 6).

Bonus points for those in full footy get-up – the best-dressed will get a £50 bar tab. £10

AFL Sep 28, 4.30am; NRL Oct 6, 7.30am Elk Bar, SW6 5UA Fulham Broadway

bedtime stories

ceramics in the city fair

joy division reworked

One of London’s most celebrated nights returns for its autumn run, kicking off with a two-night Celestial Nights, which sees famed storytellers Nell Phoenix and Sally Pomme Clayton spinning yarns of when the gods and goddesses ruled from up high over us pesky mortals down on earth.

This annual fair sees more than 50 ceramicists from across the UK, both leading names and up-and-coming talent, display their work.

Everything from tableware, lighting and domestic objects to more obscure and offbeat creations will be on offer, with prices starting around £10 for small items.

Live Transmission is an audio-visual electro-orchestral interpretation of the legendary post-punk band Joy Division by electronic music pioneer Scanner, the Heritage Orchestra and visual artist Matt Watkins.

It well and truly turns on its head the notion of what a normal gig is.

Sep 18 & 19, 7pm 40 Winks, 109 Mile End Road, E1 4UJ Stepney Green 40winks.org

Sep 20-22, 10am-5pm Geffrye Museum, 136 Kingsland Road, E2 8EA Hoxton geffrye-museum.org.uk

Sep 21, 7pm Royal Festival Hall, SE1 8XX Waterloo joydivisionreworked.com

£30

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tntmagazine.com/afl “Vaya con dios, brah”: Reeves and Swayze in the classic Point Break

SURF BREAKS CINEMA NIGHT Central London

Surf club London Surf Breaks brings you this hot tub movie night. There will be a load of surfing videos and shorts screening but mostly, it is all about the main event – extreme sports action bromance classic Point Break, starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Ticket includes a welcome drink, hot tub for the movie with cocktail waitress service and the all important post-flick after party as well. £32

Sep 17, 6.30pm EC2A 3NN Shoreditch High Street

AUSTRALIA: PEOPLE & PLACES

THE BIG FAT MEGA FUN QUIZ

The Rebecca Hossack Gallery is putting on this survey of contemporary Aussie art looking at the relationship between the land and its people.

Melbournite Hossack, an expert on Aboriginal art, curates this exhibition featuring paintings, prints, photos and sculptures by Arthur Boyd, Fred Williams, and many more.

The Backyard Comedy club hosts this monthly quiz with a difference. Rather than testing your general knowledge you’ll also be quizzed on your creative skills in a variety of rounds, with all four of your senses put to the test. You won’t win by Googling the answers when no one’s looking.

FREE

Photos: Getty

londonsurfbreaks.com

Sep 19-Oct 26, Mon-Sat, 10am6pm W1T 6BA Warren Street rebeccahossack.com

£2

Sep 22, 8pm 231 Cambridge Heath Road, E2 Cambridge Heath 0EL backyardbar.co.uk

LOADS OF SCREENS

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WIN £50 BAR TAB BEST DRESSED CO MP! COME IN YOUR FULL FOOTY KIT ESPRESSO MARTINIS - £3.50 BUNDERBERG RUM & COKE - £2.95 3 JAGER BOMBS - £12 ELK BAR, 587 FULHAM ROAD, LONDON, SW6 5UA • TUBE: FULHAM BROADWAY DOORS OPEN 4:30AM • KICK OFF 5:30AM

Soulful: the cast of new musical The Commitments

Break a leg A new season of theatre is about to kick off in London, with the most diverse range of productions the capital’s seen for some time This autumn brings a wealth of new shows to the boards of London, from movie adaptations to Shakespeare reinventions, by way of revivals and grandstanding musicals. You’ll be able to see everything from American Psycho told through song to singer Tori Amos’s drama about a floating princess.

And it’s all being led by the arrival of The Commitments, the musical adapted for the stage by Roddy Doyle from his own 1987 novel, and it is set to bring the tale to a whole new generation.

Roddy Doyle’s novel tells of a group of unemployed friends in Dublin in the late Eighties who set up a soul band, The Commitments. The story follows their struggles to make it together as a group, and their various relationships as they make their way in life.

It was a resounding hit, so too the feature film it spawned four years later and the soundtrack that went to the number two spot in Australia and the top spot in New Zealand.

Taking to the stage here, the production has cast a group of upand-coming talent, much like the fictional band, many of whom are making their West End debuts, some 6

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even their professional acting debuts – the cast sharing that same hunger as their on-stage characters. “I’ve been sitting in rehearsals, watching these terrific young people becoming The Commitments,” says Doyle.

Killian Donnelly is lead singer Deco, Denis Grindel is band manager Jimmy Rabbitte, and Sarah O’Connor, one of three finalists in [Irish TV network] RTE’s Fame – The Musical, plays Imelda, one of the band’s backing singers.

“I knew the film from when I was little, most Irish people know the film, you get brought up with it,” says 22year old Dubliner O’Connor, born the year the movie was released.

“I had read the novel, but when I found out the auditions were coming up I read the book. The differences between that and the film are small, but having the novel is great for references for characters and details you might not have in the script,” she adds, while deep in the midst of rehearsals for the soon-to-preview show.

She also reveals that having Doyle on hand has given the cast an insight not usually found behind the scenes of West End shows. “To have Roddy in the

rehearsal room all the time is great,” O’Connor says. “And if you have any issues you can just go straight to the source. And even if you have a body movement or an ad-lib that doesn’t make sense, he’ll go, ‘They didn’t really say that back in the Eighties!’”

So what has Doyle himself made of the young cast taking his novel to the London stage?

“I’m hearing them sing, I’m watching them play their instruments, and it all makes me very happy and excited,” he says of the newbies about to become The Commitments.

“What amuses me the most is the fact that only one of them was born when I wrote the novel!”

With director Jamie Lloyd – who wowed audiences earlier this year with the James McAvoy-starring Macbeth – on board too, it is set to be an explosive start to the new season.

MORE AUTUMN THEATRE ››

The Commitments. Sep 21-Jan 26. £10+ Palace Theatre, W1V 8AY Piccadilly Circus thecommitmentslondon.com

Photos: Helen Maybanks; Trevor Leighton

Words alasdair morton

Classic: the 1991 movie adaptation of Roddy Doyle’s novel

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the lyons menier chocolate factory

american psycho: the musical almeida theatre

Hilarious and heartbreaking, Nicky Silver’s family drama tells of dying father Ben Lyons, whose family attend his side as he succumbs to terminal cancer in a hospital bed. Rather than an outpouring of love though, it’s bitterness, betrayal and secrets that unfold as the family that never got on faces up to why.

Brett Easton Ellis’s debut novel, a raging satire of 80s America, was said to be unfilmable, but Mary Harron turned it into the pretty excellent Christian-Bale-starring flick.

It now undergoes further transformation and makes the jump not just to the stage, but with songs too as a hotly anticipated musical thriller, with Patrick Bateman continuing to wear the sharpest suits, go to the best bars and restaurants, and kill his way around the streets of Manhattan.

£27.50+

Sep 19-Nov 16, Tue-Sat, 8pm.

Sat & Sun, 3.30pm 53 Southwark Street, SE1 1RU London Bridge menierchocolatefactory.com

£10+

let the right one in the royal court theatre TV writer Jack Thorne (This Is England ‘90) adapts Swede John Ajvide Lindqvist’s 2004 novel about a lonely young teenage boy and the strange vampire he befriends. If this all sounds a little Twilight, think again.

Tomas Alfredson’s 2007 movie refused to scale back much of the novel’s darker aspects – most likely as Lindqvist penned the screenplay too – and the US remake maintained much of this fidelity. It’ll be fascinating to see how Thorne gets on. £10+

Dec 3-Jan 25, 2014, 7.30pm Almeida Street, N1 1TA Highbury & Islington almeida.co.uk

Nov 29-Dec 21, Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Thur & Sat, 2.30pm SW1W 8AS Sloane Square royalcourttheatre.com

tory boyz ambassadors theatre

the scottsboro boys young vic theatre

The National Youth Theatre presents this update of James Graham’s (This House) production, which goes behind the scenes and into the corridors of Westminster to peek at the machinations that go on behind closed doors as deals are made, political power plays staged and the odd scandal avoided.

Kander and Ebb, the creators of Chicago and Cabaret, bring their 12 Tony-Award-winning Broadway show to the West End. It’s about the 1931 trial of nine black teenagers in Alabama for rape, a trial that shook a nation.

A contemporary musical theatre classic.

£12+

from here to eternity shaftesbury theatre This classic 1953 drama starred the likes of Burt Lancaster and Frank Sinatra. Its tale of a trio of servicemen stationed on Hawaii in the run up to the Pearl Harbour attacks in the Second World War won no fewer than eight Oscars.

Musical theatre legend Tim Rice (above) will be hoping that his new musical take on the story, which is one of this season’s biggest and most anticipated new openings, will be able to conjure some of that magic.

Should be interesting. £15+

Sep 30-Apr 26, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Wed & Sat, 2.30pm WC2H 8DP Holborn shaftesburytheatre.com

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Sep 23-Nov 29, times and dates vary West Street, WC2H 9ND Leicester Square theambassadorstheatre.co.uk

barking in essex wyndham’s theatre Funnyman Lee Evans stars in this broad family-gangster comedy. £19+

Until Jan 4, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Thur & Sat, 2.30pm WC2H 0DA Leicester Square delfontmackintosh.co.uk

£10+

Oct 18-Nov 23. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm.

Wed & Sat, 2.30pm 66 The Cut, SE1 8LZ Waterloo youngvic.org

henry V noel coward theatre

A stunning love story about a Turkish girl who moves to London to start her life afresh.

The fifth and final production in Michael Grandage’s season that has already seen David Walliams star in the Bard’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Now it is the turn of Hollywood actor Jude Law (above) to take on the lead role in Shakespeare’s drama about the English monarch and his campaign against the French.

Oct 1-26. Mon-Sat, 7.45pm.

Thu & Sat, 3pm SW1 2DY Charing Cross trafalgar-studios.co.uk

Nov 23-Feb 15, 2014. Mon-Sat 7.30pm. Wed & Sat, 2.30pm WC2N 4AH Covent Garden michaelgrandagecompany.com

hidden in the sand trafalgar studios £15+

£10+

stephen ward: the musical aldwych theatre

jeeves and wooster in perfect nonsense duke of york’s Stephen Mangan (TV’s Episodes) is the upper class fool Bertie Wooster and Matthew Macfadyen (Frost/ Nixon) his ever-present valet as PG Wodehouse’s iconic double act come to the West End. This particular tale will see the bumbling Jeeves attempting to matchmake, with his trusty servant bailing him out once again.

Oct 30-Mar 8, 2014. 7.30pm 104 St Martin’s Lane, WC2N 4BG Leicester Square atgtickets.com

the light princess national theatre Pop singer Tori Amos arrives on the boards of London for the first time in this coming of age drama about a princess who suffers from perpetual floating as a result of grieving for her mother. It’s been postponed for a year, but director Marianne Elliott has a great track record – being responsible for both excellent The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime and War Horse – so hopes are high for this new musical production. £12+

Sep 27-Jan 2, 2014. 7.30pm. Sat & Sun, 2.15pm South Bank, SE1 9PX Waterloo nationaltheatre.org.uk

prince of denmark ambassadors theatre mojo harold pinter theatre Celebrated screenwriter and playwright Jez Butterworth’s acclaimed 1995 gangster drama is revisited here by his longtime director Ian Rickson, with a cast that includes Ben Whishaw (Skyfall), Brendan Coyle (Downtown Abbey) and Rupert Grint (Harry Potter series). It won Laurence Olivier, Evening Standard and George Devine awards first time out, and is one of the most praised plays in Butterworth’s career. And when we add that he also penned the critically adored Jerusalem, that is rather lofty praise indeed.

Photos: Manuel Harlan; Jillian Edelstein; Getty

£10+

Oct 26-Jan 25, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Thur & Sat, 2.30pm SW1Y 4DN PIccadilly Circus atgtickets.com

There’s sex, scandal and tragedy aplenty in this new musical from Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Ward was a physician in the Sixties who became one of the integral figures in the decade’s increasingly permissive high society. He was, however, also at the centre of a political scandal for introducing an MP to showgirl Christine Keeler, leading to said MP’s resignation and a highly public trial for Ward, who was charged with living off the profits of prostitution.

An odd choice of topic for The Phantom Of The Opera creator, but it is a move that certainly marks its difference to other musicals arriving this season. £15+

£15+

£12+ With Shakespeare cropping up all over the stages of London this autumn, the National Youth Theatre is offering something a little different here. Rather than staging Hamlet, they’re putting on a prequel, with Hamlet, Ophelia and Laertes as teenagers many years before the events of the Bard’s famous work.

It’s not exactly all fun and games and easy youthful years though, as you might expect, with Michael Lesslie’s drama full of plenty of rivalry and teenage rebellion as the young king-to-be fights with those around him, not least his parents and their expectations for him.

Oct 2-Nov 27. Times and dates vary West Street, WC2H 9ND Leicester Square theambassadorstheatre.co.uk

coriolanus donmar warehouse

Dec 3-Mar 1, 2014. Mon-Sat 7.30pm. Wed & Sat, 2.30pm 49 Aldwych, WC2B 4DF Temple stephenwardthemusical.com

Recently seen as the all-round badass villain in the third-highest grossing film of all time, The Avengers, Tom Hiddleston (left) takes the central role in this Ancient Rome-set Bard political tragedy. £15+

Dec 6-Feb 8, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Thur & Sat, 2.30pm 41 Earlham Street, WC2H 9LX Covent Garden donmarwarehouse.com

12 angry men garrick theatre

richard II barbican theatre

British actor Martin Shaw stars in the role made famous by Henry Fonda in the 1957 movie about 12 jurors on a murder case in New York that turns out to be a lot more than first meets the eye.

