PARENTING
Seeing double R AISING T WINS CAN BE EXCITING AND TERRIF YING IN EQUAL ME ASURE BUT BEING PREPARED WILL HELP YOU PARENT WITH CONFIDENCE, SAYS Georgina Blaskey he number of twins is rising,” says Dr Lucy Hooper of private practice Coyne Medical in South West London. “This is due to increased cases of IVF and naturally-conceiving older mothers, who are more likely to have twins.” A pregnancy with twins may need extra monitoring and TAMBA, the UK-wide charity dedicated to improving the wellbeing of families with twins, triplets or more, has funded and developed new growth charts which will revolutionise how multiples are monitored. The charts mean twins can be accurately measured in the womb so health professionals can instantly see whether they’re growing appropriately. Until now, hospitals looking after women expecting twins plotted the growth measurements using singleton growth charts and clinicians had to use their judgement to decide how the babies were progressing. Dr Khalil, the consultant obstetrician who performed the first scan at St George’s Hospital using TAMBA’s research, explains: “The difficulty was identifying the difference between babies who were small because they weren’t developing properly, and twins who are normally small.” Undoubtedly one of the biggest challenges is that there’s one of you and two of them. Krista Pound, mother of twin boys and chair
T
of the trustees of TAMBA, says, “When you find out you’re having twins, it’s normal to be anxious.” Initially you need to recover from the delivery and take time to settle in to your new life. “Expect to be tired,” says Dr Hooper. “The adrenaline keeps mums going for the first three to four months, but it’s stressful at times and often this can be on the back of an anxious pregnancy or even fertility worries. Don’t have everyone visit in the first week or two – rest and get to know your babies. Space out help for further down the line when the broken nights are catching up.” Claire
used to leaving one – whether it’s at bathtime, if you’re getting them in and out of the car, or changing one – and they’ll cry a little bit, and that’s OK!” assures Krista. Dr Hooper adds: “There’s a positive side to them crying – you can’t pick up both, you can’t always rush to be there, so they’ll learn to self-soothe earlier.” Seeing the individuality of your babies is crucial. Some people advise not calling them ‘the twins’ and putting them in matching outfits. Dress them differently, ask family and friends to give them separate cards and gifts on birthdays and at Christmas. Be conscious of spending one-to-one time with each when possible. “It’ll make the situation less overwhelming and allow you to get to know your babies,” say Claire. “What works for one won’t necessarily work for the other – that’s fine. Take the opportunity to understand their likes and dislikes.” Krista agrees: “Maybe twins are harder to enjoy as you can’t give all your time to just one baby, and on some days it can feel like you’re fighting fires. Once they went to nursery I had them in for three days but one day separately, so I had a day each with one of them on their own. That space and time gives you the chance to really get to know them.” The over-riding message from the experts is be kind to yourself. Self-care is key. It can be overwhelming to leave them with someone and take time for yourself, but try. Use Ocado and take offers of housework help. “Your partner will also need to be up in the night and helping!” reminds Dr Hooper. “You’re in it together. It can strengthen a relationship, but it can also be a strain. You must make time for your relationship. The most important thing parents can do for their kids is have a strong relationship. Make your children feel like they’re part of a loving family unit.” Then sit back and marvel at the babies you’ve made!
66 | baby-magazine.co.uk
advises: “When financially planning childcare, think about your budget and what will work best. A night nanny is a good investment.” In terms of initial outlay, just because you have two babies, doesn’t mean you need two of everything. They can co-sleep in a cot and progress to their own when they’re older. Like with any newborn, the key to enjoying this new phase is getting enough sleep. “A Contented House with Twins by Gina Ford is great, even if you just take a few things from it. I liked the timelines for the routines and managed to get them into one, even though one fed quicker than the other, and one was part bottle fed. I rented a hospital-grade pump and breastfed them both at the same time, with lots of pillows and cushions around. Once they were older, it was bouncy chairs and bottles for me!” says Krista. Recognising what works for your family is key – one size doesn’t fit all with newborns, twins or otherwise. Be prepared for the fact that your babies will cry more than singletons. “You have to get
PHOTOGRAPHY: LITTLE WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY
“WHAT WORKS FOR ONE WON’T NECESSARILY WORK FOR THE OTHER – THAT’S FINE”
