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Issue 913

Inheritance tax rebate?

31st July - 6th August 2015

Inside this week...

NEARLY a year after being ordered to comply with an EU law, the Spanish Government is finally refunding Brits who incorrectly paid inheritance tax (IHT) in Spain.

Continued on page 3

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Thousands in line for tax windfall...

Contiuned from front.

Like all tax matters here, every case is different. But essentially, if you are a non-resident who inherited assets in Spain, or received them as a donation and you have paid tax on them in the last few years, then you could get a refund.

Last September, the European Court of Justice decreed that Spain contravened European Union law by treating residents and non-residents differently with regard to tax on inheritance and donations.

In essence, European Union law classifies all EU residents as being equal, regardless of where they reside. The ruling means, for example, that a resident of Italy who inherits from Spain should pay the same tax as a Spanishborn national, or an Italian with Spanish residency.

Prior to the September ruling, most residents paid as little as 1% inheritance tax, while non-residents or expats were charged as much as 35%, even when a property or assets were passed to a spouse.

The ruling means that non-residents who have inherited assets in Spain, or have received them

as a donation in the past, are able to apply for a refund of the sum they were overcharged in tax.

Now that Spain is starting to play ball, the Government is bracing itself for a flood of claims. This is t h e situa-

tion that can lead to a claim.

If you are a non-resident and have paid inheritance or donation tax during the past four years, you can now claim a refund of the difference between the amount of tax you were charged by the Spanish State and the amount they would have been charged if the relevant Autonomic Community tax reduction had been applied.

As many as 60,000 Britons, who could be owed more than halfa-billion euros, are believed to have paid too much IHT. But only around 30,000

could be eligible to make a claim, because of Spanish legal timelimits.

The average repayment is 25,000 euros according to Spanish Legal Reclaims, a Barcelona-based law firm which specialises in helping non-residents reclaim overpaid tax.

Luis Cuervo, CEO of Spanish Legal Reclaims, said: “Losing a loved one is hard enough, but to then receive an unfair tax bill rubs salt in the wound. Yet for years, this is what happened to thousands of Britons inheriting holiday homes in Spain.

“Spain’s authorities have agreed that nonresidents who inherited a Span-

ish property during the past 4½ years can claim back the tax they paid. But doing so is a complex and daunting task, as there is no single form to fill in.

“Inheritors can only claim once and there are time limits for claiming, so it’s essential they seek expert legal advice to ensure they get it right first time.

“Spanish Legal Reclaims is representing hundreds of families from across the EU who find themselves in this position. And since the ECJ’s landmark ruling, our firm has had a 100% success rate, securing a full refund of tax in every case.”

Joan Ridsdale, 62, was a victim of overpaying IHT. She told the Daily Telegraph she has just had a 16,000-euro re-

fund for the tax she was forced to pay when her husband, Gordon, died unexpectedly.

The tax bill, which came as a complete shock to Mrs Ridsdale, triggered a chain of events that led her to sell her home in County Durham, along with both of the Spanish properties they owned, and various other assets.

In 2010, her husband died and Mrs Ridsdale’s problems began.

“As soon as I could face it, I took the will to our solicitor in Spain and explained that I wanted the properties to be transferred into my name.

“I was shocked when she told me that I would be liable for IHT on both properties, and that I had six months to pay, before interest would start accruing.”

The tax bill of 14,000 euros, plus 2,000 euros in fees from her solicitor, arrived on the doormat just weeks later.

It wasn’t until 2012 that she discovered the European Court of Justice was reviewing Spain’s tax laws.

She contacted Spanish Legal Reclaims, which said the process could take years because there had not been a final ruling.

This, of course, was resolved last year and last month she was finally given a refund from the Spanish government of 14,000 euros, plus interest of 2,000 euros.

After Spanish Legal Reclaims’ fees were deducted, she received 9,500 euros.

“I’m thrilled to have some money back, because I thought it was gone for good,” she told the Daily Telegraph.

Inheritance tax laws in Spain are complicated and stressful for those involved. Normally, all taxes have to be paid within six months, and all taxes have to be paid before access to funds can be granted.

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31st July - 6th August 2015

Rajoy: The only way for us is up SPANISH Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy believes the country has a promising future, but he warns: “We cannot go back to the policies of the past. More jobs can be created, provided that no foolish steps are taken in terms of economic policy.”

Rajoy was speaking at a conference at the Club Antares de Sevilla for an event organised by the Chamber of Commerce, during which he said: “We must continue down the path we are on because we are heading in the right direction.”

After acknowledging that there was still a long way to go, he stressed that the structural reforms and tax reductions must continue if revenue so allows.

Furthermore, Rajoy

said that “expenditure containment policies should be maintained” and added: “The public deficit must be brought below 3% next year.”

The Prime Minister also confirmed that the General State Budget for 2016 will be approved today (Friday), given that “the goal is to comply with the law, offer security, maintain normality and ensure stability, because that is good for the economy.”

Rajoy told the conference: “We cannot surrender ourselves to those whose radicalism and complicities ques-

tion what is the best guarantee of our success - and that is harmony and unity among Spaniards and the path of progress, embodied by constitutional Spain.”

The regional governments, he revealed, will receive an additional seven billion euros, “which will have a knock-on effect on public services. Specifically, Andalusia will receive an additional 1.7 billion euros.”

He also announced that the regional financing issue will be discussed in 2016, because

“it has not been possible to tackle thus far, due to more pressing priorities.”

He also said there there will be “significant growth” in the Spanish economy this year, and that the growth will continue into 2016.

As for employment, he pledged that 600,000 jobs will be created, although the ultimate goal remains at 20 million people in work.

To reach that figure, he added, 500,000 jobs will need to be created during every year of the next legislature. “That is the key, and what measures the success of a country and what is enabling us to tackle all the other problems”.

According to Rajoy, private investment, domestic consumption and exports will continue to increase. Inflation will be negative in 2015 but that trend will change in 2016.

He described the first years following his appointment as Prime Minister and the devel-

opments leading up to the first half of 2014.

He explained that Spain was experiencing a perfect storm, caused by a deep recession, with three million people losing their jobs, large imbalances in the Spanish economy and financing problems.

Rajoy also maintained that his Government’s goal was to clamp down on the threat of bankruptcy and a bailout, and work towards starting to grow and create jobs.

Hence, the imbalances began to be corrected through fiscal consolidation and structural reforms (some of them far-reaching, such as the labour reform, the energy reform, the budget stability reform, the pension reform, etc.).

The main imbalances, he said, were corrected between 2012 and 2013, with the Spanish economy starting to grow slightly at the end of 2013.

The PM insisted: “We are clearly better off to-

day. The correction of imbalances continues, the deficit reduction is being maintained, inflation is under control (with the corresponding increase in competitiveness, while many people maintain the same purchasing power), exports remain at record levels and access to credit has been recovered (both for SMEs and for households and consumption).

“Right now,” said Rajoy, “we are growing faster than anybody in Europe and faster than the major economies.

Unemployment is falling at a pace of 7.4%, while affiliation to the Social Security system is growing by 3.4%.

“More people are now in work in Spain than when we came to power, and more people are now affiliated with the Social Security system in Spain than when we came to power.”

Finally, he insisted that job creation must continue to be the objective for this legislature.

Consul raises Brit issues with the new President SUPPORT for British residents and sustainable tourism topped the agenda during a recent meeting between Charmaine Arbouin, British Consul for the Canary Islands, and Fernando Clavijo Batlle, newlyelected President of the Canarian Autonomous Government.

President Clavijo heard how the local British community, consulate, local authorities and charities work together to pro-

vide support for those in need.

The President also welcomed the consulate’s efforts to promote safety among tourists and residents, including initiatives to reduce the number of preventable drownings and lost passports.

For her part, Consul Arbouin raised concerns about the impact of proposed tourism protection measures on British tourist interests on the islands.

“It is reassuring to know that Sr. Clavijo is already aware of many of the issues facing British nationals in the Canaries, including those around holiday prop-

erty rentals,” she said.

“I am encouraged by his commitment to seek a balanced and sustainable approach to tourism in the Canaries, with improvements both to infrastructure and to the quality of accommodation.”

Ms Arbouin added: “The President was particularly interested in our collaboration with local authorities and charities.

“And I would encourage British residents who have yet to register on the padrón to go to their local town hall to do so, so that they don’t miss out on vital social services they may need in future.”

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Facebook man facing a 600-euro ‘gag law’ fine ONE of the first offenders to breach Spain’s new “gag law” - a 27-year-old from Tenerife - is facing a fine of up to 600 euros for calling his local police a “class of slackers” on Facebook.

The controversial new Citizen Security Law, dubbed the “gag law”, came into force on 1st July. And the man, Eduardo D, from the eastern town of Güímar, has already fallen foul of it.

He can be fined between 100-600 euros His comment appeared on the Facebook page of Carmen Luisa Dorta, Popular Party Mayor of Güímar.

Eduardo is a member of a Facebook group in which, along with friends, he posts satirical criticisms of the local town council, according to Spanish daily, El País.

He made three comments on Facebook. In the first, criticising the money spent on police facilities in the town, he said: “The Gúímar police, who rescue pigeons and people trapped in their bathrooms (ha ha) will have even bigger facilities than the Civil Guard. What pros!”

His second comment asked whether an investigation was needed after local authorities changed the purpose of a public building in the town.

Thirdly, he referred to local police as a “class of slackers”, saying they might as well have their own little kiosks with cocktails, “a hammock and a swimming pool”.

Eduardo wrote his comments on the morning of Wednesday, 22nd July. That evening, two

police officers knocked on his door and presented him with an official complaint for “making comments on social media that showed a lack of respect and consideration for Güímar’s local police”.

Eduardo told El País he was enormously surprised to receive a police visit, and his lawyer was now dealing with the incident.

The 27-year-old said it was “madness” that he was being penalised for making “humorous comments”.

The “gag law” has been under fire for harking back to the days of Franco - limiting free speech and the right to protest peacefully.

In another “gag law” case, the national police have imposed 600-euro fines each on a group of prostitutes in Madrid, according to the blog, Más solas que nunca.

They are the first sex workers to be fined under the strict new law, which prohibits “the carrying out of acts which

Attempted murder suspects held after car strikes group THE National Police have arrested two men on suspicion of attempted murder. The men, both with police records, allegedly participated in a fight outside an “afterhours bar” in the Adeje area.

The early-morning incident saw the two men fighting with a number of other people. The disagreement escalated when the men jumped into a car and were alleged to have run over the people they had been arguing with, leaving four injured.

The events began when the two individuals, who were with an uncharged girl, got into a brawl with another group of young people, of both sexes.

One of the men held is said to be 28 and well known to the police

because of his lengthy criminal record. It is understood he had been released from prison only hours before the brawl.

Both the charged men and the girl jumped into a BMW 320 and, at speed, mounted a curb and ran over four people.

According to a witness, the driver accelerated towards the victims, who had their backs turned when they were run over.

A 36-year-old man suffered a broken arm and multiple contusions. A 22-year-old was left concussed The fourth man, a 27-year-old, was treated at the scene and then taken by ambulance to hospital. His current condition has not been released to the press.

Those inside the BMW fled before the police arrived. During their es-

cape, they hit another car a short distance from the initial incident. It was at this time that the girl who accompanied them got out of the car and fled. The two men carried on with their escape but were stopped

by National Police in El Madroñal, near the El Rodeo restaurant - over a kilometre from where the events were said to have occurred.

Local police also rushed to the scene of the accident and breath-tested the driver. He was found to be over the legal driving limit and also tested positive for cocaine.

Both men were held at the National Police station in Las Americas.

The incident occurred as people were leaving the Sunblast music festival.

threaten sexual freedom, or acts of extreme exhibitionism”.

The 600-euro fine, the highest that police can

impose for “mild crimes”, has been criticised by groups committed to fighting against sexual exploitation such as

APRAMP, who tweeted: “Sanctions like these are a step backwards in the fight against sex trafficking.”

Mayor’s modern City clean-up SANTA Cruz Mayor Jose Manuel Bermudez is being true to his election pledge to clean up the city. Literally!

This week, the city invested 256,000 euros for the purchase of 354 rubbish containers, which are more modern than the current bins - and there is no doubt that they improve the image of the streets.

Damaso Arteaga, Councillor of Community Welfare and Public Services, introducing the new fleet of containers, said: “The money is well spent.

“These containers are easier to open than the previous ones and you must remember that there were lots of people

who had real difficulties in lifting the lids of the old ones.”

Of the 354 rubbish containers, 200 are rear cargo and will go towards recycling organic waste. Forty-eight 48 units are especially for the recycling of paper and cardboard ,while 36 are for the recycling of light packaging.

The containers are distributed around the main streets of Santa Cruz, such as Francisco La Roche, La Salle, Maritima, Tres de Mayo, La Marina, Méndez Núñez, Nivaria Tejera and the Pedro de Mendoza roundabout.

Arteaga said these new designs provided citi-

zens with better use, as they have “a less cumbersome lever, compared with the previous ones”.

He added: “Also, I want to highlight the composition of the materials that have been manufactured, because they are made from 100% plant material.”

Mayor Manuel Bermudez warns that despite the efforts made by the municipalities to improve cleaning equipment and rubbish collection, “It is now up to the citizens to help us keep our city clean”.

Since 2006, some 4,125 containers have been installed, which represents an investment of 3.7 million euros.

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King’s in harmony with the Canaries FERNANDO Clavijo, President of the Canary Islands, finally met the King of Spain this week and said the monarch was “very receptive” to Canarian needs.

Clavijo was keen to speak with King Felipe about the Canarian Economic and Fiscal Regime (REF).

Speaking with the media after his meeting, he highlighted the “great knowledge” of the King on matters in the Canaries.

The new President said the meeting, which lasted about an hour, dealt with the monarch on “the need to recover” the relations of our region with the state.

He stressed the need for changes in how the

Canary Islands was funded, and wanted the REF to reflect this.

But he did accept that the REF “is not a privilege” and “compensation for the distance, by being an archipelago and being where it is was necessary”.

He emphasised “the need for the state” to see the importance of the Canary Islands in the Constitution, and recalled that the archipelago is recognised as an outermost region within the European Union.

The King and President also discussed the political context of the Islands, and the new parliament.

According to Clavijo, King Felipe conveyed his concern about the social situation of the Canary Islands, to which he replied that it was a priority of his government.

They also analysed the “expectations of eco-

nomic recovery” and growth of the archipelago.”

Clavijo was delighted to convey to the King the “love” of the Palace, and he said the King was a “joy” to the islands and stressed that the Crown “has always been” open to the important issues of the region.

Meanwhile, Clavijo said the state of relations with the central government during the last term, where his party colleague, Paulino Rivero, headed the regional government, “was neither appropriate nor good for the Islands.”

The President added: “Ultimately, we all make mistakes. But I think it was neither adequate nor good for the Canaries, nor positive for the citizens, in the way it had been seen over the past four years. Relationships must improve.”

Cup clubs fined after fans whistle at King SPANISH authorities have fined league champions Barcelona 66,000 euros and Athletic Bilbao 18,000 euros over last season’s domestic Cup Final, during which fans of the Catalan and Basque sides whistled at Spain’s King Felipe VI.

The state’s Higher Sports Council proposed the sanctions for “behaviour whose aim was to transform the sporting event into a stage for political demands through intolerant acts”.

These included “whistling the national anthem and His Majesty the King”, patron of the Copa del Rey Cup, the Council said in a statement.

It also proposed a 123,000-euro fine on the Royal Spanish Football Federation as organiser

of the final at Barcelona’s Nou Camp ground on 30th May, which Barca won 3-1.

Fans of both sides drowned out the Spanish national anthem with boos and whistles at the start of the match, as Felipe stood solemn-faced.

The controversy came at a time of high political sensitivities, with Catalan leaders campaigning for independence from Spain ahead of a key regional elec-

tion, expected in September.

The sports council’s Antiviolence Commission set various administrative fines for the whistling, and for alleged security shortcomings, including the burning of flares.

Those targeted by the fines can appeal against them to the state authorities, who will hear their claims before making a final ruling, a Council spokesman told AFP.

The Barcelona fine comprised 6,000 euros for failing to take sufficient action beforehand against the groups who called the protests, and 60,000 for security breaches.

Barcelona called the Council’s decision “unjust and unacceptable” and said it would challenge both parts of the fine.

The European and Spanish champions “will defend the freedom of expression of

its members and fans”, it said in a statement shortly after the Council announced its decision.

“The events in the Nou Camp reflected a feeling. They were not organised nor channelled by the club, but the club totally respects them.”

The commission issued an 18,000-euro fine against Athletic Bilbao for failing to crack down on fans, who announced their planned protests ahead of the match.

It also issued fines for various Catalan proindependence civil groups.

Spanish Royals set for official US visit THE King and Queen of Spain will head to Washington in six weeks for their first official White House visit.

King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia will arrive in the US on 14th September and meet with President Barack Obama the next day.

The royal couple will also visit Miami and travel to St. Augustine, Florida.

The White House says the visit reinforc-

es strong and lasting ties between Americans and Spaniards.

The 47-year-old Spanish king was proclaimed the new monarch last year, replacing his scandal-hit father, former King Juan Carlos.

King Felipe pledged to restore trust in the monarchy following allegations of corruption.

A recent poll in Spain’s El Pais newspaper shows 81% approved of Felipe’s performance, and 74% approved of Letizia, a former television presenter.

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Our very own Oasis

Beach pervert arrested ON Tuesday, Oasis Fm will celebrate 18 years of broadcasting - an anniversary I could only dream of when I played the first record at 7.30am on 4th August 1997.

As the opening bars of Dreadzone’s summer hit Little Britain (you see what I did there?) played out, I knew we were starting something important.

After years of hard work, lots of setbacks, a few dead-ends, countless tears and the odd false start, I felt we finally had something historic.

The early Nineties saw a few hourly shows in English. 40 Principales had ‘The Show’ with Barry Noble and a very wet-behind-the - ears yours truly, while Radio Bahia had a similar forerunner with Bob Preston and his gang.

In 1994, a very rawsounding station called TF1 gave way to Waves Fm, which showed there was a market for our grand idea.

But it was when Chris and John Elkington got involved that the whole concept really came together. They gave us the tools to create a proper 24-hour,

English language, radio station. The personnel have changed over the years, and it’s amazing to think that there are still a few of us originals still going!

What hasn’t changed is the format and the mantra. Oasis Fm has always been about serving the community. We wanted to give ex-pats the UK radio experience, in the same way that they craved a daily newspaper or British TV. Over the years, the competitors have come and gone. Some have literally copied the Oasis Fm format, song for song, but they were missing that vital ingredient: Community loyalty! A whole generation have grown up listening to our station, and we know what they want to listen to.

So thank you to all the hard-working presenters, sales staff and those behind the scenes who, over the years, have helped us achieve our goal of having our own independent and successful radio station.

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

SANTA Cruz police last weekend arrested a 39-year-old man, who admitted filming children in the changing rooms at Las Teresitas beach.

The holiday-maker, identified as HMM, said he recorded two youngsters with mini-video cameras inside the locker-room area.

He was collared after police, who discovered three mini-cameras and a photographic camera on him, were warned about his behaviour by the two youngsters

- a boy aged 15 and a 16-year-old girl, who realised what was happening in one of the changing rooms.

The man, said to have been in a cubicle next to the children, held the camera over the top of the partition.

When the boy protested, the man admitted offering money to the

youngsters to say nothing.

When interviewed by officers, he confessed that he used the images for his own sexual satisfaction, saying he was unable to control his impulses.

He was taken to a hospital, then to the police station, and is now in custody.

Ring road must be sorted!

“LET’S sort this out.” That’s the message from Tenerife Cabildo chief Carlos Alonso as the insular ring-road project continues to drag.

Alonso wants a super summit between the 31 mayors in Tenerife, the Cabildo and the Canary Islands Government, including the president Fernando Clavijo.

Alonso believes it is the only way to have a clear road map on the future of the project, and to have a universal agreement in where the remaining funding comes. He wants to formalise a financing agreement,

which will be offered to the Spanish Government.

The insular ring road is a project which sees a better connection between the North and the South. And even though a lot of work has been done, the project has recently encountered difficulties in obtaining financial contributions from the central executive.

The big problem is the section that would link Santiago del Teide and El Tanque, through the tunnel of Erjos. Investment in this section is estimated at over 300 million euros.

Alonso wants a swift agreement so Clavijo can push for the cash to be included in the General State Budg-

et (PGE) for 2016.

This last phase of the work has been held up numerous times and even some of the completed work needs upgrading. Leaks in tunnels and dodgy tarmacing has blighted the project.

Alonso also said they

will not change the characteristics of the environmentally-ap proved project.

The Ministry of Public Works of the Government of the Canary Islands has even proposed a reduction in the size of the Erjos tunnel to lower costs.

AENA simply soaring AENA, the Spanish airports operator, has increased its net profits in the first half of the year by a whopping 80% to 276 million euros.

It was boosted by higher air traffic and a series of one-off tax deductions, plus the integration of Luton Airport, said the company.

Aena’s core profit, or earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortisation, totalled 826 million euro in the six months to June, up 11.9% from a year earlier.

The company said its board had opted to dispute a proposal by Spain’s competition regulator that it cut airport tariffs in 2016.

Avda Claudio Delgado Diaz 73, Las Chafiras, 38639 San Miguel de Abona, Tenerife PRINTED BY: TF Print S.A. Managing Editor & Director: Chris Elkington chris.elkington@canarianweekly.com

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Canarian Weekly takes all reasonable care to check the contents of every advertisement, but cannot accept responsibility for the claims or statements made in them. Also, statements or opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Editor or Publishers. Material featured in Canarian Weekly may not be reproduced without the explicit written permission of the Editor. Copyright © 2015 Canarian Weekly

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Gibraltar’s big border beef

At last! An end to the pollution IT has been nearly four months since the Oleg Najdenov ship caught fire, sunk and polluted the seas around Gran Canaria.

The subsequent, ecological catastrophe made headline news all over Europe but this week, finally, the Ministry of Development announced the lowering of the pollution alert.

It now sits at the lowest level of 1, following a visit by the minister, Ana Pastor, to Gran Canaria.

Pastor, after chairing a meeting with those who had co-ordinated the clean-up, announced: “107 days after the ship caught fire we are now in the final part of a

satisfactory final settlement, since from today we have been able to stop pollution and prevent it in the future from any new releases from Oleg Najdenov.”

The ministry has come under fire for the time it has taken to make the wreck safe and the amount of pollution released into Canarian waters.

Although the minister appeared happy at the outcome, Pastor refused to confirm to reporters the total cost of the clean-up. It’s believed the bill is over 41 million euros.

Ten million had been budgeted for the costs incurred by Maritime Rescue and about 31 million euros for Svitzer Salvage BV, the company responsible for removing the fuel from the wreck.

Tourists sail into trouble

GIBRALTAR has complained to the EU that the long queues at the border with Spain last Thursday led to a fall in tourism revenue.

Deputy Chief Minister Dr Joseph Garcia said his Government report was presented to the EU “to draw attention to the manner in which the Spanish Government is implementing the recommendations made by the European Commission”.

He added: “The effects of these seem to be designed to cause as much disruption as possible.”

The report said: “Drop in tourism expenditure could reflect the impact of frontier delays on cross-border traffic.”

The queues, which started early in the afternoon, began when the new passport egates at the frontier going into Spain became operational.

