All Saints’ Church
Bramham Parish News
© Copyright All Saints’ Church Bramham
October 2015 Issue 153
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Church Officers for All Saints’ Bramham Rev’d Canon Peter
Vicar of Lower Wharfe Parish (Bramham, Boston Spa & Walton) and Vicar of Thorp Arch 86 High Street, Boston Spa……………………………………………………………….. 842454 Rev’d Trisha Anslow……Curate, 4 Pine Trees, Boston Spa……………………………………………………….. 844789 Rev’d Jane Brown……...Curate, The Vicarage, Thorp Arch……………………………………………………….. 849148 Rev’d Stanley Menzies…Honorary Assistant Priest, 2 Crag Gardens, Bramham……………………………….. 541047 Churchwardens…………Chips Browning, Terry Lug Farmhouse, Bramham Park………………………………. Jillian Lawson, 21 Lyndon Avenue, Bramham LS23 6RG………………………………
0113 2892790 844858
Deputy Churchwarden…Anne Palmer, Old Coach House, Bramham, LS23 6QG………………………………
842850
Treasurer……………… Mary Clerehugh, 8 Walton Gardens, Thorp Arch LS23 7FU…………………...……..
842133
Secretary……………… Val Clerehugh, Pear Tree Cottage, 1 Windmill Road, Bramham………………………
841150
VCC Members………… Kate Lofthouse, Gillian Young, Stephen Spencer, Dolly Mullen, Jillian Lawson, Nigel Kitchen, Yvonne Gibson Magazine Editor………...Gillian Young, 62 Lyndon Road, Bramham…………………………………………….. 843129 Organist………………… Simon Noble, 1 Barley Hill, Crescent, Garforth……………………………………….... 0113 2867998 Church Flowers……… Dolly Mullen, 9 Bradford Close, Bramham………………………………………………. 918725 Deanery Synod………… Jillian Lawson……………………………………………………………………………….. 844858 Stepping Stones……… Jennie Saynor, Mount House, Willow Lane, Clifford LS23 6JN………………….. jen@saynor.me.uk Group Office…………….Sarah Oates (Office open Monday-Friday 11.00 am to 1.00pm)…………….… 844402
WHO’S WHO in Bramham
Village Hall Committee……..Chairman: Stewart Gibson…………………………………………………………… 845084 Hall Bookings…………………………………………………………………………. 07432 330972 Magazine Editor……………..Gillian Young………………………………………………………………………….. 843129 Drama Group………………...Secretary: Christine Suddaby………………………………………………………. 849455 Football Club………………….Dave Jacklyn………………………………………………………………………… 07809 561199 Guides……………………… Sarah Clayton………………………………………………………………… sarah@claytons.info Brownies…………………….. Sam Fenwick-Scott…………………………………………………………………… 07984 672624 Explorer Scouts……………...Justin Atkinson………………………………………………………………………… 541727 Scouts………………………...Jason Turner (Skip)…………………………………………………………………… 842181 Beavers……………………….Deborah Atkinson………………………………………………………….…………. 07944 728399 Cubs…………………………..Diane Hare (Akela)………………………………………………………………….... 07787 113154 Bramham Primary School…..Head Teacher Sarah Richards…………………………………………….…… Deputy Head Teacher Laura Wild: Chair of Governors Sue Morgan
843682
Bramham Parish Council…...Valerie Whitbread (Chair) 541075, Fiona Henderson (Vice Chairman) 843197, Scott Jones 07779 412817, Naomi Elvin 833288,Chris Lewis 07952317129,Ian Dalton 849455, June Halliday 845564,Linda Richards 842151,Deborah Atkinson 07944 728399 Clerk Parish Council……….. Marie Lynch…………………………………………………………………………… 841328 Bramham Pavilion…………..Gerry Taylor, Secretary……………………………………………………...845828 or 07817 849556 Yorkshire Countrywomen’s Asscn ...Anne Topping - Chair ……………………………………………………………… 844529 Bramham in Bloom………….Ernest Nichols …….………………………………………………………………….. 841195 Community Action Group…..Keith Innocent………………………………………………………………………..… 841197 Monday Club………………...Mavis Wilson…………………………………………………………………………… 842321 Readers Group…………….. Jillian Lawson 844858 & Marion Hogg 844191 Bramham Shop & Post Office...Lynne Williams…..…………………………………………………………………. 842275
Bramham Parish News Team Editor Deputy Editor Advertising Treasurer Distribution Proof Readers Printers
Gillian Young Anne Palmer Paul Marshall Jillian Lawson Anne & Paul Topping Write Design & Print
01937 843129 01937 842850 01937 844767 01937 844858 01937 588198
bramham.magazine@gmail.com bramham.magazine@gmail.com phmpm@sky.com jillian1981@talktalk.net
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Clergy Letter from the Rev Stanley Menzies The Rev.
