Affording Your Dream Wedding by Derek Kemp

 Grace Kiarie  Affording Your Dream Wedding

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Legal Disclaimers All contents copyright © 2011 by Grace Kiarie and Affording Your Dream Wedding. All rights reserved. No part of this document or accompanying files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, electronic or otherwise, by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher. This eBook is presented to you for informational purposes only and is not a substitution for any professional advice. The contents herein are based on the views and opinions of the author and all associated contributors. While every effort has been made by the author and all associated contributors to present accurate and up to date information within this document, it is apparent technologies rapidly change. Therefore, the author and all associated contributors reserve the right to update the contents and information provided herein as these changes progress. The author and/or all associated contributors take no responsibility for any errors or omissions if such discrepancies exist within this document. It is the reader’s sole responsibility to seek professional advice before taking any action on their part. Readers results will vary based on their skill level and individual perception of the contents herein, and thus no guarantees, monetarily or otherwise, can be made accurately. Therefore, no guarantees are made.

 Grace Kiarie  Affording Your Dream Wedding

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Table of Contents Legal Disclaimers ........................................................................................................................... 2 Introduction ..................................................................................................................................... 4 A Step By Step ................................................................................................................................. 5 Your Wedding Day ............................................................................................................................................ 9

Planning Your Budget ................................................................................................................ 10 Who Pays For What? - Traditionally....................................................................................... 12 Who Does What? - Traditionally ............................................................................................. 14 Different Weddings: Rules & Regulations ........................................................................... 16 Registering Your Wedding ....................................................................................................... 19 Documents Required...................................................................................................................................... 20

Registry Office Weddings .......................................................................................................... 21 Licensed Venues for Civil Marriages .......................................................................................................... 22

In Closing......................................................................................................................................... 23

 Grace Kiarie  Affording Your Dream Wedding

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Introduction There is something special about those two words ‘dream wedding’ they shout beautiful spectacular, and amazing. This report “Affording Your Dream Wedding” aims to provide you with a simple guide to create that dream wedding while staying on an affordable budget. This guide includes research from different places and from different points of view. Also interviews from various couples who share their opinions and their trials, tribulations and successes they went through. I want you to remember that this is your wedding you should enjoy it from start to finish, let your imagination run wild. Create a picture of what you want you’re wedding to be like – and stick with it. To make your dream come true you need to ensure that those close to you understand the dream that you have. It doesn’t matter if you have to become a control freak in the process. However your parents, your partner, and your partner’s parents have their thoughts for your wedding too, so try to discuss plans with them – they will appreciate it a lot. One last thing before we jump right in. Figure out very early on in the process where the money is coming from, this issue affects so many Weddings. We will discuss tradition in this guide, but these days the cost outweighs tradition and rather than loading one family with all the costs why not share them? You are more likely to achieve your dream in this way.

 Grace Kiarie  Affording Your Dream Wedding

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A Step By Step

I mentioned in my blog that some couples have an idea what they want their wedding to be like. However the rush and excitement leaves little room to organise the tasks properly and that’s where we come in. Our first recommendation is that you purchase a diary or a similar book to keep track of what needs doing and to keep them under control. Here is a step by step starting from a year before your wedding, and to add that little bit of organisation you can tick off when you have completed each task.

 Grace Kiarie  Affording Your Dream Wedding

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12 to 18 Months Before: 

Sit down with your partner and decide what you both want from this event:

 Church Wedding, Registry Office or    

Licensed Venue. Reception venue location Wedding Breakfast and/or Reception UK or Overseas Wedding Honeymoon location



Establish a budget and an idea of where the funds will come from.



Set a date with your ceremony venue.



Estimate number of guests.



Visit and book your reception venue.



Choose your attendants, Brides maids, Best Man and Ushers.



Choose your dress.



Book your honeymoon.



Start compiling your Wedding gift list.



Take out Wedding Insurance.



Start thinking about photographs.

6 to 12 Months to Go 

If in need for a register office book date max 12 months before.



Order Bridesmaids dresses.



Finalise colour scheme.



Arrange Wedding Transport.



Compile a guest list.

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

Book photographer.



Book entertainment and toastmaster.



Order wedding stationary.



Book Florist, Balloon decorators, Wedding favours.



Talk to minister or registrar reform of service about readings and music.



Finalise your wedding gift list.



Buy the rings.



Confirm your reception menu with the caterers.



Book a Hotel room for the wedding night.



Book accommodation for guests that are coming long distance.



Discuss hair design with hairdresser in case it needs to grow.



Hire men’s suits.

3 Months to Go 

Finalise honeymoon plans.



Book hair & beauty treatment appointments.



Confirm honeymoon details.



Purchase honeymoon clothes.



Send out Invitations to guests at 6 weeks to go. RSVP



Select thank you presents for attendants.



Check diary to confirm all items booked.



Change Brides passport if going abroad.

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30 Days to Go 

Confirm that ushers, best man and bridesmaids know their tasks.



Chase guests that have not replied.



