VFM December/January 2012

Fargo-Moorhead’s Biggest Family Events Calendar

December/January 2012

Life in the NICU Remedies for WINTER SKIN Virtual Worship

Save on Your Taxes

There has never been a better time to show your commitment to North Dakota’s children with a new expanded state tax credit. North Dakotans may now receive a 40% tax credit for gifts made to endowments of charities such as The Village Family Service Center.

40% for Individuals Contributions of $5,000 or more (cash or planned gifts) will qualify for a 40% tax credit of up to $10,000 per person or $20,000 for a married couple. A donor in the 28% tax bracket may see these benefits: GIFT AMOUNT Federal Tax Savings North Dakota Tax Credit

$5,000 -1,400 -2,000

$50,000 -14,000 -20,000

Net cost of gift:

$1,600

$16,000

This is an advertisement

40% for Businesses & Financial Institutions C corporations, S corporations, estates, limited liability companies, and trusts may qualify for a 40% tax credit, up to a maximum credit of $10,000.

For more information on making a qualifying gift, please contact Janet Zinke at The Village.

701-451-5036 or jzinke@TheVillageFamily.org

The Children’s Village Family Service Foundation was created solely to support the ongoing work and legacy of The Village Family Service Center. The Village is North Dakota’s oldest child-caring agency and has served North Dakotans throughout the entire state since 1891.

YOUR FAMILY z letters to the editor December/January 2012 Vol. 15, No. 6 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Advertising Sales Tabetha Hurtt Food & Fun Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Lyman Edds, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Matt Leiseth, Dale Mowry, Michelle Powers, Joy Query, Dan Ulmer, Shane Waslaski

For advertising information, call (701) 451-5000 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@TheVillageFamily.org Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2011 The Village Family Magazine.

All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark.

The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising.

The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.

Hello there! My name is Kim and I picked up a copy of your spectacular magazine at an Informational Fair in Grand Forks. I thoroughly enjoyed the magazine and read it from cover to cover. I plan on sharing it with my co-workers, but only after they promise to return it when they are done reading it. I am adding this magazine to my “Pile-OResources” bookshelf!

Kim Waswick, LSW Valley Eldercare Center Grand Forks, ND

YOUR FAMILY z from the editor After six and a half years with The Village Family Service Center, I have been chosen to oversee our wonderful bi-monthly, The Village Family Magazine. I’m Kelly Lynch and I’m thrilled to be the new editor.

There is nothing like this magazine in Fargo-Moorhead. We are dedicated to families. In fact it’s our mission to educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.

I grew up the seventh child in a family of eight children. I’ve been married for 25 years and have three sons. I read books, enjoy watching HGTV and the Food Network, dislike formal exercise, and think every day is a little better when chocolate is involved.

In this issue, my first as editor, I am excited to share a fantastic array of articles and information.

• Our feature takes us into the world of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Three families tell us in their own words what it’s like to have a baby in the NICU. • Writer Roxane Salonen shows us how some churches are taking advantage of virtual worship to reach congregants who cannot physically attend local services.

• Student loan debt is getting out of control—now exceeding consumer credit card debt—and we have some advice on what people can do to rein in the “beast.”

• And who can forget the holidays? Chunky Chocolate Treats (recipe on page 45) make a great hostess gift or a nice addition to your own assortment of holiday goodies. Our Food & Fun editor shares two holiday projects: an easy, decorative candle and a more complicated bangle bracelet ornament.

• In our book section, all of the books we reviewed for this issue have a North Dakota connection. They are good “reads,” available locally and would make nice gifts, too.

I want to thank all the readers who responded to our reader’s survey in the last issue.

One lucky respondent wins a photo session from Stevie Rae Photography. We’ll post the winner’s name on our Facebook page—check it out (and LIKE us, too)!

As I’m finishing up this letter, I’m listening to Grammy nominated singer Francesca Battistelli belt out the words from her song, “This Is The Stuff.” It’s a fantastic song that reminds us that amid all the distracting “stuff” in our frantic, frenzied, everyday lives, we are blessed—always a good thing to remember.

From our magazine family to your family: Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for the New Year!

About the Cover Photo Chase, one week old.

Photography by Ria Lee Photography (see ad on page 9)

Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

4 December/January 2012

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December/January 2012

departments z consumer

6 Home Remedies for Winter Skin

What do you have in your pantry or refrigerator? Perhaps it’s the ingredients for an effective skin moisturizer. z feature

14 Life in the NICU

The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), filled with machines, monitors, scrub-clad medical staff, and Isolettes, often becomes a second home for parents of preemies.

Experience the NICU through the eyes of three families who share their journeys. z money

20 Student Loan Crisis Takes its Toll on Graduates

Are you or someone you know one of the hundreds of thousands of college graduates struggling with student loan debt? Learn about the variety of solutions to lighten your repayment load. z spirituality

34 Virtual Worship

Discover how local Christian churches are catering to worshippers all over the county by providing services online. z do-it-together

38 Capturing Your Family’s Story

Gather the family and take time to listen, tell, and preserve the stories that make your family unique. We show you how. z parenting

42 Single Parents in College

Four single-parent college students in the F-M area give us a quick glimpse into their busy schedules, daily obstacles, devotion to their children, and hopes for the future. in every issue z gary’s opinion........... 9

z events calendar........ 24

z books & movies....... 10

z food & fun................ 45

z mom’s view.............. 12

z words & wisdom...... 46

z dad’s view................ 13

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By Heidi Tetzman Roepke

At winter’s harshest, we take extra steps to protect ourselves. We may get a flu shot. We try to keep ourselves and our little ones cozy with sweaters and layers and blankets. We warm up from being outdoors with a steaming hot mug of cider or cocoa, or some chicken noodle soup. But amid the bustle of the busy season, we might forget that our skin also needs soothing and protection.

The cold, crisp air and biting wind outside, combined with the dry, brittle air inside this time of year can make skin itchy, flaky, ashy, and rough. It’s important to protect and nurture your skin, no matter what the season. These simple steps can truly make a difference.

Use Water Wisely: Since water can actually dry out skin more by stripping natural oils, taking shorter baths and showers during winter can help. Staying hydrated by drinking six to eight glasses of water a day (more depending on your activity level) flushes out impurities and keeps skin supple.

Exfoliate Gently: Opt for a softer body puff to lather up. Washcloths and loofahs can be too irritating for dry skin this time of year. The same goes for exfoliating facial cleansers and body washes—forgo the larger-grained scrubs and instead slough off rough spots by adding a bit of baking soda to your usual facial cleanser or body wash for a finer, gentler exfoliation experience.

Block Out the Sun: We don’t get a break from the sun’s damaging UV rays during winter. Sunlight bouncing off of snow only intensifies them. Experts advise using a sunscreen with an SPF 15 or more on all exposed skin before going outside in the winter. If you’re planning on skiing or snowboarding, it’s important to remember that UV rays are more intense at higher altitudes, so don’t hesitate to slather it on. Don’t forget lip balm with an SPF, too. This delicate, easily chapped skin needs extra TLC when the temperatures fall.

While these steps will ease itchy, rough winter skin, some degree of dryness, for most of us, is inevitable. Winter is the perfect time to experiment with

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YOUR FAMILY z consumer natural home moisturizing remedies. A good recipe can smell and feel amazingly fresh and luxurious, while bringing life and much-needed moisture back to skin. An added bonus—you know exactly what’s in it and can avoid drying ingredients like alcohol or other harsh chemicals.

Many home moisturizing remedies can be created from products purchased at your local grocery or big box store. I selected four recipes to test and headed off to the grocery store for my first round of ingredients.

hand for the winter months ahead.

entire amount, which didn’t feel like too much to me. Adjust the amount to your liking. Soak for at least 15-20 minutes, then pat dry with a towel. Try not to rub the skin. Store any unused milk and honey mixture in a lidded container in the refrigerator for up to a week.

Comments: This recipe felt luxurious and rich, and I didn’t want to get out of the bath. The only drawback was having to rinse the oatmeal remnants down the drain after, but this wasn’t a huge deal. My skin felt soft, and I will keep this recipe on

These are just a few ideas among endless homemade recipes you can use to beat dry winter skin. The flexibility of using all-natural, homemade recipes means you can experiment and adjust, and find what works best for you. Have fun and stay warm!

Heidi Tetzman Roepke is a freelance writer and copy editor/ page designer at The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead. She lives in Fargo with her husband, Dave, and their cat, Sahara.

Homemade body butter: 7 tablespoons olive oil (you can try others, like jojoba, almond, sesame, macadamia, or grape seed); ¼ cup aloe vera gel; ¼ cup water; 1 tsp. Vitamin E for natural preservative; 6 tablespoons cocoa butter; and essential oils (optional), lavender or lemon are good choices. Cost: $9.68.

Instructions: You’ll need a glass measuring cup, a heavy glass bowl to mix butter and oils, a larger bowl to create an Avocado face mask: ½ ice bath, a hand mixer, and a soft avocado (outside is a storage container for the finished dark color and gives a little butter. Melt the cocoa butter in to the touch); ½ banana; and the microwave in a glass, liquid 1 egg yolk. Cost: $0.90 per measuring cup. This takes about The wonders of oatmeal: mask. four to five minutes. As that The oatmeal bath is an old home remedy that Instructions: Mash is melting, combine the other has been recommended to soothe a plethora of avocado and banana, add egg ingredients—olive oil, aloe vera skin discomforts including chicken pox, rashes, yolk and mix well. Apply gel, Vitamin E, and water, in the bug bites, and eczema. to face using your fingers, heavy glass bowl. Prepare an ice avoiding your eyes and bath by filling the larger bowl The wonders of Crisco®: mouth. Wash off after 10 with ice. When the cocoa butter Many people proclaim the benefits of Crisco® minutes. has finished melting, set the shortening as an effective skin moisturizer.

Comments: This is not glass bowl into the larger bowl, a glamorous process. My with ice in between. Add the hot, husband says when I do a melted cocoa butter to the cool face mask it “freaks him ingredients in the glass bowl. The out,” so I’m sure he was relieved I decided to try this recipe ice bath helps the mixture to solidify faster. Use a hand mixer after he had gone to bed. It smelled fresh and felt even better. to blend until emulsified—10 to 15 minutes. Turn glass bowl And, it was super easy. After I rinsed it off, my face felt soft as you are mixing. Keep mixing until thick. Transfer finished mixture to a storage container with a lid. Makes about one cup. and moisturized—not oily or sticky. It tackled any trace of Comments: This was the most ambitious endeavor during dryness, and I would definitely try this again. my venture into home moisturizing remedies, but was still a Oatmeal, milk, and honey bath: 1 ½ cups whole milk; relatively simple process. I can’t say it resembled what the 1/3 cup honey; 1 cup oats, (I used old-fashioned oats, but original recipe said it would. If I were to make it again, I would unflavored instant oatmeal or quick oats will work just as adjust the amounts, perhaps using less olive oil, or a lighter well); and 10 drops lavender or other essential oil for aroma oil, especially after having my husband try it on his hands. His (optional). Cost: $2.10. blunt assessment: “greasy.” I’d also perhaps reduce or leave Instructions: Blend oats in a blender or food processor out the water. The original recipe said I should stop blending on the highest setting until you have a very fine, consistent the mixture when it turned from yellow to cream-colored, and powder. Set aside. Mix together milk and honey in a liquid the consistency resembled cake frosting. Despite 15 minutes measuring cup (add essential oil if you like). Sprinkle all the of blending with a hand mixer, it never lost its golden hue, oatmeal into the tub as the water is running. Stir the water with and the consistency was more like a pudding or a whipped your hand or foot to evenly distribute the oatmeal, breaking lotion, rather than a thick body butter. That doesn’t mean this up any clumps. Add the milk and honey mixture to the bath isn’t a potent moisturizer. I used it sparingly after an oatmeal, and stir the water again. The original recipe calls for using milk, and honey bath, and it was more than enough. I would only half the milk and honey per bath, but I found that the two recommend taking it easy until you know how much you need. ingredients didn’t really mix together very well, so I used the

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December/January 2012

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Moorhead Early Childhood Family Education

Building Blocks for Your Child's Future Check out our Baby Connection classes!

Bring your baby and learn, grow and play together with other families.

Proof Stamp

Date: ____ Look for the 2012 Winter/Spring Parenting Press featuring our spring ECFE classes, coming out in January!

OK__ Changes__

218-284-3400

Signature________________ https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us A Community Education Program of the Moorhead Area Public Schools

8 December/January 2012 family

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family April/May 2011 45

YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Don’t Occupy Wall Street; Occupy Common Sense

By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center My, don’t we live in interesting times? We have large numbers of “protestors” in New York and elsewhere raising hell about something or other. They Wolsky don’t seem to know exactly why they’re demonstrating—just that it has something to do with Wall Street and the housing meltdown, the current recession and well, whatever.

We’re being led to believe that, we too, as citizens should be angry at Wall Street and the banks for “doing this to us.” I’m more than a little bit suspicious of this. Before banks, we were to be outraged by other elements of our business community for what they were “doing to us”: Fat cat entrepreneurs who had the audacity to fly jets, big oil, big pharmaceuticals—the list goes on ad nauseam. The only people exempt from our anger are those in big government, and there lies the biggest problem of all.

