APM Issue 7

APM SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

12

TABLE OF CONTENTS F ROM

THE EDITOR…

As the season changes we approach many new beginnings, however ,there are still current challenges that we have to face.

I would like to encourage you ladies to take a break and let go of some of that pressure you have been holding on to. Once you are refreshed with a new mindset, you can be ready to tackle any task with new inspiration.

We have some exciting news this month, and that is that we would like to introduce our new writer Pippa Hanson. She will touch on her personal journey and inspire you in many ways.

2 What is Listening to Your Heart

LAUREN JOBSON

helen treloar

LIFE COACH

BUSINESS 14 Anti-Marketing Wins That You Need to Grow

Kirsten BASFORD ANTI- MARKETING

4 4 A Beginner’s Guide to Eating Clean

14

Hayley MartIn NUTRITION

Be Kind, Courageous and Confident.

Taylah Parker Editor

6 How to Exercise Through Summer’s Heat

HELEN JOMOA

editor@apeacefulmind.com.au

17 Never Stop Believing

book revIew

FITNESS

SALLY OBERMEDER

18 Ask Me the Right Questions

8 3 Keys to Maintain Momentum & Avoid Overwhelm

pENNY VOTZOURAKIS

12 You Are Not What You Do

MAREE EDDINGS ENERGY

CUSTOMER SERVICE

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

32 24 P I P P A H A N S O N

32 Work Life Balance – Fact or Fiction A PERSONAL JOURNEY

ADVERTISE WITH US Email your ad for approval to editor@apeacefulmind.com.au $60 per issue – direct link to your web site

WRITE FOR US

22 The Secrete to Maintaining an Organised Life

LENA TURVEY

26

PRODUCTIVITY 24 Does Size Really Matter?

BECKIE WHITE

34 Rebellion and Influence

STYLIST

SOUL FOOD

26 Traffic Generation – Strategy Planning (Part 1 – 4)

HELEN TRELOAR

36 Fighting Fair – The ‘How To’

JULIE BOURKE TECHNOLOGY

AMANDA MALLIA

THE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE 38 Sarah Moore

28 The Emperor Has No Clothes Elizabeth Kenny (1880 – 1952)

j o a n n e c l a r k NLP

GUEST WRITER EMPOWERED ALLERGY LIVING

Would you love to be a guest writer for APM? We are always looking for fabulous content that is suitable for Women that Educates ~ Inspires ~ Informs and grows our knowledge and choices.

ENGAGE WITH US

HELP US TO HELP OTHERS

Our APM Experts …

Maree Eddin gs

Hayley Martin Lauren Jobson Life Coach tips and techniques to move you towards your goals in life

Helen Treloar Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME & start-ups

Beckie Wh ite Style your wardrobe & your life using Beckie’s secrets & suggestions

Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate your health

Helen Jomoa Fitness strategies and interesting facts to boost your vitality

Kirsten Basford The anti-marketing marketing guru magnifying your brand

Pen n y Votzourakis Customer service advice to grow sales and client loyalty

Julie Bourke Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and protect it well

Joan n e Clark Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in History’ pieces

Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power

Len a Turvey Productivity and organisation queen bringing you tips and techniques

Aman da Mallia Go behind the curtain and into the male mind with Amanda

PIPPA HANSON Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a business owner, mother and wife

She leaves a little

Sparkle wherever she goes

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

WHAT IS LISTENING TO YOUR HEART Lauren Jobson – LIFE COACH

I feel that we are programmed to be in our heads

Secondly, the part of our minds that we are aware

more than our hearts; programmed to listen to that

of, where that inner voice resides, is in what we

voice inside our head and follow it like it's the only

can refer to as our conscious mind. And it is just

truth. Maybe it's easier for us to do this because of

that; the part of our mind that we are aware of.

the programming from our environments.

The thing about this is that it is only 4% or so of our entire mind's capacity. The rest of our

Some of the reasons influencing our

potential exists in our most amazing minds, in the

environmental programming are;

parts that we are just unaware of. You may of

Firstly, we are told 'to think'. We are asked "what do you want?" and the easy response is to think about the answer and then have an understanding

of what we think we “should” want.

heard this to be our subconscious mind or unconscious mind, these are the same thing, we could call it anything really, our hidden mind, our unaware mind...

TWO

4 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

What's important about this is that out of all the

behave - unless that thought has made us feel a

amazing things I could tell you that our

particular way at the same time.

unconscious mind does for us, for now, I want to focus on sharing with you that this is where your emotions/feelings come from, where your behaviour functions from and to say the least, the place where you are most connected to your highest potential.

A fleeting thought doesn’t have much energy as these particular thoughts are without form. If we asked you where your thoughts came from doubtless you would point to your head. And yet your head has a boundary whilst thoughts are boundless. You actually choose with your imagination what you think about in every

So would it be useful to be able to connect to that

moment. You then put that thought back from whence

part of you that is coming from the best of who

it came and pick another one that you prefer (or have

you are and to function from a place of your

habitually programmed yourself to think). Your

highest potential?

feelings on the other hand are experienced in your body. This is the place from where you do all of your

Now if you answered yes then there is one simple

living in the material world. Your feelings are where

step you can do to connect more deeply within

you live.

yourself, to follow your heart, your unconscious mind and that is to stop thinking so much and feel

Neville Goddard wrote a number of books on this

your feelings.

principle way back in 1944, one of which was titled “Feeling is the Secret”. He said:

“A feeling is so much stronger than a thought.”

-Bono

“That which you feel yourself to be you are, and you are given that which you are. So assume the feeling

Perhaps you’ve observed how a thought can do

that would be yours were you already in possession

amazing things to your body. A great example of

of your wish, and your wish must be realised…So live

this is when you get butterflies in your stomach.

in the feeling of being the one you want to be and that

Or when you are really tired and think you

you shall be.”

couldn’t possibly do anything more, then something really inspires you and suddenly you

“Every Feeling makes an unconscious

have endless amounts of energy in your body.

impression…What you feel you are always dominates

Now thoughts are certainly powerful, but what

what you feel you would like to be; therefore, to be

would a thought be without any feeling or emotion

realised, the wish must be felt as a state that is rather

following it?

than a state that is not.”

It’s quite incredible how many thoughts you can

To summarise, whatever it is that you want to

have in just a short amount of time and how they

manifest, you must always assume the feeling within

come and go so fleetingly throughout the day. It

your heart and genuinely feel the love that your

has been estimated that we have at least 70,000

manifestation brings to you. Imagine yourself already

thoughts in a day! So how many emotions do you

having / being / doing and you will, as Neville states,

go through in a day? Chances are (unless you

be in a place where your wish must be realised –

are a small child) that you haven’t felt 70,000

such is the power of your feelings.

feelings in that time. This is because a fleeting thought doesn’t have much affect on how we experience our world and consequently how we

All my love & faith in your potential,

Lauren

THREE

Hayley Martin - Nutrition

A Beginner’s Guide to Eating Clean

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

As I tell all my clients, when making changes to their eating habits and lifestyle, take it one step at a time – don’t rush to incorporate everything 3. BE ‘UP YOURSELF’ ABOUT at once. My advice is always to take INGREDIENTS one or two adjustments a week and That’s right! Know what’s in your really focus on that, turning it into a food and where it’s coming from. ‘healthy habit’ before adding on the Check out labels – not for the next in your overhaul to finding your amount of calories but for what’s own ‘true form (of) health’. actually in the product. Ideally, it’s Personally, I’d rather be successful best if the ingredient list contains 6 or and thrive with just one of these than less items and if you don’t know what be mediocre at a bunch of them and I that word is with the 20 syllables, want the same for you. best skip that too.

