Village Family Magazine - Dec / Jan 2013 by The Village Family Service Center

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December/January 2013

YOUR FAMILY z from the editor December/January 2013 Vol. 16, No. 6 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Kelly Lynch Graphic Design & Layout Jared Zimney Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Advertising Sales Madalyn Pezalla Food & Fun Editor Shayna Hendricksen Copy Editor Shayna Hendricksen The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Carrie Bjorge, David Dougherty, Lyman Edds, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Tammy Hauck, Richard Henderson, Nancy McKenzie, Dale Mowry, Michelle Powers, Joy Query, Becky Walen

If you’re like me, you have a tendency to view the holiday season with a bit of anxiety. You want it to be a memorable time for your family; you want to celebrate the season with friends; you want to “do it all.” Mix in your day-to-day obligations of work, kids’ activities, and home life, and it turns into a whirlwind month of little sleep, endless shopping, lots of mingling, and general pandemonium. What if you didn’t “do it all?” What if you scaled things back and trimmed down your self-imposed obligations to focus on the most essential aspect of your family’s holiday celebration? There are so many positives to simplifying the season. You’ll reduce stress, save money, consume less, and likely enjoy the holiday more. Maybe the biggest gift you give cherished family and friends this holiday season is simply your time. It’s worth considering. During these hectic weeks, many people experience mild symptoms associated with stress and anxiety, like trouble sleeping or loss of appetite. However, when these symptoms increase in intensity and affect your ability to function and enjoy life, it may be a sign of mental illness. In our feature article, “Mental Illness: Slowly Eroding the Stigma,” writer Patricia Carlson examines several aspects of mental illness, including people’s perceptions of it. Several people were willing to talk to her about their illness, but most wanted to remain anonymous. Mental illness is an important topic to me, not only because of the work we do here at The Village, but also because I have dear family and friends who deal with symptoms of depression, anxiety disorders, and other mental illnesses. They, too, tend to keep their diagnoses quiet. To me, they are as courageous as cancer survivors, anyone facing serious illness, or people managing chronic diseases—because mental illness, too, is chronic. It’s unpredictable, intrusive, and sometimes, debilitating. Therapists interviewed for the article commented they do see a slight shift in the public’s perception of mental illness, which is very encouraging. It is up to all of us to be better informed about mental illness and offer reassurance, love, and support to those we know who are suffering from it.

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Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2012 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising. The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles and features will educate and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships.

to the winners of a Family Four Pack of tickets to see Sesame Street Live! Krista F., Fargo

Keiko L., Fargo

Heather R., Moorhead

Rita L., Breckenridge

We hope you enjoy the show!

About the Cover Photo Riyah, 2 months Photography by Maren Wright

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departments z parenting

z feature

6 Merry Birthday

37 Mental Illness: Slowly Eroding the Stigma

Discover ways to make your child’s birthday exclusively his, even if it lands amid the celebratory chaos of the Christmas season. z do-it-together

Mental illness is a medical condition, so why do many who suffer from it suffer in silence? Therapists, physicians, and those dealing with mental illness share their thoughts.

16 Setting the Table

z money

Knowing how to set the table is a valuable life skill. Use these hints to help kids remember what goes where. z spirituality

20 The Hanukkah Menorah: A Spiritual Light

42 Are You Financially Literate?

Make a New Year’s resolution to be an educated consumer in the increasingly complex world of personal finance—with the help of these resources.

Learn more about one of the oldest symbols of the Jewish faith. in every issue

z gary’s opinion.......9 z books & movies...10

z mom’s view.........12 z dad’s view...........13

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z events calendar....24 z food & fun............45

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z words & wisdom...46

December/January 2013 5

YOUR FAMILY z parenting

ra Aman

By Lau

6 December/January 2013

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Anyone

who has a child born in the holiday season knows that, as well as being magical, the season can be, well, stressful. And busy. Like most parents, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let my child’s December birthday get swept into the tidal wave of the holiday season. We’ve tried different ways of celebrating before finding the one that works for us. While no solution is perfect, there tends to be a solution for each family. Sometimes it just takes a while to figure out which one is best for you.

Proceed as usual

One popular choice is to celebrate the birthday as close to the actual day as possible and avoid using a holiday motif. If he likes Star Wars, then have a Star Wars-themed party. It takes some advance planning and extra time over the holidays, but for many kids, it means so much. “I love it! I get triple the presents!” laughs 7-year-old Grant Heinberg. His mother usually holds his party as close to December 22, his actual birthday, as possible. “I have the most luck planning his ‘friend party’ on the last day of school before vacation. People are still around and not traveling or with relatives yet,” she explains. She usually takes the party elsewhere, rather than hosting it in her home, to relieve some of the stress. Jessica Mancuso has always had her son’s December 17 birthday party near the actual day. “The only disadvantage is that in the years where we have big parties, he gets tons of presents all at once and gets overwhelmed.” She pauses, “But he loves that time of year so much that it doesn’t really faze him.”

ornaments as a craft. If you prefer not hosting a party at home, take advantage of all the holiday entertainment in the area. Plan an ice-skating party, have the kids go caroling, or take them to a holiday play. Cindy McCann embraces the holiday theme for her daughter, who was born on December 22. One year she purchased small Norfolk Island pine trees potted in a container and had the guests make ornaments; the decorated trees then went home as a party favor. Another time, the girls had relay races with shaving cream and decorated her relatives (good sports who were dressed in red) like Santa. They’ve also been to a local production of The Nutcracker. “We recognize the fact that Christmas is right around the corner, so we incorporate the season but still make it about the birthday girl,” she explains.

Half-birthday party

Some parents and kids prefer to spread out the fun. Kelley Nelson has planned her daughter’s big celebration on June 22 to commemorate her half-birthday. “One year I made a half-birthday cake that was half lion and half zebra,” she remembers. “I usually made some joke about Santa or Christmas in her June invitation and explained that it was her half-birthday.” Conversely, you can incorporate the holiday theme in a summer birthday. Have Santa make an appearance or play Christmas music outside in the warm weather. Kids will get a

Embrace the built-in theme

Another option is to stop searching for Tinker Bell cups or a Darth Vader centerpiece and consider the fact that the Christmas holiday lends itself to plenty of party ideas complete with decorations. If you host it at home, simply put a twist on traditional games: pin the star on the tree or play musical chairs with Christmas music. Partygoers can decorate cookies or make

Tips for holiday birthdays: • No “Merry Birthdaymas” gifts. Everyone deserves separate birthday recognition. • Don’t use Christmas wrapping paper—always wrap the gifts in birthday paper. • Family parties often occur on the birthday child’s big day. Encourage family members to recognize the birthday separately by singing “Happy Birthday,” having a cake, and giving separate presents.

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• Serve birthday cake even if the celebration is happening on Christmas Day. • Plan the party early. Weekends fill up quickly in December and many people travel over the holidays. Keep in mind that some friends may not be able to make it. • Let her choose her favorite meal or restaurant for the birthday dinner if at all possible.

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December/January 2013 7

kick out of playing traditional Christmas games in June. And this is probably the only time when it is not only okay, but actually funny, to use Christmas paper to wrap birthday presents! A half-birthday helps with the cluster of gifts that arrives in December and adds some variety. Half-birthdays spread the fun throughout the year; they definitely take stress off the parents during the holiday season and allow kids to relax and enjoy something different.

Later birthdays

Our family has finally settled on a January party. The Christmas rush is over and we can focus on her and her special day. As my daughter explains, “It doesn’t seem so much like Christmas; it’s more about my birthday.” January is a rather quiet month and people are usually available. Many businesses have January or winter specials to entice people out after the holidays. We celebrate a family party with cousins and grandparents early in December, making her birthday celebration a month-long event—another bonus for her.

Christmas Day birthdays

matter how hard parents may try, usually the focus of the day is on the celebration of Christmas. Stacy Leonard only celebrated her daughter Meredith’s December 25 birthday once on the actual day. “There is a photo taken of me that day that says it all,” she remembers. “I’m sitting in a chair, sound asleep. We had Christmas morning, church, Christmas dinner, birthday cake, and presents. It was too exhausting. That was the last time we celebrated her birthday on Christmas Day.” Now they choose to celebrate her birthday one or two weeks before Christmas. They pick the day in advance and that day is entirely spent celebrating Meredith’s birthday. On Christmas Day, they focus on Christmas.

Work with your child

When it comes to holiday birthday celebrations, no single solution is perfect for everyone. Some kids resist celebrating on any day but their actual birthday, while some enjoy having a day that doesn’t involve the holiday. It may take a few years to get it right or the answer may come easily. Above all, enjoy both special days with your special child! Laura Amann is a freelance writer who not only celebrates her daughter’s birthday in December, but four other family members’ birthdays as well.

This is perhaps the toughest birthday of the year. By necessity, part of the day is spent watching other people open gifts. No

New release from local author Ann Clute!

“Ann Clute bravely opens her life of Unusual Blessing to become a Blessing for her readers.” —Michael Kerouac, Managing Director of CellUCare

8 December/January 2013

Blessed with Unusual Happiness is a book of inspiration written for parents and families challenged by chronic illness. “Blessed With Unusual Happiness - A Mother’s Love Story About the Gift of Diabetes and So Much More” is an exceptionally unique book in the context of diabetes, childhood illness, parenting, faith, and chronic disease. Ann Clute shares not only stories of her experiences but she clearly and emotionally portrays expectations, concerns, fears, and the hope that we all have for our lives and especially for our children. The book is written from a perspective that is unusual in that she has lived and is living what she writes about. As a mom she connects emotionally and intellectually with issues that we all struggle with. The purpose is not to explain and make recommendations about the steps and theories of managing families or disease within families but instead the book is focused on what we feel, why we feel and how we can deal with those feelings most effectively and painlessly.

Order Today!

Paperback - http://tinyurl.com/BlessedMom Kindle - http://tinyurl.com/BlessedMomKindle villagefamilymag.org

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YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Decreasing Addiction’s Toll By Gary Wolsky, President/CEO The Village Family Service Center People are plagued with addictions of all kinds. On some level or another, we are all affected by our own, a family member’s, a co-worker’s, or a friend’s addiction. I am no exception. My dad had a wonderful career in progress and was devoted to his work, his family, and in every respect, the betterment of himself and Wolsky those around him. He did all of this quietly, with absolutely no fanfare, which was his nature, but he did it well. He was a wonderful dad and a fabulous role model. I wouldn’t have traded him for anyone in the world. But he had one fatal flaw, an addiction to alcohol that eventually cost him his job and his life. My dad lost his job at the apex of his career and earning potential, and in a sense, lost everything he’d worked for all his life. Not long after he lost his job, he lost his life in an “accident” triggered by a blood alcohol level of over 0.25. The cost of his addiction was huge in financial terms. But the many other costs were no less severe. My mother died of cancer at a relatively young age and although it’s impossible to be certain, there seems to be more and more evidence that high levels of stress are highly correlated to physical ailments. While alcohol continues to be the most prominent “drug of choice” for people who attempt to create a different reality than the one they live in, the prevalence of addiction to heroin and prescription drugs is as disconcerting now as meth was several years ago. By virtue of the work we do at The Village, we’ve always been aware of the devastation caused by addiction. These issues have come into even sharper focus since last December when First Step Recovery, a premiere and immensely successful outpatient addiction treatment facility, became a part of The Village. In addition to the financial devastation to families, the cost in dollars related to addictions to our society is breathtaking. Studies suggest our hospital beds are filled with people being treated for a host of physical problems that are actually secondary problems caused by alcohol addiction. And too often, we fail to treat the addiction, the real source of the problem. It has been suggested that our focus on this one element of healthcare could shave a huge amount off of what you pay monthly for your insurance co-pays, deductibles, and prescription costs. I would urge you to dwell on that for a moment. What if recognizing and treating addiction problems, rather than focusing solely on the secondary issues caused by addiction, could trim hundreds of dollars a year off of what you and your employer pay for insurance? Wouldn’t it make sense to spend some time, money, and effort to figure out ways to address the addiction issues so prevalent in our society? We have to get smarter and more straightforward about how we recognize, engage, and treat addiction issues. This is part of what we hope to facilitate at The Village going forward, and family

not just from a treatment standpoint. The staff at First Step is exceptional at working with families and individuals affected by addiction—at treating the problem. But, my visits with the staff at First Step have convinced me that while treatment is essential, the bigger issues are the “system” changes that can ultimately provide huge advancements in the areas of prevention and early detection and treatment. As insurance companies recognize the business benefit (it’s cheaper) of funding earlier identification and treatment, we will likely see doctors and nurses better able to diagnose addiction problems. If this all evolves as we think it should, the costs of addiction will decrease, both in terms of dollars and cents as well as the pain and agony experienced by individuals, families, and employers. If there is something we can do for you, your family member, or your business, please let me know. The opinions expressed in this column are strictly those of The Village Family Service Center CEO. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the organization, staff, or boards of directors.

