CPampus resswatch “‘Hangxiety’ is a common effect after drinking,” By Alexandra Medina, Pipe Dream, 3/31/22 “It has established a secure place in pop culture as a real thing that affects many, with different definitions being thrown around on social media outlets such as TikTok.” Find a new social media app, my god! Also, I find it funny that you need to specify that the topic of your article is “a real thing” that “affects many.” “But what exactly is hangxiety, and is it even a real thing?” You literally just said it was a real thing in the last sentence! I literally just made fun of you for that! Don’t start doubting yourself now! Believe in yourself, homie! How else am I supposed to believe in you? “Well, for one, it is definitely a real thing and is scientifically proven by researchers.” Jesus Christ, I’m getting whiplash here! “Alcohol initially boosts dopamine levels in the brain with an influx of gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA), giving you that liquid courage many strive for, but only for a certain amount of time.” Umm, achcually, it’s not the GABA that increases your dopamine levels. Alcohol increases the activity of your endogenous opioids, which, in turn, indirectly increase dopaminergic neuron activity. “After an interesting night of laughing, dancing and potentially oversharing, your dopamine levels have dropped.” First, where is your Oxford Comma? Second, I find it offensive that you would assume I do that whilst drunk. You don’t know me. I would NEVER do that, regardless of my current intoxication levels. I’ll have you know
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BINGHAMTON REVIEW
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that I most definitely do NOT “dance” while under the influence, thank you very much. Also, dopamine levels don’t automatically “drop”, unless you’re speaking in regards to the levels they’re at when you’re drinking. If anything, it’s the reaction to increased dopamine which makes you nauseous during a hangover. “The struggle to regulate emotions can be attributed to a decrease in mood and cognitive function as a result of physical hangover symptoms such as nausea or fatigue.” I hate it when my mood decreases :( “Nauseous and emotional? Hangovers really are the worst.” W- What is this? Is this an attempt at a joke? Is this a “how do you do, fellow kids?” moment? Why is this in the article? It doesn’t follow the tone established up until now at all, and sounds like Jerry Seinfeld floundering to keep his show running after running out of things to talk about up on stage. “What we do have to worry about is the impact hangxiety and alcohol in general can have on our mental health and lifestyle choices, because it’s not the best.” So… Second best then? “As Beth Marsh, a research assistant at University College London’s clinical pharmacology unit, asks, ‘Is that tradeoff of that brief reduction in anx-
iety once you’ve had the drink worth it the morning after?’” Yes. Next question. “According to Marsh’s research, shy people often feel more intense feelings of anxiety after drinking than others. People who are predisposed with social anxiety, she theorizes, have a greater chance of feeling hangxiety because ‘there are more ‘gaps’ in the narrative for the anxious mind to constantly rerun.’” Wait wait wait wait wait. You’re telling me that people with anxiety feel more anxiety after drinking?!?! HOLY SHIT! Discovery of the century right here! Can we get a round of applause? Groundbreaking research, truly. “CNN’s study also claims that hangxiety may be linked to an alcohol use disorder, presumable [sic] because it may be a sign that you are drinking too much or drinking as a way to cope with negative emotions experienced while you are sober.” The whole point of drinking is to “cope with negative emotions experienced while sober.”
Vol. XXXIV, Issue XI
