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Recognise anyone? Issue 894 20th March - 26th March 2015
Inside this week...
CRIMESTOPPERS are on the prowl again as the hunt intensifies for more of Britain’s most wanted fugitives, who are believed to be hiding in Spain. Continued on page 3.
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Crimestoppers will dig out the rogues in Spain Continued from front. It has been an appealing hideaway for British criminals evading capture for years - as has Tenerife, especially in recent months. But this changed in 2004 with European Arrest Warrants, making it easier to bring British criminals back to face justice. Increasingly, crime in other countries has an impact on the UK, and although Crimestoppers have no formal mandate to act outside Britain, officials work on projects that can help reduce crime in the UK via the National Crime Agency (NCA) and Operation Captura, a joint Spanish-UK campaign.. Since the 2006 launch of Captura, 65 out of 76 named suspects have been caught, and this is the ninth appeal of its kind. Police are appealing to thousands of expats and holiday-makers to help track them down and get them extradited to the UK. The list includes several drugtraffickers, who are thought to be carrying on their life of crime on the Costas. One of the latest to be found in Tenerife was 36-year-old “drugs lord” Stephen Blundell, from Merseyside, who fled the UK before being sentenced for a £1m heroin plot. Shane Walford, a convicted killer, is among Britain’s latest top-10 most-wanted fugitives believed to be on the run in Spain, The National Crime Agency has released the names, whose crimes range from rape to child abuse and drug-trafficking. The list, published in Madrid as part of Operation Captura, includes ex-soldier Walford, who was jailed in 2010 for the manslaughter of an offduty fireman while on leave from the Army. The former Coventry boxer who killed fatherof-two Paul Gibbons with a single punch inside a city bar there, was jailed for 4½ years. In court, Mr Gibbons
was described as “the best father to his children, and someone who was forever helping friends, work colleagues and even strangers”. Walford served half his sentence behind bars but, once released, he breached the terms of his licence and went on the run. He was recalled to prison in August 2013 after breaking the terms of his licence. He has numerous distinctive tattoos, including a black panther on his left arm and boxing gloves on his abdomen. Also on the list is 32-year-old Mohammed Jahangir Alam, sentenced in March 2010 to 14 years in his absence for rape and sexual assault. The Bangladeshi arrived in the UK on a temporary visa in October 2007 and moved to Cheltenham the following year, where he sexually abused his victim, said the NCA. His last known address was in the Bow area of east London. A third fugitive, Carlo Dawson, from Croydon, Surrey, is wanted on suspicion of indecently assaulting a 12-year-old girl and making indecent photographs of a child. The 52-year-old has a two-inch scar on his right palm. When his computer was seized in 2013, officers found indecent photographs of children. David McDermott is suspected of conspiracy to supply cocaine and conspiracy to blackmail. The 41-year-old, who grew up in Ormskirk but lived in Liverpool, is believed to be a member of an organised crime gang involved in a conspiracy to supply 400 kilos of cocaine, said the NCA. Sixteen holdalls containing cocaine with a street value of £71m were found hidden in a container of frozen Argentine beef at Tilbury Docks, Essex, in May 2013. After the cocaine was seized, NCA officers watched and listened as McDermott met with gang members at Ain-
tree Retail Park. He was allegedly involved in the planning of a “violent mission” to recover the drugs, not knowing it had been seized by law enforcement. An NCA spokesman said the use of “physical and sexual violence” against anyone who had information was discussed. Five members of the gang have already been jailed for a total of 42 years. Hank Cole, the NCA’s head of international operations, said: “Spain is not a safe haven for British fugitives. The NCA and its partners will continue to pursue these individuals relentlessly and return them to the UK to face justice.” He added: “The exceptional level of collaboration and intelligencesharing with the Spanish authorities has been vital to these arrests. “However, we still need the support of the public. Be our eyes and ears and tell us if you have any information on the whereabouts of our targets.” Police are also hunting the following: *Paul Monk, 54, from Romford, Essex: allegedly involved in the handover of 1kg of cocaine in Cockfosters, London. Also linked to seizure of 23kg kilos of herbal cannabis and 1kg of cannabis resin in October 2013 in Colchester. *Anthony Dennis, 47, of Ongar, Essex: accused
of conspiring to import three tonnes of cocaine from South America into The Netherlands. Believed to be the leader of an organised crime group involved in high-level international drug-trafficking. Allegedly conspired with others to import three tonnes of cocaine from South America into The Netherlands using contacts in South America and Europe. Also, allegedly, assisted in or induced the importation of 67.5kg of cocaine into Belgium and Germany. *Scott Hughes, 34, from Halewood, Merseyside: thought to be a key member of Liverpool-based organised crime group involved in supplying class A drugs. Following execution of warrant at his home address in May 2011, officers recovered £212,705, a cash-counting machine and a watches valued at £8,000. Through a wider investigation, 16 other individuals were convicted of conspiracy to supply class A drugs and money laundering. A firearm was recovered along with 27kg of diamorphine, 14.6kg of cocaine, 2kg of cannabis, 2kg of ampheta-
mine, 622kg of adulterants, £970,000 cash, and watches valued at £191,000. *Michael Roden, 25 (nicknamed Dodge), from Redditch, Worcs: Wanted for his role in a criminal gang involved in importing 70kg of cannabis into the UK from Spain. Previously convicted in October 2010 of large-scale production of cannabis and jailed for three years. Following early release in 2011, Roden failed to meet conditions set by Probation Service and is wanted for recall to prison for breaking terms of licence.. *Paul Buchanan, 29, New Yorker: being hunted for attempted rape of a woman in Redditch. Believed to have followed her near his flat locally, pulled her down a driveway, pushed her over a car, and attempted to rape her. The victim screamed, and when residents of a nearby house came to her aid, Buchanan fled. *Jayson McDonald, 37, of Acton, west London: suspected of conspiring to import and supply heroin and cocaine as part of Europe-wide organised crime network.
The list was published this week as part of Operation Captura, which was first launched in 2006. Since then 65 out of 76 named suspects have been caught. Lord Ashcroft, the Crimestoppers founder said: “Operation Captura has proved a huge success and the majority of individuals on our most-wanted list have been captured. “However, there are still a number of criminals evading arrest. We must ensure these individuals are brought to justice. We are confident we can successfully hunt them down with support from the Spanish authorities, as well as the Spanish and UK public.” Inspector Olga Lizana, head of Spain’s fugitive unit, said the country was still a favourite bolt-hole for British criminals. She added: “It’s a really easy life. They come here because there is a big British community with its own schools, doctors, supermarkets and everything else. “You don’t even need to know the language, so it’s a good place for them to hide. But we are catching more and more, so it is not a safe place for them to be.” Broadcaster Giles Brown, who has lived in Marbella for more than 30 years, said expats resented the area’s reputation as the “Costa del Crime” and urged fellow Brits to help police. He said: “We are not just a bunch of disinterested sun-worshippers knocking back gin-and-tonics. People care about their communities here and don’t want criminals living among them.”
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The cost of vandalism
VANDALISM is ripping the heart out of the Santa Cruz coffers, despite the Island’s economic recovery of sorts.
Money remains tight, especially for local governments and councils, but Santa Cruz locals in particular, are making matters worse. Last year, the capital’s Council forked out nearly one million euros as a direct result of vandalism. This included spending over 500,000 euros to replace and repair such items as street signs and dustbins in communal areas. And, of course, the cost of cleaning up graffiti, flyposters and arson. In total, the Town Hall spent 247,000 euros to replenish containers burned out last year - a 50% increase on the re-
markable 153 containers destroyed in 2013. And, sad to say, the problem is getting worse and worse. In 2007, the clean-up bill for graffiti was 100,000 euros. The same applies to the replace-
ment of containers whose cost has ballooned from 90,000 euros in 2008 to more than 240,000 euros last year. The alarming increase in Santa Cruz vandalism in recent years has
persuaded the Council to create an action group called Proteu. It is understood that local police will crack down on this type of anti-social behaviour. Carmen Delia Gonzalez, police liaison with
the new action group, said: “This sort of crime has tripled in just a year. It is unacceptable.” Santa Cruz Mayor Jose Manuel Bermudez agreed, saying: “The burning of containers, at a cost of 250,000 eu-
ros, must stop. The fires, of course, can spread to cars and homes.” The Mayor declined to provide specific data on what the plan is to stop such behaviour, but what is clear is the fact that enough is enough! There will surely be an increase in the number of police on the streets in areas of high activity, and there will be more security cameras. The García Sanabria park has been a target, and last week alone three sculptures were finally unveiled after needing serious renovation work. There will almost certainly be more police patrols in this area, and the Mayor is asking for the public’s help “I call on residents to co-operate with the security of Santa Cruz,” he urged. “Call 091 or 092 to report everything that has to do with the lack of respect for the city.”
Underwater volcano study THE Spanish Institute of Oceanography (IEO) this week confirmed a major, three-year survey of a submarine volcano between Tenerife and Gran Canaria. Seismic data recorded over
the last couple of years has led to the action as activity in the region increases. The submarine volcano is located in an area of deep water, almost 3,000ft in size. The study is part of an extension by the IEO into activity in the archipelago, and its interest has intensified since the underwater volcanic eruptions near El Hierro, which have been on going since 2011. This new project is being
carried out in association with the University of Las Palmas, the University of La Laguna and the Tenerife Nature Museum. In a statement, the Spanish Institute of Oceanography explains that the volcano, named “Enmedio”, was first detected in the Nineties. It has a high cone and rises impressively on the seabed between Gran Canaria and Tenerife.
The scientific ship “Ángeles Alvariño” will be placed above it throughout May to see whether there is any current activity in the form of gas emission or secondary heat. It will reside in the area closest to the recent earthquakes which have occurred in that area. The IEO will perform regular monitoring over the next three years, and it will also launch an extended campaign by the underwater
volcano of La Restinga, which was formed in the eruption of El Hierro between 2011 and 2012. In these campaigns, the chemical, biological and geological environment will be studied. This is the first project of its type in Spanish waters and will go some way to providing some answers to the growing concern of an underwater volcano sitting between the two big-
gest Canary Islands. The number of earthquakes has increased steadily over the last four years, and all in a close proximity.
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Justice system speeds up IT seems that the Spanish legal system may finally be moving in the right direction following changes to the Criminal Procedure Act.
The system here is notoriously slow, one of the worst in respect of time, in the world. But agreed changes, revealed this week, should help speed things up. The Government has also revealed reforms to the Employment and Social Security Inspectorate, which will set up the fight against fraud. New health and safety at work measures have also been signed off. The Criminal Procedure Act changes aim to speed up trials, particularly those relating to corruption. Rafael Catala, Minister for Justice, revealed that the new legislation has three aims: speeding-up criminal justice, strengthening procedural guarantees and legal certainty, along
with democratic regeneration and the fight against corruption. The minister said the main new feature is the establishment, for the first time, of maximum deadlines for the investigatory phase of criminal offences. “Simple cases will have a maximum investigatory phase of six months and complex cases of 18 months. These deadlines may be extended when the public prosecutor or judge sees fit, and when the case so justifies and this is substantiated,” said Catala. “Each criminal offence will lead to a trial, and each trial will have a ruling.” With the aim of speeding up justice, the minister pointed out that anonymous police reports will not be passed on to the courts but retained by the judicial police. “Many issues that do not lead to a trial will thus be kept out of the courts,” added Catala. Certain other aspects are also improved, such as removing criminal investigations from fast-
track cases, which “constitute 54% of the cases ruled on each year”. Catala explained that the concept of “imputado” (suspect) is currently associated with guilt, and hence the reform intends to replace this expression with the term “investigado” (person under investigation). “In the investigatory stage, those people who take part in the process will be known as ‘persons under investigation’, while identifying whether there is any form of participation of criminal liability.” he
Canary flights still on high THE Canary Islands welcomed nearly 700,000 airline passengers last month, which was almost an 11% increase against February last year. Some 692,201 people arrived last month, which totalled 20.5% of all registered travellers throughout Spain, according to Ministry of Tourism data. Only Catalonia had better results than the Islands with 995,331 people arriving in that region - up 12.6% on the same month in 2014. This was followed by the Canaries and then Madrid, which catered for 16.4% more visitors at 551,425. It is an impressive set of figures and nationally, airlines carried 3.3m passengers in February, representing a 14.4% increase over the same period last year. In the first two months of the year, 7.5 million
international passengers arrived in Spain by plane - 7% more than a year earlier. This is partly down to the strength of the pound against the Euro, and the perceived value-for-money factor in the country right now. A lot of it is also down to low-cost airlines. They accounted for 44.9% of air traffic and 77% of the total flow of travellers coming from the European Union – an increase of 8.4% against the same period in 2014. Of these lowcost airlines, Ryanair, easyJet and Vueling accounted for 67% of passenger volume generated, and 30% of total international airflow received in Spain. Ryanair, in particular, continues to post large year-on-year gains. The UK (31.6%) and Italy (13.9%) were the main visitors so far this year, with increases of
9.2% and 24.8%, respectively, compared with data for the first two months of 2014. Specifically, the UK registered more than one million passengers, with Italy totalling 468,251. The Germany market grew by 20% to 362,089 passengers (10%) of the total market, followed by France with 8.7% of total passengers at low cost (292,108) and a 19.3% increase. But there was one blot: the Norwegian market fell in the first two months of the year to -8.8% (103,592) while Denmark decreased 2.7% to 71,524 visitors. The Barcelona-El Prat airport accounted for 27.9% of all low-cost travellers with growth of 14.8% and a total of 939,868 passengers, while Tenerife South grew 9%, taking its passenger arrivals up to 302,255.
said. “In the event that an oral proceeding is scheduled, the status of ‘person under investigation’ will be modified to ‘accused’. In other words, a party to the trial - and in the event that a sentence is handed down, to ‘offender’” he added. In addition, the Minister for Justice said that, as happens now, the general rule is that in order to agree on a measure to intervene or record communications of any type, a court order is necessary. “Temporary investiga-
tions without a court order can only take place when dealing with cases of terrorism offences,” he stressed. Meanwhile, the Draft Bill on the Organisation of the Employment and Social Security Inspection System has been tweaked. The future legislation is similar to that announced by Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy in his State of the Nation speech. Deputy PM Soraya Sáenz de Santamaría said it was “the agreement on proposals to enhance growth and job creation”. She said it was a structural reform, seeking to “modernise the labour market, guarantee the present and future sustainability of the Social Security system and, moreover, generate new dynamics in the fight against workplace accidents and guarantee job security”. The future legislation creates the Employment Inspectorate as an independent body to provide better collaboration between
the State and the autonomous regions. “It will enable employment inspections to be strengthened without increasing expenditure.” She added that this seeks to ensure a new model “much better coordinated and more efficient in order to serve workers and companies”. In essence it means that mirror departments at local and national level will finally communicate with each other. Inspections will be more frequent and delve much deeper. The Deputy PM also approved the creation of an Anti-fraud Ombudsman to strengthen collaboration between the different public administration services, and the creation of a new body of public servants: the Sub-inspectorate for Health and Safety at Work. This body will review current laws and working practices to see what improvements can be made in the general workplace.
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Fraud gang to face the music A HUGE timeshare fraud, involving thousands of British victims conned out of millions of pounds, has been smashed by Spanish police on the Mainland.
Fifty-six Brits have been arrested, including three thought to be running the scam, and police uncovered 500 people - mostly pensioners - who have been swindled. Police fear that thousands more will now be identified following a series of Costa del Sol raids against the gang, who had active for more than five years.
Detectives detailed the lengths the fraudsters went to dupe victims into handing over cash at a press conference in Malaga on Wednesday. The three-tier scam involved calls from fake lawyers and court officials, who persuaded their victims to hand over as much as £35,000 each after being conned into selling their timeshares. The chief ringleader - allegedly a Brit living in the Mijas resort - is thought to have spent his ill-gotten gains on three homes, a boat and two luxury cars. Nearly 80 bank accounts linked to the gang have been frozen and six vehicles seized, along with the boat and proper-
ties valued at nearly £600,000. Inspector Mercedes Perez Quesada, leading the investigation, said: “The fraud was threefold. Telesales operators contacted potential victims and offered them attractive prices to sell their timeshare properties. “They took advantage of their ignorance of Spanish law, once they’d been tempted, to instruct them to pay things like administrative or public notary fees. Any excuse to get money out of them was valid. “Once victims had been conned and knew they were never going to get their money back, a second group of people would call claiming to be lawyers saying they would launch a group action on behalf of victims, again asking for money up front.” The Inspector added: “The third tier involved people posing as court officials, ringing victims and saying cases had been resolved in their favour, but they had to pay fees so they could obtain their cash set-
tlements. “The scam sounds very crude, but we estimate the fraudsters were making between £35 and £35,000 from victims, and the fraud was netting between £3.5 million and £4.5 million a year. “The telesales operators were at the bottom rung of the fraud, but they knew exactly what was going on. “The next level up were front men, paid to open bank accounts to make it more difficult to find out where the money had gone. “They would receive commissions on the transfers of up to £360, and money collectors working for the three alleged ringleaders would collect up to £2,150 from each front man on a daily basis and pass it on to their paymasters. “The leaders were the brains behind the operation - and the final recipients of the money. The operation we have now smashed was started by them in 2009.” The alleged ringleaders, who have not been named, are suspected of laundering the
multi-million-pound proceeds of their fraud through bars and restaurants on the Costa del Sol. And much of the money was banked in offshore accounts. Two of the three alleged leaders were arrested, along with 36 other suspects, in February during the first phase of the operation. The man police say is the ringleader was detained in a second phase after returning to Spain from the UK. A judge at a court in the Costa del Sol resort of Fuengirola is now coordinating an ongoing criminal investigation. He is probing 11 companies believed to have been set up to facilitate the fraud. Two men, including the alleged ringleader, have been remanded in jail after a closed-court hearing, while the rest of the gang have been given bail. None of the suspects has been formally charged, as is customary under Spanish law, but each one is being probed on suspicion of money-laundering, fraud and membership
of a criminal gang. Inspector Perez said: “So far, we know that this organisation defrauded 500 British victims out of money, but we expect there are thousands of victims.” Police also admitted that the alleged ringleader had been arrested before for similar offences. They were not able to say whether he had been convicted in court. Malaga police chief Pedro Garijo Torres said: “We don’t want to comment on things that escape our control. “The important thing for us was the police operation, which is of huge significance in an area like Malaga, whose economy relies so heavily on tourism and foreign visitors.” He added: “All the different rungs of the fraud, from telesales workers to front men, have been arrested.” Jorge Hernandez Mollar, Government spokesman for the area, described the police operation, involving financial crime specialists from Madrid and Malaga, as “brilliant”.
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Phone Free Fun FOR me, St Patrick’s Day is one of the highlights of the year. I’ve been in Tenerife long enough to remember when it was celebrated by just a handful of bars.
I remember the work that FAILTE did back in the day to help raise the profile of 17th March, and I love the way our community has embraced the spirit over the decades. I’m still not fully convinced our Canarian cousins get what’s going on! They must tell some tales in the tapas bars of the “Crazy Irish” and the sights they see. This year’s celebrations, to these eyes, seemed to be the biggest yet, and it all went off without a hitch. With drinking comes responsibility. I wonder if that was the case in Ireland or the UK. On Oasis Fm, we were live at Murphys Bar, where the evergreen Billy McCracken continues to amaze. The guy is a legend and someone you must catch if you are on hol-
iday. We then moved to Leonardos and were dazzled by the not-quite-so-littleany-more Little Jiggers. The pride on their parents’ faces was there for all to see. After a cheeky half at a couple of other venues, we concluded our coverage at the Devon Arms. It’s honestly the best kept non-secret in Los Cristianos, and I must thank Annette and Brendan for their hospitality. There is something unique about the Devon Arms, and I was trying to work it out. Then suddenly it hit me. The cliental is, well, a little more senior, than most venues. And not one of them was taking a selfie, texting a mate or surfing Facebook to see what sort of a craic everyone else was having, rather than actually having the night where they were! They were singing along, joking with their table and enjoying the occasion. The younger generation should try it some time. It’s called socialising. Try it. You may enjoy it!
Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802
Dear Editor It was about 12.30pm, with not many people waiting for the bus, which arrived at the main stop in El Medano 25 minutes later. By that time, there were about 20 of us forming a scrum and pushing to board. I had our pre-paid pass and, as my wife and daughter got on, I was intercepted by a man, waving and shouting at the driver. His accomplice had moved tight behind me as I went forward, and he must somehow have opened the zipped pocket in my trousers and removed my wallet. It was done without me feeling a thing, and it was only after the bus set off and had left the built-up area that I felt the outside of my pocket and realised it was empty. In hindsight, I remembered how he was gently encouraging me to move forward into his mate to limit my space, so any touching would appear accidental. I have gone through every part of our time in Medano and I know the wallet was there at 12.40pm. The three of us discussed the matter at the Police Station when I reported it later that afternoon, having first contacted the bank/building society to get my cards blocked before the 2.30 pm closing time. I accept that the responsibility is, to a degree, partially mine. But we came to enjoy our winter holiday and not to be mugged for our money, bank cards and driving licence, etc. There were also photos, store cards and personal items of no use to anyone else. My feelings at the moment regarding these people are unprintable. They had me targeted and, I suspect, were prepared to rob me no matter how it had to be done. The time spent acquiring a Crime Reference number, and the lack of interest shown as to how the thieves operated when I tried to explain, was not only frustrating but futile as well. These parasites will not have bank accounts, but they must live somewhere, stockpiling their loot. I understand there are gangs in the South who monitor busy bus stops and get to work on them, using the same routine. I believe it is time they were rounded up by the local police, tagged, made to report daily for community work, relieved of their ill-gotten gains and, finally, deported to where they originated. Wake up Tenerife! If not, these rogues will eventually get the Island a bad name and, as sure as God made little green apples, tourism will suffer. Name & address supplied
Dear Editor Arriving in Los Cristianos last week looking forward to a bit of sunshine, I was sorry to see and hear that the wild-dog situation has reared its head again. I am staying at Royal Palm in a lovely apartment looking over the hill towards the sea. On the first couple of days I could hear the dogs barking on the hill, but never saw them. Then, last Thursday, my wife and I were coming home just after midnight when, to our astonishment, at the entrance to the complex there were at least nine dogs of various sizes, barking and snarling at passers-by. It was quite frightening for everyone, and it also happened on Friday night. I was told by different people that they were running through Royal Palm from top to bottom. Surely, the authorities of the area should be doing something to prevent this happening. The chances are that some poor man, woman or child is going to get caught and injured with the pack, (I hope that never happens) Can you please pass on my concerns to people in that area to be on their guard and give the dogs a wide berth if they come across them on the prowl. John Brown, Nottingham
Sabadell hunts down TSB BANCO Sabadell is bidding to take over the TSB Banking group - Britain’s sixthbiggest lender.
The Spanish bank, which also owns Sol Bank, has presented a “preliminary” proposal of 4.80 euros a share, totalling 2.4 billion euros, as part of its takeover bid. The TSB board has expressed its willingness to back the Spanish bank’s offer at that price “if we reach an agreement on the rest of the conditions”. Lloyds, which controls 50% of TSB, released part of its share package in the bank on to the stock market last June at 260 pence per share, which was
31% below Sabadell’s offer. Spain’s market watchdog, the CNMV, suspended trading in Sabadell for an hour after the share price fell 11% on the news. TSB, meanwhile, has shot up more than 25% on the London Stock Exchange, the bank’s biggest rise since its debut there last June. The proposed offer would value TSB at £1.7bn (2.4bn euros), which would be higher than the initial 80p-ashare. “The board of TSB believes that Sabadell could support and accelerate TSB’s retail growth strategy, and accelerate the expansion of TSB’s presence in the SME sector,” said the UK lender in a statement.
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Spanish legend is uncovered THE tomb of Miguel de Cervantes, Spain’s cherished literary giant, has been discovered, nearly 400 years after his death.