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Staff Pick: Tammy

YOUR FAMILY z m vies

PG On Netflix Instant Stream Harriet M. Welsch is an aspiring writer. She is also a spy. Not a professional spy by any means, but she’s good at learning secrets, that’s for sure. Harriet and her friends are always having fun with each other. Everything changes when the mean-spirited Marion Hawthorne finds Harriet’s notebook of secrets and reads it in front of everyone. Harriet’s friends leave her. To make things worse, Harriet’s nanny (Rosie O’Donnell) is fired for letting her stay up too late. Harriet must find a way to get her friends and her nanny back in this exciting and funny adventure from Nickelodeon.

New to

Theaters

“ The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”

PG-13 In Theatres December 14 Bilbo Baggins has never been on an adventure. Hobbits don’t go on adventures. Hobbits relax and enjoy the world around them. All of this changes abruptly with the arrival of Gandalf the Grey and a group of 13 Dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield. Thorin, the Dwarves, and Gandalf are seeking an accomplice to help them recover their stolen treasure from the evil dragon, Smaug. Along the way they will encounter goblins, trolls, elves, and a lonely, riddle-loving cave-dweller named Gollum. The long-awaited prequel to Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy comes to theaters in astonishing 3D. Keeping with Hollywood’s love for Martin Freeman as trilogies, “The Hobbit” will Bilbo Baggins be split into three featurelength films. Several actors reprise their roles from “Lord of the Rings” for “The Hobbit” including Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey, Andy Serkis as Gollum, and Cate Blanchett as Galadriel.

10 December/January 2013

“Harriet the Spy”

G Available on DVD In this Walt Disney classic, lookalikes Sharon and Susan (both played by Hayley Mills) meet at summer camp and become instant rivals. After a number of incidents between the two, they are placed in solitary confinement together where they become best friends. The girls figure out they are twins who were separated as babies when their parents divorced. Because neither parent has remarried, the girls conclude they must still be in love and believe it’s their job to bring the two parents back together. To do this, Sharon and Susan hatch a plan to switch places when camp is over. This way each girl can get to know their other parent, and the parents will have to face each other when it comes time to switch the girls back. Their plan must be moved up when a young woman named Vicky enters the picture. Vicky clearly has her eyes set on becoming their father’s new wife, so the sisters must find a way to get rid of her and reunite their parents. The twins get themselves into hilarious situations as they try to fit into each other’s very different worlds and get rid of Vicky. The Parent Trap is a great movie with comedy sure to delight the whole family. You can also check out the 1998 remake, but in my opinion, it doesn’t come close to the heartwarming charm of the classic 1961 version.

New On

DVD

“Ice Age: Continental Drift”

“The Parent Trap” (1961)

PG On DVD December 11 In this fourth installment of the Ice Age franchise, Manny, Sid, and Diego are set adrift on an ice floe, along with Sid’s Granny (voiced by Wanda Sykes). The tectonic plates have been snapped into pieces by Scrat the squirrel in his unending pursuit of an acorn at the Earth’s core. The group gets stranded in the middle of the ocean. The story revolves around the foursome’s struggles to find their way back home. The adventure takes them into dangerous waters inhabited by a pirate ape—Captain Gutt—and his crew. This comical tale even includes a love interest for Diego—a saber-toothed cat (voiced by Jennifer Lopez). This delightful story is fun for the whole family. (Voices include Ray Romano as Manny, John Leguizamo as Sid, and Denis Leary as Diego).

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YOUR FAMILY z

Book Reviews Courtesy Barnes & Noble, Fargo

Baby & Preschool “The Three Snow Bears” by Jan Brett Aloo-ki’s quiet morning of fishing comes to an abrupt end when she realizes her loyal sled dogs have become stranded on an ice floe. Running for help, the young girl soon finds an igloo, but it is empty; its polar bear inhabitants off on a prebreakfast stroll. Hungry herself, Aloo-ki decides to sample the goodies and then, sated, settles down for a comfy nap. When she awakens, she and the reader will make several sudden and happy discoveries. The book is filled with gorgeous illustrations. It will become the perfect bedtime, read-out-loud favorite.

Ages 4 to 8 “Yes, Virginia: There is a Santa Claus” by Chris Plehal In 1897, eight-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon wrote the New York Sun to ask a simple question: Is there a Santa Claus? The editor’s response was a stirring defense of hope, generosity, and the spirit of childhood. His essay has been reprinted countless times since, and the phrase “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” has become part of American Christmas lore. Based on these actual events, Yes, Virginia is the story of a little girl who taught a city to believe. A truly inspiring story! Teenagers “Ship Breaker” by Paolo Bacigalupi In America’s Gulf Coast region, where grounded oil tankers are being broken down for parts, Nailer, a teenage boy, works the light crew, scavenging for copper wiring just to make quota—and hopefully living to see another day. But when, by luck or by chance, he discovers an exquisite clipper ship beached during a recent hurricane, Nailer faces the most important decision of his life: Strip the ship for all it’s worth or rescue its lone survivor, a beautiful and wealthy girl who could lead him to a better life.

Adults “Happier at Home” by Gretchen Rubin In this follow up to “The Happiness Project,” Gretchen Rubin goes deeper on factors that matter for home, such as possessions, marriage, time, and parenthood. Each month, Rubin tackles a different theme as she experiments with concrete, manageable resolutions—and this time, she coaxes her family to try some resolutions, as well. The end result is a book that inspires readers to find more happiness in their own lives.

Ages 9 to 12 “Encyclopedia of Animals” by DK Publishing With answers to thousands of intriguing questions about the animal kingdom, this A-Z encyclopedia offers children fascinating insight into the behaviors, biology, and environments of their favorite animals. Fantastic full color pictures and fun facts for kids of all ages.

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December/January 2013 11

YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view

Dream Big and Pack a Sharpie By Gwen Rockwood Often the best conversations I have with my kids happen on the way to somewhere. I don’t remember what errand we were running when my son, Adam, and I had this exchange, but I’ll remember the talk for a long time. Him: “ Mom, I’ve decided to write a bucket list. You know what a bucket list is?” Me: “Yes, it’s a list of things you want to do before you die. You do realize you’re only 10 years old, right?” Him: “ Yeah, I know. I just think it’ll be good to have a list.” Me: “You’re right. So what are you gonna put on your bucket list?” Him: “ Well, the first thing is ‘Be on a game show.’ Either Kids Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune.” Me: “Excellent choice. What else is going on the list?” Him: “ I also want to write my name on the moon with a Sharpie.” Me: (Stunned silence.) “Uh, okay… That’s pretty interesting. So does this mean you’re going to be an astronaut and go into outer space? Did you change your mind about playing in the NBA for the Chicago Bulls and being an announcer for ESPN?” Him: “ No, I didn’t change my mind about that. I definitely want to do those things, too.” Me: “Oh. Wow. So you’re going to play for the NBA, be a sports announcer, AND become an astronaut?” Him: ( Noting the skepticism in my question) “So I can’t do all those things? Is that too much? Maybe I should mark the moon off the list.” As he thought about scaling back, I remembered something I saw online recently—a quote from an unknown source that says, “Have big dreams. You will grow into them.” And it reminded me that I should never imply that my kid’s dreams might be too much or too big. Because I don’t know what he’ll grow into. Who knows what possibilities may exist for his generation? Perhaps by then people will be taking quick sightseeing adventures to the moon the same way we rent a hotel room in Minneapolis for the weekend. So I retracted my earlier skepticism. Me: “Actually, I bet you can do all those things. Who knows what you’ll do when you’re a grown-up? And you shouldn’t take things off your list. If you want to do them, then they should go on the list. Your bucket list can have all kinds of cool dreams on it.” Him: “ Good. Because it would be really cool to write my name on the moon.” Me: “Definitely. I’d have never even thought of something that cool. And it’s smart to use a Sharpie marker because then the ink won’t wear off.” He smiled and nodded, and then we moved on to other 12 December/January 2013

Illustration by Trygve Olson

important matters like whether or not we could have pizza for dinner. But that conversation has stayed with me—reminding me how important it is to reach for something that forces us to grow. As adults, we often compress big dreams down into more practical packages. We edit them down so small they disappear or become something that looks more like a mundane to-do list versus a big-dream bucket list. I’m realizing now that part of my job as a parent is to protect my kids’ ability to dream. I don’t have to figure out how they’re going to accomplish those dreams. I just have to help them believe in themselves enough so that they’re not afraid to try— to “reach for the stars,” so to speak, or possibly even autograph the moon. Gwen Rockwood is a syndicated freelance columnist. Send comments to her at rockwoodfiles@cox.net. Archives of The Rockwood Files can be found online at www. nwaMotherlode.com.

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YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view

Want a Ride to the Mall? Catch Me! By Rick Epstein Did you ever get an idea that was so smart you wondered where it came from? May I tell you about mine? Like many teenagers, Wendy does not especially enjoy doing things with her parents. Gone are the days when she and I would play Rodeo on the living room rug. I’d be down on all fours and 6-year-old Wendy would climb onto my back. I’d be the bull and the announcer, too. “Now here’s Wendy Epstein, a young cowpoke from Laramie, Wyoming, taking a ride on Whirlagig, the meanest romper-stomper on the rodeo circuit.” Then I’d spring into action, spinning and bucking. I could always throw her, often without injury. Then she’d climb back on for another round, this time hailing from another western town and riding another bull— Cyclone or Widowmaker, or Hammerhead. But as Wendy got bigger, the game got to be too much for me (and my knees). We still liked to play rough, so we’d wrestle on the carpet. But at about age 10 she didn’t want to anymore. I miss the horsing around, although I got a taste of it last year when she beat me at one-on-one field hockey in the yard. I’ve asked for a rematch, but she never has the time. She’s always rushing off somewhere. Then one day I was in the driveway when Wendy, now 15, came out to ask for a ride to the mall. I knew what she wanted, but as she walked toward me, I walked away—just to be playful. When she broke into a run, so did I. Suddenly it was a fun chase, with both of us laughing. I didn’t get far, but I figured I was onto something. The next day Wendy wanted a ride to a girlfriend’s house. I said, “Sure, but you gotta catch me!” and I dashed out the front door. Determined but amused, Wendy took off after me. For a good time, there’s nothing like being chased around and around a parked car by someone you love. Wendy stopped and changed direction frequently, testing my alertness and agility. Then, to finish the workout, I sprinted down the street. She may be a little faster than me, but she didn’t want to get all sweaty before going visiting. I only gave it 90% myself, not wanting a heart attack. Our lives will be different now, I thought. As often as Wendy needs transportation, we will have a hilarious romp. The exercise will do me good, and Wendy, having to win a ride, will begin to appreciate my services. Maybe I’d make her chase me for her allowance, too. I’d write a book about it—“The Rick Epstein Way to Fun and Fitness”—and sell a million copies. But no matter how rich and famous I got, I’d still find time to make Wendy chase me before I’d let my agent drive her anywhere. Then came the Saturday night she wanted to go visit her boyfriend. She sat in the passenger seat while I stood nearby. “Sorry, but we’re not going until you catch me.” I said. If she thought she could out-wait me, she was wrong. I’m 56 and my wife and my TV set weren’t going anywhere. Wendy is the one with a dynamic social life that she was dying to get to. family

Illustration by Trygve Olson

In a few minutes her impatience boiled over and she lunged out of the car yelling, “I’m gonna kill you!” It wasn’t the merry call of a playfellow; it was the exasperated battle cry of a taunted teenager. When she caught me, she pounded on my back with her little fists. It wasn’t quite domestic violence. As we trudged back to the car, she muttered, “You are so annoying.” My idea of fun was her idea of being oppressed and teased. “The Rick Epstein Way to Fun and Fitness” lay in the gutter, twitched once, then expired. When I was Wendy’s age, I didn’t have much of a relationship with my own father and didn’t yearn for one, either. Dad spent his free time in an armchair reading the newspaper. Would I have liked to chase him? Sure, but he wasn’t that kind of guy. Everybody’s different—him, me, Wendy. I’m disappointed, but not defeated. I’m sure there’s another brilliant idea headed my way, although it may be approaching slowly and from a long way off. Rick Epstein can be reached at rickepstein@ yahoo.com.

