Cw issue 852

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Issue 852 9th May - 15th May 2014

Inside this week...

ADEJE’S IN-TUNE MAYOR!

Read full story on page 3.

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9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

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Fraga, a Mayor for all reasons… and seasons!

By ROSCOE (Canarian Weekly Editor)

THERE is a slight sigh as he reaches out his hand. It’s barely 20 minutes after he broke from another over-run meeting with the other local Town Hall mayors.

A regulation get-together had become a three-hour affair … and there was still a full diary to take care of.

The handshake was warm and genuine, but there was no getting away from the slight redness in the eyes. It was already a long day and, with the mercury tickling 80 degrees, it was going to be a sapping afternoon.

There was a busy waiting room to attend to after a chat with the local English language paper.

But if Adeje’s Mayor was feeling the pace, he was trying not to show it.

At 67, he has been there and seen it all, and nobody would begrudge him an easy schedule after all the work he has done for his beloved area.

And it’s clear that the people are behind Jose Miguel Rodriguez Fraga, Mayor of Adeje since 1987, who was won seven straight elections and, in 2003, received the highest percentage

of votes in Spain’s local elections.

In short, no mayor was more popular at the ballot box. So the Canarian Weekly’s opening question was simple.

When he started in 1987, did he honestly feel he would make so much progress? “From the beginning I always wanted to build an Adeje that was the Adeje we see today,” he told me. “It wasn’t easy at all!

“One of the things we have been able to build is an Adeje that is politically stable. We have enjoyed this over the last 30 years. We (as a council) have worked

well because of this. We have had the same people working towards the same goals and the same ideas.

“We tried to change the way people thought from just ‘Our Adeje’. There were some who wanted an ‘old Adeje’ or a ‘new Adeje’. But now we have just ‘Adeje’.

“Wherever you are old or young, it’s now ‘Adeje’ and that took a lot of work to make people have that same vision.”

“It has always been important that the backbone for us is everyone’s involvement in things such as culture, sporting activities and schools.

“We have done lots of work with schools and helped to make everything an open society, which is where we are at today.”

And that is out in front. Adeje is seen as being well-run, forwardthinking and rather populist. You don’t get too many barmy innovations, something which seems to occur all over the world in local government.

Maybe it’s in the seasoning, and the result of having a steady hand from a career politician.

It’s easy to see why he is doing well. “There are many reasons why I

think people are happy,” he said. “First of all, we have a very good range of services, basic and important services.

“Such as water (a nod to the water problems elsewhere, such as Puerto de la Cruz) where we have good, clean quality.

“Cleanliness is very important in terms of rubbish collection, and the standard of the streets and where we live.

“Also, our network of services, such as culture and sport - things that people want to do, and the integration from this.

“And that’s the phrase.

Integration, where people know they can live in peace and security. And not just security against crime. “Adeje is a healthy place to live. The air is clean, the water is clean, and we have a very good health service.”

As you would expect from someone who has spent his whole life in public office, and seen the changes to Tenerife, he is an advocate of integration.

“If you look back at the history of Adeje over the last 30 years we have evolved from a place that was an agricultural society to one with a mainly tourism society,” said the Mayor.

“This has been in parallel to a population growth of 8,000, to the 50,000 we have now.

“Obviously, employment changed, opportunities arose and we saw people coming in from outside Adeje looking for jobs. And slowly ‘we’ changed.

“It was a great challenge (said with a wry smile and turn of the head) to try to make everyone see that this wasn’t an invasion.

“The council always pushed the concept of living together. We wanted integration, tolerance, understanding and respect. Those were the key words.

“Our message was, ‘this will enrich our lives’ and we wanted to make sure people knew this would make us all richer. Not just financially, but as a community. This helped people avoid an ‘invasion’ mentality.”

Fraga, during his time

as Mayor, has paid particular attention to the renovation of the town’s heritage, along with the promotion of the region’s cultural and historical elements.

He has also been heavily involved in the development of the Costa Adeje brand, something which has been an astonishing success.

The council is run within budget, and some recent ideas have left other councils and mayors trailing. Fraga insists this is done purely for the benefit of Adeje and not for any point-scoring.

A case in point is the school grants, which was publicised in Canarian Weekly last week. “We are able to do this as we have the budget for it,” he stressed.

“Education and jobtraining are two of the key areas we want to help. They are vital to us in terms of the human development, the economic development of the Council and the people living here.

“It’s important we help as we want to have a modern city, good communications and good infrastructure, all for the next generation. So we must make sure we have good training and education. But we also have equality.

“I don’t want anyone saying, ‘I can’t go to school as I don’t have money for books’. No, the council will make sure you CAN go to school and we will find money for books - and that is very very important.”

In the modern era, politicians always go on about a legacy, so I had to ask: “Legacy?”

The Mayor, looking a little embarrassed, responded: “Well, I would like people to value their work, value their lives here in Adeje. That would be a legacy.”

An all-too-brief chat with an engaging Mayor, who bleeds for his region.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have any questions you would like to ask Mayor Fraga? If so, send them to us via email at editor@canarianweekly. com and next month, the Mayor will answer the best of them.

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9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

PM in pole position WITH less than 18 months until the next Spanish General Election, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy is primed to be reelected.

His Partido Popular party is enjoying a healthy lead in the latest opinion polls.

Results from the Opinion Barometer Sociological Research Centre (CIS) shows the PP with a five-point lead over main rivals PSOE - an impressive two points higher than three months ago.

Its 31.9 rating is down on the 42-point high at Christmas 2012, but it is the norm for ruling parties to have a midseason slump.

However, the PP’s rivals have failed to capture the public’s imagination. The PSOE rating is 26.2 down from nearly 31 a year ago.

Of the other parties, the CIS calculates a percentage vote for IU of just 10.9, which is 0.4% below its January mark. And the UPyD is also lower than the start of the year, falling from 9.2 to 8.9%.

Rajoy seems to have weathered a tricky winter, thanks to the recent good news on unemployment, balance of payments, pensions boost and a rise in both house prices and tourism figures.

Opposition parties will need to raise their game - and quickly - if they are to make an impact next year.

More people are adding to the pot THE average number of people registered with the Spanish Social Security system last month rose by 133,765 to 16,430,053.

The 0.82% is the best result in National Insurance contribution figures since comparable records began.

In year-on-year terms,

197,701 contributors joined the Spanish Social Security system (1.22%).

The last time that many registered workers rose by such a high figure in April was in 2008, when the average number increased by 205,053.

This positive result is also reflected in the seasonally-adjusted figure, which went up for the eighth consecutive month with an in-

crease of 61,111. The number of contributors registered under the General Regime rose by 111,241 in April (0.84%) - an average of 13,283,268.

Over the last month, the number of contributors rose in the majority of sectors. Particularly noteworthy figures were posted by the Hotel and Catering Industry, with an increase of 64,774 (6.94%); by Trade, Repair of Motor Vehicles and Motorcycles, with an increase of 11,819 (0.56%); and by Administrative Activities and Ancillary Services, with an increase of 11,355 (1.11%).

Within the General Regime, the Special System for Agricultural Workers posted a reduction of 6,226 average contributors compared with the March figures (-0.82%) to a total of 755,084.

In turn, the Special System for Domestic Workers grew by 2,037 contributors (0.48%), meaning an average total of 430,743.

Some 3,080,910 contributors were regis-

tered under the Regime for Self-Employed Workers - a rise of 21,946 (0.72%) and the highest increase since comparable records began.

And 612 more people were registered under the Regime for Seamen (1%) to an average total of 61,635.

The total number of

contributors to the Spanish Social Security system as a whole rose by 197,701 (1.22%), while the rate rose by 2.11% under the Special Regime for Self-Employed Workers, which translates into an increase of 63,600 contributors over the last 12 months.

As for the number of

TUESDAY was a dark day for terrestrial TV viewers as nine popular channels disappeared.

were switched off because the Government didn’t feel they offered enough of a broad service required by their “licence” agreement.

Their “licences” were agreed under the previous government and, despite some strong viewing figures, the current administration believes they are not in the public’s interest.

Some of the channels will continue to broadcast in other formats.

Xplora will be available to stream free, via the website of its parent

foreign citizens registered with the Spanish Social Security System in April, the figure stood at an average of 1,563,621.

And of these, 1,328,633 are registered under the General Regime and 230,440 under the Regime for Self-Employed Workers.

Fury as telly channels close

Despite some lastgasp legal appeals, some of Spain’s most popular channels were closed down after a controversial ruling by the Supreme Court.

The nine DTT channels (three owned by the powerful Atresmedia, two by Mediaset, two from Veo TV and Net TV’s two channels)

company Atresmedia’s website.

And AXN will continue to broadcast on cable, satellite and IPTV systems. But there is grim news for the two most popular channels.

LaSexta3, which broadcasts films, and Nitro, aimed at men in the 25-55 age bracket, are unlikely to be seen again.

But some of Nitro’s most popular shows, such as Law & Order, Dexter, Criminal Minds and 24, should be switched to Atresmedia’s other channels.

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Spanish youngsters are seeking radical change, yet they retain loyalty!

THEY are hardly extremists, or even anti-establishment, yet Spain’s youngsters reject their country as it stands today.

The feelings run so deep that they are invoking something they couldn’t possibly have experienced firsthand: the spirit of the Spain’s transition to democracy, following the death of former dictator Francisco Franco in 1975.

They really want to see the country turned around completely.

They’re not after a revolution, and nor do they want to imitate the young people who took to the Paris streets in 1968.

True, they want change, radical change, but only with foundations provided by Spain’s institu-

tions wholly preserved.

At least, that’s the outcome of a new study by Metroscopia for El País called Young Spaniards 2014: a collective portrait.

It demonstrates that if it were up to the young voters, the Socialist Party would win the 25th May European elections - and the Spanish general elections of 2015!

Spain’s youngsters reject the way political parties are running things in their country. Yet they would rather see these organisations transformed than abolished altogether.

Most under-35s feel loyalty for Spain and for their own particular region, despite embracing Europe as well.

Youth may even be the driving force pushing the Spanish left out of the slump it has been in since 2011, when it performed dismally at local,

regional and national elections.

They tend to lean to the left, politically, a majority expressing sympathies for the Socialist Party. But their support is growing for the United Left (IU) and the centre party Unión Progreso y Democracia (UpyD), founded by a former Socialist.

Experts blamed voteranger at the Socialist Government’s budget cuts and other austerity policies, which, many felt, was a betrayal of leftist values.

The opinion poll, which targeted the 18-34 age group, also shows no appreciable indication of anti-establishment attitudes among the country’s young voters, who feel there can be no democracy without political parties and elections.

This result shatters popular theories about growing social unrest

Rajoy’s busy at the top...

SPANISH Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has been kept on his toes, welcoming world leaders over the past few days.

Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe was received by Rajoy in Santiago de Compostela, as part of his nine-day visit to Europe.

Both Rajoy and his counterpart from the Far East emphasised the close ties linking Spain and Japan. And they believe the meet-

ing will strengthen relations between the two countries even further.

Shinzo Abe’s visit coincided with the SpainJapan Dual Year, taking place six months after Rajoy’s trip to Tokyo and Fukushima.

Meanwhile, Spain’s PM has had a working meeting with the Prime Minister of Poland, Donald Tusk, who is on a brief visit to Spain.

His appearance comes within the framework of a tour of the main Euro-

pean capitals being undertaken by Tusk.

Last week, he held meetings with President Hollande, President Van Rompuy and Chancellor Merkel - to analyse the situation in Ukraine and European energy security.

During the meeting the two leaders tackled - aside from the issues referred to above - other matters such as the forthcoming institutional renewal of the European Union.

threatening the democratic system.

Some 30% admitted they would rather have been born in the US, Germany, Britain or France.

And 14%, when asked to define themselves politically, described themselves as “liberal”, 13% as “centrist,” 12% as “social democrats,” 16% as “socialists” and 10% as “conservatives”.

Only 1% said they were far-right radicals, with an identical percentage for far-left activists.

But even though they trust politics, 80% of youngsters also reject the current structure and management methods of the parties.

They believe this is stopping them from attracting the country’s top talent.

Around 28.8% of re-

spondents will vote for the Socialists at the European elections later this month, compared with 22.6% for the centre-right Popular Party (PP) and 14.2% for IU. Around 8.6% said they would vote for UPyD. This does not reflect genuine voter-intention, because older voters need to be factored in, and surveys show that the final result will likely be a PP victory - by a whisker!

The survey also asked youngsters what they thought about allowing regions to become independent states - a clear reference to the sovereignty drive by Catalan nationalists.

But only 13% agree with this option. A majority, 34%, would keep the state as it is now, while

16% would rather recentralise Spain and eliminate regional self-rule.

Another 16% want the regions to receive greater powers, while stopping short of independence.

On social issues, 72% feel there is no need to reform existing abortion legislation, despite the PP Government’s insistence of popular demand for a change.

Although Spanish society appears to favour a republic over a monarchy, there continues to be widespread support for King Juan Carlos.

That’s because he helped avert the 1981 anti-democratic coup, and also because the monarchy can provide the nation with positive services, such as helping secure foreign investment.

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9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

5m-euro facelift for Costa Adeje given green light ADEJE Council plans to spend over five million euros upgrading the Costa Adeje areas of Calles Valencia and Unterhaching and the Avenida Los Pueblos.

The cost will be met jointly by the Council, the Cabildo, the Canaries’ Government and various private investors in the relevant zones.

Gonzalo Delgado Díaz, Councillor for Works and Services, said these streets were set for a major upgrade in the coming months.

The Councillor added: “We are continuing to work to keep the borough in the first division, and the renovation of our public spaces is vitally important, as much for our Adeje residents as those who visit.

“These works are not just about keeping up appearances, but also improving the modernity and adding to the commercial dynamic and fluidity of the area, where tourism is the primary industry.

“We are meeting with residents and businesses in the zones affected, and we ask for the patience and understanding of residents because, once finished, the results will be positive for everyone in the neighbourhood.”

The works will have various timetables be-

cause each zone has different needs and levels of renovations required.

Adeje Council asks that business workers and residents take that into consideration, as well as remembering that once complete the value of the zone will increase, which benefits all concerned.

Calle Valencia

The main aim in this area is to reorganise the public spaces and green zones. The pavements and kerbs will be remodelled, as will the park alongside, improving the urban area overall.

Traffic and parking will be along one side, with increased ease for pedestrians along the

other. The plan is to redesign the street to allow a better flow of traffic and pedestrians.

Work along this street will cost an estimated 1,140,609.94 euros. The existing kiosks will be integrated into the new design, and new greenery will be installed alongside the existing palm trees.

Lighting will also be improved, and there will also be new street furniture, such as small wastepaper bins, benches, etc.

Calle Unterhaching Given the location of this street, being the main road connecting to Playa del Duque, the work will increase pedestrian access.

The street is flanked by two commercial centres, the Plaza del Duque and the París. It

Maternal deaths falling… but not enough says health group

FRESH figures released by the World Health Organisation (WHO) reveal that maternal deaths have fallen by 45% worldwide since 1990.

They have also produced evidence about the causes of women

dying in pregnancy or childbirth.

The WHO says most deaths are preventable, which underlines the need for more investment in pregnancy care. In 1990, more than half-a-million women died in pregnancy or childbirth. But by 2013, the figure had dropped to 289,000.

Yet the WHO maintains the figure is still

too high, with 33 maternal deaths around the world every hour.

The gap between rich and poor countries is wide. In sub-Saharan Africa, for instance, a 15-year-old girl has a one-in-40 chance of dying during pregnancy or childbirth. In Europe, that risk is one in 3,300.

The organisation believes the study highlights the need for poor-

er countries to invest more in health care.

But health experts say there is also evidence that in some rich countries, such as the United States, maternal mortality is rising.

More than one in four maternal deaths are caused by pre-existing conditions which complicate pregnancy, such as diabetes, HIV, malaria and obesity.

has a huge residential and hotel population and is a vital tourist point.

Two separate works are planned for here.

The first development will be by the meeting point of a number of pedestrian ways, which give the area huge urban potential The plan proposes a transformation of the enormous parking space at the end of the street into an urban, open pedestrian space.

At the same time, a new access to parking will be built, to include a lift for people with reduced mobility. A number of large pergolas will offer shade. There will be new garden areas and green zones, and a children’s area.

The second part of the works along this zone will see the garage ramps being modified to increase pedestrian space, as well as increasing the pavement between the Plaza del Duque commercial centre to the Playa del Duque beach.

Here, too, new green zones are planned along the pedestrian walkway, where the public can enjoy sea views.

Two-way traffic will continue here, but street parking on the sea side will be eliminated to install a bicycle lane. And, on the other side, there will be space for taxis, commercial offloading, rubbish collection, etc.

Avenida Los Pueblos Along this avenue, the plan is to unite two areas which were the first to be part of the overall upgrading - the Avenida España and the Avenida Rafael Puig.

The work should satisfy those who are not dependent on cars, as well as local businesses and the local commercial

axis. It will also optimise the capacity for vehicles through traffic-calming and redirection measures. The idea is also to promote the improved image of this public space.

The plan will see increased space for pedestrians, who will be able to walk through to the commercial zone, with reduced danger from speeding traffic. Extra green zones and shaded areas for the public are also planned, and increased space for cyclists as well.

Work is scheduled to begin where the Avenida Los Pueblos meets the Avenida Eugenio Domínguez (at the end of the calle Rafael Puig) and the Avenida España.

Pavement improvement, better green zones, shading, a bicycle lane along the sea side of the road, and new street drainage will be incorporated.

Lighting and telecommunication installations will also be installed, in keeping with the design along the Avenidas Eugenio Domínguez España.

The Avenida de Los Pueblos is to be included in the City Gas network, though it will be operated by GASCAN. The existing Transformation Centre will be moved to one side to allow a roundabout at the Avenida Rafael Puig intersection.

New street furniture will include benches, wastepaper bins and bus shelters. The roundabout at the top of Calle Gran Bretaña will be removed and two new roundabouts relocated at either end.

One of the Hotel Iberostar accesses will be removed to benefit pedestrians, and paved overpasses will also be built.

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Rajoy is backing students’ grants MARIANO RAJOY, Spain’s Prime Minister, says that funding for standard grants and scholarships has been increased by more than 20% in the General State Budget for 2014.

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

It’s only a job…

WORK is work and without work, nothing would get done. It’s a basic plank of any civilised society.

Somebody has to do it.

And that’s always been the way I’ve looked at work. I’ve never understood work snobbery. Why do people look down at somebody who cleans the drains, flips the burgers or mends the road?

I’m hopeless at anything creative with my hands. I’ve not a clue how an engine works, let alone how to strip and rebuild one.

But I do know how the media works, what it takes to write, how to broadcast and how to spot a wrong ’un.

This job changes the way you look at the world, sometimes for the better - often for the worse.

This week I had a “lively” discussion with someone who works for Hacked Off - the pressure group trying to change the media in the UK. I pointed out to this person that innocent people have nothing to fear, and that HO could have picked better role models than Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan.

Also this week, you will read about the horrific crimes Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall are accused of committing.

Head-shaking accusations.

And my week rounded off with a rare chat with one of our hardworking mayors. Like Grant, Coogan and so on, his “work” is out in the public domain.

Open to criticism every hour of the day, but a job that has to be done. Like the draincleaning and burgercooking. It’s just a job.

If you don’t want to do it, find something else.

It’s a point lost on Hacked Off. If you want to be bad in public, but don’t want the public to know, don’t get a public job.

It’s only work, after all!

Finally this week, I was sent a picture of Jock, from the Whiskey Jar, wearing his normal clothes. Doesn’t it suit him!

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

He also says that the income and wealth thresholds for accessing this financial aid have not been changed.

Rajoy stressed that all the measures be-

ing taken by his government whether aimed at lowering the school drop-out rate, improving student performance or ensuring that nobody is prevented from access to education on economic grounds - are focused on promoting equal opportunities.

The PM was responding to a question from Grupo Socialista (Socialist Group) MP Alfredo Pérez Rubalcaba, who asked whether the Government’s education policy was promoting equal opportunities. He also

questioned the grants’ policy.

During the PM Questions, Rajoy said that general grants and scholarships - those given to students who fall below the income threshold, or have special education needs have been increased by more than 20% in the budget for 2014.

“They have increased by 250 million euros to a total of 1.44 billion euros,” he said. “It is the largest amount ever allocated - I repeat, ever - in the General State Budget.”

Rajoy added: “More

students than ever have received funding this year - 820,709, of which 322,700 are university students. This year has the highest number of university grants ever.”

Rajoy was also adamant that the income and wealth thresholds for accessing grant had not been changed.

The percentage of grants awarded over the percentage of applicants has risen by five points, he said.

And the percentage of grants denied on economic grounds has dropped from 22% to 16%.

Your Emails

Dear Editor, The powers that be in Los Cristianos recently cleared the caravans parked on waste land adjacent to The Costamar.

They decided, with no reference to anybody, to create one caravan park along the seafront on Avda Juan Carlos 1, and another on the uphill side of the Avda Amsterdam dual carriageway.

The street signs say the time limit is 72 hours, but this ruling is being flouted and caravans are taking up permanent residence in one of the best areas in the whole of Los Cristianos.

People there are outraged at this abuse of their environment, and feelings are running high.

Where do they empty their toilets? Obviously, in the nearby sand dunes or wasteland adjacent to Avda Amsterdam!

This is a total disgrace.

Don Riggs

Avda. Claudio Delgado Diaz 99, Edf. Ayllon Local 2C, Pol. Ind. Las Chafiras, 38639 San Miguel De Abona, Tenerife PRINTED BY: TF Print S.A.

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Features Editor: John Hennessey

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Contributors: Adi Benson, Carl Pattison, Emma Swain, Geoff Huxtable, Jamie Drew, Joe Ferguson, Mariano Zunino Siri, Margaret Tully, Ruth Benson, Sue McDonald, Val Sainsbury Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2014 Canarian Weekly

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CANARY Island families may be better off than official figures denote, because a whopping 11% of household owners have a second home!

Figures out this week suggest that the advancement of the middle classes is faster than thought. According to an official report

by Survey of Income and Living Conditions 2013, a total of 90,006 Canarian families have second homes - 10,000 more than in 2007.

The report, published by the Instituto Canario de Estadística (ISTAC), shows that 11.23% of the total households (801,779) recorded in the archipelago have a second residency.

It was thought that the property bubble bursting, and the worldwide financial crisis would see the figure plummet.

But this is not the case, although what the report doesn’t show is how those with second or third proper-

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Hard up?

We own two homes! ties are doing with the extra burden.

Interestingly, the increase in this type of property ownership has been parallel to population growth and, therefore, of primary residences.

In total, there are 801,779 households in the Canary Islands. Six years ago there were 707,824.

Tenerife, as the most populated island, leads the way with second homes, with 37,143 families having second places. This tops Gran Canaria (29,216); Lanzarote and Fuerteventura (15,397); La Palma, La Gomera and El Hierro (8,250).

Also, most people buy another house without going far, as demonstrated by 68.06% of “second housers” being on the same island, 9.7% in another island

of the archipelago and 22.1% in the Peninsula or abroad.

Meanwhile, the old adage of sea and sunshine holds firm for foreigners who buy a second home.

The Canary Islands and Mediterranean coast are easily the most popular places still. Baleares (30.78%), Valencia (24.83%) and Canary Islands (24.60%) are the three communities where most foreigners buy property. Only 3.86% buy in Madrid, and just 3.64% in Catalonia.

And of the foreigners buying in the Canaries, Brits still lead the way (18.98%), followed by Germany (14.39%), Belgium (13.3%), Italy (10.66%), Russia (5.47%), Norway (3.78%), France (3.36%), China (2.2%) and Sweden (2.11%).

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9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

In the swing at the first El Médano jazz festival THE first Red Mountain Jazz Festival (Jazz Roja), comprising Jazz, Blues and Soul, kicked off on Monday in El Médano.

It continues through the weekend and is unique in that all the musicians live in the Canary Islands.

In all, the 58 artistes will, between them, have performed in no fewer than 15 free-

entry concerts by the Festival finale on Sunday night.

This event is aimed at promoting the rich, musical diversity of the Canaries - and highlighting El Médano as a sophisticated, cosmopolitan area which can compete with any other in Europe.

The Festival consists of three parts - the Ruta de Jazz, between Monday and today (Friday), when concerts have been taking place throughout the town’s bars, terraces and res-

taurants.

Tomorrow (Saturday), between 7pm-1am, an open-air Jazz and Blues show goes ahead on the Plaza Roja, featuring five groups, followed by an After-Jazz Party at the Goiter Bar until the early hours.

The Festival comes to a close on Sunday with an open Jam session and Closing Party, from 7pm to 11pm.

Some of the revenue generated by this new festival will be donated to CARITAS, the non-profit organisation

based in the Granadilla municipality, which houses El Médano.

This charitable group work tirelessly to give essential aid to families and individuals in need of food, clothing and basic essentials.

Although we are told that Spain’s economic crisis is over, a visit to Granadilla’s CARITAS centre paints an entirely different story.

