Y ea r! I n O u r 15 th
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
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The Most Unusual Digest in America
AUGUST 2010
FREE ENERGY AUDIT Commercial or Industrial Installations We specialize in: •• Electrical Energy Efficient Lighting • Infrared Thermal Imaging to detect potential problems
ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS 1200 Minot Ave., Auburn
Fully Insured
783-7126
Call FMI 783-7126
• Custom Electrical Control Panels • Generator installation
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• Automated systems & controls • Telephone & computer wiring • Engineering/Design build • Wood Pellet sales
www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com
31 Blake St. Lewiston
782-7113 Call Dan Dumont for your FREE Estimate!
138 Main Street, South Paris 744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com
Chinese Knitting
Do your best when no one is looking. – Bob Cousy
Submitted by Maggie Joyce
Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tom Brady is to football. She designed exotic patterns with ease. There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the handwritten menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked it in her purse. Some months later I saw the result - a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.
Send Your Child Back To School With The Winning Edge! he new school year has arrived. And once again, your child will be exposed to bullies, peer pressure and a variety of other negative influences. That’s why it’s so important that you give your child the winning edge with martial arts training at our school! Millions of parents have enrolled their children in martial arts classes because they are so effective in developing self-confidence, leadership skills, safety awareness, and fitness. In addition, research conducted by the National Association of Professional Martial Artists has proven that martial arts training raises kids’ grades. It’s the total package! So if you like the idea of sending your child back to school with the winning edge, then call us for a free, no obligation trial course.
T
She received compliments galore until at one party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant.
Class space is limited, so don’t wait!
"I'm afraid to ask," she said, "but tell me anyway."
Kids 7-12 years old Pre-Schoolers 3-6 years old
Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, "This is a cheap dish - but good." "Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." – Les Brown Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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Karate for Adults Call for more information
FREE INTRO TO KARATE CLASS FOR KIDS Aug. 25th 4:30-5:15 / 5:30-6:15
MEMBER: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PROFESSIONAL MARTIAL ARTISTS
Pelletier’s Karate Academy I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s) Email: pelledojo@aol.com • www.pelletierskarate.com
786-3731
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. – James Naismith
Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards. – Soren Kierkegaard
MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA August 2010 Thursday, Aug 5 Lewiston Mandarin LUNCH (Camp 12749) Sabattus St, Lewiston 11:00am – 1:00pm $4.50 per Member, $5.50 per Guest Wednesday, Aug 11 Grid Iron (Camp 8609) 1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston 4:00pm – 7:00pm $7.50 per Member, $8.50 per Guest Wednesday, August 18 Dairy Joy (Camp 14437) Campus Ave, Lewiston or Spring St, Auburn. 3:00pm – 7:00pm. Unopened Dog/Cat food or $1.00 per Ticket Saturday, August 21 Portland Seadogs vs. Trenton Thunder (Camp 12907) Hadlock Field Portland (Section 502) 6:00 pm. $4.00 Member, $6.00 Guest Tuesday, August 24 Taber’s Lakeside stand (Camp 10589 Lakeshore Dr, Auburn. 4:00pm – 7:00pm. $4.50 per Member, $5.00 per Guest Sunday, Sept. 5 Boston Red Sox vs. Chicago White Sox (Camp 14346) Fenway Park, Boston. Bus leaves Lewiston at 7:30am/Game at 1:30pm. $66 MEMBERS ONLY
Aquaboggan $13.50 per member, $15 per guest Combo Fun/Splash $24 per member, $25 per guest Funtown $17 per member, $18 per guest Splashtown $17 per member, $18 per guest WaterCountry $26 per member, $28 per guest York Animal Kingdom $10 per member / $11 per guest TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED Dates and Prices are subject to change Tickets need to be purchased at the Modern Woodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all activities and can only be picked up the week prior to the activity, Mon - Thurs from 9:00am - 4:00pm (excluding Holidays). FMI call 782-1833.
Auburn Office Activities Sunday, August 22 1pm. Salsa and Beyond-Workshop With Amy LeBlanc @ McLaughlin Gardens, 97 Main St. South Paris. $3.50 off admission
Deb Wagemann*ChFC 800-561-8506 Oxford/Auburn
Monday,August 23 6:30pm. Summer Concert-Guitarist Dave Rowe, Poland Spring Preservation Society, Route 26, Poland Spring. $2.50 off admission Wednesday, August 25 4-7pm. Hodgman’s Frozen Custard. 1108 Lewiston Rd., New Gloucester. No ChargeMenu will be provided with tickets. Tickets must be picked up @ MWA 67 Minot Ave., Auburn, or you may call Mon-Thur, 9:00am to 5:00pm; at 207-783-8804 or 1-800-561-8506
"I am not confused, I'm just well mixed." – Robert Frost (Uncle Andy has borrowed this quote a few times)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
"Time is a figure eight, at its center the city of Deja Vu."
MAILING ADDRESS:
PO Box 3363 Auburn, ME 04212 E-MAIL:
editor@UncleAndys.com PHONE: 207 FAX: 207
783-7039 777-3898
www.UncleAndys.com
AUGUST 2010
Staff UNCLE ANDY Had a Dream
Quality Customized Denture Work FREE CONSULTATIONS Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service! Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit Cards Most Dental Insurances Accepted
Smile Again Dentures
JIMBO
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
Bought the Dream
514-0660
Travis Dow Dream Catcher
Maggie Joyce
www.smileagaindentures.com smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Joe & Mike Adkins
Dreaming of Retirement
Marty Dow
"I look at it this way. I'm not an eavesdropper; I have an attention surplus disorder."
Living the Dream
Michele Farrar Graphic Dream
Rolly’s Diner Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Uncle Andy’s Digest is published by the first Friday of every month by Maine Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME. It is distributed free throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the world. Subscriptions are $30/year. Send a $30 check made out to Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212
Before we hit the beach, we hit Rolly’s for some eats!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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• Unusual Omelettes • Crepes • Breakfast All Day • Extensive Menu 87 Mill St. New Auburn 753-0171 (for take-out)
Uncle Andy’s Digest is not responsible for typographical errors that may occur in advertisements.
Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily
Crystal Olsen & Sadie Blais
Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon
"Word from Washington is that the President remains open to new ideas, although he has completed his memoirs through 2016."
"Today is shaping up as a good day with my pets. My dog came running to greet me, and I have a 2:30 appointment with my cat."
Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash Gotta love the Twins!
Accepting New Patients
"Thinking that a new government is the answer is like thinking that the road would be safer if there were a new troll under the bridge."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at L-A Internal Medicine in Auburn
"It takes a while, but eventually we realize that the people who were always there for the special occasions of our childhood had other things to do."
It says here that a DO is a Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine & a FACP is a Fellow of the American College of Physicians
That is correct!
Dr. Kenneth Brodsky DO, FACP & Chris Roberts LPN Our main goal at L-A Internal Medicine, is to help patients get well
Dr. Kenneth Brodsky DO, FACP & Chris Roberts LPN We're just two of the many smiling faces you'll see when you come to L-A Internal Medicine!
Marcella Purinton & Deb Plourde Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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WE ARE MAINE’S LARGEST FULL LINE DEALER
FULL LINE IN STOCK!
596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811 "No matter how mourned your death, there will be a gathering after the funeral where the chief topic of conversation is how good the squash casserole is."
"Worse than breaking a promise is spending the rest of our lives staying true to a broken promise."
PIZZA • FRIES • SUBS • SANDWICHES & MORE Take-Out • Dine-In • Daily Specials
Check out the NEW & IMPROVED Restaurant & Menu
Out & About at L-A Internal Medicine in Auburn If you're 16 or older and experience internal discomfort or problems, L-A Internal Medicine is here to diagnose your problem and to provide you with the proper treatment.
Open daily 11am – 9pm
365 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
Affordable! Really! Kerri Andrews Three meals a day Plus snacks Weekly housekeeping - 24 hour call buttons Transportation to doctors appointments & shopping
All for $1,300 per month!
Openings Available Now! Call for a tour today!!
#433 Rt. 202, PO Box 629, Greene
What if the readers don't know where 3 Willow Run in Auburn is? We can tell them its across the street from Starbucks & behind the Marriot's Residence Inn.
946-3007 “Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
www.mainemeadows.com
Greg Begin & Bobbie-Jo Fulgham Medical Assistants
Q: What is the difference between a coyote and a flea? A: One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy. "There comes a time in life when you realize that if they will start without you, you don't have to go."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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"Our destiny hides among our free choices, disguised as the free-est of all."
FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
NATIONALLY ACCREDITED CHILD CARE • SCHOOL-AGE VACATION CAMP, AUG. 23RD-27TH • FULL DAY CHILD CARE, 6 weeks to 5 years • SCHOOL AGE BEFORE & AFTER SCHOOL CARE, Grades K-6 Daily & Weekly Rates AUBURN-LEWISTON YMCA 62 TURNER STREET, AUBURN (Next to the county building)
795-4095 www.alymca.org
Look For: • Aug. 2-8 Group Power Launch FREE to the public • Couch to 5K • 5K to 10K • Swim Lesson Registration • Field Hockey Registration • New Family Activities • 1st Annual Golf Tournament
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"It is a common fancy that we have the children of our destiny with the partner of our choice."
"Sometimes it is the person closest to us who must travel the furthest distance to be our friend."
Out & About at L-A Internal Medicine in Auburn
Dr. Brodsky checks out one of his wonderful patients, Milford Westleigh
Rebecca Reardon Office Manager
Strange Lawsuits
596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811
A Los Angeles attorney sued another attorney who had hung a cardboard tombstone in his office that read, "R.I.P./Jerry Garcia (a few too many parties perhaps?)." The plaintiff lawyer, a Garcia groupie, alleged this joke caused him "humiliation, mental anguish, and emotional and physical distress" after seeing the sign. He further added that he had suffered injury to his mind and body (specifics were not listed in the suit).
"Know thyself" said the ancient Greeks, not necessarily ruling out a second opinion.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
LIVE THREE ONLY AT:
&T Jimbo
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"Between destiny and free will, there's enough to ponder without wondering where our parents figured in."
Auburn Mall Eye Care
New Native Produce Arriving Daily
Bring in this ad for...
5 OFF
• Fresh vegetables Fresh homemade pies, bread & donuts • Apples & Cider on the weekends! • Fresh Cheese • Smiling Hill Farms milk Open 7 Days a Week 9am-5pm ...and more!
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Contact Lenses
(excludes exams) 1 coupon per person Expires 8/31/10
& Farm Stand
DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.
550 Center Street, Auburn (207) 782-5030
72 Lisbon St., in Lisbon
Out & About at Maine Oxy Janey is my favorite co-worker!
Tom Pelletier & Janey I help Maine Oxy by providing them with legal protection.
In 2000, the U.S. Postal Service issued America's first round, five-sided, and hologram stamps. The stamps were released during the World Stamp Expo 2000 in Anaheim, California. The $11.75 stamp, which also marks the first round issue, depicts a view of the Earth as seen by the Apollo 17 astronauts.
Out & About at Maine Oxy
Mystery Photo, Can you identify these two masked men?
Welcome to Maine Oxy, how may I help you? See page 14 to find out.
MAINE PUBLIC CAR AUCTION I-295 Exit 37 to 125 S. • Bowdoinham, Maine 04008
Every Saturday 10:30 a.m.
Buy a car or auction your car for cash! (Bring your title)
Maxx Coombs Owner Regina Krause
Call 207-449-3331
www.mainepubliccarauction.com
Pre-Paid Legal Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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If you say, "between you and I" instead of "between you and me," do you say "between you, I and the fencepost?"
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
Out & About at Maine Oxy It takes more than the two of us to keep those guys out front accountable!
Alicia Poulin & Catherine Audet
PARTS • SALES • SERVICE WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes • Sales of New International Trucks • Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes
We love working with other local businesses, like Motor Supply!
Bob “Bruno” Smith
Morrison & Sylvester 1175 Minot Ave. Auburn, ME 04210 783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net John St. Pierre If you say "different than" instead of "different from," do you think a horse differs than a pig?
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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If you say "hone in" instead of "home in," have you ever seen a honing pigeon?
www.emerso The Back Forty
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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"Once in a while it's good to retrace our footsteps, just to remind ourselves that they are all our own."
"There is a moment between child and parent when the child first realizes that someday this person is going to need serious help." – Robert Brault
ontoyota.com August Specials
Come in today and spend the rest of the dog days of summer in your new vehicle!
"We look at the smiling faces in an old family photo, and we think how happily innocent we were, which is exactly what those smiling faces wanted us to think." – Robert Brault
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The largest movie theater in the world, Radio City Music Hall in New York City, opened in December, 1932. It originally had 5,945 seats.
As a NAPA Autocare Center we welcome former Hebert’s Auto Service customers! We are a complete auto service shop • Diagnostic Specialists • Tires & Tire Service • Complete A/C Service • State Inspections
A/C System Check & Service
$
95
99
Save $30 (Reg. $129.95)
Most Vehicles - Call for appointment
• Full Brake Service • Alignments • Much, much more!
Quality Service at an Affordable Price!
Formerly of Sullivan Tire Rick
Ron
Jeremy
Joshua
Don Gilks
Owner
Adv. Master Tech
Technician
Technician
Operations Manager
NEW MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE 250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.net
Two keys were hanging in the undertaker's office - one for the organ in the chapel; the other one was for the flower car in the garage. Two small signs were above the keys; one read "Hymn" and the other "Hearse." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Out & About at Maine Oxy Mystery Photo Answer*:
Larry Pelletier & Jeff Danse *see mystery photo on page 10.
The customers seem to take me more seriously when I'm not wearing my mask* when I ask them if they need help...I wonder why that is?
The police came to my house earlier & said my dog had chased an old man on a bike. I said my dog doesn't have a bike.
The man who can't dance thinks the band is no good. – Polish Proverb
About a year ago, my sister, who lives in Mississippi, was talking with her 4-year-old son. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny. “Actually, they think we have an accent,” she laughed.
