Canarian Weekly Ed 796 by Canarian Weekly

Don't bury your head in the sand over tax Issue 796

22nd March - 28th March 2013

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802 Poligono Industrial Las Chafiras, No 65, Bloque 2-A, Urb Las Chafiras, 38620, San Miguel de Abona, Tenerife

The best of the Tenerife Comedy Club Read our interview with Dr. George Ryegold on page 16

See Inside... Tenerife Sunshine See page 7

Declare your assets, or risk a hefty penalty IT’S official! If you are a resident in Spain, or in our case Tenerife, you must file an annual, detailed declaration of assets held overseas.

And that applies to everyone, whether of Spanish descent or a foreign national, such as British, for example. The British Embassy has updated its guidance on taxation for Brits who are resident in Spain. It follows the recent Royal Decree that reinforces an existing obligation on all residents in Spain - to declare their overseas assets. But be warned: the Decree allows for tough penalties for non-com-

pliance. The guideline changes bring to the fore just how serious they are for those living in Tenerife. Until now, these changes had been talked about for many months, but many Expats appear to have just buried their heads in the volcanic sand. The updated guidance states: “Britain has a double-taxation agreement with Spain to ensure people do not pay tax on the same income in both countries. “In accordance with Spanish and international law, all residents in Spain (nationals and non-nationals alike) are required to declare assets, or groups of assets, held outside Spain. “Assets may include bank accounts, securities, rights, insurance,

Paddys raise the roof again

See page 18

annuities, property, etc, and the declaration is a separate exercise to the annual tax return. “To reinforce this obligation, and as part of the Spanish Government’s recent anti-fraud law, the Government on 15th November 2012 passed a Royal Decree that requires all residents in Spain to file an annual informative declaration of assets held overseas by 31st March each year. Exceptionally for 2012 declarations, the deadline is 30th April 2013. “Severe penalties for incorrect, incomplete or late reporting can be incurred, and the legislation also means that criminal charges can be brought in the case of non-compliance. “The requirement and potential penalties are in line with standard in-

ternational tax practice. “To clarify, you must declare your assets to the Hacienda (the tax office) by the end of April 2013 or risk a fine. Individual assets must be over 50,000 euros in value, at today’s exchange rate (approximately £44,000).” Put simply, an asset is something which has value and that can be converted into cash. So for most people, it means property and bank accounts because cash itself is an asset, plus investments, annuities and securities such as stocks and bonds. The key aspect of the changing legislation is the word “resident”. You are deemed to be a resident if you spend more than Continued on page 3.

TongueThaid with delight!

See page 43

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22nd March - 28th March 2013

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File or fine? Continued from front. 183 days here per annum, not necessarily continuously, either. You are liable, regardless of whether you are in possession of a physical Residencia Card or Document. You become liable for tax from 00.00 on your 184th day in the country. The new law is to ensure you are declaring all the income that the assets may generate. No new taxes will have to be paid on these assets. Spain has a doubletax agreement, so any tax already paid in one country can be offset in the other. However, in general, you cannot choose where you pay tax. If

you are fiscally resident in Spain, you should declare and pay tax on your worldwide income. The fines if they discover you have undeclared assets are punitive. A Spanish tax year is the same as a calendar year (1st January to 31st December), unlike the UK tax year, which runs from 6th April to the following 5th April. If you are resident in Spain, you will be liable for income, capitals gains and succession duty (inheritance tax) on your worldwide assets. Residents must declare the value of their assets on 31st December, and failure to do so could result in fines exceeding the

value of the asset. The new form, which has to be completed, is called a modelo 720. Failure to do so, or a late return, will result in itself a 300euro fine. Many of you ask, “But why do they need to know”, it’s because there are people living here who tell HMRC (UK tax office) that they are paying tax here - and they’re not! The guidance can be found on the “Finance” page of the Living in Spain section of the British Embassy website at www. ukinspain.fco.gov.uk . The direct link is http://ukinspain.fco.gov. uk/en/help-for-britishnationals/living-inspain/finance.

Cheers and jeers as Budget Chancellor’s back in favour GEORGE OSBORNE’S Budget for the UK on Wednesday lasted less than an hour and, predictably, was greeted by Tory cheers and Labour jeers. But the general feeling was that the Chancellor had gone a long way to making amends for his Budget shambles last year, for which the Government had to make a series of about-turns Good news was that personal allowance on income tax will rise to £10,000 from April next year, which will mean an overall saving of £705 since the Coalition was formed. The proposed weekly flat-rate pension of £144 has been brought forward a year to 2016 and he has introduced five-year, interest-free Government loans up to 20% of the value newbuild properties, On the fags and booze side, however, things are not so rosy. Cigarettes are up 26p a packet, spirits up 38p a bottle and wine up10p. But for some peculiar reason, the Chancellor knocked 1p of a pint of beer. To be fair, he had planned a 3p beer rise, so there is a slight saving, just as there is with petrol and diesel prices because he has also scrapped a 3p per litre rise in fuel duty, scheduled for September Mr Osborne also vowed

to “name and shame” promoters of tax-avoidance schemes, saying: “This Government is not going to let you get away with it.” But Labour leader Ed Miliband just couldn’t help himself, despite what was a modest budget, from launching a nasty, highly-personal attack on the Chancellor. “You’re the wrong man in the wrong place at the worst possible time for this country,” he accused. “This a downgraded Budget from a downgraded Chancellor.” But business leaders just about welcomed the Budget, and Matthew Sinclair, chief executive of the Taxpayers’ Alliance, said it would ease the pressure on family budgets for those people struggling to make ends meet. At-a-glance Budget 2013 growth forecast halved to 0.6%. 2.8% rise predicted by 2017 CAP on social care costs confirmed at £72,000. Threshold for means-tested help up from £23,000 to £118,000 PLANNED 3p rise in fuel duty scrapped C O R P O R AT I O N tax cut 1% to 20% in 2015. New employment allowance to cut NI bills by £2,000 for every company ARMED Forces get 1.5% pay rise and spared public-sector wage

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freeze FAMILIES get 20% tax relief on childcare up to £6,000 per child from 2015 COMMUTER tax-free loans for season tickets double to £10,000 SAVERS who lost out on Equitable Life policies before 1992 to get £5,000 payout BORROWING to fall from £108bn next year to £97bn in 2014/15, then £87bn, £61bn and £42bn in following years. Deficit to fall from 7.4% of GDP in 2013-14 to 5 in 2015-16 GOVERNMENT department spending slashed 1% next year and in 2015. Schools and NHS unaffected CAP of 1% on publicsector pay extended to 2015/16 EMPLOYMENT boost, with 600,000 more jobs expected this year than same time last year. Claimant count to fall by 60,000 ROAD, rail and construction projects get an extra £15bn by 2020, starting with £3bn in 2015-16 BANK levy rate goes up to 0.142% next year PROCEEDS of Libor banking fines to be given to military causes, including Combat Stress charity POTTERY industry exempt from climatechange levy, and tax allowances for investment in shale gas

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SPAIN NOT AFFECTED News In Brief BY CYPRUS Russians here in force

RUSSIAN tour operators Pegas Tours and Coral have begun working with Tenerife. The Island currently attracts 97% of those Russians who travel to the Canaries, whose tourism chiefs have been exhibiting this week at Moscow’s MITT Fair

Dead man found in field

A 30 YEAR-OLD man was found dead by a passer-by on Tuesday afternoon in Los Cristianos. The body was lying in a field behind one of the town’s supermarkets. Sources suggest he could have died from an overdose.

Decapitator deadline passed

THE legal deadline has now passed for Deyan Deyanov to appeal against his sentence for the beheading of Jennifer Mills-Westley in May 2011. This means his 20-year sentence in a secure psychiatric unit, as requested by the prosecution, is now final. Neither the prosecutor nor his lawyer, Francisco Beltran submitted an appeal against the sentence.

Hiker’s emergency rescue

AS we go to print the tiny island of Cyprus is attempting to get a bailout without taking it from private bank accounts to avoid bankruptcy through their ‘Plan B’. The European Central Bank (ECB) has said it will only guarantee assistance until Monday night without a new aid programme being in place. It’s thought that Cyprus now plans to raise the 5.8bn euros it needs to secure a bailout partly through the creation of an “Investment Solidarity Fund,” intended to draw on contributions from ordinary Cypriots, business and foreign investors. The proposed controversial bank levy - which was rejected by MPs amid a public outcry - was not even reconsidered and a vote needs to be taken on

‘Plan B’. Fears of a run on the Cypriot banks mean that they will have been closed for 10 straight days by next Tuesday - the earliest time they will re-open for business. The lack of liquidity, as in no cash available, has paralysed businesses. Cyprus is one of the eurozone’s smallest economies. But, has a large banking sector which has suffered from exposure to Greek debt In 1974 the island was effectively partitioned with the northern third inhabited by Turkish Cypriots and the southern two-thirds by Greek Cypriots. The UN Buffer Zone, commonly called the “Green Line”, dividing the two parts from Morphou through Nicosia to Famagusta, is patrolled by United Nations troops. After independence

SPANISH Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy attended the inaugural Mass in St. Peter’s Square last week to mark start of Pope Francis’ papacy. Rajoy accompanied Their Royal Highnesses, the Prince and Princess of Asturias, who led the Spanish delegation, which also included José Manuel García-Margallo, Minister for Foreign Affairs and Co-operation, Justice Minister Alberto Ruiz Gallardón, and Home Affairs Minister Jorge Fernández Díaz. The event, televised throughout the world, was attended by 132 official delegations.

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he said in Parliament on Wednesday. The President recognised the complexity of the situation in Cyprus and expressed his disagreement at passing the responsibility for what has happened on to the citizens of the country. He recognised that the situation is extremely complicated “because the financial system over there is in a dreadful state and needs to be capitalised”. In reality, the crisis in Cyprus has not affected Spain at all, even with a dire economy, which is not expected to emerge from its more than a year-long recession until next year, massive unemployment and high deficit, it’s become less of a worry and gained increased confidence due to a very good bond sale that has just taken place to raise capital.

SUNDAY SHOPS El Medano’s Feria del Saldo IN SANTA CRUZ

THE Canarian Emergency Service rescue helicopter was deployed on Sunday to rescue a 36-year-old hiker from the Barranco de Masca. The Bomberos carried the stranded hiker, suffering from exhaustion and unable to move, by stretcher to the coastline. The original intention was for a sea evacuation, but conditions were considered too dangerous and an air rescue was deemed necessary. Instead, the hiker was air-lifted to the Adeje Bomberos Helipad.

Spain’s PM welcomes Pope

from Britain in 1960, Cyprus successfully diversified its economy into one based on services including a large tourism sector - and light manufacturing. More recently it has also developed into an important financial hub, especially for investors from Russia and Eastern Europe. These events of recent weeks have come about as in 2012, Cyprus’ economy was badly hit by its extensive exposure to recessionhit economy of Greece, and the country was forced to seek emergency help from international lenders. Spaniards have feared that a similar event would happen in Spain due to the current economic climate however President Rajoy confirmed, “I’m not in favour of people losing their deposits”,

(Main Plaza, Saturday and Sunday, 11am-8pm) THERE will be bargains galore in El Medano this weekend as the main plaza, opposite the beach, is transformed into a cut-price fair. The seventh annual Feria del Saldo takes place tomorrow (Saturday) and Sunday, from 11am8pm, with two dozen or so local companies offering cut-price deals on their wares. Granadilla Council’s Department of Employment and Development (Concejalía de Empleo y Desarrollo) is running the event and promises rockbottom prices for a variety of products, including toys, IT equipment, fashion and jewellery, plus sportswear and equipment. Additional parking will be available, and there will be plenty of entertainment to amuse the children.

SANTA CRUZ shops in the old town are launching an exciting project by opening on Sundays for the first time. The pilot scheme is being introduced - after much discussion - on 7th April in an attempt to revitalise the pedestrianised tourist area. An agreement was reached this week during a meeting of representatives from the City’s Development Corporation, the Directorate General for Trade of the Canary Islands and other associations. Councillor Florentino Guzman said: “Among the measures agreed are Sunday openings for the retail and ca-

tering establishments nestled in the area, with a complete programme of activities for all ages.” Opening hours will generally be from 11am-7pm and the scheme will continue until December. The venture will be a joint collaboration between employers and trade associations, and a Development Corporation spokesman said: “This new programme will be communicated effectively to the people of Tenerife. “It will be accompanied by a series of advantages and discounts, concerning public transport, car parks and shops, which will be detailed in coming weeks.”

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Consulates warn tourists: Beware Spanish thieves EASTER holidaymakers heading for southern Europe are being warned over increasing thefts and pick-pocketing by Spain’s British Consulates.

Those staying by the Mediterranean have been told: “Look out for your valuables when visiting busy urban areas.” The Consulates are reporting rising trends in the number of street crimes involving stolen passports, money and other valuables. Stolen bags lead to frustration, extra costs and lost holiday time as tourists deal with the consequences. The British Consulate in Barcelona, one of the most popular visitor cities in Europe, issued 1,320 emergency travel documents (ETDs) in 2012 - some 75% of which were the result of stolen passports. This was a 19% increase from 1,072 during the previous year. During the first two months of this year, the number of ETDs issued was 120, which was a 20% rise on the 100 provided during the same period last year. In Madrid, meanwhile, the British Consulate issued 362 ETDs during 2012 – the equivalent of one a day - up 23% from 294 the previous year. During January and February this year 50 were issued, against the 45 during the same period last year. An ETD – which ena-

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THE EDITOR SAYS... Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

Semana Santa Fluffy bunnies, chocolate, shades of yellow and various egg forms adorn the shops and media; it means only one thing – Easter (Semana Santa) is nearly here. bles a traveller to return to the UK if they have lost their passport - currently costs 115 euros (approx 100 pounds). Dave Thomas, Consular Director for Southern Europe, said: “Unfortunately, we have seen increases in pick-pocketing and distraction thefts. We urge holiday-makers to keep an eye on their belongings at all times. “We want to reduce the numbers of British visitors who come to us for help over stolen passports and belongings, so they can get on with enjoying their Easter breaks instead of spending their precious holiday time in our consular offices.” The three main methods used by city criminals are: *Pick-pocketing on public transport and in busy areas *Distraction techniques (asking victims for help or directions, spilling something on clothes and offering to help)

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*Unattended bag and handbag-snatching in hotels, restaurants, cafés, airport and train stations Anyone can be a victim of city crime. Julie Crossley, a family careers support advisor from Hemel Hempstead in Herts, and a regular visitor to Spain, said: “We have been travelling to Reus airport for the last nine years and had never experienced any crime against us, or anyone we know. “So it didn’t even enter our heads that we would become victims ourselves at such a relatively quiet airport. “My husband, looking after our bags as I visited the ladies, was distracted by someone asking where the exit was, and he had no idea our travel wallet had been taken. “And we would say we are seasoned travellers, so don’t be complacent”. A chartered tax adviser, A. Palmer, from Harpenden, also in Herts, had a similar experience. “On the last day of our holiday in Sitges, we were sitting outside a cafe near the train station with our four children and our luggage,” he said. “A local man pulled up in his car and asked for directions, which made us look away from our bags. His accomplice took one of the handbags which contained valuables, including all

our passports. “When we realised, we felt so foolish for being duped and wished we had checked our hand-luggage before we responded, rather than after. It seems so obvious looking back.” Albia Begum, a travel journalist from Lancashire who visited Madrid, said: “I was playing a game with people at one of my favourite hostels in the heart of Madrid. ”I left my bag under the table to go outside for five minutes. When I returned, the game was over and my bag was missing. I had lost my passport, personal possessions and a huge amount of cash. “I tried everything to look for my passport, searching every room in the hostel, leaving a poster, and asking if any security cameras were on. But nobody could help. “I had to apply for an emergency travel passport, pay for my visa again to go to Mauritania in Africa, and use more money to pay for my stay at the hostel. “No matter where you are in the world, you or your personal possessions are not safe - even for a second!” Spain’s British Consulates are working with local police, tour operators, airports, ports, car hire companies and main railway stations to help tackle city crime.

Easter isn’t just about how many inches you can add to your waistline, it’s a religious festival which celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion at Calvary as described in the New Testament. Easter is preceded by Lent, a forty-day period of fasting, prayer, and penance, in modern society people normally give up something for forty days. The last week of Lent is called Holy Week, and it contains Maundy Thursday (also known as Holy Thursday), commemorating the Last Supper. There are numerous activities beginning this weekend taking place throughout the island, the majority of them centred on places of worship. For example the municipality of Arona has a full religious programme beginning today. More information is available on their website www.arona.org. Semana Santa is a large annual event in Adeje with La Pasión, where hundreds of local

people and actors reenact the events of Holy Week. The events begin in Adeje village at noon on Good Friday in La Calle Grande de Adeje. It’s being broadcast live on Canarian Television, TVE. More information is available from www. adeje.es. Guia de Isora is taking a different approach to the traditional celebration of Easter with the processional of fourteen floral montages on Thursday and Friday. On the morning of Holy Thursday, 28 teams will work to recreate fourteen different floral scenes from the Passion. Definitely a spectacle to be witnessed. More information www. guiadeisora.org Remember Thursday and Friday next week are bank holidays here in Tenerife!

Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2013 Canarian Weekly

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What's On

Zara’s Saturday rebellion pays off STAFF at Zara’s budget clothing stores in Bilbao have won a tremendous victory over their bosses, and will be celebrating in the weekend sunshine this summer.

Their union, ELA, took legal action against the company’s decision to stay open on Saturday afternoons and evenings in a bid to combat the recession The Inditex chain,

Granadilla walk

Ruta Los Roques de García There is an organised 4km walk planned for Sunday 14th April, cost 3 euros, places are limited, booking is open from now until the 10th April.

Joe Longthorne & George King Friday 19th April Showtime, Karting Las Americas Time: 9pm Tickets:25 euros Call: (+34) 669 622 622 Online: www.showtimetenerife.com

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a global household name owned by Spain’s richest man, Amancio Ortega, used to close its various stores at lunchtime on Saturday and reopen on Monday morning during the peak summer months of July and August. That was in keeping with other shops in the city, and workers complained that they used to enjoy those sunny afternoons off on Saturdays. Their union agreed, telling the court: “It is a “‘fundamental right of shop workers and that

one sole firm has no business going against the standard working conditions agreement (convenio colectivo), laid down for a given industry.” Now, following the union’s legal victory. the status quo has been reinstated and Inditex will revert to the regular July and August procedure in all its stores in the Bilbao province of Vizcaya. The Galicia-based empire, is most famous outside of Spain for its cut-price Zara stores and the smart-casual

Trafaluc range. In Spain, other parts of southern Europe and in some Latin American cities, , the other Inditex chains are exceptionally popular. These include cutprice teenage and young fashions stores Bershka and Stradivarius, children’s-wear retailer Kiddy’s Class, budget streetwear firm Pull&Bear, underwear chain Oysho, upperend high-street shops Uterqüe and Massimo Dutti, and interior decoration store Zara Home.

Kids want more of mum and dad THE Facebook campaign Date tiempo para ser papá (Give yourself time to be a parent) on Tuesday - Father’s Day gave mums and dads a timely reminder. It told them that parents were “among the best playmates for their children”, and it followed new research by the Child’s Play Observatory (OJI) which claimed that 70%.of parents in Spain say they

do not have time to play with them. Children actually spend just 10% of their time with mum and dad. yet 60% of them pester parents to join in with their games, and they prefer the company of their family to that of their friends. But this 10% of time translates to two hours a day of undivided attention, even though the OJI still believes kids need more.

Their research shows that the average 21stCentury child spends most of the day in the company of his or her teachers, 20% of the day with mum and 10% with dad. But grandparents feature strongly in their lives, since the kids spend up to one-quarter of their day with them. The OJI feels that by playing with their parents, children learn correct behaviour, how to

follow rules, where the boundaries are and how to have fun. In the process, they strengthen the emotional ties with the most important people in their lives. “Playing with your children is not a waste of time,” say the researchers. “Children need to play in order to grow and develop, and parents are an important figure in this development.”

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Feature

Tenerife Sunshine

making sure the sun always shines on you! TENERIFE SUNSHINE, the British-owned travel agents, really do speak your language - and they listen to yours! That’s why, after hearing all the customer feedback, they’ve moved their head office to Los Cristianos because the car-parking facilities are better. And that move really is down to their clients, because they suggested it. Tenerife Sunshine are here to cater for your every need, especially if you need a flight, a ferry, airport transfer, somewhere to stay, a cruise or an excursion while you’re here, or simply a money transfer. Vanessa, who owns the company, told Canarian Weekly: “Our customers have stated that car parking has always been a problem at our original office, near The Patch in Las Americas. “So, after taking heed, and taking a good look at our sales figures, we have now moved our headquarters and travel centre to Los Cristianos.”

The new office is located on the front of the Cristian Sur complex, opposite the Funchal strip of bars and Restaurante Margarita. Vanessa added: “Our travel and online excursion business has shown a massive 200% increase from 2011 to 2012, which is positive proof that the internet is most definitely the way forward.” But it’s not all about filling in boxes online, Tenerife Sunshine’s secret, as well as their keen pricing, is the high standard of customer service they offer. Unlike most online companies, Tenerife Sunshine back up all their sales with a comprehensive live contact system by way of email, telephone, live chat via the website or simply by customers calling into one of their three offices. They are based at Los Cristianos, Cristian Sur; the well-established Troya office, opposite the Monkey Beach Bar on Troya beach in Playa de Las Americas as well as the San Eugenio of-

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fice, open since 2004, opposite Hotel Jardin Tropical on the road down towards Puerto Colon. Tenerife Sunshine will not just offer what you can purchase through the internet. They have access to every single trade flight possible - providing they are not already full, of course! Gone are the old days when British Expats needed to fly back to the UK in order to take a long-haul break. Tenerife Sunshine’s direct collaboration with major operators such as Fred Olsen, Thomson, Viking River Cruises, MSC, Iberia and Holland America, to name but a few, as well as many prestigious hotel groups worldwide, means they can offer you EXACTLY what you want - and when you want it! They have holidays to suit ALL budgets, whether it be a worldwide cruise, weekend break, skiing holiday, Canary Island hop, or an American adventure holiday, Tenerife Sun-

shine will handle the stress and strain and guide you to your perfect choice. Their website is easy to navigate and offers a large variety of excursions, together with both days and nights out, which are all bookable online. And very soon, you will also be able to book your own

hotel at the push of a button. The company offer one of the highest rates of money exchange in the area, accompanied by a full Banco Espana licence, which means changing currency with no hidden charges has never been so stressfree! Don’t be fooled into

believing that the internet will always offer you the cheapest option. Instead, try Tenerife Sunshine and let them quote you happy! It’s an absolute fact: TENERIFE SUNSHINE, the professional, experienced Britishowned travel agent, really do speak your language!

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El Puertito invaders to be sent packing RESIDENTS of El Puertito appear to be winning their battle against the illegal influx of motorhomes and campers in their tiny fishing village on the coast of Adeje. The villagers - just 53 in all - have complained for years about the interlopers and now, Adeje Council and the Local Police are putting their foot down over the Easter holidays by bringing in the bulldozers! Environment Councillor Esther Rivero Vargas said: “Our main concern is the care of the environment and the friendly spirit of the neighbourhood, which

is being jeopardised by these people, especially during holiday periods. “It is a sensitive area of the municipality and

they cause great inconvenience to the residents, especially as there are no services to accommodate the socalled tourists.”

She added: “There is also the matter of security issues because El Puertito is a very small area of Adeje, which is accessed by a very narrow road, on which ambulances have struggled in the past to gain entrance.”

The beach there, although complying with health and safety regulations, lacks the amenities found in other coastal beaches, which have camping concessions. As well as bulldozing the vacant lot close

to the beach to deter the outsiders, Adeje Council has also placed signs strictly banning motorhomes and tents from getting established there. In addition, an authorised parking area for cars has been marked out and, said Cllr Esther Rivero: “The Local Police have agreed to respond quickly to any complaints, and offenders will be sanctioned and dealt with rapidly.” Despite previous interventions by Adeje Council in El Puertito, the holiday onslaught has continued to grow by the year, “Residents have always complained about the mobile caravans at every meeting we have had with them,” said the Councillor. “We believe that as Adeje’s public administration, we should try to resolve the problem with all the means at our disposal.”

Pension reform likely to hammer self-employed THOUSANDS of self-employed workers may be left struggling because of the Spanish Government’s new pension reform.

The “early-retirement” age has been raised from 60 to 65, which means workers will need to have been paying into the system for 35 years before easing up. Even then there is a catch because they must have paid into the system as full-time workers - and part-time work is now calculated on a pro-rata basis. So someone working 20 hours a week instead of 40 will have paid a stamp for just six months of every year. The Union of SelfEmployed Workers’ and Business Owners’ Associations (UATAE)

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warns that these get-tough pension conditions will mostly affect those who work for themselves. Many self-employed people in their 50s and early 60s, who are now struggling to find enough work to keep afloat, would be better off retiring. That, says the UATAE, would at least leave opportunities for younger, jobless people who have maybe 40 years of their working life left María José Landaburu, the union’s SecretaryGeneral, said: “For all those people who work for themselves, this move is a harsh, backward step which will force them to stay in the rat-race, even though they have little or no work to enable them to survive. “And this will prevent them from being able to

hand the reins over to younger people.” She criticised the “lack of communication” with the community of affected workers, and the lack of a Parliamentary debate to allow everyone a say, which would have helped prevent the negative effects of the pension reform on workers. The UATAE, which believes 30-40,000 workers could be affected, says increasing the early-retirement age means even fewer jobs will be available to younger people at a time when there is not enough work enough to go round. And an increase in the minimum number of years of paying social security means many of those now in their early years and jobless may never get a chance to retire, warns the union.