Jonathan Sacks, the former Chief Rabbi is one of the great religious thinkers of the 21st century and with wisdom asserts that theology must be part of the solution to the problems, needs and challenges of our time. He contends that the West has become more secular over decades if not centuries and the re-emergence of religion as a global force caught the West unprotected and unprepared as it was in the grip of a narrative that told a very different story. The West had the market economy and the liberal democratic state and religion was sidelined if not redundant. What the secularists forgot is that man is the meaning-seeking animal.Science, technology, the free market and democracy have enabled us to reach great achievements in knowledge, freedom, life expectancy and affluence and they are to be treasured. But they do not answer the questions every human asks in their deepest soul. Who am I? Why am I here? How shall I live? Our century has given most of us in the West many choices but not only for us but for the wretched of the world a minimum or absence of meaning. Jonathan Sacks’ assertion that theology has a crucial part to play needs to be heard. As we have become more secular we do not see why religion and faith in God matter, why they are so important. The response of the Church must be humble and thoughtful. Our religious foundations do matter and without them we will lose much that makes life in our world gracious, hopeful and humane. This takes us to the heart of the Gospel, to the Good News, to Jesus. From the beginning of His life Jesus is always with people and their needs. Born in a stable, along with his parents a refugee fleeing tyranny He identifies with the human condition. In his ministry he engages with people and their needs, he feeds the hungry, rescues the disciples from the storm, engages in conversation with all sorts of folk, listens, discusses and teaches in parables which live down the centuries with eternal truths for our time. But when Jesus begins to speak about God’s mission in the world and the divine dimension to life there is disagreement, complaint and distancing if not desertion. Even the disciples begin to doubt and Peter asks “to whom shall we go?” Today we also ask this question and it is this search for meaning that we all need to engage in. We are reminded every day of the reality of living in our time and we need to rediscover the divine dimension to life in the company of Jesus, always engaged with people and their needs. The two most urgent issues of our time may help our search. The first issue is that of migration. The United Nations estimate that 60 million people are leaving their homes because of war, terror and famine to find peace, security and the possibility of hope for their children. Europe is facing the biggest crisis since the Second World
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Top Quality Logs for sale Delivered Locally Phone Andy Colley 01937 558470 Evening 07786 484722 Mobile
5 War and the response has been numbingly inadequate. This migration has Biblical tones as it reminds us of the several captivities of the people of Israel, of their long journey to the Promised Land. It also reminds us of other journeys and the long walks to freedom of the Jews in Nazi Europe, of Black Americans with Martin Luther King and the people of South Africa with Nelson Mandela. The Church often calls us people of the way and we walk in the company of Jesus. Be assured He is always engaged with the wretched and their needs and we must bring this divine dimension into the West’s and our response to the challenge of migration. The response is not only to love our neighbour but also the stranger. The second issue is religious extremism which is Islamist extremism and yet again Jonathan Sacks’ wise assertion that theology must be part of the solution is cogent. Islam like Judaism and Christianity is an Abrahamic faith and Abraham is the great patriarch of all three. There was clearly a profound love between Abraham and God. Abraham was called by God to go from his country “to the land that I will show you.” He accepted the call and encountered many of the trials and tribulations which millions of migrants experience every day. Yet Abraham feels blessed and believes he must bring blessings to others and all creation. He seeks to be true to his faith whilst being a blessing to others regardless of their faith. This is a profound truth for the Church and the 21st century. It is a profound truth for the three great faiths and their followers. We are all children of Abraham and Desmond Tutu reminds us that as we weep over this world God joins us in our tears and has no one but us to make this world hospitable to peace and justice with a future of grace
Christmas Tree Festival All Saints’ Church Bramham Decorate a tree and enter our great Christmas Tree Competition ! Entry fee only £5 Prizes for the best decorated trees, Trees will be displayed in the Church Sat and Sun 5th and 6th December 10am until 4.00pm. Seasonal refreshments will be on sale and Father Christmas is expected to drop in! For further details contact Mavis 842321 mavismaud38@gmail.com Jillian 844858 jillian1981@talktalk.net
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Quiet country se ing Home from home Breakfast Club Meal heating facilities From 18 months Cot facilities All weather playground
Drop in and see what we have to offer. You will be impressed. c/o St Johns School for the Deaf Church Street, Boston Spa Tel.: 844239 www.cliffordpreschool.co.uk Registered charity: 1041173
Established 1879
Tel: 01937 833355/832513 Mobile 07981 772085 email: dr.Lloyd@Tiscali.co.uk
Approved Gas Installers Bathroom - Design & Installation Central heating - Design & installation Members of APHC Competent Person Scheme All plumbing and heating service and repair work St Joseph Street, Tadcaster LS24 9HA
Tel: 01937 541201 Mobile: 07762 708315
Email: chris@eeselectrical.com
website: www.eeselectrical.com
20 Lyndon Avenue, Bramham LS23 6RG
7 The Benefice of Bramham The Parish of Lower Wharfe All Saints, Bramham; St. Mary’s, Boston Spa; St. Peter’s, Walton. The Parish of Thorp Arch, All Saints. The Vicarage, 86 High Street, Boston Spa, West Yorkshire, LS23 6EA 3rd September 2015 Mr. Alec Shelbrooke, M.P. House of Commons,
Dear Mr. Shelbrooke, Thank you for your letter of 22nd July 2015 kindly explaining your position on the forthcoming Second Reading of the Assisted Suicide Bill.
I think the position you have adopted is a wise one, at least for the moment. The protection of life from birth to death should be seamless and as you say people at the end of their lives must have the right to receive the highest quality of palliative care. However this does raise further questions and issues about whether or not this is the case at the present time.
In the light of a seamless approach to the protection of life I am deeply disturbed by the Government’s current stance on the refugee crisis. I acknowledge there is a distinction to be made between economic migrants and refugees, but in the light of grinding poverty we have to remain sensitive to the needs of desperate peoples.
Government involvement to materially support the camps in the Middle East is admirable, but I think some of the language used by the Prime Minister and other ministers in recent days is really unhelpful and only buttresses the incipient racism and fear of the stranger in our society.
When people are fleeing war, violence and persecution we should be ready to welcome them with open arms and history has proved time and again that when countries have done so, with little regard of the cost, in the longer term they become the beneficiaries of their own hospitality.
I believe that not only has our Government seriously failed in this regard, but so has the European Community as a whole. These are also global concerns and questions must be asked of the world community too. I think we should lead by example.
It seems we have no solutions for the conflicts in Syria, Iraq, Somalia, Yemen and Libya and indeed we may have helped to exacerbate the violent situations in some of these places. We cannot ignore the terrible consequences of these evils. To offer a place of refuge is an essential requirement for a civilised society. I plead for an urgent change in Government policy. With every good wish, Yours sincerely,
The Rev. Canon Peter E. Bristow, Vicar.
