The Sentinella Axarquia August 2020 Edition

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 191

www.thesentinella.com

August 20

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m Fro Ed... the Welcome to the August edition of The Sentinella. I hope you all enjoyed our first edition back on the streets and I hope that everyone has stayed as safe as they can during this past month. Our latest ‘must-do’ is to wear a face-covering pretty much 24/7 when we leave the house, so let’s just hope that this will not continue into 2021 — also that we can get back to a “normal” life before then as this ‘New Norm’ is not a ‘Fun Norm’ for anybody, and the longer it’s in force, sadly the more stressful life will be for all of us.

There appears to be split opinions out there at the moment about wearing masks, with what seems to be 50% welcoming them and 50% opposing them, I along with a lot of people I expect, find it really hard to wear a mask for more than 10 minutes without it itching my nose, or becoming too hard to breathe through — especially in this heat — and I fear that this is stopping a high percentage of people from going about their usual daily routines. My suggestion is where possible, try and get to your location in the car, park as close as possible, do what you need to get done as quickly as you can — unless of course you are in a bar or a restaurant and then enjoy the moment mask-free whilst enjoying your drink or food :) It really is something I think we have to adhere to in the meantime, though. The science seems to say that although it might not prevent you from catching Covid-D, by wearing a mask you vastly reduce the chances of passing it on if you DO have it — think how many people have tested positive without having shown any direct symptoms!

Also, spare a thought for all those whose livelihoods that have been — and continue to be — affected by the pandemic. The sooner we can stop its spread, the better for everyone!

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Editor: Kami Knight sales@thesentinella.com Sales: 664 210 468 / 664 689 138 www.thesentinella.com

Sentinella Axarquia Edition

Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004)

I live in the lovely Torre del Mar, a part of Spain that during the past 10 years has become the place to be for all different types

www.thesentinella.com

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Strange News of people, ranging from the young to the old, English to Polish etc. East Malaga has become the “trendy” part of the coast, with new businesses going up weekly — especially in the rapidly filling-up ‘El Copo’ section. This is now the “in” place to be, having numerous restaurants and bars — including karaoke — a dance studio, a beauty salon, a Belgian waffle bar, a Uruguayan and an Irish bar. There is traditional Spanish cuisine, and also Japanese etc; it really has become a busy area. However, this stretch of road recently has become a little racetrack for cars and motos, which are zooming along without a care in the world for the pedestrians. The other week, I almost had my toes run over by a car that was overtaking TWO cars that were racing — if I had have been a child, I fear I would not be here now!

The motos are particularly noisy as they screech up and down, but the main issue is the speed of the vehicles along this stretch of road as there appears to be a lack of pedestrian crossings too. One business owner, Debbie Ritchie from The Irish Rover, is trying to get as many signatures as she can to see if the Ayuntamiento will look into adding speed humps along this part of the coast road to slow the cars and motos down, thus reducing the noise and pollution as well as potentially saving lives. If you would like to add your signature to help this issue, please pop in to see Debbie, although please note she is closed during the month of August.

Have a great summer everyone.

Kami Knight x

The Editor (of the original little mag)!

The Sentinella

DEADLINE FOR SEPTEMBER SUNDAY 20TH AUGUST Reservations: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

Blown away A man in Vienna has been fined nearly £500 for farting provocatively in front of police officers.

Austrian police were forced to defend the penalty after the Österreich newspaper revealed the man had been punished for ‘offending public decency’ last month.

Officers argued that the offender was “unco-operative” and behaving “provocatively” with officers leading up to the incident. They wrote on Twitter that the man had been sitting on a park bench before getting up, looking at them and letting go a “massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent.”

“Of course no one is reported for accidentally letting one go,” they added. The man can appeal the €500 (£447) fine.

Bucket list A traveller says he was left ‘humiliated’ after KFC refused to serve him at a drive-through when he pulled up on a horse-drawn cart.

Ian Bell, 55, made it as far as the kiosk window in Carlisle, Cumbria, only for a manager to come out and say he would have to leave for the health and safety of other customers.

Said Ian: My horse, Jon Jon, is good as gold, and anyway, horses and carts were around long before motor cars.

“I had queued up behind some cars and was about to order a Bargain Bucket when all of a sudden this manager came out and said I wasn’t allowed through. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Jon Jon was behaving himself, he was quiet as a lamb. In the end I had to go to McDonald’s for a Big Mac. No one there batted an eyelid — they just served me my food.”

A KFC spokesman said: “We’re sorry for Ian and Jon Jon’s experience — but the safety of our guests is really important, so we can’t allow horse-drawn vehicles in our drive-thrus.”

Ian said he hasn’t tried taking the horse and cart through any other drive-throughs, but added that he is keen to see if Burger King will let him in.

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Strange News (Continued) Nessie lives?

A photograph of Loch Ness has got people excited that it could show the elusive Nessie.

It shows the back of a creature in the water, with the image too far away to tell if it is scaly or otherwise.

Steve Challice, of Southampton, took the picture last September but only recently posted it on Facebook. He asked for help identifying the creature, saying: “I started taking a couple of shots and then this massive fish came to the surface and then went back down again.”

According to the Inverness Courier, he thought it was a catfish at first and estimated that it was 30ft away and about 8ft long. But others responding said they were convinced it was Nessie swimming near to Urquhart Castle.

Mr Challice added: “It only appeared in one shot and to be honest, that was something of a fluke. I watched for a while, but didn’t see it again.”

Tooth fairy …

A newsreader whose front tooth fell out during a live broadcast managed to keep her cool and carry on with the report as if nothing had happened.

Marichka Padalko was providing an update on the Coronavirus crisis on Ukrainian TV when she felt the tooth come loose.

Rather than panic as many of us would, Marichka simply put her hand in front of her mouth to catch the tooth and carried on without a pause.

Although many were completely unaware that her front tooth was missing, the subtle moment was spotted by some viewers who posted about it on social media.

The presenter saw the messages and replied to one to confirm: "Yes, I really lost part of my front tooth today during the live TSN broadcast at 9am.

"This is probably my most curious experience in 20 years as a presenter — I had hoped it would go unnoticed.”

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Marriage Some speculations on tying the knot At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted�. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say – Talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Menu del Dia - 6.95€ (Vegetarian 6.50€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm - 3 courses (including vegetarian) Help yourself Buffet - Sundays Adults - 10.50€ Children under 10 - 5€ / 1pm - 4pm

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Choice of starter, Choice of curry, Rice or Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 631 34 21 93

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Opening Hours Wednesday - Monday 1pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito Antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

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Girlie Wisdom Us girls stick together‌and sometimes I think that is for the best!

Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5lbs.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

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Free initial consultation Professional, friendly experts and ALL in English Unfairly fined during the state of alarm?

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What’s New This Month This month we welcome these new businesses to The Sentinella Magazine In Torre del Mar a new British bar has opened its doors, Bar Samba which is located in front of the new library, Calle Duque de Ahumada, 3. Owner, Sam and her Chef Nicky will be serving all your typical English homemade food with some Spanish in there also, from traditional Fish and Chips and Sunday lunches to Prawn Pil Pil. They will be serving food from 09.30am - 8.30pm Wednesday to Sunday. They will also be holding a quiz night every Thursday evening, however bookings are advisable. So pop along they are waiting to meet you all. See main advert on page 8 Do you love to sing?

Do you love to listen to people singing?

At Song & Beach in El Copo, Torre del Mar you can sing every night of the week Tuesday - Sunday until your heart’s content in this fabulous Karaoke Bar. Song & Beach is a livey bar which gets filled with people of all ages and nationalities and they all have one thing in common, they love a good old sing song. Owners Estefania and Oscar opened Song & Beach just over a year ago and it has been a great success. The bar is completely sound proofed so if you sing badly, don’t worry only those inside can hear you! Maybe you just fancy a late drink with some good entertainment, this is the late bar to be in!

Open from 6pm to 3am. See main advert on page 10 It’s great news that we have so many new businesses popping up at the moment. In Alcaucin, Los Naranjos is a new Bar/Restaurant which has opened, situated in Calle de la Fuente. You will find it under the Bank and next to the Post Office. Pop along from as early as 8am for a nice relaxing breakfast on their fabulously large terrace with the most breathtaking views.

Owners Manolo and his partner Hilde speak English so there are no issues there. They are open every day and offer a menu del dia for just 8€, plus they have a BBQ and daily specials too. It’s a great place to relax and unwind at the weekends, every Friday is Flamenco, every Saturday afternoon at noon they have their delicious Paella and on Saturday’s they also offer some live music, all held on the spectacular terrace, it really is worth a visit just to see the terrace and views!

See main advert on page 22 Have you ever thought you might like some quality bespoke wood furniture but not quite sure where to turn? Turn to page 56 where you will find Wes Wood Work. Wes has always enjoyed making peoples dream furniture and is available to make it for you too! Wes can make tables, benches, kitchen doors and work surfaces in any size or colour, and really anything the clients want! Have a look at their Facebook and Website pages for some of the work they have prepared for their happy clients. www.weswoodwork.com www.facebook.com/woodworkwes If you have a sweet tooth head along to Sweet Belgica, El Copo, Torre del Mar. Newly opened and right next door to Karaoke bar, Song & Beach. Sweet Belgica is run by Sharon and her Mother Helene where they make on-site homemade Belguim waffles, traditional waffles, pancakes and bunuelos.

They also serve ice cream and a variety of toppings including Belguim chocolate sauce, fruit and Nutella. It’s a sweet heaven! They also offer a range of alcoholic and soft drinks and have Stella Artois on tap. Currently due to COVID 19 customers can only use the terrace but eventually will be able to make use of the cocktail bar upstairs with wonderful views. Open Monday to Thursday 6pm to close and weekends 5pm to close.

See main advert on page 55

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es l d i r t n Wor u o C he Of T an

is list Z b A Ara rld wo in the e h te dt un nt sta o r ur nde ... in odepe orld 7 w 3 1 in er dest b l m Nu the o

Om

Population - 2.9 million Language - arabic Located - Western asia Capital - Muscat Currency - Rial Religion - Islam Main Exports - Petroleum Literacy Rate - 96% Life Expectancy - 74 years G.D.P. Per Capita - 15,668.37 uSD Total Area - 309,500 sq km National Sport - Football Interesting Facts... Oman is one of the oldest human-inhabited places on the planet.

It is estimated that humans have been living

in the country for at least 106,000 years.

The al Said family is the longest-ruling royal family in the whole of arabia whose reign has been continuous over the past three centuries (since 1744 to be precise).

Oman was once colonised by the Portuguese. When the Portuguese entered the Indian Ocean trade they coveted the port of Muscat and took over the Omanis for almost 150 years until local tribesman drove them out in 1650.

Omanis enjoy a dry desert climate with hot and dry weather throughout most of the country, with more humid weather along the coastline. The far south experiences a summer monsoon from May to September.

In order to buy alcohol, Omanis need to get a permit. Oman does not prohibit alcohol, but you must buy a permit that allows you to spend up to 10% of your income on alcohol.

Oman is one of the few countries in the world where Frankincense trees grow and used to be one of the richest countries in the world, with much of the country’s wealth stemming from the incense trade.

Mobile: +34 618 963 609 Email: info@detropen.es Web: www.detropen.es Autovia del Mediterráneo A7, exit 272, Vélez-Málaga Open Monday to Saturday 9am to 8pm

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HARTMAN® SOLAR LINE R.400 PARASOL NATURAL €199.95 €149.95

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Zensible Your monthly moment of zen...

feet! (African proverb)

1. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes!

9. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of loan repayments!

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre!

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So, if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it!

4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any!

5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted!

6. No one is listening, until you fart!

7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else!

8. Never test the depth of the water with both

10. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!

12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything!

Los Naranjos

Bar Restaurant Alcaucín

Breakfasts, Menus, Specials, BBQs....

M e nu de l dia 8 € Ev e r y Fr ida y - Fla m e nc o Ev e r y Sa t ur da y a t noon - Pa e lla Ev e r y Sa t ur da y - Liv e M us ic Spe c t a c ula r Te r r a c e wit h wonde r f ul v ie ws ! !

Open 8am - 4am every day Calle de la Fuente, Alcaucín (under bank next to post office)

Tel: 951 041 535 Mob: 619 390 146 608 553 075 We speak English

Plumbing and Tiling Axarquia

Slightly less able to climb in and out the bath?

Why not remove the bath and install a luxury shower?

Folding shower seats - Anti-slip trays - Walk-in showers

30 years of 1st Class Installations Call / Whats-app / Text Chris on: 674 617 379 E-Mail: plumbingandtilingaxarquia@gmail.com

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The Magic Bank Account The Author of this is not known. It was found in the wallet of football coach Paul Bear Bryant, Alabama, after he died in 1982

3. What we haven't used up that day is forever lost.

Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest:

5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...

Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 In your private account for your use...

However, this prize has Rules: 1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!"

It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right? Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?

Actually, This GAME is REAL... Shocked???

YES! Each of us is already a winner of this *PRIZE*. We just can't seem to see it.

The PRIZE is *TIME* 1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.

2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is not credited to us.

4. Yesterday is forever gone.

So, what will you do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars. Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Start spending....

"Don’t complain about growing old, some people don’t get the privilege!”

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Linea Directa TRAVEL ASSISTANCE HOME START Sometimes your car won’t start. Maybe it’s a battery, a cold engine or a more complex electrical failure such as a faulty alternator.

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SECOND Time Around

Second Time around - First class OFFERS Receiving now and selling your unwanted items on your behalf Selling Marie’s Charity Face Masks with ALL proceeds going to Vélez-Málaga Hospital (who saved her life) So proud of her and her wonderful masks!

We now have the HATRICK! Neck Coolers, Cooling Gel Masks and now selling Magicool Body Cooler LOBSTER The only English Speaking (contract free) Mobile Company.

Unlimited calls to USA also to and from Europe.

After a year our 30 day free offer has finished.

We now have the FOLLOWING OFFER:- We have more GB on offer. Small package 12€-6GB Medium package 18€-15GB and large 24€-30GB - See below And remember, recommend a friend and receive €5 cash!