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Schools now pay hefty price for their bullies

Wi-Fi? It’s free on El Hierro EL HIERRO has become the world’s first “Smart island” with the installation of its brandnew, totally free Wi-Fi network. With 26 Wi-Fi access points scattered across the Canaries’ smallest island in residential areas, towns, village centres and the main tourist attractions, holidaymakers can help themselves. They can also connect to the tourist information office and download the application El Hierro te sigue (“El Hierro is following you”) so they can trace all the

island’s Wi-Fi points. The only downside is that residential homes are not covered, and the download speed is limited to a painfully-slow 256 kilobytes per second. The Wi-Fi network will also be used by authorities to monitor traffic and, officials hope, will later be adapted to help detect and control forest and house fires among other facilities. The Wi-Fi system was opened on Monday by José Manuel Soria Minister for Industry, Energy and Tourism,

together with Alpidio Armas. head of El Hierro’s Tourist Information Department. El Hierro’s local government is now the outright owner of the Wi-Fi network, so it does not come from any other provider which sends regular bills. Parts of the island, such as El Julán and Cala de Tacorón, have no 3G cover or even electricity. But these have been adapted to make use of renewable energy sources to enable them to connect up to the WiFi network.

BULLYING in Spanish schools has risen so much in recent years that many cases end up in court. Up to 40 schools in Spain have been in court for failing to tackle the bullies, research shows, and damages for victims have amounted to as much as 30,000 euros. Cruel playground taunts and insults, as well as school violence, are far more likely to end up in court these days, and education lawyers say their telephones are always ringing. If the bullies are aged 14 or over, the parents of the child concerned can and do turn their legal action towards them. But Spanish law at present dictates that children of 13 or under cannot be considered guilty of a criminal offence, so parents of the victim end up suing the school. The tendency towards taking bullying issues to court rose dramatically after the suicide of a 14-year-old Basque schoolboy, Jokin Zeberio. He threw himself off a wall in 2004 because he could no longer take the constant bad-mouthing, humiliating remarks and punches from his classmates. His death marked a watershed in school bullying because until then, bullying was regarded as “just a normal part of school life”. And those children on the receiving end who complained were told: “Stop being a

baby and stand up for yourself.” Madrid-based lawyer Pedro González’s workload has gone into overdrive since he forced the Amor de Dios private school in Alcorcón to pay compensation of 24,000 euros to a family. He found that the school had breached its duty of care to the 10-year-old son, who suffered repeated bullying - of which the teachers were fully aware yet did nothing to prevent it. In January, this year, the lawyer’s work led to Barcelona’s grantmaintained Ramar de Sabadell school paying compensation of 30,000 euros to a family whose child had suffered in identical circumstances. Another solicitor, Nuria Rebón, maintains that judges appear to be more than willing to find teachers and heads - or the school itself as a whole - guilty of failing in their duty of care and holding them legally liable where they ignore cases of bullying, whether physical or psychological, A study carried out as far back as 2007 found that 23% of children, from infants to sixth form, had suffered some form of ongoing victimising by their classmates. But even though it is eight years since Jokin Zeberio’s suicide, neither the Ministry of Education nor the Ministry of the Interior has been able to produce any statistics concerning the number of cases of bullying

detected annually in Spain. The charity created after the Basque teenager’s death, SOS Bullying, believes schools are better prepared to tackle bullying, detect it early on and prevent it where possible. But the Anti-School Bullying Association (ACAE) says the majority of schools do not know how to deal with the problem. The Ramar de Sabadell school reached an outof-court settlement of 30,000 euros after the parents of a nine-yearold boy appointed Pedro González as their lawyer to pursue the case, but not before recognising that they could have done more to help. The child suffered constant put-downs, digs, humiliating remarks and insults, but tried to brush them aside. Hitting and punching came next, and little boy was given a brutal slap to “mark” his 11th birthday. The child subsequently sank into clinical depression, refused to eat and was terrified of going to school. The parents got nowhere by speaking to the teachers, governors and the head, so they sought legal action. Only some 25% of bullying cases reach the courts, and solicitors warn that pursuing them is extremely expensive. Most say legal action should be a last resort after all other methods have failed, but agree that schools are now waking up to the realism of bullying.

No electricity shocks this time ELECTRICITY bills, which have all but quadrupled over the past five years, are set to go down by 6.7% on 1st April. To the relief of homeowners, Wednesday’s quarterly auction of electrical energy proved favourable and prices tumbled by 15%, although the actual consumption is only about half of the average bill. The 20 million consumers supplied by the State-run electricity boards Iberdrola, Endesa, Gas Natural

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Fenosa, E.On and HC will receive lower bills. But the remaining 6.5 million who use openmarket suppliers will not benefit. The cost of electricity, once almost too cheap to believe against sky-high UK rates, increased steadily for 3½ years, then shot up on several occasions in the last 18 months. In January alone it rose by 3% after the most recent energy auction. Yet tariffs actually fell twice between mid-2009 and the end of 2012. The second price drop

was last September, by 2%, but it went unnoticed because IVA went from 18% to 21%, and the Spanish Government’s decision to freeze rates was overturned several times by the Supreme Court. That meant the extra costs were backdated by some months and added to bills between August and October. As long as the Government does not renege on its pledge not to increase regulated costs, your electricity bills will definitely improve from next month.

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Local News

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They simply can’t get enough Karaoke 2013! TENERIFE Loves Karaoke 2013 returned to Churchills in Los Cristianos - the venue which hosted heat one in 2011 and 2012 - and it was great to be back with Dave and Lou for a third time. Judges were Jamie Drew (Oasis Fm presenter, and renowned as a great compère and wonderful singer), John Zammit (Head of Sales for Oasis Fm), Ray King (Churchills compère), and superstar resident Barry, who was drafted in as Dave and Lou were going to be way too busy serving the throng to take any time out for judging. Registration began, and a full card of 12 entrants was shuffled into performance order. Being a wellestablished venue meant that several long-time visitors took part, and this led to the variety of songs being even wider than the opening heat. First up was Eddie who sang the John Paul Young classic Love is in the Air. It was received warmly, and set the standard for the evening. Next on stage was Jim, whose rendition of the Killers’ Human was very strong, and

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whose voice was rather reminiscent of a young Meatloaf. Third up was Hayley, who chose an Avril Lavigne number I’m With You, which covers a huge range, and Hayley coped well with the demands of the song. Churchills’ regular Mike was a late entrant, being cajoled into the competition by host Maggie Lennard, as well as the companions at his table. Walk Away was Mike’s second choice of song, but, nevertheless, he produced a solid rendition. Last week’s runnerup, Craig, returned in search of a win, and his sparkling rendition of Bublé’s Cry Me a River sent the place into a frenzy. This young man’s

voice and presentation will take him far. Somebody had to follow early front-runner Craig, and this task fell to Tenerife karaoke veteran Rena (Eddie’s other half). Rena chose the Tom Jones version of I Who Have Nothing and proved that she had far more than that, with superb control and power in all the right places. Former Oasis FM Dj Alan Taylor, taking a break in Tenerife, was a welcome surprise to many in the bar, and he decided to sing Dire Straits’ Sultans of Swing. Much to the disappointment of the familiar faces in the audience, though, he

declined to slip into his once-legendary club-singer style. Rob changed the tone of the evening with his singalong Travellin’ Light, delivering the popular Cliff Richard song very well. Ninth in the running order was Laura, returning to TLK 2013 for a second week, on the hunt for a trophy, or maybe even a place in the Grand Final. Laura changed tactics this week and chose Boyzone’s Picture of You, declaring it “the only remotely-cheery song” she knows. It paid off, and both Laura and the audience seemed to enjoy it immensely. Next up was Gary, who had also entered the competition at Harvey’s

the previous week. This week, however, the wig and glasses were dispensed with, and a serious rendition of Lionel Richie’s Stuck on You was performed well. With two to go, nobody had a clue what was about to happen. Ellie chose Suds in the Bucket, a little known country song, originally recorded by the evenless known Sara Evans. If there had been a trophy for “Leastknown song, performed brilliantly, and complete with top-notch singing and energetic dance,” then Ellie would have walked it. The final entrant completed a quartet of people having a second crack at a place in the final. Teenager Ashley stuck with his choice from the previous heat, and it was obvious he meant business. The 14-year-old’s Cry Me a River was much improved and welldelivered, receiving an excellent reception from everyone. The computerised scoring system whirred into action, and the final three were soon announced in talentshow style. So, “in no particular order”, Ashley, Laura and Craig progressed from the line-up and chose their sing-off numbers. Laura drew the short straw and had to go first. She chose the Daniel Merriweather song Red, a tune she is familiar with, and though it

was less cheery than her qualifying song, she gave her all and set a high standard for the others to follow. Craig was next to go, and opted to sing his qualifying song from the previous heat. He provided another moving and note-perfect performance of Adele’s Make You Feel My Love, which again had the audience on their feet in appreciation. Then, all eyes and ears fell on Ashley, who chose a song by Chicago indie-pop group the Plain White T’s. Hey There Delilah is a simple composition with wonderful lyrics. Ashley delivered it beautifully, placing particular emphasis on the line “Two more years and I’ll be done with school,” which were obviously poignant for him. At just before midnight, the evening drew to a close. Ashley was placed third, with Laura in second, and the runaway winner was Craig, who has shown versatility and a wonderful voice. His personality makes him a crowd favourite, and he seemed genuinely delighted to have made the final, to be held at Showtime Tenerife. *The next Tenerife Loves Karaoke heat takes place on th Thursday (28 March) at Springer’s Bar, on the El Mirador Strip, Los Cristianos.

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World News

One more reason for you to choose Liberty Seguros L I B E R T Y SEGUROS, the No1 insurer for Expats living in Spain, give back 50 euros straight into your bank account when you take out car or home insurance before 31st May.

It’s another reason to choose Liberty Seguros because, in times like these, when it comes to important financial matters such as insurance, one wants to be insured with the market leader. LIBERTY SEGUROS, one of the most reputable insurance companies in the world, with over 150.000 expat clients in Spain alone, will take care of your every need, and pay out promptly should you ever have to make a claim!

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Their hand-picked brokers speak English, Spanish, German, Dutch and ‘Scandinavian languages’, so they can give you the ins and outs

on Liberty’s extensive policies in your own language! LIBERTY SEGUROS’ car insurance offers total coverage to driver

and passengers in case of an accident, and also provides roadside assistance from zero kilometres. With no-claims

discounts of up to 55%, they offer their clients the very best value for money. LIBERTY SEGUROS’ Home Insurance gives you total piece of mind and includes 24-hour Home Assistance, as well as All-risk accidental damage to both contents and building. They will also provide discounts for security measures, and give you the option to pay in instalments. Go to www. libertyexpatriates.es for an instant quote and the name of your nearest

LIBERTY SEGUROS broker, and find out how you can enjoy a 50-euro Cash Back into your bank account: Premiums must be paid by direct debit and exceed 450 euros for Car Insurance or 275 euros for Home Insurance. Not for renewals or replacements. Terms and conditions apply. Visit www. libertyexpatriates.es now, give them a call in your own language on 902 255 258, or discover where to find your nearest LIBERTY SEGUROS broker.

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World News

White weekend, and more UK misery’s on the cards SPRING began officially on Tuesday, and the British should have been getting ready to welcome bluebells and daffodils to the countryside. Instead, the appalling, unrelenting snow, sleet and rain, which has plagued the UK throughout the dreadful winter months, shows no signs of abating. Much of Britain is expected to be hit by significant snowfalls this weekend, causing disruption to transport everywhere. March has already seen heavy snow in parts of the UK, and large swathes are facing a white weekend. Snow was expected overnight in Northern Ireland, Wales, the Midlands, northern England and southern and western Scotland. And commuters

received warnings of morning rush-hour chaos today (Friday) as strong gusts were set to combine with the anticipated deluge to cause blizzard-like conditions. Dozens of flood alerts have been issued by the Environment Agency for south-east England, while the Met Office put out several severe weather warnings for the weekend. Sky News weather presenter Nazaneen Ghaffar said yesterday (Thursday) lunchtime: “The rain across south-

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west England, southern Wales and the south of the Republic of Ireland will continue moving north-eastwards into tonight. “As it does, it hits the cold air coming in from the east and so it will turn to snow, giving significant accumulations by the early hours of the morning.” Outbreaks of rain across south-western parts of the UK and Ireland brought the risk of flooding and, she added: “Throughout Friday, outbreaks of

sleet and snow will continue, with windy conditions. “And it will be windy and cold over the weekend, with further outbreaks of snow, especially across northern England, Wales and the Midlands.” Meanwhile, a wet and windy weekend has been forecast for some Spanish regions, just as residents are setting off early for their Easter holidays. Most of western Andalucía and over the border in Extremadura, as well as the north-western region of Galicia, will be hit by torrential rain and storms over the weekend because of a cold front coming over from the Atlantic. The Canary Islands could also see downpours, thunder and lightning, but the south and east of Spain, and the Balearic Island,s are likely to escape most of it.

Old woman in car drowning tragedy AN elderly woman drowned after the car in which she was sitting slid into a river from a ferry slipway.

It plunged into the River Fal while waiting to board the King Harry Ferry near Truro, Cornwall, on Wednesday afternoon. Her body was recovered by emergency services two hours later, and police said the male driver was not in the vehicle at the time. The incident sparked a huge search-and-rescue operation involving police and divers alongside fire crews, the Falmouth and Portscatho Coastguard,

the all-weather RNLI lifeboats and the Royal Navy S&R helicopter from Culdrose. King Harry Ferry operators said in a statement that the car went over when the ferry was at the Feock side of the river. The statement also said: “Our heartfelt thoughts go out to the friends and family of everyone involved in this tragedy.” The ferry, which has been running since 1888, connects St Mawes and the Roseland Peninsula with Feock, Truro and Falmouth. It is an alternative route to a 27-mile journey through Truro and Tresillian and an excellent time-saver.

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Feature

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Showtime presents The best of Tenerife Comedy Club 2013! TOBY WILLIAMS is a brilliant comedy writer/performer, actor and voice-over actor, whose alter-ego is the equally witty Dr George Ryegold. Toby lives in London and has appeared in the capital’s top clubs, as well as various other hot spots around the UK. His show at last year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, George Ryegold’s God-InA-Bag, was in The Scotsman’s Top Five Comedy Shows at the Fringe and he also appeared in Dave’s ‘Top 10 Funniest Jokes of the Fringe. He brings his brand of comedy back to Tenerife tomorrow night (Saturday) with Dr George Ryegold when he stars alongside Philberto, Paul F Taylor,

and MC Will Mars at Showtime’s Best of the Tenerife Comedy Club in Las Americas, Canarian Weekly pounced on Toby this week and learned some revealing facts about him. CW: How, why & when start in comedy? Toby: Called up a guy for an open spot (turned out to be a folk night. Don’t know why he didn’t mention that). I had to. That was on 28th April, 2007. What was your break/ turning point? Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2008 broke my spine on its knee. A break and a turning point. Favourite place performed? Places I think I’m going to die on my hole but don’t. (Most places). Did you have an Edinburgh show this year? If so, what was it

all about? Yes. George Ryegold being a simpleton or a genius. Maybe both. What’s your aim/goal in comedy? Don’t be sh*t. Describe your style of comedy in 3 words. I. Don’t. Know. Name a 3-song playlist that sums you up as a person. Are there 3 songs entitled Drunken, Childish and Tw*t? If you knew tomorrow was your last day, how would you spend it? Under a duvet watching Homes Under The Hammer, drinking port, writing a long list of all my regrets. Who’s your favourite cartoon character, & why? Pops from Regular

Show. He’s either a simpleton or a genius. Maybe both. I like his laugh. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? Blowing up electronic equipment with my rage. What’s the strangest thing you have in your house? My neighbours. Do you ever dance when there’s no music playing? My neighbours always play music. If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Wine. What’s your motto in life? More

You can catch Toby Williams (and Dr George Ryegold) at the Best Of The Tenerife Comedy Club, tomorrow (Saturday) evening alongside Philberto, Paul F Taylor, and Will Mars, at Showtime, Las Americas. Call 669 622 622 for tickets, or book online at www.showtimetenerife.com Page 16

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World News

OWEN TO HANG UP HIS BOOTS M I C H A E L OWEN, the former England star, will retire from football at the end of the season.

The striker, who became injury-prone in the latter stages of his glittering career, made his name with Liverpool and went on to play for Real Madrid, Newcastle and then Manchester United, briefly, before signing for Stoke this season. But the 33-year-old has had few chances at the Britannia Stadium which, effectively, has ended his career. “It is with an immense amount of pride that I am announcing my intention to retire from professional football at the end of this season,” he wrote on his personal website. He will be best remembered for his fabulous exploits as a youngster

with Liverpool and England. Owen burst on to the international scene as an 18-year-old after terrorising Premier League defences, and scored his most famous goal against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup. The little striker finished with 40 England goals in 89 matches, beaten by Bobby Charlton, Gary Lineker and Jimmy Greaves only on the all-time list. He continued on his

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website: “Having progressed through the ranks at Liverpool to make my first-team debut at 17, before embarking upon spells at Real Madrid, Newcastle United, Manchester United and Stoke City, not to mention representing my country on 89 occasions, I now feel it is the right time to bring the curtain down on my career. “I have been very fortunate in that my career has taken me on a

journey that, like many young players starting out, I could only have dreamt of. “None of this would have been possible without the tremendous support I have received from managers, coaches, fellow players, back-room staff, the supporters and my own personal sponsors. “I would like to thank each and every one for the huge role they have played in helping me reach the top of my profession.” Owen went on to thank his family, for whom he bought houses for all of them, with this special message to his father, Terry, a former pro with Everton and Chester: “We did it my old mate! From those freezing local parks to terrorising the best defenders in the world on the biggest stages of all. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Osborne joins the Twit gang BRITAIN’S Chancellor, George Osborne, became the latest highprofile person to join Twitter when he enlisted on Wednesday. He actually signed up a few hours before delivering his Budget statement to the House of Commons, during which Ed Miliband offered a hashtag joke in his response. “Today the chancellor joined Twitter,” said Labour’s opposition leader. “He could have got it all into 140 characters: growth down, borrowing up, families hit, and millionaires laughing

all the way to the bank. Hashtag downgraded chancellor.” A survey earlier this week revealed that the most popular topic to tweet about was television, with 40%, of evening tweets concerning what was on. Twitter, or Twttr as it was known at the time, began on 21st March 2006, when co-founder Jack Dorsey posted the first ever tweet: “just setting up my twttr”. Since then, more than 200 million people have joined Twitter, and, 400 million tweets are now sent daily.

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Community News

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Paddys raise the roof again ST PATRICK’S DAY is an annual highlight in Tenerife’s social calendar, and Sunday’s celebrations were the biggest yet. Bars were a sea of green as the Island celebrated the Patron Saint of Ireland’s day. Oasis Fm broadcast live from Gaelic Corner and Leonardos. The Dubliner Band, Andy & Vinne, Michael Graham

and Dee Daniels entertained the masses at Gaelic Corner. While The Little Jiggers had a busy afternoon. They were at both venues and wowed the audiences. J&S, Scott Henderson and Aaron Cormack & Alex McRae brought the house down at Leonardos as the celebrations went into the very early hours!

Hector is not such a cool dud DURING our last Fun Walk in Los Cristianos, we did a double take when we saw a dog arrive for the walk wearing some rather dapper sun-shades. We thought he was just a cool dude, trying to impress his new friends. But alas, he has a very unusual condition called “keratitis”, otherwise known as “Pannus”, which is a corneal disease. It is found, primarily, in larger dogs such as

Accion del Sol news

Caring, sharing a community church SUNDAY’S official opening of Cristianos Community Church, in the Video Lounge of the Hotel Sol Princesa Dacil, attracted around 35 people. The inaugural service, on St Patrick’s Day, was conducted by Pastor Adrian McBride and there was an atmosphere of anticipation as he recounted the story and struggles of Ireland’s patron saint, using the example of his life to set the focus of the new church. He outlined it as a community of people supporting and caring for each other - and also the wider community as a whole. For most, he said, the feeling is that Church is a building, music, and a sermon, but it is much more than that. It is about having the real desire to follow the biblical pattern of what ‘Church’ is. It’s about being part of a body of people who both celebrate and live

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out their faith, and that means being there with a caring hope for when life takes a wrong turn, when it gets lonely and when it hangs by a thread. Cristianos Community Church welcomes anyone who wishes to join as it continues to meet every Sunday morning in the Princesa Dacil Hotel at 11am and, from Wednesday (27th March), and subsequent Wednesdays evening at 5pm in the same location for Bible Study and Prayer. You can find out more at www.cristianoscomm unitychurch.com or by telephoning Pastor Adrian McBride on 608 409 016.

German Shepherds, huskies, labradors, retrievers and border collies. This is a slow, progressive disease which is non-painful, but it can lead to blindness. The sun’s UV light can make the disease advance much quicker, and owners are advised to avoid strong daylight hours. Hector’s vet, who has been treating him with steroid eye drops and other various medications, recommended the sunglasses. After much research, a supplier was found in Australia and Hector

had special sunglasses made, which he wears when out and about in the sunshine. We look forward to seeing Hector again this Sunday (24th March) at 4pm on the seafront by the Hotel Conquistador for another walk, complete with his shades! If you would like to make a refuge dog very happy and join us for a walk, then please call Marion on 922778630 to arrange for her to bring a dog along for you to walk, or you are welcome to bring your own dog. Please bring a bottle of water for the dogs. Another very happy little dog named Lily is settling into her new home in Germany. She weighed just 500g when she was brought into the refuge and is now three times that weight - and still piling it on! It is taking a while for her to adapt to the climate change, so most of her walks are spent snuggled up to her owners, Marquardt and Jörg Koll. Accion del Sol is always looking for people to walk the refuge dogs. If you have some spare time and would like to volunteer, please call to make a few animals really happy. The refuge is situated at the Granadilla Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to the ecological park ITER, by the windmills. And if you would like to assist us in any other way, please call 922 778 630 for more information, or drop in. We are open to the public from Monday to Friday (3-6pm).

Welcome centres for families TENERIFE Family church encompasses three churches in the South of the Island. And these churches are looking forward to welcoming residents, children and holidaymakers alike to celebrate the joy of Easter. The churches are within the pastoral care of Pastor Bill Jeffrey and Pastor Roz Jeffrey,

who can be contacted on 609 565 528. Easter Sunday Services 10am: Costa del Silencio Church, Lower Square, Coral Mar) 11am: Best Tenerife Hotel, Playa de Las Americas (excellent disabled access) 6pm: The Living Room (above Burger King, Veronicas, Las Americas). Unsuitable for disabled visitors

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Foyle’s War Don't Miss... Toughest Place To Be A… Fireman See page 26

Sports Life Stories: Barry McGuigan See page 32

Sun 24 Mar 2013, ITV1, 20.00 The Eternity Ring. Michael Kitchen stars again as the thoughtful and enigmatic Foyle but in this new series (series eight) we will see him in a different and exciting new role – working for British Secret Intelligence. With one war ended, a new one is looming as the iron curtain falls across Europe. MI5 suspects British atomic research has been infiltrated, and ask Foyle to investigate whether a Russian spy network could be at work in the heart of London.

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TV Guide

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Friday Friday Friday 06:00 ...........................Breakfast 09:15 ....................Heir Hunters 10:00 .................. Homes Under the Hammer 11:00.... Caught Red Handed 11:30.................... Real Rescues 12:15 ...................Bargain Hunt 13:00 .......... BBC News at One 13:30 ........ BBC London News 13:45 ............................. Doctors 14:15 ..............................WPC 56 Drama following WPC 56 Gina Dawson, the first woman police constable to serve in her West Midlands hometown in 1956. Gina's life is put in mortal danger when an attempt to lure the killer takes a deadly twist.

15:00 .................. Beat the Pack 15:45 ............ Countryside 999 16:30 ............................... Flog It! Antiques series. The team are at Exeter Cathedral where experts Caroline Hawley and Mark Stacey come across some unusual items such as a 19th-century 3D sewing work created by a girl of thirteen, a WWI postcard album and a travelling communion set.

17:15 ........................... Pointless 18:00 ....... BBC News at Six 18:30 ... BBC London News 19:00 .......... The One Show 19:30 .......... Rip Off Britain 20:00 ............... EastEnders 20:30 ...............MasterChef 21:00 ................ New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric group of ex-police officers brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. Ministry of Defence spooks try to silence the UCOS team when they reinvestigate the death of British soldier Eric Trimble. Just weeks before a tour of duty in Iraq, Trimble, along with three other squaddies Andy Merrill, Keith Sharratt and Ronnie Glazebrook - was sent to the MoD's Influenza Research Unit (IRU) to take part in a medical trial. One gets beaten to death.