Top 6 reasons to choose Mike Morin’s • Expert service & highest quality • Accurate diagnosis of problems • Fair & honest quotes • Great customer service
Summers here! It’s time to start thinking about a complete A/C performance check!
• Full service garage, no problem too big or too small • Best of the best 10 years running for automotive service
Miscommunication
Paul Deschenes
FOR SALE AT MIKE MORIN’S 2006 Harley-Davidson Ultra Classic
ONLY $18,500 Cobalt blue & silver, air ride seat, GPS, AM/FM stereo, extra chrome, 2 windshields
Complimentary Coffee & Donuts while you wait • FREE Shuttle Service In L/A
Mike Morin’s Auto Center 1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433 “A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”
“But they have an accent, right?” he asked. “Theyʼre the ones who talk funny!” Everybody talks in different ways,” she tried to explain. “To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out.” His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, “Wow, you mean they hear funny too?” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
In 1985, Mel Fisher first located a Spanish galleon that had sunk off Key West, Florida, during a hurricane in 1622. The ship contained more than $400 million worth of treasure.
VW & AUDI SERVICE Mention this ad for Lifetime Warranty • Free Estimates Free Pickup and Delivery
10% OFF your next service
459 Washington Street in Auburn • 878-9088 • www.rennen.us
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." – Titus Livius
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at New England School of Metalwork Come to our school to get your Weld on!
Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening. – Frank Tyger
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC. FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 26 YEARS • Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up • Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems
OUR TIRES
Warren Swan Just call me Warren the Welder.
Rod & Beth Cameron, owners
60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210
782-6666 or 783-2026
A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NAPA AUTO CARE TEAM
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." – Thomas Jefferson
Come here for Blacksmithing and Welding Classes of the Finest Quality!
Ron Guimond Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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The only way to worry about nothing is to pray about everything. – Unknown
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
Out & About with Miami Mike
We want these vehicles gone! Make us an offer! No reasonable offer refused!
Make an offer!
Make an offer!
2002 Acura RL
V6, Automatic, Leather, CD Player, Cruise, Premium Audio, Fog Lights & More
Make an offer!
2006 VW Jetta
Black, 5-Speed, 4 Door, 72k, Keyless Entry, Power Roof, Leather & More
Make an offer!
2003 Honda Accord LX
2006 Volvo S40
Automatic, VTEC Engine, Power Seats, Alloy Wheels
5-Speed, 65k, ABS, Traction Control, CD Player
Make an offer!
Make an offer!
2004 Nissan Maxima
2004 Volvo S60
Automatic, Leather, 47k, CD Player, Cruise, ABS, Keyless Entry & More
Black, Leather, Automatic, 94k, AWD, Keyless, Alloy Wheels & Lots More
New, Easy Financing Available! All types of credit accepted! 733 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
777-0047 • www.laautocompany.com "The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them." – Benjamin Jowett
Hello Digesters! Welcome to summertime in Maine. Where the weather is always right day and night. Now let me tell you something, I have a certain set of friends and family members who are living with the notion that a certain restaurant, which will remain nameless (starts with a color, ends with a lobster), has excellent seafood. I cannot begin to explain to any of you Digesters, how many times I have tried to work my linguistic skills upon these unfortunate folks in hopes of ridding them of this horrific misconception. Now once again, I know I am preaching to the choir on this one, but as proud Uncle Andy’s Digesters, we are all well aware that if you are looking for the cream of the crop seafood, you need to take a seat at the Village Inn Restaurant. Not only will you be indulging in the freshest, best-tasting seafood around, but also you will surely not be able to clean your plate with their generous portions. Ok, now if you did not yet know this fact, then let me tell you, in the words of G.I. Joe, Knowing is half the battle and the other half is making sure you read your Uncle Andy’s Digest cover to cover each month. This picture of me unfortunately ain’t no Maine home cooking, but this is the only SEE food I’ll eat outside of vacationland, the type I see and eat. Incase you are wondering, yeah it tasted great and gave me a grand case of indigestion and bloating, but it was well worth it! Well my fellow Digesters, till next time, I’ll see you on the flip side.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Patti Gagne WINS SPEAK-OFF
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE IT’S MUD SEASON! MORE TO GO ON The New 2010 Arctic Cat ATV’s are in!
Washington DC – Patti Gagne, Owner of the Patti Gagne Agency, Allstate Insurance in Lewiston, Maine, recently competed in and won the CWC Speak-Off during the Annual Conference of the National Association of Insurance Women, International. Confidence While Communicating (CWC) is a highly prestigious program offered to members of NAIW (International). The CWC program allows participants to enhance communication skills. Patti completed the CWC program in 1998, and won the Region l Speak-Off competition in April in Manchester, NH. Gagne went on to compete at the National level with 8 other Regional winners of NAIW (International), by presenting a three-minute prepared speech and completing a one-minute impromptu speech. Gagne was named the 2010 National Speak-Off Winner! NAIW (International) is an association of insurance professionals dedicated to the development of leaders in the insurance & risk management industries through education, networking and industry alliances. Contact Patti at 1220 Lisbon St., Lewiston, 207-783-4529. Email: pattigagne@allstate.com See her ad on page 78.
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Check out our Arctic Cat riding apparel & accessories, too!
AMES SPORTS SHOP
Set your sights on Ames Sports Shop! 84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917 (off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)
Every exit is an entry somewhere else. – Tom Stoppard
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $ $ Make Your Best Deal on Any New or Used $ $ Car, Pickup or Utility $ $ Present this Check and Receive an CHEVROLET - BUICK $ Rte. 4 Center St., Auburn ADDITIONAL $5000 OFF $ 784-3503 • 800-696-0766 $ $ $ $ PAY AMOUNT OF FIFTY DOLLARS AND NO CENTS DOLLARS $ 50.00 $ $ $ EMERSON Chevrolet-Buick $ TO THE ORDER OF $ $ $ $ $ $ Offer valid through 8/31/10 only as described above. CUSTOMERʼS SIGNATURE $ $ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Congratulations Uncle Andy’s Digest for entertaining us for 15 years! We’re proud to have been in your first issue…
– John Emerson I couldn't believe that the statue was not made of stone. Next time, I won't take a work of art for granite.
$
4,500 2001 P.T. Cruiser
93K, 4 Cyl., Auto, Loaded, Ice Cold A/C
$
4,500 1999 F350 Superduty
.230K, 7.3 Diesel, Previous Ambulance
www.MandPautosales.com
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
$
9,950
2007 Pontiac Grand Prix 62K, Silver, Sharp Car, Aluminum Wheels, PW, PL, AC, FWD
$
8,500
2001 GMC 3500 Rack Body, 2WD, No Dump, 42K
2002 Ford F350 Superduty, 109k, Auto, 8 ft. Minute Mount Plow . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,000 2001 Ford F250 Superduty, ext. cab, 98k, 8’ Minute Mount Plow . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,000
M & P AUTO SALES Roosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867 "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -- Victor Borge
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Finger Lickinʼ Good Submitted by Jimbo
Heaven is full of answers to prayer for which no one bothered to ask. – Billy Graham
Featuring Scruples Urban Shock Color Craze
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right; everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
782-5920 www.MadisonAveSalon.net
What does the sea say to the sand? Not much. It usually just waves.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me (continued on next page)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"Laughter is by definition healthy." -- Doris Lessing
(continued from previous page)
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
OVERABUNDANCE OF INVENTORY We have over 1200 parts cars available for all your auto and truck needs! What we don’t have WE CAN FIND! And remember, we’ve been around since 1938, long before Uncle Andy’s Digest. They’ve only been around for 15 years and we’ll be here long after they’re gone, or my name isn’t Don St. Germain.
E CL CY RE
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RE-USE
Don’s DBA...
One coupon per customer
TOGETHER LET’S THINK GREEN AND RECYCLE!
20
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In-stock auto & truck parts
MORRIS AUTO PARTS 940 Washington St. North • 784-7374 or 800-730-7374 • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12 Practice without improvement is meaningless. – Chuck Knox
Guess where I am now...
Strange Lawsuits A woman was treated by a psychiatrist from March to November 1986, became romantically involved with him, and subsequently married him in October of 1989. After more than five years of marriage they divorced in 1995, at which time the woman sued her exhusband for psychiatric malpractice and negligence claiming that the romantic or sexual relationship between them started before the formal psychiatric treatment ended. She contended that her ex-husband had breached the standard of care as a psychiatrist by becoming romantically involved with her, and sought general, special and punitive damages. Q: What do you get if you cross a doctor with a bloodhound? A: A medical scenter. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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What do you call a chiropractor for pets? An animal cracker.
SAM’S BODY SHOP
Your source for Quality Pet Grooming
Pick up & delivery available within L/A.
Custom Trailer Hitches Sold & Installed Trailer Repairs
PAWS IN MOTION GROOMING, LLC 72 Marston Hill Rd., Auburn
886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00
PawsInMotionGrooming.com
MOTORCYCLE INSPECTION STATION We work on all American-Made Motorcycles
V-RODS ROAD-RODS 140 Riverside Drive Auburn, Maine 04210
Serviced & Built
ONE-STOP AUTO SERVICE • Brake Service • Custom Exhaust • Shocks & Struts • Used Car Sales • Tires • Tune-ups • Rust Repair & Body Work
Call for Info 207-782-9400
• Engine Overhauls • Transmission Overhauls • Custom Paint • Motorcycle Tanks & Fenders • Restorations & Rebuilds
304 Lisbon Road • Lisbon
info@v-shop.us
353-6100
www.v-shop.us
Attention Auto Dealers!!
Any Make, Any Model Any Problem…
Special Dealer Pricing!! Call FMI 782-2022
NO PROBLEM!
$
55/hr. LABOR RATE Fully Warranteed & Certified
784-3676
Brad Johnson
Brad’s Precision Auto 333-0364 144 Riverside Dr., Auburn
FREE ESTIMATES 2085 Lisbon Road, Lewiston • www.ChapmanCollision.com
MAKE SURE YOUR VEHICLE IS RUNNING SMOOTH BEFORE YOU HEAD BACK TO SCHOOL
KEEP COOL! GET YOUR A/C RECHARGED NOW!
Major & Minor Repairs • Brake Service • Tune-ups • Electrical Diagnostic Testing • AC Service • Exhaust • State Inspections
68 Adams Ave in Lewiston • 783-0581 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Correction -- the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: "Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m." Please correct to read "12 noon."
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE 10% OFF with this ad
Complete Auto & Truck Repair • Front End Alignments • Engine Diagnostics • Custom Exhaust • Tires, Batteries
• Transmission Flush • State Inspections • Complete Front End Work • Tune-ups
Ron Moon, Manager
35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039
207-657-5000
ow doing N • Boat Seats and Interiors
Check! us out
• Motorcycle Seats • Convertible Tops
CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY
For all your upholstery needs FREE ESTIMATES 28 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-3822
A-PLUS AUTO REPAIR WE ARE THERE FOR YOU!
1/2 off Oil Change
We’ve gotta keep practicing our repair skills for a few more years before Dad will let us work on some real machinery!
When you present this ad Limit 1 • Expires 8/31/10
786-0522 41 Millett Drive, Auburn Located in the former Hebert’s Auto Building
Cayden & Chance
"Painting is poetry which is seen and not heard, and poetry is a painting which is heard and not seen." – Leonardo Da Vinci
KidQuarters Child Care Center EARNS NATIONAL NAEYC ACCREDITATION KidQuarters Child Care Center is a program among the top in the nation by earning NAEYC Accreditation. The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) is the nation’s leading organization of early childhood professionals. “We’re proud to have earned the mark of quality from NAEYC, and to be recognized for our commitment to reaching the highest professional standards,” said Michelle Pinkham, Owner/Teacher of KidQuarters Child Care Center. “NAEYC Accreditation lets families in our community know that children in our program are getting the best care and early learning experiences possible.” In the 23 years since NAEYC Accreditation was established, it has become a widely recognized sign of high-quality early childhood education. Almost 8,000 programs, serving one million young children, are currently accredited by NAEYC – approximately 8% of all preschools and other early childhood programs. “The NAEYC Accreditation system raises the bar for preschools, child care centers and other early childhood programs,” said Mark Ginsberg, Ph.D., executive director of NAEYC. “KidQuarters Child Care Center’s NAEYC Accreditation is a sign that they are a leader in a national effort to invest in high-quality early childhood education, and to help give all children a better start.”
KidQuarters Child Care Center offers care for children 6 weeks to 12 years old. Reasonable rates 6:30am-6pm Monday - Friday. Step 4 of the Maine Quality Rating System KidQuarters also, has a new location in Poland. For more information about the New Gloucester or Poland locations please call KidQuarters at 207-926-5431. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
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Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash
"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." – Michael Jordan
*Payments calculated with 10% down cash or trade, 60months, 7.99 APR, amount financed $8,000, excludes tax, title and doc fee. With approved credit. All vehicles available for same day delivery.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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*Payments calculated with 10% down cash or trade, 66 months, 7.99 APR, amount financed $13,000, excludes tax, title and doc fee. With approved credit. All vehicles available for same day delivery.
When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. – John Ruskin
“The best way to keep your kids out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.”
Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash
The Burning Man Festival August 30 – September 6, 2010
Once a year, tens of thousands of people gather in Nevada's Black Rock Desert (also known as "the playa") to create Black Rock City, a temporary metropolis dedicated to community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance. They depart one week later, having left no trace whatsoever. Even considering going to Burning Man for the first time can be daunting. And while it's true that Burning Man is not for the faint of heart, with some research, preparation, and planning, an experience -- and opportunity -- beyond your wildest dreams awaits you. In Black Rock City, you're guaranteed not to be the weirdest kid in the classroom. And you'll become a part of the growing community of Burners who are active year-round, around the world ... ensuring that the fire of Burning Man culture never goes out.
Hope to see you there!
Uncle Andy & Anna limbering up for the upcoming festival
One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than fifty preaching it. – Knute Rockne
Opening Soon! Wolf Run Karting Raceway Where Rubbin is Rac’n
Great entertainment for adults AND kids!
Come to race on a 1/6 mile road course. Call for more info or to book your event!