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Turn right at Cruz de Periana, (opposite PepeCar Mechanic) Puente don Manuel Tel: 659 375 603 Linda Joan Edwards Monday - Saturday 9am – 2pm

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29

Bar Samba - New English Bar Opened In Torre Del Mar Bar Samba is a newly opened English run bar/cafe in Torre del Mar, located in Calle Duque de Ahumada 3, which is located in the Thursday market street and is pretty much directly opposite the new library Bar Samba opened on the 1st July and owner Sam has lived in Spain for over five years and has teamed up with Nicky (her Chef) as many of you will know as the ex-owner of Bar Atila in Puente don Manuel and will also know that Nicky was renowned for her famously delicious meals of traditional fish and chips and Sunday lunches amongst many more popular dishes of which she will now be cooking here.

Sunday, English breakfasts, fish and chips, using top quality Icelandic Cod in home-made beer batter and Sunday lunches but they also serve lunches, snacks and a fantastic range of tapas all available until 8.30pm. The bar has free WIFI, offers a takeway service and evey Saturday there is Happy Hour from 4pm - 6pm!

Bar Samba also hold a quiz night every Thursday evening where bookings are advisable.

The ‘Samba’ team are waiting to welcome you!

See main advert on page 8

Bar Samba is a friendly, family place to be, it has a large, bright bar and has seating inside and out, for up to sixty people, which is lucky, as just days after opening they are making up to fifty meals some days!

Not only do they have available during their working hours from 09.30am Wednesday to

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Tel: +34 610 613 149 / +34 659 652 791 or +44 7525 824675 Email: sheilat5@hotmail.co.uk

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31

Faceless

Ref: VIN 004 Property of the month Price: Make an offer VIÑUELA: “Mi Casa” is a charming house from 2005 with a built surface of approximately 153m2, spread over 2 floors, surrounded by a very nice, low maintenance garden. The rest of the plot consists mainly of olive trees. The hall takes you to a very spacious lounge, a neat dining room with French Doors, fully equipped kitchen, bathroom with walk-in shower and a double bedroom. On the first floor there are 2 more bedrooms, each with a small balcony and a bathroom. The master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom. A very cozy garden surrounds the house with numerous seating areas on different levels, pergola, BBQ zone, ... inviting you for a glass of good Spanish wine.

Check our website for more details and make an offer!!!

Selling your property? Contact us: hello@country-life-properties.com

Mario Blancke

VetiverSpain

Vetiver grass has many applications, but its most common use is for solving erosion problems due to its 2-4 metre deep root system.

Vetiver planted near other crops increaes their yield and saves water all year round as the roots store water while improving soil quality Vetiver is indigenous to India and loves the heat of the summer. It can be planted all year round.

View our website for many applications and to see more examples of dated photos showing the results of planting at different times of the year.

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Are These Offensive?

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

20 kgs?

Nah! Simply funny.....

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes.

Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

Healthy Food with Art Gallery

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

Friday & Saturday Live Music from 7.30pm ................................................

August’s Art Exhibition Call for more info ................................................

Non-stop kitchen until 11.30pm For the beach!

You must try our draught beer from our very own Bodega

Open 9am - 11.30pm Closed Tuesdays Paseo Maritimo, El Morche, Torrox

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35

Currencies Direct News Pound struggles as coronavirus and Brexit concerns continue Staying up to date with the latest currency news can help you time your transfers effectively, so find out what you should be looking out for in the month ahead…

Latest currency news The pound euro exchange rate has drifted from €1.11 to €1.10, while the GBP/USD exchange rate is unchanged at $1.25.

EUR/GBP is up from £0.89 to £0.90, and EUR/USD has pushed up from $1.12 to $1.14.

What’s been happening?

After stumbling to a three-week low at the end of June, we’ve seen the pound mount a tentative recovery through the first half of July.

This has been largely spurred by a more positive market mood as well as Rishi Sunak’s unveiling of a new £30bn stimulus package aimed at protecting jobs.

However, this upside in Sterling has also been tempered by renewed Brexit uncertainty as July’s intensified talks have so far failed to deliver any progress towards a trade deal.

The euro, meanwhile has enjoyed significant support over the past month, even climbing to a new one-year high against the US dollar.

The single currency’s gains have largely come on the back of some positive economic data, which has helped to buoy hopes for a relatively speedy recovery in the Eurozone.

What do you need to look out for?

The pound may struggle to extend its recovery through the next month, so long as the Brexit deadlock continues.

Any upside in euro through the second half of July is likely dependant on the result of an upcoming summit of EU leaders and whether they manage to pass the coronavirus recovery fund, the failure to do so likely to leave the single currency on the back foot against its peers.

At Currencies Direct we’re here to talk currency whenever you need us, so get in touch if you want to know more about the latest news or how it could impact your currency transfers.

Since 1996 we’ve helped more than 325,000 customers with their currency transfers, just pop into your local Currencies Direct branch or give us a call to find out more.

See main advert below

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in n s o i e ct ness e l e S busi SHOP LOCAL - SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL COMMUNITY of

Torrox Costa

S

C

i

A

Rebeccah Curtis Wellbeing Centre Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox

w

Costa. Open Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm. Tel: 952 53 01 22 & 651 956 284

T

Raza Hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more info call: 952 52 5417, 646 75 24 63, or email: info@razahotel.com or visit www.razahotel.com

C For more information call us on: Paco & Antonia 952 535 417 :: 646 75 24 63 Or email us at: info@razahotel.com Or visit our website at: www.razahotel.com

BEAUTY AND WELLNESS CENTRE & HAIRDRESSING Open Tues - Sat 10am - 6pm Tel: 952 530 122 / 651 956 284 Rebeccah Curtis Beauty and Wellness Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Comercial B, o N .16 TORROX COSTA

Specialists in medicinal CBD • AUTO FLOWERING SEEDS • CULTIVATION KITS • THE BEST FERTILIZERS AND SUBSTRATES • SPECIALISTS IN LEC, LED AND SODIUM LIGHTING • ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES MODS, POD, E-LIQUIDS • CLOTHES AND ACCESSORIES • AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Tel: +34 952 531 371 - info@sativagrowshop.com Ctra. de Torrox 29, Edf. Conejito, Torrox Costa

a

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37

Sativa Grow Shop in Torrox Costa. Ctra. de Torrox, 29, Edif, Conejito. Specialists in medicinal CBD, plus auto flowering seeds, fertilizers, cultivation kits etc.. Call: 952 531 37. Email: info@sativagrowshop.com

A great Nepali and Indian Restaurant in Torrox Costa, Buddha House. A modern restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specials. Closed Monday lunch. Ctra. El Penoncillo 11, Torrox Costa. See FB page Buddha479

Full Air Conditioning

Modern Nepali & Indian restaurant with classic dishes and Buddha House specialities Ctra El Peñoncillo 11, Torrox Costa (Easy Parking in front) Torrox Costa Open 12:00 - 15:30 and 18:30 - 23:30 (Closed lunchtimes Mondays) 10% discount on takeaways Tel: 952 53 09 21 or 612 473 023 Email: buddhahouse479@gmail.com Buddha479

Dr. Carlos Castillo GP and Paediatrician

C S

Dr. Michael Mannish English Dentist & Cosmetic Dentistry Your health partner

w w w w

General Medicine Paediatrics Internal Medicine Acupuncture

w w w w

Jose Antonio Gonzalez Maxillofacial Surgeon

Cardiologist (Dr. Daniel Gaitán) Urologist (Dr. Eric Schulten) Dermatologist (Dr. Joaquin Mut) Physiotherapy / Osteopathy

BRING IN A DENTAL ESTIMATE? MAYBE WE CAN BETTER IT

We Speak English, German & French

Centro Internacional, Blq. 86, TORROX COSTA

Tel: 952 53 09 08

Please call for more information or send an e-mail: info@clinicaeuropa.eu Visit our website: www.clinicaeuropa.eu

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Funny Pics To Think About

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39

Funny Pics To Think About

If you see me talking to myself, I’m having a staff meeting

Plumbing

By Chris

Repairs - Replacements - Reforms

wTOILETS LEAKING? wGrab Rails wDRIPPING TAPS? wBlocked Wastes wSHOWER PROBLEMS? wWater Filters wReplaced/installed wHOT WATER PROBLEMS? wBathroom Ventilation - Solar Powered

Prevent Mould & Damp Free

ESTABLISHED IN 1982 Call Chris on: 674 617 379 NO CaLL OuT FEE!

Broomfield Construction

& Property Maintenance All aspects of building work undertaken Plastering Plumbing Tiling Rendering Kitchens Terraces Bathrooms House Reforms Wet Rooms Call Matthew: 711 002 689 Urb. El Mirador de la Axarquia, 25 Vivienda, Alcaucin Email: broomfieldmatthew@gmail.com www.broomfieldconstruction.es

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Child’s Play Children’s funny thoughts about that large body of water called the ocean!

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.

(James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7) 4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) 5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8) 6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.

(William age 7) 8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) 9) I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) 10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.

They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

TOTAL SATELLITE INSTALLATIONS WANT SATELLITE T.V CHANNELS? Have you lost BBC1, 2, 3, 4, ITv1, CH4, BBC News & BBC Radio ?

THEN HAVE IT BACK THROUGH SATELLITE To move your own dish and supply a new Digibox - ONE OFF PRICE €280

UK IPTV

all uK channels including Sport & Films Catch up Tv On Demand Movies

25€ per month Call Phil or Nigel on: 629 556 266 Email: totalsat@gmx.com

Puente don Manuel

Opening hours Tuesday - Sunday 13:00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 23:30

Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212

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ym y n o Acr tionar Dic A

nar tio c i ed nlin - S o s d rce nym sou acro d w cro

S2R Send to receive (meaning send me your picture to get mine) S2S Sorry to say S4L Spam for life SAL Such a laugh SAT Sorry about that SB Should be SB Smiling back SBIA Stand back in amazement SBT Sorry 'bout that SC Stay cool SD Sweet dreams SDMB Sweet dreams, my baby SEO Search engine optimization SETE Smiling Ear-to-Ear SFAIK So far as I know SH Same here

f yo

SH^ Shut up SHID Slapping head in disgust SICNR Sorry, I could not resist SIG2R Sorry, I got to run SIHTH Stupidity is hard to take SIMYC Sorry I missed your call SIR Strike it rich SIS Sniggering in silence SIS Sister SIT Stay in touch SITD Still in the dark SK8 Skate SK8NG Skating SK8R Skater SK8RBOI Skater Boy SLAP Sounds like a plan SM Social media SMAZED Smoky haze (marijuana stoned) SMH Shaking my head

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Song & Beach Karaoke Bar - El Copo, Torre del Mar Song & Beach is the only Karaoke bar in Torre del bar and what a great bar it is too!

Located in El Copo, Song & Beach is a superb place to gather with your friends and family and have lots fun singing Karaoke. The bar is not just for singing, you can also watch all the live football matches, play table football and electronic darts and lots of other things in a unique and welcoming environment.

On their menu you can find a great range of cocktails, top shelf premium drinks, organic coffee, smoothies, milkshakes, icecreams and waffles all of which you can enjoy either inside or outside on their terrace.. and all this is just a stones throw away from the sea.

Song & Beach is open from 6pm - 3am Tuesday - Sunday.

See main advert on page 10

SaLES & RENTaLS We urgently Require Properties Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362 Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780

Estate Agents!

Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A Torre del MAr Tel: 952 547 554 / 680 210 414

THIS SPACE FOR JUST 180 euros for the year!!

Call: 664 210 468

info@buyahomespain.com www.buyahomespain.com

www.casa-terreno.net

Cómpeta

Torrox

Torre del Mar

+34 952 51 61 78 +34 952 53 91 25 +34 952 54 18 86

Calle del Mar 23, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 601

Country and Village Houses For Sale Office/Home: +34 952 55 77 33 Mobile: +34 606 010 580 unspoiltandalusia@gmail.com www.unspoiltandalusia.com

www.andalucia4you.net Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avda. Andalucía 125 Caleta de Vélez

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Random Jokes To Keep Us Smiling :) The postman just knocked on the door.

‘Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.’

I said, ‘No, my name is Jones.’

------------------------------------------------------------All of my friends call me a hypochondriac.

You know, that really hurts.

------------------------------------------------------------My overweight parrot died today. I was upset but it's a huge weight off my shoulder.

------------------------------------------------------------First person, ‘What inspires you to get out of bed in the morning?’

Second person, ‘My bladder mostly’!

------------------------------------------------------------Yesterday my window cleaner banged on my front door and started shouting and swearing at me. I think he'd lost his rag.

------------------------------------------------------------Just found out one of my electrician mates, Kit Breaker is getting a knighthood.

He will now be known as Sir Kit Breaker!

------------------------------------------------------------We went to breakfast at a restaurant where

s, !

ER! steak F F n L O tinia CIA S en SPE s Arg d PLU wine u a l g n a An & s entinia lack chips B r A g 2 € e o f N LY 4 5 l t t o O b a

641 257 029

Paseo Maritimo, El Copo next to Torre del Mar

the "Seniors' Special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for €1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said.

"But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you 2.49€ because you're ordering A la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.

"YES!!" stated the waitress.

"I'll take the special then." my wife said.

"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!

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51

Vetiver Spain - Now Is The Time To Be Planting Vetiver Grass Vetiver Spain has been growing and selling Vetiver Grass for almost 10 years now in Sayalonga.

Grass, Comfrey plants, and other exotic African seedlings. Free Lemon Grass and Moringa seeds with every order.

Vetiver is an interesting and unusual plant which is a non-invasive clump grass that is indigenous to India. Unlike most plants Vetiver loves the heat of summer when it grows rapidly. If planted now, the plants should be 1-2 metres tall by the fall when the winds come. We use it as a windbreak to protect the freshly planted fragile Avocado trees from the winter winds while stopping the erosion on our terraces.

If you do not know the benefits of Moringa or Lemon Grass type in these 2 links. https://www.vetiverspain.org/moringa-oleifera-.html https://www.vetiverspain.org/lemon-grass.html

Vetiver is fairly new to most European countries even though it has been used worldwide for thousands of years. Vetiver is used mainly for preventing erosion even though it has many other uses like animal feed, cleaning contaminated water, rejuvenating soil all while increasing crop production. Our elevation is 500m. We plant all year but the best results are in spring and summer. Locations on the coast have a longer growing season.

View our website for applications and to see more examples of time stamped photos showing the results of planting at different times of year.

