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April/May 2013

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YOUR FAMILY z from the editor April/May 2013 Vol. 17, No. 2 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Advertising Sales Madalyn Pezalla Calendar Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, David Dougherty, Lyman Edds, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Nancy McKenzie, Dale Mowry, Michelle Powers, Joy Query, Becky Walen

For advertising information, call 701-451-5000 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4937 or email magazine@TheVillageFamily.org Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2013 The Village Family Magazine.

Life is a series of milestone moments. I was driving my car one August day, listening to the radio. A song I love came on called, “Find Your Wings,” by Mark Harris. The song talks about how children are ours just for a moment and we do all we can for them in our quest to help them find “their wings.” The song touched me profoundly that day because I was getting ready to send my firstborn off to college, a huge step in his life and mine—definitely a milestone. After the song was over, the announcer said a caller was touched by the song because she had a newborn. She was getting ready to return to work after maternity leave and would be leaving her baby at daycare. That milestone moment connected her to the song. I got home that night and saw a post on Facebook from my sister-in-law. She was lamenting the first day of kindergarten for her firstborn. That was her milestone moment. Motherhood, and parenthood—I don’t want to ignore fathers—is filled with milestone moments. The babbling baby who bats around Cheerios on his high chair tray and finally gets that little morsel into his mouth is soon the gawky teenager licking the remains of powdered sugar off his fingers so you won’t know he stole the last donut. Then, in a flash, he’s the young man professing his love to a woman and slipping a ring on her finger. How do we, as mothers, prepare for all the milestone moments? In her essay, “Grow with it! How to Thrive at Each Stage of Motherhood,” the author acknowledges that each stage of a child’s development has challenges. As we overcome those challenges, she reminds us to cherish the journey. One of the challenges we discuss in this issue is Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Writer Patricia Carlson examines the topic in her article, “Autism: Eight Things Everyone Should Know.” The challenges are many. Children don’t outgrow ASD, but there are resources available to help them cope and lead the most productive lives possible. Many parents want to make it clear, ASD doesn’t define their children. One mother stated it well: “Autism is what they have, not who they are.” I think this article will provide some helpful information so we can all learn more about autism—and some tools for those whose lives are impacted by the disorder. As a mother, my wish for you this spring is that you can cherish the moments with your children, in spite of the challenges tossed in your way. Happy Mother’s Day.

All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.

About the Cover Photo Aryah (2) Photography by Stevie Rae Photography (see ad page 32)

Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

April/May 2013

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departments z change

6 Grow With It! How to Thrive at Each Stage of Motherhood

Motherhood is full of surprises. This essay will show you how to embrace the chaos and enjoy the ride. z consumer

16 Don’t Make Snap Judgments about Snapchat

Your kids know what Snapchat is, but do you? Here’s a quick primer on this messaging app that allows users to send messages, pictures, and videos that disappear once they’re viewed.

z feature

19 Autism: 8 Things Everyone Should Know

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) affects 1 in 88 American children. Learn what parents and advocates think should be common knowledge about ASD. z parenting

34 Role Models and the Young People They Inspire

We asked local tweens and teens to tell us about their role models and the types of people they admire. z money

40 Money-Saving Vacation Tips

Vacations can be budget-busting adventures. But, with some planning, and these helpful hints, you don’t have to break the bank. in every issue

z gary’s opinion.......9 z books & movies...10 z mom’s view..........12 z dad’s view............13

z events calendar.....24 z food & fun.............45 z words & wisdom.. .46

6),

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YOUR FAMILY z change

By Heidi Smith Luedtke, PhD

hen you’re pregnant, nine months feels like an insanely long time. The joy of knowing you have a new life inside you intensifies as the baby grows and kicks and hiccups. Along with the wait comes the worry. Each twinge and tickle makes you wonder if something is wrong. You just want to gaze into your baby’s eyes, count his toes, and know that everything is alright. Each stage of motherhood brings joys and challenges. Moms who thrive approach the process with openness, patience, and a sense of humor. Motherhood is a wild, wild ride.

Just grow with it. 6

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The Early Years: Can’t See the Forest for the Laundry Mountains of laundry and epic exhaustion are not-so-happy facts of life in this stage. Remember, sleep deprivation is used to torture prisoners of war. “I once went to the grocery store with my shirt on inside out,” Kris Koenig, mother of five girls ages 5 to 15, recalls. “It was nice of my 3-year-old to tell me when we got home.” Temper tantrums, potty training, and limit-testing can try the patience of any mom. But some timeless tips can help you thrive. • Pay attention to the simple joys of motherhood. “Nothing beats super sloppy baby kisses,” says Koenig. Snuggling your baby, smelling her hair, and watching her fall asleep in your arms is amazing. “I also loved nursing my kids. It made me feel like I was giving them something special that they couldn’t get anywhere else,” says Mary Miller, mother of two. Fun firsts like smiling, walking, and talking make every mom swoon. • Trust your instincts. Being a new mom is daunting and there is no manual. You don’t really know what’s “right” or “wrong.” You have to figure it out. “Everyone wants to tell you the best way, but their approaches may not work for you,” says Miller.

The School Years: Homework and Carpool, Oh My! Letting go of control is challenging. Kids spend much of their day in school and you can’t take up residence in the adjacent desk. Bullying is a real threat, and kids aren’t always aware of the physical or social dangers they face. You can’t protect them 24/7, but you can keep these ideas in mind as your children start spending more time with teachers, coaches, and classmates than with you. • Ease children into independence. Watching your child become independent is truly a joy, says Koenig. “Each year on the first day of school I shed a few tears, but they are

family

happy tears because each year brings new experiences and knowledge.” Your kids will choose their own friends and make decisions without you. But they’re not grown up yet. “My kids still like me to lie with them at night and tuck them in,” says Miller. “I treasure that. My son claims he’s too old to hold hands in public, so I sneak in hugs on the sly.” • Practice good communication. “Listen to your kids, be curious and ask questions,” says Cathy Cassani Adams, Parent Coach and author of “The Self-Aware Parent: 19 Lessons for Growing with Your Children.” You may be spending less time together, but stay tuned into their interests. • Nurture your own interests. “Put yourself on the list,” says Adams. If you don’t spend time alone, you won’t know who you are anymore. Set a good example and pursue passions of your own.

Teens and Beyond: Up, Up, and Away Teenagers change their minds almost as often as they change their clothes. And before you know it, they’ve changed into adults. To handle the transition, consider these helpful hints. • Let them lead. As much as you’d like to chart their life’s course for them, your kids will follow their own paths. They’ll date the bad boy next door whether you approve or not. In fact, they might like him more if you don’t! Let them tell you who they are rather than telling them who to be. If you’re lucky, they’ll hire you on as a consultant. • Appreciate them. “It fills my heart with great pride to see what an amazing person my teen is becoming,” Koenig enthuses. It’s gratifying to see the results of your earlier teachings: kindness, respect, creativity, and achievement. Missie Ellis, mom to two twentysomethings enjoys their holiday homecoming. “I love to listen to them interact with one another because, despite the sibling rivalries they had growing up, their bond of brotherly love is very apparent.”

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• Support them through failure. Your children may suffer big setbacks, like job loss and divorce. “Talk to your grown kids about your feelings and your mistakes; be real and be human,” says Adams. By doing so, you let them know what they are feeling is normal. • Fill the void. Kids growing up, moving out, and having lives of their own is the goal for every parent. But an empty nest is an adjustment. “There is a void I feel without my kids around me,” says Ellis. “I’m not sure when—or if—that will end.” If you feel lonely, lean on friends your own age. Rekindle romance with your partner. Rediscover what fulfills you as a person.

Lovin’ Every Minute of It When challenges overwhelm, it’s natural to wish your kids were at a different stage of development. And we usually love the stage that plays to our strengths. You may feel comfortable dealing with your kids as babies but fear the terrible twos (and threes). Or you may wish that your kids would grow up overnight so you could communicate more rationally, on an adult level. When that happens, reflect on the joys of today. “It’s challenging! My 7-year-old is very strong-willed. But when she curls up with me while we read “Fancy Nancy,” I realize that those tough moments will pass,” says Miller. Anticipate the joys to come, too. Susan Mather, a mom to two adults, loves being able to help her grown kids and to rely on them when she needs help. “I am looking forward to becoming a grandma in June and hope to be the primary babysitter for the first year,” she says. “After that, I will probably not be able to keep up!” Heidi Smith Luedtke is a personality psychologist and mom who is constantly amazed at how much she learns from her children. She is the author of “Detachment Parenting: 33 Ways to Keep Your Cool When Kids Melt Down.”

Mom Tools

These resources will nurture your growth as a parent, a partner, and a person. Share other moms’ journeys in “The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Making the Most of Your Life as a Mom” by Ann Pleshette Murphy, former editor-in-chief of Parents magazine.

For smiles and laughs, head to www.jokesaboutmothersday.com and click on Stages of Motherhood and Evolution of Mom.

Soak up the life lessons in “The Gift of Motherhood: 10 Truths for Every Mother” by Cherie Carter-Scott.

April/May 2013

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YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Looking for Safety in All the Wrong Places By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center

Wolsky

We’re all aware of the avalanche of debate that has evolved since the multiple murders in Newtown, which followed the shooting in Aurora, which followed the shooting in Tucson, which followed…

In a typical display of brilliance, Congress used the culmination of these events, and particularly the heinous nature of the Connecticut murders, to call for more gun control. There was some shallow lip service paid to the need to look at our mental health laws, but this evaporated very quickly into a simplistic effort to limit the size of ammunition clips, conduct better background checks, and limit a citizen’s right to procure “assault” rifles (although it’s widely reported that Homeland Security just purchased 7,000 fully automatic assault rifles and matching 30 round clips of ammunition). That debate will go on for a long time to come. The Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is quite unambiguous. The version sent to the states for ratifications says, “A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Seems pretty clear to me. The more complicated issue is about mental health. No one is free to murder people. The one thing the three murderers referenced have in common is that there was a substantial body of concern and evidence expressed by numerous people that these individuals were potentially very dangerous. Yet, we were incapable of protecting people from them. As a society, we simply have to face this. It’s a tough issue and stands precisely on the line between personal liberty and societal safety, but dealing only with the size of gun clips is woefully inadequate. family

In North Dakota, we went through a very difficult transition several decades ago—reflective of the entire country— around the notion of deinstitutionalizing people who had historically been “locked up” as per our 1920s thinking of how to deal with people who had mental health, emotional, or other challenges. I doubt anyone would suggest we go back to those days. We share a common belief that everyone should have the ability to pursue their talents to their full potential. But there seems to be evidence aplenty that the pendulum may have swung too far, if we can’t intervene in situations where experts have deemed people dangerous.

