Village Family Magazine by The Village Family Service Center

HUGE Fargo-Moorhead Events Calendar Inside!

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August/September 2011

The 47th Annual

BOBCAT North Dakota State Open August 25-28, 2011 Fargo Country Club Proceeds benefit: The Village Family Service Center

www.bobcatndopen.com

YOUR FAMILY z from the editor

ne of my favorite summer reads this year was “How to Be Idle,” by British writer Tom Hodgkinson. In it, he argues that most of us spend entirely too much time wasting away at work, chores, and the other basic demands of daily living. He stresses the more you allow yourself to be lazy, the more productive you’ll be in the long run. Hodgkinson, editor of British newspaper “The Idler,” challenges readers to sleep late, take a lunch break away from the desk, take a nap, go out for a beer with coworkers, “have a proper tea (or coffee),” and just loaf once in a while. I took Hodgkinson’s advice to heart. I slept late, and when I did wake, I stared at the ceiling, thought out my day, planned what I would do with it. I laid in bed for an hour, enjoying the warm bed and the cuddly cat purring by my shoulder. This weekend hiatus caused me to have more energy for my

August/September 2011 Vol. 15, No. 4 Publisher The Village Family Service Center Gary Wolsky Tammy Noteboom Editor-in-Chief Lonna Whiting Advertising Sales Manager Joy Ryan Advertising Sales Tabetha Hurtt Food & Fun Editors Shayna Hendricksen Kelly Lynch Copy Editors Shayna Hendricksen Kelly Lynch The Village Family Service Center Board of Directors Kari Conrad, Lyman Edds, Matthew Hallaway, Dr. Richard Hanson, Matt Leiseth, Dr. Jim Larson, Dale Mowry, Michelle Powers, Joy Query, Dan Ulmer, Shane Waslaski.

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daily workouts. I felt motivated to cook dinner, and I stopped stressing about how much laundry I had to get done. I was ... happier. Now, gone is the guilt associated with the simple pleasures of an afternoon doze. Gone is the stress of getting it all done between 8 and 5. What needs doing will get done, but it means letting go of mundane deadlines and allowing yourself time to think, process, loiter. So here’s your challenge: Be idle this week. Take a longer break. Doze off. Read a book. Turn off the alarm. Enjoy the simple pleasures of just being. It’s easier than you think, and it costs nothing more than the effort of letting go of the artificial constraints of time. Thanks for reading, Lonna Whiting

For advertising information, call (701) 451-5000 For editorial comments or questions, please call 701-451-4935 or email magazine@TheVillageFamily.org Printed by Forum Communications Printing, Fargo, N.D. ©2011 The Village Family Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The Village Family Magazine is a registered trademark. The Village Family Magazine does not necessarily endorse content of advertising.

The mission of The Village Family Magazine is to broaden the ability of The Village Family Service Center to improve the quality of people’s lives. In each issue, articles, essays, and features will educate, inform and encourage families to develop and maintain positive, constructive relationships. Mail correspondence to: The Village Family Service Center ATTN: Family Magazine 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, ND 58103

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August/September 2011

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August/September 2011 z wellness

in every issue z gary’s opinion

z books & movies

30 Probiotics

z mom’s view

z dad’s view

Simply call them good germs. Or refer to them by their scientific name, acidophilus. Whatever you call them, probiotics are crucial in maintaining the health of your tummy. They might even have some weight loss benefits as well.

z events calendar

z parenting

z food & fun

34 Seven Tips for Preschoolers

There’s a lot parents and guardians can do to get their children on the right track towards literacy. From getting to know a child’s interests to embracing her unique talents, learn ways you can give your preschooler an edge––even before she hits the kindergarten classroom.

z words & wisdom 46 Photo by Rialee Photography.

DEPARTMENTS

36 Get to Know The New Teacher

z feature Writer Lukas Brandon explains why it’s healthy to man up and get some guy friends.

Start off the school year by getting to know your child’s new teacher. There are several ways you can show you’re willing to go the extra mile by introducing yourself and by being proactive about your child’s education.

z consumer

z spirituality

16 Cosigning Q & A

40 Fear

12 Man Friendships

Do you know the difference between rational and irrational fear? Read about how your body and mind copes with both types of fear, as well as how spirituality can strengthen your resiliency.

Financial experts help explain the risks associated with cosigning a loan for a friend or family member.

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YOUR FAMILY z gary’s opinion

Minnesota Shutdown is Unthinkably Irresponsible A

Will Rogers said, “The time to save is s I write this, Minnesota is closed North Dakota: for business––kind of a new now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t hoeven.senate.gov/public variation on the “Closed: Gone Fishing” go out and make a down payment on a http://conrad.senate.gov signs of yesteryear, and it’s worth bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got.” http://berg.house.gov pondering the context in which this type If, as a citizen, you think it’s OK that of “shutdown” is possible. Congress hasn’t submitted a budget in For decades, The Village Family Minnesota: almost 800 days, perhaps you’re part of Service Center has provided a lot of franken.senate.gov the problem. services to Minnesotans. My simple point is that this has to klobuchar.senate.gov We don’t know if stop, and it has to stop soon. Minnesota walz.house.gov the kids and families will sooner or later get its financial act kline.house.gov we’re working with–– together, but its problems are small paulsen.house.gov mostly high risk and compared to the national problems we mccollum.house.gov vulnerable––will face (some have estimated our national ellison.house.gov be supported by the unfunded liabilities in the range of bachmann.house.gov Wolsky insurance programs that $130 trillion). Unless we begin soon to collinpeterson.house.gov typically pay for these seriously address these long-neglected cravaack.house.gov services and are backed by “the state” of issues, the pain will be unspeakable. Minnesota. Good citizenship and good We also don’t know if we continue government doesn’t work as a spectator to provide these services (which we’ve done in similar sport. Our elected leaders need to hear from us soon. circumstances before) whether or not we’ll be paid for the The opinions expressed in this column are those of The work we do. This is a microcosm of what happens when a state Village Family Service Center president and CEO. They do not or any entity is irresponsible of its financial responsibilities. necessarily reflect the opinions of The Village staff or boards of “Irresponsible” has been an accurate term to describe many directors. governmental units––both large and small––everywhere we look! Quite honestly, this problem––as well as others––borders on criminal. There are a couple of rules that apply universally to issues of money, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a family, a state, or a national government. The first is that you can’t, over time, spend more than you make. This isn’t a Republican or a Democratic philosophy––it is simple math. Another rule is the longer you ignore rule No. 1, the more pain there will be attached to getting back to “normal.” Minnesota is at the “pain” part of this equation, having neglected rule No. 1 for too long. Our country has been neglecting rule No. 1 for a long time, but so far has refused to accept the reality of the pain associated with fixing the problems. We have seen what happens when governments have to face the consequences of their stupidity. Under these circumstances the social fabric of a culture begins to fray and unravel (demonstrations, riots, and destruction). We’re no different. At some point in our national slide into fiscal oblivion––perhaps after it is too late––there will be similar reactions here. The severity will relate to how long we fail to address it. It’s easy to blame our elected officials. There is little question they should be held accountable for their inept and irresponsible behavior. As this issue goes to press in early July, it has been nearly 800 days since Congress has even submitted a budget. This is astounding. No responsible business would allow its governing body and leadership to behave in such an incompetent way. But who put them there? As citizens this is our responsibility and our problem, and we haven’t been acting in the most responsible way either.

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YOUR FAMILY z movies “Dolphin Tale”

3D Not yet rated In theatres September 23 View the trailer at: dolphintalemovie. warnerbros.com “Dolphin Tale” is inspired by the true story of a dolphin named Winter who was rescued off the Florida coast and taken in by the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. The movie version centers on a boy who befriends an injured dolphin who lost her tail in a crab trap. Through their bond and friendship, the boy motivates everyone around him to help save the dolphin by creating a prosthetic appendage to replace the dolphin’s tail. The marine mammal’s strong survival instincts become an inspiration to people with special needs throughout the world. Starring Harry Connick Jr., Ashley Judd, and Kris Kristofferson. ––imdb.com

“Rise of the Planet of the Apes”

“Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World”

4D Not yet rated In theatres September 23 On the surface, Marissa Cortez Wilson (Jessica Alba) has it all ... a famous spy hunting television reporter husband, a new baby, and intelligent twin step-kids. But in reality, trying to mother Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook), who clearly don’t want her around, is her toughest challenge yet. Also, her husband, Wilbur (Joel McHale), wouldn’t know a spy if he lived with one which is exactly the case––Marissa’s a retired secret agent. Marissa’s world is turned upside down when the maniacal Timekeeper (Jeremy Piven) threatens to take over the planet and she’s called back into action by the head of OSS, home of the greatest spies and where the now-defunct Spy Kids division was created. With Armageddon quickly approaching, Rebecca and Cecil are thrust into action when they learn their boring stepmom was once a top agent. Now the world’s most competitive ten year olds are forced to put their bickering aside and rely on their wits. With a little help from a couple of very familiar Spy Kids, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara), and some mindblowing gadgets, they just may be able to save the world and possibly bring their family together while they’re at it. ––filmjabber.com

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Not yet rated––contains violence and controversial subject matter In theatres August 5 View the trailer at: apeswillrise.com With a $90 million film Twentieth Century Fox budget, this action, scifi thriller from director Rupert Wyatt should please even the most seasoned movie lovers. James Franco stars in this film about a scientific experiment involving a young chimp named Caesar. After being quarantined with less advanced apes, an angry Caesar takes action and becomes the leader of a race of intelligent apes eager to take over as the most powerful animals on Earth, including humans. Also starring Freida Pinto and John Lithgow.

“Footloose”

Not yet rated In theatres October 14 View the trailer at: mtv.com Writer/Director Craig Brewer (“Hustle & Flow,” “Black Snake Moan”) delivers a new take on the beloved 1984 classic film, “Footloose.” Ren MacCormack (played by newcomer Kenny Wormald) is transplanted from Boston to the small southern town of Bomont where he experiences a heavy dose of culture shock. A few years prior, the community was rocked by a tragic accident that killed five teenagers after a night out and Bomont’s local councilmen and the beloved Reverend Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid) responded by implementing ordinances that prohibit loud music and dancing. Not one to bow to the status quo, Ren challenges the ban, revitalizing the town and falling in love with the minister’s troubled daughter Ariel (Julianne Hough) in the process. ––traileraddict.com

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YOUR FAMILY z books “Last Man in Tower”

By Aravind Adiga Adult Fiction Available September 20 Aravind Adiga’s first novel since his Man Booker Prizewinning best seller “The White Tiger,” is a stunning, darkly comic story of greed and murder that lays bare the teeming metropolis of Mumbai, India. Real estate developer Dharmen Shah’s offer to buy out the residents of Vishram Society—a formerly respectable, now crumbling apartment complex that abuts the infamous Dharavi slums—is more than generous. But one man stands in the way of Shah’s luxury highrise: Masterji, a retired schoolteacher who will not leave his home in Vishram’s Tower A. As the demolition deadline looms, Masterji’s neighbors—friends who have become enemies, acquaintances turned coconspirators—may stop at nothing to score their payday. An electrifying, suspense-filled story of money and power, luxury and deprivation, peopled by brilliantly drawn, unforgettable characters, “Last Man in Tower” exposes the hearts and minds of the everymen and women of a great, booming city—ordinary people pushed to their limits in a place that knows none. ––bn.com

“The Boy With Pink Hair”

By Perez Hilton Picture Book Available September 1 He was born that way––The Boy with Pink Hair. He had a cotton candy-colored mop that no one had ever seen before. ... Life is not easy being pink. Adults stare at you, little children giggle behind your back, and some kids are just mean. But when you have a best friend who appreciates your uniqueness and parents who are loving and supportive, you can do just about anything. From blogger-extraordinaire, Perez Hilton, comes the story of a boy who is not afraid to be who he is and how his difference makes a difference. ––amazon.com

“Splat the Cat and the Duck With No Quack”

By Rob Scotton Early Reader Available in August Clickity clack, clickity clack. ... Splat’s bicycle bumps and jumps over the bumpy track on his way to school, until ... crack! Splat takes a tumble off of his bike and finds himself nose to beak with a duck. A crash of this caliber should certainly merit some alarm from this duck, but Splat hears no sound. A duck with no quack? Splat thinks that his teacher, Mrs. Wimpydimple, will know what to do, so Splat packs the duck in his backpack along with his school supplies and heads off to Cat School. Join Splat in this hilarious story that is sure to quack up beginning readers. Other titles in the “Splat the Cat” series: • “Splat the Cat: Good Night, Sleep Tight” • “Splat the Cat Sings Flat” ––bn.com

“Chains”

By Laurie Halse Anderson Young Adult Fiction Available in August As the Revolutionary War begins, 13-yearold Isabel wages her own fight ... for freedom. Promised freedom upon the death of their owner, she and her sister, Ruth, in a cruel twist of fate become the property of a malicious New York City couple, the Locktons, who have no sympathy for the American Revolution and even less for Ruth and Isabel. When Isabel meets Curzon, a slave with ties to the Patriots, he encourages her to spy on her owners, who know details of British plans for invasion. She is reluctant at first, but when the unthinkable happens to Ruth, Isabel realizes her loyalty is available to the bidder who can provide her with freedom. From acclaimed author Laurie Halse Anderson comes this compelling, impeccably researched novel that shows the lengths we can go to cast off our chains, both physical and spiritual. ––bn.com

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YOUR FAMILY z mom’s view “Thankfully, the conversation segued back to the merits of chocolate versus vanilla. But I also realized that, of all the people in the van, I was the only one who felt awkward about the topic. The rest of them were just figuring things out and asking questions, as they should.”