207-713-6600 Located at 32 Lewiston Street, Mechanic Falls Behind the “Old Mill”
We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. – The Talmud
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Speaking Out Submitted by Jimbo
Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words." Sister Mary Katherine said,"Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."
EXPERIENCED QUALITY SERVICE QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979 CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all We perform manufacturer’s vehicle maintenance and scheduled services • Transmission Flushes
• Chassis, alignment
• Fuel systems
• Shocks, struts
• Engine performance
• And more!
• Brakes, exhaust
• State Inspection
Maineʼs AAA Approved Repair Facility since 1990!
HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC. 44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420 Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com
Bob & Bonnie Merrill, owners
Out & About at New England School of Metalwork Life Lessons from a Blacksmith Part 1
Life Lessons from a Blacksmith Part 2
Life Lessons from a Blacksmith Part 3
You've gotta strike while the iron's hot!
You can make something out of nothing
To get what you want in the end you must first know what you want in the beginning.
Life Lessons from a Blacksmith Part 4 When nothing else seems to work, hit it hard with a hammer!
After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. "You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine." "Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."
Blacksmith Hunter Matthews
• Custom-made Systems • In-dash DVD & Navigation • Subwoofers & Speakers • CD & MP3 Players • Alarms & Remote Starters
"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine. "It's probably best," said the Priest. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
625 Washington Street, Auburn (207) 777-3339
www.soundeffectsmaine.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"If you hear no evil and see no evil, call the TV repairman."
"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence." – Jessica Guidobono
NO WONDER YELLOW PLOWS ARE TURNING RED From rugged, reliable Straight-Blades to fast, versatile multiposition plows, the best products in the snowplow industry are made by THE BOSS. And the same holds true for service and support. Not only will Coastal Metal Fab help you find the right plow for your jobs, but weʼll also be your ultimate BOSS plow expert as long as you own your plow.
Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash
That’s right, it’s a trip for 2. Sort of like Twins... get it?
YOUR GO-TO GUYS WHEN IT COMES TO: • HELP. From simple advice to expert assistance, Coastal Metal Fab is there to answer all of your BOSS snowplow questions. • PREP. Getting your BOSS ready for the season is easy. Just call to make an appointment for your annual checkup. • PARTS. Coastal Metal Fab will make sure THE BOSS parts you need for service or repairs are always ready.
COASTAL METAL FAB 747 MINOT AVE. AUBURN, ME
207-782-4111
PUSHING THE EDGE
coa stal me ta l fa b .c o m
b o s s p l o w . c o m
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it." – Mark Twain
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About with the Maine Health Care Association’s “Live Your Dreams” program in Ellsworth
"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance." – Uncle Andy
Photos submitted by Ann St. Laurent Footer
Most people don’t know that I was the leader of a group of 180 bikers 20+ years ago...
Bill Feeleyʼs dream comes true!
And most people didn’t know that Bill’s nickname is King Kong. Not to mention he was a college English professor!
Ann St. Laurent Footer with Bill Feeley Jamie & Damien Dufour
To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website Feeley was sidelined by an injury. Jamie & Damien made Billʼs dream a reality after hearing about his request to ride once again. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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www.donovansauto.com 946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856
Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. – Arabic Proverb
“Computer message I'd like to see: Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.”
TURNING MEMORIES INTO WORKS OF ART Most offers come with a hook. This is ours.
Along with the best selection of frames and mats for prints, pictures or keepsakes.
Expert Custom Framing Quality Personal Service at affordable prices!
23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333
For prints, pictures, needlework, diplomas, sports memorabilia and more!
Want more inches? Stroke it!
Gram & Dan Williams
Quality since 1992
After a long, hard stare, the man grinned and called to my son, "Sorry, kid, I thought that was my daughter."
How can you save money without sacrificing quality?
Factory trained!
We don’t work on Fords, Chevys or Volvos! Motorcycles is our business! Performance is our name!
By calling Wyman’s Collision today! From dings & dents to complete overhauls and custom paint jobs.
GEORGE GOWELL
See us for a FREE ESTIMATE and $AVE!
owner / tech
Dan Wyman, Owner
WE NOW SERVICE & RECHARGE A/C SYSTEMS
Motor mods, mild to
Phone: 333-3231
592 Sabattus Street wild! Parts by Drag Bikers Choice, Custom Sabattus
375-6525
A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with his girlfriend. The truck matched them turn for turn, down every street. My son's concern grew to alarm when the menacing-looking driver pulled next to him at a light, leaned out his window, and glared into his car.
"Every time we throw a party, she beats me to the punch."
STROKERS PLUS
False Identity
Chrome, Tec Distributing, Midwest, Tedd Cycle, Renegade Wheels
1164 Minot Ave. (behind Dealer Worx)
“As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716”
If you can read this you have very good eyesight.
THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE
Interesting Town Names
9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME •
(207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414
Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings
Porter
AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS Nessie
Boo
Dog gonnit… We want your business!
CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com
“Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.”
Fonda, NY was originally an American Indian community. In the mid-1700's it saw the arrival of the Dutch and in1851 was named for one of the original Dutch founders. It is from this same family that several generations of well-known actors have come. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash
The only one of his sculptures that Michelangelo signed was the “The Pieta,” completed in 1500.
Your one stop for all your auto sales & service needs Was $29,995
NOW $27,995
$19,995
$14,995
2007 Chevy Avalanche LT
2006 Nissan Murano SE
2006 Ford F150
4x4, One owner, 33k.
AWD Touring Edition. Heated leather seats, sunroof & navigation. 63K
Extended Cab, 4x4. 123K
$12,495
$14,995
Starting at
$8,995
JEEPS! 2003 Chevy Avalanche Z71 4x4, 117K
2004 Dodge Ram Quad Cab 1500 SLT 4x4, Only 68K!
$19,995
2006 Dodge Ram Quad Cab Hemi
4 Wranglers to Choose From! We have automatics and 5-speeds. We have soft tops and hard tops!
$11,995
$18,995
2003 GMC Sierra SLE
2007 Ford Explorer Sport Trac XLT 4x4
4-door, 4X4 pickup, 1 owner, 100K
Don’t miss the
Dempsey Challenge Benefit Bash Fri. Aug. 27, 6pm at Lost Valley featuring BROAD STREET BAND & CHAD PORTER
200 Auburn Road in Turner • 225-2694 • 4 miles north of Auto Mile
www.kryauto.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The great Gothic cathedral of Milan was started in 1386, and wasnʼt completed until 1805.
THURSDAYS Line Dancing Lessons 6pm Karaoke 8pm Beer Pong Sign-ups 9pm
Action-packed Thursdays with DJ B-Set at 9:30pm
FRIDAYS
SATURDAYS
LADIES Night Drink Specials
DJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands, Comedy Acts & More!
DJ & Live Local Entertainment
Every Friday night!
ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP THU. AUG. 5TH
BIKINI BULL RIDING FRI. AUG. 6TH
THE GRUMPS & MECHANICAL BULL SAT. AUG. 7TH
99.9 THE WOLF PARTY - TWISTED TEA PROMO WITH THE MECHANICAL BULL SAT. AUG. 14TH
MODUS - MODERN ROCK FRI. AUG. 20TH
THE MOB - MODERN ROCK SAT. AUG. 21ST
JEROBA JUMP
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS
FRI. AUG. 27TH
ALWAYS A DJ IN THE PUB !
SIDECAR RADIO & GUESTS SAT. AUGUST 28TH
DEAD SEASON FUNDRAISER
Benefitting the Abused Women’s Advocacy Program
Doors open at 4pm Tickets $10/pp Available at all Bull Moose locations and online at
deadseason.com SAT. SEPT. 11TH
EMMA’S BENEFIT
3pm-7pm $10/pp at the door
Live Music, Food & More!
to benefit Emma Dube, 11 months old, who has cancer
150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info
CALL
for more info or to be a part of this great event!
839 Main Street, Lewiston • 786-2822 • WWW.L-AHARLEY.COM Hours: Mon.-Fri. 9AM-6PM; Sat. 9AM-5PM; Sunday - GONE RIDINʼ
The largest animal ever seen alive was a 113.5 foot, 170-ton female blue whale.
Out & About at the Irish Twins Pub 2nd Anniversary Bash My peeps rock!
EVE
RY TUESDAY NIGHT
5:00pm – 9:00pm
5:30pm – 9:00pm
Got a hot ride? Show it off at Roy’s!
T-Shirts • 50/50 Raffle • Prizes • Give-Aways Now featuring
CENTER &GOLF Rt. 4, just past Lake Auburn THE BEST HAMBURGERS AROUND! MADE WITH FRESH GRADE-A STEAK, CUT & GROUND DAILY
www.roysgolf.com The largest pig on record was a Poland-China hog named Big Bill, who weighed 2,552 lbs.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The largest bird egg in the world today is that of the ostrich. Ostrich eggs are from 6 to 8 inches long. Because of their size and the thickness of their shells, they take 40 minutes to hard-boil.
"You never saw a fish on the wall with its mouth shut." – Sally Berger
This Month’s Specials
Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center’s Bike Night
9 pc. Chicken Tender Snack $
Show off you're bike at Bike Night, Every Thursday night at Roy's on Rt.4 in Auburn.
10” 2-Topping Fresh Dough Pizza $
6.99
9.49
Large Ham & Cheese Sub $
3.99
"The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them." – Jim Rohn
Stormie & Bruno Sunglasses protect my eyes while I ride to Bike Night, that way I'm sure to see all the really cool bikes!
NEED A LOAN? We have the financing for you!
Heidi at our Auburn Branch
Maria LaBonte & Joline Blanchette Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish." – Mark Twain
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." – Rita Rudner
865 Sabattus Street, Lewiston 333-3004
QUICKIE Exterior Wash & Dry Extras: Tire Shine $1.00 Wheel Brighten $1.00 Under Body Wash $1.50
$11 add $1.50 for SUV’s and Vans
COMPLETE IN & OUT Exterior Wash & Dry • Interior Vacuum Clean Windows • Interior Wipe Down Under Body Wash • Tire Shine
Josh Lisa
Kevin
Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center’s Bike Night
$25
add $5.00 for SUV’s and Vans •add $7.50 for pet hair removal
Steve Dubois Owner
liquidsunshinecarwash.com
You can now get your
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST and read it online!
Read all the stories, all the one-liners, see all the pictures & see all of our advertisers!
Go to www.UncleAndys.com and click on “Digital Edition”
$10,995
$6,995
$8,495
2003 BMW 325xi
2003 Volvo S60
2003 Audi A4 Quattro
AWD, Auto, Loaded, Leather, Roof
Black on Black, Loaded, Leather, Roof
Turbo, AWD, Leather, Roof, Loaded, 117K
2006 VW Jetta, Highway Miles, Loaded ..........................................$8,995 2004 Dodge Dakota “SXT” 1 Owner, 4X4, 100K ..............................$8,495 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland EDT, 85K, Has Everything....$11,495 2003 Passat 4 Motion, Loaded, AWD, 90K......................................$9,295 2003 Passat 4 Motion, Loaded, AWD, 95K, 1 Owner.......................$9,195 2003 VW GTI, Auto, 1 Owner, Roof, Alloys, 115K............................$6,995 2003 Audi A4 Quattro, 100K, AWD, Loaded, Auto., Fully Serviced..$9,495 2003 Chevy Trailblazer “LTZ” Like New, 4X4, Loaded, 100k ............$9,395 2002 Nissan Pathfinder SE, 1 Owner, Loaded, 5 Spd.......................$5,995
Come to Bike Night and you might just ride away with one of these official Bike Night T-Shirts!
2002 Audi A4 Quattro, 5 Spd., 117K, Loaded, New Timing Belt/Pump .......$7,995 2001 Chevy 2500 HD, 4X4, LS, 120K, White ..............................................$9,995 2000 Volvo XC, Wagon, AWD, 100K, NADA $8,000 ...................................$5,695 2000 Maxima SE, 5 Speed, 1 Owner, 88K, NADA $8,200............................$6,295 1987 Chevy Corvette, 1 Owner, 46K Original Miles, Auto., Removable Top......$9,995
More vehicles in stock. Stop by today!
Dancinʼ Dan & wife Shirley DiMambro
WHOLESALE 2001 Audi A6 Avante Quattro, 125K, Loaded .........................$4,000 2001 Volvo XC AWD Wagon, 124K, Loaded ..........................$3,750 1999 Jeep Cherokee Sport, 73K, New Exhaust/Tires..............$1,500 1999 Acura SLX SUV, 4X4, 79K, Loaded ...............................$4,500
Shop online at Cliffscars.com 1511 Minot Ave., Auburn 514-7013 “The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.” – Epictetus
"Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." – Ann Landers Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
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Behind the scenes at Rainbow FCU
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."
2003 Saab 9-3 Convertible
$
7,995
Receptive to your every need...
Wanda (Woo)
2004 Chevy Crew Cab
$
16,495
5-Speed, Leather, 88K, One Owner
Leather, Loaded
2003 Lincoln Aviator
2002 Audi A4 Optional 18” Wheels
Receptionist
$
11,495
$
Every option known to mankind!
7,995 5-Speed, Leather, Loaded
Other Inventory We’ve got Wanda Woo, Donna Doo... I’ll be Cindy Coo
Cindy Teller at Main St. branch
I collect neck sizes. Let’s see what yours is...