And that’s why it was decided that the Jazz Roja Festival, as well as promoting local music and enlivening the local

economy, should also help those in genuine need.

Remaining dates & venues Tonight (Friday), 9.30pm: David Minguillón Quartet (Jazz, Jazz Fusión), Veinte 04 Surf Cafe. 11pm: Abraxas Trío (Latin-JazzFusión), Bar Jeip Tomorrow (Saturday), 6pm: Groovy Groove Quartet (Smooth Jazz).

7.30pm: Anna Rodriguez & Eliseo Lloreda Face Quartet (Jazz, Blues, Motown, Funk). 8.40pm: Qfm Sunset Session

with DJ Pablo Amador.

9pm: Liqueur de Feeling Quintet ft. Marianne Robiou (Swing, Jazz, Blues, Funk, Bossanova). 10pm: Cotton Blues (Blues, Blues-Jazz, Blues-Rock). Midnight: Fermin Rivero Quintet & Guest, Charly Daicz (Jazz, Jazz-Funk, Flamenco-Jazz-Rock).

All acts at Plaza Roja.

1am: After-Jazz Party with DJ Pablo Amador, Goiter Bar Sunday, 7pm: Open Jam Session & Jazz Roja Closing Party, Goiter Bar

Businessmen: Keep Scots in!

MANY companies in England, Wales and Northern Ireland believe Scotland should remain part of the UK, for the sake of their business.

The British Chambers of Commerce (BCC), impartial in the debate, surveyed around 2,500 of its members and 85% said they would prefer Scotland not to break away.

Some 66% said new opportunities would not appear if it were a Yes vote, while 35% said a formal currency union - a key ambition of the SNP-led campaign would suit the UK best.

John Longworth, BCC Director General, said: “Business opinion across the United Kingdom on the Scottish independence debate is far from unanimous.

“That’s only logical, as businesses have different interests, and different views on our com-

plex history of economic and political union.

“In the event of a Yes vote, cross-border trading and currency arrangements loom large in businesses’ thinking.

If Scotland votes No,

constitutional questions remain around the devolution of power and the distribution of public funding between nations.”

The poll has been seized upon by the No

campaigners, as they did with a recent report from credit-ratings agency Moody’s, which said an independent Scotland would find itself downgraded.

Ian Murray, Edinburgh

South Labour MP and Shadow Business Minister, said: “This survey confirms what some of Scotland’s largest employers, like Standard Life, RBS and Shell, have made clear.

Breaking up the UK would create huge risks and cost jobs in Scotland.

“The majority of businesses in the rest of the UK do not support a currency union. It would be bad for Scotland and bad for the rest of the UK. That’s why it is off the table.”

He added: “What people in Scotland need from the nationalists is some honesty about what would replace the pound if we leave the UK. Would we rush to adopt the euro, or would we set up a separate Scottish currency?

“The idea that Scots can go to the polls blind on this fundamental issue isn’t credible.”

Yet there is hardly unanimity north of the border, either - nor an overwhelming sense of fear

that cross-border trade would come to a shuddering halt.

Many there expect business to continue, if not entirely as normal then with significant benefits in the longer term.

Tony Banks, chairman of Business for Scotland, a pro-independence campaign group with nearly 2,000 members, said: “This is a survey that, of course, doesn’t include Scottish businesses who have a rather different perception.

“Scottish independence offers real advantages to everyone, not only in Scotland but across our shared markets in Europe - that independence doesn’t equal isolation.

“And businesses here are well aware of the opportunities they can gain. Even the Scottish Chambers of Commerce survey issued last week conceded that 53% of its members see the opportunities independence could bring.”

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It’s A Knockout star ‘groomed and raped’ daughters of friends FORMER television broadcaster Stuart Hall, 84, groomed two young girls and raped them in his BBC dressing room, a court heard.

Prosecutors at Preston Crown Court said Mr Hall, then 47, and currently serving a prison sentence for sexual offences, invited one of the girls to the former BBC studios in Manchester.

She had, it was alleged, “expressed an interest in becoming a make-up artist in films and TV”.

Another girl was raped in his marital home where he took cuttings of her pubic hair to use as a ‘sexual trophy’, the jury was told.

Mr Hall denies 20 charges of rape and indecent assault involving two victims in the Seventies His defence told the jury that they needed to decide whether Mr Hall was “a rapist”.

He admitted one count of indecent assault in court on Tuesday.

Last year, Mr Hall, from Wilmslow, Cheshire, received a 15-month jail sentence for 14 offences of indecent assault against 13 girls.

His sentence was later extended to 30 months, at the Court of Appeal.

Peter Wright QC, opening the case for the prosecution in the latest trial on Tuesday, said the two girls’ families knew Mr Hall, who “abused their trust”.

The QC added: “These were young, impressionable teenagers being groomed by a sexual predator into satisfying his sexual requirements. He took advantage of the influence he had over them and their continued silence.

“But now, all these years later, their silence has been broken and they are prepared to reveal publicly what happened to them at the hands of this man all those years ago.”

The jury were told that he sexually abused “girl A” between 1st January

1976 and 30th September 1978.

The offending, allegedly, began when she was about 14 and went on until she was 16.

Mr Wright said Mr Hall took her to his dressing room, where he “plied her with alcohol” and raped her.

Afterwards, Mr Hall gave her a lift home.

The girl made no complaint to anyone, and blamed herself for getting drunk, the court heard.

Mr Wright said: “She was, after all, a 14-yearold girl who had been invited to the studios of a TV celebrity, been reduced into a state of intoxication and then abused.”

The court heard the girl went to the studios each week for 12 months.

“It happened so frequently that the girl lost count of the number of times,” Mr Wright added. “She estimates he had intercourse with her on at least 30 occasions.”

The QC said it was the prosecution’s case he groomed her “into submitting to sexual intercourse and further sexual indignity with him”.

The jury were told that she did not reveal what had happened until last year.

Mr Wright said: “She reports that, in fact, her husband tried to blackmail her into giving him money, failing which he would inform her family of the sexual abuse she had suffered. His conduct, not surprisingly, led to their estrangement.”

The court heard about the second alleged victim, “girl B”, who said she was raped and in-

decently assaulted by Stuart Hall between the ages of 12 and 15. The jury were told it coincided with his abuse of “girl A”.

Prosecutors said the first attack happened while the girl was cleaning stables and Mr Hall arrived unannounced.

Mr Wright said: “He approached her in the stables, partially removed her clothing and raped her against a wall.”

The jury were told that she was raped in his marital home, where he took cuttings of her pubic hair to use as a “sexual trophy”.

And the former It’s A Knockout presenter, it was claimed, also indecently assaulted girl B in her own bedroom.

The court heard that as the girl grew up, she also showed an interest in a TV career. She would go to the BBC studios, where Hall would rape her in his dressing room.

Mr Wright added: “His sole concern was selfgratification. She was, we say, his toy, to be used and abused as he saw fit.”

She kept her silence until July last year, when she spoke to police.

After the prosecution finished opening its case, Mr Hall’s barrister Crispin Aylett made a short opening statement.

“The defendant says in his pleas of not guilty that whatever his shortcomings, whatever he has done - and none of this should have happened - he says, ‘I’m not a rapist’, and that, in due course, is the issue you will have to decide.”

The trial is expected to last seven days.

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Chinese Pinocchio is long-nosed dinosaur THE skeleton of a new tyrannosaur dinosaur, nicknamed “Pinocchio Rex, has been discovered by a “one-in-amillion” chance in China.

The long-snouted carnivore, with an elongated skull and narrow teeth, was dug up by workmen on a building site near the Chinese city of Ganzhou.

“It is an awesome specimen, almost a complete skeleton,” said Edinburgh University’s Dr Steve Brusatte, who has been

examining the bones, along with colleagues.

“It really is a one-in-amillion find.

“This is a different breed of tyrannosaur. It had the familiar toothy grin of T-rex, but its snout was much longer, and it had a row of horns on its nose.

“It might have looked a little comical, but it would have been as deadly as any other tyrannosaur, and maybe even a little faster and stealthier.”

Experts believe the near-adult specimen stalked the earth during the late Cretaceous period, more than 66 million years ago.

Bank Holiday bonanza time A TICKET-HOLDER in Britain has joined an elite club by winning £73m in last Friday’s EuroMillions draw.

It’s the eighth-biggest UK win in National Lottery history, and a spokesman said: “The champagne is on ice.”

The winning numbers were 30, 42, 04, 31 and 38, while the Lucky Star numbers were 11 and 02.

The largest British win, £161m, went to Colin and Christine Weir, of Largs, in Scotland, July 2011.

Britain’s secondlargest jackpot, £148m, was collected by Adrian and Gillian Bayford, from Haverhill, Suffolk,

in August 2012. And No.3 in the all-time winners’ list was the £113m claimed by an anonymous person in October 2010.

The National Lottery spokesman added: “This Bank Holiday has turned out to be truly memorable for one UK person. Not only will they enjoy the extra day off, but they’ll now be banking a multi-million-pound cheque.

“This single UK ticket-holder will enter the exclusive top 10 on the National Lottery rich list, and the champagne’s on ice for the lucky winner.”

The dinosaur’s proper name is Qianzhousaurus sinensis.

Professor Junchang Lu, from the Chinese Academy of Geological Sciences, said: “Although we are only starting to learn about them, the longsnouted tyrannosaurs were apparently one of the main groups of predatory dinosaurs in Asia.”

Palaeontologists had been uncertain about the existence of longsnouted tyrannosaurs

until the remains were dug up.

Until that point, just two fossilised juvenile tyrannosaurs with elongated heads had been found, and scientists felt they might have been normal Trexs during an earlygrowth phase.

Pinocchio Rex lived alongside other tyrannosaurs, say experts, but was much smaller and would not have competed for food because it probably hunted different prey.

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Sharks culled after swimmers attacked THE death of six people from shark attacks has led to a controversial culling policy in Western Australia.

More than 170 sharks have been caught on baited drum lines, which were set up along seven beaches as part of a trial between January and April.

It led to 50 of the biggest sharks being destroyed.

But no great white sharks, said to be responsible for most of the

attacks, were trapped.

Australia’s state government, which said the cull had restored confidence among beachgoers, hopes to continue the programme for three years.

Ken Baston, Western Australia Fisheries Minister, said: “The strategy has gone very well, bearing in mind that it’s a very broad strategy and which is, basically, to protect the people who swim in those popular areas.

“While, of course, we will never know if any of the sharks caught would

have harmed a person, this government will always place greatest value on human life.”

Protesters argue that a shark cull is not the answer, and would serve only to damage the sea’s delicate ecosystem.

Labour fisheries spokesman Dave Kelly said: “The policy is very unpopular, and it has hardly caught any of the sharks it was destined to catch.

“What people want is scientific research to show why the government thinks this policy makes our beaches safer.”

Bitter Lewinsky blows her top

THE White House intern, who had an affair with President Bill Clinton which could have led to his demise, has broken her lengthy silence in the media.

Monica Lewinsky, now 40, writes in the Vanity Fair magazine that she deeply regretted the fling, and says the US President “took advantage” of her, though their relationship was consensual.

Republicans failed in their 1998 effort to oust him from office on the grounds that he had lied about the affair.

But with Mr Clinton’s wife Hillary said to be mulling over a 2016 run for the presidency, the Lewinsky matter has re-emerged in US political discourse, in part because Republicans are eager to wield it against her.

In an advance excerpt from the article released by Vanity Fair, Ms Lewinsky says she hopes to reclaim her story. She is still recognised every day, and sees her name thrown about in pop culture and the news media.

“I, myself, deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton,” she writes. “Let me say it

again: I. Myself. Deeply. Regret. What. Happened.”

Ms Lewinsky said she suffered abuse and humiliation after the scandal broke in 1998, partly because she was made a “scapegoat” to protect the President.

“The Clinton administration, the special prosecutor’s minions,

the political operatives on both sides of the aisle, and the media were able to brand me,” she writes.

“And that brand stuck, in part because it was imbued with power.”

Since leaving the Clinton administration, she worked briefly as a handbag designer, and as the host of a US

reality dating show.

Ms Lewinsky then moved to London for a graduate degree, but has had difficulty getting work in the US because of her past. Now, she wants to help victims of harassment, Republicans in the House of Representatives, arguing that Clinton had lied to

federal investigators about his relationship with Ms Lewinsky, impeached the President, essentially bringing him up on charges in the Senate to determine whether he could be expelled from office.

But the attempt failed, Clinton served in the White House until his term ended in

2000. His wife, Hillary, meanwhile, went on to be elected US senator and to serve as Secretary of State under President Barack Obama. She is currently tipped as a front-runner for the Democratic 2016 Presidential nomination.

But Republicans say the Clinton affair with Lewinsky will be fair game should Mrs Clinton actually run.

Republican Senator Rand Paul, also tipped to run for the 2016 Presidency in 2016, said recently: “Bosses shouldn’t prey on young interns in their office.”

He added: “Mr Clinton took advantage of a girl who was 20 years old and an intern in his office. There is no excuse for that, and it is predatory behaviour.”

In her article, Ms Lewinsky says her desire to break her silence after so many years is to “give a purpose” to her past.

“Perhaps by sharing my story, I reasoned, I might be able to help others in their darkest moments of humiliation,” she writes.

Her aim now is “to get involved with efforts on behalf of victims of online humiliation and harassment, and to start speaking on this topic in public forums”.

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THE world’s biggest singing competition is upon us, and the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest is the most wide open for years.

For all the stick the event gets, it is still watched by more than people than attracted to the Oscars. And it attracts more viewers in the UK than the finals of X-Factor or BGT! The annual contest returns to Copenhagen for the first time since 2001, and it has changed since it last pitched up in Denmark.

There are more coun-

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Will UK be OK at Eurovision?

tries than ever taking part - 37 this year - and while in Britain it’s seen as a bit of fun, it is a very serious event for many countries, especially the newer ones in eastern Europe.

Latvia, Estonia and Russia have all triumphed in recent years and, after Azerbaijan won in 2010, their fierce neighbours and rivals Armenia vowed to fol-

low suit. And this year they have their best chance, with long-time favourite Aram MP3.

His Not Alone offering has been red-hot favourite with the bookies until this week.

It’s a strong song, but with the individual countries having to foot the bill for their performance, it is lacking pizzazz on the stage.

This has seen Sweden’s entry leading the bookies list, and 29-year-old blonde Sanna Nielsen performs Undo, a Celine Dion-style power ballad which will tick a lot of boxes. The easy-onthe eye Sanna will take all the beating.

A month ago The Netherlands, who have no Eurovision pedigree, were 300-1 outsiders.

But they are now the act on everyone’s lips.

The Common Linnets’ Calm After The Storm sounds as though it was conceived in Nashville and is a rare country effort.

It’s easy to see why the song is being talked up, and they were excellent in Tuesday’s semi-final. But to coin a boxing phrase, we are not sure how well it will go down in the bars of Riga or Tallinn.

Spain has its best entry for a while, former UK X-Factor contest-

ant Ruth Lorenzo controversially winning the sing-off to represent her country of birth.

She is singing in English, which hasn’t gone

down well with everyone. But no doubt she will be wearing her trademark boots and tight top, as every little helps.

And what of the UK? Molly may be unknown outside of the music industry, but she has penned a fine tune. It’s the UK’s best chance of winning this Millennium and, at around 7-1, the bookies think she can go all the way.

Her Children of the Universe song is a grower and wouldn’t look out of place on a Florence & The Machine album. She has a massive chance and her father, who was on holiday in Tenerife last week, is certainly confident.

Throw in a transvestite act (Austria), a Bruno Mars rip-off (Denmark), a Pink rip-off (Macedonia), a Robin Thicke rip-off (Belarus) … okay, you see where we are going with this.

It looks like another classic Eurovision and, for us, another Swedish win.

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ROLF HARRIS arrived on Monday at Southwark Crown Court, where he faces trial for 12 counts of indecent assault.

The 84-year-old entertainer is accused of assaulting four girls, aged between seven and 19, between 1968 and 1986.

He denies the charges.

Jury selection began on Tuesday, to be followed by the prosecution outlining its case.

The trial, in front of Mr Justice Sweeney, is expected to last more than six weeks.

Mr Harris, from Bray, Berkshire, pleaded not guilty to all charges during a January hearing at the court. He arrived at court with his wife, Alwen, and his security team.

The evergreen Australian entertainer, famed for comedy songs such as Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport and Jake The Peg, plus the serious Sun Arise and Two

Little Boys, has been in the public eye in Britain for more than 50 years He was commissioned to paint a portrait of the Queen in 2005, and performed at her Diamond Jubilee Concert last year.

Rolf’s first impact came with Tie Me Kangaroo Down, in 1960, and he continued to enjoy success in the industry as well as forging a TV career.

The entertainer, who has lived in the village of Bray for more than 50 years, has also received a number of honours, and was made Officer of the Order of Australia in the Queen’s Birthday Honours in 2012.

But his career, which was still going strong until his arrest and subsequent charges, has since been in freefall.

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

The tragic death of British tennis queen ELENA BALTACHA, once Britain’s No.1 female tennis player, has died of liver cancer at the age of 30.

Her family announced that she passed away peacefully at her home early on Sunday morning.

Elena, born in Kiev, retired from professional tennis in November after struggling to overcome a series of injuries.

Tragically, she was diagnosed with the disease with the illness just two months later, and only weeks after marrying her coach, Nino Severino.

“We are heartbroken beyond words at the loss of our beautiful, talented and determined Bally,” said Severino in a statement released by her family.

“She was an amazing person and she touched

so many people with her inspirational spirit, her warmth and her kindness.”

Elena, daughter of former Ipswich, St Mirren and Inverness footballer Sergei, reached a career-high world ranking of 49 in 2010, and she beat such players as Li Na and Francesca Schiavone.

She was British No.1 for 132 weeks, from December 2009 to June 2012, and racked up 11 International Tennis Federation titles.

She played 39 times for Britain in the Fed Cup from 2003 to 2012 and was also part of Team GB at the London 2012 Olympics.

Elena was diagnosed at the age of 19 with primary sclerosing cholangitis, a chronic liver condition which compromises the immune system.

Eleanor Preston, her agent and friend, told Sky News: “Elena was a fighter, on and off

court, and that’s why her spirit and memory will live on.

“She was somebody who achieved an awful lot, despite having a very serious liver condition, which she struggled with since she was 19.

“For that reason, she should be held up as a real role model for everybody, for the way she overcame those obstacles and went on to achieve great things – and, throughout it all, without having the slightest ounce of pity or ego about it.”

Among those from the world of tennis `paying tribute was former world No.1 and multiple Wimbledon champion Billy Jean King, who said: “Saddened to hear about Elena Baltacha’s passing.

“My fondest memory with Bally was sharing a wonderful chat when we met the Queen at Wimbledon.”

Current women’s

British No.1 Laura Robson paid tribute to her “team-mate” on Twitter, writing: “Impossibly sad. Forever a team-mate. Sweet dreams Bally.”

Elena’s pal, Wimbledon champion Andy Murray, has pledged to play in a fund-raiser in her memory, along with Martina Navratilova and Tim Henman.

Iain Bates, the Lawn Tennis Association’s head of women’s tennis, said in a statement: “Today, we have lost a shining light from the heart of British tennis - a true role model, a great competitor and a wonderful friend.”

In 2010, she launched the Elena Baltacha Academy of Tennis, which helps children from all backgrounds to learn and play tennis.

The previously announced Rally For Bally - a fund-raiser scheduled for next month, will still go ahead, in her memory.

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Teenage cancer kid hits back at his disbelievers after his 3m for charity THE terminallyill teenager, who has raised more than £3m for charity, is at the centre of an astonishing row.

Stephen Sutton has been accused on Twitter of “duping” people after being released from hospital following a dramatic improvement in his condition.

The 19-year-old, diagnosed with incurable, colorectal cancer four years earlier, had written a “bucket list” of 46 things to do before his time was up. But he was recently discharged after saying he had “coughed up a tumour”.

This led to some people questioning his story, but the youngster, from Burntwood in Staffordshire, has hit back, insisting he still has incurable cancer.

Stephen, in response to one Twitter user, wrote: “Sorry to disappoint you! So you know, I still have my cancer and it’s still incurable, if

that makes you feel less ‘duped’ x.”

The Birmingham Mail newspaper reported that one person wrote on its Facebook page: “Am I the only one who thinks something is not quite right here? While I hope I am wrong, it feels like we are being conned.

“One minute he tweets saying he is dying and won’t see the next day,

then all of a sudden he is being released to go home. As I said, I hope I am wrong, but I have a strange feeling about this.”

But Stephen, writing on Twitter on Monday, said: “I just gave a quick response, thought nothing of it and was (and still am) completely unaffected by it.”

He added: “Trolls

and cynics exist. It’s a shame. But just try not to retaliate too aggressively, or get too riled.

Like I’ve said before, on the whole, people are ‘good’, so let’s concentrate on that.”

His condition and subsequent release from hospital was confirmed

by Justin Stebbing, professor of cancer medicine and oncology at

Imperial College, London.

He told Sky News it was possible for some cancer patients to cough up tumours and have temporary respite in their condition.

“I think Stephen’s an amazing young man, and it’s incredible what he has done,” he added. “It’s quite feasible for people to cough up

pieces of tumour and be able to leave hospital.

“But unfortunately, cancer sometimes affects young people and he looks like he’s a very sick young man.”

A spokeswoman for Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital, where the teenager was being treated for multiple tumours, would not comment on his case on the grounds of patient confidentiality.

Steven enjoyed an extraordinary surge in donations to his JustGiving page after celebrities used Twitter to highlight his fund-raising efforts for the Teenage Cancer Trust.

Raising £1m for charity had also been one of his bucket-list items, and the fund rocketed after that plug.

He has also met and been photographed with Prime Minister David Cameron, and on Sunday he ticked off another item when he set a Guinness World Record for the most people making a heart-shaped hand gesture - more than 500!

Madeleine - a fresh breakthrough THE Met Police plan to dig for evidence in the resort where Madeleine McCann vanished in 2007.

They have been given the green light by Portuguese authorities, and forensics officers will use ground-penetrating radar equipment to search three sites in Praia da Luz. One of the sites is thought to be the apartment from where Madeleine disappeared. and Martin said: “We don’t know exactly where the digging will take place, and the operation is not being launched on new information.

“It appears that information given to the Por-

tuguese over the past seven years indicated that evidence might be found at certain locations.” He added: “We think one of them may be the beach area and another may be around the apartments where Madeleine was last seen.

It is a breakthrough, and it really will launch a new phase in the investigation.

“That’s because it will be the first time we’ll see Scotland Yard officers on the ground - not just talking to Portuguese police, but working with them in the search for, perhaps, more tangible evidence.”

Madeleine was three when she went missing and her mother, Kate McCann, told Sky News last week that she

needed to know what happened to her daughter, even if it were the “worst-case scenario”.

She added: “Madeleine’s either alive or she isn’t, and we can’t change that. Obviously, our hope is that she’s alive and being welllooked-after.

“But regardless of the outcome, we need to know. We all need to know.”

Madeleine disappeared from the apartment she was staying in with her parents and two siblings on 3rd May 2007.

In April, police revealed that they were investigating five new cases in which young British girls were sexually abused during holiday-home break-ins in the Algarve.

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Clarkson fans the flames of a ‘racist’ slur JEREMY CLARKSON, whose wife is said to be planning a divorce, has waded into the BBC because of how it dealt with his “racist language” row.

The controversial Top Gear host used his weekly newspaper column to hit out at the Beeb’s plan for him to issue a public apology following claims that he used the N-word while reciting a nursery rhyme during the filming his show.

A video emerged online from an old Top Gear out-take, which saw the presenter start to recite “Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe”, then seemingly mumble a racial slur in the next line.

In his column in The Sun, Clarkson detailed how he found out about the leak, and the realisation that his job could be under threat after the Prime Minister was asked to comment.

Clarkson wrote: “Happily, the BBC had a plan. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very good one.

They said, very firmly, that I should apologise.

Hmmm.

“An apology is a good idea if you’ve just spilled some beer down someone’s shirt, or if you’ve accidentally trodden on someone’s toe in a Tube train.

“But saying sorry for using the most racist word of them all, and

hoping the story would die down as a result?

“That’s like murdering someone and expecting to be let off if you apologise to the dead man’s mum.”

A contrite Clarkson appeared in a video posted on Twitter, in which he said he was “horrified” that it sounded as though he used racist language in a take which was never broadcast.

The apology was retweeted more than 15,000 times but failed to settle the issue.

Politicians were quick to jump aboard the anti-Clarkson bandwagon, Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman writing on Twitter: “Anybody

who uses the N-word in public or private, in whatever context, has no place in the British Broadcasting Corporation.”

Nigel Farage, the UKIP leader whose star is currently shining, said the TV celebrity had not gone over the line, saying it was “typical Clarkson”.

Mr Farage said: “The more controversial Jeremy Clarkson is, the more people watch his programme, and the more money the BBC makes out of marketing a show that sells globally and makes them a fortune.