Check all Wedding clothes and hired items.



Confirm final numbers to caterers.



Make seating plan.



Contact all your Wedding suppliers to confirm bookings and make final payments where applicable.



Discuss final arrangements with your photographer.



Notify the following of your new name and address if relevant. Friends, relatives, doctors and local authority.



Arrange for your Wedding to be printed in local paper at appropriate time.



Make final arrangements for your honeymoon.



Arrange Hen and Stag nights.



Make appointment with hairdresser.

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7 Days to Go 

Have a final rehearsal.



Check your bridal wear; dress shoes tiara/veil etc.



Check clothes for bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys.



Collect hired clothes.



Make arrangements for someone to take back hired clothes after event.



Pack for your honeymoon including tickets, passports, money and credit cards.

Your Wedding Day Bride 

Allow plenty of time to prepare.



Enjoy being pampered.



Put your make up on in time for it to settle.



Take time to be with your family, remember it is a special day for Mum & Dad too.



Allow time for photos.



Speak to all your guests; they have come to see you.



Smile, this is your special day.

Groom 

Allow time to get ready.



Look at your checklist, so many Grooms have to check that everything is ready, venue, flowers, transport etc. - use your best man to do some of this activity for you.



Have list of phone numbers available in case you need to call a supplier etc.



Give yourself time to arrive at the ceremony venue in time.



Relax and enjoy the day.

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Planning Your Budget Some people will find this easier than others; you may decide to set an overall budget figure and then limit your purchases to that set figure, alternatively we recommend that you list all that you find essential for your wedding then figure out your priorities from there and what you’re going to spend the most on. This is probably one of the biggest make or break situations when planning your wedding. You may be extremely lucky enough to be in a situation where cost is not important. Sadly for many this may be the biggest setback on your plans. However we like to think of ourselves as your light at the end of this tunnel, because you might be surprised to find that there are more people prepared to help than you first thought. Traditions states that years ago for many it was the responsibility of the Bride’s parents to set the bill this may still be the case in your family. A good place to start is by figuring out what is considered by each party as a reasonable amount to spend for your wedding. A thought that might be already at the back of your mind is that when you get married you would have to live together and that includes mortgage or rent, therefore your wedding and honey moon are probably the first ‘big’ costs you will make together. Don’t let this put you off, all you need to do is set a budget and work to it. It is said that the average wedding costs £15,000 - £20,000.

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Having established an approximate figure we recommend that you do some phoning around to get an idea of the cost of your ideal day. On the next page there is a list, that has the main items that most people spend their money on; we have left some space for you to add extras.

Budget

Actual

Wedding Dresses Bridesmaid Dresses Rings

Ceremony Reception Venue Catering Cars Photography Flowers Cake Honeymoon Balloons & Decorations Entertainment

Total:

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Who Pays For What? - Traditionally Bride’s Parents 

Hen Party



Wedding Stationary



Brides dress



Bridesmaids dresses



Accessories



Cars for the bride, bridesmaids and family to the church and reception



Flowers and balloon decorations



Music



Photography.



Costs of the reception.

Groom’s Parents Traditionally they have no responsibility for the costs. However in this day and time the groom’s parents can contribute to costs.

The Groom 

The engagement ring



Stag night



Brides wedding ring



Buttonholes



Corsages and flowers for the bride and bridesmaids



Church or civil ceremony fees and legal costs



The hired clothes for his men and himself

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

The transport of the best man and himself to the church or register office



Presents for the bridesmaids, best man and his bride

The Bride 

Husband’s wedding ring



Going away outfit

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Who Does What? - Traditionally The Bride 

Makes the major decision about the style of the Wedding and the reception.



Chooses the bridesmaids, pageboys and flower girls.

The Groom 

Sorts out the legal arrangements including the certificate and licence.



Pays for the ceremony, including extras such as church bells and choir.



Makes the second speech at the reception.



Chooses his best man.

The Bride’s Mother (The Wedding hostess) 

Sends out the invitations



Makes the arrangements for the reception



Present at the signing of the register and is escorted by the groom’s father for the recessionals

The Bride’s Father 

Escorts the bride to the church and gives her away



Makes the first speech at the reception



Escorts the groom’s mother at the recessional

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The Best Man 

Responsible for making sure that most things run smoothly on the day



Act as the go-between between the Bride’s family and the Groom



Helps the Groom with the arrangements before and on the day



Accompanies the Groom to the ceremony and organises the ushers



Looks after the rings and gives them to the groom during the ceremony



Escorts the chief bridesmaid for the recessional



At the reception makes the third speech and reads cards and messages

Chief Bridesmaid 

Helps the bride with all her preparations for the ceremony



After the reception once again she will help change the bride and then looks after the wedding dress