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The Theology of the Drips By Laurie Neill At First Lutheran Church, we recently remodeled our education rooms. Workers transformed nine classrooms on the third floor for our little ones. The dull, tan paint was covered with bright, fun colors. Old and outdated chalkboards were torn out of the walls (literally!) and the kids are enjoying shiny new whiteboards. Old and worn carpet is now fresh and colorful. It is a blessed change of environment. The space, once institutional in feel, is now warm and welcoming to the kids and parents who come to hear about God’s love. A big part of this renovation of the preschool wing was a mural that graces the walls on all sides of the hallway. It is a beautiful depiction of creation, starting with the words, “In the beginning” and walking through the wonderful things God created on each day. The mural (pictured on these two pages) wraps around the rooms and ends, ironically, at the end of the hall where the rest rooms are. We joke about how that is so appropriate, because on the seventh day, what did God do? He rested, and that is why we have the “rest rooms.” All joking aside, the kids are drawn to the bright colors and whimsical ways in which God’s creation has been depicted by local artist Karin Larson, who spent her summer painting the mural. One thing that seems a little odd when you look at this beautiful mural is that there are drips. In many places, the paint has run down the wall, and even though the mural is finished, these drips have not been covered up or corrected. Why, you

14 December/January 2013

may ask, would we go to all of the time and effort to create this beautiful work of art and leave the drips? Is it a mistake? Did we run out of time? What we came to realize is that there is a theology behind the drips. If we look back to Genesis, we read the creation story and how God declared his handiwork, “Good.” As God’s word spoke a whole new world into existence, we read over and over again, “…and God saw that it was good.” And last but not least, God created humankind—the crown of creation. We are told to be stewards of this new world which, when God surveyed all that had been done, he declared to be, “Very good.” So here we are, God’s masterpiece! And it is this masterpiece that is represented in the beautiful new mural in the preschool wing of First Lutheran Church—with all of its drips and smudges. Truth be told, we left the drips to remind us of our frailties. Sure, God made us “very good,” but he also made us with free will. We have the ability to choose, and we chose to do what God asked us not to do, and so we have drips. They are a reminder that we have all let our paint run a bit. We’ve all been smudged here and there. Nobody’s life is a perfect painting. Nobody has a life where everything is colored inside the lines. But the good news is that it doesn’t matter how drippy or smudged our life is—God loves us anyway. As the artist, Larson says she loves the drips. “I see beauty in the drips,” she says, “because I see beauty in our humanity.” But I have a secret to confess. The drips really bother me.

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(3-year-old to 4th grade) 10 A.M. Sundays or 6 P.M. Wednesdays

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Every time I walk into the hallway and see them, my first instinct is to find a bit of paint and cover them up. It would be so easy—it wouldn’t take me long at all to just do a little touch up here and there. Then everything would look neat and tidy and in its place. Perhaps that says something about me. I don’t like to know that my “drips” are showing. I would like everyone to think that I have it all together. I would rather people not know that I occasionally lose my temper and yell at my children. Or that jealousy rears its ugly head in my life more than I like to admit. Or that sometimes people just downright irritate me. The mural reminds me that I often fall short of the life that I want to live. And I think if the truth be told, we all find ourselves doing things we would rather not do. The Apostle Paul talks about this in Romans 12:18: “I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.” (The Message) But here’s the good news. God loves us just as we are—drips and all. When we yield to the grace of God that covers our drips, it doesn’t make us perfect, but it makes us loved and forgiven. Laurie Neill is the Family Life Pastor at First Lutheran Church

“In Touch” is brought to you by First Lutheran Church, Downtown Fargo.

(5th-6th grade) 6 P.M. Wednesdays family

(7th-9th grade) 6 P.M. Wednesdays villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2013 15

YOUR FAMILY z do-it-together

By Laura Amann

he holiday entertaining season is upon us. Families and friends seem to make an extra effort this time of year to share a meal together. Take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s company and make a resolution in the coming year to eat with your kids more often. Studies abound that support the value of parents sitting down to eat a meal with their children. When families gather around the dinner table, grades go up, kids are better adjusted, are less likely to be depressed, and are less likely to do drugs, drink alcohol, or have sex. A casual conversation across an open pizza box isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too difficult to arrange and qualifies as dinner with your kids. But consider occasionally having a more formal family meal and let the kids help bring it all together. It starts with teaching them how to set the table. Kids as young as age 5 can help you set the table. By age 7, they should know how to properly set the table. If itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been a while since you broke out the plates and flatware to dine, here are some cute tricks to help everyone learn the proper technique.

16 December/January 2013

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• L earn left from right: Forks go to the left of the plate—the word “fork” has four letters, as does the word “left.” Therefore, Left=Fork. Knife and spoon go to the right of the plate—“knife” and “spoon” each have five letters; the word “right” has five letters. Right=Spoon, Right=Knife.

• I t’s “okay” to go here: Here’s a trick from Emily Post, the famous doyenne of manners. Make two “OK” symbols with your hands—thumb and pointer touching, other three above. The left hand looks like a little “b,” so put the bread (b) plate on the left. The right hand looks like a little “d” which is short for drink, so put the glass to the right.

• F irst, do no harm: Knives go immediately next to the

plate; the spoon protects the knife from doing any mischief. The knife is safely wedged in, with the cutting edge placed towards the plate, away from the spoon.

• N o loneliness here: Napkins go with the forks to keep the forks from getting

lonely since the spoon and the knife get to hang out together. Napkins can go next to the fork, under the fork, or even on top of the plate.

This is a breakdown of placement for a basic table setting. More formal meals with multiple courses require more implements, but they are all just an expansion from this basic layout. Additional utensils are placed in order of use, beginning from the outside. So, if you’ll be having a salad and dessert, for instance, the salad fork would be on the outside, left of the plate, then the dinner fork, then the dessert fork. Similarly, for a soup course, the soup spoon would go on the outside of the spoon and knife on the right side of the plate. The main plate of each setting should be about two inches from the table’s edge and centered directly in front of the chair. All the flatware is then evenly spaced around the plate.

family

Make setting the table fun as your kids are learning. Buy funky dinner napkins or let them choose a unique centerpiece for the table each night. Emily Post offers a terrific website for teaching manners to kids and her post on “How to set the table” is one of the most popular areas on that site. Check out http:// www.etipedia.net/home-and-family-life/children-andteens/426-printable-placemat-for-learning-how-to-setthe-table for a printable placemat guide. Teach the kids table-setting techniques now, and while you’re busy preparing the joyful feast this holiday season, you can put the kids in charge of setting the dinner table.

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December/January 2013 17

Juri

For , the big letter on the box is a good start. But sometimes she wants to know more about the games Sean and Maia want to play. And now she can, right from her phone, right from the store. You can do the same thing with ESRBâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free mobile app. Learn more at ESRB.org/mobile.

Lakeside, CA

18 December/January 2013

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YOUTH ISSUES

ESTATE PLANNING

Licensed Psychologist Benson Psychological Services

Development Officer The Village Family Service Center

Janet Zinke

Dr. Eileen Stone

Q: A:

How can I support my child during difficult times (death, illness, divorce, moving, etc.)?

Children deserve honesty at an age-appropriate level even when that information may be hard to give. When you give children the truthful facts, even when the content is difficult or sad, they will build trust and comfort in what you say. Try not to use words that can be confused with everyday life, like “sleeping” for death, as that is misleading and increases anxiety. Listen to children’s thoughts and concerns, knowing that it is OK to tell them you do not know an answer to one of their questions. Keep children’s routines as normal as possible, since routines help kids feel that their situation is still under control. Watch for changes in personality and behavior, as these can be signs of poor coping. Finally, make every effort to reassure them that through whatever hardship they are experiencing, they will be loved and have their needs met.

Benson Psychological Services 1308 23rd St. S., Suite G, Fargo, ND 701-297-7540

BPS

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reviewing my estate, my wife and I feel we Q:After may have more life insurance than our family will need. Is there a way to use my life insurance to

make a charitable gift? Life insurance is an excellent tool for making a charitable gift. The original purpose for purchasing life insurance is to provide financial security for your family. In many cases, we don’t need as much life insurance as we age. When you no longer need the safety net of life insurance, you can redirect it to support a worthwhile cause. One option is simply to name a charity as a beneficiary, while you retain ownership of the plan. This allows you to give a sizeable end of life gift by just continuing to pay your monthly premium. Another option for some types of policies (like whole life) is to assign ownership of the policy to the charity. Doing this allows you to take a current tax deduction. Either option can be put into effect with a simple call to your insurance agent, and incurs no fee. If you have any questions, call me at 701-451-5036.

The Village Family Service Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo 701-451-4900 www.TheVillageFamily.org

ANXIETY

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Q: A:

I am uncomfortable talking to people, and it is causing trouble in school and at work. What can I do?

You are experiencing Social Anxiety. It is very common and is often accompanied by another mental health concern; depression is a common one. You are likely thinking thoughts like, “They are looking at me and judging me,” or “I wish I was more intelligent so I wouldn’t sound so stupid.” It takes baby steps and lots of practice to gain self-worth. Start with something small. For example, ask a stranger in the grocery store if they know where to find a certain item. You might even start a conversation about what you are making with that item. This is good practice because you don’t know them and are less likely to care what they think of you. Also, try to spend at least one hour per day listening to the news. Knowing what is going on will give you things to talk about.

ShareHouse, Inc. 701-282-6561 www.ShareHouse.org

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Kimberlee Toll

Q: A:

What is Homebound Hair? What services do you offer and do I qualify for this?

If you or someone you know is unable to get to a salon because of medical or other conditions, I am here for you. Look good, feel good—right? I started Hair…I Go! in October 2011 and offer haircuts, shampooing, styling, manicures, and many other services right in your home. Hair…I Go! means you and your loved ones don’t have to venture out to a salon, I will come to you. Currently, my services are only available in North Dakota. So avoid the hassles of winter driving or wet and windy weather. Call today to schedule your appointment!

Hair...I Go! Homebound Hair 701-866-9702 kssell@cableone.net

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December/January 2013 19

YOUR FAMILY spiritual

By Laurie Neill

This year, for eight nights starting December 8, Courtney Taylor of Fargo will light the candles of her menorah and feel connected to 2,100 years of tradition. That is because sunset on December 8 marks the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. “Lighting the menorah,” she says, “means providing spiritual light in the physical world.” 20 December/January 2013

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The story of how the menorah came to be a central figure in the observance of Hanukkah is rich and steeped in drama. Its origin goes all the way back to the book of Exodus in the Bible. God instructed Moses to have the people of Israel create a lamp stand of “hammered work” for the tabernacle. God further instructed that it should hold seven oil candles, with three branches on each side of a center cup. When the permanent Jewish Temple was established in Jerusalem in the tenth century, this lamp stand, called the menorah, became a permanent and essential implement of the Temple. It was to be fuelled with pure olive oil and burned continually.

“Even when times are hard,

Jewish people stick to their traditional beliefs.

”

The Menorah Miracle of Hanukkah Fast forward a few hundred years to second century b.c.e. (Before Common Era). The Greeks lived in Israel and a tremendous clash of cultures took place. According to Rabbi Benjamin Blech in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Judaism, “Hellenism [the Greek culture] worshipped the holiness of beauty; Judaism worshipped the beauty of holiness.” A battle raged for the heart of the Jews and many succumbed to the Greek lifestyle. Eventually, the King of Syria, who ruled over the Syrian-Greek Empire, ordered all people to become Greek in religion and culture in order to unify his kingdom. He outlawed Judaism and desecrated the Jewish Temple by putting a statue of Zeus at its center and sacrificing a pig on the altar. This non-kosher animal further intensified the act of desecration. That was too much for one Jewish priest named Mattathias. He and his sons—known as the Maccabees—led a revolt against the defilers. A war raged for nine years until the Syrians were defeated and the Jews were able to return to their Temple. They removed the idols and rededicated it to their God. Part of the rededication involved restoring and relighting the beloved menorah. However, since it was decreed that only pure olive oil could be burned in the menorah, the people found themselves in a predicament. They only had enough oil for one day and it would take eight days to get more. According to the Jewish tradition, they trusted God to provide and lit the menorah anyway. The oil that should only have lasted one day, instead lasted eight. In order to remember this miracle of God and the reclaiming of the Temple, the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah, which means “rededication,” was established.