At one point, the waiting time was as long as

40 minutes in the heat of the afternoon, but there were reports of some people having to wait up to an hour, and the queues lasting late into the evening.

But Spanish Interior Minister Jorge Fernandez Dias said the new system was intended to facilitate the transit of people and vehicles to Gibraltar and is “operating normally and 100%”.

The Gibraltar Government made it clear in another report last week that tourist expenditure on the Rock had dropped by over £111 million since 2011.

In effect, expenditure plummeted from £279.79m in 2011 to £168.04m in 2014, according to the 2014 Tourist Survey Report tabled in Parliament during the budget session.

The drop reflects “the impact of frontier delays on cross-border traffic”, together with other factors, including a weak euro against the Sterling pound and lower petrol prices.

Gibraltar’s reports to the EU are sent periodically and also carry

photographic evidence.

In a statement, the Gibraltar Government said that while the Spanish authorities may claim they were merely testing new security equipment at the frontier, the Gibraltar Government will stress that the equipment was being tested at a time which would cause the maximum disruption.

“The main impact of the delays was on persons who work in Gibraltar and who live in Spain,” said Dr Garcia including many thousands of Spanish workers who commute in and out of Gibraltar every day, as well on people coming to Gibraltar on a tourism visit or on business.

He added that the consequence of the new system being conducted by the Spanish authorities on pedestrians was felt particularly strongly by the elderly, young children and disabled persons in wheelchairs, who were made to wait to cross the border into Spain.

Meanwhile, Spain’s

Interior Minister Fernandez Diaz visited the Algeciras port last Thursday to see, firsthand, the new intelligence system in place, and gave his overwhelming consent. ”it is operating normally and 100%,” he said.

Fernandez Diaz said that the system had first come into play at the border earlier than the commitment made by Spain to the EU, with 13 booths installed in the area.

And of Gibraltar’s reference to tourism expenditure, he cautioned that the estimate was a “finger in the air” snapshot, based partly on sample interviews rather than empirical data, adding that other indicators point to resilience in Gibraltar’s tourism product.

“The number of visitors staying in hotels has increased and they are staying longer, as well as spending more,” he maintained.

“Likewise, cruise excursions are growing in number and expenditure.”

EIGHTY tourists fell ill with food poisoning on a Spanish boat trip as officials traced the source back to pasta salad served on board.

The three-hour journey took in the stunning seaport of Águilas in southern Spain, and apart from a pregnant woman, who was taken to hospital, others among the 126 passengers responded to treatment.

A free bar serving beer, Sangria and food,

was offered throughout the duration, along with live music.

It was reported that the passengers became unwell only when the boat had docked and they had disembarked on to dry land.

Unfortunately for the tour company, it was the first Saturday sail around the Spanish coast, which could affect future bookings.

Most of the passengers affected were visiting from areas in and around Murcia.

The New Minister’s healthy outlook JESUS Morera, the Canarian Government’s new Minister of Health, has already got his teeth into the job.

He has sparked a series of emergency measures to enliven his department, this week meeting with unions to propose action against waiting lists, and to solve the problem of health care for those not in the current system.

Morera, who has also met with social groups, promises he will fight hard to overturn a 2012

ruling that saw a large group of people, mainly immigrants, who have been excluded from health care for the last three years.

On Monday, he met representatives of organisations such as Doctors of the World, Amnesty International, Caritas and the Spanish Commission for Refugee Aid (CEAR).

Afterwards, the Minister pledged that the regional government would return the right to health coverage to all those who were excluded for three years - more than 40,000 people in the archipelago.

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Spain blazes while fire-fighters strike AS vast areas of Spain are being hit with blazes, forest fire-fighters went on an indefinite strike on Monday following a row over working conditions and pay.

The worst blaze of all led to more than 800 people being evacuated in the north-eastern region of Catalonia after a wildfire destroyed more than 1,235 hectares of land.

The blaze is still out of control, but authorities said weaker winds and rising humidity were helping slow its advance.

It was started accidentally by a 59-yearold farmer when he was using a straw-chopping machine, according to the regional government of Catalonia. The man turned himself in to a police station on Monday.

Elsewhere, in the north-western region of Galicia, another wildfire near the town of Navia de Suarna was stabilised late on Sunday after ravaging 431 hectares of a nature reserve.

The fire was so severe that around 50 soldiers from the Spanish army’s Military Emergencies Unit were called to the area to help, according to local media reports.

Fire-fighters bat-

tled a total of 11 blazes on Sunday in five regions - Andalusia in the south-west; Asturias, Galicia and Castile and Leon in the north, and Catalonia in the northeast.

Since 19th July, wildfires have ravaged nearly 39,000 hectares of land in Spain, according to provisional figures from the agriculture ministry.

But on Monday, firefighters from Spain’s forest fire-fighting service (BRIF) began their indefinite strike.

The fire-fighters’ association said in a statement: “Is it fair that we make such a ridiculously-paltry amount while we put our lives at risk?”

Canaries to be given a huge energy boost

THE Spanish and Canarian Governments have this week reached an agreement on the much- discussed Economical and Financial Regime (REF) plan.

Fernando Clavijo, President of the Canary Islands, and José Manuel Soria, Minister of Industry, Energy and Tourism, held positive talks at a Canaries-

Spain “summit” in Las Palmas, in which they addressed various issues.

Clavijo was delighted to get an agreement at last on the REF, which is expected to have the Royal Decree (the official signing-off) in late September. He described it as “vitally important to our financial well-being”.

The REF plan will see 4.4 billion euros spent on improving energy efficiency in Spain, of which the Canary Is-

lands will be eligible for 810 million euros from 2015-2020.

Clavijo added: “This investment is aimed at improving connectivity in the energy sector in the archipelago, with the inter-connection of La Palma-El Hierro with Tenerife; La GomeraTenerife; and Gran Canaria with Fuerteventura-Lanzarote.”

Soria said: “The aim is to better manage the growing, renewable generating capacity being introduced.”

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Clarkson and Co are back in Gear!

TOP GEAR’S Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond have signed a “landmark global deal TV deal” to present a new car show for Amazon Prime Video.

The programme, set to launch next year, could go head-to-head with the BBC’s revamped Top Gear show, presented by Chris Evans.

The former BBC hosts announced a deal with the online giant yesterday (Thursday) to present three seasons of the programme, as yet untitled, with work on the first series expected to begin this autumn.

Hammond, Clarkson and May will be working with ex-Top Gear executive producer Andy Wilman.

Clarkson, who became the famous face of Top Gear, the motoring show on which he first appeared almost

27 years ago. His contract was not renewed by the BBC earlier this year after the infamous ‘fracas’ with producer Oisin Tymon, but yesterday he said: “I feel like I’ve climbed out of a bi-plane and into a spaceship.”

He announced the deal on Twitter, saying he was “very excited” about the new show.

The news ends months of speculation about the trio’s future after they left the BBC amid much controversy following the Clarkson incident at a North Yorkshire hotel in March.

In a press release, May

joked: “We have become part of the new age of smart TV. Ironic, isn’t it?” And Hammond added: “Amazon? Oh yes. I have already been there. I got bitten by a bullet ant.”

Sources earlier in the year said ITV may have been preparing a £10m “golden handcuffs” bid to lure Clarkson away from the BBC for at least one series of a new motoring show. But it later emerged that Clarkson, 55, Hammond, 45, and 52-year-old May had been blocked from working for a rival British broadcaster for two years by a clause in

their BBC contracts.

Despite the BBC’s “non-compete” clause, the hosts reportedly believed any new show could be shown online or, if an overseas production company were used, UK terrestrial channels.

Clarkson, whose net worth is reportedly £30m, earned £14m after the BBC purchased the commercial rights to Top Gear three years ago.

Top Gear, the BBC’s biggest global brand, is believed to be worth around £50m to the corporation’s commercial arm, thanks to sales of

the programme, DVDs, books and live shows.

Clarkson earned nearly £1.5m a year as a Top Gear presenter, while the new host, revealed five weeks ago as TV’s Evans, has a three-year contract said to be worth £3m.

While the official title is still unconfirmed, Amazon Prime used the hashtag #Drive2Prime in its announcement on social media, giving rise to speculation that this could be the name.

But not all Top Gear devotees will be following the trio’s new adventures because they will have to pay £79 a

year to watch the show on Amazon’s streaming service.

One of the many unimpressed fans of the show was Becky Twynham, who tweeted: “So you now have to pay to watch Jeremy Clarkson and crew. Nah, I’ll stick to reruns of Top Gear, thanks.”

Maths student Alan Brook added: “Can we keep signing up for new 30-day free trials of Amazon Prime whenever the new Top Gear is on?

Don’t really want to pay £79/month to be honest.”

But Jack Lazarski compared the situation with watching on BBC Two: “Basically have to pay £79 for Amazon Prime just to watch the new Top Gear. Still cheaper than a TV licence I suppose.’

Last week Seattlebased Amazon, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary, surpassed Asda owner Wal-Mart Stores to become the world’s biggest retailer by market value.

Door opens for US Scouts’ gay leaders after century

A BLANKET ban on gay adult leaders of the Boy Scouts Of America has been lifted by the organisation’s governing body.

It brings closure to a policy which has deeply divided membership of the 105-year-old youth organisation.

Robert Gates, BSA President, said: “For far too long, this issue has divided and distracted us. Now it’s time to unite behind our shared belief in the extraordinary power of Scouting to be a force for good.”

The new policy comes into effect immediately and means those wanting a staff job can no

longer be denied a position on the basis of sexual orientation.

It also means those previously removed from the organisation because of the ban will be able to reapply for volunteer positions.

Mr Gates, the former US defence chief, insisted the ban was

no longer sustainable, saying the BSA was likely to be the target of lawsuits that it would probably lose.

The Mormon church, which sponsors more Scout units that any other organisation, said it was “deeply troubled” by the decision.

A statement from

the church’s Salt Lake City headquarters read: “The admission of openly-gay leaders is inconsistent with the doctrines of the Church, and what have traditionally been the values of the Boy Scouts of America.”

Church officials hinted that they would look

into the possibility of organising their own youth group.

Top BSA leaders have pledged to defend the right of any churchsponsored units to continue excluding gays as adult volunteers.

However, the Human Rights Campaign, a national LGBT-rights organisation, said the Boy Scouts should not allow church-sponsored units to continue excluding gays.

“Discrimination should have no place in the Boy Scouts. Period!” said HRC President Chad Griffin.

“BSA officials should now demonstrate true leadership and begin the process of considering a full national policy of inclusion.”

The Reverend Russell Moore, President of the

Southern Baptist Convention’s Ethics And Religious Liberty Commission, said: “It’s hard for me to believe, in the long term, that the Boy Scouts will allow religious groups to have the freedom to choose their own leaders.

“In recent years, I have seen a definite cooling on the part of Baptist churches toward the Scouts. This will probably bring that cooling to a freeze.”

Like several other major youth organisations, the BSA has seen a decline in membership in recent decades. Some conservatives split from the group following the 2013 decision to admit gay youth.

The BSA’s current membership is about 2.4 million boys and one million adults

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More earthquakes, but nothing to fear

Santa Cruz is out to poach our shoppers AT T R A C T I N G new customers to venture North to the capital has become a priority for Santa Cruz Town Hall.

THE archipelago has seen more seismic activity this week and again, there was a quake between Tenerife and Gran Canaria.

The (IGN) National Geographic Institute registered an earthquake measuring 3 on the Richter scale. The epicentre was below the deep, underwater cavern that separates the island and it’s this area that worries experts more than any other.

Activity in this region has increased over the last few years, although experts are quick to point out that the pub-

lic should not be worried.

According to IGN, the earthquake happened just after midnight on Wednesday and was 32 kilometres below the seabed.

Two days earlier, a quake occurred at 3.48am in the same area, but it was 8km deep and had a magnitude of 1.7.

There was an earlier earthquake in Canarian waters on 25th July, this time west of Fuerteventura.

The earthquake, of magnitude 2.6, occurred at 1.56am.

Authorities reel in illegal fishing haul OVER-FISHING is a modern-day curse, and authorities throughout the world are aware of the problem.

There are area, state, country and continentwide restrictions of how much fish can be hauled out of the seas, and agents are always keeping an eye on the vessels as they return to port.

This week, agents of the Nature Protection Service of the Guardia Civil (SEPRONA), of Playa de Las Americas, were busy in the Los Cristianos dock.

A random search revealed that fish weighing a total of over 178 ki-

los were caught illegally.

Inspections were carried out by agents on a vessel which had landed from El Hierro.

In collaboration with the Port Police, they discovered the boat was carrying a variety of fish, and that the necessary documentation was not in place.

Thus, the Ministry of Fisheries of the Canary Islands Government was alerted after Law 17/2003 of the Canary fishing act had been broken.

Among the illegal catch were 39 kilos of dorado, 10 kilos of eel and over 60 kilos of grouper.

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Officials have been rallying businesses to help them raise awareness in the South of Tenerife.

“Shopping Santa Cruz” is the phrase being used for the campaign, which will see prominent advertising placed close to the four-star five-star hotels in Las Americas, Los Cristianos and Costa Adeje.

Spokesperson Nayra Tacoronte said: “We have already started this cam-

paign with the cruiser liners visiting Santa Cruz, which saw us distribute a map with the services and attractions for travellers to visit.

“Last year, we handed out thousands of leaflets among the higher-end hotels in the capital, and that worked very well.

So this year, we have

are looking at taking the leap to the South.”

Tacoronte suggests this new development will be used to update the map to a 2.0 version. “The new map we deliver to the tourists will indicate the way they can reach the capital, via public transport or private vehicles,” she said.

“And, once they have reached Santa Cruz, how they can board a tour of the city and see what we have to offer.”

The free maps will show things such as where to eat, what to buy or where to go, and it will be grouped by colour and numbers.

Tacaronte added: “We put details of shops, of

services they need, such as public toilets or the location of the tourist police. Monuments, parks and museums are also included.”

The move may be seen as Santa Cruz positioning their tanks on the South’s lawn, and some shop-owners will not be happy with this move.

But tourists and residents have never had it so good in the South, with a plethora of new shopping centres giving the area a much-needed boost.

Tourists in Santa Cruz have, traditionally, travelled South and now it seems, the capital is keen for the flow to become a bit more two-way!

Rock-bottom pay-day for Canaries workers THERE was good news and bad news for workers in the Canary Islands this week.

The average wage in the archipelago went up, but we are nearly rock-bottom of the pay league.

The gross annual salary in Spain actually declined in 2014, and the Canaries escaped this trend. We recorded an increase of 4%, but in terms of salary, only workers in Extremadura are paid less.

The National Statistics Institute (INE) has published the 2014 Survey of Labour Cost, corresponding to a study revealing that the average salary of the Canaries stood at 18,092 euros at the end of the year, which was almost 700 euros more than 12 months before.

That means the average monthly wage is just a few euros over 1,500 a month. The rise in the Canaries follows two consecutive years of decline.

The national average stood at 21,782 per year, 0.2% less than in 2013 and at 1,815 euros a month.

Despite this progress, the remuneration of workers in the islands

is almost 9,000 euros below that received by the Community of Madrid, which, as you would expect, has the highest salaries.

In the whole of Spain, the difference between earnings in industries was remarkable.

For example, employees in the catering

industry on average received 18,500 euros gross per year, while it was 79,676 euros for those in the electricity and gas fields.

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Minimum marriage age is now up to 16 SPAIN has raised the minimum age of marriage from 14 to 16 in a bid to crack down on forced marriage and sexual exploitation.

It comes months after the Spanish Government raised the age of sexual consent from 13 to 16 years.

But it still means that over-16s must have parental consent or judicial authorisation to wed because the legal marrying age in most cases is still 18. Forced marriage happens when one or both people do not consent.

The UN and children’s charities had urged Spain to bring the figures in line with other European countries, arguing that the law left children vulnerable to abuse.

Ana Sastre, from Spain’s Save the Children group, previously said: “Fundamentally it’s a measure of protection to avert possible forced marriages, sexual exploitation or offences against children, especially girls.”

Unicef also welcomed the change after years of campaigning, raising concerns over interrupted education and abuse, alongside the UN Committee on the

Rights of the Child and Council of Europe.

Until last Thursday, 14-year-olds were permitted to marry with permission from a judge, while those aged 16 or over needed parental consent.

Same-sex marriage supporters celebrate the Supreme Court’s decision - Spain became the third country in the world to legalise samesex marriage in 2005.

Few under-16s have married in Spain in recent years - just five last year and two in 2013, according to official statistics.

Since 1975, 28,690 minors have married in

Spain and the highest peak was recorded in 1979, with 2,837 such unions involving 2,763 girls.

High youth-unemployment rates, combined with the recession, means that more young Spaniards are living with their parents and delaying tying the knot until much later - 37 on average for men and 34 for women.

Couples from Spain’s Roma community traditionally marry younger than other groups, but leaders believe it is time to change.

Mariano González, manager of the Roma Union of Madrid, told

El Pais: “We’re in the 21st century and it’s normal for young people to marry later.

“In past decades, it was normal for any couple, whether Gypsy or not, to marry younger. Although our own tradition is what it is, we are now marrying later. This law is a step forward for the times we live in.”

Marriage and civil partnerships is legal from the age of 16 with parental consent, and 18 without, in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. While in Scotland, people can marry from 16 with no permission needed.

Vodafone wield the axe UP to 1,300 jobs at Vodafone’s Spanish unit will vanish as the company integrates with cable operator Ono. But poor recent financial performance also played a role in the cull.

The operator has 6,000 employees on its Spanish books following its acquisition last year of Ono, according to Reuters.

The deal was a key part of Vodafone’s quad-play strategy, an approach it has also adopted in other European markets.

Vodafone will begin negotiations with employee representa-

tives on 1st September over a programme that could see nearly 25% of its workforce affected.

In addition to the Ono integration, the redundancies result from “the drop in sales and EBITDA (core earnings) of both companies in recent years, together with large investments in next-generation networks”, said a statement.

Vodafone Spain has definitely under-performed in recent years, even relative to the company’s European business, which has struggled as a whole.

Vodafone Group agreed to pay 7.2 billion euros to acquire Ono in March 2014, and it is now integrating the cable operator with its own operations.

Music sales stream ahead Luxury holiday STREAMING has saved Spain’s music market, according to a new report from Spanish industry association Promusicae, which cites gains in streaming of almost 40% in the first six months of 2015, compared with the same period last year.

Overall, music sales in Spain from January to June totalled 70.6 million euros.

The Promusicae report, released on Monday, said that for the first time in the country’s history, the Spanish music industry generated more income from digital sources, including Spotify, Deezer, Napster and YouTube,

than from physical sources: 53.9% against 46.1%.

Meanwhile, the Spanish music industry is to observe “A Day Without Music” protest against concert tax.

Promusicae called subscription services and ad-supported streaming a “salvation” for a music industry sunk by piracy and an overall economic crisis.

The positive outlook for 2015 followed good news that came at the end of 2014, when Spain achieved its first yearover-year gain in music sales in more than a decade.

Spain’s current numbers are still far from

those achieved in 2001, which were followed by a dip in music sales of more than 80%.

The new report found streaming to be the only form of music consumption on the rise in Spain. Physical sales dipped over the first six months of the year to 31.6 million euros, downloads were down 3.7% from this item last year; and consumers continued to lose interest in ring tones and other mobile phone music products.

“The strength of streaming allows the Spanish recording sector to maintain a certain hope, entering the

second and decisive semester,” Promusicae sources said, citing holiday sales and the performance of Apple Music as decisive factors for the year-end outcome in Spain.

At the beginning of 2015, Promusicae debuted a weekly chart that combines track streams and downloads to reflect “a more meaningful picture of the Spanish phonographic scene”.

Alejandro Sanz’s album Sirope, and Gente de Zona’s track La Gozadera, featuring Marc Anthony, are currently at the top of those respective album and song charts.

firm goes bust

A COMPANY specialising in luxury holiday-lets has gone bust - on one of the busiest tourist months of the year.

Families arrived on Ibiza to find their holiday plans ruined after Essex-based International Villas stopped trading at the weekend, going into voluntary liquidation.

A holiday rentals’ association in Ibiza, where the firm is believed to manage around 50 luxury lets, said several fam-

ilies - several thought to be British - had contacted it at the weekend to seek emergency alternatives.

The Essex company’s website and Facebook page were down on Wednesday. A message on its website from insolvency specialists Sharma & Co, read: “It is with great sadness, due to unforeseen circumstances, the company has now ceased to trade and the directors have instructed Sharma & Co to assist with a view to placing the company into creditors’ voluntary liquidation.”

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French farmers blocking routes FARMERS in France have been trying to block farm products coming in from Germany and Spain since Sunday evening as part of a wider protest against falling prices.

They have used trucks to block six routes from Germany to prevent trucks with agricultural products coming in, French news agency AFP reported on Monday.

“We let the cars and everything that comes from France pass,” said Franck Sander, a representative of a farmers’ union, who said that around 1,000 farmers took part in the protest.

Farmers also used tractors to block the road near the Spanish border.

Sander said that German food prices were lower because eastern European workers, with

lower wages, were employed there.

The French government had announced an aid package of 600m euros last week, but this failed to stem the unrest, which included road blockades, dumping manure, and protesting in supermarkets. The farmers say the prices they get for milk and meat have dropped because of the higher margins from the supermarkets and cheap imports.

Changing consumption patterns, the end of the EU’s milk quota regime, a Russian embargo on western products, and lower demand from China, also play a role.

French Prime Minister Manuel Valls said last week: “The Government hears these farmers’ despair and cries of revolt. They are, after all, at the heart of our economy and our world “But anger doesn’t permit them to do anything they want.”

EU farm ministers will

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31st July - 6th August 2015

hold a special meeting on the issue in September.

Last week, Belgian farmers also protested against low milk prices. “The problem is that the price of milk is around 25 cents, and we need around 35 to 40 cents to break even,” said one farmer.

“We are losing money, we cannot repay loans and we don’t know what to do.”

Milk quotas were scrapped at the end of March. A few days before the quota regime ended, EU commissioner Phil Hogan had said the market prospects for farmers were “encouraging”.

But the end of the quota seems to have led to an increase in production and contributed to a lower price.

The European Milk Board, a federation of European dairy farmers and farmers’ lobbies, is now arguing for a temporary milk quota to be installed.

THE Jehovah’s Witnesses Church in Australia is embroiled in a huge scandal involving child sex after failing to report more than 1,000 alleged abusers to the police, an inquiry has heard.

Instead, the Church itself is said to have handled all the cases, some dating back to the Fifties.

One elder told the hearing that notes relating to abuse claims were destroyed to prevent them from being discovered.

Australia began a national inquiry into child sexual abuse in 2013, after claims of abuse in the Catholic Church.

Members of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, whose remit includes religious groups, NGOs and state-care providers, say more than 4,000 victims have come forward.

The commission has heard allegations of abuse taking place within the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Jewish community, as well as schools and children’s homes.

Angus Stewart, counsel

for the commission, said that of 1,006 alleged perpetrators of child-sexual abuse identified by the Jehovah’s Witnesses Church, “not one was reported by the church to secular authorities”.

The Church dismissed 401 members following internal abuse hearings, but more than half were later reinstated, the inquiry was told.

One Church member, identified only as BCB, testified to the commission, saying she was sexually assaulted by an elder as a teenager, and suffered depression as a result.

