626 CAPRICORN ROAD BLEAK
SEPTEMBER 2018
LABOR
A 92ARTIST Productions Publication
CONTENTS
pg 5 Message from the Editor/Credits
pg 7 This Month’s Theme
pg 8 PLAYGROUND RULES Nothing Breaks Familiarity
pg 70 ROOTS OF INSPIRATION Drawing from Your Surroundings
pg 34 NATURAL ATTENTION Love Amongst the Trees
pg 93 NATURE DEPLETED An Absence of Beauty
pg 50 Off-SITE EXERTION Away from the White Walls
pg 112 SONGS THAT INSPIRED THIS ISSUE Our September Issue Playlist
FEATURES
pg 29 Swing Set Blues
pg 85 Ball’s in Your Court
pg 76 Creativity is My Safe Haven
pg 98 I’m Worried I’ve Been Here Before
WRITING pg 20 A Five-Year-Old Lost in the Sand
pg 60 I Have Hope I Won’t Be Here One Day
pg 39 Hide and Seek
pg 67 A Letter to the Overworked
pg 42 Concrete Crush
pg 105 Lost in the Leaves
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MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR Hey everyone! My name is Ceirra Burton, and I am the creator and editor-in-chief of 626 Capricorn Road. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the September issue. 626 Capricorn Road is a magazine that is ever-changing and with this month’s issue, “Bleak Labor”, I wanted to explore the idea of mundane workflows and use it as a backdrop for everyday life. I hope you guys enjoy the journey you are about to go on as you explore the artsy world of 626 Capricorn Road. Happy reading! Website: www.626capricornroad.com Instagram: @626capricornroad Tumblr: 626capricornroad.tumblr.com Twitter: @626CapRoad Facebook: 626 Capricorn Road Pinterest: 626capricornroad Photography by: Ceirra Burton Written Work by: Ceirra Burton
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This Month’s Theme This month I wanted to explore the idea of monotony and how having a mundane workflow would affect the way you view the world around you. Things that appear bright and shiny could also feel hot and overbearing. Things that may seem colorful can be slightly desaturated based on how skewed your point of view of the world has become over time. Everything at some point becomes predictable and unbearable or is taken away from you in the blink of an eye. I wanted to showcase these ideas in the images and the writing because these are things we deal with daily. Like having a set routine that quickly becomes boring and flat or doesn’t challenge you anymore. Or wanting to recall a past memory, but not being able to fully connect to that person, place, or thing any longer. Life is all about having a collection of experiences you can cherish forever, but what good is having those experiences if they’ve been tainted by repetitive negativity? I hope this theme comes across as you make your way through this issue and it resonates with you in some way. So, without further ado, let’s power through “Bleak Labor.”
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- Ceirra Burton
P L A Y G R O U N D 8
R U L E S
NOTHING BREAKS FAMILIARITY
A Five-Year Old Lost in the Sand Hey, It’s me. If you’re reading this, that means you’ve grown up and are no longer playing in the sandbox. You are in need of some guidance at this moment to help you move past any struggles you’re dealing with right now. I am experiencing the same thing. This thing called life and being a responsible adult. I’ve always admired you from afar because we possessed similar qualities. We’re sort of the same person if you look at it. Always an outsider looking in, but still apart of the joke. You didn’t have to try to fit in, it happened. What amazes me is that you haven’t changed after all these years. A few bumps and bruises along the way, but you’re still as down-to-earth and as ambitious as I remember. You still own a quiet strength many people would kill to have as a personality trait. It’s remarkable to me how you haven’t given up on your goals and dreams. Life can be fulfilling and exciting as well as challenging and unforgiving. Your positive outlook on life has never wavered. Your peers often turn to you for guidance and everyday wisdom. You to set aside your worries to help others, but do you not ask for anything in return? If not, I can see why your selfless acts can bring you emotional trouble. In your line of work, opinions are very fickle and hard to express. Have you thought about journaling your thoughts and emotions? I imagine you’re the creative type now. An artist with a burning desire to use her passion to inspire others. If that is the case, writing might be in your wheelhouse. You can allow your imagination to produce faster results than any other art form. You’d be able to release emotions you’ve kept buried for ages. Or reflect back on pivotal moments and milestones in your life that you’ve surpassed. Or even remember the time when you were another five-year-old in the sandbox. How you had the freedom to let your dreams run wild. I know there are times you wonder where that kid is now, but they’re always with you, no matter where life takes you. I hope this letter helps you in some way to keep trekking forward in life. Make of it what you will, and in time, that spirit you’ve longed to find again will come back to you when you least expect it. Sincerely, Another Outsider 20
