Cw issue 870

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Issue 870 19th September - 25th September 2014

TENERIFE STALKING HAWKING

Inside this week...

Read full story on page 3.

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Stephen Hawking the main man for Starmus ASTRONAUTS, cosmonauts, Nobel Prize winners, eminent researchers and prominent figures from science and culture have landed in Tenerife for the Starmus Festival.

The world’s leading astronomy-related festival has again attracted the cream of the crop, and the brightest minds, for an important week of astronomy, space exploration and biological science discussion.

The event, Starmus: Beginnings. The Making Of The Modern Cosmos, has already captured the public’s imagination - and one man in particular is the man of the moment.

It seems that every man, woman, child and politician wants to get a glimpse of Stephen Hawking, or have a photo taken with him.

The 72-year-old professor is in Tenerife for a month. He headlines Starmus and will give two speeches, the first is this Tuesday.

He will speak for an hour on The Origin of the Universe. Then, next Saturday (27th Sept), he will give a talk on Black Holes at the Auditorium.

It’s the hottest ticket in town and the 400 passes made available to the public have already been snapped up.

Hawking is far from the only household name at Starmus, and the organisers have done an amazing job in bringing over so many experts, leaders and star names to Tenerife.

The conference is based at the Ritz-Carlton (formerly Abama) Hotel and begins on Monday afternoon. Starmus founder Garik Israelian will open the event, before Physicist and Nobel Laureate Robert Wilson gives the opening speech on The Beginning Of All Beginnings.

Later in the afternoon, there will not be a spare seat as controversial atheist Richard Dawkins addresses the conference. His dismissive views on creationism - the belief that humanity, all life and the universe was created by

one being or God - has sparked debate and fury for decades. He will give a lecture called A Tentative Taxonomy of Alien Life.

Anthropologist Katerina Harvati’s talk on human origins concludes Day One, before Stephen Hawking opens Day Two. The Apollo 7 lunar module pilot Walt Cunningham is also on Tuesday’s bill, and fellow NASA astronaut Charlie Duke appears on Wednesday.

He was also a lunar module pilot and he became the youngest man to walk on the moon as part of the Apollo 16 mission in April 1972.

He was also the CAPCOM (communications officer) for Apollo 11.

As CAPCOM, he became the voice of Mis-

sion Control, and it was Duke’s famous first words to the Apollo 11 crew on the surface of the Moon.

The descent famously over-ran and there was a period of silence from Neil Armstrong’s module. An understandablyflustered Duke radioed: “Roger, Twank... Tranquility, we copy you on the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We’re breathing again. Thanks a lot!”

Duke was back-up Lunar Module Pilot on the legendary Apollo 13 mission. However, shortly before the mission, he caught German measles and exposed the prime crew to the disease.

As Ken Mattingly had no immunity to the disease, Mattingly was replaced as Command Module Pilot by

Jack Swigert. Mattingly would be reassigned as Command Module Pilot of Apollo 16 Duke’s flight!

Nobel Laureate Harold Kroto, famous Particle Physicist John Ellis and Queen musician Brian May complete a stunning Day Three line-up.

Excursions to the Teide and La Palma observatory follow on Thursday and Friday, before the Frday night concert. Rick Wakeman headlines as part of the Sonic Universe Concert at Magma, where Brian May will also perform.

The event concludes next Saturday (27th Sept) at the Santa Cruz auditorium with a special salute to Neil Armstrong.

The first man to set foot on the moon passed away shortly after his

star appearance at the first Starmus festival.

His great friend, cosmonaut Alexi Leonov, will deliver the main speech.

He was the first man to spacewalk, and he will give an insight into why the Russians didn’t go to the moon. All the talks are in English and will be translated into Spanish. Hundreds of people have flown in from all around the world and organisers have been delighted with the local response.

At the time of writing, nearly 500 tickets had been sold in Tenerife, which is double the number expected.

Add that to the Hawking Santa Cruz speech and ticket sales for the Friday night concert, and it’s clear to see just how important this event has become.

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PM holds firm on independence MARIANO Rajoy tions” in Parliawas in a spikey ment this week. mood during his The Spanish Prime weekly “ques- Minister reiterated his

stance on continental togetherness, saying: “Europe was designed to unite states, not divide them.”

Rajoy warned Parliament of the negative consequences of pro-independence processes for the well-being

of the European Project and its citizens.

He also defended the tax reform and the anti-corruption measures undertaken by his Government.

In response to the speech made by PNV (Basque Nationalist Party MP Aitor Esteban on the Scotland Referendum, the PM pointed out - as the European leaders have also done - that the EU Treaties provide that “should one part of a State break away, it becomes a third party vis-à-vis the European Union.

“And, from then on, no European treaty shall apply - not the free movement of people, capital, goods or services, the currency, the European Central Bank, or agricultural aid, etc”.

Rajoy described these processes as “torpedoes on the waterline of the European spirit, because Europe was designed to unite States not to divide them, and integration is a sign of the times”.

He also stressed that this separation does not arouse any “enthusiasm” on the part of the Member States of the Union.

He added: “That’s because it is understood, and I also understand this, that it is bad for the region affected, for the State affected and also for the EU as a whole, affecting its wealth, employment and the wellbeing of all citizens and, indeed, the very essence of the Union.

“These regions may, subsequently, request membership of the EU, but these processes may take years and need the “unanimous agreement of all 28 Member States.”

Rajoy pointed out: “There are many differences between the process taking place in Scotland and other events that are taking place here. For starters, Scotland has virtually no devolved powers compared with the Basque Country, Cata-

lonia or many other Spanish regional governments.”

As for the effects of the tax reform, Socialist MP Pedro Sánchez, asked the PM about the priority aims of this initiative - helping economic growth, fostering job creation and establishing a fairer tax system.

“It will be very useful for improving the standard of living of the Spanish people and reducing social inequalities,” said Rajoy.

He also specified: “Those who will pay more and those who will enjoy fewer tax breaks are those on the highest incomes,” He added that Personal Income Tax will be lower for all taxpayers, with an average reduction of 12.5%, and up to 23.5% for 72% of them.

Rajoy also highlighted the aid for working mothers and families included in the tax reform.

And he reiterated his Government’s intention to drive legal reforms and to increase material and personal resources to prevent and combat corruption - and to ensure that justice is increasingly “swifter, more diligent and effective”.

Among the measures to combat corruption and tax fraud, he mentioned the approval of the Law on Financing Political Parties and the Transparency Act, together with the Criminal Code reform, to combat tax and National Insurance fraud more effectively.

Rajoy said he was keen to “reach agreement” with the parliamentary groups on other bills already submitted to Parliament, such as the one relating to the control of the economic and financial activity of political parties.

This was his response to Rosa Diez, spokesperson of the Union, Progress and Democracy party, requesting more anti-corruption measures from the Government.

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Treasury ministers facing a taxing time CRISTOBAL Montoro, Minister for the Treasury and Public Administration Services, and Treasury State Secretary Miguel Ferre, enjoyed meeting Andorra’s Jordi Cinca, Minister for Finance and the Civil Service.

The get-together, held in a friendly atmosphere at the ministerial headquarters, served, among other things, to take stock of the application of the agreement on the exchange of tax information signed in 2010.

The departments agreed to step up collaboration in the future on the exchange of tax

information and transparency. They also tackled the state of negotiations to sign a treaty to avoid double-taxation between the two countries.

The first round of technical negotiations will start during next week, from Monday.

The Spanish proposal follows the OECD model for double-tax treaties, which includes anti-abuse clauses and other standard safeguards.

The Treasury Ministry’s aim is precisely to strengthen treaties of this nature. It also seeks to extend the network of agreements on the exchange of information.

During this legislature, double-tax treaties and agreements to exchange information have been signed with Bahrain, Austria, the UK, India, Uzbekistan,

Cyprus, Argentina and the US. In March this year, the Council of Ministers

Rajoy finds solidarity at Spanish transplant’s HQ

SPANISH Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy had a close-up of the Spanish National Transplant Organisation (ONT) headquarters this week.

And he came away more than impressed, saying it was a fine example of solidarity among Spaniards, and a tool to help raise Spain’s profile around the world.

Rajoy praised the “extraordinary work” and professional nature of this body throughout its 25-year history, as well as the dedication and perseverance of its director, Rafael Matesanz.

The PM stressed that the ONT represented “the strength and effectiveness of large-scale, shared objectives”, combining efforts from all the institutions that form the very backbone of the country.

“This collaborative spirit is another practical manifestation of the shared feeling of solidarity among Spaniards,” said Rajoy.

“One in four of all do-

nated organs is transplanted in a different autonomous region to that where the donor is registered. And here, as is the case in all walks of life, unity is an asset.”

He added: “No autonomous region working alone could achieve results of a similar quality and quantity without the co-operation of the other autonomous regions, and the National Health System as a whole.”

Rajoy believes solidarity to be “the best expression of our identity as Spaniards” and added: “For example, an Andalusian can live with a Catalan heart, or a Galician can have a long life, thanks to the generosity of someone from Madrid, and, so on.

“In in a never-ending virtuous circle, our country expresses a natural and normal fraternity that belongs to all Spaniards.”

The PM said the ONT, besides a source of great pride for the people of Spain, represents “a tool

to help raise Spain’s profile worldwide on a planet that now has no borders”.

He also said: “It is a boost to our international reputation and an unrivalled ambassador of the values with which we are associated.”

Rajoy recalled that Spain is the world leader in transplants, and that the Spanish model has become an international benchmark.

He went on proudly to say that Spain has held that position for 23 years, with a rate of 35.3 donors per million people - double the EU figure - adding that 14% of all transplants in the European Union and 4% of the global total take place in Spain.

“Again, Spain is world leader in solidarity and scientific excellence”, he said. To maintain that leadership, Rajoy offered the support of all Spanish institutions to the ONT and said that investment in this field should be a priority as the economic recovery takes hold.

authorised the signing of agreements to exchange information with the British Crown

Dependencies of Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man. Similarly, Spain is

heading up, together with France, Italy, Germany and the UK (the G-5), a pilot project to draw up a global and standardised system on the exchange of information based on the FATCA agreement model with the US. Negotiations to sign the double-tax treaty between Spain and Andorra derive from a commitment made during a meeting between PM Mariano Rajoy and Andorra’s Head of Government, Antoni Martí, two years ago.

Shortly after, in March 2013, Montoro and Cinca gave the go-ahead for the formal start of negotiations.

Finally, Martí has invited Rajoy to visit Andorra before the end of the year.

And he agreed to set a suitable date for this official visit, the first by a Spanish Prime Minister to the principality.

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Siam Park’s six of the best!

SIAM PARK celebrated its sixth birthday this week and the popular attraction continues to go from strength to strength.

Four million visitors have enjoyed its rides, slides, beach and wildlife since the park was opened by Her Royal Highness the Princess of Thailand, Maha Chakri Sirindhorn.

Numerous national and international awards highlight Siam Park, with its water attractions acknowledged as the most spectacular and modern theme park of the world.

And TripAdvisor recently bestowed the Best Water Park in the World’ award on Siam

Park and the 2014 Travellers Choice Award.

Siam Park offers an extensive range of activities and fun for the whole family. Excellent installations, ecological awareness and self-sufficiency are key ingredients in the success.

This magnet for tourists has scooped a number of major awards since it opened, including: *Gánigo Award 2007 (CIT - Tenerife Tourist Board, South Tenerife area) *Friends of Tourism and

Civic Awareness 2008 Award (CIT - Tenerife Tourism Board, Santa Cruz de Tenerife) *The British Guild of Travel Writers’ Tourism Awards - Globe Award 2010 *Adeje Lustral Emprendedores Turísti-

cos Award 2010 (Iluste Ayuntamiento de la Histórica Villa de Adeje) *Blue Award 2011 - Special Award, Environmental Responsibility (TUI) *European Star Award 2012 - “Best Aquatic Theme Park in Europe”

(Kirmes & Park Revue Magazine) *3rd Award - “Best Aquatic Ride in Europe” to Dragon (Kirmes & Park Revue Magazine) *Executive Board Award (WWA - World Waterpark Association) *Premio al Desarrollo Turístico Impulso Sur 2013 (Periódico Diario de Avisos) *Travellers Choice 2013 (Tripadvisor) *European Star Award “Best Waterpark 2013” (Kirmes & Park Revue Magazine) *Travellers Choice Award 2014 “Best Waterpark worldwide (Tripadvisor) *European Star Award “Best Waterpark 2014” (Kirmes & Park Revue Magazine) *1st Award “Best Aquatic Ride in Europe” to Kinnaree (Kirmes & Park Revue Magazine)

Free Wi-Fi? You are way off line!

THE worst Wi-Fi offer in Europe - that’s the tag Spain’s airports - including Tenerife North and South, have been branded.

Many international airports offer free and unlimited Wi-Fi, and in Russia, Italy and France, it is a stand-

ard service for travellers. But though Spain has some of the busiest airports in Europe, passengers are allowed to “enjoy” just 15 free minutes of Wi-Fi before being charged a fortune for the service, according to a major new survey.

Like most things at an airport, Spanish Wi-Fi is extremely expensive.

Travellers have to pay 4.50 euros

for an hour’s connection, and 9.90 euros for two hours.

These prices place the Spanish airfields (Alicante, BarcelonaEl Prat, Gran Canaria, Madrid, Malaga, Palma de Mallorca and Tenerife) alongside the most expensive in the continent.

Rome-Fiumicino, Amsterdam, Dublin, Prague, Moscow or Paris-Orly, for example, of-

fer unlimited free wireless access.

A Skyscanner study for the Wi-Fi service at 50 major Europe airports reveals that 96% of travellers believe airports should offer free Wi-Fi (46% already comply), and only one-third of respondents would be willing to pay one euro for an hour’s connection.

Also, 71% of passen-

gers admitted that Wi-Fi is really important, and is used to talk to family and friends (33%), surfing (30%), read emails (22%), access social networks (10%) or work items (5%).

Add to this that many travellers have to be in the airport at least two hours before catching the flight (without unexpected delays), and the need to access the network be-

comes extremely necessary.

In a totally globalised world, with new technologies as standard, it seems peculiar that Spanish airports offer free Wi-Fi for just 15 minutes.

Even London airports allow 45 minutes free.

But Aena, which controls the Spanish airports, has no plans to change its current “service”.

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Fighter Craig loses his battle LIKE many people, we were shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of Craig Coleby on Wednesday.

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

Quiet man was the most famous of all WHERE has 2014 gone … and today I’m asking myself whether it really has been three years since the first Starmus Festival.

As you will have read on Page 3, it’s a stunning line-up and quite a coup for Tenerife to have the likes of Stephen Hawking here.

Which reminds me.

Why hasn’t he been knighted?

I’m really looking forward to his speech, but for me it’s all about the astronauts.

I will be seeking out Charlie Duke, in particular. You can keep your sportsmen, because the guys who were strapped to a rocket are real heroes.

I always remember Alan Shepard’s quote: “It’s a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realise that one’s safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract.”

At Starmus in 2011, I shook hands with Buzz Aldrin and Jim Lovell. Buzz was not in the best of form, but Lovell was lovely.

The day beforehand, I watched Apollo 13 for the millionth time - and watched it with his audio commentary.

I asked Jim how close the film was to reality and told me: “Very!

Well apart from all that room they had in their spaceship.”

And then, in the corner of the room, minding his own business, was another elderly gentleman. Like most famous people, he was much smaller than I imagined.

I introduced myself and he was happy to talk for a few minutes.

Actually, it was less than five minutes, but to me it felt like halfan-hour. He was humble, softly-spoken and, even after 40 years, not interested in fame.

When I got back to the office, I told my colleague and he was gutted as he couldn’t make it for some silly, longforgotten reason. He regrets it to this day, and it was a lesson in saying Yes. A couple of months later the world lost that quiet man, the pioneer who first set foot on the moon.

I will never forget meeting Neil Armstrong, and Thank-You Starmus for allowing me to achieve a dream.

Maybe this week, someone else will say the same thing.

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

Craig was a popular member of the community and had been in Tenerife for many years.

He had been battling cancer, and did so with a smile and a fierce determination. His mother, Maureen, has asked us to mention the following: Craig Andrew Coleby 4/9/1969-17/9/2014

Beloved son of Maureen and Tony Proud papa to Adam, brother to Shaun Owner of Kandi Lounge, Puerto Colon Passed away peacefully on Wednesday (17th Sept) after a brave and courageous fight, right until the end.

A service will be held at Adeje Cemetery Church tomorrow (Saturday) at 11am.

There will then be a celebration of Craig’s life at the Kandi Lounge afterwards. No flowers, but donations please to Cancer Research.

Dress code - No black!

Youngsters are priced out THE price of houses in most UK regions have increased dramatically this year, which means a generation of young people will need to be mega rich to get on to the property ladder.

New figures from the Office for National Statistics have revealed the average UK price is now £272,000, up 11% from £245,000, while the gap between house prices in the capital and the rest of the UK continues to grow.

July’s surge in growth was at the fastest annual pace seen in seven years.

The average London house now costs £514,000 , which is up £15,000 in a month and £76,000 on a year earlier, according to July figures from the ONS. The typical starter home is 13.5% more expensive than it was a year ago, and the biggest annual increase recorded since March 2005.

Critics believe a generation of young people’s dreams will disappear as they continue to live in their childhood bedrooms.

Shelter Chief Executive Campbell Robb said:.“This shocking rise in house prices leaves even more people priced out of a stable home, “The dream of their own home is slipping so far out of reach for young people and families across the country, and the only choice they face is to become part of the ‘clipped- wing generation’, stuck living in their childhood bedrooms, or paying out dead money, or ‘generation rent’ to landlords.”

Average earnings are £24,648 a year and have been rising at just 1.7%.

An English home is worth £284,000, up from £255,000, and a Scottish property has climbed to £198,000 from £183,000.

The Welsh average is £171,000, up from £160,000, and Northern Ireland is £139,000, up from £132,000.

Those looking to buy in London face increasingly high Stamp-Duty charges because the tax

rate jumps from 3% to 4% for purchases above £500,000.

Last week’s figures from the Council of Mortgage Lenders (CML) showed that the number of mortgages handed out to first-time buyers passed 30,000 in July. It is the first time this has happened during a one-month period since August 2007.

But first-time buyers are, typically, having to borrow record amounts to get on the property ladder, the average size of a new loan taken out by this sector standing at £127,500 in July, according to the CML’s data.

The current low-interest- rate environment is helping to keep borrowing costs down, but home-owners have been warned to start thinking now about how they will cope with the prospect of higher payments when the Bank of England base rate eventually starts to move off its historic 0.5% low.

The Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors recently said that house sales were, typically, taking up to a month

longer to go through than they were at the start of the year, which it put down in part to increased lender caution.

However, property website Rightmove says it is seeing signs that strong activity is set to return to the housing market this autumn.

Housing Minister Brandon Lewis said: “This Government is committed to delivering long-term economic stability and economic growth.

“The last administration oversaw a housing boom-and-bust, and we have been picking up the pieces.

“House-building is now at its highest level since 2007 and continuing to grow, and 200,000 new affordable homes have been delivered across England since 2010.

“By tackling the deficit left by the last administration, we are helping keep down both interest rates and the number of repossessions.

“And improving the housing market remains a key part of our longterm economic plan.”

Avda. Claudio Delgado Diaz 99, Edf. Ayllon Local 2C, Pol. Ind. Las Chafiras, 38639 San Miguel De Abona, Tenerife PRINTED BY: TF Print S.A. Managing Editor & Director: Chris Elkington chris.elkington@canarianweekly.com

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Contributors: Adi Benson, Carl Pattison, Emma Swain, Geoff Huxtable, Jamie Drew, Mariano Zunino Siri, Ruth Benson, Sue McDonald, Val Sainsbury, Mike Walsh Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2014 Canarian Weekly

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Scots fire up Catalans for independence rally B A R C E L O N A’ S streets were awash with redand-yellow flags last Thursday as Catalan nationalists took a leaf out of the Scottish Yes to Independence” brigade.

The Catalans, sparked

by Scotland’s impending Independence Referendum, rallied to demand a vote on breaking away from Spain.

Thousands of people wearing shirts striped with the Catalan colours, some also waving blue-and-white Scotland flags, massed in the sunshine at the start of a rally which drew up to 500,000 demonstrators.

Scotland’s referendum, held yesterday (Thursday), really did inspire the Catalans, who want full sovereignty for their northwest region of Spain.

“Now is the time,” ran the slogan printed on T-shirts of demonstrators who paraded, amid the wail of highpitched Catalan “grallas” or oboes.

The Scottish vote came just a week after the most sensitive day of the year for Catalonia: Thursday’s “Diada”, the annual commemoration which marks its defeat and absorption by Spain.

“If a nation such as Scotland can vote, why not Catalonia?” said the region’s president,

Artur Mas, who has defied Madrid by calling a vote on Catalan independence for 9th November.

“If the Catalan population wants to vote on its future, it’s practically impossible to stop that forever,” he told the AFP news service in an interview the previous day.

Demonstrators massed in the late afternoon along two central Barcelona avenues in the shape of a giant letter V - depicting vote.

They also set up 947 symbolic ballot boxes - one for each of Catalonia’s municipal districts.

The Spanish Government fiercely opposes any move towards independence for Catalonia, calling the planned vote

by Mas illegal and vowing to block it.

But Mas said last Wednesday: “It’s absurd to pretend that could be so, and I think the Spanish Government will have to realise that.”

He has pledged to pass a regional law which, he says, will allow him to push ahead with the “consultation” vote.

But his efforts risk being thwarted by Spain’s Constitutional Court.

The Diada marks what many in the region see as the day they lost

their autonomy: 11th September,1714, when Barcelona fell to Spanish and French forces in the War of the Spanish Succession.

The official start of Thursday afternoon’s main rally was, symbolically, scheduled for 3.14pm (GMT).

Many of Catalonia’s 7.5 million inhabitants feel short-changed by the national government, which redistributes their taxes.

They want full control of their region, with its distinct Catalan language and culture.

“Our culture, our language and our traditions must be respect-

ed, and we have seen that, in this state, it is impossible,” said Bernat Pi, a 24-year-old doctoral student waving a Catalan flag and a blue-and-white Scottish Saltire one.

Catalonia formally declared itself a “nation” in 2006, but Spain’s Constitutional Court later over-ruled that claim.

Catalonia accounts for one-fifth of Spain’s economy, but it was hit hard by the financial crisis that began in 2008, fuelling a surge in proseparatist feeling.

In 2012, Barcelona saw the first of the latest series of huge Diada

demonstrations. “Three years ago we demonstrated in the Diada, and we hope this one will be definitive,” said Jordi Fradera, 43, who travelled to Barcelona early on the Thursday morning from the town of Girona.

But opponents of secession believe that cutting themselves off from Spain would be an economic disaster.

And in the town of Tarragona, south of Barcelona, as the rally took shape, the Catalan Civil Society movement called for a rival gathering to denounce independence as a “dead end”.

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Poo Police are watching you!

‘If they drop it, you bin it” - that’s the message in Santa Cruz from the Urban Land Protection (Proteu) police unit.

Dancing the night away in honour of Our Lady!

EL MEDANO celebrates its fiesta in honour of Nuestra Señora de las Mercedes de Roja (Our Lady of Mercy) over the next few days.

Last night (Thursday), the central square hosted the election of the Fiesta Queen.

And today there are more events, including a performance from

the Amazig group from 9pm, followed by dancing in the square as the Dorada Band entertain until the early hours.

On Saturday, the festivities get underway at 8.30pm. The group Las Vegas will do a set before the procession through the traditional route, which is followed by the Jose Reyes Martin band and finishing with a fireworks display!

On Sunday at 10am, there will be a parade

through the streets with folk groups Heloise Eloísa, Viñátigo, Fanfarria Peña El Casco de La Orotava, Alisios del Sur and Chinerfe.

Mass will be held at midday, and the festivities will then move beachside with performances by Chocolate and Deliciosa.

The feast day, on Wednesday, will be celebrated with the parish choir of San Pedro and Santo Domingo de Güímar from 9pm.

So far this year, 90 onthe-spot penalties of between 150-300 euros have been issued to pet owners who have not collected their doggy droppings.

That’s three times as many as in the whole of last year. But the pooch police are not just watching what is deposited on the pavement.

Proteu officers have also issued 168 fines to owners of potentiallydangerous dogs which did not have the mandatory licence, or were not chipped properly.