Ice Cream Prompts Anatomy Lesson By Gwen Rockwood s parents, we often find ourselves answering big questions at the most unusual times. It happened to me last week on the drive back from the pool. It was about 96 degrees that day with a heat index of what felt like 205. “Sweltering” was the word that came to mind. The kids and I swam around the shallow end in a desperate attempt to stay cool. Then we dried off and climbed into the minivan. Eight-year-old Adam asked if we could stop by our favorite ice cream place on the way home. I couldn’t argue with his logic. Climbing into that hot, stuffy minivan definitely made ice cream sound wildly appealing. Normally, I ask the kids to hold their ice cream cups and not eat until we get home, so as not to end up with car seats coated in chocolate sauce and sprinkles. But it was too hot that day to wait. In that short time period, here’s the conversation that transpired. Three-year-old Kate, little sister to big brothers, kicked it off with this surprising line: Kate (who was holding her ice cream cup between her legs): “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll be careful not to drip the ice cream on my penis.” Me (horrified but trying to sound nonchalant): “What?! No, Kate, girls do not have a penis. That’s only for boys. Girls have different parts.” (Side note: Let me interrupt here and say that, years ago, I followed some child-rearing book’s advice about not making up nicknames for body parts. The book said it’s better for kids to know the correct names of the parts of the human body so they won’t be confused later on. It made sense at the time. But I will admit: I nearly wrecked the car when my three-year-old girl said the word “penis.” A nickname like wee-wee would have been far less jarring.) Jack (six years old and honestly curious): “If she doesn’t have a penis, then where does the pee come out?” Me (trying to figure out how ice cream could have led to all this): “Well, her part is just different from yours. Pee comes out of her private parts. They’re private because nobody should be looking at them or touching them except for Kate,” I said, proud of how I’d delayed the task of trying to teach a toddler how to pronounce the word “urethra.” Thankfully, the conversation segued back to the merits of chocolate versus vanilla. But I also realized that, of all the people in the van, I was the only one who felt awkward about the topic. The rest of them were just figuring things out and asking questions, as they should. I was the one who brought all the weird baggage to the issue. After we got home and finished our ice cream, I told everyone to go upstairs and take their baths and showers to

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Illustration by Trygve Olson

wash off the chlorine and sweat. They all followed orders, and I checked in on each of them to make sure soap was actually being used. Ten minutes later, Kate rounded the corner dressed in her favorite pink Elmo pajamas and sat in front of me while I brushed her wet hair. “Did you remember to wash your arms and legs and everything else?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied. “And I even remembered to wash my pirate parts.” “Pirate parts?” I asked. “Yep, the pirate parts, just like you said,” she confirmed. I nodded and switched on the hair dryer, trying like crazy not to laugh. Obviously, this won’t be our last anatomy lesson.

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YOUR FAMILY z dad’s view “I felt like Davy Crockett as Mexican troops surged over the walls into the Alamo. I knew the battle was lost. But unlike Davy, I scrambled to do myself some good.”

Teen Daughter: ‘Can We Please Get a Kitten?’ By Rick Epstein hen a coward knows a battle is lost, he has a few options: He can throw away his musket and run, he can lie still and hope not to get trampled, or he can try to negotiate with the victor. These thoughts flashed through my mind in the final moments of our household struggle over whether we would get a cat. Wendy, our youngest daughter, had been campaigning for one for years and we’ve always told her, “Sorry, Marie is allergic to cats.” Marie is Wendy’s 21-year-old sister. Of course, there’s more to it than that. Cats have sharp teeth and claws. They carry fleas and cause destruction. They can’t use toilets (not properly anyway). They have no sense of humor and don’t share our values and beliefs. They are unpredictable and they use their urine as a medium of self-expression. They are called “animals” for a reason. But last summer, when Wendy was 13, she renewed her attack. “Now that Marie doesn’t really live here anymore, can’t we please get a sweet little kitten?” “Yeah, let’s get a cat,” said Sally, our middle daughter. She would be going away to college in the fall and should have no say in this. “It’ll give you old people something to do.” “But I want Marie to feel healthy when she is here,” I said, hunkering down behind the allergy defense. Then my wife Betsy said, “Marie has mostly outgrown her allergies, and besides she never spends more than a couple weeks here at a time. I think we should get a cat.” I felt like Davy Crockett as Mexican troops surged over the walls into the Alamo. I knew the battle was lost. But unlike Davy, I scrambled to do myself some good. “I’m OK with a cat as long as I don’t have to clean up after it,” I said. “It’s a deal,” said Betsy. If Wendy had a musket, she would have fired it into the air in joyous celebration. (We saved ourselves a lot of aggravation by never pretending that Wendy would serve the cat in any way.) Betsy acquired a full-grown, white-and-black cat from a coworker. It had been named Gazoo by insensitive children. Betsy renamed him Mr. Kitty. He was an instant success. Mr. Kitty likes curling up with people to have his head scratched. At night he sleeps next to Wendy’s head. Betsy pets and combs him all the time, and in the mornings Mr. Kitty and I are the first ones up. I talk to him a little. I give him a handful of his unappetizing dry grub, and he seems to say, “My favorite!” and crunches it up with gusto. Some milk in a bowl makes him giddy with joy. It’s nice to start each day by delighting a fellow creature so easily. He never complains, is never too busy for me, and never asks me to enroll him in costly paid-in-advance dance or sports programs that he will end up hating and quitting in the middle of. Then one morning Mr. Kitty pooped on the kitchen floor. All the experts will tell you not to use sarcasm on a cat, but I lost my temper. “Fine!” I told him, “Just poop anywhere you want!” Having made my point, I cleaned it up and told him we wouldn’t

Illustration by Trygve Olson

speak of it again. About two weeks later, he did it again. Feeling really mean, I grabbed him, put his face in it and threw him out the back door. But it happens over and over. Mr. Kitty continues to be Betsy’s cuddly pet, my special pal, and Wendy’s nocturnal protector. Betsy tends the litter box and experiments with its placement, but we cannot get him to respect the house rules for more than a couple of weeks. After having no success with violent reprisals, now I just hold him by his furry arms, look into his yellow eyes, and address the inner beast: “Mr. Kitty, what is your deal?” He purrs and looks back unashamed. He seems to be saying, “Look, man, that’s just who I am.” I, for one, don’t expect my friends to be perfect. For that matter, there are probably things we do that Mr. Kitty really hates but never mentions. Anyhow, if I find the mess first, I’ll clean it up even though, thanks to my smart bargaining early on, that’s not my job. But I get good-husband points for doing it. And I haven’t scooped up so much goodwill since the time I sat uncomplaining through a showing of “Eat, Pray, Love.” And this work is much preferable.

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YOUR FAMILY z feature

When was the last time you hung out with your guy friends? If like many of us, you find the daily grind of work, children, and domestic relationships does not leave much room for socializing, it is important to make time to nurture friendships with other guys.

FIND YOUR L

Best Bud

By Lukas Brandon Photography by Skyloft Photography

ife with young children can be stressful. As can work and married life. Fathers are increasingly sharing the work of caring for their home and offspring, usually while also holding down a job. Some dads are seemingly able to juggle these competing priorities with the greatest of ease, never showing the signs of overwork and irritability common to the rest of us. But these guys are rare. So what is a modern man to do?

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I have found that spending time with other dads is vital to my own mental health. As a stay-at-home father, I am vulnerable to feeling isolated from my male peers, especially in the winter months when the northern plains is at its worst. Many men rush in a frenzy from home to child care provider to work to child care provider and back home, just to repeat this process every day. Other fathers arrive home from work just in time to â&#x20AC;&#x153;tagâ&#x20AC;? their partner as she heads off to pursue her own career. Meanwhile, dirty dishes pile up, the kids are screaming, and you see no relief in sight. Time for some male bonding!

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There is nothing romantic involved in man friendships; they are simply a time-tested pressure release valve to make sure you are able to keep up with all of the responsibilities in the life of a busy modern father. If you are like me, your social skills may be getting rusty and you may have to work at making friends for the first time in your life. Here are some tips on how to go about nurturing your own man friendships, without being (too) weird about it.

Bond Over Hobbies and Athletics

For those dudes and dads who are more “doers” than “talkers,” simply share the same physical space while pursuing a hobby or sport. If you are a lapsed athlete, it may be as easy as signing up for a men’s basketball, softball, or bowling league. If you are a guy looking to blow off some steam on the court, whether basketball or tennis, you can bet there are other guys who love to play the game. Check into programs already up and running through your local parks, health clubs, and community organizations, or tap into the sports underground with activities like stickball and bicycle polo. Most guys are aware of the existence of local golf courses, but did you

know the F-M area boasts three disc golf courses? Get out there and play and you are bound to run into guys who share your love of the sporting life. We are not all athletes, of course, but if you pay attention you may be able to spot the telltale signs of a budding friendship by the camo on a fellow hunter’s jacket, the make and model of a dude’s motorcycle, or the social change bumper sticker on his Prius. In my experience, you don’t want to spook a potential guy friend away by giving him the full force of your personality all at once. This is a phenomenon my old friend Andy calls “Giving them too much Andy.” Start out with small talk about your shared interest, work your way up to occasional eye contact, and eventually the two of you will start hemming and hawing about how a couple of guys like you could hang out once in a while to get a break from the kids.

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Social media on its own is alright for keeping track of people you used to know, but it is no match for the live one-on-one hanging out you need to unwind and decompress from the stresses of everyday life.

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Call an Old Friend

Do you remember back when your life revolved around your friends? When hanging out with your peers was the norm? Maybe you are lucky enough to have an old friend who not only lives nearby, but also is a dad like you. Why not call him up (or Skype, or Facebook … you get the idea) and see what is going on in his life. Chances are good you will not only be able to relate, but also to commiserate and celebrate the ups and downs of life with small children. Social media on its own is alright for keeping track of people you used to know, but it is no match for the live one-on-one hanging out you need to unwind and decompress from the stress of everyday life. An old friend recently asked me to attend the August 7th Alice Cooper show at Moorhead’s Bluestem Center for the Arts and I was touched by the gesture. I didn’t even know I was an Alice Cooper fan, but now I can’t wait to throw on a leather jacket and go rock out with my old buddy. Do you have an old friend you have been meaning to get back in touch with? Give him a call already, and we’ll see you at the show.