22:00 ...... BBC News at Ten 22:35 .............. The Graham Norton Show 23:20 ....................The Matt Lucas Awards 23:50 ......................Scream

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06:00 ................ Homes Under the Hammer 07:00................. Real Rescues 07:45 .. Caught Red Handed 08:15 ..................Heir Hunters 09:00 .......Holiday Hit Squad 10:00 ..............Question Time 11:00....................... BBC News 11:30.......... BBC World News 12:00 ......... The Daily Politics 13:00 ...................Animal Park 13:30 ................................Coast 13:40 ........ The Weakest Link 14:25................... Mastermind 14:55 ................. How We Won the War 15:25 ..........Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 15:55 ..........Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 16:25........... The Trials of Life 17:15 ...Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ................Eggheads 18:30 ......... Country Show Cook Off Cookery series. It's the final countdown for chefs Jun Tanaka and Galton Blackiston as they reach the end of their five day road trip, where they've been entering some of the UK's toughest food competitions. Their last stop - and their last chance at snatching glory is at Henley, where they're entering the home baking section of the Henley Show. They have just enough time though to visit local food hero Tamsin Borlase whose small but perfectly formed organic farm supplies local restaurants. But the task in hand is soon upon them and it's everything to play for as they take on the brightest bakers of Henley - and each other.

19:00 .... Great Continental Railway Journeys 19:30 .............Great British Menu 20:00 ............Mastermind 20:30 .... Gardeners' World 21:00 .........Ancient Egypt: Life and Death in the Valley of the Kings 22:00 .............................QI 22:30 .............. Newsnight 23:05 ... The Review Show 23:50 ...... Beyond the Fire

06:00 .......................... Daybreak 08:30 .............................Lorraine 09:25 ....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 ................... This Morning 11:25 ...........................ITV News 11:30 ................... This Morning 12:30 ................. Loose Women 13:30 ........................... ITV News and Weather 14:00 ....................... Dickinson's Real Deal 15:00 ............................ The Alan Titchmarsh Show

16:00 ...................Ade in Britain Adrian Edmondson is in the capital today to visit Billingsgate fish market to help prepare a traditional London dish of pie and eels with liquor sauce. Later he meets the Pearly Kings and Queens and cooks up a London particular.

17:00......................... The Chase 18:00 ..... ITV News London 18:30 ............ ITV News and Weather 19:00 ............... Emmerdale With Charity fearing she has lost him for good, Jai makes a big decision. Alicia jeopardises her career to save David's relationship. At Sandy's party, Sean is gutted to see Belle and Thomas kissing.

19:30 ................. World Cup 2014 Qualifier 22:10 ............... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:45 ................. World Cup 2014 Qualifier Highlights. Matt Smith is joined by Gareth Southgate and Andy Townsend for extended highlights of England's first competitive game of the year as they travel to San Marino for a World Cup qualifier. Roy Hodgson's men won comfortably 5-0 against the part-timers at Wembley back in October and they will be looking for a similar result as they maintain their Group H challenge.

23:50 ......... River Monsters

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TV Guide

y Friday Friday Friday 22 March 06:10 ....................... The Hoobs 07:05........... According to Jim 07:30 ............Everybody Loves Raymond 08:25 ................................Frasier 10:00 ................ Grand Designs Australia 11:00 .................... Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00............. Channel 4 News 12:05 ..... Come Dine with Me 12:35 ............What's Cooking? 13:45 ......... A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 14:45 ..................... Countdown 15:30 .................. The Common Denominator 16:00 ..............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ..... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ...........The Simpsons 18:30 ................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ....... Channel 4 News 20:00 .. Come Dine with Me 21:00 ....... 8 Out of 10 Cats 21:30 ..........The Last Leg CW CHO ICE 22:00 .................. Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:10 ...............Jimmy Carr: Being Funny

06:00....................Children's TV

19:00 .............. Doctor Who 19:45 .............. Doctor Who 20:30 ...............Snog, Marry, Avoid? 21:00.................Meet the W C Multiples CHOICE 22:00 ....... Russell Howard's Good News

08:35 ... Roary the Racing Car 08:50...... Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00....................... Tickety Toc

06:00............................European Tour Golf Maybank Malaysian Open (Day 2). Day two of the Maybank Malaysian Open from the Kuala Lumpur Golf and Country Club.

09:15............. The Wright Stuff

10:00 ................................Cricket

11:10 ................................. Trisha

11:00 ............................ Ringside

12:00 ................. Looney Tunes 12:05........ 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ....... Dangerous Drivers' School 13:15............ Home and Away 13:45..................... Neighbours 14:15.......... Person of Interest 15:15.......NYC: Tornado Terror

The boxing show with all the latest news and views from inside the ring. There are interviews with all the top pros and experts are on hand to give their opinions.

12:00 ..............The Rugby Club An expert panel of guests weigh in on all the talking points from the world of rugby union. Plus, interviews with some of the biggest names in the game.

17:00...................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ..................... Neighbours 18:00 .......Home and Away 18:30 ...................... 5 News 19:00 ........World's Scariest Near Misses 20:00 .....Ice Road Truckers 21:00 ........... The Mentalist 22:00 ....... CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00 ................................Cricket

23:55 ..... Inside Hollywood

21:00 .......................Cricket

06:00 ...............................Cricket

07:00...............................Carpool 07:10................... Dragons' Den 08:10.......................... Fifth Gear 09:00 ............................Top Gear 11:00.................. Dragons' Den 12:00 ................Disaster House 12:30.............. Motorway Cops 13:00............................ Top Gear 15:00 ..... Ray Mears' Northern Wilderness 16:00................ Disaster House 16:30 ..............Motorway Cops 17:00 ............................Top Gear 18:00 .................... Top Gear 19:00 .................Ray Mears' Northern Wilderness 20:00 .......................... Suits 21:00 ......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00 ........................ Extras 22:40 ..........................QI XL 23:40 .......................... Suits

11:30 .............. Premier League Darts 2013 15:00............................ Ringside 16:00............................... Cricket 17:00 ...............................Cricket 18:00 ...............NBA Action

Best Bits. The best bits from the topical comedy show in which Russell Howard offers up his unique perspective on the news stories that have dominated the media over the past seven days. In search of the weird, the wonderful and the just plain odd, Russell and his crack team plough through over 60 news channels from across the world, read over 140 newspapers and watch over 1,000 clips all for the viewers' pleasure.

18:30 ...................... Cricket

22:30 ................ EastEnders 23:00 ................ Family Guy 23:25 ................ Family Guy 23:45 .......... American Dad!

22:15 .............. The Fantasy Football Club

19:30 .................... Football

23:15 ...... Golden Moments of European Football

22nd March - 28th March 2013

13:55 ................................Cricket

06:00 ................... Got to Dance 06:30 ................... Got to Dance 07:00 ................... Got to Dance 07:30 ................... Got to Dance 08:00 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter 08:30 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter 09:00........................... Lie to Me 10:00 ....................The F1 Show 11:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ........................... Lie to Me 15:00.................. Stargate SG-1 16:00 .................. Stargate SG-1 17:00 .......................The Middle 18:00 ............John Bishop's Only Joking 18:30 ........... The Simpsons 19:00 ........... The Simpsons 19:30 ........... The Simpsons 21:00 ........An Idiot Abroad 22:00 ...........Spartacus: War of the Damned 23:15 ............... The FI Show

06:00...... Star Trek: Enterprise 07:00......................................... ER 08:00 ......................Blue Bloods 09:00...... Star Trek: Enterprise 10:00......................................... ER 11:00 ......................Blue Bloods 12:00............................ Star Trek: Enterprise 13:00 .................................House 14:00 .................................House 15:00...................... Blue Bloods 16:00............................ Star Trek: Enterprise 17:00 .........................................ER 18:00 ........................House 19:00 .........................House 20:00 ............... Blue Bloods 21:00 ........................ Treme 22:15 .................. CarnivĂ le 23:30 .............. Blue Bloods

06:00........Nothing to Declare 06:30.............................. Nothing to Declare 07:00................................. Maury 08:00................................. Maury 09:00....................... The Biggest Loser USA 10:00................Criminal Minds 11:00................Criminal Minds 12:00..............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 13:00..............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................Criminal Minds 15:00................Criminal Minds 16:00........................... Lion Man 16:30...RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00......................Customs UK 17:30......................Customs UK 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ......... Criminal Minds 20:00 ................Elementary 21:00 ......... Criminal Minds 22:00 ......................... Chase 23:00 .........................Bones

06:00 .......................Emmerdale 06:55 ............ Planet's Funniest Animals 07:25....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show US 08:10.... You've Been Framed! 08:40 .......................Judge Judy 09:35 .......Winners and Losers 10:35 ....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:35 ................ The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 .......................Emmerdale 13:30 .......................Judge Judy 14:00..The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 17:05................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 .........The Jeremy Kyle Show US 19:00 ..You've Been Framed! 21:00 ............... Knocked Up 23:40 .................... Gremlins

W C C H O IC E

The Last Leg Channel 4, 21:30

The award-winning live gang show takes a joyful, offbeat take on the week; aiming to celebrate all that is best about Britain. Host Adam Hills, alongside co-hosts Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker, provide an intelligent, alternative commentary on the significant moments of the past seven days, as well as pulling out hidden gems, and weird and wonderful talking point stories. In front of a live studio audience, celebrity guest Jo Brand joins Adam, Alex and Josh on The Last Leg sofa, as the gang tackle the issues of the week.

Meet the Multiples BBC3, 21:00

Bringing up one baby is a great experience for many parents, but it can also be stressful and overwhelming with through-the -night feeds, nappy changing and tantrums, not to mention the cost. One baby can set mum and dad back an average of 10,000 pounds in the first year. Now imagine that multiplied when you're bringing up twins, triplets, quadruplets and more. It's happening more and more in Britain, with a large increase in the number of multiples born in the last ten years.

Page 23

TV Guide

W C C H O IC E

www.canarianweekly.com

Saturday

06:00 ...........................Breakfast

06:00.............................. Preview

10:00 ..Saturday Kitchen Live

07:30 ........ Great British Menu

06:00 ................. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

11:30 .................... Nigel Slater's Simple Cooking

08:00........ Great British Menu

06:25............................ The Hive

08:30 ........ Great British Menu

06:35 ............................ The Hive

09:00 ........ Great British Menu

06:45 ...........................Dino Dan

09:30 ........ Great British Menu

07:00 ...........................Dino Dan

10:00 ...................... A History of Britain by Simon Schama

07:10............................ Canimals

11:00........Meet the Ancestors 11:30............................Map Man

07:40 .......................Matt Hatter Chronicles

12:00................. Country Show Cook Off

08:05 .............................Ultimate Spider-Man

12:30 ................. Country Show Cook Off

08:30......................... Victorious

13:00 ................. Country Show Cook Off

09:25 ...........................ITV News

Nigel Slater continues his exploration of brilliant culinary combinations. In this episode, he unravels the magic behind the combination of sugar and spice, revealing why this exotic marriage works so well in the kitchen. Alongside a classic cinnamon, ginger and plum cake, Nigel demonstrates some unexpected recipes that also have sugar and spice at their heart - such as sticky ribs, and a spicy lentil stew with caramelised onions. Continuing on his journey to meet fellow passionate cooks, Nigel heads to Sherwood Forest to sample a sweetly-spiced pancake that has the locals flocking

Mrs. Brown's Boys

12:00......................... BBC News 12:15 ................Football Focus

BBC1, 21:30

13:30 ................. Country Show Cook Off

13:00 .................. F1: Grand Prix Qualifying

14:00 ................. Country Show Cook Off

14:15 ..... Richard Hammond's Secret Service

Cookery series. It's the final countdown for chefs Jun Tanaka and Galton Blackiston as they reach the end of their five day road trip, where they've been entering some of the UK's toughest food competitions. Their last stop - and their last chance at snatching glory is at Henley, where they're entering the home baking section of the Henley Show. They have just enough time though to visit local food hero Tamsin Borlase whose small but perfectly formed organic farm supplies local restaurants. But the task in hand is soon upon them and it's everything to play for as they take on the brightest bakers of Henley - and each other. The category is six small decorated cakes and the job is simple; pull out all the stops and make this your best bake ever!

iMammy (Batteries Not Included). Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch and her family. Baby fever hits the Brown household as a pregnant Maria prepares for motherhood, and Agnes is keen to give her new daughter-in-law her unique brand of advice about raising children. Maria is grateful when Agnes offers to look after the robot baby she has brought home from her pre-natal class, but it turns out that Mrs Brown's babysitting techniques are not exactly orthodox. And Maria has some exciting news for the Brown family. Starring: Brendan O'Carroll, Dermot O'Neill, Jennifer Gibney, Danny O'Carroll, Fiona O'Carroll, Paddy Houlihan.

14:55................ Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five 15:15........... National Treasure 17:15 ...............Kung Fu Panda 18:40 .................. BBC News 19:00 ................... Pointless 19:45 ............. The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins

turday Numbers for Sa 23 March are:

The Jonathan Ross Show

Bonus Ball

ITV1, 21.20 Oscar-winning film-maker Danny Boyle talks about his new thriller Trance, actors Ian McShane and Nicholas Hoult discuss starring in fantasy adventure Jack the Giant Slayer, and American singer-songwriter Bobby Womack joins Blur frontman Damon Albarn in the studio to chat and perform together. Last in the series.

Page 24

21:30.Mrs. Brown's Boys

CW CHO ICE

22:00 ................. BBC News 22:15 ............ The Proposal

07:25......................... Bookaboo

09:00 ..................................Jessie 09:30 ....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show US 10:20 .............. My Tasty Travels with Lynda Bellingham 11:20 ..................... Dinner Date 12:20........................... ITV News and Weather 12:25 ......................You've Been Framed! 12:55 ............... Any Which Way You Can 15:00......................... The Chase 16:00....... Midsomer Murders 18:00 ..... ITV News London 18:15 ............ ITV News and Weather 18:30 ................You've Been Framed! 19:00.........Ant and Dec's CW Saturday Night CHOICE Takeaway

14:30 ..................... Mastermind

20:20 ....................The Cube

15:00 .... University Challenge

21:20.........The Jonathan W C Ross Show CHOICE

15:30 ..................... Hairy Bikers' Best of British 16:20....Restoration Home

CW CHO ICE

17:20 ..............The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 19:00 ....................... Flog It!

20:40 ....................Casualty

07:20 ........................... Canimals

20:00 ............... Dad's Army 20:30 ........... Natural World 21:30 ...............Project Nim 23:05 ....................... Zodiac

Jonathan's guests include filmmaker and the mastermind behind the opening ceremony of the Olympics Danny Boyle, and stars of Jack the Giant Slayer Nicholas Hoult and Ian McShane. Plus music legends Bobby Womack and Damon Albarn chat and perform live.

22:20 ............ ITV News and Weather 22:35 ....................... You, Me and Dupree

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

Saturday 06:00........ The Treacle People 06:10........................ The Hoobs 06:35 ....................... The Hoobs 07:00 ..............Freesports on 4 07:30 ............Mobil 1 The Grid 07:55.......... The Morning Line 08:55............ Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 ................................Frasier 10:55 ....The Big Bang Theory 11:50 ................. The Simpsons 12:15 ................. The Simpsons 12:45 ..............Deal or No Deal 13:45 .......... Channel 4 Racing 16:05 ..... Come Dine with Me 18:10 .. Come Dine with Me 18:35 ....... Channel 4 News 18:55 ..............4thought.tv 19:00 ........... Sarah Beeny's Selling Houses 20:00 .......... Grand Designs 21:00 .................... The Time Traveler's Wife 23:05 ................Big Fat Quiz of the 90s

19:00 .......................... Merlin Fantasy romp based on the legend of King Arthur. When Gwen's father is imprisoned for treason and killed at Uther's behest, Morgana decides she must take revenge. Merlin is stunned to discover just how far she is prepared to go when he uncovers a plot to kill the King. Can the young sorcerer summon the courage to foil her plan, or is this one occasion when he should just sit back and do nothing? After all, his life would be much simpler were Uther not around..

19:45 .......................... Merlin 20:30 ...........Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life 22:20..........Russell Howard's Good News Extra 23:05 .................. Family Guy 23:25.................. Family Guy 23:45 ............American Dad!

TV Guide

Saturday

06:00....................Children's TV 08:30 .........Angelina Ballerina 08:45 ..................... Rupert Bear 09:00 ...............Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom 09:15 .............Toby's Travelling Circus 09:25.... Roary the Racing Car 09:40....................... Jelly Jamm 10:00 ............... Power Rangers: Samurai 10:35..................... Batman: The Brave and the Bold 11:00.......... Inside Hollywood 11:05.......... Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge 12:05 ...........Whale Adventure with Nigel Marven 13:05 ........................ CSI: Miami 14:55 ...........The Green Berets 17:45 ........................Beach Red 19:35 ...... 5 News Weekend 19:40 .......................... NCIS 21:25 ......... Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 22:25 ......... Law and Order: Criminal Intent 23:20 ...................... CSI: NY

06:00 ................ FIFA Futbol Mundial From Serie A to the Bundesliga, from Major League Soccer to the J-League, Futbol Mundial reviews all the football from the world game. Complete with features and analysis.

06:30 .............. Super Rugby Union

March

06:00 ...................Raising Hope

06:00....... Nothing to Declare

06:30 ...................Raising Hope

06:30 .......Nothing to Declare

07:00 .......................The Middle

07:00 ................................ Maury

07:30 .......................The Middle

08:00 ...............Passport Patrol

08:00....................... The Middle

08:30............... Passport Patrol

08:30 .......................The Middle

09:00.......................... Lion Man

09:00 ..............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 10:00 .......................Soccer A.M.

10:30 ............Oz the Great and Powerful: Premiere Special

10:30 .............. Super Rugby Union

12:00.................. John Bishop's Only Joking

11:00....................... The Biggest Loser USA

Super Rugby 2013 Round 6 - Western Force v Cheetahs. Western Force continue their Super Rugby campaign against the Cheetahs at nib Stadium. The Cheetahs claimed the spoils when the two teams last crossed paths.

12:30.................. John Bishop's Only Joking

13:00 ......................Fat Families

13:00.................. John Bishop's Only Joking

14:30 ..........................Sing Date

08:30 .............. Super Rugby Union

14:00 ..........................Sing Date

13:30 ................... Got to Dance

15:00 ...................... The Biggest Loser USA

16:00 .......................... Futurama

17:00....... Nothing to Declare

16:30 .......................... Futurama

17:30 .......Nothing to Declare

13:00 .......................Cricket

17:00 ..................The Simpsons

18:00 .. Nothing to Declare

New Zealand v England 3rd Test (Day 2). Day two of the third test between New Zealand and England from Eden Park.

19:00 .................. Futurama

19:00 ......... Criminal Minds

19:30 ...............A League of Their Own

20:00 ......... Criminal Minds

20:00 ........ An Idiot Abroad

23:00 .....................The Spa

21:00 ................ Night Cops

23:30 ........ Best of Nothing to Declare

12:30 ............. Super Rugby Extra-Time

13:55 ....................... Cricket 21:00 .......................Cricket

22:00 ...... Escape From L.A.

06:00.......................... European Tour Golf

07:05.................. Radical Highs

07:30............................... Cricket

08:10............................ Top Gear

08:30 .......Champions League Weekly

09:00............................ Top Gear

09:00.......................The Fantasy Football Club

11:00 .........Lizard Lick Towing

07:20 .................... Driving Wars

10:00 .............Storage Hunters

10:00 ...................... Soccer A.M.

12:00 ......................Man v Food

12:00 .......................Champions League Weekly

13:00............................ Top Gear

12:30 .............................Football

15:00 .........Lizard Lick Towing

15:00 ...................Rugby Union

16:00............................ Top Gear

Aviva Premiership Rnd 18 - London Wasps v Northampton Saints. London Wasps face Northampton Saints at Adams Park in the Aviva Premiership. The Saints secured their fifth successive win when the teams met at Franklin's Gardens earlier in the campaign.

18:00 ...Total Wipeout USA

17:30 ................ Rugby League 20:00 .......Football League 21:30 ...................... Cricket 22:30 .......... Rugby League

23:00 ..................Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask

22nd March - 28th March 2013

14:00............................ Top Gear

19:00 ......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 20:00 ...............Man v Food 21:00 .......... Not Going Out

23:40 ............Men Behaving Badly

06:00 .........................Petrol Age 07:00 ............................. Seinfeld 07:30............................. Seinfeld 08:00.......................... Fish Town 09:00 ........................Halle Berry 10:00........ Julia Louis-Dreyfus 11:00......................... Petrol Age 12:00......................................... ER 13:00 .........................................ER 14:00 .........................................ER 15:00 ......................Blue Bloods 16:00 ......................Blue Bloods 17:00 ......................Blue Bloods 18:00 ................... Star Trek: Enterprise 20:00 .................Petrol Age 21:00 ...........The Following 22:00 ......Game of Thrones 23:15 ...........................Girls 23:50 ........... The Sopranos

22:00 .. Women Behind Bars

06:00....................... Beauty and the Geek 06:45 ..................All Star Family Fortunes 07:20 .......... Coronation Street Omnibus 08:50....Emmerdale Omnibus 11:40 ......................Britain's Got More Talent 12:45.........................Richie Rich 14:35 ....You've Been Framed! 15:05 .............. Animal Practice 16:30 ....You've Been Framed! 17:00.... You've Been Framed! 17:30 ....You've Been Framed! 18:00 ...............You've Been Framed! 18:30 ............ The Hot Desk 18:45 ................. King Kong 22:20 ..........Celebrity Juice 23:05 ........Couples Retreat

W C C H O IC E Restoration Home BBC2, 16:20

Abbey Lane. Caroline Quentin presents a series following the renovation of historic houses. In Tudor times the majority of houses were timberframed, but only a few survive. Abbey Lane in Warwickshire is a forgotten gem. Believed to date from the early 16th century, this house is not formally protected as a listed building and when it was put on the market, it was clear it needed a lot of work. Professional couple Sally and Stuart, who had been searching for their ideal family home, saw past the decay and bought it. The puzzle surrounding Abbey Lane is that its timber frame is unusually elm and not oak while other architectural features indicate that it was more than a family house.

Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway ITV1, 19:00

Ant and Dec present another fun-packed evening of family entertainment. The world's biggest boy band One Direction are the latest victims of a hilarious prank as the Geordie duo go undercover once again. The Super Computer hits another town and rewards a talented pair with an allexpenses-paid trip to Las Vegas, while one more unsuspecting viewer gets the chance to win the same trip in the live game Vegas or Bust. Someone from the studio audience gets their chance to win the ads, before the fun concludes with the End of the Show Show, featuring a very special guest performance.

Page 25

TV Guide

W C C H O IC E

www.canarianweekly.com

Sunday Sunday Sun 06:00 ...........................Breakfast

06:00.............................. Preview

09:00 ......................The Andrew Marr Show

07:20 ..........My Favourite Wife

06:00 ................ Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

08:45........... Gardeners' World

06:25 ...........................The Hive

10:00 .........The Big Questions

09:15 .......................A to Z of TV Gardening

06:35 ...........................The Hive

10:00 ............Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

07:00 ..........................Dino Dan

11:30 ............Paul Hollywood's Bread

07:20 .......................... Canimals

11:00............... Sunday Politics 12:20.............. Passover: Why is This Night Different? 12:50 .......................Countryfile

Toughest Place To Be A… Fireman BBC2, 21.00 Thirty-four-year-old fire fighter Neil Fairhall heads out to the Amazon jungle to join a small and dedicated team of fire fighters in Mato Grosso state, Brazil, in the last programme in the series. Based at Haywards Heath fire station, Neil admits that the days of tackling huge blazes on a regular basis are long gone and with regular rounds of fire safety teaching and quite a few road traffic incidents, like many fire fighters, he sometimes yearns to put all his training into good use. He joins his host Edimar Dos Santos Abreu, the fire chief of Alianca da Terra fire brigade, in the middle of the dry season when hundreds of fires are guaranteed. The fires, usually set by people trying to grab land for agriculture, often race out of control and they can destroy thousands of hectares of rainforest every year. Edimar and his team of five fire fighters cover an area the size of England and Scotland combined and can spend days in the bush putting out miles of flames with handheld beaters. During his time with the brigade, Neil will battle some massive fires, working deep in the jungle and discovering just how fit his Brazilian counterparts need to be. He’ll also meet the Kamaiura Indians, and indigenous people whose traditional way of life in the jungle is now under threat.

Our Girl BBC1, 21.00 Molly Dawes left school with no qualifications and has ended up working in a local nail bar. She can see her mother, tired to the bone and now pregnant with her sixth child. She can see her father, depressed and angry since losing his job and now finding solace in a pint glass. She feels that life should amount to a whole lot more than that. On the evening of her 18th birthday, she finds herself drunk and throwing up in the doorway of an Army Recruitment Office. She looks up and sees her reflection in the glass. She looks a mess. She looks into the body of the office and sees a life sized model of an Army girl. The Army girl is everything that Molly isn’t but wants to be - respected. The following morning Molly steels herself sufficiently to go into the Army Recruitment Office. After completing an aptitude test, a letter arrives inviting her to go on a two-day assessment course to see if she is a suitable candidate for basic training. This is the first thing she feels she has ever succeeded at in her life. During the two-day visit, she finds it hard to settle. She is a wild child and refuses to be tamed. On the surface she is exactly the type of person the Army would not want, but they see some potential in her. If that potential can be harnessed they think she could be an asset to the service but ultimately it is up to Molly to find it within herself to complete the training and turn her life around.

Page 26

Lyme Bay. Countryfile is in Lyme Bay where the rugged west Dorset and east Devon coastlines meet. Julia Bradbury is exploring its rich geological history, which has made this place a fossil hunter's paradise. Matt Baker learns there are other treasures to be hand on the coast; inside Beer Caves some of our rarest bats are roosting. The network of caverns provide the perfect habitat for no less than nine of the eighteen species of bat found in the UK. Matt finds out why conservationists are replicating this habitat in a new bat cave being built outside on a reserve. Ellie Harrison is also on the hunt for rare species too; a South Devon cow, known locally as the 'orange elephant', that was once a common feature in the Devonian countryside. Ellie meets a farmer on a mission to bring back the orange elephant as a milking cow. Elsewhere, Tom is investigating the impact one of the wettest years on record has had on farmers and wildlife.

