Cw issue 843

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Issue 843 7th March - 13th March 2014

What is the truth?

Inside this week...

See story on page 3

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RIDDLE OVER STAGPARTY MAN’S COMA AN air of mystery hangs over a stag-party reveller who was left in a coma after a night out with his pals in Playa de Las Americas.

Police insist that 31-year-old Andy Openshaw and a friend, who had been drinking with the group, became separated from them and dived into an empty swimming pool on their way to back to where they were staying.

Andy, from Leigh, in Lancashire, suffered severe injuries to his head and back, while his mate got away with a broken ankle and can’t remember a single detail.

Andy was put on a lifesupport machine immediately and had been given just 48 hours to live, which prompted his horrified parents to fly out immediately to be by his side.

Now, however, thanks to an incredible fundraising campaign which yielded 31,000 pounds, he has been flown home and is still in a coma at Liverpool’s Walton Centre, but his hopes of survival have been raised by doctors.

The incident happened on 31st January, his first night in Las Americas, and police wrapped up their investigation after just two days.

But his father, Simon, told the Wigan Evening Post that he wasn’t happy with the official police report.

It claimed that the two men were on the road outside Tramps bar when they saw a pool belonging to nearby apartments.

They then, supposedly, scaled a wall, which was topped with barbed wire, and dived into the unlit pool. A Romanian security guard apparently shouted warnings to them but this was met with aggression from Andy.

But Simon said: “Anyone who knows Andrew will know that there is not an aggressive bone in his body. If the police hadn’t told me this, we would have never uncovered all the other lies.

“We were always unhappy with the suggestion that he dived in.

We knew he had gone backwards, maybe been punched, but nobody over there was saying so.

“The first consultant we saw, Mr May, specialises in head trauma. He sees car accidents, bike accidents, jockeys, boxers, everything.

“He sat us down and said that they think Andrew will survive with some small quality of life.

“The second bit of news they had blew us all to bits. It was revealed that Andrew has fractured eye sockets, cheekbones and jaw sockets.

“He’s also got two bro-

ken fingers and a dislocated knuckle. He told us that Andrew has been viciously attacked. He’s been kicked around the eye sockets, the cheekbones, the lower jaw and he’s got front-temple fractures, as well as the main impact where he has gone into the pool.

Mr Openshaw added: “The consultant confirmed that Andrew didn’t dive into the pool, but that he was probably pushed in unconscious. I think he was rolled in.

“This guy has written us a statement saying no way did Andrew go into that pool consciously. He elaborated that the injuries to his fingers and knuckle are from when he has obviously tried to shield his head.”

The findings at the Walton Centre have Simon’s grave reservations about the police investigation.

His son’s wallet was never found and a witness report suggesting he was uncharacteristically aggressive before the incident further compounds family suspicions.

Simon said: “The police say they climbed a twometre wall with barbed wire on, but the gate was

broken and open and has been for the past five years.

“Why would anyone climb a wall when there is a perfectly good gate you can walk through? It would also be like crawling up a wall of razor blades and there was no indication on his clothing he had.

“The second police fact was that they saw the pool from the road, which is impossible. It cannot be seen from the road from any angle.”

After gathering this evidence, a meeting was arranged between the British consulate, Mr Openshaw’s parents and the police involved.

“We looked more closely at the police report,” said Mr Openshaw. “I asked them two questions: When did the emergency call go in and what was the police arrival time?

“They told me the emergency call came through at 1am and the police arrival time was 12.45am.”

This prompted the British consulate and the Openshaw family to raise more concerns. But they were promptly asked to leave the station, with

the police insisting they would deal with the British police only through Interpol.

The family are now questioning the validity of witness statements from the security guard and a Moroccan and are now desperate for the investigation into the incident to re-open.

However, this can only be done by the Spanish police with the British police unable to intervene without their say-so.

Wigan Evening Post reporter Greg Farrimond, who has covered the story from the off, told Canarian Weekly: “There inconsistencies with the police report and I believe a new investigation should be held.

“A lot of what the police have said simply does not add up and, having met his family, I can believe Andy is a gentle person and not one given to aggressiveness.

“His father comes across as a very intelligent man, and he has obviously spotted flaws in the police case.

“I really hope there will be a new probe, but I’m not so sure there will be.”

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Allanah comes to the rescue JO BULL admits her 11-year-old daughter is painfully shy, which is why she sat up and took notice when Allanah bellowed at her.

“But I knew something was up when she said loudly, ‘Mum, I’m TELLING you someone is in trouble and she’s calling for help’.”

Jo swiftly alerted a security guard, who traced the pensioner to a second-floor apartment and called for an ambulance immediately.

Within minutes the woman, with her right leg in a splint, was on her way to the Green Clinic for treatment and, to Jo’s knowledge, was still there yesterday (Thursday).

Jo added: “I knew there was a problem because Allanah has never raised her voice to me before. It was right out of character as she really is a shy girl.

“But she must have acute hearing because she was nearly 100 metres away from the lady’s apartment when she heard her crying out.”

Allanah, far from regarding herself a little heroine, said: “I knew I’d heard a woman call-

And that’s why a desperate old lady, who had broken her leg in a fall inside her apartment, was rushed off to hospital for treatment this week.

Jo, who runs the Brewers Droop, in Las Americas with husband Dean, also owns the Summerlands pool bar in Los Cristianos, where she works on Monday.

Allanah, enjoying her half-term holiday, was lazing in the pool when she heard faint cries for help in the distance.

The youngster reacted promptly, climbing out of the pool and running to tell her mum someone was in trouble.

“I told her she must be imagining it because no one else around the pool had said anything,” said Jo.

Winter sales successful TE N ER I F E ’ S high street enjoyed a post-NewYear boom, but while sales figures were up year on year, they were below market forecasts.

The winter sales, which started on 7th January, ended yesterday (Thursday), and, according to the Federation of Urban Areas Canary (FAUCA), who monitor such activity, sales in Tenerife were up 5% against last year’s figures.

As expected, the South’s tourist areas enjoyed the best re-

sults. Abbas Moujir, FAUCA Secretary General, said: “The southern part of Tenerife was where the best results were recorded during this sales period, thanks to tourism.

“The North was not as good, because it continues to record very weak consumption. The metropolitan area had some ups and downs but, on the whole, sales were better than in 2012.”

The sales’ season started with a bang in January and then tailed off, and Moujir added: “More sales were recorded during the first 15 days.

“This period coincides with the changes

after Kings Day, and the pull of the postChristmas shopping.

It has been going on in recent years.”

He stressed that the slight increase in sales was a symptom of the “slow” recovery beginning to show in the Islands.

“Although we are still far from out of the crisis itself, there is a small improvement,” he said. “But domestic consumption remains weak in the archipelago.”

Sale periods are strictly monitored in Spain and the next chance of cheaper goods comes in the summer sales, from 1st July to 31st August.

ing out and I wanted to get help for her. I didn’t know where she was, but I could hear which direction the calls were coming from.

“I know my mum didn’t believe me at first, so I had to shout a bit to let her know.

“There were about six people around the pool, and a couple of maintenance men chatting nearby, but they obviously didn’t hear the lady, either.”

Unfortunately, Jo has been unable to trace the lady’s name, and doesn’t even whether she has returned to her apartment. “I’ve asked everywhere, but no one seems to know,” she said.

“I’d never seen her before, but we’d really like to know that she’s okay now, and that’s she’s got help at home.”

If you know who this poor lady is, please contact Canarian Weekly because we are sure she would like to thank Allanah for being so diligent - and for having such incredible hearing.

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Rajoy plays his EU card MARIANO RAJOY, believes the forthcoming European elections will be hugely decisive for the future of the EU.

He was speaking at the “Project Europe” International Conference, organised in Madrid by the Berggruen Institute on Governance (BIG).

And the Spanish Prime Minister stressed: “The European Union is by far the most successful project for peace, unity and prosperity ever seen in history.”

He advocated guaranteeing and renewing the “pro-European desire and commitment” made by the vast majority of its citizens, and added: “Continued integration is the key to growth and higher employment.”

Rajoy believes that Spain and the European Union must take certain lessons from the vast financial crisis that swept across Europe, including those relating to the opinion that not enough was done by its Member States to avoid the recession.

He said: “Reformist spirit should never wane, and Europe must do more, better, more quickly and more efficiently.”

The Prime Minister also feels that a banking union, with a single-supervisory mechanism, a single-resolution mechanism and a deposit guarantee fund, must be implemented swiftly.

This action, he said, would provide the monetary union with stability, guarantee the flow of financing into our economies and avoid another crisis in the future such as the one recently

experienced. And the Spain’s leader insists the banking union must be completed with fiscal union, economic union and political union.

“We are in the midst of the greatest process of economic integration in the European Union since the Euro was created,” he said.

“And we must all endeavour to ensure that the pace of this integration is not only maintained but speeded up, because the globalised world in which we live is not going to wait for us.”

He also believes that, beyond the need to continue the integration process and, thereby, guarantee growth and employment, a number of decisions of “vital importance” to the future of Europe must be taken.

Among them, he said that a European Union with no internal borders should translate into “a real and more efficient European immigration policy”.

This would be based on increased solidarity with those countries, such as Spain, which make up its external border, with more European resources, and with an external outlook that includes dialogue with the countries of origin and transit, and development aid.

Rajoy maintains the problem needs to be tackled at source, with emigration an option and not an obligation to survive.

“Any illegal immigration taking place in certain geographical parts of the EU, whether north or south, is not a problem or challenge specific to that location, but a problem for the European Union as

a whole,” he said. The other decisions he believes to be of vital importance include those relating to the existence of a fully effective and integrated internal market, capable of facilitating the “Europisation” of SMEs and their internationalisation; the development of a common trade policy; and leadership in the fight against climate change.

Rajoy added that there was also a need to

implement democratic control mechanisms in the European institutions, and promote a European Union capable of playing an important role on the international stage.

He went on to say that he would like the results from the EU elections in May to ensure the governability of Europe.

To that end, he said, it was important for a solid majority to be achieved in the next

European Parliament by those forces who believe in European integration; those who are committed to unity and solidarity among Europeans rather than separation or division.

The Prime Minister stressed that the European elections would be a tough challenge for Europeanism, and he warned that anti-Europeanism and demagogy aim to question certain basic principles of the

European Union, such as that relating to the freedom of movement.

“Against such positions, we must be willing to safeguard the free movement of people with the same conviction with which we saved the Euro when we needed to,” he said.

“That is just as important as the free movement of services, capital and goods, and constitutes a fundamental pillar of the Union.”

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All sytems go for tourism booster PAULINO RIVERO, Canary Islands’ President, is determined to press ahead with his Government’s plan to reinvigorate tourism.

Rivero posted on his personal blog on Sunday that the Government would adopt “all measures necessary” to prevent a situation of legal uncertainty regarding the proposals.

He went on to say

that there was “no going back” as far as he was concerned, expressing his “unwavering commitment” to the Canarian society to improve competitiveness in tourism and creating employment in the construction industry.

He added: “The Canary Islands Government will do everything possible to continue this policy and not to disappoint the expectations of thousands of people living in the Canaries, who see an

opportunity for rehabilitation work and economic progress in all the islands, without exception.”

This May sees the first anniversary of the new Tourism directive being passed. And an assessment of its success is expected, along with any amendments deemed necessary.

Rivero also insisted that the Tourism Act did not violate the European Directive on the liberalisation of services - and that it will create jobs and improve

the competitiveness of the Islands’ economy.

He understands that the hopes of “tens of thousands” of Canarians rest with the renovation of hotels, and he is keen that work can begin “soon”.

It will. he is sure, provide work for many who have been unable to find employment since the recession began.

There are currently 222 signed agreements pertaining to renovation and rehabilitation projects in the Canaries.

A Property Law reform underway Don’t mention the German figures…

BERLIN’S International Tourism Fair (ITB) is in full swing, and Tenerife Cabildo is there to boost tourism.

And little wonder because new figures have revealed a 5% drop from last year in the number of German visitors to the South.

According to Tenerife Tourism Corporation stats, 557,670 visitors from Germany chose Tenerife for a holiday in 2013 - a drop of 2.7% over 2012.

Here in the South, there was a 5.1%, drop, with the North remaining relatively stable, Santa Cruz posting a 2% rise.

Visitors from Germany accounted for 11.2% of all visitors to the Island, in third place behind the British (31.8%) and Spanish (23.4%).

Concern has been expressed over the possibility that Germans are opting for destinations closer to home, particularly Turkey.

Ashotel (Tenerife Hotels Association) president Jorge Marichal said: “Germans are very important tourists, and we will make every effort to win them back from the closest competitors, such as Turkey.”

He went on to say that the quality of holidays on offer should be improved, particularly as Germans are seen as less likely to stay in allinclusive hotels, and ofetn opt for hiking, walking, gastronomy and tranquility.

Arona’s delegation at the fair is led by the mayor, Francisco José Niño, accompanied

by Tourism Councillor Évelin Santos, who said, “We will establish lines of cooperation, in order to attract more Ger-

man tourists to Arona.”

Adeje is represented by Rafael Dolado, whose priority is to continue renewing obsolete public and private spaces, and to invest in a quality destination, as well as increasing flights into the south.

It is the main goal of the delegation at the ITB to improve air links between Germany and Tenerife, as stated by Cabildo President Carlos Alonso, who said that there is “ample room for growth of the German tourist market, which is now our third most important.”

Meetings are scheduled between the delegation and several major tour operators, agencies, airlines, online booking services and the like, including Thomas Cook, Alltours, German Wings, Air Berlin, Trip Advisor and GoEuro.com to hopefully revive

THE first part of the Canary Islands’ Housing Bill modification was passed last week.

Its main objective is to bring a number of empty properties into the rental market - and an estimated 130,000 dwellings already fall into that category.

Further amendments will be made, and the long-term goal is to give people a constitutional right to decent housing.

Alongside the changes will be a range of penalties, which could hit public entities such as banks if they fail to make properties available to rent.

The People’s Party (PP) has opposed the bill because, officials say, it could be unconstitutional in its present form, and open to rejection by the Central Government.

A plan to create a Registry of Empty Housing is also underway, and owners could be offered incentives to release their properties into the rental market.

But the amendment will not apply to complexes developed for tourism, or those used

for seasonal-business rental, or second homes.

Owners could, however, be required to submit proof to the Canary Institute of Housing (ICV) that empty dwellings fall into one of the exempt categories.

Service and utilities providers (electricity, phone, gas, etc) may also be required to give the ICV an estimate of running costs of empty properties, not necessarily with the owner’s

consent but within the Data Protection Act boundaries.

The biggest fines, up to 300,000 euros, will almost certainly be reserved for banks and estate agencies who withhold empty properties.

Municipalities will also be subjected to the same obligations, by providing the ICV with information from the latest municipal census, or register of empty properties.

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Fabby Abbie’s our first star

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

The times really are a-changing!

IF a week is a long time in politics, then it’s been like a year for those in Ukraine. I have never seen such a change in such a short space of time.

In a matter of hours, the country appears to be dissolving in front of the world’s eyes.

It’s a heartbreaking story, and it seems as though there is a long way to go before the full story is finished.

One reporter described Ukraine as “The new Yugoslavia”. The painful and bloody break-up of that beautiful country was concluded years ago, but the bitter hatred remains.

It’s hard to see how Ukraine will NOT go the same way.

At the time of writing, MPs in the Crimea region have formally asked Moscow to allow the southern Ukrainian region to become part of the Russian Federation.

They claim their citizens want to return to being part of Russia, and they have asked for a referendum on 16th March to rubber-stamp this move. Ukraine’s interim Prime Minister, Arseniy Yatsenyuk, said the move had no legal grounds.

Russian armed forces and Pro-Russian sections of the army seem to have control of the streets. In fact, they claim that members of the Ukrainian army are technically invaders since the area is now under Russian rule.

For their part, the

Kremlin said President Putin was aware of developments, but no response has yet been made. And the propaganda war has been raging all week.

Be very careful on what you read, hear and then believe.

I have all the respect in the world for broadcaster Liz Wahl, who quit live on air this week. She said she could no longer broadcast the views of her employer, the Russian state-sponsored Russia Today channel.

In the next few days, the leaders of all 28 EU nations will meet, as will the United Nations. And let’s see what the Americans come up with.

President Obama has been in charge of a poor administration and he needs to make his mark on this. Having a hopeless Secretary of State in John Kerry doesn’t help.

The next few weeks will shape not only the future of Ukraine, and any subsequent nations that break away, but also the future European map.

Some other countries could split, and this sense of “identity” is not just an East European idea.

In the next few months, Scotland and Catalonia will vote on self-rule, something that is mooted and discussed here every single day.

What was it Bob Dylan sang?

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

ABBIE SAMPSON, just 16, won the first heat of Tenerife Loves Karaoke 2014!

The teenager came through against tough competition to win the opening heat of this popular contest, which is back for its fourth consecutive year.

Harveys Bar in Los Cristianos hosted the event, and it was a great night. The four judges which included Maggie and Colette along with compere Maggsy and 2011 TLK winner Paula, had a difficult task selecting a winner because there was little to chose between the entrants.

After the initial singoff, the top three scor-

ers moved into the last round and, again, the

standard was high.

The carrot dangled before them was a place in the grand final and every chance of winning the 1,000-euro jackpot After the final three singers performed one more tune, Ray’s excellent rendition of Billy Joel’s Just The Way You Are left him in third place.

Shaggy, who stormed Harveys with his version of Passengers’ Let Her Go, had to settle for second place as young Abbie got the judges’ nod.

She has a good vocal range, and her take on the Whitney Houston classic I Will Always

Love You booked her final slot.

Abbie, pictured receiving her winner’s trophy from Harveys owner Mandy Shaw, is from Bradford and is here on holiday, but she will be back for the final.

“I’m so pleased to have won,· she said. “It’s amazing! I thought I did well, and I am really pleased. I cannot wait to sing in the final - and it’s an excuse to come back for another holiday anyway!”

Tonight (Friday), it’s heat No.2 at Dreamers Bar in Los Cristianos.

Jamie Drew hosts and the night gets underway at 9pm!

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Contributors: Adi Benson, Carl Pattison, Emma Swain, Geoff Huxtable, Jamie Drew, Joe Ferguson, Mariano Zunino Siri, Margaret Tully, Ruth Benson, Sue McDonald, Val Sainsbury Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2014 Canarian Weekly

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Canaries buzzing with new motors!

NEW car registrations in the Canaries were up by 37.1% last month, against the same period in 2013.

Car industry associations Anfac (car-makers), Faconauto (dealerships) and Ganvam (car sellers) say it amounts to 2,465 new vehicles on the road.

There were 1,467 new registrations (up 26.2%) in Gran Canaria, while Tenerife’s, 998 total represented a 57.1% rise.

The national increase was just under 18%, and industry experts attribute the growth to the number of manufacturers offering incentives to trade in old cars for newer, more efficient ones.

The “scrappage” scheme, known as PIVE (Programa de Incentivos al Vehículo Eficiente), provided benefits of up to 3,000 euros against the price of a new car are offered in the Canaries.

In most cases, half the reduction is subsidised by the manufacturer and the remainder by the Government, and the deal is obviously appealing to many motor-

ists.

David Barrientos, Anfac’s Communications Director, called the rise “relentless,” and revealed that the Plan PIVE 5, which started on 29th January and will run until the same date next year, has been the best response to the offer since 2010.

He believes the plans are having a direct effect on the Spanish economy. And he even went as far as to say that it is one of the most efficient car markets in Europe.

Ganvam president, Juan Antonio Sánchez Torres, also enthused, saying: “The good sales figures show how assistance schemes should be maintained until the economic curve is normalised.”

He estimates that there are around two million potential buyers just waiting for a slight upturn before committing to the scheme.

But he is confident that “doors will open soon”, enabling them to take advantage of the plans.

Faconauto President Jaume Roura spoke of “a clear increase in showroom traffic” at dealerships in February,

adding: “We are also noticing more confidence among buyers, which is a big turnaround from what we saw a few months ago.” *To qualify for a PIVE benefit, the car’s owner must scrap a car that is at least 10 years old, (or older), or a commercial vehicle at least seven years old, which has been in use until the point at which it is scrapped.

Drivers must then take the relevant paperwork (certificate of destruction, and “baja” or removal of the car from the vehicle database) to a participating dealer to qualify for the reduction on a new vehicle.

This discount is set at 2,000 euros for a car or light commercial vehicle, and 3,000 euros for a car suitable for a large family (over 5 seats).

Individuals, self-employed people, small businesses and companies with under 250 employees (and net annual volume under 50 million euros) all qualify.

But remember, not all car-makers are included in the scheme, and not all models within a particular manufacturer are included.

Cabildo on right road now ALMOST six years since the widening of the TF-1 section between Santa Cruz and Güímar, Tenerife Cabildo has finally taken over the project.

The agreement between the Cabildo and the Canary Islands Government, enabling the Island’s ruling body to control the section, began on 1st January.

This means the Cabildo is now responsible for all maintenance work on the section.

But Highways Minister

José Luis Delgado is far from happy.

He is furious that no maintenance work has been carried out in three years, and his priority now is safety-first, calling the lack of upkeep “a disgrace”.

Yet in that period, Delgado says the Cabildo has contributed around 250,000 euros - most of which has been spent on landscaping the verges, and cleaning the central barriers.

Some of this has also involved weeding, and

planting native vegetation.

Delgado emphasises the need to improve security, including the removal and replacement of barriers which have been dented in traffic accidents, improving signs and road markings.

The work will cost around 600,000 euros, and he hopes it will soon begin, even though the Government will not grant the finances until 2015. “Funds have been promised,” he says.

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Will the Canaries triumph again?

Every year NASA has a public contest to choose the best picture of 2013 and once again the Canary Islands are represented. One image of the archipelago, taken on June 15, 2013 by NASA’s Terra satellite has made the final shortlist.

Last year’s winning image was of the submarine eruption along the coast of La Restinga on El Hierro, which just beat a stunning image of the breakdown of the Pine Island Glacier in Antarctica.

The winning image will be decided by a public vote. There are 32 images in the final and every week this will be whittled down first of all to 16, then 8, then 4, 2, and finally the winner.

Carnaval’s booze casualties THE Red Cross treated 425 people during the main Carnaval weekend - almost 50% because of alcohol poisoning.

The “Carnaval Hospital” has been situated for a number of years next to the Canary Islands Government building in the General Gutiérrez Mellado

square, and this year was no exception.

The hospital tended to 380 adults and 45 minors (under 18), whose illnesses and injuries were again quite diverse.

An estimated 150,000 revellers took to the streets over the weekend, with the highest number of incidents on Monday night – unsurprisingly, the night before Tuesday’s fiesta and Carnaval parade.

There was a decrease from last year in the number of under-18s treated, but of those that needed assistance, 60% were directly related to alcohol use.

The breakdown was 15% through injury sustained in falls, 11% drug abuse, 10% assault or aggression, 10% unclassified, and 5% common illnesses.

Fights were also down this year against pre-

vious years, but the National Police were called to intervene in two separate incidents on Monday; firstly, there were two arrests made for fighting, and another two for damage caused

to vehicles parked in Calle La Rosa.

Police also had to stop two youths who started throwing bottles and stones at them after they refused to turn their sound system off

within the required time frame.

During Tuesday’s parade, in which there were around 80,000 people, two pickpockets were arrested in the crowd.

Cruise chaos in Santa Cruz CRUISE passengers say a mess of construction, lack of wheelchair space, poor signage and lack of tourist information are the worst things about arriving in Santa Cruz port.