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Hang Out With Your Brother

I tried to throw a party a few months back for some of the guys I hang out with online, but no one was going to make it. As I prepared for a pity party of one, my brother had an idea. Why not meet up with our other brother for a pub crawl through downtown Fargo? It is rare for the three of us to hang out without our respective families, but everyone agreed we could have a night on the town as long as we promised to come home. It was legendary. If you were at

Befriend Other Dads

The best way by far to meet other dads is to play with your kids. Take them to the park, go swimming at the local pool, watch them climb around on the dinosaurs at West Acres, and you are bound to encounter other dads roughly your own age. The big payoff here is a two-fer: your kids get friends to play with, you get a sympathetic ear for the bending––someone who knows exactly what it is like to clean poop out of a tub, frantically hunt for a misplaced blankey, or attempt to make a clean getaway from a store while a toddler siren wails

the Old Broadway near midnight and happened to see a geeky 30-something guy wearing sunglasses dancing his way through the crowds, please don’t mention it to my wife. Legendary. Which brings up another important element in nurturing your male friendships: If you expect to be out gallivanting with your brothers, friends, and buddies, you had better make sure your significant other is feeling very significant herself. When was the last time she had a professional massage? Does she need a new pair of boots to update her wardrobe? These are the right questions to ask before you make plans for a night out with the guys.

uncontrollably in the throes of a full-tilt tantrum. One of the best things about having dad friends is that you don’t have to be exactly like each other to enjoy each other’s company––sometimes having children is enough. Friends are constantly growing and changing, as are the kids, so it is OK to allow your social life to change with the times. Roll with it! When your old pal moves away, don’t despair. Just head to the park to let the kids play, say hi to the guys and see where it takes you. Lukas Brandon is a writer. He lives in Moorhead.

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YOUR FAMILY z consumer

By Heidi Tetzman aving or being a cosigner is a common practice when seeking a loan from a bank, but are you familiar with the ins and outs before taking the plunge? For some insight on what to know before signing on the dotted line, we talked to Eric Braun, Personal Banking Officer at State Bank and Trust in Fargo. Q: What is a cosigner, and when might someone need a cosigner? A: If someone doesn’t qualify for a loan on their own, a cosigner can be used to obtain one. A cosigner is typically used to establish credit, rather than used when someone has bad credit. There’s no hard credit score number where we say you don’t qualify, but if someone has collections or judgments against them, they must correct them before we will consider them for a loan, whether they have a cosigner or not. Q: What are some common scenarios when a cosigner is needed? A: Most often at our bank it’s for someone who hasn’t established credit yet, say a young person looking for a loan for a car or new furniture. Since cosigners are just as responsible for paying back the loan as the person originally seeking the loan, it’s usually a trusted relationship like a parent. They may also need collateral for the loan. For example, for a car loan, we can use the vehicle they are purchasing as collateral. Q: What should someone look for in a cosigner? A: The cosigner has to meet our criteria and qualify for the loan as well, so someone with established, good credit is a good candidate. If something goes wrong, there’s someone to fall back on, and the bank will still get paid. A lot of times it is the parents, or someone else willing to help build the borrower’s credit portfolio. Q: If you are asked to be a cosigner, what are the risks involved? A: Cosigners should understand that if the loan goes into default, it hurts their credit, too. Both the cosigner and the original person looking for the money are considered coborrowers. The cosigner is just as responsible for the loan. The cosigner goes through the same process to get approved for

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the loan, and all borrowers sign the same paperwork stating a payment of a certain amount is due every month. If a borrower stops or is having trouble making payments, we would make multiple attempts to contact a cosigner before the loan would go into default. Since missing payments can adversely affect a cosigner’s credit, it is in their interest to make sure the payments are made. The loan shows up on the signer and cosigner’s credit reports, so if it goes well, it is good for both the signer and cosigner’s credit. Q: Are there ways to get out of a loan you are a cosigner on? A: The only ways are to either pay off the loan, or for the other person to have the loan rewritten (if they qualify) so they are the only borrower on the loan. With bankruptcies it gets more complicated and depends on the type of bankruptcy and other factors. Q: What are some alternatives to obtain a loan if you do not have a suitable cosigner? A: Saving is always an option. Beyond that, if you’re not able to qualify for a loan, there may be places out there that will lend to you without a cosigner and will be willing to overlook lack of credit or bad credit, but the interest rate will most likely be through the roof. Another option that helps people build credit is a CDsecured loan. It’s a fully collateralized loan, which means if you want, for example, a $500 loan, you open a $500 CD. The CD matures at the same time the loan matures, and there’s no risk to the bank. It’s a good way to build credit that has a much lower interest rate than a credit card. Even if you start small, it shows you’re making payments on time, and it shows up on your credit report. Q. With the risk involved, why would someone want to be a cosigner? A. To help establish the credit of the person seeking the loan. If payments are made on time, it will help the cosigner’s credit, too. Your credit score may go down a few points when applying for a loan, but so much is factored into credit scoring, unless you’re applying for many loans at once, the effect is likely to be insignificant. Heidi Tetzman is a freelance writer. She lives in Fargo.

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This is an Advertisement

Support The Village and Earn Up To 40% in Tax Credit Frequently Asked Questions Q: What is a qualified endowment? A: A qualified endowment is an irrevocable fund held by a North Dakota incorporated or established organization that is a qualified nonprofit; or a bank or trust company holding the fund on behalf of a qualified nonprofit organization. Q: Does The Village have a qualified endowment fund? A: The Children’s Village Family Service Foundation is a qualified endowment fund, and the whole purpose of the foundation is to provide annual support to programs of The Village Family Service Center. Q: What Village programs benefit from charitable gifts to the Children’s VIllage Family Service Foundation? A: All of The Village programs benefit from charitable giving. These include: • Adoption Services • Big Brothers Big Sisters • Counseling Services • Family-Based Services • Family Group Decision Making • Financial Resource Center • Nokomis Child Care Centers • Pregnancy Counseling Services • The Village Business Institute • The Village Family Magazine

Both Individual and Business Gifts to the Children’s Village Family Service Foundation Qualify for North Dakota’s Expanded State Tax Credits Today, there’s never been a better time to show your commitment to North Dakota’s people, with a new, expanded state tax credit. This cutting-edge legislation was signed in April 2011, and is a rare achievement. The tax credit makes it possible for individuals and financial institutions to give more, and through their contributions, have a greater impact on the wellness of North Dakota’s people. In fact, an individual may receive a 40% tax credit for contributing $5,000 or more (lump sum or aggregate in one year) to a qualified North Dakota endowment like The Village. Likewise, financial institutions are now eligible for a tax credit for endowment gifts to qualified endowments, the same credit provided to other North Dakota businesses. The state income tax credit for businesses amounts to 40% of the value of the gift, up to $10,000 per year. Credit for Business Gifts to North Dakota Endowment Funds: What are the incentives? • State income tax credit of up to 40% of the value of the gift, with a maximum credit of $10,000 per year • Unused credit may be carried forward for up to 3 taxable years Which institutions qualify? • “C” corporations • “Pass-through” entities –Subchapter “S” corporations –Partnerships –Limited Liability companies • Estates (if the ﬁle an income tax return) • Trusts • Financial Institutions

Credit for Individuals: What are the incentives? • An individual may receive a 40% tax credit for contributions of $5,000 or more (lump sum or aggregate in one year) to a qualiﬁed endowment.* • Planned gifts by individuals qualify for a 40% income tax credit up to a maximum of $10,000 per year for individuals and up to $20,000 per year for married couples ﬁling jointly.

* This credit is available to those who itemize expenses on their taxes.

For more information on making a qualifying gift, contact The Village Family Service Center’s Development Office at 1-800-627-8220 or info@thevillagefamily.org. Learn about other gift planning options at www.TheVillageFamily.org/giftplanning

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August/September 17

Calendar

AUGUST 2011 EVENTS Fees may apply.

8.1 Monday • Phil Hansen Sportsmanship Kamp for Kids. 4-8 p.m., Fargo South Field, 1840 15th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-6060 or fargoparks.com 8.2 Tuesday • Park It. 1-4 p.m., McCormick Park, 2101 9th Ave. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Two o’Clock Tuesday Destination’s Imagination. For children entering grades 1-6. 2 p.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • “Into the Woods Junior.” Presented by Trollwood Performing Arts School. 7 p.m., Fargo South High School Theatre, 1840 S. 15th Ave., Fargo, 218477-6500 or trollwood.org • RedHawks vs. Wichita Wingnuts. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com

8.3 Wednesday •C hildren’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • “ Into the Woods Junior.” Presented by Trollwood Performing Arts School. 2 & 7 p.m., Fargo South High School Theatre, 1840 S. 15th Ave., Fargo, 218-477-6500 or trollwood.org •F amily Fun Concert. 7-8:30 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or fargoparks.com •R edHawks vs. Wichita Wingnuts. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • “ Rent,” by Jonathan Larson. 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701235-1901 or fmct.org •R ed River Valley Speedway Racing. 7:30 p.m., RRV Speedway, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, redrivervalleyspeedway.com 8.4 Thursday • Show and Tales. Enjoy a story and learn about the snakes. 1 & 3 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or redriverzoo.org •F armers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org •C ruisin’ Broadway. 5-9 p.m., downtown

Fargo, cruisinbroadway.com • RedHawks vs. Wichita Wingnuts. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • “Rent.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 8.5 Friday • RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • “Rent.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 8.6 Saturday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Fiber Arts Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Conservation Carnival. Enjoy a variety of activities and games while learning about conservation. 10 a.m.-6 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701277-9240 or redriverzoo.org • Children’s Storytime with Peter Rabbit. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • What’s in Your Backyard? Family Nature Discovery Day. 1-5 p.m., MB Johnson Park, 3601 N. 11th St., Moorhead, 218-299-5020 • Furry Friends Pet Walk. FM Adopt-A-Pet fundraiser. 5 p.m., Courts Plus Fitness Center, 3491 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-237-4805 or courtsplus.org • RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • “Rent.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 8.7 Sunday • Fiber Arts Festival. Noon-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com • RedHawks vs. Sioux Falls Pheasants. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • “Rent.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 8.8 Monday • WWII B-25 “Miss Mitchell” Tour & Rides. Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org 8.9 Tuesday • WWII B-25 “Miss Mitchell” Tour & Rides. Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org • Arc Awareness Day. Inflatable games, photo booth, face painting, door prizes, and more. Lunch will be served. 11 a.m.2 p.m., The Arc Attic Treasures, 3201

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43rd St. S., Fargo, 701-293-8191 or unitedvoices@arccassnd. com • Park It. 1-4 p.m., Roosevelt Park, 1220 9th St. N., Fargo, 701499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Two o’Clock Tuesday Destination’s Imagination. For children entering grades 1-6. 2 p.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • RiverArts. Carmen the Cactus in concert and Games Galore. 5:30-8:30 p.m., Memorial Park, 210 8th St. N., Moorhead, 218299-5340 • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 • Hawaiian Beach Blast. Music by the Front Fenders, inflatable games, and fun activities. Bring a lawn chair and/or blanket. 6-8 p.m., Rendezvous Park, 1055 32nd Ave. W., West Fargo, 701433-5360 or wfparks.org 8.10 Wednesday • WWII B-25 “Miss Mitchell” Tour & Rides. Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • West Fargo Parks Theater Performances. “Cinderella Caterpillar” at 6 p.m., “Crumpled Classics” at 7:30, Faith Lutheran Church, 127 2nd Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org