Not a Jewish Christmas For Judaism, Hanukkah ranks fairly low in religious significance, but it is still an important reminder of God’s providence in the lives of the Jewish people. Blech says, “Just as the oil lasted much longer than it should have by way of a miracle, so too did they [the Jewish people] survive and succeed against impossible odds because God was with them.” family

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December/January 2013 21

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Come help us find out! The Language Lab at NDSU is looking for study participants who are 2-5 years old. Each study involves one visit to our lab, scheduled at your convenience. All participants will receive a small gift to thank them for their help.

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22 December/January 2013

The dreidel is also a part of the Hanukkah celebration. This four-sided spinning top is a common symbol reflecting perseverance.

Hebrew letters on the dreidel that form an acronym for nes gadol hayah sham— “a great miracle happened there.” Because Hanukkah tends to be celebrated around the same time as Christmas, it may be considered by some to be a type of Jewish Christmas. Hanukkah begins sometime in late November or December, depending on when the 25th day of the month of Kislev occurs. Kislev is the name of the ninth month of the Jewish calendar. But the Jewish year is not the same length as a solar year on Gregorian (or western) calendars, so the date Hanukkah begins, always the 25th of Kislev, changes from year to year on the western calendar. Some Jews believe that Hanukkah’s proximity to Christmas puts it in danger of becoming over-commercialized, which is ironic since, according to Blech, “The major message of Hanukkah is that Jews shouldn’t assimilate or imitate the religious practices of their neighbors.” Taylor says, “I agree that Hanukkah is not a major Jewish holiday because it is not mentioned in the Torah [the first five books of the Old Testament and Judaism’s most important text]. However, I believe the reason it gets the villagefamilymag.org

attention it does is because the holiday’s rabbinical stories are easy for children to understand and celebrate. The reformed emphasis on presents may be associated with Christmas, but saying prayers over candles is dictated by tradition, not popular culture.” For Taylor, the main message of Hanukkah is faith. “Even when times are hard, Jewish people stick to their traditional beliefs. They have overcome oppression time and time again by remaining loyal to their historic beliefs and prayers.”

The Observance Hanukkah is observed in the home over an eight-day period. At the heart of the observance is the lighting of the candles each evening, one candle for each night of the festival. The candelabrum used is typically called the menorah, however, the correct name is the chanukia, because it has nine branches instead of seven. The seven-branched menorah can only family

Proof Stamp

“

Date: ____

Lighting the menorah means providing OK__ Changes__ spiritual light in the physical world.

be found in Jewish Temples because Jewish law forbids the reproduction of the Temple implements. In the chanukia, the cup in the middle is taller than the others and is called the shamash, which means “attendant.” It is used to light the other eight candles. Modern menorahs come in many artistic forms and the shamash may not always be the center candle, but it should always be the tallest. Taylor’s earliest memory of Hanukkah was participating in a holiday skit in a preschool at her synagogue. “I served as one of the shamash candles,” she says, “to light the other student’s candles, singing Hanukkah songs all the while.” The Hanukkah candles are lit immediately after dark, with the exception of Friday night, when they are lit before the Shabbat (Sabbath) candles. The candles are placed in their holders from right to left, starting with just one candle plus the shamash on the first night and adding an additional candle each night. They are lit from left to right, so that the latest addition is lit first. According to tradition, the candles should burn for at least half an hour and be placed on a windowsill or by a door so they can be seen from outside the house. After the shamash has been lit and while lighting the other candle(s), blessings and thanksgivings are said to God for the sanctification of his people and for the many wonders he has performed on their

behalf. It is also customary for children to get small gifts of money. Like many Jewish holidays, Hanukkah has accompanying food traditions. Fried foods like sufganiyot (jelly-filled doughnuts) and latkes (potato pancakes) are especially popular, as are oily foods. Taylor’s family selects at least one night to prepare a feast with brisket and potato latkes. “The latkes are devoured with applesauce and sour cream.” The dreidel is also a part of the Hanukkah celebration. This four-sided spinning top is a common symbol reflecting perseverance. The spinning toy has four sides with Hebrew letters that form an acronym for nes gadol hayah sham—“a great miracle happened there.” In Israel, the tops have one different letter so that the phrase reads, “a great miracle happened here.” The Hanukkah story is a tradition-rich tale of perseverance, faith, and dedication. People around the globe honor eight nights each year with latkes, Hebrew dreidels, and most importantly, lighted menorahs. Taylor recommends visiting sites like www.jewfaq.org for more information about Jewish symbols, or www.tbefargo. org for local holiday events. Laurie Neill lives in Moorhead with her husband and sons. She would like to wish our Jewish readers Hanukkah Sameach (Happy Hanukkah)!

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December/January 2013 23

Calendar of Events

To include your event in our family-friendly calendar, email shendricksen@TheVillageFamily.org. Deadline for February/March is December 28, 2012. Although we strive to be as accurate as possible, please call ahead to verify information, registration requirements, or event fees. Due to limited space, we are unable to include all submissions.

Santa Sightings! A red Santa next to the event means Santa is scheduled to be there.

DECEMBER 2012 EVENTS 12.1 Saturday • Jingle Bell Run/Walk 5K for Arthritis. Registration begins at 8 a.m., run/walk at 9 a.m., Courts Plus, 3491 University Dr. S., Fargo. Call 701-388-1988 or visit www. arthritis.org/JingleBellRun to register Storybook Breakfast. Presented by West Fargo High School Theatre. Breakfast, games, crafts, storytime, and photos with storybook characters and Santa. Tickets available at the door. 9 a.m.-noon, West Fargo High School Commons, 801 9th St. E., West Fargo, 701-499-1834 or www. westfargotheatre.com Gingerbread & Jingle Bells. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., visit Santa from 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

24 December/January 2013

• Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com Jaws, Paws & Lunch with Santa Claus. Animal encounters, carousel rides, and lunch with Santa. Space is limited; registration required. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org Santa Fly-In. Watch Santa fly in to visit with kids at the museum. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org. See ad page 31 • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Visit animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 or www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 Christmas on the Prairie. Cookie decorating, carolers, carriage rides, and photos with Santa. 1-7 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-2822822 or www.bonanzaville.com • Saturday Fun Night. Grades K-6. Registration required. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 or www. ymcacassclay.org/funnights • Christmas with the Jubliee County PTA. 6 p.m., Speedway Event Center, 680 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, www.acappellaxpress. com • FM Opera Snowball Gala. 6 p.m., Hilton Garden Inn, 4351 17th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org. See ad page 26 • FM Derby Girls Bout. A portion of proceeds will go to the FirstLink Giving Tree program. 7 p.m., Fargo Civic Center, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, www.fmderbygirls.com • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com • Hot Club San Francisco. Gypsy-jazz ensemble. 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate. edu/perform

villagefamilymag.org

Hot Club San Francisco

12.2 Sunday • Fargo-Moorhead Community Theatre Performances. In-store performances highlighting FMCT’s upcoming shows. Visit the store or www.bn.com for times. Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Red River Valley History Part 1. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-7 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • Chamber Music Series: Holiday Brass. 2 p.m., First Presbyterian Church, 650 2nd Ave. N., Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www. fmsymphony.org • MSUM Wind Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-4772103 12.3 Monday • Holiday Concert Series: Clarion Quartet. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org • Echo Band Concert. 8 p.m., Buxton/ Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.4 Tuesday • Holiday Concert Series: Dakota Rose String Quartet. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org • Jazz Ensemble Concert. 7:30 p.m., Buxton/Hanson Hall, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.5 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • March of Dimes’ Bowls for Babies. Enjoy soup from your favorite restaurants and choose a bowl designed by local artists. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Ramada Plaza & Suites, 1635 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-235-5530 or www.marchofdimes.com/ northdakota

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• Holiday Concert Series: Darin Henze. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • “Beauty & The Beast.” 7:30 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 12.6 Thursday • Health, Tech & Trades Career Expo. High school career fair. 8:30 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Bethany Silent Auction & Food Fest. 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Bethany Retirement Living, 201 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-239-3000 • Holiday Concert Series: Marjorie Schlossman & Margie Bailey. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32

S anta Fly-In. Watch Santa fly in to visit with kids at the museum. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org. See ad page 31 • Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Holiday Open House. Free museum admission. 1-3 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline.org • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or

cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • The Nutcracker & Holiday Show. Presented by Bonnie Haney School of Dance. Call 218-236-9900, 701-232-9900, or visit www.bonniehaneydance.com for ticket information. 2 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead • 86th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 2 p.m. & 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515

12.7 Friday Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • 86th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-2994515 • The Nutcracker & Holiday Show. Presented by Bonnie Haney School of Dance. Call 218-236-9900, 701-232-9900, or visit www.bonniehaneydance.com for ticket information. 7 p.m., Moorhead High School Auditorium, 2300 4th Ave. S., Moorhead • Parents’ Night Out Open Gym. Ages 5-14. Special guests and performance by Concordia Dance Team. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.8 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com Jaws, Paws & Lunch with Santa Claus. Animal encounters, carousel rides, and lunch with Santa. Space is limited; registration required. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org

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December/January 2013 25

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12.8 Saturday (cont.) • Red River Valley Academy Holiday Performances. Toddlers-6th graders perform songs, readings, and poems. 4 p.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Extreme Night. Grades K-6. 7-10 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 or www. ymcacassclay.org/extreme • Fargo Force vs. Sioux City Musketeers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www. fargoforce.com • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.9 Sunday • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Red River Valley History Part 2. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32

•8 6th Annual Concordia Christmas Concert. 2 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-2994515 • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.10 Monday •H oliday Concert Series: Silver Winds. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org •P ercussion Ensemble Concert. 8 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 12.11 Tuesday •H oliday Concert Series: Magda Fitterer. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org 12.12 Wednesday •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com •H oliday Concert Series: Sarah Morrau & Bekka DeVries. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-2323821 or www.plainsart.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32

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12.13 Thursday • Holiday Concert Series: Christian Heaford. Noon, Plains Art Museum, 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www. plainsart.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.14 Friday Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • The Classic Nutcracker. Presented by Gasper’s School of Dance and Performing Arts. 7 p.m., NDSU Fine Arts Center, Fargo, 701-234-9440 • Holiday Pops Family Concert: A Celtic Holiday. Featuring special guest Poitin. 7 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony. org • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org

12.15 Saturday • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Red River Dance & Performing Company Holiday Show & Cookie Walk. 11 a.m. & 1:30 p.m., Shanley High School, 5600 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-280-0004 S anta Fly-In. Watch Santa fly in to visit with kids at the museum. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www. fargoairmuseum.org. See ad page 31 • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Visit animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 or www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com • Holiday Pops Family Concert: A Celtic Holiday. Featuring special guest Poitin. 2 p.m., Fargo Theatre, 314 Broadway, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony. org

• The Classic Nutcracker. Presented by Gasper’s School of Dance and Performing Arts. 2 p.m. & 7 p.m., NDSU Fine Arts Center, Fargo, 701-234-9440 • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 12.16 Sunday Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www. fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 • “It’s a Wonderful Life.” 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org S kating with Santa. Skate to Christmas music with Santa. 7-8:30 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 12.19 Wednesday • FirstLink Giving Tree of Hope. Gift distribution for children 0-18 years and special needs adults. Please bring Social Security cards for yourself and each of your children and a photo ID. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Fargo Civic Center Auditorium, 207 4th St. N., Fargo, 701-293-6462 • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

The Village Counselors are here to help. In-office counseling available for individuals, couples, parents, and children. Online counseling also available.

