Cw issue 969

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The Only Tenerife English Weekly Newspaper!

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FARCE! Issue 969 2nd September - 8th September 2016

SPAIN’S politicians are now the laughing stock of Europe - and probably the world - after Wednesday’s farcical day in Parliament, which could signal the pantomime of a third General Election on Christmas Day. Continued on Page 3

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Sánchez spikes Rajoy bid

Continued from Front Before the second public vote in June, all the parties and their senior politicians promised to respect the will of the people, and find a way to form a working government.

None of them wanted a third election, and the shame of the country going a whole year without an elected and working government.

Yet that is what we are facing after some shameful, downright embarrassing squabbles at what should have been Mariano Rajoy’s inauguration.

Two weeks ago, Rajoy and his Popular Party ceded to a list of demands from the Cuidadanos party, which would see that party backing the incumbent leader in his quest to retain power.

It would put them just short of the majority needed, but many experts thought that common sense would see them over the line.

There was extreme pressure on the PSOE and Podemos to abstain so the country could get a government - and sort out a much-needed national budget.

And despite saying that they wanted an end to the impasse, both parties kept hands tight in pockets.

Rajoy’s failure to secure congressional support he is six short of the 176 he needs for an overall majority - is a disaster for the country.

The 85 Socialist Party (PSOE) deputies (MPs) all voted No, honouring their leader Pedro Sánchez, despite pleas from Rajoy to allow him to form a government, “for the greater good and for the good of Spain”.

Rajoy gets another bite at the cherry today, Friday. But as we go to press, despite pressure from the media, social networks and the public, it is highly unlikely anything will change.

Even just 11 abstentions would be enough for Rajoy, but with Spain having a proportional representation system, and not first-past-thepost MPs, it would be career suicide for an MP to abstain.

The debate before the investiture vote was straight out of the playground. Rajoy opened proceedings with a strong message to his opponents saying: “If

Congress fails to install this, then those who do so threaten Spain’s economic recovery.

“Recently, we have seen unemployment fall to 20% from a peak of 27%. Is there someone here who is thinking about calling Spaniards to the ballot boxes once more? And how many times are they prepared to do so?”

Rajoy, as acting Prime Minister, knows how important it is to get a budget set, agreed and implemented. The European Union is putting huge pressure on Spain to sort its act out.

And Rajoy is seething because, quite rightly, he feels he has won two elections.

He won June’s ballot by a bigger margin than last December, and the one crumb of comfort is that a third election might see a small-enough swing to get him over the line.

After Rajoy, the PSOE leader came out swinging. Pedro Sanchez said: “We need a Government, but not a bad government. This government brings corruption, bad economic management and cutbacks.”

It brought applause from his party, but

Sanchez, who is deeply unpopular in his own party and has a low approval rating with the public, really is trying everything to get his enemy, Rajoy, out.

“It’s a lie that you’re going to fight corruption, because you people are corruption,” he told Rajoy. “Nobody doubts that we will always be standing on the other side; that we are your antagonists. I am proud of that, Mr Rajoy.”

Strong stuff, but not a view backed up by Albert Rivera, the Ciudadanos leader who has agreed a deal which includes some really big, anti-corruption measures with Rajoy.

He said: “In life, you have to choose between the bad and the less bad.

Sometimes in life, you have to work with what we have out there - and because there is no alternative.

“Those who criticise a minority government of the PP - I ask them, ‘What do they want? A third or a fourth election’? Where does it stop?”

Sounding more and more like a seasoned politician rather than a mainstream newbie, Rivera reached out to

the opponents saying: “There is no alternative.

No new government with new people. I will not say anything you do not know. I feel it would be better for Spain to have a new president and a clean government without corruption problems.

That is why the PP and us have agreed six agreements against corruption to ensure that politics change. This (the investiture) must happen, or else we are blocking and stopping Spain.”

For his part Pablo Iglesias, head of the antiausterity Podemos party, thanked Pedro Sánchez for refusing to support a PP government.

“I understand it cannot have been easy, and I thank you for it,” he said.

“Despite our enormous differences and the mutual mistrust, I think the

political and electoral reality must push us to seek a different agreement.”

Iglesias’s urging for PSOE to force a third election will surely come back to bite him on the electoral bottom. His party suffered a slump in the last election, and the polls show it is faring even worse now.

Iglesias’s belief that he is right, and his pride, are hurting the country.

Ditto Sanchez’s determination for Spain to be led by “Anyone But Rajoy”.

The electorate has spoken twice, and nobody expects anything but another Rajoy win on Christmas Day. The only question is: “Can he win big enough to get the majority, or will the King have to step in and rewrite the Constitution?”

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Race-track dream is a reality, at last!

THE waiting is finally over, and work has begun on the Tenerife race-track. It was first mooted at the end of the Sixties, the first stone has now been laid … and it’s all systems go!

“This is not just a start to work, but a reality,” said Tenerife Sports minister Cristo Pérez.

“The dream materialises and we should all enjoy this historic moment.”

He added: “This is the beginning of the day that Tenerife joined the world’s leaders in motor racing.”

Pérez laid the Motor Circuit’s ceremonial first stone on Monday at Los Duques de Atogo, in Granadilla de Abona. The workmen moved in the following morning.

With a total investment of 38,830,084 euros, management company Onda Rossa revealed that the circuit itself would cost 21.2m and the access a cool 2.6m.

Building company Axia SRL will have 21 months to complete this infrastructure, and, said Cabildo President Carlos Alonso: “That will be very difficult work, but I have confidence that everything will be done on time.

“The track has been a dream for so long, and now it actually starts. I have confidence in this project and the dream will become reality.”

Onda Rossa manager Ricardo Ferretti told the press about the importance of the infrastructure, and the Island’s economy, adding: “Everything is in place for this project.”

Alonso and Ferretti both spoke passionately

about the plan, which, said the Cabildo chief, “has been about 50 years in the making”.

Former Canarian President Adan Martin and ex-Cabildo President Ricardo Melchior, along with former Councillors Fernando Capdevila Dámaso Arteaga, Eduardo

Pintado and present Santa Cruz Mayor Jose Manuel Bermúdez all worked hard on this project for so many years.

Granadilla de Abona Mayor Juan Rodriguez, said the onus was now on the Cabildo to get everything else in place.

“The northern link,

the expansion of a third lane of the TF-1 … all this must now happen,” he added: “It’s a project that depends on the Canary Islands Government and the Cabildo getting an agreement in place, and then getting it started.”

The Centre for Motor Sports - the track’s

original name - was first signed off on 25th March 1995, but there were plenty of delays.

Final approval was the granted on 12th March 2008, right in the middle of the financial crisis. The project was shelved until last year, when funding was found.

The racing circuit,

to be located in Los Duques, will occupy 1,322,341sq/m, of which an asphalt circuit will be contained in a 350,000sq/m area.

The track itself will be 4,068m long, with a main straight of 819m and featuring 10 lefthand curves, and five to the right.

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Brexit bringing in even more tourists

BREXIT has far from put Britons off their love of holidays in Spain and the Canaries, despite weakening their pound against the euro.

In fact, business is brisker than ever!

Spain’s hotels reported a 15% increase in arrivals from Britain last month, compared with the previous year, according to the latest National Statistics Institute (INE) figures.

And the UK remains, by far, the top source of visitors to Spain, occupying 27.4% of hotel rooms.

Spain’s tourism sector is undoubtedly heading for a record number of arrivals this summer, boosted for the sixth consecutive year by ongoing terrorist and security fears in other Mediterranean countries such as Tunisia, Egypt and Turkey.

The increase in hotel reservations has been

matched by longer stays and higher prices, records the INE This anticipated summer boom follows a record number of arrivals between January and April - some 18.1 million, which is up 13% on the same 2015 period.

“The outlook is spectacular,” says Ricard Santomà, dean of the Tourism faculty at Barcelona’s Universidad Ramón Llull.

“Failing a catastrophe or some major security issue, we’ll beat last year’s record easily.”

He added that many airlines had lowered ticket prices to reflect the fall in oil prices.

Next week, the INE will publish figures on the total number of visitors to Spain in July, taking into account camp-sites, apartment sub-lets, and holiday homes.

The leap in UK visitor numbers for this year needs to be seen in the context of the Pound’s depreciation in the wake of the Brexit vote in June, says the INE. But the British are not

alone in choosing Spain for their summer holidays this year because there has been a 4.1% increase in visitors from Germany; an 8.8% hike from France; 3.8% from the Netherlands, and 3.2% from Italy.

The overall increase for July in hotel stays is 7.4%, against last year, matched by a 6.3% increase in euro revenue per room, up to 93.2%.

Despite the increased popularity of renting apartments through sites like Airbnb or home-swapping, Spain’s hotels have thrived in recent years, registering one record after another. In the first six months of 2016, overnight stays increased by 8.9% on the previous year.

The leap in UK visitor numbers for this year, says the INE, needs to be viewed in the context of the Pound’s depreciation in the wake of the Brexit vote In short, says the INE, the hotel sector has enjoyed a good July: the increase in hotel reservations being matched

Teachers now offered flexible class sessions P R I M A R Y schools in the Canaries can now choose between class sessions of 45 or 55 minutes in the new school year.

The Ministry of Education and Universities’ decision comes after pressure from teaching unions, who say that schools’ management want flexibility in the classroom.

The idea will give heads the opportunity

to change the duration of classes in certain subjects.

There will still be a minimum of 25 hours of teaching a week, plus two hours intended for recreation every day. But schools may set their projects with different durations for different teaching requirements.

Under the new regulation, the sessions will last 45 minutes, although schools may opt for 55-minute classes.

Mathematics, Spanish Language and Literature, along with a foreign language, “will

receive special consideration when setting the criteria for time-tabling”, says the Education Ministry.

“In addition, the time allocated to the teaching of different areas can be organised in such a way that allows favour to the teachingand-learning process.

This will help the development of skills for students.”

Some unions had expressed concern from teachers, who found it difficult to complete a proper teaching lesson in the time provided.

by longer stays and higher prices,.

Four-star hotels have made the most money from their rooms, registering an 8.6% increase on an average 102.40euro overnight stay.

Two-star hotels have put their daily prices up by just 4.4% to 62.10 euros. Five-star, top-ofthe-range hotels, which cost around 208.40 euros a night, raised their prices by 5.8% against the 2015 cost.

Interestingly, a global study, conducted by the World Economic Forum (WEF), finds that Spain has the most competitive tourism industry in the world.

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But there’s no rush…

NOBODY can accuse Tenerife residents of not planning for the future because, it appears, a large number of residents here have already planned for their death.

More than 25,000 of us have signed up for a 99year time-span for our coffins in the Island’s graveyards, which are managed by Cemeteries Tenerife SA (Ceten-

sa). Of that total, 9,254 are “full” adult burial units, in which the entire coffin is housed.

Of the others, 15,931 are what is known as “niches”, which are smaller areas, ideally suited for a number of urns. These are popular for families to use over the decades.

Selling prices, according to Cetensa, range between 1,8002,600 euros for 99-year “adult” areas, and from 500 and 600 euros for “niches” over the same period.

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Canary roads Hospitality sector staff “Dangerous” should be multi-lingual YOU must always take care when driving on the roads, especially in the Canary Islands, where there are a high number of “accident black spots”.

This week, the Directorate General of Traffic (DGT) launched a speed-control campaign to reduce accidents in these areas.

According to data handled by the DGT, the province of Santa Cruz de Tenerife has a total of 41 black spots, while Las Palmas has just nine. Of the official dangerous areas, there are 1,331 sections in Spain - 50 of them in the Canaries.

Within the DGT campaign is a plan to install

new, high-visibility signs on dangerous sections, which is seen a positive step. But according to Jesus Menendez, from the Association of Driving Canaria, the move doesn’t go far enough.

“Measures such as these will improve matters, but only temporarily, as they do not actually eliminate the black spots,” he said.

And Menendez argued: “We need more investment in roads. Take the curve of El Sauzal, where accidents - some of them fatal - are repeated every day.

“In my view, the problems in this section would be solved by extending deceleration and acceleration lanes.”

“Having a sign up in this point is like giving an aspirin to someone who just broke a leg.”

Police smash China racket SPANISH police have been celebrating their dismantling of a nationwide network which, it is alleged, faked contracts regularise the working status of Chinese immigrants in Spain.

Police arrested 57 people in Barcelona, Valencia, San Sebastian and Las Palmas, in the Canary Islands.

Chinese nationals, living in Spain illegally, were each said to have paid the ring 8,000 euros (£6,820) to obtain false contracts as domestic workers.

In return, they were given residency permits.

A Spanish police statement said: “They would return to Barcelona once they obtained a residency permit to work in the textile sector, without ever carrying out the job they were hired for.”

The ringleaders, a Chinese couple, allegedly paid employers between 1,500-2,000 euros for the contracts. And most of the employers said to be involved are linked to Lanzarote’s hotel trade.

Chinese immigrants are the fifth-biggest foreign community in Spain, with almost 170,000 people, according to the National Statistics Institute.

TOURISM has been the main plank of the Canarian economy since the Sixties. But there is strong evidence to suggest that the Canarians do not prepare for it properly.

So say local entrepreneurs, who admit they have to resort to foreign workers, not Canarians, because they know other languages and have the service skills for their customers, who mainly, come from northern Europe.

This is proved by cold, hard facts. In 2015, 24% of new contracts in the Canaries’ hospitality industry were given to workers from outside the Canary Islands.

And the main reason is that they could speak several languages, says Pablo Gonzalez, manager of Ashotel and the Extrahotelera Association of Tenerife, La Palma, La Gomera and El Hierro.

With data from the Canarian Employment Observatory (Obecan) in 2015, some 232.191

contracts were signed in the hospitality sector of the Archipelago, of which 20,604 foreigners came from the European Union, with non-EUs numbering 35,370.

And, it seems, the training scenario is still not getting through. In April this year, 62.6% of those registered in the Employment Offices in the Canary Islands, who said they were looking for work in the hospitality sector, could not speak a second language.

Gonzalez said: “Entrepreneurs in the

tourism sector are very aware of this problem in the Canaries, and have to resort to foreign workers.

“For hoteliers it is not ideal, because newcomers might have no long-term plan for a life here. Often, they want to return to their country. Ideally, we would hire residents. But they do not have sufficient training in languages.”

Ashotel has, no doubt, claimed that the Canary Islands Employment Service (SCE) needs a more effective training measure, which will see

Canarians learning foreign languages.

Gonzalez added: “We are now receiving 13-14 million tourists or more, a year, yet many Canarians leave secondary education not understanding English.

“Language training should not be limited to English because we also have to understand German, French, Italian and Scandinavian languages. These are the languages spoken in the countries from which the bulk of tourists the Canary Islands receives come from.”

No rental reaction

PRIVATE renting of apartments and villas is still a political hot potato. And for all the recent promises on crackdowns, it seems that little is actually being done.

The Canary Islands Government has been

able to prosecute just six cases this year in relation to the illegal rental of holiday accommodation.

Four of these fines were for rentals in Fuerteventura and two were imposed on Gran Canaria properties, according to the Tourism Ministry.

The figures contrast with the allegations made a few years ago by

groups of owners, who claimed that sanctions for this activity reached nearly 7,500.

The uncertain legal situation of rental accommodation in the Archipelago, with a decree in force but which the Government is committed to change, explains this sudden halt of legal activity, say hotel owners.

Fines for letting holi-

day rentals illegally can reach 60,000 euros, but the Association of Canarian Holiday rentals (Ascav) says the lack of legal notices is down to common sense.

The Government believes that this illegal sector is worth around 1.5bn euros every year, and that up to 100m euros in taxation is being avoided.

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The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

The end … maybe!

SPAIN at times can resemble a Lenny Kravitz song. “It ain’t over til it’s over” is very true.

Mañana syndrome is well-documented and ingrained in the countries DNA. Take the ongoing saga that is the Spanish electoral system. We have had two elections, and twice the winner wasn’t crowned. It’s pathetic.

It’s all a bit 2010 when a Labour voter chirped up: “We haven’t lost because they haven’t won.”

Except that Gordon Brown had finished second and, within a few days, he was out of 10 Downing Street.

Quite why Pedro Sanchez and his PSOE party want to drag it out until Christmas, and even then there would not be an investiture until January, when he knows he will only lose again, is madness.

It smacks of a lawyer who files appeals and motions like confetti in the hope that something falls his way.

For a long time, it seemed as though we would never see a racetrack in Tenerife. Re-

member, this project was first considered, and not flung on the scrap-heap, 50 years ago.

Tenerife, and the South especially, looked completely different back then. It would have been easy to get the land and the infrastructure in place. So what held it back?

Take your pick, from paperwork, self-promotion, pride, money, tourism, blinkered vision, political squabbling and buck-passing.

Recently, a lot of people have worked really hard on the project, and I look forward to the day in 2018 when the ribbon is cut.

But this is Spain and, more importantly, this is Tenerife. There are so many things that can go wrong. And that’s just when the plans get off the ground.

The Tenerife Ring Road should have been finished years ago; ditto numerous new building projects … and then there is the mythical train line, linking South with North.

I hope I’m wrong, but I feel we will be in to the next decade before we smell rubber on asphalt!

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

Food seventh heaven!

CANARIAN potatoes, Iberian ham, Galician octopus, paella, tortilla chips, the Cantabrian pasiega quesada and Murcia paparajotes - these are the 7 Gastronomic Wonders of Spain.

That’s according to a new, major, online poll, which attracted more than 60,000 votes.

The initiative was created to promote the Spanish gastronomy heritage which, it is hoped, will get UNESCO certification.

This has already been achieved by the Japanese, Mexican and French and it marks the

importance of a nation’s “cultural expression with historical roots”.

There were 20 dishes in the final vote, including Andalusian gazpacho, Asturian bean stew, Madrid stew and manchego ratatouille.

Sonia Rodriguez, the project head, said: “In August, we achieved a move to get debate about the national cui-

sine. This has been one of the most-discussed topics online, and in the media.

“It recognises an element and a brand which our country sometimes doesn’t get.”

The official website of the 7 Gastronomic Wonders of Spain has received over 400,000 visits, including 18% from abroad.

Going bananas for bananas!

THE Canarian banana is flying off the shelf as 2016 turns into the best year ever. So far, 282 million kilos have left the growers and been sold all over the world.

The Association of Banana Producers of the Canary Islands (Asprocan) reported that the favourable weather conditions, and improved crop quality, have led “to an unprecedented volume of sales. Up to

the end of week 33, we have distributed 282m kilos - eight million kilos more than the previous record of 2010.”

In addition to the record crop, an overseas sales’ record has also been set. More than 270m kilograms were sold on the foreign market (including Spain) with 247 on the mainland and the Balearic Islands. That is 23m kilograms more than at the same stage in 2015.

Asprocan President Henry Sicily said it was impossible to sell all the production, but socalled “wastage” was very small.

The joys of living on an island led to 3.2m kilograms being gifted to food banks, 4.4m kilograms were used to feed livestock on the Canary Islands and 900,000 kilograms went towards farmers’ compost.

According to Sicily, the

increased production “occurs against what is, in general, a very negative fruit scenario” He added: “There has been a fall in fruit consumption in Spanish households by 10% in the last three years.

But banana sales are increasing.”

Canarian bananas also achieved another record, with a 75% market share in the Spanish Peninsula and Balearic Islands.

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Why Taz really is a genuine high-flier!

By John Hennessey

WHEN you’re black, regarded as a titch and are teased regularly, it would be no surprise if you felt somewhat downtrodden. But not this handsome, happy-go -lucky man, who walks around with a smile on his face.

That’s because Tawanda Chieza, known as Taz, is flying high every day … after becoming one of the youngest commercial airline pilots in Europe, at the age of 20. Six years on and he still retains his zest for the job, and always will!

Taz, born in Zimbabwe, South Africa, schooled from the age of 12 in Dunfermline, Scotland, and now living in Adeje, has actually been flying since he was 18, when he gained a private flying licence.

He took a major leap forward a little over a year later when he secured his commercial licence, spending three years with Ryanair before switching to the rapidly-growing, lowcost airline Norwegian four years ago.

And he still has to pinch himself to believe it’s true. No wonder Taz sees himself as one of the luckiest men around.

“Many people go to work to collect their pay-cheque,” he said.

“But I enjoy what I’m doing for a living so much - it’s more like a hobby than work!”

It’s not quite as simple as that, however, because you can’t just knock on an airline’s door and ask if you can fly a plane.

It takes huge periods of studying and learning to get that far, but, incredibly, Taz decided his destiny when he was six years old.

“My auntie, who was a pilot, was flying the

family from Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe, to Gatwick, and she invited me into the cockpit,” he recalled.

“I knew, there and then, that it was what I wanted to do when I grew up - the lights, the buttons, the whole thing in that cockpit. It was magical.

“Even at that age I was hooked, and I never wavered. My friends at school all laughed when I told them, but that only intensified my ambition. And, as I got older, it made me think, ‘Come hell or

high water, I will do it’.”

His parents even bought him a home flight-simulator, which he took to in a flash, increasing his appetite for flying by the day.

After leaving school with a fistful of academic qualifications the Scottish equivalent of O-levels and A-levels - Taz earned a place at London Metropolitan University, studying Aviation Management and Operations for two years.

“It was the only university I could find which had a course to

suit me, and I managed to blag a distinction,” he said modestly.

Then followed a tough period during the recession because there were simply no airline jobs, - or any other jobs, for that matter.

Finally, after many refusals from airline companies all over the world, he was at least granted an interview following a “major sacrifice” by his parents, who stumped up 27,500 euros, And to his relief, Taz secured a position with Ryanair at Stansted

airport. “I was so hungry for a job, and they knew it,” he said. “It meant everything to me, and them!

“That interview was the most nerve-racking day of my life. I knew it was now or never because jobs were so scarce. But I must have said something right because I was taken on.”

Even then, he had to endure hour upon hour of daily training and learning before he was considered fit to be a co-pilot … especially taking-off and landing routines, one after the other, in an empty plane so they became second nature.

Finally, he was able to take full control of a plane, complete with passengers, which was always his ultimate goal.

Taz had arrived and the contrast was crystal clear: it was the happiest day of his life!

“I actually walked around London all day long in my uniform because I felt so proud,” he said. “I was quite chuffed with myself!”

Today, he flies all over the world, from his Tenerife South base which he calls home, and never a day goes by that he doesn’t thank his lucky stars.

