Cw issue 945

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Issue 945 18th March - 24th March 2016

EASTER WEEK IS UPON US

THE most important religious period of the year in Tenerife starts today (Friday of the Sorrows) with all Town Halls staging special events to mark Semana Santa (Easter Week).

Adeje has a busy liturgical programme, with a host of parallel cultural activities organised by the Council.

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Holy Week celebrations Continued from front The processions are a chance for the public to appreciate some of the town’s most sacred images, many of them artistically excellent, and many restored in the last 15 years under the Council’s Heritage and Conservation Training programme.

Adeje Culture Councillor Adolfo Alonso Ferrera said: “Adeje’s Easter Week is a very important part of the borough’s cultural calendar.

“Many of the people who live here take part in acts and events during the celebrations and, above all, those participating in the live representation of The Passion.

“There are also group activities which, year after year, see distinct groups and collectives taking part in liturgical events, among them the

FRIDAY March 18th FRIDAY OF SORROWS Parish of La Milagrosa (Tijoco – La Hoya) 17.30. Meditation of the Sorrows 18.00.Celebration of the Eucharist followed by the procession of Our Lady of the Sorrows. Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje).

18:30. Holy Rosary.

19:00. Celebration of the Eucharist followed by the procession of Our Lady of Piety. Parish of San José (Los Olivos) 20:00 Concert-Oration “El Transito de San José” (The transit of St Joseph) according to the Coptic gospel. Concert by the Burdeos quarter. Parish of Ntra. Sra. del Campo (Fañabé) 21:00. Celebration of the Eucharist followed by the procession of Our Lady of the Sorrows.

SATURDAY March 19th PALM SATURDAY Parish

Hermandad del Santísimo, the Porteadores de la Virgen and the Mujeres Adejeras con la Virgen.

“We also have the municipal band and groups from the borough’s school of dance and music, alongside neighbourhood associations and other groups.”

The Culture Councillor added: “While the Council respects the needs of many Adeje citizens, we know that not everyone celebrates this particular festival.

“We will work to avoid too many changes or hold-ups on public streets, traffic diversions, etc. We will also have a special security detail in place, made up of the Local Police and the Civil Protection Brigade throughout the Easter events.”

The most important events during the cel-

ebrations take place on Monday, Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

It starts from La Viña hermitage in La Postura, with people carrying impressive images of the Captured Christ and Our Lady of Hope, carved in cedar.

Councillor Adolfo Alonso Ferrera said: “We are extremely grateful for the involvement of the Piedra Redonda

Residents’ Association, as well as the rest of the population who live close by - and all those who have been involved in the organisation of this Easter Week event.”

Maundy Thursday will see the Mandato procession in the Calle Grande, considered one of the most solemn acts in the Easter schedule.

It will be attended by all the local authorities, including the Mayor,

Councillors, members of the security forces and representatives of the borough’s associations and other groups.

During the procession, a representation of the Crucified Christ by the 18th Century Canarian school, attributed to Alonso de Raya, and the carvings of the Last Supper and the Virgin of Hope, will be carried through the main street.

Easter events in Adeje

and confession Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 18:00 Celebration of the Eucharist Chapel of Ntra.

Sra. de la Esperanza (La Viña) 20:00. Celebration of the Eucharist.

21:00. Procession of Jesus Captive and Our Lady of Hope.

of the Holy Oils.

20:00–22:00. Confession

of San José (Los Olivos) 09:00 Solemn Lauds in honour of St Joseph 12:00 Mass followed by the procession with the venerated image of St Joseph 19:00 – 21:00 Confession Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 17:00. Celebration of the Eucharist.

21:00 Stations of the Cross with Christ of the Good Death, from Cruz del Llano to the Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir.

SUNDAY March 20th.

PALM SUNDAY Parish of La Resurrección del Señor (Armeñime) 10:00. Procession of Palms and the Eucharist. Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 10:30 Procession of Palms from the Plaza de la Cruz del Llano to the Parish church. On arrival celebration of the Eucharist. Parish of La Milagrosa (Tijoco

– La Hoya) 11:00. Procession of Palms from the old Hermitage to the Parish church. On arrival celebration of the Eucharist. Church of Jesucristo Redentor (Callao Salvaje) 12:00. Celebration of the Eucharist Parish of Ntra.

Sra. del Campo (Fañabé) 12:30. Procession of Palms and the Eucharist. Church of San Sebastián (La Caleta) 18:00.Celebration of the Eucharist. Parish of San José (Los Olivos) 19:00. Blessing of the Palms and the Eucharist followed by the Procession of Jesus to pray at the Mount of Olives.

MONDAY March 21st.

Holy Monday Parish of San José (Los Olivos) 08:30 Monday communal morning prayer (Lauds) Parish of La Resurrección del Señor (Armeñime) 18:00 Stations of the cross

TUESDAY March 22nd.

Holy Tuesday Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 17:00-18:00. Confession.

18:00. Celebration of the Eucharist and the Reception of the Holy Oils. Followed by procession of the meeting of Jesus of Nazareth and the Holy Mother.

Parish of La Milagrosa (Tijoco- la Hoya) 18:00.

Stations of the Cross from Tijoco Bajo to La Hoya, followed by confessions.

Parish of San José (Los Olivos) 19:00 Celebration of the Eucharist and Reception

WEDNESDAY March 23rd HOLY WEDNESDAY Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 18.00–19:00. Confession.

19:00. Celebration of the Eucharist.

20:00. Procession of Our Lord of Humility and Patience to the Parish of Los Olivos. On arrival, penitencial procession ending with the return to the Santa Úrsula Mártir Parish church. Parish of de San José (Los Olivos) 19:00. Celebration of the Eucharist 19:30-21:30. Confession THURSDAY March 24th.

MAUNDY THURSDAY Parish of La Milagrosa (Tijoco- La Hoya) 17:00. Solemn Mass celebrating The Last Supper.

Followed by Holy Hour in front of the Altar. Parish of La Resurrección del Señor (Armeñime)

Three neighbourhoods will host processions today, on the Friday of Sorrows, specifically Tijoco-La Hoya, Fañabé and the church of Santa Úrsula in Adeje town centre Tomorrow night (Saturday), a special Way of the Cross is celebrated, from the town cemetery to the church, starting at 10pm.

And on Sunday (Palm Sunday), Armeñime’s procession begins at 10am, with the procession and blessing, followed by the parishes of Santa Úrsula and Tijoco-La Hoya at noon, and Fañabé at 12.30pm.

And, from 7pm in Los Olivos, the day’s events come to a close with one of the most heartfelt processions of the day: the Oration of Our Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane, from the Las Nieves hermitage.

17:00. Solemn Mass celebrating The Last Supper.

Followed by Holy Hour in front of the Altar . Parish of Ntra. Sra. del Campo (Fañabé) 18:00. Solemn Mass celebrating The Last Supper.

Followed by Holy Hour in front of the Altar. Parish of Santa Úrsula Mártir (Adeje) 19:00. Solemn Mass celebrating The Last Supper.

Afterwards the Holy Sacrament will be brought to the Altar where it remains and the public may come and adore and pray. Followed by the main Procession.

00:00. Holy hour in front of the Altar. Parish of de San José (Los Olivos) 19:30. Solemn Mass celebrating The Last Supper.

Followed by Holy Hour in front of the Altar. Calle Grande, Adeje 21:30 h. General rehearsal of Representation of The Passion (The Good Friday Street Theatre).

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Rajoy pays a tribute to victims of 2004 attacks MARIANO Rajoy, Acting Spanish Government President, has attended a tribute ceremony to the victims of the 2004 attacks on 11th March in Puerta del Sol, Madrid.

Afterwards, he said in a brief media statement: “Spain will continue to defend the life, rights and liberties of all its citizens, as, indeed,

it has always done.” On the 12th anniversary of the appalling commuter-train attacks. Rajoy said: “This was one of the most terrible occurrences, which had a tremendous impact on Spanish public opinion.”

He also sought to convey “the solidarity, affection and warmth of everyone to all the families of those who died, to the injured who have now recovered and to all their families.

“We should hope these

Health Ministry delay whooping-cough jabs THE Canarian Government’s Ministry of Health is delaying shortterm booster shots of the pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine to children aged six.

Instead, they will prioritise vaccination of pregnant women and children under two years as they are in the “at-risk sector”.

The MoH expects to begin vaccinating sixyear-old children, with a progressive strategy later in the year, starting with those who are older.

They believe there is no increased risk for this delay in the administration of the shots

because six-year-olds have already received four doses of vaccine, against diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis.

In the Canary Islands since February 2015, a dose of this vaccine against whooping cough has been given to pregnant women between 28-36 weeks.

In Spain, despite maintaining high vaccination coverage, whooping cough epidemic cycles are every 3-5 years, with increased incidences observed since 2010, as is happening in neighbouring countries.

This increase mainly affects children under two months who have not yet been vaccinated, or those over 15.

Cabildo’s Plan of action TENERIFE Cabildo has allocated one million euros to the Insular Open Plan Area initiative, a sum which will double in 2017 and over the next few years.

The Open Plan helps to improve the Island’s tourist areas and increases the competitiveness of small businesses.

It was presented by Cabildo President Carlos Alonso and Economic Development Councillor Efrain Medina, who promised that larger projects would

begin in 2017. The Cabildo has identified 36 areas on the Island that will benefit from the Plan, co-financed by the municipalities.

Alonso pointed to the changes of the socalled “Golden Mile” in Playa de Las Americas, where the area has had a total investment of nearly four million euros, as an example of the Plan.

Among its main objectives, Medina has detailed the search for a common identification: commercial signage, remodelling of streets and squares, an upgrade of street furniture (benches, etc), and improved accessibility and parking.

occurrences do not happen again because the most important thing we have as people are our rights,” he said.

“And it is our obligation to preserve them, to defend them - and for all political forces to stand together to defend the right to life.”

The acting Spanish President added: “Unfortunately, the fight against terrorism remains one of the main priorities, not only for our country, not only for Spain, but for all those

countries who have been hit so hard over the course of recent years.”

Rajoy also stressed: “Spain will continue to defend life, and the rights and liberties of all our citizens, both at home and abroad.”

He expressed words of gratitude to those who form part of the State law-enforcement agencies and the Spanish military “ present in many difficult locations around the world”.

And of the military, he

said its presence in Iraq, Turkey, Mali, Somalia and Lebanon serves to “defend our liberty, our security and our rights”.

For the first time since the Madrid atrocities, all the victims’ associations were in attendance, Rajoy describing it as “comforting”.

He added: “There are certain things on which it is impossible not to agree because we are talking about life, rights and liberties - the most important things we have as human beings.”

New scandal hits the Royal family JUST as Spain’s popular King Felipe VI bids to revive the scandalhit monarchy, he finds his family embroiled in another one!

A leaked phone conversation between his wife, Queen Letizia and a businessman involved in a banking scandal set Twitter ablaze last Wednesday.

The Queen, in the text conversation, pledges her support for Javier Lopez Madrid - the King’s close friend and calls him her “yoga mate”.

The iMessage conversation, revealed by online daily eldiario.es, dates back to October 2014 - and the businessman is among dozens accused of misusing bank funds for personal use.

Allegedly, the scandal saw executives and board members at Caja Madrid and Bankia the group whose nearcollapse sparked an EU bailout of Spain’s financial sector - use credit cards given out by the banks to spend some 12m euros on themselves.

According to El Diario, Letizia said in her message: “I wrote to you when the story on the credit cards came out...”

“We know who you are

and you know who we are. We know each other, like each other, respect each other. To hell with the rest. Kisses yoga mate (miss you!!!)”

Lopez then thanked her, writing: “In future, I will take extra precautions, we live in a very difficult country and I will be even more aware of my conduct.”

The King himself then joined the conversation, saying: “We do indeed!”

The King really has tried hard to clean up the royal family’s image following a corruption scandal involving his sister, which sparked the abdication of his father, Juan Carlos, in June 2014.

Last week Princess Cristina, Spain’s first royal to face criminal charges since the monarchy’s 1975 restoration, gave evidence in a landmark corruption case centred on her hus-

band’s business dealings. The case has muddied the monarchy’s reputation, becoming a symbol of perceived corruption and greed among Spain’s elites.

Spanish “netizens” have revelled in the royals’ embarrassment over the leaked conversation.

“Spain is a very difficult country,” @ElPerricano tweeted above a photo of an old lady rummaging through rubbish, juxtaposed to a shot of the royal family on a yacht.

The hashtag #CompiYogui - the term in Spanish used by Queen Letizia in her message of support and loosely translated as “yoga mate” - was the biggest trending topic on Twitter.

And many netizens jokingly used bears to illustrate their tweets in reference to cartoon character Yogi Bear.

What a water splash

JOSÉ Luis Perestelo, La Palma Cabildo Vice President and responsible for the water system there, has underlined a problem with the current system.

He revealed this week that the main northsouth channel, the principal source for the transfer of water on the island, is experiencing “significant water losses” and requires a “comprehensive study” to solve the problem.

Perestelo (pictured) said: “Right now, we are working on repairing the rupture suffered after a landslide in the area of La Galga.

“The first works have been the cleaning up, after the cliff broke off. Now we start the emergency work that involves the placement of a tube to replace the section of the demolished section.

“Then we can do a comprehensive study to avoid the substantial water losses we are suffering.”

The main pipe, a concrete canal about 80km long from its El Macho source to Fuencaliente, is more than 40 years old, having been introduced in 1975. The route crosses 34 tunnels and has 95 separate “sections”.

Perestelo stressed: “We really should have been making repairs over the years. We have been putting patches in place, but nothing definitive. This can lead to problems.

“We are already affected by the roots of the vegetation, and, as the channel deteriorates, we get leaks and losses.”

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Top stars add weight to pro-bullfight rally THRONGS of Spaniards have taken part in a protest rally in support of the controversial “sport” of bullfighting.

They marched in their thousands through the streets of Valencia to protest at local-authority bans applied in some parts of the country.

Famous names from the ritualistic sport attending the march were Enrique Ponce and Julian Lopez ‘El Juli’ Escobar.

They linked up at the gathering with another famous fighter, Jose Antonio Morante Ca-

macho, better known as Morante de la Puebla.

Participants held aloft banners stating that bullfighting was a key element of cultural expression.

Morante de la Puebla said: “The bullfighting world is aware of the problem and maltreatment we are suffering at the hands of a part of the political class.

But we are here to say, ‘this is our life, it’s a tradition’.”

Ponce, meanwhile read a defence of bullfighting, insisting the tradition had, for centuries, been an integral part of Spanish culture, even if some refused to accept it as such. And he urged that “toreros”, or bull-

fighters, be treated with the same respect as those pursuing “artistic” activities.

Earlier, a lower-key protest against bullfighting was staged, with some 20 semiclad activists splattered with red ink to symbolise the bulls’ suffering, demanding the practice be abolished.

Overall, Spain is split on the issue. Six years ago, the largely-autonomous regional Catalan goverment banned “corridas”, as the pastime is known in the region.

Some cities run by leftist administrations, including Madrid and Valencia, also cut subsidies for bullfighting recently.

‘School dinners must be tastier’ THE Tenerife Federation of Associations of Parents has expressed its concern about the menus served in school canteens.

According to its President, Eusebio Dorta, it is difficult to control the food quality being

served, because most school meals are prepared by outside suppliers.

The TFAP believes the standard of meals being served is not acceptable, and Dorta advocates the introduction of healthier offerings.

Beatriz Fumero, from the Ministry of Education, is also unhappy with the current choice.

She has voiced her opinion about the problem recently, and has insisted that the quality of food, often prepared many hours before the children eat their lunch, is less than desirable.

She is aware, too, that with the financial crisis, children may be badly-fed at home, which makes it necessary to have a quality menu in the schools.

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Tenerife routes on the increase THERE are more new travel routes being announced all the time, with an increase of direct flights from Tenerife to major destinations.

This week, Vueling confirmed that it was expanding its number of UK flights. They will now fly to Birmingham and Manchester from this summer, from South Tenerife airport, in a code-sharing partnership with British Airways.

The Birmingham route will operate on Tuesdays and Fridays, from 2nd June. And from 7th

July, flights to Manchester will be on Mondays and Thursdays.

Tenerife Cabildo President, Carlos Alonso, said: “Tenerife Tourism is committed to improving the connectivity with the Island and the big airports, and will continue to negotiate agreements. This is another example of the good work being done.”

Alonso, delighted with the South’s new link, hopes to have some new flights to announce from the North airport soon.

“We are trying to facilitate new operations and attract new routes with leading companies,” he added.

Meanwhile, Tourism

Minister Alberto Bernabe has valued the importance of these new connections, saying: “With more than 1.7 million British customers staying in our establishments on the Island last year, we are always looking at ways to grow.

And last year, we saw an increase of almost 5%.”

Since Vueling began operations in Tenerife North airport in December 2008, the airline has gradually increased its connections.

And from next summer, it will fly to 15 destinations, five of them international: Birmingham, Manchester, Rome (Fiumicino), Paris (Orly) and Zurich.

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TEENAGE record-breaker Alexandra Rinder has been presented with Adeje borough’s annual Abinque prize at a ceremony in the Centre for Tourist Development (CDTCA).

The 17-year-old reigning world body-boarding women’s champion, who has won the title twice in succession, is also the youngest person to be awarded the Abinque prize since its 2004 inception.

Canarian Government Vice President Patricia Hernández and Adeje Mayor José Miguel Rodríguez Fraga made the presentation, which was followed by the annual women’s dinner, attended by over 200 people.

Ms Hernández underlined the importance of the increased presence of women in sport, and the visibility of “our champions”.

She said: “Tonight, we are celebrating those who have trodden this path before us and who have opened the way.

But let’s not forget that there is still some way to go before women and men are on an equal footing.

“I am delighted to be able to present this

18th March - 24th March 2016

Alexandra riding the highest wave!

prize to the youngestever person to win the world title in the sport, and who has become a role model for young people.

“I feel so lucky to know young people like Alexandra, who take on challenges and ride enormous waves, in the same way that many overcome Mayor Fraga said: “Equality between the sexes is

something that matters to us all, and it is vitally important for the health of our communal co-existence.

“We are aware, also, that there is still a long way to go. There are many kinds of inequalities that need to be addressed in a world where, too often, inequalities block personal development.”

He said that Alexandra was an example of what could be achieved with strength of purpose, and that dreams could come true.”

He added: “The most important thing we have in this borough isn’t that we have the best hotels or the best tourist destination it’s our people, such as Alexandra, who are changing the world.

“She is an example of the new Adeje person, who has actively contributed to our community today, where so many different nationalities, cultures and ways of life exist in harmony”.

Alexandra said she was really proud to receive the award. She thanked Adeje Council for standing by her from the start of her

career, and for believing in her from the time she rode her first waves in La Caleta.

She said it was important to remember that, although it was considered to be a minority sport, it is now growing in stature, thanks to the borough’s support.

She also thanked her sponsors, her family and those who always believed in her, for giving her the help she needed to realise her dreams.

“There was always a lot of work, tears and stress, but a lot of happiness, too, on a journey which has allowed me get to know different cultures, countries and people from all over the world,” she said.

“But nothing compares with coming back home to Adeje, because I know my people are here.”

At just 16, Alexandra won her first bodyboarding world title to become the youngest champion, as well as being the second Canarian to win the women’s world crown.

In a sport generally considered to be the preserve of men, she has broken many barriers here and abroad.

She has also become an unofficial ambassador for Costa Adeje internationally, particularly in the world of water sports.

They can run … but they can’t dodge Crimestoppers

Drug dealer is held in Africa ONE of Britain’s “ M o s t -Wa n t e d ” fugitives, linked to a plot to import cocaine worth a staggering £71m into the UK, has been traced to Africa - and arrested there.

David McDermott, 42, has been held in Accra, the capital of Ghana, following a joint operation involving officers from the National Crime Agency (NCA) and the Ghanaian Bureau of National Investigation.

The fugitive, from Ormskirk, West Lancashire, is on the NCA’s list of 10 of Britain’s “Most Wanted” ab-

sconders, suspected of being a member of an organised, Liverpoolbased crime gang.

He is accused of being involved in a conspiracy to import and supply 400 kilos of cocaine, which was seized

from a container of frozen Argentinian beef in May 2013 at Tilbury Docks, Essex. He is also wanted for conspiracy to blackmail.

Police captured McDermott at a house in the Burma Hills area of

Accra, and extradition proceedings will begin next week.

McDermott’s arrest means that an incredible 76 out of 86 fugitives hunted by Operation Captura, which targets a list of on-therun suspects, have now been caught.

Dave Allen, Head of the NCA’s International Crime Bureau, said: “McDermott was the last-man-outstanding in a plot to smuggle a huge quantity of cocaine, which would have ended up on the streets of Merseyside.

“He will now be returned to the UK to stand trial.”

Lord Ashcroft, founder and Chairman of Crimestoppers, said: “With the 10th anni-

versary of Operation Captura on the horizon, I still find it immensely encouraging that arrests continue to be made, far and wide.

“While those featured as part of the campaign are suspected of being in Spain, the fact that McDermott was picked up in Ghana is, yet again, evidence that no matter where fugitives are, they will be found.”

The NCA investigation into the importation and supply of the cocaine found at Tilbury Docks has already resulted in six people being sentenced to a total of 64 years. McDermott was the last man wanted in the plot. McDermott, unaware that the cocaine

had been seized, was seen by NCA officers meeting with other members of the crime group.

They are alleged to have discussed the use of violence against anyone who had information. He is described as 5ft 11ins tall and has a two-inch scar on his wrist.

The operation was launched by the NCA after 16 holdalls full of high-quality cocaine, with a street value of £71m, were intercepted at Tilbury by Border Force officers.

The cocaine was replaced with dummy packages of bricks and the container was taken on a lorry to its final destination - a coldstorage unit in Wigan.

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Sink the Sun Tax, or solar users must pay

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

Not sweet on sugar tax BRITISH Chancellor George Osborne unveiled his latest budget on Wednesday and, in many ways, it was a Goldilocks effort.

The British economy has had a good few years, but there are signs that the green shoots of recovery could be trampled. Osborne knows this and, with fears over how the EU Referendum will go, he had to play it, erm, conservatively.

However, I cannot see for the life of me why he has decided to unveil a tax on the makers of sugary soft drinks. I understand the plan to tackle childhood obesity. But that can be cured in four words. Put Down The Fork!

Give kids proper food rather than Chicken Nuggets. Stop selling school playing-fields.

Make sport fun. It’s not rocket science. Osborne has revealed that the £530m raised by a tax on the sugar content of soft drinks - the equivalent of about 18-24p per litre - would be spent on primary school sports.

Rubbish. He’s the Chancellor, not the Education minister.

This tax will be introduced in two years’ time, so there could still be a

watering down. Interestingly, the tax will not apply to fruit juices or milk-based drinks. I’m thinking the same as you are. So called fruit juices, like ketchup, are full of sugar. And I’ve not seen too many sugar-free milkshakes.

But if we are taxing sugar drinks, why stop with tins of coke? There are around 20 teaspoons of sugar in a pint of fruity cider. And you don’t want to know how much is in a bottle of Bacardi.

Last year, a petition of over 155,000 signatures triggered a debate in parliament on a sugar tax and the Government said: “We have no plans to introduce a tax on sugar-sweetened beverages.”