8.15 Monday • Fargo Rock Concert. 7-9 p.m., Dike West, 310 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com 8.16 Tuesday • Tuesday Tunes. 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m., Great Northern Park, 425 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Park It. 1-4 p.m., Centennial Park, 4101 25th St. S., Fargo, 701499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Two o’Clock Tuesday Destination’s Imagination. For children entering grades 1-6. 2 p.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • RedHawks vs. Sioux City Explorers. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com 8.17 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Rush Hour Music Series: Lori Thompson and Friends. 5:30-7 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 701 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or plainsart.org • RedHawks vs. Sioux City Explorers. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com • Red River Valley Speedway Racing. 7:30 p.m., RRV Speedway, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, redrivervalleyspeedway.com

8.11 Thursday 8.18 Thursday • Miracle Treat Day. Proceeds from Blizzard Treats at • RedHawks vs. Sioux City Explorers. 12:30 p.m., Newman participating Dairy Queens will benefit Sanford Children’s Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or hospital fmredhawks.com • WWII B-25 “Miss Mitchell” Tour & Rides. Fargo Air Museum, • Show and Tales. Enjoy a story and learn about the Bearded 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org Dragon. 1 & 3 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, • Community Play Day. 9-11 a.m. & 1-3 p.m., Rheault Farm, 701-277-9240 or redriverzoo.org 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com • Show and Tales. Enjoy a story and learn about the goats. 1 & 3 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or redriverzoo.org • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • West Fargo Parks Theater Performances. “Cinderella Caterpillar” at 6 p.m., “Crumpled Classics” at 7:30, Faith Lutheran Church, 127 2nd Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue’s “Meet the Dogs!” Visit dogs available for adoption. 6-8 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-281-8531 8.12 Friday • WWII B-25 “Miss Mitchell” Tour & Rides. Fargo Air Museum, 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org • RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks. com 8.13 Saturday • Fargo AirSho. Visit fargoairsho.com for information See ad on page 22 • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks. com 8.14 Sunday • Fargo AirSho. Visit fargoairsho.com for information. See ad on page 22 • RedHawks vs. St. Paul Saints. 6 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com

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August/September 2011

August events, cont. • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • West Fargo Parks Dog Show. 5:30-7:30 p.m., North Elmwood Park Shelter, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Bike Jamboree and Bike-In Movie Night. Open to all ages; children under 16 must be accompanied by an adult. Bike and art activities, 5:30-7:30 p.m., movie screening at 10 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 701 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or plainsart.org 8.20 Saturday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Pioneer Days at Bonanzaville. Weaving and woodcarving demonstrations, parade of vintage cars, and more. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or kgilbraith@bonanzaville.com

• Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com 8.21 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest. com. See ad on page 28 • Pioneer Days at Bonanzaville. Weaving and woodcarving demonstrations, parade of vintage cars, and more. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Bonanzaville, 1351 W. Main Ave., West Fargo, 701-282-2822 or kgilbraith@ bonanzaville.com • BMX Jam. 4:30 p.m., Dike West Skate Park, 310 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-4997788 or fargoparks.com 8.22 Monday • Dog Swim. 5-8 p.m., South Park wading pool, 2102 14th St. S., & Northeast Park wading pool, 1817 8th Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5340 8.23 Tuesday • Two o’Clock Tuesday Destination’s Imagination. For children entering grades 1-6. 2 p.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 • 2011 Mini-Streets Alive! 6-8 p.m., West Fargo, fmstreetsalive.org 8.24 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Cobber Corn Feed. For all Concordia alumni, students, parents, friends, and prospective students in the area. 5:30 p.m., Prexy’s Pond, Concordia, Moorhead • Red River Valley Speedway Racing. 7:30 p.m., RRV Speedway, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, redrivervalleyspeedway.com 8.25 Thursday • Show and Tales. Enjoy a story and learn about the camels. 1 & 3 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-2779240 or redriverzoo.org • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org 8.26 Friday • Potato Days Festival. Barnesville, Minn. Call 800-525-4901 or visit potatodays. com for details 8.27 Saturday • Potato Days Festival. Barnesville, Minn. Call 800-525-4901 or visit potatodays. com for details • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee,Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com. See ad on page 28 August events, continued on page 22

20 August/September 2011

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family

What scares one of football’s

toughest linebackers? Concussion in youth sports.

“I’m a big fan of how youth sports can help kids stay physically fit. But as an athlete and a parent, I’m also very concerned about safety. Millions of sports-related concussions happen every year and many go unrecognized. That’s alarming because the wrong treatment can slow recovery, worsen the condition, or lead to permanent damage. Please learn the facts about concussions and help protect our young athletes.” – Chad Greenway, Minnesota Vikings

Learn more at www.sanfordhealth.org/headsup

1100-10155-0661 7/11

August events, cont. • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Island Park Show. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 19 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • 4 Luv of Dog Rescue’s “Meet the Dogs!” Visit dogs available for adoption. 1-3 p.m., PetSmart, 1630 13th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-281-8531 • RedHawks vs. Kansas City T-Bones. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com 8.28 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Island Park Show. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Island Park, 302 7th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 29 • 2011 Streets Alive! Events in both Fargo and Moorhead. Noon-5 p.m. Visit fmstreetsalive.org for details • RedHawks vs. Kansas City T-Bones. 1 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com 8.29 Monday • RedHawks vs. Kansas City T-Bones. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com 8.30 Tuesday • Two o’Clock Tuesday Destination’s Imagination. For children entering grades 1-6. 2 p.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St.

22 August/September 2011

S., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • RedHawks vs. Kansas City T-Bones. 7:02 p.m., Newman Outdoor Field, 1515 15th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-235-6161 or fmredhawks.com 8.31 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Red River Valley Speedway Championship Racing. 7:30 p.m., RRV Speedway, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, redrivervalleyspeedway.com

SEPTEMBER 2011 EVENTS 9.1 Thursday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Cruisin’ Broadway. 5-9 p.m., downtown Fargo, cruisinbroadway.com 9.2 Friday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Gates open at 6 a.m., Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or rollag.com 9.3 Saturday • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Gates open at 6 a.m., Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or rollag.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org

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9.14 Wednesday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for details See ad on page 22 9.4 Sunday • Big Iron Farm Show. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Gates open Main Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-282-2200 or redrivervalleyfair.com at 6 a.m., Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or rollag.com • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 9.15 Thursday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for 9.5 Monday details See ad on page 22 • Western Minnesota Steam Threshers Reunion. Gates open • Big Iron Farm Show. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 at 6 a.m., Rollag, Minn., 701-212-2034 or rollag.com Main Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-282-2200 or redrivervalleyfair.com • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org See ad on page 28 • Music Theatre Fargo-Moorhead presents: “Chicago.” 7:30 9.6 Tuesday p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 9.16 Friday 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for 9.7 Wednesday details See ad on page 22 • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 • Music Theatre Fargo-Moorhead presents: “Chicago.” 7:30 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.8 Thursday 9.17 Saturday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood • Fall Rummage Sale. Antiques, crafts, collectibles, and garage parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or sale items. 7 a.m.-2 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena, 1201 7th wfparks.org Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • “Laugh Out Loud!” Presented by famed comedy troupe The 9.17 Saturday Second City. 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center • Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Registration at 8 a.m., walk/run for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or begins at 9, Rendezvous Park, 1055 32nd Ave W., West Fargo. mnstate.edu/perform Sign up at alz.org/mnnd 9.9 Friday • Ride the Red. Proceeds from this ride/walk benefit Hospice of • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for the Red River Valley. Check-in at 9 a.m., ride begins at 9:30, walk details See ad on page 22 at 9:45, Trefoil Park, 1321 Elm St. N., Fargo, hrrv.org 9.10 Saturday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for details See ad on page 22 • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Walk of Hope for Suicide Awareness and Remembrance. Registration at 1:30 p.m., walk begins at 2, Fargo Public Library Courtyard, 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-293-6462 • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Children’s Storytime with Biscuit. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com

9.11 Sunday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for details See ad on page 22 • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Grandparents’ Day. Free zoo admission for all grandparents. 10 a.m.-7 p.m., Red River Zoo, 4255 23rd Ave. S., Fargo, 701277-9240 or redriverzoo.org • “United: Heroes of Flight 93.” 2 & 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.12 Monday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for details See ad on page 22 9.13 Tuesday • Greater Moorhead Days. Visit cityofmoorhead.com/parks for details See ad on page 22 • Big Iron Farm Show. 9 a.m.-5 p.m., RRV Fairgrounds, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-282-2200 or redrivervalleyfair. com

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September events, cont. • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Fall Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 26 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Pigs ’n a Blanket. Quilt auction and dinner to benefit the Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch. 2 p.m. quilt preview, 2-6 p.m. buffet-style dinner, 5:30 p.m. live auction. Fargo Davies High School, 7150 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-364-0264 or dakotaranch.org See ad on page 25 • Music Theatre Fargo-Moorhead presents: “Chicago.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.18 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • 2011 Streets Alive! Events in both Fargo and Moorhead. Noon-5 p.m. Visit fmstreetsalive.org for details • Fall Festival. Noon-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 26 • Honkin’ Haulin’ Hands on Trucks. 1-3 p.m., Veterans Memorial Arena parking lot, 1201 7th Ave. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Music Theatre Fargo-Moorhead presents: “Chicago.” 2 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct. org 9.19 Monday • Outdoor Body Attack Party. 5:30 p.m., Courts Plus Fitness

24 August/September 2011

Center, 3491 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-237-4805 or courtsplus.org 9.20 Tuesday • FM Adopt-A-Pet Adoption Days. 6-8 p.m., PETCO, 1126 43rd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-232-5856 9.21 Wednesday • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Rush Hour Music Series: Connie Hill. 5:30-7 p.m., Plains Art Museum, 701 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or plainsart.org • “Roger Maris on Stage.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.22 Thursday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org 9.23 Friday • Bare Stage Theatre presents: “The 39 Steps.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.24 Saturday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 9 a.m.-1 p.m., South Elmwood parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Super Saturday Car Seat Check. Certified child passenger safety technicians will assist with car seat inspection and installation. Fun and games for the entire family. 10 a.m.-1 p.m., Kohl’s Department Store, 4444 13th Ave. S.W., Fargo • Fall Festival. 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S.,

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Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 26 • Children’s Storytime. 11 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • Autumn Pumpkin Party. Pumpkin painting, crafts, and games. 2-4 p.m., North Elmwood Park Shelter, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • “Roger Maris on Stage.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org • Bare Stage Theatre presents: “The 39 Steps.” 9 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.25 Sunday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com. See ad on page 28 • Fall Festival. Noon-5 p.m., Rheault Farm, 2902 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com See ad on page 26 • Out of the Darkness Community Walk. All ages event by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Check-in at 1 p.m., Lindenwood Park Main Shelter, 1701 5th St. S., Fargo. Register at outofthedarkness.org • Bare Stage Theatre presents: “The 39 Steps.” 2 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org 9.28 Wednesday • Discovering Local Food Solutions. 9 a.m.-3 p.m., Hjemkomst Center, 701-241-5700 • Children’s Storytime. 10 a.m., Barnes and Noble, 1201 42nd St. S.W., Fargo, 701-281-1002 or bn.com • “Cabaret.” 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or mnstate. edu/theatre 9.29 Thursday • Farmers Market & Beyond. 4-7 p.m., South Elmwood

parking lot, 500 13th Ave. W., West Fargo, 701-433-5360 or wfparks.org • Bare Stage Theatre presents: “The 39 Steps.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org • “Cabaret.” 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or mnstate.edu/theatre 9.30 Friday • Minnesota Renaissance Festival. 9 a.m.-7 p.m., Hwy 169 S., Shakopee, Minn., 800-966-8215 or renaissancefest.com See ad on page 28 • Bare Stage Theatre presents: “The 39 Steps.” 7:30 p.m., FMCT, 333 4th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-1901 or fmct.org • “Cabaret.” 7:30 p.m., Hansen Theatre, Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, Moorhead, 218-477-2271 or mnstate. edu/theatre • Red River Valley Speedway Harvest Classic. 7:30 p.m., RRV Speedway, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo, redrivervalleyspeedway.com

CLASSES Call for information. Pre-registration may be required. Children’s Museum at Yunker Farm 1201 28th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-6102 or childrensmuseum-yunker.org • Yunkie Club Early Childhood Family Education Probstfield Center for Education, 2410 14th St. S, Moorhead, 218-284-3400 or https://communityed.moorhead.k12.mn.us • Baby Connection (Birth-12 mos.) • Cooking With Kids (2 yrs-kindergarten entry) • Family Fun (Birth-kindergarten entry)

Join us at the 2011 Pigs ‘n a Blanket dinner and quilt auction!