On 21st February, around 3,700 passengers arrived in the Island’s capital, many of whom attempted to disembark the MSC Armonia and the Thomson Celebration ships with varying degrees of success.

Despite a Port Authority initiative to provide cruisers with a map of the capital, showing the route out of the port, and some of the city’s most popular areas to visit, it seems that many do not pick them up, or refuse to accept them when offered.

On this particular day, the shuttle bus supposed to take passen-

gers from the ship to the end of the south pier broke down, leaving passengers cooped up in a temporary structure, surrounded by baggage - certainly not the finest of first impressions of the Island.

Things didn’t get better, either; some say they saw taxi drivers arguing over who was first in line to pick up passengers to persuade them to be taken on lucrative Island tours, or even just out of the port.

For those who decided not to take a tour or get a taxi, the long walk, following the “blue line”, began.

Major works at the port, including the building of a new terminal, means the route is rather long and winding.

It is easy to manage if you can walk, but wheelchair-users and those with children found

it very difficult.

The problems didn’t stop there. Once across the temporary bridge and on to Avenida de Anaga, passengers reported being met by people offering them maps which were almost impossible to understand, and most of which didn’t even have the Tourist Information centre marked on them. But fast-food outlets were clearly marked.

In fairness to the cruise companies, they do try to do everything to ensure the satisfaction of their passengers at every point in their holidays, providing maps and guides in passenger cabins and on in-house television.

But faced with so many perceived obstacles once off the ships, this day must have seemed more of a nightmare to many.

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Adeje is geared up for International Women’s Day 2014 ADEJE Equality councillor Juan Desiderio Afonso Ruiz has announced a series of events around the International Women’s Day celebration tomorrow (Saturday).

The theme is Más y Mejor (Bigger and Better), and activities during March will concentrate on awarenessraising, as well as a number of recreational events to celebrate equality.

Juan Desiderio says: “There is a concrete wish to show a united front in the defence of women’s rights.

“We have taken on board this campaign, developed by the Canarian Equality Institute, and have joined forces with them to make sure the message reaches all corners of our society.

“This year, we are emphasising the sensitive nature of the situation of women discriminated against in the workplace and economically.

“At the same time, we are underlining the importance of equal participation by both sexes, and for the better development of our society.”

He adds: “International Women’s Day is a commemoration, initiated to denounce specific situations where discrimination exists against women.

“It recognises their contribution to the advancement of society and uses all the tools necessary to promote and achieve real and effective equality between the sexes.”

The full programme of events is available online at www.adeje.es and they fall into two basic categories: recreational and awarenessraising/development.

This evening (Friday) at 6pm, a conference on women and art, led

by Elisa Falcón Lisón, takes place in the Adeje Cultural Centre.

It will be followed by

the inauguration of the III Art Collective exhibition by Mujeres Adeje-creativa, with the collaboration of the Adeje School of Music and Dance.

Preventing violence against women is the theme of the International Women’s Day. Not only is violence a violation of human rights, but it also amounts to genderbased discrimination that denies women the opportunity to fully participate in economic, social, political and cultural life.

And Parliament has organised several special events to call attention to this issue.

On Wednesday, the EU Parliament’s Women’s Rights committee held an inter-parliamentary meeting entitled Preventing violence against women – a challenge for all.

Together with representatives of national parliaments, they exchanged experiences and discussed legislation at national level, together with measures that could be implemented at European level.

And tomorrow (Saturday), a special dinner is being held in the Costa Adeje Tourism Development Centre (CDTCA) to celebrate International Women’s Day. During the fabulous

three-course meal Brigitte Gypen, founder of Tenerife’s Walk for Life breast-cancer charity fund-raiser, will be awarded the Abinque Prize, given annually

by Adeje Council to a woman or women who make a difference to people’s lives.

The dinner is always a fantastic evening, and, for the second successive year, men are also welcome.

Those attending will enjoy three courses of excellent food, wine, entertainment, great company, a chance to cheer for Brigitte Gypen and meet old friends and new.

And the dress code is fairly loose, so no need to rush out and spend zillions on a new dress.

Call Adeje’s Department of Equality on 922 756 244 for more information and tickets, costing 15 euros.

On 13th, 20th and 27th, a Spanish series of talks on empowering women will also be held - registration with the department is essential, but free. The course is given by Patricia G Ojeda, a sociologist and expert in equal opportunities.

Then, on 26th March, students studying for their professional certificate in Restaurant and Kitchen Operations will present a gastronomy tasting.

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Canaries go big in Africa THE Canary Islands are to be promoted in Africa as a serious tourist destination, with the emphasis on healthcare and leisure activities.

And the Canaries Government is hoping that it will be able to tempt Africa’s middle-class sector to visit the Islands.

Initially, the proposal was to promote the Canaries as a base for expanding business, but the offer of healthcare and leisure goods and services has now been added to the brief.

Pablo Martín Carbajal, Director for African Relations in the Canary Islands Government, says Africa’s middleclass are increasingly aware of the services the Islands can offer, and he believes that should ensure a successful promotional campaign.

The campaign could even be supported by the Spanish Govern-

ment to the extent that it may be considered as part of the Foreign Policy.

This is the hope, at least, of Canary Island Ministers Javier González Ortiz (Economy, Finance and Secu-

rity) and Jaime GarcíaLegaz (Trade), who are co-ordinating the promotions jointly.

Carbajal believes that if successful, it will result in Africans being able to secure travel visas quickly, with

Adeje in tune for series of concerts THE Adeje School of Music is performing a series of concerts in different cultural spaces in the borough throughout March under the Adeje Live Music title.

The first concert takes place in the Adeje Convent de San Fransisco tonight (Friday) at 8.30pm with the youth metal group from EMMA remembering “The Wonder Years”.

On the playlist are songs from Nowak, Blair, Sweeney, Mike Atory, Tito Puente, Paul Murtha and Mike Lewis. Pedro Vicente Jorge Lemes wields the baton, and the tickets are five euros.

The next concert, performed by the Adeje Municipal Band, is on Saturday, 22nd March, in the Plaza de Los Olivos.

It starts at 8pm and entrance is free.

Finally, the last date is also in the Convent at 8pm on Saturday, 29th March, bringing together students and professors of piano and voice who will perform “The Memory Corner”.

It comprises a delightful selection of melodies by distinguished artistes such as José Feliciano, Evangelina Sobredo Galanes, Consuelito Velázquez, Juan

Carlos Calderón and Álvaro Carrillo. Tickets are five euros.

Sports Councillor Adolfo Alonso Ferrera says: “The initiative is designed to liven up the borough, offer the local public a series of concerts and, at the same time, give them the opportunity to get to know the quality of the work of the students and professors of the school, and of the Municipal Band.”

Ambassadorial support.

Despite the common perception of Africa as a poor continent overall, Carbajal says people should realise that Africa has an ever-expanding middle-class sector, amounting to, he says,

around 350 million potential visitors.

A symbiotic relationship is Carbajal’s goal, with Canary Island companies relocating to the African continent, in return for the offer of services in

the Canaries by African companies.

Instead of the general feeling that Africa needs help, Carbajal suggests collaboration, particularly on joint projects which benefit both sides.

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News

End of the bus pass?

FREE bus services for the elderly and disabled people could be a thing of the past in England in the next couple of years.

That’s because local councils are finding it difficult to fund the free, off-peak travel services, and financial help from the UK Government has fallen by 39% since 2010, according to the Local Government Association.

It means councils are being forced to subsidise free travel at the cost of other essential services, added the LGA. Among the county councils cutting back on the services because of funding shortages are Buckinghamshire, Cumbria and Somerset.

Peter Box, the LGA’s Economy and Transport Board chairman, said: “The concessionary fares scheme provides a lifeline for

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

free

our most vulnerable residents to go shopping, pick up medication, attend doctor appointments or socialise with friends. However, it is now under real threat.

“Years of under-funding of the scheme forces councils to spend millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money to subsidise it.

“This is now impossible with councils having to make savings, while struggling to protect vital services like adult social care, protecting children, filling potholes and collecting bins.”

But a Government spokeswoman said: “We know that bus services are vital for many older and disabled people.

“That is why the right to free travel is enshrined in law, and Government provides funding to meet the cost of subsidising off-peak travel for these groups.

“In addition, the Department for Transport provides funding to bus operators to help more services run and keep ticket prices down.”

She added: “The current level of this funding is protected until 2015/16.”

Hitler books go for £38,700 A TWO-VOLUME set of Adolf Hitler’s Nazi manifesto Mein Kampf were bought at a Los Angeles auction for £38,700 by an anonymous bidder.

What made the clothbound volumes so special was that the Nazi leader had inscribed the pair to Josef Bauer.

He was an early Nazi party member and SS officer, and Hitler offered him his best wishes in the Christmas season.

The online bidding started at $20,000 (£11,968) and the books received 11 bids. They were written by Hitler while he was in prison for his role in a 1923 failed attempt to overthrow the Germany’s Nazi Government.

Mein Kampf (My

Struggle) protests against Judaism and communism and the two volumes were published in 1925 and 1926 respectively, before Hitler became German Chancellor.

“I think it’s very heinous,” said auctioneer Nate Sanders, who told a local TV station he was Jewish.

“But it is an auction item, a memento, a piece of memorabilia and a piece of history.”

www.canarianweekly.com 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Carnaval Carnival given the thumbs up!

The 2014 Santa Cruz Carnival is being hailed as one of the best ever.

Viewing figures on TV have been at a record level and the attendance on the streets has been higher than in recent years.

This week the traditional parade was a roaring success. The streets were packed day and night as the capital celebrated in style.

The following day saw the burial of the Sardine and all week long there have been concerts and special activities.

The Carnival concludes this weekend with more celebrations and special events and even the Prince of Spain will be in attendance!

A Piñata full of acts

and numerous musical performances will officially close the Carnival on Sunday.

Amongst the highlights this weekend are: The Guimerá Theatre hosts a ‘Song of Laughter ‘ contest, the Junior Tennis Tournament reaches its conclusion, the botanical gardens of Santa Cruz will be open around the clock due to high demand, eight groups will participate in a special closing contest at the Tenerife Auditorium Adán Martín .

On Friday night the street concerts will begin at 2300 with performances in the Plaza de la Candelaria featuring Mara Ferrandis and Moise Gonzalez along with the Guava group.

Legendary musicians Rafa Sánchez , Luis Bolin and Mario Martinez headline on Saturday night from 21:30!

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Viva Africa for Arona Carnaval!

THIS year’s Arona Carnaval, which will be staged from 21-31st March, has an African theme.

Arona Mayor José Niño Francisco Afonso and Councillor Marcos Esquivel this week presented the Carnaval Poster, which has the slogan Long live Africa, living in Arona Carnaval!

The early selection rounds to choose the Carnaval Queen have taken place and the 23-strong entry has been whittled down to a final short-list of six candidates.

Fiesta Councillor Marcos Afonso said: “We are working on Carnaval acts and we intend to increase the programming and the overall feel of the event.

“We want to work closer with citizens and tourists and ensure we have a brilliant Carnaval.”

Worth a king’s ransom!

MICROSOFT founder Bill Gates is the wealthiest man on earth again - and that’s official!

Forbes magazine’s annual global-billionaire chart crowned him the World’s Richest Person with a total net worth estimated at $76bn (£45.5bn) this year, up from $67bn (£40.2bn) in 2013.

That annual increase pushed Mexican tel-

ecoms tycoon Carlos Slim down to second place and puts Gates on top of the world for the 15th year.

In all, there were a record 1,645 billionaires, according to Forbes, which states that the funds needed to make it into the top 20 ranking are now $31bn, up from $23bn last year.

Technology firms featured heavily in the list, with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg gaining the most in net worth. His fortune

more than doubled to $28.5bn, boosted by a sharp rise in the price of the social network’s shares.

Sheryl Sandberg, the social network’s chief operating officer, also made the list for the first time.

WhatsApp founders Jan Koum and Brian Acton entered the list at number 202 and 551 respectively, thanks to Facebook’s $19bn purchase of the messaging app.

America, which houses the world’s largest

economy, continues to have the most billionaires, with 492.

Europe boasted the most billionaires outside the US, with 468, closely followed by Asia 444.

The list suggested that wealth was spreading, with four new countries featuring for the first time: Algeria, Lithuania, Tanzania and Uganda.

Nigeria’s Aliko Dangote, Africa’s richest man, became the first African to be listed in

the top 25, with a net worth of $25bn.

Landlord Gerald Grosvenor (6th Duke of Westminster) and family were the richest British family to make the list, with a net worth estimated at $13bn. He owns 190 acres in Belgravia, an area adjacent to Buckingham Palace and one of the most expensive neighbourhoods in London.

Top 10 richest people Bill Gates ($76bn): Microsoft, software Carlos Slim (72bn): America Movil, tele-

coms Amancio Ortega (64bn): Zara, fashion Warren Buffet (58.2bn): Berkshire Hathaway, investment Larry Ellison (48bn): Oracle, software Charles Koch/David Koch (40bn/40bn): Koch Industries Sheldon Adelso (38bn): Las Vegas Sands, casinos Christy Walton (36.7bn): Wal-Mart, retail Jim Walton (34.7bn): Wal-Mart, retail Liliane Bettencourt (34.5bn): L’Oreal, retail

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Unaccepted Inheritances abound

By Mariano Zunino Siri

IT’S nice to receive email from readers, and I will try to answer all of your legal questions over the coming issues.

This week, we remain on matters concerning inheritance tax, which has caught the attention of many readers.

Julie W sent an email, saying: I have read with interest your article in the Canarian Weekly recently about Inheritance Tax and I have three questions: 1. From whom or where would the inheritor find out how much Inheritance Tax he (or she) would have to pay?

2. What happens if the tax is not paid within the six months you mention?

3. What if the inheritor had insufficient funds to cover the amount required?

Thanking you in anticipation.

1. The inheritor can find out the information from the Canarian Government, Tax Department (Consejería de Hacienda del Gobierno de Canarias). The applicable table of the rates of inheritance tax of the Inheritance Tax Law (and its By-Laws) is applicable to liquidate the tax.

2. If the tax is not paid

within six months, the amount due will generate interest and fines.

There is a statute of limitation of four years on this.

3. If the inheritor has insufficient funds to cover the amount required, he can ask for a loan and more time to pay, try to negotiate the payments in instalments or, interestingly, give up the inheritance!

In relation to question

3, I found out some interesting information connected to the Inheritances transferred to the Spanish State (or Autonomus Communities).

According to the official information published, the number of “unaccepted” Inheritances has been rising since 2007. This is down to the impossibility of paying the Inheritance Tax.

For instance, the person who inherits a property worth 400,000 euros could be forced to pay up to 80,000 euro tax (depending on the cases - see my last article).

That is why many people decide not to accept their inheritance.

Bear in mind that in many cases, the inheritors receive a decent amount on paper, but not actual cash deposited in the account. Consequently, the inheritor does not have “liquid funds” to pay the Inheritance Tax. There has be an annual 20% increase of unaccepted inheritances (the rate is different in every Autonomous Community). The State receives the assets in those cases.

This information has been provided by the Statistic Information Centre of the Notary General Association.

In the Canary Island Autonomous Community, the increased rate of unaccepted inheritance was 11%. Taking into account that in 2008, the Canarian Government approved an exemption of 99% of the

tax (which technically was a full exemption) the tax was in 2011.

There are big differences between Autonomous Communities. In some of them there is no tax to be paid; in others, the payable tax is very high.

Succession tax is paid under the Autonomous Community rules if the deceased was habitually resident there, in the case of an inheritance; or, in the case of a Gift Tax. In the case of real estate in Spain owned by a non-resident, the State rules will always apply on the death of the non-resident owner.

In connection to the Gift Tax (similar to the Inheritance Tax), some Autonomous Communities (like Madrid) do not apply such tax without meaning a loss at the time of collecting taxes.

Mariano Zunino Siri is a lawyer registered in Tenerife Bar Association since 1991. Office in Los Cristianos at Edificio Valdes Center Torre “A”, oficina 1, piso 2º. Phone: 922 79 44 12.

Email: marianozuninosiri@gmail.com

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As simple as 1, 2, 4?

By Joe Ferguson

IN this age of multi-channel entertainment, we’re used to just sitting down after a long day and switching on the TV.

Safe in the knowledge that we know, with all those channels out there, we can always find something to entertain us.

Gone are the days of that old saying: “Fiftyseven channels and nothing on.”

If I had just 57, I’d be going up the walls with boredom. These days, having 100 would not be enough although, even in the dead of night, you’d find something.

But it’s the evening entertainment I’m not happy about. Even with all that choice, we still go back to the channels we all know and trust: the BBC, ITV and Channel Four.

For me, it’s BBC Three. Not just because I worked on it at the beginning when it was simply BBC Choice on the Liquid News show.

It has given us some cracking shows over the years, most famously Gavin and Stacy.

But that’s all about to change because, as we will found out, BBC

Three is to be axed from the TV output and, instead, will be seen exclusively online.

As part of BBC plans to save money the channel, which costs around £90m a year to run, will no longer be shown on terrestrial television, with shows being available online only.

I’m all for saving mon-

ey, but it’s time the licence payers had a say in what cuts should be made.

For example, fire Bruce Forsyth and let him enjoy telling his 50-yearold jokes to someone who cares and, in turn, save us nearly a million each year.

There is a whole team and studio devoted

to telling us what the weather is going to be like. We have weather apps on our phones and tablets giving us this information whenever we pick them up. Wrap that all up and it’ll save 20 million a year.

Stop with the huge pay packets for so called “talent”. I like Graham Norton but seriously,

No tears for Piers I KNOW it’s week-old news, but now it has sunk in, I’m even happier.

That waste of space, Piers Morgan, has been fired from his CNN TV talk show.

And it couldn’t have happening to a better person! I take no joy really hearing about anyone losing his job, unless he is a talentless, egomaniacal millionaire. And he’s the biggest.

How he ever made it as an interviewer is beyond me. His fake laugh and mundane questioning made me want to support the very gun control he would constantly witter on and on about on his US show for ages.

If you didn’t know what was going on and heard him on American

chat shows, or read his Twitter feeds, you’d almost be forgiven for thinking he was the fin-

est broadcaster ever to be given airtime.

He would talk about his “billions of viewers”

around the world. But what he didn’t seem to understand was the fact that his patronis-

ing way of talking to viewers and followers on social media was insulting. Put simply, we are not stupid.

Anyone these days can, if he wants, realistically, have billions of viewers or listeners because of online streaming via the internet.

So what Piers Moron actually left out at the start of his “billions of viewers” sentence was the word “potential”.

Now we know the truth, and, believe me, I always knew. He didn’t even have 300,000 viewers A WEEK! Out of a worldwide population of 7.148 billion, it proves not only is Piers deluded, but he lacks anything that resembles basic mathematics.

And he asks why ITV has put his show back on a Friday night to 10.30pm instead of 9pm?

Like I said earlier, he asks the most stupid questions!

£5m? Nobody is worth that on British telly.

And just stop The Voice NOW! That’s a complete waste of money.

See how much I could save already in just a few paragraphs?

So, pretty soon we’ll be looking at a BBC channel list of One, Two and Four. It looks stupid!

And while I’m at it, can’t we go back to numbers 1, 2 and 4 instead of spelling them out?

I bet a fortune was spent on some weasel PR guru for that brilliant idea. Who watches BBC Four anyway? I have to admit that I do like the documentaries during the week, so let’s forget I even mentioned that.

But at the same time, I’m happy that BBC Three is going online because that’s the way we are all watching TV these days. With catchup, especially iPlayer, I spend more time looking at what was on instead of what is on.

Millions around the world are watching online content more than ever, through the catchup services or downloads. That’s the way it’s going to be.

So maybe we are just looking at the start of something we will all have to become accustomed to in the near future. We will be watching all our computers from the main TV. So thank you BBC Three for not only being part of my working life, but for the hours of enjoyment you’ve given me over the years.

www.canarianweekly.com 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

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Guide

Dancing on Ice The Final!

Don't Miss...

Sunday 9th March, ITV1, 19.00 Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley host the Grand Final of Dancing on Ice. It’s the last ever series, and there can be only one winner - one of the three finalists will be crowned the ultimate champion.

It will be a show full of surprises to bring the curtain down on the ice extravaganza. The three finalists will aim to dazzle with razzamatazz in a Showcase performance, and then performing their favourite routine from this incredible series.

But only two of the finalists will make it as far as being able to perform their own self-choreographed Bolero routine.

Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean will perform a magical version of their infamous Bolero, and some familiar faces from the series will be back on the ice again.

But only one star will hold the trophy aloft and be immortalised as the last ever Dancing on Ice champion.

But who will it be?

Paralympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony Friday 7th March, Channel 4, 15:30 Channel 4 begins its coverage, shared with More4, of the Winter Paralympic Games over the ten days of competition. Jon Snow presents live coverage from Sochi, Russia, of the opening ceremony of the 11th Paralympic Winter Games. Krishnan GuruMurthy is in the Fisht Olympic Stadium as athletes from over 40 countries assemble for the lighting of the cauldron. The ceremony promises to include pyrotechnics, ballet performances, acrobatics, and wheelchair contemporary dance inspired

by Russian traditions. Plus, Jonathan Edwards, Ade Adepitan, Iwan Thomas and a raft of Paralympic experts are on hand to assess Team GB’s medal prospects.

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TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Friday

Friday

Frid

06:00........................... Daybreak

09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

06:05 ......... Homes Under the Hammer

10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer

07:05 ...........Countryside 999 07:50 ........Helicopter Heroes

09:25......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00 ............. Countryside 999

08:35............ The Travel Show

10:30 .................... This Morning

11:45 ..... Caught Red Handed

09:00......................Athletics

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

11:30.................... This Morning

13:00 ............BBC News at One

13:00 ......................A to Z of TV Gardening

12:30................... Loose Women

06:00 ............................Breakfast

13:30......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors

CW 11:25 ............................ITV News choice

13:10 ........................War Walks

14:15 ......................... Perfection

13:40................ The First Eden

15:00.............................Escape to the Country

14:40 ....... Cagney and Lacey 15:25.......................... Bergerac

15:45 ...................James Martin: Home Comforts

16:15................. Are You Being Served?

16:30 .........Antiques Road Trip

16:45 ‘........................Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15............................ Pointless

17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow

18:00......... BBC News at Six

18:00............... Revenge of the Egghead

19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30... A Question of Sport Sue Barker asks the questions in the light-hearted sports quiz.

Regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Commonwealth-winning badminton star Gail Emms, rugby league great Robbie Hunter-Paul, England cricketer Chris Woakes and Olympic gymnast Kristian Thomas. The teams play rounds including Mystery Guest, Home or Away and Picture Board.

20:00 ................ EastEnders 20:30................... Room 101 21:00 .........Jonathan Creek A retired local psychic inadvertently makes the most amazing and impossible prediction of his career, in this episode of the offbeat mystery drama series.

As Jonathan and Polly struggle to settle into rural life, they find their apparently serene country village is riddled with all manner of strange and disturbing undercurrents. A sordid sex scandal is about to break at the community centre, while the arrival of a new baby at the vicarage is overshadowed by tales of a hump-backed beast seen prowling in the garden at night. Even the Creek residence is struck by misfortune, as the prospect of a plague of deadly Japanese knotweed threatens to trigger widescale panic. And what is behind the macabre recurring dream that continues to haunt Polly?

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ............. The Proposal

W C choice

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

18:30 ............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00................... Athletics 20:30 .... Gardeners’ World Gardening magazine. Carol Klein looks at one of the gems of early spring - the cyclamen, and meets a leading expert in this delicate yet hardy plant, and uncovers just how easy they are to grow.

