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HOW WE SPENT OUR SPRING BREAK
How We Spent Our Spring Break By Our Staff
W
ith Spring Break right behind us, you may find yourself wondering how the Binghamton Review staff spent their break. If you’re looking to compare your break to ours, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a list of 75 things that we did over Spring Break: 1. Cried 2. Spied on our neighbors 3. Did a handstand 4. Went somewhere warm 5. Made planes not plans 6. Played Elden Ring 7. Bashed head into a brick wall 8. Partied? 9. Realized our friends have different weeks off for spring break 10. Cried, again 11. Pet a dog 12. Pet a cat 13. Pet yourself ;) 14. Achieved some post nut clarity 15. Read a copy of Binghamton Review 16. Cried for the third time 17. Drugs (we could choose) 18. Drugs (now we couldn’t choose) 19. Got blackout drunk 20. Watched an Islanders game 21. Cried harder 22. Watched a NASCAR race 23. Enjoyed our nap 24. Questioned our life choices 25. Sent those questions to manager@binghamtonreview. com 26. Donated to a Ukrainian charity 27. Posted about how we donated to a Ukrainian charity on social media 28. Wore green 29. Pretended to be Irish for a day 30. Got beat up by an actual Irishman 31. Got beat up by an Irishwoman 32. Continued crying (if the injuries let us) 33. Took a shit 34. Returned the shit 35. Laughed in our younger siblings’ face when they asked for homework help 36. Assaulted our younger siblings 37. Went directly to jail, did not pass GO, did not collect $200 38. Pretended it was 4/20 when in reality it was 3/20 39. Polished our teeth collection 40. Hid the bodies 41. Ignored the police 42. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
editor@binghamtonreview.com
43. Stopped crying 44. Just kidding 45. Cried the hardest we’ve ever cried 46. Got some help 47. Realized bitches are better 48. Got bitches 49. Realized we can’t get bitches 50. Cried again 51. Remembered that we probably have homework to do 52. Went back to ignoring it 53. Went for a walk 54. Went for a run 55. Went for a sprint 56. Wentpher 57. Saw our family 58. Just kidding, locked ourselves in our rooms 59. Played Jenga 60. With a real building 61. Called it 9/12 62. Loved ourselves 63. Coped 64. Seethed 65. Gaslit 66. Gatekept 67. Girlbossed 68. Waited for 69 69. nice 70. Wrote an article for current Satire Issue of Binghamton Review 71. Played a game of Monopoly 72. Won Monopoly 73. Lost all our friends because of Monopoly 74. Realized Spring break is over 75. Cried
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