Since then, the beancounters have worked out how much untapped money they could raise.

A good idea is a good idea. By my reckoning only water and air remains untaxed.

For now..!

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A MAJORITY of Spanish Parliamentary members have signed an agreement to remove what is known as the “Sun Tax”, according to the Spanish solar association, Union Espanola Fotovoltaica (UNEF).

The MPs want to delete a controversial Royal Decree against self-consumption of solar energy.

And though Spain has been unable to form a government following last December’s General Election, 227 members of parliament

agreed last week to remove negative policies against solar selfconsumption should a majority government be formed out of the agreement signatories.

And Marinao Rajoy’s conservative Popular party, (PP), which backs policies against solar self-consumption (the Sun Tax) on energy produced and consumed without feeding the grid, holds just 120 seats, which means it would lose any vote.

José Donoso, UNEF General Director, says this current agreement needs to be approved, formally, in parliament, but Spain is currently in a “complicated” political situation.

It is unclear whether a government will be

formed soon, or if a fresh General Election will have to take place in June.

Should a government be formed, the parties will have to agree to remove the “Sun Tax” within 100 days, and will approve a net-metering system. It is also hoped that these parties will simplify the solar administrative policies.

Last June, UNEF said a “Sun Tax” would make solar uneconomical, even for self-consumption, adding that netmetering policies were found in most Mediterranean countries, including Portugal, Italy, Greece, and Cyprus.

Daniel Pérez, attorney at Holtrop SLP, the company which wrote the new agreement doc-

ument, said it was critical for the owners of existing installations that the changes be made by 10th April.

Mr Pérez stressed: “The Royal Decree was approved on 10th October, and it ruled that existing installations have six months (up to 10th April) to adapt to the new norm. If the Royal Decree is not removed before then, owners of existing installations will have to make costly adaptations, such as including a meter and connecting to the grid.

“New installations would not be affected by the deadline, as they are likely to be installed with the necessary technical specifications of the decree anyway.”

Cops rave about huge drugs haul NEARLY 15,000 packets of synthetic cannabinoids (rave drugs), destined for Spain and the UK, were seized during a recent raid by Spanish police.

They are described as being more toxic than cocaine or marijuana, and five people, from Lithuania, Latvia and Ukraine, have been arrested.

The police investigation - dubbed Operation Rulas - began in January, when a secret laboratory was detected at a luxury villa in the Costa Blanca holiday resort of Altea.

Undercover officers discovered that two of the suspects, who were living at the property, left it regularly in the early hours to pick up alleged accomplices.

They then headed to

a warehouse, where the drugs were subsequently found.

Police in Spain involved Britain’s National Crime Agency, after seeing a parceldelivery firm collecting five boxes, bound for the UK, from the warehouse. They turned out to contain synthetic cannabinoids.

They obtained a warrant to search the premises, because of their suspicions. The legal products were be-

ing adulterated with harmful substances to produce effects similar to banned drugs.

A delighted spokesman for Spain’s National Police said: “They had prepared the drugs for sale in establishments known as grow shops.

“The people behind the underground labs which produce these synthetic drugs, known as rave drugs or legal highs, check the inclusion of the substances

they use in the lists of banned substances.

“They alter them with others, which are similar but unregulated, until they’re detected and classified as illegal.”

He added: “In this case, the suspects used a substance similar to methamphetamine, and another psychoactive drug, classified as an hallucinogen.

“Its toxic effect is stronger than that of marijuana or cocaine.”

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18th March - 24th March 2016

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Brexit disastrous, say top travel companies THREE of Britain’s leading travel organisations are on record as saying that if the country opts out of the EU, it would be “disastrous” for the tourism industry.

Monarch Group, Mediterranean specialist tour operator Esplora and award-winning Belfast travel agent Knock Travel have all expressed serious concerns in an Abta report that a “Brexit” would be negative for UK travel. And they believe it would, inevitably, lead to increased customer costs.

A report by the Association of British Holidaymakers (Abta) is aimed at businesses, as well as the customer.

The country go to the polls on 23rd June to have their say on whether Britain should remain in the EU. And the report highlights the nine ways the EU has benefited UK holidaymakers ahead of the 23rd June referendum According to Abta research, a Brexit will hit consumers hard in the pocket. And should the UK vote to leave the EU, there is a strong possibility of uncertainty during the negotiation period immediately following the referendum.

This could last until a replacement set of trading relations and regulations were in place, which could take years.

A Brexit could also see the value of Sterling impacted, and the extent to which operating from outside the EU would increase costs for the travel industry would depend largely on the agreements the industry would adopt, and the ease at which it could switch to the new arrangements.

And consumers would also need to cover any additional health insurance costs, should the UK also leave the European Health Insurance system.

With economic analy-

sis from Deloitte, the professional services’ firm, the report assesses how the existing relationship between the UK and the EU has affected UK travellers and the travel industry.7 It also looks at what the likely impact would be of a “leave” vote on consumer confidence, expectation and behaviour, as well as on the industry.

Over 29 million foreign holidays each year are made by UK tourists to EU countries, equating to 76% trips from the UK. There are many EU regulations in place now to benefit holiday-makers and business travellers. And the report finds that though these regulations would not change immediately, Brexit could have a significant, future impact.

Mark Tanzer, Abta chief executive, said: “Our assessment of the report’s findings is that a vote to leave will lead to uncertainties, and may lead to increased costs for travel businesses and the travelling public.

“We recognise that people will approach this referendum by considering many factors

- personal, professional, and economic - before casting their vote. Abta has considered what a vote to leave the EU might mean purely from a travel perspective.

“Our view is that the potential risks and downsides are not matched by an equal upside for the traveller.”

These include regulations on financial protection for package holidays, compensation for flight delays, access to free health cover through the European Health Insurance Card and caps on mobilephone charges.

The main findings of the report show that should Britain leave the EU, it would mean higher fares and prices for the customer throughout Europe.

Of immediate concern is the impact a period of prolonged uncertainty would have on the strength of the Pound against other currencies. A weaker Pound has a direct impact on spending power overseas, making the cost of holidaying or visiting abroad more expensive, as well as adding costs for UK businesses to buy abroad.

Monarch Group chief Andrew Swaffield believes a Brexit would, inevitably, mean higher air fares for those travelling out of the UK. “If the UK were to exit the EU, Monarch would view the outcomes for the travel sector as very negative - not least because of the uncertainty that would follow in the aftermath,” he said.

“This sweating period after the exit would be very damaging for the sector. An exit would most likely lead to higher air fares and fewer scheduled flights between the EU and the UK.” He added: “It could also bring an end to the European Health Insurance Card and shared tax laws that benefit many British home owners and expatriates living in the EU.’ Doreen McKenzie, owner of successful Belfast-based travel agent Knock Travel, goes one step further and says it would be “disastrous” if the UK left the EU. “Confidence in travel is high, but if we leave the EU there would be a prolonged period of uncertainty during any renegotiation period, and

this could take several years,’ she said.

“The effect of this would, most likely, be more bureaucracy and increased travel costs, which, in turn, would impact negatively on consumer confidence.

“Combine this with the fact that many current EU regulations have been put in place to benefit and protect holiday-makers and business travellers - including reciprocal health arrangements, compensation for delayed flights, financial protection for package holidays, freedom of movement among others - and it becomes clear that for UK travellers, the benefits of remaining in the EU far outweigh any perceived negatives.”

One of the main concerns emerging from Abta’s report is that British holiday-makers may be priced out of travel if a Brexit goes ahead. The Brits are hugely active in terms of overseas visits, with nearly 11 million people visiting Spain every year, and just 680 Spanish people travelling the other way, Boris Johnson insists he will campaign for Brit-

ain to leave the EU because it would save money and regain control for the British people.

The Mayor of London electrified the EU referendum campaign by ending months of speculation and dismissing David Cameron’s EU deal as insignificant, saying he could not turn down this “once-in-alifetime” chance to quit the EU. Cameron, said to be “absolutely furious” with the Mayor of London’s Brexit decision, made a fruitless, lastditch attempt in February to persuade him to join the “In” campaign by warning against “linking arms with Nigel Farage and George Galloway”.

Willie Walsh, a powerful figure in the travel sector and Business Chief Executive of International Airlines Group - which owns British Airways - has already voiced his support for the “stay” campaign, saying he is all for the UK remaining in a reformed EU. But that is simply Walsh’s personal opinion because neither IAG nor British Airways has adopted sides.

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18th March - 24th March 2016

Low blow for Spaniards SPANISH men do not appear to be as fertile as their European cousins, and around 50% have a semen situation, according to a report by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

Between 30-50% of them, still able to reproduce, have a lower quality than the standard parameters set by the WHO. This is deduced from the “Current Issues in Assisted Reproduction” data, presented in Congress recently and organised by the Ginefiv Foundation, in collaboration with the University of Alcalá (UAH) and the Autonomous University of Madrid (UAM), which involved more than 200 professionals.

In addition, experts expect that cases of infertility associated with male factors will increase over the next decade as a result of a deterioration of the seminal quality of the Spanish.

This is down to multiple environmental factors, and an unhealthy lifestyle. “Some 15% of

men may have a genetic disorder linked to a fertility problem and, currently, 7% of men are infertile,”said Victoria Verdu, Co-ordinator of Gynaecology at the Ginefiv Clinic.

She stresses the need for early detection because additional studies will help discover the consequences of infertility.

“With a minimal research on the male factor, such as DNA fragmentation, the causes are identified in 75% of cases,” said Verdu.

Also, thanks to diagnostic tests, patients can detect their infertility quickly, and Verdu added: “It is important to detect at an early stage if they are smokers, if they have been treated with chemotherapy, if they have risky professions, chronic prostatitis or advanced age. All these factors determine treatment.”

Infertility can be transmitted genetically, leading to an increased risk of suffering in the case of children with parents with low seminal quality.

Holiday jobs’ surge EASTER is just around the corner, and that has led to a surge in job opportunities. The Canaries will see an extra 12,200 job contracts 2% increase compared with last Easter.

But that is 12% below the national average, according to human resources company Adecco.

By provinces, Las Palmas and Santa Cruz made a similar number of contracts: 6,220 and 5,976, respectively, which place them 20th and 21st in the national ranking.

Adecco says that nationally, there will be 400,000 extra contracts over Easter, representing a 14% increase, yearon-year.

Along with the Canary Islands, other tourist resorts will also get

a big boost. Some of these regions are Andalucia, Cataluña, Murcia, Madrid and Valencia, which together will have an extra 250,000 contracts.

Sectors requiring more jobs this Easter are linked to tourism.

For this reason, hiring increased, most notably in the hotel and restaurant businesses, by about 20%, and in the motor sector by the same total.

The most requested profiles are those in the demanding hospitality and tourism sectors. They includes cooks, kitchen assistants, waiters and bartenders.

In other sectors, there is a need for shop assistants, commercial and stewards of land, and telemarketers.

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‘Illegal’ fishing family are held SIX people, including five members of the fishing barons from Spain’s Vidal family, have been charged with catching Patagonian toothfish illegally.

They were arrested and held in joint raids

by Spanish police and Interpol in Galicia, north-west Spain, for hunting protected species The Vidal family run the Ribeiro Vidal Armadores company, and among those held were owner Antonio Vidal and three of his children, accused of illegally fishing in Antarctic waters.

The fish, rich in socalled health-enhancing Omega-3 fatty acids, is known as “white gold” in the industry because it can sell for as much as 130 euros (£100) a kilo.

And, as a large catch can be worth as much as 50 million euros, poachers are willing to take the risk of being fined.

The Vidals, well-known for their record of illegal fishing, have a factory in the town of Boiro which, for several years, has been manufacturing products based on Omega-3.

It was one of three premises searched during the raids, and the presence of both Interpol and Europol agents suggests that it is an international investigation, with further arrests, possibly, to follow.

Lasse Gustavsson, executive director of the NGO Oceana in Europe, said: “This is the first time the Spanish Civil Guard, Interpol and Europol have joined forces against illegal fishing in a joint action.

“This announcement is a watershed in the fight to eradicate illegal, unreported and unregulated fishing of our oceans.”

And Elvira Jiménez, head of Greenpeace Spain’s oceans campaign, said: “What’s dif-

ferent is that it isn’t just the Ministry of Agriculture that’s involved but the police, Interpol and, above all, the Audiencia Nacional (High Court).”

She added: “We haven’t seen details of the charges, but if the High Court is involved, these are now criminal proceedings and could lead to jail sentences and not just fines.”

Police sources allege that at the time of his arrest, Antonio Vidal did not deny fishing in the Antarctic. But he said it was only illegal if countries had signed the treaty to protect fish stocks.

And, as his ship was flagged in Equatorial Guinea, which is not a signatory, he claimed he had done nothing wrong.

According to Jiménez, however, he would still need permission to fish in those waters, regardless of where

his ship was flagged.

Furthermore, she added, as Spain is a signatory to the European agreement to outlaw illegal, unreported and unregulated (IUU) fishing, Vidal’s activities amount to a serious infraction.

It is not the first time the Vidals have been accused of illegal fishing - Antonio has already been convicted in the US for attempting to smuggle toothfish.

His vessels have been blacklisted, but the ships have been renamed and reflagged in countries such as Equatorial Guinea, Mauretania and Panama - as many as six times - to evade the authorities.

And Jiménez said one of his ships had been renamed three times in a year.

Last year, Spain’s Agriculture Ministry imposed fines of over 17m euros for illegal fishing

on three Galician-based vessels, all blacklisted and all linked to Vidal.

The same three vessels were pursued by the New Zealand Navy in Antarctic waters last year for the same offence.

These fines have been offset by the generous subsidies - as much as 16m euros, according to Greenpeace - that Vidal’s companies have received over the years from the Spanish Government and the European Union.

The Patagonian toothfish, a species of cod icefish which can weigh as much as 150kg, may live for up to 50 years.

But because it takes as long as 15 years to reach sexual maturity and has a low reproductive rate, it is particularly vulnerable.

The Prince of Wales is among those who have campaigned for its protection.

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18th March - 24th March 2016

Snoring’s deadly aftermath WE all know that a good night’s sleep can make us feel great, and that being kept awake by someone who is snoring is most annoying.

But being a heavy snorer creates more serious problems than just getting on other people’s nerves!

Recent research shows that snoring may cause cancerous tumours to grow and spread, because vital organs are starved of oxygen.

The body then releases a signal to form more blood vessels, via proteins. In turn, this feeds tumours, allowing them to grow and spread.

Those who suffer from sleep apnoea - when breathing can be halted for 10 seconds or more - have far worse cancer outcomes than those who sleep soundly.

This may explain why those who exercise, and get oxygen pumping through their blood, may be more protected from cancers than those who lead seden-

Tragedy hits the homeless LIFE is always hard for the homeless, and, although efforts are being made to solve the problem, for some it is already too late.

tary lives. Sleep apnoea is thought to affect an estimated 44% of British middle-aged men, and 2% of middle-aged women.

Previous studies have linked sleep apnoea with an increased risk of high blood pressure and strokes, but there was no explanation of the link to more aggressive cancers.

This new study, which used mice with kidney tumours, suggested it could be down to a condition known as hypoxia, where a tissue - or organ - does not receive enough oxygen.

Dr Antoni Vilaseca, of Barcelona’s Hospital

Clinic, said: “Patients suffering from obstructive sleep apnoea usually suffer from intermittent hypoxia at night.

“This work shows that intermittent hypoxia has the potential to promote the formation of blood vessels within tumours, meaning that the tumours have access to more nutrients.

“This is, of course, an early, animal study, so we need to be cautious in applying this to humans.

“Nevertheless, this work indicates a plausible mechanism for just why conditions which restrict oxygen flow to tissues, like sleep ap-

noea, may promote cancers.”

The findings were presented at Munich’s European Association of Urology Congress, where Chairman Professor Arnulf Stenzl, of Tübingen University, said: “Although this is an experimental study, it is remarkable because it demonstrates the influence of oxygen-deficiency on the growth of renal-cell carcinoma tissue - both primary tumour, as well as metastases.”

They are the development of secondary malignant growths, at a distance from a primary site of cancer.

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There is growing evidence that long-term homelessness leads to long-term, mentalhealth issues.

In Santa Cruz, 25% of those who have used the homeless shelter have some sort of mental illness, which rises by 15% in those who return to the streets.

These staggering figures were revealed by Social Affairs Minister Oscar Garcia when he

presented a report on the welfare of those staying at the statefunded shelter.

Last year, 57 people, aged 60-80, came to the shelter at some point. They were either homeless or on the streets, and accounted for 20% of the total number of the 300-plus users.

Garcia says his department is working for the promotion of an Insular (State) Plan, with the cooperation of all administrations.

They are all trying to solve the long-term problems of the homeless, especially those over 65, and those with mental-health problems.

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HEALTH service sources in Galicia say the first baby born in Spain to a mother infected with the Zika virus is out of danger.

It appears that the child has not been affected by exposure to the horrific disease, although this hasn’t been confirmed.

The mother was exposed to the virus during a stay in Venezuela. And University of Santiago Hospital Complex doc-

18th March - 24th March 2016

Zika mum and baby seem to get all-clear tors are following the premature baby’s development to make sure there are no complications.

Although the mother discovered she had been infected when she went to the Santiago de Compostela hospital at the end of February because

she was about to give birth, she has now recovered completely.

Routine tests showed that the Galicia mum might have been exposed to the virus between the fourth and fifth month of her pregnancy, which coincided with her Venezuela stay.

But despite going for a check-up at the time after feeling unwell, medics there were unable to confirm her exposure to Zika.

Forty-three Zika cases have been diagnosed in Spain, according to the Health Ministry, and among them are

Turkish migration deal given the thumbs-down SPAIN is definitely not in favour of the Germany-brokered migration deal with Turkey, which is being debated this week by EU leaders.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel spelled out the outlines of an accord last week, allowing Turkey to take back refugees and migrants in return for cash and easier visa restrictions. But rights groups and the United Nations have raised concerns that the agreement, if implemented, might be in breach of EU

and the international Human Rights Law. Foreign Affairs Minister José García-Margallo y Marfil said in Brussels: “Spain condemns, concretely, the possibility of collective expulsions.

The fact is that everybody who reaches European soil has the right to individual treatment.”

He added: “What does that mean? It means to submit an asylum request. Then this asylum request is examined.

And if this asylum request is refused, they have a right to appeal. In

which case, the return is suspended.”

Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein, the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, who was also in the Belgian capital for talks with EU officials, urged them to reconsider the tentative agreement struck with Ankara.

“I hope every consideration is given to the independent assessment that we certainly do not want to see blanket returns,” said Al Hussein.

“These potential inconsistencies between EU

law and policy are, basically, wrung out of the agreement, and we have something fully in line with EU and international human rights law.”

European Union leaders meet today (Thursday) and tomorrow to try to finalise the deal. But it faces many hurdles, including stiff opposition from Cyprus.

Nicosia has long-opposed closer ties between the EU and Turkey, because of Ankara’s refusal to recognise the Greek-Cypriot Government.

five pregnant women – two in Madrid, two in Catalonia and another in Galicia.

Of the total number of Zika-infected people, nine were detected in Catalonia, 13 in Madrid, six in Castilla and Leon, five in Aragon, two in Asturias, two in Valencia and one case each in Andalusia, Murcia, Navarra, La Rioja, Galicia and the Basque Country.

The World Health Organisation Emergency Committee said recently that there was more and more evidence linking the virus to serious neurological diseases, such

as microcephaly - a condition where babies are born with abnormallysmall heads.

Last month, Spain adopted a system to face the Zika epidemic, and a response plan to other diseases transmitted by the Aedes aegypti mosquito, a carrier of dengue and chikungunya.

Among the measures, it was recommended that people coming from areas of ongoing transmission should use protection with their sexual partners, especially if that partner is a pregnant. Health authorities also asked to postpone possible blood donations.

In both cases, the recommendations would be extended to six months if the travellers show symptoms when arriving in the country.

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18th March - 24th March 2016

So what’s the secret of long life, Yisrael?

THE world’s oldest man still living, says the Guinness World Records organisation, is 112 and, remarkably, a survivor of the Auschwitz death camp.

Yisrael Kristal, born near Zarnow in Poland in 1903, lived through two World Wars before moving to the Israeli city of Haifa. And last Friday (11th March), he was exactly 112 years and 178 days old.

The previous oldestrecorded living man, Japan’s Yasutaro Koide, died in January aged 112 years and 312 days.

Yisrael, upon receiving his Guinness World Records certificate, said he did not know the “secret for long life” and that he believed everything was “determined from above”.

He added: “There have been smarter, stronger and better-looking men then me who are

no longer alive. All that is left for us to do is to keep on working as hard as we can and rebuild what is lost.”

The incredible evergreen Pole, son of a religious scholar, was separated from his parents during World War One. He later moved to Lodz to work in the family confectionery business.

When Nazi Germany invaded Poland in 1939, Yisrael and his family were moved into the Lodz ghetto.

His two children died there and Yisrael and his wife, Chaja Feige Frucht, were sent to Auschwitz in 1944 after the ghetto was

liquidated. His wife was murdered in Auschwitz, but he survived, performing slave labour there and in other camps. When he was found by the Allies in May 1945, he weighed just 37kg (5st 11lbs).

Yisrael, sole survivor from his family, emigrated to Israel in 1950 with his second wife and their son, where he continued to run his confectionery business until his retirement.

His daughter, Shula Kuperstoch, said the Holocaust had not affected her father’s beliefs. “He is optimistic, wise, and he values what he has,” she told the Jerusalem Post.

The oldest woman alive today is believed to be an American woman, Susannah Mushatt Jones, who is 115 years and 249 days.

And the oldest person ever to have lived is thought to be Frenchwoman Jeanne Calment, who died at the age of 122 years and 164 days.

The islands of eternal youth UNTIL recently, reaching your 100th birthday was quite an achievement - but it is now becoming more common. It is not only easier to reach 100, but the physical and mental circumstances in which you can are increasingly better.

In recent years, the number of centenarians on the Island, has increased, considerably and, significantly, the data collected by the Canary Institute of Statistics shows that most are women.

Last year in the Canaries, a total of 629 people were over 100 and 309 were living in Tenerife, compared with Gran Canaria’s 177.

Of those living here, 97 are men and 212 women, and there has been an increase in this 100 club in recent years.

In 2010, there were 147 centenarians (110 women and 37 men), yet 16 years ago there were just 54.

There are 939 people between the ages of 95-99, so the number of those hitting a ton will probably rise over the next few years.

In Santa Cruz, there are 149 old folk over 100 years, and 39 are located in La Laguna.

They are followed by the municipalities of La Orotava (14), Güímar (12) and Candelaria (10).

Lourdes Bermejo, a Social Gerontology expert, said: “In Spain, according to the National Institute of Statistics, there are more than 13,000 elderly people over 100 years, of which 80% are women.

“This figure will quadruple by 2050 because people who have reached 100 have a

greater resistance to diseases, and have a genetic advantage to help them reach the limits of human longevity.”

She added that the appearance of diseases associated with ageing, such as cancer or cardiovascular disease, were delayed, or just did not happen.

The Social Gerontology expert stressed that many of the centenarians followed a healthy, simple life in a favourable, natural environment.

They are stimulated at all times, and stay active, striving to help their families and communities.