Joe Swift is looking at gardens that thrive despite their extreme locations, starting in west Wales in a bog garden. Rachel de Thame visits a rose garden, home to over 2,500 different varieties, and back at Longmeadow, Monty Don shows us what we can do in the spring to guarantee a fantastic display of roses in the summer. He also adds to his woodland spring planting and is chitting his potatoes in anticipation of creamy new potatoes later in the year.

21:00 .................... 37 Days Political thriller set behind-thescenes in the final days before the outbreak of the First World War. War in Europe is becoming a real possibility. Under pressure from the cabinet, the British foreign secretary unravels a tangled web of intrigue between Austria, Germany, Russia and France, while the German military command conspires to force the kaiser’s hand. Who will gain the upper hand?

22:00 ..............................QI 22:30 ............... Newsnight 23:05 ...... The Best of Men

13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.....................Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00..................... ITV News London 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30................. Coronation Street 20:00 .........Student Nurses: Bedpans and Bandages An observational series which follows student nurses at different stages of their training, revealing the challenges they face both in the classroom and on the wards. In this episode, firstyear Kelly has to overcome her squeamishness, grandmother Diane cares for a patient with a long history of mental health issues and children’s nurse TK has a close call.

20:30 ..... Coronation Street 21:00 ......... Edge of Heaven Comedy drama series set in a Margate guesthouse, featuring feisty Judy Taylor-Chatterjee, her husband and chef Tandeep and Judy’s grown-up children.

Keen to keep their kiss under wraps for fear of hurting Carly, Alfie and Michelle go their separate ways. But Carly has more important things on her mind - she has started online dating and she is having a blast. So what is stopping Alfie and Michelle from taking the plunge too?

22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35 ...........The Americans 23:35 .................. The Chase

Gogglebox Channel 4, 21:00

The fast turn-around weekly television review programme returns for a new 12-part series. Narrated

by Caroline Aherne, this series of Gogglebox features the same adored and highly opinionated British households, as well as a few new additions. The loveable Leon and June, posh tipplers Steph and Dom, hairdressers Christopher and Stephen, and Brixton’s own Sandy and Sandra are all back to share their opinions about what they’ve been watching during the week. Gogglebox captures the viewers’ instant reactions and fierce discussions of the best and worst television shows in the comfort of their own homes.

From Saturday night entertainment juggernauts to the week’s big soap storylines, the Gogglebox households offer sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s popular and topical TV shows. The programmes discussed in the first episode include The Oscars, The Voice, The Taste and Saturday Night Takeaway.

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TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

day

Friday

Friday

06:20 ..........................Countdown

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

07:05............. Paralympic Winter Games... The Countdown

08:15 ..........................Peppa Pig

06:25.........................Emmerdale

07:10..................... Will and Grace

08:35...............Toby’s Travelling Circus

06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:35 .....................Will and Grace

08:45....... Bananas in Pyjamas

08:00 ................Everybody Loves Raymond

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:30................ Everybody Loves Raymond

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

11:10 .........Police Interceptors

07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

7th 06:00 .................The Sarah Jane Adventures

06:00 ........................... Switched

06:30................. The Sarah Jane Adventures

07:10.......................... Ugly Betty

07:00...................... Robin Hood

09:00 .....................................Glee

08:00 ........................ Masterchef South Africa 09:00 ................................The Bill

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

10:00..................................... Frasier

12:15 ........ The Lost Orphan: A Home for Mirela

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

12:00........................... Babylon 5

10:30 ..................................... Frasier

13:15 .............Home and Away

11:00 ....... The Big Bang Theory

12:30........................ Emmerdale

13:45 ...................... Neighbours

12:00 .................Channel 4 News

13:00........................ Emmerdale

14:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

14:15 .................................... NCIS

12:05 ........................Four in a Bed

13:30..... You’ve Been Framed!

15:15........................ High Noon

14:40 ..........................Countdown

17:00........................5 News at 5

14:00 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

15:30 ............. Paralympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony

17:30 ...................... Neighbours

09:30 ..................................... Frasier

18:30 ..................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ...........Channel 4 News 19:30 ...................Crufts 2014 21:00..............Gogglebox

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choice

22:00................. The Last Leg 22:45............ 8 Out of 10 Cats

23:35.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine

18:00........ Home and Away 18:30.............Newstalk Live 19:00 ..... The Gadget Show 20:00 ......Ice Road Truckers 21:00................. Soho Blues 22:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00 ....................... CSI: NY 23:55 ........................ Access

06:00..... Crash Test Dummies

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00 ...............Dog the Bounty Hunter

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare 08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:30....................... Airline USA

10:00........................Fat Families

08:00 ................Modern Family

11:00.................Four Weddings

09:00 ...........................Futurama 10:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:00.............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

15:00.................. The Simpsons

16:00 .........Emergency Animal Rescue

15:30 ...........................Futurama 16:30 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:00 ..........Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 20:30 ..........Modern Family 21:00 ..........................Stella 22:00 ..............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

16:30 .........Emergency Animal Rescue 17:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00....... My Kitchen Rules 20:00.................. CSI: Miami 21:00...............The Blacklist

23:00................. Moone Boy

22:00.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:30................. Cop Squad

23:00.......... Criminal Minds

16:10 .............................. The Real Housewives of New Jersey 17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

March

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who 13:00.......................... Sanctuary

15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00............................Babylon 5 18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

06:25 ..................................90210 08:00........................... Charmed 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00............................. New Girl 15:30.......... The Mindy Project 16:00 ... Rules of Engagement 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30....The Big Bang Theory

18:00 ............... Dinner Date

19:00................. Masterchef South Africa

19:00....You’ve Been Framed!

20:00................ Traffic Cops

21:00 ...........Trading Places

20:00... Two and a Half Men

21:00 ......... Motorway Cops

21:00............... Coyote Ugly

22:00 ................ Cops Uncut

23:25........... How I Met Your Mother

23:05............... Take Me Out

23:00.....................Stranded

07:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

06:00............. Thirtysomething

08:00....................... Man v Food 09:00 .............................Top Gear 11:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 12:00 .......................Man v Food 12:30 .......................Man v Food 13:00............................. Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods 08:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00................ Without a Trace 10:00....................... Blue Bloods 11:00................... Stargate SG-1 12:00................ Without a Trace 13:00 ..................................House

15:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

14:00 ..................................House

16:00 .......................Man v Food

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

17:00 .............................Top Gear

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

18:00 .................... Top Gear

18:00 .........................House

19:00 .............. World’s Most Dangerous Roads

19:00..........................House

20:00 ........Storage Hunters 21:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 22:00............ Not Going Out 23:20............................ Suits

15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

20:00................ Blue Bloods 21:00............ The Following 22:00............... Nurse Jackie 22:35 ....................Mad Men 23:35 .....................The Wire

20:00............................ Troy

23:55 .......... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .....................................FL72 10:00 ............................. Ringside 11:00 .............. Barclays Premier League World 11:30 ......................... Darts Gold 12:00 ... Premier League Darts 15:30 ......................... Darts Gold 16:00 ...............Sporting Greats 16:30............................. Ringside 17:30.............. Barclays Premier League World 18:00 .................Champions League Weekly 18:30................ The Fantasy Football Club 19:30............ Rugby League 22:15 ................The Fantasy Football Club 23:15 ........Barclays Premier League Preview

23 CW

W C choice World Indoor Athletics BBC2, 9am

Phil Jones introduces live coverage of the World Indoor Championships, which are being held in Sopot, Poland.

The highlight of today’s competition is the pentathlon, and with Olympic heptathlon champion Jessica Ennis-Hill absent because of pregnancy, British hopes rest with Katarina Johnson-Thompson.

The talented 21-yearold is considered a rising star of British athletics after finishing fifth in the heptathlon at last year’s World Championships in Moscow. This morning’s action also includes 400m and 800m heats for both men and women.

CW 24

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TV Guide

W C choice

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Saturday Saturday 06:00............................ Breakfast 10:00... Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 ...........Mary Berry Cooks 12:00 .................Football Focus 12:45 .......Saturday Sportsday 13:00...........................BBC News 13:10 ......... BBC London News 13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

06:30..................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

06:00 ............................Dino Dan

07:00 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

06:25 ........................Matt Hatter Chronicles

07:30.................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

06:45 ............................ Canimals

08:00 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

07:00............................ Canimals

08:30 .................... Sport Relief’s Top Dog

14:00...................Six Nations CW Rugby Union choice 09:00............................ Athletics 16:25 ..........................BBC News 11:30........................... Escape to the Country 16:35 ......... BBC London News 16:40 .........................Six Nations Rugby Union Scotland v France. Gabby Logan is joned by Andy Nicol, Sir Ian McGeechan and Jonathan Davies as Scotland take on France at Murrayfield. France’s hopes of winning the 2014 Six Nations will be tested by a Scotland desperate to avoid a ‘wooden spoon’ year after 2013’s third-place finish. Commentary by Andrew Cotter and Chris Paterson.

19:00.............. The Voice UK

Six Nations Rugby Union BBC1, 14:00 Ireland v Italy John Inverdale is joined by Keith Wood and Jeremy Guscott as Ireland take on Italy at Dublin’s Aviva Stadium. After a disappointing 2013 Six Nations in which Ireland failed to win a match on home soil, Joe Schmidt’s side can make it three victories from three at the Aviva Stadium at the expense of Italy. Commentary by Eddie Butler and Philip Matthews.

Battle Rounds. As The Voice UK’s Battles continue, coaches Kylie Minogue, Sir Tom Jones, will.i.am and Ricky Wilson are once again joined by their battle advisors who, alongside each coach, dedicates themselves to developing each artist and sharing the secrets of their success. Kylie welcomes back Jake Shears. Ricky is joined by singer-songwriter Katy B, Sir Tom Jones teams up with Tinie Tempah, and will.i.am is joined by Dante Santiago. As the battles come to a close, each coach will have seven artists on their team who they will continue to mentor ahead of the Knockouts.

21:10 .............. The National Lottery Live 21:20 .....................Casualty 22:10................... BBC News 22:30....... Match of the Day

06:10 ............................Dino Dan

06:55............................ Canimals 07:10 ..............Om Nom Stories 07:15 ..............Om Nom Stories 07:20 ...................................Sooty 07:30 ........................Scrambled!

12:15.............. Talking Pictures

07:35 ...................Almost Naked Animals

13:00....................... The Trouble with Harry

08:30 .................... Horrid Henry

Offbeat comedy thriller about an old sea captain who finds a corpse and, wrongly supposing that he has killed the victim, wonders how to dispose of the body. Soon all of the old man’s friends become involved, with hilarious consequences. Oscarwinning composer Bernard Herrmann’s first collaboration with director Alfred Hitchcock.

14:35 ...................The Man Who Knew Too Much

07:50 ...............Adventure Time 08:50 ........................Scrambled!

09:25.............................ITV News 09:30...................... Dinner Date 10:25 ......... Murder, She Wrote 11:25 .............................ITV News and Weather 11:30 ................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12:00...................... F.A. Cup Live

16:30........................ Final Score

15:00 .................The Illusionists

17:10 ............................Athletics

16:05 ..........................The Chase

20:15................ Dad’s Army

17:05 .............Off Their Rockers

20:45................ The Perfect Morecambe and Wise

17:35 ........... ITV News London

In this compilation of the best bits of Morecambe and Wise, Eric and Ernie have a wardrobe malfunction, team up for an unusual game of table football and Eric annoys Ernie by eating crisps in bed. Dame Shirley Bassey performs ‘Smoke Gets In Your Eyes’.

21:15 ......................37 Days Political thriller set behind-thescenes in the final days before the outbreak of the First World War. The last hours of peace. With the continental powers pushed to the brink, Sir Edward Grey seems unsure of whether to keep Britain out of the conflict. Desperate negotiations, resignations and a battle of wills in the Cabinet reach a crescendo with Germany’s ultimatum to Belgium. Which way will Britain go?

18:00................ You’ve Been Framed!

19:00.........Ant and Dec’s CW Saturday Night choice Takeaway 20:20 ....................The Cube Phillip Schofield presents the tense game show, inviting more contestants to see if they have what it takes to win 250,000 pounds. Teacher Sarah from Hertfordshire dreams of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro but first she must take on the mighty Cube, while pizza delivery man Tony reckons he has got what it takes - but can he deliver a performance good enough to win the big prize?

Gary Lineker presents highlights of all of the day’s Premier League games. Chelsea take on Tottenham, who have won just three encounters against their London rivals in the Premier League era, while West Bromwich Albion and Manchester United meet with a need for points at opposite ends of the table. Cardiff face fellow strugglers Fulham, Crystal Palace welcome Southampton to south east London, and Stoke make the journey to East Anglia to face Norwich.

22:15............. Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle

23:45 ...............The Football League Show

22:45 ..........................QI XL

22:35 ........................ FA Cup Highlights

23:30 ........................... Milk

23:25 ...........All You Can Eat

21:20 ............. The Jonathan Ross Show 22:20............. ITV News and weather

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Saturday Saturday 8th March 09:00 ............. Paralympic Winter Games Jonathan Edwards and Ade Adepitan present live coverage of the Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi. Six gold medals will be decided in the Men’s 7.5k and Women’s 6k Biathlon today. Plus, the Ice Sledge Hockey tournament gets underway, with the 2010 bronze medallists Norway taking on the Czech Republic, while Canada face Sweden.

06:00..................... Children’s TV 07:25 ..........................Make Way for Noddy 07:40................. City of Friends 07:55 ...................Little Princess 08:10 ..........The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 08:30.......... Angelina Ballerina

11:30 ..............The Morning Line 12:30 ..................Deal or No Deal 13:30 ..............Channel 4 Racing 16:10 ............................Come Dine with Me 16:40 ............................Come Dine with Me 17:10............................ Come Dine with Me 17:40 .........Come Dine with Me 18:10 ...........Channel 4 News 18:30 ....................Paralympic Winter Games 19:00 ...................Crufts 2014 21:00....................... Hostages 22:00 ....................X-Men: The Last Stand

08:45 ...................... Rupert Bear

06:00 .....................................Glee

09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm 09:35 .......................... LazyTown 10:05 .............Zathura: A Space Adventure 12:00 ...........The Fifth Element 14:25 ...................... Wimbledon 16:10............................ Columbo 17:45........................... Columbo: Double Shock 19:00 ........................... NCIS

06:00 ........................ Emmerdale Omnibus

06:10................................ The Bill

06:00 ........................... Switched

07:00................................ The Bill

06:25 ......................... Ugly Betty

08:40 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

08:00................................ The Bill

07:10 ........................... Charmed

11:05..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

09:00 ................................The Bill

08:00 .....................................Glee

10:00............... Jonathan Creek

09:00.......... The Mindy Project

11:00 ............... Jonathan Creek

09:30.......................... How I Met Your Mother

13:00.............................. The Only Way is Essex The award-winning reality show continues its eleventh series. Part soap opera, part reality TV, the series follows the lives, loves and scandals of a group of real-life Essex guys and girls, set against a backdrop of nail bars, nightclubs, boutiques and salons. Catch up with the gang as we follow all the excitement, drama and glamour of everyday life in the UK’s most fashionable county.

13:45 ............................. The Only Way is Essex 14:30.................... The Hot Desk 14:45............................ Curly Sue 16:50................. Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang

12:00 ........................ Eastenders’ Greatest Exits 13:55 ...............Motorway Cops 14:45........................ Traffic Cops 15:15....................... Traffic Cops 15:45................Motorway Cops 17:00 ...............................Nature’s Great Events 18:00 ............Nature’s Great Events 19:00 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 19:30 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 20:00 .....Dynamo Revealed

11:00 ... Rules of Engagement 13:30.......... The Mindy Project 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 14:30 .....The Big Bang Theory 16:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 17:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube 17:30 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 18:00 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 19:00 ...................How I Met Your Mother 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother

21:00 .................... Sky Cops

20:00............ The Tomorrow People

22:00 .................... Sky Cops

21:00.....Beverly Hills Cop II

21:00.....UFC Fight Night CW 23:10................. Pitch Black London: Live choice

23:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story

23:05........................ The Big Bang Theory

06:00.................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00 .......Ray Mears’ Northern Wilderness

06:00...............Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets

06:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview

09:00 .......................Fat Families

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:00 ........................ Iconoclasts

06:30 ............................. Ringside

10:00 .......................Fat Families

09:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00............................... Seinfeld

11:00....................... Fat Families

10:00 ..............Storage Hunters

08:30 .............................. Seinfeld

07:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview

14:00............ My Kitchen Rules

11:00 ............................. Flip Men

09:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

15:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model

11:30 ............................. Flip Men

10:00........Star Trek: Enterprise

12:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

16:00 ........Nothing to Declare

13:00 .............................Top Gear

11:00......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

16:30........ Nothing to Declare

15:00.............. Storage Hunters

12:00 ..........................Petrol Age

17:00........ Nothing to Declare

16:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing

13:00 ..........................Petrol Age

16:00 ................Modern Family

17:30........ Nothing to Declare

17:00 .............................Top Gear

14:00 ............................The Pitch

19:00 .......... Harrow: A Very British School

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods

18:30.... Nothing to Declare

18:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

20:00 ................A League of Their Own

20:00.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

19:00.........Storage Hunters

18:00 ......... Without a Trace

19:30........ Storage Hunters

19:00 ...........................Ethel

20:00 ...........................QI XL

21:00........... True Detective

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............Sky Sports Game Changers 10:00 .......................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 13:00 ...................Ashley Banjo’s Dancing Darts Players 14:00 ................................Sinbad 15:00 ...........................Futurama

20:00 ........................... NCIS 20:55....... 5 News Weekend

19:00............. The Incredible Hulk 21:15....The Sweetest Thing

16:00 .......................Blue Bloods

21:00 .........................Arrow

21:00.................Elementary

22:00................. Revolution

22:00...............The Blacklist

21:00 ..................Red Dwarf

22:20...................... Fleming

23:00.......... Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life

23:00.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:00...........Mock the Week

23:20............................ Girls

23:40 ...........................QI XL

23:55...................... Looking

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00.............. Game Changers 10:00....................... Soccer A.M. 12:00 .............................. Football 14:30 .................Saturday Night Football: Team Talk 15:00 .................. Gillette Soccer Saturday 17:00 .......Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Game of the Day 22:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30 ..................... Football

25 CW

W C choice

Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Channel 4, 19:00

Ant and Dec continue the new series of their popular and funpacked live family entertainment show.

The dynamic duo battle it out in another Ant versus Dec and give David Dickinson the surprise of his life when they go undercover, the Supercomputer makes its way to Norwich to dish out more prizes, another lucky person from the studio audience has the chance to win the contents of one of ITV’s commercial breaks in Win the Ads, and the Mazeppa Cossacks close the show in style.

UFC Fight Night London: Live Channel 5, 21:00

Wrestling from the O2 in London. Britain’s rising light-heavyweight star Jimi ‘Poster Boy’ Manuwa squares up to the taller, highly mobile, skilled and tough Alexander ‘The Mauler’ Gustafsson from Sweden. Plus three other bouts.

CW 26

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TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Sunday Sunday Sun 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ............. This is BBC Two

06:00 ............................Dino Dan

07:40 ............................. Match of the Day

06:15 ................... Son of Kong

06:25 ........................Matt Hatter Chronicles

09:00....................... The Andrew Marr Show

W C choice Mr Selfridge ITV1, 21.00 Harry (Jeremy Piven) arrives back in Britain in a storm of bad publicity – both to do with Germany and Henri Leclair (Gregory Fitoussi). Rose (Frances O’Connor) is relieved to have him back but is surprised at how affected Harry is by the experience in Germany. She fills him in on everything he’s missed…

Miss Mardle (Amanda Abbington) is worried about Agnes (Aisling Loftus) and the lack of news about George (Calum Callaghan). Florian (Oliver Farnworth) tries to comfort her; she feels uncomfortable when he tries to broach the subject of his feelings for her…

Harry comes into the store through a crowd of journalists. He and Crabb (Ron Cook) talk and Harry confides in him about why he went to Germany. Harry’s risked everything – and for what? The British Government assured him that they’d act with utmost discretion…

Lady Mae (Katherine Kelly) and Pimble (Amanda Lawrence) are in Mae’s hotel room – Pimble tells her that Loxley’s closed her account. Mae decides to sell her jewels.

Rose has been talking to Delphine (Polly Walker) about Harry being at a low edge – she realises he needs cheering up, some star dust - and she knows some people in town that will do just that.

Bill Summertime (Jay Villiers) comes into see Harry and Harry gives him the intelligence he gathered and tackles him about how news of his trip leaked and if he could help him with the procurement scandal. Summertime said it’s not his problem – that’s Harry’s fight. Harry’s very much on his own.

Harry talks to his staff to reassure them that the newspaper reports about his part in the Procurement scandal is a bunch of lies… Harry’s angry with Frank Edwards (Samuel West) whilst Kitty defends herself to Miss Mardle. He reads out the statement that he’s written to the press but has he persuaded them to trust him?

Grove (Tom Goodman Hill) gives Harry the list of the store men who have died and Harry begins the sad task of writing to their families to express his sorrow.

Agnes comes to talk to Harry about Henri being held at the American Embassy. Harry’s saddened that Henri never confided in him, that he lied to him. Agnes makes him see that Henri must be innocent – and suggests that if Harry can help her find Valerie Maurel, that will help Henri out of the hole he’s in. Which gives Harry an idea….Summertime can help him.

He does owe him a favour, after all. He seeks him out at Delphine’s club, shows him a picture of Valerie and asks him to find her for him. nks’ beginning to regret his story about Harry – something about it doesn’t smell right and he wants to make amends. His editor isn’t interested in the truth and won’t print Harry’s letter to the paper in which he denies the allegations made against him.

The store is very slow…no one is coming in because of the recent scandal. Jessie (Sai Bennett) tells Kitty that her father wants her to leave the store as it has such a bad name at the moment. Just at that time, Delphine comes in with her Americans…no less than Mack Sennett (Joseph Beattie), producer and owner of Keystone film studios and Mabel Normand (Andrea Deck), actress and both bona fide Hollywood stars with their entourage. They intend to go on a huge shopping spree. Mack tells Harry that he’s always been an inspiration to him. He gets invited to a party Delphine’s throwing for them both at the club. But before that Delphine’s showing them around every department – Harry thanks her. This is just what he needed….Delphine is pleased.

Mae’s sold all her jewellery. Pimble’s nervous – Loxley’s (Aidan McArdle) tracked Mae down and he’s waiting for her in the lobby. She tells him she wants a divorce – Loxley tries to reason with her. He asks her to come home – it’s unnerving. Once he’s gone, Mae vows to Pimble that she’ll have to destroy him before he destroys her.

Agnes and Mardle speak in private and Agnes confides that she’s delivering a letter to Henri at the Embassy. She wants him to know that Mr Selfridge hasn’t given up on him.

07:15 ....................Monty Don’s Italian Gardens

06:45 ............................ Canimals

08:15 ..................... Countryfile

07:10...............Om Nom Stories

10:00 ..........The Big Questions

09:15.......... Gardeners’ World

07:20....................................Sooty

11:00 ................Sunday Politics

09:45........... Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

07:30........................ Scrambled!

12:15 ............................... Wanted Down Under 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:45 ............................Escape to the Country 14:30 .........................Six Nations Rugby Union

11:15................. James Martin: Home Comforts

07:35 ...................Almost Naked Animals 07:50 .................... Horrid Henry

12:00 ................. Michel Roux’s Service

08:10 .......................... Victorious

13:00 ................. Michel Roux’s Service

09:25......... Murder, She Wrote

14:00 .......................... Athletics

08:50........................ Scrambled!