If you would like to have a free analysis you can send us photos of the erosion issues you have and we can give you some guidance.

After the shutdown we have some specials to help people catch up in their gardens.

Contact: David or Anna Home page: www.vetiverspain.com Information page: www.vetiverspain.org Email: info@vetiverspain.com Telephone: 692 288 657 See main advert on page 33

We now carry Moringa seedlings, Moringa seeds, Organic Moringa Powder, Lemon

Horse Riding / Riding Lessons Paseos a Caballo / Clases de Equitación Approved by "Junta de Andalucía" for Active Tourism/Equestrian Tourism

VéLEZ-MÁLAGA

+34 686 548 017 - Julia www.horse-riding-torredelmar.com

Picadero de Cabrillas

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Random Joke :) Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 storey skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the lifts in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, “Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell

jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way”.

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.

At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"

Give Your Business A Boost This SUMMER from only 20€ per month Call: 664 210 468

Please mention The Sentinella Magazine When replying to adverts & shop local

Email: sales@thesentinella.com www.thesentinella.com

Thank you!

BBC 1, 2, 4: ITV 1: CH 4: CH 5: BBC NEWS: CBEEBIES: CBBC AND BBC RADIO - HD and Recording options One off payment - No internet required

Replace / Renew - our service on your Mag / Firestick / Android devices

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51

Beertastic!

Uses for Beer other than drinking!

Research shows that in moderation, beer has significant health benefits. It’s time, I feel, to make beer an even bigger part of our world.

Here are some reasons to love it: Marinate Meat – Beer is slightly acidic which makes it an excellent meat tenderiser. Beer also won’t alter the meat’s flavour as much as wine and vinegar based marinades. Poke a few holes in the meat, put it in a plastic container, or large resealable bag and add beer. (English ale is great for beef). Marinate in the fridge for a few hours, or overnight. Do not be tempted to drink the marinade.

Shampoo Hair – Beer is a remedy for dull hair. Pour a cup into a saucepan and bring to the boil over a medium heat. Let it reduce until there’s ¼ cup left. This removes the alcohol, which can dry hair. Let the beer cool then mix it with a cup of your fave shampoo.

Pour it into an empty shampoo bottle, then rinse and wash as usual. It will give your hair more shine.

Kill Snails – Gather a few empty jars and fill them a third of the way with beer. Bury them about 15ft from your garden. Make sure the rims are almost level with the soil surface. For some unknown reason, snails love beer.

They’ll find the traps, drop in and drown.

Catch Mice – Put out a few small pails or bowls of beer with a small ramp leading up to the lip. The mice will be attracted to the smell, hop in, drink their fill, then be unable to climb out.

Cure Insomnia – Get your hands on some hops used to brew beer and sew them into a pillow. Apparently the smell of hops is a sleep aid. I’ve never tried it though and remember a hop is a type of flower, so take care if you suffer from allergies.

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Colour Of A Car It’s not news that the colours we choose to wear reflect what kind of mood we’re in.

But now’s the time to learn what the colour of your car says about your personality. And if you aren’t happy with the revelation then don’t worry - there’s always a paint job!

Silver Elegant, loves futuristic looks, cool White - Fastidious, vibrant

Sober, corporate, practical, pragmatic (in other words boring) Dark green Traditional, trustworthy, well balanced Bright yellow/green Trendy, whimisical, lively Yellow gold Intelligent, warm, loves comfort and will pay for it

Red Sexy, speedy, high energy and dynamic Light to mid-blue - Cool, calm, faithful, quiet

Sunshine yellow Sunny disposition, joyful and young at heart

Dark blue Credible, confident, dependable

Orange Fun-loving, talkative, fickle and trendy

Black Empowered, not easily manipulated, loves elegance, appreciates classics

Deep purple Creative, individualistic, original

Neutral grey

Deep brown Down-to-earth, no nonsense

HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 7 SEATER TAXI CAR RENTALS

All range of cars: Basic, Medium, Automatic and 7 seater cars Delivery & collection at Málaga airport or at your location HOLIDAY APARTMENTS IN ALGARROBO COSTA BEACH Algarrobo Costa Block Montevideo, 3 Tel: 0034 952 511 209 Email: estrellarentweb@gmail.com www. estrellarent.com We speak English, German & Spanish

Monday to Thursday 6pm to close Friday, Saturday and Sunday 5pm to close Free wiFi All Homemade Paseo Maritimo de Levante 1, Esc 3, Local 6, EL COPO, Torre del Mar

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Quality Bespoke Wood Furniture Meet Wes Wood Work When you meet Wes and his wife Eva, you know immediately that they love their family business and life here in Spain, Torrox Campo.

They have fully embraced everything about their environment, the local towns, schools for their children, outdoor life and indeed the tools of their trade – wood.

“It’s simple, wood is our passion and we love to make furniture” says Wes. Initially upon arriving from Holland 3 years ago, he imported wood from his Dutch supplier but soon found equivalent high-quality products here in the Axarquia and client feedback demonstrates it’s perfect!

“I make tables, benches, kitchen doors and work surfaces, bureaus and really anything clients want! It’s a dream job, bespoke furniture to clients’ designs, I create it for them working with my metal experts, when required, and ensure it’s exactly what they MODERN

vINTaGE

RuSTIC

ELEGaNT

Tel: 679 171 008 woodworkwes www.weswoodwork.com

We asked Wes and Eva what they felt they’re ‘Unique Selling Points’ were, they both felt it was a combination of everything they do: response to enquiry, attention to detail, quality of the product, the price and their after-sales service including a 2 year guarantee. When you look at the pictures of Wes’ work and read the client testimonials on their Facebook/Website pages, it obvious it’s working!

Get in touch directly with WesWoodWork for your dream furniture.

Telephone: 679 171 008 www.facebook.com/woodworkwes www.weswoodwork.com See main advert below

SHaBBY

Quality Bespoke Wood Furniture Tables, benches, kitchen doors, work surfaces, bureaus, built-in wardrobes and more...

Any size, colour or design for home, gardens and businesses.

Constructed for stability and durability with a quality service you can trust

are looking for. Any size, colour or design for homes, gardens and businesses. Wood types I use include American pine, teak, oak or other types of hardwood. I enjoy creating something from nothing, there are no limits to what I can build - I recently made a massive table for a local boutique hotel 4.5 x 1.5 metres of wood and metal, weighing around 700kg - the client’s reaction was perfect!”.

PRaCTICaL

STYLISH

MINIMaLISTIC

CHIC

Your Design Brought to Life

Experience the very best of Asian cuisine

MENU OF THE DAY - 6.65€ EVENING MENU - 7.65€ Monday - Friday (except holidays) Easy Parking Take away

Opening Times - 12.00 - 16.00 / 18.30 - 23.30 Closed Tuesdays (Open on Fiestas) Avenida Andalucia, 35 Bajo ALGARROBO COSTA

Tel: 952 551 439 Mobile: 673 160 208

Sales I rentals I Management

do you want to sell your propert y? despite CoVId-19, the market is surprisingly buoyant We have Buyers ready to move PleASe CAll US NoW! Vélez-Málaga

For Sale

S4-308

Exceptional 4 Bed 2.5 Bath Village House in old town, wonderful southerly aspect & panoramic views.

Accommodation: living room, f/f kitchen, pantry, 4 beds, 2 baths, WC, utility room, workshop & storage & large roof terrace with Jacuzzi. Many special features

Sales Price: 169,000€ (NeW!)

Puente don Manuel

For Sale

S3-661

Top Quality 3 Bed 2 Bath Bungalow (121m² built, 400m² plot),

south facing, amazing mountain views & walking distance to local amenities. Accommodation: good size lounge/dining room, new f/f kitchen, 3 double beds (master en-suite), family bathroom.

Established gardens, private parking, sunny & shaded terraces

Sales Price: 189,000€ (NeW!) Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, (opposite bus station) Torre del MAr - Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

email: info@buyahomespain.com

Sales I rentals I Management For Sale S4-283

Iznate

Stunning 4 Bed Townhouse located at the top of the village.

Accommodation: living room, 3 double bedrooms, a casita which can be easily become a 4th bedroom, f/f kitchen/diner & a spacious bathroom. It has a very large terrace with the possibility of building a splash pool. Ideal for buyers wanting to enjoy the Spanish culture and the amazing views

Sales Price: 119,000€ (GreAT VAlUe!) Vélez-Málaga

For Sale

S3-634

Beautiful 3 Bed 2 Bath Townhouse, (148m² built), very spacious inside with a light atmosphere.

Accommodation: spacious living room with open-plan f/f kitchen, 3 beds (master with walk-in closet & an en-suite) family bathroom, terrace with town & mountain views

Sales Price: 119,000€ (FUllY reForMed!) Benajarafe

For Sale

S3-630

Gorgeous 3 Bed 2.5 Bath Villa (220m² built, 575m² plot).

Spacious & top quality throughout: porch, entrance hall, lounge, dining room, f/f kitchen, 3 double beds, 2 baths, WC, utility room, 3 garages (can be converted), swimming pool, covered & sunny terraces, mature gardens & wonderful sea views

Sales Price: 375,000€ (BIG redUCTIoN!)

w w w.buyahomespain.com

Enquire about our next FREE Legal Clinic

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Saucy Postcards

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61

Only In America Everything is so way-out in the USA, man‌ Just take a sneakers at the sentences below:

waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

8. Only in America... do they buy hot dogs in packets of ten and buns in packets of eight.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

9. Only in America... do they use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put their useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call

Breakfasts, Lunches, Homemade Desserts Extensive menu Veggie and Vegan options You’ve got to try their great extenDeD vegetarian menu! every Friday - Fantastic Fish, Chips and mushy Peas

Simply the Best Full English!

Tel: 640 569 988 Avda. Andalucia, 34, Torre del Mar (opposite old Police Station)

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63

Pool Services Group (PSG) Are you thinking about heating your pool?

Have you thought about heating your pool in the past and have been put off by not only the price, but also trying to work out what is best for you and your pool.

Let’s see if we can cover some of the points which will help you to decide on what you should be looking for, but also remember you can call PSG for further advice and to arrange a free no obligation on-site visit from one of our technical installers.

When choosing your heater you have a choice of inverter and non inverter models, without going into much technical data quite simply the Inverter heater is a little more expensive to buy but more efficient to run from a monthly cost perspective.

If you intend to heat your pool throughout the year we would strongly recommend you take the option of the inverter heaters. With most companies the price differential between the inverter heater and non inverter can be quite substantial but at PSG as a main distributor we are able to offer great prices on the inverter heaters.

It maybe that you only want to heat your pool from say May to November, this being the case the cheaper non inverter heater could be a good choice.

Another consideration is the size of heater that is required as this is going to be decided

on two main factors, the size of the pool and by how long you want to extend your swimming season.

For example if you’re on the coast and you have a standard 8 x 4 pool with a good quality pool cover then a 17KW heater will keep your pool at approximately 27.5oC all year round.

If you’re looking at the April to November season you could use a 14KW non inventor heater and you would achieve the same water temperature.

This is just an example, if you move inland where winter temperatures drop considerably it might be that you would move up to a 19KW heater, all circumstances are different but be assured you will get the best advice from PSG. We will finish with this last piece of advice, and it’s something clients come to us about on a daily basis. Try to avoid taking too much information from various websites as it can easily become very confusing. Make sure whatever you purchase the heater has a long manufactures warranty. Our Norsup heaters offer a 10 year warranty which is unrivalled.

Look for titanium heat exchanger which mean they will never corrode and will give maximum heat transfer, ie: more heat for less money.

Special reader offer for August: Order a heater for installation before the end of 2020 and we will give you a further 10% off the price of any heater and 20% off a Geo Bubble Pool Cover.

See Pool Services Group Main Adverts on Pages 62 and 64.

Tel: (00 34) 711 00 44 45 email: info@poolservicesgroup.com

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65

Items For Sale / Wanted I WILL COLLECT fREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning.

Call me on 625 319 323 Jacqui NEW MEMBERS WANTED - EL CAPITAN Silkie Hens and Fertile Eggs A decorative and docile breed of chicken.

Various colours.

Chicks and young birds often available.

Eggs can be shipped. Based Almuñecar.

Call Helen: 659 280 142 Email: helenita10@hotmail.com

TENNIS CLUB Torre Del Mar. Open to new members. For information Ring 623192294.

WANTED BUSINESS PARTNER to run a coffee and ice cream shop in Torre del Mar. It is brand new, very close to the beach and the main playground. For more details call 651 357 209

If you have something to sell Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

Grade 1 Levis 501 & 505 30€ Denim dungarees 30€ Sports jackets; Nike, Fila etc... 12.50€ American hoodie sweat shirts 12.50€ Phone Peter 696 857 401

Text only - 3 euros 1/16 box - 10 euros

Pu ffs 20€ Enjoy the beach as you never did before. Stylish, and comfortable.

Beach puffs are made with extra resistant and high density materials, waterproof, filled with non-flammable polystyrene and available in different summer colours and combinations. Easily adaptable and will fit to your preferred position.

ORDERS AND HOME DELIVERY: 664 689 138

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Age By Maths Work out your age by dinner and restaurant maths, as you read...

number (i.e, How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold) 3. Add 5 4. Multiply it by 50 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1770 .... If you haven't, add 1769.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

Persianas / Shutters Repairs - Replacements

wSLATS DAMAGED? wBROKEN CORDS? wMOTOR PROBLEMS? wSHUTTERS NOT OPENING OR CLOSING?

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Call Chris on: 674 617 379 NO CaLL OuT FEE!

Tel: 620 678 240 Email: brittonuk.nb@gmail.com Free No Obligation Quotes References Available

www.nbconstruction.es

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& t i Fru Facts us Veg parag As

Asparagus spears are a great source of vitamins and minerals and have large amounts of fibre. People eat it raw or cooked, and in dishes such as soups, stews, salads, or on its own.

Asparagus is known for making pee smell funny. But it can do so much more, like help you beat bloat and lose weight, thanks to its diurectic properties and high fibre content.

Green asparagus is in season from September to March and white asparagus between September and January. Purple asparagus has a shorter season and is in supply between October and December.

Asparagus is a great source of vitamins (including vitamin A, C, E, K, and B6, as well as folate, calcium, and protein).

It contains minerals such as magnesium and iron, which are important for the production of blood cells. Plus, it’s a rich source of antioxidants.