Hereditary and genetic influences, such as being self-confident, having a strong sense of purpose and not smoking, all contributed to living a long life.

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Safe Investment – Smooth Returns

January 2016 has been the worst opening for stock markets in the last decade.

The world stock markets have taken a huge drop in value since the start of 2016. The falls have been in the region of 15-20% depending on where the investment has been allocated.

The UK, Europe, and the USA are showing losses of around 1215%, and the emerging markets of Russia, Brazil, and China are down by 20% plus.

This again has shown how volatile and fickle world stock markets can be and how quickly shares and equities can fall in value.

Investors have to ask if they want to expose themselves to this risk or do they want a safe investment with a steady smooth return.

Take a look at the graph on the Prudential Protected Cautious fund that has produced smooth returns of 6 to

7% over the last four years. It has also provided a Capital Guarantee on client’s initial investment and ask yourself which you would prefer – • Stock market fluctu-

ations • Risk of losing your capital • Sleepless nights OR • A Capital Guarantee on your money

• A steady return of 6-7% per annum • Access to your capital at any time • Option to take regular income payments • Spanish tax compliant investment

If you want SECURITY If you want LIQUIDITY If you want RETURNS Then call us to discuss this investment to see if it is suitable for your needs with no obligation whatso-

ever.

To all of our clients in the Canaries who already have this investment and have had a great return in 2015; here’s looking forward to 2016 to providing more of the same!

Sebastian & St James International Financial Advisors Limited: advice based on integrity, trust and experience.

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Amazon’s

pay-by-selfie bid GIANT online retailer Amazon has filed a patent application to allow users to pay for items by taking a selfie.

Pay-back time for flying pest A DISRUPTIVE passenger is being taken to court by budget airline Jet2.com because her “aggressive behaviour” forced its flight on New Year’s Day to be diverted from Newcastle.

Her unruly, onboard antics meant the plane wasn’t able to land at its scheduled destination. Extra costs were incurred, and Jet2.com wants to recover these expenses.

The Sunderland woman was travelling from Tenerife to Newcastle when she became verbally abusive towards the cabin crew.

She became so disruptive and offensive that Jet2’s captain took the decision to divert to Shannon Airport in the West of Ireland, to protect the safety of both passengers and crew.

The Boeing 737-800 was carrying 161 passengers and six crew when it landed in Ireland, and the unruly woman was taken off the plane and handed over to local police.

It led to a frustrating delay for the travellers and crew, who were about four hours late when they finally arrived at Newcastle Airport.

Phil Ward, Jet2.com Managing Director, said: “Our Onboard Together initiative commits us to a zero-tolerance approach to antisocial behaviour on our flights.

“Our customers look

forward to an enjoyable flight experience with us, and we will not let a disruptive few spoil this. We will take whatever action is necessary to stamp it out.

“This passenger showed no respect to our cabin crew or her fellow-passengers. Not only did she compromise their comfort and safety, but she also caused an unnecessary delay to customers returning home from their festive holidays.”

Mr Ward added: “These delays also impact on Jet2.com financially, so we will continue to actively pursue reimbursement of our costs.

“Passengers should be in no doubt that the consequences of abusive and unruly behaviour onboard aircraft do lead to custodial and financial penalties.”

Since Jet2.com launched Onboard Together, more than 460 passengers have been refused travel because of their bad behaviour - and 56 of these have been given lifetime bans.

Mr Ward said: “Disruptive passenger behaviour is an ongoing issue that needs tackling for the good of the vast majority of all customers, as well as my crew and colleagues.

“We are working closely with airlines, airports, trade associations and other industry partners to create a consistent and robust response to this issue.

In addition to taking action to recover costs incurred by the diversion, Jet2.com has also banned the passenger for life.

The company says the move would improve people’s security as they carry out more and more online tasks.

The application states: “While many conventional approaches rely on password entry for user-authentication, these passwords can be stolen or discovered by other persons, who can impersonate the user for any of a variety of tasks.

“Further, the entry of these passwords on portable devices is not user-friendly in many cases, as the small touchscreen or keyboard elements can be difficult to accurately select using a relatively large human finger.

“It can require the user to turn away from friends or co-workers when entering a password, which can be awkward or embarrassing in many situations.”

Amazon said the “selfie pay” option would also be safer than using facial recognition software, because “this can often be spoofed by

holding a picture of the user in front of the camera. The resulting twodimensional image can look substantially the same, whether taken of the user or a picture of the user.”

For users to pay for items this way, they

would need to take a selfie to confirm their identity, then take another photo that confirms “the person contained in the first image corresponds to a physical being in proximity of the computing device”.

This, said the application, could include people smiling, blinking, or tilting their head. The application, filed last October, was published only recently.

MasterCard has already trialled a new technology that would allow customers to pay online by taking a selfie, rather than entering a password.

The pilot was limited to 500 customers, who were asked to snap a photograph of their face instead of typing in their own personal code when paying using their smartphone.

Gypsy feud more than just hot air!

FEUDING gypsy clans in the Valencia area sparked a gun battle after one broke wind as he passed by within earshot of another.

The shoot-out erupted shortly before midnight on Sunday in Xenillet, Torrent, after the young man caught in the firing line performed a similar response.

The situation quickly escalated, with one man’s wife joining the fray, claiming she was insulted. The neighbour’s wife also got involved, until guns were

pulled and shots fired.

“What began as a bit of silliness grew more and more violent and ended up with a double shooting,” reported the local newspaper.

A 57-year-old, shot three times in the stomach, was early this week being treated in Valencia Hospital’s intensive care unit, where his condition was described as “serious”.

His 29-year-old son, who was shot in the leg, is expected to make a full recovery.

Two other men taken

to hospital have since been discharged, and four people have been arrested.

Around 50 police officers are now patrolling the neighbourhood to keep the peace, amid fears of revenge attacks.

Other teams of police have been posted outside the hospital.

The Xenillet Torrent neighbourhood is home to a large number of gypsy families, and the two clans involved in the scrap are said to have been sworn enemies for decades.

Ducks go quackers over their new diet IT has long been known that bread is not the healthiest of foods for ducks, and since we were urged to stop taking leftovers to ponds and rivers all over the country, they are now enjoying a much-healthier diet.

The Canal and River Trust launched a campaign last year, and a recent poll has shown a 20% drop in the number of people feed-

ing bread to ducks.

The Trust, which looks after 2,000 miles of waterways in England and Wales, suggests that a diet consisting of seeds, fruit and vegetables is more suitable. And the number of people feeding ducks in this way has doubled.

Around 80,000 fewer bread loaves have been thrown into canals, rivers, ponds and lakes over the past year, but well-intentioned people are still tossing around 3.5 million loaves in waterways, annually.

Bread is bad for ducks because they flock to the food, which can re-

sult in over-population.

Uneaten bread can also attract pests, and spread diseases, and excessive droppings can reduce water quality and clog channels.

The public poll found that more people in the South West changed their habits, with 23% fewer feeding bread to the ducks. The North East was a close second, with a 22% drop.

Peter Birch, National Environment Manager for the Canal and River Trust, said: “We’re really pleased with the public response to our campaign so far, and the way people are chang-

ing their duck-feeding habits. “However, there is still work to be done, and too much bread is being dumped in the waterways.”

He urged people to help ducks to “eat sensibly”, saying: “It takes only a few simple changes, such as swapping bread for healthy food that is closer to a duck’s natural diet - like oats, corn or peas.” he said.

“If everyone avoided going to the same duck-feeding hotspots, and exercised portion-control, that would also make a big difference.”

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St. Patrick’s Day

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St. Patrick’s Day in Tenerife!

The south of Tenerife turned green once yesterday (Thursday) as the traditional St Patrick’s Day celebrations saw tens of thousands in party mood.

And Adeje literally went green as for the second year Plaza de España was lit up in the colours of the Irish flag.

Oasis Fm broadcast live all afternoon from Murphy’s Bar, Kaluna Beach Club and Devon Arms.

Just about every bar got into the spirit as well with many partying into the early hours. It’s safe to say there will be a thousands of sore heads!

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Business

www.canarianweekly.com 18th March - 24th March 2016

www.canarianweekly.com 18th March - 24th March 2016

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21 CW

Guide

Sport Relief 2016

Don't Miss...

Friday 18th March, BBC1, 19:00 Gary Lineker and David Walliams kick off the biggest Sport Relief night ever live from Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, packed with appearances from the best sport and entertainment talent in the UK. Sporting encounter Clash of the Titans returns as two celebrity teams, captained by cricketing hero Freddie Flintoff MBE and Olympic legend Sir Steve Redgrave, go head to head in five events across the night.

David Walliams returns with his anarchic Little Britain character Emily Howard alongside former England striker Peter Crouch, comedian Mickey Flanagan and the England women’s football team ‘The Lionesses’. Comedian Jo Brand receives a hero’s welcome and shares the unique experience of her ‘Hell of a Walk’. EastEnders star Lacey Turner joins the line-up to reveal more about her character Stacey’s recent experiences, while Michael Crawford is back in a beret as Frank Spencer returns to the BBC after nearly 40 years for more calamitous events on the track with Sir Bradley Wiggins.

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TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

Fri 18th Mar 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ............... Heir Hunters 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ........Countryside 999 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ......................BBC News at One 13:30 .................BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ......................... WPC 56 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00................ BBC News at Six 18:30............ BBC London News 19:00....................... Sport Relief 2016 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:25............ BBC London News 22:35...Sport Relief 2016 01:00.......... The Celebrity Apprentice USA

CW

choice

06:15 ............... Heir Hunters 07:00........ Countryside 999 07:45.Caught Red Handed 08:15..................... Sea Cities 09:15 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00......................BBC News 12:00 .......The Daily Politics 13:00.... The Chef’s Protege 13:30...............Portillo’s State Secrets 14:00..................Who Do You Think You Are? 15:00........ The Doctor Blake Mysteries 15:55...Britain’s Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 16:55.......Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 17:25............... Bargain Hunt 18:00 .............. Eggheads 18:30.......... Too Much TV 19:00.........Mary Berry’s W C Easter Feast choice 20:00........... Mastermind 20:30...Gardeners’ World 21:00...Land of Hope and Glory - British Country Life 22:00...Sport Relief 2016 22:40..............Newsnight 23:10.............Artsnight CW choice 23:40...... The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30 ........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30............. ITV Lunchtime News 14:00............... Jeremy Kyle’s Emergency Room 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00 ................ ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30 .Coronation Street 20:00...Best Walks with W C a View with choice Julia Bradbury 20:30..Coronation Street 21:00......... It’ll be Alright on the Night 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40............... Benidorm 23:10...................For Your Eyes Only 01:25............ Jackpot247

Best Walks With A View With Julia Bradbury ITV1, 20.00

Following in the footsteps of Sherlock Holmes, this classic English walk sees Julia take in the white cliffs of the Seven Sisters, Beachy Head and the seaside charm of Birling Gap. Her walk ends at the Belle Tout lighthouse, with commanding views across the rolling Sussex Downs and the distinctive white English cliffs.

Setting off from the award-winning village of East Dean, Julia explores one of the longest undeveloped coastlines on the south coast - one which is also disappearing at a staggering erosion rate of almost one meter a year.

A classic holiday spot for all the family, Julia discovers the area’s rich social history at Birling Gap, the mystery of Sherlock Holmes’ retirement, and hears how a lighthouse was shifted 17 metres back from the cliff in a three-hour walk that celebrates the natural wonder of this unspoilt classic English coastline.

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TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

W C choice

06:20............ How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45.........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:10........ Everybody Loves Raymond 07:35.........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:00 ..... The Morning Line 09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00 .......................Car S.O.S 11:00 ............Shipping Wars 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05...... Food Unwrapped 12:35 .................Cheltenham Festival 16:30 ............ Three in a Bed 17:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 ....... The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 .... Channel 4 News 19:30............ Unreported World 20:00 ...... Grand Designs 21:05 ............ Gogglebox 22:05.......... The Last Leg 23:10 .............First Dates 00:15 ............... Raised by Wolves

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

06:30............... Fireman Sam 06:40......................... Wissper 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:10 ............. Little Princess 07:20 ..........Bob the Builder 07:35 .................Thomas and Friends 07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35.................... Paw Patrol 08:50.................... Bananas in Pajamas 09:00.................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

13:15 ........Home and Away 13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15 ............................... NCIS 15:15 ............ Abducted: The Carlina White Story

08:55...................... Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

07:10................... MasterChef Australia

09:35.......Food Unwrapped

06:00.......................... Sunrise

07:00................ The World of Stupid Criminals

07:30 .......WWE Main Event

07:20 ......Ice Road Truckers

09:00 .........Barclays Premier League World

06:30 ..........................Sunrise 07:00 ..........................Sunrise 09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

17:30 .................Neighbours

13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

18:00 .............. Home and Away

15:00 .. The Holidaymakers

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

16:30..................... Futurama

19:00............. The Gadget Show

17:00 .............The Simpsons

21:00 .......................NCIS: New Orleans 21:55 .......................NCIS

01:30.................. Virtually Famous

06:25 .................Who Do You Think You Are?

08:10 ................. Humble Pie

10:05................... Come Dine with Me

09:15 .......................... The Bill

11:10............... Four in a Bed

10:20 ...................EastEnders

11:45 ...............Four in a Bed

11:00.............. Tipping Point

12:15 ...............Four in a Bed

12:00 ..............Tipping Point

13:55.................... Come Dine with Me

13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 .................Who Do You Think You Are?

14:25.. Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun

15:00..................Who Do You Think You Are?

17:45......A Place in the Sun

16:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn

19:55............. Great Canal Journeys

17:00 .......My Dream Home 18:00........ Tipping Point 19:00........ Tipping Point 20:00............ Humble Pie 21:00 ................... Grimm 22:00 ............ EastEnders 22:40.......Meet Joe Black

18:50......... The Supervet

21:00........................ Spin 22:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime

20:00..... That’s So...1984

00:45............ Cheltenham Festival Highlights

06:00.........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20................. Dinner Date 07:10........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 09:00 ........... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:40.............. Judge Rinder 15:40 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 19:00......... Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00........ The Break-Up 23:10 ............ Family Guy 00:10 ......American Dad!

11:15 .......Cowboy Builders

12:15 ........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

22:55 ................ NCIS: Los Angeles

16:00..................... Futurama

17:30..................... Futurama 18:00............... Futurama 18:30........ The Simpsons 20:00...... Dogs Might Fly 21:00............... Stan Lee’s Lucky Man

23:50.....True Crimes: The First 72 Hours

22:00...................... Stella

00:15..........Super Casino

01:00 ............. Road Wars

23:00........ Hawaii Five-0

23 CW

08:10...... American Pickers 10:00....................... Top Gear 11:00 .......................Top Gear 12:00.... Storage Hunters UK 12:30.... Storage Hunters UK 14:00....... American Pickers 15:00....... American Pickers 16:00 .......................Top Gear

08:30......... Premier League

09:30 .......... Premier League Darts 13:00 .........Barclays Premier League World 13:30...................The Premier League Years 15:30... La Liga Show 2015

17:00 .......................Top Gear

16:00.......... Premier League 100 Club

18:00...American Pickers

16:30 ............... BPL Legends

19:00...American Pickers

17:00 .........Game Changers

20:00.. Ice Road Truckers

17:30 .........Barclays Premier League World

21:00............Dangerman 22:00...... Mock the Week 23:20............Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled 00:20............................ QI 01:00............................ QI 01:40............................ QI

18:00 ........... The Fantasy Football Club 19:00................. Football 22:05 ........... The Fantasy Football Club 23:05..................Football

Artsnight BBC2, 23.10

Artist Ryan Gander believes that there is too much of a ‘fear factor’ around the idea of art. For his edition of Artsnight, and the final episode in this series, Ryan proposes that everyday life can be a deeply creative act.

Ryan explores an artistic colony; encounters a couple who have made their house into an aesthetic experience; and travels to Berlin to meet the award-winning artist Olafur Eliasson, who is fascinated by cookery.

Mary Berry’s Easter Feast BBC2, 19:00

Mary shares her favourite Easter recipes, such as hot cross buns, simnel cake and roast lamb, and takes a look at how Christian communities all over the world celebrate Easter with special food.

In this episode, Mary discovers the diverse traditions followed by British families and communities during Lent and Good Friday.

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TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

Sat 19th mar 06:00 ...................... Breakfast

06:35.................. The Big Sky

10:00 ........Saturday Kitchen Live

08:35 .....................Forbidden Planet

11:30 ..............James Martin: Home Comforts

10:10 ..............Homes Under the Hammer

12:00 .....................BBC News

11:10............. Natural World

12:10............ Football Focus

12:00 ...................... Rick Stein From Venice to Istanbul

06:35 ..........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

13:00......................... The Best Dishes Ever

06:50 .............................Sooty

13:30 ...............Escape to the Country

07:15......................... Looped

12:50 ........................Saturday Sportsday 13:00....................... Athletics 14:00 ................... Six Nations Rugby Union 16:30................... Final Score

14:20 ........... The Red Shoes

17:15.... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

16:30........................... Flog It!

17:45 ........................Celebrity Mastermind 18:15.............. BBC News 18:25........... BBC London News 18:30 ................Pointless 19:20 .............Six Nations Rugby Union 22:00 .......... The National Lottery Live

18:30.............. Gardeners’ World 19:00 ................ Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 20:00......Perry and Croft: Made in Britain 20:30.............Dad’s Army

06:15 ......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:25.......... Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

06:45 .............. Share a Story 07:05......................... Super 4 07:30 ..................Scrambled!

07:35 ....................... Mr. Bean 07:50 ...............Horrid Henry 08:10 ..................... Nerds and Monsters 08:30............................. Jessie 09:05 ................The Tom and Jerry Show 09:25.......................... Murder, She Wrote 10:20 .......................... Murder, She Wrote

21:00................Michael CW Jackson’s Journey choice From Motown to Off the Wall

11:20 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show

23:50........ The Uninvited

22:30.................Pop Goes BBC Two

12:30 ...........................Big Box Little Box

01:15........... Wake Wood

00:00.................Athletics

13:00 .............. Judge Rinder

22:10.............. BBC News 22:30..................Match of the Day

W C choice

17:30 ...................Big Dreams Small Spaces

06:00 ......... Bottom Knocker Street

12:25.............. ITV News and Weather

14:00 ....................The Chase 15:00 ..............Tipping Point

The Jonathan Ross Show

16:00 ....................... ITV News London

ITV1, 21:40

16:15.............. ITV News and Weather

In this week’s show, Jonathan chats to X-Men star Hugh Jackman, along with his co-star Taron Egerton from the upcoming Eddie the Eagle film, British stand-up comedian Shazia Mirza, High-Rise and The Hobbit star Luke Evans, while Primal Scream provide this week’s music.

16:30 ............................Rugby 19:10......... Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 20:40 ........ You’re Back in the Room 21:40......The Jonathan Ross Show

CW

choice

22:45......... ITV News and Weather 23:00................. Yes Man 01:00 ........... Jackpot247

Michael Jackson’s Journey From Motown to Off the Wall BBC2, 21:00 Documentary by Spike Lee about the ‘King of Pop’, Michael Jackson, which follows him from his early years at Motown Records until his legendary first solo album Off the Wall. Including archival footage from Michael’s personal collection plus interviews with contemporary talents and family members.

Walking Through Time More 4, 18:55 Until 450,000 years ago, Britain was linked to continental Europe by a massive chalk land bridge crossed by mammoths and even early humans. But a mega flood of extraordinary proportions shattered the land bridge in a one-in-a-million-years catastrophic event, helping Britain to become an island. Dr Tori Herridge journeys back in time to see the evidence for this geological catastrophe. She starts on the coast of Norfolk, to discover what life was like before the ancient mega flood. She meets an amateur palaeontologist who uncovered the biggest complete mammoth skeleton ever found and sees the 850,000-year-old footprints left by a family of early humans and amazingly preserved in mud. Then she heads to Kent and the white cliffs of Dover to see how the mega flood happened and how it changed the shape of Britain forever, and to join the first ever oceanographic expedition that’s been able to film the evidence for this prehistoric cataclysm on the bed of the English Channel.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

W C choice

06:15 ..................... How I Met Your Mother

06:00..................... Peppa Pig

06:40........................... King of Queens

06:20 .... Angelina Ballerina

07:05 ........................... King of Queens 07:30 ...........................Mobil 1 The Grid 08:00 .................... Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30..................... Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 ................The Morning Line 10:00 ............... The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ............... The Big Bang Theory 11:00 .................................. The Superhumans Show 11:30 ......................... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 12:30 .....................Formula 1 14:15..........................Channel 4 Racing

06:05. Bananas in Pajamas 06:30.......... Bob the Builder 06:45 ...................Tickety Toc 06:55 .........Zack and Quack 07:05 ................Roobarb and Custard Too 07:15 ...............Make Way for Noddy 07:30 ....................Paw Patrol 07:40 ............. Little Princess

08:35............ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:45........... Wanda and the Alien 08:55 .............The Fairly Odd Parents 09:13 .............The Fairly Odd Parents

13:10 ..............................Police Interceptors

18:00.............. Come Dine with Me

17:00............ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

18:30...................Channel 4 News

18:00..........................Five News Update

01:00................Hollyoaks Omnibus

11:00............... Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

07:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

12:30....................The Almost Impossible Gameshow

08:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

13:25........................Scorpion

09:00........................... The Bill

14:25.................. You’ve Been Framed!

10:00........................... The Bill

15:30............ Legally Blonde

12:00........................... The Bill

22:00 ................ Celebrity Juice Live

11:00........................... The Bill 13:00........................... The Bill 14:00.....................EastEnders Omnibus 16:30........ EastEnders: Ricky and Bianca

11:30 ...............Four in a Bed 12:05 ...............Four in a Bed 13:40 ............ Vet on the Hill 14:40 ................ Stonehenge: Walking Through History 15:45.....The Lakes: Walking Through History 16:50.......Cornwall: Walking Through History 17:50........ Walking Through History 18:55...............Walking Through Time

CW

choice

17:10................. Doctor Who

20:00......... Coastal Walks with My Dog

19:00............Doctor Who

21:00.................Downhill

00:35.......American Dad!

21:00.................. National Security

23:05............ Walking the Himalayas

01:05.......American Dad!

23:00..... The Musketeers

01:30.............@Elevenish

00:15............Doctor Who

01:10......... Coastal Walks with My Dog

06:00 ...........Modern Family 08:00 .........Game Changers 08:30 ................Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 09:00 ..................The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 ................. Soccer A.M. 12:00 ...............The F1 Show 12:30 ............Kung Fu Panda Special 13:00 ........Flintoff’s Road to Nowhere 15:00.. Richard Hammond’s Jungle Quest 17:00...................Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family 18:00.............Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family 19:00................The Flash 20:00......... Hawaii Five-0 21:00.................Limitless 22:00......................Arrow 23:00.......... DC’s Legends of Tomorrow

07:00 .........................Carpool 07:10 ..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:00....... American Pickers 10:00....................... Top Gear 12:00.... Storage Hunters UK 12:30.... Storage Hunters UK 14:00 ...... American Pickers 15:00....... American Pickers 16:00 .......................Top Gear 17:00 ................... Blackadder the Third 17:40.................... Blackadder the Third 19:00............Dangerman 20:00............................ QI 22:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:00............Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled 00:00.... Russell Howard’s Good News 01:00....................... QI XL

23:00............. Family Guy 23:35............. Family Guy 00:00............. Family Guy

12:10..... The Gadget Show

16:00............ Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

CW

11:00 ...............Four in a Bed

09:55................... Time Team

11:40...................... Fail Army

17:30.................... Come Dine with Me

choice

06:35 ............... Walking with Dinosaurs

09:30................ The Saturday Show Live

15:00 ........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

00:05................. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

08:35....... Coronation Street Omnibus

19:40.......... The Mummy

17:00.................... Come Dine with Me

22:00............Kick-Ass 2

08:50....................Time Team

08:10............... Blaze and the Monster Machines

14:05 ........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

19:40..........The Day After Tomorrow

06:10 ............... Walking with Dinosaurs

17:25....... Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous

16:30.................... Come Dine with Me

18:45............. The World’s Weirdest Weather

06:00 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus

07:50...................... Pip Ahoy!