10:25......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal

18:00 ............ Flog it! Trade 17:00................. Deadly on a CW Secrets Mission: choice Pole to Pole 18:30 ................ Mystery of the Moor 17:30 ................Songs of Praise

11:25 .............................ITV News and Weather

19:00 ..............Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom

12:30 .................River Monsters

18:05 .................. BBC News 18:20 ............... BBC London News 18:30 .................. Blandings 19:00 ................ Countryfile 20:00 ....................... Call the Midwife 21:00 ........ The Musketeers

20:00................... Top Gear 21:00 .................... Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers

11:30 ................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 13:30 ..................... F.A. Cup Live 16:20............... Live and Let Die 18:35 ...... ITV News London 19:00........... Dancing on Ice 21:00...........Mr Selfridge

CW

choice

22:00 ............. ITV News and Weather

22:00 .................. BBC News

22:00 ...................Mock the Week

22:15.............................. BBC London News

22:35 .............Line of Duty

22:45 ..... FA Cup Highlights

23:35 ................ The Killing Fields

23:45........... LV= Cup Rugby Highlights

22:25 .........Bruce Almighty

22:15 ......Birds of a Feather

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

nday Sunday Sunday 9th March 06:00 .......... Paralympic Winter Games

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00......................... Beauty and the Geek

08:35................ Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures

06:45 ................... The Hot Desk

08:45 ...................... Rupert Bear

06:55.... Emmerdale Omnibus

14:30 ................................The Big Bang Theory

09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

09:50 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

15:00 ................................The Big Bang Theory

09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm

12:10........................ Dinner Date Australia

11:00.......... Paralympic Winter Games

15:30 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 16:00.................. The Simpsons

09:30 .......................... LazyTown 10:00 ................Power Rangers: Super Samurai

17:00............... Deal or No Deal

10:35................ Power Rangers: Megaforce

18:00 ........ Channel 4 News

11:00 .................................Access

18:30......Paralympic Winter Games

11:05 .........Police Interceptors

19:00 ................Crufts 2014 21:00 .....................One Day Director Lone Scherfig’s adaptation of David Nicholls’ romantic bestseller follows the relationship of two friends across two decades. Meeting for the first time on the day of their graduation in 1988, Dexter and Emma form a friendship that takes an often uneven path, measured out on 15 July each year, the date that marks the anniversary of that first meeting.

12:05............ Ice Road Truckers 13:00 ................ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

14:00 .......The Hotel Inspector 15:00................. Forever Young 17:05.............5 News Weekend 17:10.......... Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son

French chef Manu Fieldel with the culinary dating show set Down Under. Jeremy owns cafes and restaurants, and is a Wallabies legend. But such men can come with baggage - he is available but divorced with two little girls. Dinner Date gives Jeremy five menus, of which he can choose only three - maybe one of the ladies behind them will be the perfect answer to his complicated life?

13:10..... You’ve Been Framed!

14:10.................. Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang 16:25.....................Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

19:10 .....................Hancock

17:40...................Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

21:00 .............Blade: Trinity

19:30.....Batman and Robin

23:05 ..............Working Girl

23:00..................... Beowulf

22:00.............. The Only Way is Essex

06:00 .........The Hour of Power 07:00 .....................................Glee 09:00............ Monuments Men Movie Special 09:30............ The Kent Trickers 10:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 11:00 ............ WWE Experience 12:00.................................Sinbad 13:00 ...........................Futurama 14:00 ................Modern Family 16:30 .................. The Simpsons 17:00 ..... Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 18:00 ............The Simpsons 19:00 ..........Modern Family 19:30 ..............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 20:00 ............The Simpsons 21:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0 22:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00 ...............................Carpool 07:10..............................Top Gear 09:00 ................... Total Wipeout Australia 10:00 ..............Storage Hunters 11:00 .......................................... QI 11:40 .................Have I Got a Bit More News for You 12:20 .......................................... QI 13:00............................. Top Gear 15:00 ..........Dynamo: Magician Impossible 16:00 ..............Storage Hunters 17:00 .............................Top Gear 18:00................................ QI 18:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 19:20 ................................QI 20:00 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:50 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue 09:00......Sports Women Week 09:30.....................The Real A&E 11:00.................. America’s Next Top Model 12:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 13:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E 16:00........ Nothing to Declare 16:30........ Nothing to Declare 17:00 ........Nothing to Declare 17:30 ........Nothing to Declare 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 18:30.... Nothing to Declare 20:00..............Harley Street 21:00......... Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 22:00....................Ladyboys 23:00................Doll and Em 23:30......... Grey’s Anatomy

06:15 ...................... Doctor Who 07:00 ...................... Doctor Who 08:00 .......Hollywood Treasure 08:30 .......Hollywood Treasure 09:00....... Hollywood Treasure 10:00 ...................... Doctor Who 11:00...................... Doctor Who 12:00...................... Doctor Who 13:00 ...................... Doctor Who 14:00 ......................Hairy Bakers 14:30 ......................Hairy Bakers 15:00...................... Hairy Bakers 16:00.... Nature’s Great Events 18:00......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 18:30......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities 19:00 ............... Who Do You Think You Are? 20:00 ............... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 21:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story 22:00............... Airport 24/7 23:00 ............... Who Do You Think You Are?

06:00 .......... Make it or Break it

06:00........................ Iconoclasts

06:00 .................Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

07:00 .............................. Seinfeld 07:30.............................. Seinfeld 08:00 .........Friday Night Lights

06:50 ......................... Ugly Betty 07:35........................... Charmed 08:30.... Rules of Engagement 09:00........................... How I Met Your Mother 09:30........................... How I Met Your Mother 10:00....... Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:35 ............................ Revenge 13:35 .....The Big Bang Theory 14:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube 14:30................. Rude(Ish) Tube 15:00 .......... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 16:00... The Tomorrow People 17:00...................................... Troy 18:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 18:30....The Big Bang Theory 20:00................Employee of the Month 22:10....The Big Bang Theory 22:40........... How I Met Your Mother 23:10...... My Mad Fat Diary

07:30 .............. Game Changers

09:00 ......................... The British

08:30 ........................The Sunday Supplement

10:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

10:00 .............Goals on Sunday

11:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

12:00.............................. Football

12:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

15:00.............................. Football

13:00 ............................The Pitch

17:55................................ La Liga

14:00......... Networks of Power

20:00 ........................La Liga

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods

22:00 ......... Fl 72 Highlights

16:00 .......................Blue Bloods

22:30 ..................... Football

17:00 ............... Without a Trace

23:00 ....Football’s Greatest

21:00 .......Game of Thrones

Kenny Dalglish. The Scottish forward had a fantastic career, winning 29 honours during his time with Liverpool and Celtic.

Dalglish won the European Cup three times and earned over 100 caps for Scotland.

22:15 .......Game of Thrones

23:30 ............. Spanish Gold

23:30 .......Game of Thrones

23:45............. Spanish Gold

18:00 ......... Without a Trace 19:00 ......... Without a Trace 20:00 ................. The British

27 CW

W C choice

Deadly on a Mission: Pole to Pole BBC1, 17:00

Wildlife presenter Steve Backshall embarks on a global journey that takes him from the Arctic Circle to Antarctica, encountering a host of deadly animals along the way. Steve continues his journey south and heads into Yellowstone National Park. This frozen wonderland is home to the grey wolf, but Steve will need all his tracking skills if he is to catch up with this elusive predator.

Next, the team trek through deep snow to find North America’s largest land mammal, the one-tonne bison, but they get a much closer encounter than they bargained for. The expedition’s next stop is North Carolina, where Steve braves the icy rivers to uncover a sinister creature known as the hellbender. Finally, in Texas, Steve hangs out amongst the largest congregation of predators ever seen on Deadly.

CW 28

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Monday Monday Mon 06:00 ........................... Daybreak

09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

06:05 ...........Homes Under the Hammer

10:00 ........... Homes Under the Hammer

07:05............. Countryside 999 07:50......Caught Red Handed

09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00 ............. Countryside 999

08:20 ......... Helicopter Heroes

10:30..................... This Morning

11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House

09:05 ..... The Restaurant Man

11:25............................ ITV News

06:00 ............................Breakfast

12:15.................... Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:45 ...... James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 16:15 .....Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30.............Bang Goes the Theory

CW

choice

20:00................. EastEnders 20:30...................Panorama 21:00............................. Silk 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News

10:05...................... Great British Railway Journeys 10:35 ....................................Click 11:00......................... BBC News 12:00............ The Daily Politics 13:00 .................................. Coast 13:10.......................... War Walks 13:40 ...................British Isles: A Natural History 14:40 ......... Cagney and Lacey 15:25 ............................Bergerac 16:15 .Are You Being Served?

16:45 ..........................‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15 ..... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..........Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 .............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00.................... Top Gear 20:00 .University Challenge 20:30......Mary Berry Cooks 21:00............ Mind the Gap: London v The Rest

22:35............The Michael W 22:00...... ARTiculation - For C the Love of Art McIntyre choice Chat Show 22:30................. Newsnight 23:20...............Late Kick Off 23:20...... Fast and Fearless: Britain’s Banger Racers 23:50...... Live at the Apollo

W C choice

08:30.............................. Lorraine

11:30..................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.................... Tipping Point 17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00..................... ITV News London 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00................ Emmerdale 19:30..... Coronation Street 20:00........................ I Never Knew That About Britain 20:30 ..... Coronation Street 21:00 .................. DCI Banks 22:00 ......... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35 ............... The Agenda 23:05 .................. The Secret Mediterranean with Trevor McDonald

The Michael McIntyre Chat Show BBC1, 22.35 Award-winning comedian Michael McIntyre, one of the world’s most popular and successful stand-up comedians, returns to our television screens this March for six weeks with his brand-new BBC One chat show, The Michael McIntyre Chat Show.

In his new role as chat show host, Michael sits in the interviewer’s chair for the very first time and will interview three top celebrity guests each week.

Incorporating lively chat and fun audience participation, Michael brings his unique and hugely popular brand of comedy to each episode.

In this week’s first episode, Michael is joined by veteran chat show host and broadcaster Sir Terry Wogan. Chatting about her recent return to music and her new single Air Balloon, pop star Lily Allen will be stopping by. And finally, business tycoon and star of The Apprentice, the inimitable Lord Alan Sugar will be joining Michael for a chat.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

nday Monday Monday 10th March 11:00 .......... Paralympic Winter Games 12:30 .............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:35 .......... Paralympic Winter Games 14:40 ...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 19:30 .................Paralympic Winter Games Highlights. Jonathan Edwards and Ade Adepitan look back at the best of the action from Day Three of the Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi, Russia. The day began with the Women’s Super-G in Alpine Skiing, as Anna Turney, Jade Etherington and Kelly Gallagher flew the flag for Great Britain, and ended with the British Wheelchair Curling team facing Slovakia in their latest group game.

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:00 .............................M.I. High

08:15 ..........................Peppa Pig

06:25........... Coronation Street

06:30 .............................M.I. High

08:20 ..........................Peppa Pig

06:55........... Coronation Street

07:00...................... Robin Hood

08:35... Toby’s Travelling Circus

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

08:00 ........................ Masterchef South Africa

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

07:45............... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:00................................ The Bill

09:15.............. The Wright Stuff

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

10:00 ................................The Bill

11:10..........Police Interceptors

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

13:00.......................... Sanctuary

12:10......... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .................... Benidorm ER 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ............................A Time to Remember 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00........ Home and Away

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30........................ Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

18:30............ Newstalk Live

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

19:00...... The Gadget Show

18:00 ............... Dinner Date

20:00.... Police Interceptors

19:00....You’ve Been Framed!

20:00...... Food Unwrapped 21:00 ......... One Born Every Minute 22:00 ........ 8 Out of 10 Cats

21:00.......... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

20:00... Two and a Half Men

22:00 ....Caught on Camera

22:00 ................40 Days and 40 Nights

06:00 ..... Crash Test Dummies

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

23:00 ......................Lock Up

07:00 ....................... Airline USA

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:30 ....................... Airline USA

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:00................ Modern Family

10:00....................... Fat Families

09:00........................... Futurama

11:00................ Four Weddings

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ................. Harrow: A Very British School 15:00......... Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

14:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00 ........................Emergency Animal Rescue

16:00........................... Futurama

16:30 ........................Emergency Animal Rescue

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

17:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

17:30 ................Modern Family

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

18:30............ The Simpsons

18:30.... Nothing to Declare

20:30 ..........Modern Family

20:00 .........................Bones

21:00 ................ Moone Boy

21:00 ......... Criminal Minds

21:30 ............The Simpsons 22:00.......................... Stella

22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:00..........................Bones

21:00........................... Mom

07:00...................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 08:00....................... Man v Food 09:00..............................Top Gear 11:00...................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 12:00 .......................Man v Food

12:00 ...........................Babylon 5 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 16:00...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 19:00 .................Masterchef South Africa 20:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 21:00................. 50 Greatest Magic Tricks 23:10...... Emergency Bikers

06:00 .............Thirtysomething 07:00........................Blue Bloods 08:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

13:00............................. Top Gear

12:00................ Without a Trace

15:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

13:00.................................. House 14:00 ..................................House

16:00 .......................Man v Food

15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00............................. Top Gear

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

19:00 .............. World’s Most Dangerous Roads

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

20:00 ...........................QI XL

19:00......................... House

21:00 ....Would I Lie to You? 21:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:40.........Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 23:40............................QI XL

18:00......................... House 20:00.... Friday Night Lights 21:00 ......................Fleming 22:00 ............................Girls 22:35 ......................Looking 23:10 ...........True Detective

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25.................................. 90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .....................................Glee 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00 .............................New Girl 15:30.......... The Mindy Project 16:00.... Rules of Engagement 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 .......... How I Met Your Mother 20:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 20:30...............2 Broke Girls 21:00..................... Revenge 22:00...... My Mad Fat Diary 23:00........... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00................................ La Liga 10:00 .............................. Football 11:00 ................................ La Liga 12:00 .............................. Football 13:00 ............... Fl 72 Highlights 13:30 ................... Football Gold 14:30 ................................ La Liga 15:30 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 16:00.............. Game Changers 17:00 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 18:00............................ FL72 19:00 .........The Footballer’s Football Show 20:00 ........Barclays Premier League Review 21:00 ........................... FL72 22:00 .........The Footballer’s Football Show

29 CW

W C choice

Bang Goes The Theory BBC1, 19.30

Bang Goes The Theory is back, with another eight exciting episodes, tackling the topics of the moment, the science that affects all our lives.

Where are we in our fight against cancer?

How will we be able to get to work on our ageing railways, full to capacity and yet population rising?

And as we all need to decide whether to allow the NHS to share our medical records, who is really set to benefit from the Big Data Explosion? This series is the definitive guide to the science driving the headlines.

Presenters Jem Stansfield, Liz Bonnin and Maggie Philbin investigate how close Britain might get to running out of electricity. We live in a world where the lights are always on.

But will that be the case in 20 years time?

Maggie Philbin spends a day in one of Britain’s most secret locations, the control room of the National Grid – whose job it is to make sure the electricity is always there when you need it. Here she learns that almost half our generating capacity will disappear in our lifetimes.

Jem shows how and why most of our electricity now relies on gas and reveals a potential fuel of the future: liquid air.

CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Tuesday 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15 .....................Heir Hunters 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ............. Countryside 999 11:45........................... Watchdog Test House 12:15.................... Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45.............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:45 ..................James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 16:15......Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15............................. Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00............The One Show 19:30................. EastEnders 20:00...................Holby City 21:00................Shetland

CW

choice

22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35..Insane Fight Club

CW choice

23:35..........Swansea: Living on the Street

W C choice

Tuesday

06:05................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:05........... Countryside 999 07:50....Watchdog Test House 09:05..................... Great British Garden Revival 10:05 .................... Great British Railway Journeys 10:35 .........................HARDtalk 11:00........................ BBC News 12:00 .......... The Daily Politics 13:00 .........................The Super League Show 13:45 ..................British Isles: A Natural History 14:35 ....... Cagney and Lacey 15:25 .......................... Bergerac 16:15 .................Are You Being Served?

16:45......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15.... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .........Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 ............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00 ................Permission Impossible: Britain’s Planners 20:00.................. The Great British Sewing Bee 21:00 ................An Hour to Save Your Life 22:00.... The Sarah Millican Television Programme

06:00 ........................... Daybreak 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News 11:30.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.................... Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30.......................UEFA CW Champions choice League 22:00..................... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35....... UEFA Champions League 23:35 .............The Crocodile Hunter Diaries

UEFA Champions League Live Bayern Munich v Arsenal ITV1, 19.30, Kick off 19.45

Adrian Chiles introduces live coverage of the UEFA Champions League knock-out stages on ITV. Arsenal face a tough task as they attempt to overcome a two-goal deficit against reigning European champions, Bayern Munich.

The German side ran out impressive winners in the Champions League last 16 first leg at the Emirates last month. Despite the huge challenge, Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger will relish pitting his wits against Bayern Munich coach Pep Guardiola.

Guests - Roy Keane, Lee Dixon and Ian Wright. Commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend.

T

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Tuesday 08:00 ...........The Morning Line 09:00 .........................Paralympic Winter Games 11:00 .........................Paralympic Winter Games 12:35 ......................Cheltenham Festival 16:30.................... Four in a Bed 17:00 ........................ Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:30................. Paralympic Winter Games 20:00............... Kirstie’s Best of Both Worlds Kirstie meets Alice and Richard, who are looking for a new home between Liverpool and Manchester. But Alice can’t drive and obsessive cyclist Richard doesn’t want to. Can Kirstie conjure up the perfect slice of Cheshire countryside?

Tuesday

11th

March

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:00 .............................M.I. High

06:00 ........................... Switched

08:35.................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus

06:25 ...........Coronation Street

07:00...................... Robin Hood

06:25 ..................................90210

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

08:00 ........................ Masterchef South Africa

07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:00 ................................The Bill

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:55 .....................................Glee

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

11:10......... Police Interceptors

10:05 .............................New Girl

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

12:00 ...........................Babylon 5

10:35 ..........The Mindy Project

13:00 .......................... Sanctuary

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

11:00........................... Charmed

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

12:00 ...............................Rules of Engagement

15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks

12:30 ........................Emmerdale

16:00...................... Doctor Who

13:00........... Coronation Street

13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

17:00 ...........................Babylon 5

14:00 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory

16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

19:00 .................Masterchef South Africa

19:00...Highland Emergency

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

19:30....................... Police 5

20:00 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities

18:00 ............... Dinner Date

20:00.............. Benidorm ER

20:30 ......... Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .......The Hotel Inspector 13:15............. Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15.................................... NCIS 15:15 ............. McBride: Murder Past Midnight 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live

08:00 ........................... Charmed

15:00 .............................New Girl 15:30 ..........The Mindy Project 16:00.... Rules of Engagement

CW

choice 17:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks

21:00.................... The Taste 22:00.....................Strippers 23:00 .............. Three Wives, One Husband

21:00............. The Mentalist

19:00.......................... You’ve Been Framed!

22:00...........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

20:00... Two and a Half Men

22:00 ..............South Pacific

19:45..... Mission: Impossible

21:00...The Vampire Diaries

22:00.............................Troy

22:55.............Body of Proof

22:00 ..............White Chicks

23:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

23:05....The Big Bang Theory

06:00 ..............UK Border Force

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

07:00....................... Airline USA

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

08:00 ................Modern Family

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00 .......................Trawlermen

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 ...........................Futurama

07:30 ........Nothing to Declare

10:00................... Hawaii Five-0

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

12:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles

10:00....................... Fat Families

14:00 ................. Harrow: A Very British School

11:00 ................Four Weddings

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 10:00 ............... The Footballer’s Football Show 11:00 ................... Football Gold 11:30 ................SPFL Round Up 12:00 .....................................FL72 13:00 ................... Football Gold 13:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 14:30 ............... The Footballer’s Football Show 15:30 .....................................FL72 16:30 ................... Football Gold 17:00 ................SPFL Round Up 17:30.......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 18:00 ...... Revista de la Liga 19:00 ....... UEFA Champions League

15:00.......... Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie 16:00 ...........................Futurama

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................ Criminal Minds

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

16:00 ........................Emergency Animal Rescue

17:30 ................Modern Family

17:00............ Sun, Sea and A&E

18:30 ............The Simpsons

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

19:00 ............The Simpsons

20:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

19:30............ The Simpsons

21:00 ................Elementary

20:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0 21:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 22:00 ................ The Smoke 23:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles

W C choice

22:00 ...............Doll and Em 22:30......................... Bones 23:30.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

09:00 .............................Top Gear 11:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 12:00 .......................Trawlermen 13:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 16:00 .......................Trawlermen 17:00 .............................Top Gear 19:00..................... Flip Men 20:00.........Storage Hunters 20:30 ........Storage Hunters 21:00 ...........................QI XL 22:00............. Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums 23:00 ..........Mock the Week 23:40 .......... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

21:00 ...............Madagascar

07:00....................... Blue Bloods 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 12:00 ............... Without a Trace 13:00 ..................................House 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00 .........................House 19:00 .........................House 20:00 .......................... David Attenborough’s Micro Monsters 21:00......................... Awake 22:00............ The Following 23:00.................. Spartacus: Vengeance

Shetland BBC1, 21.00

Acclaimed murder-mystery series, Shetland, returns for a new series of three, two-part stories.

In the first tale, old wounds are painfully reopened as DI Jimmy Perez and his team look into a past crime to solve the present-day murder of a young teenage girl.

The residents of Ravenswick are shocked when 17-year-old Catherine Ross is found murdered on a secluded beach.

With his cottage overlooking the crime scene, local recluse Magnus Bain is first to be questioned by Perez who is intrigued to discover Magnus had forged an unlikely friendship with the victim.

Perez and his team - DS Alison ‘Tosh’ McIntosh and Trainee DC Sandy Wilson - begin piecing together the hours leading up to Catherine’s death.

Perez questions Sally Henry, Catherine’s timid best friend whose mother - local schoolteacher Margaret Henry - makes no secret of her dislike for Catherine. He follows up with Hugo Scott, Catherine’s evidently obsessed teacher, and Alan Isbister, a local playboy philanderer, who admits to seeing Catherine at his party on Midsummer Night.

When Fiscal Procurator Rhona Kelly draws Perez’s attention to the unsolved case of Catriona Bruce, a seven-year-old girl who disappeared from the same village 19 years ago, Perez realises that the two girls even shared an address.

19:30.................. Rude Tube

31 CW

W C choice Insane Fight Club BBC1, 22.35

Insane Championship Wrestling (ICW) take over the ABC, Glasgow for their biggest match. Follow Mark Dallas, Grado and Jack Jester as they try to sell out the 1,100-capacity arena.

ICW is the brainchild of Mark Dallas, who was frustrated by censorship limiting violence in wrestling.

Mark wants to bring wrestling back to its roots with his strictly over-18s wrestling company.

Wrestler Grado is spotted by Dallas after posting videos online which go viral. His catchphrase “it’s yirsel” becomes an internet hit and even hairdresser Nicky Clarke gets in on the action.

Jack Jester, ICW’s hard-core heavyweight wrestler, takes on the most important fight of his life - winning would see him crowned ICW Heavyweight Champion.