“I know flying is a big responsibility,” he said.

“But as long as I know that I’m safe in the air, the passengers are also safe. And that’s what matters!”

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One of the worst places to work in THE Canary Islands is one of the worst regions in which to work, according to a new report from Adecco on opportunities and satisfaction.

Tough times ahead for wine producers TENERIFE’S wine producers are in for a tough few months because this year’s vintage in the Island’s five wine designations have produced a poor crop.

The projected return is just 50%, and the grape harvest is being described as poor.

Enrique Alfonso, President of the Association of Winemakers and Winegrowers of Tenerife, described this vintage as “bad” and added: “In win-

ter, it was not cold enough and natural water was scarce. That is a problem, although it’s worse in the North than in the South.

“But there were also problems with the ash and moisture, which damages the grapes a lot. The highlands have escaped and, it seems, Vilaflor.”

A representative of the Altos of Trevejos winery said: “The year was poor, and August was too hot. This has not helped at all.”

He added that in areas like Vilaflor, “the fall is 20%, and this is the least-affected area of Tenerife. But we are

not surprised to hear that there are declines in other regions of up to 50%.”

Meanwhile, Maria de la Paz Gil Diaz, manager of the Control Board of the Designation of Origin Tacoronte Acentejo, said: “After 10 days visiting all the farms, we can say the forecast estimate is that the full harvest will be 50% - the conditions were quite adverse for all.”

In some areas, added Gil Diaz: “The harvest has been delayed by about 10 days. Last year at this time, we had already started collecting grapes in the

lower part of Tegueste and in the coastal area of the Tacoronte Valle de Guerra and Pris, especially the white varieties.

“We estimate that in early September, we will begin the harvest in the region. But I still think that, on the whole, the quality will be maintained. The bar is still high. It’s perfectly healthy, with optimal ripening grape.”

But he admitted: “This year’s harvest will be shorter, but the product will maintain the quality. We must accept that this may not be the best year and take it on the chin.”

This survey covers the second quarter of 2016 and shows unrest in local employment, which has a 4.9 rating, against 5.9 a year ago.

By contrast, the Community of Madrid, Aragon and Cantabria are the best communities for working in, with satisfaction numbers at 6.5, 6.3 and 5.9 respectively.

Only eleven autonomous communities showed an annual rating increase, with Aragon climbing up to second in the satisfaction table after in-

creasing its score by 1.1 points.

Castilla-La Mancha remained in last place with 4.4 points, preceded by the Canaries and Galicia, which has 5.1.

Meanwhile, the report also showed where the money earned in Spain went. The highest average wages were those in the Community of Madrid, with 1,944 euros per month, the Basque Country (1,935) and Navarra (1,736); while the lowest was Extremadura (1,340 euros), Canarias (1,402 euros) and Galicia (1,448 euros). The national average is 1,638 euros per month.

The Adecco study also shows that the average job-search time in Spain is 17.5 months, which represents a two-week reduction over the previous year, and a return to the 2014 June levels.

Home mortgages are still falling

Spanish miss out on non-specialist jobs TOUR operators in the Canary Islands continue to rely on nonSpanish or foreign workers to fill positions for which there is not enough staff trained in the Archipelago.

The data, released by the Canarian Employment Observatory (Obecan) concerning the first six months of 2016, showed that companies often hire

foreign employees, looking especially for international experience and knowledge of languages.

Yet most of the jobs, in principle, do not require either requirement.

Juan Pablo González, manager of Ashotel, says that in the case of the “top directors or managerial jobs” in the Archipelago, hotel chains tend to demand staff “with some experience and on-the-job knowledge”.

According to the employers, the significant volume of contracts

to foreign citizens in categories such as public relations or receptionists is down to the language factor, and the truth is that a lot of Canarians can speak their mother tongue only.

The training offered in countries such as the Netherlands or Germany is superior because they naturally speak two or three languages, besides their own, “without breaking a sweat”, said Gonzalez, who admitted “it is a local problem”.

Obecan records refer to contracts signed this

year in the hospitality sector, showing that of the new 1,039 contracts among receptionists, people are often of different nationalities from the Spanish.

Recreation and entertainment staff (300) is also an activity which requires languages, like public relations (49).

But there are also vacancies for cleaning staff, for instance, where these requirements are not important. And, maybe surprisingly, these positions also generate a large volume of foreign contracts - 6,233 this year so far alone

THE number of Canarian home mortgages in June fell by 7.4%, compared with the same month last year - just 960 approvals, according to data released by the National Statistics Institute (INE).

And the total household mortgages underwritten in the Islands also fell in June, against

the previous month, by 5.6%.

Unlike the Canary Islands, the whole of Spain actually saw a rise in the total mortgages granted in June. The year-on-year number was up an impressive 15.5%, to 25,274, even though it fell slightly against the May figure.

And the personal loan market is also healthy.

In June, a total of almost 2.9bn euros was loaned by banks in Spain, which, compared with June 2015, was a 24.2% increase, and up 2.4% from May last year.

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New helicopter for fire-fighting squad THE Cabildo in La Palma has moved swiftly to replace the firefighting helicopter that crashed on 10th August.

And a new machine for the Brigade Strengthening Forest Fire (BRIF), based in Puntagorda, has been delivered.

Fortunately, the crew walked away from the wreckage after the chopper crashed while trying to extinguish the fire which affected a large area of pine forests in the centre and south of the island.

Juan Manuel González, the Island’s Environment Minister, emphasised that the BRIF would always need a helicopter for their work.

“The presence of the BRIF with its staff on our Island is a guarantee of professionalism and effectiveness in fighting fire, which has been proven countless times,” he said.

Police not squiding on new fish laws!

ILLEGAL fishing is on the rise in the Canary Islands, and it’s not just rogue fishermen causing a problem but also those who break the EU Common Fisheries Policy’s strict quotas.

This week, the Guardia Civil’s Maritime Service filed four complaints for illegal fishing in Santa Cruz port.

It also seized nearly 100 kilos of squid as part of an ongoing clampdown.

In a statement, the Guardia Civil said it was

increasing the number of on-the-spot inspections by officers, and also looking closer at sport and recreational craft.

The squid seizure led to fines and a stern warning. And, as is protocol, the squid were not destroyed but donated to a local welfare centre, which was more than happy to turn some of the catch into a hot meal - and freeze the rest!

The Guardia Civil suspects the number of boats and vessels bringing fish to shore illegally is increasing, which will surely lead to more seizures.

Mums are lost in gender wage gap MOTHERS already up against an expanding gender pay gap, are left 33% worse off than men by the time their first child is 12.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) found the overall wage gap had narrowed over the last 20 years, but the poor old mums are getting left way behind.

The study found that female hourly pay rates were around 18% lower than men on average - an improvement at least on 23% in 2003 and 28% in 1993.

But after starting a family, the gap widened steadily until hourly pay for women was 33% less than men after 12 years.

The report, commissioned by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation,

suggested the shortfall was linked to some women working fewer hours after having children, which means they forego pay rises and promotions.

The IFS also found the pay gap had been closed by better conditions for lower-paid women, rather than those with A-levels or degrees, who have seen little change over the last 20 years.

Robert Joyce, IFS Associate Director, told Sky News: “We don’t see that the wage gap suddenly explodes the moment the first child arrives.

“It is a story of the lack of wage progression, so, after that point, women just don’t see the average wage growth that men do.

“The pay gap has remained unchanged for better qualified women, and that’s very much a story about

those who choose to work part or half-time.”

Mr Joyce added: “Understanding that lack of progression is going to be crucial to making progress in reducing the gender wage gap.”

The findings suggest the UK still has work to do, even though free childcare has been boosted, and shared parental-leave introduced.

Separate figures from the Chartered Management Institute showed

there was a 23% gender pay gap in management roles. - and that the figure had failed to shrink over the last year.

The research also uncovered the fact that male managers were 40% more likely than their female counterparts to be promoted into higher positions.

Prime Minister Theresa May has vowed to create a “Britain that works for everyone”, and Angela Rayner,

Labour’s Shadow Minister for Women and Equalities, has called on her to stamp out “wage discrimination”.

Julia Waltham, head of policy at the Working Families charity, and a mother of two children under four, said women were paying an unfair penalty while juggling work with childcare.

She told Sky News: “I think they’re being subjected to a motherhood penalty because they take on bigger responsibility for unpaid caring. And their options in the labour market are dramatically reduced by that.”

A Government spokesman said: “We want to make our country a place where there is no limit on anyone’s ambition, or what they can achieve. That means making sure everyone, regardless of gender, can succeed at work.

“The gender pay gap

is the lowest on record, but we know we need to make more progress and faster. That’s why we are pushing ahead with plans to force businesses to publish their gender pay and bonus gaps.”

But the Institute of Economic Affairs (IEA), a free market think-tank, said it was “common sense” that those who reduce their number of working hours would see future earnings drop, which was nothing to do with gender discrimination.

Mark Littlewood, IEA Director General, said: “When people make the decision to go parttime, either for family reasons or to gain a better work-life balance, this can impact further career opportunities.

“But it is a choice made by the individual - men and women alike.”

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2nd September - 8th September 2016

Roman holiday?

FROM November, low-cost airline Norwegian will operate from Tenerife and Gran Canaria to Rome’s Fiumicino Airport, the company’s first link between the Canaries and Italy.

The flights, which start at 59.90 euros each way, taxes included, will operate twice weekly, increasing various airlines’ routes to the Italian capital to 19 from Tenerife South, two from Tenerife North and 26 from Gran Canaria.

Norwegian also has a third route between Spain and Italy, linking Malaga and Rome.

The company, founded in 2002, operated its first flight in Spain a year later and now offers a total of 145, both domestic and European routes, in 14 Spanish airports.

Of these, seven (Ali-

Waiting forever, it seems!

WAITING lists for public health care are staggering, according to the latest, official figures, which show that almost 92,000 people in the Canaries are either awaiting surgery or a specialist’s appointment.

cante, Barcelona, Gran Canaria, Madrid, Malaga, Palma and Tenerife South) are the company’s operational bases.

Norwegian employs more than 1,100 people in Spain, including crew, staff and ground handling.

It is the sixth-largest airline in Spain, with 5.9m passengers in the 12 months to July 2016 - a 19% increase.

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These statistics, made public by the Canary Government’s Health Ministry, indicate that the problem, far from being alleviated, is increasing.

There were 30,584 people awaiting surgery in 2015, and, a year later, that figure has risen to 32,961, which means

2,377 more unhappy patients.

The number of people waiting more than six months for surgery is now 9,547, which tops last year’s number by 381. The average wait is 162 days, although half of patients wait 108 days.

Information by the Canaries’ Health Service suggests there are also 25,437 people waiting to see a specialist. Of them, 5,293 have allergy issues, 5,065 need rehabilitation treatment and dermatologist care is needed by 4,535.

Some 1,943 people need a cardiologist, 1,854 need a neurologist and 1,362 have digestive problems.

Around the hospitals, La Palma’s General Hospital has the longest waiting list.

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2nd September - 8th September 2016

Simulation trial really does pay off

Yes, there is life on Mars SIX scientists have emerged from a year-long, self-enforced isolatio, in which they simulated what it would be like to live on Mars.

The group lived in a dome on Hawaii’s Mauna Loa mountain and were able to go outside only if they wore spacesuits.

The lava-covered landscape was considered the closest earth-based environment to conditions on the red planet.

Scientists tested how they managed with limited resources, while conducting research and trying to avoid personal conflicts.

The simulation has been the second-longest of its kind, after a mission that lasted 520 days in Russia.

One of the team, Frenchman Cyprien Verseux, felt the experiment had been a success, saying: “I can give you my personal impression - a mission to Mars in the

close future is realistic. I think the technological and psychological obstacles can be overcome.”

Tristan Bassingthwaighte, who served as the crew’s architect, said: “The UH research going on up here is just super vital when it comes to picking crews, figuring out how people are going to actually work on different kinds of missions, and sort of the human factors element of space travel, colonisation, whatever it is you are actually looking at.”

The project is called the Hawaii Space Exploration Analog and Simulation (HI-SEAS), and Kim Binsted, principal investigator, said the researchers were looking forward to eating fresh produce and other foods unavailable in the dome.

She added: “HI-SEAS is an example of international collaborative research, hosted and run by the University of Hawaii, so it’s really exciting to be able to welcome the crew back to Earth, and back to Hawaii, after a year on Mars.”

Wedding-dress auction equals a bitter divorce A WOMAN is selling her wedding dress on eBay to fund her divorce - because her husband moved in with another woman!

Samantha Wragg, of Chesterfield, says on the online auction site that she is “mainly selling as I need to pay for my divorce, which my ex-husband has left me to foot the bill for”.

Ms Wragg says she added her story to her advert after failing to receive any bids initially.

The Art Couture dress has now attracted bids in excess of £13,000 28-year-old Samantha says her parents bought her the size six dress for “around £2,000” in 2014. She first put it up on eBay for £500 last Thursday. She describes it on the listing as being

in “great condition, but needs dry-cleaning before wearing to get rid of the stench of betrayal”.

Samantha adds that she had no time to have it cleaned before her husband “decided to call an end to our marriage”.

The advert continues: “I’ll also throw in my veil (yes, that’s right - I went all-out princess on the day!).”

She goes on to apologise for posting only two photographs of the dress on the advert, but says: “When I found out my husband was living with another woman, I pretty much burned/permanently deleted everything with his disgusting face on it!”

She adds: “If you want a dress that is full of bad memories and shattered hopes and dreams, then this is the one for you!

“Hope this dress brings you a lot more happiness than it brought me in the

end and if not … well, you can always sell it on here!”

Samantha, who says she works in social media, also runs a lifestyleand-fashion blog. After her story was picked up by the media, she wrote a blog post about her reasons for selling the dress.

In it, she says her husband left the relationship in January.

She wrote: “I had my wedding dress on eBay for two weeks with barely any views, so I decided with a little help from my brother (okay, it was all his idea) to make it funny.

“A lot of people have got the wrong end of the stick and think it’s really bitter. But anyone who knows me knows I’ve got a great sense of humour, and it’s very tongue-incheek.”

She goes on to say: “I literally can’t count the

amount of messages I’ve had on eBay from both men and women, wishing me all the best

with everything.” Two of those messages, she says, have been marriage proposals. But they are

too late - Samantha has recently posted on Instagram about a man she is now dating.

Cabildo’s 11m-euro pot to improve motorways TENERIFE Cabildo will allocate 11m euros for improvement works on two sections of the North motorway (TF-5) and the south (TF-1) - new asphalt to be laid in both directions.

President Carlos Alonso, who has made the improving of local roads a 2016 priority, confirmed the offer this week.

The Cabildo has, specifically, agreed to cough up 5.6m euros for comprehensive repair work on the TF-1, in the section between kilometre points 59.5 and 76.3, from San Isidro until the end of the motorway at its most westerly point, up to the start of the insular ring road.

It has also approved 5.6m euros for repairs to the TF-5, from the tunnel exit to Avenida Tres de Mayo to the Tenerife North Airport access, which stretches from 0km to 13km.

Alonso said the work

would soon begin, with the repairs being carried out at night because they are two of the busiest roads on the Island.

This TF-5 stretch carries 110,000 vehicles a day, while the TF-1 accommodates 90,000 motors. The work will take up to six months.

Alonso has also announced that the Cabildo is considering a restricted access system for public transport in Teno, to be carried out when the renovations are complete.

It will be operated temporarily by Titsa.

www.canarianweekly.com

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2nd September - 8th September 2016

Top charity critical of diabetes amputations AMPUTATIONS related to diabetes in England has reached an all-time high of 20 a day, according to new analysis from a leading charity.

Diabetes UK says there is an alarming difference in quality of care seen across the country.

And, while the best-performing areas have reduced their amputation rates consistently, those considered to be the worst-performing areas have made no improvements.

Experts estimate that up to 80% of diabetesrelated amputations are preventable. Most are caused by foot ulcers, yet they are avoidable and easy to treat if detected early.

The charity, using Public Health England figures, discovered there are now 7,370 amputations a year, which is considerably more than the earlier figure of 7,042.

Now, Diabetes UK is calling for the Government and the NHS to improve diabetes footcare, especially in areas where amputation rates are stagnant - or even getting worse!

Data suggests that some NHS trusts are 10 times more likely than others to resort to an amputation than others.

Chris Askew, the charity’s chief executive, said: “We know the devastating impact they have on people’s lives, as well as the huge cost to the NHS. “Yet we are not seeing action happening quickly enough across

all areas of the country to address this.

“It’s a travesty that good-quality foot-care is a postcode lottery.

People need to be getting the right care - in the right place and at the right time now!”

Robert Carew-Hunt, a former Foreign Office diplomat with Type 2 diabetes, suffered several serious infections in his feet over a 12-year period.

So much so that he - and specialists at St George’s Hospital in south London - agreed that there was no choice but to amputate his left leg below the knee after attempting, initially, to cut off one toe at a time.

He told Sky News: “There’s a tendency to think that if I control my blood sugars well, nothing bad will happen. That isn’t the case, unfortunately.”

Housing Benefit trimmed if you are going overseas PEOPLE living in Great Britain can now receive Housing Benefit for just four weeks if they are out of the country.

Previously, claimants could continue having their rent paid for up to 13 weeks.

The new rule prevents claimants from taking long, drawn-out trips outside the UK, while receiving taxpayer help with their rent.

It also brings the Housing Benefit into line with Jobseeker’s Allowance and other working-age benefits, which already have stricter limits.

Those in receipt of Pension Credit also face exactly the same restriction while abroad, from 13 weeks to four.

Caroline Nokes, Welfare Delivery Minister, said: “It’s important that the benefits’ system is fair to those who need it, and to those who pay for it.

“It’s not right that people could be abroad for over three months and still expect the taxpayer to pay their rent back home.

“These new rules mean that people can still enjoy holidays like everyone else, but they will ensure the system isn’t abused.”

For further information on these changes, or to find out what exemptions apply, contact your local benefit office.

Permanent resi-

dents overseas are still unable to claim incomerelated benefits for any period - including benefits such as Housing Benefit, Pension Credit or Universal Credit.

If you suspect someone of committing benefit fraud in Spain, call the Benefit Fraud Hotline on 900 554 440. Calls are free and confidential. Benefit thieves can also be reported online at www.gov.uk/reportbenefit-fraud.

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Chinese Ripper nabbed after major killing spree

Asthma’s a killer, yet victims get poor care THE most comprehensive study of asthma in the UK has discovered that many people are not receiving the kind of care which meets even the most basic standards.

A different approach is needed for the use of new technologies in the treatment of asthma, says the study. And a charity has called for an overhaul of the way the chronic lung disease is treated after the revelation that it costs the UK at least £1.1bn a year.

Researchers found that at least three people die each day from asthma attacks, yet experts say the majority of those deaths are preventable.

The report’s authors stress there needs to be a greater focus on basic care to cut the rates of severe attacks.

The team, led by the Asthma UK Centre for Applied Research at The University of Edinburgh, found that there were around 6.4 million GP and nurse consultations for asthma each year - and more than 270 hospital admissions each day because of asthma attacks.

Kay Boycott, chief executive of Asthma UK, said: “Despite the fact that we’re spending over one billion pounds a year on asthma, many people are still not receiving care that meets even the most basic clinical standards.

“It is clear that this has to change, and that a different approach is urgently needed. We strongly believe new technologies, such as smart inhalers, are the likely game-changer that could reduce asth-

2nd September - 8th September 2016

ma attacks and ease the burden on the NHS.” The team said the findings confirm that the UK has one of the highest burdens of asthma in the world, with more than 18 million people treated for the condition at some stage in their lifetime.

An NHS England spokesperson said: “The NHS is a world leader in medical innovation from hip replacements, new vaccines, IVF and life-saving new medicines.

“The next frontier includes technologies which help patients, particularly those with long-term conditions like asthma and COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), better understand and manage their own health without the need for costly and inconvenient hospital treatment.”

Professor Aziz Sheikh, director of Edinburgh University’s Asthma UK Centre for Applied Research, said: “Even with conservative assumptions, we find almost 100,000 people are admitted to hospital, and there are at least 1,000 deaths from asthma each year in the UK. “This is unacceptable for a condition that, for most people, can be managed effectively with the right support from their GP.” The Professor added: “Greater focus on primary care is needed if we are to cut rates of severe asthma attacks, hospitalisations and deaths.”

The research was drawn together from national health surveys and administrative, health and social-care records in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

POLICE in China say they have caught their own Jack The Ripper, who killed 11 young women and girls between 1988 and 2002.

Gao Chengyong, 52, was arrested at the grocery store he runs with his wife in the northwest province of Gansu, according to China Daily. And a chance DNA led the police to him.

The newspaper said he had confessed to the 11 notorious murders in Gansu, and the neighbouring Inner Mongolia region.

Gao is alleged to have targeted young women wearing red during a 14-year killing spree, following them home, then raping and killing them.

Some women had their throats cut and reproductive organs

removed, according to reports. The youngest victim was eight years old.

Police, who first linked all 11 crimes in 2004, said at the time: “The suspect has a sexual perversion and hates women. He’s reclusive and unsociable, but patient.”

Gao was tracked down to his shop after a relative had been ar-

rested and DNA-tested. Police said the DNA suggested that the killer was a relative and, Gao’s test matched the one collected at the crime scenes.

His son told local media that his father had experienced “bitter suffering” in his youth, after failing to become a pilot for “political reasons”.

And acquaintances

described him as a quiet man, who was emotionally detached from his family.

The original Jack the Ripper was a serial killer, active in east London in the late Victorian era.

He is believed to have murdered five women, but no one was ever caught, despite several “expert” theories about who committed the atrocities.

Still no freedom for Beatle killer MARK Chapman, infamous killer of Beatle John Lennon, has been denied parole for the ninth time since the world was stunned by the shooting in 1980.

The New York state Board of Parole announced its decision in relation to 61-yearold Chapman, who admitted second-degree murder and is serving a 20-years-to-life sentence in western New York’s Wende Correctional Facility.

The Board noted that Chapman, who shot and killed the British superstar outside his luxury Dakota block in Manhattan, New York, had described the murder as “selfish and evil”.

But it agreed that his contrition, and other factors supporting his release, were outweighed by the premeditated and “celeb-

rity-seeking” nature of the crime.

The Board said: “Your release would be incompatible with the welfare of society, and would so deprecate that seriousness of the

crime as to undermine respect for the law.”

