Deep-London Magazine July 2011

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July 2011 Issue Ninety One

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com • facebook deep-london • twitter @deep_london Hello there.. ...and welcome to issue 91, and also to summer! Oh, no, wait, it’s raining. No, hang on, sun’s out. Nope, I’m about to be struck by lightning. Welcome to summer indeed... Never mind, it’s always bright and cheery within the pages of Deep-London, except when it’s not...

Anyhoo, it’s been a busy old month here what with all the local festivals and whatnot, as well as a plethora of birthdays, launches and other shindigs. We’re quite worn out, but no rest for the wicked as this month is even busier. We’re starting out with a night consoling one of our erstwhile own who went on to work at the News of the World, then it’s a bit of light London-ing, my birthday, Windsor Races, the start of the 2011 Fantasy Football Season, a bit more Ferrari driving and, hopefully, a nice sit down in a beer garden somewhere. If you see us out and about please do remember that the hint from last month about buying us drinks in appreciation of 8 years of this quality rubbish in your pocket - for free! - still stands and all donations are gratefully received.

But that’s enough shameless self promotion re my glittering media mongrol lifestyle and on to what’s in the mag this month. It’s not a bad effort as it goes, with a chat with the Foo Fighters’ Pat Smear, more adventures in winemaking, a review / preview of Stand! at the Fairfield so far, Auntie May and her continuing gnome obsession and an article written by my sister-in-law and Croydon ‘face’ Jo Forbes, who’s about to cycle 40,000 miles across Kenya in aid of Cancer charity Women v Cancer. A tremendous effort we reckon, so if you only read one article this month please read that one and donate all you can, even a quid goes towards the total.

Full details of how to get involved are in the article itself.

Elsewhere in the mag our Surrey Street photo competition is still running (see advert, inside front cover, or just to your left, in fact) and we need more entries please! We’ll be displaying them in the mag and in one of the Surrey Street units, and you could win a hamper of goodies from the market along with some booze donated by us. Closing date is 31 August, so get snapping, you talented people you.

We gather last month that a few of you didn’t get to see a copy of the mag. We’re not quite sure why, but if you missed our 8th birthday issue you can read it online here: http://doiop.com/deepjune11 Righto, that’s it from me for another month, enjoy the sunshine / rain / lightning / plague of frogs, and we’ll see you all next month.

Avanti, allons-y, CHEERS! Angela xxx Your Bonsai-Editor

Contact Us: editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk staff and contributors: auntie may, petal dunwoody, susan nosnibod, jo forbes, jenn nimmo-smith advertising sales: call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk publishing & design: deep-london web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net Happy Birthday: Bonsai Editor, Nick, Wayne, Marco, Alan, Martin, Jamie, Steph, Charlene, John ‘O, Natalie, Terry, Chloe, Heather, Katharine, Pete, Matt, Mark, Stewart.

Congratulations: Hayley Turner.

R.I.P: Roy Skelton, Martin Rushent, Donald Hewlett, Brian Haw, Clarence Clemens, Peter Falk, Arthur Budgett, Cosimo Caliandro, Mike Waterson, ‘Wurzel’ Burston.

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: HELLO@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK what’s on listings are absolutely FREE!

Last date for inclusion in August issue -

20th July 2011 1

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JULY 2011 THIS MONTH’S FEATURES:

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Foo Fighters

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STAND!

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Auntie May

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Jo Goes To Kenya

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Deep Go Wine Making - part II

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Month in Pix

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8 COMPETITIONS:

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Surrey Street / Deep Photography Competition - inside front cover

12 LISTINGS: What’s On Guide

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Jenn Nimmo-Smith catches up with Foo Fighters (and ex-Nirvana) guitarist Pat Smear to talk garage albums, their first ever DVD and a summer doing the festival rounds...

H

ow does it feel to be back as a part of the Foo Fighters? As we know you went away and then came back.

“Well, it was really fun, and really funny back then, but I like it better this time round; it’s even more fun this time. We’re all grown up now, I think that helps, I don’t know, it’s just more fun, it’s different and I feel more comfortable.”

You’ve been working in Dave’s

and that made it a lot easier instead of having some boss telling you what to do, if that makes sense.

“That helped a lot and that we had practiced so much before, and doing it at Dave’s house was so much more comfortable than being in a studio - we were in his own studio - it was kinda cool.”

In the DVD you had all of your kids running about with you during the recording - do you think that added to the chilled out vibe?

"This was easily the best recording experience I’ve had, ever, and the best record I’ve ever made. I’ve never made a record that was actually easy!" garage for this album (Wasting Light), a sort of back to basics approach - were you happy with this?

“Yeah this was easily the best recording experience I’ve had, ever, and the best record I’ve ever made too. Somehow it was really easy, I’ve never made a record that was actually easy, getting to the end, when it was over, instead of feeling like ‘oh it’s been going on and on I just want the end to come’ but this time it was like ‘oh no! It’s over?!’”

Why do you think that was?

“I don’t know, there wasn’t a feeling of pressure - Butch [Vig, who produced the album] helped to make it easy first of all, he fitted in well with everybody, it was like having an extra guy in the band

“Yes definitely, it was really chilled, we would all have lunch together, a lot of the time with the kids, that really helped, just being at Dave’s house helped a lot.”

What was it like working with Butch Vig on this album?

“That was really easy, he’s really mellow… He’s really great at what he does, at moulding your songs and making them better. He’s really good at making you play how you should play, he kinda does it without making you feel stupid, but confident - somehow he made it ok when he tells you to play something five more times if it wasn’t good enough but he didn’t feel insulting or degrading. He just gets the best out of you, which is great.”

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What were the key inspirations for Wasting Light?

“I would say the surroundings more than anything - just the whole way it was done, the surroundings for the whole thing and practising before with Butch and all that stuff - it’s one of those records that really took on where we did it.”

Foo Fighters have been going for sixteen years, this is your 7th studio album and now you’ve just brought out a new DVD – what made you decide to bring out a DVD now?

“Well, there’s a couple of things; one is we just wanted to document the recording of the record at Dave’s anyway which was kind of the original idea and then it just seemed like the time. It’s been a long time and someone in the band had watched the Tom Petty documentary which was four hours or something like that and somebody said, ‘you know what, we should do this now before it turns into a four hour film!’ It just seemed like the right time as we were filming anyway to document the making of the record.”

Was it always planned or did it just come together, from just filming you guys in the studio?

“It was decided beforehand; well, originally Dave wanted to do kind of two films; a documentary of the making of the record but also a documentary about the band, but just not at the minute. We just thought maybe we would put this

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on a CD, throw in a DVD with the CD, maybe we’ll just do this for the fans, in bits and pieces for now, then once James [Moll, director of the DVD) was hired he decided that he wanted the movie to be and it became that. And now its all this!”

Having watched the documentary it seems to be an open account of the band, how did you feel about talking so frankly on camera?

“It felt weird, it’s a weird thing to do, a weird thing to watch, it’s great that we did it and all but we’re not going to watch it again!

Unless you’ve done it you don’t really know a way to describe it, it’s very strange.”

Was it quite difficult to watch back?

people and that was really fun and different and kind of reminds you of when you first started playing in a band, and we did club shows where we did secret shows and clubs - 3 hour shows and those were really fun for lots of different reasons. For one you can play the whole new record and open the set, and they were long and hot and sweaty and everybody was two feet from the stage, and now arena shows are obviously great it’s the best thing in the world. But I don’t really have a favourite way to do it... Actually, my favourite way is mix them up and always have something different coming up not too far in the future. It’s just whatever’s different.”

Do you have any plans for doing something similar, like a garage

"Documentaries about other bands, yeah, love to watch that stuff but when you’re in it... I like the little part of it that I wasn’t in!"

“It wasn’t that it’s difficult, it’s just that it’s... I can’t even think of the word for it... It’s weird to see you talking on a film, it’s just weird!

Documentaries about other bands, yeah, love to watch that stuff, but when you’re in it, I mean, I like the little part of it that I wasn’t in!”

So watching it back was there anything that surprised or shocked you that anyone else said or anything you saw?

“There was nothing that shocked me. There were a few things here and there that didn’t really surprise me but were like ‘oh I never knew that’, that kind of thing, but no not really.”

Moving onto your live shows, obviously you have just done the garage tour in the states, how do you feel about doing those shows in comparison to your bigger arena shows?

“They’re really hard to compare they’re all equally fun, we did a tour where we played in people’s garages in the daytime to about 50

tour in the UK? “I don’t know - I think right now we’re just on a big festival tour, I don’t know, I don’t look at the schedule! It seems like so far it’s basically just festivals.”

With the UK shows coming up, you’re playing Milton Keynes bowl – you’ve played Wembley twice and sold it out twice – how did you feel when you sold out both dates at the Milton Keynes Bowl in such a short period of time?

“It’s awesome first of all! It’s really exciting to play as there was the famous Queen concert at the Milton Keynes bowl in 1982 so whenever we play somewhere like that I have a film of Queen playing, which is extra exciting – the same thing kinda happened to me from the Wembley show too; I know the venue so well from the video footage so it’s that kinda thing – it feels like ‘wow, really? Us? We’re really doing this place, where this band did this gig?’”

Is there anything special we can 6

expect from your upcoming set at Milton Keynes?

“Yeah – but I can’t tell you! It’s all part of the fun!”

You’ve also got a good few support acts, is there any acts in particular you think people should be checking out?

“I don’t know who they are, you’re going to have to tell me!”

In particular you have a Scottish band called Biffy Clyro – “Ah yes! We’re with them today; we’re playing a bunch of shows with them. We just did a couple of weeks touring the US with them, they’re great, I love one of their albums. We always have a good time with them.”

You’re headlining T in the Park this year and with Biffy being from Glasgow they’ve got a huge fan base up there. I believe you played T in the Park back in 2002: “2002 I wasn’t around so I don’t know – that’s a Nate question!”

How do you feel about coming to Scotland?

“We’re always excited; they’re a great crowd, one of the best crowds in the world.”

What can we expect from the T in the Park headline set? Anything Scottish?

“Yes – but I’m still not telling you! But nice try.”

Have you got any good festival stories?

“No, nothing like that! We’re actually a pretty boring crowd of people. Bring the kids out, have lunch, have dinner, play a show.”

Any good survival tips for festivals?

“No; it’s easy, it’s fun. It’s an easy thing to do, no need for survival tips!”

Foo Fighters new album ‘Wasting Light’ is out now. The documentary ‘Foo Fighters: Back and Forth’ is realeased on DVD/Blu Ray on June 14th. For festival dates please visit www.foofighters.com

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I

bringing quality music and a modicum of mayhem to the Oval Tavern that so many were willing to fork out £15 (a not insubstantial amount of dosh in these straightened times, but if you want quality events you’ve got to expect to pay for them or they simply will not happen) to support his new venture. Still, it was heartening to see that as well as the already enlightened there was also a hefty retinue of new punters, new as Snowboy & Fowokan, 19.05.11. well, I suspect, to the Fairfield.

We were very happy to be invited to Talking of the enlightened, Fowokan, the first STAND! event on the 19th May. It was held in the Arnhem Gallery of the tonight’s support act, will be familiar to many of them, having been formed from Fairfield Halls. The entireity of the Croydon arts scene has taken a buffeting the ashes of legendary British funk band Cymande by drummer Sam Kelly and recently and after all the negativity and singer Jimmy Lyndsay. Tonight, uncertainty, it was heartening to see a Fowokan’s mix of soul reggae roots and new, high profile event in the Borough. hard hitting funky vibes is perfectly I’ve always thought that the Arhhem is pitched to get the crowd going and underused as the set up is excellent - a ready for Snowboy, who has a major good sized venue with good acoustics reputation to live up to as possibly the with a large well served bar. The finest Latin Conga player in the World. ambience is pleasant (if a little gloomy) As soon as he walks on stage he has a and the stage impressive with great lights mesmeric presence as both a player and and sound. I’d never realised there was a band leader. The heavy mamba crow's nest DJ booth until I noticed influence gets the dancers going again, Johnnie Bolax in there, whipping up the even more, which helps to disintegrate crowd, as is his wont.

There were many familiar faces in the the usual prophylactic barrier between crowd, it seemed as if everyone who was stage and audience. In a set chock full of conga-fury, one of the highlights for me anyone was there - a large helping of friends of Graeme, but that’s no problem, was the re-working of the New Avengers theme, which went down particularly it’s a measure of the work he put in t’s been 3 months now (well, it will have been on 19th July) since STAND! at Fairfield launched. Time, we think, for a brief rundown of the story so far and a look ahead to an ever more glittering future, with reviews from Petal Dunwoody and Susan Nosnibod (one day someone apart from me will write for this magazine under their own name...).

well.

