WHERE
the magicis
by Chanell M. St. Junious
then honored myself by releasing him. I have learned that there is no magic in holding on to the idea of something that doesn’t work merely because it’s the idea that you’ve always had. With the holidays approaching, I find myself forty-nine, single, and cautiously living in the midst of a pandemic. This year has been full of hard lessons and limited in-person contact. This year has stripped away all the mental decorations. I recently found myself in a When there are no trips out relationship with a beautiful the country, no high heels man. I was happy before to wear to packed events, we met, but if I squinted and and no face-to-face time leaned my wants a little to the with friends, it would be easy left, being with him lifted that to mistake the part for the happiness to a state of bliss. whole. This year has proven Our connection taught me that “new normals” happen that the part is not the whole. all the time. The magic is The love we shared was in being willing to make the overshadowed by the reality adjustments. that he was not my person. At a different stage in my life, For most of us the holidays I would have ignored what I are often like magnifying felt and held on through the glasses. Everything, holidays. Instead, I honored especially the things we the beauty of our connection, lack, often appear larger
and more intense. Movies, holiday music, and social media overflow us with what the holidays should look like. Again, know that the part is not the whole. Especially this year, consider releasing the holiday “shoulds.” Whether you’re missing your loved ones who have transitioned, disheartened that you are still single, or longing to be in the presence of family and friends, those feelings don’t disappear simply because it’s the holidays. Be gentle with yourself and honor how you feel. Remember that the part is not the whole. Whether good or bad, we often find ourselves looking at a small part of our experience and mistaking it as the whole experience. The real gift is in honoring the beauty of every experience, and memory, that you are blessed to have. The end goal is not to merely have a happy holiday, but to create space for a happy life. That is truly where the magic is. Everything else is extra.
9