Chapman, who will be eligible to seek parole again in two years, was last denied parole in 2014, when he said he still received let-

ters about the pain he caused in his pursuit of notoriety.

“I am sorry for causing that type of pain,” he said. “I am sorry for being such an idiot and choosing the wrong way for glory.”

In a 1992 interview, Chapman told of the moment when Lennon got out of a limousine and approached him after he asked for an autograph.

Chapman said: “I heard this voice - not an audible voice, an inaudible voice - saying over and over, ‘Do it, do it, do it’. I thought that by killing him, I would acquire his fame.”

At a 2010 hearing, Chapman said he had considered shooting Johnny Carson or Elizabeth Taylor instead, but settled on Lennon because the former Beatle was more accessible because his century-old apartment building by Central Park “wasn’t quite as cloistered”.

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2nd September - 8th September 2016

Brazil President is facing the axe DILMA Rousseff, who has been sacked as Brazil’s President, believes it is without justification - and she is adamant her impeachment trial is a “coup”.

She has been formally removed from office, ending 13 years of leftist rule in Latin America’s biggest country.

The 68-year-old was greeted by cheering supporters as she arrived in the Senate to testify for the first time in her defence.

She was accompanied by heavyweight allies, including Luiz Inacio

Lula da Silva, her presidential predecessor, and a dozen former cabinet members.

Ms Rousseff, accused of engineering illegal state loans to patch budget holes, took the stand for around

30 minutes, before facing questions from both allies and opponents.

She said she had refused to resign because she was committed to democracy and the rule of law. And she called

the accusations against her “a pretext for a constitutional coup”.

She added: “I’ve come to look your excellencies in the eye, and to say that I did not commit a crime. I did not commit the crimes for which I have been accused, unjustly and arbitrarily.

“I cannot help but taste the bitterness of injustice. But like I did in the past, I resist. Don’t expect me to stay silent like a coward.”

Ms Rousseff’s former Vice-President, Michel Temer, now a confirmed political enemy, will be installed as President until the country’s 2018 elections.

Rapper Brown on gun charge TROUBLED American rapper Chris Brown, involved in an all-day standoff with police on Tuesday, was eventually arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon - then released on a $250,000 (£190,000) bail later that night.

He had refused to leave his LA home for several hours after a woman called 911 before dawn on Tuesday and, reportedly, claimed he had pointed a gun at her face.

Baylee Curran said Brown and another man had become angry when she admired a diamond necklace - telling the LA Times she was chased out of the house and had to hide under a nearby car with a friend.

His lawyer, Mark Geragos, tweeted: “Thanks to everyone for their

support and well wishes. Chris is out and well.

The allegations against him are demonstrably false #TeamBreezy” Brown had posted a series of videos on Instagram declaring his innocence – and, in one clip, he waved a cigarette around and declared that police would find nothing inside his home once they obtained a search warrant.

Police have since performed a lengthy search of his expansive home, and about six people have been escorted from the property for questioning.

In a statement outside the star’s home,

Lieutenant Chris Ramirez, of the Los Angeles Police Department, said: “He is being transported to robbery homicide, where he will be arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.”

The rapper, using Instagram, denied reports that he had barricaded himself inside his house. He also accused the police of “defacing my name and my character and my integrity” insisting he had done nothing wrong.

Brown, whose numerous hits include Don’t Judge Me and Look At Me Now, has attracted legal trouble repeatedly since being convicted

of assaulting his thengirlfriend, Rihanna in 2009, which led to him spending six years on probation.

The Grammy-winning performer was forced to postpone a UK tour in 2010 after being denied a visa, and he was also refused entry into Canada six months ago.

In 2013, he was charged with assault after striking a man outside a Washington DC hotel. The rapper was ordered to attend a rehabilitation centre as a result, but was then kicked out of the facility for breaking its rules.

After completing a series of court-ordered, a n g e r- m a n a g e m e n t classes, Brown was also accused of throwing a brick at his mother’s car.

Last year, he was given 28 days to convince officials he should be provided with a visa for his Australian tour.

The demand came after the country’s Women’s Minister, Michaelia Cash, had urged the government to refuse Brown entry on grounds of “character”.

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EC upsets the Applecart!

APPLE, the American technology giant, has been ordered to pay Ireland up to 13bn euros (£11bn) in backtaxes after a European Commission probe.

The company was handed the record bill after the EC ruled that a special scheme to route profits through Ireland was considered to be illegal state-aid.

Its tax arrangements, says the EC, enabled it to pay a tax rate of as little as 0.005% on its European profits in 2014, according to the investigation. That amounts to just £50 in taxes on every £1m of profit.

Yet Ireland Finance Minister Michael Noonan, who has disagreed “profoundly” with the decision, intends to seek Cabinet approval for an appeal.

The sum to be paid

by Apple is 40 times bigger than any previous demand by the EC in such a case. But it could be reduced if other countries seek more taxes themselves from the US tech giant.

Margrethe Vestager, the EU Commissioner, said: “Member states cannot give tax benefits to selected companies. This is illegal under EU state-aid rules.”

The Danish politician added: “The Commission’s investigation concluded that Ireland granted illegal tax benefits to Apple, which

enabled it to pay substantially less tax than other businesses over many years.”

The investigation found that Apple’s profits were routed via Ireland to virtual head offices which had no employees, no premises … and carried out no real activities.

These profits were not subject to tax in any country under provisions of Irish law, which are no longer in force.

It meant that one subsidiary, Apple Sales International, paid a tax rate of just 1% in 2003, declining to 0.005% by 2014.

Apple Chief Executive Tim Cook said the ruling would have a “profound and harmful effect” on investment and job creation in Europe, and that the company paid all the taxes it owed in all the countries where it operated.

And Chief Financial Officer Luca Maestri said the suggestion that Apple paid as little as £50 for every £1m in profit was “a completely made-up number”.

The EC’s tax crackdown on multi-nationals has prompted criticism in Washington, which accuses it of targeting US companies.

Online retailer Amazon and fast-food giant McDonald’s are facing probes over their tax arrangements in Luxembourg, while coffee chain Starbucks has been ordered to pay up to 30m euros (£26m) in the Netherlands.

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Wednesday 7th September, Channel 4, 21:00 Live from Maracanã Stadium in Rio de Janeiro, Clare Balding and Adam Hills host coverage of the spectacular Opening Ceremony for the 2016 Paralympic Games. Expect a carnival atmosphere, including the parade of Paralympics GB athletes who are aiming to top the 120 medals won at London 2012. With a team packed full of reigning Paralympic, World and European champions, there’s a record haul of golds in prospect for Great Britain in the 2016 Paralympics to build on the 27 golds won at the Olympics in Rio a few weeks ago.

Tonight an all-star cast join Clare and Adam to preview the Games and look at GB’s medal prospects, including Superhumans Ellie Simmonds, Hannah Cockroft, Jonnie Peacock, David Weir and Dame Sarah Storey, who’s going for a historic 12th gold medal. Commentary comes from Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Rob Walker. A live signed and audio described simulcast is available on 4seven.

The Last Leg Wednesday 7th September, Channel 4, 20:00 Adam Hills, Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker get back to their roots of Paralympic punditry to introduce the most entertaining sporting extravaganza known to humanity. This, the first of 11 nightly shows from Rio, is a celebration of all that was mind-blowing about London 2012 while teeing up what will be unmissable in Rio 2016 ahead of tonight’s Opening Ceremony. The #isitok feature returns enabling viewers, and athletes alike, to ask the questions we’re all too afraid to ask. The boys chat to C4’s Paralympic presenters: Clare Balding, Breaking Bad’s RJ Mitte, Ade Adepitan, Arthur Williams, JJ Chalmers, Sophie Morgan and Brazilian footballing legend Pele while also checking in on some of the show’s favourite Superhumans of 2012.

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TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Fri 2nd Sept 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain W C 10:00 ...... Homes Under thechoice Hammer 11:00 .............Wanted Down Under Revisited 11:45 ............... Heir Hunters 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45......................... Doctors 14:15...................... Red Rock 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45 ................... Think Tank 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 19:00....... The One Show 19:30............. A Question of Sport 20:00............ EastEnders 20:30............. Would I Lie to You? 21:00.............. Goodnight Sweetheart 21:30..... Young Hyacinth 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:35..............New Tricks 23:35...................Comedy Connections 00:10............... BBC News

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06:00 ...........................Flog It! 06:45 ................. Fake Britain 07:30................. Make Me an Egghead 08:00 .........................Horizon 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00....BBC Newsroom Live 13:00 ......................The Edge 13:45.. Three Up, Two Down 14:15....................... Hi-De-Hi! 14:45.................Yes, Minister 15:15...... The New Forest: A Year in the Wild 16:15....... The Great Interior Design Challenge 17:15... Antiques Roadshow 18:00.............. Debatable 18:30............ Make Me an Egghead 19:00.......Garden Rescue 19:30.Great British Menu 20:00........... Mastermind 20:30..Gardeners’ World CW choice 21:30.... The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice 22:00............................ QI 22:30..............Newsnight 23:05..................Carnage 00:20..... Sicily Unpacked 01:20...................Inside the Factory: How Our Favourite Foods are Made

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00............ Secret Dealers 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00.................... The Chase 18:00.... ITV News London 18:30....ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..............Coronation Street 20:00.......... Gino’s Italian Escape 20:30..............Coronation Street 21:00...........Lady C and the Castle

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22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30................. ITV News London 22:40........ Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason 00:40............ Jackpot247

Lady C and the Castle ITV1, 21.00 Castle Goring in Sussex went on the market in 2013 for offers over £500,000, and despite being a ruin, Lady Colin Campbell thought she could bag a bargain, but now has the enormous task of transforming the dilapidated castle into a house

fit for a Lady.

Restoring the Grade One listed castle wasn’t going to come cheap, and so to raise the money needed for a new roof, Lady C decided to sign up to be a contestant on last year’s I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!

As Lady C says: “It has to be said, I have always done a certain number of things that I would much rather have not had to do…let’s put it this way, I’m whoring for Goring.”

She adds: “Well when I bought the house it was a complete wreck.

The ground floor was completely destroyed…I came down with a friend of mine who is an architect and he said don’t touch it. He said it’s the worst thing you could ever do if you buy that property. He said you need at least three million, maybe five, maybe even six or seven.”

Though in true Lady C style she ignored the advice and bought the derelict money-pit, though remains tight-lipped about what she paid for the property.

With now only six weeks to go before the big launch party, the clock is ticking and there’s a mountain of work still to do, which includes Lady C climbing onto the castle’s roof to inspect the recent repair work.

And then with her feet back on terra firma, Lady C turns her attention to carpeting the castle. Though it soon becomes apparent that her and son Dima have differing tastes in home furnishings.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

W C choice

06:10...............3rd Rock from the Sun

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:35...............3rd Rock from the Sun

06:20 Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:00.........Everybody Loves Raymond 07:25.........Everybody Loves Raymond 07:50............................ Frasier 08:20............................ Frasier 08:55......................Formula 1 10:35..............The Simpsons 11:00 .............The Simpsons

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .....................Peppa Pig 06:45 ..........Bob the Builder 06:55 ............. Little Princess 07:10 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:20.................... Milkshake!

Summer Fun! 07:25 .................Thomas and Friends

11:30............. The Simpsons

07:40.......... Noddy: Toyland Detective

12:00......... Channel 4 News Summary

07:50........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

12:05..............Couples Come Dine with Me

08:05 .........................Wissper

12:55......................Formula 1

08:35.................... Paw Patrol

14:40............Wedding Town

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

15:10..................Countdown

08:50................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat

16:00 .............. Gok’s Fill Your House for Free

09:00.....................Bananas in Pajamas

17:00.................... Come Dine with Me

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

06:00 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 09:00.................. You’ve Been Framed! Gold 09:30............................. Psych 10:20 .................. Royal Pains 11:15 ................ Dinner Date 12:15 ..................Emmerdale 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed! Gold 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 18:50 .........Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 19:30 ........... You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00 .......... White House Down 23:35 ............ Family Guy 00:30...... American Dad!

06:15 ........... Beauty and the Beast 07:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 08:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 09:00........My Dream Home 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 13:00 ........ MasterChef USA 14:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00........My Dream Home 17:00...............Tipping Point 19:00...................Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 20:00............. MasterChef Australia 21:00.Dynamo Revealed 22:00............. EastEnders 22:40.............. Zoolander 00:25............ Traffic Cops 00:55............. EastEnders

08:55............................... Food Unwrapped

07:00 .. The Indestructibles 07:20.................... Scrapheap Challenge 08:10 .......................Top Gear 09:00 ...... American Pickers 10:00 ...... American Pickers 11:00. Storage Hunters UK 12:00....................... Top Gear 13:00...... American Pickers 14:00 ...... American Pickers 15:00 ........ Storage Hunters 15:30 ........ Storage Hunters 16:00 .... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00....................... Top Gear 19:00...American Pickers 20:00....................... QI XL 21:00....................Coming to America 23:20....... Mock the Week 00:00...... Mock the Week 00:40....................... QI XL 01:40............................ QI

06:00............. Football Gold 07:00 .......WWE Main Event 08:00.......... Premier League 100 Club 09:00 .......... MLS Highlights 11:00............. Football Gold 11:30......... Barclays Premier League World 12:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 13:00 .......... MLS Highlights 15:00 .........Barclays Premier League World 15:30.......... Premier League 100 Club 16:00 ............. Football Gold 17:00 ... Sporting Triumphs 18:30 ........... The Fantasy Football Club 19:30...............Live Super League Play-Offs 22:30... NFL Hard Knocks 23:30.... Barclays Premier League World 00:00......... Super League Highlights

18:00 ....... The Simpsons

11:15........ Cowboy Builders and Bodge Jobs

18:30 .............. Hollyoaks

12:10.....5 News Lunchtime

19:00..... Channel 4 News

12:15...................GPs: Behind Closed Doors

06:00.. The Dog Whisperer

20:00 ..... George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces

07:00 ................ Monkey Life

13:15.........Home and Away

08:00 ......................Zoo Tales

21:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

13:45..................Neighbours

09:00..................... Futurama

22:00............. Gogglebox

14:15................................ NCIS

10:00 ...........Modern Family

15:10...................Rosamunde Pilcher’s Shades of Love

11:00 ..............................David Attenborough: Conquest

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

17:30 .................Neighbours

14:00............. The Simpsons

18:00.... Home and Away

17:30 ..................... Futurama

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

18:00 .............. Futurama

19:00 ...........Building the London Underground

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

20:00.......... The Cars That Made Britain Great 21:00.................. Carry on Caravanning 23:05..... The Big Fat Quiz of Everything 00:35............ The Duke of Burgundy

22:00..... The Tube: Going Underground 23:05.................. Ice Road Truckers 00:05..........Super Casino

23 CW

19:30........ The Simpsons 20:00 ..... Modern Family 21:00 ............A League of Their Own 22:00................ Football’s Funniest Moments 23:00 ..........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 00:00......................... Zoo 01:00....NCIS: Los Angeles

09:35..... A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 10:35 ...........Kirstie’s Vintage Gems 11:00...... ‘Pimpernel’ Smith 13:25 ...................Time Team 15:35 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 17:50............. Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 18:55............Building the Dream 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00 ........The Out-Laws 22:15 ..... Welcome to the Punch 00:15............. 24 Hours in A and E 01:20... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

Gardeners’ World BBC2, 20.30

Monty and the regular team are joined by some new faces offering tips, advice and inspiration from gardens large and small across the country.

In this programme Monty will be at Longmeadow catching up with some seasonal jobs, and also gets out and about for an inspiring visit to the longest herbaceous border in the world. Seven-times Chelsea Gold medal winning designer Adam Frost lays out plans for his new garden in Lincolnshire, while newcomer Flo Headlam visits a small city front garden in Liverpool to get underway with her mission to green up Britain’s grey spaces. Nick Macer will be in Sheffield, exploring the ways in which Britain’s climatic conditions can be exploited for growing some surprising plants; and Carol Klein is in Devon getting to grips with some of the members of the extraordinary buttercup family, which include Clematis and Delphiniums.

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TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Sat 3rd Sept 06:00...................... Breakfast 10:00 ........................Saturday Kitchen 11:30 .......................Lorraine’s Fast, Fresh and Easy Food

07:15............... The Women’s Football Show

06:00 .................. Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge

07:45 ......... The Magnificent Showman

06:25 ................Pat and Stan

10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

12:00 ......................... Football Focus

11:00 ......... Lost Land of the Tiger

12:30 .............. Bargain Hunt

12:00 ......... The Hairy Bikers’ Best of British

13:00 .....................BBC News 13:10 ....................... Athletics 14:15 ...............Escape to the Continent 15:15 ........... Wreck-it Ralph 16:50 ................The Getaway Car

12:45................. Great British Menu 13:15................. Great British Menu 13:45 .............................. That’s Entertainment!

15:50.................. Robot Wars 16:50........................... Flog It! 17:20 .................... Gardeners’ World 18:20.... The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice

17:40.................... BBC News

22:00 .............. BBC News 22:20...................Marvel’s Avengers Assemble 00:35.............Weather for the Week Ahead 00:40............... BBC News

07:15 ......................... Super 4 07:35 ...............Thunderbirds are Go 08:00 ................Ninjago: Rise of the Snakes 08:25...................... ITV News 08:30.......................Weekend 09:25.......................... Murder, She Wrote 10:20.......................... Murder, She Wrote 11:20 ......................Columbo 12:50.............. ITV News and Weather

14:45 ......................... Victoria 16:15.................The X Factor

CW choice

21:10 ................ Casualty

06:55 .............. Share a Story 07:00 .............................Sooty

13:45 ..............Tipping Point

18:00................ Pointless

20:15 .......... The National Lottery: 5-Star Family Reunion

06:45 ..........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

13:00............... Catchphrase

17:50................. BBC London News 18:50......Strictly Come Dancing

06:35.......... Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

17:15........ Ninja Warrior UK 18:15................ ITV News London 18:50............ Proms Extra 2016 19:30.............Greece with Simon Reeve 20:30.............Dad’s Army 21:00.............. War Horse 23:15............Hunky Dory 01:00...............Romantics Anonymous

18:30 .........ITV News and Weather 18:45............ You’ve Been Framed!

19:15 ................. Go for It 20:15 .......... The X Factor 21:15.............Newzoids

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21:45......The Nation’s Favourite Carpenters Song Richard Carpenter takes viewers through this celebration of the best-loved songs of the biggest-selling sister-and-brother act in music history, as the results of an ITV poll reveal which of their songs has been voted the nation’s favourite.

The Carpenters crafted a unique songbook, encompassing such chart hits as Top of The World, We’ve Only Just Begun, Please Mr Postman, (They Long To Be) Close To You, Rainy Days and Mondays and Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. It is a story which charts the extraordinary journey of the band from the highs of multi-millionselling number-one singles to devastating personal lows, culminating in the tragic death of Karen Carpenter at the age of just 32. The programme also hears from those who knew the Carpenters best, including friends and collaborators such as Burt Bacharach and Petula Clark, and famous fans including Nicole Scherzinger, the Corrs and Myleene Klass.

23:05................ ITV News 23:25................ Pop Gold 00:20 .... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

25 CW

W C choice 06:00 ...........................Mobil 1 The Grid 06:25............................ Outlaw Triathlon 07:20 ..................Motorsport

06:00 ..........Bob the Builder 06:10 ........... Wanda and the Alien 06:20 ................................ Pets

07:50 ........................... Frasier

06:25 ....................... Noddy in Toyland

08:25 ........................... Frasier

06:40 ....................Paw Patrol

08:55 ................The Morning Line

06:50 ............. Little Princess

09:55 .....................Formula 1

07:15 ...............Blaze and the Monster Machines

11:25 ........................... Murray Walker Meets Jenson Button

07:05 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:45 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:00 ...............Shimmer and Shine 08:25 .............The Fairly Odd Parents

14:30 ..................... Channel 4 Racing 16:45 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 17:45............. Ugly House to Lovely House with George Clarke 18:40...................Channel 4 News 19:00.................... Hidden Britain

by Drone 20:00.......... First Contact: Lost Tribe of the Amazon 21:00 ....................... Lone Survivor

08:55 ...River Cottage Bites

09:05 ...... Coronation Street Omnibus

06:10 ................ Doctor Who

09:15 .Come Dine with Me

07:00 ..........DIY SOS The Big Build

11:50 ...............Four in a Bed

11:30 ........Ninja Warrior UK 12:30.................. You’ve Been Framed! Gold 13:30 .................... Charlotte’s Web 15:20................. A Cinderella Story 17:15 ...............................Bean 19:05........ The Incredible Hulk 21:15.................. The Xtra Factor Live 22:15 ............ Family Guy 22:45 ............ Family Guy 23:15............. Family Guy

09:00................ The Saturday Show Live

00:10.......American Dad!

12:00............ The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:00 ............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door: Living in Fear 14:00 ..............................Police Interceptors 15:00 ..............................Police Interceptors 16:00...............................Police Interceptors 17:00.......................Can’t Pay? Benefits Special 18:00 .............. Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

19:00........ Adolf and Eva 20:55 ....................5 News Weekend 21:00 ............Death Wish

23:25 .............The Family

22:40 .........Football on 5

01:30................. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

23:40................Criminals: Caught on Camera

W C choice

06:00 ......... Dynamo Top 10

08:43 .............The Fairly Odd Parents

11:00 ............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

11:55.................... Formula 1

06:00................... Emmerdale Omnibus

00:05..........Super Casino

23:40...... American Dad! 00:40 ......... Keith Lemon: The Film

06:00 .. The Dog Whisperer 07:00............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 09:00 ..................The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 ................. Soccer A.M. 11:30 .... Football’s Funniest Moments 12:30 ...............The F1 Show 13:00 ..................... Futurama 14:00........... Modern Family 17:00............. The Simpsons 19:00........ The Simpsons 20:00...........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 21:00..... Mount Pleasant 22:00.............A League of Their Own 23:00........ The Simpsons 00:00................ Football’s Funniest Moments 01:00................. NCIS: Los Angeles

08:00.................. Traffic Cops

14:30........... Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free

08:25.......................... The Bill

14:45.. Come Dine with Me

12:25......... Motorway Cops

16:55................... Great Canal Journeys

13:30 ....................EastEnders Omnibus 16:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 17:00 ................. DIY SOS The Big Build

17:55............... Sarah Beeny’s Four Rooms 18:55................. Location, Location, Location 20:00....... Grand Designs

18:00............ DIY SOS The Big Build

21:00................. 9/11: The Lost Tapes

19:00........Outnumbered

22:00................9/11: Elite Rescue Cops

21:00..... Jonathan Creek 22:10.......John Bishop: In Conversation With ...