Former Doctor Who David Tennant (above) will join Jude Law this autumn by playing a monarch in a Shakespeare play, this time the titular 14th-century ruler in this famous historical tale produced here by the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Nov 11-Mar 11, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.45pm. Thur & Sat, 3pm WC2H 0HH Leicester Square garrick-theatre.co.uk

Dec 9-Jan 25, 2014. Mon-Sat, 7.30pm. Sat, 2pm Silk Street, EC2Y 8DS Barbican barbican.org

£19+

£10+

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FREE 8TH DAY ADVENTURE This sport, adventure and social club which hosts hundreds of events every year is offering the first 30 myTNT VIPs free annual membership worth £140.

After that, VIPs will benefit from 2-4-1 savings on all membership prices.

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NEW! THE TRAVEL CLUB Sign up to become a VIP and you’ll bag free entry to The Travel Club – worth £49. As well as offers and deals on fantastic trips, you’ll get a £100 travel voucher, airport lounge passes and 10% off trips booked with G Adventures.

FREE CASE OF BONDI BEER Make sure your summer BBQ kicks off in style with a case of Bondi Beer. The first 50 VIPs will receive a case of 24 cans of premium lager. Because we all know summertime parties are thirsty work. You are very welcome.

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2-4-1 BURGERS AT THE ELK BAR We all know how expensive food can be in London, so we’ve got your backs covered. Chow down on a succulent burger at the Elk Bar in Fulham before 6pm each day, and all myTNT VIPs will be able to bag a top 2-4-1 deal.

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THE EARL OF ESSEX PUB THE SCENE Amid the quiet Georgian millionaire homes of Angel sits the glazed-tile facade of this brew pub. The first thing you’ll notice stepping in isn’t the stonewash blue walls or the extensive beer board, it’s the clientele who are all peculiarly attractive, successful looking, and in that comfortably professional 27-34 bracket. If you’re anything like me, this makes spotting your friends very easy, as they huddle together in a dark corner, looking like a pile of old coats and withering plastic bags. A neat rear beer garden is made to feel pleasantly rustic with over-sized angular stone furniture. The pub’s devotion to beer is in evidence too, as a mash tun, fermenter and hopper loom in chrome behind the bar.

THE GRUB A solid menu of pub favourites with handy beer match recommendations.

The 6oz cheese burger is delish, as are the BBQ ribs and mountainous meat platter.

The latest incarnation of The Earl of Essex has jumped headlong onto the craft beer bandwagon. And the Earl does a fine selection, all viewable on two mammoth beer boards. There’s even Harbour, a rye beer with a Kiwi hop.

BILL PLEASE Most of the ales come in around a respectable £4 mark. They do wine too for you non-beer drinking lameoids. Mains £7.50; sides £3; desserts £3.50.

VERDICT All new pubs purport to do ‘craft beer’. The Earl actually does and does it better than most; coupled with a pitch perfect atmosphere, you’ve got a winner.

BEHIND THE BAR

25 Danbury Street, N1 8LE

earlofessex.net

AMERICAN DINERS

TINSELTOWN

SOHO DINER

THE DINER

This Islington basement den is open midday til 5am, and it’ll probably take you all of that time to decide which drink on their epic list of milkshakes to order.

Black Forest Oreo? Cherry Bakewell? It goes on ...

The burgers at this diner on Old Compton Street might be confusing (a single comes with two patties, a double with three), but they’re pretty damn good, plus there are cocktails on tap for just £6. Dangerous.

There are six branches of this bad boy across London, packing a kick-ass selection of boozy shakes (spiked with everything from rum to cognac), masses of burger and dog options and an allday breakfast menu.

tinseltown.co.uk

sohodiner.com

goodlifediner.com

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3 OF THE BEST

Angel/Old Street

You brewdy: this Angel pub is a real beer-lovers’ haven

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Raw deal: good value, if a bit soulless, sushi joint

CHICKEN WING CHALLENGE Did you see TNT’s eating challenges feature back in June? Think you could give a hot wings contest a crack? Well, you’re in luck, as ace pub The Jam Tree in Clapham and Chelsea hosts its King of the Wing competition this week.

On September 19, anyone can enter into the chance of winning a £500 bar tab – all you have to do is stuff down as many of the wily wings as possible in eight minutes. Laced with a combination of chilli, Tabasco and cayenne pepper, these wings aren’t for the weak, though incredibly last year’s champion put away 1.2kg-worth.

Reckon you can beat that? Email clapham@thejamtree.com or chelsea@ thejamtree.com. Entry costs £12. Or spectate free of charge (and pain). thejamtree.com

tsuru sushi

You can pick up sushi from most places nowadays – supermarkets, sandwich shops, cafes. So it’s good to see somewhere offering affordable sushi that doesn’t come in plastic with sachets of wasabi and soy sauce. Tucked away behind Liverpool Street station, Tsuru is a small concern, with enough space to fit about 30 people inside – and options for alfresco dining as well. It’s modern and simplistic in design, with huge windows running along the front of the venue allowing the last of the summer light to pour in. My friends and I sit on the tall stalls around one of the wooden tables on a Thursday night – it’s fairly quiet, with about three other tables taken by City types. We’re hoping the food is more impressive than the atmosphere.

The grub All the sushi is handmade here, and the katsu is breadcrumbed with extra fluffy Japanese panko. There’s a huge selection on offer – from miso soup and pork gyoza, to spicy tuna uramaki and yellow fin crisp rolls. We order a selection, including crisp prawn and asparagus tempura, a 12-piece veggie platter (think soft, sweet Inarizushi and avocado rolls) and an eight-piece salmon nigiri.

Everything is spot on – the only complaint is that it was scoffed too quickly. To make up for it, we order two desserts each – a mouthwatering warm, gooey chocolate brownie serviced with a generous scoop of creamy vanilla ice cream, all washed down with a bottle of the crisp-but-fruity Reserve de Gassac. We round the evening off with mochi ice – balls of sticky rice with an ice cream centre.

THE SCENE

RAMSAY’S NEW RESTAURANT Gordon Ramsay’s new restaurant Union Street Cafe opens this week, doing the ‘swanky warehouse’ thing near London Bridge. The Italian chef at the helm, Davide Degiovanni, will be serving up flavours from his homeland using artisan suppliers from nearby Borough and Maltby Street markets, whipping up the likes of veal saltimbocca, marsala and fried zucchini for midrange prices. Yum. gordonramsay.com/union-street-cafe

A NOVEL POP-UP Bizarre gimmick of the week: bar Central & Co in Soho is transforming its interior and cocktail list to tie in with a literary classic for three days a week from September 18. First up, pig’s heads and straw for Animal Farm.

Why? Well, why not?

Not a massive menu, but a decent selection of beers (Asahi/ Camden Pale), wines, sake and shochu, as well as herbal teas.

Bill please Starters from £2.35; sushi pairs from £2.45; platters from £10.95; desserts from £2.25. Beer from £3.90; wine from £3.80/ £14.95 per glass/ bottle. verdict If not for dinner, it’s worth stopping by for a top-quality sushi lunch, which doesn’t come wrapped in plastic, or cost the earth. CD Behind the bar

centralandco.com The Plaza, EC2M 3AB

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In the house: Spin Doctors have new blues and their big Nineties hits to draw from

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spin doctors The Garage, N5 1RD wed, sep 25 | Doors at 7pm | £20

Brighton holds the final hurrah for summer’s festival season with this one-day pop and dance event. Rizzle Kicks, Labrinth (below), Maverick Sabre, Jaguar Skills and more are on the main stage; Nero, Sub Focus and Zane Lowe take to the Supercharged Arena stage; and Kerri Chandler and Todla T Sound System are in the Audio Arena. There’s no camping on site but there are a load of after parties in town.

Stanmer Park, BN1 9SE. Sep 28. 12pm11pm. £45 Brighton

It’s back to the Nineties this evening as Spin Doctors bring their new album to town, with support from Britpop faves Dodgy.

The Spin Doctors surged out of their native New York in 1991 with the smash hit single Two Princes, which became the indie-rock mainstream crossover hit of the decade. You couldn’t escape it – it was a catchy as hell sing-along anthem which has graced indie and Nineties compilations ever since. And it was followed up with single Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong, another gem with the same attributes.

Their debut album from which that single was unleashed, Pocket Full Of Kryptonite, went gold in the States in 1992, and they were way more than just one-hit wonders. They followed it up with Turn It Upside Down in 1994, which was not as commercially successful, but still managed to shift a couple of million copies around the world. But by the end of touring this sophomore outing, the strains of the road had begun to wear and guitarist Eric Schenkman walked out.

The band soldiered on, though, releasing You’ve Got To Believe In Something in 1996 and then their fourth LP Here Comes The Bride three years later, before taking a hiatus from the end of the Nineties until their return with Nice Talking To Me in 2005. Earlier this year came their sixth album, If The River Was Whiskey, a stunning collection of more blues-influenced tracks. You can bet, however, that they will be sure to play the odd track from their back catalogue, and will delve into their kryptonite-filled pockets as well.

shakedown.co.uk Highbury & Islington

thegarage.co.uk

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NEW BAND

css GIG sun, sep 22. 7pm £15

Cansei de Ser Sexy, or CSS as they’re better known, are bring their sexy punk-funk to town.

Their fourth LP Planta was out last year, and they’ll be sure to serve up the odd cut from their 2005 breakout self-titled debut, especially Let’s Make Love And Listen To Death From Above, which rocks just as much now as then.

Photos: Getty

Heaven Under The Arches, WC2N 6NG Embankment heaven-live.co.uk

neon noise project: aeroplane

alex metric

CLUB

CLUB

sat, sep 21. 10.30pm-4.30am £13.50

fri, sep 20. 9pm-4am £12.50+

Aeroplane, aka Belgian producer and DJ Vito de Luca, will be dropping into town for his first all night six-hour set. Embracing his varied influences, he’ll be playing house and disco classics, as well as hip-hop and funk and a load of Aeroplane faves from the back catalogue at this ace south London venue.

The British producer, musician and remixer headlines this Friday as part of east London’s XOYO first birthday celebrations, with Moon Boots and Shit Robot also on the bill. If you can’t make it down, then there are a further 10 party events up to November so you can celebrate this top venue cementing its second year in town.

Lightbox 6a South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP Vauxhall residentadvisor.net

XOYO 32-37 Cowper Street, Shoreditch, EC2A 4AP Old Street xoyo.co.uk

fleetwood mac

found street party

james blake

GIG

CLUB

GIG

sep 24, 25 & 27. 8pm £50+

sat, sep 21. 1pm-8pm £15+

sep 25 & 26. 7pm £16.50

The blues-rock-pop legends have still not confirmed that they are going to release any new material, but there is the likelihood of a couple of new tracks making it into their sets at The O2 this week. And then there’ll be that great big bag of US rock classics that they have in their pocket, as well.

Techno originator Kevin Saunderson and house legend Frankie Knuckles will both be starring at this all-day street party in Shoreditch set to see the summer out in fine style. Up-and-comers Voyeur and party starters The Mendez Brothers will also be on hand to make sure your weekend kicks off the way it should.

Post dubstep-electronica producer Blake finally followed up his Mercury Prize nominated selftitled debut with this year’s Overgrown, which has seen his stellar star rise even further. After a busy summer on the festival circuit, he drops by this legendary west London venue to showcase exactly why he is the man of the moment.

The O2 Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX North Greenwich theo2.co.uk

Secret Shoreditch location To be confirmed residentadvisor.net

Shepherd’s Bush Empire Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk

love inks The buzz so far Fusing poppy synths with a driving indiefuelled percussion and absorbing atmospherics, Austin’s Love Inks (vocalist Sherry LeBlanc; multiinstrumentalist Kevin Dehan; bassist Derek Brown) are about to release their sophomore LP, Generation Club. Taking a fuller, more complete approach to their famously minimal pop songs, it is a record with the live arena in mind and saw Dehan isolate himself from his friends and the outside world for much of the recording process.

The Critics say “Like The XX fronted by Sade, you’ll have it on repeat forever” Lauren Laverne, BBC the plug Generation Club is released on September 23 through Monofonus Press. loveinks.com

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Uninspiring: this Diana biopic fails to tells us much about who Diana was

diana FILM review by Alasdair Morton Starring: Naomi Watts, Naveen Andrews | 12A | 112mins | Out September 20

the call FILM Starring: Halle Berry, Abigail Breslin | 15 | 94mins | Out September 20

Halle Berry and a great big bouffant hair do star in this thriller from director Brad Anderson (The Machinist) about a police call centre operative who has to talk Abigail Breslin’s kidnapped teen to survival. It’s a high concept flick, with much of the main kidnap ‘n’ rescue playing out in real time, and Anderson has repeatedly proved himself the master of brooding suspense.

On general release September 20

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Oliver Hirschbiegel made the Academy Award-nominated Downfall, about Adolf Hitler’s final days in his Berlin bunker. Naomi Watts has been nominated for the Best Actress gong twice. So you’d expect their pairing to produce class. But sadly this biopic of Princess Diana’s final years is more soap opera than Oscar material.

Based on Kate Snell’s 2001 book, Diana: Her Last Love, the film tells of the final two years of Diana’s life before her 1997 death in a car crash in Paris, specifically her relationship with British Pakistani heart surgeon Hasnat Khan (Lost’s Naveen Andrews), her longing for freedom from her constricting royal life, and the subsequent breakdown of her affair with Khan and brief fling with Dodi Fayed.

Bookended by the moments leading up to that fateful crash, the film opens strongly, but soon topples from this stark and moving beginning, and settles on a mood of melodrama you’d more often find on the TV in the early evening prime time slots. This tone is often exacerbated by Stephen Jeffreys’ screenplay, which offers up some witheringly cloying dialogue and fails to really get behind the public image we already know to offer any true insight.

