Deep-London September 08 by angela ferrara

www.deep-london.co.uk / www.myspace.com/wiredmag Ahoy-hoy... ...And welcome to issue 63. “What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god” ...and how it all goes tits up when you reach thirty something. Yes, dear readers, since my birthday in July when I did indeed hit thirty something it’s all been going wrong - food poisoning, wrenched muscles, a knackered throat and, for what seemed like most of last month, a molar abscess which made the left hand side of my face swell up quite attractively. I looked like a hamster. Or the elephant man. Or Pob. It’s amazing how it’s the little things you miss eating, sleeping, the absence of constant searing pain down one side of your face - you know, the little things... Thank God then for the Olympic Games, which kept me company through agonising sleepless nights. I rather enjoyed them, and have been inspired to take up diving. Happily, being bonsai, I can do this from the comfort of my own home by leaping off the taps into the bath. Ba-daboom - tish! I’m here ‘til Thursday - try the fish etc... Talking of the Olympics, didn’t we do well, and also wasn’t the opening thing spectacular? It makes me fear for London 2012 where I have visions that the sum total of us getting our act together to impress the world will be a marvellous display of binge-drinking and thousands of smiling schoolchildren in perfect choreographed harmony forming the shape of a giant jellied eel. Ah well, at least it’ll be a chance to showcase what we do best - ineptitide and a marvellous ingrained cynicism - bring it on, calmly efficient Chinese people! Anyway, apologies to Anna & Nat, Skamonics and anyone else whose dos I missed due to my previously mentioned affliction, I’m just pleased it all kicked off the week after Hamlet in Stratford Upon Avon or I’d have been unable to go and would therefore have been very much more grumpy than usual for the rest of my life. Incidentally, since writing the above I’ve also suffered a bruised coxxix by dint of falling off someone’s shoulders at ‘Get Loaded In The Park’. Well I say falling off, some Italian bloke offered to lift me up to get some pictures, got about halfway up then buckled, dumping me on my arse quite unceremoniously in front of thousands of Iggy Pop fans. It was quite amusing, by all accounts... But enough of my tragic existence and on to this issue, which we’re optimistically calling an ‘itchy feet’ extravaganza in that most of it sort of revolves around travel, be it to the ends of the earth or just around the corner. It makes a change from our inadvertant music specials as it’s not all about music and it was vaguely planned, or rather it was, in the way of these things, an amorphous idea that all came together in the end in a fortuitous fashion. As much as we strive to bring the good things of South London to the fore every month, it’s still nice to get away from the place occasionally. Especially when it’s hacking it down as it is at the moment. Right, that’s it from me for another month, I look forward to a September not quite so filled with encroaching decreptitude. We shall see. Take care, people, as ever, and until next time, probably in the most literal way we’ve ever used the word - allons-y! Angela xx Your Bonsai Editor 1

Sep 2008 Issue Sixty Three

Contact Us: editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk staff & contributors: mystic mike, auntie may, lazy-boy, mat martin, tony matthews, sheila andrews hamlet pictures - ellie kurttz © rsc joanna lumley pictures - BBC/Takeaway Media, charley boorman pictures - BBC/Biting Insects/Big Earth Ltd advertising sales: call the Editor on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk printed by: Positive Image publishing & graphic design: deep-london web design: neil williams, info@nojwilliams.net web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net thanks to: jean, tony, marie, jamie; the skingler; dean, edward and all at the rsc; dave thoms; gary, ritchie, dave, dean and all at the ship; ashley, grub, richard; paul; andy sawyer; the deep golf contingent; sir alexander fleming happy birthday: gary, ferg, rebecka, jon t, martin, brendan, adam, eliot r.i.p: isaac hayes

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Mon 22 September Deep-London Readership: 25,100 monthly

SEPTEMBER 2008

THIS MONTHS FEATURES:

Charley Boorman

Joanna Lumley

Adventures in Stratford Upon Avon

Auntie May

Lazy Boy

What Goes on Tour, Stays on Tour

A Hound Dog Abroad

Boris in Clapham

News

Bootleg Lilos

Month in pictures

Stars

LISTINGS:

56 3

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Guide

Pubs, clubs, bars

Restaurants

Cabs, Hotels

Music

Cinema / Theatre

Adult

ore usually seen whizzing about on a motorbike with Ewan MacGregor - this month sees adventurer Charley Boorman (who is, incidentally, the son of film director John Boorman, who grew up in Carshalton) going it alone as he embarks on his most daring journey so far from Ireland to Australia using any available means of transport. It’s an hell of a way to make a living and, we’re quite jealous, so time to catch up with Charley and find out what it’s all about... Tell us a bit about your new adventure “I've been travelling from Wicklow, in Ireland, to Sydney by every mode of transport I can get my hands on. I've driven buses and tuk-tuks, sailed boats across the Channel and ridden on elephants - if it moved, I got on it. We got back to the basics of travel and had a lot of fun along the way.” What's different about this trip compared to Long Way Round, Race To Dakar and Long Way Down? “I suppose there are similarities between this and the others as they’ve all involved travel. For By Any Means I went from one place to another, overland, to experience different forms of transport and learn about cultures and the way people live their lives in different countries. It was basically about getting back to how people used to travel before flights became so easily accessible.” Who went on this trip with you? “This time I went with Russ, who I've done the previous three trips with and Mungo, our cameraman.” What kit did you take with you, and how did the three of you manage? “This time I took everything in one suitcase. I had everything I needed in there: warm-weather clothes (which I swapped with cold-weather clothes when we left Turkey), lots of baby wipes and a silk sleeping bag liner to avoid catching bed bugs in dodgy hotels! I brought just enough to survive. I've found, though, that as you travel you can pick up anything that you need along the way.” How did you plan which exact route to take? “When we came up with the idea, the plan was to travel from my home town in Ireland to Sydney and we tried to find the most direct route possible between the two. The route has changed quite a few

times now - it's quite complicated to travel overland these days.” Did you do any training, and what have you learnt about transport? “I’d done lots of training for my last trip, Long Way Down, so we had a few refresher courses for first aid and things like that. Then Russ and I brushed up on our yachting skills and I learnt how to drive a steam train.” How did your family feel about you leaving again? “All my life I've travelled, ever since I was a kid. When I met my wife, 20 years ago, I continued to travel for movies and different projects. You do get used to it but it's never easy to leave. My wife and kids work hard to make it easy for me, but being away from my family is still the hardest thing. They will come and meet

luck with boats on this trip. It seemed like every kind of boat we went on there was some sort of disaster. The boat that we got on originally to get to Borneo started sinking about 40 minutes into the journey and there was a small river running inside the cargo hold. In Vietnam we got onto a speedboat that almost sank - the engine died and we were drifting towards cliffs and rocks in quite lumpy seas. But, thankfully, a little fishing boat saved us. “Then we had this six-day nightmare journey with a lovely Australian guy called Warwick. We went on Warwick's Indonesian boat, which was a beautiful thing, but it took us six days and for around three of those we went through really bad weather. And for half of those three days there were 6-10 metre waves and all I could really think about was the

“The best meal we had was puff adder stew in Borneo, the worst was fish and chips at an hotel in Dover...” me at the end though for a big celebration.” Out of all the countries you’ve travelled to, which stood out the most? “It's very hard to say because all of the countries are places that I'd never been to before; places I had always wanted to go to. You always hear about backpackers who make their way towards Thailand, Indonesia and Bali and other incredible places, so finally getting the chance to travel to them has been amazing. “Going into Nepal and then into the Himalayas was something that I'd dreamed about for years, and to get up to Kathmandu was a real feat. Everyone talked about Kathmandu when they'd travelled in that direction, so it was brilliant. But I think Cambodia was the most interesting because it has only just come out of its difficulties and it's still very unspoiled. The most memorable for me was my almost disastrous journey over to Borneo which was pretty wild. But then it's difficult because India, Nepal, Vietnam and Laos, everywhere, really, were all so fascinating!” What was the scariest moment of your trip? “There were definitely a couple of hairy moments - we've had a bit of bad 4

Perfect Storm -and we all know how that ended! “But, you know, secretly I quite liked it because the sense of achievement once you've done it is pretty impressive. And it was a great experience - I had faith in our captain and he was an amazing man with a great story to tell so I liked him a lot.” What was your accommodation like throughout your journey? “Well, we did all sorts of things. We went from lovely hotels to dodgy hotels, to sleeping on people’s floors, to camping out in the bush in Australia, to sleeping on deck on boats. I can actually remember one bed that was probably the worst, which was in the passenger ship that we took to Timor. I woke in the middle of the night on this cabin bed, flicked on the light and the wall was just covered in cockroaches. I then realised they were all on my pillow and on my bed - that was pretty nasty.” What has been the most emotional moment of your journey? “I found the train journeys very difficult - especially the overnight ones. I think it's because we'd get on at two or three in the afternoon and we wouldn't get off until the next morning. On those journeys I just found myself with too

much time to myself and I would often think about why I was here and would miss my family and my children terribly. “It's funny, you don't miss physical things when you're travelling, you miss people - friends and family. I missed the simple things like waking up next to Olly, who always gives me a little cuddle in the morning, or Doone and Kinvara bounding up the stairs on a Saturday morning when they should have been sleeping in - you can't wake them up when it's a school day, but they're up at 6.30am in the morning at the weekends and jump into bed and take over the telly! It's those kinds of things you miss.” You've travelled on over 100 forms of transport - can you name three of the best and explain why? “We've done some extraordinary things. One of the journeys I liked a lot was in Iran when I jumped into this guy's old beaten-up truck and travelled with him for a bit, and I sat and listened to his story. We met him at a truck stop, had some food with him and chatted away,

You must have had lots of different types of food, what were the best and worst? “One of the best meals we had was in Borneo. We were in Pontianak and went to this place where they specialise in snake, turtle and squirrel, so we sat and had this amazing puff adder stew, which really was absolutely delicious. And then we had the squirrel, which wasn't so good, but the turtle was tasty. “The worst was in Dover. The night before we were going to cross the English Channel we stayed at this hotel, which shall not be named, and had fish and chips. It's quite difficult to mess up fish and chips and they did it - that was probably the worst meal of the whole trip, actually.” Did you ever think you wouldn't make it to Sydney? “When I make the decision that I want to do something like this I get right into it, so I’ve never been on a trip and said: 'I don't want to do this,' because I'm not the hired help - I helped to plan the

“There were hairy moments - we had a bit of bad luck with boats on this trip. It seemed like every boat we went on there was some sort of disaster” then got into his truck - he'd done over a million kilometres in it. It was pretty old, as he bought it second hand. I think it was built in the early Seventies. It was wonderful just to hang out with him. “Anything we did on motorbikes was just fab - I loved that. So, riding through Cambodia on the motorbikes was really magical for me - and the boat with our Australian friend, Warwick. In actual fact, all the forms of transport were just brilliant.”

journey. When I'm on the trip, though, there are scary moments when I think: 'Is this worth it?' “When I was sitting on that speedboat in Vietnam, drifting with no engine, overloaded, towards the cliffs on a rough sea - I had a definite moment. At that point, bizarrely, I quietly slipped my wallet, my passport and these pearls that I had just bought into my pocket thinking: 'Well, if we go over at least I've got my passport and my credit card so I

can get home'. “That was really the only time I felt quite worried that we were going to get injured, especially as a couple of people in the boat couldn't swim, so I was concerned then.” Some means of transport can be isolating and others sociable. Can you give us some examples of those you experienced along the way? “As much as train journeys can be very sociable, it is still quite a lonely way to travel. I always felt very lonely on the overnight trains. They were supposed to have been a good idea because while we were sleeping we would still be making up the miles, but I found those hardest. “The most sociable and one of the funniest was when we did the dolmus through Turkey and picked up some people on the way. Cenk, who was helping us with translating, was just hilarious. We picked up one guy whose name was Farti, which was so funny, although I'm not sure he found it funny. I think he thought we were crazy! But the dolmus was definitely the most social of all the forms of transport.” Did any of the training you did before the journey come in handy? “The sailing training really helped and certainly the refresher for the first aid is useful - it's something I think that everybody should do. Also, a little bit of exercise before we left the UK did me the world of good, because while they all dropped around me like flies, I carried on! A little bit of preparation is always a good idea.” What was the most challenging aspect of the journey? “The journey itself was challenging because it's relentless - we travelled for three and a half months and every day we were on the move, we just kept going, seven days a week. Sleeping in a different place was difficult - we were in a different type of bed, or outside, or at someone’s house or some other crazy place every night. You never really have a chance to relax. “I wouldn't change the journey we took but it could get really tiring. Towards the last part I got physically quite tired and found it fairly hard. I always felt a sense of responsibility that I had to keep going. It was a big challenge for me, so at the end I had a huge sense of achievement. It's almost as though the best part of the whole thing is achieving what you set out to do.” Charley Boorman from Ireland to Sydney By Any Means starts on BBC2 on Sunday 7 Sep. Missed it? Catch it again on www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer

Possibly more spectacular and definitely colder than the NLA Tower at night, Joanna Lumley goes north for a look at the wonderful Aurora Borealis...

n board Norway's real-life version of the Polar Express heading north out of Trondheim towards the Arctic Circle, Joanna Lumley takes out a favourite childhood book. Turning the pages of Ponny The Penguin, she points to the simple black and white illustration that inspired in her a lifelong ambition to see the Northern Lights. Born in India and raised in the steamy heat of Malaysia, Joanna's childhood experience of snow was limited to fairy stories and pictures such as that of the little penguin gazing into the night sky. "We never even needed to wear cardigans, so the idea of cold, snow and

and their experiences of the Aurora Borealis. She visits the remote fishing town of Å, spends a night inside an igloo hotel and meets the reindeer herdsmen of the Sami, Europe's last indigenous people, where she receives a snowmobile riding lesson from a fouryear-old boy. "I loved meeting the Norwegian people," says Joanna. "They were so courteous, such good fun and so kind, and they had a Viking way of staring right into your eyes. There was a wonderful artist who darned his clothes in bright colours so he looked like a little raggedy patchwork pixie and I found the Sami people very gracious. To be treated

"It's not earthly light, these are solar atoms hurtling past and getting sucked in by the magnetic force of the world” ice was alien," she says. "I couldn't think what it would be like. I suppose you always want what you've never had and the Northern Lights hung in my mind as something I thought I would never see and yet, as I got older, longed to see with all my heart." In a new film for BBC One, Joanna Lumley In The Land Of The Northern Lights, the actress at last realises her ambition, having been approached by film-makers Takeaway Media who'd heard her mention it during her appearance on Desert Island Discs. The result is an Arctic odyssey by train, light aircraft, ferry, dog sled and snowmobile across Norway's spectacularly rugged winter landscape. As the film's director Archie Baron says: "It's hard to find a more enjoyable travelling companion than the clever, charming, indefatigable Ms Lumley." Joanna in turn is charmed by the Norwegian people and their tales of life in the far north, its myths and legends,

to a yoik, a traditional Sami song, by one of the community's elders was extraordinary. I think there's a real pioneer spirit running through the country – they have to be able to ski and skate from a very early age just to get about; they're tough little children. From the age of six they start learning English and by the time they're 11 they speak three languages." Although Norway is a country well equipped for Arctic conditions, Joanna says parts of the journey proved tough going. "There were only five of us – camera, sound, director, producer and me – in masses of clothing, lumping 35 pieces of equipment everywhere, which was very good for your waistline. When we were outside, filming in minus-26 degrees, the cold was so intense it took your breath away." Joanna describes the majestic snowfields, mountains and fjords as a "fairytale vision, savage, sublime and quite overpowering", but its greatest 8

glory comes not from Earth but from space where particles, carried on solar winds, are attracted by the magnetic poles. As these particles hit the top of the atmosphere, their energy is converted into the most astonishing light show – the Aurora Borealis. But, living up to their nickname The Tricky Lady, the Northern Lights remained elusive almost to the last. Hope of an early sighting was thwarted by cloud cover. "There was a very real possibility that we might not see the Aurora at all," Joanna explains. "That would have been a huge disappointment, but it shows that there's something wonderful about nature, that you can't always guarantee it. I did see a glimmer early on, two green-ish vapour trails, but cloud came over, the crew never saw it and it was gone. "We saw a bit of a showing on another night, but not enough to film and, because we were on a tight schedule and all had other jobs lined up, we were stuck. It was almost our last night and we were getting a little bit tense when this extraordinary man, Kjetil Skogli – an Aurora expert – came to assist us. He told us that conditions where we were would be bad again, but he had a feeling that if we went to a particular fjord we might have a good chance. So we drove like mad to set up the equipment and get into our survival kit. "We stood shivering, it was so cold. The moon was bright, the wind was quite hard and the stars were very bright, the water was glittering. We stood there thinking what are we looking for, what is it? Then just above one of the hills was this extraordinary bloom, like a kind of algae, just growing, like a weird fence or curtains or snakes. It began to throb and pulsate into a very vivid green and then it began to split up and change. For about the next hour and a half it was just mind-blowing, we

were all shouting to each other, sometimes lying on our backs like babies, it was like nothing I'd ever seen. "It's not earthly light, these are solar atoms hurtling past and getting sucked in by the magnetic force of the world, you have to slow the camera apertures right down to get enough of this extraordinary light in. I had to stand as

has all come from the sun and our little tiny planet that we're trying to save... you see how majestic it is, and that it's part of the massive universe, you begin to feel very humble. To be soppy about it, we had stars in our eyes. I'd been waiting all my life to see the Northern Lights and then I saw them on a scale beyond description."

