“YOU ARE EXPOSING EVERYONE ELSE YOU COME INTO CONTACT WITH, EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS.” — DR. GARLOVE
PLEASE STAY HOME AND WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS
TOGETHER.
APRIL 2020
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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contents APRIL 2020
spotlights ENCOURAGE
4 Manifesto 10 Is this the best of times? 20 Dealing with disappointment: allow your child to grieve
36 Keep the connection —
how to reach out to help older family and neighbors
24 INSPIRE
16 Life finds a way 34 Three lessons I learned parenting during the pandemic
LIFESTYLE
18 Hide those roots! Extend your hair color
6 Today’s Woman
28 Fond of Louisville: a springtime treat
22 Ideas from a teacher
44 Dating from afar
INFORM
In The Now
to help your day
38 28 Things
Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month
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30 Get the kids in the kitchen 46 The ultimate bad timing 48 A refreshing spring drink
features
42
8 Creating a Daily Practice
Art projects to stimulate your mind and rev up your creativity.
12 Get Outside Ideas for enjoying nature while social distancing. 24 Maybe It’s Time
to Grow Something
Plant a garden anywhere, then eat the fruits of your labor.
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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WE
APRIL 2020 | VOL. 30 | NO. 5
A Plea from a Local Doctor
PUBLISHER Cathy S. Zion publisher@todaysmedianow.com
By Dr. Amy L. Garlove, pediatrician with Norton Children’s Medical Associates-Brownsboro, featured on the cover.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Anita Oldham editor@todaysmedianow.com
WILL
“If this is not causing your life to be completely changed, in every area, you are doing it wrong. If you are hosting dinner parties, you are doing it wrong. If you are running to the grocery/hardware store/ Target every time the mood strikes, you are doing it wrong. If your kids are not complaining every day that they want to be with their friends, you are doing it wrong. If you are traveling outside of what is required for your “essential worker” job, you are doing it wrong. If you are wearing N95 masks to the grocery store, when doctors and nurses are going without, you are doing it wrong.
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Tiffany White tiffany@todaysmedianow.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lucy M. Pritchett EDITORIAL DIRECTOR April Allman april@todaysmedianow.com DESIGN DIRECTOR Jill Cobb jill@todaysmedianow.com PHOTO DIRECTOR/PHOTOGRAPHER Melissa Donald melissa@todaysmedianow.com
GET THROUGH If you are on a beach, and it isn’t part of your private backyard, you are doing it wrong. If you are participating in any street parties, in any part of town, you are doing it wrong. If you don’t treat every interaction with another human (outside of your in-home family) as if you could pass this disease to them, and them to you, you are doing it wrong.
GRAPHIC DESIGNER Jillian Jones jillian@todaysmedianow.com CAMPAIGN MANAGER Jessica Alyea jessica@todaysmedianow.com OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR Scheri Stewart Mullins scheri@todaysmedianow.com BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR Rachel Reeves rachel@todaysmedianow.com SENIOR MEDIA CONSULTANTS Susan Allen susan@todaysmedianow.com Teri Hickerson teri@todaysmedianow.com MEDIA CONSULTANTS Jennifer Phillips jennifer@todaysmedianow.com
Every time you don’t play by the rules, you are not only setting yourself up for exposure, you are exposing everyone else you come into contact with, even if you don’t have any symptoms.
Terri Waller twaller@todaysmedianow.com CIRCULATION MANAGER W. Earl Zion
I have to go to work, and I have to reuse equipment that may not even protect me, and it may not even protect you when you come see me and you are still doing it wrong. I have bruises around my nose & mouth from the mask that I wear to try to protect me as best I can and I have colleagues around the world who are exhausted and sick and dying and making decisions that were never meant to be part of the Hippocratic Oath, and you are still doing it wrong. I can’t hug my kids when I come home after a long, scary, gut-wrenching day because I am potentially teeming with infection, and I have many friends who have just moved away from their families so they aren’t at risk, and you are still doing it wrong.
THIS
Please stay home. We will get through this together. 4
April 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
April 2020 Today’s Woman Manifesto
The rules apply to all of us, and yet so many are still doing it wrong. If you aren’t sure if you should be doing something, err on the side of caution, and don’t do it. STAY HOME. That actually means STAY HOME. STAY. HOME. This is hard for everyone, but every person who thinks these rules do not apply to you is making it harder.”
Today’s Woman is published monthly by: Zion Publications, LLC 9780 Ormsby Station Road, Suite 1400 Louisville, KY 40223 Phone: 502.327.8855 TodaysWomanNow.com TodaysMediaNow.com The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the publisher. Today’s Woman magazine does not endorse or guarantee any advertiser’s product or service. Copyright 2020 by Zion Publications LLC, all rights reserved. Reproduction or use of editorial or graphic content in any manner is prohibited without permission from Zion Publications LLC.
ADVERTISE: Call 502.327.8855 or email advertising@todaysmedianow.com.
REPRINTS: Call 502.327.8855 or email reprints@todaysmedianow.com.
SUBSCRIBE: Send $18 to the above address for 12 monthly issues.
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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I N T H E N OW inform
|
inspire
|
encourage
#TodaysWomanShareIdeas
@AIRY.MYTHS showing off her cozy, aesthetic, and productive workspace. #Repost
l Everyone’s workspace looks a little different these days. Many might have the blur of children running through their video calls or pets trying to sit on their laps to get their attention. What’s your workspace look like?
YOUR WORDS
What brings you hope during this time? The simplest things like this GORGEOUS weather!! @PDRINTERIORS
God’s promise
Sunshine @TERRISTIME
The flowers and trees blooming @BRITTANID2
Painting for friends and family @WHITTS_END_ STUDIO
I have had to distance myself from my mom and it’s been touch but I care about her so much so I have to do this to keep her healthy...so hope is caring! @TAMMYYATES317
@LIGON0616 We love hearing from you! Watch our Facebook page and Instagram stories for a monthly question! Tag photos on Instagram with #TodaysWomanLove or #TodaysWomanShareIdeas.