“The abuse changed who I was,” she said. “It destroyed my confidence and my self-esteem.”

Another woman, given the pseudonym BCG, will give evidence that she was abused by her father, but forced by Church authorities to

confront him about the allegations, Mr Stewart said.

Her father responded by blaming her for “seducing him”.

Max Horley, one Jehovah’s Witnesses elder, who handled BCB’s complaint, admitted he destroyed notes about her allegations in case they fell into the “wrong hands”.

“We do not want our wives knowing our stuff - what sort of things we are dealing with,” Mr Horley told the hearing, adding that they wanted to limit the number of congregation members who knew about it.

The Church would not report cases of abuse to the police, but would encourage the victims to report it, he said, although his understanding was “a little bit unclear because I’ve never had to do it”.

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Olive oil costing more as harvests are ‘worst-ever’ A COMBINATION of drought and disease has pushed the price of olive oil up 10% this year, with suppliers warning that harvests are the worst they have seen.

The Italian government has declared a “state of calamity” in the provinces of Lecce and Brindisi on the heel of the country, where olive groves are being attacked by a bacterial disease nicknamed “olive ebola”.

As many as one million centuries-old olive trees could be felled in one of the most picturesque tourist spots of Italy in an attempt to contain the problem.

The next harvest from southern Europe is not expected until September, but fears of a third poor harvest in a row in Spain and Italy continue to push up wholesale prices of remaining stocks over the summer.

The cost of the raw

material has been increasing for two years as crops have been hit by a drought in Spain, the world’s biggest producer of the oil, and the bacterial disease Xylella fastidiosa, which is destroying trees in Italy.

Analysts are expecting prices to remain high as demand is increasing. Retailers and distributors wanted to buy 12% more olive oil than exporters were able to deliver last month, according to industry insiders.

Buyers in Latin America have turned to Europe in the wake of poor harvests over the Atlantic, while eastern Europeans have also been using increasing quantities of olive oil.

The other two large olive oil producers, Greece and Tunisia, had good yield and production, but not enough to compensate for the slump in Spain and Italy.

In the UK, heavy price competition between retailers, led by the rise of discounters Aldi and Lidl, has helped keep

prices relatively low for shoppers.

But retailers and processors have this year been forced to pass on increases as the cost of the raw material from Italy has hit a 10-year high.

The average retail price of a litre of extra virgin olive oil has risen from £6.32 in December to £6.95 this month, according to trade journal the Grocer.

One olive oil supplier told the Guardian: “Retailers and suppliers hold a lot of stock, and contracts are signed for six months or a year, so volatility in the market can take a while to feed through to supermarket shelves.

“Retailers absorbed price rises earlier in the year because they were pegged by discounters but there has been absolutely no let-up and we’re now in a crisis situation.

“Until this year, I would have said this was just the vagaries of the olive oil market. But nobody has seen it this

bad. I don’t know that I would go as far as to blame global warming but clearly, three years of bad harvest would be almost unknown.”

The EU’s health and food safety commissioner, Vytenis Andriukaitis, visiting southern Italy this week amid concern about the disease which can also threaten citrus and grape crops - said it was an emergency situation.

“Every day matters, because every day is a day in which we are putting the healthy olive trees of Puglia at risk,” he stressed.

The EU has warned that there would be serious consequences for supply chains if the disease spreads.

Olive harvests work on a cycle in which trees generally produce a strong harvest one year and then weaker results the following year as the trees take a bit of rest.

Last year should have been a strong season in Spain, but fierce hot and dry weather meant yields were lower than anticipated. This year again, the country suffered from a dry and fiercely hot spring, when the olives flower, raising fears of another poor crop.

Lourdes Negrillo, from Vallejo, a producer from the Jaén province in southern Spain, said: “It didn’t rain as much as it should’ve done in the spring, and that doesn’t help with the feeling about this next crop. I think that the new crop won’t be as bad as last year but probably the olives will be smaller and have less quantities of oil. If it rains in September and October then we will get a bit more. It will be a different picture.”

Vito Martielli, an analyst at Rabobank, said good weather conditions during the next few months would be crucial for Spain: “In the coming months, prices are expected to be sustained and, in particular, the premium extra virgin olive oil, which is experiencing even stronger price increases in Italy.”

Gaddafi son’s death sentence SAIF al Islam Gaddafi, son of former dictator Colonel Gaddafi. has been sentenced to death by a Libyan court.

Saif, who was not present, was convicted during a mass trial in Tripoli of murder and inciting genocide during the country’s 2011 uprising.

He is being held in the southern town of Zintan by a rebel group that opposes the government in Tripoli and refuses to hand him over.

Eight others, including former Libyan spy chief Abdullah al Senussi, were also sentenced to death.

For three decades Senussi, who is in government custody, was Colonel Gaddafi’s chief enforcer, accused of oppression at home and terrorism abroad.

Six other Gaddafi-era figures were sentenced to life in prison, while four were cleared of charges.

Saif, educated at the London School of Economics and the best known of Colonel Gaddafi’s eight children, is also wanted by the International Criminal Court on charges of crimes against humanity.

He was once tipped by Western governments to one day lead the country towards democracy. But he refused

to abandon his father when protests erupted in several Libyan cities in early 2011.

Colonel Gaddafi’s four-decade rule was eventually brought to an end by the six-month uprising and ensuing civil war, with the UK and its NATO partners carrying out airstrikes against the Gaddafi regime.

Colonel Gaddafi was eventually captured and killed by rebel fighters in his hometown of Sirte in October 2011.

A month later, Saif was found by fighters from the Zintan brigade trying to cross into Niger.

He has been held ever since.

Three of Colonel Gaddafi’s sons were killed during the uprising, including former national security adviser Mutassim, who was found hiding alongside his father.

The ex-dictator’s widow, Safiya, and three of their children, fled to Algeria in August 2011 as rebel forces seized Tripoli. They have since been granted asylum.

Since Colonel Gaddafi’s death, Libya has slid into chaos, and hundreds of different militias have been fighting for control.

It is currently divided between an Islamist militia-backed government in the west, which has seized Tripoli, and an elected parliament and government, based in the country’s east.

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By Mariano Zunino Siri

TO exercise our own rights, we sometimes need the help of the State to create or develop the conditions to execute them, without having to sue another person.

When the petition to carry out these acts is asked to the Courts, this is called Voluntary Jurisdiction. And in July, the new Voluntary Jurisdiction Act came into force.

The Legislative Power says that this Law regulates the files of Voluntary Jurisdiction to be organised by Courts, which means there are other types of Voluntary Jurisdiction (not judicial).

Basically, the Volun-

31st July - 6th August 2015

The VOLUNTARY JURISDICTION ACT

tary Jurisdiction outcome is the guardianship of execution of legal acts that may facilitate its exercise.

In these cases, the judge’s function is not a judicial act to declare the right of the parties, but to verify, or create the legal conditions in favour of the promoter, to modify their legal relations, or guarantee new ones facing the future.

The Voluntary Jurisdiction was regulated until July by the (old) Legal Proceeding Law. When the new Legal Proceeding Law 1/2000 came into being in 2001, it changed the old one, with the exception of Voluntary Jurisdiction.

Fifteen years, later the Law became true.

The new Law not only gives power to the judges but also, in some cases, to other legal functionaries such as Court Secretaries, Notaries

or Registrars. In some cases the petitioner can choose a Notary or a Registrar instead of the judge.

The Law has also modified (among others) the Civil Registry Act and Notary Regulations Act. According to this, the Civil Marriage can be celebrated before a Judge of Peace, Court Secretary, Mayor, Diplomatic Clerk or Notary.

Notaries will also be able to act in some mutual agreement in divorce cases. For instance, if there are no children, and the couple are assisted by a lawyer.

There will be more to say about this law, applicable in civil and commercial matters. I will return to this matter in future columns.

Mariano Zunino Siri is a registered lawyer at Tenerife Bar Association. Email: marianozuninosiri@gmail.com

Tourism gold for Spain SPANISH tourism set a record in the first half of the year, when foreign spending by holiday visitors reached nearly 28.3 billion euros - a 7.4% rise from the same period in 2014.

The good news comes on the back of record arrival figures, making 2015 a banner year for tourism in Spain.

The new data shows that average daily spending grew 4.2% compared with the first half of 2014, while average spending per tourist also rose 3.1%.

Visitors from the US represented the greatest

increase in foreign tourist spending from the same period last year.

The figures are part of the Tourist Spending Survey (EGATUR), conducted by the Industry, Energy and Tourism Ministry.

United Kingdom tourists, the largest community of visitors to Spain, left the most amount of money, 5.7bn euros,

which was a 9.8% rise from last year.

German visitors spent a collective 4.4bn (up 0.5%), and the French forked out 2.7bn, representing a significant 12.8% improvement.

Spain has the world’s most competitive tourism industry, but the largest increase in spending came courtesy of US visitors,

who handed over 26.3% more on their holidays than last year.

This coincides with a 15.7% surge in American tourism to Spain between January and June, fuelled by an appreciating dollar against the euro. This group spent 1.6bn euros during their Spanish holidays.

Catalonia, the most-

visited region in Spain in the first half of the year, also took home the biggest share of tourists’ money, 6.4bn euros, billion,which was up 6.7% from last year.

Next came the Canary Islands, with 6.2bn and Andalusia (4.4bn). But the biggest increase in tourist spending was felt in the Madrid region, at 11.4%.

Spain tops the scam countries A RECENT survey named Spain as

Europe’s worst country for tourist rip-offs... with over 20% of British travellers having fallen victim.

A financial comparison site asked 2,000 British travellers, who had been to Europe in the past month, and that 21.5% had been scammed while in Spain.

Almost 15% said they had been targeted in France, while 10% said they had been conned in Italy.

Overpriced taxis were the most common scam, with 37% admitting they had been overcharged.

But 23% had been pickpocketed while on holiday, and the safest places to visit were Armenia and Cyprus.

Top-10 con countries Spain: 21.5%; France: 14.8%; Italy: 10.2%; Turkey: 8.4%; Austria: 8.1%; Greece: 7.5%; Belgium: 7%; UK: 5.4%; Armenia: 4.4%; Cyprus: 4.4%.

www.canarianweekly.com 31st July - 6th August 2015

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www.canarianweekly.com

Business

By Laura Mann

of Blacktower Financial Management (International) Limited.

AT what age would you ideally like to retire? Do you already have a retirement plan in place? Have you any idea of what the cost, in real terms is, or, more importantly, how you will fund your retirement?

Whichever country we live in, the retirement age looks set to continue to creep up. And the State Pension’s value, wherever you are, continues to be eroded by inflation and/or Government cut-backs.

Private savings therefore, and plenty of them, will be needed to secure a decent standard of living in retirement.

Okay, so if you have worked in the UK, and paid National Insurance contributions for 30 years (full stamp), then you´ll be entitled to receive a State Pension from the UK, currently at the grand old age of between 65 and 67 years [assuming, of course, that the State Pension is still in existence by the time you get there].

The maximum amount a single claimant can expect to receive today is £115.95 per week, and of course this can be transferred overseas, which on today´s exchange rate is the equivalent of 166.43 euros (721.20

31st July - 6th August 2015

Retirement planning - it’s never too soon!

monthly, 8,654.40 annually).

Not the best news for those of us who have actually contributed … but what of those of us who haven’t, and will this be enough?

In Spain, to be eligible to claim a full State Pension (Pension por Jubilacion Ordinaria) you’ll have to have made contributions for at least 35 years, but this is currently under review, with the expectation that this will be increased to 40 years of contributions.

It is also anticipated that the Pension age will be increased from 65 to 67. The payments you´ll be eligible to receive, however, is based on two key factors: the number of years paying in, and also the size of the contributions (base de cotizacion).

The absolute minimum (with less than 15 qualifying years contributions) may entitle you in Spain for the Welfare Pension, which

is currently set at 340 euros a month (but paid 14 times a year so, annually, 4,756 a year).

In real terms, this level of income, quite clearly, is not sufficient for any reasonable standard of living. Putting all this

into perspective, if you are an expat, with no real possibility of either a UK State Pension, or the Spanish equivalent, you have no savings, investments, property or private pension entitlement, then, at the age

of 30, if you´re looking at achieving a monthly pension income of 1,000 euros at the age of 65 (in today´s terms) you will need a pension pot of 674,000 euros. 1,000 per month, in 35 years, assuming an inflation rate

of 3.1% will be equivalent to 2,810 eurosper month.

To achieve this level of income, you will need to save approximately 650 euros per month (assuming product growth of 5%).

Scary thoughts indeed … but it´s never too early to plan for your retirement.

The above does not constitute advice; you must seek clarification from your tax adviser regarding your personal tax situation. Blacktower Financial Management (International) Limited is licenced by the Gibraltar Financial Services Commission.

Licence 00805B. Blacktower Financial Management Limited is authorised and regulated by the UK Financial Conduct Authority.

Laura Mann is Regional Manager Canary Islands at Blacktower Financial Management (International) Ltd. Tel 603 217 561 Email info@ blacktowerfm.com

France faces 10m-euro rap THE European Commission is suing France for failing to recover nearly 10 million euros (£7m) in illegal state aid to two budget airlines.

Most of that sum is owed by Irish airline Ryanair and its marketing subsidiary

AMS, says the Commission.

Ryanair and Dutch carrier Transavia had rebates and marketing deals at three airports - Pau, Nimes and Angouleme.

It meant the carriers, therefore, paid less than they should have for using the airports, insists the Commission.

Ryanair profits have surged recently. Net

profits for the three months to June were 245m euros, up from 197m a year earlier.

But the airline no longer flies to Pau or Angouleme.

A year ago, the Commission says, it told France to recover nearly 10m euros from Ryanair and Transavia.

The case of Transavia concerned only 430,000 euros, due for a deal at Pau airport.

France failed to meet a four-month recovery deadline, because the airlines appealed against the move.

But the Commission, which says France’s suspension of efforts to recover the funds contradicted European case law, is now taking the case to the European Court of Justice.

In a separate case last October, a French court told Ryanair to

pay 8m euros in damages, and 200,000 euros in fines for breaches of French labour laws.

An appeal court in Aix-en-Provence found the company guilty of paying workers under Irish contracts to avoid making French social security payments.

The case referred to Ryanair staff employed at Marseille airport between 2007 and 2010.

www.canarianweekly.com 31st July - 6th August 2015

Advertisement TV GuideTV

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Guide

The Great British Bake Off

Don't Miss...

Wednesday 5 August, BBC1, 20.00 The Bake Off is back...

Once again 12 new bakers don their aprons and head for the iconic tent in the heart of the British countryside. Judges Mary Berry & Paul Hollywood have created 30 new challenges that will test their baking prowess, creativity, and skill, in a bid to find the country’s best amateur baker.

From Victorian classics to high end patisserie, chocolate sculptures to everyday staples, the bakers will need a cool head and even colder hands to make it to the final. With them every step of the way are Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins, ready to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on.

Starting with Cake week, the bakers’ first signature challenge is to make a Madeira cake. It’s a well-loved cake, but which of our bakers will try to impress by reinventing this classic, and who will play safe in a bid to get perfect Madeira with its traditional crack?

With one challenge out the way the bakers face their first technical: Mary’s Frosted Walnut Cake, a prewar classic that is as British as they come. Light sponge sandwiched with buttercream and covered with sweet meringue, this technically challenging cake is one of Mary’s favourites and no one wants to disappoint the Queen of Baking.

Day two and the bakers have to go all out to impress with their first showstopper, the Black Forest Gateau. This retro classic from the 70s has it all - chocolate, cherries and cream. It’s ripe for a reinvention and these 12 bakers are ready and willing.

12 new bakers, 30 new challenges On your marks, get set…BAKE!

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www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

F riday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain

06:00 ..............Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain

10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

07:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera

08:30 ........................ Lorraine

11:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera

07:30 ............... Heir Hunters

11:30 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15............... Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ........................The Link 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country

09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:15 .................... Gardeners’ World

10:30 .............. This Morning

08:45.................. Nigel Slater: Eating Together

11:00.............. This Morning

09:15........................... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00.................... BBC News 11:30......... BBC World News

10:55...................... ITV News 12:30 ......Guess This House 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00................... Dickinson’s Real Deal

15:45 ................... The Instant Gardener

12:00 .................Animal Park

16:30...........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

17:15........................... Flog It!

17:15........................Pointless

18:30 .............. Eggheads

18:00 .... BBC News at Six

19:00.............. Gardeners’ World

18:30 ................ ITV News

19:30 ........Rugby League Challenge Cup

19:30..............Coronation Street

19:00 .........Animal Super Parents 20:00 ............ EastEnders 20:30 ...................Would I Lie to You? 21:00 ........ Ripper Street 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ..............Room 101 23:15 ................. Artificial Intelligence: AI 01:35.............Weather for the Week Ahead

13:00 ................................ Golf 18:00............. Two Tribes

22:00............. The Perfect Morecambe and Wise 22:30..............Newsnight 23:00................Artsnight 23:35 ............... The Road 01:15 .................. Britain’s Forgotten Slave Owners

15:00 ............Secret Dealers 16:00 ........... Hello Campers 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00 ................ ITV News London 19:00............ Emmerdale

20:00 ..........Gino’s Italian Escape 20:30..............Coronation Street 21:00.........BBQ Champ

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22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40...................... Crank 00:20............ Jackpot247

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

3 1 st

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06:20 ........... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 ............Will and Grace 07:10 ............Will and Grace

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:35.......... King of Queens

06:30.............. Fireman Sam

08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond

06:40.................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:50..................... Peppa Pig

09:00............................ Frasier

07:10............. Little Princess

09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 11:00 .............The Simpsons 11:30............. The Simpsons 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05.......... Come Dine with Me Abroad 13:05 ......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 13:35..........................Glorious Goodwood

06:10................. Doctor Who 07:00... Masterchef Canada 08:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00............... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 10:00........................... The Bill 11:00.................. Traffic Cops 12:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 13:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 14:00............... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 15:00.................. Traffic Cops 16:00........................... The Bill 17:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 18:00............Doctor Who 19:00..............Masterchef Canada 20:00............. The Glades 21:00 ............ Beauty and the Beast 22:00...... One Born Every Minute 23:00.......... Saving Hope

08:55.....Location, Location, Location

11:10 .......Cowboy Builders

06:00.....Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

07:00 ....................... Flip Men

06:00............. Football Gold

12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime

07:00 ................ Monkey Life

07:20 ..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

07:00 .......WWE Main Event

12:15 ...........Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild

07:30................ Monkey Life

08:10 ...... American Pickers

13:15 ........Home and Away

08:00 ......... Obese: A Year to Save My Life UK

09:00....................... Top Gear

10:00.................. The Premier League Years

13:45................. Neighbours

09:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

10:00 .......................Top Gear

12:30 ................. Soccer A.M.

14:15............................... NCIS

11:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

11:00 .......................Top Gear

13:30............. Football Gold

15:15 ..............An Accidental Friendship

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

12:00 .......................Top Gear

14:00 ....Royal International Horse Show

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

17:00..............The Simpsons

06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

07:20........................... The Mr. Men Show 07:35..................Thomas and Friends: Dinos and Discoveries 07:50................. Thomas and Friends: Dinos and Discoveries 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35......... Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

16:00.......French Collection

08:55.... Milkshake Monkey

17:00..............Couples Come Dine with Me

09:15........ The Wright Stuff

18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30.............. Hollyoaks 19:00..... Channel 4 News 20:00 ................ Location, Location, Location 21:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 22:00...........The Last Leg 23:05.............. Rude Tube 00:10.................Ghosts of Girlfriends Past 01:55................... Toast of London

ch

06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:20............................. Psych 07:05 ..................Emmerdale 08:05................ Dinner Date 09:05 ............................. Psych 10:00 .........................The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 13:15............ Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 ........ Judge Rinder 19:00...... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00.....The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift 23:10....... Celebrity Juice 23:55................Two and a Half Men

06:10................. Igam Ogam

10:00 .................................. The Restoration Man 11:00 .............. Freaky Friday 13:00 ...................Time Team 14:00 ................... Come Dine with Me 14:35 ................... Come Dine with Me 16:40 ...............A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 17:45............................ A Place in the Sun 18:50...........................The Restoration Man 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00....The King’s Speech 23:20......... Embarrassing Fat Bodies 00:25... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:25....... Grand Designs

09:00 ...................Tickety Toc

17:30................. Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away 18:30...... 5 News Tonight

15:00..................... Futurama 17:30 ..................... Futurama 18:00............... Futurama

13:00 .......................Top Gear 14:00......... Motorway Cops 15:20..........Motorway Cops 19:00................ American Pickers

20:00 ..... Modern Family

20:00 .................. Storage Hunters UK

21:00 ............A League of Their Own

20:30 ... Storage Hunters 21:00...................... QI XL

21:30...Cricket’s Funniest Moments

22:00........................... QI

22:55......................Tattoo Disasters: UK

22:00......... Hawaii Five-0

00:00...................... QI XL

00:00..........Super Casino

01:00......... Hawaii Five-0

19:00........... Cricket on 5 20:00 ......Weather Terror 21:00... 20 Moments That Rocked Comedy 22:30.......Lip Sync Battle

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

00:00..NCIS: Los Angeles

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22:40..... Mock the Week 01:00.... Storage Hunters 01:30.... Storage Hunters

08:00 ........................ Football

18:00 ..............Sky Sports Originals - Cloned: Creating Designer Horses 19:00...... Premier League Legends 20:00............ The Premier League Years 22:00...... Premier League Legends 01:00...... Premier League Legends 01:30...... Premier League 100 Club

BBQ Champ ITV1, 21.00

This summer, Myleene Klass hosts a brand new series on ITV where eight of the UK’s best amateur barbecuers will battle it out for the title BBQ Champ 2015 and a cash prize of £25,000. In order to win they will have to impress the judges Man vs Food star Adam Richman and British chef and restaurateur Mark Blatchford.

Each week the contestants will face two fiery challenges - one at BBQ HQ and one on location.

After which, one of them will be eliminated.

From creating mouth watering BBQ masterpieces to reinventing culinary classics for the coals and catering for the masses, each contestant will have to try their best to win Adam and Mark’s approval.

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www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

S aturday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 10:00 ........................Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 .........................The Box 12:00.................... BBC News 12:15 ............Rugby League: Challenge Cup Semi-Final 14:45 ........................ Football 17:20 .......................Pointless 18:05.............. BBC News 18:15 ........... BBC London News 18:25 ........ Raiders of the Lost Ark 20:15.......... The National Lottery 21:10................ Casualty 22:00 .............. BBC News 22:20 .......... Mrs. Brown’s Boys

06:25 ..............Tintin and the Golden Fleece

06:00............. The Aquabats!

Super Show!

