AFRICA HAIR & BEAUTY by zenzy56

Vol. 20 No. 81 July/August Edition 2018

Hair Styles for the season Lifestyle Salon Plan

OPRAL BENSON'S School of Beauty in Lagos, Nigeria. Miss Kanekalon PAGEANT IN AFRICA

The Auditions...

International Edition

Hello, Africa; good-day, Nigeria. This edition is dubbed by our Editorial board as a Special edition as well as an International Edition; one that is inspired by Kanekalon, a division of Kaneka corporation of Osaka, Japan a leader in Hair bre manufacturing. An inspiration to hairdressers, and indeed, the hair industry, the company provides the world's most renowned synthetic bre to X-pression, Darling, Sublime, Darling Ghana, and a few others. Kanekalon is relentless in providing opportunities for African women. The grand nal of the Kanekalon event began with a campaign tagged Salon storm and Campus storm. Then, regional Auditions - Ghana’s was on May 12th, Delta state was on June 6th, Port Harcourt on June 9th, and Lagos audition was June 16th. The road to the 2018 Miss Kanekalon grand nal is paved with anxiety, excitement and profound anticipation. Warmly endorsed by the Hairdressers' Association in Nigeria, the Finals is scheduled to take place in the opulent setting of Landmark Event centre, Victoria Island, Lagos. And for the rst time in the history of the event, Hair Associations in Nigeria have been given the opportunity to showcase their talent in a presentation of their handcrafted Avant-garde. Set to be anchored by the highly acclaimed duo of Helen Paul and Kof; music by Kiss Daniel, the July 14th, 2018 event promises to be a world class act. For those who are conversant with current activities in the hair industry, excess supply of imported hair products has become the order of the day. Fierce competition amongst Chinese manufacturers cum importers is at its highest level; consequently giving rise to a price-war and dumping. Shouldn't the government of their country be curious enough to ask why their products are cheaper in Africa than they are in their own country where these goods are manufactured? How do they make their prot? What’s their secret? How long can they sustain this mentality of: sell-byany-means-necessary? The future of the Hair Industry is leaning towards Online. Aside from the fundamental hardships of lack of credibility, logistics, sincerity of purpose; with the advent of smart phones and creative thinking, we see increase in Online activities and an exponential growth in home-service as ideas whose time is just two years away. Wig-making is another aspect of the hair industry that is growing rapidly. Some entrepreneurs have made serious money from setting up training facilities; some virtual, and they are winning. Certainly, a fantastic opportunity to be explored, even if you are not a trained hairdresser.

FirstChoice Communication Ltd. (African Hair & Beauty Magazine)  18, Moloney Street, Onikan, Lagos.  Tel: 08033020110; 08084128835  E-mail: hairandbeautymag@yahoo.com info@ahbmagazibe.com  Website: www.ahbmagazibe.com

We use this opportunity to pay special appreciation to the domestic hair manufacturers. We mean the legitimate ones. Not those who specialise in faking other people's ideas. With huge payroll, high energy costs, difcult environment, they still turn out SON-certied products, while providing a means of livelihood for countless families and individuals.. Kudos to them. If your woman, sister, daughter, mother, asks you for a gift of hair, please don't deny her. It's dangerous to do so. And it could even hurt you more. Imagine the consequences of allowing someone else to provide it for her. Hair remains a woman's crowing glory. Anyone who disputes this ageold belief should have his head, not the hair, examined. READ HAIR & BEAUTY MAGAZINE, ALWAYS.

GYMS – Danger To Marriages Teamwork Policy for salon owners

5 18 24 30 35

An Excerpt From Pope Francis Homily / Sermon Marking 2018 Easter Celebration

What Will Kill A Man Is Already Before Him

43 46 46

PUBLISHER’S COMMENTARY Hardcore Truth About Marriage! Wastefulness & Poverty

Please Stop Locking Bathroom Doors !!! MEAN MOMS

The sudden death phenomenon

49 56

The Lifestyle Salon Plan

And we raised PSYCHOPATHS

www.melmoyabeautypalour.com

HARDCORE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE! - by Michelle Barrack Obama.

q There is nothing that threatens the

q A successful marriage doesn't

security of a wife than the thought of another woman competing for the attention and affection of her husband. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

require a big house, a prefect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car.* You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage. A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and God at the center of it all.

q Marriage flourishes when the

q Pray for your spouse every day; in

couple works together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score. Good marriages don't just happen. They are a product of hard work.

the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

q Your children are watching you

and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you.* Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

q The people you surround yourself

with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

q Husbands: The reason why other

women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful. q When a husband puts his wife first

above everyone and everything except God, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.*

“ Marriage is teamwork which works best without third party inuence. Don't let others predict the fate of your marriage. Create a relationship that is unaffected by the false presumptions of others”

q One spouse cannot build a

marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage. q Don't take your spouse for

granted.* Don't take advantage of your spouse's meekness and goodness. Don't mistake your spouse's loyalty for desperation. Don't misuse or abuse yours spouse's trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you. q Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials. q Dear wife, don't underestimate the

power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don't let the Devil use your tongue to kill your spouse's image, self-confidence and aspirations. Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