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#TodaysWomanShareIdeas Baby’s first pandemic. #Repost @MARYNEAL_
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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“ I T I S O F T E N T H E S I M P L E D A I LY P R A C T I C E S T H AT
Creating a
Daily Practice
By Lucy M. Pritchett
S
ome women thrive on keeping a loose and spontaneous schedule. I am not one of them. My idea of a good day is a well-kept calendar/planner, a To Do List with all items checked off, and my daily art practice.
My routines and rituals support and sustain me. When I began life as a freelance writer, I knew better than to wait for inspiration to strike before I sat down at the keyboard. Persistence is the key. Just write. Every day. When I started to paint with watercolors, I knew I could apply the same principle — make art every day.
Filling a small sketchbook (4”x3”) with illustrations created with Tombow watercolor brush pens every day quickly results in a portfolio of work. Day by day the pages accumulate, leaving a record of my practice.
Then, along with painting, I started keeping a sketchbook. Later, I discovered collage. Eventually, more crafty paper items showed up — handmade little books, notecards, junk journals, and the creation of all sorts of vintage embellishments to enjoy. (Thank you, YouTube.) On these pages you will see a few results of this daily practice. None of these projects will find their way to an art museum or gallery, but that is not the point. As a writer, I am used to watching my words bloom on the page or computer screen. As a daily artist, I still get a thrill of seeing and touching something that I created with my own hands.
Photos by Melissa Donald
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My daily mantra: Step away from the screen and step into the studio.
I N F L U E N C E O U R L I V E S I N D R A M AT I C WAY S . ”
— Alaric Hutchinson
(Top) I set a project for myself of painting a flower or some sort of botanical image each day for 30 days. These were done on 4.5”x6” sheets of watercolor paper. I displayed them by hanging the day’s finished piece with tiny clothespins on a ‘clothesline’ strung on the side of my refrigerator. Instant art gallery. (MIddle) A handmade collage journal helps use up my abundant supply of decorative papers, stickers, washi tape, images, and other ephemera. The small pages (3.5”x2.5”) mean that I can create something quickly and don’t get bogged down with thinking too much about the design. Each page is dated using an old-fashioned library due-date stamp. (Right) These handmade tags resulted from a daily project of creating tiny pieces of collage art. I made prototype tags of different sizes and shapes (the largest is 2.5”x4” and the smallest is 1.5”x2”) and dug into my art supplies to decorate. Each one is dated on the back.
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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IS THIS THE BEST OF TIMES? By Bob Mueller Reflect on the worst of times and see how they changed you.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”
W
hen I read Charles Dickens’ words, I think he was describing not only my life, but all lives. Take some time to reflect on the trials and tribulations in your past life and how those times contribute to the fullness and richness of your current life. As upsetting as these situations may have been, ask yourself if they were not in some way essential in making your life more authentic, vibrant, meaningful, and joyful. I have come to understand that each of us has not only a physical immune system, but also a powerful psychological immunity. This remarkable system is at the foundation of our innate thriving response, defined as total joyful immersion in the simplest aspects of our daily living. We can awaken to that inborn response, and those who have found it through their times of misery can help lead the way. Only those who have learned to thrive through crises, or learned from others who have, can fully understand what it means to flourish and deeply ONLY THOSE savor every moment of their WHO HAVE LEARNED lives. You have untapped, TO THRIVE THROUGH innate evolutionary CRISES . . . CAN FULLY strengths, made not only UNDERSTAND WHAT IT to carry you through any MEANS TO FLOURISH trauma but also to help AND DEEPLY SAVOR you become stronger and EVERY MOMENT OF elevated by it. Because of THEIR LIVES. Laughing Through the Pain your natural thrive-ability, there is nothing that can happen I visited a young woman suffering from pancreatic cancer. I always knew to you that has to prevent you from when I was close to her hospital room because of her unique and contagious experiencing a deeply meaningful and giggle. When she passed, it seemed as if someone had unplugged a wonderful music profoundly more joyful life. that resonated through the hospital walls. She had told me that every morning was If life has handed you a dirty deal, it may a cause for celebration for those like her facing death. also have handed you a new lease on life in This amazing woman had watched hours of videotapes of comedians that her the form of new goals, new meanings, and husband had made for her, and everyone would say how they could hear her an authentic feeling of being alive that laughing most of the day or late into the night. “Those are my painkillers,” she said. you have not yet experienced. You may be “When I laugh, my pain is much less. You know what people say when they are ready to learn that your regrets about your laughing really hard, ‘Stop it. You’re killing me’? Well, for me, it’s the reverse. If I stop past and worries about your future have laughing, it will kill me. The pain is much worse when I’m not laughing.” Research in caused you to lose sight of the present positive psychology clearly shows that a hardy laugh does have pain-reducing and where happiness grows. You may be ready immune-enhancing capacities. to learn what the new positive psychology Her husband said, “She kept laughing up to the end. She really did die laughing. Just is discovering: we all have the capacity not thinking about that goofy laugh of hers makes me smile again. I wish we had a tape only to survive and recover from crises, of it to play to remind us of how it lightened the hearts that always seem so heavy.” but to thrive and flourish more than ever. Bob Mueller (bobmueller.org) is the mission & stewardship officer at Hosparus Health.
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Photo by Aubrey Argabright
“N
Get Outside
ature connection is vital during this time of uncertainty. We can count on daily rhythms and cycles of the sun and moon, birds chirping at dawn, and flowers blooming in the spring, even when we can’t count on other parts of our life to be stable. Spending time outdoors improves immunity (make sure to soak in at least 30 minutes of sunshine a day
to get Vitamin D), decreases anxiety symptoms, and increases sleep quality, just to name a few benefits. Also, many people will experience loneliness and isolation with the restrictions of limited social interaction. Connecting with natural elements, such as trees, plants, and animals can decrease loneliness, which is a huge factor in depression and poor health outcomes.”
— Jennifer Owens, Bridge Counseling and Wellness Co-founder and Therapist
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Photo by Erika Doll
Move. “I get out in the sun, take a walk around the building, or even just stretch in my office. I pay attention to where tension is in my body.” Get quiet. “It can help to shut down everything around me and check in with myself. Do I need to eat, drink water, talk to a trusted friend?” Give myself kindness. “My daily routine is a big deal to me, but sometimes it gets derailed. Instead of beating myself up, I aim for compassion and know that I can get back on track again.”
