IS THIS THE BEST OF TIMES? By Bob Mueller Reflect on the worst of times and see how they changed you.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...”
W
hen I read Charles Dickens’ words, I think he was describing not only my life, but all lives. Take some time to reflect on the trials and tribulations in your past life and how those times contribute to the fullness and richness of your current life. As upsetting as these situations may have been, ask yourself if they were not in some way essential in making your life more authentic, vibrant, meaningful, and joyful. I have come to understand that each of us has not only a physical immune system, but also a powerful psychological immunity. This remarkable system is at the foundation of our innate thriving response, defined as total joyful immersion in the simplest aspects of our daily living. We can awaken to that inborn response, and those who have found it through their times of misery can help lead the way. Only those who have learned to thrive through crises, or learned from others who have, can fully understand what it means to flourish and deeply ONLY THOSE savor every moment of their WHO HAVE LEARNED lives. You have untapped, TO THRIVE THROUGH innate evolutionary CRISES . . . CAN FULLY strengths, made not only UNDERSTAND WHAT IT to carry you through any MEANS TO FLOURISH trauma but also to help AND DEEPLY SAVOR you become stronger and EVERY MOMENT OF elevated by it. Because of THEIR LIVES. Laughing Through the Pain your natural thrive-ability, there is nothing that can happen I visited a young woman suffering from pancreatic cancer. I always knew to you that has to prevent you from when I was close to her hospital room because of her unique and contagious experiencing a deeply meaningful and giggle. When she passed, it seemed as if someone had unplugged a wonderful music profoundly more joyful life. that resonated through the hospital walls. She had told me that every morning was If life has handed you a dirty deal, it may a cause for celebration for those like her facing death. also have handed you a new lease on life in This amazing woman had watched hours of videotapes of comedians that her the form of new goals, new meanings, and husband had made for her, and everyone would say how they could hear her an authentic feeling of being alive that laughing most of the day or late into the night. “Those are my painkillers,” she said. you have not yet experienced. You may be “When I laugh, my pain is much less. You know what people say when they are ready to learn that your regrets about your laughing really hard, ‘Stop it. You’re killing me’? Well, for me, it’s the reverse. If I stop past and worries about your future have laughing, it will kill me. The pain is much worse when I’m not laughing.” Research in caused you to lose sight of the present positive psychology clearly shows that a hardy laugh does have pain-reducing and where happiness grows. You may be ready immune-enhancing capacities. to learn what the new positive psychology Her husband said, “She kept laughing up to the end. She really did die laughing. Just is discovering: we all have the capacity not thinking about that goofy laugh of hers makes me smile again. I wish we had a tape only to survive and recover from crises, of it to play to remind us of how it lightened the hearts that always seem so heavy.” but to thrive and flourish more than ever. Bob Mueller (bobmueller.org) is the mission & stewardship officer at Hosparus Health.
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April 2020 / TodaysWomanNow.com