Despite looking little like Diana, Watts convinces as the princess of hearts, though, delivering a measured and layered performance that is affecting while not ever really getting under the surface. The film has been trashed by a large proportion of UK critics, but truth is it’s not as bad as some might say. The problem is that it just isn’t all that good either.

Good for: Switching off with a non-challenging romantic drama.

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jen kirkman

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COMEDY

Massachusetts-born but LA-based stand-up Kirkman, who is a US TV and comedy circuit regular, makes her UK debut this week with a stand-up show all about being divorced and why she loves it, why she has no kids and is totally happy about it, and that she is the way she is because of her family.

Soho Theatre 41 Dean Street, W1D 3NE. Sep 23-28. £10 Tottenham Court Road sohotheatre.com

Marching To The Freedom Dream

inside wagner’s head

EXHIBITION

THEATRE

Photojournalist Dan Dubnik presents this collection of photographs chronicling the social and political currents of the Sixties civil rights movement that changed the US. Presented in celebration of the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech and running for just one more week.

Simon Callow’s self-penned solo account of what made the controversial German composer Richard Wagner (1813-1883) tick proves an illuminating exploration of the fiercely antiSemitic composer, punctuating well-researched biographical detail with recorded snatches of his music. LK

TJ Boulting 59 Riding House Street, W1W 7EG. Until Sep 21. FREE Goodge Street tjboulting.com

Royal Opera House Covent Garden, WC2E 9DD. Until Sep 28. £7+ Covent Garden roh.org.uk

katerina vrana What’s Feta With The Queen about? It’s my debut solo show about my experiences as a Greek abroad, mainly in the UK. It’s 10 years of observations on such contentious issues as the weather, complaining and taps.

How did you start out in standup? I’m an actress and in between jobs I started doing comedy improv to improve thinking on my feet in English (my second language). This then lead on to sketch comedy and then stand-up.

Photos: Mark Douet

Who is your stand-up idol? Eddie Izzard, Louis CK, Maria Bamford, Wanda Sykes, Dylan Moran and Mitch Hedberg. They all have superb but extremely different material, delivery and timing.

R.I.P.D

a boy and his soul

FILM

THEATRE

Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges are “the greatest lawmen that ever lived... and died” in this comic book adaptation. Basically, they’re dead cops for the Rest In Peace Department who capture escaped dead folks hiding out among the living and evading justice. Like Men In Black with a supernatural, law ‘n’ order spin, it’s garnered, shall we say, less than poor reviews Stateside.

It may be a one-man show, but in the course of an effervescent 90 minutes, American actor Colman Domingo populates the stage as a variety of characters in this account of an enduring love affair with soul music, as Domingo relives the experience of coming-ofage in Seventies and Eighties Philadelphia. LK

On general release September 20

Tricycle Theatre Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR. Until Sep 21. £8+ Kilburn tricycle.co.uk

What’s the strangest audience reaction you’ve had? The most emphatic reaction I got was playing a street festival in Brixton. An old lady thought my material was too offensive for some of the younger audience members so kept shouting “No!” at me every five seconds.

Angel Comedy. Sep 27. FREE Camden Head, 2 Camden Walk, N1 8DY Angel angelcomedy.co.uk

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Aussie impressions Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo … and Sid? Aussie artists aren’t Ninja Turtle big, but they bloody well deserve to be Words michael gadd

A nation lacking the history and culture of art’s big hitters, surely Australia doesn’t have the quality to stand alongside the greats of Europe – that’s the view of Aussie laymen only, says Royal Academy of Arts director of exhibitions Kathleen Soriano. “I think you’ve all got to get over yourselves,” she says half-jokingly (only half).

Soriano conceived and curated Australia, an epic exhibition of 209 works from Down Under filling the RAA’s expansive main galleries. It’s the first major show of its kind in the UK for 50 years and chronologically explores the cultural evolution of Oz art over the past 200 or so years.

“The 20,000 square-foot space we have here is really the only place you can do justice to a big exhibition of Australian work like this,” says Soriano, who was inspired to push for an Aussie-only show by her first visits there in the late-Eighties.

“I visited all of the major galleries and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t heard of so many of the artists,” Soriano says. “I knew about indigenous art, but nothing about the great Australian impressionists. I kept on going back over the years and thought even more that it was strange Australia wasn’t part of the western canon, especially given the connections of Britain and Australia.”

Soriano has attempted similar-themed exhibitions over the years working at other major galleries, but couldn’t get them over the line. Beyond periods of prominence, such as with Arthur Boyd and Sid Nolan in the 50s and 60s, and artists such

as Brett Whiteley, John Olsen and Tom Roberts (who studied at RAA) who left their mark while living in the UK and Europe, Australia hasn’t imposed itself on the artistic landscape. But that’s not to say the work isn’t on the same level.

“I haven’t had a single English person say that [Australian art is in any way inferior],” Soriano says. “But most Australians think you wouldn’t show their art out of Australia because it’s not good enough … and that is just wrong.”

Soriano’s compilation will see Frederick McCubbin’s The Pioneer leave home shores for the first time. Iconic works such as Sidney Nolan’s Ned Kelly series and quintessentially Australian images including Russell Drysdale’s The Drover’s Wife will be heavily represented, alongside Aboriginal works by the likes of Albert Namatjira and their contemporary equivalents across painting, drawing, photography, watercolours and multimedia.

“I thought I’d be telling the art history story of Australia, but realised that wasn’t presenting the best story,” Soriano says. “The more I looked at them, the more I realised the big story is that of the land and landscape.” How representations change over time reflect the evolution of the nation. She adds: “I hope visitors leave with at least a handful of artists they think are just wonderful, who they want to see more of.” ›› Australia. Royal Academy of Arts, September 21-December 8.

Burlington House, W1J 0BD royalacademy.org.uk Piccadilly Circus/ Green Park

< sidney nolan, ned kelly & glenrowan (1946) Nolan’s 27-work Kelly series might be the most iconic Australian imagery and two of its most recognised will show at the RAA. More than the story of the hero/ outlaw, the series touches on themes of injustice, love and betrayal. It is also the most popular attraction at the National Gallery of Australia, so a coup and a must for the Australia show. In 1963, English critic Robert Melville wrote Nolan’s Kelly belonged to “the company of 20th-century personages which includes Picasso’s minotaur, Chirico’s mannequins, Ernst’s birdmen, Bacon’s popes and Giacometti’s walking man” and he featured in the 2000 Olympics opening ceremony. It’s a big deal. His only Kelly not donated to the NGA is First Class Marksman, which sold in 2010 fo AU$5.4m. charles meere, australian beach pattern (1940) > Another Aussie icon is Meere’s idealistic vision of the beach with the statuesque bronzed Aussie stereotype. Sold in 2008 for AU$240k.

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BRETT WHITELEY, BIG ORANGE (SUNSET), 1974 Whiteley’s work appeared in 1961’s Recent Australian Painting show at the Whitechapel Gallery. His Red Painting made him the youngest artist to be bought by the Tate.

JOHN OLSEN, SYDNEY SUN, 1965 This is Olsen’s beloved Sydney Harbour, painted on his return from years in Europe. It’s the most expensive of his works, bought for AU$550k by the National Gallery of Australia from the Rupert Murdoch Collection.

Tom Roberts, Allegro con brio: Bourke Street west (c1885-86, reworked 1890): The Melbourne shopping hub before the trams arrived, named after a musical term “lively with fire” and expressing “the globalising of the Imperial bourgeoisie”. He couldn’t get a buyer, so gave it to fellow painter Fred McCubbin, whose widow sold it for 20 guineas in 1918 and forwarded the cash to Roberts in London.

ROVER THOMAS, CYCLONE TRACY, 1991 After 40 years as a stockman, Thomas began painting in his fifties, yet is a seminal Aboriginal artist. Rather than a Dreamtime telling, this shows the destruction of 1974’s Cyclone Tracy. The black is the cyclone gaining intensity as winds carry dust on either side.

SHAUN GLADWELL, APPROACH TO MUNDI MUNDI, 2007 A still from a slow-mo dual-screen video series MADDESTMAXIMVS. It’s based on Mad Max, but uber arty.

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MORE AUSSIE ART IN LONDON tntmagazine.com/aussie-art

National Gallery of Australia: Ned Kelly & Glenrowan (Gift of Sunday Reed, 1977), Sydney Sun (DACS 2013), Allegro con brio Bourke Street west (National Library of Australia), The Drover’s Wife (Estate of Russell Drysdale), Approach to Mundi Mundi (production still), Cyclone Tracy (the artist’s estate courtesy Warmun Art Centre), Art Gallery of NSW: Australian Beach Pattern (DACS 2013), Big Orange (Wendy Whiteley/ Gift of Patrick White, 1975)

RUSSELL DRYSDALE, THE DROVER’S WIFE, 1945 The flat, barren landscape’s title comes from an 1896 sketch story by Henry Lawson. The wife is among Bognor Regis-born Drysdale’s most noted works – along with The cricketers – commissioned by the SMH to capture the 1944 drought.

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It’s an accusation too often levelled at Australia, the suggestion that it is a cultural void with few artistic achievements to speak of.

That is of course, a big bag of crap, and we’ve got the event listings to prove it.

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One of the first things any Aussie moving to London will notice is that really good coffee is hard to come by.

Antipodeans are used to taking coffee seriously, so we’ve compiled a list of London outlets that do the same.

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It was announced this week that Chris Lilley, mastermind behind Summer Heights High, is to return to the small screen as Ja’mie King.

So we decided to celebrate Lilley’s top 10 funny moments to date.

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Twerking fire fail video was a hoax set up by Jimmy Kimmel

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Bill Shorten and Anthony Albanese are going head-to-head for the Labor leadership following Kevin Rudd’s federal election defeat. We find out about the candidates

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most shared Kiwi author favourite for the Booker

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Photos: Imgur; Getty; YouTube; Art Gallery of NSW: Australian Beach Pattern (DACS 2013)

SECRET VIETNAM Without a doubt, Hoi An is my favourite Vietnamese – actually, scratch that – Southeast Asian destination ever.

Treated as just a stop-over originally in my Vietnam travels in May 2012, I soon fell in love with the place and stayed on longer than expected. Set on the coast of the South China Sea, Hoi An is recognised as an Unesco World Heritage site that preserves an example of a Southeast Asian trading port dating back to the 15th century.

Drinking a hot Vietnamese coffee (it’s delicious, trust me) in one of the open courtyards is enhanced as you gaze admiringly at the unique architecture, which makes you feel you like you’re in a truly special place.

But Hoi An isn’t just about wandering the streets, there are a gazillion of things to do.

Hire a bike for the day and follow the locals to Cua Dai Beach, a well-guarded local secret. Or, if you prefer something more lively, take a wander down the riverfront set in the heart of the city.

Market stalls line the banks, best viewed at night when the lit lanterns cast a homely glow on the hubbub of locals and foreigners mixing together. Hoi An is unarguably the best place to fill your wardrobe. Cheap, affordable and good quality, the tailors of Hoi An will surely strike you a good deal. If you want to know more about my Asian adventures, check out my travel budget website. (bit.ly/wETTv3) Read more at: my.tntmagazine.com/blogs

“I’m trying a new look” “You won’t believe the things I’ve seen”

Website of the week:

Drawing Drake into Breaking Bad

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Acacia Africa gives one lucky reader the chance to win a seat on its 11day Highlights of Tanzania Overland Safari. Be in it to win it! tntmagazine.com/acacia-africa TNTMAGAZINE.COM

27

LifestyleHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK

tabata

Fitness First has just introduced Tabata classes across its gyms in London, giving members the chance to try the Tabata method before anyone else in the UK. It’s a form of high intensity interval training (HIIT) brought over to us all the way from Japan, developed by Japanese scientist Professor Izumi Tabata (known to many as ‘the father of HIIT’). Including warm up and warm down, the whole class only lasts 20 minutes, but it’s claimed it will help you burn as many calories as you would doing an hour of jogging, an hour of zumba or two hours of yoga. So it’s a great solution for the time-strapped exercise-phobe who wants results fast. Professor Tabata says he discovered that short, sharp bursts of intense exercise are the best way to get fit quick and effectively. Thus, the method consists of 20 seconds of intense exercise, followed by 10 seconds of rest, over a rotation that lasts only four minutes. Bonus. Recent research by Professor Tabata also claims that, if the method is followed correctly, the body will continue to consume more calories for up to 12 hours after the exercise class. Sounds worth a crack to us.

Various Various

TNT finds five ways for you to feel closer to home. Warning: this is a no Facebook zone Words caroline garnar

Forget status updates and weird robot voices on Skype. Try one of these original ways to stay in touch with your loved ones ...

Make a photo book Chances are you’ve been documenting your expat life for some time now: “Here’s me on the London Eye, there I am in front of Big Ben, that’s me drinking tequila from a girl’s cleavage” (oops, better leave that one out). But even if you send your family photos over email or they can see your Facebook albums, a photo book will make an awesome keepsake. You can pick your favourite pictures, upload them online, add some text and create a book that will be printed and delivered to their door. A book full of you?

Surely that’s the best present ever.

HOW TO DO IT: Albelli offers all shapes and sizes of photo books, as well as canvas prints, diaries, calendars and more. Prices start at £6.95, with delivery outside of Europe costing £14.99. albelli.co.uk

Send a virtual postcard Let’s face it, postcards are crap. The pictures are usually as cheesy as Simon Cowell in a fromage factory and they seemingly take years to actually arrive. ByPost is an iPhone app that lets you upload or take a picture, give it a postcard template (‘Wish you were here’ is always a classic), write on the back and then you can send it to the other side of the world with the touch of a button.

HOW TO DO IT: ByPost is free to download but it costs 99p to send each postcard. bypost.com

Have a film night A lot of the time it’s the simple things we miss, like heading around to our best mate’s house to catch up and watch a DVD while eating ourselves into oblivion. Once a month, pick a film that you and your overseas pal haven’t seen to watch on the same night.