Deadline to donate quilts is September 1. Seeking all sizes and colors. Theme, pieced and patterned quilts go well. Proceeds benefit programs for children at-risk, in residential treatment facilities in our communites.

New info for FARGO Pigs 2011: Saturday, September 17,

Fargo Davies High School, 7150 25 Street S.

Quilt Preview: 2-4 p.m.; Dinner: 4-6 p.m.; Live Auction : 5:30 p.m. Tickets at the door: $7/person $15 for families of 3+ Quilters please include contact info, and send or deliver to: DBGR Thrift Stores, OR Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch, Quilt Auction,300 45 ST SW, Suite #311 (Door D), Fargo, ND 58103. Call 701.364.0264 or visit www.dakotaranch.org/events .

Join us for family fun, great food, music and an opportunity to support Everyone’s Child at the Ranch. For info on other ways to help the children call 1-800-344-0957 or visit www.dakotaranch.org.

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Classes, cont. • Family Fun With Little Ones (Birth-3 yrs) • I Can Sing a Rainbow (24-48 mos.) • Monday Fun-day (Birth-kindergarten entry) • Ones and Twos (12-36 mos.) • Thrilling Threes (36-48 mos.) • Weird, Wild, Wacky Art (2½ yrs-kindergarten entry)

FirstLink 701-293-6462 or myfirstlink.org • Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)

Essentia Health OB Education 3000 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-364-8100 or essentiahealth.org. Call for class times and rooms. • Basic Training for New Dads • Birthing Center Tour • Car Seat Safety • Developing the Art of Breastfeeding • Great Expectations • Infant Massage • Lamaze • Tender Transitions

Hospice of the Red River Valley 1701 38th St. S., Fargo, 701-356-1500, 800-237-4629 or hrrv.org • Beyond Widowhood • Journeying Through Grief • Youth Journeys

Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org • Plane Camp Fargo Park District 701-499-7788 or fargoparks.com. Pre-registration required • Accelerated Artists • Intro to Scrapbooking • Me-n-My Shadow Fraser, Ltd. 2902 University Dr. S., Fargo, 701-232-3301 or fraserltd.org • CPR • First Aid

26 August/September 2011

Healing Arts Chiropractic 3240 15th St. S., Fargo, 701-451-9070 or info@ healingartschiropractic.com • How to Stay Young the First 100 Years

MS Society 800-344-4867 or myMSsociety.org • Newly Diagnosed with MS Informational Program Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or plainsart.org. Preregistration required. • Summer Art Camps Parenting Resource Center 701-241-5700 or ag.ndsu.edu/casscountyextension • Children in Self Care • Nurturing Program • Parents Forever • The Nurtured Heart Approach Permanent Family Resource Center 218-998-3400 or permanentfamily.org Red River Zoo 4220 21st Ave. S., Fargo, 701-277-9240 or redriverzoo.org • ZOOniversity

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Sanford Health 1711 S. University Dr., Fargo, 701-234-5570, 877-234-4240 or Sanfordhealth.org • Are Your Kids Riding Safely? • Baby Signs • Breastfeeding Beginnings • Caring for Your Newborn • Car Seat 101 • Family and Friends—CPR • Heartsaver CPR Day Care Providers • Infant Massage • Lamaze • Living Well Workshop • Our Family is Having a Baby! • Sanford Weight Loss Surgery Informational Seminar • Your Labor Experience—What to Expect

• Summer Reading Program Wrap-Up Party. Aug. 4, 2 p.m. • Free Friday Movies. Aug. 5, Noon & 3 p.m. • Pajama Jamboree Family Storytime. Feel free to wear your PJ’s. Aug. 8 & Sept. 12, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Begins Sept. 12 • Crafts for Teens. Sept. 15, 4 p.m. • Saturday Storytime. ASL interpreter provided. Sept. 17, 10 a.m. • “Minute to Win It” for Teens. Sept. 29, 4 p.m.

The Village Financial Resource Center 1201 25th St. S., Fargo, 701-235-3328 or HelpWithMoney.org. Call or go online for class locations, dates, and other information • Bankruptcy Education • Homebuyer Education • Tenant Education

Dr. James Carlson Library 2801 32nd Ave. S., Fargo, 701-476-4040 or fargolibrary.org • Teen Art Show & Book Swap. Enter your art projects and swap books with others. Aug. 4, 6 p.m. • Free Friday Movies. Aug. 5, 1 p.m. • Pajama Jamboree Family Storytime. Feel free to wear your PJ’s. Aug. 11 & Sept. 8, 6:30 p.m. • Saturday Storytime. Sept. 10, 10 a.m. • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Begins Sept. 12 • Crafts for Teens. Sept. 13, 4 p.m. • Teen LEGO Design Contest. For teens ages 12 and up. Sept. 19, 2 p.m. • “Minute to Win It” for Teens. Sept. 27, 4 p.m.

PUBLIC LIBRARIES Call or visit your local library for more information or to register.

Northport Branch 2714 N. Broadway, Fargo, 701-476-4026 or fargolibrary.org • Storytime for Toddlers & Preschoolers. Begins Sept. 12

Fargo Public Main Library 102 3rd St. N., Fargo, 701-241-1492, 701-241-1495 or fargolibrary.org • Teen Art Show & Book Swap. Enter your art projects and swap books with others. Aug. 2, 6 p.m. • Storytime with Captain Jeff. Aug. 3, 2 p.m.

West Fargo Public Library 109 3rd St. E., West Fargo, 701-433-5460 or westfargolibrary.org • Children’s Storytime. Tuesdays, 1:30 p.m. & Thursdays, 6:30 p.m. • Knitty Giddy. Adult group, bring your own supplies. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.

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Libraries, cont. • Friday Morning Movies. For preschoolers and younger children and caretakers. Fridays, 10:30 a.m. • Saturday Movie Mania. Family-friendly movies. Saturdays, 2 p.m. • Maize Mouse Breath. Come and meet Maize, a six-foot long live corn snake. Open to all. Aug. 18, 6:30-7:30 p.m. • Board Games & Legos. Open to all ages. Aug. 25 & Sept. 22, 7-8 p.m. • Video Gaming. Wii, Guitar Hero and Kinect. All ages. Aug. 29 & Sept. 26, 6:30-8:30 p.m. • Biscuit the Dog Visits Storytime. Sept. 1, 6:30-7 p.m. • Homework Center Open House. Sept. 12, 7-8 p.m. • Homework Center. Begins Sept. 13, 3-5:30 p.m., Monday through Thursday on days that school is in session • Technology Classes. Call for class descriptions, dates, and times Moorhead Public Library 118 5th St. S., Moorhead, 218-233-7594 or larl.org • Scrabble Night. All ages and skill levels welcome. Mondays, 6:30 p.m. • Chess Night. All ages and skill levels welcome. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. • Storytime. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m. & Wednesdays, 10:30 a.m. • Family Craft Night. Tuesdays following Storytime • Wii Wednesdays. Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m. • Baby Bounce Storytime. Parents and babies up to age two. Thursdays, 10 a.m. • Youth Summer Reading Program Activities. Aug. 3, 10, 17, 24, 2 p.m. • Teen Summer Reading Program Activities. Aug. 4, 20, 22, 2 p.m. • LEGO Club. Aug. 25 & Sept. 22, 6 p.m.

28 August/September 2011

• Youth Book Club. Sept. 3, 2 p.m. • Movie & Discussion. Watch and discuss a controversial film about the American educational system. Sept. 17, 2 p.m. • Jane Austen Book Club: “Pride and Prejudice.” Sept. 20, 7 p.m. • OverDrive Downloadable eBooks & Audiobooks Instruction. Sept. 26, 6:30-8 p.m. & Sept. 28, 2-3:30 p.m. • Computer Classes. Call for class descriptions, dates, and times

SUPPORT GROUPS Please visit villagefamilymag.org for support group listings. MUSEUMS & EXHIBITS Call for additional information. Concordia College Cyrus M. Running Gallery 901 8th St. S., Moorhead, 218-299-4623 Fargo Air Museum 1609 19th Ave. N., Fargo, 701-293-8043 or fargoairmuseum.org Historical & Cultural Society of Clay County Hjemkomst Center, 202 1st Ave. N., Moorhead, 218-299-5511 or hcscconline.org • Aftermath: Images from Ground Zero; Photographs of Joel Meyerowitz. Ends Sept. 11 • Red River Watercolor Society National Juried Show. Ends Sept. 18 • Quilt National ’09. Begins Sept. 15. Reception, Sept. 18, 2-5 p.m. See ad on page 25 • A frican Soul, American Heart: Images of Duk Payuel, Sudan. Begins Sept. 27. Reception, Sept. 27, 5-7 p.m. See ad on page 25

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MSUM Art Gallery Roland Dille Center for the Arts, MSUM, 1104 7th Ave. S., Moorhead, 218-4772284 or mnstate.edu/art/Gallery.shtml • Back in the New York Groove: Work from the Summer New York Art Experience. Aug. 22-Sept. 7. Reception, Sept. 9, 4-6 p.m. • Anamnesis: Naomi RaMona Schielsman & Keith W. C. Lemley. Begins Sept. 12. Reception, Sept. 15, 4-6 p.m.

•G eorge Pfeifer: Recent Paintings and Watercolors. Ends Aug. 21 • “ Drawn to the West: The Life & Art of William Perl.” Ends Sept. 12 The Spirit Room 111 Broadway, Fargo, 701-2370230 or spiritroom.net

Plains Art Museum 704 1st Ave. N., Fargo, 701-232-3821 or plainsart.org • Collectors Humble and Extraordinaire: The Herbert and Dorothy Vogel Gift. Ends Aug. 14 • Chris Walla: Wait and See • Thomas Rex Kemmer: Local Spots. Ends Aug. 28 • Big Country: FMVA Scale the Plains. Ends Sept. 4 • The Frederick B. Scheel Photography Collection. Ends Sept. 24 • See Acts of Audacious Daring! The Circus World of Judy Onofrio. Begins Sept. 25. Reception, Sept. 25, 2-5 p.m.

Do you have an awesome family-friendly event or class you’d like to add to The Village Family Magazine? The Village Family Magazine and VFM online are always looking for great events and fun for the whole family. If you’d like to submit your event or class to our OCTOBER/NOVEMBER calendar, please email Shayna at shendricksen@thevillagefamily. org. Deadline for submissions to the OCTOBER/ NOVEMBER issue is SEPTEMBER 1. Please include the full title and description of your event, along with contact information and a web address.

I lost 70 tackle boxes worth of weight! Time on the water was waiting. Time spent outdoors with his two daughters was waiting. Travis Smith’s life was waiting. But at 342 pounds, Travis had no energy. He went fishing for information and found the weight loss surgery program at Sanford Health. It helped him reel in bad habits and hook on to a healthy lifestyle. Life’s waiting.