Forensic scientists are convinced they have found the bones of Cervantes, his wife and others recorded as buried with him in Madrid’s Convent of the Barefoot Trinitarians. But it will take some time to authenticate the discovery because separating and identifying his badly-damaged bones from the other fragments will be difficult, say researchers. The Don Quixote author was buried in 1616 and the church was later rebuilt. His remains were moved into the new building in the late 17th Century. He was known as Spain’s “Prince of Letters”, and his remains were lost for centuries. Pedro Corral, head of art, sport and tourism at Madrid city council, said: “His end was that of a poor man - a war veteran with his battle wounds.” The 30-strong team of researchers used infrared cameras, 3D scanners and ground-penetrating radar to pinpoint the burial site, in a forgotten crypt beneath the building. In January, archaeologists found a coffin lid with the initials MC
within the first of 33 niches found behind a wall. The niche contained a number of adult bones matching the group of people with whom Cervantes had been buried before their tombs were disturbed and moved into the crypt. “The remains are in a bad state of conservation and do not allow us to do an individual identification of Miguel de Cervantes,” said forensic scientist Almudena Garcia Rubio. “But we are sure that what the historical sources say is the burial of Miguel de Cervantes and the other people buried with him is what we have found.” Further analysis may allow the team to separate the bones of Cervantes from those of the others - if they can use DNA analysis to work out which bones do not belong to the author. Investigator Luis Avial told a news conference that Cervantes would be reburied “with full honours” in the same convent after a new tomb had been built, according to his wishes. “Cervantes asked to be buried there and there he should stay,” said Luis Avial, georadar expert on the search team. The convent’s religious order helped pay for his ransom after he was captured by pirates and held prisoner for five years in Algiers. The crypt will be
opened to the public next year for the first time in centuries to coincide with the 400th anniversary of Cervantes’ death. Mr Corral told the BBC that the project
had not just been about finding the bones of the author, but of honouring his memory and encouraging people to learn more about him. “Many people may be rediscovering Cer-
vantes because of the search,” he added. Cervantes, born near Madrid in 1547, has been dubbed the father of the modern novel for The Ingenious Gentleman Don Quixote of La
Mancha, published in two parts in 1605 and 1615. The book is thought to be one of the most widely-read and most translated books in the world.
Ex-King Juan’s court success A SECOND pa- thrown out by ternity suit Spain’s Supreme brought against Court. former King Juan The decision, backed seven judges to three, Carlos has been accepted the monarch’s argument that the claim had no basis. Juan Carlos, 77, lodged an appeal after the court in January agreed to consider a claim by a Belgian woman, Ingrid Sariau, that her mother had a
relationship with Juan Carlos lasting into 1966, when she was born. Juan Carlos married former Queen Sofia in 1962 and became king in 1975, two days after the death of long-time dictator General Francisco Franco. He was immune from lawsuits while king, but lost the privilege on abdicating last June in favour of his son, Felipe. For decades, Juan
Carlos was held in high esteem for steering Spain from military dictatorship to democracy. But his reputation slumped after he took a secret elephanthunting trip to Botswana in 2012 while honorary president of the World Wide Fund for Nature. He later apologised for the trip, but it was too late for him to save face.
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Police chief admits...‘I froze’ during Hillsborough Disaster AFTER 26 years of living with the shame, the police match commander in charge of Liverpool’s 1989 FA Cup semi-final with Nottingham Forest has come clean.
David Duckenfield admitted at the longawaited, new inquest into the tragedy on 15th April 1989 that his failure to close a tunnel directly caused the deaths of 96 fans at the Hillsborough Disaster. He also admitted that he “froze” on the day, and Paul Greaney QC, representing the Police Federation, suggested that a child of “average intelligence” could have realised the consequences of opening a gate to relieve congestion. Up to 2,000 fans entered Hillsborough stadium’s Gate C, with many heading straight for a tunnel in front of them - a tunnel Mr Duckenfield had not ordered to be closed. They then continued to the already-full central pens on the terrace, which led to the fatal crushing. The inquest, at Birchwood Park, Warrington, is being heard by Court of Appeal Judge Lord Justice Goldring, deemed an assistant coroner for the purpose. The original “accidental death” verdict was quashed in December 2012 following years of campaigning by families, survivors and support-
ers, and the publication of the Hillsborough Independent Panel’s report. Barrister Mr Greaney reminded Mr Duckenfield of his earlier evidence to Christina Lambert QC, counsel for the inquest, about his state of mind after the opening of Gate C when he told her: “It was a momentous decision, and your decision is such that you do not think of the next step. My mind for a moment went blank.” Asked again if he “froze”, Mr Duckenfield said: “It appears to be a distinct possibility.” Mr Greaney: “You know what was in your mind and I will ask just one last time. Will you accept that in fact you froze?” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes sir.” Mr Greaney: “Do you agree with the following, that people died in a crush in the central pens?” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes sir.” Mr Greaney: “That if they had not been permitted to flow down the tunnel into those central pens, that would not have occurred?” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes sir.” Mr Greaney: “That closing the tunnel would have prevented that and, therefore, would have prevented the tragedy.” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes sir.” Mr Greaney: “That you failed to recognise that there was a need to close that tunnel.” Mr Duckenfield: “I did fail to recognise that sir.” Mr Greaney: “And, therefore, failed to take
steps to achieve that.” Mr Duckenfield: “I did sir.” Mr Greaney: “That failure was the direct cause of the deaths of 96 persons in the Hillsborough tragedy.” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes sir.” Earlier, Mr Duckenfield claimed he was unaware of the geography of Sheffield Wednesday’s ground because it was his first match in charge, and denied that he “bottled it”. Mr Greaney asked the retired police chief: “Do you agree that, never mind a competent match commander, it might only take a child of average intelligence to realise what the consequences of your actions might be?” Mr Duckenfield replied: ‘I did not think of it on the day, sir, because of the pressure I was under.’ Mr Greaney asked: “Is the explanation of your failures, Mr Duckenfield, not that you were ignorant of the geography, for example, but rather that you knew the geography, you knew what the consequences might be of people entering the crowd, but you simply froze?” The witness replied: “I am not in a position to make that judgement, sir. Others should make that judgement.” Mr Greaney: “You bottled it. You panicked and you failed to take the action that you knew needed to be taken to avoid consequences that you had foreseen. Now does
that describe your state at the time?’ Mr Duckenfield: “I disagree with you sir.” Mr Greaney: “Why?” Mr Duckenfield: “Because that’s my view.” Mr Greaney: “Why is it your view?” Mr Duckenfield: “Because it is my view, and there can be no other view than mine.” Mr Greaney: “Do you accept that might thought to be a rather arrogant thing to say?” Mr Duckenfield: ‘Sir, I apologise. If that appears arrogant, I didn’t mean that to be so.” The inquests have heard that Mr Duckenfield told the 1989 Taylor Inquiry into the disaster that he had made the right decisions on the day, but he now accepted he had made errors - some of which were “grave”. He has told the jury that his serious failings were down to his lack of experience, and that others also played their part in the cause of the deaths. But Mr Duckenfield agreed with Mr Greaney it was “totally unacceptable” that a match commander “did not have a grip on the geography of that ground sufficient to enable you to understand the consequences of your decision making”. He also accepted that when giving evidence to Lord Justice Taylor, it appeared that he was aware that the congested Leppings Lane turnstiles did lead to the central tunnel. Mr Duckenfield said he did not want to go into
detail about his “personal circumstances” - he has previously said he suffered post-traumatic stress - but it may have been that he was “confused” when giving evidence in 1989. Mr Greaney said: “The other possibility that I put to you is that you did at the time know much more about the geography of that ground, and you are seeking to conceal that knowledge from this jury.” Mr Duckenfield said: “I can assure you, sir, I had no idea where fans would go from A to G (turnstiles) or the opening of Gate C.” Mr Greaney pointed out that Mr Duckenfield could have looked at a plan of the ground layout in the police control box before opening the gate at 2.52pm, and that he could have consulted a fellow senior colleague with greater experience of the ground. The barrister told the court that another officer in the control box, operating the CCTV cameras, had earlier told the jury that he thought Mr Duckenfield was “not a leader in that control room during that critical period”. Mr Greaney asked Mr Duckenfield: “Do you agree that (the officer) was describing a match commander who had frozen?” Mr Duckenfield said: “It is a possibility, sir, but that is his view and
I cannot comment further.” Mr Greaney: “Can you not tell us whether on that day in that situation you simply froze?” Mr Duckenfield: “Sir, I think it is fair to say that we were all in a state of shock.” Mr Greaney: “You were the one whose job it was to get past any feelings of shock, do you agree?” Mr Duckenfield: “Yes, sir, but I am human.” Mr Greaney: “Do you agree that you failed to offer any true leadership in that situation on that day?” Mr Duckenfield: “That is not my view.” Earlier, Mr Duckenfield agreed with Mr Greaney that it would be “disgraceful” and “cowardly” to try to shift blame for his own failings to officers under his own command. The retired Chief Superintendent of South Yorkshire Police previously said he had expected police officers on the perimeter track of the ground, and those in the West Stand overlooking the Leppings Lane terrace pens, to have kept an eye on monitoring the filling of them. But he accepted that they had no received formal instructions to do so. On the final morning of Mr Duckenfield’s evidence on Wednesday, he agreed with his own QC, John Beggs, who asked him: “In front of this jury, Mr Duckenfield, many family members in court, many, many lawyers and journalists, you have admitted, haven’t you, some very serious professional failure? The inquest continues.
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News
20th March - 26th March 2015
Harry to take new direction PRINCE Harry, whose June departure from the Army was announced this week, is eagerly awaiting a “new chapter” in his life.
Kensington Palace confirmed that he would end his 10-year military career after a four-week secondment to the Australian Defence Force, starting next month. Harry, fourth in line to the throne, is considering his employment options. He saw action in Afghanistan twice, most recently in 2012 as an Apache helicopter co-pilot and gunner. In a statement released by Kensington Palace, that he was at a “crossroads” and that quitting the Army had been a “really tough decision”. H a r r y, w h o took up a staff officer r o l e with t h e Army l a s t y e a r, added: “I cons i d e r myself incredibly lucky to have had the chance to do some very challenging jobs, and have met many fantastic people in the process. “From learning the hard way to stay onside with my Colour Sergeant at Sandhurst, to the incredible people I served with during two tours in Afghanistan, the experiences I have had over the last 10 years will stay with me for the rest of my life. For that I will always be
hugely grateful.” The Prince completed his final training in 2006 and joined the Household Cavalry (Blues and Royals). He was in Helmand in 2007-08 but was pulled out after the media reported his secret deployment. But he return to Afghanistan in 2012 on a second tour of duty. His Army Air Corps pilot training began in 2009, and he qualified as an Apache pilot in February 2012 While in Australia, the Prince will spend time at an Army barracks in Darwin, Perth and Sydney where he will carry out unit-based activities, training exercises and domestic deployments.He will also join his father, the Prince of Wales, at the Gallipoli commemorations in Turkey on April 2425.
After his Down Under stint, he will complete an official royal tour to New Zealand. When he cuts his ties with the Army, he will do voluntary work with a conservation project in Africa, and with disabled veterans back in the UK. Peter Hunt, the BBC’s royal correspondent, says: “We know what Prince Harry’s giving up. We don’t yet know what will fill the considerable void the absence of a military career will leave in his life. “It’s no surprise that Harry describes quitting the Army as a ‘really tough decision’. He’s cherished doing a job which he was given on merit, and not because he’s a prince. “It’s a job which, when he was in Afghanistan, included targeting and killing Taliban fighters. “In the coming months, as he undertakes voluntary work in Africa and the UK, he’ll have to decide how to occupy himself in the years ahead. He has rejected, for now, the option of becoming a fulltime senior royal.” Hunt added: “Officials will be hoping he embraces something which fulfils him and which doesn’t give him time to again be cast as a party prince. It’s little wonder Harry himself talks of being at a crossroads.”
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St. Patricks Day
www.canarianweekly.com 20th March -26th March 2015
Quite an eventful we YOU are never to far away from a party in Tenerife, and the past week has seen some wild celebrations in the south.
A couple of days ago Oasis Fm had its first outside broadcast of the year at Siam Park. The three-hour event, hosted by singer/DJ Dane Bowers, gave listeners a real feel of what the world’s No.1 water park had to offer. Dane, who was joined by members of Oasis Fm and the cast of Showtime for the special broadcast, said: “It was a brilliant afternoon. “Siam Park is an amazing place to visit, and perfect if you just want to chill. I feel honoured to have done a show from there, and I hope to do it again very soon.” On Sunday, Arona Carnival’s annual parade filled the streets of Los Cristianos. At some points on the route the crowd stood six deep as people strained their necks to glimpse a view of the visually-stunning extravaganza. And on Tuesday, the south of Tenerife was a sea of green for St Patrick’s Day. Every year, the day gets bigger and bigger and many suggested that this year was their best yet. Oasis Fm broadcast live from Murphys and Leonardos in central Las Americas, before finishing the evening at the Devon Arms, in Los Cristianos.
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eek!
Carnival News
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News
20th March -26th March 2015
Key Madrid bank faces bankruptcy A D M I N I S T R AT O R S appointed by the Bank of Spain to oversee operations at Banco de Madrid have filed for bankruptcy following allegations of moneylaundering by a parent company. They acted after discovering that clients had withdrawn large sums of capital. A statement from the Bank of Spain said: “This decision is in response to the strong deterioration of the financial situation of Banco de Madrid SA as a consequence of the large withdrawals of funds by clients that have happened, and the latest events that have become known, which have affected its ability to meet its obligations in a timely manner.” said the statement. Operations at Banco de Madrid have been suspended until the judge makes a decision.” The Bank of Spain said
the bankruptcy filing allowed depositor guarantees up to 100,000 euros to be upheld by the Credit Entity Deposit Guarantee Fund. Late on Monday, 10th March, the Bank of Spain announced it was taking control of Banco de Madrid following a statement by the US Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network that it was declaring Banco de Madrid’s parent company Banca Privada d’Andorra “a foreign financial institution subject to a primary money-laundering concern” under section 311 of the USA Patriot Act. On the Wednesday evening, it was announced that the entire board of directors had resigned. Banco de Madrid reported 1.6 billion euros in assets and a 12.2-million pre-tax profit in its
2013 annual report. Spanish stock market regulator CNMV “temporarily” suspended Banco de Madrid investment fund and SICAV reimbursements on Monday, which meant that investors could not choose to withdraw their investments from funds managed by the bank. It said: “The suspension, a consequence of the bankruptcy situation of Banco de Madrid, is limited to funds in which the aforementioned bank was participating, and will last the amount of time necessary to guarantee the rights of investors in these products and their equal treatment.” A source close to the CNMV confirmed that the suspension also affected fund transfers to other investment vehicles, and not just withdrawals from Banco de Madrid products.
High Street shops closing quickly BRITAIN’S High Street shops experienced a sharp decline in 2014 with many more closing than opening.
The Local Data Company, basing its analysis on the top 500 UK town centres, said nearly 1,000 High Street shops disappeared last year – around three times the 2013 total. Overall, 839 outlets closed last year - no fewer than 16 a day - with clothes and shoe shops suffered the most. Service shops such as opticians and travel agents also saw net falls, but leisure stores such as food and drinks outlets kept thriving. Coffee shops, tobacconists and charity shops were among those opening the most branches last year, according to the survey. The biggest losers by category were mobilephone shops, which saw their numbers drop by 419, decline accelerated by the collapse of
Phones 4U into administration. Mark Hudson, retail leader at PwC, which commissioned the research, said shop closures were likely to continue at their current rate, which was only a marginally slower than in 2013. However, new shop openings helped to keep High Streets occupied in 2013, but there were fewer new stores opening last year. “Customers are embracing new mobile technologies,” he add-
ed. “Traditional retail channels to market are being wiped out and new channels are being created, often in the online rather than the ‘real’ world.” Matthew Hopkinson, director of the Local Data Company, also expects changes to continue. “The area to watch in 2015 is the battle of the convenienceand-food-stores’ sector as supermarkets, the discounters and pound shops fight it out,” he said.
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News
20th March - 26th March 2015
KCHO, a sculptor who has close ties to the Cuban government, is opening the country’s first internet service at his new cultural centre in Havana.
Approval was granted to Kcho by Cuba’s state telecom agency Etecsa. He is operating the wireless hub using his own, government-approved internet connection, and paying around £600 per month to run it. But because internet access is incredibly expensive there, some 5%-25% of Cubans only have any type of service. For example, an hour of internet access at a cafe can cost nearly a week’s wages for the average Cuban – about $4.50. But Kcho has decided to offer free internet at his western Havana centre, which opened in January, to encourage Cubans to familiarise themselves with the internet. The sculptor is probably the only artist the government would permit to run a public access wi-fi service. The last time Fidel Castro
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Cuba welcomes the real world!
was seen in public was at an exhibition by the contemporary artist. Many analysts in Cuba see this as a small but potentially significant step. What seems clear is that no such internet access could happen without the tacit approval of the authorities, who may well be using Kcho’s initiative to test the waters of allowing greater internet access on the island. But this move is still far from universal internet access for Cubans. There are a number of Havana areas where informal users have found ways to access business wi-fi connections, as well as a number of illegal wi-fi networks operating in some neighbourhoods. Together, they may be seen as examples of greater tolerance towards internet connec-
tivity by the authorities. But the next step - reducing the costs and increasing the availability of connections in private homes - has yet to be announced.
The government there is keen to upgrade its dilapidated or non-existent telecommunications infrastructure. Although Cuba’s connectivity to the internet
was greatly expanded with the completion of an undersea cable between the island and Venezuela more than two years ago, the country still has some of the
lowest internet connectivity rates in the world. On 15th January, the US announced new rules to eased long-running sanctions against Cuba - a trade embargo has been in place since 1962. A key part of that decision by the Obama administration was a stated desire to help boost the island’s telecommunications. Last week, Etecsa said it had established a direct telephone connection between the US and Cuba for the first time in 15 years, as relations between the two countries continue to thaw. Netflix, the streaming TV and film service, has now launched its site in Cuba, although it is not clear how many Cubans actually have internet connections fast enough to operate the service.
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20th March -26th March 2015
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News
20th March -26th March 2015
And this is the Navy’s modern new uniform! IT has taken 70 years to change, but it’s difficult to believe that this is what designers have come up with for today’s Royal Navy uniform.
New
The previous, attractive, light-blue shirt and trousers, known as Action Working Dress, or No4s, have been worn at sea ever since World War Two. But the Navy describes the new, darkerblue version as “more modern, comfortable and fire retardant”. The crew of the Portsmouth-based HMS Lancaster, who are the first to wear it, head out to the South Atlantic tomorrow (Saturday) on a nine-month deployment. The new design, officially called the Royal Navy Personal Clothing
System (RNPCS), has been tested on several ships and submarines. And, according to the Navy, the feedback has been “mostly positive”. It would be more than interesting to know what the others feel about it! The new uniform is notable for its several layers, with inter-changeable Tshirt, top and thermals, depending on the climate. It will offer more protection from flash fires, and badges denoting rank will now be worn at the front rather than on the shoulders. There is also a large White Ensign on the left shoulder. Meanwhile, the trousers weigh less, have slanted pockets for ease of access, and smaller belt loops. Cdr Peter Laughton, commanding officer of HMS Lancaster, said: “We are extremely proud and genuinely
delighted to be the first ship to wear the Royal Navy’s new uniform. “It is a really practical, smart and modern uniform, and the extra branding allows us to represent our service much better. “This will most certainly be the case during our current deployment, where we are due to transit in excess of 30,000 nautical miles and visit up to 18 different countries.” Vice-Admiral Sir David Steel, who oversaw the changes while in his previous post of Second Sea Lord, said the old look was “a bit out of date”. He added: “This is a modern uniform which suits a modern Navy. But the most important thing is that it is comfortable to wear in the extremes of climate in which the Royal Navy operates - from the Antarctic to the Gulf.”
In the initial roll-out, about 22,000 sets of the uniform are being issued to operational and sea-going ships. Among a raft of uniform changes the sailors rank is now signified in the middle of the top, near the heart. A dark blue beret with an optional baseball style cap replaces the cap with the unit’s band. A white ensign badge has been added to the left sleeve and a Royal Navy branding is now prominent on the right side of the chest. One retired sailor was outraged. He told us “It’s horrible. It makes a sailor look like a boiler repair man. There is a tradition to our uniform and you want to wear something that will make you proud. It doesn’t look like a Royal Navy uniform which was always smart and distinctive.”
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Feature
20th March - 26th March 2015
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You’re having a laugh! The Tenerife Comedy Club has it’s first show of the year tomorrow (Saturday) with four fine comedians. Headliner Joe Rowntree is joined by Belfast’s Ryan McDonnel, Matt Richardson and Kevin Dewsbury. This week we caught up with Matt and Kevin and discovered a liking for ‘exotic’ Milton Keynes!
Matt Richardson KEVIN DEWSBURY AT 23, Matt has gone a long way in a short time, and he recalls: “I started doing stand-up in November 2009 when I was 18 years old. “After a couple more gigs that year, I started gigging regularly in February 2010. After gigging really hard for about 18 months, I finally quit university and my job in a lettings office to become a professional comedian at 20. “In 2013, I co-hosted The Xtra Factor on ITV2 with Caroline Flack and appeared on shows like Sweat the Small Stuff (BBC3) a couple of times, Celebrity Juice, Nevermind The Buzzcocks and a load of other bits and bobs. “My 54-date UK tour Hometown Hero started in September and took me all the way through to June. While on tour I also filmed a series of a new panel show called Viral Tap for ITV2. “Now the tour and Viral Tap have finished, I’m working hard on writing a new tour for 2015 and gigging at a load of festivals and clubs.” And Matt has also won awards, including: *Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival, Best New Show 2012 - Winner *Latitude Festival, New Act of the Year 2011 - Finalist *Bath Comedy Festival, New Act of the Year 2011 - Winner *Reading Comedy Festival, New Act of the Year 2010 - Runner-Up *So You Think You’re Funny? 2010 - Finalist *Chortle Student Comedy Award 2010 - Finalist *Newbury Comedy Festival, New Act of the Year 2010 - Winner
How did you get in to comedy? By accident, I was focused on being an actor and in London at drama school. I was being typecast in comedy roles so I succumbed to my funny bones and put myself in for a try-out spot at a club. It went well and I was hooked. I was rubbish at the second gig, though, but then I got better again, so it has turned out okay. When and where was your first gig? It was on 10th April 2000 at a tiny bar in Islington, North London. The venue is no longer there, but I don’t think it was anything to do with my performance. Honestly! Were you nervous? How did it go? As it was my first-ever gig and I’m a massive show-off, I was so determined to make sure it went well. I invited loads of mates, too, which piled on the pressure - and the gig went brilliantly. The nerves crept in on my second gig and I couldn’t remember any of my jokes. How has your comedy changed or evolved since you started? Over the past few years, I’ve become a bit more honest on stage. When I first started out, I was mainly doing one-liners, whereas now I have mostly long, story-telling routines. Describe your comedy style in one sentence Understated funny stuff, emanating from my face. Has there been any one point when you consider you broke through on to the scene? No, you always strive to be better. Once you feel you’ve reached a plateau, you become complacent. Plus, I’ve never heard of me either! What has been the highlight of your career so far? Possibly doing a gig for a Saudi Prince and his friends in the Seychelles, though I’ve also gigged in Milton Keynes. What ambitions do you have with your comedy career? None. I just take every gig as it comes. I like a quiet life these days and avoid the madness of festivals. What do you like to do outside of comedy? I’m a big fan of quizzes and useless trivia, though it’s not useless if you’re in a quiz. I also go to the theatre as much as I can, and spend just enough time in the gym every week. What can people expect from your show at the Tenerife Comedy Club? Well, it depends on the night really, but I always have a set idea of routines I will most likely perform. But who knows what happens when the dreaded audience interaction takes place? I’m always nice to people, though, unless they’re being an idiot, of course. But idiots are rare and easily dealt with, so expect it to be funny ... unless you’re an idiot, obviously!