We interviewed Zenebia Law about staying happy in our November issue. Her checklist still applies, maybe even more during the pandemic.
— Zenebia Law
Ways to enjoy the outdoors while social distancing To find out how to get the best mental health benefits from your outside time, we talked with Jennifer Owens, Bridge Counseling and Wellness co-founder and therapist. • Practice mindful walking by focusing on your breathing or noticing your feet making contact with the earth. • Take a sensory walk where you focus on one sense. For example: focus on your sense of hearing by noticing the patterns of sounds and communication around you. On your next walk, focus on touch and the textures of the natural world. • Walk barefoot or sit/stand barefoot outdoors for at least 10 minutes as another way to maximize healing.
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• Create nature scavenger hunts for fun with the kids. • Connect with others by sending photographs of yourself in nature and sharing ideas. Use the hashtags #TeamKentucky, #HealthyAtHome, and #TodaysWomanShareIdeas to offer others inspiration. • Visit local parks or areas near your home that have wide walking paths or spacious fields so you can keep your distance easily. Avoid crowded parking lots or areas where it is difficult to maintain a 6-foot distance. Jennifer is also an Ecotherapist and Certified Kentucky Master Naturalist and specializes in an outdoor-mindfulness-based approach to wellness.
LIFE FINDS A WAY By Hannah Drake
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”
T
his quote rings true as we are now facing the realization of just how connected we are. While we have lived increasingly separated lives, we are learning that what happens to one person even around the world can affect us all. This time has made me think about people that, admittedly, I never really gave much thought. I didn’t think about the grocery worker stocking the shelves. I didn’t think about the Walmart
worker making sure the shelves had toilet paper. I didn’t think about the truck driver bringing goods to the store. This pandemic has truly made me stop and think about everyone and just how interconnected our lives truly are. From the grocery store worker to the people in the factory packaging toilet paper. Their lives are connected to my life. I know this moment in time will pass. We will get through this, but what I hope remains is the realization that our lives are intertwined, and I cannot be all that I can be until you are all that you are supposed to be. Please remain positive, cry, laugh, find your moments of normalcy and savor them. And remember, there is still life here. The leaves will still grow. The sun will shine. Flowers will bloom. Life will find a way. It always does. Hannah Drake is an author, activist, and spoken word artist.
Write It Out
To keep on track and have a good outlet, here are some questions to answer for yourself, suggested by Nicole Sartini-Cprek, Bridge Counseling and Wellness co-founder and therapist:
Illustration by Jillian Jones
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Today’s Woman / April 2020
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Hide those Roots!
Extend Your Hair Color
Hair Care for Women of Color For African American women and other women of color who either wear their hair natural or have a relaxer, using a colorsafe shampoo to preserve the hair color is best, says Jessie Soderstrom, owner of Salon Jess. “Look for something that is sulfate-, paraben-, or silicone-free. A lot of commercial brand products that claim to be color-safe will have many harsh ingredients that fade your color and damage the integrity of your chemical service. Also, consult with your personal stylist, because they know what color they’ve used on you and they may have specific recommendations for what brands to use,” she says. Jessie gives a few more suggestions on how to take care of relaxed and natural hair in between salon visits. • Wear a cute hat, headband, or scarf to hide your roots. • Natural, curly hair is very dry so whenever you have a lot of new growth, you have to make sure it is moisturized and detangled. There can be a lot of breakage if your hair isn’t moisturized while it is growing out because the difference in hair texture between the relaxed hair and new growth causes the hair to tangle more easily. • Over the counter relaxers contain a lot of harsh chemicals so it is best not to apply the relaxer yourself because it might be difficult for you to see where your new growth ends. If you apply the relaxer to hair that has already been relaxed, it will cause breakage. — By Tiffany White
By Krista Nenni
W
e know that hair is not the most important thing during our current health situation, but if you color your hair, we bet you have thought about your roots. With the temporary closing of salons, maintaining the health of your hair and hair color at home may be a challenge.
Here are a few tips to get you through the weeks in between appointments: •● If your hair doesn’t feel as good as it did prior to your color service, try a repairing hydration product and a light oil. The oil will seal in the hydration that you are adding to the hair, giving it a healthy shine. A great choice for a hydration cream is Olaplex no.6. It is the perfect leave-in moisturizing, repair cream that eliminates frizz, and Olaplex no.7 is a weightless styling oil with 450 degree heat protection. Both products work on all hair types. ● • Sometimes adjusting the amount of the product you put in your hair can make a world of difference. More is not always better. ● • Buy the mini travel size of a product first so you can test the product before fully investing in it. ● • If you are struggling with keeping your color vibrant, use a color shampoo. If your hair looks gold or brassy, try a purple- or blue-based shampoo. There are also shampoos for brunettes and redheads. •● To keep roots looking fresh in between appointments, use root powder or root spray to hide the new growth. Style Edit has a great root touch-up powder and spray that provide great coverage, even on gray. •● If you are on a budget, you can also place pigmented eyeshadows that match your hair color on the roots to help hide the grown-out color. Krista Nenni is a hair stylist with J Estell Salon.
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Today’s Woman / April 2020
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DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT:
ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO GRIEVE
Teens are facing the possibility of missing out on important, steppingstone events in their lives due to COVID-19.
DURING TRYING TIMES, IT HELPS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
By Kimberly M. LaFollette, PsyD.
S
pring is a time of celebration. It is the time of year when many families are preparing for proms, graduations, and parties. These are significant milestones that parents and children look forward to for years. Unfortunately, the current health epidemic has led to the cancellation or delay of many of these events, and dealing with a child’s disappointment can be a challenging task for parents. Many parents are wondering how to help their children through these disappointments while also managing their own fears regarding their health, their jobs, and the economy.
LISTEN
If your child is struggling to accept the reality of what has been taken from them, the best thing you can do is listen. While it is easy to downplay the significance of these events, it is important to allow your child the opportunity to grieve. Allow them to feel and express their emotions. Let them know that what they are feeling is normal and let them know you are there to listen. You can also share with them your own emotions regarding missing their events to let them know they are not alone in their disappointment.