13:45................... Bargain Hunt 14:30.................. F1: Grand Prix 16:30 ...........................Escape to the Country 17:30 ...............Songs of Praise Palm Sunday from Canterbury. Archbishop Justin Welby talks to Bill Turnbull about what the events of Holy Week mean to him and Emilia Fox reads from the Gospel accounts of Christ's Passion; with hymns from the congregation in Canterbury Cathedral, plus music from the Cathedral Choristers and Lexie Stobie.

12:00 ............................Athletics 14:05 .... EastEnders Omnibus 16:00 .............................. Rowing 17:00 ..................Secrets of Our Living Planet Global nature series with Chris Packham, showcasing the ecosystems that make life on Earth possible. Using beautifully shot scenes from all over the world, Chris reveals the hidden wonder of the creatures that we share the planet with, discovering previously unknown relationships, like why a tiger needs a crab; or why a gecko needs a giraffe. Each week Chris visits one of the Earth's most vital and spectacular habitats and dissects it, to reveal the secrets of how our living planet works. In this episode, Chris weaves a spellbinding account of how the very special conditions that exist in the rainforest have allowed vast colourful communities of animals and plants to evolve. And he reveals one particularly extraordinary web of life centred on a tree, the Brazil nut tree. It is one of the mightiest trees in the Amazon but it can only survive thanks to a little rodent called agouti, an orchid and a very unusual bee.

07:10 .......................... Canimals 07:25 ........................Bookaboo 07:40 ...................... Matt Hatter Chronicles 08:05 ............... Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 08:15............... Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil 08:30 .................Almost Naked Animals 08:45 .................Almost Naked Animals 09:00 ................ The Aquabats! Super Show! 09:25 ..........................ITV News 09:30 ...................... The Jeremy Kyle Show US 10:25 ..............Carry on Follow That Camel 12:15 ........Carry on Camping 13:55 ...........................ITV News and Weather 14:05 ......................Doc Martin

18:00 ....................... Flog It! 19:00.........Dragons' Den

06:45 ..........................Dino Dan

CHO ICE

20:00 ................... Top Gear 21:00......Toughest Place W C to be a... CHOICE

22:00 ......... Mock the Week Looks Back At... 18:05 ..................Deadly 60 Entertainment Featuring classic archive materion a Mission al from past Mock the Weeks on a 18:35 ................. BBC News single subject. This time the topic is entertainment with contribu19:00 ............... Countryfile tions from Frankie Boyle, Russell 20:00 ....................Antiques Howard, Micky Flanagan, David Roadshow Mitchell, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Jack Whitehall and Michael 21:00..................Our Girl CW McIntyre. CHO ICE 22:30 ................. BBC News 22:30 ................... It's Kevin 22:55 .............Late Kick Off 23:00 ......... Adventureland 23:25 .......... The Great Raid

Martin and Louisa go out on their first date and she seizes the opportunity for a romantic kiss, but the clumsy doctor manages to ruin the moment. Louisa's friend's condition takes a turn for the worse when she has an allergic reaction to morphine, and Martin has to act quickly to save her life. Louisa is full of admiration for him, but he has another surprise in store. Al is increasingly worried about his girlfriend's gambling addiction.

15:05..... Food Glorious Food 16:05............ Agatha Christie's Marple 18:05 ..............You've Been Framed! 18:35 .... ITV News London 19:00 .... Coronation Street 20:00............Foyle's War

CHO ICE

22:00 ............ Perspectives 23:00 ................... ITV News 23:15 ..... Rugby Highlights

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

nday Sunday Sunday 24 March 06:15 ....................... The Hoobs

06:00....................Children's TV

06:00 .............Sporting Heroes

06:00 ........ The Hour of Power

06:00........Nothing to Declare

06:40 ....................... The Hoobs

08:30..........Angelina Ballerina

07:00 .......................The Middle

06:30........Nothing to Declare

07:10 ................ Will and Grace

08:45...................... Rupert Bear

07:30 .......................The Middle

07:00................................. Maury

07:35 ............Everybody Loves Raymond

09:00................Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom

- Johnny Nelson Interviews Tim Witherspoon. Former WBO cruiserweight champion Johnny Nelson interviews fellow boxer and two-time world heavyweight champion Tim Witherspoon.

08:00 .......................The Middle

08:00.............. Drop Dead Diva

08:30 .......................The Middle

09:00.............Ghost Whisperer

08:30 ................................Frasier

09:15..............Toby's Travelling Circus

07:00 ................................Cricket

09:00 .......................The Middle

10:00........................... Lion Man

08:00............................. Football

09:30.... Roary the Racing Car

09:30 .......................The Middle

11:00...................Brave: Special

09:30 .......................The Sunday Supplement

10:00.............. World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars

11:30....................... The Biggest Loser USA

11:00 ............Goals on Sunday

11:00 ............WWE Experience

13:00.......................Fat Families

12:00......Stargate Continuum

14:00...........................Sing Date

13:50 .......................... Futurama

14:30...........................Sing Date

14:00 .................. John Bishop's Only Joking

15:00.................Inside Gatwick

09:00 ................................Frasier 09:30 ...............Sunday Brunch 12:10 ...............................The Big Bang Theory

09:45........................ Jelly Jamm 10:00................ Power Rangers: Samurai

12:40............................... The Big Bang Theory

10:35...................... Batman: The Brave and the Bold

13:10 ................. The Simpsons

11:00...........Inside Hollywood

Chris Kamara and Ben Shephard present a round-up of the latest football news and goals, with studio guests on hand to analyse all the main talking points.

12:00 ................................Cricket

16:00.................Inside Gatwick

13:40.................. The Simpsons

11:10......................Monkey Life

14:10..... Undercover Boss US

11:40............ Cowboy Builders

13:00 .......................The Sunday Supplement

15:00................... Raising Hope

17:00......................Customs UK

15:10 ........ Clash of the Titans

12:40............... World's Scariest Near Misses

16:00 .......................... Futurama

17:30......................Customs UK

14:30............ Goals on Sunday

17:00 ..................The Simpsons

18:00 ... Nothing to Declare

15:30 ............................. Football

17:30 ..................The Simpsons

18:30 ... Nothing to Declare

19:00 .......... Ashley Banjo's Secret Street Crew

19:00 ... Nothing to Declare

17:30 ....................... Time Team

13:40.................Legally Blonde

19:55 ..... Miss Congeniality

League 1 - Tranmere Rovers v Stevenage. Tranmere Rovers face Stevenage at Prenton Park in this npower League One clash. The teams played out a 1-1 draw when they crossed paths earlier in the season.

22:00 ..... Person of Interest

18:00 ........... Rugby League

22:00 .....NCIS: Los Angeles

21:00 ......................The Spa

20:30 .................... Football

23:00 ............... Moone Boy

21:30 ... Nothing to Declare

23:15 ......................Kill List

22:55 ............. The Exorcism of Emily Rose

21:00 .......................Cricket

23:30 .. Border Invasion USA

22:00 .........................Se7en

19:00 ........The Baby Bomb

06:00 ...............................Cricket

06:00 .......... The Biggest Loser

India v Australia 4th Test (Day 3). Day three of the fourth test between India and Australia from Feroz Shah Kotla.

07:05.................. Radical Highs 07:20 .............Storage Hunters 08:10............................ Top Gear 10:00 ......................Man v Food 11:00 ........ Total Wipeout USA 12:00 ............................Top Gear 13:00......................................... QI 13:40......................... Have I Got News for You 14:20 .......................Never Mind the Buzzcocks 15:00 ......................Man v Food 16:00 ............................Top Gear 17:00 ......................................... QI 17:40......................... Have I Got News for You 18:20 ............... Never Mind the Buzzcocks 19:00 ...............Man v Food 20:00 ......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00.............................. Seinfeld

Series following the real-life dramas of three young couples and a single mum as their worlds are turned upside down when they take on the most daunting challenge of their life - becoming parents. Four young families, who have never met, come together to live in the same south London block of flats for ten weeks, but will it make the enormous challenge of being a young parent any easier? Single mum Esther has a home birth and the couples are all beginning to feel the pressures of parenthood.

06:30.............................. Seinfeld

06:50....Emmerdale Omnibus

07:00..........................Petrol Age

09:30 .......... Coronation Street Omnibus

18:30 ....... Channel 4 News 18:55 ..............4thought.tv 19:00 ........Deal or No Deal 20:00 ................. The Secret Millions 21:00 ............................Red

20:00 .......... Pop's Greatest Dance Crazes 20:10 ........................ War of the Worlds 22:00 ...............In the Flesh 23:00 ............ Bluestone 42 23:30 ............... Family Guy 23:55 ............... Family Guy

15:30...Getting Even with Dad 17:35 .......5 News Weekend 17:40 .............. The Goonies

11:30.......................NBA Action 12:00 .......................... European Tour Golf Maybank Malaysian Open (Day 4). Day four of the Maybank Malaysian Open from the Kuala Lumpur Golf and Country Club.

14:00 ...............................Cricket 21:30 ...................... Cricket 22:30 ............ Super Rugby 23:00 ...........................NBA Chicago Bulls @ Minnesota Timberwolves. Houston Rockets host San Antonio Spurs at the Toyota Center in this NBA clash. The Spurs claimed the spoils when the teams last met, running out 122-116 winners.

22nd March - 28th March 2013

20:00 ........................... Glee

19:30 ... Nothing to Declare

21:00 ............Hawaii Five-0

20:00 ................... Stitch Me, Lift Me, Tuck Me

08:00...........................Fish Town 09:00........................... Inside the Actors Studio

11:05............... Top Dog Model

10:00........................... Inside the Actors Studio

13:05 ......................Britain's Got More Talent

11:00..........................................ER 13:00..........................Petrol Age

14:05 .................. Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway

14:00.......................Blue Bloods

15:20 ....You've Been Framed!

16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

15:50 .................The Borrowers

17:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

17:45 ............... Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

12:00..........................................ER

18:00 .................... Star Trek: Enterprise 19:00 ........................ Smash

12:05....... Super Tiny Animals

19:40 ....Back to the Future

20:00 ............... Blue Bloods

22:00 ............. The Only Way is Essex

21:00 ........... Six Feet Under

22:50 ........... Big Rich Texas

23:30 ............................Girls

23:50 ..........Celebrity Juice

W C C H O IC E Dragons Den BBC2, 19:00

Eight more intrepid entrepreneurs brave the Den hoping to gain a major cash boost for their business idea. A horror story writer attempts to scare the Dragons into investing, but doesn't quite get the reaction he expects; in fact it is a reaction never before seen in the Den. There is a blast from the past as two Mancunian sisters who first walked up those infamous stairs back in 2005, are now asking for investment in their new gluten-free oriental dipping sauce range, but will it be a case of better luck second time around? And with the kids all back at school, two friends hope now is the right time for investment in their innovative children's backpack designs. Also pitching to the multimillionaire investors is a Northern Irish inventor with his unique range of wearable luggage, and love is in the air when two Dragons tie the knot using a rather unusual vending machine.

Foyle's War ITV1, 20:00

New three-part series set in the Cold War era. As Foyle returns from a stay in the USA, MI5 agents persuade him to go to their London HQ immediately. Foyle is told that a Soviet spy network called the Eternity Ring is at large in the capital and could involve the distinguished nuclear physicist Professor Michael Fraser.

Page 27

TV Guide

www.canarianweekly.com

Monday Monday Mo 06:00........................... Breakfast

06:00 ..............................Preview

06:00 .......................... Daybreak

09:15 ....................Heir Hunters

06:10 .................. Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 .............................Lorraine

07:10.................... Real Rescues

09:25 ....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00...................... You've Been Scammed

07:55..... Caught Red Handed

10:30 ................... This Morning

08:25 .................... Heir Hunters

11:25 ...........................ITV News

11:30 ................... Real Rescues

09:10........ Great British Menu

11:30 ................... This Morning

12:15 ...................Bargain Hunt

09:40 ....................... Countryfile

12:30 ................. Loose Women

13:00 .......... BBC News at One

10:35 .................................... Click

13:30 ........ BBC London News

11:00 ......................... BBC News

13:30........................... ITV News and Weather

13:45 ............................. Doctors

11:30 .............BBC World News

14:15........................... Escape to the Country

12:00 ............The Daily Politics

10:00 .................. Homes Under the Hammer

13:00 ......................Animal Park

15:00............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show

13:30 ...........The Weakest Link

16:00................... Ade in Britain

14:15 .................................. Coast

17:00 .........................The Chase

14:25 ..................... Mastermind

18:00 ..... ITV News London

14:55 ............................. How We Won the War

18:30 ................... ITV News and Weather

19:00 ..........The One Show

15:25 ............Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets

19:00 ............... Emmerdale

19:30 .................Bang Goes the Theory

15:55............ Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets

15:00 .................. Beat the Pack 15:45 ............ Countryside 999 16:30 ............................... Flog It! 17:15 ........................... Pointless 18:00 ....... BBC News at Six 18:30 ... BBC London News

The fourth of eight episodes presenting the science behind the headlines, and looking at the issues that have a real impact on all our lives. In this programme the team look at some of things threatening the safety of your family on a daily basis. Liz finds out why old and very young pedestrians may never be safe crossing the road; on the anniversary of Fabrice Muamba's miraculous survival following a heart attack playing for Bolton Wanderers, Maggie asks how many young people could be carrying a similar time-bomb, and how science can help them; Maggie also investigates a revolutionary new burns dressing that could drastically reduce the risk of scarring; and Jem turns crash-test dummy as he asks why European legislation is preparing to make rear-facing seats compulsory for more children.

20:00 ............... EastEnders 20:30..............Panorama

CHO ICE

21:00 ........ Motorway Cops 22:00 ...... BBC News at Ten 22:25 ... BBC London News 22:35 ............. The Lock Up 23:15 ................. BBC News: The Editors 23:45 ............... The Graham Norton Show

Page 28

14:00....................... Dickinson's Real Deal

16:25 ..............The Trials of Life 17:15 ..... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..................Eggheads 18:30 ........... Country Show Cook Off Cookery series. Michelin-starred chef Theo Randall and cook Rachel Allen embark on a culinary crusade, travelling from the West of Scotland to Shropshire. Today, they're on the Isle of Bute, to compete in the Bute Agricultural Society's summer show, and the challenge is to make a quiche. The pair meet oyster farmer Andre Hughes of Loch Fyne oysters and get the chance to sample some of his world-renowned produce.

19:00 ............. Great British Menu 20:00 .................. University Challenge 20:30 ......Paul Hollywood's Bread 21:00.......Boris Johnson: CW The Irresistible CHOICE Rise

19:30 .... Coronation Street 20:00 .........James Nesbitt's Ireland James Nesbitt presents an eight-part guided tour of Ireland. This week, James takes a look at the people who have got the work/life balance just right. He experiences life on the ocean wave in County Clare with John McCarthy, one of Ireland's top surfers, and visits a relaxed family smokery in beautiful Connemara. James also samples the good life with the Green family at their hotel in County Cork, where he tries a spot of salmon fishing.

20:30 ..... Coronation Street 21:00 ..............Broadchurch Eight-part crime thriller set in the Dorset seaside resort of Broadchurch during the holiday season. DI Alec Hardy and DS Ellie Miller are investigating the murder of 11-year-old Danny Latimer, but the aftershocks of the crime continue to ripple through the town as friends and neighbours' lives come under scrutiny. Distraught by the lack of national press coverage, Beth and Mark Latimer decide to take matters into their own hands to get news of Danny's murder into the newspapers.

22:00 ............... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

22:00 ............... ITV News at Ten and Weather

22:30 ................ Newsnight

22:35 ..The Unforgettable...

23:20 ......... Toughest Place to be a...

23:35 ..........................Monk

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

onday Monday Monday 25 March 06:10........................ The Hoobs 07:05 ........... According to Jim 07:30 ............Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30................................ Frasier CW 10:00...Undercover Boss USA CHO ICE 11:00 .................... Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:05...... Come Dine with Me 12:35.............What's Cooking? 13:45...............Superscrimpers' Challenge 14:45...................... Countdown 15:30................... The Common Denominator 16:00...............Deal or No Deal 17:00...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55 ........Easter Eggs Live 20:00 ................ Dispatches 20:30 ........ Superscrimpers: Waste Not, Want Not 21:00 .Embarrassing Bodies 22:00 ...... Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA 23:10 ................... Alan Carr: Chatty Man

19:00 .............. Great Movie Mistakes 2: The Sequel Robert Webb has uncovered hundreds of clangers and gaffes in Hollywood's biggest blockbusters, casting his eye over new movie releases as well as respected cinema classics, and pointing out the howlers directors didn't want you to notice. Featuring continuity errors, historical inaccuracies, crew appearing on camera, booms dropping into shot and Oscar winners messing things up. Films include Up in the Air, St Trinian's and Memento.

19:15 ................... Top Gear 20:00 ................... Don't Tell the Bride 21:00 ....... Don't Just Stand There...I'm Having Your Baby! 22:00 .. Snog, Marry, Avoid? 22:30 .................EastEnders 23:00 ................ In the Flesh

06:00....................Children's TV 08:35........................... Roary the Racing Car 08:50.......Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00....................... Tickety Toc 09:15 .............The Wright Stuff 11:10................................. Trisha 12:00 ................. Looney Tunes 12:05 ........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ........................Dangerous Drivers' School 13:15 ............Home and Away 13:45 ..................... Neighbours 14:15 ................................... NCIS 15:15 ....... The Cradle Will Fall 17:00 ......................5 News at 5 17:30 .............. Neighbours 18:00 .......Home and Away 18:30 ...................... 5 News 19:00 ..... The Gadget Show 20:00 ........................World's Fastest Train

06:00 ...................Super League Fulltime 07:00 ...............................Cricket 08:00 .............................Football League 1 - Sheffield United v Brentford. Sheffield United take on Brentford at Bramall Lane in this npower League One clash. The Blades will be looking to avenge the 2-0 loss they suffered earlier in the season.

09:00 .................... Rugby Super League 10:30............................. Football League 1 - Tranmere Rovers v Stevenage. Tranmere Rovers face Stevenage at Prenton Park in this npower League One clash. The teams played out a 1-1 draw when they crossed paths earlier in the season.

11:00 .............................Football 12:00 ...............................Cricket 13:00 .................................... NBA San Antonio Spurs @ Houston Rockets. Houston Rockets host San Antonio Spurs at the Toyota Center in this NBA clash.The Spurs claimed the spoils when the teams last met, running out 122-116 winners.

21:00 ..... Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge

15:00 ...............................Cricket

22:00 ...............Road House

16:00........ Tavistock Cup Golf 21:00 ...................... Cricket

06:00 ...................Got to Dance 06:30 ...................Got to Dance 07:00 ...................Got to Dance 07:30 ...................Got to Dance 08:00 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter 08:30 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter 09:00........................... Lie to Me 10:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00 ..........NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ...........................Lie to Me 15:00 ..................Stargate SG-1 16:00 ..................Stargate SG-1 17:00 ...................... The Middle 17:25 ..............Toy Story Toons 17:35 ...................... The Middle 18:00 ............John Bishop's Only Joking 18:30 ...........The Simpsons 20:00 ........................Arrow 21:00 ...............A League of Their Own 22:00 ...........Spartacus: War of the Damned 23:15 ................. Road Wars

06:00........Nothing to Declare

06:00........................Emmerdale 06:25...........Coronation Street 07:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show US 08:10.....You've Been Framed! 08:40........................Judge Judy 09:35........Winners and Losers 10:35.....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:35................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30........................Emmerdale 13:00...........Coronation Street 14:00..The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10.....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 17:05................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 .................The Jeremy Kyle Show US 19:00 ..You've Been Framed! 20:00 ......... Animal Practice 20:25 .........Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

06:00 ...............................Cricket

07:10................... Dragons' Den

06:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise

India v Australia 4th Test (Day 4). Day four of the fourth test between India and Australia from Feroz Shah Kotla.

08:10.......................... Fifth Gear

07:00 .........................................ER

08:35.......................... Fifth Gear

08:00 ......................Blue Bloods

09:00 ............................Top Gear

09:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise

10:00 ............................Top Gear

10:00......................................... ER

11:00.................. Dragons' Den

11:00 ......................Blue Bloods

12:00 ..........................Fifth Gear

12:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise

13:00 ............................Top Gear

13:00 .................................House

15:00 ...............Ray Mears Goes Walkabout

14:00 .................................House

16:00 ..........................Fifth Gear 17:00 ............................Top Gear

16:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise

18:00 ................... Top Gear

17:00 .........................................ER

19:00 ........ Ray Mears Goes Walkabout

18:00 .........................House

20:00 ...............Man v Food

20:00 .....................Seinfeld

21:00 .......... Not Going Out

20:30 .....................Seinfeld

22:20 ..... Gavin and Stacey 23:00 .........Mock the Week

21:00 .......... Team America: World Police

23:40 ............. Him and Her

22:50 ......Game of Thrones

11:30 .................. Super League Fulltime 12:30 .............Football League

13:00 ......................Premiership Rugby Union Aviva Premiership Round 18 - London Wasps v Northampton Saints. London Wasps face Northampton Saints at Adams Park in the Aviva Premiership. The Saints secured their fifth successive win when the teams met at Franklin's Gardens earlier in the campaign.

14:00 ........................Tennis-ATP Masters 1000 15:00........................ Tennis-ATP Masters 1000

22nd March - 28th March 2013

15:00 ......................Blue Bloods

19:00 ........................House

06:30........Nothing to Declare 07:00................................. Maury 09:00....................... The Biggest Loser USA 10:00................Criminal Minds 11:00................Criminal Minds 12:00..............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 13:00..............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................Criminal Minds 16:00................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00......................Customs UK 17:30......................Customs UK 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 18:30 ... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ................The Biggest Loser USA 21:00 ......... Criminal Minds 22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 ......................The Spa 23:30 .........................Bones

W C C H O IC E Panorama BBC1, 20:30

The Great Savings Wipe Out. Panorama investigates a series of financial scandals which have put at risk the life savings of tens of thousands of people. A twice-bankrupt, former double glazing salesman from Essex has collected an estimated quarter of a billion pounds from investors, which is now at risk. In one of Britain's biggest ever pension scandals, he promised to build luxury rental homes in the Caribbean, some on the island of St Vincent, where the film Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed. Wimbledon tennis champion Pat Cash and golfing legend Gary Player helped promote the property scheme. However, reporter Paul Kenyon finds most of the planned properties have yet to be built and there are disputes over planning permission and land ownership.

Boris Johnson: The Irresistible Rise ITV1, 21:00

Boris Johnson is the biggest star in British politics. Nobody connects to the public like Boris, some even see him as a future Prime Minister. So what really makes him tick and is he a serious contender for the top job? With unprecedented access to Johnson himself, candid interviews and previously unseen archive, Michael Cockerell unlocks the secrets of the real Boris Johnson.

Page 29

TV Guide

www.canarianweekly.com

W C C H O IC E 06:00 ...........................Breakfast

06:00.............................. Preview

06:00 .......................... Daybreak

09:15 ....................Heir Hunters

06:05 .................. Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 .............................Lorraine

10:00................... Homes Under the Hammer

07:50 ......................You've Been Scammed

10:30 ................... This Morning

11:30 ................... Real Rescues

08:20 .................... Heir Hunters

11:30................... This Morning

12:15....................Bargain Hunt

09:05........ Great British Menu

12:30.................. Loose Women

13:00 .......... BBC News at One

09:35......... Kangaroo Dundee

13:30 ........ BBC London News

10:35........................... HARDtalk

13:45 ............................. Doctors

11:00 ......................... BBC News

14:15 ...........................Escape to the Country

11:30............. BBC World News

15:00 .................. Beat the Pack

13:00 ......................Animal Park

15:45 ............ Countryside 999 16:30 ............................... Flog It!

13:30 ..........................The Super League Show

17:15 ........................... Pointless

14:15.................................. Coast

18:00 ....... BBC News at Six

14:25..................... Mastermind

18:30 .... BBC London News

14:55 ............................. How We Won the War

19:30 ............... EastEnders

BBC2, 21.00 Every day more than one and a half million of us are treated by the NHS in England alone. It’s the world’s largest free healthcare system and Britain’s biggest institution. It deals with us from when we are a mere blue line on a pregnancy test until the moment we’re a flat line on a heart monitor. Whether we feel it saves us or fails us, the NHS collides with every walk of life in Britain. And now it’s reached perhaps the most critical moment in its 64-year history. Factors such as a rise in obesity and an ageing population mean that the demands we place upon it are ever growing. But the money to pay for it isn’t. So what would it make us think if were to see what the NHS does on a single day? On Thursday 18 October 2012, 100 camera crews were dispatched across the UK to film every corner of the NHS from cancer units to bariatric wards, air ambulances to neuro-surgery, following everyone from Jeremy Hunt to a remote island GP. The resulting eight-part series shows the extraordinary breadth of demands that are placed on this vast system on one single day. It’s 7.16am at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham. Liz, the Matron in charge of the Clinical Decision Unit (CDU), begins her day dealing with a self-discharged patient still in his gown walking the streets. Liz and her team in CDU must process every patient that walks through its doors: from a man with chest pains, to a heroin user who has been throwing up blood, to elderly patients with multiple aliments, however long it takes or however much it costs. But standing on the frontline of an increasingly pressed service, Liz believes that it’s impossible for the NHS to pick up everything. In Chichester, Lynn prepares for a life-changing gastric band operation, while contending with the comments of those that feel the NHS shouldn’t foot the bill. The cost of treating obesity is £5.1 billion a year, but how much treatment you get can depend on where you live, so Lynn’s operation is not so readily available to Norma, 150 miles away in the West Midlands. During Lynn’s surgery, doctors make an unexpected discovery and Lynn is faced with the prospect of a bigger battle ahead. In Leeds, 64-year-old Graham is rushed into A&E with a stroke. A multidisciplinary team of nurses, radiologists and anaesthetists prepare for an experimental treatment that could save his speech. Back in Birmingham’s CDU, 90 year-old Jeanette must decide whether to reject the invasive cancer surgery that could extend her life, and Liz ends her shift looking for a regular who has gone walkabout. Covering life, death and everything in between, Keeping Britain Alive: The NHS In A Day captures the vivid patchwork of human experience – the grief, heroism, tragedy, relief, joy, bitterness, hilarity, frustration, compassion, tedium and selflessness – that are evident across the NHS every single day.