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Business
By Carol Schleisman of Currencies Direct
SPANISH property investors could be about to bask in the warmth of the best buying conditions they’ve had in some time.
Buyers are benefiting from the slide of the euro, some of the lowest Euribor mortgage rates in history, and remarkably low Spanish property prices. Timing is a crucial part of overseas investment, especially when exchange-rate fluctuations are taken into account. Since March 2011, Sterling has appreciated 21% against the euro. This means that a 200,000-euro Spanish (or Tenerife) home on the market in 2011 would have cost a little less than £182,000. How-
20th March -26th March 2015
The right time, the right deal... ever, with the collapse of the euro, the same place now costs under £143,000, so that significant £39,000 saving could go towards creating the home of your dreams. But let’s not forget the other factors at play here. The Bank of Spain’s own data shows that variable-rate mortgages have collapsed to a record low, because of the fall in Euribor rates. Yet the Spanish property market is making a comeback after the crash caused by the global financial crisis. Spanish property prices nosedived by a staggering 41.6% after the 2007 crash. But last year, the fall in house prices levelled out at around 3% - a vast improvement, according to the Tinsa IMIE General and Large Markets Index. A revival in tourism,
a charged economy experiencing strong domestic demand, and a potential employment recovery, all tell us that Spain is returning to health. The Tinsa report suggests that Spanish property could even stop declining in the short-term, if the positive economic conditions hold. Bernard Vent, managing director of Winkworth Spain, has added his voice to those of many other property experts who claim that Spain currently offers the best return on investment (ROI), both for house purchases or as a vehicle for investment. “There are very few, if any, markets outside of Spain throughout Europe that offer an ROI this high,” he said. According to Tinsa, the Mediterranean
coast region is where property prices fell the most - the value of a house there has almost halved (down 48.6%) since 2007. Above -national-av-
erage decreases were also noted in capitals and major cities (down 45.7%), and metropolitan areas (down 43.9%). When it comes to property, however, what goes
down must come up. if you’re thinking of moving to Spain or Tenerife, it may be a good idea to investigate your options now rather than later.
UK ‘walking tall again’ BRITAIN’S Chancellor George Osborne began his final Budget speech before May’s General Election on a high in Parliament on Wednesday.
He told MPs the country was “walking tall again” after five years of austerity, and went on to announce tax cuts for first-time buyers, workers and savers. He also cut 1p from beer duty, 2% from cider and whisky, and froze fuel and wine duty. Predictably, not everyone agreed, Labour leader Ed Miliband saying Mr Osborne had “failed working families”. But Mr Osborne, in his final pitch to voters before the Election, pledged that if the Conservatives won overall power, the first £1,000 of savings interest would be tax free meaning 95% of savers would pay no tax. He also said savings put aside for a deposit by first-time buyers would be topped up by
the government this autumn - to the tune of £50 for every £200 saved. The Chancellor hailed slightly better-thanexpected growth figures, which suggest the economy will expand by 2.5% this year, rather than 2.4%. And he described his economic package as a “Budget for Britain - a comeback country”. Mr Osborne said the government had met its 2010 target, to end this Parliament with Britain’s national debt falling as a share of GDP, meaning the “the hard work and sacrifice of the British people has paid off”. Setting out his plans in the Commons, Mr Osborne said: “We took difficult decisions in the teeth of opposition and it worked. Britain is walking tall again. Five years ago, our economy had suffered a collapse greater than almost any country. “Today, I can confirm that in the last year, we have grown faster than any other major advanced economy in the world.”
But Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls said the Treasury’s own figures showed spending at the “lowest level since 1938” in 2018-19. And the independent Office for Budget Responsibility, in its analysis, said Mr Osborne’s plans implied a “roller-coaster profile” for expenditure over the next five years. Other proposed measures by Mr Osborne include: *Relaxing pension rules from April 2016 to allow up to five million existing pensioners to swap their fixed annual payments for cash *Annual tax returns scrapped and replaced with “digital tax accounts” *A fresh crackdown on tax avoidance and evasion, which will raise £3.1bn *Raising the rate of the bank levy to 0.21% to bring in an *£1.3bn in tax cuts for North Sea oil exploration and continued production in older fields *The price of 20 cigarettes will go up by 16p as part of a the longstanding formula that the price rises by 2% above inflation.
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Alan Carr: Chatty Man
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Friday 20th March, Channel 4, 22:00 2015 NTA Best Chat Show Host and Bafta Award-winning funnyman Alan Carr is back with the 14th series of Chatty Man. There’s more unashamedly addictive celeb-fuelled antics, mischievous chat and top musical performances, as Alan is joined by a host of international and home-grown stars from the worlds of music, film, TV and sport. In the first show, Alan’s guests are all four The Voice judges - Rita Ora, Will.i.am, Ricky Wilson and Tom Jones - who chat about the forthcoming live shows. Hollywood star Antonio Banderas drops in to talk about his latest film, The SpongeBob Movie: A Sponge Out of Water, and Steph and Dom from Channel 4’s Gogglebox chat about the new series, plus music from Ella Henderson, who performs Mirror Man live in the studio.
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TV Guide
20th March -26th March 2015
Frid a y 06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain
06:00 ...................... Breakfast
05:30 ............Ultimate Brain
09:00 ............ Eclipse Live - A Stargazing Special
06:05 ....................Perfection
10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer
07:35 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming
11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming
08:20 ........Countryside 999
10:30 .............. This Morning
09:05 ..............Alaska: Earth’s Frozen Kingdom
10:55 ...................... ITV News 11:00 .............. This Morning
10:00...... Gardeners’ World
12:30............ Loose Women
10:35........ The Travel Show
13:30.............. ITV News and Weather
11:45............ Watchdog Test House 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ......................The Edge 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45 ..............Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 16:15 ...........................Flog It! 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30 .BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30......... A Question of Sport 20:00 ............ EastEnders 20:30 ........... MasterChef 21:00 .... The Musketeers 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ........... The Graham Norton Show 23:25.. Would I Lie to You? 23:55..............EastEnders Omnibus
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06:50 ....................Perfection
11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00....... The Daily Politics 13:00.......... The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:15 .... Cagney and Lacey 14:00 .......The World at War 14:55 .. Wogan: The Best of 15:40 ..... Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 16:15.. Three Up, Two Down 16:45 ...................... Hi-De-Hi! 17:15 ..........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 18:00.............. Two Tribes 18:30............... Eggheads 19:00 .....Britain’s Got the Builders In 20:00........... Mastermind 20:30...Gardeners’ World 21:00 .....Stargazing Live 22:30 .............Newsnight 23:00.............Artsnight
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23:35 ......Passchendaele
08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show
14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ................................1000 Heartbeats 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:30......... ITV News and Weather 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30............. Coronation Street 20:00 .................. Barging Round Britain with John Sergeant 20:30............. Coronation Street 21:00..........Bear Grylls: Mission Survive
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22:00 ..... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40...........State of Play
Artsnight BBC2, 23.00
Artsnight - a weekly 30 minute arts and culture magazine show for BBC Two, made by BBC Arts - continues throughout March after Newsnight. Each week’s special is curated and guest presented by a different major player in contemporary British culture. On Friday 20 March, writer and satirist Armando Iannucci asks whether access and enjoyment of ‘high culture’ is still important in British society. He explores the extraordinary impact of Apollo Music Projects, which is bringing classical music to young people in deprived areas. He meets Britain’s most exciting young poet, Kate Tempest, to deconstruct the work of one of our most radical Romantic writers, William Blake. Armando is also taken on a unique tour by the artist Jake Chapman around the The Courtauld Gallery’s critically acclaimed exhibition focusing on the last of the Old Masters, Francisco Goya. Plus comedian Josie Long gives her personal polemic on the art that matters to her.
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
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06:00 .................Countdown
06:00 ............. The Wotwots!
06:45 ........................... King of Queens
06:10 .................Igam Ogam
07:10 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun
06:30 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat
07:35 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun 08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond
06:20.............. Fireman Sam
06:45 .....................Peppa Pig 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!
08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond
07:10............. Little Princess
09:00 ........................... Frasier
07:35 ..........................Thomas and Friends
09:30........................... Frasier 10:00.................. Undercover Boss Canada 11:00 .........Kevin McCloud’s Man Made Home 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05........... Celebrity Come Dine with Me 13:05 ...............A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun
07:20.... The Mr. Men Show
07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25..................... Peppa Pig 08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 09:00 ...................Tickety Toc
14:10................. Countdown
09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff
15:00 ........................... Deal or No Deal
11:10....................... The Hotel Inspector
16:00................... Come Dine with Me 17:00............... Four in a Bed
12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime
18:00 ....... The Simpsons
12:15....................... Costa Del Casualty: Benidorm ER
18:30 .............. Hollyoaks
13:15 ........Home and Away
19:00 .... Channel 4 News
13:45 .................Neighbours
17:30 ....................Coach Trip
20:00.......The Million Pound Drop The Broadfoot family join Davina to conclude their game with a huge amount of cash still in play, and only one question to answer in the final show of the series. Will they walk away victorious or empty-handed?
14:15 ............................... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:15 ................. Safe Harbor 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00 ... Home and Away 18:30..... 5 News Tonight 19:00 ............ The Gadget Show 20:00..... World’s Scariest Animal Attacks
21:00 ............ Gogglebox 22:00............... Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:05........................ Troy
21:00 .............. NCIS: New Orleans
06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:25 ............................. Psych 07:10...................Emmerdale 08:10 ................. You’ve Been Framed! 08:40 ................ Dinner Date 09:40................ Catchphrase 10:20 ............................. Psych 11:15................... Royal Pains 12:10.................. Emmerdale 13:15.................. You’ve Been Framed! 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ...............Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion 22:55...........Take Me Out
06:00 .....................Babylon 5 06:45................. Doctor Who 07:40................... MasterChef Australia 09:00.......................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00...................... Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 13:00... Masterchef Ireland 14:00 ..............Tipping Point 15:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 16:00 ...................... Escape to the Country 17:00................. Doctor Who 18:00............ Road Patrol Australia 19:00............. Masterchef Ireland 20:00..... Neighbourhood Blues 21:00.......................Crisis 22:00........ Seven Pounds
08:55....................... Location, Location, Location 10:00 ...River Cottage Bites 10:20 ........................... A Place in the Sun 10:55 ........................Planet of the Apes 13:10................... Time Team 14:15................... Time Team 15:20...................... A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 16:20 .....A Place in the Sun 17:25............. Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 17:55 ................... Come Dine with Me 19:00... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 19:55 ...... Grand Designs 21:00 ..............The Client 23:25 ..... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
06:00 ...Nothing to Declare: Australia
07:00 ........ Storage Hunters 07:25 ..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:10....................... Top Gear 09:00 .......................Top Gear 10:00 ........ Storage Hunters 10:30........ Storage Hunters 11:00.... Lizard Lick Towing 11:30 .... Lizard Lick Towing 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00....................... Top Gear 14:00 ........ Storage Hunters 14:25 ................. Traffic Cops 15:30 ........ Storage Hunters 16:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 16:30.... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 .......................Top Gear 19:00... Storage Hunters 21:00 ...... Not Going Out 22:20 ..... Mock the Week 23:00........................... QI 23:40 .... 8 Out of 10 Cats
06:00..... Sporting Rivalries
07:00...........Inside RAF Brize Norton 08:00 .........Emergency with Angela Griffin 09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 13:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:00.............Harrow: A Very British School 16:00 ..................... Futurama 16:30 ..................... Futurama 17:00 .............The Simpsons 17:30 ..................... Futurama 18:00 .............. Futurama 18:30 ....... The Simpsons
22:00 .......................NCIS
20:00 ..... Flintoff: Lord of the Fries
23:00 ......Law and Order: Special Victims Unit
21:00...................... Stella 22:00 ........... Quiz Nights
23:55.....................Access
23:00 ........... Wild Things
06:30.............. Rugby Union 08:30 .............. Rugby Union 10:30 .......... Premier League Darts 14:00 ..................The Premier League Years 16:00 ............. Football Gold 16:15 ............. Football Gold 16:30 ............. Football Gold 16:45 ............. Football Gold 17:00 ............. Football Gold 17:15 ............. Football Gold 17:30 ............. Football Gold 17:45 ............. Football Gold 18:00...... Premier League Legends 19:30..................Football 23:00.... Barclays Premier League Preview 23:30............. Champions League Weekly
Bear Grylls: Mission Survive ITV1, 21.00
In this penultimate section of their journey the four strong celebrity expedition team must find and eat the fruits of the forest, survive another stormy night and face their most extreme challenge yet –crossing a 200ft ravine on a rope. Bear also tests the celebrities’ ability to start a fire before deciding who will be the final three to go forward to the Mission Survive final. The already exhausted, hungry, and mentallydrained expedition team wake up to bad news: no more rations. Survival experts Meg and Scott carry out a military style ruck-sack inspection to see if the celebrities are hiding any food and to make sure they still have all their survival kit.The team meets Bear, who is at the top of a volcanic corridor, waiting to set them their first mission of the day, to forage for food. They must find a specific selection of plants and fruits, offering vitamins and other nutritional essentials and if they don’t complete the task they will go hungry.
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TV Guide
20th March -26th March 2015
S a turd a 06:00 ...................... Breakfast
07:10 ............................. Safari
10:00 ........................Saturday Kitchen Live
08:40 .. Six Nations Rewind
06:00 ......... Bottom Knocker Street
09:40 ........ The Fred Dibnah Story
06:10......... Bottom Knocker Street
10:10 ...............Fred Dibnah’s Magnificent Monuments
06:20 ......... Bottom Knocker Street
10:40 ....................The Nature of Britain
06:35...................... Dino Dan
11:30 ....... A Taste of Britain
07:00 ...................... Canimals
12:30 ......... Talking Pictures
07:10 .............................Sooty
13:10............ The Man in the White Suit
07:25 .............. Share a Story
11:30 ......................... Football Focus 12:00 .....................BBC News 12:10 ................... Six Nations Rugby Union 14:25 ................... Six Nations Rugby Union 16:30................Six Nations Rugby Union
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19:00 .............. BBC News
14:35................. Flight of the Navigator
19:10............ BBC London News
16:00 ...............Escape to the Country
19:15......... The Voice UK 21:15.......... The National Lottery Live 21:25 ......... The Voice UK 22:00.............. BBC News 22:20..................Match of the Day
16:30................... Final Score 17:15 ...........................Flog It! 18:15 ..Gardeners’ World 18:45...... Kew on a Plate 19:45............ Dad’s Army 20:15 ....... Murder on the Victorian Railway
06:45...................... Dino Dan
07:30 ..................Scrambled! 07:35 ..................... Nerds and Monsters 07:50......... Adventure Time 08:30 ...............Horrid Henry 08:50 ................Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H 09:25.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:20 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show
21:15.......... Now is Good
23:45........... The Football League Show
12:30.............. ITV News and Weather
22:50..... Girl with a Pearl Earring
12:35................... The Jeremy Kyle Show
01:05....................... Virus
00:25...... Michael Collins
13:40 ....Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle
Six Nations: England v France BBC1, 16.30 The climax to the 2015 Six Nations takes place at Twickenham, where England host France. They began this year’s championship as the two most successful nations in Six Nations history, but England last won the title in 2011, a year after France’s most recent success. After three successive second-place finishes Stuart Lancaster’s England harboured genuine hopes of lifting the trophy and proving their credentials ahead of a home World Cup in the autumn. Guests include World Cup-winning coach Sir Clive Woodward and former France international Thomas Castaignede.
15:30 ................Secrets From the Sky 16:00....... Off Their Rockers 16:30... Big Star’s Little Star 17:30..... ITV News London 17:45.............. ITV News and Weather 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed! 19:00......Ant and Dec’s W C Saturday Night choice Takeaway 20:25......... You’re Back in the Room 21:25 .........The Jonathan Ross Show 22:30......... ITV News and Weather 22:45 ...............Burn after Reading 00:30 ........... Jackpot247
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
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2 1 st 06:05 ................... Transworld Sport
06:00 .....................Peppa Pig
07:05 ..........................Cycling
06:20.... Angelina Ballerina
08:00 ................The Morning Line
06:35...................... Pip Ahoy!
09:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond
06:55............. Chloe’s Closet
09:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
06:05. Bananas in Pajamas
06:45.... The Mr. Men Show 07:10 ...............Olly the Little White Van 07:15............... Make Way for Noddy
M a rc h 06:00 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus
06:10.......................... The Bill
08:40 ...... Coronation Street Omnibus
08:00.......................... The Bill
11:10 .............. Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 12:35 ............... Catchphrase 13:20.............. The Hot Desk 13:30............................. Twins
07:25 ....................Paw Patrol
15:40 ....................... Mr. Bean
07:40 ............. Little Princess
16:15........................ Mr. Bean
08:00 ........... Wanda and the Alien 08:10 .........Zack and Quack
16:45........ Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde
08:25 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom
18:50 ...... Wild Wild West 21:00 .......... Rush Hour 2
08:45 ...................Jelly Jamm
22:50 ...... Celebrity Juice
09:00..................... LazyTown
23:35 ...Ibiza Weekender
13:30 .........................Channel 4 Racing
09:30 ...... Dora and Friends
00:35 .......Crazy Beaches
10:00 ....The Mr. Men Show
01:00 ........ Hell’s Kitchen
16:10 ................... Come Dine with Me
10:10 .................. SpongeBob Squarepants
01:50 ....... Fake Reaction
16:40 ................... Come Dine with Me
10:28 .................. SpongeBob Squarepants
17:10 ................... Come Dine with Me
10:45 .... Alpha and Omega
10:35........................... Frasier 11:05........................... Frasier 11:35........................... The Big Bang Theory 12:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 12:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 13:00 ...........Rude(Ish) Tube
17:45 ................... Come Dine with Me 18:10 ....... The Simpsons 18:40.................. Channel 4 News 19:05 .................... Selling Off Britain 20:00............. The World’s Weirdest Weather 21:00 .......Richard III: The Princes in the Tower
12:25 ..............Columbo: The Conspirators 14:25 ...... Holiday Love Rats Exposed 15:25 ........The Woman with 40 Cats... And Other Pet Hoarders 16:25 ..................GPs: Behind Closed Doors 17:25 ............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 18:20 ......Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away! 19:10.......................Police Interceptors 20:00... 5 News Weekend 20:05 .......................NCIS 22:00.....CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
22:00 ................ Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 00:05............... Alan Carr: Chatty Man
22:55.......Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 23:50.....True Crimes: The First 72 Hours 00:15..........Super Casino
06:00 ......... Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old? 07:00...........Dog the Bounty Hunter 08:00 ..................The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .........Game Changers 10:00.................. Soccer A.M. 12:00................The F1 Show 13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 14:00 ............Harrow: A Very British School 15:00.......... Inside RAF Brize Norton 16:00 .. The Holidaymakers 17:00 ................. Wild Things 18:00 ....... The Simpsons 19:00..NCIS: Los Angeles 20:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0 21:00... Lethal Weapon 3 23:20...... Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life 00:20 ........ Hawaii Five-0
07:00.......................... The Bill 09:00 .......................... The Bill 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ........... Toughest Place to be a... 12:00............... Resurrection 13:00 ... Masterchef Ireland 13:30 ... Masterchef Ireland 14:00........ Countryside 999 15:00........ Countryside 999 16:00 ........Countryside 999
08:55......... River Cottage Bites 09:25..Time Team Special 11:00.... Carry on Doctor 12:55......... Four in a Bed 13:25......... Four in a Bed 15:40................ Location, Location, Location 16:45... The Wizard of Oz 18:45............ Great Canal Journeys 19:50... Walking Through History
19:00..... Motorway Cops
20:55 .......The Mystery of the Nevada Triangle
20:00 ............ Road Patrol Australia
22:00....... Richard III: The King in the Car Park
20:30 ............ Road Patrol Australia
23:40..... Fatal Flight 447: Chaos in the Cockpit
21:00 ....... Seven Pounds
00:45....... The Mystery of the Nevada Triangle
23:30 ...Emergency Bikers 00:30 ..............The Strain 01:30.............. The Strain
07:10.................... Hardliners 07:35 ....................Hardliners 08:00 .......................Top Gear 10:00...... American Pickers 11:00........ Storage Hunters 12:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 13:00 .......Red Bull Soapbox Race 14:00 .......... Sin City Motors 15:00 ........ Storage Hunters 16:30 ...... Stephen Fry’s 100 Greatest Gadgets 17:45 ...... Stephen Fry’s 100 Greatest Gadgets 19:00 ... Storage Hunters 20:00 ...................Would I Lie to You? 22:00.... Russell Howard’s Good News 22:55......Russell Howard 01:00 ... Storage Hunters 01:55 ...................Would I Lie to You?
01:50... Walking Through History
06:00 ........Football Gold 06:15........ Football Gold 06:30........ Football Gold 06:45........ Football Gold 07:00........ Football Gold 07:15........ Football Gold 07:30.... Barclays Premier League Review 09:00.... Game Changers 10:00........... Soccer A.M. 12:00..................Football 14:30 ....... Viral Videos of the Month-February 14:45................ Ringside 15:45 ..........The F1 Show 16:45........ Ford Saturday Night Football 20:00 ............. SNF: Game of the Day 22:00...SNF: Match Choice 23:30...SNF: Match Choice 01:00...SNF: Match Choice
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Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway ITV1, 19.00
Ant and Dec serve up another instalment of their award winning hit series, Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. On tonight’s show, Hollywood superstar Neil Patrick Harris will be lending his distinctive tones throughout the show as the Star Guest Announcer. Ant & Dec unleash their most elaborate Undercover to date as they trick good friend Stephen Mulhern during a theatre production of Sleeping Beauty, with the help of 400 members of audience. The only series on TV that says ‘Don’t just watch the ads – win them!’ is jammed back with jawdropping stunts, hilarious surprises and brand new shocks for the studio audience and viewers at home. During the series Ashley Roberts will be back to challenge the pair to the ultimate duel in Ant V Dec, and whilst Little Ant and Dec may have already rubbed shoulders with Mayor Boris Johnson,
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TV Guide
Caribbean With Simon Reeve
20th March -26th March 2015
S u n d a y
BBC2, 20.00
Simon begins his journey on the Caribbean island of Hispaniola, travelling from the Dominican Republic, with its idyllic scenery, to Haiti, the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, before reaching Puerto Rico, a Caribbean island on the cusp of becoming America’s 51st State. From flying boats to drug busts, Simon explores both the light and dark sides of the Dominican Republic, the Caribbean’s most popular tourist destination. He joins the Police Anti-Narcotics Division on the front line in the war against international drug cartels in Santo Domingo before crossing the border to Haiti where he visits the notorious tented camps of Cite de Soleil. These slums remain home to many of the survivors of the worst earthquake to hit the island in two centuries. From Voodoo ceremonies to dolphin watching, Simon also discovers a vibrant, colourful and thriving side to life in Haiti borne out of the country’s unique history. Finally Simon reaches Puerto Rico, an island with close ties to the USA. He visits the tiny, paradisiacal island of Vieques, billed as the Caribbean’s next major tourist destination. However, not everything here is as it seems as Simon examines the impact six decades of bombing and weapons testing by the U.S. Navy and Army has had on the landscape of this tiny island and on the people who live there.