Swing Set Blues When I was a kid, there was a swing set I’d play on every day after school in the park near my house. I’d swing as high as I could, then jump off and try to land in the sand as far away as possible. Those were the days where my innocence was in full bloom, and my curiosity at it’s highest peak. As time has gone on, my cynicism has replaced what was once my best quality and my favorite virtue. My visits to that park have become less frequent. The swing set is still there, but it doesn’t look the same. It seems worn down and used as if it entertained many other bright-eyed children. Those who also swung as high as they could and jumped further than their peers. Childhood nostalgia creeps into my mind at the most peculiar times. It reminds me how I’ve failed to keep my innocent state of mind over time. I’ve become too reliant on societal norms and digital innovations to get through my day. I am no longer able to dream without limitations. My subconscious demands I find inspiration elsewhere. There’s not much flowing in my head these days. I used to house a bright and energized mind, it has morphed into a cloud of melancholy. The world terrifies me and makes me feel inadequate. Societal pressures to succeed in life give me daily anxiety. Being an adult is hard, but isn’t that what all adults say when they’ve reached rock bottom. In the same moment you find success, you’ll also drop to your knees in agony and cry to the heavens for a new wave of hope. Life was never a game taught on the playground. It was a place for infinite imagination. Being a kid was a priority. Nothing was more important than that ideal. It’s within this trip down memory lane that I remember it’s okay to come back to that swing set. Now when I do, I bear witness to all the kids playing around it. I lose myself in the thought of what is going through their heads. How vast their imagination must be or how deep their curiosity runs. Their minds flow like river of knowledge. Their creations empty out into the sea of dreams before crashing onto the shores of reality. This is where our worlds collide. One day I can come back here and not feel sullen from the despair of my world. To feel as if time hasn’t run away and left me in a rapid state of aging. I would come back here and have the courage to get back on the swing. Leaving behind all the nonsense I’ve collected over the years. Remembering what it’s like to be free from all responsibilities. One day I’ll come back here and feel inspired again.
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NATURAL ATTENTION 34
LOVE AMONGST THE TREES
Hide and Seek Into the woods, they ran and holding hands to keep from being separated as they searched for the spark in their relationship they left behind. They never meant to drop it purposefully, thinking they could go on without it for a while. It wouldn’t take much to fuel them, just one look into each other’s eyes, but they’ve gone too long without power, and they’re desperate to find their spark before its too late. They can get the generator for free, but sparks are rare and sell out quickly. Lighting in a bottle isn’t a clearance item. They can’t just wait for a new shipment. They must find it. The last place they left it was amongst the trees, so it can’t be far. There’s not much greenery to sort through, but where could it be hiding? 39
Concrete Crush How mysterious it is to have love creep up on you at the most random moment. I’ve watched you from across the court a countless number of times. You stay focused on the game and I became hypnotized by your dedication. This isn’t the first time you mesmerized me with your talent. I’ve had my eye on you for weeks and today was the first day I wanted to take a chance on you. Yet, I’ve had my heart broken one too many times by your type. The smooth talkers who glide their way through life, promising you the world, but shaming you when you want to give it back. But, you were different. 42
You didn’t see me as some random conquest. I intrigued you and gave you a sense of romanticism that you’ve never experienced before, And that it is what drew me closer to you. The idea of desiring something you’ve never had. Uncharted waters that made you salivate for a taste. I was the first match that challenged you to up your game. Yet, you would never stand a chance. I take no pleasure in mind games and romantic riddles. Speak to me in plain verses devoid of flowery, ancestral language. Street slang tongues on and off the court. For if you want me, there’s no need to hide behind synonyms of love. Repeat after me. I want you. Is that so hard to say out in this concrete jungle?
