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Parents and grandfather stabbed to death in Guaza
SON ADMITS TO KILLING HIS FAMILY
Issue 1048 30th March - 5th April 2018
AN air of disbelief has been hanging over the Arona town of Guaza during the past week, following the horrific, triple murders of a family in the area, last Friday. Continued on Page 3
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Son slaughters his family Continued from Front Ricardo Ortego, 23, who killed his mother, father and grandfather by stabbing them repeatedly, eventually confessed to the unthinkable crimes, after being questioned by Guardia Civil officers in the early hours of that morning. He was adopted by the family as a seven-yearold in Venezuela, and, in later years, became a huge drug addict. He admitted being high at the time of the murders, and he was arrested, several hours after making an initial phone call to Local Police. He told them he had only just found the tragic trio, dead at their family home, situated on a Guaza banana plantation, in the Arona municipality. Police passed the case on to the Guardia Civil at around 5.20am on the Friday, and Ricardo was held in custody, because he was the only witness. But while he was recounting his make-believe details of how he discovered the family, he suddenly broke down in front of Guardia officers and admitted the murders, actually providing them with a descriptive account. Initial reports said he had fled the scene, but these were incorrect. When officers entered the family home, they found grandfather Luciano, an 80-year-old pensioner, dead on the top floor of the house. The murderer’s other two targets, his mother, Carmen, a local schoolteacher, and his father, Antonio, a 68-year-old farmer, were found in their ground-floor bedroom. All three victims, who moved here from La Palma several years ago, along with Ricardo, showed obvious signs of being attacked
violently, with multiple stab wounds all over their bodies. Local residents and neighbours considered the dead people as being “muchloved”, while Ricardo was said to be a normal young man, with a quiet nature. He didn’t mix much with people, and neighbours only caught sight of him when he
was out walking his dogs. Yet he is believed to have been searching the internet since last December, for ideas regarding, how he could kill the family. In the end, he slaughtered all three with a bread knife, which had a 30cm blade. Over the years, there had been family discussions about Ricardo’s drug-
taking, and, in the end, it seems, his huge consumption of narcotics, together with a heated altercation with his mum, pushed him over the edge. But sources close to the case have commented on how calm Ricardo remained with the police, and how well he had collaborated with them, once he had
confessed to the crime. He also told them about the drugs he had consumed before killing the family. Ricardo said he attacked them in the early hours because they would have been asleep. They would have had no idea who was behind the assault, he added, because he killed them in the dark, and never uttered a word throughout the violence. However, that did not convince the police, and evidence showed that the grandfather and mother were both stabbed, fatally, in the neck. And the poor father suffered several cuts to the chest, as a result of what appeared to have been an angry attack. As we went to press last night (Thursday), a Guardia Civil search for the murder weapon had proved fruitless, even though Ricardo told them he threw it away in a nearby bin. There is no doubt that his savagery had been planned for some time. Ricardo had mental issues, while his drug addiction is thought to have deranged his mind, leading to the fantasies he had about killing his family. For all those problems, though, Ricardo was not thought to have been offered a medical referral. Since admitting the horrific crime, he was in the custody of the Guardia Civil. But, on Tuesday night, he was transferred to the Tenerife II Penitentiary Centre, where he will remain until the court hearing, which is expected to take place within two years. Meanwhile, Arona Town Hall declared a two-day mourning period, from midnight on Monday this week, until midnight on Wednesday, in respect of the murdered trio.
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Ex-Catalan leader’s tremors fate in the balance Island
THE Spanish Government, after months of political turmoil in Catalonia, is hoping for a clear victory, at last, over the region’s separatists. But MPs will hope it is in a courtroom this time, with the trial of top separatist leader Carles Puigdemont, who was arrested last Sunday in Germany, on a warrant issued in Madrid, after appearing at a Geneva conference. But should Puigdemont be returned to Spain, a highly-publicised trial could backfire on the government by galvanising the separatist movement, as well as prolonging a dispute that threatens Spain’s cohesion. Since 2012, governing politicians in Madrid and Barcelona have talked past each other rather than negotiating, allowing a dispute which, initially, focused on Catalan demands for better tax treatment, to spiral into a secessionist challenge.
Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has insisted on treating the dispute as a law-enforcement problem, rather than a political one, mostly. Spanish courts declared Catalonia’s independence referendum last year illegal, and the central government’s heavy-handed attempts to block the vote simply angered Catalonia habitants. Last Friday, Pablo Llarena, a Spanish Supreme Court judge, ordered the arrest of five separatist politicians, and reactivated an international arrest war-
rant against Puigdemont, a former Catalonia President, and five other politicians, who had fled Spain to avoid prosecution. The Spanish authorities have accused Sn. Puigdemont of rebellion and misuse of public funds, and a German regional court will decide within 60 days whether to send him back to face trial. But if the court chooses to extradite him only for the corruption charge, that would create a political and legal bind for the Spanish Government, which would
be barred from trying him for rebellion, which is the main charge. “Spain is creating a situation where Europe’s judges, rather than its politicians, are being asked to solve Catalonia,” said Sergi Pardos-Prado, a professor of politics at Oxford University. “At a time when the European Union needs more legitimacy, and to reconnect with its citizens, how can this not make it seem like a distant and technocratic project?” Gonzalo Boye, a lawyer who represents two of the politicians wanted by Spain, told the Spanish news media on Monday that he was confident a foreign judge would not allow his clients to stand trial for rebellion. Since late October 2017, Puigdemont had been based in Belgium, where the European Union is headquartered. While Belgium never considered him a flight risk, a German judge has ordered that he should, provisionally, be kept in prison for that very reason.
Drug-friendly mob stop cops’ bid to nab driver THE arrest of a drugtrafficker was prevented on Sunday by more than 200 people, who swarmed police officers after their highspeed chase. The suspect fled, leaving his vehicle, and, with it, 510kgs of hashish, in La Linea de la Concepcion, on Spain’s frontier with Gibraltar. National Police officers attempted to hunt him down in the San Bernardo neighbourhood, but they were confronted by a wave of at least 200 residents. And a so-called hit-man drove into the side of a police car, turning it over. The cops were forced to fire shots into the air to disperse the crowds, who attempted to assault the police, but the suspect escaped.
According to police notes, he left his SUV on Calle Ubrique de La Linea after a high-speed chase, in which he rammed several parked cars. And a so-called hitman failed to prevent a cop car from following the driver when his own vehicle turned over. The Campo de Gibraltar has received a spate of new security measures recently, in a bid to crack down on an increase of drug crimes. La Linea de la Concepcion, in particular, has been described as being over-run by drug gangs, with locals and police in the area demanding robust action. It is believed that as many as 3,000 people in the town work for crime bosses, and the demands follow the
actions of 20 masked thugs, who stormed a hospital and rescued their alleged trafficker boss, who was under arrest there. Last year alone, in La Linea, there was a 300% increase in cocaine seizures, as well as a 45% surge in hashish being found. The Spanish Government has been forced to tackle the problem by drafting in extra police, or run the risk of the area being “taken over” by drug lords. In fact, Spain’s police union has compared the area to Columbia, under Pablo Escobar. Under the new plan, the additional officers, sent to back up the Guardia Civil’s Rapid Response Group recently, will remain, while Customs authorities will receive more cops to help “take apart the economic network” of drug traffickers. Meanwhile, Spain will work with Morocco more closely to bring down the volume of hashish being smuggled into the Strait of Gibraltar. A Royal Decree to ban the narco boats, favoured by traffickers, will also be ready in weeks, according to Interior Minister Juan
Ignacio Zoido. “They will be confiscated wherever they are,” he insisted, during a meeting with La Línea locals. Policia Local, Guardia Civil and Customs Control will be granted “permanent reinforcements” in the most dangerous areas, like La Linea. But Zoido would not state the exact number of new officers, because he did not want to “tip off” the gangs. He added: “It is a complex situation. Security is vital and the message is very clear. The rule of law is in force in all of Andalucia, to reinstate peaceful co-existence.” The region will also receive 56m euros to help fund social programmes, such as employment initiatives, school canteens, educational infrastructure and three health centres. It is hoped this will help deter would-be gang recruits from a career in crime, and Junta boss Susana Díaz is confident the new plan will control the problem. “When individuals take on the state, the state always wins,” she warned. “And when all the administrations work as one, the people always win.”
MORE mini-tremors have been detected in the Canary Islands by the National Geographic Institute. Six seismic movements were recorded last Tuesday in the Tenerife municipalities of Guia de Isora and Vilaflor. But the tremors were slight, and could not be felt by the surrounding population. The smallest one registered 0.9 on the Richter scale, and the largest tremor 1.9. The depths registered were as shallow as three kilometres, and as deep as 21km. Another six movements were also registered, out at sea, between Gran Canaria and Tenerife.
Kidnapped youth is tortured as well A YOUNG man was freed by a kidnapper after 15 hours, having been held in a home on the Costa del Sol and tortured.
Police launched a raid on the Mijas property after a concerned person flagged up a video, which had appeared on social media. Footage showed a man, verbally and physically, abusing a younger person, who appeared to have a number of head injuries. A brief investigation revealed the identity of the attacker, who had previous police records, which led to an official raid on his home. As they arrived, they saw the culprit trying to escape through a window, wielding a knife. But when he saw the officers, he retreated and barricaded the doors. A tense stand-off ensued, before officers convinced him to release the victim, who, medics said, had “serious head and body injuries.” They added: “He was in shock and disorientated.” He was transferred to Marbella’s Comarcal Hospital for treatment, while police continued to speak with his assailant. After 30 minutes of talks, he was persuaded to surrender, and a series of videos, captured on his mobile phone, showed that a second man had been involved in the abduction. The men, one Spanish and the other Moroccan, have been charged with kidnapping, attempted murder and crimes against sexual freedom, said police.
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San Miguel grants for updating your homes SAN Miguel de Abona Council has more than 42,000 euros set aside in the pot towards grants, for people in the borough, keen to make structural changes to their property.
Residents can now apply for the grants, which are not only available for structural work, but also for work on gas and water projects. Most of the aid is funded by the Cabildo’s Island Housing Rehabilitation Programme. But those eager to benefit must justify a series of requirements set by the Council, one of which is that the grant money will be used on San Miguel properties! In addition, they must prove that they own no other properties, and that they do not have sufficient, economic recourses to do the work themselves. Also included under the grant fee are the costs for labour and materials necessary for the redevelop-
Endangered lemur, and so are the drugs A POLICE drugs unit was left puzzled after swooping on a gang, who smuggled cannabis from Spain to the Netherlands.
ments. “These grants are very important to the families in the community, because it allows them to undertake a series of reforms in their homes, creating better living
conditions,” said San Miguel Mayor Arturo E Gonzalez. He also stresses that Abona Council’s contribution was 4,279 euros, in addition to the 38,517 euros given by the Tenerife government.
Raids on properties in Malaga and Cordoba saw investigators seize more than 100kgs of marijuana and hashish… plus a ringtailed lemur, which is an endangered primate, native to Madagascar. It was, reportedly, living in the Benalmadena home of a
group of Dutch individuals, who bought the drugs from Spanish traffickers in Cordoba, and shipped them to their homeland. A probe launched last October led detectives to the ringleaders, with three men, aged between 19-35, remanded in custody. Vehicles and mobile phones were recovered during searches on the culprits’ homes, while the lemur has been passed to SEPRONA, the Guardia Civil’s wildlife crime unit.
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NEWS IN BRIEF Heart attack victim, at 45
Website allows banned drug book to be online A MAN aged 45 was in a critical condition on Sunday after suffering a massive heart attack at an Adeje sports centre in Los Pueblos. A call was made to the Canarian Emergency Services, reporting that a man had been found unconscious, “probably after fainting”, just before 10pm. When the ambulance team arrived, it became clear to them, rapidly, that he had suffered a heart attack. They began CPR immediately, and he regained consciousness. While stabilised, yet still critically ill, he was transferred to a local hospital, where he is undergoing treatment.
German swimmer still missing
THE search continued this week for a 53-year-old German holiday-maker, known as FH, who failed to return from his swim at El Charco del Palo, Lanzarote, last Wednesday evening. Arrecife’s Local Police assisted the search-and-rescue team on Sunday, with the use of their drones, for aerial surveillance. The drones began searching the area where FH went missing last Wednesday. The hunt has since spread to other areas along the coast, with the help of the Guardia Civil and firefighters. Recreational sailors have also been made aware of the German’s disappearance.
Walker rescued after fall
A MAN aged 62 was rescued on Monday afternoon after falling on a specific walking path, connecting Benijo with Chamorga, in Tenerife capital Santa Cruz. Fire-fighters, along with an ambulance, were dispatched to the area, and, upon arrival, medics ascertained that he had some bruising and minor injuries. But because of where he fell, the fire team had to put him on a stretcher and carry him to where the ambulance was waiting. He was then transferred to La Candelaria hospital for observation.
A NEW website enables people to read a banned book, about Spain’s underworld drug- smuggling, through the words of the classic Don Quixote.
A court in Madrid has banned Fariña, a non-fiction work about cocaine being shipped from Columbia to Spain. Sales of the book were halted after Jose Alfredo Bea Gondar, former Mayor of Galicia’s O Grove, brought libel proceedings against the publishers. But the Booksellers Guild of Madrid has since built a website, which includes a digital tool that searches
for, and locates, the 80,000 words that make up the forbidden manuscript from within the Don Quixote text. According to the Guild, the site had more than 30,000 hits after being online for just two days. Fernando Valverde, the Guild’s secretary, said those behind the site discovered that all the words in Fariña were featured, in some form, in Don Quixote. Those who made the site just had to find a way of placing the words in the same order as the book, and displaying them on the website so that people were able to read it. “It’s a metaphor for the fact that, in the digital era, you can seize a book, but you cannot gag words,” said Valverde.
Bea Gondar brought the case to the court because the book alleges that he was involved in the unloading and shipment of cocaine. It also alleges that he took part in negotiations between the Columbian Cali cartel and local smugglers. But Bea Gondar, interviewed on a TV channel, stressed: “It’s all completely false.” The former mayor was investigated and convicted of drug-smuggling. But his sentence was, subsequently, overturned by the Spanish Supreme Court after an appeal, which is stated in the latest edition of Fariña. The launch of the website comes as Amnesty International recently claimed that free expression in Spain was being stifled by the country’s legal code.
Blazing nuisance!
Canaries for Warner Bros
FUERTEVENTURA has been chosen by Warner Bros for the location of an exciting new production. Although the title of the film, the director, and leading actors are all a secret, Warner Bros says it is the company’s next big blockbuster. Casting has already started on the island for Egyptianlooking men and woman, between the ages of 20-60, and the film company is looking for women with athletic physiques to play warriors. Warner Bros needed a location with a desert-type landscape, hence Fuerteventura, and filming will start in the next few months. More recently, many scenes from the upcoming Hans Solo Star Wars story were filmed on the island.
A MAN burned down his own house in Spain in the early hours of last Friday, while his wife was asleep and trapped inside. But firefighters battled through flames to rescue
the 68-year-old woman from the central Spain property, in Guadalajara, Castilla-La Mancha. She was treated by paramedics at the scene, but did not need hospital treatment. The fire was eventually put out, almost two hours after the alarm was first raised. And, say the emergency
services, the man later committed suicide. Earlier that week, a father set fire to the family home in Getafe, in the south of Madrid, with his two children inside, after drowning them in a bath, initially. He then ended his own life by throwing himself under a train.
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Hunt for missing Mexican THE Guardia Civil
and National Police have begun searching for Hermes Hosarsiph, who was reported missing last Friday. The 36-year-old Mexican, last seen at San Cristobal in La Laguna, wearing a black T-shirt and jeans, weighs about 9½ stone, and has brown eyes and the same colour hair. National Police, along with the SOS Desaparecidos association, are asking for anyone who has seen him, or knows of his whereabouts, to call 642 650 775 or 649 952 957, or to e-mail sosdesaparecidos@ sosdesaparecidos.es.
Firemen’s heavyweight duty
TEN firefighters were called in to help transfer a man, weighing almost 50 stone (300kg kilos), to a hospital in Spain for an operation.
They had to use a special stretcher to move the morbidly-obese, 52-year-old, to Malaga’s Hospital Clinico, on the Costa del Sol. The transfer process was slow, given the man’s bulk… and the difficulty of squeezing him through doorways!
Star Wars’ Skywalker Luke fits the bill perfectly
Luke Skywalker the only one to open this space-age attraction ANYONE in Gibraltar on Tuesday evening might have thought they had been transported into a Star Wars film. That’s because Luke Skywalker (actor Mark Hamill) was in town, accompanied by Boogie Storm, the “dancing stormtroopers”. But everything became clear when he appeared in John Mackintosh Square. It was revealed that Mark would, officially, be opening Gibraltar’s latest attraction, the awe-inspiring Skywalk, the following morning. The Skywalk, a glassfloored walkway, 340m above sea level, is higher
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than London’s Shard building and has amazing views over three countries and two continents. It also projects 6.7m out from the Rock at its maximum point. The floor and protective balustrades comprise four layers of laminated glass, giving a total thickness of 4.2cm. The Skywalk, built on the foundations of an existing base structure from World War II, is designed to withstand wind speeds of up to 150km/hr. It is held secure by 70m of rock anchors and 30,000kg of steel, and can bear the weight of 340 people, although just 50 are authorised to use it at any time.
