A Woman’s Work
What Mothers Want The Secret Longings of Motherhood By Sharon Knierim
There are about as many methods of mothering in this world as there are mothers. Each one of us has her own style. Many of us have learned mothering from our own mothers or other female relatives. Some of us have mimicked mothers of close friends who had a profound effect on us as we were growing into adulthood. Other mothers do a complete about-face in child rearing and act entirely opposite of what they were exposed to early in life. There are a number of us who were given a head start at mothering as we became caretakers for our younger siblings. We bring some bona fide skills into being mothers! No matter how we approach the raising of our children, we all want the same basic “good things” for our offspring. Who doesn’t want their children to be healthy? What mother doesn’t wish for the most attractive kids in the neighborhood? And, of course, we all wish for children with wonderfully high IQs, coupled with musical ability and the skills required for moving forth in their young lives. Do you recall what you wanted for your children when they were growing? This mother wanted her children to be compassionate. Of course, that was decades ago, when they were still in rompers. It is difficult (if not impossible) to teach kindness and empathy to someone who still drinks from a bottle and
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crawls around on their hands and knees. Still, there were lessons to teach and to be learned using teddy bears and dolls. Was it worth the effort? Well, the jury is still out on that one, but I think there is compassion in the generation we produced. One mother once told me that her wish for her three children was that they would be the very best at everything they tried— they should never settle for second best. Now, that is a lot of pressure. Are those three kids the best at everything they do? I’m not sure. You would have to ask their mother. My mother’s wish for her daughters was the same as everyone else’s. That is to say, she wanted us to be smart, and pretty, and popular. She would encourage us in any way possible and did her
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