OFF-SITE EXERTION 50
AWAY FROM THE WHITE WALLS
I Have Hope I Won’t Be Here One Day White walls, fluorescent lighting, daydreaming windows, dreary co-workers, cubicles full of reality, it’s a something I hope one day I never have to see again. I’m paralyzed in my seat day after day with no end to the monotony in sight. It’s something you’d think I get used to, but I am dying a slow, laborious death as I witness my peers move through their day with ease. Vicious pings of envy puncture me. I sip on cups of jealousy like water in the desert. I’m chained to a desk that berates and taunts me with verses of mundane cruelty. I’ve stated time and time again how it’ll be a glorious sight to behold when it is time for my final departure from this workplace. When it is time to sing my goodbye song, I will rejoice in the beauty of its melody. How I’ve prayed for that day to arrive. Until then, I will keep to myself and bathe in the redundancy of my occupation. 60
A Letter to the Overworked
Dear Overworked Person, You are not alone. There are millions of people like you. It’s impressive how much you put up with on a daily basis. Long hours starting with early mornings and ending with late nights. Bullshit wages and minimal downtime for yourself. I bet you go through your days with your task list barely completed, convincing yourself that you’re responsible for wasting time. You look back and realize you spent half your time scrolling through your social media feeds and watching YouTube. Now, this could be one of two things. One, you’re taking on too many tasks, and the pressure to finish everything adds unnecessary stress to your day. Yet, you come home, and you are entirely wired. This may lead to the second thing. Lack of sleep. You’re so worried about the uncompleted tasks that you unintentionally stay up late brainstorming all the ways you can combat your lack of productivity.
“If I could just get up a little bit earlier, I’d have more time to get things done.” “If I could stay later, I can finish my day with complete satisfaction.”
Although, there are times where you don’t have a reason to describe your current mood. Or why you need to chug down as much caffeine as possible to keep yourself awake. The structure of your to-do lists changes with your current temperament, and you’re now starting to feel the effects of being overworked. Your willingness to get things done is now in overdrive. This can lead to burnouts, mental breakdowns, and unhealthy mood swings. Exhaustion will hit you like a semi-truck into a cement wall. You’ll reach the brink of giving up and feel as if nothing works anymore.
Yet, for every thought of defeat comes the willpower to create change in your life. That ugly voice inside your head will tell you, “you will never be good enough” is lethal and keeps you from reaching your goals. However, you are more than that voice of negativity. I can guarantee you, everybody has those moments at some point. Some people are able to combat it faster than others. They can easily turn that voice off and decompress. If you’re not one of those people, you’ll have to find something that is right for you. It’s not going to be easy, but you put in the effort, you will succeed. The last thing I’ll say is if you ever find yourself hitting a mental or emotional wall, take a deep breath and step back to assess the situation. From there, you can decide if you’re going to bounce off of that wall or break through it. When you figure it out, you’ll be able to have a better handle on your life. I wish you the best of luck. Sincerely, Someone Just Like You
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ROOTS OF INSPIRATION
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DRAWING FROM YOUR SURROUNDINGS
Creativity is My Safe Haven 76
Creativity is my safe haven when I’ve reached my lowest point. It carries me out of my state of mind and releases my inner demons. It is a place where my emotions collide, and my sanity is challenged. Art is a form of suffering and suffering gives art its true meaning. I could never live without creativity. It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive and keeps me from creeping towards the edge with no endpoint in sight. It’s something that helps me cope with all the miseries in the world. It helps me connect to those just like me. Creators of the night with our work being praised daily by a loyal audience. It comforts me in the dark, and it warms me in the light. It’s a natural high that I actively seek like junkies needing a quick fix. It takes a lot of mental and emotional strength to live this life. Facing rejection every single day without batting an eyelid. Molding my ideas into relatable words, sights, and sounds.