08:05 .................The Maggie

06:25............... Pat and Stan

09:35 .............. The Master of Ballantrae

06:45...................... Dino Dan

11:00 .................Animal Park 11:30 ............... The Women’s Football Show 12:00................Escape to the Continent 13:00........................ Athletics 14:00................................. Golf 18:00....................Cycling 19:00...................... Proms Extra 2015 19:40...............Edwardian Farm 20:40.............Dad’s Army 21:10...............First Light 22:30................. Mock the Week

23:20 ..................... Tropic Thunder

01:05............... BBC News

07:00...................... Canimals 07:15 .............................Sooty 07:30......................... Super 4 07:45................... Fish Hooks 08:00 ............. Young Justice: Invasion 08:25...................... ITV News 08:30 ......................Weekend 09:25 .......................... Murder, She Wrote 10:20 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:20 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:25 .............. ITV News and Weather 12:30 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show

22:50 ...... Not Going Out

01:00 ..... Weather for the Week Ahead

06:35 ......................Dino Dan

13:35 ......................... Surprise Surprise 23:00............... Ill Manors

14:35 ....................The Chase

00:55..... The Quatermass Xperiment

15:30 ..............All Star Family Fortunes 16:15 ..............Tipping Point

The Cube ITV1, 20.30 Celeb special – Katherine Ryan and Fabrice Muamba

W C c h oice to win c h a r i t y.

But do either of them h a v e what it takes to beat The Cube?

In a special celebrity edition of the show former footballer Fabrice Muamba hopes his sporting prowess will help him beat the Cube.

While comedian Katherine Ryan takes some big risks in an attempt £250,000 for

17:15 ............... Catchphrase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:15 .........ITV News and Weather 18:30 .........Mamma Mia!

20:30.............The Cube

21:35 ...........The Nation’s Favourite Queen Song

23:00..........ITV News and Weather 23:15.............. The Chase 00:15........... Jackpot247

The Inbetweeners Movie Channel 4, 21:00

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Series creators Iain Morris and Damon Beesley, together with director Ben Palmer, bring their bawdy E4 hit, The Inbetweeners, to the big screen. Like the TV series, the movie was a massive hit, claiming the biggest box office take for a comedy that the UK has ever seen. The show’s stars Simon Bird, Joe Thomas, Blake Harrison and James Buckley are all present, though definitely not correct. The lads have now finished sixth form and have decided to celebrate with a holiday in Crete. They naturally see this as the perfect opportunity to grab as much sun, sea and sex as possible.

Unfortunately their insecurities and dire approaches to any woman unfortunate enough to cross their path mean it looks as though, apart from Neil, they’ll have to content themselves with drinking and clubbing instead. Unless, of course, the boys treat the first four girls they meet - Alison, Lucy, Lisa and Jane - with a little more respect.

aturday

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

1 st 05:55 ........... How I Met Your Mother 06:20............ How I Met Your Mother 06:45.........Everybody Loves Raymond

A ugust

06:00......................Peppa Pig 06:05.....................Bananas in Pajamas 06:20.........................Angelina Ballerina

06:00 ..........................The Hot Desk 06:10 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus

06:10................. Doctor Who

08:55................... Time Team

07:00..........Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

10:00 ...................Time Team

07:30..........Betty White’s Off Their Rockers

13:00 ...............Four in a Bed

07:05.........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:45.....The Mr. Men Show

08:40 ................... Coronation Street Omnibus

07:30 ...........................Mobil 1 The Grid

06:55.... Milkshake Monkey

11:05 ................Take Me Out

07:00 .............Chloe’s Closet

12:05 ............... Catchphrase

14:00 ............The Dog Hotel

07:10 ................Roobarb and Custard Too

12:50 ........... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

16:00.... Magic in the Water

08:00 ................The Morning Line 09:00........................... Frasier 09:30........................... Frasier 10:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 11:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 11:25............. The Simpsons 12:00............. The Simpsons 12:30 .............The Simpsons 13:00 ...........Rude(Ish) Tube 13:30 .........................Glorious Goodwood 16:15 ................... Come Dine with Me 16:50 ................... Come Dine with Me 17:20 ................... Come Dine with Me 17:50 ................... Come Dine with Me 18:15.............. Come Dine with Me 18:40................Channel 4 News 19:00................ Homes by the Sea 20:00...................Walking Through History 21:00 ..........................The Inbetweeners Movie 23:00..............This Means War 00:50...........The Last Leg 01:45................Hollyoaks Omnibus

06:30 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:20...................... Make Way for Noddy 07:30 ....................Paw Patrol 07:45 ............. Little Princess 08:00 ........... Wanda and the Alien 08:10 .........Zack and Quack 08:30 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:45 ...................Jelly Jamm 09:00 .....................LazyTown 09:30 ...... Dora and Friends

13:20 ...................Beethoven 15:05 ................Scooby-Doo 16:50 ............... The Mummy 19:10.................... Johnny English 21:00 ....................... Troy 00:10 ...............Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

08:00..........................Heston’s Fantastical Food 09:00 .......................... The Bill 14:30 ........ Gangsta Granny 18:00.....Betty White’s Off Their Rockers 19:00............. Beauty and the Beast 20:00...................Atlantis 21:00........... Zombieland 23:00.................Sky Cops 00:00.............Paranormal Witness 01:45.................The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs

11:00 ...........The Lost World 13:30 ...............Four in a Bed 14:05 ...............Four in a Bed 14:35............... Four in a Bed 15:05............... Four in a Bed 15:40............................ Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 16:40 .................Four Rooms 17:50 ........... Grand Designs 18:55 ...... Grand Designs 20:00 ....... Secret History 21:00 ....... Secret History 22:00 ....... Secret History 23:05 ............ 24 Hours in A and E 00:05......... Embarrassing Bodies 01:10........ Secret History

10:00 .........Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:35....... Cowboy Builders 11:35 .......Cowboy Builders 12:30........Cowboy Builders 13:30 ..............Columbo: The Greenhouse Jungle 15:00.......The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 16:00.............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 17:00....Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 18:00.......Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away: Final Demand 19:00............Cricket on 5 19:55.....................5 News Weekend 20:00............Transporter: The Series 21:00........................Tut

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23:35................Criminals: Caught on Camera 00:10..........Super Casino

06:00 ................................Glee 07:00 ...........Modern Family 09:00 ................ Monkey Life 09:30 ................ Monkey Life 11:00 ...........Modern Family 11:30 ...........Modern Family 12:00 ...............The F1 Show 13:00 .................... What’s Up 13:30............Modern Family 14:00 ..................... Futurama 14:30 ..................... Futurama 15:00...............Hawaii Five-0 17:00 ................. Yonderland 17:30............. The Simpsons 18:00........ The Simpsons 19:00 ..... Modern Family 20:00............. Guitar Star 21:00....Micky Flanagan’s Detour De France 22:00...................Cellular 23:50......... The Last Ship 00:50......... Hawaii Five-0

07:10 ...... American Pickers 08:00 ...... American Pickers 09:00 .........Motorway Cops 10:20 .........Motorway Cops 11:40......... Motorway Cops 13:00......... Motorway Cops 14:00...................... Parks and Recreation 14:30 ...................... Parks and Recreation

06:00........... Premier League Legends 06:30........... Premier League 100 Club 07:00.................. The Premier League Years 09:00........... Premier League Legends 09:30........... Premier League 100 Club

15:00 ...... American Pickers

10:00...................The Premier League Years

16:00...... American Pickers

12:00 ........................ Football

17:00...... American Pickers

15:00 .....................Sky Sports Boxing Gold 2013

18:00...American Pickers 20:00...................... QI XL 21:00....................... QI XL 22:00............ Taskmaster 23:00 ...........Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled 00:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:0..........................Suits

15:30 ................................GAA 18:00 ....................... GAA 20:00 ................... Boxing 23:30 ........... The Premier League Years 01:30 ........... The Premier League Years

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Tut Channel 5, 21:00

First of a two-part drama series set in Ancient Egypt and focusing on the life and reign of King Tutankhamun. Escaping the city walls to learn more about his people, the young pharaoh comes to the rescue of a village girl, who has no idea who he is, and discovers more about the threat of the Mitanni kingdom.

Upon returning home, he informs general Horemheb that he will lead his army into battle against the enemy, but is seriously wounded on the battlefield.

Led to believe that he has died, his wife seeks a new pharaoh, prompting unrest within the ruler’s inner circle.

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Nature Nuts with Julian Clary ITV1, 19.00

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

S unday

09:00 .....................BBC News

06:15 .......Big Dreams Small Spaces

10:00 ........ Sunday Morning Live

07:15................... The Instant Gardener

11:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

08:00.................. Countryfile

12:00 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 .....................BBC News

09:30 ......... The Beechgrove Garden

13:15 .......... Songs of Praise

10:00 ..........................Cycling

13:50.... Nigel Slater: Eating Together

10:30 ........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

14:20 ...............Escape to the Country

12:00 .........................The Box

15:05 ..........................Cycling 18:35.............. BBC News

13:00 ...... Alex Polizzi: Chefs on Trial

19:00 ............Countryfile

14:00 ................................ Golf

06:00 ...................... Breakfast

20:00... Fake or Fortune?

21:00............. Partners in Crime 22:00 .............. BBC News 22:20...............BBC London News

09:00 ...... Gardeners’ World

12:30 .........................The Box

18:00........................ Hair 18:30........................ Hair 19:00....Locomotion: Dan Snow’s History of Railways

20:00......... Dragons’ Den Since moving to the countryside, Britain’s most beloved camp come22:30..............Match of W 21:00..................Odyssey C dian Julian Clary has become passionate about nature. In a brand new the Day choice 21:45 .............The Javone adventure, he goes in search of Britain’s most fanatical wildlife lovers, Prince Show 23:15 ......... Don’t Tell the affectionately referred to as his ‘Nature Nuts’.

22:15............

Family Guy Bride Julian travels all over the UK for the three-part series, discovering an 23:20 .............Dead Poets 00:15......

Weather for the extraordinary range of nature fans obsessed by the creatures in their Society Week Ahead backyards and beyond. Julian and his expert film crew, boasting some of the UK’s most talented natural history cameramen and women, play 01:20.... X: The Unknown 00:20............... BBC News fairy godmother to our Nature Nuts by capturing sight of their favourite creatures in ways they’ve never seen before.

With some of the best new technology including starlight, high speed, mini aerial and underwater cameras, the Nature Nuts are given once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to watch their favourite animals in their natural habitat.

Jam-packed with Julian’s trademark humour, Nature Nuts is full of great characters and fantastic wildlife footage. Each week Julian meets four Nature Nuts and finds out about four species of wonderful wildlife in Britain.

In episode one, Julian and the team travel to Walsall in the West Midlands to visit Joan Lockley who runs her very own ‘Hedgehog Hosprickal’. Joan has helped over 5,000 hedgehogs and gets deeply attached to her patients. With the help of expert Dr Richard Yarnell and his technology, Julian and the team are able track the progress of one of Jo’s precious patients after he is released back into the wild. Jo is overwhelmed with emotion at the prospect of tracking her hedgehog’s movements.

Next, the team are on to Lichfield to meet Nature Nut number two, Kate MacRae, who captures the activity of our feathered friends, with numerous cameras placed around her garden and inside her bird boxes, which she streams onto the internet.

The team also visit a quiet bank, filled with holes from badger sets. Despite spending many hours watching the bank in the hope of spotting the badgers, Kate has never caught so much as a glimpse of them.

Together with expert wildlife camerawoman, Justine Evans and some military technology which means her camera can work with just the light of the moon, Julian and Kate head to a tent in the nearby woods to see if they can catch sight of a very elusive family of badgers.

In Stowe Maries, Julian meets Russell Savory and turns his attention to the water vole, a creature that is fast disappearing due to reintroduced mink and loss of habitat.

In Tyne and Wear, Julian meets otter spotter Kevin O’Hara and then it’s down to Dorset for one final trip to introduce him to retired trout farmer and fellow otter fanatic Stewart Canham. After capturing footage of otters playing, the last leg of Julian’s journey sees him and Stewart make a trip to a very special otter sanctuary.

06:00 .............The Aquabats!

Super Show!

06:25 ................Pat and Stan 06:35...................... Dino Dan 07:00 ...................... Canimals 07:15 .............................Sooty 07:30......................... Super 4 07:45................... Fish Hooks 08:00............. Young Justice: Invasion 08:25 ...................... ITV News 08:30 ......................Weekend 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:25...................... ITV News 12:35 ..... Love Your Garden 13:35 .......Long Lost Family 14:35 .....The Unforgettable Joan Sims 15:05.....................The Chase 16:05 ............The Man in the Iron Mask 18:35 ... ITV News London 19:00..........Nature Nuts W Coice with Julian Clary ch 20:00................Midsomer Murders 22:00................ ITV News 22:20...Brits Behind Bars 23:20 ....... Piers Morgan’s Life Stories

Match Of The Highlights BBC1, 22.30

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

2 nd 06:15 ..............How I Met Your Mother 06:40 .......... Everybody Loves Raymond 07:05 ......................... Caterham Motorsport 07:30 ............................ National Paralympic Day 08:30 ............................... Frasier 09:30 .............Sunday Brunch 12:30 .......Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 13:30 ............... The Simpsons 14:30 ...................Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 15:35...... Location, Location, Location 16:35........ A Place in the Sun 17:40 ...........Channel 4 News 18:00 ..................The Three Musketeers

W 20:00.........Experimental Coice ch

21:00 ....................Humans

22:00 ........8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:05 ................The Guard 00:55 .. Channel 4 Comedy Gala 2015 - Best Bits 01:40 ................Come Dine with Me

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06:00................Children’s TV 07:45 ...................Wanda and the Alien 07:55......... Zack and Quack 08:10 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:20 ...................Jelly Jamm 08:35......................LazyTown 09:00 ...... Dora and Friends 09:30 .........Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:00 ........................... Access 10:10 ... Police Interceptors 13:05.................Disney’s White Fang II: Myth of the White Wolf 15:10 ........The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep 17:20............... Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 19:00............Cricket on 5 20:00.......................Police Interceptors: Unleashed

06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:20............ Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

06:10 ................ Doctor Who 07:00 ......The Funny Side of TV Experts 08:00 .......................Sky Cops

06:45................... Emmerdale Omnibus

09:00 ............The Dog Hotel

09:35....... Coronation Street Omnibus

11:00... Magic in the Water

09:30 ........ Gangsta Granny 13:00................ Doctor Who

08:55 ......Help! My House is Falling Down 10:00 ......Help! My House is Falling Down 11:00 ............ Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 12:05 ......... Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it

14:00................ Doctor Who

13:05............... Small Animal Hospital

15:00................ Doctor Who

14:40............... Four in a Bed

16:00................ Doctor Who

15:10............... Four in a Bed

17:00................ Doctor Who

17:15....Come Dine with Me

18:00............Doctor Who

17:50....Come Dine with Me

19:00...... Nanny McPhee

19:00............. The Glades

21:00 ..... The Shawshank Redemption

20:00 ............ The Glades

20:00......... Burger Bar to Gourmet Star

21:00 ............ The Glades

21:00.................Car S.O.S

23:50 ...............Safeword

22:00....Walking the Nile

00:35 ....... Fake Reaction

00:00...... The Funny Side of TV Experts

01:15 ..... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

01:00............ Who Do You Think You Are?

01:45...... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

01:50 ......The Funny Side of Christmas

06:00 ... The Hour of Power 07:00 ......... Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old? 08:00 ................................Glee 09:00 ................ Monkey Life 11:00..................... WWE Raw 12:00......................... Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation 12:30..... Football’s Funniest Moments 14:30 ..................... Futurama 15:00 .............The Simpsons 18:00.. King of the Nerds 19:00 ............... Football’s Funniest Moments 20:00......... The Last Ship 21:00 ............A League of Their Own 21:30................ Football’s Funniest Moments 22:00 ....An Idiot Abroad 23:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0 00:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

07:10 .......................Top Gear

12:00 ................Take Me Out 13:10 ..............The Hot Desk 13:20 ...............Dragonheart 15:25 ........Beethoven’s 2nd 17:10 ............ Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

23:05......... Embarrassing Bodies 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:05.................Car S.O.S

21:00 ......................... Tut 23:35.....Secrets of Egypt 00:35................Criminals: Caught on Camera 01:05..........Super Casino

e Day: Community Shield Highlights of the season’s traditional curtainraiser at Wembley Stadium, which sees Premier League champions Chelsea take on FA Cup winners Arsenal. The match will be the first between the clubs since long-serving Blues goalkeeper Petr Cech was allowed to move across the capital to join the Gunners, although it remains to be seen whether the 33 year-old makes his debut against his former employers.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger may see this match as an opportunity to rid himself of an unwanted statistic - he is winless in 13 matches against Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho. Wenger’s men have failed to score a single goal in their last five games against the Blues, but they will have fond memories of their last trip to Wembley in May, when they thrashed Aston Villa 4-0 to win the FA Cup.

08:00 .......................Top Gear 09:00 .......................Top Gear 10:00 .......................Top Gear 11:00 .......................Top Gear 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00....................... Top Gear 14:00 .......................Top Gear 15:00....................... Top Gear 16:00 .......................Top Gear 17:00....................... Top Gear 21:00............... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00 ............... Parks and Recreation 22:30 ............... Parks and Recreation 23:00....... Not Going Out 23:40 ...... Not Going Out 00:20 ..... Mock the Week 01:00 .......................Suits

06:00 .......... Premier League Legends 06:30 .......... Premier League Legends 07:00 ..................The Premier League Years 09:00 .......................... Premier League Legends 09:30.........................Saturday Fight Night 13:00 ..................The Premier League Years 15:00........................ Football 17:30 ......................... Football Gold 17:50 ..................The Premier League Years 19:50 .................Football 22:00 ........ Major League Soccer 00:15 ......Intl Champions Cup

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Experimental Channel 4, 20:00

Unruly engineer Tim Shaw and his daredevil sidekick Buddy Munro continue their travels, as they attempt to recreate some of the world’s most hair-raising viral videos. The perennial childhood favourite the slip-n-slide gets a muscly makeover when Tim employs a V8 powered glider winch and a three-metre-high ramp to send Buddy sky high.

Inspired by an internet clip of college kids in sunny California, Tim wants to demonstrate the hidden dangers in upscaling this kids’ game.

In the Czech Republic’s Krkonose Mountains Buddy attempts to ski uphill using jet power. Tim’s early tests indicate that their micro turbine doesn’t have enough thrust, so he straps on a dangerous afterburner to bump up their power.

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TV Guide

Travel Guides ITV1, 21.00 Travel Guides sends five ordinary British households to review some of the worlds most popular tourist destinations, from an all-inclusive in Tenerife to a five star hotel in Dubai, to see what they can really offer an aver-

age Brit.

Each week the same households travel to a different destination and experience identical holidays. Narrator Johnny Vegas guides us through the location, while the households give honest and frank reviews about everything on offer - from the accommodation to the food to the activities.

We’ve all experienced that bad holiday breakfast, dodgy air con system or disappointing day-trip. These amateur critics are here to make sure you remember your next holiday for all the right reasons…

This week the Travel Guides hit Thailand. With miles of tropical beaches and an exotic climate, it attracts over 26 million’s tourists each year to its shores - making it the most popular destination for Brits visiting Asia. But it also has a reputation as being a destination for hedonistic backpackers that is fraught with dangers and annoyances. Our households spend a week on the island of Koh Samui, getting the lowdown on what a holiday there can really offer.

The trip doesn’t start smoothly for the Chapman-Blackwell’s from Bradford. Hairdresser Craig not only has to battle with mosquitos but also with basic beach hut accommodation. He wants to go home as soon as he arrives - will the ‘land of smiles’ turn his opinion around?

Exotic adventurers the Boyles are wowed by the street food available at the markets, while bargain hunter Simon Brearley can’t get enough of how cheap everything is.

Burnley painter decorator Pete and his wife Linda reveal themselves to be secret ‘Thai Experts’, having travelled to the country 26 times before… but perhaps the biggest surprise is that Glamour Girl Riah finds a new spiritual side on the island – embracing a visit to a local detox spa which offers raw food and coffee enema’s to its guests.

31st July - 6th August 2015

M onday 06:00...................... Breakfast

CW

09:15 ................. Fake Britain

ch oice 10:00...... Homes Under the Hammer

11:00............. Close Calls: On Camera 11:30 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15.............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45......................... Doctors 14:15 ........................The Link 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30 ..........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 19:00 .......... The Housing Enforcers 20:00 ............ EastEnders 20:30 ..............Panorama 21:00.......... Britain at the Bookies 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:25.BBC London News 22:35...... Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 23:20.......Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 00:05 ..... Weather for the Week Ahead 00:10............... BBC News

06:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 07:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera 07:30............... Heir Hunters 08:15 ...............Escape to the Continent 09:15 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00.................... BBC News 12:00........... World War One: Beyond the Trenches 12:05 ............Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 12:35 ...........World War One: Beyond the Trenches 12:40 .... The Rockford Files 13:30 ........Cash in the Attic 14:15 ....................... Athletics 15:15 ...................Swimming 18:00............. Two Tribes 18:30 .............. Eggheads 19:00 ........... Carol Klein’s Plant Odysseys 19:30........Great British CW Menu choice 20:00............... University Challenge 20:30........ Only Connect 21:00 ...... Life in Squares 22:00 ........................Hair 22:30 .............Newsnight 23:05 ........ Dragons’ Den 00:05 .................Odyssey 00:45 ..............Panorama 01:45 ..........Britain at the Bookies

Freeze Out ITV1, 17.00 Freeze Out is the UK’s first quiz show on ice. A game of skill and quizzing ability, it sees contestants competing around a giant circular ice table.

Each round has a unifying premise: contestants answer questions to win ‘sliders’ to glide onto the ice table – onto which we project stunning, state-of-the-art graphics to create unique game boards.

In some rounds players must accurately land sliders onto tricky targets. In others they must smash opponent’s sliders out of the way. It’s a fun, friendly, all-embracing game – but one that brings out our players’ competitive streaks.

After four dynamic rounds just one player remains. They’ll take on our tense end game that could see them winning up to ten thousand pounds. Freeze Out is essentially a brand new sport – combining accessible questions with a table game of skill, precision and power.