The first Stand! event makes us feel that this partnership can fill some of the void left by the Council. Graeme has obviously got a top-notch artist roster and Fairfield have shown welcome initiative in getting behind the venture.

As far as we’re conderned, it deserves to be a success.

Petal Dunwoody “Strange to be back, innit?” David McAlmont & Cellar Door. 23.06.11 It seemed a tall order.

“Meet us in The George for pre-gig G&Ts,” Nipper sounded more excited than usual. “I’ve rounded up a posse.”

Cellar Door were due on stage in twenty minutes as support to Croydonborn soul singer, David McAlmont. We weren’t going to be late. Taking two steps at a time into the underpass beneath Wellesley Road who should I bump into other than local impresario and ‘STAND!’ creator Graeme Miall.

“You’re coming, aren’t you?” he looked a little tired, wired even; the look of a man who has invested a lot of energy into a bold and exciting venture and now it was (almost) showtime!

“See you there! Just going to get the others,” I called over my shoulder and for a moment he appeared to be an exquisitely glazed Toby-jug brimming snowboy

fowokan

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with frappuccino! The posse, huddled round a table in The George, turned out to be local punk poppers Camp Dwarf, the lovely Ms Scott (resplendent in kimono and Converse and cardboard crown), and two characters dressed respectively as squaw and cowboy.

“This,” offered Nipper, “is Paul and Black Elvis.”

“Just call me Colbert,” drawled Black Elvis, “I’m off duty.” adding, “I just adore McAlmont!”

We downed our gin and galloped back up to the Fairfield Halls. It’s just how we roll. The Arnhem Gallery – they sure are mighty big boots to fill – and, to be fair, the two hundred plus gathered tonight for the second ‘STAND’ (a monthly installment of high quality live entertainment one would expect of possibly Camden’s Jazz Café or Ronnie Scott’s) were never going to be elbowing for space at either the bar or on the floor; which was just as well as they were a thirsty crowd and they wanted to get down. The setting is near perfect: heavy velvet, well-worn wood, low lighting, long (well-stocked and professional) bar, david mcalmont

skatroniks jamaica

cool crowd and a great sound system, too. Perhaps it was these elements plus the dusty tannoy announcement of; “…ladies and gentlemen, Cellar Door will be onstage in two minutes” that imbued the evening with a sense of not being in Croydon but elsewhere – another time, another place – a magical David Lynch version of a 1950s mid-west ballroom. Cellar Door only add to this magic. The quietly confident Mike and Aimee ply the crowd with their heady home-brew of acoustic, country-folk americana: haunting harmonies (think

David smiles a smile that momentarily blinds and the band explode into ‘Diamonds Are Forever.’ Pure class! True, it’s been a while since the charts have been bothered by McAlmont. ‘Yes’ and ‘You Do’ (both eliciting a huge cheer tonight) - were immensely memorable epic, electric singles with post-Suede guitarist Bernard Butler - 1995 being the last. It’s a shame because tonight is a master class in larger-than-life rock ‘n’ soul.

McAlmont has clearly quietly chiselled away at his art over the ensuing years: a

"Documentaries about other bands, yeah, love to watch that stuff but when you’re in it... I like the little part of it that I wasn’t in!" husband-wife Minnesotans, Low) breeze over playfully knotted open-tuned guitars. Aimee’s voice conjures up at times a mellow Laura Cantrell or else Beth Orton. The vibe on “Top of The Wave” and “Acid Truth” in particular opens up a space somewhere between Linda & Richard Thompson and fellow west country artistes, Rustin Man & Beth Gibbons. Their set is brought to a close with a slow-mo and intimate take on Otis Redding’s ‘Respect.’ R.E.S.P.E.C.T! In a pale three-button suit and opennecked shirt, bejewelled with bauble and brooch and bling, David McAlmont sashays to the front of the stage in shiny brogues and adjusts the microphone, just so: it is clear that we are in the presence of a star. The band quietly take up their positions behind him; everything falls into place with professional ease. Out front there is a palpable thrill in the air and the crowd draws nearer.

“It’s a long time since I was last in Croydon,” says David. The rings on his fingers dazzle as he gestures. “I grew up on Sydenham Road.” There is a whoop from somewhere nearby. I spot Black Elvis, Stetson clutched to his chest: reverent; waiting. We’re all waiting, dear.

cursory search throws up a handful of ‘cool/tasteful’ collaborators: Michael Nyman, Weller, Duffy, Morrissey, Sharleen Spiteri, David Arnold. The band rock-out solidly without falling into the usual ‘muso’ clichés. At times they remind of a late-90s Wilco… albeit a Wilco fronted by, at turns, Shirley Bassey or a falsetto-voiced Mavis Staples. Or… David McAlmont! We are treated to a great and tasteful set encompassing an arc from 1992 to the present day. His voice soars effortlessly over the chiming ‘Unworthy’, ‘Friendly Fire’ and Tom Waits’ ‘Grapefruit Moon’.

“We’ve played that number everywhere from Luton to Tiger Bay,” announces the singer, cooling himself with a paper fan.

“And Croydon!” someone rightly shouts out.

“Of course,” he says, “and Croydon.”

Again the smile, broader and brighter still. David McAlmont mops his brow with a handkerchief, pauses, and, as if to himself, adds quietly, “It’s strange to be back, innit?” You can take the boy out of Croydon but…‘STAND’ with McAlmont and Cellar Door - It’s been a quality night. A tall

zigaboo modeliste

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demonstrates that “Modeliste is the most order but boots were filled! Stetsons off to Mr. Miall! Giddy up! It’s how we roll... brilliant American Funk percussionist of Susan Nosnibod the Contemporary Era!” The King of the Funky Drums, Percussion Maestro, and Coming up in July: Godfather of Groove, Zigaboo Modeliste Zigaboo Modeliste and Friends, The takes listeners to funk depths only he Coalminers. 13.07.11 could possibly reach!

Now, I could pretend to know The original The Meters LP’s were all everything about Zigaboo Modeliste, recorded with Ziggy at the drums and his legendary drummer and founder member work has been sampled many times over of The Meters, but I only know a little from artists such as Musiq, Queen bit, and that was it, so here’s what Latifah, Run DMC, NWA, Ice Cube, Salt people who do can tell you what to N’ Pepa, Cypress Hill, EPMD, Public expect: Enemy, A Tribe Called Quest, Beastie Joseph “Zigaboo” Modeliste is a Boys, Naughty by Nature, and Tweet just master drummer, rhythm innovator, to name a few. Ziggy is a BMI award percussionist, and New Orleans legend. winner for the Young Gunz track, “Can’t The most highly acclaimed drummer ever Stop Won’t Stop” and his drum sound to hail from the Crescent City, Ziggy’s also provided the main loops for Amerie’s creativity has been a wellspring of funk “1Thing,” which was nominated for two influence for three decades and inspired Grammy’s and was #1 on the R&B many Hip-Hop tracks. charts.

His innovative work as a member of Ziggy has written over 200 songs the internationally acclaimed R&B group, which display both his musical genius and The Meters (considered, along with original funk style. He is especially artists like James Brown, one of the renowned for his syncopated rhythms progenitors of funk music), as well as his and his second line funk styles. side work with artists like Keith Richards, So, what we can gather from that is Robert Palmer, and Dr. John, has that a) as Petal just said ‘I don’t know garnered him an unparalleled level of who Zigaboo Modeliste is but The respect among musicians and fans.

Meters were a shit-hot band’ b) if you Ziggy’s style is unique. He is a master of don’t think you’ve heard any Meters or creating funk grooves and new concepts Zigaboo, you probably have, loads of for funk drumming. times, without knowing it, and, c) if you Zigaboo’s music consistently like funk, you’ll funking love this!

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Skatroniks Jamaica. 21.07.11 Skatroniks Jamaica: 8 members, who are all bandleaders in their own right, come together to form an all-star band for the love of music.

As the BBC review for their debut album ‘Skalsa #1’ says; “Jamaican jazz guitar wizard, founding father of ska, and all-round music legend Ernest Ranglin doesn’t put his seal of approval on any old album. So the presence of his handwritten sleeve notes praising the debut from former Aswad member Clifton “Bigga” Morrison’s Skatroniks Jamaica tells you all you need to know.

“Featuring a crack team of seasoned musicians (Bigga on keys and vocals, Don Chandler on bass, Kendrick Rowe and Tony Uter on drums and percussion, Alan Weekes on guitar, and hornsmen Brian and Trevor Edwards and Jay Phelps), Skalsa #1 reminds us why the first Jamaican beat to “go international” sounded so good.”

Skatroniks Jamaica are the real deal, mixing Ska, Jazz, Reggae, Latin and Dub and, like pretty much all the other STAND! artists to perform thus far, this lot are another not to be missed.

Zigaboo Modeliste, 13th July. £17.50 Skatroniks Jamaica, 21st July. £15.00 More info and tickets from: www.standatfairfield.co.uk

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Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May and adventures with the boy wizard. . .

H

ello one and all. Well, I've been out and about this month, mainly in London but at least it's out of Croydon. On a bit of a nostalgia trip, I got tickets to see Cinderella (the 80's hair metal/blues band, not the panto) at Shepherd's Bush. Due to a monumental ticketing disaster, or possibly mistaken identity, I ended up sitting in the Royal Box, instead of propping up the barrier. To compound my misery, I had loitered in the pub too long and completely missed Voodoo Six so, cheered by the fact that I was going to hear my favourite power ballad (Bad Seamstress Blues) I sat through an appalling Europe-style Swedish band, the name of whom I refused to remember, and Cinderella's entire (but short) set but when the lights came up at the end I was still waiting in vain for my song. I became incandescent with rage and there was general disbelief amongst the crowd that they didn't play their most popular song. All in all, a complete waste of £30.

With my Dark Angel winging his way on a Finnish adventure, Edith and I decided at the last minute to go and join the crowds in Trafalgar Square for the final Harry Potter premiere. But what to wear? Never ones to shy away from a challenge we decided to go as characters from the book - I wanted to be the Whomping Willow and Edith decided to cunningly disguise herself as the Weasleys' Ford Anglia. My costume was quite easy, utilising the wood from a disastrous picket fence experiment, which I tied round myself with an old dressing gown cord, finished off with the trimmings that Elmo kindly cut off my climbing rose a couple of weeks ago. Edith's costume was slightly more challenging but once we'd arranged to borrow Gareth from the lovely Miss B overnight (for those of you who don't know, Gareth is a car) and decked him out with a couple of spare oars left over from Edith's thriving dinghy hire business to be the wing bits at the back, she was looking rather good. We duly arrived, disappointingly far back in the crowd, and set about moving forwards in a determined manner. I 'whomped' 12

rather successfully and quickly despatched a posse of timid-looking schoolgirls, while Edith discovered that if she swung Gareth rhythmically from side to side while shuffling forwards, people scattered like ninepins leaving the way clear for us to get to the front.

Having achieved our goal, and realising what a disappointing experience standing and waving to celebrities who ignore you is, it just remained for us to get something to eat. We selected Burger King using a width-of-the-door criteria, and while Edith was attempting to dislodge her fuselage from the entrance, I gabbled our orders to a

Oh, and by the way, last month's competition was won by, well nobody actually. I opened my email in trepidation but had only received five phishing emails offering to deposit $8.5 million into my account (one from an unfortunate heiress with a wicked stepmother) - it was obviously far too taxing for you all so I'm keeping all the prizes for myself [the competition is open until the end of July - if you didn’t see it in last month’s Auntie May article

My Harry Potter costume - the Whomping Willow - was quite easy, utilising the wood from a disastrous picket-fence experiment. . . bemused Albanian, only to discover that in the rush to leave I'd left my purse in my 'hobbycraft' bag, and Edith's insistence on wearing a 'bonk bag' means that she is only able to carry round a maximum of £2.67 at any given time. So we trawled home, hungry, to divest ourselves of our finery.

And rather tenuously on the subject of fashion, what on earth is it with all the nasty check shirts guys are all wearing nowadays? You may not have noticed them, but now I've pointed them out you won't fail to be amazed at the sheer number of them, out every evening, even in the most 'metal' of establishments. I myself try to keep abreast of fashion trends (although I draw the line at those cardigans with the front longer than the back on the grounds that when I look in the mirror I think I'm falling over forwards) but honestly guys, there's fashion and there's sheep mentality. I even saw one teamed with pink floral shorts the other day ….

visit: http://doiop.com/deepjune11, and enter so she’s forced to stump up the prizes! Ed].