Being creatively stimulated is essential. Doing what you love, not only to inspire others but to seek validation for yourself.
“I’m doing a good job, right?”
We are always asking for approval because we all want to be praised for our work. At least I know I do. So, it’s off to my safe haven I go to work endlessly into the night. Creating a body of work that makes me proud. Being a fan of the subject matter is crucial or else, why are you producing this piece at all? We speak freely with an open mind, bearing our entire soul. We bring truths to the surface most people would never dare to speak aloud. Keeping them hidden in their conscious until it’s time to reveal their darkest secrets. I’ve never thought of myself as someone who would be open to trading secrets, but art is an imitation of life and vice versa. Your art derives from the experiences of your life. I would only get rid of my safe haven when I would no longer need art to explore the depths of my emotions. I will no longer need to provide others with the inspiration to become the best version of themselves. It won’t be a place of comfort for me anymore. I am an artist who creates to survive in this world and without the will to survive, there’s no need for art on this earth.
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Ball’s in Your Court You played me for days like a puppet on a string, and now you’re telling me to choose between you and following my dreams. It is an ultimatum seen too many times in fictionalized stories. What makes people think love will always win? I guess if you love someone, you’ll follow them to the end of the earth no matter what your dreams may entail. What if it has more to do with your own well-being versus depending on someone else to keep you happy? Do your dreams outweigh your love for someone else? Or is it a more comfortable choice than that? I’ve sung songs of love on many occasions, but you were always lost in translation. You have now comprehended the reality of our situation. You have bestowed upon me the pressure to make the final choice. I’ve always loved you, but your recent behavior makes me question your motives. Are you afraid to lose me? Why are you frightened of my aspirations? You may think of your intentions, but actions always speak louder than words. Those who own blind eyes support the most horrifying truths. If your acquired behavior continues, I would be better off without you. This one moment in time does not outweigh everything we’ve been through. It’s this Goddamn ultimatum that is putting me through the ringer. A pros-and-cons list that I will never finish. There are too many memories to weed through to get to the depths of my love for you. The origin story of our relationship muddled over time. You don’t want to go down this route because I can guarantee you, you’ll never reach your destination. You’ll never find the answers you seek. Forever with you will never be more significant than a future of success for me. You and I are only in sync when we’re on the same page. When you skip ahead or fall behind, our relationship becomes unhinged. I will only be with you if you can support me with my aspirations. You must agree to stand by my side, but if you hesitate in your reply, then you should say goodbye right now. Believe in me and my love for you or lose me forever. How’s that for an ultimatum? As they say, the ball’s in your court. What’s it going to be?