“I would think it’s just typical Clarkson, getting very, very close to

the line of being offensive but, perhaps, not quite going over it.”

The presenter received messages of support from fans on Twitter, and he was backed by Education Secretary Michael Gove, who said his apology should draw a line under the affair.

But Lord Herman Ouseley, chairman of the anti-racism campaign group Kick It Out, said: “The BBC has turned a blind eye to Clarkson’s indiscretions in the past and is afraid to take action against someone who considers himself to be a law unto himself.”

Clarkson, 54, has been warned by the BBC that if he slips up in the fu-

ture, he will be fired.

He also wrote in the same column: “I’ve been told by the BBC that if I make one more offensive remark, anywhere, at any time, I will be sacked. And even the Angel Gabriel would struggle to survive with that hanging over his head.

“It’s inevitable that one day, someone, somewhere will say that I’ve offended them - and that will be that.

“The BBC will take my gun and badge and I’ll be out of the door with a bin-liner full of nothing but a few mementos.”

Plus, of course, a good few quid because he is said to have made £14m from the BBC

alone last year! Clarkson explained the incident to bosses at the BBC, which said in a statement: “We have made it absolutely clear to him the standards the BBC expects on-air and off.”

Meanwhile, Frances Clarkson, his wife of 21 years, was apparently celebrating her decision to divorce him with her best pal in Mallorca last month.

They have lived apart for three years, but the 52-year-old has refused to comment.

Yet a divorce would bring her a large slice of his fortune because she helped build his career and he is believed to be worth £30m in all!

Choir children fall ill on flight from Dubai SIXTY choir children, returning from a trip to South Africa, were taken ill on their flight to London.

The close-knit Welsh group, aged 10-14, were treated by paramedics after some of them began vomiting and suf-

fering diarrhoea. After stopping off at Dubai to switch planes on their way home, they told flight staff they were feeling poorly.

Four ambulances, plus a rapid-response bike and a hazardous-materials unit, met the Emirates Airbus at Heathrow.

Most of the youngsters were treated on the runway, but 11 were taken

to hospital in nearby Hillingdon and later discharged. They were travelling back from Cape Town, where they had performed together as Only Kids Aloud, a Welsh children’s choir.

A separate platform was used to help the stricken kids from the plane, and Bet Davies, from the Millennium Centre in Cardiff - where

the choir rehearse - said: “Some of them were sick on take-off, some on landing and some during the turbulence.

“The rules of the airline industry state that if more than three children are sick on the same flight, you must have paramedics in to check on them. “We were also anxious that they were checked out before

travelling back to Wales because we have a duty of care towards them.

“The medics said it could have been somebody with a bit of a bug before he/she travelled, or a combination of what I’d describe as nausea, tiredness and not drinking enough.”

An Emirates spokesman said: “We provided the affected passengers

with all possible support, and we’re working closely with the local authorities to investigate the issue.”

During their trip, the choir sang with opera and concert superstar Bryn Terfel. The Welshman, who has won several Grammy and Classical Brit Awards, was making his debut in South Africa.

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Money Matters

By Jana Korpova

HOME-OWNERS in tourist hotspots in the Canaries and mainland Spain should be preparing their property now if they wish to benefit fully from the 2014 holiday rental market.

But beware: there could be paperwork to sort out. Rules governing holiday lets are now controlled by regional governments in mainland Spain, meaning owners who do not prepare in advance may not have their property ready in time for high season.

Why? It is highly likely you will need a licence or approval of sorts from the local town hall to let your property legally.

There are also strict rules governing holiday lets in the Canaries. Typically, homes in residential areas which are not part of a tourist complex cannot be let without a licence - and obtaining one is not easy.

Meanwhile, properties which form part of a tourist complex are usually obliged to use a certain letting agent, registered as a sole agent for that complex.

Advice should be taken from an experienced letting agent to ensure you stay within the rules and don’t leave yourself exposed to large fines, either in the Canaries or in the Costas.

However, once the paperwork is sorted, it’s time to prepare your property. And to enable things to run smoothly, here are 10 tips to help you get started.

1. Get to grips with the local rules for receiving paying guests.

Depending on the location, you may be required to give their passport details to the local police station, just as hotels must record these details. You may also need to collect a tourist tax from

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Holiday lets... are you tuned up for the 2014 season?

your guests, which you pass on to the local government.

2. Declare your rental income. Remember, the authorities are looking at international rental websites to track down tax-dodgers. The UK has double-tax treaties with most European countries, including Spain, so you won’t pay the same tax twice.

3. Choose your letting agent carefully, if you are allowed to do so. This is especially relevant if you live in the UK and cannot respond to problems immediately. An agent can take away much of the hassle of rentals, so look for one who has a good reputation locally. Normally they will charge 15-20% of the rent received and, although this can seem a lot of money, they will ensure your property is well-maintained, supply cleaners, meet and greet visitors and be on call if there are problems.

4. If you manage your property, be prepared to work hard. You will need to answer all enquiries from prospective renters, keep a calendar of arrivals and

departures, maintain the premises to a high standard, welcome your guests and check everything when they depart - and be on 24hour call for emergencies.

5. Present your property well. Take really good photos for your advertisement, not only of the interior but also of the surroundings. Cleanliness is paramount, and tourists from all over the world expect high standards.

Think of small things you would like to find if you were staying in your home - little extras count for a lot and earn good reviews.

Don’t forget, TV, Satellite, Wi-Fi and DVDs are often expected these days!

6. Offer a welcome pack. Sometimes visitors arrive late, the shops are closed and they don’t want to go to out to eat. A basket of essentials is always welcome - eggs, butter, bread, tomatoes, salad, water, beer and/ or wine.

7. Information about what is happening in your area is gratefully accepted. Leave the district’s calendar of

events, leaflets about local attractions, music festivals, sports and pretty beaches. Mention all these in your advert. Direct guests to local tourist offices for more options. Don’t forget to mention local markets of all descriptions. Holidaymakers love markets!

8. Get suitable insurance. Your household and contents insurance policy should be provide adequate cover for holiday rentals, including the necessary third party liability and cover for vacant periods.

There are UK insurers that specialise in these types of policy, or look locally.

9. When you need to send money to your euro bank account in the Canaries or mainland Spain, for example, to cover any running costs or mortgage payments, use a currency exchange specialist, such as Smart Currency Exchange, rather than just asking your UK bank to make the transfer.

Why? A currency specialist will give you far better exchange rates than your bank and offer a faster, more per-

sonal service.

The same applies for when you need to repatriate money from your Spanish euro account to your UK bank.

If you’re yet to buy your Spanish property, you could save thousands by using a currency specialist to pay for your new home.

10. Price your property realistically. Find similar rental properties to yours on the internet to get an idea of rental rates, and what is included in those rates.

If you offer more, you can charge more: bed linen and towels provided (difficult to transport for guests travelling from abroad), satellite TV, internet connection, children and pets allowed, travel cot provided, useful items provided (tea, coffee, salt, sugar, olive oil, vinegar, washingup liquid, kitchen roll, toilet roll, soap, shower gel, washing powder all - inconvenient for guests to have to buy for a week’s holiday).

And a professional cleaning service saves time for departing guests and gives you reassurance that your

next guests will find an impeccable holiday home.

With rental experience and positive reviews on your property, you will be able to charge more. Therefore, it is worth pricing the rental slightly lower for the first season in order to gain ground in both of those things.

Consider changing your rates according to the popularity of the season. Check your local events calendar for important dates, which may enable you to charge a premium to tourists booking for a particular event (motor racing, a fashion show or a carnival, for example).

Also, decide how you want payment of deposit, damage deposit and balance. An example could be: 30% deposit to be paid upon booking by cheque, transfer or PayPal. Balance to be paid six weeks before arrival, via the same method.

Damage deposit to be sent by cheque with the balance (or handed in on arrival in return for an up-to-date inventory) and returned or destroyed once the apartment has been checked after the holiday.

To round off, make sure you book weeks for yourself at the start of each year! You want to get enjoyment from owning a holiday home in Spain, so plan ahead.

Jana Korpova is Head of Business Development at Smart Currency Exchange, a leading FCA-authorised currency transfer firm which specialises in helping overseas homeowners and expats send money between their UK and foreign currency accounts, offering better exchange rates than banks and a secure, fast service. www.smartcurrencyexchange.com, +(44) 207 898 0541

www.canarianweekly.com 9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

TV

21 CW

Guide

The Eurovision Song Contest 2014

Don't Miss...

Saturday 10th May, BBC1, 20.00 Graham Norton commentates for BBC One and BBC One HD and Ken Bruce commentates for BBC Radio 2, as 26 countries compete to become the winners of the 59th Eurovision Song Contest.

Molly will be flying the flag for the United Kingdom with her anthemic self-penned song Children Of The Universe, as the final of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest gets underway in Copenhagen, Denmark, the country who won Eurovision for the third time in 2013 with Emilie De Forest’s Only Teardrops.

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www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Friday 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .......................Fake Britain 10:00........... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...............Don’t Get Done, Get Dom

Friday

Frid

06:10............ First Time on the Front Line

06:00 ....................................Good Morning Britain

06:40 ...........Countryside 999

08:30.............................. Lorraine

07:25 ..........The Great Interior Design Challenge

09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:25 .........Mary Berry Cooks

10:30.................... This Morning

11:30..................... First Time on the Front Line

08:55 ................. F1: Grand Prix Practice

11:25............................ ITV News

12:00 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:35 ........... The Travel Show

13:00 ............BBC News at One

11:00 ........................BBC News

12:30.................. Loose Women

13:45 .............................. Doctors

11:30 ...........BBC World News

14:15 ............................. The Link

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

15:00 ............................Escape to the Country

13:00................. F1: Grand Prix Practice

15:45 ................. Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

14:35 ................... The Pallisers

16:30 ................................ Flog It! 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 19:00........... The One Show 19:30 .... A Question of Sport 20:00 ................ EastEnders 20:30 ................MasterChef 21:00 .................. Have I Got News for You

15:30 .........Life in Cold Blood

16:00....................... Ejector Seat 17:00 ..............................The Paul O’Grady Show

17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow

19:30 ..... Coronation Street

18:00................. Eggheads 18:30 ............Escape to the Continent 19:30 .............Great British Menu 20:00..........The Minster

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22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten

21:00 ..........Natural World

22:35 ............... The Graham Norton Show

22:00....The Trip to Italy

The Minster

15:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal

18:00...... ITV News London

20:30 .... Gardeners’ World

23:55... EastEnders Omnibus

14:00 ................................Jo Frost Family Matters

16:30 ............ The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

21:30 ........... Outnumbered

23:20 ...........Bad Education

11:30.................... This Morning

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22:30............... Newsnight

23:05............... Later... with Jools Holland

19:00 ................ Emmerdale 20:00 .................... Weekend Escapes with Warwick Davis 20:30 ..... Coronation Street 21:00 .......................... Lewis 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30 ............ Party Election Broadcast by an Independence From Europe 22:35................. GoldenEye

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BBC2, 20.00 An exclusive look behind the scenes at York Minster is the focus of this new three-part documentary series.

A small team from the BBC filmed at the Minster most of last year, capturing the unsung heroes whose work ensures one of Britain’s great historic buildings is kept open and vibrant for all to enjoy.

Executive producer Nicola Addyman says: “This documentary series goes right to the heart of York Minster during a year when it is in the middle of a huge restoration project and follows the people that make it tick, from the specialist stonemasons and glaziers to the choristers and choirmasters of the York Minster Choir as well as the vergers and the officers of the Minster’s own police force.

“This will be a hugely enjoyable series and will help people realise the massive amount of work - and love - that goes on behind the scenes to keep such a wonderful building alive for the whole country, if not the world, to enjoy.”

In the first episode we meet Superintendent of Works, Rebecca Thompson, whose job it is to help guide the Minster’s crack team of stone carvers and masons through one of their biggest projects of the decade.

Head verger Alex Carberry is faced with climbing his own personal Everest which involves draping a huge white cloth over a massive wooden crucifix suspended 40 feet above the Minster floor in preparation for Easter.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

day

Friday

06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:10 ............ According to Jim 07:35 ............... King of Queens 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00... Undercover Boss USA 10:55 ...... Come Dine with Me 11:55.............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:00...... Come Dine with Me 13:30 ........... Channel 4 Racing 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ...............................Draw it!

17:00 ....................Four in a Bed 17:30 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 19:35 .... Unreported World 20:00 .........Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 21:00............Gogglebox CWce ch oi 22:00 ................... Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:05.................. Rude Tube

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........ Football’s Next Star

Friday

9th

May

06:00........................ Emmerdale

06:10 ...................Total Wipeout

06:00 ........................... Switched

08:45........Bananas in Pyjamas

06:25 ........................Emmerdale

06:25 ..................................90210

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:00 ........................MasterChef Australia

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

08:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

08:00........................... Charmed

11:40 .........Police Interceptors

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

08:30.......... Beverly Hills Pawn

09:00............. Made in Chelsea

09:00 ................................The Bill

10:00............................. New Girl

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

10:00 ................................The Bill

10:30 ................Happy Endings

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

11:00 ..........Haunted Collector

11:00........................... Charmed

12:00........................... Babylon 5

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

13:00 ................... Bondi Rescue

12:00............................... Rules of Engagement

13:30 ................... Bondi Rescue

12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks

13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed!

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

13:00...How I Met Your Mother

14:00 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

15:00 ....................... Cops Uncut

15:00 ... Rules of Engagement

15:00 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

15:30 ....................... Cops Uncut

16:00 .............................New Girl

17:00........................... Babylon 5

16:30................ Happy Endings

12:40 ................................ Behind Closed Doors 13:40 .........5 News Lunchtime 13:45...................... Neighbours 14:15 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:15 ............. Mystery Woman: Sing Me a Murder 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ............ Freaky Eaters 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 18:55............ Party Election Broadcast

12:30........................ Emmerdale

17:10 .............................. The Real Housewives of Miami

18:00 .............Bondi Rescue 18:30 .............Bondi Rescue

07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty

14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory

17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory

18:00............... Dinner Date

19:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 19:30 .... Beverly Hills Pawn

20:00 ......Ice Road Truckers

19:00 ......................... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ....................... Believe

19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother

21:00 ........................... NCIS

20:00... Two and a Half Men

21:00 ................. Perception

20:30 ...The Big Bang Theory

22:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

21:00 .............American Pie: The Reunion

22:00 ...................... Britain’s Bravest Cops

21:00 ...................Predators

22:55 .............. Take Me Out

23:00................ Traffic Cops

23:50...Friday Night Dinner

06:00 .............Motorway Patrol

07:10 .............................Top Gear

06:00............. Thirtysomething

07:00 ......... Last Man Standing

06:30 .............Motorway Patrol

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans

08:00 ................ Modern Family

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00........................... Futurama

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00 ....... The World of Stupid Criminals

10:00.................... Hawaii Five-0

09:00 .................Inside Gatwick

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

12:00 ...........NCIS: Los Angeles

10:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

09:30 ....... The World of Stupid Criminals

14:00 .............. Emergency with Angela Griffin

11:00............ My Kitchen Rules

19:00............... Bloody Tales of the Tower

23:00 .......... The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

10:00 .......................Trawlermen 11:00 .............................Top Gear

15:00......... Last Man Standing

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

16:00........................... Futurama

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

17:00 ...................The Simpsons

15:00 ................Criminal Minds

17:30 ................ Modern Family

16:00 ............My Kitchen Rules

18:00.......... Modern Family

17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

18:30............ The Simpsons

18:00 ... Nothing to Declare

20:00.............. Star-Crossed

19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

21:00........... Modern Family

20:00 ................. CSI: Miami

21:30 ................A League of Their Own

21:00.............. The Blacklist

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

21:00 ...........................QI XL

22:00................ Intelligence

22:00 .............. Russell Kane

23:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:00.......... Criminal Minds

23:20 ............ Frank Skinner

12:00 .............................Top Gear 13:00....................... Traffic Cops 14:00....................... Trawlermen 15:00............................. Top Gear 16:00............................. Top Gear 17:00 ....................... Traffic Cops 18:00................ Trawlermen 19:00 ........................... Suits

09:00 ............... Without a Trace 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 12:00 ............... Without a Trace 13:00 ..................................House 14:00 ..................................House 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00......................... House 19:00 .........................House

19:00 .................. Hollyoaks

23:15......... 8 Out of 10 Cats

09:00 ......FL72: Championship Play Off 1st Leg 10:00 ............... SPFL Round-Up 10:30...........Football’s Greatest 11:00 ... Premier League Darts 14:00 ..........Football’s Greatest 14:30 ......FL72: Championship Play Off 1st Leg 15:30 ............................. Ringside 16:30........................... WWE Raw 18:30 ................The Fantasy Football Club

20:00................ Blue Bloods

19:30........................... FL72Championship Play-Off

21:00 .........Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

22:00 ................. Senna-Last Team Mate

23:25 ................... Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

23:00...................... Football 23:30 ................The Fantasy Football Club

23 CW

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Gogglebox Channel 4, 21:00

Some of Britain’s most opinionated viewers pass judgement on the week’s biggest and best TV programmes. Loveable Leon and June, posh tipplers Steph and Dom, hairdressers Christopher and Stephen, Brixton’s own Sandy and Sandra and other favourites share their opinions about what they’ve been watching during the week, alongside some new additions. Gogglebox captures the viewers’ instant reactions and fierce discussions, offering sharp, insightful, passionate and sometimes emotional critiques of the week’s popular and topical TV shows.

Narrated by Caroline Aherne.

The Trip to Italy, BBC2, 22:00

Comedy series following Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan as they journey around Italy to review six restaurants. Steve’s son Joe is set to meet up with the duo but to Rob’s dismay, this means that Sicilly is off the route.

Instead, Emma has organised a place for them go to on the island of Capri. Together with Joe and Emma, Steve and Rob get the ferry to Capri and entertain themselves at the restaurant with a round of James Bond impressions.

CW 24

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Saturday

Saturday

06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00.............. The Dark Mirror

06:00 ............................Dino Dan

10:00 ............................. Saturday Kitchen Live

07:25 ........ Great British Menu

06:10 ............................Dino Dan

07:55 ........ Great British Menu

11:30 .................Football Focus

08:25 ........ Great British Menu

06:25 ........................Matt Hatter Chronicles

12:10 ..........................BBC News

09:55 ...........................F1: Grand Prix Practice

06:50 ............................ Canimals 07:00 ............................ Canimals

11:05 .................................. Coast

07:05 ...................................Sooty

11:30 .................Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

07:20............... Digimon Fusion

12:15................. Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

08:00............... Adventure Time

13:00 .................Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

08:30 ............................Weekend

12:20 ................... F1: Grand Prix Qualifying 14:30 ....................Bargain Hunt 15:30 ................ Monkey Planet 16:30 ......................................Bolt Animated adventure. Bolt is the cute superhero dog star of a fictional TV show, who does not realise he is part of a TV show and believes his powers are real. When he mistakenly believes his human co-star is in danger, he embarks on a trek across America to save her life.

18:00 .................. BBC News 18:10 ............... BBC London News 18:20 ....................Pointless 19:10 .............. The National Lottery: In It to Win It Dale Winton presents the quiz show where five contestants compete in a general knowledge quiz show to win a lifechanging amount of money.

All five could share £100,000, or one lucky player could take home the lot. The show also features Gaby Roslin with the lottery draws live from the National Lottery, including Lotto and Thunderball.

Saturday Numbers for 10th May are: Bonus Ball

13:45.................... Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking 13:50 ..............Talking Pictures 14:25 ......................... From Here to Eternity 16:20 ..................... The Prisoner of Zenda 18:00 ........... Natural World 19:00 ....................... Flog It! 20:00 ................Dad’s Army 20:30 ....................A Culture Show Special A topical series featuring the best arts and culture stories of the week. In this Culture Show special, Alastair Sooke tracks down the women who were at the heart of the Pop Art scene but who have been consigned to the margins of history for decades. Whilst the narrative of the Pop scene now focuses on the likes of Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol and Tom Wesselman, back in the day Pop was far from a boy’s-only club. Female artists were tussling with sexuality, violence and consumer culture every bit as much as their male counterparts. They started out together, shared the same art dealers and were shown in the same exhibitions, but by the end of the sixties they had been almost erased from the Pop narrative. Alastair Sooke meets many of these forgotten female artists, discovering that many of them are still alive and working today, their art and their stories ripe for rediscovery.

07:45 .................... Horrid Henry 08:25 ............................ITV News 09:25 .........The Hungry Sailors 10:20 ......... Murder, She Wrote 11:20............................. ITV News and Weather 11:30 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:25 ............. Beethoven’s 2nd 14:05 ...............Peter Andre’s 60 Minute Makeover 15:05 ...................All Star Family Fortunes 16:05 .............Off Their Rockers 16:35 ....................Tipping Point 17:35 ........... ITV News London 17:45 .............................ITV News and Weather 18:00 .........................Let Me Entertain You Michael Underwood presents the series which invites ordinary members of the public to be the star of the show by submitting their most entertaining home videos or by visiting the show’s special Pop Pod as it travels around Britain. This show features a lip-synch showdown between a group of cheerleaders and a gang of farmers, the Pop Pod searches for Britain’s best Madonna, some groovy grandparents strut their stuff and members of the public show off their interpretations of Daft Punk’s Get Lucky and One Direction’s What Makes You Beautiful.

18:30 ............... You’ve Been Framed!

21:30 ........Generation War: Our Mothers, Our Fathers

19:00.... Britain’s Got Talent

23:25................... BBC News

23:05........ Generation War: Our Mothers, Our Fathers

21:00........................Prey

23:45 .................... Agnetha: Abba and After

23:45 ......... Telstar: The Joe Meek Story

22:50 .................... ITV News

20:00........ Eurovision Song Contest 2014

20:00 .......... Amazing Greys

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ch oi ce

22:00 ...........The Americans

23:05.....The Eiger Sanction

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Saturday

Saturday

06:05 ........................ The Hoobs

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:30 ............Transworld Sport

08:25............................. Angelina Ballerina

07:30 ...............................Mobil 1 08:00 ...........The Morning Line 09:00 ............Weekend Kitchen with Waitrose 10:00 .................................Frasier 10:30 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 11:05 ................................The Big Bang Theory 11:35 .....The Big Bang Theory 12:00 .................. The Simpsons 12:35 ............... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 13:30........... Channel 4 Racing 16:05 ...... Come Dine with Me 16:40 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:10....... Come Dine with Me 17:40 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:40 ........ Channel 4 News 19:05 ................The Day the Earth Stood Still 21:00....Man on a Ledge

CW

ch oi ce

23:00....... Beverly Hills Cop

06:00..................................... Glee 07:00..................................... Glee 08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............Sky Sports Game Changers 10:00 .......................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ........ Live Spanish F1 GP: Qualifying 14:35 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 15:35 ...........................Futurama 16:05 ................Modern Family 16:30 ................Modern Family 19:00................... Futurama 19:30............ The Simpsons 20:00.................. Storm City 21:00 .................Revolution 22:00....................... 24: Live Another Day

06:00........................ Emmerdale Omnibus

08:45...................... Rupert Bear

08:35 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:00 .......................... Tom Daley Goes Global

09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm

12:05 ................................Britain’s Got Talent

09:30 .......................... LazyTown 10:00................. Power Rangers Super Samurai 10:35 .................Power Rangers Megaforce 11:00 ............... Meerkat Manor 11:25 .......... The Dog Rescuers 11:55 .........Police Interceptors 12:55 ......................Bloody Tales of the Tower 13:55................ Submarine X-1 15:40.................... Torpedo Run 17:35 ............5 News Weekend

13:25 ....................... Britain’s Got More Talent

10th 06:15 ................................The Bill 07:00 ................................The Bill 08:00 ................................The Bill 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 12:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 13:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck

14:35 ....................... You’ve Been Framed!

14:00...................... Doctor Who

15:40 .................... Totally You’ve Been Framed!

Time-twisting adventure with Matt Smith. On Apalapucia, Amy becomes stuck in a quarantine facility with plague victims of an alien species. Starring: Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvill, Josie Taylor, Imelda Staunton, Stephen Bracken-Keogh

16:40....................... You’ve Been Framed!

17:10.............................Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones 20:00................ Britain’s Got More Talent

17:40 ....................Attack on the Iron Coast

21:00 ................You’ve Been Framed!