LOOK TO THE FUTURE
Beyond listening, we can help our children by looking to the future. During trying times, it helps to have something to look forward to. While we cannot promise graduation ceremonies and proms, we can use this time in isolation to plan alternative events to mark these significant milestones. Use this as an opportunity to personalize your child’s celebration. Ask your child to work with you to identify an activity that would be a meaningful way to celebrate their achievements. As parents, it can be heartbreaking to see our children suffer disappointments. However, this current crisis provides an opportunity. It allows us to show our children that experiencing sadness and disappointment is a part of life. And while we can’t prevent bad things from happening, we can continue to show our love and support for one another as we plan for a more hopeful future.
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A visit to a virtual sheep farm might be something you need to see right now.
IDEAS FROM A TEACHER TO HELP YOUR DAY By Connie Meyer
M
elissa Fischer teaches at the Kentucky School for the Blind. She has two sons, Spencer, 9, and Logan, 15. Since the closing of schools for coronavirus, Melissa is maintaining a daily routine that allows her to oversee the carefully planned lessons of her regular students while being sure her own sons complete their lessons with minimal amount of disagreement. Melissa also has students who she regularly tutors after school for the ACT college entrance exams using FaceTime. Melissa is constantly searching for new ideas to keep her students engaged. She found virtual field trips online where students can learn and feel like they are on an adventure at the same time. Her son Spencer
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VIRTUAL
EXPLORATION recently went on a virtual breaks in between. The Frazier History Museum field trip to a farm in At 3pm each day her is offering a virtual tour Canada where he saw son Spencer enjoys of a different exhibit daily. how they make cheese seeing what animals The Speed Art Museum is and shear sheep. She are featured online providing a virtual look at its also discovered that the from the Cincinnati artwork with downloadable Frazier History Museum Zoo. Melissa and her educational worksheets. offers free tours of its boys go to Planet Fitness exhibits online. online every evening at 7 When asked for tips during this for a cardio workout together. challenging time, Melissa does not During their breaks each day Melissa hesitate. “Some advice I would give encourages Spencer and Logan to is to keep a consistent routine during go outside when the weather allows the school day. Create a daily schedule to shoot hoops or go for walks. She with your children and stick to it.� encourages her boys to develop their Melissa maintains a regular cooking skills by baking together or schedule every day for her students making smoothies. Whatever the and her sons. Each has their own activity may be, Melissa is not just work space where they keep regular teaching but making memories with hours for school work with scheduled her sons as well.
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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grow
MAYBE IT’S TIME TO
By Mary Ellen Bianco and staff
To create a garden is to search for a better world. In our effort to improve on nature, we are guided by a vision of paradise. Whether the result is a horticultural masterpiece or only a modest vegetable patch, it is based on the expectation of a glorious future. This hope for the future is at the heart of all gardening. — Marina Schinz
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SOMETHING
Photo by Aubrey Argabright
Today’s Woman / April 2020
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<<PAGE 24
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o matter how much or how little space you have, you can grow some things that you can eat and enjoy. Container gardening doesn’t require a lot of space or effort. “There are tons of things to grow inside or on a balcony or patio such as lettuces, onions, carrots, and microgreens,” says Mary Ann Dallenbach, owner of St. Matthews Feed & Seed. “Also herbs such as basil, chives, and cilantro, which like cool nights and warm days.”
Get Started • A Clean Pot and Potting Mix. Mary Ann Dallenbach advises starting with a good, clean pot. Aphids can be carried in from a dirty pot. “Always use potting mix, which has the ability to expand, such as ferti-lome,” she says.
• Choose the Seeds. Mary Ann uses non-genetically modified organism (GMO) seeds. The GMO process makes plants more resistant to rain, drought, pests, and diseases, but it is controversial because it’s done in a laboratory.
• Fertilize and Protect. Adequate fertilizer and controlling pests is vital. “What you do to fertilize after the plant starts growing is important,” Mary Ann says. “If you want to grow organic plants for your fruits and vegetables, then you should use organic fertilizers.” Some suggestions are Espoma indoor plant food or Monty’s Plant Food, which is locally manufactured. Pests such as aphids can appear due to over or under watering. “You can control pests, and you need to do it immediately,” Mary Ann says. She suggests mixing one part rubbing alcohol to 8-9 parts water. It can either be sprayed on the infected plant, wiped on the affected leaves with a paper towel, or dipped on a Q-tip. St. Matthews Feed and Seed is offering curbside pickup and delivery options during the virus shutdown. Alternatively, you can pick up seedlings (small plants) curbside after ordering at seedsandstarts.org. This nonprofit offers more than 50 vegetable varieties, 20 herbs, and dozens of fruit trees and bushes.
Photo by Melissa Donald
Grow SOME MICROGREENS NOW Story and photos by Melissa Donald
If you don’t have a yard or access to a garden plot, then you can still grow a mini garden inside your home. Growing microgreens inside your home doesn’t require a lot of space, are low in cost, are quick and easy to grow, and are full of nutrients. Here are some sites to visit about growing microgreens: • https://www.microveggy.com/ • https://wellnessmama.com/36688/ grow-microgreens/
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#1
I lined a wicker basket with about 2” of potting soil and planted regular seeds by sprinkling them on the top of the soil in clusters, like a small garden plot. I planted seeds of radish, arugula, beet, swiss chard, kale, basil, and cilantro, along with other greens.
April 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
#2
After planting the seeds, sprinkle dirt over the top — just enough to cover the seeds — and water the top of the soil with a spray bottle.
#3
Seedlings should start to emerge within three days, depending on the type of plants you are growing. Harvest when plants are about two inches tall (around 7-10 days from planting). Cut plants about half an inch up from the bottom of the plant, and plants will grow back for another harvest.