Here’s some tips that I use daily and share with my clients to assist them 4. EAT THE RAINBOW I’ve said before and I’ll say it again – in making small adjustments each the benefits of eating a natural array week on their journey to overall of colour is that you’ll be receiving an wellbeing. awesome variety of key nutrients.

1. BE BRAVE! Step outside your comfort zone.

5. THE FARMERS MARKET IS YOUR Try different vegetables – FRIEND something you’ve never heard of, Make a date with this ‘friend’ each eaten or cooked yourself. Get week and keep it! It’s usually a great creative in the kitchen with atmosphere and you’ll be thanking different, ‘out of the ordinary’ yourself for these visits when your meals, add spices, try different enjoying your fresh produce - short combinations of food. You might and long term. It comes back to even surprise yourself with how knowing where your food is sourced much fun you have or find a new from. favourite meal, add variety to your go-to healthy snacks or create a recipe that you love and can’t believe you’d never pleasured It’s difficult to say stay away from your taste buds, mind and body everything processed as unfortunately with before! almost all foods that aren’t in their natural state have been processed to 2. GREEN GOALS! varying degrees, but a helpful tip is too In what I like to call ‘crowding out’, avoid mass-produced foods. Find the adding greens into your diet will better versions of these and you’ll likely leave less room for processed be making your body a happy one junk. You’ll be receiving good through more nourishing ingredients nutrients to keep you full, and better taste (always a bonus!) energized and nourished.

To your health & happiness,

Hayley

FIVE

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

How To Exercise Through Summer's Heat Tips for Beating the Heat

Helen Jomoa⏐FITNESS Exercising outside in the Summer is

Clothing - Try tops made of synthetic,

good fun, but it takes extra effort to

moisture wicking fabrics, which will keep

push through the heat and humidity.

you cooler. Cotton tends to absorb

Here are some things worth

moisture and can lead to rubbing. Many

considering to improve your

women, myself included, like to train in

enjoyment.

long leggings, which are great for preventing chafing, but can be hot. I find

Temperature - Exercise during the coolest part of the day, before the sun comes up or in the evening. If you need to exercise during the day,

‘Skins’ the coolest. If you prefer to wear running shorts in summer you can apply anti-chafe such as Bodyglide, or Vasaline. Apply it before your work out.

choose the shade.

Drink – Drink about 20 minutes before Sunburn – Use a lightweight ventilated cap to shade your face and a high factor sunscreen. Take care when applying sunscreen to your forehead, as sweat or water can make it run into your eyes.

Eyes - Lightweight sunglasses help protect your eyes from the glare, especially from sand or water.

Lightweight glasses stop them bouncing around sliding down your

you exercise and take small sips throughout your session. Drinking small amounts of water regularly will be absorbed more easily than large quantities. Too much water will be uncomfortable and slosh around in your stomach giving you a stitch. Heavy sweating leads to a loss of salts in the body, so a good sports drink may be good after your session. Remember to drink when you finish.

nose.

SIX

4 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Heat Stress – Heat stress is when your

In summary, when training in hot

body cannot cool itself enough to maintain

weather, don’t over estimate your

a healthy temperature. Over exertion in

fitness and be realistic about your

hot weather and certain medical

ability. Acknowledge that the heat will

conditions (e.g. infection, being

slow you down, but be reassured that

overweight, dehydrated from drinking too

your fitness will still be improving.

much alcohol or being sleep deprived) can increase your risk of heat stress.

Symptoms of Heat Stress – Head ache and nausea, general confusion, muscle

Have fun!

Helen

cramps, feeling faint, excessively rapid breathing or unusual heart beat. If you feel these symptoms, stop and cool down (pour cold water over yourself, use wet towels) seek medical attention if necessary.

SEVEN

3 Keys to Maintain

Momentum & Overwhelm

EIGHT

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Avoid Overwhelm Maree Eddings ⏐ Energy

I had the privilege last week to be a

It was like watching life. We all have

sponsor at a women’s wellness festival,

access to so much information on a daily

Seven Sisters.

basis. There is no way we can actually get

About 1800 women all in one place for three days.

There was a plethora of information sessions, workshops, group activities, stalls, yummy food, music and connection.

Lots and lots of connection.

It was amazing to observe the transformation in these women from day one to day three. They were lighter, happier; there was more laughter, dancing, hugging and miles of smiles by day three.

I personally met some fascinating women.

Thanks to those who stopped by and experienced a bit of what S.E.X.I means.

As day three was coming to an end and I was watching these women be more of who they really are. Feeling and looking

to all of it, access all of it or be aware of all of it.

I am a believer in immersion; it is the absolute ingredient that is needed to shift anything. The challenge with immersion is that while the high is high trying to maintain that momentum can be challenging when you try to do it at the same time as the rest of your life!

With momentum of immersion comes the triggering of overwhelm. Feelings of inadequacy and any chances you have of actually taking something in, to shift whatever it is you want to shift, is eradicated.

So here are three keys to maintaining momentum and avoiding overwhelm: 1. It’s all about intention.

free, being open, thinking of all the

Setting an intention will help your brain sort

possibilities they now have. New

and chunk the information it is receiving.

information, new experiences, new friends and new connection, to self and to others.

On a daily basis we are bombarded with

It got me thinking...

more than 2 million pieces of information.

There is no way your brain can actually

So what do we do when the festival is

take in all of that, so it does this cool thing

over?

called chunking.

NINE

4 3 5

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

When you chunk, you can take

to that recurring problem I have

receive. So if you missed a

in as much information as

with my sister.

workshop, didn’t get to that

possible and if you have an

intention up front, your brain will look for the stuff that matches your intention.

To be able to chunk effectively your brain deletes, distorts and generalises things. To do this well it looks for things that you need now. Hence the intention.

massage or speak to that healer, Notice the difference?

its okay; what you got is what you were meant to get!

When you have a clear intention then your brain via its RAS (your

Trust me, it's good you got what

internal GPS system for tracking

you needed.

stuff you need) will jump into action. It will bring all those things

3. Conscious Action Planning.

that you need to match your intention to your attention and get

Like any good intention when it’s

rid of the rest.

backed up with active planning you can actually incorporate what

If you have never set an 2. Trust that what you need is

you need and make the shift you

always available.

wanted to make.

When we immerse ourselves,

Here is the trick. It is in the

even on a normal day, we can be

implementation that overwhelm

led to believe that unless we do

loves to lurk... laying low waiting to

certain things, we will miss out.

pounce!

If you think about it, it is

Just like we cannot ever get

impossible for you to ever be

across everything that we see,

across everything. If you are

hear, touch etc we also cannot

My intention is to try something

increasing the amount of

implement everything, even with

new that will help me relax.

information that you are being

the best of intentions.

intention, don’t worry its not as 'woo woo' as it sounds. It could be something like this: My intention is to be open and curious to things that make me laugh.