On a far more positive note, not only have our intrepid gnomes returned, but they have brought a posse of reinforcements with them. I'm thinking of making them a little tent so they can have their own festival amongst the irises.

That's all for this month folks. I'm looking forward to High Voltage later this month and will report back next time. In the meantime, stay safe and upright.

Auntie May returns next month. . .

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Or, Dyke on a Bike (calm down, those were her words!), or, Jo Goes To Kenya, or, Give Us All Your Fecking Money for an Incredibly Good Cause. . .

O

f all the crazy things I’ve done in my life (such as running off to Australia with a lap dancer for three weeks or flying out to Gambia for an internet date...who I later married) this takes the biscuit! Cycle 400km in 5 days?

Me?! At nearly 44 years old? It must be a mid life crisis! But as improbable as it may seem, that’s what I’m doing: I’ve signed up for Women V Cancer November 2011 (http://www.actionforcharity.co.uk).

Yup, I have just 5 months to get match-fit, from I confess, rather a couch-potato start (and have just 2 months to raise nearly £3,000) Then I’ll be one of 80 women getting a very sore bottom & stiff legs for one very good reason: to raise money for breast, cervical and ovarian cancer charities.

And as if that wasn’t challenge enough, those 400km are across the rift valley in Kenya. From the slopes of majestic Mount Kenya to the magnificent Lake Victoria, we’ll be covering between 90 up to 108km per day and cycling through the Equator, Rainforest, Game Park, on Kenyan roads, and up – yes that was up - Mount Kenya. Let’s hope those game park lions aren’t too hungry or they might take a shine to the fat, slow bird straggling at the back of the herd – now there’s an incentive to pedal faster!

It all started in a much more mundane place - at the work tea station in St Anne House, Croydon. I saw a magazine advert, and in a manic moment thought “I can do that”. Before I knew it I’d signed up and paid my registration fee - so there’s no backing out now.

I’m on a count-down of hard-core dieting & exercise [cue karate-kidstyle training montage to the inspiring power ballad of your choice]. This will hopefully simultaneously turn the clock back

on my beer-belly, and turn me into Croydon’s very own answer to Lance Armstrong from more like Jo Brand.

For starters, I’ve been swimming 30 lengths a day. I’m power-walking 4.5 miles daily on top of that, and trying to get to the gym 3 times a week at the moment which will need to increase to 6 times a week from September. I’ve also done a bit of cycling but need to crank it up a few notches over the next few months!

So what possessed this mild mannered (and slightly crazy) civil servant to attempt this wonderwoman-like turn around?

Firstly, the cause is one I really care about. All the Funds raised by Women V Cancer will be divided equally between three important UK charities: Breast Cancer Care, Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust and Ovarian Cancer Action.

The cycle will also raise money for supporting cancer care in Kenya, with £125 for each cyclist going to for a project to help Kenyan people.

The cause is close to home for me: 5 years ago my wife’s sister (therefore my sisterin–law) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was then just 33. Breast Cancer Care helped her through her difficult journey of surgery, radiotherapy & hormone therapy, by providing expert information, as well as skilled emotional and practical support.

Fortunately she is now doing well, and we were all really grateful for the care and 14

understanding that she received.

Here’s the serious bit - She was just one of 46,000 women and men (yes, men) each year who receive the devastating news that they have breast cancer. Breast cancer is now so common that almost everyone will, at some point in their lives, know someone affected: mother, sister, partner or friend.

Cervical and ovarian cancers are also more common than you might think. Each day in the UK 8 women are diagnosed with cancer of the cervix, and 3 will die of it. Jo’s Trust is the only UK charity dedicated to women affected by cervical

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abnormalities and cervical cancer. For ovarian cancer, the UK has one of the lowest survival rates of the developed world with 12 deaths every day. Ovarian Cancer Action is dedicated to improving women’s chances of survival by funding research at their own specialist centre, as well as raising awareness of the disease and giving a voice to women affected by it.

will be mine at the finish line. Oh, and for the proverbial carrot dangling before the cyclists - those that can still walk at the end of the trip get to visit the elephant orphanage at the Nairobi National Park. Who can resist baby elephants?

It’s going to be one hell of a challenge: not only the long process of dieting and training beforehand; or the blisters and saddle-sores,

“Four hundred thousand metres over rough ground & hills in dust & heat & monsoon rain.

Wish me luck... Or better yet, sponsor me!”

The second reason I signed up, was for the discipline – it’s just the kick-up-the-arse deadline I needed to finally lose the excess weight I’ve gained through contented married life and a failed thyroid. If middle age looks like it might catch up with you, run away faster – or in my case, cycle (it’s still way cheaper than a sports car and a face lift!).

And last but not least, the third reason was for the experience. For the endorphin-fuelled elation that sporty-types (like previously mentioned sister-in-law) assure me

aching legs and sunburn; but also the personal challenge of being so far away from my wife and our son who will only be 9 months old when I go.

However, I’m determined to do this & really hope I can raise as much money as possible for these great charities. Four hundred thousand metres on rough ground, over hills, in dust and heat and monsoon rain...wish me luck...or better yet, sponsor me!

I need to have raised minimum sponsorship of £2,800 by the 1st September, (the organiser’s deadline,

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not mine) although the cycle ride itself is 18th-27th of November.

Every penny counts; if everyone who reads this quality mag (run by my other sister-in- law and your favourite bonsai editor) gave a pound then I could easily make the minimum sponsorship, and even exceed it. For the sake of everyone with loved ones affected by breast, ovarian or cervical cancer, please donate - all the money goes towards research, support and care.

Midlife crisis? Maybe.

A challenge? Certainly.

A good cause? Most definitely.

To help me support this great cause, you can sponsor me by texting ACZQ58 and your amount £(1,2,3,4,5 or 10) to 70070 or visit www.justgiving.com/Jo-ForbesGifford P.S. Look out for my trip write-up & photos in a future issue (once my saddle-sores recover enough for me to sit at a computer!).

Jo Forbes-Gifford

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We want the finest wines available to humanity! We want them here and we want them... NOW!

S

o, as you’ll recall, we left you last month in the midst of the first ever Deep London wine-making experiment (if you missed it, read it online at http://doiop.com/deepjune11), where the big old plastic demijohn was about to be put back into the airing cupboard and was starting, surprisingly, to look a bit like wine.

We pick it up again a mere 12 days later when it’s time to release the stuff from the cupboard and add the last two odd sachets, a packet of potassium sorbate and a very strange clear glue-like product called ‘finings’. In something of a retrograde step, all this stuff makes the nascent wine look less like wine again, and more like something you’d clean out of the u-bend after

behind the sediment, then from the second container into the 6 bottles, handily supplied in our original kit.

The supplied plastic corks are manhandled into the bottles and they’re all put, upright, back into the airing cupboard for a further 24 hours to let the corks settle before they can be laid on their side. The kit is supposed to make 6 bottles, but given we’ve drunk some of it, spilled some of it and lost some of it through careless syphoning, we eventually get 5-ish bottles. The instructions say: ‘This wine is very acceptable to drink at bottling time and will continue to improve if

1

And the verdict is. . . That’s alright that is. It tastes like what it is, a young Sav Blanc, and the emergency services are stood down. . . a virulent kidney infection.

At this point we have to leave the wine ‘on a table so that no further movement is required prior to bottling’, which means working around a bloody great plastic bottle on the kitchen worksurface for the next 6 days, but happily, the finings are, erm, fining and lo, by the sixth day it looks exactly how you’d expect wine to look, albeit with the merest hint of sediment at the bottom. The fact that it’s sat in plain view also prompts Petal to, after a few somewhat more traditional drinks, pour out a glass for a premature tasting. Given we were both pretty merry, we thought it tasted ‘winey, but a bit yeasty’.

In the final push, it’s time for more syphoning, with Petal again engaged at the sucking end of the operation. We syphon from one demijohn to the other, leaving 16

allowed to further mature in a consistently cool dark place, oriented on their sides’, of which we only saw the first bit about acceptable to drink, so it’s straight into the fridge with one of the bottles ready for the grand unveiling and inaugural necking.

We’re no experts though (if it’s not 2 for a fiver, it’s too expensive) so to help us out with the tasting, we’ve recruited an expert - local wine buff Sudleigh Balterton, whose credentials include a bow tie, powder blue action slacks and a penchant for Thunderbird, whom we discovered, mid-way through a meticulous tasting session, near the bins at the back entrance of Lidl.

With plastic cork wrestled manfully, and with quite a

2

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satisfying pop, from bottle by Petal, it’s time to give it a go. And the verdict is... That’s alright that is. It tastes like what it’s supposed to - a young Sav Blanc - and the emergency services are stood down from high alert, taking their biohazard equipment with them.

Unfortunately, Sudleigh’s had a long day of tasting already and isn’t making a great deal of sense, so Petal takes half a bottle down to Junk Time Party’s rehearsal where I believe the general consensus was one of mild surprise that no-one dropped dead immediately on tasting it but that again, that’s alright that is.

We can confirm that the instructions are correct, it does get better the longer you leave it, although I suspect they were thinking of somewhat longer than the 6 days it took us to finish the lot.

A succesful first attempt then, and the top tips we’ve garnered are - buy a bottle of Milton sterililising solution as there is a lot of sterilisation of bottles and doodads required and, invest in a automatic syphon, negating the need for someone to suck the liquid up - a bit grim given the unpleasant look of the stuff during some of the stages of fermentation.

Given that our first 6 bottles cost £42 it isn’t particulary cost-effective to start with, but that included all the kit you’ll need, and we’ve just ordered our second kit, a Rioja (which we noticed with some horror has instructions that are slightly more, erm, interpretive than our original idiot-proof ones), for about £12, which works out at about £2 a bottle - still not massively cost effective, but we’re just starting out, and when we’ve got the hang of it, we’ll be investing in 30 bottle kits, which work out at around £1.30 a bottle. And then, who knows, we could end up filling the bath with grapes and getting our shoes off, in which case we’ll have loads of wine for practically nothing. We might even try knocking up some champagne, which looks really quite technical and tricky, but we’ll give it a go at some point I’m sure.

In the meantime though, it’s quite a satisfying experience this wine-making lark. If you’ve got a spare cupboard that’ll fit a demijohn in and can follow pretty simple instructions, we’d recommend you give it a go.

As mentioned, for our next trick we’ll be trying to make our first batch of red wine, and we promise, well, we sort of promise, that when we’ve knocked that up we will try our very best not to neck the lot before all the people who said (mainly with a certain amount of trepidation) that they wanted to try it, actually get to try it...

The Rioja should be ready in about 4 weeks, much like the last lot, so we’ll let you know how we’re getting on and how unpleasant this one looks while it’s doing its thing next month. Until then, cheers all!

All equipment available from www.brewuk.co.uk Pictures: 1) The last stages of fermentation. Yes, there is some missing, because Petal decided to give it an early tasting; 2) A final syphon before bottling; 3) Look at that!

That’s our wine that is! 4) Next!

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3 4

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Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • All Bar One • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Fairfield Halls • George • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Half and Half Lounge Bar • Loop Lounge • Milan Bar • Mojama • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROY: • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROY: • Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos • Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet • Fox and Hounds • Windmill SOUTH END & SOUTH CROY: • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly

Pick up your copy of Deep from any of these lovely places:

• Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Rupali • Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Txt Bar • Treehouse • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi

OLD COULSDON: • The Fox • Tudor Rose

ADDISCOMBE: • Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hs • Cricketers

THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier

PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay (by Purley BR) • Elliott’s • Jolly Farmers • Las Fuentes • Rectory • Purley BR • Purley Pool • Purley Oaks BR • Station Cars PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel • Green’s Gym COULSDON: • The Pembroke

SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant SELHURST: • Selhurst Arms • White Horse • Two Brewers • Lion Inn

WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive SOUTH NORWOOD: • Portmanor KENLEY: • Kenley Arms WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern

Listings Index: What’s on?

19 full weekly and daily guide All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.

Got something going on?

We’re not psychic, people - let us know! What’s on listings are FREE! Call Angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk

Deep-London Readership: 25,046 monthly plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk on facebook (deep-london).

Follow us on Twitter: @deep_london

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK

Last date for inclusion in August issue -

20 JULY 2011 Advertising in Deep-London: Prices from just £10 upwards depending on type, size and placement all prices are per month and VAT exempt

discounts available for block booking etc

Advert design service available To advertise please call Angela the Editor on: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk

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What’s On - Regular Every Day / Monthly Events: Every Day: • Market: Surrey Street (Not Sunday) London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it, people.

Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early...

Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Museum: Museum Of Croydon Monday - Saturday, 11am - 5pm (Closed Sundays and Bank Holidays) Permanent Galleries: Croydon History - Follow the story of Croydon from 1800 to now.

The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramics is on permanent display in the Riesco Gallery at Croydon Clocktower.

The Croydon Art Collection contains over 2000 paintings, prints and drawings.

Depictions of local scenes and landmarks are stored alongside works by Henry Moore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore.

Museum Of Croydon, Clocktower, Katharine Street • Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld We at deep are HUGE fans of Beaver Waterworld, and not just because of the amusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers, lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of other animals. A registered charity, BWW is also a rehoming centre. “Our aim at Beaver Water World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge - a Noah's Ark for rare and rescued reptiles”. Open EVERY Day except Xmas Day - 10am to 5pm.

Adults - £4.00, Children - £3.00 Beaver Water World, Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield, Nr. Westerham Kent. TN16 2JT, Tel: 01959 577747 www.beaverwaterworld.com • Farm: Fanny’s Farm To complement Beaver Waterworld...

Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens, Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigs and sheep, The famous treehouse, Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens, 2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burt and Ernie - and sheep.

Fanny's Farm Shop, is the perfect place to enjoy a cream tea, fresh coffee or a ploughman's lunch featuring local cheeses.

Fanny's features a wide range of local produce to buy, including jam and marmalade, honey, floral arrangements, pickle, mustards, fresh vegetables, bacon and eggs, cakes and handmade gifts.

Opening Hours - 9.00am to 6.00pm every day including bank holidays, although we do stop serving teas at 5.00pm.

Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdge Lane, Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AW

email: fanny@fannysfarmshop.co.uk Tel: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk

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1st Tuesday of the month: • Live Music: Rob and Friends Jamming. From 8.30pm.

The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749 For more events, find us on facebook!

1st Wednesday: • Kids: Iggy and Loong’s Under 5s Until March 2011 (except January) 10.30am, 11.15am & 12pm (30 mins).

Join Iggy the iguana and Loong the Chinese dragon for songs, games and stories in the Riesco Gallery.

Aimed at the Under 5s.

FREE! Just drop in.

Riesco Gallery (ground floor), Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk

1st Thursday: • Live Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

• Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night.

The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Comedy: Upfront Comedy Club Hosting a different line-up of black comedians every month. See Clocktower website for who’s on. “The most enterprising black comedy promoters in the country" The Guardian.

8pm. £9.50 (£7.50 conc) Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. More info from www.croydonclocktower.org.uk

1st Monday: • Music: Folk/Blues Singers & Musicians Night No need to book just come along to sing and play! £3 Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon, CR0 1BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk 020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

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1st Wednesday: • Kids: Under 5’s Event Meet the very soft and cuddly Iggy the iguana and Loong the Chinese dragon puppets for stories and songs Wednesdays 2 February & 2 March at 10.30am, 11.15am & 12pm (30 mins) Free, drop in Venue: Riesco Gallery (ground floor of the Clocktower). FREE entry.

Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon.

1st Friday: • Club: Groove On Funk club.

Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837 www.treehousepeople.com • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1 Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR9 2BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged, £1 unwaged. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956.

1st Saturday: • Music: DJ Rob Delta Playing Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: Retro-Rewind Get your platforms on and dust off those flares as John Lazenby of DISCO79.com and The Arc, transport you back in time playing hours of the best 60s, 70s and 80s music guaranteed to pull you to the dance floor. Concentrating mainly on the 70’s and 80’s disco era with a bit of 60’s soul, R&B, pop and rock, 70’s glam rock, 80’s new romantic and happy songs from Wham and the like to have you jumping to the beat! £5 in advance or £8 on the door.

Strictly over 21s.

Doors open at 8pm and bar closes at Midnight.

Booking line: 01883 330380. More info email info@the-arc-caterham.co.uk or visit www.the-arc-caterham.co.uk The Arc, 39 Weston Drive, Caterham, Surrey, CR3 5XY

1st Sunday: • Green: Heathfield Ecology Centre Normally open from around 10 o'clock until about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever is sooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each

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What’s On - Regular Monthly Events: month except for 1st January or when there is another event. Established in 1997 and operates out of the Old Orchard in the grounds of Heathfield House. The centre raises awareness of Croydon's green heritage and helps to preseve the borough's biodiversity. For full details of activities and membership visit www.heathfield-ecology.org.uk The Old Orchard, Heathfield, Coombe Lane, Croydon CR0 5RH • Music: ‘The Ukelele & Other Machines’ Ukelele Jam A relaxed, informal ukulele play-along session where you are the band! Everyone joins in, playing songs from our own songbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi, Radiohead, The Smiths and everything in between. Bring your own ukulele if you have one but we do have a couple of spares if you want to try it out. Absolutely all abilities welcome, from complete novices to good players. Everyone can play something, we guarantee it!

See “the ukulele & Other Machines” website http://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk for more details and link to all our songs.

Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA. 1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar

2nd Monday: • Group: Croydon Writers Writing group. 7.45pm. New Members welcome.. Annual membership - £16.00 Meetings - £2 per meeting for members, £4 per meeting for non members. More info from www.croydonwriters.org.uk The Library, Croydon Cloctower, Katharine Street, Croydon

2nd Tuesday: • Comedy: Comedy Night with host Gareth and guest comedians.

From 8.30pm.

The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749 For more events, find us on facebook!

• Group: Croydon Round Table of Inventors was established to provide a network and forum for local Croydon inventors to share ideas and experiences. It is a non-profit club, run by inventors and for inventors.

Meetings take place on the second Tuesday of every month in the Town Hall, Katharine Street, Croydon from 6:30pm to 9:30pm. Please check this event is on before heading out.

2nd Thursday: • Live Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

2nd Saturday: • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room, United Reformed Church, Addiscombe Grove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.304.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to read and share. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956

3rd Monday: • Music: Folk/Blues Singers & Musicians Night No need to book just come along to sing and play! £3.

Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, 23 Coombe Road, Croydon, CR0 1BD. www.croydonfolkclub.org.uk 020 8660 5919 or 0770 3210 795

centre raises awareness of Croydon's green heritage and helps to preseve the borough's biodiversity. For full details of activities and membership visit www.heathfield-ecology.org.uk The Old Orchard, Heathfield, Coombe Lane, Croydon CR0 5RH • Music: ‘The Ukelele & Other Machines’ Ukelele Jam A relaxed, informal ukulele play-along session where you are the band! Everyone joins in, playing songs from our own songbook, from 60s classics to Bon Jovi, Radiohead, The Smiths and everything in between. Bring your own ukulele if you have one but we do have a couple of spares if you want to try it out. Absolutely all abilities welcome, from complete novices to good players. Everyone can play something, we guarantee it!

See “the ukulele & Other Machines” website http://ukulele.website.orange.co.uk for more details and link to all our songs.

Green Dragon 58-60 High St, Croydon CR0 1NA 1st and 3rd Sunday of month, 7:30pm to 10-00pm, upstairs bar.

3rd Tuesday:

4th Tuesday:

• History: East Surrey Family History Society Meetings on 3rd Tuesday of the month in the small hall of East Croydon United Reformed Church. Doors Open at 7.30 pm and the meeting starts at 8.00pm. See daily what’s on for details of this month’s talk / event. East Croydon United Reformed Church, Addiscombe Grove, Croydon CR0 5LP

4th Thursday:

3rd Thursday: • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

• Gay: Quiz The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104 www.birdinhand.co.uk.

3rd Sunday: • Group: Heathfield Ecology Centre Normally open from around 10 o'clock until about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever is sooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month except for 1st January or when there is another event. Established in 1997 and operates out of the Old Orchard in the grounds of Heathfield House. The 20

• Live Music: Open Mic Simon Hughes's blues and acoustic Open Mike nights. We let you entertain us! From 8.30pm. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk

• Live Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.

4th Saturday: • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Playing the way only Benny can.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk

Last Monday: • Science: Cafe Scientifique Free talks and discussions with a scientist on a subject of topical interest on the last Monday of each month from 18:30 to 20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) -

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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events:

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www.looplounge.co.uk • Games: Poker Night Poker at the Jolly Farmers.

The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. Free entry before 10pm.

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Group: Croydon Natural History and Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from 19:45 at the Small Hall of the United Reform Church in Addiscombe Grove, East Croydon. For more information about the society go to www.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index. htm#about • Quiz: Rough Trade Shop Pop Quiz - NEW! 8pm-10pm £1 per team member, up to 6 in a team. Picture rounds, name that tune rounds, anagrams, bad puns (good puns?) and brain teasing musical questions from Paul Guided Missile. Prizes include wine, Rough Trade Shop Record Tokens and Cheezy Wotsits for best team name!

The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville Road London, N1 9JB. Tel: 020 7837 5371 www.thelexington.co.uk

Every Monday:

Every Tuesday:

no ticket necessary.

Last Tuesday: • Music: Live Jazz Jazz on the Last Tuesday of Every Month at 8.30 PM. See www.jazznet.co.uk for who’s on.

The Golden Lion, 116 Sydenham Road London SE26 5JX, Tel: 020 8778 6859 Car Parking at rear of Pub www.jazznet.co.uk

Last Thursday: • Quiz: The Croham - NEW! A new quiz night from Wendy’s Wonderful Quiz at The Dragon fame. From 8pm.

Teams of up to 6 and £1.50 entry per person.

The Croham Arms, Croham Road, South Croydon

Last Friday: • Club: Histree House Last Friday of the month. Old-skool house.

Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehouse diners, otherwise £5.

Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837 www.treehousepeople.com

• Quiz: Green Dragon Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz.

8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! £1 in, winning team gets the cash.

Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon • Music: Community Choir 6:30pm, upstairs The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Blue Monday Buy one hour of Pool and receive one hour free of charge. Don’t worry if you are on a one-hour lunch break - we will give you a voucher to use another day. If you are not a member you can join at reception free of charge if you bring some ID along. More about free membership. Half price on all drinks Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm Fridays 5pm to 9pm. Open Midday until 11pm. Admission is free of charge Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required.

Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000

• Music: Jazz Jam Session Every Tuesday Night at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. All welcome.

The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pm Also croydon roller derby are taking on new skaters so anyone who's Interested please contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.com or deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Quiz: The Good Companions Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz travels to Hamsey Green every Tuesday from 8pm.

The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, Croydon.

• Quiz: The Pembroke 8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for 1 on pizzas.

The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Quiz: The Builders Arms Fun general knowledge quiz.

The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road, Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803 • Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays 21

DJ Magoo plays the most ripe Electro, DnB, Dubstep, Indie and Ska while you enjoy £1.50 PINTS, £1.25 SPIRIT MIXERS, £1 SHOTS + £2.50 VODKA RED BULL ALL NIGHT. Doors 7pm til late, FREE ENTRY before 9pm.

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com • Music: Freedom of Expression presents the best in acoustic music, comedy, poetry and magic - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when.

From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome.

140 Brighton Road, Purley.

0208 763 2629 • Dance: Strictly Fun Dancing Ballroom Dancing every Tuesday.

Beginners - 7pm. £6 Improvers - 7.45pm. £6 Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7 Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16.

Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions South Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm.

The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

Every Wednesday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays Permanent Galleries: Local History The development of our area from earliest times. It contains sections on Geology and fossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages, the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxon corner, medieval times and modern history.

Also stages various transient exhibitions.

Admission is free but donations are welcomed.

East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Quiz: Mike K’s General Knowledge Quiz From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz, non-members welcome!

Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road, Caterham CR36QB • Quiz: Foxley Hatch Every Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry per

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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events: person - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on a team. The Foxley Hatch, Purley • Event: Talent Night Talent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday. £200 prize!

The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 Godstone Road, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EE www.whyteleafetavern.com • Pool: American 8-Ball Pool Competition Test your pool skills against Croydon’s finest pool players as we launch a new weekly cash prize competition that will also see players gaining ranking points to become Croydon’s number 1 pool player.

10 Week Ranking League Cash Prizes - £10 Entry Fee Weekly knock out competition • Winner receives 75% of entry pot (remaining 25% to go towards ranking league) • Best of 3 frames • Semi final and final best of 5 frames 10 Week Ranking League • Points given for progress in weekly knock out competition.

• Winner receives 75% of total pot • Runner up receives 25% of total pot Half price drinks 5-7pm Midday until midnight.

Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted.

Over 18s only - ID required.

Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Poker: King Of Clubs Loop Lounge Poker Night: It's the standard Texas Hold’em format that we all know and love. This night is open to all Loop Lounge members. To register an interest and book a place at our tables please visit our website. Open Midday until midnight Half price on all drinks: Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm, Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm. FREE entry.

Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted.

Over 18s only - ID required.

Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Dance: Dancercise Keep fit and meet new people at this fun and friendly beginners dance class. Come and join the fun every Wednesday.

7.30pm. £3.50.

Central Court, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5.

The Green Dragon,

58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Dub Kulture heavy vinyl dubstep collective, featuring controller PISTONSBENEATH and guest DJS. Doors 8pm til late, FREE ENTRY before 10pm, £2 after.

CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-11pm. £1.50 pints, £1.25 spirit mixers, £1 shots, £2.50 vodka Red Bull.

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Event: Film & Food plus...

Films & Food every week, Poker, Rock Quiz night and Live comedy on monthly rotation See www.myspace.com/screamstudios or daily listings for what's on and when 8pm, Free Entry Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Music: FREE Classical Concerts Free lunchtime classical music performances at the Clocktower Croydon.

All performances start at 1.30pm. Bring your own picnic, wear a tux if you like, or just come as you are and enjoy your lunch in the incredible unique setting of the Braithwaite Hall at The Clocktower, a grade 2 listed building, island of heritage in Croydon’s town centre. George Mayne will present a specially curated free programme of some his favourite classical pieces every Wednesday lunchtime throughout August.

The Clocktower Cafe is launching a special offer to celebrate these lunchtime recitals with 20% off all hot meals and a special High Tea consisting of mini sandwiches, tea, scome and clotted cream for £3.95 after the concert.

Braithwaite Hall, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Wednesday afternoon - Greyhound Racing. Doors 1pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Music: Liquid Drum ‘n’ Bass Every Wednesday evening.

Taberners Lounge Bar, St George’s Walk, Croydon. www.tabernersloungebar.com • Social: Croydon D&S Social Club NEW! ARE YOU DIVORCED - SEPARATED - or WIDOWED ? ARE YOU LONELY Stuck indoors with nowhere to go?

THEN THIS IS THE CLUB FOR YOU!!!

Why not come along and give it a try Plenty of Car parking spaces DISCO, DANCING and VARIOUS EVENTS during the year - Car rally, Darts 22

Tournament, Saturday Dances, Days out, Weekends away, Outings to Warners, Yarmouth, Isle of Wight, etc. etc Whatever your age, we all get lonely Why not meet new people, make new friends and enjoy yourselves.

Bring your own alcohol No admittance after 10.00pm Smart Jeans - NO TRAINERS Membership £10 per year Wednesday Admission £3.00 Every Wednesday evening. 8-11pm.

St Mary's Church hall, Wellesley Road Croydon opposite Station Road Near West Croydon Bus/Tram/Train Station. www.croydon-ds.co.uk • Gay: Darts & Free Pool From 7pm. All welcome.

The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com

Every Thursday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. See every Wednesday.

East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Tattoos: Walk-In Day No need to book in advance on a Thursday only at Sims, get there early!

11am-6pm.

Sims Tattoos, 69 Windmill Road, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967 • Quiz: Two Brewers From 9pm.

Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: Purley Arms Every Thursday.

Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz £1 per player, win prizes, league points, and maybe cash in our Open The Box game! New teams always welcome.

The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre From 9pm.

Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Club: ALT.X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night!

FREE ENTRY before 10pm, doors 7pm..

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Live Jazz

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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events: Check monthly regular events for who’s playing when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear.

Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm.

FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk • Club: Playhouse House music now has a home A new weekly night takes form in the guise of PlayHouse. Bringing in fresh talent and fresh sounds this is the official start to every weekend. Playhouse drinks promotions all night. 9.30pm until 2.30am Entry £5 or guest list £3 For guest list email full names and date in advance to thursdays@looplounge.co.uk R.O.A.R. Smart/Casual Dress. Strictly Over 18 years of age only; photo ID is required Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Gay: Quiz New every Thursday, quiz night at The Bird. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Thursday night - Greyhound Racing.

Doors 6.30pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Club: Liquid Thursdays

Any drink, all day £2! (large £1 extra) Music policy: Live DJ mixing Liquid Drum & Base from DJ Phyco. Come and try some of our complimentary tasty Nachos (while stcoks last).

Taberners Lounge Bar, St George’s Walk, Croydon. www.tabernersloungebar.com • Burlesque / Cabaret: Tassel Club Our Thursday Show - £28 summer supper & show. £15 show only - fully seated, candle lit cabaret. Doors from 7.30pm.

Contact info@thetasselclub.com or call 07981 909 177 for direct bookings for any Thursday night show.

The Bath House, 8 Bishopsgate Churchyard, City of London, EC2M 3TJ • Music: Lunchtime Jazz - NEW! Jazz Every Thursday Lunchtime.

Starts 12.15 - 2.00 pm Admission FREE! The Clocktower Cafe, Katherine Street, Croydon, Surrey CR9 1ET

Every Friday: • Music: DJs Every Friday Night The Folly, 13-15 Selsdon Road, Croydon, 020 8688 3920 • Music: Live Music Alternating live bands and karaoke every Friday Night The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8.30pm every Friday night.

Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Music: Oval DJs The regular Oval faves, plus guests, keeping Fridays funky.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Music Every Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1 on Corona and Jacques.

The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Event: Wii Night Every Friday evening.

The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.

• Club: WTF? our decades of Indie, Alternative, Electro and Punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin.

CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm.

Doors 7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm.

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Photography: Camera Club 23

Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc.

Ample parking.

Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk • Karaoke: Karaoke Madness NEW! (In the bar from 9pm) + Fresh Fridays @ The Edge Nightclub with guest club DJs playing club anthems till 3am *FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm* The Norbury & Edge 1300 London Road Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG • Club: Fresh Fridays - NEW! @ The Edge Nightclub with guest club DJs playing club anthems till 3am *FREE PUB 2 CLUB ADM B4 10pm* The Norbury & Edge 1300 London Road Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG • Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing.

First race 7.30pm The turnstiles open at 6:30pm and the restaurant doors open at 6:30pm.

General Admission Prices If you just want to turn up on the night the prices are: * Adults: £5.00 (including racecard) * Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card) * Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies are not permitted in the Stadium.

Loads of admission offers and more info at www.lovethedogs.co.uk GRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane, London, SW17 0BL Stadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000 • Club: Blow Techno, Electronic, Drum ‘n’ Bass, Dubstep, House, Mash Up across 3 rooms.

Every Friday 10pm til super-late. £8 adv, £10 on the door.

Egg, 200 York Way, King’s Cross, London N1 • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - Greyhound Racing. Doors 10.30am. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk

Every Saturday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays See every Wednesday.

East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Music: Various Live music every Saturday Night.

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What’s On - Weekly Events / Daily Guide: The Surrey Cricketers, corner of Lower Coombe Street and West Street, Croydon.

• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to create a vibrant bustling market place in the large private courtyard of The Alma pub in Crystal Palace. It runs every Saturday with over 20 stalls selling plants & flowers, beauty products & treatments, exotic oils, olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates, jewellery, hand made cards, rugs, leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & a wide range of arts & crafts from local artists, plus hot food and collectables - and the Jerk Chicken man will be there!

10am - 4pm The Alma, 95 Church Road, Crystal Palace, London SE19 www.thealmapub.com • Music: Live Rock Bands Every Saturday Night Portmanor, Portland Road, South Norwood, SE25 4UF, 020 8655 1308 • Club: Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor.

CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm.

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM Des Paul and Chris Brooks playing out the best in commercial party and dance anthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and 80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House.

Admission free before 10pm, £7 after.

Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dress code: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear.

Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertigercroydon.co.uk • Music: The Big Double - NEW! featuring top live acts + The Edge nightclub playing club classics & party anthems till 4am. ADVANCED TICKETS £5 OR PAY ON THE DOOR The Norbury & Edge 1300 London Road Norbury Croydon SW16 4DG • Music: New Orleans Jazz Quality live jazz every Saturday Night.

From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle.

Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street, Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old Rutland Pub) • Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights.

The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon. 020 8657 6655 • Gay: Party Night Every Saturday nigt is party night at The

Bird. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club.

Contact reservations@proud.co.uk for direct bookings Proud Cabaret, London. www.proud.co.uk • Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing.

First race 7.30pm The turnstiles open at 6:30pm and the restaurant doors open at 6:30pm.

General Admission Prices If you just want to turn up on the night the prices are: * Adults: £5.00 (including racecard) * Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card) * Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies are not permitted in the Stadium.

Loads of admission offers and more info at www.lovethedogs.co.uk GRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane, London, SW17 0BL Stadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000 • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Saturday night - Greyhound Racing.

Doors 6.30pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Kids: Storytime with Jenny Lockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lots of fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but all are welcome!

It's every Saturday and it's FREE! 1pm-3pm.

Upstairs at the Green Dragon 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays 2.30-3.30pm.

The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

Every Sunday: • Music: New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm.

See daily what’s on for who’s playing this 24

month. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday.

Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry!

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Quiz: The View Every Sunday evening.

The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315.

• Quiz: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.

Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as main prize. £1 per person. From 7pm.

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St, Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134 • Karaoke: The White Horse Every Sunday Night from 7pm.

The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road, Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948 • Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. With one of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac, Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve Bright The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm.

The Alma Tavern, Lower Addiscombe Road, Addiscombe, East Croydon • Music: Acoustic Sundays From classical to folk, poetry to unplugged punk rock, Scream Lounge's acoustic nights guarantee you a night to remember.

Most evenings are free entry, don't run late, so you won't ruin your week with a Monday hangover! 7pm start. See www.myspace.com/screamstudios or daily listings for what's on and when.

Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, why not come down for a delicious roast dinner straight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens (not compulsory for entry but highly recommended!) and enjoy a couple of sets of laid back music from some of London’s

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What’s On - Daily Guide: best musicians and singers.

Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street, London W1D 4HT Box Office: 020 7439 0747 www.ronniescotts.co.uk • Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pm Also croydon roller derby are taking on new skaters so anyone who's Interested please contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.com or deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Gay: Open The Box Every Sunday at 7pm.

The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - Greyhound Racing. Doors 11am. More info from brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium. co.uk • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions Purley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm.

The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council

.............................

Fri 08 • Sport: British Grand Prix Formula One from Silverstone, 8-10 July Practice one - 1000-1130; Practice two: 1300-1430 • Sport: Surrey v Hampshire Friends Provident T20 Cricket. 6.30pm.

The Kia Oval, Kennington, London.

More info and tickets from www.kiaoval.com • Music: Friday Night Showcase A regular night showcasing the best local bands of all genres, with some surprise touring acts, FREE OF CHARGE this week... The Fix, Alt Track, JSA plus guests tbc. (Indie/Rock/Electronica) Doors 8pm. FREE ENTRY Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Sat 09 • Sport: British Grand Prix Formula One from Silverstone, 8-10 July Practice three - 1000-1100; Qualifying: 1300-1400

• Sport: England v Sri Lanka NatWest One Day International Cricket.

10.45am. Old Trafford.

• Sport: FIFA Women’s World Cup Football Quarter Finals 1 & 2. ESPN TV • Festival: Croydon Folk and Blues Summer Festival Live folk and blues in the garden. Bouncy castle, Scottish pipers, side stalls, BBQ, licensed bars with real ales.

12 noon - 11pm. £3 - accompanied children free. Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.folkandblues.org • Music: All-ages night with Esmeralda, The Perfect Accident (Rock/Alt). 14+, ID required for the bar £5 Entry. Doors 7pm, ends 10pm Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Brightwhite Live music. From 8pm.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Dr Smutglove’s Retro Pop Punk Covers Night Great night of retro covers: Buggles, The Stranglers, Queen, The Vapors, Blondie, The Ramones, Jilted John, Sex Pistols, The Clash, Boomtown Rats. (Just 28 mins on train from East Croydon to this blinkin lovely boozer excellente beer and friendly people). 9pm - 11.30pm The Gatwick Arms - Horley 42 High Street Horley Surrey RH6 7BB • Music: Floyd In The Park Just Floyd will be performing all of Pink Floyd’s classics in a two hour set that includes The Dark Side Of The Moon, Wish You Were Here, The Wall, Animals and many more. With a full light show with project animation and lasers, this memorable show will bring back the magic of Pink Floyd.

BROMLEY AMPITHEATRE, Church House Gardens just behind the Churchill Theatre Bromley.