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 07:30 ...... Match of the Day 09:00 .......The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 .... The Big Questions 11:00 .......... Sunday Politics 12:15.............. MOTD2 Extra 13:00.................... BBC News 13:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 14:15....... Homes Under the Hammer 15:15 ......... The Truth About Sugar 16:15 ...............Escape to the Country 16:45.......................... Lifeline 16:55.......... Songs of Praise 17:30 .....................BBC News 18:00.....The Big Painting Challenge 19:00.............Countryfile 20:00 ................ Antiques Roadshow 21:00.................. Poldark 22:00.............. BBC News 22:30.. Match of the Day 2 23:40..... Football League Trophy Highlights 00:25 ......... The Celebrity Apprentice USA
06:00.......... Life in a Cottage Garden with Carol Klein 06:30..................Great British Garden Revival 07:30....... Gardeners’ World 08:00................... Countryfile 09:00 .................The Football League Show 10:20.........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:50........ A Taste of Britain 12:20........... Back in Time for Dinner 13:20....Day of the Evil Gun 14:50............. Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 15:30.. Three Up, Two Down 16:00....................... Hi-De-Hi! 16:35 ..........The Hairy Bikers and Lorraine Pascale 17:35...................... Operation Stonehenge: What Lies Beneath 18:35.............. Pompidou 19:00..............Six Nations Greatest Moments W 21:00.....Louis Theroux Coi ch ce 22:00..........Bluestone 42 22:30 ................ Red Tails 00:25................. Donkeys
06:00 ......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:10 ......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:20 ......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:35...................... Dino Dan 07:00 ...................... Canimals 07:10 .............................Sooty 07:25 .............. Share a Story 07:30 ..................Scrambled! 07:35 ..................... Nerds and Monsters 07:50 .............The Aquabats! Super Show! 08:30 ...............Horrid Henry 08:50 ................Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 12:45 .......................... Murder, She Wrote 13:45 ................. Fletch Lives 15:30 ...........River Monsters 16:00.......................... Twister
Louis Theroux: By Reason Of Insanity BBC2, 21.00
Ibiza Weekender ITV2, 21.00 In this penultimate episode, Rachael starts her job as head rep, a fact that boozy Ben is only to pleased about. Imogen’s emotions are rocky as she feels she has let the team down and is also unsure whether Deano really wants a relationship or is this more of a holiday fling for him. Meanwhile Jordan’s romantic interest in new head rep Rachael grows, but would she ever break ‘girl code’ and go for her ‘mentors’ ex lover?
Louis immerses himself in the world of Ohio’s State Psychiatric Hospitals, meeting patients who have committed crimes - at times horrifically violent - while in the grip of severe mental illness. They have been found Not Guilty by Reason Of Insanity and ordered by the courts to secure psychiatric facilities to receive the treatment that it is hoped will, one day, lead to their reintegration back into society. In the first episode of this two-part series, Louis spends time with patients attempting to come to terms with their crimes and the clinicians entrusted with helping to make them safe.
18:05................. ITV News London 18:15......... ITV News and Weather 18:30 ............. The Chase: Celebrity Special 19:30.................. Off Their CW Rockers ch oi ce 20:00........ All Star Family Fortunes 21:00...........Mr Selfridge 22:00..........ITV News and Weather 22:15............. Bear Grylls: Mission Survive 23:20......................Rugby Highlights 00:15................The Store
www.canarianweekly.com
TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
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05:55................................. NFL
06:00 .....................Peppa Pig
06:00 ....................... Mr. Bean
06:10......... Planet Dinosaur
06:20 ........... How I Met Your Mother
06:05.....................Bananas in Pajamas
06:25....................... Mr. Bean
07:00 .Walking with Beasts
06:45 ........... How I Met Your Mother
07:30 .Walking with Beasts
06:20 ........................Angelina Ballerina
06:50................... Emmerdale Omnibus
07:10 ........... How I Met Your Mother
06:35 ......................Pip Ahoy!
09:40....... Coronation Street Omnibus
09:00 ..............Bondi Rescue
12:10................ Take Me Out
10:00 ...... DIY SOS: Children in Need Special
07:35 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 ........................... Frasier 09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:30 .......... Sunday Brunch 12:30 ...........George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 13:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 14:00 .............The Simpsons 14:30............. The Simpsons
06:45................. The Mr. Men Show 06:55........... Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures
13:20............ Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records
07:00 .............Chloe’s Closet
13:50 .......................Scorpion
07:15 ...............Olly the Little White Van
14:45................ Catchphrase
07:20............... Make Way for Noddy
15:40 ....Hotel Transylvania
07:30.................... Paw Patrol
17:25 .............. Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway
07:45 ............. Little Princess
18:50 ........She’s the Man
08:00 ........... Wanda and the Alien 08:10 ........................Zack and Quack 08:25 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom
21:00.Ibiza Weekender
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22:00.....The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 01:10...................... Mom 01:40...................... Mom
08:00 ....... Fake or Fortune? 09:30 ..............Bondi Rescue
11:00 .........................DIY SOS 12:00 ....Haunted Collector 13:00 ....Haunted Collector 14:00 ................ Doctor Who 15:00 ................ Doctor Who 16:00 ................ Doctor Who 17:00................ Doctor Who 19:00...... One Born Every Minute 20:00 ......... Resurrection 21:00 .............Daredevils 22:00..... Motorway Cops 23:20.................... Grimm 00:20........... Doctor Who
08:55 ....Tiny House Nation 09:55 ............ Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 11:00................... Great Canal Journeys 12:00 ............Shipping Wars 12:30............ Shipping Wars 13:00............ Shipping Wars 14:00.......... Jamie’s Comfort Food 14:30............... Four in a Bed 15:05 ...............Four in a Bed 17:15....Come Dine with Me 20:00........Richard III: The Unseen Story 21:00.................Car S.O.S 22:00................Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners 23:10...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:10................. Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 01:05......Shameless USA
08:45................... Jelly Jamm 09:00..................... LazyTown 09:30................................ Dora and Friends 10:00 .................. SpongeBob Squarepants 15:00.......................... The Spy Next Door
10:18 .................. SpongeBob Squarepants
16:50........ Channel 4 News
10:35 .........................The Dog Rescuers
17:10 .............Richard III: The Return of the King
11:00 ...................... The Hotel Inspector
20:00............ Great Canal Journeys
12:00 ...................... The Hotel Inspector
21:00.... Indian Summers
12:55......................... Disney’s Phenomenon
22:00............. Gogglebox
15:20 ............The Borrowers 17:00 ................. A Cinderella Story 18:50.................... 5 News Weekend 18:55..... Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life 23:00................. Breaking Dawn: Part 1 01:15......................Brüno
21:00.............. Alex Cross 23:05 ............... Scream 4 01:10 .........Super Casino
06:00.... The Hour of Power 07:00......... Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old? 08:00 ..........Dog the Bounty Hunter 09:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 .................... WWE Raw 12:00 ............Harrow: A Very British School 13:00 .............Chris and Wes: Let’s Do This 13:30 ............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 14:30 .............. The Real A&E 15:00 ...........Modern Family 17:00...................Moone Boy 17:30............. The Simpsons 18:00 .......... About a Boy 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 19:00 ........... Wild Things 20:00........ The Simpsons 21:00......... Hawaii Five-0 22:00 ...NCIS: Los Angeles 00:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0
07:10................ Three Men in Another Boat
06:00 ... SNF: Match Choice
08:00....................... Top Gear
07:45............. Football Gold
09:00 .......................Top Gear
08:00.... Football’s Greatest
10:00 .................Trawlermen
08:30....................... Football’s Greatest
11:00 ........ Storage Hunters 11:30 ........ Storage Hunters 12:00 ........ Storage Hunters 12:30 ........ Storage Hunters 13:00 ........ Storage Hunters 13:30 ........ Storage Hunters 14:00 ........ Storage Hunters 14:30 ........ Storage Hunters
07:30............. Football Gold
09:00 .................. The Sunday Supplement 10:30....... Goals on Sunday 12:30.................... Ford Super Sunday 15:30 ...................Ford Super Sunday
19:00... Storage Hunters
18:55...............Sky Sports Originals
20:00 ................Top Gear
19:55................. Football
22:40 ..... Mock the Week
22:15 ......... Ford Football Special
23:20 ......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 00:20 ......Have I Got a Bit More News for You
23:45... Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final 00:15 .................Football
01:25 ... Storage Hunters
00:45 ........Football Gold
01:50 ... Storage Hunters
01:00... Goals on Sunday
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Off Their Rockers ITV1, 19.30
This week Royston invents the ultimate mobile phone case, Paul tests out the world’s most powerful leaf blower and Seb steals flowers from a funeral. Britain’s most fearless and fun loving pensioners reunite to unleash their own brand of mischief and mayhem on the unsuspecting public, in the third series of hidden camera show Off Their Rockers. Celebrating the mantra that you truly are only as old as you feel, these cheeky OAPs hit the streets of Britain with misbehaviour in mind, playing a series of light hearted pranks and carefully crafted stunts. Hilarity ensues as their outrageous antics play out, and one thing’s for sure, the Rockers will always have the last laugh. With cast ages spanning 63 to 86, all of the old favourites are back, with a few new faces thrown into the mix.
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W C c h o i ce
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TV Guide
The Mafia with Trevor McDonald
20th March -26th March 2015
M o n d a y
ITV1, 21.00
“We’re brothers. This is the whole thing. We kiss each other on the lips, we kiss each other on both cheeks, we give each other hugs, we baptise each other’s kids. And the next day they’re shooting you in the back of the head. As crazy as it seems, I love the life. Along with a lot of other people who accepted those rules and lost love ones.” Mikey Scars Trevor McDonald embarks on an eye-opening journey inside the secretive world of the American Mafia, gaining unprecedented access to people who have experienced first-hand, the money, glamour and violence of the United States’ most famous organised crime network. In this two-part documentary series, Trevor delves into the lives of people with a fascinating story to tell, some of whom have never appeared on television before. Trevor reveals a new and unique picture of a world that has often been glamorised in both film and TV drama. After spending three months travelling across New York, Miami, Philadelphia and Southern California, Trevor hears detailed accounts of life in the Mafia as he meets major figures at home, at work and in bars, as well as on the streets where they operated which, for some of them, were the scene of shocking acts of violence. But, as Trevor learns from those closest to them, huge wealth and notoriety have come at a cost to their families. Trevor begins his journey in Queens, New York, where he meets John Alite, widely known as “The Sheriff”. John grew up in the neighbourhood and became a killer in an area nicknamed Death Haven. He says: “There were constant murders here, constant rivalries between different guys in the streets, different mob families. So we would kill almost at will, as someone given a beating.” The mafia was built on fear and intimidation. For a man like John rising up through the ranks would depend on a willingness to carry out orders, however brutal. In the 1980s and 1990s Alite worked for John Gotti Senior, who was the Godfather of the Gambino crime family, the most powerful and feared mobsters in America. John’s first hit was to kill a local drug dealer and he explains to Trevor how he lured him into a car and shot him in the back of the head twice. John says: “I don’t like to use the word pride, but at the time that’s what I was thinking. I’m going to take pride in what I do and I’m going to do it good. We wanted the public and more so, the street guys and his brother-in-law to understand. You do something you’re not told and you disobey our laws and our rules, there is no negotiating. You’re going to be killed.” The godfathers maintain their control by relying on men like John to kill on command. But their loyalty often turns into betrayal with
06:00...................... Breakfast 09:15 ............... Heir Hunters 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45................. Fake Britain 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ......................The Edge 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45 ..............Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 16:15 ...........................Flog It! 17:15................ Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30 ............. Inside Out 20:00 ............ EastEnders 20:30 .......... What Britain Wants - Something to Hope For 21:00 .............New Tricks 22:00... BBC News at Ten 22:45 ......Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 23:30 ........... The Graham Norton Show 00:15................Presumed Innocent
06:05 ....................Perfection 07:35 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming 08:20 ........Countryside 999 09:05 .... Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 10:05 ......Helicopter Heroes Down Under 10:35............................... Click 11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00....... The Daily Politics 13:00.............................. Coast 13:15 .... Cagney and Lacey 14:00 .......The World at War 14:55... Wogan: The Best of 15:40 ..... Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 16:15.. Three Up, Two Down 16:45 ...................... Hi-De-Hi! 17:15... Antiques Roadshow 18:00.............. Eggheads 18:30 ....... Portillo’s State Secrets 19:00.... Racing Legends 20:00............... University Challenge 20:30........ Only Connect 21:00...... Kew on a Plate 22:00.....House of Fools CWce ch oi 22:30 .............Newsnight 23:20 ....... Louis Theroux 00:20 .....Reinventing the Royals
06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 10:55...................... ITV News 11:00............... This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00....... 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00.... ITV News London 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..Coronation Street 20:00...............More Tales From Northumberland with Robson Green 20:30..Coronation Street 21:00....The Mafia with CW Trevor Mcdonald choice 22:00..... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40......... The Jonathan Ross Show 23:45 ........ A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones
gangsters doing deals with the FBI and testifying against their bosses to avoid long prison sentences. John’s boss John Gotti Senior appeared invincible in the 80s, until his most trusted lieutenant broke the code of silence. Trevor then meets Michael Di Leonardo, also known as Mikey Scars, a former high-ranking member of the Gambino crime family. Mikey has single-handedly inflicted more damage on the mafia than anyone else in recent times, testifying against the men he worked with, to save himself from a life behind bars. His evidence consigned 80 of them to prison and he knows only too well the mob, known to its members as Cosa Nostra, will never forgive him. Mikey lives in permanent fear of attack and until recently was in the US Government’s witness protection programme. However, after months of persuasion, he meets Trevor at a hotel in Miami to speak publicly for the first time.
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
2 3 rd 06:00 .................Countdown
06:00............. The Wotwots!
06:45 ..........King of Queens
06:10 .................Igam Ogam
07:10 ......3rd Rock from the Sun
06:20 .............. Fireman Sam
07:35...... 3rd Rock from the Sun
06:30................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:45..................... Peppa Pig
08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
06:50..................... Peppa Pig
08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
07:10.............. Little Princess
09:00 ........................... Frasier
07:35................. Thomas and Friends
09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00........ Undercover Boss Canada 11:00..........Kevin McCloud’s Man Made Home
06:55...................... Pip Ahoy! 07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show
07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:10 .....................Peppa Pig
12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary
08:15..................... Peppa Pig
12:05 ................... Come Dine with Me Abroad
08:30 .....................Peppa Pig
13:05 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun
08:25..................... Peppa Pig 08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas
M a rc h 06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:25 ............................. Psych 07:10...................Emmerdale 07:40..... Coronation Street 08:40 ................ Dinner Date 09:40............... Catchphrase 10:25............................. Psych 11:20.................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:40 .....Coronation Street 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed and Famous! 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed! 20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ...................... Mom 22:00 ...... Celebrity Juice 22:50 ....... Scary Movie 4
06:15 .....................Babylon 5 07:00 ................ Doctor Who 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00.......................... The Bill 11:00.................. Traffic Cops 12:00 ......................Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 13:00 .............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 14:00...............Tipping Point 15:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 16:00................Escape to the Country 17:00 ................ Doctor Who 18:00 ............ Road Patrol Australia 19:00 ................ Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00..... Motorway Cops 21:00 ..... The Call Centre 22:00 ........ The Catherine Tate Show
08:55 ....Location, Location, Location
07:00 ........ Storage Hunters
06:00............. Football Gold 07:00..................... WWE Raw 08:00....... Goals on Sunday 09:00................ Ford Football Special 10:30 .......Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final 11:00 ........................ Football 12:00 .Sky Sports Originals 13:00 .............FL72 - Review 14:00 .......Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final 14:30 ........................ Football 15:00 ............... Ford Football Special 16:30 ............. Football Gold 17:00 .........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 17:30 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 18:30.............. Sky Sports Originals 19:25 ..... Living for Sport Awards 19:30 ................... Netball Superleague
14:10 .................Countdown
09:00 ...................Tickety Toc
15:00 ......... Deal or No Deal
09:15........ The Wright Stuff
16:00 ................... Come Dine with Me
11:10...................... The Hotel Inspector
17:00............... Four in a Bed
12:10... 5 News Lunchtime
06:00 .....Nothing to Declare: Australia
17:30.................... Coach Trip
12:15.... Costa Del Casualty: Benidorm ER
07:00 .. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew
18:30 .............. Hollyoaks
13:15 ........Home and Away
19:00 ..................Channel 4 News
13:45 .................Neighbours
08:00............ Emergency with Angela Griffin
14:15............................... NCIS
09:00........ NCIS: Los Angeles
20:00 ............ Dispatches
15:15....... Nightmare at the End of the Hall
10:00 ........NCIS: Los Angeles
17:00 ..................5 News at 5
13:00 ........NCIS: Los Angeles
17:30 .................Neighbours
15:00 ...............Harrow: A Very British School
18:00 ....... The Simpsons
21:00..... Britain’s Benefit Tenants 22:00..................... Raised by Wolves 22:30 ............. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:35 ............ 24 Hours in A and E 00:30 .............. The Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 01:25................. The Fairy Jobmother USA
18:00.......................Home and Away 18:30...... 5 News Tonight 19:00............. The Gadget Show 20:00...................... Police Interceptors 21:00................. Gotham 22:00 .................... Person of Interest
11:00 .................Hawaii Five-0
16:00 .........................Futurama 17:00 ............... The Simpsons 17:30......................... Futurama 18:30.......... The Simpsons 20:00 ........Modern Family 21:00 .............. Moone Boy 21:30 ....................... Arrow 22:30...................... Critical
22:55.... Tears of the Sun
23:30 ...NCIS: Los Angeles
01:00......... Super Casino
01:20 ...........Hawaii Five-0
07:25 ..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:10 .......................Top Gear 10:00 ........ Storage Hunters 11:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 12:00 .......................Top Gear 14:00........ Storage Hunters 14:30 .......... Sin City Motors 15:30 ........ Storage Hunters 16:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 .......................Top Gear 19:00 ... Storage Hunters 21:00 ..... Mock the Week 22:20 .Would I Lie to You? 23:00 ........................... QI 23:40....................Would I Lie to You? 00:15 .... 8 Out of 10 Cats 00:45.... Storage Hunters 01:15.Lizard Lick Towing 01:40...... Mock the Week
10:00.. Come Dine with Me 11:05 ....................The Quiller Memorandum 13:10....................Time Team 15:20 .....A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 16:20......A Place in the Sun 17:25 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 17:55.. Come Dine with Me 19:00... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00................. Location, Location, Location 22:00..........Big Fat Gypsy Weddings 23:05......... Embarrassing Bodies 00:05................. Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
29 CW
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Vic And Bob’s House Of Fools BBC2, 22.00
In the penultimate instalment of Vic and Bob’s House of Fools, Vic and Bob are struggling to find a plot for the episode. When a letter arrives from the White House announcing a Presidential visit, things start to look more promising. But can the House Of Fools really pass for an average British household? Beef (Matt Berry) brings over his truth telling turban for everyone to try on but it holds a shocking surprise for all the cast. Meanwhile, a health inspector threatens to close down Julie’s Bistro when Bosh (Dan Skinner) unwittingly reveals the state of the kitchen.
CW 30
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TV Guide
20th March -26th March 2015
T uesd a y 06:00 ...................... Breakfast
06:20 ....................Perfection
09:15 ............... Heir Hunters
07:05 ....................Perfection
10:00 ..............Homes Under the Hammer
07:50 ............................ Flog it! Trade Secrets
11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming
08:20.........Countryside 999
11:45 ................. Fake Britain 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00...................... BBC News at One
06:00............ Good Morning Britain 08:30 ........................ Lorraine 09:25................... The Jeremy Kyle Show
09:05............... Your Home in Their Hands
10:30 .............. This Morning
10:05 ......Helicopter Heroes Down Under
11:00 .............. This Morning
10:35..................... HARDtalk
10:55 ...................... ITV News 12:30............ Loose Women
13:40................. BBC London News
11:00 .....................BBC News
13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather
13:45..........................Doctors
11:30 ........BBC World News
14:00 .............. Judge Rinder
12:00....... The Daily Politics 13:00 ............................. Coast
15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal
13:15...................... The Super League Show
16:00 ................................1000 Heartbeats
14:00 .......The World at War
17:00 ....................The Chase
14:55 .. Wogan: The Best of
18:00 ................ ITV News London
14:15 ......................The Edge 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 ..............Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 16:15........................... Flog It! 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00............... BBC News at Six 18:30 ........... BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30 ............ EastEnders 20:00 ............. Holby City 21:00.......Ordinary Lies
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ch oi ce
15:40..... Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 16:15 ...................... Three Up, Two Down 16:45 ...................... Hi-De-Hi! 17:15 ........................Antiques Roadshow 18:00 .............. Eggheads 18:30 ....... Portillo’s State Secrets 19:00 ... The Great British Bake Off Easter Masterclass 20:00 .....Back in Time for Dinner 21:00 .........Dara and Ed’s Big Adventure 22:00...................Nurse
CW
ch oi ce
22:00 ............... BBC News at Ten
01:20 .............. BBC News
19:30........................ River Monsters 20:00 ...............Midsomer Murders 22:40...........................On Assignment Rageh Omaar presents the in-depth current affairs programme with worldwide reports from ITV News correspondents. Rageh Omaar is in Lithuania, where tensions are high over Russia’s involvement in the Ukrainian conflict amid concerns that Lithuania could become a target for Russian aggression. Nina Nannar visits San Francisco, a city ravaged by the AIDs epidemic three decades ago, to see how they are leading the global fight to eradicate the disease and ‘Get to Zero’. Geraint Vincent travels to Turkey to meet stars of the lavish soap operas which have become ‘must watch’ TV across Southern Europe and the Middle East.
23:10...............ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights
22:45 ..........Call Security 01:15 ..... Weather for the Week Ahead
19:00............ Emmerdale
22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather
22:25 ........... BBC London News 23:35....... A Serious Man
18:30 .........ITV News and Weather
22:30..............Newsnight 00:20...... Italy Unpacked 01:20...... This is BBC Two
00:10.................. Carry on Follow That Camel 01:40............ Jackpot247
y
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
2 4 t h 06:00................. Countdown
06:00............. The Wotwots!