Page 30

09:25....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00 ......................You've Been Scammed

19:00 ..........The One Show

Keeping Britain Alive: The NHS In A Day

07:05.................... Real Rescues

Liam finds himself in an uncomfortable position when the gang want him to prove himself to them, but will he go through with it? Bianca heads back to the estate to try and find Liam; whilst there she sparks an unlikely friendship with Ava, who reluctantly helps her. Sharon tries to make a truce with Tanya, but will she accept Sharon's apology?

20:00 .................Holby City 21:00 .......... The Syndicate Drama series. After his final course of IVF on the NHS is unsuccessful, lovable Tom is now able to afford the best private fertility care for him and his partner Natalie. He also has the money to find his estranged father and confront him for walking out on his mother when he was 10 years old. But sometimes the truth is a hard pill to swallow, and no amount of money can stop family and friends letting you down. Meanwhile, things are not quite right at Mandy's house and she is acting very strangely.

22:00 ...... BBC News at Ten 22:25 ... BBC London News

11:25........................... ITV News

12:00............ The Daily Politics

Jules Hudson seeks out the World War II stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. He journeys through the Midlands to hear about the emotional bonds formed between American paratroopers and the people of Nottingham; travels the canals to explore how a small band of women kept essential supplies flowing during the war; and discovers how the factories of Birmingham provided just about everything we needed in our fight against Nazi Germany.

15:25 ............Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets 15:55.......Raymond Blanc's CW Kitchen Secrets CHOICE 16:25 ..............The Trials of Life 17:15 ..... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .................. Eggheads

13:30 ........................... ITV News and Weather 14:00 ....................... Dickinson's Real Deal 15:00 ............................ The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ...................Ade in Britain 17:00 .........................The Chase 18:00 ..... ITV News London 18:30 .................... ITV News and Weather 19:00 ............... Emmerdale 19:30 ........ World Cup 2014 Qualifier Montenegro v England. Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage of the World Cup qualifier between Montenegro and England at the City Stadium in Podgorica. It is a crucial night for Roy Hodgson and his team, as Montenegro are vying with England for top spot in the group and automatic qualification for Brazil. With studio guests Roy Keane and former England defenders Gareth Southgate and Lee Dixon. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend

18:30 ........... Country Show Cook Off

22:10 ............... ITV News at Ten and Weather

19:00 .............. Great British Menu

22:50 ....... World Cup 2014: Qualifier Highlights

20:00 ...... The Great British Bake Off Easter Masterclass

23:50 .......... Piers Morgan's Life Stories

22:35 ....................The Matt Lucas Awards

21:00.....Keeping Britain CW Alive: The CHOICE NHS in a Day

23:05 ...................... Cuckoo

22:00 ............. Heading Out

23:35 ............... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

22:30 ................ Newsnight 23:20 ..................... Horizon

James Corden, the writer and star of Gavin and Stacey, talks to Piers Morgan about his meteoric rise to fame as one of Britain's brightest young talents and how his over-inflated ego sent him into meltdown. Corden candidly reveals his journey from lazy school kid to TV's star-struck golden boy who took a bath with David Beckham.

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

Tuesday

TV Guide

Tuesday

06:10 ....................... The Hoobs 07:05 ........... According to Jim 07:30 ............Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30................................ Frasier 10:00...Undercover Boss USA 11:00.................... Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00..............Channel 4 News 12:05...... Come Dine with Me 12:35.............What's Cooking? 13:45...............Superscrimpers' Challenge 14:45...................... Countdown 15:30 .................. The Common Denominator 16:00...............Deal or No Deal 17:00...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 ................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:55 ........Easter Eggs Live 20:00 ............. Bedtime Live 21:00 ............... 16 Kids and Counting 22:00 ................. Shameless 23:05 ................ Gogglebox

06:00 ...................Children's TV

March

06:00 .....................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

06:00 ................... Got to Dance

06:00 .......Nothing to Declare

09:00....................... Tickety Toc

06:30 ................... Got to Dance

06:30 .......Nothing to Declare

09:15 .............The Wright Stuff

07:00 ................................Cricket

07:00................... Got to Dance

07:00 ................................ Maury

11:10 ................................. Trisha

08:00 ........................Netbusters

07:30................... Got to Dance

09:00...................... The Biggest Loser USA

12:00 ................. Looney Tunes 12:05........ 5 News Lunchtime 12:15........................ Dangerous Drivers' School

Catch up with the weekend's football news with all the goals from the npower Championship, npower League One and npower League Two.

08:00 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter 08:30 ............................. Dog the Bounty Hunter

10:00 ...............Criminal Minds 11:00............... Criminal Minds 12:00............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:15 ............Home and Away

08:30..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

13:45 ..................... Neighbours

09:30............................... Cricket

10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

14:15 ................................... NCIS

10:30.........................Netbusters

11:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

13:00 .............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

15:10 ................. Looney Tunes

11:00......................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

14:00 .......................... Futurama

14:00 ...............Criminal Minds

15:20 .......Desolation Canyon

14:30 .......................... Futurama

15:00 ...............Criminal Minds

17:00 ......................5 News at 5

12:00 ................................Cricket

15:00 .................. Stargate SG-1

16:00.. RSPCA Animal Rescue

17:30..................... Neighbours

13:00........................ Netbusters

16:00 .................. Stargate SG-1

16:30.. RSPCA Animal Rescue

18:00 .......Home and Away

13:30 .....................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

17:00 .......................The Middle

17:00 .....................Customs UK

17:25 .............. Toy Story Toons

17:30 .....................Customs UK

14:30 .........Tavistock Cup Golf

17:35 .......................The Middle

18:00 ... Nothing to Declare

19:30 .................... Football

18:00 ............John Bishop's Only Joking

19:00 ................ The Best of Nothing to Declare

18:30 ........... The Simpsons

19:30 ........................Bones

20:00 ...............A League of Their Own

20:30 ..................Sing Date

21:00 ................Night Cops

22:00 ............. Chicago Fire

18:30 ...................... 5 News 19:00 ......Cowboy Builders 20:00 ..... Whale Adventure with Nigel Marven

09:00 ........................... Lie to Me

22:55 ........................Dallas

2014 World Cup Qualifier - Wales v Croatia. Wales welcome Croatia to the Liberty Stadium for this 2014 FIFA World Cup qualifier. Croatia claimed a comfortable 2-0 victory when the teams contested the reverse fixture in October.

23:55 ................ CSI: Miami

22:00 .......................Cricket

22:00 ...... Escape From L.A.

23:00 ........................Bones

19:00 .......... Total Wipeout

06:00 ...............................Cricket

07:10 .................. Dragons' Den

20:00 ....... Don't Just Stand There...I'm Having Your Baby!

11:30 ..................... Elite League Speedway Preview

08:10 ..........................Fifth Gear

06:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise

08:35.......................... Fifth Gear

07:00 .........................................ER

12:00 ................. PGA Tour Golf

08:00 ......................Blue Bloods

21:00 ................... A Special Kind of Mum

09:00............................ Top Gear

13:00............Shell's Wonderful World of Golf

11:00.................. Dragons' Den

09:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise

12:00...................... Man v Food

10:00 .........................................ER

14:30 ..................... Elite League Speedway Preview

13:00 ............................Top Gear

11:00.......................Blue Bloods 12:00...... Star Trek: Enterprise

15:00............................... Cricket

15:00............... Ray Mears Goes Walkabout

16:00.................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits

16:00...................... Man v Food

14:00 .................................House

17:00............................ Top Gear

15:00 ......................Blue Bloods

17:30 ...............................Cricket

19:00 ......... Ray Mears Goes Walkabout

16:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise

18:30 ...................... Cricket

20:00 .......Storage Hunters

17:00 .........................................ER

19:30 .................... Football

21:00 .......................... QI XL

18:00 ........................House

22:00 ........... Football Gold

22:00 .................. Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask

19:00 ........................House

06:00........................Emmerdale 06:25.......... Coronation Street 07:25 ....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show US 08:10.....You've Been Framed! 08:40 .......................Judge Judy 09:35 .......Winners and Losers 10:35 ............................. The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:35 ................ The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30...................... Emmerdale 13:00 ..........Coronation Street 14:00..The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 17:05................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 ........The Jeremy Kyle Show US 19:00 ..You've Been Framed! 20:00 .........Love in the Wild 21:00 ..The Vampire Diaries 22:00 ....... 666 Park Avenue

What is life like if you are young, disabled and a mum? This film follows the trials and tribulations of two women who struggle to overcome their physical challenges and prejudices they face on a daily basis. At the age of 25, Trish is determined to be a 'super-mum' to prove the critics wrong. She was born with a condition that means she is confined to a wheelchair and cannot really use her arms or legs - as a consequence she has to perform everyday tasks with her mouth.

22:00 ............ Bluestone 42 22:30 ................ EastEnders

21:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22:00 ...................... CSI: NY

17:00 .......................Netbusters

22:15 ........... Football Gold

13:00 .................................House

20:00 ... Friday Night Lights

22:30 ............. World Series of Poker Europe

22:40 .........Mock the Week

21:00 ........................ Vegas

23:00 ............... Family Guy

23:15 ...............................QI

22:00 ...........The Following

23:50 .......... American Dad!

23:30 ............................NFL

23:55 ..........................QI XL

23:00 ................ True Blood

22nd March - 28th March 2013

21:00 ...............Elementary

W C C H O IC E Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets BBC2, 15:55

Celebrated chef Raymond Blanc invites the cameras into his kitchen to share his treasured cooking secrets. Filmed in the lively surroundings of his working Oxfordshire kitchen, the series features a range of inspirational and achievable recipes for cooks of all abilities. In this episode, Raymond draws upon memories of his travels through Asia to create dishes full of fragrant spice and fiery heat. To kick off, a mouthwateringly fresh green papaya salad with the sweet crunch of pomegranate and a tangy dressing of chilli and lime. The inspiration for Raymond's next dish comes from no further than his own kitchen. Indian vegetable curry infused with a complex blend of masala spices is one of his much-loved family recipes. Next tender, slow-cooked pork belly marinated in a Chinese-style blend of aromatic spices with a crisp, crunchy crac ling, drenched in an intense meaty broth.

Hollyoaks Channel 4, 18:30

The McQueens take the law into their own hands, but will their efforts be in vain? A struggling Nancy resorts to desperate measures, while Ste regrets his decision, but wonders how he will get out of this mess.

Page 31

TV Guide

W C C H O IC E

www.canarianweekly.com

Wednesday Wednesday 06:00 ...........................Breakfast 09:15 ....................Heir Hunters

Sports Life Stories: Barry McGuigan ITV1, 22.35 Tonightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s episode focuses on the legendary Clones Cyclone Barry McGuigan, who talks candidly about the glory and tragedy of his journey to becoming Champion of the World, and the history he made in uniting Ireland during the worst days of the Troubles.

10:00 .................. Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ......................You've Been Scammed

06:00.......................... Daybreak

07:00 ....................Real Rescues

09:25 ....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:45 ......................You've Been Scammed

08:30 .............................Lorraine

10:30 ................... This Morning

08:15 .................... Heir Hunters

11:25........................... ITV News

11:30 ................... Real Rescues

09:00 ........ Great British Menu

11:30 ................... This Morning

12:15................... Bargain Hunt

09:30 ...............Food and Drink

12:30.................. Loose Women

13:00 .......... BBC News at One 13:30 ........ BBC London News

10:00 ..................... Great British Railway Journeys

13:30 ........................... ITV News and Weather

13:45............................. Doctors

10:30 ............................See Hear

14:15........................... Escape to the Country

11:00......................... BBC News

14:00 ....................... Dickinson's Real Deal

15:00 .................. Beat the Pack

12:00.......... Bringing Up Baby

15:00............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show

15:45 ............ Countryside 999

13:40 ...........The Weakest Link

16:00 ...................Ade in Britain

16:30 ............................... Flog It!

14:25 ..................... Mastermind

17:15 ........................... Pointless

14:55 ............................. How We Won the War

18:00 ....... BBC News at Six 18:30 ... BBC London News 19:00 ..........The One Show 20:00 ...............MasterChef Cookery competition with John Torode and Gregg Wallace. Five amateur chefs compete for a place in the MasterChef quarter-finals. First, they must cook an exceptional dish completely from scratch in just one hour in the invention test, then they must face the tricky palate test. This new challenge sees Chef John Torode demonstrate pappardelle with meatballs and tomato sauce, which the competitors must recreate without the recipe in just one hour - with only their sense of smell and their palates to guide them. Two contestants will be sent home after these two challenges, with the remaining three thrown into a busy lunchtime service at London's One-O-One restaurant to test their skills in a professional environment. Finally, they face the final test of the heat, cooking their own two brilliant courses to impress John and Gregg.

21:00 ............. Pompeii: The Mystery of the People Frozen in Time 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35 ..A Question of Sport 23:05 ...................... Are You Having a Laugh?

Page 32

06:00.................. Homes Under the Hammer

11:30 .............BBC World News

15:25 ............Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets

Adrian Edmondson travels to the West Midlands to discover how overseas cuisine has influenced our tastes in the Balti Triangle. He visits a pork scratching factory, learns how to make goat's cheese and has a spin in a handmade British sports car.

15:55............ Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets

17:00 .........................The Chase

16:25 ..............The Trials of Life 17:15 ..... Antiques Roadshow

18:30 .................... ITV News and Weather

18:00 ..................Eggheads

19:00 ............... Emmerdale

18:30 ........... Country Show Cook Off

19:30 .... Coronation Street

19:00 ...Great British Menu 20:00 ............ A Very British Wedding 21:00 ..........Terry Pratchett: Facing Extinction 22:00 .................... A Culture Show Special Danny Boyle: Man of Wonder. Oscar winning director Danny Boyle talks to Mark Kermode about his new film Trance, London 2012's afterglow and the highs and lows of an extraordinary filmmaking career. As an explosive visual stylist with an enduring punk attitude, Danny Boyle has reinvented British cinema several times over, proving we can do populist, anarchic, violent and disturbing as well as American cinema. From epochal moments like Trainspotting to low-budget horror 28 Days Later and the brutal romance of Slumdog Millionaire, Boyle inhabits a uniquely kinetic style that has a poetic and surreal side too.

22:30 ................. Newsnight 23:20 ......... Keeping Britain Alive: The NHS in a Day

18:00 ..... ITV News London

Tyrone braces himself to tell the truth behind Kirsty's lies. Karl seizes his chance to divert suspicions. Kirk looks out for a down in the dumps Chesney.

20:00 ........... Food Glorious Food The search for a home-cooked dish that will grace the shelves of Marks and Spencer and net its creator ÂŁ20,000 focuses on home cooks from Yorkshire and the North East. One of the nation's favourite dishes is curry and one contestant puts their own spin on a classic curry recipe. There is also an unusual take on the classic Yorkshire pudding, but a young postmaster's twist on the traditional trifle fails to impress judge Tom Parker-Bowles. Joining him today are food writer Andi Oliver, the WI's Anne Harrison and baker Stacie Stewart. Northern pride is at stake but only the best can win rosettes.

21:00 ................ Lightfields 22:00 ............... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35....Barry Mcguigan: CW Sports Life Stories CHOICE 23:35 ...... Safari Vet School

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

y Wednesday Wednesday 27 March 06:10 ...................Children's TV 10:00...Undercover Boss USA 11:00..................... Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 12:00..............Channel 4 News 12:05 ..... Come Dine with Me 12:35 ............What's Cooking? 13:45 ..............Superscrimpers' Challenge 14:45..................... Countdown 15:30 .................. The Common Denominator 16:00 ..............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ..... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ...........The Simpsons 18:30 ................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ....... Channel 4 News 19:55 ....... Easter Eggs Live 20:00..........Phil Spencer: CW Secret Agent CHOICE 21:00 ...................One Born Every Minute 22:00 .................The Mimic 22:35 ......... Anna and Katy 23:05 ....... 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:55 ............Random Acts

06:00....................Children's TV

19:00 ....... Don't Just Stand There...I'm Having Your Baby!

06:00 ..........Aerobics: Oz Style

20:00 .... Free Speech: Baby Britain Special 21:00 .............. Prison Dads Glen Parva in Leicester is Britain's biggest young offenders institution, housing up to 808 prisoners aged 18 to 21 years old. These young men are five times more likely to be fathers than others their age. With privileged access and intimate stories as these young men open up about their experiences, this moving film follows dads on the inside and their partners on the outside, charting the successes and failures of young parents coming to terms with bringing up their babies in extremely challenging circumstances.

09:15 .............The Wright Stuff 11:10 ................................. Trisha 12:00................. Looney Tunes 12:05 ........5 News Lunchtime

07:00 .................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 ......... Football's Greatest Managers

12:15 ....... Dangerous Drivers' School

09:30... International Football

13:15 ............Home and Away

10:30... International Football

13:45..................... Neighbours

11:30... International Football

14:15 ................................... NCIS

12:30.......... Football's Greatest Managers

15:15 ............ Mystery Woman: Snapshot

13:00.....................Football Asia

17:30 ..................... Neighbours

13:30....................Super League Backchat

18:00 ........Home and Away

14:00... International Football

18:30 ...................... 5 News

15:00... International Football

19:00 ..... Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge

17:00.......FIFA Futbol Mundial

20:00 ...Rolf's Animal Clinic

18:00 ................Boots 'n' All

21:00 ........................... NCIS

19:00 ...FIFA Futbol Mundial

22:00 .......... Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

19:30 .............. Elite League Speedway

22:55 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

21:30 ........Sporting Heroes

23:55 ... The Aussie Millions Poker Championship

23:30 ...... Transworld Sport

17:00 ......................5 News at 5

06:30 .............Thrillseekers: Ice 07:00 ...................WWE Vintage Collection 08:00........ Tavistock Cup Golf 11:00........................ Tennis-ATP Masters 1000 12:00 .....................Bass Fishing 13:00 ........... British Basketball League 15:00 ........ Tavistock Cup Golf 18:00 ................ Tennis-ATP Masters 1000 19:00 ................ Tennis-ATP Masters 1000 21:00 ................ FIBA World Basketball

22:00 ................ Horsemeat Banquet

21:30 ............... Boots 'n' All

23:00 ............... Family Guy

23:00 ..............Elite League Speedway

23:45 ......... American Dad!

06:00 .................Good Morning Sports Fans

22:30 .............. Total Rugby

22nd March - 28th March 2013

17:30..........Hyundai A League

22:30 ............................ NFL

07:10 .................. Dragons' Den 08:10 .............Storage Hunters 09:00 ............................Top Gear 10:00............................ Top Gear 11:00 .................. Dragons' Den 12:00 .............Storage Hunters 13:00 ............................Top Gear 15:00 ...............Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 16:00 .............Storage Hunters 17:00 ............................Top Gear 19:00 ........ Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 20:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 21:00 ......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00 ..................... The Rob Brydon Show 22:40 ..................Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask 23:20 ...............................QI

06:00 ................... Got to Dance 06:30 ................... Got to Dance 07:00 ................... Got to Dance 08:00 ..............Dog the Bounty Hunter 09:00 .................. John Bishop's Only Joking 10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 .......................... Futurama 14:30 .......................... Futurama 15:00 .................. Stargate SG-1 17:00....................... The Middle 17:25 .............. Toy Story Toons 17:35 .......................The Middle 18:00 .............John Bishop's Only Joking 18:30 ........... The Simpsons 19:00 ........... The Simpsons 19:30 ........... The Simpsons 20:00.......Ashley Banjo's W C Secret Street Crew CHOICE 21:00 ........................... Glee 22:00 ............... Moone Boy 23:30 ............John Bishop's Only Joking

06:00 .......Nothing to Declare

06:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise

06:00...................... Emmerdale 06:25...... Holiday Showdown 07:25....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show US 08:10.....You've Been Framed! 08:40........................Judge Judy 09:35....... Winners and Losers 10:35.... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:35 ................ The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 .......................Emmerdale 13:00 ...... Holiday Showdown 14:00..The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 17:05................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 .........The Jeremy Kyle Show US 19:00 ..You've Been Framed! 20:00 ............Fool Britannia 21:00 ...................Benidorm

07:00 .........................................ER 08:00 ......................Blue Bloods 09:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise 10:00......................................... ER 11:00 ......................Blue Bloods 12:00...... Star Trek: Enterprise 13:00 .................................House 14:00 .................................House 15:00 ......................Blue Bloods 16:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise 17:00 .........................................ER 18:00 ........................House 19:00 ........................House 20:00 ....................... Smash 21:00 .............. Blue Bloods 22:00 ........... The Sopranos 23:15 ......Game of Thrones

06:30....... Nothing to Declare 07:00................................ Maury 08:00................................ Maury 09:00...................... The Biggest Loser USA 10:00............... Criminal Minds 11:00 ...............Criminal Minds 12:00 .............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 13:00............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00 ...............Criminal Minds 15:00 ...............Criminal Minds 16:00 ................................ RSPCA Animal Rescue 16:30.. RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00 .............UK Border Force 18:00 .. Nothing to Declare 18:30 .. Nothing to Declare 19:00 ........ Criminal Minds 20:00 ............. Chicago Fire 21:00 ........................Bones 22:00 ....... Grey's Anatomy 23:00 ........................Bones

W C C H O IC E

Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Channel 4, 20:00

Phil Spencer returns for a new series as the secret agent helping homeowners unable to sell their properties across the UK. In the first double mission of the new series, Phil visits Shorehamby-Sea, where Ben and Kate have lived in their Grade II listed cottage for five years. But with two boys and too many toys, they're desperate to move to a bigger house. The only trouble is, after 15 viewings there's no sign of a sale. While the family are out, Phil sneaks in for a snoop around where he discovers a cluttered, charm-deficient home. Then Phil tries to help single mum Zoe in Worthing, who's been desperately trying to sell for three months. Phil soon finds out why - super-busy Zoe lives with three children, two dogs and a budgie, and she helps out in the community. With such a busy life, she's left with little time to look after the house. Phil confronts Zoe with a long list of changes needed. Can Phil clinch a sale on both houses?

Ashley Banjo's Secret Street Crew Sky 1, 20:00

Next up for Ashley Banjo is a group of rugby girls hoping to banish the 'butch' stereotype. Can the Diversity leader bring out their sassy, sexy sides?

Page 33

TV Guide

W C C H O IC E

www.canarianweekly.com

Thursday Thursday 06:00 ...........................Breakfast

06:00 ..............................Preview

06:00 .......................... Daybreak

09:15 ....................Heir Hunters

06:05 .................. Homes Under the Hammer

08:30 .............................Lorraine

10:00 .................. Homes Under the Hammer

07:50 ......................You've Been Scammed

10:30................... This Morning

11:30 ................... Real Rescues

08:20 .................... Heir Hunters

11:30................... This Morning

12:15 ...................Bargain Hunt

09:05 ........ Great British Menu

12:30 ................. Loose Women

Celebrity Juice

13:30 ........ BBC London News

ITV2, 22.30

14:15 ...........................Escape to the Country

13:45 ............................. Doctors

15:00 .................. Beat the Pack 15:45 ............ Countryside 999 16:30 ............................... Flog It! Lincolnshire. Antiques series. This edition comes from Normanby Hall in north Lincolnshire. Paul Martin is joined by experts Michael Baggott and Caroline Hawley as they hunt for antiques to take to auction and unearth some favourites among the crowd, including a French poster. Paul also reveals how Normanby Hall was used as a hospital during World War One.

17:15........................... Pointless 18:00 ....... BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00 ..........The One Show 19:30 ............... EastEnders 20:00 ...............MasterChef

Kids with Tourettes ITV1, 21.00 “When he first started swearing, you do a big intake of breath and think ‘oh my gosh, now what am I going to do?’ At that point I don’t think I was even able to support him. The emotions took over and I just literally cried for two days…I was sad. I’d lost part of my son.” Kristy, mum to Connor, age 12 It is believed that 1 in 100 school children are affected by Tourette’s Syndrome, mostly boys. There is no cure, but there is hope, thanks to a pioneering treatment programme at Great Ormond Street Hospital. This one-off, hour-long documentary follows the lives of three boys and their families over a six-month period as they share the reality of living with the condition and the daily obstacles they face. This is their story, in their own words. They are filmed at home and in public and both the boys and their families share their personal thoughts direct to camera in individual interviews which are woven into the programme. It offers a compelling insight into Tourette’s and how it can be treated, with unprecedented access to Great Ormond Street’s Clinic, which deals with the most severe and complex cases in the country. Callum, age 9, wants to be an astronaut when he grows up and proudly shares his impersonation of an alien with Tourette’s. His mum Maria explains he started by getting eye tics and now gets new ones all the time. Callum says: “Other people stare at me and it’s annoying and sometimes I just want to go over there and tell them that I’ve got Tourette’s and I can’t help it, can you stop staring at me? Animals are easier to be with than people because the animals just ignore you because they can’t talk or say anything.” Connor is age 12. He says: “I look normal but I happen to have Tourette’s Syndrome. I can’t help shout, swear or do movements. I call my Tourette’s Johnny because it’s Johnny who shouts and swears and me who doesn’t shout and swear.” Connor’s dad Carl describes him as: “Loving, caring, funny, sensitive, drives you mad, pushes you to the limit. And the next minute he makes you proud to be a parent. And then he’ll push you again.” Connor’s swearing in public is so bad that just a visit to a coffee shop can be eventful. Carl says: “We go into cafes or occasionally a bar and it’s normally quite busy. But then it goes quiet and then you get the looks of disgust, or the smiles, and then slowly one by one they disappear and you end up sat on your own.”