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Please mention this magazine when calling Advertisers BRAMHAM PARK Wonderful late 17th/18th century gardens in original French design
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01937 588400 / 585131 Gardens and Grounds open Monday to Friday all year 10.30 am - 4.30 pm by appointment only
Mon - Sat 8 am - 5 pm
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B&B - Holiday Cottages
(Closed for Bramham Horse Trials and Leeds Festival)
For further information contact: The Estate Office, Bramham Park, Wetherby, LS23 6ND
Tel: 01937 846000
email: enquiries@bramhampark.co.uk www.bramhampark.co.uk
The fun goes on and on with Adventure Toys!� ORDER ONLINE OR OVER THE TELEPHONE Come see our large range of Quality Toys, Houses, Farms, Brio trains and so much more
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3 local cottages ‌ B&B in Boston Spa Tel: 01937 845592 - David & Anne www.fourgables.co.uk
All makes supplied BIG or small See us on the Internet www.bramhamgarage.co.uk
Tel: 01937 45546/541251 email: bramhamgarage@aol.com
NEIL GARDNER Cabinet Maker and Antique Restorer & French Polisher
Bespoke items can be made
07900 413623 or 01423 358508
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DOUGLAS YEADON For all your DIY & Household Needs
169 High Street, Boston Spa
Tel: 01937 842338 www.douglasyeadonhardware.co.uk
YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT MERCHANT For all your building & landscaping requirements We now sell hardwood logs, briquettes & kindling
Tel: 01937 843493 Inglebank, High Street, Boston Spa www.kirbybuildersmerchants.co.uk
Interior and Exterior Design Solutions • • • • •
Bathrooms Tiling Coving / Plastering Decoration Solid / Laminate Flooring
• • • • •
Decking Fencing Paving Brick Work Garden Buildings
Tel: 0113 287 4298 Mobile: 07740 798068 Website - www.4dpm.co.uk Email - info.4dpm@gmail.com
All Aspects Of Electrical Work Undertaken • EXTRA SOCKETS TO FULL REWIRES • REPAIRS MAINTENANCE AND FAULTFINDING • DOMESTIC COMMERCIAL AND INDUSTRIAL • CCTV, INTRUDER ALARMS & SECURITY LIGHTING • GARDEN LIGHTING EFFECTS • WIRED AND WIRELESS INTERNET CONNECTIONS • STRUCTURED NETWORK DATA CABLING • REMOTE TELEVISION POINTS/FLAT SCREEN INSTALLATION • EXTRA TELEPHONE POINTS Fully qualified to the very latest 17th edition regulations Part P, City and Guilds & COMPEX 7/8
T 0800 999 3873 (fuse) M 07772 183296 E kev@fuseservices.co.uk
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Stepping Stones Stepping Stones After a long summer break the children spent their first session at Stepping Stones enjoying the early evening sunshine whilst exploring the church yard and completing a quiz. They had great fun looking for things that would spell the words WELCOME BACK. We then brought the craft table outside and collected leaves to do some leaf rubbings. The children worked really hard and we managed to produce enough leaves to make some lovely autumnal bunting. The children proudly paraded the bunting around the church at the Family Service on Sunday. We finished a really relaxing afternoon with a story from the Children’s Bible. The children who attend Stepping Stones are mainly from Bramham, Boston Spa and Thorp Arch schools. Any child is welcome to attend whether or not they come to Church…. It is simply a way of meeting other families in a relaxed friendly environment. The next session is on Friday 9th October at All Saints Church - 5.30pm. We will be making harvest boxes for the harvest festival. If anyone has any spare shoe boxes they would be very gratefully received! Please bring the shoe boxes covered in brown paper or foil. The harvest box preparation is always really busy so the more the merrier! The Family Service takes place at All Saints every second Sunday at 10am. For more information please contact Jennie Saynor jen@saynor.me.uk. All Saints Church Bramham, serving Bramham’s Community for over 860 years.
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Maths Tuition Mark Laws Qualified maths teacher. 30 years experience.
ANDREW MORGAN
One to one home tuition.
Opticians
Contact: 01937 541012
A friendly professional practice offering:
Email: pommiers@talktalk.net
Deepdale Community
Pre-School
♦ Private & NHS Eye examinations ♦ A wide range of spectacle frames & lenses to suit all ages and budgets ♦ All types of contact lenses and after care ♦ Home visits for the housebound
Rated in the top 5% of UK childcare providers
170 High Street, Boston Spa
SESSION TIMES for 2-5 year olds
01937 849933
Morning Sessions Afternoon Sessions Rising 5’s* Lunch Club
9am– 12pm Monday - Friday 12pm– 3pm Mon, Wed, Friday 12pm- 3pm Tues, Thurs 12pm - 1pm Monday- Friday
SEAN’S PRIVATE HIRE For all your taxi needs
*Rising 5’ - structured Pre-School sessions
07865 673648
Please call 07854 092616
Licenced by Selby District Council (for 4 seats)
www.deepdalepreschool.co.uk or email deepdalepreschool@yahoo.co.uk
Tadcaster & Surrounding Areas
BROOK BABES Brook Babes has a graduate lead team and an Early Years Professional supporting staff and parents to ensure the best possible outcome for children We offer continuity of care from babies to 12 years, leaving parents safe in the knowledge that their child is in the best possible care Opening from 7.30 am – 6.00 pm - 51 weeks a year with no additional charges for those unavoidable delays We provide three well balanced home cooked meals a day and special dietary requirements are catered for. Whitwood House 148b High Street Boston Spa LS23 6BW 01937 842198
For further information please don’t hesitate to contact Jane on:
Streamside Cottage 6 New Road Bramham LS23 6QS 01937 849474
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Transport Scheme update Our Transport Scheme has now been running for a year; many would say we are victims of our own success, with well over 100 clients now registered. As a result we desperately need additional volunteer drivers, so… Do you think you would like to do something meaningful, meet lovely local people and hear their stories? If so, we would really appreciate your help just one or two days a week – we’ll more than cover your vehicle costs too! For those that don’t already know, the WiSE scheme provides a solution for people over 60 who are isolated or socially remote, enabling them to get to appointments, shop, meet friends and attend the wide variety of social activities that the Wetherby area has to offer. The volunteers already donating their time are really enjoying helping local people and learning a lived history from them. We really do need more drivers just like you…If you think you can help, know someone who could or if you’d like to find out more, please contact our WiSE Transport Coordinators, Bridget Tasker or Greg Webster by calling the WiSE office on 01937 222066. Alternatively please email them at transport@wise.org.uk
We would also like your help in making Wetherby a Dementia Friendly Community. Whether you’re an individual or a business, we have a forthcoming event that we’d love you to come along to – our Dementia Awareness Day. Currently there are 108 communities working to become dementia friendly, more than five times the original target of 20 set to be achieved by 2015 by the Prime Minister's challenge on dementia. Jeremy Hughes, Chief Executive of the Alzheimer's Society said: 'Life does not end when dementia begins. A dementia-friendly community is one in which people with dementia are empowered, and feel confident knowing they can contribute and participate in activities that are meaningful to them…Awareness and local support are essential to allow those with the condition to continue to enjoy life, through activities as everyday as visiting the local shop or using the local leisure facilities.' We hope you can join us…
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PILATES
PETER NORMAN Plumbing & Heating Limited Established 1993
Pilates is a form of exercise that works the core muscles, to improve posture and body tone, as well as mobility and flexibility. Moves are done slowly with control and precision. Classes at Bramham Village Hall
01937 843935
Tuesday 7.00 pm & 8.15 pm Wednesday 6.00 pm Friday 9.15am & 10.30am - Beginners This space is available
If you are interested in coming along please contact Fiona Harris
07906 937352 fionacharris@tiscali.co.uk
SIMON D. NOBLE (Dip C.L.C.M)
(Organist at Bramham Church)
Organist/Pianist & Accompanist QUALITY TUITION ON
Piano, Keyboard, Organ , Brass & Theory 1 Barleyhill Crescent, Garforth, Leeds LS25 1ED
0113 286 7998
Sybella De La Fontaine Mezzo Soprano
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0113 281 10 09 or 0795 620 3578 Parlington Lane, Aberford, West Yorks LS25 3EF
Mob:
0777 3233856
Web: andrewscottelectricalservces.co.uk
15 WISE CONTINUED
When: Friday 16th October from 9.30am – 2.00pm Where: Wetherby Town Hall Programme: 9.30am - Introductions and welcome 10.00am - Welcome by Alec Shelbrooke MP 10.30am - A powerful and positive performance of ‘The Cleverest Thief’ by Libby Wattis “Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief. She not only steals from you, but she steals the very thing that you need to remember, what’s been stolen” 11.30am - ‘The Cleverest Thief’ questions and answers 12 noon - ‘A Carer’s view’ 12.30pm - Emergency services presentation 1.00pm - Light lunch 2.00pm - Linda and Karen from WiSE present a Dementia Friends information session To register your interest for this FREE and very informative event, please contact our WiSE Project Manager, Neil Bellamy on 01937 588994.