Fabian Picardo, Gibraltar’s Chief Minister, who was at the inauguration, couldn’t wait to try the Skywalk with his wife, Justine. “At the top of the Rock of Gibraltar, the Skywalk will serve as a stunning attraction for years to come,” he said. “And it is only fitting that Mr Hamill, best known as Luke Skywalker himself, should take the first steps.” Mark tweeted afterwards: “Why they would ever invite me to the opening of something called “#Skywalk” remains a mystery, but it was beyond thrilling to @visit_gibraltar! “Stunningly beautiful, marvellous Macaques, and tru-
ly friendly folks, who all got selfies, whether they wanted them or not.” Just before the inauguration, the Gibraltar authorities announced that entry to the Skywalk would be free of charge to everybody until 1st April. After that, it will be free for local residents, but there will be a charge for visitors. The Skywalk will be linked, by walking trails, to other popular attractions in Gibraltar, such as the Windsor Suspension Bridge and the Apes’ Den. It is open daily from 7am to 10pm, and further information can be obtained from the website www.skywalk.gi
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Crude bar-owner is arrested at last
THE man who owns the Cuadrilatero bar in the student area of Simpalabras, La Laguna, was arrested on Monday, following reports of his degrading manner towards female staff. National Police have remanded him in custody and are gathering more information, as they receive reports galore about his unacceptable behaviour. The man, military by profession, has been accused of sexual harassment, and, last week, it became common knowledge about what was to be expected from his female staff. National Police began investigating the bar-owner, after a woman filed a complaint for an alleged case of sexual harassment. And, because of the recent posts on social media, more women have come forward with their own descriptions of what had happened when they worked for him, even
during their interviews for the job. Splashed right across the social media is a warning: “In this establishment, women have no rights. They are subjected to being attacked, and they are sexually harassed and violated. Watch out!” His activities actually came to light when one waitress reported that she was requested, repeatedly, by several customers, to accompany them to the bathroom. Also, businessmen visited the bar, asking to “hire” a waitress. She also said that the owner asked her if she wouldn’t mind dancing on the bar. One former waitress said he would invite certain female members of staff to drink all night, once their shift had finished, in the hope of taking advantage of them. And if he discovered they had a partner, he would make their working life hell.
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255-euro island sells for staggering 18m! AN entire island, sold for the equivalent of 255 euros in 1932, has been bought by a Luxembourg family for 18m euros after being on the market for 18 months, with no takers. The island, S’Espalmador, is in the Balearics, but the regional government said it “could not afford it”, with no support from the Spanish Government. However, it is a protected nature reserve, and the new owners have been warned that they are prohibited from any type of construction under the law. It had been owned by Norman and Rosy Cinnamond, who inherited it from their British grandfather, Bernard Cinnamond, who purchased the miniparadise, originally, for just 42,500 pesetas from the Ibizan Carlos Tur (around 14,000 euros in today’s money). The three-kilometre-long island, which sits in the Ses Salines Natural Park, is spread over 137 hectares of land, and is just 800m wide. All swimming excursions
to the island have been stopped, and the popular mud-baths for tourists have been banned, in a bid to protect the area. Local authorities had tried to stop the sale, but the Balearic Government’s appeal for help to stump up the cash went unanswered by the national government. Councillor Pilar Costa said: “The owners told us they had an offer, so we addressed the deputy prime minister of the central government to ask for support for the purchase.
“We were told verbally that they would consider it, but they never answered us, and, in the end, the owners accepted the buyers’ offer.” The new Luxembourg owners are “well aware of the regulations of the island”, according to their representative, and there are already two small houses on the islet. “I am convinced they have bought it knowing what there is,” said Silvia Tur, a deputy for the Gent per Formentera party. “I don’t think anybody is that naïve.”
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Tenerife South airport promises cheap water
An abandoned dog and (inset, from left) Health Councillor Carlos Alcala, Triple A boss Jan Weiman and Mayor Angeles Muñoz
Fury, as council wants its abandoned animals killed FOLLOWING numerous complaints from airline passengers in Spain, management company AENA will force stores to reduce the prices of bottled water in all its airports. According to reports, the airport manager will ensure that all vending machines and convenience stores
provide small bottles of water for a maximum price of one euro. Shops will have to supply 33-centilitre bottles, whereas vending machines must stock half-litre bottles for the same price. Currently, 19 stores are following the rules in these seven airports: Tenerife South, Madrid-Barajas, Palma de Mallorca, Bilbao, Santiago, Vigo and GironaCosta Brava. And another 16 are in the process of changing their prices.
A COUNCIL decision to allow a private company to slaughter abandoned animals has sparked a public outcry. It follows Marbella City Hall’s invitation to bidders for a contract to manage abandoned animals. This includes the option to put down those not claimed or adopted, after 10 days, if they have not been identified. The move sent social media into meltdown, after animal
lovers shared the document in their hundreds. Local animal shelter Triple A, which takes in dogs, cats, ferrets, and Vietnamese potbellied pigs, condemned the proposal immediately, publishing a statement on its Facebook page, demanding the council to “reconsider whether to maintain the tender offer under the stated conditions, if certain aspects cannot be improved”. Opposition political groups also criticised the scheme, leading conservative Popular Party Mayor Angeles
Muñoz pledging to have the document withdrawn, after she appeared alongside Triple A chief Jan Weima for a photoshoot. Two days later, however, it remained online, with companies encouraged to submit their offers. An official from left-wing coalition Izquierda Unida claimed that the public appearance with Triple A was nothing more than “a smokescreen”, with which the council “tried to clean up its image”, as the social media backlash continued.
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30th March - 5th April 2018
No Open-Arms welcome for the ship’s migrants
Spain rejects nearly 70% of requests by asylum-seekers SOME two-thirds of all asylum applications submitted to Spanish authorities in 2017 were rejected, according to a refugee NGO. It was a record year in terms of requests, with Spain receiving around 31,120 applications. That was double the previous year’s number, say the Spanish Commission of Refugee Aid (CEAR) and European Union data. Requests for asylum to the country made up around 4% of the EU total. Applications to Germany, Italy and France were higher at 222,560, 128,850 and 98,635, respectively. Almost one-third of all applications, submitted to
ITALIAN authorities in Catania, Sicily, last week ordered the detention of the Spain’s Open Arms ship for promoting “illegal immigration and criminal association”, according to sources from the not-for-profit organisation. The order came after the vessel, run by the Catalan’s Proactiva Open Arms group, rescued 218 migrants, who were 70 miles off the coast of Libya. The ship, the only Spanish NGO that rescues migrants in the Mediterranean, was confiscated as a preventive measure in the port of Pozzallo. Catania’s public prosecutor accused the Open Arms group of seeking to “bring migrants to Italy”, and argued: “It violates the law and international agreements by not handing over the migrants to Libyan authorities.” Italian police appeared on the ship and demanded documentation from the captain, Marc Reig, and the head of the NGO’s mission, Anabel Montes. Both were “accompanied” that night to an Italian police station, according to a crew member from Open Arms. Oscar Camps, who founded Proactiva Open Arms, confirmed that the ship was being held “under preventive
detention” in the Sicilian port. According to online newspaper Europa Press, Camps told Catalonia Ràdio that he was surprised the POA was labelled a criminal group, saying that Italian authorities had presented them with documentation for signature, but they had refused because the text was in Italian. “We decided not to sign the document until it was translated,” he said. In a series of Twitter messages, Camps explained that the ship had been detained on charges of “criminal association, and encouraging illegal immigration by disobeying Libyans by not handing over women and children”. Proactive Open Arms and journalists, who took part in the voyage, accused the Libyan coastguards of making threats and stopping the majority of the immigrants from reaching the Spanish vessel. But Camps defended the group’s actions, stating that protecting human life should be the top priority of any body, civilian or military. Returning the migrants to the Libyan coastguards, he said, would be the “equivalent of a summary deportation,” which contravenes the UN Convention on the Status of Refugees. But in a press release, seen by Spanish news agency EFE, the Libyan maritime authority accused the NGO, and anyone who res-
cues migrants in Libya, of interfering in their operations and violating their maritime borders, even though the operation took place 25 miles outside their jurisdiction. The Open Arms ship was able to continue sailing, eventually, with 218 migrants on board, but it could not land them until last Saturday, because Libyan authorities refused to give them access to a port in which to dock. Human-rights groups have accused Libyan coastguard chiefs of working with human-traffickers, claiming former smugglers are even leading the coastguard patrols. Meanwhile, migrants arriving in Europe say that Libyan authorities send the people they rescue to detention centres and prisons in poor conditions, where abuse is committed, commonly. In the last two years, the beaches between Libyan capital Tripoli and the Tunisian border have become the main hot-spot for human-trafficking mafias, despite the presence of European patrols. According to data from the UN-associated International Organisation of Migration, more than 171,635 irregular migrants arrived in Europe in 2017, while 3,116 died at sea. In the first month of 2018 alone, more than 2,900 have reached European shores, while 318 have died in the attempt.
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Spain, came from Venezuelans (10,350). Requests from Syrian citizens stood at 4,225, followed by Colombians (2,460), Ukrainians (2,265), Palestinians and Algerians (both 1,165), Salvadorans (1,120), Hondurans (970), Cameroonians (750) and Moroccans (525). Requests from male applicants made up 58% of the total, while those from women came from 48%. Around 4,080 applicants were granted subsidiary protection status. They were not granted asylum, but they were allowed to stay in Spain because of their risk of facing serious harm if they returned to their home country. Total requests pending resolution now stands at 38,880.
Drunken company chief spat booze at cabin crew
A DRUNKEN British businesswoman, who spat on a flight attendant after being refused alcohol during a flight from Costa del Sol, has been fined.
Beverley Chapman must pay £800 (915 euros) after pleading guilty to behaving in a threatening, abusive, insulting or disorderly manner on the British Airways flight. Ms Chapman, director of a multi-national building company, told Crawley Magistrates Court that she was suffering from stress after splitting from her exgirlfriend, who later sued for a share of their 1.5m-euro home. The 45-year-old, from Chingford, in north-east London, tried to trip up a cabin-crew member after spitting her drink over the stewardess, when she was refused more alcohol for being too drunk, Crawley Magistrates Court heard. She had been visiting her mother in Malaga,
and, immediately, began to cause trouble as the flight took off, pressing the button repeatedly to call cabin crew, who were unable to leave their seats. Prosecutor Melanie Wotton said: “They already thought she was intoxicated when she boarded, and she continued ringing the bell and demanding more alcohol. This was refused because she was already so intoxicated. “Ms Chapman was seated by the aisle, and, as cabin crew went up and down, she put her leg out to try to trip them up.” The Prosecutor added: “The pilot left the cockpit to speak to Ms Chapman, and called ahead to Gatwick Airport to report that they needed assistance.” Lawyer Martin O’Rourke, defending, said: “She accepts her behaviour was unacceptable, and wishes to apologise to the crew members and the court.” Her behaviour was described as “really bad”, by Magistrate David Whitehead.
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Ten-year-old
corpse BUILDERS have found the body of a man, believed to have died more than a decade ago, “sandwiched” between two walls of a house in Valencia. The corpse was found by workers, who were carrying out renovations at the house, which has recently changed hands. The workmen, who found the clothed skeleton, informed the new homeowners, who contacted police about the macabre find. National Police officers are now investigating the discovery of the remains, which were taken to Valencia’s Institute of Legal Medicine, to try to determine the age and cause of death.
Druggie loses race but gains his freedom
A VILLAIN, wellknown to the police, was arrested early last Saturday during a routine patrol by two officers in Gran Canaria capital Las Palmas. They saw the 45-year-old man acting suspiciously as he stepped out of a taxi, and, after spotting them, he ran off. But the cops decided to give chase, and proved too fleet of foot for the runaway. Once they caught up with him, they identified him and then carried out a search. They discovered that he was wearing two pairs of trousers, and, inside the pockets, the cops found 1.6gms of cocaine, in five sealed bags, and then another three bags, holding 11.1gms of crack cocaine. Along with the drugs, the officers also discovered a sheet of paper with various names and numbers, hidden inside the pockets. When the police report was issued, the man went before a judge, who ordered his release, with charges.
30th March - 5th April 2018
Jerusalem comes to Adeje
IF you do nothing else this Easter, take time to visit Adeje this morning (Friday,) to witness the Adeje Passion Play, on the town’s main street. It starts at midday at the bottom of the Calle Grande, with the staging of “The Last Supper”. The performance will take you through the last days of Jesus Christ, his suffering, betrayal and crucifixion, in a street theatre now recognised nationally as the cultural reference point at this time of year. This street theatre, performed by local amateur actors and members of the public, turns the Calle Grande into Jerusalem at the time of Jesus Christ, with a market place, and complete with chariots, Roman soldiers and all those involved in the days of that era, which are still so important in the Christian calendar. Mary Magdalene, Our Lady, the Apostles and Pontius Pilate, are all present, and, of course, Jesus Christ himself, played by people from the borough. More than 300 members of the public have also been taking part in rehearsals over recent weeks, to be
involved in this emotive drama. The performance has grown in standing over the years, and, today, it is very much an essential part of Adeje Easter Week. But it has also become part of the borough’s tourism offer. To some, it might seem odd to use a religious event to promote tourism. But, here in Spain, religion is an integral part of the local culture, especially
at this time of year. And with the changing face of tourism, for many visitors encouraged to seek out the “real” Tenerife… the “real” Adeje, this is one of the must-see events. There is so much more to this island than sun, sea and sand. We have incredible landscapes, and Spain’s tallest mountain, Teide, which is also part of a volcanic range that formed these islands.
We also have an aboriginal history, Guanche kings, as well as mummified bodies, which were left in caves. And, combining that with the religion introduced by the conquistadores, Tenerife really does have a wealth of cultural tradition, history, patrimony and religion. In addition, councils such as Adeje work to make it attractive and easy for both residents of all nationalities, and visitors, to participate in that local culture. If you have planned to go to Adeje today, leave in time to find parking, wear comfortable shoes, and make sure you have sun protection, especially if you have children with you. Do follow the recommendations of the local security personnel, in place to ensure that everyone has a safe, enjoyable time. Be part of Easter Week in Adeje!
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30th March - 5th April 2018
Why cockroaches are so difficult to kill off
THEY are dreaded by everyone, especially here in Tenerife, and they thrive in the darkest, filthiest corners of all. Now, scientists have revealed why they are so hard to kill! Researchers, by studying their DNA, have identified specific genes, which enable them to do everything, from eating toxic food to regrowing lost limbs. Their genetic make-up means they are highly-resistant to disease, and capable of regrowing limbs. The cockroach, an all-devouring scavenger, is one of the largest insect species living so close to humans. Shui Zhan, employed at Shanghai’s Institute of Plant Physiology and Ecology, has worked out the genes that make this creature so difficult to destroy. In total, the species has 20,000 genes, which is the same number as a human, and the cockroaches are able to smell any food, especially if it is fermenting. Other genes control its internal detoxification system, which means the cockroach doesn’t get ill if it eats toxic food. More genes help it combat infections, making it resilient to
living in filthy conditions. Yet scientists are convinced that identifying the creature’s genes means they can control them better in the future. They have already deciphered the entire DNA of an American cockroach, and, apart from a nuclear Armageddon, it can survive almost anything. Researchers also found that the American cockroach was, genetically, closely-related to two species of termite. Last year, researchers revealed that female cockroaches were so resilient that they didn’t need a male partner. Females can reproduce for years, and have several generations of allfemale young, without needing a single male. Japanese scientists used 15 virgin, female roaches to produce an allfemale colony, which stuck together for more than three years. Unlike male roaches, who fight if housed together, females huddle together and harmonise their reproductive cycles, producing more young than they would if they were alone. Experts believe this behaviour is a primitive example of female cooperation. And they maintain it is far better to spray cockroaches than stamp on them, because the females are usually laden with eggs.
Two hurt in kitchen fire TWO people were injured while escaping from the flames of a fire, which broke out at around 1.45am on Monday, in an Adeje apartment block.
A call was made to the emergency services, who dispatched firefighters, together with an ambulance team, to the Calle Venecia scene. Upon arrival, the fire-fighters
began to extinguish the blaze, which was mainly in the kitchen of an apartment. One of the two people affected was a 54-year-old British woman, who suffered moderate burns to her arms, and also smoke inhalation. The other person involved, a man aged 43, also suffered from the smoke. Both were taken to a local hospital for treatment, while the police cordoned off the area for safety reasons.
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30th March - 5th April 2018
Airline association bids to ease strike problems EUROPE’S largest airline association believes more than 800 flights were cancelled, and that the travel plans of 100,000 passengers were affected severely, when French air-traffic controllers staged another strike last Thursday. Airlines for Europe (A4E) insists that since 2010, the EU’s Air Traffic Control strikes have cost the economy 12 billion euros, with passengers having to put up with almost an entire year of ATC strikes since 2005. It also claims that, of the total 357 strikes, the French ATC was responsible for 249, which have led to 230,660 cancellations. Its nearest “rival” is Greece, with 44. And in that period, Spanish air-traffic controllers have called just six strikes. The A4E trade association includes such members as easyJet, IAG, Jet2.com,
Ryanair, Air France-KLM, Lufthansa and Norwegian. It is now urging passengers, who don’t want their travel and holiday plans ruined by strike action, to sign up to their “Keep Europe’s Skies Open” online petition. It calls on the European Commission, the European Parliament and Member
States to protect Europe from repeated extortion and disruption by airtrafffic-control unions. The association believes the strikes have a huge impact on the European economy, tourism and competitiveness, and that Europe’s reputation is at stake.