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WASTEFULNESS & POVERTY. “When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?" "Twelve," they said. Mark 8:19 NLT Is poverty a curse that makes men mad? Here’s a true story, as told me by a second hand witness. Two Nigerians ordered oversized plates of food they didn’t need from an expensive restaurant somewhere in Germany. The waiters thought these were unusual amounts of food but what the heck, if they were this hungry. Surprises c o w a n d t h e f i s h , s o m e o n e manufactured the oils and the other awaited them. dozen ingredients, someone Moments later, maybe to impress the transported the ingredients to the white man, the men took just a few grocery, someone cut the veggies, nibbles from their plates, shoved the prepared the meal, served them, food away and motioned the waiter for someone went to school to learn the best cooking there is, someone taught them, their bill. interviewed, employed them. “You have to finish the food, Sirs,” the “You see, Sirs … it took the labor of love, bewildered waiter politely told them. knowledge and skills of thousands of our “No, we’re okay, no problem,” they German people to serve you those two plates of food. It’s not about your money, answered, laughing. it’s about the thousands of people who “But you have to eat the food, you made it possible. It is a sin against our cannot throw this amount of food away” economy.” insisted the restaurateur. While all this was going, one of the The two men looked each other in the waiters had already called the police. face, muttering, in Warri accent, Story short, they were forced to go with the take-away pack of the food they “Shooooow?” wanted thrown into the dustbin. “Look” they said with rising temper, “the money is ours, not yours! We’re Listen, friends! To load up your plate paying you for the food! What’s your from a buffet, and leave half of it uneaten is not a sign of big-manism. It’s a clinical problem?” symptom of poverty. Of mental illness. “We understand, Sirs,” said the restaurateur calmly, “But when you What does poverty have to do with throw this food away, it is a spite on our wastefulness? Everything! Some people are poor mostly because they are people and our economy. 24 wasteful! The poor waste time, waste “You see, someone grew the tomatoes ideas, waste opportunities, waste talent, waste relationships, waste money! and vegetables, someone raised the

Again, I read a story from my social feed the other day. One post-NYSC girl went to this other girl to beg for N50,000 to start a business. Meanwhile, she had N75,000 made up hair on her head! Of course the wiser one asked her, girl-togirl, “Sister, your hair is N75k, how come you didn’t use the money to start your business?” We do the same thing as a country. Senator Ben Bruce narrated how our government used N250,000,000.00 ($500,000) to build a gatehouse . I have been to the high and low places in America and the UK. There’s no place you’ll see a gatehouse built with $500,000. And yet, we want those countries to give us a loan - to build more gatehouses? Is poverty a curse? That's why Nelson Mandela said, “Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice.” We can never cure poverty by giving the poor handouts, and giving graduates N5,000 a month. We must pull down the demonic “Nigerian system” that makes this place “a land that swallows its inhabitants.” Wastefulness is immoral. God abhors the wasteful. We are stewards of God’s resources. He did not appoint us to waste His resources.

••• The God of the Universe does not want. Yet, He does not waste! He owns everything, but He wastes nothing. After He fed the 5,000, He instructed that the leftovers be picked up and accounted for. Not just for camp sanitation. I believe He gave the poor takeaway packs. Wow! He says that not one bird falls from the sky without His notice! Nor If you are wasteful, you are immoral. wanting, nor wasting! God abhors immorality. ••• I know a few billionaires and many Think about it for a moment. According millionaires, in dollars. I’m not talking to the United Nations, four people die about our political thieves; I mean real of hunger every second! Aren’t you entrepreneurs. There are quite a few immoral when you leave uneaten food shocking truths about people who have created wealth through sheer on your plate to be thrown away? entrepreneurial genius, persistence and ••• One in nine Indians, mostly children, hard work. One is their spiritual will go to bed hungry today. India is 1.3 sensitivity. I have consulted for a billion people - do the math. In our own billionaire who would not leave his house back yard, according to the 2015 World until he has prayed and praised God for Hunger Report, nearly 13 million at least 4 - 5 hours daily. Yes, daily! Nigerians will go to bed hungry tonight. Today, if you count 10 people on the The most shocking truth about these street, 2 or 3 likely haven’t had billionaires, perhaps, is their thriftiness. They never want but they don't waste. breakfast. Like God Himself. They will not give you So, aren’t you immoral when your one cent if you do not convince them kitchen sink is half-filled with wasted about the value you will create from it. breakfast cereals, milk, pap and fried Everything must be accounted for. They eggs you and your obese children didn’t keep receipts. They weigh their financial finish up? What you flush down your decisions meticulously. drains everyday could literally save dozens of lives from death by starvation. ••• Are you wasteful? For instance, do you have clothes in your wardrobe that In my house, you can eat as much as you you have not worn in 12 months? I heard want but don’t leave anything on the a woman talk about clothes she has not plate. My children learnt early that worn in 3 - 4 years! they’d better not throw food away. I recall the day I insisted that one of them Or you’re a single guy, just graduated eat the food he had thrown away from and got a job in the city. What did you rent a 3-bedroom flat for? Three the dustbin! bedrooms? And what are you doing ••• Walter Chalmers Smith, Scottish inside a gas-guzzling SUV? Are you minister, (1824-1908), God bless his certain you can afford it now? resting soul, left us with the classic hymn, ‘Immortal, Invisible God Only Do you leave the lights in your room on Wise.’ This hymn always enriches my even when no one is there? That NEPA quiet times and meditations. The hymn slams their crazy "estimated bill" on you is replete with lines that attempt to is not an excuse for waste. capture our Unknowable. If you struggle with knowing God, as I do, a Foolish girl! You earn 50k a month but r e g u l a r d o s a g e o f t h i s h y m n i s you have an 80k phone and you just ordered an aso-ebi of N100k! Why won't refreshing. you deserve poverty? The second verse begins with: You keep looking for more money. Is it Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light, possible that the Shepherd of Psalm 23 has already provided but your Nor wanting, nor wasting … wastefulness blinds you?