Donna (Doo) & Mike Collectors Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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06 Suzuki Forenza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 05 BMW 325xi, AWD, 4 Door . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,995 05 Saab 95 Aero, Navigation, Satellite Radio, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,495 05 Toyota Corolla S, Auto 67K, Loaded, Roof . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,495 04 Audi A4, Automatic, 56K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$13,495 04 Suzuki XL7, 89k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,995 04 Volvo XC90, AWD, 3rd Row Seat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,995 03 GMC Sierra SLE Limited, Z71, Extended Cab, Loaded . . . . . . . . . .$10,495 03 Saab 95 Aero, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$6,495 02 Nissan Xterra XE, V6, Power Everything, 4X4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,495 02 Chevy Extended Cab, 89K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,995 02 Volvo S60, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 02 Hyundai Accent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 02 Saab 95 Turbo, Loaded 5-Speed, Leather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,295 01 Nissan Xterra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 01 Ford F250, Low Miles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price 00 Jeep Cherokee Classic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,795 00 BMW 328ci, 5-Speed, Many Aftermarket Upgrades, Black/Red . . .$7,995 99 GMC Sierra, Extended Cab . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$6,295 99 Audi A4, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 99 Audi A4, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,295 99 Audi A4 1.8T, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price 99 Audi A4 2.8T Wagon, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price
98 Audi A4 Quattro, Black, 5-Speed . . . . . . . . . . .$4,995 98 Audi A4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,995 97 Audi A6 Quattro Wagon, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 18” ASA Audi Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$1,400 Volvo 17” Gunmetal Gray Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500 Mille Miglia 18” Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500 New Wheel & Tire Packages . . . . . . . . . . .Call for pricing
Come buy your next vehicle at Independent Auto!
Diablo
Tim Bellmore
INDEPENDENTAuto Scott McFarren & Tim Bellmore
1298 Sabattus St. Lewiston
786-7744
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. – Charlotte Bronte
"Nobody believes the official spokesperson, but everybody trusts an unidentified source." – Ron Nesen
Ann Dumais
Paula Tantillo
Kelly Giambr a
Sue Poulin
N N N
Licensed Aesthetician Licensed Massage Therapist Full range of skin care including Glycolic Peels
ond Pauline Guim
Kim Galgovi tch
Lysa Ronan
N
All waxing services including Brazilian Wax
N N
Tinting - eyelashes & brows Mens & Womens Cuts
d Lisa Olmstea
Valerie Kelsh aw
N N N N
Childrens cuts Colors N Foils N Perms Manicures Pedicures
We are a full service salon
786-4311 specials Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm
on all Liter Duos
14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
CELEBRATION OF COURAGE The Gendron family:
Joey, Todd, Jessie & Kylee
On June 5th, Ten Coed Hockey Teams and over 30 local business sponsors came together to raise money to send this beautiful young mother to The Gerson Therapy Clinic in Hawaii. Kylee has already beaten stage 3 Anal Cancer and has been diagnosed with cancer again this time in her liver. If you missed your chance to donate and help the cause, you can still make a difference and help this family. Please help Kylee, wife of Todd and mother of Joey & Jessie, hero and inspiration to all. Contact Taylor-Paige Harrison at 577-7176, check out the facebook page Celebration of Courage Annual Hockey Tournament, or go to www.rawsomenana.com
“On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past...but never the present.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
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Upcoming Golf Tournament
The YMCA 1st Annual Golf Tournament Sponsored by NAPA Auto Parts Help support your local Auburn-Lewiston YMCA by joining us for our First Annual Golf Tournament on Monday Sept 20th @ Martindale. Call the YMCA at 795-4095 FMI. As owner of four local Napa Auto Parts Stores, I'm very proud to sponsor this event as a way to support the efforts of the YMCA in engaging children in quality programs that encourage physical activity & help develop character.
"If we all do one random act of kindness daily, we just might set the world in the right direction." -– Martin Kornfeld
A salt water tank with marine fish is colorful, exciting and will last for years to come!
Marine Fish • Coral • Supplies •
272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372
Taking after Grampy already! Big Gare with his grandson, Blake Dow
When Big Gare was reminded that the August 2010 edition would commence Uncle Andy’s Digest’s 15th anniversary he decided that was the right time to unveil Blake Dowʼs solo drum performance they had been working on for weeks. Of course this was in between Big Gareʼs real estate business, his other two jobs, his boat & his wife Jane. Big Gare stated, “Blake is a quick study. His handeye coordination is unbelieveable at his young age.” Blake performed at the 4th of July event in Boothbay Harbor where he stole the show. Big Gare also mentioned a congratulations to his old company, Uncle Andy’s Digest. “Keep up the good work, guys! Although I donʼt have time to read it, I hear itʼs still pretty well received in the area.”
ATTENTION BUSINESS & COMMERCIAL PROPERTY OWNERS We’re budget friendly and offer free estimates! Go Green! All Natural Cleaning Products
Be Clean & Be GREEN!
www.KandLGreenClean.com
Jim Whitmore Napa Auto Parts Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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K+L GREEN CLEAN, INC 577-8725 "Helping the environment one job at a time"
OWNERS: KRISTIE MORIN & LAUREN SIMPSON "Never have children, only grandchildren." – Gore Vidal
Harley Owners Group
"If people did not do silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done." – Ludwig Wittgenstein
Student of the Month Now accepting students Learn to play THE RIGHT WAY Mention this ad and your first drum lesson is FREE* *with your first month of lessons
Kyle Frazier w/ Dick Demers
DICK DEMERS SCHOOL OF DRUMMING 25 Mary Street, Lewiston • 786-6861 • demersdrumschool@hotmail.com
Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center’s Bike Night
Randy & Linda Ray Randy is a Mid-Maine HOG Chapter Member
Engineering Marvel
"Grammar is not about nouns, verbs and adjectives, any more than history is about names, dates and places. Grammar is about tense, mood and voice, just as history is about trend, climax and change."
In 1968, the Gateway Arch was dedicated in Saint Louis, Missouri. The Arch, which is this nation's tallest monument, is as tall as it is wide. Trivia fans: The Arch has foundations 60 feet into the ground, and is built to withstand earthquakes and high winds. It sways up to one inch in a 20 mph wind, and is built to sway up to 18 inches.
Main St. Music Lessons & Instrument Repair
Picks • Strings Tuners Metronomes
Authorized Fender Service Center 376-3376 8 teachers offering lessons in: Guitar, piano, bass, voice, banjo, mandolin, violin, brass & woodwinds & music theory
We carry quality new & used instruments • Call us for service on any instrument that needs repair.
BAND INSTRUMENTS AND ACCESSORIES ON SALE NOW! 134 Main Street, Auburn • 376-3376 • www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com A humble person never stops learning. – Todd Blackledge
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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In His Glory
"You don't understand anything until you learn it more than one way." – Marvin Minsky
Submitted by Gene Couillard
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the Doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
*
Did you know… Motorcycles
WE RENT! ATV’s & Snowmobiles
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife to fool around. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”
$
from 99/day
Honda/Yamaha Generators from $30/day
Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as Morris gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, “Honey, please... just one more time before I die.”
from $129/day
SUMMER CLEARANCE
SALE August 16th-28th
HUGE SAVINGS! *Renter must be 25 years or older and have a valid Maine driver’s license. Other requirements apply, see dealer for details.
www.centralmainepowersports.com
845 Main Street, Lewiston • 689-2345
"My interest is in the future... because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there." – Charles Kettering
She says, “Of course, Dear,” and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. “Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...” At this point the wife sits up and says, “Listen Morris, enough is enough I have to get up in the morning... you don't.” Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.
The elephant, as a symbol of the US Republican Party, was originated by cartoonist Thomas Nast and first presented in 1874.
Breakfast!
Call ahead for quick service!
Breakfast Sandwiches Breakfast Pizza • Muffins • Bagels Donuts, donut holes, muffins & bagels are all made fresh daily on premises!
Baker’s Dozen 13 Donuts
Only $5.50 1st Donut 45¢ with any coffee purchase!
We bake our own Italian rolls daily!
Lori Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Goddard & Ashley Hamburgers & Pelletier on Lori's Golf Center’s American Iron Horse Slammer Bike Night
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981 Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com
H. O. Double T! The weather, silly.
The bike’s not bad either...
Good Samaritan Reporters and city officials gathered at a Chicago railroad station one afternoon in 1953. The person they were meeting was the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. A few minutes after the train came to a stop, a giant of a man - six feet four inches - with bushy hair and a large mustache stepped from the train. Cameras flashed. City officials approached him with hands outstretched. Various people began telling him how honored they were to meet him. The man politely thanked them and then, looking over their heads, asked if he could be excused for a moment. He quickly walked through the crowd until he reached the side of an elderly black woman who was struggling with two large suitcases. He picked up the bags and with a smile, escorted the woman to a bus. After helping her aboard, he wished her a safe journey. As he returned to the greeting party he apologized, "Sorry to have kept you waiting." The man was Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the famous missionary doctor who had spent his life helping the poor in Africa. In response to Schweitzer's action, one member of the reception committee said with great admiration to the reporter standing next to him, "That's the first time I ever saw a sermon walking." – Author Unknown
Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Behind the scenes at Rainbow FCU
It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.
Assisted Home Care Donna B. Teller at Lincoln St. branch
We are a Home Care service agency providing private duty nursing services 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We offer Certified Nurses Assistants, Personal Care Assistants and Certified Residential Medication Aides. Our name says home care and that is exactly what we provide, professional in home personal care services that allow people to remain in their home and maintain an independent lifestyle.
Home Care Means... Beth Teller at Main St. branch
More proof that men can take a joke!
• More privacy - you get personal care in your own home. • Convenience - continuity of care. • Comfort - being in your own home. • Shorter Recovery Time - people recoup better at home. • Nursing care by qualified caregivers.
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world.
Home C d e t s are si s A
And then God made the earth round.
We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta, Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.
Submitted by Gene Couillard Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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For more information visit us at: 550 College St., Lewiston
783-7375
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 9.3 miles.
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
WE’VE MOVED! To 20 Maple Street in Mechanic Falls
OLD Location McFa Rede lls mptio n
Mc Red Falls emp tion
New Location
We’re in our BRAND NEW location! Be sure to stop in and check out the new place!!
Bring all your bottles and cans. We’ll pay you more!!
Earn
20% MORE with $20 or more in bottles
Earn
Uncle Andy and Jimbo are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Uncle Andy says to Jimbo, "So listen, Jimbo, you know I don't swim so well." Jimbo remembered how to carry another swimmer from his lifeguard class when he was just a kid. So Jimbo begins tugging Uncle Andy toward shore. After twenty minutes, he begins to tire. Finally about 50 feet from shore, Jimbo asks Uncle Andy, "So Uncle Andy, do you suppose you could float alone?" Uncle Andy replies, "Jimbo, this is a heck of a time to be asking for money!"
Twice as Nice A 5-year-old boy was sitting down to eat leftovers when his mother asked him to pray before his meal.
10% MORE with any amount of bottles with this coupon
Mechanic Falls Redemption 20 Maple Street • Mechanic Falls 345-3765 • Open 7 days 9am-5pm
Uncle Andyʼs World
Richard Conway, owner
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
“Mom, do we have to?” the hungry boy asked. “We already prayed over this last night.” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Celebration of Courage hockey tournament
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. -- Martin Fraquhar Tupper
Photos submitted by Toni Ferarro Photography
ONE-DAY ONLY SATURDAY, AUGUST 14TH 9:00AM - NOON
AUTO LOAN RATES AS LOW AS
3.99% APR* 4.99% APR* For up to 5 years
For 6 to 7 years
FAST APPROVALS! Also join us at the
Lake City Exports Open House, 867 Center Street in Auburn, where we will extend the special rates until 4pm
On-site applications with our loan officers Drive away in your dream car that same day!!
BBQ • Giveaways & More! *APR=Annual Percentage Rate. 3.99% rate is available for vehicles financed up to 5 years or 60 months. Payments per $1,000 on 60 months = $18.42. 4.99% rate is available for vehicles financed for 6 years, 72 months or 7 years, 84 months. Payments per $1,000 on 72 months = $16.11. Rates subject to change without notice. Rate is available for one day only on August 14, 2010. Loan must be closed on that date to be eligible for special rate. Refinancing from other financial institutions welcome. No in-house refinancing. Subject to credit approval. Member eligibility required. Some restrictions may apply.
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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. – Aristotle Onassis
Tokyo was once known as Edo.
Out & About with the Maine Health Care Association’s “Live Your Dreams” program in Ellsworth Photos submitted by Ann St. Laurent Footer
Hey, let’s stop at Jordan’s Snack Bar along the way!
We all feel very fortunate to have been able to pay it forward and make Bill’s dream come true!
SAVE VALUABLE TIME! Whether you’re a one-person company or a several hundred-person company, time is an issue. We guarantee you will save time by reducing the hours spent producing payroll information and preparing payroll registers, quarterly, and year to date payroll reports.
PAYROLL MANAGEMENT, INC.
Behind the scenes at Rainbow FCU
100 Manley Road, Auburn
Linda & Ashlee
783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com
Tellers at Main St. branch
"The shortest distance between two points is always under construction." – Noelie Alite
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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n’
si Go Crui with...
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST on the Caribbean
aboard the Radiance of the Seas Radiance of the Seas is a classy, savvy lady. It incorporates the best features of its predecessors: the variety of activity and entertainment options of the Voyager class (like rock climbing), the sleek profile of the Sovereign class, and the global itineraries and wealth of windows, glass doors and canopies of the Vision class.
February 27 to March 5, 2011 Cruise itinerary: Feb. 27 Feb. 28 Mar. 1 Mar. 2 Mar. 3 Mar. 4 Mar. 5
Air from Portland to Tampa – transfer to hotel for pre-night Transfer to ship – Ship departs port at 5 pm Day at sea Costa Maya from 8 am to 6 pm Cozumel from 7 am to 5 pm Day at sea Back in Tampa at 7 am
Check out the great pricing we got... This doesn’t happen everyday! Pricing starts at: Inside cabin Oceanview cabin Balcony SHIP HIGHLIGHTS: Rock-climbing wall • Many restaurants • Themed bars and lounges • Casino RoyaleSM The Colony Club, a unique British colonial-style lounge with self-leveling pool tables African safari-themed Solarium • Indoor/outdoor country club with golf simulator Adventure Ocean® youth facilities • Day Spa and Fitness Center • Sports court with basketball/volleyball court
For more information or to reserve your space contact:
$1224 per person $1324 per person $1414 per person
Prices are based on double occupancy. 3rd & 4th person available upon request
Pricing includes: • Roundtrip air from Portland to Tampa • Pre-night Tampa • 5 night cruise on board the beautiful Radiance of the Seas • Shipboard gratuities • All port charges and taxes • All transfers
Payment Schedule: Deposit of $300 per person is due with reservation form 2nd payment of $300 per person is due no later than Sept. 15th
250 Center Street, Auburn 784-2916 or 1-800-879-3823 or email: tcarpentier@dubetravel.com
Final payment is due December 2, 2010
Come see our completely renovated restaurant Voted L/A’s Best Seafood Chowder 2004 - 2007
Join us for fantastic food & service!! WE’RE BACK ON COURSE! The Vallee family: Norm, Connie, Belinda & Mick
If you think we’re only about seafood…
Think again! We have something for everyone! Like one of these menu items…
Steaks & Prime Rib
Pasta Dishes
Ham & Turkey
Chicken
Delicious Appetizers
Sandwiches
It’s like coming home for dinner. 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com
Out & About at the Shriner’s annual Lobster Bowl golf tournament
By feeding hens certain dyes they can be made to lay eggs with varicolored yolks.