BRAMHAM VILLAGE HALL 100 CLUB 2015 The full application form will be in the November Magazine. If you wish to join and you have had a number in previous years please send your cheque made payable to Restoration Fund BVH and send it to The Treasurer, Bramham Village Hall, Low Way. If you wish to pay be Electronic Transfer or Standing Order, please request details from the Treasurer by telephone on 07432 330972 or by email to bramhamvillagehallbookings@gmail.com Editors comment: Apologies for not including the whole form due to lack of space.
MONDAY CLUB For more information about the Monday Club please contact Mavis on:-
01937 842321 Meeting 5th October in the Village Hall 1.30 pm to 3.30 pm We would love to see some new Senior Citizens. Just come along and share a chat and a cup of tea. If you would like a lift please contact Mavis 842321
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Flowers by Philip
I am a freelance floral artist based at Bolton Percy. I offer a personalised creative design service for Weddings, Functions, Corporate Events, Funerals. I am happy for people to ring me to talk about their requirements, ideas or information. Because I work from my own workshop I have no overheads and charge realistic prices.
01904 744012 0774 2562097
or
E Mail: flowersbyphilip1@gmail.com
Tony Barker & Sons FUNERAL DIRECTORS est. over 100 years A Personal and Dignified Family Business Private Chapel of Rest at Boston Spa and Tadcaster
84 High Street, Boston Spa Tel: 01937
842574 or 832163
TOBY H JOHNSON LTD Professional Tree Surgery, Fencing and Garden Maintenance Specialists Are you looking for an experienced and reliable tree and garden expert? Then look no further than Toby H Johnson Ltd.
We offer a comprehensive array of services which can be Tailor made to suit individual client needs. From one off Jobs, annual garden autumn tidy-ups to all year round garden maintenance.
Tree Felling, Shaping, Stump Grinding Garden Fencing, Field Fencing, Decking, Turfing, Hedge Cutting, Grass Cutting, Garden Clearance
01904 607 899 - 07814 024 824 www.tobyhjohnsonltd.co.uk Follow us on Twitter: @Tree Monkies Facebook: Toby H Johnson Ltd Instagram: treemonkies
MICHAEL PAUL Ladies & Gents Hairdresser Front Street, Bramham Tel: 01937 842127 Appointments not always necessary
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HARVEST FESTIVAL WEEKEND 10th 2.00pm—6.00 pm Saturday. Sunday 11th 10.30 am Harvest Festival Service The entire village is invited to join us for the special Harvest Celebrations. Amongst the displays in the Village Hall on Saturday will be Bramham in Bloom, the Allotment Societies and the Monday Club . We look forward to seeing you all and do bring along anything you think will be of interest with reference to Harvest time .
Competitions for the children Miniature Garden 15” by 10” on a tray. Animal from fruit and veg. Flower Arrangement in Kitchen/Garden utensil –all entries in by 2.30pm As usual the Stepping Stones children will decorate Harvest Boxes and distribute to Senior Citizens in the Village who are unable to get to church. If you have anything suitable for the Harvest boxes do bring them along on Sunday morning to the Harvest Festival Service. We try to pack up small items, the prize cabbage and enormous leek will be superb for the Show bench, but our senior citizens prefer small items for their boxes, perhaps a homemade jar of jam, a small fruit loaf, or one or two freshly baked rolls and then we add fruit and vegetables from the Harvest displays in the church. For further information please ring Anne Palmer 842850 DIWALI DELIGHT SAA—UK AND Bramham Village Hall invite you to celebrate Diwali, the joyous Festival of Lights, in the Village Hall on Saturday 14th November 2015. Join us for an evening featuring Indian classical music and dance, and a contemporary group combinng the improvisational vibes of Indian ragas, Spanish flamenco and Arabic music. The evening will include a meal of authentic vegetarian Punjabi Cusine.