“To be soppy about it, we had stars in our eyes. I'd been waiting all my life to see the Northern Lights and then I saw them on a scale beyond description." still as a rock, with the wind blowing and buffeting, so that they could film and then later show it in real time; it's a weird way of filming, but there's no other way of doing it. I think it may well be the best film the world has ever got of the Lights, they are phenomenally hard to capture." The fulfilment of a lifetime's yearning; it was an emotional moment for Joanna. "It was beyond any dream you could have," she says. "This particular showing was so spectacular that it was reported on Danish television news. It

So does Joanna now have other ambitions? "I'd love to see an active volcano, to travel more in the Middle East, to see some of the great ruined statues in Turkey, Angkor Wat in Cambodia – the great temples tangled up in the jungle – the Great Wall of China, Ayers Rock. I've been in the Sahara, but I'd like to go with the Tuareg people on a camel ride. If you take a camera crew along, lots of people, who will never get the chance to do this, can see something and perhaps be inspired. I think the world is such an

interesting place, I love geography and how the earth works and who lives where and why." And Antarctica perhaps? "I think I've had enough of the cold just for the moment, but maybe I'd see penguins there..." Apart from her joy at seeing the Northern Lights at last, is there one abiding memory that Joanna will treasure from her adventure? "It's rather babyish but the most thrilling thing was to get out of the dog sled, holding a SatNav and to walk forward to see the exact moment that I crossed into the Arctic Circle. It was just snow and dogs and absolute silence. You know how quiet the snow makes everything, except for the squeaking of your boots, leaving blue footprints. Realising you are in the Arctic is almost like a fairy story, quite astonishing." Joanna Lumley: In The Land of the Northern Lights is on BBC1 on Sunday 7 September. Missed it? Catch it again on www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer

t may be a bit more, er, domestic, than a trek to the other side of the world or a visit to the northern lights but; as predicted in last months editorial regarding my little trip away to get some Shakespeare action - some sort of a travelogue article and an encounter with bemused members of the Royal Shakespeare Company. We promise; we deliver. Oh yes. And we visit more pubs. As is usual, I’m writing this article a good two weeks after the event, which normally means things are somewhat hazy. This time, however, everything has

is a bit of a palaver to get to, especially with a suitcase, regardless of its ability to wheel along and get caught in tram tracks, upend itself on kerbs etc. Luckily, I have friends on the inside of the transport system, i.e. my mate Dave at East Croydon who’d worked out a route across town which involved the minimum of stairs. Unfortunately, one of tube lines I’m routed on is inexplicably shut, so I end up having to take another, which involves the maximum of stairs. Hey-ho, I do make it to catch the train proper, and a mere three and a half

The boat trip I take is populated mainly with elderly people, thus I consider it may be bad form to throw up over the side... remained in perfect clarity, which possibly proves two things - 1) I really needed a holiday and 2) it was such a great few days that my usually abstracted cerebral cortex is refusing to let me forget it, for which I thank it profusely. Oh yeah, and c), or 3) it might be quite a long article. Here we go then. The Trip: Stratford Upon Avon is quite a long way away. Three hours twenty-five minutes away, to be precise (but strangely, only 3hrs 15 back, maybe it’s downhill...) and

hours later I’m trundling along the streets of Stratford to my hotel (which turns out also to be a pub - hurrah!), a suitably olde-worlde tudor black beamed building called The Falcon. I’m soon ensconced in my rather posh room passing judgement on the tea-andcoffee-making-facilities (they have their own tea-and-coffee-making-facilities retractable shelf - swish!) doing a bit of unpacking and generally settling in before I notice it’s 4pm, it’s a sunny Sunday afternoon and I’m in a strange new place - in my world, that’s time to

absurdly sinister swan - look at its eyes! break your arm with its wing as soon as look at you - bastard...

hit the town. First things first, a wander down to the theatre to check a) my bearings and b) that my press tickets are on the door waiting (ooh - get me!) but not before my first odd encounter of the day with 15 blokes all wearing the same t-shirt whose response to my question ‘what are you lot then?’ Is, ‘the Australian Old Peoples Cricket Team’, a veteran side who, it transpires, are staying at my hotel, thus ensuring all my breakfasts will be alive with tales of amusing Antipodean googly mishaps. Meanwhile the Courtyard Theatre turns out to be but a 5 minute stroll from my hotel. ‘That’s handy’, I think, congratulating myself on being so close. At least I do until some time later in the evening when I realise everywhere in Stratford apart from the train station is no more than a brief 10 minute stroll from my hotel. It is Not A Big Place. Happily, it does have A Lot Of Pubs, and so it begins... Now I love a good river, me, thus my first destination is a bridge across the Avon, ostensibly to look wistfully at said river, but actually to find a pub with a beer garden on it, which I do, immediately, in the form of ‘Cox’s Yard’ - described slightly sinisterly in its little pamphlet as ‘a great place to go in the day’ where an acoustic duo are doing Duran Duran’s ‘Save A Prayer’ thankfully

some people I met along the way or rather, down the pub, as I do left to right: claire, ben, vicki, simon, ziggy, martin 12

just far enough away to prevent me hearing it. Not exactly the most character-filled pub, the Yard is notable for its mainly tribute-tastic live music venue (Fred Zeppelin, anyone?) and its refreshingly laissez-faire attitude to safety. There’s not a barrier to be seen between the edge of the beer garden and the Avon. Two pleasant if tourist-y (£3.40!) riverside pints of Red Stripe later and I’m ready to employ my trusty travelling mantra - ‘in a strange town, ALWAYS ask the locals where the best pub is.’ Now to find a pub with some locals in it so I can ask them... My next stop, a pub called the Rose and Crown, is another tudor blackbeamed building, as a lot of the buildings here are, some incongruously so, with the top half being all old and characterful and the bottom half being a Dixons or a Pizza Express. Very odd, and

on the same road, yet completely unnoticed on my earlier sojourn, I find what I was looking for - ‘The Dirty Duck’ or indeed ‘The Black Swan’ depending from which side you see the sign outside (Black Swan, Dirty Duck, geddit?) and what a brilliant pub. Up some stone steps from the road with a tree outside which seems to be growing from the building, a view across the small road to the river and adorned inside with posters from the RSC signed by members of the respective casts, this is the boozer I spend most of my time in now I’ve found it (£2.60 a pint), and where I meet my second random group, who just start chatting to me while I’m sat scribbling in my notebook (see picture of random people in pub). Claire, Simon and Ziggy are from Bristol, they own houseboats that are moored across the river after a jaunt to

Cox’s Yard pub is notable for its tribute-tastic live music venue and its laissez-faire attitude to riverside safety... the Bulldog Bash, and they have been in the pub A Long Time, whereas Martin, Ben and VIcki are locals who’ve been sucked into their wake. Ben is also the drummer in Stratford band ‘North Atlantic Oscillation’ (myspace.com/naoband). All of these people find my London accent amusing, although there’s some dispute from another table as to whether it’s ‘saaaf’, as I say, or ‘sarf’ as they do, which is cleared up when we discover they’re from Charlton and know no better. A highly amusing night ensues until closing, whence I wobble back to my hotel for another drink, get into a conversation with a Tottenham supporter, buy a bottle of wine for £15, take it up to my room, open it and promptly fall asleep. Day 1 - Approved! Day 2 begins with a hangover and agony all down my right arm, which I assume I’ve slept on funny but later turns out to be wrenched muscles from yesterdays happy union of suitcase and stairs. Today is the day of the play, and I’m determined to stay out of any pubs, so decide to take a riverboat trip. It’s still only early so I’m on the boat mainly with elderly people, thus I consider it may be bad form to guess which of this lot I ended up in the pub with... 14

a bit like Shakespeare, a mixture, sometimes an uneasy one, of the very very old and the modern. Ooh, hark at me all philosophical - more beer please. The Crown is as you’d expect from the outside only bigger, decorated in deep reds and greens and dark wood panelling with a beer garden complete with covered pool table and screen, and a slightly less costly pint. So far the local advice has consisted of a pub-quiz and a nightclub called Chicago’s (which I passed on the way from the train and, er, no thanks) so, as it’s getting brisk, I nip back to the hotel to get a jumper before continuing my search, pausing only to ask a porter on the way out if he has any recommendations, which he does and, God bless, him, the boy pulls a blinder. And lo, but 30 yards from the theatre

throw up over the side. I’m looking forward to a peaceful excursion but this boat has a guide, who is informative yet monotone and is increasingly reminding me of the cave guide in The League of Gentlemen - “I myself am not fond of the darkness – It’s in the darkness I see the boy’s face. Eyes protruding, tongue out…black. Every day the same…parade of blank faces… But you keep going, don’t you?”. If you do ever go to Stratford Upon Avon, I might suggest you drive so you can visit surrounding attractions like Warwick Castle. Otherwise, there is not a lot to do apart from all the pubs. I lasted until 12.15 before going into the Windmill, a boozer so old it’s the only one I have ever been in where I am in danger of banging my head on a beam (handily foam-covered), before heading back to the duck for some lunch etc. A substantial amount of white wine later it’s time to go home and get ready, using the hotel’s complimentary shampoo which is made from sea-kelp and which I’m slightly afraid will leave me looking like Old Gregg. It does not, and, even if I do say so myself, by the time I rock out again, I look bloody fabulous. Unfortunately, on the way to the theatre it pisses down so I look slightly less great on arrival, have no idea what time it is, rush to my seat and only then realise the play lasts for 2 and a half hours before the interval, I have no drink on me, a throat like a badgers flip-flop (mixed metaphor I know) and now can’t get out again as I’m surrounded, four rows from the stage at the non-aisle end, by other punters. Oh. Kay. This better be good... The Main Event: I really needn’t have worried - from the opening scene, lit only by flashlights held by the actors which alternately bounce off the polished thrust stage to illuminate faces and wheel around in confusion, it’s magnificent. When the lights do go up, they reveal a huge wall of mirrored panels at the back of the stage which makes for vivid special effects (in the closet scene, Hamlet shoots Polonius, who’s hiding behind the wall, with a revolver, it goes momentarily dark, and when vision is restored the glass has crazed spectacularly from the bullet hole). For the most part, the play has no set and is ingeniously staged - the stage itself has two corridors running out through the audience which are used effectively throughout by tha actors hurtling back and forth. Interior scenes are conjured simply by chandeliers descending from above, and when sets are utilised,

they’re minimal, pulling the focus to the performances. Speaking of which, bloody hell. David Tennant, in English accent mode, is a ball of lanky energy - captivating as both barefoot manic madman and introspective lost soul, wry sarcastic wit and complex tortured intellectual, he throws himself into the role with customary exuberance and energy. In fact, he’s so good that I forgot both who he is and also that I know these solliloques pretty much back to front, which is what it’s all about, I reckon. Ironically, for a play in which pretty much everyone buys it in the end, Hamlet does contain a lot of humour, albeit black, and this production emphasises that. Oliver Ford Davies's superb portrayal of a Polonius with the habit of drifting off absent-mindedly during any conversation is very funny, but Hamlet himself gets a good share of laughs, from a cheery sing-song ‘Goodnight, Mother’ as he drags the dead Polonius away to a bit of improv as he’s wheeled off stage, strapped to an office chair by Claudius's henchmen: ‘Come, for England - wheee!’ The decision to put the interval right as Hamlet stands above Claudius, flickknife in hand, ready to exact his

probably by now horribly aware. Suffice to say, three and a half hours seemed like a hell of a lot less, I could’ve watched it again, and I would’ve stood up at the end, during the encores (with Tennant grinning like a loon, indicating he enjoyed it as much as we did, or if he didn’t then he’s a better actor than anyone thought), except I had a coat, a programme and a second-half bottle of water on my lap so I couldn’t. Yes, I’m a fan of Tennant, and I’m a fan of Hamlet but I honestly haven’t seen a better production than this in a very long time. I’m not sure if the Novello Theatre, to where this production moves in December, has a thrust stage so there may well have to be some serious tweaking before that, but if the performances remain of this quality then I strongly advise that you beg, borrow or steal [Deep-London Magazine does not condone or in any way encourage stealing - a lawyer] a ticket if you can. The Aftermath: As far as I’m concerned, there are two things you can do after a play: a) you can grab your programme etc and scuttle off to the stage door to get autographs and whatnot with a substantial amount of simpering ladies

Hamlet is a lot funnier, a lot filthier, a lot more energetic and a lot, well, just better than I’ve seen it for a very long time... revenge, has been criticised in some reviews, but I suspect that’s a bit of snobbery as I thought it worked well, especially for any members of the audience who hadn’t seen the play before. The audience, incidentally were rapt throughout, evidenced by two audible gasps from the packed house, one on the ‘country matters’ line, with Tennant gleefully emphasising the c*nt bit, and later when Ophelia goes nuts, skipping, singing, on to the stage in a dress which she tears away to reveal a slip, which is then also ripped away to leave her just in her underwear admirable bravery from actress Mariah Gale, I thought. Elsewhere, Patrick Stewart’s performance is low-key and clever as the epitome of a canny politician with a dark secret and, in fact, pretty much everyone in the play is marvellous. It’s a lot funnier, a lot filthier, a lot more energetic and, well, just a lot better than the last time I saw it, and that was with Kenneth Branagh, in a peculiarly joyless production, but nevertheless. I could go on, but I’m not a theatre critic, as you’re

or, b) you can grab your programme etc and scuttle off down the road to the pub, get your breath back, get a very large glass of white wine, bag a prime table out the front and have a particularly enjoyable cigarette. Unsurprisingly, I plump for option (b), and am happily thumbing through said programme whilst particularly enjoying said cigarette and wine out the front of, where else but the Dirty Duck when it all becomes a tad surreal in that I’m pretty sure Horatio has just walked past me towards the bar. As it transpires, he has, or rather actor Peter De Jersey has, as the cast do indeed, as I’d been told by the porter the day before, frequent the pub after the show, particularly on nights when there’s no performance the next day, as there isn’t here, and pretty soon almost all of them are milling about outside chatting and doing what actors do, i.e. smoking a lot, drinking a lot and signing some autographs. I, of course, am far too cool for school to get autographs, so opt to give Horatio a grinning thumbs up from across the patio, to which he 16

mouths back a ‘thank you very much’, which was nice I thought, and ask Laertes (the bloke in the picture on p16 who isn’t Tennant or Stewart), who’s just hobbled up having evidently recovered from being dead but not from apparently doing himself a mischief during the fight scene, and who has now joined my table, to look after my stuff while I go to the bar. A few drinks later and me and the bloke who bumped off Hamlet (or actor Edward Bennett, to his mum) are chatting away about, amongst other things, a mutual appreciation for ‘The Wire’, the smoking ban, the revelation that there is, in fact, a 24 hour Tesco in Stratford, meaning I needn’t have forked out £6.80 for 16 cigarettes from the pub machine the previous night and whether you can empty the contents of a medical ice-pack into a vodka and tonic and, if so, what would be the likely outcome. Meanwhile, some other cast members are discussing how impressed everyone’s been with the audiences for Hamlet, given that, I think it’s fair to say, a proportion have never seen any Shakespeare before and may, conceivably, be there for one thing, with that thing being Mr Tennant. I have to say I agree, although it’s such a mesmeric performance and indeed production that I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who wasn’t completely sucked in by it. By now almost the entire cast are here, with the notable exceptions of Dave and Patrick, which I guess is understandable, and again a most amusing and enjoyable night is had before I wobble off back to my hotel for the second time. It’s only after I’ve had another attempt at that bottle of wine, a squizz through the programme and a bit of a think that I realise that today has actually been one of the best days of my life. This is a big deal, as I’ve had quite a lot of great days. I haven’t nearly killed anyone famous, I’ve had the kind of euphoria only experienced by people who work for themselves when they realise they can turn their ‘phone off for an entire day, I’ve seen a mindblowingly good play and I’ve got pissed with some lovely actors, and it doesn’t really get much better than that.

Hamlet plays in repertoire at The Courtyard Theatre, Stratford-uponAvon from 24 July - 15 November 2008. Hamlet plays at the Novello Theatre in London from 3 December 2008 – 10 January 2009. www.rsc.org.uk

The Agony Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May gets out and about so you don’t have to...

ello again to both my avid readers. Well, I had imagined after the rather low key and relaxing time I had in July that August would be in a similar vein, but no! not at all. My presence has been requested more or less non-stop throughout the whole month and I am, to put it bluntly, pooped. Two of my favourite bands, Heaven’s Basement and Soliss, finally gave in to my pleas to come down and play Croydon and believe me it was well worth the wait. We raided Iceland for snacks and supplies and Dom at the Brief demonstrated his enviable pizza-burning abilities but both bands survived our hospitality long enough to give awesome performances and I am pleased to report that ANOTHER encore was demanded – only the second in history at the Brief

(Godsized providing the first). Following on from last month’s column, I continued to plague the life out of the judges at the Ship’s Battle of the Bands contest [which was, by the way, an entirely fair contest and if one more person tells me it was a fix I will, as one of the four independent judges, smack them one proper - Ed]. Congratulations must go to Dean and all the magnificent bar staff at the Ship for working flat-out keeping us all supplied with drinks and hand-stamps (and switching the fan on over the judges’ table) during the contest. All the bands were magnificent (apart from a very short interlude when I completely lost the will to live) and it was a very close contest as the final drew to a close. I had thoughtfully provided the judges with a huge tub of my own

patented Flapjackdaniels [and very nice they were too - Ed] and consequently I wasn’t sure at one stage whether they were voting for the best band, the tightest trousers or the ‘haircut most likely to feature in a historical re-enactment documentary’ but I am pleased to report that 23 Enigma won the race (despite Dave’s questionable Gay Cowboy disguise), closely followed by Miss Nicaragua, The Hangovers and Rumpledrumskin, with their loyal band of dancing WADs (wives and daughters). Well done everybody – ya done good! Closely following my residency at the Ship, I was forced to up sticks and move continued on page 46

Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Beanos Records • Bedford Tavern • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Eagle • Fairfield Halls • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Half and Half Lounge Bar • Loop • Milan Bar • Mojama • Natterjacks (St George’s Walk) • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Strictly UK (Tramms) • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing (St George’s Walk) • Walkabout • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROYDON: • Alma Tavern • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROYDON: • Bird in Hand • Bodyworks Whitehorse Rd

Listings Index:

Pick up your copy of Deep from any of these 150odd lovely places:

• Davys Wine Bar • Oakfield Tavern • Old Derby (Pitlake) • Sun • Windmill SOUTH END & SOUTH CROYDON: • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Duke’s Head • E Bar • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly • Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Laithwaite’s Wines (opp. Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Txt Bar • Treehouse • Royal Oak • Rupali • Ruskin House • Unwins (Swan & Sugarloaf) • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi

• • • • • • •

Elliott’s Jolly Farmers Las Fuentes Rectory Purley BR Purley Oaks BR Station Cars (Purley BR) • Bombay Blue

What’s on? full weekly and daily guide

Directory:

PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel KENLEY: • Kenley BR • Kenley Arms SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar

pubs, clubs, bars

restaurants

cabs etc

hotels

All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.

SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern SELHURST: • Pepperton UK • Two Brewers THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive

PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay Sandwich Bar (by Purley BR) 20

ARE YOU... In a band? A DJ? Running an event? In an establishment we’ve missed? Just dying to tell us something? Then let us know! Standard what’s on listings are FREE! Deadline for inclusion in October issue 22 September 2008 e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk

what’s on Book Now For: • Comedy: Dylan Moran 13th November 2008 No further explanation necessary, surely?! 8pm. £17-19 Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

Every Day: • Exhibition: Hadrian: Empire and Conflict Until 26 October 2008 This special exhibition will explore the life, love and legacy of Rome’s most enigmatic emperor, Hadrian (reigned AD 117–138). Ruling an empire that comprised much of Europe, northern Africa and the Middle East, Hadrian was a capable and, at times, ruthless military leader. He realigned borders and quashed revolt, stabilising a territory critically overstretched by his predecessor, Trajan. Hadrian had a great passion for architecture and Greek culture. His extensive building programme included the Pantheon in Rome, his villa in Tivoli and the city of Antinoopolis, which he founded and named after his male lover Antinous. This unprecedented exhibition will provide fresh insight into the sharp contradictions of Hadrian’s character and challenges faced during his reign. Objects from 28 museums worldwide and finds from recent excavations will be shown together for the first time to reassess his legacy, which remains strikingly relevant today. Daily 10.00–17.30 (last entry 16.20) Open late on Thursdays and Fridays until 20.30 (last entry 19.20) Adult £12.00 BM Friends Free Child 16-18 £10.00 Child under 16 Free when accompanied by a paying adult Students £10.00 Family (2 adults and up to 3 children under 18) £25.00 Disabled person £10.00 (+ free admission for a carer) Groups From £9.50 per person (8 or more people, advanced telephone booking only) Art Fund member £6.00 The British Museum, Great Russell Street, London WC1B 3DG www.britishmuseum.org

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! • Exhibition: Jack The Ripper and the East End Until 2 November 2008 The first exhibition to explore the Jack the Ripper murders and their legacy. From police files and photographs to letters from the public and the supposed Ripper himself, examine, for the first time, surviving documents and artefacts from the investigation and follow the crimes as they unfolded. Adults: £7, Children £5 (not recommended for kids under 12) Booking: 0844 980 2151 Museum in Docklands, West India Quay, London, E14 4AL www.museumindocklands.org.uk/ jacktheripper

Every Monday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Free Your Voice World a capella singing drop-in. Beginners 6.30pm, intermediate 7.45pm. Workshop rooms at The Clocktower, Katharine Street. For more details phone Cate on 020 8683 4737 or e-mail catherine@naturalvoice.net. • Music: Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. Prices vary depending on artist. Call Brian on 0208 698 5322 for further info. Licensed bar. Ruskin House,Coombe Road, CRO. • Music: Big Beer Band The 8 million Big Beer Band musicians have do their thang at the Brief. From 9pm ish TheBrief, George Street, Croydon • Club: Manic Mondays 241 on Reef, VK, Carling, Becks. Free entry before 11pm. 8pm-1am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0. 020 8774 5911 • Games: Free Pool Every Monday at The Alma. The Alma Tavern 129 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0, 020 8654 5842 • Club: Members’ Night Half price drinks ‘til midnight for those registered with our new membership system. Featuring DJ set from The Katie and Alex Show. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 21

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Lifestyle: Croydon Life Club Every Monday 7.30-9.00pm £15.00 per workshop (Concessions given) Croydon Life Club, St Mildred’s Centre Bingham Road, Addiscombe, CR0 7EB More info visit: www.lifeclubs.co.uk • Dance: Ballroom & Latin American Ballroom and latin American classes with stars from BB1 show “Strictly Come Dancing” Fairfield Halls Croydon on Monday evenings for all abilities. 8 week course. Booking essential. Telephone 07944 931130, www.karenhardystudios.com

Every Tuesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley. 0208 763 2629 • Club: Now That’s What I Call Tuesdays 241 on Reef, VK, Carling, Becks. Free entry before 11pm. 8pm-1am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0. 020 8774 5911 • Dance: Belly Dancing Come and join the fun every Tuesday. Classes are for women only and suitable for all ages, sizes and levels of ability. Make sure you wear comfortable clothing and bring a scarf to tie around your hips to really get you in the mood! Open level - suitable for all 6pm7.15pm In depth class - suitable for experienced dancers only: 7.30pm8.45pm. £7 per class. Call Charlotte Desorgher on 01342 850423 The Green Room, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

what’s on • Dance: Ceroc Learn to Ceroc every Tuesday in the Arnhem Gallery. Ceroc is an exciting and stylish modern partner dance which can be performed to all types of music. It’s very easy to pick up, no special clothes are required and you don’t need to bring a partner as we make sure everyone mixes together. Beginners: 8pm; Intermediate: 9pm Freestyle: 9.30pm-11pm Membership £2, Admission £6 For further info tel: 020 8466 5030 or visit: www.cerockent.com Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Quiz: The Builders Arms General knowledge quiz, always well supported, from 9pm. The Builders Arms • Quiz: Bar R Fiendishly difficult Pop Quiz. Kicks off around 8.30pm. Bar R, 73 South End, CR0. 020 8667 1308. • Quiz: The Sandrock Music/general knowledge quiz from 8.30pm every Tuesday. The Sandrock, Upper Shirley Rd, Shirley, CR0. 020 8662 1931. • Quiz: The Crown From 8.30pm The Crown, 28 Wickham Road, Shirley, 020 8662 7801 • Quiz: Dog and Bull from 9ish. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Beautiful People Beautiful people is on every Tuesday night. This long running alternative night continues to leap ahead having been ahead of the pack in the past playing nu-metal and screamo we are now moving into playing a majority of emo. Our recent celebrity visitors have included My Chemical Romance (we were first UK club to play them) and Alkaline trio alongside them we championed Fallout Boy and Panic at the Disco. Resident DJ Zoe Urchin also blends in ska (Mad Caddies to Specials to Desmond Dekker) and punk ( Undertones to Afi to Green day to Minor Threat) some new school rock (Trivium to Queens of stone age) and a pinch of hip hop and dance (Pendulum to Kano). Drinks deals are an

unbeatable £2 for Jack daniels and coke, £1.50 for house spirits and two bottled beers for £3 11pm-3am. £3 flyer/conc before midnight £5 after or otherwise all night theres a full listing, downlaodable flyer, photo gallery , Djs picks and links to our my space page www.wolfshead.co.uk Metro, Basement 19 Oxford Street London W1, www.wolfshead.co.uk • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 drinks till 11pm! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Wednesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Dance: Salsa Lessons No partner is required and beginners will find a fun and friendly introduction to latin moves. All levels catered for. Lessons start at 8.00pm and cost £6. Club enterance is free. Info : 0208 688 0934 Bar Latino, 48 Park St, CR0. 0208 688 0934. www.barlatino.co.uk • Event: Pool Competition Weekly pool competition. Entrants must register before 7pm on the night, comp starts 7.30. Free buffet for entrants and £30 bar tab for the winner. Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, CR0 1NA. 020 8667 0684 • Karaoke: The Old Derby From 7pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Club: Club Camp GAY night at the sheep with cabaret at 11pm + electro, sleeze and cheese till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Thursday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Live Jazz Every Thursday lunchtime from 12.30pm. FREE! Cafe Opera, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, CR0. 020 8253 1030. www.croydon.gov.uk/clocktower • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Open Mic at The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon, every Thursday 8.30 p.m. Musicians ( Guitarists or others with any ‘reasonable’ instrument ), Duo’s, Trios, Singers, welcome Tel: 0208 6576655. wwwthegoodcompanions.com The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon • Quiz: Red Deer Every Thursday from 9pm. Red Deer, 279 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8760 0131 • Club: Xplosive The Wolfshead alternative mafia try a new night at this poular South London bar known up until now for its dance events just around the corner from Brixton tube. Into its plush surroundings will come DJ Zoe Urchin and guests cunningly blendingly together an eclectic romp through the alternative genre featuring indie (Arctics to White Stripes), emo, (My Chemical Romance to Panic at the Dsico), alternative rock ( System of a Down to Green Day), punk (Misfits to Blink 182) ,ska ( Specials to Less than jake)and alternative dance (Pendulum to

what’s on Kanye). Drinks deals are Jack daniels and coke £2.50, house spirits and mixer £2.00 and 2 selected beers for £3. 10pm- 3am £3 before midnight, £5 after less for students/flyers/members. flyer to download at website www.wolfshead.co.uk Tongue and Groove, 50 Atlantic Road Brixton • Club: Discotek Midweek gay music club with world class music. Two rooms of music every Thursday with 'The Phunked Up Disco' in the lounge and pumping house vibes in the main room. Resident DJs Femi B, Jeffrey Hinton, Luke Hope, Guy Williams, Paul Heron, Tom McMillan, plus international and UK guests. Weekly pre-party @ The Edge and Candy Bar (from 2100) The End, 18 West Central St London WC1A 1JJ. 020 7419 9199 www.endclub.com • Club: Rock Night South London’s biggest and best rock night. Live music every Thursday from 8-9.30. FREE before 10pm and most drinks are at happy hour prices till 9pm...what more do you want?! Bands are followed by DJ Tony X. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa De Cuba with Leo & Co. Classes from 8pm followed by club salsa until 1am. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Dance: Simply Salsa Learn to dance salsa every Thursday. Beginners welcome. No partner required. Classes from 7.30pm, club til midnight. Admission £7.00 class and club, £3.00 club only. It’s fun and friendly, monthly Sunday’s also!! For further info. simplysalsa@ukonline.co.uk 07957 431216 or 07759 584591 The Treehouse, South End, Croydon • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear. Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner

Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: Soca / Calypso Beginners welcome and rum punch served! The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk • Karaoke: Arkwrights Wheel All together now... Arkwrights Wheel, 151 North End, CR0. 020 8649 8638. • Karaoke: Dukes Head More singing shenanigans. Dukes Head, 14 South End, CR0. 020 8680 9728. • Karaoke: Selhurst Arms Thursday night would appear to be karaoke night bleedin’ everywhere... From 8pm. Selhurst Arms, Selhurst Rd, SE25. • Quiz: Bar R Relaxed, friendly and entertaining general knowledge quiz, every Thursday from 8.30pm, open until 1am. See review in August’s Wired. Bar Rendezvous, 73 South End, CR0. 020 8667 1308. • Quiz: Purley Arms Quiz-a-rama, every Thursday from 8.30pm, £1 in for cash prizes + other goodies. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: Cricketers General knowlegde quiz with £50 prize. The Cricketers, 47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER 020 8655 3507 • Music: Boulevard Live music while you eat. Boulevard, 7-8 Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Road, South Croydon. 020 8649 9990. 23

• Music: Open Mic Quiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m. ww.thegoodcompanions.com Limpsfield Road, South Croydon 0208 657 6655 • Club: Roller Disco 8pm-12am. £10 inc skate hire. Classic disco, funky house and r’n’b over three rooms, on wheels. Call before setting out to make sure it’s on! Canvas, Bagley’s Studios, King’s Cross Freight Depot, York Way, London N1 OUZ. 020 7833 8301. www.rollerdisco.info • Quiz: The Valley - NEW! From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz The Valley, 76 Croydon Road, Caterham

Every Friday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Market: Indoor Market clothes, cards, bric-a-brac, toys, jewellery + a cafe serving teas, coffee, rolls, sandwiches etc. 7.30am-12 noon. Kenley Memorial Hall , Godstone Road, Kenley (between shops & police station) Bus route 407. For further info call 020 8668 1648 • Photography: Camera Club Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc. Ample parking. Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk • Club: E-Bar 8pm-2am. The E-Bar, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Club: DJ Night - NEW Every Friday. Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon • Club: Indie-pendance South Londons biggest and best indie night every Friday. Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien-nation) plays eclectic guitar driven grooves comprising the godfathers of indie (Oasis, Stone Roses, Radiohead), new school indie (Kaisers, Kasabian and Bloc party) and retro (Ramones to Beach

what’s on Boys). Drinks promos and the usual friendly sheepers. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. www.blacksheepbar.com 020 8680 2233. • Club: Upstairs DJ's including Louis from Choice FM. Drink promotion from 9pm - 11pm with all house spirits £2. The only club in Croydon licensed until 3am. Entry £3 before 11pm and £5 after. Free entry to diners of the restaurant. Guest list and venue hire available, please contact 020 8688 9837 for details. www.treehousepeople.com Upstairs, above Treehouse restaurant 78 South End, CR0 020 8688 9837 • Music: DJ Party Night The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Karaoke: Karaoke Madness Singalong fun with Jerry Baker & Co in the bar from 9pm. The Norbury, The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Club: Club Zone following on from Karaoke Madness is Club Zone @ The Edge Nightclub playing club & party classics with guest DJs, open til 3am. The Edge Nightclub, The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Club: Dj Steve Mapp in the main room Dj Mark B in Surfers All Drinks £1.50 5pm to 9pm Dress code: Smart casual. Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon • Disco: Twinkle-Toes Music from the 50s to present with DJ Twinkle-Toes. 5pm-close.. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Karaoke: Forestdale Arms Featherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260. • Karaoke: Swan & Sugarloaf Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Karaoke: The Norbury From 9pm. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Music: Alma Tavern Live music. Alma Tavern, 129 Lwr Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8654 5842. • Music: Oakfield Tavern Live music every Friday Oakfield Tavern, 166 St James’ Rd, CR0. 020 8684 1743.

• Music: Jolly Farmers Live music every Friday Jolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (on Purley Cross) 020 8660 2076 • Singles: Swan & Sugarloaf Over 30 single’s night in the function room. Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Music: Mama K’s Blues Bar Mama K's blues bar, run by local blues/rock musicians, open jam from 8 pm, full backline provided. Main band 10pm. Licensed bar. £2 entry. Ruskin House,Coombe Road, CRO. 020 8661 0183 • Club: Roller Disco 7pm-3am. £12.50 inc skate hire. Classic disco, funky house and r’n’b over three rooms, on wheels. Call before setting out to make sure it’s on! Canvas, Bagley’s Studios, King’s Cross Freight Depot, York Way, London N1 OUZ. 020 7833 8301. www.rollerdisco.info

Every Saturday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Dance: Bollywood Groove & Bhangra Funky and energetic dance class. Beginners and improvers welcome. Come along and bring your friends. From 12.30pm – 1.30pm. £5 a class. Free parking available. Ground Floor, Dance & Drama Studio Archbishop Lanfranc, Croydon, Surrey, CR9 3AS. Tel: 020 8776 1717 or 07932 530 370 • Games: Pool Competition From 3pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CR0. 020 8688 5674. • Games: Pool / Domino Tournaments in the afternoon - call for more details. The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Music: DJ Party Night The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Music: Jolly Farmers Live music every Saturday Jolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (on Purley Cross) 020 8660 2076 24

• Disco: 70’s & 80’s. Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Club: Saturday Night With Linton and Friends A plethora of musical carnage from the beast of butch and his followers… Dance floor fillers, cheese and sleaze. Open til stupid-o’clock in the morning. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: The Big Double Classic hits in the bar from 9pm followed by guest acts and DJs at The Edge, open til 3am. The Norbury & The Edge Nightclub. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632 • Club: Dj Andy B in the main room & Dj Randy T in surfers All drinks £1.50 7pm to 9pm Dress code: Smart casual. Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon • Club: Upstairs See ‘Every Friday’ for full details. Upstairs, above Treehouse restaurant 78 South End, CR0, 020 8688 9837 • Karaoke: Oakfield Tavern Oakfield Tavern, 166 St James Rd, CR0 2UZ. 020 8684 1743 • Music: Live Music - NEW Every Saturday. Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon

Every Sunday: • Music: Sunday Sessions The best in alternative dance and live music every Sunday: 1st Sunday of the month is red room open mic night www.myspace.com/the_room_of_red 2nd Sunday is bangers (the only hip hop night in croydon) the following Sundays are a mixture of bands and djs (check out the listings for more details) Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Jam Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 6pm. FREE! The Royal Oak, Royal Oak Centre, Brighton Road, South Croydon, www.theroyaloak.piczo.com • Music: Easy Jazz From 1.30 p.m. to about 4

what’s on Come along and listen, or play Tel: 0208 6602076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk The Jolly Farmers, on ‘Purley Cross’, Purley • Music: Open Mic Acoustic ‘ Open Mike’ night at The Jolly Farmers, Purley, every Sunday 8.45 p.m. Tel: 0208 6602076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk The Jolly Farmers, on ‘Purley Cross’, Purley • Quiz: Good Companions Quiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m. www.thegoodcompanions.com Limpsfield Road, South Croydon 0208 657 6655 • Music: Open Mic All welcome! The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Disco: Twinkle-Toes DJ Twinkle-Toes plays out your requests. 12pm-7pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Karaoke: Karaoke Madness With Jacko and Co + DJ in the bar til 1am. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632 • Club: Medusa RnB, Latino House, Soulful Garage. See Thursdays for DJ Lineup. Strictly over 21s. Dress Code ‘Ladies - Sexy, Men - Smart’. 9pm-12am. FREE before 10.30, £5 after. 3 The Arcade, 32-34 High St, CR0. 020 8686 3367. www.medusa.co.uk • Club: Disco Gold Until 1am. FREE! before 10pm. The Edge Nightclub. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632 • Club: Croydon Backgammon Club Sundays from 8PM. Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon • Quiz: Forestdale Arms Weekly music quiz. Forestdale Arms, Featherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260 • Quiz: The Crown From 8.30pm The Crown, 28 Wickham Road, Shirley, 020 8662 7801 • Karaoke: When Will I Be Famous Karaoke at the 80’s bar. 241 on Bud, Carling, VK, Reef. 8pm-12.30am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0 020 8774 5911 • Music: Folk and Blues Club From 7pm. £2 entry. Licensed bar. Call

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on Gary for further info on 01737 553493 Ruskin House, Coombe Road, CRO • Quiz: The Rail View Every Sunday from 8.30pm. The Rail View 188 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 2315 • Quiz: The Kenley Hotel From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz The Kenley Hotel, 68, Godstone Road, Kenley CR8 5AA • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Got something going on? Let us know what’s on listings are FREE! e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk call: 020 8680 3558 or: 07910 506197

what’s on

Please mention Wired when visiting venues...