19:25 .................. The Battle of Britain

22:00 ...........Celebrity Juice 22:50 ..................... Viral Tap

22:00...... Live International Boxing

23:35 .......................Britain’s Got Talent

06:00 ....... Emergency Abroad 07:00 ....... Emergency Abroad 08:00 ................... Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 09:00 ................... Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 10:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model 11:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 12:00............ My Kitchen Rules 13:30............ My Kitchen Rules 14:30 ............My Kitchen Rules 15:30 ............My Kitchen Rules 16:30 ........Nothing to Declare 19:00........ CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 20:00................ Elementary 21:00.................... Hannibal 22:00 ..............The Blacklist 23:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

07:10..................... Driving Wars 08:00............................. Top Gear 09:00 .............................Top Gear 10:00 ..............Storage Hunters 10:30 ..............Storage Hunters 11:00 ....Rocket City Rednecks 12:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing 13:00 .............................Top Gear 14:00..............................Top Gear 15:00.............. Storage Hunters 15:30.............. Storage Hunters 16:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 .............................Top Gear 18:00 .................... Top Gear 19:00 ........Storage Hunters 20:00 ...........................QI XL 21:00........... Not Going Out 21:40........... Not Going Out 22:20........... Not Going Out 23:40........................... QI XL

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who

17:00................ Nature’s Babies 18:00.......... Nature’s Babies 19:00........... Cars, Cops and Criminals 20:00 ........... Cars, Cops and Criminals 21:00 ................ Traffic Cops 22:00............. Dracula 2000 23:55.......... Almost Human

May 06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25 ......................... Ugly Betty 07:10 .......... Make it or Break it 08:00 ......................... Ugly Betty 09:00 ........................... Charmed 10:00 .............Made in Chelsea 11:00.......... The Mindy Project 11:30................................Rules of Engagement 14:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 15:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 16:00 .............Made in Chelsea 17:00 ........................... Youngers 17:35.......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00 ...................How I Met Your Mother 18:30.The Big Bang Theory 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:00 ........... The Tomorrow People 21:00............. The Dilemma 23:15........................ The Big Bang Theory

06:00........ Devil’s Dinner Party

06:00................... Football Gold

07:00 ........... Visionaries: Inside the Creative Mind

06:15 ................... Football Gold

08:00.............................. Seinfeld

07:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview

08:30.............................. Seinfeld 09:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 10:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 11:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 12:00.................... Mankind: The Story of All of Us 14:00................... Urban Secrets 15:00....................... Blue Bloods 18:00.......... Without a Trace 19:00 ......... Without a Trace

06:30 ............... FL72 Highlights

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............. Game Changers 10:00....................... Soccer A.M. 12:00.................. FL72-League 1 Play-Off Live 14:30 ..................Championship Rugby Semi-Final 17:00 ..................FL72-League 1 Play-Off Live

20:00 ......................... Vegas

19:15 .......... FL72- League 2 Play-Off Live

21:00 ....................Mad Men

22:00 ..................... Football

22:00 ............ The Sopranos

22:30 ............ Football Gold

23:15......... Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

23:00 ........ FL 72 Highlights 23:30 ........ FL 72 Highlights

25 CW

W C ch o i ce Prey ITV1, 21:00

Second instalment of a three-part high-octane crime thriller about a man on the run, desperate to clear his name for the sake of his family. The extensive hunt for Marcus Farrow gains momentum when DI Susan Reinhardt receives a tipoff about his whereabouts. Then, just when Reinhardt thinks she has finally nailed him, he manages to escape once again.

Man on a Ledge Channel 4, 21:00

Sam Worthington, Jamie Bell and Elizabeth Banks star in Asger Leth’s crime thriller set high up in New York City. A man emerges from a window on the 21st-storey of a Manhattan hotel. He is Nick Cassidy and it’s quickly established that he’s an escaped convict who’s protesting his innocence at having been found guilty of stealing a rare diamond from tycoon David Englander.

While the inevitable crowds gather, troubled police negotiator Lydia Mercer is tasked with getting Cassidy off the ledge. But as events unfold, Mercer becomes convinced that there’s more to Cassidy’s stunt than is immediately apparent.

And she’s right: while everyone’s attention is craning skyward, Cassidy’s brother Joey and his assistant Angie are carrying out a rather more complex plan just across the street.

CW 26

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C ch o i ce

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Sunday Sunday Sun 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:05 ....... His Kind of Woman

06:00............................ Dino Dan

09:00 .......................The Andrew Marr Show

08:00 ....................... Countryfile

06:10 ............................Dino Dan

09:00 ........... Gardeners’ World

10:00 ..........The Big Questions

09:30 ......Beechgrove Garden

06:25 ........................Matt Hatter Chronicles

11:00 ................Sunday Politics

10:00 ............Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

06:50 ............................ Canimals 07:05 ...................................Sooty

11:30 ...... Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge

07:20 ...............Digimon Fusion

12:15 ................... MOTD2 Extra

08:00 .................. Big Time Rush

13:00 ..........An Ideal Husband

08:25............................ ITV News

14:30 ....................... Badminton Horse Trials

08:30............................ Weekend

12:15.................. F1: Grand Prix 15:15........................ Final Score

Perspectives ITV1, 22.00 Singer-songwriter Emeli Sandé made her admiration for the iconic Mexican painter Frida Kahlo perfectly clear four years ago, when she had a large tattoo of the artist’s face etched onto her forearm.

At the time Emeli had bravely just quit medical school to write her first album. She needed inspiration and saw Frida as a woman who had triumphed over adversity: ‘As an artist it’s the bravery that I wanted a piece of,’ says Emeli, ‘so I feel that her being on my arm is a constant reminder not to be afraid.’

That subsequent first album, Our Version of Events, won Emeli two Ivor Novello awards and a Brit award for Best British Album - and became the biggest selling record of 2012. Now, two years later, Emeli’s writing her second album - and she’s taking time out to re-connect with Frida on an even deeper level. She travels to Mexico for the very first time, to find out more about the artist whose tumultuous life made her not just one of the world’s most famous female painters but a global feminist icon too.

Arriving in Mexico City, Emeli visits the bustling and colourful La Ciudadela market, where ‘Frida kitsch’ is everywhere. The artist’s face is even on Mexican banknotes – a sure sign of the love Mexicans continue to feel for their fiery artistic heroine. Emeli too feels an empathy with the artist; both have the duality of mixed race backgrounds, with Emeli’s parents being English and Zambian and Frida’s German and Mexican.

One of Emeli’s big ambitions since she first discovered Frida Kahlo as a teenager has been to visit La Casa Azul, or Blue House, where Frida was born in 1907 and grew up. It was here that Frida battled the devastating effects of polio at the age of six, a disease that left her with a withered leg.

But worse physical challenges lay ahead for this clever young girl from a middle class family. At the age of eighteen she was involved in a horrific bus crash on her way to the finest school in Mexico, where she was a promising student, on track to study medicine like Emeli. In an instant Frida’s life changed irrevocably. Emeli visits the place where the teenager sustained multiple broken bones including fractures of the spine. Only after months in hospital did Frida return to the Blue House to recuperate, again spending months on end in her bed, often alone and in terrible pain.

It’s back at the Blue House that Emeli discovers how Frida turned despair into hope and learned to paint, making self-portraits using a mirror that had been erected above her bed. Emeli is deeply moved by the spirit of endurance that Frida obviously displayed. ‘I think most people under such circumstances would have closed themselves off from the world and become wrapped up in bitterness or sadness, despair’, says Emeli as she scrutinises one of Frida’s early portraits. ‘But she still wanted to create and communicate with the world and tell the world who she was.’

Frida went on to become a committed supporter of communism at a time of immense political upheaval. She also married Diego Rivera, Mexico’s best known artist and the man who encouraged her to keep painting, and was catapulted into a life surrounded by artists and writers. Emeli meets Rina Lazo, who knew Rivera well.

17:30.................. Points of View 17:45 ................Songs of Praise 18:30................... BBC News 19:00 ................ Countryfile 20:00 .....................Antiques Roadshow 21:00..... The Crimson Field Joan is hauled up on a charge of aiding the enemy and faces a possible lifetime in prison. She is desperate to protect Anton so tries to deflect the questions, even as Purbright arrives to drive them home harder. Meanwhile, the hospital is awash with the news of Joan’s treachery and Roland is directly in the firing line, accused of letting the rules slide and bringing the RAMC into disrepute. His position rests on a knife edge as old enemies close in. Elsewhere, Flora discovers Peter’s brother, Jimmy, on one of the wards and happily reunites the siblings, but when it becomes clear that Jimmy is too fragile for war Peter has a difficult decision to make. Joan’s actions send ripples through the hospital.

16:30..................Inspire: The CW Olympic Journey choice

07:45 .................... Horrid Henry

09:25 ..................... May the Best House Win 10:25 ............................Columbo 12:20............................. ITV News and Weather 12:30........ Big Star’s Little Star 13:35....................All Star Family Fortunes 14:20 ..........Britain’s Got Talent 15:20 ..... Let Me Entertain You

17:00 ................................Flog It!

15:50..... You’ve Been Framed!

18:00............. Escape to the Continent

16:20 ........ Midsomer Murders

19:00 ........... Australia with Simon Reeve

18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather

20:00.................... Top Gear

18:45............... Catchphrase

22:00 .................. BBC News

21:00...... Hidden Treasure: The Comedy Vault

19:30 .......Off Their Rockers

22:25 ...... Match of the Day

22:00...........................QI XL

23:55 ..............Reggie Yates’ Extreme South Africa

22:45 ...... A Beautiful Mind

22:00.........Perspectives

18:20 ...... ITV News London

20:00........................Vera

CW W C ch oi ce

ch oi ce

23:15....... Rugby Highlights

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

nday Sunday Sunday 11th May 06:15 ........... Avon Tyres British Championship

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:40 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

08:55 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

07:05.......................... How I Met Your Mother 07:30............. Everybody Loves Raymond 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 .................................Frasier 09:00................................. Frasier 09:30.................Sunday Brunch 12:35 .................... Secret Eaters 13:40 .....The Big Bang Theory

08:40 ...................... Rupert Bear

09:15........................ Jelly Jamm 09:30 .......................... LazyTown 10:00 .................................Access 10:05 .......... The Dog Rescuers 10:40................................Beware!

Cowboy Builders 11:40 .................The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 12:40 ................... Mrs Caldicot’s Cabbage War

14:10 .....The Big Bang Theory

14:50 .................The Canterville Ghost

14:40 .................. The Simpsons

16:40 .......................Pocahontas

15:10 .......................... Ever After

18:10 .......5 News Weekend

17:30 ...............Deal or No Deal

18:15.....Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

18:30........ Channel 4 News 19:00.............Posh Pawn

CW ch oi ce

20:00...For the Love of Cars

21:00 ......................... Fargo 22:05...Season of the Witch 23:55.............. Underworld: Evolution

20:00 ............The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 22:00 ......... The Bucket List 23:50........ The Woman with 40 Cats... And Other Pet Hoarders

06:00 .........................Beauty and the Geek 06:45 ................... The Hot Desk 06:55......................... Emmerdale Omnibus 09:55.............Coronation Street Omnibus 12:20 .... You’ve Been Framed!

12:55.................. The Iron Giant 14:40......................... Zookeeper

06:00 ......Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves of Fire

06:00 ........................... Switched

06:30 ......Robbie the Reindeer in Legend of the Lost Tribe

07:15 ......................... Ugly Betty

16:40 .........Britain’s Got Talent

10:00 .............. The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

12:30........................... Youngers

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

14:05 ............................ Revenge

12:00 ...................... Doctor Who 13:00 ...................... Doctor Who

15:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

14:00 ............Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

16:00..... The Big Bang Theory 16:30 .....The Big Bang Theory

16:00 ................ Nature’s Babies

17:00... The Tomorrow People

17:00................ Nature’s Babies

18:00 .................... Brooklyn Nine-Nine

17:45 ....................... Britain’s Got More Talent Stephen Mulhern hosts the hilarious companion show. As the fifth round of auditions gets under way, Stephen presents more exclusive extra audition footage and goes behind the scenes to uncover all the latest news, views and gossip from the judges, contestants and main show hosts Ant and Dec.

18:45 ................You’ve Been Framed!

19:15 ................... Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith 22:00..................... Viral Tap 22:50.......... License to Wed

07:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 08:00.................. Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 09:00 .............. The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 19:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain

06:25.......... Make it or Break it 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 09:30 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 10:00 .......Hollyoaks Omnibus 13:00 .............Made in Chelsea

18:30 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 19:00............................ Troy

20:00................ Traffic Cops

20:00...Crocodile Dundee II

21:00................ King Arthur

22:15..... The Inbetweeners

23:20....................... Believe

23:25 ...The Big Bang Theory

06:00............ Visionaries: Inside the Creative Mind

06:00................... Football Gold

07:00.............................. Seinfeld

07:00 .............................. Football

08:30..........Emergency Animal Rescue

08:00............................. Top Gear

08:00........................ Iconoclasts

07:30 ..............FL 72 Highlights

10:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

09:00......... Friday Night Lights

08:00 ..............FL 72 Highlights

10:00............... World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars

09:00......Sports Women Week

10:30...........Lizard Lick Towing

10:00........Star Trek: Enterprise

08:30 ..............FL 72 Highlights

09:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

11:00 ..............Storage Hunters

11:00 ............ WWE Experience

13:00 ...................Urban Secrets

10:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

11:30 ..............Storage Hunters

09:00 ................................ Sunday Supplement

12:00 ......................... Road Wars

12:00 ...............The Road to Rio

13:00 ...........................Futurama

11:00.................. America’s Next Top Model

14:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

13:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods

13:30........................... Futurama

12:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

13:30 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

17:00 ............... Without a Trace

14:00 ................Modern Family

16:00 ........Nothing to Declare

17:00 .............................Top Gear

18:00 ......... Without a Trace

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

16:30 ........Nothing to Declare

18:00..................... Top Gear

19:00.......... Without a Trace

17:30 .................. The Simpsons

17:00........ Nothing to Declare

20:00 ......... The Guest Wing

19:00 .............. About a Boy

20:00............... Chicago Fire

19:00 ................................QI

21:00....... Game of Thrones

19:30 ............The Simpsons

21:00 ........ Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

19:40 ................................QI 20:20 ................................QI

22:00 ..................Entourage

21:00 ..........Mock the Week

22:35 ...............Enlightened

21:40 ..........Mock the Week

23:10....The Chris Rock Show

22:20 ..........Mock the Week

23:45 ................ Mind of the Married Man

06:00 .........The Hour of Power

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:00................... Radical Highs

07:00 .....................................Glee

07:00 ................Four Weddings

09:00................ Hugh Jackman: Becoming Wolverine

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:15 .......... India with Sanjeev Bhaskar

09:30 ...........................Futurama

20:30 ...................Futurama 21:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0 22:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00 .................Cop Squad

W C ch o i ce

22:00 ............. Trying Again 22:30 ...............The Moodys 23:05 ........ Grey’s Anatomy

23:40 ................................QI

Vera ITV1, 20.00

Teenagers Sassi (Charlotte Hope) and Louis Barnes (Aiden Nord) discover Shane Thurgood, dead from a single gunshot wound on the moors of the Northumberland countryside. An abandoned truck is found burnt out a mile away, containing the remains of a deer. D.S. Joe Ashworth (David Leon) is convinced this is a poacher’s war gone wrong but for D.C.I. Vera Stanhope (Brenda Blethyn), the truth is never that straightforward.

Delving into Shane’s life, Vera unearths a sad childhood in the country and a troubled existence in the city, scraping by as a failing novelist. After the recent death of his grandfather, Shane returned to sell his inheritance to wealthy landowner Will Peyton (Richard Dillane) and his wife Clara (Lisa Kay), but inexplicably pulled out at the last minute. Could his death be linked to a dispute over land? And why did he decide to stay in a place with so many painful memories?

The burnt truck is traced to Linus Campion (William Ash), the teenager’s father and a known poacher with a history of violence. He denies any knowledge of Shane Thurgood and points the finger at his former father-­‐in-­‐law, Allen Barnes (Clive Russell), head gamekeeper at the local Peyton Estate and protector of the deer who roam it’s land. Barnes knew Thurgood as a boy and boasts of giving him his first ‘kill, but his daughters Clara and Ness (Kellie Bright) seem less eager to admit a connection.

06:30 .............................. Football

10:30..............Goals on Sunday 11:55................. FL72- League 2 Play-Off Live 14:00......................... Ford Super Sunday 18:00........................ La Liga 20:00 ........................La Liga 22:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

27 CW

W C ch o i ce Inspire: The Olympic Journey BBC2, 16.30

Gabby Logan spends a day with 20-yearold British sprinting sensation Adam Gemili as he juggles university life with training to compete with the best on the track over 100m and 200m.

Lee McKenzie visits Euan Burton in Glasgow where the judo player is combining coaching with competing. And threetime world squash champion Nick Matthew gives Inspire an insight into his life on the road as he challenges to stay at the top of his sport.

Posh Pawn Channel 4, 19:00

When it comes to upmarket pawn, everyone has a story to tell. In this episode, Prestige Pawnbrokers boss James Constantinou faces a challenge sealing a deal with a pushy young entrepreneur who wants to borrow £100,000 against his Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder. Legendary film director Ken Russell’s ex-wife Hetty gets a shock when she tries to raise money by pawning her personal family photographs. A married couple get emotional as they look to pawn their pride and joy: a six-foot Kerry Darlington painting.

CW 28

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Monday Monday Mo 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .......................Fake Britain 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ..... Caught Red Handed 11:30 ..................... First Time on the Front Line 12:00 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ............................. The Link 15:00 .......................Countdown to Chelsea 15:45............................ Escape to the Country 16:30................................ Flog It! 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30......... The Storms That Shook the South West 20:00 ................ EastEnders 20:30..............Panorama

CW

ch oi ce

21:00................ DIY SOS The Big Build 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ............ Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 22:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:25 ............... The Graham Norton Show

W C ch o i ce

06:20 ...................Homes Under the Hammer 07:20 ......................Animal Park 07:50..................... First Time on the Front Line 08:20 .............Countryside 999 09:05 ........................ Permission Impossible: Britain’s Planners 10:05 .......Real Lives Reunited 10:35 ....................................Click 11:00 ......................... BBC News 12:00 ............The Daily Politics 13:00 .....................The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:15 .......... Life in Cold Blood 14:15 .....................The Pallisers 15:05 .................................. Coast 15:45...................... Great British Garden Revival 16:45 ............ Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 17:15...... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .................. Eggheads 18:30.....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 19:30....Great British Menu 20:00 ..................... Nature’s Weirdest Events 21:00...Copacabana Palace 22:00.......... Mock the Week 22:30................. Newsnight 23:20.............Party Election Broadcast 23:25......Blurred Lines: The New Battle of the Sexes

06:00 ....................................Good Morning Britain 08:30 .............................Lorraine 09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 ...................This Morning 11:25 ...........................ITV News 11:30 ...................This Morning 12:30 ................. Loose Women 13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00................................ Jo Frost Family Matters 15:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00...................... Ejector Seat 17:00 ..............................The Paul O’Grady Show 18:00..... ITV News London 19:00 ............... Emmerdale 19:30 .... Coronation Street 20:00 ..........................Gino’s Italian Escape 20:30 .... Coronation Street 21:00........................... Prey 22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30 ............ Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 22:35 ..................Benidorm 23:35 ........ Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey

QPR vs Wigan LIVE on Sky Sports Sky Sports 1, 19.30

QPR and Wigan lock horns with a place at Wembley and the Premier League at stake.

The key second leg is at Loftus Road where Harry Redknapps’ QPR have been in decent form recently.

They are unbeaten in their last seven home matches while Wigan are not the best travelers.

But Uwe Rosler’s team have timed their promotion charge to perfection and should have the match experience to see them through.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

onday Monday Monday 12th May 06:45 ............ According to Jim 07:10.....3rd Rock from the Sun 07:35 ............... King of Queens 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ...Undercover Boss USA 11:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 12:00 ..............Channel 4 News 12:05 ...... Come Dine with Me 13:40 .......... A Place in the Sun 14:40 ...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30................................Draw it!

17:00 ....................Four in a Bed 17:30 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00........The Simpsons CW ch oi ce 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 .............Britain’s Most Extreme Weather 21:00 .................. The Island with Bear Grylls 22:00 ..............Man v Weird: Superhuman Force 23:00 ................ Gogglebox

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00........................ Emmerdale

06:10 ...................Total Wipeout

07:50........... Noddy in Toyland

06:25 ...........Coronation Street

07:00 .....MasterChef Australia

08:00........................ Fifi and the Flowertots

06:55 ...........Coronation Street

08:00.......... Beverly Hills Pawn

08:15 ..........................Peppa Pig

07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

08:30.......... Beverly Hills Pawn

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:00 ................................The Bill

06:00........ Football’s Next Star

06:00 .............Motorway Patrol 07:00 ........Nothing to Declare 08:00 ..................RSPCA Animal Rescue 08:30 ..................RSPCA Animal Rescue 09:00 .................Inside Gatwick 10:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E 11:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................ Criminal Minds 16:00............ My Kitchen Rules 17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules 20:00 .........................Bones 21:00 ......... Criminal Minds 22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00.....................Hannibal

07:00......... Last Man Standing 08:00 ................Modern Family 09:00 ...........................Futurama 10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00 .........Last Man Standing 15:30 ..........Football’s Funniest Moments 16:00........................... Futurama 17:00................... The Simpsons 17:30................ Modern Family 18:00.......... Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 20:30.......... Modern Family 21:00............... About a Boy 21:30 ................Twin Towns 22:30 ................A League of Their Own 23:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles

08:35.................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45....... Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:30...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

11:40 .........Police Interceptors

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

12:40 .................... Benidorm ER

12:30 ........................Emmerdale

13:40 .........5 News Lunchtime

13:00 ...........Coronation Street

13:45 ...................... Neighbours

14:00 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ....................... Trial by Fire 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30...................... Neighbours 18:00............. Freaky Eaters 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 18:55 ...... Peb: Plaid Cymru 19:00..... Classic Car Rescue 20:00 ............ DIY Dummies 21:00.......The Greatest Ever War Movies

15:00 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

10:00 ................................The Bill 11:00.......... Haunted Collector 12:00............................Babylon 5 13:00 ................... Bondi Rescue 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 16:00................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5

17:10 .............................. The Real Housewives of Miami

18:00............. Bondi Rescue

18:00............... Dinner Date

20:00 ................King Arthur

19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed!

22:25 .............. Booze Patrol Australia

20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ...........................Mom 21:30 .................The 40 Year Old Virgin

19:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn

22:55 ........... Cars, Cops and Criminals

23:55... Two and a Half Men

23:55 .............. Booze Patrol Australia

07:10 .............................Top Gear

06:00 .............Thirtysomething

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

09:00 .....Man v Food Presents

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

10:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

12:00 .......................... Have I Got News for You

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

12:40 .......................................... QI

12:00 ............... Without a Trace

13:20 ................... Only Connect 14:00 .....Man v Food Presents 15:00 .............................Top Gear 17:00 .........Would I Lie to You? 17:40 .......................................... QI 18:20............. Only Connect

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 13:00 ..................................House 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00 .........................House

19:00 ......... The Road to Rio

20:00.......................... Friday Night Lights

20:00................ Traffic Cops

21:00 .......Game of Thrones

21:00.......... Mock the Week

22:00 .................Thronecast

21:40................................ QI

22:30 ........................ Weeds

22:20.....Would I Lie to You? 23:00.......... Mock the Week

23:05 ................... Curb Your Enthusiasm

23:40...........Mock the Week

23:50......................The Wire

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .............Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00..............................New Girl 16:30................ Happy Endings 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 20:30 ..............2 Broke Girls 21:00 .................... Revenge 22:00 ....... Made in Chelsea 23:00 ...............Party House

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .................Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 12:00 ..............FL 72 Highlights 13:00 .................Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 14:30........................ The Fantasy Football Club 15:00 .............. Game Changers 16:00 ................... Football Gold 16:30..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 17:30 ......Football-Rise as One 18:00 ........ Premier League: End of Season Special 19:30.....................FL 72 - W C Championship choice Play-Off Live 22:00 ....... Premier League End of Season Special 23:30.... Football-Rise as One

29 CW

W C ch o i ce Panorama BBC1, 20:30

From Jail to Jihad?

The current affairs programme investigates the radicalisation of some Muslims within the prison system. The Muslim prison population in England and Wales has doubled in the past ten years to nearly one in seven inmates. This rise is five times faster than the increase in the overall jail population. Evidence shows most Muslims are not radicalised, but the prison system is also home to the UK’s greatest concentration of Islamic terrorists and extremists.

Many more are converted or radicalised behind bars. Reporter Raphael Rowe follows one radical convert as he leaves prison, interviews some convicted terrorists and extremists about their experiences inside and asks if the authorities are doing enough to prevent the increasing threat of radical Islam inside prison.

The Simpsons Channel 4, 18:00

Animated comedy series following the hilarious adventures of a working class, semidysfunctional nuclear family in the misfit city of Springfield. When Itchy and Scratchy begins to drop in the ratings, I&S president Roger Meyers Jr. decides to analyse what’s wrong.

CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Tuesday

Tuesday

06:20 ...................Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ....................................Good Morning Britain

07:20 ..... Caught Red Handed

08:30.............................. Lorraine

11:00 ..... Caught Red Handed

07:50..................... First Time on the Front Line

11:30 ..................... First Time on the Front Line

08:20 ............. Countryside 999

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

09:05.................. Collectaholics

12:00 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:05 ....... Real Lives Reunited

13:00 ............BBC News at One

10:35 ...........................HARDtalk

13:30......... BBC London News

11:00 ..........................BBC News

13:45 .............................. Doctors

12:00............ The Daily Politics

14:15 ............................. The Link

13:00...........................The Super League Show

14:00.................................Jo Frost Family Matters

13:45............. One Man and his Campervan

15:00 .....Dickinson’s Real Deal

14:15 ..................... The Pallisers

17:00 ..............................The Paul O’Grady Show

06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15 .......................Fake Britain 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer

15:00 ..........Countdown to Chelsea Flower Show

CW

ch oi ce

15:45.................................Escape to the Country 16:30 ................................ Flog It!

15:05................................... Coast

17:15 ............................ Pointless

15:45 ......................Great British Garden Revival

18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00............The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00.................. Holby City 21:00............. Happy Valley 22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35............ Party Election Broadcast by the Conservative Party 22:40 ........................Monks

16:45 ............ Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 17:15...... Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .................. Eggheads 18:30.....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 19:30.... Great British Menu 20:00..... The Big Allotment Challenge 21:00..................Watermen: A Dirty Business

23:10...... Live at the Apollo

22:00........ Later Live... with Jools Holland

23:55 ............ Management

22:30..................Newsnight

10:30.................... This Morning 11:25 ............................ITV News 11:30.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30 ............................ITV News

16:00 .......................Ejector Seat

18:00 ...... ITV News London 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30 ........Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 22:10 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40 ............ Party Election Broadcast by the UK Independence Party 22:45 ....................The Cube 23:45 ................ Wild Britain with Ray Mears

W C ch o i ce

Countdown to Chelsea Flower Show BBC1, 15:00

More coverage from the Royal Hospital grounds as the RHS Chelsea Flower Show takes shape ahead of its launch. Four-time gold-winning garden designer Chris Beardshaw reports on proceedings and celebrates his favourite moments from an event widely regarded as the world’s best flower show.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Tuesday

Tuesday

13th

May

06:40 ............ According to Jim 07:05.....3rd Rock from the Sun 07:30 ............... King of Queens 07:55............. Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00................................. Frasier 10:00 ...Undercover Boss USA 11:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 12:00 ..............Channel 4 News 12:05...... Come Dine with Me 13:40.......... A Place in the Sun 14:40...................... Countdown 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ...............................Draw it!

17:00 ....................Four in a Bed 17:30...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 ............ Embarrassing Bodies 21:00 ...................Mr Drew’s School for Boys 22:00 ................ 16 Kids and Counting 22:55...................... Coppers

06:00..................... Children’s TV 08:45....... Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:40 .........Police Interceptors 12:40.......... Classic Car Rescue 13:40......... 5 News Lunchtime 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ................Wandering Eye 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ............ Freaky Eaters 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 18:55 ............ Party Election Broadcast 19:00 ....... Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun 20:00..................Ben Fogle’s Animal Clinic 21:00 ........................Behind Closed Doors 22:00 ............ The Mentalist 22:55 ..........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 23:50 ............Body of Proof

06:00 ........................Emmerdale 06:25 ...........Coronation Street 06:55 ...........Coronation Street 07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30.........................Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 14:00 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 15:00......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 .............................. The Real Housewives of Miami 18:00 ............... Dinner Date 19:00.......................... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00...The Vampire Diaries 22:00........... Celebrity Juice 22:50........... License to Wed

06:10 ...................Total Wipeout

06:00 ........................... Switched

07:00 .....MasterChef Australia

06:25 ..................................90210

08:00.......... Beverly Hills Pawn

07:10......................... Ugly Betty

08:30.......... Beverly Hills Pawn

08:00........................... Charmed

09:00 ................................The Bill

09:00 .............Made in Chelsea

10:00 ................................The Bill

10:00 .............................New Girl

11:00 ..........Haunted Collector

10:30 ................Happy Endings

12:00 ...........................Babylon 5

11:00 ........................... Charmed

13:00 ................... Bondi Rescue

12:00 ... Rules of Engagement

13:30 ................... Bondi Rescue

12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

13:00 .How I Met Your Mother

15:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

15:00... Rules of Engagement

16:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

16:30................ Happy Endings

06:00 ........Football’s Next Star

06:00 .............Motorway Patrol

07:10 .............................Top Gear

06:00............. Thirtysomething

07:00 .........Last Man Standing

06:30............. Motorway Patrol

08:00..............................Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

07:30 ..........Football’s Funniest Moments

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

09:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

07:30 ........Nothing to Declare

10:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00 ................Modern Family

09:00................ Without a Trace

08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

12:00......... Would I Lie to You?

08:30 ................Modern Family

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

08:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

12:40.......................................... QI

09:00 ...........................Futurama

11:00................... Stargate SG-1

09:00 .................Inside Gatwick

13:20................... Only Connect

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00................ Without a Trace

10:00 ........... Sun, Sea and A&E

14:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

13:00.................................. House

10:30 ............My Kitchen Rules

15:00............................. Top Gear

15:00 .............Stargate Atlantis

15:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00 .........Would I Lie to You?

16:00........................... Futurama

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

16:00 ............... Without a Trace

17:40 .......................................... QI

16:30........................... Futurama

14:00................ Criminal Minds

17:00 .......................Blue Bloods

18:20............. Only Connect

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

16:00 ............My Kitchen Rules

18:00......................... House

19:00 ........Storage Hunters

17:30 ................Modern Family

17:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

20:00.................. The British

18:00 ..........Modern Family

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

20:00 ..........Sin City Motors

18:30 ............The Simpsons

19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

20:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0

20:00 .........................Bones

22:00 .................24 Hours to Go Broke

21:00 .......... Alan Partridge: Welcome to the Places of My Life

21:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

21:00 ................Elementary

23:00.......... Mock the Week

22:00 .......................24: Live Another Day

22:00 ....................Hannibal

23:40 .......... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

23:00 .........................Bones

21:00 ...........................QI XL

17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00 .............Bondi Rescue 18:30............. Bondi Rescue 19:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 20:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 21:00.......... Almost Human 22:00 ............... Dangerman 23:00 .......... Almost Human

22:00...... Last Week Tonight with John Oliver 22:35.................. Entourage 23:05 ..........Bored to Death

14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 16:00 .............................New Girl 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks 19:30................... How I Met Your Mother 20:00.................... 17 Again 22:05 .........Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 23:00 ....................... The Big Bang Theory

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00...... FL72-Championship Play-Off 10:00..... Premier League - End of Season Special 11:30 ................SPFL Round Up 12:00 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 13:00 ...... FL72-Championship Play-Off 14:00..... Premier League - End of Season Special 15:30 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 16:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 17:30 ......Football-Rise as One 18:00.......... SPFL Round Up 18:30...... Revista de la Liga 19:30 .........FL 72 - League 1 Play-Off Live 22:00..Football-Rise as One

31 CW

W C ch o i ce Watermen: A Dirty Business BBC2, 21:00

Series focusing on the men and women who take our calls, come to unblock the drains and keep the sewage flowing. From a collapsed sewer under a lucrative holiday home in Blackpool, to a rain soaked team in Preston, this episode sees the watermen dive underground and under water as they do all they can to prevent upheaval for customers, come rain or come shine.

Residents in Manchester face a year of noise and chaos as storm tanks are put in place to deal with excess waste caused by heavy rain, and despite three months’ worth of notice and a chance to voice concerns ahead of the work starting, locals are less than pleased when the work eventually starts. Whilst a team in South East Manchester are tackling 30,000 litres of concrete that’s been poured down a sewer, a specialist diving team face a technical job at a reservoir as well as a stomach churning waste water task. It’s not a job for the faint-hearted.

CW 32

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C ch o i ce

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Wednesday 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15 .......................Fake Britain 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ....................... Caught Red Handed 11:30 ..................... First Time on the Front Line 12:00 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ............................. The Link

Billy Connolly’s Big Send Off ITV1, 21.00 Death has always been a subject of interest to comedian and actor Billy Connolly and across this two-part series, he looks it squarely in the face.

Visiting his home town of Glasgow as well as different parts of the USA, Billy aims to get an insight into the rich variety of attitudes, belief systems, rituals and customs relating to death that are woven into different cultures and communities.

In his trademark curious, humorous and candid manner Billy examines the ‘death industry’, and how and where we lay our loved ones to rest, as he tackles a subject considered by many to be the last taboo. Along the way, Billy shares his own thoughts on death, what he hopes will happen at his own funeral and how he would like to be remembered.

Billy‘s quest brings him into the company of people from diverse backgrounds. Learning what death means to different communities, he immerses himself in a range of experiences, witnessing a voodoo ceremony, visiting a drive-through funeral parlour, meeting a dying man and talking frankly about death with his pal Eric Idle.

In the final programme in the series Billy returns to his hometown of Glasgow, meets a dying man and considers how he would he like to be remembered when he passes on. He also recounts his own experiences of bereavement including the death of The Who’s Keith Moon.

First, Billy considers the end of life by returning to ‘where it all began’ for him, his hometown of Glasgow. Here he visits the Necropolis Cemetery, a Victorian burial ground full of striking gravestones and grand monuments to the dead. Billy tells the programme that in olden times a wake would last three days, which was partly to ensure the dead were definitely dead.

Billy reflects on getting older, and confesses that although he doesn’t feel close to death, he is beginning to feel his age.

He says: “It’s a strange thing getting old, it’s a pain in the arse. No not quite, it’s a pain in the shoulder most of the time. Although the arse does have its moments.”

But death does not just happen to old people and Billy recounts his shock at hearing that Keith Moon had died aged 32. The pair met on a night out in London and immediately bonded.

Billy recalls: “He (Keith Moon) was being very funny and chatting away and I thought ‘god what a nice guy, what a good new friend to have’. I got up in the morning and flew to Australia. I got to my hotel room and I put the television on and he was dead. I was absolutely broken hearted. I only knew him for a couple of hours but I was devastated I was really looking forward to having him as a friend.”

Billy also confronts the question of what happens to us when we die and looks into the option of donating your body to medical science. He travels to the Anatomy Laboratory in the University of California where he visits a room containing 40 cadavers. Over the course of a year medical students will dissect each corpse gaining invaluable experience into the workings of the human body. Although Billy calls it a ‘selfless’ way to go and a ‘truly noble death’, he confesses: “I’m still not sure if body donation is for me, I don’t want people looking at my bits on parade even if I am dead.”

Finally Billy gets a personal insight into death. He meets artist Richard Wood who has chronic ulcerative colitis and has just a short time left to live. Richard has embraced dying and has forgiven himself for his former sins, which include being an armed robber. He plans to die in his bed with a smile on his face.

Billy says: “I feel so enriched by his company he’s completely different to what I’d imagined. He’s ready to go, it’s a lovely lovely thing to see.”

Billy also reflects on how he would like to be remembered when he eventually dies.

Billy says: “A good laugh. Here lies Billy Connolly, a good laugh. Instead of having a stone somewhere to commemorate my life I would rather have it made into a table on an island on Loch Lomond for fisher guys to have their tea at, to put their cup on.”

15:00........................Countdown to Chelsea 15:45............................ Escape to the Country 16:30................................ Flog It! 17:15............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 19:00........... The One Show 20:00...................Watchdog 21:00 ................MasterChef 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35 ............ Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 22:40................. A Question of Sport 23:10.................. Room 101 23:50 .................. Dragonfly

06:15 ................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:15 ... Caught Red Handed 07:45 ............First Time on the Front Line 08:15 ...........Countryside 999 09:00 ....Antiques Roadshow 10:00....................... Bang Goes the Theory 10:30 .......................... See Hear 11:00........................ BBC News 11:30 .......... The Daily Politics 13:00 ............. The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:15......... Life in Cold Blood 14:15 ................... The Pallisers 15:05 .................................Coast 15:45 .................... Great British Garden Revival 16:45 ...........Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 17:15 ....Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .................Eggheads 18:30....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 19:30.....Great British Menu 20:00..........Under Offer: CW Estate Agents choice on the Job 21:00 ........................ Coast 21:10 ........Coast Australia 22:00 .................. Episodes 22:30 ............... Newsnight

Wednes 06:00 ....................................Good Morning Britain 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .................... This Morning 11:25 ............................ITV News 11:30.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News 14:00 ................................Jo Frost Family Matters 15:00 .....Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 .......................Ejector Seat 17:00.............................. The Paul O’Grady Show 18:00...... ITV News London 18:25............ Party Election Broadcast by the Green Party 18:30.................... ITV News 19:00................ Emmerdale 19:30..... Coronation Street 20:00................Big Star’s CW Little Star choice 21:00.....Billy Connolly’s W C Big Send Off choice 22:00 ......... ITV News at Ten 22:30............. Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 22:35................... Tomorrow Never Dies

W C ch o i ce

Big Star’s Little Star ITV1, 20.00 Stephen Mulhern presents a brand new series of Big Star’s Little Star.

Three well-loved celebrities share the stage with some brand new co-stars: their own children. Over the course of the show their private lives become a little more public, with the help of their little stars.

As well as risking embarrassment on national TV they’re playing for charity, all hoping to get their hands on a possible jackpot of £15,000.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

sday

Wednesday

14th

06:40 ............ According to Jim

06:00..................... Childrens’ TV

06:00 ...........................Emmerdale

06:15................... Total Wipeout

07:05 ...................3rd Rock from the Sun

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

06:30 ........................... Britain’s Got More Talent

07:00 .....MasterChef Australia

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

07:30............... King of Queens

11:40 .........Police Interceptors

07:25........ You’ve Been Framed!

07:55 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

08:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

12:40 ............. Beware! Cowboy Builders

07:45 .................. The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:00.................................The Bill

09:00................................. Frasier

13:40 .........5 News Lunchtime

08:30...........................Dinner Date

09:55... Undercover Boss USA

13:45...................... Neighbours

10:55 ...... Come Dine with Me

14:15.................................... NCIS

09:30 ........The Real Housewives of Orange County

11:55 ..............Channel 4 News

15:15 ......Flirting with Danger

12:00....... Come Dine with Me

17:00 .......................5 News at 5

13:30........... Channel 4 Racing

17:30...................... Neighbours

15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal

18:00............. Freaky Eaters

16:30 ...............................Draw it!

18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight

17:00.................... Four in a Bed

18:55 ............ Party Election Broadcast

17:30...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News

19:00........... The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

11:30 ..................... The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30........................... Emmerdale 13:00........................... Britain’s Got More Talent 14:00 ..................... The Millionaire Matchmaker 15:00 .... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 ........The Real Housewives of Miami 18:00 ..................Dinner Date

21:00... 24 Hours in A and E

20:00 ....... Lockerbie: Terror at 31,000 Feet: Minute by Minute

22:00 ......................... Derek

21:00 ........................... NCIS

21:00... Through the Keyhole

22:35.......... Cardinal Burns

22:00 .........................Castle

23:05 ................... Alan Carr: Chatty Man

23:50 ..........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

22:00................ American Pie: The Reunion

06:00....... Don’t Stop Me Now

06:00 .............Motorway Patrol

07:00 .............Stargate Atlantis

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00 ................Modern Family

08:00.. RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:30 ................Modern Family

09:00................. Inside Gatwick

09:00........................... Futurama

10:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

09:30........................... Futurama

11:00............ My Kitchen Rules

10:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

20:00 .............The Supervet

11:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00 .............Stargate Atlantis 16:00 ...........................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30.................Modern Family 18:00 ..........Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 21:00 .......................24: Live Another Day 22:00 ................. Storm City 23:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles

13:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00................ Criminal Minds 16:00.............My Kitchen Rules 17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00....... My Kitchen Rules 20:00 .............. Chicago Fire 21:00 .........................Bones 22:00 ........ Grey’s Anatomy 23:00.............. Trying Again 23:30 ...............The Moodys

19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 .....Two and a Half Men

23:55......Two and a Half Men

07:10............................. Top Gear 09:00 ..............Storage Hunters 10:00 ................ Sin City Motors 11:00..............................Top Gear 12:00 .........Would I Lie to You? 12:40 .......................................... QI 13:20 ................... Only Connect 14:00 ..............Storage Hunters 15:00 ................ Sin City Motors 16:00 .............................Top Gear 17:00 .........Would I Lie to You? 17:40 .......................................... QI 18:20 .............Only Connect 19:00................ Traffic Cops 20:00..... Lizard Lick Towing 21:00 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00 .................. Room 101 22:40...24 Hours to Go Broke 23:40.......... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

08:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

10:00 ................................The Bill 11:00 ..........Haunted Collector 12:00 ...........................Babylon 5 13:00................... Bondi Rescue 13:30................... Bondi Rescue 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 16:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00............. Bondi Rescue 18:30 .............Bondi Rescue 19:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 20:00 .......... Almost Human 21:00 ........................ Grimm 22:00 ....................... Believe 23:00 ................ Beauty and the Beast

06:00 .............Thirtysomething 07:00 .......................Blue Bloods 08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 12:00 ............... Without a Trace 13:00 ..................................House 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00....................... Blue Bloods 18:00......................... House 19:00......................... House 20:00 .................... God Save the Queens 21:00 ...... Alan Partridge on Open Books with Martin Bryce 22:00.....................Mad Men 23:00....... Game of Thrones

May 06:00........................... Switched 06:25.................................. 90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .............Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00... Rules of Engagement 12:30.......................... Hollyoaks 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30................ Happy Endings 17:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ................... Youngers 20:00................... How I Met Your Mother 20:30....The Big Bang Theory 21:00............ The Tomorrow People 22:00.................. Rude Tube

06:00...................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00................... Fl72:League 1 Play-Off 2nd Leg 10:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 11:00 ............ Revista de la Liga 12:00 ................Premier League 100 Club 13:00................... Fl72:League 1 Play-Off 2nd Leg 14:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 15:00 ............ Revista de la Liga 16:00........................ The Fantasy Football Club 16:30.............. Barclays Premier League Review 17:30...... Football-Rise as One 18:00 ................ Boots ‘n’ All 19:00 ............ Football Gold 19:30 ............... Elite League Speedway

33 CW

W C ch o i ce

Under Offer: Estate Agents on the Job BBC2, 20:00

Series following the highs and lows of life for estate agents. It is the end of a demanding year for the estate agents. In Exeter, Lewis is running out of time to find eager buyer Julia a house for her son’s 18th birthday and is under pressure to beat the other 33 branches for the much coveted ‘Office of the Year’ award. But standing in his way is serial winner, experienced estate agent Katherine, who scooped the prize last time round.

In Spennymoor, County Durham, a unique property and an attractive price tag catch the eye of a curious out-of-town buyer and agent Lynne sets her sights on a new car and much needed office makeover. In Mayfair, estate agent to the super rich, Gary, is on the hunt for new business, whilst Birmingham’s Dave Simms looks to the future in the shape of new builds with a twist to suit his discerning clientele.

CW 34

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Thursday Thursday 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15 .......................Fake Britain 10:00................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ....................... Caught Red Handed 11:30..................... First Time on the Front Line 12:00.................... Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ............................. The Link 15:00....................... Countdown to Chelsea 15:45 ............................Escape to the Country 16:30................................ Flog It! 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00................... BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00 ........Food Inspectors 21:00 ................MasterChef 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35 ...........Question Time

W C ch o i ce

23:35 .................. This Week

06:20 ...................Homes Under the Hammer 07:20 .... Caught Red Handed 07:50 .....................First Time on the Front Line 08:20 ............Countryside 999 09:05 ..................Mind the Gap: London v The Rest 10:05 ...........Gardeners’ World 10:35.......................... HARDtalk 11:00......................... BBC News 12:00............ The Daily Politics 13:00........ Instant Restaurant 13:45 ............ One Man and his Campervan 14:15 .................... The Pallisers 15:05 ..................................Coast 15:45 ......................Great British Garden Revival 16:45............ Raymond Blanc’s Kitchen Secrets 17:15 .....Antiques Roadshow 18:00 ..................Eggheads 18:30 ....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 19:30... Great British Menu 20:00..... The Big Allotment Challenge 21:00 ............Thalidomide The Fifty Year Fight 22:00 .......... The Best of the Sarah Millican Television Programme 22:30 ................ Newsnight

06:00... Good Morning Britain 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News 11:30 .................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00................................ Jo Frost Family Matters 15:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00........................Ejector Seat 17:00 ..............................The Paul O’Grady Show 18:00 ...... ITV News London 18:25 ............ Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 18:30 .................... ITV News 19:00................ Emmerdale 19:30 ...................... Tonight 20:00 ................ Emmerdale 20:30 ...... Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs 21:00..............Wanted: A W C Family of My Own choice 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35 .......... Billy Connolly’s Big Send Off 23:35 ........ The Late Debate

Tom Daley Goes Global ITV2, 21.00 It’s the final week of Tom’s global adventure, and he and Sophie are ending their whistle-stop world tour in Morocco, where they will endeavour to climb 600ft up a cliff and rappel into a gorge.

They shop for souvenirs in the bustling markets of Marrakech and get treated to a Hammam body scrub, but a meal of animal brains and eyes are also on the itinerary…if they can stomach it. They travel through Morocco’s epic landscape on the Tizi N’Tichka pass, and brave a night in the legendary Sahara desert where Tom faces humps and more than a few bumps with a mischievous camel.

Within touching distance of home their final challenge is climbing the Todra Gorge - but its rock hard, and even Olympian Tom is tested to the limit.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Thursday Thursday 15th May 06:45 ............ According to Jim 07:10.. 3rd Rock from the Sun 07:35............... King of Queens 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00................................. Frasier 09:25 .................................Frasier 09:55 ...Undercover Boss USA 10:55 ...... Come Dine with Me 11:55 ..............Channel 4 News 12:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 13:30 ........... Channel 4 Racing 15:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 16:30 ...............................Draw it!

17:00 ....................Four in a Bed 17:30...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 .................Posh Pawn 21:00.......Heston’s Great CW British Food choice 22:00....... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 23:00 .......... The Island with Bear Grylls

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:15................... Total Wipeout

23:55 ........................ Access

06:00........................ Emmerdale 06:25 ...........Coronation Street 06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed!

14:00 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 15:00.. The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 ..... The Real Housewives of Miami 18:00 ............... Dinner Date 19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 .....Two and a Half Men 21:00..............Tom Daley W C Goes Global choice 22:00 ...........Celebrity Juice 22:50 ..................... Viral Tap 23:35 ........................... Dads

06:00 .............Motorway Patrol

07:10............................. Top Gear

06:00............. Thirtysomething

07:00 .............Stargate Atlantis

07:00........ Nothing to Declare

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

08:00 ................Modern Family

08:00 ..................RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing 10:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 ...................Luton Airport

12:00 .........Would I Lie to You?

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

10:00........... Sun, Sea and A&E

12:40 .......................................... QI

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

11:00 ............My Kitchen Rules

13:20 ................... Only Connect

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

12:00............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00 ....................... Traffic Cops

12:00................ Without a Trace 13:00.................................. House

14:00................ Criminal Minds

15:00 .............................Top Gear 17:00 .........Would I Lie to You?

14:00...................................House

17:40 .......................................... QI

15:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise

06:00 .......Don’t Stop Me Now

08:30 ................Modern Family 09:00 ...........................Futurama 09:30 ...........................Futurama 10:00................... Hawaii Five-0 13:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00............. Stargate Atlantis 16:00........................... Futurama 16:30........................... Futurama 17:00.................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:00...........Modern Family

08:35 .................................. Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc 09:15.............. The Wright Stuff 11:40 .........Police Interceptors 12:40 ...................DIY Dummies 13:40 .........5 News Lunchtime 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15........................... Jane Doe: The Wrong Face 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00............. Freaky Eaters 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 18:55 ............ Party Election Broadcast 19:00 ... Police Interceptors 20:00 ...................... Beware!

Cowboy Builders 21:00 ........ Trauma Doctors 22:00 ..... Person of Interest

16:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 17:00 .. RSPCA Animal Rescue 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

18:20 .............Only Connect 19:00 ................Man v Food 20:00 ................ Traffic Cops

07:00........................ MasterChef Australia 08:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 08:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00.................................The Bill 11:00.......... Haunted Collector 12:00........................... Babylon 5 13:00 ................... Bondi Rescue 13:30 ................... Bondi Rescue 14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ............................ Sky Cops 16:00............................ Sky Cops 17:00........................... Babylon 5 18:00 .............Bondi Rescue 18:30 .............Bondi Rescue 19:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 19:30 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 20:00 ........................ Grimm 21:00 ....................... Believe 22:00 .......... Almost Human 23:00 ........... Cars, Cops and Criminals

16:00 ............... Without a Trace 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00 .........................House

18:30 ............The Simpsons

20:00 ...........America’s Next Top Model

20:00 .........................Arrow

21:00 ............. Trying Again

21:00 ............... Intelligence

22:00 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

21:30 ...............The Moodys

21:00 ............ Jews on Bikes

22:00................. Revolution

23:00 ..........Mock the Week

22:05.................. CSI: Miami

22:00 ............... Blue Bloods

23:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:05 .........................Bones

23:35 ................. Dave’s One Night Stand

W C ch o i ce

21:00 ........................... Suits

19:00 .........................House 20:00 ................. The British

23:00 ..................... Big Love

06:00........................... Switched 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10......................... Ugly Betty 08:00........................... Charmed 09:00............. Made in Chelsea 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ................Happy Endings 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 .............................. Hollyoaks 13:00 .. How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .............................New Girl 16:30 ................Happy Endings 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:00... The Big Bang Theory 20:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 21:00 ....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 21:30 ..............2 Broke Girls 22:00 ............. The IT Crowd

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 ................Premier League 100 Club 10:00 ............What’s the Story?