My intention is to work on feeling more open.

exposed to (like at a festival) you My intention is to connect with as

are also increasing your chances

What you can do is plan

many people as possible that

of triggering overwhelm!

with compassion and kindness to yourself.

talk about energy.

One way to make sure that Get the drift?

We can get tripped up when we think an intention is an outcome, something like this:

doesn’t happen and stay on track

Real shift and change comes from

to your intention, is to TRUST that

committing to a process not being

what you need right now will be

attached to the outcome.

obvious to you and you will always have access to what you need.

To do this effectively, sit back and observe what it is that you learnt

My intention is to never feel this

You can never miss out and you

during the festival, conference,

crappy again.

can never know everything.

course, conversation (whatever it was) and pick up the one main

My intention is to finally get rid of

What you can do is be open to

theme that is obvious to you.

XX.

whatever take-aways you got are

What is the main activity that is

My intention is to find the answer

the ones you were meant to

attached to that theme. Plan how

TEN

60 7 8 9

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

you can implement that one thing for a period of time as often and in as

many places as you can.

Here’s an example: Just say one of the main themes that come up is letting go of control. Now you may have come across 8 different ways to do this. They may include, mindfulness, breathing exercises, chanting, dancing, organic food, time management techniques, massage, Reiki, the list could go on.

Now all of these may be valid and will all assist with you letting go of control, however it is not reasonable for you to try to do all of them. You may have enjoyed all of them and all of them made you feel great, however it is impractical to think you could do all of them in your daily life. In trying to do so you increase the risk of doing none of them and you are back to where you started.

So pick one – breathing exercises. You have learnt a couple of good ones that are easy and give you that

do it – in bed, in a corner of a room,

Overwhelm is the killer of desired

in front of window (whatev's).

shifts, so be kind to you, set yourself

• What time of the day you are going

to do it.

• What resources do you need to

up for success, regardless of what your EGO mind is telling you. 5 minutes a day of something that is

'grounded' feeling that you feel it

support you. Is it a CD, a cushion,

connected to an intention, that is

is okay to let go of having to be

headphones so others wont

focused on making a shift to allow

in control.

interrupt you, even if you don’t have

you to feel lighter, is enough.

any music on?

Here’s to keeping the festival going.

• Make a commitment to

implement a process where

Once you feel that you now have a

you do this every morning for

routine in place that you look forward

5 minutes.

to and it is giving you the desired

• Find a place where you will

effect, add to it or not.

Have fun, enjoy and Stay S.E.X.I

Maree ELEVEN

1 2 3

Helen Treloar - BUSINESS

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

YOU ARE NOT WHAT

Your business or the position you hold in

When that leader is the owner of a small

a business or company is not you.

enterprise; there usually comes a point in time when the business that was once a

It has been my experience as a Success Coach for Business and Executives, that professional people become entangled in their role. Identity becomes defined by what they DO as opposed to who they ARE. They gain certainty and validation and even significance from a role executed well and often lose confidence and self esteem when it goes horribly wrong.

The more recognition they receive for their responsibilities, the more they rise to the occasion and seek to take more on. And so the rise and rise of the self employed or executive leader plays out. On the rise the emotions are positive, even when under pressure. As long as there is forward momentum, the challenges of time and performance and multiple deadlines and outcomes can be justified and managed.

joy and a ticket to financial and lifestyle freedom, can become a noose around the owners neck. Never did they create a successful and clear exit strategy, as they

challenges this leader is not aligned with their purpose or passion and this executive also feels trapped by the financial gains of the role. Who are they without the role? What else can they do to earn the same or more income?

were so caught up in getting the business off the ground and turning over a healthy

Money makes money. You'd think that

consistent income in order to stay afloat,

when money starts to flow in on a

to pay wages and to maintain credibility.

consistent basis, the business owner

Now they feel trapped by their business

would step back a little, or at least

rather than freed by it. There is a feeling

release the pressure of chasing more

of being stuck. The choices have

and new. Quite the contrary. Now

disappeared.

comes the fear. Fear of losing or not having enough. We humans have this

When the leader is an executive, the rise and rise to higher leadership positions becomes a path in a game that can become challenging to play successfully.

Personal values and ethics can clash with

neat ability to morph into the new situation and take-on the characteristics that make it the new 'norm'. Our lifestyle swells and retracts in line with the income we earn.

the required behaviour of the leader to retain the leadership position. Unsaid

Early business days saw plans of

expectations of the employer can cause

turning over $30,000 a month as being

family strains. The position that

a super outcome that would buy freedom, and now the business is turning over $50,000 a month the lifestyle of the owner has moved to meet it. Now $50,000 is the new minimum monthly figure required and so the pressure goes and grows.

Business owners and executives can struggle through these change cycles and their sense of self become lost in the mix of what they need to

do. They forget who they are and what life is all about for them. They have

4 6 5

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015 •

YOU DO

Have a healthy sense of humour when it comes to titles and the shackles of success. They are all 'things'; shiny

buttons, if you will. Be mindful of the changes you are making to your

lifestyle and knowingly make decisions about bigger ticket items and the pressures they may add to your life to attain and maintain them.

•

Seek to be in a place where you are exchanging your working time for an income, that lights you up and

moved so far away from what truly

•

matters to them that there can be a

do. Who you are is the frame upon

sense of frustration and anxiety even

which all else stands. You

regret and guilt at the thought of the

can do whatever you decide to do.

'missed' opportunities or family events.

Who you are stands consistent in all situations. When our sense of

To the outside world looking in, they

happiness comes from external

have 'made it,' they are successful.

sources (titles, responsibilities, money, cars...) our self esteem is on

When that position or business is lost, by choice or failure to retain the position, they feel deflated and even rejected. 'Completely lost' and 'failure' or 'pretender' or ' fraud' are words commonly used by clients in this position, when explaining how they feel about the fall or move away from professional leadership. A questioning process begins; what was it all for? The sacrifices they have made to retain the role that is now gone or meaningless

rocky ground. Find happy within you.

•

connects your purpose to your

Separate who you are from what you

Have an exit plan. Never become reliant upon what you do now as your only source of income. If you own your business, have the plan to exit that business... will you sell it; appoint a GM; develop a family lineage of ownership? If you are an

passion. Do what you love and love what you do. If you don't... do something else!

•

Check your rule book. By whose rules are you living professionally? Who says that what you do to earn your income is what you need or have to do in the future?

We are all so much more than what we do. What we do should add experiences to our lives that we thrive upon and enjoy, even the challenging parts. You are free to make decisions for yourself that suit you; if those decisions don't suit others, ask if this is really important for you!

executive; stay in a progressive network and keep learning new things outside of your core role.

Helen

makes the whole situation overwhelming. Here is where the fraud complex comes in. They certainly do not feel successful; they feel stuck!

So how do we retain a sense of self whilst enjoying the game of making money and growing a career or a business?

Here are my top tips for business owners and executives:

THIRTEEN

2 1

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Anti-Marketing Wins That You Need To Grow That

Kirsten Basford⏐ANTI-MARKETING As all the regular readers of APM know I have recently moved to a regional area of NSW (It’s been one year now – I can’t believe it!). As a business NERD I love chatting to people when I am in their store or their business or at an event and ask how business is and how they got into what they are doing and where do they see their business going.