A spokesperson adds: “Although we fully respect the right to industrial action, demands of increasinglymobile European citizens and businesses cannot be taken hostage in such a disproportionate manner.” The A4E association has pressed the EU and national governments to
take action, finally, and call on air navigation service providers and their employees, to participate in arbitration as soon as possible, before threatening industrial action. It urges them to carry out the following: *Protect flights over-flying the country affected by industrial action, while ensuring that this does not come at the expense of flights to and from the country affected *Implement co-operation mechanisms to explore means to minimise the impact of ATC service disruption (allowing other European air-traffic controllers to manage flights over airspace affected by strike action) *Provide a 21-day advance notification of strike action *Provide a 72-hour advance notification of participation in industrial action, at individual employee level, to improve the predictability of the disruption level To sign the “Keep Europe’s Skies Open” petition, go to: www.keepeuropesskies open.com
Elderly folk baffled by hugger-muggers POLICE have arrested eight people, alleged to be members of a gang who targeted the elderly, along the Costa Blanca. The group’s method would often involve women approaching elderly men, and offering to perform sexual acts with them. Then, while hugging or kissing the victim, they would steal any jewellery or watches they were wearing. If the victims realised what was happening, the women turned violent, and removed
the jewellery, forcibly, before fleeing to a getaway vehicle. Three victims had to be transferred to a hospital, after succumbing to broken bones during the scuffles. Five men and three women, all aged between 18-40, who have been held, are believed to have been involved in as many as 44 cases of theft, and three violent robberies, across the Alicante province. In total, they are thought to have stolen items worth a total of 500,000 euros, which they sold on.
Some of the recovered items
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30th March - 5th April 2018
DOZENS of women, coerced into humantrafficking and prostitution by voodoo threats, were kept in squalid conditions in cave houses when they arrived in Spain. But the Guardia Civil, in collaboration with the UK’s National Crime Agency (NCA) and the authorities in Nigeria, where the women were recruited, have busted a crime gang there, in one of the largest European operations against humantrafficking in Europe.
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Voodoo threats helped entice Nigerian women Police officers carried out 41 house searches in the Spanish areas of Alicante, Almeria, Barcelona, Cantabria, Madrid, Malaga, Murcia, Navarra, Sevilla, Toledo and Vizcaya, and in Manchester. And bank accounts used by the gang to launder more than 300,000 euros from the illicit activities have been blocked. The investigation began
A kitchen-knife threat by thief
NATIONAL Police arrested a 39-year-old Spaniard, who used a kitchen knife to carry out an armed robbery at a multi-storey shopping centre in San Cristobel, La Laguna. The incident happened in the afternoon, after the man had just robbed a shop inside the shopping centre, threatening staff with a knife, before disappearing. The shop assistants, along with other witnesses, were able to provide a good description of the thief to the police, who began an immediate search of the shopping centre. They eventually found him, hiding in a discreet area of the building. He was arrested, and a body-search by cops revealed the knife he had used to threaten the assistants, as well as the 450 euros he had stolen, which was eventually returned to the shop. The man, who had no previous convictions, was arrested and is in custody, awaiting a court hearing.
when one of the underage victims filed a complaint with the police. She reported being coerced into trafficking by voodoo threats in Nigeria. She was among the victims transferred from Nigeria to Europe, via Libya and Italy. Then, once in Spain, the women were kept in disgusting conditions in
Almerian cave houses, where they were exploited as prostitutes to pay off the so-called 30,000-euro debt, they were each said to have owed the criminals. The highly-active, Nigerian network was linked to the EIYE brotherhood, and one of the gang’s most important members was a well-known DJ in Nigeria.
He was arrested when returning from his country, where he was recording a music video. His main role was to transfer the victims to Spain, and organise sexual exploitation in several of the country’s provinces. In all, the operation resulted in 89 arrests, while 39 victims were safeguarded.
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30th March - 5th April 2018
GBP/EUR hits nine-month high By Carol schleisman at currencies direct
THE pound has been on a bullish run in recent days, thanks to mounting bets that the Bank of England (BoE) will vote to raise interest rates at its May meeting. However, while BoE policymakers took a generallyhawkish tone at their March policy meeting, GBP exchange rates soon hit resistance and lost momentum, once again. As a result, after hitting its highest level since June, the GBP/EUR exchange rate returned to a rather-softer footing. Markets reacted positively to a breakthrough in Brexit talks, as the EU and UK published a joint draft treaty, highlighting agreement on a number of key issues. Although there
was no sign of progress, with regards to the Irish border, this was not enough to stop the Pound surging higher, in the wake of the announcement. This encouraged hopes that the two sides could agree a deal, ahead of the UK’s departure date of March 2019, limiting the odds of a cliff-edge exit. With just over a year left before the Brexit deadline, concerns remain over the possibility of another breakdown in negotiations. A combination of weaker, UK inflation and higherwage growth helped to
improve the case for the BoE to raise interest rates again, in the near future. As two policymakers voted in favour of an immediate, interest-rate hike at the BoE policy meeting, the chances of a May move appeared to increase further. This has limited the weakness of the pound, even though profit taking, and lingering, political worries, have kept demand somewhat in check. Demand for the euro could pick up significantly, in the near term, if the latest, German, consumer-price-index data shows an improve-
An extra 14-euro EU cost for Brits BRITONS are likely to be charged 14 euros for an online permit to travel to any country within the European Union, and the UK will introduce a similar fee for visitors from Europe as part of new security measures. Under current proposals, the permits will be valid for between three to five years, according to aviation consultant Eddie Redfern. He told last week’s ABTA Brexit briefing that the proposed Electronic European Travel Information and Authorisation System (ETIAS) was led by security issues, and not Brexit. “The UK was already looking at introducing something like this,” said Redfern. “It was going to be introduced, regardless of Brexit.” The EU plans to introduce the permits for all European
countries outside the Schengen region, not just the UK, according to Redfern, who is a fellow of the Chartered Institute of Logistics and Transport, specialising in regulatory affairs. Travellers must apply for the ETIAS online, in much the same way as they apply for an ESTA, to travel to the US. At 14 dollars, the ESTA is slightly cheaper, but is valid for just two years. Applicants will have to answer a series of questions, designed to identify illegal immigrants, as well as those who pose a security threat, or a public health risk.
Travellers will have to provide proof of ID, their address, contact and employment details, or the name of their college, and details of their health, including whether they are suffering from any infectious diseases. They will also have to supply details of serious convictions, including racism and xenophobia, and explain reasons for any travel to war zones, or areas of conflict. In addition, they will have to give an address for the first night of their trip. The proposals for the ETIAS have not yet been finalised.
ment. Higher inflationary pressure would give the European Central Bank (ECB) additional incentive to consider returning to a monetary-tightening bias, in the coming months. This may weigh heavily on the GBP/EUR exchange rate, especially if March’s German unemployment rate falls to a fresh, multi-year low, as forecast. Any weakness in the latest raft of UK PMIs may diminish the appeal of the pound, meanwhile, as the economy remains under pressure, thanks to the uncertainty of Brexit.
The US dollar, meanwhile, has seen some sharp moves in response to the Trump administration’s more-protectionist policy approach. With markets unsettled by the prospect of a trade war between the US and China, the GBP/ USD exchange rate found additional support. Even if US data continues to print positively in the coming weeks, the US dollar may struggle to find particular support. Unless the US and China back away from a full-blown trade war, confidence in the future of the US economy could sour rather sharply, with growth having already shown signs of softening. At Currencies Direct, we’re here to talk currency whenever you need us, so get in touch if you want to know more about the latest news, or how it could impact your currency transfers. Since 1996, we’ve helped more than 210,000 customers with their currency transfers; just pop into your local Currencies Direct branch, or give us a call to find out more. T: +34 922 971 781 E: canaries@ currenciesdirect.com W: currenciesdirect.com
Spain following in Britain’s footsteps SPAIN has pledged to expel two Russian diplomats, in response to the Salisbury nerveagent attack in England. The Spanish Government will join more than 20 countries, which have stood together with the UK, expelling more than 100 diplomats altogether. A statement from its Foreign Ministry reads: “From the beginning, the government of Spain has considered that the attack perpetrated in Salisbury, through the use of a neurotoxic agent, is a fact of extreme gravity that represents a serious threat to our collective security and international law.” Russia continues to deny its involvement in the ghastly attack on former Russian double agent Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia. But it is believed that a further 130 people could have been exposed to the nerve agent.
British Prime Minister Theresa May said the hospitalised pair were still in a coma, and were unlikely to recover. But she and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson have welcomed the backing of the UK’s European Union allies. “I have found great solidarity from our friends and partners in the EU, North America, NATO and beyond, over the last three weeks, as we have confronted the aftermath of the Salisbury incident,” said Mrs May.
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
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Ordeal By Innocence Advertisement TV TV TVChoice Guide Guide News
Last Laugh In Vegas
Tuesday 3rd April, ITV1, 21.00
Showbiz legends prepare for the gig of a lifetime in Las Vegas What happens when a group of British showbiz legends are let loose in Sin City? ITV is about to find out in a brand new five-part series for 2018 called Last Laugh In Vegas. Some of the most famous names from comedy, music and variety from the 60s, 70s and 80s are to be given one last shot at putting on their dream gig in the variety capital of the world. The theatre is booked for one night only and eight acts will be given the chance to fulfil the dream they thought had long gone and put on a spectacular variety performance at one of the iconic venues in Las Vegas. The eight showbiz legends are comedy double act Cannon & Ball, entertainer Bernie Clifton, comedian Mick Miller, pianist and entertainer Bobby Crush, singer Kenny Lynch, 60’s pop idol Jess Conrad OBE, actress and singer Anita Harris and actress, singer and comedienne Su Pollard.
Sunday 1st April, BBC1, 21.00 Wealthy philanthropist Rachel Argyll is murdered at her family estate Sunny Point. Her adopted son Jack Argyll, a young delinquent, is arrested for her murder. He vehemently protests his innocence. Eighteen months later, Dr Arthur Calgary, a mysterious scientist, walks onto the velvety lawns of Sunny Point claiming to have just returned from an expedition to the Arctic. Even more extraordinary is his claim to hold the alibi that can prove Jack’s innocence. But Jack died in prison before the case could come to trial, and the Argyll family is reluctant to dig up the secrets of the past. Rachel’s widower Leo is about to remarry his secretary Gwenda and none of Rachel’s other adopted children Mary, Mickey, Tina or Hester, nor longstanding housekeeper Kirsten, is willing to reopen that most horrendous chapter of their lives. However, the shattering implications of Calgary’s story are too big to avoid; if he is telling the truth then the wrong person was arrested for Rachel’s murder. And if Jack is innocent, then it must have been somebody else at Sunny Point. Somebody still out there…
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W C This w e c i cho 30th March - 5th April 2018
Ready Or Not
Saturday 31st March, BBC1, 18.00
Welcome to the quiz show that comes to you! From the supermarket to the seaside, Bl to Birmingham city centre, brand new comedy entertainment show Ready or Not bri twist to the traditional gameshow. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, our crack team of quiz show hosts won’t be to surprise you with their crazy games. The show features voice over from much-lov McGuinness, and a roving team of hosts ready to surprise members of the public acro when they least expect it. They might pop through the middle of a couple’s table in a crowded restaurant, host a show in a car park lift, or they might just be a talking dog! So if you want to win big, yo out – because we’re coming for you… Ready or Not!
Attenborough’ Wonder of Egg
Saturday 31st March, BB
David Attenborough explores for birds’ eggs. These remarkab nurture new life, protecting it fro world at the same time as a breathe. They are strong enough the full weight of an incubatin weak enough to allow a chick to b how is an egg made? Why are t they are? And perhaps most imp lay an egg at all? Piece by piece, to hatching, David reveals the w these miracles of nature.
Easter From King’s
Saturday 31st March, BBC2, 18.15
Music and readings for Holy Week and Easter from the stunning Chapel of King’s College, Cambridge. The world-famous Choir, directed by Stephen Cleobury, sing some of the best-loved choral music for the season, including Were You There? (arr. Bob Chilcott), Greater Love Hath No Man (John Ireland), Wash Me Throughly (S.S Wesley), The Angel Rolled the Stone Away (arr. Cleobury), Worthy is the Lamb and Amen (G.F. Handel from Messiah) and This Joyful Eastertide (arr. Charles Wood). The story of Jesus’s death and resurrection is taken from the Gospel of John and told in the well-loved words of the King James Bible by members of King’s College. Easter hymns include My Song Is Love Unknown and Ye Choirs Of New Jerusalem.
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week’s TV Choice 30th March - 5th April 2018
The Generation Game Sunday 1st April, BBC1, 20.00
The Generation Game is back with brand new episodes, bringing celeb guests, big laughs and family fun to BBC One this Easter. Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins host the much-loved game show, with amazing prizes (and a cuddly toy!) to be won on the legendary conveyor belt. Four family pairs from different generations battle it out in games including Bollywood dancing, plate spinning, sausage making, and pottery. Mel and Sue are also joined by celebrity panellists, quiz show host Richard Osman and TV presenter Lorraine Kelly, plus special appearances from Basil Brush and surprise guests!
Change Your Tune Sunday 1st April, ITV1, 19.00
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Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid Monday 2nd April, BBC1, 21.00
In an emotional and personal journey, Lenny Henry travels to the Caribbean to find out where his family came from and the nature of the relationship between the Commonwealth, the Caribbean and the UK. Lenny’s life would be very different without the influence of the Commonwealth. Because of it, his parents were able to move to Dudley from the Jamaica in the 1950s, putting Lenny on the path to fame and fortune in the UK. He travels back to Jamaica to investigate his own beginnings and find out why, sixty years ago, his mother uprooted the family to travel thousands of miles to the rainy Midlands. He’ll meet his older brother Seymour for a tour of the remote and rural plot that he would have called home if the Henrys had remained on the island. Lenny visits a rum plantation, spends time with Commonwealth champion Rasheed Dwyer and Olympian Sashalee Forbes and then hangs out with reggae star Chronixx to hear what importance, if any, the Commonwealth has to Jamaicans today. In Antigua, Lenny will trace the roots of why the British ended up in the Caribbean in the first place, and meet some of the ex-pats who have decided to make the Caribbean their home. Finally he’ll travel to Barbuda, to visit the island community devastated by Hurricane Irma to hear tragic tales from survivors and consider the role the Commonwealth could play in the future around the world.
Dave Allen At Peace Change Your Tune is a new musical game show featuring some of the country’s WORST singers who are all hoping to ‘change their tune’ and win an amazing cash prize. In each episode, hosted by Baz Ashmawy (50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy), five truly terrible singers perform a classic song for a live studio audience. After each ear-splitting performance a curtain will fall and the singer will undergo weeks of training to try and improve their voice. Their transformation is revealed to the audience in an instant as the curtain rises again and they sing to try and win the show. The most improved contestant in each episode will bag a £10,000 cash prize. In the first episode, secondary school teacher George wants to learn to sing so he can join the school choir, but can he be taught to sing in tune? Environmental consultant Michael who enjoys amateur dramatics has got the confidence when it comes to performing but struggles to hit the right notes during his first performance of Uptown Girl. Care worker Angela is the third contestant with a truly terrible voice, she desperately wants to learn to sing so she can perform at her daughter ’s wedding. Selina from Sheffield is a music lover but struggles to stay in tune with the music she loves so much. The final contestant is Jack - an HGV driver who sings tunelessly as he drives around the country, performing Somebody to Love. Can any of them change their tune?
Monday 2nd April, BBC2, 21.00
Filmed in homage to his original TV series, this dramatisation of the life and career of the legendary comedian follows Dave Allen from childhood and into the comedian’s forty-year career. From performing alongside his brother as a Butlin’s Redcoat to becoming one of the UK and Ireland’s comedy greats. All with just a whiskey, a cigarette and nine-and-a-half fingers. This film explores how Dave’s comedy genius was shaped by the tragic loss of his father, his brother, and his finger. How he survived decades of the Roman Catholic Church’s wrath, death threats from the IRA and a ban by Irish and Australian TV, only to have his television career end in controversy when he used the f-word in an innocuous joke. The film is structured as an affectionate homage to Dave’s original television format. From his famous bar stool, the comic reflects on his formative years and showbiz career. Flashbacks, some visualised as comedy sketches, inter-cut his bar stool repartee bringing to life significant moments to life. The film is a celebration of both Dave Allen’s work and the influence the provocative godfather of modern stand-up still has on comedy today.