To make it even more authentic, take it in turns to send each other food hampers full

fitnessfirst.co.uk

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Keep in touch

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WHAT’S NEW

Post it: ‘cos you’d hate for them to forget your eyes

Vaseline Paint The Town A glam new lip therapy tint £3.49 facebook.com/vaseline

Hey, it’s me!

What do you think of my new fringe? I reckon it brings out my crazy eyes...

of goodies. You can choose one with British brands so they can get a taste of England, while they can send you your favourite bites from back home. The next day you can bond (or argue) over what you thought.

HOW TO DO IT: Treats From Home will deliver choccie and sweet-filled hampers, full of British classics, to Aussie doorsteps. treatsfromhome.com.au

Write a blog If you like to keep a diary of your travels, do it online so your friends and family can keep up to date with what you’re doing (although, like your photo book, you may want to leave out the gory details in case gran reads it).

HOW TO DO IT: Get scribbling tapping on TNT’s very own social network, myTNT, and

not only can you blog and add pictures, but keep your musings regularly updated and you could win yourself a free case of Bondi beer. my.tntmagazine.com

Glamtech Brow Comb Tweezer Pluck, comb, all in one. Bam! £6 glamtech.co.uk

Keep the love alive If it’s your boyfriend or girlfriend you’ve left behind, you can still be sickeningly sweet by using iPhone’s Couple app. It allows you to send love notes, draw pictures and even ‘hold hands’ by pressing your thumbs to the screen.

Aww/ bleugh.

NEXT WEEK HOW TO DO IT: Couple is free to Living: Spotlight on Bermondsey download. Find more info at couple.me

Eau Thermale Avène Cream For dry hands in compact size £6.50 (50ml) avene.co.uk

Photos: Supplied and Thinkstock

top treatment: tailor made massage Purveyor of histrionically scented handmade cosmetics, Lush, has opened a string of in-shop spas. We popped down to its King’s Road branch for a Tailor Made, targeted at relieving all your little aches and pains. Suspend your disbelief, ignore all cynical urges and just enjoy the dry ice fog, sea shanty soundtrack and rum-infused tea, not to mention the knot-relieving massage which will leave you feeling wonderfully untangled. £40 for 30 mins. OJ 123 King’s Road, SW3 4PL

lush.co.uk/spa

Sloane Square

Glamour Puss Shadow Palette Eyes and cheeks by Barry M £6.99 barrym.com tntMagazine.com

29

tntjobs.co.uk Silverback Events

Job of the WeeK: Crew Member Location: London (All Areas) Salary: £8.00 -15.00 per hour

T: 0844 5617939 T: 07595021939 www.silverbackuk.com

Silverback is looking for fit, intelligent, good communicators who can take direction from senior crewmen and clients. You need good social skills and impeccable punctuality and be prepared to work long & sometimes unsocial hours, Applicants must speak fluent English. Typical Duties: Loading / Unloading of vehicles, Rigging of AV equipment, Setting up and dismantling stage and set, Ensuring health & safety requirements are met, Liaising with clients in a professional manner.

Silverback is a provider of premium support crew to production and AV companies within the event sector.

Jason@silverbackuk.com | 07712 829348

Imperial College

Job of the WeeK: : PhD Studentship- 3.5 Years Location: Kensington Salary: £24k equivalent

www3.imperial.ac.uk/ surfacesandparticleengineeringlab/

POSITION: PhD study in scientific instrumentation for chemical and/or physical materials characterisation. Suit UK or European graduate in chemistry, physics or chemical/electrical engineering. The successful applicant will join world class experimental research group. d.r.williams@imperial.ac.uk

Chemical Engineering Department in Top 10 Global University in Central London.

Job of the WeeK: Live In Carer Location: Nationwide Salary: Competitive

Helping Hands HomeCare T: 0808 252 4164 www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk

Live In Carers required Nationwide. Directly employed by Helping Hands Homecare. Live and care for your customer in their own home. Fully supported role. Approx 6-8 weeks placement then a break.

We are a leading provider of care in the UK supporting customers to remain in their own home

Recruitment | 0808 180 1123 | www.hhjobs.co.uk

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Multi award winning, Michelin starred restaurant requires

CHEF DE PARTIE If you are interested in working with great food and in an energetic, friendly team please email your CV to mattchristmas@chezbruce.co.uk

Christies Care offers you: • A FREE five-day training course

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09/07/2013 08:27

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cash-SAVING TIPS

LIFESTYLEMONEY

how you spend it!

Xxxxxxxxx

Stephanie Loconsole, 22

FREE BURGER & CHIPS Have yourself a particularly burgertastic September by visiting xxxxxxxxx Yates’s pubs (Leicester Square, Croydon, Harrow), Xxxxxxxxxxx where you can bag a free cheeseburger and chips with any drink you buy until the end of the xxxxxxxxx month. Simply register on the website to receive Xxxxxxxxxxx your voucher (tip: you can unsubscribe once you’ve bagged your freebie).

Job Event Planner From Chicago Lives Camden Town How do you budget?

I never go into a store without checking the clearance racks first. Unfortunately, I tend to splurge right after pay cheques.

Do you have any tips for saving money in London?

I look for student discounts everywhere I go. There are a lot more deals than you might think.

What was your last big blowout?

I spent £89 on a pair of shoes.

Photos: Getty; TNT. Interview: Brett Murphy. Research: Esin Huseyin

xxxxxxxxx

HOLIDAY HELP Buggering off abroad?

Xxxxxxxxxxx Need to know your way around? Download free app Navfree, which turns your smartphone into a xxxxxxxxx sat nav, complete with pre-loaded maps and voice Xxxxxxxxxxx prompts. Live in fear of catastrophic data roaming charges? That’s the really smart part – once the app’s been downloaded, it doesn’t need any internet data to function.

EAT CHOC, SAVE MONEY Save money by eating chocolate – for real.

Promotional packs of Kit Kats currently include a voucher that gives 50 per cent off a visit to mega theme park Alton Towers for up to four people.

That’s a saving of £92.40 if you go as a foursome and way better than a 2-4-1 deal if you’re in a three.

What non-essential items do you spend money on?

Does nail polish count as non-essential? Also, whenever I go to Borough Market, I can’t stop myself from buying cheese. So much cheese!

how THEY spend it!

Home not-so-cheap home How I Met Your Mother’s Neil Patrick Harris recently set a record for the price of a property in Harlem by paying £2.3m for a townhouse in the New York neighbourhood.

❚ US entertainer Dick Clark put his Malibu home, a replica of Fred Flinstone’s house in Bedrock, on the market for £2.2m. It has since been reduced to £2m.

Neil Patrick Harris: moving to Harlem

❚ John Travolta lives on a housing estate called ‘Jumbolair’, where the mansions have enough parking space for a private jet and a runway. Travolta’s house cost him £2.2m, and there’s space for three jets.

Do more Spend less

❚ The rumour mill suggests Justin Bieber is looking into buying Michael Jackson’s Neverland. The property, which includes a zoo and a theme park, is in such disrepair it’s thought the pop brat wouldn’t have much trouble trading up from his current £4m abode. ❚ Heath Ledger’s super-cool Hollywood tree house was put on the market for £1.6m following his death.

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WORLDVIEW

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Troublemakers: millipedes

MILLIPEDES CAUSE TRAIN CRASH AUSTRALIA

A train collision in Perth was caused by a mass of bad-smelling Black Portuguese millipedes squished on the tracks, reducing friction.

Pulling into the station in Clarkson, the locomotive slammed into the back of another train which was stationary – because the track was slimy, thanks to the multiple-legged crawlers.

The invading insects, which give off a distinctive whiff and discharge, have plagued parts of Oz since being introduced in 1953 and have no natural predators.

According to Melbourne Pest Removal, when disturbed “a millipede may discharge a strong and distasteful yellowish ooze which discourages hunters.” Nice. tweets of the week @MattBors I have faith that our elected leaders can put aside their partisan differences and get us in a war we don’t want. @Queen_UK Dear America, two quick things: 1) happy Labor Day 2) it’s actually spelt LABOUR. As ever your loving Queen.

kiwis upset by ‘chick, dork, OMG’ new zealand

New Zealanders may be becoming less shocked by swearing on TV and radio, but you’d be surprised at what upsets some chicks and dorks.

The Broadcasting Standards Authority NZ has released its latest survey on the acceptability of words in broadcasting after surveying 1500 over 18s.

While respondents were “softening” 32

tntMagazine.com

Bin there, do that: musical theatre hit Stomp takes to Sydney’s Martin Place

on the usual suspects of swear words, they were also asked to name any other words or phrases they felt were unacceptable.

Some were variations of, or contained ‘fuck’ or ‘cunt’, or were derogatory religious, sexual or racial references.

But others on the list were chick, dork, goodgracious, forsake you, frogface, bluurr, doodoohead, peckie, dingdong, damn, damnit, Pakeha and OMG. Someone also objected to “yoos and yoos fellas” and another person to the term “dim wit.”

BSA spokesman Heather Church said: “There’s not much we can do about some of these words, there’s nowt so queer as folk ... for some of them your guess is probably as good as ours.”

That clears that up, then.

pig gets drunk, starts on cow australia

A filthy drunken pig ran amok in an Australian campsite over the weekend after stealing and guzzling 18 beers.

The grubby oi(n)k snaffled the tinnies at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia, before ransacking bins, and starting a fight with a cow. The hammered porker then went for a swim in the river before passing out under a tree.

A camper at the site said: “[The pig was] running around ... being chased by a cow.”

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Cat people: Batman and Captain America

THIS WEEK

IN NUMBERS 160

Age, in years, of what could be the world’s oldest man. Ethiopian farmer Dhaqabo Ebba says he was born in 1895

Amount, in thousands of pounds, the average woman will spend on facial beauty products in her lifetime

11

BATMAN, CAPTAIN AMERICA SAVE KITTEN

18

Age, in years, of girl forced to stand on street corner in California as punishment after twerking at school

UNITED STATES

When a West Virginia home caught fire, trapping a kitten inside, it was Batman and Captain America who came to the rescue.

John Buckland, dressed as Batman, and Troy Marcum, dressed as Capt America, saw smoke at a house while entertaining a kids’ party. They ran over, kicked in the door and Buckland, a former firefighter, crawled into the front room where he felt something furry. He grabbed the animal, ran outside and gave it mouth-to-mouth (yes, that’s right). No one was hurt – though Buckland says the cat hissed and swatted at him when it came around.

IT’S NUTS! POLICE DETAIN COCONUT

Photos: Thinkstock, Getty, YouTube

MALDIVES

Police in the Maldives have detained a suspect coconut accused of vote-rigging in the island nation’s presidential election.

White magic practitioners have been summoned to inspect the fruit, after officers received complaints. The young coconut was found near a school in the Kaafu Atoll in the Indian Ocean. It had Koranic verse written in Arabic on it; coconuts are often used in black magic rituals and inscribed with spells.

Local website Minivan reported a source telling them the fruit was left at

Cost, per night, to stay in an exclusive island resort near Grenada, Caribbean. More money than sense?

Suspicious: a coconut the school as “a lesson for islanders not to practice black magic in an attempt to influence voting”. The fate of the coconut in question is yet to be reported.

KAYAKER TRAPPED BY CROC FOR 2 WEEKS NEW ZEALAND

A Kiwi kayaker has been rescued after being trapped by a saltwater crocodile on a remote Western Australian island for two weeks.

The man, known only as Ryan, was rescued by local Don MacLeod who spotted a light out on Governor Island and went out to investigate. MacLeod came across the hatless, shirtless Ryan who had all but run out of his meagre food and water supplies.

“When I came round through Red Bluff opposite Governor Island I saw a flash in the scrub,” MacLeod said. “He was relieved and shocked, and thankful someone had come along because he was running out of options pretty quickly.”

40,000

QUOTE OF THE WEEK Will I be competitive?

Probably more than even I imagine!

Watch this space!

Kylie Minogue gets excited about replacing Jessie J as a judge on BBC’s The Voice

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WIN WINE TASTING EXPERIENCE & [TITLE] [ADDITIONAL] GOURMET SOCIETY MEMBERSHIP Win a fun, at-home wine tasting sessions for you and five friends PLUS save up to 50 per cent off dining out for a year, with Gourmet Society membership worth £168.95.

This fabulous prize includes an informal wine tasting experience in the comfort of your own home, anywhere in the UK. You’ll sample 10 exclusive wines with guidance from an experienced local tutor, and even get a bottle to keep!

Plus, as part of the package you’ll also receive an annual membership to the Gourmet Society, which entitles you to up to 50 per cent off meals at more

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TNT puts the world to rights

OURVIEW

COMMENT: LAURA CHUBB laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

Unfair fares: Boris Johnson has overseen a 56 per cent increase to the cost of catching a bus

Londoners are overcharged for getting from A to B

Photos: Getty

Transport in the capital is the world’s most expensive. Why?

A group of Labour MPs have launched a campaign to stop London’s public transport fares from rising faster than the average Londoner’s wage increases, showing that the fees in the capital are the most expensive in the world.

Paris, New York and Rome all have cheaper single fares than that charged by Transport for London – £1.46, £1.60, £1.29 and £5 respectively – and the cost of a single bus journey has rocketed by 56 per cent in the five years since Boris Johnson became mayor of the city in 2008.

I don’t want to whinge too much about London’s public transport, because by and large, it is ace. We are so spoiled by it that waiting more than two minutes for a train on the Underground will spark antsy outrage – good luck seeing your train turn up within such a timeframe on the New York subway, where a 15-minute wait (shock! horror!) is the norm. OK, so shit breaks down a lot and you only know you’re a real Londoner when you start rooting black bogies out of your schnozz, but nothing is perfect, and the system we have is impressive. So there.

What I will join in with whinging about, however, is this frankly unfair expense. Our transport is not so good that it should cost roughly five times the amount of getting around in other major world cities. There is absolutely no justification for it.