Colorado, Arizona, and other places. We do these individuals and society a disservice by not honestly recognizing this and addressing it in a somber, thoughtful, and straightforward manner. We owe it to them, to society, and particularly, to the 20 precious children who recently paid a terrible price for our neglect. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

This issue was posed in an interesting way recently. “If we had a parent/ grandparent with a diagnosed case of Alzheimer’s disease, would we allow them the same latitude and freedom that the rest of us enjoy, when we know they don’t know where they are, where they’re going, or perhaps, even who they are?” Of course we wouldn’t. And, don’t we have a similar responsibility for people who suffer from severe mental health issues which necessitate our protecting both them and society? Clearly, we’ve come a long way in destigmatizing mental illness over many decades and this is a good and necessary trend. However, there are those who suffer from severe mental illness who would be better served with aroundthe-clock supervision and more intense treatment than outpatient programs can provide. We need to give families and professionals more options to intervene when they suspect someone is a risk to themselves or others. The solution to this lies with our legislature. I encourage North Dakota and Minnesota legislators to study their state’s current commitment laws to determine their adequacy and relevance to today’s realities. By being proactive, perhaps we can avert the trauma that has occurred in Connecticut,

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YOUR FAMILY z m vies

New to

DVD

Theaters

“Epic”

Staff Pick: Kelly

“Dave” (1993)

“Treasure Planet” PG On Netflix Instant Stream The same talented Disney directors who brought us “Aladdin” and “The Little Mermaid” created this spectacular motion picture for young and old alike. “Treasure Planet” is a futuristic spin on Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Treasure Island.” Young Jim Hawkins is the cabin boy on a space galleon populated by a host of unsavory characters. Jim is befriended by the crew’s cook, John Silver, a cyborg who teaches him about friendship and following your dreams. The crew battles a supernova, a black hole, and a ferocious space storm as they pursue the legendary loot of Captain Nathaniel Flint. Characters’ voices provided by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Emma Thompson, Martin Short, and David Hyde Pierce.

PG On DVD Wreck-It Ralph has been the bad guy of his video game for 30 years, demolishing buildings while good guy Fix-It Felix (and his golden hammer) rebuilds all Ralph destroys. He’s tired of being the bad guy. Ralph wants to be adored. He wants to be the hero. He launches a plan to win a medal by sneaking into another game. Unfortunately, Ralph fails in his mission and unleashes a virus that threatens every game in the entire arcade. Will he learn what it means to be a hero? John C. Reilly lends his voice to Wreck-It Ralph, while Jane Lynch, Jack McBrayer, and Sarah Silverman round out the cast.

PG In Theatres May 24 This 3D CG action-adventure-comedy exposes a hidden world— beyond what you see with the naked eye. Mary Katherine (voiced by Amanda Seyfried) finds herself magically transported into this enchanting universe. There she witnesses an ongoing battle in the forest between the forces of good—wanting to keep the natural world alive—and the forces of evil who wish to destroy it. She teams up with a host of entertaining and playful characters to help them rescue their world—and ours. Other voices are contributed by Steven Tyler, Jason Sudeikis, Josh Hutcherson, and Beyoncé Knowles.

“Wreck It Ralph”

April/May 2013

PG-13 Available on DVD Kevin Kline and Sigourney Weaver star in this lighthearted look at American politics. Dave, a temp agency owner—who is the spitting image of the President—is enlisted to take over the position when the real President, Bill Mitchell, falls ill. Dave is told it’s in the interest of national security for him to play the role of Mitchell until the real President recovers from his illness. Mitchell is a corrupt politician and Dave is a caring, concerned citizen. Dave uses the opportunity to change public policy. The First Lady, played by Sigourney Weaver, is estranged from her husband and it takes a while before she realizes Dave is not her husband. By that time, she’s come to admire him and his politics, which gives the story a romantic twist as well. Common Sense Media writes, “It’s uplifting and plays to the fantasy of the everyman and everywoman who thinks they could make a real difference in this country if only they had the chance.”

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YOUR FAMILY z

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

Baby & Preschool “Mama and Baby!” by Kaaren Pixton Indestructibles are books built for the way babies read. Printed on a unique nontoxic, paperlike material that holds up to anything babies can throw at it—gumming, spilling, dragging across the floor—Indestructibles are the little books that could. They’re indestructible! And if they get dirty, just throw them in the washing machine or dishwasher. “Mama and Baby!” features pictures of mama animals and their little babies. Amazing pictures illustrate baby’s first experience identifying animals.

Ages 4 to 8 “The Further Tales of Peter Rabbit” by Emma Thompson In celebration of 110 years of Peter Rabbit, Emma Thompson and illustrator Eleanor Taylor give us a new tale about Peter. Just as in the first story, Peter wriggles under the fence of Mr. McGregor’s garden and into a basket of things that smell good. Soon, he’s off on an adventure all the way to Scotland. This fantastic read-aloud tale is sure to become a favorite for kids and grownups alike.

Teenagers “The Paladin Prophecy: Book 1” by Mark Frost In the vein of “I am Number Four” and “Maze Runner,” this sci-fi thriller will grab you from the first page. When 15-year-old Will West discovers his superhuman abilities, he goes from keeping a low profile in life to becoming the center of a well-plotted adventure. The first in a trilogy, the book will make you anxious for the sequel.

Adults “The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More” by Bruce Feiler This book will give you a fresh perspective on parenting. Bestselling author Bruce Feiler talked to his own idea of “experts.” He tapped business minds, creative minds, and military minds to learn what techniques these professionals use on their own families. The book addresses questions such as: How do we manage the chaos of our lives? How do we teach our kids values? How do we make our family happier? Feiler provides you with strategies to reshape your family in just 20 minutes a week.

Ages 9 to 12 “How to Talk to Moms” by Alec Greven Written by 9-year-old Alec Greven, this charming little book describes the things kids do to make their mothers unhappy and things that moms like, too! The book gives advice such as “Don’t use your shirt as a napkin.” Alec reiterates how smart moms are and how they’ll always love you forever. Every mom and child will enjoy reading through these funny and charming ways to talk to your mom.

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YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

Feeding the Beast By Gwen Rockwood There’s a monster in the house. His name is Gimme—as in “Gimme more.” His attempt to take over the children’s minds is frustrating. Just a few short months after Santa’s generosity, the Gimme Monster still can’t stop clamoring for more. But we understand how this ogre works because the Gimme Monster has been around for centuries. He is, in part, hard-wired into the human brain. It’s natural to reach for more. It’s part of what pushes us to invent, explore, and improve. But that natural urge to have more has a dark side, and the Gimme Monster is the spawn of that dark side. This beast has a permanent hall pass at every school in America. Over ham sandwiches in the cafeteria, kids compare toy acquisitions and discuss who has the latest tech gadgets, the coolest new video games, and who’s allowed to see R-rated movies. Judging by the after-school reports and requests I hear from our three kids, there’s always a new, cool thing to want that somebody else already has. I remember being in grade school and feeling jealous of a tall blonde girl in my class who had the kind of wardrobe that could fill several walk-in closets. Her parents were upper class and the girl’s mother made sure her daughter never wore the same outfit to school more than once. She was a walking tween fashion show, and the rest of us mere mortals could only stand by and watch and wish—for more, more, more. (And then we went home and bugged our mothers to buy us new Jordache jeans because “all the other kids have them.” Sorry about that, Mom.) So a few days ago, after I said “no” once again to a request for a new video game, I explained that even someone as ancient as me understands what it’s like to want more. I wanted more when I was a kid. And I still like and want new things. That part is normal. But I’ve also learned that constantly fixating on things we don’t have can make us (kids and grown-ups, too) nothing short of miserable. It’s like walking around with an internal hole that never fills up. Because the Gimme Monster lives in that hole and he is insatiable. He won’t ever get enough, no matter how often or how much you shove at him. And if you indulge him, he’ll stay around forever—comparing you to the Joneses and pushing you toward that elusive “more” for the rest of your life. My husband and I are trying to walk that fine line between giving our kids the fun things and experiences of childhood without feeding the beast who always craves more—who is never happy with “what is” and can only think about “what’s next.” Sometimes it feels like bouncing between two extremes. On one side, I want to see my kids’ faces light up with the surprise 12

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Illustration by Trygve Olson

and joy of getting something they like. On the other side, I want them to understand that there are millions of kids in the world who can’t even imagine wanting things like computers, headphones, and new apps because they’re busy wishing for food and clean water. I know our kids already have what they need. And I hope we’re teaching them how to work for and wait for things they want. But most of all, I want them to learn how to beat back the Gimme Monster and feel content in what they have—and to know what a blessing it is to simply have enough. Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Send comments to her at rockwoodfiles@cox.net. Archives of The Rockwood Files can be found online at www. nwaMotherlode.com.

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YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

Misconceptions: Theirs, Mine, Yours By Rick Epstein When I was little, I believed that if you peed behind a tree in the park, the squirrels would follow you and pollute YOUR home for revenge. My mom told me that. I also believed there were three sure ways to die. Listed with information sources, they are: touch a light switch with wet hands (my dad), sustain any kind of blow to your temple (other first-graders), or eat an entire tube of toothpaste (Mom again). Everyone grows up with his or her own changing set of misconceptions. Back when I only had two daughters, one 4 years old and the other 9 months old, I made a list of theirs. The 4-year-old believed: • That the healing rays of the television set will cure most illnesses. • That there really are 12 days of Christmas, and although we celebrate only one, families with jollier parents observe all of them. • That if you put a broken rubber band under your pillow, the Rubber Band Fairy will give you a nickel for it. (My wife’s contribution to the world of the supernatural.) • That the whole business of time and clocks is a lot of mumbo jumbo that grownups invoke whenever they want to make a child go to bed or get dressed and they don’t have a real reason. The 9-month-old couldn’t talk, so I was guessing on some of these. She seemed to believe: • That anything you can’t put in your mouth cannot be fully experienced or enjoyed. • That mother’s milk and baby food must be supplemented by foraging on the floor. These foodstuffs range in palatability from dust bunnies on the low end to crumbs of Play-doh, a special delicacy. (She can be under unblinking surveillance on a freshly scrubbed floor, and suddenly she’s working her mouth like she’s about to lean out the window of a pickup truck and let fly. A probing adult finger will find anything from a short crayon to a piece of tree bark.) • That standing up in her high chair aids her digestion. • That to get full nutritional value from baby food, it must be smeared directly onto the skin. (The pleasing cosmetic effect is a bonus.) • That any attempt to wipe her mouth or nose is an insult and must not be tolerated. • That toilet training is necessary only for people who plan to go into certain high-profile lines of work, such as retail sales or public relations. New parents have misconceptions, too. Here are a few of mine that have been set straight during 23 years of parenthood: • That boys and girls are born the same, and it’s their upbringing that makes them different. Sorry, but no matter what color you dress them in, by fifth grade most boys have graduated from toy trucks to video games, while most girls have moved from baby dolls to social voodoo (as victim or priestess). family

Illustration by Trygve Olson

• That a father can effectively pass along all the progress he’s made since his own wasted youth, so his child can start there and improve upon it. If that were true, the human race could have been perfected in just a couple of generations. But maturity is nontransferable. Every child pretty much starts from scratch, and Dad’s good advice and example are like an instruction manual that only gets opened after the possibilities of instinct and intuition have been exhausted. • That my kids ought to turn out like me. Why should they? I mean, hasn’t that experiment already been tried? • That if you raise three children the same way, they’ll turn out the same. But it’s more like: You follow a recipe expecting to get three apple pies, and one turns out to be an apple pie, another is a pumpkin pie, and another doesn’t even seem to be a pie at all. There’s a lot more, but I don’t want to spoil any of the surprises that lie ahead of you. And you wouldn’t believe me anyway. My job is just to expose you to a few ideas. Now it’s up to your kids to continue your education. Rick Epstein can be reached at rickepstein@yahoo.com.