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WITH OVER 50 YEARS EXPERIENCE - THE 1ST CHOICE
Sandersons * Residential Removals
* Container Storage
* Shipping
* Office Removals
Tockwith 01423 358934
Bramham Mobile Hairdresser Fully qualified professional stylist for all your hair needs in the comfort of your own home. Cuts - Colours - Perms For bookings & enquiries call
STACEY 07854 501347 or 01937 541846
Open-
Monday & Tuesday 10.00 am - 5.00 pm Thursday & Friday 10.00 am - 5.00 pm Wednesday 11.30 am - 5.00 pm
As well as the repair and maintenance of PCs and Laptops, we also stock a range of PC consumables and offer additional services
more details can be found on our website. www.pcmediashop.co.uk 138A High Street, Boston Spa, LS23 6BW t: 01937 841393 e: info@pcmediashop.co.uk
FOREVER LIVING Aloe Vera Sometimes you can’t do things you want to, but the Aloe Vera products will help with a lot of health issues I can provide a 1-2-1 chat, a Pamper night or a session for charity
Christine by text only - 07857259657 or email: chrissie@msn.com
English & Maths Tuition Experienced tutor in English and Mathematics. Specialist in teaching students of all ages with SPLDs (Dyslexia, Dyspraxia) Available for exam revision or regular lessons Lynn Hathaway
01937 541612 or 07544 501478
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Sunday Services at Bramham All Saints’ for October 4th October
18th After Trinity
10.00 am Holy Communion
11th October
19th After Trinity
10.00 am Harvest Festival Service
18th October
20th After Trinity
10.00 am Holy Communion
25th October
Last After Trinity
8.00 am Holy Communion 10.00 am Holy Communion
Week Day Holy Communion Service on Friday 2nd October at All Saints’ Bramham 10.00 am Any alteration to Services will be announced in Church or detailed on the notice board
The following children who were baptised In All Saints’ Bramham celebrate their birthdays We wish them a Happy Birthday and every blessing 2nd October 2004 7th October 2008 8th October 2007 8th October 2003 9th October 2001 11th October 2002 11th October 2013 14th October 2007 14th October 2008 18th October 2001 19th October 2002 19th October 2004 22nd October 2009 23rd October 2007 28th October 2005
Matthew Francis Hodges Sophia Mary Grace Engley Bruce Harry Mackie Thomas Benjamin Bleanch Toby Charles Hibbert Ewan Andrew MacFarlane Imogen Zeta Spratt Charlie Courtman Mia Emily Fox Oliver George Newsome Connie Elizabeth Silverwood Isabella Faye Ridley Jean Margaret Verseld Matthew John Gilmore John Patrick Harrison
RING THE BELLS!! Bell practice nights at All Saints’ Bramham 13th and 27th October If you fancy the challenge, come along and join us, or phone
01937 844529
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PAUL BISSETT (T/A Mobile Foot Clinic Limited) Registered Foot Health Practitioner * * * * * * *
Assessment of foot condition Nails cut, filed & cleared Thickened nails reduced Ingrown & thickened nails treated Corns and hard skin carefully removed Advice & treatment of verruca & fungal infection Therapeutic foot massage after treatment
All in the comfort of your own home Hundreds of delighted clients in this area!
Paul Bissett
Tel 01937 530384 Mobile 07762 326123 contact@mobilefootcliniclimited.co.uk
Denture
Repairs
Wetherby Dental Laboratory 01937 588868 One hour service available
15 Bank Street Wetherby LS22 6NQ
Solutions for Quality of Life • • • • • • • • • •
Stairlifts Rise & Recline Chairs Powered Wheelchairs Scooters Specialist beds Wheelchairs Bathlifts Walking Aids Nursing aids Car adaption ……. And much more
SHOWROOMS AT: HARROGATE 01423 880882 and YORK 01904 690666
CALLING ALL EBAYERS If you are selling on ebay, would you consider donating a percentage of your item? You can donate 10% - 100% and 100% of all monies goes to maintaining our wonderful village church. If you can help, when listing your item, scroll down to:Raise money for your favourite charity through eBay, click or select another charity, Enter allsaintschurchbramham Enter Percentage, and off you go If you have any questions please email:-stephen@spentex.co.uk All Saints’ Church, Bramham now has an ebay account. EBayers will be able to order Hog Roast tickets etc online and have them delivered or ready for collection from the Village Store. If you want to order any Church related items through ebay, search for allsaintschurchbramham, and add to your favourite sellers list. We can then keep you updated, with new items. Thank you.
All Saints Church, Bramham VCC
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From the Book of Remembrance for
All Saints' Bramham On these days of the month of October please pray for the repose of the souls of:1st 2nd 3rd 4th 8th 9th 10th 11th
12th 14th 16th 17th 18th 20th 21st
23rd 25th 26th 27th 28th
29th
Ernest Albert Smith 2009 Ethel Randall 1983 Keith Philip Cook 1965 Harry Catton 1990 Ernest Joseph Rodway 1989 George Lane Fox Harry Sanderson 1970 Doris Jeffrey 1968 Gordon Lewis 1984 Gwen Boswell 1997 Raymond George Plummer 2008 Edward Daniel McKenna 2009 Leslie Frederick Field 1999 Reginald Bustard 2001 Jim Vincent Firth 1983 Laura Butler 1979 Ernest Hare 2001 Kenneth Clive Kitson 1994 John Charles Allenby 2007 Fanny Lunn 1955 Lynne Jacqueline Green 1976 Joseph Henry Clark 1988 Donald George Atkinson 2004 Ethel Hicks 1979 Charles Edward Daniells 1977 Leonard Morris Garwood 2003 Margaret Hargreaves 1986 Michael Campbell 1998 Dorothy Chapman 2005 Ethel Standridge 2010 Barbara Bottle 2010 Helen Marjorie Dixon 2006
The Blessed Sacrament is permanently reserved in All Saints' Bramham for the sick and dying. Rev’d Trish Anslow Tel: 01937 844789 or The Parish Office 01937 844402 would be grateful to receive the names of those who are sick or those needing a special visit..