High levels of free radicals in the body can lead to cell damage that may result in cancer.

Asparagus provides a range of antioxidants that may help the body eliminate these unwanted substances.

A cup of asparagus can provide almost half of an adult’s daily requirement of vitamin K, and a 2018 review, for example, concludes that vitamin K supports bone health in various ways and may help prevent osteoporosis.

Five asparagus spears or 80g of asparagus counts as one portion towards your five-a-day.

Avoid buying asparagus if the stems look dry and the tips are damaged. Your asparagus is fresh if you can easily snap the bottom part of the spear off.

There is some evidence that asparagus may help ease some of the symptoms of a hangover due to the vegetable’s fibre and flavonoid (plant compounds) content. The research even suggests that asparagus may help reduce damage to the liver caused by alcohol, although further research is needed.

To keep asparagus fresh, wrap the stem ends in a wet paper towel, and store the asparagus in a plastic bag in the refrigerator.

Tips for preparing asparagus Steam asparagus spears and dip in a melted butter and lemon sauce for a simple, nutritious snack.

Sauté asparagus in a little olive oil and minced garlic. Season it with freshly ground black pepper and a sprinkle of freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

Steam whole asparagus for 5 minutes, then add minced garlic and a drizzle of olive oil.

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71

CAS Cat News CAS Cat News Each month the Costa Animal Society (CAS) allocates €500 to help the homeless kitten and cat population in Nerja, Maro and the surrounding countryside. Unfortunately in the process of rescuing our feline friends and providing for the stable cat colonies that we are aware of those funds are quickly exhausted.

Examples of costs incurred include: food, blood tests, neutering, vaccinations, treatment for worms, fleas and ticks, microchipping and providing the cats with passports for rehoming abroad. If foster homes cannot be found, kenneling costs can quickly escalate. Thus, the adding machine tape runs on and on.

Life on the streets for a homeless cat is one of constant danger and a tireless quest for food and shelter. If you would like to be part of our team helping to shepherd these lovely animals from the mean streets to loving, forever homes please contact Fiona via

costaanimalsociety@gmail.com. You can also make a financial contribution earmarked for the cat account.

For more information regarding cats availble for fostering or adoption see the Facebook page \East of Malaga kitttens or cats/Gatitos de la Axarquia.

Vera and Diana Retire With over 30 years of combined serivce to the Costa Animal Society (CAS), Vera and Diana are stepping down as President and Secretary respectively. Stalwarts of the animal rescue community, dare I say legends of “the old guard”, they have been an inspiration to all who have volunteered beside them, myself included.

CAS is pleased to announce that May Delaney will take the reins as president with Carrie stepping in as Secretary. Both Vera and Diana will remain on the board of directors ensuring a smooth transition and in what are certainly extraodinary times. ¡Gracias por todo!

Businesses Chatelin ortopedia & pedicurist practice We are a company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic sector. Linda is a qualified pedicurist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker, for all your inlays and sport inlays, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...open Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325 Dentadanés Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices, a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991. We have two dentists, (one Danish female, one English male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at www.dentadanes.com for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to and pictures of the clinic. Open Monday to Friday 10am - 5pm including all summer

THIS SPACE *From 15 euros per month

Call: 664 210 468 CHATELIN ORTOPEDIA & FULLY QUALIFIED PEDICURIST wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

High Level Pedicurist

General care and advice wFor all inlays (inc. Sports) for gorgeous feet, because we care about your feet as much as you do! wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds MORE than just a pedicure, wRehabilitaion articles, etc. look good, FEEL GREAT!!

Opening Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email: henrychatelin@hotmail.com

In

Nerja

months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German and Spanish.

Tel: 952 52 96 66.

La llave de oro, Calle Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening & repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes & other security products.

Do you need some expert advice in Holiday Accommodation? Nerja Beach Holidays are waiting to do just this! Visit their properties directly via their Virtual tour on www.nerjabeachholidays.com They offer all kinds of holiday and winter rentals. They speak English, French and Spanish to help you along the way. They have an extensive range of 1 to 3 bed apartments and villas. Booking can be made via Whatsapp, FB, Website, Email or phone. Nerja Beach Holidays have it all covered!

Contact Karine +34 644 793 168 / admin@nerjabeachholidays.com

wHoliday & Winter Rentals wEnglish, French and Spanish Speaking w1 to 3 Bedroom Apartments & Villas wBooking via WhatsApp, Facebook or Website Visit our website: www.nerjabeachholidays.com to view our range of properties and enjoy our Virtual Tour Contact Karine: +34 644 793 168 Email: admin@nerjabeachholidays.com

LOCKSMITH Home Service covering all Axarquia Calle Granada, 88 NERJA Tel: 952 52 4651

24 HOURS 606 939 929

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Film Cle

w e i v Re ncy e m

(

glass; the injection fails, and the execution is horribly botched.

9) 201

Rating: R Written and directed by: Chinonye Chukwu Stars: alfre Woodard, Richard Schiff, aldis Hodge, Wendell Pierce, Danielle Brooks, Michael O'Neill and Richard Gunn Bernadine Williams (alfre Woodard) is a prison warden preparing for the execution of a prisoner (aldis Hodge) who proclaims his innocence and is hoping for a last-minute reprieve. Her husband (Wendell Pierce) asks her to prioritise life outside work, but has her job already taken too heavy a toll?

Clemency’s opening scene shows prison warden Bernadine overseeing the 11th execution of her career. The inmate’s face contorts in pain and he recites the Lord’s Prayer as his mother raises her cross to the

The rest of writer-director Chinonye Chukwu’s powerful, needle-sharp drama follows the run-up to execution number 12, as the reality of Bernadine’s job destabilises her peace of mind, her sleep and her marriage.

Woodard’s subtle but affecting lead performance draws us into her private hell as she follows the regulations for killing a man by day, and drowns her demons in a local bar by night. The film itself mirrors her emotional disconnect.

The prisoner sentenced to die is a young black man convicted of murdering a police officer. He proclaims his innocence, as does his determined, righteous lawyer (Richard Schiff) and the anonymous protestors chanting his name in solidarity outside the prison walls.

The most devastating revelation in this remarkable film is that there is little prospect of reprieve for Bernadine herself.

Star Rating: ****/*****

Have your Air Conditioning serviced and repaired correctly and legally by our technicians. Certification of COVID disinfection is available for Commercial and Holiday Rental properties. We are now based in both Nerja and Viñuela and are now able to attend to you even quicker up and down the coast.

NEW A++ RATED SAMSUNG A/C UNITS SUPPLIED AND CORRECTLY INSTALLED FROM ONLY €750 + IVA

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info@polarair.eu

Call Peter on: 655 211 192 Call: on: 655633 211886 192 or Jordan 921

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indian Cuisine

Delicious food at the Best venue on the Promenade in torre del mar

Use the link below to view menu or scan QR code https://www.movilmenu.com/indus/29740

Call: 631 080 785

Open 13.00 - 15.30 / 19.30 - 23.00 every day TORRE DEL MAR (opposite Yacht Club) Indus Chef Spice Torre del Mar

Do you have health or mobility issues?

Would support enable you to remain independent at your own home?

Liz Brown is probably the only UK trained nurse to have ENB specialist qualifications in the care of older people. Liz is registered to practice in Andalucia, together with her fully police checked and insured home care support team. We offer one-on-one companionship and emotional support in the comfort of your own home.

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What Is It? What the devil are we rambling on about?

Hazard a guess and see if you’re right by reading to the end. Clue: They can be long or short...!

Arrnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Bush is one Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on three.

What is it?

Answer on page 99

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79

Water Solutions By Lee Talbot Construction Hard Water Filter Solution Due to the hard water typically found in Andalusia, excesive build-up of scale is a common problem in the home resulting in poor performance of any heating units such as kettles and boilers.

Other items in the house that may not be as obviously affected but will have a significant impact are: -Solar Panels reduced efficiency -Reduced water pressure due to water pipes being clogged, -Scale on the walls of swimming pools.

The standard approach to solving these issues was to have a water softener installed.

While this is an effective way of combating hard water, water softeners are expensive to purchase, take up valuable time in requiring the salt tablets to be frequently replenished and which are a costly addition. They also require a suitable location to be housed.

The one stop lime filter, resolves all of the above issues.

The benefits are: -Prevents scaling without using chemicals -Cost effective and eco-friendly

-Reduces heavy metals such copper, lead, mercury and zinc.

-No maintenance, free of salt or other chemicals. No heavy salt bags to carry around.

-Increase efficiency of boilers, solar panels, dishwashers, washing machines.

-Easy to install, no electricity and no backwash pipes required.

-Solves the typical problems of standard softeners.

The system works by interacting with the scale molecules turning them into harmless crystals that do not attach to surfaces and are simple washed away.

Water filter Prices: One Stop+ Lime Filter 400€ + IVA. Replacement Cartridge 206€ + IVA (Required changing every 36 months with constant usage).

LT Construction have 20 years’ experience in water management treatment in Spain.

Call us for a free consultation.

See main advert below

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ss e l e Us cts ey are us!eless Fa As alwaybsutthamazing

8. A group of hippos is called a "bloat."

9. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every 2 weeks.

10. A blob of toothpaste is called a nurdle.

1. Many oranges are actually green.

2. You are 13.8 percent more likely to die on your birthday.

3. The pig has the longest orgasm observed in mammals.

4. A Greek-Canadian man invented the "Hawaiian" pizza.

11. Blue whales have the largest penises on Earth.

12. Americans eat enough burgers to circle the earth over 32 times.

5. Grass flip flops are an actual product you can buy.

6. If you open your eyes in a pitch-black room, the colour you'll see is called "eigengrau."

7. Cats can't taste sweet things because of a genetic defect.

HEATING - COOLING - SOLAR - HEAT PUMPS SALES - SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

TRAPICHE MARKET

Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1.30pm r

e Come and enjoy a relaxing morning at Los Jardines del Trapiche, mb e t p THE nicest market venue on the Costa.

Se t sif you have something n 1 uniQue to sell and o EASY PARKING in want a pitch, ga a n please contact anita e p o e Outside courtyard and beautiful function room full of ob t g fabulous stalls offering something for everyone. Browse at pin o your leisure and enjoy a coffee in the stunning surroundings eh rA-272 a turning onto the Velez-Malaga road Take the We Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards A-356.

Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Call Anita on: 627 877 164

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Men Are Men Story with a moral...

An attractive, well built blonde from Dublin arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude".

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY - Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men

Early to bed, Early to rise, Work like hell, And ADVERTISE! Laurence J. Peter

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

From as little as 5 euros per month!!* Call: 664 210 468

Email: sales@thesentinella.com

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Fun

cs i P ny

S

I M P O B

2 e

3 w m

4

3

7

To advertise Call: 664 210 468

Recipe Of The Month Stuffed Peppers - 4 portions Ingredients:  Medium sized red peppers x 4 Pilaff Rice (long grain) 200g / 8oz Onion chopped 50g / 2oz Butter 50g / 2oz Salt and pepper Carrots sliced 50g / 2oz Onions sliced 50g / 2oz Bouquet Garni (Bay leaf, thyme, parsley stalks) White stock half litre / 1 pint Method: 1. Place the peppers on a tray in the oven or under the grill for a few minutes or deep fry in hot oil at 180oC / 365F until the skins blister.

2. Remove the skin and stalk carefully and empty out all the seeds.

3. Stuff with a well seasoned pilaff of rice which may be varied by the addition of mushrooms, tomatoes, ham etc.

4. Replace the stem (lid of the peppers) 5. Place the peppers on the sliced carrot and onion in a casserole dish suitable for the oven with the stock and bouquet garni and seasoning. Cover with a buttered greaseproof paper and lid.

6. Cook in a moderate oven at 180oC - 200oC / 350 - 400F for 1 hour or until tender.

7. Serve garnished with fresh parsley.

TONY PHILLIPS

Van & trailers.

Light haulage, removals up to 25m3, car & boat transport.

Vinuela based, 25 years experience.

Local or anywhere in Europe.

Regular Spain-UK-Spain trips.

Phone 636 844 209 E-mail: hazeltony@live.co.uk

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Health Watch Keep your insides healthy and eat your way through the alphabet. This month we take a look at the pros of eating figs and fish figs These fruits have been used to treat cancer for centuries and have been found by Japanese Scientists to reduce the size of tumours. Forgetting cancer, figs also aid digestion and contain minerals aplenty, including potassium, iron and high levels of calcium.

Doctors often recommend the consumption of figs for constipation as they encourage bowel movements. So if you’re having problems on the loo, get the figs in! Fresh figs can also be used to treat toothache, colds and chesty coughs.

protects arteries, lowers blood cholesterol and blood pressure, reduces the risk of heart attacks and strokes, and the list goes on...

The extra-fatty variety such as sardines, mackerel, salmon, tuna, anchovy and trout are the best.

Another plus of eating fish is that it helps you reach your full mental potential when your brain power is lagging. Some people’s brain power lags more than others of course! And if you live here then no-one has any excuse not to eat fish, unless you are a pescatarian or you simply don’t like it!

fish What a catch! Eating fish thins the blood,

ADVERTISE HERE If you are a business owner and reading this, then so are your

POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS!!!

For Free specialist days in August Please call for details

Contact us for details 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

alcalá Transport

Providing Man & Van service to and from the UK twice a month (two vans) wReferences available wCommercial & private work wFull & part loads wNo obligation quotes w10 years working in Spain wFully insured, Spanish registered company Call Colin on 608 085 700 or 0044 7936 886 822 Email: alcalamav@gmail.com

This Space can be yours From 20 euros per month .......................

Call: 664 210 468 sales@thesentinella.com

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891

DENTIST Dr Bakri

Complete maintenance & cleaning of; Swimming pools, houses & offices Communities & Gardens (palm pruning) Disinfection against Covid-19 Avda. Infanta Elena 1, Torre del Mar 695 163 849 / 695 163 856 Email: novaxarmar@gmail.com

*Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892 ULTRA CLEAN

Apartment - Townhouse - Villa

CLEAN & CHANGEOVERS FO R AL L Y O UR B UI LD IN G R E QU IR E M E NT S Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing.