BREAKFAST SPECIALS
We’re going through our mental preparation for this big golf tournament. You gotta visualize putting the ball in the cup!
“All breakfast specials include coffee.”
Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am You asked… we listened! A new brand of coffee!
Fresh steak cut and ground daily. Open Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm
5 Washington St., Auburn I’m visualizing winning the 50/50. Here’s the winning ticket right here!
MONDAY: Two eggs, Sausage, Homefries, Toast.............$3.55 TUESDAY: Two eggs, Cornbeef Hash, Toast.....................$3.55 WEDNESDAY: Three Blueberry Pancakes ........................$3.55 THURSDAY: French Toast .....$3.55 FRIDAY: Two Item Omelette..$3.55
783-4304
SATURDAY: Two Golden pancakes w/Sausage ......$3.55
Phone Orders Are Welcome
SUNDAY: French Crepes .......$3.55
!
Expires 8/31/10
$
1 OFF Any Purchase of $500 or more 1 coupon per order
Prices do not include tax.
"Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep." – Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area
That’s impossible. I know for a fact I’ve got the winning ticket...
71” Plasma 13 Plasma TVs in all G COMIN ! SOON Showing every game, all the time
Pumpkinhead Ale coming in August!
120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done." – Scott Adams
An adult lion's roar can be heard up to five miles away, and warns off intruders or reunites scattered members of the pride.
THE VICTORY
RED TAG EVENT
Licensed Riders Wanted
Out & About at the Shriner’s annual Lobster Bowl golf tournament There’s no mental preparation required for us. We’re ready to golf anytime...
Mental preparation? What the heck is that? This hole is 450 yards. I’ll reach the green in two.
Don’t you Once worry again, Dan, Uncle Andy, I’ll carry you’ve over this promised and team under delivtoday... ered!
596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811 Catnip can affect lions and tigers as well as house cats. It excites them because it contains a chemical that resembles an excretion of the dominant female's urine.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Shriner’s annual Lobster Bowl golf tournament
Chameleons can reel in food from a distance as far away as more than two and a half times their body lengths.
Free extra chain with each Husqvarna saw sold!
On July 25, 1872, one of the most unusual rains in history occurred as thousands of black worms rained from the sky over Bucharest, Rumania. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank." – Woody Allen
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" – Woody Allen
Mario’s of New Gloucester The Little Place with the Great Taste
The Best Pizza Around!
August 9th – 15th only
August Beach Bundle Giveaway!
Lobster Salad Roll with small fry & cole slaw
Enter to win • No purchase necessary
$
7.99
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Drawing on August 21st Bundle includes: 4 Italian sandwiches Bag of chips 2 liter soda and all the gear you’ll need to have a great day at the beach!
Rt. 100 • New Gloucester
Hours: Mon-Fri 8am-10pm • Sat-Sun 7am - 10pm
926-3434 Ray Berube
Jewelry doesn’t fit? Bring it in and get it sized. ALL jewelry repairs done in-house by an expert jeweler. Watch Batteries Replaced • Watch Bands • Ring Sizings • Stone Setting Clasp Replacement • Bead Stringing • Appraisals • Eyeglass Repair
DiamondCut
Jewelers
Lisa
1600 Main St. Rt 26 in Oxford • 739-2300 Always Free Jewelry Cleaning & Inspection Mon-Fri 9-6; Sat. 9-3 • diamondcutjewelers.com
Tammy Gary Mindy
Tuesday & Thursday Specials! 9pm-Midnight Well Drinks
$ 00
4
Don’t forget! Jello Shots Always $1 Any Domestic
$ 00
2
69 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 783-3287 Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10am-1am • Sun Noon-1am Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. – Golda Meir
Denis Lebel Keep perusing... youʼll find more blast from the past photos! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. – Frank Herbert
We work on all equipment… not just ours!
“Dependable, quality service at an affordable price!” Light/Heavy Duty Trucks, Tractors, Trailer Repairs & Service
HEAVY DUTY & EQUIPMENT ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE RATES: • $50/hour on light duty cars & trucks • $65/hour on heavy duty trucks, trailers & equipment • $75/hour on roadside assistance (includes mileage) • Servicing all makes & models of heavy equipment & trucks • Licensed Inspection Station • Hydraulic Hoses made on-site • Light Duty/Heavy Duty Trailers • We Machine Rotors & Drums for Light Duty
Maine Heavy Equipment Service 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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"A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided."
"Perhaps God made the elephant to prove that a vegetarian can rule its habitat." – Robert Brault
CELEBRATING 40 YEARS IN BUSINESS! Locally owned and operated since 1970!
NO JOB TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL
BEFORE
AFTER
Competitive Pricing on
RESIDENTIAL PROJECTS v Site Work v Water, Sewer & Septic v New Driveway Installation CALL US FOR YOUR
FREE QUOTE!
v Demolition v Retaining Walls v Drainage
v Concrete Foundations & Floors
St. Laurent & Sons Excavation, Inc. 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston • 784-7944 www.stlaurentandson.com Fatherʼs Day always worries me. Iʼm afraid Iʼll get a gift I canʼt afford.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Perhaps there should be one day a week when you tackle your "Things I Gotta Undo" list. – Robert Brault
HARRIS BROTHERS PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268 Call us! No Separating Required!
743-3891 HARRIS BROS.
SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARIS MINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD
Out & About at the Celebration of Courage hockey tournament Photos submitted by Toni Ferarro Photography
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Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt are the four US presidents whose faces are carved on Mt. Rushmore.
There are around 2,600 different species of frogs. They live on every continent except Antarctica.
Whether it’s back to school time, or you just need a new look, the professionals at Gregory’s are on the cutting edge!
Out & About at the Celebration of Courage hockey tournament Photos submitted by Toni Ferarro Photography
600 Center Street Shaw’s Plaza, Auburn
Back L to R: Cheryl, Nuria, Tina, Pat, Terry & Kelly. Middle: Amy & Michael. Front: Linda, Cory & Kathy
786-0112
Mon - Fri 9 am - 7 pm • Sat 9 am - 3 pm
www.gregoryshairstyles.com
ANDY’s Baked Beans & Tavern Every Saturday “Love at first bite!” And I don’t mean the dog...
Cheeseburger Chips & Soda
$
4.95
One per customer
47 Broad Street, Auburn • 782-9044 HOURS: Tues. & Wed. 10am-8pm Thurs. & Fri.10am-Close • Sat. 8am-Close
Must have coupon!
Expires 8/31/10
Give Someone a Lift with a bouquet of flowers
Ann’s Flowers 14 Millett Drive, Auburn 782-3457 • www.annsflower.com The world's smallest mammal is the bumblebee bat of Thailand, weighing less than a penny.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Celebration of Courage hockey tournament
The world's largest mammal, the blue whale, weighs 50 tons at birth. Fully grown, it weighs as much as 150 tons.
Photos submitted by Toni Ferarro Photography
Come in for your Back to School Cuts & Styles!
Hair Services • Waxing Manicures • Pedicures 336 Center St. • Auburn
L to R: Candice Lamontagne, Mel Cote, Darcy Ames & Hannah Greene
777-1611
Our stylists are certified in
Call today for your appointment • Walk-ins welcome
Photos submitted by Toni Ferarro Photography
If you have a kid going back to school who doesn’t have a safe and dependable car, come see me and we’ll get you fixed up!
Don Hamel Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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699-707 Center St., Auburn • 1-800-339-7693 or 784-2321
The turbot fish lays approximately 14 million eggs during its lifetime.
The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!
Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.
2 for 1
Monday Night Scrambles
Must present this coupon to receive one free green fee for each paid green fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri. thru Sun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play.
Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63 For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586
Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center’s Bike Night
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Make your own team or sign up as a single Call the club for more information
Senior League EVERY TUESDAY MORNING Call the club for more information
GOLF CLUB AT COLE FARMS
Don St. Germain holding one of his best investments
www.springmeadowsgolf.com
Griz, Craig, Chris & Lori (front)
SAVE GAS - RIDE A GOLF CART
Diane Dubois
• Campers • Senior Citizens • Campground and RV Owners • Free Delivery - 40 mile radius • Conversion Lift Kits • 4 passenger cars
HUGE SALE
1-800-451-1233 • 497 Washington St. Auburn The turkey was named for what was wrongly thought to be its country of origin.
Rich Pelletier Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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studio for hair, nails & massage Christine
Cindy
Emily
Michelle
Elizabeth
Jen
Kathy
Lynn
Our Services • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Cuts, Styles Colors & Highlights Perms Extensions Manicures Pedicures Artificial Nails Facials Massage Reflexology Waxing Eyelash Tinting Arbonne Make-up
Stylist Wanted Call FMI
782-9009 • 20 Coburn Street, Auburn Open Monday-Saturday • www.panachehairandnailstudio.com
The average adult male ostrich, the world's largest living bird, weighs up to 345 pounds.
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Mike Shapiro
Dave Ladderbush “Emptying My Head” 15 years ago it was me that told Andy that he should call his mag Uncle Andy’s Digest!
Lʼil Beth Dow Lovebirds are small parakeets who live in pairs. Male and female lovebirds look alike, but most other male birds have brighter colors than the females.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
SIGNS: In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market! Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping! Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More! VISIT
“THE BOOK NOOK” Debi Wagemann Modern Woodmen of America
Regular Paperbacks $1/each $
3.50 each for most Hardcover Books
Selective Hard Covers $2
Large Selection of Fenton Glassware!
20 OFF %
all Audio Books (books on tape & CD) Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books & Cookbooks Pre-Read Books arriving daily
Inventory Reduction Sale 20% - 70% OFF
Tom Fournier Gipperʼs Featuring
131Vendors Open 7 Days a Week
8 AM - 5 PM We honor: M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA, Am. Express & Discover cards
s Alway g n i Buy
960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149
Dale Spugnardi Gipperʼs Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store
Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area! SIGNS: On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
SIGNS: Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Live Entertainment Fri. Aug. 6 – Simond & Goodwin Fri. Aug. 13 – PRIVATE FUNCTION Sat. Aug. 14 – TBA Fri. Aug. 20 – Brian Patrick Sat. Aug. 21 – Skösh Sat. Aug. 28 – Okbari Belly Dancers
Deli Downstairs Dining Room Upstairs
84 Court St, Auburn
333-3041
September events already in the works...Wine tasting party Sept. 23rd & a womens Jockey fashion show. Call FMI.
www.hollysown.com
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Mon-Tues. 7:30-4:00 Wed-Fri 7:30-10:00 Sat. 11:00-10:00
Donna Noel The Hairem
Holly Mireault, Owner
SIGNS: 'Oh what a tangled web we weave' - Hair Club for Men.
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SIGNS: Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.
Anna Waldman Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Realtor of the Year
Actual church sign: Free Trip to heaven. Details inside!
Finish a full-size omelette and have your picture put on our wall of fame!
Mark Pilot of Coldwell Banker Millett Realty last month was named the "2010 Realtor of the Year for the Androscoggin Valley Board of Realtors". This award is given to one Realtor each year in recognition of their outstanding service to the real estate industry, commitment to our community, education and business success. Mark will be honored again at the Maine Association of Realtors annual convention in Bar Harbor this October, along with 12 other Realtors from throughout the state who have been named their Boards' Realtor of the Year. Mark grew up and has lived here in the local community all his life, was a 1986 graduate of Edward Little High School. He became a Realtor when he was only 19 years old, becoming one of the youngest Realtors in our community. He has been active working on projects to benefit Androscoggin Head Start, scholarship programs for local area students, The Abused Womens Advocacy, the United Way, American Cancer Society and local affordable housing organizations. Mark resides in Minot within his wife, Tina, who co-owns Cut Loose Hair Designs, and their three children, Austin, a student at St. Dominic's Academy, and Abrina and Abigail, who are both students at Trinity School. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Home of the Double Yolker
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& Bakery
Handicap accessible • Breakfast served all day • Superb service Comfortable family atmosphere
5 Pigeon Hill Road Route 26 and 11 , Mechanic Falls • 998-5577 15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
JUSTIN LEARY, LEONARD SHARON & BENJAMIN DETROY
Dick Demers School of Drumming
SIGNS: On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
SIGNS: On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
Free Wi fi
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Out & About at the Realtor of the Year Celebration Photos submitted by Sheila Plummer
BLUES JAM Every Thursday
97 Ash St., Lewiston 783-0668 DRIVING RANGE
RESTAURANT
Aug. 7th
Marble Socket
Aug. 14th
TBA
Aug. 21st
Blood Red Thrust & Ghost Hunter
Aug. 28th
Spawn of Man
MINI-GOLF
The Annual Sock Hop Saturday, August 7th • 7pm-9pm Come dressed in your 50’s attire! A fundraiser to benefit the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
Burgers • Dogs L-A’s Be st Onion Rings Frie s • Ice Cre am
TABERS
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Actual church sign: God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Actual church sign: Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday
Barbie Clement - RDH
TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Actual church sign: If you donʼt like the way you were born, try being born again
Actual church sign: Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church
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TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES
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TaylorBrookDental.com SIGNS: At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Realtor of the Year Celebration
Actual church sign: Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon
dition a r T e n i a AM unt On! o C n a C u Yo
Photos submitted by Sheila Plummer
Hours: Monday-Thursday 6am – 9pm; Friday 6am – 9:30pm; Saturday 6am – 9:30pm; Sunday 6am – 9pm
WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS Served from 10:30-3:30
Monday - Maine Fried Shrimp Tuesday - Fish & Chips Wednesday - Steak Sub Thursday - Grilled Reuben Sandwich Friday - Fried Haddock Sandwich
Great people, great service, great breakfast specials every day, too!