This is a sharp rise on the 149 recorded sanctions in 2013. These fines can reach up to 5,000 euros, although the average is around 1,000 euros.

Last November, the Proteu unit was ex-

panded to six agents, whose responsibility is the monitoring, inspection and sanction of any dog or animal crime.

Environment councillor Yuri Mas said: “They are doing a commendable job, and not just on the subject of dogs. Their presence has also increased registration of animals significantly. And they are also giving environmental information on recycling.”

The councillor added: “This unit is important on the streets to make, sure we have cleanliness. Also, they promote public awareness on issues relating to the care of the environment because if citizens were more caring and aware, a lot of money on cleaning and such actions would be saved.”

This unit has also imposed 352 fines on businesses and residents who have violated some ordinances related to the cleanliness of the city.

Specifically, 108 fines

have been levied to companies which have placed cardboard boxes outside the containers provided - and after the permitted hours.

The next most-common offence (104) has been on advertising banners on unauthorised sites, followed by acts of advertising through brochures (91) and the deposit of solid waste or garbage bags outside their containers (16).

The rest of sanctions refer to litter on the street, washing or repairing vehicles on public roads, spraying graffiti on unauthorised sites, or depositing building materials in general waste bins.

Dámaso Arteaga, Councillor for Public Works and Services, said: “Sanctions are a deterrent and raise awareness among our citizens. We have to keep insisting to ensure that all citizens meet what should be acceptable standards because we want to have a beautiful city.”

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Orange in the pink with 3.4bn-euro Jazztel deal

FRENCH telecom giant Orange has paid 3.4bn euros for Spain’s fixedline operator Jazztel, which elevates it to being an elite provider.

Orange, formally known as France Telecom, now anticipates that its combined activities will be worth 1.3bn euros.

It also means that Orange is now Spain’s second-largest fixedbroadband carrier, and the country’s third-larg-

est mobile network operator.

The offer was accepted

by Jazztel shareholders on Tuesday and marks the latest consolidation in the Spanish telecoms market.

Orange boss Stephane Richard said in a statement: “It brings together the two most dynamic players in the sector, with a real potential for growth.”

The company offered Jazztel shareholders 13 euros per share - 34% above the average closing price of the last month’s trading days - valuing Jazz-

tel at 3.4n euros. Jazztel chairman Leopoldo Fernandez Pujals, who owns a 14.5% stake in the company, was happy to accept the offer.

The deal follows Vodafone’s purchase of Spanish cable firm Ono for 7.2bn euros earlier this year.

The European Commission okayed that deal in July, judging that Vodafone’s mobile telecoms activities were largely complementary with Ono’s fixed-line services.

Which was good news for Orange officials.

Swallows’ raise a 7,000-euro Cancer Research jackpot

FUND-RAISERS at the Swallows group excelled themselves again last year when they collected a mammoth 7,000 euros for Candelaria Hospital’s Cancer Research programme.

The winter association also raised a further 4,000 euros for sponsor-

ship of two seats on the local minibus for cancer patients.

Carole and Mike Hart, who run the Los Cristianos-based group at the Apolo Centre, are pictured with members Jean and Alan Hood, who presented the cheque to Dr Javier Dorta, President of

ICIC here in Tenerife at the hospital. Doctor Puri Vila Mesa on the far right.

Doctor Dorta expressed his gratitude to the Swallows for their generosity and continued, all-round support of Cancer Research here in Tenerife.

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News

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Thailand murders: The Police hit a brick wall POLICE in Thailand admit they have “no idea” who battered British tourists Hannah Witheridge and David Miller to death.

Their semi-naked bodies were discovered on a beach in Koh Tao on Monday. But as the murder probe hit rockbottom, officers also said it was “difficult to say” whether the killers were still on the island of Koh Tao, where they were found.

The police search is now focused on a group of guitar-playing Westerners heard singing “Western songs” near the crime scene.

Police Colonel Prathum Reungthong appealed for help, saying: “We believe there were three people singing in the dark. They may have seen something or know something which could be vital. But we don’t know if they are still on the island.”

Hannah’s distraught family arrived in Bangkok to tackle police chiefs about the investigation, which has jumped erratically from one lead to another over the last five days.

Thai police even boasted on Wednesday that they had “strong evidence” in connection with the deaths. But they later admitted the DNA samples taken from the scene did not match any of their 12 suspects - among them, British brothers Christopher and James Ware, With no more arrests imminent, and an apparent lack of new leads, it is unclear to where inquiries can turn after nearly five days, in which police have jumped erratically from one lead to another.

Autopsy results indicated that 24-year-old Mr Miller, from Jersey, fought off his attackers heroically before being battered around the head, dragged into the sea and left to drown.

Police Colonel Dr Pornchai Sutheerakune, commander of Institute of Forensic Medicine, said tests revealed that he died as a result of severe blows to the head - pos-

sibly from a rock - and drowning.

He said water was found in the Briton’s lungs and that his body showed signs of being dragged, with injuries to the back of his hands.

An autopsy on 23-yearold Hannah’s body found that she had also suffered trauma to her head, and revealed evidence of sexual activity shortly before she died.

However, Maj Gen Pornchai said the tests did not necessarily indicate that she had been raped, as initially suggested. Both holidaymakers were probably killed with a bloodstained hoe found near their bodies on a beach, just 100 yards from a party they had attended earlier that night.

Tests are being carried out on blond hairs found

in Miss Witheridge’s right hand, which suggest that she had contact with a Westerner.

The victims are believed to have met three nights before they were attacked while holidaying with separate groups of friends at Koh Tao’s Sairee beach resort.

In a statement following her death, the Witheridge family, from Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, said

they were “heartbroken and utterly devastated”.

It continued: “She was selfless and caring and made each and every day that little bit more wonderful,” Earlier in the week, Hannah’s father, Anthony, who runs a holiday cottage business, was said to be “devastated” when he met police at his home in Hemsby, near Great Yarmouth.

He and her mother, who live apart, have three other children - Hannah’s two older sisters Laura, 25, and Tanya, 34, - and older brother Paul, 35.

Police officers had indicated yesterday (Thursday) that they were close to a possible breakthrough after linking six Burmese migrant workers to the murders, to no avail.

They had also taken DNA from three other migrant workers and three foreigners - including the Ware brothers.

But they are now “free to return home”, regional police commander Panya Maman told AFP. It was then reported that the police had asked them to stay on to help with the search.

Meanwhile, Thailand’s Prime Minister has apol-

ogised for suggesting that tourists in bikinis made themselves more vulnerable - comments which provoked worldwide outrage.

In an extraordinary outburst, as police searched for clues, General Prayuth Chan-O-Cha suggested that only ugly tourists were safe with beachwear on.

His remark appeared to blame Miss Witheridge for exposing herself to a brutal attack. In a speech broadcast live on Thai TV, he said: “There are always problems with tourist safety.

‘They think our country is beautiful and is safe, so they can do whatever they want, They can wear bikinis and walk everywhere. Can they be safe in bikinis ... unless they are not beautiful?’

He was last night accused of smearing the murdered woman to protect his country’s tourism industry.

Andrew Rosindell, a member of the Commons Foreign Affairs committee, said: “What is most worrying about these comments is the underlying implication about those who have been murdered that they have, somehow, brought it upon themselves.”

But in a hastily-convened press conference in Bangkok, the Prime Minister said: “I’m sorry that it hurt people. I didn’t intend to insult or criticise anyone.

“I just warned that sometimes, people have to be careful. Today Thailand is safe, except there are some bad guys - like anywhere in the world.”

The Ware brothers, who were friends of Mr Miller - Christopher and David grew up in Jersey and were lifelong friends had been sharing a room with him in the £22-anight Ocean View guest house on Koh Tao. Thailand’s seemingly idyllic island resorts can spell danger to tourists, as these brutal murders illustrate only too clearly.

Glowing travel brochure descriptions of tranquil, turquoise waters, sandy beaches and jungle walks hide the fact that serious crime is a constant factor in that part of south-east Asia.

www.canarianweekly.com 19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

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19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Quayside clean up at John Lowe golf day The tenth annual John Lowe Golf Classic was another raging success. Over 10,000 euros was raised for the AMATE charity during the day at Amarilla Golf Course.

John told Oasis Fm “It’s amazing to think that ten years ago all this started out as 8 mates having a few beers and a round of golf. Every year it just gets bigger and bigger. I’d like to thank everyone who has helped, there are so many people to thank. Thanks to the players, all the sponsors, our media partners and to Simon Shovlar who spends so much time on this event while I’m in England.”

Twenty teams teed it up and the competition was fierce. This tournament takes some winning! In the end the Quayside did the double with their teams winning both sections. Well done lads. Planning has already begun for next year’s event which will be on the 19th of September.

John Lowe Classic 2014 Results

The Paul James Trophy for Nearest the Pin on the 5th hole Mike Baker - 1.50mt Nearest the Pin on the 12th hole, sponsored by Dinistia Marion Yates - 1.58mt Winners of Division Two Quayside 1 - 57.4 pts Ray Peddlety / Graham Sanders / Neil Galley / Grant McGregor Winners of Division One and The 2014 John Lowe Classic Champions Quayside 2 - 52.1 pts Gary McEwan / David Gardiner / Nick Gardiner / Mike Parry

John Lowe Classic 2014 Team Scores Division One Quayside 2..............................................52.1 Big Rock..................................................57.8 Jolly Boys................................................58.3 Legends...................................................58.7 The Artists..............................................58.8 Bakers Dozen.........................................59.9 Robins Rockers......................................60.1 Maes Maestros.......................................61.8 Oasis FM.................................................62.6 Better Together.....................................66.7 Division TWO Quayside 1..............................................57.4 Terrace Bar.............................................58.0 Awesome Foursome..............................60.9 Dinistia 1.................................................61.7 Penny Farthing......................................62.2 Pink Ladies.............................................63.2 James Place............................................63.4 Bobs Team..............................................64.6 Dinistia 2.................................................64.6 Bamboo Beach.......................................66.4

Photos: Sir Old Golfer

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News

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

15 CW

Athletes scaling peaks to sign up for our Bluetrail THIS year’s Tenerife Bluetrail race is set to be a resounding success, with over 1,300 people already enroled far exceeding the organisers’ original estimate.

The mountain race, organised by Tenerife Cabildo, will be held on 18th October, and there are still three weeks before the registration period closes.

Those interested in competing in one of the four modes - Ultratrail, Trail, Half-Trail and Adaptada-Mediatrail can be officially enlisted until 3rd October by going to the website tenerifebluetrail.com.

As in past years, the popular Bluetrail will provide four race formats for a spectacular

trail-running race, with different characteristics for people with or without disabilities.

It is designed so that mountaineers and athletes with different levels of experience and physical fitness can participate.

Thus, the Tenerife Bluetrail pursues its integration objective, Trail-Running For All, designed to meet the

competitive needs of a wide range of athletes with and without reduced mobility.

Mountaineers and runners of all abilities and fitness levels can take part in categories designed for their requirements.

One of the races (10km) is adapted for sportsmen and sportswomen with reduced mobility: the H1, H2,

H3, H4 and H5 handbike categories.

The other three routes are Half-trail (24 km), Trail (59,700 km) and Ultratrail (93,950 km).

These are suitable for people with disabilities rated T44, T46, B1, B2 and B3.

The Ultratrail is one of the few mountaintrail races in Spain or Europe to reach an altitude of 3,000 metres.

The race centres on Puerto de la Cruz, and this year’s race has a number of new features.

These include the climb to Teide Pico Viejo and Montaña Blanca descent, and a7km reduction on the Ultratrail mode.

That distance is cut from 10km to 94 km, while the Trail mode increases its length by 7km to 59.7 km.

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News

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Baffled Phones 4U forced to ring off MOBILE network EE’s decision not to renew its contract has forced Phones 4U into administration, putting 5,596 jobs and more than 700 outlets at risk.

By George! It’s a fishy miracle

AN Australian goldfish is recovering from a “high-risk” operation after a life-threatening tumour was removed from its brain.

George, who lives in Melbourne with his owner, was put under general anaesthetic for the £125 procedure.

Dr Tristan Rich, who performed the op, told Melbourne’s 3AW radio station that the fish was now “up and about and swimming around”.

Dr Rich, from the Lort Smith Animal Hospital, added: “George had a quite large tumour on the top of his

head that was growing slowly, and it was beginning to affect his quality of life,” George’s owner was given the choice of an operation or having the fish put to sleep. “She was dedicated enough to give it a go,” said the doctor, who described the op as “fiddly”.

The fish was kept alive by pumping oxygenated pond water through its gills.

Vets say the operation went swimmingly, and that George can be discharged soon. And they expect him to live for another 20 years.

Accountancy company PwC has been appointed to see if any of the 560 stores and 160 concessions can be reopened or sold.

The high street retailer, owned by private equity firm BC Partners, says EE’s decision left them with no option. It followed a similar move from Vodafone earlier in September.

An EE spokesperson said the decision not to renew its contract was “driven by developments in the marketplace that have called into question the long-term viability of the Phones 4U business”.

The spokesperson added that the decision was also “in line with our strategy to focus on growth in our direct channels”.

Phones 4U boss David Kassler said: “If mobile network operators decline to supply us, we do not have a business.”

The company said established mobile contracts taken out through it would not be affected.

But phones ordered and not sent, such as anyone ordering the new iPhone 6 over the weekend - would be hit.

Their repairs will be completed and the phone sent back to their home address rather than a store. In a statement, PwC said: “Our initial focus will be to quickly engage with parties who may be in-

terested in acquiring all or part of the business, and to better understand the financial position and options for the company.

“The stores will remain closed while we have these conversations, and we will also be talking to network operators and suppliers, and trying to access funds to pay for the costs of the business, including wages.

“These conversations will determine whether we can re-open stores and trade, and also if and when we can pay the arrears of wages to employees.”

Networks will continue to provide mobile services to those customers with contracts, so they will be able to continue using and paying for their phone as normal.

Analyst Rahul Sharma, from Neev Capital, told the BBC the network operators’ own businesses were under pressure and the companies were trying to

shore up their profits.

He also said the EU had put pressure on their charges, most recently stamping down on roaming costs.

Mr Kassler, chief executive of Phones 4U, said it was “a very sad day” for both customers and staff.

He added: “A good company making profits of over £100m, employing thousands of decent people, has been forced into administration.” he added.

Phones 4U said the decisions by EE and Vodafone not to renew their contracts had come as “a complete shock”.

Stefano Quadrio Curzio, from BC Partners, said: “Vodafone have acted in exactly the opposite way to what they had consistently indicated to the management of Phones 4U over more than six months.

“Their behaviour appears to have been designed to inflict the maximum damage to their partner of 15 years,

giving Phones 4U no time to develop commercial alternatives.

“The company is in a healthy state and both EE and Vodafone had, until very recently, consistently indicated that they saw Phones 4u as a long-term strategic partner.”

But Vodafone said in a statement that it had been in negotiations with the high street chain for months: “We strongly reject any suggestion that we behaved inappropriately at any stage during our negotiations with Phones 4U. “Phones 4U was offered repeated opportunities to propose competitive distribution terms to enable us to conclude a new agreement, but was unable to do so.”

Sources at Phones 4U say that Dixons Carphone is now the only major place when customers can get comparisons between operators. And that, as far as Phones 4U is concerned, is not a good thing.

Dixons Carphone issued a statement saying: “We would like to offer our support to the colleagues and customers of Phones 4U. “With regards to our Phones 4U shop-in-shop colleagues, we hope to help them secure new jobs with us, and we will be opening up discussions with the administrators to agree what we can do.”

www.canarianweekly.com

News

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

These diamonds are a bride’s best friend THIS diamond-embroidered wedding dress, worth more than £4m, has been unveiled at London Fashion Week.

The bridal gown, was designed by Julien Macdonald, who said: “It’s covered with real diamonds and fresh water pearls.”

It was the highlight of the Welsh designer’s show, at the Royal Opera House, and there was much sparkle and glamour on the catwalk as Macdonald showed a range of slim-fitting pencil dresses, ruffled swimsuits and babydoll shift dresses before the wedding outfit.

He spoke of his inspiration for the collection, saying: “My bride is a mermaid that swims in a tropical sea, covered in treasure, and she lures a very handsome man” “She takes the buried treasure and translates it into her dream ethereal wedding dress - diamonds, pearls, expense, lace, glamour.

“It’s the most important day of a woman’s life and why not have the most expensive dress in the world?”

The drinks aren’t on Heineken now LONDON brewer SABMiller has had an offer for Heineken turned down because the Dutch company says the proposal is “non-actionable”.

Macdonald, who was pleased to show a bridal gown on a catwalk for the first time, added: “The finale wedding dress is worth over £4m.

More than 170 designers will have showcased their work during London Fashion Week, including Vivienne Westwood, Tom Ford and Paul Smith.

The British Fashion Council estimates the five-day event will have attracted more than £100m in orders.

Heineken, the world’s third-largest beer producer in the world, behind AB Inbev and SABMiller - based on volume - said it had “consulted with its majority shareholder” before rejecting the approach.

Heineken’s famous slogan, “Heineken refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach”, which is the pay-off line in its TV adverts, will definitely not be reaching any part of SABMiller.

In a statement, it said the founding Heineken family, which still owns half of the firm, wanted to preserve the firm as “an independent company”.

And the statement

Adeje’s Polish cinema treat ADEJE Cultural Centre is hosting a Polish Film Festival until Thursday (25th Sept), in conjunction with the Canarian Polish Association (ARKA) and Madrid’s Polish Cultural Institute.

Nayra Medina Bethencourt, Adeje Cultural Councillor, says: “The seventh art, or film-making, is always an excellent cultural outlet and allows us alternative visions of many things.

“This is not the first time the council has collaborated with ARKA, and these films will, no doubt, have high artistic values.”

Newer Polish films will be screened, and the variety of styles to be featured will allow the public to get to know modern Polish cinema.

During the cycle, newer Polish films will

be screened. The variety of styles that will be featured during the film cycle will allow the public to get to know modern Polish cinema and at the same time reflect on wider universal questions, regardless of where the questioner comes from.

Schedule Friday September 19, 7pm - Operacja Dunaj (Operación Danubio), 9pm –Pregi (Marcas) Thursday September 25, 7pm –Sennosć (Somnolencia) Friday September 26, 7pm – Piata Pora Roku (La quinta estación del año) , 9pm – Galerianki (Mall Girls) All films are being shown in the original version, in Polish, with Spanish subtitles, and entry is free for every screening.

This cycle of Polish film will be accompanied by an exhibition of cinema posters, “La Escuela Polaco en los años 80” (the Pol-

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ish School in the 80s).

The show brings together the most representative and creative works from the named decade, including examples from such well known names within the industry such as Adrzej Pagowski, Wieslaw Walkuski, Kaja Renkas, Wiktor Sadowski o Mieczyslaw Gorowski.

According to ARKA, “Over half a century ago the world began to recognise the work of the Polish School of Posters, and we have been working to perfect this artistic genre”. The Association says the fame of this art form relies upon two fundamental factors, “on the one hand the work of Polish teachers trained in the era prior to the second world war, and on the other, the way younger people have adapted to the art of the poster, which began to evolve in the 1950s”.

added: “The Heineken family and Heineken NV’s management are confident that the company will continue to deliver growth and shareholder value.”

The family own just over 50% of the brewer, via Heineken Holding, while a further 12% is owned by Mexico’s FEMSA. Heineken’s statement was prompted by a Bloomberg story, suggesting SABMiller had approached the Dutch firm to protect itself

from a potential takeover. There has been speculation within the brewing industry for months that SABMiller has been targeted by Anheuser-Buschnheuser-BuschInBev, the world’s No.1 brewer.

“Should AB InBev choose to make a bid, which we think is likely, the chance of success has increased,” said Eddy Hargreaves, an analyst at London’s Canaccord Genuity.

“SABMiller’s approach may cause some short-

term share-price excitement, but we think Heineken’s decision is final.”

SABMiller gained 5.3% to £35.855 per share in London, while Heineken rose 1.5%.

Apart from its namesake beer, the company Heineken also produces Sol and Strongbow Apple ciders.

SABMiller is the second-largest beer-maker in the world, selling about 21 billion litres of lager worldwide.

Its beer brands include Miller Genuine Draft, Grolsch and Peroni Nastro Azzurro. The company also produces soft drinks, and it is one of the world’s largest bottlers of Coca-Cola drinks.

For the full financial year to March 2014, SABMiller earned £17bn in revenues.

Its shares are traded on the London stock exchange, and it also has a secondary listing on the Johannesburg stock exchange.

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A Different View

By Mike Walsh A MAGAZINE feature on Americans renouncing their citizenship gave me pause for thought. Not for the first time, I wondered at the fickleness of fate that decides the country we are born in.

Irishman George Bernard Shaw said: “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.”

Why do we surrender our lives and loyalties to a country, just because we happen to be born in it?

Perhaps, because of my dual-nationality and travelling experiences, I consider my nationality largely irrelevant.

Passport to indiffer-

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS...

ence. My parents were passionate Irish republicans. Although I understood their sentiments, it is a cause that leaves me cold. I cannot identify with the country whose passport I value.

Wherever in England I settled, I was perfectly at home. I did not dwell on regional cultures and loyalties. It intrigued me that while I got on fine with all Londoners ,there was rivalry between those born north or south of the Thames.

Spain brings to the surface different reflections. I like its lifestyle, climate, low cost of living and outstanding health service.

However, birds of a feather flock together, and so I tend to identify more with northern Europeans than to Mediterranean Europeans.

The Canada of European Despite being something of a Europhile,

I had no idea what to expect when obliged to spend several months in Latvia.

I imagined a dreary, rain-soaked, impoverished casualty of Sovietusterity. Setting my jaw, I did what a man has to do.

Alighting at Riga Airport, I was accompanied

to Riga’s city centre, whereupon my prejudices fell away. Riga, one of the most enchanting medieval cities imaginable, enjoys a vibrant, modern lifestyle.

By the time I reached Sigulda, 60 kilometres inland, I was won over.

In fact, I had declared myself Latvian.

Size does matter As the summer weeks passed by, I travelled throughout that lovely Baltic state. Discovering its countryside and history, I shared its culture and made many Latvian friends, who opened their hearts and doors to me.

It was not difficult to realise why Latvia has been dubbed the Canada of Europe. The size of Belgium and Holland combined, Latvia boasts 3,000 lakes, 2,000 rivers and is 40% forest, with wildlife to match.

The Daily Mail published a traveller’s survey that revealed the ancient Baltic nation to be the most beautiful land on earth.

Said to have the oldest flag in Europe, I felt that I had, at last, discovered my homeland.

There are 50 countries in Europe, and yet it is the world’s smallest continent. My aim is to visit them all.

Latvia remains my preferred choice but, for reasons of practicality, I am unlikely to spend more than summers there.

Do our readers suffer from a homeland identity crisis? Is home where

the hearth is, or where the heart is?

Tale of three papers The cynic would have it that journalists are people who scribble on the backs of advertisements. That may be so, but what they write will be published only if it stays within a set of rules.

Writing for the media in three parts of our much-troubled world gives insight into wildlydiffering codes of news reporting. I write and broadcast for US media.

Whatever criticisms I have of the US, it must be read (sic) that they do value freedom of expression.

As I pull the microphone towards me, I know I can say more or less whatever comes to my politically-incorrect mind. However, to voice the same opinions on German, French or UK radio would be reckless, to say the least.

The right to Freedom of Expression is enshrined in the UN Charter, but the highminded mantra is not to be taken too seriously. Each country in the EU will abide by its own rules.

An elastic concept freedom of expression stretches further in some countries than it does in others. What is illegal in Germany or France is not regarded as contentious in Spain or Ireland. This is, no doubt, on account of their different histories and, therefore, sensitivities. Eastern Euro-

pean media can be said to be black and white and red all over. Editors in former Soviet Bloc countries grow pale at the mere sight of Western Europe’s brash tabloids. They never push boundaries. If submitted content is likely to even offend the establishment mildly, they don’t publish it; simples.

The Berlin Wall may well have come tumbling down, but the post-Soviet media mindset stands as straight as the honour guard at Lenin’s mausoleum.

Unlikely to be found in main media tabloids is humour, criticism of public figures, challenging columnists, off-beat fashion or anything that could be tainted by sensationalism.

If celebrity gossip, rape, pillage, murder, scandal and mayhem float your boat, then don’t go looking for it in the post-Soviet press.

You will be disappointed.