READERS ROTA FOR OCTOBER Anyone who is unable to read on their allocated day, please contact Andy Beaumont on 541353 4th October Jacqui Turner 11th October Jennie Saynor 18th October Yvonne Gibson 25th October Jill Lawson
BAPTISM 2nd August Honey Hebbron WEDDING 1st August David Bates and Danielle Butler
BRASS BAND CONCERT 16th December BramhamPark
DO YOU WISH YOU COULD TALK TO SOMEONE IN CONFIDENCE? On the first Monday of each month there will be someone with many years of experience of helping the bereaved and people with other concerns sitting in Church. This is not Counselling, simply an understanding and confidential listener. Please call in between 10.00 am and 12 noon on the first Monday of each month if you would like to talk Mollie Browning
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BRAMHAM NSPCC Step back in time and join The Bramham Brat Pack for an Evening of Swing Saturday 17th October, 7 for 7.30pm Black and White dress code Welcome drink and a Bar 3 course meal
Raffle
Tickets £25 each
Please phone 01937 844688
Interior & Exterior Painting & Decorating Tadcaster North Yorkshire Tel: 01937 830827 Mob : 07799 201673 Free no obligation quote / all work fully guaranteed
Professional – Reliable – Affordable www.nvdecorating.co.uk
BRAMHAM PRIVATE HIRE 01937 541727 A family business offering a friendly reliable service based in Bramham and serving Wetherby and surrounding districts Climate Controlled Vehicle with Satellite Navigation
Schools : Pubs : Stations
Airports : Coast : Shops
4.30pm
We serve all the Airports and offer Coastal and longer runs at a very Competitive £1.15p per mile 7 days a week 364 days a year (excludes Boxing Day)
TADCASTER LICENSED PRIVATE HIRE AIRPORTS BUSINESS PLEASURE For a competitive rate and a friendly service
Call: Glen Ford 01937 833372
25 Bramham in Bloom - Yorkshire in Bloom
Its “GOLD� again Bramham has again received the highest award at the Yorkshire in Bloom Ceremony on the 8th September 2015. The Judges apart from commenting on the high standard of maintenance of the floral displays and the residential gardens, were very impressed with their visit to the Primary School which they said was a particular highlight of their day. The children demonstrated wide knowledge and confidence whilst talking to both judges. As they talked to many residents it was clear to them that the whole village was very much involved with the Bramham in Bloom initiative. This is an award for the Village and thank you to everyone who has taken part. You can read their full report on their website
BRAMHAM PARISH COUNCIL Congratulations to Ernest and Meryl Nichols and the Bramham in Bloom Team on such a fantastic, and well deserved achievement. On behalf of the village we would like to thank them all for their hard work, that makes such a difference to Bramham. Date of Next Meeting Wednesday 7th October 7.30pm in the Senior Citizens Centre.
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PAUL EAMES Plumbing & Heating Engineer
Your Local Glass Merchants *Mirror -Safety Glass *Full installation service *Bevelled Glass *Complete repairs service *Shop Fronts *U.PVC doors & windows *Greenhouse Glass *Fire Resistant Glass
Buy your double glazing units direct from us the manufacturers
6 Victoria Street, Wetherby LS22 6RE
Tel: 01937 585683
No Messing, Straight Forard, Now't Flash OW'T TO DO WI GAS, Call Me First on 01937 844108 - 07788 961928 WATTER OR OYL Boiler Bust? Gas Fire Had It? Burst Pipes? Dripping Taps? Call Me Any Time of Day or Night (Evening Service Available) No Daft Fees or Call-out Charges, Honest Reliable and Dead Cheap Also Good with Dogs Corgi and OFTEC Registered 201833 Water-Gas-LPG-Oil-Solid Fuel
Gary N Yates Painter & Decorator Over 30 years experience No job too small
All aspects of joinery, building, property alterations, improvements and repairs. • Doors • Windows • Loft Conversion • Extensions • Velux Skylights (5* Accredited Installers)
132 Prince Rupert Drive Tockwith YO26 7PU
Tel 07976 504767 Email: garyyatesdecorator@yahoo.com
• Roofing • Kitchens • GRP Flat Roofing FREE ESTIMATES OVER 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE
Tel: 01937 541540 Mobile: 07721 785800 email: gordon@rgsjoineryandbuilding.co.uk www.rgsjoineryandbuilding.co.uk
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Bramham in Bloom AGM Thursday the 29th October 7.30 in the Village Hall
Supper Room
Following on from the Extra Ordinary Meeting hopefully people will have had time to reflect on matters or issues that were raised at that time. Please come along and bring a friend with you who may be interested to find out more information and be willing to help in many different ways. Many people are involved already but we do need more. IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR RESIDENTS AND GARDENERS TO BE THERE AS THE FUTURE OF BRAMHAM IN BLOOM DEPENDS ON YOU Please remember Volunteers are not paid Not because they are worthless
But because they are “priceless”
Please stay after the meeting and have a glass of wine to celebrate our Y in B Gold Award
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H.C.TOWNSEND & SON Funeral Directors incorporating
G.E. HARTLEY & SON LTD
ZxÉÜzx ^|àv{xÇ Éy UÜtÅ{tÅ
The Complete Funeral Service
Family Run Business est.1927
A Family Run Business Est. 1808
* Dignified, Caring and Professional Service * Personal Attention Day or Night * Private Chapel of Rest * Pre-funeral Arrangements Tailored to your needs
Tel: 01423 871110 www.hctownsend.co.uk Oakfield House, Tofts Lane, Follifoot, Harrogate HG3 1DY
• 24 Hour Personal Service • Private Chapels Of Rest • Monumental Masonry • Pre-paid Funeral Plans
THORNER: 0113 2892354 GARFORTH: 0113 2862980 WETHERBY: 01937 588888 26 Main Street, Thorner, Leeds, LS14 3DX
CLIFFORD MOOR FARM
kate mell FLOW ERS, HOME & GARDEN Large upstairs showroom brimming with gorgeous gifts and inspirational ideas
PETS HOTEL
20 years experience in pet care – share in that experience All pets incl. Dogs, Cats, Rabbits, Guinea Pigs etc Family run - Vet recommended All heated + individual outdoor runs Dogs twice daily field walks
DOGGY DAY CARE AVAILABLE A collection & drop off service can be arranged
Full, Part, DIY and Holiday Livery Tel: 01937 844929 or email: info@cliffordmoorfarm.co.uk
160 High Street, Boston Spa LS23 6BW
01937 841415 www.katemell.co.uk Find us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter
Free phone: 0800 4370525 or Mobile: 07764 199697
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CRIME PREVENTION NEWSLETTER DO YOU HAVE ADEQUATE SECURITY? A crime pattern has emerged over the past years of House Burglaries being committed where forcing the lock on UPVC doors has been the method of entry. UPVC doors and its associated 'Euro profile Lock' are fitted to many houses and many older locks may be below current standards. New 'Anti Snap' locks have been developed and these improved locks are now available as retro fit to existing UPVC doors, TS 007 3* Standard. Reduce the risk of Burglary in your home by using this 5 point check list. Do you have‌. A 5 lever BS3621 sashlock/deadlock fitted to your main wooden door? A 5 lever BS3621 sashlock or mortice bolts fitted to your other wooden doors? An up to date snap / break secure cylinder fitted to all UPVC and composite doors? Locking handles and a shootbolt locking system on all your UPVC windows? Key operated locks fitted to all windows? For more information contact your local Crime Reduction Officer on 1 0 1 You may also ring this number to arrange a free Home Security check by your local Police Officer Remember if you see something happening you think is not right then call 999 immediately. Non Urgent calls 1 0.1 Did you know you that in West Yorkshire you can report MINOR CRIME ONLINE: and request a callback or report lost property, all via our website http:// www.westyorkshire.police.uk Please remember the Wetherby Crime Prevention Panel are available to give talks to your group, large or small, mornings, afternoon or evenings. Simply contact the Chairman on the details below to arrange an appointment. Thank you Maureen Brewer Chair gen@kalsom.co.uk or maureen.brewer@westyorkshire.pnn.police.uk
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Physiotherapy
YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT DOG WALKER Bryony Law 01937 339413
and
Sports & Injury Clinic AMANDA BUCH Bsc. (Hons) MCSP. SRP.OCPPP Dip.Inj.Th
Now available at Trainfx Thorp Arch Specialist in all Musculoskeletal Conditions inc: sports injuries, spinal problems, repetitive strain injuries, biomechanical problems, arthritis, acupuncture & rehabilitation back to sport.