WASTEFULNESS & POVERTY.

Do you know how much cash flow you can free up in your life if you adjusted your lifestyle of wastefulness? No man ever escaped poverty who didn’t learn the wisdom of thrift. ••• Do you ask God for long life? Good. How do you use your 24 daily hours? Can you account for the past 365 days? If you haven’t used 24 hours productively, why should He give you 24 years? May God open our eyes to see the damage that our wastefulness inflicts on our destinies… and may we have the wisdom and humility to become like Jesus - nor wanting, nor wasting. Wr i t t e n b y Ve n e r a b l e J u s t i c e Okoronkwo. Pls read, meditate on adjust if u are wasteful.

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GYMS – DANGER TO MARRIAGES ? Some of the observations made are revealing, first, the gym instructors prey on vulnerable women. A lot of married women have adopted the gym as a panacea to reducing weight and looking cutely attractive. Presumably because their spouses could be more attracted to their new curvy bodies. This makes them vulnerable to predating gym instructors who take advantage and seduce them. Touching the women at their most weakest areas opened them up for abuses and lasciviousness. Women biologically respond to tickles and fondles depending on which part of the body you touch. Gym instructors cunningly and constantly touch these spots when they observed them to break the emotional stability of those women. These over a period opens up those women for abuse. It was observed that these are prevalent with more affluent women and also lonely spouses. Socialisation – the study also revealed that most marriages have suffered because the men or women have taken the gyms as their main centres of socialisation. When couples don’t find any reliable source of socialisation, they see the gym and the patrons as their most reliable friends, partners and joy. Most couples who attend the gym together do not face this risk. Couples who attend gyms alone are very prone these dangers. After a period of socialising with the same opposite sex for a time, bonding becomes almost unavoidable. The more they train, chat, drink and sometimes eat together after the physical exercises, they become used to each other and sometimes share their marriage challenges. Unsuspecting partners are taken advantage of through a show of sympathy and sometimes outright deception and ill advice. Targeting – some men and women have intentionally joined gyms and clubs purposely to prey on a targeted victim. Many men and women have ignorantly fallen to wicked and deceitful men and women who have targeted them over a period. The targets may not know that these 30

men and women have intentioned to have them for long and unsuspectingly opened up to them as gym mates and friends. CONCLUSION – it is highly advised that no matter one’s presumed fidelity and moral values, Couples should avoid going to gyms alone. Couples could adopt going to the gym as normal family routine with their children. If you have to go alone for obvious and avoidable reasons, you should not allow the gym and patrons to be your second family. Our presence in the gym is for a purpose and that purpose alone. Note that you did not go to the gym to solve any other problem apart from physical exercise or weight loss. Don’t force yourself to be accepted as belonging or sociable. Married couples are already sociable and need no one to define for them realms of socialisation. Define for yourselves what as a couple you would live to do to entertain yourselves; Churches, Films, Dance or Sports, Leisure and Tourism among others. Note that this piece has avoided the tendency to be religious article. Intentionally so because our aim is to look at the social lives of Christian couples and not their spirituality. However, we would emphasis that your faith in God, respect to your religion and yourselves, the dignity of your marriage is the surest and most reliable weapon to fight infidelity. The scripture says physical exercise is good but spiritual exercise is best. Save your marriage now! We salute all women. You are the salt of this world.

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It is highly advised that no matter one’s presumed ﬁdelity and moral values, Couples should avoid going to gyms alone. Couples could adopt going to the gym as normal family routine with their children.