Pick Of The Month • Music: Get The Blessing 19th September Formed by drummer Clive Deamer and bassist Jim Barr of ‘90s trip-hop superstars Portishead, Get The Blessing have stormed onto the scene, taking riffs and rhythms from rock and dance music and artfully welding them onto fearsomely inventive improvisation, winning rave reviews and legions of fans of all ages and tastes along the way. With trumpeter Pete Judge and saxophonist Jake McMurchie (“Where has he been!?” – Evening Standard) completing the line up, Get The Blessing’s rocking tunes and snappy arrangements create a genre-bending blend of sounds that is all their own, flirting slyly with jazz while pounding

Mon 01 September • Club: Monday Club Half price drinks until 12pm, with music from The Katie and Alex Show. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk • Music: Croydon Jazz Band Big band jazz - 1st Monday of every month Botley Hill Farmhouse, Limpsfield Road, Warlingham Surrey, CR6 9QH. Phone: 01959 577154 email: enquiries@botleyhillfarmhouse.co.uk

Tue 02 • Event: Wallop! Marvellous mixology from Anna and Ross, at The Oval Cocktail night every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023

the dancefloor with their “gloriously powerful sound” (BBC Music Magazine, 5/5).. Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thisistheblessing • Music: Ladyhawk + Panther + The Tailors 23rd September DOORS 8pm ADM £5adv Live acts: Ladyhawk + Panther + The Tailors Genre: Rock/indie Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and

www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com/event/33703 TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Music: Kok 14th September Included here because it’s so bizarre, a night of cock rock at the Glamorgan. The Glamorgan, 81 Cherry Orchard Road, East Croydon • Comedy: Tim Vine 18th September The ‘Pun-slinger’, star of the best game-show ever, ‘Whittle’ and friend of Wired comes back to his roots, sort of. Don’t miss! 7.45pm. Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indie and dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's. Doors 7pm, £1 entry. myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Quiz: The Edge Weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with cabaret from Topping and Butch + electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa Lessons Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3. The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Spoon of Music DOORS 8pm ADM £4 Event: Spoon of Music Live acts: Vinny Vinny + One Eyes Blue + Pretty Bricks + The Conscripts Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton

Wed 03 • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill 26

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... TIX: www.wegottickets.com TEL: 020 8671 0700

Thu 04 • Music: Papa George Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metal night with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursday Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

• Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Fri 05 • Music: The Awakened Frantic Promotions presents The Awakened + Achilla + The Morning After + Fear The Deceased 8pm. £3. The Brief, 48 George Street, Croydon, CR0 1PD. www.myspace.com/franticpromotions • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure

what’s on DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon,

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Achilla FRANTIC PROMOTIONS PRESENTS: Achilla/The Awakened/The Morning After/Fear The Deceased Doors 8pm, Entry £3 The Brief, 48 George Street, CR0 1PD • Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the best Indie, Pop and Alternative all night long. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole TRANSFER FROM EDINBURGH. This brand new comedy musical stars award-winning American singer Marnie Baumer, and features a multi-talented cast of actor-musicians. Music and lyrics by the co-creator of the legendary Dick Barton series, Stefan Bednarczyk, and book by Jamie Read. Directed by Elizabeth Park. Performance Times & Prices: Tuesday 6.30pm £10 (£8) Wednesday 8pm £10 (£8) Thursday 8pm £8 Friday 8pm £15 (£10) Saturday 8pm £15 Sunday Matinee 5pm £10 (£8) Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060

Sat 06 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: DJ Rob Delta playing a gargantuan mix of 60s + 70s soul, blues, rock, funk, jazz, latin, psychedelia, reggae & ska every 1st Saturday of the month. 8pm. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat

Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Glen Barnes Live music at theSurrey Cricketers. The Surrey Cricketers, 23 West Street, Croydon • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 • Music: Acts tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. 9.45pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com 28

• Club: Class of 99 Old Skool Garage - Club Classics Funky House - Dancers - Free Giveaways - Photographers Wherever you learnt your ways on the dancefloor, 2000BC Promotions and Loop Pool Bar are once again reviving that moment with a massive back to the old skool event. Class of '99 is a trip back to the days when old skool garage and club classics took centre stage. We also inject an element of funky house to keep you on the dancefloor until 2009! DJs Pied Piper, Steve Feelgood, Andy G, DJ Roy C. Live PA: Jamieson feat. Angel Blue "True" The classic garage anthem Is this your Birthday? If you are celebrating a birthday or an event, get in touch & see what the team can do for you Admission 9pm until 3am Admission: Limited £8 advance tickets, then £10 Strictly age 20 years or more for gents, and age 18 years or more for ladies Tickets; For advance tickets contact Blake on 07743 518 649 or buy direct from Loop Pool Bar More info: Email info@2000bcpromotions.co.uk Dress code: Flirtatious RSVP on Facebook. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Sun 07 • Event: 30th Anniversary of Keith Moon’s Death We don’t normally put stuff like this in, but it’s Keith Moon: ‘patent British exploding drummer’, so take time out today to drive a car into a swimming pool. • Music: Live Jazz Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk for details The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm.

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Sundays Live music every Sunday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Live Acoustic NEW! Live Acoustic Music every Sunday from 5.30pm - 7.00pm for more info visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG 020 8726 0080 • Music: Big Gilson Brazilian Blues Guitarist on tour, stopping to play the Oval. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: Red Dress Productions Presents Rock and Roll Dance Night Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Cloud 9 Uplifting Funky Electro House Forget the chilled out Sundays. Loop is here to provide you with unrelenting partying throughout the week, and Sundays is no exception. Admission Free admission 9pm until 1am Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Music: My Friends Kill My Folks DOORS 8pm ADM £3 Event: My Friends Kill My Folks Live Acts: Pocus Whiteface + KTD + Jack Mountain + Superman Revenge Squad Genres: Post-punk/Anti-folk Age Limit: Over 18s Only

Mon 08 • Club: Monday Club Half price drinks until 12pm, with music from The Katie and Alex Show. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. 29

VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton TIX: on the door TEL: 020 8671 0700

Tue 09 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indie and dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's. Doors 7pm, £1 entry. myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies.

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Dance: Morris Dancing Alternate Tuesdays from 8pm. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon

Wed 10 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Gay Wednesday Croydon's Gay Alternative featuring cheese, sleaze and dancefloor smashes from DJ Linton. Doors 8pm, £2 after 9pm. Happy hour bar until 10pm.. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa Lessons Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3. The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon

Thu 11 • Music: Shakey Vic’s Waydown Band London blues patriarch leads great Chicago sound. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metal night with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursday Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8. Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon. 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, 30

South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 12 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the best Indie, Pop and Alternative all night long. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. Check website for details. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Backstreets VII DOORS 8pm ADM £4 adv Event: Backstreets VII Live acts: The New York Fund + White Russians + Rock City City + Dexy Genre: alt,country/indie Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com/event/35127 TEL: 020 8671 0700

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: 1965 Records presents: The Windmill of Your Mind DOORS 8pm ADM £5 Event: 1965 Records presents: The Windmill of Your Mind Live Acts: The Hugs + The Brian Jacket Letdown + Onlookers + The Sixtyones DJs: ‘65 Soundystem + Davey van der

Sat 13 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 31

what’s on Mulk (The Palpitations) Genre: indie Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. 9.45pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Secret Society Secret Society brings you a night of pure musical entertainment. We are please to present: World famous International DJ/Producer Matt Jam Lamont (Exclusive set). Flying in direct from Decadance in Dubai for a exclusive set for Secret Society is International DJ/Producer Richie Kidd (Exclusive Set) Lifted's Dean Jon and Society's Tony Parsons both DJs at the top of their game on the London underground scene! City of London favourite DJ Nick Collins Secret Society Resident and DJ Nico (BPN) South Londons finest! International percussion/bongos from Chris Marshal. Professional dancer Mimi Champroniere and Night Owl Entertainment. Professional photography from UK favourite Martin MCoy from Headturners/Clubshots, As always a strict VIP area. (Discression assured and no flash photography.) Advance tickets are now on sale! Please note: Tickets are sold on a first come first served basis. Admission 9pm until 3am Admission: £12 before midnight (limited entry). £15 after midnight. Advance tickets and more info: Gary 0773 541 0050 or secret.society@live.co.uk Dress code: SmartLoop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN

RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com

Sun 14 • Music: Steve Matthews and The Razers Sharp harmonica with line-up featuring Neil Cowley. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk for details The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Sundays Live music every Sunday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Live Acoustic NEW! Live Acoustic Music every Sunday from 5.30pm - 7.00pm for more info visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com 32

Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG 020 8726 0080 • Music: Kok A night of cock rock at the Glamorgan. The Glamorgan, 81 Cherry Orchard Road, East Croydon • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Bangers South London's Bo-est Live Hip Hop & Open Mic Cypher. Hosted by Oliver Sudden feat DJs Al Mighty & Blue Movies on the record players and lots of rapping and breakdancing and drawing and stuff. Doors 7pm, £2 all night Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Cloud 9 Uplifting Funky Electro House Forget the chilled out Sundays. Loop is here to provide you with unrelenting partying throughout the week, and Sundays is no exception. Admission Free admission 9pm until 1am Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Mon 15 • Club: Monday Club Half price drinks until 12pm, with music from The Katie and Alex Show. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060

Tue 16 • Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indie and dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's. Doors 7pm, £1 entry. myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 17 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Gay Wednesday Croydon's Gay Alternative featuring cheese, sleaze and dancefloor smashes

from DJ Linton. Doors 8pm, £2 after 9pm. Happy hour bar until 10pm.. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa Lessons Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3. The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon

Thu 18 • Music: Groanbox Boys Blues and bluegrass from this US touring trio. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Comedy: Tim Vine The ‘Pun-slinger’, star of the best gameshow ever, ‘Whittle’ and friend of Wired comes back to his roots, sort of. Don’t miss! 7.45pm. Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metal night with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursday Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar 33

what’s on • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8. Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon. 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE!

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 19 • Music: Get The Blessing Formed by drummer Clive Deamer and bassist Jim Barr of ‘90s trip-hop superstars Portishead, Get The Blessing have stormed onto the scene, taking riffs and rhythms from rock and dance music and artfully welding them onto fearsomely inventive improvisation, winning rave reviews and legions of fans of all ages and tastes along the way. With trumpeter Pete Judge and saxophonist Jake McMurchie (“Where has he been!?” – Evening Standard) completing the line up, Get The Blessing’s rocking tunes and snappy arrangements create a genre-bending blend of sounds that is all their own, flirting slyly with jazz while pounding the dancefloor with their “gloriously powerful sound” (BBC Music Magazine, 5/5).. Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thisistheblessing • Music: Shivery FRANTIC PROMOTIONS PRESENTS: Shivery/ Valhalla/ Kitty Lipps Doors 8pm, Entry £3 The Brief, 48 George Street, CR0 1PD • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the best Indie, Pop and Alternative all night long. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

• Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. Check website for details. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 20 • Music: Payback FRANTIC PROMOTIONS PRESENTS: PAYBACK - funk soul band Doors 8pm, Entry TBC The Brief, 48 George Street, CR0 1PD • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon 34

what’s on www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. 9.45pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Club: Project House Soulful and funky vibes. Conf1rmedevents.com proudly present Project House. A collection of our resident House DJ's from radio and club land fused together with special Guest D's and MCs guaranteed to bring you a vibe that is truly second to none! Free CD giveaways and photographer DJ Line Up: AltonBad, TonyBee, Shane Blitz, MC Blessman See you on the dancefloor! Admission 9.30pm until 3am Admission fee: £3, Ladies free before 11pm Guest list and more info: Call 07804 414 007 or 07828 432 983 email Project.House@hotmail.co.uk Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on...

Sun 21 • Music: Sons of the Delta Authentic Delta blues - jus how many guitars??? Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk for details The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Sundays Live music every Sunday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Live Acoustic NEW! Live Acoustic Music every Sunday from 5.30pm - 7.00pm for more info visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG 020 8726 0080 • Theatre: Miss Sign-On: The Untold Story of a Diva on the Dole See Friday 5th Sept for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: Showtime at The Sheep the best live music featuring Teddy Bears’ Picnic, The Blow Ups, The Lucky Scars, The Telegrams and Thwak. Doors 7pm, £4 entry. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

• Club: Cloud 9 Uplifting Funky Electro House Forget the chilled out Sundays. Loop is here to provide you with unrelenting partying throughout the week, and Sundays is no exception. Admission Free admission 9pm until 1am Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Mon 22 • Club: Monday Club Half price drinks until 12pm, with music from The Katie and Alex Show. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 23 • Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indie and dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's. Doors 7pm, £1 entry. myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Ladyhawk + Panther + The Tailors DOORS 8pm ADM £5adv Live acts: Ladyhawk + Panther + The Tailors Genre: Rock/indie Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com/event/33703 35

TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Dance: Morris Dancing Alternate Tuesdays from 8pm. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon

Wed 24 • Club: Gay Wednesday Croydon's Gay Alternative featuring cheese, sleaze and dancefloor smashes from DJ Linton. Doors 8pm, £2 after 9pm. Happy hour bar until 10pm.. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa Lessons Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3. The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Theatre: Another Kind of Silence by Liz Rothchild TRANSFER FROM EDINBURGH. A new play about the marine biologist and nature writer, Rachel Carson and performed with steely gusto and control by Liz Rothchild, the production revisits the life and times of this remarkable woman. Directed by Sue Mayo. Performance Times & Prices: Tuesday 6.30pm £10 (£8) Wednesday 8pm £10 (£8)

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Thursday 8pm £8 Friday 8pm £15 (£10) Saturday 8pm £15 Sunday Matinee 5pm £10 (£8). Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Music: Let Our Enemies Beware + And SO I Watch You From Afar + Hooray for Humans + Lonely Joe Parker DOORS 8pm ADM £4 adv Live acts: Let Our Enemies Beware + And SO I Watch You From Afar + Hooray For Humans + Lonely Joe Parker Genre: Future rock, electro pop Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon

Thu 25 • Music: Live Blues Acts tbc. Check myspace for details or pick up a flier from the pub. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Theatre: Another Kind of Silence See Wednesday 24th September for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metal night with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursday Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

• Music: The Bank Holidays HDIF Presents: The Bank Holidays/Help Stamp Out Loneliness/The Mai 68s/Hissing At Swans. The Bank Holidays: A four piece from Perth, Australia, The Bank Holidays are rising stars down under - they won a Western Australian Music Industry Award for Best Indie Pop Group in 2007, have duetted with Peter, Bjorn And John, and played shows with everyone from Belle & Sebastian to The Lucksmiths. Musically, they've been compared to The Shins and The Go-Betweens, and we can't quite believe they're playing our free admission night! www.myspace.com/ thebankholidays Help Stamp Out Loneliness: Debut UK show for this amazing new band from Manchester. Featuring Colm and Bentley from indie popsters Language Of Flowers, HSOL - named after a Nancy Sinatra song, of course - are, in their own words, "a lounge-gaze-krautpop band". We hear Yo La Tengo, Stereolab, and St Etienne in their swoonsome songs. www.myspace.com/ helpstampoutloneliness The Mai 68s: Noise! Revolutionary chic! A stand up drummer! If Laetitia Sadier had fronted early Jesus And Mary Chain, they may have sounded a little like this Leicester foursome - ear-splitting yet full of poise, chaotic yet cool. www.myspace.com/themai68s Hissing At Swans: call themselves "a ramshakle ukelele and 80's keyboard demo collective from Essex/East London" - which means they're a female duo in thrall to Magnetic Fields and Moldy Peaches who approach gigs as if they're art installations. Expect homemade films and lots of off-kilter charm. www.myspace.com/hissingatswans Doors 7.30pm Hissing At Swans 8pm The Mai 68s 8.45pm Help Stamp Out Loneliness 9.30pm The Bank Holidays 10.15pm DJs: Alex and Kevin (Tweet Tweet) Frankie (Team Tooting) www.howdoesitfeel.co.uk/hdiflabel.html Jamm, 261 Brixton Road, SW9 6LH, 7.30pm, FREE admission • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the 36

what’s on month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8. Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon. 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on...