23:10................. Sherlock 01:05............Doctor Who 01:30..........Being Human USA

07:10 .......... Sin City Motors 08:00 .......................Top Gear 09:00 ........ Storage Hunters 10:00 ........ Storage Hunters 11:00 .......................Top Gear 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00.................... Red Dwarf 13:40.................... Red Dwarf 14:20.................... Red Dwarf 15:00 ....................Red Dwarf 15:40 ....................Red Dwarf 16:20 ....................Red Dwarf 17:00 .......................Top Gear 18:00................ Top Gear 19:00...... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 21:00.Would I Lie to You? 21:40............................ QI 23:00........ Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish 00:00........... Three Kings

23:05.......9/11 Firehouse 00:10............. 24 Hours in A and E 01:15................Channel 4 Comedy Gala 2016 - Best Bits

06:00 ............. Football Gold 06:30............. Football Gold 07:00......... Barclays Premier League World 07:30............... BPL Legends 08:00............... Bpl 100 Club 08:30 .........Barclays Premier League World 09:00 ..................The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 ................. Soccer A.M. 11:30 .........Barclays Premier League World 12:00 ........................ Football 14:30 .....Live Pro 12 Rugby 17:00 .....Live Pro 12 Rugby 19:30.. Sporting Triumphs 19:40.Live Top 14 Rugby 21:35........... Boxing Gold 22:00............ The Premier League Years

Newzoids ITV1, 21.15

The six part series sees our most famous faces brought to life through puppetry, state of the art animation and the voices of some of Britain’s best-loved impressionists, including Jon Culshaw, Debra Stephenson, Lewis Macleod and Simon Greenall.

Putting its own satirical and surreal twist on current affairs and showbiz stories, Newzoids features an ensemble of off the wall characters who bear more than a passing resemblance to some of the world’s most recognisable celebrities.

Up to 50 new faces will be getting the Newzoids treatment for series two, including Jeremy Corbyn, Adele, The X Factor judges, Donald Trump, Danny Dyer, Zayn Malik and Bear Grylls, adding to the 70 existing Newzoids characters who include Theresa May, The Queen, Ant and Dec and Simon Cowell.

00:00.............Fight Night

Strictly Come Dancing - The Launch Show BBC1, 18.50

The costumes are ready, the shoes have been polished and the ballroom eagerly awaits, as BAFTA award-winning Strictly Come Dancing returns to BBC One. Join presenters Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman as they host the star-studded launch of the 14th series and bring back some sparkle into Saturday and Sunday nights.

Mission Fabulous is nearly complete as the class of 2016 join the presenters, judges and professional dancers on the red carpet and head into the world famous Strictly ballroom for the very first time.

Tonight the 15 celebrity contestants will discover which professional dancer they will be paired with as their journey towards the famous Glitter Ball Trophy begins. Once the pairings have been announced the celebrities and professionals will join together and take to the dancefloor for the very first time for an eye-catching group performance.

The out of this world judging panel of Darcey Bussell, Bruno Tonioli, Craig Revel Horwood and, in his final year, Len Goodman will be presiding over matters as Strictly’s fabulous four get their first sneak peek of the class of 2016 on the dancefloor - although tonight they will be leaving their scoring paddles at home.

As well as all this there will be musical performances from Olly Murs and Rebecca Ferguson, as Strictly Come Dancing 2016 blasts off in style.

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TV Guide

Poldark BBC1, 21.00

George Warleggan (Jack Farthing) is building his case against Ross (Aidan Turner) so Pascoe forces Ross to prepare a will in case the worst happens - while Demelza (Eleanor Tomlinson) visits their neighbour Ray Penvenen (John Nettles) to gain an ally.

Francis (Kyle Soller) seeks reconciliation but Ross refuses, and Francis takes this badly. Elizabeth (Heida Reed) attempts to negotiate a ceasefire between Ross and George too, persuading George to offer Ross his help in influencing the court. However, Ross rejects this offer as well, seeing that the price of friendship with George is too high.

The court case takes place in Bodmin, which is overwhelmed with crowds who are there for the county election. George is funding a candidate, Unwin Trevaunance (Hugh Skinner), in the hope of extending the reach of his own influence; however, Unwin is more concerned with his pursuit of Ray Penvenen’s niece, Caroline (Gabriella Wilde), who herself has taken a liking to Dr Dwight Enys (Luke Norris).

Francis, consumed with guilt for betraying Ross, tells George what he really thinks of him before making his way into Dwight’s lodgings and attempting to kill himself. George offers to stand up for Ross in court if he will accept his friendship, but Ross refuses. Demelza tries to meet Justice Lister to tell him that George is perverting justice but George has the doormen prevent her from entering.

2nd September - 8th September 2016

S unday

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:00 ................. The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 ...........................Sunday Morning Live 11:00.............. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ...................A to Z of TV Gardening

06:00 .................. Fort Boyard Ultimate Challenge

06:45 ....... Glorious Gardens From Above

06:25 ................Pat and Stan

07:30 .................... Gardeners’ World 08:30 .................. Countryfile

06:35.......... Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 06:45 ..........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

09:30 ......... The Beechgrove Garden

06:55.............. Share a Story

13:00 .....................BBC News 13:15................Escape to the Country

10:00 ........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

07:15 ......................... Super 4

14:00 ..........................Eat Well for Less

11:30 .................Great British Menu

15:00............. Points of View

12:00 .................Great British Menu

12:00 .............. Bargain Hunt

15:15...................... Ingenious Animals 16:15......... The Great British Bake Off

12:30 .................Great British Menu

17:15 ........................ Songs of Praise

13:00 ........ Lorraine Pascale: How to be a Better Cook

17:50....................... Pointless

13:30 ............... Heir Hunters

18:35 .............. BBC News

14:15........................... Flog It!

18:50 ........... BBC London News

15:00................... Equestrian

19:00 ............Countryfile

19:00................ New York: America’s Busiest City

20:00 ................ Antiques Roadshow 21:00................Poldark

CW

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22:00 .............. BBC News

17:00................. John Carter

20:00..................A Very British Deterrent

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07:00 .............................Sooty 07:35............... Thunderbirds are Go 08:00 ................Ninjago: Rise of the Snakes 08:25...................... ITV News 08:30...................... Weekend 09:25... Murder, She Wrote 11:20 .........Chopping Block 12:20...................... ITV News 12:25.............. Judge Rinder 13:25.............. Tipping Point 14:25.......................... Victoria 15:30................ The X Factor 16:30..................... World Cup Qualifier 19:30................ ITV News London 20:00.......... The X Factor

CW

22:20 ........... BBC London News

21:00......... Dragons’ Den

21:00................Victoria

22:00.................. Fleabag

22:30 ..............Room 101

22:30................ Murder in Successville

22:05 .........ITV News and Weather

23:10 ............... Insomnia

W C choice

4

01:00 ..... Weather for the Week Ahead

23:00............... Imagine...

01:05............... BBC News

01:40.............. Holby City

00:45.............Countryfile

choice

22:20............... World Cup Qualifier Highlights 23:35......................Rugby Highlights 00:35............ Jackpot247

Victoria ITV1, 21.00

Victoria’s uncle Leopold capitalises on this, urging Victoria to secure the monarchy by marrying her cousin Albert. Sensing an opportunity to a finally control the headstrong Queen, Conroy latches on to the plan. Victoria however demonstrates utter indifference to all suitors, because (as Leopold rightly suspects) the only man that really interests Victoria is her Prime Minister. When the Chartists strike again, Victoria is compelled to confess the depth of her feelings to Melbourne. The distress of her senior dresser Jenkins at the brutal execution of the Chartists inspires Victoria to defy Melbourne’s harsh ruling and a more lenient sentence is granted. She is outraged to hear that Albert is arriving at Leopold’s behest.

Victoria comes to the throne at a time of great economic turbulence and resurgent republicanism – and died 64 years later the head of the largest empire the world had ever seen, having revitalised the throne’s public image and become ‘grandmother of Europe’.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

th

S eptember

06:20............... Weekend of a Champion 08:00 ........................... Frasier 08:30........................... Frasier

06:00 .....................Peppa Pig 06:05 .........Toby’s Travelling Circus

09:00 .......... Sunday Brunch

06:15 ........................Angelina Ballerina

12:00 .....................Formula 1

06:30 ..........Bob the Builder

15:30....................... Location, Location, Location

06:40 ........... Wanda and the Alien

16:30 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 17:30 .........................Channel 4 News 18:05................ Toy Story of Terror 18:30............Roald Dahl’s Most Marvellous Book

06:50 .........Zack and Quack 07:05................................ Pets 07:10...... Noddy in Toyland 07:20.................... Paw Patrol 07:35 ............. Little Princess 07:50 ......................Pip Ahoy!

08:10 ...............Blaze and the Monster Machines 08:35 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

20:00 .............Speed with Guy Martin

08:50 ....................... Shimmer and Shine

21:30 .............The Wolf of Wall Street

09:15 ...................Jelly Jamm 09:30..................... LazyTown 09:55............. The Fairly Odd Parents

06:00 ..............The Hot Desk 06:10 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:35 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus 09:40 ...... Coronation Street Omnibus 12:15 ................The X Factor 13:15.... The Xtra Factor Live 14:15.... Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! Gold 15:15.............. Looney Tunes: Back in Action 17:05.............Hotel for Dogs 19:05............Jack and Jill 21:00...................The Xtra Factor Live 22:00............. Family Guy 23:30.......American Dad! 00:25........... Bordertown 00:55.........The Cleveland Show 01:50......Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

06:00................ Doctor Who

06:00.... The Hour of Power

07:15..... Jay Leno’s Garage 08:00 .......................Top Gear 09:00....................... Top Gear 10:00 .......................Top Gear 11:00 .......Red Bull Soapbox Race 12:00..... Jay Leno’s Garage 13:00.................... Zoolander 14:50 .................Trawlermen 15:30.......................... Storage Hunters UK 16:00........ The Dirty Dozen 19:00............... Jay Leno’s Garage 20:00................ Top Gear 21:00...... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00....................... Suits 23:00................ Parks and Recreation 00:30.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:30..... 8 Out of 10 Cats

06:25................ Doctor Who 06:50......................... DIY SOS 07:20......................... DIY SOS 08:20.................... EastEnders Omnibus 10:55................. Judge Faith 11:50................. Judge Faith 12:20....... My Dream Home 13:20................. Doctor Who 15:20................. Doctor Who 17:20.............Outnumbered 18:00....... Outnumbered 19:20 .......Outnumbered 20:00 ...... Beauty and the Beast 21:00 ......John Bishop: In Conversation With ...

22:00................ Sherlock 00:00............ Code Black 01:40....... Derren Brown: Trick or Treat

08:55........................... Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures 09:20.......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 09:50............ Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 10:55.............. Phil Spencer’s Stately Homes 11:55 ................... Come Dine with Me 14:40............... Four in a Bed 17:20 ............. Come Dine with Me 20:00....... Grand Designs 21:00............. Father Ted 22:05.......... Britain’s Best Loved Sitcoms 23:10...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:15 ............ 24 Hours in A and E 01:20..........That’s So Last Century

10:13 .............The Fairly Odd Parents 10:30.............. Football on 5 11:30.................... Now That’s Funny!

01:05...............Formula 1

07:00................ Monkey Life

13:30...................... Penelope

08:30 ..................... Futurama

15:15 ......................Paul Blart: Mall Cop

09:30 ..................... Futurama 10:30..................... Futurama

17:00 ............Grannies Make You Laugh Out Loud

11:00 .................... WWE Raw

18:00 ....... Pets Make You Laugh Out Loud 2

12:00 ....................Road Wars 14:00........... Modern Family 15:00 ...........Modern Family 16:00 .............The Simpsons

19:00 ...........Cricket on 5

17:00 .............The Simpsons

20:00 ............... Inside the White House

18:00 ....... The Simpsons 19:00 ....... The Simpsons

20:55.....................5 News Weekend

20:00......... The Last Ship

21:00 ......Most Shocking

22:00............. Ross Kemp: Extreme World

23:55................. Autopsy: The Last Hours of Michael Hutchence 00:55..........Super Casino

21:00......................... Zoo

23:00............Stop, Search Seize 00:00............... The Force: Manchester 01:00.......Air Ambulance

06:00............. Football Gold 07:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 08:00.......... Premier League Legends 09:00.................. The Sunday Supplement 10:30........ Goals on Sunday 11:30 ........................ Football 16:30 ............. Football Gold 16:55....... Live International Football 19:00...Live International Football 22:00.......... International Football 22:30.Golovkin - Ko King 22:45.......................... Kell Brook - Sheffield Legacy 23:00.......... International Football 01:00... Goals on Sunday

27 CW

W C choice A Very British Deterrent BBC2, 20:00

With Trident renewed for another generation, this documentary tells the story of the remarkable events, eye-watering costs, power relationships and secret deals done half a century ago to secure Britain’s very first submarinelaunched nuclear missiles. At the height of the Cold War, a series of political and technical crises came close to leaving Britain without a nuclear weapon of its own. In a time of unprecedented international tension, one small loch in Scotland became a crucial bargaining chip to keep Britain in the nuclear game. Using the personal letters of prime ministers and presidents, eye-witness accounts and oncesecret documents, this film explores how the British prime minister Harold Macmillan seized every opportunity to further Britain’s nuclear ambitions, was prepared to trade a Scottish base for a new American weapon, and even jeopardised the crucial AngloAmerican relationship to keep Britain an independent nuclear power.

CW 28

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TV Guide

W C choice

Cold Feet ITV1, 21.00

The nation’s love affair with Cold Feet began in 1997 when the television audience was first introduced to friends Adam and Rachel, Pete and Jenny, Karen and David. Thirty-three episodes and five series later our favourite couples have earned themselves a place in television history.

We rejoin the characters in 2016 with stories written and conceived once again by Mike Bullen.

It’s been over ten years since we last caught up with the lives of Adam, Pete, Jenny, Karen and David and although many things have changed, deep down they haven’t. Older, but not necessarily wiser, the gang are reunited when Adam returns from working abroad to make an announcement but not everyone is as thrilled as he is.

Pete and Jenny have their own worries. Victims of the economic downturn, working two jobs to make ends meet, Pete is losing his zest for life. Jenny’s work as an Events Organiser is hardly raking it in. The only couple to have stood the test of time, theirs is a marriage set in stone, one which others aspire to, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, David’s marriage to his divorce Lawyer, Robyn (Lucy Robinson) has run its course. His professional life also leaves a lot to be desired and David is all too aware of the bright young things in the office ready to jump into his swivel chair. As the pressure of work and his expensive lifestyle mounts, can David retain his professional status without resorting to dirty tricks?

Karen on the other hand appears sorted; her marriage to David well behind her, she’s successfully climbed the ladder at work and raised three children almost singlehandedly. But it won’t be too long before the kids fly the nest and at work she’s hit a glass ceiling. So what’s next?

Content and confident, Karen stopped looking for love years ago, but the question is; has love stopped looking for her?

W C choice

We The Jury BBC2, 22.00

We The Jury is a comedy about jury duty, something William has dreamt of doing his whole life.

He’s always known he was destined to be a juror but he never imagined that when the day finally came he’d land the mother of all jury gigs - an actual murder trial.

The jury are a mismatched collection of enthusiastic fools, inconsiderate bullies and self-obsessed weirdos, constantly getting distracted from the case. Add in a demob-happy judge in her final trial and this has all the ingredients of a disaster.

William is played by Ed Easton and his fellow jurors by a stellar ensemble cast of Sophie Thompson, Diane Morgan, Oliver Maltman, David Schaal, Kenneth Collard, Kae Alexander, Vivienne Acheampong and Samson Kayo.

The judge is played by Maggie Steed and the defendant by Ricky Champ.

Kerry Howard also stars.

2nd September - 8th September 2016

M onday 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00...Dom on the Spot CW choice 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15.............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30.... BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15................... Think Tank 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45 ........................Yes Chef 16:30 ...Antiques Road Trip 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00..... BBC News at Six 18:30... BBC London News 19:00........The One Show 19:30.............. Inside Out 20:00............. EastEnders 20:30...............Panorama 21:00............Crimewatch 22:00.... BBC News at Ten 22:30.BBC London News 22:45............. Class of ‘92 23:45.......Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You 00:30..................Weather 00:35............... BBC News

06:00 ................. Fake Britain 06:45 ...........................Flog It! 07:30 ................. Make Me an Egghead 08:00 ........ Steve Backshall’s Extreme Mountain Challenge 09:00 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 .BBC Newsroom Live 12:00........The Daily Politics 13:00 ......................The Edge 13:45 ....................... Athletics 14:50 .......................Triathlon 16:15 ...... The Great Interior Design Challenge 17:15 ...........................Flog It! 18:00 ............. Debatable 18:30 ........... Make Me an Egghead 19:00.......Garden Rescue 19:30 .......... Great British Menu 20:00 .............. University Challenge 20:30 ........ Only Connect 21:00 ........ Ripper Street 22:00.........We the Jury CW choice 22:30 .............Newsnight 23:15........ Trust Me, I’m a Doctor 00:15.... The Great British Bake Off 01:15..............Countryfile Summer Diaries

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30.............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 .........Who’s Doing the Dishes?

16:00.............. Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..Coronation Street 20:00...... Celebrity Home Secrets 20:30 .Coronation Street 21:00.............Cold Feet CW choice 22:00..... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30.. ITV News London 22:40 ........The Murder of Sadie Hartley 00:10............... Newzoids 00:35............ Jackpot247

5

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TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

th

S eptember

05:45 ................... Come Dine with Me

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:15 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

06:40 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun

06:30.............. Fireman Sam

07:05 ..........King of Queens

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

06:40..................... Peppa Pig

07:30.......... King of Queens

06:45...................... Milkshake Monkey

08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:50 ..........Bob the Builder

08:30........ Everybody Loves Raymond

07:15 ......................Pip Ahoy!

09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00 .................. Undercover Boss USA 11:00 ....... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12:00......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 ................... Come Dine Champion of Champions 13:05 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 15:10................. Countdown

07:00 ............. Little Princess 07:30 .................Thomas and Friends 07:40 .......... Noddy: Toyland Detective 07:55 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:05......................... Wissper 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:00 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

06:00 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30..... Coronation Street 09:30 ............................. Psych 10:20 .................. Royal Pains 11:15 ................ Dinner Date 12:15 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 .....Coronation Street 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00............ Family Guy 22:00...... American Dad! 23:00 ............ Family Guy 23:30 .......... Bordertown 23:55 ........The Cleveland Show

06:00 ......... Dynamo Top 10 06:15 ........... Beauty and the Beast 07:00................... MasterChef Australia 08:00... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 09:00 .......My Dream Home 10:00.......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 13:00........ MasterChef USA 14:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ...... Brother v Brother 16:00 .......My Dream Home 17:00 ..............Tipping Point 18:00........ Tipping Point 19:00.........Choccywoccydoodah 19:30 ............ MasterChef Australia 21:00.......... Don’t Tell the Bride USA 22:00 ............ EastEnders 22:40 ......John Bishop: In Conversation With ...

23:40............... Life is Toff

08:55............................... Food Unwrapped 09:35 .....A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 11:40 ..........The Black Swan 13:25 ...................Time Team 15:35 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 17:50 ............ Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 18:55 ...........Building the Dream 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00......... Sarah Beeny’s Four Rooms 22:05....The World’s Most Famous Train 23:10............. 24 Hours in A and E 00:15... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:15......... Sarah Beeny’s Four Rooms

06:00.. The Dog Whisperer

07:20 .................... Scrapheap Challenge

06:00............. Football Gold 07:00 .................... WWE Raw 08:00................ International Football 09:30 ....Golovkin - Ko King 09:45 .................................. Kell Brook - Sheffield Legacy 10:00 ..................The Premier League Years 12:00................ International Football 13:30 ....Golovkin - Ko King 13:45.................................. Kell Brook - Sheffield Legacy 14:00.... Sporting Triumphs 15:00.................International Football 16:30............ Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2016/17 17:00........Live International Football 22:00.................... Boxing 22:15...Golovkin - Ko King 22:30....... Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2016/17 23:00... MLS Goals Round Up Show

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff 11:15 .......Cowboy Builders 12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .. The Cars That Made Britain Great

07:00 ..... It’s Me or the Dog

16:00 .............. Gok’s Fill Your House for Free

13:15........ Home and Away

08:00 ...........Modern Family

08:10....................... Top Gear

13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15 ............................... NCIS

09:00 ..............................David Attenborough: Conquest

09:00 ..... Jay Leno’s Garage

17:00 ................... Come Dine with Me

10:00 ...... American Pickers

10:00 .......... Attenborough’s Natural History Museum

11:00 ........ Storage Hunters

11:30 ....................Road Wars

13:00 ...... American Pickers

18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30.............. Hollyoaks 19:00..... Channel 4 News 20:00...............The Billion Pound Flower Market 21:00..... 999: What’s Your Emergency?

22:00..................Too Posh to Parent 23:05...... Britain’s Benefit Tenants 00:10.... The Great British Sex Survey 01:30........ Travel Man: 48 Hours in Copenhagen

15:15.....Rags to Riches: The Ultimate Life 17:00...................5 News at 5 17:30..................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away 18:30...... 5 News Tonight 19:00..................Aircrash 20:00.Police Interceptors 21:00....Secrets of the SAS: In Their Own Words 22:00..... Tattoo Disasters UK: What Were You Inking?

23:05...Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons 00:05............... Gangland 01:00..........Super Casino

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:00 .......................Top Gear

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

14:00 ...... American Pickers: Crazy Car Finds

15:00 .............The Simpsons

15:00 ........ Storage Hunters

17:30 ..................... Futurama

15:30. Storage Hunters UK

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

16:00 .........Motorway Cops

20:00 ..... Attenborough’s Wild City

17:00 .......................Top Gear

21:00...... Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life

20:00 ......Have I Got a Bit More News for You

22:00.......... Freddie Fries Again 23:00............ A League of Their Own 00:00.......... Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates

19:00...American Pickers

21:00....................... QI XL 22:00...................Go 8 Bit 23:00....................... QI XL 00:00....................... QI XL 01:00...................Go 8 Bit

29 CW

W C choice Dom On The Spot BBC1, 11.00

Never before have so many on-thespot fines been issued in Britain, with more than 30 million pounds worth of tickets issued every month. But, however frustrating, these fines are here for a reason: to protect us.