18:05........................NCIS: Los Angeles 19:00........................NCIS: New Orleans 20:00........................NCIS 20:55.....................5 News Weekend 21:00.. The Championship 22:00...............Goal Rush 22:30........................NCIS 00:10..........Super Casino

25 CW

05:00 ....... Live Australian GP: Qualifying 07:45 ............................Sporting Triumphs 08:00 ...........Game Changers 08:30 ........................Nick Kicks 09:00..................... The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 .....................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ............................Football 14:45................. Australian GP 15:55........... Ted’s Notebook Qualifying 16:25 ......Sporting Triumphs 16:40 ......Sporting Triumphs 17:00 .......Live Ford Saturday Night Football 20:00 ............SNF: Game of the Day 22:00...SNF: Match Choice 23:30...SNF: Match Choice 01:00...SNF: Match Choice

Kick-Ass 2 Channel 4, 22:00

Action-fantasy comedy.

Aaron Taylor- Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Christopher MintzPlasse star in the equally brutally violent and foulmouthed sequel to Kick-Ass, this time with writerdirector Jeff Wadlow at the helm.

It’s four years on from the violent conclusion to the first movie, and Dave Lizewski and Mindy Macready have supposedly retired their crime-fighting alter egos, respectively KickAss and Hit-Girl.

But in reality they are still training together... until their closeness causes Dave’s girlfriend to dump him and Mindy’s guardian Marcus makes her promise to concentrate on schooling instead. But fate decrees that they will have to reach once again for their costumes, because teen mobster Chris D’Amico, now operating as The M o t h e r f u c k e r, puts together his own gang and vows vengeance on the superheroes for killing his father.

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W C choice

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TV Guide

Tribes, Predators & Me BBC2, 21.00

Wildlife cameraman Gordon Buchanan travels to the remotest regions on three continents to join three tribal families, learning their unique traditional survival skills and how they live alongside the world’s most iconic and dangerous animals.

In the first episode, Gordon joins a Waorani tribal family in Ecuador’s remote Amazon jungle as they hunt for anacondas, the world’s largest snakes. The Waorani are some of South America’s greatest rainforest wildlife experts. Gordon has two weeks to learn this tribe’s ancient wildlife secrets. These people are masters of the forest and have learnt to live alongside animals we fear, such as jaguars and even huge anacondas.

With their help Gordon sees mysterious Amazon river dolphins and encounters a powerful jaguar. He joins the Waorani on a dangerous peccary spear hunt and as they pursue monkeys high in the forest canopy, using blow pipes and poison darts. He sees how the women garden within the forest and how they befriend wild animals such as monkeys, parrots and even huge tapirs.

The greatest challenge for Gordon and the tribe is to catch and release a giant anaconda. This is the Amazon’s most dangerous animal, a proven man-eater, but one the Waorani believe gives them great spiritual power. But there is also a scientific reason for the capture - the Waorani are losing their land to oil exploration and they are working with a scientist to test these huge snakes for oil pollution - if only they can catch one.

18th March - 24th March 2016

Sun 20th mar

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 07:40 ...... Match of the Day 09:00 ................. The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 .... The Big Questions 11:00 .......... Sunday Politics 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 .....................BBC News 13:15 ..........The Sport Relief Games Show 2016 15:15 ................... A Question of Sport 15:45............... Escape to the Country 16:30.......................... Lifeline 16:40.......... Songs of Praise 17:15...Sport Relief 2016: CW The Best Bits choice 18:15.............. BBC News 18:35 .BBC London News 18:45 ............Countryfile CW 19:45.......The Voice UK choice 21:00 ............... The Night Manager 22:00............... BBC News 22:20.BBC London News 22:30.. Match of the Day 2 23:55................. Athletics 01:25...... Weather for the Week Ahead 01:30............... BBC News

06:00.......... This is BBC Two 06:15 .........An Island Parish 07:15 .......This Farming Life 08:15 ...... Gardeners’ World 08:45 .................. Countryfile 09:45 ........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:15...The Best Dishes Ever 12:15 .............. MOTD2 Extra 13:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 14:00............... Heir Hunters 15:00 ....................... Athletics 17:00 ...........................Flog It! 17:30 ..... The Secret History of My Family 18:30......Perry and Croft: Made in Britain 19:00..... Gareth Malone’s Great Choir Reunion 20:00.... World’s Weirdest Events

06:00.......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:15.......... Bottom Knocker Street 06:25...........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 06:35...........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 06:45 .............. Share a Story 06:50 .............................Sooty 07:05 ......................... Super 4 07:15......................... Looped 07:30.................. Scrambled!

07:35....................... Mr. Bean 07:50 ...............Horrid Henry 08:10 ..................... Nerds and Monsters 08:30.... Bear Grylls Survival School 09:05.................The Tom and Jerry Show 09:25 ...................... ITV News

21:00.Tribes, Predators W 09:30........................... Murder, C She Wrote and Me choice 10:25 . . ........................

Murder, 22:00................. Thirteen She Wrote 23:00 ............. The People 11:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle v OJ Simpson: American Show Crime Story 23:50........... Line of Duty 00:50........... Line of Duty 01:50.............Countryfile

12:25............... ITV News and Weather

12:35....................The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:40............River Monsters

The Voice UK BBC1, 19:45

The Story of Cats ITV1, 20.00 The series sets out to offer an eye-opening and entertaining insight into the relationship between big cats in the wild and our domestic pussycats and the feline species’ journey from the jungles of South East Asia to the African savannah and ultimately into our homes.

The Story of Cats features the passion and expertise of cat lovers from South African Kevin Richardson whose faith in his understanding of cat communication enables him to play with lions to the Brit who helps rear the rarest of cats in Thailand.

Focusing on the unique characteristics of different types of cat, from the speed of the cheetah to the sociability of the lion, the series demonstrates how similar our pets are to the fearsome big cats, in much of the familiar behaviour that fascinates, puzzles and amuses cat owners, including the sounds they make, the way they play and their hunting techniques. The series also uncovers just how successful the species is at adapting even in the most extreme landscapes; be it the Hollywood Hills or surviving in temperatures of minus 40 degrees. And, it will shed light on how domestic cats are still evolving and will in the future become less wild, and more mild.

Cats are said to hate water, crave warmth and only eat meat. But in episode three, Super Cats, viewers are introduced to the wild cats that break all the feline rules. From jaguars with sub-aqua skills to tigers that can survive temperatures of minus forty, the programme reveals how cats have developed super powers to survive in the most unlikely landscapes. As well as the iconic big cats, in this final episode viewers get a glimpse into the lives of the most rare and strange cats of all – including a real-life Garfield recently discovered living high in the Himalayas. It’s revealed how the cats’ ability to adapt to extremes has made them some of the most successful predators on the planet.

Martha Holmes and Grant Mansfield are Executive Producers for Plimsoll Productions.

Knockouts 2.

Emma Willis and Marvin Humes present the second of the knockout rounds. The coaches watch each of their contestants perform and must choose the best acts from their team to continue on to the live shows. It is now the artists who take control - they must each choose one ‘killer song’ that they think will give them the best chance to impress their coach. Tensions and adrenaline run high as the artists give the performances of their lives to make it through the knockouts and on to the live shows.

14:40.........................Big Star’s Little Star 15:40........Off Their Rockers 16:10.................... Octopussy 18:35.. ITV News London 18:45..........ITV News and Weather 19:00..... Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands 20:00.The Story of Cats

CW

choice

21:00....... Doctor Thorne

22:05..........ITV News and Weather 22:20..................... Rugby 23:20......................Rugby Highlights 00:15............ Jackpot247

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

27 CW

W C choice 06:10........... How I Met Your Mother 06:35............ How I Met Your Mother 07:00.........Everybody Loves Raymond 07:25.........Everybody Loves Raymond 07:50............................ Frasier 08:15 ........................... Frasier 08:40........................... Frasier

06:00................Children’s TV

06:00 ..............The Hot Desk

06:10.............. Bondi Rescue

08:55 ...River Cottage Bites

08:30............ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

06:10 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

06:35...............Bondi Rescue

09:25.................... Come Dine with Me

08:50 ...................Wanda and the Alien

07:00 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus

09:00....... My Dream Home

09:05 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus

09:50....... Coronation Street Omnibus

09:20 ...................Jelly Jamm

12:20 ................Take Me Out

09:30..................... LazyTown

13:30...The Incredible Hulk

09:55 .............The Fairly Odd Parents

15:40 .................Nim’s Island

09:10........................... The Big Bang Theory

10:30... The Championship

17:45 .............. Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 19:15.................. Liar Liar

10:30 .......... Sunday Brunch

11:30 .................... Goal Rush 12:00 ..........Chinese Food in Minutes

21:00....Ibiza Weekender

12:15...................... Madeline

22:30........... Bordertown

14:00 ............. Justin and the Knights of Valour

23:00............. Family Guy

16:00 .....A Cinderella Story

00:55.........The Cleveland Show

13:30 .....................Formula 1 16:00 .............Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters 18:00.................. Heston’s Dinner in Space 19:30...................Channel 4 News 20:00............. Great Canal Journeys 21:00... Indian Summers 22:00............ Gogglebox 23:00.......... The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 01:00......... Embarrassing Bodies 01:50.............. Come Dine with Me

18:00 ....... Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 19:00.............. Now That’s Funny!

22:00............. Family Guy

23:55.......American Dad!

01:45...... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

07:00 ..............Bondi Rescue 10:00 .......My Dream Home 11:00 .......My Dream Home 12:00.................... EastEnders Omnibus 14:30........ EastEnders: Ricky and Bianca 15:10................. Doctor Who 16:10................. Doctor Who 17:05 ................ Doctor Who 18:00........... Doctor Who 20:00......... Get Me to the Church

12:00.......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12:35....Discovering Britain 13:35............. Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 14:40................Four in a Bed 15:10................Four in a Bed 17:20.. Come Dine with Me 17:50.. Come Dine with Me 18:25.............. Come Dine with Me 20:00.................Car S.O.S

21:00.... The Musketeers

21:00......... Inside Jaguar: Making a Million Pound Car

22:15............ Who Do You Think You Are?

22:00............. 24 Hours in A and E

23:15..... Neighbourhood Blues

00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

01:10............Doctor Who

01:10.................Car S.O.S

07:10...........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green

07:30.... Sporting Triumphs

08:00 .........Motorway Cops

08:00.... Sporting Triumphs

19:55... 5 News Weekend 20:00......Penn and Teller: Fool Us in Vegas 21:00........... Tower Block 22:45.......... Harry Brown

06:00 ... The Hour of Power

00:35......................Tattoo Disasters UK

07:00 ............. RSPCA Animal Rescue

01:00..........Super Casino

08:00 ................ Monkey Life

10:00.. Storage Hunters UK

08:30................ Monkey Life

12:00.......Ice Road Truckers

09:00................... The Sunday Supplement

10:00...................... The Flash

13:00.......Ice Road Truckers

10:30........ Goals on Sunday

11:00..................... WWE Raw

14:00.................... Blackadder the Third

12:30............Live Ford Super Sunday

16:00.....................Red Dwarf 18:00.................Top Gear

15:30............Live Ford Super Sunday

19:00................... Storage Hunters UK

18:55...............Sky Sports Originals

20:00.................Top Gear

19:25..................Football

21:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You

21:30......... Ronaldo: Real Madrid’s Greatest

22:00....................... QI XL

22:00.......... Ford Football Special

12:00 ..................... Futurama 15:00........... Modern Family 17:00............. The Simpsons 17:30 .............. The Muppets 18:00...... Modern Family 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 19:00 ..... Dogs Might Fly 20:00 ............A League of Their Own 21:00......... Hawaii Five-0 22:00..NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00.......Air Ambulance 00:00............... The Force: Manchester 01:00 ............. Road Wars

23:00................ Parks and Recreation 00:00.... Russell Howard’s Good News

07:45.... Sporting Triumphs

23:30...............Sky Sports Originals

01:00..... 8 Out of 10 Cats

00:00..... Football League Goals

01:50.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You

01:00.......... Ford Football Special

Sport Relief 2016: The Best Bits BBC1, 17:15

Another chance to see all the best moments from an incredible night of TV as the biggest stars come together to raise money for Sport Relief. Highlights include Michael Crawford donning his beret for the first time in nearly 40 years as Frank Spencer in a special edition of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em with Sir Bradley Wiggins. David Walliams and Peter Crouch team up in a special Little Britain. Idris Elba stars alongside Lenny Henry and a host of sport stars in a oneoff Luther. Jack Whitehall has an encounter with football superstar Gareth Bale, and Jo Brand, Eddie Izzard, and Greg James relive their fundraising challenges. The event comes from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as Andrew Flintoff and Sir Steve Redgrave captain two teams of celebrities in a sporting competition featuring events at the VeloPark, Aquatics Centre and Copper Box.

CW 28

W C choice

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

Think Tank BBC1, 14.15

Bill Turnbull hosts this brand new Daytime quiz for BBC One. Having spent 15 years presenting from the BBC Breakfast sofa, Bill Turnbull is returning to BBC One - minus his early morning alarm call - to host this brand new quiz each afternoon.

Think Tank sees three contestants compete to win a cash prize, aided by a regular group of ‘helpers’ selected from across the nation, who together make up the Think Tank.

Ahead of each show the regular cast, who comprise the Think Tank, will answer hundreds of general knowledge questions. Their answers form the quiz, and will hopefully prove more of a help than a hindrance to the three contestants who are trying to answer the questions correctly. The quiz will be challenging and the contestants will have to decide when to use the Think Tank’s suggested answers.

After their knowledge has been tested to the max, the winning contestant then faces ‘Question: Impossible’, a question which stumped the entire Think Tank. Using their wrong answers to eliminate obvious errors, can the contestant go one better and win the cash prize?

The regular group who make up the Think Tank, includes: Max, a recent graduate with a love of literature; Anisha, an Office Assistant who admits to being an online shopaholic; Tristan, a professional icehockey player and part-time model; doctor Abi, who admits to always losing everything on holiday and missing flights; Peter, a pizza waiter, who goes the extra mile to entertain his customers; Lucy, an energetic dance teacher; Cleve, a musician , previously a church minister; Diane, a retired HR Manager with a love of wigs; Jackie, a grandmother who loves cruises; Arminel, a long-standing chemistry teacher and Eurovision fan; Len, a retired Welshman who runs a gardening club; and finally, Ken, a retired holiday rep who is very active running a social club for OAPs.

Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme ITV1, 21.00

18th March - 24th March 2016

Mon 21st mar 06:00 ...................... Breakfast

06:00 ............... Heir Hunters

09:15 ............... Heir Hunters

06:45...Show Me the Monet

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain

10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

07:30...Caught Red Handed

08:30 ........................ Lorraine

08:00.....Emergency Rescue Down Under

09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed

08:30....... Gardeners’ World

10:30 .............. This Morning

09:00... Victoria Derbyshire

12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt

12:30............ Loose Women

11:00....BBC Newsroom Live

13:00 ...... BBC News at One

12:00........The Daily Politics

13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News

13:30 ....BBC London News

13:00.............................. Coast

14:00.............. Judge Rinder

13:45 .........................Doctors

13:20........................ Athletics

14:15.................Think Tank

14:20........ The Doctor Blake Mysteries

15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal

11:00 ......... Call the Council

CW choice

15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30 ...........................Flog It!

15:15...Britain’s Lost Routes with Griff Rhys Jones 16:15.The Best Dishes Ever

17:15 .......................Pointless

16:45.......Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip

18:00 .... BBC News at Six

17:15....Antiques Road Trip

18:30.BBC London News

18:00............... Eggheads

19:00 .......The One Show

18:30.......... Too Much TV

19:30........... Fake Britain

19:00...This Farming Life

20:00............ EastEnders

20:00............... University Challenge

20:30.............. Panorama 21:00............. New Tricks

20:30.....An Island Parish

22:30... BBC London News

21:00...... The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

22:45 .................. Cuckoo

21:50 ...................... QI XL

22:00.... BBC News at Ten

16:00...............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..............Coronation Street 20:00...........Further Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green 20:30..............Coronation Street 21:00.....Davina Mccall: Life at the Extreme

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choice

22:00...... ITV News at Ten 23:15........ Have I Got Old 22:30 .............Newsnight In the final episode of the series, Davina travels to the Costa Rican and Weather News for You jungle, one of the wettest places on earth, a habitat in which animals 23:15 ......Kipling’s Indian 22:45..........The Agenda CW 23:45.. Live at the Apollo thrive. Even with near 100 per cent humidity, and being less than a Adventure choice quarter of the size of the UK, it’s home to a staggering 500,000 species 23:25..........The Jonathan 00:30...... Weather for the 00:15....... Question Time of life.

Ross Show Week Ahead 01:15.......... The Celebrity It’s here in the rainforest that Davina meets one its most secretive 00:20............ Jackpot247 00:35............... BBC News Apprentice USA animals, the sloth, and discovers that they have the slowest digestive rate of any mammal, though that’s actually the perfect solution to the tough, low calorie content of the rainforest plants they eat.

The sloth’s sedate way of life (they even blink slowly) means that they must rely on stealthy movement and camouflage to avoid predators, and with hook-like claws to hang from the branches, they are built for a life in the trees. Davina also discovers that the direction in which the sloth’s fur grows is conducive with keeping their core dry, even in the wettest of conditions.

After a nervous ride in a tiny airplane to the Corcovado National Park, Davina arrives in the heart of the Osa peninsula where local guide Roger Muñoz introduces her to the Poison Dart frogs, known for their vivid warning colours that advertise their poisonous skin, some toxic enough to stop a human heart.

Davina also comes close to a large species of tarantula that kill their prey by effectively using their venom to melt the body before drinking the juice, and the Fer-de-Lance snake, whose hemotoxic venom destroys the victim’s flesh.

Also putting in a biblical appearance is the Jesus Christ lizard, so called because of its ability to walk on water, and a group of Spider monkeys make their presence known high up in the trees as they compete for food, prompting Davina to say: “The noise when they get going, it’s so intense. It echoes around the whole jungle.“ Dusk in the rainforest sees Davina come up close to a tapir, an endangered plant-eating mammal that mostly feeds at night, so is exceptionally rare to see. Tapirs use their sensitive nose to sniff out fruit and leaves to eat, but with so much rain they also need to be totally comfortable in the water. The tapir’s trunk can actually be used as a snorkel if the rivers they are crossing are too deep.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

W C choice

06:20 ..................... How I Met Your Mother

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:00........ Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:35............... Catchphrase 10:15................ Dinner Date 11:15.................. Royal Pains 12:10.................. Emmerdale 12:45..... Coronation Street 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 19:00..........Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00............. Family Guy 21:30........... Bordertown 22:00............. Family Guy 22:30.......American Dad!

06:25..... Who Do You Think You Are? 07:20................... EastEnders 08:00................... MasterChef Australia 09:00................. Humble Pie 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00.... Beverly Hills Pawn 17:00 .......My Dream Home 18:00........ Tipping Point 19:00 ........ Tipping Point 20:00 ................. Heston’s Fantastical Food 21:00..........Get Me to the Church 22:00............. EastEnders 22:40.....Stacey Dooley in the USA 23:40..........Get Me to the Church

08:55...... Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

06:45 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:10 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:30.............. Fireman Sam

07:35 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:50..................... Peppa Pig

11:45.........Home and Away

06:00 ..........................Sunrise

13:15.........Home and Away

06:30.......................... Sunrise

07:00.................... Rocket City Rednecks

13:45..................Neighbours

09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

14:15.... NCIS: New Orleans

10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

15:15....The Boy Next Door

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

17:00...................5 News at 5

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

17:30..................Neighbours

15:00 .. The Holidaymakers

20:00 ............ Dispatches

18:00.... Home and Away

16:00 ..................... Futurama

20:30................ The Food Chain

18:30...... 5 News Tonight

16:30 ..................... Futurama

19:00.......Weather Terror

17:00............. The Simpsons

20:00.......................Police Interceptors

17:30 ..................... Futurama

21:00..... The Tube: Going Underground

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

22:00.................. Gotham

20:30...... Modern Family

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00 .................... WWE Raw 08:00....... Goals on Sunday 09:00 ............... Ford Football Special 10:30.......... Football League Goals 11:30.............. Football Gold 12:30.......... Football League Goals 13:30........ Goals on Sunday 14:30.......... Football League Goals 15:30..........Game Changers 16:00..........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 16:30.........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 17:30.......... Football League Goals 18:30.... Barclays Premier League Review 19:30.............Live Netball Superleague 21:30......SPFL Round Up 22:00..... Football League Goals

08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:35 ........................... Frasier 10:00....................... Car S.O.S 11:00 ............Shipping Wars 11:30 ............Shipping Wars 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05............... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 13:10................A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10........................... Deal or No Deal 15:10 .................Countdown 16:00 ................A New Life in the Sun 17:00..............Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 ..................Channel 4 News

21:00 .............Royal Navy School 22:00 ............ Fresh Meat 22:50 ............. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:50............. 24 Hours in A and E 00:50................ Alan Carr: Chatty Man 01:45.............Undercover Boss USA

29 CW

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

06:40......................... Wissper 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:10............. Little Princess 07:20.......... Bob the Builder 07:35................. Thomas and Friends 07:50...... Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 09:00.................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

09:35.......Food Unwrapped 10:05....Come Dine with Me 11:10................Four in a Bed 11:45................Four in a Bed 12:15................Four in a Bed 12:50................Four in a Bed 13:25...................Four in a Bed 13:55....Come Dine with Me 14:25....Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun 18:50......... The Supervet 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00........ Vet on the Hill 22:00............. 24 Hours in A and E 23:05.....................40 Year Old Virgins 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10........ Vet on the Hill

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff 11:15...................... Fail Army 11:40........................... 5 News Lunchtime

22:55.................Person of Interest

18:00............... Futurama 20:00 .........The Muppets 21:00.....An Idiot Abroad

07:20.......Ice Road Truckers 08:10....... American Pickers 09:00....... American Pickers 10:00........................Top Gear 12:00.. Storage Hunters UK 14:00....... American Pickers 15:00....... American Pickers 16:00........................Top Gear 17:00........................Top Gear 18:00...American Pickers 20:00...............Room 101 20:40...............Room 101 21:20...... Mock the Week 22:00........ Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish

23:55.................Person of Interest

22:00................ Football’s Funniest Moments

00:45.....True Crimes: The First 72 Hours

23:00.................Limitless

00:10............................ QI

00:00......... Hawaii Five-0

00:50............................ QI

01:00......... Hawaii Five-0

01:30... Last Man on Earth

01:10..........Super Casino

23:00. Last Man on Earth 23:30............................ QI

The Agenda ITV1, 22.45

The Agenda features ITV News at Ten presenter Tom Bradby discussing the big issues of the week with four high-profile guests in front of a studio audience at The Hospital Club in central London.