06:45 ..........King of Queens
06:10................. Igam Ogam
07:10 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun
06:20.............. Fireman Sam
07:35...............3rd Rock from the Sun
06:30 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:45 .....................Peppa Pig
08:00.........Everybody Loves Raymond
06:50 .....................Peppa Pig
08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond
07:10............. Little Princess
09:00............................ Frasier
07:35 ..........................Thomas and Friends
09:30............................ Frasier 10:00......... Undercover Boss Canada 11:00..........Kevin McCloud’s Man Made Home
06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy! 07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show
07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:10 .....................Peppa Pig
12:00.......... Channel 4 News Summary
08:15 .....................Peppa Pig
12:05......... Come Dine with Me Abroad
08:30 .....................Peppa Pig
13:05 .....A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10 .................Countdown 15:00 ......... Deal or No Deal 16:00. Come Dine with Me 17:00 ...............Four in a Bed 17:30 ....................Coach Trip 18:00........ The Simpsons
08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas
m a rc h 06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:25 ............................. Psych 07:10 ..................Emmerdale 07:40 .....Coronation Street 08:40 ................ Dinner Date 09:40 ............... Catchphrase 10:25............................. Psych 11:20.................. Royal Pains 12:10.................. Emmerdale 12:40 .....Coronation Street 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ........ Hell’s Kitchen 22:00... Ibiza Weekender 23:00 .................. Tricked 00:00 .......Two and a Half Men
06:15 .....................Babylon 5 07:00 ................ Doctor Who 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00 ......................Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 13:00 .............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 14:00 ..............Tipping Point 15:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 16:00....................... Escape to the Country 17:00................ Doctor Who 18:00 ............ Road Patrol Australia 19:00 ................ Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00............ Traffic Cops 21:00............ Paranormal Witness 22:00.................... Grimm 23:00..... Motorway Cops
08:55 ....Location, Location, Location
06:00....Nothing to Declare: Australia
07:00........... Storage Hunters 07:25............ Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:10.......................... Top Gear 10:00........... Storage Hunters 11:00 .......Lizard Lick Towing 12:00 ..........................Top Gear 14:00 ...........Storage Hunters 14:30 .............Sin City Motors 15:30 ...........Storage Hunters 16:00....... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 ..........................Top Gear 19:00...... Storage Hunters 19:30.Storage Hunters UK 20:00 ......................... QI XL 22:00 ...............Ross Noble 23:00 .............................. QI 23:40 .Would I Lie to You? 00:15........8 Out of 10 Cats 00:45 ..... Storage Hunters 01:10 .. Lizard Lick Towing 01:40 ...............Ross Noble
06:00 ............. Football Gold 06:45 ............. WWE Preview 07:00 ...WWE SmackDown! 08:00........ Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 09:00......... Barclays Premier League Review 10:00............. FL72 - Review 11:00 ....Football’s Greatest 11:30 .........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 12:00 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 13:00......... Barclays Premier League Review 14:00 .............FL72 - Review 15:00.............. Football Gold 16:00........ Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 17:00 .........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 17:30 ....Football’s Greatest 18:00.... Barclays Premier League Review 18:55.. Football’s Greatest 19:25...... Living for Sport Awards
11:10...................... The Hotel Inspector 12:10........................... 5 News Lunchtime
07:00.............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew
20:00 ......... Burger Bar to Gourmet Star
13:15 ........Home and Away
08:00......... Emergency with Angela Griffin
13:45................. Neighbours
09:00...... NCIS: Los Angeles
21:00 ................One Born Every Minute
14:15............................... NCIS
11:00...............Hawaii Five-0
15:15................ Final Verdict
13:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles
17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours
15:00............ Harrow: A Very British School
23:00 .............First Dates 00:00 ..... Pokerstars.Com European Poker Tour 00:55 ..........KOTV Boxing Weekly 01:20....................Cycling
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13:10................... Time Team 15:20 .....A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 17:25 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 17:55.. Come Dine with Me 19:00... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 22:00.....NHS: £2 Billion a Week and Counting 23:10...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:10................. Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 01:10.............. Come Dine with Me
09:15........ The Wright Stuff
19:00 .... Channel 4 News
22:00 ..................... Teens
11:05....... The Wizard of Oz
09:00 ...................Tickety Toc
12:15 ..................GPs: Behind Closed Doors
18:30 .............. Hollyoaks
10:00.. Come Dine with Me
18:00.... Home and Away
16:00..................... Futurama
18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight
16:30 ..................... Futurama
19:00 ......................Police Interceptors
17:00..............The Simpsons
20:00.................Costa Del Casualty: Benidorm ER
18:30........ The Simpsons
21:00................. Breaking the Law 22:00... Aidan: The Rarest Boy in the World
17:30..................... Futurama 20:00............... The Flash 21:00 ...................Critical 22:00 .................. Forever 23:00........ Hawaii Five-0
23:00..................The Vow
00:00....NCIS: Los Angeles
01:05 .........Super Casino
01:00....NCIS: Los Angeles
Nurse BBC2, 22.00
Graham’s mood has lifted as he tells Liz about his new girlfriend, but his mother disapproves of the new love interest - especially when items start to go missing. Liz tries to encourage introverted Billy to cook, but he struggles with his OCD tendencies. Liz is later treated to a music master class by manic ex-rocker Ray and heartbroken elderly rake Herbert opens up to Liz about his inability to keep his libido going which is a terrible blow for a man like him. Paul Whitehouse stars in Nurse, a poignant character comedy drama. Whitehouse plays eight different characters whose lives are connected by Liz, an overstretched Community Mental Health Nurse played by Esther Coles.
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W C c h o i ce
Ordinary Lies BBC1, 21.00
Episode two tells the story of young, party-loving Tracy Shawcross, JS Motors’ receptionist (pictured centre). Yearning for a luxurious lifestyle of designer clothes and glamour, Tracy is determined to find a way out of her mundane life. She believes she has found the answer when she starts a relationship with local DJ, Jimmy. When he offers an allexpenses-paid trip to the Caribbean for her and fellow receptionist Viv, it appears the pair have finally got the chance to sample the lavish lifestyle they crave. Lying to not arouse suspicion, Tracy and Viv tell everyone that they are flying to Ibiza for a week of partying. In reality, they board a plane to the Dominican Republic where flights and accommodation have been arranged by Jimmy. However, upon their arrival, it’s soon revealed that there is more than meets the eye about the idyllic getaway.
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www.canarianweekly.com
TV Guide
Hillary Clinton: The Power Of Women
20th March -26th March 2015
Wed n esd a
BBC2, 21.00
Twenty years ago, while still First Lady, Hillary Clinton made a ground-breaking speech in Beijing setting down a challenge to world leaders: to treat women’s rights as human rights. Since then, a new generation of women, including Hillary herself, have risen to some of the top jobs in global politics. But 20 years on from that famous speech, has anything really changed for women? In candid interviews, Clinton along with her predecessors as Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice and Madeleine Albright talk about the commitment they made to improve women’s rights – and the struggles they went through to make a difference. The programme also hears from female politicians and campaigners from across the globe who have been making strides for change in their own countries. From the battle to give girls a right to education in Afghanistan, to preventing the growth of sex trafficking in India, the programme hears from the women who dare to speak out for their gender. In Liberia women helped bring an end to the civil war by making waves in their community. Organiser of the protests Leymah Gbowee reflects back on the horror of women of living in a country where rape is used as a tool of war; and how the women’s non-violent protest forced change and Liberia ended up with Africa’s first woman president. The film also reveals the shocking extent of abuses in some countries and conflict zones and asks what Western politicians should – and should not - do to promote women’s rights and equality. And as the US waits to hear if Hillary Clinton will make a second attempt at the US presidency, the film will assess how much progress has been made since Clinton’s speech and why there’s been a backlash in some areas.
06:00 ...................... Breakfast
06:15 ....................Perfection
09:15 ............... Heir Hunters
07:45 .Flog it! Trade Secrets
06:00............ Good Morning Britain
10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer
08:15 ........Countryside 999
08:30.......................... Lorraine
09:00 .............Natural World
11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming
10:00 ......Helicopter Heroes Down Under
09:25................... The Jeremy Kyle Show
11:45................. Fake Britain
10:30....................... See Hear
12:15.............. Bargain Hunt
11:00 .....................BBC News
13:00...... BBC News at One
11:30 .......The Daily Politics
13:40 ....BBC London News
13:00.......................... Lifeline
13:45 .........................Doctors
13:10 .......... The A to Z of TV Cooking
14:15 ......................The Edge 15:00............... Escape to the Country
13:20..... Cagney and Lacey
15:45.............. Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman
15:00... Wogan: The Best of
16:15 ...........................Flog It!
14:10....... The World at War 15:45 ..............Are You Being Served?
10:30 .............. This Morning 10:55 ...................... ITV News 11:00.............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ................................1000 Heartbeats 17:00 ....................The Chase
17:15 .......................Pointless
16:15 ............. Three Up, Two Down
18:00..... BBC News at Six
16:45...................... Hi-De-Hi!
18:30 .BBC London News
17:15.Antiques Roadshow
19:00........The One Show
18:30 .........ITV News and Weather
18:00 .............. Eggheads
19:00............ Emmerdale
20:00 ........... MasterChef 21:00...........The Billion Dollar Chicken Shop
CW ch oi ce
22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:25. BBC London News 22:45......... A Question of Sport 23:15 ..............The Devil’s Double 00:55...... Weather for the Week Ahead 01:00............... BBC News
18:30....... Portillo’s State Secrets 19:00......Britain’s Got the Builders In 20:00..... The Ladykillers: Pest Detectives 21:00.....Hillary Clinton: CW The Power of Women choice 22:00 ........................... QI 22:30 .............Newsnight 23:20....Dara and Ed’s Big Adventure
18:00................. ITV News London
19:30..............Coronation Street 20:00..............Big Star’s Little Star 21:00.............DCI Banks
22:40................ Pop Gold 23:40 ...... A Night in with Olly Murs 00:40 ........... Jackpot247
CW
BBC1, 21.00
ITV1, 20.00 Big Star’s Little Star continues, as Stephen Mulhern hosts episode 4 of this fun- filled family entertainment show which lifts the lid on celebrities’ lives – through the eyes of their children. Joining him tonight are, Jimmy Bullard and his son, eight year-old Archie, Martin Offiah and his son Tyler, aged eight, and Tricia Penrose and her son Freddy, who is six years old.
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22:00 ..... ITV News at Ten and Weather
Billion Dollar Chicken Shop: The Colonel’s c h o i ce Workers
Big Star’s Little Star
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Two thirds of KFC’s UK 24,000 strong workforce strong are aged under 25. For some it’s their first job after school, for others its part-time work to see them through college or a chosen career path to aim for the top. But what is it really like to work inside a fast food chain giant like KFC? In tonight’s episode, the reality of working on the frontline of the fast food industry is shown in detail. While MD Martin faces a show down on Radio 5 live to defend working in what is perceived by many as a lowly place to work, the cameras follow his workers in Essex at 5am as they begin their daily regime of scraping away dried fat and cleaning the dreaded toilets. In Oxley in the West Midlands, a new store opens and the film follows the recruitment of the team of 50 staff to run the store. Despite having marketing qualifications, 19-year-old Travis gets his first paid job at Oxley and sheds the stretchers in his ears, only to realise that intensive shifts on the fries station, or mop in hand cleaning tasks aren’t for him. And Kim, who has an abundance of GCSE’s and A Levels and whose only other job was working as an Elf in Santa’s Grotto, is trained up ready for the front till, but misses the opening day after being bitten by a dog. The programme also follows KFC’s attempts to tackle the huge amounts of cooked chicken which is thrown away on a daily. In Glasgow, restaurant manager Mark struggles to keep the homeless away from scavenging in his bins in search of waste food. And in Brixton, a pilot scheme is trialled, as Charity Worker Mala agrees to take home all waste chicken for her to feed the disadvantaged from the community. Meanwhile in Manchester, Beth panics as her store faces an impromptu internal inspection and she has to quickly get rid of her nose ring and defuse a customer complaint before the inspector sees.
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
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2 5 t h
06:00................. Countdown
06:00............. The Wotwots!
06:45 .................................King of Queens
06:10................. Igam Ogam
07:10 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun
06:30 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat
07:35 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun
06:45 .....................Peppa Pig
08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!
08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show
06:20.............. Fireman Sam
06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 07:10 ............. Little Princess
09:00 ........................... Frasier
07:35 ..........................Thomas and Friends
09:30 ........................... Frasier
07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland
10:00 ........ Undercover Boss Canada
08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom
11:00 .........Kevin McCloud’s Man Made Home
08:10 .....................Peppa Pig
12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary
08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus
12:05 ................... Come Dine with Me Abroad
08:45.. Bananas in Pajamas
13:05...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun
09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff
14:10 .................Countdown
12:10... 5 News Lunchtime
15:00......... Deal or No Deal
12:15 ........The Woman with 40 Cats... And Other Pet Hoarders
16:00 ................... Come Dine with Me 17:00 ...............Four in a Bed
08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig
09:00....................Tickety Toc
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06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:25 ............................. Psych 07:10.................. Emmerdale 07:40.................. You’ve Been Framed! 08:40 ................ Dinner Date 09:40 ............... Catchphrase 10:25.............................. Psych 11:20 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:40 ................. You’ve Been Framed! 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00 .......... The Vampire Diaries 22:00................ Hot Fuzz 00:25 ...............Two and a Half Men
06:15 .....................Babylon 5 07:00 ................ Doctor Who 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00........................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00 ......................Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 13:00 .............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 14:00 ..............Tipping Point 15:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 16:00 ...................... Escape to the Country 17:00 ................ Doctor Who 18:00............ Road Patrol Australia 19:00 ................ Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00 ......... Resurrection 21:00 ................... Grimm 22:00 ................ Dynamo: Magician Impossible
08:55.... Location, Location, Location
06:00....Nothing to Declare: Australia
07:00 ...........Storage Hunters
06:00.............. Football Gold 07:00....... WWE Experience 08:00 .........Game Changers 09:00 ..........SPFL Round Up 09:30.................. The Premier League Years 11:30............. Football Gold 12:00 ....Football Freestyler 12:30 .........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 13:00 ..........SPFL Round Up 13:30...................The Premier League Years 17:30.......... SPFL Round Up 18:00 ........... Boots ‘n’ All 18:55.. Football’s Greatest 19:25..... Living for Sport Awards 19:30 .................Football 22:00..... Living for Sport Awards 22:05.. Football’s Greatest 22:35..... SPFL Round Up 23:05 ........... Boots ‘n’ All
13:15........ Home and Away 13:45................. Neighbours
06:30....Nothing to Declare: Australia
07:25 ............ Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:10.......................... Top Gear
14:15... NCIS: New Orleans
10:00........... Storage Hunters
18:30 .............. Hollyoaks
15:15............ Too Late to Say Goodbye
12:00 ..........................Top Gear
19:00 ..................Channel 4 News
08:00..........Emergency with Angela Griffin
17:00 ..................5 News at 5
09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles
20:00........Three in a Bed
17:30 .................Neighbours
11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0
18:00.... Home and Away
21:00..................24 Hours in A and E
13:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles
18:30..... 5 News Tonight
15:00 ............Harrow: A Very British School
22:00..............First Dates
20:00 ........... GPs: Behind Closed Doors
16:00..................... Futurama
21:00.......OAPs Behaving Badly
17:30 ..................... Futurama
18:00 ....... The Simpsons
23:00 ................One Born Every Minute 00:00.................. The Kids Who Can’t Stay Awake 00:55.......... Mary Portas: Secret Shopper 01:50...............I Love You, Beth Cooper
11:05 ....... Drums Along the Mohawk 13:10................... Time Team 15:20 .....A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 17:25 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 17:55.. Come Dine with Me 19:00... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 19:55 ...... Grand Designs 21:00 .Tiny House Nation 22:00 ..... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:00 ..... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:05 ................ Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 01:00 ............. Come Dine with Me
11:10 ...................... The Hotel Inspector
07:00.............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew
17:30 ....................Coach Trip
10:00.. Come Dine with Me
19:00.....Trauma Doctors
22:00........Slaughtered at the Murder Hotel
17:00............. The Simpsons 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 20:00 ........... Wild Things
11:00 .......Lizard Lick Towing 14:00 ...........Storage Hunters 14:30............. Sin City Motors 15:30........... Storage Hunters 16:00....... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 ..........................Top Gear 19:00...... Storage Hunters 19:30...................... Storage Hunters UK 21:00 ......................... QI XL 22:00 .Would I Lie to You?
21:00... Lethal Weapon 3
22:40 ....Alan Davies as Yet Untitled
00:00...Holiday Love Rats Exposed
23:20...................... Stella
23:40 .Would I Lie to You?
00:20 ...NCIS: Los Angeles
00:20 .......8 Out of 10 Cats
01:00..........Super Casino
01:20 ...NCIS: Los Angeles
00:55 ..... Storage Hunters
23:00........... Born to Kill?
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DCI Banks ITV1, 21.00
Geoff is now a marked man. Banks puts him and his daughter Evie under watch at an anonymous hotel while he widens the search for gunman Mullen. Annie and Ken use some ingenuity to procure an address for Mullen’s former girlfriend but he has just left when Banks bursts in. Mullen follows Evie’s boyfriend to the hotel where he smokes out Annie, Geoff and Evie by setting off the fire alarm. Banks suspects loan shark Hargreaves is behind the hit and so despite having nothing concrete on him manages to extend his stay in the cell. The team use a combination of forensics and CCTV to trace Mullen to a disused match factory, but he once again evades them. They pursue him to a viaduct where he is cornered by Banks who talks him down and persuades him to hand over the gun. Banks works out that the phone Anaan had in her locker actually belonged to her husband. Through diligent digging they discover Raheel met Marcus during Lewis Hargreaves’ trial, where Marcus was giving evidence. Raheel breaks down and explains all to Banks.
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TV Guide
The Truth About Calories
20th March -26th March 2015
T h ursd a
BBC1, 21.00
Calories are a national obsession - the language of many diets and healthy eating plans, the numbers stamped on every packet of food we buy. But are they really worth counting? To find out, Dr Chris van Tulleken runs a unique and surprising set of tests and experiments to blow away the calorie cliches and get to the truth. To investigate how far we can trust the calorie numbers on our food, he takes nine randomly selected supermarket foods to an independent testing laboratory - and discovers that only one of the labels is accurate. The calorie count of all the other foods is up to 10 percent above or below the number on the packet. Next, three Glasgow families take Chris’s Big Calorie Challenge, to find the best way to burn the calories we eat. They tuck in to a 600 calorie fry-up for breakfast, then all spend the morning doing very different things. Surprisingly, our calorie-burning champions are not the family who went for a hard workout at the gym, but the one that stayed home doing the housework. And even sitting on the sofa doing nothing can burn 600 calories - but only if you’re tall! Finally, Chris learns some kitchen secrets and manages to strip an impressive 360 calories out of a luxury meal of steak, chips and a cream pudding - without changing a single ingredient. This programme shows how we can all be healthier by eating smarter - without taking the joy out of food.
Inside No. 9: La Couchette
06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15................ Heir Hunters 10:00...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...........The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45 ................. Fake Britain 12:15.............. Bargain Hunt 13:00...... BBC News at One 13:40.... BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ......................The Edge 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45...............Holiday of My Lifetime with Len Goodman 16:15........................... Flog It! 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30.BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30 ............ EastEnders 20:00 ........... MasterChef 21:00.............The Truth About Calories
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22:00.... BBC News at Ten
BBC2, 22.00
22:25.BBC London News
The critically-acclaimed and award-winning BBC Two anthology series written by and starring Steve Pemberton & Reece Shearsmith returns for a new season of six films. On board the sleeper from Paris to Bourg St. Maurice, a motley collection of passengers try to get a quiet night’s sleep as the train makes its way across France. But as the sleeping compartment fills up, the chances of that begin to look highly unlikely. In Deuxième Classe, everyone can hear you scream...
22:45 ...... Question Time 23:45 ..............This Week
06:20 ....................Perfection 07:50...Flog it! Trade Secrets 08:20 ........Countryside 999 09:05 .................Great British Garden Revival 10:05 ......Helicopter Heroes Down Under 10:35 ..................... HARDtalk 11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00 .......The Daily Politics 13:00 .......... The A to Z of TV Cooking 13:10 .... Cagney and Lacey 14:00 .................Animal Park 15:00... Wogan: The Best of 15:45 ..............Are You Being Served? 16:15 ...................... Three Up, Two Down 16:45...................... Hi-De-Hi! 17:15.Antiques Roadshow 18:00.............. Eggheads 18:30........ Portillo’s State Secrets 19:00 .....Britain’s Got the Builders In 20:00 ....... Natural World 21:00 ............... Banished W 22:00...........Inside No 9 Coi ch ce 22:30..............Newsnight 23:20............... Eat to Live Forever with Giles Coren
06:00............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 10:55...................... ITV News 11:00.............. This Morning 12:30............ Loose Women 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00....... 1000 Heartbeats 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00.. ITV News London 18:30......... ITV News and Weather 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 ..................Tonight 20:00 ........... Emmerdale 20:30.....Double Decker W C Driving School choice 21:00 ......The Triplets are Coming! 22:00 ..... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40.... The Late Debate 23:10....ICC Cricket World Cup Highlights
Double Decker Driving School ITV1, 20.30 This time, single mum Claire Carter is approaching the end of the course. She nearly quit after an eventful first week, which involved a close call on a zebra crossing and near head-on collision. Claire’s pressing on, determined to show her teenage children that anything is possible. But if she is to be granted her all-important driving test she has to prove she can control not only her ten-tonne vehicle, but her nerves as well. As Claire prepares herself for a progress check, training officer Phil Soper says: “Claire is a nervous person. My plan is to put her under pressure today so when she does get to test it flows quite nicely.” But Claire is piling the pressure on herself. She says: “Passing the test would mean everything to me personally because it’s a challenge. I could finish decorating my house, save to take my kids on holiday. To fail now, I’d be absolutely devastated.” Meanwhile, for fellow trainee Manuel Daniel becoming a bus driver would make him a hero in his household - as his seven-year-old son loves buses.
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TV Guide
20th March - 26th March 2015
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2 6 t h 06:00 .................Countdown
06:00 ............. The Wotwots!
06:45 ..........King of Queens
06:10 .................Igam Ogam
07:10.............. 3rd Rock from the Sun
06:20 .............. Fireman Sam
07:30 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond
06:30 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:45 .....................Peppa Pig 06:50..................... Peppa Pig 06:55...................... Pip Ahoy! 07:10............. Little Princess
09:00............................ Frasier
07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show
09:30........................... Frasier
07:35 .................Thomas and Friends
10:00..................... Richard III 13:00.......... Channel 4 News Summary 13:05......A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun
07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig
14:10 .................Countdown
08:25 .....................Peppa Pig
15:00 ......... Deal or No Deal
08:35......... Toby’s Travelling Circus
16:00................... Come Dine with Me 17:00................Four in a Bed
08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas
17:30 ....................Coach Trip
09:00 ...................Tickety Toc
18:00........ The Simpsons
09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff
18:30.............. Hollyoaks 19:00.... Channel 4 News
11:10 ...................... The Hotel Inspector
20:00.............. Richard III
12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime
21:00.................Coalition Feature-length political drama by acclaimed writer James Graham. Informed by extensive research, Coalition charts the emotionally wrought, politicallycharged and frenzied days in 2010 that led to Nick Clegg’s astonishing rise from rank outsider to the man who would decide the fate of the country. As he took to the podium for the UK’s first ever televised leader’s debate, Nick Clegg had been an MP for just five years and was the new kid on the Westminster block. Living in the shadow of Gordon Brown and David Cameron his Lib Dem party was relegated to the side lines. But as he finished his impassioned speech something powerful had emerged... Something which awoke a British public desperate for change, and threatened to shake the current political system to its core: Clegg-mania. The election failed to produce a majority and left Cameron and Brown courting one man...
22:35 ..... Britain’s Benefit Tenants 23:35................ Raised by Wolves
12:15 ............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:15 ........Home and Away 13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15 ............................... NCIS 15:15 .............. Montana Sky 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away 18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight 19:00.............. The Classic Car Show 20:00 ................The Killer Next Door: Countdown to Murder
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06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:25............................. Psych 07:10.................. Emmerdale 07:40..... Coronation Street 08:10 ................. You’ve Been Framed! 08:40 ................ Dinner Date 09:40 ............... Catchphrase 10:25............................. Psych 11:20 .................. Royal Pains 12:10...................Emmerdale 12:40 .....Coronation Street 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed! 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00............... Two and a Half Men W 21:00..............Scorpion Coi ch ce 22:00 ...... Celebrity Juice
06:10 .....................Babylon 5 07:00 ................ Doctor Who 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00...... Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 13:00 .............Choccywoccydoodah: Starstruck 14:00...............Tipping Point 15:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 16:00 ...............Escape to the Country 17:00................ Doctor Who 18:00............ Road Patrol Australia 19:00.Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00 ................... Grimm 21:00 ......... Resurrection 22:00 ..... One Born Every Minute
08:55....................... Location, Location, Location
06:00... Nothing to Declare: Australia
07:00 ........ Storage Hunters
06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00 ...WWE SmackDown! 08:00 .................. Boots ‘n’ All 09:00.... Football’s Greatest 09:30.......... Premier League 100 Club 12:00 .................. Boots ‘n’ All 13:00.....Football’s Greatest 13:30 .......... Premier League 100 Club 14:30.......... Premier League Legends 16:00 .................. Boots ‘n’ All 17:00 ............. Football Gold 17:30 .........Barclays Premier League World 18:00................ Ringside 18:55 ..... Living for Sport Awards 19:00 ..... Premier League Darts 2015 22:30 ..... Living for Sport Awards 22:35 ................ Ringside 23:30........ Football Gold
07:00 ............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew
07:25.......... Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:10 .......................Top Gear
08:00......... Emergency with Angela Griffin
09:00....................... Top Gear
09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles
11:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing
11:00.............. Hawaii Five-0
10:00........ Storage Hunters 12:00 .......................Top Gear
12:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0
14:00 ........ Storage Hunters
13:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles
14:30 .......... Sin City Motors
15:00 ............Harrow: A Very British School
15:30 ........ Storage Hunters
16:00 ..................... Futurama
17:00 .......................Top Gear
17:00 .............The Simpsons 17:30 ..................... Futurama 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 19:00........ The Simpsons
16:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 18:00................ Top Gear 19:00 ... Storage Hunters 20:00...American Pickers
21:00...........Holiday Love Rats Exposed
20:00 .....................Arrow
21:00 ......Have I Got a Bit More News for You
21:00 .................. Forever
22:00........................Suits
22:00........ The Mentalist
22:00 ........... Quiz Nights
23:00........................... QI
23:00 ..... Flintoff: Lord of the Fries
23:40 ...................Would I Lie to You?