CW 32

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TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Wednesday 06:00.............................Breakfast 09:15 .....................Heir Hunters 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00............. Countryside 999 11:45 .......................... Watchdog Test House 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30.......... BBC London News 13:45.............................. Doctors 14:15.......................... Perfection 15:00...Escape to the Country 15:45...... James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 16:15......Flog it! Trade Secrets 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 20:00 .......... Waterloo Road 21:00.........Famous, Rich CW and Hungry choice 22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35...A Question of Sport 23:05................ The Michael McIntyre Chat Show 23:55................... Blandings

W C choice

06:00 ................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:00 ...........Countryside 999 07:45....Watchdog Test House 08:15...Wanted Down Under 09:00 ......................... Inside the Animal Mind 10:00............. An Island Parish 10:30.......................... See Hear 11:00........................ BBC News 11:30.......... The Daily Politics 13:00 ............. The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:20.........................War Walks 13:50 ..................British Isles: A Natural History 14:40....... Cagney and Lacey 15:25 .......................... Bergerac 16:15 .................Are You Being Served?

16:45 ........................ ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15.... Antiques Roadshow 17:55.................. Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party 18:00............... Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 ............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00.....Antiques Road Trip 20:00...........Collectaholics 21:00 .............Line of Duty 22:00................Inside No 9 22:30................ Newsnight

Wednes 06:00 ........................... Daybreak 08:30.............................. Lorraine 09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News 11:30 .................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30.... ITV News and Weather 14:00..........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ...... The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ....................Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00 ...... ITV News London 18:25 ............ Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative Party 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30..... Coronation Street 20:00............ You Saw Them Here First 21:00..................Law and Order: UK

CW

choice

22:00 ......... ITV News at Ten 22:35 .................The Miners’ Strike and Me 23:40............. The Jonathan Ross Show

Famous, Rich And Hungry For Sport Relief BBC1, 21.00 For millions of people in the UK, going hungry is a very real issue, and for four famous faces it’s about to become a stark reality.

In this new two-part documentary series, four well-known personalities - actress Cheryl Fergison, journalist and writer Rachel Johnson, Made In Chelsea’s Jamie Laing and entrepreneur and Dragons’ Den star Theo Paphitis – put their famous lives on hold to experience what it is really like for people in Britain who often can’t afford to eat.

In this first programme, all four meet with Lily Caprani from the Children’s Society (a charity that helps children at risk and works to tackle food poverty), and community support worker Craig Last, to prepare them for their stay with a host family. Before the celebrity volunteers depart, they are given a food budget that’s around the same price as a take-away coffee for their three day stay: the amount of money their hosts say they have to spend per person per day on food.

Theo’s host is a working mum who regularly skips meals to feed her daughter, and Cheryl meets a single man who has to choose between eating and keeping warm. Rachel and Jamie both stay with hosts who rely on food banks to feed their families.

The famous volunteers are pushed to their limit in an attempt to understand what it means to go hungry in the UK today and are confronted with the tough decisions many people face on a daily basis. All four must come to terms with the physical and emotional difficulties their host has to live with, leading them to question their own lives and priorities.

Famous, Rich And Hungry is produced for BBC One by Love Productions.

The Executive Producers for Love Productions are Richard McKerrow and Kieran Smith. Maxine Watson is Commissioning Editor for the BBC. The two-part documentary forms part of this year’s Sport Relief programming.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

sday

Wednesday

12th

06:00 .........................Paralympic Winter Games

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:00 .............................M.I. High

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

06:25................ Holiday Airport

06:30 .............................M.I. High

08:00 ...........The Morning Line

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

07:00...................... Robin Hood

09:00......................... Paralympic Winter Games

09:15.............. The Wright Stuff 11:10 .........Police Interceptors

07:45......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

08:00........................ Masterchef South Africa

11:00 ....................... Undercover Boss Canada

12:10......... 5 News Lunchtime

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

09:00 ................................The Bill

12:15.......... The Gadget Show 13:15............. Home and Away

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

12:00 ....................River Cottage Veg Heroes

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

13:00.......................... Sanctuary

12:30.............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:35 ......................Cheltenham estival 16:30.................... Four in a Bed 17:00 ........................ Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons

13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 .....................McBride: The Chameleon Murder 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00........ Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live

18:30................... Hollyoaks

19:00 ................. Dangerous Drivers’ School

19:00 ........ Channel 4 News

20:00............... Born to Kill?

19:30 .................Paralympic Winter Games

21:00........................... NCIS

20:00 ............. Secret Eaters

23:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

22:00 .................... Suspects

12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00............................ The Cube 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show

12:00........................... Babylon 5 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

16:10...... The Real Housewives of New Jersey

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

18:00........ The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

18:00............... Dinner Date

19:00 .................Masterchef South Africa

19:00....You’ve Been Framed!

20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00................Party Wright Around the World

17:00........................... Babylon 5

20:00................. Beauty and the Beast 21:00 ........................ Grimm

23:55 ..........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

22:00 ..................... The Only Way is Essex

22:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

22:50.........The Big Reunion

23:00..............Stansted: The Inside Story

06:00...............UK Border Force

06:00.........Nothing to Declare

07:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 08:00.............. Storage Hunters 09:00 ............................. Flip Men 10:00 .............................Top Gear 11:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 12:00.............. Storage Hunters 13:00 ............................. Flip Men 14:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads 16:00.............. Storage Hunters 17:00 ............................. Flip Men 18:00..................... Top Gear 19:00........................... QI XL 20:00............. Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums 21:00.......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00.............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish 23:00...........Mock the Week

21:00................. Astronauts 22:00................. First Dates 23:00 ....................Strippers

07:00........................ Airline USA

06:30 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00 ................Modern Family

08:00......RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00........................... Futurama

10:00 .......................Fat Families

10:00................... Hawaii Five-0

11:00................ Four Weddings

12:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00................. Harrow: A Very British School

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

15:00.......... Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

16:00 .........Emergency Animal Rescue

16:00 ...........................Futurama

16:30 .........Emergency Animal Rescue

17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family

17:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

18:30............ The Simpsons

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

19:30................ PSG v Bayer Leverkusen

18:30.... Nothing to Declare 20:00 .............. Chicago Fire

22:00...............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

21:00......................... Bones

23:00.................. Armed and Dangerous: Ultimate Forces

23:00............... Doll and Em

22:00......... Grey’s Anatomy 23:30 .........................Bones

March

23:50... Two and a Half Men

06:00............. Thirtysomething 07:00....................... Blue Bloods 08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00................... Stargate SG-1 12:00 ............... Without a Trace 13:00 ..................................House 14:00 ..................................House 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00 .........................House 19:00 .........................House 20:00 .................... Mankind 21:00 ....... Game of Thrones Season 3 Recap 21:30............True Detective 22:50 ................The Borgias

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10......................... Ugly Betty 08:00........................... Charmed 09:00..................................... Glee 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00.... Rules of Engagement 12:30............................Hollyoaks 13:00........................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00 .............................New Girl 15:30 ..........The Mindy Project 16:00.... Rules of Engagement 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:30....The Big Bang Theory 21:00............ The Tomorrow People 22:00.................. Rude Tube 23:00...... My Mad Fat Diary

06:00................. Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 ........ Champions League Highlights 10:00.............. Barclays Premier League Review 11:00 ............ Revista de la Liga 12:00 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 12:30 .....................Football Asia 13:00 ........ Champions League Highlights 14:00 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 14:30..................... Football Asia 15:00 .......... Football’s Greatest Teams 16:30 ........ Champions League Highlights 17:00........... Football’s Greatest International Teams 17:30.............. Football Asia 18:00................. Boots ‘n’ All

33 CW

W C choice Law & Order: UK ITV1, 21.00

Ronnie (Bradley Walsh) and his new partner Joe (Ben Bailey Smith) are leading an investigation into the death of jeweller Harry Bernstein who is found dead with no hands or teeth. His wife Lindsay (Tracy Brabin), her lover David, and a former business associate, Mickey Belker (Christopher Fulford), are all possible suspects.

But the case takes a surprising turn when Bernstein’s sister turns up with his severed hands. They were delivered to her house in a box to lend weight to a very simple message: ‘not guilty’.

Bernstein’s sister, Rebecca, is on the jury for the trial of Dale Horgan; a drug dealer and murderer that Ronnie has been trying to nail for years.

This threat to Rebecca points to jury tampering. So Jake (Dominic Rowan) and Kate (Georgia Taylor) have to take a dramatic approach to win the case, against formidable defence barrister Eleanor Richmond (Helen Baxendale), and with Henry’s stern eye on them at every turn.

But will Ronnie’s evidence be enough?

CW 34

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C choice

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Thursday Thursday 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ...............This is BBC Two

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

09:15 .....................Heir Hunters

06:05 ...................Homes Under the Hammer

08:30...............................Lorraine

07:05 ............Countryside 999

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00 ............. Countryside 999

07:50...Watchdog Test House

10:30 .................... This Morning

11:45........................... Watchdog Test House

08:20....Wanted Down Under

11:25 ............................ITV News

09:05...................Bible Hunters

11:30 .................... This Morning

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:05............. An Island Parish

12:30.................. Loose Women

13:00.............BBC News at One

10:35...........................HARDtalk

13:30......... BBC London News

11:00......................... BBC News

13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather

13:45.............................. Doctors

11:30 ............BBC World News

14:15......................... Perfection

12:00 ........... The Daily Politics

15:00............................ Escape to the Country

13:00 ...............The A to Z of TV Cooking

15:45...................James Martin’s Food Map of Britain

13:20 .........................War Walks

16:15.................................. Flog it!

Trade Secrets

14:40 .........Cagney and Lacey

10:00 ........... Homes Under the Hammer

17:15............................. Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six

Celebrity Juice ITV2, 22.00 Comedy panel show which sees Radio One DJ Fearne Cotton going up against TV presenter Holly Willoughby to see who knows the most about this week’s celebrity news.

Joining the panel this week is pop princess Pixie Lott and Irish boy band royalty Kian Egan.

Presiding over the proceedings is the inimitable and outrageous host Keith Lemon.

18:30..... BBC London News 19:00............The One Show 19:30................. EastEnders 20:00........................Holiday Hit Squad 21:00....... Famous, Rich and Hungry In the concluding episode of this documentary series, four famous volunteers try to untangle the complicated reasons and life choices that lie behind Britain’s hidden hunger crisis and are challenged to try and help four UK households find a way out of food poverty. Made in Chelsea’s Jamie Laing finds himself living in a Sheffield tower block with a struggling single dad who introduces him to the unfamiliar world of charity and soup kitchens. Journalist Rachel Johnson moves in with ex-offenders struggling to find work and afford to feed their children. Meanwhile, business tycoon Theo Paphitis attempts to help his security guard host find a solution to his family’s crippling debts. And Eastender Cheryl Fergison is spurred into action when her host is left with no money for food because her benefits have not been processed.

22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35............Question Time 23:35................... This Week

13:50 ................... British Isles: A Natural History 15:25 ........................... Bergerac 16:15 ............................... Are You Being Served?

16:45 ......................... ‘Allo, ‘Allo!

17:15 .....Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..........Revenge of the Egghead 18:30 .............Sport Relief’s Top Dog 19:00..................... Antiques Road Trip

14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal Matlock in Derbyshire plays host to David Dickinson and his team of dealers today, as Brenda Haller has her work cut out with a seller who has brought in a silver water jug, Tony Geering tries his best to buy an Asprey’s powder compact and one seller drives a hard bargain for her Moroccan watercolour.

15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00.................... Tipping Point 17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:15 ............. ITV News and Weather 18:45 ................ Emmerdale 19:45..........UEFA Europa CW League choice

Antiques experts David Harper and James Lewis drive from Belfast to Kendal in their search for antiques. On the way, they stumple upon the most remote antiques dealers they can find.

20:00........ The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Cookery series in which the Hairy Bikers tour the birthplaces of favourite Asian cuisines. The bikers head off into the heart of traditional Japan to find out the historic roots of Japanese cuisine. Dave puts his Strictly fancy footwork into action kneading noodle dough the artisan way, they take an aweinspiring bike ride to see Mount Fuji, spend a night at a Buddhist temple and are entertained by one of Kyoto’s geisha, complete with traditional drinking games.

21:00.......My Week with CW Marilyn choice 22:10 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30................. Newsnight 22:45.......... Edge of Heaven 23:20.............................. The 23:45 ....................The Cube Restaurant Man

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Thursday Thursday 13th March 06:00 .........................Paralympic Winter Games

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:00............................. M.I. High

08:45........Bananas in Pyjamas

06:25 ...........Coronation Street

06:30 .............................M.I. High

08:00 ...........The Morning Line

09:00......................... Tickety Toc

06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:00 ...................... Robin Hood

09:00..........................Paralympic Winter Games

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

08:00 ........................ Masterchef South Africa

11:00 .........................Paralympic Winter Games

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

09:00.................................The Bill

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

10:00 ................................The Bill

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

12:00........................... Babylon 5

12:30 .............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:35.......................Cheltenham Festival 16:30 ....................Four in a Bed 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:30 .................Paralympic Winter Games

11:10 .........Police Interceptors 12:15 ................ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ................ Cinderella Pact 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00 ........ The Truth About Travellers

12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed!

14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey 17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00................ Dinner Date

20:00 ...............The Hoarder Next Door

20:00............It Takes a Thief to Catch a Thief

19:00.................You’ve Been Framed!

21:00 ................ Astronauts

21:00.................... The Hotel Inspector

20:00... Two and a Half Men

22:00....Botched Up Bodies

22:00......Celebrity Juice

23:05 ...................Arkle: The Legend Lives on

23:00............. Extraordinary People

22:50 ........................... Dads

06:00...............UK Border Force

06:00.........Nothing to Declare

06:00 ..............Home Shopping

07:00 ....................... Airline USA

06:30.........Nothing to Declare

07:30....................... Airline USA 08:00 ................Modern Family

08:00...................RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00...................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

09:00 ...........................Futurama

10:00 .......................Fat Families

09:00 .............................Top Gear

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

11:00 .................. Fat and Proud

11:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

11:00 ..................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

22:00 ................How to be a Billionaire

12:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

21:00 ........The Big Reunion

CW

choice

23:15 ...........................Mom

08:00 .......................Man v Food

12:00 .......................Man v Food

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

13:00 .............................Top Gear

16:00 .........Emergency Animal Rescue

15:00...................... World’s Most Dangerous Roads

17:00............ Sun, Sea and A&E

16:00....................... Man v Food

16:00 ...........................Futurama

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

17:00 .............................Top Gear

17:00.................. The Simpsons

18:3...... Nothing to Declare

19:00......... Motorway Cops

17:30 ................Modern Family

20:00............America’s Next Top Model

20:00........................... QI XL

21:00....... My Kitchen Rules

22:00 ..........Mock the Week

14:00 ................. Harrow: A Very British School 15:00 ......... Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

18:30............ The Simpsons 20:00 .........................Arrow

22:00................Doll and Em

21:00 ........................... Suits

22:00................. Revolution

22:30.................. CSI: Miami

22:40............. Dara O’Briain: School of Hard Sums

23:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:30..........................Bones

23:40............................QI XL

21:00................. The Smoke

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who 13:00 .......................... Sanctuary 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00........ The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 19:00..................Masterchef South Africa 20:00......................... Grimm 21:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story 22:00............... Airport 24/7 23:00 ................ Traffic Cops

06:00 .............Thirtysomething 07:00 .......................Blue Bloods 08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 12:00................ Without a Trace 13:00.................................. House 15:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00......................... House 20:00 .......................... David Attenborough’s Micro Monsters 20:30 .......................... David Attenborough’s Micro Monsters 21:00.................. Petrol Age 22:00 ............... Blue Bloods 23:00...................... Banshee

35 CW

W C choice

06:00............................ Switched 06:25...................................90210 07:10.......................... Ugly Betty 08:00............................ Charmed 09:00......................................Glee 10:00..............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00........................... Charmed 12:00... Rules of Engagement 12:30.......................... Hollyoaks 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00......The Big Bang Theory 15:00..............................New Girl 15:30...........The Mindy Project 16:00.... Rules of Engagement 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks 19:30........... How I Met Your Mother 20:00....The Big Bang Theory 20:30........... How I Met Your Mother 21:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 21:30......The Inbetweeners 22:00................. Fresh Meat 22:50.............................Troy 23:55.................. Rude Tube

UEFA Europa League Live Tottenham Hotspur v Benfica ITV1, 19.45

06:00...................Good Morning Sports Fans

The tale of a young film studio assistant’s blossoming relationship with screen goddess Marilyn Monroe, set against a backdrop of the making of The Prince and the Showgirl. As Monroe struggles on and offscreen with co-star Sir Laurence Olivier, a 23-year-old assistant escorts the recently married star around London. In the absence of her new husband, the lonely diva finds solace in the young man’s company as her relationship deteriorates.

09:00......... Champions League Highlights 10:00 ............What’s the Story?

11:00 ........ Champions League Highlights 12:00 ..................................What’s the Story?

13:00 ........ Champions League Highlights 14:00 ............What’s the Story?

15:00 .........Indian Wells Tennis 16:00 ............What’s the Story?

17:00 .....................................FL72 18:00 .....................Ringside 19:00 ......... Premier League Darts 22:30 .....................Ringside 23:30......... The Rugby Club

Matt Smith is joined by Gordon Strachan for live Europa League action with Tottenham Hotspur playing host to last season’s beaten finalists Benfica for a place in the last eight of the competition.

Tottenham will be looking to build on their dramatic victory over FC Dnipro in the last round with another great European night at White Hart Lane in this first leg tie. With commentary from Sam Matterface and Andy Townsend.

My Week with Marilyn BBC2, 21:00

CW 36

www.canarianweekly.com

Entertainment

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

These Kracking combinations!

YOU’D have been hardpushed to find more than just a handful of duos or trios in Tenerife 15 years ago.

Pairings like the award-winning Kracker, who have been on the Island for many years, entertaining the masses. And they are still packing them in at Bar 39 in Los Cristianos every night.

Also, the Looney Tunes (Freddie Kay & Dave Dean) at Shennanigans are still as popular as they were almost two decades ago.

Both pairs are fabulous duos, who offer comedy as well as song. They all play instruments and are dedicated to keeping music live.

There is, however, a new trend emerging. Vocal harmony duos and groups are coming to the fore. A few weeks ago, I wrote about new arrival Darren Clarke, now based here permanently and taking bookings for solo work.

Years ago, Darren worked in the North East of England alongside Tenerife singer Paul Monroe in various lineups.

Their vocal magic was

rekindled just over a month ago when Darren joined Paul for an impromptu jam. It was far from a jam, and I said in a previous issue that it would be a crime against entertainment if these two didn’t collaborate.

Well, I have the pleasure of introducing Uproar, Tenerife’s newest vocal harmony duo.

They had their first official gig on Saturday night - and there is no other word to describe them but outstanding.

The way they navigate through a song is somewhat unpredictable, yet the harmony between the two voic-

es is exceptional, and you will get the feeling that you’re hearing the song for the first time.

It takes a great deal of musical ability and talent to produce this tight sound and create a vocal blend so pleasing to the ear. The harmonics of two voices working in union on songs which were written and arranged as solo numbers is exciting and awe-inspiring, especially when it is delivered so expertly. Needless to say, I booked them straight away for Ye Olde Ocean.

I know that Ray Wilde, compere at St Eugenes Bar, has already booked Darren as a solo artiste.

And now that there’s a buzz going around about Uproar, I wouldn’t be sur-

prised to see an Uproar poster on St Eugenes billboard very soon.

There are only so many nights in a week, so these guys will be snapped up quick - they already have three nights covered.

I’ll put my neck on the line here and say that they will produce the goods, no matter what the venue. They cover music of all genres and the show has pace.

And early on in the show, their Westside Story Medley will blow you away.

So what else is new?

IT’S not just old stage relationships creating a buzz …there are some new ones coming together as well.

Last week, female vocalist Suzie Moore joined Phenomenon guitar-vocalist Ollie “Showbiz” Cusack on stage.

And after a really successful show, with lots of banter from their strong personalities, they have also decided to pursue something that started off as a “let’s-try-it-and- see what-happens” project.

They haven’t decided on a name yet, but watch this space.

Duos Storm, Gee Whizz and System X have always had success in their respective venues with this format and, no doubt, so will Ollie and Suzie.

LAST Saturday night, Mega Rock hosted the first workers’ party of 2014, with the bowling lanes open throughout the night and games at just three euros each.

Entertainment was provided in the form of DJ Woody, from Tramps, and resident host Terry Ellens working together, with karaoke from Terry and musical breaks from Woody.

They are good friends, which is apparent from the word go, often performing songs together with great entertainment value.

This is something Mega Rock would like to stage regularly, and it’s perfect for the Island’s workforce as things don’t get going till around 2am.

The venue stays open until 5am, and, guess what? They feed you, too! A lovely spread was being laid on when I arrived around 2.30am, which was a nice surprise.

All this food and discount bowling with friends and colleagues was the perfect alternative to a usual Saturday night in Tenerife.

Manager Natalie is aware that most workers would have to take a cab to Fañabe, so the food is a gesture from the bar to try to offset the cost of a taxi. Works for me every time - feed me and I’m there!

I bet they’ll need more food next time. Details of that night will be printed on this page.

Bernie’s bucket of goodwill IT’S always a pleasure to be asked to host a large event - and even better when you are helping to raise money for a worthy cause.

Bernie Singleton, AKA Bernie Bucket, has just returned to the UK after another successful fundraiser here in Tenerife.

The artistes who gave up their time at Showtime and performed on the night cannot be thanked enough.

Nathan Jones, Keith Singleton, Ged Bolton, Sebastian Whittaker, Dominic James and Suzie Moore all produced the goods, and the Showtime staff were as friendly and welcoming as they always are.

But special attention

must be paid to the generosity of the audience and the local companies who donated all the prizes for the main raffle.

Libra Shoes kindly gave handbags worth over 300 euros, and Tenerife Pearl, in Armenime, gave a beautiful necklace worth over 200 euros.

Regardless of the prize values, Bernie has asked Canarian Weekly to pass on her sincere thanks to everyone who supported this year’s event by donating prizes or simply just buying a ticket for the show.

The total sum raised during Bernie’s stay here was 4,136.44 euros an immense amount for Cancer Research UK. See you all next year!

www.canarianweekly.com 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Entertainment

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Home and Lifestyle

By Sue McDonald PUT away those ugg boots and fleecy pyjamas, Spring is nearly upon us! (yes, really)!

Don’t forget that if, like me, you have no heating in your house, it is considerably colder inside your home than

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Spring nearly in the air! it would be in a UK property, where they have the heating set to about 20 degrees).

It is also time to take a good look at your property and decide what you can do to brighten it up and make it look smarter and fresher.

If you are a believer in Spring cleaning, (and I don’t include myself in that), you will be moving everything around anyway, and you will see if your room can be laid out in a different way.

Also, take a look at your curtains and throws, and see if a change is needed. Adding a dash of colour can lift a whole room for little expenditure.

Colours have a great influence on your mood, and, because of the different light and climate here, we can get away with much more vibrant colours, and can afford to use the colder side of the spectrum as well.

If you have had your mattresses for several years, perhaps it is

time to change it. After all, a good night’s sleep is important for all, whether you are working, on holiday, or retired.

Our best seller is a model which has a sprung centre, and 6cm of visco elastic. This is an ideal combination of firmness at the core, and a soft upper layer for comfort. Latex beds where you sink into them, trap body heat.

A great seller in the UK, but not so much here!

Curtains and sun-curtains are another way of completely changing your room. Sunblock curtains are very important over here.

They can protect your furniture from fading, and will help to keep the rooms cool and dark.