Eastern European editors are gatekeepers and guardians of strait-laced conformity. Expect pages of press releases issued by various central and local government departments. There will be an abundance of political comment penned by po-faced intellectuals, written in doublespeak.

I imagine that the aim of most Western media editors is to engage with their readers. Unafraid of pushing boundaries, I recall a Euro Weekly news editor inviting me to be challenging and unafraid of controversy.

Had I been an Eastern European scribbler I would have been aghast at this suggestion. Count our blessings, Eastern European journalism is probably a generation removed from the editorial content of the UK’s tabloids.

The Western media, for all its faults, and it has many, is perhaps the best compromise between licence and political conformity.

www.canarianweekly.com

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19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

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Guide

Don't Miss...

Sunday 21st September, ITV1, 21.00 Returning to Downton in 1924, a new Labour government heralds changes that are being felt throughout the land, as well as above and below stairs.

Plans for a war memorial unexpectedly pit Carson against Robert and Mrs Hughes. While unwanted female attention spells trouble for Jimmy, Thomas gives Baxter an ultimatum. Branson’s burgeoning friendship causes Robert concern while Mary is ready to find love again. Cracks appear in Edith and Drewe’s special arrangement as she increasingly struggles to keep her emotions in check; this may have disastrous consequences for the whole household.

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TV Guide

W C choice

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Friday Friday Friday 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15 .................. Rip Off Britain 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...............Street Patrol UK 11:45 ..... Caught Red Handed 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15..................... Pressure Pad 15:00............................ Escape to the Country 15:45............. A Taste of Britain 16:30................................ Flog It! 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00........... The One Show

Big School

19:30...A Question of Sport 20:00................. EastEnders

BBC1, 21.30

20:30.... Would I Lie to You?

When Ofsted arrive to conduct an impromptu inspection, Greybridge School is thrown into even more chaos than usual. Tonight’s show features a guest appearance from Sylvestra Le Touzel.

Not only does the inspectors’ presence seriously mess with Ms Baron’s (Frances de la Tour) enjoyment of her confiscated bag of marijuana, it also spreads panic throughout the teaching staff as they worry about their futures. Cheating at basketball, word association, fiendishly tight costumes and lots and lots of bribery - when it comes to hanging onto their jobs, there’s nothing the Greybridge staff won’t resort to.

21:00 .................... Boomers

CW 21:30..............Big School choice 22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25..... BBC London News 22:35........ National Lottery Stars 2014 23:20............ Outnumbered 23:50.................. EastEnders Omnibus

06:05 ................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:05 ............ Street Patrol UK 07:50.... Caught Red Handed 08:20 ..................Animal Saints and Sinners 09:05......... Super Senses: The Secret Power of Animals 10:05.................... First Time on the Front Line 10:35 ........... The Travel Show 11:00........................ BBC News 12:00 .......... The Daily Politics 13:00......Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 13:30 ........... Cash in the Attic 14:15.... Ready, Steady, Cook 15:00...Celebrity MasterChef 15:45.................... Cairngorms: A Year in the Wild 16:45 .................... Great British Railway Journeys 17:15 ............. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00................ Two Tribes 18:30 .................Eggheads 19:00....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00..............Mastermind 20:30...... Lorraine Pascale: How to be a Better Cook 21:00.......The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 21:30..... Gardeners’ World 22:00................ The Perfect Morecambe and Wise

06:00 ................. Good Morning Britain 10:00 .................... This Morning 10:55 ............................ITV News 11:00 .................... This Morning 12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ......................Who’s Doing the Dishes?

17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00..................... ITV News London 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30..... Coronation Street 20:00 .............. Gino’s Italian Escape 20:30 ..... Coronation Street 21:00........Piers Morgan’s CW Life Stories choice 22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40......................Hot Fuzz

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TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

y Friday Friday 19th September 06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:10 ............... King of Queens 08:00............. Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 .................................Frasier 10:30 ............ Undercover Boss 11:30 ....................Four in a Bed 12:05 ....................Four in a Bed 14:10 .....................Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00................. The Million Pound Drop 21:00 ......... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 22:00..............Alan Carr: CW Chatty Man choice 23:05.......... Jon Richardson Grows Up

06:00..................... Children’s TV 08:35 ..............Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:50 .......Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 .......... The Dog Rescuers 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ............................... Britain’s Deadliest Roads 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ... Magic Beyond Words: The Jk Rowling Story 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30.......... 5 News Tonight 19:00 .................. World War II in Colour 20:00 ............. Storage: Flog the Lot! 21:00 ............Body of Proof 22:00........................... NCIS 23:55........................ Access

06:00..... Beauty and the Geek

06:10................... Total Wipeout

06:55........................ Emmerdale

07:00 .....Primeval: New World

07:30 ........................Emmerdale

08:00........................... Babylon 5

07:55...................... Dinner Date

09:00................................ The Bill

08:50.... The Only Way is Essex

10:00................................ The Bill

09:35 .............................. The Real Housewives of DC

11:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

12:00 .............................. DIY SOS

11:25 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

13:00..... MasterChef Australia

12:15 ........................Emmerdale 12:50 ........................Emmerdale 13:15..... You’ve Been Framed!

13:50...The Jeremy Kyle Show 14:55...The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:05 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:00.......................The Real Housewives of Atlanta 19:00 ................You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ...................Tomorrow Never Dies 22:25 .................The 40 Year Old Virgin

12:30 .............................. DIY SOS 14:30....... Hollywood Treasure 15:00 .......Hollywood Treasure 15:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00...........Dynamo Revealed 18:00............. Border Patrol 18:30............. Border Patrol 19:00 ................ MasterChef Australia 20:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 21:00 ......... Motorway Cops 22:00 .............. Booze Patrol Australia 23:00................ Doctor Who

06:00.................... The Real A&E

06:00 ....................... Airline USA

07:10............................. Flip Men

06:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis

07:00 ........................... Futurama

07:00........ Nothing to Declare

08:00............................. Top Gear

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

07:30 ........................... Futurama

08:00 ....................The Real A&E

09:00.............. Storage Hunters

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00 ...........NCIS: Los Angeles

08:30 ....................The Real A&E 09:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

10:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

09:00................ Without a Trace

10:00........... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00.................... Hawaii Five-0

09:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

11:00..............................Top Gear

11:00 ..................................House

13:00 ...........NCIS: Los Angeles

10:00............. Motorway Patrol

13:00 ..............Storage Hunters

12:00 ..................................House

14:00 ...........NCIS: Los Angeles

11:00.............. UK Border Force

13:00............. Stargate Atlantis

15:00..................................... Glee 16:00........................... Futurama

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 15:00 .............................Top Gear

17:00................... The Simpsons

13:00 ................Criminal Minds

17:00 ..............Storage Hunters

15:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise

17:30 ........................... Futurama

15:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

18:00..................... Top Gear

16:00 ..................................House 17:00 ..................................House

17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

19:00 .........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

20:00............. The Last Ship

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

19:00.......... Without a Trace

21:00................ A League of Their Own

19:00..........Chopper Squad

21:00.... Would I Lie to You?

20:00.................Elementary

20:00........ Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets

22:00 ............50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy

22:00.................. CSI: Miami

22:20 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

22:00................ Blue Bloods

23:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles

23:00.........Sex and the City

23:20 ................................QI

23:35.........Sex and the City

23:55 .............Only Connect

23:00 .............The Leftovers

18:30............ The Simpsons 19:30............ The Simpsons

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

14:00 ............... Without a Trace

18:00................ Blue Bloods

21:00 ............... Blue Bloods

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 .....................................Glee 08:00 .....................Suburgatory 08:30 ................Happy Endings 09:00.... Rules of Engagement 09:30............ Melissa and Joey 10:00 ........................... Charmed 11:00... The Tomorrow People 12:00 ...........................Hollyoaks 12:35 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 13:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ............ Melissa and Joey 15:30.... Rules of Engagement 16:00...................The Tomorrow People 17:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ..............Suburgatory 20:00 ...................How I Met Your Mother 21:00..................... Die Hard

06:00.................... Football Gold 07:00........................... WWE Raw 09:00............................. Ringside 10:00................... Super League Highlights 11:00.......... Football’s Greatest Players 11:30.............. Barclays Premier League World 12:00 ............................. Ringside 13:00 ....................Super League Highlights 14:00............... Barclays Premier League World 14:30.................... Football Gold 15:00 ....................Super League Highlights 16:00 ............................. Ringside 17:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview 17:30............................ Football’s Greatest Players 18:00.... Football Freestyler 18:30 ................The Fantasy Football Club

21 CW

W C choice

Alan Carr: Chatty Man Channel 4, 22:00

Funnyman Alan Carr welcomes US comedy legend and movie star Dan Aykroyd to the studio to chat about his amazing career and his forthcoming projects. Alan is also joined by Kate Hudson and Zach Braff, stars of the new movie Wish I Was Here, comedian Lee Mack discusses his latest live stand-up tour, Lee Mack: Hit the Road Mack, and there’s music from UK pop star Professor Green, who performs Little Secrets live in the studio.

Piers Morgan’s Life Stories ITV1, 21:00

Bear Grylls joins Piers Morgan to reflect on his life and career as one of the world’s most famous TV adventurers and all-round action man.

He talks about having to perform extreme survival challenges.

He relives the trauma of being sent to boarding school at a young age and opens up about serving in the SAS, and his ascent of Everest at the age of 23. He also talks about a freak parachuting accident which nearly left him paralysed, his role as Chief Scout and he responds candidly to the allegations of fakery that have plagued him during his television career.

CW 22

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TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Saturday Saturday Sa 06:00 ............................Breakfast 10:00 ...Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 ..............The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 12:00.......................... BBC News 12:10................. Football Focus 12:50 .......Saturday Sportsday 13:00 ....................Bargain Hunt 14:00................... Homes Under the Hammer 15:00...Escape to the Country 16:00 ........................ Final Score 17:10 ................... F1: Grand Prix Qualifying 18:25 .................. BBC News 18:40 ....................Pointless 19:30 ............... Doctor Who 20:20 .............. The National Lottery: In It to Win It

Saturday Numbers for ber are: 19th Septem

06:10 ....................The Falcon in Hollywood 07:15 ........... The Falcon in San Francisco 08:20 ..............The Trials of Life 09:10 ..............The Trials of Life 10:00 .......................... Map Man, Bartholomew 10:30........ South Africa Walks 11:00 ...........Great Continental Railway Journeys 12:00 .................James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 12:25 ............ Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds 12:55 ........... Rick Stein’s Island Escapes 13:55 ..............Talking Pictures 14:35........ Ladies in Lavender 16:10 .............................Six Days, Seven Nights 17:45 ................... £100k House: Tricks of the Trade 18:45 ....................... Flog It! 19:30 ................Dad’s Army 20:00 .................. Operation Stonehenge: What Lies Beneath 21:00 ....................Defiance

22:00................... BBC News

Thriller based on a true story.

In 1940s Eastern Europe, four Jewish brothers flee to the forest to escape persecution and death at the hands of Nazi forces after their parents are murdered. Once there they find more refugees are using the forest as a hideout, so they band together to share resources and attempt to outwit the German forces, who are always on their tail.

22:20....... Match of the Day

23:05...........Peaky Blinders

Bonus Ball

21:10 .....................Casualty

06:00 ..................................... CITV 09:25............................ ITV News 09:30 .........The Hungry Sailors 10:25 ......... Murder, She Wrote 11:25............................. ITV News and Weather 11:30............................ Columbo 13:30..................... Catchphrase 14:15..................... I Never Knew That About Britain 14:45 ......................The X Factor 15:50 .................. The Incredible Hulk 18:00 ..........Local News and Weather 18:15............. ITV News and Weather 18:30 ............... You’ve Been Framed!

19:00................... The Chase Celebrity Special. Bradley Walsh hosts another celebrity edition of the quiz show in which four well-known celebrities work together to try and win thousands of pounds for charity. Can they outwit the ruthless quiz genius known as The Chaser? Giving it their best shot this time are ITV News presenter Alastair Stewart, Atomic Kitten’s Natasha Hamilton, queen of clean Kim Woodburn and TV presenter Keith Chegwin.

20:00 ...............The X Factor 21:20 .........Through the Keyhole

CW

choice

22:20 ............. ITV News and Weather 22:40 ..........The Shawshank Redemption

Through the Keyhole ITV1, 21:20 Keith Lemon presents a brand new version of the classic game show. Let loose to rummage around three mystery celebrity houses, Keith unearths clues to the identities of the famous homeowners. Using their powers of observation and the assistance of the studio audience, can the all-star panel guess whose home it is?

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

aturday Saturday 20th September 06:00............ Transworld Sport

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:55...... Great Scottish Swim

07:55.................. Little Princess

07:55 ...........The Morning Line

06:00........................ Emmerdale Omnibus

06:10 ................................The Bill

08:10............... The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky

08:35............ Coronation Street Omnibus

08:00................................ The Bill

10:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

08:25 .... Wanda and the Alien

10:30................................. Frasier

09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

12:15 ......................The X Factor 13:15 ..................... Take Me Out 14:45 ....................Best of You’ve Been Framed!

15:45....................... You’ve Been Framed! A-Z 16:45........................ You’ve Been Framed!

17:15 ..................Cats and Dogs 18:15 .....................FYI Daily 18:20 ........... Cats and Dogs 19:00 ....................... Twister 20:00 .....................FYI Daily 20:05 ....................... Twister 21:20.......... The Xtra Factor

09:00 ............Weekend Kitchen with Waitrose

10:55................................. Frasier 11:25 .....The Big Bang Theory 11:55 .....The Big Bang Theory 12:25.................. The Simpsons 12:55 ..................... Gadget Man 13:25 ........... Channel 4 Racing 16:10 ...... Come Dine with Me 16:40 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:10 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:45 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:45 ........ Channel 4 News 19:05 ............ Sarah Beeny’s Double Your House for Half the Money

08:45 ...................... Rupert Bear

09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm 09:30 .......................... LazyTown 10:00 ................... Chinese Food in Minutes 10:15 ................ Ultimate Police Interceptors 11:15......... Police Interceptors 12:20...... The Battle of the V.1 14:25.................................. U-571 16:35............ The Great Escape 20:05 ...........The First Great Escape 21:00 ............... World War II in Colour

11:00...................... The X Factor

22:20........... Celebrity Juice 23:05 ...............The X Factor

07:00................................ The Bill 09:00................................ The Bill 10:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 10:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 12:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 13:00........................ MasterChef Australia 14:00 .............. Masterchef New Zealand 15:00 ......... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 18:00....... Jamie’s American Road Trip 19:00 .............Bondi Rescue 19:30..............Bondi Rescue 20:00......... Neighbourhood Blues 21:00 .............. Booze Patrol Australia 21:30 .............. Booze Patrol Australia

22:00...... Live International Boxing

The UK’s biggest talent search sees thousands audition for the life-changing prize of a millionpound recording contract and a guaranteed shot at the Christmas Number One.

06:00............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10 ..................... Driving Wars

06:00........................ Cleverdicks

06:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:00...........................Inside RAF Brize Norton

07:00 .........Networks of Power

08:00 ....................The Real A&E

09:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00 .............................. Seinfeld

09:00.................... The Real A&E

10:00.............. Storage Hunters

09:00 .............................. Seinfeld

10:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model

10:30 ..............Storage Hunters

09:30 .......... The Bachelor King

11:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

11:00.................... Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

12:00 ............................. Flip Men

11:00 ................... Making of the Bachelor King

20:00.......Grand Designs

CW choice 21:55....... 5 News Weekend

21:00................ The A-Team 23:20 .................Sexy Beast

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .....................The F1 Show 10:00 ....................... Soccer A.M. 12:00................World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 13:00 ................ Modern Family 14:00 ........................The Middle 15:00 ................................Harrow 17:00....................... Twin Towns 18:00 ............ The Simpsons 19:00 ............Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 20:00...............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

12:30 ............................. Flip Men

12:00 ....................... The Biggest Loser USA

13:00 .............................Top Gear

13:00 ....................Fat: The Fight of My Life

14:30 ..............Storage Hunters

14:00............... Border Security 14:30............... Border Security 16:00.............. UK Border Force 17:00........ Nothing to Declare 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 18:30.... Nothing to Declare

21:00........... Mrs. Doubtfire

20:00.................. CSI: Miami

23:25............. Hawaii Five-0

21:00.......... Criminal Minds

14:00 ..............Storage Hunters 15:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing 16:00 .............................Top Gear 17:00............................. Top Gear 19:00 ...........................QI XL 20:00 ...........................QI XL

22:00 .................. The Strain 23:40......... Motorway Cops

12:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 14:00........................... Team Sky: Road to Glory 15:00 .......................Blue Bloods 16:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00.......... Without a Trace 19:00 ......... Without a Trace 20:00........ Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets

22:00 ............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

21:00 .... Boardwalk Empire

23:00.........Russell Howard’s Good News Extra

23:50 .......Game of Thrones

22:15 .............The Leftovers

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25........... Make it or Break it 07:10 .......................... Desperate Housewives 08:00 .....................................Glee 09:00..................... Suburgatory 09:30 .....................Suburgatory 10:00..................... Suburgatory 11:30........................... How I Met Your Mother 12:30 ............ Melissa and Joey 13:30 .....The Big Bang Theory 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 14:30 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 15:30 ..................... 2 Broke Girls 16:30..... The Big Bang Theory 17:30.... Made in Chelsea NYC 18:35...................... The 100 19:30.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 20:00 ...The Big Bang Theory 21:00...................Get Him to the Greek 23:15....The Big Bang Theory 23:40 .......... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview 06:30 ............................. Ringside 07:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............. Game Changers 10:00 ....................... Soccer A.M. 12:00 .............................. Football 14:30....... Pro 12 Rugby Union 16:45....... Ford Saturday Night Football Live 20:00 .......... Saturday Night Football - Game of the Day 22:00 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice 23:30 .......... Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

23 CW

W C choice

Grand Designs Channel 4, 20:00

GP Peter Berkin and his wife Chard, an alternative medicine practitioner, have decided to build a new home at the bottom of their garden. The problem is, right from the start they can’t agree on any part of the design - even the basic shape. Peter is a serial hobbyist who, according to his wife, never finishes anything. He wants the new house to feature a workshop where he can build a plane. He wants the house to be round. Chard however wants it to be square and practical.

Peter aims to spend £400K, Chard wants to keep the budget around £200K. With Peter building as much of the house as he can himself, helped by his mates, and Chard taking control of the money and schedule, it looks like a recipe for disaster. As the house slowly goes up, round and complete with plane workshop, it’s crunch time. Even if it ever gets finished, will Chard be willing to live in it?

CW 24

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TV Guide

W C choice

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Sunday Sunday Sund 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ....................... Countryfile

06:00 ..................................... CITV

07:40 ............Match of the Day

07:00 .....................Monty Don’s Italian Gardens

09:25 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal

09:00....................... The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 ... Sunday Morning Live 11:00................ Sunday Politics

13:10 ................Weather for the Week Ahead

15:00...................... The X Factor

13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

11:50............. Lorraine Pascale: I Can Help You Cook?

Detective drama which focuses around the life of Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby and his efforts to solve the various crimes that take place in the fictional English county of Midsomer.

BBC1, 21.00

15:00 ..............The Great British Bake Off

12:20............ Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds

16:00 ..................Points of View

12:50 ...........Rick Stein’s Island Escapes

16:15............................... Lifeline

13:50 ..................Four for Texas

16:25................ Songs of Praise

15:45 ................................Flog It!

17:00.................. F1: Grand Prix

16:30..... Equator: Around the Hot Zone

18:35................... BBC News 18:50 .......... Regional News 19:00 ................ Countryfile 20:00 ....Antiques Roadshow

21:00..................Our Girl CW choice 22:00 .................. BBC News 22:20 .......... Regional News 22:25 .....................Weather 22:30.... Match of the Day 2 23:50 ............. The Resident

The illustrious Sunday Night At The Palladium, one of the UK’s best loved entertainment shows is back on ITV. Some of the UK’s best-loved comics and entertainers will host one show each and introduce some of the biggest stars from music and comedy onto one of the world’s most famous stages. There will also be jaw dropping specialty acts from around the world plus surprise guests.

Hosts lined up include actor, comedian and presenter Rob Brydon, awardwinning actor and comic Jack Whitehall, presenter and stand-up Jimmy Carr, entertainer Stephen Mulhern and entertainer, actor and presenter Bradley Walsh.

The second show in the series will be hosted by comedian, presenter and actor Jason Manford, guests confirmed to appear include; Chart-toppers Maroon Five fly in for a rare UK appearance, disco legends Earth, Wind and Fire perform some of their classic hits, new pop sensation Ella Henderson unveils her new song ‘Glow’, and the bright new star of the West End Production of Evita Madalena Alberto graces the stage to perform ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.’ Plus Canadian acrobats Les 7 Doigts de la Main and comedy from Hal Cruttenden.

The 2,200 strong audience inside the Palladium will also be featured and there will be huge surprises for the most unsuspecting audience members who will compete to win some incredible prizes.

11:30 ................Carry on Follow That Camel

10:20 ............Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

14:00............................ Escape to the Country

ITV1, 19.00

11:25 .............................ITV News and Weather

13:00.......................... BBC News

Our Girl

Sunday Night At The Palladium

08:30 ............. The Beechgrove Garden

10:25 ......... Murder, She Wrote

09:00......................The Football League Show

12:15.....................MOTD2 Extra

Medic Molly Dawes (Lacey Turner) is over the moon when she is sent to Afghanistan on one of the army’s final deployments.

But when she arrives she quickly learns that she needs to prove herself to her new platoon. More than once she fails to make a good impression - but worse still, she has to deal with Smurf (Iwan Rheon), an old flame who is part of the regiment and who is making her life harder than it should be.

She gets no help or support from her demanding commanding officer, the handsome Captain James (Ben Aldridge), who doesn’t seem to notice just how brilliant she is at her job. The challenge is on for Molly to prove her worth to him. But when an unforeseen event puts a soldier’s life in danger, Molly must show she’s more than just one of the boys - she’s Our Girl.

08:00............ Gardeners World

17:30 .... Penguins on a Plane: Great Animal Moves 18:30 ...........Rugby League 19:30................ Dad’s Army 20:00 ............Dragons’ Den 21:00 .................This World 22:00 ......... Mock the Week 22:30 ..........Peaky Blinders 23:30...........Peaky Blinders

13:20 ............. Beethoven’s 2nd 16:15........ Midsomer Murders

18:10................ You’ve Been Framed!

18:35.......... Local News and Weather 18:45.............. ITV News and Weather 19:00....Sunday Night at the Palladium

CW

choice

20:00 ...............The X Factor 21:00 ........Downton Abbey 22:30............. ITV News and Weather 22:50.....The Unforgettable...

Factual documentary diving into the lives of some of Britain’s most influential comedians, comics and actors.

23:20..... Aviva Premiership Rugby Highlights

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

day Sunday Sunday 21st September 05:40 ...................................... NFL

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:05 ...................................... NFL

07:40.................. City of Friends

07:00........... Street Velodrome

07:55.................. Little Princess

07:55........................... British GT

08:10 ..........The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky

08:30............................. Ironman 09:00................................. Frasier 09:30 ................Sunday Brunch 12:30 ................George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 13:30 ................................The Big Bang Theory 14:00 ................................The Big Bang Theory

08:25 .... Wanda and the Alien 08:40...................... Rupert Bear 09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm 09:30.......................... LazyTown 10:00................................. Access

14:30................................ The Big Bang Theory

10:05 .........Police Interceptors

15:00 .................. The Simpsons

12:00......... Police Interceptors

15:30 .............................Star Trek: Insurrection

13:00......... Police Interceptors

17:30 ...............Deal or No Deal

15:40................... See Spot Run

18:30 ........ Channel 4 News

17:35 ................... Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

11:00 .........Police Interceptors

13:55........... Are We Done Yet?

06:00 ................... The Hot Desk 06:10..........................Beauty and the Geek 06:55........................ Emmerdale Omnibus 09:40............ Coronation Street Omnibus 12:10............................ America’s Got Talent 14:00....................... You’ve Been Framed!

14:30................ Nanny McPhee 15:30............................. FYI Daily 15:35................ Nanny McPhee Cedric Brown has just lost his wife and now he cannot control his seven wild children. That is until Nanny McPhee shows up with a glint in her eye and a magical walking stick to help bring the rebellious offspring back in line.

Family drama.