FOND OF LOUISVILLE:
A Springtime Treat
Story and Photos by Madeleine Dee
LEMON CAKE Serves up to 12
INGREDIENTS: • 1/2 cup sour cream • 1/2 cup whole plain yogurt • 1 cup granulated sugar, plus 1/4 cup separated • 3 large eggs, room temperature • 1 packed Tbsp. fresh lemon zest, plus 1 pinch separated • 1 tsp. vanilla • 1 tsp. salt, plus 1 pinch separated • 1/2 cup vegetable oil • 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour • 2 tsp. baking powder • 1 /4 cup fresh lemon juice, plus 1 Tbsp, and 2 Tbsp, separated out • 1 generous cup powdered sugar • PAM Baking Spray DIRECTIONS: 1. Heat oven to 350°F. Choose a cake pan — bundt, loaf with 4 compartments, 8-9 inch round, etc. I love to use a bundt pan.
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his is one of my favorite recipes. It is just as easy as using a box mix, and the results are incredibly delicious. Hooray for the perfect springtime treat!
2. Combine the sour cream, yogurt, 1 cup granulated sugar, eggs, lemon zest, vanilla, 1 tsp. salt, and oil on medium for 30 seconds, mixing well. 3. Add in the flour and baking powder, then mix on low for about 10 seconds to prevent a flour cloud. Mix on medium for 30 seconds. Add in the 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice, mix for a few seconds on low, then mix on medium for 30 more seconds. 4. Coat the inside of your cake pan with PAM Baking Spray, and scrape the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 30-40 minutes, or until the top is rounded and no longer jiggly. A toothpick inserted into the cake should come out clean, and you will see golden brown around the outside. Remove the cake from the oven as soon as it’s baked.
5. Cool in the pan for 10 minutes while you prepare a syrup. Combine 1/4 cup sugar with 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Bring to a quick boil in a small pan on the stove, swirling or whisking regularly. As soon as the mixture is clear and starts to bubble/rise, remove it from the heat and swirl it around a few times. 6. While both the cake and the syrup are still hot, use a skewer to poke holes all over the surface of the cake, then pour the syrup evenly over the top. Allow the cake to cool just as it is for 10-20 minutes, then turn it out onto a platter and let it cool completely. 7. Mix 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice with a generous cup of powdered sugar and a pinch of lemon zest. At first, it won’t seem like it’s going to come together, but keep mixing
until it becomes smooth, glossy, and fluid. Give this glaze a couple minutes to thicken, then spoon it evenly over the top of your cake. Enjoy! TIP: Make cupcakes by simply adding 1 extra tsp. baking powder (for a total of 1 Tbsp. baking powder)! Fill the cupcake liners 2/3 full and bake at 350°F for about 15 minutes, or until the tops have just rounded out and become springy to the touch. This recipe makes about 18 cupcakes. Remove from the oven immediately and allow to rest while you prepare the lemon syrup. When you’re ready, gently remove a thin layer from the rounded centers of the cupcakes with your fingers and carefully spoon about 1/2 tsp lemon syrup inside each one. Be patient. Using a dropper/ pipette is a fun way to do this step. From here, you can make and add the glaze OR try a different icing.
Madeleine Dee (AKA The Seasoned Cynic) is a chef, writer, world traveler, and filmmaker who lives in Louisville. Watch her cooking show, Easy Elegance, on YouTube. Instagram: @TheSeasonedCynic ~ Website: TheSeasonedCynic.com
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GET THE KIDS IN THE KITCHEN Story and photos by Paige Rhodes
Getting in the kitchen is not only a great way to keep your kids occupied for a while, but it's also a perfect opportunity to show them how math is used in the real world. To make things easier on yourself, try prepping most of the ingredients before calling them into the kitchen, and have them help you clean as you go. WHOLE WHEAT CHOCOLATE CHIP MINI MUFFINS Yields: 18-24 muffins Ingredients • 1½ cups white wheat flour • ⅔ cup sugar • 1½ tsp baking powder • ¼ tsp salt • 2 large mashed ripe bananas • 1 large egg • ½ cup unsalted butter, melted • ¼ cup milk • ¾ cup semisweet mini chocolate chips Instructions 1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line or spray 18 mini muffin cups. 2. Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. 3. Mix mashed bananas, egg, melted butter, and milk in a medium bowl. Stir banana mixture into dry ingredients just until blended. Stir in mini chocolate chips. 4. Divide batter among prepared muffin cups, filling each about ¾ full. Bake muffins until tops are golden and set, and tester inserted into the center comes out with just a couple crumbs, about 14-16 minutes. Transfer muffins to a rack to cool.
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ONE POT ALPHABET PASTA Serves: 4 Ingredients • 4 oz alphabet pasta (can substitute any short-cut pasta) • 1⅓ cups chicken bone broth • 1 carrot, shredded • ½ cup frozen peas • 1 Tbsp butter • 1 Tbsp heavy cream • 1 oz shredded white cheddar cheese TOASTED MARSHMALLOW S'MORES RICE CEREAL TREATS Yield: 16 Squares Ingredients • Non-stick cooking spray • 6 Tbsp butter • 1 bag (10 oz) mini marshmallows + optional ½ cup for stirring in at the end • ½ tsp vanilla • 6 cups Rice cereal • 2 cups graham squares cereal • 1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips + more for topping
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Instructions 1. I n a 9×9 inch baking pan, spray with non-stick cooking spray or line with parchment paper. Set aside. 2. I n a large non-stick pot over medium heat, melt butter, then turn off the heat. Add in marshmallows and then torch with a kitchen torch until sufficiently blackened to your liking. Return the heat to medium and stir together with butter until marshmallows have melted and become creamy. Stir in vanilla extract. 3. F old in rice cereal and graham squares until all marshmallows and cereals are evenly mixed together. Mix in 1 cup of mini chocolate chips and an additional ½ cup of mini marshmallows, if desired. Spread treats onto prepared baking pan. Press into pan and sprinkle remaining ¼ cup of chocolate chips on top of the treats and even more mini marshmallows, lightly pressing into the top of the treats to make sure they stick. Torch the top of the rice cereal treats to blacken the marshmallows. Place into the fridge for 10 minutes to cool. Cut, then serve.
April 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Instructions 1. Add pasta, bone broth, carrot, and peas to a medium-sized pot over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil. Stir frequently until the pasta is al dente, about 8-10 minutes. 2. Stir in the butter, cream, and cheese and stir until wellcombined and creamy. Add salt and pepper if desired and serve immediately. Find more recipes of Food Blogger Paige Rhodes at mymoderncookery.com.