Page 34

09:25....................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00 ......................You've Been Scammed

13:00 .......... BBC News at One

Comedy panel show which sees TV presenter Holly Willoughby going up against model and actress, Kelly Brook to see who knows the most about this week’s celebrity news. This week’s episode of Celebrity Juice is ‘The Big Reunion Special’ with Scott Robinson and Abz Love from 5ive, Duncan James, Simon Webbe, Lee Ryan and Anthony Costa from Blue, Liz McClarnon from Atomic Kitten and Jessica Taylor from Liberty X all joining the panel. Presiding over the whole thing is the irrepressible host, Keith Lemon.

07:05 ....................Real Rescues

Cookery competition with John Torode and Gregg Wallace. It is the second heat, as the next set of hopefuls pick up their knives and show off their culinary skills. Firstly, they must overcome the notorious Invention Test and prove that, in only one hour, they can deliver an amazing plate of food with no planning. They must then survive the Palate Test, a brand new MasterChef challenge. Chef John Torode demonstrates crumbed venison cutlets, beetroot jalapeno relish and skordallia. Without seeing the demo, the amateurs are given just a few minutes to taste this dish before being asked to write down exactly what it is in it, using their sense of smell, and palate. Then they are asked to recreate John's dish in just one hour without a recipe.

21:00 .......Prisoners' Wives 22:00 ...... BBC News at Ten 22:35................Beyonce

CHO ICE

North East Dessert. The nation's greatest chefs are competing to cook at a special banquet at the Royal Albert Hall to celebrate 25 years of Comic Relief's Red Nose Day and celebrate the unsung heroes of charity work. Not only do they have to deliver a performance on a plate to win, they will also have to put a smile on everyone's face. The chefs will also be set fundraising challenges to raise money for Comic Relief. It is the North East chefs' last chance to impress before the final two chefs are chosen to face the Great British Menu judging panel. Which desserts will help get two chefs through to the Friday show? Will Colin McGurran's tiramisu inspired by comedy hero Tommy Cooper score highly with veteran judge Jason Atherton?

10:05 ..................... Great British Railway Journeys 10:35 .......................... HARDtalk 11:00 ......................... BBC News 12:00 ......Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House 13:30 .....................The Weakest Link Special 14:30 ..................... Mastermind 15:00 ............................. How We Won the War 15:30 ..................... Hairy Bikers' Best of British 16:15 .............. The Blue Planet 17:15 ..... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..................Eggheads 18:30 ........... Country Show Cook Off 19:00 ...Great British Menu 20:00...........James May's W C Man Lab CHOICE 21:00 ..................... Horizon 22:00 ......... How TV Ruined Your Life 22:30 ................. Newsnight 23:20 ... Ancient Egypt: Life and Death in the Valley of the Kings

11:25........................... ITV News

13:30 ........................... ITV News and Weather 14:00 ....................... Dickinson's Real Deal 15:00............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ...................Ade in Britain 17:00 .........................The Chase 18:00 .................... ITV News London 18:30 ............ ITV News and Weather 19:00 ............... Emmerdale 19:30 ..................... Tonight Breadline Britain. Has the nature of poverty changed, and what is the scale of deprivation in modern Britain? Julie Etchingham presents this special edition of the current affairs programme, examining the reality of poverty in the UK today. Taking in the most comprehensive study ever conducted into poverty, this show looks at the circumstances of the working poor - those families who are in employment but are living in shocking conditions and feel socially excluded.

20:00 ............... Emmerdale 20:30 ...... The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:00................Kids with CW Tourette's: In CHOICE Their Own Words Tourette's Syndrome affects one in a hundred children, most of them boys. These are the stories, in their own words, of three boys - Connor, Marco and Callum who are living with the condition. This documentary follows them through six months of treatment at Great Ormond Street Hospital as they are taught strategies to suppress their tics, individually and in a group.

22:00 ........ ITV News at Ten 22:35 ............ The Jonathan Ross Show 23:40 ......... River Monsters

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

Thursday Thursday 28 March 06:10....................Children's TV

06:00....................Children's TV

10:00...Undercover Boss USA

09:00 .......................Tickety Toc

11:00..................... Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

09:15 .............The Wright Stuff

12:00..............Channel 4 News

12:00................. Looney Tunes

12:05 ..... Come Dine with Me

12:05 ........5 News Lunchtime

12:35 ............What's Cooking?

12:15 ...................Rory and Will: Champions of the World

13:45 ..............Superscrimpers' Challenge

11:10................................. Trisha

13:15 ............Home and Away

06:00................. Good Morning Sports Fans

06:00 ................... Got to Dance

06:00........Nothing to Declare

06:30 ................... Got to Dance

06:30........Nothing to Declare

07:00 .................Good Morning Sports Fans

07:00 ................... Got to Dance

07:00................................. Maury

07:30 ................... Got to Dance

08:00 .................Good Morning Sports Fans

08:00................................. Maury

08:00 ........................ Terra Nova

09:00....................... The Biggest Loser USA

09:00 ...................... Boots 'n' All 10:00............. Sporting Heroes 11:00 ...........................European Tour Golf

09:00 ........................ Terra Nova 10:00 ....................Stargate: The Ark of Truth

10:00 ...............Criminal Minds

12:00 ..............Terry Pratchett's Going Postal

12:00 .............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00........ Diversity in Dublin 15:00.................. Stargate SG-1

13:00 .............CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

16:00 .................. Stargate SG-1

14:00 ...............Criminal Minds

17:00 .......................The Middle

15:00 ...............Criminal Minds

17:25 .........Tangled Ever After

16:00.. RSPCA Animal Rescue

17:35 .................. Brave: Special

17:00..............UK Border Force

11:00 ...............Criminal Minds

14:45 ..................... Countdown

13:45...................... Neighbours

15:30 .................. The Common Denominator

14:15 ..................The Mentalist 15:15................. Looney Tunes

16:00 ..............Deal or No Deal

14:00...................... Total Rugby

15:20....... McBride: Semper Fi

17:00 ..... Come Dine with Me

17:00.......................5 News at 5

14:30........................ FIFA Futbol Mundial

18:00 ...........The Simpsons

17:30 ..................... Neighbours

18:30 ................. Hollyoaks

18:00 ....... Home and Away

15:00 ............................. Hyundai A League

19:00 ....... Channel 4 News

18:30 ...................... 5 News

15:30 .......European Tour Golf

18:05 ................The Middle

18:00 ... Nothing to Declare

19:55 .......Easter Eggs Live

17:30 ............. Barclays Premier League World

18:30 ........... The Simpsons

19:00 ......... Criminal Minds

20:00 ............ Secret Eaters

19:00 ...... Whale Adventure with Nigel Marven

19:00 ........... The Simpsons

21:00 ... 40 Year Old Virgins

20:00 .......Cowboy Builders

18:00 ....................Ringside

19:30 ............ The Simpsons

20:00 ................... Stitch Me, Lift Me, Tuck Me

22:00 ............... Gogglebox

21:00 ... Killers Behind Bars

19:00 ........The Rugby Club

20:00 ........................ Arrow

21:00 ............. Love Matters

22:50 ............Random Acts

20:00 .......... Rugby League

21:00 ............Hawaii Five-0

21:30 ............. Love Matters

22:55 ........... Embarrassing Bodies

22:00 .............The Yorkshire Ripper: Crimes That Shook the World

22:00 ........ The Footballer's Football Show

22:00 .....NCIS: Los Angeles

22:00 ........ Mount Pleasant

23:55 ...... Extreme A and E

23:00 ...Banged Up Abroad

23:30 ....................Ringside

23:00 ............John Bishop's Only Joking

23:00 .......CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

19:00 ................... Top Gear 20:00 ........Motorway Cops 21:00 ........The Baby Bomb Series following the real-life dramas of three young couples and a single mum as their worlds are turned upside down when they take on the most daunting challenge of their life - becoming parents. Four young families, who have never met, come together to live in the same south London block of flats for ten weeks, but will it make the enormous challenge of being a young parent any easier? Shannon and Paul break up... then face another crisis when Shannon thinks she might be expecting, just two months after giving birth. Charlotte has a huge decision to make which could pull the family apart.

22:00 ......Lee Nelson's Well Funny People 22:30 ............... EastEnders 23:00 ............... Family Guy 23:50 ......... American Dad!

06:00 ..........Aerobics: Oz Style 06:30 .............Thrillseekers: Ice 07:00 ........... WWE Experience 08:00 ............... Weber Cup Ten Pin Bowlin 09:00 ..................... Elite League Speedway 11:00 ........................Tennis-ATP Masters 1000 12:00 ..................................... NFL 13:00 ..................... Total Rugby 13:30.. FIBA World Basketball 14:00...................... Elite League Speedway 16:00 ..................... Total Rugby 16:30 .....FIFA Futbol Mundial 17:00 ..................................... NFL 18:00 ...... Thrillseekers: Ice 18:30 ........... Super League Superstars 19:00 ...................... Premier League Darts 22:30 ....... World Wrestling

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13:00 ....................... Champions Tour Golf

07:10.................. Dragons' Den 08:10 .........Lizard Lick Towing 08:35 .........Lizard Lick Towing 09:00 ............................Top Gear 10:00 ............................Top Gear 11:00 .................. Dragons' Den 12:00......... Lizard Lick Towing 13:00............................ Top Gear 14:00 ............................Top Gear 15:00 ...............Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 16:00 .........Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 ............................Top Gear 19:00 ........ Ray Mears Goes Walkabout 20:00 ..........................QI XL 21:00 .......................... Suits 22:00 ...............Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:55 ..........Mock the Week 23:35 ........................... Suits

06:00 ............................ Star Trek: Enterprise 07:00 .........................................ER 08:00 ......................Blue Bloods 09:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise 10:00 .........................................ER 11:00...................... Blue Bloods 12:00............................ Star Trek: Enterprise 13:00 .................................House 14:00 .................................House 15:00 ......................Blue Bloods 16:00 ...... Star Trek: Enterprise 17:00 .........................................ER 18:00 ........................House 19:00 ........................House 20:00 .................Petrol Age 21:00 .............. Blue Bloods 22:00 ........................ Vegas 23:00 ...............The Borgias

06:00........................Emmerdale 06:25...........Coronation Street 06:55............. Planet's Funniest Animals 07:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show US 08:10.....You've Been Framed! 08:40........................Judge Judy 09:35........Winners and Losers 10:35.....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:35................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30........................Emmerdale 13:00 ..........Coronation Street 13:30....................... Judge Judy 14:00..The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ....The Real Housewives of Atlanta 17:05................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00 .........The Jeremy Kyle Show US 19:00 ..You've Been Framed!

W C C H O IC E Beyonce BBC1, 22:35

Life is But a Dream An imagine... Special. Following in the footsteps of Alan Yentob's 2008 profile of Jay-Z, imagine... presents the much-heralded Beyonce: Life is But a Dream. With Beyonce herself in the director's chair, this unique and confessional film combines spectacular showpieces and video diary footage, giving a revealing insight into the life of the 16-time Grammy Award-winning singer, songwriter, actress, entrepreneur, wife and mother. This is Beyonce, by Beyonce.

James May's Man Lab BBC2, 20:00

James May returns for an action-packed series, as he continues his epic quest to reskill the modern male. In the opening episode James enlists the help of a memory champion as he prepares to commentate live on one of the toughest sporting events of them all - the Grand National. Back in the Man Lab, rather than order in some takeaway, James builds a one tonne pizza oven from scratch. Meanwhile his helpless sidekick Rory is set the challenge of convincing a group of experts that he is the BBC's newest wine expert, with James and Oz Clark offering help via an earpiece from a van parked outside.

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22nd March - 28th March 2013

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22nd March - 28th March 2013

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Home and Lifestyle

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We’re busy, busy, busy! By Sue McDonald THOSE of you who read my column regularly will know that we have been mainly dealing with revamps and re-upholstery recently. But this week, we have received a new contract to revamp a large number of apartments, and also a nice villa to furnish from new. These are quite different types of projects: with the revamps, we are working with what they already have, respraying some furniture and re-upholstering the sofas, as well as hanging new curtains. But with the new projects, it is lovely to work with a blank canvas, starting from scratch, and deciding on colour

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schemes and inventory with the owner. In the photo is the lounge of a villa we have just completed in Callao Salvaje. The house is to be used by the owners themselves, but also rented out occasionally to contribute to the running costs - and the amount he has spent on refurb and furnishings. So the furniture had to be attractive, but also practical. Common sense dictates that you wouldn’t have white sofas or delicate ornaments in a rental property, but there are these other factors which should influence the choices just as much. *Curtains, which will block the sun, keeping the rooms cool (and dark, if people are sleeping in the lounge on a sofa bed), but also to prevent the furniture from fading. *Bedspreads, which are washed easily rather than dry-cleaned.

*Furniture that provides all the inventory needed, and is strong enough to stand up to the rigours of holidaymakers! To celebrate the fact that the business is going so well at the moment, and also because it was Gilly’s Mum’s birthday, we went out to dinner. We discovered that the Atlantida restaurant, which used to be on the seafront in Las Galletas, is now based on the corner of the entrance to Costa del Silencio near the Spar supermarket. So that was then a double celebration because it has been sorely missed - fabulous food and service at very reasonable prices. And when Gilly informed me that the fruit of the forest gateaux cleans your palate, and that you should eat chocolate because it helps you sleep, my night was complete!

Brits are pet pushovers! They spend £1bn on doggie snacks and treats. MANY Brits would rather pamper their pets and live a frugal lifestyle themselves rather than the other way round! New research from Mintel reveals that the sales of dog food have hit £1 billion as the nation’s four-legged lovers lavish their pets with snacks and special “treats”. But while sales of treats are thriving, the wet and dry dog -food industry has been less impressive as consumers switch to homemade alternatives. Home-made food is now a firm favourite for more than a third of Britain’s cat and dog owners. Alex Beckett, Senior Analyst at Mintel Food said: “The same species which love nothing more than to gnaw on a juicy bone now tuck into home-made dishes prepared by concerned owners, who pay close attention to diets for their cats and dogs. “That Britain remains a pet-loving nation is indisputable, and the bar is raised high for the healthiness and level of innovation in pet food.” He added: “Considering their owners may have been wolfing down high-profile, poor-quality, processed foods recently, you have to wonder whether Britain’s pampered pets are getting the better treatment all round.” While consumers continue to feel the pinch and household budgets are tightened, just 17% of Brit pet-owners admit to buying fewer pet treats than a year ago to save money. And the ladies are a pushover when it comes to treating their fourlegged friends - only the

best is good enough for their pampered pets. In fact, 38% of pet owners agree they would rather cut back on their own food before spending less on their pets, and 19% are even concerned that are there aren’t enough gourmet cat and dog foods available. Also, 51% of owners, far from being concerned about a healthy intake for themselves, actually worry more about whether their cats and dogs are scoffing the right nutrients. Alex Becket said: “Introducing more sophisticated recipes could support growth for the market value, considering a significant number of cat and dog owners agree there are not enough gourmet foods for them.. “Taking their cue from human food markets, such as using regionally-sourced ingredients, traceability of meats or ethnic-style recipes, could translate into more upmarket appeal regarding wet food for cats and dogs. Regionally, the Scots and those living in the North are the biggest softies when it comes to pet treats, but owners in London put the main accent good health for their moggies and mutts, tending to spend a little more to buy pet

food with health benefits. And dogs are the nation’s favourite pet, with 33% of households having one. Cats come a close second, just 2% behind, with tropical fish and goldfish on 17%, completing Britain’s top-three pet list. Small mammals, such as guinea pigs, rabbits and mice, are found in 10% of homes, while caged birds live in 5% of them. Mintel’s research also reveals that the North West is the top region for pet ownership, with 71% of people there accommodating at least one, compared with the 63% national average. Dog owners peak in the North, North West and Scotland, with (38%) having one, against 29% of households in the South East and East Anglia. Meanwhile, 38% of those living in the South West and Wales prove to be the biggest cat lovers, with people up North and in Scotland owning10% fewer. When it comes to the size of dogs, medium - including Labradors, Spaniels and Staffordshire Bull Terriers, are Britain’s most popular household pets, adding up to 51% of the entire doggie population. The next most popular are the small dogs (36%), including Jack Russells, Dachshunds and Yorkshire Terriers. But big is still best with 14% of owners, who favour Alsatians, Old English Sheepdogs and Huskies. As for the extra-small breeds, such as Chihuahuas and Pugs, they total just 5% of all Britain’s dogs. Believe it or not, toys for pets, purchased by 53% of owners added up to business worth £76 million for traders in the 2011-12 period, despite the desperate economic climate. And 19% of all owners actually buy Christmas stockings for their pets. but how the fish delve into theirs is a mystery.

22nd March - 28th March 2013

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By David Hudgell C H E L S E A FLOWER SHOW this year promises to be as nearly as big an event as last year’s Olympics.

Garden

ARE YOU A PLANT

21st to Saturday 25th May the show will be celebrating its 100th anniversary and to help make it

The RHS are looking for volunteers to take part in this year’s RHS Chelsea Flower Show, sponsored by M&G Investments. Taking place from Tuesday

extra special the RHS are looking for Olympic Games Maker style volunteers to become Chelsea Plant Hunters. Chelsea Plant Hunters will act as spokespeople for the show, they will share their passion for plants in order to educate, inform and inspire visitors. Located in the heart of the show;

T I M E Tomato Seeds - Tumbling Tom Red

Grow tomatoes tumbling from hanging baskets, the best time to sow is from now until May. Ideal for baskets and containers. These tomato plants produce delicious small/ medium fruits. They look pretty too as they are trailing. Why not try growing with lobelia and petunia. Ideal for patio and terrace gardening. They don’t need to be pinched out just watering and regular feeding.

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the Great Pavilion, Chelsea Plant Hunters will be amongst floral exhibits from the UK’s top specialist nurseries and exotic floral exhibits from around the world, and will be on hand to add that special something to the show. To be part of the most world’s most famous flower show email plant hunters@rhs.org.uk. Full training will be provided. Applications close on Tuesday 26th March 2013.

T O

Garden jobs It’s officially Spring, so why not start growing, whether it’s in a pot or on your windowsill. It’s a great time to try. Plant lily bulbs in pots for colourful summer displays Bulbs are usually associated with spring, but, there are bulbs adapted for every season, even in summer. Lilies are perhaps the most sensuous of summer bulbs, usually seen in bouquets of flowers they are not hard to grow. Lilies always do very well in pots as long as you add plenty of leaf mould to the potting compost. Giving them enough room is also key. Don’t cram half a dozen bulbs into a small container; instead, put about three bulbs in a 5ltr pot, or bigger, and they’ll grow strongly and produce masses of flowers over a longer period. Trim it back If you have a shrub rose in a pot that looks a bit woody trim it back to the new growth. Cut back overgrown honeysuckle stems close to their base, just above new shoots Trim back old shoots of perennials left for winter interest, taking care not to damage

emerging new growth Grow some spuds Grow early-maturing potatoes in a bag of compost, if you go up in the hills the Canarians have their first crop of potatoes in, some flowering, some just popping through the soil. General things to do Dig out problem weeds and emerging annual weeds Sow seeds of the following crops outside or under cloches: carrots, beetroot, broad beans, salad onions, cauliflower, cabbage, spinach, leeks, lettuce, rocket, coriander, mixed salad or stir fry leaves, radish, turnip, peas, lettuce and Swiss chard Sow seeds of cucumbers, tomatoes, aubergines and peppers to raise summer crops Sow summer bedding plants, such as petunias, geranium, verbena and busy Lizzie Take cuttings from chrysanthemums Pick faded or yellowing leaves from plants to prevent grey mould infections Raise crops in modular trays to transplant into the garden later, such as celery, celeriac, lettuce, parsley and other herbs Plan your seed-sowing year by organising packets in sowing order in a shoe box or tray

S O W. . .

Coriander Seeds - Lemon

Coriander is well used here in Tenerife and this variety has a hint of LEMON. Sow from now until June ideal for pots and containers. Grows best in a sunny position. Can be grown as ‘cut & come again’ salad leaves in containers (cropping from 28 days), or as a fully mature plant. Harvest seed when flower heads turn brown and hang stems upside down indoors.

Leaf Salad Seeds - Lettuce Mix

Colourful mixed leaves. Easy to grow. Nutritious, mixed leaves. Colourful, healthy salads. Ready in just 3 weeks. Sow thinly into pots or tubs of quality moist compost, covering lightly with compost. Place in a sunny position and maintain moisture. Harvest by ‘tipping’ with scissors when the leaves are 10-12cm (45”). A further harvest may be taken from regrowth. Sow little and often for tasty young leaves. Alternatively sow in outdoor border soil or in a container on the windowsill indoors.

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Health and Beauty

GO WITH THE FLOW

By Carl from Robot

I AM asked by clients on a number of occasions in the salon to cut a certain style for them that simply cannot be done. It’s not because I won’t do it but because I can’t. So many factors come into play when working to create a look and it’s not just a question of picking up scissors and away we go. We have to check the condition of the hair, the texture and the growth pattern. If not, the look you after will just not work. Here’s an example: if you’re asking for a blunt fringe to your haircut and your hairline at the front swings to one side, then this isn’t a look for you. I can cut it into the hair but, trust me, it

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won’t work. This is also the case for neck lines. If you want feathery and whispy, yet your hairline grows upwards, then forget it because it’s not going to happen. Your hair doesn’t grow from your head in an upward direction. It actually leaves the root in many ways, which causes problems if you want a specific cut. As stylists, we check this on your consultation (please tell me you get one before your appointment starts) to analyse that what you are asking for can be achieved. It’s not that we might not care to give you the look that you want, but simply because it might not be possible. Very rarely does the hair grow the same on both sides of the head. Check it out in the mirror and the chances are you’ll see that one side grows forward and the other back.

We cannot change this because we have to go with the flow, cutting your hair as it grows and how it falls, Yes, you can force it into place, but my style of hairdressing doesn’t allow for this. You will find that styling your hair will be so much easier if you follow its growth, never trying to make it do what it won’t do - or doesn’t want to do. Following this rule will ensure that your hair looks good when you return to the salon for your next appointment, and not just for a few days after you’ve left it.

Vitamin D issue for mums and babies LEVELS of vitamin D in pregnant women may not affect the baby’s bone health - contrary to official advice.

Current NHS guidance says all pregnant and breast-feeding women should take a 10 microgram vitamin D supplement every day, because it is believed to help build stronger bones in their offspring. But Professor Debbie Lawlor, who led the Children of the 90s study at Bristol University, said there was “no strong evidence” that pregnant women should be taking vitamin D supplements”. His researchers found no link between a mother’s levels of the vitamin while carrying the child, and the latter’s bone health at the age of 10. Yet other experts said some groups of women, such as those getting little sunlight and the obese, were more at risk of low vitamin D stores, and said they should still be encouraged to do so.

The study, published in The Lancet medical journal, assessed vitamin D levels in 3,960 women throughout their pregnancy. The bone mineral content (BMC), a measure of bone health, of their child was then assessed at an average age of 9.9 years. Researchers who measured vitamin D levels at all stages of pregnancy found that levels were higher in summer months and lower among non-white mothers and those who smoked during pregnancy. Overall, though, there was no significant link between a mother’s vitamin D levels and her child’s BMC. Dr Tony Falconer, President of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, said: “We know that Vitamin D regulates the amount of calcium in the body, which helps to keep bones and teeth healthy. “And low levels have been associated with problems relating to the baby’s bone formation, plus a higher risk

of diseases such as rickets and osteoporosis in later life. “Some women are more at risk of having low vitamin D level. These include those of south Asian, black African, black Caribbean, or Middle Eastern origin, women who have limited exposure to sunlight, obese women (pre-pregnancy BMI >30) and those who eat a diet low in vitamin D.” He added: “It is particularly important that these women get their required dose. As healthcare professionals, it is our role to reinforce the importance for proper diet and nutrition during pregnancy - and throughout a woman’s lifespan. “It is important that at-risk women are informed, at their first antenatal booking, of the importance of adequate vitamin D during pregnancy and after, to maintain their own and their baby’s health. “Further research is needed to look at vitamin supplementation, including potential benefits, harms and optimal dosing.”

22nd March - 28th March 2013

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Health and Beauty

Skimmed milk may be a big waste on toddlers By Val Sainsbury

Productivity is a wee problem!