Fronted by the people’s champion Dom Littlewood, Dom On The Spot delves behind the statistics to follow the men and women charged with upholding the law.

In this new daytime BBC One show Dom accompanies speed camera operators, parking attendants and council enforcers giving fines for crimes such as dog fouling and fly-tipping, as well as Traffic Police handing out speeding tickets and fines to road tax evaders.

Dom will be on the spot accompanying these officials, exploring why the fines are dished out and questioning why we break the law on a day to day basis He’ll also be meeting the victims affected by these day-to-day crimes.

CW 30

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

T uesday 06:00...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...... Dom on the Spot 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ......................BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 ........................Yes Chef 16:30 ........................Antiques Road Trip 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00 .... BBC News at Six 18:30 ........... BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30 ............ EastEnders 20:00 ............. Holby City 21:00 ...............One of Us 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:30 ........... BBC London News 22:45 ........Stacey Dooley Investigates 23:40..........Drugs Map of Britain 00:10...... Weather for the Week Ahead 00:15............... BBC News

W C choice

06:30 ...... Dom on the Spot 07:15 ........................Yes Chef 08:00................ Natural Born Winners 09:00 .......................... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 ...........BBC Newsroom Live 12:00....... The Daily Politics 13:00 ......The Super League Show 13:45 ...................... Three Up, Two Down 14:15...................... Hi-De-Hi! 14:45................ Yes, Minister 15:15 ....Cairngorms: A Year in the Wild 16:15 ...... The Great Interior Design Challenge 17:15 ...........................Flog It! 18:00 ............. Debatable 18:30 ........... Make Me an Egghead 19:00 ......Garden Rescue 19:30........... Great British Menu 20:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Chicken and Egg 21:00................ New York: America’s Busiest City 22:00.........Motherland CW choice 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15......... Dragons’ Den 00:15................ A Week in the Wild 01:15.............. An Hour to Save Your Life

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 13:55....................... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00......... Who’s Doing the Dishes?

16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00.................... The Chase 18:00................ ITV News London 18:30........................... ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30.................Fishing Impossible

CW

choice

20:00.................... Garden Nightmares 21:00................Rookies

CW

choice

22:00............. ITV News at Ten and Weather

22:30................. ITV News London 22:40.............. Lady C and the Castle 23:40................... Murder, She Wrote 00:30............ Jackpot247

Motherland BBC2, 22.00 Motherland is a show all about navigating the trials and traumas of middle-class motherhood, looking at the competitive side and unromantic take on parenting - not the cute and acceptable public face

of motherhood.

We meet the ‘Alpha Mums’ headed by Amanda (Lucy Punch - The Wedding Video) who is very much the Queen Bee: everything in her life is organised, clean and sparkly - even the kitchen cork board is a statement of success.

At the other end of the spectrum we meet Liz (Diane Morgan - Cunk On Shakespeare) who’s totally chaotic and feels the kids should enjoy free expression. Somewhere in the middle is Julia (Anna MaxwellMartin - Reg), who, when she forgets it’s the school holidays, realises her organisational skills are nowhere near the level of the ‘Alpha Mums’. Also in the mix is Kevin (Paul Ready Utopia), he’s the stay-athome dad, who rather than fighting against that, is embracing it with gusto - much to the irritation of the other mothers.

Motherland is written

by Graham Linehan (Count Arthur Strong, Father Ted), Sharon Horgan (Catastrophe, Pulling), Helen Linehan and Holly Walsh (Dead Boss). It is a co-production between Merman and Delightful Industries and is produced by Richard Boden and directed by Graham Linehan.

6

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TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

6 th

S eptember

06:15.............. 3rd Rock from the Sun

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:40 ..............3rd Rock from the Sun

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

07:10 ..........King of Queens

06:30.............. Fireman Sam

07:35.......... King of Queens

06:40 .....................Peppa Pig

08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:45... Milkshake Monkey

08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond

07:00 ............. Little Princess

09:00........................... Frasier

06:10............. Chloe’s Closet

06:50.......... Bob the Builder 07:15 ......................Pip Ahoy!

09:30 ........................... Frasier

07:30 .................Thomas and Friends

10:00 .................. Undercover Boss USA

07:40.......... Noddy: Toyland Detective

11:00 ....... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

07:55 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

12:00......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:05......................... Wissper

12:05.................... Come Dine Champion of Champions

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

13:05....................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:15..................... Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:00................... Bananas in 09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

15:10..................Countdown

12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime

16:00 .............. Gok’s Fill Your House for Free

12:15 ............The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

17:00 ................... Come Dine with Me

13:15 ........Home and Away

18:00........ The Simpsons

14:15 ............................... NCIS

19:00 .... Channel 4 News 20:00 ................ Location, Location, Location 21:00 ..................... Inside Birmingham Children’s Hospital 22:00.............. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

06:05 .........................DIY SOS 06:30 ...................MasterChef Australia 08:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 09:00 ...... Brother v Brother 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 13:00 ........ MasterChef USA 14:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ...... Brother v Brother 16:00....... My Dream Home 17:00...............Tipping Point 19:00.................. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 20:00............. MasterChef Australia 21:00...... One Born: What Happened Next?

22:00............. EastEnders 22:40...Gavin and Stacey 00:00............ Traffic Cops

08:55 ......Food Unwrapped

06:00.. The Dog Whisperer

07:00.. The Indestructibles 07:20 .................... Scrapheap Challenge 08:10....................... Top Gear 09:00 ...... American Pickers: Crazy Car Finds 10:00...... American Pickers 11:00 ........ Storage Hunters 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00 ...... American Pickers 14:00 ...... American Pickers: Crazy Car Finds 15:00........ Storage Hunters 15:30. Storage Hunters UK 16:00 .........Motorway Cops 17:00 .......................Top Gear 19:00...American Pickers 20:00....................... QI XL 22:00...... Mock the Week 23:20.... Russell Howard’s Good News 00:00....................... QI XL 01:00...... Mock the Week

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00....WWE SmackDown!

08:00 ................Boxing Gold 08:30 .......... Premier League 100 Club 09:00 ................International Football 09:30 ...........................Boxing 09:45.... Golovkin - Ko King 10:00................ International Football 11:00 ........... Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2016/17 11:30........... Premier League 100 Club 12:00...WWE From the Vault 12:30.................Boxing Gold 13:00............ Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2016/17 13:30.................International Football 15:00.................Boxing Gold 16:15 ....Golovkin - Ko King 16:30........... Premier League 100 Club 17:00.................Boxing Gold 17:45.....Golovkin - Ko King 18:00....... Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2016/17

13:45 .................Neighbours 15:15 ............ Truth and Lies 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away

07:00..... It’s Me or the Dog 08:00 ...........Modern Family 09:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ....................Road Wars 12:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 14:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 15:00 .............The Simpsons

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

17:30 ..................... Futurama

19:00.......................Police Interceptors

18:00 .............. Futurama 18:30 ....... The Simpsons

20:00...The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies

20:00 ..........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

21:00..... Inside the White House

21:00 .... Mount Pleasant

22:00..............Borderline

22:00 ...Micky Flanagan’s Detour De France

00:10..............First Dates

22:30................ The Hotel Inspector Returns

23:00............ A League of Their Own

23:30............ On Benefits

00:00......... Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates

01:35.................... Mobil 1 The Grid

W C choice

10:35 ......Food Unwrapped 11:10 ...River Cottage Bites 11:30 .Footsteps in the Fog 13:25 ...................Time Team 15:35 .....A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 17:50 .. Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 18:55 ...........Building the Dream 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00......... Phil Spencer’s Stately Homes 22:00................Obsessive Compulsive Country House Cleaners 23:05....My Big Fat Gypsy Holiday 00:10... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

11:15 .......Cowboy Builders

23:05............. 999: What’s Your Emergency?

01:05...........KOTV Boxing Weekly

09:35 .....A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun

Pajamas

14:10....................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

18:30 .............. Hollyoaks

06:00 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:30............................. Psych 10:20.................. Royal Pains 11:15................ Dinner Date 12:15 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 .....Coronation Street 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00 ... Fast and Furious 23:05............ Family Guy 23:35 ............ Family Guy 00:05 ......American Dad!

00:30.......Lip Sync Battle 01:15..........Super Casino

01:00.......Most Shocking

Fishing Impossible ITV1, 19.30

This new ten-part series for ITV and ITV4 is a fishing show like no other - an epic adventure travelogue in which three fishing fanatics travel the globe in an attempt to catch the most extraordinary marine creatures, in as many extreme and inventive ways as possible.

Criss-crossing the planet, the triumvirate - marine biologist Tom Hird AKA The Blowfish and his two friends Jay Lewis and Charles Butcher - face mortal danger in bear-infested Canadian rivers, bungee off bridges, dive under ice, and don chainmail armour in their efforts to catch the deadliest biggest and most elusive fish. Combining natural history, marine biology, laughs, exotic locations and people, this series delivers on thrills, spills, and deep sea Arctic diving for monster crabs..

31 CW

W C choice Britain’s Rookie Cops ITV1, 21.00

Seven ordinary people - from a dance teacher to a phlebotomist are about to make a life changing decision. They’re becoming Police Officers.

With exclusive access to Surrey Police, the Rookies and their families, this series reveals what it is like to be dropped into the front line of law enforcement without any experience and how this impacts their loved ones.

Tyne and Antony face one of their toughest shifts yet when they have to manage a volatile suspect in custody who threatens to harm them and himself.

Meanwhile Claudia has to deal with something that never came up in training school - a man that wants to be arrested.

Finally, the rookies hit the streets alone, away from the watchful eye of their tutors who have guided them through their first steps into life on the frontline.

They have to assist with calls ranging from theft to an attempted murder.

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TV Guide

W C choice

2nd September - 8th September 2016

W ednesday

Our Girl BBC1, 21.00

Lance Corporal Georgie Lane (Michelle Keegan, pictured), an experienced army medic joins Captain James (Ben Aldridge) and 2 Section on a humanitarian tour to Kenya. She has promised her fiancé, Doctor Jamie Cole (Royce Pierreson) that she’ll return home soon to marry him.

2 Section is posted to a refugee camp near the border of Somalia and as soon as they pull into the camp Georgie jumps straight to work, when an IED explodes harming many refugees.

When aid worker, Kicki (Anna Tenta), is kidnapped, Georgie’s determination to find her lands her in great danger.

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...... Dom on the Spot 11:45 C . aught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00....... BBC News at One 13:45......................... Doctors 14:15................... Think Tank 15:00............... Escape to the Country 15:45 ........................Yes Chef 16:30....Antiques Road Trip 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 18:30 .BBC London News 19:00....... The One Show 19:30 .......Rip Off Britain 20:00 ... The Great British Bake Off 21:00................Our Girl

CW

choice

22:00... BBC News at Ten

22:30 ........... BBC London News 22:45 .............A Question of Sport 23:15.. Live at the Apollo 00:00..................Weather 00:05............... BBC News

W C choice

06:30 ...... Dom on the Spot 07:15........................ Yes Chef 08:00....................... See Hear 08:30 ...... The Hairy Builder 09:00 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 .BBC Newsroom Live 11:30 .......The Daily Politics 13:00 ......................The Edge 13:45 ............. Three Up, Two Down 14:15...................... Hi-De-Hi! 14:45 ................Yes, Minister 15:15.................. Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom 16:15 ...... The Great Interior Design Challenge 17:15 ...........................Flog It! 18:00 ............. Debatable 18:30............ Make Me an Egghead 19:00 ......Garden Rescue 19:30........Great British W C Menu choice 20:00............ Skies Above Britain 21:00......Natural World CW choice 22:00........People Just Do Nothing 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15.................. Horizon 00:15.................See Hear 00:45....Britain’s Hardest Workers: Inside the Low Wage Economy

06:00............ Good Morning Britain 08:30 ........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30.ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00......... Who’s Doing the Dishes?

16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00.................... The Chase 18:00.. ITV News London 18:30. ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..Coronation Street 20:00............All Star Mr W C and Mrs choice 21:00............DCI Banks

22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:30.. ITV News London

22:40..........Everything or Nothing: The Untold Stories of 007 00:30........British Touring Car Championship Highlights 01:40............ Jackpot247

Natural World Great British Menu BBC2, 21:00

Wildlife cameraman Vianet Djenguet returns to his beloved Congo to explore the extraordinary wildlife of this remarkable country. Far from being the dark heart of Africa, Vianet reveals a vibrant, wonderful place full of surprising landscapes, incredible people and amazing animals. Vianet takes us from dramatic coasts to pristine rainforest on a wildlife voyage of discovery, meeting inquisitive baby chimpanzees, majestic forest elephants and elusive lowland gorillas. Seen through the eyes of one of its proudest sons, Vianet offer us a unique insight into his homeland.

CW

choice

BBC2, 19:30 Creative culinary competition. The nation’s top chefs are competing for the ultimate prize - the chance to cook at a banquet held at the Palace of Westminster. It is the main course and chef Chris Wheeler is out to show just how theatrical he can be - his ideas are surprising everyone in the kitchen. No one knows quite what to expect and the veteran chef is hoping it tastes as good as it looks.

Once again, Josh is challenging himself with a complex dish with many elements - his dish celebrates different cuts of beef and includes ox heart. It is an unusual choice which takes skilful cooking to prevent it being tough. Josh is also cooking sweet breads in marmite and maple syrup. And Jude is out to impress with his trademark Asian flavours, using them to transform the classic cottage pie.

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TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

ednesday 7 th S eptember

06:15........................ 3rd Rock from the Sun 06:40 ........................ 3rd Rock from the Sun 07:10........................... King of Queens 07:35 ........................... King of Queens 08:00 .................... Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30.................... Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00........................... Frasier 09:30........................... Frasier 10:00 .................. Undercover Boss USA

06:00............. The Wotwots!

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet 06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .....................Peppa Pig 06:45 ... Milkshake Monkey 06:50 ..........Bob the Builder 07:00............. Little Princess 07:15...................... Pip Ahoy!

07:30 .................Thomas and Friends 07:40 .......... Noddy: Toyland Detective 07:55 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:05......................... Wissper 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

11:00 ....................... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

08:35.................... Paw Patrol

12:00 ..................... Channel 4 News Summary

09:00 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

12:05 ................... Come Dine Champion of Champions

11:15....... Cowboy Builders

13:05 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:50................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat

06:00......... Dynamo Top 10 06:10........... Beauty and the Beast 07:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 08:00.... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 09:00 ...... Brother v Brother 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 13:00 ........ MasterChef USA 14:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00...... Brother v Brother 16:00....... My Dream Home 17:00.............. Tipping Point 19:00............ MasterChef Australia 20:00.................. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 21:00 .........Happy Valley 22:20............. Zoolander 00:00.Iceland Foods: Life in the Freezer Cabinet 01:00............Doctor Who

08:55 ......Food Unwrapped 09:35 .....A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 10:35 ......Food Unwrapped 11:10 ...River Cottage Bites 11:30.. Went The Day Well?

13:25 ...................Time Team 15:35 .....A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 16:40......A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 17:50... Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 18:55............Building the Dream 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 22:05............. 24 Hours in A and E 23:10...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:15... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

06:00.. The Dog Whisperer

07:00 .. The Indestructibles 07:20 .................... Scrapheap Challenge 08:10........................Top Gear 09:00...... American Pickers 10:00 ...... American Pickers 11:00 ........ Storage Hunters 11:30........ Storage Hunters 12:00....................... Top Gear 13:00...... American Pickers 15:00........ Storage Hunters 15:30 .Storage Hunters UK 16:00......... Motorway Cops 17:00....................... Top Gear 19:00 ..American Pickers 20:05. Jay Leno’s Garage 21:00 ...................... QI XL 22:00 ..............Room 101 23:20........................... QI 00:00...................... QI XL 01:00 ..............Room 101 01:40 ..............Room 101

06:00............. Football Gold 07:00....... WWE Experience 08:00................ Boxing Gold 08:30 .......... Premier League 100 Club 09:00.......... Premier League Legends 09:30 .....................Kell Brook 10:00 ..................The Premier League Years 12:00 ..............La Liga World 12:30 ................Boxing Gold 13:00 ..................Fight Night 15:00 ................Boxing Gold 16:00 .....................Kell Brook 16:30 .......... Premier League 100 Club 17:00.............. La Liga World 17:30..................... Kell Brook 18:00................... Cricket 22:00.Gennady Golovkin - Behind the Ropes 22:15.............. Kell Brook 22:30.... Barclays Premier League World 23:00......... La Liga World

09:15........ The Wright Stuff 12:10 ....5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ... Police Interceptors 13:15 ........Home and Away 13:45..................Neighbours 14:15............................... NCIS 15:15........... First-Class Fear 17:00...................5 News at 5

15:10..................Countdown

17:30 .................Neighbours

16:00 ........................ Gok’s Fill Your House for Free

18:00.... Home and Away

17:00 ................... Come Dine with Me

06:00........ Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 08:30............... Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed 09:30 ............................. Psych 10:20.................. Royal Pains 11:15 ................ Dinner Date 12:15 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed! Gold 20:00 ...............Two and a Half Men 21:00 ........ Hell’s Kitchen 22:00........... The Vampire Diaries 22:55 ............ Family Guy 23:50...... American Dad! 00:45 ...............Two and a Half Men

18:30...... 5 News Tonight 19:00.... Stop! Roadworks Ahead

07:00 ..... It’s Me or the Dog 08:00 ...........Modern Family 09:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 11:00 ....................Road Wars 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 14:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 15:00............. The Simpsons 16:00 .............The Simpsons 17:00 .............The Simpsons

20:00............ GPs: Behind Closed Doors

17:30..................... Futurama

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

21:00 ......Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

20:00 .Stop, Search, Seize

19:00 ..................Channel 4 News

22:00............Undercover: Nailing the Fraudsters

20:00 ..........The Last Leg

23:05................ Secrets of the SAS: In Their Own Words

18:00.......................... The Simpsons

21:00 ........... Paralympics 2016 01:30 ................One Born Every Minute

00:05............Cricket on 5 01:05..........Super Casino

18:30........ The Simpsons 21:00 ............ Ross Kemp: Extreme World 22:00 ...............The Force 23:00 ............A League of Their Own 00:00 ......... Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates 01:00.......Most Shocking

33 CW

W C choice All Star Mr and Mrs ITV1, 20:00

Phillip Schofield presents the game show in which three celebrity couples battle it out to see who knows the most about their other half in a bid to win up to 30,000 pounds for their chosen charity. All they need to do is match each other’s answers, but it is not as easy as it seems! The couples hoping to win this week are Coronation Street star Tristan Gemmill and his wife Emily, actor Peter Davison and his wife Elizabeth and TV presenter Amanda Byram and her husband Julian.

DCI Banks ITV1, 21:00

Crime drama series. The apparent suicide of Steve Richards’ daughter Kat leaves the grieving father to conduct his own unique brand of investigation, relying on violence to procure answers.

Banks is suspicious, a hunch that is confirmed when it seems that Kat’s death is not suicide after all - someone else may have been involved. But if so, who?

CW 34

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TV Guide

W C choice

Absolutely Fashion: Inside British Vogue

2nd September - 8th September 2016

T hursday

BBC2, 21.00

For the first time in British Vogue’s 100 year history it has allowed TV cameras to film behind closed doors, granting documentary maker Richard Macer unprecedented access to the UK’s style bible, its cover stars, designers, and those who run it, as the magazine prepares to celebrate its centenary.

This candid two-part documentary series uncovers the world of high fashion like never before, giving viewers a fascinating insight into an ever-changing industry. Over nine months, Macer gives us his personal observations as he witnesses how the magazine is put together - from the catwalk shows to front cover shoots.

Fresh from the September 2015 shows, we meet Alexandra Shulman, Editor-In-Chief for the past 24 years. Macer follows Shulman and several of the magazine’s creative heads, including Fashion Director Lucinda Chambers, who has worked there for 36 years, Creative Director Jamie Perlman, and Editor-at-large Fiona Golfar.

Gaining access to shoots with some of fashion’s most iconic figures Edie Campbell, Mario Testino and Kate Moss, the face of more British Vogue covers than anyone else - Macer soon discovers that neither photographers nor models are particularly comfortable with his camera.

In a significant year for the magazine, with a raft of special events and a bumper centenary issue, the films observe a world not just intent of celebrating the glories of the past, but also facing up to the challenges of an uncertain future. With Instagram and other social media starting to challenge the magazine’s exalted position, can Shulman keep it on top?

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ...... Dom on the Spot 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 ...... BBC News at One 13:30 ....BBC London News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 ........................Yes Chef 16:30 ...Antiques Road Trip 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.... BBC News at Six 18:30 .BBC London News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30............. EastEnders 20:00................Ingenious Animals 21:00 ...... Question Time 22:00 ... BBC News at Ten 22:30 .BBC London News 22:45 ..Matron, Medicine and Me: 70 Years of the NHS 23:30............. Possession

W C choice Paul O’Grady: For The Love Of Dogs ITV1, 20.30 Paul O’Grady returns to Battersea Dogs & Cats Home for eight brand new episodes of canine commotion in this award winning series. As ever, he rolls up his sleeves to help care for troubled dogs, supporting them through some heart-breaking moments with his unique blend of love, charm and humour.

In today’s episode, Paul’s on hand to help out three dogs all in need of some companionship. First up, he meets the excitable 10-month-old mongrel, Blake, who loves nothing more than playing with his toys. But Paul quickly realises Blake’s sight isn’t as it should be and the clinic confirm his worst fears. So Paul is giving the challenge of finding Blake a suitable friend who can act as his guide dog - so à la ‘Blind Date’, he finds three possible candidates. However, will any be suitable?

Also in need of some company is Jacko the Jack Russell, who’s been feeling down in the dumps since he arrived at Battersea. Paul does his best to cheer him up, but struggling to make much headway, he introduces mopey Jacko to some relaxing pongs - but will a course of daily boudoir balms do the trick and blow away Jacko’s blues?

The last dog in need of a friend is Forest, a 14-week-old Saluki, who’s all lonesome as he’s having to spend time in quarantine due to an infectious tummy bug. Being just a puppy, very cute Forest is desperate for someone to play with. But with physical contact not allowed, can Paul come up with an innovative plan to try and keep him entertained until he’s better?