The different reactions could be the basis of a social experiment. It has been very interesting to hear the way they describe their business.

What’s also really interesting is that many business owners in regional areas are, let’s just say more towards the end of their career than at the height of it. Some have been in their business for YEARS, others have openly admitted that their business was the result of a mid-life crisis; (partner in a law firm moved her family out of Sydney and now owns a beautiful homewares store) she called it her very expensive hobby! There are businesses that are on FIRE and really kicking it and then there are the others that are just getting by.

The different industries that I am engaging with is also really eye opening. The world of agriculture is a category that I have not seen under the hood of before and it is incredible.

What I have noticed is those that are in the doing well camp and those that are just getting by, regardless of industry all have one dominant common trait and that’s attitude.

The amount of times I have heard a business owner complain about their business or about their customers or are sitting behind a counter head down in a crossword or worse, chopping on a sandwich while I am trying to BE a customer blows my mind. These are the negative nellies that are blaming the government, blaming their local council and chamber of commerce for not supporting them. They blame the economic climate, they blame technology, they blame the time of the year, they blame marketing not working any more and they blame the people that are doing well.

What I have noticed is that there are some really key

4 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

They understand the value of one customer and they love that customer so much that they tell their friends and become a brand advocate.

attributes that contribute to success in business and the marketing of a business. None of them are revolutionary and to most they are common sense, but in a smaller town things are amplified so you tend to notice these things more and they do make a huge difference. You all know that I don’t do traditional marketing, we talk anti-marketing around here and these are some of the biggest anti-marketing wins that

They Give. They give generously of their time, their knowledge and their connections. They give value.

These people are the ones that are always willing to help out in the community, at the local school, a talk at the local chamber meeting, donating for the raffle. Whatever it is they appreciate the community that they live in and they serve. They know that it best to give than to receive.

you need to cover to grow or even maintain your business.

I know that none of this is in any marketing handbook, but it should be (maybe I should write one….) This is all so powerful when it comes to marketing a business, any business. These things naturally attract people to you. You become a magnet, people want what you’ve got.

The first one is glaring at me and that’s their WHY – when you lose the reason why you started doing something, or your why changes this can have a massive impact to your business. It’s the same when you start a new job, you are fresh bouncy and perky all eager to get into the office and make a difference and a contribution. Over time that eagerness fades because you forget the WHY. The people that have passion and enthusiasm and push through have a clear grip on their why. It shows through all that they do and they want to be there and they want to grow their business.

They know their ideal customer, they care deeply about them and they tailor everything they do in their business around this. They don’t worry about the shiny squirrels around them. They have a laser focus on who they are serving and they do it well.

They innovate. Just because that’s the way it’s done doesn’t apply to them. They look for news ways to do things, new people to collaborate with, new methods to communicate with their customers. They embrace change and try new things. They are willing to do what it takes to get the best outcome for their business and themselves and their customers.

They love the shit out of the customers they already have.

This blows my mind more times than I wish to count. Have you ever been in a store and you are in the middle of trying to be served and the phone rings and they excuse themselves and go and answer it and leave you standing there WTF!!!

Let me finish with a little story…when I was doing my final year 12 exams, I did 3 unit art. That and music were my two favourite subjects and I did really well. They were easy for me and I naturally got good grades. My art teacher wrote something very powerful on my school report, the grade was A+ but that wasn’t what stuck with me. It was the comment; Kirsten, don’t rest on your laurels.

That was 24 years ago and the most powerful thing I took away from my high school years which has helped me throughout my career.

I wish this for every business owner, or anyone that is trying to push through to the next level in their career. Remember why you started and then go back there, don’t rest on your laurels and love the shit out of what you do and who you do it for. The rest will fall into place.

Kirsten THIRTEEN FIFTEEN

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

QUICK AND EASY SPRING BREAKFAST TROPICANA SMOOTHIE Hayley martin - true form health

Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

• 1/3 cup coconut water • 1/3 cup coconut cream

• 1-2 cups spinach/ rocket mix

• 1 banana

Ingredients:

•

1 cup pineapple, chopped

•

1/2 cup mint leaves

•

1 tablespoon maca powder

•

2 tablespoons LSA

•

2 tablespoons coconut oil

•

juice of 1 lemon or lime

What to do: Pop it all in the blender baby and blend, blend, blend! Serve with a sprinkling of chia seeds and goji

a little umbrella for fun! berries and even

Inside goodness: I love adding maca to my smoothies and salads, it's a great source of energy and to balance your mood.

Packed with B vitamins as well as well C and E, it also provides calcium, zinc, iron, magnesium and amino acids aiding in preventing anaemia and cardiovascular diseases and allowing you to heal from wounds more quickly. It's also great for skin health and to boost your libido whilst balancing hormones - what a little powerhouse!

Adding leafy greens to your smoothie won't alter the taste too much, but you will be receiving an extra punch of nutrients by doing so - enjoy!

www.trueformhealth.com.au

SIXTEEN

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

APM’s Book Review by lena Turvey

Never Stop Believing

Author: Sally Obermeder

“They say that your life changes forever

doing your head in, it’s okay to stop.”

when you’re diagnosed with cancer.

There’s your life before, and your life

She reminds us to take a step backwards and

after.”

look at the bigger picture “Sometimes it can be hard to see how far you’ve really come”.

Almost everyone has been touched by cancer, whether it is someone in your

There was a theme throughout this book where

immediate family, a friend, a colleague or

Sally talks about her need to continuously

just someone you know of. Often it is

improve herself, which struck a chord with me,

hard to know what to say or do for them.

especially at this time of year when everyone is

Sally not only lets the reader in on what

celebrating the ringing in of the New Year.

has to be the most personal and the hardest few years in her life, but she helps to educate us on what to do and say to the person we know affected by cancer.

“But even that wasn’t enough to satisfy my need to keep improving myself and boosting my professional credentials” I have seen this in not only myself but also

Her life story was interesting before the cancer, and boy is she a funny lady, but being able to make me laugh while reading her cancer story was amazing.

Sally has written a funny, well-crafted memoir that is equal parts moving and inspirational.

many other women, the need to collect qualifications and continually improve. Looking at Sally’s situation in the cold light of day, improving one’s qualifications pales into insignificance.

“But once that idea gets under your skin—that there’s something wrong with you, that you’re

This book would make a great holiday read or is a 'must read' for when you feel like being inspired.

Sally talks about giving herself permission to stop doing things, to help her to get over her childhood resentments, “Sometimes, if something’s

not good enough—it can be hard to shake off.”

Sally’s ability to laugh, make others laugh and inspire people is a gift. Keep looking at the bigger picture; are you spending time on the things that matter most to you?

Take a read and tell us what you think of the book. I’d love to know.

Lena xx

Photo Credit: mumsociety.com.au

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

EIGHTEEN

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

ASK ME THE

r right

! s n o i t s que PENNY VOTZOURAKIS

CUSTOMER SERVICE

Today I received a phone call from a training organisation whose caller told me that the government had allocated money to online training. I thought, “that’s great!”

was flustered. “Yes,” she replied, “but I am going to get one of our course consultants to call you.”