DAILY SPECIALS Monday - 2 Crab Rolls . . . . . . .$7.95 w/Salad & Chips
Tuesday - Yankee Pot Roast . . . .$7.95 w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls
Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . .$6.75 w/Potato & Rolls
Gundegard Sornberger & Everett Strout of the North Yarmouth area
Thursday 2 Lobster Rolls . . . . . . . . . . . .$12.95 w/Salad & Chips
Friday - Lasagna . . . . . . . . . . . .$8.75 w/Salad & Rolls
Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . . . .$8.75 w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Friday & Saturday -
BREAKFAST BUFFET SATURDAY & SUNDAY Served from 7am-10:30am
After 4:00 PM
Prime Rib Au Jus w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Friday, Saturday & Sunday Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock
Adults .............$6.50 6 & under .......$3.50
Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.com JUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Actual church sign: It is unlikely thereʼll be a reduction in the wages of sin
Actual church sign: Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!
Paper Pusher Submitted by Jimbo
A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen. Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspapers came through the gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper. "I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away." The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard's checkpoint. The guard would (continued on next page)
Actual church sign: People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
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(continued from previous page)
always check and find nothing. Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to the supervisor. He walked into the supervisor's office and before he could say a word, the boss said, "You're fired!" "Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?" "It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So you're fired." "Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard." "Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you account for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?"
"A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats." – Anonymous
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D’Avanti Salon
Mindy A Paul Mitchell Color Salon
in the Lewiston Mall • 782-0202 • www.davanti-salon.com Hours: Tues - Fri. 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 (closed Sun. & Mon.) • Appointments Appreciated • Walk-Ins Welcome
CALL FOR NEXT NRA PISTOL COURSE DATES!
We Buy, Sell & Trade Full Line Gun Smith Service Buying small & large firearm collections Check us out!
J.T. REID’S GUNS 86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579 Jamie Pelletier, Manager
Hours: 9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat
John Reid, Owner
Thrill Seekers! The fastest roller coaster in the world, Kingda Ka, opened at Six Flags Great Adventure in 2005. Kingda Ka is launched by a hydraulic launch mechanism to 128 miles per hour in 3.5 seconds. At the end of the launch track, it climbs the main tower, reaching a height of 456 feet. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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THE DECK awaits you…
Pat’s Pizza 784-8221 85 Center Street, Auburn
Sometimes it's more important to be human, than to have good taste. – Brecht
"Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure.” – Eric Allman
Who’s Your Daddy? Newly remodeled & a new larger dance floor • 14 Draft beers to choose from 26 oz. domestic drafts $3 • 26 oz. import drafts $4 • 16 oz. mixed drinks starting at $4.50
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Deck overlooking the Little Androscoggin River - next to the water falls Plenty of parking outback • handicap ramp to bar & deck Air conditioned • Darts • Pool • Free Wi-Fi
Now 2 courtesy vans at Big Daddy’s! FREE Pick-up and drop off available within a 10 mile radius
5 North Main Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-3782
✁
Get your bike tuned up for the Dempsey Challenge Ride
Travis Dow
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Ski & Bike Service 9 North River Rd. Auburn, Me.
784-0103
Stop in for the best products and service in town
Remember Our warm us from Bagel and friendly and Things? Well, we’re right here at service is our #1 priority. Fran’s waiting for you.
Linda Tucker (l) (r) Debbie Lambert
Always Great Homecooked Food at Reasonable Prices
The Best Crepes in L/A Breakfast All Day Lunch Specials
Stop by and say hello. We’d love to see you again! Enjoy our weekly specials!
1485 Lisbon Street • Lewiston (next to Tire Warehouse) • 786-0667
RED SOX Trivia: What is the given first name of Oil Can Boyd, pitcher for the Red Sox from 1982 to 1989? A: Dennis
WHAT FISHING HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE by Travis Dow at 14 1. When in doubt, exaggerate. 2. Everyone has a story about the one that got away. 3. Get reel! 4. The fishing is always better on the other side of the lake. 5. Sometimes you’ve really got to squirm to get off the hook. 6. Take time to smell the fishes. 7. There is no thing as too much equipment. 8. Even the best lines get weak after they’ve been used a few times. 9. Cast everything in the best possible light. 10. Good things come to those who wade. Donʼt stop... Thereʼs lots more blast from the past photos! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
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Out & About at the Support the Troops event Just call me the Sound Guy!
"If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing." – Kingsley Amis
Ray The Electrician LLC RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL “My Prices Won’t Shock You”
The L-A Harley band rocks out!
Office: 225-3360 • Cell: 576-6643 rayele@roadrunner.com
Fully Insured • All Electrical Service Work • Houses • Cottages • Dormitories • Campgrounds • Schools
• Phone Cable • Camera Security • House Alarms • Lead Certified Renovator
PLUS: Steve Grenier of Main St. Music and the L-A Harley Band poses with a Backpacker Guitar, one of the numerous instruments donated that are going to troops in Afghanistan. Thank You to everyone who donated instruments, raffle items and who came out to support this great cause...if anyone else would like to help out with this effort in anyway, please contact me at 754-1233. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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• Install all sizes of generators, from portable to stand-by generators • Install permanent line poles for new housing developments
We answer any emergency call 24 hours a day / 7 days a week Licensed in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont Financing Available • Some Restrictions Apply "There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network." – Guy Almes
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years." – Anonymous
Out & About at the Realtor of the Year Celebration Photos submitted by Sheila Plummer
8/31/10
Actual SIGN: Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
Friday, August 27th
BENEFIT BASH AT LOST VALLEY 6-7pm Happy Hour • 7-11pm Music - Dancing - Entertainment
Tickets $10 ea. All proceeds go directly to the Dempsey Challenge
FOR TICKETS CALL 777-7070 SPONSORED BY KRY AUTO SALES
The average adult raccoon weighs 21 pounds.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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True Wit A snooty tourist, noticing the necklace worn by a safari guide, asked him what it was made of. “Alligatorʼs teeth,” the guide replied. “I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that theyʼre as valuable to you here in the wilds as pearls are back in civilization.” “Oh no,” he grinned. “Anybody can open an oyster.”
Pastoral Faux Pas A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones, whose husband was in the Navy, had sent to him. The note read: “Bill Jonesʼ (having gone to sea) wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.” Reading the note, the clergyman startled his audience by announcing: “Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety.”
Uncle Andy wishes to advise his family and friends that one day he most definitely will grow up - it just isn't going to be today. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The average adult guinea pig weighs 2 pounds.
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ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE
ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126
www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com The average American woman spends 55 minutes per day getting showered, dressed, and groomed.
The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
Reversal Submitted by Jimbo
SUMMER’S END POOL SALE! 16’ x 32’ vinyl liner inground pool
Just $17,900
Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6; Sat 10-2
We sell Swim Spas too!
946-2162 527 Rt. 202 in Greene 1/4 mile north of the IGA on your right
www.futurepoolandspas.com On average, 42,000 balls are used and 650 matches are played at the annual Wimbledon tennis tournament. 13-year-old Anne Frank made the last entry in her diary on August 1, 1944; a diary she had kept for two years while hiding with her family to escape Nazi deportation to a concentration camp. Three days later the Grune Polizei raided the secret annex in Amsterdam, Holland, where the Jewish family was in hiding. Anne died in Bergen-Belsen concentration camp at age 15. An adult porcupine has approximately 30,000 quills on its body, which are replaced every year.
Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't need a tattoo!"
Button Brigade The colonel who served as inspector general in our command paid particular attention to how personnel wore their uniforms. On one occasion he spotted a junior airman with a violation. "Airman," he bellowed, "what do you do when a shirt pocket is unbuttoned?"
The colonel looked him in the eye and said, "Well?"
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I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness.
The startled airman replied, "Button it, sir!"
AUGUST SPECIAL
2 Ham or Salami Italians $ & 2 Fountain Drinks
I couldn't help overhearing a man on his cell phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes."
Brian & Jacob
Grandsons of Beverly at Luiggi’s
In 1900 the average age at death in the US was 47.
At that, the airman nervously reached over and buttoned the colonel's shirt pocket. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at the Realtor of the Year Celebration Photos submitted by Sheila Plummer
If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.
Introducing
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We’d love to have you join us for lunch in our new café!
~ Eat in our café area ~ ~ Call ahead for takeout orders ~
Tina Parker, Jules Patry (owner) & Anthony Sellers
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The greatest efforts in sports came when the mind is as still as a glass lake. – Timothy Gallwey
Canʼt Tax This A businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, “I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”
On Target A group of children were lined up for their first confession. When little Johnnyʼs turn came and the priest asked him to confess his sins, the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.” “That was a very misguided thing to do, my son,” said the priest patiently. “It wasnʼt misguided at all,” said Johnny. “I hit him.” Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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“As you wish,” his friend replied. “But what do you want me to do with your ashes?” The businessman thought for a moment and then instructed, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS. Write on the envelope, ʻNow you have everything.ʼ”
Out & About at Roy’s All Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center’s Bike Night I thought this was Cruise Night. Please forgive me.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass. Psalms 37:5
I’ll be trying out for the part on the new Knight Rider show... wish me luck!
Pastor Joe of Auburn Baptist Church with his '01 Corvette with lots of custom chrome
Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.
Pregnancy in humans lasts on average about 270 days (from conception to birth).
Get yourself published! Submit them on our Facebook page or email to: editor@UncleAndys.com
From a Facebook Fan
132 North Hill Road, Buckfield • (207) 336-2901
8’x8’ Deck Package
2 hp Oil Free Bostitch Air Compressor
Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells? A: Because the b shells were too small. Submitted by Mark Martel
From a Facebook Fan Q: What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? A: Kids eat boogers. Submitted by Sheila Cosgrove Rousseau
From a Facebook Fan
$
448 30 year 3-tab Roofing Shingles
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29/bundle
$
95
164
Q: Why did Tigger bounce his way into the public restroom? A: He was looking for Pooh! Submitted by Jill Polley
From a Facebook Fan
10” Makita Mitre Saw
$
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These great deals & so much more! R.E. Lowell Lumber – Your Full Service Lumber Dealer *All prices good thru 8/25/10
www.LowellLumber.com Average number of eggs laid by the female American Oyster per year: 500 million. Usually only one oyster out of the bunch reaches maturity.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Blow a little "boogie" into it. Submitted by Tina M. Olson
From a Facebook Fan Q: What did Uncle Andy say when he looked into a box of Cheerio's? A: “Oh look, donut seeds.” Submitted by Faith Clarence Vandeymark Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Zsa Zsa Gabor was the first - and only - recipient of a Golden Globe Award for "Most Glamorous Actress." She won the peculiar award in 1958. The category was deleted thereafter.
Professional Home Inspections, Inc.
RP R
Complete Home Inspections Water Testing • Water Radon Air Radon • Lead Paint Testing • Mold Testing Infrared Thermal Imaging
Certified Inspector 72 Old Lisbon Rd. • Lewiston, ME 04240
Tel. 207-782-9663 • Fax 1-207-514-8058 www.RPRPROHOMEINSPECTIONS.COM Email: Roger@RPRprohomeinspections.com Sherri, this one’s good: Two ants were in a sand trap watching a duffer flailing away. "Quick," said the one ant to the other. "Get on the ball before he kills us."
Guess who? His ad is on page 15 And heʼs been in the Digest for 15 years!
Thacher/LaRue MOVIE REVIEW Barbara Clark
Not bad, Barbara. This one is better... A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, "I need a caddy who can count and keep the score. What's 3 and 4 and 5 come to?" "10" said the caddy. "Great, you'll do perfectly!" Out & About at Naples Country Club for the
Sebago Lakes Chamber’s annual golf tournament
Sheri Huff
For your personal or commercial needs contact
BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY Poppy Thacher
Linda LaRue Follow along to see more blast from the past photos. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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LEWISTON
BRUNSWICK
541 Lisbon Street Lewiston, ME 04240 784-4029 • Fax: 784-2360
92 Pleasant St., P.O. Box 679 Brunswick, ME 04011 725-2797 • Fax: 725-6001
The pecan tree is the only naturally growing nut tree in North America. It is native to the Texas, Mississippi and Mexico River Valleys.
The only part of the human body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.
MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC. 84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899
• Residential and Commercial Paving • Sweeping • Seal Coating
Call for FRimEatEes
PAVING
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
I’m gonna miss these glasses some day...
Est
784-5899
WE NOW DELIVER IN L/A Orders over $15…FREE • Orders under $15…$3.00
Check out our menu online at
floriansmarket.com
Tuesday Special
Italians $1.59
i Ham, Veggie or Salam
Stop in and check out our Beer, Wine & Liquor Selection Great Specials on Wine!
L/A’s largest selection of Beer! Find us on Facebook & Foursquare
Adam Dow
Check out our Tuesday Special.... $1.59 Italians!
F~lorian’s Market ~
301 Main St., Auburn 783-9098 / Open 7 Days a Week
WE’VE GOT HANDGUNS! HUGE SELECTION! FREE Bottle of Pepper Spray with any handgun purchase!
Travis Pontbriand Question to Travis Pontbriand 15 years ago: "What do you like about UNCLE ANDY'S DIGEST?" Travis: "It's free!"
Just a small sample of our inventory
Call Matt, Drew or Chris at
Rt. 4 • Turner, ME
225-3432
Just past Twitchell’s Airport
Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210
g3firearms@megalink.net
The only married couple to fly together in space were Jan Davis and Mark Lee, who flew aboard the Endeavor space shuttle from Sept 12-20, 1992.
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Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban
What first-time parents soon realize is that the maternity ward was working on three shifts. We can find all the parts you need for your car repairs...they're all right here in this really big book!
Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
Did someone say that Uncle Andy was here? I heard he was a baseball legend. At least that’s what he said.
Kasee & Kathryn at A-Plus Auto in Auburn Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban
It’s true. Uncle Henry taught me everything there is to know about baseball...
Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
And someone told me he’s still digging out the splinters...
Quote of the day: If you can't make fun of yourself, let me take a crack at it. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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I heard Uncle Andy rode the pine his whole baseball career.
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past."
The Bledowska Desert in Poland is the only true desert in Europe.
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
h
th Wind
5 in Nor
n Rt. 11 ocated o
-8220 am • 892
Mike Bonneau & Dave Nattress F.X. Marcotte Furniture
L
The average American spends 120 hours a month watching television, the equivalent of five complete days in front of the TV.
RESULTS ARE IN! 10 out of 10 families say Thatcher’s in Windham is a must place to eat!!
Steve & Diane McManus
Before or after the beach is up to you…
RESTAURANT 892-9922
Hours: Mon - Sat 11am - 10pm Sun 12 - 8pm
Located at 907 Roosevelt Trail Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere
Dave & Maggie Garry, Owners
The average cat consumes about 127,750 calories a year, nearly 28 times its own weight in food and the same amount again in liquids.
Gary Hemenway Payroll Management Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The word "assassination" was invented by Shakespeare.
HELP WANTED! 1. Are you retired, with gray hair, or maybe bald?
2. Are you looking to re-connect with society, friends, and business associates? 3. Are you a retired teacher, minister, administrator, former business owner – someone with integrity and a strong code of ethics? 4. Would you like to earn a little extra cash to supplement your retirement? Come join our sales team part-time! Put more meaning in your everyday existence. Come help us help other companies become successful. Help us help the economy to grow in our community! Become someone bigger by helping others grow and earn money at the same time.
It’s a WIN - WIN SITUATION! Call or email us to get the scoop.
Uncle Andy’s Digest 9 Grove Street, Auburn 783-7039 • Fax: 777-3898 email: editor@UncleAndys.com www.UncleAndys.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The average cod deposits between 4 and 6 million eggs at a single spawning.
Summer Catering From Weddings to Backyard BBQ’s to Company Parties & More! Try Dad’s Place for your next event!
Call Diana or Larry for more info and pricing
Hot & Cold Buffet-Style Catering Professional service at an affordable price No job too big or too small!
345-9009 There’s NO PLACE like...
Dad’s Place Catering Division
www.dadsplace.info
Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban
The average person laughs about 15 times a day. Unless, of course, they read the entire Digest in one sitting.
Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
We had each others backs...
Register today!
COMPLE TED!
COMPLE TED!
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The average person produces 25,000 quarts of spit in a lifetime, enough to fill two swimming pools.
"One gives up much to become a parent, made easier when two give it up."
6th Annual
Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban
Androscoggin Habitat for Humanity
Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
Golf Tournament
Some players even put on a diving/ sliding clinic
Friday, Sept. 17, 2010 8-8:45AM registration • 9:00 AM shotgun start Springbrook Golf Course - Rt. 202, Leeds
Get your team together and join us on Sept. 17th for a great day of golf and help support this great cause!
Paul Leonard, Allen Sterling & Jerry Junkins
Team & Tee Sponsor $400 • Team Only $240 Includes 18 holes & cart, player gifts, lunch & awards ceremony
Prizes • Contests • Raffles • 50/50 FMI or to register call 786-2598 or visit: www.androhforh.org All proceeds benefit Androscoggin Habitat for Humanity and its continuing effort to eliminate substandard housing in Androscoggin County. The average person releases nearly a pint of intestinal gas by flatulence every day. Most is due to swallowed air. The rest is from fermentation of undigested food.
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Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
The pitchers were dueling
The average person's scalp has 100,000 hairs.
# $
Spend 50 or more
Please mention Uncle Andy’s Digest
Get $10 OFF any order! ROLL TOWELS - ALL TYPES Bathroom Tissue, Trash Liners, Plates, Cups, Napkins, ETC. • Cleaning Chemicals & Janitorial Supplies
NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A AREA!
Stop waiting in line at the Big Box stores for your paper and janitorial supplies! Just call in your order...it’s that SIMPLE!!
No m Minimu Order
wiper & paper
120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com The fans were loving it!
STILL LOOKING FOR ME? CCURATE CCOUNTING & Tax Services, P.A. • Income Tax Returns • Payroll Taxes
JASON HALL Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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• Sales & Use Tax • Accounting Systems
922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005 (Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)
The average person loses an average of 40 to 100 strands of hair a day.
The average person's hair will grow approximately 590 inches in a lifetime.
FALL VACATIONS ON SALE NOW!
Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
Call NOW for a great price! IT’S TIME. KICK BACK. RELAX.
My brother thinks I’m here just to watch his game. I’ll have you know that these ice cream push-ups from the snack shack are the real reason I’m here!
www.dragonflytrips.com • 1-888-222-6846
Go to some really cool places!
Annually, approximately 46 millions Cokes, five million pounds of French fries, and seven million hamburgers are consumed at Walt Disney World Resort.
Out and About at the 2010 Special Olympics in Orono with John F. Murphy Homes Broken Record
Travis asked our JFM friends to raise their hands if they thought Uncle Andyʼs was a gold medal winner – majority rules!
$
579
– $50
Frigidaire 18.2 Cu. Ft. Top Freezer Refrigerator
INSTANT REBATE
-
NOW $
Model: FFHT1826LW • SpillSafe® Shelves: Designed to keep spills contained, making cleanup a breeze • Store-More Humidity-Controlled Crisper Drawers: Keep your fruits and vegetables fresh in our humidity-controlled crisper drawers.
529
after instant rebate 1822 Lisbon Road • Lewiston, ME (207) 786-5555 67 Centre Street • Bath, ME Local: (207) 443-4711 • Toll-free: 800-734-6963 Dill seeds are so small that approximately 10,000 dill seeds would be required to make an ounce.
Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach, Mr. Carlier. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, coach Carlier said, "That record will stand forever." I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
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In the United States, approximately seven billion pounds of chocolate and candy are manufactured each year.
BROTHERS CONSTRUCTION Voted “Best of the Best” 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009 Greater L/A
Replace Your Roof Today! WHAT’S INCLUDED IN ALL OF OUR QUOTES!
We have Workers
• Remove and haul away all roofing debris! • Apply 6 feet of Certainteed ice shield. • Apply 15lb. felt paper on entire roof area. • Install a 30 yr. Certainteed architectural shingle on entire roof! • Installation of ridge vent on entire ridge.
Compensation
783-7299
Email: roofnfools@yahoo.com www.LessardRoofing.com
DO THEY?
783-7299 Senior Citizen Discount
5% Off ANY ROOF JOB with coupon
Buy a roof and adopt Nemo! All shots, spaying/neutering paid for by
Lessard Brothers Construction Come on, rescue a friend today! Nemo & many more animals are available for adoption at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
783-2311
Androscoggin Humane Society • www.gahumane.org
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Nemo
783-7039
783-2311
The eyeball of a human weighs approximately 28 grams (0.987670 oz).
People cannot go wrong, if you don't let them. They cannot go right, unless you let them. – Augustus William Hare
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Weather All Paint is on sale now, starting at
$
23
EasyCare Paint is on sale now, starting at
99
$
per gallon
24
99
per gallon
Donna Steckino I was placing ads before there was ever a Jimbo! Now he thinks he runs the place...
Manager’s Special
Miracle-Gro 2 cu. ft. Potting Mix Reg. $14.99
Now Only
$
8.99 Trisha Marston
Handy Hardware 9 Depot Square, Mechanic Falls
345-2091 Hours: M-F 7am-5pm; Sat/ 8am-5pm; Sun 9am-1pm
The vow that binds too strictly snaps itself. – Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Whoʼs #1?
Face what you think you believe and you will be surprised. – William Hale White
Submitted by Jimbo
I was the new coach of a Little League baseball team and had not yet learned the names of my players. At our first game I called each boy by the number on his uniform. When I yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," Jeff Smith came to the plate. When I called for "Number 7," Steve Heinz jumped up. Then I yelled for "Number 1" but no one emerged from the dugout. Again I called for Number 1. Still no one came forward. As the umpire looked on, annoyed at this delay of the game, I shouted; "Who's Number 1?" That's when the whole team yelled, "We are, Coach! We are!"
Everyday words with references to Greek gods
CURBING PAVING
RETAINING WALLS
Also Offering: Excavating • Demolition • Yard Maintenance House Lots Commercial/Residential Site Work & More!
AUGUST SPECIAL: FREE ESTIMATES Est. 1945
10 lbs. Grass Seed FREE
With purchase of 5 yds. or more of Screened Loam
Call
782-3617
1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • lppoirier@myfairpoint.net Just remember, there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way. – M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Out and About at the 2010 Special Olympics in Orono with John F. Murphy Homes
JFM! JFM! JFM!!
Atlas: One of the Greek Titans banished by Zeus when they sided with his son against him. Atlas was condemned to carry the world on his shoulders. That scene was popular with early map-makers, who regularly put it on the cover of their books of maps. The books themselves eventually became know as atlases. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped. – African Proverb
When you invite trouble, it's usually quick to accept.
Improve the comfort and beauty of your home by creating OPEN SPACES. Our creative team can help raise the value of your home. With our affordable prices, you might be pleasantly surprised by the outcome, and may never want to sell your home. Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.
Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
Coach said not to watch the ball after I hit it... I just can’t help but admire that one!
Think Decks, Garages, & Sunrooms, too!
“The Difference is in the Details”
OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCE
Call 753-9887 or 576-8528
Fully Insured • Many References Available
Out & About with Toni Ferarro Photography Bada Bing...
Why more people choose the Fontaine Team to Get Their Homes SOLD! Empire Rd . . . . . . .Poland . . . . . . . . SOLD in 1 Day Hogan Rd. . . . . . . .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 10 Days Robinson Gardens .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 7 Days Madelyn Ave. . . . . .Topsham . . . . . .SOLD in 12 Days Mitchell Ln. . . . . . .Bridgton . . . . . .SOLD in 6 Days Cary Hill Rd. . . . . .Hartford . . . . . .SOLD in 9 Days Sampson Row . . . .Hallowell . . . . . .SOLD in 17 Days Amos Court . . . . . .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 17 Days Old Greene Rd . . . .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 8 Days Gill St. . . . . . . . . . .Auburn . . . . . . .SOLD in 30 Days
Minot Ave. . . . . . . .Auburn . . . . . . .SOLD in 24 Days Hill Valley Rd. . . . .Poland . . . . . . . .SOLD in 14 Days Starlite Dr. . . . . . . .Wales . . . . . . . .SOLD in 18 Days Surry Lane . . . . . . .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 17 Days Sturbridge Ln. . . . .Cumberland . . .SOLD in 5 Days Broad St. . . . . . . . .Auburn . . . . . . .SOLD in 18 Days Donnelly St. . . . . . .Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 5 Days No Name Pond Rd. Lewiston . . . . . .SOLD in 6 Days Ruby Lane . . . . . . .Wales . . . . . . . .SOLD in 14 Days Garfield Rd. . . . . . .Minot . . . . . . . .SOLD in 12 Days
Bada Boom...
Call 784-3800 The Real Estate Leader to get your home SOLD 336 Center St., Auburn In the Harvard Mall •
www.brendafontaine.com
In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. – Albert Schweitzer
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REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY 95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210 Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings
Bart Kelsea, President (207) 784-6413 There are approximately 2,700 different species of mosquitoes.
Out and About at the 2010 Special Olympics in Orono with John F. Murphy Homes
GARY BAIN
CHRIS BAIN
Leadership.
Determined.
376.3007
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376.3007
East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC
East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC
316 Center St. • Auburn
316 Center St. • Auburn
866.579.ECMG
866.579.ECMG
There are approximately 250,000 sweat glands in your feet.
There are approximately 9,000 taste buds on the tongue.
Good Shot A young boy knocked on a neighborʼs door and explained that heʼd lost something that had ended up in the neighborʼs garage. Surprised, the neighbor agreed to help him retrieve it. When the neighbor entered the garage, he noticed a baseball on the floor and a broken window sporting a baseballsized hole. The neighbor asked the boy, “And how do you suppose this ball got in here?”
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Steve Roop
The boy looked down at the ball, then at the window, then at the neighbor. “Wow!” he exclaimed. “I must have thrown it right through that little hole!” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
Valerie LeCompte
Andy’s Baked Beans, New Auburn Social Club, Rolly’s Diner and Happy Days Diner present
friday nite cruise nites A bi-weekly community event
August 13, 27 50/50 raffle Giveaways
Time: 6pm-8pm Place: Second Street, New Auburn, behind Rolly’s Diner Andy’s Baked Beans will have food specials for cruise cars
Oldies Music
Let’s cruise downtown New Auburn!
Dick Courtemanche
FMI Contact Leroy Walker 577-2694 • email: dmusicman5060@yahoo.com
Who could be next?
There are approximately fifty Bibles sold each minute across the world.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
A Hindu temple dedicated to the rat goddess Karni Mata in Deshnoke, India, houses more than 20,000 rats.
SAVE THE DATE!!
Saturday, August 14th. 9am-4pm. ONE DAY ONLY!
Lake City Exports OPEN HOUSE at 867 Center Street in Auburn ✸ Huge savings & deals on all of our vehicles
Denny Breau
✸ Open House Special Low Rate Financing by
Community Credit Union
✸ One-Hour Live Remote by Maine’s #1 Country Station ✸ BBQ! ✸ Gas Card Giveaways throughout the day! ✸ Balloons for the kids! ✸ Check out our newly remodeled dealership!
Reggie Emery
SPECIAL GIVEAWAY! Stay tuned to The Wolf for more details!
ONE DAY ONLY! SATURDAY, AUGUST 14TH, 9AM-4PM Pone Vattaso & Txao Singcharein Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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867 Center Street in Auburn Call 753-0033 FMI There are approximately 13,000 identifiable varieties of roses throughout the world. (If you donʼt believe us, ask the people at Annʼs Flowers)
Richard M. Nixon is the only US president to have resigned.