A little research into the banking/ housing debacle takes us back to 1977 when Congress passed the Community Reinvestment Act (12 U.S.C. 2901). Its purpose was to encourage banks to “help meet the needs of the communities in which they live.” Sounds innocuous enough, right? It sounds almost noble in its intent. Makes me want to stand up

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come out like a bell curve, as most things in nature look. The simple fact is we are not created equally. Not everyone is born with an equal amount of IQ, personal drive, charisma, initiative, etc. Nothing—absolutely nothing—a political system does can artificially compensate for this. Karl Marx, in the mid-1800s wrote, “Workers of the world, unite!” in his Communist Manifesto. The rich were cited then, not unlike how the rich are cited now, as being at the core of our problems. It is beneath us to buy into this fallacy.

Amidst all this craziness, I must say I remain an optimist. I have a great deal of faith in the common sense of ordinary people, and that ultimately we can and will put people in positions of political influence and authority that reflect good values, an accurate sense of what’s worked (or not) throughout history, and a sensible world view. We don’t do this by living in tents on Wall Street. We do this by going to the ballot box. We are about to arrive at a moment in our country’s history that could have unspeakable consequences!

The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

and salute something.

However, what this has metastasized into is a very real nightmare of Congress setting policies that demanded that far too many loans be issued to far too many people who simply had far too little ability to qualify for them. The data on the volume and recklessness of poor quality loans which were shoved out the door is stunning.

Was there an element of greed involved from the banks, mortgage companies, and individuals who participated in this problem? Absolutely.

There were apparently questionable practices at virtually every step along the way. However, why do we as a country refuse to indict the very policy (that emanated from Congress) which was at the root of this problem? How is it that we continue to deny that “central planning,” whether it comes from Washington, D.C., Moscow or Havana doesn’t work and has never worked?

For many decades and over many administrations, we have been drifting toward what we have become today.

I’m saddened when I’m, almost daily, encouraged to despise the very entrepreneurial spirit, capitalism, and respect for personal success that has made this country great.

There will always be tension in a society based on the distribution of “success and wealth.” If allowed to unfold without interruption, it would

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© 2011 - DreamWorks/Touchstone

TM & © 2011 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All rights reserved.

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

“War Horse”

“Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” Not Yet Rated In Theatres Dec. 16 The world’s most famous detective, Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.), teams up with his venerable sidekick, Dr. Watson (Jude Law), to take on a new criminal mastermind—Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris). Moriarty’s shrewdness and intellect rival that of the legendary sleuth, but his capacity for evil and lack of conscience make him the supreme villain.

When the Crown Prince of Austria is found dead, it is ruled a suicide. But the clever, cunning, and curious Sherlock Homes suspects the prince has been murdered. In pursuit of the truth, Holmes and Watson track the clues from England to France to Germany and finally, to Switzerland. In true Sherlock Holmes fashion, the duo mixes business with pleasure and teams up with a Gypsy fortune teller, Sim (Noomi Rapace), who agrees to help them in their quest. Moriarty is always just one step ahead of the trio leaving a path of death and destruction as part of his plan to alter history. http://sherlockholmes2.warnerbros.com

PG-13 In Theatres Dec. 25 Director Steven Spielberg will delight audiences this holiday season with his epic adventure, “War Horse.” It is the tale of an extraordinary relationship between a young man named Albert and a horse named Joey, forcefully separated when the horse is sold to the cavalry in World War I. The story of trust, hope, and resolve is set in rural England and Europe. Adapted from the children’s novel, “War Horse” follows the horse’s journey through the war and Albert’s interminable intent to save him. Starring Jeremy Irvine, Emily Watson, and David Thewlis. www.warhorsemovie.com/

PG In Theatres Dec. 16 On November 1, 2011, the high-pitched rodent trio of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore became part of Hollywood history by leaving their paw prints permanently stamped outside the Hollywood’s Chinese theater.

In December, the Chipmunks hit the big screen. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are up to their usual shenanigans. While on a vacation cruise, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes somehow go overboard and end up stranded or “chipwrecked” in a remote, tropical paradise. True to form, the Chipmunks sing, dance, and entertain as they try various schemes to find their way back home. Starring Jason Lee as Dave and the voice talents of Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, and Jesse McCartney.

Compiled from various sources.

© 20th Century Fox

10 December/January 2012

© Paramount Pictures

“Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked”

“The Adventures of Tintin” PG In Theatres Dec. 21 This 3D motion picture event, filled with globe-hopping adventure, follows the enormously curious reporter named Tintin and his ferociously loyal dog, Snowy, as they uncover an explosive secret. Tintin is drawn into the mystery and finds himself pursued by a diabolical villain who believes Tintin has taken a priceless treasure. With the help of Snowy and a cast of kooky characters, Tintin encounters menacing criminals and high jinks as he searches for an ancient shipwreck that may hold the key to an immense fortune. This animated adventure stars Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, and Daniel Craig. http://www.us.movie.tintin.com/

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YOUR FAMILY z

Books with North Dakota connections.

“Missing My Best Friend”

By Norma Thorstad Knapp Illustrated by Faythe Mills Children’s Fiction In “Missing My Best Friend,” author Norma Thorstad Knapp has crafted a story about the power of friendship between two young boys, the subsequent grief when one boy dies, and the power of a family’s love.

Told through the eyes of a young boy, this is a beautifully written and illustrated book about one boy’s grief, how his family is affected, and how parents and grandparents gently help him cope and heal. With honesty, compassion, and sensitivity, Knapp’s evocative and comforting words address issues children have when someone they care about dies unexpectedly. “Missing My Best Friend” is an insightful story to read aloud with children to encourage a conversation about an important and challenging topic.

Faythe Mills’ soft pastel drawings poignantly capture the tender nature of children’s friendships and the healing power of love.

Knapp grew up in western North Dakota, Idaho, and Oregon and lived in the F-M area for nine years. Available online at www.normaknapp.com or at Melberg Christian Book & Gift, Moorhead.

—Courtesy of Norma Knapp

“How Fargo of You”

By Marc de Celle Adult Nonfiction It’s difficult to explain to those who’ve never experienced the community of Fargo. Everyone around you is so nice. I mean, truly nice. It doesn’t matter if it is 30 degrees below zero or a heat advisory—there is a genuine feeling of caring and kindness here. Writer Marc de Celle was amazed by the heartwarming gestures of his new friends and neighbors when he and his family moved to Fargo in 2005. As a way fargostuff.com to savor its ‘Fargoness,’ de Celle decided to write about his experiences of the random acts of kindness that made him think, “How Fargo of You.” This is the perfect book to share with outsiders and anyone who has ever asked you, “Why do you live in Fargo?” Available online at www. fargostuff.com, the Concordia College Bookstore, and Zandbroz, Fargo.

—Review by Madalyn Pezalla

“The Brothers’ Keepers”

By John H. Paddison and Charles D. Orvik Adult Fiction “The Brothers’ Keepers” is a realistic work of fiction set primarily in the midwest of the 1930s and 40s. The novel follows the five young Lambson brothers from childhood to adulthood.

Their parents essentially abandon them in the late 1930s.

The novel details the Lambson boys’ day-to-day struggles to survive physically, emotionally, and socially. After their father leaves them, the boys live on a dilapidated farm on the outskirts of the agricultural community of Farmington, North Dakota, with their alcoholic mother. She often leaves the children to their own means for extended periods of time. The brothers’ hardships form a strong, familial bond among them—the only definition of family they can construct from their aberrant circumstances.

This is a collaborative work written by longtime Rugby attorney Charles D. Orvik and professor emeritus at Central Arizona College, John H. Paddison. Available online at www.paddisonorvik.com or at Zandbroz, Fargo.

—Courtesy of Charles D. Orvik

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YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

Am I Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

By Gwen Rockwood I’m keeping a dirty little secret from the kids. Sometimes when I’m checking over their homework, I pretend to go to the bathroom or go check something that’s on the stove (even though I rarely cook). While I’m away, I use my iPhone to Google whatever parts of the homework assignment I don’t understand.

Shameful, I know. Our oldest is in fourth grade. I figured I’d have at least four or five more years before his math skills would surpass my own. But here I am—hiding in the coat closet searching for some kind of homework app on my smartphone.

Even my second grader stumped me yesterday. I looked over one of the completed assignments he brought home from school and asked him about it.

“Well, you know what metacognition is, right Mom?” he asked, certain that an all-knowing grown-up like me would surely know the words they toss around in second grade.

“Um, yes, but why don’t you tell me what YOU think it means,” I replied, hopeful he wouldn’t see through the old answer-a-question-with-a-question trick.

“Metacognition is thinking about how you think,” he said with second-grade authority.

“Of course,” I said, filing the definition away for later use.

“It’s good that you already know that.”

That little humbling exchange proved to me just how much things have evolved since I was in second grade. I’m pretty sure my second-grade homework consisted of coloring a picture of an umbrella without going outside the lines. When did grade-schoolers start learning words like “metacognition” and “digraph” and “algorithm”?

Of course, I’m thrilled the kids are progressing as quickly as they are. If they’re already learning about metacognition in second grade and algorithms in fourth grade, who knows what they might be capable of by the time they’re seniors in high school? They’ll probably be programming the family’s flying car by then. It’ll be wonderful.

In the meantime, I don’t want my academic authority to be crushed by people whose diapers I used to change. So I find myself brushing up on the same subjects the kids are studying.

Some of it comes back to me once I look over it again. Other parts of it? Not so much.

But I do have one thing going for me. I know that, in addition to learning new concepts and skills, one of the main purposes of homework is learning to work. So I knew just what to say the day our frustrated fourth grader declared—with intense, melodramatic flair—“Mom, this homework is ruining my life!”

“Well, going to school is your job right now. And doing homework is part of the job,” I said. “There are parts of my job and parts of Dad’s job that we don’t like doing, either, but we still do it. And there are always going to be things you don’t really want to do but need to be done. This is one of them. Just

12 December/January 2012

Illustration by Trygve Olson

When did grade-schoolers start learning words like “metacognition” and “digraph” and “algorithm”?

because something is hard doesn’t mean you can’t do it.”

I noticed a subtle eye-roll, but he did stop whining and got back to work on long division. Twenty minutes later, with the homework completed and tucked into his backpack, he was happily shooting hoops in the driveway, feeling the satisfaction that comes from knowing you’ve already finished the hard part of the day. It turns out that the homework didn’t ruin his life after all.

As for me, my secret is safe for now. With a little help from Google, I’m learning new things as I supervise the homework around here. Hopefully, if I brush up on the school’s core curriculum, I’ll be able to maintain the air of superior intelligence at least until they become teenagers. At that point, I’m pretty sure all kids decide that their parents are clueless. But that’s a column for a different day.

Gwen Rockwood is a regular contributor to The Village Family Magazine. She lives in Arkansas with her husband and three kids. Send comments to her at rockwoodfiles@cox.net.

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YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

Always Call Me at Work

By Rick Epstein I never turn off my cell phone when I go into my boss’ office.

If I get a call while I’m in there on a routine mission of dodging blame or stealing credit, it’s no problem. And when things take a really bad turn, a call can be a welcome interruption. While two burly thugs are stripping off my shirt and a third is stepping forward with a cat-o’-nine-tails, a loud and jazzy electronic tune will blare from my pants pocket. “Excuse me; I’d better take this,” I say, stepping out into the corridor.

Often as not, it’s my middle daughter Sally, calling from the faraway University of Jabroo. Sometimes it’s only a simple request for a few hundred bucks for a field trip or a book. But other times she’s got a few minutes to kill between classes and she wants her old man to help kill them. “Hi, Pop,” she’ll say and then tell me about her political activities, the antics of her friends or things she’s learning in school.

Depending upon how old I feel, it can seem like she’s breezing into my room at The Home, plunking a bouquet into a vase, and giving me a brisk update on the world of the young and vibrant.

But usually I feel fairly stout and have stories of my own to tell her.

In either case, ever since she learned how to poke in a phone number with her itty-bitty fingers, the sound of Sally’s friendly voice has been the sweetest music ever heard by a man chained to a desk (or in a corridor readjusting his clothing).

Sally was five when she started phoning me at work.

Sometimes she’d have something nutty to tell me. Here’s one I wrote down: “Wouldn’t it be terrible if you were a BOY doctor helping someone have a baby, and it was a GIRL baby and you had to see her privacy?”

I appreciated these calls, but the best ones concerned the bedtime stories I would tell her and her big sister. When a plot idea would pop into Sally’s little head, she would phone it in right away. (Preschoolers have nothing but time.) The stories involved a cast of talking animals, and the dialogue was interactive, with the girls each improvising the lines of a chosen creature.

Sally has always been bossy, and in those days if she didn’t like a story, she would shut it down. For example, when Spike the Rat-boy was trying to sabotage Emily the Pony’s birthday party, I was saying, “So while the other animal children were playing outside, Spike sneaked into the kitchen and grabbed the birthday cake—” “NO HE DIDN’T!” Sally yelled. So then I tried to have Spike gnaw the wrapping paper off the pony-girl’s gifts. “NO HE DIDN’T!” Sally yelled. Finally I realized that birthday parties are sacred to Sally, and anything done to ruin them would be literally unspeakable. Neither would she allow the least mishap or inconvenience befall her personal character, Sally the Squirrel.

But any story idea she’d phoned in would be sure of getting her cooperation and enjoyment.