Guests during the series will include leading political figures as well as the biggest names from the world of entertainment, arts, culture and journalism.

Each Monday Tom and his guests look at the big issues of the week ahead – from the European referendum and taxing sugary foods to the US elections, the Oscars and other cultural issues.

Guests in previous series include David Cameron, Nick Clegg, Ed Miliband, George Osborne, Harriet Harman, Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson, Hugh Grant, Bettany Hughes, Michelle Mone, David Baddiel, Sir Patrick Stewart, Fiona Shaw, Clive Anderson Mariella Frostrup and Michael Morpurgo.

CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

Tue 22nd Mar 06:00...................... Breakfast 09:15 ............... Heir Hunters 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00......... Call the Council 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15.............. Bargain Hunt 13:00...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15................... Think Tank 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45................... The TV That Made Me 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00..... BBC News at Six 18:30.BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 19:30............. EastEnders 20:00.............. Holby City 21:00..........The A Word

CW

choice

22:00.... BBC News at Ten

22:30... BBC London News 22:45.......The Battle for W C Christianity choice 23:45. Shop Well for Less 00:45...... Weather for the Week Ahead 00:50............... BBC News

W C choice

06:00 .Show Me the Monet 06:45 ......... Talking Pictures 07:30.Caught Red Handed 08:00.... Emergency Rescue Down Under 08:30..................Great British Railway Journeys 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00..BBC Newsroom Live 12:00........The Daily Politics 13:00.............................. Coast 13:05...................... The Super League Show 13:50...............Portillo’s State Secrets 14:20........ The Doctor Blake Mysteries 15:15........... Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones 16:15...The Best Dishes Ever 16:45.......Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 17:15....Antiques Road Trip 18:00............... Eggheads 18:30.......... Too Much TV 19:00...This Farming Life 20:00........... Mary Berry’s Easter Feast 21:00....... Inside Obama’s White House 22:00............... Scrappers 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15.................. Horizon

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30............. Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 .............. Judge Rinder 15:00.................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00................. ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30........The Inspectors are Coming 20:00........ It’s Not Rocket Science 21:00.......Speeding Wars 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40........Saudi Arabia W C Uncovered - choice Exposure 23:45 ....... Davina Mccall: Life at the Extreme 00:35............ Jackpot247

The A Word BBC1, 21.00

In the idyllic landscape of the Lake District, Paul and Alison Hughes are building a life for themselves and their two children: teenage daughter Rebecca (from Alison’s first marriage) and five-year-old son Joe. Joe is a music lover who’s rarely without his headphones; to some he’s a little eccentric, to others he’s a little odd. But when Alison’s brother Eddie and his wife Nicola return to the family home to rebuild their broken marriage, they become the first people brave enough to suggest that Joe’s problems run deeper. The moment Nicola says the unsayable, family patriarch Maurice expresses his own concerns for his grandson.

And when Joe is finally diagnosed with autism, the whole family finds itself in an unfamiliar and unpredictable world.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

31 CW

W C choice 06:00 .................Countdown

06:00............. The Wotwots!

06:45.................................. The Goldbergs

06:10............. Chloe’s Closet

07:10................................... The Goldbergs

06:20........... Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam

07:35................................... The Goldbergs

06:40 .........................Wissper

08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

07:20.......... Bob the Builder

06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 07:10............. Little Princess

09:00........................... Frasier

07:35................. Thomas and Friends

09:30........................... Frasier

07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

10:00 .......................Car S.O.S 11:00............ Shipping Wars

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:30.............Shipping Wars

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

12:00.......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

12:05................A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

13:10 ...............A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

09:00 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

14:10 ........................... Deal or No Deal

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

15:10................. Countdown

12:10.....5 News Lunchtime

16:00 .................... A New Life in the Sun

12:15............ The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

17:00..............Couples Come Dine with Me

13:15.........Home and Away

18:00 ....... The Simpsons

14:15 ............................... NCIS

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

15:15 .. The Wrong Woman

19:00...................Channel 4 News

17:00.................. 5 News at 5

20:00 ...............Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners

18:00.... Home and Away

21:00 ................One Born Every Minute

20:00.......Britain’s Horror Homes

22:00 .............First Dates 23:05........ Million Pound Jewellers 00:10...... Poker Stars and Monte-Carlo Casino Ept Grand Final 01:05...........KOTV Boxing Weekly 01:30.................... Gillette World Sport

W C choice

08:35 ....................Paw Patrol

06:00.........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 .....Coronation Street 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35....................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00........ The Break-Up 23:10 ............ Family Guy 00:10 ......American Dad! 01:05 ...............Two and a Half Men

11:15 .......Cowboy Builders

13:45 .................Neighbours

17:30................. Neighbours 18:30...... 5 News Tonight 19:00 .Police Interceptors

21:00....... Benefits by the Sea: Jaywick 22:00.................. The Best of Bad TV 23:00......Penn and Teller: Fool Us in Vegas 23:55.............. Gypsies on Benefits and Proud 00:50......................Tattoo Disasters UK 01:15..........Super Casino

06:25..... Who Do You Think You Are? 07:20 ...................EastEnders 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 ................. Humble Pie 10:00.......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00..... Beverly Hills Pawn 17:00........My Dream Home 18:00......... Tipping Point 20:00.................. Heston’s Fantastical Food 21:00.................... Grimm 22:00............. EastEnders 22:40..........Get Me to the Church 23:40..... Neighbourhood Blues 00:40.................... Grimm

08:55...................... Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 09:35.......Food Unwrapped 10:05.. Come Dine with Me 11:10................Four in a Bed 11:45................Four in a Bed 12:15................Four in a Bed 13:55....Come Dine with Me 14:25....Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun 17:45......A Place in the Sun 18:50......... The Supervet 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 22:00.... World’s Weirdest Homes 23:40............. 24 Hours in A and E 00:45... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:40........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

07:00 ................... Rocket City Rednecks

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00 ...WWE SmackDown!

08:00 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 09:00..........Barclays Premier League Review 10:00 ............... BPL Legends 11:00........ Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 12:00........... Premier League 100 Club 12:30...........SPFL Round Up 13:00..........Barclays Premier League Review 14:00...................The Premier League Years 16:00..........Barclays Premier League Review 17:00............... Super League Fulltime 17:30........... Premier League 100 Club 18:00..... Premier League 18:30.... Barclays Premier League Review 19:30............... MLS Goals Round Up 20:00.....Fantasy Football Club Highlights

06:00.......................... Sunrise 06:30 ..........................Sunrise 09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 15:00 .......... All Aboard: East Coast Trains 16:00 ..................... Futurama 16:30..................... Futurama 17:00............. The Simpsons 17:30..................... Futurama 18:00............... Futurama 18:30........ The Simpsons 19:00........ The Simpsons 20:00............... The Flash 21:00........... Ross Kemp’s Britain 22:00.... Childhood’s End 00:00......... Hawaii Five-0 01:00......... Hawaii Five-0

Saudi Arabia Uncovered - Exposure ITV1, 22.40

“No country is the perfect ally, perfect partner, without any reservations whatsoever. So, you know, welcome to the real world. Welcome to the premier league.” - General David Petraeus, former CIA director This new documentary in ITV’s Exposure current affairs strand goes undercover to reveal the hidden reality inside one of the world’s most secretive and strict Islamic regimes.

Saudi Arabia is a key ally of the West, but with unprecedented access to an underground network of young activists, this film uncovers a society where opposition is beginning to find its voice.

Covertly-shot footage sheds a light on largely unseen corners of life in the Kingdom, where media access is very strictly controlled. Revealed in the footage are prisons in chaos, poverty on the streets, and religious police enforcing fundamentalism.

07:20......................... Ice Road Truckers 08:10 ...... American Pickers 10:00 .......................Top Gear 11:00 .......................Top Gear 12:00.... Storage Hunters UK 12:30.... Storage Hunters UK 14:00....... American Pickers 15:00....... American Pickers 16:00........................Top Gear 17:00........................Top Gear 18:00...American Pickers 19:00...American Pickers 20:00............................ QI 22:00...... Mock the Week 22:40...... Mock the Week 23:20....................... QI XL 00:20.... Russell Howard’s Good News 01:40...... Mock the Week

The Battle For Christianity BBC1, 22.45

The Battle For Christianity is about a more confident, assertive faith replacing traditional churches in the UK. Professor Robert Beckford (pictured) looks at how immigration, radical social action, conservative morality and charismatic worship are all transforming the face of the faith, and asks what that might mean for the future in an increasingly secular society.

Some academics are warning that popular churches who take a firm line on issues like gay marriage, abortion and euthanasia are pushing Christianity farther away from the attitudes of mainstream society.

Others believe that the fervour of charismatic faith is attracting large numbers, but ignoring a quiet exodus out of the back door. Robert Beckford speaks to church leaders in the UK, including the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, about how they see the future.

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TV Guide

MasterChef BBC1, 20:00

18th March - 24th March 2016

W ednesday

A new series of the cookery competition begins as John Torode and Gregg Wallace return to the judging table on the hunt for the twelfth MasterChef champion. Out of the hundreds that auditioned, forty amateur cooks are through to battle it out over four weeks of heats, producing some of the most inspiring, exceptional and unusual food ever seen on the series. In this episode, the first five hopefuls try to prove to judges John Torode and Gregg Wallace that they have the potential to be the 2016 MasterChef champion.

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ............... Heir Hunters 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ......... Call the Council 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45......................... Doctors 14:15 ................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .................. The TV That Made Me 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30............ BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 20:00.........MasterChef

Employable Me BBC2, 21:00 Britain’s most extraordinary job seekers look to prove that having a neurological condition shouldn’t make them unemployable.

Up until six years ago, 52-year-old Paul was a normal dad doing a nine to five. Now Paul has the most severe case of Tourette’s syndrome you will probably ever see. Against all the odds and with the help of leading scientists, Paul uncovers extraordinary talents that could allow him to provide for his family once again. But to have the chance of success, he has to put himself in very uncomfortable - and sometimes dangerous - positions. 34-year-old Brett has autism and has been rejected from every job he has applied for over the past eight years. After visiting Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, a world-renowned expert on autism, Brett’s true hidden genius is revealed. And when Brett finally gets the chance to showcase his autistic gifts to a potential employer, something truly remarkable unfolds.

CW

choice

21:00....... Inside Europe’s Terror Attacks 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:30............ BBC London News 22:45..............A Question of Sport

23:15....................Would I Lie to You? 23:45....... Wedding Daze 01:15...... Weather for the Week Ahead 01:20............... BBC News

06:00...Show Me the Monet 06:45.......... Talking Pictures 07:30.Caught Red Handed 08:00.....Emergency Rescue Down Under 08:30.... Great British Menu 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00..BBC Newsroom Live 11:30........The Daily Politics 13:00.............................. Coast 13:10........................... Lifeline 13:20.... The Chef’s Protege 13:50...............Portillo’s State Secrets 14:20........ The Doctor Blake Mysteries 15:15........... Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones 16:15...The Best Dishes Ever 16:45.......Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 17:15....Antiques Road Trip 18:00............... Eggheads 18:30.......... Too Much TV 19:00...This Farming Life 20:00.................. Horizon CW 21:00...Employable Me choice 22:00.Live From the BBC 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15....... Inside Obama’s White House 00:15...Land of Hope and Glory - British Country Life 01:15.......... Famous, Rich and Homeless

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ..............................Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 .............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00...............Tipping Point 17:00.................... The Chase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 .............Coronation Street 20:00................ Big Star’s Little Star 21:00..........Grantchester 22:00............. ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:45............. Bear Grylls: Mission Survive 23:40....................Richard Wilson on the Road 00:10............ Jackpot247

24 Hours in A and E Channel 4, 21:00 The RTS award-winning documentary series continues. It follows patients treated in the same 24-hour period at St George’s Hospital in south west London, which has one of the most advanced and busiest A&E departments in the world; a place where stories of life, love and loss unfold every day. Thirteen-year-old Tom is rushed to St George’s after crashing his bike head first into a parked car while racing a friend. Half of Tom’s face is badly swollen and doctors are concerned that the impact could have caused internal injuries. They order a CT scan to assess if he’s suffered life-changing injuries, including a bleed on the brain, while specialists decide whether he will need emergency surgery to his face. Tom’s mum Fiona talks about his dramatic early birth shortly after her own mother died from Parkinson’s. Andy, who’s 26, arrives at A&E after injuring his knee during a game of Frisbee with his best friend Sam.

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TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

ednesday

2 3 rd

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet 06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30.............. Fireman Sam

07:35.................................. The Goldbergs

06:40 .........................Wissper

08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond

06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond

07:20 ..........Bob the Builder

06:50..................... Peppa Pig 07:10 ............. Little Princess

09:00 ........................... Frasier

07:35 .................Thomas and Friends

09:30............................ Frasier

07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

10:00....................... Car S.O.S

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:00............ Shipping Wars 11:30 ............Shipping Wars 12:00.......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05....................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 13:10....................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10............................ Deal or No Deal 15:10..................Countdown 16:00.................A New Life in the Sun 17:00..............Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30............... Hollyoaks 19:00...................Channel 4 News 20:00......... The Supervet 21:00..........24 Hours in A and E

CW choice

22:00................ Raised by Wolves 22:35............. Gogglebox 23:35............Plus Sized Wars

CW

choice

00:35................ Live From Abbey Road Classics 01:05............... The Secret Millionaire

M arch CW

choice

06:00 .................Countdown

07:10 .................................. The Goldbergs

33 CW

08:15..................... Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 09:00................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:15........ The Wright Stuff

06:00 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30 .You’ve Been Framed and Famous!

09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 ...............Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 19:00 .........Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00.... The Back-Up Pla 23:10 ............ Family Guy 00:10.......American Dad!

06:25 ..... Who Do You Think You Are?

08:55 ......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

07:20 ...................EastEnders

09:35.......Food Unwrapped

08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia

10:05............Celebrity Come Dine with Me

09:00 ................. Humble Pie

11:10 ...............Four in a Bed

10:00.......................... The Bill

11:45 ...............Four in a Bed

11:00.............. Tipping Point

13:55....Come Dine with Me

13:00 .......My Dream Home

14:25....Come Dine with Me

14:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are?

16:40......A Place in the Sun

13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15..... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:15................. Mystery Girl 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away 18:30...... 5 News Tonight 19:00....... The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 20:00............ GPs: Behind Closed Doors

06:00 ..........................Sunrise 06:30 ..........................Sunrise 09:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles 10:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 14:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 15:00.......... All Aboard: East Coast Trains 16:00 ..................... Futurama 17:00 .............The Simpsons 17:30..................... Futurama

22:00.......Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

18:30........ The Simpsons

22:55...................Botched Up Bodies

20:00 .....................Arrow

00:50......................Tattoo Disasters UK

21:00.............Discovering Britain

20:00.................. Heston’s Fantastical Food

22:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

21:00..... The Honourable Woman

23:05............. 24 Hours in A and E

22:10............. Code Black 23:10...Gavin and Stacey

00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

00:30..... Neighbourhood Blues

01:10.............Discovering Britain

01:30............Doctor Who

21:00.............. Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords

23:55....... Benefits by the Sea: Jaywick

19:55 ...... Grand Designs

18:00........ Tipping Point

12:10... 5 News Lunchtime

13:15 ........Home and Away

18:50......... The Supervet

17:00....... My Dream Home

11:15....... Cowboy Builders 12:15........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

17:45......A Place in the Sun

16:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn

18:00............... Futurama 19:00........ The Simpsons 21:00 ................Limitless 22:00 ..............Ascension 00:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0 01:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

07:00.................... Rocket City Rednecks

06:00.............. Football Gold

07:20.......Ice Road Truckers

08:00..........Fantasy Football Club Highlights

08:10....... American Pickers 09:00....... American Pickers

07:00........WWE Experience

10:00........................Top Gear

08:30........... Premier League 100 Club

11:00........................Top Gear

09:00.............. Football Gold

12:00.... Storage Hunters UK

10:00..........Fantasy Football Club Highlights

14:00....... American Pickers 15:00....... American Pickers 16:00........................Top Gear 17:00........................Top Gear 18:00...American Pickers 19:00...American Pickers

10:30........... Premier League 100 Club 11:00.........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 12:00....La Liga World 2015

20:00...... Sin City Motors

12:30..........Fantasy Football Club Highlights

21:00....................... QI XL

13:00.... Sporting Triumphs

22:00....................... QI XL

14:00....La Liga World 2015

23:00...... Mock the Week 23:40...... Mock the Week

14:30..........Fantasy Football Club Highlights

00:20.. Would I Lie to You?

15:00....................Live Tennis

01:00.... Russell Howard’s Good News

01:30..................Sporting Greats

Plus Sized Wars Channel 4, 23:35

The plus size fashion industry is one of the fastest growing corners of the retail market. This Cutting Edge documentary has exclusive access to some of the biggest plus size brands Yours, Evans and Taking Shape as they expand rapidly, opening new shops and designing new styles for women who are suddenly liberated by having a range of clothes that are fashionable and that they want to wear. Plus Sized Wars follows the women at the heart of the plus size movement.

Witty and stylish, these Instagram stars, Callie Thorp, Dannie Vanier, Bethany Rutter and Georgina Horne, are the poster girls for ‘fatshion’.

They’re proud to show off their curves and inspire other plus sized women that they shouldn’t be restricted by their size. Being fat is vilified in the mainstream media and this online world provides a safe place for overweight women.

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TV Guide

W C choice

Line Of Duty BBC2, 21.00

The series opens with the fatal shooting of a criminal suspect by an armed response unit led by Sergeant Danny Waldron (Daniel Mays).

Danny and his team claim they acted in self-defence, but AC-12, led by Superintendent Ted Hastings (Adrian Dunbar), gather evidence that suggests that this was a deliberate killing.

Under interview, Danny confidently rebuts all of AC-12’s accusations that he acted unlawfully, so DC Kate Fleming (Vicky McClure) is sent undercover into Danny’s team to find out more.

Ingratiating herself to her new colleagues, Kate is quick to identify tensions and conflict between Danny and his team. But when Kate’s own conduct comes under scrutiny she finds herself sidelined from an armed drugs raid that goes very badly wrong.

18th March - 24th March 2016

T hursday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15............... Heir Hunters 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ......... Call the Council 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00...... BBC News at One 13:30.....BBC London News 13:45..........................Doctors 14:15 ................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45................... The TV That Made Me 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 18:30 .BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30............ EastEnders 20:00 ........... MasterChef 21:00 ........... DIY SOS The Big Build 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:30............ BBC London News

The Secret History Of My Family: The Salford Scuttlers BBC2, 20.00 Press hysteria and public panic grip 1890s Salford, as it erupts into postcode violence.

While rival gangs clash in pitched street battles, magistrate Joseph Makinson is trying to stamp out the epidemic of gang warfare, known as Scuttling. Descendants of the gang leaders and of the judge who tried to give them a taste of their own medicine tell their family stories, and ask whether violence is still part of life in working class Salford.

22:45......The Autistic Me 23:45...............This Week

W C choice

06:00...Show Me the Monet 06:45.............Talking Pictures 07:30...Caught Red Handed 08:00....... The Great Interior Design Challenge 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00..BBC Newsroom Live 12:00........The Daily Politics 13:00.............................. Coast 13:20.... The Chef’s Protege 13:50...............Portillo’s State Secrets 14:20........ The Doctor Blake Mysteries 15:15........... Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones 16:15...The Best Dishes Ever 16:45.......Terry and Mason’s Great Food Trip 17:15....Antiques Road Trip 18:00............... Eggheads 18:30.......... Too Much TV 19:00............. Big Dreams Small Spaces 20:00............The Secret CW History of My Family choice 21:00........Line of Duty CW choice 22:00...........Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15...........The Women’s Football Show 23:45......Employable Me

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30 ........................ Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 12:30............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00.............. Tipping Point 17:00.................... The Chase 18:00................. ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 ..................Tonight 20:00 ........... Emmerdale 20:30...........The Cruise

CW

choice

21:00............. Bear Grylls: Mission Survive

22:00................. ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:40.......Speeding Wars 23:40................... Murder, She Wrote

The Cruise ITV1, 20.30

Tonight staff compete to win the coveted title of employee of the month. With a top prize of $500, there are also deck privileges, tours, dinners and extra time off up for grabs. Outside, deck hand Rhymond is braving the elements to keep the ship looking pristine.

Hard at work since 5am he has his sights clearly set on the prize. “It’s big money!” he says.

Timothy is cock-a-hoop about his new job with the shore excursions team, but leaving his friends on the front desk will be hard ‘I don’t know how I’m going to leave … to be honest, cos I just can’t go a day without seeing Herbert,’ he says. Will his excitement carry him through as he faces his first challenge when passenger Pedro goes missing?

And engineer Scott, from Darlington, is left in charge of the whole team when his boss goes on leave. He’s busy with one of the most important jobs on board – making drinking water from the sea – over a million litres a day of it. It’s a big responsibility. “If you muck that up, you could seriously make someone ill, you know.”

hursday

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TV Guide

18th March - 24th March 2016

2 4 th

06:00.........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 08:30..... Coronation Street 09:00 ........... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15.................. Royal Pains 12:10...................Emmerdale 12:45......Coronation Street 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 19:00 .........Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed!

20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00.................Scorpion 22:00....... Celebrity Juice

06:10 ..... Who Do You Think You Are?

08:55 ......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

07:00................... Emergency Bikers

09:35 ......Food Unwrapped

12:15........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

06:00 ..........................Sunrise

13:15 ........Home and Away

07:00 ..........................Sunrise

13:45 .................Neighbours

09:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

14:15 ............................... NCIS

10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

15:15 ..................Garage Sale Mystery

11:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

06:00................. Countdown

06:00............. The Wotwots!

06:45 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:10..............Chloe’s Closet

07:10 .................................. The Goldbergs 07:35.................................. The Goldbergs 08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond

06:20............Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .........................Wissper 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond

07:10 ............. Little Princess

09:00........................... Frasier 09:35 ........................... Frasier

07:35 .................Thomas and Friends

10:05 .......................Car S.O.S

07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

11:05............ Shipping Wars

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:30 ............Shipping Wars 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

07:20 ..........Bob the Builder

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

12:05...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:35 ....................Paw Patrol

13:10....................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

09:00 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

14:10 ......... Deal or No Deal

M arch

08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 ................. Humble Pie 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 13:00....... My Dream Home 14:00................. Who Do You Think You Are? 16:00 .... Beverly Hills Pawn 17:00 .......My Dream Home 18:00........ Tipping Point 20:00 ................. Heston’s Fantastical Food 21:00....... Derren Brown 22:00 ............ EastEnders

10:05 ...........Celebrity Come Dine with Me 11:10............... Four in a Bed 11:45 ...............Four in a Bed 12:15 ...............Four in a Bed 12:50............... Four in a Bed 13:55 ................... Come Dine with Me 14:30 ................... Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun 17:50......A Place in the Sun 18:55 ........ The Supervet 19:55 ...... Grand Designs 21:00....... The Good Wife

22:40............... Gavin and Stacey

22:00.......... Thicker Than Water

23:20............... Gavin and Stacey

23:20........... Gadget Man 23:55........... Gadget Man

07:00 ................... Rocket City Rednecks

06:00 ................ Football Gold 07:00 .... WWE SmackDown!