Free no obligation quotes. very competitive prices. visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

rob@platinumbuildingservices.net www.platinumbuildingservices.net

Te l : 66 5 3 2 2 1 36 - 9 52 5 39 42 3

Key holding - Laundry - Gardening - Meet & Greet

Torre del Mar Pammy: 674 597 984

IZZI&CAPELLI Torre del Mar

All aspects of Hair and Nail treatments plus a Brow Bar Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI

Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621

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s Now b e l Ce en & k Duffy Th Patric Patrick Duffy was born on March 17, 1949 in Montana, America. He is an American actor.

He is best known for his role in the soap opera ‘Dallas’ between 1978 - 1985 and from 1986 to 1991.

Patrick’s parents, Marie and Terence Duffy were pub owners. He was the youngest of two children.

He attended Cascade High School. Patrick wanted to become a professional athlete, and became a certified scuba diver while in his teens. He later attended the University of Washington. In 1971, he graduated from the university with a Degree in Drama. While he was in college, he ruptured his vocal cords.

He taught mime and movement classes at this time. He was also an interpreter for ballet, orchestra and opera companies in Washington DC. It was around this time, he met his wife, Carlyn. She was a professional ballerina with the First Chamber Dance Company of New York. They had two children together, Terence and Conor who gave them four grandchildren. In 2017 his wife passed away.

Carlyn introduced Patrick to Buddhism, which he has practiced for the past 30 years. The couple married in a Buddhist temple in 1974.

T.V shows he starred in were: In 1977, Duffy landed the role of Mark Harris in the short-lived television series Man from Atlantis.

In early 1978, he got his big break in the role of Bobby Ewing, opposite Barbara Bel Geddes and Larry Hagman, on the prime-time soap opera Dallas. The show became a worldwide success. Despite its success, Duffy opted to leave the series in 1985 with his character being killed off onscreen. However, with both the show and his career on the decline, he returned in 1986 in the infamous shower scene that rendered the entire 1985–1986 season "just a dream."

Duffy then remained with the series until its cancellation in 1991. He also appeared in several episodes of the spin-off series Knots Landing between 1979–82. In 1983, he had a hit song in Europe with "Together We're Strong", a duet with French female singer Mireille Mathieu. The single reached #5 in the Netherlands in April 1983.

Duffy began another television role, as Frank Lambert on the family sitcom, Step by Step in which he co-starred with Suzanne Somers.

The series ran until 1998, In the 1990s, he appeared in two Dallas reunion television movies; J.R. Returns (1996) and War of the Ewings (1998). Duffy later continued to act in the occasional guest or voice acting appearance, including the series Family Guy. Duffy starred in the television movies Falling in Love With the Girl Next Door and Desolation Canyon. In 2006, he began a recurring role on the daytime soap opera The Bold and the Beautiful as Stephen Logan.

From April to July 2008, he hosted Bingo America, a partially interactive game show on GSN. On November 18, 1986, Patrick’s parents Terrence and Marie were murdered by two young men, Kenneth Miller and Sean Wentz, during an armed robbery of the Boulder, Montana, pub that his parents owned. Wentz and Miller, who were teenagers at the time, were convicted of the murders and sentenced to 75 years in prison. Miller was released on parole in December 2007. Sean Wentz was granted parole in 2015.

Patrick is currently aged 71, living in Eagle Point, Oregon, United States. He has an estimated net worth of $14 million and is currently in good health.

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Green light for BGT ITV has ditched Britain’s Got Talent’s live semis and will instead screen pre-recorded shows in slots once destined for the now-axed X Factor.

Bosses hope the episodes, due on Saturdays from September, will dominate the ratings thanks to BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing being pushed back to late October.

Only the final of Simon Cowell’s BGT will be live due to the impact of social distancing rules.

Insiders revealed that acts tricky to get into the studio, such as huge dance troupe X1X Crew from India, will perform on home turf.

Other acts could be kept away for safety, such as disability awareness choir Sign Along With Us, which has members shielding.

A source said: “The idea is to get the run finished before Strictly is out of the blocks.

“Even if a full audience isn't possible, we may be able to get a smaller one, with gaps between the groups, and enhance the sound afterwards. We always say that the audience is like a fifth judge so that's been a great relief.”

Favourites include singing nurse Beth Porch, Sign Along with Us and singer-songwriter Sirine Jahangir.

Amanda supports Depp A former ‘best friend’ of Amber Heard will no longer give evidence at Johnny Depp's libel trial after she said she felt the actress had "misled" her. #MeToo supporter Amanda de Cadenet was originally due to give evidence in support of Heard on behalf of publisher News Group.

But the 48-year-old British TV presenter - who used to host The Word and The Big Breakfast - has made a statement in the US that she "felt she had been misled by Miss Heard in relation to Miss Heard's account of her relationship with Mr Depp and the violence between them."

Her statement was read out at London's High Court. Depp, 57, is suing NGN over a headline in The Sun labelling him a "wife beater" over allegations he was physically abusive to his then-wife Heard.

Depp says the claims are "sick and completely untrue".

The Pirates of the Caribbean star has said that he was never abusive to his ex-wife and has claimed that she was the abusive one in their relationship. He's accused her of putting out a cigarette in his face and throwing a vodka bottle that severed his finger, among other things. Heard, 34, denies his counter claims.

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C el e Newbrity s

Posh stress Victoria Beckham has admitted she often feels “like screaming” due to the stress of her fashion career and her family.

The former Spice Girls star, 46, said it felt like a “juggling act” putting up with the pressures of work alongside husband David, 45, and their kids Brooklyn, 21, Romeo, 17, Cruz, 15, and Harper, nine. Speaking in a new YouTube interview called Victoria Beckham's Secret to Balancing it All, she said: “Quite often I just feel like screaming, I’m not going to lie.

“I’m very lucky that I have such a great support system around me, but it is a juggling act when you’ve got a lot of children and you’re busy at work and you’ve got a husband.”

The designer insisted she has no time for negativity though when it comes to her eponymous fashion brand, or anything else in her life. She continued: “I always say dream big and then dream even bigger.”

Holiday peril Love Island star Laura Anderson has revealed she was the victim of an attempted mugging in Barcelona and felt too scared to leave her hotel room. The blonde beauty, 31, headed to the Spanish coastal town recently for a post-lockdown getaway with her new boyfriend Tom Brazier. After dinner, the pair went for a stroll to get some photos of the famous city. But she had a "gut feeling" that two men were watching them and her worst fears soon came true.

After hailing a taxi to head back to the hotel, one of the men stormed Tom - a former bodybuilder - from behind and tried to get his expensive watch off him.

But with some quick thinking from her, including loud swearing and whacking one of the men on the shoulder with her phone, Laura was able to scare off the would-be thieves. She opened up about the terrifying experience on her Instagram page.

Laura said: "Nothing like this has ever happened to me before — even when I worked for Emirates travelling alone — but to say if anyone goes to Barcelona or anywhere in Europe, the pickpockets are just rife.”

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Women V Wine When girls drink too much…

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling "woo hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We’ve suddenly decided that we want to kick someone’s arse and honestly believe we could do it too.

down every time a new song plays because "oh my God! I love this song!"

7. We’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.

8. We’ve suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that’s just because we can no longer taste the gin.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realise that we now look like we have been dragged through a gutter than the goddess we were just four hours ago.

5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them soooooooo much.

6. We get extremely excited and jump up and

OUR BILINGUAL TEAM ARE HERE TO HELP YOU Opening hours: 09.00 to 14.00

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91

Take Your Pick Let’s be honest, we all have a good old pick now and again. Little did I know that there were now titles for the different types of nose picking we engage in‌ Surprise Pickings When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

Autopick The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking. Also can mean automatic pick, the one you do when your not even thinking about it, at work, while talking to a co-worker, during a meeting....

Pick And Stick You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.

Kiddie Pick When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly

twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!

Making A Meal Out Of It You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.

Extra Pick When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you hit the jackpot! Excitement only equalled by winning the lottery.

Pipe Cleaner Pick The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.

92

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Random Jokes I was standing in a queue with my 7 year old son, behind a very large lady with an extremely huge bottom.

When her phone started to beep, my son says, “Watch out dad, she reversing!”

------------------------------------------------------------My mate was telling me that he had failed his exam in Aboriginal music.

I said “Didja redo it?”

------------------------------------------------------------A boy lost his job in a chip shop.

Volunteers Wanted English Speaking Email: 29094social@cruzroja.es

His dad goes to find out why.

The owner says “I found him out the back with a potato peeler up his bottom!”

The dad says “Can I see this potato peeler?”

The owner replied “No I’m afraid not, I sacked him as well!”

------------------------------------------------------------On electrician Paddy O’Sparks’ gravestone was written, Green to Earth, Brown to Live, Blue to bits! May he rest in pieces.

The Sentinella Bargain Boxes This size from just 20 euros per month +IVA Call: 664 210 468

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93

Why Am I Not Permitted To Build A Pool In My Garden?

One of the problems we have in these times of serious building restrictions in the countryside is selling country properties without a pool. Everyone wants their own pool and buyers look first at properties with pools. So why can’t we just build one?

When the Andalusian Government put a stop to random building on rural land to halt the increase of construction of houses, that were popping up all over the countryside, they made sure it included all residential-related building work, including an underground building. After all, that is what a swimming pool is. But there is little legislation on temporary, above ground pools, as where does one draw the line between outdoor furniture and an above ground pool? But most of the above ground pools just don’t look as good, and buyers feel this lowers the style and quality of the properties. This has been a major dilemma for a long time.

Maybe, just maybe, NOT ANY MORE! We

have been searching for a long time for a really, truly perfect alternative to an in-ground pool, something that is as nice as, if not BETTER than an in ground pool. And we think we have found it! We are so excited about it that we almost want to keep it a secret! These are stylish, beautifully finished, come in all sizes – AND they are not that expensive. There are many options, such as salt water versus chlorine, with steps incorporated into the unit, or with a ladder, and various colour and finishing shades.

Hopefully this will be a fabulous alternative to both vendors, who are struggling to sell due to the lack of a pool, and buyers, who can save money by buying a property cheaper, due to the lack of a pool, and installing one of these beautiful alternatives.

If you are one of those people, do pop in to see us and we can discuss further.

By Toni Waterman, Unspoilt Andalusia (see advertisement below)

GREAT OFFER Buy the case for just 12â‚Ź

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Selling by the case of 12 only - FREE DELIVERY Call Tony: 664 689 138

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95

New Normality Taking a tumble As if I hadn’t had enough of quarantine, I decided to impose some more on myself by breaking my humerus. I’ll leave the funny bone jokes to Tony Knight and his indomitable passion for the cheesy quip.

To cut a very undramatic story short, I took a head dive tumble, heard a crunch and realised everything that I touched with my right hand now felt like liquid. It was now time to try out Spanish healthcare.

Urgencias The times I’ve driven past this building, never thinking to be a customer. Now here I was, at reception. First thing to note, know what kind of patient you are. Do you have healthcare, E111 (for now) or is it travel insurance as you will be asked? I’m lucky enough to work here and so I pay into the system. However, my tarjeta de salud (health card) is yet another casualty of Covid, lost somewhere in the system between Canillas and home.

Sporting a fancy white wrist band like a festival goer, the wait begins. Like all free healthcare systems, there’ll be a wait. I was seen by triage, then a doctor, then X-rayed and, as suspected, a break or a proximal fracture…displaced. A specialist then decided to replace the displace and sternly advised to follow his every word for no pain. He was young and attractive, I was always going to follow his words. I was put in a cast of cartoonish proportions and told that surgery the following week might be preferable.

Given the heat of Andalucia in July, I didn’t need much convincing.

Here, a note about language and the fear of communication. I do speak passable Spanish but if I’m in pain, I tend towards gibberish.

Most professionals in the hospital have rudimentary or, if they’re in their early 30s have a B2 (A level) English. They might be shy, but ouch, FFS and noooooooo are pretty much universal. Use a phone App and never let fear of language be a barrier to seeking health advice. As it is, I’ve added to my vocabulary: sala de rayos (X-ray room), dolor (pain or ouch!) and fractura.

Ready if not so able The next day was another one at the hospital.

Armed with brief instructions, it was a bit like the Crystal Maze as we hunted the various departments. I was blood tested by a man in a mask, who left the room briefly, returning in full hazmat gear to Covid test me. He saw my puzzled expression at the sudden need to self protect and told me it was the rules.

I was told I was on the surgery list for Thursday, 48 hours away, not quite the following week.

Cultural differences Overall, the Spanish healthcare is very recognisable to the English, with a few differences. There’s less formality in places.

When the two surgeons and the anaesthetist couldn’t find nursing staff to lift me onto the operating table, they did it themselves to save time. The anaesthetist told me to prepare for my best dream ever and, as he placed the mask on my face, proceeded to play Europe’s The Final Countdown. I was giggling so much, I thought he’d administered laughing gas.

The wards were spacious with just 2 beds in each room. In Spain, the family play a huge role in recovery and assistance. One member is allowed to remain bedside 24/7. I was humbled by my neighbour: an elderly lady with dementia whose husband, easily in his late 70s, slept in a chair at his wife’s side for the two nights that I was there and would be there for at least five more. Her children and grandchildren all visited and it was clear, by their conversation, this was love not duty.

As I lay there, slightly dazed by the preceding week’s events, I reflected on the reason why quarantine had worked so successfully in Spain. People and families actually care deeply about life whatever anyone’s age or infirmity. Protecting that was crucial to combatting and still fighting a pandemic.

Written by Grimble

96

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Where Is It? Find the Cocker Spaniel

Last month’s answer on page 99

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97

Windsor & Eton Brewery: Beer Through The Year Windsor & Eton Brewery was founded during 2010 and now proudly possesses a Royal Warrant. Producing great classic and new beer styles, a good number of which are bottle conditioned, this brewery has a range of very impressive ales, that includes award winners and multi award-winning productions.

awards. Combinations of Saaz hops, Czech yeast and Pilsner malt produce this full-flavoured delight, which I found very refreshing.

KNIGHT of the GARTER Golden Ale: (3.8% vol). Described, on the label, as ‘Sunshine in a glass’ (I agree), this golden ale is brewed with a blend of hops from the New World. A citrus aroma greets the nasal senses, which follows, admirably, to the mouthfeel.

malts, this complex and noticeably rich IPA gained great interest from the outset. Superb, awesome and brilliant are some of the descriptions attributed to this beer.