I’d be struggling at my desk with deadlines looming, supervisors snarling, co-workers jeering, software unraveling, in-box spilling onto my shoes, and time seemingly stuck at 3:45 p.m. The phone would ring. I’d pick it up and groan, “What now?”

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Illustration by Trygve Olson

When a plot idea would pop into Sally’s little head, she would phone it in right away.

“Daddy?” It was my little boss.

“Hi, dear,” I’d say.

“How ‘bout if Spike pretends he had an operation on his tail?”

Sally says.

“Brilliant!” I’d say. “Thanks for the call.”

Perspective returns and the evil spell of the workplace would be broken. Although I was the center of my five-year-old’s universe, at the office I’m really not important enough to feel that much pressure. Before I knew it, it’d be 3:46, which meant it would be only a brisk crawl over hot coals to quitting time. I’d hardly notice my superiors jabbing me with their pitchforks as I finished up, and at 5:01 I’d be out the door like I had just set the place on fire.

Sally has continued to call me at work, her conversation becoming more and more mature. She’s 18 now, and I’m proud to hear her confident voice and her ambitious plans for summer internships and advanced courses. Sally loves higher education.

I encourage her, even though deep down I believe this schooling is superfluous. As far as I’m concerned, Sally was already the finished article at age five when she was calling up to say things like, “How ‘bout if Spike puts ink on Aliza the Alligator and she thinks she’s turning into a Dalmatian?” But people expect you to have a diploma.

Rick Epstein is a regular contributor to The Village Family Magazine.

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YOUR FAMILY z feature

“We need to elevate the medical competence of the parents right away; there’s a little being at the center of all of this and it’s our job to be a vigilant advocate for him or her.”

By Amanda Peterson

According to the March of Dimes, one in eight babies in the U.S. are born premature, or before 37 weeks of development. Often, these babies depend on the care of specialized doctors and nurses in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) to survive. Here are the stories of three local families thrust into the world of the NICU, the journeys they experienced, and the miracles that changed their lives.

The Hermunslies Becky and Austin Hermunslie of Fargo were thrilled to be expecting their first child in 2009. The couple, then both 27, had been enjoying a smooth pregnancy and looked forward to decorating the nursery in their apartment. They had taken their first childbirth class. Then, Becky became seriously ill.

At 29 weeks, her blood pressure skyrocketed and she was admitted to the hospital. Doctors diagnosed her with HELLP Syndrome, a rare condition affecting her red blood cells, liver, and platelets. Quickly, the Hermunslies learned it would be necessary to deliver their baby more than two months early to save Becky.

During the next two days, they called family, shot video messages for their baby, and scrambled to choose names.

They talked to doctors about potential complications for their baby, including bleeding in the brain and problems affecting the lungs, heart, eyes, and digestive tract. They prepared themselves for leaving their baby for weeks in the NICU, hooked up with tubes and monitors, rather than bringing their baby home.

On the day they would have taken their second childbirth class, doctors induced Becky. As their baby’s heart rate dropped during labor, Becky was prepped for a C-section. Their daughter weighed two pounds, 12 ounces (just a bit more than a bag of brown sugar) and measured 15 inches. They named her Lucy. “She came out with her eyes wide open and I thought, ‘She’s OK,’” Becky says. “I just cried.”

Becky and Austin soaked in that first glance of their daughter before she was rushed off to the NICU for evaluation. NICU nurses and her neonatologist hooked Lucy up to respiratory, heart rate, and oxygen level monitors. They dressed her in only a diaper, with tubes and lines running into several areas of her

14 December/January 2012

Austin, Becky, and Lucy Hermunslie

body, including her umbilical cord, nose, and arm. They regulated Lucy’s body temperature with a warm, covered Isolette. They fed her pumped breast milk through a small tube in her nose.

Tucked into the same fetal position she had in the womb, Lucy slept. The dimmed lights, quiet sounds, and warm temperatures of the NICU helped her stay asleep, a vital step in helping her tiny body grow and develop. The Hermunslies’ six-week NICU journey had begun. “We didn’t know what to expect,” Austin says. “It was an uncontrollable situation for us.

We had to trust the nurses and the doctors.”

NICU Atmosphere At hospitals across the country, NICUs are carefully designed for one purpose—to provide preemies and ill full-term babies with the care critical for their survival. Some preemies struggle with complications, while others simply need a re-creation of

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the uterine environment to grow.

Most people never step inside a NICU until they are there with their own baby. The highly technical rooms are filled with sounding alarms, beeping machines, and blinking monitors.

Scrub-clad nurses move around the room from one Isolette to the next administering feedings, checking vitals, updating family members, and charting. Rocking chairs, photos, and drawers of doll-sized clothing personalize each area.

At the center are the fragile babies and the families that love them. “It’s really profound to know you’re helping nurture an entire family,” says Vicki Holtan, a NICU nurse at Essentia Health in Fargo with 33 years in the field. “There’s a balance between providing privacy and being attentive to the baby. It’s my job to help these parents bridge their fears and feel like they can care for their baby.”

The Nelsons Lisa and Chris Nelson of West Fargo know the NICU well.

Their twin daughters, Marina and Finly, now two, spent 23 days in the NICU in the summer of 2009. Born at 33 weeks, the girls weighed four pounds, seven ounces and four pounds, nine ounces, respectively.

Thankfully the girls were healthy and just needed to grow.

Even so, the pain and worry of leaving them in the hospital was followed by weeks of demanding schedules. Chris, who runs an electrical business, headed to the NICU for an hour or two each morning before work. Lisa, a photographer and full-time mom to oldest daughter, Elliana, then five, visited the NICU at lunch.

Once Elli was tucked into bed for the night, Lisa went back to the NICU for a few more hours. “We didn’t have any family in the area to help,” Lisa says.

She turned to other families in the NICU, sharing her own experiences and listening to theirs. As she took turns holding Marina and Finly, talking to them and changing them, she connected with those who understood what it was like to leave a baby in the hospital day after day, wondering when they could come home. “Unless you’ve experienced the NICU, you just can’t understand it,” Lisa says. “And nothing you could ever really do could prepare you for it.”

The strong emotions, stress, medical learning-curve, and worry that come with a NICU stay make it difficult to understand for the general population. Some parents describe it as the club you wish you didn’t have to join.

Connecting with the NICU nurses helped Lisa. As she sat with her girls each night, she was thankful for the support of the nurses who constantly updated her on Finly’s and Marina’s health. They also reached out to her to offer kind words and encouragement. “I still keep in touch with some of them,” Lisa says.

Caring Staff It was the same for Becky Hermunslie. The nurses and doctors made her feel more comfortable, she says. Collette Christoffers, the March of Dimes NICU Family Support Specialist at Essentia, also played a large role. Christoffers, a registered nurse and experienced NICU mother, provides resources and support for parents in the NICU.

family

Marina, Elliana, and Finly Nelson

“She became a very dear friend to me,” Becky says. “She had her own children in the NICU and we share the same faith. We just got each other. I would hope that other NICU moms and dads would have that kind of support.”

Trish Strom, director of nursing at Sanford Health NICU in Fargo, says in many ways parental support is just as important as the medical care of the infant in the NICU. Nurses must be very skilled technically, but also confident, gentle, and able to counsel worried or hurting family members. Strom says her team takes important steps to keep parents very involved in the care of their children, from talking aloud when charting and conducting exams to being very available for questions. “I tell my families that I’m an expert on development and technology, but they’re the expert on their baby,” Strom says.

The technical aspects of NICU care can be overwhelming to parents, but it’s important for them to learn the terminology, understand procedures, and keep up with changes in their baby, Strom says. High emotions and stress make it even more challenging. The nurses are there to lead parents along. “We need to elevate the medical competence of the parents right away,” Strom says. “There’s a little being at the center of all of this and it’s our job to be a vigilant advocate for him or her.”

The Levos’ As Brenda Levos, 41, of Leonard, N.D., tucks a preemie into her arms and settles into a rocking chair at the Sanford NICU, she can’t help but think back 15 years to her own NICU experience. It’s why she volunteers each week to rock babies.

She knows what it’s like to be scared, overwhelmed, and so in love.

Like the Hermunslies, Brenda and husband Tom Levos, now 42, were pregnant with their first child when Brenda suddenly developed HELLP Syndrome. Doctors delivered their daughter, Hope, on Nov. 27, 1996, at 24 weeks. She weighed only 15.6 ounces and was rushed to the NICU. “It was probably the most scared I have ever been,” Tom says. “I didn’t know how things would turn out. I felt hopeless not being able to control the outcome.” Hope was so small and fragile that her parents couldn’t even touch her.

“Christmas Day was the first day we could hold her and even

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How to Help a NICU Family When a family delivers a full-term baby, it’s common to bring a small gift, make a meal, or simply stop by to visit. But the seriousness of an early delivery often leaves extended family and friends wondering how to best help. Here are some suggestions from families with babies in the NICU. • Come to the hospital to see the baby, even if it just means watching through a window. Share in their excitement of new life.

• Sit with the family Isolette- or crib-side in the NICU. Just your quiet presence is calming and supportive.

• Listen. Let the family talk about their thoughts and feelings.

• Volunteer to take photos.

• Don’t ask when the baby gets to come home— not even the doctors know. It all changes day to day.

• Offer to care for older siblings. Many times, parents can’t visit the NICU together if they have other kids at home.

• Bring groceries, a meal, or a restaurant gift certificate. It’s challenging to even think about meals when worried about an infant in the NICU. • If the hospital allows it, offer to stay with the baby in the NICU so the parents can take a break. It can be hard for them to leave their baby.

• Offer to share the baby’s condition and updates with other family and friends.

• Bring a preemie outfit. Even if the baby is too small for clothes, parents look forward to the days of dressing their baby.

• Offer love and prayers. Tell them you’re thinking about them often.

• Give lotion. NICU visitors must scrub in before every visit and lotion is a thoughtful gift.

• Simply ask what you can do to help.

16 December/January 2012

then, it was only for three minutes per day,” Brenda says. “Your arms just ache for being able to hold that child.” Eventually, they worked up to kangaroo care, a method of holding a baby with skin-to-skin contact that is shown to help calm infants.

“Her heart rate would improve and she would fall asleep,” Brenda says. “It really helped with making that connection.”

Four months later, they brought Hope home. Even then, it wasn’t the typical homecoming for an infant. Hope came with oxygen and monitors. She required around-the-clock care. Then the flood of 1997 struck. Tom and Brenda lost power to their home for several days and depended on a generator. Worried about Hope, they rushed her back to the hospital.

That summer, Hope spent three more months in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit following a battery of surgeries for a gastrostomy tube, tracheostomy, a lung biopsy, and more.

When she was released in October 1997, her parents rented an apartment in Fargo to keep her close to medical care. She required a ventilator and nursing care 16 hours per day, with Tom and Brenda taking on the other eight hours. Her doctor made house calls.

Though thrilled to be out of the hospital, Brenda says it was hard to leave the nurses, doctors, and other families that helped her get through those tough months. “When we left I was in tears,” she says. “I was going to miss all of them.

We had so many doctors and nurses that just went above and beyond. Many Hope Levos became like family.”

Reaching Out to Others Making it through her own NICU journey left Brenda wanting to help families just beginning. She created a preemie and NICU resource site at www.havingalittlehope.com. She speaks to groups in the community about coping with stress, often using stories of the NICU to illustrate her points, and is writing a book about Hope’s first year. Recently, she partnered with a clothing manufacturer to launch a line of spunky, bold preemie clothes, available through her website.

Each time she rocks babies in the NICU, she is reminded of what she’s been through. “It drives me in wanting to go back and help,” Brenda says. “When a mom is about to break down, I reach out. I’ve been there.”

The NICU left its mark on Becky Hermunslie and Lisa Nelson, too. When Becky became pregnant the next year, she prepared herself for another early delivery and NICU stay. It was what she and Austin knew. Their baby, Violet, now one,

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surprised them with a full-term pregnancy, uncomplicated breastfeeding, and a typical two-day hospital stay. “It was weird to see our same nurses from the NICU while in the hospital, but not going in there,” Becky says.

Beyond the surprises of a more typical birth experience, Becky knew she couldn’t leave her NICU journey in the past.

She joined the NICU parent advisory board at Essentia. She also continues to work with Christoffers, finding ways to help the March of Dimes and the NICU. “I know I’m not the only one who’s had this experience,” Becky says. “You see other moms and dads with their children all of the time. They’ve all received support that brings them back to the NICU to help.”

That group includes Lisa, who volunteers through the national organization Pictures of Hope to take professional photos of NICU babies and their families. Lisa, who specializes in portrait photography, captures tender moments, tiny toes, and hope through her black and white images. She holds a once monthly photo evening, as well as schedules sessions for anyone interested (See below).

“I wanted to give back in some way,” she says. “I want to be a support for other parents. I’ve walked in their shoes before.”

The experience has also been healing. “The first couple of times I went up there, it was really hard,” Lisa says. “You forget the smells, like the humid, warm air inside an Isolette. It just brings you back.”

Miracles Today, as Austin wrestles on the floor with Lucy and little Violet, Becky watches from across the room. She never could have predicted three years ago where her family would be today and the journey it would take to get there. Becky thanks the talented and caring medical professionals, family, friends, and faith in God for helping them all through. “Having a baby in the NICU is not what you expect when you find out you’re pregnant,” Becky says. “It’s not easy, but it’s your own adventure that is going to make your story and your child’s story extra special.