We also use white material sunblock, and have sunblock material in more than 20 colours, which means it can be co-ordinated with the rest of the interior, and you no longer need two separate curtains.

Sofa beds are also something relatively rare in the UK, but quite commonplace here. Obviously, if your property is rented out, this increases the number of people you can accommodate, and, therefore, increases your income.

But even for residents, a sofa bed can be very useful for guests – and we all know that it is surprising how many friends and family we have once we have moved to Tenerife.

Again, technology and design has moved on, and the latest sofa beds do not compromise on comfort as a sofa, and the beds have proper sprung or visco mattresses.

You can’t tell by looking that it is a sofa bed, so you can always fib if you don’t want someone to stay.

So take a fresh look at your home and see what you can brighten up for Spring.

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Garden

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

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These everlasting flowers are blooming marvellous!

By Margaret Tully WOULDN’T it be wonderful to have a plant in your garden that just kept on flowering for weeks and weeks.

Well, this plant exists right here in the Canaries - and has done for millions of years.

It is commonly known as Sea Lavender or Statice, but its proper name is Limonium. And there are between 120-150 species, of which a good proportion is endemic to the Canary Islands.

There is the Limonium pectinatum, which means “like a comb”, and describes the shape of the flowers on the tiny stems. It is a very small plant and flowers about now.

I spotted a whole cluster of these plants growing wild along the coast and inland over here, and I thought how they looked nothing like their more famous relatives, Limonium Vulgare, (Common Sea Lavender).

They grow about 12ins from the ground, but the little flowers are distinctively Limonium if you have a close look.

The photo showing the

tiny white flowers close up lets you see how alike they are.

I find it really difficult to identify the larger plants I have spotted, and I believe that because these plants are now hybridised, it is not always an easy task.

I came across what I think is Limonium arborescens, meaning treelike; hence the name Tree Limonium, but I am not sure.

The photo shows clearly how this plant has a strong stem and

a bark has formed on it. On the other hand it could be Limonium fruticans, but this is supposed to be a protected species as its numbers are dwindling.

I saw it in various gardens but not in its natural habitat, so it could be that new plants are being encouraged.

These plants grow to a height of approximately 36ins, which is quite a difference from the Limonium pectinatum.

As you can see from the photos, they are vibrant

and look good in a garden.

You can grow them from seed in Spring.

They will take anything up to 21 days to germinate and then you must prick the seedlings out and transplant on as the little plantlets get larger.

You can always buy one plant from a garden centre and make new plants through division in the following year, allowing this plant to establish itself first.

The flowers are deli-

cate, borne on short stems, and they range in various colours, mainly purple, pink, blue and white, but there are also some yellow and pale orange flowers, which grow in clusters.

The flowers are small and attractive, are tubular or cup-shaped and form dense rosettes.

They can be used in dried-flower arrangements as they dry really well and can last a long time, their colour fading gradually. You can also display them as freshcut flowers.

The foliage is dark green, oval or lanceshaped, lobed with wavy and sometimes serrated edges, and some of the species are evergreen.

They like to grow in well-drained soil in a warm spot. But, as their common name of Statice suggests, they can tolerate lower temperatures.

The word limonium is from the Greek, meaning marshy grassland - its favoured habitat.

But it also grows on the cliffs of the sea shore and has managed to adapt to its changing environments.

It is considered as a plant that can be grown to stop the erosion of the sea shore because its roots keep the sandy soil netted together.

It has also been called

a herb because it was used medicinally in the past. It has a positive effect on deflecting free radicals in polluted environments, and there is much study into this plant today based on its past use.

Here is a list of some of the Limonium species found in the Canaries, which are recorded in plant data bases and herbariums.

It is always useful to look up other species of a plant to see the differences between them.

This helps identify the actual plant you may have (or want) in your garden.

Around the world, people hold private collections of different plants from the same family, and there is no reason why you couldn’t be someone who starts a collection of Limonium such as: Limonium pectinatum Limonium fruticans Limonium arborescens Limonium bourgaei Limonium brassicifolium Limonium imbricatum Limonium macrophyllum Limonium macropterium Limonium perezii Limonium preauxii Limonium puberulum Limonium spectabile Happy planting!

SOW IT… GROW IT… TASTE IT WHEN I first looked at the Latin name for this plant, I assumed it had something to do with lemons, as in “Limon”, but it doesn’t.

However, I thought it was reason enough to feature a recipe includ-

ing the fruit lemons.

And this particular recipe incorporates Lavender, which, being part of the common name for the Limonium, gives me another reason to include it.

Lemon and Lavender

Brownies Ingredients For the base *1 cup softened butter *½ cup of white sugar *2 cups all-purpose flour For the top *4 eggs

*1½ cups white sugar *¼ cup all-purpose flour *Juice of 2 lemons Method *Pre-heat oven to 175ºC *In a medium bowl, blend together all the ingredients for the base *Press into the bottom of

an ungreased 9x13in pan *Bake for 15-20 minutes in pre-heated oven until firm and golden *In another bowl, whisk together flour and sugar for the top and then whisk in the 4 eggs and the lemon juice. Pour

over the baked crust *Bake for further 20 minutes in pre-heated oven The Brownies will firm up as they cool and, once the pan has cooled, cut into squares and serve.

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Health and Beauty

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Stub it out parents

By Val Sainsbury CHILDREN with parents who smoke are at risk of permanent damage to their arteries in later life.

A study suggests that exposure to mum and dad puffing away leads to thickening of the artery walls, meaning the kids will be at greater risk of heart attacks and strokes.

The researchers estimated that the increased level of second-hand smoke in the home adds an extra 3.3 years to the age of blood vessels by the time the children grow up.

The study involved 2,401 children from Finland and 1,375 children in Australia, aged between three and 18.

Researchers asked questions about the smoking habits of parents, using ultrasound to measure the thickness of the children’s artery walls once they had

THEY are already cursed with the less-than-flattering description of being “vertically challenged”.

Now, experts say short people may also be intellectually challenged - at least in comparison with their taller counterparts.

A new study has found a link between IQ and height, suggesting that

reached adulthood.

The study is the first to follow children through to adulthood in order to examine the association between exposure to parental smoking and increased carotid intimamedia thickness (IMT) - a measurement of the thickness of the innermost two layers of the arterial wall.

Carotid relates to either of the two major arteries supplying blood to the

head and neck. And the team found that carotid IMT in adulthood was 0.015mm thicker in those exposed to both parents smoking than in those whose parents did not smoke. It meant an increase from an average of 0.637mm to 0.652mm.

Dr Seana Gall, a research fellow in cardiovascular epidemiology at the Menzies Research Institute Tasmania and the University of Tasma-

nia, said: “While the differences in artery thickness are modest, it is important to consider that they represent the independent effect of a single measure of exposure.

“That is, whether the parents smoked at the start of the studies, some 20 years earlier in a group already at greater risk of heart disease.

“For example, those with both parents smoking were more likely, as

adults, to be smokers or overweight than those whose parents didn’t smoke.

“Our study shows that exposure to passive smoke in childhood causes a direct and irreversible damage to the structure of the arteries.

“Parents, or even those thinking about becoming parents, should quit smoking. This will not only restore their own health but also protect the health of their children into the future.”

The researchers accounted for factors such as education, the children’s smoking habits, physical activity, and cardiovascular risk factors, such as blood pressure and cholesterol levels in adulthood.

The study did not show an effect if just one parent smoked, says a report in the European Heart Journal.

Dr Gall said “We think the effect was apparent only with both parents smoking because of the greater overall dose of smoke to which these children were exposed.

“We can speculate that the smoking behaviour of someone in a house with a single adult smok-

ing is different.

“For example, the parent who smokes might do so outside, away from the family, which reduces the level of passive smoking.’

Doireann Maddock, Senior Cardiac Nurse at the British Heart Foundation, said: “The negative health effects of passive smoking are well known.

“But this study goes a step further and shows it can cause potentially irreversible damage to children’s arteries, and could increase their risk of heart attack and stroke in later life.

“If you’re a smoker, the single, most effective way of reducing your child’s exposure to passive smoke is for you to quit.

“Wednesday (12th March) is No Smoking Day, when more than a million smokers will all try to quit in the UK’s biggest mass attempt to stop, so it’s a great opportunity to help yourself and your children.

“If this isn’t possible, having a smoke-free home and car offers the best alternative to help protect your child from the harmful effects of passive smoke.”

Small people - Small IQ? those who are shorter are, on average, more likely to be less intelligent.

Academics who identified genes that influence both height and IQ said there was a “significant genetic correlation” between the two factors.

The research, which covered more than 6,800 unrelated people, is the

first to analyse DNA markers in such a way.

Riccardo Marioni, from Edinburgh University’s Institute of Genetics and Molecular Medicine, said the link was small but important.

“We tested whether DNA-based genetic similarities among people related to their similarities in height and intelligence,” he added.

“Previous studies have used twin or family data to examine similarities between height and intelligence, whereas ours was the first to examine this, using actual DNA markers in unrelated people.

“What we found was a small association between height and intelligence, such that people who are taller tend to be smarter.’

The claim is likely to be disputed by millions of people in Britain, who fall short of the average height: 5ft 3in for women and 5ft 9in for men.

One almost certain to dispute is John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, who at 5ft 5ins is dwarfed by Sally, his 5ft 11in wife.

But among those who appear to prove the theory is Prime Minister David Cameron, who at 6ft 1in is blessed with both height and intelligence.

Others include actress Kate Beckinsale, who studied French and Russian literature at Oxford and is fluent in both languages.

Actor Stephen Fry, who hosts the puzzlebased television show QI, is 6ft 5in.

Marioni conducted his

study in partnership with academics from Aberdeen University and University College London.

They based their findings on data compiled from thousands of people recruited for the Scottish Family Health Study between 2006 and 2011.

Their IQ was measured by tests which examined reaction times, powers of recall and linguistic ability.

In a paper submitted to the Behavior Genetics journal, the team said that about 70% of the link could be explained by genetics, and the rest by environmental influences.

They added: “We found a moderate and statistically-significant genetic correlation between height and general intelligence.”

It is hoped that revealing the genetic correlation between height and IQ could help pre-

dict a person’s health problems, according to a Sunday Times report.

Previous studies have linked short stature to heightened risk of cardiovascular disease.

Higher IQ has been linked to longevity and a decreased risk of coronary heart disease, stroke and suicide.

Previous studies have also claimed that shortman syndrome, known as the Napoleon complex, does exist.

Researchers at Oxford University recently found that feeling smaller made people paranoid, distrustful and scared of others.

In fact, men of about 5ft 4in have been shown to be 50% more likely to be jealous and distrustful of their partners than those measuring 6ft 6in.

Studies have also claimed smaller people are more likely than taller ones to have poor mental health.

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Health and Fashion

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

MAGIC HANDS?

Primark precision is so evident again

By Carl from Robot

By Ruth Benson

WHILE working in the salon, I get to hear lots of clients talking about what they would like from us as stylists.

PRIMARK has now been open just over a week and I have now been to the Santa Cruz store twice.

I overhear people asking for certain things that are just not possible. New clients enter and ask for small miracles, and it’s up to us to give honest, genuine advice to clients.

Hair is a natural substance … some say dead, but I think alive as it continues (normally) to grow, year in year out.

I still am amazed and sometimes shocked about what people think can and might happen to their hair, or the things they ask for that cannot physically be done.

We work as stylists with our substance (hair), just as a carpenter works with wood, or a chef with food. We try our hardest to explain in simple terms the whys and hows of our trade.

Yet sometimes, what we get asked is nigh on impossible.

For instance: “I’d like my straight hair to have lots of volume, but I don’t want to do anything styling-wise with it.”

But hair can be given volume only with the use of styling aids such as rollers or hairdryers.

If you don’t put the effort in, you’ll get nothing out, no matter what we do to your hair.

Another aspect is that sometimes the general public think that ANY hair colour can be removed with a magic wand back to its original state.

But this simply isn’t possible. ALL hair colours, and that includes semi-permanents, deposit some colour on to the hair which can be removed with another colour only.

Not cutting your hair will NOT make it grow quicker. If your hair splits because of this, then the split part will travel up your hair and break more off.

If it’s splitting, the only solution is scissors - there is no other answer. If stylists say No when you ask for a cut or treatment, be it a new style or a new colour, take this as a sign that, normally, they have your best interests at heart.

If you’re demanding something to which they say No, then try to listen because there is usually a good explanation why you I’m not saying all of this to be clever, or to make you feel that clients cannot voice an opinion. I’m trying to help you, as clients of whichever salon you visit.

Please understand that us stylists have the chemicals available and the techniques which CAN change the way your hair is, and scissors that can perform small miracles in the right hands.

But magicians we aren’t. One of my favourite sayings when asked for something impossible (and this is said tongue in cheek by those who know me) is that I’m not Paul Daniels.

If it’s possible to do, we will do it. But if it’s going to look bad or damage your hair, then the answer normally is a polite No. In this financial crisis which, thankfully, we are slowly coming out of, it would be too easy to grab money from whoever is throwing it our way.

But at the end of the day, it’s you wearing it - and our name that hangs from it like a label.

Let your stylists help you find a solution to your hair problem, but please don’t just accept what your being told without asking questions, or being given a full explanation as to why you can’t have what you want.

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My first visit was last Thursday for the opening, and I was lucky enough to be invited for the press launch and opening ceremony.

And from walking into the shopping centre itself, to leaving the store, every single part of my experience of Primark can be explained in one word: professional.

As I mentioned last week, the store itself was well presented and eye-catching but that was not all. The whole spirit of the opening just had that feel-good factor.

I know the company has opened over 260 shops, so staff should know what they are doing. But as I awaited the ribbon to be cut to announce the grand opening, I was talking to a gentleman who had been to many such Primark occasions.

I explained that this was my first opening and asked whether they were always as upbeat, or had the Carnaval spirit taken over the shop.

He said the atmosphere was normal, but he did add that the reaction from staff and the whole hype there seemed a little extra from other occasions.

Maybe it was the Carnaval effect, with the

staff dressed up and the first 50 customers in fancy-dress receiving a 25 euro voucher.

I came away feeling optimistic about the store.

I know many thought they would soon run out of stock, that the momentum would wear off and that people would be in a frenzy to get a bargain. But this wasn’t the case on the opening day.

So what else could I do but take another visit.

To be honest, my intention was not just to do a review. My nine-yearold daughter begged me to take her up to spend some money.

So we all trekked up on the first Saturday after opening. Are you mad, I hear you ask? I had pre-warned her that it could be busy and that we might have to wait a long time.

We got to Primark

just before midday.

There was a queue when we got there and, while waiting, we were handed a shopping bag - everything was again very professional and calm.

We waited no longer than five minutes before my daughter could grab some bargains. The experience was very pleasant, with nobody rushing or pushing.

Once we had got our purchases, and may I add that they included things for my 11-yearold son and me - we went to pay.

Again, it was organised and very efficient, and we all left the shop feeling very happy with our purchases, with singing Primark’s praises.

When will I be going back? Well the kids are off school this week, so we might just pop up again!

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Food and Drink

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

We’re not going bananas over this dreadful disease AROUND 24 million hectares of banana plantations around the world are affected by the fungus known as black sigatoka … but not in the Canaries. Yet!

The fungus (Mycosphaerella fijensis) attacks the leaves of the banana plant, which causes a dramatic effect on the plant’s ability to photosynthesise (the process during which a plant converts light energy into chemical energy to effectively feed itself).

This, in turn, can affect production drastically.

The disease itself was first identified by the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Association (FAO) in 1963, and since then it has gone on to affect about half of the world’s dwarf bananas.

Bananas in the Canary Islands - one of the chief exports - have so far not been affected, mainly because of the weather.

Alicia Orozco, from the

Association of Banana Producing Organisations, said there were several contributory factors.

Firstly, the Islands’ remoteness from huge land masses acts as a barrier to stop the fungus from reaching the archipelago.

Secondly, the weather conditions in the Canaries are not favourable for the fungus, which survives better in areas where there are predominantly high winds, high temperatures and extreme humidity.

Thirdly, and probably most importantly, all banana plants in the Canaries are native to the Islands; no plants have been imported from areas where the fungus is rife, which means the risk to our crops is minimal.

Latest reports from the

FAO indicate that the fungus affects 25-30% of bananas grown in the United States So, why the furore now?

The dwarf banana, which does not produce seeds, was adopted as a hardy variety in the Sixties, when a different fungus started to wipe out banana crops.

Now, all these years later, black sigatoka is threatening the dwarf banana, which has no resistance. If one plant is affected, then so will the whole crop.

On the whole, bananagrowers are reluctant to use fungicides as they not only push up the price of the crop, but have been linked (by the FAO) to health problems, including stunted growth in children.

In the same way as humans become resistant to antibiotics, so fungi can become immune to fungicides; in fact, there are already some varieties of fungus which are immune to previouslyeffective fungicides.

A research project is underway by the FAO to develop dwarf bananas which are immune to the fungus, by treating seedlings with a mix of X and Gamma radiation.

First results seem to indicate that three resistant mutations have been found to be resistant to the fungus.

The fungus is still a major threat, but not in the Canary Islands … for now, anyway!

www.canarianweekly.com 7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

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A Senior View & Community News

By Monica Dyson IT seems that retirement can have a lot to answer for because researchers warn that leaving a busy, working life can lead to real problems unless they are addressed properly.

As pensioners, we’ve been through the runup to retirement.

Sometimes, it’s welcomed and sometimes it’s not. But sure as eggs are eggs, it arrives.

Although, should the Government here in the UK keep altering the pension age, it may never arrive for some people!

The thought of putting your feet up and doing nothing can be tempting. But when it stretches out day after day, month after month, the reality is not always quite the Utopia you might have thought.

And, unfortunately, it

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

On yer bike, pops! can lead to complete stagnation if you’re not careful, both physically and mentally - as well as depression in many cases.

It’s not rocket science, is it? Physical inactivity leads to lethargy, loss of muscle power and agility, weight gain and health problems.

Whereas, mental inactivity can soon mean you are unable to cope with life and find it difficult to make even the simplest decisions.

This is why hobbies are vital in retirement.

Many people have always filled their spare time with activities.

But for others, work was their life and they find they have very little outside of it once it’s no longer there.

If you’ve had a long list of things you’ve been waiting for retirement to do, then don’t lose the list! Just one new interest can keep your mind healthier for longer.

Sport, reading, dancing, socialising and travelling not only keep the body and brain sharp, but also help stave off the depression that can

set in when we suddenly find our day is no longer structured.

Even mild signs of depression can mean the retired person may be suffering deterioration in his/her brain power, which highlights the importance of keeping busy with enjoyable activities.

Researchers say retirement coincides with the start of a natural decline in brain power that old age brings and, if we can take up mentallydemanding hobbies, so much the better.

The 2012 Olympic Games were responsible for an increase of activity levels generally, with many pensioners taking advantage of fitness classes at their local gym.

However, it seems that the excitement over the Tour de France, (which will boost the economy of the UK, so we are told), has in itself led to a few problems, with an increase of “silver cyclists”.

The ad men who coined the phrases like WAGS (Wives and Girlfriends) and SKIS (Spending the Kids In-

heritance) have come up with MAMILS (Middle-Aged Men in Lycra), to be followed, possibly,

by PILS (Pensioners in Lycra!).

No longer are we faced with the red-faced, fat-wobbling of the middle-aged jogger. Oh no, the fat is now wobbling courtesy of two wheels.

I always thought an elderly or middle-aged crisis for men manifested itself through a dolly bird, sports car or even a Harley Davidson motorbike and not a bicycle.

But whereas previously, men may have also have spent much of their retirement teeing off on the golf course, many of them have now discovered the joy of Lycra. And there’s no stopping them!

When I visited Los Gigantes a month or so ago, I thought the hills might prove an obstacle. There is even one the local Brits call Cardiac Hill!

However, exercise in later years, whether for men or women, has to be approached with caution. The level of fit-

ness of adults over the age of 60 varies from person to person.

There is no doubt that even a little physical activity is better than none. But, suddenly, starting to do something quite strenuous when you are a bit older can do more harm than good.

Muscle strength declines with age, although it is possible to build up your muscles with strengthening exercises.

So, if you are newlyretired and would like to take up some form of fitness, it is quite a good idea to seek your doctor’s advice about an exercise plan.

Studies show that older adults who do physical exercise are healthier and less likely to develop serious, long-term conditions than those who don’t.

Regular exercise can reduce your risk of contracting many illnesses like heart disease, strokes, diabetes, high blood pressure and osteoporosis.

It will also improve your abilities to continue with everyday activi-

ties, help with memory and reasoning skills and give you a sense of purpose, well-being and self-esteem.

Start slowly and build up how much physical activity you do. Aim for a little each week. It’s great to see how many pensioners take a walk each morning on the Island.

Let’s face it, the sun is a great incentive to get out. And if you’ve got a pool, swimming is a beneficial and gentle exercise.

Keep motivated. It is a good idea to join a class because you can encourage each other.

This can also lead to a better social life.

Exercise safely and, should you feel any discomfort, stop straight away and see your doctor.

And if you are one of the MAMILS or PILS widows, whose husband has suddenly started to shave his legs, or borrow your fake tan, here’s the answer.

Every time he buys a fluorescent cycling jersey, buy a new pair of shoes! That’s what I say!

Swallows tread the boards and raise fortune for charity

Oh! What A Lovely result!

THE Swallows Drama Group put on a production of Oh! What A Lovely War under the guidance of Director Mike Huntington – and raised a fortune for their charity fund.

They also played to packed houses on 27th & 28th February at the Cultural Centre in Los Cristianos.

The group started in late October and is made up of people who come out for the winter and residents of various ages.

From October to February the group rehearsed twice a week with most of the cast

taking on at least two parts each.

There was also a sewing group who spent many hours making all the costumes. And the music was played professionally by Paul Lowe.

Oh! What A Lovely War was chosen especially by Mike as this year is the centenary of World War 1, which began in 1914.

One hundred years ago, the western nations engaged in a terrible conflict, billed at the time as the war to end all wars.

The show, first staged in 1963, has become a

tribute to those who fought bravely - and the foolhardiness of some of their endeavours as “lions led by donkeys”.

There was a mixture of sadness and laugh-

ter throughout the play with all the cast performing with enthusiasm and a notably strong ethos of team work.

An extremely enter-

taining two nights was had by all with the added benefit of 1,785 euros being raised for The Swallows’ chosen charity of Cancer Research, here in Tenerife.

A delighted Carole Hart, who runs The Swallows, said “This has been a massive commitment by Mike and the cast over the past five months, with

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Community News

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

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Accion del Sol news

Dangerous Dogs’ licence is not so easy to come by AS well as registering your dog at your local Town Hall, regardless of breed or size, the following dogs require an additional Dangerous Dog Licence:

Pit Bull Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Rottweiler, Dogo Argentino, Fila Brasileiro, Tosa Inu Akita.

What do you need to do to get your dangerous dog legalised in Tenerife? That’s a question we are often asked, and the answer is somewhat complicated.

It involves a lot of red tape and some rather unusual processes to go through. Put simply, though, it is the law of the land.

But please don’t let complexities put you off because if you truly love your dog, you will

want to protect it and safeguard its future, as well as doing everything within your power to avoid any sort of tragedy.

Accion del Sol director Marion, who supplied all the information, will be happy to explain anything you don’t understand if you would like to phone, visit or email her.

You will see from our list which breeds are

classified as potentially dangerous. They need a special licence and are subject to strict controls, such as being muzzled when being walked (and only one at a time).

And they can be owned only by someone over 18 without a police record.

Don’t think you won’t be stopped because police all over the Island are being more vigilant about this problem

and do conduct spotchecks.

