Gospel Grace

by Stacy Jo Coffee-Thorne

A Journey to Forgiveness

Salvation, for me, came at an early age. Having grown up in the church with parents who made sure I attended every Sunday and a grandma who would do Bible trivia with me on every car ride, it was clear to me early on that I was created to follow Jesus. I don’t have a “white light” story or an “ah-ha” moment that immediately turned me around. Mine is a story of unending grace and unconditional love that saw me through nearly forty years and a gradual turnaround to be who God created me to be.

After my parents’ ugly divorce and myriad life-altering events that led up to that, my life changed trajectory at the age of ten; all that I had known up to that point seemed to be nothing more than a distant and faint memory. Although church was still a huge part of my life, I began to wonder how God could have let all this happen. Fear, doubt, and lack of worth began to creep in, and by the time I was in my late teens, I had gone off the rails—sex, drugs, lots of alcohol, and rock 'n' roll took hold of me; I was living a life that was, in my mind, unworthy of love. I lost all vision for my future, and suicidal thoughts even crept in on occasion. But through it all, God’s grace and His hand of protection were always upon me.

I have often compared my journey to that of the Israelites as they made their way towards the Promised Land. After escaping from slavery in Egypt, the Israelites journeyed through the harsh wilderness for 40 years, during which they faced numerous challenges, including hunger, thirst, and internal strife. Despite their lack of obedience and continuous doubts, God continuously showed grace and provision to His people. He provided manna from heaven for sustenance and water from a rock when they were thirsty. Still, because of their disbelief and rebellion, a journey that should have taken them eleven days took 40 years—that was me!!

There is significance in all things, and in scripture, the number 40 means new life, new growth, transformation, and a change from one great task to another great task. When I moved to Florida, I was just short of my fortieth birthday. After two failed marriages and a lot of painful memories, leaving my hometown in Ohio seemed to be the right thing to do; I viewed Florida as my “Promised Land”—a place where God would provide all that I needed spiritually. And I will tell you that He certainly hasn’t disappointed!!

Next to recommitting my life to Jesus, marrying my husband, and giving birth to my four children, my move to Florida has been the best thing I have ever done. God has opened a whole new life with Jesus at the center, and my relationship with Him has grown exponentially. Things that I had never learned even after years in the church, including the FULL gospel of Christ—salvation, sanctification, healing, and the second coming of Christ—have now been brought to light, and I have adopted Romans 1:16, which says, For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes (NIV). But it took me some time to get to that place.

I had received the salvation and sanctification offered to me through the crucifixion of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, but you see, I had stopped there. I had not allowed Jesus to truly heal me from the inside out. Even though I had moved to Florida, and as I said before, it was the best move I ever made, I brought my baggage with me—the past, the hurts, the habits, and the hangups. I had never officially given them to Jesus, and the unforgiveness for myself and others was holding me back from all He had for me. I still didn’t believe I was worthy of more.

When I finally had this revelation and decided to allow Jesus to take my transgressions He had already died for, I stood empty-handed in a posture to receive His blessings. During that time, I was reminded that He had never left me or forsaken me, even when I was wandering in the wilderness for so many years. Through the process of inner healing, I have been able to see Jesus’ presence in each situation where I thought I was alone, and He allowed me to receive from Him a new experience to replace the old.

FOR I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL, BECAUSE IT IS THE POWER OF GOD THAT BRINGS SALVATION TO EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES. Romans 1:16 (NIV)

Since then, I have seen my life change drastically—from my marriage to my relationships with my children, to business, and now to ministry as my husband and I launch a recovery ministry, fully led by the Holy Spirit. But that is a story for another time.

My question for you today is: Are you carrying a burden you’re not meant to carry? If so, what is holding you back from giving that burden to Jesus? Perhaps like me, you are holding onto unforgiveness or resentment of yourself. I want to remind you that Romans 8:1 teaches, There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (NIV). If you are holding onto condemnation, you are basically saying that Jesus’ work on the cross was not good enough for you.

Forgiveness flows from Him to us and then to others—only in that order. Without receiving forgiveness from Him and extending that forgiveness to ourselves, we are unable to truly extend forgiveness to others. God wants us to be free of all unforgiveness and resentment, and the Holy Spirit wants to guide us to our Savior, Jesus Christ, so that we may experience His truth as we receive His forgiveness.

Are you ready to be free?

If you need prayer, please email us at prayer@ womenworldleaders.com so we can encourage you further.

We love that God has called us, as a ministry, to love and empower women who desire to love God, come closer to Him, and serve Him with their whole hearts.