GUARDSMAN Best Bitter: (4.2% vol).

Extremely popular, Guardsman is brewed utilising Fuggles and Goldings whole leaf hops to great advantage. This easy-drinking, smooth production, has wide appeal, with its copper colour and excellent taste. A favourite with numerous beer lovers.

WINDSOR KNOT Pale Ale: (4.5% vol).

Brewed originally to commemorate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, this beer uses Sovereign and Nelson Sauvin hops and has many supporters amongst pale ale devotees.

REPUBLIKA Craft Pilsner: (4.8% vol). This splendid craft beer is one of several productions, from the Windsor & Eton Brewery, which have won

CONQUEROR Black IPA: (5.0% vol).

Bringing together Cascade and Pacific Jade whole leaf hops, plus a blend of five speciality

WASTELAND Double IPA: (10.0% vol).

Belgian candi sugar is one of the ingredients for this Double IPA with ten different hops, that include some of the best of America and the New World. Another exceptional IPA, which certainly delivers on aroma, mouthfeel and the palate’s enjoyment, from the Windsor & Eton Brewery.

Other popular productions include Capital Dry-Hopped Lager and Treason West Coast IPA. Ordering is easy and beers are delivered via courier to anywhere in the UK. Visitors to the brewery are made very welcome.

Windsor & Eton Brewery, Duke Street, Windsor, Berkshire, SL4 1SE. Tel: 00 44 (0) 1753 854075 E-mail: sales@webrew.co.uk www.webrew.co.uk and on social media.

As always, Enjoy!

Trevor Langley

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es Chariti

What´s on in your area?

Volunteers needed. The Costa Animal Society needs your help, particularly with their efforts at the Sunday car boot markets in Nerja and Almuñecar. If you have some time, and especially if you own a 4x4 or other large vehicle, your assistance in transporting and selling goods on a Sunday morning would be much appreciated as both these markets help raise much needed funds to care for rescued animals. If you can assist CAS in any way call Wendy: 660271984 or Vera: 680 315880.

SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance.

If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to nerjaclub@yahoo.com The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: nerjaclub@yahoo.com http://www.americaninternationalclub.com Los Romanes Royal British Legion. Los Romanes branch has two venues. We meet weekly at The Asador Restaurant Puente Don Manuel, on Mon 12.00 – 1400 hrs. And on a Wed at midday at the Bar La Vega, Torre Del Mar. Our friendly group get together not only to raise funds for and support TRBL in Spain, but also meet to be with friends and have some fun, including quizzes, bingo, monthly lunches etc. You do not have to have served in the Armed Forces to become a member.

Interested? Then please Phone Branch Secretary Sue on 691 544 140 or just pop in for a chat.

Furniture shop, Torre del Mar is looking for volunteers who have a free morning or afternoon every week to help us to sell second hand furniture and attend to customers in the new store. Would you like to help us? Contact 952564910/671048304 voluntariado@cudeca.org PIPPA’S PAWPRINTS CHARITY SHOP Calle Antonio Jimenez No. 4b, behind the Bus Station and the Notary. Cards, bric-a-brac, bags, shoes and quality clothing at knock-down prices.

Now open from Tues to Sat 10.30am - 2pm.

622574174

Date Diasr For y

Every 2nd Wednesday in the month AAR monthly quiz at La Tasca. 3pm start. Opposite the police station, Torre del Mar. Call Shelia for details 640 328 051 Every Monday is quiz night at the Irish Rover, El Copo, Torre del Mar. Come and support local charities. Call 603 186 347 to reserve a table.

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 10am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Argentine Tango classes in Torrox: Wed 5pm 6pm Salón Pilates con Lorena Calle Deire, edificio fantasia, sótano 2 derecha, Torrox pueblo Mario Correa 649 59 55 94 mac1710@gmail.com Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners.

For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 The Nerja Players meet on 1st and 3rd Tues of the month between Oct and apr. Perfomances are rehearsed readings. Calle Castilla Perez 1, Nerja.

Look for the very large BLuE entrance door. We are between Salon de Juegos and a Supermarket.

Reservations on our website.

Email: admin@thenerjaplayers.com Move It To Music! dance fitness classes take place Saturdays at 11am annually from mid October to Easter, at Nerja’s Millenium Wellness Center in Pasaje Milenio 3 (just off the far entrance to Carabeo car park). Gentle exercise and simple dance moves set to catchy pop tunes. Ideal for beginners and very popular with the 50-plus age group. Enquiries: WhatsApp/tel 675 846 217 / moveittomusic@yahoo.co.uk Fellowship of Jesus Christ the King Whether you live in, or are visiting the Nerja area, we would be delighted to welcome you to the Fellowship of Jesus Christ the King. Our meetings are characterised by uplifting songs and relevant sermons and a modern but reverent service. Why not come along to praise God and meet and make new friends, every Sun at 10.30. Prayer meetings on Wed at 11.00. Pasaje San Miguel, Nerja, Email: fojctk@gmail.com www.facebook.com/FOJCTK

PLEASE CHECK TO SEE IF EVENTS ARE TAKING PLACE

99

Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts The Top Ten Countries with the Highest Marriage Rate...

1. Antigua and Barbuda

10,9 Top ,8

7,6,5

,

2. Maldives 3. Barbados

Tens

,4,3 ,2, 1,

The Top Ten Countries with the Highest Divorce Rate...

4. Liechtenstein

1. Maldives

5. Cyprus

2. Belarus

6. Seychelles

3. The United States

7. South Africa

4. Cuba

8. Jamaica

5. Estonia 6. Panama

9. Ethiopia

7. Puerto Rico

10. Iran

8. Ukraine 9. Russia 10. Antigua and Barbuda

Quiz Answers 1. Hanoi 2. Vet 3. 189 4. Ethan Hunt 5. Skye 6. Abu Dhabi 7. Elisabeth Beresford 8. 180 degrees 9. 18 10. Norway

Riddle Answers:

Last Month’s Crossword Answers

1. A candle 2. Are you asleep yet?

3. There aren’t any - it’s a one-story house 4. A promise 5. Age What Is It? Answer A last name. Were you thinking of another answer?!

Find Car Answer

100

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n o i t a m Infor

: 091 2 6 Police Local y : 952 540 6662 it 0 4 ic 5 r t Elec ater : 952 W

...In our own random order!

Bus Stations Torre del Mar Call: 952 559 100 Malaga Call: 952 350 061 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104 Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 Weekly Market days (mornings only) Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche Wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa Thursdays: Velez Malaga, Torre del Mar & Frigilana fridays: Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez, Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Malaga ITV Call: 902 702 727 www.itvcita.com Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 952 048 804 Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272 Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Consulates UK 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland 952 475 108 Germany 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 france 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Chemists www.bit.ly/dutychemists

2 ia : 06 Guardlance : 061 Ambu : 080 fire

Telefonica Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004 Church services in English The Anglican Parish of Nerja & Almuñécar Services at Iglesia San Miguel (St Michael's Church), Nerja every Sunday at 12 noon and at Capilla de Nuestra Señora del Carmen (Fisherman's Chapel), Almuñécar every Sunday at 9.30 a.m. (except during August). There is also a short service of Holy Communion on Wednesdays at 9.30 a.m. in the Church Shop, Calle Málaga, Nerja. Priest in Charge: Father Nigel Thomas. Tel: Church House 952 521 339 Church Shop 952 522 460.

Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sun Tel: 952 219 396 Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sun 10.30. Tel 952 407 050 Anglican communion. Torre del Mar - St Barnabas Church (IERE) Spanish episcopal services in English at 11am, Morning Prayer 1st and 3rd Sundays. Holy Communion 2nd and 4th Sundays. Tel. 952 030 461 (Priest). Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Avda Moscatel 1 "I", (Gardens of Viña Malaga/ Antigua Casa Del Viña).

Sunday Anglican Church of St. Barnabas (IERE) 11am. Morning prayer 1st & 3rd Sundays, Holy Communion 2nd & 4th Sundays.

Torre del Mar Evangelical Church Torre del Mar Presbyterian Church (Evangelical) meets for worship each Sunday at 11.00am in Legends Bar, C/ Don Cipriano Maldonado Jiménez, Torre del Mar. Email info@torredelmarchurch.es Torre del Mar: International Church Málaga/ Cornerstone International Church. Meets Sun @ 11:30am & Wed @ 6:30 pm for Bible Study. Calle Solera 2, Bajos,Torre del Mar Evangelical Church - El Puente Christian Fellowship Sunday Worship 11am - Bible Study Wed 2-4pm. AA - Wed 7pm. Charity shop/books open Wed, Thurs, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. We meet at El Puente Christian Fellowship premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobilaria, Cruce de Periana Puente don Manuel. 952 117 145 or 952 518 185 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

Taxis Torre: 653 917 004, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 653 917 004, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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‘The 'Big Cats' We are a group of Jaguar enthusiasts living in Andalucia. We have a meeting each month for a meal and a good old chat about our cars. Contact Philip Wray on 669 434 457 JEC.CostaDelSol@gmail.com Join El Valle! El Valle is one of Axarquia’s most successful and longest running social clubs based in Lake Vinuela area. We meet on the first Mon of each month (not Aug) at Punto de Encuentro Asador, Puente don Manuel) At our monthly meetings you can find out about our wide range of activities that range from the cultural and gastronomic to quizzes, games and films. We also organise days out and short trips away. www.el-valleasociacion.com LADIES WOT LUNCH 2nd Monday of each month except July & Aug. Restaurante el Trapiche, Velez Malaga. 1pm for 1:30 start, finishing 4 to 4:30.

Enjoy a 4 course meal with wine for just 11€ with a raffle included and an interesting 20 minute talk on a variety of subjects. patriciagabbitas@gmail.com Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar. Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Open Tues 11am - 1pm appointment only. Friday 11am - 1pm.

Sorry, we cannot accept donations of book, clothes etc at the moment. For further information and bookings please contact the Centre, Torre del Mar Tel.952 543 334 E-mail: luxmundi@lux-mundi.org Website: www.lux-mundi.org We would also like to invite you to become a Friend of Lux Mundi, please call in the Centre for more information. Friday mornings - Coffee morning 11am - 1pm. A great opportunity to meet friends and make new ones.

The Nerja Philosophical Group For info please call Tom Bryson on 699 170 931 Trumps Bridge We are a very friendly international Bridge Club playing Duplicate twice weekly on Mon and Thurs afternoons at 3.00pm. We play at El Zoco, Calle Neptuno, Nerja. www.bridgewebs.com/trumpsnerja The Nerja History Group for anyone interested in Spanish History. We have Lectures and trips each month. Meetings are held at the Nerja Museum, above the underground car park, starting at 11.00am and finish approx. 12.30pm. Please email: nerjahistorygroup@yahoo.com

101

What’s O n Phoenix Club We now meet every Tues between 12 and 2pm at Bar La Vega, Avenida Andalucia and is sandwiched between the small Mercadona Supermarket and the Repsol Garage on the way out of Torre towards Malaga. Call Gail 951 067 723 www.phoenixsocialclub.co.uk Short Mat Bowls is now operating in the hotel Jimesol, C/ Chaparil, Nerja on Mon and Thurs afternoons from 1.45pm to 4.15pm. New members welcome. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579 for more details. www.shortmatbowlsnerja.com Golf: TOGS (Torrox Golf Society) If you would like a friendly but competitive game of golf each Sunday morning at Anoreta, then why not join TOGS, possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa. Email: torroxgolfsociety@gmail.com or call Captain: Bob Bennett on 691 571 570 International Choir recruiting singers. Would you like to join a choir? We are inviting new singers to become members of the local, long-established choir, Coral Coraxalia under the leadership of Eusebio Pita. Rehearsals Thurs 17.30–8pm in the room under Inmobiliaria Maroma Estate Agents (on the left at the crossroads in Puente Don Manuel A402) For more info call 689 111 352 email eucorax@hotmail.es RBL Benajarafe Branch meet every Fri from 12.00 at the Restaurante Mediterraneo situated on the coast road in Benajarafe. We enjoy bingo, quizzes, various entertainment & monthly outings.

We have an excellent weekly lunch & welcome new/existing RBL members. Tel: 653108415 benajaraferblspainsouth@gmail.com Colmenar Social Club is a group whose aim is to promote friendship and assistance to all our members. We meet every Wed from 12.00pm at Arco Del Sol Hotel, Colmenar on A356 KM9. A great venue to enjoy a variety of activities such as wine tasting, talks, cooking demonstrations, monthly lunches, car sharing days out, theatre visits and a monthly bowling group.

Tel: Carol on 623 125 656 RBL - Nerja meets twice a month for lunch - on the 3rd Thur at the Al Andalus Hotel, Maro. Everyone is welcome to join us. Booking is essential. Please contact Kim on tel: +44 7988029001 or email: kim_bowe1@hotmail.com.

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) : a h a Jokes h 3 men were captured by female savages and are told they will lose their willies in a manner that is related to their jobs.

The first was a lumberjack so his was going to be chopped off.

The second was a butcher so would be sliced off.

The third began laughing uncontrollably. The females asked what was so funny.

He said “I work for Dyson!”

------------------------------------------------------------After 7 years of medical training and hard work, my friend has been struck off the register.

He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession that he loves.

What a waste of time, training and money.

Nice guy and an absolutely brilliant vet!

------------------------------------------------------------Liverpool fans celebrating outside Anfield are kicking off with police.

Local police chief Dibble has said “This is disgraceful! I’m not having this every 30 years” ------------------------------------------------------------A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much does it cost?"

A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

------------------------------------------------------------A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.

He said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you'll live to a nice ripe old age."

So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.

When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great grandchildren ...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

------------------------------------------------------------(Q) How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

(A) Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

------------------------------------------------------------(Q) What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?

(A) Hot cross bunnies!

------------------------------------------------------------An old man was convalescing after an operation.

When the nurse came along he asked her, “Are my testicles black?”.

The nurse looked a bit shocked but lifted up his cover and had a little look and a feel. The old man said, “That was very nice nurse but are my test results back”?

------------------------------------------------------------Eddie's first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal.

The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"

"A cat!" said Suzy.

"Good job! Now, what's this animal?"

"A dog!" said Ricky.

"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mum calls your dad."

"A horny bastard!" called out Eddie.

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103

Jokes h a ha A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar.