21:00 ................ Safe House

21:00 .......................In Time

23:15 ........ The Sixth Sense

23:10 ....................... Elektra

16:25..................... The X Factor 17:45 ................The Xtra Factor 18:50 ......................... Twins 19:50 .................... FYI Daily 19:55 ......................... Twins 21:00 ......... The Xtra Factor 22:00......... Bad Bridesmaid

06:00......... The Hour of Power 07:00........... Ashely Banjo’s Big Town Dance 08:00............... All Aboard: East Coast Trains 09:00............... Inside RAF Brize Norton 10:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 11:00 ............ WWE Experience 12:00...... Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 13:00........................ The Middle 14:00............................... Harrow 16:00.................. The Simpsons 18:00.............Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 19:00 ............The Simpsons 19:30 ................ Moone Boy 20:00 ............The Simpsons 20:30 ............................ Lost 21:00............. Hawaii Five-0

06:00.................... The Real A&E

19:00..............Posh Pawn CW 20:00..............Operation Maneater

choice

CW

choice

19:15....... 5 News Weekend 19:20............... Rush Hour 2

06:10.... Braving the Elements

06:00 .......... Make it or Break it

06:35 ....Braving the Elements

06:45................ Happy Endings

07:00 .... Britain’s Bravest Cops

07:10 ................Happy Endings

08:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

08:30............ Melissa and Joey

08:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

09:00............ Melissa and Joey

09:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn

09:30 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

10:00 ..........Haunted Collector 11:00 ...... Walking with Beasts 11:35 ...... Walking with Beasts 12:05...................... Doctor Who 14:00 .............. Masterchef New Zealand 15:00............ Jamie’s American Road Trip 16:00 ................ The Funny Side of TV Talent 17:00 ..................... Best in Town 18:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 19:00 ................ MasterChef Australia 20:00 ............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 21:00.......... Lethal Weapon

10:00 .......Hollyoaks Omnibus 12:30 ....Made in Chelsea NYC 13:35.......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..................... Suburgatory 14:30 ..........The Mindy Project 15:00............................. New Girl 15:30..... The Big Bang Theory 16:30 .............................. The 100 17:30 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 18:00 ..........Rude(Ish) Tube 18:30........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:30 .......... Marley and Me 22:00 .............Almost Royal 22:30 ....................... The Big Bang Theory

23:05 ............... Doctor Who

23:00 ........................... Glue

07:10 ....Rocket City Rednecks

06:00........................ Cleverdicks

07:00 ....................The Real A&E

07:35 ....Rocket City Rednecks

07:00 .............................. Seinfeld

06:00 ............. Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

08:00......RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:00 ............................. Flip Men

08:00 .........Networks of Power

08:30......RSPCA Animal Rescue

08:30 ............................. Flip Men

09:00......... Friday Night Lights

09:00......RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00 .......................Trawlermen

09:30......RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:30 .......................Trawlermen

10:00........................... Team Sky: Road to Glory

10:00 .....Sports Women Week

10:00................Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

11:00 .............................. Seinfeld

11:00............................. Top Gear 12:05............................. Top Gear

13:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

15:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

14:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing

15:00........................Blue Bloods

14:30.......... Lizard Lick Towing

17:00 ............... Without a Trace

16:00.....The Biggest Loser USA

15:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

18:00 ......... Without a Trace

17:00 ................. America’s Next Top Model

18:00 ....Red Bull X-Fighters 2014

20:00.....Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

18:00 ..........Four Weddings

19:00..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

21:00........Game of Thrones

10:30................... Super Nurses 11:00 ........Nothing to Declare 13:00 ............... Border Security

19:00 ......................Hitched 20:00 ...................... NY Med 21:00 ......... Criminal Minds 23:00................ Elementary

20:00....... Gavin and Stacey

11:30.......... The Bachelor King

22:15..................... Gomorra

21:20....... Gavin and Stacey

23:15.................... Curb Your Enthusiasm

23:20 ..........Mock the Week

23:50..........................House

07:30 ............... Football Gold 07:45 ............... Football Gold 08:00................ Football Gold 08:15................ Football Gold 08:30........... FL 72 Highlights 09:00.................... The Sunday Supplement 10:30 ..........Goals on Sunday 12:30..................... Ford Super Sunday 15:30..................... Ford Super Sunday 19:00.... Sky Sports Originals 20:00.......... Goals on Sunday 21:00 ....Sky Sports Originals 22:00 ................ Ford Football Special 23:30 ...........................Sunday Supplement

25 CW

W C choice

Posh Pawn Channel 4, 19:00

Another chance to see the first episode from the new run of the series that goes behind the scenes of the hidden world of high-end pawnbroking. Prestige Pawnbrokers Managing Director James and the team get excited when an ex-Chelsea footballer player turns up with some expensive Rolex watches, James is put to the test when he’s asked to value a hovercraft used in a James Bond film, an unusual painting of Saddam Hussein causes a stir in the office, and there’s a huge surprise for a devoted mum who wants to sell some spectacular jewellery to help her son’s business venture.

Operation Maneater Channel 4, 20:00

In this new series, vet Mark Evans uses technology to tackle three deadly predators: the Nile crocodile, the polar bear and the great white shark. When these animals attack humans both sides lose out. As more people are killed or maimed, more animals are killed in retaliation.

Mark wants to find ways to break this circle of violence. He tries out ingenious solutions to the most hostile wildlife conflicts on Earth.

CW 26

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C choice

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Monday Monday Mond 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Rip Off Britain 10:00 ........... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .......................... Saints and Scroungers 11:45....................... Caught Red Handed 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

Cat Wars

13:00 ..........................BBC News

BBC1, 22.40

13:45 .............................. Doctors

Cats are the most popular companion animals in the western world, in the UK their numbers have swollen to more than 10 million. This is great news for the cat lovers among us but for those who see felis silvestris catus as nothing more than a garden pest it can feel like an epidemic.

In this off one documentary special, Somerset retiree Joe is desperately trying to defend his little corner of the world from fouling invaders. After years of trying to protect his prize vegetable patch he is seeking help from Dave Jones, a self-professed expert in cat deterrence. Dave is armed with a plethora of gadgets but will they work?

But for every cat hater there is a cat lover. Or even a cat fanatic. Meet Silvana and her 50 cats, and Helen, who likes to take her prized pets for a stroll round the block in a baby buggy.

In Birmingham, an elderly community have become divided by an incumbent colony of feral cats. Half the residents want to evict the furry freeloaders but the other half are becoming increasingly attached to the four-legged visitors. This difference of opinion will need to be resolved one way or another.

In Southampton, Annie and her cat Buster are receiving house calls in the middle of the night from a mystery visitor who is pinching Buster’s dinner despite a state-of-the-art security cat flap. How is this possible?

Cat Wars meets those on both sides of the feline divide to find out what really gets people so worked up about the humble housecat.

14:15......................... Perfection

13:30 ................ Regional News

15:00............................ Escape to the Country 15:45 .............A Taste of Britain 16:30 .............................Antiques Road Trip 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00................... BBC News 18:30.......... Regional News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ..................Inside Out 20:00 ................ EastEnders 20:30 ..................Panorama 21:00 ................. New Tricks 22:00 .................. BBC News 22:30.......... Regional News 22:35..................... Weather 22:40.................Cat Wars

CW

choice

23:10 ...........Wedding Daze

Release The Hounds ITV2, 21.00 The scream out loud horror experience has upped the ante for its new series with gruesome and horrifying tests that aim to push contestants to the very edge.

Filmed in a remote forest from dusk through to the dead of night, the show will once again be hosted by Reggie Yates.

The show sees three unsuspecting contestants enter a huge forest at dusk, in a quest to unlock chests full of prize money. The not so fearless friends will have all responded to an advert to win money – but little do they know, in order to win big, they must face some of the scariest challenges ever endured on TV. Host Reggie Yates is their communication from outside the forest and he’ll follow the contestants’ progress throughout their fright night ordeal.

To locate the keys, the friends must all take part in a variety of horror themed mental and physical tests that will truly push them to the limit.

But the ultimate challenge for them is to out-run a pack of dogs, trained to guard the cash. If they manage to escape the hounds, the money belongs to them. If they don’t...

06:05................... Homes Under the Hammer 07:05 .............. Street Patrol UK 07:50 .....Caught Red Handed 08:20 ...................Animal Saints and Sinners 09:05...................... Russia’s Lost Princesses 10:05................... Animal S.O.S. 10:35.....................................Click 11:00......................... BBC News 11:30..................... Daily Politics Conference Special 13:00 ...... Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 13:30 ... Celebrity MasterChef 14:15 ..... Ready, Steady, Cook 15:00 ....The Life of Mammals 16:00 ..... Great British Railway Journeys 16:30 .................... Pressure Pad 17:15 ................................Flog It! 18:00................. Two Tribes 18:30.................. Eggheads 19:00.....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00......................University Challenge 20:30 ............Only Connect 21:00........ Traders: Millions by the Minute 22:00 .... The Sarah Millican Television Programme 22:30 ................ Newsnight

06:00.................... Good Mornin Britain 08:30............................. Lorraine 09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 ...................This Morning 10:55........................... ITV News 11:00................... This Morning 12:30 ................. Loose Women 13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00...................... Who’s Doing the Dishes?

17:00......................... The Chase 18:00.......... Local News and Weather 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ............... Emmerdale 19:30 .... Coronation Street 20:00 ..... The Undriveables 20:30 .... Coronation Street 21:00 ........................... Cilla 22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40 ...............The One and Only Cilla

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

27 CW

d

As the Spanish economy starts to heat up and with property prices going in the right direction there really hasn’t been a better time to look for your new home and the Canarian Weekly Property Guide is the first place you will need to look for that great bargain!

This week we have news on how to help sell your property. Little changes go along way! And also, can your kids on the property ladder?

SA75 - CHAYOFA

● 1 Bed, 1 Bath ● Terrace and Garden ● Communal Pool

125,000€

SA42 - Roque del Conde

● 2 Bed, 1 Bath ● Sea Views ● Communal Pool

135,000€

Sa33 - los cristianos

● 1 Bed Penthouse ● 2 Bath ● Terraces, Close to Centre ● Amazing Views

173,000€

SA49 - Adeje

● 4 Bed townhouse ● 3 bath ● Pool and Kids play area ● Terraces ● Close to school and Shops

210,000€

SA39 - Granadilla

● 4 Bed Canarian Finca ● 3 Bath ● Totally restored, with land ● Potential for further development

265,000€

SA7 - San Eugenio

● 3 Bed, Villa 3 bath +WC ● Sought after location ● Lots of potential

375,000€

CW 28

www.canarianweekly.com

Property Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

It’s Onwards and upwards!

By Sue McDonald IT’S good to see that the property market is moving now, and this is reflected in a higher workload for all the other satellite businesses.

These include furniture stores, which survive largely from property sales.

House prices here in Tenerife are much lower than years ago in the housing boom. And that means many people are now tempted to invest in a property, either for their personal use, or for a rental return.

Working with a good estate agent ensures they will assist the purchaser with the complicated but necessary legal issues, and also help them set up their accounts with the utility companies, the community etc.

But what happens next? There is a nice property, but completely empty and needing to

be furnished, ready for use!

During the housing boom in Tenerife, the most common method of furnishing properties was for one company to deal with everything.

Deco Nuevo has been doing this for some 20 years and in recent years, demand has been more for refurbishment and re-upholstery, much of it of those properties originally furnished years ago.

However, the business now seems to be changing again, to a demand for a full inventory system, where a property is equipped from scratch, ready for occupation.

What are the advantages of using this type of turn-key service? Primarily, it is one of convenience. People often come out to Tenerife to sign for a property, but tend not to stay on the Island very long at that time.

In addition, if they don’t speak Spanish, or know where are the best places to go for all the furnishings and fittings, it can be rather a daunting task.

Preparing an inventory list sufficient for a rental programme for ex-

ample, requires a great deal of thought and attention. In addition, the buyer would need to wait in the property for multiple deliveries, and then arrange a fitter and electrician, all while staying somewhere else!

The full inventory system is tailor-made, including sofa beds and beds, all the furniture, curtains, lights, mirrors, and also kitchen packs to fully equip the kitchen, and linen packs right down to the last sheet and hand-towel.

This means purchasers can arrive in Tenerife, sign for their property, have a brief meeting with the furniture provider to discuss their requirements, and hand over the keys.

When they return next, they can stay in their own property, furnished according to their instructions.

Nowadays, of course, the internet has made it possible to communicate almost instantly with clients.

For example, if the purchaser has given power of attorney to someone here in Tenerife to sign for the property, there is no need to meet the client until he/she comes over to stay in the fully equipped property.

In the meantime, communication can be by e-mail to provide the inventory, design suggestions, including photos, and send feedback etc.

This means the purchaser is not buying a furniture pack that will be identical to other properties. Instructions are taken from the client about their requirements and ideas, and the property will be furnished individually.

New EU ruling to hit buy-to-let mortgages HOME owners who need to relocate for work, or because they can’t sell their property, could find it much harder to get a mortgage, because of the meddling EU!

The UK Treasury has suggested that if lenders abide by the new European Mortgage Credit Directive - a must by 2016 - certain types of landlord mortgages will face tougher regulations.

It could even mean that banks will simply refuse mortgages to these “accidental” landlords in these circumstances.

At the moment, buyto-let mortgages fall outside the regulation which applies to mainstream, owner-occupier mortgages.

This is why older people can obtain landlord loans, for instance, and why the latter are also available on an interest-only basis, even where there is no plan in place for the repayment of the capital borrowed.

The distinction has arisen because landlords are generally viewed as “business” borrowers, requiring less supervision.

Owner-occupiers are viewed as “consumers”,

requiring more protection through tougher regulation.

And “riskier” forms of lending are all but banned under rules applying to owner-occupier mortgages.

If a home-owner decides to let his property under present rules, for whatever reason, the normal process is to switch over to a landlord loan, which most existing lenders will permit.

This is often referred to as “Let-to-buy”, but this scenario seems unlikely to be allowed by many lenders in the future.

In a document published this week, the Treasury said there will be circumstances in which certain landlordlending will be viewed as “consumer” lending and should, therefore, be regulated more tightly.

The Treasury added: “There are some situations where borrowers do not seem to be acting in a business capacity.

“Examples of this may be where the property has been inherited, or where a borrower has previously lived in a property, but is unable to sell it, and so resorts to a buy-to-let arrangement.

“In these cases, the borrower is a landlord as a result of circumstance, rather than through his own active,

business decision.”

Banks and building societies, as well as mortgage brokers, have responded angrily to the idea of even more regulation where “there is no obvious consumer need”.

The Council of Mortgage Lenders, representing the mortgage industry, said the regulation the Treasury now proposed “is based, not on any evidence of a need for additional consumer protection, but purely on ensuring that the European legal requirements are met”.

A spokeswoman added that lenders might struggle in many cases to distinguish between “consumer” landlords and those who went into buy-to-let deliberately.

“Faced with the increased costs and difficulties, they might simply decide not to lend in these circumstances,” she said.

Mortgage broker Mark Harris, of SPF Private Clients, said: “A buy-to-let is an investment, whether the property was inherited, a let-to-buy or purchased independently, and should be treated as such.

“Regulating some buy-to-let loans but not others will add another layer of cost and confusion for lenders, brokers and borrowers alike.”

www.canarianweekly.com 19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Property Guide

29 CW

CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

Property Guide

Property for rent

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Balcon Atlantico – Torviscas – Amazing sea views - 600€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686

1 bedroom – El Mirador – Chayofa €750 incl bills. Tel: 922 750 603

3 bedroom villa for long term rental in Sun Blas, Golf del Sur - from €1.020 to 1.290 plus bills.

Tel: 922 750 603

Balcon Atlantico Torviscas Immaculate 1 bed 600€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686

Paraiso Del Sur – Playa Paraiso – 350€ inc 30€ Bills. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 1 bedroom apartment for long term rental in El Mirador, Chayofa - €750 including bills.

Tel: 922 750 603 Pinehurst – Golf Del Sur – 600€ inc. 50€ Bills. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 Guaragacho – 2 bed 2 bath – 375€ Plus Bills.

Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 1 bedroom apartment for long term rental in Edif Ceila – Los Cristianos - €675 including bills.

Tel: 922 750 603 3 bedroom town house for long term rental in La Finca, Chayofa €975 including bills. Tel: 922 750 603

Las Americas Near Sea front Nice Area Studio 550€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686

Available January Near Port in Los Cristianos 1 bed 620€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 Available Now until end of Jan 2 Bed, Los Cristianos town centre!! 750€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 Adeje unfurnished 2 bed brand new!

500€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 VILLA 4 bed Available Jan fantastic!

With pool 2100€. Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 Available Jan Golf sel Sur 1 bed 600€.

Tel: 922 797 438 / 693 713 686 Amarilla Golf: 1 bed bungalow in superb location with sea and marina views. €650 per month plus bills. Tel: 678 010 524 or 922 737 044 Golf del Sur: 1 bed, 1 bath house with small back garden and two terraces giving all day sun situated on a residential complex close to the Golf Club. €525 per month plus bills. Tel: 678 010 524 or 922 737 044 Golf del Sur: semi-detached 2/3 bed villa with large garden and driveway. €850 per month plus bills. Tel: 678 010 524 or 922 737 044 Golf del Sur: 3 bed villas with garages on residential complex. Unfurnished and furnished options available. From €900 per month plus bills. Tel: 678 010 524 or 922 737 044 Amarilla Golf: Newly refurbished top floor one bed apartment with stunning views. €500 per month plus bills.

Tel: 678 010 524 or 922 737 044

2 Bed in Guargacho.

31.900€ Ref: 13412 3 bed apt in San Isidro.

Modern complex.

45.200€ Ref: D1471 2 bed apt in San Isidro.

51.100€ Ref: 23773 New listing; 2 bed apt in the upper section of San Isidro. 76m2.

55.400€ Ref: 39811 Alondras Park, Costa del Silencio: 2 bed apt.

Communal pool.

58.000€ Ref: 60184 Fañabe village: 2 bed apt. on the ground floor.

58.900€ Ref: 25698 Chayofa Country Club, Chayofa: Studio apt.

59.100€ Ref: B1507

Barranco del Ingles: Detached 5 bed villa, private pool.

1.200.000€ Ref: D1454 Modern block in Guargacho, 3 bed apt, 90 m2.

60.500€ Ref: D1466 Parque de la Reina, 2 bed apt, 80 m2.

68.400€ Ref: 14622 Club La Mar, Puerto Santiago, 2 bed apt.

70.800€ Ref: 36024 Sur y Sol, Los Cristianos.

1 bed apt. Communal pool & Gardens.

110.500€ Ref: 83672

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

ay Monday Monday 22nd September 06:00 ...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:10............... King of Queens 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:30 ....................... Undercover Boss Canada 11:30 ....................Four in a Bed 12:00.............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 ....................Four in a Bed 14:10 ........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 20:00 ........................Jamie’s Comfort Food 20:30 .............. Gadget Man 21:00 ........... Derren Brown 22:35.....Jon Richardson CW Grows Up choice

06:00..................... Children’s TV 08:00 ...................Little Princess 08:15...........................Peppa Pig 08:35.............. Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:50....... Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 ............ Cowboy Builders 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .........Police Interceptors 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15.................................... NCIS 15:15......By Appointment Only 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 19:00 ..... The Gadget Show 20:00 .......... Ultimate Police Interceptors 21:00 ........... Age Gap Love: She’s 68, He’s 36 22:00........ Under the Dome 23:00................Hollow Man

06:00..... You’ve Been Framed!

06:10................... Total Wipeout

06:25........................ Emmerdale

07:00......Primeval: New World

06:55........... Coronation Street

08:00........................... Babylon 5

07:55.... Dinner Date Australia

09:00 ................................The Bill

08:50.... The Only Way is Essex

10:00 ................................The Bill

09:35..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

11:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

12:00.............................. DIY SOS

11:25 .......................... Millionaire Matchmaker

13:00..... MasterChef Australia

23:00 ....................... Tricked

23:00 .....Being Human USA

06:00 ................Happy Endings 06:25 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 07:15 .....................................Glee 08:00..................... Suburgatory 08:30.................Happy Endings 09:00 ... Rules of Engagement 09:30 ............ Melissa and Joey 10:00 ........................... Charmed 11:00... The Tomorrow People 12:00 ...........................Hollyoaks 12:30 ....................Rude(Ish) Tube 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00......The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ............ Melissa and Joey 15:30 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .....The Tomorrow People 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 .....................New Girl 20:00 .... The Mindy Project 20:30.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 21:00...................... The 100 22:00 ...............................Glue 23:00....The Big Bang Theory

06:00 ....................The Real A&E

06:00 ....................... Airline USA 07:00 ........Nothing to Declare 08:00.................... The Real A&E 08:30 ....................The Real A&E 09:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 10:00 .............. Chopper Squad 11:00 ..............UK Border Force 12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 13:00.................Criminal Minds 15:00.............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00 ................The Biggest Loser USA 20:00....................... NY Med 21:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22:00......... Mount Pleasant 23:00.......... Criminal Minds

07:00 ................... Radical Highs

06:00............. Stargate Atlantis

06:00 ................... Football Gold

07:10 ..........................Hardliners

07:00 .......................Blue Bloods

07:00 .......Sky Sports Originals

08:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

08:00 .............Goals on Sunday

09:00 ...............Motorway Cops

09:00................ Without a Trace

09:00 .....Ford Football Special

10:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

10:00....................... Blue Bloods

10:30 .......... Football’s Greatest Players

11:00............................. Top Gear

13:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis

06:30 ....................The Real A&E 07:00........................... Futurama 07:30........................... Futurama 09:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00................... Hawaii Five-0 12:00................... Hawaii Five-0 13:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00..................................Airline 15:30......................................Glee 16:30........................... Futurama 18:30............ The Simpsons 19:00............ The Simpsons 20:00 ..............Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 21:00 ..................50 Ways to Kill Your Mammy 22:00........ An Idiot Abroad 23:00 .................... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:15 ........................Emmerdale 12:50 ...........Coronation Street 13:15 ...........Coronation Street 13:50......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:05..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00....The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 19:00.................You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ...............The X Factor 21:00.Release the Hounds

CW

choice

22:00 .......................... Plebs

13:00 ...............Motorway Cops 14:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 15:00............................. Top Gear 17:00 ......... Red Bull X-Fighters 2014 18:00 .................... Top Gear 19:00......... Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

12:30............................... DIY SOS 14:00 .......Hollywood Treasure 14:30 .......Hollywood Treasure 15:00.......... Beverly Hills Pawn 15:30.......... Beverly Hills Pawn 16:00...................... Doctor Who 17:00.... Choccywoccydoodah 18:00 .............Border Patrol 18:30 .............Border Patrol 19:00 ................ MasterChef Australia 20:00................ Who Do You Think You Are? 21:00 ..............Resurrection 22:00 ................ Traffic Cops

11:00 ..................................House 14:00 ............... Without a Trace

12:00 .......Sky Sports Originals

15:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise

13:00..................................... FL72

16:00 ..................................House

15:00 .....Ford Football Special

17:00 ..................................House

16:30 ............Fantasy Football The Highlights

18:00................ Blue Bloods 19:00.......... Without a Trace 20:00.... Friday Night Lights

20:00 ............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

21:00 .................... Gomorra

21:00 ...........................QI XL

23:20 ................... Curb Your Enthusiasm

22:00 .................. Room 101 22:40 ..........Mock the Week

11:00 ................... Football Gold

22:05..... Boardwalk Empire

23:55.......... Without a Trace

14:00 .............Goals on Sunday

17:00 .......... Football’s Greatest Players 17:30 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 18:30............................ FL72 19:30 ..................... Football 22:00.....Sky Sports Originals

31 CW

W C choice

Jon Richardson Grows Up Channel 4, 22:35

Mortgages, marriage and parenthood - all big words from the ‘Adult World’ that strike fear into the heart of 30-somethings everywhere.

Now, award-winning comedian Jon Richardson gets to grips with these big issues in his brand new show. In the second of three episodes, Jon and his best mate Matt Forde looks at our relationship with money - does it correlate to happiness and if so, how much of the stuff do you need to be a happy grown up?

Jon has always had an uneasy relationship with money; stressed for being without it and uncomfortable with excessive wealth in general. He grew up with his mum and sister not owning their own home. In his twenties he was driven to succeed as a comedian and purchase his own home, giving him financial security.

So getting to grips with the issue, Jon and Matt visit a lottery winner whose windfall proved to be a blessing and a curse and they meet the children of a billionaire to discuss the impact of inherited wealth.