1201 25th St. S., Fargo • 701-451-4900 1401 8th St. S., Moorhead • 701-451-4811 www.TheVillageFamily.org

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12.19 Wednesday (cont.) Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 12.20 Thursday Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 12.21 Friday Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 4-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 Merry Christmas Open Gym. Ages 5-14. Special guest Santa Claus. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-365-8868 • Fargo Force vs. Cedar Rapids RoughRiders. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce. com 12.22 Saturday • YMCA Trek: Call of the Wild Fitness Challenge Registration. Stay active this winter and win prizes! Pick up your packet today through Jan. 10 at either YMCA location. Fitness challenge begins Jan. 11. Visit www.ymcacassclay.org/trek for more information • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com Santa Fly-In. Watch Santa fly in to visit with kids at the museum. Noon-2 p.m., Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or www.fargoairmuseum.org. See ad page 31 Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com. See ad page 32

Sleigh Rides

December 27 - 30 | 1:00 - 4:00 pm MB Johnson Park | $4 per rider No reservations needed Cookies and Cocoa for sale 218.299.5340 cityofmoorhead.com/parks 28 December/January 2013

• Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 12.23 Sunday • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Lincoln Legacy. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org Santa Village. Free admission with donation of canned goods, new toys, or cash. 1-8 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com. See ad page 32 12.26 Wednesday • School’s Out Day Camp. Ages 5-12. Call 701-365-8868 for details and to sign up. TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo • Winter Adventure Days. Kids can participate in sledding, crafts, swimming, and more. Call Dee at 701-364-4153 for information. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Family First Week. Free admission for grandparents. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Red River Dance & Performing Company Talent Show. Family, friends, and dancers will perform a variety of talents to raise money for new studio flooring. 2 p.m., Shanley High School, 5600 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-280-0004 12.27 Thursday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call 701-365-8868 for details and to sign up. TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo • Winter Adventure Days. Kids can participate in sledding, crafts, swimming, and more. Call Dee at 701-364-4153 for information. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Family First Week. Free admission for moms. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Sleigh Rides. Hosted by Moorhead Parks and Recreation. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks. See ad this page 12.28 Friday • School’s Out Day Camp. Call 701-365-8868 for details and to sign up. TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo • Winter Adventure Days. Kids can participate in sledding, crafts, swimming, and more. Call Dee at 701-364-4153 for information. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Rumble on the Red Wrestling Tournament. 10 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Family First Week. Free admission for grandparents. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Sleigh Rides. Hosted by Moorhead Parks and Recreation. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www.cityofmoorhead.com/parks. See ad this page • Fargo Force vs. Sioux Falls Stampede. Kids Rule Night! Visit any Stop-N-Go location for a free kids ticket voucher. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www. fargoforce.com 12.29 Saturday • Rumble on the Red Wrestling Tournament. 9 a.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Family First Week. Free admission for dads. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

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• Sleigh Rides. Hosted by Moorhead Parks and Recreation. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www. cityofmoorhead.com/parks. See ad page 28 • Fargo Force vs. Des Moines Buccaneers. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 12.30 Sunday • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Theodore Roosevelt. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www.hcscconline. org • Sleigh Rides. Hosted by Moorhead Parks and Recreation. 1-4 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 11th St. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 or www. cityofmoorhead.com/parks. See ad page 28 • Family First Week. Free admission for kids. 1-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org

Ohana Ono Cookies

START A NEW HOLIDAY TRADITION WITH



12.31 Monday • Family First Week. Bring a friend for free. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseumyunker.org • Fargo Force vs. Dubuque Fighting Saints. 6:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com

½ cup (1 stick) butter, softened  1 cup plus 2 tablespoons packed brown sugar  1 cup granulated sugar  1 jar (15 ounces) soynut butter  3 eggs  1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract  4 1/2 cups old fashioned oats  2 teaspoons baking soda  1/4 teaspoon salt  1 cup chopped macadamia nuts  1 cup chocolate covered soy nuts (optional)  Preheat oven to 350° F. Lightly grease several cookie sheets and set aside In large mixing bowl, cream butter and sugars at medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 30 seconds. Add soynut butter, eggs and vanilla and beat until well blended. Add oats, soda and salt and mix. Stir in nuts (dough will be stiff). Form cookies by packing dough into ¼ cup measure and then dropping 4 inches apart on prepared cookie sheet. Lightly press each cookie with bottom of glass or measuring cup to form a 3 ½-inch diameter circle. Bake until center of cookies is just slightly soft, about 12 to 15 minutes. Let stand 1 minute and then transfer to cooling racks. Makes 30 cookies. RECIPE & PHOTO COURTESY OF THE SOYFOODS COUNCIL

For more information on soyfoods or FREE recipes Phone: (888) 469-6409 www.ndsoybean.org

The Red River Zoo is a great place to visit in the winter! We feature some of the world’s rarest cold climate species, so our animals are very active during the winter months! We are open 10 am to 5 pm every weekend. Bring in this ad for a FREE CHILDREN’S ADMISSION WITH A PAYING ADULT.

Coupon good December, January, and February only.

family

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December/January 2013 29

Warm Up with Thoughts of Your New Home

1.6 Sunday • Sesame Street Live “Elmo’s Super Heroes!” 1 p.m. & 4:30 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com. See ad page 32 • “New Year’s Musical Review.” 2 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 1.9 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.10 Thursday • “The Face on the Barroom Floor.” A short wild-west cabaret opera that uses the bar as the set. Families are welcome to bring their children. Limited seats; please reserve tickets at 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org. 7:30 p.m., HoDo Lounge, 101 Broadway, Fargo 1.11 Friday • “The Face on the Barroom Floor.” A short wild-west cabaret opera that uses the bar as the set. Families are welcome to bring their children. Limited seats; please reserve tickets at 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org. 7:30 p.m., HoDo Lounge, 101 Broadway, Fargo

www.Eid-Co.com Ph: 701-237-0510

Home Style Variations starting at $137,000

Dream. Design. Discover eiD-co Homes JANUARY 2013 EVENTS 1.2 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.3 Thursday • Harlem Globetrotters. 7 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 1.4 Friday • Sesame Street Live “Elmo’s Super Heroes!” 7 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com. See ad page 32 • “New Year’s Musical Review.” 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org 1.5 Saturday • Sesame Street Live “Elmo’s Super Heroes!” 10:30 a.m. & 2 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com. See ad page 32 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Visit animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-2325856 or www.adoptapetfm.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue “Meet the Dogs.” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-205-0190 or www.4luvofdog.org • “New Year’s Musical Review.” 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., The Stage at Island Park, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-6778 or www.fmct.org • Saturday Fun Night. Grades K-6. Registration required. 4:30-9:30 p.m., Schlossman YMCA, 4243 19th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-293-9622 or www.ymcacassclay.org/funnights

30 December/January 2013

1.12 Saturday • Jazz Day. All day, Hvidsten Hall of Music, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 • Cross Country Ski Race. 9 a.m.-noon, Edgewood Chalet, 19 Golf Course Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • Fargo Frag Swap. Whether you have a saltwater reef aquarium or are interested in the hobby, see local and national vendors carrying corals, fish, and equipment. Visit http://redrivervalleyreefers.com for details. Noon-5 p.m., Paradox Event Center, 26 Roberts St., Fargo • Awesome Art Afternoon. 1-3 p.m., RDJ Rec Center, 1104 2nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Family Winter-ific Day. 1-4 p.m., Edgewood Chalet, 19 Golf Course Ave. N., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com • “The Face on the Barroom Floor.” A short wild-west cabaret opera that uses the bar as the set. Families are welcome to bring their children. Limited seats; please reserve tickets at 701-239-4558 or www.fmopera.org. 7:30 p.m., HoDo Lounge, 101 Broadway, Fargo 1.13 Sunday • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Red River Aviators. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org 1.16 Wednesday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • “A Chorus Line.” 7:30 p.m., Gate City Bank Theatre, Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com 1.17 Thursday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org 1.18 Friday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:35 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com 1.19 Saturday • Snowflakes & Cupcakes. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm, 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www. childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

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• FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. Visit animals available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-2325856 or www.adoptapetfm.org • YMCA Ice Fishing Tournament. Indoor family event with casting contests, door prizes, and food. Call Dave at 701-364-4116 for more information. 1-3 p.m., Fercho YMCA, 400 1st Ave. S., Fargo • Winter Days Party. Sleigh rides, inflatable games, face painting, and more. 1-3:30 p.m., Cheney Middle School, 825 17th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Fargo Force vs. Tri-City Storm. 7:05 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-3672 or www.fargoforce.com • FM Symphony Orchestra Masterworks Concert. 8 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org 1.20 Sunday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Clay County History. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org • FM Symphony Orchestra Masterworks Concert. 2 p.m., Festival Concert Hall, NDSU, Fargo, 701-478-3676 or www.fmsymphony.org 1.21 Monday • School’s Out Day Camp. Ages 5-12. Call 701-365-8868 for details and to sign up. TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo • Winter Days Polar Bear Pool Party. 1:30-3:30 p.m., L.E. Berger Pool, 631 4th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks. org • Hockeyfest. 1-5 p.m., Scheels Arena, 5225 31st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or www.fargoparks.com 1.23 Wednesday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com 1.24 Thursday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Nonprofit Opportunity Fair. Linking students with potential volunteer, internship, and other nonprofit opportunities. 8 a.m.-3:30 p.m., Memorial Union, NDSU, Fargo, 701-293-6462 or www. myfirstlink.org • Admissions Scholarship Concert. 7 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4515 1.25 Friday • West Fargo Parks Winter Days. 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. Noon-9 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Open Gym. Ages 5-14. Special guests NDSU Volleyball Team. 7-8:30 p.m., TNT Kids Fitness, 2800 Main Ave., Fargo, 701-3658868 • Performing Arts Series: Cantus. 7:30 p.m., Memorial Auditorium, Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-299-4366 1.26 Saturday • Fishing for a Cure. Multi-lake ice fishing tournament to benefit Roger Maris Cancer Center. Email fishingforacure@yahoo.com for information 1.26 Saturday • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-241-9100 or www.fargodome.com • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com • 21st Annual Snow Golf Tournament. 11 a.m.-2 p.m., North Elmwood Park, 500 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org

family

Because All Great Spuds Start Somewhere Call or go online for a list of classes. 218-284-3400 https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us A Community Education Program of the Moorhead Area Public Schools

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PUBLIC LIBRARIES

1.26 Saturday (cont.) • Winter Days Chili Cookoff & Salsa Contest. Registration at 3-4 p.m., judging begins at 4 p.m., VFW Post 7564, 308 Sheyenne St., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or www.wfparks.org • Luminary Night Ski. Skiers, snowshoers, and hikers of all ages and abilities are welcome to enjoy candle-lit trails. Call 218-4982124 for details. 6-9 p.m., Buffalo River State Park, Glyndon

Call or visit the library for more information. Pre-registration may be required. Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1472 or www.fargolibrary.org • Fargo Force Visits the Library. Hear stories, meet Fargo Force players, and make a small craft. Dec. 4 & Jan. 15, 6:30 p.m. • Teen Crafts. Registration required. Dec. 6 & 20, Jan. 31, 4 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Dec. 6 & 20, Jan. 3, 6:30 p.m. • Happy Holidays Storytime. A multicultural look at winter holidays through stories, songs, and a craft. Open to school aged children, geared towards grades K-3. Dec. 11, 6 p.m. • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Dec. 15 & Jan. 19, 10 a.m. • Paws for Reading. Kids in grades K-6 can sign up to read to a therapy pet. Registration required. Dec. 15 & Jan. 19, 1 p.m. • Lemony Snicket Book Club. Grades 3-6. Dec. 18 & Jan. 15, 6:30 p.m. • LEGO Mania. Annual LEGO design contest for kids 12 and under. Registration required. Dec. 27, 2 p.m. • Computer Classes. Call for details

1.27 Sunday • RRV Boat & Marine Products Show. 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Fargodome, 1800 N. University Dr., Fargo, 701-2419100 or www.fargodome.com • History Sundays with Steve Stark: Women of Influence. Like a storybook unfolding before your eyes, Steve Stark’s speed drawing and storytelling will entertain the whole family. 1 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or www. hcscconline.org 1.29 Tuesday • Cares for Kids Dine to Donate. Select restaurants will donate a percentage of sales to Children’s Miracle Network benefiting Sanford Children’s Hospital. Visit www.caresforkids.sanfordhealth. org for participating restaurants 1.30 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes & Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or www.bn.com

Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or www.fargolibrary.org • Tea Time Book Club. Dec. 2, 2:30 p.m. • Holiday Apron Craft Workshop. Registration required. Dec. 3, 4-6 p.m. • Teen Crafts. Registration required. Dec. 4 & 18, Jan. 29, 4 p.m. • Baby Rhyme Time. Lapsit storytime for babies, birth-18 mos. Dec. 6 & 20, Jan 3,10 a.m. • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Dec. 8 & Jan. 12, 10 a.m.

1.31 Thursday • Midwinter Piano Festival. Concordia College, Moorhead, 218-2994414 • Daniel Bernard Roumain & DJ Scientific. 7:30 p.m., Gaede Stage, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or www.mnstate.edu/perform

On Sale nOw!

Santa Village November 24-December 23 Rheault Farm 2902 25 St. S., Fargo

January 4-6

Tickets: FARgoDoMe Box office 855-694-6367 INFoRUMTIX.com

Free Admission We encourage non-perishable foods, new or gently used toys or monetary donations which are distributed back to the community.