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THREE LESSONS I LEARNED PARENTING DURING THE PANDEMIC By Tonilyn Hornung
W
hen the hospital nurse handed me my newborn, I waited for her to give me a book of instructions. Nothing happened. I was confused. I’d been given so many handouts during my pregnancy that I assumed the knowledge I’d need to parent would be given to me as well. Nope. No handy instructional booklet showed up with my complimentary diaper bag and burp cloths. Parenting did not come with a personalized how-to manual. Over the last six years, I’ve been compiling my own handbook. I’ve observed that caring for my child is composed of many elements: trusting my instincts, a deep knowledge of my kid’s personality, proven parenting techniques, and sleep deprivation. Guiding my child through the best of times can leave me at a loss for words. Parenting through social distancing, homeschooling, and the uncertainty that’s come with COVID-19 has raised those stakes as exponentially as the spread of the virus. Right now, I’m doing my best to make educated decisions and trust my mothering intuition. Here are three of the biggest lessons I’ve learned parenting through this pandemic. 1. Honest Yet Simple Answers For The Win: My son has a built-in lie detector. It could be I’m a terrible liar, but when I evade even the smallest of answers in an effort to protect my little guy, I notice he becomes fearful. His imagination fills in the story gaps and he creates a bigger, darker, scarier scenario. This nervousness manifests in different ways: random meltdowns, unpredictable separation anxiety, or plain hyperactive mood shifts. I’ve learned honest and simple answers work wonders. I’m careful to keep the answers short and age-appropriate so he receives helpful information he can understand. Telling the truth maintains my son’s trust in our relationship.
2. Keep Calm And Play On: My husband and I have become our kid’s full-time playmates. We’ve turned off the screens and dusted off great classics like charades, books under the covers with flashlights, sidewalk chalk on the porch, and even our own goofy improvised scenarios. Playing shows my kid that we care. My husband and I are completely focused on him and this boosts his confidence — a much-needed feeling inside when the world keeps shifting outside. I’ve loved every impromptu magic show and old school dance party. Our indoor playtime has been a fun stress release for the whole family. It’s a great way to stay engaged and show my son our totally fresh dance moves in the process. 3. Social Distance Keeps Our Family Close: In an effort to stop the spread of COVID-19 and keep my older family members safe, we started practicing social distancing before #stayathome was trending. This keeps us away from our closest friends and movie matinees, but it has cemented our family bond in a deeper way. Not only have we discovered new ways of spending time together, we’ve also made sure there’s plenty of space to voice our worries. I make sure I’m present for my son by doing daily check-ins and asking him how he’s feeling. This keeps his vulnerability intact throughout this stressful time. Our slowed-down downtime keeps our family’s lines of communication open and our feelings of hopelessness at bay. Maintaining our connection is helping us to go the distance while social distancing. Keeping an honest attitude while keeping up our connection is what’s bringing my family through this pandemic. We certainly have our moments of frustration, but when I check in with my son, he says he’s feeling “good!” I hope to keep my little guy safe and healthy and all of us feeling just as good.
“RIGHT NOW, I’M DOING MY BEST TO MAKE EDUCATED DECISIONS AND TRUST MY MOTHERING INTUITION.” 34
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Keep the Connection — How to Reach Out to Help Older Family and Neighbors By Carrie Vittitoe
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he COVID-19 pandemic has forced virtually everyone to adapt and adjust their daily lives, but those changes have impacted some groups of people more than others. Older adults in senior communities have had to forego visits from their adult children and grandchildren. During this time of uncertainty, it is important to stay connected in safe and responsible ways. Lisa Smith, director of social services and neighborhood engagement at ElderServe, and her colleagues are calling their clients to check on their well-being and encouraging them to stay at home and away from others. She offers a number of suggestions to help older adults who are isolated. 1. Contact your neighborhood associations, which can put you in touch with older or homebound neighbors. A quick phone call can make a difference in someone’s day. 2. If you are not in a high-risk group and know someone who works in healthcare who has older adults in their family, offer to pick up prescriptions and supplies. People employed in healthcare are stressed enough; taking some of the worry from their shoulders about their loved ones is immensely helpful. 3. Your local church can be a good way to connect to older adults and find out if they need errands run or yard work done. 4. Do something nice for a neighbor, such as bringing their mail up to their front porch or taping a short note to their front door. Some local residents have been trying unique ways to keep in touch without being physically present with their older loved ones. “We took our nephew to get some flowers, and he dropped them off to his grandma and great aunt. Just wanted to make them smile while they are staying away from others.” — Kate Stiglitz “My mom is in assisted living so we can’t go in, but I talk to her by text and FaceTime during the day. I pick up her shopping list, along with another lady’s list in the facility. I buy the items and return them to the front lobby. My brother and I stand outside her window and talk to her by phone. We fill four bird feeders so she can watch the birds.” — Phyllis Moss If the rain ever stops, we’re going to go over and play some badminton in the green space outside (mom’s) window.” — Elaine Jack
“I have been encouraging my mom to open her blinds and let the sunshine in and do daily exercises (walking video).” — Stephanie Richardson 36
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28 THINGS (Why 28? Because we are 28 years old!)
Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month By Anita Oldham
Photo by Melissa Donald
Need Your Own Space?
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2-3 Boost Your Immunity If you have to go out in public it is important to give yourself an extra barrier of protection, according to Sarah Teeple, owner of Teeple Holistic. Try an effective therapy of oiling your nasal passages (nasya). This technique coats and protects your nasal tissues and acts as a barrier to catch viruses in the nose. You can buy nasya oil online from Banyan Botanicals or make your own by mixing one tablespoon of a carrier oil (coconut oil, sesame, jojoba, sweet almond, or avocado oil), with one drop of eucalyptus or tea tree essential oil. To use: Dip your pointer-fingers into the oil and swirl fingers together to evenly coat the fingertips. Next, gently slide one finger into each nostril, massaging the oil into the nasal skin. It is easy and works as a quick immune booster. Wash your hands well again afterwards, and store leftover oil, covered at room temp for up to a week. Use every morning or before you go out into the public.