CW 32

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Tuesday Tuesday Tu 06:00............................ Breakfast 09:15.................. Rip Off Britain 10:00................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .......................... Saints and Scroungers 11:45....................... Caught Red Handed 12:15.................... Bargain Hunt 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:30................ Regional News 13:45.............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00.............................Escape to the Country 15:45 .............A Taste of Britain 16:30 ........ Antiques Road Trip 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 .................. BBC News 18:30 .......... Regional News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00 ..................Holby City 21:00............. The Driver

CW

choice

22:00 .................. BBC News 22:25 .......... Regional News

22:30 .....................Weather 22:35 .....................Cat Wars 23:25 .................... Mad City

W C choice

05:30 .................. Roman Voices 06:05 ...................Homes Under the Hammer 07:05.....Saints and Scroungers 07:50...... Caught Red Handed 08:20 ...................Animal Saints and Sinners 09:05.....................A Bear with a Bounty - A Natural World 10:05 ............... Food and Drink 10:35 ...........................HARDtalk 11:00 ..........................BBC News 12:00 .....................Daily Politics Conference Special 13:00....... Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 13:30 ............. Cash in the Attic 14:00 .....................Daily Politics Conference Special 15:45 ...................................Coast 16:00 ......................Great British Railway Journeys 16:30 .....................Pressure Pad 17:15................................ Flog It! 18:00.................. Two Tribes 18:30................... Eggheads 19:00.... Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00 ............ £100k House: Tricks of the Trade 21:00 ..........The Motorway: Life in the Fast Lane 22:00........ Later Live... with Jools Holland 22:30..................Newsnight

06:00 ................. Good Morning Britain 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .................... This Morning 10:55............................ ITV News 11:00.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ......................Who’s Doing the Dishes?

17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00 ..........Local News and Weather 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 20:00 .......Long Lost Family 21:00..........I Married the CW Waiter: Love choice in the Sun 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40............... State of Play

The Driver BBC1, 21.00 Taxi driver Vince McKee (David Morrissey) finds his life taking an unexpected turn when he accepts an offer to drive for a criminal gang. It’s been engineered by his old friend Colin (Ian Hart), who has resurfaced after a six-year stretch in prison.

The Driver is the story of an ordinary man who - out of frustration with his job and his life - makes a terrible decision.

Ever since their son Tim (Lewis Rainer) cut ties with the family, Vince and his wife Ros (Claudie Blakley) have drifted apart. They blame themselves for his departure and have become accustomed to living separate lives.

The offer of becoming a driver for gang leader The Horse (Colm Meaney) at first seems like an exciting proposition to Vince, but as the gang prepare for a major job he soon starts to wish he could have his old life back.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

uesday Tuesday 22nd September 06:00 ...................... Countdown

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:45................. Will and Grace

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

07:10 ............... King of Queens

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

08:00............. Everybody Loves Raymond

11:10............ Cowboy Builders

09:00................................. Frasier

12:15 ................ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

06:10 ...................Total Wipeout

23:00............. Educating the East End

23:00...........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

06:00..... You’ve Been Framed!

06:25 ........................Emmerdale 06:55........... Coronation Street 07:55.... Dinner Date Australia 08:50.... The Only Way is Essex 09:35 ..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 11:25 .......................... Millionaire Matchmaker 12:15 ........................Emmerdale 12:50 ...........Coronation Street 13:50...The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:05 ..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00....The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 19:00 ...........Despicable Me 20:00 .....................FYI Daily 20:05 ...........Despicable Me 21:00....................Tricked CW choic 22:00.............. Keith Lemon: The Film 23:00..................... FYI Daily 23:05.............. Keith Lemon: The Film 23:50............Celebrity Juice

06:00.................... The Real A&E

06:00 ....................... Airline USA

07:00 ................... Radical Highs

06:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis

06:30 ....................The Real A&E

06:30....................... Airline USA

07:10 ..........................Hardliners

07:00....................... Blue Bloods

07:00 ...........................Futurama

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

08:00............................. Top Gear

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

07:30 ...........................Futurama

08:00.................... The Real A&E

09:00 ...............Motorway Cops

09:00 ............... Without a Trace

09:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

09:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods

10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

10:00 .............. Chopper Squad

10:00............... Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

11:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

11:00 ..............UK Border Force

11:00............................. Top Gear

12:00...................................House

12:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00............... Motorway Cops

13:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis

14:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

14:00 ............... Without a Trace

15:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

15:00 .............................Top Gear

16:00 ..................................House

17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

17:00 ...............Motorway Cops

17:00 ..................................House

18:00..................... Top Gear

18:00................ Blue Bloods

19:00 .........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

19:00 ......... Without a Trace

20:00 ...........................QI XL

21:00 .............The Leftovers

10:30 ............. Undercover Boss Canada 11:30 ....................Four in a Bed 12:05 ....................Four in a Bed 14:10........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 .................Dogs: Their Secret Lives 21:00 ..........Ramsay’s Costa Del Nightmares 22:00......... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00 .................................Airline 15:30 .....................................Glee 16:30 ...........................Futurama 18:30 ............The Simpsons 19:00 ............The Simpsons 20:00.......... Modern Family 21:00.................... Football’s Funniest Moments

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15.................................... NCIS 15:15................ Carolina Moon 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 19:00 ......... Meerkat Manor 19:30.................. The Secret Life of Pets 20:00 ............ James Bulger: Britain’s Worst Crimes 21:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 22:00........ Secrets and Lies

13:00 ................Criminal Minds

18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00..........Chopper Squad 19:30..........Chopper Squad 20:00.......... Criminal Minds 21:00......... Mount Pleasant

22:00 ............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

22:00 ............................Glee

22:00 ............. Trying Again

23:00 ..........Mock the Week

23:00 .....................Legends

23:00.......... Criminal Minds

23:40........................... QI XL

W C choice

07:00..... Primeval: New World 08:00........................... Babylon 5 09:00.................................The Bill 10:00 ................................The Bill 11:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 12:00 .............................. DIY SOS 12:30 .............................. DIY SOS 13:00 .....MasterChef Australia 14:00 .......Hollywood Treasure 14:30 .......Hollywood Treasure 15:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 15:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 16:00...................... Doctor Who 17:00.... Choccywoccydoodah 17:30.... Choccywoccydoodah 18:00 .............Border Patrol 18:30 .............Border Patrol 19:00................. MasterChef Australia 20:00.............. Resurrection 21:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 22:00........... Lethal Weapon

11:00.................................. House

15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

20:00 ................. The British 22:15 ............. Ray Donovan 23:25 ................... Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 .....................................Glee 08:00 .....................Suburgatory 08:30 ................Happy Endings 09:00 ... Rules of Engagement 09:30 ............ Melissa and Joey 10:00 ........................... Charmed 11:00 ..................The Tomorrow People 12:00 ...........................Hollyoaks 12:35................ Rude(Ish) Tube 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ............ Melissa and Joey 15:30 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00... The Tomorrow People 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 21:00 .....................New Girl 21:30 .... The Mindy Project 22:00 .... Tattoos After Dark 23:00 ...The Big Bang Theory

06:00....................... Football Gold 07:00 ..................Barclays Premier League Review 08:00 .........................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 09:00 .................. FL72 Highlights 10:00 ......................................... FL72 11:00 .......................Football Gold 11:30 ...................SPFL Round Up 12:00 .........................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 13:00 .................. FL72 Highlights 14:00......................................... FL72 15:00 .........................Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 16:00.................. FL72 Highlights 17:00............. Football’s Greatest Players 17:30 ...................SPFL Round Up 18:00 ...... Football Freestyler 18:30 ............... Football Gold 19:00 .......... Barclays Premier League Legends 19:30 .........................Football

33 CW

W C choice

I Married The Waiter: Love In The Sun ITV1, 21.00

This new one-off documentary for ITV tells the stories of British women who fell in love with local men they met while on holidays in the sun. With heartfelt testimony from the women and their Greek, Turkish and Tunisian lovers, this programme follows the tales of those who continued their romances after their planes home had landed. Among those featured in the programme are Anne, Dawn and Jean, who fell in love at different times with Greek men who all lived on the island of Symi.

Maddison, Fleur and Ruth all fell in love with Turkish men. Dorothy, at the age of 70, married a 21-year-old Tunisian man. While some of the romances may have ended, and in one case a new writing career launched on the back of her experiences, none of the women express regrets about finding love in the sun.

Fleur Ozdemir first met now-husband Ferit when she was on a girlie holiday to Turkey in 2009 and they started chatting at the bar where he worked. He found her on Facebook, and when she later returned for another holiday, they really connected.

Tricked ITV2, 21.00

Magician Ben Hanlin will be conjuring up mischief once again as he tricks more unsuspecting members of the public and celebrities, with his own special brand of hidden camera magic.

This time, Ben will be pulling bigger, more elaborate setups on members of the public – including a bride who tricks her entire wedding party when she enlists Ben to ruin her big day; and helping someone get their ultimate revenge on a mate by convincing them gangsters are out to get them before magically producing £5000 from thin air.

Ben will also be using sleight of hand to fool Joe public as he poses as a pretend barman, shopkeeper and market stallholder – always serving the unwary with a wry smile – and a cheeky trick.

In Series 1 Ben tricked boy band Blue into thinking band mate Simon Webbe had fallen off a cliff, made Helen Flanagan believe she had seen a ghost, trapped Rylan Clark in a lift and convinced Stacey Solomon she was in a cage with a live gorilla.

This series, Ben is back undercover tricking a whole host of new celebrities including Kym Marsh, Dan Osbourne, Tinchy Stryder, Kerry Katona, David Haye, The Vamps and Emmerdale’s Natalie Anderson and Matthew Wolfenden.

In the first episode of the series, Ben locks Geordie Shore lass Charlotte Crosby in a sauna, he goes onto the Coronation Street cobbles and stuns Brooke Vincent and Amy Kelly, and bamboozles Joey Essex with a time travel trick.

CW 34

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Wednesday Wednesd 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Rip Off Britain 10:00 ........... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .......................... Saints and Scroungers 11:45 ..... Caught Red Handed 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:30 ................ Regional News 13:45.............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:45 .............A Taste of Britain 16:30 ........ Antiques Road Trip 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 .................. BBC News 18:30 .......... Regional News 19:00 ...........The One Show 20:00 ....... The Great British Bake Off 21:00..................Our Zoo

CW choice

22:00 .................. BBC News 22:25 .......... Regional News 22:30..................... Weather

22:35................. A Question of Sport 23:05 ................ The League Cup Show

W C choice

06:00 ................. Homes Under the Hammer 07:00........................ Saints and Scroungers 07:45.... Caught Red Handed 08:15 ..................Animal Saints and Sinners 09:00 .................................Coast 10:00............................ Horizon 11:00 ........................BBC News 12:00.................... Daily Politics Conference Special 13:00 ............................. Lifeline 13:10 .................................Coast 13:30...Celebrity MasterChef 14:15.....Ready, Steady, Cook 15:00... The Life of Mammals 16:00 .................... Great British Railway Journeys 16:30................... Pressure Pad 17:15............................... Flog It! 17:55...................Party Political Broadcast by the Labour Party 18:00................ Two Tribes 18:30................. Eggheads 19:00....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00 .......... Long Shadow 21:00 ................This World 22:00 ......The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 22:30 ............... Newsnight

06:00................. Good Morning Britain 08:30 ..............................Lorraine 09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.................... This Morning 10:55 ............................ITV News 11:00.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00...................... Who’s Doing the Dishes?

17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00.......... Local News and Weather 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30 ..... Coronation Street 20:00 ......Celebrity Squares 21:00 ........ Scott and Bailey 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40...........On Assignment 23:10...................... Through the Keyhole

Our Zoo BBC1, 21.00 When Adam the bear escapes, George is badly injured in the process of retrieving him.

Dr Ford treats his injuries, but June is disturbed to learn how close her father was to death.

In urgent need of funds to secure the bears, and with no help from the bank, George decides to organise a benefit at Selborne Hall.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

day Wednesday 23rd September 06:00 ...................... Countdown

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:45 ................. Will and Grace

08:50 .......Bananas in Pyjamas

07:10 ............... King of Queens

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

08:00 ......................... Everybody Loves Raymond

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

09:00 .................................Frasier

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

10:30 ....................... Undercover Boss Canada 11:30 ....................Four in a Bed 14:10 ........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00............... Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 20:00 ............ Sarah Beeny’s Double Your House for Half the Money 21:00 .......... Grand Designs 22:00 .............The Men with Many Wives

11:10 ............ Cowboy Builders 12:15 .............. Britain’s Craziest Commutes 13:15............. Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 .......Defending Our Kids 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30.......... 5 News Tonight 19:00.... Police Interceptors 20:00........... The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 21:00 .................. Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

22:00 ................ Wentworth

23:00 ........ 999: What’s Your Emergency?

23:00 ........... Age Gap Love: She’s 68, He’s 36

06:00 ....................The Real A&E 06:30 ....................The Real A&E 07:00 ...........................Futurama 07:30 ...........................Futurama 08:00........................... Futurama 08:30 ...........................Futurama 09:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00................................. Airline 15:30..................................... Glee 16:30 ...........................Futurama 17:00 ...........................Futurama 18:30............ The Simpsons 19:00 ............The Simpsons 19:30........... Mrs. Doubtfire 22:00..................... Legends 23:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

06:00 ....................... Airline USA 07:00 ........Nothing to Declare 08:00.................... The Real A&E 09:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 10:00 .............. Chopper Squad 11:00 ..............UK Border Force 12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 13:00................ Criminal Minds 15:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 17:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 19:00..........Chopper Squad 19:30..........Chopper Squad 20:00.......................Hitched 21:00.......... Criminal Minds 22:00.......... Criminal Minds 23:00.........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

06:00 ....................The Hot Desk 06:10 .....Beauty and the Geek 06:55 ........................Emmerdale 08:00 ... The Only Way is Essex 08:50.... The Only Way is Essex 09:35 ..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 11:25 .......................... Millionaire Matchmaker 12:15.........................Emmerdale 13:20......You’ve Been Framed!

13:50 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:05..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00.......................The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 19:00....You’ve Been Framed!

20:00........... Evan Almighty 21:00..................... FYI Daily 21:05 ...........Evan Almighty 22:00............The Job Lot CW choice 22:30 .......................... Plebs 23:00 .......................... Plebs 23:35... Release the Hounds

06:15................... Total Wipeout Canada 07:00..... Primeval: New World 08:00 ...........................Babylon 5 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00................................ The Bill 11:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 12:00.............................. DIY SOS 12:30.............................. DIY SOS 13:00 .....MasterChef Australia 14:00 .......Hollywood Treasure 15:00 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 15:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 16:00...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ..................Choccywoccydoodah 17:30 ..................Choccywoccydoodah 18:00..............Border Patrol 18:30................. MasterChef Australia 20:00............... Saving Hope 21:00......................... Grimm 22:00................... The Strain 23:00................ Doctor Who

07:00 ................... Radical Highs 07:10 ..........................Hardliners 08:00 .............................Top Gear 09:00 ...............Motorway Cops 10:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 11:00............................. Top Gear 13:00............... Motorway Cops 14:00............... Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 15:00............................. Top Gear 17:00............... Motorway Cops 18:00 .................... Top Gear 19:00 .........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 20:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 21:00......... 8 Out of 10 Cats 22:00................ Crackanory 22:40 ............Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish 23:40 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

06:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis 07:00 .......................Blue Bloods 08:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 ............... Without a Trace 10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 11:00 ..................................House 12:00 ..................................House 13:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis 14:00 ............... Without a Trace 15:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ..................................House 17:00 ..................................House 18:00 ............... Blue Bloods 19:00 ......... Without a Trace 20:00 ............... Blue Bloods 21:00 ..... Last Week Tonight with John Oliver 21:35............. The Leftovers 22:50 .......Game of Thrones

06:00................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10..................................... Glee 08:00 .....................Suburgatory 08:30 ................Happy Endings 09:00 ... Rules of Engagement 09:30 ............ Melissa and Joey 10:00 ........................... Charmed 11:00... The Tomorrow People 12:00 ...........................Hollyoaks 12:35 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ............ Melissa and Joey 15:30.... Rules of Engagement 16:00... The Tomorrow People 17:00........................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:00 .......... The Karate Kid

06:00................... Football Gold 07:00 .................... WWE Vintage Collection 08:00 ..............Capital One Cup 09:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Legends 09:30 ................... Football Gold 10:00 ..............Capital One Cup 11:00 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 12:00 ..............Capital One Cup 13:00 .......Sky Sports Originals 14:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Legends 14:30 ..............Capital One Cup 15:30 ................... Football Gold 16:00 ..............Capital One Cup 17:00 .......... Football’s Greatest Players 17:30 .......... Football’s Greatest Players 18:00 ................ Boots ‘n’ All 19:00.......... Premier League 100 Club

35 CW

W C choice

The Job Lot ITV2, 22.00

The Midlands Job Centre opens its doors once again for a brand new second series this autumn as The Job Lot moves to its new home on ITV2.

Sarah Hadland (Miranda, Horrible Histories) and Russell Tovey (Him & Her, Looking) both return as Trish and Karl with Laura Aikman (Casualty, Lemon La Vida Loca) joining the show as new deputy manager Natalie.

The impressive ensemble cast also return; Sophie McShera (Downton Abbey), Tony Maudsley (Benidorm), Jo Enright (Life’s Too Short), Martin Marquez (Hotel Babylon), Angela Curran (This is Jinsy) and Adeel Akhtar (Utopia).

This series also sees a variety of guest stars walk through the job centre’s sliding doors with Meera Syal as the highly successful CEO of a Midlands hot tub company, Keith Duffy as a telephone engineer with a roving eye, Mark Benton as a job centre advisor who finds Angela irresistible and Rosie Cavaliero as Trish’s rival job centre manager.

CW 36

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

W C choice

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Thursday Thursday T 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Rip Off Britain 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 .......................... Saints and Scroungers 11:45 ....................... Caught Red Handed 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:30 ................ Regional News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ......................... Perfection 15:00 ............................Escape to the Country

Who Do You Think You Are? Reggie Yates BBC1, 21.00 DJ, actor and presenter Reggie Yates has clocked up 23 years in broadcasting and has only just turned 31. Reggie was born in London in 1983, he has an older sister Cerise and half-siblings from his parents’ later marriages.

Reggie wants to know where the name Yates comes from and thinks it might be Dutch. His complicated family tree holds some unexpected surprises - his grandfather was half English and his great, grand-father George Yates, was English and worked in the Gold Coast as an accountant for a British gold mining company.

Chasing Shadows ITV1, 21.00 Sean homes in on a missing person who fits none of the five most common categories of missing people. The only thing more interesting than a pattern to Sean, is someone who fits no pattern. Stephen Eli - a lawyer and single father raising a teenage son - went missing without a trace a year ago. Looking into his last known movements, Sean spots a connection with two other deaths: both victims of an imprisoned serial killer, Leonard Vance. Sean believes Stephen Eli is Vance’s third victim.

Despite police reluctance, Sean and Ruth travel to Crowley secure psychiatric hospital to interview Vance. He is a dangerous schizophrenic, destined to spend his life behind bars for two random, savage murders.

Confronted with the evidence about Steven, Leonard eventually confesses to the murder. Sean is congratulated on cleaning up another case. But when Vance is unable to lead them to the site where he buried Stephen Eli, Sean becomes uneasy. Is Leonard telling the truth about killing Stephen Eli? Sean starts looking into the murders of Leonard’s other victims. If Leonard is lying about killing Steven, maybe he’s lying about the other murders as well? And if Leonard isn’t responsible for those deaths, then the real serial killer is still out there…

Bad Bridesmaid ITV2, 21.00 Would you help sabotage your very own hen do and rile your beloved bridesmaids by allowing a wild comedy character to cause mischief and mayhem on your hen weekend, all for a luxurious honeymoon?

Hen weekends always throw up unexpected guests that no one knows – whether it’s your mum’s bonkers friend, your fiancé’s oddball cousin or that weird work colleague who invites themselves along. ITV2 are tapping into this real world phenomenon to bring you a comedy series that’ll change the way you look at hen dos forever.

Six brides-to-be are doing just that when they allow an undercover comedy actress to infiltrate their special weekend and reap havoc. All they have to do is convince their other bridesmaids and closest hens that their friendship with this crazy comedy creation and new addition to the wedding party is genuine.

06:05................... Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ................. Good Morning Britain

07:05......................... Saints and Scroungers

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

07:50 .....Caught Red Handed 08:20 ...................Animal Saints and Sinners

10:30 .................... This Morning

09:05 ................... Escape to the Continent

11:00.................... This Morning

09:35 ................... Escape to the Continent

13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather

10:05............ Gardeners World 10:35.......................... HARDtalk 11:00 ......................... BBC News 11:30...................... World News

15:45 .............A Taste of Britain

12:00 ............The Daily Politics

16:30..............................Antiques Road Trip

13:00 ...... Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone

17:15 ............................ Pointless

13:30 .............Cash in the Attic

18:00................... BBC News

14:00 ..................................... Golf

18:30 .......... Regional News

16:00...................... Great British Railway Journeys

19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders

16:30 .................... Pressure Pad

20:00 ............. Your Home in Their Hands

17:15 ................................Flog It!

21:00..........Who Do You Think You Are?

CW choice

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

18:00................. Two Tribes 18:30 .................. Eggheads

10:55 ............................ITV News 12:30 .................. Loose Women

14:00......................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ......................Who’s Doing the Dishes?

17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00.......... Local News and Weather 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30 ...................... Tonight 20:00 ................ Emmerdale 20:30 ...... Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs

CW

22:00 .................. BBC News

19:00.....Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

22:25........... Regional News

20:00......Jungle Atlantis

22:30..................... Weather

21:00................ Marvellous

22:35 ...........Question Time

22:30................. Newsnight

22:40..............Sunday Night at the Palladium

23:20 .................This World

23:40........... River Monsters

W C choice

23:35 .................. This Week

CW

choice

21:00..Chasing Shadows

choice

22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather

Jungle Atlantis: Angkor Wat’s Hidden Megacity BBC2, 20.00 Angkor Wat’s Hidden Megacity explores the incredible rise of this mighty civilisation as it mastered the monsoon and built the splendours of Angkor Wat. A thousand years ago the Khmer people of Cambodia built an Empire that stretched a million square kilometers. It became the largest superpower the region has ever seen. Their capital was the great city of Angkor, once the largest city on Earth. Its centerpiece was Angkor Wat - a vast temple complex covering an area more than four times the size of the Vatican City.

But as Jungle Atlantis shows, 600 years ago the Khmer kings abandoned their capital and many of the huge structures they built were devoured by the jungle. Ever since, the people who once lived around the temples have remained an enigma. Little is known about the kings who secured their vast empire or how they constructed the wonders of Angkor Wat. In the first of this two-part series, an international team of archaeologists and scientists use revolutionary technology to reveal the true scale and extent of the lost city of Angkor and to find out how its people lived and died.

Using a new laser scanning technology called LiDAR, they discover the secrets of this forgotten civilisation. The laser beams penetrate the dense jungle canopy to reveal the ghostly footprint of the lost city beneath the trees.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Thursday Thursday 24th September 06:00...................... Countdown 06:45 ................. Will and Grace 07:10 ............... King of Queens 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:30............. Undercover Boss Canada 11:30 ....................Four in a Bed 12:00 .............. Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 ....................Four in a Bed 14:10........... Phil: Secret Agent Down Under 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00............... Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 20:00.... Location, Location, Location 21:00...............Educating CW the East End choice 22:00...........Ramsay’s Costa Del Nightmares 23:05 ................... Bouncers

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00.................... The Real A&E

06:15 ...................Total Wipeout Canada

23:00................... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

06:00 ....................The Hot Desk 06:10 .....Beauty and the Geek 06:55 ........................Emmerdale 07:25........... Coronation Street 07:55.... The Only Way is Essex 08:40...The Only Way is Marbs 09:35 ..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 11:25 .......................... Millionaire Matchmaker 12:15 ........................Emmerdale 12:50 ...........Coronation Street 13:20..... You’ve Been Framed!