“

ecent studies across the world by a group of Christian Social Women Group has revealed that patronage of gyms are becoming a high risk option to sustainability of marriages. The health and physical benefits of gyms not withstanding, the gyms are proving to be fertile grounds for infidelity and promiscuity.

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ey there salon owners; I have a teamwork policy for you in this article... in case you don't already have one. The salon relationship agreement is the terms laid out of how your people interact with each other, how we converse with clients regarding each other and how we regard management.

This aspect of salon business is often overlooked, which is unfortunate as it is the number one reason employees seek other opportunities. In 2012 I did a survey where I asked salon service providers who had recently left the salon what their reason for leaving was.

HERE ARE THE TOP 2 REASONS FOR LEAVING: 1. They weren’t getting along with a coworker 2. Management did nothing about the salon issues Neither of the reasons had to do with money or opportunity but with the human need to feel secure in their environment.

What’s more interesting is I also interviewed the owners of the salons and they were aware of the issues but felt powerless in knowing how to handle them.

The teamwork policy is the process that clearly defines the salon work relationship. Teamwork policies address the salon relationships on 3 levels:

TEAMWORK POLICY TRIANGLING MAINTENANCE – HOW PERSONS ARE EXPECTED TO INTERACT MANAGEMENT – HOW ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED RESOLUTION – HOW TO AMEND ISSUES

For example, the following is a teamwork policy to maintain relationships. GOAL: Build trust, respect and security within the team. DEFINITION: The technique given to team members to avoid unfair gossip. TECHNIQUE: Implemented by speaking directly to the person you have issues with rather than another team member. APPLICATION: Keep conversations with co-workers amongst the people in the room.

When the salon emphasizes the importance of relationship it provides the foundation of a team that feels secure in their environment. And when the salon owner prioritizes the application of the Teamwork Policy both owner and employee are free to focus their energy on service.

REASONS WHY

YOUR EMPLOYEES KEEP QUITTING - By Tina

If you’re guilty of any of the following behaviors, odds are pretty good that you’re having a hard time keeping professionals on staff–and you have nobody to blame but yourself.

alon professionals are notoriously difficult to tie down for a wide variety of reasons. Some of those reasons have to do with some of those professionals being flaky, capricious, or simply incompatible with your salon’s culture. Many beauty workers are intensely independent and/or too ambitious to remain employed for very long. Their reasons for resigning typically aren’t preventable and have nothing to do with you. Wait–you didn’t think this post was going to be about how wonderful and blameless you are, did you? Because it’s not. To stop employee overturn, you have to be willing to take a good look at yourself and your behaviors. If your salon is plagued with chronic employee overturn, you are likely the problem. HERE ARE TEN BEHAVIORS THAT REPEL QUALITY TALENT FROM YOUR SALON. THE SOONER YOU ACCEPT THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU ARE THE REASON EMPLOYEES DON’T STAY, THE SOONER YOU CAN DIAGNOSE AND FIX THE ISSUE. YOU’RE DISRESPECTFUL You snap at employees in front of clients and threaten their jobs when they displease you. You speak down to them and treat them as inferior. As a result, your employees see themselves as you see them—replaceable, dispensable, and unimportant. They receive no respect from you, so expect no loyalty from them. YOU’RE INCAPABLE OF APOLOGIZING OR SHOWING REMORSE. You’re not infallible. You screw up too, and when you do, your employees notice. Not only do they notice, they take note of how you conduct yourself. Set a good example and start admitting your mistakes, apologizing for them, and allowing your employees to see you as the flawed human 38 being you are. Employees lose respect for

people who can’t or won’t admit their mistakes and apologize for them.

If you can’t handle the stress of salon management, hire someone who can.

You cannot lead or retain employees who don’t respect you.

I have met many salon owners who were not cut out for business ownership. It isn’t for everyone. Most of us went to beauty school, not business school. We chose our professions for a reason. If you’re learning that you aren’t wired to be a salon owner, that is perfectly fine. It doesn’t mean you have to sell or close your salon–just hire someone who can do the job for you, so you can get behind the chair and go back to doing what you love.

YOU’RE NOT SUPPORTIVE. When an employee struggles to perfect a technique, are you at their side helping them develop their skills (or pairing them with a professional who can)? When they refuse to perform a service because it isn’t in the client’s best interest, do you endorse their decision? When a rude client or fellow employee disrespects them, are you there to put a stop to it? If you don’t support your employees, it won’t be long before they take their skills elsewhere. YOUR PRACTICES AND POLICIES SUCK. Your employee handbook is 50 pages long and growing every week. You’re posting notices of increasingly ridiculous workplace policies in the break room, and these policies are making everyone miserable. It’s not what they signed up for and not something they’re likely to tolerate for very long. Operational changes shouldn’t be made on a whim.

Think your solutions through carefully and ask your employees for their input. Frequent policy and procedure changes are confusing and frustrating, especially when they’re “solving” problems that don’t exist. Employees will lose patience with you and seek employment somewhere more stable and consistent. YOU’RE A TRAINWRECK. Every day, a new disaster. You’re disorganized, emotional, temperamental, and inconsistent. You exhaust, confuse, frustrate, and stress out your employees. They have no faith in your leadership because you just can’t seem to get your shit together.