A mayoral spokeswoman told the London Evening Standard: “Every penny from fares is invested in improving transport for Londoners, resulting in one of the biggest and most reliable transport systems in the world.” That’s not enough explanation for the ordinary folks who live here being financially crippled by the sheer necessity of getting from A to B every day. People need transport, people cannot walk across the city to get to their jobs every morning. I feel taken advantage of. I feel like Boris has me over a barrel. And that, on many levels, is just wrong. » Agree or disagree? Is London transport too expensive? letters@tntmagazine.com

IS GENTRIFICATION REALLY SO BAD? A gentrification map of London put together by estate agent Savills last week showed how the East End has prospered while suburbs in the north and west have seen “reverse gentrification”, losing wealthy folks to the trend for ‘hip’ inner city living.

No doubt this will beget much frothing at the mouth about yuppies ruining the authenticity of ‘gritty’ areas and pricing out ‘ordinary’ Londoners. But really, is gentrification such a bad thing? If people with stacks of cash to splash want to spend lots on living in a warehouse and encourage some nice new bars and

“

Authentic shittiness be damned

”

restaurants, is that really so evil? Should people who rely on the government for housing feel entitled to prime real estate in coveted zones?

I get that it’s controversial, but I for one am not upset at the idea of a crappy area being made much nicer, authentic shittiness be damned.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

35

SPORTNEWS

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Aussie-Brit: allrounder Jim Allenby

ALLENBY’s dragons are giant killers CRICKET

After starring with bat and ball for underdogs Glamorgan in the YB40 semi-final last week, Jim Allenby is raring to knock over some more giants from star-studded Notts in the final.

Allenby scored 74 not out from 71 balls and took a tight 2-18 off his eight overs as the Welsh Dragons beat Hampshire at Southampton on their home turf. Now they face the likes of Lumb, Hales, Taylor, Hussey and Patel at Lord’s on Saturday.

“It’s such a big day for the club,” says Allenby, who joined the Division Two club in 2009. “To get to the semi wasn’t a realistic thing for us a few months ago, so to make the final is amazing. We’ll be the underdogs for sure, they’ve got international quality across the board, but that also means they have more pressure.”

Perth-born Allenby describes his team with pride as “workmanlike”. “We’re a side that is playing to our potential and for each other. The smart money will be on them, but smart people aren’t always the ones who end up with the money,” he told TNT. The allrounder’s UK career started at Durham, but most of his county cricket pre-Cardiff was played at Leicestershire (2005-2009), where he once took four wickets in four balls. Although he grew up in Oz and played under-19s for Western Australia, he has lived in the UK since 2000 and given the choice England would be his preferred national team. His consistency has entertained talk of a move back to Australia, but Allenby insists his priorities lay with Glamorgan. “It’s not on the cards as far as I know, but if Australia picked me I would be mad to not jump at it, but my preference is England,” he says.

Get tickets to the final at lords.org.

36

tntMagazine.com

The Barmy Army would guess this is Australia’s Mitchell Johnson celebrating getting a ball to land somewhere in the vicinity of the pitch. In fact, this was the moment after he knocked over England danger man Kevin Pietersen. Now he’s in the Ashes frame

socceroos set for canada at craven football

Australia is all but confirmed to take on Canada in an international friendly next month at Fulham FC’s Craven Cottage, the Socceroos’ unofficial home away from home in London.

The nation’s respective FAs were finalising details last week but TNT understands a date of October 15 has been agreed. The sides last met in a 1994 World Cup qualifier, in which former Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzter starred on debut in a shootout. Socceroos manager Holger Osieck went on to helm Canada from 1998-2003. The match will be a chance for Aussie players to press their claims on a place at the World Cup in Rio next year.

BIG WEEK FOR ...

It’s hardly been a glowing start to David Moyes’ career at Old Trafford with indifferent results and the signing of sweet FA (other than his former charge Marouane Fellaini from Everton and keeping Wayne Rooney).

Most will be forgiven though with a win at Etihad this week against cross-town rivals Manchester City, who have their own new boss in Manuel Pellegrini and their own problems.

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QUOTES OF THE WEEK Awful. What happens to some of these players when they pull on an England shirt?

A cutting remark from BBC’s Gary Lineker after England’s draw with Ukraine. He backtracked though, pledging his support for Roy Hodgson as the nation’s manager

Rematch?: the Hawks will be fresh

PREVIEW HAWKS AND DOCKERS’ RIDE TO FINAL AFL SEMI-FINALS: SAT & SUN, ESPNUK (CHECK GUIDES) Hawthorn and Fremantle are in the box seat to secure a spot in the 2013 AFL Grand Final next week after enjoying a week to rest niggles over the weekend.

The Hawks, last year’s losing grand finalists, will take on the winner of Geelong or Port Adelaide in the first decider for the big one on Saturday. Then the Dockers take on the 2012 Premiers Sydney or Carlton, the only other Melbourne club left

in the finals, on Sunday.

The winners will meet at the MCG, as is tradition on the last Saturday in September (the 28th), with the action screened in the UK from 4.30am (get your mates together and join TNT at the Elk Bar, Fulham, to catch all the action with atmosphere you can’t get from your lounge or a dodgy stream. The £10 entry includes a free VB and pie).

Could it be the Hawks’ shot at redemption, the Swans going back-to-back minus Adam Goodes, the Cats back in familiar territory or could WA’s other club take their first Premiership back to Freo?

THE CHAT | No Benji for this year’s World Cup

I’ve been assassinated over the last day and I’ll be assassinated tomorrow. I’ve had my character judged. I’ve been called a lot of things and there’s been a lot of things said in regards to Ricky Stuart.

I made a decision that’s best for me and my family and I’ll wear all types of criticism Not out of character, Ricky Stuart whinges about the criticism he’s copped since saying he’ll leave the lowly Eels after one year to coach his old club in Canberra

TV HIGHLIGHTS

Photos: Getty

CRICKET Sure, Benji Marshall’s deserting the code for Q union, but wouldn’t you still want him in your team for the Rugby League World Cup? Reports said he was left out of the New Zealand A train-on squad, taken from the teams no longer in the finals, because he had no chance of ousting Kieran Foran from the five-eighth role. The NZRL said he’d made himself unavailable. Whatever the reason, Benji is a massive loss to the upcoming World Cup in the UK. Wearing an Auckland Blues top at Wests (the team he’s going to at the team he’s leaving) was poor form, but there are few more exciting drawcards in the code than the fleet-footed former Kiwi skipper. It’s league’s loss.

England v Australia Fifth and final ODI wraps up the summer Mon, 2pm, Sky Sports 2

FORMULA 1 Singapore Grand Prix All the action from Marina Bay circuit Sun, 1pm, Sky Sport F1

RUGBY UNION Marshall: league’s loss

Saracens v Bath Live Premiership Rugby in north London Sun, 2pm, BT Sport TNTMAGAZINE.COM

37

Magic moments This week’s Tour of Britain is a small but important stage in Aussie one-time Le Tour stage winner Heinrich Haussler’s journey back to cycling’s peak WORDS MICHAEL GADD

A bright-eyed kid negotiating potholes on country roads outside Inverell, NSW to a Tour de France stage winner. His teens spent almost entirely in Germany, who he represented at junior level, but a dream to ride for Australia. Heinrich Haussler’s career is full of contradictions but on the road to recovery from yet another setback he’s reaching for the heights of his profession all over again.

Haussler rides the Tour of Britain this week, a race he describes as “perfect” for him as he regains fitness after a horror crash at the Tour de Suisse in June. With hip and pelvis fractures, plus bruising, he started physio five days later, still wheelchair-bound. He was back on the bike in 10 weeks thanks to “unbelievable” physios, he tells TNT from his home in Fribourg, Switzerland, where his IAM team is based.

The 29-year-old’s ultimate goal is next year’s Tour de France, for which IAM will have to impress race organisers this season to get a berth, but that’s a long road ahead. Still, his position as leader of a well-backed pro outfit is a long way from northern NSW. “Back then it was fun and games – going to club races on the weekend and out for a spin with the boys in the afternoon,” he says, while paying tribute to his father, also Heinrich, who would drive 10 hours or more to races in Canberra, Victoria and Queensland. “I was also playing soccer, swimming, doing triathlons, running – pretty much everything, as you do in the country.”

With talented Haussler aged 13, enter Oliver Muschweck, a German bike mechanic on holidays who dropped in to check out the NSW State Championships in Sydney. “Back then I was one of the first riders to have STI levers (fancy gears), so the other kids were mucking around and broke them,” Haussler recalls. ”This German mechanic was there and said, ‘no worries, I’ll fix it’. After the race me and dad met up [with him] for dinner to say thank you. We got along, with dad from Germany too, and Oliver suggested I go stay at his place for six weeks and do some racing the next year.”

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Haussler took up the offer and went from races with 10 competitors once a week to a whole new world. “They had races Thursday through Sunday and 250 riders starting,” he says. “The first race was the first time I’d been in a proper bunch. It was completely different and I loved it.”

In six weeks, Haussler raced 16 times, winning 10 and finishing second in the other six. With his dual German and Australian passports opening the gate, he was soon offered a scholarship to study and ride for an East German school.

“

I thought fuck, I need to pull myself together

”

Through school and the junior adult ranks, Haussler was the next big thing. Then, his first year as a pro with Germanbased Gerolsteiner in 2005 justified the hype. A stage win in Vuelta a España and, as he says in his remarkably Aussie drawl given his 15 years in Germany, “a shitload of podiums”. But overall, he describes the time as wasted. “It went to my head,” he says. “I thought I was this big talent.

I seriously wasted five years of my career.

“I was living the wrong lifestyle. I had a drinking problem – not a serious problem but I was going out a lot,” he says.

By the end of 2008, he was struggling to land a contract.

“I was really thinking fuck, I need to pull myself together or I’ll be getting a job in the supermarket or whatever.”

In 2009, having heeded his own advice, he was picked up

by Cervello TestTeam, a group including star sprinter Thor Hushovd and 2008 Tour de France winner Carlos Sastre. “I knew that I couldn’t let these guys down,” Haussler says. “I knew if I was going to race at their level I was going to have to work.”

California: he finished second four stages in a row last year

Photos: Getty; IAM Cycling

Sinking in: emotion overcame Heinrich as he won stage 13 of the 2009 Tour de France

Finally touching on his potential, his team was a dominant force that year, which Haussler puts down to the unity in his group. “That was the best time of my life,” he says.

It was going to get better. Come stage 13 of that year’s Tour de France, the pieces came together for Haussler. “I was working for Thor in the green jersey and Carlos, and it was pissing down rain at the start,” says the rider with no aversion to the cold and wet. “The team manager said, ‘If you want to have a go, this is the day.’”

Haussler led almost start to finish over the 200km from Vittel to Colmar, 30km from Strasbourg where he was living and training at the time. “My sister was there on that day. All my friends from the area were there. It was a magic moment.

“The last few kilometres, it hit me that I was going to win a stage and all of these flashbacks came … I knew there’d be people back in Australia watching, it all hit me. Even if I watched it now, I’d probably start crying. Some people might think I’m a sook but I don’t care, it was magic." His face told the story.

When the World Championships were set for Australia in 2010, Haussler decided he wanted to ride at them in his native colours. “I’d never thought about it much,” he says. “But when the chance came to ride at home for Australia, I knew that’s what I wanted. I love Germany, it’s home, but it’s not home in my heart. It would feel wrong to ride for Germany.”

He's still waiting for the ride in green and gold though, as a crash with Mark Cavendish (who was charged for the incident) in an end-of-stage sprint saw him miss out with a knee injury. He was back on track before the most recent mishap, again in Switzerland, after finishing second four stages in a row at last year’s Tour of California. But he’s upbeat and finding no shortage of inspiration in recovery.

“I’ve been training where I won the stage,” he tells us.

“When I rode the last 80km again, it all flooded back. I could remember the rain, the finish line, everything. I want that feeling again. You ride to get those moments.”

Green and gold: for Team Australia in the London-Surrey Cycle Classic

Sir Champ: Bradley Wiggins leads Team Sky

CAV AND WIGGO TO TOUR BRIT STARS RACE BRITAIN Sir Bradley Wiggins leads Team Sky while sprinter Mark Cavendish features for Omega Pharma-QuickStep in the eight-stage Tour of Britain, which began yesterday and finishes in London on Sunday.

The race started in Scotland yesterday, and winds its way through Britain with stages then in Cumbria, Liverpool (individual time trial), Wales, Devon and Surrey (Epsom to Guildford) before the finale in the capital. The London stage will be a 10-lap circuit over 88km starting and finishing at Whitehall, and taking in views of the Tower of London, Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament.

“The Tour of Britain is always a tough event,” 2012 Tour de France champ Wiggins told Sky Sports. “It is a race I’m fond of and it is nice to see it growing in stature.

The crowds and the roads make it special. It is always humbling to see the fantastic support that we get.”

For more information visit

thetour.co.uk

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39

SPORTVIEW

TNT puts the world to rights

Straight in: ref Tim Wigglesworth checks for a fair feed between Wasps and Quins

‘Crouch, bind, set’ – proper scrums fix a rugby blight New engagement laws are better for players and spectators

» Agree or disagree? Are the new scrum laws good for rugby? letters@tntmagazine.com 40

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

michael.gadd@tntmagazine.com

QATAR CUP FARCE IS INEVITABLE One vote. That’s what Australia got when they bid for the 2022 World Cup which was given to Qatar, a decision now generally accepted as quite stupid and by the Fifa president Sepp Blatter himself as “not rational”.

Australia was axed in the first round of voting by Fifa’s 22 suits. The nations remaining were Japan and Korea, on their own after jointly hosting in 2002, and the US, which lost 14-8 in the final round.