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A Family Blessing By Marty Tollefson I came home the other day and found red crayon on the walls, blue-colored stains on the carpet, dried milk in the two car seats, and multi-colored fish crackers scattered around the house. I could either shake my head in frustration, or count this mess among the many blessings of God. My wife and I have two little girls: Hannah, who is three years old, and Sarah who is a year and a half. Together, they challenge, push limits, explore, scatter toys, and offer smiles that turn my world upside-down. Wherever they go, they leave fingerprints as if to announce, â&#x20AC;&#x153;I was here.â&#x20AC;? We are blessed!

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It’s easy to count our blessings when things are going well. Yet ironically, we experience many blessings even when our lives are hard, chaotic, and messy. We are jarred into a new reality when challenge, adversity, and struggle come our way. It is through these times that we are reminded of the beauty of life, the joy, the wonder, and how we sometimes take things for granted. Poet Mary Oliver encourages us to be attentive— to uncover the ordinary, hidden things in life like a blessing. She writes, “I don’t want you just to sit down at the table. I don’t want you just to eat, and be content. I want you to walk out into the fields where the water is shining, and the rice has risen. I want you to stand there, far from the white tablecloth; I want you to fill your hands with the mud, like a blessing.” Oliver invites us to grab our daily life like a blessing! Throughout the Bible, we learn about the blessings of God. A strong thread throughout is that we are invited not only to count our blessings, but to be a blessing. For example, Jesus invites us to be a blessing when he says, “Now you are the salt of the earth, you are the light of the world (Matthew 5).” We are invited, with our words and actions, to bring a distinctive flavor into the life of others. We are invited, with our words and actions, to cast light upon those darkened corners of life. What you say matters. What you do matters. When we bless or withhold a blessing, it has an effect on people’s lives. You might think to yourself, “Who me? I am not sure how to do that!” To be sure, a blessing might be hard to describe, define, or even explain, but we know it when we see, hear, and experience it. Remember the importance of having your parents’ blessing? It was their words, demeanor, smile, or their hands upon your shoulders that conveyed that you “were on the right track” and how they were alongside in a supportive role. A parents’ blessing is a powerful thing in the lives of their children. When we bless others it improves the quality of the air that we breathe. It assures us that we are not alone. It reminds us that we are fortunate despite evidence to the contrary. So, I encourage you to take up this business of blessing. If you don’t think you can bless others, please reconsider, because the world needs you. Your family needs you.

Your son is struggling in school—drape your hands across his shoulders and say these words, “I am proud of you. I am here for you. I love you.” Your daughter is discovering the hard realities of adolescence. Wrap your arms around her and let these gentle words fall upon her, “I know, I know.” The family gathers to eat at the dinner table or you all open your fast-food containers as you rush off to the next family event. Wherever the gathering, pause and say “thank you” as you are reminded of the many gifts of life. Your son or daughter is heading off to college. They are headed off to explore a whole new world. You are excited for them. Pray them into vitality and hope they will return soon—with their loads of laundry. A friend of mine was struggling with cancer a few years ago. Each morning, he got up early to watch the sunrise—just because he could! Each day we are surrounded with the blessings of God. Each day we might imagine that God leaves a trail, concrete evidence, and fingerprints behind as if to say, “I was here.” The opportunities to bless and be blessed are embedded in our daily life. When I came home to red crayon on the walls, blue-colored stains on the carpet, dried milk in the two car seats, and multi-colored fish crackers scattered throughout the house, it was if my children were announcing, “I was here.” I got down on my hands and knees and picked up those fish crackers, one by one, like a blessing. Who would have thought that spilled milk and a trail of fish crackers could become a holy exercise reminding me of the blessings of God? A family blessing! Today, I invite you to make a pile of all the ways you are blessed. Don’t stop until your pile has reached the heavens. Consider adding to the piles of those around you when you are done piling. Jesus is absolutely right, when we recognize that our life is a blessing, it will naturally lead us into a spirit of “joy and gladness.” You have been blessed to be a blessing!

A parents’ blessing is a powerful thing in the lives of their children.

family

Marty Tollefson is the Pastor of Discipleship at First Lutheran Church.

“In Touch” is brought to you by First Lutheran Church, Downtown Fargo.

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April/May 2013

YOUR FAMILY z consumer

Growing Up Online:

Don’t Make Snap Judgments about Snapchat By Carolyn Jabs

y now, most parents have heard of Snapchat, the phenomenally popular new messaging app that allows users to annotate and send photos and very short videos to their friends. Unlike other messages, Snapchats are supposed to disappear in 10 seconds. Kids who are tired of having their lives searched and analyzed on Facebook love that spontaneity. As one college blogger put it, Snapchat is fun “without the terrifying permanence of the rest of our technology.” In one way, this is good news for parents who have been trying to convince kids to be discreet about what they post on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites. Most

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young people are keenly aware that Facebook can be reviewed by everyone from romantic partners to college admissions officers, employers, and even law enforcement. Timeline made it even more obvious that Facebook is a biographical record, and many people, including teens, started using it for what Jenna Wortham of the New York Times calls “success theater,” a cautious, curated version of their lives. As everyone knows, real life is messier than that, especially in adolescence. Snapchat is appealing in part because it allows kids to share their ever-changing moods without having to worry that a fleeting moment will be held against them. Of course, any alert parent can see where this is going. 1) Part of

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If you didn’t make rules when you gave your child a cell phone, now is a good time to be very clear about acceptable and unacceptable use. what prompts all those moods is the awakening of sexual feelings. 2) You can never assume anything digital is truly gone. Most of the five million messages being sent everyday on Snapchat are not sexual. Instead, they are quirky, momentary impressions of things the sender finds goofy, funny, or touching. Sharing these tidbits with friends does deepen relationships. The youthful founders of Snapchat seem wise beyond their years when they write, “There is value in the ephemeral. Great conversations are magical— because they are shared, enjoyed, but not saved.” The same thing could be said about romance and even sex. And that’s why Snapchat creates concerns for adults who can easily imagine impulsive teens using the service to send provocative or even obscene pictures of themselves. This is where parents need to take a deep breath. Despite media attention to the subject, sexting is not rampant among teenagers. The most authoritative research study from the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire found that, among children 10 to 17, only one percent had shared explicit images of themselves or others and only seven percent had received such an image. Some people worry that Snapchat will make such behavior more tempting because it promises to erase all evidence. Although parents may long to shove this genie back into its bottle, that’s not possible. Facebook has already introduced its own selfdestruct program called Poke, and there are other imitators in the works. A better strategy is to help children think through the rewards and risks of Snapchat and its competitors. Here are some suggestions. Ask. Don’t assume your child is using Snapchat to send or receive provocative pictures. Download the program so you understand how it works. Then, ask your child about his family

or her experiences. Are the kids at school using the app? What kind of photos does your child like to send? What kind of images has he or she received? Is the self-destruct feature exciting or annoying? Encourage. There are many creative and constructive ways to use Snapchat. In fact, the vision described on the Snapchat website is actually quite wholesome: “We believe in sharing authentic moments with friends. It’s not all about fancy vacations, sushi dinners, or beautiful sunsets. Sometimes it’s an inside joke, a silly face, or greetings from a pet fish—sharing those moments should be fun. Communication is more entertaining when it’s with the people who know us best. And we know that no one is better at making us laugh than our friends.” This could be a prompt for dinner table conversation or a quote that hangs on the refrigerator. Inform. Be sure your child understands that anything digital can be replicated. Although Snapchat reduces the likelihood that a photo will be distributed without permission, it doesn’t eliminate it completely. The recipient of a message can always grab the screen shot. Yes, the sender will be notified if this happens but, if the image is compromising, the damage will be done. Recipients can also use another camera to surreptitiously capture a titillating image. The bottom line is that sending another person a photo of private parts is ALWAYS ill-advised. There simply is no such thing as “safe sext.” Enforce. If you didn’t make rules when you gave your child a cell phone, now is a good time to be very clear about acceptable and unacceptable use. A sample contract is available at http://tinyurl.com/2au7l22. Modify it as needed to reflect your family’s values and your child’s level of maturity. These conversations will go better if parents tune into the underlying appeal of Snapchat. Today’s kids intuitively understand that every photo doesn’t need to be saved. Every whim doesn’t villagefamilymag.org

need to be scrutinized. Every thought doesn’t deserve a permanent record. At the same time, as every happily married couple knows, sharing these transitory moments really can strengthen a relationship. As is so often the case, parents can provide the information and structure that will allow children to harness the potential of Snapchat without stumbling into its pitfalls. Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for 10 years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www.growingup-online.com to read other columns. © Copyright, 2013, Carolyn Jabs. All rights reserved.

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April/May 2013

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YOUR FAMILY z feature

By Patricia Carlson

recently found out the active little bundle I’ve been carrying in my womb for nearly six months is a boy. And he appears healthy. He has two legs and two arms. All his organs are developing well and his spine looks fantastic. Most people would be elated by this news. However, because of the number of experts I’ve interviewed through the years as a writer, and the amount of research I put into my articles, I have more than my share of worries about bringing this boy into the world. Expectant parents have all sorts of concerns for their unborn children. One of mine is that my little boy will be autistic. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that one in 88 American children have autism. It affects one in 252 girls and one in 54 boys. You read that right—one in 54 boys. That means autism is four to five times more likely to appear in a boy than a girl. It’s an alarming statistic. When your son—or daughter—is diagnosed with autism, it’s a blow to the dreams and expectations you have as a parent for family

the life your child will have, says Rachel Stotts, a Fargo mom of four, including an 18-year-old son with autism. “It’s a hard job. Just by having a child with special needs everything else becomes harder. The challenges multiply.” Organizations, research scientists, and therapists have made incredible progress in the past couple of decades understanding what autism is, how and why it occurs, and what the best course of action is for people who are diagnosed with it. But there are an equal number of myths and misunderstandings about this complex disorder. We reached out to local parents of autistic children and some of the region’s top therapy agencies and advocacy groups to ask them what you should know about autism. Here is their list in no particular order.