Visit Santa, See Live Reindeer, Decorate a cookie with Mrs. Claus, Make Holiday Crafts, Take a Horse Drawn Ride

Nov 24-25 Dec 1-2 Dec 5-7 Dec 8-9

1-7 pm 1-7 pm 4-8 pm 1-8 pm

Dec 12-14 Dec 15-16 Dec 19-21 Dec 22-23

4-8 pm 1-8 pm 4-8 pm 1-8 pm

www.fargoparks.com • 499-7788

sesamestreetlive.com • Follow us on 32 December/January 2013

and villagefamilymag.org

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• Unraveled Crafters Club. Dec. 9 & 23, Jan. 13 & 27, 1 p.m. • Happy Holidays Storytime. A multicultural look at winter holidays through stories, songs, and a craft. Open to school aged children, geared towards grades K-3. Dec. 13, 6 p.m. • Free Friday Movies. Call for titles. Dec. 14 & Jan. 10, 1 p.m. • Magic Tree House Book Club. Grades 1-4. Registration required. Dec. 16 & Jan. 20, 2 p.m. • Teen Movie. Featuring “The Amazing Spider-Man.” Dec. 27, 2 p.m. • Computer Classes. Call for details Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or www.fargolibrary.org • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Dec. 1 & Jan. 5, 10 a.m. • Happy Holidays Storytime. A multicultural look at winter holidays through stories, songs, and a craft. Open to school aged children, geared towards grades K-3. Dec. 18, 6 p.m. • Northport Classic Book Club. Dec. 19 & Jan. 16, 6:30 p.m. West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or www.westfargolibrary.org • Mitten Tree. The public is encouraged to purchase mittens, hats, and scarves to be displayed on a holiday tree. Items will be donated after the season Santa Visits the Library. Story, craft, and visit with Santa. Dec. 1, 2-4 p.m. • Homework Center. Room is supervised, help is offered, and snack provided. 3-5:30 p.m., Monday through Thursday on days school is in session • Children’s Storytime. For preschoolers and their caretakers. Tuesdays, 10 a.m. & 1:30 p.m., Thursdays, 6:30 p.m. (No storytime Dec. 25 or Jan. 1) • Knitty Giddy. Adult group; bring your own supplies. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. (Excluding holidays) • Ham Radio Group. All adults welcome; children must attend with an adult. Wednesdays, 7 p.m. • Friday Morning Movies. For preschoolers and younger children and their caretakers. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Special Movie Releases. Saturdays, 2 p.m. • Hanukkah Festival of Fun. Open to all ages. Create a dreidel ornament, search for Hanukkah Gelt chocolate coins, and enjoy a story and music. Call or visit the library to reserve a spot. Dec. 8, 2:30-4 p.m. • 4th Annual Holiday Cookie Exchange. Open to all ages. Bring 3 dozen of your own holiday treats in a foil pan and exchange for 3 dozen others. Dec. 10, 6:30-8 p.m.

• Mitten Mystery. Open to all children. Story, scavenger hunt, and door prizes. Call to register. Dec. 13, 6:30-7:30 p.m. • Pick a Craft Thursday. Open to children through adults, while supplies last. Dec. 27, 3-4 p.m. • Hop ‘N’ Pop. Preschoolers and caretakers invited to dance on bubble wrap. Jan. 9, 11-11:30 a.m. • Winter Days: Sweet Dreams. Open to all ages. Decorate a pillowcase (provided). Supplies are limited; please pre-register. Jan 18, 4-5 p.m. • Winter Days: Fun in the Sand. Open to all ages. Color sand projects provided. Pre-register. Jan. 21, 7-8 p.m. • Winter Days Movie: “Miracle.” Jan. 26, 2 p.m. • Computer Sessions. Call for details Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or www.larl.org • Origami Club. Dec. 3 & Jan. 7, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m., Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Craft Time. Tuesdays following storytime • Baby Bounce. Thursdays, 10 a.m. • Classics Book Club. Dec. 11 & Jan. 15, 7 p.m. • Make it Yourself Series. Super elastic bubbles and foaming hand soap. Dec. 12, 7 p.m. • LEGO Club. Dec. 13 & Jan. 10, 6 p.m., Dec. 22 & Jan. 26, 2 p.m. • ‘Appy Hour. Dec. 13, 7 p.m. • Adult Book Discussion Group. Dec. 13 & Jan. 17, 7 p.m. • YELL in the Library. Teens: Play games, have snacks, volunteer, plan events, and more! Dec. 17 & Jan. 21, 7 p.m. • Blooming Prairie: Book Talk with Author Candace Simar. Jan. 17, 7 p.m. • Computer Classes & eReader Help Sessions. Call for details

CLASSES

Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. Alzheimer’s Association 701-277-9757 or www.alz.org/mnnd The Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or www.childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Super Science Sundays • Yunkie Club Early Childhood Family Education Probstfield Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S., Moorhead, 218-284-3400 or https:// communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us • Family Fun with Little Ones (Birth-3 yrs) • Make It, Take It: Kaleidoscopes (Birthkindergarten entry)

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December/January 2013 33

embrace Cancer Survivorship Education 701-234-7463 • How to Be an Empowered Patient • Preparing for the Final Journey Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or www.essentiahealth.org • Basic Training for New Dads • Birthing Center Tour • Breastfeeding Class • Car Seat Safety • Great Expectations • Infant Massage

• Lamaze • Mom’s Helpers • Tender Transitions FM Ambulance 701-364-1758 or www.fmambulance.com • First Aid • Heartsaver CPR/AED F/M Communiversity 218-299-3438 or www.fmcommuniversity.org Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or www.fargoparks.com • Accelerated Artists • Artmania • Create & Explore

•H oliday Fun •M r. Claus Class •M rs. Claus Class • Youth Snowmobile Safety Course FirstLink 701-293-6462 or www.myfirstlink.org Fraser, Ltd. 2902 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or www.fraserltd.org •A dult & Pediatric CPR/First Aid Girl Scouts Dakota Horizons 701-293-7915 or www.gsdakotahorizons. org. Non-members welcome •F ashionista (Grades K-3) •H oliday Showcase (Grades K-12) •M Edia! (Grades 4-10) Healing Arts Chiropractic 3240 15th St. S., Suite C, 701-451-9070 or www.healingartschiropractic.com • How to Stay Young the First 100 Years Hjemkomst Center 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 ext. 6738 •R ag Rug Workshop Hospice of the Red River Valley 800-237-4629 or www.hrrv.org/webinars •G rief & Loss Awareness Webinar Moorhead Community Education 218-284-3400 or https://communityed. moorhead.k12.us Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org • Art for Two •A rtful Yoga •K id Quest • Youth Art Experiences Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or www.ag.ndsu.edu/ casscountyextension/home-and-family •N urturing Parenting Program •P arents Forever Red River Zoo 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or www.redriverzoo.org •P int-size Explorers •Z ooVentures RSVP Bone Builders 701-231-9753 or Teresa.huff@ndsu.edu Sanford Health Community Education 1711 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or www.sanfordhealth.org •B aby Signs •B etter Choices, Better Health Workshop •B reastfeeding Beginnings •C ar Seat 101 •C aring for Your Newborn •C hild Passenger Safety Class (701-2347233) •F amily & Friends CPR

34 December/January 2013

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family

• The Boom: 1945-1960 in Clay County • The Hjemkomst Sagas: One Dream, A Viking Ship, Many Stories. Ends Dec. 30 • Prairie Daughters: The Art and Lives of Annie Stein and Orabel Thortvedt. Begins Jan. 22

• Heartsaver CPR for Day Care Providers • Infant Massage • Lamaze • Our Family is Having a Baby! • Safe & Sound – Preparing Your Home for Baby • Your Labor Experience – What to Expect

MSUM Art Gallery Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 701-388-6512 • BFA Student Exhibit #2. Dec. 10-20

U of M Extension 218-236-2005 • Parents Forever The Village Financial Resource Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-3328 or www.HelpWithMoney.org • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information.

Bonanzaville 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or www.bonanzaville. com • The Lincoln Effect: How the Presidency Changed the Man and the Land. Ends Jan. 6

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Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 • Faculty Art Exhibition. Begins Jan. 15

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MSUM Planetarium Bridges Hall, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2920 • Season of Light. Ends Dec. 23 • Larry Cat in Space • Red River Skies Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or www.plainsart.org • Our Treasures: Highlights from the Minnesota Museum of American Art. Ends Jan. 6 • Ice Music: Paul D. Miller/DJ Spooky. Ends Jan. 20 • Playful Pollinators. Ends Jan. 30 • No Lumps, Thank You: A Bra Anthology. Ends Jan. 31 • A Creative Life: Honoring Charles Beck • The Artist’s Studio: Robert Kurkowski • Creative Actions: Selections from the Permanent Collection The Rourke Art Museum & Gallery Museum: 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, Gallery: 523 S. 4th St., Moorhead, 218-236-8861 or www.therourke.org • Jonathan Rutter: Ghost Image. Dec. 14-Jan. 6 • Moritz Götze: Deutsche Kunst/German Art. Ends Jan. 20 • Carl Oltvedt: Observations. Begins Jan. 26

your assets? Who willprotecting guide you through?

Divorce

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Gestational Agreement

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December/January 2013 35

Getting Past Injury: Preparing Athletes for a Safe Return to Performance

Coming back from an injury is often no easy task for an athlete. Surgery and months of physical therapy can help rebuild a broken body. But athletes who want to get back to the fullest level of performance require something more before they get back on the field or court. That’s why Sanford POWER now offers Return to Performance, an innovative new program that helps bridge the gap from rehabilitation to a safe return to their sport. The program uses injury-specific training to help guarantee that athletes are not only ready to get back into the game, but also able to avoid re-injury, says Al Kraft, exercise physiologist. “To return to a sport safely, you need confidence and strength,” says Kraft. “From day one, we take a look at the movements that can cause injury and help the athlete to learn to move in ways that will reduce their risk in the future.”

Sport-specific training Kraft and his team use a collaborative approach, coordinating with physical therapists to take their recovery to the next level. An individualized program helps athletes improve their balance, coordination and strength while focusing on sport-specific tasks, such as running, jumping or throwing. Athletes go beyond just fitness and flexibility, working individually to both re-train muscles and to practice avoiding the types of movements specific to their sport that commonly lead to injury. “I’ve heard the surgeons say that the only thing worse than telling a player he’s torn his ACL (anterior cruciate

ligament) is to tell him he’s torn it a second time,” says Kraft. “We want to do everything we can do to make them strong and ready to play without risk.” The most common sports injury the experts at the Return to Performance program see is ACL tears, working with athletes who have had surgical grafts to repair a separation between the ligament and the bones surrounding the knee.

Tips to prevent injury Players can help prevent injury or re-injury by following a few steps: • Always warming up before training and competition. • Making stretching part of warm-up and cool down activities. • Improving agility, making sure to pivot and turn in a way that doesn’t stress the ACL. • Improving muscle strength, particularly in the quadriceps and hamstrings. • Practicing landing skills. Bending both the hips and knees to absorb shock and keeping the knees aligned straight ahead – not allowing the knees to collapse in towards each other. “We just keep hammering on technique at all times,” says Kraft. “If they keep working on it, they should be very well-versed in how to move safely. It will be something that is just automatic.”

A thorough evaluation When athletes finish the program, they complete a Return to Play Evaluation. Kraft says exercise physiologists use high-speed video to record an athlete completing a series of motor skills test. Sanford POWER Center experts then give an athlete’s doctor a report that

This medical update was brought to you by Sanford Health. For more information about programs to help athletes make a safe return to sports, visit www.sanfordpower.com. 36 December/January 2013 villagefamilymag.org

objectively quantifies an athlete’s injury risk using markers of hip stability, pelvic stability, hip strategy, trunk stability and shock absorption. A physician can then use that information to help determine if a player is cleared for practice and competition. Working with athletes, who range from middle and high school sports players to adults who have had their sports hobby hampered by injury or surgery, is a rewarding job, says Kraft. “It gives you a sense of purpose when you see a person return to the sport he loves,” says Kraft. “We’re really here to help anyone who wants improve their performance.”

family

YOUR FAMILY z wellness

By Patricia Carlson

It started with crying. The tears kept coming and they wouldn’t stop. Then her energy sapped. She didn’t have motivation to do anything, not even leave the house. Finally, she started feeling overwhelmingly anxious and one day she experienced a vicious panic attack.