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30 ........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 10:55...................... ITV News 11:00.............. This Morning 12:30 .....................Guess This House 13:30............... ITV News and Weather 14:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............Secret Dealers 16:00 ........... Hello Campers 17:00 ...............Freeze Out

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18:00................ ITV News London 18:30......... ITV News and Weather 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 .............Coronation Street 20:00 .............Vet School 20:30 .............Coronation Street 21:00......Travel Guides

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22:00 ................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40...................... Plebs 23:10.............Britain Sees Red: Caught on Camera 00:05............ Jackpot247

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

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05:55 ........... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:20 ........... How I Met Your Mother

06:20 .Lily’s Driftwood Bay

06:45 ............Will and Grace 07:10 ............Will and Grace 07:35 ........................... King of Queens 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:10 .................Igam Ogam 06:30.............. Fireman Sam 06:40................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:50..................... Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:10 ............. Little Princess

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond

07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show

09:00 ........................... Frasier

07:45 ... Milkshake Monkey

09:30 ........................... Frasier

07:50...... Noddy in Toyland

10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

08:00........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

11:00 .............The Simpsons

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

11:30 .............The Simpsons

08:30 .. Milkshake! Bop Box

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus

12:05 ................... Come Dine with Me Abroad

08:45 .Bananas in Pajamas

13:10 ................Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

07:35... Thomas and Friends

08:20 .....................Peppa Pig

06:00 ....Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

07:00 ........ Storage Hunters 07:20...... American Pickers 08:10 ...... American Pickers 09:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 09:30 .... Lizard Lick Towing 10:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 10:30 .... Lizard Lick Towing 14:00........ Storage Hunters 14:30........ Storage Hunters 15:00........ Storage Hunters 17:00........ Storage Hunters 17:30........ Storage Hunters 18:00.... Storage Hunters 19:00 ...................... QI XL 20:00 ............... Parks and Recreation 21:00....... Not Going Out 21:40....... Not Going Out 23:20....................... QI XL 00:20...... Mock the Week 01:00.... Storage Hunters 01:30.... Storage Hunters

06:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club

12:15 ......The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 13:15 ........Home and Away

17:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me

13:45 .................Neighbours

18:00........ The Simpsons

15:15 ..... Profile for Murder

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

19:00 ...............Channel 4 News

17:30 .................Neighbours

14:15 ............................... NCIS

18:00.... Home and Away 18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight 19:00 ......................Police Interceptors

07:00 ................ Monkey Life 07:30 ................ Monkey Life 09:00 ................................Glee 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 15:00 ......................The Flash 16:00 .............The Simpsons 16:30............. The Simpsons 18:00 .............. Futurama

20:00.... Stop! Roadworks Ahead

18:30........ The Simpsons

21:00.......Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild

20:00 ........... Yonderland

22:00....Under the Dome

21:00...... Modern Family

00:00 .... Confessions of a Secretary

23:00... 20 Moments That Rocked Comedy

22:00....................... Glee

00:55 ......... Child Genius

00:30......................Tattoo Disasters: UK

00:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

22:00......... A Very British Brothel 23:00 ......... Tattoo Fixers

01:50 ..... One Born Every Minute USA

10:00 ............... Small Animal Hospital 10:30............... River Cottage Bites 10:45 ................Jungle Book 12:55 ......................Time Team 14:00 ...Come Dine with Me 14:35 ...Come Dine with Me 16:40 .....A Place in the Sun 17:45......A Place in the Sun 18:50 .....The Restoration Man 19:55........Grand Designs 21:00......... The Supervet 22:00 ............ 24 Hours in A and E 23:05......... Embarrassing Bodies 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10......... The Supervet

11:10 .......Cowboy Builders

15:00 ............Fifteen to One

21:00 .................24 Hours in Police Custody

08:55 ....Location, Location, Location

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff 12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime

20:00 .................Flying to the Ends of the Earth

06:10 ................ Doctor Who 07:00... Masterchef Canada 08:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00............... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00.................. Traffic Cops 12:00..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 13:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 14:00 .............. Nick Knowles’ Original Features 15:00 ................. Traffic Cops 16:00 .......................... The Bill 17:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 18:00 ...........Doctor Who 19:00 .............Masterchef Canada 20:00 ............ The Glades 21:00..... Motorway Cops 22:00 ........... Traffic Cops 23:00 ......... Saving Hope 00:00.......... Booze Patrol Australia

09:00 ...................Tickety Toc

14:10 .................Countdown 16:00 ............................French Collection

06:00 ............................. Psych 06:45 ..................Emmerdale 07:10 .....Coronation Street 08:05................ Dinner Date 09:05............................. Psych 10:00..........................The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:10.................. Emmerdale 12:40..... Coronation Street 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40.............. Judge Rinder 15:45 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00 ....The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift 23:05...... Celebrity Juice 23:50............... Two and a Half Men 00:45...................... Mom 01:30 ..... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

00:55.....................Access

19:00 ....... The Simpsons 20:30........ The Simpsons

23:00........ Hawaii Five-0 01:00 ................ NCIS: Los Angeles

06:30........... Premier League 100 Club 07:00 ..................The Premier League Years 09:00.................. The Premier League Years 11:00 ..................The Premier League Years 13:00 ..................The Premier League Years 17:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 17:30 ......... Premier League 18:00...... Premier League 100 Club 19:30..................Sporting Greats 20:00......... Gary Newbon Interviewing Billie Jean King 21:00.....................Tennis: Washington

Great British Menu BBC2, 19.30

Scotland - starter. Great British Menu is back and 24 of the nation’s top chefs are challenged to plate up perfection. They’re fighting it out for the chance to cook at a glorious banquet marking the centenary of the Women’s Institute, at London’s historic Draper’s Hall.

This year’s challenge is to produce 21st century dishes worthy of the custodians of first class homecooking. The dishes must honour the generations of women who have helped to make Britain the great culinary nation it is today. The chefs have taken inspiration from the women in their families and the pioneering women of the institute - to turn homecooked classics into modern masterpieces.

Along the way there’ll be soaring highs and crushing lows, as the chefs do everything they can to get their dishes onto the final banquet menu. But who will triumph and who will fall?

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

T uesday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera 11:30 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ........................The Link 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30 ..........Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30 .BBC London News 19:00 .......Rip Off Britain 19:30............ EastEnders 20:00 ............. Holby City 21:00...........New Tricks

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22:00 ... BBC News at Ten

22:35 ... Transplant Tales 23:35................. Then She Found Me 01:10...... Weather for the Week Ahead 01:15............... BBC News

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06:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 07:00............ Close Calls: On Camera 07:30 ............... Heir Hunters 08:15 ...........The House That £100k Built 09:15... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00 ............................. Coast 12:05 .........World War One Beyond the Trenches 12:30............ Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 13:00 .... The Rockford Files 13:50 ........Cash in the Attic 14:35 ................Yes, Minister 15:05 .....................‘Allo, ‘Allo!

15:30 ..............Are You Being Served?

16:00 ...................Swimming 18:00 ............. Two Tribes 18:30 .............. Eggheads 19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure 19:30.. Great British Menu 20:00 ......The House That £100k Built 21:00........Are Our Kids CW Tough Enough? choice Chinese School 22:00.........................Hair 22:30..............Newsnight 23:05......Back in Time for Dinner

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30......................... Lorraine 09:25................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 10:55...................... ITV News 11:00.............. This Morning 12:30 ..............................Guess This House 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............Secret Dealers 16:00........... Hello Campers 17:00....................Freeze Out 18:00................. ITV News London 18:30 .........ITV News and Weather 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 20:00 ............... Love Your Garden 21:00.............Abducted

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22:00 ............ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40.............. Benidorm 23:40................... Murder, She Wrote 00:30 ........... Jackpot247

Abducted ITV1, 21.00

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare, their child abducted and smuggled overseas. In the UK every 12 hours a child is taken by a parent or family member. The left behind parent often has to go through years of heartache, fighting their ex-partner through the international courts just to see their child again. Some never do.

Abducted, a new documentary for ITV produced by Wild Pictures, follows three parents on emotional and dramatic journeys as they desperately try to get their children back from foreign countries. With exclusive access to a team of child recovery experts who take children back, Abducted shows some parents are taking desperate measures.

Britons are increasingly finding partners from abroad. But when these relationships break down, things can get messy, especially when children are involved. The number of children abducted by an estranged parent has doubled in the last decade.

The documentary includes dramatic scenes of one British father, who employs specialists in child recovery to get his abducted daughter back from Poland.

uesday

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

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06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 ............Will and Grace

06:10 .................Igam Ogam

07:10 ............Will and Grace

06:20 .Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:35 ..........King of Queens

06:30 .............. Fireman Sam

08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:40................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat

08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

09:00 ........................... Frasier

07:10............. Little Princess

09:30 ........................... Frasier

07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show

10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

07:35 .Thomas and Friends

10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

07:45... Milkshake Monkey

11:00 .............The Simpsons

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:30..............The Simpsons

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:20 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

12:05......... Come Dine with Me Abroad

08:30 .. Milkshake! Bop Box 08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus

13:10................ Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

08:45 .Bananas in Pajamas

14:10 .................Countdown

09:00................... Tickety Toc

15:00 ............Fifteen to One

09:15........ The Wright Stuff

16:00 ............................French Collection

11:10 .......Cowboy Builders

17:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me

12:15 ...Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords

18:00 ....... The Simpsons

13:15 ........Home and Away

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

13:45 .................Neighbours

19:00 .... Channel 4 News

12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime

14:15 ............................... NCIS

06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:20............................. Psych 07:05 ..................Emmerdale 07:35 .....Coronation Street 08:35 ................ Dinner Date 09:35 ............................. Psych 10:25 .........................The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:40 .....Coronation Street 13:40................. Dinner Date 14:40............... Judge Rinder 15:45 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00 ........ Hell’s Kitchen 23:00....... Celebrity Juice 23:50 ...............Two and a Half Men 00:45........ Fake Reaction

06:10 ................ Doctor Who 07:00... Masterchef Canada 08:00.... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00 .............. Nick Knowles’ Original Features 10:00.......................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 13:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 14:00............... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 15:00 ................. Traffic Cops 16:00 .......................... The Bill 17:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 18:00 ...........Doctor Who 19:00 .............Masterchef Canada 20:00............. The Glades 21:00 ......Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends 22:00........ Derren Brown: Evening of Wonders

08:55 ....Location, Location, Location

06:00 ....Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

07:00........ Storage Hunters

07:00................ Monkey Life

08:10 ...... American Pickers

07:30 ................ Monkey Life

09:00 ........ Storage Hunters

08:00............................... Glee

09:30 ........ Storage Hunters

09:00...................... The Flash

10:00 ........ Storage Hunters

10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

14:00.............. Megatruckers

11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

14:30 ............. Megatruckers 15:00 ............. Megatruckers

06:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 06:30 .......... Premier League 100 Club 07:00 ..................The Premier League Years 09:00 ..................The Premier League Years 11:00 ..................The Premier League Years 17:00.......... SPFL Round Up 17:30 ......... Premier League 18:00..... Premier League 100 Club 18:30 ..... Premier League 100 Club 19:00...... Premier League 100 Club 19:30.... Sporting Greats 20:00 ........ Gary Newbon Interviewing Martina Hingis 21:00 ....................Tennis: Washington

07:20 ...... American Pickers

20:00.............The Three CW Day Nanny choice

15:15 .............Secret Liaison

21:00........... Hunt for the Arctic Ghost Ship

17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

22:00.................. Not Safe for Work

18:30..... 5 News Tonight

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

15:30 ............. Megatruckers

19:00.. Police Interceptors

15:00 ......................The Flash

18:00........ Megatruckers

22:50......... A Very British Brothel

20:00...The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies

16:00............. The Simpsons

18:30........ Megatruckers

23:50.............. Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure

21:00............... Can’t Pay? Benefits Special

17:00..............The Simpsons

22:00.............Botched Up Bodies

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

00:50 ..........KOTV Boxing Weekly 01:15 ................... Gillette World Sport 01:45.................... Mobil 1 The Grid

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17:00.................. 5 News at 5

23:00..... Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole

16:30 .............The Simpsons 18:00............... Futurama 20:00 ..... Modern Family

19:00.... Storage Hunters 19:30.... Storage Hunters 20:30.... Storage Hunters 21:00....................... QI XL 22:00 ........... Taskmaster

00:00..... Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole

22:50 ............ Strike Back

23:00........ Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

00:50 ........ Hawaii Five-0

00:00....................... QI XL

01:00..........Super Casino

01:40 ........ Hawaii Five-0

01:00...............Room 101

21:00 ..................Cellular

New Tricks BBC1, 21.00

In part one of a special double episode, Gerry is spooked by the discovery of UCOS’ latest victim: a cop, whose body has laid untouched under a basement for 30 years.

As deep-rooted accusations of police corruption and underhand dealings begin to surface, Gerry has to face up to some skeletons in his own closet, and it’s a race against time for the team to help him before his murky past catches up with him.

While babysitting his grandson, Gerry becomes convinced that only he holds the key to the investigation and leaves the team quite literally holding the baby as he goes AWOL in a bid to uncover the truth.

10:00 .................................. The Restoration Man 11:05 ....At the Earth’s Core 12:55 ...................Time Team 14:00... Come Dine with Me 14:35 ...Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun 17:45......A Place in the Sun 18:50...........................The Restoration Man 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 22:00......Kevin Mccloud’s Escape to the Wild 23:05......... Embarrassing Bodies 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

The Three Day Nanny Channel 4, 20:00

The Hunter family in Bournemouths have called in the Three Day Nanny Kathryn Mewes to help with their bossy three-yearold daughter Florence.

Mum Ruth is running around after Florence all day and simple tasks like hair brushing turn into protracted battles, while dad Andy is so besotted with Florence he will do anything to keep her happy.

When Kathryn arrives at the family home Florence is in for a rude awakening.

Kathryn needs Ruth and Andy to show Florence that they are in charge.

Working for three days and nights, she introduces a new regime that challenges Florence’s control of the household, and causes fireworks along the way. It’s an emotional time for Ruth and Andy as they realise how much they must change.

Are Our Kids Tough Enough?

BBC2, 21:00 In a unique experiment, five teachers from China take over the education of fifty teenagers in a Hampshire school to see whether the high-ranking Chinese education system can teach us a lesson. Will the harsh regime of long days and strict discipline produce superior students? Or will the clash of two cultures create chaos in the classroom? After four weeks, the Chinese and British systems will go head to head with the whole year group sitting exams to see which teaching style gets the best results. Day one of the experiment proves a shock for everyone, and there are tears when the teenagers discover just how competitive the Chinese teachers expect them to be.

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TV Guide

Earth’s Natural Wonders BBC1, 21.00

Across our planet there are a handful of places that truly astonish: Mount Everest, the Grand Canyon and Victoria Falls. These natural wonders share one other thing: they pose extraordinary challenges for their inhabitants.

This landmark series combines stunning photography and compelling human drama as it reveals 12 remarkable places - and discovers the stories of people fighting to survive, and even triumph, in Earth’s Natural Wonders.

Episode one, Extreme Wonders, tells the stories of the ultimate wonders of their kind, from the highest mountain to the greatest canyon, and shows how these places test their inhabitants to the limit.

On Mount Everest a team of Sherpa must rope a route through the notorious Khumbu Icefall, a glacier that will soon claim a dozen lives in a terrible disaster. In the Amazon Rainforest, two nine yearold boys must undergo a terrifying rite of passage involving hundreds of ants with the most painful stings on Earth. In the Grand Canyon conservationists desperately try to ensure the survival of one of America’s few surviving condor chicks.

In one of our planet’s biggest caves, a man’s fate hangs by a thread as he climbs for treasure 100 metres up. On the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, farmers fight pitched battles in the dead of night to save their crops from marauding elephants. And in a deep and isolated bay, fishermen and sharks form an unlikely alliance that could spell ruin - or triumph.

Each of these wondrous places has created extreme challenges for their inhabitants, and fundamentally shaped the lives of those who dare to call them ‘home’.

31st July - 6th August 2015

W ednesday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera 11:30 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:45..........................Doctors 14:15........................ The Link 15:0................. Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30.......... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 19:00...... The Sheriffs are Coming 20:00.... The Great British Bake Off 21:00.....Earth’s Natural W C Wonders choice 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:35.............. Cashing In 23:35...........Britain at the Bookies

06:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 07:00............. Close Calls: On Camera 07:30 ............... Heir Hunters 08:15 .......................See Hear 08:45... Antiques Roadshow 09:15... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00 .................Britain’s First Photo Album 12:3...............Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 13:00.... The Rockford Files 13:50.........Cash in the Attic 14:35................ Yes, Minister 15:05 .....................‘Allo, ‘Allo!

15:30 ..............Are You Being Served?

16:00 ...................Swimming 18:00............. Two Tribes 18:30.............. Eggheads 19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure 19:30..Great British Menu 20:00................Horizon CW ch oice 21:00.......Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Inside the Post Office 22:00 ........................... QI 22:30............. Newsnight

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 10:55...................... ITV News 11:00.............. This Morning 12:30...... Guess This House 13:30.............. ITV News and Weather 14:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............Secret Dealers 16:00 ........... Hello Campers 17:00 ...................Freeze Out 18:00 ................ ITV News London 18:30 .........ITV News and Weather 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30..............Coronation Street 20:00...........Foyle’s War

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22:00 ..... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40 .............. Abducted 23:40 ........ Tipping Point 00:35 ........... Jackpot247

Horizon BBC2, 20:00 Horizon reveals the scale of the problem of space junk, with first-hand accounts from astronauts and experts. In 2014, the International Space Station had to move three times to avoid lethal chunks of space debris and there is an increasing problem of satellites mysteriously breaking down. Our planet is surrounded by hundreds of millions of pieces of junk moving at 17,000 miles per hour. Now the US government is investing a billion dollars to track them, and companies around the world are developing ways to clear up their mess - from robot arms to nets and harpoons. Horizon investigates the science behind the hit film Gravity and discovers the reality is far more worrying than the Hollywood fiction.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

ednesday

5 th

06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 ..........................Will and Grace

06:10................. Igam Ogam

07:10 ..........................Will and Grace 07:35.......... King of Queens 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:20........... Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

09:00........................... Frasier

07:20 ....The Mr. Men Show

09:30........................... Frasier

07:35 ..........................Thomas and Friends

10:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

07:10 ............. Little Princess

07:45 ... Milkshake Monkey 07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

11:00............. The Simpsons

08:00........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:30 .............The Simpsons

08:15..................... Peppa Pig

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05................... Come Dine with Me Abroad 13:10 ................Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 14:10 .................Countdown 15:00 ............................Fifteen to One 16:00............................ French Collection 17:00............. Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 ....... The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 ..................Channel 4 News

08:30 .................... Milkshake!

Bop Box 08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus 08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

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06:00.............. Life’s Funniest Moments 06:20 ............................. Psych 07:05 ..................Emmerdale 08:05.................. You’ve Been Framed!

08:35................ Dinner Date 09:35.............................. Psych 10:25 .........................The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 13:15............ Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40 .............. Judge Rinder 15:45 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00................. Derailed 23:10....... Celebrity Juice 23:55................Safeword

06:10 ................ Doctor Who 07:00... Masterchef Canada 08:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00 .............. Nick Knowles’ Original Features 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 13:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 14:00 .............. Nick Knowles’ Original Features 15:00 ................. Traffic Cops 16:00 .......................... The Bill 17:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 18:00............Doctor Who 19:00..............Masterchef Canada 20:00............. The Glades 21:00 ....... Derren Brown: Evening of Wonders 22:30.......... Saving Hope 23:3............. Booze Patrol Australia

08:55.....Location, Location, Location

06:00.....Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie

07:00....................... Flip Men 07:20 ........ Storage Hunters 07:45 ........ Storage Hunters 09:00.............. Megatruckers 09:30............. Megatruckers 10:00............. Megatruckers 10:30............. Megatruckers 14:00 ........ Storage Hunters 14:30 ........ Storage Hunters 15:00.. Storage Hunters UK 15:30......... Storage Hunters 16:00......... Storage Hunters 16:30........ Storage Hunters 20:00....................... QI XL 21:00...............Room 101 21:40...............Room 101 22:20............ Taskmaster 23:20...... Mock the Week 00:00....................... QI XL 01:00................... Storage Hunters UK 01:30.... Storage Hunters

06:00........... Premier League 100 Club

12:10... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15.Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away: Final Demand 13:15 ........Home and Away 13:45 ...................Neighbour 14:15 ............................... NCIS 15:15................. Flirting with Danger

07:00 ................ Monkey Life 07:30 ................ Monkey Life 08:00 ................................Glee 09:00 ......................The Flash 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

17:30 .................Neighbours

13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

18:00.... Home and Away

14:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

21:00.................One Born Every Minute

18:30..... 5 News Tonight

15:00...................... The Flash

19:00 ....Trauma Doctors

16:00 .............The Simpsons

22:00 ..............Witnesses

20:00 ...... The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

16:30 .............The Simpsons

21:00.............Undercover Benefits Cheat

18:30........ The Simpsons

22:00.Wentworth Prison

21:00.....An Idiot Abroad

23:10 .................. Married Behind Bars 00:10.....................Four to the Floor

11:05............. Hugh’s 3 Good Things 11:15....Son of Robin Hood 12:55................... Time Team 14:00.. Come Dine with Me 16:40 .....A Place in the Sun 17:45 .....A Place in the Sun 18:50...........................The Restoration Man 19:55............. The World’s Weirdest Weather 21:00............Four Rooms 22:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:10......... Embarrassing Bodies 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10............Four Rooms

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

20:00 .............Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free

10:00 .................................. The Restoration Man

09:00................... Tickety Toc 11:10....... Cowboy Builders

00:35 ........ Embarrassing Bodies

23:00.............. Gypsies on Benefits and Proud

01:35............. 24 Hours in A and E

00:55..........Super Casino

00:00.................. Benefits

33 CW

18:00............... Futurama 20:00.......... Desi Rascals 22:00......... Hawaii Five-0 00:00................. NCIS: Los Angeles 01:00........ Hawaii Five-0

06:30........... Premier League 100 Club 07:00...................The Premier League Years 17:00........... Premier League 100 Club 17:30.......... Premier League 18:00...... Premier League 100 Club 18:30................ Football’s Greatest Managers 19:00................ Football’s Greatest Teams 19:30..................Football 22:00.............A League of Their Own 23:00................ Football’s Greatest Teams 23:30..... Premier League 00:00.......... International Champions Cup

Foyle’s War ITV1, 20:00

Three-part series set in the era of the Cold War. Foyle is told by the head of MI5 that eminent art historian Professor Van Haren is actually a highranking Nazi whose real name is Karl Strasser.

MI5 are protecting him because he is a valuable intelligence asset, but someone is now trying to kill him and he wants Foyle to investigate.

Arthur Valentine makes it clear that he neither likes the man nor agrees with the decision to give him a new identity. After a meeting with Foyle, Van Haren accuses him of not taking his allegations seriously, but he returns to his boarding house to find a sinister dried sunflower on his pillow.

Meanwhile, Sam tells Foyle that her husband Adam is so busy as a new MP that she may not be able to share some big news with him.

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

T hursday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera 11:30 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ........................The Link 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30.......... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 18:30. BBC London News 19:00........... Fake Britain 19:30 ............ EastEnders 20:00............ Traffic Cops 21:00.. Death in Paradise 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .BBC London News 22:35.......... Reggie Yates’ Extreme Russia 23:35...... Operation Wild

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06:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 07:00 ............ Close Calls: On Camera 07:30 ............... Heir Hunters 08:15 ............................. Coast 09:15 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 .....................BBC News 12:00................. Britain’s First Photo Album 12:30 ............Railways of the Great War with Michael Portillo 13:00.... The Rockford Files 13:50........ Cash in the Attic 14:35 ................Yes, Minister 15:05 .....................‘Allo, ‘Allo!

15:30 ..............Are You Being Served?

16:00................... Swimming 18:00............. Two Tribes 18:30.............. Eggheads 19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure CW 19:30.. Great British Menuchoice 20:00...................... Coast 21:00............Atlantic: The Wildest Ocean on Earth 22:00 .............The Javone Prince Show 22:30..............Newsnight

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 10:55 ...................... ITV News 11:00 .............. This Morning 12:30 ......Guess This House 13:30 .............. ITV News and Weather 14:00.................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............Secret Dealers 16:00 ........... Hello Campers 17:00................... Freeze Out 18:00................ ITV News London 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30.... Real Stories with Ranvir Singh 20:00............ Emmerdale 20:30...............Flockstars 21:00..........The Wonder W C of Britain choice 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40......................Sports Life Stories 23:40................... Murder, She Wrote

The Wonder of Britain ITV1, 21.00

Celebrating some of the most impressive natural and manmade wonders that make Britain great.

Julia Bradbury embarks on a stunning 12,000mile journey around the country to some of Britain’s most spectacular locations and chooses some of the greatest assets she believes we should be most proud of.

Taking in our industrial, natural and royal heritage, Julia’s scope encompasses rolling countryside, dramatic coastline, bird-filled archipelagos and deep dizzying gorges to beautifully eclectic buildings; from grand stately homes to cramped industrial era terraces. She investigates our industrial past and learns about how our engineering achievements re-shaped the world. Beautifully captured using the latest cameras and technology, combined with aerial and time-lapse photography, the Wonder of Britain is vividly brought to life.