13:50...The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:05 ..... The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 18:00..The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 19:00.......................... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ..............The Best Ever You’ve Been Framed 21:00.....Bad Bridesmaid CW choice 22:00 ...........Celebrity Juice 22:50 .......................... Plebs 23:50 ....................... Tricked

23:00................ Doctor Who

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 .....................................Glee 08:00 .....................Suburgatory 08:30 ................Happy Endings 09:00 ... Rules of Engagement 09:30 ............ Melissa and Joey 10:00 ........................... Charmed 11:00 .. The Tomorrow People 12:00.......................... Hollyoaks 12:35................. Rude(Ish) Tube 13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 14:00..... The Big Bang Theory 15:00............ Melissa and Joey 15:30.... Rules of Engagement 16:00... The Tomorrow People 17:00........................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 .......... How I Met Your Mother 20:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 21:00 ..............Suburgatory 21:30 ..............2 Broke Girls 22:00 .....The Inbetweeners

06:00 ....................... Airline USA

07:10 ..........................Hardliners

06:00............. Stargate Atlantis

06:00 ................... Football Gold

06:30 ....................The Real A&E

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:35 ..........................Hardliners

07:00....................... Blue Bloods

06:15 ................... Football Gold

07:00 ...........................Futurama

08:00............................. Star Trek: Enterprise

07:00.............. Capital One Cup

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 ............ Cowboy Builders 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .................... Storage: Flog the Lot! 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ........ Killer Instinct: From the Files of Agent Candice DeLong 17:00........................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ......... 5 News Tonight 19:00...... The Gadget Show 20:00 .................Armed and Dangerous: Caught on Camera 21:00 .......Never Teach Your Wife to Drive 22:00 .........................Dallas

07:00..... Primeval: New World 08:00........................... Babylon 5 09:00................................ The Bill 10:00................................ The Bill 11:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 12:00 .............................. DIY SOS 13:00 .....MasterChef Australia 14:30 .......Hollywood Treasure 15:30 .......... Beverly Hills Pawn 16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ... Choccywoccydoodah 17:30 ... Choccywoccydoodah 18:00 .............Border Patrol 18:30 .............Border Patrol 19:00 ................ MasterChef Australia 20:00 ............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 21:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 22:00................... The Strain

08:00 ....................The Real A&E

08:00 .............................Top Gear

07:30........................... Futurama

09:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

09:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

08:00........................... Futurama

10:00 .............. Chopper Squad 11:00 ..............UK Border Force

10:00 .....Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

09:00................ Without a Trace

08:30........................... Futurama 09:00........... NCIS: Los Angeles

11:00............................. Top Gear

11:00 ..................................House

11:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles

13:00 ................Criminal Minds

13:00 ..........Lizard Lick Towing

14:00................................. Airline

15:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

14:00 ...............Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

17:00 ..................RSPCA Animal Rescue

15:00 .............................Top Gear

18:00.... Nothing to Declare

18:00..................... Top Gear

19:00 .........Chopper Squad

19:00 .........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

14:30 ........The Ryder Cup Live 17:30............................Futurama 18:30 ............The Simpsons 19:00 ...................Futurama 19:30....................Futurama 20:00 ..........Modern Family 21:00 ................... Miracle at Medinah 23:00................ A League of Their Own

20:00 ...........America’s Next Top Model

12:00............................. Top Gear

17:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

10:00 .......................Blue Bloods 12:00 ..................................House 13:00 ............. Stargate Atlantis 14:00 ............... Without a Trace 15:00 .............................Star Trek: Enterprise 16:00 ..................................House 17:00 ..................................House 18:00................ Blue Bloods 19:00 ......... Without a Trace

08:00.......... Football’s Greatest Players 09:00 ..............Capital One Cup 10:00 ........................ Boots ‘n’ All 11:00...............Capital One Cup 12:00................... Football Gold 13:00.............. Capital One Cup 14:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Legends 14:30 ................... Football Gold 15:00 .......Sky Sports Originals 16:00.............. Capital One Cup 18:00..................... Ringside 19:00.... Super League Gold

20:00 ................. The British

19:30.... Super League Match 22:15 .....................Ringside 23:15 ........ Capital One Cup

21:00 ......................Scandal

21:00 ........... Not Going Out

22:00 ......... Criminal Minds

22:20 ................................QI

21:00 .............The Leftovers

23:00 ......... Criminal Minds

23:00 ................ Crackanory

22:15 ............Monster’s Ball

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W C choice

Educating the East End Channel 4, 21:00

Being a head teacher often keeps Ms Smith awake at night. She has 900 pupils in her care and feels responsible for every one of them. Some of the students’ family dramas can impact on school life, and in this episode, alongside Ms Smith, English teacher Mr Bispham and deputy head Miss Hillman have to find a multitude of ways of engaging with the kids to help them leave their sometimes unsettling troubles at the gates.

The programme also meets Hazel, an EastEnder born and bred, and a non-teaching pastoral support worker at Frederick Bremer. She’s the first port of call when kids are sent out of the classroom and can be found patrolling the corridor, walkie-talkie in hand, often notching up as many as five miles a day. She was excluded from her own school when she was younger and talks to the pupils in an open and honest manner; and in return the pupils respond to her.

CW 38

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Entertainment

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

By Jamie Drew THE air of anticipation and excitement surrounding the live TEAs categories this year is electric.

For the first time, there will be two live votes on the day, The Best Female Vocalist and The Best Group categories performing and hoping to bag themselves that all-important piece of glassware.

It is so hard to decide what songs to choose for an event like this.

Singers in both categories would love to win, but they all have a lot of respect for one another - the girls especially, because their category doesn’t leave a great deal of contrast.

The groups, however, are quite stark in their contrasting styles. For instance, Corey Tennant and Stuart Marlow, of T2K are a really current duo, often covering songs which are still climbing up the UK Charts.

They are vocalists who are able to use their voices for harmony, rap and melody and produce a new sound.

Storm Duo are in the mix this year and offer the classic male/female duo with a guitar and sweet, harmonious vocals delivering classic tunes.

Also in the Best Group category are two performers who featured in last year’s awards.

But in the months since the 2013 ceremony at the castle, Ollie Cusack and Stephen Tyler have formed the Midnight Riders, with Stephen providing lead vocals and Ollie the backing vocals - and displaying some brilliant skills on his guitar.

39 CW

TEAs are alive with anticipation der the same umbrella, but they are so different when it comes to what type of songs they do.

So this is a tough one.

There is something for everyone in this category, and all of them would be a worthy winner. But we will have to see what happens on the day.

The girls have a much harder task in their choice of songs. The live acts have either two songs or a seven-minute medley with which to demonstrate their amazing voices.

All four girls are great friends and have shown each other lots of support (I think it’s a girl thing!). It’s not just about the song for the girls. It’s about the outfit, too. Not just the one on stage for the performance but the one to arrive in as well until it’s time to sing. And probably an acceptance outfit, too. Obviously three of those will remain in the dressing room. So once the new dress has been accessorised with a new bag and shoes, they will then begin to think about the song choice.

Helena Campbell, who won the award last year, is competing again after a successful year on the circuit. She is a versatile singer who is equally comfortable singing classic power ballads or collaborative, commercial house music.

But the thing about this category is that I could write exactly the same for the other nominees. There is not a lot separating them in ability or talent.

Hayley Butler is nominated for the first time in this category, and she’s over the moon to be in among those she believes to be the best of the best.

They are predominantly rockers, but both guys are versatile and could really take anything on.

Vocal duo Uproar complete this category. Paul Monroe and Darren Clarke have been friends for over two decades and had worked together in the UK many years ago before re-uniting here in Tenerife.

Their style is all about the vocals. Essentially, they are both lead singers but both have a vast knowledge of music and are able to deliver difficult harmonies.

All four acts in this category may come un-

Lisa Bridge is still in a state of utter amazement at how well her new life has taken off here, just 12 months after relocating here to ply her trade.

Bleu Travelle has been working on this circuit for some years and has featured in the awards in previous years. She, along with her three friends, will be hoping to wow the audience on the day.

I’m sure we will all be treated to some fantastic vocal acrobatics from the girls.

Regardless of the song choice in either category, it really is about the performance. Who could ever forget the 2012 awards, when the live category was won by live band Kick. But was it the song choices or the fact that the three boys, Steve, Didi & Johnny, were wearing just cowboy boots and green mankinis?

I can’t, or I refuse to, imagine Uproar or T2K in Speedos - or any kind of extrovert costume.

I do know that all nominees in the live “vote-on-the-day” categories are planning on putting on a show. And a few have hinted to me that they have a trick or two up their sleeves.

I but in the end, it’s all about the performance, so good luck to all nominees.

Voting will continue until midnight on 5th October, and there are two ways in which to cast your votes: By SMS text message to (0034)639101311 or via the online voting form at www.teaawards.com.

All other details, including the nominees in other categories, can be found on pages 40 & 41 of this issue.

Sunday’s Nominees’ Gala

NOMINEES for the TEAs across all categories have been invited to a champagne reception and press call at the Magic Lounge Club on Sunday, from 4pm.

This is another new aspect to the awards this year, and it promises to be a brilliant afternoon, with performances from some of the en-

trants.

It is open to the public and will be hosted

by Roscoe, from Oasis Fm. You will not find as many entertainers un-

der one roof outside of the awards ceremony itself.

Dress code for the nominees is “Red Carpet Ready” and, with Spanish and

British local press in attendance, they’re brushing down their posh threads already!

It’s a chance to hear some of the tal-

ent chasing your vote at the TEAs, and i’m certain it will be another excellent afternoon, just three weeks before the big day itself.

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TEAs

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TEAs

41 CW

CW 42

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Health & Beauty

By Val Sainsbury WOULD you believe it! For years, doctors and specialists have been telling us that salt raises our blood pressure.

Now we are being told, as a result of startling new research, that sugar -the complete opposite - is far more dangerous.

It had been thought that salt increased the risk of strokes by a quarter, and it has been credited with three million worldwide deaths a year.

But this shock study claims sugar is more related to blood pressure than sodium.

The US researchers responsible for this new outlook argue that high sugar levels affect a key area of the brain, which causes the heart rate to

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Sugar such a bitter pill

quicken and blood pressure to rise.

The scientists, from New York and Kansas, also highlight a recent study of 8,670 French adults, which found no link between salt and high blood pressure.

But in an article in the American Journal of Cardiology, researchers led by Dr James DiNicolantonio state: “It is sugar not the salt that may be the actual causative factor for high blood pressure.

“This notion is supported by meta analyses of randomised control trials (large-scale studies), suggesting that sugar is more strongly related to blood pressure in humans than sodium.

For years, the public have been urged to slash their salt intake, and guidelines state it should be restricted to a teaspoon a day “Encouraging consumers to hold the sugar, not the salt, may be the better dietary strategy to achieve blood pressure control.”

Some 25% of adults in the UK have high blood pressure, which increases the risk of strokes and heart disease enormously.

This research is further evidence of the health risks posed by eating too much sugar.

In June, officials issued new guidelines, urging the public to limit themselves to between five and seven teaspoons a day because of concerns that it causes obesity and type 2 diabetes.

The American researchers believe that high sugar levels affect a key area of the brain

called the hypothalamus, which quickens the heart rate and causes high blood pressure.

They also believe it may cause our bodies to produce more insulin, a hormone which may also speed up the heart rate.

Dr DiNicolantonio, a heart disease research scientist at Saint Luke’s Mid America Heart Institute in Kansas City, also contradicts those experts who claim reducing salt consumptions will lower levels of obesity and heart disease.

He adds: “We argue the

opposite. A reduction in salt intake may lead to an increased intake in processed foods (and added sugars) and, thereby, increase the risk of diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular disease.’

The reasons are complicated, but it is felt that low salt levels increase the amount of certain fats in the blood.

Dr Aseem Malhotra, a cardiologist and science director of Action on Sugar, a campaign group, said the public health risk posed by sugar had been underestimated.

He added: “We know that sugar does not provide any nutrients, and there is growing evidence thst it is an independent risk factor for many diseases.

Some experts want the Government to impose a sugar tax on fizzy drinks,. although ministers have so far rejected these calls.

But Professor Graham McGregor, an expert in cardiovascular medicine at Queen Mary, the

University of London, said the evidence blaming sugar rather than salt for high blood pressure was “incredibly weak”.

He said that research spanning several decades had shown a strong link between salt and high blood pressure.

Guidelines from Public Health England, the agency responsible for tackling obesity, stated in June that women should have no more than five to six teaspoons of sugar a day and men seven to eight.

But the average adult consumes 15 teaspoons largely because of sandwiches and ready meals.

The Government’s chief advisor on obesity, Professor Susan Jebb, has also urged parents to ban fruit juice and fizzy drinks from the dinner table in favour of water.

Experts are also worried that sugar is behind an increase in tooth decay in children and could affect their ability to learn.

A waist of life, or death!

THE key to living longer is having a waist measurement no bigger than half your height.

Scientists have devised a simple formula which predicts how many years of life you will lose to obesity.

And they claim that regardless of age, gender or ethnicity, the rule is applicable.

It is worked out by measuring around the

waist - technically between the lowest rib and hip bone - making sure you do not breathe in.

As long as this is half your height or less, you should live to the average life expectancy, which is around 81 years.

But for every few inches over, you face losing months or even years of life.

For example, an average 30-year-old man who is 5ft 10in tall (70 inches) should have a waist size no bigger than 35 inches. A 30-year-old 5ft 4in

woman should have a waist size of 32 inches or under.

But if the man’s waist size expands to 42 inches - or 60% - it will knock 1.7 years off

his life, according to the formula. Likewise, if the woman’s waist grows to 38.4in, she will lose 1.4 years.

This may not sound much, but it adds up

quickly if someone is severely obese.

A 30-year-old man of 5ft 10in with a 56in waist can expect to lose 20.2 years from his life expectancy. And a woman with a 51in waist will die 10.6 years earlier.

Researchers at Cass Business School, City University, London, came up with the calculation after looking at records of more than 300,000 adults, spanning 20 years.

Dr Margaret Ashwell told the Sunday Times that it should be used as a simple health check which anyone can do at home.

She added that waist circumference is important because it shows the amount of central fat in the body which is linked to high cholesterol, diabetes and heart disease.

She also believes the waist-to-height ratio is a far more reliable predictor of ill-health and obesity than the Body Mass Index (BMI), which is widely used by doctors.

“People are living in

false hope if they rely on their BMI figures,” said the doctor. “We have got to measure the right thing.”

The BMI compares a person’s weight to their height, and puts around 60% of Britons in the obese or overweight category.

But Dr Ashwell said that if the Government were to use waist measurement instead, this would go up to around 69%.

Professor Les Mayhew, who was also involved in the study, to be published by the Public Library of Science, said: “There is now overwhelming evidence that Government policy should place greater emphasis on waistto-height ratio as a screening tool.”

However, Dr Rachel Pryke, clinical spokesman on nutrition at the Royal College of GPs, said it was unclear whether “worrying people about their weight actually motivates them to make a long-term commitment to lifestyle changes”.

www.canarianweekly.com

Hair & Fashion

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

It’s true... you really can hold back the years!

Stay level-headed and keep feet flat!

By Ruth Benson

By Carl from Robot

WE are nearing the end of London Fashion Week, which is the industry’s annual highlight for UK designers.

NO woman likes to see in her mirror the signs that she is ageing… especially with her hair.

The catwalk has been exhibiting the latest fashion trends by the most prestigious designers, worn by the most in-demand models. And those seated in the front row are the most influential of celebrities.

So what has happened so far?

Over the week there will have been 82 designers on display, all wanting to create the most unique and memorable show.

The catwalk collections have leaned towards comfort, and the clothes shown are to be worn during the spring/ summer of 2015 and, therefore, need to reflect the time of year.

One notable trend has been fake fur, which has been revealed in all colours - and is not just coats but as accessories as well.

The key trend for feet is to keep it flat. Slippers, loafers, espadrilles and trainers were not only spotted on the catwalk but on the front row.

A lot of the collections have also gone feminine, with pleats, ruffles and frills. There was even an Eighties feel with puffball skirts.

I wore a puff-ball in the Eighties and in no way are they flattering, or worth bringing back. Accessories are essential to finish any outfit off and this year’s “must” bag is the bucket bag.

A bucket-shaped bag with a draw-string fastening has been spotted on anyone who is anyone.

High-street chain Topshop based its collection on the resurrection of the Northern Soul era, along with a youthful, vibrant image - similar to that of the mods and rockers - and being bright young things.

Cara Delavigne, the

most talked-about model at the moment, opened and closed the show. Along with a host of young British models, she exhibited the clothes to a host of “young”, front-row famous women.

They included Pixie Geldof, Ellie Goulding, Daisy Lowe and Alexa Chung - all strategically placed to appeal to Topshop customers.

Julien Macdonald’s collection including his 4m euro dress (featured on page 17) was feminine and frilly, floaty and delicate and could have come straight from a Disney Princess film.

At the other end of the scale, Tom Ford’s collection didn’t leave much to the imagination. Tassels and tape feature heavily in the collection, especially over the nipple area.

High heels, black and gold and a slight hint of sexiness was the theme

for his range. But the most talked-about collection up to now has been that of Vivienne Westwood; not because of the clothing range but because all her models wore a “Yes” badge - her view on the referendum in Scotland yesterday (Thursday).

Not only did the models display her view, but every seat had the following statement on it: “Am so excited. Fingers-crossed, they will win it because if they do, it could be a turning point for a better world.

They could lead by example.”

As we all know, fashion can be used to make a point and Vivienne, from London and as English as they come, is no stranger to putting her point across.

I am sure there will be more to be talked about and seen before the close of the yearly event.

Watch this space...

43 CW

The odd white hair peeping through ... thinning a little or a lot … lack of the volume you once had...

What could be even worse is hearing your stylist informing you, and you’re cringing in the chair? Or being told this, and then being shown how to make the best of what you have.

There’s absolutely nothing worse than trying to hold back the years with long hair especially tied up on your head when you’re in your Fifties.

No, I’m not advising everyone to have short hair, but just soften things up a little with a wearable cut that you can recreate at home.

I never send out clients with cuts they cannot take care of themselves because there’s no point.

The next day, they’re only going to feel let down by their new style as they try to create that overly-done blowdry in the salon.

Instead, they should go for simple, flattering shapes that take minutes rather than hours to do - less is more, as they say.

If you are battling those white hairs, then think twice about

colouring it your natural colour because it’s not going to get better.

Those white hairs will double in a year, and a darker colour will just spotlight those silver strands even more.

Going lighter is the better option. No, I’m not suggesting blonde for everyone. Just start to move up a shade to get used to your new colour.

There’s no age limit to looking good, honestly! I have clients in their eighties who look stunning for their age. And that’s all down to the fact that they haven’t stuck with the same look they had years ago, and that they have modified their colours.

No one wants to feel or look her age, so don’t give up on trying a new you.

Yes, people still look at you and your hair, after your eyes. And teeth is the thing we notice most.

Take a long look in the mirror the next time you are styling your hair, or your stylist shows you it in the mirror, and ask yourself: “Is this really how I want people to see me?

“If the answer is No then you know who to call.

CW 44

www.canarianweekly.com

A Senior View & Community News

By Monica Dyson

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Big-bellied blokes need a Charles Atlas today!

WHEN I was at school, there were very few fat kids.

In fact, most of us were downright skinny - despite all the efforts of our mothers to feed us up after the war.

Those who were overweight could usually blame genes for their size.

So things have gone a full circle, to an age when most people struggle with the fat they have accumulated.

Sometimes, you can be hard-pressed to find a man whose stomach doesn’t enter the room before he does. And I’m not saying anything about women!

I know the local gyms are full of people who are obsessed with the body beautiful, or genuinely do just want to keep fit.

But by and large, people eat too much and don’t get enough exercise. Statistics tell us that is true.

Yet at one time, to be skinny was not something men wanted to be. They all wanted to be like Charles Atlas … although being skinny never hurt the career of Frank Sinatra.

In the early 20th century, the use of weights and barbells was just catching on, with bodybuilding a fringe movement usually seen as men performing at carnivals.

The Great Depression, lasting more or less from the late Thirties to the mid-Forties, didn’t lend itself to obesity. So, generally, people were thin.

But once there was a bit more money around, British men became interested in advertisements coming out of America promising Lessons in manliness, or Let me prove in 7 days that I can make you a new man!

To men who had lost confidence in themselves, Charles Atlas proved to be a source of hope and inspiration. He had gone from

a scrawny kid to what was described as The absolute masculine ideal, having designed his own keep-fit programme based on isometric exercises which he had thought up after observing animals at the Bronx Zoo. Born in Italy, although moving to America when he was 10 and named Angelo Siciliano, he changed his name to Charles Atlas as being more in keeping with his new body.

His new name stemmed from a friend, who remarked that he now looked like the statue of Atlas on top of the Atlas Hotel.

The Dynamic Tension course of lessons were advertised in periodicals of the time, showing Charles Atlas in amazing leopardskin Speedos, and proved to be the longest-lasting, most memorable series of adverts of all time.

Who can forget the skinny young man accompanied by a female companion, who is threatened by a bully?

He sends for the Charles Atlas book, completes the course and then goes to sort out the thug.

Or Mac, who had sand kicked into his face on the beach and was taunted as being a weakling, later seeking out the perpetrator on the beach and giving him what for!

And what about In-

sult turned chump into champ. Joe, at the fairground who cannot ring the bell on the hammer game, sends for the course of lessons and then wins every time!

So successful was the advertising that even world boxing champs Rocky Marciano and Joe Louis sent for information.

More in need of body-

building was King George VI and Mahatma, who both made inquiries. And, in fact, during the Thirties and Forties, two dozen women worked eight hours a day just opening letters of inquiry from around the world.

Charles Atlas was the toast of New York City, becoming friends with people like President Franklin Roosevelt and

Bob Hope. He won contests in Physical Culture magazine for being The world’s most beautiful man, and, again, for The world’s most developed man.

He even posed for the George Washington statue in Washington Square Park, and for the figure of Patriotism at the Elks National headquarters in Chicago.

Visiting the UK in 1936, he remarked, generally, that English men were in better shape than their American counterparts who, by and large, let their bellies slip down below their belts!

I don’t think he’d say that today about British men!

And there were references to him in numerous songs and musicals, including Sand In My Face by 10CC, She’s Your Love Now

by Bob Dylan, We Are The Champions by Queen and, perhaps, most famous of all, I Can Make You A Man from The Rocky Horror Show.

Rarely has his name been absent from comics, video games and lit-

erature, and he has certainly been the greatest body-builder in history.

An enormous part of the appeal of Charles Atlas, in a moralistic time, was that he was a clean-living man who believed in a clean and healthy lifestyle.

He didn’t smoke or drink and was a devoted family man, enjoying 47 years of happy marriage until his wife passed away and left him broken-hearted. He even had books published on relationship advice and child-rearing.

The mail-order business Charles Atlas founded has been around for more than 82 years and, though he died in 1972 at the age of 79, it continues to be successful worldwide.

I tend to think that the Charles Atlas programme is something men used to order under plain cover, hoping to astound people with the change in their appearance.

I only ever knew one man who ordered it and he found it difficult to actually open the package!

Live Arico news

It’s Top Square time again OUR threemonthly extravaganzas on Golf del Sur’s Top Square at San Blas is here again - tonight (Friday).

Suzy Q will be introducing great entertainment from Michaela Jay, Alfie, Caroline, Colin Stevens’ comedy drag show, Tanya Tevaro and a bit of Glam Rock if we have time, The Big Xmas raffle Our Christmas raffle tickets are just two euros, and the draw will he held on Golf del Sur on Boxing Day. Top prize is a Samsung Tab 4, next is a Samsung S4 Mini Smart Phone with third prize a Samsung Tab 3.

Tickets are now on

sale in our charity shops, with more outlets to be added next week.

Live Arico shops If you have quality

unwanted clothes, cds, dvds, shoes, household items or children’s clothing, call Siobhan now on 630 857 626.

We have shops in Los

Cristianos, Calle Revron near Churchills Bar, and San Eugenio, opposite Hotel La Nina

by Amandas bar at las Carabelas complex.

Both shops open from 10-4 Monday to Friday, and until 2pm on Saturdays. Kel even opens the Los Cristianos shop on Sundays, so. come and have a browse, bag a bargain and help the animals.

Dog of the week Niña is such a sweet girl who needs loads of cuddles. She is only a young dog and deserves a loving family. She has been vaccinated, sterilised, and micro-chipped, and all she needs now is that special home.

Please call Sue on 629 388102 to arrange a meeting, or for more information on how you can help.

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Community News

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

45 CW

Accion del Sol news

More than just a mess!