CW 22
TV Guide
Friday 30th March
06:00....................... Breakfast
06:00... Money for Nothing
09:00.................. Painting the CW Holy Land cho ice
06:45................Escape to the Country
10:00....... Homes Under the Hammer
07:30 .......Nature’s Weirdest Events
11:00............The Sheriffs are Coming
08:30..... Tinker Bell and the Secret of the Wings
11:45................. Claimed and Shamed
09:40..............Muppets Most Wanted
12:15............... Bargain Hunt
11:15....................Six Puppies and Us
13:00....... BBC News at One 13:15.....BBC London News 13:25.......... 102 Dalmatians 15:00....................... Escape to the Country 16:00... Money for Nothing 16:45............................Flog It! 17:45........................Pointless 18:30............... BBC News 18:50.BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 19:40..... The Silent Child 20:00............. EastEnders 20:30...............Room 101 21:00............ MasterChef 21:30..Mrs. Brown’s Boys 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:30............ Spooks: The Greater Good 00:10............... BBC News
CW
12:15........Growing Up Wild 13:15.............................. Coast 13:50....................Canterbury Cathedral 14:50......... Talking Pictures 15:35...................... The Robe 17:45.......... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:30 .............. Eggheads 19:00.... The Repair Shop 19:30 .......... Mastermind 20:30...Gardeners’ World 21:00...Pilgrimage: The W C Road to Santiago choice 22:00..............Episodes
CW cho ice
22:30.. The Assassination of Gianni Versace American Crime Story 23:25..................The Way 01:25........... Civilisations
06:00 ..........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 06:25......................... Super 4 06:55 ............. The Bagel and Becky Show 07:20 ...............Horrid Henry 08:20 ........................Wishfart 08:50 ................... Scrambled! Sketch Show 09:20........................... Mission Employable 09:25................................... K-9 11:15....................King Ralph 13:15................ Countrywise 13:40..............ITV Lunchtime News 14:00............... Judge Rinder 15:00.................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00....Paul O’grady: For the Love of Dogs 18:30.. ITV News London 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30....Coronation Street 20:00.... Love Your Garden 20:30....Coronation Street 21:00................ Furious 7 23:30..... ITV News at Ten 23:50.........Bear’s Mission with Anthony Joshua 00:40........... The Durrells
Episodes BBC2, 22.00
The award-winning, critically acclaimed comedy Episodes returns for a much-anticipated fifth and final season. This hilarious series comes from visionary creators David Crane (Friends) and Jeffrey Klarik (Mad About You). In Episodes, Matt LeBlanc (Top Gear) plays an outrageous version of himself, a dazzling, multifaceted role for which he won a Golden Globe and received four Emmy nominations for Outstanding Actor in a Comedy. Stephen Mangan (Green Wing) and Tamsin Greig (Friday Night Dinner), two of the crown jewels of British comedy, are Sean and Beverly Lincoln, an English couple who are brought to the US to remake their hit UK sitcom for American audiences, only to see it corrupted beyond all recognition.
cho i c e
06:00............... Everybody Loves Raymond 06:55 ..................................Frasier 07:50 ................ Animals United 09:35 ......The Big Bang Theory 10:35 ................... The Simpsons 12:05......................... Romancing the Stone 14:10 ....................... Countdown 15:00 ........... A Place in the Sun 16:00........................... A New Life in the Sun 17:00 .....................Four in a Bed 17:30 ................... Star Boot Sale 18:00............. The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00.......... Channel 4 News 19:30........Food Unwrapped 20:00........................ Britain’s Favourite Food 21:00.................. Gogglebox 22:00.............. Lee and Dean 22:30.......... 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:15..Rob Beckett’s Playing for Time 23:50................... Rude Tube
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00...................... Childrens’ TV 09:15 ...............The Wright Stuff 11:10 ..................Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!
06:00 ...... The Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:15 ..................Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records
12:05.......... 5 News Lunchtime
07:00 ............... Who’s Doing the Dishes?
12:10.............. Home and Away
07:55 ........................ Emmerdale
12:40 ....................... Neighbours
08:55 ............Coronation Street
13:10 ......................Shenandoah
09:25 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold
15:15 ................... The Searchers 17:30 ....................... Neighbours 18:00..........Home and Away 18:25........... 5 News Tonight 18:35..... Kensington Palace: Fit for a Princess 20:00.............. Britain’s Great Cathedrals with Tony Robinson 21:00..... Jane Mcdonald and Friends
09:55.................. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:05...............St. Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold 12:15 ........................ Emmerdale 13:15............ Coronation Street 13:45 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 14:10....The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:30........................................Hop 18:20................The Amazing Spider-Man
22:00.............Will and Grace
21:00................ Bridesmaids
22:30...............Football on 5
23:30.................. Family Guy
00:00...............Super Casino
00:30............ American Dad!
08:55............ Food Unwrapped
06:00......... The Dog Whisperer
07:10 ........Storage Hunters UK
09:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
07:00 ... RSPCA Animal Rescue
07:35........ Storage Hunters UK
10:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
08:00 ..............Motorway Patrol
08:10........ Storage Hunters UK
11:35 .....................Four in a Bed
09:00.......................... Road Wars
08:35........ Storage Hunters UK
12:05 .....................Four in a Bed
10:00................... Warehouse 13
12:35 .....................Four in a Bed
11:00..... David Attenborough’s Conquest of the Skies
09:00 ...........Dynamo: Magician Impossible
13:05 .....................Four in a Bed 13:40 .....................Four in a Bed 14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me 14:40 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:15 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:45 ....... Come Dine with Me 16:20 ....... Come Dine with Me 16:50........... A Place in the Sun 17:55.................Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it 18:55............. The Secret Life of the Zoo 19:55 ........... Grand Designs 21:00 ............ Rough Justice 22:05 ....24 Hours in a and e 00:15.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:15.....24 Hours in a and e
12:00.............NCIS: Los Angeles
09:55 ............. Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
13:00..................... Hawaii Five-0
10:55........................... Deadly 60
14:00........................... Road Wars
11:25 ...........................Deadly 60
15:00.............NCIS: Los Angeles 16:00.....................Stargate SG-1
11:55............... Steve Backshall’s Extreme Mountain Challenge
17:00.................... The Simpsons
13:55 ............................. Top Gear
17:30.............................Futurama
15:20 ............................. Top Gear
18:30..............The Simpsons 20:30............Modern Family
18:00 ....................... Red Bull Soapbox Race
21:00.......... In the Long Run
19:00......Cop Car Workshop
22:00..... The Late Late Show with James Corden
20:00.......... Motorway Cops
23:00.................. A League of Their Own
23:35..... Would I Lie to You?
00:00.............. Ross Kemp: In Search of Pirates 01:00......................Brit Cops: Frontline Crime
21:00......Good Will Hunting 00:15........... Mock the Week 00:55................................. QI 01:35............... Would I Lie to You at Christmas
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 10:00 ........................Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 .... Classic Mary Berry 12:00 ............Football Focus 13:00 .....................BBC News 13:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 14:00 ..................MasterChef 14:30 ..................MasterChef 15:00 .............................. Shrek Forever After 16:25................... Final Score
Saturday 31st March
06:10............ The Wonder of Animals 06:40...........................Naomi’s Nightmares of Nature 07:10 .......... The Pets Factor 07:30 .........The Dengineers 08:00 ........................Absolute Genius: Monster Builds 08:30 ............Beyond Bionic 09:00.................. Robot Wars 10:00 .......................... Gordon Buchanan: Elephant Family and Me
TV Guide
06:00................Childrens’ TV
06:10........................... Marathon
06:00...................... Childrens’ TV
08:30................Thunderbirds are Go
06:40 ............................. Triathlon 07:05 ................ King of Queens
09:05 ..................Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom
09:05 ........................Wishfart
07:55 .............. Everybody Loves Raymond
09:20........ Shimmer and Shine 09:40 ...................Digby Dragon
08:50 ..................................Frasier
09:55........................... Peppa Pig
10:25 ......The Big Bang Theory
10:00........................... Peppa Pig
11:50 ................... The Simpsons
10:10 ....... Gone with the Wind
13:20 ....... Come Dine with Me
14:30......................... Oklahoma!
14:20 ............... Coast v Country
16:00................................. 5 News
15:25 ........... A Place in the Sun
16:05 ......................... Oklahoma!
09:25 ...................... ITV News 09:30 ......Saturday Morning with James Martin 11:25 ................ Who’s Doing the Dishes? 12:25...ITV Lunchtime News 12:30................ The Harbour 13:00........ Best Walks with a View with Julia Bradbury
16:25 ........... A Place in the Sun 17:30 ................... The Secret Life of the Zoo
17:10...................Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!
23 CW
06:00 ........................ The Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:15 ......................... Emmerdale Omnibus 08:40.......................... Coronation Street Omnibus 11:55............................... Celebrity Catchphrase 12:55 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 13:55 ..................The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas 15:40 .................Nanny McPhee
18:30 ......... Channel 4 News
18:10............Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away: Final Demand
17:45 ............................. Mr Bean’s Holiday
19:00 .........Coastal Railways with Julie Walters
19:00.......Cruising with Jane McDonald
22:15 ........... Celebrity Juice
20:00......Britain at Low Tide
20:00... Inside Windsor Castle
15:00..........................Tenable
21:00........................ Taken 3
20:55.........5 News Weekend
13:00...................... Cromwell
16:00...............Tipping Point 17:00.....................The Chase
21:00.............Most Shocking Sexist TV of All Time
18:45 ................Pointless
15:15....................Canterbury Cathedral
23:15............... AVP: Alien vs. Predator
19:35 ........................ Who Dares Wins
16:15......................The Secret Helpers
18:30............ You’ve Been Framed!
01:00.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
22:30.........20 Moments That Rocked the 80s
01:45....Hollyoaks Omnibus
00:00...............Super Casino
01:35 ..................Release the Hounds
20:20 ................ Casualty
17:15..........................Big Cats
21:10 .................Troy: Fall of a City
18:15............. Easter from King’s
19:00..........Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Take Away
22:10.............. BBC News
19:30.............Dad’s Army
20:30.......The Voice UK
22:30...................... Match of the Day
20:00...... Attenborough’s Wonder of Eggs
22:00 ............... ITV News
08:55.... Kirstie’s Vintage Gems
06:00............................ Futurama
07:25 ........Storage Hunters UK
06:30 ............................Futurama
07:50 ........Storage Hunters UK
00:00....... Forget Me Not
21:00....................Hamlet
09:30..........Grand Designs New Zealand
07:00 ............................ The Flash
10:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
08:20 ........Storage Hunters UK
01:30...... Weather for the Week Ahead
00:15........... Civilisations
08:00 ................... The Simpsons
11:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
09:00 ................... The Simpsons
08:50 ...........Dynamo: Magician Impossible
12:35 ........... A Place in the Sun
10:00 ........................Soccer A.M.
13:40 ........... A Place in the Sun 14:40 .....................Four in a Bed
11:30 ........ Live Crystal Palace v Liverpool Pre-Match
15:10 .....................Four in a Bed
12:30 ............................Off Limits
11:20 ............................. Top Gear
15:45..................... Four in a Bed
13:00 ................. Modern Family
12:50 ............................. Top Gear
14:00 ................. Modern Family
15:20 ............................. Top Gear
15:00 ............................... My Icon
18:00........ Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
17:15 ................... A Question of Sport 17:45 ................Doodlebugs 18:00 ..................... Ready or Not 18:30 .............. BBC News 18:40 ........... BBC London News
01:35............... BBC News
CW
11:00....................Six Puppies and Us 12:00............The Ladykillers: Pest Detectives
01:15................... Therese Desqueyroux
13:30........................... Britain’s Brightest Family 14:00.........................Celebrity Catchphrase
18:00..ITV Evening News
CW
cho ice
22:15 ............ The Bourne Identity 00:20..............Goodwood Members’ Meeting Highlights
The Voice UK ITV1, 20.30
It’s the live Semi-Final of The Voice UK as the eight remaining singers perform for a place in next week’s live Final. Members of Team Olly, Team JHud, Team Will and Team Tom sing to stay in the competition and potentially be one step closer to winning a recording contract with Polydor Records. Only four acts can go through to the Final and for the first time this series, the power lies with the viewers at home, as the public vote to save their favourite singers.
cho i c e
16:15..................... Four in a Bed 16:50 .....................Four in a Bed 17:20 ....... Come Dine with Me 17:50 ....... Come Dine with Me
15:15 ................... Gillette Soccer Saturday
18:20.... Come Dine with Me
17:30 ................... Gillette Soccer Saturday
18:55.... Come Dine with Me
18:00 .............The Simpsons
19:25.... Come Dine with Me
19:00 .............The Simpsons
20:00............. The Plane That Saved Britain
20:00 ......NCIS: Los Angeles
21:00.. Guy Martin’s Spitfire
22:00 ......................Hostage
22:35.......................Tsunami 23:40........... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:50............... Kinky Britain
21:00 ................... Seal Team 00:05 ................. A League of Their Own 01:05...... Football’s Funniest Moments
19:30......................... Skyfall 23:05 ................. Family Guy 23:35 ................. Family Guy 00:05 ........... American Dad! 00:35 ........... American Dad! 01:05 ............... Action Team
09:50................................ Red Bull Soapbox Race 10:50........................... Deadly 60
19:00.............Not Going Out 19:40................... Red Dwarf 20:20................... Red Dwarf 21:00..... Would I Lie to You? 21:40..... Would I Lie to You? 22:20..... Would I Lie to You? 23:00..............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish 00:00............................ QI XL 01:00..... Would I Lie to You? 01:40..... Would I Lie to You?
CW 24
TV Guide
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 07:25 ...... Match of the Day 09:00..............Painting the CW Holy Land choice 10:00 ......... Easter Day From Sheffield Cathedral 11:00 ................. Urbi et Orbi 11:25 ......... The Silent Child 11:45 .............. Bargain Hunt 12:25 .....................BBC News 12:40 ..................... Shaun the Sheep Movie 14:00 ..................MasterChef 16:30 ...............Escape to the Country 17:00 .......... Songs of Praise 17:35 .....................BBC News 17:50 ....BBC London News 18:00 ....The Big Painting Challenge 19:00............ Countryfile 20:00...... The Generation Game 21:00 ............... Ordeal by Innocence 22:00.............. BBC News 22:30..................Match of the Day 2 23:30...........The Women’s Football Show 00:05............... BBC News
Sunday 1st april
06:20 ............................. Coast 06:50....... Glorious Gardens From Above 07:35......... Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 08:05...... Gardeners’ World 08:35.................. Countryfile 09:30 ........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:00 ............ Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 11:45......... Lorraine Pascale: How to be a Better Cook 12:15 .............. MOTD2 Extra 13:00............................. Coast 13:15........... Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago 14:15 ...................Canterbury Cathedral 15:15........... RAF at 100 with Ewan and Colin Mcgregor 16:45..................... War Horse 19:00... Down the Mighty River with Steve Backshall 20:00................ Top Gear 21:00............... Unsealed: Conspiracy Files 22:00 ..... Mock the Week 22:35 ................Top Gear: Extra Gear 23:00..................... Selma 01:00.............Countryfile
06:00................Childrens’ TV 07:35 ................The Tom and Jerry Show 07:50 .......... Teen Titans Go! 08:10 ............... Mr. Bean: The Animated Series 08:30 ...................Spy School 09:05......... Adventure Time 09:25...................... ITV News 09:30 ..... Love Your Garden 10:00 ............... Countrywise 10:30 ...............The Voice UK 12:00 .............. Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Take Away 13:30...ITV Lunchtime News 13:40......... Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 15:45................ Catchphrase 16:30......ITV Evening News 17:00...............Tipping Point 18:00.............. The Chase: Celebrity Special 19:00. Change Your Tune 20:00........... The Durrells 21:00.... The Good Karma Hospital 22:00................ ITV News 22:15... Sherlock Holmes 00:40................. Marcella 01:30........... Jackpot247
CW
Painting The Holy Land with Lachlan Goudie cho i c e BBC1, 09.00
In a vibrant Easter two-part special to mark the holiest days of the Christian calendar, artist Lachlan Goudie packs his easel to undertake a highly personal trip of a lifetime. From an early age, Lachlan was gripped by a vivid sense of the Holy Land gleaned from the images in his illustrated children’s Bible. As he grew up, those images were supplanted by others… the great masterpieces of Leonardo and Raphael. But above all, Lachlan absorbed the Bible story through the many powerful paintings of the crucifixion by his own father, the artist Alexander Goudie. All these artists had one thing in common: they had never been to the Holy Land. It only existed for them, and for Lachlan himself, in the imagination. Lachlan has always wondered what it might be like to visit and paint the actual sites where the Bible stories took place. In this two part series, screening on Good Friday and Easter Sunday, Lachlan will explore the Holy Land for himself, sketching and painting the people and landscapes he sees there - looking afresh at its sacred sites and bustling streets, through the eyes of an artist. Exploring and sketching the key sites of Christianity that marked both the birth of Jesus, and his death, Lachlan enters a world he has only ever experienced on a Christmas card or a gallery wall. How will the experience of working and travelling in the Holy Land make him think about his own relationship with the Bible story? In Episode Two, to screen on Easter Monday, Lachlan traces the role of Mary through the Biblical story, with a very personal question: why is the Mother almost a by-stander in the gospels, but so well-represented in art? In the places Mary knew, Lachlan looks at her role in the story of the Resurrection and the last event of Easter, the Pentecost. In Nazareth and Bethlehem Lachlan revisits the Immaculate Conception and the birth of Christ. It’s a story he knows well, as told to him many times by his Catholic mother. Taking his easel with him, Lachlan will visit the places in the Holy Land most associated with Mary including the Tomb of the Virgin Mary and the Church of the Nativity.
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:15................ King of Queens
06:00...................... Childrens’ TV
07:30 .............. Everybody Loves Raymond
08:00 ........Shimmer and Shine
08:30 ..................................Frasier
08:20 ........................... Peppa Pig
09:30 .................Sunday Brunch 12:30 ............................Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 13:35 ................... The Simpsons 15:30................................. Ice Age: The Great Egg-Scapade 16:00 ................................Dumbo 17:15............................. The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer 18:30......... Channel 4 News 19:00.................... Homes by the Med
08:10 ...................Digby Dragon 08:40 ........................... Peppa Pig 08:45 ................................ Thomas and Friends 10:05 ................Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:40 ..........Police Interceptors 11:40 ..........Police Interceptors
06:00 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 06:25 ......................... Emmerdale Omnibus 09:00............. Coronation Street Omnibus 12:15 ..................... The Voice UK 13:55......................... Britain’s Got Talent: Top 10 Golden Buzzers 14:55................ Happy Feet Two
12:45 ..............................Joe Kidd 14:25 ................Space Cowboys 16:55 .............................. Stargate 17:55 .................................5 News 18:00...................... Stargate 19:10............Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!