Autism is a Spectrum

Autism Speaks, which bills itself as the world’s leading autism science and advocacy organization, describes autism as a complex brain development disorder. But Autism Speaks,

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Early intensive behavioral intervention can help young children with their communication skills, learning skills, and social skills.

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April/May 2013

and anyone familiar with autism, will also tell you that it appears in a broad variety of ways. That’s why you may have heard the term Autism Spectrum Disorder, or ASD. Autism Spectrum Disorder is “characterized by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, and repetitive behaviors,” states Autism Speaks. They include autistic disorder, but also other subtypes like Asperger’s Syndrome and childhood disintegrative disorder. Previously, clinicians would diagnose each disorder on its own, and those diagnoses could vary depending on how the checklist of symptoms was used. This caused inconsistencies in ASD diagnoses for years. Therefore, in an unprecedented move set to take effect this spring, the American Psychiatric Association is recommending that all autism subtypes be collapsed into one unifying diagnosis of ASD. The National Institutes of Mental Health state these as possible indicators of autism: • No babbling, pointing, or meaningful gestures by 1 year of age; • No one-word communications by 16 months; • No two-word phrases by 2 years; • Loss of language or social skills; • Poor eye contact; • Inability to play appropriately with toys; • Unusual attachment to one particular toy or object; • No smiling; • Apparent lack of response to sounds or voices and name being called. Normal social interactions between people may be difficult for people with ASD. Things like body language, tone of voice, gestures, and facial expressions may be hard for them to read or to demonstrate on their own. More extreme cases of ASD may include repetitive behaviors, sensory problems, and seizures.

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Darcy Kasprowicz, Operations Manager of the Fargo-based North Dakota Autism Center, says experts “have not determined a cause of ASD,” but researchers have identified some gene mutations associated with autism. Symptoms of ASD can appear as early as 12 months, but most doctors determine a diagnosis around 2 years of age.

You Can’t Outgrow Autism

Stotts’ son, Reese, has severe autistic impairments. And like every person with autism, he will never grow out of them. It’s a lifelong disability. “You can learn compensatory skills and self-management techniques but the neurological basis for autism will always be there,” says Stotts, who is also a pediatric speech language pathologist with Pediatric Therapy Partners in Fargo. “If you run across a child who has been ‘cured,’ he or she probably didn’t have autism in the first place.” However, an ASD diagnosis is not a death sentence. Autism isn’t terminal. In fact, Autism Speaks says many people on the spectrum “have exceptional abilities in visual skills, music, and academic skills. About 40 percent have

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average to above-average intellectual abilities. Others with autism have significant disability and are unable to live independently. About 25 percent of individuals with ASD are nonverbal, but can learn to communicate using other means.”

Early Intervention is Crucial

The sooner a child on the spectrum begins intensive therapy treatments, the better. A report published this fall in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry shows that intervention starting as early as 12 months can improve social skills and the brain’s responses to social cues. “Early intensive behavioral intervention can help young children with their communication skills, learning skills, and social skills,” explains Kasprowicz. “The way I like to look at it is help the child now to help them have a better life and minimize the need for help in the future. If we do not help them in the early years, then they will need more assistance as an adult.” Early intervention during pregnancy— specifically, taking folic acid supplements before and during pregnancy—may also

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lower a child’s risk of being diagnosed with ASD. A new study published in February in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that women who took the supplement four weeks before pregnancy, and through the eighth week of pregnancy, were 39% less likely to have children with autism.

Services Vary State by State As any family of an autistic child will tell you, the diagnosis is just the beginning of a long-traveled road of finding the right resources to ensure your child has the best start on a functional life. Parents usually get a diagnosis from their child’s pediatrician. After that, it’s referral after referral for different therapies like speech, occupational, and physical. Locally, there are a number of these agencies like Beyond Boundaries and Pediatric Therapy Partners. However, Kasprowicz says North Dakota, as a whole, is sorely lacking in resources for children with ASD. In particular, Kasprowicz believes most children with ASD need resources such as behavior therapy, in addition to traditional therapies. “Children that

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1 in 54

boys are affected by autism.

are diagnosed with ASD need one-to-one behavioral therapy. Insurance companies do not pay for these services in North Dakota. It is very difficult for parents to find help for their children. Most families have to make sacrifices, such as one parent has to quit their job. There are more services available in Minnesota than there are in North Dakota.” One of the leading autism research and ASD services institutes in Minnesota is the University of Minnesota Amplatz Children’s Hospital. It offers a full range of services for infants, kids, and teens through age 18. The Minnesota Department of Human Services doesn’t provide a program solely for people dealing with ASD, but you can access a tremendous variety of programs it does have through county, tribal, or state offices that serve people with disabilities.

Parents Need Emotional Support

Support can mean many different things to parents of autistic children. Emotional, financial, therapeutic, religious, educational, legal—many of these things will come into play during the course of learning about, and coping with, your child’s autism. But support is not one size fits all, so the best way to find out how to help a friend or relative who is navigating the ASD world is to ask. Local support groups are aplenty. Most therapy agencies like 22

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Beyond Boundaries, Fargo, host at least one meeting a month. Other groups, especially those designed for families of kids with Asperger’s Syndrome, meet at churches in both Fargo and Moorhead. The Autism Society of North Dakota has a great resource list for meetings statewide (www.autismnd.org/ Meetings.htm). Another option for families who need help is to reach out to an educational and informational hub like Family Voices of North Dakota (FVND) based in Edgeley, North Dakota. FVND partners with professionals to help parents find what they need in any region of the state. They can help locate support groups,

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therapy agencies, educational resources, legal supports, and more. They also provide training, often free of charge, for families to learn how to advocate for their child. “We believe family supports are vital to quality of life for children and families dealing with autism,” says Nicole Haisley, a Family Autism Consultant with FVND. Haisley says families with autistic children should try a support group at least once, but shouldn’t become discouraged if they don’t find the right fit. Instead, Haisley recommends they try FVND’s Parent to Parent match program. “We have a database that allows us to connect parents to another experienced parent that has a child with a similar diagnosis and/ or age that can be there to answer questions, offer emotional support, or just to listen.”

Vaccines Court Controversy

Although there is widespread controversy about a possible connection between vaccines and autism, there is no scientific link proving it. A 1998 British study that claimed there was a link was later widely discredited, and its lead researcher was deemed “fraudulent” by the publishing journal. Nonetheless, over a decade later, more than 26 percent of people in a 2011 Truven Health Analytics-NPR Health Poll say they think vaccines cause autism. The main reason for this is that some parents noticed changes in their child after receiving a vaccine. The most notable vaccine parents point to is the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine because it’s given at 12 to 15 months—the age when the first symptoms of ASD often appear. Thimerosal, a preservative that contains trace amounts of mercury and was used in routine childhood vaccines prior to 2001, was also thought to cause autism although no proof was ever determined. Thimerosal can now only be found in flu shots and some vaccines given to adults and teens. North Dakota parents appear more cautious in their willingness to jump on the vaccine-autism bandwagon though, says LaDonna Bannach, the CEO and President of Beyond Boundaries. “Even in the last two years, we have not been asked that question specifically. From what I’ve seen, the controversy has settled down a little bit.”

developmental and social skills. The whole day is built around his needs. After he turns 21, where will he go? Where will he get that? How will this new set of needs change our family dynamic?” It should resonate that these questions are not coming from a parent fresh off a new diagnosis for her child, but from a parent who is also a professional therapist with a profound knowledge of the challenges of ASD and available resources. Stotts is already planning for Reese’s future and trying to make sure his expenses will be paid, therapies will be received, and living quarters situated long into the future.

The Child is Not Defined by the Disorder

Once your child has been diagnosed with ASD, it may be hard to see the cute, little cherub you cuddled for months. He may be replaced by a boy who doesn’t talk or smile. Or by a girl who has lost her ability to socially interact with other kids. Try not to let your child’s disorder define him. “The number one thing I think people should know about autism is that these children are children first, with personalities, talents, likes, and dislikes,” says Haisley. “There are a lot of myths out there about autism, and when you get to know the child, you will see the person, not the diagnosis.” Do you have advice for parents of a child with ASD? We’d love to hear from you. Visit our website http:// villagefamilymag.org/ and post a comment under this article. Patricia Carlson is a full-time freelance writer, editor, and media coach who divides her time between Minnesota and Florida. See more of her work at www.patriciacarlsonfreelance. com.

Parenting Gets Harder After 18

While most parents are preparing to send their teens off to college at this age, Stotts and other moms and dads of severely autistic kids are facing a whole new set of challenges. “Our reality is so far from that. Our insurance is saying he doesn’t need therapy anymore at this age. Our pediatrician is saying he’s an adult now and we may have to change doctors,” explains Stotts. “Then there are the lawyers and courts and guardianship papers.” And while Stotts can take comfort in knowing Reese will legally be able to remain in public school for another three years, what comes after is scary. That’s because people with autism function best with structured routines. For example, Reese knows his instructors and caregivers at school. He knows his bus drivers. He knows that lunch comes at the same time every day. And he knows that after school he goes to therapy. It’s a solid 10 hours of structure that he counts on for stability and functionality. “My son has been in a self-contained education system since he was little,” says Stotts. “That offers him total security and peace of mind and allows him to concentrate on learning his family

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April/May 2013

Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for June/July is May 1, 2013. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

APRIL 2013 EVENTS 4.1 Monday • YMCA Summer Day Camp Registration Opens. Visit www. ymcacassclay.org/camp • FM RedHawks Tickets on Sale. Fans can start purchasing single game tickets for the 2013 season. 10 a.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 4.2 Tuesday • World Autism Awareness Day. Show your support and raise autism awareness by wearing blue today. www.autismspeaks.org 4.3 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 4.4 Thursday • Steve Bell Concert. Tickets at 800-854-3499, www.stevebell.com, Valley Christian Church, and Melberg Christian Book & Gift. 7 p.m., Valley Christian Church, 611 37th Ave. S., Moorhead 4.5 Friday • PRCA Rodeo. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. Kids Rule Night! Visit any A traveling exhibit from the Minnesota History Center andThe Bakken Museum.