YOU’RE A DOORMAT. You allow your employees to walk all over you. You don’t know how to say no or to discipline your workers. It’s a free-for-all, and as a result, your salon is a nightmare workplace.

Workers are bullying other workers, chores aren’t getting done, and workplace conditions are unacceptable for any selfrespecting professional. A functioning professional salon requires structure and discipline. You need policies and rules and those policies and rules need to be enforced consistently. Nothing drives away talent like a lack of strong leadership or a salon owner who plays favorites. YOUR EXPECTATIONS DON’T MATCH YOUR COMPENSATION You want it all, but you expect your workers to pay their own employment taxes and donate their me to you. How dare you expect anything when you give nothing? Your employees are not volunteers. Nobody owes you anything.

Employees must be classiﬁed as such and compensated in accordance with the law, but you get what you pay for. Pay the bare minimum, expect the bare minimum. Pay nothing, expect nothing (especially loyalty).

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AN EXCERPT FROM POPE FRANCIS HOMILY / SERMON MARKING 2018 EASTER CELEBRATION

You Can Have Flaws, Be Anxious, And Ever Angry, But Do Not Forget That Your Life Is The Greatest Enterprise In The World. Only You Can Stop It From Going Bust.

Many appreciate you, admire you and love you. Remember that to be happy is not to have a sky without a storm, a road without accidents, work without fatigue, relationships without disappointments.

To be happy is to ﬁnd strength in forgiveness, hope in battles, security in the stage of fear, love in discord. It is not only to enjoy the smile, but also to reﬂect on the sadness. It is not only to celebrate the successes, but to learn lessons from the failures.It is not only to feel happy with the applause, but to be happy in anonymity.

Being happy is not a fatality of destiny, but an achievement for those who can travel within themselves. To be happy is to stop feeling like a victim and become your destiny's author. It is to cross deserts, yet to be able to ﬁnd an oasis in the depths of our soul. It is to thank God for every morning, for the miracle of life. Being happy is not being afraid of your own feelings. It's to be able to talk about you.

It is having the courage to hear a "no". It is conﬁdence in the face of criticism, even when unjustiﬁed. It is to kiss your children, pamper your parents, to live poetic moments with friends, even when they hurt us.

To be happy is to let live the creature that lives in each of us, free, joyful and simple. It is to have maturity to be able to say: "I made mistakes". It is to have the courage to say "I am sorry". It is to have the sensitivity to say, "I need you".

It is to have the ability to say "I love you". May your life become a garden of opportunities for happiness ... That in spring may it be a lover of joy. In winter a lover of wisdom. And when you make a mistake, start all over again.

For only then will you be in love with life. You will ﬁnd that to be happy is not to have a perfect life. But use the tears to irrigate tolerance. Use your losses to train patience. Use your mistakes to sculpter serenity. Use pain to plaster pleasure. Use obstacles to open windows of intelligence. Never give up .... Never give up on people who love you. Never give up on happiness, for life is an incredible show.*

n a recent visit, a former colleague and long me friend, Assumpta Udoh, told me something I found very profound because of its clarity: “Franco, by the me you are 50, the health problem that will kill you will be before you. How long you live therea er depends on how you manage it.” Assumpta is very correct. Her grandmother was diabe c, but died at age 98. Her 101-year-old father is asthma c, but s ll going strong. He played exhibi on tennis at 100 in Ikoyi Club, Lagos, last year.Of course, her statement is based on all things being equal.If you escape being slaughtered in Benue, Plateau and Southern Kaduna, if you do not get killed by Badoo boys in Ikorodu, if you escape the guns of cul sts in Rivers, if you escape death in the hands of kidnappers in Edo, Delta and Kogi, if you escape death in the hands of “ritualists” in Ogun, Oyo and Cross Rivers State; if you escape fatal accidents on the death traps we call roads or escape death in the mortuaries we call hospitals.But there are people whose health situa ons manifest earlier than 50 years; there are also people blessed with good health. You hear some people 40 years and above say “I have not been ill in the last 20 years,” “I have not been to hospital for 16 years,” I say thank God for your health, but you be er go for check up. My father was never ill, only occasional bouts of malaria. His ﬁrst major illness and he was gone at 62. Since 1974, my mother has been a regular at the hospital. To the glory of God, she is s ll kicking with all her facul es intact. She will be 85 this year. Do not assume anything when it comes to health.Once you are 40 years, annual medical checkup becomes a necessity. THE CHECKUPS RECOMMENDED BY MEDICAL PRACTITIONERS INCLUDE Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

Physical Examina on Visual Examina on Blood Sugar Level Lipid Proﬁle Liver Func on Test Electrolyte Full Blood Count Urinalysis Prostate Speciﬁc An gen (men Above 40yrs) Chest X-ray (above 40yrs) Prostate Scan(men Above 50yrs) Ecg (those Above 40yrs) Colonoscopy (men Above 50yrs) Mammography (for Women Above 40yrs And Some Other Tests.