Tickets for all shows are available by calling Ticket Sales on 08448 717 620 (bkg fee) or online at www.ambassadortickets.com/bromley (bkg fee) • Food: Shoreham Chilli Festival Two days of chilli themed fun. More info from: www.chillifest.net Coronation Green, High Street, Shoreham by Sea, BN43 5EE

25

• Music: ALCOPOPALOOZA III (We're All In The Gutter But Some Of Us Are Looking Up At Roof Dog) DOORS: 3pm-2am ADM: £7adv (inc BBQ at 5pm) AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Live acts: Johnny Foreigner + My First Tooth + LightGuides + Jumping Ships + Ute + Delta/Alaska + Shoes & Socks Off (acoustic) + Hymns (acoustic) + Katie Malco (acoustic) + Dexy (acoustic) DJs: 405 DJs feat Will Champ and Dave "Clementine" Clare Genre: indie BUY ONLINE: http://www.wegottickets.com/event/1200 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

Sun 10 • Music: VASILIS XENOPOULOS(Sax) With NIGEL PRICE ORGAN TRIO Award winning musicians.

Live lunchtime jazz every Sunday from 1pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Walk: Betchworth to Reigate along the North Downs a six mile walk led by Paul Sowan, following the chalk escarpment, passing the former Buckland Limeworks, and Colley Hill Hearthstone mines. There are no easy escape routes or refreshments.

Meet at Betchworth Station at 14.00 and finish at Reigate Station.

Croydon Natural History & Scientific Society. For more information search for us on facebook or e-mail: cnhssprogramme@btinternet.com • Food: Shoreham Chilli Festival Two days of chilli themed fun. More info from: www.chillifest.net Coronation Green, High Street, Shoreham by Sea, BN43 5EE • Music: THE EFFORT PRESENTS: A PUZZLE DOORS: 5pm ADM: £5 (inc BBQ at 5pm) AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Live music acts: Chapter 24 + EFFORT + Not Made In China + John Fairhurst + Milkwood Other acts: Jon Rowe (spoof trailer screening) + Andy Spragg (spoken word) + Abel Kohen (animation tricks) + Cally Trench (disturbing board games)

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What’s On - Daily Guide: Genre: alternative Tickets: on the door 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

• Film: The Spread Eagle Film Club Come and join us every Tuesday!

Today’s films: Breakfast at Tiffany's @ 3pm Pump Up The Volume @ 8pm FREE ENTRY!

Mon 11 • History: Ice wells fit for a Metropolis INDUSTRIAL STUDIES TALK - “Ice wells fit for a Metropolis.” A talk by Malcolm Tucker, an Engineering Historian. Meetings are held in the Small Hall of the United Reformed Church Hall, Addiscombe Grove, East Croydon CR0 5LP at 19.45. Visitors welcome, donations accepted.

Croydon Natural History & Scientific Society. For more information search for us on facebook or e-mail: cnhssprogramme@btinternet.com • Music: La Moutons Noir Présente Le Soap Company DJ's Exotic Sounds, Altered Grooves & Alien Beats. Visuals / Films to be decided on the night... All kindsa stuff being played...

IDM / Funk / Disco / J-Pop / Chanson / Ambient / Cinematic / Indie Wonk / Dub / Fried / DreamPop / Exotica / Daddy-O / Prog / Rope-A-Dope ...Hip-Hop / Chiptune / DNB / Post Punk / Spliffbeats / Afrobeat / Acid New Wave / Art Rock / Laurel Canyon / Tribal / House / Psych / Ze / Varney Skiddly-DooBop / Studio 54 / White Socks / Little Fellers / DFA / LSD Check our mixes to get a taste & http://mixcloud.com/thesoa Free Entry before 10 - £2 after 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 8pm til midnight Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com

Tue 12 • Sport: Brighton Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf.

Direct train from East Croydon. FREE bus from Brighton station to the course.

More info and tickets from www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Freedom Of Expression 'the very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield' presents: EDINBURGH PREVIEW: MJ Hibbett (and Steve) + ruM. 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA

younger audiences, and making its first appearance at the Open Air Theatre since 1939, Pericles is re-imagined for everyone aged six and over.

For more info on the theatre, what you can take, picnic-wise, prices and times etc please visit: www.openairtheatre.org Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park, London.

Wed 13

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX Tel: 020 8781 1134 • Comedy: Comedy Standard Live comedy with: Tom Toal + James Gill + The Man in the Bowler Hat + Giacinto Palmieri + Samantha Hannah + Carl Wickham + Sophie Buijsen + Ellie Taylor + MIKE SHEER. It'll be fan-bloody-tastic and other arcane uses of tmesis.

8:30pm - 10:30pm. FREE! Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon • Quiz: Dog and Bull From 8pm-11pm.

The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Music: Guns 'n' Roses Live in Tokyo on the Big Screen.

The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Theatre: The Beggar’s Opera Until July 23. Deep in London’s underworld, this comedy of highwaymen, hangmen and harlots is an uncompromising exposure of moral and financial corruption. The 2nd play in the annual Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre season. For more info on the theatre, what you can take, picnic-wise, prices and times etc please visit: www.openairtheatre.org Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park, London.

• Theatre: Pericles Until July 23. re-imagined for everyone aged six and over. By William Shakespeare The young prince, Pericles, takes to the high seas on a quest to discover the world.

An odyssey adventure of shipwrecks and of love lost and found, this is a journey into adulthood and a celebration of family to enjoy together. Continuing the successful series of Shakespeare plays for 26

• Sport: Lingfield Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf.

Direct train from East Croydon.

More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Comedy: Free Live Comedy Night Our monthly comedy nights continue with a line-up of top touring UK comics.

Doors 8pm £FREE Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Zigaboo Modeliste Legendary Meters drummer in his only UK show this year. Part of STAND! See article, this issue. £17.50 Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk www.standatfairfield.co.uk • Music: SOMETHING BORROWED MIDWEEK MUSIC CLUB SOMETHING BORROWED 9.30 Great Covers Duo The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: The Shocks Live music. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Thu 14 • Sport: Surrey v Kent Friends Life T20 Cricket. 6.30pm.

The Kia Oval, Kennington, London.

More info and tickets from www.kiaoval.com • Sport: The Open Golf from Royal St George's in Sandwich.

14-17th July. BBC TV. • Sport / Music: Epsom Races Flat Evening Horse racing - turf. Epsom Live! with Scouting For Girls.Direct trains from East Croydon. More info & tickets from www.epsomderby.co.uk • Theatre: The Black Veil Until 16th July. A chilling thriller based on a story by Charles Dickens. For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: Jackson Michael Jackson tribute. For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Fri 15 • Sport: Sussex v Surrey Friends Life T20 Cricket. 7.10pm.

Hove. More info and tickets from www.kiaoval.com • Music: Another BLEED TO THIS presentation...

Our eighth promo night at the Scream Lounge is going to get HEAVY!!! We're looking to bring the place down with the best rock and metal around!!

Confirmed on the night are Dorset sleaze rockers DESERT ROSE, the heavy-hardcore sound of CLARITY, and straight-up old school riffs of the awesome HELLBENT & HAMMERED!!!

Keep an ear out between sets for tunes and demos from local / unsigned bands.

B2T are using these nights to not only bring you the best metal out there but give the local scene a shout too.

If you're a band and want to get involved - send tracks to bleedtothis@hotmail.com Doors open at 8pm and it'll cost you a measly £4 to get in.

Lineup as follows: 8.30pm - DESERT ROSE 9.15pm - CLARITY 10.00pm - HELLBENT & HAMMERED Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/hellbenthammered www.myspace.com/ youarenolongerwelcomehere www.myspace.com/desertrosedr www.uk.myspace.com/bleedtothis • Music: Friday Night Showcase A regular night showcasing the best local bands of all genres, with some surprise touring acts, FREE OF CHARGE this week... The 9s, Polaris Condition, Olivia Sebastianelli, St Spirit (/Rock/Indie/Alt) Doors 8pm FREE ENTRY Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: B’MUSED 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: DJs Scott and Stiv The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

• Music: DJ BennyManyHats Playing indie, new wave, garage, ska and reggae. From 8pm. Free!

The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Quadrilles’ Summer Sizzler DOORS: 8pm-2am ADM: £3 if dressed up; £4 if not AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Dress code: Magnum, Hawaii, Holiday Rep. Live acts: Adults, The Elderly & Children + Quadrilles + Olympians + Delta Sleep Genre: math rock/math pop TICKETS: on the door 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Music: Popchoir 200 popchoir members bring you an evening of joyous and uplifting contemporary music. For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 16 • Sport / Music: Lingfield Races Evening Flat horse racing - turf followed

by Take That 2.

Direct train from East Croydon.

More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Boppin Bs, The Devial Wrays, The Moonshine Stalkers, The Schizophonics Rocket To Croydonia Presents Psychobilly/Rockabilly.

UPSTAIRS Doors 8pm £4 Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Tenek, AlterRed (Live Electro/Alternative/Synthpop bands) Doors 8pm. £5 Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: English Rogues Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: HARRY SATCHER BAND Rock and roll at its best . 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk 27

• Music: DJ Night The best in rock, metal and alternative open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Film: Water For Elephants (cert 12A). For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: DJ Rob Delta Playing psychedelia, soul and funk.

From 8pm. Free!

The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Event: THE 37TH LAMBETH COUNTRY SHOW 11am to 7pm, The free standout urban festival will be celebrating all that's best about the countryside.

Entertainment over the weekend will include sheep dog displays, jousting, flower and vegetable competitions, along with great cultural offerings and traditional fare amidst the beautiful backdrop of the City skyline from Brockwell Park.

For more information about the festival go to the: www.lambeth.gov.uk/CountryShow/index.htm Brockwell Park London, SE24 0NG.

Sun 17 • CHARITY: BBQ & Band Night In aid of Cancer Research. BBQ from 4pm - £10pp - huge portions - followed by live rock covers from KoK. Except they won’t be called Kok as it’s being broadcast on the radio, and everybody knows you can’t say Kok on the radio... Fab, fun band - a good time guaranteed for a great cause.

The Glamorgan, Cherry Orchard Road (junction of Cross Road), East Croydon • Music: ALEX GARNETT QUARTET One of the top Sax players Live lunchtime jazz every Sunday from 1pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Music: The Little Devils Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Amy Grant For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Walk: Dollypers Hill open day A walk around Dollypers Hill nature reserve for butterflies (if sunny) and wild flowers (if not).

Meet at the junction of Caterham Drive and Austin Close, Coulsdon at 14.00.

A joint meeting with Surrey Wildlife Trust, leader Malcolm Jennings..

Croydon Natural History & Scientific Society. For more information search for us on facebook or e-mail: cnhssprogramme@btinternet.com • Music: Singers Night Floor singers and musicians welcome. £2.

Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.folkandblues.org • Event: THE 37TH LAMBETH COUNTRY SHOW 11am to 7pm, The free standout urban festival will be celebrating all that's best about the countryside.

Entertainment over the weekend will include sheep dog displays, jousting, flower and vegetable competitions, along with great cultural offerings and traditional fare amidst the beautiful backdrop of the City skyline from Brockwell Park.

For more information about the festival go to the: www.lambeth.gov.uk/CountryShow/index.htm Brockwell Park London, SE24 0NG.

Tue 19 • Music: Freedom Of Expression 'the very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield' presents: Roshi Nasehi + Fit and the Conniptions.

8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA • Quiz: Dog and Bull From 8pm-11pm.

The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers Live on the Big Screen The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: Phillip Dyson Lunchtime Concert World Class pianist and entertainer.

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Film: The Spread Eagle Film Club Come and join us every Tuesday!

Today’s film: Deep End @ 8pm FREE ENTRY!

Mon 18 • Sport / Music: Windsor Races Flat Evening Horse racing - turf. Ronnie Scott’s Night.

Direct Train from Clapham Junction. River taxi to the course.

More info & tickets from www.windsor-racecourse.co.uk • Event: Royal Swan Upping 18-22nd July. The Royal Swan Uppers travel along the Thames wearing the scarlet uniform of Her Majesty The Queen in traditional rowing skiffs together with Swan Uppers from the Vintners’ and Dyers’ livery companies, for the annual mute swan count. More info: www.royalswan.co.uk • Film: Jailhouse Rock Classic Elvis. 2.30pm.

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX Tel: 020 8781 1134

Wed 20 • Music: RON TRUEMAN BORDER MIDWEEK MUSIC CLUB RON TRUEMAN BORDER superb singer/songwriter 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Sport / Music: Sandown Races Racing and music night with THE SCISSOR SISTERS. Flat evening horse racing (first race 6pm) followed by the band (9pm-ish). Direct Train from Clapham Junction to Esher station. Free minibus shuttle from the station to the course.

28

Prices from £33 for adults. For more details please visit www.sandown.co.uk • Theatre: Rosie Thorn-Butter Would Not Melt Edinburgh Festival warm up with the onewoman comedy/thriller theatre show DOWNSTAIRS. Doors 7.30pm. £6 Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: ECA Live music. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Film: The Young Victoria (cert PG).