16:50 .......................................Hop
22:00 ........................ 5 News
18:45......................... Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
21:00................... Homeland
22:05.......... Bruce Almighty
21:00 ....................... Spectre
22:05........... The Green Mile
23:05............ Just Go with it
23:55.................. Family Guy
01:25.............. The Supervet
01:15.............. Super Casino
01:20............ American Dad!
08:55..... A New Life in the Sun
06:00.......... The Hour of Power
07:15 ........Storage Hunters UK
10:00..... A New Life in the Sun
07:00 .............................Supergirl
07:40 ........Storage Hunters UK
11:00................... Vet on the Hill
08:00 ................... The Simpsons
08:10 ........Storage Hunters UK
12:05 ....... Come Dine with Me
08:30 ................... The Simpsons
13:10 ....... Come Dine with Me
09:00................... The Simpsons
08:40............Dynamo: Magician Impossible
14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me
09:30 ................... The Simpsons
14:45 .....................Four in a Bed
10:00................... The Simpsons
09:40.............. Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
10:30................... The Simpsons
10:40 ...........................Deadly 60
11:00 ...........................WWE Raw
11:40 ...........................Deadly 60
12:00 ...........................MacGyver
12:10 ...........................Deadly 60
13:00................. Modern Family
12:40 ............................. Top Gear
13:30..... David Attenborough’s Bachelor King
15:20 ............................. Top Gear
20:00..................... Escape to the Chateau
15:50..................... Four in a Bed 16:50..................... Four in a Bed 17:20........ Come Dine with Me 17:55........ Come Dine with Me 18:25.... Come Dine with Me 18:55.... Come Dine with Me 19:25.... Come Dine with Me 20:00............. Secret History 21:00.......... Guy Martin: Last Flight of the Vulcan Bomber 22:40........... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:40.................. Very British Problems 00:40.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
20:55.........5 News Weekend 21:00 ..........Bruce Almighty
15:00 ............................... Jumanji
18:00 ....... Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
17:00 ................... The Simpsons
19:00......Cop Car Workshop
18:30.................. Revolution
20:00.......... Motorway Cops
19:30............. The Simpsons 20:00................... MacGyver
21:00............ Have I Got a Bit More News for You
21:00 ............. Hawaii Five-0
22:00............................ QI XL
22:00 ......NCIS: Los Angeles
23:00....... Live at the Apollo
23:00 ......... In the Long Run
00:00.................... Room 101
23:30 ......... In the Long Run
00:40.................... Room 101
00:00 ...............The Blacklist
01:20............ Have I Got a Bit More News for You
01:00 ..........................Arrow
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15............... Oxford Street Revealed 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45................. Claimed and Shamed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:25 ..............Father Brown 14:10 ...........Garden Rescue 14:55 ...............Escape to the Country 15:40... Money for Nothing 16:25 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30................. Celebrity Mastermind 19:00........The One Show 19:30............ MasterChef 20:00............. EastEnders 20:30.Classic Mary Berry 21:00... Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:45...Michael Mcintyre 23:30.. Live at the Apollo 00:15............... BBC News
CW
06:15 ........The Repair Shop 06:45... Money for Nothing 07:30 .......Nature’s Weirdest Events 08:30....Gnomeo and Juliet 09:45......................Rise of the Guardians 11:15...................... The Super League Show 12:00 ..................Funny Lady 14:15 .....Trust Me, I’m a Vet 15:15 .....Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 16:15....... Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 17:15...........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00............... Eggheads 18:30.... The Repair Shop 19:00.................Top Gear 20:00......... Only Connect 20:30............... University Challenge 21:00.......... Dave Allen at Peace 22:00... Dave Allen: God’s Own Comedian 23:00...... Z for Zachariah 00:30................Unsealed: Conspiracy Files 01:30.......................David Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities
monday 2nd April
06:00...........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 06:25.......................... Super 4 06:55.............. The Bagel and Becky Show 07:20.............. Horrid Henry 08:20.........................Wishfart 08:50 ..................Scrambled! 09:20....Mission Employable 09:25 ...............Dragonheart 11:25..................... Free Willy 13:40...ITV Lunchtime News 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00...............Tipping Point 17:00.....................The Chase 18:00....Paul O’grady: For the Love of Dogs 18:30.. ITV News London 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..Coronation Street 20:00......... The Kyle Files 21:00..............Marcella
09:15 ...............The Wright Stuff
06:00 ........................ The Planet’s Funniest Animals
11:15 ........Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away: Final Demand
06:20.................. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records
12:05 ..........5 News Lunchtime
07:10................ Who’s Doing the Dishes?
12:10 .............. Home and Away 12:40 ....................... Neighbours 13:10 ................ Seven Brides for Seven Brothers 15:10 .................................. Oliver! 16:10 .................................5 News 16:15 .................................. Oliver! 18:00 ................ Neighbours 18:30......... Home and Away 18:55.......... 5 News Tonight 19:00........ The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 20:00..... Police Interceptors 21:00.................. Paddington Station 24/7 22:00................... Armed and Deadly: Police UK
07:55........................ Emmerdale 08:20............ Coronation Street 09:25 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 10:00 ..................Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 10:15 ......... Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang 12:25........................ Emmerdale 13:00............ Coronation Street 14:00....The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:15 .........................The Smurfs 18:20............... The Amazing Spider-Man 2 21:00 ................. Family Guy 21:30 ........... American Dad!
23:05......Caught on Camera
22:00............... Action Team
23:30...............Football on 5
22:35................. Family Guy
01:00...............Super Casino
00:00........... American Dad!
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22:00..... ITV News at Ten
22:20.................. The Real Full Monty
08:55............ Food Unwrapped
06:00............................. Supergirl
09:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
07:00 .............................Supergirl
23:50........... The Durrells
10:30 ........... A Place in the Sun
08:00 ............ Ready Player One
00:40......... The Kyle Files
11:35 .....................Four in a Bed
08:30............................ Futurama
12:35 .....................Four in a Bed
09:00................... The Simpsons
13:40 .....................Four in a Bed
10:00................... The Simpsons
Marcella heads to Nigel Stafford’s house to question him. As she walks around the house she finds a small grave before heading inside the unlocked door. Inside she’s confronted by Nigel, holding a knife. Marcella manages to persuade Nigel to put the knife down before pressuring him into revealing that the grave belonged to his dog and the killer has taken his girlfriend. Marcella scrolls through a web chat showing a picture of Rosio, tied and bound. Mark comes to the house as the team prepare to contact the killer through Nigel’s computer. When he arrives, he hands Marcella a USB stick containing dirt on Becky. He asks Marcella if they’re okay now but she’s dismissive. A shocking discovery is made at the police station which leads the team to believe that the killer is targeting the children through the KidsCall charity. Rav demands a list of everyone who works of everyone who works there as we cut to Jojo working in the call centre. Marcella pieces together the evidence and realises the killer’s MO as Edward walks into the killer’s clutches.
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06:00...................... Childrens’ TV
25 CW
20:30..Coronation Street
Marcella ITV1, 21.00
06:00 ....................... Countdown 06:45....3rd Rock from the Sun 07:35 ......The Big Bang Theory 08:55 ...............Thunder and the ÇHouse of Magic 10:35 ................... The Simpsons 12:00 ......The Jewel of the Nile 14:10....................... Countdown 15:00 ........... A Place in the Sun 16:00 .... A New Life in the Sun 17:00 .....................Four in a Bed 17:30 ................... Star Boot Sale 18:00 .............The Simpsons 18:30 ................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ......... Channel 4 News 19:30...... The Million Pound Holiday Club 20:30.................. Travel Man 21:00 ........... The Island with Bear Grylls 22:00 ............... Kiss Me First 23:05 .........Greg Davies: The Back of My Mum’s Head 00:05.............. Lee and Dean 00:35................ How to Get a Council House
TV Guide
14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me 14:40 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:15 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:45 ....... Come Dine with Me
10:30 ......................... Revolution 11:30 ............................... Jumanji 13:30 .... David Attenborough’s Natural History History Museum Alive
07:10 .................................Storage Hunters UK 07:35................................. Storage Hunters UK 08:10................................. Storage Hunters UK 08:35 .................................Storage Hunters UK 09:00............................. Top Gear 11:40 ............. Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
15:00............Football’s Funniest Moments
14:40 ............................. Top Gear
17:55 ................Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it
17:00................... The Simpsons 17:30................... The Simpsons
18:00....... Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017
18:55 ............ The Secret Life of the Zoo
18:00.................... Futurama
19:00 ........................... QI XL
18:30............. The Simpsons
20:00 .....Cop Car Workshop
19:55 ........... Grand Designs
19:00............. The Simpsons
21:00 ...... Live at the Apollo
21:00..................... Car S.O.S
19:30............. The Simpsons
22:00........... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
20:00 .................... Supergirl
22:00............. Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit
21:00 ..................... Star Trek
23:00 .................Taskmaster
23:00.....24 Hours in a and e
23:25....The Force: North East
00:00 ................................ QI
00:05.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
00:25............ Air Ambulance
00:40 ................................ QI
01:25......................Brit Cops: Frontline Crime
01:20............................ Mock the Week
16:20 ....... Come Dine with Me 16:50 ........... A Place in the Sun
01:00......................Car S.O.S
16:20 ............................. Top Gear
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TV Guide
tuesday 3rd April
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00...................... Breakfast 09:15............... Oxford Street Revealed 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45 ................ Claimed and Shamed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30.....BBC London News 13:45................... Moving On 14:30................Escape to the Continent 15:30... Money for Nothing 16:15............................Flog It! 17:15........................Pointless 18:00....... BBC News at Six 18:30... BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 19:30............. EastEnders 19:57.........BBC News and Regional News 20:00.............. Holby City 21:00........... Come Home 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:45.......... This Country 23:15....R Kelly: Sex, Girls and Videotapes 00:10............... BBC News
CW
06:00...Flog it! Trade Secrets 06:30... Money for Nothing 07:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 08:00 ...... Hugh’s Wild West 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00....BBC Newsroom Live 11:30.............Westminster in Review 12:00 ................................ Golf 13:00 ..................... The Super League Show 13:45 ............ Plan it, Build it 14:15 .....Trust Me, I’m a Vet 15:15 .....Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 16:15 ...... Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 17:15 ..........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00.............. Eggheads 18:30.... The Repair Shop 19:00..... Attenborough’s Wonder of Eggs 20:00............Great Indian Railway Journeys 21:00...............Hospital CW cho ice 22:00......Cunk on Britain 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15...... Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago 00:15........... Great British Railway Journeys 00:45............ MasterChef
06:00............ Good Morning Britain 08:30......................... Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30............. ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00.............. Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00.. ITV News London 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30 ...........100 Year Old Driving School 20:00..........Paul O’Grady 21:00.............. Last Laugh in Vegas 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather
22:45........... The Real Full Monty
06:00......................... The Planet’s Funniest Animals
07:00 ...........................Scrapheap Challenge
08:55 ............ Food Unwrapped
06:00 .............................Supergirl
00:05......Britain’s Busiest Airport - Heathrow
09:30............ A Place in the Sun
07:00 .............................Supergirl
10:30............ A Place in the Sun
08:00 ............................Futurama
00:55............ Jackpot247
11:35......................Four in a Bed
08:30 ................. Modern Family
12:35 .....................Four in a Bed
09:30 ................... The Simpsons
13:40..................... Four in a Bed
10:30 ................... The Simpsons
14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me
11:00 ...................Warehouse 13
15:15 ....... Come Dine with Me
12:00 ............NCIS: Los Angeles
15:45 ....... Come Dine with Me
13:00 .................... Hawaii Five-0
16:20 ....... Come Dine with Me
14:00.................... Hawaii Five-0
16:50 ........... A Place in the Sun
15:00 ............NCIS: Los Angeles
17:55................ Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it
16:00 ....................Stargate SG-1
18:55............. The Secret Life of the Zoo
18:00.................... Futurama
Hospital gains inside access to one of the country’s biggest and busiest Trusts, filmed at Nottingham University Hospitals during the worst winter for the NHS on record. In episode two, head and neck surgeon David Grant returns from annual leave to find his surgical list has snowballed. David is one of only two consultant surgeons here, which is under severe strain, due to a national shortage of head and neck surgeons. To make matters worse David is thinking of leaving. He says: “The job I want to do, I can’t do in the NHS, because of the pressure we’re under all the time. There’s just nowhere to take a breath”. Freda, a 75-year-old retired teacher, is one of David’s patients. She has a lump in her thyroid gland that David fears might be cancer and he’s keen to operate – but a huge backlog in his surgical list delays Freda’s operation by several weeks.
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06:00...................... Childrens’ TV 09:15................The Wright Stuff 11:15...................Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 12:10...........5 News Lunchtime 12:15..........................GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:15.............. Home and Away 13:45....................... Neighbours 14:15...................................... NCIS 15:15 .................Abducting Zoe 17:00 ........................ 5 News at 5 17:30 ....................... Neighbours 18:00......... Home and Away 18:30........... 5 News Tonight 19:00............... The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 20:00............... Secrets of the National Trust with Alan Titchmarsh 21:00........... Everest: World’s Greatest Mountain 22:00.....................Sabotage 23:00......................... 5 News 23:05.....................Sabotage 00:10..... Police Interceptors
06:20.................. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:10 ............... Who’s Doing the Dishes? 07:55 ........................ Emmerdale 08:20 ............Coronation Street 09:25 .............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 10:10.............................. Smurfs 2 12:15 ........................ Emmerdale 12:45 ............Coronation Street 13:45.............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:50 .....................Judge Rinder 17:50 ...................... Take Me Out 19:00................. You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ............... Bridesmaids 23:35................. Family Guy 00:35 ........... American Dad! 01:05............ American Dad!
22:30................. ITV News London
Hospital BBC2, 21.00
06:00 ....................... Countdown 06:45....3rd Rock from the Sun 07:35............... Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30...................................Frasier 10:05...............Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11:00 ................... The Simpsons 12:00 ...............Channel 4 News 12:05 ....... Come Dine with Me 13:05.......... Posh Pawnbrokers 14:10 ....................... Countdown 15:00............ A Place in the Sun 16:00 .... A New Life in the Sun 17:00......................Four in a Bed 17:30.................... Star Boot Sale 18:00..............The Simpsons 18:30.................... Hollyoaks 19:00.......... Channel 4 News 20:00..... The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer 21:15.......Seven Year Switch 22:20.................. Gogglebox 23:20............ Indian Summer School 00:20.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
19:55 ........... Grand Designs 21:00 .........World’s Weirdest Homes 22:35 ....24 Hours in a and e
17:00 ................... The Simpsons 18:30 .............The Simpsons 19:30 .............The Simpsons 20:00 .................... The Flash 21:00............... The Blacklist
08:25 ...............Storage Hunters 08:45............... Storage Hunters 09:10 ...............Storage Hunters 09:40 .............American Pickers 10:40 .............American Pickers 11:40 .............American Pickers 12:40 ............................. Top Gear 14:20 ............................. Top Gear 16:00 ......Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 17:00............................. Top Gear 18:00..................... Top Gear 19:00 ........................... QI XL 20:00 ................... Scrappers 20:30 ................... Scrappers 21:00 .... Would I Lie to You? 21:40 .... Would I Lie to You?
23:45 .......... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
22:00 .... The Late Late Show with James Corden
00:45..................... Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners
23:00.The Force: North East 00:00............ Air Ambulance
00:00 ................................ QI
01:45...................24 Hours in a and e
01:00......................Brit Cops: Frontline Crime
01:20 .......... Mock the Week
22:20 .... Would I Lie to You? 23:00 ...... Live at the Apollo 00:40 ................................ QI
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15............... Oxford Street Revealed 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 10:30.......... Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony 13:30 .....................BBC News 14:00.... BBC London News 14:15.................. Moving On 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:30... Money for Nothing 16:15............................Flog It! 17:15........................Pointless 18:00..... BBC News at Six 18:30... BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 19:57.........BBC News and Regional News 20:00............ MasterChef 21:00.........My Dad, the Peace Deal and Me
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22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:45..............A Question of Sport 23:15... Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth Kid 00:15......Commonwealth Games 2018
wednesday 4th April
06:00...Flog it! Trade Secrets 06:30... Money for Nothing 07:15............... Bargain Hunt 08:00 .......................See Hear 08:30..... Classic Mary Berry 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 ............Street Auction 11:45 ................ Claimed and Shamed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:15 ......... The Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food 14:00..... Trust Me, I’m a Vet 15:00..... Indian Ocean with Simon Reeve 16:00....... Patagonia: Earth’s Secret Paradise 17:00...........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00 .............. Eggheads 18:30 ... The Repair Shop 19:00........... Today at the Games 20:00.. The Secret Helpers 21:00.. The Assassination of Gianni Versace American Crime Story 21:50.. Live at the Apollo 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15.........................Golf 23:45..................Hospital 00:45.................See Hear 01:15............ MasterChef
06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 12:30............ Loose Women 13:30.. ITV Lunchtime News 13:55 ..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00...............Tipping Point 17:00.....................The Chase 18:00.... ITV News London 18:30....ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30....Coronation Street 20:00................... Britain’s Brightest Family 20:30....Coronation Street 21:00............... Benidorm 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30.. ITV News London 22:45....UEFA Champions League Highlights 23:45..................... Play to the Whistle 00:35..........Sunday Night at the Palladium
TV Guide
27 CW
06:00 ....................... Countdown 06:45 ...3rd Rock from the Sun 07:35 .............. Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 ..................................Frasier 10:05 ........ Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 11:00 ................... The Simpsons 12:00 ...............Channel 4 News 12:05 ....... Come Dine with Me 13:05 .......... Posh Pawnbrokers 14:10 ....................... Countdown 15:00 ........... A Place in the Sun 16:00 .... A New Life in the Sun 17:00 .....................Four in a Bed 17:30 ................... Star Boot Sale 18:00 .............The Simpsons 18:30 ................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ......... Channel 4 News 20:00 ............. The Supervet 21:00 ..................... One Born Every Minute 22:00 .................. First Dates 23:05 ................. Gogglebox 00:05......... Live From Abbey Road Classics
06:00...................... Childrens’ TV 09:15 ...............The Wright Stuff 11:15 ..................Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 12:10 ..........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .........................GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:15 .............. Home and Away 13:45 ....................... Neighbours 14:15...................................... NCIS 15:15................. First-Class Fear 17:00........................ 5 News at 5 17:30....................... Neighbours 18:00 .........Home and Away 18:30 .......... 5 News Tonight 19:00........ The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 20:00..................GPs: Behind Closed Doors 21:00...... Housing Yorkshire: Somewhere to Call Home 22:00........ Why Do Men Earn More Than Women? 23:05..............Murder on the Internet 00:05.............When Kids Kill
06:00...... The Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20.................. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:10................ Who’s Doing the Dishes? 07:55 ........................ Emmerdale 08:20 ........................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 08:50.................. Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:05 .............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 10:00...............St. Trinian’s 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold 12:15......................... Emmerdale 12:40......................... You’ve Been Framed! Gold 13:45.............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35... The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55 .....................Judge Rinder 18:00 ............... Take Me Out 19:30 ................ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00....Two and a Half Men 21:00.............. Hell’s Kitchen 22:55.................. Family Guy 00:25............ American Dad!