Qatar, with its 1.69m people and massive infrastructure issues, plus a host of political and cultural hurdles to deal with, was a great choice. Of the 22 Arabic nations in the

“

Australia could have hosted a beauty

”

world, it’ll be the first to host a World Cup – a good thing, sure. But the fact is 45°C is too hot for football, even with cooled stadiums. And even with its own dramas (namely clashes with football-fearing NRL and AFL), Australia could’ve run a beauty.

Will fans flock? Doubtful. It’s hard to think Qatar 2022 will be anything but a farce.

Photo: Getty

A ball being fed straight into the scrum and giving both hookers a chance to rake it and win possession for their team was a pipedream a few years back, now it’s more or less actually happening in Premiership Rugby after an overhaul of the scrum process. While not everyone supports it, this is a good move for fans and the game.

Most people, especially the casual observer who doesn’t have a clue what’s actually happening between the crouch and the ball reappearing out the back of the two forward packs, would agree that scrums had become a bit of a joke in rugby. In no way as hilarious a joke as rugby league’s poor excuse for a restart, more of a Dane Cook funny – it sort of made sense and resembled amusement but was really annoying when they kept falling over.

The constant collapses and inexplicable penalties of the past have been reduced already and will lessen further once clubs get the hang of the new process. In the 100 scrums during the Six Nations last year, there were 49 collapses, 33 resets and 39 penalties or freekicks. The new rules aim for fewer collapses and resets, so can only be a good thing. Where the focus was previously on the hit (the powerful coming together of the two front rows), now front rows bind together and they can only start to pummel each other after the scrum half has fed the ball. And it has to be put in straight rather than thrown through the lock, like league. The team with the feed still has the advantage, but at least the opposition rake has a fighting chance. Some former forwards don’t like the change, but others say it means the supremacy of the scrum will be won more by technical skill than brute force.

Safety is a prime reason for the new laws. The force in a scrum is immense, and it really is amazing that so many happen without broken necks (some sadly don’t). If the new move, trialled at last year’s Championship, means plays are safer that’s great. For fans, it means the scrum isn’t a time-sapping, confusing, frustrating restart. Now it’s a contest and enhances the spectacle. Now if only someone could get the breakdown to make sense.

COMMENT: MICHAEL GADD

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HOORAY FOR HARE Women dressed as the Hindu god Lord Krishna and Lord Krishna’s devotee Radharani take part in the Janmashtami Festival in Watford, the largest Hindu festival outside of India.

Photos: Getty; Facebook; Anita Isalska

INSIDE

ART BEAT /46

BOHO BULGARIA /54

WILD THINGS /60

Follow the trail of Yorkshire’s Sculpture Triangle for surprising artsy finds to rival the capital.

Six thousand years of history, killer local hooch and one of Europe’s best Old Towns.

Better charge the camera for Plovdiv.

Get up close with nature and see some of the planet’s most amazing animals with our pick of the best wildlife-spotting holidays.

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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TRAVELDIARY Laura Chubb EDITOR

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Vegetarianism: not for the sane

FOOD FOR THOUGHT Are you the kind of traveller who gets excited at the idea of a guinea pig curry in Cusco or would the sight of those words scrawled on a blackboard have you running towards the nearest omelette? Are you raring to try the sheep brain in Morocco or would you rather put your faith in the full English?

PHUKET VEGETARIAN FESTIVAL Phuket, Thailand This not-for-the-faint-hearted festival celebrates the beginning of Taoist Lent, during which devout followers abstain from eating meat 5-13 and instead skewer themselves like kebabs. Less an exercise in empathy and more an attempt at connecting with Taoist gods, the faithful pierce their skin with sharp objects and walk over hot coals to enter a spiritual trance.

OCT

WHY: Taoism is practised by Phuket’s Chinese community, which believes abstaining from meat brings good health and peace of mind.

It has not been confirmed whether stabbing yourself in the mouth with a spear yields the same benefits, though the sacred rituals of this fest are said to bring good fortune.

OKTOBERFEST

us about it: laura.chubb@tntmagazine.com

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

CHILLI FESTIVAL

Scone Palace, Perth, Scotland

Do you really need us to convince you? Tent upon 21-6 tent of beer-swilling, good time guys and gals. Dirndls and lederhosen. Booze by the stein. Pork and pretzels by the truckload. And the knowledge that this is you taking part in culture and tradition, not just getting royally pissed. Ace.

Brace yourself for chilli beer, chilli shooters, hot sauces, 21-22 chilli jams and chutneys, and of course some super-hot curries. The weak need not apply.

SEP-OCT

oktoberfest.de/en

WORLD STATUES FESTIVAL Arnhem, Netherlands

This year marks the eighth Annual World Championship 29-30 of Living Statues, with up to 150 ‘living statues’ competing to astonish the crowds at this odd fest. worldstatues.nl/en

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phuketvegetarian.com

Munich, Germany

SEP

Is eating your favourite part of travelling? Tell

DO IT BECAUSE: You enjoy wincing and saying “oof” a lot. You’re intrigued by the pain the human body is capable of coping with. You want to snap some seriously good photos. You need confirmation that vegetarianism is certifiably loopy.

SEP

chillifest.net

NUART STREET FESTIVAL Stavanger, Norway

This annual festival is all about street art, displaying 20 both sanctioned and unsanctioned artworks around the city.

An international team of street artists will also be leaving their marks on the city’s walls, giving this art event a far freer format than the usual curated, exhibition-centric public art shows.

UNTIL OCT

nuartfestival.no/home

Photo: Getty. Research: Esin Huseyin

According to research by currency specialists Caxton FX, one in two Brit tourists will spend more on eating than they will on getting to and staying at their holiday destination, suggesting that visitors are increasingly treating the local cuisine as an integral part of their wanderings abroad.

On the one hand, I’m incredibly encouraged by this news. Nothing irks me more than tourists turning their noses up at the native delicacies (too oily, too hot .... too damn interesting) and insisting on finding a burger. Eat a burger every day when you get home if you must, but when you’re abroad, you’re out of your bubble, you’re surrounded by the new and unfamiliar – so, come on, live a little. I’m sure you can brave a drop of oil.

However, if all your holiday money is going on stuffing yourself silly every day, I wonder exactly how much of the culture you’re soaking up? Food is part of experiencing another country, but I’m not sure you’re going to see everything that’s worth seeing from inside a restaurant – indeed, it may become harder and harder to see anything at all over the top of your impressively cultured gut.

My point? Munching overseas is like munching anywhere, really – it should be part of a healthy, balanced travel diet.

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DOPE TOURS IN JAMAICA Jamaican farmers are cashing in by offering visitors to the island tours of marijuana farms, it has emerged. Associated Press reported that dreadlocked tour guides are taking curious travellers around Jamaica’s hidden plantations, even allowing customers to sample the goods as they go – including what is alleged to have been Bob Marley’s favourite strain. While such tours are illegal, The Ganja Law Reform Coalition, an island group that is urging the government to decriminalise weed, is preparing to host an international conference in the capital of Kingston later this month. On the agenda is the possibility of cannabis commercialisation.

Photo: Thinkstock

VISIT BIG BROTHER The National Trust has announced it will be hosting tours of the Big Brother house in Hertfordshire later this month. The site, which has seen a number of tabloid scandals unfold over the course of the reality TV show’s run, will be open to the public on September 27 and 28, giving visitors the opportunity to wander around the house on an 80-minute guided tour, including a stint in the iconic Diary Room. The National Trust’s London Director, Ivo Dawnay, said: “The Big Brother house is a special place. It says something about the epoch we’re living through.”

Take a trip: tours of marijuana farms include a toke or two

TRAVEL ‘PERSONALITIES’ More than half of British tourists say they experience personality changes while on holiday, while 42 per cent notice a shift in their partner’s character when abroad. Research

by TravelSupermarket found that a third of respondents were surprised by how their relationship changed once they’d jetted off, with over a quarter of people reporting arguing more than usual with their travel buddy for reasons including not being accommodating to others’ desires, the other person being bossy or unwilling to do the same thing as them, and disagreements over budget. That’s science, folks.

LASER ON A PLANE A flight to Seattle made an emergency landing after a passenger used a homemade laser to burn holes in the plane’s seats. The service from Minneapolis, which was carrying 105 passengers and five crew, was diverted when staff detected the smell of smoke. Upon landing, emergency services found no trace of fire, but the FBI reportedly arrested Alex Philip Langloys Miller, an unemployed chemist from Minneapolis. A number of small burn holes were apparently found in the fabric near Miller’s assigned seat. He is due to face charges of wilful damage to an aircraft.

tntMagazine.com

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[Caption]

Become a sculpture vulture: Yinka Shonibare’s Egg Fight.

He currently has an exhibit at Yorkshire Sculpture Park

eat, drink, sleep LEEDS WAKEFIELD

UNITED KINGDOM

GETTING THERE Take the train from London King’s Cross to Leeds from £26 return with East Coast, when booked in advance. eastcoast.co.uk

Sweet: Félix Gonzáles-Torres’s foil-wrapped goodies at the Henry Moore Institute, Leeds

For excellent French fare, Brasserie Blanc is hard to beat. With a scenic location on the Leeds waterfront, it’s great on a sunny day. Mains from £9.90. brasserieblanc.com The Kings Arms pub is a traditional Yorkshire boozer in Wakefield. Come for a Sunday roast and some local tipples by one of the roaring fires. Mains from £10.50. thekingsarmsheath.co.uk For great views over the city’s rooftops, try Angelica, located on the top floor of the new Trinity Mall. Cocktails from £8. angelica-restaurant.com Ale fans should head to The Midnight Bell, the flagship pub of Leeds Brewery. There’s a revolving selection of excellent local brews and beers from further afield. Pints from around £3. midnightbell.co.uk

Pretty city: the waterfront in Leeds

Bold design: Hepworth Wakefield 46

tntMagazine.com

Pop: Warhol’s Silver Clouds

Hepworth: Family Of Man

For convenience it’s hard to beat the DoubleTree by Hilton, located right next to the train station. Rooms from £89pn, B&B. doubletree3.hilton.com Opt for a low-key stay at the welcoming Old Manor House B&B. Owner Vicky does a mean cooked breakfast. Rooms from £25pppn, B&B. (19 Sycamore Lane, West Bretton, Wakefield, WF4 4JR, tel. 01924 830 324).

New York and DACS London. Image courtesy Leo Castelli Gallery, New York, Facebook, Jonty Wilde

YORKSHIRE, ENGLAND

MANCHESTER

Photos: Getty, The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc./ Artists Rights Society (ARS),

Sculpture triangle

UKTRIP

Art beat Follow the trail of Yorkshire’s Sculpture Triangle for surprising artsy finds to rival the capital WORDS JANE DURU

When it comes to culture outside London, Manchester and Liverpool are usually touted as the places to go, but the area around Leeds is finally getting in on the act. Yorkshire has artsy pedigree in spades – legends Henry Moore, Barbara Hepworth and David Hockney were all born here. And with the award-winning Hepworth Wakefield gallery making a recent addition to the cultural landscape, a new art trail dubbed the ‘Sculpture Triangle’ is showing off the region’s top sculptural spots.

Henry Moore Institute I’ve done something naughty. See, I’m eating a piece of art – more commonly known as a boiled sweet. It’s OK, though.

The piece by Félix González-Torres, a square carpet of foilwrapped sweets, is part of the current Indifferent Matter: From Object To Sculpture exhibition at the Institute, where visitors are free to take the sweets and ponder the nature of the medium. Next door, classical marble busts are encased in neon grid cages whilst Andy Warhol’s helium-filled silver balloons bounce around the room.

“Of all the Sculpture Triangle, we’re the hidden gem,” says Rebecca, who’s taking me on a tour of the Institute.

She’s biased, but it’s true – despite being in Leeds city centre, it’s the quietest place I visit. Rather than housing a Moore retrospective, the Institute promotes sculpture in its own right, fulfilling his wish to bring the artform to a wider audience. Art boffins will also be impressed by the Institute’s library, filled with all the obscure coffee table art books you could ever want.

OPEN: Tuesday-Sunday, 11am-5.30pm. Admission free.

MORE: henry-moore.org Yorkshire Sculpture Park Next, it’s off to Wakefield, just a 10-minute train journey from Leeds. Another 15-minute drive later, I’m at Yorkshire Sculpture Park. Set within the pastoral idyll that is the former Bretton Estate, it opened in 1977. ‘Park’ doesn’t do it justice – this is the biggest open-air gallery in Europe, with more than 60 sculptures dotted across 500 acres. Best grab a map then.

Passing picnicking families and bleating sheep, I head for Yinka Shonibare’s Wind Sculptures (“like large, glorious handkerchiefs caught by the wind,” according to YSP), part

of the temporary exhibition. “You’ve got to have a nosey round the edges, see what you find,” says Imogen, my guide, as we come across Barbara Hepworth’s Family Of Man, the bronze sculptures completed shortly before her death.

They’re on a hillside a little further away from the main gallery. This is a place that rewards the curious.

Deeper within the park is an Anthony Gormley statue and David Nash’s Black Steps. It’s a wonderful way to see sculpture, far removed from the sometimes stuffy gallery environment.

OPEN: Summer: YSP Centre, 10am-6pm; main galleries, 10am5pm. Winter: YSP Centre, 10am-5pm; main galleries, 10am4pm. Admission free.

MORE: ysp.co.uk Hepworth Wakefield A quick drive back into town and I’m at the Hepworth Wakefield gallery. It is the newest kid on the cultural block, and its striking, brutalist design by David Chipperfield Architects has won several plaudits since opening in 2011.

Architecture aside, it’s Barbara Hepworth I’m here for.

Born in 1903 in Wakefield, the gallery honours her work. The Hepworth Gift, a collection of 40-plus life-sized models, her tools (among them, a much abused cheese grater), sketches, and some finished sculptures form the centrepiece. A sixmetre prototype of one of her most iconic pieces, Winged Figure (which sits on the side of John Lewis HQ in London’s Oxford Street), lets me get close enough to see where Hepworth added rough marks into the aluminium.