08:00 .............Premier League 100 Club 09:00 ................ Football Gold 10:00..................... The Premier League Years 12:00................. Football Gold 13:00...... Sporting Triumphs 14:00..................... The Premier League Years 16:00............. Premier League 100 Club 17:00...... Sporting Triumphs 17:30 ............Barclays Premier League World 18:00............ BPL Legends 18:30............. Darts Gold II 19:00 ............. Live Premier League Darts 22:30 ............ Darts Gold II 22:45.......Barclays Premier League World 23:15...La Liga Show 2015

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff 11:15 .......Cowboy Builders 12:10........................... 5 News Lunchtime

15:10 .................Countdown 16:00 ................A New Life in the Sun

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

17:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 18:00 ....... The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 .... Channel 4 News 20:00.....Ugly House to CW Lovely House with choice George Clarke 21:00................8 Out of W C 10 Cats Does choice Countdown 22:00................ Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:05.......... Tattoo Fixers

06:30...........................Sunrise

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

07:25...... Ice Road Truckers 08:10...... American Pickers 09:00 ...... American Pickers 10:00 .......................Top Gear 11:00 .......................Top Gear

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ... Storage Hunters UK

15:00 .......... All Aboard: East Coast Trains

12:30... Storage Hunters UK

18:00.... Home and Away

14:00...... American Pickers

18:30..... 5 News Tonight

16:00 ..................... Futurama

15:00....... American Pickers

19:00 ......Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild UK

16:30 ..................... Futurama

16:00.......... Sin City Motors

17:00 .............The Simpsons

17:00....................... Top Gear

17:30 ..................... Futurama

18:00...American Pickers

18:00............... Futurama

19:00...American Pickers

18:30........ The Simpsons 19:00........ The Simpsons

20:00.................Would I Lie to You?

20:00...... DC’s Legends of Tomorrow

20:40.. Would I Lie to You? 21:20.. Would I Lie to You?

21:00.... Childhood’s End

22:00....................... QI XL

23:00................ Stan Lee’s Lucky Man

23:00.... Russell Howard’s Good News

17:30 .................Neighbours

20:00................... Medical Mysteries 21:00.....Trauma Doctors 22:00............... Cop Killer: Britain’s Worst Crimes 23:00...........Left for Dead by the Yorkshire Ripper

35 CW

W C choice

Ugly House to Lovely House with George Clarke Channel 4, 20:00

In the final episode of the series, Denise and Ali seek a new lease of life for their uninspiring council house in Croydon on a tight budget of £120,000.

The award-winning architect Jo Cowen has worked on projects including the British Museum and JP Morgan’s tower at Canary Wharf.

Jo plans a striking glazed extension and an exciting plan for the upstairs that requires an extra £40,000. But problems begin to appear, pushing the couple to the brink.

8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Channel 4, 21:00

Jimmy Carr hosts a new edition of the hit comedy show, packed with silly games and surprises.

Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Kevin Bridges and Joe Lycett.

CW 36

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What’s On

18th March - 24th March 2016

Arona Folk Festival Now the Carnival is over all eyes turn to the Folk Festival. Across the whole region there are different acts, bands, parades and local food!

When: Until March 26th More details: www.arona.org

Disney on Ice

Mundos Encantados The Mouse is back as Disney on Ice returns to Tenerife. The all-new Mundos Encantados show (Enchanted Worlds) includes modern favourites Cars, The Little Mermaid, Toy Story and of course Frozen!

Where: Pabellón de Deportes Santiago Martín, La Laguna When: 23rd to 27th March More details: disney.es/ disney-on-ice/mundos-encantados

Photography exhibition of Chema Madoz With the elegance which characterises him, always in black and white and with a very personal style, Chema Madoz gives new meanings to objects that he takes pictures of, mixing the real and the everyday with the unreal and imagined. Be surprised and listen to what the objects have to day in ‘Chema Madoz XXI’.

Tegueste Tour Enjoy the scenery and explore the history of the town of Tegueste via over 30 thematic routes that take place throughout the year.

Specialised guides will show you the most beautiful scenery of the town, its historical, artistic and archaeological heritage and, of course, vineyards and everything related to its great wine tradition.

There are hiking trails, dramatised routes that will transport you to the past or night routes for a unique experience under the moon.

When: Every Day More Info www.tegueste.org

Monje wine tour When: Until May 28th Where: Espacio Cultural CajaCanarias, Santa Cruz More details: www.cajacanarias.com/microsites/chema_ madoz

Visit the Monje WinWhere: ery and test El Sauzal the wine and When: gastronomy Every day from 10am of Tenerife.

More details: The landwww.bodegasmonje.com scape all around the winery is a delight to behold: vineyards, mountains, the sea and the sun. It is a perfect spot to live and nurture our wines. Built in 1956, the winery was modernised in 1983 but still holds the original oak barrels, nearly 200 years old, where the traditional red wine is left to ferment and mature. Age-old practices go hand in hand with modern-day technology.

The winery accommodates all the grape harvesting requirements with its capacity to hold 160,000 litres.

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Entertainment

18th March - 24th March 2016

37 CW

Tenerife Loves Karaoke

Chelsea in winning form

IN under three days we have seen two more heats of Tenerife Loves Karaoke 2016, which means we are now one-third of the way into this year’s fun competition.

And with five heats gone, we have heard and seen 62 heat songs and 15 heat-final deciders.

Curiously, we have heard just two Adele songs which, considering she was the world’s fastest, bestselling artiste in 2015, is remarkable.

The first of our two heats was at Palm Mar’s Clouseau’s Bar, where an eager audience enjoyed watching the entrants, all seeking a place in the

final of Tenerife Loves Karaoke, which takes place at Showtime, Las Americas, in June.

Clouseau’s Bar was a firm favourite of this competition in past years, always providing a worthy finalist.

And, as in years gone

Jackson Estate’s farewell to The Beatles and Dylan SONY Corp is spending £526 million on Michael Jackson Estate’s remaining 50% stake in a music catalogue, which includes works by The Beatles and Bob Dylan.

The agreement gives Sony/ATV Music Publishing sole ownership of the works, which also includes music by artistes such as Eminem and Taylor Swift.

The deal is expected to be finalised by the end of this month Jackson’s estate has wiped out the late singer’s enormous debts with a series of blockbuster deals, new music and film ventures.

The proceeds go to his mother and three children, known as Prince, Paris and Blanket.

Kazuo Hirai, Sony Corp President and Chief Executive, said in a statement: “This agreement further demonstrates Sony’s commitment to the entertainment business-

es, and our firm belief that these businesses will continue to contribute to our success for years.”

But the sale does not include rights to Jackson’s master recordings, or songs that he wrote, and the superstar singer’s estate will continue to have a stake in EMI Publishing Inc. Attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, co-executors of Jackson’s estate, also produced a statement, saying: “This transaction further allows us to continue our efforts of maximising the value of Michael’s Estate for the benefit of his children.

“It also further validates Michael’s foresight and genius in investing in music publishing.”

Jackson bought the ATV portion of the catalogue in 1985 for £29m, and merged it later with Sony.

It remained his most lucrative asset at the time of his death, in June 2009, at 50. But by that time, Jackson was hundreds of millions of dollars in debt.

by, and so far in the 2016 event, the quality just seems to get better and better, leaving the judges to agonise over who to put through.

After the contestants had sung their initial songs, the top three were selected to per-

form another song, all anxious to clinch a Final spot.

That went to Chelsea Anne Philpott, a 2014 finalist. She was a big hit with the audience, and the judges were also won over by her version of Elton John’s Your Song.

THIS summer, London’s Hyde Park sees Stevie Wonder perform every song from his award-winning album, Songs in the Key of Life.

The album, released

by Motown records in 1976, features hits such as Sir Duke, Isn’t She Lovely and I Wish.

In a series of concert dates in the US and Canada, which started in 2014, the 65-year-old American singer has performed the album in its entirety.

He is bringing the tour to the UK for the first time and will appear at the British Summer Time music festival on 10th July.

Songs in the Key of

The Wonders of Stevie, back in the Key of Life

Life has been cited as a major influence by many of the world’s biggest stars, including Sir Elton John, Prince and Michael Jackson.

Sir Elton told Rolling Stone magazine in 2011: “Let me put it this way.

The fifth heat was held on Monday at Dreamers Bar, Los Cristianos, another venue which supports the competition every year.

And again, it drew a packed audience, who cheered all the singers as they vied to join the

other four finalists. One outstanding feature of this year’s competition is that the standard seems to get higher and higher with each heat.

Wow, no one was disappointed at Dreamers Bar, and the judges faced a tough time determining the sing-off trio. It took an age, but rapturous applause greeted their selections - and the chosen few as they returned to the stage.

And Marie Steele proved another allround favourite when she was voted through to the Final with her version of Where The Boys Are. So far this year, we have three female and two male finalists, and we have seen many nationalities competing, which proves that this fun event is capturing everyone’s imagination.

Wherever I go in the world, I always take a copy of Songs in the Key of Life.

“For me, it’s the best album ever made, and I’m always left in awe after I listen to it.

“When people, in decades and centuries to come, talk about the history of music, they will talk about Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington, Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder.”

Stevie rose to fame in the Sixties as a child prodigy called Little

Stevie Wonder, signing with Motown at the age of 11.

He has won 25 Grammy awards, as well as a Grammy LifetimeAchievement award.

His show comes a week after Carole King performs in full - and for the first time - her iconic album Tapestry.

Other artists announced for the 10-day festival in Hyde Park include Mumford and Sons, Massive Attack, Take That, Florence + The Machine.

Elvis is back on stage, with strings attached!

WE all know that Elvis shuffled off this mortal coil almost 40 years ago, but fans can take heart in the knowledge that he is about to “undertake” a UK tour.

The voice of The King of Rock and Roll will be backed by the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra, in a series of arena shows It follows the success of his If I Can Dream album, which was re-

leased last year. Archived recordings of Presley’s voice were used, featuring new, orchestral arrangements of some of his biggest hits.

It registered the second-highest number of sales last year, providing Elvis with a recordequalling, 12th UK No1 album.

Presley, best known for tracks including Heartbreak Hotel, Hound

Dog and Love Me Tender, continued performing until shortly before his tragic death in 1997.

He has enjoyed 76 UK Top-10 singles, and 50 Top-10 UK albums.

The six UK performances start on 17th November at Glasgow SSE Hydro, before playing at Leeds First Direct Arena the following day.

Cardiff Motorpoint Arena, Birmingham

Genting Arena, the London O2 Arena and Manchester Arena will also be visited by the tour, ending on 24th November.

His former wife, Priscilla, who will be appearing, said: “What an honour for me to present to you songs from what has become a very prestigious and beloved album, with a full symphony orchestra.”

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Travel / Motor

By Vanessa Vee

18th March - 24th March 2016

We’ve all been in a Yellow Submarine

I RECALL when the Yellow Submarine was first discussed, and that we were getting one here in Tenerife, just like the one in Lanzarote.

And in 2007, our Island welcomed its own Submarine Safari. It was extremely exciting, as only one of five commercial submarines in the world. And let’s be honest, how often is it in our lifetimes that we will ever get a chance to experience this?

Unless, of course we decide to join the Royal Navy!

Well at my age, this is highly unlikely to happen, but now my eldest has seen pictures of the submarine on the coaches as we drive around town, I have been nagged constantly by her to give it a go.

Last Sunday was the perfect opportunity because, although we had quite a few exciting ideas for ourselves and some friends, this unusual trip was the perfect solution.

As our friends were visiting from the UK, it was important we opted for an activity that couldn’t be duplicated back home. I even put

a request out on social media for ideas.

Anyway, on Sunday morning, we finally made our decision, and Submarine Safari San Miguel was the choice.

We made our own way there, though generally there is a transfer coach for tourists, and once at the San Miguel Marina, no messing around, we were guided on-board.

A handy hint from me, ladies: wear trousers rather than a skirt, and if you must wear a skirt, make it a long one, because the descent into the vessel is via a virtually-upright ladder.

That is also a reason why this is not ideal for people with mobility issues.

We were seated, facing the portholes, one between two people, and in front of us, monitors showing exactly how many metres we were beneath sea level, and also the duration of the dive.

Once we were all comfortable and had watched the safety brief, it was time to depart.

Obviously, because of the portholes, but more importantly, the steady speed of the submarine, this ensured we had

perfect vision - highly important for an excursion of this type.

Once we navigated out of the marina, we then submerged lower, and this is when the schools of fish surrounded us. It seems that, over time, all the underwater life in this area is now quite used to the submarine’s frequent visits, and therefore there is no fear.

Or maybe it could be the presence of a diver, who floats around and feeds them all.

However it is done, it is a complete joy, and the visitors of all ages, especially the children, were

astounded. But but not half as much as when the diver swam past with a giant stingray!

Seriously, this stingray was at least 5ft long in length, and to see this was an amazing experience - one that really has to be seen to be believed.

As well as rays, we saw a couple of barracudas, plus many other breeds of fish, including the glow-in-the-dark ones!

We also viewed a shipwreck.

Granted it’s not quite The Titanic, but it’s most definitely wrecked! Not to mention the, well, I think they are called seaworms. Whatever they are, I don’t like them.

In fact, I am petrified of being in the sea. You would probably be able to coax me into a “try” dive, but you would never get me in the sea on a dive That’s because I always think Jaws is going to come and get

me! Seriously, I am a big sissy. I even used to get nightmares over King Kong! So to see the underwater world, the Submarine Safari is my ideal option, and with the dive lasting 50 minutes, the duration is just right, especially for the youngsters.

And the final touch is a singalong to The Beatles’ infamous song.

After disembarkation, the excited children were presented with a certificate, as were the adults, and also a souvenir photograph.

All in all, a very pleasant afternoon out, and something I recommend should be experienced by everyone at least once.

For more information on Submarine Safaris, or to make your reservation, please call 922 751 867 ext 1, or book online at www.tenerifesunshine.com Residents and OAP discounts are available.

Box clever when driving

By Emma at Motorworld

FOLLOWING on from my last article, I’m cover more driving offences which can often cause accidents or collisions with other vehicles - and lead to fines and/ or points added to your licence.

Blocking junctions Many UK drivers over here will recognise a painted road sign, normally yellow, which indicates: “do not enter the box unless your exit is clear.”

But so many people seem to forget why they exist in the first place!

The reason, in theory anyway, is to permit the flow of traffic in different directions.

Countless drivers obviously do not understand this, or ignore them. But by blocking such junctions, they are likely to cause delays to other drivers, and a traffic build-up can cause

unsafe road conditions.

So remember the golden saying: “Do not enter a box painted yellow or other colour, unless your exit is clear and safe.” Blocking carries a 200-euro fine.

Failure to give way Give-Way signs and road markings are there for a reason; namely, the safety and well-being of drivers and pedestrians.

Failure to give way to another vehicle with priority, and which may, potentially, cause the driver to brake hard or make a sharp manoeuvre, will result in a 200euro fine and a potential four-point loss.

Junctions can be dangerous places Moving vehicles have priority, and drivers must contend with other motors trying to join the flow of traffic. This, of course, results in slowing the flow.

It is not acceptable to stick your hand out of the window and expect an approaching car to stop, or allow you to join.

Drivers do not have to.

You are, potentially, forcing the approaching vehicle to deviate from its normal course and, perhaps, create a hazard or accident - if only a small bump. It’s an accident, all the same, and

the driver forcing the issue will be the one at fault.

Bribes and insults If you are stopped by the police for any reason, always act politely no matter how you may be feeling inside.

Recently, there was a case in which the Guardia Civil stopped a vehicle that appeared to be overloaded, and pulled it over for inspection.

The driver was questioned, and police carried out a routine check of the vehicle, plus the driver’s identification and his permission to drive. Their checks revealed that he had lost

his licence and had not completed the mandatory educational course, either. Subsequently, he had also been banned from driving.

His passenger was carrying a substantial sum of cash and attempted to bribe the officers to let the driver off.

The offer was declined and both people were arrested, leaving them to be dealt with lawfully.

You should also be aware that if you insult a police officer, he/she can fine you. And even if you have a witness who swears you didn’t, this type of “offence” is rarely overturned on appeal.

www.canarianweekly.com 18th March - 24th March 2016

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Wine and Dine

18th March - 24th March 2016

Adeje Chicken in Buzanada Bryan is back but now he is the owner with his mum in the kitchen for the famous home-made food & all her excuisite & authentic recipes of mojo & Ali-oli.

Still serving their chicken dishes including grilled chicken breast, spicy chicken & honey chicken garlic chicken, with a pint of beer for only 1 euro!! Open for breakfast & sandwiches all day until 10pm. A new addition to the menu, which starts at 12noon until 4pm, includes 2 courses & a drink for only 6.80 euros & will change daily (not only chicken dishes).

Buzanada Roundabout, Buzanada.

Open: Tues-Sun, 8am-10pm. Closed Mondays

Lupita The Swan Fresh food served 7 days a week, all with good quality produce. We also cater for any special requirements.

Daily Specials. Friday: Cod and chips night.

Sunday Lunch: 12noon - 8pm.

24hr notice for paella, lamb shank, fillet steak or ask us for anything you fancy.

Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings. Great entertainment, even greater value!

In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos

Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm

Call: 602 601 634

Parque de la Reina has a secret - Lupita restaurant is fast becoming the place to eat, and it has a well-deserved reputation.

All the usual Mexican specialities are on offer, but from midday until 4pm, check out its 3.95euro menu. You can have a bowl of soup or garlic bread, main meal (selection of 20) and ice cream or coffee to finish, which is excellent value for money. Also, evening and weekend menus are available from 4.95-euros. Now open Mondays!

FREE 1/2ltr Margarita when 2 people dine from the A La Carte menu!

Ca単ada Blanca 2, Parque de la Reina Open: 12noon - 11.30pm. Closed Tuesdays

Call: 922 739 250

Call: 922 728 290 / 629 331 124

www.canarianweekly.com

Wine & Dine

18th March - 24th March 2016

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Only way is up for Mercadona DISCOUNT supermarket Mercadona, one of the biggest employers in Spain, plans to open more stores this year after its 2015 profits rose 12% to 611 million euros.

The family-owned company, which had a 3.3% turnover rise last year to 20.83bn euros, has been opening stores at a rate of around 60 a year - it invested more than 651m in them in 2015, taking its total to 1,574.

It has some 22% share of Spain’s food retail market, making it the country’s biggest player. And its online busi-

ness is also prospering, with an 8% turnover increase last year.

The renovation of stores has seen the retailer place greater focus on fresh fruit and veg, together with fish and bakery counters especially.

Mercadona President Juan Roig said the company had increased its share of sales in the fish and fresh categories by 2%, while its share in the bakery category rose by 0.5%.

He revealed that the company would invest 650m euros to fund: a 1% price reduction, the addition of 60 new stores, the renovation of a further 35 - and begin building a Data Processing Centre in the León province.

Roig said it would also invest in its website to make it more accessible, easier to use and more visual for shoppers. Ultimately, the investment is aimed at driving a 2% increase

in both turnover and profit during the year New store growth, added Roig, would focus on Basque Country, Navarra, Catalonia, Andalusia and Madrid.

He said its 2015 push into the Basque Country region, as well as lower oil prices and efficiency gains, boosted profits and sales.

Spanish supermarkets, big and small, had

to cope with depressed demand and weak margins during the country’s long recession.

This has created pressure to consolidate, and many smaller firms could be swallowed up in a wave of mergers.

Discount stores did well during the crisis and some, like rival Dia, are now in expansion mode, buying more stores, refurbishing others and expanding into fresh produce or clothes. But Mercadona has stuck to its strategy of organic growth.

France’s Carrefour is also expanding in Spain, the supermarket chain saying earlier this week it was buying 36 hypermarkets from the domestic Eroski Group.

Tex Mexico The new Tex Mex in Los Cristianos has a wide selection of tasty Texan and Mexican dishes.With portion sizes to satisfy any appetite plus margaritas and Mexican beers to quench your thirst...

Everything is cooked fresh, so you can order to suit your taste buds. You can choose non spicy, tangy, and for the brave, super spicy and everything in between. Come down and give us a try and we know you will come back!

Edificio Simon, Entrance road to Los Cristianos, on the corner between Hipertrebol & Farmacia

Open: Everyday, 11am - midnight

Call: 922 796 962

La Rambla Would you like to try our well-prepared garlic chicken with mojo sauce or tender roasted ribs? Or why not try something different from our specials like smoked or roasted salmon, pork or duck? And if you’re just looking for a snack there is a wide range of tapas and montaditos available.

Come and meet, man and wife team, Jose and Alexandra, who have been providing freshly prepared food and excellent service since 2006.

La Rambla is located in Adeje, by the local church, don’t miss out on this amazing restaurant Calle Grande No.7, Adeje

Open: Everyday, 12.30 - 22.30

Call: 922 710 428

James’ Place The only British bar and the jewel in the crown in La Caleta. Something for all the family with stylish dining area, sun drenched terrace, games room, all your Live Sport and a fantastic menu.

Freshly beer-battered fish and home to ‘The Best’ Sunday Roast!

1pm-6pm James’s Place - Where we just haven’t met you yet!

La Caleta

Open: Food served Mon-Sat: 10am - 10pm.

Sun: 10am - 6pm. Open til late.

Call: 922 168 139

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Lifestyle

By Val Sainsbury “IT won’t happen to me” is a statement most of us have made at some time in our lives. No matter what the doctors may tell us, we are sure of our invincibility - and immortality!

Yet with a simple blood test, scientists are able to predict whether we are likely to develop cancer or heart disease, as well as Alzheimer’s.

Unfortunately, most of us won’t change our lifetyles, even if it may mean reducing the risks.

Genetic testing is one of the fastest-moving aspects of medical research. Doctors have assumed, until now, that people given this information take steps to reduce their risk, maybe by exercising more, stopping smoking or improving their diets.

But Cambridge University has led new research which shows that people actually tend to ignore the warnings, and would rather accept their fate.

Researchers found that telling people the results of these tests “has little, or no, impact” on lifestyle or behaviour.

The team, whose work is published in the British Medical Journal, analysed 18 previous studies, involving more than 6,000 people.

They discovered that telling people they were at risk of skin cancer, for example, did not mean they spent less time in the sun.

People ignored advice about diet, physical activity and smoking, and were no more likely to enrol in screening programmes.

Scientists from the University of Manchester and Imperial College London, who were also involved, agreed that a rethink was needed.

Genetic testing is, increasingly, being used in modern healthcare,

18th March - 24th March 2016

Don’t gamble with your life!

for a range of disorders.

Genome sequencing - reading an individual’s entire DNA - has opened up the potential to provide individuals with information about whether they carry genes known to increase their risk of disease.

The tests are controversial. Critics say that just because someone carries a particular genetic variant, does not mean they will definitely develop the disease.

But others argue that, if individuals know they are at greater risk of a particular disease, they can make an informed decision about whether or not to change their behaviour.