“Now, I look at Lucy in awe and wonder. I’m amazed to see how far she’s come from the moment I first held her. It’s a miracle. Life itself is a miracle.”

Amanda Peterson is an award-winning writer with a love for the Web, social media, and magazines. She lives in Moorhead with her husband and two children.

Photos from the NICU These photos were taken by Lisa M. Nelson. She holds photo sessions once a month at Essentia Health and is available by appointment at both local NICUs. Phone: 701.306.9643 Email: lisamnelsonphotography@hotmail.com

Pictures of Hope www.picturesofhopefoundation.org

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Making Victories Happen

D

r. Matthew Tinguely was a second grader when his grandpa battled cancer. He’ll never forget it.

“Even in illness, my grandpa continued to be a very kind, considerate, gentle person.

And he continued to take time for us grandkids,” he says. “In retrospect, it’s amazing how he could go through so much, yet still have concern for others.”

Today as a medical oncologist at Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo, Dr. Tinguely sees victories like these every day.

“They inspire me and push me to do my very best,” he says.

Always moving ahead Dr. Tinguely joined Sanford in 2010 after completing his oncology fellowship.

“While in training, I realized oncology was the field I wanted to pursue,” he says.

“It’s constantly changing and growing. It forces me to always be on my toes. I like that.”

His choice supported another goal, too.

“I wanted to help people. In oncology, that’s really what you do,” he says. “You have to get to know your patients on an intimate level.”

Born and raised in Fargo, Dr. Tinguely learned early on that listening is key to connecting with patients and their families. “That was part of my training, but my dad taught me that, too,” he says.

His dad is longtime Sanford pediatrician Dr. Stephen Tinguely.

Molecular markers opens new doors in cancer care In talking about medical oncology.

Dr. Matthew Tinguely readily names the area that most fascinates him: Molecular biology. “Cancer care is becoming very individualized. That’s exciting!” he says.

Take lung cancer for example. “In the past we had just a few regimens to choose

Dr. Matthew Tinguely from. We’d give the patient a few rounds to see what worked,” says Dr. Tinguely.

“With today’s knowledge about mutational differences and the genetic composition of the cancers themselves, we’re better able to choose the treatment most likely to work, both in fighting the cancer and in minimizing side-effects.”

Breast cancer was one of the first to incorporate molecular markers into treatment. In the past year melanoma -- the deadliest skin cancer -- has joined the ranks. The identification of the BRAF mutation led to this advance.

“For a long time we had little that could help in treating melanoma,” says Dr. Tinguely. “Now we have two new drugs to choose from. We’re using both of them here.”

Advanced prostate cancer has also benefited from new approaches. “We now have hormone manipulations that have been shown to prolong survival even after chemotherapy has failed,” says Dr. Tinguely.

The newest approach in the treatment of advanced prostate cancer involves a vaccine that ultimately enables white blood cells to specifically target the prostate cancer cells. This, too, is now available at Sanford.

This Medical Update was brought to you by Roger Maris Cancer Center.

For more information and to view more victory stories visit www.cancer.sanfordhealth.org

Advances that benefit every type of cancer In choosing to practice at Sanford, Dr. Tinguely was drawn to: * The size of the staff. “With 12 medical oncologists, you interact with each other and help each other stay on top of what’s happening in each type of cancer,” he says. “That clearly benefits patients.” * Excellent support for patients and families throughout the cancer journey—and after. “It’s a team approach that includes psychologists, financial counselors, social workers, specially trained nurses, survivorship programs and more,” he says. “This sets Sanford apart.”

Your victories Every day you see victories in the life of your family—homework done, practice completed, a game played, perhaps even a game won. All involve perseverance, mastery, even innovation.

And at Sanford? Thanks to determined, knowledgeable professionals like Dr. Tinguely, victories large and small happen every day in the lives of cancer patients and their families.

Ask the Expert

PLANNED GIVING

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Development Officer The Village Family Service Center

Kid’s Fitness & Special Needs Director TNT Kid’s Fitness

Janet Zinke

I review my estate, I’m thinking I might not Q:Asneed as much life insurance as I have. My family is already cared for in my estate, so does it make

sense to cash out the policy and give the cash to charity?

Cashing out your policy and giving the cash to charity is certainly an option, but keep in mind that this may result in surrender fees. You can have the same current deduction on your taxes by transferring the policy to the charity of your choice. If the policy has cash loan value, the charity can draw this out and use it to do the good work you want to support.

Upon your death, the charity then receives the full balance of the policy proceeds. This policy would no longer be included in your estate for tax purposes. I’m glad to hear you’ve done careful estate planning. For those who aren’t as prepared, I highly recommend talking to a financial advisor to determine which of your assets would be the best charitable gifting option. Generally, the assets with the highest tax implications for your heirs are best for charitable gift planning. As always, check with your financial advisor to determine what is best in your situation.

A:

The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th Street S., Fargo, ND 1-701-451-5036

Nate Hendrickson

important is physical activity to my child’s Q:How development?

A:

Without question physical activity is one of the most significant factors in the development of children. A small list of benefits: cardiovascular endurance, muscular strength/endurance, flexibility, body composition, brain cognition, memory, self-esteem, problem solving, academic performance, etc. Our human body is interconnected; which is why movement is so important! It is the platform in which we can have a positive influence on all aspects of a child’s development. TNT Kid’s Fitness is dedicated to get kids moving and more importantly help them to enjoy movement! TNT has programs for children aged 18 months to 18 years. TNT works with ALL children using the sport of gymnastics to facilitate and promote fitness. Have you ever seen a child bounce on a tramp while in a wheelchair? All programs are designed to bring out the best benefits in your child.

Program information can be found at www.tntkidsfitness.org or email: nate@tntkidsfitness.org.

TNT Kid’s Fitness 1-701-365-8868 www.tntkidsfitness.org

www.TheVillageFamily.org

SENIOR HOUSING

HOME IMPROVEMENT

Alicia Gorder

Dave Larson

Marketing and Admissions Coordinator Eventide Senior Living Communities parents are getting older. When should I start Q:My thinking about senior housing options?

As parents, we’re used to worrying about the well-being A: of our children. But concern for our aging parents may be somewhat unsettling. And although Mom and Dad would

probably prefer to remain in their home, it’s not always the safest living arrangement. Gathering information about senior housing options is time-consuming but worth the effort.

There are many considerations such as location, cost, health services, and amenities.

Know what is available in your area, and if there are waiting lists for different facilities. This can be helpful if your parents are considering a move in the future, but can also be extremely valuable if health changes occur quickly and a move needs to happen right away. Knowing your options will help avoid making hasty decisions during an otherwise stressful time.

Eventide has many different housing and service options for seniors. Recognizing that each person is unique, with different health needs, preferences, and financial situations, we can help find a new home for Mom and Dad, focusing on their safety, well-being and happiness.

To learn more about Eventide’s housing options, call 218-291-2223

Attention to Detail Painting, Inc.

want to paint my garage floor, Q:I how do I start?

A:

First, check to see whether or not your concrete is sealed. Select a small spot on the concrete surface to drop a couple drops of muriatic acid (use protective clothing).

If the acid turns yellow & bubbles, no seal is present. If it does nothing, more than likely it’s sealed. If it’s sealed, you’ll need to mechanically grind the seal from your concrete, which I would NOT recommend doing yourself, unless you have experience. However, if there is no seal, you’ll need to “etch” your floor, using a 1:6 mixing ratio of muriatic acid to water.

Make certain you add the acid to the water, rather than water to acid. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I would recommend you view a few good links, via YouTube, prior to proceeding. And one product selection tip: go with a reputable brand, rather than a cheap package deal. Give us a call with questions or for a quote!

Attention to Detail 701-729-3136 www.atdpinc.com

Student Loan

By Lonna Whiting and Tammy Noteboom

On average, a 2011 undergraduate will have $27,200 in student loan debt, while someone with an advanced degree will accrue $50,000 or more in student loan debt––and that doesn’t take into account interest. It’s a crisis hundreds of thousands of graduates in the U.S. are dealing with, some better than others. One NDSU PhD candidate, when asked how she was coping with her student loan load, responded, “I’m staying in school, probably until I die.” Others like Fargo native, Lance, who left his comment on a recent Village Family Magazine Facebook thread, is chipping away at his loan month by month. “I pay $130 a month,” he says, an amount he claims he’ll be paying for the rest of his life.

Village Financial Counselor and student loan expert Duane Emmel says no matter how graduates are paying it off, the worst possible way to deal with student loan debt is to ignore it altogether.

“When people have that ‘I’ll worry about it later’ mentality while they’re in college, they’re not necessarily seeing how much those loans add up semester after semester,” Emmel says. “When they graduate and get out there, that’s when the reality hits. Those eight or nine loans of $1,300 suddenly add up to $12,000 or more.”

On average, $12,000 pays for about two years of school at a public institution (this amount doubles when you add in the cost of room and board). The usual amount of time it takes a student to complete an undergraduate degree is five to six years.

A recent NBC Nightly News special report, “Price of Admission: America’s College Debt Crisis,” laid out in simple terms the reason why student debt has reached unprecedented proportions: “Students borrow because they see little choice. A college education is, after all, a key to success. That, it seems, is an article of faith.”

College as a “key to success” not only isn’t guaranteed, but it comes with a hefty price tag. Emmel says it’s OK— even healthy—to have hopes and dreams, but being realistic about how you’re going to get there is also important. “Whatever your passion is, by all means, pursue it. But make sure you have a plan,” he says.

Also be realistic about the type of school you or your children choose to attend, whether that is a state school, private, or vocational institution.

Tuition varies by type of higher education, and the return on investment may not always be positive. For example, if your plan consists of a high cost school followed by a low-to-mid salary career in, say, English education, there is a low return on investment, since debt from an expensive, name-brand school will far outweigh a public school teacher’s entry-level salary.

“Look at what the job goal

20 December/January 2012

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Crisis

YOUR FAMILY z money

Takes its Toll on Graduates

is. This is very important, and you have to be really careful right now is 6.8% fixed,” says Shirley Glass, student loan because where you go and what you decide to do determine the manager at the Bank of North Dakota. “Still, we strongly amount of financial pressure after all is said and done,” Emmel encourage students to borrow through the federal loans first. says.

Because the DEAL loan is a private loan, interest starts accruing Unfortunately, those dream jobs we all grew up having don’t right away and the loan doesn’t qualify for certain loan always come to fruition––no matter where you got your degree. forgiveness programs or income-based repayment.”

Most graduates who find themselves in the workforce after Even at a higher interest rate, federal loans are recommended college are feeling as the first and best disillusioned by the reality of option because not the workday world. Never The national student loan debt will hit $1 trillion by the end of this year, accruing interest has the professional while they are in according to Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of www.fastweb.com and landscape been more school is a huge www.finaid.org. Kantrowitz says, “Outstanding student loan debt competitive, nor has there benefit to those been a 9.9% unemployment students who qualify. exceeded outstanding credit card debt starting in June 2010.” rate for longer than a year at With the exception of a time––not since the Great North Dakota’s Depression, at least.

DEAL loan, federal loans generally have lower interest rates than Even trickier yet is the fact that student loans are not like other private loans. forms of debt, such as a car loan or a home mortgage. There are Make a plan limited consumer protections and there is limited ability to Before you swear off sending children to college, or you accept a refinance. Graduates cannot file bankruptcy for student loans, second job as a pizza delivery driver to compensate for your and in many cases the debt lives on––even if you don’t. This is already-existing student loan debt, Emmel says to stop, take a not always the case, however. Federal (and some private) loans deep breath, and get ready to make a plan. are forgiven in the event of death of the student.

Like any debt, whether it is student loans, car payments, Worse than death (well, practically) is if you default on your mortgages, or lake home expenses, having a plan and sticking to student loan. Default occurs when you ignore loan payments and it is the single-most important component to managing debt and government loan offices hand over your account to creditors or eventually overcoming it. guarantee offices. From there, the collection agencies can take “First of all, talk to children who are in high school and even your tax refunds or garnish your wages. younger, and teach them about student loans,” Emmel says.

Talk about pressure. Fortunately, there is a way out of default “Only borrow what’s absolutely necessary. College may be a if your loans are through the government. “They might make you financial struggle because you didn’t take out the maximum, but pay higher amounts each month for a while,” Emmel says, but you’ll be way ahead after graduation.” it’s far better than creditors or guarantee offices controlling your “Prioritize your expenses. Emphasize student loans as a take-home pay. “Just stay in contact with the government loan priority after you graduate. Having the right spending plan for officers; let them know your situation. They’re likely to be much your budget is very important,” Emmel says. “You may have to nicer to you if they know what your situation is.” wait to buy a house, but just get that student debt paid off as Private loans versus federal loans The recent health care bill included a stipulation that private lenders could no longer make new federally insured student loans. Private lenders can still make student loans, but they are private, alternative loans and are not guaranteed by the federal government.

North Dakota has received national recognition for its unique state loan program—the DEAL loan—which is offered through the Bank of North Dakota. The DEAL loan is still considered a private loan, but it is guaranteed by the state and has low interest rates.

“Right now, the variable rate for DEAL loans for North Dakota students is 1.86% and the fixed rate is 4.88%. The federal rate

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soon as possible.”