As well as her sculptures, temporary exhibitions are also held here, fielding works from both British and international artists, and this summer the gallery will open a new exhibition space in the disused 19th-century mill adjacent.

Yorkshire’s cultural transformation is truly underway.

OPEN: Tuesday-Sunday: 10am-5pm. Admission free.

MORE: Check out hepworthwakefield.org

NEXT WEEK

For more on the Yorkshire Sculpture Triangle visit ysculpture.co.uk

Snow joke: Winter sports hols without leaving the UK

TNTMAGAZINE.COM

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LATEDEALS

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Take a bite: a trip to the Big Apple is £950pp with lowcostholidays.com

DEAL OF THE WEEK CUT-RATE ROME

£170

Two nights with lowcostholidays.com (0800 111 6271). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation at Park Hotel Ginevra and return flights from London Stansted.

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< £250

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AFRICA A 15-day African Sky tour costs £290pp (save 50 per cent) with Absolute Africa (0208 742 0226; absoluteafrica.com).

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PAMPS SELFIE: “HEY GUYS, I’M NOT HIM” Matthew Frost, from Sydney, Australia

ST LOUIS SIMB Don Cruttenden, from Sydney, Australia

WHAT’S THE STORY? “I survived the bull run into Plaza de Toros de Pamplona, with my first view of the bulls just after dead man’s corner. I chased them into the arena with my heart out of my chest more from the anarchy among the runners than the bulls. From memory, this is when the fourth bull came out. The euphoria of running into the stadium had waned by now so I decided to get a bit cheeky and send the boys back home a selfie. I didn’t see the guy get hit before taking the shot but he makes a nice addition.”

WHAT’S THE STORY? “I went to Senegal for three weeks in August and shared the time between Dakar and St Louis. While in St Louis I saw some pretty amazing stuff in the local community that was totally uncontrived or ‘touristy’. I attended this yearly Simb (false lion), a ceremonial dance traditional among the Wolof tribespeople. It lasted several hours with dancing, drumming and this amazing facepaint. St Louis, an old crumbling French colonial town, is an absolute photographer’s dream.”

WHERE IN THE WORLD?

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BETWEEN CRETE AND DIA ISLAND, GREECE Zoe Drummond, from Eastbourne, England

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BEER FESTIVALS

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It’s so close we can practically hear the clinking of steins, the glugging of beer and the drunken slurring of Lederhosen-wearing festival-goers. Yes, it’s nearly time for Oktoberfest. If you haven’t planned your trip to Munich this year, never fear! Just head to Edinburgh, where the Scots are swapping their kilts for lederhosen, or try one of the beer festivals listed right at a later date.

The original Oktoberfest is a 16-day festival, which has been held in Munich, Germany, since 1810, halted only during World War I and II. That’s some serious commitment to beer.

But if you can’t take 16 days off work, hate to fly (although, then, how did you get here?), you can head to Scotland for Oktoberfest instead.

Admittedly, you wouldn’t naturally think to yourself, “Hmm, I can’t make it to Munich, so where should I go instead? I know, Edinburgh”, but we’re here to tell you that it comes surprisingly bloody close.

If you can ignore the fact everyone has a Scottish accent and looks distinctly less Nordic than our European brethren – and we’re sure the strong beer will help you blur the lines – then you can close your eyes and think of Munich as you down German beers, munch on bratwurst and dance to Schlager music.

Setting up a 1500-capacity tent in the middle of the city at Princes Street Gardens, the festival goes on for five days, from October 9-13. Entry costs £5 on Thursday, Friday and Sunday and £10 on Saturday. Alternatively, you can plan ahead with a food, beer and seat reservation package for £34 per person (£39 on Saturday), which includes the entry fee. Sounds good, ja?

Well then, prost! edinburgh-oktoberfest.co.uk

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Denver, US

We all know that the Americans have to beat everyone at everything and, though it pains us to say it, they are goddamn good at making a brewski.

This seems surprising when they are comparatively new to this game, but without traditions to bind them they can be incredibly creative and experimental, producing flavoured brews like crème brûlée (yum) and curry (not-so yum). The Great American Beer Festival is October 10-12 this year. greatamericanbeerfestival.com

Photos: Thinkstock; supplied

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Pilsen, czech republic

The Pilsner Festival is a good option if you are interested in how your brew was made, and not just how it makes you feel after you’ve drunk copious amounts of it.

Celebrating the very first brew of Pilsner beer in 1842, you can visit the original brewery and museum, hearing the story behind how the amber nectar came to be and why it put Pilsen on the map. The fest takes place on October 5, but its olde-worlde pubs are worth a visit all year round. czechtourism.com/e/pilsner-fest

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brussels, belgium

Nautical but nice

Belgium is famed for its chocolate and beer, which means we love it more than our own mother.

The Belgian Beer Weekend has just finished, but we are already prepping our livers for next year. With more than 400 beers brewed locally, including by six monastery-based breweries, you can pick a pour from the 50-metre bar along Wall Street or wind (and wobble) your way around the stalls in the Grand Place central square. belgianbrewers.be

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Qingdao, china

There’s nothing like a San Miguel on a summer’s day, or a Kingfisher beer to wash down your curry, but Asian beers are otherwise often overlooked.

Not only will you get to try more unusual brews from the continent and beyond at the Qingdao International Beer Festival, but you will get to do it the Chinese way – i.e. by coupling your drinking with karaoke. Held every year for a fortnight from the second weekend of August, they are also super generous with free samples. Bonus. qingdaochinaguide.com

hotel du vin overview An upmarket boutique hotel slap-bang in the middle of The Lanes conservation area, the Hotel Du Vin Brighton is a top place to stay for a special occasion (in other words, it’s a bit pricey). A short walk from the seafront, it’s a collection of eccentric Gothic and mock Tudor buildings on the site of an old inn. Expect bizarre gargoyles, an impressive wine bar (the expert sommeliers know their stuff) and 49 bedrooms inside this venue, built in 1934 for Henekey’s wine merchants. rooms Sponsored by wellknown wine houses, each room has its own style. My superior double is in a cluster of rooms surrounding an outdoor drinking area.

Inside, there’s a king-size bed with super-soft Egyptian linen, a plasma TV, a walk-in monsoon shower and a freestanding roll-top bath. It’s impressive – and has heaps of character too, with a grown-up nautical theme. bill please Standard double rooms – with queen-size bed and ensuite bathroom – will set you back from £129pn.

2 Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD hotelduvin.com/locations/ brighton

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TRAVELTIPS

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Tropical: Kuang Si waterfall near Luang Prabang, Laos

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Q I'm flying to Luang Prabang in Laos to see my mate. But she's working there, so I want to explore the country for myself. Any suggestions? I need to see waterfalls. Is it too tight to visit Angkor Wat in Cambodia?

AK, via email A Luang Prabang is a fantastic town with lots

READERS’ TIPS ON OKTOBERFEST Party people: down steins after the rides

BE A PORKER Forget bratwurst and find yourself some pork knuckle. Get it with potato dumplings and pickled red cabbage.

Seriously, this is the beer absorbant of the gods.

Jess Short, via email

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Create a stunning record of your travels with easy-to-use online tools and the option to design your own pages with a range of fonts and colours. You can even add video content to digital versions!

A WILD RIDE Go on the theme park rides before you drink nine steins.

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of sights in the surrounding area, including some stunning waterfalls close by. Tat Kuang Si is a picturesque multiple tier waterfall set amid a jungle park that is a mere 20 miles from Luang Prabang. You can reach the park by tuk tuk, which are widely available, or by hiring a motorcycle. There are occasional minivan taxis available if you are travelling with others.

Tat Sae is another waterfall complex close to Luang Prabang, which is best viewed from August

to November (it disappears earlier in the year during the dry season). The waterfall’s cascade pools are accompanied by other attractions including elephant rides and a zip line trail. It's only half an hour by tuk tuk from Luang Prabang.

While Angkor Wat is one of Southeast Asia’s greatest sights, my advice would be to concentrate your trip on Luang Prabang, as there's lots to see and do in the town itself (the former Royal Palace and the enormous gold Buddha, Pra Bang, for example) and the area around it (such as Pak Ou caves, decorated with Buddhas, which you can reach via a pleasant boat journey along the Mekong River). If your heart’s set on going to Angkor Wat, your best bet is to fly from Luang Prabang to Angkor’s closest airport, Siem Reap. Vietnam Airlines flies direct, but it’s not cheap at around £200-£300.

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Icing on the Old Town: the pink bell tower of Sveta Bogoroditsa Church

Plovdiv BULGARIA

Colourful: courtyard at the Historical Museum

BULgaria SOFIA PLOVDIV

Local tipple: rakia

Refurb: Hostel Old Plovdiv

GETTING THERE Fly from London Stansted to Plovdiv from ÂŁ62 return with Ryanair. ryanair.com

Get outside: Tsar Simeon gardens 54

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Boho Bulgaria Six thousand years of history, killer local hooch and one of Europe’s best Old Towns. Better charge the camera for Bulgaria’s Plovdiv Words Anita Isalska

“My wife is one of the best potters in the Balkans,” grins a wizened old gent, leaning towards me over his breakfast of banitsa pastry. “But that’s not the talent I married her for!”

My new friend is too busy chuckling to share more about his wife’s special skill. And I wasn’t expecting bedroom confessions over my morning coffee. But I’m quickly getting used to the spirited atmosphere in Plovdiv.

Bulgaria’s historic second city oozes charisma from every cobblestoned street. Plovdiv’s six millennia of history have bequeathed it ancient ruins and one of the most (literally) colourful Old Towns you’ll ever see. The locals’ warmth and good humour make it a joy to explore. Best of all, Plovdiv is largely undiscovered by travellers, so it has been sheltered (for now) from rising prices and the onward march of European stag groups.

So as I stretch out and prepare to explore this little-known Eastern European gem, it’s hard not to feel a little smug.

But where to start in Bulgaria’s spiritual heartland, a city boasting heritage buildings, carnivore-pleasing cuisine, plus shopping and nightlife to rival Europe’s best?

The Free Plovdiv Tour (freeplovdivtour.com), where energetic volunteers steer travellers around the city, is the ideal introduction. When I rock up to the small crowd gathering for today’s tour, our guide Mariya is already fired up. “This is the biggest group I’ve ever guided!” she squeals, surveying 20 travellers who are already swapping war stories about rakia, the local liqueur.

There’s no risk of eyes glazing over during this unique city tour. “This is Miljo the Crazy, the symbol of Plovdiv,” pipes up Mariya, gesturing to a statue of a gurning joker in the shopping precinct. Miljo was an eavesdropper and loveable clown – not usually the kind of character memorialised by a statue. But Plovdiv’s citizens wanted to commemorate the person who so often brought them joy… even if he was a few slices short of a loaf. This irreverent spirit is woven throughout the city, from ironic graffiti to the locals’ ribald humour.

By the time our tour group winds its way into the Old Town, jaws are on the floor. The pink bell-tower of Sveta Bogoroditsa Church could be made out of icing, and the exquisitely restored 19th-century house fronts are painted in colours from peach to sky blue. Antique shops rub up against bohemian cafes, art galleries and shops selling traditional

Bulgarian produce, such as rose oil and ceramics. Outside the Ethnographic Museum is a daily craft fair that overflows the courtyard with traditional souvenirs such as Troyan pottery, decorated with a distinctive drip pattern.

Keen to learn more about my historic surrounds, I speak to Hristo Giulev. Together with his wife Velislava, Hristo has poured his heart and soul into restoring a National Monument

“

Travellers swap war stories about rakia

”

of Culture building dating to 1868. The result is the Hostel Old Plovdiv, a boutique guesthouse and a backpacker favourite.

“Plovdiv has always been a cultural and spiritual capital of Bulgaria,” Hristo explains. “You can feel the bohemian vibe of the city and the unique atmosphere, making you feel at ››

Ancient ruins: Plovdiv’s Roman Amphitheatre tntMagazine.com

55

home. And for me and my wife, every guest becomes a member of our family.”

After my whirlwind tour of Plovdiv, there’s only one way for me to unwind – sampling a local drop. I settle in at the open-air café on Nebet, one of Plovdiv’s seven hills. Local beers including Kamenitza and Zagorka are justly famous, but I’m eager to try ice-cold rakia.

Packing a punch at over 40 per cent ABV, this herb-scented liqueur is best accompanied by a salty portion of shopska salad (Bulgaria’s most typical). With a mountain of sheep’s cheese obscuring the crisp slices of cucumber and tomato, this is definitely my kind of side dish – and it’s the perfect complement to the main event, expertly grilled pork (another Bulgarian tradition).

With the sun setting over this delightfully different Eastern European city, I raise my rakia and meet the gaze of another group of travellers enjoying a drink. The smile we share seems to whisper: let’s keep this city our secret. ❚ More information on travel in Bulgaria at

bulgariatravel.org

Get crafty: a fair outside the Ethnographic Museum

NEXT WEEK Prague: Homeless tours of the Czech Republic’s capital

MIDRANGE

LUXURY

Need to load up on carbs before you hit the beers? Head to Gusto for gut-busting servings of pasta or a pizza slathered in local cheese.

Pasta dishes from £3. gustobg.com/en

Be charmed by Puldin Restaurant, one of Plovdiv’s most historic eateries. The rustic cellar is the perfect complement to the hearty meat dishes on the menu. Main courses from £5. (Knyaz Tseretelev 8, tel. +359 32 631 720)

Venture into the gilded interior of Philippopolis Restaurant & Café to luxuriate in five-star service and peruse a wine list longer than your arm. philippopolis.com

drink

Pull up a chair, grab a beer and settle in at Plovdiv’s best people-watching spot. Dreams café is just by the Tsar Simeon garden and fountains, the perfect spot for a drink in the autumn sunshine. (Knyaz Aleksander 42, tel. +359 32 627 143)

The name says it all. If you like your drinks strong, fruity and muddled with mint, Mojito Bar more than delivers. Dress to impress when you sashay into this slick cocktail joint.