06:30...... Dom on the Spot 07:15 ........................Yes Chef 08:00 ...... Gardeners’ World 09:00 .. Victoria Derbyshire 11:00..BBC Newsroom Live 12:00 .......The Daily Politics 13:00 ......................The Edge 13:45 ...................... Three Up, Two Down 14:15 ...................... Hi-De-Hi! 14:45................ Yes, Minister 15:15 ................. Wild Burma: Nature’s Lost Kingdom 16:15 ...... The Great Interior Design Challenge 17:15 ...........................Flog It! 18:00 ............. Debatable 18:30............ Make Me an Egghead 19:00...... Garden Rescue 19:30........... Great British Menu 20:00 ....... Trust Me, I’m a Doctor 21:00............Absolutely CW Fashion choice 22:00............ The Premier League Football Show 22:30..............Newsnight 23:15............ All Together Now: The Great Orchestra Challenge

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 ............ Loose Women 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 13:55..... ITV News London 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 .........Who’s Doing the Dishes?

16:00................Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00... ITV News London 18:30... ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 ..................Tonight 20:00 ........... Emmerdale 20:30......Paul O’Grady: For The Love of Dogs

CW

choice

21:00...Inside Scotland W C Yard with Trevor choice Mcdonald 22:00..... ITV News at Ten 22:30................. ITV News London 22:40.... The Late Debate 23:10.................. Rookies

Inside Scotland Yard with Trevor McDonald ITV1, 21.00

Scotland Yard, the internationally famous symbol of policing, has almost 200-years of history filled with notorious names and infamous crimes.

In this two-part series, Sir Trevor McDonald explores the Metropolitan Police Service’s landmark investigations and is granted access behind the doors of its headquarters’ most sacrosanct rooms and meets some of the people who shaped the Met’s history.

The work of the Scotland Yard Detectives is documented in an extraordinary room inside the building, called The Crime Museum, which was created in 1875 to house exhibits from Scotland Yard’s most important cases. Sir Trevor takes a look at the ropes that hung notorious murderers, the Ricin pallet that killed a Russian dissident, and the apparatus used by the man dubbed the Acid Bath Murderer.

Sir Trevor discovers that across all the Met’s homicide squads in London, they deal with scores of murders a year, and visits Soho where he meets a former Met Detective who went 15 months without a murder on his patch and was then faced with 15 in one day.

Visiting the Met’s Heritage Centre in West London, Sir Trevor finds out that there were teething problems in the early days of the Met, which is evident as he looks through some early Discipline Records, dating back to those early days in 1829. It transpires that in the Met’s first six months of existence about half of the officers were dismissed, with drunkenness being the single biggest cause, and with one officer even being dismissed for milking a cow while on duty.

Sir Trevor also takes a look back at some of Scotland Yard’s most high-profile cases, including that of serial killer Dennis Nilsen, a former Metropolitan Police Officer, who plucked his victims from various pubs around London, and renowned East End gangsters The Krays.

He also finds out how Scotland Yard quickly adopted the new developments in DNA technology and how the fingerprint still remains as a significant string to the detectives’ bow.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

2nd September - 8th September 2016

8 th S eptember 06:15 ........................ 3rd Rock from the Sun

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet 06:20. Lily’s Driftwood Bay

06:40........................ 3rd Rock from the Sun

06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .....................Peppa Pig

07:10 ........................... King of Queens

06:45 ... Milkshake Monkey

07:35........................... King of Queens

07:00 ............. Little Princess

08:00 .................... Everybody Loves Raymond

07:30 .................Thomas and Friends

06:50 ..........Bob the Builder 07:15 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:40.......... Noddy: Toyland Detective

08:30.................... Everybody Loves Raymond

07:55........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

09:00 ........................... Frasier

08:05 .........................Wissper

09:30 ........................... Frasier

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

10:00 .................. Undercover Boss USA

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol

11:00....................... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

08:50 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:00.................... Bananas in Pajamas

12:00 ..................... Channel 4 News Summary

06:00 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:20 ................ Dinner Date 07:10 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:00 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

09:30............................. Psych 10:20 .................. Royal Pains 11:15................ Dinner Date 12:15.................. Emmerdale 12:45......Coronation Street 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50.................Take Me Out 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00........... Jack and Jill 22:00.....Celebrity Juice CW choice 22:50 ............ Family Guy 23:45 ......American Dad!

09:15.................... The Wright Stuff

12:05 ................... Come Dine Champion of Champions

11:15 ......................... Cowboy Builders

06:00......................... The Dog Whisperer

07:00.................................. The Indestructibles

07:00..... It’s Me or the Dog

07:20 .................... Scrapheap Challenge

12:10........................... 5 News Lunchtime

16:00 ..................Paralympics 2016 Live

12:15 ......The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies

18:00........ The Simpsons

13:15.........Home and Away

08:30 ...........Modern Family

13:45 .................Neighbours

09:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

14:15 ............................... NCIS

11:00 ....................Road Wars

15:15 .....Presumed Dead in Paradise

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

17:00.................. 5 News at 5

15:00 .............The Simpsons

17:30 .................Neighbours

16:00 .............The Simpsons

18:00 ... Home and Away

17:00 .............The Simpsons

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

17:30 ..................... Futurama

19:00 ............... Secrets of Underground Britain

18:00............... Futurama

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

20:00 ........... On Benefits

19:00.................. Channel 4 News

21:00..... Gypsy Kids: Our Secret World

19:30 ..........The Last Leg

22:00 .............. Gangland

20:30........Paralympics 2016 Live

23:05 .............. Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

CW

choice

08:55............................... Food Unwrapped 09:35...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 10:30 ......Food Unwrapped 11:05 .................. The Sons of Katie Elder 13:30...... Channel 4 Racing 16:00 .........World’s Weirdest Homes 17:40.......... Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free 18:00........... Paralympics 2016 Live 19:00.........Couples Come Dine with Me 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00............... The Secret Life of the Zoo 22:00............. 24 Hours in A and E 23:05..........Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

13:00 ..................Paralympics 2016 Live

W C choice

06:00 ......... Dynamo Top 10 06:15 ........... Beauty and the Beast 07:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 08:00... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 09:00 ...... Brother v Brother 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 13:00......... MasterChef USA 14:00 ... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00....... Brother v Brother 16:00........My Dream Home 17:00...............Tipping Point 19:00...................Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 20:00............. MasterChef Australia 21:00.......John Bishop: In Conversation With ...

22:00............. EastEnders 22:40...Gavin and Stacey

08:00........... Modern Family

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

18:30........ The Simpsons 20:00 ............Big Cats: An Amazing Animal Family 21:00 ....... The Simpsons 22:00 ..... Modern Family 22:30...... Modern Family 23:00............ A League of Their Own

08:10....................... Top Gear 09:00...... American Pickers: Crazy Car Finds 10:00 ...... American Pickers 11:00........ Storage Hunters 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00 ...... American Pickers 14:00 ...... American Pickers: Crazy Car Finds 15:00 ........ Storage Hunters 16:00 .........Motorway Cops 17:00 .......................Top Gear 18:00 ................Top Gear 19:00 ..American Pickers 20:00 ...................... QI XL 22:00...... Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:00....................... QI XL

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00... WWE SmackDown!

08:00................ Boxing Gold 08:30.......... Premier League 100 Club 09:00......... Barclays Premier League World 09:30 ... Gennady Golovkin 09:45 .....................Kell Brook 10:00 ..................The Premier League Years 12:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 12:30................ Boxing Gold 16:00 ... Gennady Golovkin 16:15..................... Kell Brook 16:30 .......... Premier League Legends 17:00 .........Barclays Premier League World 17:30 ... Gennady Golovkin 17:45 .....................Kell Brook 18:00........ Football Gold 18:30...... Premier League Match Pack 19:30 ..............Live Super League Play-Offs 22:30.................... Boxing 22:45.Gennady Golovkin

35 CW

W C choice

Paralympics 2016 Live Channel 4, 20:30

Clare Balding presents an action-packed first evening of live sporting action from Rio with no less than six strong British contenders going for gold tonight, and many more in the running. Dame Sarah Storey goes for a record 12th Paralympic title as she attempts to retain her Individual Pursuit crown and world champion Megan Giglia also rides for gold in the velodrome. In the Aquatics Centre, Paralympics GB has multiple gold medal prospects, with 2012 hero Ollie Hynd in action.

Stephanie Millward and Aaron Moores are also chasing glory in the pool. Plus, 2012 poster boy Jonnie Peacock starts his defence of his T44 100m title in the Olympic Stadium.

Celebrity Juice ITV2, 22.00

ITV2 favourite Keith Lemon returns this week with a triumphant sixteenth series of his hit show Celebrity Juice.

The outrageous comedy panel show is one of the most popular programmes on the channel, with a host of big name celebrities lining up to appear despite the show’s reputation for ritual humiliation of its guests.

Guests appearing last series included comedians Jimmy Carr, Chris Ramsey and Johnny Vegas, reality TV stars Joey Essex and Vicky Pattison, Big Brother and Xtra Factor presenter Rylan Clark-Neal, daytime TV host Eamonn Holmes and TV presenters Zoe Ball and Phillip Schofield.

After previous memorable stints as guest captain during Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton’s respective maternity breaks, This Morning’s cheeky chef Gino D’Acampo returned last series as a regular guest panellist. He is back again for more this series, but who else will be joining the panel?

A host of new stars are likely to be joining the regulars for the opening show of the series as Keith thinks up ever more weird, wonderful and downright disgusting ways to embarrass them!

CW 36

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What’s On

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Tuesday Treat at Showtime!

Pinolere Craft Fair 2016

Three days dedicated to the work of artisans from all disciplines, from modern style to the most traditional local craftsmanship.

Contemporary ceramics, linked especially to creative cuisine, are the main component of this edition. In addition to the exhibition and sale When: stalls, craftsfrom 2 to 4 September men hold workshops Where: and exhibits Pinolere Ethnographic so you can Park in La Orotava get to know More info: more about www.pinolere.org their work.

Treat the kids, treat the family, treat yourself with this special show on Tuesday. For the kids..... meet Olaf and the cast of Frozen and have your photo taken with them. Kids get free kids cocktails also 2 adults = 1 child FREE. Special offer for Residents SHOW ONLY ticket: 25 euros (kids 10 euros) Show & Meal: 30 euros (kids 15 euros) Show, meal & drinks: 36 euros (kids 20 euros) Gold VIP (includes local spirits): 42 euros (kids 25 euros) When: Tuesday 6th September Where: Showtime, Karting Las Americas More info: showtimetenerife.com or 669 622 622

Summer Art Exhibition

The Hearts of Tejina An absolutely unique event in the calendar of festivals ‘The Hearts of Tejina’.

Three huge hearts made with branches and adorned with flowers and fruits are the undisputed stars of this colourful festive tradition.

Neighbours of Calle de Arriba, la Calle de Abajo and El Pico compete to create the most spectacular composition.

The program of events includes, besides the lifting of the hearts, dances, musical performances, children’s and sports activities and competitions.

‘Summer Exhibition’ brings together pieces of more than 90 young artists, a selection of works of contemporary art that have in common the summer as a theme and will bring colour and freshness to ‘Círculo de Bellas Artes’.

When: Until 7th September Where: Círculo de Bellas Artes in Santa Cruz Info: Tel.: +34 922 246 496

Tegueste Tour

When: September 4th Where: Tejina More info: Web: www.aytolalaguna.com

Enjoy the scenery and explore the history of the town of Tegueste via over 30 thematic routes that take place throughout the year.

Specialised guides will show you the most beautiful scenery of the town, its historical, artistic and archaeological heritage and, of course, vineyards and everything related to its great wine tradition.

There are hiking trails, dramatised routes that will transport you to the past, or night routes for a unique experience under the moon.

When: Every Day More Info www.tegueste.org

www.canarianweekly.com

Entertainment

2nd September - 8th September 2016

37 CW

The laughter-filled life of genius Gene Wilder GENE Wilder, the comedy genius who starred in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and other much-loved films, has died at the age of 83.

The American actor also filled cinemas by appearing in Young Frankenstein, The Producers, Blazing Saddles, and Stir Crazy, but, sadly, passed away on Sunday night in Stamford, Connecticut, said his family.

His nephew, Jordan Walker-Pearlman, said the film legend had delayed making public his suffering from Alzheimer’s disease-related complications.

Mr Walker-Pearlman told Variety, the showbiz daily, that the illness “never stole his ability to recognise those who were closest to him, nor took command of his central, gentle, lifeaffirming core personality”.

He said his uncle’s decision not to disclose his condition for a long time was because “he simply couldn’t bear the idea of one less smile in the world”.

Wilder, the frizzyhaired, happy-go-

Living hell goes on for Sir Cliff

lucky actor, who was in his element when playing neurotic characters caught up in madcap schemes, was nominated for an Oscar twice.

He was up for Best Supporting Actor in 1969 for his role in The Producers, a Mel Brooks comedy. And the pair were also in the running for the Best Adapted Screenplay award for the 1975 Young Frankenstein film.

And Wilder excelled himself when playing Leo Bloom, a nervous accountant who conspired to flee with the profits from a Broadway flop entitled Springtime For Hitler.

Sheer brilliance!

Mel Brooks wrote on Twitter: “Gene Wilder - One of the truly great

talents of our time. He blessed every film we did with his magic & he blessed me with his friendship.”

In 1971, Wilder, in one of his beloved roles, assumed the mantle of Willy Wonka, which became a children’s favourite - and his original version still is!

He starred in two other Brooks’ comedies in 1974, Western spoof Blazing Saddles and gothic-horror parody Young Frankenstein.

Wilder also co-starred with Richard Pryor in the 1976 train-murder comedy Silver Streak.

He simply loved adopting crazy, hysterical roles, and the two paired up again in 1980 prison comedy Stir Crazy, which was another

box-office smash.

Wilder and Pryor also co-starred in See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989), and Another You in 1991.

He was born Jerome Silberman in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, in 1933, the son of a RussianJewish immigrant, His interest in comedy began when, as a six-year-old, he began devising skits to keep his mother amused after she had suffered a heart attack.

He began acting classes at 12, and continued performing during his college days. And in 1961 he went to Broadway.

Wilder had a small role as the hostage of gangsters in the 1967 classic Bonnie and Clyde, a year before The Producers.

VETERAN pop star Sir Cliff Richard is still not off the hook over alleged “abuse”, because the Crown Prosecution Service’s decision not to press charges against him is being reviewed.

The CPS has confirmed that at the beginning of August, one of the singer’s accusers lodged a challenge to the decision under the victims’ right-toreview scheme.

It is understood that a lawyer will consider the evidence before deciding whether to uphold or overturn the original CPS decision in June. And a CPS spokesman confirmed that the review was “ongoing”.

The 75-year-old who shot to fame with records such as his 1959 No.1 hit Living Doll, faced a lengthy police investigation after being accused of sexual assaults, dating between 1958 and 1983, by four men.

Officers from South

Yorkshire Police were, controversially, filmed carrying out searches of his Berkshire apartment in 2014, which led to his name being made public.

Sir Cliff was never arrested or charged, and his case was discontinued by the CPS earlier this year on the grounds of “insufficient evidence”.

At the time, he said: “I have always maintained my innocence, co-operated fully with the investigation, and cannot understand why it has taken so long to get to this point.

“Nevertheless, I am obviously thrilled that the vile accusations and the resulting investigation have finally been brought to a close.”

In his 57-year career, Sir Cliff has sold 250 million singles, including The Young Ones, Summer Holiday and Mistletoe And Wine, the Christmas No.1 in 1988.

Old Beatles record is sold for £18,000 A RECORD written by The Beatles for their good pal Cilla Black, and uncovered by her nephew after more than 50 years, has sold for £18,000 at auction.

The demo recording of It’s For You, written for Cilla by fellowScousers John Lennon and Sir Paul McCartney, was discovered by her relative, Simon White, whose father had received it from his sister,

Cilla, when he was 18.

But while Mr White’s dad assumed it was just a copy of her recording of the song, which reached No.7 in the charts, it was actually the original demo, sung by Paul and delivered to Cilla at the

London Palladium in 1964.

Cilla who died, tragically, just over a year ago at her Spanish holiday home, wrote about the record in her book, What’s It All About?

The record was sold last Saturday as part

of the 25th Beatles Memorabilia Auction, organised by The Beatles Shop, at the Unity Theatre in Liverpool.

After listening to the record initially, Stephen Bailey, shop manager and Beatles expert, said: “I was shaking with excitement and was speechless.

“I realised that this was the long-lost Beatles demo disc from 1964, and that I was probably one of the few people to have seen and heard it in over 50 years.

What I had in my hand was probably the only copy in existence.”

Simon White donated the record with a letter, explaining how his father - an avid collector - had looked after it for years after Cilla gave it to him.

He wrote: “When we found out that Sir Paul had not retained his own copy of the recording, as a courtesy and gesture of respect, we agreed it would be only right that, of all people, he be allowed to make a copy of the recording for himself for the sole use of adding it to his personal archive.

Other than the single copy of the recording he

now has, we know of no other.”

Assistant store manager Anne-Marie Trace said: “It’s so hard to find something of The Beatles that hasn’t been released in some way or other. There has been interest from all over the world.”

Mr Bailey added: “I urge all Beatles fans to search their bottom drawers and attics where they could have put Beatles memorabilia years ago and forgotten all about them.

“You just never know what you may find - or what it is worth!”

CW 38

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Motoring

2nd September - 8th September 2016

By Emma at Motorworld

TO most British drivers here in Tenerife, holiday-makers or residents, the thought of tackling a roundabout always seems to leave a feeling of dread.

Will you make it safely?

Will the other drivers around be following the rules of the road? Will they signal where they’re going?

In most cases, the answer is almost certainly No! I am sure we have all seen many near-misses by drivers trying to exit a roundabout from the inside lane.

Under Spanish law, this is not the correct lane to be in if you wish to exit at the next turning, because you will almost certainly find yourself cutting in front of cars going around the outside.

And, should an accident or incident occur,

39 CW

Car swings and roundabouts

the driver on the inside lane will be guilty.

Confused? I’m not surprised!

A recent case investigated by the Guardia Civil was prompted by insurance companies, who believed that certain gangs were operating a scam and claiming vast amounts of money by involving the police.

They would approach roundabouts in the outside lane and, when a driver attempted to exit from the inside lane, they would accelerate swiftly to cause an accident deliberately.

Often, there was little or minor damage to the vehicle. But, by calling the police, their claims were strengthened by faking injuries because they would be asked by officers if any one had been hurt.

And always, of course, someone was injured, so these people would go to

hospital with fake injuries, get a medical report and then proceed with a compensation claim.

By attending the incident, the traffic police were, unwittingly, supporting these bogus claims. along with any witness charades.

The so-called crashes were performed by a gang, who chose the roundabouts carefully and usually had “witnesses” to support the claim.

Cases such as these were eventually highlighted by insurance companies, who notified the Guardia Civil.

And a prosecution case, based on several incidents, is now proceeding legally.

To make things clear on roundabouts, I must point out that unless there are signs, signals or clear road-markings, you should always exit a roundabout, here and throughout Spain, from

the right-hand, outside lane.

Also, be aware that unless any one is injured, or is aggressive, abusive or threatening if you have a minor bump in your vehicle, there is no need to call the police.

You simple fill out the accident claim form, as best you can, and both parties should sign it.

If you have any doubts about what the other driver has written - be it in Spanish, German,

Flemish, Russian, etc - it is important for you to write in the notes section that you do not understand that language.

Most people are honest, but there are unscrupulous drivers around who may write something that implicates the innocent party.

With more and more tourists coming to the Canary Islands because of civil unrest elsewhere, there will be more drivers unfamiliar with the rules of the road, so they will probably drive slower and, often, stop suddenly!

The best advice for regular, competent drivers here is to assume that those around you are not - and adjust your driving accordingly, slowing down if necessary.

It’s better to arrive at your destination five minutes late than be involved in an avoidable accident.

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Wine and Dine

2nd September - 8th September 2016

The Swan Fresh food served 7 days a week, all with good quality produce. We also cater for any special requirements.

Daily Specials. Friday: Cod and chips night. Sunday Lunch: 12noon - 8pm.

24hr notice for paella, lamb shank, fillet steak or ask us for anything you fancy.

Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings. Great entertainment, even greater value!

Adeje Chicken in Buzanada Adeje chicken in Buzanada has re-opened its doors with the new owners Bryan and his mum Chemy in the kitchen. You can still enjoy her home chicken recipes of fried, spicy, garlic, home made honey or even plain chicken breast together with her BBQ and special Canarian sauces. Now they also have meat and fish dishes available and much more. They have a menu of the day for only 6.80 euros plus a drink (Tues - Fri, 1pm - 4pm). A pint of beer for 1 euro and now offering sorbets of lemon, coco, cherry and mango.

Buzanada Roundabout, Buzanada.

In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos

Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm

Call: 602 601 634

Open: Tues-Sun 9.30am-10.30pm, kitchen closes 4pm-5pm. Closed Mondays.

Call: 922 728 290 / 629 331 124

ARDI Mediterranean Restaurant “Have I missed this kind of restaurant? YES!” THIS was a review by of one of ARDI’s guests. The Italian restaurant opened on 8th August, in El Camison and has already earned positive reviews on several social networks.

ARDI, owned by young couple, Gianluca and Alena and led by a fantastic, experienced chef, has a unique, “inviting” menu, comprising delicious food recipes, a fine wine selection and a catering service that includes high-quality products only, and exceptional ingredients.

The customer-service is also impeccable, and all these features provide an excellent background for one of the finest restaurants in Tenerife - and in such a short time!

Indeed, ARDI’s team know how to create the most memorable dining experience in a relaxed atmosphere, where the food is spectacular … and every bite is a slice of heaven!

This week, ARDI ofEl Camison, Las Americas fers the six-course Open: 12noon - 16.00, 19.00 - 23.00 Degustation menu for just 25 euros.

Please come and have a little of everything. You’ll definitely be back for more. Visit our facebook page: www.facebook.com/ardirestaurant

Call: 822 143 971

Roy’s Pizza Indian and Tandoori Looking for the best pizza restaurant in Las Americas? Roys is the best option for takeaway and deliveries.

Now celebrating 24 years in the business, Roy’s Pizza offers the largest selection of food delivery options in Tenerife South, and has many unique dishes to offer for your pleasure.