23:00... Aidan: The Rarest Boy in the World
10:00.................... Come Dine with Me 11:00 ......................The Nutty Professor 13:10 ...................Time Team 15:20 .....A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 16:20...................... A Place in the Sun 17:25 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 17:55 ................... Come Dine with Me 19:00... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 19:55 ...... Grand Designs 21:00 ...... The Good Wife 22:00 ...........The Hoarder Next Door 23:00 ..... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
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Scorpion ITV2, 21.00
Team Scorpion heads to Mexico when a tech billionaire hires them to rescue his kidnapped daughter. Also, feelings are hurt after Walter gives an interview and fails to acknowledge the other members of the team, on Scorpion. Scorpion is inspired by a true story - its a highoctane drama about eccentric genius Walter O’Brien (played by Elyes Gabel) and his team of brilliant misfits who are the last line of defence against complex, high-tech threats of the modern age. O’Brien’s “Scorpion” team includes Toby Curtis (played by Eddie Kaye Thomas), an expert behaviourist who can read anyone, Happy Quinn (played by Jadyn Wong), a mechanical prodigy; and Sylvestor Dodd (played by Ari Stidham), a statistics guru. Pooling their extensive knowledge to solve mind boggling dramas amazes federal agent Cabe Gallo (played by Robert Patrick), who shares a harrowing history with O’Brien.
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What’s On in Tenerife
Ruta del Agua When: Sunday March 22nd Where: 10.30am Plaza del Espana More details: 922 050 150
20th March -26th March 2015
To coincide with World Water Day, you can enjoy a walking tour of some of Adeje’s most important buildings, valleys, reserves and water sources. This tour will highlight the symbolism and history along with the heritage of Adeje.
Quantum Ensemble This concert features a new approach to classical music. It’s a modern way of interpreting classical music - more flexible and directed to a wider audience. Quantum Ensemble shows take place in a friendly atmosphere in which a direct dialogue with the public is set to place the works in context, through the experiences of musicians. WHEN: 30th April, May 28th WHERE: Auditorio de Tenerife, Santa Cruz MORE DETAILS: www.auditoriodetenerife.com
Dorada Brewery Tour The local beer company opens its doors to unveil the manufacturing process of Dorada beer, from the collection of raw materials to bottling. It’s a guided tour through the facilities explaining each stage of the brewing process. And at the end of the visit you will be invited to a Dorada or two in the Tasting Room. Booking is highly recommended.
When: Every Tuesday Where: Avenida de Ángel Romero in Santa Cruz More info: doradatour.es
Multicultural Craft Market The Tourist Board of Arona invites you to the Multicultural Craft Market on March 28th. There will be a variety of stalls and exhibitions for you to enjoy.
When: Sunday March 28th from 10am to 6pm Where: Cultural Center in Los Cristianos More details: 922 761 600
Tegueste Tour Enjoy the scenery and explore the history of the town of Tegueste through over thirty thematic routes that take place throughout the year. Specialized guides will show you the most beautiful scenery of the town, its historical, artistic and archaeological heritage and, of course, vineyards and everything related to its great wine tradition. There are hiking trails, dramatized routes that will transport you to the past or night routes for a unique experience under the moon.
When: Every Day More Info www.tegueste.org
Tenerife Symphony Orchestra VIOLIN concertos and the symphonic works of Mahler are among the highlights of the 2015 season of the Tenerife Symphony Orchestra, under the leadership of Polish maestro Nesterowicz Michal.
When: Until 26th June Where: Auditorio de Tenerife in Santa Cruz More details: www.ost.es
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Entertainment
20th March - 26th March 2015
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Pitching the perfect show THEY say football is a funny old game, and the same can be said of showbiz. It can be extremely rewarding and, on the flip-side, souldestroying.
Every seasoned entertainer knows what it feels like to have a bad night. It’s awful to be on stage knowing that, no matter what you do, the all-important connection with the audience isn’t happening. The true pro will brush it off and carry on regardless, that showbiz smile planted firmly on his or her face. And, nine times out of 10, perseverance, experience and
talent will win the audience over in the end. Some, however, never seem to have a bad night - and last Saturday
night I had the pleasure of sharing a drink with Michael Leavy Jr, one of the top male vocalists in Tenerife.
PICK OF THE WEEK
SHE has returned! Dee Daniels, the cracker from Cork, is performing in Tenerife again after spending some time in San Francisco, and that’s why she is my Pick Of The Week. Dee is well-known to regular visitors here, and you could probably count on one hand the entertainers who haven’t heard of this wonderfully-zany Irish performer. You are guaranteed a good time, dancing and singing along with Dee’s show. So, 11pm on Friday night is when you will find her at The Irish Rover in San Eugenio - the perfect venue for this extremely popular lady.
This extremely-versatile singer has been visiting Tenerife for years and, before he re-located here permanently a few years ago, he had already established himself and his name. It didn’t take long before work was rolling in as his reputation grew. What makes Michael different and unique is his ability to read an audience, and he rarely gets his music formula wrong. This mix can cover anything, although I would say his comfort zone would be Soul, Motown and Reggae - three styles of music which always seem to engage an audience. It doesn’t end there, though! He has an ability few have and, over the years I have seen Michael work, he is always one of the first, if not the first, to learn new songs. For example; two of the biggest hits of last year, Pharrell Williams’ mega hit Happy and Robin Thicke’s controversial Blurred Lines, had huge success. And Michael was on these songs during their promotional stage - and even before their official release. By the time a song has become popular and
Tramps - a new dawn
THINGS are starting to warm up at Tramps in Starco with the arrival of a new management team. Taking over from previous manager Oliver Fisher, who was involved at the club for 14 years and ran it for the last five, are a new team headed by 33-year-old Richard Lewington (aka Ricardo). He is a 15-year veteran of the nightlife and music industries, and his promotion came internally, having joined Tramps since moving here in 2007. He has worked his way up
after graduating from the photography and marketing sections of the business. Prior to this appointment, Ricardo was a venue manager at Butlins and a correspondent for Mixmag, covering various worldwide
dance-music events. His work has also been published by the BBC, National Geographic, El País - and even by the more popular Canarian Weekly! Ricardo is also a respected DJ, having held a number of residencies
in Madrid and releasing his own tracks. He is joined by 29-yearold assistant manager Edmund Scruggs, who was born and raised in Las Vegas. Ed, who has been immersed in nightlife since day one, brings a wealth of experience to Tramps after working at the prestigious Drai’s nightclub on Las Vegas strip. With these two taking command of Tenerife’s No.1, I’m convinced the club will be brought to a new level, with many positive changes to come!
played to death, Michael is already learning the next big tune. He keeps his set fresh, never plays the same set twice, and he doesn’t sing the songs in the same way a lot of the time. It is a real talent to be able to map a song and its melody after listening to it just a few times - a skill normally held by musicians. It proves that, as a vocalist, he has a full understanding of music and the structure of a song, which is why it takes him no more than an hour to learn a song and get it into the show. And it’s not just the new songs being released that Michael is quick to exploit. He will take on songs nobody else is doing, yet have been around for years. Whetherhey have proved too difficult for others, or contain elements which are off-putting for singers. The art of rap is present in a lot of songs nowadays and this is another string to his bow. Take a song like Aswad’s Shine, in which the rap is made that
little bit more difficult because the words are performed in Patois, the dialect used by Reggae artistes and generally used in speech by Rastafarians. It is something to behold, and audiences are always blown away by Michael’s ability in this field. We talked about all kinds of aspects within the entertainment game, and what shone through was his professionalism. There is no handbook or manual to tell an entertainer how to be a pro, although many can learn from Michael and his work ethic. He never complains, works tirelessly on stage to entertain, and it is always a pleasure to watch and hear Michael Leavy Jr sing. His tone is warm, he has brilliant use of vocal scales within melodies and a repertoire of over 1,000 songs in his musical arsenal. Put all these dynamics together with his perfect pitch and you have a fabulous show, performed by one of the best acts on the Island.
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Wine and Dine
20th March -26th March 2015
La Cava The restaurant is tucked away up a few steps from the harbour car park and has been owned and operated by Chef Ludo since 1979. La Cava is proof that expertise and experience add up to excellence. The restaurant is rusticly decorated - unpretentious and welcoming - with a pleasant terrace and a split-level interior. And the lighting is neither too stark, nor too subtle. By the Harbour, Los Cristianos
Open: Closed Sundays
Call: 922 790 493
Leo’s Italian & Grill Come and taste the fine Italian cuisine served at Leo’s restaurant in Oasis Paserella. Authentic Italian cuisine with a modern twist with a set 3-course daily menu for just 9.95 euros (served until 5.30pm) plus a fantastic selection from the a la carte. You can’t fail to find something that will delight your taste buds. Try the amazing pastas, pizzas, fresh meat or fish and maybe indulge yourself in one of the homemade desserts. C.C. Pasarella, Los Cristianos
Open: daily, 11am - 12am
Call: 922 788 872
The Swan Try our new homemade menu from our new chef Tim, with all your favourites including: fish and chips, roast dinners, lasagne, steak pie, plus daily specials. If there’s anything you fancy t hat’s not on the menu, j ust give us 24hr notice and we will do it for you! Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - 12midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings.
In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos
Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm
Call: 698 396 367
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Wine and Dine
20th March - 26th March 2015
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Lupita Parque de la Reina has a secret - Lupita restaurant is fast becoming the place to eat, and it has a well-deserved reputation. All the usual Mexican specialities are on offer, but from midday until 4pm, check out their 3.95 euro menu. You can have a bowl of soup or garlic bread, main meal (selection of 20) and espresso coffee, which is excellent value for money. Also, 4.95 euro and 5.95 euro menus available all day and all night. Cañada Blanca 2, Parque de la Reina
Open: daily, 12noon - 11.30pm
Call: 677 381 869/645 581 621
Belgabar
Otelo
Belgabar has very quickly become a favourite for diners. Our selective menu includes the finest prime steak, fresh seafood and vegetable dishes and a tropical dining experience not to be missed. There is an extensive wine menu, which includes local produce and a range of international beers. Belgabar menu is popular, so reservations are recommended.
Otelo restaurants serve traditional Spanish cuisine specialising in delicious crispy garlic chicken and Canarian potatoes, plus all the tasty sauces. Try out our Canarian night, with our staff all dressed in national costumes and live Canarian music - at Otelo 1, with its gorgeous mountain views, on Monday night. Or Thursday night at Otelo 2, our beach-front restaurants.
Beachfront the Patch Las Americas, next to Burger King
Otelo I: Baranco Inferño. Otelo II: Fañabe Beach front
Open: 12pm til late
Open: Otelo I: 12noon - 11pm Otelo II: 11am - 11pm
Call: 677 397 204
Call: 922 780 374 / 922 716 342
Leo’s Italian & Grill
Feast fit for a lion LEO’S has been open for just a few months but is already making its mark in the popular Passarella food complex, in Los Cristianos.
On entering, you can’t help but feel comfortable in the modern, stylish and bright interior. Outdoor seating is also available. Cai, the owner and manager, was there to greet us and show us to our table before providing a glass of house red each to sip while perusing the varied menu. Although it is advertised as an ‘Italian & Grill’, it’s not just Pasta and Pizza (although they did look amazing), because there is so much more on offer. For starters, we went for the Focaccia with garlic, tomatoes and a fresh, crispy, rocket salad and stuffed mushrooms. The mushrooms were stuffed with a twist - not the usual sausage meat but instead, a tasty seafood
been in the catering industry for over 11 years, and was trained in hospitality marketing in the Puerto Banus hot spot in Marbella. And we can confirm that he has definitely brought some of the Puerto Banus “Celebrity style” to Tenerife. We also had the pleasure of meeting a couple of the other servers, Jose and Malin. The whole team were polite, efficient and friendly ... what more
mix and topped with melted cheese and a mushroom sauce. For mains, we opted for the Fillet Steak foie gras - one of Cai’s personal recommendations - and the Sole Martini, which was also on the “specials” menu. The fillet steak was as tender as butter, stuffed with tasty foie,
and the sole, topped with prawns and mussels in a cream and dill sauce, was to die for. Both came with options of Canarian potatoes, garlic potatoes or chips, and fresh vegetables or salad. There was also an intriguing range of sauces such as Mexican and Jack Daniels, as well as the tradi-
tional mushroom and pepper for your meats. I was impressed with the range of fish and seafood on the menu because I haven’t seen too many other places in the area with such a selection. After demolishing our food, we had a quick chat with the charismatic Cai. We learned that he had
could you ask for? Hang on, desserts, of course! Leo’s had their own home-made range including Tiramisu, Chocolate caramel pudding and Peach meringue. They are open every day from 11am until midnight and currently have a special threecourse lunch-time menu for just 9.95 euros, with various menu choices available.
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Wine and Dine
20th March -26th March 2015
Oriental Garden
James’ Place
A unique restaurant where you can take a long gastronomic journey through the fascinating Asia. Thailand with its spicy aromas, Japan with the freshest sushi, China with its colour and flavour, and India with their culinary seasonings. Our “Teppan-yaki Room” offers live show cooking a whole thanks to the two steel plates hot to cook food, and business address of our Japanese chef. Quite a spectacle for the eyes and palate.
Newly-refurbished James’s Place just got bigger & better, adding a games room & stylish dining area. The only British bar in La Caleta has launched a new menu along with the ever-popular Sunday Roast & Summer BBQ’s. We just haven’t met you yet! La Caleta
Open: 10am - 10pm
Call: 922 168 139
CC Americas Plaza, Las Americas
Call: 922 796 544
Nutters Full English breakfasts, home-cooked food, home-cooked chips, freshly prepared sandwiches and baguettes. A variety of cakes served with tea or coffee for 4.95 euros, after 3pm everyday. Drinkers welcome! Food served all day, takeaway available.
Middle square, San Blas, near taxi rank
Open: Mon-Fri, 8.30am-6pm. Sat & Sun, 8.30am-5pm
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Lifestyle
20th March - 26th March 2015
The serenity of Santiago
By Vanessa Vee LAST weekend, it was time to board a plane and travel to Santiago de Compostela. WHERE? Exactly! I knew it was in Spanish territory, but I wasn’t sure of its location.
Even though I have lived in this part of the world for over 17 years, it has always been the Canaries or the Balaerics for me. The only times I have ever touched down on the mainland is, literally, on connecting flights, or stop-gaps on Mediterranean cruises. A convenient, earlyevening flight from the South airport was on the cards, and we soon arrived at the local airport in Galicia. The city transfer took just 20 minutes, and to have a close location after a late-landing flight was such a relief. We checked into the four-star Puerto del Caminio hotel and then, immediately, we were on a mission to find food. A fun-packed schedule was in place for us over the weekend so, after sampling a local restaurant’s fare, it was time to retire to our spacious rooms. Santiago is so different from the Canaries, and the b e s t
comparison I can make is with views of the Lake District in sunshine. A lush-green, hilly landscape was our morning scene, and after breakfast it was time to explore. We had many choices, including a catamaran trip, museums, wine trails, churches and, of course, Santiago’s most famous building, the majestic cathedral. But we planned to save all day Sunday for this specific treat. Apparently, the Galicians say that Santiago, rather than a city, is a “big village”. The population is around the 100,000 mark, and with nearly 40,000 students settling in for their academic year, plus thousands of pilgrims walking into town every year, Santiago de Compostela gets a special mix of people. It is the world’s thirdlargest Christian pilgrimage site, after Rome and Jerusalem. The old town has lovely paved streets, flower gardens and many tiny tapas bars with onstreet dining. The most appealing tourist area of the city is the medieval quarter, with many large and outstanding historic structures. We just had to sample the infamous pulpo - or octopus - because, it is said, you cannot visit Santiago without trying its traditional
dish. And it really was delightful. The city is well-respected for its vast array and quality of seafood, and the streets are lined with eateries, all exhibiting their produce in tempting window displays. It offers the perfect opportunity to take a break and watch the world, and all the other tourists, go by. The evening saw us in our hotel, tucking in to an impressive gala dinner. Seafood of course, was on the menu by way of lobster - WOW! Mojito sorbets were followed by prime steak and, considering there were around 1,000 people dining, the quality of this mass-produced meal was top-notch. Next day was departure day, but not until the evening, so we ventured into the centre again, this time to visit the cathedral. Outstanding, breathtaking and unbelievable are three perfect descriptions, and I can now understand what all the fuss is about. I am not particularly religious, but I can appreciate historic buildings, and you really do need to see this place to believe! More tapas, more wine and, generally, just a lovely feel. Busy as the city is, the general atmosphere is particularly pleasant, and Santiago de Compostela is definitely a place to which I will return for a more in-depth stay. Next time, though, I will opt for a city centre hotel for convenience, and we will extend our stay because two nights was not quite long enough.
By Carl from Robot
IF there is one thing that tells the world your hair is healthy its the shine, be it artificially or natural. But what gives hair its natural, glossy look?
What can you do to make sure your hair is shining with the best of them? Well, there are a few tricks of the trade that will ensure you get the best out of your hair when looking for that mirror-like finish. As always, it starts with your shampoo: nothing synthetic or anything claiming to “give” you shine. These products will coat your hair in a goo that’s called “panthenol plastic” - an artificial ingredient that coats the hair and scalp, giving you not the shine you de-
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LET IT SHINE!
sire but a false one. It’s like coating your dry skin in wax. It will feel smooth, but underneath it is lacking moisture and still dull and dry. Instead, go for a salon shampoo recommended by your stylist. Yes they are slightly more expensive, but we don’t sell anything to which we aren’t proud to put our name. Salon products are more concentrated and so, last longer, which evens out the cost over time. The same goes your conditioner, so don’t skimp on this either! Okay, now you have your basis, so what next? always use an Argan Oil on your hair when its wet ... but really wet because this is when it is most effective. Then start drying your hair from roots to tips, always pointing the hairdryer downwards to keep the cuticle flat. Never use the nozzle as this will dry your hair out more and you’ll never get a shine. And do use ceramic brushes to style your hair because these combat the static pro-
duced by cheaper versions and, thus, helping the process. Once your hair is dry, smooth over from roots to tip with a few drops more of your Argan Oil. If you don’t have glossier hair at this stage, I’ll stand on my head! Actually, if you have very dry hair, you will need a few treatments and a good cut first to help you along your way. There’s no point trying to turn straw into gold. Incidentally, you may not know it, but darker hair will always look glossier than blonde, although the latter does shine if looked after properly. But this depends on how much you care for it. Don’t forget that after shampooing your hair, it is always best to pat it dry. NEVER rub it with a towel as this roughs up the cuticle and causes breakage. And you will never get that shine you’re after. As always, there are shine sprays to help you on your way, but don’t rely on these too much. Instead, treat your tresses with love and you will soon see a vast improvement. Make sure, too, that your hair is cut regularly (yes, even those of you who like longer hair) because this will encourage natural healthy growth, leading to more manageable hair. Remember, leaving it for months, and sometimes years, means that we may have to cut more off in the long term!
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Community News
By Monica Dyson CONSPIRACY theories about the demise of those in the public eye refuse to go away, don’t they?
Once you are dead, people can speculate all they want about salacious aspects of your life because, of course, the dead can’t refute what is said. Marilyn Monroe has never been able to rest easily in her grave, with decades of speculation about her relationship with the Ken-
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All Shook Up about Elvis, Jacko and Co
nedy brothers. It was said that she had been murdered by the CIA or Mafia to cover up these relationships, even though she had a lifetime battle with depression and had attempted suicide four times before. Rumours about Michael Jackson are everpresent. An internet site reports that his “socalled” death was a conspiracy in which he was involved to avoid the commit-
ment of the major tour on which he was embarking. He has reputedly been seen in Disneyland (where else!), Switzerland and Israel, and has apparently made his home in a bunker, sharing it with Elvis Presley. Of course, Elvis has been seen in many supermarkets across America, no doubt buying his favourite peanut butter. There is a website on the Internet devoted to uncovering the truth behind his demise, which many of his fans refuse to believe ever happened. They prefer to believe that shortly before his “death”, he had a seven-storey bunker built underneath Graceland which he shares with other stars who have decided to get away from the world and faked their deaths. Buddy Holly is also said by some people to be living there! Buddy’s 1959 death in a plane crash (The Day The Music Died according to singer Don McLean), which also killed Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper (JP Richardson) was not without conspiracy theories when it was reported that the Big Bopper’s body was found some way from the rest of the bodies and had suffered a gunshot wound. This caused a great deal of anguish to his family for many years, the theory being put to rest in 2007 only when, at the request of Big Bopper’s son, his body was exhumed and found to have no gunshot wounds. There are many reported sightings of Elvis walking round Graceland. But to be honest, it is a place that attracts a considerable number of lookalikes! Many famous people have been the subject of conspiracy theories about their deaths, including John Lennon, Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jnr, Bob Marley and Brian Jones. There was a recent claim that Jimi Hendrix had been murdered on the orders of his man-
ager, so that he might benefit from an insurance policy, but this was dismissed as rubbish. One of the cases which rears its ugly head from time to time is the murder of President Kennedy. Every year, thousands of people visit the book repository in Dallas, from where Lee Harvey Oswald is supposed to have shot the US President. And equally, many people wonder, as I did when I visited it, how he could have shot him so accurately. The distance and circumstances would certainly suggest more than one gunman. Conspiracy theories abound. They range from murder plots by the CIA, Mafia, KGB, George Bush Snr, concern about the President’s so-called interest in UFO activity - and the most widelybelieved theory that Lyndon B Johnson was behind it in order that he might become President. Apparently, Jackie Kennedy was said to have agreed with this theory. A year or so ago we had yet another conspiracy theory about Princess Diana’s death 16 years ago, again causing untold distress to her family. At the time, Scotland Yard said that it might have new information about the fatal crash, although the three-year investigation, called Operation Paget, concluded that she simply died in a tragic road accident. But, no matter what, sceptics still
continue to question the verdict and, as with other conspiracy theories, there are on-line sites devoted to exposing Diana’s “murder”. Dodi Al-Fayed, Diana’s lover, also died in the crash and his father, Mohamed, was extremely outspoken in his belief that they had both been murdered by the British Establishment, on the instigation of the Royal Family, and in particular Prince Philip. That was down to rumours that Diana had been pregnant with Dodi’s child and so, it would not be acceptable to have the child of a prominent Egyptian Muslim within the Royal Family. Considering the family tree of the Royal family, quite laughable! A new theory was put forward by author Alan Power, who says that Diana was killed by the MI6 with military help. Mr Power is, allegedly, a former SAS soldier who claims to have served in an assassination team called The Increment. He says he has files to hand over to Scotland Yard.
Theories are everpresent, and they will probably never be substantiated. One claim by a friend of Diana is that she was going to name prominent British Government and public figures to show that they were profiting from the proliferation of land mines, a cause close to Diana’s heart. One name to be given was to be that of the Secret Intelligence Service. So far, it hasn’t happened. And the weirdest theory I have heard was the one stating that Diana was so desperate to break free that she arranged for their “deaths” to be faked and she is actually living very happily with Dodi on a small tropical island near the Middle East. I’d find it difficult to believe she didn’t want to see her new grandchildren, wouldn’t you? Surely this one has to be the lowest plausible theory of all. But whatever makes people happy - and if they want to hang on to the belief that they may one day see these people again - I suppose it may be thought harmless. Then again, any fresh allegations of conspiracy and corruption, usually made many years later, can only hurt the families of the deceased, who deserve to be able to lay their l o v e d ones to rest.
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Community News
20th March - 26th March 2015
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Accion del Sol news
Our precious little bundle THIS gorgeous little puppy is waiting patiently at the refuge with his 200 friends for a loving home.