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E R U T NA D E T E L P DE AN ABSENCE OF BEAUTY 93
I’m Worried I’ve Been Here Before Have you ever walked into a place and felt everything looked eerily familiar? I have. These feelings stem from my nightmares. I am haunted by the horrors of my reality mixed with the fears of my subconscious. Together, they create dark places I pray I’d never have to travel alone. There are colored with gray hues and innate loneliness creating a desaturated world. It has been drained of hope, leaving behind a bleak masterpiece. Something about this place is more haunting than the rest I’ve seen in my dreams. There is an absence of life here. An overcast light bleeds through cloudy skies. The white noise in the air blows like wind chimes in a storm. A sense of eeriness washes over me, and I’m worried I’ve been here before. This place is a replica of my most frightening nightmare. Our world is devoid of joy and basking the glow of wretchedness. The human condition stripped down to nothing more than just an empty shell. Lights and clockwork with nothing behind the eyes. There is no empathy for humanity, only elevated survival. Why am I the only one here? I‘m trapped in a dreamer’s limbo, waiting for somebody to wake me up. An apocalypse of the mind and I wasn’t invited to seek shelter underground. This particular state of dreaming happens during my most vulnerable period. The time where I am judged harshly, and there’s nothing I can do about the impact. My insecurities begin to take center stage. My daily activities are filled with selfdoubt. It’s human nature to feel as if the world is out to get you. Maybe I have been here before. It feels too real to be a dream. This is where I believe my reality has been compromised. Everything I fear has manifested itself in familiar things, yet everything feels out of place. It’s like I’ve traveled through dream after dream and now I’m beginning to question if I’ve woken up at all. This is where I feel like nothing is as it seems. Nature isn’t this lifeless. There are more people than just me that inhabit the world. As I continue walking, there is a good possibility my worlds will collide and wreak havoc on my surroundings. My night visions will grow and fester like wild roots and become my new reality. 360˚ views of the bleak horror from my dreams. Yes. I have been here before, and I fear this place will never leave my list of travel destinations.
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Lost in the Leaves It’s a sight to behold that is nature depleted of its beauty. The essence of the scenery surrounding us, shrinking on a moment’s notice. The world turns ugly, and its inhabitants possess evil actions. We are destroying the world. Yet, we blame Mother Nature for losing her appeal when she sheds her skin. Baring herself until we’re frolicking through dirt and weeds. Rarities such as bountiful nature will soon be as fictional as a bedtime story. It’s incredible we haven’t destroyed the earth entirely. With our romanticized idealism, we will bear witness to the chaos unfolding. The air will become toxic, and the ground will melt into its roots. The heat from the devil’s front yard, hindering us from racing through a day. How come we can’t stop and assess the problem with a clear mind? Open our eyes to what’s in front of us and stop looking to the past for answers. Our history is full of hatred and egotistic thought. There’s no room for error when it comes to repairing the garden. If we continue at this rate, we’ll never have paradise on earth. Our memories eroded from the toxins in our homes. Will you continue to seek beauty from where you rest if the morning light clogs up your senses? There’s no denying that our sacred place is on the verge of being destroyed by the monsters who control our land. Our physical strength is no match for their weaponry. Our mental strength could never stand up to their mind games. Our emotional strength will break like the twigs beneath our feet at the sound of their verbal lashes. So, what do we do? Do we remain lost in the leaves? Out of sight but just within the frame to be included in the conversation? What happens when they ask for our opinions, but alter the narrative? Will we speak out? Or will our mouths remain shut? It is walking through this area that the depletion of mother nature is ever so apparent. I hope these thoughts help you in the future. Now you have a hint as to where it all began. How the destruction of nature’s beauty fell into the hands of the corrupt.
We performed the deed, and now you must suffer the consequence.
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SONGS THAT INSP
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PIRED THIS ISSUE It’s Hard to Say I Do, When I Don’t - Fall Out Boy Hard Times - Paramore Work Me - The Black Keys Hang You from the Heavens - The Dead Weather End of the World - Deap Vally No Surprise - Daughtry Future Starts Slow - The Kills My Song 5 - HAIM California Nights - Best Coast Rabbit in the Bag - Nico Vega McFearless - Kings of Leon Surface Envy - Sleater-Kinney Just Like Heaven - The Cure Ways to Go - Grouplove Ash Tree Lane - MS MR That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) - Panic! at the Disco Pressure -The 1975 Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve The Last High - The Dandy Warhols Helena Beat - Foster the People Aeroplane Blues - The Black Keys The Desperate Man - The Black Keys We Started Nothing - The Ting Tings Faith in You - Among Savages Me vs. The Apocalypse - American Tomahawk Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5 Give Up - CSS Everything - Fefe Dobson American Daydream - Electric Guest Shadowplay - The Killers God Killed the Queen - Louis XIV
Next Issue Release Date: Oct 26th, 2018 Theme: “Color Me Deadly”
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