She didn’t understand that she hadn’t asked me the most important question: do I even want it?

The caller then asked some questions. “Are you an Australian Citizen?” Yes. “Are you between the ages of 18 and 35?” By this time I was annoyed. Shouldn’t the first question have been whether I was interested in furthering my education? Everything else is irrelevant. The program might have been free, but if I don’t want it, it has no value to me.

So I asked that very question. “Don’t you think your first question should be whether I am interested in knowing how I can further my

Sell me something I want. Ask the right questions so you can give me a solution. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean I will suddenly want it. If I don’t see the perceived value, you and your product are irrelevant. Just because you think I must have it, doesn’t mean I agree!

Remember; People Buy People.

Penny V

education at no cost to me?” By now the caller

NINETEEN

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

The Secret To Maintaining An Organised Life

I’m going to let you in on a secret. The secret to

maintaining and organised life is to keep it simple. No

matter how much you have on your plate, keeping it

simple will help you to become better organised.

complicate your life with things that don’t matter, Don’t the fact that you want things done perfectly or not at all

is the opposite of simple. I don’t mean cleaning up, reducing the tasks or appointments or extra curricular

activities (although, doing this can help too!), I mean

making things as simple as they can be.

Good enough is good enough. You don’t have to do

everything perfectly. Let’s give you an example. Say doing the washing; you have a family of 5, three you're

kids and two parents. You are the only one doing the washing and it appears to be everywhere!

Lena Turvey - Productivity

Consider using a service to do your washing if the budget allows. There are many people who would love the opportunity of making a few extra bucks a week, washing, drying and folding your washing.

Many machines have a timer function these days, setting it up to finish when you get up in the morning means you can be on top of your washing every day.

If you are a scheduler, put a reminder to check the basket each day at a time convenient to you. If you hate schedules and calendars, find another way to monitor your dirty washing levels, when the lid doesn’t close, its time to put a load on.

What could you do about it? Well firstly look at the way

There is a simple solution for your

you currently organise or attempt to organise yourself

organisational woes, you just need to look at

when it comes to laundry. Where are the clothes taken

what you do, and find another way that works

off? Where are they dropped? Put a basket there.

better for you. Don’t keep doing things that don’t work for you, that’s not simple, that’s hard

How much do you get each day/week? Depending on

work.

your amount of dirty washing will depend how often you will run a load. Try to keep your laundry to a

What have you simplified recently? Tell me in

minimum, keeping it simple.

the comments below; I’d love to know.

Put a load on to dry and fold them as soon as they are

Until next time,

dry. Put them away or delegate to your kids to do it. Don’t leave things to get to fever pitch. Doing all the laundry loads on one day a week means a long day of washing for you.

Lena

What if it rains?

TWENTYTWO

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

TWENTYTHREE

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Beckie White⏐ Stylist

Does Size Really Matter?

Really

1 2 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

The other night on 'A Current

You go into another shop and

Here’s my 5 top tips to buying

Affair' they had a segment about

grab a 12 and find this one too

any size with joy

the variations between clothing

big however, this time, I am

sizes in Australia.

happy to get the smaller size to

In the UK, all clothing is size regulated; by that I mean that all designers and manufacturers have to follow certain guidelines so that, for the consumer, all clothing sizes are consistent from one brand to another.

In Australia, we have none of these regulations, meaning it is up to the designer and manufacturer to create their

1. Rather than worrying

try AND I even call out to the

about what the number

assistant for a SMALLER size!!!

on the size label says,

You try the smaller size on and

concentrate on the

just like the fairytale

following instead:

Goldilocks and the Three Bears,

2. Does this garment fit and

they fit you perfectly. I am

enhance my body

smiling from ear to ear, happy to

shape?

be in a smaller size and guess what; I buy them!!

3. Does this garment match and go with lots of other pieces in my wardrobe?

Now I may be the only one who does this; you tell me! Why? I’m not 100% sure!

own. This is why many women

4. Do I feel great in this garment?

5. Is this garment what I was looking for?

(including myself) can feel

What I do know as a stylist, is

dissatisfied when shopping for

that as women, we are so hell

Over the years, sizing in

clothes.

bent on wearing a certain size

Australia has changed so

relating number that it has us

dramatically. I remember being

feeling lost and consequently

in an op-shop last year and

disliking certain brands and

trying on a denim skirt in a 14

shopping experiences when that

and I couldn’t get the darn

number that fits us is larger than

garment up past my thighs!!

we like in their range. I know

Whereas, some size 14 now fit

from having my own boutique,

and some don’t. I know the

that if a particular brand has a

national average is now bigger

smaller cut, some women are

than it was (as am I) but I

reluctant to buy it in a larger

believe some strict sizing

size. We truly are funny

regulations would help us

creatures!

women feel more comfortable in

This intrigues me, as I believe from discussion with many of my clients that certain sizes can 'turn you off' buying a garment.

Have you ever gone into a store to buy a dress / pants etc and you pick up the size you 'usually' are and then in the change room you discover that you need the bigger size up. You refuse to try it on and leave the shop feeling bigger than when you went in and unhappy claiming you need to go on “A DIET” and consequently don’t buy anything.

our own skin.

However, clothes are an important tool in making us feel

And finally... you can always cut

confident at times. So how do

the tag off when you get home!

we fix this sizing problem and make it work for us?

Beckie

TWENTYFIVE

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Traffic Generation Strategy Planning

Part one of a three Part Series Julie Bourke⏐ Technology

Website traffic, as you may know, is

Here’s what to consider when planning

essential to internet marketing success.

your traffic generation strategy:

Without people visiting your website, nothing is going to happen.

Ideally, whether you’re just getting started

• What are your traffic goals?

• What tactics are you going to use to achieve those goals? What is your budget?

or have been in business for a while, the goal is to generate a great return on investment.

That’s why I’m focusing on free or low cost for this series of articles, because certainly in the beginning of a new business you don’t often have a ton of money to spend on advertising and other more expensive traffic generation tactics.

• What goals do you have for each traffic tactic and how are you going to achieve them?

• How are you testing and tracking results?

• How will your tactics work together for maximum results?

• How often will you reassess, analyze and plan your strategy?

Remember To Plan Your Traffic

There isn’t a right or wrong way to plan,

Strategy.

what is important is that you do it.

One of the biggest mistakes

Having a plan will make sure you don’t

entrepreneurs make when trying to drive

miss a step, make mistakes or skip over a

traffic to their website is a failure to plan.

potentially effective traffic generation tactic.

As a business owner your number one task and responsibility is to plan your

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to

business.

fail!” Benjamin Franklin

Experts recommend spending at least 25% of your time planning. Everything from your finances to your traffic

generation strategy should be planned.

Julie

TWENTYSEVEN

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES

Elizabeth Kenny (1880 - 1952) Joanne Clark - NLP

Have you ever met someone who is so certain that they are right – you know the type of person I mean, someone who has so much conviction about their opinion, their methodology, their knowledge that they just have to make sure you (and everyone else) has the benefit of learning from them – no matter what! Now I am not saying it isn’t a good thing to be passionate about what you believe in and to have great certainty in yourself, knowing what you stand for. What I am curious about is when being so right can be so wrong.