There are many ways federal and private lenders are currently helping indebted graduates manage their payments. From loan consolidation to deferment agreements, knowing the options available is a complex journey. Here is a brief list of some of the most common loan management plans for both federal and private lending: Loan Consolidation Loan consolidation is usually the first step graduates take when they need help with student loan debt. Consolidating loans means that a lender will help you group some or all of your loans into one payment. Private lenders are no longer able to consolidate federal loans (since July 1, 2010). Only the Department of

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Education can do that. The benefits of consolidating are extended repayments. “If you have federal student loan balances of $30,000 or more, you can extend the repayment up to 25 years without consolidating by choosing the extended repayment option,” says Glass.

Deferment and Forbearance Because many people right out of college can’t afford the minimum payments to their student loans, the federal government has organized ways for graduates to make repayment a bit more manageable. One of the most common ways people stave off repayment, at least until they get into the job market and are making a better salary, is deferment.

Deferment postpones payments on a loan, but it’s only allowed under certain conditions. Many graduate students defer their loans so they do not have to pay back any money while they’re continuing their studies.

Forbearance is a postponement of payment on a loan, typically if the borrower doesn’t qualify for a deferment and is unable to make payments due to circumstances such as poor health or a layoff.

Income-Based Repayment This plan gives you the flexibility to meet your federal loan obligations without causing undue financial hardship. Each year, your monthly payments will be calculated on the basis of your adjusted gross income (plus your spouse’s income if you’re married), family size, and the total amount of your federal loans.

Note: Parents Loans for Undergraduate Students (PLUS) is the exception as they are federal loans but do not qualify for income-based repayment.

The White House proposed in October, 2011, to improve the income-based repayment option even more. Right now, graduates who enroll in the program are charged 15% of their discretionary income to pay off loans, with debt forgiven after 25 years. Congress passed a law, to go into effect in 2014, that will drop the monthly payment for loans originated that year to 10% of discretionary income, with debt forgiven after 20 years.

The Obama administration’s proposal is to move up the starting date so that loans originating in 2012 would qualify for the new guidelines.

According to www.CNNMoney.com, “about 450,000 students are enrolled in the income-based repayment plan, but hundreds of thousands more are eligible.” For the latest information about repayment plans, visit www.direct.ed.gov.

Privately Funded Loans Some private lenders offer great perks, like lower interest rates, loan deferment options, and the tempting possibility of releasing a loan’s original cosigner from any obligations. But not all private lenders offer these same benefits, so you need to shop around. Glass says, “We see over 15% interest rates with some private loans. Those are the exception, but we routinely see 8-9% loans.”

Private lenders, such as the Bank of North Dakota, are generally very helpful to graduates who are unable to make full payments or can’t pay on time. Many people find this “real person on the other end of the line” hospitality beneficial when federal funding is insufficient or doesn’t meet the needs of the student.

22 December/January 2012

Practical Tips for Minimizing Debt and Reducing the Cost of Education Financing 1. B orrow federal first. Federal loans are cheaper, more available, and have better repayment terms than private student loans. The unsubsidized Stafford and PLUS loans are available without regard to financial need, so you don’t have to be poor to qualify.

2. L ive like a student while you are in school so you don’t have to live like a student after you graduate.

3. D o not borrow more for your entire education than your expected starting salary after you graduate.

Otherwise you will find it difficult to repay the debt and will be at higher risk of default.

4. I f you are borrowing more than $10,000 per year for college, switch to a less expensive school.

5. S ubmit the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) at www.fafsa.ed.gov to apply for federal and state grants and search the Fastweb.com scholarships database to find scholarships for which you are eligible. Every dollar you get in grants and scholarships is a dollar less you will need to borrow.

–www.finaid.org However, private loans cannot be consolidated with federal loans, a definite drawback to taking out loans from private lenders. Private lenders also do not have the same loan forgiveness incentives as federal loan providers.

Loan Forgiveness Loan forgiveness can be an advantage after 25 years of repayment under the income-based repayment plan. If you are in the right field of work, other plans may provide quicker relief. The most common loan forgiveness programs include those for: Public service sector employees: The borrower will receive full loan forgiveness after ten years in a public service or nonprofit institution. The employee must be employed full-time in a public service job for 120 monthly payments and the loan cannot be in default. Those 120 or more payments made will not be reimbursed. See http://www.finaid.org/loans/publicservice. phtml for a full list of the occupations that qualify as public service positions. Full-time faculty at tribal colleges and universities as well as faculty teaching in high-need subject areas and shortage areas including nurse faculty, foreign language faculty, and part-time faculty at community colleges also qualify.

Volunteers: If you serve in Americorps for a year you can receive up to $7,400 in stipends, plus $4,725 to be used toward your loan. Peace Corps volunteers receive deferments and may qualify for partial cancellation of certain federal loans. The Volunteers in Service to America requires 1,700 hours of service in exchange for $4,725 to be used toward your loan.

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Military: The Army National Guard offers $10,000 in their Student Loan Repayment Program. Many military and veterans’ programs also offer deferments and loan forgiveness.

Teachers: Teachers serving in low-income areas of the United States qualify for forgiveness of their Perkins loans—15% loan forgiveness for the first two years, 20% for the third and fourth years, and 30% for the fifth year. For all other federal loans, teachers at a low-income school can qualify for forgiveness of up to $17,500. Individual states may provide additional loan forgiveness for teachers.

No matter how much student loan debt you accrue, accepting and taking action toward your debt commitments, sticking to a budget plan, and taking advantage of various federal and private lending offers are crucial components to financial security.

Lonna Whiting is the former editor of The Village Family Magazine and Tammy Noteboom is the Director of Communications for The Village Family Service Center, publisher of The Village Family Magazine.

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villagefamilymag.org

Mega Pass December/January 2012

23

Calendar

To include an event in our family-friendly calendar, email to shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org.

Deadline for the February/March calendar is Friday, December 30, 2011.

Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, it is a good idea to call ahead to check times and locations and to see if the event requires registration. Event fees may apply. Due to space restrictions, we are not able to include all submissions.

DECEMBER 2011 EVENTS 12.1 Thursday • Feast or Famine. Learn about the gray wolf’s hunting and feeding behavior and watch the wolves have their evening meal. Space is limited, call for reservations. 7-8 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 • “Miss Julie.” 7:30 p.m., Walsh Studio Theatre, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu.edu/ finearts 12.2 Friday • Annual Madrigal Dinner. 6 p.m., Reineke Fine Arts Center Challey Atrium, NDSU, Fargo, 701-2317969 or www.ndsu.edu/finearts • Sports Jersey Open Gym. Wear a sports jersey and receive $1 off admission. Ages 5-18. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www. tntkidsfitness.com • University Orchestra/Choir Holiday Concert. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2771 • “Miss Julie.” 7:30 p.m., Walsh Studio Theatre, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu.edu/ finearts • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm.

7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com • 85th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 8 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.3 Saturday • Jingle Bell 5k Run/Walk for Arthritis. Registration at 8 a.m., run/ walk starts at 9 a.m., Courts Plus Fitness Center, 3491 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701-388-1988 or www. jbrfargo2011.kintera.org • Santa Claus at Yunker Farm.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s

24 December/January 2012

Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Santa Fly-In. Santa flies in to visit with children about their Christmas lists. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue’s “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-2050190 or www.4luvofdog.org • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days.

View pets available for adoption.

1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • Christmas on the Prairie. Cookie decorating, demonstrations, silent auction, fundraising dinner, and an appearance by Santa. 1-7 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • 85th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 3 p.m. & 8 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Annual Madrigal Dinner. 6 p.m., Reineke Fine Arts Center Challey Atrium, NDSU, Fargo, 701-2317969 or www.ndsu.edu/finearts • FM Derby Girls vs. Bemidji Whistle Punks and Babe City Roller Allstars. 7 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, www. fmderbygirls.com • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm.

7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225

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31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com • “Miss Julie.” 7:30 p.m., Walsh Studio Theatre, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu.edu/ finearts 12.4 Sunday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • Winter Choir & Brass Concert. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu. edu/finearts • “Miss Julie.” 2 p.m., Walsh Studio Theatre, NDSU, Fargo, 701-2317969 or www.ndsu.edu/finearts • Chamber Music Concert Series: Holiday Brass. 2 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 650 2nd Ave. N., Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org • 85th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 3 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Annual Madrigal Dinner. 6 p.m., Reineke Fine Arts Center Challey Atrium, NDSU, Fargo, 701-2317969 or www.ndsu.edu/finearts 12.5 Monday • Jazz Ensemble & Lab Band. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www. ndsu.edu/finearts 12.6 Tuesday • Wind Symphony. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu. edu/finearts • Jazz Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton Hall/Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.7 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m.,

family

Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • March of Dimes’ Bowls for Babies. Enjoy delicious soup from your favorite restaurants and choose a bowl designed by local artists. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Ramada Crystal Ballroom, 1635 42nd St. S.W., Fargo. Call 701-235-5530 or visit www.marchofdimes.com for ticket information • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 12.8 Thursday • Health, Tech & Trade Career Expo. High school career fair.

8:30 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com • Bethany Silent Auction & Food Fest. Scandinavian and other ethnic specialty foods and silent auction. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Bethany Retirement Living, 201 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2393246 or mjohnson@bethanynd.org See ad on page 32 • Music for the Heart Concert.

Noon, Sanford Health Atrium, Broadway & 8th Ave. N., Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • All is Calm: The Christmas Truce of 1914. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, MSUM, Moorhead, 218477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/ perform 12.9 Friday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • Open Gym. Ages 5-18. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.

family

tntkidsfitness.com • “Little Women.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-2351901 or www.fmct.org • NDSU Chamber Winds. 7:30 p.m., Beckwith Recital Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www. ndsu.edu/finearts • “Amahl and the Night Visitors.”

7:30 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway N., Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org • Fargo Force vs. Team USA. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com

www.fmct.org • Kuhnau’s Magnificat & Selections from Handel’s Messiah. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7969 or www.ndsu.edu/finearts • “Amahl and the Night Visitors.”

2 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway N., Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org • “Welcome All Wonders.” Lake Agassiz Girls Choir concert with reception and bake sale to follow.

7 p.m., Trinity Lutheran Church, 210 7th St. S., Moorhead 12.14 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29

12.10 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Santa Fly-In. Santa flies in to visit with children about their Christmas lists. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • The Nutcracker & Beyond. Red River Dance holiday show. 2 p.m., Shanley High School Auditorium, 5600 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-2800004 or www.redriverdance.com • “Little Women.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-2351901 or fmct.org • Percussion Ensemble Concert.

7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515

12.15 Thursday • FirstLink’s Giving Tree of Hope.

Holiday gift distribution for children 0-18 years and special needs adults. Please bring a photo ID and Social Security cards for yourself and each of your children.

9 a.m.-4 p.m., Fargo Civic Center Auditorium, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, 701-293-6462 • FM Redhawks Holiday Open House. Cider, treats, hot dog lunch, and 25% off in the team store. 9 a.m.-8 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • “Little Women.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-2351901 or www.fmct.org

12.11 Sunday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • “Little Women.” 2 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or

villagefamilymag.org

12.16 Friday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29

December/January 2012

25

• Christmas Open Gym. Time for parents to shop. Ages 5-18. 6-9 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www. tntkidsfitness.com • The Nutcracker & Holiday Show.

Bonnie Haney Dance holiday show.

7 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo. Call Bonnie Haney Dance at 218-236-9900 for ticket information • “Little Women.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-2351901 or fmct.org • Fargo Force vs. Omaha Lancers.

7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 12.17 Saturday • Holly Jolly Zoo Days. Enjoy a variety of holiday activities and visit with Santa and Mrs. Claus. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

•S anta Fly-In. Santa flies in to visit with children about their Christmas lists. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org •4 Luv of Dog Rescue’s “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-2050190 or www.4luvofdog.org •F M Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days.

View pets available for adoption.

1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 •S anta Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • The Nutcracker & Holiday Show.

Bonnie Haney Dance holiday show.

2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo. Call Bonnie Haney Dance at 218-236-9900 for ticket information • “Little Women.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-2351901 or www.fmct.org 12.18 Sunday •H olly Jolly Zoo Days. Enjoy a variety of holiday activities and visit with Santa and Mrs. Claus. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 •S anta Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • “Little Women.” 2 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or www.fmct.org •S kating With Santa. 7-8:30 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 12.19 Monday •H oliday Pops Family Concert: Christmas at the Movies. 7 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org 12.20 Tuesday •H oliday Pops Family Concert:

26 December/January 2012

villagefamilymag.org

Christmas at the Movies. 7 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org 12.21 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com 12.22 Thursday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 12.23 Friday • Santa Village. Free admission with donation of cash, canned goods, or new toys. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or www.fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 12.24 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 12.26 Monday • Family First Week. Free museum admission for grandparents.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 12.27 Tuesday • Family First Week. Free museum admission for grandparents.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 12.28 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Family First Week. Free museum admission for grandparents.

family

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 • Fargo Force vs. Lincoln Stars.

7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 12.29 Thursday • Rumble on the Red Wrestling Tournament. 10 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Family First Week. Free museum admission for grandparents.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 12.30 Friday • Rumble on the Red Wrestling Tournament. 9 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Family First Week. Free museum

family

admission for grandparents.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Sleigh Rides. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340

www.bn.com 1.5 Thursday • Music for the Heart Concert.