Your first step is to go to the SAC office at your local town hall and request a form known as Solicitud de Inscripcion en el Censo de Animales Domesticos Y/O Potencialmente Peligrosos.

You will need various papers, such as your NIE and passport and your dog’s microchipping evidence, etc.

And the document is in Spanish.

Next, surprisingly, you have to take yourself to your local centro medico and have a medical to determine whether you are fit to keep a potentially dangerous dog (eyesight, blood pressure, reactions etc) and why you want one.

You will also be asked to undertake a lengthy

questionnaire, which costs 53 euros - the highest outlay.

A visit to the Mapfre building in Santa Cruz is also necessary for a certificate, which will eventually be returned to you confirming you have no criminal record.

If you do have one, you will not be allowed to get a licence.

You also need to take out dog insurance, with a minimum cover of 120,000 euros (on your house insurance or a separate policy), and you will need to sign and complete another form from the SAC (Peticion de Antecedentes Penales de Registro Central de Penados y Rebeldes).

Eventually, you take all the papers, microchipping document,

inoculation verifications, etc, back to the SAC and you will receive a preliminary certificate.

Subject to all the paperwork being correct, your licence will be issued a month or so later.

As you can guess, the whole process is lengthy and complicated, but it is the correct way to legalise your potentiallydangerous dog.

Incidentally, be aware that if someone else is walking your dog and it attacks a person or another animal, it is still your responsibility and has no bearing on the walker.

Your premises should also display a “dangerous dog” sign, and you should always carry your licence and the dog’s paperwork when walking it.

You must also take these steps if you wish to adopt a dangerous dog breed from a refuge, and you should not be allowed to take it away until you have the paperwork.

It is, as you can see, quite an eye-opener to discover the procedures involved, which take around two months.

But the law is the law. and the only way not to fall foul of it is to bite the bullet and get on with it!

New opening times Our new opening times for the refuge are: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday - 2-5pm. Saturday - 1-4pm. Closed Wednesday, Sunday and holidays.

Please call 922 778 630 for more information.

The refuge is situated at the Granadilla Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER the ecological park by the windmills.

China Town’s Chino fun

every member giving up his and her time for free.

“They have worked hard to produce such an entertaining, pro-

fessional show, which was well received by everyone, and which brought a fantastic sum of money into our charity fund.

“The Swallows are so proud of our group of thespians, and we thank them for all their commitment and what they have achieved.”

SAN Miguel Lions Club’s next charity affair is a Fun Chino afternoon on Sunday, 23rd March, at China Town, Trebol, in Costa del Silencio.

It starts at 1pm and promises to be a live-

ly afternoon, starting with a banquet meal, followed by a quiz, a fun bingo session and, of course, live entertainment. You can dance or simply sing-along.

Tickets are 12.50 euros

and are available from Jackie (690 143 083) or Anne (618 988 947), or see them at the club’s Charity Shop in Silencio (Monday & Thursday, 10am-2pm). Or contact esteemed club secretary Ralph on line.

CW 46

www.canarianweekly.com

Motoring

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Bugatti Legend lives on … for millionaires only!

By Jav BUGATTI are displaying their fourth model in the series of Legend Editions at the Geneva Motor Show, which started yesterday (Thursday).

This features six specials, based on the Grand Sport Vitesse, which commemorate people who have played a significant role in Bugatti’s history.

So far, three of the six planned Legends models have been unveiled, and this fourth model, debuting at Geneva, is named after Elisabeth Junek, a Twenties’ Grand Prix racer and friend of Ettore Bugatti himself. The other two are expected within the year The Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse has a top speed of 254mph.

It’s driven by the more powerful version of Bugatti’s eight-litre W16 engine, which generates 1,184bhp and 1,500Nm of torque.

The company claim a 0-62mph time of 2.6secs and, like the rest of the

Bugatti Legends, the Elisabeth Junek will be based on a standard Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse.

Just three will be built, boasting a range of bespoke detailing, but no other info is yet available. But you probably won’t get much change out of £2m - just in case you were interested in putting one over the neighbours!

Last year, Bugatti launched models commemorating JeanPierre Wimille, Jean

Bugatti and Meo Constantini. Just three of each model were built, costing around £1.8m each, and the French manufacturers confirm that all nine have been sold.

The Veyron EB 16.4 is a mid-engined sports car, designed and developed by the Volkswagen Group and manufactured in Molsheim, France by Bugatti Automobiles.

Company boss Dr Wolfgang Schreiber said more than 90% of the 450 Veyrons planned

to be built had already been sold.

“After a very successful 2013, we are confident we will be just as successful this year,” he added.

“Our existing and potential customers know that the opportunity to purchase one of these exceptional supersports cars is running out.”

A further special edition Veyron was shown at last month’s Dubai Motor Show, celebrating Chinese concert pianist Lang Lang.

But even if you are absolutely minted, forget it! The company designed the new model to honour classical music star pianist Lang Lang and just one is being built, costing a mere 2,132,700 euros (£1.757m)!

The look was inspired by a concert grand piano, which is why the exterior is finished in black and white.

To add an extra touch of luxury, the EB logo at the rear and the EB tags on the fuel and oil caps are plated with 24-carat

gold. Black Sang Noir diamond-cut rims complete the look.

The piano keyboard is also the dominant theme on the inside, with seats, roof liner and footwells covered in black leather.

The bolsters of the seats, steering wheel and gear selector feature white stitching, while the doors are covered in white leather, overlaid with black stitched lines that are intended to resemble a musical stave.

Lang Lang even signed the car after giving a concert at Bugatti’s French factory.

Talking of minted people, it comes as no surprise to learn that pop impresario Simon Cowell paid £1m for a Veyron in the US in 2010.

He is now flogging it with scarely any mileage on it - Cowell says he drove it on two occasions only - and he is likely to take a drop of £300,000 when it is auctioned off.

But that’s a mere ripple in the ocean to the man who manages One Direction. and who devised and “owns” The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent.

What on earth’s a turbo?

By Emma Swain WE all know that a turbo’d car is faster than those without them, but why are they so expensive when they fail?

A turbo makes an engine more efficient and produces more power from even the smallest engines as it forces extra air, and fuel into the combustion chamber, without putting any load on the power output from the car.

A turbo is driven by a turbine in the exhaust system, connected by a

direct shaft to an impeller in the intake system.

The more exhaust that flows, the more air is pumped into the engine.

In most cars, a wastegate is provided which opens as intake system pressure is raised to a preset level by the turbo.

This device prevents an over-boost from damaging the engine.

However, something called “turbo lag” can occur because the turbo relies on the build-up of exhaust pressure to drive the turbine.

So when the engine is at idle or low revs, the pressure is insufficient to run the turbo correctly, which is why they sometimes feel as though they are kicking in.

The turbo bearings require a constant flow

of clean oil to function properly and, on most turbos, the clearance between the bearings and the housing is so small that even the smallest contaminant can damage the turbo rapidly.

This is why it is imperative the oil is changed on a regular basis because this will reduce the amount of dirty oil flowing throughout the turbo - and also the amount of carbon deposited on the inside.

It is best to use fullysynthetic oil as it produces the least amount of carbon, but it will be considerable more expensive than “normal” oil.

All that extra power comes at a cost, however, and turbos do not last forever. But the turbo itself tends to be very

reliable and the failure is usually through an external fault.

There are three main causes of turbo failure: *Oil starvation - usually caused through blockages (carbon deposits, silicon on gaskets or kinked pipes), leaking oil-feed pipes, low oil level, worn oil pump. *Oil contamination usually through fuel, water, overdue oil or filter change, incorrect or poor quality oil, etc. *Foreign object damage - usually through leaks in the air-intake system, fragments remaining from an old failed turbo, washer, gasket material or rag particles in the air intake; even a very small object can cause severe damage.

How do I know if my turbo is wearing?

The turbo can start to

whistle and you can hear a noise similar to a police siren as you drive along. You could also notice a lack of power, or the car’s inability to reach its usual speeds.

How can I try to prevent damage?

Change the oil regularly and use high-grade, good-quality oil, preferable fully-synthetic.

Something else all turbo manufacturers recommend is to allow

the turbo to heat up and cool down, so start the car for a minute before you drive away and leave the car running for a minute when you stop.

This will allow the oil to circulate and will reduce the carbon deposits. Try not to exceed the rev limiter, or to take the car to the high end of the revs on a regular basis because this can put extra load on the turbo.

www.canarianweekly.com

Puzzle

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

PRIZE Godoku!

WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl The rules of Godoku are simple - just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid. When you have completed it a word will appear.

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

Making you think...

Which number should replace the question mark?

Beginner Starter Number

Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 12th March and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.

Last Weeks winner (Issue 842): Joseph Spencer Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 4th April to pick up and use your vouchers.

1

2

3

5

4

48

÷8

+12

÷2

+21 ÷10

6

7

8

9

Answer

-9

+15

x4

-12

2

3

Intermediate

This week’s letters: A C E J K N O S T

This week’s mystery clue: Steven Savile and Steve Lockley coauthor a series of thrillers featuring this character (9 letters).

S O C J

E J O N

30-Second Brain Training

47 CW

Starter Number

14 6

1

3/7 of this 7

+12

x2

8

9

Square root

+92

÷5

Starter Number

1

2

3

6

7

+112

+64

5

57% of this

Answer

Advanced

132 ÷11 +52

S

4

8

-29

x6

4

-16

9

x17

5

÷23

Answer

T C

+145

O C T E J

E

Quick Wordsearch

A

2/7 of this

Find the words on: Constellations

A N

ursa major ursa minor orion draco taurus pegasus pisces andromeda cassiopeia perseus lyra sagittarius leo aries triangulum gemini canus minor lynx cancer canus major cepheus cygnus serpens hercules delphinus aquila equuleus lacerta

K C A A K T N Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

2 6 5 6 7 3 9 9 4 1 2 9 7

7 3 9 1 7 2

4 8 2 9

Last Issue's Answers:

6 4 1

Brain Training: Beginner: 37 Intermediate: 162

1 5

3 6 5

5 2 3 1 9

4 2 6 8

6 4 2

5 3

1 4 9 2

7 5 2

5 8 2 6

3 7

9 5 1 8

1 8 9

7 5 2

2 3 5 8 7

7 1 4 8

6

Advanced: 177

Making you think: Answer: 8. In each row, the middle value equals the sum of the left and right hand values, adding 2 for the top row, 4 for the middle row, and 6 for the bottom row.

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

9

auriga lynx monoceros camelopardalis bootes serpens corvus sagittarius crux sculptor phoenix hydrus cetus fornax mensa lepus virgo libra lupus indus aquarius norma pavo scutum pyxis capricornus

1

7

9 6 7

Godoku:

Sudoku X:

4 6 3 8 7 1 5 2 9

5 2 1 6 4 9 7 3 8

7 9 8 5 2 3 6 1 4

6 5 2 1 9 8 4 7 3

3 1 9 7 5 4 2 8 6

8 7 4 2 3 6 9 5 1

9 8 7 4 1 5 3 6 2

2 4 6 3 8 7 1 9 5

1 3 5 9 6 2 8 4 7

Sudoku:

1 8 9 3 2 7 6 4 5

2 8 1 4 3 6 5 9 7

7 6 2 1 4 5 8 3 9

7 4 5 2 9 1 8 6 3

5 3 4 9 8 6 1 7 2

3 9 6 7 5 8 4 2 1

2 9 8 7 6 1 3 5 4

6 3 2 8 1 9 7 4 5

6 5 1 4 3 2 9 8 7

4 7 9 5 2 3 6 1 8

4 7 3 8 5 9 2 6 1

1 5 8 6 7 4 2 3 9

3 1 6 2 7 4 5 9 8

9 6 7 3 8 2 1 5 4

9 4 5 6 1 8 7 2 3

5 1 4 9 6 7 3 8 2

8 2 7 5 9 3 4 1 6

8 2 3 1 4 5 9 7 6

CW 48

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Information / Free Ads

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco. gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112

National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06 Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Canarian Weekly Photo Challenge This week’s best photo: Marine Images

Theme: Depth of Field

This week’s theme is Carnaval

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014 Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00 Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions.

Take care.

Green - Safe to swim Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop).

Deadline for Free ads is Tuesdays at 4pm. Up to 500 euros only.

4 x XL mens, left hand golf gloves, 10 euros each.

Grey marl 3 piece suit, jacket and waistcoat, 40L and trousers, 34L, 20 euros. Timberland juumper, XL, 10 euros. Sonnetti combats, 34L, 10 euros. Jane, pink and orange pregnancy sleeping/feeding cushion, also turns into cushion for baby to lay in, 20 euros. Second hand mens golf shoes, size 11, 20 euros ONO. Events management level 3 course from www.openstudycollege.com, 300 euros including name change. Tel: 637 206 026 2 folding guest beds on castors, 70 euros (40 euros each) ono. Call evenings Tel: 922 750 375 1.5 litre Severin electric kettle, chrome and black, hardly used, 15 euros. 1.7 litre gsc electric jug kettle, excellent cond, 10 euros. Tel: 922 733 299 Children’s mat, background green with 2 large cats, 12 euros. Indian mat, beige with peach flowers, vgc, size 150 x 240 cm, 60 euros. Foot spa, brand new, unused, 15 euros. Coffee maker (frothy coffee) colour cream, 60 euros. Multi-coloured brand-new hammock, 40 euros. Digital silver music centre, good cond, 25 euros. Ladies black bomber jacket, size 10-12, good quality leather, 35 euros. Callao Salvaje Tel: 922 740 250 Men’s 3-piece suit, navy-blue pinstripe, size 40-42, 15 euros. Women’s assorted necklaces, 10 euros.

Black-and-white travel bag on wheels, 10 euros.

Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11 Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 77 77 20 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802 Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037

TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

Women’s golf shoes, size 8, 5 euros. Palm Mar.Tel: 618 657 888 Gent’s mountain bike, good cond, 65 euros. White enamel toilet bowl with cistern, 60 euros. Tel: 600 700 521.

Miyota Sistema W-M99-T mini home theatre system and TV, plays, DVD,SVCD,VCD, DVCD, MPEG4, MPEG3, 65 euros. Ikea table 140 x 90, extending to 260, 90 euros. Ikea television table on wheels, 150 x50, 20 euros. Ikea dressing- table mirror, 5 euros.

2 Ikea cabinets 52 x 40 x 52, 20 euros. Whirlpool upright fridge/freezer, scruffy but works, 30 euros.

TV table on wheels 49 x 76 silver colour, 20 euros.

Silencio Tel: 629 570 945 Italian furniture pink/beige wood-grain effect: large sideboard, display unit, corner low TV cabinet and 2 occasional tables, all matching, vgc, 200 euros.

Dark wood glass-top hall table, 40 euros. Coffee table, glass top on metal frame, shelf under 120cm x 80cm 30 euros. 2 Ikea chairs cream material, light wood frame 20euros each. Adult bike, lots of extras, excellent cond, 70 euros. Buyer to collect, Adeje. Tel: 637 166 582 Upright fridge/freezer, good cond, 65 euros. Ikea chair-bed, Henån blue, as new, 95 euros. Deluxe folding sunbed, adjustable, on wheels, with mattress, vgc, 95 euros. Still some good boys’ clothes age 5-11, T-shirts, shorts, jeans, jackets and shoes; also, good assortment ladies’ clothe, size 10-12, 50 cents an item. Brother electric typewriter AX100 in the box as new, 40 euros. Binatone big button simfree mobile phone, 10 euros. Matching pottery set by Johnson Brothers, ribbons & roses pattern, coffee set, tea set, storage jars etc, dishwasher and microwave proof, complete with matching 3-tier hostess trolley and wall clock, 40 euros. Panasonic hifi, 5 CD changer, radio and tape with speakers, vgc, 25 euros. 4-wheel walking assist with large shopping bag, good cond, 7 euros. Callao Salvaje.

Tel: 922 742 257 or 661 084 981 Wardrobe, sturdy pine with 3 small & 2 large drawers at the bottom, partially flat-pack for transportation,

www.canarianweekly.com

Classified

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Jobs (cont.)

can be stained or painted, 200 euros Collect from Valle San Lorenzo. Tel: 642 386 234 Fridge Edeas 55x55x80 good working cond, 40 euros ono, buyer collects, Los Cristianos. Tel: 661 249 095.

Smartphone Blackberry Curve 8520, with box, charger etc. 40 euros ono.. Samsung GPRS phone with charger and book, 5 euros. Tel: 620 532 238

Cars/BIKES

Oki PC tower in black 2,8 Ghz, 160Gb, 160Gb,HDD,1.5 Gb am, DVdrw, Windows 7, includes keyboard, mouse, good working order), 135 euros. Wireless Aprox keyboard & mouse, 15 euros. New condition automatic cash drawer, 30 euros. Office desk, good cond, 70 euros. Office chair, 5 euros. Tall fan, 5 euros.

Phillips DVD player, 10 euros. Tel: 699 186 103 Microwave and grill, 35 euros. TDT with remote, 15 euros. Ceiling fan with lamp, 25 euros. Camping gas, 20 euros. DVD player/video recorder combo remote, 45 euros. DVD player, 25 euros. VCR player, 20 euros, Butane gas bottles, 40 euros each, 3 for 110 euros. Two orange juicers, 10 euros each. Deep fat fryer, 20 euros, VCR player, 20 euros. Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. Child’s car seat, 20 euros. Tel: 632 526 710

Air-conditioning

Under-counter fridge, 50 euros. Stainless-steel 4 ring electric hob, 50 euros. White microwave 25 euros, Stainless -steel electric kettle, 12 euros. Chest freezer, 120 euros. Computer monitor, 10 euros, Mountain bike, 85 euros. Video recorders, 20 euros.

Table fan, 15 euros. Computer tower, 70 euros, PC monitor, 30 euros. DVD player, 20 euros. VCR player, 25 euros. Foot bath massager, 20 euros. Playstation 2 with controller + two games, 45 euros. Microwave 25 euros. Microwave dishes, 8 euros each. Vacuum cleaner, (Bagless), 20 euros. 21in TV, 30 euros. Mini oven, 20 euros. Tel: 686 336 904 Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

wanted 2 Bed apartment 45k euros. Any condition, Amarilla, Golf del Sur area. Email amarilla00@hotmail.co.uk

WANTED… garage-storeroom to rent in the Golf del Sur area.

Call 662 524 006 or 636 590 557

Jobs

CLC World Resorts & Hotels are currently looking for professional, motivated, British sales consultants and Managers to join their In-house and Fly-Buy teams. Successful applicants will enjoy high volume commissions and fantastic quality resorts. Full training is provided. For a confidential interview, please call Kinder Singh on 659 067 438 or Christine Gibson 607 849 900 Administration Position: Resort in South West Tenerife looking for a hard working, energetic, responsible person. Admin experienced, computer literate. Mother tongue English – Italian / Spanish a plus. Please send CV to : cvtobereceived@gmail.com B Funky fashion shows are looking for International girls to model swimwear in the South of Tenerife for an immediate start, along with models’ assistants.

Must be presentable and speak good English, other languages an advantage. Sales or PR experience essential. Daily work, salary, commissions paid and contracts given. Call José between 11am & 5pm on 606 181 946

49 CW

CW 50

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

Air-conditioning (cont.)

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Construction (cont.)

Insurance

Kitchens & bathrooms

Antiques

Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing etc. (e.g. complete bathroom & kitchen refurbishments, including all materials & labour from under 2000 euros) Tel 661 081 843 for quotation.

ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Blinds

Lawyers

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel.

Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA - making happy feet between El Medano and Los Gigantes for 18 years. Tel: 608 029 790

Cleaning Mechanics Electrician Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

CLUBS & SOCIETIES An opportunity for residents & holidaymakers to meet & socialise at the Restaurante Castañuelas, seafront, Los Cristianos near the Sunday market, 3 course meal with ½ bottle of wine for only 12 euros. To reserve call Nancy on 655 679 033. (closed after 18th December until 15th January).

Financial Management

Computers

Telephone: 922 736 728

Patio Doors & Windows

E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

Garden Furniture

Construction

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 Relaxing energizing therapeutic massages, special offers, also hotel visits. Ilona 602 608 626.

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Patio Doors & Windows

PoolS

51 CW

Sports Therapist

Removals Personal ServiceS Jackeline, a Venezuelan girl in Los Cristianos, no limit, you will find her in the Avenida Los Sabandeños behind the BP petrol station, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, call 628 895 416 Alejandra, the perfect lover, passionate, obliging, inmoral, abundance of pleasure without limit, 24 hour service, Avenida Los Sabandeños, behind the BP petrol station in Los Cristianos, hotel-home visits, call 650 442 665.

UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

repairs

Second-hand Shops

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more.

Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

English model, showgirl, professional striptease, quality service, general entertainment. Stag night, dominatrix, fetish, luxury conditions, visits 24 hours, escort service available, 697 227 139.

Eva, the girl you’ve been looking for in Las Galletas, all services, to fulfill your fantasies, call now on 669 738 298.

SISSY LOS CRISTIANOS SLIM, SEXY, DOMINATING GOODLOOKING, PRIVATE APARTMENT, CALL : 634 273 126.

2 friends in Las Galletas, slim, big breasts, erotic massage, obliging, fantasies, threesomes, lesbianism, call 669 738 298.

Nice, sporty, 30 plus, Spanish lady, certified masseur, toys and naughty lingerie also available. Discrete hotel/home visits.

Reasonable prices. English speaking. Viagra available. Las Americas - Buzanada. Tel: 602 506 793.

Beautiful girls, escort service, lesbians, parties, hotel visits, 24 hour service, Polish blonds, big breasts, Rumanian dark haired, they speak good English, for exclusive gentlemen & couples, call 603 365 938

Translation

Furniture & Household Items bought for cash Immediate decisions

Phone Freddie 609 303 634 security

TV and Satellite Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Upholstery cleaning

Las Americas, natural French, Greek, kisses, massage, 50€, call 603 300 618.

Plumbing

Windows

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

Pool tables

CW 52

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Sport

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Tenerife’s Real progress

By Roscoe

Real Madrid Castilla 2 CD Tenerife 2 FOR a few minutes on Saturday night, Tenerife were fifth in the table, after Aridane’s early goal had given CDT the lead.

And in the “As It Stands” table, which is wonderfully modern, Tenerife were above Numancia, Zaragoza and, most importantly, Las Palmas.

Fifth! Talk about a nosebleed.

It didn’t last as an inspired Castilla firstly equalised and then took the lead early in the second half. But it didn’t matter. The fact that Tenerife are even tickling the chin of such heights in March is progress.

The rotten seasons which saw double-bubble relegation and the lows of a failed promotion season are now distant memories.

This is a different Tenerife - a new, fresh LOCAL Tenerife. Nine Canarian lads played on Saturday. And there are more in the wings.

This team feel like our team and they are playing for the shirt. In a match they dominated, they were disappointed to go in at the break just one up.

Yes, the hosts fought back and stole a couple of goals. Aguza and Raul de Tomas, in par-

Position

Points

PLD

Won

1º SD Eibar

49

28

2º RC Deportivo

49

28

ticular, are good players and they took their goals well.

But there was never any panic among the Tenerife lads.