11:00 ................... Football Gold 12:00 .......................Elite League Speedway

35 CW

W C ch o i ce

Heston’s Great British Food Channel 4, 21:00

Heston seeks inspiration for a feast of British chocolate, aiming to bring all of the nation’s rich history of chocolate making together in one supersized chocolate bar. With help from leading chocolate makers, Heston crafts a homage to mint Aero, Mini Eggs, Flake, Milky Way, Twix and Caramel as part of the first ever Great Bar of Britain, which is unveiled at a feast served from a giant chocolate box called Heston Magic.

Heston looks back at the earliest chocolate bar, Fry’s Victorian Oxchocolate bar, and makes a ‘Moos bar’, which is a combination of beef nougat, shortbread biscuit and beef and Guinness caramel. He makes a Black Forest gateau hot chocolate and a chilli gin and chocolate water cocktail. He also makes a unique range of chocolates in a beautiful edible box.

14:00 ............What’s the Story?

15:00 ................... Football Gold 15:30 .......................Elite League Speedway 17:30 ......Football-Rise as One 18:00 .....................Ringside 19:00 ........Barclays Premier League World 19:30 ........................... FL72 22:00.... Football-Rise as One 22:30..................... Ringside 23:30........ Barclays Premier League World

Wanted: A Family of My Own ITV1, 21.00

In the fourth programme we meet nine-month-old baby Tom who is waiting to be adopted and couple Grant and Diane who are hoping to adopt after experiencing a tragic loss.

Baby Tom was just days old when he moved in with foster carers Sean and Danielle. Born with a genetic disorder, which affects his hearing, his condition means that doctors are uncertain how he will be affected in the future.

In order to help find adoptive parents for Tom, his social workers take his details to an adoption exchange day, held to show would-be adopters some of the children who need parents. One potential adopter Clair takes an interest in Tom. Clair says: “Straight away from seeing Tom’s information it just clicked I think and I thought this is definitely the one, this is going to be the best match for our family.”

Single mum Clair has three children. Her birth son Christian was born profoundly deaf. When he was eight, Clair adopted a girl who was also deaf and then a few years later she adopted another boy with hearing difficulties as well as other needs.

She said: “I’m from a big family so I thought it would really benefit Christian to have siblings and I wanted another child but I also thought he’d need not to feel different, so another child with similar needs to Christian.”

“My children have come with disabilities and it’s just a small part of that child, the personalities, it doesn’t define them.”

Tom’s family finder Jess, goes to meet Clair to see if she is the right person for Tom. Despite already adopting twice before, Clair will still need to go before a panel before she is approved to adopt again.

Edinburgh couple Grant and Diane are a year into the adoption process and are looking to adopt a young sibling group. The couple have been together twelve years after meeting through work and married six years ago.

CW 36

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Entertainment

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Take That - and this!

AN entertainer’s life can be very rewarding but, at the same time, it can be soul-destroying.

Sometimes it’s a thankless task, standing on stage every night in front of an unappreciative audience. But, is it the audience?

An entertainer cannot produce a “blinder” and “smash it” every night.

However, being consistent and turning up on time and ready is as important as what happens on stage.

There is only one chance to make a first impression. Most audiences are seeing a show for the first time when they decide which venue to spend their evening. Their judgement on an artiste begins as soon as that artiste enters the venue.

TONY KAY I’ve been waiting to see an entertainer for some time, and I finally got the chance last week.

The main reason for my enthusiasm about this artiste came after I noticed more and more com-

peres and bookers were talking on social networks about the professionalism and passion this particular performer displays.

About three months ago Taffy, the owner and compere at The Rum Pot in San Eugenio, wrote a brief statement on Facebook about Tony Kay and his Gary Barlow & Take That Show.

I respect Taff im-

mensely and he knows his onions - I can safely say he was bang on the money about this act.

IT was 10.45pm and Tony arrived at the venue looking every bit the entertainer. There was no way anyone would see him as anything else but the artiste billed for that evening.

He was dressed ready for stage, having just finished an earlier show, and was ready to go.

My first impression was that his attire could have been taken directly from Gary Barlow’s dressing room.

The compere had obviously seen Tony perform before because his enthusiasm during the introduction showed a huge amount of respect for the show.

After a short overture, Tony enters the stage from the back of the room walking through the audience as he sings the intro lines to his first song.

My eyes really did widen when he started singing. Immediately, the characteristics of Gary Barlow’s voice were heard. My first thought was: “Wow, a tribute act that actually sounds like the artiste.”

He’d won half the battle already and hooked the audience straight away. The next thing that struck me was his link after the first song. He was very confident and natural and, somehow, managed to capture Gary’s talking voice as well.

Gary Barlow was sometimes ridiculed for his dancing skills within Take That. Well, Tony picks up on that fact during the song Pray and does the full choreographed dance rou-

THE last two weeks have been fun in Fañabe. The kids are all back at school after an interesting Easter break, and now the two bars are filling up with party people.

Vinnie Love, compere at the First & Last fun pub, has had a good fortnight, with all the acts attracting plenty of people up for a laugh, who enjoy the nightly antics with Vinnie.

And Ye Olde Ocean has launched its new Midnight Cabaret format. Every fortnight on Wednesdays, the team present two shows. The usual 11pm spot stays the same - but at midnight, it’s comedy central!

Every fortnight, a different comedian will be on stage just after midnight, and this week it all started with the outrageous Billy Porter.

The whole evening was hosted by Ash Jolley, who built the night up and hosted like a boss.

Billy Porter is probably the biggest crowd-puller on the Island, and this week was no exception. By 10.30pm there were no seats left, and it remained so until after Billy had finished his show.

The next Comedy Cabaret night will be on 21st May, when Ye Olde Ocean presents Anthony Scott’s Billy Conolly Show.

Other comedians throughout the summer will include, Steve Salter and George King, and Andy Maughan’s Chubby Brown Show.

Ye Olde Ocean and The First & Last are geared up and ready for the summer.

You’ll find both bars on the beach-front promenade in Fañabe, and live entertainment begins from 9pm every night and continues till the early hours, with resident hosts Vinnie Love and yours truly.

tine performed by the boy band on the official video release.

Tony, however, can move a little better than Barlow, which is a good job really as this helps him pull off a dance break designed for five guys to be moving at the same time.

The audience are loving this guy by this time, and he would have to do something drastically wrong to lose their attention.

Just when you think there is no more to be pulled out of the proverbial bag, Tony then starts to involve the audience and puts together the rest of the members of Take That.

Four guys are selected from the audience and taught a basic dance routine which they then perform, much to the delight of the audience.

This kind of participation has always proved extremely popular in Tenerife. And if an artiste can involve the audience, he or she should do so as much as possi-

ble. After the guys had done their bit, Tony’s attention went to the girls - and his next song instigated the longest conga train I have seen since Black Lace were on Top Of The Pops.

As a tribute artiste, Tony Kaye is probably the best I have seen in Tenerife; not just because he talks, walks, sings, sounds and moves like Gary Barlow, but also the passion he exudes on stage.

If you want to put an audience in safe hands, then book Tony Kay. I have no doubt this show will feature in this year’s Tenerife Entertainment Awards. He has ticked all the boxes successfully, and everything I have heard about him since his arrival in Tenerife was displayed on stage.

Supremely impressed would be an understatement! Tony Kay is a thoroughbred entertainer and so humble about his talent.

I hope I get the chance to work on the same stage one day.

Anthony Scotts Billy Conolly show, appearing at Ye Olde Ocean on Wednesday 21st May

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Tenerife Loves Karaoke

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

37 CW

TLK, through the years

THE Tenerife Loves Karaoke heats enter double figures this week as the tour hits No.10 - and it’s back to where it all began, nearly four years ago.

Our first-ever TLK heat was staged in Churchill’s Bar in Los Cristianos. This venue has supported the competition from day one and tonight (Friday), the format returns.

Just four heats remain before the 6th June grand final at Showtime, Las Americas, and it promises to be really

interesting this year.

So far, only two guys are through to the final, Gary and Kofi-Lee. And with the final quarter of the heats underway, it is getting less likely that they will be joined by any other men.

This year’s 2014 TLK has been totally dominated by the girls, with just 10% of each heat comprising male entrants.

Those contestants already through, however, are in stark contrast to one another. Some are tourists, on holiday at the time of their heat, and the rest made up from residents who work in Tenerife.

Chloe Guy, who won

her place at Springer’s bar in Los Cristianos, wowed the judges with a neat arrangement of I Will Survive, which was released by Leah McFall after her appearance on The Voice, in which she achieved a runner-up place in the second series. At The Pub in Torviscas, 2013 grand finalist Laura Day tried out for her first heat of 2014.

Last year, Laura entered a record-breaking eight heats before gaining her place.

This year was very different, and so was her voice! Her confidence had increased tenfold and it was obvious she had been singing in the karaoke bars a lot

throughout the past year.

That same determination applied when Gary Thomson decided he wanted to give it another go this year.

It took him a few attempts, and he now has a collection of second and third-place trophies.

But the important one, the most special one of all, was the first place Gary gained at Palms Sports Bar, along with his ticket to the final.

This heat, hosted by Oasis Fm’s Roscoe, attracted the highest number of entrants on this year’s run, so the odds were stacked higher against each singer.

In most other heats, a singer’s odds were around 10-1. At this heat, though, Gary had to overcome odds of 161.

All the heat winners will be getting their act together over the next four weeks in preparation for Showtime, and organisers are looking forward to an exciting final. Also, a huge surprise will be soon announced.

After Churchill’s tonight, there are three more chances for you to enter. Next week, the tour pitches up at Clouseau’s bar in Palm Mar. It is always well-supported by locals and has never been anything but fun every year.

The week after that, it’s out of town again to the Amarilla Golf resort, where TLK sets up

at the Terrace Bar. And again, lots of local residents turn out to support their pals singing for a spot in the final.

The very last heat will

SONG TITLE It’s On Again The Man Feel Summer Clean Bandit & Sharna Bass Extraordinary

DJ Cassidy Callin all Hearts

Ed Sheeran Sing

Ellie Goulding Beating Heart

Elyar Fox A Billion Girls

Faul Changes

Foxes Let go for Tonight Haim If I Could change Your Mind

Indiana Solo Dancing

Jason Derulo Stupid Love

Jess Glynne Home

John Legend All Of Me

John Martin Anywhere for You

Josh Record For Your Love

Justin Timberlake Not a Bad Thing

Katy B Still

Kiesza Hideaway

Klaxons There is no Other Time

Lady Gaga G.U.Y.

Lily Allen Our Time

Lykke Li No Rest for the Wicked

Mr. Probz Waves

Passenger Scare Away the Dark

Pharrell Williams Marily Monroe

Prides The Seeds You Sow

Rita Ora I Will Never Let you Down

Saint Raymond Everything she Wants

Sam Smith Stay With Me

Shift K3Y Touch

Sigma Nobody To Love

Sub Focus Close

The Chainsmokers #Selfie

Tove Lo Stay High

ARTIST Alicia Keys Aloe Blacc Bombay Bicycle Club Calvin Harris

be held at Leonardos bar in central Las Americas, on 30th May. This bar is huge so the TLK bosses are expecting a busy night.

CW 38

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www.canarianweekly.com 9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Keep in touch cheaply!

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When Plan Zero International is exceeded, normal Plan Zero prices are applicable.

Másmóvil is all about transparency, without small print, fines or commitment clauses, so you may leave whenever you want!

You can even “park” your SIM card for up

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These, together with a polite customer service team who speak no fewer than six languages (English, German, Spanish, Scandinavian, Russian and Finnish), Make MÁSMÓVIL a firm favourite with expats.

Over 150,000 satisfied customers can’t be wrong, so find out more about the terms and conditions for Plan Zero InternationaL by phoning our toll-free number 1473 today, or visit www.masmovil. es to find your nearest Másmóvil distributor.

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Garden

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

39 CW

Fairy flower fuels fans galore!

SCAEVOLA, a fascinating, semitropical plant from Australia, has an offbeat charm - and with good reason.

When it flowers, it produces a colourful display of one-sided blooms, with all five purple/blue petals clustering in the lower half of the palethroated flower like a fan.

Hence, Scaevola (Aemula Cultivar) is known commonly as the Fairy Fan-Flower or Blue Wonder.

It is a relative newcomer in Canarian gardens, but has proved most successful as a basket and container annual over the years.

It thrives in warm sunny conditions in pots or as an edging plant in beds and borders. And it will also stand some shade.

It is a herbaceous, perennial, evergreen plant,

which can even tolerate drought periods, which is why it loves the Tenerife climate especially.

And that means it’s a must for those of you who don’t always remember to water your patios or gardens, especially as we are now approaching the summer months.

Another big benefit is that it grows easily, wherever you select.

And, wonders never cease, it is insect-resistant and disease-free.

The Fairy Fan-Flower can reach a height of 8-12ins, with a possible spread of 5ft, and its petals can be as big as 1½ inches across. Although predominantly blue/purple, you can also find it producing pink/white petals.

If you are planting in the garden, find an area with full sun exposure if possible, or partial shade otherwise, although this reduces the number of flowers.

Adding 2-3ins of organic

compost will enable the plant to flourish.

This flower looks appealing in a hanging basket as well because it spills over the sides.

It will also look good in a regular pot. But whichever you choose, make sure it has holes in the base to allow excess water to drain away.

But do cover the drainage holes with pebbles - or, surprise, surprise, even a coffee filter which helps the soil to remain in place and not get flushed away when you water.

Fill the pot to halfinch below the rim with a slightly acidic, welldraining soil, which you’ll find at your local garden centre.

Remove the Scaevola plant from its container and dig a hole in the soil wider than the rootball, but keeping the depth the same.

Insert the rootball and backfill with soil, gently firming it in place with

your hands. But don’t plant it any deeper than its original depth. When planting in the garden, space the plants 6-8ins apart.

Water the plants thoroughly. You can allow the soil in the garden to dry out slightly between each watering. But if

you’ve potted them, keep the soil evenly moist.

During the active growing season, feed them regularly with a fertiliser rich in nitrogen. Make sure the phosphorus level is low, and don’t use bone meal because too much phos-

phorus is toxic to the Scaevola. If your plants are in the garden and you want to save them, transplant them into a pot or basket.

But most of all, join its fans and enjoy this wonderful breath of colour in your garden, patio or verandah.

Jasmine is simply heaven-scent ARABIAN Jasmine (Jasmine Sambac) is an extremely fragrant, evergreen climber, or scrambling shrub.

If you’ve ever grown Jasmine in your garden, or have still got it, you’ll be aware of that wafted scent, which gets you every time, especially on a balmy evening.

There are several different cultivars, with the “Grand Duke of Tuscany’ being among the most popular.

It spreads up three metres high and just as wide, by sending out angular shoots which can be trimmed to create a shrub-like appearance.

It prefers moist, fertile soils and hates to be waterlogged. The best aspect is full sun, but part-shade produces good results and can offer some protection

from plants drying out in our hot summers.

Some people even use multiple plants to produce rambling hedges in larger gardens.

If possible, plant it

where you can appreciate the fragrance as you go about your day. It also does well in well-watered, mulched pots, so growing a plant on your patio or balcony could be

a pleasant option. The Grand Duke of Tuscany is lower growing and may reach two metres.

The leaves are ovate and a glossy dark-green and they may appear in

whorls or in opposite pairs.

The intensely-fragrant, white, waxy flowers resemble miniature gardenias and appear in clusters, although each flower is only about a centimetre in size.

The plant will flower throughout the year in consistently warm climates such as the Canaries, and especially Tenerife.

It has been cultivated for many centuries as an ornamental plant and for its scented flowers, which have health and culinary benefits - they can be used in teas, perfumes and oils.

The Arabian Jasmine’s flowers have anti-oxidant benefits as a result of the many active constituents.

There may also be an anti-inflammatory component, and the leaves are antiseptic - useful for wounds or acne when used as a poultice.

And both the leaves and flowers can be used in a sauna or steam bath as a tonic for easing headaches and clearing your senses.

Jasmine flowers have been used to flavour tea for many centuries by the Chinese.

It is generally consumed with or after meals as a digestive aid, and some people like to drink it after rich or fatty meals to help cleanse the blood. Others use it to freshen their breath after eating strong-tasting foods.

If you’d like a relaxing, rejuvenating tea, fill one-quarter of a cup with fresh leaves and flowers, and add to a cup of boiling water. Let it stand for five minutes and then strain off the bits and bobs. Drink warm or cold if you prefer.

Overall, it’s the perfect houseplant for your home and garden.

CW 40

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Health and Beauty

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Expectant mum’s diet may affect baby genes

By Val Sainsbury A MOTHER’S diet around the time of conception can influence her baby’s DNA permanently.

Animal experiments show that diet in pregnancy can switch genes on or off - but this is the first human evidence.

New research by a joint UK/US team followed women in rural Gambia, where seasonal climate leads to big differences in diet between rainy and dry periods.

Their finds reveal that it emphasises the need for a well-balanced diet before conception and in pregnancy.

Scientists followed 84 pregnant women, who conceived at the peak of the rainy season, and the same number who conceived at the peak of the dry season.

Nutrient levels were measured in blood samples taken from the women while the DNA of their babies was analysed between two and eight months after birth.

Lead scientist Dr Branwen Hennig, from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, said it was the first demonstration in humans that a mother’s

nutrition at the time of conception can change how her child’s genes will be interpreted for life.

She told BBC News: “Our results have shown that maternal nutrition pre-conception and in early pregnancy is important, and may have implications for health outcomes of the next generation.

“Women should have a well-balanced food

diet, prior to conception and during pregnancy.”

Experiments in mice show diet during pregnancy can have a lifelong impact on the genes of offspring.

For instance, the coat colour of a mouse is influenced by its mother’s diet. These are known as “epigenetic effects” (modifications to DNA that turn genes on and off).

One such modification involves attaching chemicals called methyl groups to DNA. Infants from rainyseason conceptions had consistently higher rates of methylation in all six genes studied, the researchers found.

These were linked to various levels of nutrients in the mother’s blood. But it is not yet known what the genes do, and what effect the

process might have.

Co-researcher Dr Rob Waterland, from Houston’s Baylor College of Medicine, said the findings, published in Nature Communications, proved in principle that a mother’s diet can have epigenetic effects.

He told BBC News that the research showed a mother’s nutrition “can leave permanent marks on her child’s genome on

all the cells of the body”.

Co-author Andrew Prentice, professor of international nutrition at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, added: “Our ultimate goal is to define an optimal diet for mothers-to-be that would prevent defects in the optimal diet for mothers-to-be that would prevent defects in the methylation process.”

Cancer war being won THE war against cancer has reached “tipping point”, and it is no longer an automatic death sentence.

Half of all newly-diagnosed patients are surviving for at least 10 years, and landmark research has discovered that many forms of the disease are now considered to be “chronic” conditions rather than fatal ones.

Huge strides in early diagnosis, more targeted treatments and better prevention mean many sufferers are no more at risk of dying

than the general population. Yet in the Seventies, just 25% of patients lived for as long as 10 years.

Dr Harpal Kumar, chief executive of Cancer Research UK, which announced the new findings for England and Wales, said: “It’s not very long ago that cancer used to be thought of as a death sentence.

“The reason this 50% figure is an important tipping point is that it’s now saying that half of all patients will survive at least 10 years after a diagnosis.

“For many, it will be very much longer than that, and I believe that

represents a change in the way we should be thinking about cancer.”

Currently, five-year survival is one of the main yardsticks used by clinicians and scientists when assessing cancer outcomes.

But Dr Kumar, who said the latest figures mean a more optimistic approach is justified, added: “It’s time now to shift the narrative, change the language we use and start thinking about 10-year survival.”

The research, which involved analysing data on more than seven million patients diagnosed with cancer since 1971, showed

spectacular improvements in survival for some cancers.

Rates of 10-year survival for testicular cancer have jumped from 69% to 98%, and for malignant skin cancer from 46% to 89%.

And women with breast cancer now have a 78% chance of surviving at least a decade, compared with 40% in 1971.

Similarly, the proportion of men living 10 years with prostate cancer has jumped from 25% to a staggering 80%.

However, the outlook still remains bleak for patients with the deadliest forms of cancer, such as those affecting

the lungs, oesophagus, pancreas and brain.

Fewer than 5% of people diagnosed with lung and pancreatic cancer can expect to live 10 years, and for oesophageal and brain cancers, decade-long survival was achieved by no more than 15% of sufferers.

And the UK lags behind comparable European neighbours when it comes to cancer survival, chiefly through GPs missing symptoms, late diagnosis and lesseffective treatments being offered.

Cancer Research UK plans to boost its funding from £350m to around £525m a year over the next five to

10 years in the hope of ensuring 75% of cancer patients diagnosed in 20 years survive at least a decade.

Professor Michel Coleman, head of Cancer Research UK’s Cancer Survival Group, said that, technically, patients were not being “cured” of cancer.

But when those who survived for 10 years were at no greater risk of death than the population at large, it would represent a ‘cure’.

He said that at that stage, cancer “becomes a chronic condition with which people are forced to live but not necessarily would expect to die from”.

www.canarianweekly.com

Health and Fashion

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

GWEN STEFANI’S OPI COLLECTION

By Stella from Robot

By Ruth Benson

I AM so excited about the OPI Gwen Stefani collection, which has really blown me away with its great variety of colours and textures.

SUMMER is just around the corner and it’s the time of year where we see some horrendous fashion styles.

It features everything, from cream to chrome, glossy to satin, plus glitter and studs to top it all off.

This diverse collection encourages nail art like no other. You can certainly expect to see a few of my creations in the coming days, but for now the swatches...

I was thrilled to find out that OPI would be doing a collaboration with Gwen Stefani, the music and fashion icon.

But what I love best is that Gwen is one of the original “nail girls”.

I remember watching No Doubt music videos and always admired her long, vampy nails, pink hair and fantastic red lips.

And this collection is such a beautiful representation of Gwen’s style.

It’s own-up time, if you haven’t guessed already: I have idolised Gwen Stefani throughout my entire life. No Doubt achieved mainstream success in 1995, when I was still in the single digits, but in my mind, she’s always been around, always perfect.

She’s never had to reinvent herself to stay current or “on-trend” because her unmistak-

Living on this fantastic Island, the summer just gets hotter and that’s when more clothes come off than stay on.

One of my pet hates is seeing men and women walking down the street in their swimwear. I’m okay with shorts and bikini top, but I absolutely hate seeing a man in Speedos!

I’m not a fan of them by the pool or beach,

able, personal style has always kept her look both timeless and way ahead of that of anyone else.

Gwen’s a rock star, a successful designer and an all-rounder. And this collection is a great mix of her “classic meets punk aesthetic”, with OPI’s top-shelf quality and innovative approach to finishes and textures.

The OPI Gwen Stefani Over and Over A-Gwen nail-art boxed set will

include: *Swarovski black crystals and silver *Gold and pewter studs in bar *Square, diamond and circle shapes for creating unique nail designs *It will also contain nail glue for easy application.

I can’t really say this collection is revolutionary, but each item is beautiful in its own way and I would definitely not have passed on most of them.

41 CW

Just say no to a speedo!

but walking down the street is a no-no. With this in mind, a funfair at an Essex seaside resort has set rules about certain clothing, to which visitors must adhere.

Southend’s Adventure Funfair Land, following the example of theme parks in America, is banning barechested men this summer, The Guardian newspaper debates the issue with different points of view. The first one is that of choice, and why a man shouldn’t be able to bare his chest in hot temperatures.

Journalist David Stubbs takes the view that men and women

have fought for the right to wear whatever they want.

He writes: “Liberties for which men and women perished, shrieking at the stake for centuries, are in jeopardy.”

I feel this may be a bit strong, and that the main reason for the rule being implemented is for safety on the rides.

Alex Blimes, editor of Esquire, takes the other side of the argument, stating that seeing another man’s moobs is unnecessary.

He goes on to say: “Men have always had moobs, and we have always managed to keep them under wraps.”

Mr Blimes suggests, “a man’s moobs are between himself and his significant other, and there is no need for the rest of the world to see them”.

I have no problem with a man going barechested and, living here, you see plenty of it. But it’s more the bottom half that can be a problem.

I have already mentioned my hate of Speedos, but worse than that is men’s choice of footwear.

Firstly sandals or - more specifically - should I say, Jesus sandals.

I know they are comfortable and practical, but they do nothing for men’s feet and look even worse if those feet have socks on.

With this in mind, next week’s article will focus on beach wears do’s and don’ts.

CW 42

Food and Drink

www.canarianweekly.com 9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Granadilla’s big feast nearly here MAKE a date in your diary - Friday, 30th May because you will simply want to be in Granadilla!