MOTHERS who give their toddlers skimmed milk to prevent them gaining weight may be wasting their time. A US study by researchers at the University of Virginia School of Medicine found that two-year-olds who drank full-fat milk put on fewer pounds by the age of four than those on low-fat. Academics believe this is because higher fat milk makes children feel fuller for longer, and eat less as a result. The study concluded that the type of milk given to children “may not matter that much”, despite fears that the obesity epidemic is being fuelled by high-fat diets. Professor Mark

DeBoer, who led the research, said: “We assumed the study would show that children drinking lowfat and skimmed milk would be helped to keep their weight down, but this was not the case. “If you are going to drink milk, and we strongly back the

22nd March - 28th March 2013

importance of drinking milk at a young age, it doesn’t seem to matter that much which type it is.” Yet the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Heart Association recommend all children drink lowfat or skimmed milk after the age of two

to ward off obesity. In contrast, British mums with children under five are advised not to give them skimmed milk - which has virtually all the fat removed because they need the extra energy for growth. The US study asked 11,000 parents what type of milk their children drank at aged two and four: skimmed; 1% semi-skimmed; 2% milk fat; full-fat, or soya. The children were also weighed and measured at both ages, – with around one in three being overweight or obese at both time points, says a report published online in the Archives of Disease in Childhood. Heavier children were more likely to drink skimmed and semiskimmed milk, with 14% of heavy two-yearolds and 16% of heavy four-year-olds drinking it, compared with 9%

PEOPLE who get up during the night to relieve themselves are less productive during the day than those who sleep through. The need for a wee once or more at night, known as nocturia, is linked to “notable work productivity loss”, according to a study presented to the European Association of Urology in Milan. The study asked 385 men and 261 women with the condition to fill in a work-productivity and activityimpairment questionnaire, assessing the impact of health problems on their ability to work and perform regof normal-weight twoyear-olds and 13% of normal-weight fouryear-olds. Professor DeBoer said parents were probably acting from the best motives by choosing low-fat milks, but milk fat may increase a feeling of fullness and so reduce the appetite for other high-calorie foods.

ular tasks. Nocturia, a condition more prevalent in pregnant women and the elderly, was linked to a 24% drop in work productivity – which is more than those suffering asthma or chronic obtrusive pulmonary disease. The report’s author, Dr Philip Van Kerrebroeck, a professor at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands, said: “These data show that nocturia negatively affects both sleep and daytime performance. “Its impact on work productivity is in line with many other chronic conditions.” He added: “Physicians don’t have much time to advise parents worried about their children putting on weight, so they may be better off sticking to advice we know works. “This includes cutting down on TV-watching and sugary drinks, and increasing exercise and fruit and vegetable intake.”

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Traditional Easter Simnel cake treat Ingredients 100g/4oz glacĂŠ cherries 225g/8oz butter, softened 225g/8oz light muscovado sugar 4 large eggs 225g/8oz self-raising flour 225g/8oz sultanas 100g/4oz currants 50g/2oz chopped candied peel 2 lemons, grated zest only 2 tsp ground mixed spice For the filling and topping 450g/1lb marzipan

1-2 tbsp apricot jam, warmed Preparation method Preheat the oven to 150C/280F/Gas 2. Grease and line a 20cm/ 8in cake tin. Cut the cherries into quarters, put in a sieve and rinse under running water. Drain well then dry thoroughly on kitchen paper. Place the cherries in a bowl with the butter, sugar, eggs, self-raising flour, sultanas, currants, candied peel, lemon zest and mixed spice and beat well until

thoroughly mixed. Pour half the mixture into the prepared tin. Take one-third of the

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marzipan and roll it out to a circle the size of the tin and then place on top of the cake mixture.

Spoon the remaining cake mixture on top and level the surface. Bake in the pre-

heated oven for about 2Â˝ hours, or until well risen, evenly brown and firm to the touch. Cover with aluminium foil after one hour if the top is browning too quickly. Leave to cool in the tin for 10 minutes then turn out, peel off the parchment and finish cooling on a wire rack. When the cake is cool, brush the top with a little warmed apricot jam and roll out half the remaining marzipan to fit the top. Press firmly on the top and crimp the edges to decorate. Mark a criss-cross pattern on the marzipan with a sharp knife. Form the remaining marzipan into 11 balls. Brush the marzipan with beaten egg and arrange the marzipan balls around the edge of the cake. Brush the tops of the balls with beaten egg and then carefully place the cake under a hot grill until the top is lightly toasted. Source www.bbc.co.uk/ food

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com THAI BOTANICO, situated upstairs in the left corner of the Safari Centre, just down from Biancos and Imperial Tai-Pan, just screams class - like all the restaurants in this area. And from the furniture to the authentic statues, the foliage to the cutlery, every detail has been thought out to give its clientele an authentic dining experience. I arrived slightly late and joined my partner, who was already enjoying a fruity glass of house red and scanning the menu. I have tried Thai food on two other occasions only, and really didn’t have a clue what to order. But I needn’t have worried because, just for these occasions, Thai Botanico have a secret weapon in the guise of the lovely Lydia, our waitress. She explained every dish, with the knowledge of a chef, and made everything sound delicious. So with her advice ringing in our ears, we ordered our dishes. Our starters arrive: Thai Oriental special mixed hors d’oeuvres - a mixture of many of the separate items available from the entrées menu and a window into the world of Thai food. From the succulent fish cakes and prawn paper rolls, to the fabulouslytender chicken satay skewers and Thai spring rolls, this was an excellent choice. And, with an accompaniment of wonderfullyflavoured dips, it all managed to hit every taste bud on the way down. Not being a fishy person, as I have stated in the past, you would have

Food Review

Tongue-Thaid with delight! to us. I guarantee your mouth will be watering, so here goes. “Ban Tam Chicken in a green curry with honey and black pepper; a whole chicken slowly roasted in the oven with green curry, lemon grass and many Thai special spices, then chopped and cooked slowly on the grill while being rubbed with a mixture of honey and cracked black pepper (slaver, slaver).” This was exactly as it sounded - incredible! The other main course didn’t disappoint, either, Lamb masaman curry, slowly-roasted lamb so tender I couldn’t keep it on my fork, with aubergines and potatoes

been proud of me. Lydia recommended the mussels for my partner, who decided to go for a halfportion because they sounded so good. Actually, they were even better than that and I really I went for it. Yes, a full portion. And believe me, that’s up there with inventing the wheel as far as discoveries go. And the sauce they came in was mind-blowing. I could quite happily drink a mug of this stuff - superb! So, with my new love of mussels carving a large smile on my face, we head to the main courses, and this is where I write, word for word, how Lydia explained one of them

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and a sauce that I can taste as I’m writing this. I have never tasted anything like this before, as every mouthful opened up a plethora of flavours, each one separate but belonging with the next, I guess I have definitely been, pardon the pun, Un-Thaid. I finished as always with dessert and again, with a Thai feel, I plumped for mango cheesecake with coconut ice-cream and a raspberry coulis. It rounded off perfectly one of the best meals I have ever had. If you’ve never tried Thai, or have had a halfhearted meal elsewhere, you must not let it put you off. Give Thai Botanico a try and you will not be disappointed. Incidentally, as this is a family restaurant and, as their motto says, “It doesn’t have to be spice to be nice”, and that all the dishes can be adjusted to your liking, I asked for my curry to be slightly more spicy than normal. But it could easily have been the other way and, if say, you don’t care for fresh coriander, it’s not a problem. Because every dish is freshly prepared, they will leave that out for you. In conclusion, we had an incredible evening. We will be back very soon. C.C. Safari Center. Tel: 922 797 759.

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Travel

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Great Scot! It’s ideal for families

Auchrannie Spa Resort: Brodick, Isle of Arran

SCOTLAND can boast of having Britain’s No1 family hotel for families, according to TripAdvisor®.

The Auchrannie Spa Resort, in Brodick on the Isle of Arran, was crowned the UK’s top family-friendly hotel by the world’s largest travel site. And as well as also being named 10th in Europe and 25th in the entire world alongside such attractions as the US Disney hotels in Orlando, it is the only UK property to feature in those lists. The Resort, off the west coast of Scotland, makes sure kids are kept happy, and, subsequently, their parents as well, with two 20-metre swimming pools, a sports hall, three-tier indoor soft

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play area and games and internet rooms. Linda Johnston, Executive Director of the Auchrannie Spa Resort said, “We are delighted to have been voted No1 family hotel by the families on TripAdvisor. “This is testimony to the efforts of our fantastic team, who work hard to ensure families who visit us have an enjoyable and memorable stay.” Cornwall also features in the UK top 10 twice: Newquay’s Sands Resort Hotel & Spa, which was voted No2, and the Bedruthan Hotel & Spa in Mawgan Porth, which took ninth spot. The Sands was said to be the ideal family getaway. For kids, there is a host of free activities,

including a climbing wall, zip wire and bouncy castle, as well as an OFSTEDapproved kids’ club and entertainment programme. And the Ocean Breeze spa is the perfect place for parents to chill while the children are enjoying themselves. Blackpool also celebrated a double success, with the Premier Inn Blackpool Central and Doric Hotel voted sixth and seventh respectively. The Premier Inn, close to the Blackpool’s renowned Pleasure Beach and Golden Mile, offers spacious family rooms at no extra cost, and under-16s can stay and eat breakfast for free. For those seeking top holiday places abroad, Italy’s Cavallino Bianco Family Spa Grand Hotel in Ortisei, Val Gardena, has been crowned the world’s No1 family hotel. It’s the ultimate kids’

fantasy because the hotel prides itself on an abundance of amenities to keep the kids entertained. These include a mini-sports arena, pirates’ lair, giant Legobuilding, small petting zoo, children’s carracing area and garden restaurant, with free, all-day access to the soft drinks fountain and icecream. Tripadvisor’s awardwinners were based on the hotels rated most highly by those who travelled with their families. For the complete 2013 Travellers’ Choice Awards for Hotels for Families list, go to http:// www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ TravelersChoice-Family. *To see the best hotels for luxury, bargain, and more, as honoured in TripAdvisor Travellers’ Choice Awards for Hotels in January, go to http://www.tripadvisor. co.uk/TravellersChoice.

UK Top 10 Family Hotels 1. Auchrannie Spa Resort: Brodick, Isle of Arran 2. Sands Resort Hotel & Spa: Newquay, Cornwall 3. Butlins Shoreline Hotel: Bognor Regis, W. Sussex 4. Legoland Resort Hotel: Windsor, Berkshire 5. Center Parcs, Longleat Forest: Warminster, Wilts 6. Premier Inn Blackpool Central: Lancashire 7. Doric Hotel: Blackpool, Lancashire 8. Premier Inn Tamworth Central: Staffordshire 9. Bedruthan Hotel: Mawgan Porth, Cornwall 10. Novotel, Tower Bridge: London Europe Top 10 Family Hotels 1. Cavallino Bianco Family: Ortisei, Italy 2. Hotel La Grotta: Vigo di Fassa, Italy 3. Hotel Baltic: Giulianova, Italy 4. Holiday Village Rhodes: Kolimbia, Greece 5. Oleandri Resort: Paestum, Italy 6. Hotel Piz Galin: Andalo, Italy 7. Royal Son Bou Family Club: Spain 8. Alpino Family Hotel: Andalo, Italy 9. Hotel Exective: Cesenatico, Italy 10. Auchrannie Spa Resort: Isle of Arran World Top 10 Family Hotels 1. Cavallino Bianco Grand Hotel: Italy 2. Club Med Ixtapa Pacific: Ixtapa, Mexico 3. Family Hotel La Grotta: Italy 4. Hotel Baltic: Italy 5. Floridays Resort Orlando: Florida 6. Woodloch Pines Resort: Pennsylvania 7. WorldQuest Orlando Resort: Florida 8. West Inn Carlsbad: Carlsbad, California 9. Red Jacket Mountain: New Hampshire 10. Beaches Negril Resort: Negril, Jamaica 25. Auchrannie Spa Resort: Isle of Arran

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com

Motoring

313mpg wondercar! By Jav VO L K S WA G E N will revolutionise the car industry this year by building a production car capable of a staggering 313 miles per gallon. They claim their radical VW XL1, which was unveiled at the Qatar Motor Show at the end of January, and also displayed at the Geneva Motor Show earlier this month, is the world’s most fuelefficient car. And who can argue? It will be powered by a tiny 800cc diesel engine, combined with a separate electric motor and battery pack, which will give the plug-in hybrid a 0-62mph time of 12.2secs and a modest top speed capped at 99mph. The company say their lightweight XL1 is not about sporty performance but environmentally-friendly driving. This means when driven in a fuelconserving fashion. the lightweight vehicle would cost around 1.20 euros to travel 100km (62 miles). It can also cover half that distance in allelectric mode, in which it emits zero carbon

dioxide. The engine is a two-cylinder TDI diesel producing 48PS (47bhp), paired with a motor rated at 20kW (27bhp). Working together, they produce up to 51kW (68bhp) and 140Nm of torque. The XL1’s engine and motor are separated by a clutch, allowing diesel power to sit dormant while the battery takes care of propulsion. A full charge should be good for about 30 miles, according to VW, while recharging will take a couple of hours from a household socket. And in hybrid mode, the tiny 10-litre fuel tank should exceed the 300-mile range. The company add that the overall consumption figure comes out at 0.9 litres per 100km, slightly better than the

one-litre target they set themselves at the outset of the XL1 project in 2002. And in old money? That’s 313 miles per imperial gallon. As a result, the extraordinary XL1 will be just about the cheapest car in the world

to keep filled up with diesel. That’s just as well because absolutely everything else about XL1 ownership will almost certainly fall on the costly side. Volkswagen have so far refused to give any indication of how much

the aerodynamic twoseater will cost, but overall, emissions are a mere 21g/km, which is less than a quarter of the amount produced by the ultra-green Toyota Prius. Despite weighing just 795kg, the XL1’s body is

genuinely tough, thanks to its carbon fibre, and VW have confirmed they will build an initial 50 models at their Osnabrueck factory in Germany, alongside the Golf Cabriolet and Porsche Boxster. It is just short of four metres long, which is the same size as a VW Polo, and it sits lower off the ground than a Lamborghini sports car, at 1.18m tall. Furhermore, Volkswagen chairman Dr Martin Winterhorn says the XL1 will go on sale in Britain and Germany first - and at an affordable price. But don’t hold your breath on that one! In order to develop the car’s innovative exterior, Volkswagen patented a new system for the manufacture of the Carbon Fibre Reinforced Polymer (CFRP) parts on the car called the Resin Transfer Moulding (RTM) process. Further savings, which VW pledge will be passed onto the customer, were made through the extensive use of lightweight materials, including magnesium for the wheels; ceramics for brake discs; and aluminium for dampers, steering system and brake calipers. The first models are scheduled to roll off the assembly line before the end of the year and go on sale immediately.

New Qashqai has that ‘best-seller’ touch NISSAN, who have cornered the crossover market with their ntec+ Qashqai, are poised for another best seller with their updated model, called the 360. The 360 continues to offer a compelling mix of gadgets and a roomy, comfortable cabin. True, it’s not as sharp to drive as some rivals and the interior looks a little dated, but the Qashqai is still a fine family car - and more desirable than ever. After five years, the car has cemented its place in the UK sales charts, and how! Last year, for example, Nissan shifted more

ntec+ models than Ford managed with their entire Mondeo range. But to make sure it keeps up with the latest contenders in the crossover market, the brand has replaced this most popular trim with the new 360 model. Prices for the newcomer will match the ntec+, but the kit list has been bolstered with a new Around View Monitor, which uses four wide-angle cameras to give a bird’s-eye view when parking. First seen on the Infiniti EX, this clever system works really well in narrow car parks and

22nd March - 28th March 2013

makes it easier to avoid pillars and kerbs. Other distinguishing features are 18-inch Onyx alloys and gloss-black roof rails, plus an equipment list which includes climate control, sat-nav and part-leather seats. On the road, the Qashqai feels as comfortable and refined as ever, with strong ingear pace. So although it’s a bit costly at just over £23,000, it’s worth the extra. This stop-start version is also more powerful than a Skoda Yeti GreenLine II, yet it’s more efficient, with CO2 emissions of just 118g/ km.

Page 45

Sport

By Roscoe

Real Aviles 0 CD Tenerife 3 CD Marino 2 Salamanca 0 IN the January transfer window, CD Tenerife brought in three new signings, but it seems the one they didn’t sign is making the most waves. A mini-selection crisis saw Alberto thrust into the main team after some steady B-team displays and he has taken to the higher level like a natural. He is also comfortable as a holding midfielder, a role he performed with style on Sunday, and has al-

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Amazing Alberto revives Tenerife

ready chipped in with two goals. Fans are already whispering that he could be the next Pablo Sicilia! He is way off that but, along with fellow Canarian youngster Ayoze, has certainly freshened things up. Both were excellent on Sunday, and the result was as important as the performance. I wrote last week how much the hosts had slipped, but that shouldn’t dull what was a fine display. It also sent a message to the chasing pack and, with only Leganes winning, Tenerife are firmly back in the driving seat - five points clear with just nine games to go. Meanwhile, in Las Americas, something has happened to CD Marino. They’ve suddenly got good! Their eye-catching, 2-0 win over Salamanca made it

10 points from their last five matches. They have now played two of the biggest teams (Real Oviedo and Salamanca) and traditional sides, home and away, and lost none of them, collecting eight points. Quite remarkable. Balduino and Izeta got the goals, and there is a new-found confidence in the ranks. There is no doubt they will now be treated with respect, but the sadness is that this has come far too late. If they’d hit this form in January, they may have had a survival chance. But they are 12 points off any kind of safety, with just those nine matches to go. However, they do have an excellent runin, which starts with a home match against the aforementioned Aviles.

Segunda B

Position

Points

PLD

Won Draw 16

Lost

CD Tenerife

CD Leganés

Real Oviedo

CF Fuenlabrada

Caudal Deportivo

Real Madrid CF C

Coruxo FC

UD Salamanca

Club Atlético de Madrid B

10 Real Avilés CF

11 Club Marino de Luanco

12 CD Ourense

13 Getafe CF B

14 Real Sporting B

15 UD San Sebastián de los Reyes35

16 CD Guijuelo

17 Zamora CF

18 Rayo Vallecano B

19 RSD Alcalá

20 CD Marino

Next Door and Bluebell slay giants! THE Tenerife Pool Tables Cup is a hard competition to win, and quarter-finals night saw some fantastic matches. Phoenix Potters, third in Division One, are out - and they have only themselves to blame.

They were in a battle royal with Division Two leaders Next Door but, at 6-5 down, Les went in off a straight black to gift the Torviscans a place in the last four. It was Les’ third defeat of the night. Meanwhile, in Los Cristianos, Dreamers should have knocked out Tenerife Hammers

Cup results: Tenerife Pool Tables Cup Quarter Finals Dreamers 5-7 Tenerife Hammers A Exiles B 2-10 Phoenix Knights La Caña 4-8 Gaffers A Next Door 7-5 Phoenix Potters Tenerife Pool Tables Plate Quarter Finals Terrace Bar B 5-7 Peacocks Bluebell B 8-4 Tenerife Hammers C Ryans Bar 7-5 Palms B Palms A 12-0 Picasso's Tenerife Pool Tables Cup - Semi Finals Phoenix Knights vs Gaffers A Next Door vs Tenerife Hammers A Tenerife Pool Tables Plate - Semi Finals Bluebell B vs Palms A Ryans Bar vs Peacocks Matches will be played on April 30th at neutral venues

Page 46

A. Tommy twice should have beaten Jambo in crucial frames, and nine times out of 10 he would have. But if you don't take your chances you get punished in this league, and Hammers sneaked home 7-5. There were no such problems for Phoenix

Knights and Gaffers A, who will now meet in the semi-finals. In the Tenerife Pool Tables Plate, Bluebell B caused a big upset when they knocked out top-flight Tenerife Hammers C. The eel-munchers struggled with the surroundings and paid

the price. Bluebell’s reward is a clash with Palms A, while Ryans Bar will meet Peacocks for a place in the final. Both eased through 7-5 from their respective matches with Palms B and Terrace B. There were four Division Two league matches, and Exiles A

still harbour title hopes after a 10-2 win at Inn The Pink B. But Treehouse A lost ground. They were 5-0 down, then 6-5 up, before settling for a draw at Hoppys. Gaffers B edged past Bar 13 7-5 while Bluebell A were too strong for Shortys.

DIVISION 2 RESULTS Hoppys Bar Inn The Pink B Shorty's

6-6 2-10 4-8

The Treehouse A Exiles A Bluebell A

LEAGUE TABLE

Table P 1 Next Door 27 2 Exiles A 25 3 The Treehouse A 26 4 Bluebell A 27 5 James Place 27 6 Inn The Pink B 26 7 Exiles B 27 8 Gaffers B 29 9 Palms Bar B 27 10 Ryan's Bar 27 11 Picasso's 27 12 Hoppys Bar 23 13 Tenerife Pool Tables 26 14 Bar 13 28 15 Treehouse B 26 16 Bluebell B 27 17 Toscales B 27 18 Shorty's 26 19 Mountain Rangers 36

W D L F A +- PTS 23 3 1 227 97 130 72 19 5 1 210 90 120 62 18 4 4 202 110 92 58 18 3 6 197 127 70 57 17 4 6 198 126 72 55 15 5 6 185 127 58 50 14 6 7 194 130 64 48 14 4 11 195 153 42 46 14 3 10 189 135 54 45 13 5 9 192 132 60 44 12 5 10 161 163 -2 41 12 4 7 165 111 54 40 8 4 14 148 164 -16 28 8 3 17 159 177 -18 27 6 4 16 152 160 -8 22 6 4 17 103 221 -118 22 4 2 21 121 203 -82 14 2 0 24 55 257 -202 6 0 0 36 31 401 -370 0

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com It should be another three points … and then, who knows? One of the reasons in Marino’s turnaround has been the form of Sandro, who is on loan from CDT. He is maturing nicely and will be a real asset for Tenerife next season. His parent club are back on the mainland this Sunday, facing bogey team Getafe B. The kids are all right for the hosts, especially

youngster Samuel Saiz. The kid is mustard and was brilliant when these teams were in Santa Cruz a few months ago. The former Real Madrid youngster has had his injury problems, but he is far too good for this standard and went into the notebook after running the show in November. His late equaliser in the pouring rain gave the 10 men a deserved equaliser.

22nd March - 28th March 2013

Sport

What a fitting finale! Darts League Tables PREMIER LEAGUE RESULTS Target Army Xtreme Sports bar

By Geoff Huxtable WELL, we expected a good John Lowe Team Handicap Trophy final, but it wasn’t just good it was brilliant! Xtreme Sports Bar and Bar 180 A, the League’s two best teams, always bring out the best in each other and, with so much at stake, it seemed to galvanise them even more. The match produced no fewer than 78 tonplus scores and four maximums. An easy one for the scorers! Xtreme took first blood as Tom dispatched Wayne 2-0. Bar 180 boss-man Richard then pulled one back with a close 2-1 win over Mitch. The big man, Ian, put Xtreme back in front by beating Justyn, only for Scouse Mick to level it up again. The important last

singles went to Xtreme captain Mike Telf, with a 2-1 success against Gary. So it was do-ordie for Bar 180, who rallied themselves, knowing that they had to win both doubles. Sadly they lost the first doubles and hence the match as Telf hit the winning dart. Wild celebrations followed this stunning match all round, which was played in fine spirit. The maximum men were Xtreme’s Mitch, Ian and Telf, and Richard for Bar 180 A. The John Lowe Team Handicap Plate final, played at Chipeque Pool Bar, drew a large crowd and pitched First Division Cozy Warriors against last year’s winners, Gaffers B, from the Second Division. It was nip-and-tuck all the way and, with the scores tied at three apiece, and 1-1 in the second doubles rubber, it was all up for grabs. All it needed was for a couple of old heads to steel themselves and fire in the darts required. So, step forward Del Boy and Shammy, who took the leg and claimed the cup for Cozy Warriors. More wild celebrations, no doubt! That just leaves me to round up some remaining league matches and congratulate Palms Sports Bar A, who beat Ourplace Naturals 5-3. The result means that Palms have recorded the perfect season: Played 28, Drawn 0, Lost 0, Won 28. Quite amazing! Elsewhere, Bar 180 B enjoyed a 5-3 victory over Rood. Tonight (Friday), all players have the chance of some individual glory as we do battle at Nauta Bar in the Memorial Trophy. This singles knockout competition raises money for charity and is always a great evening. There will also be a ladies-only contest and divisional events. and you can pre-register to

1-7 4-4

The Pub La Central

PREMIER LEAGUE TABLE

Table 1 Xtreme Sports Bar DIVISION 1 TABLE 2 Bar 180 A 3 The Pub 4 Target Army 5 Phoenix Bar 6 La Central

P W 21 17 21 14 21 6 21 5 21 4 21 3

D L F 2 2 113 3 4 100 7 8 78 4 12 73 6 11 67 6 12 72

A 55 68 90 95 101 96

+- PTS 58 53 32 45 -12 25 -22 19 -34 18 -24 15

DIVISION 1 RESULTS Bar 180 B Gaffers A Ourplace Naturals Palms Sports Bar A Rood Summerland Hopefuls Vikings Ensecan

2-6 3-5 6-2 6-2 5-3 3-5 4-4

Scruffy Macs Target Titans Naughty Nautas Sundowners Ourplace Playboys Cozy warriors Marilyns

DIVISION 1 TABLE

Table 1 Palms Sports Bar A 2 Ourplace Naturals 3 Ourplace Playboys 4 Target Titans 5 Rood 6 Sundowners 7 Scruffy Macs 8 Gaffers A 9 Vikings Ensecan 10 Bar 180 B 11 Summerland Hopefulls 12 Cozy Warriors 13 Barracuda Bytes 14 Naughty Nautas 15 Marilyns

P 28 28 28 28 28 27 28 27 28 28 28 28 28 28 28

W 28 21 16 16 15 13 11 12 9 8 9 7 6 5 1

D 0 2 6 6 5 5 8 2 7 5 2 6 2 3 5

L 0 5 6 6 8 9 9 13 12 15 17 15 20 20 22

F 182 158 127 127 123 115 115 111 98 91 86 97 84 88 70

A 42 66 97 97 101 101 109 105 126 133 138 127 140 136 154

+- PTS 140 84 92 65 30 54 30 54 22 50 14 44 6 41 6 38 -28 34 -42 29 -52 29 -30 27 -56 20 -48 18 -84 8

DIVISION 2 RESULTS Bar Amistad 1 Phoenix Flames Barracuda Hunters Chipeque Pool Bar Emerald Lounge La Central B Sundowners 2

2-6 8-0 4-4 6-2 6-2 2-6 6-2

Gaffers B Bar Amistad 2 Ourplace Playgirls The Rebels La Caña Lancers Trap Door Palms Sports Bar B

DIVISION 2 TABLE

Table 1 Bar 180 C 2 Emerald Lounge 3 Chipeque Pool Bar 4 La Caña Lancers 5 Gaffers B 6 Bar Amistad 1 7 Trap Door 8 La Central B 9 Palms Sports Bar B 10 Sundowners 2 11 Barracuda Hunters 12 Ourplace Playgirls 13 The Rebels 14 Phoenix Flames 15 Bar Amistad 2

P 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28

W D L F A +- PTS 23 4 1 163 61 102 73 22 5 1 161 63 98 71 22 3 3 158 66 92 69 14 9 5 131 93 38 51 14 7 7 132 92 40 49 12 7 9 123 101 22 43 12 5 11 119 105 14 41 9 6 13 111 113 -2 33 7 10 11 100 124 -24 31 8 6 14 88 136 -48 30 7 7 14 93 131 -38 28 6 6 16 91 133 -42 24 4 6 18 94 130 -36 18 3 6 19 72 152 -80 15 2 3 23 44 180 -136 9

play, or simply turn up on the evening. But you should be at the venue for 7.30pm. The final of each section will be played on stage on Presentation Night at Showtime, Las

Americas, on Friday, 5th April. You must book for the evening in advance, with names and numbers, and you can do so by e-mailing chris@oasisfm.com

Page 47

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Puzzle Page

Prize Sudoku

The rules of sudoku X are simple - just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

7 3

Fill in the sudoku X and add up the numbers in the blue shaded boxes. Email your answer to info@canarian weekly.com before Wednesday 27th March 2013 and you could win!

