WHAT’S IN THE BAG? What do the Scandi kids have in their funny satchel things?
more obnoxious and sticky. The children are also known for leaving copious amounts of empty bottles around town, particularly tiny spirit bottles. One has to assume they drink so many tiny bottles as they are the only thing that fit in these silly little bags.
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It is odd that the children seem to pre-drink so much given that when they get to the club they start (literally) burning the pocket money their parents gave them for the trip and pouring champagne down the sink, just to flaunt ‘their’ wealth. This disparity leads me to believe that their shoulder mounted fanny packs are actually full of fake 50€ notes for fake ostentatious displays of wealth. Another possibility we have been investigating, is that the kids keep copious amounts of rubbish in their bags to spread around town. There is just no way they could litter such a colossal amount if they weren’t saving it up over the year - it would also explain how the Scandinavian states are allegedly so good at recycling.
We have all seen the trend of youths wearing bum bags over their shoulders. In wider culture, these bags seem to be largely limited to wannabe road men. However, it seems like every other Scandi child is sporting one. So what is the deal? Despite Scandis being supposedly known for their very trendy style, it looks like the kids here on holiday haven’t got the memo. With jeans and chinos so tight that they could be leggings, it is unsurprising that they are unable to carry anything in their pockets. How are you meant to get out your wallet to purchase a bottle of ‘spray’ for the Danish national anthem if it’s wedged in your trousers? Talking of ‘spray’, we have to assume that these bags are also used to transport carbonated substances that can be used to cover their friends. Think: CamelBak but
Scandinavia does actually have a fair few legit ski brands such as Hagloffs, Hestra and Helly Hansen, to name a few beginning with H. However, the Scandi kids appear not to have realised as we have seen some truly hideous getups this week. The most horrific outfits seem to always be partnered with a silly, over the shoulder slung bum bag. This has lead us to believe that the gross apres-wear that so many Scandi children have been fooled into buying is so Apres oriented that they actually don’t have a lift pass pocket. Imagine that, 60,000k waterproofing for the ‘spray’ but you still have to bring a bumbag for your lift pass! One thing you are unlikely to find in a lot of these bags is any form of ID. We call them the Scandi children since they behave as such, but seemingly a fair few of them are literally children below the age of 18. I have seen two instances of actual Scandi