WHAT WILL KILL A MAN IS ALREADY BEFORE HIM

--By Francis Ehwerido

Each of these procedures serves a par cular purpose. Chest x-ray, for instance, is meant to show the state of your lungs. Chest x-rays can detect heart-related lung problems, cancer, infec ons like tuberculosis and pneumonia or air collec ng in the space around a lung, among others.Blood sugar level is for all persons 40 years and above, especially people from families where there is a history of diabetes. In fact such persons should have been doing their checks long before 40 years. Normal blood sugar level is between 70 and 99 fas ng (that is when you wake up in the morning) and not more than 140 two hours a er a meal at all mes. Early detec on of high blood sugar can help you stave off diabetes and the a endant complica ons. Happily, it is one of those tests you can do at home with your test kits.Like blood sugar, blood pressure can also be easily checked at home with the test kits. Normal blood pressure is diastolic 80 and systolic 120. Once your systolic is 130 and above, you have high blood pressure. Of course, as people grow older, these figures can be higher and s ll be okay, but you must consult your doctor if you have blood pressure. Some people develop migraine when their BP goes up. The consequences of BP are mostly devasta ng: stroke which leads to par al or total paralysis and death. People with high BP should check their BP regularly and take his BP drugs religiously. It is a silent killer. As you hit 40, you also need to adjust your lifestyle to stay healthy. This includes the kind and quan ty of food you consume. In your younger days, your metabolism was higher and you could burn off carbohydrates, sugar, etc, easily. Not anymore. You need to cut down on quan ty of food to reduce the work of your aging internal organs. The common saying: “eat like a king in the morning, a prince in the a ernoon and a pauper in the evening” might not apply to some people in their 50s and above. They simply obey their bodies and eat li le and when is necessary.You also have to be weary of the common saying that “you can never be wrong with fruits.” Unless you understand your body very well, you can go horribly wrong with fruits. People with diabe c tendencies cannot consume

“sweet” fruits like bananas, oranges, pineapple, etc., in large volumes. It is either strict modera on or total abs nence. You also need to know what goes well with your body. Some people are allergic to certain fruits.Finally, in your younger days, sports and exercise were fun and recrea on. Once you hit 40, exercising becomes a ma er of life and death. For many people, it is no longer fun, because of aching joints and aging internal organs, but you must do exercise or perish slowly. You should understand the whole essence of exercise at this age: keeping healthy, giving a reasonably good account of yourself in the other room (for men) and shedding some weight, if possible. Building muscles should not be a priority of men 40 years and above. Who are you trying to impress? Your wife of 20 years who is more interested in financial muscles that can give her financial security over me? That is why people above 40 years are advised to walk briskly (not jog) about 30 minutes every day. Beyond your physician, let your personal doctor, your body, be your guide, before you slump and die prematurely. If you go to the Na onal Stadium in Lagos, you will see some sexagenarians and septuagenarians jogging, while people in their 30s are walking. It is partly because of the instruc ons from their bodies. Some of those old men jogging have been doing it religiously for over 40 years. Listen to your body, but exercise you must, because as my cousin, Dr. (Mrs.) Mar na Agberien will always say, “it’s good to exercise regularly because if the benefits of exercising are put in a pill, it would be the best sold pill in the world.”Many young people in their 40s and 50s are dropping dead with alarming rapidity. Please do not swe ll the numbe r be cause of your carelessness or negligence.

OPRAL BENSON'S School of Beauty in Lagos, Nigeria. 2018 GRADUATION CEREMONY

CEO

Melmoya Home of Beauty & Health

Proprietress CHIEF MRS. OPRAH BENSON

PLEASE STOP LOCKING BATHROOM DOORS !!!

s I raised one leg to wash the underside, the other leg slipped and I fell in the bathroom of one of the hotel's in London at 11.30pm on Friday 30th March and hit my head on the wall. Thank God that I didn't black out but I had instant headache all over the head. I called the nite manager to make a formal complaint because i expected that a hotel like Hilton should either have antislip mat or make the ooring anti slip. (I chose to bath in the shower & not the bath tub ). I have never fallen in the bathroom since I was born. I only hear it as stories from others so i believe this happened so that i can tell the story that I have been postponing. So here is the story. One Sunday morning last month, my sister's neighbour went into her bathroom to have a bath and she locked the door. She was alone with her little son. As the beans she was cooking began to burn, the little boy called out

to mummy and no response. He banged on the door yet no response. When the burning intensied, he took the phone and called his daddy who had travelled out. His dad called their neighbours who rushed into their house and broke the bathroom door to nd her on the oor almost lifeless. On their way to the hospital, she died. She could have been saved if she was rescued on time. Why do we lock the bathroom doors when it is just ourselves and our family in the house?