He has decided to enter our next fund-
raising event at the refuge on 9th May in the hope of finding a new life. We are asking friends and supporters of the refuge to take a picture of their favourite pet with flowers and submit them to teneriffa@
aktiontier.org - and our little titch is bound to melt hearts. The pictures will be printed and displayed at the refuge, ready for the judges to select three prize-winning pictures. The fund-raiser will be a fun-filled day with
a Fun Dog Obedience competition, in which you can show off your dog’s talents, Mr and Mrs Dog 2015 will also be chosen, as well as lots of fun and games for the children, a petting farm with lots of various animals, horseriding, a bouncy castle, cakes, hot food, music and a chance to tour our refuge, with its amazing facilities, and to meet many of the dogs here. It is definitely a date
for your diary, and if you want to pre-enter your pet for the dog show (three euros per entry), please call 922 778 630. How you can help Please call the same refuge number for more information, or if you would like to help out in any way. Maybe you have some spare time and would like to walk one of our dogs, which would be muchappreciated by the staff and our inmates.
How to find us We are situated at the Granadilla Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF-1, by the ecological park where the windmills are. Refuge opening times The refuge is open to the public Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 2-5pm, and from 1-4pm on Saturdays. We are closed Wednesdays, Sundays and on Public Holidays.
Early Easter for special school
LOCAL charity Helping Hands has delivered chocolate bunnies and 1,000 euros to one of its two special causes, Guargacho’s CEE Disabled School, in preparation for the children’s Easter celebrations.
Lions go back to Swinging Sixties SAN Miguel Lions Club members are staging a Sixties charity bash on Sunday, 5th April - a final fund-raiser before their annual Disadvantaged Children´s Holiday Project in May. It takes place at Coral Mar’s Coral Bar in Costa del Silenco from 1pm, and there will be
a hot and cold buffet, live entertainment, a quiz and as ever, heaps of fun. Dress as you wish and spend as much as you can to support our May Holiday Project. Tickets, costing 12 euros, are available from our Charity Shop in The Dip, Costa del Silencio, on Mondays
Liz Montague, who runs the charity, made the presentation and also introduced Sandra Paul, Golf del Sur’s 2014 Ladies’ captain, and 2013 captain Elaine Perigo. Their golf section made a generous 1,633-euro donation, which was used to purchase sensory equipment for the school. Liz (below) also presented Sandra with a “thank-you” certificate for her ladies’ fund-raising efforts at the Golf del Sur club.
(10am-2pm), the Coral Bar or Club Secretary Ralph on 685 542 128. This event follows the Lions’ successful Fun Chino at China Town last weekend. Pictured is the show’s entertainer Colin, with Lion Anne (left), who did a wonderful job organising this fundraiser.
Pictured (l to r) are Lynette Tiernan (Helping Hands’ Silencio representative) Kim Thomas (Helping Hands), School Director Juan Carlos, Liz Montague and Golf del Sur Ladies’ captains Sandra Paul (2014) and Elaine Perigo (2013)
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Lifestyle
By Sue McDonald WHEN you buy a property in Tenerife, you may suddenly find just how many close friends and family you actually have!
On a serious note, it can be lovely when people come out to visit you ... but is your property prepared properly? With Easter fast approaching, you may well have people coming out, so what can you do to
20th March -26th March 2015
Our Easter visitors make them comfortable, but also allow you to carry on with your normal life? If you have a spare bedroom, all well and good. But if you aren’t so lucky, another way of making more space for visitors is to get a sofa bed. Sofa beds have come a long way over the last few years and they are now virtually indistinguishable from normal sofas (which means you can fib, if you really don’t want someone to stay!). Think about your primary use of the item. If you are here all year round, sit on the sofa every night, and use the bed bit just twice a year, say, then you should concentrate on the sofa’s
comfort because the bed’s quality is secondary. If, however, you have regular visitors, the bed element may be in constant use. If this is the case, it will need to be robust. Look for a threeseater sofa that converts to a double bed, with a reasonably thick mattress (there will be a limit to this as the mattress has to fold into the cavity of the sofa when not in use). However, with the development of new foams for both cushions and mattresses, it is possible to achieve a comfortable sofa and a comfortable bed at a really competitive price.
If you own a rental property, the purpose of the sofa bed will be to increase occupancy, so that a one-bedroom apartment can sleep four people, for example. In this case, the sofa bed will need to be really strong, and with a mechanism which is easy for visitors to understand and to use. Sofas at Deco Nuevo are made locally to order, and you can choose from a huge range of fabrics to ensure that everything tones well with your existing colour scheme. Orders take approximately two weeks to complete, so there is still time to get organised for your Easter visitors!
By Carl Pattison IT would be so easy to start my column this week talking about “regular-sized” women … anyone of a size 14 downwards. But who’s to say what “regular”is? Who judges what is classed as “normal” when it comes to body shapes? You curvier girls are missed out many times when it comes to fashion, and those images portrayed in the magazines. There is no point denying that it gives half the clothes-buying public a chance to look and feel good, and we all crave the looks of the moment. So if you have a slightly curvier figure, or you’ve gained a few extra kilos, there’s always a way to dress to impress without
that feeling of being left out. Many girls tend to try to cover up the bits they are not happy with - only to exaggerate the point even more. So what do you wear, and how do you wear it? There’s only one way, and that’s to pick a part of your body you do like and enhance it. For example, if you are topheavy but have good legs, then show them off. Don’t make the big mistake of revealing too much cleavage because this will only make you look bigger.
That’s because the material will either drape over you and give you a tent-like appearance, or it will be so tight that you will cause too much attention. If the problem is the reverse - that you have a pearshaped figure - then wearing anything too tight on the bottom half will double your size. Instead, go for something more f l o a t i e r, materialwise. This will even out your p r o p o rt i o n s - and don’t have the skirt too short because this will
FULL-ON FASHION widen your hips even more. If you are going for a pattern on your garments, don’t opt for anything causing a horizontal line. Stripes that are broad, or wrap around your figure, will expand your shape. Instead, opt for bold patterns or one uniform colour. This will draw you in, giving your silhouette a slimmer profile. But don’t go for anything that cuts you in half! The idea is to elongate. If you are wearing a jacket, make sure it is also the right shape and length. Go for a medium-length, but never for cropped because this will make you look topheavy. When it comes to shoes, go for a heel. It doesn’t have to be too high, but just enough to extend you. Anything flat drops
your legs down, making them appear bigger. This may seem silly, but choosing your handbag is also important: opt for a tiny one and you will look bigger. So opt for a medium-to-large size as this will give the illusion that you are smaller. I know, it sounds mad but it works! Above all else, no matter what you choose to put on - or don’t put on for that matter - you must be happy with one thing, and that’s YOU! If what you are wearing makes you feel amazing, then that’s what works for you. If not, only you can change the way you see yourself - and how others do as well. No one should be forced to “be” a certain way. It’s all about being comfortable with the skin your in, and not what labels you carry on your back.
www.canarianweekly.com 20th March - 26th March 2015
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Lifestyle
20th March -26th March 2015
In-car drive for safety By Emma at Motorworld
TRÁFICO is intensifying checks on the use of seat belts and child protection in cars to help reduce the number of deaths or serious injuries.
Failure to use a seat belt will be considered a serious offence if are stopped, and a fine of 200 euros will be issued, along with the loss of three points from your licence. Why should you use a seat belt? The main reason is to reduce the risk of death or serious injury in the event of an
accident, but there are several other benefits: *A seat belt is meant to be worn in conjunction with the vehicle’s airbags because, by themselves, airbags cannot complete the safety aspect *A seat belt stops the occupant from leaving the vehicle, and also stops an impact with the screen *A seat belt reduces by half the severity of some injures for both driver and passengers *A frontal-impact accident at 80km/h without a seat belt will generally result in death or very serious injuries *In the event of a frontal impact, in which the rear-seat occupants are not wearing seat belts, they are eight times more likely to impact another occupant *Using a seat belt re-
duces the risk of injury in a small accident by up to five times If, however, you have children in the vehicle without a seat belt, the adult is always responsible. With the new law changes, police are now allowed to immobilise a vehicle carrying a minor without the appro-
priate child-restraint system, as well as prohibiting the minor from sitting in the front seat in certain circumstances. Under-12 minors less than 1.35m tall are not allowed to travel in the front seat unless they are using the appropriate, officially-approved child restraint system
suitable for their age and height. Under-12s taller than 1.35m are allowed to sit in the front seat, but must use the appropriate seat belt. Child-restraint systems must comply with the ECE R44 and have the appropriate homologation (official) labels on them. As a guideline, the different stages of child restraint systems are as follow: 1. Group 0 and 0+: New-borns to approx 13kg kilos. The child seat must be rear-facing and must have a five-point harness. The seat must be changed once the child reaches 13kg, or if the head is taller than the seat. If the child is placed on the front seat, the vehicle’s airbag must be switched off. 2. Group 1, (approx 1-4 years) from 9-18kg:
The child seat must contain head support and a five-point harness. 3. Group 2 and 3, (approx 4-12 years) from 15-36kg: This restraint system is either a simple booster, or a booster with added spinal protection. The aim of the seat is to elevate the child so the normal seat belt can be used. Remember, the diagonal part of the seat belt must pass over the collarbone and shoulder without touching the neck, and the horizontal part of the seat belt must sit as low as possible around the hips and NEVER around the stomach. The kilos and ages for babies stated above are guidelines only because no two children are the same weight at the same age.
Keep kids active and you’ll keep them slim By Val Sainsbury PARENTS have been warned that inactive children will probably grow up to become middleaged couch potatoes,
The TV viewing habits of more than 6,000 British people, born in a single week in 1970, were monitored by scientists at the ages of 10 and 42. And, according to University College London researchers, mums and dads should increase their children’s physical activity to ensure
they become fit and healthy adults. “Do something active to displace TV,” advises study co-author Lee Smith. “In the evening, when families tend to sit down and watch TV, they should try going for walks instead. “If you can’t go outside, try active computer games - anything that gets people up and expending energy rather than sitting down and snacking,” said Dr Smith, of the UCL epidemiology and public health department. The authors acknowledge that for today’s children, TV viewing is often replaced by time on computers,
smartphones or tablets. But Dr Smith stressed that the issues are the same, that computers and phones are “just a different way of sitting down and relaxing”, and parents need to encourage children to be more active. The study draws the British Cohort Study, which gathers information on the economic circumstances, health, physical, educational and social development of people born in England, Scotland and Wales in 1970. When they were 10, their parents were asked how often the children watched TV and played sport. Their height and weight were recorded, as w e r e
their parents’ occupations. At the age of 42, they were asked how much time they spent watching TV, and quizzed on a range of physical activities and sports. They were also asked to assess their health and weight. The study shows that the children who watched a lot of TV at 10 were 42% more likely to spend more than three hours a day in front of the screen as adults than those who watched relatively little TV in childhood. The 42-year-olds who watched TV for at least three hours a day were more likely to be in “fair” o r
“poor” health only, and to rate themselves as either overweight or obese. They were also more likely to have had fathers who were overweight and in routine or manual jobs. The sons and daughters of manual workers were twice as likely as managers’ children to watch more than three hours of TV a day at 42, even after their own educational qualifications had been taken into account. Parents who are manual workers “are more likely to be physically active at work, and may compensate for this by spending more time sitting down during their leisure hours”, sug-
gests another of the researchers, Dr Mark Hamer. “Their children may then model their mothers’ and fathers’ leisure activity patterns. But it is important that children keep active. And if they can be encouraged to participate in sports, so much the better.” The authors believe this is the first study to use a large, representative birth cohort to correlate childhood and adult TV viewing habits and health. “Our work indicates that parents’ healthrelated behaviours may at least partly influence children’s TV-viewing habits more than three decades later,” added Dr Hamer.
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Puzzle Page
20th March - 26th March 2015
PRIZE Godoku!
WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl
WIN! 2 tickets to see The Sound of Musicals
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CW Crossword
The rules of Godoku are simple just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid. When you have completed it, a word will appear. Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 18th March 2015 and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.
Last Week’s winner (Issue 893): Liz Trainer Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 17th April 2015 to pick up and use your vouchers.
This week’s letters: A E G I L M N O S This week’s mystery clue: The second thriller to feature John Corey by Nelson DeMille has this title, with “The” (9 letters).
A L M G
I N M A
S
A E
L A
O I
E
M G
Winning Caption (Issue 893): “If you think that’s bad I DARE you to burn my steak.” Winner: Adam O’Neill
Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 17th April 2015 to pick up and use your vouchers.
S E
I E
30-Second Brain Training
L O
Sudoku X...
Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.
1 3 4 5
What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds. Good Luck! Beginner
Starter Number
6
1
9
7 9 5 2 7 8 9 4 5 6 4 3 1 2 8
2
24
of this
6
7
-20
x9
3
-11
x7
8
9
+31
÷5 3
4
+51
5
26%
of this
Answer
Intermediate Starter Number
85
1
2
3/5
of this
-42
6
7
8
-9
6
1
3/4
5
4
x12 +61 ÷13 Answer
9
x41
-74
of this
1
2
3
70%
4 1 2 7
Starter Number
82
÷2
-25
6
7
8
-207
x6
+36
x16 +114 9
÷3
5
4
7/10 of this
Answer
And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...
9 2 4
8
8 9 1
2 8 6 3
5 7
3 4 7 5
5 6 3 4 8
6 1 7 4 3
2 4 8 3
8 9
2 1
5 7 6 3 1
1 3 7 2
3 5 8 4
4 1 7 2 9
2 7 9 1
1 6 2 5
9 3
8 6 9
DOWN 1 Point at a target (3) 2 Bound (7) 3 Barnaby -, Dickens novel (5) 4 Warm-region grasshopper (6) 6 Cake topping (5) 7 Sugar is one (9) 8 Wet dirt (6) 11 Facial pictures (9) 14 Trial, tribulation (6) 16 Fuss and bother (7) 17 Scattered (6) 19 Skirt style (1-4) 21 Fish; or point of view (5) 24 Zero, zilch (3)
this week’s Riddles Three Taps There is a water-cask with three different water-taps. With the smallest tap, the water-cask can be filled in 20 minutes. With the middle tap, the watercask can be filled in 12 minutes. With the largest tap, the water-cask can be filled in 5 minutes. The Question: How long does it take to fill the water-cask with the three taps together? Last Issue's Answers:
Advanced
7 3 4
ACROSS 1 In the end, finally (5,3) 5 Auction offers (4) 9 Hillock (5) 10 Crash into (7) 11 Own (7) 12 Finger, thumb or toe (5) 13 Wirelesses, tuners (6) 15 Continue, persist (4,2) 18 “- Dahl”, author (5) 20 Fishing boat (7) 22 Mimic, ape (7) 23 Donated, handed (5) 25 Canal in Egypt (4) 26 Built-in, part-of (8)
CW Crossword
ACROSS 3. PRECEDENT. 8. RIVAL. 9. PASSIVE. 10. DURABLE. 11. NOW 12. SWAPPED. 14. OBEYS. 16. SIEVE. 17. BUDDIES. 19. DUE. 21. SECTION. 23. HAIR-CUT. 24. TWEET. 25. TURNS AWAY.
Brain Training:
DOWN 1. PRUDES. 2. OVERTAKE. 3. PLEB. 4. EXPEND. 5. EASTWOOD. 6. EXIT. 7. THEIRS. 13. PREDICTS. 15. ELICITED. 16. SACHET. 17. BESTOW. 18. SANITY. 20. PIER. 22. CITY.
Godoku:
Beginner: 24 Intermediate:112 Advanced: 69
Sudoku X: 3 6 1 4 9 8 5 7 2 8 5 7 1 3 2 9 6 4 9 2 4 5 7 6 8 1 3 5 8 3 7 6 4 1 2 9 4 7 9 2 1 5 6 3 8 2 1 6 3 8 9 7 4 5 6 3 5 8 4 7 2 9 1 1 9 2 6 5 3 4 8 7 7 4 8 9 2 1 3 5 6
Sudoku: 8 9 3 2 1 7 6 4 5
7 5 8 1 6 4 9 2 3
7 4 2 5 8 6 9 3 1
6 3 2 7 5 9 1 8 4
1 5 6 9 4 3 8 2 7
9 4 1 8 2 3 7 6 5
3 1 4 6 7 8 5 9 2
8 1 5 6 3 7 4 9 2
5 6 8 1 2 9 3 7 4
2 9 3 5 4 8 6 7 1
2 7 9 3 5 4 1 6 8
4 6 7 9 1 2 5 3 8
4 3 1 7 9 5 2 8 6
3 2 6 4 9 1 8 5 7
6 2 7 8 3 1 4 5 9
5 7 4 2 8 6 3 1 9
9 8 5 4 6 2 7 1 3
1 8 9 3 7 5 2 4 6
CW 48
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20th March -26th March 2015
British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment. Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco.gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112 National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint. Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06
Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.
Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11
Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water. Red - Strong currents do not swim
Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 77 77 20 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802
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Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.
Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00
Page 49
1 module box advert
Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care. Green - Safe to swim
Ladies authentic Calvin Klein watch, gold, face white with 3 tiny diamonds, 150 euros ono. New DKNY watch, unisex gold & white ceramic with diamante front, 150 euros ono. Genuine Lady Chloe sunglasses, dark-green 40 euros. Binoculars: 1 x 7 x 50 navy Artillery, 250 euros ono. Zenith 7 x 50 like new, coated optics field 71, 200 euros ono. Pair new Prada shoes, dark-blue leather and material, size 43-44, 50 euros. Bag of new indoor golf training gear, 35 euros. Bag of video games, (about 50), 50 euros. Original Formula 1 shirt, XL Black, Torro Rosso Red Bull infinite team with all decals, new, 90 euros. Black leather jacket, new (Springfield), 60 euros ono, Los Cristianos. Tel: 657 450 885 Two air-beds with pump and two sleeping bags, single bed size, 35 euros ono. IKEA cushion for a pong chair, 20 euro ono, Los Cristianos. Tel: 661 249 095 Xbox guitar hero incl game, keyboard and drumsticks 25 euros.
Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights. Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037 TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services. Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company. Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%. Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate. Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52
Computer monitor 20 euros. Computer tower, 25 euros. Brand-new Kingsize quilt cover, cream and brown 20 euros. Simpsons single quilt cover and matching curtains, 30 euros set. Assortment of pint glasses, 20 for 5 euros. Marble-look rectangle patio table, 20 euros. Gstar combat trousers size 34, as new, 5 euros. Mishmash jeans, size 34, 5 euros. Double quilt, cream, 8 euros. Tel: 687 362 641 Acer keyboard, black, like new, 10 euros. Lexmark printer scanner & instruction book, requires ink refills, 20 euros. Logitech black keyboard, like new, 10 euros. Ladies 3-piece set of 2 half-moonshaped cases, large & med, plus vanity case for make-up/toiletries, all hardly used, tapestry design with roses. 25 euros. Child’s back-carrier, in red with storage pockets, 15 euros. Baby front-carrier, navy-blue, 5 euros. Lean-mean grilling machine, electric, large, 30 euros. Designer bag new (My flat in London) black outside with sparkly crown logo & pink lining. Changing mat inc & pink waterproof lining, 40 euros. Brass cornet/small trumpet in case with music book, 100 euros. Baby car seat, 10 euros. Large wall decoration in shape of fan, lovely scene of mountains, 12 euros. Table-top fan, 15 euros. Wash hand-basin & pedestal in white, as new, 20 euros. Fish tank ornament Roman ruins, 10 euros. White cane/bamboo tall unit with glass doors to top shelf & three drawers below, 35 euros, Los Cris centre. Tel: 699 199 392 or 922 794 790 Washing machine, top-loader, excellent cond, 50 euros. Tel: 922 713 182. Large extending IKEA table, 70 euros. Drop-down front writing desk two drawers and glass fronted cupboard, all wood, 55 euros. Boy’s bike (up to 10 years) six gears, front and rear suspension, 25 euros. 1960s glass-fronted cabinet, 20 euros. Aspes H2 1401 halogen hob and oven, 70 euros. TV table on wheels,10 euros. Chico baby intercom, 15 euros, Silencio. Tel: 629 570 945
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Free Ads / Classified
20th March - 26th March 2015
Property for renT (cont.)
Disabled-friendly ground floor studio, 100m from beach, Los Cristianos. UK TV. 425 euros p/month. Tel: 632 518 114
2 bed bungalow near Las Galletas, big kitchen, garage, suitable for mature people. Call for information on 609 531 178
Property for renT
1 bedroom apartment in Ocean View, San Eugenio Alto, well equipped 375â‚Ź PCM inc. No view. Deposit required. Tel:618 391 837
Classified
49 CW
Jobs Venli requires a Spray Painter for their new bodywork department, plus Carpenters and Joiners for their workshop. For more information call 922 782 683 or email CV to workshop@venli.com B Funky fashion shows are looking for International girls to model swimwear in the South of Tenerife for an immediate start. Must be presentable and speak good English, other languages an advantage. Sales or PR experience essential. Daily work, salary, commissions paid and contracts given. Call JosĂŠ between 11am & 5pm on 606 181 946 Office staff required for food and drink distributor, based in Las Chafiras. Must speak English and Spanish and have a good telephone manner. Hours are 7am to 3pm, 5 days a week. Contract and good rates of pay offered. Mornings will be processing daily orders whilst afternoons will be selling to existing customers over the phone. Contact Dan on 636 929 241 or Barry on 610 553 447 Adeslas the leading organization of medical and dental insurance in spain, seeks professional part-time and full time agents to spearhead their new top promotional campaign in home, business, accident and funeral insurance...do you have the burning desire to achieve top rewards with the opportunity for advancement ? Its a rewarding career with great flexibility for the right candidates. Contact 648 899 761 for an interview
Cars/BIKES
Air-conditioning
Ref: C1659. TERRAZAS DEL CONDE, TORVISCAS ALTO. 2 bed penthouse on 134 m2 construction, 2 terraces with views of the coast and the sea. Garage parking space. Communal pool. 180.000 euros
C1667. WINTER GARDENS, GOLF DEL SUR. 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, lounge, fully fitted kitchen, 2 terraces- one roof terrace that is very large. Underground parking space. Pool. 183.750 euros
Air conditioning and refrigeration. Tel: 639 361 181 or 688 620 707 or see electrical.
Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493
Auction Fortnightly General Auctions at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Buy and sell almost anything! Collection & delivery available. Call 609 303 634
Blinds C1664. PORTANOVA, TORVISCAS ALTO. 2 bedrooms, living room, 1 bathroom, fully equipped kitchen & 2 sunny terraces (50m2 + 40m2). It is furnished. Air con, parking, + pool. 210.000 euros
C1665. SANTA MARIA, SAN EUGENIO. Top floor apartment with 2 bedrooms, large terrace with views, communal pool + many amenities on-site. 2nd line from the sea. 262.500 euros
www.thepropertygallery.com
CW 50
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Classified / Service Point
20th March -26th March 2015
Construction (cont.)
Cars
Garden Furniture
Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779
Home removal
Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.
Lawyers Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA. Based in Los Cristianos. I offer perosnal visits to the South of Tenerife. Tel: 608 029 790. Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com
Cleaning
Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.
Driving School
Marble flooring
Computers
Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner
info@act-tenerife.com
Web:
www.act-tenerife.com
Electrician
Construction
Furniture New Bed Bases & Mattresses for sale at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Excellent Quality, Low Prices, Next Day Delivery. Call 609 303 634
Mechanics
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Service Point
20th March - 26th March 2015
Patio Doors & Windows
Plumbing (cont.)
security (cont.)
Pool tables
Tiling
Reflexology
51 CW
Translation TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more. Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed. Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com
TV and Satellite Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711
Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.
Second-hand Shops
House, Apartment & Villa Clearances Everything bought for Cash Immediate Decisions
Personal ServiceS Patricia, blond, good looking Venezuelan in the Calle Noruega in Los Cristianos, big breasts, no limits, hotel-home visits, Tel: 631 648 191 2 Slim Friends, with big breasts, Fulfill your fantasies. Erotic massage and services. Tel 669 738 298
Pest control
Call Freddie on 609 303 634
Upholstery cleaning
Long & Short Term Storage also available.