IMAGINE LIGHTING YOUR HOME at a flick of a switch - for the first time! Through film, photography and interactives, this exhibit illuminates the amazing ways electricity has shaped life in Minnesota. Don’t miss it —

March 13 - May 27 Historical and Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center 202 1st Avenue N Moorhead, MN www.hcscconline.org

April/May 2013

Stop-N-Go location for a free kids ticket voucher. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 4.6 Saturday •D ay of Percussion. All day, Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 •C hildren’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • The Arc Attic Treasures NEXT Top Model Fashion Show. Proceeds go to programs for people with developmental disabilities. Tickets at The Arc Attic Treasures stores or The Arc of Cass County office. 1 p.m., Cheney Middle School, 825 17th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-293-8191 or www.arccassnd.com •S oroptimists International of Moorhead Springtime Styles. Style show and silent auction. Proceeds benefit the lives of women and girls in our community. Tickets available from Dorothy Agather at Bell State Bank & Trust, Moorhead. 1 p.m., Dilworth Lutheran Church, 406 N.E. 3rd St., Dilworth, 701-361-0974 or monica. douglas@lssmn.org •A dopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 or www. adoptapetfm.org •P ercussion Ensemble Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 •S aturday Fun Night. Grades K-6. Registration required. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights •F M Derby Girls Bout. 7 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, www.fmderbygirls.com •P RCA Rodeo. 7:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 4.7 Sunday •H igh School Honor Band Concert. 1 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 •E cho Band Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall, Hvidsten Hall of Music, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 4.10 Wednesday •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 4.11 Thursday • “Vinegar Tom.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.12 Friday •E l Zagal Shrine Circus. 7 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com •O pen Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • “The Marriage of Figaro.” Presented by FM Opera. 7:30 p.m., Reineke Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www. fmopera.org (See ad pg. 27) •F argo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com • “Vinegar Tom.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314

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4.13 Saturday • March of Dimes March for Babies. Registration at 9 a.m., walk starts at 10 a.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, www. marchforbabies.org • El Zagal Shrine Circus. 10 a.m., 2 p.m. & 6 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. Live jersey auction following the game. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com • MSUM Percussion Ensemble. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2102 • “Vinegar Tom.” 8 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 4.14 Sunday • El Zagal Shrine Circus. Noon & 4 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • “The Marriage of Figaro.” Presented by FM Opera. 2 p.m., Reineke Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org (See ad pg. 27) • “Vinegar Tom.” 2 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Main Stage, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 • Kids’ Club Party. Games, prizes, and crafts for kids ages 4-12. 3-4 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-2811002 or www.bn.com 4.16 Tuesday • Chris Tomlin Concert. 7 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com

Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-4335360 or www.wfparks.org • American Heart Association Red River Valley Heart Walk. Register online at www.RedRiverValleyHeartWalk.org. Gates open at 9 a.m., walk at 10 a.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo • Crying Hills Antique Show. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2200 • Let’s Go Fly a Kite! 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www. childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Party for the Planet. Conservation activities and tree-planting ceremony. 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org (See ad pg. 29) • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 or www.adoptapetfm.org • All American Girl Tea Party. Food, raffle, and activities for all ages. Proceeds benefit the Altrusa International of Fargo Club. Tickets at www.altrusafargo.com. 2-4 p.m., Wanzek Center for Scouting, 4200 19th Ave. S., Fargo, altrusafargo@hotmail.com • FM Derby Girls Bout. 7 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, www.fmderbygirls.com • Masterworks Concert. 8 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org 4.21 Sunday • Crying Hills Antique Show. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Hartl Ag Building, RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2200

4.17 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Gooseberry Park Players Information Session. Information and audition sign-up for July 2013 production of “Oklahoma!” Open to students ages 11-18. 6 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org • Chamber Concert: Beethoven & Black Angels. 8 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www. fmsymphony.org 4.18 Thursday • Gooseberry Park Players Information Session. Information and audition sign-up for the July 2013 production of “Oklahoma!” Open to students ages 11-18. 6 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, www.gooseberryparkplayers.org • One Act Play Festival. 7 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Lab Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 • Handbell Choir Concert. 7 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall, Hvidsten Hall of Music, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • University Orchestra Concert. Features student musicians from MSUM and NDSU. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate. edu/theatre 4.19 Friday • One Act Play Festival. 7 p.m., Frances Frazier Comstock Theatre Lab Theatre, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-3314 • Performing Arts Series: Great Northern Union Chorus. Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4366 4.20 Saturday • Gigantic Rummage Sale. Over 150 vendor booths with garage sale items, crafts, antiques, collectibles, etc. 7 a.m.-2 p.m.,

family

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April/May 2013

4.23 Tuesday • World Book Night. Celebrate the love of reading with activities and a program. 7 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Symphonia Concert. 7:30 p.m., Centrum, Knutson Campus Center, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515

Steve Bell Concert - 4.4

4.24 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • “Mother Courage & Her Children.” 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/theatre

4.21 Sunday (cont.) • Masterworks Concert. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org • Oratorio Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 4.22 Monday • Vocal Jazz/Jazz Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515

Because All Great Spuds Start Somewhere Call or go online for a list of classes. 218-284-3400 https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us A Community Education Program of the Moorhead Area Public Schools

April/May 2013

4.25 Thursday • Hands-on Learning with LeapFrog! Learn about dinosaurs and the human body at this interactive, educational event. 5 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • New Life Center Prayer Breakfast & Evening Dessert. Speaker Rhea Briscoe. For tickets, visit www.fargonlc.org or call 701-2817027 (breakfast) or 218-233-6497 (dessert). Breakfast at 9:30 a.m., dessert at 7:30 p.m., Hilton Garden Inn, 4351 17th Ave. S., Fargo • “The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2345 4.26 Friday • An Ausome Evening. Fundraising event for the North Dakota Autism Center. 5:30 p.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-277-8844 or jamie@ndautismcenter.org • “The Magic Flute.” Presented by NDSU Opera. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7932 or www.ndsu/edu. finearts • “Mother Courage & Her Children.” 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/theatre • “The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2345 • Chicago Concert. 8 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 4.27 Saturday • MSUM Dragon Fire Walk for Athletics. 5K Run/Walk, Youth Fun Run, alumni games, and more. Proceeds benefit Dragon Athletic scholarships. Visit www.dragonwalk.com or call 218-477-5824 for more information • Walk MS. Check-in at 8:30 a.m., walk begins at 10 a.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 800-582-5296 or www. myMSwalk.org • Crazy Hair Day. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www. childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Valley Vintage Car Show. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1480 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • YMCA Healthy Kids Day. Activities, crafts, booths, fingerprinting, and more. Open to the community. 1-4 p.m., Island Park & Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 or www. ymcacassclay.org/HKD

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family

• Garden Party. 1:30-4:30 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Red River Dance Spring Recital. 4 p.m. & 6:30 p.m., with debut performance by ReThink Dance Company at 8 p.m., Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-280-0004 or www. redriverdance.com • “Mother Courage & Her Children.” 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/theatre • “The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2345 4.28 Sunday • Temple Beth El Gourmet Brunch. Enjoy a buffet of the finest in Jewish cuisine. Call 701-232-0441 for tickets. 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Temple Beth El, 809 11th Ave. S., Fargo • Valley Vintage Car Show. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1480 • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • “The Magic Flute.” Presented by NDSU Opera. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-231-7932 or www.ndsu/edu. finearts • Symphonic Band Concert. 4 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • MSUM Choir Concert. 7:30 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 2900 S. 5th St., Moorhead, 218-477-2102 • “The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940.” Presented by Moorhead High School Theater. 7:30 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-284-2345 4.29 Monday • YWCA’s 40th Annual Women of the Year. Tickets available by calling 701-232-2547. Social at 5:30 p.m., dinner and program at 6:30 p.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo, www. ywcacassclay.org 4.30 Tuesday • Rape & Abuse Crisis Center’s Kids Are Our Business Breakfast. Call 701-293-7273 for ticket information. 7:30 a.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo

• Kite Day. 12:30-3 p.m., Ed Clapp Park, 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Commencement Concert. 3 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Spring Gala: 15 Minutes of Fame. Music, food, dancing, and silent auction of art. 7 p.m.-midnight, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org (See ad pg. 30) • The American Spiritual Ensemble. Presented by NDSU School of Music. 7:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-2317932 or www.ndsu/edu.finearts 5.5 Sunday • MSUM Wind Ensemble Concert. 3 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2102 5.7 Tuesday • Community Block Party. 5:30-8 p.m., Courts Plus Fitness Center, 3491 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 or www.adoptapetfm.org 5.8 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 5.9 Thursday • “Carol Burnett Skits & Songs.” Presented by FMCT’s Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.10 Friday • Trampled by Turtles Concert. Tickets at www.JadePresents. com, Tickets300 box office, or 866-300-8300. 7 p.m., Bluestem Amphitheater, 801 50th Ave. S., Moorhead

art’s z o M

MAY 2013 EVENTS 5.1 Wednesday • Season Opening of the Pioneer Village and Arthur Town Hall Dedication. Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com • FirstLink’s Annual Breakfast. This year’s focus is on FirstLink’s Giving Tree of Hope, which provides holiday gifts to disadvantaged children and special needs adults. RSVP required by Apr. 22nd; contact Angie at 701-293-6462 or angiew@myfirstlink.org. 7:308:30 a.m., Holiday Inn, 3803 13th Ave. S., Fargo • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

Reineke Festival Concert Hall, NDSU

5.2 Thursday • MSUM Jazz Ensemble. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2102 5.3 Friday • Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com 5.4 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

family

April 12 and 14

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FARGO-MOORHEAD

701.239.4558 fmopera.org

April/May 2013

5.10 Friday (cont.) • “Carol Burnett Skits & Songs.” Presented by FMCT’s Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • FM RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. Exhibition game. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2356161 or www.fmredhawks.com 5.11 Saturday • Pepsi Outdoor Archery Challenge. 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Forest River Rd., 76th Ave. S. & Red River, Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www. fargoparks.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • FM RedHawks vs. Winnipeg Goldeyes. Exhibition game. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2356161 or www.fmredhawks.com • FM Chamber Chorale Spring Concert. 7:30 p.m., Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd, 4000 28th St. S., Moorhead, 701-491-2910 or www.fmchamberchorale. org

• “Carol Burnett Skits & Songs.” Presented by FMCT’s Silver Follies. 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.12 Sunday • Pepsi Outdoor Archery Challenge. 8 a.m.-2 p.m., Forest River Rd., 76th Ave. S. & Red River, Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Mother’s Day at the Zoo. Moms receive free admission when accompanied by their child. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www. redriverzoo.org • FM RedHawks vs. Winnipeg Goldeyes. Exhibition game. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2356161 or www.fmredhawks.com • Marvelous Mother’s Day. Free admission for moms. 1-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www. childrensmuseum-yunker.org • “Carol Burnett Skits & Songs.” Presented by FMCT’s Silver Follies. 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 5.14 Tuesday • Community Block Party. 5:30-8 p.m., Madison Park, 3010 11th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.15 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com

Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch

We help at-risk children and their families succeed in education in life in the name of Christ! www.dakotaranch.org info@dakotaranch.org 1.800.344.0957