As I look back over my life I can recall lots of conversations where I had opinions that I knew were right – many of them were “scientifically” proven facts and yet 10-20 years on we now know that what at one time seemed so definite is now “scientifically” refuted. Over and over again through life great discoveries have been made because someone is willing to be the first to say “the emperor has no

Elizabeth Kenny Elizabeth Kenny dared to challenge the wisdom of the Australian medical fraternity in the early part of the 20th century. Her deep determination, clinical powers of observation and unrelenting purpose to cure her patients drove her to forcefully advocate her new method to treat polio.

Consequently, Sister Elizabeth Kenny succeeded in eliminating the spectre of a being bedridden for life and reducing the agony experienced by thousands upon thousands of polio sufferers around the world.

Polio mercilessly ruins countless young lives. Across the globe in the 1920s to 40s, rates were rising and this viral disease was, and still is dreaded. Those severely affected first develop fever, body aches and varying degrees of paralysis. In advanced cases the virus attacks the brain stem and respiratory muscles killing 5-10% of paralysed polio patients, and leaving up

clothes”.

TWENTYEIGHT

4 5 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

to 50% of survivors with persistent partial paralysis.

Royal Commission to report on her treatment

This disease is a shocker so the need to treat it

methods. The findings of the Commission

effectively and ultimately eliminate it from the planet is

paramount!

(1935) damned the “Kenny method” in favour of the prevailing “scientific” hospital treatment of immobilisation. What they failed to see and

As a bush nurse in remote Queensland, Sister Kenny

continued to deny was that her techniques

had encountered a few children with a mysterious fever

worked, children were walking again!

which left behind some paralysis. This disease that was soon to sweep the world in epidemic proportions

Kenny continued her work and families saw

became known as polio. Whilst treating these patients

her as a beacon of hope for their children.

in her own tiny hospital at Clifton Sister Kenny had

Polio swept the world and Sister Kenny

made a crucial observation – heated cloths and muscle

followed it – she went to Britain and opened a

exercises relieved patients’ pain and restored movement to their limbs. She also had observed throughout her nursing career that patients who believed recovery was possible and were involved in their recovery by learning how their muscles worked stood a better chance than those who remained bedridden. The Kenny method developed further with Sister Kenny giving her polio patients remedial exercises and hydrotherapy treatment.

These radical interventions flew in the face of the traditional polio treatment which emphasized using the approach of splints to immobilize paralysed limbs, bed rest and surgery. As word of Sister Kenny’s successful treatments spread, so too did the hysterical voices of those who railed against her. Doctors and physical therapists relying on immobilisation techniques believed there was no scientific foundation for her therapy and roundly criticised her for creating false hope.

Branded as an untrained charlatan, Kenny’s powerful enemies established a

Photo Credit: blogs.slq.qld.gov.au

Photo Credit: sisterkenny.net

6 7 8

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Photo Credit: britannica.com

as Elizabeth Kenny set off to battle the polio epidemic in Minnesota. Based in Minneapolis, the American authorities

gave her a teaching position at the University of Minneapolis

Medical School, beds for her patients, and by 1942 she had opened the Elizabeth Kenny Institute to thoroughly train therapists in her methodology. Sister Kenny was adored in the US with her popularity being even higher than that of Eleanor Roosevelt. The US Congress passed a special Act that enabled her to come and go in America as she pleased without having to obtain a passport or a visa.

Elizabeth Kenny didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. She steadfastly trusted her observations and the experiences her patients were achieving with her treatment. In the face of enormous opposition she continued to say “the emperor has no clothes” and a generation of polio victims walked normally because she did.

For most adults there is a point in life where we decide – I know what I am doing, I know about life, I know this and I know that…. When you embrace NLP the focus shifts from what you decide you know to the question of:

What if it was different?

What if there were more choices; more options and alternatives. Imagine the freedom to find possibilities, just like Sister Kenny did. Possibilities where perhaps previously you believed they didn’t exist.

Photo Credit: kenny.mpls.k12.mn.us

Because, just like the knowledge that the world was flat and all evidence known to humankind proved this to be true, we have

Kenny Polio Treatment Clinic in Surrey.

travelled beyond the boundaries of our previous knowledge.

She returned to Melbourne, Australia,

We have heard of new techniques and methods and seen with

where the Kenny method became the

our own eyes the contrast between the enormous cost of

model for successful polio treatment, a

clinging to knowing we are right, against the wealth of

treatment approach my own mother

discoveries that being curious and open to learning has given

benefitted from 10 years later.

us.

United States of America was the

Make today your day,

destination of Sister Kenny’s next mission. Here, the medical profession embraced her new ideas enthusiastically,

Joanne

THIRTY

1 2 3

Thanks to careinthesun.org - here’s the APM word on staying healthy this Summer…

Sun screen Sunscreens should be used where there is the potential for your skin to be over-exposed to the sun. They should not be the first choice of protection but should always be used along with other forms of sun-protection.

SPF (UVB): SPF stands for ‘sun protection factor’ and refers to the sunscreen’s ability to filter out Ultraviolet B radiation (UVB). SPF is a ratio worked out in the laboratory by measuring the increased amount of UVB radiation necessary to cause redness of the skin when the product is applied at a specified thickness compared to when it is not used.

The higher the number, the greater the protection. A sun protection factor (SPF) of 15 will block 93% of UV radiation, while a SPF of 30+ will give you more protection, screening out 96% of UV radiation.

especially if it is being rubbed off through swimming or exercise.

It is important to remember that no sunscreen gives 100% protection against UV rays.

Shelf life: All sunscreens should show an expiry date and storage conditions. Most sunscreens can last for two to three years when stored correctly. Sunscreens vary in their ability to withstand heat and may deteriorate more quickly if kept in a hot car.

Once a day application sunscreen: Some sunscreens claim to provide effective protection after just one application. But we know that reapplying sunscreens regularly is very important because you are more likely to get even coverage and avoid missing bits that may then get burnt.

The Sun

UVA: UVA protection prevents against skin ageing by filtering out Ultraviolet A radiation (UVA). In the UK we measure UVA protection with the 'star' system. Sunscreens can have anywhere from 0 to 5 stars. Look for a star rating of 4 or more.

Which sunscreen should I buy?

For maximum protection, choose a broadspectrum sunscreen that filters out both Ultraviolet A (UVA) and Ultraviolet B (UVB) radiation and has:

• •

Sun Protection Factor (SPF) of at least 15 UVA star rating of 4 or more

Expense: Price is not an automatic indication of the quality of a sunscreen; the critical factor is that the sunscreen you purchase has an SPF of 15 or more and a UVA star rating of 4 or more.

Applying sunscreen: Apply your sunscreen generously at least 30 minutes before going outdoors. Most people apply too little resulting in 50-80% less protection than specified on the bottle.

Reapply every 2 hours or more frequently

Ultraviolet radiation emitted by the sun is composed of three wavelengths: UVA, UVB and UVC. UVC is absorbed by the ozone layer and doesn’t reach the Earth’s surface.

UVA and UVB cause tanning, burning, ageing, wrinkling and skin cancer.

UVA rays are present all year round and can penetrate glass and clouds.

Thus we are exposed to large doses of UVA throughout our lifetime.

Remember That

•

UVB intensity varies by season, location and time of day. As a general rule, the highest levels of UVB reach the UK between the hours of 10am and 4pm between April and October.