HERE are a few eye-opening facts and figures: 1gram of dog`s muck contains a staggering 23 million bacteria such as salmonella, e coli, tapeworms and roundworms, to name but a few.

And they can cause symptoms such as fe-

ver, shock, lethargy, dehydration, diarrhoea, vomiting, anorexia, anaemia, swollen lymph nodes plus, in severe cases, blindness.

Children, the elderly and infirm people are more susceptible because their immune systems tend to be lower and less resistant to the bacteria.

So what happens to the dog’s mess which is not picked up? Decomposition begins and the

toxic bacteria and pathogens seep into the soil, multiplying as they go.

And with the ground’s moisture, the faeces can find its way into our water system - and it can even end up on our beaches.

It has been argued that dog waste is as toxic to the environment as chemical and oil-spills.

So please, as a nation of animal lovers and to help protect our paths, walkways, beaches and

open spaces, don’t turn a blind eye in the hope that no one is watching.

Please clean up after your dog - and you might even avoid a hefty fine from the local authorities, who have recently been clamping down on irresponsible dog owners

Fund-raising walkies On a much lighter note, please join our next fund-raising event on 5th October from 10am at the refuge.

We would like you to walk a dog from the refuge - or you are welcome to bring your own dog - down to the sea. Then,

after a cold drink, enjoy a gentle stroll back to the refuge, followed by a buffet lunch and music to entertain us. The cost is 10 euros per person, including a T-shirt, and we need your registration prior to the event. So please email teneriffa@ aktiontier.org

Craft Group brush up again IT’S that time of year again for all you crafty folk to come along to Silencio Family Church, in Coral Mar.

The Craft Group meetings are held on the first Wednesday of each month, from 1st October through to April.

Last year we had many different crafts, varying from Wax art, One-stroke brushpainting, Jewellery making, Zentangle, Patchwork, Crossstitch, Dressmaking, Macrame … and many more crafts.

We all learn from each other and have a super time because we are a friendly group who are waiting to welcome you with your own craft.

Or just come along and learn a new one, and enjoy a cuppa and a chat.

The first meeting (1st Oct) starts at 11am until 2pm and the cost is three euros. You can

either bring a sandwich or buy something locally to eat. Silencio Family Church is located in Coral Mar Centre,

which is about 100 metres from the bus stop.

Contact Irene on 602 586 565 for more details of the grpup.

San Miguel Lions playing a blinder for Guargacho!

SAN MIGUEL Lions Club has supplied UD Guargacho football club with plenty of training gear to help ease their financial woes.

The club run no fewer than 16 teams, ranging in age groups from four years to 19, but their only means of income is from annual subs.

The Lions heard about the situation and visit-

ed the stadium to offer help. Secretary Ralph Solomon was more than impressed with the glittering array of trophies and shields adorning the office.

“It shows the level of success they have achieved over the years,” said Ralph. “It’s great to see so many children enjoying training in the evenings.

“We asked what we could do to help, and the main thing they required was training gear, like 20 footballs bibs, etc.

“This was agreed and, hopefully, they are now making full use of the equipment.”

The UD Guaragacho President has already hung the San Miguel Lions’ Club pendant in the football club’s office, alongside the trophies.

As with all the generous Lions clubs here in the South, all the assistance to deserving causes they provide takes money.

And San Miguel Lions are kicking off their own new season with

a 60s-80s fund-raising afternoon on Sunday, 19th October, at Coral Bar, Coral Mar, Costa del Silencio, from 1pm. Entertainment will be supplied

by Ady Evans.

The price, along with a hot-and-cold buffet, is just 12 euros, to include a quiz and special prizes.

San Miguel Lions’ Charity Shops are open daily from 10am-2pm, Monday-Friday, in The Dip, at Silencio.

Along with a good stock of quality items

at reasonable prices, the shop also sells hand-made items from a day-care centre the Lions also look after. So come along and have a good look round.

The club still features its monthly auctions on the first Friday of every month, the next being on 3rd October at Bar Kiosco Amador, above the Charity Shop.

Staff are always pleased to receive clothes, furniture, brica-brac etc, so please don’t throw it away but

pass it on to the Lions’ shop.

If you fancy helping in the Charity Shop, just call in and make yourself known to our club members, who will be wearing Lions’ shirts.

And if you really feel the need to take an active role in the Lions, why not join the Club, Full details can be obtained at the shop.

Or, if it’s more convenient, just ask a Lion at any of their club functions.

CW 46

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Food

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Tuck in, all over Adeje ADEJE’S food festival, called Degusta Me, is well underway and it still has another 10 days to run, finishing on 28th September.

As part of the festivities, there is an excellent “La Ruta de La Tapa” (Tapas route), which will help you celebrate the region’s fine food.

Most of the route will promote the cheese, honey and gofio dishes, but there are lots of special foods to sample.

Adeje has organised a range of activities, including wine-tasting and food and cookery demonstrations.

These are the 27 official food outlets taking part 1. Tasca Don Alfredo Calle Nueva Nº 51 - Adeje Centro 922 758 757 2. Asador de Adeje Calle Tinerfe el Grande Nº5 - Adeje Centro 922 782 018 3. La Tasca Italiana Plaza Venezuela Nº 9 Adeje Centro 922 775 510 4. Tasca Pica-Pica Calle Manuel Bello Ramos Nº 54- Adeje Centro 5. Armona Cafe’s Plaza de La Cruz del Llano Nº 9 - Adeje Centro 6. Al Borgo 33 Calle Grande Nº33 Adeje Centro 922 782 421 7. Restaurante La Rambla Calle Grande Nº 7 - Adeje Centro 922 710 428 8. Hotel Fonda Central Calle Grande Nº26 Adeje Centro 922 781 550 9. Taberna Tres J Calle Grande Nº 8 - Adeje Centro 10. Cafeteria Centro Cultural de Adeje Calle Príncipe Pelinor, Nº 16 - Adeje Centro 11. Tasca El Cañon Calle Piedra Redonda Nº12 - La Postura, Adeje 12.

Cafeteria-Restaurante Compostela Calle Piedra Redonda Nº 20 - La Postura, Adeje 922 781 987 13. Cerveceria Polar Calle Lujan Pérez Nº 31 - La Postura, Adeje 922 710 350 14. La Tasquita

Calle Lujan Pérez Nº 22 - La Postura, Adeje 922 781 442 15. Bocateria Zumeria Tinguaro Avd. Constitución Nº 36 - La Postura, Adeje 922 780 768 16. Sam Restuarante Avda. La Constitución Nº 54 - La Postura, Adeje 17.

Restaurante La Caleta Calle El Muelle Nº 19 La Caleta, Adeje 922 780 675 18. Caleta Mar Restuarante Calle El Muelle Nº 7 - La Caleta, Adeje 922 780 723 19. Restuarante Celso Calle del Cabezo Nº 24 La Caleta, Adeje 922 710 968 20. Fase Uno Cafe Avd. Madroñal Nº 35, Edf. Karma - El Madroñal, Adeje 922 712 781

21. LA Fugazzeta Calle Galicia S/N, C.C. Cosmos L.14 - Torviscas Alto, Adeje 922 713 577 22. La Alacena Calle El Drago, Urb. Miraverde L.2 - Miraverde, Adeje 922 717 686 23. Centro Soociocultural Asturiano Calle Idafe S/N, Urb. Belverede - Playa Paraíso, Costa Adeje 24. Baobab Suite Calle Roques del Salmor Nº 5 - Costa Adeje 25. Acanto Tapas Avd. Bruselas S/N, Centro Comercial El Mirador - Costa Adeje 922 724 781 26. Restuarante Sobo Avd. Bruselas S/N, Centro Comercial El Mirador - Costa Adeje 922 724 781 27. Rajissimo Centro Comercial Plaza del Duque, Local B48 - Costa Adeje 922 718 108

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Motoring

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

47 CW

Audi is still TT tops

By Jav IT’S lighter, more agile and with a fabulous new interior – and that ensures Audi’s new TT Coupe is not only better than ever but even more desirable to followers.

It almost certainly means as well that the UK’s love affair with the Audi TT Coupe is destined to grow even stronger.

Brits buy more TTs than any other country, so there’s a substantial weight of expectation on the shoulders of this all-new, third-generation model.

Are Audi concerned.

Not a bit because the latest TT, based on VW Group’s MQB platform, retains the Audi Space Frame aluminium and steel hybrid construction of previous models.

And it is lighter, more efficient and faster than ever.

Okay, with prices starting at £29,860 for the Sport TFSI, it is also more expensive than ever, but it oozes desirability and it will continue to win the hearts a of UK buyers.

It’s initially available in Sport and S line trims with 227bhp 2.0-litre TFSI petrol or 182bhp 2.0-litre TDI Ultra die-

sel engines. The petrol model is offered with a choice: go for the sixspeed manual gearbox and you must have front-wheel drive; go for the six-speed S tronic dual-clutch transmission and you can have quattro only.

And if you plump for the diesel, the only combination available is front-wheel drive with a manual gearbox. However, on the plus side, the 110g/km CO2 emissions are impressively low for a sports car.

The two-wheel-drive TFSI is likely to make up the largest proportion of UK sales, and this was the TT version test-driven by experts.

The car, instantly recognisable from the first glance, has shorter overhangs and a tighterlooking nose, although the unmistakable TT styling cues remain, with the familiar rounded wheel arches, curved windscreen pillars, bold shoulder line and sloping tailgate.

Yet for all the exterior’s classy familiarity, the cabin is the stand-out feature.

Stunningly designed and beautifully executed, it focuses on Audi’s superb Virtual Cockpit system.

This 12.3-inch highresolution LCD display replaces the conventional dials, and does

away with the need for a centre-stack screen, allowing for a sleek, minimalist dashboard.

The screen is crystal clear and places all information in front of the driver. You can switch the display between Classic View – with prominent speedo and rev counter - and Infotainment View, which brings functions like the navigation map or audio screen to the fore.

Telephone and trip settings also appear on the Virtual Cockpit screen and all functions can be controlled using the touch-sensitive MMI controller or the multifunction wheel.

As you’d expect, the drive also impresses.

Audi’s TT have always blended sports car driver enjoyment with everyday usability. The latest coupe brings it on a step further. It is 50kg lighter than its predecessor, and the turbo engine is punchy and smooth, taking this TT from 0-62mph in six seconds.

On front-wheel-drive TFSI cars such as this, Drive Select adjusts throttle response, exhaust note and steering weighting, while the Efficiency mode reduces fuel consumption.

Magnetic Ride dampers are again offered as an option, but with

little road and wind noise, the TT strikes a better balance than ever between sports car fun and coupe comfort.

The original TT was a landmark car for Audi and it’s spared no effort on the third-generation coupe. The design, quality and detailing of the cabin is simply stunning, while on the outside, the stylish looks have gently evolved.

Performance, refinement, economy and emissions gains are matched to sharper handling and a more engaging driving experience.

Yes, The TT is certainly back to its very best.

Boris banks on scrappage scheme clean-up DRIVERS could receive as much as £2,000 to scrap their dirty diesel cars as part of a £300m proposal to clean up the roads.

London Mayor Boris Johnson is asking the British Government to reward motorists for ditching the most polluting diesels in a bid to help London meet stringent EU smog laws.

Cars would need to be older than 12 months,

and around 300,000 diesels could be included.

The colourful Mayor has already announced his plans for a £10 extra fee for diesels entering the London congestion charge zone from 2020 to help reduce nitrogen dioxide emissions.

And at the Environmental Audit Committee, Boris said it was “only fair” that the Government provide support to those who had

bought diesels in “good faith”.

Diesels now make up 50% of the UK car market and are genuinely popular with companycar drivers.

“Everyone should be very clear that this has been a massive failure of policy,” said Boris.

“Millions were told they were doing the right thing, the environmentally-friendly thing, by buying a diesel.

They feel very hacked off now they’re told they are more polluting.”

Diesels generally return better emission and economy figures than petrols, but they are worse for sulphur and nitrogen dioxide.

Tiny particles emitted from diesels called PM2.5 and PM10 have been linked to thousands of deaths related to air pollution in London.

The UK is in breach of EU air-pollution laws, with London unlikely to meet EU standards until 2030.

But two-thirds of the target will be met by the Ultra Low Emission Zone, which comes into effect from 2020, when cars entering central London will have to be ultra-low or zero-emission vehicles.

The Government has already announced plans to help the fight

against pollution by giving 17 local authorities grants totalling £5 million to fit cleaner tech to vehicles such as buses and the emergency services.

Yet the diesel scrappage scheme proposed by the Mayor does not mean all diesels will be forced off the road.

Already, new-car buyers can now get hold of Euro 6 diesel engines which meet super-strict EU emissions regulations, and these will be the norm from next year.

CW 48 PRIZE Godoku!

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WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl The rules of Godoku are simple just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid.

When you have completed it a word will appear.

Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 24th September and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.

Last Weeks winner (Issue 869): Ian Berry Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 24th October to pick up and use your vouchers.

This week’s letters: B I N O R S T U W

This week’s mystery clue: Colonel Rice makes his first appearance in an Agatha Christie mystery featuring a man wearing this (9 letters).

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Caption Competition WIN! 2 tickets to see The Sound of Musicals Send us through your funniest caption to go with the photo below and you could win 2 tickets to see The Sound of Musicals at Showtime, Karting, Las Americas.

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W

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

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W N O

30-Second Brain Training Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

1

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9

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Beginner

8

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2

7

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80

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-13

x4

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2

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+62

20% of this

Answer

-10

3/5 of this

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8

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What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

3

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x4 +212

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4/7 of this 3/11 of this

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-53 Answer

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-119

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Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 24th October to pick up and use your vouchers.

Advanced

8

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1

123 +57 6

7

-88

2/5 of this

4/9 of this

-12

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x3 +661 Answer

+31

1/6 of this

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Godoku:

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6

Last Issue's Answers: Brain Training: Beginner: 147 Intermediate: 32 Advanced: 24

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

Winning Caption (Issue 869): “Oh well there are plenty more fish in the sea” Winner: Sarah Hardy

4 3

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Free Ads / Classified

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

49 CW

Jobs A busy bar in Los Cristianos requires two extra staff: An experienced Cook to manage the kitchen and help expand the catering side. A cook / bar person (2 days kitchen / 3 days bar). Five Day working week, successful applicants must have NIE and Social no. Telephone 698 450 350 after 11:00am Waitress required for family bar /restaurant in Las Americas. Must be reliable and able to work as part of a team. NIE is to your advantage as contract will be given. Call 620 120 129

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop).

Deadline for Free ads is Tuesdays at 4pm. Up to 500 euros only.

Cars/BIKES

B Funky fashion shows are looking for International girls to model swimwear in the South of Tenerife for an immediate start. Must be presentable and speak good English, other languages an advantage. Sales or PR experience essential. Daily work, salary, commissions paid and contracts given. Call José between 11am & 5pm on 606 181 946 CLC World Resorts & Hotels are currently looking for professional, motivated, British sales consultants and Managers to join their In-house and Fly-Buy teams. Successful applicants will enjoy high volume commissions and fantastic quality resorts. Full training is provided. For a confidential interview, please call Kinder Singh on 659 067 438 or Christine Gibson on 607 849 900.

Thomas ride on, not charging properly but still fab 2 push along (or mite be easy 2 fix), includes track, 40 euros. 2 x XL mens, left hand golf gloves, 10 euros each. Grey marl 3 piece suit, jacket and waistcoat, 40L and trousers, 34L, 20 euros. Timberland juumper, XL, 10 euros.

Events management level 3 course from www.openstudycollege. com, 300 euros including name change. Tel: 637 206 026

Opportunity available for commission-only outbound Sales Representatives in territory. An established company is looking for enthusiastic, selfmotivated individuals who are hungry to earn money and who have a strong and determined attitude to succeed. Realistic earnings of €50k+ Immediate start. Full training given. Sales experience essential. Contact: (0044) 757 253 5122

Steam press iron on stand, 50 euros. Over locker machine with carrying case. 60 euros. Large canvas print, Paris street scene, 50 euros, Callao Salvaje, Tel: 677 371 219

Established resort in the south of Tenerife requires professional and dedicated Scandinavian representatives for an exciting new in-house operation. Good commissions available. Please e-mail your CV and contact telephone number to: jobs@destinationtenerife.com or telephone 922 719 271.

IKEA child bed with mattress and roll guard, 50 euros ono. Adeje area. Tel: 686 115 725

Experienced Waitresses and bar staff wanted for evening work. Must have NIE and Social Number. Immediate start and good rates of pay in a busy venue. Tel: 648 214 095

Rotovator, 6 horsepower engine, good condition, 300 euros. Las Chafiras. Tel: 611 243 600 Aluminium, 16-gear, multi-folding bike, 75 euros. Diving belt with 6kg weights, 20 euros. Gent's mountain bike, 55 euros. Inflatable double bed, in-built electric motor, 40 euros. Tel: 600 700 521.

2 portable TVs, 7 euros each. Phillips stereo, CD player with speakers, 10 euros. Brand-new, tall white cupboard with red drawers and edging, 45 euros. Punchbag, 40 euros. 2 grey wicker patio chairs, 10 euros. Exercise bike, 10 euros. Recordable DVD player with remote control, 20 euros. Computer monitor, 5 euros.

Large yucca tree, 7 euros. Xmas tree, 5 euros. Juicer, 7 euros. Large pine mirror 7 euros. Table-top ironing board, 5 euros. Wooden folding patio table, 5 euros. Over 50 books, 20 cents each or 8 euros the lot. Shopping trolley, 5 euros. Scrabble and Monopoly board games, 5 euros the pair. Nintendo game cube and various games, 10 euros. Video player, 5 euros. Green and white desk lamp, 3 euros. 2 large suitcases, 15 euros each. Offers accepted on all. San Eugenio alto area. Tel: 606 540 253 or 922 713 314 Silver TV unit (3 glass shelves) on wheels, 10 euros. Pink kitchen set - bowl, drainer & tray, colander & sieve, 5 euros. Blue bath mat, 1.50 euros. Doormat, 1.50 euros. Black bin, 5 euros. Large wok (good quality), 5 euros. Dinner set, good quality and condition, 4 x dinner plates, 4 x side plates, 4 x dishes, 4 x mugs, 20 euros. IKEA stainless steel cutlery set and holder, 5 euros. Bosch hairdryer, 5 euros. 4 Coca-Cola glasses, 2 euros.

20 x 0-3 months girls' vests, 10 euros. 16 x 0-3 months girls' sleepsuits, 10 euros. 0-3 months white dress, worn once, 1.50 euros. Top & bottom, worn once, 1.50 euros. Long-sleeved blue dress & tights, 1.50 euros. 2 long-sleeved, brand-new pineapple dresses, worn once, 10 euros for both or 5.50 euros each. All 0-3 months - brand- new pink Bamini jacket, 4 euros. Brandnew cream Bamini top & cord bottoms, 4 euros. Junior J (Jasper Conran) outfit with cardi attached, worn twice, 4 euros. Brandnew with tags Bamini cord red reindeer dress & top, 4 euros.

Bunny jumpsuit, 1.25 euros. Pink dress & shorts suit, 1.25 euros.

Flower jumpsuit, 1.25 euros. 1 x gripe water, 2.50 euros. Brand new pink booties, 2 euros per pair. Long-sleeved white & pink dress, - 1.25 euros. Los Cris. Tel: 687 058 928, Kids' hard-plastic coloured easel, with attached storage box for pencils, crayons etc, 10 euros. Single gas stove in lightweight carry-case for camping etc, 10 euros. Stepladders (half set), 7 euros. Two comfortable plastic reclining sunchairs, with cushioned coverings, 25 euros each. For kids - hard plastic double animal seal See-waw, 10 euros. Mookie Dragonfly trike bike/scooter, (folds up), 15 euros. Playskool Poppin ball park, 10 euros. Girl's pink plastic Moto/motorbike with horn, 10 euros.

Disney pixar cars 2 McQueen and Mack Trailer walkie-talkies, in box as new, hardly used, 15 euros. Teletubbies DVDs, Musical Rhyme Time, 2 euros, Ready Steady Dance, 2 euros, Naughty Noo-noo, 2 euros. Aqui Llegan Los Teltubbies (also in English), 2 euros. Genuine Escada, black long-sleeved top with sequin, size 12-18 months, 8 euros. Tommee Tipee manual breast pump, with box and instructions, 5 euros. 11 non-reclining sunbeds, white plastic, with green covering. Mixed condition, ideal for a complex or will sell individually, 15 euros each or will strike a deal for all. Collect from Fañabe area, Tel: 922 716 350 or 652 291 182

Air-conditioning

Cars/BIKES

VW Polo 1.8 GTi Turbo 5 door.

2007, 104,000km, silver, full service history, ITV, 1 owner from new, all extras including air con, PAS, CD, alloys. Excellent condition.

7,000 euros ono.

Can be viewed at Karting Las Americas.

Call 659 202 826

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Alternative therapy Do not live with pain: Massage Therapy in Los Cristianos. 30 mins 15.00 euro. 634 713 007 or 662 521 867

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

CW 50

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Service Point

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Construction (cont.)

Blinds

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779

Insurance

Cars Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers Electrician

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel.

Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA - making happy feet between El Medano and Los Gigantes for 18 years. Tel: 608 029 790

Cleaning

Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Computers

Fans

Telephone: 922 736 728

Visiting massage for tensed up ladies only.

Call Rocky 625 832 848

E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

Massage

Flowers

Mechanics

Garden Furniture

Patio Doors & Windows

Construction

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Service Point

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Patio Doors & Windows (cont.)

51 CW

Translation

Pool tables

Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

repairs

Personal ServiceS

Cristina, Latin girl in Los Cristianos, accommodating, no limits.

In the calle Noruega next to the Altavista supermarket, hotel/ home visits, call 602 383 409

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more.

Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

Second-hand Shops

Travel Agent

SISSY LOS CRISTIANOS SLIM, SEXY, DOMINATING GOODLOOKING, PRIVATE APARTMENT, CALL : 634 273 126.

Nice, sporty, 30 plus, Spanish lady, certified masseur, toys and naughty lingerie also available. Discrete hotel/home visits.

Reasonable prices. English speaking. Viagra available. Las Americas - Buzanada. Tel: 604 145 735.

2 friends in Las Galletas, hourglass figures, very loving, all services, call 669 738 298 Yessi in Los Cristianos, a good looking party girl from Venezuela, big breasts, no limits, call 627 746 039 Blond & sexy 40 year old in Las Americas, pleasure, massage & much more, call 660 618 331.

New, Latin girl in Calle Noruega in Los Cristianos, French, massage, toys, call 605 072 917.

Young, good looking Brazilian girl in Los Cristianos, full figure, big breasts, all services from â‚Ź50, call 617 564 654.

Furniture & Household Items bought for cash Immediate decisions

Phone Freddie 609 303 634 security

TV and Satellite Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Upholstery cleaning

English model, showgirl, professional striptease, quality service, general entertainment. Stag night, dominatrix, fetish, luxury conditions, visits 24 hours, escort service available, 697 227 139.

Pest control

Windows Plumbing

storage

flexible long & short term

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

STORAGE suitcases, boxes, furniture, cars, bikes, at Tenerife Auction Rooms Las Chafiras, San MIguel de Abona

609 303 634

645 389 207

CW 52

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Advertisement

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Jeepers, keepers… a win!

By Roscoe

CD Tenerife 1 Mirandes 0

IT has taken 147 days, 12 senior matches and a lot of faith, but Tenerife have finally won a game of football.

Phew, I was starting to feel like a Manchester United fan. Actually, Newcastle or Fulham might be closer.

It wasn’t pretty and at times, the defending was a little nervous, but Tenerife got over the line. They have played better this season and lost.

Talking of losing, as I suggested last week, have a glance at the table at the bottom of the page.

The two sides to beat Tenerife are flying. Girona and Ponferradina got fine away results and Ponferradina are the season’s surprise outfit. And Tenerife were the better side in that match. Our new goalie, Jacobo Sanz, looks as though he can handle himself, and he came out fighting this week.

In an interview which has gone some way to winning over the fans, Position

he spoke about the players’ disappointment at the views of some “fans”.

He said: “I don’t know why but at this club (the fans) give us a lot of s***.

You have to be much calmer. It’s a long season - 42 matches.

“You have to stop living in the past. No one should forget that two

years ago this team were in Segunda B, and it was this coach who has raised the team. People here forget things fast.”

I couldn’t agree more.

I’ve raised this point in the column beforehand.

There is often a Chicken Little mentality on the Island.