April/May 2013

5.16 Thursday • Fargo Marathon Events. Swanson Health & Fitness Expo and marathon packet pickup from noon-9 p.m., Youth Run starts at 6:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, www.fargomarathon.com (See ad pg. 25) • Nature Adventure. 6-8 p.m., Lindenwood Rotary Shelter, 1701 5th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.17 Friday • Fargo Marathon Events. Swanson Health & Fitness Expo and marathon packet pickup from 10 a.m.-9 p.m., pasta and lefse feed at 4-8 p.m., 5K Run/Walk at 6:30 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, www.fargomarathon.com (See ad pg. 25) • Syettende Mai Pølsefest. Hot dogs in lefse sale. Proceeds benefit the Historical and Cultural Society of Clay County. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. or while supplies last, Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 • Bonnie Haney “Gotta Dance” Recital. 7 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, 218-236-9900, 701-232-9900 or www. bonniehaneydance.com

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5.18 Saturday •F argo Marathon Events. 10K Run/Walk starts at 7 a.m., Half Marathon at 7:30 a.m., Marathon at 8:15 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, www. fargomarathon.com (See ad pg. 25) •B irding Festival. 7 a.m.-noon, Forest River Rd., 76th Ave. S. & Red River, Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com •C hildren’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com •B onnie Haney “Gotta Dance” Recital. 12:30 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, 218-236-9900, 701-232-9900 or www. bonniehaneydance.com 5.19 Sunday •B ike & Kite Day. Bring your bike and a kite to fly. 2-4 p.m., Rendezvous Park, 1055 32nd Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org •S ummer Grind. Registration at 4:30 p.m., event starts at 5 p.m., Dike West, 310 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com 5.20 Monday •S wing into Summer Safety. Visit www. scheelsarena.com for event details. Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-356-7656 •K 9 Carnival. 5-7 p.m., Yunker Farm Dog Park, 1257 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-4996060 or www.fargoparks.com • “The Addams Family.” 7:30 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 5.21 Tuesday •C ommunity Block Party. 5:30-8 p.m., Centennial Park, 4101 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com •A dopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Meet animals available for adoption. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701232-5856 or www.adoptapetfm.org 5.22 Wednesday •S enior Health-ways Conference. Join local healthcare professionals for a health fair and educational session on arthritis. 8 a.m.-noon, Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 800-333-1380 to register •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701281-1002 or www.bn.com 5.23 Thursday • Veterans Memorial Celebration. A free meal, village tours, entertainment, and program for the region’s veterans, military, and their families. 3-7 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-2822822 or www.bonanzaville.com

family

5.24 Friday • Open Gym. Ages 5-14. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 or www.tntkidsfitness.com • FM RedHawks vs. Laredo Lemurs. Home opener with postgame fireworks. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www.fmredhawks.com 5.25 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. Special guest Cat in the Hat. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM RedHawks vs. Laredo Lemurs. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com 5.26 Sunday • FM RedHawks vs. Laredo Lemurs. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com 5.27 Monday • FM RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 5 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com 5.28 Tuesday • FM RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 11 a.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com • Community Block Party. 5:30-8 p.m., Jefferson School Park, 1622 3rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com 5.29 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

• FM RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com 5.30 Thursday • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 6-8 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • FM RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or www. fmredhawks.com

PUBLIC LIBRARIES

Call or visit the library for more information. Pre-registration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org • Fargo Force Visits the Library. Hear stories and meet Fargo Force players. Apr. 2, 6:30 p.m. • Muslim Journeys – A World Café. Dr. Kevin Brooks facilitates a discussion to share stories of Muslims from our area. Apr. 2, 7 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Apr. 4 & 18, May 2 & 16, 6:30 p.m. • Blue Plate Special: Storytime for Adults. Bring a bag lunch, sit back, and relax. Apr. 10 & May 8, 12:15-12:45 p.m. • Cut Paper Workshop with Children’s Author Debra Frasier. Apr. 10, 6:30 p.m. • Teen Crafts. Pre-registration required. Apr. 11 & 25, 4:30 p.m. • Lemony Snicket Book Club. Grades 3-6. Pre-registration required. Apr. 16 & May 21, 6:30 p.m.

Join Us For Zooventure: For the Birds! Sat, April 13th 1:00 pm Pint-Sized: Hurray for Hoovestock! Wed, April 17th 3:15 pm Please register in advance, space is limited!

This show features the animals from the Zoo and is held at the MSUM Planetarium! Saturdays at 11:00 am, running until May 18th • April 20th • Pick up a FREE Child’s Admission Ticket

Check our website for details about our summer programs! www.redriverzoo.org family

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(ages 14 & under)

at any Gate City Bank location in Fargo/Moorhead/West Fargo April/May 2013

•D ecorate a Bookbag Workshop for Kids. All materials provided. Pre-registration required. Apr. 29, 4 p.m. •P arachute Play For Toddlers & Preschoolers. Pre-registration required. Apr. 30, 10 a.m. & 11 a.m. •C rafty Teens. Pre-registration required. May 11, 1 p.m. •C omputer Classes. Call for details

Plains Art Museum A Creative Life: Honoring Charles Beck

Charles Beck, Tulip, 2006, Woodcut, Courtesy of Yvonne Condell

Fargo Public Main Library (cont.) • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Apr. 20 & May 18, 10 a.m. • Paws for Reading. Kids in grades K-6 can sign up to read to a therapy pet. Pre-registration required. Apr. 20 & May 18, 1 p.m. • Princess Tea Party. Come dressed as a princess or prince. Geared to ages 4-8. Pre-registration required. Apr. 20, 2 p.m. • Genealogy Research Series. Pre-registration required. Apr. 28, May 5 & 12, 2 p.m.

April/May 2013

Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Tea Time Book Club. Apr. 7 & May 5, 2:30 p.m. •B aby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Apr. 4 & 18, May 2 & 16, 10 a.m. • Teen Crafts. Pre-registration required. Apr. 9 & 23, 4:30 p.m. •F ree Friday Movie. Apr. 12 & May 10, 1 p.m. •U nraveled Crafters Club. Apr. 12 & 28, May 12, 1 p.m. •S torytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Apr. 13 & May 11, 10 a.m. •D ecorate a Bookbag Workshop for Kids. All materials provided. Pre-registration required. Apr. 25, 4 p.m. •M uslim Journeys – Screening of “Koran by Heart.” Dr. David Myers moderates a discussion following the film. Apr. 28, 2 p.m. •C rafty Teens. Pre-registration required. May 7, 6 p.m. •C omputer Classes. Call for details Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org •S torytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Apr. 6 & May 4, 10 a.m. •N orthport Classics Book Club. Apr. 17 & May 15, 6:30 p.m. •D ecorate a Bookbag Workshop for Kids. All materials provided. Pre-registration required. Apr. 23, 4 p.m.

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family

West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or www.westfargolibrary. org • Homework Center. Room is supervised, help is offered, and snack provided. 3-5:30 p.m., Monday-Thursday on days school is in session (through May 23) • Children’s Simply Stories. Tuesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Knitty Giddy. Adult group; bring your own supplies. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime with Craft. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 1:30 p.m., Thursdays, 6:30 p.m. • Ham Radio Group. All adults welcome; children must attend with an adult. Wednesdays, 6:45 p.m. • Friday Morning Movies. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Genealogy Saturdays. A staff genealogist will be available. Saturdays, noon-4 p.m. • New Release Movies. Call for titles. Apr. 6 & 27, May 11 & 18, 2 p.m. • Dabble in Calligraphy. Pre-registration required. Apr. 11, 7 p.m. • Video Gaming. All ages welcome. Apr. 14 & 28, May 5 & 19, 2-4 p.m. • Cover to Cover. Designing Quilters display. Apr. 14-May 31 • Nutrition in Action. Geared for preschoolers and their caretakers. Apr. 18, 10:15 a.m. • Friends of the Library Book Sale. Apr. 20, 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Apr. 21, 1-4 p.m. • Money Smart. Learn about how to set up a budget and get bills paid. Open to all ages. Apr. 25, 6 p.m. • “Stranger Danger” Puppet Show. Presented by Kids on the Block. Apr. 30, 2-2:30 p.m. • Storytime with Cat in the Hat. May 23, 6:30 p.m. • Computer Classes. Call for details Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or www.larl.org • Storytime. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Craft Time. Tuesdays following storytime • Baby Bounce. Thursdays, 10 a.m. • Origami Club. Apr. 1 & May 6, 6:30 p.m. • Wii Wednesday. Apr. 3 & May 1, 6 p.m. • Plastic Bag Crochet Workshop. No experience necessary; crochet hooks and plastic bags appreciated if you have them. Apr. 4, 7 p.m. • Bonsai Tree Presentation. Lionel Flood presents about the art, history, and styles of bonsai trees. Apr. 5, 9:30 a.m. • Caroll Engelhardt Presentation. Learn what it was like to live in the rural Midwest in the ‘40s and ‘50s. Apr. 9, 10 a.m. • LEGO Club. Apr. 11 & May 9, 6 p.m., Apr. 27 & May 25, 2 p.m. • Dennis Warner, Minnesota Folk Family Musician. A fun and memorable concert for adults and families. Apr. 15, 9:30 a.m. • YELL in the Library. Teens: Play games, have snacks, volunteer, plan events, and more! Apr. 15 & May 20, 7 p.m. • Classics Book Club. Apr. 16 & May 21, 7 p.m. • “We Can’t Even Make This Stuff Up.” Three mystery authors discuss their plot inspirations. Apr. 18, 7 p.m. • Adult Book Discussion Group. Apr. 18 & May 16, 7 p.m. • Customer Appreciation Day. Movies, games, prizes, and refreshments. Apr. 19, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. • Trash Transformations. Create or finish your submission for the Waste Transformation Art Exhibit. Bring supplies to share and dig through our collection. Apr. 20, 6 p.m. • Waste Transformation Art Exhibition. Works of art created from materials that would otherwise be thrown away. Drop off Apr. 20 & 21, exhibit Apr. 22-26

family

• Minnesota Book Awards 25th Anniversary. Celebrate with four popular Minnesota authors. Apr. 22, 6:30 p.m. • Fashion Trends & Issues in the 1850s to the 1920s. Program presented by Vickie Wendel. Apr. 24, 7 p.m. • Where Does My Garbage Go? Shannon Thompson shares what happens to solid waste in Clay County and how we can do our part to reduce, reuse, and recycle. Apr. 25, 7 p.m. • Bicycle Bash. Cyclists of all abilities celebrate National Bike Month. Learn basic repair, bike safety, and more. May 13, throughout the day • Digital Library Help. Call for an appointment • Computer Classes. Call for details