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FIND INFORMATION • Kycovid19.ky.gov
At a time when people are coping with being inside, perhaps sharing smaller spaces, we checked in with Sarah Dutton, who for the past 25 years, has traveled with her husband, Bill Stewart, in their 1965 Airstream camper. “Not only do we live in a 7x11 space, but we have two small dogs so you move when no one else is moving or when the other person goes away so we can’t crowd the space.” Sarah says this type of lifestyle allows both of them to recognize each other’s space, rights, feelings and needs. “Much like the coronavirus, it teaches us to be resilient; to reach down deep into our reservoirs and find depth in our being.”
—4— “It’s so important for folks to have access to accurate, up-to-date information. Those who spread misinformation are harming all of us.” — CASSIE CHAMBERS, LAWYER, KAPLAN JOHNSON ABATE & BIRD
• coronavirus.in.gov • COVID-19 Hotline: 800.722.5725 •M etro Public Health & Wellness: louisvilleky.gov/news/ what-you-need-know-about-coronavirus •C enters for Disease Control: cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019ncov/index.html
You can find “Sarah Teeple nasya” on YouTube for a quick video.
A Prayer
6. We asked Bob Mueller, a longtime Hosparus Health employee, former priest, and contributor to our magazines, to suggest a prayer for our world in crisis.
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Loving God, we hold in your healing presence those who suffer pain and ill health, especially from COVID-19, and for their families and those who care for them. May your wisdom guide nurses, doctors and those who work in every part of our health and emergency services and across the world. Give us strength to bear our weakness, healing even when there is no cure, peace in the midst of turmoil and love to fill the spaces in our lives.
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KARLA JARVIS
SARAH TEEPLE
BETH HALL
SARAH STRITE
MANDEE MCKELVEY
NATALIA BISHOP
CASSIE CHAMBERS
28 THINGS
WORDS OF WISDOM DURING THIS CRISIS
7. “Everything is upside down, and with the kiddos running around all day, we've had to implement some scheduled times for my husband and I to be able to complete our work and not feel as though we are neglecting them. Both of my companies have gone to full remote work, and we are having to completely pivot our business models so it's an incredibly stressful time. Doing a daily walk has been very helpful for us. Also, we are not putting a tremendous amount of pressure on each other as a couple right now, trying to be mindful of the friction coming up from sharing a workspace, etc. NATALIA BISHOP, FOUNDER OF STORY LOUISVILLE AND CHIEF OF HAPPINESS AT LEVEL UP
8. My husband and I both work, and it's been challenging for us to continue working from home with our son's daycare shut down. We've ended up doing a lot of trading off (he'll take a two-hour shift, then I'll take a two-hour shift). Our son is just learning to crawl, and he's at that age that if you turn your back for a second he's on the other side of the room (and probably about to pull the dog's tail!).
9. I’m a standup comedian, which as you know is completely canceled right now, and I’m getting weirder by the day. I miss performing and yelling my opinions at people so much. However, my day job, which is director of adjunctive therapy at a hospital in Louisville, has ramped up to a level 10, and I’m experiencing two different sides of this health crisis. One is having my line of work completely disappear and losing income, and the other is high stress, being in the thick of it, exposure to lots of illness, trying to stay healthy to keep working. Advice: This is something that gives me a lot of comfort, especially working at a hospital, but I don’t know if it’ll comfort others. Don’t live like you’re trying not to catch the virus. It’ll drive you up a wall. Instead, live like you already have the virus and you don’t want to give it to anyone. For some reason that thought slows me down, helps me make smarter choices, and gives me a sense of control and a feeling of responsibility about my role in all of this. MANDEE MCKELVEY, COMEDIAN
CASSIE CHAMBERS, LAWYER, KAPLAN JOHNSON ABATE & BIRD
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10. I work in the restaurant industry and was laid off with a good percent of Louisville, and the faster we can get this under control, the faster we can all, hopefully, go back to work. Besides being stressed about the unknown time of us all being out of work, worrying about bills and whatnot, I’ve been making a point to stay up on chores by doing a few a day, baking bread, and trying some Korean recipes I haven’t had time for until now. Advice: Be mindful of the people who are still providing services, and support local businesses during this time. If you are in the service industry, the LEE Initiative has been an outstanding resource when it comes to helping out industry workers with food and supplies. Don’t be afraid to reach out during this time because we all need help. SARAH STRITE, SOUS CHEF, SOU!
11. The anxiety when you are always on the go and now you cannot — it is a huge urge to leave and just go. Staying put is the hardest thing. We have been going through old home movies and pictures. This helps us laugh, remember, and makes the time go fast. BETH HALL, OWNER, ACTORS CENTER FOR TRAINING
12. I'm a holistic wellness counselor and have been meeting with my clients over Zoom and FaceTime instead of in-person at the office. It is so valuable to stay connected when we are feeling isolated and to continue to focus on our health during this time of crisis. This extra time at home is a great opportunity for self-care. Drink warm, non-caffeinated herbal teas, diffuse relaxing essential oils like lavender, frankincense, or cedar, and listen to soothing music like jazz by Charlie Hayden, or life-affirming like Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life. I have been dancing in the kitchen with my 10-month-old daughter, and those are our current go-tos. SARAH TEEPLE, OWNER, TEEPLE HOLISTIC
13. My parents are both over 60, and I am afraid of giving them the virus. I know I need to stay away from them to prevent me from giving them the virus. I love to hug them both, but right now I can’t and that is so sad to me. I encourage everyone to watch out for the elderly — call the ones you know and wave to the ones in your neighborhood to make someone’s day. Isolation is not good for anyone. KARLA JARVIS, CEO, JARVIS FAMILY MEDICAL CENTER
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28 THINGS
15-19 A FEW GOOD MOVIES By Vanessa Hutchison
Think you’ve seen everything worth watching? Give these excellent movies a try. Feel Good Movie: Justine
A single mom who’s down on her luck takes a job caring for Justine, a girl with spina bifida. The friendship that develops between the two of them helps them both grow and change in unexpected ways. This movie is sure to tug at your heartstrings and fill you with warm, fuzzy thoughts and hope for life after quarantine.