Winner: Clive Bambury

8 8

1 8

6 8

3 8

1 8

9 4

-17

squared

-31 ÷11

Answer

+52 x2 INTERMEDIATE

÷9

+61 ÷3

x5 +71

-2

-99

3/4 of this

Answer

5/11 of this

ADVANCED

1 6

10 +56 ÷3

4 6

3 5

4 5

Starter Number

3 8

Starter Number

You have until the 19th April to pick up and use your prizes from the Canarian Weekly offices in Las Chafiras.

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds. Good Luck!

BEGINNER

WIN!!! SHOWTIME TICKETS FOR THE SOUND OF MUSICALS.

Answer from Edition 795 (15/03/2013) was: 44

30-Second Brain Training

Starter Number

÷9 +271

3/4 of this 7

-153 ÷2 +59 x3 -132 x4

Answer

Wordsearch Who are we? Find thes words: All star Always Black velvet Carnival Come undone Do anything Every heartbeat Freak me Glycerine Hazard Heartbreaker Hey lover Hole hearted I wish Iesha Invisible man Joyride Jump Lithium Loser Macarena Mmmbop Move this Mr. Wendal My all Never ever Only you Push Rhythm nation Roam Romantic

Run away Rush rush Scar tissue Sensitivity Shoop Someday Summertime Tennessee Tha crossroads The one Tom's diner Torn Vogue Wicked game Wonder You learn

Last Issue's Answers: Brain Training: Beginner: 56 Intermediate: 7 Advanced: 99 Who are we?: Simon Cowell, Madonna, Tiger Woods Sudoku:

Sudoku X: 1

Page 48

Can you guess the 3 famous faces that have been put together to make the face above. 1_______________________ 2_______________________ 3_______________________

22nd March - 28th March 2013

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22nd March - 28th March 2013

Page 49

Free Ads

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aluminum. 4m. braced footing. Can be used as trestle. Domestic use only, 95 euros. Tel: 922 176 259

Free Adverts

Chest fridge 80 x 65 x 88cm, vgc, 120 euros. Luxury cream leather sofas, vgc, cost 1,980 euros new, now: 2-seater 275 euros, 3-seater 375 euros. 3 cream luxury wicker living room/dining room wall units. Bottom part doors and drawers, top part glass doors with shelves, like new, 2 units 170 x 40 x 205cm, 175 euros each. 1 unit 90 x 40 x 195cm, 125 euros. Tel: 693 974 049. Me to U pink hoodie, 4-5yrs, 5 euros. Red skinny jeans, 18-24mths, 5 euros. Dog baby toy, lots of different feely bits, new, 5 euros. Finding Nemo magnetics, 7 euros. Fairy shoe house and tree house with fairies, makes sounds, 15 euros. Dog shape rucksack, hardly used, 7 euros. Musical dance/play mat, double sided, a different theme on each side, 10 euros. 18 x candle holders and trays, 20 euros. Tel: 637 206 026. Mixed set of golf clubs and bag, perfect for a beginner, 25 euros. Second-hand addidas golf shoes, size 11, good condition, 40 euros. Tel: 647 997 488 Top loader washing machine Otsein (Hoover) 18mths old, 100 euros. 2 recliner, top-quality leather cream armchairs, 175 euros each. 2 bedside cabinets, 20 euros (for both). 2 unopened 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzles, 10 euros. Blenders, toaster, kettle and kitchen items, 25 euros (job lot). Solid honey pine 2-drawer, 2-cupboard unit (90cm wide), 25 euros. Honey pine unit ideal for TV (100cm wide), 20 euros. 2 single bed bases, 20 euros (for both). Tel: 634 316 063 Paint sprayer, Wagner perfect W665, 50 euros. Many tools, from 1 euro to 15 euros. Electric orthopaedic bed, removable metal sides, 200 euros ono. Tel: 922 770 254 or 690 247 733 Bird cage, excellent condition 1,100cm x 500cm x 500cm, 60 euros. Commercial mincer, 140 euros. Portable air-con unit, 12 euro. Semi-acoustic guitar, black, mint condition, 70 euros. Gent’s aluminum frame mountain bike, brand-new disc brakes, 200 euros. Ladies aluminum frame mountain bike, good condition, 100 euros. Portable massage bed, 140 euros. Mini disc player, 50 euros. Tel: 634 373 879 Real Madrid complete single duvet set, brand new, 20 euros. PS2 games, many titles, 5 euros each or 2 for 8 euros. Pizza oven, small, upright industrial, vgc, 100 euros. Tel: 685 771 763. Samsung 40 inch LED 3D Smart TV with WI-FI, as new. (UE D40 6500) with warranty. 2 Samsung 3D Active glasses included. Price in shop now, 600 euros. Selling for 500 euros. Genuine reason for sale. Callao Salvaje. Tel: 679 088 455 Blaupunkt Kingston MP35 car stereo, as new, English manual, MP3, CD, RDS, Full-colour, detachable display, 45 euros. Tel: 669 604 526. Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. 4-ring electric hob, 25 euros. Radio alarm clock, 25 euros. DVDs, 2 euros each. Steam iron, 10 euros. Hair-drier, coffee-maker, 20 euros. Toaster, 10 euros. Juicer, 10 euros. Blender, 14 euros. Bagless vacuum cleaner, 30 euros. 2200 watt vacuum cleaner, 35 euros. Computer speakers, 15 euros. Laptop briefcase, 15 euros. Radio CD player, 20 euros. Amplifier, 150 euros. Exercise bike, 60 euros. Suitcase, 35 euros. Parasol, 10 euros. Fishing rod & reel, 60 euros. Tel: 632 483 344. Halogen oven with lots of accessories and recipe book. Perfect for small apartment with no oven (sits on worktop), 30 euros, or will swap for good quality cordless kettle and/or good quality 4-slice toaster. Collect Los Cristianos. Tel: 667 390 261 Sealey hydraulic body frame repair kit RE83/4 super snap 4-ton kit in original metal box, 110 euros. Double extension ladders,

Sony Digital Camera, 30 euros. New TV-satellite adapter box, 20 euros. Fan with timer, 15 euros. Light-purple sequin evening dress (36/38), 100 euros. Mix of original old-school CDs, all 30 euros. New like summer cloth (shirts dresses), 10 euros each, African wooden art pictures/mask, all 40 euros. Brown ceramic vase (50 cm), 20 euros. Designer shelf (55cm), 20 euros. 3-piece bathroom toiletries set, 10 euros. 2 stylish lady business suits (38/40), 50 euros. Tel 605 414 052. TDT with remote, 15 euros. Ceiling fan with lamp, 25 euros. Camping gas, 20 euros. DVD player/video recorder combo remote, 45 euros. DVD player, 15 euros. VCR player, 20 euros. Microwave, 20 euros. Butane gas bottle, 35 euros each. Two orange juicers, 10 euros each. Deep-fat fryer, 15 euros. VCR player, 20 euros, Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. Tel: 632 526 710. DVD player, 25 euros. VCR player, 10 euros. Foot-bath massager, 20 euros. Microwave, 15 euros. Vacuum cleaner, 20 euros. 21in TV, 30 euros. Mini oven, 20 euros. Electric hob, 4 rings, 65 euros. Radio alarm clock, 25 euros. DVDs, 2 euros each. Steam iron, 10 euros. Hair-drier, coffee-maker, 20 euros. Toaster, 10 euros. Tel: 686 336 904.

BARGAIN OF THE WEEK 10L fryer, 95 euros. Tel: 637 206 026

phone white (walkman) new battery in the box with Movistar pay-as-you-go sim, 40 euros. Brother electric typewriter AX100 in the box as new, bought this year, used 3 times, with spare ribbon, cost 100 euros, bargain 45 euros. Binatone big-button sim-free mobile phone, flashing call light, panic button, manual lock switch and charging dock, White, 35 euros. Pine square-sided table, 20 euros. Modern china cabinet, high-quality wood and glass dome top with light, excellent condition size H 221(7Ft) W88(35in) D 40 (16in), 125 euros. Playstation 1 with controller and memory card with 4 games excellent condition, 20 euros. Callao Salvaje. Tel. 922 742 257 or 661 084 981 Chicco baby intercom boxed, 25 euros. Silencio. Tel: 629 570 945. Pedestal hand-basin for bathroom etc, white. Good condition, 30 euros for quick sale. (chrome tap included). Golf del Sur. Tel: 699 125 111. Minimally-used bundle of bedding - all for single beds - 2 fitted, 2 flat sheets & 4 pillow cases/Egyptian cotton/ivory, 15 euros. 2 fitted, 2 flat sheets & 4 pillow cases/cotton mix/white, 15 euros. 2 pillow protectors, 5 euros. 4 flat white sheets/cotton, 10 euros. 2 top covers/light blue/lemon/made to go round iron legs (1 needs hemming), 30 euros. 2 x pale yellow Marks & Spencer’s king-size valances (not valance sheets), 20 euros. 1 pair of new cushion covers - cream/green design, 5 euros, or take all for 50 euros. Los Cristianos - must collect - call between 10am-6pm. Tel: 922 794 409. Electric patio heater, 2-ring 3 settings, 60 euros. Top-loader Whirlpool washing machine, fantastic condition, 100 euros. Tel: 617 454 787. Videogame, Nintendo DS, with all accessories, new, 55 euros. Adeje. Tel: 671 149 870.

Gents Raleigh lightweight mountain bike. 21-speed. Reynolds tubing. Suntour equipment, 160 euros. Large comfy armchair, blue design, 20 euros. Tel: 600 700 521.

Tap for Lavabo on the top, high model, design and quality, Zucchetti, 21 euros. Taps for bath-shower, built in, Zucchetti design, 21 euros. Adeje. Tel: 671 149 870.

Circular portable swimming pool, 3 metre x 3/4 metre deep, complete with cover, filter and instructions, 65 euros. Computer tower for spares or repair, Pentium 4, 80 GB HDD, CD writer and CD player, 35 euros. Exercise roll bar with attached mat, 5 euros. Boy’s bike to 12 years old, six gears, front and rear suspension, 35 euros. Collectors Items, Wedgewood “Garden Maze”, 5 Dinner plate, 6 Salad plates, 6 Cups, 5 saucers, Bargain, 45 euros. Patio square table and four chairs, plastic seat and backs with metal legs, 20 euros. Computer chair good condition, 20 euros. Push chair with hood and apron, folds flat, 15 euros. Sky box remote, 5 euros. Samsung HT-X625 Home cinema 6 speaker system, no remote, 65 euros. Silencio. Tel. 629 570 945.

Deep-fat fryer, Ufesa, good condition, 15 euros. Small table/ bedside lamp, with orange pottery base and blue shade, 5 euros. Small table/bedside lamp, glass and chrome, with blue glass shade, 5 euros. Costa del Silencio. Tel: 634 361 497.

Clarke heavy-duty floor scrubbing, polishing machine, 30 euros. Clarke heavy-duty carpet-cleaning machine, 25 euros. Clarke heavy duty commercial vacuum cleaner for wet or dry, ideal for workshops, suction and extraction, 50 euros. 3 pairs triboard swimming flippers, 2 euros each. 2 brand-new adult penguin suits, 5 euros each. Barbie Volkswagen car and 2 Barbies, 6 euros. Polly Pocket catwalk and 4 Polly Pocket dolls, 6 euros. Toy fairy castle and figures, 4 euros. Selection children’s books, 1 euro each. Dr Who DVDs and books, 1 euro each. Wilson tennis racquet, 4 euros. Pixel chick hand-held console, 3 euros. 30 books various titles, 10 euros. 20 items girls’ clothes age10-12, 1 euro each item or 15 euros for all. Men’s clothes T-shirts, shorts etc. 15 items, 1 euro each. 4 pairs shoes brand-new size 5 and 6, 2.50 euros each. Girls grey suede pixie boots size 5 , 2 euros. 2 pairs trainers, girls, size 5, 4 pairs shoes, sandals, size 5, 2 euros each. Ladies clothes, 20 items, size 10 and 12, 1 euro each. Tel. 636 563 051. Tall book case with drawer [Next Hudson range], 120 euros and matching TV unit, 70 euros. Metal bed frame with mattress, 150 x190cm, 150 euros. Black metal headboard, 45 euros. Round extendable pine table with 4 chairs, 140 euros. Tel: 922 748 346 or 610 352 448. Toshiba net book 120gig hard drive 1gig ram Intel Atom windows XP in English, new high-power battery UK model in excellent condition, 125 euros. Wii Game Bully Scholarship edition complete English version (unwanted gift), 10 euros. Sony Ericsson Spiro slide

2-Seat light-blue sofa, 60 euros. Ladies clothes, size 10, 30 items, 30 euros. Powder-blue Jacques Vert outfit, skirt, top jacket, worn once, size 12, 40 euros. 19in TV, 10 euros, no remote. Glass table tops polished edges, 68cm x 59½cm 11 of, 67cm x 67cm 3 of, 66cm x 61cm 1 of, 62cm x 64cm 1 of, 7 euros each or all for 50 euros. Satellite dish mounting bracket, 8 euros. 3D jigsaw, Tower Bridge, 15 euros. Sony CD player, 45 euros. Small toastie-maker, hardly used, 10 euros. Desktop fan, 10 euros. Fanabe. Tel: 628 824 564. Baby-stroller Brevi, lightweight suit, 6mths to 3/4years, with shade & shopping net, black & silver. 25 euros. Lean, mean grilling machine with bread warmer like the George Forman model, 25 euros. Braun cordless hair curlers with 6 new cartridges, new con, 25 euros. Brass (trumpet) cornet ideal for child learning in school with music book and original carry case, 85 euros. TV free-to-air digital satellite receiver box for extra channels off a dish system SRT 4155, 20 euros. 1 pair of pale-pink heavy satin, patio door curtains new con, 30 euros. Keyboard Logitech, 10 euros ono. Electric ceramic hob 4-ring black (Nadoor make) can only be used with oven with control knobs, 45 euros ono. Los Cristianos. Tel: 699 199 392 or 922 794 790. Men’s trail bike Triban 7, Decathlon conception range, aluminium frame, 24-speed Acera Shimano gears & Promax V brakes, as new, 125 euros. Golf del Sur. Tel: 680 300 732. Hartman, plastic white oval patio table, 140cm x 90cm, vgc, 25 euros. Tel: 922 797 888. Over 400 quality boot-sale items, ladies, gents & kids’ clothes, toys & books, 200 euros ono. Tel: 625 210 849. Set of Donnay Evolution 2 golf clubs 7 irons,3 woods putter and bag, 50 euros. Set of LH golf clubs 7 irons, putter and bag, 30 euros. Silencio. Tel: 629 570 945.

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 / FAX 902 232 102 / Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop). Deadline for Free ads has changed to Tuesdays at 4pm Page 50

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Classified PROPERTY FOR RENT (CONT.)

Classified

CARS/BIKES 1997 BMW 328i convertible, English plates, 4,000 euros call 674 255918

Torviscas, 1 bed apartments Available from 500€ 1 bed in San Eugenio, On the sea front, parking, 550€ incl bills Los Cristianos, 3 bed central location, 650€ incl bills 1 bed, Garajonay San Eugenio Bajo, Fantastic location, 650€ incl bills

2010 Harley Davidson Rocker C, 240 back end, lots of extras, quick sale as leaving island. Call 628 135 244.

CARS/BIKES

Callao Salvaje, 1 Bed Apartment, Refurbished & spacious in a quiet location, 450€ incl bills 4 bed Villa with Pool and Garden in El Madronal, Fanabe, 1500€ Chayofa, 2 & 4 bedroomed villas With private pools from 1150€ Many more properties available, apartments, villas & Fincas

LAND FOR SALE

Piece of urban land for sale in Cabo Blanco, over 1,000 m2, originally paid 90,000 Euros, quick sale as leaving island 35,000 Euros. Call 628 135 244 PROPERTY FOR SALE

Ocean Ridge, Amarilla Golf, furnished 2 bed, 2 bath bungalow having a spacious 85m2 interior and 25m2 exterior. Fully refurbished. Community heated pool and community satellite TV. 220,000 euros. Tel: 636 079 347

Property

PROPERTY FOR RENT Altamira, Bahia del Duque. Large two bedroom, two bath apartment renovated to a high standard with all mod-cons and air conditioning. Available from 10th April 2013 to 1st September 2013. Tel: 639 385 271 or 0044 781 626 89 82. Email: jimfe@hotmail.com Long let, 3 bedroom villa in El Madronal next to school, 1 en suite, family bathroom & WC. Large lounge, separate kitchen, private parking, low maintenance garden, heated pool, 1,600 Euros per month plus bills, call 660 946 170 or 697 280 399

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Local in Pueblo Primavera in Golf del Sur, overlooking pool, 35m2, suitable for management company or suchlike, bargain price of 18,000 Euros Freehold, call 628 135 244

To advertise your business or property in our classified section call 902 232 102 or email classified@ canarianweekly.com

PROPERTY FOR SALE Lockup garage (4 spaces) Golf del sur. Underground garage parking spaces, Golf del sur. Storage warehouse . Golf del sur. Poolside cafe/bar, Golf del sur.

Tel 637 819 680

CARS WANTED CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 629 128 667 JOBS Opportunity to work full or part time in the fast growing industry of wellness. Apply to www.expandworld.com or Tel: 628 567 286 Suncare Central are now recruiting for the forthcoming season and require English only speakers. Also people with English, German and Spanish. Own transport essential. Contracts provided along with great working conditions and earning potential. Call Craig on 651 172 738

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JOBS (CONT.)

BLINDS

COMPUTERS (CONT.)

Established Marketing Company in south Tenerife is expanding and looking for Bulgarian, Romanian, Croatian, Slovenian, Polish, Czech and Slovak with some spoken English or Spanishâ&#x20AC;Śwe are looking for self motivated people who enjoy working as a team. Basic wage and high commissions paid. Hours 9.30 to 5.00 Monday to Friday. Please send C.V. to suecampbell@regencyresorts.com or call sue on 922 713 070

CCTV, wifi, hotspots, networks, ADSL, internet kiosks, till and touch screens, biz support + IT, apple, hosting, repairs, audio/ video, karaoke, free quotes, fully qualified, call Intech 608 186 642 / 922 775 378 / info@intechnetworks.es

CONSTRUCTION

Full time stylists and nail technicians required for Robot Salon in Los Cristianos. Terms and conditions negotiable. For more information contact Carl on 922 789 058.

CARS

Cars to Rent Long & Short Term From 270 euros per month including Insurance. Phone Mags on 600 882 722 or email magsbehan@gmail.com CHIROPODIST Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBCHA, serving the community from El Medano to Los Gigantes for 13 years. Telephone 608 029 790

WANTED Patio Table, slim oblong shape, telephone 619 518 806.

CLEANING

Service Point

AIR-CONDITIONING

Spotless Cleaning Service Apartments, offices, houses, bars, one offs or regular cleans. Call Jennie on 676 885 440 or Sharon on 616 128 668 for a quotation today. CLEANING

CLUBS & SOCIETIES An opportunity to meet and socialise at the CastaĂąuelas restaurant, seafront, Los Cristianos, near the Sunday market. Every Wednesday at 7.30pm. To reserve your place call Nancy on 655 679 033

COMPUTERS

TELEPHONE: 902 811 069 E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

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info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

22nd March - 28th March 2013

www.canarianweekly.com DRAINAGE

Service Point LAWYERS

PERSONAL SERVICES (CONT.) Meliza, good looking Latin girl in Los Cristianos, great curves, big breasts, kisses, French, toys, in front of Hotel Aguamar, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, speaks a little English, call 628 895 416.

ELECTRICIAN

Yeni, Venezuelan girl in Los Cristianos, natural big breasts, kisses, cuddles, different positions, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, speaks a little English. Call 610 359 991

MECHANICS

Mar, a loving Mexican girls in Los Cristianos, complacent, natural French, kisses, massage & much more, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, in front of the Hotel Aguamar. Call 660 938 631.

GARDEN FURNITURE

Emilie a 36 year old gorgeous sensual Scandinavian Blond, blue eyes, experienced, sexy & willing, large breasts & firm round bottom, tight body, voluptuous, will visit for an hour or longer. Call 672 529 426 Blond, attractive, sexy 40 year old in Las Americas, sympathetic, massage & more, call 660 618 331 Young beautiful escort would like to visit discrete gentleman for sexy time. French, english , spanish and german spoken. (0034) 603 111 478 hello baby!!!

INSURANCE PATIO DOORS & WINDOWS

ALUMINIUM & PVC

VISIT OUR SHOWROOM in Granadilla! Call for directions

Tel: 922 778 050 Fax 922 778 051

Mobile 696 889 048

Email: celjucanarias@celjucanarias.es

www.celjucanarias.es

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

Specialists in security shutters and blinds, locks security glass and grills. QUALIFIED FITTERS AND FULL GUARANTEES Free no obligation survey & quotation. We speak English & German!

Colin Taylor â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing etc. (e.g. complete bathroom & kitchen refurbishments, including all materials & labour from under 2000 euros) Tel 661 081 843 for quotation.

IÂ´m your most exciting dream. Super sexy hot young beauty. Lovely slim Body, gorgeous curves all for your needs and pleasures,. (0034) 690 900 739 New in Las Galletas! 3 girls, Dutch, Cuban & Brazilian will make your dreams come true, call us now on 669 738 298 Erica, attractive, loving Brazilian in Los Cristianos, kisses, cuddles, massage, Natural French, toys, complete Greek, in front of Hotel Aguamar, call 655 784 373. New in the South, Maria, an attractive Spanish girl, 40, loving, very professional, serious, Natural French, Greek etc, private apartment, photo in guiasexcanarias call 652 011 005. Veronica, a loving Columbian girl in Los Cristianos, in front of the Hotel Aguamar, call 20 minutes before, check out www. sexocanario.com or www.sexocanario.es call 654 091101. 3 Latin friends in Los Cristianos, good bodies, massage, all services, 24 hours, hotel-home visits, call 638 266 579.

PETS Pet Hotel Linde. Short breaks and holiday care for your pet. Pick up and return service. www.pethotellinde.com. Call 922 530 347

PLUMBING

PERSONAL SERVICES A dark good looking athletic Latin male, hot stuff, massage, South Tenerife, call 626 691 089.

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www.canarianweekly.com PLUMBING (CONT.)

SECOND-HAND SHOPS (CONT.)

TRANSLATION (CONT.)

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

POOL TABLES

SECURITY

REMOVALS UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

TV AND SATELLITE

ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

REPAIRS

WINDOWS SECURITY

SECOND-HAND FURNITURE

TILING

Colin Peel SECOND-HAND SHOPS

Furniture & Household Items bought for cash Immediate decisions

Phone Freddie 609 303 634 Rotations, call Gary on 922 790 822 or 662 496 422, closed every other Saturday.

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Tiling Specialist

For All Your Tiling Needs: Bathrooms, Kitchens & Floors Most Aspects of Building Work Undertaken

Tel: 679 736 409 TRANSLATION TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES Over 20 years experience. Official Translations, Medical, Conveyancing, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Insurances, Building licences Etc.. Transport available if required. Professionalism & Confidentiality guaranteed.

For these and many more call Tracey on 666 857 991 info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

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22nd March - 28th March 2013

Information Page

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