Fri 26

Sat 27

• Theatre: Another Kind of Silence See Wednesday 24th September for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the best Indie, Pop and Alternative all night long. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. Check website for details. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

• Theatre: Another Kind of Silence See Wednesday 24th September for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060 • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. 9.45pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE 37

B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com

Sun 28 • Music: Live Blues Acts tbc. Check myspace for details or pick up a flier from the pub. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk for details The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Sundays Live music every Sunday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Live Acoustic NEW! Live Acoustic Music every Sunday from 5.30pm - 7.00pm for more info visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG 020 8726 0080 • Theatre: Another Kind of Silence See Wednesday 24th September for details. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road Croydon CR0 2NF (adjacent East Croydon interchange) 020 8680 4060

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... • Club: Cloud 9 Uplifting Funky Electro House Forget the chilled out Sundays. Loop is here to provide you with unrelenting partying throughout the week, and Sundays is no exception. Admission Free admission 9pm until 1am Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: Live at The Sheep Live Bands TBC, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Cloud 9 Uplifting Funky Electro House Forget the chilled out Sundays. Loop is here to provide you with unrelenting partying throughout the week, and Sundays is no exception. Admission Free admission 9pm until 1am Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Mon 29 • Club: Monday Club Half price drinks until 12pm, with music from The Katie and Alex Show. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 30 • Club: Common People cheap drinks till 11pm with pure Indie and dancefloor tunes from The Spiv's. Doors 7pm, £1 entry. myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233.

www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: It Hugs Back + Rod Thomas + The Peryls DOORS 8pm ADM £5 Age Limit: Over 18s Only VENUE: Windmill Brixton, 22 Blenheim Gardens, London SW2 5BZ NEAREST TUBE: Brixton WEB: www.windmillbrixton.co.uk and www.myspace.com/windmillbrixton ADVANCE TIX: www.wegottickets.com/event/33407 TEL: 020 8671 0700 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wednesday 01 October • Club: Gay Wednesday Croydon's Gay Alternative featuring cheese, sleaze and dancefloor smashes from DJ Linton. Doors 8pm, £2 after 9pm. Happy hour bar until 10pm.. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa Lessons Every Wednesday from 8pm. £3. The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 38

www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon

Thu 02 • Club: ALT X South London's biggest rock and metal night with DJ Tony X. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm www.blacksheepbar.com/thursday Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8. Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon. 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 03 • Club: WTF with DJ Zoe Urchin serving up the best Indie, Pop and Alternative all night long. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ

020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. Check website for details. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sat 04 • Music: Acts tbc Live music every Friday and Saturday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 • Music: Act tbc Live music at the JollyFarmers. 9.45pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, 39

DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com

Sun 05 • Music: Live Blues Acts tbc. Check myspace for details or pick up a flier from the pub. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk for details The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Sundays Live music every Sunday The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Music: Live Acoustic NEW! Live Acoustic Music every Sunday from 5.30pm - 7.00pm for more info visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com Half and Half Lounge Bar, 282 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NG 020 8726 0080

pubs, clubs & bars • Addington Village Inn Beer garden, parking, big screen, food: 12-8pm. 36 Addington Village Rd, Addington, CR0 01689 842057 • All Bar One 2 floors. Decent food all day. Fiendish German beers. Dress code Fri/Sat: smart casual. 10 Park Lane, CR0. 020 8686 1033 • Alma Tavern - DS Beer garden at rear, patio out front, parking, 4 tvs & big screen, kids welcome til 8pm, live music at weekends - see ‘what’s on’, pool table (FREE pool on Mondays), darts and a cashpoint. Food: 12-3pm MonFri. 129 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0, 020 8654 5842. • Arkwrights Wheel - DS Decent sized boozer, pool table, screen for sports, food 12-8pm. Karaoke every Thursday. 151 North End, CR0 020 8649 8638 • Bar R - DS Large friendly open fronted bar with sofas, big screen. Tuesdays: Pop quiz. Thu: General knowledge quiz. Fri and Sat: DJ playing funky house & garage. Sun: Open mic. Thai food served every day 12pm-3pm & 6pm-10pm. No dress code. 73 South End, CR0 020 8667 1308 • Bar Red Square - DS Stylish, light & friendly bar with outside seating. Happy hour 3pm-12am Monday-Saturday: Buy One Get One Free on Smirnoff, Kronenbourg and Wine. DJs at weekends. Dress code: Smart casual - smart trainers ok. 63-65 High St, CR0 020 8688 1020 • Bedford Tavern - DS Large patio garden out front, pool table, bar billiards, tv inside, regular bbqs on the patio. 16 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584 • Beehive - DS Large boozer with massive beer garden, right on the green. 47 Woodside Green, South Norwood, SE25 5HQ. 020 8662 1941 • Bird in Hand - DS Croydon’s longest serving gay/mixed pub. 2 bars & beer

garden, pool table, large screen tv and function room for hire. Fri: DJ Rita. Sat & Sun: DJ Ma Meacham. First Sat of every month is ‘Birds in the Back Bar’ ladies only night in the 2nd bar. 291 Sydenham Rd, CR0. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.info • Bishops Wine Bar Only sell wine. Homemade food served between 12pm and 2.30pm. Opening times subject to change. 1129 Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8681 7340 Mon-Sat: 11.30am-4.45pm Closed Sunday. • Black Sheep Bar - DS Possibly Croydon’s most progressive venue. See what’s on for night details. 68 High St, CR0 1NA. 020 8680 2233 www.blacksheepbar.com • Bricklayers Arms - DS 237 High Street Beckenham • Brief - DS Decent boozer with screens showing music videos/freeview, Dress code at weekends - smart casual, no headwear. Door charge at weekends. 48 George St, CR0. 020 8686 6878 • Builders Arms - DS Friendly Fullers pub with conservatory restaurant area, 2 bars, one with 2 tvs. Board games available. General knowledge quiz night every Tuesday from 9pm. Live music last Friday of every month. Large, grassy, pleasant beer garden out back with nice seating, giant Connect 4, giant Jenga and giant skittles, Over 18s only. 65 Leslie Park Rd, CR0 6TP. 020 8654 1803 • Bulls Head - DS Small friendly local. Recently refurbed and under new management. All sports & Setanta sports shown. Real ales Bar food mon-fri: 12-4pm. 39 Laud St, CR0 020 8760 0150 • Carbon - DS Cocktails, lounge bar, indian food, chill-out, ambient, funky music. Wi-fi zone.. Mon-Sat: 12pm-3pm, 5pm12,30am 90 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1ND, 020 8688 0889 www.myspace.com/carbonbbq

DS indicates DEEP Stockist!

• Claret Free House Real ale bar. 5a Bingham Corner, Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0 7AA 020 8656 7452 • Coombe Lodge Large pub/restaurant with enormous beer garden, conservatory and outdoor dining as well as posh dining room. Food served all day. Also a Travel Inn with rooms around £60. 104 Coombe Rd, CR0 020 8686 2030 • Crescent Arms 323 Whitehorse Road, CR0. 020 8684 2310 • Cricketers - DS Good food, screens for sports, huge garden, pool table. 47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER 020 8655 3507 • Cricketers Pub grub served weekdays 123.30 and Sunday Roast served Sundays 12 ‘til they run out! 107 Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8662 1921 • Croham Arms - DS Croham Rd, CR2 020 8688 7356. • Crown Inn - DS Massive pub with beer garden, parking etc. Good food and weekly quiz nights. 28 Wickham Rd, Shirley, CR0 020 8662 7801 • Crown and Anchor - DS 19 Park Road, Bromley • Crown & Pepper - DS Friendly staff and punters, large pub, nice beer garden / patio at the back heated and lit smoking area, conservatory dining area, car park, sofas, wide range of bottled beers, shots and good food. Dinner table reservations available. 242 High St, CR0 1NF. 020 8688 7507 • Crown and Sceptre - DS Small friendly local with outside seating, parking, screen for sports and top food served Mon-Thu 12-9pm, Fri-Sun + bank Hols: 12-6pm 32 Junction Road, CR2. 020 8688 8037 • Davy’s Wine Vaults - DS Intimate underground wine bar, tucked away in North End. Big screen, comfy sofas and booths. Excellent selection of wines. Quiz night first Weds of every month at 7.30pm, Salsa classes

and intermediate every Sat. Quality food served everyday 11am-10pm. 122 North End, CR0, 020 8680 2419 • Dog and Bull - DS The Dog comes into its own as the sun arrives - the best beer garden in Croydon, with alfresco bar and bbq. Brilliant. 24 Surrey St, CR0. 020 8688 3664 • Drum and Monkey 7 Gloucester Rd, CR0 • Duke of Cambridge Small pub, popular with footie fans on matchdays. 7 Holmesdale Rd, CR0 2LR 020 8665 6440 • Duke of Gloucester 258 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EB. 020 8684 3971 • Eagle - DS Under new management. 52 Tamworth Road (Reeves Corner), 020 8686 7474 • E-Bar - DS Happy Hour every day 4.30pm-7pm - £1.50 selected lines. Free Venue Hire. 20 South End, CR0 020 8681 0573 Mon-Wed: 4.30pm-11pm Thu: 4.30pm-1am Fri-Sat: 4.30pm-2am • Earl of Eldon - DS All sports shown, big screen, beer garden, occasional live music. Sunday lunches served 12-4.30pm. 63 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8688 1473 • Edge - DS Under New Management. Beer garden, wednesday quiz night. Weekday food 12-3pm. Live music from rock riot promotions www.myspace.com/ rockriotpromo 1 South End, CR0. 020 8774 9933 • Elliott’s - DS Food served Mon-Fri 122.30pm. Function room, 42” plasma screen for sports. Occasional Karaoke. Weds: Fun Blackjack (£1 entry) and Salsa classes from 8pm. 5 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8668 3361 • Fairfield Tavern - DS Only open to theatre-goers. Fairfield Halls, CR0

pubs, clubs & bars • First Base City Limits, The Colonnades, Purley Way • Fishermans Arms 78 Windmill Rd, CR0 2XP 020 8689 7887 • Folly - DS Large and airy split level pub with pool table, outside patio, big screen, comfy seats. Food served 12-6pm every day. Happy hour 4-8pm every day. DJs from 8pm every Sunday. 13-15 Selsdon Rd, CR2. 020 8688 3920 • Forestdale Arms New food menu, massive smoking tent, karaoke Fridays, quiz on Saturday lunch times. Cricket/ football net. Featherbed Lane, CR0 020 8651 1260 • Fountainhead Large pub with large grassy beer garden, kiddie’s slide and, as far as we’re aware, it still has a ‘swingball’ out there too. 114 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 4025 • Fox Pub and restaurant with enormous beer garden set pretty much in the countryside. Nice food last time we visited. Coulsdon Common, Coulsdon, CR3 01883 330401 • Foxley Hatch 8-9 Russell Hill Rd, Purley, CR8. 020 8763 9307 • Freelands Tavern - DS 31 Freelands Road, Bromley • George - DS Wetherspoons pub with cheap beer offers running constantly, large restaurant at rear with no smoking area and disabled access. 17-21 George St, CR0 020 8649 2944 • George Outside courtyard, inside screens for sport, live music, quizzes and karaoke occasionally. Bar food available all day. 132 Canterbury Rd, CR0 020 8689 7911 • Gipsy Moth - DS Massive boozer - kiddies play area, car park, screens etc. Unit 7, The Colonnades, 619 Purley Way, CR0 4RJ 020 8686 8923 • Glamorgan - DS Top quality food in friendly gastro-pub surroundings. beer garden, pool table, big screens for sport (not football). South

artist's work for sale. Food served 12-9 daily. Mon-Thurs 12-12 Fri -Sat 12-1 Sun -12-10.30 58-60 High St, CR0 1NA 020 8667 0684 Mon-Thu: 12pm-12 midnight Fri/Sat: 12pm-1am Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Gun Tavern - DS Live music venue as well as a friendly boozer. Pool tables, Sky on big screen TV. Church St, CR0 1RN. 020 8667 1472 • Gypsy Tavern Wine bar. 12 Station Rd, CR0 020 8688 6750 • Half and Half The perfect place to chill- out, with cosy sofas, eclectic tunes, basement area for business meetings, private parties, meet up with work colleagues or friends very friendly and relaxed. Visit www.halfandhalf.uk.com for more info and discounts! 282 High St, CR0 1NG 020 8726 0080 www.halfandhalf.uk.com • Hare and Hounds 325 Purley Way, CR0 020 8688 0420 • Harvest Home 27 Beddington Lane, CR0 020 8688 0813 • Horseshoe Beer garden, pool table and screens for sport. Live music/quiz/karaoke occasionally on Fri-Sun. Kids welcome until 6pm. Food derved 12-2pm and 5-8pm. 745 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7, 020 8665 6305 • Hub New club 80-88 High St, CR0 020 8680 5500 • Hustler Club Croydon’s newest (and only) table dancing club. 8pm-3am 12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon, 020 8633 1621 www.hustlerclubuk.com • Jack and Jill Longlands Ave, Coulsdon, CR5 • Jolly Farmers - DS Good beers and ales, and coffees, with home cooked foods served at lunchtimes. (No TV screens inside) Seating areas to the front and side, with car parking to the rear. Live music on Fridays (rock/blues band night), Saturdays (mixed bands and singers) and Sundays (great ‘open Mic’ nights with

African ‘Bunny Chow’ a speciality. 81 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0 020 8688 6333 • Golden Lion 144 Stanley Rd, CR0 3QB 020 8684 1395 • Good Companion Family friendly pub on the southern edge of South Croydon, on the Limpsfield Road. Main Bar: large screen TV and additional screens showing all major sports, pool table/darts. Live music and DJ nights (Includes established ‘Open Mic’ night on Thursdays, but see the web site for details of all events). Non smoking Lounge Bar and large Restaurant. Home prepared foods inc. kids options available from 12 daily. Special menu on Sundays includes a choice of roasts and other meal options (booking is recommended on Sundays). Very large family gardens. Car Parking for 60 cars. Private weddings, functions and parties catered for. ( no room hire charges ). Open until 11.30p.m. weekdays and Midnight on Fridays and Saturdays Limpsfield Road, South Croydon. Tel: 0208 657 6655. www.thegoodcompanions.com • Goose on the Market DS Huge boozer with an eclectic age range of punters, eyewateringly low prices and friendly staff. 1 Surrey St, CR0 1RG 020 8688 4798 • Granaries 6 Overtons Yard, 020 8667 1000 • Grange Beer garden, screens for sport, pool table. Bar food available every day, occasional live music, quiz, karaoke. 21 Norbury Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 3783 • Green Dragon - DS 2 pool tables, sports screens, hire-able upstairs bar. Live music Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Sundays; Djs at the weekend. Quality Ales and Proper Food (big Sunday Roast and lots for veggies); table service. Thursday Quiz, Sunday Pub Games night, a BookSwap scheme and local

different hosts every week) See the Web site for details www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk 7 High Street Purley, Tel 0208 660 2076 • Lion Inn Beer garden, pool table, darts, screens for sport. Karaoke Saturday nights. Main and evening menu, bar snacks all day. 182 Padsons Rd, CR0 020 8684 2978 • Lord Napier Renowned Thornton Heath boozer noted for its quality live jazz music. 111 Beulah Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Loop - DS “Loop is a members-only, award winning (Best New Late Night Venue - Theme), stylishly designed club with, impressive cocktail bar, american pool tables and some of Londons top DJs.” Dress Code varies, check each listing in what’s on. DJs from 9pm. General Enquiries: 020 8760 7000 www.looppoolbar.com 12 Crown Hill, CR0 • Man on the Moon 112 Headley Drive, New Addington, CR0 0QF 01689 847550 • Milan Bar / Lloyds - DS Hugely popular bar over two floors. Relatively cheap booze. Food served throughout the day until 30mins before closing. Screens showing music videos, 70’s 80’s 90’s night every Thursday from 8pm. DJ’s at weekends Dress code: Smart casual - no hats or trainers. 1432 High St, CR0, 020 8603 0870 • New Inn 148 Mitcham Rd, CR0 020 8665 1440 • Newton Arms 175 Queens Rd, CR0 020 8684 1654 • Nowhere Inn Particular Beer garden (kids allowed in garden only). DJ Saturday nights, Friday - curry and a pint for £5.50. Sunday roast £4.95. 78 Sumner Rd, CR0 020 8681 8898 • Norbury - DS Incorporating The Edge nightclub. Sports bar with 3 big screens and pool tables. Outside seating area. 1300 London Road, Norbury. SW16 4DG. 020 8679 0632