Alvaro Cervera took us up as league champions

Points

PLD

Won

Draw

Lost

F

A

1 UD Las Palmas

10

4

3

1

0

8

2

2 Girona FC

10

4

3

1

0

6

2

3 SD Ponferradina

9

4

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1

9

4

4 FC Barcelona B

9

4

3

0

1

10

6

5 Real Valladolid CF

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3

6 RC Recreativo

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2

2

0

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1

7 Real Sporting

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8 AD Alcorcón

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9 Real Betis Balompié

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2

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8

10 Deportivo Alavés

5

4

1

2

1

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5

11 Albacete Balompié

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5

12 CD Leganés

5

4

1

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1

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4

13 Club Atlético Osasuna

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1

4

4

14 CD Lugo

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1

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3

15 CD Mirandés

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4

1

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4

16 CD Tenerife

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1

1

2

2

4

17 UE Llagostera

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4

1

1

2

2

4

18 CD Numancia

3

4

1

0

3

6

7

19 Real Zaragoza

3

4

0

3

1

3

6

20 RCD Mallorca

1

4

0

1

3

4

8

21 CE Sabadell FC

1

4

0

1

3

4

10

22 Real Racing Club

0

4

0

0

4

3

8

and, for a long way last season, we looked good for a run at the play-offs.

The matches we have lost don’t seem so bad now, and yet still people are not happy. Maybe we should sign Messi?

Jacobo continued “Let’s be calm. In Greece if you lose a match, you have 20,000 fans who want to give you stick and break your car!

“When a club receives an injection of cash and wages are paid, there is a certain demand. But when it does not exist, we must be realistic.

“Real Betis has 10 times the budget and 40,000 members.

The little teams can beat the big teams but not always.

In the Second Division, with work and effort you can achieve higher goals, but you cannot realistically move from Third Division to the First Division.

This club has been in La Liga but also in Segunda B. Circumstances are different now. So we need to keep calm. If we start to throw s*** around, then we are in trouble as a club.”

Strong words. Sensible words. But since when have fans been sensible?

Back to the match and it was a largely-forgettable encounter. Tenerife’s

attackers were poor and Mirandes never really looked like getting back into the game after Iker Guarrotxena’s seventhminute goal.

The youngster is starting to find his feet and looks an asset. But there are problems up front.

Uli Davila looks about four weeks behind the rest of the players. He hasn’t had a pre-season and it shows.

The Mexican needs to get up to speed and fast.

And as for Aridane? I’m not one for booing players, but he needs to buck his ideas up. Even when he is on form he strolls through matches, so you can only imagine how poor he is when he is off the boil.

Someone needs to have a word. Maybe Jacobo will stick a flea in his ear!

Back to the new shotstopper and he, like the fans, was delighted with the clean-sheet. And this weekend, he faces his old team Real Valladolid. He was a big part of their promotion side a few years ago “It’s special because I was there for many years, and I have many friends there. But that was four years ago. That promotion into La Liga was special and the fans do not forget me.

“But after three-anda-half years in Greece, you forget a little - but not that! The Valladolid match is very important and we want to come back with a win.”

There is a chance of old-boy syndrome this weekend as Valladolid are full of former CDT players.

Winger Omar is fondly remembered here, but he is certainly out with a calf problem, and Alejandro Alfaro is struggling for match-fitness.

Then there is Jeffren.

Stolen from the youth team by Barcelona in 2004, he never quite made his mark in the first team before joining Sporting Lisbon a few years back.

Again, it didn’t quite happen, and he is now trying to rebuild. I’ve a feeling he will still pull on our jersey one day.

To finish the feel of old boys and goalkeepers this week, it was pleasing to see and hear the welcome Razak Brimah got in the Heliodoro.

The Mirandes cat wore a strange Petr Cechstyle headgear, and it turns out he played last weekend with a broken jaw!

It now requires surgery and he is out until Halloween. Frightening!

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53 CW

Sport

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

And finally… some results!

NAUTA Bar in Guaza was the venue for last Friday’s darting action, which saw the culmination of the knockout competitions.

And we saw some cracking darts, especially from the ladies, who are obviously putting in some hard hours on the practice board.

The ladies’ doubles final was a great match

and went down to the last leg - and the last dart! Bar 180’s Karen and Ami went into a 2-0 lead after a flurry of high scores and good finishing.

Their opponents, Julie and Sue from Nauta Bar, then fought back to 2-2 and nicked the fifth leg after Karen and Ami missed a host of darts at the winning double.

The Division 1 singles between Chipeque’s Adam and Gary, from Gaffers A, was a rather

PRemier division ResultS

one-sided affair as Gary struggled to find any sort of form. And Adam put in a solid performance to take the winner’s trophy by three legs to nil.

The same could be said of the Division 2 singles final, with Paul ‘Topgun’ Messent finding it hard to get going.

To be fair, Waterfall’s Elvis Dave, who didn’t give him a chance, also came through without dropping a leg.

The Premier League doubles final was also

an excellent match, with spectators kept right on the edge of their seats.

Bar 180 duo Tom and Wayne flew into an early 2-0 lead in the best-ofseven final without too much effort. And it was a good job Wayne was on form, eh Tom? Opponents, Craig and Grant, of Target Army, then turned the match on its head and pulled it back to 2-2 with some fine darts.

Anyone’s game now, you would say. Well, our

Tom had other ideas and really stepped up the pace with some heavy scoring and accurate finishing to claim the cup by four legs to two.

Competition winners so far: Premier League Doubles: Tom/Wayne (Bar 180) bt Craig/ Grant (Target Army) Trebles: Mitch/London/Harry (Phoenix) bt Richard/Tom/Andy (Bar 180) Division 1 Singles: Adam (Chi-

peque) bt Gary (Gaffers A) Division 2 Singles: Dave (Waterfall) bt Paul (Phoenix) Doubles: Dale/Dennis (Palms) bt Dave/Malky (Palms) Trebles: Kenny/Travis/ Jamie (Palms Sports) bt Paul/Pod/Stu (Phoenix) Ladies Doubles: Julie/Sue (Nauta) bt Karen/Ami (Bar 180) Trebles: Karen/Ami/ Lisa (Bar 180) bt Emily/ Annie/Sarah (Waterfall)

Division 1 ResultS

Division 2 ResultS

Clouseaus 5-3 Picassos EMERALD SHAMROCKS 5-3 EMERALD LOUNGE GAFFERS A 5-3 SUNDOWNERS PAS O NADAS 2-6 OURPLACE PLAYBOYS TRAP DOOR 5-3 CHIPEQUE

Ourplace Playgirls PALMS SPORTS BAR THE BAR THE REBELS WATERFALL WARRIORS

Premier Division Table

Division 1 Table

Table 1 PHOENIX BAR 2 TARGET ARMY 3 BAR 180 A 4 THE PUB 5 LA CAÑA PIRATES 6 TARGET TITANS 7 VIKINGS ENSECAN 8 BAR 180 D 9 BAR 180 B 10 GAFFERS B 11 INKSPOTS

Division 2 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 EMERALD SHAMROCKS 11 9 1 1 63 25 38 63 2 GAFFERS A 11 8 1 2 58 30 28 58 3 OURPLACE PLAYBOYS 10 6 2 2 48 32 16 48 4 CHIPEQUE 11 5 3 3 47 41 6 47 5 EMERALD LOUNGE 12 4 1 7 40 56 -16 40 6 TRAP DOOR 8 6 0 2 37 27 10 37 7 PICASSOS A 10 3 3 4 36 44 -8 36 8 PAS O NADAS 12 1 2 9 36 60 -24 36 9 SUNDOWNERS 11 2 2 7 32 56 -24 32 10 NAUGHTY NAUTAS 9 1 4 4 31 41 -10 31 11 CLOUSEAUS 9 2 1 6 28 44 -16 28

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 CHIPEQUE CHIPPERS 11 8 1 2 63 25 38 63 2 THE PALMS 12 9 1 2 61 35 26 61 3 WATERFALL WARRIORS 11 7 2 2 55 33 22 55 4 MARILYNS 12 6 2 4 54 42 12 54 5 THE REBELS 11 7 1 3 52 36 16 52 6 PHOENIX FLIGHTS 11 4 3 4 44 44 0 44 7 THE BAR 12 5 0 7 44 52 -8 44 8 BARRACUDA HUNTERS 11 6 0 5 42 46 -4 42 9 PALMS SPORTS BAR 11 3 1 7 36 52 -16 36 10 SPEAR CHUCKERS 12 2 1 9 33 63 -30 33 11 OURPLACE PLAYGIRLS 12 0 0 12 20 76 -56 20

Bar 180 B LA CAÑA PIRATES PHOENIX BAR TARGET TITANS THE PUB

8-0 4-4 6-2 5-3 4-4

Inkspots VIKINGS ENSECAN GAFFERS B BAR 180 D TARGET ARMY

P W D L F A +- PTS 12 8 2 2 65 31 34 65 12 7 3 2 64 32 32 64 9 9 0 0 60 12 48 60 11 6 3 2 56 32 24 56 12 6 2 4 54 42 12 54 11 6 1 4 43 45 -2 43 10 3 3 4 41 39 2 41 11 1 4 6 34 54 -20 34 10 2 1 7 30 50 -20 30 11 2 1 8 30 58 -28 30 13 1 0 12 11 93 -82 11

3-5 6-2 0-8 4-4 5-3

Marilyns PHOENIX FLIGHTS CHIPEQUE CHIPPERS THE PALMS SPEAR CHUCKERS

It must be your way, Jose!

AS the weeks pass by, it is becoming obvious that managers in the Oasis Fm Fantasy League should be using Jose Mourinho for inspiration.

The players he has bought in over the summer, and the system he has them playing, makes them look unstoppable. It’s such a shame you can have only three players from any one team!

Having said that, it follows that Chelsea led the way in pro-

viding players for the point-scoring team of

the week after their match against Swan-

sea. But despite that, just two Stamford Bridgers make the 11 this time.

Man Utd finally recorded a win under Van Gaal and have two players in the team.

The rest of the side featured players from Palace, Everton, Stoke, Leicester, Southampton, Arsenal and Spurs.

Stephen Snook’s Kingsmead Krunchers led the league going into last weekend’s games. But Mark Wilson’s Patriots closed the gap and moved to the top.

Team of the Week, with a fabulous total of 90 points, was Sparkys

Sparksters, managed

by Mark Kennedy. He had Diego Costa to thank for scoring a third of his points total.

At Oasis Fm Towers, John Zammit slipped a little but still has a 26-point lead over sec-

ond place Chris Elkington.

Roscoe is starting a charge up the table, and even Adi Benson managed a decent week.

The only way is up now for the Soccer Fm presenter!

Fantasy Football League 1. The patriots

Mark Wilson

72

240

2. Kingsmead Krunchers

Stephen Snook

66

237

3. @Jony_TF

Jonay Diaz

61

229

4. Addickted

Chris Ayliffe

78

229

5. Harri’s thunderstars

Harri Lobban

74

228

6. Midtablemaybes

Tony Morgan

66

224

7. Little T

Tom Edens

50

223

8. Coffee shop karma

Gordon Wilson

79

219

8. MikeHammered

Mike Edens

73

219

10. Boomtown Rabz

Nick Abbott

49

218

CW 54

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

Hooray for Happy Harry THEY say revenge is a dish best served cold.

And there was a plateful of that in Los Abrigos on Tuesday night in the Direct Telecom Pool League.

At the end of last season, the Phoenix Knights team went their separate ways with only Harry remaining as a mainstay in a rebooted “The Phoenix” outfit.

The rest of the lads went to the La Caña A team, who had moved to the Waterfall bar - and it wasn’t the cleanest of splits. So there was some added spice when the two teams clashed this week.

And it may take a while for Harry to lose the smile after his charges roared home to move into second spot after beating the Waterfall Rebels 8-4 with something to spare. The Rebels,who have made a shocking start, face league leaders Gaffers A this week!

Gaffers A are front runners by two points, but they are racking up a big frame difference over their rivals.

On Tuesday, they faced Hammers C and, after the first four games, the score was nicely poised at 2-2, Ash took to the table and put Gaffers into the lead. And from that position they never looked back, winning the remaining seven games, with Kev and Ash both pulling off 7-ball clearances.

At Palms Bar, a toast was made in memory of Geoff Huxtable’s father, who has just passed away. And the absent Geoff would have loved the way his Phoenix Potters team took the match

to Tenerife Hammers A (pictured).

It was a tense game and the Potters gave the champions all the trouble they could handle. They were ahead a few times and at 4-3, they looked set to put another frame in the bank as Paul had a simple yellow to leave a black over the pocket.

He missed and Fritzel levelled the match.

In the final set, Les had a couple of chances to 7-ball Jambo.

But he was made to pay for his misses as the Hammer took the frame and the match momentum. Yet the 8-4 scoreline was extremely harsh.

On the other table Palms A, who have made a decent enough start to the season, hosted Terrace Bar B, who are a difficult team to beat.

The visitors were not in the best of form, though, and were comfortably kept at bay.

Mark and Penguin, in particular, showed good form for Palms.

Inn the Pink A headed down to Atmosphere to take part in one of the matches of the night. The teams couldn’t be separated after the first four frames until the home team clicked into gear and 2-2 became 6-2.

But in this league, it’s never over until it’s over. The Pink boys then put their heads together for a quick team talk and came back to the table in fighting mood, promptly winning the next four frames and earning what looked an unlikely point!

And in a quirk of fate, Treehouse A and Exiles B played out an identical game, 2-2 after four and then Treehouse won the next four for 6-2. But Exiles B, finding similar mental strength, fought back and took

Division 2 results

Division 1 Results Atmosphere 13 Exiles A Gaffers A Palms Bar A Tenerife Hammers A Terrace Bar A The Phoenix Treehouse A Division 1 Table

6-6 6-6 10-2 8-4 8-4 5-7 8-4 6-6

Inn The Pink A Palms Bar B Tenerife Hammers C Terrace Bar B Phoenix Potters The Peacocks Waterfall Rebels Exiles B

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Gaffers A 4 4 0 0 41 7 34 12 2 The Phoenix 4 3 1 0 30 18 12 10 3 Tenerife Hammers A 3 3 0 0 25 11 14 9 4 Phoenix Potters 4 3 0 1 30 18 12 9 5 Treehouse A 4 2 1 1 27 21 6 7 6 Inn The Pink A 4 2 1 1 25 23 2 7 7 Palms Bar A 4 2 1 1 25 23 2 7 8 Exiles A 4 1 2 1 24 24 0 5 9 Palms Bar B 4 1 1 2 24 24 0 4 10 Atmosphere 13 4 1 1 2 22 26 -4 4 11 The Peacocks 4 1 1 2 19 29 -10 4 12 Dreamers A 3 1 0 2 17 19 -2 3 13 Tenerife Hammers C 3 1 0 2 13 23 -10 3 14 Exiles B 4 0 2 2 18 30 -12 2 15 Terrace Bar B 4 0 2 2 16 32 -16 2 16 Waterfall Rebels 3 0 1 2 14 22 -8 1 17 Terrace Bar A 4 0 0 4 14 34 -20 0 the next four. Result: points shared again!

Terrace Bar A were at home to close rivals the Peacocks, but it would seem that somebody in the team has run over a black cat. Or two. They just don’t seem to have any luck (well, apart from Peacock Dave going in off the black).

They started brightly and took a 3-1 lead. but the visitors quickly recovered to 4-4. The final games started and the Terrace boys tripped over their own laces, allowing the Peacocks to take the win!

In the final game of the night, Exiles A

welcomed league newcomers Palms B to Silencio.

Shammy and the boys were difficult to beat at home last season, but the Palms got stuck in and held their ground.

They seem to be finding their top league feet after a worthy promotion and were not intimidated by the “Booms”, coming away with a really good point.

In Division Two, the Sporting Jester A continued their unbeaten run with a home victory against the Toscales Beer Chuckers. It was top of the league against bottom

Bluebell A Inkspots Inn The Pink B Picasso’s A Sporting Jester A Tenerife Pool Tables

8-4 6-6 7-5 4-8 7-5 3-9

Gaffers B James Place Sporting Jester B Dreamers B Toscales Beer Chuckers Hoppys Bar

Division 2 table

Table P 1 Sporting Jester A 4 2 Inkspots 4 3 Toscales Wildcards 3 4 Bluebell A 4 5 Inn The Pink B 4 6 James Place 3 7 Waterfall Jokers 3 8 Picasso’s A 4 9 Hoppys Bar 3 10 Dreamers B 3 11 Next Door 3 12 Gaffers B 3 13 Treehouse B 3 14 Sporting Jester B 4 15 Tenerife Pool Tables 3 16 Toscales Beer Chuckers 3

W D 4 0 3 1 3 0 3 0 2 2 2 1 2 0 2 0 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0

of the league but it again highlighted the strength of teams this season, as it was by no means a walkover for the Jesters.

The Beer Chuckers fought hard and came close to gaining their first points of the season. But the Jesters just had enough to get over the line.

Newcomers Inkspots have also started well and, like the Jesters, were unbeaten going into Tuesday’s game.

This was a telling one for them as they took on James Place. who are one of the division’s strong sides.

It was a great game for the spectators and, in the end, the teams were happy to settle for a draw.

Bluebell A, one of my tips for the league this season, are starting to build up a head of steam, moving nicely into fourth spot with a solid victory over Gaffers B. Inn the Pink B, also a strong side last season, are quietly getting on with business this time around. They took on Sporting Jester B and

L F 0 30 0 33 0 24 1 25 0 29 0 21 1 23 2 23 2 18 2 17 2 16 2 15 2 14 4 17 3 10 3 9

A +- PTS 18 12 12 15 18 10 12 12 9 23 2 9 19 10 8 15 6 7 13 10 6 25 -2 6 18 0 3 19 -2 3 20 -4 3 21 -6 1 22 -8 1 31 -14 0 26 -16 0 27 -18 0

promptly wiped the smile off their faces.

The match was close, but the home side are hardened campaigners and this showed as they claimed a win and the three points.

Hoppys Bar will have been happy with their night as they secured their first points of the season, away against Tenerife Pool Tables.

The home side never really got out of the blocks, though, managing to take just three frames on the night. It looks like being a long season for Fat Nick and his team.

Another team taking their first points were Dreamers B, who travelled to Picasso’s A. The old masters (get it? Picasso?) have had a steady start to the season and would have been expecting to take points.

But the visitors had other ideas and put in an excellent performance to confound their opponents with a fairly comfortable win, thanks in part to Picasso’s main man, Steve, having a rare off-night.

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Sport

19th September 2014 - 25th September 2014

55 CW

Premier League preview

Who can halt Chelsea rush?

By Adi Benson THE Chelsea steamroller carries on, and you have to wonder if anybody can stop them. The way Premier League results have gone so far, they are going to take some stopping.

Aston Villa, Swansea and Southampton occupy the three places below them, but we know they will not maintain their current positions.

Yet it is hard to see where the charge will come from as the usual challengers have all looked poor!

I have finally managed a win in the Beat Benson challenge. So, with my tail up this week, I’m taking on Oasis Fm DJ Dave Scott.

QPR v Stoke Given the sum of money they spent strengthening their defence, QPR have made a pretty poor start to the season. Unless their results start improving, they will spend a long season at the wrong end of the table. These games are so important for QPR because they really need to take the points.

Stoke are just a point better off and will be disappointed after losing to Leicester last time out. They invested in players during the summer to give them a more creative line-up, but we are yet to see this work. They are still tough to break down, but they need goals.

Prediction: Away win Beat Benson: Home win Aston Villa v Arsenal The club was up for sale, old players were added to the squad and the doom merchants had it in for Villa. Yet four games in and they sit second after taking three points from Anfield last week.

Defensively they are strong, and they make it difficult for teams to break them down. They are comfortable on the counter-attack and are

happy to win 1-0. Arsenal will feel unlucky they didn’t get all the points against Man City after last week’s a good performance.

They looked quick and dangerous on the attack, but that policy could play into Villa’s hands. They need to be at their creative best here.

Prediction: Away win Beat Benson: Home win Swansea v Southampton The Swans, who have been outstanding this season, gave Chelsea a really good game last weekend, despite the 2-4 reversal. Garry Monk (pictured) couldn’t have asked for a better start from his players, and he will be hoping they can dust themselves down and keep the momentum going.

But this will be a tricky game because the Saints have started just as well. Ronald Koeman has taken Premiership management in his stride and, despite losing several key players in the transfer window, he has spent money wisely and has put together a good squad. They play attractive football - and a top-half finish beckons.

Prediction: Draw Beat Benson: Draw Newcastle v Hull Pressure is mounting on Newcastle boss Alan Pardew, who had money to spend this summer! Yet they sit bottom of the league with

just two points from a possible 12, Add to that a poor performance last weekend and the fans want rid. This is a big game - lose this and I believe he could quite easily be the next managerial casualty. Hull have made a steady start and are 10th in the league which must make them happy.

They know they will never challenge for the title but a top-10 finish

and a cup run will be a good season for them.

So far, so good!

Prediction: Away win Beat Benson: Home win Burnley v Sunderland Burnley haven’t made the greatest of starts to life in the Premier League, but they will be heartened that they have a couple of points on the board.

You suspect it is going to be a long season for them, and these are the games that offer them a chance to add to their tally. They need a home win, and I can see it coming here.

Gus Poyet just managed to keep the Black Cats up last season and must be disappointed with their start. Just one win in four games is not good enough and he needs to get the confidence flowing through the team, bearing in mind that this is a game they are expected to win.

Prediction: Draw Beat Benson: Home win West Ham v Liverpool Given the expectation of their fans, is a draw at Hull really good enough? West Ham chairman David Gold seemed to think so,

and he was happy with the flair they played with. And I have to say it was actually a good game. Enner Valencia (pictured) was their big summer buy and was a risk, but what a goal he scored. He is enough to excite the fans.

So can Liverpool cope without Suarez?

On the evidence so far, especially Saturday’s 1-0 home defeat by Aston Villa, it would appear not.

Villa had a game plan and stuck to it, and Liverpool looked devoid of ideas in attack. Not starting Sterling was a risk that backfired, while Balotelli reverted to type and looked bored.

In fairness, he scored a Champions League cracker on Tuesday night and looked the real deal.

Prediction: Away Win Beat Benson: Home Win Leicester v Man Utd Leicester are another team who will be happy with the start they have made, especially given the sides they have faced so far.

Three points in their last game and another goal from Ulloa will have filled them with confidence. They have looked good at home, so this will be a test against a resurgent United. But if they stay strong, they could get something from this game.

At last, three points came the way of Van Gaal. Yes, they were against a poor QPR side, but you can only beat the team in front of you, which they did with ease. Tougher tests are to come and this may be one, especially as they still look poor defensively.

Prediction: Away win Beat Benson: Draw Spurs v West Brom How Spurs didn’t win last weekend is anybody’s guess, but that’s the way some games go, and at least they managed a couple of goals. They were back in Europa League action this week, which could leave their players a little tired, especially as they will be stretched in the goal-scoring positions.

West Brom placed

faith in Alan Irving as their new manager. But for me, he just doesn’t have the Premier League experience and the start they have made has highlighted this. Sat in the bottom three, they are in danger of being set adrift early in the season,a nd another loss will be disastrous.

Prediction: Home win Beat Benson: Home win Man City v Chelsea A home defeat by Stoke, an away draw against Arsenal - and now they have to face bang-in-form Chelsea.

Yes, things are a little shaky at City at the minute.

They need to start clicking into gear, and this gives them an excellent opportunity. If they could put a stop to Chelsea’s great start, it would get their season going.

So Diego Costa has a hamstring injury? With seven goals from four games, I can’t wait to see him when he is fully fit. A lot hinged on the start he made in the Premier League but he has literally hit the ground running.

With Fabregas feeding him, Chelsea look strong, but will they attack City or park the bus and play on the counter-attack?

Prediction: Away win Beat Benson: Away win Everton v Crystal Palace Everton come into this game after a tough Europa League fixture against Wolfsburg and, given their squad size, there may be some tired legs on display.

They have made a halfdecent start to the season and will expect to continue that because they are solid at the back (Chelsea game aside) and can score goals, Lukaku will relish playing against Palace’s defence.

For me, Neil Warnock is no longer a Premier League manager and Palace have made a mistake taking him on again. A draw at home against Burnley is not what the fans want, and they are in for a long, disappointing campaign.

Prediction: Home win Beat Benson: Home win

CW 56

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