To book an appointment or for information tel:
0796 8051012 Evening and Weekend appointments available
New customers & Senior Citizens receive a 10% discount www.bramhampoochpatrol.co.uk bryony@bramhampoochpatrol.co,uk
Kate Lofthouse ITEC IIHHT IEB CThA Massage Reflexology Indian Head Massage Seated Acupressure
Member of the organisation of Chartered Physiotherapists in Private Practice. Registered with all major Insurance Companies and Hospital Funds.
A word that many of my clients use to describe how they feel at the end of their treatment is “AMAZING”!
For details & prices Tel: Bramham 01937 541678 Email: katelofthouse@live.co.uk
JOIN THE FUN ! ‘The Fitness League’ in Bramham Village Hall Suitable all ages & all abilities Exercise to music. - Good for body and mind - Make new friends. Morning classes: Thursday 9.15 – 10.15 a.m. Other classes available in Wetherby - Monday & Tuesday. Fully qualified teacher - for more information:
contact Yvonne Gibson 845084 Established supplier of embroidered and printed clothing to schools, clubs, companies, pubs and all organisations.
For the most competitive prices and widest range contact us now Unit 6a, Guardian Park, Station Road Industrial Estate, Tadcaster.
Tel: 01937 833449 Web site: www.apc-clothing.co.uk
ROOM 11 NAILS & BEAUTY Looking Good on the Outside Feels Great on the Inside
Newly refurbished beauty rooms above Michael Paul Hair Salon, 1 Front Street, Bramham Treatments:
Acrylic & Gel Nails, Shellac, Minx, Manicure, Pedicure, Waxing, Threading, Brow & Lash Tinting, Lash Extensions, Facials, Micro Dermabrasion, Micro Current, Massage (including Hot Stone), Hopi Ear Candling, Spray Tanning, Make-Up Application Call Gail to discuss your requirements on 07977 194 896
15% discount on first treatment
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BRAMHAM FUN RUN The Bramham Park Fun Run Sunday 4th October, starts at 10.30 - 5km & 10km routes, families welcome. Why not come and join in, this event offers a rewarding and enjoyable morning in the heart of Bramham Park, one of Yorkshire’s beautiful estates. The routes are on tarmac/ muddy surfaces. Runners/walkers welcome. All money raised from this event will go to the local Leeds Cancer centre in aid of Cancer Research UK. Please visit the website www.bramhamparkfunrun.org.uk or contact Bev on 07774633619 for more details. Beverley Firth
YORKSHIRE COUNTRYWOMEN’S ASSOCIATION
There was no official meeting in August but on the 18th we enjoyed a very pleasant Afternoon thanks to our Chairman, Mrs Topping, with scrumptious Strawberry and cream scones and copious cups of tea for at least 20 of us in her home. Unfortunately wet weather kept us out of the garden. Many thanks from us all to Anne and Paul and helpers, especially the scone providers. Our meeting in October is an Open Meeting when all are welcome to join us to watch a Candle Making Demonstration by Mr Bob Hurst. The meeting is at 7.15 pm in the Supper Room of the Village Hall on October 21st, and there will be refreshments and a raffle.
BRAMHAM READERS GROUP Next meeting is in The Swan on 5th October 7.30pm
The Hundred -Year -Old Man Who Climbed Out Of The Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson Contact Marion 844191 or Jillian 844858
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BRAMHAM VILLAGE STORE PERMANENT POSITION AVAILABLE, PART TIME HOURS Due to a member of staff relocating, we now require a mature, responsible person to join the team in our small convenience store. Responsibilities – Sorting papers and paper rounds, putting on sale daily delivered bread and milk, serving customers and stocking shelves amongst other day to day activities in our busy little convenience store. Working alternate weeks of mixed early morning starts and evening finishes -19 hours over 3 days alternated with 25 hours over 4 days (these days/hours can be discussed) Applicant must be willing to work some full time hours occasionally to cover staff holidays. If you would be interested in joining our friendly little team please call in or
Bramham Poppy Appeal 2016 A volunteer needed to cover door to door collecting. If you would like to help to cover an area, Bill Ison is anxious to hear from you. Tel: 585968
In case of need, St Mary’s Church Boston Spa can now provide vouchers for Wetherby & District Foodbank. These can be obtained from the Parish Office or any of the clergy team, in the strictest of confidence. The Parish Office is open every weekday
from 11am to 1pm. Tel: 01937 844402 Vouchers can be taken to Wetherby and District Foodbank Barleyfields Youth Centre Barleyfields Road WETHERBY - LS22 6PN
07840 455 725 The Foodbank is open from 10.00 until 12 noon on Tuesdays and Fridays.