• Oakfield Tavern - DS Beer garden. Entertainment throughout the week. New traditional home-cooked food served 12-6pm every day. 166 St James Rd, CR0 2UZ. 020 8684 1743 • Old Derby - DS Screens for sport, pool table, darts, benches outside at front. Quiz every 3/4 weeks, live bands and karaoke every two weeks. DJ Twinkletoes every Frdiay and Sunday. Lunch menu served 11am-2.30pm and a diferent meal every night for £1.50. 44 Pitlake, CR0 020 8688 5674 • Old Fox and Hounds Thai food served Mon-Sat: 123pm. Beer garden, pool table, big screen sport, house doubles at £2, function room available. 1 London Rd, CR0 • Orchard - DS Large pub with pool table, darts, big screen, beer garden with kids play-area. 112 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0 020 8688 3682 • Oval - DS One of our favourite pubs. Brilliantly friendly. Pool table, great beer garden. Real Ales. Food served between 12-3pm every day and 6-9pm Fridays new menu and bar menu (nachos, calamari, potato skins etc). Sunday Roast (2 choices + vege) 12.30-3.30pm. BBQs in summer (available to hire - call for details). Pool competition every Thurs, DJs Fri/Sat, monthly quiz night and live blues (see what’s on for details). 131 Oval Rd, CR0 020 8686 6023 • Parchmore Tavern 82 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8771 3816 • Padson’s Arms Beer garden, screens for sport and kids welcome until 7pm. 69 Padsons Rd, CR0 2QA 020 8684 2378 • Pitlake Arms 73a Waddon New Rd, CR0 1XD 020 8688 0428 • Pistols - DS 208-210 BrightonRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2NF • Plough and Harrow 774 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7151 • Plough Inn Croydon Rd, The Broadway, CR0 4QR. 020 8647 1122

pubs, clubs & bars

• Porter and Sorter - DS The Editor’s local, friendly and lively. Table service, good food new menu including sarnies and wraps as well as main meals. Dining area at rear, 7 different real ales, drinks offers, no smoking area, outside seating, 3 screens. A top boozer! 1 Billinton Hill (formerly Station Rd), CR0, 020 8688 4296 • Prince George 2 High St, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8239 0029 • Purley Arms - DS Outside patio, big screen, cashpoint inside. Food served Mon-Fri: 12pm-7pm Saturday: 12-5pm Sunday: 1pm-5pm. 345 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8686 3792 Mon-Wed: 12pm-11pm Thu-Sat: 12pm-12am Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Railview - DS Under New Management. Beer Garden, Darts, Sky Sports, Parking. Sunday Lunch 1-5pm. 11am-11pm Sun-Thu, 11am-12am Sat/Sun 188 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 2315 • Railway Telegraph 19 Brigstock Rd, Thornton Heath • Randall Tavern Fieldway, New Addington, CR0 9DX, 01869 841476 • Rectory - DS Huge barracuda pub in Purley. Loads of seating, booths, wooden floors etc. Pay car park at rear. Food served 12-10pm. 908-912 Brighton Rd, Purley, CR8 2LN. 020 8660 6396 • Red Deer - DS Massive pub in South Croydon with 2 bars, pool table, 2 big screens + 6 smaller ones for sport. Car park. Cash Point. Food all day every day and large function room available for hire - call for details. Reasonably priced drinks. Quiz night once every two weeks - call for details. 279 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8760 0131 Mon-Thu: 12-11pm Fri-Sat: 12pm-12am Sun: 12-10.30pm • Reform Tavern 69 Osbourne Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 020 8653 9991 • Rileys American Pool and Snooker Club 63 Frith Road, CR0

020 8649 7788 Wandle Road, CR0 020 8686 1999 • Royal Oak - DS Royal Oak Centre, Brighton Rd, Purley, CR8 • Royal Standard - DS Small, friendly Fullers pub with beer garden over the road. Food served Mon-Fri: 122.30pm. Dart board. No music. Rugby pub! 1 Sheldon St, CR0 1SS 020 8688 9749 • Saints and Sinners Pleasant little pub with small beer patio. 482 London Rd, CR0. 020 8689 3713 • Sandrock Hotel - DS Restaurant/pub - patio out the back, parking, food served Mon-Sat 12-2.30pm and 5.308pm. Sun: 12-5pm. Music/gen knowledge quiz, every Tuesday from 8.30pm. Monthly live music (phone for date/details). Upper Shirley Rd, CR0 . 020 8662 1931 • Selhurst Arms Large Palace pub with 2 bars, big screen, pool table, beer garden /patio, car park. Selhurst Rd, SE25 • Ship - DS Institutional alternative pub. Food Mon-Sat: 12-7pm, Sun: 12.30-3pm. 47 High St, CR0. 020 8688 2810 www.theship.org • Ship of Fools Wetherspoons outfit. 9-11 London Rd, CR0 020 8681 2835 • Shirley Inn - DS Compact pub with beer garden, parking, pool table, darts, 4 screens inc big one. Steak-out menu available Mon-Sat 126.30pm and Sun 12-2.30pm. Karaoke on some Thursdays, and Entertainment on Saturdays (phone for dates and details). 158 Wickham Rd, CR0. 020 8654 1362 • Sir Julian Huxley 152-154 Addington Rd, Selsdon, CR2. 020 8657 9457 • Skylark Large pub spread over two floors. 34 South End, CR0 1DP. 020 8649 9909 • Smugglers Inn 320 Chipstead Valley Rd,

Coulsdon. 020 8657 9457 • Spread Eagle - DS Extensive traditional pub menu served 12-9pm Mon-Sat and 12-5pm Sunday. Real Ales, Cask Conditioned ales. Outside seating. Sky big screen downstairs, plasma screen upstairs. Function room for hire with buffets available. 39 High St, CR0 1QD 020 8781 1134 • Stag 234-236 Addington Rd, Selsdon, 020 8657 6265 • Stag and Hounds - DS Local pub with beer garden. Friendly atmos. Home cooked food every Friday 11am-3pm. 26 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 1908 • Star 101 Southbridge Rd, CR0. 020 8688 2638 • Surprise Inn - DS Karaoke every Sunday evening from 5.30 until closing. 107 Upper Shirley Rd, CR0. 020 8656 6820 • Surrey Cricketers - DS Friendly, triangular shaped pub, seats outside, pool table, screens, darts. 23 West St, CR0 020 8288 1781 • Suzy Q’s Pool / Snooker club. 31 Imperial Way, Purley Way, CR0 4RR. Telephone 020 8688 3479. Pool and Snooker club • Swan and Sugarloaf - DS Large pub with parking, screen for sports, pool table and darts. Function room for hire. B&B (room only £20pppn). 1 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8686 2562 020 8688 7888 • Thomas Farley 61 High St, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7975 • Tiger Tiger - DS 6 bars, a restaurant: modern classic food and a club spread over 2 floors. Happy hour 57.30pm. Dress Code: Smart casual, collared shirts, no trainers. 16 Grant’s Building, High St, CR0. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk • Tudor Rose Coulsdon Rd, Coulsdon, CR5 01737 553368 • Two Brewers - DS Pleasant little Shepherd Neame pub with tables outside, screens

pubs / clubs / bars / restaurants for sport, darts. Gets busy with footie fans as it’s on the way to Selhurst Park, but still manages to stay friendly and welcoming. 221 Gloucester Rd, CR0. 020 8684 3544 • Upstairs Gorgeous, grown-up, intimate club.Thursday - Simply Salsa. Friday & Saturday Club nights with DJ's including Louis from Choice FM. Guest list and venue hire available, please contact 020 8688 9837 for details. www.treehousepeople.com 78 South End, CR0. 020 8688 9837 • Victoria Cross 228 Bensham Lane, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8684 3022 • Vintage 34 Surrey Street, Croydon CR0 1RJ 020 8686 5600 www.vintage-bar.com • Walkabout - DS Large and lively Aussie boozer. Club attached, (open Fri/Sat). Live bands and DJs through the week. Large portions of food (inc. crocodile & kangaroo) served until 1 hour before closing. 2 big screens for sport, loads of seating and comfy sofas. Dress code: smart casual no trainers. 12 Crown Hill, CR0 1RZ. 020 8680 5559 mail: croydon@walkabout.eu.com for birthdays special occasions and guest list. • Welcome Inn 300 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 • Wheatsheaf Large and allegedly haunted boozer on Thornton Heath Pond. 759 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7161 • Wheelwrights Arms - DS 126 Southbridge Rd, CR0. • Windmill - DS Friendly local with large grassy beer garden and big screen. Food served Mon-Sat 12pm2.30pm and Sunday 1pm-5pm. Quiz night at the end of every month - phone for details. 224 St James Rd, CR0 2BW. 020 8684 2272. Mon-Sat: 11am11pm. Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Windsor Castle - DS

• Boulevard - DS Restaurant, bar, cafe. 7-8 Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Rd, South Croy. CR2. 020 8649 9990

(Toby Carvery and Innkeepers Lodge) Pub, restaurant, hotel. Car park. Garden & patio. Food served 12pm-9.30pm, set menu and carvery. 415 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8680 4559 • Woodman - DS Small and friendly pub with beer garden at back, outside seating at front and screen for sports. Unusual and interesting ceiling decor. 36 Upland Rd, CR2 020 8688 4725 • Yates’s Wine Lodge - DS New and vastly improved, friendly, relaxed and with pool hall upstairs. 3-11 High St, CR0 020 8681 8219 • Ye Olde Clock Tower 35 Whitehorse Road, CR0 020 8684 0288

• Chateau Napolean Upmarket French cuisine Coombe Wood Hs, Coombe Lane, 020 8686 1244, 020 8680 6027 • Little Bay French/Italian/English. Small intimate restaurant. 32 Selsdon Rd, CR2. 020 8649 9544 • Rayon D’Or French/Italian/English. Face painting for kids on Sunday, dinner and dancing on Saturday. Airport House, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8781 1933 • Savana 222 London Rd, CR0 020 8680 7452

restaurants

GREEK • L’Unico Greek cuisine. 265 High St, CR0, 020 8688 7998

AMERICAN • Frankie and Benny’s Pizza, pasta & burgers. Valley Leisure Park, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8760 5021 • Old Orleans Authentic New Orleans cuisine and cocktail bar. City Limits, The Colonnades, Purley Way. 020 8225 1999 • T.G.I Fridays 702-704 Purley Way, CR0. 020 8681 1313

INDIAN • 1860 Indian / South African cuisine. 28 South End, CR0 020 8688 3839 • Anika’s Contemporary Indian & Bangladeshi cuisine. 4 Selsdon Parade, Addington Rd, Selsdon, CR2, 020 8651 6602 020 8651 6603 • Banana Leaf Award winning South Indian cuisine. 7 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8688 0297 020 8688 9922 • Bombay Blue - DS Fine Indian cuisine. 23 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8645 0022 • Carbon - DS Bar & BBQ Indian - review coming soon.. Mon-Sat: 12pm-3pm, 5pm12,30am. 90 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1ND, 020 8688 0889 www.myspace.com/carbonbbq • Catamaran South Indian Kerala cuisine. Veggie and non-veggie. Takeaways available. 62 South End, Croydon

ENGLISH • Cockney’s Pie and Mash Pies, mash, liquor, vinegar in huge bottles, 82 Church St, CR0 - 020 8680 4512 • Coombe Lodge 104 Coombe Rd, CR0 020 8686 2030 • Tree House - DS 78 South End, CR0 020 8688 9837 FISH • Paradise Island Classy Mauritian restaurant specialising in fish dishes 67 South End, CR0 020 8688 9848 FRENCH • Auberge French cuisine. Unit 2153 (third floor) Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8680 8337 Sun-Wed: 10am-6pm Thu-Sat: 10am-10pm

CR0 1DP, 020 8688 6996 020 8688 7002 www.mcdosa.com • Chat House 14 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8688 6327 • Depa Indiana 5 Derby Rd, CR0 020 8688 9695 020 8686 4902 • Go East 212 London Rd, CR0 020 8667 1700 • India Palace 79 High St, CR0 020 8686 6730 • Kerala Bhavan South Indian. 16 London Rd, CR0. 020 8688 6216 • Mensab 39 Stafford Rd, CR0 020 8667 9090 • Mohini Balti 202 Croydon Rd, Beddington, CR0. 020 8686 8700 020 8688 5265 • Panahar 316 Limpsfield Rd, CR2 020 8651 9662 • Rose Indian/Chinese/Sri Lankan 305 London Rd, CR0 020 8684 1198 020 8684 1536 • Royal Asia Tandoori 91 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 7818 • Sanderstead Tandoori 5 Station Parade, Sanderstead Rd, CR2. 020 8651 6489 • Sangri New indian - fantastic food! 265 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QH • Sheesh Mahal 10 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0.020 8688 6239 020 8680 5553 • Tabaq Lahore cuisine 300 High Street, Croydon, 020 8688 9990 www.tabaq.co.uk • Taste Of Bengal 1 Station Parade, Sanderstead Rd, CR2. 020 8651 5445 • Tikka Masala 227-229 High St, CR0 020 8686 8800 • Zafran 349 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8655 0055 • Zara’s Kitchen Quality Indian, bring your own alcohol. 60 South End, CR0 020 8688 4277 020 8688 0782

restaurants ITALIAN • Bagatti’s 56-58 South End, CR0 020 8680 1336 • Bibi and Beppe Italian Risotteria, Pizzeria and Ristorante. Modern Italian cuisine, specialising in Risotto. 12” pizze. Fully Licensed. 38a South End, CR0, 020 8688 8524 • Dario 248 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8686 2680 • Elio 17 Limpsfield Rd, CR2 020 8657 2953 • Il Cavallino 89 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 9679 • Il Ponte Great food, but a bit crowded. 91-101 High St, CR0 020 8686 1112 • Il Teatro Wood oven baked pizza 64-66 London Rd, CR0 020 8667 1788 • La Pergola Streatham Italian with institutionally hilarious Elvis show. 66 Streatham High St, SW16. 020 8764 2646 / 020 8769 2601 • Mamma Amalfi Live Opera as you eat. 18 George St, CR0, 020 8688 5787 • Pasta San Giorgio Fresh pasta, friendly atmosphere but the service can suffer under pressure. 21-23 St Georges Walk, CR0, 020 8688 9428 • Pizza Express 3-7 South End, CR0 020 8680 0123 • Zizzi - DS Pasta and Pizza in modern surroundings with a wood oven for pizza. French doors all along the front, which they open up in summer. 57-59 South End, CR0. 020 8649 8403 MEXICAN • Chiquito Unit 3, Valley Park Leisure Development, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8686 8341 • Conchitas 27/29 South End, Croydon Tel: 020 8255 8028 • Tequila Rock Cafe 281 High St, CR0 020 8686 8030 020 8686 3223

• Royal Garden Upmarket Chinese. Takeaway available. Shirley Hills Rd, CR0 020 8654 6491 / 020 8654 0170 • Spicy Penang Chinese / Malaysian cuisine. Restaurant / takeaway / free delivery (over £15 (after discount) within 3 mile radius. 10% discount on all takeaway collections and deliveries. 49b49c South End, Croydon, CR0 1BF. 020 8680 2010 Lunch Mon-Fri: 12-2.30pm Dinner Mon-Thu: 6-11.30pm Fri/Sat: 6pm-midnight Sun: 12 noon - 11pm. • Tai Tung Chinese. 550 Purley Way, CR0 020 8688 3668 / 0117 • Udon Noodle Bar 74 London Rd, CR0 020 8686 0602 • Welcome Friends Chinese. 4 Bingham Corner, Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 9981.

ORIENTAL • Anna’s Thai. 1078 Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8681 6601 • Beijing Cottage Superior Cantonese. 49 South End, CR0 020 8688 2046 020 8688 1092 • Blossom House Chinese. 340 Limpsfield Rd, CR2. 020 8651 4723 • Excelsior Chinese. 264 Wickham Rd, CR0. 020 8656 1666 • Kelong All you can eat Malay/Chinese buffet. 1b Selsdon Rd, CR0 020 8688 0726 • Kelong Malay/Singaporean. Unit 10, Wingyip Centre, Purley Way, CR0 020 8288 1638 • Lido Noodle Bar Chinese, Malay, Thai and noodles. 282 London Rd, CR0 020 8689 8088 • Longquan Noodle Bar 97 South End, CR0 020 8667 9588 • Mae Ping Thai. 16-18 South End, CR0 020 8760 0278 • Malay House Malaysian BYO alcohol. 60 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8666 0266 • Miso Noodle Bar. Geeorge Street, Croydon www.misonoodlebar.co.uk • New China King 6 Beddington terrace, Mitcham Rd, CR0 020 8689 8222 • Noodle Time Good value functional chinese food served super-fast. Ideal for filling up before a night on the town. 56 George St, CR0 020 8681 6598 • Osushi Croydon’s first sushi restaurant sushi, tempura & ramen in contemporary surroundings 47 South End, CR0 1BF 020 8681 1166 • Paisaan Thai. Delivery of food and wines & beers available! 13-17 Station Rd, CR0 020 8686 6254

NEPALESE • Gurkha Spice Seafood, Thai, Chinese, Indian, Nepalese cuisine 343 Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6EQ 020 8686 8606 020 8667 0711 OTHER • Croydon Steak House T-bone steaks from 500g to 1500g. 31 South End, CR0 020 8688 8422. Closed Sun. • La Brasa Argentinian cuisine - mostly cow-based. 108a High St, CR0. 020 8760 9610 • Nando’s Portugese chicken restaurant. 26 High St, CR0 020 8681 3505, 0800 975 8181 • Pepperton UK - DS Relaxed and friendly licensed vegetarian restaurant and art gallery. Pepperton UK 25 Selhurst Road, SE25 020 8683 4462 • Tiger Tiger - DS Classic cuisine with a contemporary twist, along with 6 bars, 2 dance-floors and happy hour 5pm-7.30pm. 16 Grant’s Building, High St, CR0. 020 8662 4949 www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk

• Tinkers New Modern European restaurant. 299 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QL, 020 8686 5624 • Tree House - DS Large contemporary restaurant with bar and garden offering modern European cuisine. Main meals from £8.95. 78 South End, CR0. 020 8688 9837 SPANISH • Galicia Tapas Bar and restaurant. 269-275 High St, CR0 020 8686 0043 • La Tasca Tapas bar and restaurant. 38-40 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1YB, 0208 680 3388 • Picasso Tapas Bar and restaurant. 910 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 7PE, 020 8684 0049

cabs / cinema / music / adult cabs • A1 Minicabs 307 London Road, CR0, 020 8683 3535 or 020 8684 5050 • Circuit Cars 12 South End, CR0 020 8680 4321 • Croydon Carriage Co 270 Wickham Road, CR0 020 8656 1313 • Croydon Central Cars 35 South End, CR0 020 8686 4444 020 8686 4499 • Derby Minicabs 1 Derby Road, CR0 020 8680 5566 020 8680 7799 • Kendall Cars - WS 11, Epsom Road, CR0 and 20 Station Road, CR0. 020 8681 3535 • Roadrunners 174 North End, CR0 0800 147369 020 8681 8700 • Station Cars Purley 10 Station Approach, Purley, CR8, 020 8660 6000 020 8668 8848 • Station Cars Sanderstead Sanderstead BR 020 8657 5550 020 8657 1110 020 8657 5588

hotels • Aerodrome Hotel 3 star. £60-£120 Purley Way, CRO 020 8680 1999 • Coombe Lodge Around £55. 104 Coombe Rd, CR0, 020 8686 2030 • Coulsdon Manor Hotel 4 star. £108-£130 Coulsdon Court Rd, Coulsdon, 020 8668 0414 • Croydon Park Hotel 4 star. £125 - £140. Gym and pool. And a bar open to non-residents. 7 Altyre Road, CRO 020 8680 9200 • Express Holiday Inn WS Priddy’s Yard, off Frith Road, (behind Debenhams) Croydon

• Fairfield Hotel 2 star. £60ish. 1 Lansdowne Rd, CRO 020 8681 3381 • Hilton Croydon 4 star. £110. Waddon Way (off Purley Way), CRO. 020 8680 3000 • Innkeepers Lodge (Windsor Castle) - WS £70. 415 Brighton Rd, South Croydon, CR2 0870 243 0500 • Jury’s Inn 3 star. From £69. Wellesley Rd, CR0, 0870 907 2222 • Kirkdale Hotel £45-£80. 22 St Peters Rd, CRO. 020 8688 5898 • Premier Travel Inn £55ish. The Colonnades Leisure Park, 619 Purley Way, CR0. 0870 990 6554 • Selsdon Park Hotel 4 star. £100-£175. 126 Addington Rd, CR2 020 8657 8811 • South Park Hotel 2 star. £55-£75 3-5 South Park Rd, CR2 020 8688 5644

soundproofed, air-conditioned recording studios with vocal room. Studio hire, music production, training courses and DJ recording. Free parking. Unit 18-19 Croydon House, 1 Peall Road, Croydon, CR0 3EX. Tel: 020 8287 8585. www.onlinestudios.co.uk info@onlinestudios.co.uk • Rockbottom - WS Southern England’s largest music shop - keyboards, electronica, guitars & amps, drums & percussion (drum lessons available), woodwind & brass instruments. Buy and sell, downstairs rehearsal studios. 68/70 London Road, CR0. 020 8680 1042 • Scream Studios - WS Open 24 hours. 1000w rig with on board digital effects. Piezo mic recording system, air conditioning. Full backline available. Parking available. Daytime sessions from £18, evening sessions from £25. 20c South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN(next to E-Bar). 020 8686 5788 www.screamstudios.co.uk • Swag Records - WS Dance music specialists. 42 Station Road, West Croydon. 020 8681 7735 www.swagrecords.com • Vinyl Resting Place - WS Now online only at: www.thevinylrestingplace. co.uk • World Domination Music Croydon’s newest independent music publisher. Looking for singers/songwriters. All demos listened to. 52 Upper Selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 8DE 020 8657 5565 • 101 Records 2nd hand music. 11 Keeley Rd, CR0. 020 8681 8282

music • Beanos - WS The UKs largest 2nd hand record shop. 3 floors of vinyl heaven. Star House, 7 Middle St (near Jim Thompsons / Surrey Street market) 020 8680 1202 • Jonathan Myall Music Europe’s leading woodwind & brass centre. New & secondhand. Sales, rental, repairs. 46 South End, CR0 020 8662 8400 www.justflutes.com • Livewire Recording Studios Streatham Ice Arena 386 Streatham high road London. SW16 6HT 020 8835 9913 • Martin Phelps Music Guitars, amps, digital pianos, keyboards. On site guitar workshop. Buy and sell instruments. 9 South End, CR0, 020 8680 9747 • Memory Lane Records Old tunes. 55 Frith Road, CR0 020 8649 7220 • Online Studios 2 state of the art

cinema / theatre .• Fairfield Halls - WS Theatre and cinema. Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG box office: 020 8688 9291 admin: 020 8681 3381 www.fairfield.co.uk • Warehouse Theatre - WS Theatre and bar. Dingwall Road, Croydon CR0, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Vue Grants 10 screen cinema complex. 14 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. bookings and info: 08702 406020 enquiries: 020 8688 0606 www.warnervillage.co.uk • Vue Purley Way 8 screen cinema complex. Valley Park Leisure Complex, Hasterman Way, Croydon, CR0 4YA. bookings, info and enquiries: 08702 406020 www.warnervillage.co.uk • David Lean Cinema - WS 80 seater cinema & bar - mostly art-house and alternative films. Croydon Clocktower, Katherine Street, Croydon, CR9 1ET. 020 8253 1030

adult • Hustler Club Croydon’s newest (and only) table dancing club. 8pm-3am www.hustlerclubuk.com 12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon, 020 8633 1621 • Private DVDs, videos, ‘marital aids’ toys etc in a discreet environment. Selsdon Road, South Croydon (opposite The Folly pub)

I continued to plague the judges at the Ship Battle of the Bands, but also thoughtfully provided them with a huge tub of my own patented ‘Flapjackdaniels’

a flapjack, yesterday to the Brief for Scream Studio’s Screamfest which provided a brilliant excuse to spend the whole weekend in the pub! I arrived early on Saturday fully laden with my trusty tent (actually it was Edith’s old Anderson shelter), a light blanket and some kindling in an attempt to get a spot not too far from the main stage. Yes, there were two stages – one acoustic and one ‘main’ and for the princely sum of £2 per day you don’t get better value for money than that – and we didn’t get wet or muddy either. I soon found that my advice service was much in demand and spent my time fending off such questions as “Can you recommend a good speed flash?”, “Where is the nearest lap-dancing club as I come from Birmingham and I’m confused?” and “Can you mind my pint while I pop out to see a man about a

Wii?” The whole event ran like clockwork (or if it didn’t, we weren’t aware of it). Dave must have lost at least a stone running from stage to stage like a whirling dervish, and by the end it had all turned into one big party on stage with members of the audience seizing the microphone and members of the band wrestling with each other on the floor. By the next weekend I had recovered enough to venture out again and spotted in Kerrang! that Godsized were headlining at the Clapham Grand. And what a show! Spectacular pyrotechnics and amazing lighting, and even a stag party to tag along with. Four days later I was at the Purple Turtle in Camden spending my meagre Pension Credit on a gorgeous Disarm shopping bag. Yes I know, most bands will try to sell you a t-

shirt or a CD but Disarm are made of far more imaginative stuff, even though frontman Brad informs me that his home town of Mexborough only has one shop. Back at the Brief the next week, the lovely Iosist were in full throttle with singer Dick demonstrating that he has a very good memory (and that soundman Andy hasn’t) and providing concrete proof that a pixie can sound a lot like a Harley Davidson. And finally, as a very enjoyable way to spend a Thursday night, Kitty Hudson put on a sparkling performance at the Brief supported by the brilliant Mayfield (whose singer was so tall he hardly fitted under the ceiling) and Croydon’s resident street entertainer Bernard who seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself as he twirled and capered through the entire show without a break. You can catch Kitty Hudson and Disarm together at the Fighting Cocks in Kingston on 4th September (note to self – must make sure there’s enough eyeliner to go round!). Well, I’m off for a cup of tea and a nice sit down. Keep up with my exploits at www.myspace.com/auntiemay99 or I’ll see you at the bar. www.heavensbasement.com www.myspace.com/soliss www.myspace.com/davesears ww.myspace.com/missnicaragua www.myspace.com/thehangoversuk www.rumpledrumskin.co.uk www.myspace.com/godsized www.myspace.com/disarmmusic www.myspace.com/iosist www.kittyhudson.com ww.myspace.com/mayfieldtheband All Ship Battle Of The Bands by sheilarock@hotmail.co.uk Top: 23 Enigma, Miss Nic, Middle: Hangovers, Rumpledrumskin Bottom: Dean from The Ship hands out the prize to The 23 Enigma

Career advice? From Deep? With our reputation? Oh yes...

here’s no doubt that at one point or another all of us have wanted to pack in our boring jobs and go and do something more interesting instead [did it, doing it now, ya-boo - Ed], so we here at Deep thought we’d have a look at some of those more interesting things instead, then ask someone who already does them to give us the low-down on the ins and outs. So, to kick us off this month, an enlightening chat with Andy Sawyer, tour manager extraordinaire for The Bluetones, King Blues and The Quantic Soul Orchesta, amongst others, as well as a recent stint with the Young Knives. There doesn’t seem to be any set career path for getting into tour management, so how did you get the job? “I kind of fell on my feet really, I used to work as a festival trader for about 10 years then I had a couple of lean years -

away for three weeks then at home for three weeks, looking for more work, and it depends on who you’re working for as to how much you get paid for a tour. Travel is a big part of the job, where have you been so far? “I’ve been to most of Western Europe with various bands, I’m off to France in three weeks, which’ll be the 4th time I’ve been there this year. Germany, Belgium, Spain - I’ve only been outside Europe once so far and that was with The Bluetones - we went to Tokyo for a week.” Do you get to see much of the places you visit? “You don’t usually, it tends to be in, out as quickly as possible - last year we went to Venice and I’ve never been there before, so I was pretty excited about going, but basically we saw the airport, the hotel and the festival and that was it, so I didn’t actually see Venice at all.

“The basics are; do the show, pick up the money, make sure no-one gets arrested...” it’s a great lifestyle but I wasn’t really making enough to get by, so I had to look elsewhere. For a while I had the horrendous prospect that I might have to actually go out and get a job, but a mate of mine used to manage The Bluetones and he gave me a couple of days work driving them to a shows. I got on with them and started doing the merchandise on their tour, about 5 years ago. “Then I got another driving job for another band whose tour manager got the sack after their first tour and they offered it to me. I didn’t know what I was doing at all but it was only a very low-key thing, so I picked up some experience there, then started picking up other bits and pieces, and then The Bluetones Tour Manager job came up and they offered it to me, and here I am. As you get known as a Tour Manager the work starts to come in, now I can fill in for people when they’re away or whatever.” Is it full a time job or does it vary when you get work? “Last year was very, very busy, the busiest year I’ve had - I was with the Young Knives for most of it. It is a full time job but you do get gaps, you’ll be

“In Tokyo though we actually got a bit of time. We had basically 6 days there with just the one show in the end, with all the flights and hotels paid for by the organisers, so it is unusual but on that occasion we did have a few days to look around. “It also depends who you’re working for because obviously a lot of the time if you’re working for bands from London you end up driving back to London, whereas if you’re working for bands from other areas then you end up - which I prefer - going on a three week tour and staying away for three weeks. You get more into it that way, I think” What are the main aspects of your job and how does it all work? “Usually I get a list of dates from an agent and then it’s my reponsibility to contact promoters and make arrangements with them for riders, payment, stage times, production times, sound-check, all that business, book hotels, transport, book crew. It’s logistics really, and the more you can get done in advance the easier it is. It’s not always possible, but for the most part you organise everything in advance, produce 48

an itinerary for everyone, which everyone then ignores and asks you questions all the time anyway, and then you just make sure it all happens. “When you’re away on tour the buck stops with you - anything that goes wrong you have to sort out, and you have to look after the band and make sure that everybody is where they’re supposed to be. The basics are; do the show, pick up the money, make sure noone gets arrested.” Does what goes on tour stay on tour? “It does indeed...” What’s the best thing about your job? “I think it’s the cameraderie, when there’s a group of you moving from place to place, it’s like a bunch of mates really. I’ve been very lucky with the bands that I’ve worked with in that I’ve got on with them all. But specifically with the Bluetones it’s just like going away with your mates”. And the worst thing? “I’d say when you’ve got to do long drives at night, which I do quite a bit, if you’ve been to say, Liverpool, then you’ve got to drive home afterwards and drop everyone off, I’ll end up getting home at 6am. You do end up being more or less permanently tired when you’re on tour.” What advice would you give to someone wanting to become a tour manager? “Don’t expect glamour, that’s for sure, everyone thinks it’s glamorous but it isn’t. I think expect just to work hard and be prepared to do whatever it takes, whether it’s staying up late to get work done or being at the beck and call of people. Although ultimately the Tour Manager’s in charge, everyone comes to you with any problems. “I think doing the festival work prepared me for it a bit in the sense that you mix your work life and your social life and you’ve got to be prepared to work whatever hours. There’s no point thinking, right, it’s 11o’clock, the band’s finished, that’s me done. Until everyone’s tucked up in bed, and quite often even when they are tucked up in bed you’re still working. Be prepared to be flexible I think is the main thing, and think on your feet. I wouldn’t put anyone off it though, I really enjoy it and in the end it is very enjoyable work...”

A new strand in which friend of Deep ‘Hound Dog’ Geoff regales us with tales, thus far, of his round the world adventure...

asoo dudes ‘n’ dudettes. Let me cut to the chase. A while back now, in the mists of tequila fumes in some boozer in Croydon, your - and now my - Bonsai Editor Angela Spice, asked if l'd consider putting together some kind of half-arsed travel column, should she need a thousand word filler for when some of them pub/club managers decide to duck out of paying for their ads. Sure. No worries. But why me ? Well let me tell ya.. ‘Cos I've gone AWOL... Hitched a split.. I've packed and stored all of my worldly possessions, worked my butt off and saved as much money as was possible bearing in mind I like a cactus juice or two, stopped all standing orders that needed stopping, alerted banks and mobiles, paid off credit card, spent 2 weeks saying goodbye to my mates, kept working ‘til I left, folded my lil’ arty business after six years, etc... Easy innit? Just a year's holiday... Mmm, not exactly but it's cool. Don't want to bore you, but if you've read this far then you must be kinda intrigued... or perhaps you’re just sat in a boozer in the local manor and you're waiting for the missus... whatever. Thing is, I decided two or so years ago, that it was definitely for the best that I went off backpacking again. Two problems though: I wasn't in the right frame of mind, and l was skint. Fast forward to a wee while back, if that makes any sense, and so I found a new place to buy a Round The World Ticket because the place I used last time in Camden has gone, chatted to a bloke in an office in Angel, put my deposit down, then paid the remainder a couple of weeks later. Who's me? Ain't important, but I used to be one half of the DJ duo at The Ship's Sunday Service - Oh MAN that was fun, most of the time! And I've been known to fall off barrels when dancing. Well it shouldn't have tipped over... Anyway, let's go rambling... It went like this.; 10th June: In Victoria to get my visa for India. Problem. They're now not accepting the forms they gave me only yesterday - a new system apparently. Ah well, I’ve had this before - will sort it closer to the time of the flight. 11th June: My birthday. Bit pissed.