•

•

Skin Protection from UV Rays Over-exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation either from natural sunlight or from artificial sources such as sunbeds is the main cause of 80% of skin cancers. So protect yourself when the UV index is 3 or higher.

•

When it is sunny, spend limited time outdoors during the peak hours of 11am to 3pm.

Sunscreens do not offer 100% protection and should be used in addition to other precautions.

Sunbeds should be avoided at all costs.

Early detection of skin cancer is very important so examine your own skin approximately once a month. If in doubt, get it checked out by a GP.

1 2 3

Work Life Balance – Fact or Fiction?

Pippa Hanson ⏐ A Personal Journey

A work/life balance is possible... it's all about our individual perceptions.

Do you think work life balance is a fad term? Would you like more work life balance?

There are three components that make up my current life – those of work, family/friends and balance.

I have always been known as a busy person, I am a busy person, and I enjoy staying busy. I work full time, currently completing my Masters and my children all enjoy extracurricular activities. It was early on as a business owner that I turned my life around.

With a young family juggling a brand new business with motherhood brought with it

busy times, I lived and breathed my business every single minute of every single day with many choices and sacrifices made along the way to focus on the business in its infancy stages. As a result from its inception, that original team of 3 has grown in stature to a successful team of 55+. I have no regrets over decisions I made along that journey however my life is now more balanced.

My children all went off to daycare before starting school and when they did start school I had every intention of joining them on their excursions and helping out in classroom activities.

But my busy lifestyle didn't allow any spare free time.

And I felt guilty.

I felt guilty about going to work. I felt guilty about not going to work. But no-one is superhuman and work/life balance is about the choices each of us makes as individuals and what works for us.

I’m sure I’m not the only mum who has ever taken a business call with the mobile phone attached to my ear while trying to do pay for the groceries at the supermarket and telling my children to stop running around at the same time. Feeling the stares of onlookers just for simply trying to be the best I can at everything can be off-putting.

THIRTYTWO

4 6 5

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

Every choice I make in my life has a consequence, some positive and some negative.

Most of the time I am aware of the consequences and I make my choices based on these.

When I go to work I know when I start, finish and what time lunch is. I know what time my family’s sport times are in advance, when I need to be there and what time it will finish. When I have my hair done or go to the doctors I have generally planned in advance the appointment and what time I will need to be there and what time I will finish.

So I have changed what I used to do. I have changed my working hours; I schedule quality family time, reading, homework, exercise and just hanging out. I have allowed myself to be comfortable and proud of my choices. For me, if my events weren't in the diary like an appointment one day

became one week, one week became one month and I was like a mouse on its running wheel getting nowhere fast.

When I am busy, I am busy but when I am at home, I am now present. (Even if I am still busy!)

I have set boundaries for myself, what time I start work, finish work, go to the gym, Pilates, or a walk and have these set in place in a regular routine. If it is time my children, husband, friends or family, it’s in my diary! This is what works for me.

Otherwise the week passes, the month passes and before I know it, my family and friends get used to not having me around and they learn to function without me.

When I look at my work and life balance I look at a week, a moth or even a year not just one day.

As an individual, it is up to me to diarise and prioritise so that I can have the balance to feel good about myself and my choices.

I put my life into perspective in the very early days of being a business ownerwomen are judged for not working, women are judged for working too much. I am proud of the choices I have made and am confident in my work and life choices that see me guilt-free and living life to the fullest!

Pippa

THIRTYTHREE

1 2

\

APM FOUNDER ~ HELEN TRELOAR

Soul Food Rebellion and Influence Fortune on-line magazine posted an article recently, entitled 'Why Rebellious Kids Make More Money Later in Life'.

Is serving self a 'wrong thing'?

Why can't it be that by serving self we are in the best position to then serve others?

Take a read and let me know what you think about the conclusion of the survey findings.

There is a weakness in the influence of those who only serve others at the cost to self. They

Why am I using this article as a base for this week's

struggle to lead and have people choose to follow

Soul Food?

them for anything other than comfort and security well that's been my finding to date, especially in a

As a Business / Personal Success Coach and a CEO,

business environment. They have been taught to

'people' play a leading role in my professional life.

believe that others before self always, is to be a good

Specifically those in positions of influence. Generation

person, to be liked or respected or valued. Not only

'Y' challenges influencers, as this generation is the

do these influencers lack influence, they question

rebel generation who are generally known for self

strong influencers. They believe that there must be a

service before others. This creates controversy,

selfish and ulterior motive to the strategy and

frustration and annoyance to the previous generations

decisions that, at times, have feathers flying. In order

who were raised to please the boss, follow the rules,

to create and maintain a winning culture, one must

show respect and 'do the right thing'.

first establish the values and ensure they are employed in the team.

What exactly is the 'right thing'?

THIRTYFOUR

4 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

If a business or friendship group values growth

My soul food for your mind this week... be

and development and their team / friends push

EXTRAORDINARY. Take courage to be the rebel,

back against change, the culture / group is

where being ordinary keeps you from achieving your

fractured. Alignment to a group of people who will

goals. Surround yourself with extraordinary. Rather

support YOU to achieve your goals personally or

than be a rule-breaker, be a new-rule-creator - re-write

professionally begins with self alignment to the

the rules to best serve you and your business / life.

values that will enable this to happen.

Then back yourself all the way.

It starts with the question to self "what is it I truly

Self first, then others, then all - its called ECOLOGY.

stand for, believe and want?"

A Peaceful Mind comes from purposeful living, or as the in-word of the moment states living 'mindfully'.

If you were to have a 10 minute coffee chat with a group of highly successful people, you will find a

You are a vessel of pure potential; the only person

rebellious thread connects them. At some time,

who can realise that potential is YOU x

and often many times, they broke the 'rules' set by the 'ordinary' so they could create an 'extraordinary' outcome.

Helen

Mindy Grossman HSN CEO was given advice from mentor Phil Knight "Don't try to keep making ordinary people extraordinary - hire extraordinary people and surround yourself with extra ordinary people".

THIRTYFIVE

1 2

Fighting Fair

The 'How To'

AMANDA MALLIA – The Man’s Perspective

I believe that every couple planning to get married should go through some kind of seminar that teaches them to fight fair… but it doesn’t happen. In fact, 95% of engaged couples dream of the perfect marriage and family. They see nothing but love, passion and romance, fantasizing about ‘happily ever after’ when they get hitched.

However… they soon start fighting over the little things like toilet seats, too much time spent working, not sharing the household chores, etc.

For many, as the years progress, the love goes out the window, passion fades and arguments can become the new norm.

The good news is that these every day disagreements don’t have to turn into divorce.

By simply applying some common ground rules, you can get through the arguments by fighting fair.

Here are my tips to fighting fair in your relationship:

Agree to Disagree You are not clones or identical twins so there will come a point where you’re poles apart. You have to agree that when this happens, there must be respect instead of resentment. Your individuality is part of what attracted you to each other and it is what keeps the passion going strong.

Realize that differences are part of the equation so; ‘You must nurture those differences and encourage them to grow and mature in the relationship’. You don’t want to become co-dependent on one another!