08:55............. Food Unwrapped
06:00 .............................Supergirl
07:00 .... Scrapheap Challenge
09:30........... A Place in the Sun
07:00 .............................Supergirl
08:15 .............American Pickers
10:30........... A Place in the Sun
08:00............................ Futurama
09:00 ...............Storage Hunters
11:35 .....................Four in a Bed
08:30 ................. Modern Family
09:30 ...............Storage Hunters
12:35 .....................Four in a Bed
09:30 ................... The Simpsons
10:00 .............American Pickers
13:40 .....................Four in a Bed
10:30 ................... The Simpsons
11:00............. American Pickers
14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me
11:00 ...................Warehouse 13
12:00............. American Pickers
14:40 ....... Come Dine with Me
12:00 ............NCIS: Los Angeles
13:00............................. Top Gear
15:15 ....... Come Dine with Me
13:00 .................... Hawaii Five-0
14:00 ............................. Top Gear
15:45 ....... Come Dine with Me
15:00 ............NCIS: Los Angeles
15:00 .................Sin City Motors
16:20 ....... Come Dine with Me
16:00 ....................Stargate SG-1
16:50 ........... A Place in the Sun
17:00 ................... The Simpsons
17:55 ................Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it
18:00 ....................Futurama
16:00 .....................Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge
18:55............. The Secret Life of the Zoo
20:00 .......... DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
19:55 ........... Grand Designs 21:00 ............ Vet on the Hill 22:00 ....24 Hours in a and e 23:10........... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:10.........Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10.....24 Hours in a and e
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18:30............. The Simpsons
21:00.................. A League of Their Own
17:00 ............................. Top Gear 18:00..................... Top Gear 19:00 ........................... QI XL 20:00 .......... Sin City Motors 21:00 ...... Live at the Apollo
22:00.............Golf’s Funniest Moments
22:00 ................... Room 101
23:00....The Force: North East
23:20 ................... Room 101
00:00............ Air Ambulance
00:00 ................................ QI
01:00......................Brit Cops: Frontline Crime
00:40 ................................ QI
22:40 ................... Room 101
01:20 .......... Mock the Week
My Dad, The Peace Deal And Me BBC1, 21.00
Patrick Kielty was born in Northern Ireland during the Troubles, and was only sixteen when his dad was murdered by paramilitary gunmen. Despite his loss, just 18 months later Patrick was taking to the stand-up stage in Belfast, forging a comedy career by telling jokes about life in what felt like a war-zone. Year after year, the sectarian killings continued. Then in 1998, along with the majority of the Northern Irish population, Patrick voted in favour of The Good Friday Agreement. It meant those convicted over his dad’s murder would be released from prison, but the Agreement brought a promise of peace after 30 years of conflict with the potential to build a new society based on reconciliation. Now, on the 20th anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement, Patrick wants to find out if the historic peace deal has delivered on its pledge to create a new Northern Ireland, free of the hatred that took Jack Kielty’s life. Patrick returns to his home village of Dundrum, where his dad was killed, and then travels around Northern Ireland meeting other people whose lives were shattered by the Troubles.
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TV Guide
06:00 ...................... Breakfast
thurs 5th April
www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
06:00.......... Commonwealth Games 2018
06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain
06:00 ....................... Countdown
06:00...................... Childrens’ TV
06:45 ...3rd Rock from the Sun
09:15 ...............The Wright Stuff
09:15................Oxford Street Revealed
08:30 ........................ Lorraine
07:35 ...........................Everybody Loves Raymond
11:15 ..................Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!
08:30 ..................................Frasier
12:10 ..........5 News Lunchtime
10:05 ........ Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 11:00 ................... The Simpsons
12:15 .........................GPs: Behind Closed Doors
12:00 ...............Channel 4 News
13:15 .............. Home and Away
12:05 ....... Come Dine with Me
13:45 ....................... Neighbours
13:05 .......... Posh Pawnbrokers
14:20 ......................................NCIS
14:10 ....................... Countdown 15:00 ........... A Place in the Sun
15:20 ......Concrete Evidence: A Fixer Upper Mystery
16:00 .... A New Life in the Sun
17:00 ........................ 5 News at 5
16:15 ...........................Flog It!
15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal
17:30 ....................... Neighbours
17:15 .......................Pointless
17:00 .....................Four in a Bed
16:00.............. Tipping Point
17:30 ................... Star Boot Sale
18:00......... Home and Away
18:00 .... BBC News at Six
17:00 ....................The Chase
18:00............. The Simpsons
18:30 .......... 5 News Tonight
18:30............ BBC London News
18:00.... ITV News London
18:30 ................... Hollyoaks
19:00 ........The Yorkshire Vet Casebook
19:00....... The One Show
19:00............ Emmerdale
09:15 ......... Commonwealth Games 2018 13:00 ......................BBC News at One 13:30 .................BBC London News 13:45 .................. Moving On 14:30............... Escape to the Continent 15:30 ..................... Money for Nothing
10:00...............Homes Under the Hammer 11:00.............Street Auction 11:45................. Claimed and Shamed 12:15............... Bargain Hunt 13:00.......... Commonwealth Games 2018
20:00............ MasterChef 21:00....... Not Going Out 21:30...............Still Game 22:00................ BBC News at Ten 22:30............ BBC London News 22:45................Unsolved 23:45..............Close Calls: On Camera
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10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00 .............. Judge Rinder
18:30....ITV Evening News
19:30 ............ EastEnders 19:57.........BBC News and Regional News
09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show
19:30.........................Pets 17:15...........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00............... Eggheads 18:30............Today at the Games 20:00.................. Big Cats 21:00........... Civilisations 22:00..................Match of the Day 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15.................Top Gear
20:00............ Emmerdale 20:30....The Cruise: Sailing the Caribbean 21:00..The Investigator: A British Crime Story
CW cho ice
20:00 .....Location, Location, Location
20:00.....Bad Tenants, Rogue Landlords
06:20 ..................Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 07:10 ............... Who’s Doing the Dishes? 07:55 ........................ Emmerdale 08:20 ............Coronation Street 09:25 .............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 10:20................. Nanny McPhee 12:15........................ Emmerdale 12:45............ Coronation Street 13:45 .............................. The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35... The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55..................... Judge Rinder 18:00............... Take Me Out 19:00................. You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00....Two and a Half Men
21:00 ........... Indian Summer School
21:00............Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!
22:00...................24 Hours in Police Custody
22:00.... Undercover: Nailing the Fraudsters
22:00............ Celebrity Juice
23:05................... First Dates
23:05............... 3 Days to Kill
23:50............ American Dad!
21:00.................. Family Guy 22:50.................. Family Guy
22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30.. ITV News London 22:45...........UEFA Europa League Highlights 23:45..................... Play to the Whistle
The Investigator: A British Crime Story ITV1, 21.00
19:00 ......... Channel 4 News
06:00 ...... The Planet’s Funniest Animals
In this three-part series Williams-Thomas, the awardwinning former police detective who unmasked Jimmy Savile as the UK’s most notorious paedophile, digs into several infamous missing women and unsolved murder cases, uncovering new evidence that links them to two of Britain’s most notorious killers - Peter Tobin and Angus Sinclair. He opens his investigation by exploring the case of Louise Kay, an 18-yearold who disappeared from Eastbourne, East Sussex, in 1988 along with her distinctive Ford Fiesta, after her family asks for his help. The story takes a sinister turn as he uncovers the cases of other women who vanished in similar circumstances and the true scale of the number of missing women and unsolved murder cases across the country emerges. He also investigates the unsolved murders of Anna Kenny, Agnes Cooney and Hilda McAuley - who were all abducted and killed with four months of each other in Glasgow in 1977.
08:55............ Food Unwrapped
06:00 .............................Supergirl
09:30............................. A Place in the Sun
08:00 ............................Futurama
10:30 .............................A Place in the Sun
09:30 ................... The Simpsons
11:35 .....................Four in a Bed 12:05 .....................Four in a Bed 12:35 .....................Four in a Bed 13:05 .....................Four in a Bed 13:40 .....................Four in a Bed 14:10 ....... Come Dine with Me 14:40 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:15 ....... Come Dine with Me 15:45 ....... Come Dine with Me 16:20....... Come Dine with Me
08:30 ................. Modern Family 11:00 ...................Warehouse 13 12:00 ............NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00.................... Hawaii Five-0 14:00.................... Hawaii Five-0 15:00............ NCIS: Los Angeles 16:00.................... Stargate SG-1 17:00.................... The Simpsons 17:30 ................... The Simpsons
07:00 ...........................Scrapheap Challenge 08:15............................. American Pickers 09:00 ...............Storage Hunters 09:30................Storage Hunters 10:00 .............American Pickers 11:00 .............American Pickers 12:00 .............American Pickers 13:00 ............................. Top Gear 14:00............................. Top Gear 15:00................. Sin City Motors
18:30 .............The Simpsons
16:00......................Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge
18:00 ....................Futurama 19:00 .............The Simpsons
17:00............................. Top Gear
16:50........... A Place in the Sun
19:30 .............The Simpsons
18:00..................... Top Gear
17:55 ................Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it
20:00 ..........................Arrow
19:00........................... QI XL
18:55............. The Secret Life of the Zoo
21:00 ................... Seal Team 22:00 ......... In the Long Run
20:00 ............ Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit
19:55............ Grand Designs 21:00........... The Good Fight 22:05........ The Undateables 23:10.....24 Hours in a and e
22:30 .....................Football’s Funniest Moments
21:00........................... QI XL
23:00.....................The Force: North East
23:20 ..................... Mock the Week
22:00 ............Not Going Out 22:40 ............Not Going Out
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What’s On
30th March - 5th April 2018
April
This weekend
29 CW
April
5th Jazz and Nature Photography Festival
The 5th Jazz and Nature Photography Festival #NaturaJazz takes place in the Museum of Nature and Man every Thursday during April and May. It combines spectacular photographs of nature with music from top jazz bands to produce a unique show that invites us to travel using our senses.
This year’s event sees a new 5 km distance added to the existing Half Marathon and 10.8 Km races. On the previous day (Saturday 7th April), the main square in Las Galletas hosts a Sports Fair from 10am-8pm.
from 5th April
8th April, 9am
Musuem of nature and man, Santa Cruz
las Galletas
www.museosdetenerife.org
www.mediomaratonlasgalletas.com
April
April
CANARY ISLANDS’ CHEESE FAIR
La Orotava hosts the Canary Island Cheese fair. Cheeses and cheesemakers from El Hierro are the guests of honour in this year’s Canary Islands’ Cheese Fair, which will also feature the sixth competition for cheeses from Tenerife.
until 31st march
7th-8th april
El Galeon Outlet, Adeje
Pinolere ethnographic museum & park
www.galeonoutlet.com
www.laorotava.es
April
Medio Maratón Las Galletas
Romería de San Marcos (Tegueste)
In the pilgrimage of San Marcos in Tegueste carts adorned with natural products of the field, boats, folkloric groups of all the islands, herds of cattle, yuntas of oxen, dances and oxen, that are accompanied by a great public dressed in the typical costume, participate. This pilgrimage is one of the most important encounters with the Canarian culture of the Archipelago. After the procession takes place the blessing of the cattle and the offering to the patron saint of the typical products of the field.
This weekend
UB4O in Tenerife
After the success of his last visit, the legendary British reggae and pop band UB40 returns with his live to Tenerife, in a concert that will be led by three of the band’s founding members, Ali Campbell, Michel Virtue “Mickey” and Astro.
29th april tegueste FB: Romeria de san marcos
April
14th april
until 31st march
La laguna
Siam Mall
tomaticket.es
www.ccsiammall.com
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Community News
30th March - 5th April 2018
Accion del Sol News
A tragic event
31 CW
Live Arico News
Dog of the week - Moose
LAST week was a very sad time at the refuge. These two, gorgeous dogs arrived, having witnessed the worst thing possible in their home.
A triple murder had taken place in Guaza, and we send our sincere condolences to the family concerned. Both of the dogs are in severe shock. If no relatives take them, we will do our hardest to find them a special home together, where they can begin to forget their horrendous ordeal, and learn how to be loved again. Assistance required Please contact us if you can assist in any way on 922 778630. We always need tinned dog-food for our older animals, plus blankets, towels, sheets, dog toys, collars and leads. You can call into the Accion refuge on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons, from 2-5pm, and Saturdays between 1-4pm. Find us here Accion del Sol is situated directly under the Ecological
MOOSE is a small, three-year-old male who finds himself in need of a home, through no fault of his own. He would be ideal for an apartment or small home.
Park (exit 52) on the northbound TF-1. Head for the giant windmills, and you’ll find us in the buildings on the right-hand side. E-mail
the refuge at teneriffa@ aktiontier.org or, for further details, visit our Facebook page: action tier Accion del Sol
Can you give him a forever home? Send a WhatsApp to Eugenio on 633 717480 for more information. Adopt, don't buy! Come and walk the doggies! Join the Live Arico dogwalking club on Saturday mornings from 11am. Our dogs absolutely love it, and you will, too. Send a Whatsapp to Eugenio
on 633 717480 and he will meet you there. Happy trails! Live Arico shops Come and bag a bargain at any of our three shops: San Eugenio - opposite Hotel La Nina, at Las Carabelas, near Amanda's Bar. Open every day (104pm), and now Sundays! Los Cristianos - Calle Revron, near Thistle and Dragon Bar and play-park. Open daily (10-4pm) Golf del Sur - Golf Park, just before the lottery kiosk. Open Monday-Friday (106pm), Saturday (10-3pm), Sunday (10.30-3pm). Join us on Facebook - Live Arico P.A.W.S Tenerife http://twitter.com/live_ arico http://www.livearico.com
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Community News
30th March - 5th April 2018
Cats Welfare News
Easter dangers! CELEBRATING Easter is always fun. Whether you've got a small family with just a few Easter baskets, or you're setting up a huge, Easter-egg hunt, there are certain considerations to take into account when making sure your cats are kept safe. Some items around Easter time can pose a threat, so it's important to know what they are, so we can keep our cats safe and healthy. Chocolate Chocolate and sweets should be kept away from cats, at all times of the year. While some sweets might just cause an upset stomach, chocolate is toxic to cats and can cause severe illness, and even death, if ingested. If your cat has got into any chocolates, be sure to seek veterinary attention right away. Lilies Lilies are one of the most toxic plants to cats, but they're probably the most common Easter
flower. If cats ingest the plant, flowers or even the pollen, they could face serious consequences. True lilies, like the Easter lily, cause acute renal failure in cats. Once the kidneys are damaged, cats will need special care throughout their lives, and may not even survive the illness. The best thing to do is to keep lilies out of the house. It's Easter, and here is an egg-cellent idea! Please sponsor one of our long-term foster cats, for as little as three euros a month! You can choose a cat to
support, and you'll be e-mailed a personalised “pawtificate” of sponsorship, followed by updates about how he or she is getting on. You can pay by regular standing order, a oneoff payment into our bank, or by Paypal. For further details, go to http://www. cats-welfare-tenerife. com/sponsor-faq/ or contact us by e-mail at sponsor@cats-welfaretenerife.com La Caixa Oficina 0222, Bahia Del Duque, Tenerife Within Tenerife Account number: 2100 7072 91 2200076671
From the UK & other countries IBAN Number: ES26 2100 7072 9122 0007 6671 SWIFT Code: CAIXESBBXXX Paypal info@catswelfare-Tenerife.com **Private adoption Batman is very friendly, four-month-old boy who is needing a new home. He is leukaemia negative, and happy to live with both dogs and cats. He is a very handsome looking kitten, who loves a cuddle and to play with his toys. For more details, and to arrange to meet him, contact
Dalila on 6973 42187. **Cats Welfare Tenerife cannot except any liability for the suitability, fitness or health of any cat/kitten adopted privately. Our shop We always need cat food, litter, old newspapers, sheets, towels, bedding etc for the cats and kittens in our care, and also good quality/condition items for sale in our shop. Items in good condition can be dropped into the shop on San Blas, Golf del Sur (behind Hiperdino). It is open seven days
a week, 10-6pm. If you don’t have transport, or have large, bulky items such as furniture and household effects to donate, please ring Mark on 636590557, and he will arrange collection from you. Shop volunteers We are desperately short of volunteers who can spare a few hours a week, either mornings or afternoons. Never worked in a shop before? No problem. You won't be on your own, and full training is given. Facebook PM to ask questions, or have a no-obligation chat.