Noon, Sanford Health Atrium, Broadway & 8th Ave. N., Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org • Feast or Famine. Learn about the gray wolf’s hunting and feeding behavior and watch the wolves have their evening meal. Space is limited, call for reservations. 7-8 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 • Acappella Xpress Membership Drive. 7 p.m., Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 1000 14th St. S., Moorhead. Visit acapellaxpress.com for more information

12.31 Saturday • Family First Week. Free museum admission for grandparents.

10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM Derby Girls New Year’s Eve Mixer. Watch skaters from all over the region skate with and against the FM Derby Girls. 7 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, www.fmderbygirls.com

1.6 Friday • Hawaiian Costume Open Gym. Wear a costume and receive $1 off admission. Ages 5-18. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www. tntkidsfitness.com • “New Year Musical Revue.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or www.fmct.org

JANUARY 2012 EVENTS 1.4 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or

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December/January 2012

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• Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com

1.11 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

1.7 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Young Artists Solo Competition.

1 p.m., Christiansen Recital Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218233-8397 or www.fmsymphony.org • Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com • “New Year Musical Revue.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or www.fmct.org

1.12 Thursday • Acappella Xpress Membership Drive. 7 p.m., Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 1000 14th St. S., Moorhead. Visit acapellaxpress.com for more information

1.8 Sunday • “New Year Musical Revue.” 2 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or www.fmct.org

1.13 Friday • Rekkenze Brass. 7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4366 • Monty Python’s “Spamalot.”

8 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com 1.14 Saturday • Jazz Day. All day, Hvidsten Hall of Music, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

• West Fargo Winter Days Party.

2-5 p.m., Cheney Middle School, 825 17th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Family Winter-ific Day. 1-4 p.m., Edgewood Chalet, 19 Golf Course Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Miranda Lambert Concert.

7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com 1.16 Monday • West Fargo Winter Days Kids’ Youth Day. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Call 701-433-5360 or visit www. wfparks.org for more information • Hockeyfest. 1:30-5 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks. com • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com 1.18 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.19 Thursday • Music for the Heart Concert.

Noon, Sanford Health Atrium, Broadway & 8th Ave. N., Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org • Acappella Xpress Membership Drive. 7 p.m., Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 1000 14th St. S., Moorhead. Visit acapellaxpress.com for more information.1.20 Friday • Open Gym. Ages 5-18. 7-9 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www. tntkidsfitness.com 1.21 Saturday • Muffins & Juice with Mother Goose. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or

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www.bn.com • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • West Fargo Winter Days Chili Cook-Off. Registration 3-4 p.m., judging begins at 4 p.m.

West Fargo VFW Post 7564, 308 Sheyenne St., West Fargo, 701433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com • Masterworks Concert Series: Debussy, Chopin & Stravinsky.

8 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www.fmsymphony.org 1.22 Sunday • Masterworks Concert Series: Debussy, Chopin & Stravinsky. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 218-233-8397 or www. fmsymphony.org

1.25 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

Multi-lake ice fishing tournament benefiting Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center. For more information, email fishingforacure@ yahoo.com • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Candlelight Ski/Snowshoe/Hike.

Minnesota ski pass (required) can be purchased at event. Skis of all sizes and a limited amount of snowshoes can be rented at the park. Event will be cancelled if poor weather or snow conditions.

6-9 p.m., Buffalo River State Park, Glyndon, 218-498-2124 • Dancin’ With FM’s Finest.

Ballroom competition featuring local celebrities and Red River Dance competitive teams. Dessert served at 6:30 p.m., event starts at 7:30 p.m., Shanley High School

1.26 Thursday • Admissions Scholarship Concert. 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Acappella Xpress Membership Drive. 7 p.m., Our Redeemer Lutheran Church, 1000 14th St. S., Moorhead. Visit acapellaxpress.com for more information • Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com 1.27 Friday • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. Noon, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com 1.28 Saturday • 5th Annual Fishing for a Cure.

Free admission with donation of cash, canned foods or new toys.

Santa Village at Rheault Farm

Visit Santa • Meet the Reindeer • Make Holiday • Crafts See Model Train Displays • Decorate Cookies with Mrs. Claus

November 26-27, 1-7 pm December 3-4, 1-7 pm December 7-9, 4-8 pm December 10-11, 1-8 pm

December 14-16, 4-8 pm December 17-18, 1-8 pm December 21-22, 4-8 pm December 23, 1-8 pm

2902 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-499-7788 • fargoparks.com

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Auditorium, 5600 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-280-0004 or www. redriverdance.com 1.29 Sunday • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for more information. Pre-registration may be required.

Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1492, 701-241-1495 or www.fargolibrary. org • Teen Crafting. Dec. 1, 8 & 15, 4 p.m.

• Baby Rhyme Time. Storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Dec. 1 & Jan. 5, 6:30 p.m.

• Catch a Train. Model trains and crafts, open to all ages. Dec. 3, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

• Pajama Jamboree Family Storytime. Feel free to wear your PJ’s. Dec. 12 & Jan. 9, 6:30 p.m.

• Flicker Tale Readers Book Club.

Dec. 13 & Jan. 10, 4 p.m.

• Fargo Force Visits the Main Library. Hear stories and meet Fargo Force players. Dec. 13 & Jan. 17, 6:30 p.m.

• eBooks & eAudiobooks Class.

Dec. 14, 6:30 p.m.

• Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. ASL interpreter provided. Dec. 17 & Jan. 21, 10 a.m.

• Paws for Reading. Emerging readers can sign up to read to a therapy pet, registration required.

Dec. 17 & Jan. 21, 1-3 p.m.

• Stuffed Animal Sleepover. Kids can drop off their fuzzy friends for a slumber party and listen to a story.

Dec. 28, 10 a.m.

• LEGO Mania Design Contest.

Open to kids, 12 years and under.

Dec. 28, 2 p.m.

• Winter Read-A-Thon. Begins Jan. 3 Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-4764040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Baby Rhyme Time. Storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Dec. 1 & Jan.

5, 10 a.m.

• Holiday Chef Apron Workshop.

Kids in grades K-6 are invited to make and take a holiday chef apron. Dec. 1, 4 p.m.

• Teen Crafting. Dec. 6 & 13, 4 p.m.

• Pajama Jamboree Family Storytime. Feel free to wear your PJ’s. Dec. 8 & Jan. 5, 6:30 p.m.

• Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. ASL interpreter provided. Dec. 10 & Jan. 14, 10 a.m.

• Free Friday Movies. Dec. 9 & Jan. 13, 1 p.m.

• eBooks and eAudiobooks Class.

Dec. 12, 6:30 p.m.

• Magic Tree House Book Club.

Dec. 18 & Jan. 15, 2 p.m.

• Teen Movie. Dec. 28 & 29, 2 p.m.

• Stuffed Animal Sleepover. Kids can drop off their fuzzy friends for a slumber party and listen to a story.

Dec. 29, 10 a.m.

• Winter Read-A-Thon. Begins Jan. 3 Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-4764026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Storytime for Toddlers &

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30 December/January 2012

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Preschoolers. Dec. 3 & Jan. 7, 10 a.m.

• Northport Classic Book Club.

Dec. 21 & Jan. 18, 6:30 p.m.

• Winter Read-A-Thon. Begins Jan. 3 West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-4335460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Mitten Tree. The public is encouraged to purchase mittens, hats, and scarves to be displayed on a holiday tree. After the season, items will be donated • Children’s Storytime. Tuesdays, 1:30 p.m. & Thursdays, 6:30 p.m.

• Knitty Giddy. Adult group, bring your own supplies. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.

• Ham Radio Group. All adults welcome, children must attend with an adult. Wednesdays, 7 p.m.

• Friday Morning Movies. For preschoolers and caretakers.

Fridays, 10:30 a.m.

• Santa Visits the Library. Dec. 4, 2-4 p.m.

• Gaming at the Library. Mario Kart Racing and Kinect Sports. Dec. 4, Jan. 15 & 29, 2-4 p.m.

• Cookie Exchange. Open to all ages. Bring three-dozen holiday treats in a foil pan and exchange for three-dozen others. Dec. 5, 6:30-8 p.m.

• Origami Boxes. Open to teens and adults. Dec. 8, 7-8 p.m.

• Special Movie Releases. Dec. 10 & 17, Jan. 7 & 28, 2 p.m.

• Mitten Mystery. Open to all children. Enjoy a story, scavenger hunt, and door prizes. Dec. 15, 7-8 p.m.

• Pick a Craft Friday. Open to all ages while crafting supplies last.

Dec. 23, 3-4 p.m.

• Paddle Doodles. Create individual designs with yarn on a paddle game. Dec. 29, 2-4 p.m.

• Computer Classes. Call for class descriptions, dates, and times Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-2337594 or www.larl.org • Scrabble Night. All ages and skill levels welcome. Mondays, 6:30 p.m.

• Teen Computer Night. Thursdays, 4-8 p.m.

• Chess Night. All ages and skill

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Alzheimer’s Association 701-277-9757 or www.alz.org/mnnd • After the Diagnosis • Caring Through the Holidays

levels welcome. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.

• Storytime. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. & Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m.

• Family Craft Night. Tuesdays following Storytime • Baby Bounce Storytime. Parents and babies up to age 2. Thursdays, 10 a.m.

• LEGO Club. Second Thursday of the month, 6 p.m. & second Saturday of the month, 2 p.m.

• Origami Club: Origami Ornaments. Dec. 5, 6:30 p.m.

• Wii Wednesdays. Dec. 7 & Jan. 4, 6 p.m.

• The Life & Art of Snowflake Bentley. Dec. 12, 6:30 p.m.

• Snow Fairy Party. Dress up like a winter fairy, make some sparkly art, and sample some fairy treats. Dec. 17, 2 p.m.

• Lost Boys of Sudan & The Panyijiar Library Project.

PACODES will talk about their work to build libraries in South Sudan.

Dec. 19, 7 p.m.

• Hot Reads for Cool Nights! Adult winter reading program. Begins Jan. 3 • Minnesota Author & Journalist, Greg Breining. Jan. 10, 7 p.m.

• Dolls Through the Ages.

Presentation on antique to vintage dolls and free verbal appraisals on up to 3 dolls. Jan. 14, 2 p.m.

• Jane Austen Book Club: Emma.

Jan. 17, 7 p.m.

• Getting Out of Debt. Learn strategies for paying off debt and saving money. Jan. 21, 2 p.m.

• Ninjabread Men. Kids can decorate a cookie to celebrate the 2012 “Kick It Up—Read!” theme.

Jan. 23, 6:30 p.m.

• Comic Ventriloquist, James Wedgwood. Jan. 24, 10 a.m.

• Groundhog Hunt. Come for Groundhog Day stories and search the library for our groundhog. Jan. 31, 6:30 p.m.

• Computer Classes. Call for class descriptions, dates, and times

The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2326102 or www.childrensmuseumyunker.org • Super Science Saturdays • Winter Wonderland Workshop • Young at Art • Yunkie Club Early Childhood Family Education Probstfield Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S, Moorhead, 218284-3400 or https://communityed. moorhead.k12.mn.us • Baby Connection (Birth-12 mos.)

• Family Fun (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Frozen Fun Day (Birthkindergarten entry) • Game Night (4 yrs-kindergarten entry) • Gym Fun (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Jumpin’ in the Gym (Birthkindergarten entry) • Make It Take It (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Ooey Gooey Fun (Birthkindergarten entry) • Simple Gifts (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Thrilling Threes (36-48 mos.)

Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-3648100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training • Birthing Center Tour • Developing the Art of Breastfeeding • Great Expectations • Happiest Baby on the Block • Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks. com • Accelerated Artists • Artmania • Aspiring Artists • Create and Explore • Fencing

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required.

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• Holiday Fun • Mr. Claus Class • Mrs. Claus Class • Youth Snowmobile Safety Course

Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-2779240 or www.redriverzoo.org • Pint-size Explorers

Fraser, Ltd. 2902 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • CPR • First Aid

Sanford Health 1711 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.

Sanfordhealth.org • Baby Signs • Better Choices, Better Health Workshop • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • Car Seat 101 • Embrace Education Series • Family and Friends—CPR • Heartsaver CPR Day Care Providers • Honor Your Health • Infant Massage • Lamaze • Nutrition for Your Heart • Our Family is Having a Baby!

• Weight Loss Surgery Information Seminar • Your Labor Experience—What to Expect

Healing Arts Chiropractic 3240 15th St. S., Fargo, 701-4519070 or info@healingartschiropractic. com • How to Stay Young the First 100 Years Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2323821 or www.plainsart.org • Kid Quest Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu. edu/casscountyextension/homeand-family. Visit website for classes offered • Nurturing America’s Military Families • Nurtured Heart Approach

U of M Regional Extension 218-236-2005 • Parents Forever The Village Financial Resource Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-2353328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-2994623 • Annual Faculty Art Exhibition.

Begins Jan. 17 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2938043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org Fargodome 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701241-9100 • Fraser, Ltd. Festival of Trees.

View beautifully decorated trees

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32 December/January 2012

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during regular business hours and events. Contact Barb G. at Fraser, Ltd. at 701-232-3301 for more information. Ends Dec. 2 Gallery 4, Ltd. 114 Broadway, Fargo, 701-2376867 or www.gallery4fargo.com

Happy Holidays

Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org • The Boom: 1945-1960. Begins Dec. 9 • Uncle Sam’s New Deal in Minnesota. Ends Dec. 30 • Ordinary Vikings

from The Village Family Magazine

MSUM Art Gallery Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, 1104 7th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-477-2284 or www.mnstate.edu/art/Gallery. shtml MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2920 • Season of Light. Dec. 1-22 Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2323821 or www.plainsart.org • See Acts of Audacious Daring!