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www. childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Yunkie Club Early Childhood Family Education Probstfield Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 or https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us • Baby Connection (Birth-12 mos) • Family Fun (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Family Fun with Little Ones (Birth-3 yrs) • Gym Fun (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Make It, Take It (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Ones & Twos (12-36 mos) • Storybook Science (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Wonderful, Wobbly Ones (12-24 mos)

JOURNEYING HOME SPRING CONFERENCE 2013 Featuring noted author, educator and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt

Understanding Your Grief: Touchstones for Hope and Healing Tuesday, June 11, 7-9 p.m. Ramada Plaza & Suites, Fargo Free and open to the public. No registration required. Daytime conference for health care professionals will be held Wednesday, June 12. Visit our website www.hrrv.org/journeyinghome for more information and to register. Sponsored in part by:

The Forum

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O F

F A R G O - M O O R H E A D

April/May 2013

embrace Education Series 701-234-7463 • Bone Health for the Cancer Survivor • Menopausal Symptom Management Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Birthing Center Tour • Breastfeeding Class • Car Seat Safety • Great Expectations • Infant Massage • Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions FM Ambulance 701-364-1758 or www.fmambulance.com • First Aid • Heartsaver CPR F/M Communiversity 218-299-3438 or www.fmcommuniversity. org Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Accelerated Artists • Artmania • Mother’s Day Dandy • Penny & Pals • Teen Art

April/May 2013

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FirstLink 701-293-6462 or www.myfirstlink.org Fraser, Ltd. 2902 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org • I nfant/Child & Adult CPR/First Aid Hospice of the Red River Valley 1701 38th St. S., Fargo, 701-356-1500 or www.hrrv.org •J ourneying Through Grief • Youth Journeys Moorhead Community Education 218-284-3400 or https://communityed. moorhead.k12.us MSUM 218-477-2579, www.mnstate.edu/msumcollegeforkids, or cfk@mnstate.edu • College for Kids Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org •A rt for Two •A rtful Yoga •K id Quest • Youth & Adult Art Experiences Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/ casscountyextension/home-and-family •B right Beginnings •N urtured Heart Approach

family

Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org (See ad pg. 29) • Junior Zookeeper Leadership Program • Pint-size Explorers • Summer Zooniversity • ZooVentures Sanford Health Community Education 1711 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org • Baby Signs • Better Choices, Better Health Workshop • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • C.A.R.S. (Children & Restraint Systems) • Family & Friends CPR • Heartsaver CPR for Daycare Providers • Infant Massage • Lamaze • My First Ride • Our Family is Having a Baby • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby U of M Extension 218-236-2005 • Parents Forever The Village Financial Resource Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education YMCA 701-293-9622, 701-281-0126 or www.ymcacassclay.org • CPR & AED Training • First Aid • Healthy Family Home • Lifeguard Training • LIVESTRONG (701-356-1448) • Water Safety Instructor Training

Red River Zoo, Fargo MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2920 • Zoo Sky. Ends May 18 • DARK. Ends May 20 Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org • Renewal Phase: New Work by Britta Trygstad. Ends Apr. 6 • Playful Pollinators. Ends Apr. 28 • Andy Warhol: Creating Myth & Icon. Ends May 19 • A Creative Life: Honoring Charles Beck • Beyond Convention: New Work by Jessica Wachter The Rourke Art Museum & Gallery Museum: 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, Gallery: 523 S. 4th St., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org • Earth Day Celebration. Apr. 21, 1-4 p.m. • Art From Earth From Above. Ends Apr. 21 • Greg Montreuil: Wrestling with Space. Begins Apr. 26 • Of Memory, Bone & Myth: National Juried Photography Show • The Brothers: Two Ways of Seeing

Summer Reading Program Coming this summer to the Fargo Public Library

June 3 - August 3

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Cass County Museum 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville.com Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 • Senior Art Exhibition. Apr. 9-May 5 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum. org Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org • FMVA Big Art Show. Begins Apr. 6 • Electrifying Minnesota. Ends May 27 (See ad pg. 24) • Prairie Daughters: The Art and Lives of Annie Stein and Orabel Thortvedt MSUM Art Gallery Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 701-388-6512 • BA/BS/BFA Exhibition #2. Apr. 8-25 • BFA Exhibition. Apr. 29-May 16

family

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FREE

for kids, teens and adults

701-241-1472 www.fargolibrary.org April/May 2013

YOUR FAMILY ❚ parenting

very decade has its icons: Marilyn Monroe in the 1950s, The Beatles in the 1960s, John Travolta and Farrah Fawcett in the 1970s. Today’s top celebrities include Jimmie Johnson, Kate Middleton, Jennifer Lopez, and Robert Pattinson. You may recognize their faces on television, read their headlines at the newsstand, and overhear their names in conversation. How much influence do these modern stars have on your children? You might be surprised. Teachers tell us that kids talk about media stars who reflect the persona to which they aspire—perfect looks, glamorous sweetheart, incredible wealth, or amazing athletic ability. In his book “A Parents’ Guide to the Middle School Years,” Joe Bruzzese writes that “Adolescence is a time when a child experiments with different personas as she moves closer to identifying her true self-image.” As kids evolve from their child to adult selves, they seek specific influences to inspire their future. Erin Spies, counselor at the Sheyenne 9th Grade Center in West Fargo, says, “If kids have supportive relationships at home, then a family member tends to be the biggest role model.” They look up to close relatives. In a recent, informal survey of local tweens and teens, celebrities mentioned as favorites were the band One Direction, basketball star Michael Jordan, and singers Justin Bieber, Beyoncé, and Ariana Grande. But when it comes to role models, who they want to fashion their lives after, young people take more than celebrity into consideration. The Village Family Magazine asked area tweens and teens to name their biggest role models. And here’s what they said. Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

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Emma S. (11), Horizon Middle School: My mother because I’ve learned so much from her. s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

Hannah W. (11), Carl Ben Eielson Middle School: The person I admire is my oldest brother Jacob because he showed me that your dreams can come true, and that it is possible to love what you do. Rena H. (14), Sheyenne 9th Grade Center: Drew Barrymore because her directing—and acting in those films—shows that a girl can do things and she can be herself.

Alyssa S. (15), Sheyenne 9th Grade Center:

Nicki Minaj

s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

because she is one of the first female rappers.

Raymie V. (14), Sheyenne 9th Grade Center: My brother is my biggest role model because he can reach me on a deep emotional level. Sydney G. (13), Detroit Lakes Middle School: Ellen DeGeneres because she’s funny and a good person and always really cheerful and positive. Rian B. (12), Northern Cass School: Walt Disney because as a kid he loved to draw and paint and he also loved trains. When he grew up, he made a job for himself doing all those things he loved as a kid. family

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April/May 2013

s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

Gunnar B.Â (16), Fargo South High School: I admire and enjoy watching actor and producer, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I believe him to be a respectful, humble, and funny person. Dawson B. (13), Carl Ben Eielson Middle School: The person I admire is my 4th- and 5th-grade teacher (from Lincoln) Mr. Johnson. He continues to teach while he has MS, and he taught in a way that helped me understand the subject better. He is also funny, nice, and made the class fun. Annie D. (13), Oak Grove Lutheran School: My mom. I am inspired by my motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decision to finish her doctorate in medicine.

Thank You

2013 North Dakota Picnic Sponsors

April/May 2013

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family

s_bukley / Shutterstock.com

Forrest W. (10), Bennett Elementary School: Ryan Braun, the only Jewish player on the Milwaukee Brewers’ roster. Rhiannon M. (15), Sheyenne 9th Grade Center: Maria Brink, the lead singer from the heavy metal band, In This Moment. Abby N. (12), Ben Franklin Middle School: I admire professional athletes because they work hard and are very dedicated to improving themselves. One of my favorite athletes is soccer player Abby Wambach.

Proof Stamp Date: ____ OK__ Changes__ Signature________________

Kamia H. (11), Horizon Middle School: I look up to my mother and respect her as a role model because she’s caring and loving. My mom is creative in her own way, and I love that! Maren G. (12), Detroit Lakes Middle School: My older sister because she taught me not to gossip and [to accept] all types of people. Ariana B. (12), Northern Cass School: R.L. Stine because his “Goosebumps” books got me started. I love his books and the way he writes. Freelance writer Courtney Taylor contributed to this article. family family

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April/May 2013 37 April/May 2011 45

You Don’t Have To Go It Alone

For over 120 years, The Village Family Service Center has helped area children and families improve their lives. The Village was founded as a home for orphaned children, and for decades provided a sanctuary for those who often had no other place to go. Times have changed, and we discovered it wasn’t just kids who needed help. Every year, The Village reaches out to more than 75,000 people, and we are constantly adapting our services to meet the needs of modern life. From individual and family counseling to child care, mentoring and adoption to financial counseling and workplace issues, The Village is a place for all individuals and families. As the definition of family evolves, so do we and no matter how you define family, at The Village, you will never go it alone.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 1-800-627-8220 www.TheVillageFamily.org

norTH DAkoTA LocATIons Bismarck • Devils Lake • Fargo Grand Forks • Jamestown • Minot • Williston

April/May 2013

MInnesoTA LocATIons Alexandria • Brainerd • Crystal • Detroit Lakes • Fergus Falls Mahnomen • Moorhead • Park Rapids • Roseau • St. Cloud villagefamilymag.org family Warroad • White Earth

Devastating Accident, Remarkable Recovery

Matthew Heuer looked across the farm field near their home in Leonard, N.D., and saw the overturned ATV. Within minutes he found Jared, their 9-year-old son, lying facedown in the ditch. The accident happened the evening of Oct. 14, 2012. An immediate call to 911 triggered the arrival of the Leonard ambulance and first responders. Sanford LifeFlight landed a short time later. “Jared arrived at Sanford Emergency Center before we did,” says his mom, Nicholle. “I was so scared we were going to lose him. I kept hoping we had really good doctors on our side.” Jared’s injuries were extensive: eight broken ribs, bruised and collapsed lungs including three leaks, a fractured scapula and a lacerated liver. That night a Sanford surgical team tried to repair the leaks in the lungs. The damage from a 600-pound ATV landing on his chest was too much. Jared coded twice during surgery.

A link to life A single piece of expensive, hightech, child-sized medical equipment made the critical difference for Jared: the oscillator ventilator. It was purchased with donations to Children’s Miracle Network. Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals helps children by raising funds and awareness for children’s hospitals across North America. For the next 48 hours, the ventilator and other medical support kept Jared alive. Family, friends and community dug deep, turning their grief into a rallying cry. They even wore handmade pins that said “Go Jared. We Believe.” The camouflage design honored Jared’s passion for

hunting and fishing. The capabilities at Sanford Children’s helped inspire belief in Jared’s recovery. Care included: • An expert team including pediatric intensive care specialists, a heart surgeon, lung specialist, neuropsychologist and more.

own. Pediatric physical and occupational therapists helped him regain strength and movement. Play occupied his time. Donations to Children’s Miracle Network at Sanford Children’s help ensure a bright, cheery playroom and child life specialists. Even when sick and injured, kids can still be kids.