The Rourke Museum: 521 Main Ave., Moorhead, Gallery: 523 S. 4th St., Moorhead, 218236-8861 or rourkeart.org

Become a

• Outstanding opportunities in the healthcare industry • Designed for those entering a nursing career or working in a long-term care facility • New classes begin every 6 weeks

1305 19th Avenue North

ndscs.edu/fargo

100-10155-0629 06/11

Certified Nurse Assistant (CNA)

(keyword: weight loss seminar)

701-231-6900

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YOUR FAMILY z wellness

What? Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Good Bacteria? By Janelle Brandon

30 August/September 2011

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Around 400 B.C., Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine, proclaimed, “All disease begins in the gut.” More than 2,500 years later, there still may be truth to his declaration. An unhealthy gut (more commonly known as everything that comprises the stomach and intestines) may contribute to diabetes, obesity, rheumatoid arthritis, depression, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Adding probiotics into the diet, also called “friendly bacteria” or “good bacteria,” may restore and maintain a healthy digestive tract and keep many diseases at bay.

he National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine defines probiotics as live microorganisms that are similar to beneficial microorganisms found in the human gut (all that stuff in your tummy). Probiotics are found in foods such as yogurt and are also commonly taken in supplement form. Researchers are exploring whether probiotics could halt unfriendly microorganisms like disease-causing bacteria, yeasts, fungi, and parasites and possibly suppress their growth and activity in conditions such as infectious diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome, tooth decay, periodontal disease, and many others. Darlene Kruger, Registered Dietitian and Nutrition Therapy Manager for Sanford Health in Fargo, recommends probiotics to her patients to improve their health. “Probiotics may improve Irritable Bowel Syndrome and other intestinal disorders,” Kruger says. Skip the Latte and Take a Probiotic! Dr. Amy Cortese, chiropractor, acupuncturist, and owner of Body in Balance Chiropractic in South Fargo, provides her patients with chiropractic services and nutritional advice to help them reach and maintain their health and wellness goals. Cortese treats many ailments, including those described by a recent patient who complained of chronic headaches. When Cortese talked with her about her medical history, the patient revealed she’d gone to the doctor frequently for stomach problems. The doctor diagnosed her with Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Her symptoms included bloating, intense stomach cramps after eating certain foods (processed foods, dairy, or gluten), and constipation. “She told me she was lucky if she had one bowel movement a week, and one of her mechanisms for coping with the constipation was laxatives or Starbucks,” Cortese says. Cortese suggested diet changes her patient could make and also recommended her patient start a food and symptom journal. The patient also started taking probiotics that very same day. Continued on next page

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When asked if probiotics have any adverse side effects, Cortese says most of her patients taking a highquality supplement and following the proper dosage guidelines don’t seem to have many side effects. The most common side effect is bloating or diarrhea. As with any nutritional/dietary supplement, it is always important to speak with a qualified health professional about the use of the product so they can help you obtain a professional grade supplement. “My patient never looked back,” Cortese says. “After about six weeks she told me, ‘I certainly don’t spend much money at Starbucks anymore,’ and that she was feeling less bloated, more regular and had more energy.” As a means to help her patients meet and maintain nutrition goals, Cortese recommends probiotics as an excellent supplement to improve and maintain overall health. “I recommend probiotics to almost all of my patients, especially those who have digestive system complaints and those prone to getting sick a lot,” Cortese says. “Especially those who have ever taken antibiotics.” Anti-Antibiotics Good bacteria surround most bodily orifices, the skin, the upper respiratory tract, and digestive system. The digestive system relies on healthy bacteria to aid in digestion and immunity. Many times, the good bacteria are compromised after a round of antibiotics (often thought to be one of the reasons patients can experience diarrhea as an unwanted side effect of antibiotic treatment). Overgrowth of certain fungi, yeast, and other parasites can also upset the amount of good bacteria in the body. Kruger recommends probiotics to her patients if they have been taking antibiotics. “We give probiotics to those in intensive care because of the large use of antibiotics in these patients,” says Kruger. When asked if probiotics have any adverse side effects, Cortese says most of her patients taking a high-quality supplement and following the proper dosage guidelines don’t seem to have many side effects. The most common side effect is bloating or diarrhea. Kruger cautions use of probiotics in people who have a very weak immune system. Probiotics are not recommended for people who have acute pancreatitis. She also urges patients to check with their health care provider if concerned about any risk. “As a general statement, I can’t recommend that all people should take probiotics,” says Kruger. “There is still a lot we don’t know regarding the effect of probiotics. For most individuals, it may have benefit and the risk is low.” As with any nutritional/dietary supplement, it is always important to speak with a qualified health professional about the use of the product

32 August/September 2011

Do you need probiotics? If you are wondering if you should take a probiotic supplement, take this simple quiz. If you answer yes to at least half of the questions, you may consider adding a probiotic to your diet regimen. yes no Have you been on an antibiotic within the past year? Are you under stress that interrupts the quality of your life? Do you eat poorly several times a week? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle with very little physical activity? Have you been diagnosed with a serious illness within the past 12 months? Have you experienced diarrhea or constipation within the past three months? Have you had a urinary tract infection within the past three months? Do you have food allergies, outdoor allergies, or asthma? Do you have acne, eczema, or other skin problems? Do you ever experience heartburn, gas, or bloating after you eat? Do you frequently get colds and flu? Do you travel frequently? Are you overweight by at least 10 pounds? Do you have a family history of cancer, heart disease, or diabetes? * Reprinted from drohhiraprobiotics.com

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Foods with Probiotics Yogurt

Yogurt typically contains live and active bacteria cultures classified as probiotics. The bacteria have to be alive and active to provide probiotic benefits so check the label before purchasing.

Kefir

Kefir, a yogurt drink made from fermenting milk with kefir grains, provides plenty of probiotics.â&#x20AC;¨

Kombucha

Kombucha, a tea fermented with a symbiotic bacteria culture and yeast, is available in specialty health food stores.â&#x20AC;¨

Tempeh

Tempeh are fermented cakes made out of soybeans mixed with millet or rice. These nutty flavored cakes provide you with protein along with probiotics.

Kimchi

Kimchi, a Korean probiotic food made with pickled vegetables, typically contains cabbage, radish, pepper flakes, garlic, carrots, and a fish sauce.

Sauerkraut

Sauerkraut is another probiotic food made from fermented and pickled cabbage.

Miso

Miso, a popular Japanese food made from fermenting soybeans with the fungus koji, is available in most supermarkets.

so they can help you obtain a professional grade supplement. Scientists and researchers continue to study the effectiveness of probiotics. For example, Tulane University is looking at whether or not probiotic agents treat diarrhea in undernourished children in developing countries. And the Mayo Clinic is looking into the possibility of probiotics decreasing the levels of certain substances in the urine that cause kidney stones.

Seventy to 80 percent of the immune systemâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to fight and stave off infection and disease emanates in the digestive tract. By maintaining healthy bacteria in the intestines, the entire body reaps the benefits. Raise the number of healthy bacteria in the gut by eating foods containing probiotics to protect and repair immunity. Janelle Brandon is a freelance writer. She lives in Moorhead.

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August/September 2011

YOUR FAMILY z parenting

By Michele Ranard

e all want to provide our preschoolers with opportunities leading to later academic success. But as well-meaning parents, sometimes we’re vulnerable to thinking “inside information” or alternative fast tracks will get us there. Research and advice from early childhood experts on emerging literacy is more reliable than the latest hype. The advice doesn’t often have a sexy ring to it, but these professionals suggest the best foundation––those steps that lead your child to the point she’s ready to read––comes from daily experiences at home. In “Children’s Learning Opportunities Report,” Carl Dunst conceptualizes the opportunities for language development and early literacy in terms of incidental and intentional opportunities. Incidental opportunities might include watching leaves blow while on a walk, blowing on food when it’s too hot, or talking about body parts during bath time. Intentional activities might include story hour at the library or a trip to the zoo. Dunst says children need activity settings matched to their interests and competencies to practice existing skills and learn new abilities. Tip No. 1: Identify Your Child’s Interests The Village Family Service Center’s early childhood experts emphasize to parents that it is important to identify your child’s interests because it makes learning easier and more fun. “Children won’t have to work as hard to get ‘into’ learning if it is a subject they really enjoy,” says Kelly Olson, regional director

34 August/September 2011

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It’s important that your child sees you reading. At home, point out that you are reading the newspaper or a recipe. On car rides, be intentional as you point out signs on the road or the names on storefronts. It’s also important to write and draw with your child. For example, when children draw pictures, their verbal comments can regularly be written on the page and read aloud.

and in-office counselor at The Village in Moorhead. For example, having a boy read a “typical girl” book versus spy, pirate, or adventure books could greatly increase his resistance to learning. “Having a parent spend time with a child doing or researching a topic they enjoy is also very rewarding for a child,” Olson says. “Children love spending time with their parents and will love it when their parents are participating or talking about topics they enjoy.” Olson says this acts as a natural reinforcer for the child. When identifying your child’s interests, ask yourself the following questions: • What makes your child smile or laugh? • What makes your child happy? • What are your child’s favorite things? • What is enjoyable to your child? • What does your child work hard at doing? Tip No. 2: Identify Talents Once you figure out your child’s interests, Olson says, try to create opportunities to explore these interests. “These opportunities might be museums or books about dinosaurs, special reading times at Barnes and Noble with a special author,” she says. When identifying your child’s competencies, ask yourself the following questions: • What gets and keeps your child’s attention? • What is your child good at doing? • What “brings out the best” in your child? • What does your child like to do a lot? • What gets your child to try new things?

Everyday Learning Gives Them an Edge It’s the everyday stuff! Repetition during meal time, bath time, diaper changes, and bedtime story routines primes young children for later school success. Sound lazy or too simple? It’s huge. Rosenkoetter and Barton’s “Bridges to Literacy: Early Routines That Promote Later School Success,” encourages parents to think of building bridges to literacy by providing experiences that include “print, responsiveness, repetition, modeling and motivation, and oral language.” “Lots of preschoolers like shows like ‘Dora and Diego’ and ‘Thomas the Train’––having books that have their favorite characters can be a powerful motivator,” says Shannon Grave, an in-office counselor and autism spectrum disorders specialist at The Village. “Of course, seeing their parents read is a huge factor as well. Parents who read are indeed more likely to have children who read.” Tip No. 3: Think Print Reading time may be brief but must happen everyday. Reading helps kids explore new worlds, laugh across generations, and learn about amazing and ordinary things. Sharing stories can be a balm for irritable or fussy children. Rosenkoetter and Barton indicate: “Shared reading also provides security and calms children’s restlessness.” Reading together should be relaxing and fun. It is not just about the exposure to language, but it’s also about creating happy reading memories which set the stage for a love of reading. Tip No. 4: Be Responsive For early literacy, you want your

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child to learn that language is fun, she can do it well, and she can get results from using it. When your child speaks, help her feel successful by giving her attention and lots of positive affirmation. Tip No. 5: Provide Routine Provide routine schedules that use familiar phrases (such as “let’s have some lunch” or “scrub-a-dub-dub”) and cues at key times during the day. Nap and bedtime routines should be kept the same, and reading the same book over and over helps strengthen the foundation for later academic success. Tip No. 6: Be a Consistent Model and Motivator It’s important that your child sees you reading. At home, point out that you are reading the newspaper or a recipe. On car rides, be intentional as you point out signs on the road or the names on storefronts. It’s also important to write and draw with your child. For example, when children draw pictures, their verbal comments can regularly be written on the page and read aloud. Tip No. 7: Talk Quantity matters, so talk a lot. You want to expose your child to as many words an hour as possible. Talk to your child during work and play. Chitchat has a big payoff and translates into broader vocabularies and higher levels of reading later. As parents we can help them read their world long before they learn to read. Michele Ranard has been helping students and families as a private tutor for a decade. She has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling.

August/September 2011

FA M R U YO

36 August/September 2011

I LY z

nti pare

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By Meredith Holt Make the most of back-to-school night by coming prepared with an idea of what you’d like to learn about the new teacher. •C onsider making contact before school begins or shortly afterward to establish a connection early on. •F ind out which method of communication your child’s teacher prefers, whether it’s email, a phone call, or a face-to-face meeting, and use it. “Personally, email is the most convenient, and for more serious issues, a phone call would be more appropriate,” says Gavin Ganab, a fourth-grade teacher at Robert Asp Elementary in Moorhead.