Funny that. 12th June: Finish the painting The Ship asked me to do. Hope they like it I do. Quick pint in The Dog and Dave. Out to The Oval later. Ritchie and Karen and Anna and Ange the rest are there, and lots of shots go down. Fri 13th June: Up. Pack rucksack. Wrap painting. Last fry-up in Surrey Street for a while. They like the painting - cool bananas! Two tequilas each, hugs goodbye and I'm off. The rucksack's heavy - always is when you put it back on again for the first time. Say bye to Phil at the Flower Stall. More tequilas with the Major, Patience and John in the Porter. Hugs goodbye. Off to Gatwick pumped. Really really pumped. Grinning and scared and nervous and excited. AC/DC in my ears. Will my money run out? Will my patience run out? I’ve dreamed of travelling since I was six and watching David Attenborough ("I'll never get to America or Africa - I live in Streatham” but I did...). So what will I miss? My mates - you know who you are, I hope. The tall girl on Platform One of East Croydon Station getting the 10am train to Victoria (gorgeous and Canadian and married. Shit. Was nice chatting to you on that rainy morning though, Eva), festivals, curries, watching the cricket in The Dog and Dave. Land in Crete at 11pm local time. A different smell in the air and it's hot and muggy. Cab to Malia 40 euros. So I'm now in Malia, Crete, back after 14 years hoping to work as a caricature artist and maybe sign-writer. No guarantees whatsoever, but if l don't earn money pretty soon I start to spend my money for the rest of the trip...India, West Australia, New Zealand and hopefully South America. The next twelve days or so involve saying hi to old mates, finding out that drinking Raki makes you depressed that’s a shame as it's cheap - learning to count from 1 to 19 in Greek plus other phrases, actually getting to the beach for a swim or two, setting up some art jobs, getting 24 hour Greek flu AND the shites in the same day, oh yeah, and my current landlady's from Coventry and is the only dominatrix in Malia, and probably Crete. And no - I ain't 50

interested and neither's she, thank God! But I'll tell you this, hearing a different bloke getting spanked with a paddle at 5am each morning is one hell of an alarm call.... I'm currently nursing the Hangover From Hell. It is, amazingly, my first one so far this trip, but by Christ it's a biggie. Ah well, I think a hair of the (Hound) dog is what the doctor ordered and it'll be consumed in Epsilon Bar, The Alcoholic Church. It's been an odd time so far for many reasons - both Malia and I have changed. Since I first worked here as an artist and then karaoke MC I’ve travelled to a load of other places, so now I'm a more experienced person - a good thing, I hope. Malia on the other hand, has regressed. It's sad that although the old town with its winding little streets and shutter-windowed buildings is still lovely, quiet, and has kept it's charm, the main part, Beach Road, has turned into Disneyland for chavs. It always was tacky but it's now much worse. Imagine the middle bit of Croydon, Tiger Tiger, et all, times it by about 2 kilometres, add crap booze, 35 degree heat, a zillion quadbikes (dangerous as hell), and about 2 thousand chavs in beach shorts and bunnygirl outfits and you've some idea. Luckily I've found a few bars that I like at night..Molly Malone's Irish Bar, where I help out on the karaoke for a couple of hours bangin' out 'Alright Now' for free hamsters (Amstel beer), The Cavern, playing rock’ n’ blues, and also Epsilon. I've also got to know a shitload of people, mainly through walking around, piece of hardboard under my arm, pad of paper bulldog-clipped on, ‘caricatures available - 7 euros each, 5 if you're a worker’. It's going okayish, sometimes brilliant (thank you Kelly from Norwich, thoroughly enjoyed the few nights we, er, chatted), and sometimes I've wondered why the hell I'm here, but that's to be expected, eh? That’s it for now. Stay safe and always, always put too much chilli on your noodles, ‘cos life's too short. Right then, I'm off for some vino collapso. Laters folks, Geoff x

To paraphrase both The Killers and Bill Bailey; ‘I’ve got ham and I am a hamster...’

fter a not at all well earned rest Boris, our three-sheets-to-thewind hamster mascot, is back with more tales from the wonderful world of pub, and this month he’s been mostly boozing and schmoozing in sunny Clapham. Actually, to be honest, our little friend was something of a passenger for this one as he was passed out for most of the night, which is a shame ‘cos he missed a cracker. So, the occasion of our foray out of sunny Croydon this month? No less an event than a reading (at the marvellous Clapham Books) by our lovely showbiz mate Ashley Hames of some bits of his

mirror, which I inadvisedly stand right in front of until I see my still vaguley Poblike reflection in it and scuttle back towards the back wall of the pub where I’ve spied a likely looking spot to have a fag. Not an easy feat as the garden is rammed, as was the front patio and indeed the pub itself - something that online reviewers bemoan as it does take a while to get a drink inside, and it aint cheap. The decor is hard to fathom mainly because it’s so busy and I’m so short I can’t see the bloody walls, but it’s got stripped wooden floors, wooden tables and a disconcerting little step at the side of the bar which I fell down. The

Being told that hanging out with me is ‘like going for a drink with Kathy Burke’ is possibly the most flattering thing I’ve ever heard... tome ‘Sin Cities: Adventures of a Sex Reporter’. Although still on the edge of molar abscess-ness, and not having had a drink for over a week, we couldn’t really miss this one, being as though we’re in the book. Not in it as an anecdote, thankfully, as it’s a bit full-on and we haven’t had the pleasure, but in it on the quotes page at the front, which we told you about some months ago but weren’t sure if we’d made it in. Well, we have, and that is rather cool, we think. Having been to the reading, and in a fit of fan-dom, having got Ash to sign our copy: ‘Angela, lovely - enjoy, you’re in it... hello!’ it is, of course, time to hit the pub. The Falcon, up near Clapham North, is a new one to me, but turns out to be a corker. The front patio alone is bigger than most beer-gardens, and the beer garden proper out the back is mahusive and quite familiar, in that it has an outside bar and outside BBQ. It’s like the Dog and Bull garden, or rather it would be if the Dog got its act together and ran its outside facilities late into a balmy Friday evening. This beer garden isn’t necessarily bigger than the Dog but exists over two tiers and has a strange sculpture in the middle which resembles a big pointy

general consensus seems to be if you want a seat in the garden, get there early, as it’s been voted one of the Fluid Foundations Best Beer Gardens in London. I eventually find Ashley lurking, where else, near the al-fresco bar, where he’s managed to bag a table with a spare seat for me, which was kind, and where I meet Grub Smith (the presenter of the original series of Sin Cities and of Travel Sick amongst others, who’s very nice) his two lady-friends, who confirm that the barbecue food is quite good actually, and a bloke called Richard who’s travelled from Chingford on his own in true stalker fashion to be at the reading. As seems to be the thing this month, he finds my South London accent quite amusing as he’s a bit posh, but he’s a nice bloke and we get chatting about various things, until he stops halfway through a 52

sentence and says ‘I’ve just worked out who you remind me of...’ I, of course, am waiting for the inevitable ‘Suzi Quatro’, but no, Rich has something else up his sleeve; ‘It’s like going for a drink with Kathy Burke, ‘cos she seems like she’d be a laugh too...’ This is possibly the most flattering thing anyone has ever said to me. Meanwhile, everyone is now drunk, and the evening ends with me, Ash and yet more young ladies necking Sambucas on the front patio of the pub, which is still rammed but has the same friendly-if-abit-trendy atmosphere as the rest of the pub, and is equipped with heaters handy as it’s gone midnight, I think - I’m still on antibiotics and have had a lot to drink so who knows. All in all then, a fab night out in another of London’s little hidden gems of a pub (in the summer at least), and so The Falcon - Approved! But beware, check the train times and don’t, as I did, get stranded in Balham and have to rely on a peculiarly charitable black cab driver who knew I only had £20 but still dropped me all the way home before asking me out for a coffee. I bet Kathy Burke doesn’t get that... The Falcon, Bedford Road, Clapham North, Clapham, London, SW4 7SQ Ashley Hames’ new series ‘Top Trumps’ with Robert Llewellyn starts on Channel 5 on Monday 8th September at 7.30pm.

News-hound Pru, it’s all kicking off!

etting straight to it, we start this month by happily sending our congratulations to the Claret Free House in Addiscombe which made it into the CAMRA Good Beer Guide this year. No great shakes you may think, but this entry marks the Claret’s inclusion in the beer-drinkers-bible for the 21st year in a row, and if that’s not a landmark, I’m not sure what is. As Branch chairman Dave Lands says ‘this is a really magnificent achievement, matched by only a handful of publicans in the UK. The Claret is a true local pub, offering an ever changing choice of six quality real ales, mostly from local and southern breweries. For 21 years the Claret has been a beacon of excellence, serving top quality beer and cider in a friendly and welcoming environment.’ Indeed, so well done you lot. Elsewhere, we mentioned last month the demise of Bar R, its replacement Txt Bar and rumours of a ‘concept’. Well, thankfully the concept we’d been told, by a bloke down the pub, that you could text your orders to the bar, appears to be a load of old tosh, and Txt Bar is well, a bar, albeit a bit of a posh one. According to their website they offer ‘the best mojitos this side of Havana’. We’ve yet to try, so we can’t vouch, but rest assured we will, in the interests of research... Meanwhile we bid farewell this month to Paradise Island, the spectacular Mauritian Fish restaurant, which we’re sad to say is no more. Oddly, it appears to have been replaced by a fish and chip shop. It’s just opened so we haven’t had a chance to get in there yet, but we will, oh yes, and will let you know, as ever. Next up, an inordinate amount of friend of Wired / Deep news: Last month we told you of ‘Bill Bailey’s remarkable Guide to the Orchestra’ coming to the Albert Hall on 15th-16th October - this month reveals a pre-emptive chance to see it at The Brighton Dome on the 4th and 8th of October. Tickets from www.brightondome.org at £30 + booking fee. Elsewhere, on tv and therefore substantially cheaper, previous coverincumbent Al Murray returns to ITV with his Happy Hour on Friday 12th

September and - hurrah - Harry Hill’s TV Burp returns to ITV on 18th October. As mentioned elsewhere, Ashley Hames also has a new show on Channel 5 called ‘Top Trumps’ starting on September 8th. Back out and about, The Mighty Boosh (pic, bottom) start a new tour this month, and play 6 dates at the Brixton Academy from 20-26 October, The Brighton Centre from 12-15 November and 13th December and Wembley Arena on the 12th and 15th December. Tickets from www.themightyboosh.com or the relevant venue website etc. Closer to home, other friends of the mag are coming to Croydon in the shape of Tim Vine (pic, top) on the 18th September and Dylan Moran (pic, middle) on 13th November - both of which will be bloody brilliant. Tickets from www.fairfield.co.uk. In fact, it’s all happening at the Fairfield, for once, as the news we couldn’t bring you last month we can this, and it’s a rather exciting gig by Boot-Led Zeppelin on 7th November, to celebrate the 40th Anniversary of Led Zep’s first London gig. As well as the band, there are all sorts of other things going on from 5pm, such as a memorabilia auction, films etc. This is apparently the only official celebration occurring this year, so don’t miss it. Ticket news as we get it. Again at the Fairfield, it’s Panto news! And this year hold onto anything which isn’t nailed down and could therefore be blown away by sheer volume as not-yetfriend-of-deep-but-we’re-working-on-it Brian Blessed stars as Hook in this year’s outing - Peter Pan. BRIAN BLESSED! Sorry, couldn’t resist that. I’m actually quite concerned as I only live half a mile from the Fairfield and will therefore have to superglue down my ornaments to prevent vibrations oscillating them off their shelves. The show runs from 06/12/08 - 04/01/09 and tickets are available from www.fairfield.co.uk. Right, I think that’s about it for another month, keep ‘em peeled, don’t have nightmares and we’ll see you next time. The news-hound has left the building... Got news? E-mail: hello@deep-london.co.uk 54

Rock and Roll Question TIme returns with the Bootleg Lilos, winners of Feed Me Music’s Battle of the Bands, and keen cyclists...

ticking with the travel theme, a quick Q&A with a band who cycled 400 miles to the Wickerman Festival, all in the name of charidee. Top work, fellas... 1) Who are the band members and what do they play? JIM: Holding up the rear is a young Welsh teenager named Steve who plays the drums and sings boy band style harmonies. Supporting his rhythms is Steve Dabor with his rocking and rolling bass lines. Fellow guitarist and singer is Jav 'Squint and you'll miss him' Bunny. 2) What was the first single/album you bought? JIM: First single was a little beauty commonly known as 'Parklife' by Blur and the first album was Sparkle and Fade by Everclear, with a bonus Live CD featuring a cover of American Girl by Tom Petty. STEVE: brimful of Asha, Cornershop JAV: I just want to make love to you - Etta James and Parklife – Blur WELSH: I think it was something like Saturday night – Whigfield. Singles used to be so cheap in asda. 3) When did you realise that taking over the world with your music was your chosen career path? JIM: When myself and a friend improvised a now classic song called 'Is that Your Mother I Can See Out The Window' at the end of a noisy, talentless jam at the age of 14. STEVE: The first time we jammed at

Flabby Road Studios four days before our first gig. JAV: Being blown away by my first ever gig - Shed Seven at the Southampton Guildhall. I literally knew nothing of live music before then, that got me into playing guitar and then into a band and so on....! WELSH: In Mrs Browns music class – if she could make a career out of music...anyone could. I also had a semi famous English teacher ‘Ishmael Lewis’ from Liberty 37. Not a day goes by that i don’t make some reference to him or his band! 4) Did you have a career advisor at school and if so what did they initially suggest? JIM: I didn't have a careers advisor but the school had a computer program as a substitute. After answering several, seemingly random, multiple choice questions it suggested I become a wig maker when I grew up. A dream I still wish to follow. STEVE: No, but I was keen on sport.. JAV: Yes - either an architect or a teacher! WELSH: Yes, but we also had to fill out a thing called JIGCAL answering random multiple choice questions by carefully scribbling in a small box with a HB pencil. It suggested i should work with animals...who knew i would end up working with these monkeys! 5) What has been the best The Bootleg Lilos gig to date and why? JIM: Winning FeedMe Music’s, Battle of the Bands at the Grand was some gig. We gave our all into the performance and came top, we thought we were underdogs but we never doubted our victory. STEVE: Leonard’s in Islington, our crowd were awesome that day. We whipped up enough good vibrations to be asked on for an encore after the headline act. JAV: Rock the Jocks final at the Clapham Grand, not musically the best performance by a mile but the energy was immense. We had been building up to it for ages so there was a lot of pressure, when we were waiting backstage we were getting more and more nervous and pacing around, the crowd was massive and people were 56

chanting "Lilos"! Just before we went on we huddled together and told each other we were awesome and we were going to rock the shit out of everyone. Then when the lights went down and we were introduced we began the long introduction into the first song in which, we all went onstage one by one - then in a flash it was all over! We then got smashed and had a great night, then found out we had won! Bonus! WELSH: The Grand one was great...but the actual Wickerman Festival performance kinda tops it for me. We drew quite a crowd and the stage and backstage area were stormed at the end of the set...that’s the first time i gave away my drum sticks to a ‘fan’. 6) If you could support any band in the world at any venue in the world, who and where? JIM: Wham! At Heaven or G.A.Y, solely for the amyl nitrate infused party atmosphere. STEVE: Foo Fighters at Wembley... just think of the after party... JAV: A current band (Kings of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, The Zutons...) on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury - 3rd to last set as the sun is going down and everyone is smashed! WELSH: Fleetwood Mac (the original line up) in a small venue...something like the nothing but blues bar and/or Biffy Clyro on the pyramid stage at Glasto...and then maybe an after party in the kings head! 7) Who or which band has inspired your element of 'cool'? JIM: Justin from Hollyoaks STEVE: Clint Eastwood... JAV: We are not 'cool' in the slightest (except for maybe Steve Dabor who is a little bit cool!) and I don’t think we have ever tried to be.... We’re all completely different and don’t try and hide it by trying to look like a band (e.g. - all wearing the same clothes). That could change though as we're looking into vests as a possible way forward in the future...? WELSH: Jav. The Bootleg Lilos play the Dublin Castle, Camden, on 24th September. www.myspace.com/thebootleglilos

The Month in Pictures... Get Loaded in the Park, Adventures in Stratford, Screamfest at The Brief, The Ship BOTB Judges looking GREAT!

Mystic Mike returns with more astrological predictions which possibly are entirely made up... Libra Sep 23-Oct 22 You know that Sam Cooke, bloke who sang “Wonderful World” yeah? Well I was thinking the other day, it must have been real easy to please his other half. Look at the facts; he openly admits he doesn’t know anything about history, biology, science books, French, geography, trigonometry, algebra or what a slide rule is for. Furthermore, he then says that he’s not trying to be an “A” student so from this I would say he’s not really ambitious or self-motivated either. Whichever way you look at it he’s basically saying he’s a bit useless, apart from the fact he knows that one and one make two. Even my son knows that and he’s less than 2. Hence the fact I think Mrs Cooke (if there was one) must have been, perhaps, a bit simple. I don’t know many women who would go for someone with such a seemingly minute brain, apart from in Pollards perhaps. Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 You will remain alive this month. Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Wussup Monique, you sure rollin some fine bomb ass shawty plays today girl. Dis playa got a sack lunch with your name on it fo sho and y’all knows I’m a tongue and groove expert. Here’s my digits, call me.

Aries Mar 21-Apr 20 A good month for change Aries fans as some minor fortune falls your way. Right around somewhere between the 1st and 31st somebody drops some loose change in front of you and being the thieving gypo that you are, you nab yourself a shiny 20p. What kind of low-life are you? That person might have needed that money to phone their Mother to tell them that some nasty Croydon pervert had flashed them on the bus. They might have needed that money for the only bit of food they would eat this month. They might have needed that money to buy a present for a sick and hospitalised relative. You make me sick in my mouth you really do. Give it back when it happens, give it back. Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 The problem with writing the star signs is that my computer faces away from the TV screen. This means that when I’m writing them I’m looking at a blank wall directly in front of me, a mirror to the left and the park to the right. Not in a clowns to the left of me jokers to the right kind of way though. Anyway, because I can’t watch TV I just play music through the computer and it’s this which makes the star signs so bad (like this one) because I keep getting distracted and lose my flow. If I had some flow then I could write something profound and meaningful (why change the habit of a lifetime? – Ed). Anyway, that’s my excuse, take it or leave it.

Taurus Apr 21-May 20 Frank: Are we in Taurus again? Déjà vu eh Hank? Hank: What is déjà vu Frank? Frank: Kind of feeling like you’ve experienced something before. Hank: Were we here before then? Frank: Last month I think. That’s déjà vu. Virgo Hank: What is déjà vu Frank? Frank: Kind of feeling like you’ve experienced something before. Hank: I have a feeling I’ve heard you say that before Frank. Frank: Say what? Hank: What? Frank: No, don’t say “what” Hank. Hank: You just asked me to say “what” Frank. Unless it was déjà vu? Frank: F**k off Hank. Hank: I’ve heard that before. Is that déjà vu Frank?

Aug 23-Sep 22

Gemini May 21-Jun 21 The Feast of St Michaels is the special feature festival this month kids. Held in Ireland and undertaken the week before Michaelmas, a load of women and girls (no men, it would appear to be work for women only) go round digging up carrots and chanting. What do they chant I hear you ask? What else but… Cleft, fruitful, fruitful, fruitful, Joy of carrots surpassing upon me, Michael the brave endowing me, Bride* the fair be aiding me. Once they have all the carrots they need they tie them with red thread and give them to people on Michaelmas day itself, obviously. Deep will of course send the travel correspondent to cover the festival and report back…probably…

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 This is the instrumental version of your star sign and has no words.

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Who do you like more – Noel Gallagher or Nelly Furtado? I can’t decide.

Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 Write your own star sign, FFS.

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21 Does anybody remember if Mr Tickle was actually able to tickle himself? I have it on good authority that the cerebellum warns the rest of your brain when you might try to tickle yourself and ignores it, so in theory he shouldn’t have been able to. If he can, I might have a case for taking that Hargreaves chap for every penny. 60