In extreme cases, women with the faulty BRCA cancer genes, famously carried by actress Angelina Jolie, sometimes choose to have their breasts and ovaries removed to reduce the cancer risk.

In more common examples, people whose DNA means they are more susceptible to heart disease, are encouraged to take up exercise, and cut down on their alcohol intake.

But the market for genetic testing is growing, with private DNA tests offering people a report by post.

Study leader Professor Theresa Marteau, director of the Behaviour and Health Research Unit at Cambridge, said: “Expectations have been high that giving people information about their genetic risk will empower them to change their behaviour - to eat more healthily or to stop smoking, for example. But we have found no evidence that

this is the case.

“But neither does the evidence support concerns that such information might demotivate people, and discourage them from changing their behaviour.”

The authors wrote: “The results of this updated, systematic review suggest that communicating DNAbased, disease-risk estimates, has little, or no, impact on risk-reducing health behaviour.”

But the researchers recognise that testing may still play a role in improving people’s health.

Co-author Dr Gareth Hollands said: “DNA testing, alone - or in combination with other assessments of disease risk - may help clinicians identify individuals at greatest risk, and allow them to target interventions, such as screening tests, surgery, and drug treatments.”

HONESTLY AND

FRANKIE

By Carl Pattison WHEN a hairstyle suits you, there’s a reason for it. When your hair gets compliments wherever you go, try to listen and notice why you’re receiving such good vibes.

Achieving the right look for you is best left to your stylists. Your profile, the shape of your face - and everything in between - will be checked, to make sure they’re doing the best for your image.

Right down to what you wear, and even sometimes the make-up you choose, will make sure that the end result will do you justice.

So why has Frankie Sandford’s stylist let her go all “mumsy” on us, when we are used to seeing her with such chic, stylish hair?

We all have our opinions, but, to me, hav-

ing long hair makes The Saturdays’ singer “blend” into the background. Look how her features stand out more with her shorter hair.

Along with the likes of Sharon Stone and Halle Berry, she’s nothing

without her cool, impish locks. If having longer hair suits you, then so be it, but there aren’t many women who look this good with such short hair. She pulls it off to a tee with this cut, enhancing all her finer features.

So, Miss Sandford, perhaps it’s time you had a word with your stylist, to bring back the Frankie we know.

Yes, it’s true, you may need to experiment, but this longer hair is just “drowning” you.

Maybe there are a few of you out there who prefer her hair this way, but take a look at the two photos.

Whoever styled her hair the shorter way really knew how to bring out the beauty in her face, and how to turn heads in her direction.

Sometimes, your stylist should be honest, if not brutal. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to styling hair.

DESERT WARRIORS

By Carl Pattison AS Spring hits us with the unusual heat we are having, menswear takes a “fast-forward” in the stores. Men’s clothing is usually slower on the uptake of fashion changes in comparison with women’s.

But one look that’s been seen on many

runways is the “Aviator”. The combination of desert warrior and flight pilot, drawing khakis and sand-coloured items, along with pale browns, creates an earthy mix for summer.

Layering vests over open shirts - with combat-style shorts - is the basis of this look. Combat trousers are making a comeback, but in a smarter style, rather than a rugged one.

Military-style casual jackets can be layered over a vest to create the look, without feeling too over-dressed. Don’t overdo it, though.

It’s meant to look street-wearable, not Indiana Jones. If you’re trying out this look, stick to two tones of the suggested colours, to create your own style.

Add accessories, such as matching belts. Sandals are the shoes to be wearing, and low-slung satchel bags set off the total image.

This look was around in the late Eighties, and it has been brought bang-up-to-date for 2016.

So, try out this look on your next shopping spree. The Aviator has landed!

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Lifestyle

18th March - 24th March 2016

43 CW

The world of Yoga: your 12-point beginner’s guide

By Maja Balcerzak

of Activate Sports Club

Most people know three things about yoga at least: it’s from India, there’s something about a downward dog involved and famous people around the world swear by it.

But if you’ve never tried a class and are curious to learn a little more about one of the most successful global phenomenon the wellbeing industry has ever experienced, here’s our 12-point beginner’s guide: 1.

The word Yoga means ‘unity’, ‘union’ or ‘connection’. It’s really about creating a harmony and balance between body, mind and soul – much more than the “muscle stretches” people often mistake it for.

2. Breathing is everything.

Pranayama, the term given to consciously controlling the breath, is really at the heart of all yoga practice. Breathing is given the attention it deserves as the source of all our prana (life force). Even just a few

minutes a day spent breathing correctly can produce major changes in how you feel and your state of mind.

3.

It’s old. Really old - over 5,000 years, in fact. Despite only having become popular in the Western world in recent decades, and although it’s true that some newer versions have sprung up over the past years, yoga is one of the oldest practices known.

4.

You don’t need

to spend an hour at it – even just a few minutes of yoga during the day has been proven to have beneficial relaxing effects on both your body and your mind, by releasing built-up tension in the muscles and calming down your poor, overworked brain.

5. Namas -what?

It’s common for yoga classes to finish with the typical “Namaste” gesture, where you place your hands together in the centre of

your chest (the heart chakra), close your eyes and bow your head. The term literally means “I bow to you”, but is recognised in its wider significance of “the divine within me honours the divine within you”.

6.

Yoga isn’t a really a sport, nor, as some people believe, is it a religion. Yoga is a lifestyle. The “yogic way” has masses of followers and perhaps one of its most attrac-

tive characteristics is that anyone and everyone can adopt the yogic philosophy, no matter where you are, what you do or what your physical capabilities are.

7. The term “yogi” is generally applied to a person following the yogic way of life. What does that mean? Well, basically a person who practices asanas, pranayama and meditation as well as being kind and com-

passionate.

8.

A lot of yogis follow a vegetarian diet, but it’s not compulsory. What it does encourage you to develop is awareness of what and how you eat, what you put into your body and the effect it has on you.

9.

Yoga is said to work very well in cleaning the body’s 8 chakras (energy centres) to unblock energy paths and to allow positivity to flow throughout you.

10. There is an almost endless list of health benefits associated with regular practice. This includes better concentration, increased flexibility, reduced risk of diabetes and heart disease, lower rates of depression and anxiety, improvement in joint health and flexibility, etc.

11. There’s actually a thing called DOGA, which, yes, you guessed it, is a type of yoga encouraging people to bond better with their pets. Yoga with dogs. It’s an American invention (are we surprised?) and started in New York in 2002.

12.

There are, to date, over 100 different schools of yoga, including Hatha, Iyengar, Bikram, Javamutki and Kundalini.

Activate runs regular yoga classes, hatha yoga and yoga vibe.

For more information or to try a class, email info@tenerifeactivate. com

Find us @ Calle Roques del Salmor, 38679 Costa Adeje, Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Tel: 822 070 037

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Carnival

www.canarianweekly.com 18th March - 24th March 2016

Los Cristianos Parade The Arona carnival has been a massive success and many have suggested that this year’s event was the best carnival for many a year. Last Sunday the traditional end of carnival parade snaked through Los Cristianos and local police said over 25,000 people lined the streets. They were treated to a parade of colour, imagination, music and lots of dancing. Roll on next year!

Photos: Sir Old Golfer

www.canarianweekly.com

Community News

18th March - 24th March 2016

Cats Welfare news

45 CW

Accion del Sol news

A mountain United nations’ dog walk! of goodwill YET again, we are overwhelmed by the generosity of Purina pet foods and the Atlantic Dog pet shop in Las Galletas, who have donated a mountain of food for the cats in our care.

It is a tremendouslygenerous gesture, and will make such a difference to us. Every cent we can save on cat food means we can treat more sick and injured cats - and neuter more strays.

The charity work of these two organisations is legendary to the cat and dog charities they support, and we cannot thank them enough.

Pregnant cat? Kittens?

We are now in the season - which will continue over the summer - when many hundreds of kittens will be born.

If you know of, or find, any kittens - or even pregnant mothers - please contact us IMMEDIATELY. Don’t leave it until the kittens are big and running around.

If we are informed early, we can make a decision about the optimum time to remove them from where they are, and home them.

But, if they are with a mother and safe, we may well leave them where they are for a few days/weeks, and monitor them.

If they are in danger, or not with a mother. we may remove them immediately. It needs to be a careful decision, though, so please call or Whatsapp Theresa on 680 475 500 (9am-6pm every day), or message us on our website www. cats-welfare tenerife. com/contacts Home for Smokey

Smokey (above) is a beautiful, black, oneyear-old female who needs a special home where she can get good food and lots of cuddles.

She has tested positive for leukaemia, but she’s so cuddly and loving, that we really want to give her a chance to live out her life in peace.

We will pay for the treatment concerning her disease at one of our vets, so there will be no extra cost to her new owner. And she is already spayed.

She will need a home where she is an indoor cat on her own, or with other leukaemia-positive cats.

Can someone find it in their heart to give her a chance? There is no adoption fee, so, if you would like to ask questions, or meet her, call or message Theresa.

Details and pictures of all the cats we have for adoption can be found on our website www. cats-welfare -tenerife. com/pets Foster carers Do you live here permanently, or are you just here for a few months or even weeks? Did you know you CAN be a foster carer for us? We constantly need people prepared to take in a cat or kitten, short-term, while we find them a permanent home.

We provide all food, litter and veterinary care.

You provide the cuddles. It’s a great way to have a pet, with none of the long-term responsibility or cost.

Donations needed We always require old towels and blankets as bedding for the cats and kittens, along with donations of cat food and biscuits, pet carriers, scratch-posts etc, all in good condition.

Donations of goodcondition/quality clothes for our charity shop are also always required. If you have anything to donate, including as-new furniture and household effects, ring Mark on 636 590 557 and he will arrange collection from you.

Our charity shop Our shop is on San Blas, Golf del Sur (behind HiperDino). It is open seven days a week, 10am-6pm, and Saturdays from 11am-4pm.

Pop in for a browse, and help us to raise muchneeded funds to continue our work.

WE had a lovely afternoon, walking some of the many dogs at the refuge, people of all nationalities coming together to bring some happiness and lots of love to them.

It consisted of a gentle stroll down to the beach, and then back to the refuge for some much-needed refreshments.

We are always looking for people to walk the dogs, so please come along during our opening hours if you would like to volunteer.

There are many dogs available for adoption at the refuge which are classed as dangerous

breeds: Pitbull terrier, Staffordshire bull terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Rottweiler, Argentine Mastiff, Fila Brasileiro, Tosa Inu and Akita Inu. These dog-owners need to have a Dangerous-Dog Licence, which we can guide you with if you are interested in adopting one of these breeds.

Despite their “Dangerous” tag, they really do make lovely, good-natured and sociable pets, and are ready for adoption.

Grateful thanks We are so thankful for all the support we receive from our many

volunteers and supporters of all nationalities.

You help us in so many ways … adoptions, dogwalking, donations of bedding, sheets and towels, and even flying to Germany with them, on their way to new homes.

You also help to ease the pain and suffering of some of the many strays, who may have endured years of physical, and mental, abuse.

Please call us on 922 778 630 if you can help in any way, or visit on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons, from 2-5pm, and Saturdays (1-4pm).

Live Arico news

Bruno wants fighting chance BRUNO is now an old “man”, who’s never had the chance of happiness in a loving home. So it would be so rewarding if he were able to live out his days on a comfy sofa, surrounded by a family who really care for him.

We want that so much that we are willing to cover his vets bills for life. All he will cost is food and love, so please make space for Bruno (below) in your home.

Call Sue for more information on 629 388 102.

Find the Easter Eggs Following last year’s success, we are doing it all again on Good Friday at San Blas Top Square, from 8pm. Kids can seek and find Easter Eggs, and there will be a night of entertainment hosted by Suzy q, with guests Nik Page, Tanya Tevaro, Ady Evans, Steve Delsey, Nigel Walker’s Ska Show, Colin Stevens comedy-drag show, Michaela Jay and Debbie Diamond.

We also have a signed football from in-form CD Tenerife to auction, so come on down and enjoy the night.

Our Charity Shops There are plenty of bargains for all, so have a good root around at any of our three shops: *San Eugenio, oppo-

site Hotel La Nina, at las Carabelas near Amandas Bar. Open MondaySaturday (10am-4pm) *Los Cristianos, Calle Revron, near Thistle and Dragon Bar and playpark. Open daily (10am-4pm) *Golf del Sur, Golf Park, just before the lot-

tery kiosk. Open Monday-Friday (10am-to 6pm), Saturday (10am4pm), Sunday (10.30am3.30pm) Save them for us!

Don’t throw things away! Call 629 388 102 and we’ll sell your unwanted items to help the dogs.

CW 46

Advertisement

www.canarianweekly.com 18th March - 24th March 2016

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Puzzle Page

18th March - 24th March 2016

Quick quiz CW Crossword Which number replaces the question mark?

Godoku!

This week’s letters: D E G N O P R U W This week’s mystery clue: The 15th Daisy Dalrymple mystery by Carola Dunn involves this kind of plot in its title (9 letters).

R G

E N

O E W O N P

D

P

G D E D R G U N D E

O P Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

4

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

Beginner

9 6

Starter Number

1

2

3

÷6

44

÷4

+31

6

7

8

÷3

+35

-5

-14 2

3

x14

9 3 4 3 9 6 8

÷13 +41

÷5

6

7

+52

of this

+104

of this

1

2

3

2/3

8

Starter Number

63

7 4

6

-4

x7 Answer

9

2/9

And 2 normal sudokus for you as well...

8

÷3 +111 x5 7

+142 ÷6

8

-34

Can you name the three famous faces in this picture?

Top ______________________

9

x7

Last Issue's Answers:

5

4

CW Crossword

ACROSS. 1 TIN, 3 HOP IT, 8 ADAGE, 9 APPREHEND, 10 SAIL, 11 MEMORIAL, 13 REGGAE, 14 HELPER, 17 BACTERIA, 19 STIR, 22 THAWED OUT, 23 RIVER, 24 YIELD, 25 SOY. DOWN. 1 TRAPS, 2 NAPPING, 3 HEEL, 4 PREFER, 5 TADPOLES, 6 BALTI, 7 SECULAR, 12 TAPESTRY, 13 RUBBERS, 15 PYTHONS, 16 PIRATE, 18 CURVY, 20 RATTY, 21 MEND.

Advanced

2

52

1

Face Mix

Bottom ______________________

Intermediate Starter Number

by Trevor Kirton

Middle ______________________

Answer

9

squared

5

4

1 2

6 5 2

ACROSS 4 Bowmen (7) 8 Greek letter (5) 9 Dressed for school (9) 10 Not urban (5) 11 Perry fruit (4) 13 Trench (5) 15 Head (informal ) (5) 16 Assembly of witches (5) 18 Yellow egg parts (5) 20 Young female (4) 21 Mocking smile (5) 22 Lizard-like (9) 24 Relating to bees (5) 25 In the direction of (7) DOWN 1 Bellowed like a lion (6) 2 Tight-lipped (9) 3 Pull or drag (4) 4 Tolerates (6) 5 Young chorister (8) 6 Tree (3) 7 Lead astray (6) 12 Pain-killer (9) 14 More ravenous (8) 16 Root vegetable (6) 17 Thought generators (6) 19 Get smaller (6) 21 Impediment (4) 23 Church seat (3)

U G

47 CW

5

4

-373

4/7

of this

Answer

2 1 5

9 3 4 5

2 3 7

7 4 6 3

5

4 2 9 7 1

5 8 2

Quick Quiz Answer: 25

Explanation: Starting on the left, halve the first number and add it to the second number to give the next one along. Repeat this sequence all the way to the right.

Brain Training: Beginner: 18 Intermediate: 60 Advanced: 321 Godoku:

Face Mix: Boris Johnson Adele Leonardo DiCaprio Sudoku X:

9 4 1 5 6 3 8 7 2

5 6 3 2 8 7 9 4 1

2 8 7 9 4 1 5 6 3

6

4

7 2

6 5

2 8 9 7 5

9 8 6

8 1 3 6 1

3

9

4 6

3 8 4

3 4 7 1 6 7

4 5 9 3 2 6 7 1 8

8 7 2 4 1 5 3 9 6

1 3 6 7 9 8 4 2 5

7 1 8 6 5 4 2 3 9

6 9 4 8 3 2 1 5 7

3 2 5 1 7 9 6 8 4

Sudoku:

2 3 9 8 1 7 6 4 5

5 1 8 2 6 3 9 7 4

1 4 5 3 6 2 8 9 7

2 9 3 7 8 4 1 5 6

7 6 8 9 5 4 2 3 1

7 6 4 1 5 9 2 3 8

5 8 4 1 2 9 7 6 3

3 7 1 8 4 5 6 2 9

6 2 7 4 8 3 1 5 9

4 8 5 9 2 6 3 1 7

3 9 1 5 7 6 4 2 8

6 2 9 3 1 7 4 8 5

4 5 2 7 3 1 9 8 6

8 4 6 5 3 2 7 9 1

8 7 6 2 9 5 3 1 4

1 3 7 4 9 8 5 6 2

9 1 3 6 4 8 5 7 2

9 5 2 6 7 1 8 4 3

CW 48

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Information

18th March - 24th March 2016

How to Advertise: Page 48

PHONE 902 232 102 / FAX 902 232 102 / Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Or just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (above Juno, next to Bar Acuario). Upto 500 euros.

Page 49

Page 49 Lineage 0.50c per word FREE: 1 telephone number Basic box advert Classic box advert

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

20 euros per week (30 words maximum) double size box

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

25 euros per week (30 words maximum) Classic DBLE box

Advertise Advertise your your property property or or classified classified advert here. advert here.

40 euros 35 euros per week per week (60 words (60 words maximum) maximum)

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco.gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112 National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06

Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Lineage 35 euros for 4 weeks 1 module box advert

Advertise your service advert here. 80 euros for 4 weeks* advertising (20 euros per week) Please ask us for prices for larger size adverts.

All property, classified and service point have to be paid for in cash at our officces in Las Chafiras. *Service point adverts have to be in for a minimum of 4 weeks.

Deadline: Tuesday 4pm

Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11

Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 761 201 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802

Discounts available for more than one edition.

N.B. there is a 50% premium for a property/Business for sale classified adverts.

Page 49

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care.

Green - Safe to swim

Sky box with remote and white viewing card, 15 euros. HP deskjet printer with installation CD, 10 euros. Ladies Footjoy soft-stud golf shoes, white and tan, size 38/39, worn once, 15 euros. Tel 922 797 888 Overhead fan with light (white) and remote control, brand-new, 50 euros. Artificial grass, brand-new, 7m x 2m, 150 euros. Las Americas, Tel 922 797 565 or email privat3001@yahoo.de Mobile Samsung Galaxy J1, less than year old, blue, with box, charger etc. 55 euros. Tel: 620 532 238.

Stunning 14k gold bangle with 3 emeralds and 4 diamonds, 495 euros. LG mobile with dual-face camera, black, accepts memory card, complete with original LG charger, older design, no wifi but works perfectly, 15 euros. Electric sander with triangle head, in good working order, 35 euros. Babyliss hairdryer/straightener, good as new, 25 euros. White ladies Puma trainers with diamante detail, pure leather, size 38, nearly new, 65 euros. Toaster, 10 euros.

Braun hairdryer for straight, flicked-up ends or wavy hairstyles, 15 euros. Silencio Tel: 608 653 260 TV box for 6 English channels, no aerial but available, 40 euros.

Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037 TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

Child carrier (for adults back) with storage pockets good quality, 15 euros. White Whirlpool microwave with grill/steam, plus jet & crisp features (older model, but good working order) 45 euros.

Acer computer keyboard & mouse, 15 euros. Large, modern, oval mirror set on white-painted wood, 30 euros. Large wall mirror with natural cane surround, 20 euros. Large mirror set on pine wood, 20 euros. Nest of 3 small tables white, painted cane glass tops, 25 euros. Logitech wireless keyboard, black, as-new, 10 euros. Curtains for patio doors, pale-blue, heavy cotton, asnew, self-lined, length 200cm & each curtain width 346cm, 30 euros. Black & white Eiffel tower scene at night, 15 euros. Small elec fan heater, 12 euros. Desktop elec fan, 20 euros. Worktop white mini-oven, 15 euros. Vitro glass hob, 4 rings, must be connected to oven, with controls knobs for hob, 45 euros. 4 black, soft blankets, 15 euros the lot. White cane unit with 3 drawers at bottom, glass doors at top & shelves, 50 euros. Small grey metal filing cabinet on wheels, 20 euros. Ladies glam, long coat, knitted style in cotton beige, size 14 (UK) approx, worn once, Los Cris Centre, 20 euros. Quality office desk with 3 drawers & cupboard underneath, 50 euros. Lexmark printer/ scanner with instruction book, plus new ink refill kit. 25 euros.

3 old Manchester City football shirts, as-new, 10 euros each. Los Cris area, Tel 922 794 790 or 699 199 392

www.canarianweekly.com

Classified

18th March - 24th March 2016

Cars/BIKES

49 CW

Property for Sale

Jobs (Cont.) chat or to arrange an interview please contact us on 922 714 205 Harleys Restaurant is currently looking for Grill Chefs and Chefs. Full contract will be given to the successful applicants. Call 922 712 290 or pop into Harleys Restaurant with your CV and ask for the Manager on duty Club Olympus requires experienced reps for their thriving in-house programme. Excellent working environment, good commissions paid, contract and nomina supplied.

Must have NIE number. Contact Sue 922 795 606 or Ray 600 526 647 Suncare Central are looking for a person to join their current team of Suncare Advisors working within hotels in the Las Americas area. Experience in sales & customer service essential. Contract and full training given. Please contact Craig on 651 172 738 Wanted for an established in-house sales team in the south of Tenerife, experienced reps for fractional and points based products. Great commissions and weekly incentives. Limited positions, so apply now to Justine@ pearlygrey.com 627 107 631 or phil@pearlygrey.com 637 560 822 A Busy Office are looking for an honest and mature Admin person to join their company. Top opportunity, great working conditions and easy parking, with fantastic incentives. Ability to be punctual and work alongside great colleagues. Native English and car essential - unless living close to the offices in El Galeon, Adeje. Apply in absolute confidence to Chani on 922 758 425 or Email CV to: admin@ sloncemarketing.com

C1709. SAN ISIDRO. Very pretty refurbished 2 bedroom apartment in San Isidro.

59.000 Euros

C1659. TERRAZAS DEL CONDE, TORVISCAS

ALTO. 2 bed duplex penthouse on 134 m2 construction, 2 terraces with views of the coast & the sea.

180.000 Euros

B1582. ORLANDO, TORVISCAS.

Totally renovated 1 bedroom apt, in excellent condition and with views to the pool, sea and mountains.

147.000 Euros

D1307. ROQUE DEL CONDE, TORVISCAS ALTO. Attractive modern villa at the top of the hill with stunning views. Top quality building materials + the very exclusive furniture and fittings.