• Highly trained nurses in the Pediatric Intensive Care and Pediatrics Unit. Going home 17 days later “They were amazing,” says Nicholle. “Just seeing Jared walk to the pickup “You could tell they love what they do was incredible,” says Matthew. “If we by how much they love their patients.” lived anywhere else, I’m not sure we’d our son. That’s the difference A miracle on the third day have Sanford Children’s made for our family.” On Oct. 17, a dramatic turnaround. Today Jared’s doing well. A thirdWhile still on life support in Pediatric grader, he’s back in school full time. He Intensive Care, Jared underwent an completed outpatient occupational and exam in which a specialist inserted a tiny physical therapy and his lungs continue to camera to view his lungs. heal. “By the grace of God, the largest leak “It’s unbelievable when you consider in Jared’s right lung somehow plugged. how seriously injured he was,” says Nobody can explain it,” says Nicholle. Nicholle. “He’s braver than he thinks and “I believe that miracle could never have stronger than he realizes.” happened without the oscillator ventilator For that and more, Jared has been keeping him alive.” named the Children’s Miracle Network From that day on, Jared kept moving North Dakota Champion for 2013. The forward. With the help of Sanford Children’s Miracle Network Champions Children’s respiratory therapists, he made program honors Jared and others in the the difficult transition from machineU.S. and Canada who have triumphed assisted breathing to breathing on his over severe medical challenges.

This medical update was brought to you by Sanford Health. Learn more at childrens.sanfordhealth.org. family

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April/May 2013

YOUR FAMILY z money

When it comes to a family vacation and managing a budget, planning is essential. Family vacations play an important role in keeping families close. Here are some ways not to break your wallet and make sure your time together is stress-free.

April/May 2013

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family

Make Reservations... Making reservations ahead of time can save on dollars and stress. Be savvy about using technology; sometimes the Internet can have fantastic offers. Look for coupons. Planning the time of year you travel can also help save.

Bring Your Own Beverages Bring your own beverages and food. You can save money by bringing refillable bottles whether you are going to Disney World or just to the lake for the weekend. It is a great way to be environmentally friendly and avoid spending money on beverages when you would rather invest your money towards activities for the family. Pack a cooler and stop by a grocery store along the way to keep meal costs down.

Make a List... And yes, check it twice. There is nothing quite as stressful as getting to the hotel and realizing you forgot your swimsuit at home, or the toiletry bag is still sitting on the bathroom counter. It can be costly and frustrating to replace these items at your destination, so having them written down and checked off will keep you on track.

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April/May 2013

Talk It Over...

Include everyone in the initial discussion and planning. Make sure that all voices and preferences are heard. What is each person hoping to do on this vacation? Settle on an overall budget and try to include an activity that each family member would like, while discussing where that will fit into the general budget. Budgeting for a family vacation is a great opportunity for children to learn what things cost and the choices that need to be made.

9 Factors to Consider

1. Packing. Fly, and you’re looking at baggage fees in the realm of $20 per bag, per person, each way. If you drive, there are no extra fees and you can stuff whatever you want in the car. But depending on the vehicle, there may not be much space for everyone’s luggage. 2. Pace. Flights require you to arrive by a certain time so they can make you stand in a long line and then sit in the takeoff queue. Plus there are storm delays and waiting at baggage claim—but the farther you have to go, the more time you save. And at least there’s no traffic in the sky. Drive and you’ll face lots of it, but your travel time

April/May 2013

is otherwise only restricted by your own endurance. (And maybe speed limits.) 3. Scenery. On a road trip, every seat is a window seat, and you can stop for a closer look whenever you want. 4. Distance. Where long distance is a factor, so are overnight accommodations. Unless you plan to sleep in your car or drive all night—not the safest idea—you have to add motel costs to the total price, and food costs stack up, too. 5. Numbers. The biggest cost factor is how many people are traveling with you. Costs multiply per villagefamilymag.org

6. Safety. According to the Smithsonian Institution, planes are far safer than cars: “More people die in auto accidents in three months in the United States than have lost their lives in the entire history of commercial flight.” 7. Multitasking. Driving duty leaves you with little time to relax or get work done. Take a plane and you can sit on your laptop or smartphone—maybe with in-flight Wi-Fi. 8. Comfort. Sitting in a car for hours is no fun, but at least you can get out and stretch. 9. Destination travel. Flying may leave you without a free ride from the airport, and may mean public transportation or cabs to get around. Bringing your own vehicle can save on that expense. family

Source: www.moneytalksnews.com

Fly or Drive?

person on a flight, while driving allows you to pool gas money.

Relax!

Sit by the campfire, swim in the hotel pool, or have a family picnic at a rest stop. These are the things you and your family will remember ten years from now. You can’t put a dollar amount on time spent together. So sit back and just relax.

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giving impacts lives

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April/May 2013

MENTAL HEALTH

Financial Counselor

Clinical Psychologist ShareHouse, Inc.

Certified Financial Counselor The Village Family Service Center

Morgan Almer

Erica Hoff, PhD

Q: A:

I have heard several people talk about DBT. I struggle with depression and anxiety. What is this and could it be helpful to me?

DBT is short for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (say that three times fast!) and it is a form of therapy that can be helpful to anyone who ever feels overwhelmed by emotions. For example, do people often tell you that you overreact to minor problems? Do you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster that just won’t stop? DBT teaches specific skills that help people feel in control of emotions and able to tolerate sadness, anxiety, and other difficult emotions that naturally occur. The therapy also focuses on developing a strong sense of self-worth, and It teaches people fair and effective ways to interact with family, friends, and co-workers. DBT is an empowering therapy so you can feel good about yourself! ShareHouse Transitions Mental Health Center offers a weekly DBT skills group. For more information call 701-478-8440. ShareHouse, Inc. 4227 9th Ave SW, Fargo, ND 701-282-6561 www.ShareHouse.org

Q:How can I tell if my spending is out of control?

To help identify the danger signals associated with overspending, financial counselors at The Village give the following 10 warning signs to determine if spending is out of control. 1. Purchases hidden from others. 2. Bills paid late or ignored. 3. Checking accounts routinely overdrawn. 4. Credit essential to maintain current lifestyle level. 5. Unwilling to review how money is spent. 6. Unaware of how much is owed. 7. Items routinely purchased, and then returned. 8. Shopping used as a salve for emotional stress. 9. Unwilling to set financial goals. 10. Afraid to check credit report and score. If you identify with any of the actions, seek help immediately. The problem will not resolve itself.

The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo 701-235-3328 or 1-800-450-4019 www.TheVillageFamily.org www.HelpWithMoney.org

The Village Counselors are here to help. In-office counseling available for individuals, couples, parents, and children. Online counseling also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org 44

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Water Color Shapes Paper Spray bottle Water Food coloring Foam shapes

YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Craft paint (any color) Paint brush Paper Black marker

Mix food coloring in a spray bottle with water to get the shade you desire. Place foam shapes on a piece of paper. Spray over the shapes with your colored-water spray bottle. Remove the shapes and let dry.

Use a brush to paint toes any color you like. Press painted toes onto paper. Allow to dry. Add legs, eyes, and antennae to make a caterpillar!

(Submitted by: Pre-Toddler II Room at Nokomis I) Ella, Age 1

Cake Mix Waffles 1 box of yellow cake mix (prepared as directed) 1 teaspoon cinnamon For this very easy recipe, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll need one box of yellow cake mix, prepared as directed on the package. Add 1 teaspoon of cinnamon to the cake batter and stir well. Generously spray your waffle iron with cooking spray and preheat. Use cake batter just like waffle batter. Cook to a golden brown.

family

Serve with powdered sugar, berries, syrup, or drizzled with cream cheese frosting. Looking for variety? Try dessert waffles: chocolate cake mix waffles topped with ice cream and chocolate sauce or sandwiched with ice cream in between.

villagefamilymag.org

April/May 2013

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom

The Tragedy of Missing Out

‘‘

Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.

’’

—Indira Gandhi

by Leo Babauta

A father and his son went fishing on a small boat, hungry. The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said. “Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said. “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?” “Maybe you should try,” the father said. And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said. “But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked. “Maybe you should try,” the father said. And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on. At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?” The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.” The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”

Advice from a Tree By Ilan Shamir

Stand tall and proud Sink your roots into the earth Be content with your natural beauty Go out on a limb Drink plenty of water Remember your roots Enjoy the view!

———— We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other, that we’re missing out on things. It’s why we’re so busy—we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out. We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out. But here’s the bare truth: we will miss out, no matter what. It’s inevitable. We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long. We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every important film. We will always, always miss out.

Perseverance is not a long race;

it is many short races one after the other.

—Walter Elliot

Here’s the second, more important truth: if you always worry about what you’re missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have. Don’t make a reading list a mile long—focus on the book in your hand. Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting—walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world—be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online, or in the news—what you’re doing is good enough. And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists. They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now. What you’re doing right now is all that matters. Let the rest go, and enjoy the fish you’ve already caught.

April/May 2013

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This world could not exist if it were not so simple. The ground has been tilled a thousand years, yet its powers remain ever the same; a little rain, a little sun, and each spring it grows green again.

—Goethe

family

Save on Your Taxes There has never been a better time to show your commitment to North Dakota’s children with a new expanded state tax credit. North Dakotans may now receive a 40% tax credit for gifts made to endowments of charities such as The Village Family Service Center*. 40% for Individuals Contributions of $5,000 or more (cash or planned gifts) will qualify for a 40% tax credit of up to $10,000 per person or $20,000 for a married couple. A donor in the 28% tax bracket may see these benefits: GIFT AMOUNT Federal Tax Savings North Dakota Tax Credit

$5,000 -1,400 -2,000

$50,000 -14,000 -20,000

Net cost of gift:

$1,600

$16,000

40% for Businesses & Financial Institutions C corporations, S corporations, estates, limited liability companies, and trusts may qualify for a 40% tax credit, up to a maximum credit of $10,000. (This information is accurate as of date of publication.)

For FREE information on the North Dakota State Tax Credit and other Estate Planning tools, complete and return the form below, or call Janet at 701-451-5036. Complete and mail to: Janet Zinke, The Village Family Service Center, P.O. Box 9859, Fargo, ND 58106

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 Please send me additional information on how I can use North Dakota’s expanded tax credit to save on my taxes. Name:__________________________________ Telephone:_________________ Address:___________________________________________________________ City:______________ State:____ Zip:________ Email:______________________

* The Children’s Village Family Service Foundation was created solely to support the ongoing work and legacy of The Village Family Service Center. The Village is North Dakota’s oldest child-caring agency and family villagefamilymag.org has served North Dakotans throughout the entire state since 1891.

April/May 2013

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