Whether its delicious currys or fabulous American pizzas, our food always hits the spot.

Just give us a call and we can deliver to your home or hotel.

The Crown Now offering an early evening meal deal: Book between 5pm- 7pm and get a FREE bottle of house wine.

Plus happy hour between 5pm-7pm, 1 euro a pint!

Dine in with the supersize American style portions, homemade burgers, ribs chicken, sunday dinners and much more or maybe try a fabulous cocktail, plus checkout the kids meals including food, drink and a toy. You’ll never be stuck for something to do at The Crown American sports bar, with pool tables, darts and all major sporting events shown live.

Valle San Lorenzo, just down the hill on the road to Buzanada.

Open: 4pm - midnight everyday. Closed Weds.

Call: 922 766 276 Lupita Parque de la Reina has a secret - Lupita restaurant is fast becoming the place to eat, and it has a well-deserved reputation. All the usual Mexican specialities are on offer, but from midday until 4pm, check out its 3.95-euro menu. You can have a bowl of soup or garlic bread, main meal (selection of 20) and ice cream or coffee to finish, which is excellent value for money.

Also, evening and weekend menus are available from 4.95-euros. Now open Mondays!

Special offer: Mixed Grill for 2 people with a bottle of wine only 20 euros.

San Eugenio Alto, Costa Adeje

Cañada Blanca 2, Parque de la Reina

Open: Everyday, 12pm - 2am

Open: 12noon - 11pm. Closed Tuesdays

Tel: 922 71 41 83

Call: 922 739 250

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Wine and Dine

2nd September - 8th September 2016

41 CW

Restaurant Los Fuegos, Los Cristianos

No beef with this beef WHAT better on a hot, August night than to learn that the restaurant you are reviewing is fully air-conditioned?

That’s exactly what we walked into at the Los Fuegos eaterie in Los Cristianos, and it was such a pleasure!

The décor had a trulytraditional Argentine feel about it - the first wall is covered with old-fashioned newspapers from that country.

Then, as you walk along, you see the winecooler, storing a wide range of quality wines to a perfect temperature.

The next item, which will catch the eye of every red-meat muncher, is the fridge, with giant joints of beef hanging.

As my companion approached the fridge, the chef came out to explain that hanging beef for a different number of days not only changed the flavour of the meat but also the texture.

Following the restaurant around, you come to the impressive woodfired barbecue, giving all the food that smoky flavour.

Having been shown to our table, we ordered our drinks: a specialist gin

and tonic, comprising Hendricks gin, five spices, juniper, lemon and an unusual, blue tonic.

Refreshingly perfect for a hot Tenerife evening.

The waiter explained that if you describe the flavours you like - citrus, fruity, sweet, etc - they will design a bespoke gin and tonic for you.

He then did the same with the wine and came up with a recommendation from Ribera del Duero called Figuero, which was a nice, fruity red.

As the drinks arrived, so did hot bread and butter, a fresh tomato, a garlic-and-herb dip and some crispy tostadas. And, no sooner had we tucked into the first piece than our starters were brought to the table.

We had selected a beef carpaccio, topped with the best quality olive oil, rocket and freshly-ground black pepper, with just a hint of lemon. This tasty morsel simply melted in the mouth.

We also had Iberian ham, carved off the bone in front of us, with just the right amount of fatto-meat ratio to provide a full flavour.

This was followed by an Argentine cheese, pro-

voleta, melted and gooey with herbs. Thank heavens for the speedy service because we still had bread left to dip.

Starters devoured, we eagerly awaited our main courses, which came highly recommended by the chef. We opted for

two T-bone steaks - one aged for 25-35 days and the star of the show, aged for 35-45 days!

As they arrived together at our table, we realised we had enough beef to feed the proverbial 5,000! Huge slabs of meat, thickly sliced and seared, with a hot stone provided to cook exactly to your liking. It certainly stops all those, “How do you want your steak

cooked?” sharing disagreements.

Both slabs would have delighted the marbling connoisseurs and nonfat lovers alike. The marbling softened and flavoured the meat, without leaving a greasy texture, and the fat on the outside would have suited Jack Spratt’s wife!

Truly delicious, and crisped up on the hot stone “No place for a limp lettuce,”¨ I hear you cry. But there were freshly-prepared salads, grilled vegetables, and fish dishes flying past our table that would satisfy any vegetarian or pescatarian. But Mario, the boss, assured us that, if pre-warned, Los Fuegos can prepare dishes especially for you.

Both meats were full in flavour, tender and soft, and, I can honestly say, some of the best beef I have ever tasted. The more mature of the two steaks definitely had a deeper, richer, sublime flavour.

After this carnivorous feast, there was no way we partake of one of their home-made confectioneries. But they did look lovely on the table next to us.

Restaurant Los Fuegos specialises in all aged meats, cooked with wood, Argentine, Spanish and some international dishes. It also has daily specials and an exceptional Executive Menu during the week for just 9.90 euros. To make a reservation or for more information on any of the above, you will find Los Fuegos in San Marino lcl 10, Los Cristianos, or call them on 922 751 860 from 1pm to 12.30am, Tuesday to Sunday.

CW 42

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Lifestyle

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Step back in time…

No smoke... without fear?

By Carl Pattison

By Val Sainsbury

YOU’VE had months of sun on it, you’ve been swimming and you’ve tortured it with heat. So, now the summer’s closing in, what you going to do about that dry hair?

PUFFING away on electronic cigarettes could be as bad for the heart as smoking tobacco, despite all the positive advertising about these socalled, no-harm, wonder fags.

As with all dry conditions, your hair needs moisture, and to be drenched in products that will rectify the problem.

Start by checking over your shampoo and conditioner. Do they claim to repair and moisturise? If your hair is coloured, then using a “coloured” hair shampoo often isn’t enough.

Your hair needs something more intense.

Adding a moisturising treatment on your next salon visit is a surefire way to correct the months of harsh treatment it may have been through.

Our in-salon treatment “OLAPLEX” is still proving to be a big hit with clients.

This will reverse much of the damage caused by years of abuse to the hair.

If it has reached a point of no return, don’t forget that a change of style - or simply a good cut - will remove the offending hair.

It stands to reason that you must replace

what has been taken out. If you don’t, your hair WILL suffer now, and in the future.

Easy ways to check if it needs some extra care are split-ends, having to tug at the hair while combing/brushing, static or frizziness - and lack of shine.

Ask your stylist for his or her opinion, and take your hair back in time to when it really was your best feature.

Disco chic!

By Carl Pattison

FORGET your vision of what you remember of the Seventies’ flared trousers, because the “new” flare is back. This time, it’s a slimmeddown, chic version of what went before.

Don’t even think about anything wafting around your ankle.

These flares are extremely tapered, and kick out slightly at the bottom, giving a elegant silhouette to most figures.

The flare, now worn with an elegant heel and not a chunky wedge, can be seen in an ankle-length, or cropped version.

If you choose to take this look on, denim wears it best because it embraces the whole

retro Seventies’ feel, yet it still looks 2016.

Also looking good, in

the new shape, are material flares, but please stay away from printed - or floral - patterns.

We want to see chic not cheap. If denim is your choice, then opt for the dark-to-medium variety, because the stone-washed ones are too Eighties to combine with this retro fashion.

Rip them up and scuff them out. Keep them smart, but go get yourself a pair as they WILL be hottest trouser trend - this year and next!

Flares can be dressed down with your “T”s, or dressed up with your favourite goingout top.

Just make sure you wear them with the right heels. It is over 20 years since the flare was popular - back in the late Nineties - so embrace the Seventies vibe again, and search out your flared chic.

Scientists have discovered that inhaling nicotine-vapour damages key blood vessels and thus, raises the risk of heart disease.

A study team monitored participants’ hearts while they smoked a conventional cigarette for five minutes and used an e-cigarette for half-an-hour.

This, they said, was the most accurate comparison of typical use.

They found that the two activities led to similar levels of stiffness in the aorta - the main artery - which is a major cause of heart problems. Both also

raised blood pressure.

The Greek scientists stressed that this revealed short-term damage only, and that more research was needed into long-term effects.

But they did say their trial of 24 healthy men and women, with an average age of 30, shows that e-cigarettes are “far more dangerous than people realise”.

Their concerns were echoed this week by the British Heart Foundation, which said the devices “could not be assumed to be risk-free”.

And the BHF charity called for more research into the safety of longterm use.

The results, presented at the European Society of Cardiology congress in Rome, will fuel the fiery debate about e-cigarettes.

Most experts agree they are not so harmful as smoking tobacco, but some are concerned that they still pose a health risk.

The World Health Organisation also warns that they might also be toxic to bystanders.

But Public Health

England last year encouraged smokers to switch to e-cigarettes, saying they were “95% safe”.

The claim was widely criticised when it emerged that it came from scientists funded by the e-cigarette industry.

Study leader Professor Charalambos Vlachopoulos, from the University of Athens Medical School, said the UK had “rushed into” its promotion of e-cigarettes, adding: “E-cigarettes are less harmful, but they are not harmless.

I wouldn’t recommend them now as a method to give up smoking.”

The devices, which contain liquid nicotine heated into a vapour and inhaled, avoid the harm caused by tobacco smoke.

Professor Vlachopoulos, who said nicotine was the most likely cause of damage to arteries, is planning another trial using e-cigarettes without nicotine.

And Public Health England has continued to back the devices, a spokesman saying: “Vaping carries a fraction of the risk of smoking, yet many smokers are still not aware.”

Deborah Arnott, of campaign group ASH (Action on Smoking and Health), said the study showed that if vaping were limited to five minutes, too, it would cause much less damage than tobacco.

The e-cigarette industry’s trade body also played down the research, claiming aortic stiffness was “transitory” and a “very poor measure” of long-term risk.

www.canarianweekly.com

Community News

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Live Arico news

Such a dreadful tale LOOK at these three badly-neglected souls, Mary, Mungo and Midge - a male pug and two female pug Chihuahua crosses, possibly used for breeding purposes.

They were dumped cruelly in Parque de la Reina this week. Neglect is a form of abuse and it will cost us at Live Arico a lot of money to get them back to good health. But we will do it with your help.

If you can offer any of these poor creatures a home, please get in touch with Sue on 629 388 102, or even if you can just foster for the time being, it will be a help.

Donations can be made at any of our charity shops or via paypal to livearico@gmail.com See you at Dylans We’re at Dylans bar on the Mirador Strip, Los Cristianos, tomorrow (Saturday) for an afternoon of fun and quality entertainment.

Come along and help us to help dogs like Mary, Mungo and Midge.

Acts include Suzy q, Shiel Campbell, Lee St Lawrence, Zoe Leigh, Scott Bateman, MJ

Grant, Scotty T, Typsy Kings, Bryan o Neal, Rebecca Forrest and Simon Roberts. All hosted by Derrick Lynes.

Get involved!

Gillian Banks’ Showstoppers For one night only, this amazing Las Vegas-style show, performed by the talented students from Gillian Banks Theatre School in South Yorkshire, returns to Tenerife.

Tickets are already on sale for the one-off show, on Monday, 24th October, at the Auditorium Infanta Leonor in Los Cristianos, so you can get in early.

Speak to anyone who has already seen these youngsters perform, and they will tell you it is second-to-none. And all for just 10 euros.

And all proceeds will be shared among local charities Live Arico PAWS; Helping Hands and The Friends of Gillian Banks Guaidyl Children’s Day Centre Fund.

Get your tickets now from Los Cristianos Cultural Centre, weekdays from 9am to 2pm, or online at www.arona. org Whatever you do, don’t miss this one.

Our Charity Shops There are plenty of bargains for all, so have a good root around at

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Youngsters wanted to lift Scout Group THE 1st Tenerife Scout Group start back on 13th September, but with Beavers moving up to the Cub section, and Cubs gradating to the Scouts, founder and overall leader Steve Leisel is on a recruitment drive for more youngsters.

“Our Beavers (aged 6-8), have lost some kids, as have the Cubs (8-10½) ” said Steve.

“The Scouts (10½14yrs), are building nicely, but we are hoping to fill in the gaps below them.”

And it’s not just about

boys because the girls play their part as well - yet many people are unaware that Scouting embraces both genders.

Steve added: “I must point out that girls have been allowed to join the Scouting Association for many years.

“The number of people who have approached us and said they never realised that girls can

any of our three shops: *San Eugenio, opposite Hotel La Nina, at las Carabelas near Amandas Bar. Open MondaySaturday (10am-4pm) *Los Cristianos, Calle Revron, near Thistle and Dragon Bar and playpark. Open daily (10am-4pm) *Golf del Sur, Golf

Park, just before the lottery kiosk. Open Monday-Friday (10amto 6pm), Saturday (10am-4pm), Sunday (10.30am-3.30pm) Save them for us!

Don’t throw things away! Call 629 388 102 and we’ll sell your unwanted items to help the dogs.

join is unbelievable.

And I’m told that the girls in our group have loved every minute.

“Leisel is the Akela (Cubs’ leader) with the assistance of another leader, Jacky, and the Cub section celebrates its centenary this year).

And a new leader, Ollie, has joined the Group to help Megan Rose run the Beaver section.

The Scout Group,

who teach life skills to the youngsters, have been camping this year, 14 boys and girls enjoying life at the Las Lajas campsite. Knotting, pioneering, cooking and compass-reading are just a few of their activities.

But Steve and his helpers, keen to introduce more outdoor activities such as rockclimbing, archery and canoeing, have not been able to find suitable instructors.

So if there is anyone out there who could help, please contact the Scout Group on 922 729 733 or 664 555 785.

Steve is also planning a recruitment campaign on Facebook and the Tenerife sites in an effort to boost the Beavers, as well as the other sections if possible.

Simon Tatlock

20.05.1971 – 24.08.2016

Accion del Sol news

Carlito has cracked it!

THIS happy puppy, who has been named Carlito after being dumped on the streets and taken to the refuge, was spotted by a visiting holidaymaker who fell in love with him.

Carlito is just a couple of months old, so he’s not old enough to fly yet. But he’ll be winging his way to Germany and his new home in a few months.

He’s a lucky boy to be fostered by a regular Accion supporter, who, with her other two dogs, will be kept extremely busy with this little bundle of cuteness.

We are always seeking foster parents, so please

call or visit us if you think you may be able to help.

Keep them cool Please remember to keep your pets safe in these high summer temperatures by ensuring they have plenty of shade, cold water - a frozen ice block used in cool boxes in bucket of water is a great help - or add a

handful of ice-cubes.

Also, do not walk your dogs on the hot pavements, and, most definitely, avoid leaving them in a hot car. Even with the windows open, the car and your dog can quickly overheat.

Who’s for walkies?

We are always looking for dog-walkers, and, if you have a little spare time, please pop along

to the refuge and make a dog or two very happy.

Your help needed Please call the refuge on 922 778 630 if you can lend a hand in any way. We always need blankets, towels, sheets, dog toys, collars and leads. You can call in on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons, from 2-5pm, and Saturdays between 1-4pm.

Find us here Accion del Sol is situated directly under the Ecological Park (exit 52) on the northbound TF-1. Head for the giant windmills, and you’ll find us in the buildings on the righthand side.

Email the refuge at teneriffa@aktiontier.org or, for further details, visit our Facebook page: action tier Accion del SOL.

Some people touch our lives in such a way that we can’t explain.

Is it really important what we do for a living? What possessions we have? What clothes we wear?

Is it not more important that we can make an impact on someone’s life that will never be forgotten?

Simon did just that.

Whether he was painting walls, pulling pints or working the doors, he always did it with a grin and a laugh. Loads of laughter!

With a smart and cheeky reply to any comment you could throw at him, he brightened up your day and made you forget about your problems for a while.

Whether fishing, camping or just a couple of pints in your local, it will never be quite as bright as it used to be.

Honest to say, everyone that knew him will miss him.

Can we say that about ourselves?

Rest in peace dear friend… until we meet again

CW 44

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Puzzle Page

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Quick quiz CW Crossword What number should be in the circle with the question mark?

Godoku!

This week’s letters: A D E F G I L O S This week’s mystery clue: This is the title of an October 2010 stand-alone thriller by Gerald Hammond (9 letters).

D

F

F

S

I G

O

L S

E

D L

I F

A E

F

D

A

S F D Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

2 8 3

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

Beginner Starter Number

5

1

÷5

2

3

+77

4/5

of this

6

7

9

-91

8

squared

40

4 1 3 5 8 6

-77

5

4

-51

x6

x2

4 6 7 3 1 4 9 5 6

8 9

7

84

5 4

8

2

÷4 +124

6

7

+39

2/3

8

of this

-59

3

20%

of this

4

Starter Number

-23

x14

Answer

9

Last Issue's Answers:

CW Crossword

DOWN. 1 TRIES HARD, 2 CLEAR, 3 INSECURE, 5 LEGO, 6 VALIANT, 7 ROC, 8 RAGED, 13 UNDRESSES, 14 GETS WELL, 16 SHUFFLE, 18 URBAN, 21 APRON, 22 WEED, 23 TNT.

78

1

2

3

squared

-278

6

7

8

9

of this

+252 ÷3

5

4

x7

-117

-157 Answer

6 4 7 8

Top ______________________

ACROSS. 1 TUCK IN, 4 PLOVER, 9 IDEAS, 10 ANGELIC, 11 STRICKEN, 12 BAKU, 15 ABSURD, 17 RENTED, 19 DRUG, 20 BRISBANE, 23 TAFFETA, 24 EARNS, 25 TRENDY, 26 FLANKS.

x6

3/13

of this

Can you name the three famous faces in this picture?

5

Advanced

80%

And 2 normal sudokus for you as well...

1

Face Mix

Bottom ______________________

Intermediate Starter Number

by Trevor Kirton

Middle ______________________

Answer

8 4 7 1

ACROSS 1 Upholstered pad (7) 5 Tribes (5) 8 Subject (5) 9 Indicator, arrow (7) 10 Mature Red deer (4) 11 Scorned (8) 14 Call in , visit (4,2) 15 Winning cards? (6) 17 Joint writer (2-6) 18 Timber (4) 21 Set free (7) 23 Swindler (5) 24 Friendly (5) 25 More sugary (7) DOWN 1 Ensnare (5) 2 Exploding star (9) 3 Something to scratch?

(4) 4 Young child (6) 5 Fast Sailing vessels (8) 6 Stern (boat) (3) 7 Long paces (7) 12 Sleepy (9) 13 Death notice (8) 14 Decency, propriety (7) 16 Electors (6) 19 Put off (5) 20 Teenage spots (4) 22 Allow; or Lease (3)

F G O

47 CW

3 2 7

2

9 1 2

4 6 3 2

6 3 1 7

7 9 2

Quick Quiz: 6 - Explanation: Looking at the diagram in rows, the central circle equals half the sum of the numbers in the other circles to the left and right of the centre.

Brain Training: Beginner: 3 Intermediate: 6 Advanced: 259 Godoku:

Face Mix: Jamie Oliver Dermot O’Leary David Beckham Sudoku X:

4 1 7 2 5 8 9 3 6

1

8 6 3 4 1 9 7 2 5

2 9 5 6 3 7 8 4 1

3 4

4 1 7 9

9 4 8 4 1 6 6 3 5

2 5 5 6 3

1 8 2 6 1 8 5 5 9 2

6 8 4 3 9 1 5 7 2

9 5 2 8 7 6 4 1 3

7 3 1 5 4 2 6 9 8

5 2 9 7 8 3 1 6 4

1 4 6 9 2 5 3 8 7

3 7 8 1 6 4 2 5 9

Sudoku:

3 7 6 1 4 2 8 9 5

2 4 3 7 9 5 8 1 6

2 1 4 8 5 9 7 6 3

1 9 5 6 2 8 3 7 4

8 5 9 6 3 7 1 4 2

7 6 8 1 4 3 2 5 9

7 6 2 3 8 4 9 5 1

5 1 6 8 3 4 9 2 7

4 8 5 7 9 1 3 2 6

3 8 7 2 6 9 5 4 1

9 3 1 2 6 5 4 7 8

9 2 4 5 7 1 6 3 8

5 2 7 9 1 8 6 3 4

4 7 2 3 8 6 1 9 5

6 9 8 4 2 3 5 1 7

6 5 9 4 1 2 7 8 3

1 4 3 5 7 6 2 8 9

8 3 1 9 5 7 4 6 2

CW 48

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Information

2nd September - 8th September 2016

How to Advertise: Page 48

PHONE 902 232 102 / FAX 902 232 102 / Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Or just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (above Juno, next to Bar Acuario). Upto 500 euros.

Page 49

Page 49 Lineage 0.50c per word FREE: 1 telephone number Basic box advert Classic box advert

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

20 euros per week (30 words maximum) double size box

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

25 euros per week (30 words maximum) Classic DBLE box

Advertise Advertise your your property property or or classified classified advert here. advert here.

40 euros 35 euros per week per week (60 words (60 words maximum) maximum)

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco.gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112 National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06

Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Lineage 35 euros for 4 weeks 1 module box advert

Advertise your service advert here. 80 euros for 4 weeks* advertising (20 euros per week)

Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11

Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 761 201 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802

Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037 TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

Wilson FG Tour control-lob wedge, 60 degrees, unwanted prize, still in wrapper, 35 euros. Tel: 922 794 495

Discounts available for more than one edition.

N.B. there is a 50% premium for a property/Business for sale classified adverts.

Page 49

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care.

Green - Safe to swim

Kuro lady’s white bike with child seat, helmet, dynamo lights and Shimano gears, as new, 125 euros. Tel: 603 288 253 Child’s complete bunk-bed unit: 2 beds (bottom one shaped like train), no mattresses, 2 cupboards with shelves and drawers, 300 euros. Must collect, from Valle San Lorenzo. Tel: 697 232 123

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Please ask us for prices for larger size adverts.

All property, classified and service point have to be paid for in cash at our officces in Las Chafiras. *Service point adverts have to be in for a minimum of 4 weeks.

Deadline: Tuesday 4pm

Large, leather, motorbike jacket, trousers & waistcoat, 150 euros. Nike trainers, brandnew, size 4, 20 euros. Tel: 676 051 341

CarS Vauxhall Astra, 750 euros including transfer of paperwork. No ITV. Tel: 659 930 516

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Classified

2nd September - 8th September 2016

49 CW

Cars (cont.)

Air-Conditioning

Property for Sale

C1722. SAN ISIDRO. Fully furnished, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (1 en suite) apt, fully equipped kitchen, two balconies, roof terrace.