The Circus World of Judy Onofrio. Ends Jan. 8 • You Like This: A Democratic Approach to the Museum Collection. Ends Jan. 15 • Witness to Life: A Photo Journal of Hospice Care The Rourke Art Gallery & Museum Museum: 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, Gallery: 523 S. 4th St., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.rourkeart.org • Stoked: Five Artists of Fire and Clay. Ends Jan. 8 • Recent work by Brad Bachmeier and others. Ends Jan. 15 The Spirit Room Art Gallery 111 Broadway, Fargo, 701-2370230 or www.spiritroom.net

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YOUR FAMILY z spirituality

virtual worship Local Christian Churches Tap Into Technology

By Roxane B. Salonen Arvin Halvorson is a man of God about to turn 80; a believer who has kept near the faith all these years through staying connected to a worship community.

But in recent years, when he and his wife, Twila, headed south for the winter, the retiree felt a pang of regret at leaving his hometown of Detroit Lakes, Minn. As much as they both looked forward to the warmth of the South, the couple felt a chill at leaving their community at First Lutheran Church.

Neither could have imagined that someday they’d be in Florida watching their church services on a small screen hundreds of miles away from their Minnesota church, not to mention that the images would be transmitted through floating vessels in the sky called satellites.

Thanks to their pastor’s foresight, the Halvorsons no longer experience the effects of seasonal church withdrawal. Now, whenever they’re away, they watch their faith community’s Sunday services through webcast—in real time.

“It was neat to hear what was going on back home as well as hearing the local pastors,” Arvin said of the first time they watched one of the webcasts.

The couple had already been primed to appreciate the connecting capacities of today’s technology through Skype, which had first allowed them an online encounter with their grandson in college several years before. “We’ve also been able to listen to things like his orchestra concerts at St. Olaf College,” Twila said.

“We can follow all of that online, live.”

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They’re so tickled with online connections that they sold the idea of Internet church to a friend who visited recently from Seattle. “His wife is homebound,” Arvin said. “We showed him the webcast and he commented on what a wonderful service it was.”

Jonathan Hood, technical director at Bethel Evangelical Free Church in Fargo, knows a fellow congregant whose friend was disappointed about having to miss the baptism of a relative due to distance. But because Bethel offers live webcasts of their services, an online viewing of the event was possible.

Another of his fellow worshippers found the webcast helpful when his son was home sick. Thanks to the online sermon, Hood said, the man was able to feel a part of that weekend’s worship experience while tending to his son’s health. The same was true for a woman whose mother was laid up for six weeks after surgery. She expressed gratitude that neither had to feel left out of weekend worship due to the webcast.

Hood was sold on the webcast idea well before hearing stories from local believers. He’s been working to help churches use today’s technological advancements for seven years—including churches in Ohio and Florida, where he witnessed firsthand the positive crossing of technology and faith. “When webcasting was brought up at Bethel, I pushed it further because I’d already done it and saw the benefits, and I knew we could do it at a relatively low cost without any outside help,” Hood said.

Another obvious benefit to an area that loses a sizable portion of its population to the lakes in warm-weather months, according to Hood: “We’re able to provide a way for people who are gone during the summertime to stay connected to the life of the church.”

Responding to the naysayers As is always the case with new technology, skeptics abound.

A main concern is that once the ability to watch services online takes off full blast, churches will lose congregants opting to stay home rather than engage in the life of their worshipping communities. But Hood said that fear has yet to play out in a significant way.

“Our goal isn’t to send this out into the community and tell people not to go to our church,” Hood said. “It’s really to serve our community. Those who can’t make it to the weekend service can watch it from wherever they’re at,” he said, adding optimistically that the potential exists to draw a following of people who normally might not attend any service.

And though online church service is in its infancy in our area, with only a couple local churches currently offering live webcasting, Hood feels confident churchgoers remain drawn to the unparalleled benefits of firsthand worship for the purpose of gathering with their community to stay close to and accountable in their faith.

Rachelle Allen, a Fargo resident and college student currently working on an internship in Dallas, said she’s loved staying in touch with her home congregation at Bethel during her semester away. She’s even been able to have discussions about the sermons with her parents back home. But her time keeping up online hasn’t replaced the real experience of worshipping with other believers. “I also attend a church here in Dallas on

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Sundays, so I am not completely relying on the online service to get the message every week, although I do watch almost every Sunday,” she said.

Diving in head first A few years ago, the Halvorson's pastor, Pastor Dave Peterson, was discussing with his staff whether his congregation should employ cable community access or online webcasting to bring church to those not able to participate in weekend services.

In the end, and without a lot of data to back up the effectiveness of one over the other, online won out, in part because unlike televised church services, viewers of webcasts are not dependent on being in front of a screen at a specific time. The concern remains, however, of how to adequately address the needs of people who are shut-ins and/or in a nursing home without computer access.

“We’re still working out the technical aspects,” Pastor Dave said, admitting it’s been a learning process that’s come with a few glitches. One kink that needed to be worked out included whether an outdoor summer service involving hundreds of participants could be webcast. Much to his delight, the service went off without a hitch.

The community also has refined the number of services it streams, cutting back from all three Sunday sermons to just one to avoid duplication. “We’re trying to stay as close to the cutting edge as possible, but not the bleeding edge,” Pastor Dave said. “Does it amplify the workload? Yes, without question, but we feel this is the language that people are

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speaking, so we need to do it and hopefully we’ll be able to do it well.”

And that can only happen, he said, when a group of core people within a church are committed to the cause. “Is there a team large enough and passionate enough to make this happen through all the ups and downs?” he asked. “Right now we have a team of about four making this happen. What a gift. If it was one or two it would never fly.”

The key to working with available technology, he emphasized, is viewing it as a tool, not an end in itself. The mission of bringing Christ to people comes first. “Whether it’s a projection in the sanctuary or webcasting, those are not the message, they’re the tool,” he said. “We want to make sure that these tools help to serve the worship and not get in the way.”

Evolution of a regional webcast business Greg Stromme, business manager for Webcast America based in Annandale, Minn.—the company that got First Lutheran set up with its webcasts—agrees that the human element comes first. In fact, the idea behind the company his brother and a friend founded in late 2007 centered on using technology to bolster human connections. “He was bemoaning the fact that our mom, 84, was no longer as mobile and wasn’t getting to see her grandkids at some of their sporting events,” Stromme explained.

After conducting some research, the founders saw some

success in webcasting at high schools in the Twin Cities area.

Unlike some, though, they decided they wanted their service to be free to viewers. They hired staff to work on the technical aspects and, with minimal equipment, were able to “stick our big toe in” and start webcasting high school events.

More quickly than they could have guessed, things took off. “It’s always been the type of business where we get a lot of pats on the back, because we’re connecting grandma to granddaughter and other family members,” Stromme said.

From schools came a demand from funeral homes—the result of people living distances from their loved ones yearning to be part of funeral services. And from there, a few churches began approaching the company about webcasting sermons.

More ‘what-ifs’ quietly dissipate One of the biggest worries Stromme has heard from churches contemplating webcasting is that worshippers could discontinue tithing. But that concern could be assuaged, he said, by something as simple as placing a “donate now” button on the church website where the webcast is displayed.

A similar fear has been echoed by school administrators worried that webcasts would mean a loss of revenue when people stayed home rather than paying gate admissions.

But again, the reality has not matched up with the negative projections.

“The reality is that being there is not the same as watching

Webcasting for fish, near and far As a pastor’s son, Jonathan Hood has long understood the concept of being a fisher of men. And as technical director of a local church, he’s enjoyed being in the loop of using technology to reel in the faithful.

Though only a couple Fargo-Moorhead churches have ventured into the oceanic waters of webcasting—Trinity Lutheran in Moorhead and Bethel Evangelical Free in Fargo—a fair number offer recorded versions of their sermons on their websites.

Among them are Salem Evangelical Free, First Assembly, Harvest Community Church and River City Church, all Fargo.

According to Hood, more and more people are going online to keep in touch with their faith community. “I read a statistic that 72 percent of people will check out your website before they’ll come to your church.”

While local churches work on catching up with available technology, Hood has been taking notes on some national church websites, including one that has an online Bible that can bring the viewer to a specific passage and allow them to take online notes. “In some, if you’re watching a live event you can even chat with other people who are in attendance,” he noted.

Lifechurch.tv (left) is an online campus that incorporates thousands of tech-oriented people in its production.

“They’ve got two full-time pastors who are there strictly to pastor the online community. They spend insane amounts of money to connect with people, and they have places all over the country— separate campuses—that are involved.”

This is not your grandpa’s fishing rod, in other words. As technology changes how the faithful connect with their worship communities, the list of excuses for the believer not to take part in a weekend service seem to be thinning out, and could soon disappear altogether.

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a webcast,” Stromme said. “The webcast is really used to supplement the services at a church when you can’t be there. It makes it readily available so you don’t have to live and die by that timeline. It does what DVRs do. Most people these days have busy lives and they want to control their schedule.”

Stromme also sees the potential for more people joining a church because of having seen the webcast, because like other consumers, potential congregants may want to scope out the goods before “buying,” and webcasts can allow them a look prior to making a full-out commitment. “It’s a non-threatening way for them to see this environment beforehand,” he said.

Stromme said it’s only a matter of time before webcasting in churches becomes mainstream. His reasons are twofold.

Churches, like other organizations, want to keep up with the Joneses. They want to draw new faithful to their particular house of worship. And webcasting is going to become another attractive feature to add to help achieve that end. Then, as technology becomes even better, the production level will increase, thereby causing even more demand.

“The bandwidths going into people’s homes are getting better, and I think eventually we’ll be piping in what we’re seeing on the computer directly into our larger-screen TVs, and the quality is going to be great,” he said. “The future for this is bright. I think it will become a commodity. It’s not going to go away.”

Proof Stamp

Date: ____

OK__ Changes__

we think of technology we think of the Internet, but it’s really all across the board,” he said. “First we had sermon audios, then video, and now a live service. You can also now download sermon notes and videos.”

In fact, he said, technology is really “changing the way people do church” in a dramatic way. “It’s everything from the connections they make on Facebook to using online Bibles to small-group material they can download,” he said. “People are staying in touch with people from church in a new way. It’s no longer once a week they’re coming to church, it’s every day.”

And because technology is becoming naturally absorbed into our everyday lives, people are no longer as intimidated by it as they once were. “It’s just a commonplace in life now. And with webcasts, the church is embracing that by saying, ‘Here’s an avenue you can use to further your walk with Christ.’ It’s really the next step for churches.”

Regardless of how technology might change how churches work, Hood said one thing will always remain unchanged.

“Christians need other Christians. We can’t be an island onto ourselves. We’re part of a larger body, something bigger than ourselves.”

Roxane B. Salonen is an award-winning freelance writer and children’s author who lives in Fargo with her husband and five children. To learn more, visit www.roxanesalonen.blogspot.com.

Beyond webcasting Signature________________

For Hood, webcasting is just a part of the bigger contingent of technological tools at the disposal of today’s church. “When

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December/January 2012

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YOUR FAMILY z do-it-together

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Capturing Your Family’s Stories

By Meredith Holt Illustration by Dennis Krull

Y

ou may have an idea of your heritage and your family tree, but do you know your family’s stories? Can you tell your children the tale of how your parents met? Do you know where your grandmother—their great-grandmother—grew up or went to school? Stories “help a family define their identity and stay in touch with who they are,” author Donald Davis says in his book, “Telling Your Own Stories: For Family and Classroom Storytelling, Public Speaking, and Personal Journaling.” Stories can’t be found on birth and death certificates, or in census records. They go beyond the facts.

“Your older relatives (and not-so-older—don’t forget your siblings and younger people’s perspectives) can tell you stories and share information you will never be able to find in historical records or other sources,” says Mark Peihl, archivist for the Historical and Cultural Society of Clay County. “The stories may not be 100 percent accurate in the details, but they can tell us how your relatives felt about the things going on around them.”

Everyone—young and old—can get involved in a family storytelling project. The process can open lines of communication, help create bonds between family members, and bridge generation gaps.

Imagine the helpful, interesting, quirky, and delightful details you’re likely to uncover. “By exploring the lives of your parents and grandparents, for instance, you might gain insight into your family’s health history or discover talents and affinities that run in the family,” says Janette Sargent-Hamill, author of the book “Your Family, Your Story: A Guide to Digital Storytelling.”

“You might also reconnect with long-lost relatives or develop a new understanding of continuity with your family.”

Getting Started Capturing your family’s stories can seem daunting. Don’t get overwhelmed by trying to capture everything from everyone right away. The most important thing is to get started! As Sargent-Hamill points out, “When our storytellers are gone, our history is lost.”

Some people may be reluctant to talk about themselves. “It isn’t always easy to convince them that their lives are important and why,” Sargent-Hamill says. She suggests telling them, “You are a part of the history of your city, state, and county,” or “Only you can let your children and grandchildren know about the lives of previous generations. You are their link to the past.”

Begin with the elders in your family. Many will welcome the opportunity to reflect on days long gone with a captive audience. Then, work your way through the generations. Storygathering should be a perpetual process the whole family can enjoy.