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED! Over 200 colors from around the world! We offer a wide range of granite, marble and quartz products and specialize in kitchen and bathroom countertops, shower walls, tub surrounds, fireplace surrounds, mantels, custom granite kitchen tables, granite sinks, and more.
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
We can service your every need anywhere in Maine, NH, VT and MA. No job is too far or too big to handle.
Patricia Caldwell
Also offering Quartz countertops Cambria, HanStone, Silestone, Zodiaq, Caesarstone, Viatera
We template and install all of our work
Norm Gellatly Modern Woodmen of America
If Uncle Andy’s Digest is like an ocean liner, you don’t want to miss the boat!
786-5556 Browse our showroom at
995 Center Street, Auburn Hours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pm www.granitemarblecountertops.net
The last witchcraft trial in England was the trial of Jane Wenham in 1712. She was found innocent.
Jay & Penny Bryant Falls Country Gift Shoppe Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Bill Hunt
You do not have the right to quit trying. (The universe wobbles when you do.) You have the right to quit Toxic People. (They're contagious.) – Dr. SunWolf
Come enjoy these Everyday Specials starting in August Dave St. Germain
Monday: Cheeseburger Deluxe Plate w/FF
Tuesday: 50¢ Wings & Tenders after 2pm
$5.99 Thursday:
Friday:
1/2 OFF Appetizers
Broc. & Cheese Haddock
Fresh Haddock Fish ‘n Chips
w/ rice & veggie sticks
$7.99
(selected menu)
$8.99 Don’t forget to try our Lobster Roll Plate w/ FF and Slaw
Bert Cote Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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$9.99
Wednesday: Reuben Plate w/ FF
$5.99
Saturday: Beer-battered Shrimp w/FF & slaw
$9.99
Thatcher’s would like to welcome TD Bank to the Auburn Mall!
Lobster mixed in-house
782-2135 Hours: Mon. - Sat. 10:30am - 9 pm Sun. 11am - 5 pm
Only one foreign country--Liberia in Africa--has a capital city named after an American president. The capital is Monrovia, named after James Monroe.
The word "coach" is derived from the village of Kocs, Hungary, where coaches were invented and first used.
1ST ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Presented By FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Monday, September 20th at Martindale Country Club
Scramble Format: 8 a.m. Check In • 9:30 Shotgun Start
Cash Prizes • Longest Drive & Closest to Pin Contests On-course Lunch & Much More! $125pp or Early Birds… register before Sept. 1st $500/foursome & get a chance to win $100
Register in person at the YMCA in Auburn at 62 Turner Street or call 795-4095 FMI
Ken Goodman
"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."
SUMMER & FALL PROJECTS Twin Construction can do it! New construction • Remodeling • Roofing Flooring • Windows • Light excavation & more!
Steve Goodman
Certified Lead Safe Renovator
TWIN
CONSTRUCTION
Call 345-TWIN
Buying Distressed Properties
or 576-5494 or 740-0040 The average home size in the United States is now 2,200 square feet, up from 1,400 square feet in 1970, according to the National Association of Home Builders.
Janice Joyner Packard Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at Bessie’s 31st Birthday Party with some of the gang from John Murphy Homes
Now and then it is a joy to have one's table red with wine and roses. – Oscar Wilde
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
A sombrero was required to attend this partay!
Beads were optional...
This photo has been retouched to make the subject look younger.
This is how most people remember Uncle Andy. Some still havenʼt forgiven him.
World Book & Childcraft Call
555-1515
Milestone Andy Marsh recently honored for selling 1000 sets of World Book in L/A area
New & Exciting s! Product
Help Andy Celebrate! Biggest Sale Ever… Entire World Book on CD Rom Only $146.28 What a Christmas Present! (Hint, Hint)
This is an actual ad that ran 15 years ago. (Minus the comment at the top) As you can see, everyone had a good time! My name is Bessie and I approve this message! The gifts were a nice touch, too.
Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities
Service Rental Sales
Do not neglect your Septic System For proper maintenance, it should be pumped periodically.
CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT
G.A. DOWNING CO., INC. 111 Woodman Hill RD Minot, ME 04258 207.782.4508 800.924.4500
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We carry risers, covers, baffle replacements, septic additives.
We must have passed through life unobservantly, if we have never perceived that a man is very much himself what he thinks of others. ~Frederick W. Faber
"It's like this. Father Time keeps pitching the years at us. We swing and miss at a few. We hit a few out of the park. We try not to take any called strikes."
Every year, $1.5 billion is spent on pet food. This is four times the amount spent on baby food.
Available at:
Heating, Air Conditioning & Plumbing 137 Spring Street, Auburn
1-800-287-3246 or 786-3246
Bird eggs come in a wide variety of sizes. The largest egg from a living bird belongs to the ostrich. It is more than 2,000 times larger than the smallest bird egg, which is produced by the hummingbird. Ostrich eggs are about 7.1 inches long, 5.5 inches wide and typically weigh 2.7 pounds. Hummingbird eggs are half an inch long, a third of an inch wide and weigh half a gram, or less than one-fifty-fifth of an ounce.
Out & About at Windham Summerfest Everyone smile if you think Uncle Andy’s was a good neighbor to have at Summerfest...
Human tapeworms can grow up to 75 feet.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE Helping Central Maine with all its electrical needs
Rick Nichols & Sons Excavation Carpentry & Small engine repair 345-9586 or 754-9586
Blackie’s Farm Fresh Produce
Open Year Round
Free estimates Fully Insured 14 years experience
centralmaineelectrician.com
1525 Lisbon Street Lewiston ME, 04240 783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706 Fax: 783-2873 Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4
S A N I PLUS
ADD A NEW BATHROOM FOR YOUR CELLAR
908 Minot Ave. • Auburn • 786-0005 Hours: 6am - 8pm
No Need for Chiseling or Building Up a Floor Base
996 Sabattus St. • Lewiston • 783-7020
ne Gro Compost i a M Exceptional Quality Biosolids Compost $7.00 per cubic yard (small pickup load) (bulk discounts available for 100 yards or more)
Sold Tuesdays, Fridays & Saturdays 8-5
The S A N I PLUS is the answer for most toilet and bathroom situations. It can be installed up to 15 feet below the sewer level and/or 150 feet away from a soil stack. The S A N I PLUS is simple to install, pumps away waste water from a toilet, hand basin, bathtub and shower, and is connected to a low consumption toilet.
FREE Discover Scuba Session with this Ad
Emma on her first dive
If you ever wanted to try Scuba Diving, here’s your chance. Come join us in confined waters using the latest gear.
Gardener’s Black Gold!
Call 784-7300 for an appointment
782-0917
Barclay s Skindivers Paradise
Lewiston-Auburn Water Pollution Control Authority 535 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
www.skindiversparadise.com
Up to $1,500 Tax Credit When you purchase one of our high efficiency wood stoves, pellet stoves or inserts!
FIRESIDE STOVE SHOP Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Professional, knowledgeable advice 1220 Center Street, Auburn • 784-9249 Hours: Mon - Fri. 9:00 - 5:00 • Sat 9:00 - 5:00 The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
We can install your new stove!
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
Attention Water Well Owners! A-Z Water Systems is offering a 17 point well & water pump test for only $99 What many well owners don't know is that by correcting well issues early on you are able to avoid unnecessary headaches and expenses in the future. Did you know that if your pressure tank is unbalanced or if your pump motor is showing grounds it will result in a distinctive rise in your household energy consumption and also shorten the lifespan of your pumping system? This inspection will show any energy loss and any performance issues with your systems and have confidence that your system is functioning at its PEAK performance.
WE’LL INSPECT BOTH
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
FREE Water Test with well & pump test
PEACE OF MIND
with clean drinking water
Just as you would have your furnace serviced once a year or your car oil changed every 3,000 miles your well and water system should be maintained too. Call now to book your appointment & get peace of mind knowing your water is safe to drink and your well system is reliable for the foreseeable future.
A-Z Water Systems
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
Dan Cunliffe II Republic Jewelry
152 Yarmouth Road, Gray
766-6210
No, take his picture!
Enjoy some of the photos from the past... No, take his picture!
Paul Morin & Jules Patry
Tom Larrivee
ULTIMATE EXTERIOR HOUSE PAINT The Ultimate In Looks and Life • Outstanding color retention in flat, mid-gloss, high-gloss and soft gloss sheens • Superior adhesion to oil and latex • Highest performance on any paintable surface • Useable on wood, metal, concrete, stucco, brick and more
Engineering By The Gallon. Since 1894 Ultra • Ultimate Superfinish • Power Hide Lumber Jacket • 2205 • 563
516 Sabattus Street • Lewiston • 784-1993 • M-F 7am-5pm, Sat. 7:30am-1pm
www.lewistonpaint.com
From the makers of Spackle®
"Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter." – Anonymous
Beth Francis The original graphic designer for Uncle Andyʼs Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
"In your own eyes, do justice, and let others determine if it be charity." – Robert Brault
Enjoy some of the photos from the past... I taught Uncle Andy everything he knew about photography. He obviously didn’t retain any of it!
NEW STYLE FIBERGLASS POOLS Ready f r immediao installatite on
Russ Dillingham
Out & About at the 13 year old Babe Ruth All-star tournament hosted by Auburn Suburban Photos submitted by Karen Johnson
District 3 Champs: Tri-County South Mark Vasiliauskas Samʼs
Dave Sheloske Foreign Car Service Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Front: Corey Cunliffe, Zach Sheehan, Lukas Johnson, Sam Vankirk & Nick A.R. Back: Coach Jim Marston, Tanner Marston, Kaleb Bridgham, Billy Bickford, Manager Bill Bickford, Shawn Murphy, Donny Eaton, Jake Simard & Coach Pat Murphy
"In the end it comes down to whether those who are willing to die for liberty are all dead." – Robert Brault
HOW IT ALL STARTED 15 YEARS AGO... in Uncle Andy ville The cover of our first ever Uncle Andy’s Digest. August, 1996 Then: 24 pages 61/2” x 101/4” Currently: 104 pages 8” x 101/2” Then: One employee, Uncle Andy. Big Gare (Andyʼs grade school buddy) was the second, brought in kicking and screaming in November, 1996. (Basically to save Andyʼs butt).
Michele Farrar with her Now: futureJimbo husband, joins the Big Head Todd &2002. team in August, OurStevens team now inDenise cludes: Maggie, Travis & Marty.
Then: Uncle Andy thought he had discovered a way to make a lot of money without working. Now: It took 15 years, but heʼs realized that this isnʼt the way to make a lot of money. And heʼs never worked harder in his life.
Then: Uncle Andyʼs office is in his cabin in Otisfield, then to Big Gareʼs house in Auburn. Eventually to Sabattus St. in Lewiston, where they were for 5 years. Now: Located in our permanent home at 9 Grove St. in Auburn. Overlooking Center St. Across from Patʼs Pizza.
Uncle Andy and the whole crew want to thank all of our advertisers who have stuck with us throughout the years. We couldnʼt have done it without you! THANK YOU!! Uncle Andy says, “Iʼm looking forward to the next 10-20 years.”
Uncle Andy couldnʼt let it go without a sales pitch... He wants everyone to know weʼre in our 15th year in business. Call him, Travis or Jimbo now at 783-7039 to take advantage of our affordable pricing to advertise your business. Weʼve got a price that will fit in your budget!
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition.
"Do animals ever question their Maker? Perhaps not, and yet... there is this howling at the moon."
Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition Debris Boilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed
Summer is a great time to clean out attics, cellars & garages! Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!! Peter Cook
Property Services Especially Foreclosures Trash outs, Lock changes & secured, Cellars pumped Demolition (one room or the whole building) Roofing, painting porches and other light repairs
Farrell Enterprises Linda Beaulieu Geez, Dad is always on the phone!
Great! You saw my ad in Uncle Andy’s Digest!! We’ll be right over...
CALL US FOR A FREE QUOTE!
Fully Insured Linda & Jimmy Simones Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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783-7039
782-5300 or 576-2501
Paul & Mike Farrell
"Life is a series of stages, each preparation for the previous."
"Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him." – James Allen
15 years ago Uncle Andy’s came out with their first ever edition. Enjoy some of the photos from the past...
Bart Kelsea
George Allen
Deb Wagemann*ChFC 800-561-8506 Oxford/Auburn
ASK THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST Ronald E. Chicoine, M. D.
"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day." – Alexander Woollcott
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
783-7039 103
You canʼt do it unless you can imagine it. – George Lucas
AUGUST SPECIAL GREAT SELECTION OF USED CARS
FULL AUTO RECON
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Shop Online at lakecityexports.com 06 MINI COOPERS
*
99
*Most autos
Call for appointment WE DO Headliners & Impossible Stains
Sat., Aug. 14th BBQ - Giveaways
SPECIAL PRICING!
04 MAZDA3 S
$
OPEN HOUSE
$
7,990
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio AS LOW AS $
12,490
5-Speed, Alloy Wheels, 98k, Sunroof, CD Changer, Fog Lights, Remote Locks/Trunk
2 to Choose From! 5-Speed or Auto, Leather, Roof, CD, 32MPG, 168HP, ABS, Traction Control
03 JEEP LIBERTY SPORT
05 SCION TC
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
6,290
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
10,990
Raymond’s
4x4, Auto, V6, Tow Pkg., CD, Roof Rack
Dual Sunroofs, 5-Speed, Premium Wheels, 62k, CD, ABS, Tinted Glass
Reconditioning
06 HONDA CIVIC EX
06 AUDI A6 QUATTRO 2.7T
Call for an appointment
240-0773
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio AS LOW AS $
10,990
Coupes - 2 To Choose From! Auto, VTEC, Loaded, CD, ABS, 38MPG, Sunroof
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
10,990
V6 Twin Turbo, 250HP, AWD, CD Changer, Automatic, Premium Wheels, Leather & Woodgrain, 69k, and lots more
867 Center Street, Auburn Adam Raymond, Owner Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
104
& Jimbo
AUGUST 2010
783-7039
753-0033 753-0033 "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." – Thomas Edison