In episode three, Julia looks at our coastal story. Britain’s coastline stretches for over 19,000 miles and is longer than that of India. Julia’s list of coastal wonders celebrates everything from our wildlife and scenery, to industry and our coast’s role in keeping Britain safe. She begins in search of puffins on the Farne Islands, one of Britain’s most bird-rich archipelagos.

Next she heads north to Scotland’s Outer Hebrides where, after visiting the Isle of Barra’s unique beach airport, she is in search of special seaweed on the Isle of Lewis. A bath in it is supposed to help defy ageing and Julia decides to indulge: Julia says: “I’ve always been a really big fan of the outdoor shower, but I think this experience might actually top it. The next time you see me I’ll be 20 years younger.”

Britain’s ports are our gateway to the world and Julia’s list includes Fowey in Cornwall where huge cargo carriers must be skilfully piloted into the narrow channel. She then moves up the coast to Looe where the freshest fish imaginable, go from sea to stomach in under 24 hours.

Julia celebrates some of Britain’s great ship building heritage with a moving story at the home of the Titanic – Harland and Wolff. For the final wonder on her list, Julia goes deep under the ‘Key to England’ Dover Castle and explores the wartime secret tunnels that were used to save the nation during the evacuation of Dunkirk in WW2.

hursday

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TV Guide

31st July - 6th August 2015

6 th 06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45............ Will and Grace

06:10................. Igam Ogam

07:10 ............Will and Grace

06:20........... Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:35 ........................... King of Queens 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00........................... Frasier 09:30........................... Frasier 10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 10:30........................... The Big Bang Theory 11:00 .............The Simpsons 11:30............. The Simpsons

06:00 ..............Life’s Funniest Moments 06:20 ............................. Psych 07:05 ..................Emmerdale 07:35......Coronation Street 08:05.................. You’ve Been Framed!

08:35................ Dinner Date 09:35............................. Psych 10:25......................... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:40 .....Coronation Street 13:15 ........... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 13:40 ................ Dinner Date 14:40.............. Judge Rinder 15:45 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

19:35 ...........The Mummy Returns 22:00 ...............Safeword 22:45....... Celebrity Juice

06:15................. Doctor Who 07:00... Masterchef Canada 08:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 09:00 .............. Nick Knowles’ Original Features 10:00........................... The Bill 11:00 ................. Traffic Cops 12:00..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 13:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 14:00............... Nick Knowles’ Original Features 15:00.................. Traffic Cops 16:00.......................... The Bill 17:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 18:00............Doctor Who 19:00..............Masterchef Canada 20:00............. The Glades 21:00............. Beauty and the Beast 22:00.................One Born Every Minute

08:55.....Location, Location, Location

12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime

06:00 .............. The Real A&E

07:00........................ Flip Men

12:15 ...........Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild

06:30 .............. The Real A&E

07:20....... American Pickers

06:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club

07:00................ Monkey Life

08:10....... American Pickers

07:30................ Monkey Life

09:00 ........ Storage Hunters

08:00 ................................Glee

09:30 ........ Storage Hunters

09:00.......................The Flash

10:00 ........ Storage Hunters

10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

10:30........ Storage Hunters

11:00...............Hawaii Five-0

14:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

14:30 .... Lizard Lick Towing

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

15:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing

15:00 ......................The Flash

15:30..... Lizard Lick Towing

16:00 .............The Simpsons

17:30..... Lizard Lick Towing

16:30 .............The Simpsons

18:00..................... Lizard Lick Towing

06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

07:10............. Little Princess 07:20.... The Mr. Men Show 07:35................. Thomas and Friends 07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:15..................... Peppa Pig

12:05......... Come Dine with Me Abroad

08:35 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus

13:10 ................Phil Spencer: Secret Agent

08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

14:10 .................Countdown

09:00................... Tickety Toc

15:00 ............Fifteen to One 16:00 ............................French Collection 17:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 ....... The Simpsons

08:25......................Peppa Pig

14:15 ............................... NCIS 15:15 ...........Gracie’s Choice 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00 ... Home and Away 18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks

19:00 ...........Cricket on 5

19:00.... Channel 4 News

20:00 ........... The Holiday Airport: Sun, Sea and Scousers

22:00............. 999: What’s Your Emergency?

23:00............. 24 Hours in Police Custody

10:30....River Cottage Bites 10:50...........The Truth about Spring 12:55 ...................Time Team 14:00 ................... Come Dine with Me 14:35 ................... Come Dine with Me 16:40 .....A Place in the Sun 17:45 .....A Place in the Sun 18:50 ..........................The Restoration Man 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00.....Kirstie and Phil’s Love it or List it 22:00............. 24 Hours in A and E 23:05......... Embarrassing Bodies

11:10....... Cowboy Builders

13:45 .................Neighbours

21:00 ........... Sex in Class

10:00................ Small Animal Hospital

09:15........ The Wright Stuff

13:15 ........Home and Away

20:00................ Location, Location, Location

A ugust

21:00 ............ Supersized 22:00 ................Person of Interest 22:55 ................Person of Interest 23:55.................... Access

18:00 .............. Futurama 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 20:00 ..........OAP Internet Virgins 20:30...... Modern Family 21:00 ....................... Glee

18:30..................... Lizard Lick Towing 19:00.... Storage Hunters 19:30.... Storage Hunters 20:00....................... QI XL

22:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

21:00...................... QI XL

23:00................. NCIS: Los Angeles

23:20........................... QI

22:00..... Mock the Week

06:30........... Premier League 100 Club 07:00 ..................The Premier League Years 09:00 ..................The Premier League Years 11:00 ..................The Premier League Years 13:00 ..................The Premier League Years 15:00 ..................The Premier League Years 17:00................ International Champions Cup 19:30......... Super League Play-Offs 22:30...................Football Gold 23:15...................Football Gold 23:30......... Super League Highlights

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Traffic Cops BBC1, 20:00

Excess Alcohol.

Documentary series following the traffic police as they enforce the law on some of Britain’s busiest and most dangerous roads. Every year more than 250 people die on Britain’s roads as result of drink driving. In 2014, North Yorkshire Police arrested up to 1000 drivers for being above the legal alcohol limit, and with some of the highest rates of drink driving in the country, all too often North Yorkshire’s traffic officers are faced with the tragic consequences of motorists driving under the influence. When a driver loses control of his car on a rural road and dies at the scene of the accident, they have to investigate the final hours of the man’s life prior to the crash to try to determine the cause.

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What’s On in Tenerife

31st July - 6th August 2015

The La Caleta Bay Swim The La Caleta Bay Swim returns this weekend. Now in it’s fourth year it takes place this Saturday at 1pm. The 1.3km swim between Playa de La Enramada and Playa de Varadero is always well supported and every year there are more and more swimmers taking part. La Caleta comes alive in the afternoon as everyone celebrates the event!

When: Saturday 1st August Where: La Caleta Bay More details: www.adeje.es

El Medano food fayre Today (Friday) El Médano plaza hosts Sensaciones El Médano – Sabores de Verano. In the daytime over 30 local food growers and producers offer their products, crafts, food and wine to the public. Then from 6pm until late their will be live music and tapas dishes available!

When: Friday 31st July 10.30am - 2.30pm, 6pm - 1am Where: El Medano Plaza

Santa Cruz museum of fine arts This museum consists of 14 rooms and the collection is made up mainly of paintings, although there are also exhibits of sculptures and of the lesser arts. It has both its own pieces and a deposit of the works of the Prado Museum in Madrid from the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries.

Where: C/ Jose Murphy, 12 Plaza del Principe in Santa Cruz When: Tuesday to Friday, from 10:00 to 20:00h Saturday and Sunday from 10:00 to 15:00h (Monday closed).

More details: 922 274786

Dorada Brewery Tour The local beer company opens its doors to unveil the manufacturing process of Dorada beer, from the collection of raw materials to bottling. It’s a guided tour through the facilities, explaining each stage of the brewing process. And at the end of the visit you will be invited to a Dorada or two in the Tasting Room. Booking is highly recommended.

When: Every Tuesday Where: Avenida de Ángel Romero in Santa Cruz More info: doradatour.es

Monje wine tour

Tegueste Tour Enjoy the scenery and explore the history of the town of Tegueste via over 30 thematic routes that take place throughout the year. Specialised guides will show you the most beautiful scenery of the town, its historical, artistic and archaeological heritage and, of course, vineyards and everything related to its great wine tradition. There are hiking trails, dramatised routes that will transport you to the past or night routes for a unique experience under the moon.

When: Every Day More Info www.tegueste.org

Visit the Monje Winery and test the wine and gastronomy of Tenerife. The landscape all around the winery is a delight to behold: vineyards, mountains, the sea and the sun. It is a perfect spot to live and nurture our wines. Built in 1956, the winery was modernised in 1983 but still holds the original oak barrels, nearly 200 years old, where the traditional red wine is left to ferment and mature.

Ageold practices go hand in hand with modern-day technology.

The winery accommodates all the grape harvesting requirements with its capacity to hold 160,000 litres.

Where: El Sauzal When: Every day from 10am More details: www.bodegasmonje.com

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Entertainment

31st July - 6th August 2015

37 CW

THE COWBOY DJ!

By Jamie Droo A FEW weeks ago, I mentioned on this page that I would be interviewing a very interesting, funny character, who has plenty of life experience.

And over the years he has spent working in Tenerife, he has gained a wealth of experience working as a DJ in the clubs and pubs of Starco and Veronicas.

Last Thursday, I sat in a small Torviscas café and chatted about life for a while with DJ Zeke.

The first thing I discover is that Zeke is his real name. For years I, along with many people who live and work alongside him, believed this was just a nickname.

So I was surprised to find out that his father had taken the name from a cowboy comic he was reading at the time his son arrived in to the world.

I thought I would get that in first, by way of an explanation of the headline. But no jokes, please! When it comes to his craft, Zeke is nothing but the complete professional at work. He began life here in Tenerife as a chef and had never DJ’d before.

His entertainment career was spurred on in an old saloon in downtown Las Americas, where Zeke was in the saddle as a chef when a stranger walked in for something to eat.

That stranger happened to be the resident party DJ in a bar called 007’s and was having a bit of a moan about not having had a night off in six weeks. So Zeke offered to do a night for him and the stranger asked him to come in for a 15-minute trial.

That initial quarterhour ended up being two hours as the barowners kept Zeke behind the decks. And so it began.

He went on to work in practically every fun pub in the area, doing nights off for resident DJs. He soon became

known as a reliable and talented DJ. Zeke puts this down to the fact that he has watched some of Tenerife’s finest party DJs in bars like Linekers, with pioneers like DJ Dirk Diggler, whose name strangely resembles that of a cowboy, too, and he was synonymous with creating the Linekers format.

His ability to grasp technology has also helped him along the way by keeping up-todate constantly with the latest gadgets and, of late, computer software and storage, and access hardware for his music collection.

Zeke also tips his tengallon hat to other disc jocks like DJ Fletcher, whom he describes as an incredibly-talented performer whose passion for music, and the way he drops his mixes, are second to none.

Fletch is resident in Sugar Reef, on Veronicas strip - and that is also where you will find Zeke working behind the decks on Wednesdays - DJ Fletcher’s night off.

I found Zeke so humble when it comes to his own ability, and he admits he has not spent years and years refining his skills like those mentioned previously. He says that the buck stops here in Tenerife when it comes to his own skillset.

Zeke told me there was no way he could step out of this environment and into that of Ibiza and get the same effect from his DJ style.

However, he knows this scene inside out and knows what works.

He tells me that Tenerife holiday-makers have a very commercial taste when it comes to music which also involves some aspects of house music and R & B.

And on Wednesday nights, Zeke plays house music only in Sugar Reef, but he admits that his set does have a sprinkling of the commercial house that is in the UK Top 40 singles chart.

I asked him his opinion on a musical genre known as Cheese, a style of music filled with timeless classics from artistes like Wham, The Nolans, S Club 7, Abba and Candi Staton and so many more.

His reply was laced with laughter, but he admits that it works for the right crowd in the right places.

Zeke can be found at O’Neill’s party bar, on the upper level of Veronicas, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. This bar attracts groups like stag-andhen parties, and birthday parties, where this is the type of music that he gets asked for all the time.

That brings me on to the next part of our interview, when I asked Zeke how he deals with those requests that are simply not appropriate for the bar. He gives me an example of an Irish girl who asked him to play Westlife.

Zeke refuses pointblank to play Westlife in any venue, and tells me he has deleted their entire back catalogue from his database. He describes their music as romantic, house-cleaning dross.

Then the girl says: “But this is an Irish bar and I’m Irish, so you should be playing something Irish.”

Zeke’s reply was simple: “Yes you’re right.

Would you like me to play The Boomtown Rats?”

“Who are they?” came the Irish girl’s reply.

At which point, Zeke dropped their I Don’t Like Mondays

before telling the girl to “go away in short, s h a r p , jerky movements”.

Zeke is a no-nonsense DJ, and those who know him will agree he has a unique way of telling people to go away when they are talking rubbish to him. He has many pet hates, but the biggest gripe is when a tourist comes and says: “I’m a DJ back home.

Can I have a go on your decks?” His initial reply to that frequentlyasked question is unprintable.

However, he elaborates and says that you wouldn’t go in to McDonald’s and say, “I make burgers back home. Can I come and make my own quarterpounder?”

As you can imagine, this interview was full of laughter. Zeke is a very funny guy, but he loves his job and if you want to hear the laughs that we had during this interview, a link to the full-recorded interview will be printed in next week’s issue.

Before I sign off for this week, I would like to leave you with something funny. If you are in Tenerife and would like to have a laugh, what you should do is this: instead of asking Zeke politely for a song request, go to one of the venues

he works in and hold up your phone to him in the DJ booth while connected to Youtube with the song you want playing.

And don’t forget, do not say a thing. Just hold the phone up he loves that! Try to

choose a song like Cotton Eyed Joe, a good cowboy song.

You can find DJ Zeke at Irish Branigans on Tuesday and Thursday.

On Wednesday at Sugar Reef, and on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at O’Neill’s.

CW 38

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Wine and Dine

31st July - 6th August 2015

Mama Mia A classy restaurant, which offers among its specialties, pasta and pizza in Italian style.

In a fine environment, you can enjoy Italian dishes that will surely leave you fully satisfied. It is characterised by homemade pasta, offering a wide variety that can be combined with different sauces. It features a selection of Italian quality wines, in a traditional family, based on the quality and hospitality of professionals.

CC Americas Plaza, Las Americas

Call: 922 797 082

The Swan

The Bistro

Fresh food served 7 days a week, all with good quality produce. We also cater for any special requirements.

Bistro Restaurant is now open for lunch, serving the most famous pies, sausage rolls, quiches, sandwiches and different specials every day. All homemade and freshly baked, plus drinks offers every lunchtime including local wine at 1 euro per glass, 1.50 euros for Torres wines, 1 euro a pint and 2 euros for local spirits.

Daily Specials. Friday: Cod and chips night.

Sunday Lunch: 12noon - 8pm.

24hr notice for paella, lamb shank, fillet steak or ask us for anything you fancy.

Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings. Great entertainment, even greater value!

Ed. Florin, Calle Valle Menendez, behind the Cultural Centre, Los Cristianos

In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos

Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm

Open: Mon - Sat, midday - 4pm, 6pm - late. Sun, midday - late.

Call: 922 795 823

Call: 698 396 367

The Waterfall Live Entertainment every Thursday and Sunday. Come and see our poster boards to find out who’s on.

Full-size snooker table, pool tables and dart boards.

Restaurant open 11am, all day to 9pm.

Pint of beer and large wine from 2 euros.

A lovely place to be!

Las Adelfas 2 complex, Golf del Sur

Open: All day everyday

Call: 922 737 779

Belgabar Belgabar has very quickly become a favourite for diners. Our selective menu includes the finest prime steak, fresh seafood and vegetable dishes and a tropical dining experience not to be missed. There is an extensive wine menu, which includes local produce, and a range of international beers.

Belgabar menu is popular, so reservations are recommended.

You must try the house special!

Open 7 days a week Every day (9am - 5pm) For breakfasts, lunches, snacks & cakes.

Beer, wine, spirits, coffee & a proper pot of tea.

BBQ Wednesday Nights (6pm to last orders 9pm) Don’t like BBQs? - Full menu available. (booking strongly advised)

Every Sunday (12noon - 6pm) Traditional Sunday Roast - Beef - Chicken - Pork

Every Friday Best ‘Cod & Chips’ with our own beer batter

Beachfront, The Patch, Las Americas, next to Burger King

*Try our Homemade liqueur ice-creams

Open: 12pm til late

Pueblo Canario, Las Americas

Call: 674 578 413

Call: 603 153 580

* Try our Sangria - one of the best on the island * Try our home-made cakes & desserts - baked on the premises

barraquito A traditional after dinner drink that is particular only to Tenerife. Cut out this advert & try a FREE barraquito for yourself.

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Wine and Dine

31st July - 6th August 2015

39 CW

Cozy Cafe, Pueblo Canario

A Cozy home-made delight This week I was able to enjoy something a little different. Normally in this column I get to experience an evening service but this time it was a wonderful lazy lunch.

That’s not to say that the quaint Cozy Cafe is not a place for evening meals, far from it. One of the great pleasures of the Cozy Cafe is the view you get from your table which overlooks the beach. It’s a peaceful place to sit, unwind and peruse the menu, which was very extensive. There was so much to try especially from their home baked range.

All their pies, quiches, and extensive cake selection are home-made on the premises by their dedicated baker Kenny. He is at work every day at 6am, baking and preparing all the Cafe’s fresh products.

Of particular interest was the fine desert

selections. These feature Victoria Sponge, St Clements’ Cheesecake, Rhubarb crumble, proper Bread and Butter Pudding a variety of liquor ice-creams and huge eclairs.

Since it was lunchtime and a warm day my wife and I opted for something light and we had to try out Kenny’s home baked goods!

My better half went for the home-made Cheese-and-Onion Pie while I had the Baconand-Cheese quiche with salad.

The Cheese-and-Onion-Pie was creamy and extremely tasty, and the pastry was just right.

There is nothing better than putting your fork through a real homebaked crust.

My Bacon-and-Cheese Quiche was another winner with a side-salad that came with just a bit of every salad fea-

ture you could possibly want.

The Cozy Cafe has been open for over 10 years with David at the helm, making sure everything runs smoothly with the help of his friendly, happy staff, for whom nothing was too much trouble.

After finishing our tasty main course, we sat back and had a cool long drink and watched the world go by.

But I could see my wife’s attention was being drawn to the extensive dessert display, with over 10 varieties

of cakes and pastries, all home-made as mentioned earlier.

We took ages to decide what to have and we had one of those fun arguments over what to try. You know the type.

“If you try that one I can have a bit as well...” which is always followed by “Yeah but I want to try this dish, so if you have that I want some as well..”

Finally, I chose the St Clements’ Cheesecake and the wife went for the overfilled Cream Slice.

The Cheesecake did

not disappoint light, fluffy and creamy, with a zing of orange running through it, while the cheesecake base was crunchy and moreish.

The wife went very quiet for five minutes as she tackled the cream slice - and if the wife is quiet, that means she is a contented, happy bunny.

The Cozy Cafe is easy to find: just walk up from the casino in Las Americas and it is 20 metres on your left with that covered terrace.

And very cool it is in this

extreme summer heat.

Every Wednesday, they have have a bbq evening, at which you can “te” pick and choose from their succulent bbq offerings (booking is advisable, on 603 153 580, as this is a very popular evening). And on Sundays, they serve a traditional Sunday roast from midday till 6pm.

If you fancy some firstclass, home-made, traditional English fayre in a cosy atmosphere, the Cozy Cafe is for you. Enjoy!

CW 40

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Wine and Dine

31st July - 6th August 2015

Rumours The Palms Pool Bar & Restaurant

Lupita

The Most Beautiful Cabaret Bar on Golf del Sur. “HOME OF CRAIGS CREATIONS” Lots of Traditional Dishes plus Imaginative, UNIQUE, and EXCITING CUISINE for you to enjoy!

NEW SUMMER CABARET 9pm Monday – The Commitments Tuesday – Ronnie J Haynes Wednesday – Dave Michaels Friday – the Memphis Belles Call in or check boards for Cabaret Specials!

PLUS YOU FAVOURITES: Monday, Thursday & Saturday Dales Quiz and Karaoke Nights.

Wednesday & Saturday - Fun Bingo 4.30 & 6.30`pm Wednesday & Sunday - Tony Sullivan Tipsy Time Daily 4-7pm 1.50 euros - Large Draught Lager 1.50 euros - Large House Wine 2.50 euros - Local Spirit & Draught Mixer

Parque de la Reina has a secret - Lupita restaurant is fast becoming the place to eat, and it has a well-deserved reputation.

All the usual Mexican specialities are on offer, but from midday until 4pm, check out its 3.95euro menu. You can have a bowl of soup or garlic bread, main meal (selection of 20) and ice cream or coffee to finish, which is excellent value for money. Also, evening and weekend menus are available from 4.95-euros. Now open Mondays!

FREE 1/2ltr Margarita when 2 people dine from the A La Carte menu!

Palms Pool bar and Restaurant, Golf Del Sur

Open: daily, 12noon - 11.30pm

Call: 679 721 005 / 667 098 126 / 922 738 809

Cañada Blanca 2, Parque de la Reina

Call: 922 739 250

A friendly bar serving fabulous home made English food with breakfast, light lunches and evening meals.

Also, now famous for their Sunday lunches with a choice of meats and all fresh vegetables.

The menu combines traditional with the more adventurous and truly homemade.

Or maybe just stop for a drink on their sunny terrace.

With entertainment nightly, including Karoke.

Plus don’t miss BG´s award-winning comedy show every Saturday.

At Rumours there really is something for everyone, great food great beer, great entertainment!

Paloma Beach, Los Cristianos

Open: 9am til late

Call: 922 792 608

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Lifestyle

31st July - 6th August 2015

Boho chic is back...

Thrill-seekers, climb aboard!

By Vanessa Vee WE opted to test the waters on the Jet Ski Safari experience this week. Jet skis have been around for years, and the norm is a 20-minute ride in circles just off the beach.

But the Jet Ski Safari is something totally different, and an absolute must for thrill-seekers.

The two-hour trip from Los Gigantes was our choice because word is that there is so much more to see and do up the West coast of the Island.

A few years previously, I had been on the Amarilla Golf departure and, to be absolutely honest, I hated it as the sea was really rough on that particular day.

We made our own way to the meeting point, though there is a minibus option from all resorts if required. At Los Gigantes Harbour, we were kitted out with life jackets - flattering as always!

The team are very strict on the safety brief because these are huge machines and a colli-

sion could be tragic. So a diagram of the safety boat, plus what positions we should adhere to while following our guide, was discussed.

And we’re off. Instructions on how to drive were quite simple, and we headed up NorthWest to Buenavista. We had selected double jet skis between the four of us, and I had the pleasure of being the passenger.

I love adrenaline, you know, roller-coasters and big theme-park rides, etc. But I just can’t shake off my fear of falling into the sea!

This fear stems from a Jet Ski ride quite a few years ago in India, where I managed to tip one over.