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Film: The King’s Speech (cert 12A).

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Thu 21 • Sport: England v India Test Cricket. 1st Test, 21-25 July.

Lords. 11am.

• Sport / Music: Epsom Races Flat Evening Horse racing - turf. Epsom Live! with The Wanted.

Direct trains from East Croydon. More info & tickets from www.epsomderby.co.uk • Sport: Sandown Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf.

Direct Train from Clapham Junction to Esher station. Free minibus shuttle from the station to the course.

For more details please visit www.sandown.co.uk • Music: Skatroniks Jamaica Ska / funk / dub supergroup. See article, this issue. Part of STAND! £15 Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk www.standatfairfield.co.uk • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Al Stick and Steve Hall AL STICK -"Dry ingenious gags set him apart as one to watch." - chortle.co.uk STEVE HALL - A show about achieving things. If I can be bothered to write it. We Are Klang man and Russell Howard's tour support; Adecco Alfred Marks, Borehamwood Branch, June 1997 'Temp of the Month' Nominee. "The most intelligent stand-up you've never heard of" (GQ). "His phrasing is joyous and choice of words close to poetic" (Metro) "Wonderfully misanthropic" (Sunday

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What’s On - Daily Guide: Times) "Deadpan brilliance" (Time Out) "A lovely, friendly, thoroughly entertaining show" (Chortle) For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Film: Slumdog Millionaire (cert 15).

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Fri 22 • Sport: German Grand Prix Formula One from Nurburgring, 22-24 July Practice one - 0900-1030; Practice two - 1300-1430 • Music: Damo Suzuki + The Carbonators, The Fish Police, Big White Light Theatre & Chaboba Pop Up Bubble Tea Bar Club Soda - Arts events produced by people with learning disabilities - presents: For over three decades Damo Suzuki has been on a never-ending world tour, a tour where no two shows are ever the same and no song is ever repeated, each performance is totally improvised, totally unique and always totally captivating.

Damo came to fame as lead singer of Krautrock legends CAN and has long since become firmly established as a central tenant of counter-culture’s folklore – see The Fall’s tribute “I Am Damo Suzuki”.

Backed by a ever-changing cast of musicians (or in his words ‘Sound Carriers’) Damo improvises lead vocals over whatever music is supplied by the band.

He has played with literally countless musicians over the years but we are pretty certain none will compare to the motley crew of mavericks, renegades and musical ne’re-do-wells assembled to headline this unique Club Soda.

Calling themselves The Carbonators, the band are made up from members of Club Soda, a sprinkling of local music royalty and some guy off the street. The Carbonators are the best band you’ve never heard of and after this night will never see them again. But as with all Club Soda events, it’s not just what’s on stage that will blow your tiny mind, for the first time, the club will be held in the iconic setting of Norwood Junction’s Stanley Halls, a wild and mysterious building full of faded grandeur and the decadent opulence of another time. The entire building will be taken over with a heady mix of live music,

walkabout theatre and non-stop dancing with drinks from the world’s first ‘Bubble Tea Cocktail Bar’.

Damo Suzuki and The Carbonators will be joined on the bill by The Fish Police, www.thefishpolice.com Big White Light Theatre will perform walkabout theatre as they preview larger than life characters from their new outdoor show coming this autumn. www.bigwhitelighttheatre.co.uk Chaboba are making bubble tea fashionable in London. This will be the world’s first Pop-Up Bubble Tea Cocktail Bar! www.chaboba.co.uk 7-11pm. Tickets: £7 on door only Stanley Halls, 12 South Norwood Hill, London, SE25 • Music: THE MONIKERS 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: DJ Night The best in rock, metal and alternative open til 2am. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Catie Wilkins and Richard Herring CATIE WILKINS - "Very funny" Jimmy Carr "An excellent comedy performer" DAVE "Wonderfully funny… Deliciously sick" Chortle One of DAVE's Top 10 Comedians to Catch 2011 RICHARD HERRING - "Stimulating and exhilarating….Utterly hilarious" ***** Chortle For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: The Coolers A blend of ace, old-school 2-tone/ska covers with some originals thrown in for good measure. Support TBC Doors 8pm. £FREE Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Film: Inception (cert 12A).

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Theatre / Music: The Twist An electrifying show bringing you the greatest musical stars of the 50s and 60s.

For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk 29

Sat 23 • Sport / Music: Lingfield Races Evening Flat horse racing - turf followed

by Simon Webbe.

Direct train from East Croydon.

More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Sport: German Grand Prix Formula One from Nurburgring, 22-24 July Practice three - 1000-1100; Qualifying - 1300-1400 • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Jigsaw and Jen Brister JEN BRISTER - BBC New Comedy Award semi-finalist, Jen recently enjoyed great reviews for the Edinburgh Fringe show, 'Reception' which she co-wrote and performed with her comedy partner Clare Warde. The Sunday Times applauded its "Bold sketches, surreal ideas and slick banter…keep an eye out" JIGSAW - DAN ANTOPOLSKI (Triple Perrier Nominee, Dave Award Winner 2009, "Hilarious, imaginative and wonderfully cheap." Independent) joins forces with TOM CRAINE(Times Top Five 2010, "Wise, funny and lyrical" Observer) and NATat LUURTSEMA (Chortle Newcomer Nominee 2008, "Disgustingly talented" Guardian) to culture an hour of smart, stupid sketches for your entertainment.

For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: DJ Night The best in rock, metal and alternative open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: London, 16 Guns, Who Shot Who? Punk. UPSTAIRS. Doors 8pm. £6 Advance Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Camel Toe, Lost Gravity The classic grunge rock covers band play a FREE headline set. Support TBC. DOWNSTAIRS. Doors 8pm. £Free Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: CROWSFEET 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: HILLBILLY HOP! ROCKABILLY RODEO SHOW Roll up! Roll up! The Rockabilly Rodeo is coming to town, real vintage rockabilly live on stage, with the superb Bonneville Barons, Rhythm River Trio, Lynette Morgan & Special Hopstars. 50s vinyl on decks and a mechanical rodeo bull, top pro model; the best there is. Ride the wild bull for fun, to impress & to win prizes. This is the place to be for the wildest rockabilly show in town. Also vintage stalls, wooden dancefloor, pub prices & promos at the bar & a tattoo faced boy at reception!

LIVE ON STAGE: The mighty BONNEVILLE BARONS (Hot string duo), RHYTHM RIVER TRIO, raw early rockabilly; great new band and ready to cut loose. Guests including the amazing LYNETTE MORGAN, one of the best female voices in the UK rockabilly scene, come and be amazed. VINYL DJS rockin' the dancefloor until 3.30am: Greaser Leo with guests: Big Mike, Billy Fadden & guests. MUSIC POLICY: The best in early raw rockabilly; 1950s & early 60s boppers, strollers & jivers; but mostly 50s rockabilly.

8pm - 3.30am. TICKETS (Age: 18+): Limited advance tickets only £8.50: Buy now: www.wegottickets.com/event/125091 or £10 on the door, early arrival recommended The Rocket, 166 - 220 Holloway Rd, London N7 8DP Nearest tube: Holloway Road • Film: The Social Network For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Film: The Black Swan For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: John Blek & The Rats (Ireland) + Texas Tea (Australia) + Killing Fields of Ontario DOORS: 8pm ADM: £4 AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Genre: Americana/indie BUY ONLINE: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

Sun 24 • Sport: German Grand Prix Formula One from Nurburgring, 22-24 July Race - 1300 • Music: GEOFF MASON (Trom) QUINTET with KELVIN CHRISTIANE (Sax) Do not miss this exciting band "KC Jazz" Live lunchtime jazz every Sunday from 1pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Music: Tom Rodwell and Stonehouse Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Singers Night Floor singers and musicians welcome. £2.

Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.folkandblues.org • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Gareth Richards and Andy Zaltzman GARETH RICHARDS - will be performing his "exceptionally inspired and truly memorable stand-up" (Chortle), between some funny, poignant and genre-defying songs.

ANDY ZALTZMAN - A deserved festival staple... Andy Zaltzman brings forth another mighty barrage of stand ups delivering their best political comedy. For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: Irma Thomas + Soul Rebels Brass Band A special concert celebrating that most musical of American cities, New Orleans.

Grammy-winning Irma Thomas - whose hits include Time Is On My Side, You Can Have My Husband But (Please Don't Mess With My Man) and Breakaway - makes a rare UK appearance with her heady mix of soul and rhythm & blues. Support comes from storming New Orleans brass outfit Soul Rebels. Tickets: £15 – £25 To book please visit: www.barbican.org.uk or call Box Office: 020 7638 8891 Barbican Centre, Silk Street London EC2Y 8DS. • Music: Local Girls AGM - all-dayer DOORS: 2pm ADM: £6 (inc BBQ) AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Live acts: Wet Paint + London Dirthole 30

Company + The Brownies + Local Girls + The Quays + Something Beginning With L + Dr Vampire + Dingus Khan + Fear Of The Forest Genre: alternative Djs: Charlotte Hatherley & Ian Catskillkin (Art Brut.)

BUY ONLINE: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

Mon 25 • Sport: Windsor Races Flat Evening Horse racing - turf. Ladies Night.

Direct Train from Clapham Junction. River taxi to the course.

More info & tickets from www.windsor-racecourse.co.uk

Tue 26 • Music: DAVE BLACK QUARTET Live lunchtime jazz 1.00 to 3.00pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Film: The Spread Eagle Film Club Come and join us every Tuesday!

Today’s films: That Touch Of Mink @ 3pm A Viewers Choice ~ Vote for your favourite film on The Spreadeagle Film Club facebook page @ 8pm FREE ENTRY!

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX Tel: 020 8781 1134

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: Nicholas McCarthy Lunchtime Event For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: Freedom Of Expression 'the very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield' presents: Eddie’s Brother + Jenny Lockyer + Elliot Mason + Dean Austin 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA • Quiz: Dog and Bull From 8pm-11pm.

The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Music: Rammstein Live on the big screen The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: Becky Lee One Wo/Man Band + Bracelettes + JD Smith DOORS: 8pm ADM: £3 AGE LIMIT: Over 18s only Genre: blues/60s pop BUY ONLINE: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk/listings 62Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ www.windmillbrixton.co.uk Tickets; on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

Wed 27 • Sport / Music: Sandown Races Racing and music night with TOM JONES. Flat evening horse racing (first race 6pm) followed by the band (9pm-ish).

Direct Train from Clapham Junction to Esher station. Free minibus shuttle from the station to the course. Prices from £33 for adults. For more details please visit www.sandown.co.uk • Music: DOG HOUSE Midweek Music Club. 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: Neverstar Live music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Thu 28 • Sport / Music: Epsom Races Flat Evening Horse racing - turf. Epsom Live! with BLONDIE. Direct trains from East Croydon. More info & tickets from www.epsomderby.co.uk

• Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Naz Osmanoglu and Richard Sandling NAZ OSMANOGLU - Winner of the Amused Moose Laugh-off, runner-up in So You Think You're Funny, and member of sketch trio WitTank. "Spirited, witty and individual…more energy than a dozen Duracell bunnies" Steve Bennett, Chortle" RICHARD SANDLING - "Can't not be funny" The Scotsman "If lies are the disease then Spak is the Cure" Robin Ince "Expect Big laughs" The Guardian.

For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: DJ Cherrybomb rock, metal and alternative The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Theatre: Crazy For You Until September 10th. George and Ira Gershwin’s hit musical comedy is packed full of classic songs including “I Got Rhythm”, “Someone To Watch Over Me”, “Embraceable You” and “Nice Work If You Can Get It”. The original 1992 production won both the Tony and Olivier Award for Best New Musical. The creative team from the multi-award winning production of Hello, Dolly! reunites, including director Timothy Sheader, choreographer Stephen Mear and designer Peter McKintosh, with Into the Woods musical supervisor, Gareth Valentine.. For more info on the theatre, what you can take, picnic-wise, prices and times etc please visit: www.openairtheatre.org Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre, Regent’s Park, London.

Fri 29 • Sport: England v India Test Cricket. 2nd Test, 29 July - 2 August.

Trent Bridge. 11am.