They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss...and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they're lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks, smiling, 'Well, how was it for you?' The man says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf.'

------------------------------------------------------------A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

Two guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered.

The first guy said, ''Hey, I'll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building and land right here next to you!''

Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the 2nd guy replied, ''YOU'RE ON!'' So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building and came right back to the same spot. ''WOW,'' screamed the 2nd guy, ''That was incredible. Do it again!''

So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ''That is remarkable. Do it one more time!" ''Ok,'' said the first guy, ''But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it."

The second man agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ''Your turn,'' he said.

So the 2nd guy stepped up to the window. ''This is easy. He did it, so can I!" The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window.

He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact.

Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer. The bartender remarked, ''You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman!''

------------------------------------------------------------As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

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s e g a P e l Puzz Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1. What is the capital of Vietnam?

2. What profession do the letters MRCVS after a name refer?

3. What is seven-eighths of 216?

4. What is the character name of Tom Cruise in the Mission Impossible films?

5. Which is the largest island in the Inner Hebrides?

1. I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I? 2. What question can you never answer yes to?

3. There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

4. What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

6. Which is the capital city of the United Arab Emirates?

7. Which British author created the Wombles?

8. The internal angles of a triangle will always total how many degrees?

9. How many tournament grass courts are there at Wimbledon All England Club?

10. Which European country has the longest coastline?

5. I am something people love or hate. I change peoples appearances and thoughts. If a person takes care of them self I will go up even higher. To some people I will fool them.

To others I am a mystery. Some people might want to try and hide me but I will show. No matter how hard people try I will Never go down. What am I? 6. Only one colour, but not one size, Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies.

Present in sun, but not in rain, Doing no harm, and feeling no pain.

What is it?

Answers on page 99

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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105

Puzzle P ages

Across

Crossword

Down

1 Confess (4,5)

1 Look smart (3,1,4)

8 Spartan slave (5)

2 Malevolence (6)

9 Alleviate (7)

3 Imprison (4)

10 Ineffectual office holder (4,4)

4 Keen (12)

11 Step of ladder (4) 13 Clergyman (6) 14 Amiable (6) 16 Bacchanalia (4) 17 Spray can (8) 19 Huge (7) 20 Crockery (5) 21 The past (9)

5 Ninety year old (12) 6 Talented youngster (5,7) 7 International sports meeting (7,5) 12 Maritime driving seat (4) 15 Listen to (6) 18 Opening bet (4) 20 Coquettish (3)

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s e p o c s o Hor

by Juanita Banana of Banana Moon Yoga Therapy, Studio, Travel & Retreats ARIES: March 21-April 20 You’re directing all the moves for the first part of August with dreams springing alive on the 5th and 6th. By the 7th you’re happy to shut the door on whatever doesn’t belong in your space.

Later in the month, face some previously avoided truths - it’s easier than you think TAURUS: April 21-May 21 Perhaps you’re tempted to keep your head in the sand and stay at home – do that on the 1st and 2nd but from the 3rd to 14th August get out, see and be seen! Join the party and follow your senses. On the 15th take a deep breath and plan for the ongoing story GEMINI: May 22-June 21 You like to get things started but not necessarily finish them as there are plenty of people willing to pick up where you leave off.

General communication gets easier on the 17th and 18th, but avoid touchy subjects with close friends and family members during the latter half of the month CANCER: June 22-July 22 Be open-minded and listen to opinions with which you don’t agree without arguing. Some unaddressed issues catch up with you on the 5th or 6th for which you should seek a permanent solution. Get in touch with glorious truths and your major ambitions LEO: July 23-August 23 The 5th and 6th are about philanthropy when you’ll do anything to ensure happy endings for everyone. From the 10th, turn a mistake to your advantage. Embrace your natural leadership qualities and help people bond and find strength VIRGO: August 24-September 22 By the 2nd week of August you’re ready for bargains, rewards, deep sensory experiences and social setups. You move at the centre of a crowd with a tribal feeling and learn major life lessons in a supportive environment. Laugh!

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 Have fun with friends and share the spoils.

Between the 5th and 9th there’s a discussion about whose questions you should answer and what feelings you should own but with plenty of delicious mystery by the 10th, there’s no ambiguity.

Keep all bad guys at arm’s length SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 Your dreams kick into gear on the 3rd, when events finally move in your favour. After a few communication problems, you become a social mover and shaker, on top form from the 17th to 27th. Coat personal desires with a thick layer of elegant behaviour SAGITTARIUS: November 22 - December 21 Be open to new things and paddle against any drift that takes you away from where you want to be going. Emotions buoy you up to grab opportunities. Temptation might lead you to a little self-indulgence but you gain perspective by meeting someone with greater needs than your own CAPRICORN: December 22 - January 20 You’re optimistic and ahead of schedule with things going your way. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket though - save a little something for later – perhaps a little downtime between the 10th and 16th. People will cooperate on the 17th and 18th, finally bringing what you truly deserve AQUARIUS: January 21 - February 19 Don’t settle on a quick, safe solution - you have space to explore all options. On the 10th and 11th you can back away and, taking care, do what pleases you. Expect a complicated week between the 12th and 18th when there’s too much information and many demands PISCES: February 20 - March 20 Anticipation and uncertainty quickly give way to satisfaction. Hijinks, shenanigans and general tomfoolery persist until the 9th, after which you need to keep a straight face and focus.

Celebrate your strengths and passions from the 12th to 14th and beware of taking on anyone else’s problems

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The Sent inella Paginas

We can Call toda list your Busines s y on 664 210 468 here from just 5 e or Email : sales@th uros a month!! esentine lla.com

ADVERTISING AGENCY lDigitalleria Website Design and more offers best international service. Faster premium hosting, better and safer Software than open-source CMS. Call 00491788082716 on Whatsapp or 951230255 or Email info@digitalleria.com www.digitalleria.com

AIR CONDITIONING lfor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar lPolar Air for Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician. Call Peter 655 211 192 or visit www.polarair.eu lCHS Cooling and Heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar, Heating and swimming pool heat pumps.

Call: 655 791 167 Email: chsspain@gmail.com lConnect Air Conditioning. Supplying the latest in heat pump technology at the best prices. Contact Sean: 639 738 624 www.connectairconditioning.com Email: connect.aircon@hotmail.com lCool Solutions all leading brands of air conditioning supplied and fitted, servicing only â‚Ź30 per unit. Heat pumps for pools and heating.

Occupancy sensors supplied and fitted.

Tel: 693 047 935 or 625 822 410.

Email: coolsolutions.es@gmail.com.

AWNINGS lAwnings - Blinds - Mosquito Screens, Glass Curtain Repairs, Replacement of plastic jointing strips, New Installations, Roller Shutters / Repairs.

New installations, Conversion from manual to motorised. Call Julian: 655 825 931

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE lThe Hair & Beauty Studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 654 897 410

BOOKSHOPS lPasatiempo Calle Infantes 32, Torre del Mar, 952 543 703.

Email: libreriapasatiempo@hotmail.com

BLINDS lSolar blinds, ideal for large glazed areas to keep the view but also giving privacy and stopping maximum amounts of heat/glare and fading of furnishings. ian@solarshadetinting.com Speak to Ian 644 54 61 76

BUILDERS lLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application & construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 info@ltconstruction.es www.ltconstruction.es

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The Sentinella Paginas BUILDERS (Continued) lJohn Housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414.

Email: housbyjohn@gmail.com

CARPENTERS lAll Types of Carpentry Jobs Undertaken by time served carpenter. Kitchens, wardrobes, locks.

Phone with your requirements. Andrew 660 597 894 lQuality Bespoke Wooden furniture. Your design brought to life. any size, colour or design for homes, gardens and businesses. www.weswoodwork.com / Telephone: 679 171 008

CAR ACCESSORIES lWindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal and certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect children and pets.

Be cool. Enjoy the sun, don’t suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176 / 644 546 176

CAR RENTAL lNo hidden cost, delivery along the coast, personal meet & greet service at the airport with no queues or bus journeys. www.quickcarhiremalaga.com quickcarhiremalaga@gmail.com 669 899 065 / Whatsapp available

CARE HOMES lCasa Klein. A better place to live. Scandinavian convelescent and retirement home. Situated on a hilltop overlooking mountains and the sea in Velez Malaga. Tel: 952 50 21 30 Mob: 679 167 168 www.casaklein.com

CHIMNEY SWEEP lfireplaces - Inserts - freestanding log burners and pellet burners. For your annual service Call or Whatsapp: Vaclav 600 663 648 Email: vmatousek6@gmail.com

CHIROPODISTS lRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. Over 25yrs exp NHS & private.

Call: 636 866 715

CLEANING lUltra Clean, Clean & Changeovers, key holding, house-keeping, laundry, window cleaning, gardening etc.. Call Pammy: 674 597 984 Torre del Mar area

lSqueaky Clean all types of household cleaning undertaken, key holding, changeovers and laundry.

House and pet sitting. 20 years experience in Spain.

Call Paula 622 939 742

COMPUTER SERVICES lSteve’s Computer and Laptop Service.

Providing a thorough health check/repair for corrupted software and removal of virus/malware infections. Sales of used/refurbished laptops at competitive prices. Call Steve in Torrox: 634347055 Email: sfmay@hotmail.com

COMPUTERS lDavid fenton: Computer Help Specialist. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. House calls, remote assistance or bring it to me. Help and impartial advice with all types of technology. Tel 952 549 607, Mob 654 899 976

COUNSELLING lKestrel Counselling. Professional, confidential, qualified counselling service. Skype or online. Experienced with all age groups including children. Tel: 636 588 697 www.kestrelcounselling.com Email: kestrelcounselling@gmail.com

CURRENCY TRANSFERS lCurrencies Direct. For all your currency transfer requirements; excellent exchange rates, 100% no transfer fees or hidden charges – Contact the Nerja office on 952 906 581 or email nerja@currenciesdirect.com

DAMP PROOFING lElectro-OS S.L. Immediately effective. 20 Year guarantee. Tel: 958 656 560 / 619 666 363 www.electro-os.com info@Electro-os.com

DECORATION INTERIOR/EXTERIOR lTejidos Belen For all your soft furnishings.

Specialists in cushions, pillows, accessories, interior & exterior decoration. We repair your sofas & terrace furniture. Tel: 952531732 / 650964624 Avd. Andalucia No.34 (next to Supermarket La Plaza)Torrox Costa

DENTISTRY lClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: info@clinicaeuropa.eu British dentist, 24hrs response Call: 648 203 157

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The Sentinella Paginas lDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at competitive prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German and Spanish Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com

DRAIN CLEARANCE lDrains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out.

Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 lAt Your Service Plumbing, Electrical, Prop.

Maintenance Torre del Mar/Puente don Manuel area. Ex. Corgi reg. with over 35 years experience.

Tel: 951 066 064 / 692 330 420 Email: casaflores45@yahoo.es lDrain & Leak Solutions Your underground plumbers! High pressure water jetting, Drain tracing CCTV, Septic tank problems & installations, baths, sinks & toilets unblocked, leak detection & repairs.

Fully qualified and fully legal. No call out fee!!

Tel: 951 310 111 / 651 111 005 www.drain&leak.com

ELECTRICIANS lSparkinspain - Electrical installations & maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga & inland to Competa and Frigiliana.Tel Colin 951 242 449/Mob 666707297 sparkinspain@rocketmail.com Web: www.english-electrician-nerja.com

ELECTRIC SUPPLIERS lDo you pay too much for your electric? Contact Daniel from AxarEnergy today on: 662 114 241.

More than 1000 clients have already changed over and there is no cost to you for switching!

Email: daniel@axarenergy@gmail.com

ESTATE AGENTS lBuy A Home Spain Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com lAxarquia Properties S.L Est. 2001. Office: 952 436 781 Cta. almeria 194, Benajarafe Email: info@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.com lfleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja.

952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, www.fleming-properties.com lAndalucia Real Estate (Belgian management)- sales and renovations since 2005 – Axarquia area – Dutch/Belgian/English market. Av. De Los Cipreses 16, Frigiliana. 0034-952 53 44 81 or 0034-666 82 17 96 info@andaluciarealestate.eu www.andaluciarealestate.eu

lCountry Properties 29754 Competa - Málaga Plaza Almijara, 21 & Avd. Constitución, 33 Tel.: +34 952 51 61 78 29770 Torrox - Málaga Calle Elisa Ortigosa, 7 Tel.: +34 952 53 91 25 29740 Torre del Mar Málaga Avda. Andalucia, 32B Tel.: +34 952 54 18 86 / 654 693 680 www.countryproperties.net sales@countryproperties.net lAndalucia4you.net Advice on the entire buying-selling process including property management and reforms. Avda. Andalucia 125, Caleta de Velez. Call: 952 72 08 32 or whatsapp 634 35 70 26 Email: contact@andalucia4you.net www.andalucia4you.net lImmotions Real Estate, selling to Belgian, Dutch, English & Scandinavian clients. We offer; one go-to person, renovation guidance, after-sales service and much more! Call +34/654 899 531 or +34/656 823 048 Website: immotionsrealestate.com E-mail: info@immotionsrealestate.com

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS lSpanish Management Vinuela (next to the Farmacia) Sales, Rentals, Management, Holidays. Professional advice with 14 years experience in Spain.

Tel 666 135 516 / 618 940 829 Email: spanishmanagement1@gmail.com Web: www.spanishmanagement.com lZalia properties, long established rental agents, Lake Viñuela area. Car hire, Pool, Villa cleans etc. El Cruce de Periana 4, Edf. Alzabel, Semisotano 2, Alcaucin www.zaliaproperties.net 952 519 718 / 663 093 782, 696 206 158

FUNERAL DIRECTORS lLa Esperanza funeral Parlour.

Funeral Directors with their own funeral parlours and crematorium with more than 50 years experience in the Malaga province. Telephone 952 50 15 81, 24 hours a day 365 days a year (in case of death/emergencies)

FURNITURE lCudeca Hospice Charity Shop – Torre del Mar C/ Infante 21 – Edf. Jamaica Bajo Tel: 663 083 273 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 / Mon- Fri 17:00 – 20.00.

Nerja C/ Almirante Carranza 15 Tel: 663 083 503 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 www.cudeca.org

GARDENING lRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems.