MANY BATHROOM ACCIDENTS ARE FATAL AND INSTANT. In as much as we do not wish to encounter any, but let us make provisions for us to be reached should it happen. This story may be long but I have been prompted to tell it as it may save lives.

MEAN MOMS S

omeday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:‘I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect..I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for 46 it. Those were the most difcult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your

children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head.

When others had a Coca Cola and chips for lunch, we had to eat home cooked meals. And you can guess our mother xed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labour Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the oor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn’t let our friends just hoot at the gate when they drove up, they had to come up to the door so she could meet them. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting/stealing, prostituting, vandalizing other people’s property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!’

..and we raised PSYCHOPATHS. These parents who blame the government for their woes and yet can't raise their own children to be sane, civil, courteous, law-abiding and functional individuals. My friend came to see me with her son this morning, a 7 year old. At the door I exchanged pleasantries with my friend and said hello to her son. He didn't respond and walked past me, got to the living room, sat on the glass coffee table, picked up the remote control and changed the channel. His mother didn't say anything. I told him the glass table will break and he should sit on the couch., he ignored me. She said to him.'Uncle says the table will break, stand up and sit on the couch." He ignored her. She continued."If you don't stand up, I won't take you to Cold Stone." He stood up and eyes still xed on the Disney channel he backpedalled to the couch and sat on it.

As they sat in the living room. I served them drinks and snacks. He drank his orange juice in one continuous ow and then descended on his mother's, he drank hers and then belched loudly. Instead of an "excuse me" or an "I'm sorry," he laughed loudly. His mother's only response was an 'That’s so gross" in addition to her laughter. I watched on. Sadly, as I chatted with my friend, I noticed he was no longer watching the TV but was focussed on the remote control. He had removed the batteries and was dgeting with it. I asked him, "Isn't it working?" No response. Then in a couple of minutes he had discarded the remote control on the oor and walked away. I stood up and picked it up, Lo and behold he had broken the latch. I said to her, "He has broken it." She said to me helplessly. "This boy will kill me one day." Then she called to him, over and over again, no response. All we heard was the clinking and clanking in the kitchen. I walked there. He was rummaging. "What are you looking for." "A knife and some butter for my crackers." His tone was cold and dismissive. I opened the drawer, brought out the knife, opened the refrigerator brought out the tub of butter and handed it to him. He collected and walked away. Not a "Thank you." He gets to the living room, sits down and gets to work. His mother was typing on her phone. Not a follow up on the remote. I sit down and she looks up at me.

"Where were we?" We continued chatting. She moaned about the useless country and the geriatric President who is a demon from hell. She complained about her husband who was all over the place working. She slyly boasted about the surplus money she was bored of spending, then was pretentious in her saying that she needed to get something worthwhile to do. My eyes strayed from her to her son intermittently. He was making a mess of the butter and the crackers, then he spat a mouth full of chewed food on the table in disgust. I looked at his mom for a reaction, she just rolled her eyes and shook her head before she said, "No cold stone for you.""Why?" "Because you are being rude and disgusting. Why will you do that?""Cos it tastes like shit." "And you will spit it out on the table?" "Yes.""Now clean it up." "No." "I'll tell your dad." "Tell him." "Uncle will be mad at you." "I don't care. His butter and crackers suck balls.” I was surprised he could use those words suck balls. I looked at her. She could see my shock. She said wearily."I tell you o, seven year old with gutter mouth." Then a question popped into my head. I asked it. "How come he is not in school." She sighed, "They suspended him.” I turned to him, he had my watch which I had left on the side table in one hand and the knife in the other. And he had cut through the strap. I stood up walked to him and collected both knife and watch from him. His mother visibly angry asked him. "Why did you do that? He shouted at her, "cos you said you are not taking me to Cold stone!" She looked up at me, "Jude please come and sit down, ignore him, he is looking for attention." There was no sorry from him or her. I sat down. He stood up, and announced. "I want to go home", she ignored him and continued speaking to me. He walked to the door and began screaming while stamping his feet on the oor. "I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home!" Visibly exhausted and fuming while staying calm. My friend stood up and said, "Jude let me take him home, I'll call you." She walked past him in annoyance, opened the door and stepped out, he eyeballed her and then me, kissed his teeth and walked out after her, then he reached in and slammed the door.