Storage Short and Long Term Storage available at Tenerife Auction Rooms, anything from a suitcase to complete removals. Collection available. Call 609 303 634
repairs Windows
Plumbing security
Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579
CW 52
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Sport
20th March -26th March 2015
Return of a legend Recreativo 1 CD Tenerife 1
By Roscoe TENERIFE returned from the mainland with another away point, a five-match unbeaten streak … and lots of bruises! My, Recreativo are one dirty team.
When you are in the relegation zone in March, you have to fight
for your life. But those lads took it literally! It wasn’t pleasant, but it was job done and a stride in the right direction for Tenerife. This was a game they would have lost a few weeks ago. The Uruguay boys are getting goals for Tenerife at the moment, and it was pleasing to see Diego Ifran back on the scoresheet. His early goal was swiftly cancelled out by Caye, who grabbed his second of the season. In fact, the youngster caught the eye for the hosts.
Both teams spurned chances to seal a win and it was a far better point for Raul Agne’s men than the dogged hosts who, I feel will be okay if they show the same fight over the last 13 weeks of the season. A glimpse at the table shows you how tight it is at the top and the bottom. It was pleasing to see Real Betis bash Las Palmas 3-0 last weekend. I wrote six weeks ago that I felt Las Palmas would slip away and that Betis would roar up the table.
I fully expect Real to steam-roll their way to the title now, while Las Palmas are in big trouble. More on that next week because this weekend, a genuine Tenerife legend returns to the Heliodoro. It has been nearly four years since Nino graced the Heliodoro, and he will receive quite a reception as his Osasuna side hit Santa Cruz. In just four seasons, Nino hit 78 goals and was one of the few to Position
gain any credit from the double-relegation disaster. His partnership with Alfaro fired us to promotion. and he strained every sinew to try to keep us there. Following the second relegation, he wrote off a large sum of money (depending on who you believe, it ranged from 250,000 to 700,000 euros) owed to him. He has had some ups and downs and nasty injuries in his four seasons at Osasuna. And
a return to Tenerife has been explored on more than one occasion. He must be tearing his hair out at the possibility of becoming the only man in history to experience double relegation, from La Liga to Segunda B in successive seasons - twice! But Osasuna are Ohso-rubbish right now. You have to go back to 27th January to find their last win, and they have lost six of their last seven.
Points
PLD
Won
1
Real Betis Balompié
56
29
16
Draw Lost 8
5
44
F A 24
2
Real Sporting
55
29
14
13
2
41
23
3
Real Valladolid CF
54
29
16
6
7
47
24
4
UD Las Palmas
53
29
14
11
4
46
29
5
Girona FC
52
29
15
7
7
41
27
6
Real Zaragoza
43
29
11
10
8
45
42
7
SD Ponferradina
42
29
11
9
9
42
38
8
CD Leganés
38
29
11
5
13
30
28
9
CD Numancia
38
29
9
11
9
40
40
10 CD Lugo
38
29
9
11
9
32
36
11 CD Mirandés
38
29
10
8
11
28
34
12 RCD Mallorca
37
29
10
7
12
40
43
13 UE Llagostera
37
29
10
7
12
26
30
14 AD Alcorcón
37
29
9
10
10
34
40
15 Deportivo Alavés
35
28
8
11
9
32
31
16 CD Tenerife
33
29
8
9
12 25 32
17 Albacete Balompié
31
29
8
7
14
36
47
18 Club Atlético Osasuna
31
28
8
7
13
28
40
19 Real Racing Club
29
29
7
8
14
28
32
20 RC Recreativo
28
29
6
10
13
26
38
21 FC Barcelona B
28
29
7
7
15
37
52
22 CE Sabadell FC
26
29
6
8
15
30
48
Ñandu success continues Ñandu 64 Spartans 14
ÑANDU Rugby Club embarked on their third back-to-back weekend on the mainland and, as in previous visits, they proved too strong for their opponents. Saturday’s clash with Spartans was a physical encounter, Ñandu striking first with a well-taken try. It involved forwards and backs, creating space on the wing for Ryan Cox to score his first try, converted by Chema Gil. Ñandu took time to find their rhythm, and an interception try gave the Spartans hope. But their joy was short-lived as the determination and drive of the Tenerife lads proved pivotal, and they responded immediately with a try from Facundo Pitsouris. Further touch-downs by Jacob Oakenfold, Gabriel Trujillo, Mateo Paolin, Alberto Muñoz, and two more from Ryan Cox to complete his hat-trick, gave Ñandu the spoils in some style.
Ñandu 55 Badalona 12
THE following day saw Ñandu back in action, and their previous day’s efforts did not affect their legs. But Badalona came out of the blocks early on to score the first try. Again, though, Ñandu answered immediately to draw level at 5-5. The game grew in intensity as big tackles were put in by both sides, but the visitors stayed strong, held their rhythm, and took the lead. Scrum-half Mateo then got hold of the game, dictated play and, during the next hour, Ñandu grew in maturity and controlled the game from ruck to attacking the gain-line. It was an assured performance by every player in the 22-strong squad, the tries coming from Facundo Pitsouris (3), Jacob Oakenfold (2), Chema Gil (2), Francisco Ferreyra (1), Gabriel Cordoba (1), with Chema kicking five conversions. None of this would be possible without the help and support of our current sponsors, but we still have a long way to go, with two further trips ahead and almost empty coffers. Ñandu desperately need more funding, and, if you can please help in any way, please phone 664 361 058 or email nandurugbytenerife@gmail.com
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Sport
20th March - 26th March 2015
53 CW
Going down to the wire! IT has been a long and difficult season in the Express bar deliveries darts league, for one reason or another.
But that hasn’t dampened the competitive spirit one jot, and a quick glance at the top of Division 2 goes a long way to prove it. As we go into the final round of fixtures, just a single point separates top-placed Waterfall Warriors and The Palms. Waterfall travel to Marilyns, while The Palms entertain Barracuda Hunters, who they beat 7-1 last time out. Indeed, Waterfall maybe should have a
bigger advantage, but their Friday 13th Part 2 match with Palms Sports Bar finished 4-4, so we really are going down to the wire! Good luck to both teams. Elsewhere, the Playgirls enjoyed a rare win as they beat Marilyns, and the Los Abrigos derby at The Rebels finished four apiece with Phoenix Flights. What do we make of Division 1? Holding a 19-point cushion, the Playboys are still strong favourites, even more so after they battered Trap Door 7-1 last Friday. That effectively rules out any challenge from Trap Door, but the Shamrocks’ 7-1 thumping of Sundowners keeps them in the hunt.
Using my trusty abacus, I can tell you that the Playboys could finish on 168 points, and the Shamrocks on 173, after their catchup matches, leaving a small margin of error
for the San Blas outfit. The other matches played in this section included last-leg wins for Summerlands over Emerald Lounge, and for Gaffers A against Picassos, plus a crack-
nents Bar 180 B won’t roll over too easily! And four points for The Pub will guarantee them second place if they can get them in their catch-up match with … Bar 180 A! It could have been a bit better for The Pub had they not been pushed all the way to the trebles leg by plucky Target Titans. George hit his third maximum for Target, while Pete replied with his second for The Pub. So the Phoenix Bar still live in hope after putting seven past Bar 180 B last week in a match that saw Mitch hitting a maximum, Steve finishing on 119 and London (still rolling back the years) checking out 121 on the bull.
ing 6-2 victory for Clouseaus at home to Pas O Nadas. A single point this week for Bar 180 A will give them the Premier League title. Of course, we expect that oppo-
PRemier division ResultS
Division 1 ResultS
Division 2 ResultS
BOOTHEN P-P GAFFERS B PHOENIX BAR 7-1 BAR 180 B TARGET TITANS 3-5 THE PUB
CLOUSEAUS 6-2 PAS O NADAS GAFFERS A 5-3 PICASSOS SUMMERLANDS 5-3 EMERALD LOUNGE SUNDOWNERS 1-7 EMERALD SHAMROCKS TRAP DOOR 1-7 OURPLACE PLAYBOYS
OURPLACE PLAYGIRLS PALMS SPORTS BAR THE REBELS
Premier Division Table
Division 1 Table
Division 2 Table
Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 BAR 180 A 22 18 3 1 139 37 102 139 2 THE PUB 23 17 3 3 131 53 78 131 3 PHOENIX BAR 23 16 3 4 126 58 68 126 4 TARGET ARMY 22 13 6 3 115 61 54 115 5 VIKINGS ENSECAN 22 10 4 8 96 80 16 96 6 TARGET TITANS 23 9 0 14 67 117 -50 67 7 GAFFERS B 23 4 2 17 61 123 -62 61 8 BAR 180 B 22 2 1 19 46 130 -84 46 9 BOOTHEN 22 1 0 21 27 149 -122 27
Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 OURPLACE PLAYBOYS 29 22 5 2 160 72 88 160 2 EMERALD SHAMROCKS 26 19 3 4 141 67 74 141 3 TRAP DOOR 26 20 1 5 136 72 64 136 4 GAFFERS A 29 15 5 9 121 111 10 121 5 EMERALD LOUNGE 29 12 3 14 113 119 -6 113 6 SUMMERLANDS 29 10 6 13 112 120 -8 112 7 NAUGHTY NAUTAS 29 7 9 13 105 127 -22 105 8 CLOUSEAUS 29 10 5 14 103 129 -26 103 9 PAS O NADAS 29 4 4 21 87 145 -58 87 10 PICASSOS A 27 6 5 16 82 134 -52 82 11 SUNDOWNERS 28 5 4 19 80 144 -64 80
Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 WATERFALL WARRIORS 26 17 6 3 133 75 58 133 2 THE PALMS 26 18 4 4 132 76 56 132 3 CHIPEQUE CHIPPERS 26 16 4 6 122 86 36 122 4 PALMS SPORTS BAR 26 14 5 7 119 89 30 119 5 THE REBELS 26 12 2 12 104 104 0 104 6 MARILYNS 26 9 2 15 103 105 -2 103 7 PHOENIX FLIGHTS 26 10 6 10 101 107 -6 101 8 BARRACUDA HUNTERS 26 8 4 14 93 115 -22 93 9 SPEAR CHUCKERS 26 6 1 19 79 129 -50 79 10 OURPLACE PLAYGIRLS 26 2 2 22 54 154 -100 54
5-3 4-4 4-4
MARILYNS WATERFALL WARRIORS PHOENIX FLIGHTS
Great Gordon leads the way AFTER the excitement of a double point-scoring week, we were back to just the weekend Premier League fixtures counting in the Oasis FM Fantasy Football League. However, it turned out to be a low-scoring week because certain bigname strikers did not get among the goals. And as most teams have these as double scoring captains, the averages were certainly down.
The point-scoring team of the week was dominated by Aston Villa after their demolition of Sunderland, which led to three of their players making the team. Leicester contributed two after a battling draw with Hull, and Man Utd also had two in there after a good win against Spurs. The rest came from Liverpool, Arsenal, Burnley and Everton. In the Oasis Fm League, we have a new
leader. He has been knocking on the door for a couple of weeks with some fine performances and this week, Gordon Wilson’s Coffee Shop Karma took top spot. Nick Abbott had been holding his own at the summit, but his misfiring strikers let him down, although the lead is just two points. The Team of the Week accolade goes to a side at the wrong end of the table, but Jac-
qui Obeirne’s Wolrad Wanderers FC outperformed everybody with a 64-point return. Aston Villa’s Gabby Agbonlahor was her star captain, returning 24 of those points, so well done Jacqui! There was no change in the battle raging at Oasis Fm Towers with Adi Benson still leading, although the gap was reduced a little. Floundering at the back is John Zammit,
who has been tinkering with his side of late. But I’m not sure he
will be able to make up 74 points to avoid the wooden spoon.
Fantasy Football League 1. Coffee shop karma
Gordon Wilson
46
1568
2. Boomtown Rabz
Nick Abbott
36
1566
3. Inter Malone
Ray Malone
33
1559
4. Toffees
Frank Devaney
34
1540
5. Kingsmead Krunchers
Stephen Snook
32
1537
6. Crossfire Hurricanes
Warren Wilson
35
1536
7. Dan United
Dan Lawton
42
1525
8. PJs Plodders
Paul Jones
41
1520
9. Fc Twenty
Anthony Cracknell
31
1516
10. Tiptoppers
Lesley Bradley
40
1508
CW 54
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Sport
20th March -26th March 2015
Treehouse rise above Phoenix IT was back to league action this week in the Direct Telecom Pool League and, with the top two places in Division One seemingly sorted, the race for third spot is really starting to take shape.
Just two points separate four teams and two of the rivals, The Phoenix and Treehouse A, locked horns in Los Abrigos on Tuesday. The visitors, 3-1 up rapidly, were in no mood to mess about as they kept the run going to make it 6-2. A stunned Phoenix stared defeat, although Kev managed a win over Jay to make it 6-3. But that was as close as it got as Treehouse, inspired by three successes each for Mark and Paul, took all the remaining frames for an excellent win, which moved them into that coveted third place on frame difference. Inn the Pink A, just a point behind, hosted Dreamers A in the Patch, which was awash with Irish revellers ramping up the atmosphere on St Patrick’s Day.
Pink started well and raced into a 3-1 lead, only for Tommy and Gav to take quick frames and level the score. It didn’t last, though, as the home team won the next two to regain the lead. Graham and then Rick took the next two to make it seven for Inn the Pink - and the points were safe. But Dreamers made the score look more respectable with the last two frames. Phoenix Potters have moved up a few league places in recent weeks, but they faced a difficult match at Palms Bar B. Although making a good start, they quickly found themselves 4-2 down with their backs to the wall. They are made of stern stuff down in Los Abrigos, though, and after a pep talk from captain Geoff, or maybe a few shots of Dubonnet, they promptly won the next four to ensure a draw. However, Palms’ Graeme beat Eric and it was 6-5 going into the final frame, which saw Shammy take on Geoff. It was tense stuff as both players did their utmost not to slip up. In the end, Geoff kept his nerve and won the frame and the match, enabling his team to
Division 2 results
Division 1 Results Exiles B Gaffers A Inn The Pink A Palms Bar B The Phoenix Terrace Bar B Division 1 Table
3-9 8-4 7-5 5-7 3-9 5 - 7
Tenerife Hammers A Waterfall Rebels Dreamers A Phoenix Potters Treehouse A Terrace Bar A
Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Gaffers A 20 17 3 0 170 70 100 54 2 Tenerife Hammers A 21 16 4 1 165 87 78 52 3 Treehouse A 22 10 4 8 139 125 14 34 4 The Phoenix 21 10 4 7 132 120 12 34 5 Inn The Pink A 21 10 3 8 132 120 12 33 6 Palms Bar A 21 9 5 7 132 120 12 32 7 Waterfall Rebels 20 7 5 8 115 125 -10 26 8 Phoenix Potters 19 8 1 10 112 116 -4 25 9 Palms Bar B 21 7 4 10 115 137 -22 25 10 Terrace Bar B 20 7 4 9 106 134 -28 25 11 Dreamers A 20 6 5 9 118 122 -4 23 12 Exiles B 20 5 5 10 106 134 -28 20 13 Terrace Bar A 22 5 3 14 110 154 -44 18 14 The Peacocks 19 3 7 9 100 128 -28 16 15 Tenerife Hammers C 19 3 3 13 84 144 -60 12 climb above their opponents. This week also saw the battle of Amarilla Golf with Terrace Bar B playing Terrace Bar A - a high-pressure clash that even tempted Marky P to fly back to the Island to play. The A team have been out of sorts this season, but they put in a good performance and raced into a good lead. After eight frames they were 5-3 up, but the B team, sprinkled with some good players, started to pick frames up. By the time the last game came around, the A team were edging it 6-5. Chris took on A team captain Adi looking for an individual
win, and a draw for his team. He had beaten Adi earlier in the match, but he seemed nervous and shots were getting away from him. In contrast, Adi played with confidence and assurance, which earned him the win and a massive three points for his team. Tenerife Hammers A kept up the pressure on league leaders Gaffers A with a solid victory against Exiles B in Silencio. The champions have missed Wes over the last few weeks, but he was quickly in the groove again after his Asian holiday. The 9-3 win keeps them on the coat-tails
Next Door Picasso’s A Sporting Jester B Treehouse B
2 - 10 Bluebell A 6 - 6 Inn The Pink B 9-3 Tenerife Pool Tables 4-8 Waterfall Jokers
Division 2 table
Table 1 Sporting Jester A 2 Bluebell A 3 Waterfall Jokers 4 Inn The Pink B 5 Gaffers B 6 James Place 7 Picasso’s A 8 Hoppys Bar 9 Tenerife Pool Tables 10 Next Door 11 Sporting Jester B 12 Dreamers B 13 Treehouse B 14 The Crown
P 19 20 19 18 18 17 18 19 18 18 18 18 18 18
W D L F A +- PTS 17 2 0 169 59 110 53 13 2 5 138 102 36 41 12 3 4 134 94 40 39 10 7 1 129 87 42 37 10 3 5 126 90 36 33 9 3 5 122 82 40 30 8 3 7 114 102 12 27 7 2 10 112 116 -4 23 6 2 10 93 123 -30 20 6 0 12 104 112 -8 18 6 0 12 91 125 -34 18 3 2 13 84 132 -48 11 2 3 13 88 128 -40 9 2 2 14 32 184 -152 8
of Gaffers, who had a much harder game against Waterfall Rebels. Maybe the Guinness was making a difference as the Rebels pushed them all the way. But Gaffers A are not league leaders for nothing and they picked up another important three points. In Division Two, the battle is on for second place because Sporting Jester A look to have the title sewn up. Bluebell A are currently occupying second spot, and they were playing Next Door bar, who have improved in recent weeks and have been picking points up. However Bluebell put on a master class and were soon 5-2 up. The home team couldn’t get a foot-hold and, before they knew it, the visitors had won the final five frames for a convincing victory, especially with Ian, Mick and Al all winning three games each. I bet Archie got some stick on the way home! Waterfall Jokers, who have moved up the league nicely and are ready to pounce in third place, visited Treehouse B on Tuesday. Jokers took a
quick lead, but Treehouse grabbed a few frames and, as they entered the final four frames, it was just 5-3 to the visitors with Treehouse still in it. But Jonesy and then Mark moved through the gears and took the two frames the away team needed for the win, Mark being their player of the night. Sporting Jester B, who haven’t been able to emulate their A team this season, find themselves near the bottom of the table. They faced Tenerife Pool Tables, just a couple of places above them, and on paper it looked like an even match. But Jesters always had the edge and were worthy 9-3 winners and full of confidence for their next match. The final game of the night was Picasso’s A against Inn the Pink B, who are 10 points ahead in the league and were favourites. But Picasso’s were in the mood to play pool and matched their opponents every step of the way. And despite Inn the Pink’s efforts, it just didn’t happen for them and the game finished with points shared.
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Premier Preview
20th March - 26th March 2015
55 CW
FA Cup Preview
City slide creates opening By Adi Benson
A FEW weeks ago, it looked like a two-horse race for first and second places in the Premier League. But recent results have conspired to leave Man City back in the scramble for a Champions League place, with just four points between fifth and second place. We are at the business end of the season and a few teams need to find an extra gear this weekend.
Man City v West Brom It’s not a good time to be a City fan because the wheels appear to be coming off. A loss at Burnley and then defeat in the Champions League has seen their season really lose pace. They cannot afford to drop any more points as their rivals are now in a position to move above them, so has become a mustwin game. But have they got a fight left in them? West Brom have gone from strength to strength under Tony Pulis. He has started at the back and stopped them conceding goals, and he has also brought out the best in striker Brown Ideye. He was nearly shipped out on transfer deadline day, but right now he looks a real player. His goal last weekend was top drawer, and the Baggies will not fear City one little bit. Prediction: Draw
Newcastle v Arsenal I have been saying for weeks now that Newcastle seem to have taken an early holiday. Their last few games have been poor, and they do not seem up for it. They are now slipping down the league and could fall further, depending on results this weekend, and it must be infuriating for fans. I expect Ayoze, heavily-linked with a move to Man City, to start against Arsenal. The Gunners have turned a corner and were unlucky to go out to Monaco in midweek. According to Jose Mourinho, Arsenal are still in the title race as they move to within seven points of Chelsea, but I’m not convinced. This is a good test for their title credentials. Prediction: Away win
Southampton v Burnley The Saints are still in the hunt for a Champions League place after a gritty draw against Chelsea, and they will fancy these three points. They have a sound defence, but goals have been lacking recently and, given their opponents defensive woes, this could be a good opportunity for their forwards to begin scoring again. After last week’s win against City, Burnley will still be flying high with confidence, but St Marys is a difficult place to visit for a result. If they can keep out a strong attacking team like City, they will feel they can do it again against shot-shy Southampton. Prediction: Home win
Tottenham v Leicester To label Tottenham’s defeat at Man Utd a bad day at the office is an understatement. It has been a while since I’ve seen a team buckle so easily in the first half. They could have gone level on points with United, but they made them look good and will need a massive improvement if they are to stay in the running for fourth spot. Leicester are still not dead and buried, but the grave is being dug! They are seven points from safety and really needed a win against Hull, instead of the draw they attained. If they can rediscover their early-season form, they might pull off a great escape. But I can’t see it. Prediction: Home win
West Ham v Sunderland It seems the speculation concerning Sam Allardyce’s future is affecting his team after yet another defeat, this time by Arsenal. From challenging for a European place, they have slipped to 10th and are in danger of falling even further. But this clash is a good chance foe them to put the brakes on. Sunderland have another new manager at the helm, Dick Advocaat, albeit until the end of the season. Normally, when a new boss comes in, you see a reaction from the players and some positive results. But I am not sure they have the stomach for the fight now. This game will be the acid test, and three points are badly needed. Prediction: Away win
Liverpool v Man Utd It’s a big game anyway, but this weekend has added pressure because Liverpool could move above their rivals, or United could take a big step towards cementing fourth place. Liverpool are still unbeaten in 2015, yet they looked tired against Blackburn in the FA Cup and didn’t look much fresher in the win at Swansea. But you can guarantee they will be up for this. United looked good at the weekend, although Spurs were poor opposition. They won this fixture at Old Trafford and they will be anxious to complete the double as it has been a while since they have had full bragging rights. Prediction: Home win
QPR v Everton QPR seem to love a relegation fight because they are again in a real battle to preserve their Premier League status - just four points from safety. They have won just once away this season and that has been their downfall. The goals have also dried up in recent weeks, which makes their task much harder. Everton did themselves a huge favour with a good win against Newcastle, taking a mammoth step towards safety, and they also have the bonus of enjoying a good Europa League run. It didn’t affect their performance last week, but they have had a long trip this week and tiredness could play a big part. Prediction: Home win
Hull v Chelsea A goalless draw with Leicester tells you everything you need to know about Hull’s current form. They are three points above the drop-zone and will have wanted an easier game. But they should take inspiration from Burnley, who beat City, and play without fear. An early goal could be key, and they must go for it. Chelsea have not been at their best, and players such as Costa and Fabregas are coming under increased pressure from the fans. So are the cracks starting to show? They still have a decent lead and a game in hand (against Leicester), but if they drop any more points, it could really open up the title race. Prediction: Away win
Stoke v Crystal Palace Stoke must be unhappy with their performance against West Brom and will be glad to be back at the Britannia, where they have been so strong this season. They are sitting in eighth place, but lose this one and they could drop two places. They will make sure they are hard to break down and hope that Peter Crouch continues his recent scoring run. Palace, although not mathematically safe, must believe they have done enough to stay up. And with that strong showing against QPR, there is real optimism at the club. Prediction: Draw
Aston Villa v Swansea Villa come into this game on the back of a good performance against Sunderland, but let’s be honest: the opposition were woeful. Not taking anything away from Villa because you can only beat what is in front of you, but this will be a much sterner task, Agbonlahor and Benteke are coming into form at the right time and are a handful for defences. If the goals keep coming, they will survive. Swansea will be disappointed not to have got anything against Liverpool, despite playing some good football. But if they can produce a similar level of play and energy, the three points here are theirs for the taking. Prediction: Away win
CW 56
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www.canarianweekly.com 20th March -26th March 2015