Swallows’s cancer funds are soaring THE Swallows club, run by Carole and Mike Hart at the Apolo Centre, Los Cristianos, has now closed, following its busy winter season. But what a legacy their members have left, in the form of two huge donations to their favourite charities. In all, the club’s various sections raised 9,154 euros, with 4,000 euros presented to the Cancer Research Foundation at Candelaria, and 5,000 euros to Carol Salisbury’s Cancer Bus charity,
which caters for cancer suffers here in the south, who are unable to get to Candelaria under their own steam. The money left over
will start next Winter’s charity fund. Carole Hart, modestly, played down the part she and Linda Powell performed in raising a magnificent 1,160 euros for the main fund with a sponsored, tandem-paragliding flight, from a great height. They should have landed on the beach at La Caleta, but their respective pilots were unable to oblige, so they both missed the reception they would have received by their fellow Swallows.
Centro Guaidyl project is given the green light CHILDREN’S charity Helping Hands has already met its 8,000euro target to fund this year’s project for Centro Guaidyl’s under-privileged children in Granadilla. It means that every child at the centre will participate in the educational activity ROBOTICA, for free, as well as taking part in various sports. And all their summer activities and excursions will also be funded throughout their 11 weeks’ holiday. Liz Montague, who co-founded Helping Hands, presented Centro Guaidyl Director Paco Rodriguez with an 8,000euro cheque.
“He was absolutely delighted, and the children can now look forward to their newfound “activities,” she said. They will also enjoy a memorable summer, filled with fun excursions
around the island.” She added: “We will continue to work hard to support the other projects we have in place this year, so a big thank-you to everyone for your continued support.”
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Lifestyle
30th March - 5th April 2018
With Liberty Seguros, take more, get more WHETHER you are an existing or new customer of Liberty Seguros, now is the time to take out insurance cover on your car, home or life. You may ask: why? Well, until 25th June 2018, existing customers who take out a new policy, on one or all of these types of covers, can get 60-euro cashback on each one. That means, for example, if you contract a new car policy, plus a home policy and a life policy, you can get 180 euros on all three. Alternatively, if you take just one, you’ll get 60-euro cashback, or two, 120 euros, and so on. New clients will also benefit. They will get 30-euro cashback on
the first policy they take out, and, for all subsequent new policies, 60 euros each. Again, as an example, the first is a car policy providing 30euro cashback, and, if a home and life policy is contracted, too,
that’s another 120 euros, making a possible cashback total of 150 euros. There is no limit on cashback, whether you’re an existing or new customer! What better time could there be to switch
to Liberty for even greater savings and tip-top covers, for all types of insurances? Over 175,000 expat clients have already chosen Liberty as their insurance provider, and this figure grows almost every day, because of the excellent service and quality of cover clients get. The main condition is that premiums are paid by direct debit, and all cashback is credited to that same bank account. For convenience, payments can be set up both in Spain or
in your home-country bank account, as long as it is within the Single Euro Payments Area (SEPA) zone. Customers must be aware that these offers are not for renewals or replacements, and apply to new, comprehensive car, home and life insurance. In some cases, minimum premiums will apply, to be eligible for the cashback. Some other conditions may apply. Liberty Seguros will continue its commitment to reward loyalty to existing customers. We value our customers, and will do our ut-
most to offer the best service and price possible. In order to achieve this, and to assist those who prefer a more personalised service, Liberty Seguros has an extensive network of 300 brokers who are dedicated to providing friendly, expert advice. Speaking your own language, these brokers are available to discuss, face-to-face, the cover that will be right for you. With insurance, not only for car and home, but also life, pet, business, commercial, leisure, public liability and personal injury, today Liberty Seguros is considered the expat’s number-one choice in Spain. To find out more, or to receive a noobligation quote, visit www.libertyexpatriates. es. Or, to find the location of your nearest broker, simply call 91 342 25 49.
Refurbishing your bathroom
WHETHER you have just bought a property, or have had it for some time and it is looking a bit tired, you may want to think about refurbishing the bathroom. If you want to stick to the same layout, the process can be relatively simple, because you may not need to move the plumbing. This will depend on the age of the build-
ing, and it may be a false economy if you don’t check and replace any metal pipework with more modern plastic versions, while you already have the room gutted. As far as the getting the work done is concerned, you have several options. You can do the work yourself, employ other trades and deal with them directly, or get someone else to project manage for you. If you decide to undertake the work yourself, ensure that you have the technical knowledge necessary, and you will probably need
to speak Spanish in order to communicate with the various suppliers. Even if you employ the trades to do the work, you may have to move out of the property while the work is being done because of the amount of mess and disruption, especially if you only have one bathroom. If you decide to get someone to project manage for you, you can return to your home country, safe in the knowledge that everything is being done according to your instructions, with a minimum of inconvenience. Fortunately, nowadays, it’s
possible to see regular photos and even video updates, and to be in constant contact with the project manager. Consider your budget. A basic bathroom refit can come in at a few thousand euros and make an impressive difference, but, if you want a high-designer bathroom with luxury fittings, this could run into tens of thousands. Be realistic and stick to your budget, with a small, contingency fund for unexpected expenses. Think about what you want to fit into your new space. If you need storage for towels and bath products, or if you want speakers or even a TV, make sure these items are included in the original plans, rather than added as an afterthought. A project manager may have some fresh ideas for you to consider, but ensure that you tell him or her, what you are expecting. For example, someone who likes to take lengthy, relaxing baths will have different requirements from someone who only showers, and is always in a rush. Like most interior design, the colours and textures you use in
your room depend on your personal taste. Tiles are the most practical solution for walls and floors, especially here in Tenerife, where sand and suncream can combine with water to cause a disaster on carpets and other types of flooring. However, tiles don’t need to look sterile. Nowadays, you can buy tiles that look like wood or other textures, but remain easy to clean and are virtually indestructible. Wall tiles and splashbacks can be found that look more like rustic materials, or you could go for a completely-clean, minimalistic look. If your property is a holiday home, it may be better to employ a
designer/project manager who can discuss the brief with you, and see the project through to the end. This includes control of the keys and access to the property, as well as checking the quality of the work, and keeping an eye on the budget and the timescale. And consider how convenient it would be to return to the island in due course, to your brand new bathroom, without any inconvenience! All the services and products mentioned can be provided by Deco Nuevo, who will come to your home to supply free estimates, without obligation. Contact them on 922 789729.
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30th March - 5th April 2018
PO-58
Bungalow in Calle Envolvente, La Perla, Arona with heated pool Description Area – 107/437m2
Bathrooms - 2
Bedrooms - 3
Garage - 2 cars
Price:
592,000€ EPC / EEC – G
PO-60
Magnificent 5 Bedroom Rustic House in San Miguel Description Area 360m2
Bathrooms - 3
Bedrooms - 5
Garage - 2 cars
Price:
450,000€ EPC/EEC – E
PO-54
Apartment in Aneto III Parque de la Reina, Arona Description Area 80 m2
Bathrooms - 1
Bedrooms - 2
Garage - 1 car
Price:
140,000€ EPC / EEC – G
PO-62
Luxurious villa for sale in Adeje with 7860m2 of land & a private pool Description
Price:
1,980,000€
Area 368 / 7860m2 Bathrooms - 8
Bedrooms - 5
Garage - 1 car
EPC / EEC – G
Property Campus - Tenerife Real Estate & Investment Brokers - for more information about buying & selling, Energy Performance Certification, Property & Tax legal services, Construction & Refurbishments - Please don’t hesitate to contact us on invest@property-campus.com to arrange a viewing or a meeting - new building developments - coming soon. Administration Office : Av. Europa, Complejo Ocean View, Local 1.117 A/1 38670, Adeje.
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Lifestyle
30th March - 5th April 2018
37 CW
Tenerife’s marvels: some free, some expensive... By Filippo Cestaro from Tenerife Sunshine
TENERIFE is the most -talked-about island: tropical paradise or Babylonian hell? Perfect retirement haven, or landing port for party goers?
In this article, I will give you my personal, possiblyunrequired, opinion. I’ll start by describing my first impression, the day I got off the plane, five years ago, in the remote year 2013. It was a shock. I came here after living for many years in Honduras, country of wild, lush forests, white, velvety beaches and turquoise waters, and the first impact with the densely-built south was brutal. I have never before seen so many hotels, not even in Sharm El Sheikh, the Egyptian location famous for being composed of, almost exclusively, hotels.
In addition, the place where I spent my first week was horrendous. I won’t disclose the name, but it has quite a reputation among cockroaches, if you’d like to go and ask them for an opinion. Nevertheless, something has led me to stay here. We are in 2018, five years from my arrival, and I can pretty much say that I’ve learned to love this place that has now become my home. Yes, you got it right. I’ve learned to love this place! After all, Tenerife is neither Paradise nor Babylon. It is a volcanic island in the Atlantic Ocean, opposite the African coast. It is a rocky colossus that stands tall, peaking at 3700m above sea level. It is a land of wind, water, fire and earth. It is a place, far and above the definitions we humans give it. We are the ones capable of seeing the positive or the negative side, depending mostly on our mind-set and our emotions. Possibly having some advice from a passionate local guide, and knowing where
to address our attention, can help us to appreciate the good of a place, so here I am offering you a few hints and suggestions about the things that, according to me, make Tenerife a place worthy of being explored and respected. Morphology: Tenerife is the tenth-highest island on the planet. Its 3718m peak is often covered in snow during the wintertime, and you could enjoy this majestic view from a sunbathed beach. You could have a sailing excursion to admire whales and dolphins during the day, and then enjoy a
star-gazing evening, right underneath the galactic centre, with perfectly-clear air at higher altitudes. You can spend amazing days, halfway between ocean and mountain, accompanied by specialised guides. Culture and celebrations: Tenerife and the Canary Islands have been, since the days of Columbus, a place where many different cultures meet: the Spanish colonial, the Berbers and their Guanche descendants, the South American one. All of them left a mark on the island. Today, Tenerife is a multicultural hub. You could be sipping a “cortado” coffee, whilst chatting in English, Spanish or Italian, just to name a few of the languages spoken on the Island; a true example of “globalisation”, in the most positive sense. Tenerife is also the scenography for one of the biggest carnivals in the world: the carnival of Santa Cruz. If you haven’t been there yet, this is something to be seen. Given the size and importance of the
event, I recommend using a reputable agency to organise your excursion to the carnival. Last, but not least, the Romeria, the Mage Kings’ ride; there are celebrations for everybody, all year round. Honourable mention to the gastronomy; rich and tasty, influenced by continental Spain and South America, including thousands of local delicacies - “arepas”, “puchero canario” and “quesillo”, to name just a few. And that’s not all. Thanks to tourism and modernisation, in this case, you will be able to find the best, international culinary traditions, as well as a firmament of Michelin stars for the most demanding taste buds. All this, and much more, just a few hours away from the main, European cities. Come to visit our offices in Los Cristianos, where you will find the best excursions of the island at the best rates, and a team of people who love Tenerife and will show you its best side. www.tenerifesunshine.com
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Wine and Dine
30th March - 5th April 2018
Lagarto, Avenida Las Gaviotas, La Caleta, Adeje Tenerife
Lunchtime at Lagarto #letsmaketime
By Tara Scarlata LAGARTO Restaurant and Cocktails has launched an amazing, new, lunchtime set menu, and, being fantastic value for money, it would have been foolish of us not to have given it a try. They offer three options: (A) A starter and a main course - 12.95 euros (B) A starter, a main and a dessert -15.50 euros (C) A starter, a main, a dessert and two cocktails (from a selection) - 19.50 euros The menu is available from 1.30-5pm every day, and will change on a fortnightly basis. There is also the option of ordering from the main evening menu, as well. Situated in the small, picturesque, fishing village of La Caleta, you’ll find this fresh, modern, family-friendly restaurant serving international cuisine. It’s the perfect spot for a relaxed lunch and catch-up with friends. I was joined by Chris, the Canarian Weekly editor, for a relaxing Friday lunch; just what was needed after a
busy week in the office. We started the meal with a couple of cocktails, a Bellini and some Hugo Bubbles, which is a very refreshing mix of
passion fruit, lime and Prosecco, a perfect way to get the conversation flowing. For my starter, I had the roasted-pump-
kin soup, served with crème fraîche. It was rich in flavour, with a touch of cumin that really set it off. Chris had the meatballs, and they were packed full of flavour; perfectlycooked, mouth-watering, succulent lamb, mixed with herbs and spices, served with a zingy tomato-and-basil sauce and bruschetta. The whole dish was delicious. For the main, I had the vegetarian option of ricotta, aubergine and boletus mushroom conch pasta. It was cooked perfectly, with a lovely earthy sauce and a creaminess from the sprinkled ricotta. We also had the braised pork cheek and bacon burger. This was the standout dish for me; lovely, soft, meltin-the-mouth pork with a smoky flavour from the bacon, an Asian flavour from the teriyaki sauce, with a peppery freshness from the rocket, and all wrapped up in a lovely, fresh, seeded bun. The burger was served with triple-cooked chips that were perfectly crispy on the outside, and fluffy in the centre. For dessert, we had a gorgeous, strawberry cheesecake. The base was crumbly and buttery, with a few, surprise strawberry pieces. The topping was light, fluffy and creamy, and garnished with dried straw-
berries. It was the perfect end to the meal; light, refreshing, tasty - and a little indulgent! Lagarto’s Lunch is unique in Tenerife because it offers fresh, international, top-quality food and fantastic cocktails, all at superb prices. With the menu regularly changing, I can’t wait
to come back and see what else they have on offer. They have created a hashtag for their lunch, #LetsMakeTime, and there really is no better excuse to stop putting off that lunch date you have been meaning to arrange for so long, and come and try this amazing menu.
Oyster Catcher Angel, the owner of The Oyster Catcher, has had restaurants for over 25 years, and now he has brought all that experience to The Oyster Catcher. Angel and his English-speaking team pride themselves simply on good food made from the freshest ingredients. Specialising in amazing flambés, both sweet and savoury, The Oyster Catcher also offers salads, pastas, meat and fish with prices to suit all budgets. Come and try and decide on your favourites for yourself.
www.oystercatcher.es info@oystercatcher.es facebook.com/TheOysterCatcherTenerife
El Mirador, Los Cristianos
Open: 10.45am - 11pm
Call: 922 788 038
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Wine and Dine
30th March - 5th April 2018
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The Swan Fresh food served 7 days a week, all with goodquality produce. We also cater for any special requirements. Daily Specials. Friday: Cod and chips night. Sunday Lunch: 12noon - 8pm. Bookings advisable. 24hr-notice for paella, lamb shank, fillet steak or ask us for anything you fancy. Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings. Great entertainment, even greater value!
Come and join us on our smart new terrace. Sample a meal from our new improved menu or just enjoy a drink from our extensive cocktail menu. Live music on Wednesday and Sunday evening. Happy Hour everyday from 5.30pm - 6.30pm. All major sports events Castle Harbour, Los Cristianos can be seen on the TV’s inside the snack bar area. Open: 9am - 11pm, kitchen open, 9am - 10pm Food served all day including full English breakfast, burgers, salads and snacks. From the evening menu choose one of our succulent grilled steaks or one of our other mouthwatering choices.
Tel: 922 750 949
In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos
Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm
Call: 603 164 862
Fusion Restaurant
Ace Cafe Rock and Blues bar in Puerto Colon. Live Music every Saturday night. Specialising in Belgium beer. Follow us on facebook at ACE CAFE Tenerife Puerto Colon, upstairs next to the Slowboat Open: 3pm til late
Call: 600 85 61 03
A unique new restaurant bringing a muchneeded, fine-dining experience to Amarilla Golf. Gourmet food at prices you can afford. An international restaurant with romantic charm, Fusion restaurant is one of the most entertaining restaurants in the south of Tenerife. Not only host to plush tapas-inspired plates, classic international dishes and organic matured meats from Giuseppe, a well established butcher in Los Abrigos, Fusion hosts a regular roster of live music. Fairways Club, Amarilla Golf. Open: Daily 9am - 11.45pm
Call: 922 70 80 69
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www.canarianweekly.com 30th March - 5th April 2018
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Puzzle / Classified
30th March - 5th April 2018
Sudoku X Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid. 2 3
30-Second Brain Training Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds. Good Luck! Beginner Starter Number
1
2
3
÷4
+38
x2
6
7
9
+14
8
50%
24
of this
-17
x5
2
3
8
9
Starter Number
1 3 7 2 4 3 7 5 7 9
1
÷9 +127 ÷5
72 6
7
+46
7/13 of this
-16
x3
Answer
x3
97
1
2
3
x3
-235
6
7
8
5
4
x6
-13 Answer
Advanced Starter Number
-137
1 3 8
÷2 +183
5
4
x3 +132
57%
of this
Answer
9
23/25 of this
Beginner
9 4 2 1 8 2 7
Starter Number
1
And 2 normal sudokus for you as well...