Questions Prompt Stories: Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions, not “yes” or “no” questions. Many family stories revolve around important events such as birthdays, holidays, graduations, marriage proposals, weddings, births, and deaths.

Those are great places to start a conversation. Here are some more answers for you and your children to seek from family members: • where they grew up • where they went to school • where they went on family vacations • their first or favorite pets • their most embarrassing moments • their first car • their first date

Twenty questions for interviewing relatives 1. What’s your first memory?

2. Who’s the oldest relative you remember (and what do you remember about him or her)?

3. How did your parents meet?

4. Tell me about your childhood home.

5. How did your family celebrate holidays when you were a child?

6. How did you meet your spouse?

7. Tell me about your wedding day.

8. Tell me about the day your first child was born.

9. What were your favorite school subjects?

10. Tell me about your favorite teacher.

11. Tell me about some of your friends.

12. Describe your first job.

13. What did you do with your first paycheck?

family

14. What was your favorite job and why?

15. Who are some of your heroes?

16. Where were you when you heard that President Kennedy was shot? (Add or substitute other important historical events.)

17. What is your experience with or opinion of computers? (Add or substitute other modern conveniences, such as television, microwaves, and cellphones.)

18. Tell me about some of your favorite songs (also books, movies, and TV shows).

19. Tell me about some of the places where you’ve been happiest.

20. What haven’t we talked about that you’d like to discuss in the time we have left? (This is a good way to begin wrapping up the interview.)

Source: Family Tree Magazine

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Keepsakes Prompt Stories: Photo albums, scrapbooks, journals, letters, or, nowadays, emails, are good starting points.

Ask Grandpa to sit on the couch with the kids and go through a photo album of his younger days. The photographs will trigger memories he can share with his grandchildren and they’ll likely have questions for him as well.

Possessions Prompt Stories: Material possessions can also help open the storytelling floodgates. Where did the grandfather clock come from? Who made the lamp on the foyer table? What about the painting in the hallway? “Your things have stories to tell beyond the family photo album and family tree,” author Sultan Somjee says in his book, “Stories From Things: Write Your Memoir in 10 Steps.”

Preservation First and foremost, family stories need to be told. How you capture and preserve them is up to you. Stories can simply be handwritten or typed. If the storyteller is comfortable with it, audio, video, or digital recording is ideal. “Recorded interviews

also have the added value of capturing the interviewees’ voices and, if video recordings are made, those persons’ moving images, too. There is a thrill in listening to the actual voices and viewing the moving images of your own family’s elders,” the American Folklife Center says.

Handwritten stories can be compiled in a family book and perhaps placed in a binder that can be added to in years to come. To jazz up the book, ask artistic family members or the kids to illustrate some of the stories. If possible, audio, video, or digital stories should be edited together, copied, and shared with family members.

Whatever the topic and however you choose to capture it, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good,” Peihl says.

“So many people get hung up on trying to do things perfectly that they never get around to doing anything.” Gather those family stories now. You’ll be thankful you did.

Meredith Holt is a copy editor and freelance writer.

She lives in Fargo.

A Fun Family Story Twist: Pick a well-known family story, one that has been told countless times, and ask family members to write out their version of it. Young children can draw a picture portrayal. The results can be both eye-opening and hilarious!

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YOUR FAMILY z parenting

SINGLE PARENTs

in College

by Janelle Brandon

M

any college students feel the burden of heavy class loads, piles of homework, little money and maybe, the accountability of an outside job. Add to this the enormous responsibility of raising a child as a single parent and you have a hectic, exciting, and stressful, but hopefully rewarding student life.

Four single-parent college students in the F-M area give us a quick glimpse into their busy schedules, daily obstacles, devotion to their children, and hopes for the future.

KRISTEN TOUTGES: Art student at MSUM; single mom to Sunny (3)

Kristen Toutges, single mom to three-year-old Sunny Ronin, is pursuing a degree in Art at Minnesota State University in Moorhead (MSUM).

Toutges took advantage of the MSUM Early Education Center for Sunny’s care while she attended classes, but had to find alternative child care with summer hours so she could take summer classes. Toutges nursed her son while she was at school, which further complicated her busy school day.

Finding the perfect class schedule is always a challenge.

“All of my classes have to be in a cluster that works around my son’s naptime and bedtime,” says Toutges. She appreciates the online class offerings at MSUM, which are incredibly helpful for her as a single parent. She can take half of her classes online, allowing her to stay home with Sunny and not incur extra child care expenses. Toutges would love to see even more

42 December/January 2012

online classes for upperclass students.

Another challenge for Toutges is the price tag for her education. Even with financial aid, the cost of college is a heavy load for her to carry as the sole provider for Sunny.

Balancing classes, homework, and quality time with Sunny is a constant struggle. Often, Toutges stays up later than she should and dishes get neglected.

“School and single parenthood is a challenge altogether, but it can be done,” affirms Toutges. “It just takes motivation to succeed!”

If Toutges could make a single parent college student wish list, she would ask for breastfeeding-friendly areas on campus.

“In the old child care center, I was asked to nurse in the storage closet ‘for the comfort of the children,’” recalls Toutges. “I agreed to it at the time because I didn’t know the Minnesota laws regarding mothers’ breastfeeding rights.”

Her other wish would be for a policy that would increase flexibility regarding missing class. “Once my son gets sick for a week, I get sick for another week,” continues Toutges.

“Suddenly I’ve got four to six absences and a lowered grade.”

Toutges juggles her relationship with her son, family and friends, schoolwork, classes, other jobs, and housework.

Freetime and a social life are the sacrifice. “Last year I was chosen for the faculty-student art show on campus,” shares Toutges. “This year my painting teacher told me to enter various pieces into the juried art show. It’s encouraging because it shows I can balance my desire to be an artist with school and motherhood.”

Toutges thinks going back to school is a brilliant idea for her as a single parent. If she weren’t in school, she’d likely be working two jobs for very little pay, paying tons of money for daycare, and very rarely seeing her son. By being in school,

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she’s able to spend every day with Sunny and, hopefully, secure a brighter future for herself and her child.

Her advice for other single-parent students: “Don’t rush the process,” advises Toutges. “Don’t feel pressured to pile on the credits just to finish quickly.

Take time with your child and balance that with your classes.”

MASON HEIM: Nursing student at Rasmussen College; single dad to Phoenix (3)

“I ran out the door and headed to the hospital, forgetting all about my paper,” continues Heim. “I did not have enough time to finish my final draft before it was handed in, so I had to give my professor the rough draft and explain the circumstances.”

Heim knows he’s fortunate to be able to attend college classes. “I feel the best part in my story will be the day I get my degree and am able to pursue a career that will provide a great future for my daughter,” says Heim.

His advice for other single-parent students: “Take that first giant step and go back to school,” advises Heim.

“Education is the biggest reason many people have successful careers and happy lives free of financial stress.

No one is going to make you go back, but you need to look at your children and just bite down and push through it.”

“I struggle most with guilt about not always being home and not spending as much time with Kannon as I would like,” says Wallace.

Wallace has had her ups and downs as a single parent attending school. It’s a demanding pace. Knowing that she’s one

8 Tips for Single Parents Going Back to School.

VillageFamilyMag.org

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Date: ____

Mason Heim, a nursing student at Rasmussen College, and single dad to three-year-old Phoenix, considers himself lucky to have extremely understanding classmates and instructors. They seem to understand that college is sometimes like a second job and that duties to family come first.

“Challenges of being a single parent in college seem to be a never-ending list,” admits Heim. “I want to spend as much time as possible watching my child grow up and enjoy every moment.”

Along with the monumental task of raising a child, Heim must keep up with his classes and homework, and his full-time job. Heim stresses that it’s important to strike a balance to keep one’s sanity intact.

“I think many college campuses could help single parents by providing information and resources specific to the challenges we’re experiencing,” says Heim. “Specific programs that would help us financially through college and child care resources would be great.”

At one point in his college career, Heim was working on a huge paper about Ghandi’s impact on society for his sociology class. He finished his rough draft and was about to start revisions for the final paper when he received a call that Phoenix was in the emergency room for an allergic reaction to peanut butter.

family

TISHA WALLACE: Nursing student at NDSCS in Fargo; single mom to Kannon (2)

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Tisha Wallace, single mom to twoyear-old Kannon, is pursuing a degree in nursing at North Dakota State College of Science (NDSCS), Fargo campus. She’s received an incredible amount of support from her instructors as a single parent.

One of the greatest challenges she’s encountered is time management.

Because her child is her number one priority, Wallace sometimes has a difficult time having the energy at the end of the day to stay awake long enough to spend an adequate amount of time on studying and homework.

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December/January 2012

43

semester closer to finishing, and that she’s making life easier and better for herself and Kannon in the long run, helps Wallace stay focused and keep plugging away at her goal.

Her advice for other single-parent students: “It isn’t always easy, but you can do it,” says Wallace. “And get financial aid. It was definitely easier to get financial aid as a single parent.”

ERIK MEYER: MFA in Creative Writing from MSUM; single dad to Pura (5) Erik Meyer, single dad to Pura, five, holds an MFA in creative writing from MSUM, and also has a degree in English education, a degree in English, and certificates in publishing and European studies.

Although no longer a student, Meyer has some insight into life on campus for a single dad.

Learn more. Earn more.

Your choice.

Pura attended the child care center at MSUM when Meyer was in school. Meyer notes that many campus men’s rooms do not have changing tables, which makes it difficult to care completely and comfortably for a small child.

Single-parent college students learn quickly how important it is to have a schedule. Many are not only students and parents, but employees (or in Meyer’s case—business owners), too.

Getting a college degree while raising a child is a tremendous accomplishment. Meyer prides himself on being on time, keeping himself financially afloat, and lovingly supporting Pura since the beginning.

His advice for other single-parent students: “Don’t go back to school unless you see it translating directly into a job that will free up your life,” forewarns Meyer. “It’s expensive, and student loans come calling.”

While the challenges of student life vary depending on the student and his or her situation, “to better the life of my child” is the reason all of these single parents give for furthering their education. Balancing their duties as parents with the already demanding schedule of a college student is a challenge, but one they all feel is, or was, worth it.

Janelle Brandon is a wife to Lukas, mom to Dylan (4) and Julia (2), writer, doula, and marketer living in Moorhead. To learn more, visit www.janellebrandon.com.

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YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Chunky Chocolate Treats 4 cups milk chocolate chips 1 cup raisins 3 cups any combination of chopped pretzel sticks and nuts (We used almonds and sunflower nuts.)

3 cups semisweet chocolate chips Melt milk chocolate chips in a double boiler or slowly, stirring regularly, in the microwave. Stir in pretzels, nuts and raisins. Pour and spread mixture into a foil-lined, 13x9 pan and refrigerate for one hour. Melt the semisweet chocolate chips in the same manner as above. Pour the melted chocolate over the firm chocolate/nut/pretzel mixture. Refrigerate for approximately two hours until solid.

Decorative Candle Pillar candle, any size Map pins

Push map pins into candle to create any shape or design you wish. Makes a great holiday gift!

Bangle Bracelet Ornament Bangle bracelet Ribbon Hot glue gun Bells Wrap bracelet in ribbon and secure with a dot of hot glue. Hang a small bell or jingle bells from bracelet with ribbon. Glue on ribbon bows. Tie a loop of ribbon or string around the bangle for hanging.

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YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom

Even a small star shines in the darkness. – Finnish Proverb

I was sixteen and found a job packing groceries at a Boys Market in Gardena, a Los Angeles suburb. It was the 1950s, and in those days grocery stores used boxes for heavier items.

My best creation is my children.

– Diane Von Furstenberg

I thought everything was fine, until the end of the first day, when the manager told me not to return. I wasn’t sacking fast enough.

I was a painfully shy kid, and I surprised even myself when I blurted out, “Let me come back tomorrow and try one more time.

I know I’ll do it better!” Speaking up went against my very nature, but it worked. I got a second chance, moved a lot faster, and for the next year and a half boxed groceries from four to ten on weekdays for $1.25 an hour and sometimes all day on Saturday and Sunday.

That moment when I spoke up is burned in my memory, and so is the lesson: If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can’t just sit back and hope it will happen. You’ve got to make it happen.

– Chuck Norris

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack in will.

– Vince Lombardi

No man is so poor as to have nothing worth giving: as well might the mountain streamlets say they have nothing to give the sea because they are not rivers. Give what you have. To someone it may be better than you dare to think.

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Look at a day when you are extremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing. It’s when you’ve had everything to do, and you’ve done it.

– Margaret Thatcher

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The Village presents…

'Twas the Night before Christmas … a Red Stocking card, coming to a mailbox near you.

Read a heartwarming tale of our humble beginnings that continue to shape and inspire our direction today.

The History of the Red Stocking Campaign

Over 100 years ago, volunteers at the North Dakota Children’s Home began writing to people throughout the region, asking them to support the work of the Home by filling the orphan’s red stockings with donations.

The Red Stocking Campaign continues today to support the ongoing work of The Village Family Service Center.

If you didn’t receive a Red Stocking card and pledge form, you can donate online at www.TheVillageFamily.org by clicking on the ‘Donate Now’ button in the upper right hand corner.

DONATE NOW

1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103 • (701) 451-4900 • 800-627-8220 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead, MN 56560 • (701) 451-4811

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