“That’s when I finally went to the doctor.” family

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December/January 2013 37

er doctor diagnosed her with depression. That was decades ago. Years of medication and off-and-on therapy later, she is still coping with the disease. “It’s not a bad thing,” she says. “It’s no different than a heart problem. It’s an illness.” This is a real story, from a real woman—a mother of two, grandmother of three—living right here in Fargo. Although she is normally happy to share her story of dealing with depression to anyone who may also be struggling with the disease, she wishes to remain anonymous to protect her immediate and extended families’ identities. Part of her reasoning circles around her protecting her parents, both of whom suffered from depression. She says she first became aware of their depressive states while in high school in the 1950s. “My mom would wake up one morning and she’d be depressed,” she says. “It would be a year sometimes before she’d come out of it. But it was very hush-hush back then. You didn’t talk about it.”

One in Ten Adults Have Depression

Times have changed. Medications for depression (Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Pristiq) are featured nightly in prime-time television advertisements. Newspapers, magazines, and broadcast news regularly feature stories about mental health. In early October, The Forum ran a frontpage story of a woman who jumped to her death in Fargo after struggling with mental health issues since age 19. And questions about stress and anxiety are now routine during many patients’ annual physicals.

are more likely to suffer from major depression: people between 45 and 64 years old; women; blacks and Hispanics; people with less than a high school education; people who were previously married; the unemployed; and people without health insurance coverage. On its website, The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) states, “Depression occurs 70 percent more frequently in women than in men for reasons that are not fully understood. Without treatment, the frequency and severity of these symptoms tend to increase over time.” Therapists interviewed for this article agree the most common mental health issues for which they counsel people in FargoMoorhead are depression and anxiety. Beyond the CDC’s criteria, therapists say economic stressors, issues with aspects of a rural life, and life adjustments like the birth of a child or death of a loved one are the biggest reasons why people in our region suffer from depression or anxiety. Many people also experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is a kind of depression that can occur during long winter months. “It’s important to note that there are many varieties of depression and anxiety,” explains Sturgill. “Depression can range from low-grade, chronic depression to bipolar disorder where there are major changes in a person’s mood states. Anxiety can include everything from generalized anxiety, panic disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.” John Lyon, a therapist with The Village Family Service Center, also says depression and anxiety can co-mingle in people, which can complicate a diagnosis and course of treatment. “You can be anxious and depressed,” he says, adding, “and sometimes you can experience generalized or catastrophizing worry, and depression, where you’re evaluating things in a negative or unpleasant way.”

ental illnesses are medical conditions M that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning.

38 December/January 2013

“A lot of times what we see is people beginning to experience an episode with depression or anxiety slowly,” states Dr. Danial Sturgill, a psychologist with Sanford Health in Fargo. “It doesn’t necessarily start off dramatically.” That was precisely the case for Patrick S. from Chicago, who recently graduated with his master’s degree in computer science. Patrick says he first started struggling with depression as a teenager. “I think some of it had to with the fact that I was gay,” he explains. “That was a challenge that I had to internalize, especially back then.” Patrick’s constant quest to figure out why he was gay and if that meant something was wrong with him was draining. And it got worse when he entered into his first long-term relationship. “When I was 23, I got into a relationship and he didn’t love me,” states Patrick. “I was in a crappy relationship and I was young and I didn’t have the skills to cope. I became more and more depressed until I ended up having a suicide attempt.” He was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit for a month before beginning a year and a half of rigorous therapy. One hypothesis of why we’re suddenly more comfortable talking and hearing and learning about mental illness is a lot of us suffer from it. The latest report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows an estimated one in 10 U.S. adults report depression. The same study finds that several groups villagefamilymag.org

What is Depression?

But what, exactly, does depression feel like? And why is it happening? For Samantha Smith, a happily married mom of two young girls from Fargo who also wishes to use a pseudonym to protect her family’s identities, depression manifested in three ways: anger, compulsive eating, and isolation. “I’ve probably been dealing with family

depression since high school,” she says, “but of course, like many people I never sought help. I was always able to push through it.” A series of traumatic life changes that included an abrupt marriage, childbirth, and her husband’s erratic work schedule catapulted Samantha into a depressive state from which she could not self-soothe. “I’d get angry, extremely angry about everything,” she explains. “I wasn’t necessarily mad at anyone but I was angry at life.” Sometimes Samantha wouldn’t eat for days, like her mind and body forgot to tell her it needed nourishment. Then she would binge, unaware of how many calories she was consuming while sitting in front of the television. And then, she started pulling away from extended family and friends. A social butterfly who loved to talk and go to parties or other public events, Samantha holed herself up inside her home every night. “Normally I loved talking on the phone, but I would only talk to my husband, my parents, or his parents,” she remembers. Samantha’s experience is not unlike millions of others who are suffering from depression. The National Alliance on Mental Illness says, “Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life.” Mental health issues in general, and certainly depression and anxiety, are physiological conditions that are happening inside your body, often to your brain. You didn’t cause it. You didn’t do anything wrong. It can be hereditary. Often, you can’t fix it without a course of treatment like medication, therapy, exercise, meditation, or some combination of clinical and holistic approaches. “I think that people don’t recognize that depression is something physical that’s happening to them,” says Sanford’s Sturgill. “They tell themselves, ‘I just need to buck up and deal with this,’ instead of seeing the depression as an illness that is largely beyond their control.” Perception—or how you view the world around you and your place in it—is something that skews when experiencing a mental health issue, says Barbara Werre, a Board Certified Professional Counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Essentials of Life in Moorhead. She says perception is the common denominator in nearly all of the cases of mental health she’s counseled. “Each of us has a unique way to make sense of our ‘own world’ which then explains ‘our reality,’” says Werre, adding that a person’s perception is built, in part, on personal beliefs, morals, family history, environment, etc. These combined beliefs and experiences become the filter through which a person reacts to the world around them. During an episode of a mood disorder like depression, your perception of where you fit into your world can dramatically change, says The Village’s Lyon. “You’ve heard the expression rose-colored glasses? Well, it’s like depression-colored glasses. Everything looks bad or feels sad,” Lyon says. “And so many people, because of that, feel like it’s a sign of personal failing. They think, ‘I’m a bad person because I can’t handle this or manage that.’” However, with additional research into the brain and increased awareness about mental health, Lyon says more and more people are beginning to understand that depression is a physiological family family

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villagefamilymag.org villagefamilymag.org

December/January 2013 39 April/May 2011

disorder and they are willing to seek help. For example, Samantha reached out to her family practitioner who immediately saw her distress and referred her to a psychiatrist. Today, with the help of medication and psychotherapy, she is in a much better place. “I was in such a cloud before getting help that I couldn’t even see how bad off I was,” explains Samantha. “I was a little nervous before my first therapy session. I didn’t know what it was going to be like. But he was very nice and straightforward. He explained what a therapy session with him would be like and asked if I was okay with that.” It’s important to clarify that Samantha isn’t cured. The National Alliance on Mental Illness states that, for most people, depression will be a lifelong battle where periods of wellness will alternate with periods of illness.

After waking up sweating and crying, she’d rush into his room at night to make sure he was breathing. Angela says she would “freak out” if she had to leave his side for more than a couple of minutes. Convinced she had postpartum depression, she sought advice from her doctor. But after discussing her symptoms, doctors determined Angela was actually suffering from PTSD.

Medication has eased Angela’s nightmares and keeps her anxiety levels manageable. For many people though, psychotherapy or other treatment methods may also be needed. At Essentials of Life, Werre incorporates a nontraditional psychotherapy called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). It’s just one of the modalities she uses to help patients. Lyon, one of several therapists at The Village trained in EMDR, explains it in more detail. “EMDR uses alternating bi-lateral stimulation, usually eye movements, to help the client process traumatic memories and experiences. Theory suggests that this bi-lateral stimulation helps the client’s own brain reprocess the trauma into a less hurtful and emotionally powerful memory.”

I wasn’t necessarily mad at anyone but I was angry at life. “I felt alone. When I tried talking about it with other people, they thought it was a cool experience. I delivered my son in a car,” she says. “What they didn’t understand was the not knowing if he was alive or okay. The paramedics did everything right that day; I just didn’t know.”

Fight or Flight

Sometimes a mental health disorder can appear after experiencing a traumatic event. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, is often associated with veterans of war, but the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) reports about one in 30 adults in the U.S. suffer from the anxiety disorder. A person often shows symptoms of PTSD after seeing or living through something dangerous. According to the NIMH website, “This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This ‘fight-or-flight’ response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.” Angela Bartsh, a married mother of two from Fargo, is recovering from PTSD following the birth of her second child. She was forced to deliver him in a car with only the help of her sister after her labor progressed during a surprisingly short span of 20 minutes. Compounding Angela’s anxiety over the birth was a moment after paramedics arrived and she asked them if everything was okay with her child. She says they paused and asked her to give them a moment before assuring her he was, in fact, healthy. It was in those precious seconds that Angela believes her trauma reached a critical point. She began experiencing severe nightmares and anxiety attacks. 40 December/January 2013

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A Major Concern

Unfortunately, mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and PTSD still carry a heavy amount of stigma. For a variety of reasons, people don’t feel comfortable admitting they are not functioning well. It took Angela almost a year to tell her parents about her PTSD diagnosis; her husband’s parents still don’t know. “I was embarrassed. I am supposed to be this strong mom who can handle anything,” she says. “I felt stupid that I had this problem; I felt and thought that people who actually experienced an event had PTSD, people in war and police officers. I still feel uncomfortable talking about it.” Kama Jensen, a licensed Clinical Counselor who owns Conscious Living Counseling and Education Center in Fargo, says stigma against people with mental health issues is still a major concern—and it often comes from the patients themselves. “People will find a way to get by, and this can create habitual patterns which worsen conditions like depression and anxiety,” explains Jensen. “Our brain is designed to be efficient and find the quickest answer. Without a healthier solution, the mind can convince itself that the way to cope with anxiety and depression is to avoid social events, people, or even life.” This can result in suffering in isolation which, according to Sanford’s Sturgill, is one of the worst things that can happen to a person suffering from depression or anxiety. “That’s when things get really bad,” he says. “When they don’t talk, they become isolated. They start to feel that family

it’s not okay for them to talk about their problems to others.” Werre believes much of the stigma that forces people to keep quiet about their mental health concerns is a cultural phenomenon called the “myth of naturalism.” The myth implies several key factors: 1) A person should know how to manage anything and everything in life, 2) It is a weakness to seek help from others, 3) Being independent is a strength. “It is pervasive and destructive,” Werre states. “This myth has helped create the stigma that still exists today. Humans are meant to be connected to trust others, and we are meant to learn from each other.” In other words, suffering in silence doesn’t do anyone—least of all you—any good. There is a shift, albeit slight, happening. The Village’s Lyon explains that as more research is funded and completed, and more media outlets report those findings, more people are viewing therapy as self-improvement instead of a psychological sentencing. “I see a lot of self-referrals now,” says Lyon. “So many people come in wanting to work on themselves in hopes of becoming a better person. They are taking pride in wanting to be their best selves. There is definitely a self-improvement culture that’s been growing.” Actors like “Mad Men’s” Jon Hamm, musicians like “The X Factor’s” Demi Lovato, and well-known journalists like “60 Minutes’” Mike Wallace disclosing their brushes with mental health issues have also bolstered people’s understanding that it can affect anyone, regardless of their status in life. However, there is still a long way to go. All you have to do is look at the two women and one man who chose to remain anonymous in this article. Although they’re happy to share their story to help other people recognize symptoms and seek help, they’re not so comfortable with the reactions they get (or their family would get) that they want to make their identities public.

Now What?

You know the warning signs. The symptoms. The most common types of mental health issues. You think you need help. Now what? The simple answer is to find someone to talk to. Although a licensed therapist is best, Sturgill says reaching out to

says any clinician should welcome. If they don’t, it’s a red flag. “I always tell people to shop around for the best fit,” advises Jensen. “A quality clinician should never feel threatened by questions like: Tell me about your background. What training do you have in treating depression or anxiety? How long will the therapy process last? These are important questions. Go to the person who feels right for you.” For Ashley Kingsley, a mom of two from Denver, Colorado, that meant finding therapists who were willing to explore alternative methods of treatment. “I tried hypnosis. I tried yoga, meditation, quitting caffeine and alcohol, nicotine. I was willing to do anything that would help. I then went to medications.” According to The National Institute of Mental Health, choosing the right medication, medication dose, and treatment plan should be based on a person’s individual needs and medical situation, and under a doctor’s care. Dosage may need to be adjusted from time to time. For example, Samantha’s psychiatrist upped her dosage when she experienced postpartum depression following both her children’s births.