• Sport: Hungarian Grand Prix Formula One from Hungaroring, 29-31 July Practice one - 0900-1030; Practice two - 1300-1430 • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Jimmy McGhie and Wittank JIMMY McGHIE - For anyone who's ever been in a conversation with someone smarter and couldn't quite busk it. 'See him now before you have to queue round the 02' - The Scotsman 'Real soul and panache' - Chortle WIT TANK - “A roundly successful slab of high-octance/highbrow character 31

comedy...a formidable sketch troupe" **** The List 'WitTank are going places' **** Metro "There are probably more original and fresh ideas in the first ten minutes of Wit Tank than many sketch shows fit into an entire hour" **** Chortle. For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: Friday Night Showcase A regular night showcasing the best local bands of all genres, with some surprise touring acts, FREE OF CHARGE this week... The Lost Audio, Press To Meco, Tidor (/Rock/Alt) Doors 8pm £FREE Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Sean rock, metal and alternative - open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: The Drifters For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 30 • Sport: Hungarian Grand Prix Formula One from Hungaroring, 29-31 July Practice three - 1000-1100; Qualifying - 1300-1400 • Comedy: Edinburgh Preview with Hari Kondabolu and Richard Sandling HARI KONDABOLU - Hari is a comedian and writer based in New York City.

According to the Seattle Times, Hari is "a young man reaching for the hand-scalding torch of confrontational comics like Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor." For more info please call the box office on 020 8680 4060 or visit www.warehousetheatre.co.uk Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, East Croydon, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Music: Exit Ten, Deprevate, Bloodloss Doors 8pm. £5 adv Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Stolen ID Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: PJ da DJ rock, metal and alternative - open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: Bowie Tribute Aladdinsane is the country's leading tribute to David Bowie. Taking you from Ziggy Stardust to Thin White Duke & Beyond, this show combines Paul Henderson's stunning vocals with aspects of David Bowie's stage characteristics and theatrics.

Faithfully re-creating many classic songs from Bowie's vast musical repertoire, Aladdinsane is hailed as the Best of Bowie with their impressive attention to detail.

N.B. The Original David Bowie actually put on gigs and performed in this very park back in 1967. Approx 8pm - 10pm Doors open 7pm Suitable for ages 14+.

BROMLEY AMPITHEATRE, Church House Gardens just behind the Churchill Theatre Bromley.

Tickets for all shows are available by calling Ticket Sales on 08448 717 620 (bkg fee) or online at www.ambassadortickets.com/bromley (bkg fee) • Walk: BECKENHAM CHURCH WALK led by Brian Lancaster.

Meet at the Beckenham Junction tramstop terminus at 14.00.

Croydon Natural History & Scientific Society. For more information search for us on facebook or e-mail: cnhssprogramme@btinternet.com • Event: Summer Singles Ball Are you single in the city?

Saturday 30th July is about mingling with friends, drinking cocktails and possibly meeting Mr or Mrs ‘Right'?

With the stunning backdrop of the South Downs, the sea and the city as a silhouette there is no more romantic setting to start your Saturday Night than having champagne and cocktails on the terrace...

Join us on this stylish night in one of our most romantic suites...

Starts 7.30pm 2 glasses of Bucks Fizz on arrival 2 tickets to any race meeting in September/October Music and dancing till late £25 per person.

More info and tickets from www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk • Film: The Hangover Pt II For more info please visit the website.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon CR9 1DG. Box Office 020 8688 9291 or book online at www.fairfield.co.uk

Sun 31 • Sport: Hungarian Grand Prix Formula One from Hungaroring, 29-31 July. Race - 1300 • Music: BRANDON ALLEN & QUENTIN COLLINS QUARTET a quartet not to be missed - Jazz News Live lunchtime jazz every Sunday from 1pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Music: JC Moody and the Usual Suspects Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Singers Night Floor singers and musicians welcome. £2.

Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.folkandblues.org • History: WOKING PALACE ARCHAEOLOGICAL PROJECT 11am to 5pm - last tour 4pm A Special Open Day to View the excavations at Woking Palace. By Conducted tour only In addition to the tour a variety of local heritage groups will be providing displays.

Location: Woking Palace, off Carters Lane, Old Woking, Surrey, GU22 8JG. TQ 029570 Access: By foot or cycle from Old Woking (approx 1 mile). Free parking available in centre of the village in gravel car park beyond tarmac car park at miniroundabout in High Street, Old Woking.

No public parking available at the site or along access road.

Please note that there are no bus services to Old Woking from Woking rail station on Sundays.

For further details see www.woking-palace.org or call 07722 299026. .

Croydon Natural History & Scientific Society. For more information search for us on facebook or e-mail: cnhssprogramme@btinternet.com • Music: ALLEZ ALLEZ, SOAP COMPANY AND ALISTAIRR Allez-Allez are Sam Willis and Steve Nolan, two of London’s brightest and most talented up-and coming producers / DJs, their sets are a mixture of all things weird, wonderful and danceable – think krautrock / minimal / industrial / house. Allez-Allez’s debut EP was released on the NYC based RVNG Intl. in autumn 2010. hey have also supplied blissed out dancefloor rerubs for Fever Ray, Simian Mobile Disco and High 32

Places amongst others.

The Soap Company are my co- residents, who are remixing Factory Floor and are currently producing their second album. two 4 one cocktails before 8pm so get down there early to enjoy the summer sun, some cheap drinks and lots of fun!

6pm-11.30pm.

Anam Cocktail Bar, 3 Chapel market Angel, London • Theatre: A Midsummer Night’s Dream Shakespeare In The Park - A Midsummer Night's Dream. Join the full professional cast of seventeen actors plus dancers in this spectacular production, following their sell out London run and reprising last year's smash hit in the Amphitheatre. This iconic and much loved Shakespeare comedy of lovers, fairies and fun is in keeping with the tradition of the piece, as the roles of the mechanicals are played by professional circuit comedians.

4pm - 6pm (Doors open 3pm) Suitable for ages 10+.

BROMLEY AMPITHEATRE, Church House Gardens just behind the Churchill Theatre Bromley. Tickets for all shows are available by calling Ticket Sales on 08448 717 620 (bkg fee) or online at www.ambassadortickets.com/bromley (bkg fee)

Mon 01 August • See every Monday etc

Tue 02 • Quiz: Dog and Bull From 8pm-11pm.

The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Film: The Spread Eagle Film Club Come and join us every Tuesday!

Today’s film tbc - check the Spread Eagle Film Club facebook page FREE ENTRY!

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX Tel: 020 8781 1134

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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: Green Day live on the big screen The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Wed 03 • Sport: Surrey v Northamptonshire Clydesdale Bank 40 Cricket. 3.40pm.

The Kia Oval, Kennington, London.

More info and tickets from www.kiaoval.com • Sport: Brighton Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf. August Festival John Smith’s Raceday Direct train from East Croydon. FREE bus from Brighton station to the course.

More info and tickets from www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Saviour Management presents: The Eyes Of A Traitor, This Is Colour, The Elijah, Charon, In Ruins (Metal/Hardcore). 16+ (ID required) Doors 7pm. £6 adv Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Blackwater + He Who Dares live music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Thu 04 • Sport: Brighton Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf. August Festival Ladies Day. Direct train from East Croydon. FREE bus from Brighton station to the course.

More info and tickets from www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk • Sport / Comedy: Sandown Races Evevning Flat horse racing - turf.

Sandown Park’s Comedy At The Races is a highly-sociable mix of flat racing and farfrom-flat entertainment from three standup performers, courtesy of London’s famous Comedy Store. After an evening's racing, three top comedians will take to the stage to provide much raucous hilarity, courtesy of the famous Comedy Store.

These acts have performed in all four corners of the world, won numerous awards between them and made plenty of appearances on both TV and radio so there are sure to be plenty of laughs on the night.

We’re not being funny, but there’s a serious point to the evening, too. The Mayor’s annual Pantomime Horse Race will raise a tidy sum for local charities. This

year the competition promises to be bigger and tougher than ever.

Direct Train from Clapham Junction to Esher station. Free minibus shuttle from the station to the course.

For more details please visit www.sandown.co.uk • Music: Blasphemy Nights bands tbc. Extreme/Death Metal Doors tbc. £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Cherrybomb rock, metal and alternative The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Fri 05 • Sport: Brighton Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - turf. August Festival Albion Day. Direct train from East Croydon. FREE bus from Brighton station to the course.

More info and tickets from www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk • Sport: Lingfield Races Afternoon Flat horse racing - Family Fun day.

Direct train from East Croydon.

More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Live night with...

Electric Trees, Kill Goliath, Static Plan, Cane Hill Drive-Thru, (Alt-Rock/Grunge) UPSTAIRS. Doors 7.30pm. £3 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Sean rock, metal and alternative - open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Event: Hastings Pirate Day Last year Hastings became the scene for the greatest ever gathering of Pirates and obtained the Guinness World Record with an epic 6,166 Pirates. Beating the then current record by over 4,000.

Because of this, Pirates are planning to descend on Hastings from all over the World on Friday 5th August. Plus swashbuckling, music and huge surprises.

The only place in the World for a Pirate to be on that day. More info from facebook page “Hastings Pirate Day”

Sat 06 • Sport / Music: Lingfield Races Evening Flat horse racing -followed by Jamie Archer.

Direct train from East Croydon.

More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Sport: Peterborough v Crystal Palace The start of the new Championship season for Palace. Come on the Eagles!

3pm KO. More info and tickets from www.cpfc.co.uk • Music: The Neil Mack Band Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: DJ Night rock, metal and alternative - open til 2am The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Sun 07 • Sport: Windsor Races Flat Afternoon Horse racing - turf. Family Fun Day. Direct Train from Clapham Junction. River taxi to the course.

More info & tickets from www.windsor-racecourse.co.uk • Music: JOSEPHINE DAVIES (Sax) QUARTET Live lunchtime jazz every Sunday from 1pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub www.jazznet.co.uk • Music: Scream Unplugged with Olski Gypsy, Mark Woods, Sam Kronis, Mav Picken, Lady Man Lady, Olivia Sebastianelli, Spag Rynne & more tbc Starts 7pm. FREE ENTRY Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Matt Bullard Live music at The Oval. Bands start 8pm ish Saturdays, 5.30pm-ish Sundays.

The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon. http://ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Singers Night Floor singers and musicians welcome. £2.

Croydon Folk and Blues Club, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.folkandblues.org

Mon 08 • Sport: Lingfield Races Afternoon Flat horse racing. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk 33

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What’s On - Daily Guide: Tue 09 • Quiz: Dog and Bull From 8pm-11pm.

The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Film: The Spread Eagle Film Club Come and join us every Tuesday!

Today’s film tbc - check the Spread Eagle Film Club facebook page FREE ENTRY!

The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX Tel: 020 8781 1134

• Music: Bullet For My Valentine live on the big screen The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD

Wed 10 • Sport: England v India Test Cricket. 3rd Test, 10-14 August.

Edgbaston. 11am.

• Comedy: Free Live Comedy night Our monthly comedy nights continue with a line-up of top touring UK comics.

Starts 8pm. FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Chain + support live music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD • Music: Bleed To This Presents...

Not straying too far from home on this one and the Bleed To This lads joined on the night by two massive metal bands!!!

First up, in an age when so many bands come and go as they jump on the latest trend, Triaxis stand out as a bastion for timeless Heavy Metal. Memorable tunes, delivered with a passion and confidence

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that only a seasoned group of musicians can possess, have cemented their place at the head of the UK's resurgent Heavy Metal scene. And the night's headliners, Rampart are travelling all the way from Bulgaria to rock your socks off!! The band has an EP scheduled for release this summer and towards the end of the year Rampart plans to release its second album.

The band is heavily inspired by old-school heavy metal bands but their music has recently been taking a more Progressive slant. Rampart’s mission is to be the banner of Metal for Bulgaria.

Door times and prices are to be confirmed RAMPART (www.myspace.com/rampartbg) TRAXIS (www.myspace.com/triaxisuk) BLEED TO THIS (www.myspace.com/bleedtothis)" Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN, tel 020 8667 0155. email lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Got something going on? Let us, and 25,000 Croydonites, know! E-mail hello@deeplondon.co.uk

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(1) A exhibition of Russian folk dancing in South Croydon, at Ruskin House’s Folk and Blues Festival. Now there’s a sentence you don’t hear every day; (2) Butchered Beats at Purley Festival; (3) The Folk & Blues Fest again, sorry, I don’t know who these are, but they were good!; (4) The Ruskin ambience; (5) Testing 123’s Mark Bishop at Purley Festival; (6) An exhibition of Samoan folk dancing by this lady here at the folk festival (unscheduled frugging); (7) The coolest kid at the Purley festival, Daisy B with mum Hannah; (8) We’ve gone international and we didn’t know it! Deep Towers, Gothenburg style, spotted by Sheila Andrews; (9) This is Paulio, found at Purley festival raising money for childhood epilepsy. We reckoned anyone willing to go out like that deserved a mention. If you want to donate, find Paulio in the Jolly Farmers; 1

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