And when they came to rescue me, they were more concerned about the Jet ... and there are sea snakes over there!

BUT I am always trying to overcome my fears; hence the reason I will force myself to go on them! So, after hanging on for dear life, we eventually reached the lighthouse and had a little stop to regain our breath.

It’s fast action, and handling the bikes against the waves can be quite taxing on the shoulders. So we swapped around and it was my turn to take the driver’s seat.

We hurtled back down

the coast and then made a beeline for the caves to explore them.

Wow, some of the scenes were breathtaking.

A photographer is present all the time to take the action shots, and a CD was available to purchase if required to capture the memories.

I have to hold my hands up and admit that no longer could I cope with the sea-spray hitting me, the tugging on my joints or the fear of falling in at speed.

So I called the safety boat over and this was how I completed my trip. But it was still great from the boat, and I was still able to experience every bit of the safari - just not from a jet-ski angle!

We even got to see a turtle, and a shortfinned pilot whale came very close, too.

Adrenaline junkies, this is an amazing excursion and something completely different from the norm. But, I’m sorry to say, it’s not for the faint-hearted, and I obviously fall into that category.

All in all, though, an extremely safe, excellently-run excursion with various options of days, times and durations.

For more information, prices and reservations, please see www.tenerifesunshine.com - or call 922 751 867. ext 1.

41 CW

By Carl from Robot

IF you need to change your look for maybe a special day out, even for going to the beach or maybe it’s a night out and you don’t want the fuss of styling your hair as usual, maybe try a quick and easy plait to ring the changes.

Once you’ve mastered the basic threestrand plait that most of us have been doing since childhood, then it’s easy to create a multitude of designs that last, yet look striking.

Plaiting hair never goes out of fashion, so if you want to learn a few salon tricks, visit YouTube to learn online, simple and easy ways to create amazing styles.

It may look tricky at first, but study the techniques, pick up a few of the basic ones and your away. The easiest are the three-stranded ones, and these can be mixed in with a basic blow-dry or with curls to create “boho chic”.

Don’t worry if it’s not too perfect because that’s the idea … not too rigid if you don’t have the hair to do this, but a cheap hairpiece will do the trick. Even if it’s synthetic but matches your hair, it will look just as good, as long as you don’t put heat on it.

Plaits always look best when you can’t see the end - the elastic band holding the last part together. Make sure you double over the ends to conceal this.

Even a basic ponytail with plaits interwoven around it can look stunning. A loose bun but with sections left out to wrap around will look chic, yet effortless. Just try not to drag all your hair off your head as this can look severe.

Create some height by backcombing the front section, then smooth into the plait you’d like to create. There are

thousands of options, but don’t forget that it mustn’t look overlystyled, or too rigid.

It’s supposed to look as though you did it yourself.

If all else fails, ask a friend to do the plaiting, and you do the styling. It just takes a little practice and a bit of patience. If you’re going to try to recreate this at home, don’t use superclean hair. It works better if slightly dirty - say, day-old hair. You will grip it better and the hair will be more pliable.

Practise before your day/night out to achieve the result you want, or let your stylist go crazy with his/her version of this year’s attentionstealer.

CW 42

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Community News

By Monica Dyson WE all like to get a bit of something for nothing, don’t we? Or at least, to think we are. Take Green Shield Stamps. I wonder if we would be as ready today to collect those little green squares and then spend hours sticking them into small books.

Well, it was usually children who got the dreaded job of sticking them in. Pocket money hard earned! Some of us can remember the taste of the glue to this day!

When I was growing up, the stamps were quite a big part of our lives. Started as a sales promotion or incentive loyalty scheme and to encourage customer loyalty, the Green Shield Trading Stamp Company was brought to the UK in 1958 by entrepreneur Richard Tompkins who bought the name “Green Shield” from a luggage manufacturer, and the

31st July - 6th August 2015

Remembering the taste of that glue!

stamps soon took off in a big way. The timing was good because the UK was enjoying a consumer boom in the Fifties after the depression of the war years.

Wages were higher, employment was at a high and there was a rise in the labour-saving devices that house-

wives realised would make their lives easier.

Collecting stamps would, hopefully, be a means of acquiring some of these household necessities.

It was no longer thought of as unacceptable to purchase things on the “nevernever” and, after the Coronation, people started to look to having a television set as pride of place in their sitting rooms, courtesy of Wigfall’s or Bunnies.

It would, though, be a massive task to save up enough stamps to actually own a small set ... about 88 books in fact!

You could get the stamps at small businesses like corner shops and at petrol stations. You got one stamp for every sixpence spent with 280 stamps in each book.

A complete book was worth £32, which would be £350 today, and for just the one book you could claim exciting free gifts like a mouthorgan, brush-andcomb set or even a set of lager glasses.

To start the collection of essential household items, 33 books would purchase a Ken-

wood Chef food mixer!

At the top end of the scale, for 170 books the equivalent of £5,440 - you could get a Silver Cloud motor boat, although with no outboard motor. Wasn’t it on everyone’s “musthave” list in those days?

Green Shield Stamps gave a new slant on collecting for your “bottom drawer”, which was what every newly-engaged couple did.

They hoped to have at least enough bedding and tea towels to start them off in married life although, if they relied totally on the stamps, it would have been best to have a very long engagement!

The Co-op also gave stamps. They were blue and introduced after the method of recording dividends, or divi as commonly known, became cumbersome.

(Who remembers their mother’s dividend number? I know many people still do).

Historically, member’s sales were recorded in ledgers in stores but, as societies grew, it became a laborious task and so some stores started the sav-

ings-stamp scheme.

When the books were full, they could be paid for goods or into share accounts.

I remember that my mother found the money from the savings books very useful when my sister and I required school uniforms in the Fifties.

The Co-op started another savings-stamp scheme in 2013, in which customers could purchase £1 stamps and, if redeeming in December, received a £2 bonus.

By the Seventies, the owner of Green Shield Stamps realised that the boom would not last for ever and the company was rebranded as Argos, with its first store opening in Canterbury in 1973.

Richard Tompkins, on holiday in Greece, saw just the name for his stores when visiting the city of Argos.

After the closure of the Green Shield Stamp Shops, there was a transition period when you could still redeem the Stamps at Argos stores, either as full payment or partpayment until the company completely sus-

pended sale of stamps.

Argos stores remain popular in the UK to this day, although being bought in 1998 by GUS plc, and after that by the Homebase chain. The stores face stiff competition these days from many other retailers who have opted for Argos-style shopping sections in their stores.

The name Green Shield Stamp became part of British retail folklore. Genesis, in the song Dancing with the Moonlit Knight, mentions them and also Jethro Tull in the song Broadford Bazaar.

Michael Flanders makes reference to them in the opening patter to the Flanders and Swann song Sounding Brass.

Green Shield stamp books, either full or empty, can be bought today on Ebay. A recent seller asked for £2.95 for a full book!

Although there are probably far too many of them still around to be sought after as collectors’ items, it’s interesting to see them and remember the days of sticking the stamps in - and the taste of that glue!

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Community News

31st July - 6th August 2015

43 CW

Accion del Sol news

Ticks, fleas - and poor little mites THIS week has again seen a large number of abandoned puppies arrive at the refuge, covered in ticks, fleas and tummies full of worms.

Our vet has been busy treating these poor little animals and, once they have had all the necessary treatment, including being castrated and micro-chipped, they will all be available for adoption.

We can never emphasise enough the importance of preventing our pets from breeding by sterilising them in an effort to reduce the large numbers of abandoned

puppies and dogs on the Island.

Please contact us if you are interested in adopt-

ing one of the many dogs, old and young, at the refuge. No adoption fee is charged, but do-

nations are welcomed towards the escalating costs of the refuge.

Accion del Sol is open

Live Arico News

Wigan Pier works wonders WHAT a fantastic afternoon we had at the Original Wigan Pier last Saturday, where we raised the outstanding sum of 1,006.94 euros.

The artists who gave their time on the day had everyone singing along, thanks to Suzy Q, Seamus, Debbie Diamond, Chrissy Dee, Nicky Paul, Billie & Roy, Ryan East, Alfie, Steve Delsey, Paul Monroe, Tommy Latino, Cara as Blondie, Johnny Durango and Derrick Lynes, from the Lions Club, who took over proceedings when Sue went to work.

We had some great prizes donated by Healing Ways, the Wigan Pier, The Palms Chippy Las Americas, Trip Providers Excursions of San Eugenio, Stuart Smith Cleaning, European Health Centre Las Americas, Mrs Dolittle Beauty for Cuties, Bad Bobs on The Patch, Brewers Droop on the Patch and many more customers of the bar and the charity shop, who turned up on the day with goodies galore.

Mary did a fine job on the Tombola, and Gill Gwyn sold the raffle like a trooper, Kel sold the jewellery, Claire Makaronas walked around with a 10ft snake on her neck

... and the staff all got a soaking in a bucket challenge.

Thank you so much to the Wigan Pier, and everyone who supported the event. We all had a super day, and one to remember.

Dog of the week Boo the Doberman was in a terrible state when we found him abandoned. He had mange so bad that there was barely any hair left on his body, his skin cracked, dry and bleeding.

Thanks to a fantastic foster home, he is now

good to go, and look at the difference. If you can give him a chance of happiness, call Sue on 629 388 102.

We have a selection of rescue dogs needing homes, so if you will consider adopting one of our dogs, we will give you a friend for life.

San Francisco refuge Our friends at San Fran are trying to raise funds to build quarantine kennels at their refuge and have asked us to help put on a benefit afternoon.

So here we go today (Friday) from 2pm to 6pm, at

Coral Mar Square, Costa del Silencio.

There’s live entertainment from Suzy q, Reis Hinchey, the Memphis Belles, Alfie, Cara as Blondie, Harley Fox, Debbie Diamond, Aidy Evans, Gordon Slayney, Colin Gibb, and more.

There’s the usual Tombola and Raffle, and, most importantly, lots of fun and good company.

Come on down and support your scene.

Live Arico Shop news All is going well at our new charity shop on the Golf, and remember that our vet Cesar Bertoldi is with us every Wednesday morning from 10am to noon, offering advice on all aspects of your pet’s healthcare. Come and have a chat with him.

We are situated at Golf Park, which is on the loop road round, before the lottery kiosk. We are open 10am-4pm, Monday to Saturday.

We also have shops in Los Cristianos, Calle Revron, near Churchills Bar, and San Eugenio opposite Hotel La Nina

by Amandas bar at las Carabelas complex. Both shops open from 10am4pm, Monday to Friday, and until 3pm Saturdays and Sundays.

throughout the summer, so please visit us. There is always a dog waiting for some TLC. Please call 922 778 630, from 8am-5pm, for more information about adoptions, or if you would like to help out in any way.

Maybe you have some spare time and would like to walk one or

two of our many dogs, which would be much appreciated by our inmates.

We are always in need of blankets, towels, dog leads, collars and puppy milk, if you have any to spare.

Opening hours We are open to the public on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays between 2-5pm, and on Saturdays from 1-4pm. The refuge is closed Wednesdays, Sundays and on Public Holidays.

Where to find us The refuge is situated at Granadilla’s Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER, the ecological park which houses the windmills.

Paula’s fund-raiser

RUMOURS Bar in Los Cristianos is holding a charity event tomorrow (Saturday) to raise money for Paula, a resident who has suffered a severe, disabling stroke at the age of 50.

Funds will go towards any equipment she may need. Tickets are 10 euros and includes a hotfood buffet, plus live entertainment from Luke Carey at 8pm, Memphis Belles at 9pm and Buddy, from 10-10.30pm.

There are loads of raffle prizes, plus a prize draw with the ticket. Have a fun adult night out to raise money for Paula.

CW 44

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Lifestyle

By Val Sainsbury THEY have long been associated with upset stomachs, but tummy bugs could also be bad for the mind.

Scientists say the roots of depression may lie in the gut, and the trillions of bacteria that live there.

Although you might not realise it, the average human stomach is home to around 2lb of microbes - roughly the same weight as a bag of sugar.

Some members of this “gut microbiome” help with digestion. But others are increasingly being linked to overall health, with conditions from autism to multiple sclerosis said to have links to the bugs in our bodies.

Now, a series of animal experiments suggests that intestinal bugs play an important role in triggering depression.

31st July - 6th August 2015

Tummy bugs? They may harm your mind as well

Canadian researchers showed that if newborn mice are subjected to the stress of being repeatedly separated and reunited with their mothers, they appear anxious and depressed.

However, if their guts are germ-free, the stress does not affect their mental health.

But give them a transplant of bugs and depression strikes.

It is thought that severe stress, particularly in childhood, affects the chemistry of the stomach, allowing some bugs to thrive more than others.

These then produce compounds that affect the chemistry of the brain, leading to symptoms of depression.

Researcher Premysl Bercik said: “We have shown for the first time … that bacteria play a crucial role in inducing this abnormal behaviour.

“But it’s not only bacteria. It’s the altered bi-directional communication between the stressed host - mice

subjected to early-life stress - and its microbiota, that leads to anxiety and depression.’

Writing in the Nature Communications journal, Dr Bercik said small changes in the balance of the bugs in the gut could have “profound” effects on behaviour.

He added it will be important to find out of if people with depression have a different balance of bugs in their gut than others.

Previous studies have linked the gut microbiome to a host of conditions, including autism, multiple sclerosis and bowel cancer.

A leading British researcher recently blamed junk food for killing vital bacteria that help us stay thin.

Professor Tim Spector, of King’s College London, made the claim after putting his son Tom on a diet of McDonald’s food for 10 days and looking at the effect on the bacteria in this gut.

The professor said:

‘Tom’s gut microbes had been devastated 1,400 different species, accounting for 40% of his gut diversity - had been lost.

“Microbes are not only essential to how we digest food; they control the calories we absorb and provide vital enzymes and vitamins. It is clear that the more diverse your diet, the more diverse your microbes and the better your health at any age.”

The widespread use of antibiotics may also be taking its toll on the bugs that live in our gut.

In future, some conditions might be treated by giving patients probiotic drinks, or supplements that boost the numbers of the ‘right’ bugs.

Another, less appetising option is a transplant of bacteria, harvested from the faeces of someone with a very healthy gut.

Glenn Taylor, founder of the Taymount Clinic, in Hertfordshire, which

performs procedures such as faecal transplants, said: ‘The world is sitting up and noting the power of the microbiome.

“Those of us involved in this field of research have known for a long time that by normal-

ising gut flora (bacteria), many patients are reporting beneficial changes in accompanying conditions. “And, as the demand grows, we can see in the not-toodistant future, faecal donation being as normal as blood donation.”

NUDE, NOT NAKED

By Carl Pattison

IF there is one colour in the fashion stakes that seems to flatter nearly all skin tones and hair colours, it has to be NUDE!

No, I’m not suggesting that you walk around

bearing all! Nude-coloured clothing is one fashion statement that never seems to fade away.

It can be teamed up with various colours to accessorise. Black looks amazing, as does white. But stay away from stronger colours because they can make these look a bit insipid.

If you really want to go the whole way, nothing looks better than topto-toe nude because it just seems to blend with nearly all skin tones.

It is flattering, and gives a great feel to any outfit. If you try to shop - not just for the seasons but for all-year-round then nude is a great colour to buy to carry you from summer to winter.

That’s because you can tone it down with darker shoes or bag, and brighten it up in the

summer with lighter ones.

Gold and silver work really well with this, so you can really turn that simple dress into an evening outfit by adding some bling or metallic tones to it.

You can’t go wrong with these colours because they are always available on the High

Street, no matter what the season.

As long as you go for the right-shaped dress/ trouser, et, these colours will be a classic in your wardrobe. Even your winter browns can be teamed up to create a classic look.

So don’t be afraid to try on a basic dress, and team it up with more extravagant items.

This is a great look for nights out, or for when the party season arrives. And if you are going to wear this for work, make sure it’s not too transparent, or you will look naked.

It is the colour that gives the illusion of nude and not you, literally.

One last word. If you are searching out this colour, don’t be fooled into buying pale pink because this doesn’t blend as well as nude when picking out matching items.

And try to buy your accessories at the same time to match the tone perfectly.

After all, clashing nudes never work!

www.canarianweekly.com 31st July - 6th August 2015

Advertisement

45 CW

CW 46

www.canarianweekly.com

Fitness

31st July - 6th August 2015

The ‘wonder machine’ fraud

By Nico Gil

of Activate Sports Club I LOSE count of the number of times I hear comments from people regarding a supposedly “miraculous” machine, piece of gym equipment or some other bizarre device they have bought to use at home.

Sometimes, they will have been attracted after seeing the product on TV, or in a supermarket leaflet pushed through the letterbox, or, from one of the thousands of internet websites dedicated to this type of thing.

Honestly, the only “miraculous” part about all this to me is the fact that there are still so many intelligent people falling for all these lies and false promises. And the worst part is that while some companies are making a fortune

from sales, not only will these machines not help you but they will also, most probably, lead to an injury of some sort.

Most of us have seen these wonder machines advertised, for an incredible 39.95 euros, with loads of add-ons and extra gadgets that claim to be the answer to all your problems, offering you the chance to work your arms, legs, abs and back in one easy-to-store machine.

Forget them. Please.

Their only achievement will probably be to damage your arms, legs, abs and back.

Doctors’ clinics, hospitals and insurance companies are receiving more enquiries than ever about injuries caused by these pieces of equipment. The most common complaints include: *Sprained or dislocated wrists

*Muscle strains *Sprained or broken ankles *Fractured arms or legs *Tendinitis There are several reasons why these machines are a bad idea.

Firstly, most people don’t know how to use them correctly. The typical “ab rocker” contraptions that have you lying on the floor rocking backwards and forwards in the quest for a six-pack are often guilty of causing serious - and long term - back injuries. Why? Because the huge majority of people

don’t know how to do a sit-up correctly. What they do instead is yank their neck forwards and pull their back, instead of using abdominal control. This only leads to back and neck problems - never to a six-pack.

There’s a reason why people like me study and work very hard to become professional trainers: with the overwhelming majority of exercises, how you do them is more important than what you do. Doing exercises incorrectly not only means you’re working the wrong muscle groups, it also leads to injuries - sometimes very serious ones.

Other health problems related to the use of home gym equipment come when people have been inactive for months (even years), buy a “bargain” treadmill, don’t know how to use it and then work out

far too hard, too quickly, without warming up, stretching or anything similar.

Or they use the machines with a bad posture and then try to finish themselves off lifting ridiculously heavy weights in the incorrect position.

Personal trainers keep a close eye on technique, correcting you in each movement and greatly reducing the risk of injury. But even going along to a normal gym will mean you can enlist a monitor’s help to show you exactly how to use each machine correctly.

There’s also the added bonus of other factors: motivation from other members in a class or your trainer, and the social aspect. All of these factors play a key role in keeping your enthusiasm high and your commitment going, compared with how

easy it is at home to just throw the machine in the garage (with the other three you bought last year and used once) and give up.

I may repeat myself at times, but I can’t stress enough how important it is to find the right exercises just for you; taking into account all your personal information (age, weight, condition, health problems, emotional stress, etc).

Wanting to become fitter and healthier is fantastic, but killing yourself (literally) on a treadmill in your garden won’t achieve this.

Diet, reducing stress, meditation and exercise all work together if you want to achieve the best, long-lasting results.

So do yourselves a favour: the next time you see an advert on TV for one of these machines, switch the channel!

Find us @ Calle Roques del Salmor, 38679 Costa Adeje, Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Tel: 822 070 037

www.canarianweekly.com

Puzzle Page

31st July - 6th August 2015

PRIZE Godoku!

WIN! Tickets for bowling at Megabowl The rules of Godoku are simple just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid.

When you have completed it, a word will appear.

Email the answer to info@canarianweekly.com before 5pm on Wednesday 5th August 2015 and you’ll be in with a chance of winning.

47 CW

Caption Competition CW Crossword WIN! 2 tickets to see The Sound of Musicals

Email your caption to info@canarianweekly.com before Wednesday 5th August 2015.

Last Week’s winner (Issue 912): Josie Bunch Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 4th September 2015 to pick up and use your vouchers.

This week’s letters: A D E H I K N R T This week’s mystery clue: There is dancing here in the 3rd Random Heroes Collection novel by Dee Davis (9 letters).

D I

E D H N R T E K N I H N

T H D A

R K D

T A R I A Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

2 6 4 7

Winning Caption: “And you thought you would keep me quiet!”

Winner: Donna Sachs

Please come up to the OasisFm / Canarian Weekly offices to pick up your prize. You have until 4th September 2015 to pick up and use your vouchers.

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

Beginner Starter Number

4 5 2 1 4

3 9 2 3 8 2

6

1 5 6 3 7 9 6 4

1

2

3

32

of this

3/4

-15

x8

6

7

8

9

-13

squared

4

+42

÷6

by Trevor Kirton

Arithmagons The number in each square is equal to the sum of the numbers in the circles on either side.

Fill in the missing numbers

Intermediate Starter Number

14

1

2

x6 +161

6

7

-133

of this

6/7

3

3/5

of this

4

-126

x8

Answer

9

8

5

+198 ÷3

Last Issue's Answers:

CW Crossword

Advanced Starter Number

91 6

-391

1

2

÷7

-8

7

8

5/6

of this

3

4

x76 -291

+191

9

3/4

5

x5

Answer

of this

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

1 9 8

3 5

2 6

8 1 7 3

4 2 3 6

8 4 2 1

3 9 1

4 7 1 9

6 8 2

1 9 7

2 9 7 6

Arithmagons:

DOWN. 1 CLUTCHING, 2 THIRTY-TWO, 3 AMEN, 4 STRUNG, 6 SEE, 7 EGG ON, 10 VEILED, 13 EVAPORATE, 14 TORTOISES, 15 INDEED, 18 SELDOM, 20 LICIT, 22 FLED, 24 LID.

Brain Training:

Beginner: 17 Intermediate: 156 Advanced: 61 Godoku:

Sudoku X:

9 6 4 2 8 1 5 3 7

8 2 7 9 5 3 6 4 1

5 1 3 6 4 7 8 9 2

6 8 9 4 2 5 7 1 3

3 7 5 1 6 9 2 8 4

2 4 1 3 7 8 9 5 6

7 5 2 8 3 4 1 6 9

1 3 8 7 9 6 4 2 5

Sudoku:

9 3 7 6

5 7

6 4 9 3 1

ACROSS. 1 CAT-NAPS, 5 ASKED, 8 UNITE, 9 REVENGE, 11 CITE, 12 INCIDENT, 16 INTEND, 17 REPAIR, 19 GLOWERED, 21 DOJO, 23 SCOLDED, 25 LOANS, 26 STUDY, 27 MADNESS.