The Other Side a family member, friend, member of clergy, or your personal physician is also good. “The idea is that you find somebody who you can bounce ideas off of,” he advises. “You tell them what you’re experiencing and together figure out when you need additional help.” Locating and using a support system of family and friends is what ultimately helped Patrick S. cope. Patrick was able to manage his depression by turning to family and friends and a regular, rigorous exercise routine. “Those things really helped me,” he says. If and when you’re ready to take that next step, there are plenty of resources available to you in our region, and nationally, over the phone or through the internet via web therapy (although you may want to check with your insurance to find out what is covered under your mental health plan option). Determining which method of therapy is best for you may take trial and error, something Conscious Living’s Jensen

family

When you’re in the throes of depression or an anxiety disorder, it can feel like you’re trapped in your own mind. “Focusing on anything was extremely difficult,” says the grandmother we met first whose parents both struggled with depression. “The more I’d try to think or concentrate on something, the more I couldn’t. I started to feel so trapped I didn’t want to leave the house.” But when the cloud clears (following whatever forms of treatment you’ve sought), she says it can turn your whole existence around. “For me, medication was really the breakthrough. I remember when I started feeling better, it was like, ‘Wow! I didn’t know I could feel so good!’” she says. “Once I experienced that, it was so phenomenal I knew I’d be willing to take charge of my mental health whatever it threw at me.” That’s a self-improvement strategy everyone should try. Patricia Carlson is a freelance writer and media coach from Dilworth, Minn. View more of her work at www. patriciacarlsonfreelance.com.

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December/January 2013 41

YOUR FAMILY z money

By Kelly Lynch

any recent developments in personal financial management involve technology. The U.S. Treasury is only issuing new Savings Bonds electronically; people receiving federal benefits must now accept their money electronically, instead of by check; and many consumers are opting to handle their basic financial needs online. Ask most teenagers and young adults what a check register is, and they’ll give you a blank stare. While the ways finances are handled have advanced from years gone by, core financial education concepts still hold true. A lack of financial literacy is one barrier that can lower standards of living and limit prosperity. Financial literacy is the ability to understand money and how to manage it so you can make informed financial decisions. It leads to financial stability and helps consumers recognize the importance of saving money, planning for unexpected expenses, and establishing short- and long-term savings goals. “Once we have a thorough understanding of consumer finance we are able to make decisions about savings, investments, insurance, spending, and borrowing in an informed manner,” says Tracy McFarlane, Financial Counseling Supervisor at The Village Family Service Center’s Financial Resource Center. McFarlane acknowledges the complexity of today’s financial world. “With all of the options that consumers have in today’s market, the biggest challenge is knowing who you can trust with your hard-earned cash,” she says. Knowing the language of the financial world is key to being an educated consumer. We teach children how to walk, talk, and behave in public, but studies show we do a less than adequate job teaching them about financial matters. A wealth of information, in whatever media format you prefer, is available to help you and your family increase your financial literacy. The Village has brochures, workbooks, counselors, and classes—go to www.HelpWithMoney.org for more information. The Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) offers a wide selection of videos and information on financial literacy online at www.pbs.org/your-life-your-money/. Your local library shelves are bursting with books on every aspect of financial literacy. You can find many online resources useful for all ages (see sidebar on the following page to learn more). And, if you’re never without your smartphone, you can download a number of financial apps that will track your spending, manage your bank account, even help you prepare your taxes.

42 December/January 2013

Finally, have some fun while you learn. Visa’s Financial Football 2.0, an NFL-themed educational video game, uses the NFL’s structure and rules to teach money skills and improve financial literacy. Children and adults answer questions of varying difficulty about money management. The updated game is available in English and Spanish and can be played online or ordered at no cost. Visit www.practicalmoneyskills.com/ games/trainingcamp/ff/. Or, test your financial literacy with The Village Family Magazine word match on the following page. Make improving your financial literacy a resolution for 2013. Kelly Lynch is the editor-in-chief of The Village Family Magazine. She lives with her husband and sons in Fargo.

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Financial Literacy Word Match Match the word to its definition. (Answers at the bottom of the page.)

1. ___Equity 2. ___Debit Card 3. ___Grace Period 4. ___Interest 5. ___Annual Fee 6. ___Cosigner 7. ___Escrow 8. ___Lien 9. ___Asset 10. ___Default 11. ___Appraisal 12. ___Points 13. ___Credit Score 14. ___Collateral 15. ___Annual Percentage Rate (APR) Definition Sources: Fowles, D. (2008) The Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s & 30s Book. Avon: Adams Media; Butler, T. (2010) The Complete Guide to Personal Finance For Teenagers and College Students. Ocala: Atlantic Publishing Group; Minnesota Attorney General’s Office (2007) The Credit Handbook. St. Paul: Consumer Protection.

a) A fee that borrowers pay in order to buy the interest rate down on a mortgage loan. b) With a credit account, this is the charge you pay to use the credit; with a savings account, this is the money paid to you by the financial institution for depositing your money with them. c) A card connected to your checking account which results in an electronic funds transfer from your account when you use it to make purchases or access cash. d) Property offered to support a loan and subject to seizure if you default on the loan. e) The measure of the cost of credit, expressed as a yearly rate. f) Anything you own that is of monetary value, including cash, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, cars, real estate, and other items. g) The amount of money something is worth, minus the amount that is still owed on it.

h) A claim against a property designed to secure payment of a debt or performance of an obligation. i) A person who signs a loan or credit contract with someone else, thereby assuming equal responsibility for the loan or agreement. j) A flat, yearly charge imposed by credit card companies. k) Determines what something is worth, usually real estate or personal property. l) Three digit score based on information listed in your credit report. m) Failure to pay a loan or otherwise meet a credit obligation. n) Number of days you have before a credit card company starts charging you interest on new purchases. o) Money or assets held by an agent until terms of a contract or agreement are fulfilled.

Answers: 1. g, 2. c, 3. n, 4. b, 5. j, 6. i, 7. o, 8. h, 9. f, 10. m, 11. k, 12. a, 13. l, 14. d, 15. e.

Basic Online Financial Literacy Resources

The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants’ 360 Degrees of Financial Literacy helps people understand their personal finances through every stage of life. www.360financialliteracy.org The Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. offers a Financial Planning Resource Kit to help people learn about financial planning. www.cfp.net/Upload/Publications/187.pdf Choose to Save is sponsored by the Employee Benefit Research Institute and the American Savings Education Council. This public education campaign encourages saving through all stages of life. www.choosetosave.org Kids.gov provides an extensive money section with topics that cover saving, spending, and earning money. www.kids.usa.gov Money Management International’s Financial Wellness in 30 Steps is a website that outlines a path to financial wellness. The program gives consumers the information needed to create successful strategies for improving their financial well-being. www.financialliteracymonth.com The National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) has launched a National Financial Literacy Campaign that encourages Americans to start achieving their financial goals today by accessing practical information on the Smart About Money Website. www.smartaboutmoney.org The Bookstore on The Village’s Financial Resource Center website features books personally recommended by financial counselors at The Village. Find the Bookstore link at the very bottom of the web page. www.HelpWithMoney.org family

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December/January 2013 43

For the new year, we are featuring a new department in the magazine and it’s all about YOU! Because of our overwhelming reader participation in recent drawings and surveys, we’d like readers to share their stories and pictures with us, too. Each issue will feature a topic and we’ll ask for reader input. You can respond through the mail (stories only) or email (photos and stories). The inaugural topic is FIRST BIRTHDAYS. Please send us humorous stories and pictures from your child’s first birthday. We’ll select the most entertaining and include them in an upcoming issue. Please only email pictures you have permission to print. Sorry, we can’t reprint photos received through the mail. The deadline for FIRST BIRTHDAYS is Friday, December 28, 2012.

Thanks for participating! Email: magazine@TheVillageFamily.org Mail: The Village Family Service Center, Attn: Magazine, P.O. Box 9859, Fargo, ND 58106. 44 December/January 2013

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YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Apple Rosemary Pork Loin 2-lb pork loin ½ Tbsp olive oil 3 green onions, chopped ¾ cup apple, cored, peeled, and chopped 2 tsp minced garlic 1 Tbsp cider vinegar 1 Tbsp fresh rosemary, chopped

Salt Pepper 1 ⁄3 cup chicken stock 3 Tbsp apple cider 1 tsp Dijon mustard Butcher’s twine Cooking spray

Emerson, Age 2

Shimmering Icicles

Add oil to a large skillet over medium-high heat. Put in onions, apple, and garlic. Cook for five minutes. Add vinegar and rosemary and cook an additional minute. Scoop apple mixture into a small bowl, wipe skillet clean and set aside. Preheat oven to 425°. Slice pork roast lengthwise, nearly in half, but don’t go all the way through the other side. Open it up so pork is flat. Put apple mixture on one side and fold the pork back over it. Secure in three sections with butcher’s twine. Spray skillet with cooking spray and heat to mediumhigh. Sear pork on all sides. Transfer roast to a sprayed roasting pan and bake in oven at 425° for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 325° and cook for at least 45 minutes (internal temperature of roast should be 145°). Allow roast to “rest” for five minutes before slicing. While resting, transfer juices from roasting pan to saucepan. Over medium-high heat, add chicken stock, apple cider, and mustard. Whisk and bring to a boil, cooking two minutes. Serve over sliced pork.

Construction paper Glue Tape Tray/cookie sheet Silver glitter

Tape paper to tray. Squirt a thick line of glue across the top of the paper. Tip tray up to make glue run down paper. When your “icicles” are the length you want, put tray down and sprinkle the paper with glitter. Shake off extra glitter and allow paper to dry.

(Submitted by: Toddler 2 Room at Nokomis II)

Cinnamon Stick Tree Fabric scraps Cinnamon stick Scissors Small star (wood, craft foam, or sticker) Glue Cut several strips of fabric about eight inches long and ½ inch wide. Starting at one end of the cinnamon stick, knot a fabric strip around stick. Continue tying fabric around stick with all knots facing forward, leaving equal lengths of fabric on each side of the knots. End about one inch from the bottom of the stick. Take your scissors and, holding one side of the fabric strips taut, cut the strips diagonally up toward the top of the stick. Complete the cut on the opposite side, making a triangular shape with the fabric strips. Glue the star to the top of the “tree.” A few ideas of what to do with your finished tree: • Attach a pin back with hot glue and wear it as a brooch. • Add a piece of string to hang as an ornament. • Hot glue to cardstock for a holiday card.

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December/January 2013 45

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: It’s the time for home.

gave us “ourGodmemories

—Dame Edith Sitwell

so that we might have roses in December. —J. M. Barrie

”

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.

One kind word can warm three winter months. —Japanese proverb

—Eric Sevareid

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep is this: To rise above the little things. —John Burroughs

“I don’t dream at night, I dream all day. I dream for a living.” – Steven Spielberg 46 December/January 2013

“

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential. —Ellen Goodman

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Save on Your Taxes There has never been a better time to show your commitment to North Dakota’s children with a new expanded state tax credit. North Dakotans may now receive a 40% tax credit for gifts made to endowments of charities such as The Village Family Service Center*. 40% for Individuals Contributions of $5,000 or more (cash or planned gifts) will qualify for a 40% tax credit of up to $10,000 per person or $20,000 for a married couple. A donor in the 28% tax bracket may see these benefits: GIFT AMOUNT Federal Tax Savings North Dakota Tax Credit

$5,000 -1,400 -2,000

$50,000 -14,000 -20,000

Net cost of gift:

$1,600

$16,000

40% for Businesses & Financial Institutions C corporations, S corporations, estates, limited liability companies, and trusts may qualify for a 40% tax credit, up to a maximum credit of $10,000.

For FREE information on the North Dakota State Tax Credit and other Estate Planning tools, complete and return the form below, or call Janet at 701-451-5036. Complete and mail to: Janet Zinke, The Village Family Service Center, P.O. Box 9859, Fargo, ND 58106



P lease send me additional information on how I can use North Dakota’s expanded tax credit to save on my taxes. Name:__________________________________ Telephone:_________________ Address:___________________________________________________________ City:______________ State:____ Zip:________ Email:______________________

* The Children’s Village Family Service Foundation was created solely to support the ongoing work and legacy of The Village Family Service Center. The Village is North Dakota’s oldest child-caring agency and has served North Dakotans throughout the entire state since 1891.

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