The Sensaciones del Campo a la mesa gastronomic fair is one to savour, and Granadilla Council has begun registrations for this great event.

It is encouraging as many local restaurants and food outlets as possible to take part. Restaurants, tascas and bodegas in the municipality can all enter, from Monday (12th May) until the following Tuesday (20th).

This can be done by going to: http://portal. granadilladeabona.es / actividad/detalle/507 Places are limited, and there will be various competitions, as well as a wonderful showcase for local produce!

The council will reveal those taking part on 22nd May, and members of the public can then start planning their own feast!

www.canarianweekly.com 9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

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43 CW

CW 44

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A Senior View & Community News

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

When Army Great Coats were not just for soldiers

By Monica Dyson ONE of the great things about living abroad in places like Spain, is that you are never really cold … not the sort of cold we feel in the UK. Controversy is rarely away from the price we are paying here in England for our fuel.

It’s a fact that it is disgusting how much the energy companies are making out of us.

And even though keeping warm is a matter of life and death for many people, especially pensioners, there seems little we can do about it except put another jumper on!

No one seems to care about rising prices, and politicians just make empty promises.

Thank goodness it’s been a relatively mild winter, and summer is on its way!

I don’t know about you expats, but I can remember times in my life when I have been really cold.

As a child, opening your eyes in a morning, lifting your face away from the pile of sheets, blankets, candlewick bedspread and, sometimes, Army Great Coats (I’m not sure why we had those) and

watching your breath form a fog in the cold air.

You are so reluctant to get up, not least because it’s freezing in your room! The stone hot-water bottle your mother put into your bed the night before with your pyjamas wrapped around is a block of ice at the bottom of the bed.

And to get dressed, you just know you will

have to do the morning sprint, out of your bedroom, down the stairs and to the only warm place in the house: the fire in the living room!

When I was very small, we had a Yorkshire Range in that room. It was a giant of a cooker, wonderful as far as warmth was concerned, and it also provided cooking facilities.

There was an oven and an open fire.

Enjoy the Lions’ Sunday special THE Arona Lions Club of Las Galletas and Costa del Silencio will hold their regular second Sunday of the month afternoon entertainment this Sunday at Dave’s Bar, Costa del Silencio.

It is near Coral Mar Square and takes place between 2pm and 5pm with your host and compere from the Lions club, Derrick.

Entertainment will be provided by John Ashford, Dave Salmon and Stan (Mr Smooth) Fraser.

Sunday lunch is available in the area, and at the venue, so come early to bag a good seat.

There will be a raffle

with numerous prizes and, hopefully, a funfilled afternoon for everyone.

Arona Lions Club

greatly appreciate your support, as ever, and thank you so much for giving them your backing.

There was nothing quite like the taste of stews, cooked in a black cooking pot which hung over the fire, or the smell of bread, which often greeted us as we walked through the door.

At some time in the Fifties, the range was removed and a gas fire installed, complete with tiled fireplace.

Of course, the range had meant a lot of work. It had to be cleaned with black polish and the fire laid each day. Father would first clear the grate of all the old coal ashes, which he scattered on the garden and, if it were icy outside, on the yard and paths.

My sister and I watched him, in awe of the precision with which he rolled up newspapers into sausage shapes, placed them in the grate with wooden sticks on top, followed by lumps of coal.

Then a match was struck to light the paper. If the fire seemed a bit slow, he would place sheets of newspaper over the opening to the fire to “draw it”. The sheets of paper would

sometimes catch light, much to our delight.

Our mother was elated when the range was ripped out and she had a modern gas cooker with grill.

But that wasn’t without its problems as it was accompanied by a gas meter which ate up shillings, and it meant you always had to have a ready supply of them.

It was quite common for the gas to run out suddenly in the middle of Sunday lunch being cooked, with mother frantically running round to the neighbours to see if she could obtain a shilling.

The meter was emptied every now and then by the “gas man”, who would knock on the back door and walk without invitation into the kitchen.

Sometimes, you would get a rebate when the reading was lower than the amount of money it contained, causing great excitement! We’d have fish and chips for supper that day!

You would often hear of people, desperate for money, trying to break into their gas meters with a knife. And on the rare occasions anyone

had a burglary, there being usually nothing worth stealing in anyone’s house, the meter was targeted.

Houses often had electric meters as well, usually in a cupboard under the stairs. It was one thing to run out of power if a meal were cooking, but if it happened in the middle of a favourite television programme like Take Your Pick, now that was a different thing altogether!

Although we were subject to many deprivations, which, I must admit, we were not aware of at the time, one thing raised us up to a certain oneupmanship. We had a bathroom!

Admittedly, it was on the ground floor of the council house we lived in and it didn’t contain a toilet - that was inside the back porch beside the back door leading into the kitchen.

But it elevated us above many of our school friends who lived in terrace houses, where a tin bath was still used, often by the whole family in turn on a Friday, that being bath night!

But even though we had a bathroom, we still had restrictions over the use of hot water, first by the use of the meter and then by the use of the immersion heater.

I read somewhere that six out of 10 adults prefer to shower instead of taking a bath.

I think that might possibly exclude pensioners, who often experienced growing up without ever really feeling clean!

Reasons given for the preferred showers today were “hectic lifestyles and heavy work schedules”. Not something relevant to us, now that we’ve retired.

So, isn’t it dreadful w that, at our time of life, we have to worry again about the cost of fuel - and that the long, leisurely baths we enjoy nowadays might be subject to cost yet again?

Enjoy the sun, you lucky people!

www.canarianweekly.com

Community News

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

45 CW

K9 refuge news

K9 warming up for a midsummer bash TICKETS are now on sale for K9’s Midsummer Dinner-Dance on Friday, 20th June, at The Sound of Musicals’ Showtime venue in Las Americas (exit 78 off TF-1).

They cost 25 euros, to include a meal, wine, water and soft drinks during the meal, followed by top-class entertainment from

Soul Train and the Everly Brothers’ tribute act.

It all starts at 7.30pm and should finish around 11.30pm. Tickets are available from: the K9 kennels at San Miguel, email Mikey at k9mikey@gmail.com, Lin on 626 344 799, or from Studio 5 hair salon in Los Cristianos.

Individuals and businesses who would like to donate a prize for the raffle will be warmly welcomed, and they should get in touch

with any of the contacts named to arrange collection.

We now have our 12 sponsors for the K9 2015 Calendar, which has photographs of our kennel dogs and cats enjoying themselves in various guises.

It costs five euros and will go on sale at our October Car Boot Sale.

It will also be available from the same contacts, and also the K9 shop in Alcala.

We would like to recruit more volunteers

Accion del Sol news

for our shop and weekly market stall in Alcala. If you can spare one or more mornings, from 10am -2pm, to work in the shop, or a Monday between 9am-1.30pm on the market stall, we would love to hear from you.

Please call at the shop, in Alcala Plaza, or more info from Muriel (646 561 035) or Mikey.

The K9 Car Boot Sale is held on the LAST Sunday of each month and is now bigger and

better than ever. It runs from 9am until 12.30pm, and you need to be early to grab those bargains.

It takes place on the Tipsy Terrace car park, at Los Gigantes Bus Station - a nice atmosphere in a lovely location.

The K9 kennels are open EVERY day of the year, from 9am till 2pm, to clean, feed and exercise the dogs.

If you have an hour to spare, come along and take some of our four-

legged friends for a walk.

They will love the walk and so will you. But remember, sensible footwear is essential. And if that sounds too energetic, you might prefer to sit and groom a dog or a cat. No appointment is needed - just turn up!

If you need more details on any of our subjects, contact the kennels on 667 638 468 or 822 106 195, email Mikey, or check out info@k9tenerife.com

Even the goats joined in!

OUR first fundraiser of the year proved to be exceptional, with animals of all shapes and sizes joining in the fun and games.

They included horses, goats, chickens and many of the refuge dogs, and entertainment was provided by belly dancers, much to the amusement of the children, followed by singing from the brilliant Phil Gibson and Ismail Siddique.

Food was also in abundance, on top of the ever-popular cake stall.

Visitors were given a guided tour of our immaculate Accion del Sol

refuge and, hopefully, one or two lucky dogs will find loving homes.

Marion Gonzalez, who runs the centre, would like to thank staff, volunteers and all the visitors for making the day such a huge success.

Another tragic case On a sadder note, the refuge has again experienced a tragic case of neglect and cruelty, with this poor dog (pictured), being brought into the refuge by Protection Civil almost bald and weighing just 2kgs.

It is unbelievable that anybody could treat a poor animal this way.

But with lots of tlc and good nutritious food, hopefully, it will make a full recovery and be

lucky enough to find a loving home.

Please call 922 778 630 for more information, or if you would like to help the refuge out in any way. Towels and blankets are always needed for the dogs if you have any to spare. They would be much appreciated by our inmates How to find us The refuge is situated at the Granadilla Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER, the ecological park by the windmills.

Opening hours We are open to the public Monday-Friday, from 3-6pm, if you are interested in adopting a dog, or maybe just taking one or two for a leisurely walk

CW 46

www.canarianweekly.com

Motoring

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Return of the TVR!

By Jav THE future looked rosy in 2005 when TVR were purchased by young Russian millionaire Nicholas Smoleski.

He vowed to return the fortunes of TVR to their previous supercar fame.

And so the Sagaris model was launched.

It was the last in a long line of TVRs, dating back to 1958, when TreVoR (TVR) Wilkinson built his first production kit car.

The Sagaris was awesome, oozing road presence, thanks to its stunning looks and groundshaking exhaust note.

TVR’s venerable AJ6, front-mounted aluminium straight-six engine was upgraded, with aluminium pistons and an ECU remap to produce 406bhp.

Acceleration was startling, with an instant throttle response from anywhere between 2,000-7,000rpm.

And, using a close-ratio fivespeed gearbox, the Sagaris could blast from zero to 150mph in just 20 seconds.

With huge disc brakes, and weighing 1,159kg only, the car’s stopping power was astonishing.

It was easily the best TVR ever, with a firm but comfortable ride, immense cornering speed, together with perfect steering.

The interior was, without doubt, the best TVR had ever designed, and with a cost price of £50,000, the Sagaris was good value.

But TVR’s future collapsed in 2006, and the Sagaris ceased production. Smoleski did offer

various GM V8-powered versions of the car for a while, but TVR soon folded for good.

Until last year, that is, when a consortium of British car-lovers, led by computer-games millionaire Les Edgar, bought the rights and

assets of TVR from Smoleski with a view to relaunching the famous sports car.

Edgar’s main task since the purchase, he says, is to line up the necessary engineers, designers and suppliers to build a completely new model.

An R and D centre is about to open in the South of England as a prelude to launching the new, British-built sports car in 2016.

Concept designs have already been completed, and a full-size, prototype mock-up is set to begin shortly.

For now, though, the company are working on just one model, which will be simple and exciting - in true TVR fashion.

Owners love their TVRs. There are some 140 models on British roads, and they are still, roughly, worth the £50,000 (60,850 euros) purchase price!”

Who knows, maybe we will see these magnificent machines back in full production in the not-to-distant future.

Peugeot are keeping up!

THERE is no shortage of competition in the small hatchback market, particularly from the likes of the Volkswagen up!

So it is quite obvious that Peugeot would want to go one better by lavishing more style and comfort on their new 108 city car, which will be available in showrooms at the start of July.

The company have actually adopted much of its style from their successful 208 model. But there are some up-todate touches, such as the LED daytime running lights, although these are unlikely to be standard on all versions.

What they have aimed for is the improved quality, and, say the firm, a big-car feel to what is, after all, a small machine.

Like the popular 107, the newcomer has the same all-glass tailgate, and tiny dimensions -

at less than 3.5m long - and it handles just as well its predecessor.

There are some up-todate touches like LED daytime running lights, although these are unlikely to be standard on all versions.

Both three and five door models will be available, and there are two engines in the lineup - both three-cylinder units which emit less

than 100g/km of CO2.

Mainstay is a 1.0-litre unit with 68PS, which comes with a five-speed manual as standard, or an automated manual as an option. A more powerful 82PS 1.2-litre VTi is also available, and all models have Hill Start Assist (HSA) as well as an Electronic Stability Programme (ESP), which basically means stability control.

Alongside the standard hatchback model, there will also be the 108 TOP, which comes with a “peel back” retractable fabric roof, which can be adjusted to any position and marks these models out from the standard variety.

The city car starts from £8,245, with prices rising to £12,245 for the 1.2-litre five-door cabrio.

Four trim options will be offered - Access, Active, Allure and Feline - although cabrio models will be sold in midrange Active and Allure spec only. Kicking off the range is Access (£8,245) trim, available on threedoor models only, with standard kit including remote central locking, six airbags, ESP and a USB socket.

The Active (£9,495) adds body-coloured door mirrors and handles, air-conditioning, DAB digital radio, seven-inch infotainment system with Mirror Screen and Bluetooth connectivity, as well as steering-mounted controls and electric front windows.

Allure (£10,995) improves on the Active spec with 15-inch Thorren alloy wheels, front fog lights, auto headlights, heated door mirrors, a reversing camera, keyless entry, a stop-start engine button and tinted rear windows, alongside leather steering wheel and gear knob. Peugeot also offer

a flagship Feline trim for the hatchback, which, they say, “adds a touch of luxury” with leather upholstery, chrome door handles and mirrors, and automatic dual zone air-con.

Both the 108 Hatch and TOP! go on sale with a choice of two petrol engines, a 68bhp 1.0-litre three-cylinder unit and Peugeot’s new 1.2-litre PureTech VTi, capable of 82bhp. Each promises to emit less than 100g/km of CO2.

Power will reach the front wheels via a fivespeed manual, although customers can choose a semi-automatic gearbox on the 1.0-litre engine.

On top of the four trim levels, the company are encouraging customers to personalise their car, thanks to a choice of eight bold body colours and three roof shades at a cost, of course.

But it appears perfect for city motoring, has smooth looks and should give the up! and others of that ilk a good run for their money.

www.canarianweekly.com

Puzzle

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

PRIZE Godoku!

WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl The rules of Godoku are simple - just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid. When you have completed it a word will appear.

Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 14th May and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.

Last Weeks winner (Issue 851): Michael Bond Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 6th June to pick up and use your vouchers.

This week’s letters: A C D I K Q R U W This week’s mystery clue: This is the title of Shu Ejima’s debut crime thriller (9 letters).

A R Q C

R U A D

C

W Q D R

I R C U

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

K Q W U

I C D R

Making you think...

Which number should replace the question mark?

Beginner Starter Number

1

2

3

12

squared

-56

÷8

6

7

8

9

-9

x6

-51

2/3 of this

2

3

4

+24

5

3/5 of this

Answer

Intermediate Starter Number

1

132

÷4

6

7

-14 8

x3 +103

x7

3/4 of this

Starter Number

1

2

3

6

7

5

40% of this

Answer

9

+53

-55

4

Advanced

600 ÷30 +44 +57

25% of this

8

-3

x2

4

-71

9

x4

5

÷3

Answer

Quick Wordsearch

A

47 CW

Find the words on: Canterbury Tales prevarication glib absolution hostelry abstruse intone accrue joust arbitrate lanyard array lecher arrears malady benign palfrey boorish penitents bream prelate buffoon sanguine cloister secular contemptuous shrive double worsted solicitous ecclesiast sundry effigy superfluity eminent verity engender victual felicity vouch fustian wanton garnish wary

Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

7 9 2

6 8 1 8 6

3 5 2 1

1 7 9 8 3 8 7 1 6

Last Issue's Answers:

8 1 2

Brain Training: Beginner: 6 Intermediate: 156

Advanced: 427

Making you think:

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

2 7 3 6 1

8 6 2 1 4

6

3 8 7

4

2 4 6

7 3 6 1

8 4

8 5 7 9

4 6 7 3

6 8 1

6 9

9 5 4 2

5 3 7

9 1 5 6

5 8

2

2 3 6 4 7

4

5

6 3 8 9 1

Answer: 4. Working in rows, starting with the central row, add the left and right hand digits together and put the result in the central space. Repeat for the upper and lower rows, but put the result in the opposite central space.

Godoku:

Sudoku X:

4 9 5 3 7 2 8 1 6

8 1 3 4 9 6 2 5 7

2 6 7 8 1 5 4 3 9

1 8 4 9 6 7 3 2 5

9 3 2 5 8 4 6 7 1

7 5 6 1 2 3 9 8 4

6 7 9 2 3 1 5 4 8

5 2 8 7 4 9 1 6 3

3 4 1 6 5 8 7 9 2

Sudoku:

5 7 4 8 2 3 1 9 6

7 6 3 9 1 8 5 4 2

6 1 8 9 7 4 2 5 3

8 2 1 6 4 5 3 7 9

3 2 9 5 1 6 8 7 4

4 5 9 3 2 7 1 8 6

7 8 3 2 9 1 4 6 5

9 3 2 8 5 1 7 6 4

1 9 6 7 4 5 3 2 8

5 1 4 7 6 2 9 3 8

2 4 5 3 6 8 9 1 7

6 8 7 4 9 3 2 1 5

9 6 1 4 8 7 5 3 2

2 4 5 1 7 6 8 9 3

8 3 7 1 5 2 6 4 9

3 7 6 2 8 9 4 5 1

4 5 2 6 3 9 7 8 1

1 9 8 5 3 4 6 2 7

CW 48

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Information / Free Ads

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco. gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112

National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06 Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014 Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00 Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions.

Take care.

Green - Safe to swim Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava

Canarian Weekly Photo Challenge

Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11 Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 77 77 20 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802 Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037

TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

Leather boots and shoes, size 3-4, from 2-25 euros. All vgc. Tel. 627 219 001

This week’s best photo: Craig Wagstaff

Theme: Reflection

JVC KD-G321 stereo car radio/cd player, 20 euros. ACER S191HQL 18.5in flat-screen computer monitor, 30 euros. Tel: 639 935 050

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop).

Deadline for Free ads is Tuesdays at 4pm. Up to 500 euros only.

Electric room heater with timer, good working order, and empty gas container, 10 euros each. Buyer collects from Los Menores. Tel: 654 837 328.

Panasonic TV, 37in, LCD, LED full HD 1080P, 3x HDMI, 1 x scart, with remote and instruction book, little used since bought 2 years ago. 245 euros.

Tel: 693 810 710 Computer keypad (new), 10 euros. Mouse (new), 5 euros. 2 mics, 5 euros. Webcam, 5 euros. Sky+ box, 30 euros. DVD player, 10 euros. Video player, 5 euros. Tel: 922 166 229 or 678 110 619 Ladies original Calvin Klein watch, gold looking, white face with 3 diamonds, 250 euros ono. DKNY original unisex gold-looking white-face watch with diamante front, 200 euros ono. Ladies original Chloe sunglasses, dark green, 50 euros. Binoculars, Carl Zeiss 7 x 50 navy grey, 350 euros ono. Zenith 7 x 50 codex optics field 71, 200 euros ono. Blue vacuum cleaner, Ufesa 2000 vac, as new, 40 euros. Tel: 657 450 885

Oki PC tower with windows 7, inc keyboard and mouse, 80 euros. Wireless keyboard & mouse in box8 euros. Corner office desk, vgc, 40 euros. Bag of various office items, including intrays, wastepaper bin, hole punch, pen pot, 5 euros the lot. Tel: 659 036 393.

Comfy chair that converts to single bed, vgc 80 euros. Tel: 630 822 214 Large black-glass top dining table, 4 chairs, 100 euros. Buyer collects. Tel: 665 752 835 Baby car seat 0-13kg, 10 euros. White wooden cot with mattress, 40 euros. Earlex steam cleaner plus accessories, 1,500 watt, 4.5 litres, 40 euros. Brother knitting machine KH910 plus attachments, table, books and wool, 75 euros. large giltframed mirror 30 euros. Vacuum cleaner, 1,400 watt, 10 euros.

Olympus OM10 35mm camera with flash and tripod, 50 euros.

Heavy-duty clothes rail on castors, 25 euros. Tel: 662 354 391 TV stand, glass shelf, room for DVD stereo, fit any TV, 15 euros.

TDT set-top box, 18-month guarantee, remote control, 2 scart and USB, record or play. 15 euros. Pics of flowers in nice wooden frames, unmarked, 34cm x 64cm, 9 euros, and 5 of the same, 53cm x 64cm, 12 euros, or 100 euros the lot. Tel: 634 339 913 Mac Pro, 2 x 3 Ghz dual core intel xeon. NVidea Quadro FX 4500. 2 hard discs 500 + 250 Apple display 19ins, 200 euros.

Tel: 697 861 395

1.5 litre Severin electric kettle, hardly used, 15 euros. 1.7 litre gsc electric jug kettle, 10 euros. Tel: 922 733 299

Microwave and grill, 35 euros. TDT with remote, 15 euros.

Ceiling fan with lamp, 25 euros. Camping gas, 20 euros. DVD player/video recorder combo remote, 45 euros. DVD player, 25 euros. VCR player, 20 euros, Butane gas bottles, 40 euros each, 3 for 110 euros. Two orange juicers, 10 euros each. Deep fat fryer, 20 euros, VCR player, 20 euros. Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. Child’s car seat, 20 euros. Tel: 632 526 710

6kg clothes dryer, as new, 110 euros. Top-quality external security light with wide beam and passive infrared sensor, brand-new, 99 euros. Pair good-quality long white curtains with blue border, 254 x214cm, 28 euros. 2 large white/gold bordered mirrors, pure wool blankets, satin bordered, sheet sets, electric hot tray food warmer, 10 euros each. Sheets, towels, cushions, curtains, pillows, kitchen utensils, from 1-10 euros. Electric griddle 17 euros. Various household tools from 1-9 euros. Patio furniture sets, from 5-70 euros. Laptop with strong shoulder case, 25 euros. Quality clothes, size 12-16,

Under-counter fridge, 50 euros. Stainless-steel 4-ring electric hob, 50 euros. White microwave 25 euros, Stainless-steel electric kettle, 12 euros. Chest freezer, 120 euros. Kettle, parasol, 14 euros each. Computer monitor, 10 euros, Mountain bike, 85 euros. Video recorders, 20 euros. Table fan, 15 euros.

Computer tower, 70 euros, PC monitor, 30 euros. DVD player, 20 euros. VCR player, 25 euros. Foot-bath massager, 20 euros.

Playstation 2 with controller + two games, 45 euros. Microwave dishes, 8 euros each. Vacuum cleaner, (bagless), 20 euros. 21in TV, 30 euros. Mini oven, 20 euros. Tel: 686 336 904

Double bed settee with covers and bedding, 100 euros. Tel: 634 056 845

www.canarianweekly.com

Classified

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014 Pair of rare Japanese figurines by NAO, 350 euros. Tel: 676 051 341

49 CW

Cars/BIKES (cont.)

2 x XL mens, left hand golf gloves, 10 euros each. Grey marl 3 piece suit, jacket and waistcoat, 40L and trousers, 34L, 20 euros. Timberland juumper, XL, 10 euros. Sonnetti combats, 34L, 10 euros. Jane, pink and orange pregnancy sleeping/feeding cushion, also turns into cushion for baby to lay in, 20 euros. Second hand mens golf shoes, size 11, 20 euros ONO. Events management level 3 course from www. openstudycollege.com, 300 euros including name change.

Tel: 637 206 026

Air-conditioning

Property for rent

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

For Sale

GOLF DEL SUR - Charming 2-bed bungalow. Fabulous views.

Garden. Parking. 750€ monthly. Tel: 627 219 001

Property for SALE One bed furnished apartment for sale on Parque Tropical, Los Cristianos. Large terrace. 150,000 euros. No agents. Tel: 922 737 305

For Sale contents of 2 bed apartment. Letting on long term unfurnished basis so everything is available. As new 46” Samsung TV, new washing machine & dishwasher, microwave, double bed with hard wood headboard, 2 single beds with hard wood (matching) headboard, side cabinets, 2 metal action sofa beds, hardwood lounge/dining furniture, teak patio set, sunbeds and lots of pots, pans, plates etc...

Call: 0044 781 449 5730 or www.golf-apartment.info

Jobs Avangard and Blueseastudios are holding auditions on Saturday 17th May, at 2pm in hotel Best Tenerife Discothèque. Male and female singers required, who can move well, for a brand new Motown show starting this July. Contracted, guaranteed show, so no time wasters. Please come prepared with own music to sing one fast and one slow temp song. Call Louise 628 433 621 for more info.

Cars/BIKES

Mercedes Benz 500SL, 1994, convertible, 6,000 euros.

Tel: 647 928 223

Long term car rental, Citroen Berlingo M.P.U in v.g.c. 250 euros per month, insurance and maintenance included. Tel: 922 737 290 - 689 633 718 Fiat Ritmo (Strada) 1979, superb condition, ITV, white, blue interior, 1,200 euros. Tel: 634 028 892 Long term car rental from 220 euros per month, full insurance.

Tel: 642 756 473

Telemarketers required, experience preferred, but not essential.