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The sudden death phenomenon By Hope Eghagha PEOPLE ASK WHY I REMAIN SO COOL AND DO EVERYTHING WITH EASE. N O F U S S N O F I G H T N O COMPETITION. FORGIVING THOSE WHO HURT ME AND LIVE A SIMPLE LIFE. HERE'S WHY

he rst time the sudden death experience hit close to me was when my only younger biological sister Racheal jumped into the night of her life without notice. Rachael was a 39 year old boisterous and active artiste/Arts reporter in Lagos; she dropped dead suddenly after alighting from a taxi somewhere in Surulere late in 2004, about November. It happened on a Monday evening after the day’s work, after she had been paid for some job she had done, after she had just moved into her own apartment and ready to start life on her own. As everyone headed home at close of work, she went into the last home of humanity. The Saturday of the previous week she had phone-called me to lament the death of Jaiye Aboderin who had slumped on the basketball court that weekend after a dunk; she was supposed to interview Jaiye for her magazine after I linked them up. Little did she know that her own exit was around the corner! It was a rude shock to me, to the entire family, and the Arts community in Lagos. But it made me more conscious of how vulnerable we are as human beings to the call of death. While we got ready for her funeral I got to know of more sudden deaths stories across the land. The late Elder Segun Olusola was a senior friend of Rachael’s. He called to tender his apologies about his inability to attend the funeral and said he was going to attend the funeral of a Permanent Secretary who had died at his

desk in the ofce. I also got to know about a cab driver whose passenger died in the back seat while in transit from Ikeja to Victoria Island. When they arrived at their destination he wouldn’t wake up. The cab driver was in trouble!

the family. There is the problem of trafc congestion.

Family pressure and social demands are also there. Too many friends and family need help. Pressure to help the kids get employment, settle down and get married. I have been forced to read up literature on the In recent times too many people have subject. Indeed, Mr. Sudden Death is very dropped dead, with no obvious sign of ill- much here. health. A couple of young people have died while exercising; others have died while Life style, heart diseases, uncontrolled hypertension, high levels of bad cholesterol descending the staircase. and severe stress conditions are said to be The most dramatic of sudden deaths some of the causes. happened to a former schoolmate Sadly, when it happens we begin to look for somewhere in Bayelsa State. ‘remote’ or ‘spiritual causes.’ That is when A man in his early fties, I guess, he had just some catch the witch in the ofce or in the been made a Senior Advocate of Nigeria. family or where they live. Ignorance is The week after his thanksgiving he slumped indeed a disease. one morning when he entered his car ready Our lives have become so sedentary that we to drive off to work. do not exercise the body enough. We sit He died a week later in the hospital. Last down for hours on end tasking the brain and September a healthy-looking 55 year-old stressing the body. man slumped at his place of work on the Some people sit down from 8 a.m. till 5 p.m. island in Lagos. in front of the computer, anxiously He was rushed to a highbrow hospital and watching the screen and reading reports died about ve days later, a victim of a which could make the heart fail. massive heart attack. We move from the computer to the His wife, (good wives always know when a smartphone reading news reports or man is over working himself) had advised looking at pictures that do not help the him to go to hospital and check his heart. cholesterol level because he always sweated Breathing behind us the determination to profusely at night. He refused. succeed or to out-do our rivals. Ofce and The list is long. I am sure some of us reading social pressures are also there. Sometimes this would have one story or another to tell. we go to bed but the mind does not sleep. Why are sudden deaths on the increase? We wake up tired and set out again for the Why are men and women in the thirties or day’s uncertainties. forties victims of sudden death? On the ip side, when you stay by a dying I am not a medical doctor; so I am not in a friend, family member or colleague, you position to proffer scientic reasons why sometimes wish that sudden death would these deaths have been on the increase. I can be better. only guess. I know that stress level is very high right now in Nigeria. Money to pay the A man who stays sick for three to ve years, suffering, going in and coming out of house rent. Money to pay school fees. hospital and dies in the end would make one Money to maintain the car. Money to feed wish that death had come earlier.

The sudden death phenomenon By Hope Eghagha The terrible terminal diseases are the greatest culprits in this. I remember once telling two elderly citizens that going out suddenly was best for anyone. That it prevented undue suffering, unnecessary hospital costs and trauma. The two old men were quiet for a while in the car. The silence ended. They politely and calmly cautioned me that it gave the victim no opportunity to make amends with God nor did it prepare his family for a sudden exit.

I was cured of my naivety. A sudden death is confusion and sometimes perpetual no tea party. It disorganises the family and disadvantage. all the people around the victim. Remember to listen to your body clock and The demands of modern day living can dive pause for a while if you are tired. anyone crazy. They can make people go to bed without waking up. So we should think Remember to feel and enjoy the simple and worry less. Worrying cannot change things of life particularly with family. Above all, for those who believe, commit the anything. troubling issues to a higher force which Nobody should carry on as if they are work provides a better framework for enduring machines; even machines do break down. the stress of modern day living! Remember that the body needs rest. Remember to get enough sleep. Remember Remember to listen to your body clock and to exercise. Remember that working too pause for a while if you are tired. hard all year round is hazardous to health. Remember to feel and enjoy the simple Remember that when you drop dead the things of life particularly with family. ofď&#x20AC; ce would look for a replacement Above all, for those who believe, commit immediately, even before your body runs the troubling issues to a higher force which cold. provides a better framework for enduring the stress of modern day living! Remember that if you drop dead suddenly you would throw your loved ones into

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