76.000 Euros

B1595. PLAYA HONDA, LAS AMERICAS. Newly refurbished apt with all brand new.

Third floor.

142.000 Euros

B1588. HOLIDAY VALLEY, SAN EUGENIO ALTO.

Completely refurbished 1 bed apt on the top part of Res Holiday Valley above Aqua Park Communal pool.

135.000Euros

D1584.

LOS GIRASOLES, EL MADROÑAL. 4 Bedroom townhouse with 160m2 construction on a plot of 289m2.

379.000 Euros

www.thepropertygallery.com Property for renT

Rentals: 922 797 438 Sales: 922 751 072 Mobile: 693 713 686

www.tenerifeislandrentals.com

AVAILABLE FROM OCT 2016 TO MAR 2017

Jobs Telemarketing Office in Fañabe. We are looking for more Telemarketers You will need to be highly motivated, persistent, persuasive, quick-thinking and computer literate. No experience necessary as training given. In return we are offering a professional working environment with friendly approachable management . Basic salary, high commissions, loyalty bonus and holiday pay. This is a position where hard work is appreciated and rewarded. Working hours 30 per week. Call 605 236 286 or 822 143 931 to arrange an interview Legal Secretary required for Las Americas based Asesoria. Direct contact with client, prep of mod 600, 650, 211, 210 Preparation of notary deeds, contracts in Spanish and English, dealing with all aspects of registries, tax offices, utility companies along with organisation of the daily diary and emails of the office. Must be flexible, bilingual, proven experience in similar post, able to work well under pressure and meet deadlines. Send cv to legales@vercelloneyasociados.com Administration person required. A well organized individual, team player, willing to work Saturdays plus 4 more days (maybe five). Fluent English, both written and spoken, with a good telephone manner and willingness to learn. Driving license essential, easy parking, great basic salary for the appropriate applicant, plus bonuses! Busy office environment. Apply in absolute confidence to Rach on (0034) 922 758 425 or EMAIL CV to: admin@sloncemarketing.com Venli requires a Car mechanic and spray painter for their workshop. Please send your CV to workshop@venli.com or call Jo on 618 776 167

Roque Del Conde - 1295€

Aguilas del Teide - 1175€

3 bed 2 bath Villa with fantastic outside space, stunning views, private pool, large family lounge, double size bedroom, en suite bathroom to master bedroom with terrace and has enclosed garage.

2 bed 2 bath Villa with private pool, large family lounge area, open plan fully fitted kitchen, double size bedrooms, master bedroom has en suite bathroom with walk in wardrobe and large basement.

ed Urgently Requir areas

properties for all

Puerto Santiago - 550€

Parque De La Reina - 550€

Ground floor 1 bed beach front apartment with large terrace, stunning sea views, double size bedroom, fully fitted kitchen and has a pool on complex.

Ground floor 2 bed apartment with independent fully fitted kitchen, double size bedrooms, 2 x garage parking spaces and has a pool on complex.

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Blinds

CW 50

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Service Point

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Construction (cont.)

Cars

Jewellery

Private collector seeks gold jewellery in any condition, broken or unwanted.

Top prices paid. Offering a private, discreet and courteous service.

Tel: 627 124 634

Kitchens & bathrooms

Long term car rental (1 x week) from 200 euro per month. We pick up full insurance and breakdown. Please telephone 642 756 473 for fast polite service

Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.

Electrician

Lawyers

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist.

All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA. Home/Hotel visits from Los Gigantes to El Medano. Tel: 608 029 790.

Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com

Fly Screens Cleaning Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Mechanics

Furniture Computers

Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail:

Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

New Hotel Quality Mattresses, Bed Bases, Sheets & Pillows for sale at discount prices. All sizes, same day delivery. Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras.

Tel: 609 303 634 or whatsapp Garden Furniture

Construction

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 www.yogavibetenerife.com

Home removal

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Service Point

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Patio Doors & Windows

Plumbing (cont.)

51 CW

security (cont.)

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Call Roly: 680 278 579 or Tom: 642 771 035

Pool tables

Tiling

Property services Translation TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more. Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

Travel agents Removals

UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

repairs

Personal ServiceS

English model, showgirl, professional striptease, quality service, general entertainment, stag nights, dominatrix, fetish, luxury conditions, visits 24 hours, escort service available. Tel: 697 227 139.

Pest control

Second-hand Shops

House, Apartment and Villa Clearances.

I will make you an offer to buy all your furniture and home contents. Immediate decisions. Same day cash payments.

Phone Freddie on 609 303 634 or whatsapp

Plumbing

ElectroSat TV S.L. C/Encarnacion No 1. Valle San Lorenzo, Tenerife. Tel: 922 72 22 27 Mobile 670 277 772, email: info@electrosat.com Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Windows and doors

Los Cristianos, Novelty Kelly sexy, hot, Erotic Massage. Speaks English. Tel: 604 165 759.

Los Cristianos, Melissa, Blonde, Venezuela. Large breasts, without limits. Calle Noruega near the Supermarket Altavista. Tel: 639 12 16 99.

TV and Satellite

security

CW 52

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Cecilia is breaking Palms hearts!

WE are now seven games into the new season of the Direct Telecom Pool League and, in Division One, everybody is chasing champions Gaffers A. And on Tuesday, it looked as though they would drop points.

They were at Dreamers A, who are a tough team to beat and do not give frames up easily. And over the first two sessions there was nothing between the teams, with the score at 4-4.

Dreamers really fancied their chances of taking at least a point, if not a win, But Gaffers A always seem to find an extra gear, and so it proved again as they rattled off the final four frames for another win.

The score flattered them, and credit should be given to Dreamers A, who put up a fine fight.

It has been a long time coming, but Rewind A finally have points on the board, taking them against a strong Palms Elite team.

Everything seemed to click for the home team as they won the first four frames, inspired by French duo Michel and Cecilia.

She is really showing her talent, with a winning record this season.

Palms Elite hit back, though, in the next session and Rewind A carried only a 5-3 lead into the final session.

But Mick beat Graeme to steady the nerves as Rewind A were guaranteed a point, they lost the next two and it came

down to Cecilia against Shi. Could she get a win for the three points? The answer was Oui! It was a great performance and one that had been coming. It was a weight off for John and his boys (and girl), and the only way is up only now! C’est Magnifique!

Phoenix Potters are still the closest team to the leaders, adding to their points tally against Terrace Bantams, which also saw the team contesting the Werther’s Cup. The early games were close, and, with the score poised at 4-3 to the home team, it was Elvis Dave against Bantams’ captain Adi. Both were down to the black, and Dave was at the table. He missed his pot by a country mile, but the black ball shot round the table, bounced off four cushions and dropped in the middle bag. He then went and put his Lottery numbers on!

Bantams fought back to 5-4, and Mal thought he was going to level the score after Potters’ Geoff missed his black. But the white ended up behind the black, snookering Mal in another massive stroke of luck for the home side.

At 6-4, Gary beat Pete for the points and the cup, but karma did come in the last game as Dave potted the black too early. But it was too little, too late for the Bantams because, Potters had Lady Luck with them!

Tenerife Hammers

division 1 ResultS Dreamers A Exiles A Phoenix Potters Rewind A Tenerife Hammers A Terrace Roosters Treehouse A

4-8 8-4 7-5 7-5 9-3 8-4 6-6

Gaffers A Rewind Rewired Terrace Bantams Palms Elite Gaffers B Bluebell A Palms Bar A

division 1 Table

division 2 ResultS Bluebell B James Hammers C Palms Rebels Splash Bar The Crown

6-6 8-4 7-5 4-8 7-5

Exiles B Treehouse B Hoppys A Picasso’s A Yates Bar

division 2 Table Table

P

W D

L

F

A

+- PTS

1 Picasso’s A

7

5

1

1

58

26

32 16

Table

P W D L F

A +- PTS

2 James Hammers C

7

4

1

2

45

39

6 13

1 Gaffers A

7

6

1

0

57

27

30

19

3 Bluebell B

6

3

3

0

40

32

8 12

2 Phoenix Potters

7

5

0

2

49

35

14

15

4 Yates Bar

7 3 2 2 46 38 8 11

3 Tenerife Hammers A

7

3

3

1

51

33

18

12

5 The Crown

5 3 0 2 33 27 6 9

4 Treehouse A

6 3 2 1 44 28 16 11

6 Splash Bar

6

2

1

3

33

39

-6

5 Rewind Rewired

7

3

2

2

42

42

0

11

7 Palms Rebels

7

2

1

4

36

48

-12 7

6 Palms Bar A

6

3

2

1

35

37

-2

11

8 Hoppys A

5

2

0

3

29

31

-2

7 Exiles A

7

3

1

3

41

43

-2

10

9 Exiles B

7

1

2

4

31

53

-22 5

8 Dreamers A

7

3

1

3

39

45

-6

10

10 Treehouse B

7 1 1 5 33 51 -18 4

9 Terrace Roosters

7

2

1

4

35

49

-14

7

10 Palms Elite

5

2

0

3

30

30

0

6

11 Terrace Bantams

6

2

0

4

34

38

-4

6

12 Gaffers B

7

1

2

4

37

47 -10

5

13 Rewind A

6

1

0

5

27

45 -18

3

14 Bluebell A

5

0

1

4

19

41 -22

1

A are third, and still chasing as they got back to winning ways against Gaffers B, who last week took a point off Gaffers A. Hammers needed a good performance because the away team have some good players, and that is exactly what they got with some solid pool. But the gap is seven points - and that could take some bridging.

Rewind Rewired, who have made a good start to life in the top division, travelled to Silencio in a confident mood to face Exiles A. However, I have said time and again that it is a difficult place to get a result, and so it proved again. The home team settled into an early rhythm and got their noses in front. Try as they may, Rewind Rewired couldn’t get into the game, and the points went to Exiles.

Another team grateful for points were Terrace Roosters who had a home game against a Bluebell A side visiting Amarilla Golf for a second week.

But the away team were hoping it would be a different result this time, especially as the Roosters were missing captain Fin and Dan. However, stand-in captain Greer got his team selection right, even using a great wild-card, and the Roosters pulled off a good win to give them confidence going forward.

Treehouse A and Palms A locked horns in Chayofa, and, from the start, there was nothing between the two sides.

It was cat-and-mouse all night as both sides took the chances on offer. At one stage Palms were 5-2 then 6-3 up, but the hosts scrambled their way to six frames to earn a fair point.

Division Two is shaping up to be a real fight for the title this season with at least five teams in the hunt.

Picasso’s A, still leading the way, this week renewed old rivalries as they travelled to Splash Bar. These teams know each other well, but the away team started stronger, taking three of the first four frames,

and repeated this in the second session to lead 6-2.

Andy then beat Mack to get one back for Splash Bar, but Stevie won his second frame, beating Clive to take all three points for Picasso’s A. After a slow start, James Hammers C, who came down from Division One, have moved up the table into second spot. They hosted Treehouse B and put in another good performance. In these leagues, you have to take early frames because the standard of pool is good.

But if you are chasing, getting a result is difficult.

The home side did just that and, once they had their noses in front, there was no looking back. Treehouse B took some frames and played well, but they just didn’t have enough in the tank.

Bluebell B should be closer to Picasso’s A, but they dropped points against Exiles B. Bluebell started slowly and allowed the visitors to take a 5-1 lead at the halfway point.

But after a quick peptalk from Lesley, they took the next three to get back into the game.

Craig beat Nathan to put Bluebell within a frame, but with Mal then losing to Callum,

7 6

Exiles B had a point and sensed a win.

It wasn’t to be, though, because Grant and Simmy won to grab a point for the home side.

Yates Bar, who have started well, faced a tricky away trip at The Crown, and they made the worse possible start as they went 4-0 down.

They rallied well and took the next three, only for Allan to beat Enrico to keep The Crown 5-3 ahead.

Yates Bar knew what they needed to do to get something from this game, but it didn’t go to plan as Allan returned to the table to beat Lee, followed by John’s defeat of Terry. It was game over and The Crown were victorious.

Palms Rebels were at home against Hoppy’s and knew that a win would move them above their opponents. Yet it was the away team who made the better start as they took the first three frames.

But Hoppy’s then collapsed in spectacular fashion as the Rebels roared back, taking seven on the bounce to secure the three points.

Jason and Debbie won the last two frames for Hoppy’s to give the match a more respectable scoreline, but the damage had been done.

www.canarianweekly.com

53 CW

Sport

2nd September - 8th September 2016

OasisFm Darts League

Yogi earns his Spurs!

By Geoff Huxtable WE love a nickname here in the Oasis Fm Darts League, and there has been some real crackers over the years. Now we have a new name to remember after Gaffers’ “Yogi” hit his first maximum during a tough match with Scruffy Macs.

The visitors, with Jamie firing in his first 180, led 4-1 after the singles and looked set to claim victory - and maybe go top of the table.

But an excellent fightback by Neil’s Gaffers enabled them to win both doubles games and the trebles to tie things up at four apiece. Smarter than

the average bear!

So, could Pas O Nadas take advantage and open up a bit of a gap? The answer was a firm No! In fact, they almost lost at Spear Chuckers, having held on to the last rubber to finish at 4-4 as well. Richard notched up his 10th and 11th maximums, while Chuckers’ Rob hit his second.

Just slightly down the league table, the three chasing teams all enjoyed hefty victories. Both Sandys’ teams suffered whitewashes at the hands of Boothen and Phoenix respectively, while Palms Sports Bar put six past Exiles.

All of which leaves the top six teams separated by just eight points as we near the halfway stage … it’s as tight as Arsene Wenger’s wallet!

division 1 ResultS

division 2 ResultS

Boothen 8-0 Gaffers 4-4 Ourplace Playboys 2-6 Palms Sports Bar 6-2 Sandys International 0-8 Spear Chuckers 4-4

Sandys Reborn Scruffy Macs The Pub Exiles Phoenix Bar Pas O Nadas A

division 1 Table Table

P W D L F A +- PTS

1 Pas O Nadas A

13 7

5 1 66 38 28

66

2 Scruffy Macs

13 7

5

1 65 39 26

65

3 Gaffers

13 8

2

3 64 40 24

64

4 The Pub

13 9

1

3

63 41 22

63

5 Boothen

13 7

1

5 61 43 18

61

6 Phoenix Bar

12 7

2

3 58 38

20

58

7 Spearchuckers

13 6

3

4 55 49

6

55

5

2

5 48 48

0

48

12 3

2

7 39 57 -18

39

0

2

7

22 50 -28

22

11 0

2

9 21 67 -46

21

0 10 15 65 -50

15

8 Palms Sports Bar 12 9 Exiles

10 Ourplace Playboys 9 11 Sandys Reborn

12 Sandys International 10 0

And things are just as close towards the top of Division 2, where we saw the lead change hands for

the umpteenth time.

The Tavern go back to the summit after a 7-1 thumping of Marilyns A, while Picassos put six into Emerald Lounge last week and went one better this week to garner a fine seven-point haul.

It lifted them above last week’s leaders, Sundowners, who could only draw with Clouseaus.

Rood, going along almost unnoticed in fourth spot, claimed the final point for a

Bar Leones Marilyns B Palms Pool Bar Pas O Nadas B Picassos Rood Sundowners Bar The Tavern

B-B 6-2 7-1 4-4 7-1 5-3 4-4 7-1

BYE Legends Naughty Nautas Waterfall B Emerald Lounge Nauta Nomads Clouseaus Marilyns A

division 2 Table Table

P W D L F A +- PTS

1 The Tavern

12

9

1

2 60 36 24

60

2 Picassos

12

7

2

3 60 36 24

60

3 Sundowners Bar 13 5

5

3 58 46 12

58

4 Rood

13 5

5

3 58 46 12

58

5 Emerald Lounge

11 7

1

3 53 35 18

53

6 Marilyns B

13

5

4

4 53 51

2

53

7 Bar 180

10 6

3

1 48 32 16

48

8 Waterfall B

11 3

5

3 44 44

0

44

9 Clouseaus

11 4

2

5 43 45 -2

43

10 Bar Leones

11 3

4

4 43 45 -2

43

11 Legends

11 1

5

5 37 51 -14

37

12 Pas O Nadas B

10 3

2

5 36 44 -8

36

13 Palms Pool Bar

7

5

2

0 35 21 14

35

14 Nauta Nomads

11 0

4

7 34 54 -20

34

4

4 31 41 -10

31

15 Naughty Nautas 9 16 Marilyns A

1

11 3

17 Ourplace Playgirls 9

0

close win over Nauta Nomads, while Marilyns B enjoyed a solid 6-2 success at home against Legends.

A close game developed at Pas O Nadas B as visiting Waterfall just fell at the fi-

1

7 30 58 -28

30

1

8 18 54 -36

18

nal hurdle, losing the trebles leg to tie the match.

But Palms Pool Bar had too much for Naughty Nautas, sending them packing with just a single point.

Oasis Fm Fantasy Football League

Hazzard sounds warning IT’S still early doors in the Premier League, but injuries and suspensions are already starting to frustrate managers. And the same applies to our Fantasy League, especially if you are not checking your team regularly.

Don’t forget, you can make free transfers every week, so make sure your team are fresh.

There were a couple of stand-out results last weekend, but, from a player point of view, it was an even spread.

Chelsea led the way for the point-scoring team of the week with two players. The rest came from Stoke, Crystal Palace, Man Utd, Middlesbrough, West

Brom, Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool and Sunderland.

Alexis Sanchez was the player of the week with a decent return of 16 points.

After taking last week’s team of the week title, Lesley Bradley’s Simply the

Best put in another decent performance to climb to the top of the Oasis Fm Fantasy League.

Over three gameweeks they have scored 180 points, which is an impressive average of 60 points a week.

This week’s team of

the week award was shared by Jo Green’s Earlybirds and Zammit’s Mugs, managed

by John Zammit, with both teams taking 63 points - a good total in a low-scoring week.

The Earlybird’s were helped by their defenders, who scored well,

and captain Eden Hazard’s 22 points, Zammit’s Mugs were average across the board, but they also had Hazard as captain, with John choosing to play his Triple Captain power-up.

That meant Hazard

contributed 33 points to his total. This week is international week so we have no games.

But do make sure you check your team before the next game-week because players might pick up knocks on international duty.

Fantasy Football League

1. Simply the best

Lesley Bradley

38

180

2. Untouchables

David Retberg

49

179

3. Steph’s stars

Stephanie Draper

56

178

4. PJ Spainish 11

Paul Jones

51

177

5. The Arab Straps

Thomas Smith

48

176

6. The Slash Axl Duffs Jay Merrick

32

175

7. OUT 4 LUNCH

Paul Plowman

61

173

8. BASSAS BOYS

Barry Cooper

44

172

9. Gingers XI

David Delaney

51

172

10. DEVIL’S 11

Akhil Makwana

45

171

CW 54

www.canarianweekly.com

Sport

2nd September - 8th September 2016

Three in as Nano leaves CD Tenerife 1 Sevilla B 1

By Roscoe THE transfer window has closed, and Tenerife fans will breathe a sigh of relief. As I wrote in this column last week, it would be a decent summer if CDT kept hold of all their hot, young talent.

Alas, the lure of La Liga football proved to strong for young Nano, who has left for a 3.5million-euro fee.

His new club, Eibar, are the minnow’s minnow. They barely attract over 3,000 fans, yet they are now in their third straight season in the Spanish topflight.

Good luck to them.

But the fact that they are buying our talent and are, I guess, perceived as being a “bigger club”, sticks in the craw of all Tenerife fans.

That said, once a player has his head turned, you might as well let them go. Nano turned down Deportivo la Coruna and Southampton to join Eibar.

I’d say that’s a strange move.

His departure left a few holes and Tenerife brought in three players this week – and, on paper, they can all do a job.

Aaron Niguez has

played for Spain at every age level, from Under-16s to 21s.

He lost his way last season at Braga, but has been excellent for Almeria and Elche in recent years. Amathe N’Diaye is a wellthought-of young pup.

He has pace, and that is something the fans will welcome in a team who are a little tortoise at times. And then there is the most leftfield signing I can remember in years.

Haythem Jouni is a tall player with a decent record in Tunisian football. He was part of the Espérance Sportive de Tunis side who won the league in 2014 and the cup last season.

He is certainly something different and could be anything.

Physically he is like Aridane.

They all trained today (Thursday) ahead of this weekend’s match with Elche, which sees Tenerife facing legendary striker Nino.

It’s a big game already for Tenerife, who are showing worrying signs of a side who will have another one of those trademark slow starts.

As I also warned last week, CDT have a tough start and they followed up the defeat at Cordoba with a sluggish draw at home to Sevilla B, who will surprise a few this season.

The visitors, who were lively early on, took the lead after 19 minutes through Antonio Cotan. He has made a few

first-team appearances and is a smooth passer of a ball.

Cotan doesn’t score many, but he couldn’t miss after a moment of madness from Jorge.

The young centreback hasn’t been the same player since picking up an injury a year ago.

He was dispossessed carelessly by Cotan, who knocked the ball past Dani comfortably for the opener. A few minutes later, Sevilla’s Ivi Lopez left his foot in on Raul Camara stupidly, after a 50-50 challenge, and the referee Oliver Fuente had no choice

but to sent him off.

This should have been the start of a cavalry charge from Tenerife.

But it never happened.

Choco Lozano’s second-half goal spared the blushes, but it was nowhere near good enough.

Teams take time to gel, as all fans know, but there is no getting away from how limp Tenerife looked.

There will be a few changes for the Elche match, and, maybe, this will bring a bit more bite to the team.

Upcoming Fixtures Sat 3rd September Elche v CDT Tues 6th September Lugo v CDT (Cup) Sat 10th September CDT v Valladoild Sun 18th September Almeria v CDT

Transfers INs Alex Garcia – Mirandes Marc Crosas – Cruz Azul Ismael Falcon – Cordoba Edu Oriol - Llagostera Iñaki – Alaves Samuel CamillePonferradina Haythem Jouni Esperanza de Túnez Aarón Ñíguez – Braga Amathe N’Diaye – Atletico B OUTs Ricardo – Released Aurtenetxe – Mirandes Moutinho – Mallorca Roberto – Mirandes Javi Lara- Calcutta Cristian Garcia – Terrassa Saul Garcia Girona Nano - Eibar

www.canarianweekly.com 2nd September - 8th September 2016

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www.canarianweekly.com 2nd September - 8th September 2016