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WHAT’S ON IN BRAMHAM 5th October 10th October 11th October 17th October 23rd October 25th October 29th October 14th November
Monday Club 1.30pm Readers Group 7.30pm The Swan Harvest Displays Village Hall 2.00pm Harvest Festival service 10.30 am NSPCC Evening of Swing 7– 7.30pm Callagham Village Hall 7.30pm Lotherton Hall Young Artists Recital Bramham in Bloom AGM 7.30pm Diwali Delight 7.00pm (see Sept Mag)
LOTHERTON HALL ABERFORD - YOUNG ARTISTS RECITAL SUNDAY 25TH October Michael Foyle, Violin, and Maksim Stsura, Piano, play works by Beethoven, Frank, Elgar and Fritz Kreisler. Michael and Maksim appear by kind permission of the Royal Northern College of Music,Manchester. Followed by tea and cakes in the Servants’ Gallery. Tickets include tea , cakes and admission £12.50, Concessions £11.00. Family (2 children and 2 adults) £20. Car parking free with pre booked tickets. Available f rom Wendy Shuttleworth, Lotherton Hall. Aberford, Leeds LS25 3EB. Please enclose S A E CHEQUES PAYABLE TO Leeds City Council.
BRAMHAM VILLAGE STORE and POST OFFICE Please take the opportunity to call in to see us, we provide:Post Office services, FREE cash withdrawal facility at the post office Lottery, Scratch card and Health Lottery purchases Newspapers and newspaper delivery service Fresh daily bread, milk and other morning goods General groceries, frozen foods and ice creams Dairy products, sandwiches, snacks and confectionary Local farm eggs delivered Fridays, fresh fruit and vegetables on Thursdays Tobacco, chilled beers, wines, spirits and soft drinks Greetings cards, stationary and general accessories Mobile phone, Gas and Electricity top up’s, cash back facility Dry Cleaning drop off/collection service Mondays and Thursdays Lynn, Marie, Louise, Tracey and Stacey will be happy to help and serve you. Village Store Mon-Fri. 06.00-19.30 Saturday 07.00-19.30 Sunday 07.00-12.30 Bank Hols 07.00-12.30
Post Office 09.00-17.30 09.00-12.30 Closed Closed
12 Front Street, Bramham LS23 6RD - Tel: 01937 842275
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Please mention this magazine when calling Advertisers Window Cleaning and Garden Maintenance NO JOB TOO SMALL Fully insured, invoices available, friendly local service Free no obligation quotes
call Dave Metcalfe on 07724 721455
Windows UPVC Conservatories Fascia Lawn Mowing Hedge Trimming Gutter Clearance Power Washing Leaf clearing Weed removal
ALL SAINTS’ CHURCH OPEN DOOR SCHEME The first Draw for the 2015-2016 Open Door Scheme will be made on 10th October. If you would like your name to be added to the Draw please contact Anne Palmer. £10 for the year and there are 4 prizes of £100 each and an extra prize at Christmas of £25. All proceeds are donated to the Church to assist with the general running costs of church just to keep the Door Open. Application forms at the back of Church or please ring Anne 01937 842850.
Callaghan www.callaghamsongs.com “a wonderful artist, beautiful warm and hugely talented. The reaction to her music on my shows has been fantastic”. Bob Harris BBC Radio 2 Supported by Malaika Shaw Friday 23rd October 2015 Bramham Village Hall 7.30 pm Doors Open
8.00 pm Music
Bar
Tickets £10available from Bramham Post Office or Sheila Clayton 01937 842954 Raising funds for Arthritis Research UK
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WETHERBY RUFC After a terrific last season, Wetherby were one of six nominations for National Team of the year. 40 players and supporters attended a dinner at Twickenham on September 2nd for the presentation and there was much celebration when Wetherby won. This is a huge honour for the Club particularly when several years ago we struggled to raise a team. This season Wetherby started where they left off with a 68-22 win at Stocksbridge having been promoted to Yorkshire 3. This season’s first team Captain is Danny Warden taking over from James Gibson, the Crusaders (2nd Team) Captain is Graham Bulmer all from Bramham. The Junior Section had their registration on September 6th. The Club run teams at every age group from under 5, the youngsters start with fun and games with a rugby theme progressing to full 15 a side at under 13, all are welcome meeting each Sunday at 10 am. Over 450 children, boys and girls registered last year, many from Bramham. Senior Fixtures for October: 3rd Crusaders v Yarnbury 10th Ists v Leeds Modernians 17th
Crusaders v Selby
24th 1sts v Bramley Phoenix All are welcome. Admission is free, kick off 3pm. Bob Gibson Treasurer
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Useful Telephone Numbers Articles for the Police Non emergency - incident already taken place 101 November (including burglary) magazine should be sent to: Police Incident actually happening (including burglary) 999 Police Support Officer for Bramham)…... ……. 0113 2855374 bramham.magazine@gmail.com by Doctor - Boston Spa ……………………….…. 01937 842842 Doctor - Bramham ……………….…………… 01937 845854 14th October York & District Hospital…………………...…… 01904 631313 or Harrogate District Hospital………………....….. 01423 885 959 Tel: Gill: 01937 843129 St James Hospital……………………............... 0113 243 3144 or Leeds Infirmary…………………………………. 0113 243 2799 Anne: 01937 842850 Seacroft Hospital…………………………….…. 0113 264 8164 Train Enquiries………………………………….. 0845 748 4950 Mobile Library Leeds City Council (general enquiries)……….. 0113 222 4444 LCC Social Services (children)…………….….. 0113 222 4403 The weekly visit of the library LCC Social Service (adults)……………….…... 0113 222 4401 to Bramham is on LCC Refuse and Pest Control……………..…. 0113 222 4406 Mondays LCC Benefits Advice & Council Tax ……..…. 0113 222 4404 1.30 pm to 2.30 pm LCC Highway faults,Pot Holes,Street Ltg,Drains… 0113 222 4407 in Lyndon Road LCC Parking Services……………………..…... 0113 395 0050 LCC Planning Dept………………………..……. 0113 222 4409 British Gas Emergencies………………………. 0800 111 999 Yorkshire Electricity Emergencies………..…... 0800 375 675 Yorkshire Water, Day & Night ……………....... 0845 124 2424 Metro Bus Enquiries……………...……….……. 0113 245 7676 What you do not want National Express Buses……………………..…. 0870 580 8080 done to yourself, do not Noise complaints out of office hours………….. 0113 240 7361 do to others. Wetherby Library……………………………..…. 01937 583144 Boston Spa Library…………………………...... 01937 845239 Confucius NHS Direct…………………………………..….. 0845 46 47 Chemist - Cohen's Boston Spa…………….. 01937 842985 Citizens Advice Bureau (Crossgates)……...… 0844 477 4788
Thought for the month
THE SMILE FOR OCTOBER
A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf, but she won’t admit it” The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is." The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her. Finally, she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!"