6 4 5 3
1 7 9 8 6 1 8 5 9 2 5 4 1 7 9 1 7 5 8 3 7 2 6 1 8 5 6 9 2 3 9 7
3
÷2
+22
÷3
6
7
9
+28
8
of this
20%
-9
x13
2
3
1
7 4 1 4 6 8 5 2 8 3 7 2 4 5 2 5
3 9 7 7 6 8 2
Find the answers to these puzzles on our website
www.canarianweekly.com
-14
x6
Answer
5
4
14
x3
+54
÷3
6
7
of this
40%
-24
9
+16
8
x9
1
2
3
x2
4
+34
5/6
8
9
x4
-16 Answer
Advanced
551 -412 6
73%
of this
7
-55
÷7 +412
5
of this
-60
Answer
Classified
to advertise here call 822 14 15 17 cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.
Call us now on 678 451 641
cars for sale (cont.)
8 6 2 3
5
4
Intermediate
Starter Number
3 7 8 5
2
82
Starter Number
4
-72
Intermediate
5
4
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property
to advertise here call 822 14 15 17 property for rent
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Service Point
30th March - 5th April 2018
chiropodist
Service point
Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570
air-conditioning
Elaine Watson-Jones MSSCh MBChA. Experienced qualified Chiropodist based in Tenerife over 20yrs, offers home/ hotel visits in most areas of the South. Tel: 608 029 790. Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com
to advertise here call 822 14 15 17
HAPPY FEET TENERIFE by Mireille. Fully quilified. 100% hygienic and painless treatments by using a podo spray motor and modern equipment. Appointments available in Medical Center Yucca Park in Fañabe, home visits in the South also available! Call 650645594 (also whatsapp) FB page Happy Feet Tenerife. Very good references!
cleaning
garden furniture
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The dream’s still alive CD Tenerife 2 Lorca 0
By Colin Kirby
CD Tenerife review
TRY telling Tenerife and their fans that promotion is an unrealistic dream, because they don’t give up easily, especially in front of a bumper 15,131 crowd. And the team were back to winning ways, with this success over second-bottom Lorca. The players showed dogged determination to keep hounding the play-off pack, and, though this wasn’t a classic, home performance, Lorca were spoilers who dragged the game down. But the gap to that elusive, sixth, play-off place is back down to four points. This match was a potential banana skin, so Tenerife’s early goal was most welcome. Captain Suso latched on to a ball from Alberto, outmuscled a defender and outwitted keeper Dorronsoro after five minutes. Lorca, the second division’s worst travellers, had little to offer, sending a few, aimless balls in the vague direction of striker Apeh. The home defence was solid, with Carlos Ruiz back from suspension, and Luis Perez side-lining Apeh for much of the first half. Longo ploughed a lone furrow up front for Tenerife, and he did well to bring down a loose ball and backheel it, but there was no one to feed off his expertise. Keeper Dorronsoro dropped a high ball that went unpunished, and Apeh headed wide after finding, finally, some space. Alex Mula demonstrated his wing wizardry again, beating three defenders before slinging the ball in. But the keeper nicked it out of the air. Poor Apeh was having a bad day, and Alberto robbed him twice in quick succession, as he tried to wriggle past. But Tenerife kept the pressure on by playing fullbacks Raul Camara and Luis Perez high up the field, which made life uncomfortable for Lorca. Bryan Acosta increased his influence on the game in the second half, and it paid off. The young Honduran was sharp to convert a
CD Marino
Yassine strike not enough Las Zocas 1 CD Marino 1
Mula pass into a well-taken, second goal, after 61 minutes. Home coach Joseba Etxeberria used the lead to make a couple of changes, Inaki replacing Suso, and Juan Carlos Real taking over from Alex Mula. Both departing players were given a rapturous round of applause as they left the field. Lorca did enjoy a late spasm of activity, tickling the gloves of Dani Hernandez with a couple of weak shots. At the other end, keeper Dorronsoro made the best save of the game. A Tener-
ife header from their final sub, Malbasic, was destined for the bottom corner of his goal, before he flicked it aside with an agile dive. Fede Vega should have made a late exit for Lorca after a rugby-style challenge, but the game ended as a solid day’s work for Tenerife, who collected the points with a clean sheet, and had no new suspensions or injuries. Sunday sees another big outing for Tenerife, who face a crunch match at Osasuna, another close rival for a play-off spot, with a 3pm kick-off.
EASTER is always a busy time for footballers, and, after a weekend off, Marino were back in action on Wednesday. Striker Yassine gave them a good start with a seventhminute goal, and they held on well in the opening half, keeper David making some important saves.
But the second half began poorly for them, Las Zocas fighting back to win a penalty just after the restart. Cherre scored from the spot, and the match remained level, leaving Las Zocas in ninth place, and CD Marino two behind them. This Sunday, it’s back to home action for Marino. who welcome Santa Ursula for a noon kick-off.
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Women’s Football HOSTS Granadilla, who were 3-0 down after 20 minutes, were upstaged completely by rampant league leaders Atletico Madrid. The home side’s stronger second half restricted the final score to 4-0 last Sunday. But it wasn’t quite what Egatesa Granadilla had in mind for the 2,000 fans, in their San Isidro ground. As good as Atletico were, Granadilla came out flat, and failed to give a good account of themselves with their normal, attacking flair, in the first half. Two minutes in, a deep ball from the halfway line was met by Sonia, as she split two, home defenders and scored from a tight angle. Worse was to come as Amanda Sampedro fired the ball across the goal from the corner flag, Esther turning it into the net. Atletico, looking supremely confident, were stroking the ball around, and not afraid to play a couple of back-passes to build further raids. And Amanda showed she could score as well as create. Cindy Garcia hesitated in the home defence, losing the ball, and Amanda seized on it, rounding keeper Pili Gonzalez to add a third strike.
45 CW
Blitzed… in 20 minutes Granadilla Tenerife 0 Atletico Madrid 4 fired wide with a long shot. Jackie Simpson was defiant in defence, and broke up several Atletico attacks, as well as supporting her forwards at corners. There was another blow for Granadilla, when sub Ange Koko was hacked down by Marta Corredera, and leapt back up to confront her attacker. It was more pushing than anything, but
But Atletico weren’t just about skill. They proved to be a tough side as well, targeting Maria Jose Perez as the main, home threat. A crunching clash of bodies left Maria Jose needing a clean shirt, after a bloodied nose. Granadilla did tighten up at the back, but Pili had to make a great save at the feet of Sonia. And, up front, Maria Estella headed
the ref sent both off with straight, red cards. Pili defied Sonia again, and almost kept the Madrid tide at bay. But a danger ball wasn’t cleared by two leaping defenders in injurytime, and Viola nipped in to make it 4-0. Granadilla have another tough game on Sunday, away at Barcelona at noon, and they will certainly be aware of the task they face.
wide from a rare, home attack. Half-time must have come as a relief, and coach Toni Ayala will have reminded his players how good they have been this season, because they came out for the second half in a positive mood. Eva Llamas had a strong shout for a penalty when she was blocked, bearing down on goal, and Silvia Doblado
It’s Yelas, all the way By Andy Maughan MANY congratulations to Yelas Travellers, who are champions of the Second Division, with a game in hand.
They secured the title by beating Bar Leones 9-3, to complete their magnificent, debut season, having lost just three matches. Yelas, unbeaten for five weeks, have proved worthy winners, and a special mention for Pe-
ter Corton, who finished second in the overall stats, on 71%. This week, First Division Clouseaus Bar gained their first away win of the season, beating Scruffy Boys 7-5. And it was all down to a monumental effort by Tim Clark and George Warrender, who, between them, won six of their seven games. It looks as though the First Division title will be settled in the final week of the season.
DIVISION 1 RESULTS
DIVISION 2 RESULTS
Legends (B) H - W Grandee O´Donnell Loch Inn A P - P Legends A Nauta Nomads P - P Britannia Inn Scruffys Boys 5-7 Clouseaus Union Bar A - W Scruffy Macs A division 1 Table
Happy Days 6-6 Nauta Rejects P - P Reef 6-6 T.P.T 6-6 The Hunters 6 - 6 Yelas Travellers 9 - 3
Table P W D L F A +- PTS
BBJs United Bar Nauta Mad Hatters Britannia Bar Loch Inn B Bar Leones
division 2 Table
1 Legends A
18 14
1
3 132 74
58
43
Table P W D L F A +- PTS
2 Legends (B)
20 11
4
5 131 97
34
37
1 Yelas Travellers
21 17
1
3 155 97
58
52
3 Scruffy Macs A
18 12
1
5 116 88
28
37
2 Mad Hatters
21 14
4
3 149 99
50
46
4 Legends Elite
16 10
3
3 115 77
38
33
3 Loch Inn B
21 14
3
4 147 99
48
45
5 Nauta Nomads
15
8
2
5 98
82
16
26
4 Reef
20 10
4
6 133 107 26
34
6 Loch Inn A
16
6
2
8 85
89
-4
20
5 Nauta Rejects
20 11
1
8 127 113 14
34
7 Scruffys Boys
19
5
5
9 99 123 -24
19
6 Britannia Bar
21
8
5
8 127 125
2
29
8 Britannia Inn
17
6
2
9 94 104 -10
18
7 Bar Nauta
20
6
6
8 117 123 -6
24
9 Clouseaus
16
4
1 11 81 111 -30
13
8 T.P.T
20
5
7
8 113 127 -14
22
10 Grandee O´Donnell 15 4
1 10 65 103 -38
11
9 The Hunters
21
5
6 10 116 136 -20
21
11 Union Bar
4 13 60 128 -68
6
10 Bar Leones
21
6
3 12 105 139 -34
21
two weeks to find out who takes the top honour.
11 Happy Days
19
2
3 14 83 139 -56
9
12 BBJs United
21
2
3 16 88 156 -68
9
18
Next week, it’s the Easter break, so we’ll have to wait
1
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Scruffy’s just as smart! AS another season Dennis’ team won just draws to a close, it one game. is huge congratula- Gaffer’s final game, at tions to Scruffy Macs, home to The Pub, folwho retained the First lowed the usual, close Division title, losing result between these just once during the sides. But the away campaign, and to Leg- team triumphed in the ends, who took the trebles, for a fine 5-3 Division Two trophy outcome. after a season-long Boothen finished battle. the season at home Picasso’s travelled to against Ourplace PlayScruffy’s, with Per win- boys, who lifted their ning the only game game and took a share with a 120 check-out, of spoils, with an excelwhile Tom hit another lent 4-4 draw. maximum in the 7-1 The Loch-In A had to win. up their game when Spear Chuckers had a Sundowners came to catch-up game against San Blas, and Paul Gaffers, who came out showed the way with on top with a fine 5-3 his maximum. The rest win, thanks to Tomo’s followed to gain a 7-1 180. home win. The Chuckers then Nauta Nomads welwelcomed The Tav- comed Legends, who ern A, and found their were looking for a win game as they brushed to secure the honours, aside the visitors 7-1. and the title! And Pas O Nadas A hosted there were no surprisPalms Pool Bar, and, es as they won 8-0. in a one-sided match, Another Nauta side, Canarian Weekly Handicap Trophy Final 06/04/2018
division 1 ResultS
division 2 ResultS
Spear Chuckers 3-5 GafferS Gaffers 3-5 The PuB The Loch-In A 7-1 SundownerS Ourplace Playboys 4-4 BootheN Pas O Nadas A 7-1 Palms Pool BaR Scruffy MacS 7-1 PicassoS Spear ChuckerS 7-1 The Tavern A
The Red Devils Buzzin B’S Bar Leones ClouseauS Nauta NomadS
8-0 Lady MacS 5-3 Pas O Nadas B 7-1 Ourplace PlaygirlS 3-5 The Loch-In B 8-0 Naughty Nautas 6-2 Marilyns B 0-8 LegendS
division 1 Table Table P W D L F A +- PTS
division 2 Table
1 Scruffy Macs
28 23
4
1 171 53 118 171
Table P W D L F A +- PTS
2 Boothen
28 21
4
3 161 63
161
1 Legends
30 22
5
3 168 72
96
168
30 21
5
4 164 76
88
164
98
3 The Pub
28 18
5
5 152 72
80
152
2 Sandys
4 Gaffers
28 18
5
5 147 77
70
147
3 Marilyns ‘A’
30 22
2
6 153 87
66
153
147
4 The Red Devils
30 18
5
7 149 91
58
149
30 17
6
7 144 96
48
144
5 Pas O Nadas ‘A’
28 18
4
6 147 77
70
6 Phoenix Bar
28 20
1
7 146 78
68
146
5 Buzzin B’s
7 Spear Chuckers
28 17
1 10 142 82
60
142
6 The Loch-In ‘B’
30 16
7
7 137 103 34
137
114
7 Pas O Nadas ‘B’
30 13
7 10 133 107 26
133
8 Naughty Nautas
30 14
5 11 127 113 14
127
8 The Loch-In ‘A’
28 14
2
12 114 110
4
9 Ourplace Playboys 28
9
6 13 91 133 -42
91
10 The Tavern ‘A’
7
4 17 81 143 -62
81
9 Ourplace Breakaways 30 14 4 12 119 121 -2 119
73
10 Marilyns ‘B’
30
8
4
18 108 132 -24
108
30
9
8 13 104 136 -32
104
11 Picasso’s
28 28
8
2 18 73 151 -78
28
5
3 20 71 153 -82
71
11 Nauta Nomads
13 Emerald Lounge 28
4
3 21 68 156 -88
68
12 Lady Macs
30
8
4 18 97 143 -46
97
30
5
6 19 91 149 -58
91
12 Palms Pool Bar 14 Waterfall
28
0
5 23 61 163 -102
61
13 Bar Leones
15 Sundowners
28
2
3 23 55 169 -114
55
14 Clouseau’s
30
5
9 16 87 153 -66
87
15 Nutty Nautas
30
2
4 24 77 163 -86
77
Naughty’s, were on the wrong end of a whitewash, inflicted by Bar Leones, and a Pas O Nadas B (645) v (901) Phoenix Bar similar score was reTo be played at The Loch-In corded at Marilyn’s A, who breezed past Canarian Weekly Handicap Plate Lady Macs to finish Final 06/04/2018 Gaffers (933) v (677) Buzzin B’s the season on a high. To be played at Picasso’s Pool Bar Ourplace BreakaAll Handicaps will be published on Monday 26th March 2018. Handicaps are shown in brackets. These matches can not be postponed. ways also finished Normal rules apply. 5 singles and 2 doubles, best of 3 legs. in fine form, with a All legs must be played even if one team is in a winning position.
Basketball
superb 5-3 win over Pas O Nadas B. The Buzzing B’s were hoping for a home win in their last game, but The LochIn B came away with a fantastic 5-3 success. The Red Devils also recorded a solid 7-1 victory against
16 Ourplace Playgirls 30 4
visiting Ourplace Playgirls, and Clouseaus finished with a strong 6-2 win against Marilyn’s B. All appears to have gone well this season, with more of the excellent banter, as well as some brilliant
3 23 62 178 -116 62
darts. And, whether you have had a good, bad or indifferent season, thanks to all who participated in one form or another. Here’s looking forward to the finals, and Presentation Night.
Women’s Volleyball
Wobbly win is a relief Iberostar Tenerife 77 Joventut 75 GRATEFUL but not satisfied… that just about sums up the mood in the Iberostar Tenerife camp, after the team ended a losing streak last Saturday in La Laguna. It was a time for players to step up and show their character, and some unlikely heroes took centre stage. An 18-10 first quarter laid the foundations, and the 15-17 reverse which followed, just about kept things on track. The 26-19 thirdquarter win was Tenerife’s best part of
Marilyns A Ourplace Breakaways
the game, so maybe all was well after all. But no! Coach Fotios Katsikaris suffered a relapse in the final quarter as the home side just about hung on, despite losing that last section 18-29. And that is sure to haunt him in the following weeks, as
his players attempt to climb the table. The big guns were again not firing, so it was down to the likes of Kositas Vasilaidis to steer Tenerife to safety. He was the welcome Greek, bearing gifts for his coach and fellow countryman. Petit Niang, Senegalborn but Tenerifedeveloped, also won special praise for his gutsy, eight-point contribution. The result puts Tenerife in ninth position, but still way below where they expect to be in Spain’s elite Endesa League.
Final fling falls flat ARONA Tenerife Sur were just three points from closing their return season to Spain’s Premier League with an away win. But it has still been a rewarding campaign
for the ladies, with more peaks than troughs. A short trip to Gran Canaria’s CV 7 Palmas saw the home side gain revenge for an earlier defeat in Tenerife, winning
the five-set clash 3-2. It was so close all the way, with quarters of 2025, 27-25, 19-25, 25-20, along with the nail-biting decider, which finished 16-14 to the home team.
Kickboxing
Pride of San Miguel THEY breed them tough in San Miguel, but even the world of kick-boxing must be impressed by the quality of fighters coming from the small town, a few miles up from Las Chafiras. Cathayasa Delgado has just become a world
champion, and holder Jonay Risco defends his world title in May. Cathayasa won her World Pro-Am crown in the 57kg category in Bangkok, against American Danielle Butler. And Jonay is training hard for his Enfusion fight-night, on 5th
May at the Recinto Ferial hall in Santa Cruz, where tops the bill against Davit Kiria. The high-profile fight is his reward for demolishing Buakaw Bangchameg to claim his world crown at Yas Island, in Abu Dabi, in the Under70kg category.
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