What Parents Should Know

Most teachers are open to questions and encourage their students’ parents to get to know them. “I want parents to know they are welcome to ask questions and learn as much as they can about their child’s upcoming teacher,” says Becky Anderson, a third-grade teacher at Robert Asp. Start with their professional background. Anderson suggests asking: • How long have you been teaching? • Have you taught elsewhere? • Where did you go to college? • What are your favorite subjects to teach? • Which areas interest you most? • What is your teaching style or philosophy? • Do you adhere to a particular teaching method? Classroom environment Lisa Kornkven, a music teacher at McKinley Elementary in Fargo, suggests parents ask about the type of classroom environment the teacher hopes to foster. “Will it be open and informal? Structured and orderly?” she says. Knowing the type of environment in which your children will spend a large chunk of time will help you guide them as they navigate the new classroom environment. How you can help. Ask what you can do at home to support your child’s education, and check in with the teacher periodically. Homework • How much homework can be expected? • How are assignments graded? How you can get involved. If you’re interested in volunteering, keep tabs on classroom parties, events, and field trips, Ganab suggests. Testing When are the big state tests, which subjects do they assess, and what are the target scores? “Knowing those benchmarks would be a good idea,” Ganab says. Behavior plan “Parents should also ask about the school’s behavior plan and consequences for misbehavior,” he says. Kids, too, want to know what happens if they get in trouble. Personality “It’s also nice when parents make an effort to find out something about the teacher’s personality, such as what does he or she like to do during the weekend? What hobbies or activities does the teacher pursue?” Kornkven says. Continued on next page

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Knowing the type of environment in which your children will spend a large chunk of time will help you guide them as they navigate the new classroom environment.

August/September 2011

Other ideas: Where did you grow up? Do you have children of your own? Remember, you’re in this together. “Parents need to look at the teacher as a partner in educating their child, working and supporting each other as a team,” Kornkven says. Getting to know your child’s new teacher will open up the lines of communication and only benefit your child in the end.

What Students Want to Know About Teacher

Children, as well as parents, should ask what the teacher expects from them and what they should expect from the teacher. “Setting boundaries and establishing clear expectations can go a long way in making for a smooth transition into the new school year,” Kornkven says. Ganab says students most often ask him how they can earn rewards, how they can help in the classroom, and how computer time is divided. “Children love to learn about their new teachers. They love to hear stories about their teachers’ families, kids, travels, pets, past classes, likes and dislikes, and anything that will help create a special bond between the teacher and student,” Anderson says. Students should find out what they have in common with their teacher. How many siblings do they have? Do they like sports? Video games? Reading? Singing? “Finding that personal connection really helps students see that their teachers are human beings with feelings and a life outside the classroom,” Kornkven says.

38 August/September 2011

What Teachers Want to Know About Your Child

Teachers should find out what a child’s strengths and weaknesses are. What is your child good at? In which areas does he or she struggle? Are there behavioral patterns to watch out for? If your child has learning disorders, medical issues, or allergies, make them known. Do they need preferential seating because of hearing or vision problems? “Teachers also appreciate getting feedback about a particular lesson or activity they did in the classroom, especially when a student really ‘clicked’ with it,” Kornkven says. The more they know, the better. “As a teacher, I love to know lots of information about my students. It’s quite easy for teachers to look through files and find academic data and information on students, but it’s the more personal ‘stuff’ that helps create the student/teacher relationship,” Anderson says. She suggests asking: • What do you want to be called? • Do you go by a nickname? • What is your favorite subject in school? • What are you really good at in school? • What do you hope to get better at this year? • What do you like to do outside of school? • How will you be getting home every day? • Do you go to a day care after school? • Tell me about your family, brothers and sisters, and pets. Kids will likely be more than happy to oblige! Meredith Holt is a writer. She lives in Fargo.

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5-2-1-0: A Code for Better Health

magine a secret code that unlocks a rainbow land of fun and good health … helps your kids stay strong, fit, ready for every adventure … energizes them to play all day long … puts their minds in gear and ready to learn. Welcome to the amazing world of 5-21-0! And there’s no time like summer to start this simple, proven strategy: • 5 servings (1/2 cup) of fruits and veggies • 2 hours or less of screen time (TV, computer, video games) • 1 hour of physical activity • 0 sugary drinks “Of all the children’s health initiatives out there right now, 5-2-1-0 is the one that gives the most bang for the buck,” says Dr. Chris Tiongson, pediatrician at Sanford Children’s in Fargo. He and Sanford pediatricians have promoted the program to kids and families since 2008. The need for 5-2-1-0 stems from the significant increase in childhood obesity across the nation. This in turn leads to earlier onset of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and heart disease. “Statistics bear out that kids today are heavier and end up with weight-related problems at a younger age,” says Dr. Tiongson. “If this trend continues, we’ll have a generation of kids whose life expectancy will be shorter than their parents.” Quality of life suffers, too. Obesity makes physical activity difficult and can impact emotional health. “You can’t ignore the fact that sometimes kids get bullied and teased simply because of their size,” says Dr. Tiongson. 5 fruits and veggies? Discover summer’s wonders Summer’s a great time to let your kids

to weave activity into your family’s life––the parks, the lakes, the baseball diamonds,” says Dr. Tiongson. “It’s a great time of the year to get out and have fun.” Zero pop? “Drinkable sugar is a sneaky sugar,” says Dr. Tiongson. “Studies on kids who drank pop an hour before dinner showed they ate more calories than if they hadn’t had the pop.” Instead of pop or those sugar-laden sports drinks, choose water and reducedfat milk. Tips for launching 5-2-1-0 • Do it together! “Kids are smart. They’ll notice if Mom and Dad aren’t eating their fruits and vegetables,” says Dr. Tiongson. • Be consistent but reasonable. “Focus on what’s going well,” he says. “Encourage rather than judge.” • Start with one of the four, then add another. “Let one success build on the next,” says Dr. Tiongson. 5-2-1-0 … your secret code to summer fun––and lifelong health. And one more secret: It opens a world of possibilities for grown-ups, too!

explore the huge assortment of bright melons, interesting berries, even funnyshaped vegetables. “You might even choose to grow your own,” says Dr. Tiongson. “Sometimes kids are more likely to try a fruit or vegetable they’ve grown themselves rather than one that magically appears on the table.” Just 2 hours of screen time? Just five fruits and vegetables can be a challenge for the younger kids, but limiting screen time is the biggest challenge for older ones. “It tends to be easier if kids don’t have TVs in their bedrooms and never have had, but sometimes it just comes down to choices,” says Dr. Tiongson. “If my son wants to watch the baseball game and play video games, there’s only so much screen time, so he’ll have to choose.” One hour of fun! An hour on a treadmill or exercise bike sounds yucky. But in 5-2-1-0 land, an hour of activity means playing catch in the backyard. Walking the dog. Flying a kite. Going on a nature hike. “In summer there are so many ways

This Medical Update was brought to you by Sanford Health. For more information about Sanford, family TheVillageFamily.org Family TheVillageFamily.org visit www.sanfordhealth.org family family TheVillageFamily.org TheVillageFamily.org

De-

YOUR FAMILY z spirituality

Why It’s Natural to Feel Fear By Lonna Whiting Illustration by 5 Foot 20 Design Studio hen I was 11 years old, Ryan White died of AIDS. Media reports of Ryan’s heroic journey were all over the news. AIDS was the latest object of anxiety and fear that swept the world into a frenzy of blood tests, anti-needle sharing, and free condom campaigns. The story of Ryan, coupled by countless other accounts of AIDS victims, had me dizzy with anxiety about my uncertain future. It seemed nobody was safe in a world plagued by mysterious disease. One day, while playing tag in the park, I slipped on a wet patch of grass, catching myself on a wooden bench and getting a big sliver stuck in my thumb. I ran home for help. Mom got out a self-threading sewing needle she intended to use to extract the sliver. Immediately, the needle triggered in my brain the story of Ryan White. Ryan White sitting in his wheelchair wearing a baseball cap and smiling at the cameras. Ryan White dying while the whole world watched. No way would my mother get me to sit still while she poked away at my thumb with a needle. Not only did I fear feeling pain, but I also believed all people who used needles got AIDS. I couldn’t rationalize––nor could my mother console me with––the explanation that a sewing needle was far different than the kind that gave people AIDS. All needles had AIDS on them, and splinter or not, it would only be a matter of time before I’d get it, and then waste away. And then die. Today, the fact that I used to fear contracting AIDS from a sewing needle makes me cringe with embarrassment. But it’s a testament to the diverse and creative ways in which humans can feel fear. Irrational fear keeps many of us awake at night, or forces us to avoid situations in case there will be danger. It’s a builtin defense mechanism that makes us ask: “What if?” over and over again. While some fear is rational and helpful, some studies suggest about 90 percent of our fears are unrealistic. The Body’s Response to Fear Many fears are instinctual. If, say, we’re trapped on a desert island with poisonous snakes, we’re going to fear for our lives. “Once that fear instinct hits, it’s there,” Darrin Tonsfeldt, director of counseling services at The Village Family Service Center, says. “The adrenaline rushes, the fight-flight response kicks in.” It’s very helpful for the body to feel fear because it revs your system up to fight, flee, or freeze. These responses helped us survive thousands of years ago when we didn’t have the same defenses we enjoy today as modern humans. The physical reaction our bodies have to fear can be scary in and of themselves. When we feel fearful, many chemicals are being released in the body, some of which will help us escape the scary situation. The heart starts to race and pound in the chest, sweat glands turn on, eyes dilate, breathing shallows. We might feel dizzy, but we are very alert. We are ready to fight a predator, run away if we need to, or freeze in place to camouflage ourselves. It’s these exact physical

FEAR

A brief quiz taken by 100 Village Family Magazine Facebook fans shows how diverse fear can be. Here’s what the survey reveals: Out of the possible answers provided, what is your biggest fear? 18%

Heights Poverty

20%

Amphibians

20% 13%

Death Enclosed Spaces

11% 1%

Flying

17%

Other 0

“Fear is a legitimate reaction to dangerous situations. There are things to be afraid of, and it helps keep us safer. The problem comes when it’s unfounded or paralyzing. The simple but not easy way to deal with it to be able to react appropriately and push past it without necessarily ignoring it.” ––Anonymous survey comment When confronted with scary scenarios, how do you cope? I run away

35%

I avoid them

16%

I freeze in place

20%

I move along

20%

Other

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August/September 2011

Rules for Conquering Irrational Fear: • Remember, feelings of fear are just exaggerations of normal bodily stress reactions. • Sensations are neither harmful nor dangerous––just unpleasant. • Stop adding to the fear with frightening thoughts about where the fear will lead. Stay in the present. • Be aware of what is happening to you rather than worrying about how much worse it may get. responses that keep us on task while making a speech or help an athlete race to the finish line. Anxiety Disorders Sometimes, people’s reactions to fear make them feel as though they are going to have a heart attack, go crazy, or act out in some other violent way. This anxiety response often leads people to the emergency room, only to be diagnosed with a panic attack. Unfortunately, the same stress reactions we are supposed to reserve for actual threatening situations can be felt under totally safe environments, which is why anxiety disorders are one of the most common mental health diagnoses. Emotional symptoms of anxiety disorder include: • Feelings of apprehension or dread • Trouble concentrating • Feeling tense and jumpy • Anticipating the worst • Irritability • Restlessness • Watching for signs of danger • Feeling like your mind’s gone blank Physical symptoms of anxiety include: • Pounding heart • Sweating • Stomach upset • Dizziness • Frequent urination or diarrhea • Shortness of breath • Tremors and twitches • Muscle tension • Headaches • Fatigue • Insomnia Anxiety can be chronic, but it can also come on suddenly. If you’ve ever had an anxiety attack, you probably felt: • A surge of overwhelming panic • Feeling of losing control or going crazy • Heart palpitations or chest pain • Feeling like you’re going to pass out

42 August/September 2011

• Wait and give the fear time to pass. • Notice that when you stop adding to the fear with frightening thoughts, the fear begins to fade. • Focus on coping with and facing the fear rather than trying to avoid or escape from it. Look around you. Plan what you will do next as the fear subsides. • Think about the progress made so far, despite all the difficulties. When ready to move on, do so in an easy, relaxed manner. There is no hurry.