Mojitos from £2. mojito-plovdiv.com

There’s no escape from the dance floor at house music haunt Plazma. Lose yourself in the chic monochrome décor and dance until the early hours with Plovdiv’s razorcheekboned crowd. Drinks from £3. clubplazma.com

sleep

The boutique Hostel Old Plovdiv is cosy, beautifully situated, and sociable without ruining your night’s sleep. It has won a loyal following thanks to its fabulous furnishings, hearty free breakfast and charming staff. Dorm beds from £10pn. hosteloldplovdiv.com

Say “ahh” in the luxurious spa facilities of the Noviz Hotel. This pint-sized venue has reasonably priced massage therapy and a sauna to steam away those travel aches and pains. Doubles start from £28pn. novizhotel.com

Fancy adding some colour to your visit? Each room in the plush Hotel Renaissance is characterised by a different colour scheme. The hotel itself is neatly positioned between the Old Town and the shopping precinct. Double rooms start from £50pn. renaissance-bg.com

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Elusive: just 1400 tigers roam across 40 national parks in India

Wildlife-spotting WORLDWIDE

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Where the wild things are Track down tigers, come face-to-face with polar bears and find gorillas in the mist. Who says a holiday needs to be relaxing? edited by laura chubb

Travel is all about adventure, and adventures don’t come much bigger than tracking down some of the world’s most formidable animals in their natural environment. Here’s our pick of the wildest trips you just can’t miss.

Gorillas, Uganda The rather confrontational name that is Bwindi Impenetrable Forest National Park turns out to be an empty threat, fortunately – home to half the world’s population of the critically endangered mountain gorilla, this area in southeast Uganda has four habituated groups of the powerful primates open to tourism.

But gorilla tracking itself isn’t a regular stroll in the park – it can take anything up to 10 hours to find the elusive animals in the dense undergrowth. Precipitous verges are climbed, rivers are crossed and a rusty machete, for hacking a path through the thick, thorny rainforest, is your best friend.

The park is located in one of the wildest regions on earth, bordering the Virunga Mountains, a chain of volcanoes running towards Rwanda.

Having similar DNA to humans, gorillas are highly susceptible to our illness and disease, and even catching a common cold could wipe out an entire family of them.

To help preserve the gorillas’ way of life, interaction with humans is minimised and park visitors are limited to one hour within the company of a group. Only 72 permits (costing up to £300 in high season) are issued every day. Of course it’s totally worth it for the privilege of observing these incredible animals in their natural environment. bwindiforestnationalpark.com Polar bears, Canada Home to all three of North America’s great bears – the grizzly, the black and the polar – Canada is a great place to see a range of fearsome fuzzies.

But perhaps most impressive is the polar – the world’s largest bear. The small town of Churchill, on the west shore of Hudson Bay, is invaded by about 1000 of them every October as they make their way to said bay, a fortuitous spot for hunting seals. Operators run tours in ‘tundra buggies’ at this time of year, and you can expect the bears to get

frighteningly close. Often they will even put their paws on the buggy and stand up to their full height in order to have a good look at the gawping tourists inside.

As incredible as seeing these bears in the flesh fur is, witnessing the oddity that is living in Churchill comes a close second. This is, after all, a town that come autumn is obliged to face the very real possibility of polar bears wandering down the streets in search of food. churchill.ca Chimpanzees, The Gambia Chimps are the closest living relatives to humans and coming up close to their thoughtful eyes and spookily human movements is a fascinating experience you won’t soon forget. You don’t want to get too close to a chimp, though – they are famously aggressive, incredibly strong and can jump distances of up to five metres.

In 1979, the Chimpanzee Rehabilitation Trust was founded at the River Gambia National Park, which is the official name for the three misleadingly named Baboon Islands on the water’s north bank, to reintroduce chimps that had been mistreated – either in the entertainment or the pet industry – back into the wild. The rescued chimps have gone forth and multiplied, with the fourth generation now swinging through these trees.

You can stay overnight at the CRT (you sleep in a safari tent in the forest) and take a tour of the islands. You’ll be guided around on a modest motorboat, from which you can stare at, and be stared at by, scores of chimps going about their business. The project receives some government funding and has a sponsorship programme, but money raised from such visits are crucial. chimprehab.com Tigers, India Half of the world’s wild tiger population can be found in India, so this is where you need to go for your best shot at spying the stripy cat. However, there are just 1400 tigers roaming across more than 40 national parks on the subcontinent, so you can’t expect to waltz in and be surrounded by the big fellas – patience is a virtue.

Probably the best chance you’ll have of seeing some is at Bandhavgarh National Park, in the state of Madhya tntMagazine.com

›› 61

Copper feel: orang-utans, Borneo

Land of giants: the Galapagos tortoise

All white: 1000 polar bears turn up in Churchill, Canada

Pradesh. Bandhavgarh might be relatively small, but the park has 27 tigers within 105sqkm, which it claims is the world’s highest density tiger population. Day trippers are offered a 99.99 per cent chance of spotting a tiger – not too shoddy odds. bandhavgarh-national-park.com Big Five, Kenya Known for its exceptional lion, leopard and cheetah population, Masai Mara is believed by many to be the ultimate safari destination. The Big Five are all present and correct – lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo, rhino – with zebras, giraffes and hippos also thrown in for good measure.

Then of course there is the famous migration of zebra, gazelles and wildebeest from the Serengeti in Tanzania between July and October. You’ll not see anything like this anywhere else in the world, as more than two million animals surge from the arid Serengeti to the pastures of Masai Mara – the biggest movement of animals on earth.

And you’re not just watching these guys make a run for it, but also the predators that follow them – lions, hyenas, and, once at the Mara River, snap-happy crocodiles.

As well as getting yourself on a game drive, make time to visit the villages of the Masai tribespeople who give the national park its name. tourism.go.ke

And these aren’t any old animals you’re papping. Much of the wildlife here is endemic to the Galapagos, which means you can’t see these species anywhere else. Blue-footed boobies – comical-looking seabirds with incongruously bright-blue feet – are irresistibly endearing. On the not-socute end of the scale, coal-black marine iguanas stalk the islands, now and then sneezing out violent jets of snot. (This is the delightful manner in which the iguanas expel excess salt from the marine algae that forms their diet.)

Galapagos species, Ecuador Usually when you go wildlife watching, it’s all about the hushed reverence and keeping a respectful distance. Not so in the Galapagos islands, where the creatures are so tame they have an air of the jaded celeb about them when you get up close to snap ‘em, as if they’re thinking, “I am, like, sooo over this photo thing.”

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On safari: the ultimate African adventure

Photos: Thinkstock; Getty; Galapagos Odyssey. Additional words: Mike MacEacheran; Andrew Westbrook

Say cheese: gorillas in Uganda

The Galapagos giant tortoise typically weighs in at 400kg.

You can dive with hammerhead sharks. It goes on.

Of course, this one-off experience comes at a price.

Approach it backpacker-style and trawl the city of Guayaquil in Ecuador for a late deal – there are bargains to be had. galapagospark.org Orang-utans, Borneo If you’ve got a thing for red heads, you’ll love the Bornean orang-utan, an endangered native Asian species thanks largely to deforestation.

The Sepilok Orang-utan Rehabilitation Centre in Malaysian Borneo was the first official rehab project to devote itself to the species, opening in 1964. Comprising 43sqkm of lowland equatorial rainforest at the edge of Kabili Sepilok Forest Reserve, it’s a popular spot to see these incredible – and rapidly diminishing – great apes. Although sightings can never be guaranteed, it’s the most reliable place to see the ginge in its natural habitat.

With their shaggy red coats, expressive faces and gangly arms that can measure up to two metres, they will easily beat Prince Harry/ Christina Hendricks (delete as you prefer) to the coveted spot of ‘favourite ginger’ in your heart. orangutan-appeal.org.uk Penguins, Antarctica An expedition to Antarctica will almost certainly take you to Greenwich Island in the South Shetlands, where 8000 gentoo penguins reside. Barely 70cm tall, and with red beaks that make them look as though they’re wearing lipstick, the gentoos are immediate stars.

You’ll see them slip and stagger, flap and falter, the whole time looking lost in the world and bemused by your appearance. And you will fall in love with them.

Not only that, but these adorable oafs tend to approach tour groups fearlessly, staring for long periods, heads cocked, before jumping off again, invariably falling on their faces.

And it’s not just Greenwich Island – basically everywhere you pull up on a visit to Antarctica will see you greeted by thousands of penguins and their chicks. Not even the hardest of heart can resist. But you will have to resist the urge to pack them up and take them home with you – photos only, Pingunappers. iaato.org/home ❚

Oktoberfest

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plona, La Tom with FFT to Pam d lle ve tra ve ha “I al Rock! “ xt? - First Festiv ne re he W . st fe and Oktober

The 25th April is one of New Zealand and Australia’s most important days, where we remember the ANZAC’s who have fought bravely, and especially those in WW1. Whether you choose Turkey or The Western Front in Belgium you will be left with lasting memories of the sites visited and the rememberance services that we will share. We have various tours on sale now for all our packages in 2014

Gallipoli We have a variety of packages from 2 days - 2 weeks. You can experience the diverse culture of Turkey, visit some of the worlds most famous hertiage sites.

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desperatelyseeking

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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email seeking@tntmagazine.com. they’re a bunch of shimmering knobjockeys. So Jazz, consider this my confession. Paul SO IN LOVE : I know my significant other Paul only reads TNT ironically, but he told me he was going to send you a Desperately Seeking this week, and that he wanted me to read it.

What kind of person would think to do that in 2013? Only a genuinely inspired thinker. So I thought I’d write in too and say that Paul,

NICE NUTS, BABY : I like big nuts and cannot lie, you other mothers can’t deny, that when a bloke walks in with a pair of tight jeans, and a big lunchbox that means you get sprung, you wanna pull up his briefs and take a look, cuz you know his balls are full as fuck. Deep in the jeans he’s wearing, I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring … In other words, I’m looking for a man with very large testicles, penis size is not an issue,

Things the Queen should do before she dies

#000 #547 Risk the wrath of One Direction fans via a dirty tackle on Louis Tomlinson

my muse, I can’t tell you how meaningful these past 73 and a half weeks have been. You’ve opened my eyes to so much, you’ve taught me the vital beauty of contempt.

I treasure our relationship. Jazz ALBURY ESCAPE : Dear 143a, it was us. We blocked the toilet with a sanitary napkin, we left a condom in the shower after a late night romp, we left cooked fish in the frying pan for weeks, we’re addicted to Mastichat and we ruined Nick’s flower garden. We feel safe telling you now we’re back in Albury/ Wodonga. Peace, Kat and Mitch

I just love massive nuts. Barbara HERO IN A HEAD SCARF : To the beautiful Devonshire girl who I shared a romantic love-at-first-sight moment with while wearing my fetching bandana in Pamplona’s bullring. I was being chased by a young bull and you were laughing behind the barrier in the front row.

I made sure I ran past you a few times. You high-fived me and I shouted “Where do you live?” You replied “London!” I said I’d find you there. So, your move gorgeous. Oz SNEAKY TOOL : Hey Jase (Fag drag TNT 1567), have to set the

record straight on your accusation of my conspicuous smoking. I have actually quit, but in its place I’ve taken up sneaky wanking. It’s easier if there’s danger involved, that’s why I don’t close the door the whole way. Bet you’re glad you brought that up now. Dag SERIOUSLY, OZ! : Tony Abbott.

Tony ‘Fucking’ Abbott! You have got to be kidding me Australia.

Sure, Rudd’s shafting of Gillard before the election was a total asshole move, but really, Tony Abbott! Way to give yourselves a kick in the dick for the next four years. Enjoy that. Don’t get me started on the stack of you voting for Clive Palmer … Eddie in London INDECENT PROPOSAL : Dear the backyard cricket yobbo that I caught ‘getting a ball’ from our balcony. We both know you were perving on my sexy wife. I’m sorry I cursed at you, next time come in for a cuppa and we’ll see where things go... Nick PRIDE FREE : I need money, and quick. Am basically willing to do anything, within reason (the reason being I need really quick money).

Hook me up brothers, Vince SPANISH PUSSY : To the Spanish girl in the tight black top with a cat on it who I saw lasciviously sucking olives in Gordon’s Wine Bar. You cradled your glass of red with a wrist action that made this rosy-cheeked Kiwi blush, while your dark eyes spoke of Mediterranean pleasures not known in Berkshire. If you want to share a bottle of the finest Fat Bastard get in touch. Brad

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KARMA SUITED : It wasn’t even a sliver of black silk, it was a breeze, a sense, a sheen. There you were, real, beneath it, my eternal aching love, my life, the autumnhaired phoenix of my heart. The booming club lights, the seething bass, the writhing mass, and you alone, still, perfect, waiting for our existence to become mutual. Or for your mate to get your coat. Either way. I thought you were well fit, so can we go out? Nandos? Bazza HALF A BRAIN? : Is there a manual for not being a dick on the train or Tube? There bloody well should be. Here’s a few chapters to start it off. If you’re standing in the doorway, lift your head from your fucking Kindle for a moment to see if you’re in someone’s way.

If you’re getting off at the next stop, make the poor pricks you’re going to suddenly barge out of the way aware. Fold your fucking newspaper – it takes up half the space you inconsiderate tool.

Headphones are so other people CAN’T HEAR your music you doof, doof-obsessed tosser. All common sense really. Mick EVIDENT SARCASM : My girlfriend doesn’t understand me, which in many ways is helpful, because if she did I’m fairly certain she’d despise me. How do I break it to her that my ‘amazing sarcasm’ is my genuine feelings: I do love McDonald’s and The Big Bang Theory and lager and every sport in the world. She says her friends love my ‘shimmering indifference’, but what they don’t get is that actually I just hate them, because

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