Earnings up to 1,000 euros per week, basic included. Flexible hours to suit candidate. Weekly payment and weekends free. For more information please ring Leonie on 672 016 107 or Caroline on 620 071 611 Established Marketing Company in South Tenerife is expanding and looking for Slovenian speaking persons to work with new and old clients speaking on the phone and in person. Must be smart appearance; be able to work as a part of a team, some computer knowledge required. Please contact Sue on 922 714 632 or send C.V. to mail@destinationtenerife.com Telesales staff required to sell events and promotions. Experience is essential. Applicants must be target orientated A Basic salary plus commission and excellent incentives offered. Contract available for the right person. Seen CV to Info@oasisfm.com

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Blinds

CW 50

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Construction (cont.)

Chiropodist

Insurance

Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel.

Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA - making happy feet between El Medano and Los Gigantes for 18 years. Tel: 608 029 790

Cleaning Counsellor

Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Computers

Telephone: 922 736 728

Feeling depressed, anxious, low? Bacp qualified professional counsellor seeing clients in a private specialist medical centre. Many years experience in UK and qualified to degree level. South Tenerife.

Call (+34) 618175048

Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing etc. (e.g. complete bathroom & kitchen refurbishments, including all materials & labour from under 2000 euros) Tel 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers

Electrician

E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

Flowers

Massage

Construction

Visiting massage for tensed up ladies only.

Call Rocky 625 832 848 Mechanics

Fly Screens

Garden Furniture Patio Doors & Windows

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Patio Doors & Windows (cont.)

Pool tables

security (cont.)

Printing

Translation

51 CW

Personal ServiceS Eva, the girl you’ve been looking for in Las Galletas, all services, to fulfill your fantasies, call now on 669 738 298.

SISSY LOS CRISTIANOS SLIM, SEXY, DOMINATING GOODLOOKING, PRIVATE APARTMENT, CALL : 634 273 126.

Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

repairs

2 friends in Las Galletas, slim, big breasts, erotic massage, obliging, fantasies, threesomes, lesbianism, call 669 738 298.

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more.

Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

Pure vice in Los Cristianos, French, kisses, toys, 24 hours service, call 634 948 137 Mariela in Los Cristianos, no limits, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, call 605 072 917

Second-hand Shops

Meliza in Los Cristianos, blond & sexy, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, call 605 375 495

TV and Satellite Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

English model, showgirl, professional striptease, quality service, general entertainment. Stag night, dominatrix, fetish, luxury conditions, visits 24 hours, escort service available, 697 227 139.

Nice, sporty, 30 plus, Spanish lady, certified masseur, toys and naughty lingerie also available. Discrete hotel/home visits. Reasonable prices. English speaking. Viagra available. Las Americas - Buzanada.

Tel: 602 506 793.

Pest control

Upholstery cleaning

Furniture & Household Items bought for cash Immediate decisions

Phone Freddie 609 303 634 security

Plumbing

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

Windows

CW 52

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

By Roscoe

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

Weary Tenerife pay the penalty

CD Tenerife 0 Girona 1 ANOTHER week, another defeat, another penalty conceded, another blank in front of goal - and another tired display!

There you go, everything you need to know in 17 words.

As I suggested last week, Girona fought like caged tigers and thoroughly deserved the win that took them off the bottom of the table. If they show the same determination in their last five matches, they will safe.

Tenerife need to find their mojo, or a case of Red Bull.

At times on Sunday they looked ready for the beach. It’s not just the physical tiredness.

To these eyes, Tenerife look mentally exhausted. It’s been such a hard year. The strain of going up, the early-season concern and now the weight of expectation.

Throw in the turmoil Ayoze Perez must be going through and then all the travelling … no Position

wonder it’s getting to them.

That doesn’t excuse another toothless performance. And you cannot account for poor officials, week in, week out. Maybe the side have peaked? I honestly hope not, but a glance at the games to come, shows the

enormity of the task.

A fortnight ago, an automatic promotion spot was on the cards.

Today? Well they will have done brilliantly to get a play-off place.

The wolves are everywhere and the games are getting bigger.

On Sunday Girona’s big players

Points

PLD

Won

1 RC Deportivo

64

37

18

Draw Lost 10

9

43

F A 29

2 SD Eibar

62

37

17

11

9

45

26

3 FC Barcelona B

57

37

17

6

14

49

40

4 UD Las Palmas

57

37

16

9

12

43

40

5 Real Murcia CF

55

37

13

16

8

47

39

6 CD Tenerife

54

37

15

9

13

46

42

7 Córdoba CF

53

37

14

11

12

41

40

8 Real Sporting

53

37

13

14

10

55

48

9 RC Recreativo

53

37

14

11

12

47

47

10 CE Sabadell FC

51

37

15

6

16

46

54

11 CD Lugo

50

37

13

11

13

39

44

12 CD Mirandés

49

37

13

10

14

38

46

13 Real Zaragoza

47

37

12

11

14

43

47

14 SD Ponferradina

47

37

12

11

14

42

43

15 AD Alcorcón

47

37

12

11

14

37

35

16 CD Numancia

46

37

9

19

9

36

35

17 Real Jaén CF

44

37

11

11

15

38

43

18 RCD Mallorca

44

37

11

11

15

42

55

19 Girona FC

43

37

10

13

14

45

45

20 Real Madrid CF Castilla

42

37

11

9

17

43

49

21 Hércules CF

41

37

10

11

16

40

55

22 Deportivo Alavés

41

37

10

11

16

49

52

produced, none more so than former Tenerife favourite Juanlu Hens, who had a stormer.

The eventual winner came seconds after half-time when the ref adjudged that Javi Moyano had handled in the box. I’ve seen the reply 50 times and from his angle, the ref cannot be sure. He guessed.

He never saw the incident and, for whatever reason, he simply flipped a coin in his head. The lino didn’t see it, either. It was a shocker but, on reflection, even the most one-eyed fan will admit the best team on the day won.

And to cap off the misery Ayoze Perez (pictured) picked up another stupid booking, one that keeps him out of the massive Canary Islands derby with Las Palmas this weekend.

And it’s his own fault. A card for diving against Deportivo and one for time-wasting at Lugo has cost him and Tenerife dearly.

All these stupid actions add up over time.

When the sides met just before Christmas,

Tenerife’s tails were up. They had gone seven games unbeaten, while Las Palmas were a mess. They were in the middle of four straight defeats and, once Tenerife had the early advantage against 10 men, there was only going to be one winner.

But that was a long time ago and both sides have had their ups and downs since.

Las Palmas have lost only three of their last 11, and there have been some fine wins during that run.

None more so than the win at Real Zaragoza last week. That has given them confidence, yet they remain tailormade for Tenerife’s style.

They will press Tenerife, and the high line makes them vulnerable to the wingers and counterattack that Alvaro Cervera loves.

But will Tenerife perform like that on Saturday night?

With Ayoze missing, it’s hard to see how they can play that way. I’d be staggered if youngster Nano gets the nod, even though

he would be a like-forlike change.

I believe there has to be a temptation to start with Aridane and have Luismi Loro just behind him in the number 10 role. Or maybe Juanjo at 9 and Aridane behind to force a more physical game.

That said, trying to second-guess Cervera is idiocy.

Unless he makes a miracle recovery, Moyano is out and Raul Camara will fill in at right-back. He said this week that he couldn’t wait to play: “Derby games are always special and it’s a shame for Javi Moyano if he misses out,” he added. But everyone wants to play this Saturday.”

Every man and his dog know how important this is to both sides, and the word from Las Palmas is that it will be a sell-out. The stadium can officially hold just over 31,000, and it seems that every ticket will go. In fact, demand has been so high that Tenerife’s allocation has been cut to just 800 tickets.

The match is live on TV Canarias at 9pm.

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

53 CW

Baker’s boys keep Hammers decent THE battle of the Hammers took place at Palms Sports Bar on Tuesday and bragging rights were up for grabs.

Tenerife Hammers A, riding high at the top of the league, took on Hammers C, who are fighting a relegation battle.

It was a spirited performance from Bobby Baker’s C team, who were always in the contest.

There was no Wez for Hammers A, but back-up Jet chipped in when needed. And even though the result was never in doubt, the C team were happy with their 7-5 defeat.

Gaffers A sit 10 points off the pace with a game in hand, but they realise Hammers A are not going to drop points and will console themselves as runners-up.

They took on Inn the Pink A and did what they needed to do by taking the three points.

The battle for third and fourth spot looks like being fought out between the two Phoenix teams, and

both were in winning form this week.

The Knights, currently third, dented Dreamers A’s recent run of good form, while the Potters took an axe to Treehouse A, leaving the Chayofa boys floundering near the bottom of the league.

Peacocks took a step closer to safety by taking a point from Bar La Caña A. They have games in hand over their relegation rivals, but this point could prove pivotal.

Exiles A and Palms A are two teams whose season can be summed up with the saying, “should have done better”. Only recently, Palms were challenging for titles and Exiles have some good, solid players.

But they find themselves in mid-table, only a couple of points separating them, and on Monday they cancelled each other and took a point apiece.

Del was the man for Exiles, while Heineken produced a couple of “worldy” finishes to give his side some reward.

In Division Two, it is advantage to Palms B as they took the opportunity to move to the top with a win against a good Exiles B team.

Division 2 results

Division 1 Results Bar La Cana A Dreamers A Inn The Pink A Phoenix Potters Tenerife Hammers C Palms Bar A

6-6 3-9 4-8 9-3 5-7 6-6

The Peacocks Phoenix Knights Gaffers A The Treehouse A Tenerife Hammers A Exiles A

Division 1 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Hammers A 33 30 1 2 268 1 28 140 91 2 Gaffers A 32 26 3 3 252 132 120 81 3 Phoenix Knights 33 16 9 8 220 176 44 57 4 Phoenix Potters 33 15 7 11 206 190 16 52 5 Dreamers A 33 15 5 13 208 188 20 50 6 Inn The Pink A 33 13 6 14 207 189 18 45 7 Palms Bar A 33 12 9 12 195 201 -6 45 8 Bar La Cana A 33 13 6 14 183 213 -30 45 9 Exiles A 32 12 7 13 188 196 -8 43 10 The Peacocks 31 8 7 16 164 208 -44 31 11 Tenerife Hammers C 33 9 3 21 176 220 -44 30 12 The Treehouse A 31 8 5 18 165 207 -42 29 13 Terrace Bar A 32 8 4 20 158 226 -68 28 14 Toscales A 32 4 4 24 134 250 -116 16

They are now a point clear of Inn the Pink B, who did not play this week. The Pink boys have a game in hand and can regain top spot, but the pressure is now on them.

James Place, looking good for a third-placed finish, were in action twice this week. They played out a well-fought draw at Kandi 13 on Tuesday, but Wednesday saw them back to

winning ways with a victory over 2JZ’s.

Kandi 13 also played twice this week, securing three points on Monday against Gaffers B. They would have been confident going into the game against James Place, but I’m sure they were happy with the point!

It wasn’t a good week for Gaffers B. After Monday’s defeat, they were back in action

James Place Terrace Bar B Kandi 13 Palms Bar B Picasso’s A Tenerife Pool Tables Treehouse B Gaffers B

8-4 7-5 6-6 7-5 6-6 7-5 7-5 5-7

2JZ Hoppys Bar James Place Exiles B Gaffers C Gaffers B Bluebell B Kandi 13

Division 2 table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Palms Bar B 30 24 2 4 234 126 108 74 2 Inn The Pink B 29 23 4 2 231 117 114 73 3 James Place 29 20 4 5 222 126 96 64 4 Exiles B 30 18 6 6 227 133 94 60 5 Bluebell B 29 19 3 7 196 152 44 60 6 Terrace Bar B 30 17 5 8 202 158 44 56 7 Kandi 13 30 15 6 9 198 162 36 51 8 2JZ 31 13 6 12 190 182 8 45 9 Bluebell A 28 13 5 10 174 162 12 44 10 Gaffers B 30 12 5 13 182 178 4 41 11 Hoppys Bar 29 11 7 11 174 174 0 40 12 Gaffers C 30 11 6 13 180 180 0 39 13 Toscales B 28 9 4 15 152 184 -32 31 14 Next Door 29 9 3 17 154 194 -40 30 15 Tenerife Pool Tables 29 8 4 17 149 199 -50 28 16 Treehouse B 28 7 1 20 131 205 -74 22 17 Picasso’s A 31 6 4 21 1 43 229 -86 22 18 Shorty’s 28 3 1 24 110 226 -116 10 19 Dreamers B 28 1 2 25 87 249 -162 5 against Tenerife Pool Tables, only to fall to the same scoreline again.

Bluebell B are having a good season, and have been sharp lately.

But they come unstuck against Treehouse B, who will have really enjoyed the victory and the points. Terrace B, who had been the in-form team before stumbling last week, got back to winning

ways against a Hoppys Bar team hoping to be inspired by wildcard Grandad.

Alas, it was not to be, and maybe he has been on the dark side too long and the tables were too good for him!

In the week’s remaining game, nothing could separate Picasso’s A and Gaffers C, both teams settling for a point.

Schofield fantasies are streets ahead!

SO, the final weekend is upon us and, unlike the Premier League, the Oasis Fm Fantasy League will not go down to the wire.

Steve Schofield has led the field for most of the season, and, as he sits 96 points clear at the top, he will not be caught.

A few weeks ago there were a few sharks snapping at his heels, but there was no Liverpoolstyle collapse. Steve has got the job done.

Below top spot, there

is a real bun-fight going on for 2nd, 3rd and 4th places. Andy Palmer, who had been favourite for silver, has fallen away in recent weeks.

James Ferraby has seized upon this and come through into second spot, leading Andy by 15 points, and Paul Tregent is also there or thereabouts in fourth place.

He’s just 27 points adrift of Andy, which is not insurmountable. So, with one point-scoring day to go, the runnersup spot is still up for

grabs. The battle of the Oasis Fm DJs has become a little more interesting in the past few weeks. Adi Benson still leads the way and, as the sports presenter, so he should, even though his predictions have been a little off the mark this season!

He is being chased

by Roscoe, who boxed clever this week, ensuring he had players in his team who were playing two matches. He has made up a little ground, but remains 23 points behind. Will he make it?

The bookies say it’s too close to call because Adi’s insistence on Liverpool players could again backfire.

Top Ten standings

Chris Elkington is 28 points behind Roscoe, while Maggie Lennard is just happy that Birmingham stayed up!

Pos

team name

player

this week

1

Tenerife Hotspur

Steven Schofield

90

total pts 2,342

2

Turbin Terrorists

James Ferraby

83

2,246

3

Premier Sat Utd

Andy Palmer

87

2,231

4

Over land and sea

Paul Tregent

82

2,204

5

Summerland Saints

Jeff Hall

63

2,189

6

@Jony_TF

Jonay Diaz

54

2,188

7

Blacktower Finance

Laura Mann

65

2,184

8

The Spartans

Jamie Palmer

73

2,159

9

Shankly’s Best

Michael Dwyer

95

2,158

10

Jcito Juniors

Greg Clarke

108

2,137

CW 54

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

O’Sullivan runs into crash barrier, twice!

R O N N I E O ’ S U LL I V A N and his young son escaped unharmed from a car crash on their way home from Sheffield in the early hours on Tuesday.

He hit the central reservation in wet conditions after spinning out of control.

His Audi R8 sports car was wrecked, but he and six-year-old Ronnie were unscathed.

But Ronnie Snr will almost certainly be scarred by the 18-14 defeat inflicted on him by Mark Selby

in snooker’s World Championship Final at the Crucible Theatre hours earlier.

O’Sullivan, bidding for a hat-trick of titles and six in all to draw level with legends Steve Davis and Ray Reardon, was a cert to win, according to the experts.

And, unlike the usual “experts” who cast judgements without ever having taken part in whatever activity they are criticising, the likes of former world champions Stephen Hendry, John Parrott and even Davis himself believed Ronnie was a shoo-in.

Hendry, with seven titles and another

he should have won, admitted (through gritted teeth, probably), that O’Sullivan was probably the greatest player to pick up a cue, as did all the pundits assembled at the Crucible.

But Leicester’s Selby had other ideas and actually outplayed and outwitted O’Sullivan at times, especially in the safety exchanges.

Davis, at the peak of his powers in the Eighties, admitted that no matter how highly he was rated, he could do nothing to stop anyone on a roll.

“If your opponent’s knocking in balls all over the place, you just have to sit there and

take it,” he said. “And that’s when your bottle goes - you can’t help it.”

And Hendry, who reigned supreme throughout the Nineties, confessed that he bottled three shots in the last two frames of his Crucible defeat against Peter Ebdon in the 2002 final.

From the simple shots O’Sullivan missed shots he would have normally potted blindfolded - that was certainly the case on Monday night as Selby, who had trailed for much of the 35-frame clash, squeezed the life out of him in the final session.

“A few years ago I would have given up,

but I tried my hardest and I’m so sorry I couldn’t do any better,” O’Sullivan told the Crucible audience as the dust was settling. “Mark out-battled me and I’ve got no complaints.”

And that rarely happens to the player the experts believe is capable of beating odds and carrying on at the top of his game into his Forties. Davis couldn’t and neither could Hendry, who both lost their touch in their midto-late Thirties.

Reardon was the only modern-day player to make it through the Forties, reaching the world final against Alex Higgins in 1982 at the age of 49 and failing

narrowly.

Whether this defeat will spur Ronnie on to achieve further greatness remains to be seen. Hopefully it will because, along with Higgins and Jimmy White, he remains one of the great entertainers, and it is unlikely that professional snooker will see his like again.

It’s just a pity for him that at 30, Selby found that special formula and grit to overcome the man who, last year, won the title easily after taking the entire season off.

Full marks to Selby, who hadn’t had the best of seasons, but he’s now he’s back to world No.1 in the rankings.

Brazil cops threaten World Cup walk-out ENGLAND manager Roy Hodgson will name his Brazil World Cup squad on Monday, and already has some selection headaches.

Tottenham’s Andros Townsend is out with injury, and he could be

joined on the sidelines

by Manchester United’s Phil Jones.

Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere must still prove his fitness, but Southampton’s Luke Shaw is set for a shock call-up. Meanwhile, Brazilian police demanding better conditions and more pay held 24-hour strikes on Wednesday in several cit-

ies hosting the event. In Rio, which will feature seven matches, including the 13th July final, they held a peaceful protest, just as Brazil coach Luiz Felipe Scolari unveiled his World Cup squad.

And, with just a few days before the World Cup begins, angry police have threatened to walk

out during the football extravaganza if their demands are not met by then. In the capital, Brasilia - another city staging games - striking police surrounded their headquarters and prevented colleagues from entering.

Federal police union leader Andre Vax de Mello said: “This is a 24-

hour strike which has been well supported.

“We have provided a minimum service for the public, notably at airports, but we are going to stop during the World Cup if the government doesn’t provide a satisfactory response.”

He added: “Salaries have been on the slide and, of the 13,000 federal

police employed countrywide, 250 per year leave and take exams to gain entry to other, better-paid public bodies.”

Last month, troops were forced to patrol the streets of Salvador de Bahia after a wave of looting and murder erupted during a police strike in the World Cup host city.

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Sport

9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014

55 CW

PREMIER LEAGUE PREVIEW

By Adi Benson WELL, what a roller-coaster ride this season has been - and it all comes down to the final game of the season.

City take a two-point advantage and a far superior goal difference to Liverpool into Sunday’s game.

A point will see them crowned champions, but can the Premier League throw up one more twist? It’s all down to West Ham and Newcastle!

All games are being played on Sunday, kickoff 3pm.

Man City v West Ham So City are just 90 minutes away from a second league title in three seasons. They have been here before and should have the experience to see them through.

And they have timed their run to perfection.

By kick-off time, they will have been top for just 16 days. They have been ruthless over the last few weeks and will swot aside the Hammers.

West Ham have “previous” on final afternoons, though.

Remember 1995, when they held Man United and gifted the league to Blackburn? And they do have a Liverpool connection.

But I can’t see Andy Carroll and Stewart Downing giving the City defence any sleepless nights. That said, what odds Stewart Downing crossing for Andy Carroll to head in the winner for the Hammers?

Prediction, Away win (at least let me dream!)

Liverpool v Newcastle If nothing else, Liverpool have certainly made this year’s title race that bit more exciting. But at the end of the day, you cannot spend the whole season relying on your forwards to keep getting your defenders out of trouble sooner or later your luck runs out. They could still be crowned League champions but it is hard to cling to that when you need other teams to do you a favour.

Newcastle have finished in the top 10, and while the club may be happy with that, the supporters definitely aren’t! They protested last week and they want a change of ownership and management. A win against Liverpool would finish their season off in style, but it won’t placate the fans.

Prediction: Home win West Brom v Stoke West Brom have huffed and puffed this season and just about managed to stay up. Their fans will be happy enough to remain in the Premier League, but they’ll want a much-improved performance next season.

A final home game gives them a chance, though, to put a smile on the fans’ faces but they’re against a resilient Stoke side.

Under Mark Hughes, Stoke have played some attractive football and, with a few shrewd signings, may even press for a European place next season.

Prediction: Away win Spurs v Aston Villa Tottenham’s season carried so much hope, talk of a Champions League place and, maybe, even a cup run. But it all fizzled out to nothing. However, their season is not yet over because they need at least a point to qualify for the Europa League again. A new manager will be installed over the summer

but he may not have a large transfer kitty after last year’s spending spree.

Villa have massively under-achieved this season. Paul Lambert talked a good game once he got his own signings in, but they have not been able to produce on the pitch.

The chairman looks as though he is bored with the club, but squad investment will be needed in the summer. If not, they will be a relegation favourite before the league even restarts.

Prediction: Home win Sunderland v Swansea What a season it has been for Sunderland: two good cup runs resulting in a League Cup final appearance. But their league form has been well below-par until recent weeks.

At one point they looked dead and buried, but they got themselves out of trouble by taking points from Man City, Chelsea and Man Utd, a performance of which Harry Houdini would be proud. They are only the second team to be bottom of the table on Christmas Day and survive.

Swansea also flirted with danger, but they live to fight another Premier League campaign. Gary Monk has now been confirmed as permanent manager, and his summer will be filled trying to persuade

the club’s better players to stick around.

Prediction: Draw Soton v Man Utd The way they started the season, I expected Southampton to be in the mix for a European place. But over the last few months their form has dipped, yet they can still be happy with an eighth-place finish.

They also have the opportunity to finish their season with a final home game against Man Utd, and victory would send their supporters off on their holidays happy.

For United, it will be a 90-minute farewell to some old faves. Nemanja Vidic walks off to Inter Milan while Evra, Cleverly and Nani are odds-on to pull on the jersey for the final time.

And then there is Ryan Giggs. Last match as a player? Last match as a manager? Last match with the wives in the players’ lounge?

Prediction: Home win Norwich v Arsenal Norwich finish the season with nothing left to play for and Championship football next season. You’d think this game would see them going through the motions, but what better way to sign off this season’s campaign than by beating Arsenal?

They invested heavily in players, but it was just not to be. There didn’t seem to be team togetherness, and that’s what was needed to stay up.

Arsenal looked like serious contenders at the turn of the year, but their usual injuries kicked in and that was that. They couldn’t turn it on against the teams around them and that has cost them. I think it is time for Wenger to go.

Prediction: Away win Hull v Everton With an FA Cup final ahead, I would expect this to be a differentlooking Hull side with the more senior players rested. As a club, though, they will be disappointed with their final league position.

They had a great first half of the season, but it really tailed off after Christmas, and a top-10 finish passed them by.

Everton, in contrast, have had an excellent season, and even the most hardened fans, I feel, will not have thought they would be in the mix for a Champions League spot came the final weeks.

The team ethic has been brilliant and the players have really stepped up to the mark.

And their reward is European football next season!

Prediction: Away win Fulham v C Palace Relegated with a week to go was certainly not in the script for Fulham at the start of the season. But they have paid the price for chopping and changing managers, and having an ageing squad. They were never able to put a decent run

of results together, and picked up points only here and there. So they paid the ultimate price.

Palace, on the other hand, have somewhat over-achieved, given the position they were in at the start of the season. Many thought they would go down, but with the arrival of Tony Pulis, they tightened up at the back, played some good, counter-attacking football and are a little unlucky not to finish in the top 10. Unless Liverpool win the league (extremely doubtful, Ed), Pulis should be voted Manager of the Year!

Prediction: Away win Cardiff v Chelsea If Vincent Tan hadn’t got rid of Malky Mackay, I believe Cardiff would have stayed. As it is, though, they are planning for life in the Championship. The difficult thing for the Bluebirds is that they didn’t have the players for a relegation battle, and it will be a difficult task for them to bounce straight back up.

Chelsea could have been out of sight and league winners by now, but they have struggled against lesser teams, and Mourinho has been at odds with his players.

I would expect some wholesale changes at Stamford Bridge in the summer, but a season of winning nothing won’t sit well with the fans and the club’s owners.

Prediction: Away win

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www.canarianweekly.com 9th May 2014 - 15th May 2014