• Trouble breathing or choking sensations • Hyperventilation • Hot flashes • Trembling or shaking • Nausea or stomach cramps • Feeling detached or unreal Irrational Fears Some fears, as in many bizarre phobias, are so irrational that they are downright funny (as in my own ridiculous fear of frogs). A coworker told me a story of her friend who hides from the UPS delivery driver, cowering in the corner of her kitchen until she hears the truck descend down the street. There are other, equally fascinating things people fear. A carnophobic is someone afraid of meat. If you’re a little nervous reading this article about fear, you could be an epistemophobic; you fear knowledge. The list of psychologically recognized phobias is so lengthy, it seems a person can fear virtually anything—balloons, eyelashes, talking. And to those suffering from a phobia, the fear is very real, even though they know the object of their discomfort is most likely harmless. Phobias are not as rare as you think. According to a 2008 National Institute of Mental Health study, 8.7 percent of Americans over age 18 have a specific phobia. And they’re often difficult to treat. Many mental health professionals begin treatment with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which simply helps rewire the mind to think differently about the fearful situation using rationalization and relaxation techniques. “Usually, when someone has developed what others might consider a bizarre phobia, something must have happened in the past for them to react with alarm,” Tonsfeldt says. He says common phobias like the fear of flying are often relieved by learning the basic

physics of flying. The best way to overcome an irrational fear is to understand it. If you fear flying, for instance, simply learning about the basic mechanics of flight can be helpful. If you are afraid of spiders, learn about how they are helpful to the ecosystem, and creepy or not, they’re hardly ever poisonous. After gaining knowledge of a particular fear, experts suggest you imagine the worst possible scenario and write it down. Often the results are laughable, and you’ll realize how unnecessary it is to dwell on such discomfort. More importantly, however, is trying not to fight the fear. The more you wrestle with it, the more it’s going to grab hold of you. The Village Business Institute’s Darrin Tonsfeldt says, “Concentrate on what you will do after the fear passes,” a technique that helps the brain move forward, away from the fear. As for my own fear of contracting AIDS as a child, after I matured and learned about the odds of contracting it, the anxiety lessened and I no longer worried about it. Harold Kushner, author of “Conquering Fear,” suggests that overcoming both legitimate fear and imagined fear is about finding the right balance of knowledge. He says: “Sometimes our unrealistic fears are nourished by too much information. But sometimes our fears are nourished by too little information. If we knew more about what was happening and what the true extent of the danger was, we might fear it less. We might be able to see ourselves and our circumstances more clearly.” Readers can reach Lonna Whiting at magazine@thevillagefamily.org

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Spirituality and Fear In a Village Family Magazine Facebook post that posed the question, “Are you afraid to die?” one person replied: “Not in the least! I know that because of the gift of Jesus Christ that I don’t have to be afraid or even concerned.” Another wrote: “Not

What You Had to Say About Fear One hundred people responded anonymously to a VFM survey titled,“What are You Afraid Of?” Here’s what they said about fear:

afraid of death but am afraid of the stuff before the actual death part––pain, mostly.” More than 80 times in the Bible, God says, “Do not be afraid.” To be certain, spirituality allows us to cope with and understand what it means to live, to have pain, and to die.

“I do not think fear is a helpful emotion; it is a matter of trying to overcome it––the antithesis of fear is faith or confidence that one will get through any particular situation.”

Following in the footsteps of Christ, Allah, Buddha, or any other divine being is to boldly seek understanding of emotions like fear and death. Rabbi laureate Harold Kushner, author of the seminal book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” and more recently “Conquering Fear,” says: “Feeling scared reassures us that we are alive, that we are capable of feeling.

“Healthy fear can motivate action and prevent injury. However, fear often builds with avoidance and time. Fear can be unhealthy when it prevents us or others from achieving our goals, being the people we desire to be, or having the relationships we desire to have.”

Our goal should not be the absence of fear but the mastery of fear. … Recognize legitimate fears, dismiss exaggerated fears, and don’t let fear keep you from doing the things we yearn to do.” As much as fear is up for spiritual conversation, so is it a scientific one as well. In his book, “Fear Itself,” psychologist Rush Dozier, Jr. says, “Within the animal kingdom, we humans are the connoisseurs of fear. ... Because we are so

“Fear can be helpful when there is danger around or a potentially dangerous situation happening; it makes you more aware of your surroundings so you can act fast or protect yourself. It’s harmful when it is extreme or interferes with the normal functioning and/or enjoyment of life.”

unspecialized and vulnerable to every change in the climate, every predator, every disease.” No matter how we view fear––spiritually or scientifically––the emotion functions as both a motivator and a deterrent. Fear

“Fear can make you aware that your inner strength is much stronger than you anticipated and will help you grow stronger as a person.”

can be good and bad. Whether you feel scared every day, or it takes a near-death experience to cause you a fraction of fright, fear is both your friend and your foe. When you or a loved one feels afraid, the best thing you can do is to think or say calming, reassuring statements, such as, “This fear will pass,” and then concentrate on what you will do

“It’s an essential survival emotion when it is based on reality. Fear, whether it has a basis or not, can also keep us from functioning, making decisions, doing what is necessary for our health and safety.”

once it does. While we can’t avoid fearful situations, we can choose to learn from them new ways of coping and understanding the human experience. Kushner says, “We need to rely on the ultimate livability of a world in which bad things can and do

“Fear of moths is in no way helpful. I once tried to get out of a car going 70 mph. The worst part is my whole family was in it and I was driving. Thank goodness for seat belts.”

happen, but not nearly as often as we might think they do, and we need to know that, when we face our fears, we will not be facing them alone.”

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August/September 2011 43

Ask the Expert

HOME IMPROVEMENT

PLANNEd GIVING Janet Zinke

Development Officer The Village Family Service Center

Dave Larson

Attention to Detail Painting, Inc.

We would like to paint an accent wall a very dark color but know it will require several coats. Is there Q:any way around this, and why is this so?

I heard the North Dakota legislature changed something in its charitable giving laws but I can’t figure out what changed. What are the changes specific to individuals? The expanded state tax credit legislation was signed April 2011. The law expanded the 40% tax credit for individuals making planned gifts to a qualified North Dakota endowment like The Village Family Service Center. This means that now individuals can also make cash gifts of $5,000 or more and qualify for the tax credit––up to a maximum credit of $10,000 per individual or $20,000 per couple. (This credit is available to those who itemize expenses on their taxes.) Changes were also made to the corporate tax credit, and financial institutions are now eligible for a tax credit for endowment gifts, the same credit provided to other North Dakota businesses. For more information about how you can take advantage of this new legislation, contact me at 701-451-5036 or jzinke@thevillagefamily.org.

“All-In-One” primer/paint combinations should reduce the number of coats required. However, you may still have to apply three coats. Unfortunately, there’s no way around this. For most colors, the standard painting base (the paint prior to adding tint) is a white base. Since it’s white, no matter how much tint is added, it will only tint so dark, due to the foundation of white. With deep bases, they start as clear bases (paint prior to adding tint), so the deep intensities can be achieved. The drawback of using clears is that the base isn’t as opaque as the color white, so successive coats are required. Please contact us for product recommendations or other questions.

The Village Family Service Center 701-451-5036 TheVillageFamily.org

Attention to Detail • 701-729-3136 atdpinc.com

SUBSTANCE ABUSE

SENIOR HOUSING

Brenda Ross Phillips, LAC, LSW, Addiction Counselor

Alicia Gorder Marketing & Admissions Coordinator Eventide Senior Living Communities

ShareHouse-Genesis is Cross Addiction? Q:“IWhat know my marijuana use caused problems, but I never

A: had any trouble with alcohol.” This is a statement said often by recovering alcoholics or addicts early in

recovery. This is an issue called cross addiction. Cross addiction is simply an addiction to more than one drug or substance. People often overcome one addiction only to develop another months or even years later. Numerous studies suggest a common link in addiction by showing that people addicted to one substance are more likely to be addicted to others. The recovering alcoholic or addict may resort to another substance for the following reasons: • They may be self-medicating. • T hey haven’t fully addressed the underlying reasons for their addiction. •T hey thought life would be perfect if they could overcome an addiction, but found that life is still hard to manage, difficult or boring. Often the recovering alcoholic or addict will resort to a drug that was similar to their drug of choice. To deal with cross addiction, one must develop self-awareness, understand the nature of addiction, and continue to share difficult emotions or life situations by using individual therapy or support groups on an on-going basis.

ShareHouse, Inc. 701-478-8440 www.sharehouse.org

44 August/September 2011

you concerned about an aging parent living Q:Are alone?

At Eventide Fairmont, we can help provide peace of mind for you and your loved one. This historic landmark building offers assisted living apartments in a warm, welcoming community. Our dedicated staff care for each resident like part of the family, focusing on each person’s needs. We can help with medications, housekeeping, transportation to appointments and shopping, and generally make life easier and more fun. This month we’re busy with patio parties, concerts, a picnic lunch, a Redhawks game, Wii bowling, exercise classes, trips to the Dairy Queen and more. Coffee with a neighbor and a good card game are just steps away. Join us at our Pie & Ice Cream Social on August 17th from 2–4 pm. You’ll find an ideal blend of security and independence in a community that feels like home. Part of the Eventide family. Where caring comes to life.

Eventide at Fairmont 801 2nd Ave. N., Moorhead MN 56560 218-233-8022 www.eventide.org

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family

YOUR FAMILY z food & fun

Earring Holder

Food and Fun Editor Shayna’s raccoon was made with gray paint and shapes cut from construction paper. Her daughter, Kamia, used Styrofoam balls for eyes and paper triangles as teeth on her monster.

Cardboard Monsters

Cardboard sandwich container Paint and brushes Scissors Construction paper Glue Paint the inside and outside of the sandwich box and allow to dry. Create your own unique container using paint, construction paper, buttons, etc.

Picture frame Plastic canvas (available at craft stores) Scissors Craft glue Stickers Remove the back of the picture frame and the glass. Measure the inside of the frame and cut a piece of plastic canvas to fit. Glue the edges of the canvas to the inside of the frame. Let glue dry. Decorate frame with stickers. Insert earring posts through the canvas and attach earring backs to secure.

Strawberry Cocoa Smoothie

1 cup fresh or frozen (thawed) strawberries ½ cup almond milk 1 Tbsp. cocoa powder ½ cup lowfat vanilla yogurt 1 cup ice cubes Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.

family villagefamilymag.org

August/September 2011

YOUR FAMILY z words & wisdom “You must not for one instant give up the effort to build new lives for yourselves. Creativity means to push open the heavy, groaning doorway to life. This is not an easy struggle. Indeed, it may be the most difficult task in the world, for opening.” ~ Daisaku Ikeda “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. ... Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you will not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

46 August/September 2011

To Be Hopeful From Howard Zinn’s “You Can’t Be Neutral On a Moving Train” To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those

times and places––and there are so many––where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

Shoes

Author Unknown As Gandhi stepped aboard a train one day, one of his shoes slipped off and landed on the track. He was unable to retrieve it as the train was moving. To the amazement of his companions, Gandhi calmly took off his other shoe and threw it back along the track to land close to the first. Asked by a fellow passenger why he did so, Gandhi smiled. “The poor man who finds the shoes lying on the track,” he replied, “will now have a pair he can use.”

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Putting your rock star center stage Medicine is more than just our gig at Sanford Children’s. Backstage, we have the right teams whose expertise, courage and skill delivers the best outcomes and makes your child feel center stage. It’s our commitment to clinical excellence. So kids put their fears to rest, dream about a healthy future and, most importantly, are ready to rock. That’s the art and science of health care. Only at Sanford Children’s.

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