895.000 Euros

www.thepropertygallery.com Property for renT Playa las Americas, large bungalow (near Hotel Tenerife Sol) 30m from beach. Inside 95m2, outside 120 m2 garden/ terraces, partly furnished, 2 bedroom. Ideal for family with domestic animal. 1,100.00 € net/month. 1-off payment for new sunblinds and 1 A/C. Free from April. Tel: 922 797 565 Email: privat3001@yahoo.de

Air-Conditioning

Rentals: 922 797 438 Sales: 922 751 072 Mobile: 693 713 686

www.tenerifeislandrentals.com

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Jobs Jet2holidays currently have fantastic opportunities for Overseas Reps to join their Overseas Team in Tenerife for Summer 2016. If you love the idea of taking responsibility for our customers' holiday whilst working as One Team then apply now at Jet2careers.com Due to a very successful start to 2016, Flamingo Club are looking to continue growth for our in-house and cold line operations. We are seeking experienced British sales people to work 5 days a week on our very busy resort. Paid fortnightly and daily spiffs. For confidential

Los Cristianos - 900€

Golf Del Sur - 395€

Now available until 1st September 2016. 1 bed apartment within walking distance to the beach front and central Los Cristianos. Pool on complex and has secure parking.

1 bed ground floor apartment with fully fitted kitchen, double size bedroom with fitted wardrobes, terrace area from the lounge/bedroom and there is a pool on this complex.

ed Urgently Requir areas

properties for all

Los Cristianos - 1250€ 3 bed 2 bath penthouse apartment within walking distance to all amenities, large terrace area with fantastic sea views, double size bedrooms and has fully fitted independent kitchen.

Llano De Camello - 865€ 4 bed 2 bath duplex apartment with south facing roof terrace, lounge, kitchen, 2 bedrooms with w.c to the ground floor, spiral staircase leading to a further 2 bedrooms and bathroom with sitting area.

CW 50

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

18th March - 24th March 2016

Construction

Auction Fortnightly General Auctions at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Buy and sell almost anything! Collection & delivery available. Call 609 303 634

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 www.yogavibetenerife.com

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

&

Vintage

Goods

Blinds

Home removal

Cars

Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers Long term car rental (1 x week) from 200 euro per month. We pick up full insurance and breakdown. Please telephone 642 756 473 for fast polite service

Chiropodist Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA. Home/Hotel visits from Los Gigantes to El Medano. Tel: 608 029 790.

Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com

Cleaning

Mechanics Electrician Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Clubs

Furniture New Bed Bases & Mattresses for sale at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Excellent Quality, Low Prices, Next Day Delivery. Call 609 303 634

Computers

Garden Furniture

Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail:

Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

www.canarianweekly.com

Service Point

18th March - 24th March 2016

Mechanics (Cont.)

Plumbing

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

Pool tables

51 CW

security (Cont.)

Storage Short and Long Term Storage available at Tenerife Auction Rooms, anything from a suitcase to complete removals. Collection available. Call 609 303 634

Tiling

Patio Doors & Windows

Property services

Translation TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more. Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

Removals

Travel agents

UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

Second-hand Shops

Wanted:

Furniture and household items 路 Bought for Cash 路 Immediate Decisions 路 Immediate Payment

Call Freddie on 609 303 634 repairs

TV and Satellite ElectroSat TV S.L. C/Encarnacion No 1. Valle San Lorenzo, Tenerife. Tel: 922 72 22 27 Mobile 670 277 772, email: info@electrosat.com Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Windows Personal ServiceS Los Cristianos. Patrica returns from Venezuela. Larges breast, without limits. Calle Noruega near the Supermarket ALTAVISTA. 610 359 339.

Las Galletas, novelty 2 friends, sensual friendly services. Come and enjoy with us, kisses. Tel: 669 738 298 Las Galletas , novelty Kelly , Sexy, hot, erotic massage.

SPEAK ENGLISH 634 727 121 Pest control

security

CW 52

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

18th March - 24th March 2016

Gaffers almost there again

GAFFERS A have taken another stride towards retaining the Direct Telecom Pool League Division One title after chalking up a win on Tuesday.

Tenerife Hammers C were hoping to do stable mates Hammers A a favour by beating Gaffers, but they were never at the races and were fortunate to avoid a whitewash by winning a solitary frame.

Gaffers A now need just one point from their remaining three games to be crowned champions, and they can do it against former winners Palms A on Tuesday.

The race for second is tight, with Tenerife Hammers A currently occupying that position. They had a tough home game against Exiles A but made a good start by racing into a 6-2 lead.

However, Dan, Tel and Mark struck back for Exiles to give Stash a chance of achieving a draw. He was up against Craig for the Hammers in a closelyfought encounter. But Craig held his nerve to beat him.

Dreamers A are breathing down their necks, though, and have a game in hand over their rivals.

If both teams win

their remaining fixtures, they will finish level on points, and frame-difference will come into it. And with the extra game, Dreamers A could steal second.

They played relegation-threatened Terrace Roosters, who won the first three games. But poor finishing let them down, and Dreamers took eight in a row for victory.

Treehouse A should hold on to fourth spot, despite suffering a loss against Rewind A. Both teams played well over the first section, sharing the four frames, but Rewind A put in a strong performance in the middle frames, Lee completed a hat-trick of wins to take the points for Rewind.

Palms B have secured a top-five finish after playing two games this week.

They were in action on Monday against Bluebell A and were made to work hard for their win. They then travelled to Los Abrigos on Tuesday to play The Phoenix, and a strong start gave them a 6-2 advantage.

But The Phoenix really did rise from the flames as they took the final four frames for a well-deserved point.

division 1 ResultS

Bluebell A Dreamers A Gaffers A Rewind A Tenerife Hammers A Terrace Bantams The Phoenix Bluebell A

4-8 8-4 11 - 1 7-5 7-5 5-7 6-6 5-7

Phoenix Potters Terrace Roosters Tenerife Hammers C Treehouse A Exiles A Gaffers B Palms Bar B Palms Bar B

division 2 ResultS Hoppys B Tenerife Pool Tables The Crown B Treehouse B Splash Bar

3-9 4-8 7-5 8-4 5-7

Picasso’s A Rewind Rewired Splash Bar Bluebell B Hoppys B

division 2 Table Table

P

1 Rewind Rewired

28 20

2

6 228 108 120 62

2 The Crown B

25 19

3

3 197 103 94 60

A +- PTS

division 1 Table

W D

L

F

A

+- PTS

Table

P W D L F

3 Picasso’s A

27 19

3

5 201 123 78 60

1 Gaffers A

25 21

3

1 209 91 118 66

4 Bluebell B

28 17

2

9 199 137 62 53

2 Tenerife Hammers A

26 19

4

3 185 127 58

61

5 Splash Bar

30 16

5

9 207 153 54 53

3 Dreamers A

25 18

4

3 178 122 56

58

6 Treehouse B

26 15

5

6 174 138

36 50

4 Treehouse A

26 15

6

5 184 128 56

51

7 Tenerife Pool Tables

28 12

4

12 182 154

28 40

5 Palms Bar B

26 14

5

7 175 137 38

47

8 Hoppys B

28

9

2

17 137 199 -62 29

6 Rewind A

24 11

2

11 149 139 10

35

9 Hoppys A

28

6

3

19 131 205 -74 21

7 Exiles A

26 11

2

13 145 167 -22 35

10 Dreamers B

30

3

0

27 82

278 -196 9

8 Phoenix Potters

26

9

6

11 149 163 -14 33

11 Sabores

28

2

1

25 98

238 -140 7

9 Gaffers B

26

8

8

10 151 161 -10 32

10 The Phoenix

25

8

5

12 143 157 -14 29

11 Terrace Bantams

26

8

3

15 146 166 -20 27

12 Palms Bar A

26

7

3

16 127 185 -58 24

test, with both teams in fine form and sharing the first two sessions.

Greg then edged Crown B in front, only for John to hit back for Splash.

John put Crown B back in front, and it was down to Alex and Craig in the last frame.

Alex is a shrewd player, and his experience told as he held off Craig to take a narrow win for Crown B. That was Splash Bar’s second game of the week and it just wasn’t to be for them because they lost against Hoppy’s B on Monday by the same scoreline.

The following night, Hoppy’s B hosted Picasso’s A, who main-

13 Bluebell A

27

6

1

20 134 190 -56 19

14 Terrace Roosters

26

6

1

19 113 199 -86 19

15 Tenerife Hammers C 26

4

3

19 128 184 -56 15

Bluebell A, also lost on Tuesday to Phoenix Potters.

Down on Amarilla Golf, Terrace Bantams hosted Gaffers B for the third time this season - the previous two matches being drawn.

Bantams were 6-2 down and, when they took the next three frames, it looked as though another draw was on the cards. Up last came Adi against Wilson. Adi

missed a vital shot and Wilson wrapped up the points for Gaffers B. Rewind Rewired, who lead the way in Division Two, picked up another three points at Tenerife Pool Tables.

But they’re not the bookies’ favourites because Crown B have some winnable games in hand, and they welcomed Splash Bar to Valle San Lorenzo.

It was an excellent con-

tained their title charge. Hoppy’s just couldn’t replicate their form as Picasso’s raced into a 6-0 lead. The home side’s Terry beat Wayne to put a frame on the board for Hoppy’s, but Ken beat Alan and it was game over … another strong performance and good win for Fran and her boys.

Treehouse B, in with a good chance of a top-five finish as they have games in hand over Splash Bar, moved closer after beating Bluebell B. It took them to within three points of their opponents in fourth spot, so they could even finish higher!

Oasis Fm Fantasy League

Crafy Retberg’s wild stroke THE FA Cup quarterfinals were played over the weekend, so there was a limited Premier League programme.

And made picking a team in the Oasis Fm Fantasy Football League even more of a challenge.

With few teams in action, nobody really made a big splash with the week’s point-scoring team. Norwich had two entries after a great draw against Man City, who themselves featured one player.

Spurs and Swansea matched Norwich with two apiece, and the rest came from Leicester, Bournemouth, Stoke and Southampton.

In the Oasis Fm Fantasy League, it’s looking like a one-horserace as Frank Devaney extended his lead to 69 points.

There was some change below him, though, as Jamie Palmer crept up to second, with David Retberg and Warren Wilson coming from seventh

and eighth respectively to third and fourth.

Their fresh challenge left Trevor Passingham and Lee Walsh dropping out of the top five.

Retberg’s rise was down to playing a wildcard master stroke. He completely changed his team to ensure all 11 point-scorers were involved in the weekend’s fixtures, his top scorers being Jamie Vardy and Harry Kane. This earned him a massive 79 points and the Team

of the Week accolade.

With not much change at the top, it gave me a chance to look towards the bottom of the table.

The wooden-spoon spot (98th) is currently occupied by Towlers Tornados, managed by John Towler.

What surprised me were three names down there who are sports fans and avid football followers, including Kev Heggs (84th), who can’t replicate his beloved Leicester, Wez Harper (89th) who needs tips

from Slaven Bilić. and Dave ‘Bubbles’ Berry

(93rd).Come on boys, pull your socks up!

Fantasy Football League

1. Baines on Toast

Frank Devaney

59 1720

2. SpArTaNs

Jamie Palmer

56 1651

3. Untouchables

David Retberg

79 1648

4. Crossfire Hurricanes Warren Wilson

67 1632

5. Just 4fun

Paul Plowman

49 1629

6. Passo united

Trevor Passingham

42 1626

7. Frankenstein united Lee Walsh

28 1618

8. Goldpack

Matthew Potts

61 1612

9. Deedees hotspurs

Elodie Townsend

65 1605

10. Neils Gooners

Neil Lobban

29 1604

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18th March - 24th March 2016

53 CW

A night to remember!

THE annual Memorial Trophy darts knockout competition is also a charity fund-raiser in memory of those who, sadly, are no longer with us.

All the entry fees, and all monies arising from the mammoth raffle on Presentation Night will

be going to a very worthy cause.

No surprise, then, that the event is really well supported, and no surprise, either, that the best part of 80 players turned out at Nauta Bar last Friday to do battle for the Division 1, Division 2 and Ladies’ Trophies.

Most of the Division 1 big-hitters came out in the bottom half of the draw, leaving the

top half wide open. But that won’t detract from a fine effort by Gaffers’ boy Joe, who romped through the top half to secure his place in the final.

Equally delighted, and probably more shocked, was Steve Conradi, of Phoenix Bar fame, who came through a tough draw to book his spot in the Division 1 showdown.

The keenly-contested Division 2 section

had 25 players involved and again, the big-hitters made it so tough to pick the winners.

But a fine performance by Summerlands’ Adam saw him through to the final, where he will meet Spear Chuckers’ Rob in what promises to be an excellent battle.

Lastly, and, of course, by no means least, 23 ladies lined up in

the all-girl section.

The early rounds saw a couple of favourites, Waterfall’s Lynn and Nauta Bar’s Julie, take early baths, leaving Playgirls’ Shar to make her way through the top half of the draw and all the way to the final.

There, Shar will meet Jo, the Pas O Nadas’ Italian starlet, who saw off players from Ourplace and Palms Pool bar en route.

Many thanks to Debbie and Ray, of Nauta Bar, for hosting the evening - and for their fine hospitality.

So, here’s the Presentation Night line-up, and good luck to you all: Division 1: Joe (Gaffers) v Steve (Phoenix) Division 2: Adam (Summerlands) v Rob (Spear Chuckers) Ladies: Shar (Ourplace) v Jo (Pas O Nadas B)

Serrano brings home the bacon Leganes 0 CD Tenerife 1

By Roscoe TENERIFE’S fine win over the league leaders not only brought a year-long unbeaten record to an end, but also brought a large smile to the face of a man under pressure.

As I wrote last week, Leganes had not lost in front of their home fans for a year, but I felt Tenerife would be set up to cause them the world of trouble. And did they ever!

Not going all “Aftertime”, but this column also stated in November that the team needed some fresh legs in midfield.

Director of Football Alfonso Serrano has been slaughtered for some his signings over the last couple of transfer windows. But even he could see that the engine room needed refuelling, so he went out and got Thierry Moutinho and Javi Lara.

Both were a gamble,

but at the moment it is looking like a masterstroke. It was Lara’s free-kick - a sweet strike - which, ultimately, separated the sides.

Tenerife have not really had a free-kick specialist since Luismi Loro left two years ago. Well, Lara has the job now!

Moutinho has been quite a revelation. He was top-drawer again, and let’s not forget young left-back Saul

Garcia. although I still think he has a lot to learn. Work needs to be done on his positioning especially - but again, he has done a job.

That’s three improvements, and Serrano should enjoy the praise while it’s available.

Ten points out of a possible 12 have ended any relegation concerns and, in this strangest of leagues, thoughts now go towards the P word.

No side are in better form, and Tenerife are just five points off the play-offs.

A glance at the fixture list shows they tackle three sides in the top seven

in the next four weeks.

And Tenerife will not fear any of them.

This Sunday, a rare 11am kick-off in front of the national Canal Plus TV cameras, brings Real Zaragoza to town. They are the biggest side in this division and are desperate to get back to La Liga.

They are going nicely and are unbeaten in Position

seven matches. That I’ve seen him a few said, they have not won times and he can be a away since the Advent real handful when in the calendar went up in ear- mood. ly December.

Also, look out for MaFormer Tenerife cap- nuel Lanzarote, who tain Marc Bertran, who nearly joined Tenerife returns to the Helio- in the summer. Real are doro, will get a good re- a good side, but with a very young defence, ception.

And there could be a Bertran aside.

It should be quite a start for Dongou, who has recently joined on contest - but one Tenerloan from Barcelona. ife can certainly win!

Points PLD Won Draw Lost F A

1

CD Leganés

52

29

14

10

5

41

22

2

Deportivo Alavés

49

29

14

7

8

33

27

3

Real Oviedo

46

29

12

10

7

41

34

4

Club Atlético Osasuna

46

29

13

7

9

33

30

5

Córdoba CF

46

29

14

4

11

40

38

6

Real Zaragoza

45

29

12

9

8

33

25

7

Gimnàstic de Tarragona

45

29

11

12

6

36

30

8

Elche CF

43

29

11

10

8

28

31

9

AD Alcorcón

42

29

11

9

9

32

29

10

CD Lugo

42

29

10

12

7

34

34

11

Real Valladolid CF

41

29

10

11

8

34

29

12

Girona FC

40

29

10

10

9

31

24

13

CD Mirandés

40

29

10

10

9

43

37

14

CD Tenerife

40

29

10

10

9

35

35

15

CD Numancia de Soria

38

29

8

14

7

39

36

16

SD Huesca

33

28

7

12

9

27

30

17

SD Ponferradina

32

29

8

8

13

29

36

18

UD Almería

30

29

6

12

11

27

36

19

RCD Mallorca

30

28

7

9

12

23

32

20

Albacete Balompié

26

29

6

8

15

27

42

21

UE Llagostera

25

29

7

4

18

26

40

22

Athletic Club B

21

29

5

6

18

21

36

CW 54

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18th March - 24th March 2016

Premier Division preview

Wenger: A time for change

By Adi Benson THERE is still all to play for in the Premier League, but the title race and relegation battle are now being contested by fewer teams, which adds to the excitement.

Everton v Arsenal Despite Roberto Martinez saying otherwise, Everton have had a poor season and look as though they could finish in the bottom half of the table. The fans are disappointed and, with fresh investment coming in, they are questioning whether he is the manager to take them further. But they need to hang on to Lukaku, which will be easier said than done.

With Arsenal’s season seemingly over again, I have to agree with fans who want a change in management. Arsene Wenger has been a great servant to the club, but they are not moving forward.

It’s time to bring in a younger manager and, maybe, move Arsene upstairs to guide him.

My prediction: Draw Last season: 2-2 Chelsea v West Ham Chelsea haven’t lost in 10 League games, enabling them to climb into 10th spot.

However, there seems to be discord among players - and a lack of European football next season could set them back. Whoever comes in next season as the new manager will face a tough, rebuilding job.

If it weren’t for their dip in form over the festive period, Hammers could be in the top four. But they are still in a great position and, should Man City or Arsenal slip up this weekend, they are waiting to pounce.

They play without fear, attack with pace, and will cause the Chelsea defence enough problems to believe they can win at Stamford Bridge.

Prediction: Away win Last season: 2-0 Crystal Palace v Leicester Palace started the season with promise as a difficult team to play against, and picking up worthy points. But they have recently gone backwards and, should any of the five teams below them put a decent run together, they could still be dragged into a relegation battle. They need their attacking players back to their best.

Meanwhile, the Leicester juggernaut continues to roll on and they are five points clear with just eight games to play. They need to keep their feet on the ground now and try not to think too much about the title.

They ground out a midweek result against Newcastle, and may need a few more similar performances between now and the end of the season.

Prediction: Away win Last season: 2-0 Watford v Stoke Watford are on a poor run of league form, with just two wins from the last 10 games, but they will be full of confidence after winning at Arsenal in the FA Cup. They will obviously be looking to take that form into this

game. Ighalo is a doubt, which means Troy Deeney may have to handle the goal threat on his own.

Stoke have fared slightly better in the league of late, moving up to ninth in the table.

But to have an outside chance of a Europa League place, they need the teams above them to drop points. Watford is a hard ground to get a result, but Stoke have the attacking players to do it.

Prediction: Home win Last season: N/A West Brom v Norwich The Baggies, happy with their results over the last few games, will see this as another big opportunity to add to their points tally.

Berahino and Rondon have worked well together, causing problems for opponents, and they will relish a chance to wreak even more damage.

Norwich have been very poor lately, losing eight out of their last 10 games and drawing the other two, but the 0-0 against Man City merely papered over cracks. That is relegation form and, because of it, they find themselves in the bottom three.

Unless they halt the

slide now and start getting results, they will be back in the Championship before they know it.

Prediction: Home win Last season: N/A Swansea v Aston Villa Swansea know that a win will, more or less, keep them safe. And you can guarantee they will attack from the first whistle in search of early goals. They were unlucky against Bournemouth last week and probably felt they earned a draw.

But that’s in the past, and I’m sure they will be mentally prepared for this clash.

Villa must be down!

There is simply no spark to suggest a fightback is possible. Yet over the last 10 games, Norwich have actually been the League’s worst team. Villa have taken eight points out of a possible 30, against the Canaries’ two. Maybe they can do enough to avoid the wooden spoon.

Prediction: Home win Last season: 1-0 Newcastle v Sunderland The Tyneside derby is always fiercelycontested, and this one has even extra spice. Newcastle, with new manager Rafa

Benitez at the helm, know that a win will lift them out of the relegation places and push their rivals into them. They showed an improvement during the narrow Leicester defeat, but they’ll need to step up several more levels for this one.

Sunderland also need a win to lift them four points clear of the Magpies and another step closer to safety.

They are in better form than Newcastle, but that will count for nothing. Clear heads are needed, and it is vital they stay clear of trouble. But this game normally produces a red card!

Prediction: Home win Last season: 0-1 Southampton v Liverpool Saints, still with Europa League ambitions, need a win to stop Liverpool moving ahead of them.

They have a decent defensive record, which has helped them get their recent results back on track, including a good win against Stoke, which is never an easy place to take points. And Graziano Pelle is also back among the goals, which is a bonus.

Liverpool have not lost any of their last four League games, but they may be weary tired after their secondleg, Europa League clash at Old Trafford tonight (Thursday).

They lead 2-0 and Roberto Firmino is showing the sort of form that persuaded the club to pay close on £28m for him.

And, after recharging his batteries here in Tenerife, he will be raring to go.

Prediction: Away win Last season: 0-2

Spurs v Bournemouth Spurs need to keep winning to put the pressure on Leicester, but they have looked tired lately. They beat Aston Villa, which wasn’t much of a test, but this will be more exacting. They are out of the Europa League now, so they can concentrate energies on their title pursuit.

Bournemouth have had an up-and-down time, but last week’s win over Swansea cemented their Premier League status. Now, they want to finish off the season in style, especially as they are now just two points off the top half of the table. Climbing higher would be some achievement.

Prediction: Draw Last season: N/A Man City v Man Utd With City managing a draw only against struggling Norwich, their title ambitions were surely ended because they are now 12 points behind the leaders. But this is a big match for them as they bid to ensure a Champions League place. If they can beat their rivals, they will take a step closer - and also end United’s topfour hopes.

As much as this derby game will be about bragging rights, a United win would move them to within a point of City - and they could even help FA Cup rivals West Ham move into the top four. This will be a tough game for them, especially given their recent form.

But sometimes, these derby games can bring out the best in a team and, with the players United have, a win is more than possible.

Prediction: Draw Last season: 1-0

Nandu are smash hit!

NANDU’s big trip to Valladolid, in northern Spain, arrived and the rugby club’s 40 children, aged 9-18, were eager to play against some of the best teams in the country.

The Under-17s played against El Salvador,

ranked Spain’s second-best team. The home players, rarely on the losing side, were primed to make mincemeat of a team from the Canaries.

How misjudged they proved to because Nandu smashed through

the El Salvador line to score after five minutes - and never looked back. A calm and collected performance enabled Nandu to win 56-7, which was certainly an eye-opener for the home side.

Special mention must

go to Axel (Moran) and Facundo (Olivera), who scored their first tries for the club.

And how the entire Nandu team celebrated.

The younger Nandu boys, coached by Gotzon and German,

played with ambition and skill to compete against teams who have been together for years.

They all enjoyed the experience of playing against strong opposition, and showing off their skills in

front of their parents.

The weekend was all about building memories and forming bonds that make Nandu such a strong outfit. And every player represented his club, their parents and rugby with pride.

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