Bridesmaids 

Looks after the page boys, and flower girls

Ushers 

They will greet your guests and seat them in the correct places



They will also ensure that parking and transportation are organised smoothly

Grooms Parents 

Will be present at the signing of the register



Escorts or be escorted by the bride’s parents

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Different Weddings: Rules & Regulations The ceremony must be an authorised civil or religious one registered by a registrar or other authorised person. The ceremony must take place between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. in front of two witnesses. If you choose a Church of England wedding either party must be resident in the parish for a minimum of 15 days. A Church wedding is also a civil ceremony, which means that the clergyman is responsible for checking all relevant paperwork and issuing the relevant certificate. Wedding banns must be publicised by the clergyman in his church for 3 successive Sundays. The purpose of this publication is twofold, to inform the public of your intentions and to establish any objections. If you live in different Parishes the banns will be published separately in your own Parish, if you both live in the same Parish then they will be published in that Parish together. When partners come from separate parishes the groom must approach his clergyman first to inform him of your intentions and the date. His clergyman will then arrange with the brides clergyman to read the banns in both churches on the same Sundays. Once this has been achieved the Grooms clergyman will forward a certificate to the officiating clergyman verifying that he has read the banns.

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A Roman Catholic marriage service includes rituals peculiar to the faith. At one time the difference between a Protestant and Catholic ceremony was quite different. Now the difference is quite subtle, the bride’s vows exclude the promise to obey and the ring plays a more significant role. The simplest of all Christian marriages, the Quaker wedding has no music, set order of service or sermon. The Meeting House is unadorned, the bride and groom wear no specific dress, and there is no chief bridesmaid or best man. The festivities surrounding a traditional Jewish wedding are some of the most colourful of all. There are many symbolic customs involved in a very happy celebration followed by a dignified formal ceremony. Whichever religious ceremony you choose, please ensure that it is valid in your country; if in doubt contact your Superintendent Registrar to ensure that you conform.

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You may need a separate civil ceremony as well. Civil Weddings can be held in a Registrar office or other approved building even if neither of you lives in that district. As stated earlier, notice of marriage must be given in the district that you live in and a certificate of marriage issued prior to the formal ceremony to take place. Remember that the certificate of marriage is only valid for one year from the issue date. There are a huge number of venues licensed to cater for a civil wedding, make sure that they have a valid license before finalising your booking. The Superintendent Registrar will be able to confirm this.

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Registering Your Wedding To get married in England and Wales you must give notice of marriage in the registration district where you live. You must have lived in that district for at least 7 days. Both parties must register in their own district; giving notice of marriage incurs fee. You must register in the area that you live in even if you are getting married in another district. Having given notice of marriage you must wait 15 days before getting married. This enables the public display of your notice. After this period you can collect the authority or authorities from the same register office. This is the legal document that enables your marriage to proceed. This document is handed to the Superintendent Registrar or minister of a nonconformist church.

If a registrar is marrying you there is a fee for their services plus a fee for the actual marriage certificate.

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Documents Required You will require the following documents when applying for your marriage certificate:



Passport or birth certificate to verify ages, spelling of names and nationality. Note: If you have changed your name by Deed Poll you will need to supply this document.



If either party has been married before then you will need to show documentation to prove you are free to remarry. e.g. Decree absolute (properly stamped by issuing court).



If the previous marriage ended in the death of your partner a certified copy of the death certificate of your late spouse and also your previous marriage certificate may be required.

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Registry Office Weddings First please arrive 10 minutes before the marriage time, to enable the registrar to check your details. The process is as followed:



The registrar will start the marriage process with an introductory speech.



Followed by two declarations and the exchange of rings.



You will then be declared husband and wife.



To conclude each party signs the marriage register and to complete the ceremony the registrar will present you with your marriage certificate.

You can add a range of additional items to the ceremony with prior agreement from the Superintendent Registrar. For example: .



Music on arrival.



A reading or poetry of non-religious content.



Music while signing the register.

Photo’s can be taken before and after the ceremony, but not during the declaration process. Video cameras can often be used as long as they do not distract from the event. The ceremony takes between 10 and 20 minutes and after signing the register, you and your guests are expected to leave promptly to make way for the next couple. Photo sessions on the registry office steps should be kept as brief as possible. Many registry offices now have beautiful gardens that can often be used for photos.

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Licensed Venues for Civil Marriages A high percentage of marriages are being performed in approved venues. Because venues vary so much the format of the ceremony will need to be discussed in detail with the Superintendent Registrar once your notice of marriage has been given.

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In Closing

Don’t let the heading fool you. When I say in closing I do not mean that it is the end of any information that I may have on weddings. It is simply the end of this report. Remember if you want to still be updated in brides, bridesmaids, best mans, grooms etc involvement in the wedding you can read my blog The Wedding Notepad where you will hopefully gain more knowledge on how to handle your wedding than you do now, and also enjoy reading. My next step is something exciting for both you – as the reader – and I because soon there is going to be a book following this report. Where the information for suppliers and the best deals that they offer, how to negotiate with suppliers, how to plan - impressively, there are also going to be stories that will make you gasp and laugh. If you found this report useful in any way then I guarantee that this eBook would help you even further.

The Wedding Notepad: http://weddingnotepad.wordpress.com/

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