They knew they had the upper hand and, even when they missed a few chances - and were denied a stonewall penDraw

Lost

F

A

14

7

7

36 21

14

7

7

32 22

3º RC Recreativo

47

28

13

8

7

44

37

4º Real Sporting

45

28

11

12

5

44

35

5º CD Numancia

41

28

9

14

5

30 23

6º UD Las Palmas

39

28

10

9

9

27

7º Real Zaragoza

38

28

10

8

10 33 33

8º CD Tenerife

38

28

10

8

10 32 34

9º Córdoba CF

38

28

10

8

10 29

10º CD Lugo

38

28

10

8

10

27 33

11º Real Murcia CF

37

28

8

13

7

33 31

12º FC Barcelona B

37

28

11

4

13

36 37

13º RCD Mallorca

36

28

9

9

10 36 43

14º CE Sabadell FC

35

28

10

5

13

15º Real Jaén CF

35

28

9

8

11 31

16º SD Ponferradina

34

28

8

10

17º Real Madrid CF Castilla

34

28

10

18º Hércules CF

34

28

19º Deportivo Alavés

33

28

20º AD Alcorcón

32

28

8

8

12 27 27

21º CD Mirandés

32

28

8

8

12

22º Girona FC

30

28

6

12

10 33 34

10

30

31

31 39 31

31 30

4

14 35 38

9

7

12

32 45

8

9

11

40 38 26

33

alty - they kept plugging away.

And don’t underestimate the gaffer. Alvaro Cervera gets the hat-tip for the change that brought the goal.

Youngster Quique Rivero was instrumental in the equalising goal.

He replaced the exhausted Ingio Ros in midfield, and many would have expected Aitor Sanz to have got the nod. But Cervera got it right and when wonderkid Ayoze Perez got the equaliser, the boss had a little smile.

Then, in the last 10 minutes Tenerife should have won the match as they tore Castilla’s kids apart.

It was a pleasing point.

A fine point, but it should have been more.

Remember, last week I asked the question as to what the game plan would be? Promotion charge or consolidation?

Well we have our answer. They are going for it. And again, there were more pleasant headaches for the manager.

Ayoze Diaz made his debut at left-back, and had a stormer. He is not 100% fit, but his expe-

rience and positioning were a major plus.

And boy, can he strike a free-kick. He must start this weekend, but that would mean a tap on the shoulder for Raul Camara, who has been great.

He was back at his familiar right-back role in place of the suspended Javi Moyano, and he also was excellent.

The competition for places is fierce.

As already mentioned, there are options in central midfield. Ricardo seems first choice, and I’d expect Sanz to be back on Sunday. Ditto Suso, but second-guessing Cervera is foolish.

Tenerife host thirdplace Recreativo without their kingpin, Carlos Ruiz, who is suspended.

The smart money is on young Alberto replacing him, but I would go with Rigo.

He hasn’t played much football and is just getting back from injury but his experience could be vital.

Bruno is still learning his trade and we saw last season that there is no leader when Alberto is with Bruno. Maybe Inigo Ros will drop

back?

Whoever it is, they face they hardest remaining home test. The visitors have had a great campaign and are third on merit. They started like a scalded cat, and have picked up the thread after an understandable mid-season slump.

It looked as though they would fall out of the promotion places, but four wins in five have seen them stay the pace. Ok, there were wins against lower table opposition, but the victory at Barca B was excellent.

I’ve seen them on TV a few times recently and there is a lot to like about Recreativo.

Cabrero, a solid keeper, was linked with a move here two summers back. The backline is experienced, and watch out for Morcillo from set-pieces.

In midfield, Arana is having the season of his life at 29. He has scored as many goals this season, eight, as he has combined in the last five campaigns. He is playing with more freedom thanks to his partnership with Angel Montoro.

Arana has lots of La Liga experience, while Angel is improving all the time. And they are a real threat.

If Recreativo have a problem, it’s in attack.

Linares was part of Elche’s promotion team last season, and he has notched 10 goals this time around. But he is no world-beater and he has little support.

Keep him quiet, and Tenerife will be strong favourites.

Recreativo are well known to Cervera because he had a spell in charge of them recently, and they are what they are. There are no surprises.

And this would be not only a scalp, but a reminder. Tenerife can throw in the odd shocker at home, and just when you think they are going on a run, they come unstuck.

But they are on the verge of the play-offs now, and sides will treat them with respect.

Recreativo have not won in Santa Cruz since the Millennium year, and I don’t see that changing on Sunday.

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

53 CW

The Sun has almost set!

WITH just three league matches to go, a 5-3 win at your nearest rivals is a very good result.

cured a 7-1 hammering of Amistad. Submariner Steve waded in with a 180 for the Abrigos team, and Amistad 2’s Alan was hailed as Man of the Match. You had to be there, I guess!

The Nadas and the Lancers, though, might care to have a look over their shoulder at Picasso’s. With two games in hand, a 7-1 win at The Rebels keeps them firmly in the hunt.

Phoenix Flights held their nerve in the trebles leg to draw with the Playgirls, and Bar

That’s what Division 2 side Tenerife Sun will be thinking after beating Emerald Shamrocks. A handful of points from their next fixture will see them crowned champions.

The race for third place took yet another twist as La Caña Lancers lost at Sundowners, while Pas O Nadas se-

PRemier division ResultS

Bar 180 A La Caña Pirates Ourplace Playboys Phoenix Bar Target Titans The Pub

6-2 2-6 2-6 5-3 4-4 6-2

Scruffy Macs Target Army Gaffers A Palms Sports Bar Ourplace Naturals Vikings Ensecan

180 D put six past Barracuda Hunters.

Harry’s magic fixture list also cast its spell in Division One, as it mirrored Division 2 with the top two playing each other (how does he do it?). Rood’s 6-2 victory at Gaffers B means they need just three points from two games to claim the title.

A shocking run of results for Emerald Lounge has seen them lose a hold on the thirdplace trophy they really wanted (he said, tongue firmly in cheek).

Their 6-2 defeat at Trap Door allowed Bar 180 B to go above them, courtesy, of a 5-3 success at Barracuda Bytes.

Spurred on by his recent exhibition match with James Wade, Bar 180 C’s Rob fired in his third 180 of the campaign during his side’s defeat by Summerland.

And Naughty Nautas showed no mercy to the relegated Amistad 1 as they handed them a 7-1 thrashing.

Bar 180 A, holding a 17-point lead with four to play, are within

touching distance of the Premier League crown. Their 6-2 win over Scruffy Macs included no fewer than seven maximums - Five of them from the visitors.

Trebles for show, doubles for dough is the term, I think! More maximums came during a relegation party (and Fluff’s birthday) as Gaffers A’s Matt, stuck two of them into the Playboys, while Target Army’s Steve hit his 10th to help his team claim a 6-2 victory at La Caña Pirates.

Division 1 ResultS

Division 2 ResultS

Barracuda Bytes 3-5 Bar 180 B Gaffers B 2-6 Rood Naughty Nautas 7-1 Marilyns Summerland 5-3 Bar 180 C Trap Door 6-2 Emerald Lounge

Amistad 2 Bar 180 D Emerald Shamrocks Ourplace Playgirls Sundowners Bar The Rebels

Premier Division Table

Division 1 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Bar 180 A 29 24 4 1 182 50 132 182 2 Palms Sports Bar 29 21 3 5 165 67 98 165 3 Phoenix Bar 30 21 6 3 160 80 80 160 4 The Pub 30 20 3 7 156 84 72 156 5 Target Army 30 17 4 9 147 93 54 147 6 La Caña Pirates 30 13 3 14 115 125 -10 115 7 Target Titans 30 9 6 15 107 133 -26 107 8 Ourplace Naturals 30 10 5 15 106 134 -28 106 9 Vikings Ensecan 30 7 5 18 101 139 -38 101 10 Gaffers A 30 4 5 21 68 172 -104 68 11 Ourplace Playboys 30 3 5 22 63 177 -114 63 12 Scruffy Macs 30 3 5 22 62 178 -116 62

Table 1 Rood 2 Gaffers B 3 Bar 180 B 4 Emerald Lounge 5 Chipeque Pool Bar 6 Bar 180 C 7 Trap Door 8 Naughty Nautas 9 Barracuda Bytes 10 Summerland 11 Marilyns 12 Amistad 1

Second and third squared up at the Phoenix Bar, where a host of missed doubles

by Palms Sports Bar cost them dearly. Phoenix held a 4-1 lead after the singles and eventually ran out 5-3 winners.

The Pub’s 6-2 win over Vikings Ensecan means they could still nick third place, and Target Titans pinched the trebles to tie with Ourplace Naturals.

A reminder that the highest checkout in each division is kindly being sponsored by Direct Telecom.

1-7 6-2 3-5 4-4 5-3 1-7

Pas O Nadas Barracuda Hunters Tenerife Sun Phoenix Flights La Caña Lancers Picassos

Division 2 Table

P W D L F A +- PTS 31 25 5 1 169 79 90 169 30 19 6 5 147 93 54 147 31 16 6 9 137 111 26 137 30 15 4 11 135 105 30 135 30 15 3 12 133 107 26 133 30 12 7 11 131 109 22 131 29 9 11 9 116 116 0 116 30 8 7 15 113 127 -14 113 29 10 6 13 106 126 -20 106 30 9 7 14 103 137 -34 103 30 4 3 23 79 161 -82 79 30 3 5 22 71 169 -98 71

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Sun 30 23 5 2 171 69 102 171 2 Emerald Shamrocks 30 21 3 6 153 87 66 153 3 Pas ‘O’ Nadas 31 15 3 13 130 118 12 130 4 La Caña Lancers 30 14 7 9 130 110 20 130 5 Picassos 29 12 8 9 125 107 18 125 6 Sundowners Bar 30 13 5 12 121 119 2 121 7 The Rebels 31 12 6 13 119 129 -10 119 8 Bar 180 D 30 12 7 11 119 121 -2 119 9 Phoenix Flights 30 10 9 11 113 127 -14 113 10 Barracuda Hunters 29 8 3 18 101 131 -30 101 11 Amistad 2 30 6 5 19 90 150 -60 90 12 Ourplace Playgirls 30 2 3 25 68 172 -104 68

Ex-football president jailed for seven years LAWYER José María del Nido, former president of Seville Football Club, was sentenced Wednesday to seven years in prison for his part in the “Minutas” case.

That relates to corruption in Marbella Town Hall, and Del Nido went to prison voluntarily in the early hours of the morning, supposedly to avoid the expected mas-

sive media presence.

Málaga’s Third Court, which handled the trial, warned last December that the sentence would be tough, because of Del Nido’s part in the mis-

appropriation of public funds and continuing corruption.

At that time, Del Nido was given 30 days to pay 2.7 million euros AND start a custodial sen-

tence. His legal team then began to work on several fronts.

The first procedure was a motion for dismissal of the charges and a suspension of the sentence until the legal team had completed its work. The motion was rejected by the Supreme Court.

Next, Del Nido requested an extension of the 30day limit handed down by the Málaga Court, giving several reasons, including his efforts to pay the financial sanction were underway. This was

again rejected by the local court, which pointed out that since he was notified of the decision to enter prison voluntarily (on 3rd January) over six weeks had passed.

At the same time, Del Nido requested a pardon, which was backed by his legal team. His eventual imprisonment was imposed on the same day the Málaga Court rejected the final request for a suspension of his sentence.

To this date, a total of just 350,000 of the 2.7 million euros

has been repaid. The case relates to irregularities in the granting of Town Hall contracts in 2001 and 2002 to the company Fergacon, which had direct links to two of Del Nido’s brothers, and which succeeded in obtaining public funds without adhering to application protocols.

Charges have also been brought against del Nido’s brothers, and former Marbella Mayor Julián Muñoz. In total, 13 people and institutions are implicated.

CW 54

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Sport

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

Hammers blizt Treehouse

WE saw a new leader at the top of the Direct Telecom 8 Ball Pool League this week, albeit for 24 hours!

Gaffers A, who have sat in second spot for what seems like an eternity, played on Monday night, taking on La Cana A in Los Abrigos.

They came out of the blocks fast and were soon 7-0 up. But with the game won, La Caña A rallied and grabbed a couple of frames, but the damage had already been done and Gaffers were top.

But 24 hours later, Hammers A returned to the summit. They went to Treehouse A saying: “Anything you can do, we can do better.”

They were 7-0 up within 45 minutes and won every frame for a 12-0 success – the season’s first Division One whitewash.

Phoenix Knights are now comfortable in third spot after a routine win against The Peacocks, who dropped into the bottom three.

The Leeds Lads are in relegation form

and need to start picking up some points. In fact, there is a real scrap at the bottom and Terrace Bar A moved above Peacocks after a great win against Exiles A. Shammy and the Exiles boys took a 5-1 lead, but Terrace Bar finally showed some fight. They won six frames on the bounce to take the match and some much-needed points.

This was heartbreaking for Tenerife Hammers C. They were 3-0 up on Palms A and, with Exiles winning, they were set for a great night.

But Palms A roared back and, in the end, were full value for their 7-5 win. They are up to fifth, just behind Dreamers A, who have been in sparkling form. And this week they carried on by chinning Toscales A, who look sunk.

In the top division’s remaining game, Phoenix Potters who had top-four ambitions, suffered another loss. This time it was at the hands of Inn The Pink A. It seems that the Los Abrigos OAP’s are running out of steam, and I fear more Werther’s Originals

Division 2 results

Division 1 Results Bar La Cana A Dreamers A Phoenix Potters Tenerife Hammers C Terrace Bar A The Peacocks The Treehouse A

2-10 10-2 5-7 5-7 7-5 4-8 0-12

Gaffers A Toscales A Inn The Pink A Palms Bar A Exiles A Phoenix Knights Tenerife Hammers A

Division 1 Table

Table 1 Tenerife Hammers A 2 Gaffers A 3 Phoenix Knights 4 Dreamers A 5 Palms Bar A 6 Inn The Pink A 7 Exiles A 8 Bar La Cana A 9 Phoenix Potters 10 The Treehouse A 11 Terrace Bar A 12 The Peacocks 13 Tenerife Hammers C 14 Toscales A

P W D L F A +- PTS 26 23 1 2 210 102 108 70 26 22 3 1 209 103 106 69 26 14 7 5 184 128 56 49 25 10 5 10 154 1 46 8 35 26 10 5 11 151 161 -10 35 26 10 4 12 162 150 12 34 25 10 4 11 149 151 -2 34 26 10 4 12 141 171 -30 34 24 9 6 9 139 149 -10 33 23 8 4 11 132 144 -12 28 26 7 4 15 129 183 -54 25 25 7 3 15 128 172 -44 24 26 7 2 17 137 175 -38 23 26 3 4 19 111 201 -90 13

are needed!

In Division 2, Inn the Pink B continued their title push with another routine win, against Next Door, and they are looking good now to join their A team at the top table next season.

Palms B are not done, though. They eased past an improving Piccasso’s A to leave themselves seven points behind the Pink boys with three games in hand. Win those and they go top.

Third place is occupied by James

Place, who had a tricky tie against Gaffers B, but they kept themselves in the hunt for promotion with a solid victory.

But Exiles B are right behind them and level on points, although James Place have a game in hand over them, so they could put a little daylight between the two teams.

Bluebell A got back to winning ways with a good win over Gaffers C, and Hoppys Bar look set to break into the top 10 after a good

Terrace Bar B Exiles B Gaffers C Hoppys Bar James Place Next Door Picasso’s A Toscales B

7-5 12-0 4-8 10-2 9-3 4-8 4-8 7-5

Kandi 13 Dreamers B Bluebell A Shorty’s Gaffers B Inn The Pink B Palms Bar B Bar La Cana B

Division 2 table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Inn The Pink B 24 19 3 2 187 101 86 60 2 Palms Bar B 21 17 2 2 168 84 84 53 3 James Place 22 15 3 4 172 92 80 48 4 Exiles B 23 15 3 5 173 103 70 48 5 Bluebell B 21 15 2 4 141 111 30 47 6 Gaffers B 21 12 5 4 151 101 50 41 7 Bluebell A 24 12 5 7 161 127 34 41 8 Terrace Bar B 23 11 4 8 150 126 24 37 9 Kandi 13 23 10 5 8 140 136 4 35 10 2JZ 23 10 4 9 143 133 10 34 11 Hoppys Bar 22 9 6 7 137 127 10 33 12 Gaffers C 23 9 5 9 141 135 6 32 13 Toscales B 24 9 3 12 131 157 -26 30 14 Next Door 24 8 2 14 130 158 -28 26 15 Tenerife Pool Tables 22 6 3 13 115 149 -34 21 16 Treehouse B 21 6 0 15 100 152 -52 18 17 Bar La Cana B 21 5 1 15 98 154 -56 16 18 Picasso’s A 23 3 3 17 101 175 -74 12 19 Shorty’s 23 2 1 20 90 186 -96 7 20 Dreamers B 22 1 2 19 71 193 -122 5 solid performance saw them take all the points off Shorty’s.

Toscales B fared better than their A team this week with a win against La Caña B, and Terrace B had a great win over Kandi 13.

The Puerto Colon boys turned up on

Tuesday night, 24 hours too early, and had to trek back to Amarilla Golf again on Wednesday night.

They were looking good at 5-3 up, but Terrace fought back and put on a great finish to grab the points and move above the Kandi boys.

Fantasy Football League THE Oasis Fm Fantasy Football League is into the home stretch and there is all to play for as the Premier League enters the business end of the season.

The team of the week

is another mixed bunch of players but again is reflective of the battle at the bottom of the table. Chelsea had 2 players in the team which was matched

by Stoke and Everton, then Spurs, Liverpool, Newcastle, Swansea and Aston Villa made

up the other places.

It’s nice to see the teams battling relegation are getting high point scoring performances from their players; they are certainly going to need them at the top of their game.

Long term Fantasy League leader, Steve Schofield, is having a wobble at the minute; he has led for most of the season but is now in real danger of being pipped at the post.

Andy Palmers team,

‘Premier Sat Utd’, have had a charge of late and have cut the gap at the top to just 13 points.

Will this be the week when we see a new leaders? There were no really high points scorers in the last round of games but 72 points secured the title of team of the week for Roscoe with his team ‘Roscoe’s Wanderers’, we will say no more than that.

The battle of the DJ’s is also going to go to the wire, Adi still leads

from Chris Elkington but thanks to his great week, Roscoe is now not far behind, and Top Ten standings

Maggie Lennard really does look like getting the wooden spoon, barring a miracle!

Pos

team name

player

this week

total pts

1

Tenerife Hotspur

Steven Schofield

51

1,729

2

Premier Sat Utd

Andy Palmer

65

1,716

3

Turbin Terrorists

James Ferraby

59

1,652

4

Over land and sea

Paul Tregent

50

1,644

5

Summerland Saints

Jeff Hall

57

1,629

6

@Jony_TF

Jonay Diaz

65

1,618

7

Blacktower Finance

Laura Mann

57

1,604

8

Shankly’s best

Michael Dwyer

55

1,604

9

Burghill Rovers

Stephen Snook

55

1,586

10

The Spartans

Jamie Palmer

50

1,572

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Sport

7th March 2014 - 13th March 2014

55 CW

Premier League Preview

By Adi Benson GAMES are being ticked off now, and we are getting closer and closer to the end of the season.

Arsenal have wobbled and face a difficult March, while Fulham really need backs-to-thewall performances in all their remaining games.

This weekend sees a reduced fixture list because of the FA Cup quarter-finals, but we still have much to savour.

West Brom v Man Utd (Saturday, 12.45pm) West Brom coach Pepe Mel has not been in the job long, but he is already under pressure as he is yet to win a match.

And Baggies fans are worried that they are on a Wolves-style relegation slump.

Under normal circumstances, he would not be looking forward to a game against Man Utd. But this is a winnable match and it would be a great time to get that first win.

United are eight points off fourth spot and look as though they will miss out on the Champions League next season.

Shame!

Prediction: Away win Cardiff v Fulham (Saturday, 3pm) Games do not come bigger than this in terms of the relegation situation. Cardiff, second from bottom, Fulham rock-bottom! It is no exaggeration to say that whoever loses will go down.

Cardiff didn’t look too bad last time out against Spurs, and a win could define their season. They need to step up to the plate and show the sort of spirit which got them promoted.

Fulham spent a decent amount of money in the transfer window, but for me they bought in the wrong type of player.

They went for flair when what they really needed were players who have been in relegation fights before. That said, they do have the experience to pull the team through.

Prediction: Draw C Palace v Soton (Saturday, 3pm) Palace have been a different team under Tony Pulis, but they still find themselves just three points above the

relegation zone. They are nicking results but haven’t put a decent run together.

With Cardiff and Fulham playing each other, this is a great opportunity for them to pull clear, and having home advantage will help.

Southampton’s season already appears to be over. will finish at least ninth, but they won’t bag a Europa League place as they are too many points behind Everton and Man Utd. Their form in the first half of the season was excellent, but they have fallen away in the second half.

Prediction: Home win Norwich v Stoke (Saturday, 3pm) A poor Norwich showing last time out just about summed up their season. Chris Hughton is still in a job, but I doubt he will be in charge at the start of next season, regardless of which league the club are playing in.

That said, I think they will survive as there are four clubs worse than them.

Stoke are one of those teams that blow hot and cold. They have taken points off all the top clubs this season, but they seem to struggle against the teams around them.

They know Norwich are fighting for survival and that they will be tough to beat, but Stoke really need to follow up the win against Arsenal with a win at Carrow Road.

Prediction: Home win Chelsea v Spurs (Saturday, 5.30pm) Chelsea can move seven points clear at the top with a victory as Liverpool, Arsenal and Man City are not in league action. Despite not playing well, they manage to grind out the results, and THAT is title-winning form.

This is a London derby and, though Chelsea have the historic bragging rights, Spurs will provide a tough challenge - and they still believe they can get a topfour finish.

Spurs may just need this. They have been desperate against the top sides this season, and they will hope to blow a hole in the title race.

Prediction: Home win FA Cup Quarter-Finals Arsenal v Everton (Saturday, 12.45pm) After slipping up in the league against Stoke, this competition could be Arsenal’s only chance of silverware. They have home advantage and their fans are desperate for a trip to Wembley.

Roberto Martinez loves the FA Cup after guiding Wigan to the trophy last year, and he would love to repeat that feat with Everton.

They have had a great season but have just lost a little form in the last few weeks, but I expect a good performance from them. Lukaku is back, and he could be the difference.

Prediction: Away win Sheff Utd v Charlton (Sunday, 12pm) They do say a good cup run can offer a nice distraction from the league, and it is true in this case for Sheffield Utd. Yes, they are in League One, but they are flying. They have won their last 10 matches and have gone from relegation possibles to play-off outsiders. Proof that an FA Cup run

can help league form.

Charlton are a league higher, but they are the outsiders. Chris Powell has performed miracles with no money and hardly any players, and the neutrals will want him to make Wembley.

Both teams will be at full strength and this could be the tie of the round.

Prediction: Away win Hull v Sunderland (Sunday, 2pm) Not a classic on paper, but what a prize for the winner. Hull have huffed and puffed this season, but at home they have been strong. They have a good squad and all the players want to impress because they will want to make sure they play in the Wembley semifinal should they get through.

Sunderland are coming off the back of a cup final defeat, but they played well for long periods last Sunday.

They have struggled in the league, but have proved what a good cup team they are. They know how to win over 90 minutes, and I believe they will be hard to beat.

Prediction: Away win Man City v Wigan (Sunday, 4.05pm) Buoyant from their League Cup final win, Man City will go into this game on a high, and in search of revenge.

They were awful in last year’s final and have to lay that ghost. They have one trophy in the bag and still have three more to contest. City will dominate this game and I can’t see them losing.

Wigan will not want to relinquish their grip on the Cup and have done well to get this far after a couple of early scares.

They are a good bet to make the play-offs, but they will have done well if they keep the score respectable.

Prediction: Home win

CW 56

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