Let the Past Mistakes Stay in the Past Forget bringing up the past while you’re arguing. Many times, couples bring up old issues and this breaks down communication significantly. Instead of focusing on the past, concentrate on the present. Be calm and willing to listen to your spouse. Be willing to forgive past

THIRTYSIX FOU

4 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 7 2015

issues and work on current ones. Bringing up past mistakes only adds fuel to the fire so don’t ever do it (unless you enjoy getting burned)!

No Throwing Stuff As adults, we must control our emotions and one relatively easy way to do this while arguing is to avoid throwing things at each other. Not only is this extremely childish and can hurt your loved one, but all those things you break will simply have to be replaced. In addition, it’s extremely geeky to have to sweep up your mess after an argument. Instead of breaking things, take a break, walk out of the room temporarily or just put some space between you and your spouse (until you’ve both calmed down). Men often share their frustration with me around this, ladies there are many more resourceful ways!

Don't Involve the Children Never ask your children to take sides. This is extremely unfair to them and can make a mess of their growth with emotional maturity. You can however, explain a little bit about what the argument was about, without going into details. Part of growing up is accepting that a marriage will have disagreements; the key factor is how the couple resolves the disagreements that will make for a balanced childhood for your children. It’s also important to make-up in front of your Children, always.

No Threats, No Cursing Never threaten each other or curse each other out. Not only does it affect the other person’s self esteem but also it draws a huge wedge between you that will never be forgotten, it may be forgiven, but never forgotten. Even when you’re angry, don’t call your spouse out of their name. In fact, this is so serious an infraction that it should really be a non-negotiable ground rule between you and your spouse.

Seek Help from a Relationship Coach If you are both arguing without resolving anything and there is a general repeated thread when you argue, then it’s time to see a relationship coach. You are at a point where both of you “can’t see the forest for the trees” and need an objective third person to lead you in the right direction.

Disagreements happen because you and your spouse are different. However, fighting fair is paramount to having a strong relationship. By agreeing to disagree, letting the past stay in the past, no throwing stuff, not cursing each other out, and seeking support from a relationship coach where the arguments loop and continue, you can balance your arguments and make it easier to apologize to each other. Plus, with every apology comes a deeper bond that will make your marriage or partnership stronger.

To Your Outstanding Relationship

Amanda THIRTYSEVEN FOU

1 2 3

Peaceful ind ISSUE 2015 A A Peaceful MM ind ⏐ ⏐ ISSUE 7 26015

I was just about to hit 40 and

signs that things were not as they

I walked away from this

suddenly and miraculously I found

seemed started to present themselves

appointment feeling as if a truck

myself pregnant for the first time. To

I found myself filled with concern.

had hit me, knowing that our lives would never be the same. She was

say it was a shock is an understatement. I was a successful professional woman who knew the direction I wanted to take my career and suddenly my world was just about to be turned upside down.

Then one sunny afternoon after a beautiful lunch at a seafood restaurant where she had happily sat watching us eat smiling and engaging with the people around us. We found ourselves walking home with a child who was

My beautiful daughter Saskia was

distraught, projectile vomiting and

born and we were thrown in the deep

clearly extremely distressed. This was

end of becoming parents. Very early

a defining moment, I recall shouting at

on in the piece I knew something

the top of my voice, “something is

was wrong, but the medical

wrong, a baby does not go from smiling

profession kept confirming that she

and interacting to this for no reason.”

was a thriving healthy baby. She looked it; in fact she was above average weight and smiled at the drop of a hat.

This event led to us being referred to the Royal Prince Alfred (RPA) Allergy Clinic in Sydney. She was five months old, thriving but projectile vomiting

But slowly but surely my inner voice

numerous times a day woke multiple

kept nagging at me and as the outer

times in the night distraught and unable

diagnosed with life threatening allergies to eight main food types, and food intolerances. We were not allowed to leave the clinic without being trained in how to use an Epipen (adrenaline) and were advised that she was not to go anywhere without it. Because if she ingested or came into contact with any of the food groups she was allergic to (peanuts, eggs, diary, wheat, sesame, fish, soy, potatoes) she may have an anaphylactic reaction, which may mean we may only have three minutes to administer the Epipen.

And so our journey into the world of allergy and food intolerance

to keep any solids down.

THIRTYEIGHT

4 6 5

Peaceful ind ISSUE 2015 A A Peaceful MM ind ⏐ ⏐ISSUE 7 26015

world began. We were incredibly

ways I could deal with my own beliefs

fortunate to have access to a lot of

and empower her to emotionally deal

support from the RPA Clinic. The

with her allergy management in a way

advice, information and medical

that enabled her to become

support, was incredible.

But for me

resourceful and to embrace the

there was something lacking, I could

uncertainty that allergy living can

get my head around what I needed to

bring.

do on a practical level. I read all the research, blog posts, allergy facts, recipes etc., but there was little advice on how to manage allergies from an

I also knew that I was not alone on this journey and the many other mothers I connected with through Social Media were struggling with the

emotional level.

same issues. We see weekly Every thing about living with a child

reminders of children who have died

who has life threatening allergies has

of a reaction somewhere in the world

the potential to be “fear driven”.

or we see endless recipes to assist us

You’re told that if your child has an

in feeding our children, but little is

anaphylactic reaction, you have three

written about how we can manage our

minutes to respond or they could die.

emotions and our children’s.

coming into skin contact with diary,

I knew I did not have the internal skills or resources to do this on my own and that I needed to educate myself to

you can imagine it is not hard to

better understand human behavior, so

become paranoid.

I enrolled in a coaching course and So it was at this that I had a choice. raise my child fears about safety or look

point that I felt I could either with my her I could at

This means she does pretty much the same as everyone else. We have been able to incorporate the concept of self-leadership and taking the control in situations that we may not have control over. It’s not that we don’t get fearful now, it’s that we choose to manage our fear in resourceful ways.

Through this journey I have built up a community of mums who have children with allergies on Facebook called Empowered Allergy Living.

Here we share some of the emotional impacts and strategies for dealing with them.

With one in four children being

When you have seen your child go into an anaphylaxis reaction after

yes and work out how afterwards.”

became a Professional Coach. This has enabled me to set up a business called Curiosity Inspired while working from home.

diagnosed with life threatening allergies in Australia each year, more emotional support is needed for families with life threatening allergies. Unsurprisingly research shows that mothers who have a child with life threatening allergies .

experience an

.

increased level of stress

.

and anxiety. It is my hope

that I can show others that there are different ways of responding to raising children with allergies and .

that it can be one

which is empowering and joyful.

This provides me with flexible working conditions that allow me to do

Follow Empowered Allergy Living

the additional tasks involved in allergy

on FaceBook

living, as well as explore ways in which I can incorporate my learning within a professional capacity.

Connect with Sarah Moore via FaceBook

Saskia has just turned 10 years old and lives by our family motto; “we say

THIRTYNINE

CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children.

2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.

www.facebook.com/pages/A-­‐Peaceful-­‐Mind

WRITERS WANTED Do you LOVE to write and believe you a story to tell that inspires or educates women? APM love to share – and your submission will be received with gratitude and excitement.

CONACT US AT: sparkle@apeacefulmind.com.au

www.twitter.com/APeacefulMind_

www.apeacefulmind.com.au