4 9 6 5 1 2 3 7 8

3 1 4 6

8 6 3

DOWN 1 Guided (3) 2 Surrenders (7) 3 Planet (5) 4 Fernando -, F1 driver (6) 6 Syrup tree (5) 7 African insect (6,3) 8 Collar stiffener (6) 11 Shocking (9) 14 Mistakes (6) 16 Stands down (7) 17 Brie, for instance (6) 19 Stop-watch (5) 21 Valuable resource (5) 24 Male offspring (3)

Answer

÷7

+41

5

ACROSS 1 US gambling city (3,5) 5 Indecent talk (4) 9 Forbid entry (5) 10 Eight-fold (7) 11 Insults (7) 12 Smells foul (5) 13 Respond (6) 15 Omar -, actor (6) 18 Teacher (5) 20 Rumour, gossip (7) 22 Dip in water (7) 23 Heroic tales (5) 25 Bloody, gruesome (4) 26 Throw overboard (8)

2

6 3 7 9 5 8 2 1 4

3 9 7 2 1 4 6 5 8

5 2 9 1 4 3 7 8 6

2 8 1 6 7 5 4 3 9

4 8 1 7 2 6 9 5 3

5 6 4 9 8 3 7 1 2

2 1 6 4 9 7 8 3 5

1 3 5 4 9 6 8 2 7

3 9 5 6 8 2 4 7 1

8 2 6 3 5 7 9 4 1

8 7 4 5 3 1 6 2 9

7 4 9 1 2 8 3 6 5

7 5 2 3 6 4 1 9 8

6 5 2 8 4 9 1 7 3

1 6 3 8 7 9 5 4 2

9 1 3 7 6 2 5 8 4

9 4 8 2 1 5 3 6 7

4 7 8 5 3 1 2 9 6

CW 48

www.canarianweekly.com

Information / Free Ads

How to Advertise: Page 48

PHONE 902 232 102 / FAX 902 232 102 / Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Or just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop). Upto 500 euros only.

Page 49

Page 49 Lineage 0.50c per word FREE: 1 telephone number Basic box advert Classic box advert

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

20 euros per week (30 words maximum) double size box

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

25 euros per week (30 words maximum) Classic DBLE box

Advertise Advertise your your property property or or classified classified advert here. advert here.

40 euros 35 euros per week per week (60 words (60 words maximum) maximum)

31st July - 6th August 2015

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco.gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112 National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06

Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Lineage 35 euros for 4 weeks 1 module box advert

Advertise your service advert here. 80 euros for 4 weeks* advertising (20 euros per week) Please ask us for prices for larger size adverts.

All property, classified and service point have to be paid for in cash at our officces in Las Chafiras. *Service point adverts have to be in for a minimum of 4 weeks.

Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11

Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 761 201 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802

Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037 TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

40 euros. Tel: 676 149 540

Discounts available for more than one edition.

N.B. there is a 50% premium for a property/Business for sale classified adverts.

Page 49

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care.

Green - Safe to swim

Lightning McQueen toddler bed with mattrress and storage draw, 175 euros. Events management level 3 course from www. openstudycollege.com, 300 euros including name change. 2 x XL mens, left hand golf gloves, 10 euros each. Timberland jumper, XL, 10 euros.

Tel: 637 206 026 Washing machine front-loader in perfect working order complete with user manual and instructions, 50 euros. White aluminium shower curtain rail 80cm x 80cm shower tray by Interbath. Complete with all fittings in original packaging, Opened but never used as wrong size, 10 euros. Silencio, Tel: 663 422 184

Deadline: Tuesday 4pm

250 English paperback books, in good condition,

Rocking chair polished wood and leather, 15 euros. Recliner armchair in tan leatherlook, 30 euros. Full set of golf clubs Maxffi tour graphite shafts Ping putter 4 woods all good grips plus Ping carry-bag, inc balls T-pegs, the lot 40 euros. Silencio.

Tel: 676 264 494 Pair of curtains, suit patio doors, each curtain measures with gathering length 194 cm x 350 width ( when gathered 200cm) pale-blue one side, self-lined white other side. 30 euros.

Lexmark printer/scanner, needs refills for printer, inc instruction book, 20 euros. Pair of speakers, ideal for computer, 8 euros. White-painted tall bamboo cane unit with 3 drawers, shelf & glass doors at top, Adults Red back carrier for child with storage pockets, 15 euros. Baby frontcarrier navy-blue, 5 euros. Large picture in wood & paper wall fan, lovely view of mountains, 10 euros. Elec desk top fan, 20 euros. Centre of Los Cristianos .

Tel: 922 794 790 or 642 019 303.

www.canarianweekly.com Jobs (cont.)

Property for renT (cont.)

A full time Cook/Chef wanted for a busy bar restaurant in Torviscas. For more information please call 609 417 262

Cars/BIKES

49 CW

Free Ads / Classified

31st July - 6th August 2015

IT Position available for busy well established office in Los Cristianos. Duties include general office maintenance of PC’s and Networks, online skills an advantage. Monday – Friday 10:00 – 17:00 with weekly pay. Successful applicant must be able to work under own initiative and have own transport. Please only apply if you have NIE, Social Security & Spanish Bank Account as this is a fully legal position. Please send CV’s to employment@smithhunter.com to arrange interview.

B Funky fashion shows are looking for International girls to model swimwear in the South of Tenerife for an immediate start. Must be presentable and speak good English, other languages an advantage. Sales or PR experience essential. Daily work, salary, commissions paid and contracts given. Call José between 11am & 5pm on 606 181 946

PROPERTY FOR RENT: Lovely comfortable room for rent, centre Los Cristianos. 3rd person required to share owner’s large apartment, use of sep. kitchen/diner, 2 bathrooms, pool. Long or short term, TV, bedding supplied. 85€ wk or 330€ x 4 wks. Tel: 922 794 790 Property for Sale

FOR SALE: Fabulous 2-bed, 2-bath penthouse *Large lounge, unique kitchen. *Great views looking down to the sea... and watch the planes land silently. *Two super pools, and one for toddlers, with beautiful surroundings, on Las Chafiras complex. *Secure underground car park. *Lift takes you down to exit, car park and swimming pools from front door. *Six mins from airport, Los Cristianos and Las Americas

£89,000 (126,000 euros).

Phone 922 737 048 (evenings, or leave message) or 0044 7793 627 954

Property for renT

Tel 922 797 438 Mobile: 693 713 686

info@tenerifeislandrentals.com

Fañabe Village 650€

Duque 1, 3 bed 2 bath apartment with spacious lounge, fitted kitchen, garage parking space, trastero and has a separate roof terrace.

www.tenerifeislandrentals.com

Los Cristianos – 550€

Castle Harbour, studio apartment in a popular complex, fitted kitchen, within walking distance to all amenities, pool and pool bar on complex.

IN HOUSE MaintenanceVERS EO TEAM FOR ALL JOBS/MAK

Torviscas – 630€

Balcon Atlantico, 1 bed apartment with fully fitted kitchen, double size bedroom, large south facing terrace with sea views, off street parking.

Chayofa – 1200€

Las Vistas, 3 bed 3 bath townhouse, terraces to front and rear of the property, large kitchen and lounge area, enclosed double garage, plenty of storage.

Local 1, Edif Sur Y Sol, Av Londres, Los Cristianos

C1672.

SAN MIGUEL. Old house with a wine cellar in the village of San Miguel.

105.000 Euros

B1559. PARQUE SANTIAGO I, PLAYA DE LAS AMERICAS.

1 bed duplex apartment by the seaside.

Communal pool.

179.000 Euros

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Jobs Robot Hair And Beauty now require a full time beautician and or nail technician for imediate start in busy salon..full clientel awaiting the right applicant on a self employed basis...call Carl on 922789058 in confidence.

D1529.

LAS LOMAS, CHAYOFA.

Very attractive town house; 3 bedrooms, large lounge, fully fitted kitchen, 2 bathrooms, 2 terraces, large garage.

235.000 Euros

D1530. OCEAN PARK, SAN EUGENIO.

Spacious penthouse apt with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully fitted kitchen, lounge, terrace, roof terrace and garage.

325.000 Euros.

www.thepropertygallery.com

CW 50

www.canarianweekly.com

Classified / Service Point

31st July - 6th August 2015

Chiropodist

Electrician

Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel.

Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA. Based in Los Cristianos.

I offer perosnal visits to the South of Tenerife. Tel: 608 029 790.

Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com

Air-conditioning

Cleaning All ELECTRICAL WORK CARRIED OUT. Fully qualified, 25 years experience. Reliable, Clean, conscientious worker. Very competitive rates. Specializing in fault finding. For expert advice/ free estimates Phone Danny, Los Cristianos 822 901 384.

Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Garden Furniture

Computers

Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

Construction

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 www.yogavibetenerife.com

Home removal

Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Blinds

Cars Marble flooring

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

31st July - 6th August 2015

Mechanics

Personal ServiceS

51 CW

security

Sissy, Los Cristianos. Slim, sexy, domination, good looking, Private Apartment, Call: 634 273 126

Pest control

Plumbing

Tiling Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

Pool tables

Patio Doors & Windows Translation

Property services

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more.

Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

TV and Satellite Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

Second-hand Shops

House, Apartment & Villa Clearances Everything bought for Cash Immediate Decisions

Call Freddie on 609 303 634 Long & Short Term Storage also available.

repairs

Windows

CW 52

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

By Roscoe YOUNG goalie Carlos Abad has had a week to remember. He finally put pen to paper on his first senior contract, a three-year deal that ties him to Tenerife.

And 24 hours later, he joined Real Madrid! Well, their B team Castilla.

Real have been sniffing around him since Christmas and this deal works for everyone.

He is a real prospect and could go all the way.

But he was never going to be first-choice at Tenerife with Dani the main gloveman. Carlos was not keen on spending a season on the bench, but still wanted to stay at Tenerife. The three-year contract gives the club a safety net.

They didn’t want a repeat of the Ayoze Perez

31st July - 6th August 2015

Keeper joins Real Madrid

deal, that saw Newcastle steal him for just 1.5million euros. The Real deal sees him moving to Castilla as first-choice for the season. Real then have an option to extend the deal for another season.

They can also purchase him outright at any stage for an undisclosed fee. So Carlos gets some crucial playing time, trains with the Real coaches - and is working under the eye of manager Zinedine Zidane! It could be argued that Tenerife might have asked for a player in return, maybe, but Real rarely loan their players to teams in Spain.

They normally go overseas, or stick around the B team so they can fill in on Cup duty, dead European ties and friendly matches.

There have been no additions, despite Ten-

erife being linked with a plethora of players. They still need a left-back, another midfielder and a striker.

Manager Raul Agne said this week “We will not sign players just to satisfy the fans. Any new players will be joining us to make us stronger.”

One player who is not coming to Santa Cruz is Airam Cabrera. He is available on a free from Cadiz, but it seems that Agne is not keen on the local-born striker.

Quique Rivero is on his way. The central midfielder is in talks to join Cartagena.

On the pitch, Tenerife drew 1-1 with La Liga’s Sporting Gijon at the Heliodoro and beat Ibarra 2-1 in El Fraile.

Tomorrow, Saturday, Las Palmas visit Santa Cruz. Kick-off is 9pm.

Gaffers scoop Supercopa THE new Direct Telecom Pool League season got underway with the traditional curtainraiser at Palms Bar in Torviscas last Tuesday.

League and Cup winners Gaffers A faced arch-rivals Tenerife Hammers A in an amazing contest, which went all the way to a deciding frame.

There was no early season rust to shake off as both sides hit the ground running with some fine pool.

The match started with a clash of the captains as Neil beat Paul to give Gaffers an early lead. New signing Penguin (who has either put on a few pounds, or needs to get a larger shirt) swiftly levelled the match for Hammers, only for Lee to give the lead back to

Gaffers, and Fritzel to beat Top Six Dave to square the match again.

It set the tone for the contest, as neither side let the other get away.

Neil took frame five from another Ham-

mers’ debutant, Craig, who has moved from the now-defunct Peacocks side.

Paul and Wez won vital frames for Hammers, while Top Six Dave chinned Fritzel to make it 4-4.

The captains both won again and, at 5-5, it was anyone’s match.

With the gorgeous Supercopa trophy up for grabs, it looked as though Hammers were about to go in front at a crucial moment.

Kev was not having the best of nights for Gaffers, but he looked a good favourite as he got down to the last red.

A straight-looking pot in the middle bag somehow stayed up, despite hitting both knuckles.

It was a stroke of luck for Penguin, who calmly slotted home his last three colours. This left a regulation black to go 6-5 up.

The black was duly potted, but the white ball took a strange kiss off Kev’s red ball and, agonisingly, dropped into the middle pocket. It’s amazing how quickly the Pool Gods can give you good luck then bad.

The 12th frame saw Top Six Dave and Craig going pot for pot. TSD looked the favourite at one stage, but a poor shot gave Craig a chance. He coolly potted ball 6 with a sweet double and followed that with

a tough roll in to set up the black.

The snooker was on, but Craig was full of beans and went for the cross-double. He hit it sweet as a nut! The Hammers erupted and we were on for suddendeath.

We finished as we started, with Paul and Neil doing battle in what was another fine frame, full of quality defensive play. Neil had to work hard after Paul made the early running, but it was only a matter of time before Paul went for it.

He took his chance, got down to the black and, with the Supercopa at his mercy, missed an easy-looking black!

He couldn’t believe it!

Hammers couldn’t believe it! Gaffers couldn’t believe it!

Neil needed no second invitation as he cleaned up to scoop the frame, the match and lay down an early marker!

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31st July - 6th August 2015

53 CW

Joyful Jackie’s jackpot!

AFTER enjoying the World Matchplay darts from Blackpool during the past week, at least one player garnered maximum inspiration from the Winter Gardens’ action!

And although Winter is not how you would describe Tenerife at the moment, that didn’t stop Jackie, from Palms Pool Bar, as she coolly slotted home her first 180 of the season. Sadly for her, though, her team mustered just two points in a defeat at Exiles.

With Phoenix Bar taking their turn to get the deckchairs out, and Ray hitting his first 180, a 6-2 victory at Pas O Nadas A

meant that Boothen Army reclaimed top spot in Division 1.

Tom, of Bar 180 A, also put three into the lipstick as his side put six past Gaffers, and Hoppys Bar had Bryn on the maximum trail during their 7-1 win over Palms Sports Bar. An in-house derby in Emerald Lounge ended with a 6-2 success for the Shamrocks, Boothen Titans took the trebles leg to scrape past Waterfall Warriors and the Playboys made light work of bottom side Bar 180 B. Phoenix Flights still hold a 100% record in Division 2, although they were pushed all the way by Naughty Nautas, who slipped up in the last rubber as the leaders took the 5-3 win.

Second-place Spear Chuckers lost a mid-

division 1 ResultS

division 2 ResultS

Bar 180 B Boothen Titans Emerald Lounge Exiles Bar Gaffers Hoppys Bar Pas O Nadas A

1-7 Ourplace Playboys 5-3 Waterfall Warriors 2-6 Emerald Shamrocks 6-2 Palms Pool Bar 2-6 Bar 180 A 7-1 Palms Sports Bar 2-6 Boothen bar

Clouseaus Ourplace Playgirls Phoenix Flights Sandys Chippers Spear Chuckers Summerlands Waterfall B

6-2 2-6 5-3 5-3 8-0 7-1 1-7

Pas O Nadas B Picassos Naughty Nautas Bar Leones Marilyns Mad Hunters Sundowners

division 2 Table

division 1 Table Table

P W D L F A +- PTS

Table

P W D L F A +- PTS

1 Boothen Army

9

56

1 Phoenix Flights

9

9

0

0 54

18

36

54

55

2 Spear Chuckers

9

4

3

2 45

27

18

45

6

1

1 41

23

18

41

8 7

0

3 The Phoenix

7 7 0 0 51 5 46 51

3 Shandys Chippers 8

4 Hoppys Bar

8

4 Summerlands

8 4 2 2 39 25 14 39

5 Emerald Shamrocks 9 6 1 2 42 30 12 42

5 Picassos

8 5 2 1 37 27 10 37

6 Boothen Titans

9 6 0 3 41 31 10 41

6 Sundowners

9

4

2

3 37

35

2

37

7 Exiles Bar

9

4

1

4 36

36

0

36

7 Bar Leones

9

3

1

5 34

38

-4

34

8 Gaffers

8

3

2

3 33

31

2

33

8 Mad Hunters

9

4

1

4 34

38

-4

34

9 Waterfall Warriors 8 3 0 5 28 36 -8 28

9 Marylins

9

4

1

4 34

38

-4

34

10 Ourplace Playboys 7

3

0 4 25 31 -6

25

10 Clouseaus

8

4

2

2 33

31

2

33

11 Emerald Lounge 9

1

1

7 25

47 -22

25

11 Naughty Nautas 7

3

0

4 30

26

4

30

12 Palms Sports Bar 9

2

0

7 19

53 -34

19

12 Gaffers Jucee Girls 8 1 2 5 25 39 -14 25

1 47

9

40

8

1

0 55

16

2 Bar 180 A

6

1

1 56

17

46 30

47

13 Palms Pool Bar

8

2

0

6 17

47 -30

17

13 Ourplace Playgirls 7 2 0 5 20 36 -16 20

14 Pas O Nadas A

8

0

0

8 11

53 -42

11

14 Pas O Nadas B

8

0

1

7 19

45 -26

19

15 Bar 180 B

8

0

1

7 10

54 -44

10

15 Waterfall B

8

0

0

8 14

50 -36

14

week, catch-up match at Picassos, but they put that right in emphatic style on Friday, hammering Marilyns 8-0, with a maximum from Rob. Sandys Chippers’ close win over Bar Leones keeps them in third place, while Summerlands continue to bounce up and down the table after cruising to a 7-1 victory over Mad Hunters. Sundowners climbed up a

few places as they also notched seven points from their match at Waterfall B. Star player for Clouseaus last week was Ed, who fired in his first maximum for the Palm Mar outfit during a comfortable win at home against Pas O Nadas B. Elsewhere, Picassos’ six-point haul from their match at Ourplace Playgirls, sees them sitting nicely in fifth spot.

Fantasy Football is back!

THE waiting is nearly over and now it’s time to get serious. All over the Island, Fantasy Football managers are watching the latest transfer developments.

In their heads, they are focusing on which

players they want for their all-conquering squad.

The Oasis Fm Fantasy League returns with a bang and this year there are some exciting twists. Changes to the new campaign include a triple-point captain, an all-new 2/5/3 formation option plus a bonus week when your bench will score points as well!

As always, it’s free to enter. All you need is 10 minutes to register and pick your squad! It’s that simple.

Well, until your players turn into donkeys or sicknote Andertons!

To register, simply go to fantasy.premierleague.com where you will be asked some basic details. Once your name is chosen and squad picked, go to the

enter leagues option.

You will be then asked to enter a code. The Oasis Fm League code is 313966-83519 Remember, you can make as many changes to your squad as you like until the opening day of the season.

So dust down your tracksuit, cut up some oranges and show us your managerial skill!

CW 54

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Sport

By Adi Benson THE Premier League is not difficult to love. It’s brash, it’s noisy, it’s tasteless and it doesn’t care if you think it’s brash, noisy or tasteless because it’s far too busy signing ludicrous television deals with one hand, while patting itself on the back with the other.

This is the biggest and best league in the world, even if it does say so itself.

While the world’s best players are mostly to be found in Spain these days, glitteringlyexpensive weapons in the great BarcelonaReal Madrid arms race, the Premier League’s claim to supremacy rests on two pillars.

The first is the proud boast that anybody can beat anybody, a truism that does tend to gloss over the fact that more often than not, the big boys do give the little ones a good kicking.

And second, on the notion that there is a kind of peculiar and alluring chaos to the Premier League and to English football, a to-and-fro that isn’t always pretty or tactically refined but is frequently and, much more importantly, great fun and a delight to watch.

So what does the 2015/16 season hold for us all? Will Chelsea retain their crown, will Arsenal actually put up a challenge rather than just waiting until after Christmas to win games, could Man Utd climb back to top spot, or will Man City win as they seem to like winning one, then losing one, then winning one and so on?

A r s e n a l : P e r e n n i a l u n d e r achievers, but they have back-to-back

31st July - 6th August 2015

Brash, flash... and crash!

FA Cup wins, and we are about to find out if having a decent keeper can turn them into title challengers.

Aston Villa: They have r e c e n t l y enjoyed flirting with relegation but, with losing two big players in Delph and Benteke, is this the season they finally go down?

Bournemouth: How did they end up here?

They are like the newcomer to judo lessons, and all the big kids are about to play pile-on. But they may surprise a few teams.

C h e l s e a : Everybody hates them, if you believe Mourinho. Not much activity in the transfer window so far, and they could end up being stagnant. Oh yeah, I forgot, they don’t spend money!

Crystal Palace: It’s nice to see Yohan Cabaye back in the Premier League, but I really don’t see him turning them into anything but a midtable team, but ‘Pards’ will take that.

E v e r t o n : Will Roberto Martinez fulfil his promise to get them into the Champions League this season? I suspect he was misheard and he said Championship.

Leicester: T h e y m a n a g e d to pull off the great escape last season and will hope that experience will stand them in good stead.

Have they got enough players for Ranieri to tinker with?

Liverpool: I do hope Brenda has got some new descriptive words this season, saying they played outstanding each week worked a little thin, when they clearly didn’t!

Man City: With Aguero struggling for fitness they could make a slow start to the season, Despite signings I think they look a weaker squad.

Champions League will be a let-down again.

Man Utd: They have thrown the money around again, but it is actually quite sad, given the youth policy they used to have. The emphasis will be on Rooney for goals - let‘s hope Van Gaal took his Gregg’s loyalty card off him.

Newcastle: Nice to see Mike Ashley loosen the purse strings and make

some big signings.

Bus has anyone pointed out to Steve McClaren yet that they have no defenders, though?

Norwich: I sort of hope they struggle this season as I am sure we all want to see another Delia Smith motivational speech, or even better, she takes over as caretaker-manager.

Southampton: They have had to install a revolving door at St Mary’s with so many players going in and out in the last couple of seasons.

They will be hoping for Cherbourg in the Europa League.

Stoke: Are you Barcelona B in disguise?

Mark Hughes has bought in some good flair players, the best being Ibrahim Afellay, Stoke will be unrecognisable.

Sunderland: The Black Cats need to improve on their last two campaigns, and they have invested wisely in the transfer market. I still only like Advocaat in a Snowball though!

S w a n s e a : Can Garry Monk repeat last season’s performance and move Swansea forward? It will be a difficult task, but he knows what is required. A good start is essential.

Spurs: It has been a big cleanout at White Hart Lane with more players set to leave, but there have not been many new signings, I reckon Pochettino fancies pulling his boots back on.

Watford: I’m not looking forward to Watford goals going in when I’m back on air, they have a team of players who all have impossible-topronounce names.

West Brom: I bet Tony Pulis is the type of manager who goes into his chairmen

and says: “Just give me a tenner as a transfer kitty.”

He‘s good at getting the very best out of average players.

West Ham: I’ve saved the best till last as the Hammers are my tip for the league this season, Slaven Bilic is a genius. Bobby Baker, you owe me a beer!

All joking aside, though, it is shaping up to be a very exciting season, and if one or two teams play to their potential with the new signings they have made, it could be a real tussle towards the top of the table.

I’m not sure the top four will be any different, but the clamour for Europa League places could be really interesting.

At the bottom, again, it will be all about the mini leagues, as in teams beating their rivals around them.

It could again go right to the end of the season, but I do think the three teams who have come up are in for a real scrap.

So how do I see the outcome?

Well here is what I think the table will look like come May 2016.

Table May 2016 1 Chelsea 2. Arsenal 3. Man Utd 4. Man City 5. Liverpool 6. Swansea 7. Southampton 8. Spurs 9. Stoke 10. Newcastle 11. West Ham 12. Crystal Palace 13. Sunderland 14. Everton 15. West Brom 16. Leicester 17. Norwich 18. Watford 19. Aston Villa 20. Bournemouth

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