Photos by Melissa Donald
Horror Thriller to Keep You Up at Night: The Platform If you enjoy esoteric horror like Us or Midsommar, this Spanish film uses a unique prison as a not-so-subtle metaphor for capitalist society, and the results are just as horrifying as you might imagine. Watch this one with the lights on to maintain your own sanity.
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Edge of Your Seat Mystery: Lost Girls
Creative Story Time Grandmother (Shirley) and her grandson (Wesley) visit Shirley’s 96-year-old father-in-law Chester at Symphony at Valley Farms. Wesley made a storybook for his great-grandfather, but because as a precaution the book would have to be kept out of Chester’s hands for 48 hours, Shirley and Wesley decided to show it to him through the window instead.
“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book!” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Being social right now might be challenging, but at least you can read a good book. These local book clubs share their top picks. My Antonia by Willa Cather
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
Carmichael’s Community Book Club
Novel Women Book Club
The Bookies
Night Road by Kristin Hannah
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
The Brown Bag and a Book Club
Louisville Divas Book Club
A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles The Metro Book Club
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Documentary To Make You Think: There’s Something in the Water
The New Directions Book Club
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler GET BOOKS ONLINE
27. The Louisville Free Public Library allows you to download books online! Follow the steps at lfpl.org/ eBooks.html to get your next story. Happy reading!
April 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
Tear-Filled Bromance: Paddleton
Ray Romano and Mark Duplass star in this tearjerker drama about two men who develop an unlikely bromance when the younger one receives a terminal cancer diagnosis. Romano and Duplass are both known for their comedic performances, but this movie will make you cry. Be sure to watch with a box of tissues or one of your 8,000 rolls of toilet paper.
20-26 WHEN IT’S TIME TO READ
Irrepressible: The Jazz Age Life of Henrietta Bingham by Emily Bingham
Young women keep disappearing, and no one seems to care. Based on a true story, Lost Girls will make you angry about all of society’s little inequities while also making sure you’re glued to the screen until the very end as this exciting mystery unfolds before your eyes.
28. Read our Today’s Transitions spring issue online at TodaysTransitionsNow.com
If you’re looking for something more serious, this documentary wants to inspire you to fight for change. While filmmaker Ellen Page takes a close look at her native Nova Scotia in this documentary, the issues raised, including environmental racism and inequality, can be understood by people everywhere in the world. Check out the The Speed Art Museum’s Cinema for some new streaming options. speedmuseum.org/cinema (Or, read their recommendations, take a tour, or do an art project.)
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DATING FROM AFAR By Taylor Riley
IS THIS STILL A DATE? During COVID-19, dating couples of all timelines and distances are either quarantining together or separately; right now, it’s complicated. TOGETHER FOREVER Kayla Robertson, a physician’s assistant working long hours at a hospital in Louisville, is in a new relationship with boyfriend John Williams — they’ve been dating just five, blissful months. “In hindsight, maybe he should’ve gone home and isolated himself from me,” Kayla says about the couple’s decision to quarantine together. “But it wasn’t something I thought about until we were in the middle of it.” LONG-DISTANCE LOVE Sarah Smith, a regional director and native of Louisville living in Houston, Texas, is in a two-and-a-half-year long-term and longdistance relationship with her boyfriend who is a business consultant out of Europe. The couple communicates, despite the seven-hour time difference, through text, phone calls, and FaceTime. “A lot of people joke about the struggle of now working from home with their significant other and how it’s tough, but they’re lucky they at least get to spend this time with them,” Sarah says. “We’re not sure when we will see each other next given the travel restrictions and trying to do our part to socially distance ourselves.” SINGLES, REJOICE! If you’re alone during the pandemic, have no fear; this just may be your time. Founder and CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd encourages the Bumble community to take all its dates virtual. The app has a feature to video chat and voice call to get to know new people from the comfort of your home. “We want to help you stay connected, even when physically apart,” Whitney says in a letter. Coffee Meets Bagel, another online dating app, says 78 percent of users are putting a pause on in-person dates. The site has provided rolling chat extensions instead of its normal seven-day chat expiration date and suggests community and individual virtual dates. “So even though we might all have to spend some time physically apart, we’ve been inspired by the creative ways people continue to virtually connect,” says the app’s CEO and Cofounder Dawoon Kang.
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The Ultimate Bad Timing By Fern McFarland
A
fter almost two decades, I took the plunge and decided to dissolve my marriage. Divorce papers filed, rental home secured, ready to go. Here I was, midlife, ready to embark on a new horizon of joy and passion and independence. I was finally, as my therapist likes to remind me, going to get my needs met.
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So in March, on Friday the 13th, I moved out of my family’s house into a posh little rental on a very trendy street, ready to begin my newfound single life. And then I received word that my colleagues and I were to work from home indefinitely in an effort to stave off an inevitable pandemic. For the past year, my job was the one consistent, joyous routine in my life. Not to worry (I told myself), this will give me more free time to find myself, right? However, the only thing I found myself with was a pack of cheese sticks and White Claw in my new refrigerator and a ton of alone time on my hands. Turns out stocking a new home during a pandemic is pretty tricky. The grocery looked apocalyptic — it took me three tries to find rice, beans, pasta, and eggs. Again, I told myself not to worry. I can still walk up to the plethora of restaurants on my new street and find refuge in my gym and yoga studio…then they closed too. No food. No gym. No therapist. No bars, restaurants, or social gatherings. Hmmmm, perfect timing to “get myself out there.” So here I am: healthy, single, jobless, and eager for adventure. A walking Thelma & Louise in a time of mandated social distancing. Is this some cruel joke the universe is playing on me? My resiliency and sense of humor are seriously being tested. Hell, I know everyone is being tested right now. But you have to admit that divorce in a time of quarantine is extra ironic. I would cry about it, but I’m rationing my toilet paper.
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A Ref reshing
Spring Drink
Raspberry Bourbon Lemonade • 8 fresh raspberries or substitute frozen • 1/2 c lemonade • 1 1/2 oz bourbon
Photo by Melissa Donald Drink Styling by Jill Cobb and Jillian Jones
• seltzer water
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