Tel: 634 431 099

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The Sentinella Paginas GARDEN FURNITURE lDe Tropen - Specialist in garden furniture, 13.000m2, all models in stock. www.detropen.es Location: Autovía del Mediterraneo A-7 (Exit 272), 29700 Velez Malaga, Entrance behind Repsol gasoline station.

Tel. 642 651 074

GARDENING & POOLS lGarden & Pool Service, German gardener, landscaping, property maintenance, pool maintenance, boat servicing. Speaks German, English & Spanish. Good rates. All areas.

Tel: 691 526 394

HANDYMAN SERVICES lAxarquia Handyman Services, Flat-pack assembly & installation specialist, shelving, blinds, painting and decorating, pool maintenance, general DIY. Or just an extra pair of hands.

Phone or Whatsapp Bill: 617 61 29 16 or Email: bsacbill@gmail.com (Based near Lake Vinuela)

HEALTH & BEAUTY lWeight Control - Herbalife Independent Distributor, Bea Savory, 665 118 607 beasav24@gmail.com (business opportunity also available)

HEALTH SHOPS lRincón Natural Nerja: natural remedies, organic food, superfoods, natural skincare products, spelt husk pillows, essential oils, incense & feng shui crystals. Alternative therapies: personalised weight control coaching, naturopath consultance etc. C/ Carretera 1, in front of Supersol, Nerja.

Tel. 952 523 503 ONLINE-SHOP for Europe www.rinconnatural.com lHigh Grade Medical Cannabis Oils for sale - helps people with Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Pain, Diabetes, Epilepsy, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma. Prices from €30/60ml 6%CBD. Magy's Garden Grow Av.Andalucia 106, Caleta de Velez Tel: 952 511 857 magysgardengrow@hotmail.com

HEATING lRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside.

Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742, sscharler@gmx.de, www.redwell.com

INSURANCE lGPS Insurance Services - For all your Insurance needs (Personal & Business) Check out our easy to navigate website to request quotes www.gpsinsuranceservices.com email: admin@gpsinsuranceservices.com Tel/Whatsapp: 722 708 615 lLinea Directa, Car insurance starts from 194€.

Best prices and best cover. Car, motorcycle, home and vehicle fleet insurance. Call: 952 147 834 www.lineadirecta.com lLiberty Seguros The Expats No. 1 choice for insurances. Avda. Andalucia, 61 Blq 1, Local E, Torre del Mar. Call: 913 017 883 / 617 967 668 Email: patricia.camps@exclusivos.libertyseguros.es FB: liberty.seguros.expats

KENNELS AND CATTERIES lResidencia Cantalobos the Pet Hotel in La Herradura, offers the highest standards of care for your pets. Call Now - Tel: +34 603 739 886. www.valleverdeanimalrescue.org email: valleverdeanimalrescue@hotmail.com Facebook: Cantalobos Pet Hotel lHome from Home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels, just lots of exercise, fun & cuddles. Also pet paw casting & bespoke animal sculptures in cement & needle felting.

Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com lSheila’s Cattery - Small cattery ‘just for cats’ in the Riogordo/Benamagosa countryside. We treat and care for your cats as our own.

Tel: +34 643 635 617 www.sheilascattery.com Facebook: sheilascattery

KITCHENS lIdecocina, Perfecting quailty, price and service since 1980. Design and fitting all types of kitchens and all styles, including accessories and electrical appliances. 952 541 895 C/Los Prados, 4 Torre del Mar. www.idecocina.com

LANGUAGES lTrilingo Idiomas is a British run language academy based in Velez-Malaga offering English and Spanish to Expats, from beginners to advanced – call Mark or Donna on: 951 768 175 / 679 792 329

l S S C 9

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The Sentinella Paginas LAWYERS lCS Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, 952 697 004 Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (in front of Mercadona). Torre del Mar, 951 832 130 Calle Rioja, 69, Edificio Salares, local A. (Near the Bus Station). Free initial consultation, Email: info@cslawyers.es / www.cslawyers.es lAxarquia Solicitors 15 years helping expats and non-residents –Offices in Nerja & Velez-Málaga.

Call: 952 901 225 for a free no obligation appointment. mail@axarquiasolicitors.com l De Cotta Law Spanish Abogados & English Lawyers. Consultations and advice on all legal matters. Conveyancing specialists. www.decottalaw.com. Call us on 952 527 014 or email info@decottalaw.net

MOTORBIKE RENTALS lRoyal Motorbike Tours Fun and adventure on a Royal Enfield 500 Classic motorcycle. Half and full day tours along the gorgeous back roads of Andalucia. Book now WhatsApp (+34) 652 200 702 *Motorcycle licence is mandatory. www.royalmotorbiketours.com

METALWORK lMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed. We support the Axarquia Animal Rescue Charity.

Andy: 676 719 066 Email: sainbena@hotmail.com

MOBILITY PRODUCTS lBlue Badge Mobility.S.L Hire & Sales of Mobility Scooters, Wheelchairs, Bathroom aids, Toilet Aids, Stair Lifts, Long term rentals, Best prices on the Costa. Quality Service. Contact Gary Or Sara 952967015/635445279 www.bluebadgemobility.com

MOSQUITO/FLY SCREENS lMosquito Screens made to measure & repairs.

Plus nets for your pets too with reinforced dog flap.

Call: 674 617 379. No call out fee!

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS lRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician.

Contact 633 287 190.

OPTICIANS lHeiko by Heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

lOpticas Perea – Optical & Audio Centre.

C/Santa Margarita, 15, Torre del Mar. Tel: 951 241 410 Email: info@opticasperea.es or visit our website www.opticasperea.es We speak English, German, French and Spanish.

PAINTING & DECORATING lProfessional Painting & Decorating. All aspects; internal, external, paint effects, murals, paper hanging, furniture, kitchen doors etc... Tradesman with 35 years experience.

MPServices WhatsApp 669 330 076

PARAGLIDING lParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfil your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years exp. without risk, over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of a beach bar. www.parapentegranada.info

PLUMBERS lAndy Mann UK Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: andymann_genesis@yahoo.co.uk

lSur Integral for all your plumbing or electrial needs. Also solar panels & air conditioning.

Call: 627 262 624 / 679 313 215 surintegral.jl@gmail.com lEnglish/Spanish Plumber Over 30 years experience, trained and qualified in England.

All plumbing work undertaken. For a fast and reliable service. Call José on: 638 609 906 lPlumbing by Chris, repairs, replacement and reforms. Est. since 1982. Call Chris: 674 617 379.

No call out fee!

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES lInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email: sales@printerink.es

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE lAll Mainenance for Your Property Garden maintenance, Clearance and Construction.

Interior and Exterior Painting, Pool Cleaning Service etc... Covering all areas. Call: 634 340 706

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The Sentinella Paginas PROPERTY RENTALS lBuy A Home Spain C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com

REMOVALS lTransportation to UK to Spain to UK. Whole van loads or single items. Good rates. Regular trips.

Also local removals. Call Graham: 620 353 594 Email: vgcasacolor@gmail.com lTony Roam Removals 15 years To & Fro Spain to UK. ES: 636 393 542 / UK: 07973 362 003 Email: tonyroam@btconnect.com www.euroam.co.uk lAlcala Transport, Fully Legal, Spanish registered Transport/Removals Company. Operating locally for over 10 years. We run two vans twice per month to and from the UK/Europe. Call Colin for a no obligation quote on 0034 608 085 700 or 0044 7936886822 lVamosvan.com for all your removal, transportation or man and van requirements. Fully insured and legal, Call: 683 592 449 (Spain) 07378 89 89 90 (UK) Email: dayn@vamosvan.com / www.vamosvan.com

RENT A CAR lRent a Car Estrella Rent Delivery and collection at Malaga airport or in your location.

Automatic cars. Unlimited kilometers, full insurance, VAT and additional driver included. 952 511 209 www.estrellarent.com / estrellarentweb@gmail.com lTransauto Rent A Car Malaga Our cars are delivered at the airport parking. Unlike other companies where you have to wait 30 minutes for a mini bus to collect you. No refuelling service fee. www.transauto.es Tel: 952 105 050

RESTAURANTS lTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 lTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 lIndian Palace Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: indianpalacealcaucin@gmail.com www.indianpalacealcaucin.blogspot.com

lBuon Gusto Ristorante - Pizzeria, Paseo Maritimo, Torre del Mar Tel: 951 70 28 33 Comercial Centro Rincon De La Victoria Tel: 952 97 86 04

SATELLITE T.V. lTotal Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com

SAILING lforce 4 Sailing, as featured on "A New Life in the Sun" offer 3, 4 and 5 hour all inclusive private sailing charters from Marina del Este. Contact Iain or Amanda on +34 605 302 358 or +44 7847 887 931 Email: info@force4sailing.com www.force4sailing.com

SAILING SCHOOLS lforce 4 Sailing, are the only RYA Training Centre on the Costa Tropical who can offer sailing courses from the coveted Yachtmaster® Training Syllabus.

Tel: +34 605 302 358 or +44 7847 887 931.

Email: info@force4sailing.com www.force4sailing.com

SOLICITORS lDel Prado & Partners, specialists in many areas of Spanish Law. Call: 952 52 72 74 / 952 52 17 47 www.delpradoandpartners-es.com lBest Law Office in Law Axarquia Area. Professional legal and tax services at affordable rates. Free quotations and consultations.

Offices in Nerja and Velez-Malaga.

Tel: 952 901 225 Email:mail@axarquiasolicitors.com

BOOK A LISTING ADVERT ON THESE PAGES

ONLY 60 euros per year!!! *Choose Own heading *Max. 30 words *Up to 3 Language Flags To RESERVE YOUR SPACE CALL: 664 210 468

Need Help Attracting New Business?

Your advert will be seen by thousands of readers throughout the Axarquia area; Benajarafe - Torre del Mar - Caleta de Velez - Velez Malaga Algarrobo Costa - El Morche - Torrox Costa - Torrox Pueblo Torrox Park - Nerja - Burriana - Maro - Frigiliana Puente don Manuel - Vinuela - Colmenar - Competa - Maro Sayalonga - Canillas de Albaida - Sedella - Archez Canillas de Aceituno - Periana - Benamargosa - Trapiche Small price to pay for ADVERTISING THAT WORKS!

Adverts from as little as 5 euros per month + iva Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com STORAGE/PARKING lParking El Llano Caravans/Boats storage & General storage 24hr security, from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468 lPersonal Storage, fully insured with CCTV security. Secure storage / easy recovery / discount for bulk quantities. Prices from 14€ per m3, 5€ per suitcase (per month). Call: 682 525 106. Poligono Castillo Alto 66, Nerja. 150 metres behind Lidl on right.

SWIMMING POOLS lPool & Garden Service, German gardener, landscaping, property maintenance, pool maintenance, boat servicing. Speaks German, English & Spanish. Good rates. All areas.

Tel: 691 526 394

TAXIS l24 Hour Taxi - English speaking. Call Javi on 653 917 004 lThetransfercompany.com - Malaga airport transfers at reliable prices. More than 10 years in passenger transportation. Check the website for prices or call: 667 063 087 bookings@thetransfercompany.com

VETS

lPet Vet Clinic La Herradura, Vaccinations, X-Ray, Dentistry, Operations, Pet Shop & More... C/Alhambra Nº3, La Herradura. Tel: 609 977 564 We speak: English, German, Swedish, Finnish & Spanish

VILLA CARE lAll Your Need Met & Looked After By Us. We offer cleans, pool cleaning, maintenance, gardening & key holding from Inland Axarquia to Nerja, any area considered. Est. 2003. Refs avail.

Jane 666720732 / Andrew 660597894

WEBSITE DESIGN lWebsite design, graphic design and logos.

SEO, hosting, branding, & facebook marketing. For businesses and individuals on the Costa del Sol and Andalucia - Call Tom Lumsden Call: 625 842 780 Email: tom@tomlumsden.es

WINDOW TINTING lMobile service itv legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts, stop fading, heat, glare, save money on cooling make living in the sun comfortable. Call: 644 546 176 ian@solarshadetinting.com

WILL WRITING lwww.britishwills.com / 951 247 255 admin@britishwills.com British Wills & UK. Lasting Powers of attorney for all UK Nationals who live abroad or who own property in Spain affiliated with: ‘The Society of Will Writers’ UK.

A4U1905

SAYALONGA

B&B POTENTIAL DETACHED VILLA 2 SEPARATE BUILDINGS 4+ BEDS 2 BATHS PRICE: 284,999€

A4U2008 VÉLEZ-MÁLAGA TOWN HOUSE ALL ON ONE LEVEL + PRIVATE ROOF TERRACE EASY ACCESS AND PARkING PRICE: 117.000€

Free Virtual Tour Video with Every Listing!! www.andalucia4you.net Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avenida Andalucía 125, Caleta de Vélez, Málaga

WELCOME SUMMER 2020 AND THE NEW NORMALITY! In all the uncertainty during this year ANDALUCIA 4 YOU OFFERS you a professional advice, reliable service or just a helping hand:

✔Open 7 days a week in the summer (appointments only) ✔Your door to the Dutch and Belgian buyers ✔Free pre-valuation and listing ✔Local experts and personal guidance ✔All-round service under one umbrella ✔10 years of experience in the real estate

Thinking of selling your property?

Dutch and Belgian markets have shown it´s growth and stability in the last 5 years.

Contact us! We´ll do the rest.

Looking forward to helping you further.

FP1060 TORROX A very special three/four-bedroom villa with pool, marvellous BBQ kitchen facilities and easy access, 15 minutes’ drive to the coast

399,000€ WE URGENTLY REQUIRE PROPERTIES FOR LONG, MEDIUM AND SHORT TERM RENTAL FOR CLIENTS FROM NERJA TO MáLAGA ON THE COAST AND INLAND. ALL ASPECTS OF THE RENTAL TAKEN CARE OF.

CANILLAS DE ACEITUNO FP1080

IZNATE - Long Term Rental FPR1026

A small one-bedroom village house in this popular village in need of slight reform to maximize its potential

Approx. 2 kilometres from the village of Iznate, this rustic, 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom, semi-detached property with outside terraces, BBQ and 6m x 4m pool

ONLY 28,000€

600€ per month

Calle Dr Fleming, 1 Nerja. 29780 Tel: 952 52 41 40 Mob: 637 278 306 / 606 087 362